Author’s note

This short book is an attempt to specify the steps to

successfully and systematically set and achieve goals. There
are a vast number of self-help books available today; this book
is an attempt to help people see the choices they have in life, in
front of them, which they probably don’t see at times due to the
fast paced lifestyle that is so common today. It’s about
incorporating certain techniques from what is called as
“alternative science” or “alternative therapies” or “pseudo-
science” such as Ikigai and neuro-linguistic programming to
help lead empowered lives.
This book, is not a claim that the author is an absolute expert,
but rather, just like everyone else, is working towards achieving
his goals and becoming a better version of himself.
In neuro-linguistic programming, there’s a concept of value,

“Everything has value, it’s up to us to choose, whether we see

the value in it or not”
I hope you would find this “short-book” helpful, or at the least,
informative, and you achieve the “outcomes” you want for
yourself.

Index
 Introduction

 Chapter 1

 Chapter 2

 Chapter 3

 Chapter 4

 Chapter 5

 Chapter 6

 Chapter 7

Introduction
Do you recall a time in your life, where you were really
engrossed in listening to music while leaving your house to go
the market, and it’s not until the shopkeeper asks you what do
you want to buy, that you realise you’ve reached your
destination, probably you don’t even remember locking the door
and walking down to the market? 

Similarly in life, many people live life on autopilot. All of us have

heard phrases such as “life happens” or “things happen”. Many
people, live life on autopilot, they let “life happen” to them, and
then try find the most acceptable solution to them once it has
happened by compromising on what they actually want.  
 

 
 
On our first day of high school, every psychology student had to
tell, as an ice breaking exercise, why they chose to study
psychology. The fact is, most of the students chose
psychology, because they were told “psychology would be a
great combination with science (biology)”, or that “psychology
would be a scoring subject so you can focus more on the
subjects that matter” some students also replied, “it’ll help us
understand… understand people”. And based that, our
teacher’s follow up question was, “what is it that you want to
understand?” and “what do you want to study?”  

 
When we are born, our mind is blank as to any preferences, or
what is right or wrong. As children, our parents and teachers
tell us how we should behave, what we should eat, what we
should do. As children we need that support and care and
safety. As we grow up we continue to see the world through the
eyes of the adults around us. They give us a certain way of
living, imbibe certain values and beliefs in us which we hold to
be true. Whether we agree with those beliefs and values or not,
many people aren’t given an opportunity to explore what they
want or even asked about it. They are expected to take on
those beliefs because they’re coming from adults and work on
autopilot based on these beliefs. 

But again, it’s also not always wrong to live like this on

autopilot. Imagine, having decided your goal, you start taking
steps towards making that goal a reality without even realising
that you are “working”. You are working on autopilot, the only
difference this time is that your destination is actually
where you want to go.  How great would it be, to not only know
where you want to go, but to also see yourself going there.  
It's important to realise that in life, we always have a choice,
the number of choices that we have can only be limited by
us, ourselves. 

 
 
In the popular series ‘Suits’ Harvey spectre says “When
someone points a gun at you, you take the gun, or you pull out
a bigger one. Or, you call their bluff. Or, you do any one of a
hundred and forty six other things.” Which could be applied in
your life as well in the sense that you are only limited to the
boundaries and options you set for yourself. 

 
 Chapter 1
Have you ever noticed that some days when you are in a bad
mood, your entire day seems to be a bit off? Or have you
noticed that some people might not be as successful in
achieving their goals or that some people always seem to have
an excuse or a reason for their failure which is something
outside of them which they can’t control? 
But if the reason for failure is outside of them, something they
have no control over, then it’s just random that who will achieve
what they want and who won’t. But again, have you noticed that
people who you would call as successful, who have gotten to
where they want to be, tend to find aspects of themselves for
their failures instead of looking outside? 
 

 
 
I read an article once, it was about talking about how to deal
with failure through a story about ISRO’s satellite launch. The
basic gist of the story was ISRO had attempted to launch a
satellite into orbit. But when the satellite launch didn’t go
according to the plan and the satellite crashed, the then ISRO
chief Satish Dhawan called a press conference and took the
entire blame himself, despite knowing that he would be
severely criticized for this failure. The following year, ISRO
attempted to launch another satellite which was a success.
After this successful launch, ISRO chief gave the credit to his
team for this success. 
 

 
 
 
If we look at the mindset of people in the form of an equation,
we can visualise it as action-reaction or cause-effect i.e. a
cause, causes a particular event or, an action leads to a
reaction. We can visualise a person as either being at the
cause side or the effect side. As you could probably guess, a
person who is at the cause side, is at cause for their life, they
work to actively make things happen whereas people who are
on the effect side let things happen to them. They blame other
things or people.  
 
 
Responsibility: You could think of responsibility as our ability to
respond to certain events and situations and our ability to
choose to respond. There are many people who will always
have a reason for why they can’t get what they want, which
they believe in completely. They are choosing to not work
towards what they want. It’s not to say that there can be no
reason to not be able to do something, but if you have decided
what you want to do, you could change the path for achieving it
not the aim itself. If what we want is directly connected to
factors outside our control more than the factors within us, then
there is always a significant chance that we won’t get what we
want. If we really want something, it is essential that we take
the responsibility of making that happen. As in the article I
mentioned, the then ISRO chief took the entire responsibility of
failure on himself instead of blaming something outside of him,
outside his control. 
 
Acceptance:  Here it is important that you need to accept
yourself and others as they are.  
Imagine it this way, you might dislike the rainy season, but you
accept it as a part of the annual cycle of seasons because you
can’t control the weather. Trying to stop rainy season would be
like walking straight into a wall and then blaming the wall for
being there. 
There are things which are beyond our control, if we attach our
personal goals and ambitions to such things, there’s always a
very high chance that we won’t get what we want. You may not
like some aspect of someone, you may not like something, but
you don’t have to try and change it, you could accept
it. Here, acceptance doesn’t mean that you to agree with or like
that thing, you’re simply acknowledging that some things are
beyond your control, and this is how things are as of now. 
 
