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 Last Updated on February 18, 2022

53 Relationship Questions That Will Make Your Love Life

Better
Anna Chui
Anna is the Editor-in-Chief and Content Strategist of Lifehack. She's also a communication expert and shares tips on happiness and
relationships. Read full pro le

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If you have been in a relationship for some time, you may experience moments when you feel like you have lost that
passion you used to have for your partner.

Maybe you just got tired of who they are or maybe you and your partner are going through a different stage of the
relationship and you are feeling uncomfortable about it deep down.

If so, it may be time to reflect on your relationship and ask some key love questions about your relationship.
Even if you feel happy about your relationship right now, doing a reflection about your relationship and asking
questions about relationships can help strengthen it.

The Best Way To Re ect On A Relationship: Questions

There are several methods of reflection, but as mentioned above, questions to ask your partner and love questions can
be a quick and easy way to gauge a relationship.

These good relationship questions can help strengthen the relationship you have between one another. Or these
questions to ask your partner can help in uncovering what the problem is and deal with it. Some of these relationship
questions to ask can even help settle the unease that you’re feeling if you feel the relationship is declining.

Through good relationship questions, you and your partner will be able to figure out the problems in the relationship
and put together solutions to tackle the issue.

You want to be asking the tough relationship questions as well. Even though these are tricky love questions to deal with,
these are great relationship questions to ask as they demand commitment from both parties. These questions to ask in a
relationship can help shape the relationship moving forward.

Here are the 53 questions to ask in a relationship that can

change your love life.
Love Questions You Need To Ask
1. What was your first impression of your partner?

2. What did you like or love about your partner?

3. How did the relationship start?

4. Do you still like what you loved about your partner and why?

5. Are you happy with the intimacy you share?

6. Do you feel the same way you felt for your partner at the beginning of the relationship?

Questions About Relationships To Ponder On

7. Are you positively affecting each other’s life?

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8. Have you started to do something because of each other’s influence?

9. How often do you laugh together?

10. When was the last time you dreamt about your partner?

11. Do you like spending time with your partner’s friends and family?

12. How often do you talk on the phone with your partner?

13. How often do you think of your partner?

14. Do you smile when you relate something from your daily life with your partner?

15. Can you recall the most romantic moment with this partner?

16. Do you get each other’s feeling without the need to say anything?

17. What was the best moment in your relationship so far? (Are you smiling while recalling that moment?)

18. How do you show your love for each other?

Strong Questions To Ask Your Partner

19. When was the last time you said “I love you” to your partner?

20. Have you ever changed anything for your partner?

21. How much do you think you understand your partner?

22. Do you trust each other?

23. Have you not let your partner do something just because you feel jealous or angry?

24. How do you feel when others find your partner attractive?

25. Do you feel jealous if your partner hang out with a friend of the opposite sex?

26. How serious are you both taking this relationship?

27. Do you bring up arguments very often and why?

28. Do you make sacrifices for your relationship?

29. Have you ever apologized for what you’ve done wrong to your partner?

30. Do you forgive your partner’s mistakes easily?

31. Do you throw temper easily for small mistakes of your partners?

32. Do you respect each other’s beliefs?

Essential Relationship Questions To Ask

33. Is it really necessary to know everything from your partner’s previous relationships?

34. Do you believe in staying with this partner for a very long time or even forever?

35. How do you feel when your partner has to leave you for some time because of work or study?

36. Will you say sorry to your partner even though it’s not your fault?
37. When was the last time you had an in-depth conversation with your partner?

38. Are you keeping any secrets that you’re afraid of letting your partner know?

39. Do you think your partner’s friends and family like you?

40. Do you feel that your partner accepts the way you are?

41. Have you seen each other at your best and worst?

42. Have you ever thought about cheating on your partner? Why?

43. Have you ever thought about breaking up with your partner and why?

44. Will you lie for the sake of your partner’s happiness and how do you define the line?

45. Are you in a relationship only because you enjoy the excitement or the feeling to be loved and cared about?

46. Does this partner make you forget the painful feeling of your previous relationships?

47. Do you look forward to your future with your partner?

Relationship Questions To Ask Concerning The Future

48. Have you thought about marrying your partner? (If you two have already married, do you remember why you had
that thought of marrying your partner?)

