Rapid Eye Monuments - Choir Korneli Leviyey

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PREFACE
Though I have always paid close attention to my dreams, it wasn’t
until 2012 that I developed the discipline required to begin docu-
menting my dreams on a daily basis—a practice which I regard as
one of the most rewarding practices of my lifetime, allowing me to
put my sleeping hours to productive use and begin each day with a
sense of accomplishment. Most importantly, I have learned so much
about myself through careful inspection of these dreams and their
symbolic patterns and I recommend this practice to everyone I meet.
I kept at it regularly for several years until various injuries involv-
ing my throat and hands made it increasingly difficult for me to
document my dreams with ease.
The text that follows was transcribed in most instances from audio
recordings logged in my handheld voice recorder amid varying
states of awareness. The presentation is therefore raw and disorga-
nized in light of my standard. My intent was to one day polish it up
and make it more presentable for a public audience, however, the
aforementioned injuries made it very difficult for me to do as much
and almost kept me from releasing my journals altogether, since I
feel that it presents a very confused take on what is otherwise a col-
orful collection of visions—many of which are dear to my heart. In
the end I decided that it is better to publicize the text as is then for
years of earnest and loving documentation to be lost forever.
It was once my goal to not only release my dreams in physical edi-

tions, but to release one such dream journal per year for the rest of
my remaining lifetime. Each book was to be richly illustrated, while
the front cover would feature a vibrant collage of all the most no-
table dreams and symbols from within a given year. I had also in-
tended to package each book with a limited edition CD containing
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RAPID EYE MONUMENTS 3
all of the various somnambulisms that I had managed to capture

on my voice recorder along the way—always a laugh. It is unfortu-
nate that I will not be able to fulfill this fantasy, but may it leave
my readers with the necessary inspiration to begin their own excur-
sion into the dreamworld.
Oh, and since the following text is transcribed from audio that is
recorded immediately upon waking—and typically amid a groggy
state—you may sometimes come upon little patches of incoherent
nonsense having nothing to do with the dream in question. These
are the product of drifting off and experiencing hypnagogic confu-
sion amid my recount, and I find them far too funny to exclude from
my transcription. All such instances of delirium and nonsense will
be preceded by a bullet (•).
4 CHOIR KORNELI LEVIYEY
“THE BOWLS”
08/18/2012
I was walking through a strange dystopian field. The skies were
brown and beneath me was an endless blanket of cement in
which bowl-like recesses appeared every few feet. I walked with
caution so as to not lose my footing, although it did me no good
to be so careful, and I ended up falling anyway, possibly being
pushed from behind. I fell face-first upon the ground, with my
face digging down into the soft cement.
Once I finally managed to pull myself out of the mess and lift my
head, I was shoved or kicked yet again by an unknown assailant
and had my face forced into the cement a second time. I strug-
gled to breathe and remained stuck for several minutes.
As I lifted my face a second time, I was trampled by what must

have been a procession of persons who stomped carelessly and
perhaps even spitefully upon my head. I nearly suffocated, un-
able to pull myself out for what seemed like the longest time.
The bones of my face felt sore or broken and I nearly suffocated.

Yet as I pulled my head back I saw that all of that stomping had
created an impression in the ground, appearing like the interior
of a mask: a highly detailed replica of my face. It was beautiful
to me. I took my hand and I ran my fingers through the grooves,
amazed by how lifelike it appeared. The imprint was wholly gray,
as was to be expected, except for one curious detail: a black bar
code in the forehead area. I didn’t understand how it got there,
but I assumed it to be a mark of completion.
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I was overwhelmed with emotion as I surveyed the landscape, fi-

nally understanding the cause of all these bowls in the ground.
However, most such bowls lacked well-defined features. The only
reason my own has become so well-defined was because of all of
the times that I had been kicked and shoved to the ground, and
I instantly understood what this was suggesting about the nature
of my suffering and how it related to my individuation.
“FLESH GRATE”
08/24/2012
I was walking through a large funhouse, having consciously bro-
ken off from a larger tour group. I went walking off alone at my
own pace, room after room, looking around at everything as I
pleased. I was not enjoying myself. Actually, I felt disturbed by
it all, especially by the realization that everyone else found this
pleasant. I could hear the others laughing from the other rooms.
Eventually I came to a doorway, where the doorway itself was

over a grate in the floor. While approaching the door I heard my
name being called, and I looked down to see arms reaching up at
me from below. There were several people beneath the grate and
they were acting playful and flirtatious, not trying to get out of
where they were but trying to entice me so that I would come in-
to the floor with them. I stared at them blankly for several min-
utes while they continued to call "Oh, come on! Come on!" For
whatever reason it took me a while to notice that these people
beneath me were entirely nude. It was essentially some sort of or-
gy taking place, and they were all crammed in this tight space in
some horrid, writhing mass of dancing flesh.
I hesitated, thinking, "I know I'm supposed to want this. I know

I'm supposed to like this. But this disturbs me." Nonetheless, I
stood there motionless as they continued to call, and there was
part of me that wondered if I would eventually find something
agreeable about the situation were I to continue stalling. It was a
“funhouse”, after all. It’s as if I wanted to like it.
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There was no one else around, and I never did end up seeing
the tour group again after splitting from them earlier. So I spent
most of the dream wandering around alone.
Then from behind me I sensed the presence of Florentin, who

had just entered the room. He made his way toward me with a
hop in his step, which was very unlike him, though his face was
as expressionless as one would expect. He paid no attention to
me, said no greeting, but when he got to the doorway where I
stood, he paused for a moment—long enough to look down and
see all of the hands reaching up in silence as they beckoned to-
ward us. He let out a brief and humorous "Huh!" before leaping
over the grate and continuing on into the next room. I looked at
him and then down at the grate and shrugged to myself before
following him into the room.
In the next room it was only the two of us, and we walked in and
it was much like a large factory room. The ceilings were so high,
the walls were so white, and at the four corners of the room there
were four platforms. We were awestruck by the sight. I remember
thinking "It is so bright in here!” And this was more in line with
what I had hoped to find when being told that I was going to a
‘funhouse’. The both of us immediately and intuitively took off
to complete our separate tasks around the room. He began run-
ning around to each wall of the room installing switches and but-
tons on the ground floor and then flipping and pushing them.
Somehow I had been storing yards of rope and a ladder in a back-
pack or something of mine, and so I set the ladder against one
of the four square platforms and climbed to the crest. Once at
the crest I began stringing the rope between all of the platforms,
forming a bridge for ease of accessibility.
Once Florentin completed his task on the ground floor he

climbed the ladder to the next level, utilizing my bridge as he ran
from platform to platform to install more switches and buttons
on this second story wall-level. Our progress kept going higher
and higher toward the top. I would raise a ladder, climb atop, cre-
ate more bridges, and he would use these things to throw more
switches on the wall and turn them on.
By the time I had woken up from the dream we had been suc-
cessful in adding maybe seven or eight stories to this room. No
one else ever joined us or even stepped foot in this room, and
each time I would hear someone out in the previous room and
think that someone would help out or partake in our efforts they
would end up getting snared by the people in the grate and I
found that very distressing.
“SKY TOWN”
09/04/2012
I was on my way to stay with my sister in some strange complex
within the sky, where she was currently residing. It is worth not-
ing that she moved out of our house only days before I had this
dream.
After crossing a long and narrow bridge, one would be standing

in a large, glass dome.
I was sitting in a study filled with many bookshelves and plants,

and one of the walls was entirely covered with windows so that it
was evident I was in the sky. I sat at the far end of a long confer-
ence table when an ex-girlfriend came to meet me, and it both-
ered her to see me acting strangely and indifferently, spinning in
circles atop my office chair, performing odd tricks and shouting
lectures and aphorisms.
I took the bridge and got off at the kitchen. It was such a dark
and strange room—a kitchen only by means of its utility. The
room was sloped, sloping downward into a door leading to a
closed corridor. I was conversing with my sister by the refriger-
ator. She was reaching for a pitcher of tea as she suddenly be-
came embarrassed, drawing my attention to pornographic pho-
tographs hung on the side of the refrigerator. "Oh, I realize you
do not like this,” she said while removing the photographs, fold-
ing them into squares and tucking them out of sight.
She was now preparing to leave the sky complex as her lease was
up. Taking her place would be my childhood friend Daniel who,
upon seeing me, invited me to stick around as his guest and this
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allowed me to stay a bit longer in this place. Daniel, for whatever

the reason, was apparently struggling with some sexual paraphil-
ia (although I should note that this is not reflected in the Daniel
that I knew in real life) and in the late hours of night I would
find him standing in the kitchen, arm in arm with a woman, and
he would say his goodbyes to me before walking off into the for-
bidden dormitory and leaving me alone to the library overnight.
At one point I left the dome, walked down the sidewalk and
passed by empty storefronts and homeless people who were laid
out all over the street. I was hearing what sounded like loud,
bird-like noises resonating from the sky, and it was so loud and
ubiquitous as to disturb me. After putting up with it for several
minutes, I yelled out to the drifters, asking "Doesn't anyone hear
that bird!?" And it was then, within my dream, that I took a sin-
gle breath, and then another, realizing that the screech was syn-
chronized with my breathing. In my physical, waking body there
existed a wheeze, and I was so fearful of what this meant that I
woke half from my dream. The caw still in my lungs, I clenched
my eyes and by some miracle I managed to retain the dream,
falling back into sleep and without it affecting my dream in any
noticeable way.
It was now the time when Daniel would leave the complex and
another person would live here in his place. I was familiar with
the incoming tenant as well, yet they did not invite me to stay
in the same way the previous two tenants had. My father arrived
for me at dinner time, having come to take me home, though I
would not go. Rather, I took off down a corridor in the main
antechamber and hid myself within a sarcophagus-shaped hole
within the floor all through the night until it was clear that my
father had gone.
After coming out of hiding I ran through the kitchen and

through the door into the corridor in which I was not allowed
admittance (since it was not yet evening). Then, after crossing
through a second foyer I walked up the small staircase, coming to
a hallway, where to the left I looked and did see an open door. I
called out, careful not to be too loud, and out came the girl who
I had met with previously, and she peeked out only as far as was
required to wave me away, saying "No, go back! You are not sup-
posed to be here! My father has just woken up and is preparing
for work and must not see that a stranger has entered these quar-
ters.”
With stress in her expression, she pointed toward the men's dor-
mitory located at the other end of the hallway. It was maybe five
or six doors down from where she and her friends had been stay-
ing, and when I opened the door I found who else but Daniel,
Florentin and another young man sitting dazed upon the floor
in what was a dark, dank cell. Their heads rotated all about as if
they were delirious or insane, and when I failed to get anything
out of them I walked down the hall to the nearby bathroom in
which I washed my hands. A middle-aged man entered the room
as I was standing at the sink and settled at the sink beside me. I
was anxious in his presence, believing him to be the father who
I had been warned about, and I left the room quickly so that he
wouldn't engage me, but I realized afterwards that I had left the
faucet running at full force. Paying no attention to this detail,
I went down the hall into another bathroom next door to the
girl's dormitory so that I could finish cleaning my hands, which
seemed somehow essential to me. Once more I did see the father
walking about and I was careful to move quietly so that he would
not notice me, although in doing so I once again forgot to shut
off the faucet.
As I made my way back to the men's dormitory in a quiet haste,