But before you can do that, I think it is important that you
accept yourself first. Being humans, we all have our
imperfections. And even if you can change those,
you must first accept them, that they are there.  
Every person strives for excellence, for living an empowered
life. The difference between people who achieve it and who
don’t is their mindset, their perception of themselves and the
world around. 
 

One night, I was alone at home, and my mother was coming

home from out of station, so I had to go pick her up. I had never
driven a car alone before, and initially I was nervous about
taking the car. But then before I left, I did a relaxation exercise
and told myself that I can drive well, no need to be scared. And
as it turns out, I was able to drive well. 

 
Imagine that you need to cook food for some guests, if you
keep doubting yourself and thinking that you won’t be able to
cook well, something will go wrong, then would you be able to
cook good food without something going wrong? 
If you have read about law of attraction, you would have read
that it says that our thoughts words and actions produce
energies that attract like energies.  
So if you keep doubting yourself and thinking that you would
make some mistake, such negative thoughts and focussing
your energy and mind on the negatives would more likely lead
to negative results, in this case, something going wrong while
cooking. 
 
Likewise, if you set big goals for yourself, but if you’re willing to
settle for ok results, then you would more likely achieve only ok
results. For leading empowered lives, you must also believe
that you are truly capable of creating such a life for yourself. 

While studying psychology, our teacher used to tell us an

interesting phrase, “even reality is not real”. At first it seems
impossible and illogical. But the logic/reason behind it is that
our reality is based on our perception.  
 
Imagine, a colleague is having a big party at their house and
have invited you along with lots of other people. Now, if you’re
an outgoing person, extrovert, then you would find this party
extremely enjoyable, isn’t it? On the other hand, if you are an
introvert, if you like to spend quality time with yourself or only a
select group of people, you might find going to such a party as
stressful, something which is not so enjoyable. 
 
In the above example, the situation in both the cases is the
same, but your internal beliefs, values, morals, form an internal
filter which shape your perception of the situation a certain
way. By understanding our internal filters (our beliefs, values,
etc.) we can change them and change our reality. 

 
 
 
 Chapter 2
   
Probably everyone has heard of law of attraction. When I first
came across this concept, I didn’t know what it was. So tried
reading about it, learning more on about the topic. Going on the
web, there are hundreds of courses online and every teacher
claims that their course is best, that after taking so and so
course, the student will be able to “attract, success, money, etc.
to themselves” just like a magnet would attract iron. 

A common theme in most of these workshops online, or even

many self-help books is where most people struggle, finding
what makes them happy. More often than not, people do what
they’re supposed to do, what is expected of them without
considering their happiness. Many people hold on to the
practice of doing what they’re supposed to do because they
don’t know what makes them happy. Many people I’ve talked
to, come up to me and say that they’re feeling low, they’re
doing well in college, they have friends, they got that job that
they had interviewed for, but they don’t feel happy. 
Some of my friends also come up to me and say, “I’m pursuing
this course because my parents want me to do it” or that “Doing
this job doesn’t make me happy, but if not this then what? And
what if I change my job and I’m still not happy?” 

   

Imagine you need to use a map to reach somewhere, even

though you have a map, it’s virtually impossible to reach a
place you want to go if you don’t what that place is, isn’t it? 
Only once we find what things make us happy in life, we can
work towards that. 
 
There’s a Japanese concept called ‘ikigai’. This concept is
about leading a happy and fulfilling life. In simple words, it could
be thought of as the reason you have to jump out of bed every
day. The Japanese believe that everyone has an ikigai, it’s just
about finding what your ikigai is. According to this concept,
when you find out the thing that you love, the thing that you’re
great at, something which the world needs and for which you
can be paid, then you find your ikigai. 
 
 
  
 

 
Finding what makes you happy, your goal, or your outcome if
you may, is like deciding a location on a map. It’s not about
what you would “rather prefer” doing, or something which
seems “pretty nice”, it’s the real, unshakable knowledge that
this thing makes you happy. The clarity that comes with being
clear on what your outcome is, helps carry you and motivate
you into making it your reality. 

Before you get started on making changes, you need a target

to aim at. Not knowing what your outcome is, is what allows
people to get muddled and get lost. You must’ve heard
someone saying that they don’t know and can’t control what’s
happening in their life, or that they feel lost, you might have
even heard phrases like “what’s the point”. Not knowing your
outcome tends to make one more lethargic and confused, and
people tend to spend their time and efforts not getting
anywhere at all because they’ve not decided where it is that
they want to go.  
Be it your social life, professional life or any other area of your
life that you want to empower, just ask yourself one question,
“what is it that I REALLY want?” Sometimes it might be difficult
to find an answer to it. We might say we want this or that
but going a little deeper into finding the motivation for that helps
us find exactly what we really want.  

A person I was talking to, was discussing some problems at

work that they were having. They didn’t feel like going to work
and in general they were unmotivated in that job. As we were
talking about it, they realised that the reason they were
unmotivated was because they had certain expectations of their
ideal job and certain skills that they were good at, but the job
wasn’t fulfilling it. They found that in their professional life, what
would make them happy was to quit the job and get a new job
which fulfils their expectations and utilizes their skillset, things
they’re good at. 

 
I was reading various articles about neuro-linguistic
programming, and one article which stuck with me, which
also helped me a lot personally, talked about knowing one’s
outcome.
 