49. Are you willing to compromise your happiness for a successful relationship?

50. When it comes to future, do you and your partner have the same relationship goal?

51. Are there more joyful moments than sad ones being together?

52. What makes you happier in a relationship, sharing or sacrificing?

53. If you could choose your partner again, would you choose the same person?

Sit Down With Your Partner And Ask Away

These relationship questions to ask yourself are designed for your own reflection, however, that shouldn’t stop you
from asking your partner about these questions and sharing answers. As the headings suggested above and from
looking at those questions, they could work as a couple or on your own.

The key thing to remember is that there’re no right or wrong answers either. This is on pure reflection as good
relationship questions are meant to identify issues for you to take action and overcome the issues these questions to ask
in a relationship identify.

Maintaining a long-term and healthy relationship is never easy, but by trying to answer the above questions about
relationships, you may find new insights about your relationship and know what to do about your love life.

As a result, it can lead to a stronger relationship with yourself and with your partner.

What Else Do You Want to Improve About Yourself?

Pick what you need most and give yourself a radical upgrade:

Make My Goal Happen

Improve My Focus
 Reach My Full Potential

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Anna Chui
Anna is the Editor-in-Chief and Content Strategist of Lifehack. She's also a communication expert and shares tips on happiness and
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 Last Updated on March 3, 2022

Why Some People Have a Lack of Empathy (And How to

Deal with Them)
Patricia Young
Certi ed Professional & Holistic Coach, bestselling author, host of the Awakening to Life podcast Read full pro le

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We all have interacted with some people that seem to have a lack of empathy, at some point of our lives. It can be
someone at work, within our personal relationships, and even within our friend group. Those experiences can leave us
feeling frustrated, unsettled, angry, disappointed, and even betrayed, especially when we need support.

It gets especially painful if you are in a relationship with someone who is unable to put themselves in your shoes.
Especially when we consider some of these people our friends, or maybe even worse, when those people are family
members and we have to be in contact with them frequently.

In this article, I will share with you the signs when someone is lacking empathy, why some people seem to lack it, how to
deal with them and introduce you to Empathy Deficit Disorder, which occurs in some people. This insight will help you so
that you don’t feel so frustrated and disappointed, help give you meaning and help you lead a happier life.

TABLE OF CONTENTS

1. Why Some People Have a Lack of Empathy (An Introduction to Empathy Deficit Disorder)
What Exactly Is Empathy?
Signs That Someone Lacks Empathy
Why Some People Lack Empathy
 How to Deal with People Who Lack Empathy
2. Final Thoughts

Why Some People Have a Lack of Empathy (An Introduction to

Empathy De cit Disorder)
What Exactly Is Empathy?
According to Dictionary.com, Empathy is:

the psychological identification with or vicarious experiencing of the feelings, thoughts, or attitudes of another.

The word originates from the Greek word “empatheia”, meaning physical affection or passion.

PsychologyToday.com defines Empathy as:

the experience of understanding another person’s thoughts, feelings, and condition from their point of view,
rather than from your own. You try to imagine yourself in their place in order to understand what they are
feeling or experiencing.

They go on to say that empathy facilitates prosocial (helping) behaviors that come from within, rather than being
forced, so that we behave in a more compassionate manner.

In other words, empathy is when you’re able to put yourself in someone else’s position, both at an emotional and
intellectual level.

Additionally, Empathy is one of the defining characteristics and foundational pieces of emotional intelligence. Mental
Health America defines Emotional intellegence as

the ability to manage both your own emotions and understand the emotions of people around you

Of the five key elements of EI (self-awareness, self-regulation, motivation, empathy and social skills), empathy drives
one’s ability to have strong interpersonal skills.

True compassion means not only feeling another’s pain but also being moved to help relieve it — Daniel Goleman

An important note, empathy can often be confused with sympathy, which is not the same thing. See 7 Intricate
Differences Between Empathy And Sympathy for a fantastic comparison between the two.

In short, empathy means that you understand the feelings of someone else, whereas sympathy means that you share the
feelings of someone else. Sometimes, sympathy can come across as unintentionally judgmental to the other person
because it lacks having you put yourself in the other person’s shoes.

Signs That Someone Lacks Empathy

Even though human beings are social creatures by nature, empathy doesn’t come naturally to all of us. Some people are
more empathetic than others. In more extreme cases where people lack empathy, some people suffer from Empathy
Deficit Disorder (EDD).
As Douglas LaBier, Ph.D., a business psychologist, psychoanalytic psychotherapist, and the Director of the Center for
Progressive Development in Washington, DC. said,

Empathy Deficit Disorder is a pervasive but overlooked condition. In fact, our increasingly polarized social and political
culture of the past few years reveals that EDD is more severe than ever. It has profound consequences for the mental
health of both individuals and society.

