Educator vulnerability, being aware of my emotions

This will probably be the most challenging blog I've ever written, and recorded, but I

must have transparency within this my inquiry and project by share my vulnerability; I need to

be able to truly reflect and be honest with myself for this journal.

I can honestly say this past year has been one of the hardest years both personally and

professionally that I've ever had. I’ve felt extremely vulnerable as a leader, be it having a new

job, proving my ability, or jumping into an acting position of chair.

I.e., shown my vulnerability at work, and at home, and that’s scary. To me vulnerability and

wellbeing come hand in hand. Because being vulnerable shows our emotions and feelings

which are all tied into our well-being. Aguilar (2018, p.40), being vulnerable with staff is being

powerful, if you think you always need to project an image of confidence, competence and

authority, you might be undermining your own leadership.” I wear my heart on my sleeve at

times, I get frustrated, and I show my passion. I can’t always be the vision of happiness.

This year through the journaling process I have been exploring my self, my identity, how

this relates to education leadership and who I am as a leader. Agulair, 2018 (p.42) connects

vulnerability, self-knowledge, and resilience to that of being a superhero, its foundational for

any superhero, we can take a lesson from wonder women’s book and because she knows who

she is. She knows her values and acts in alignment with them. For this to be the year that I

concentrate on my question: How do arts-based journaling and reflective practice support

educator well-being? has come at the most perfect time. What s important to note is due to

focusing on my well-being and exploring how I can support it as an educator, I've actually
looked further than just a Journal and went for a holistic approach to my well-being. So, as well

as a journal, I've been exploring other options, including acupuncture, RMT, therapy,

psychologists, doctor's appointments, medication, and, more recently, sobriety. I suppose I'm

spending so long thinking about my own well-being through journaling, it would be

counterintuitive to ignore all the other aspects of well-being. It's vital that I go deep into my

own well-being and not just concentrate on one area, so I've been sober for the past three

months. It is too early in my journey to make any bold statements, and I'm not ready to share

my reasoning, but I'm already very proud of myself.

Well-being is no one-trick pony; it should be explored in depth. Due to journaling, I felt the

importance of looking after my own well-being further and deeper than ever before. Reflection

of myself has been life-changing, and its movement from an instant feeling of calmness to a

bigger picture and being true to myself. Being an educator leader is my life and formed a large

part of my identity. But I'm more than that, and to be an educator, I must look after my own

well-being first and foremost. It’s important to feel a quality of connected groundedness

because this allows us to be able to respond and adapt to changing conditions with a sense of

resilience and rooted connection. While Agulaiar (2018) connected us to superheros and

superwomen, today I will Aline myself with my superhero power of Vulnerability, my

connection to my values and emotions.

References

Aguilar, E. (2018). The Onward Workbook: Daily Activities to Cultivate Your Emotional

Resilience and Thrive (1st ed.). Jossey-Bass.

Brown, B. (2015). Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the

Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead (Reprint ed.). Avery.