Know your outcome: Many people, even if they know their
outcome, their goal, their destination, they don’t “know” it. Many
people may know what their outcome should be. They may
believe that it is humanly possible to achieve, and they may
even strongly believe that they will achieve it. But there is a
difference between believing something and knowing it.
Believing something will happen requires some amount of faith,
and when times get tough, and things don’t visibly seem to be
falling in place, then one’s faith can be tested and shaken, but
what we know as a fact won’t be as “fragile”. 
Think about a universal fact which you believe, let’s say, the
sun will again come up tomorrow. This is a fact that most
people would believe to absolutely true, and they wouldn’t have
any doubts regarding this in their mind.
Instead of believing that you can achieve your outcome, it is
more helpful to think that that outcome has already taken place
in a time in the future. To know it for a fact, something which is
100% guaranteed to come true. This helps one to truly “know”
their outcome as a matter of fact. 

There was a small technique I learnt when learning about

neuro-linguistic programming. When we believe that something
has occurred in the future, that vision could, at times become a
little blurry. But times like this, we could go out and experience
it by visualising it; closing your eyes and going to that time in
future where that outcome has taken place and seeing
everything you see, hearing everything you would hear
and completely experiencing that moment in the future where
your outcome is a reality before you open your eyes and come
back to your present.   
 Chapter 3
A lot of people have problems in setting goals, in how to set
goals. Probable you have heard of S.M.A.R.T. goals.

S stands for specific.

If you’ve set a goal for yourself, just ask yourself a few
questions, ˜Have I been specific about this goal? It probably
looks clear enough for you, but again think, if someone else
was to use this goal and achieve it, will they know exactly
where they need to get to? For example, If I was going to take
on your goal, if I was to go and achieve it for you, would I know
precisely what it is you want with the way you are describing it
to yourself. Would you be able to outsource your goal to me,
leave it, forget about it and wait for me to deliver it up exactly as
you want it? Similarly, ask yourself, “can I measure my goal
objectively to measure how far I’ve come in achieving it?”, “Is
the goal attainable, is it possible to attain this goal?”, “Is my
goal relevant to me, is it important to me?”, “Have I set a
timeframe for myself to achieve this goal or is it open ended?”
To achieve your goals you are going to need to engage the
power of your conscious as well as your unconscious mind. It
will be your unconscious mind that brings to your conscious
awareness all of the possibilities and opportunities that will be
presented to you along your journey to achieving your goal.
Your unconscious mind is the goal getter, and your conscious
mind is your goal setter. So consciously, you need to
communicate your intent to your unconscious mind so that it
knows what to deliver up for you.

For example, suppose you are starting a restaurant, and your

goal is to make more money. You might think it is specific
enough for a goal. Well picture this situation, you have set the
goal of making more money. You go to your workplace and
while you are there, you get one order say, worth Rs. 100 more
than the previous day. Your unconscious mind likes the easy
route to helping you fulfil your goals. So, in your subconscious
mind, you have achieved your goals since you made Rs. 100
more than the previous day. At the conscious level you believe
you haven't, however for some reason, and you may have said
or this before ˜for some reason you just can’t seem to get
motivated, and you don't know what’s wrong with you...now
does that ring any bells? Well of course you can’t get
motivated, of course you can’t seem to get started because at
the unconscious level you have already finished.

So how can we make our goals more specific? for example, if

your aim is ‘To have more money’, keep in mind
that is simply not specific enough due to the fact that
any amount of money that you find yourself with that
is more than you have when you set the goal is the successful
conclusion of the goal. So how do we get specific in
this instance. well, the obvious first question is ‘how a great
deal’. How an awful lot of money exactly do you need. So, let’s
say for instance, this is Rs. 200,000 well this
is more specific, but we could get even extra specific,
through announcing something like and I’ve simply made a
deposit in my account of Rs. 250,000 that has taken me to
Rs.200,000 and I have accomplished my aim.

What about another goal ‘to lose more weight’. This is a very
big picture goal which we can take to a lot more detail. For
example, ‘’’ and I have lost so and so number of pounds, I
notice the difference mainly in my forearms where the skin has
a different sheen. I feel lighter and have more spring in my
step. I notice that the clothes I am wearing look looser and
more comfortable. Etc. Remember that the unconscious mind
needs clear instructions to follow. And be getting specific like
this we are delivering up a shopping list to the unconscious
mind to set it off to get all the things we desire.
The next step in smart goals is M of SMART which stand
for measurable. The question is how are you going to know
you are achieving your target? You might have heard said
things like “I am putting in all this effort but I am not getting the
results” or maybe “this isn't going to work after all”. That’s why
it’s useful to have some points, a checklist within the process
that would indicate that you have made progress. In a big goal
these could be sub-goals, or they could be events or situations
on the way which are concrete evidence that you are
progressing towards your goal. These are variables that you
can set up in the system of goal achievement that can either
signify progress or prompt some form of corrective action. Just
ask yourself a question, what would have to happen along the
way that would absolutely prove to you that you are
progressing towards your goal? And remember this could
simply be a feeling that you have at some point on your
journey.

You would have often heard people say that you need to break
a big goal down into smaller component parts. However, as you
are about to find out, many of these sub goals, might not be
sub goals at all and could be individual goals that run
concurrently with others. Now sometimes, I will suggest to
people that they break their goals up into smaller chunks. Most
sub goals are not goals at all. For example, If have a goal of
owning 5 businesses by a certain date. If none of those
businesses dependent on each other to be set up and that it is
the key. Then, is setting up each of these businesses sub goals
of a larger goal?