He explains that when you suffer EDD, you are unable to step outside yourself and tune in to what other people
experience, especially those who feel, think and believe differently from yourself. That makes it a source of personal
conflicts of communication breakdown in intimate relationships and of adversarial attitudes – including hatred –
towards groups of people who differ in their beliefs, traditions or ways of life from your own.

Here are some signs that will help you identify if someone around you lacks empathy:

They jump fast into criticizing others without putting themselves in other people’s shoes.
They seem to be cold or just out of touch for people that are suffering or are less fortunate.
They believe 100% in the rightness of their own ideas and/or beliefs, and judge anyone who does not hold their
beliefs as wrong, ignorant or stupid.
They have trouble feeling happy for others.
They have trouble making or keeping friends.
They have trouble getting along with family members.
They feel entitled to receiving favors and use you to serve their needs without showing appreciation. They will
even get offended if they don’t get their way.
In a group setting, they will talk a lot about themselves and their lives without really caring about what other
people share.
They do or say something that hurts a friend or a loved one, and tend to blame his/her actions on them. They truly
believe that the fault is in the person receiving the hurt because they reacted poorly, were rude or were
oversensitive.

The truth is that without empathy, it is hard to connect with others and create deep emotional connections. This can
cause problems in relationships, as people aren’t felt seen or heard.

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Why Some People Lack Empathy
Empathy is an innate and learned skill that is shaped by how we are wired when we are born, and our own
environment and life experiences. To experience empathy to some extent, it means that we have to get in touch with
our emotions.

Many people who lack empathy were raised in families who avoided getting in touch with their feelings and even
condemned others for feeling their emotions. People in that environment have learned to shut down their feelings early
in their lives to such a degree that they closed off their hearts and struggle to connect to their own feelings. An inability
to connect to their feelings positions them to have difficulty relating to other people’s feelings.

As a result, these people end up lacking self-compassion, self-love and are disconnected from their authentic self and
divine connection to source. They are probably not even aware that such disconnection is like a defense mechanism
from their ego because if they empathize, they need to relate, get in touch with their feelings and feel the pain.

In most cases, developing and cultivating empathy is possible only if the individuals are willing to change how they
relate with others. People who want to change are in for a journey of self-discovery and take important steps to
consciously retrain their brains and alter their behavioral preference. Human’s are fortunate to have a high degree of
brain neuroplasticity, allowing us to create new brain patterns.

However, there are other cases in which lack of empathy is associated to severe disorders such as narcissism, anti-social
personality disorders, and psychopathy. In these cases, these individuals are most helped by seeking advice and
guidance from a professional who specializes in these disorders.

How to Deal with People Who Lack Empathy

I know how difficult it can be to deal with people who lack empathy when you are a sensitive and caring person. When
you try to express your feelings, instead of compassion and understanding, you get anger or judgment back. This can
cause a great deal of stress when you need support the most.

It’s painful because sometimes we can get stuck in a vicious cycle where the more someone doesn’t understand you, the
more you feel hurt, and the more you want them to understand your feelings. It’s almost as if you are pleading for
validation.

Here’s the thing:

Most of the times, talking with these people will lead you nowhere, and will leave you feeling completely
depleted.

Here are some easy-to-follow steps, so you can deal with people who lack empathy:

1. Don’t Take Their Anger or Judgments Personally

By doing this, you can get off the emotional roller coaster. It’s not about you. Remind yourself that they are the ones that
have a problem connecting emotionally with others at a deeper level. There’s nothing wrong with you! This can be
super challenging to not take their actions personally and may take a conscious effort to set aside your initial emotional
reaction.

Sometimes, adopting a mindset of empathy towards that person can really help you rise above your own feelings about
the situation. If you can take comfort in the fact that you are the bigger person, this can help you set aside your
emotions and not take it personally.

2. Don’t Try to Make Them Understand Your Feelings

Trying to instill empathy or insights in them is a waste of your time and energy. This will only increase their anger and
judgement. It will become quite cyclical, as you try to make them understand you and having them react without
empathy.

Trying to force understanding will leave both you and them disappointed, which is counterproductive.

This can be challenging, though important, as you are giving up on expecting empathy from the person.

3. Talk About Facts with Them

Instead of talking to them about how you feel, or how something they did or said made you feel, talk about facts and
what you think. It’s easier to communicate this way because they won’t feel blamed or shamed. This is critical for
keeping lines of communication open.

