CHAPTER TWO

THE HUNT BEGINS

***

‘BLOCK!’ Totoro shouted as he swung his sword at the young recruit who raised his
shied with a cry of panic. Totoro brought his sword down on the barrier, sending the
young trainee flying.
The young soldier looked up fearfully as Totoro gave an exasperated groan and
stuck his sword into the ground.
‘I told you it would be a challenge,’ Claude, Totoro’s Lieutenant said casually from the
sidelines.
‘A challenge?’ Totoro growled, running a gloved hand through his long brown hair. ‘My,
defeat of Zenba’s nine armies was a challenge. The conquest of Kalakesh was a challenge
… this … this is …’
‘Difficult?’ Claude offered.
‘Impossible!’ Totoro said sternly. ‘I tell you to bring me the best the kingdom has to offer,
Claude. You drag in stable hands and urchins! None of them are fit to serve within the
royal guard.’
‘I brought all there was,’ Claude retorted. ‘No others were available.’
‘Then we shall have to make them available,’ Totoro said with a grin, clasping Claude on
the shoulder as he led the way out of the courtyard towards the portcullis.
‘You will find none more suitable,’ Claude said with a shake of his head. ‘Of that I can
assure you.’
‘Maybe so,’ Totoro nodded as he mounted his steed. ‘But this day is lost and I have not
ventured from the palace in some time. The search will do me good.’
‘You always did love a good hunt,’ Claude laughed as he mounted his own horse.

***

‘I have no idea what I’m doing here,’ Elion frowned as he and Totoro emerged from the
portal into the foyer of Youtube. ‘I never actually said I was on board with all this. I never
agreed to be one of Fink’s Link Hunters.’
‘You have something better to occupy you?’ Totoro smiled wryly.
‘Well,’ Elion grimaced. ‘I could be spending my time watching videos, rather than wasting
it searching the whole internet for other people to benefit from it.’
‘A very selfish sentiment,’ Totoro remarked.
‘So?’ Elion puffed. ‘Last time I looked the world is going to hell. Tell me the last time
somebody went out of the way to do you a favour.’
Totoro said nothing at this; he merely nodded thoughtfully as the ventured fourth
into the cavernous white centre of Youtube. The circular expanse was dominated by a
large central reception area where hundreds of receptionists were busy taking Videos
from the mass number of users lining up to submit their videos. Above them, the site
disappeared further than the eye could see up to the glass ceiling, with hundreds of
floors filled with viewing terminals and libraries spiralling around the edges of the
chamber.
‘I mean,’ Elion continued. ‘Its not that I don’t want to. I think it’s a great idea. One of the
best I’ve heard in a long time.’
‘You fear the work load,’ Totoro cut across him.
‘No,’ Elion shook his head. ‘I’m prepared to put in the effort. I’m just bothered that
nobody’s going to appreciate it. Just like all the people in here that watch Videos without
commenting or thanking the uploaders at all. I can see The Mercury Rooms getting very
full of lechers, very fast.’
Totoro shrugged. ‘A very pessimistic view of the world you have Elion.’
‘Yeah, well,’ Elion shrugged back. ‘I prefer to think of myself as a realist.’
‘So, are you saying you wish to cease our partnership so soon?’ Totoro asked
nonchalantly. ‘Return to aimlessly wandering the Internet after being hand-picked by
three higher-beings to aid them in their quest to bring something glorious to the
Universe?’
Elion blinked for a minute and let a smile creep across his face. ‘Well,’ he said,
folding his arms. ‘When you put it like that, I’d be a real prick to leave now.’
‘Yes,’ Totoro nodded as he strode off towards The Viewing Area. ‘Yes you would.’
Elion held out his hands imploringly. ‘Why did you say that as if I’m already a
prick?’
Totoro looked back over his shoulder and smiled briefly. ‘No reason,’ he chuckled.