I could hear the voice of the girl’s father calling out to me from
behind, since I had incidentally crossed his path. He asked a sim-
ple and non-threatening question of me that I cannot remem-
ber, and I hesitated to turn around and face him. Afraid that I
would appear suspicious by not facing him, I turned around and
answered his question. I answered congenially with a smile on
my face and he smiled similarly and extended his hand, acknowl-
edging that I was an unfamiliar face. "I'm not sure we've been in-
troduced,” he said. I fumbled around while wondering what to
introduce myself as, since I was trying to blend in to the best of
my abilities, and I ended up going with Kornelius, before quickly
switching to Kori in the belief that I should make this as simple
as possible. He shook my hand for a very long time. His grip was
firm and he would not let go. With a twisted and cynical smirk
on his face he spoke to me, "Well, Kori, the appropriate arrange-
ments have been made and the authorities will be here to remove
you shortly as you are an unwelcome intruder." The tone then
grew anxious and I struggled with how to act. His feigned con-
geniality now seemed frightening.
I worked up the nerve, I looked him in his eyes and said "I'm
sure it is difficult to accept that before you were even born into
this world there were those who were already well-adjusted or
becoming yet familiar with this life around them." I could see
the very muscular structure of his face beginning to change, with
nervous eyes and hard swallows. He seemed as though he was
genuinely convicted by what I was saying, having understood the
point that I was making, which was basically that ‘just because he
does not know something or someone, it doesn't make him supe-
rior or senior to them’. He did not previously consider the idea
that I had been here long before him.
All of the doors in the hallway then opened and dozens of people
assembled in the halls and began to chant while laying their
hands on one another (like one finds in a church). Since I was a
stranger, no one seemed willing to lay their hands on me. I began
rationalizing it within my mind, "Well, I guess that's good that
they won’t. I don't want them to touch me; I don't want to wor-
ry that they will touch my neck." However, there did eventual-
ly come two women who were willing to look past my outsider
status and laid their hands upon my shoulder and my back while
everyone bowled their heads in this solemn moment.
I too went to bow my head, but the moment was interrupted by

a cacophonous noise unlike anything I've heard in my life. It was
like everyone present began to sing in a style similar to my own
style of singing. I looked at them while they stared up into the
air, the room reverberating with the tremulant noise. It was over-
whelming—as if some spirit had possessed each and every one
of them simultaneously—and it was a noise so frightening that I
thought to myself "Is this how I once sounded?" I wanted so bad-
ly to join in, but I knew I could not with my throat being in such
damaged shape.
As the vocalizations stopped they all collapsed upon the floor as

if the spirit that had once possessed them left suddenly. They did
not seem unconscious, but lacking all vigor. Not able to accept
the silence, I opened my mouth and I bellowed out in a loud,
(nonverbal) goat-like warble similar to what had come out of
the others. I twisted and I waltzed among them like their bod-
ies were dead. They looked up with tired eyes at me, seeming sur-
prised.
They couldn’t understand how I sang since, in their case, their

voices came from some spirit which had temporarily inhabited
the room, although that spirit had since gone, leaving them mute
and unable to stand. So they could not understand how I was
able to achieve this even now. Afterwards I leaned against the
wall in silence, staring back and forth at the people around me.
I recall turning to the wall to my immediate right when I saw a
large mirror, and when first I looked into the mirror I was given a
strange sensation that something I was seeing within this reflec-
tion did not actually exist outside of the mirror itself.
There were many others in the room with me. The white people
were always standing, whereas the black people were always sit-
ting or reclining—some on the floor and some on the couch. I
then noticed a small black child within the mirror sitting in a re-
cliner with a lit cigarette in his mouth. I then said to the man on
the floor, "See, this child smoking a cigarette on the chair... he is
not present." He pointed me to him in the room and said, “Yes,
he is there, only his cigarette is not being smoked by fire." Then I
turned around, noticing his presence for the first time within the
room, and the child smoked a cigarette which was surely burning
but not with an orange tip as one would expect to find on a lit
cigarette, and I had seen an orange tip in the mirror’s reflection.
“THE DROWNING”
09/13/2012
I was walking through a courtyard with one or two people at
a time, and since I had arrived here only recently everyone was
making sure I knew that I was to get my water from the shallow
end of the ocean when going to fetch my drinking water, and
they instructed me on the idea of drowning as if it were a foreign
concept (though indeed it was), saying "In the deep water you
mustn’t sink. You will be unable to breathe, you will be unable to
see much with your eyes open. And even if you can see anything
it will all be distorted and gray and ruinous...” and I think that
they had more to say but I am not sure. I told them "If I should
ever fall in, please help me out!” and they agreed. Later on I went
walking by the water body, and though I was under the impres-
sion that I was standing on the shallow end, I ended breaking
through and falling through a shaft where it did not matter that
I was on the appropriate end, and I instantly saw myself plum-
meting into the deep while the light from the surface was becom-
ing further and further. Since the concept of ‘swimming’ did not
seem to exist within this dream, I recognized that I was drown-
ing.
Suddenly I thought to myself, ‘...b I can breathe under here! And

not only can I breathe, but my breathing is better than ever!’ And
then I thought ‘I can see! And not only can I see, but with clearer
acuity than ever! And all is a beautiful blue, and all things within
my environment are brilliantly defined.’
Just then a hand came reaching toward me from above the sur-
face. I’m really not sure how they managed to reach me, though.
And despite the delay in reaching me, they still managed to keep
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their word and help me. But I was not wanting to leave the
ocean, and I pushed their hands away, letting them know that I
did not need saving. They seemed to understand, as their hands
disappeared and I continued to plummet into the deepest depths
where I eventually drowned.
Later on I was somehow back in the courtyard, now acting dif-

ferently than before. The whole tone of the place seemed differ-
ent this time around. There was a girl seen sitting on the outskirts
of the courtyard, as still as a statue, and we were told not to move
those who were frozen. It was a rule. And I can remember mov-
ing her by her joints even in her sitting position when no one else
was looking, and I moved around her arms, and I believe I gave
her a percussive instrument and then I ran away after wrapping
her frozen hands around the instrument. I also had an extra cof-
fee of mine that I found in the refrigerator and I placed it by her
side.
When I returned later in the day everyone was scowling at me

and lashing out at me, saying, “Look what you've done! There are
laws in place for a reason!" And I looked to see the girl still sit-
ting in her position at the edge of the yard, but she was laughing
gladly with her face lifted up toward the sky and she made rhyth-
mic noises with the percussive instrument (it was admittedly a
bit creepy, although I understand that this was actually a good
thing). They told me they must now restart all of time to correct
this mistake of mine, and I was accused of what they called ‘ki-
netic crimes’ and sorcery.
After the riot had died down, the crowd returned to their own
areas of grass in the yard where they sat still and silent until I left
(I think I left once more to the kitchen to fix a problem with the
refrigerator and then to serve as a waitperson to certain visitors).
At some point I also recall walking through a large and majestic

house alongside the owner and every time I looked at them I
wondered to myself "Why are they not happier in this house
than they are? Why do they not appreciate such spacious living?
Why do they seem so bored and tired and unhappy?"
“SOCIAL PESTILENCE”
09/16/2012
I was standing in the yard of my childhood home in New Jer-
sey—a yard which bordered a lively highway. I was sitting on the
grass when I noticed two young women in plain clothing walk-
ing along the roadway on the other side of the fence. Thinking
that they might be people with whom I could strike up con-
versation, I quickly searched around the area for my newsboy
cap so that I could greet them appropriately and not fear that
they would identify me by my hair. Having overturned all of
my possessions I did finally find my hat and run over to the
corner of the fenced-in yard where they were passing by. Some-
thing, though, was different now from before, as their clothes
had become neon (green, yellow and pink) and they were satu-
rated in sweat. Just as I was running over I could overhear one of
them coughing and complaining—the other joining in only to
say vehemently "Damn hepatitis." And then the other respond-
ed with, "Damn syphilis! Damn, damn, damn." I halted my step
and stared blankly. Two men then came from a neighboring yard
to meet them, one of them saying "I hear you!" and they walked
away together, occasionally vomiting on the roadway.
I sighed and walked down to the gate at the other side of my

yard and went walking down the sidewalk when suddenly a shut-
tle bus came by with blaring speakers, announcing itself loudly
as the only vehicle that could transport people to such and such
Amusement Park, and several people from my neighborhood
were obliging and hopping onto the bus. I walked over to the
door myself and raised my voice over the commotion to ask the
driver "Isn't this amusement park a twenty-hour distance from
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here?" "Yes sir, it is!" "Does this make sense?" "It's very conve-
nient. Now anyone who wants to go can go without having to
drive all that way. These shuttle buses can now be found through-
out the whole country!" When he saw I was not boarding he
tried to coerce me and I walked away back down the street to my
house.
Now, my house looked normal from the outside, but upon walk-
ing through its entrance I was suddenly up on a story higher than
should have been possible, and not only that, but the floor it-
self was missing and all that was left was narrow wooden beams
placed at random but in just the right positions so that one could
walk from one end of the house to the other (basically the house
frame). Looking down I could see the first floor rooms and base-
ment of the house as there was no floor separating the beams
from the lower level. I can remember the walls in this upper story
being light blue, and if one could walk cleanly from one end
to the other then there was another door at the top which one
could access. Puzzled as to its meaning, I began to walk from
beam to beam while my mother walked by from the doorway
at the other end. When we were close to passing I turned and
told her how not only was this thing difficult to traverse and also
dangerous but also that it was horribly nonsensical. She respond-
ed by telling me how convenient and architecturally advanced it
was and that I should consider myself lucky. When I persisted in
telling her that it was stupid, she began to yell "You don't know
how lucky you are. You don't appreciate anything and you are un-
grateful and foolish." I walked further down the beam and when
I did see my old bedroom below I dropped into the room, surely
irritated. The light was very low and the place was similar to how
I remember it, with a low blue light showing through the win-
dow.
After landing in a pile of laundry my father appeared out of

