A cooperative game for a couple of people 

By Aimée & Matteo. 

There’s a beautiful Italian phrase: metterci in gioco, which 

translates to put ourselves in (the) game. It means to challenge 
ourselves, to put ourselves out there. All at once, it asks you to 
be brave enough to step into new territory, vulnerable in your 
open-hearted honesty and willing to be changed. It’s the spirit of 
this phrase that we’re trying to foster in this game, where you can 
challenge yourselves and emerge stronger on the other side. 

We believe that games can be more than just-for-fun entertainment. 

We want this to be more than a standard card game. In fact, think of 
it as a tool for you and your partner to playfully explore the 
boundaries of your relationship. It’s about overcoming challenges 
together, looking for a balance between what unites you and what 
makes you unique. 

This is a cooperative game, so you either win or lose together. 

Cards are split between two stacks: Together and Apart. You win if 
you reach the bottom of Together before Apart runs out of cards. In 
the opposite case, you lose.  

Be aware, this is not a party game. It will probably trigger 

unsettling feelings and intense memories. Be compassionate with 
yourself and your partner. It’s ok to pause and seek help, if the 
emotions become overwhelming. But don’t get us wrong, we’re not 
trying to break you down. We hope this game sparks deep 
conversations. If you’re willing to open up to your partner, there’s 
so much beauty for you to feel and experience together. Crumbling 
the walls that separate you and building on your strengths. We’d be 
happy if this game could play even a tiny role in your life-long 
process of learning to love and accept each other. 

Ready to put yourselves in this relationship game? Read on! Or watch 

the video-tutorial at bit.ly/coople-video 
Components 

There are 50 cards in total: 

❏ 1 Together 
❏ 1 Apart 
❏ 1 Agree 
❏ 1 Disagree 
❏ 2 YES 
❏ 2 NO 
❏ 6 Action 
❏ 6 Challenge 
❏ 30 Question 

Question, Action and Challenge cards feature different combinations 

of 6 themes: 

Theme  Colour  Symbol 

Me  Yellow 

We  Orange 

Them  Blue 

Health  Green 

Wealth  Turquoise 

Relations  Mauve 

   
Setup 
1. You may start by sitting opposite each other.  

2. Silence. Breath in. Breath out. Smile.  

3. Establish eye contact with your partner and keep it for at 
least 10 seconds.  

4. Promise each other that you’ll be as honest as you can while 

playing this game.  

5. Give each player 1 YES and 1 NO cards. 

6. Place the Agree and Disagree cards on one side of the space 
between you, face up. 

7. Place the Together and Apart cards on the other side of the 
space between you, face up. 

8. Shuffle all the other cards and then split them between 
Together and Apart, face down. 

9. Draw 3 cards each from the Together stack. 

You’re now ready to start playing. 

Gameplay 
1. Play your cards 

Each round you take turns playing one card at a time from your hand.  

The types of cards you can play are Question, Action and Challenge. 

When you play a Question card: 

1. Place it in the middle of the space between you and read it out 
loud. 

2. You can discuss with your partner the meaning of the question, 
but try not to agree on or hint at your answer. 

3. Privately decide if your answer is YES or NO (see FAQs if 

you’re undecided between the two) and then place the 
corresponding card face down on in front of you. 

4. Reveal your answer cards simultaneously. If they match (both 

answered YES or both answered NO) then place the Question card 
in line with Agree. Otherwise, if your answers differed, place 
the Question card in the Disagree line. 

5. At this point you may want to discuss your answers. Take your 
time. Remember to listen :) 

You play the Challenge cards on yourself (by placing them in front 
of you, instead of the middle of the table). These count as one 
theme on both Agree and Disagree at the same time. 

Action cards let you discard Question cards. 

You can continue adding cards to Agree and Disagree as long as there 
are less than 3 cards with the same theme (colour/symbol) in each 
line. 

If you happen to have 3 cards with the same theme on either Agree or 
Disagree (including active Challenge cards) then that line is lost. 
Shuffle all the cards from that line back into the Together stack 
and skip to phase 3. 

2. Complete the round 

When both of you are done with your hands, because you either can’t 
or don’t want to play any more cards, then you can discard the cards 
from either Agree or Disagree. Decide which line is more convenient 
for you to get rid of (usually it’s the one with more cards lined 
up). Set the discarded cards away, they won’t be back in the game. 
Good team work. 

If the line you’re discarding contains the theme of a Challenge card 

currently active (either on you or your partner), then you can also 
discard that Challenge card. Excellent team work. 

3. Prepare for the next round 

Count the number of cards left in your hands. Transfer that number 
of cards from Apart to Together. For example, if you have 2 cards 
left and your partner has 3, transfer 5 cards from Apart to 
Together. 

If there are still cards left in the Apart stack, the game can 
continue. Decide how many cards each player will draw from Together 
for the next round (minimum 1 per player, usually no more than 5). 
Then draw those cards from Together and begin a new round. 

Win condition 

You both win the game when you get to the bottom of Together (the 
Together card is visible as there are no more cards on top of it)  

and 

you have no more cards left in your hands. 

Defeat condition 

You both lose the game if there are no more cards in Apart.  

Variations 

For a more challenging game:  

● Try reading a Question without revealing the card, so that the 

other player can’t answer strategically based on the Question 
card themes and the current state of Agree & Disagree. 
● Try starting with more cards on Together than Apart. 

For an easier game, try starting with more cards on Apart than 
Together. 

   
FAQs 
1. I’m undecided between YES and NO on a Question card. Which one 
should I pick? 
 
If there were a Depends card, or a Sometimes card, you’d pick 
that. We get it, life is not binary and answers to relationship 
questions are nuanced. Try to pick the answer that mostly 
represents your view. If you’re 49% YES and 51% NO then pick NO 
and discuss your answer with your partner after you both 
revealed your cards.  
 
2. But neither YES or NO are options for me, as the Question is 
irrelevant to me (or to us).  
 
Hmmm. Try to interpret the question in a broader sense. If it’s 
still irrelevant, pick a random answer and then please let us 
know. We want to hear your story! 
 
3. Why is this game only for couples? 
 
We started by making this game for monogamous relationships, 
and we would love to explore ways to extend its mechanics to 
different kind of relationships. If you have ideas, let’s 
collaborate! Drop an email to johanan.menapace@gmail.com. 
 
4. I have feedback/suggestions/criticism for you. 
 
Amazing! You can start by jotting down your reflections here 
bit.ly/couple-game-feedback and we can take the conversation 
forward via email (johanan.menapace@gmail.com) or videocoffee 
:)