***

‘Sometimes I wonder what use we do here,’ Totoro mused as the two of them rode
through Elwynn Forest.
‘We serve and protect the King,’ Claude replied.
‘Ah, therein lies the issue,’ Totoro retorted. ‘Protect him from what exactly? I have
travelled from the Tirisfal Glades to Stranglehorn Vale and never once have I seen
another living soul.’
‘I have seen many people in my travels,’ Claude said surely. ‘Several hundred. The
Eastern Kingdoms are teeming with activity, though most of the inhabitants I have seen
are Shamans, Wizards, Elves, Goblins and Dwarves. All of them interested in their own
business. As I told you, those who would aid us in defending our Kingdom are few and
far between. Most of the Realm’s inhabitants seek The King’s treasures … this is whom
we protect him from Totoro. You know this as it is you who taught it to me.’
‘I trained you up from a knave,’ Totoro remembered fondly. ‘But after all these years. I
wonder what point there is in carrying on here.’
‘How so?’
‘Tell me, Claude. We take our orders from the King’s advisors. Sometimes even letters
from the King himself. But in all that time. Have you ever once seen the King himself?’
‘We are the Royal guard,’ Claude frowned. ‘We have no need to enter the King’s Quarters.
There are no windows there, he is perfectly safe.’
‘You did not answer my question. Have you ever seen him? A glimmer, a fleeting glance
as he moves about the Palace?’
‘Surely, I must have at one point,’ Claude retorted.
‘I have been within his service for twenty-two years, since I was a boy,’ Totoro clucked.
‘Never once have I seen his Majesty in person. There are times when I doubt he exists at
all.’
Claude pulled on his reigns and brought his horse to a halt in the middle of the
path. ‘What are you talking about Totoro?’
‘I am saying,’ Totoro growled. ‘That maybe … maybe there is no King at all.’
‘WHAT?!’
‘Think about the facts, Claude,’ Totoro snapped. ‘We have never seen him in person. We
receive word of his existence in the form of letters, possible forgeries. Our duty is to
protect a treasure within the depths of the Palace that we have never set eyes upon. I do
not even know what that treasure is … you?’
‘It is the King’s business,’ Claude said defiantly.
‘Yes, but what treasure though? Gold? Precious stones? A mystical object? All of the
above?’
‘… I …’ Claude spluttered. ‘ … It’s …’
‘Exactly,’ Totoro said conclusively, piercing the air with a gloved hand. ‘You cannot
answer me for there is no answer for you to provide. We are merely pawns being deceived
Claude. We are blind subjects to the whim of a malevolent controller beyond our
knowledge and control. There must be more to life. More than servitude to a cause I no
longer believe in … I have decided.’
‘Totoro you are making no sense,’ Claude said. ‘Your mind is addled, clearly you have
over-exerted yourself.’
‘I think not,’ Totoro said, shaking his head. ‘My eyes have been opened Claude. There is
more beyond our borders … there is more outside this World of Warcraft.’

***

‘See, this is why I hate this place,’ Elion humphed as their Terminal screen displayed
several Videos that were – if they were being fair – about essentially nothing. If they were
unkind, the Videos were a symbol that far too many people were wasting far too much of
their lives and would die with their bland and empty existences unfulfilled.
“Today in History Class,” a spotty teenager said, looking glassy-eyed into her webcam
“Uhm … Mister Davison was talkin’ about how … Columbus saved us from the Nazis in the
Civil War and Allie was all like “How d’yall spell Civil?” And I was all like “Ohmygod, how
d’you not know how to spell Civil?” and she was all like …”
‘Turn it off, for god sake,’ Elion snapped, reaching over Totoro’s shoulder to hit the Pause
button.
‘I must say,’ Totoro said, blinking rapidly. ‘Until now I did not truly understand the
meaning of “Trivial”.’
‘We’re wasting our time here,’ Elion grunted, standing up straight and rubbing his eyes.
‘All the Videos here are like this.’
‘I beg to differ,’ Totoro said with a wry smile. ‘Krizzo was kind enough to inform me that
Youtube is one of the five great depositories of Videos.’
‘Five great depositories?’ Elion raised an eyebrow disbelievingly.
‘Apparently,’ Totoro said, folding his arms and leaning back in his chair. ‘At one time,
there were absolutely no Videos in the Universe.’
‘Of course there was,’ Elion scoffed. ‘Back before they invented the Internet.’
‘I’m talking about the whole Universe Elion,’ Totoro replied. ‘There are billions of
civilisations, hundreds of billions. To think other wise is to be naive beyond belief. There
have been Videos since the dawn of the Universe.’
‘Get outa here!’ Elion laughed.
‘It is true,’ Totoro said, holding up his hands. ‘I have seen and heard many things on my
travels. Some that are unbelievable, but for each I have seen undisputable proof,
otherwise I would not believe the stories. I went for too long wandering in the darkness of
ignorance, now I am a voyager in fact.’
‘Is that so?’ Elion mused.
‘Indeed it is,’ Totoro said as he began typing. ‘As I was saying, there was a time when
Videos did not exist anywhere. They were snatched out of existence and sealed away at
the beginning of time.’
‘Now you’re talking rubbish,’ Elion snorted. ‘Why would anybody do that?’
‘The motive has never concerned me much,’ Totoro said simply. ‘The plan, whoever was
behind it, was clearly thwarted; otherwise we would not be here today.’
‘Good point,’ Elion nodded, still not really believing the story and secretly wondering if
Totoro’s friends and family – should he have any – had ever considered having him
sectioned.
‘So,’ Totoro continued. ‘When the Videos finally reappeared, they had to go somewhere.
Since many of the places from which they had been taken no longer existed, such as
smaller sites, individual collections and so fourth, only the larger conglomerates that
deal in personal use were able to remain intact. So, the Videos ended up in these places.
Youtube, Veoh, Dailymotion, Megavideo and Toudou.’
‘Toudou?’ Elion frowned. ‘You could spend an age and a half waiting for things to load
there … same with Megavideo.’
‘True, but this is the way of things …’ Totoro shrugged as the screen filled with a large
selection of Video choices. ‘You just have to know where to look.’ The older man smiled
as he pushed his chair back from the terminal and allowed Elion to get a closer look at
what the Search had recovered.
‘This …’ Elion spluttered disbelievingly. ‘… This is … Anime … hundreds of Episodes of
Anime.’
‘I told you,’ Totoro smiled. ‘One simply has to know where to look.’
‘This is incredible,’ Elion puffed. ‘I mean, I’ve found loads of stuff at Veoh and
Dailymotion, but never anything like this … these are … there’s full seasons here!’
‘Beginners luck,’ Totoro grinned as he highlighted all of the Videos and clicked the option
to save the links.
Instantly, hundreds of the miniature cubes zoomed out of the libraries high above
their heads and swooped down through the central column of Youtube into the deposit
tray at the side of Totoro’s terminal.
The bald warrior turned to Elion and grinned broadly. ‘Now, I’d say that was a
day’s work well accomplished.’