However, are they not more individual goals? That could be

treated as such. So, if you find that your big picture goal has
some of these ‘sub goals’. You set up subgoals as goals and
you work on them aside from your big picture goal. The thing
with this type of set up is, that so long as you achieve your
individual goals you achieve the big one. So, they don’t really
need to be nested within that big picture goal and you can pull
more resources to work them making best use of your time. If
you are doing that you will know whether you are achieving
your mission by achieving your individual goals or if you prefer
sub goals. Just Remember you need to remain flexible in your
approach to achieving your goals so tying yourself up in knots
with too many milestones and deadlines is not going to help
you to remain flexible in anyway at all.

The next part of smart goals is action.

Taking Action is the rocket fuel you add to get started and
reach your destination. It’s not something very scientific, but it’s
simply about taking directed action towards your goal. It is easy
to mix up being very busy with actual focused action that is
going to drive you forward towards your goal. If you are reading
this then you are already wanting to take positive, directed
actions, taking steps forward for achieving your goals. Are you
able to keep your motivation for continuing taking directed
action? Most people will say things like they have a lot of things
to do, they have many things which takes up all of their time
which leaves them with no time for working on their goals. You
see often, we find ourselves so busy doing things, so frazzled
by life, doing things we don’t want to do that we don’t even
make any headway, don't move forward towards achieving our
goal.

Go out to that time when you have just achieved your goal and
ask yourself how important the other work is now? If you want
major results, get major outcomes, you need to put in major
action and that action needs to be in alignment with your goal.
If what you are doing, does not support you achieving your
goal, you need to stop doing it and put that energy into
something that will, and it really is as simple as that

The R in smart goals refers to realistic.

While setting goals, it is important that we also make sure these
are realistic. If I haven’t ever played badminton before, and I set
a goal for myself to become the world number 1 player in 2
months, then that’s, quite frankly, not realistic.
In my opinion, if your goal was a horse, it would be a
contender, maybe not even a strong contender, but a
contender all the same, which will provide a good strong return
on investment if it crosses the finish line. And that, is a realistic
goal that is going to deliver.

The next step in the smart goals model is T, time based.

So one of the most common reasons why people fail to achieve
their goals is the fact that they don’t set any time frame on their
goals. They may well have been really specific about what their
goal is and how it is going to pan out, and they may well have
worked out all of those control variables we spoke about so that
they can keep a track on the goal and make sure it is still on
track, they could well be taking a lot of action and have a
realistic goal. However, without a deadline, guess what? The
goal is unlikely to be achieved. And you know what, this is just
human nature. If there isn't a deadline on something, then it
tends to get pushed to back of the queue, it’s just what we do.
The unconscious mind of course takes the path of least
resistance, so if you haven't put a dead line on your goal, then
sure it will be working on achieving your goal, but it will be
doing it very much at its own pace, and when other things that it
deems to be more important are finished.

Whenever you get a bill from someone let’s say an electricity

bill, you will see that it says something like your payment is due
by.... and then a certain date. Now what do you think would
happen if it said on the top. This is the amount you need to pay
us, and you can do so at your leisure. We would end up not
doing it, wouldn’t we? We would get busy with other things and
forget about it. We need to treat our goals in the same way.
With a clearly defined date and even time when the goals will
be achieved. And if you want to you can break this down into
sub goals as well.

The conscious mind is very linear, this happens then this and
then that and then the goal is achieved. Whereas the
unconscious mind is quantum, with ideas popping in and out of
existence in a second, with the unconscious focus or objective
changing in what would appear to be a random way to the
conscious mind.
It is not unusual, for the unconscious mind to be working away
in the background on a goal that has let’s say a 12-month
deadline and consciously it may seem like nothing is
happening, and then in month 10, or 11 for everything to fall
into place.

However, there is a difference between fixed date and a by

then date. Some goals have fixed dates such as participating in
a state football match. That is a fixed date goal. You can’t
achieve it any earlier no matter how hard you work.
Other goals, such as earning Rs. 500,000 by 27 december,
2021, is “by then” goal; you could achieve it sooner than 27
December as well.
Our unconscious mind doesn’t like working any harder than it
needs to. So, when you set a date for your goal, say, 27
December; that date needs to meet all the other criteria of the
smart goals model. It also very much needs to be achieved, as
in, on that date the result is evident as you set it out. If you set
these dates up as “by then” dates, you’re essentially giving your
unconscious mind permission to achieve your goal sooner than
the date you decided on previously.
When you absolutely trust your unconscious mind, it helps
achieve your goal in the quickest most effective way possible
and at the very latest by the date you set. So now, decide on a
date, and if your goal isn’t date isn’t fixed, set a specific date
that you will have achieved your goal. That is the date, its
decided and as long as you keep on moving towards your
goals, when that date comes, you will have achieved what you
set out to achieve.

SMART stands for

Specific - the more specific we make the goal the more likely
we are to achieve it.
Measurable - we need to have some check points along the
way to ensure we stay on track
Action - a goal without action is a dream
Realistic - so the goal needs to be possible withing the given
time frame
Time – your goal needs to be timed, i.e you have to put a
deadline on achieving the goal or it simply won’t happen.
 Chapter 4
Growing up, probably all of us were told by our parents and
teachers that you need to work hard and without hard work you
can’t be successful in life.
I think we could rephrase it as “taking focussed action”. All of us
are probably busy with college or job or business or any
number of things. Probably we even tell ourselves things like “I
would love to work on this but I don’t have time”, “I want to join
the gym and get in shape, but I can’t find time for it”. Any day
we probably have a list of things to do which are in need of our
immediate attention.
But think of it this way, if you want enormous results, enormous
success in life, you will need to take enormous action which are
directed towards your outcome.
Now close your eyes and go out to that time in the future,
where your future self has achieved your goals, and see how
they would deal with this list of things to do which might not be
directed towards your goal. Now you would probably realise the
importance of directed action and how it’s different from being
busy in things which aren’t directed towards your goals.