Lower your expectations of the person. It can be easy to hold the person to the same standard as. you might hold
yourself, but their lack of empathy will continue to leave you feeling disappointed. Setting reasonable expectations on
your interactions with the person will help you manage your emotions when dealing with them.

When speaking facts to the person, try to modulate how you display your emotions. It can be especially challenging, as
you might be going through a difficult time, but try to remain neutral and limit large displays of emotions.

4. If You Don’t Live with This Person, Try to Distance Yourself from Their Company
You don’t have to end the friendship or stop visiting your family member, but you need to set some boundaries and be
mindful of your interaction with them. Keep the connection superficial to avoid arguments and don’t expect depth and
understanding.

If you must keep this person in your life, adjust your expectations of your ongoing relationship. You will need to come to
terms with the idea that you may on have a superficial relationship with this person and that they may not meet the
needs you expected.

It is okay to transition this person from friend to acquaintance. Shared friend groups can create challenges when trying
to limit contact with someone, so making your relationship very light and surface may be the best way to go.

Distancing yourself from family can be more challenging emotionally, depending on your situation. You deserve to have
supportive relationships in your life and that includes family. We often have complicated histories with our family
members, making it challenging to create the distance we need. Be mindful that you deserve nothing but the best from
your relationships, as you navigate limiting contact with relationships that aren’t serving you.

5. Cultivate or Nurture Relationships with People Who You Trust

To fill your emotional cup, it’s. a great idea to spend time with people who you trust and who make you feel safe so that
you can feel comfortable sharing your inner world and your feelings with them. These are people who might have
shown signs of empathy in the past.

These are the relationships that will help you work through the feelings you are experiencing from the challenges you
are having from the person who isn’t showing empathy.

Also, take time to reflect on your experience, as you cultivate new relationships throughout your life. Watch for signs
within your new relationships that the other person is empathetic, so you can prioritize this in your life.

6. Know That Your Value and Worth Does Not Depend on Their Validation and Opinion of
You
While it’s so easy to try and get validation from others, our self-worth should never be based on approval from others.
Your value comes from within you and it doesn’t matter what others think about you. This can take some practice and
might be a skill that requires some practice.

Understanding and connecting with your own value can be challenging. Here’s a step-by-step guide to help you realize
your true value: How to Build Self Esteem (A Guide to Realize Your Hidden Power)

7. Take Loving Actions Towards Yourself

Maintaining self-love is critically important when navigating a relationship where you are dealing with someone who is
lacking empathy.

Offer yourself kindness and practice doing things that reflect self-love – eat healthy, get enough rest, pursue your
dreams, work on yourself, develop a spiritual life, surround yourself with loving and positive people.

To give you more ideas on how to develop and future self-love, here’s a list of 50 Small Things You Can Do Every Day to
Really Love Yourself

8. If You Feel Too Overwhelmed, Get Professional Help

Getting professional help, where possible, is one of the most loving things you can do for yourself.

Find a caring and compassionate therapist or life coach who can be there for you and offer guidance during painful
times. Getting help from a professional is common and more accessible than ever, with both in-person and virtual
options available. Many professionals will communicate over video chat and even text message. While we want to lean
on our personal relationships where possible, unfortunately, our friends and family can’t always provide all of the
emotional support that we need at times.

If the person that you’re dealing with shows a willingness to be more open to change and become more empathetic and
caring, then you have a real opportunity to strengthen your relationship with them.

Final Thoughts
There are many reasons why some people lack empathy. Dealing with these people is not easy and may leave you
feeling frustrated and disappointed. While you navigate these challenging relationships, it’s important to prioritize your
own wellbeing. With my advice, you’ll learn that you can’t change someone, however, you can change your attitude
towards them. Shifting your mindset will be one of your biggest tools in successfully dealing with people who lack
empathy.

Remember that you can’t save everyone, and that while some people are willing to get help, not everyone will and don’t
have control over that. You can love yourself enough to not let people who lack empathy to overpower you. Set
boundaries and do what makes you happy. Ultimately, don’t be afraid to get professional help when you are
overwhelmed.

What Else Do You Want to Improve About Yourself?

Pick what you need most and give yourself a radical upgrade:

Make My Goal Happen

Improve My Focus

Reach My Full Potential

Featured photo credit: Stocksnap via stocksnap.io

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How to Be Happy Again: 13 Ways to Shake off Sadness Now 5 Ways the Silent Treatment Is Really Damaging (And How to
Deal with It)

33 Important Life Lessons to Learn in Life Early Why Some People Have a Lack of Empathy (And How to Deal
with Them)

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