nowhere and tackled and pinned me to the ground in an aggres-
sive headlock. He used all of his force to pin me to the ground
with my hands behind my back when he began to shout into my
ears "What did you do to make her so upset! This is unaccept-
able. If you cannot appreciate this then you can leave." and I re-
sponded by saying "She doesn't like it because it’s beneficial, she
likes it in the same way that she likes modern art. She likes it
purely because of its modernity and popularity but not for what
it is. It is in fact very dangerous considering the narrowness of the
beams." After this I managed to shove and kick him off of myself
before I walked away.
The next thing that I know I am walking through the entrance

to the other previous house of mine, the first house I did live
in when coming to Virginia. I had come walking into the up-
stairs living room where they had pulled the long couch up to the
television unit. My parents and my sister along with a few mem-
bers of my extended family did sit watching a movie. My moth-
er looked over and said while laughing "You need to see this, I
know you will like it. I know it will be your favorite. It's got noth-
ing but good reviews. Everyone good is in it." and I looked over
to the television to see a scene where there was an elongated ca-
noe, and in that canoe was supposed to be every funny or at-
tractive actor of the last two decades and they were all dressed
up as pirates just sitting there on dark and still water. I sat down
for a moment and stared confoundedly at the scene, giving it the
chance to impress me or to strike me with humor.
They kept going on and on about some scene coming up in the

movie, saying "Wait until you see this. It is the best,” then when
it finally came it was something ridiculous (though the rest of
them laughed hysterically). Keep in mind that this whole movie
was essentially a shot of many people sitting in a canoe; the scene

never did change. As I stood up from the couch, there suddenly
appeared about five or six men in leather biker outfits who were
watching the film with my family. I said to them (verbatim) "I'm
going to shower. Continue or discontinue this at your own dis-
cretion." I walked down the hallway toward the bathroom and
that is when I awoke.
“DEADLOCK”
09/16/2012
I was sitting in a car with my family and we were driving to the
mall. We had some trouble finding a parking space, but the rea-
son for this was rather specific. And although there were sever-
al potential openings left wherein people were to be leaving the
shopping mall and driving away in their car, all of those who
were needing to park were so alert about potential openings that
when someone would get into their car to leave or show signs of
pulling out, they would drive up so close to them in wait that
they would block them in while they were waiting for them to
leave, therefore the people could not leave and the others could
not pull in, and this was happening all across the parking lot,
where the stubbornness of everyone was preventing anyone from
entering or leaving.
I soon grew tired of my mother’s behavior and got out of the

car and began walking toward the mall, since I did not feel like
wasting my time and she would not listen to my instruction on
how to fix this stupid parking issue. As I approached the mall,
I turned around and for the first time was able to realize how
widespread this idiocy was, and when I had the greatest view of
this from my standing point near the building, I decided rather
that I would stand and watch this, as I found it more entertain-
ing than anything my original destination had to offer. For all
the rest of the dream, no one moved, everyone was honking and
yelling, and absolutely nothing came of it because no one would
budge.
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“MOLOCH”
09/21/2012
I was in my childhood home, walking through my old bedroom.
The lights were off, but there was the familiar blue glow coming
from the window, and my fan was present just as I remember it. I
loved my childhood bed. It was set on a lip below the ceiling and
could only be reached with a ladder. Attached to the lip was a
fan, and here in my dream I could see that my fan had come loose
and fallen onto the floor, breaking. I hadn’t been around when it
happened, though I believed I had been sabotaged by my father.
The fan and the blue color of the room have long been symbols
of childhood comfort in my life, which is the reason for why I
happened to draw them nearer to myself in 2008 as anxiety en-
tered into my life.
Some time later I was riding in the car with my father. He was
driving as I sat in the backseat with a laptop computer. In the
beginning he was arguing a statement of mine. I read him lists
aloud—lists having to do with semiotics and gematria. I remem-
ber saying "Your number is fourteen, and here I can see that you
correspond to 'bald head of iron' and also 'Moloch'.” After say-
ing this to him I had to look up the term Moloch, unsure of its
meaning and significance. Upon searching the term I came upon
a large photograph of a wily man, shown only from the shoul-
ders and up, who had a large, toothy smile dripping with golden
honey, bees, and also chewed-up honeycomb. Seeing this photo-
graph I exclaimed (verbatim) "He is like an affable bee demon!"
And I jealously wished that this man corresponded to my own
number, and I thought sneakily of how I could change the online
entry so that it was perceived as being so, but soon enough I was
24
disillusioned and realized that the man from the photograph was
in fact devouring the bees in his mouth. Yet to me, in my eyes so
naive, I somehow thought that he had simply allowed them to
live in his mouth and was like a living hive, rather than some bee
killing lunatic.
I wasn’t entirely sure about the nature of this name Moloch upon
waking. it was not wholly foreign to me, having been raised in
a Christian household, though I only knew the name. So after I
woke up I went immediately to my porch with a cigarette just as
my father was arriving home from his workplace. I caught him in
passing to ask if he knew the name and he said "It is the idol in
the Bible to which children were sacrificed."
“FIREWORKS”
09/23/2012
For a while I was awaiting the arrival of a close friend, and when
he finally showed up we both separated, going into separate
rooms without so much as a word to one another. Once within
my room, I sat at my computer, and the two of us communicated
via video correspondences despite being within the same house.
Our conversations began casually, but the conversation took a
turn toward psychotherapy. He admitted that nothing angered
him more than angry people—the irony of which was not lost on
us. I sympathized with how he felt, telling him that my greatest
complaint is being in the company of those who are always com-
plaining. Afterwards he typed out a large, strange wall of text
which I could not readily grasp. It seemed to be encrypted in
some way, and certain words were distorted and swaying. As I at-
tempted to crack the code, I could see that the man with whom I
was conversing had taken off on a skateboard down the hallway.
I eventually grasped the text, despite it warping in and out. The

text was full of cliché statements like, "Love your life! No one can
live it but you!" and all in all there were one or two more that I
can't remember, but they were similar in tone.
A notable thing about the conversation was the way in which

both of our physical characteristics were altered as time went on.
At the start of the conversation, his hair was a cyan blue, though
it later changed to an unnatural hue of red before finally becom-
ing a light blonde by the end of the dream. And while my physi-
cal characteristics weren't so prone to change, there was a certain
avatar that I did use within our chat (since I did not allow him
to see me, instead showing an avatar). I continued to adjust this
26
avatar over the course of our conversation, which was sort of a

caricature of myself. In the beginning it looked mortal, though
as time went on I would take a brush tool to the hair and to the
eyes, making it so that they smeared southward more with each
edit. By the end my eyes and hair had become so distorted that
the entire image was nonsensical.
Then as I walked out into the hallway I noticed all of the lights
and electronics in the area were flickering and powering off one
by one. I had been putting on my warmer overclothes so that
I could begin heading off in the direction where the fireworks
were being shot from. I had made a note about walking to xxxx
to see the fire display when my parents interjected that their lo-
cation was now switched so that they were being fired on my
very street just beyond my neighbors house. Just then I had been
standing in the dining room of my house when a large pink fire-
ball came through the ceiling and took out a Christmas tree and
sent it flying through the air. The walls began to warp and to dis-
tort and suddenly there were more balls of fire of strange colors
coming in through the window and walls for maybe every ten
seconds and blowing up furniture and technology. One nearly
impacted me except that I had managed to jump over it. I can re-
call looking down my hallway and seeing how my door was now
hanging on by a single hinge while the walls around did distort.
It had become apparent the whole street outside was being torn
to bits by this strange fire.
The dream concluded while I was lying half-awake on a public

bench (as my house had been partially destroyed), and in the dis-
tance I could hear people walking about. Suddenly, a man began
yelling "A-RI-A! A-RI-A!” in a most dramatic and drawn out
fashion. I was then under the impression that this ‘Aria’ was a ref-
erence to someone or something that he had lost in the fire and
he was now looking for whatever it was, while without looking

I could hear others trying to quiet, restrain and comfort him. I
woke up at this moment, since his shouting was so disruptively
loud.
“THE RACE”
09/25/2012
I was standing with Tyler in the backrooms of some mall or de-
partment store where everyone around us was eating. I knew
that his (Tyler’s) father was standing behind me, but I hadn’t
seen him since the exorcism and so I didn’t know how to race
him. I eventually turned around to greet him and noticed that
he looked so much younger. He said he was trying to look like
some hair metal musician and I said he looked about 30, before
prompting me to change my answer to ‘27, 30 or 28’ because he
looked so different. Then I was led back through what looked
like the back rooms of some department store but Zach, where
I passed people from childhood and they were all smiling and
making friendly remarks. Then we passed one of his sisters and
we asked something about a guy and she started flipping out
loudly, saying stuff like "No, this just needs to be said! That guy
this, and that guy that!” A lot of mean things to say about some
guy and what he did.
Then I was informed of some race that was about to take place.
I was taken back to the storehouse where I used to work, going
through all areas and seeing people I used to know sitting
around. They were all happy to see me though. Then I got back
to my own section where I used to work and I was commenting
how it looked so different. It didn't look unrecognizably differ-
ent but I was trying to show that I noticed all the improvements
and so I was pointing out little details with item rearrangement,
and there were all these black people and they started making re-
ally rude comments, and someone said "Do you really care that
much about the containers and where they are? Do you really? Is
29
it that big of a deal to you?" And they started to mock me along

with other black people I didn’t know. I was able to handle the
abusive things they said, though at one point they started mak-
ing cruel insults at me that they didn't know were going to be as
insensitive as they were, and I remember that some of them hit
hard having to do with my illnesses in my neck and having to do
with time spent away. I walked away fastly and I can remember
walking so fast that the person I had come with hadn't caught up
to me.
While leaving the building, I was crying with my face turned

downward, and all of the people I had reunited with over the
past hour had all seen me walking by and all looked like they
were about to say something until they noticed I was crying and
then they fell silent and looked like they didn't know what to do.
I wasn't supposed to be leaving just yet, because I had the race
soon, but I walked into this one entranceway and two guys stood
there, one of which was my father, and he said to me, “I heard
what happened to you. Here is a change of shirt,” and he gave
me a black shirt. I thought he was going to take me home but he
said nothing of this, and instead he made it sound like there was
still no chance that I would back out of the championship race,
and so some other guy came running up and said "Follow me!”
And so he had me follow him through this dark, pipe-covered
course in the bowels of the store, looking almost like a basement
or boiler room. I remember getting to the end of this tricky cor-
ridor and I could see all of the other contestants already sitting
down at a table ahead and they had beaten me to the spot. The
race hadn't started, but apparently there was a pre-race that had
just come to an end and now that I had arrived we could all de-
termine our actual spots in the race. I got hung up on a single
pipe before I could get out, and it was annoying because I could
see them all sitting down, and I’m sure they saw that I got hung
up so close to them, so I couldn’t walk around this one giant pipe