If you are busy doing things which aren’t directed towards your
goals, then you’re spending your energy not going where you
want to be.

Let’s say you get in your car, and you have to go to work, but
instead you are driving in the opposite direction, then no matter
how much time you put in, how much energy you put in, you
won’t reach your destination unless you turn around and start
driving towards your workplace, isn’t it?
So, if you what you are doing doesn’t support you, you need to
stop doing that. There is no magic system which could make all
your wishes and dreams come true with no efforts. If your goal
is to buy a mansion, if you dream of it but take no action, you
could go on dreaming for a long time without anything
materialising, isn’t it?

Whatever your goals are, it will require taking action. Many

people I’ve talked to tell me that they have so much work, so
many things to do and they simply must do it. Similarly, even if
your goals are dependent on others, then it can’t work because
you need to be responsible for your goal in order to have
control over it. If it’s totally dependent on others, then you don’t
have any control over your goal.

In case you have too much on your plate, it’s a good idea to
learn to delegate some of the work in order to make time to
work on and act towards what matters the most to you. Things
like time management and delegating can help your free up
time to work on your goals.

Many people I have talked to, they always had a reason for why
they can’t work towards their goals, but the underlying reason
for most of them was that they chose not to work on their goals
and do the things they don’t want to do because of fear; fear of
the consequences of not doing things that were expected off
them, fear of not succeeding in what they want to do, fear of
being held accountable for any setbacks.
We all have experienced fear at some point in our lives, isn’t it?
So, we can all vouch for the fact that fear really holds us back
and distorts our sense of what can be and what can’t be. It’s a
stifling emotion.

But as humans, we choose our states, our motivations, we

choose where our energy flows, which no-one else can do for
you. So, what is more important for you? Staying where you are
and doing things you don’t like, or your goals, dreams and
ambitions. All the other work you have also needs to be done,
but isn’t the priority your goals? And you need to take action
NOW, and isn’t it safe to say that everything else can come at
second place to your dreams and ambitions; living the life of
your dreams?

If you seem to find yourself doing things which don’t push

towards your goals, you can stop and reroute. Taking action is
not the same as planning what action to take or thinking you’ll
start by taking so and so action, but instead, actually going
ahead and doing it.
“Time is short, time is precious, and when it has gone it is gone
forever, so again, knowing what you want. What can you do no
matter how small, right now, that will get you where you want to
be.”

Now, I used to procrastinate about actually getting up and

doing work, and in the process, I won’t be able to get much
work done. But there was an important technique I learnt which
helped me overcome this to a great extent, which helped me to
get started on my goal. Many people might have very elaborate
plans about how they plan to achieve their desired outcome,
and one thing you will probably hear people saying when there
is a lot to get done is “make a list”.

But this method of making a list will be more effective and

helpful and getting started and getting things done.
The next few steps will require that you use a pen and paper
and just do it without stopping to think about it consciously,
writing down the very first thing that pops into your head.

What is the first thing you need to do to move your goal on?
Just write down the first thing that comes to your mind, without
pondering over it much. Once you have it, it’s going to be your
first item on the list, as well as the last item on the list. Put
down your pen, and look at your list, that one item, is your task
for today. Your one step towards your goal. It might sound too
easy to be true, but as the saying goes “drop by drop an ocean
is formed”.
Just ask yourself, what could you do right now that would
positively push you towards your goal? How much time have
you spent delaying the realization of that goal today by NOT
doing that? We need to realise that time is our greatest asset,
and when we use that time to work towards achieving our
ambitions, no matter how miniscule the task, we are investing
our greatest asset in our goals and bringing them to fruition.
Knowing what you want. What can you do no matter how small,
right now, that will get you where you want to be. Once you
know what you want, the second step and the most important
step, take action, today, right now.

Chapter 5

Growing up, I’ve been a huge fan of Sherlock Holmes, and the
parts where Sherlock Holmes would analyse, in a matter of a
few seconds, the way a person kept his hand minute changes
in a person’s way of sitting to infer important aspects about the
person’s character and personality always intrigued me. In part
intrigued and inspired by this, I try to read as much as I can
about our body language and how it relates to the underlying
psychological processes, thought patterns in a person. Reading
a few such articles, I came across the term “sensory acuity”,
used more frequently in neuro-linguistic programming. When I
came across this concept, it seemed so simple, and in my
experience, so very useful. People I’ve talked to, whom I’ve told
about this concept have also found it helpful once they fully
learn about it.

Imagine, you are talking to your boss about something

important, and imagine you could tell whether your boss is in
tune with you or not and you could make minor corrections to
avoid any obstacles and helped you maintain a steady progress
to your ideal life. Imagine how empowering it would be if you
could meet with people and simply know whether your purpose
was aligned with theirs whether they got what it was you were
saying?

Come to think of it, it’s interesting how human beings

communicate and how we communicate with all the systems
that make up our subjective experience, isn’t it?

Most people just go through life tackling things as they keep

coming up, almost like the “whack-a-mole” game. Most people
would focus on the things at hand and keep firefighting as and
when new fires start. It doesn’t come as a surprise as growing
up, most of us are taught by those around us to focus, focus on
what we’re doing in the moment, focus on the things at hand,
just focus, almost to a point where we become tunnel visioned.
There is nothing wrong with “focussing”, after all no one gives
us a manual on how to best utilise our minds, and we are
dependent on what we learn from those around us. When we
focus on things right in front of us, in a very directed manner,
more often than not, we tend ignore experiences and
opportunities, it’s as if we have blinkered our senses such that
we can see only what is right in front of us.

