Captain America, Black Widow, Wonder Woman, Batman; what do these heroes and

vigilantes have in common? Yes, they all kick ass and have a purpose to protect the greater good,

but ever wonder how they came to be the way they are? Every one of us is shaped by the good

times and the bad. Each event has an impact on how our futures are shaped. In the case of the

everyday person, we are influenced by a variety of things: marriage, graduation, birth of a child,

death of a loved one, loss of a job- they all shape how we handle situations in the future.

My life feels like a roller coaster without a broken emergency stop button. Some of these

turns are positive/happy ones and there are others that feel like a dark hole. The first significant

experience, at least the one that I can remember happened when I was seven years old. This was

a time of my life where I was still vulnerable to the effects of the world. This event is something

that most kids believe can’t happen to them. My parents always seemed happy; you wouldn’t

think that something was wrong. Then again, what seven-year-old would? Next thing I know,

during one of my weekly therapy appointments (I was an angry child) my parents were in the

room. I vaguely remember the therapist saying, “I want you to remember, none of this is your

fault”. Then they come right out and say it, at least in a way that I could understand; they were

getting divorced. Next thing I remember is crying hysterically as my dad walked out of the

house. I was filled with so much hate and anger, I didn’t know where to place it. I remember my

anger to be terrifying, not only for me but for my family too. This wasn’t all bad news though, I

got to see my dad more than I ever did. He worked so much, never home on weekends, always

working late during the week. My mom at times would refer to him as the phantom father (she

“made sure” I wasn’t around when saying it). I guess his priorities needed to change because of

his actions. My relationship with my father changed in a way that I always wanted, just to have

one with him. I saw him three days a week. We created so many memories from that point on.
He was the reason I developed a love for running a business and why I have a career in coffee,

mainly Starbucks. A relationship with my father wasn’t the only good outcome, it brought

someone new into my life. Someone that would grow to love me as his own flesh and blood,

someone that had a big hand in who I am.

Three years after their divorce, my mother met someone that would change our lives for

the better. This man would eventually become my stepfather, or as I refer to him, my father. It

wasn’t an easy road, accepting him in my mom’s life, accepting him as a parent figure. I still had

pent up anger and there were times he was the target of my rage. He still stuck around and never

gave up on me. All three of them got me the help that I needed when it came to my anger. It got

to a point that I started to really scare myself. My rage would blind me, figurately and literally. I

had no awareness of where I was, what was going on and who was around me. After a couple of

years of therapy alone, with my parents, with my stepfather, and even all of us, I was able to

come to the realization that there was more to me than I realized. With all my parents love and

support, I was able to finally come to terms with my sexuality and being gay.

Coming out was the scariest thing I did. Deep down I knew that I felt different. I came

out to my therapist first and she helped me find a way to tell my parents. When I did tell them,

well my mother first, her reaction shocked me to my core. She said, “tell me something I don’t

know. Nothing is going to change. I knew way before you did and was just waiting for you to

accept it yourself. You’re my son, I love you for the person you are and the man you are

becoming”. Realizing that my anger was bigger than the divorce, it was my struggle to accept

that I was different and that there is nothing wrong with it. Going through all this from an early

age on taught me that love is limitless. People come into our lives for a reason and my stepfather

came into my life to guide me towards acceptance.

 Fast forward a good handful of years and we get to the next season of my life. This is

where I make a move that would establish my independence and really push myself into

adulthood. I made the decision to move from my comfortable world in Long Island, NY, to

Orlando, FL. I was finally able to take what I call, my first steps. Everything I did was about me

and building my future. I found myself working in Orlando International Airport in my second

Starbucks store, the first being at Target. My career would finally start to take shape as Starbucks

was always a fascination of mine. I hit the first major milestone of my professional life, working

in leadership in Starbucks. A dream of mine was finally coming true. I was getting to share my

passion for coffee and Starbucks with others.

Let’s skip ahead two years to a turning point in my Starbucks career. While working in

the airport led to some amazing relationships and lots of new experience, I was craving

something more. Maybe I should set the scene a bit. At the time, I lived about 5 minutes from

Universal Studios. There was a new on-site hotel being built and I heard that there was going to

be a Starbucks inside. There was a grand hiring event coming up shortly and upon looking at the

open positions, I noticed three postings for Starbucks Supervisor. I applied, attended grand hire,

and was hired on as an external food and beverage supervisor placed in Starbucks. This was the

first Starbucks inside of a Loews Hotel property, so no one had the knowledge or experience that

I brought to the table. Two months after grand hire, we opened the largest on-site hotel at 1,800

rooms. I ran that department, attended meetings that were mostly for department heads, was

allowed to hire, train, promote others as I saw fit. I was really living my dream now. A year into

that, Loews moves forward with their second Starbucks on campus but this time in the already

existing Loews Portofino Bay Hotel. My F&B Director along with the Starbucks District

Manager send me on what they call “Task Force”, to train and open that outlet. This was also
where I met the man that would become my husband seven years later. This was eventually the

person that would experience amazing moments with me, but also share in some dark times too.

Two years in, I was starting to feel stagnant. This was a budget hotel so there were no positions

above mine for where I was. It was the F&B Supervisors and then the Director of Outlets. I make

a bold move and decide to close my then six years run with Starbucks and open the next on-site

hotel. This was a scary move for me because I was now an F&B Supervisor in a three-meal

restaurant (Breakfast, lunch, and dinner). This was new territory for me. Those of us that are

transferring from other properties were moved a month and half before opening to assist with

setting up and hiring. Three days in, my life changes forever.

My father’s health had been declining for quite a few years at this point. I’d fly up as

often as I could to spend time with him and just be there. Don’t get me wrong, he was still at a

point where he was able to care for himself but mentally was struggling to find the motivation to

do so. The last couple of times he asked me to come up, I simply couldn’t. Between school and

work, I didn’t have the time to fly back up to NY. It was the middle of the night, and my mom

calls me. The second my phone started to ring and seeing her name on the caller ID, my heart

sank, and I felt like I was going to pass out. I haven’t even answered the phone yet. It was the

phone call that I was terrified of receiving. June 25th, 2016, at 2:35am my dad passed away. My

whole world was falling from beneath me. Typing that sentence out, still makes me feel sick to

my stomach. This was a day that I knew was coming but wasn’t ready to accept. Nothing was as

hard as losing a parent, not the divorce, not moving out; knowing that he wasn’t there anymore

was more terrifying than anything else. He is the reason I have such a passion for running a

business, serving my community and my passion for Starbucks. It is all because of him. He

taught me the importance of listening to those that report to me, they are the soul of any
organization I chose to be with. Everything I do now, I must find the connection between why I

want to go down a path and my father.

I am who I am because of the things I have been through. I refuse to be someone else or

must put my values aside to meet the needs of others. My parents’ divorce taught me that it’s

okay for adults to go down separate paths. There is a reason for everything that happens. My

parent’s fulfilled their destiny together and that was to bring myself and my little brother into the

world so we can do amazing things. I learned that having a stepfather meant having another

father in my life. It meant that there was someone else to help raise me, to guide me, to also force

my mother to cut the strings and let me live my life. It meant embracing an extended family to

share new experiences with and to also be there when my dad passed away. Losing my father

forced me to live to my fullest potential every single day, to not accept things as they are if I am

not happy. It means having a guardian angel watching over me and being closer to my father

than I ever was. My story isn’t complete by a long shot, it will be one that gets written as the

days go on. I can’t wait to see what the future has in store for me.