obstructing my path. So I went walking to the other side, but I
couldn't get around it over there either, so I went back to the first
side I tried again and this time I realized I was tall enough to
jump over it. I finally jumped over the pipe and entered the little
room and stood there awaiting instruction.
Some instructor said, "We still need a person to fulfill this role,
or we could always use more people on the secondary table,” and
so what he meant was I think since I was last in the race that it
wasn't likely I would do a good job as the main runner, and I saw
Jeiezza, and she was the one they thought would do best, but I
was still allowed to run first if I wanted to, and when they said
‘secondary table’ I looked over at this table to the right and there
I saw my mother and two small children sitting at the table. It
was then that I knew it was to be taken as an insult on some level.
“CHILD PLAY”
09/25/2012
As the dream began I was standing outside of my New Jersey
home by the cellar door, where there are many thickets and trees.
I was being called by a girl who may have been Anita. She was
sitting on one of those miniature swing-sets found in playground
where you have several two-seated swings connected by a small
platform in between, and she was sitting on the sort where there
are two seats connected to one another like a seesaw but it is ac-
tually a swing with a floor connecting the seats and it has hard
stalks connecting it to the top.
After doing my own thing for a while, I responded to her calls

and went to sit with her on the swing. I felt that it would give
way due to our combined weight, though it never did. We
seemed very close on his swing. Then we were suddenly at her
large house. I'm foggy on the details, but I remember interacting
with her family. When asking for the bathroom I was pointed
toward a place at the bottom of the house. So I went walking
downstairs into a strange basement and I came upon a run-down
room where the tiles were peeling from the walls and the whole
thing was tainted in gross color. I didn’t see a toilet, though I did
see two large tubs, one of which was filled with clear, clean water
and another that was filled with soapy water that was a bit dirtier
and was filled with several small bath toys meant for young chil-
dren. I walked across the floor through an assortment of toys so
as to get a better look at the tubs and I decided that I would uri-
nate in the soapy tub.
Without prior warning, the bathroom walls suddenly disap-

peared from around me, leaving me standing outside in a back-
32
yard. I was still by the tub, but I was at the bottom of a hill. Sud-
denly from behind there was a disturbance in the air, a terrible
and frozen aura that could be felt from afar. As if watching all of
this unfold from a third-person perspective, I knew that some-
thing was traveling fastly towards the place where I stood.
Just then I heard a woman's voice shouting from the nearby

house, saying "Quickly, run back!” and I heeded her cry, racing
up the hill toward the house. It was very difficult to run, since it
was like I was watching myself through a rear-view mirror, and I
could see that behind me, as I ran, there was a large, white, smoky
face chasing after me in the air behind me so fastly that it was
near impossible to outrun, ultimately reminding me of a super-
natural avalanche, having a frosted feeling to it.
By the time that I had made it nearer to the house I could see
how at the door it was Florentin standing alone with the door
held open, thinking perhaps it was not a woman who called me
but he himself. I noticed of his features that he had a slight
amount of scruffy facial hair unlike his actual self and was a little
bit more toned in the muscles of his shoulders and arms. Bare-
ly having made it to the door, the gigantic frosted face was on-
ly maybe ten feet behind my ownself, and upon re-entering the
house my attention was drawn to the fact that Florentin had
even waited until knowing I had gotten inside safely before com-
ing inside himself, slamming the door behind us two just before
the visage did enter. I can recall that all members of my adopt-
ed family, along with the dream neighbor's whole family were
standing crowded around, watching me as I ran and panted.
“THE CABINET”
09/26/12
I walked across an evening beach. On one end there was a cliff
face hanging above the shore, to my rear was an antechamber I
had entered through, and all else was but a sandy channel pur-
pled by toxins. There stood before me a selection of apes and
deformed miscreations running along the sand in droves, and
they were here for the same reason as I myself, and this rea-
son, as described within the antechamber, was that of a game.
The game's goal was never made certain, for we were given free
range of the area; some seeking treasure, some seeking domina-
tion, some seeking even defeat. I had stepped back toward the
entrance without crossing the bounds of the game, having set my
sight to a large china cabinet. I grasped with both hands at its
side and climbed to its tip, using it as a platform on which I could
walk, moving across the sand by way of manipulating one side at
a time in movement as one would commonly maneuver an ob-
ject too heavy for them to lift or carry.
The creatures, who appeared like horror clichés, attempted to

sabotage me and destroy my chances of success. They clung to my
cabinet and tried to take what was mine. I managed to maneuver
my way to the nearby cliff with my china cabinet, climbing from
wood to rock that I may stand in security. Here from this high
point I looked over the dark ocean, much of it beyond twenty
feet being entirely obscured by evening, and watched the apes of
varying sizes as they both played and drowned within the water.
After an interstice of cognition I was then standing within a sort

of dimly-lit dormitory where half of the room did resemble a
shop in the way that there were products stocked. There in the
34
room among two or three other men I sat at the edge of the bed
with headphones in my ears, listening to a sort of playlist com-
posed of songs that were purely about bridges in their themes.
Much of these seemed as if folk music made in the 1970's, often
including only a singer with a single acoustic guitar track. The
music was stark enough that I could still make out the conversa-
tions being carried out around me, where one concerned a man-
seemingly maladapted and unpopular-who was trying on differ-
ent set combinations of clothing that I took as seeming boring.
Another from the room turned to this man and said in a haughty
manner, "Oh, so you are aspiring to be (?). Well, the first thing
is that you must be more practical and conventional if you are
wanting to play this role, for this character relies on normalcy
in his totality." He continued giving ‘fashionable advice’ as the
other absorbed and adhered to every word, "I recommend these
particular shoes. They look identical to the footwear worn by all
others. These things will have you walking where you're supposed
to be walking. Trust me, I know what I'm talking about." the con-
versation concluding with a jovial laugh from the both of them.
“SPHINX ON THE BUS”
09/26/2012
Asia had taken off on some vehicle the night before and I was
worried for her. I spoke with some guy over the phone and the
things he said didn’t make much sense.
“Oh yes, my child was lost, so I saw the van with people in it and
sent it to cheer them up.
However, he didn’t know where his own child was so he got

them lost too. It was Asia in a blue van with one other person
and I knew they were probably never going to come back.
I broke down crying in an empty train car while speaking with a

stranger who resembled a Sphinx.
“And every time I walk by, it is evident by their feet and their
legs, and then you've got little girl...” I called her a derogatory
name that made no sense, like Tiny Little Chowchow. “Some-
times I want it to get worse. I want it to get worse so that it will
be forced to give me an answer.” I was sobbing uncontrollably
and I gave away my position when I was sneaking through the
window in an empty bus. There were several others present and
not just the Sphinx. They felt sorry for me even though I was ex-
aggerating.
36
“CHANGING ROOM DEMON”
09/27/2012
Asia and I were sitting outside in a Walmart parking lot.
The first thing I can remember is (though its not anywhere near
the beginning of the dream) is sitting with Asia on a street corner
at nighttime while people walked by and tons of young people
would talk to as us they walked by and I can remember one girl
in particular who came by with a very small cat who was unusu-
ally colored. it was tinted bluish purple as far as I can remember
and it got close and stared at me, and then this very small girl
came up to me too and stared me down like the cat and I kind
of just didn’t do anything about it and almost ignored it, this is
while many others were still coming by and saying things and
coming and going. and she persisted and finally said "xxxxxxx
likes you." and I said something like "Oh?? that's something,” and
then smiled.
On one corner of this market I remember there stood a tall and

gaunt man who was old I believe and maybe had slight gray facial
hair. He stood up straight maybe on top of some small stand and
did something that creeped us out. I might have made a com-
ment to him or the other way around.
Asia and I kept teleporting to all of these places while looking to

escape the evil.
I remember a huge hallway in the back of the store, or many hall-

ways. We were running from someone and trying desperately to
hide. We thought it would be safe to end up back toward the
changing room section where we were earlier
37
Asia and I were standing by the changing rooms when suddenly

one of the doors opened up. Asia didn’t really look. I say "Hey,
look," and I see Chelsea’s body (my sister’s friend) on the floor in
the changing room in her underwear and her body was covered
in strange small bruises and she looked like she was convulsing or
maybe deathly still. I then looked to the left of me and the body
of Chelsea came running and hit a wall I think and stopped. This
then repeated with another one. I looked down the hallway to
the right in the pitch darkness and could see a shining where
Chelsea was coming toward me. Then she took off running in
my direction and I moved around the corner in time so that she
would miss me and then I remember at the end of the dream feel-
ing caught in a vortex of air or wind and I looked down upon
sensing that something invisible was climbing up my body and I
awoke screaming.
“FISH WITH LEGS”
10/02/2012
I was lying on a desolate beach in the dawning hours of day with
my body propped up by my elbows when a fish with two human
legs stepped out of the water and began to walk circles around
my body. The next scene I recall is standing within a control
room, watching through a collection of monitors as a supply of
test subjects were listening to my music through headphones. As
the music began to play, what resembled a plastic bag would be-
gin to grow from their necks, eventually taking over their en-
tire heads as they danced erratically to the melody. They contin-
ued to dance even as their heads were overtaken by these strange
bags. I eventually became bored and reached for a magazine at a
nearby desk, opening to a page where something was written of a
man with no stomach who was, as it had been phrased, “Lucifer
came upon the earth, coming from the hill of the single cedar.”
39
“THEORY OF MIND”
10/06/2012
I was standing behind a closed door with someone standing to
my right. As I went to open the door, I turned to them and said
“Here is Theory of Mind.” Then we walked into an odd room
that resembled a giant ball pit and I began explaining to my com-
pany what it all meant. I am sure that there was a philosophical
bent to this situation, though the details were not fully recalled.
Next I remember transporting and locating possessed idols in