***

‘So, where will you go?’ Claude asked as Totoro packed his saddlebags with supplies.
‘I have not yet decided,’ Totoro shrugged. ‘An elf told me of a land beyond ours. A world of
mystery and wonders called Internet. I shall make it my quest to seek out every corner of
its lands and learn all there is to know there.’
‘So serious are you to leave this place behind you?’ Claude said.
‘Utterly determined,’ Totoro said sternly.
‘The King will send people after you Totoro,’ Claude warned. ‘You know what becomes of
traitors to the crown.’
‘I fear nothing from a man who does not exist,’ Totoro shot at Claude.
‘Even if that is true, then those who make his decisions for him shall send men to find
you.’
‘Let them try,’ Totoro laughed. ‘I have trained all the men in the Royal Guard. I taught
them everything they know … but not everything that I know. I bid you fare well my
friend.’
‘And I you Totoro,’ Claude sighed. ‘Though I still believe you are making a mistake. You
are chasing a fantasy.’
‘If that is true,’ Totoro smiled. ‘Then you will have the pleasure of accepting a fool’s
apology very shortly.’
Totoro gave Claude an acknowledging nod before galloping off towards the
mountains, to the places the elves had spoken of, the portal of Exit.
‘I do hope not,’ Claude said quietly to himself.

***

‘So … we … just … throw them in here?’ Elion asked unsurely.

‘CORRECT,’ Fink’s voice boomed in response.
Elion and Totoro stood in the doorway of a building at the far end of The Mercury
Room’s main courtyard – which Fink and the others referred to as the “Index Section”.
The building stood on its own at the very end of The Index Section, it was an angular
building with many spires and decorative architecture, all in the dark grey and gold motif
that was The Mercury Room standard.
Beyond the doorway, the singular room within the building contained only one
thing, a great Black Hole. The singularity was confined within a circular expanse planted
in the centre of the room, swirling slowly but unable to pull its surroundings into itself.
There was technology here far in advance of anything on Earth.
‘What use is that?’ Elion frowned. ‘Black Holes just eat up matter and destroy
everything.’
‘THIS IS NO NORMAL SPATIAL ANOMALY,’ Fink replied. ‘IT IS CONNECTED TO THE
LIBRARIES OF THE MERCURY ROOMS. THE INTERNAL MECHANISMS HERE
ENSURE THAT THE LINKS THAT ARE SUBMITTED ARE WORKING BEFORE THEY
ARE SORTED INTO ORDER AND DISTRIBUTED TO THEIR INDIVIDUAL ROOMS
WITHIN THE NEW LINKS SECTION OF ALLUC.’
‘So, its like a giant sorting machine for the links we’re bringing in?’ Elion asked.
‘IN A SENSE,’ Fink replied. ‘THOUGH IT IS FAR MORE COMPLICATED THAN A
SIMPLE SORTING MACHINE, AS YOU PUT IT.’
 Elion and Totoro exchanged looks before simultaneously shrugging and throwing
the armfuls of links they carried into the vortex.
‘Elion status upgraded. New Title … Link Scout,’ a computerized voice echoed around
them.
‘What was that?’ Elion asked, looking around.
‘Totoro status upgraded,’ the voice came again. ‘New Title … Link Scout.’
‘THAT IS THE COMPUTER CONTROLLING THE BLACK HOLE,’ Fink replied. ‘A
TEMPORARY SYSTEM THAT WE HAVE INSTALLED UNTIL WE CAN FULLY
TRANSPORT INTO YOUR DIMENSION. WE DECIDED TO UPGRADE THE STATUS OF
OUR LINK HUNTERS TO REWARD THEM FOR THEIR WORK.’
‘And what is the highest level that you can get to?’ Elion questioned.
‘LINK GOD,’ Fink said grandiosely.
Elion turned to Totoro. ‘I bet I become a Link God before you.’
‘I’ll take that bet,’ Totoro grinned widely as the pair of them raced out into the Index
towards the Exit Portal.