To Become Holy is Always a Strive

Holiness is a general call of God to everyone of us. We are all holy but our holiness will
be blocked by the effect of sin. Fortunately, through repentance this blockage will be removed
from our path to Holiness. As a seminarian, reflecting upon the call of God to become holy, to
live in a life of holiness is not an easy task. In my almost 5 years of living a life in following
God, I have many instances where I am unholy.
Living here in the seminary is a great privilege. We are privilege because we are formed
not to only to become priest but also to become a holy person. We are privilege because we are
given many opportunities to pray, reflect, study in order to become holy. The seminary provided
us with all the resources that she can give to the seminarians so that we will be formed and be
closer to God. So, because we are given great privileges by the seminary, the people outside the
seminary expects that we are all living a life patterned in Christ; a life of holiness. This is the
common bias that the people have in their minds. In my experience, it may be informal for me to
say this, with all honesty, because of this common bias that the people have, they treated us with
a little specialty. They are kind to us perhaps because they expect that we are good. We are often
labeled as “Harmless” people. It may sound funny but yes this is true based on my personal
experience.
For me, as seminarian, who is somewhat living up to the common bias of the people, I
have difficulties meeting up to their expectations. Because of the bad habits that I have
encountered in my life before, I have great tendency to commit sin. I am very prone to
temptations. I easily succumb to my weaknesses and dwell more on my feelings. Even now that I
am in my 5th year of formation year here in the seminary and with all the privileges that I have, I
still carry this burden in my back. Because of this great inclination to commit sin, it blocks the
holiness that I am called for. It also blocks the graces that God has given to me. This is true and
is evident in my life as a seminarian. I always feel guilty about it. Sometimes I feel mad about
my tendencies and on myself. I often listen to the evil voices in my head. I easily get
discouraged. I feel so down, spiritually desolated and mentally depressed. I abhor myself because
even if how many times I resist and turn away from sin, eventually it will come back all the time.
It is always an unending cycle of sin. There are times where I surrendered and let the evil forces
dwell within me; Always committing sin over and over again. Those were the days of pains and
crisis.
But even though I have these great tendencies to commit sin, still here I am striving to
live the life that I am called for. I am striving not only because of the expectations of others, but
because I always believe in the love and mercy of God. I was down perhaps because I thought
that I can turn away from sin through the maximum effort that I exert. Yet I failed to realize that
to turn away from sin is not just enough in order to become holy. What is the most necessary
thing to do is to turn myself in to God; to surrender ourselves and offer everything to God’s will.
I was so confident with myself that I can renew my bad habits. I was wrong and I failed. But
even though
To answer to God’s call of holiness needs a huge sacrifice in life. To become holy and
good is not just a one-time attempt. As of Pope Francis said in one of his homilies, to become
good is an everyday process of repentance and renewal. It is the strive to become better from
what we are yesterday. It is the strive to become holy despite our great tendencies to commit sin.
To become holy is always a strive.