ancient ruins and tombs. After a while I found myself within a
more modern seething and had assumed the role of home deco-
rator. When my customers would walk out of the room I would
begin to hide code throughout the house, having thousands of
small letters and symbols at my disposal as though tangible type-
face. I remember writing something long with these letters, like
some thought extending from one wall to the next with these
small letter-blocks, and I recall that every time there would be
the presence of the word Ol’ (informal variant of Old) I would
hide a 5 or an S about three feet above this letter in a small and
discrete location, usually stuffing it into a hole in the wall or into
imperfections of the wooden furniture (Intended as ‘Sol’ or ‘5ol’
when read as intended).
40
“PUBLIC SHOWER”
10/08/2012
I was lost in thought, bathing in a public shower, for what
seemed like a good while before the door at the far end of the
room opened up and a dozen additional men stepped in to
shower. It had apparently never occurred to me that this was a
public shower, and I became visibly irate, putting a robe around
myself and making frustrated remarks at these men who did walk
in. I went walking for the exit on the far end of the room, and
when I was only a few feet from the exit the door did open for
a woman to walk in, implicating that this was a unisex shower,
however my reaction was quite funny, since when she stepped
through the door only feet in front of me I clenched my muscles
and yelled "Goddamnit!" at the top of lungs in quite an unusual-
ly aggressive way, shocking and startling her. I then stormed out
of the room and down the hallway. In the next room was a small
study filled with thousands of books. There was one woman who
was my age who sat at a table reading. I came inside and asked
her permission to read the books and she told me it was fine and
so I laid on the couch in what was probably still my robe and I
read and wrote behind her for the remainder of the dream.
41
“SHE WAITS ON THE STAIRS”*
10/09/2012
I was walking through this strange, dark hallway where a bunch
of punks were loitering. The area was run down and there were
small posters and flyers put up all over the walls advertising dif-
ferent shows.
I finally made it to the main room, which looked like my child-

hood bedroom in New Jersey, and when I stepped inside to look
around I noticed her asleep on the far end of the room in the
right-most corner. There were a dozen or more people scattered
on the floor in sleep and I realized I couldn’t make it past them
and I walked back out and hung around in a long dark hall-
way where the punks and drifters walked by. It is questionable
whether I left because I didn't want to risk waking up/disturbing
any of the sleepers or if I was simply appalled by their filthiness.
I think some of the people who passed me in the hallway spoke
to me but I cannot recall, and it seems to me that they were all
discourteous except for possibly one middle-aged woman who
seemed out of place. Eventually my sister approached me near
the end of the dream, saying "I know you were wanting to speak
with that girl. I got her up and she's sitting on the stairs in the
other room waiting for you." I thanked her and then stood silent-
ly within the doorway for a minute or more before gathering the
nerve to make off in the direction of the staircase.
42
“THE LIGHTHOUSE”
10/22/2012
Anita and I glided hand-in-hand across vast bodies of water to
access strange islands and locations that were otherwise inacces-
sible. In one such land there stood a middle-aged man, and I
could see him from afar as we were approaching the island—his
eyes already set in me before I had even arrived. He wore an an-
gry expression and was surrounded by birds. "What have you
done to my birds!" Anita and I looked back and forth at each
other in confusion, and when he saw that I did not understand
his question he held out a bird within his hand so that I could
have a look. “You've covered their bodies in these things. What
have you done!?" and I looked at the bird in his hand and noticed
it was adorned with several small tacky pieces of what somewhat
resembled the little gripping protrusions one often finds on a
rock-climbing wall. He continued to rebuke me, attempting to
convict me of ‘biblical crimes’ that extended back thousands of
years, as if thinking me a fallen angel.
Anita and I wanted nothing to do with him and left, gliding back
across the surface of the water. After making it back to land, we
leapt atop a short flagstone wall, maybe only four feet tall. The
wall worked to partition the roadway from the sidewalks. We ran
full speed down the length of the wall, at one point passing by an
outdoor café where many people had set their dishes on the wall,
so by the time the two of us got to them we did crack them and
kick them hysterically as we ran by, laughing maniacally to our-
selves while the plates shattered.
In the final scene of the dream I ascended the floors of a light-

house, making it to one of the topmost floors, in which was a
43
long hallway bustling with nurses who ran panicked in every di-
rection, in and out of doorways with their carts while saying the
following:
“What will we do?"
“How can we handle this?"
“Can he be saved?"
“WALL OF WATER”
10/22/2013
I opened the door to a room that had been flooded. The water
was level with my height, though I found it even more peculiar
that, once opening the door, the water did not pour out, instead
retaining its height; and as I began wading through the water I
awoke.
45
“SKATING RINK”
10/24/2012
I was at a skating rink preparing to take part in some type of
sport. A crowd had gathered to watch, and upon entering the
rink everyone was given oversized weights—each of them equal
to the size and weight of the person to whom they were handed.
As I entered the rink and hoped to be given a weight, someone
called to me, preventing me from taking a weight, and said to me,
“No, you will take this instead, it is for you." It appeared to be a
large pink skeleton made of elastic or rubber and it was the size
of my physical body. I skated off into the rink holding onto my
pink skeleton but soon acknowledged that all of those gathered
in this place did skate in small circular patterns, and although I
was in this rink myself, something disallowed me from entering
into the main area, and as so, I was made to stand by the exit the
entire time. It was evident in how their patterns of movement
were determined by the fact their objects were so heavy that they
were affixed to the rink as if a drawing compass. Eventually when
the others were tired out, they would begin to leave through the
exit one by one, and here as I stood watching I would take the
pink skeleton and bop them with it saying "Why are you leaving?
You haven't done anything yet." And they would fall backward
after being hit with my prop and would land on the rink floor.
Later on within this dream I was followed by one or several el-

derly men who wanted me to teach them something, though this
‘something’ was general and not specific in nature. They never re-
ally ended up explaining what they wanted from me and simply
seemed to be stalking me.
46
“GRANDMASTER”
10/29/2012
I was seated at a large conference table conversing with a group
of elderly men. It was implied that I was the administrator of the
event, whatever that entailed. And I can recall seeing the arms
and hands of the person sitting to my immediate right, though
I avoided turning to look at him for the longest time. I cannot
remember the reason for the meeting itself, though at one point
we were discussing the game of chess in all its varying aspects. It
was then that the man at my immediate right spoke up. I turned
to him for the first time to see his face, asking, "Oh, do you play
chess?" He responded with a smile, "Not really. I do have an in-
terest in games though, one in particular, however you might be
the kind to call these games of mine... womanly." He smirked at
me, and there was something about his physical appearance that
stood out and set him apart from the rest but I cannot recall
what it was.
I laughed at his comment and said "You think so?" And I asked
to learn more about the game, telling him that my interests may
surprise him. I got the impression that he was speaking of some-
thing diabolical in nature and not like what one would have been
led to believe by his comments of ‘woman games’. It was some
dark concept related to creation and to giving birth from what
I can recall. We ended up discussing this idea until the time I
awoke, and I listened intently to all that he had to say. I vague-
ly recall him passing me a compartmentalized tackle box in se-
cret beneath the table and in the end we made plans to spend the
Christmas holiday with one another.
47
“LAJOS BY THE LIGHTHOUSE”
10/30/2012
I was sitting in an auditorium within a larger camp or compound
where I had planned to stay for the week. I sat among a crowd
of individuals awaiting direction. I recall reserving a seat at my
right for someone who was late in showing; someone who was
whispered about in the auditorium; someone who they called a
murderer. I left this seat open for a while, but when the man on
whom I was waiting finally arrived, he did not stay, walking out
after walking in. After sitting through a speech I left for the bath-
room where it seemed everyone was heading, since we were all to
leave on some sort of outdoor activity soon thereafter. I walked
into a stall and sat down with my laptop, feigning intestinal pains
as a reason to hide out for a little while and check my emails.
At this time I came to learn that Lajos lived not too far from my
current location and I found a picture of his location. It was a
small house set on a seaside cliff where in the near-distance there
stood a lighthouse with no other buildings surrounding. I took
this time to write him a long letter in the hopes that I could meet
with him again for the first time in so long, providing him up-
dates and insights into my current life.
Around this time I could hear a child standing at the foot of

my stall trying to get inside. His feet were visible beneath the
door, and he kept pushing against the door and fooling with the
knob. In an attempt to send him away I began making strange
and ghastly ghost moans, yet this did nothing and persisted any-
way. Then I leaned myself back and kicked the door with my foot
as hard as I could, knowing he was leaning against it. This jarred
him and he went away.
48
I finished up my letter to Lajos by signing my name with a se-

lection of photographs in which I saw various natural elements
that had been distorted and manipulated in strange ways to spell
out “Tendon Levey”—rock and element placement, holes in the
earth, trees bent unnaturally to seem as letters. After I completed
the letter I left the stall, realizing I had taken so much longer
than originally intended and everyone else had already left for
the next event which was now underway.
I ran out of the bathroom as Asia and some of her friends were
walking by. I was relieved to see them, since I couldn’t figure
out how to get to the next location, and it was fortunate that I
met them when I did, since they were about to leave. Though I
seemed eager to continue the camp activities, I left instead for
my New Jersey childhood home, where I sat in the dark, blue
and windy room, packing a backpack on my bed with all sorts of
strange explosives while I proofread my letter to Lajos and pre-
pared to have it sent in the hopes that the both of us could meet.
“ALARM CLOCK”
11/01/2012
I sat with a book in my hand reading about alarm clocks and
about sleep, and I recall graphs and other charts showing specific
relationships. What I derived from all of that was that I would
not hear my alarm clock until a certain point in the middle of the
graph, since this was when the dream noise had subsided enough
that I could hear the clock outside with my senses, however I did
hear the faint ringing of a clock in the distance and did not tend
to it. It was talking about "If you are over-tired then it will take
x amount of time for the sleep-noise level [...]." When I awoke I
found I had overslept by an hour, meaning my alarm had been
ringing for a whole hour. Note that this was just a nap and it was
my full night's sleep.
At another point in the dream I was playing a game of chess

against a stranger in what was likely a casual match. I overheard
someone remarking about how the guy against whom I was play-
ing was a champion, or perhaps the champion, and despite doing
well up until that point and feeling rather confident in myself, I
became anxious under pressure. In the end I ended up winning,
but it was all very casual.
50
“CANDLEFIGHT”
11/03/2012
I was standing in the kitchen when I was approached by my
mother, who was screaming out her grievances. I then called her
an obese and inactive corpse and she began to chase me. Then I
said "Okay! I've got one!" and I ran through the open door on-
to the back deck and pulled a concealed candle jar from the area
and I ran back toward the doorway in order to throw it at her.
Then I noticed that she held a candle jar similarly and with the
very same intent. She then pulled a lighter from her pocket, lit
the wick and threw the candle at me, missing me and landing in
the grass and setting fire to a yard.
I then went and cooked marshmallows on the backyard fire.
Every time I would prepare a bowl of food I would take it down