Do you remember a time when you were in school, and your

teachers would tell you something like “Your grades are going
down, you need to focus” or your colleagues or friends telling
you that you need to focus? They say that believing that they’re
being helpful in suggesting that and of course that’s true, but
that focus needs to be on the achievement of the big picture
goal and not each of its individual components at the cost of
everything else. Though the smaller goals are essential to
actualise the big picture goal but spending all your time and
energy on the smaller goals is more counter-productive
because they’re make it more difficult for someone to achieve
their goal by shutting them off from possibilities. When we allow
ourselves to be blinkered in this manner, we’re missing out on a
lot of information and opportunities.

In neuro-linguistic programming, the term sensory acuity refers

to communication and feedback mechanism, wherein we notice
minute changes in a listener’s body language which is feedback
on the communication, on what and how the speaker is
speaking about something. It helps you understand how your
communication is being received by another person, a listener.
It helps you understand their thought processes and emotions
about what is being communicated. However, some neuro-
linguistic practitioners hold the view that that sensory acuity is
more than that and in fact it is about being connected to
everything around you. In my experience, sensory acuity can
be thought of, as being present in the moment, being
completely aware and present in the moment. By doing this you
are able to spot potentials and opportunities that you would
otherwise miss if you had a tunnel vision view of the world.
When you are practising sensory acuity, you are interacting
with everything that’s happening in your experience, not just a
tunnel visioned portion of what’s right in front of you, but you’re
thinking, processing and responding to everything happening in
your experience.

The next time you are talking to someone, you could try out a
little exercise, the next time you are speaking with someone,
become aware of that persons physiology, and begin to notice
how it changes ever-so slightly when you are speaking with
them, notice how their breathing changes, become aware of the
pupils and how they dilate as you talk about certain things and
for now just understand that these changes have meaning,
Whenever you see a shift in someone’s physiology, it is as a
direct result of a change in the internal representation or
pictures in their mind.

You can even try, for a moment, pick something out in the room
that you are in or wherever you are, and while you look at it,
just become aware of everything else you can see and wonder
how it all fits together. Then your feelings, notice the feeling of
air as you breathe it into your body, the feel of the clothes
against your skin, notice that slight breeze as it crosses past
your face. You can do the same with, the smells, and tastes
you are experiencing right now and real time. And finally, then
bring your attention to your thoughts, notice the thoughts you
are having and ask yourself, what is it I am thinking and how
did I come to think that, and how do it know it’s real?
And what about focus? The focus needs to be on your
outcome, the big picture goal. Try on your outcome as often as
you can and that is the focus that you need to have, and the
details tend to take care of themselves.
 Chapter 6

Have you noticed that most people who take new year’s
resolution, tend to break it soon? And it happens with many
people, that they get really stuck in, and might find a little
difficult to change when starting out with a new goal, because
human beings are creatures of habit and for the most part, we
are not comfortable with change. People are generally change
averse and it all comes from the fight flight or freeze response
that is hardwired into our unconscious minds as a means of
protection, which is fine, however, what we do is we take this
natural process and do our best to interpret it consciously. We
try to interpret that perceived danger consciously to the point
where it grows arms and legs and becomes a created,
conscious fear, that can impact our lives long after the real
unconscious fear has gone away.

At the unconscious level, it means that we are afraid of change.

And think about it, isn’t that the reason that most of us remain
in dead end jobs or unfulfilling jobs which we don’t like we try to
rationalise staying in the same place by telling ourselves we
can’t, or we don’t want to change our jobs.

If you go to the metro station in the morning, you’ll see the kind
of crowd present, and interestingly so, everyone dresses
almost identically just rushing to get to their workplace on time.
We are so caught up in this, we don’t even realise that we don’t
want this or worse yet, we know it but we’re scared to do
something about it.

There is nothing wrong with that, if that is what you choose for
your life. Just close your eyes and think for a moment, what
does your dream life look for you? Does it include commuting to
the office whatever the weather? Does it include spending 50 or
60 hours a week doing something you don't want to do, only to
have a fraction of the time left to spend on things you love to
do?

The thing is most people are rigid and try to avoid major
changes as much as is possible. For example, only a handful of
people would quit the job they already have to start out on their
own, doing something they love, isn’t it? But to get major
results, taking major action is required. Sticking to a routine is
good, it even helps us be in discipline, but having certain
amount of flexibility does help, isn’t it?

You may have big goals, but the actions you make, the work
you do determines whether you reach your goals or not. Most
people will set a goal for themselves, and if they can’t seem to
achieve it, they tend to change the goal instead of the work
they’re putting in to achieve that goal, but isn’t it better to just
change your actions to be able to achieve your original goal?
Let’s use an analogy, you’re driving home from some place,
and on the way, you hit a roadblock up ahead, what would you
do? Do you just sit there hoping that sometime soon the
roadblock will get removed? Or do you drop the idea of going
home that day and instead go someplace else? Or do you
reroute and take a slightly different route home? It’s the same
with your goals. If you know your destination, your goals, your
outcome, then whenever you face any setbacks, any
roadblocks, then you simply reroute and make slight changes
to get around those roadblocks.

(Many NLP practitioners even use the concept of sensory

acuity for identifying roadblocks and getting around them.) The
thing is if you want that outcome which you’ve set for yourself, it
requires flexibility. As the saying goes too, “the road to success
is never a straight, smooth path”. Mentally accepting to yourself
that there may be setbacks and when there are setbacks you
don’t need to change the goal, but only change the path slightly
that you were following to reach there, can help really empower
you.