into my basement, I would set it on the shelf, I would collapse
on the bed and eventually stand up and see that all my food
had been eaten without my awareness... by myself ? By something
else? I never learned what was happening.
51
“DEVIL DOG”
11/06/2012
I was in my home when my mother called me into the kitchen
to share with me some news regarding our neighbors and the se-
crets they kept. She told me the son was now near to death and
the father had hobbled to our house while I was away and he
died on my basement floor. Then I went out on the deck for a cig-
arette when my neighbor's dog came running up to me. I scowled
at the dog as if barked, saying, "You're more than you seem, aren’t
you. You're x and y and z,” and the small brown dog began to
speak to me with a deep voice about protecting his daughter and
how he's been all along trying to keep me away. This was appar-
ently the true state of the father who had died previously. Every
few minutes the dog would bark so as to not rouse suspicion
in the public and then promptly continue talking quietly and
deeply about how it must keep me away from his daughter.
52
“BOXING”
11/07/2012
I was sitting on a couch with a few young women. They were all
speaking, while I was mostly keeping to myself. One of them was
holding a dog, and at one point she held the dog up to me and
it licked me. It was a very fat dog and I commented about its
weight. Then I drew blood from a stamp pad and pressed it up-
on the area between the dog's eye, creating what resembled a bin-
di. One of the women had a contraption stored underneath the
table in front of us and kicked it repeatedly; and every time she
would kick, it would release or display some photograph depict-
ing three or four women wearing boxing gloves. And every time
she would step on the floor pedal the photograph would pound
me in my crotch. This happened repeatedly until I finally awoke
from my dream.
There was a part in-between that I cannot recall. But then I was
suddenly descending or ascending some strange, tall tower with
my former supervising contractor (when I worked as a painter).
I walked out into a yard complaining that I had lost my music
player, and I found that it had ended up on someone's washing
machine within a dark basement, and he yelled emphatically
"That happened to mine too! I had to go over there!"
I couldn't think of what I ate in a day. They asked, “What do you

eat?l I kept stalling and said, "I'm very routine-based. I'm very...
something else.” And when the girl mentioned yogurt I com-
mented, "Oh, yes, yogurt. I have yogurt. And when I wake up I
have... yogurt? And then... oatmeal? And then...” and I blanked
out.
53
“EATING THE EARTH”
11/09/2012
I was looking through an old photo album belonging to an old
friend who I hadn’t seen in years and I saw that I appeared in a
couple of these photos. There was something very strange about
my appearance. The two of us—she and I—were present in this
photograph, both of us facing sideways and shown from only the
lower torso and upward. She stood calm and composed, while I
was seen standing behind her with my body and a face in a very
creepy and unnatural position.
Afterwards I found a letter in my mailbox dated from several

years earlier, though it remained unopened. It was from an old
associate of mine who was also close with SN and Patrick both,
and she said, "I've publicized this photograph album and have
called it 'Early Day Villains' and...” and it was an album filled
with photos of the three of us: her, I and Patrick.
In each of these photographs, Patrick was wearing a black and

white striped outfit reminiscent of the stereotypical jail attire.
His eyes were beady and mischievous. I, on the other hand, stood
with scrawny, elongate limbs, looking like the cover of Reaper
Physical Place in its malign refinement. My head was always
crooked and my eyes were always glossed over, like a demoniac.
Later on I got dressed up in different outfits and costumes,

though I felt that in order to do so I must cross into alternative
dimensions, taking the best outfits from both worlds and putting
them together to form the ensemble. I went into the bathroom
to try on my final costume before the mirror and then looked
over to find a strange thing sticking out of the toilet. From the
54
bowl was coming what resembled giant antlers or some kind

of tree branch sticking up maybe three or four feet beyond the
bowl. I was disgusted by what I saw and I looked out the window
onto my New Jersey property, realizing my parents had been eat-
ing the earth (since despite it appearing like an ordinary tree
branch I knew it to be fecal matter). I waited angrily by the
kitchen door as I waited on them to return. I waited for hours,
and when they finally returned I asked them in a disciplinary and
scolding manner, "How do you even make it through the day full
of that much shit?"
“FISH FOOD”
11/13/2012
My father and I were taking many trips back and forth between
our current home and my childhood home. We were only able to
carry small quantities of items in a single trip and so it took some
time to get everything over from the old house. At one point I
recall entering my childhood bedroom to find my wall was cov-
ered with multimedia cases. When I went to open them up I dis-
covered that they were all empty without discs.
There was a strange, albeit beautiful fish which was apparently

purchased or caught around the time that I was born. I kept ask-
ing my father questions about it, and he said we could not take it
back just yet, because it had to go last (and we still had much left
to do).
In the middle of the night, now at my current house, I was

preparing food in the kitchen. Then I woke my father so that he
could drive me to the old house because I wanted to feed the fish,
but he would not let me and this was very distressing to me.
56
“PLIACTING”
11/14/2012
The word “pliacting” (or a similar word) was being used to de-
scribe a metaphysical concept in which something was traded for
its opposite. This often referred to “moral opposites” within the
context of my dream.
A ‘demon’ had managed to trick me by using this method. The

demon's name began with the letters “diu” or “diur” and he man-
aged to deceive me by slowly switching everything in my life for
its opposite—so slowly that I did not realize it was happening,
which was typical of this process. As a result, I had spent years
in turmoil after being filled with ‘the opposite’ of what I was (he
had taken only my strongest and most definitive traits).
Eventually I latched on to another spirit in the same way that this

one had latched on to me and I began to gradually trade traits
in the same stealthy, deceptive manner, until I had stolen all of
their definitive traits, including their title (which I saved for last,
knowing that the loss of his title would likely raise an alarm). He
then tried to get me into trouble with some supernatural entity,
though the entity considered my actions to be justified.
The dream ended as a voice whispered into my ear saying “Irra-

tionality which is confined to the mind is not irrationality but
encryption. Irrationality can only be a product of physical and
manifest action.”
57
“ANITA MALL”
11/17/2012
I was at a shopping mall in the late hours of night. There was a
store which only contained a large staircase. As I stood on one
of the steps in the company of two other men I recall thinking
that this display reminded me of a courtroom. I faced the door-
way, from where I could see the main strip of the shopping mall,
watching as the volume of persons traveling the floor would de-
crease as it came closer to the time of closing. I did eventually
leave the stair for the main strip, and as I came out I was greeted
by a chimera who spoke as though a woman, pointing me toward
a particular end of the building. I went to where she had di-
rected. Eventually I came upon a mass of people who stood in a
queue formation. I noticed a woman that I knew in my youth,
and just behind this woman was another woman who looked al-
most identical except for the fact that her resemblance to the
person she reminded me of was slightly more prominent. Stand-
ing behind her was yet another in similitude, in a very slight way
showing more of a resemblance. This pattern was repeated as I
walked past the line and noticed that each one looked slightly
more clear in their resemblance until I came to the one at the
very back of the crowd, for this person was identical in every sin-
gle way to the one who I compared the previous to.
I continued down the strip until I came to the second queue. It

was just like the first! There were maybe twenty people, and the
one at the forefront showed a faint resemblance to someone I
had known from my life—enough of a resemblance where one
might mistake them for them—however as I walked past the
queue of nearly identical people, at the very back it so happened
58
again that the back-most person was identical in every way. This
continued for maybe two or more masses before I reached the fi-
nal stretch of the mall just around a bend.
This room was interesting for the fact that it had two levels to
it, where an escalator in the center did provide access to the up-
per walkway. Walking along the floor I noticed the next mass at
eye-level, only recently having figured out how this whole thing
worked and now knowing what to expect. There in the front of
the crowd of look-alikes I saw a face resembling Anita's and I was
overwhelmed with excitement, and from what I could see of the
crowd behind her is exactly as I had expected, that the further
back I would walk the closer I would get to the actual Anita. It
was then that I realized a strange thing, looking upward at the
escalator which was very close to where I stood, and I could see
that another mass was standing on the top level. Looking up to
the face of the woman at the forefront my heart pounded, it was
another who bore resemblance to Anita, however, I was baffled
because she looked dissimilar from those who were on the bot-
tom floor and yet I was calling them both ‘Anita’ within my head.
I struggled on and on, not knowing which group to pursue,

since I knew that at the back-end of queue I would find genuine
article—the individual of which all others were only w reflec-
tion—and I knew that I could only make one choice before I
eventually woke up. Almost without hesitation I stepped onto
the conveyor and began traveling upward to the next level so as
to pursue the higher way though they both resembled Anita but
not each other.
In the final scene of the dream I awoke to a dog sitting on my

head. I began cursing and laughing while trying to get it off of
me. On the other side of the room Florentin was sleeping, and
he sat up and said "Well, that's maybe the creepiest thing to wake
up to.” (referring to my laughter)
“JUDGMENT! 666!”
11/28/2012
I was at church, seated in a pew. I was eyeing a certain woman sit-
ting a few rows ahead of me who kept turning around to glance
at me in random instances during the service. Once the congre-
gation disbanded she turned herself around in her seat and en-
gaged me in conversation. I can not recall our conversations, al-
though we ended up leaving the place together and going to a
restaurant.
The next thing I know I am sitting at her side in a restaurant and

her hand was on my leg.
I walked around the partitioning wall and traveled up the stair-

case until I reached a small seating box set before a large golden
sport-ring, sitting next to a Japanese man who somewhat resem-
ble vampire. We were discussing the prospects of creating robotic
fighters and letting them loose in the restaurant.
I was talking on and on and she became frustrated for reasons

unknown to me. I was under the impression that she was blam-
ing me for what had happened to her (the shooting) in some-
what of a passive aggressive manner, and as I continued speaking
to her and the others that were surrounding us she did... move
her hand that she began to clutch my crotch. I tried to act as
though I didn't notice, but as I continued to speak she became
more visibly frustrated and she began to grip harder and harder
and harder. Then she began speaking loudly and in some cursed
language, uttering a bunch of frightening sounding codewords
like something straight from a grimoire. I didn't say anything
at first simply because I was trying to figure out if I had done
61
something to upset her, yet I couldn't handle the pain any longer.
I leapt from my seat in a state of panic and took off running
down the hall while shouting in the same manner as she "JUDG-
MENT! 666!" and I was completely delirious, and as I ran into
the room at the far end of the hallway and attempted to close the
door behind me, a man with a large ax suddenly appeared out of
nowhere and took hold of the knob on the other side so that I
could not shut the door all the way, and I was terrified for my life
as I struggled to shut and lock the floor.
• Climbing around the car with a girl while the guy shot her and
me. He shot her up a dozen times because she was dragging and
wasn't coming around when I gripped her. Then she was hooked up
to some strange medical machine and walked around in it. The guy
got shot by the police and when he saw what happened to her he be-
gan to cry, saying, "I feel for you. I know how it feels."
“THE DAGGER”
11/29/2012
I was spending the evening with my family at some house down
the street (a street resembling that of my previous house in Lon-
donberry). At some point during the night I was given a small
dagger.
After a while I decided to head back home. Since everyone else

had planned to stay a bit longer I went off alone and walked
down my neighborhood street. I gripped the hilt of the dagger
all the way home. At one point I could hear the bark of a dog
somewhere between me and my house. When I found the dog, it
was barking at me. I looked around to make sure that no one was
watching. It was dark and no one was around. So I began thrust-
ing my blade into the dog’s body, stabbing it to death in the grass.
Afterwards I saw a man walking through the shadows in the spot
where I was before I came after the dog, and his presence creeped
me out very much.
Later on, when my parents arrived home they confiscated my

dagger so that they could check it. Whether it was my mother or
my father I can not recall, but began pulling some ribbon from
a hidden cartridge located within the dagger and on this ribbon
was written a log of the blade's activities which went something
like this:
00:30: Dagger was pulled from pocket and exposed to the air.
00:31: Dagger was running through the street.
00:32: Dagger halted.
63
00:34: Dagger was raised.
00:34: Dagger was thrusted repeatedly toward the grass in fluid

motion.
00:35: Dagger was concealed and returned to inactivity.
I have considered the implications of the man walking through

the shadow, who I considered to be highly threatening. He was
far enough from where I stood that I didn’t have to worry about
our paths crossing, yet he was near enough for me to be alert. The
reason for why our paths would not cross, I assume, was due to
how I had run toward the dog when I did, and in this it is im-
plied that I would have crossed his path had it not been for the
dog, and to me this implies that the dog drew me away from a
worse fate.
“DEVOURING THE
BLACKBIRD”
12/01/2012
I was seated at a picnic table. I was surrounded by darkness on
all sides and with only a soft glow illuminating the table. Be-
fore me on the table was a large black bird, dead and rigid, and
I was devouring it. I was pulling it apart and stuffing it in my
mouth. I remember how the beak was black. I picked out the
beak and continued pulling at the meat. Sitting across from me
on the adjacent bench was Florentin who sat in silence and some-
times looked appalled by my actions. With every bite I took he
would wince, but I ignored him. This lasted for what seemed like
a very long time. Once having finally consumed the whole ani-
mal, I took the fork into my hand, lifted it high into the air and
then drove it down into the table, breaking through to the oth-
er side. Suddenly I heard the sound of applause in my surround-
ings and the whole area became illuminated, revealing that I was
surrounded by many picnic tables on which many creatures sat
watching me as I ate the bird. My spectators were beastly in ap-
pearance and I would compare them to the creatures appearing
in a Hieronymus Bosch painting. Whatever they were, they were
all applauding me for my feat. I then woke from this dream and
suffered a spell of sleep paralysis.
65
“CAKE CONTEST”
12/04/2012
I walked for ages through a dim-lit mansion containing dozens
and dozens of rooms. I was taking part in some strange compe-
tition and my objective was never made clear. I knew no one,
and though there were perhaps thirty or forty others who walked
among these same halls, I was the only one who was not paired
up—a stranger to the rest. They laughed at me because I was un-
aware of how the game was played.
I made it to a room in which there was a bureau, and atop this

bureau was three plates, one of them holding a slice of cake; and
since I did not know what to do, I just stood there looking at it.
After a few minutes, someone walked in behind me and ate the
cake off of the plate. It was only then that I found out that by tak-
ing and eating this cake that you were declared the victor in this
particular leg of the tournament, so could have won if only I had
known that.
As the game was not yet over, I walked endlessly among the halls,
now with a better idea of what to do, yet still feeling somewhat
inept. A couple of people decided to play tricks on me, setting
a trap within one of the rooms where, when I stepped on it, it
made me unable to move properly. Like my directional controls
were backwards, and when I would attempt to move left I would
move right; when I would attempt to move forward I would
move in reverse. They all laughed at my behavior as if everyone
was in on it but me and it was so disheartening.
After the spell wore off I walked through strange passages where
no one else would go, walking through walls and through odd
66
and narrow crevices between rooms before finally coming upon

the final room of the tournament, wherein there were three more
plates. One was empty, one had a sort of toasted cake almost like
an aniseed sponge, and the third had a large piece of chocolate
cake. At first I could see only the toasted cake, since the larger
piece was obscured from my vision, for some reason, and so I ate
the strange small cake and then leaned against the wall.
Suddenly I could hear another presence drawing near, and it was

then that I noticed the other piece I had not previously seen still
sitting there. Just as another man walked through the doorway I
leapt forward out of panic and ate the chocolate cake before he
could consume it. The cake was so large and dense, having the
consistency of fudge, and eating it apparently made me the vic-
tor. While I sat eating it on the couch, a few young women en-
tered the room and sat themselves awfully close to my space, sit-
ting on the floor just next to the arm of the couch where I sat.
They began gossiping and singing off-key (to the point that it
was stressing me out).
After eating my cake I left the room and returned to the main
room of the house. I retrieved my backpack and went to pack all
of the supplies that I had brought with me so that I could pre-
pare to go home. Of these items I remember several stuffed dolls
with heads like garlic-bulbs. I was approached at this time by the
man who placed second in the tournament—the man who had
walked in the room just as I took the plate. I forget exactly how
he introduced himself to me, though it marked the first time in
all the dream that I was spoken to with kindness. We sat down
and chatted for a while as I waited for my father to pick me up.
He asked “What’s your occupation?"
"Occupation? I don't have one."

"You look like you play music.”
I smiled at him and said, "I used to, but lately I've been writing
an autobiography,” and then I became self-conscious, feeling the
need to justify myself. “I know a twenty-three year old shouldn't
be writing an autobiography, but I guess you can say that I... am
not guaranteed tomorrow."
There was a woman rubbing my back, and there was another

man coming to sit down. Two Kori’s and two Asia’s. Then the
man he was with became a woman and they were mirroring the
two of us on my couch. The people were quietly congratulating
me on my win.
As I got up to leave I said, “And now I'm being fetched by thine

father's bald head,” to which the man said "At least it won't take
him so long to dry his hair.” And I looked at the both of them,
who had now become bald themselves and I shouted "I hate dry-
ing my hair. Then I walked down the hallway to get the rest of my
stuff and I accidentally startled someone who was cleaning the
hall and he instinctively took a defensive martial arts pose right
as I woke up.
“LAST OF THE DOGS”
12/06/2012
I was standing in the basement of my Londonberry house (my
previous location in which I lived between 2002 and 2007)
when I heard someone knocking at the door. I opened the door
and several children ran in to tell me that I must release all of
the animals in my possession. Apparently I was living in a zoo,
and the animals being kept within my room were, as the children
said, “the last of their kind,” making it important that they go
free and flourish.
I agreed and released a dozen or more animals, and each of these

animals were like creatures of myth and fantasy. I walked with
the children down the street as I could see the creatures running
ahead of us on the roadway. But when they came to the traffic in-
tersection most of them laid down on the road. The kids became
anxious and scared, begging me to do something and get the an-
imals to move before being run over.
A small dog approached me, and as I went to pet its head I could
hear the children gasp, saying "But you dislike dogs!" to which
I gave some answer about how my distaste had lessened in this
case where I understood that it was the last of its kind. Notwith-
standing the whimsical nature of the scene, I was a bit apathetic
throughout all of this, moving slowly unlike the children, howev-
er due to the situation I had no choice and I couldn't allow them
to die off.
69
“BATTLE TOWERS”
12/06/2012
I was sitting among a congregation, stationed in a strange, tower-
like structure at the back of the room from which I observed all
of the people during the sermon. My mother entered the build-
ing and began to set up a structure very similar to my own, al-
though hers was made of crude materials, and she began using
the machines in an attempt to fight my own as if some sort of
mecha battle. I eventually left my station and ran off to the bath-
room where I began spraying and teasing my hair. There was a
knock on the door, and when I opened the door it was a girl who
was under my mother's spell.
My mother had been hypnotizing the congregation, and in order

to undo her hypnosis I switched something internally within
myself that would reverse the polarity of my Hells and Hehs.
This would allow me to counteract her spell.
70
“CUCKOO CLOCK DEVIL”
12/06/2012
Though a simplistic dream, and one I cannot remember much
of, I was walking around a room of antiques when my sense
perception suddenly changed and I was able to notice the con-
troller's behind all things; seeing the things which manipulated
all forms of life. It was very spiritual. Every item was connected
to something greater. So I walked through the room, peering
upon each item—sometimes seeing women in their reflection,
sometimes seeing parasites. And then I walked over to a cuckoo
clock where I was somehow able to make out the presence of a
devil standing in silence behind or within the clock, his eyes be-
ing slightly visible when the small door would open.
71
“ANGEL MODEL KIT”
12/07/2012
I was standing in a private room speaking with an old girlfriend
when someone who apparently knew me interrupted the conver-
sation to tell me (in a hushed voice) that a certain someone had
just arrived to the party, and they cautioned me that this person,
a woman, was unusual in appearance, and I was warned against
saying anything overtly blunt or staring at them unkindly. As I
listened to them describe this person, a look of excitement came
over my face and I pushed past them to reach the main room
where, upon seeing the guest, I shouted "Angel!" in a way that
sounded nearly lovestruck. Then I could see the faint sight of
someone across the room whose back was at this time facing me.
After hearing my call, they turned around and shouted in a simi-
larly theatrical way, "Tendon!"
The next thing I know we were both standing in the center of

the room surrounded by a group of people as we embraced and
allowed the others in on the fact that we had known one anoth-
er at an earlier point in time. I praised her, calling her kindest,
most genuine person I had ever met. I recall that she seemed a bit
younger than I, and so there seemed an almost sibling-like sen-
timentality between us. At one point she said "Someday I will
marry you, Tendon!" to which I laughed cheerfully. And in case
it is not clear, all of this is referring to the women about whom I
was cautioned by the host due to their appearance. I would com-
pare her appearance to that of patients suffering from progeria.
This party took place at Patrick’s old house—a place where I

spent much of my youth—although Patrick had long since
passed away. My main reason for showing up seemed to have to
72
do with there being a certain vault somewhere within his house