I read a quote somewhere, which I think holds true in life,

“If you hit a roadblock and must reroute it is because your goal
has motion, it means you are heading towards your goal and
that is a good thing.”
I think all of us have heard the phrase “dress for the job you
want”. From personal experience, I think we could take it a step
further to say, “operate from physiology and psychology for the
outcome you want, operate from physiology and psychology of
success.” If you did the mental exercise of closing your eyes
and going to that time in the future where you have already
reached your outcome, try doing that again, see what you can
see, hear what you can hear and experience everything that
version of you would experience now that you achieved your
outcome. While you enjoy that feeling, notice other things about
you, what’s your personality like? How do you behave? Ask
yourself, do you put the responsibility of your success on
others, or are you responsible for it, telling yourself that you set
the goals and made the efforts and achieved those goals?

Now, if you want to achieve your outcomes, your dream life,

you need to become that person, that version of yourself
because that version of yourself has achieved the things you
are wanting to achieve now. That makes sense, doesn’t it?
That means if you if you want excellence, you need to model
excellence. That means you need to behave, dress, think,
make decisions, etc. the way that version of yourself does. You
need to operate from a physiology and psychology of
excellence.

We take in information from our surroundings through our 5

senses, and bases on our values and the beliefs we hold and
any biases, etc we might have, we form our perception of the
world, we form our internal representation, the pictures in our
minds about situations, events, about the world.

How we think, how we behave, influences the decisions we

make, the actions we take. So that mental exercise mentioned
above gives you the opportunity to experience the physiology
and the internal representations of what success ‘is’ where your
goal is concerned. And of course, to start with you can
consciously behave in the same way and carry yourself with the
same physiology. Acting ‘As if’ being a strategy that you can
use to really good effect.

Now when we refer to the Psychology of excellence, we are

referring to the general mental attitude that we have, is it
basically positive, and forward thinking for example. That
mindset, the mindset that embraces the cause side of the
cause-and-effect equation mentioned earlier, which takes on an
empowered perception needs to start NOW, unless you do that,
if they don’t stop blaming other people or events outside of
yourself for where they are in life then they will not truly move
forward toward the life of their dreams. Your physiology affects
the way you think and feel and as such your physiology should
be aligned with your thinking, so find some examples of people
who are good models for you and your goal, and ask yourself
how they stand, breathe talk, what is their posture like, how do
they move etc. and more importantly ask yourself how you
would stand, talk, think and carry yourself in that time in the
future where you’ve achieved all your goals. When you have
the physiology of excellence aligned with the psychology of
excellence or you’re thinking. Then you are really heading
towards achieving your goals.
 Chapter 7
Reading this book, probably many people might think, “all this
sounds good in theory, but in reality, there are some goals which are
too big for me.”

But as Les Brown says,

“People don’t fail because they aim too high and miss, rather, because
they aim too low and hit”

So, how do you set goals that are right for you? And how to
check the correctness of the path to achieve it? It boils down to
your motivation and the "why" of what you set yourself up for if
you like. Why do you have such a goal? What you want to
achieve by achieving that goal, what you no longer want, or
achieving a goal is a way to eliminate certain aspects of your
life or behavior, or to ensure that you achieve greatness in a
particular area. your life. People spend a lot of time away from
motivation and simply communicate this through the language
they use. A common mistake many people make when they are
asked, "Why do you have this goal?" is saying what you don't
want, rather than what you do. And in fact, even if at first glance
the goals seem very close and inherently very positive. If you
have a purpose in life at this point, be it your personal life,
professional or business life, health and fitness, or
relationships, ask yourself, "Why do I have this goal?" Make
sure you can confirm that this goal is positively formulated. Are
you motivated to achieve the positive outcomes of this goal, or
are you isolated from other potential negative outcomes? And I
always suggest to question the first answer you get. One of the
tools I use in my work is 5 Why, which can be used pretty well
here. For example... the person says that he has a goal of
becoming the CEO of a large international business... It seems
like a good goal, so he asks, "Why do you have this goal?"
They might say, "I love the idea of the salary I’ll get." So ask the
question again. "Why is it so important for you to get such a
salary?" And they might say, "I hate the fact that I can't afford to
borrow from the best places and buy fancy stuff." Here as you
can see, there's a lack of motivation that drove them here.
Goals should be motivating. It is important to set goals in a
positive direction. This explains why we sometimes start very
well with working on our goals and then lose interest and
motivation. In the example above, when a person starts making
more money, their motivation to achieve their goal of becoming
a CEO weakens and may eventually fail.
To successfully set and achieve your goals, it is not only
knowing where you want to go, but also knowing where you are
now. This is really important in determining whether your goals
are realistic or not. You will hear many sayings, "Anything is
possible" or "You can do anything if you just think about it." I
agree. But there is a pitfall here. Yes, anything is possible. It is
not always realistic or believable. For example, I set a goal of
becoming the national badminton team within two months. But
if I had never played badminton in my life, this goal would be
unrealistic and I would not be able to achieve it. A goal or
dream should give you a genuinely positive feeling while doing
the work. Knowing where you are right now is really essential.
Let's say you want to learn Chinese by the end of the month. Is
that possible? Maybe so.... But if you've never spoken Chinese
before and can only put in 4 hours a week to achieve this goal
of yours is that realistic? We have to be honest with ourselves
and ask: "Where am I now?" “What is the distance from where I
am now to where I want to go?” And accurately assess our
current situation.

As we discussed earlier in this book, knowing where you are is

just as important as knowing where you are going. The point is
that if you don't know where you're going, you're less likely to
get there. To move forward, you need to have a goal to achieve
and be able to clearly define it. Close your eyes, imagine the
moment you achieved your goal, and see with your own eyes.
Pay attention to the sights, sounds, and smells of achieving
your goals and ask yourself questions. Do you have any
important sounds that you hear? And when it comes to
emotions, are there any important emotions to you? And when
you look into your own eyes right after you reach your goal, ask
yourself “how I am feeling at that moment?” and “where that
feeling is?” “If there were any words to describe this feeling,
shape, or intensity, what would it be?”
The ability to specify results is a really powerful skill, and when
talking about your goals, it's important to be absolutely clear
about what your goals are. And remember, we can have many
goals in different contexts. It doesn't have to be a project with
big results or goals. The result or goal may be to get up early
and take a walk around the house or finish a procrastination
task. Be specific and very clear about the outcome you want.

“How do I know if I have met or reached my goal?”

There is some evidence going on, and once the goal is
reached, there is absolutely no denying it. So, after you've
accomplished all the goals in the exercise above, think again
about your journey to your current future location and ask
yourself, "What happened along the way, was that proof that I
had reached my destination?" and write it down ...as long as we
know where we are and where to start our journey. We know
where the trip is going. This is not just the name of the city, it
very clearly indicates the destination. And now, just like driving
a car, we have to look for landmarks and signs on the road that
tell us we're on the right track. When generating destinations or
results, your job is to take into account signs, flags or signs
along the way, check them out on paper or as they appear and
check them out. Put it where possible. What do you see, hear,
and feel when doing the above mental training? This not only
provides evidence that you have achieved or achieved your
goal, but also creates a convincing picture of your
subconscious that you want to pursue that picture and will do
so. Unknowingly, you work subconsciously toward this ultimate
goal.
To successfully achieve this result, the result or goal must be
consistent with the overall system. When we talk about
congruence in NLP, we mean the physiology that entails an
external dream or goal. It's a conscious way of talking about the
physiology of how you speak to the outside world, the language
you use, and your desires. One of the questions you might ask
yourself is, "What makes me able to achieve these results?" or
"What will the achievement of this outcome give me?" New
opportunities may open up, more opportunities to meet people,
travel, and more. When we ask ourselves these questions, we
feel that something is wrong, for example, our feelings don't
match what we want. This is a sign of inconsistency and usually
indicates that you may want to work on a plan or goal before
diving directly into it. In my experience, this is usually a limited
belief in one domain or another. Of course, you can adjust your
goals. Perhaps the goal or result has been slightly
circumvented, and this can be changed to improve consistency
with the client. Remember, this is the client's job for you. But
you can definitely invite them to try slightly different goal
options to see if they are more appropriate.
Now that the goals are found to be congruent, are the goals
properly contextualized? Again, this requires running out of
time and trying to reach your goals. Only this time we approach
the result or goal in the context of meaning. If your goal and the
picture of it in your head check all the correct boxes and it
makes sense in the context, you need to ask yourself a
question. And with whom do I want this goal? And you go to the
future when you reach your goals and can collect all the
answers to this question over and over again. How do you feel
about it, are there any emotions you have when you experience
the context of achieving your goals that are in line with your
desire to achieve it?
If not, you can see some of the possible reasons for this. They
are well aware that when we set big goals that can change our
lives, we may need to make some significant changes as part
of the process to achieve them. And deeply, we may not be so
excited about the idea of doing this, and we, unconsciously,
can build a barrier to our success, we can self-sabotage your
efforts in an attempt to keep things as they are.

As with anything else, you need resources to achieve your

goals, these can be of many different types, for example time,
money, material things like equipment, software, machinery etc.
and there are fewer tangible items as well such as a positive
attitude, confidence, creativity etc. So, to give your goal the
best chance of success this key is crucial if you want to really
get things going in the right direction. In fact, a lot of people say
that it is the achievement of the goal that will bring about some
of the recourses that they need to be able to achieve it, which is
a kind of recursive loop that leads nowhere.
For example, someone might say of the less tangible resources
that they need to have confidence, and in reply to you might
ask them, ‘so when will you have that confidence’ and quite
often people will say things like, “oh I know I will feel really
confident when I see it working’ But that sort of comment is less
than helpful. Because to see it working, means that you would
have to be achieving your goal, and if having confidence is a
resource that is a key to having an achievable goal then you
are less likely to achieve your goal without having confidence in
it, isn’t it?
Of course, there are the material aspects in the resources that
are required too, and these all need to be identified so that you
can deal with them. Time and money often crop up and be
careful if someone starts bringing them up as often people are
unconsciously preparing their excuses for not following through
by getting those resources out there at this stage. So just ask
yourself “What is it need to fulfil this goal?”, “What resources
will I need to go and get?”
Finally, whether you like it or not, everything you do, affects
something else, physically mentally, spiritually, energetically.
We all have a responsibility to as best as possible, generate a
positive energy around us. Even in terms of the law of attraction
you will see that this is in itself a magnet to more positive things
being attracted to you. Which means that you will find that your
goal achievement is quicker and easier if you operate with
ecology. If your goal is ecologically sound.
To check whether your goal meets this ecology check, you
need to ask yourself the following questions. Ask yourself the
following: “Will I benefit from achieving this goal?”, “Will others
benefit from my achieving this goal?”, “Will society, the planet
the universe benefit from my achieving this goal?”, “Will the
achievement of my goal generate a positive energy generally?”
• What will I have to give up If I achieve my goal
• What will I get by achieving my goal
• What will happen if I achieve it?
Go ahead and ponder those questions for a moment with your
own goal, and write down the answers, and don’t be surprised if
you have an odd feeling when you do this. What you want
consciously is often very different to what you want. And it is
essential that it is inherently positive and a goal that contributes
to a greater whole. It needs to be a goal that has ecology.
Go ahead and ponder over all the points discussed in this book,
the SMART goals model, how to check whether you are
achieving your goals and how to set priorities and goals and
apply these in your day-to-day life. Just remember, usually
everyone is change averse, but for getting massive results you
need massive action, and it will involve change, but that’s ok
because at the end, you’re getting one step closer towards
actualising your outcome, your goal with each action that you
take.