that was known only to myself, and Patrick’s death was, itself, a
sort of password which would open the vault. I had never been
permitted entrance while he was alive, and I believe it contained
some sacred or religious artifact. I was the only one in this place
who wore a swimsuit and I'm not sure that I or any others ever
found it strange.
After a while I recall that a bunch of butlers and maids arrived

at the party who singled me out and interrogated me everywhere
that I went. I tried to hide from them, though I could never es-
cape them for long.
There was one point where I met and left with two brothers who
looked nearly identical, despite an obvious age and height differ-
ence. They were dressed as engineers and once led me away from
the party in an effort to convince me to test their railcar ride
which, I’m told, was designed for me. As such, I had to be the
one to test it. It was terrible. I remember feeling tricked as I rode
down a horrible and rickety path through some strange under-
ground world where I was not allowed to back down now that
I had accepted. In the end, I can't remember much of this part
of the dream, though I can recall that they had compensated me
with a model kit of angel for the fact that they had stolen some-
thing of great value from me.
I was trading things everywhere I went.
Rachel came in and gave me a reference about my guitar playing

and singing because I wouldn’t admit to it myself.
I want to say "I broke one of the brothers up into little pieces,"
but I don’t think that even remotely describes anything that hap-
pened. One of the brothers did become strangely flimsy in my

presence, though, and I believe that I caused it somehow.
I ran away with a young woman to some strange factory in a dis-

tant and secluded place. The path inside the building was lined
on both sides with women who would not look at me as I walked
by. They seemed rather mournful and motionless. I was told by
the person who I was with that this was because they all had the
potential to marry me under different circumstances, depending
on my path through life, although I was nowhere to be found,
having hid for so long. They assumed that after all those years
spent hiding from the maids and butlers that I had become a but-
ler myself. I responded, "No! I've become a fugitive chef."
We walked through toward the main room of the factory where

we would lay on our sides atop some strange metallic board that
almost resembled a crude bed, and of this I can recall there being
pistons, engines and other machinery shooting off and whirring
all around us. Lying close to one another she looked gladful and
yet saddened at the same time, saying how she was much too
young and that she was still getting ever younger. Her facial fea-
tures were slowly shrinking in size. And when she asked me for
a kiss, I attempted to kiss her quickly before her facial features
disappeared completely. Afterwards she said, “And now I've be-
come too young for you." Much of the day passed us by while laid
around in this place and eventually we fell asleep (despite the ca-
cophony of the factory).
When we finally left the factory, I was wearing swimming shorts

and holding a surfboard while listening to the girl speak. At that
moment, Florentin approached me from a driveway in which a
single sedan. He and several large, black men apprehended me
and forced me into the car, pinning me between several men in

the backseat before driving off.
I somehow escaped the vehicle when, as it was slowing down

to make a turn, I rolled out of the door and took off running
through the nearby forest, finding a winding path and traveling it
upwards to an area deeper into the woods. After a while of walk-
ing I came upon a clearing where there was a ‘pool hall’—a liter-
al hall leading to an outdoor pool. Florentin, being familiar with
my own patterns, barged into the pool hall knowing I would be
here, with his several men entering from the many different en-
trances to this one long well-lit hall. It quickly became an uproar
with everyone shouting and trying once more to convince me
that I return with them, though several children then came walk-
ing in through one exit, saying that none of us were allowed to
be here in such late hours of the night for the fact that it was pri-
vate property. I ignored them, taunting Florentin from across the
room, saying "If you do such and such for me then I will hand my
angel model kit over to you,” and this enticed him, since this is
what he was ultimately after. He responded by saying "Really!?"
and I laughed, saying "No way. I've traded everything for this."
The dream ended.
I retrieved a model kit of an angel from my pocket and they per-

mitted me to stay. Florentin said l he would trade me anything to
take this kit and that he's worked all his life for this, I made some
jokes, pretending to let him have it but ultimately rejecting, for
it was something I myself had apparently worked hard for, mak-
ing it to sound that he's given only his time in search of this trea-
sure, and that time alone was not enough, for I myself had given
up not only my time but had sacrificed everything I else I once
owned.
“PORTAL THIEF”
12/11/2012
I was crawling along the basement floor when I squeezed
through a square opening in the wall, which was barely large
enough for me to fit through. After entering the hole I appear
crawling through the other side where I was then crawling
through the front door and onto the porch of a clean, rich-like
brick house in a sunny neighborhood. Even after having come
from the crawlspace, which was apparently a teleportation device
sort of thing, I kept low to the ground, crawling still. I moved
through the neighbor’s yard in an army crawl, sneaking around
their hedge bushes and several lawn statues of angels. I procured
one statue for myself, being all I could carry, and crawled back
the door I came from. I fed the angel through the hole before
entering myself, then appearing once more in my own dungeon-
like basement. Standing to my feet I could not see the statue,
however, I went walking toward a disparate part of the room
wherein was another square in the wall which housed my angel,
for it could not transport through the same hole as I.
Excited by the discovery that I was able to transport objects

from one dimension to another, I attempted to transport more
and more. Once I recall crawling around a bright, pastel-colored
nursery where I was feeling around on a table above myself, even-
tually pulling down a large stained glass portrait and taking it
with me into the portal-like crawlspace.
I built a small stock in my own house, however there was a

strange moment in this situation where I had thought that all
this time it had been a relatively new discovery for me that I
was able to do these things, however I uncovered a strange area
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under my ‘bed’ when looking for another place to house all of

my items, and apparently this area was a place I had used many,
many years earlier when doing this same thing, however it had
slipped my memory. I peeked under the bed in the dark, seeing
scattered statues, dolls, and evidence of a cloning machine. There
were dozens of naked dolls, military statues and equipment. Yet
that wasn’t all. There was something shoved so far back beneath
my bed that I could not make out what it was. I felt around in
the dark with my hands for the longest time attempting to grasp
it. Finally, I discovered it to be an accumulation of twenty-some-
thing human arms. I immediately recognized them. They were
the product of error. Whenever I would use the cloning machine
I would hold the doll or other items over the scanner and because
of this an arm would always be cloned along with the items that
I was holding.
After the shock of finding out how dirty and different of a per-
son I once was, I locked myself in the Londonberry bathroom,
and it was really a horribly suffocating bathroom. There were spi-
ders everywhere. The floor was a light, muted blue and covered
with afghans. It seems that all of this was meant to allude to my
childhood dog, which had gone blind and deaf in her final years;
and since my parents didn't have the heart to euthanize her they
shut her up in this bathroom for two years while she laid in a
daze among her own bodily waste up until the time of her death.
Eventually I made it back to the basement where I was ap-

proached by ‘siblings of mine’ (not in waking reality) who made
sexual advances at me. Eventually I broke away into the darkness
of an extra room and spent the rest of the dream locked away,
where the light was produced from a small television monitor
from which I watched the live feed from several surveillance
cameras.
“TRAGEDY”
12/13/2012
At the end I was standing between the kitchen and the recre-
ation room of someone’s house, speaking with a young woman.
She spoke of one who was maybe her husband or her boyfriend
who had died several years ago, likely more than a decade prior.
She spoke of his band ‘Quiz Wizard’ or later changing to ‘Giz-
zard’, smiling to herself in a sad way while looking to the floor, "I
dislike it, that often people will conclude that it is a tragedy that
he died at the age that he did, but that's not so." Going on to say
"Tragedy is not concerned with how you are forced to die, for
tragedy can only relate to how one lives their life.”
“Death is always against our will, and there is no tragedy in that

since tragedy is something going totally against what is expected
and anticipated. Tragedy is only in a life that is lived —
We have no great expectation of death, since death always under-

mines the will no matter the cause.
“Tragedy can only come of a life that is lived in a way that is

against the will; lived in a way that was so utterly far removed
from what was expected.”
Then she smiled, saying "But he had a good life."
She looked at me strangely, suddenly seeming as if a middle-age

woman unlike before, however she now looked truer to the age
that was conveyed by the histories provided by her account, say-
ing that if it would allow me to better enjoy my own life then
she would allow me to take anything I wanted from her house,
for she thought maybe I did not have enough belongings. She of-
78
fered suggestions, saying "You can take of what is mine, of what

is my husbands, of what is my son's, of any in this room and in
the next." I did not decline her offer, listening to her recommen-
dations and peering at the objects she would hold out while de-
scribing their quality and their purpose, however, I eventually
came to realize that I already owned all that I did see before me.
Now, these things present were not items I possessed in my phys-

ical life, and it was evident within this passage that these items
were symbolic devices, however I cannot recall many of those
that were present. I can recall perhaps a few games intended for
young children, I can remember certain strange ceramic vessels,
though all else were not so easily describable.
I looked around the room and realized I already possessed all of

these same items.
I was standing outside on the back deck, which connected to the

second story of the house, while some strange, pyramidal object
engulfed my head and upper body. It was soft and spongy, seem-
ing somewhat like a tent. We argued about altruism and the dif-
ferent degrees of care and compassion that are possible. Eventu-
ally he began using biblical definitions and I grew EEEEH of the
conversation. He would say, "This is the definition, since this is
what God says,” and I would respond bluntly with, "That is what
it says in a book." We decided to resume our conversation anoth-
er time as we were becoming frustrated.
I asked him, "Do you have black caramel?" He responded with a

moan, saying "That sounds good." Then I caught my error, saying
"Oh, no, my mistake, I mean black marshmallow,” Referring to
something that was supposedly distributed in capsule form, like
an herbal supplement.
“CELEBRATE THE RED MOON”
12/15/2012
I was searching through an odd little shop that was selling bottles
filled with strange concoctions. Each concoction showed a list of
ingredients and each seemed to be used for a different purpose. I
was most intrigued by the artwork appearing on the bottles.
The one which caught my eye showed a woodcut image of an un-

dine beneath the phrase “Celebrate the Red Moon.” I wasn’t en-
tirely sure why it appealed to me but I ended up purchasing it.
80
“FIREMAN FILMS”
12/17/2012
Standing in a dark and vacant parking lot in the late hours of
night by a kiosk when I was shown a short video clip that had
been shot within this same location perhaps a century earlier. It
was silent, it was black and white and sort of like a slapstick com-
edy, where somewhere between three and five men stood grip-
ping a long hose in an attempt to put out a fire that was not even
present. They flopped around due to the intense pressure of the
house and moved in fast, exaggerated motions while they strug-
gled to put out the nonexistent fire. I was told that this was the
rarest of all films and that if I could manage to get a hold of this
film it would be extremely fortunate.
As I mentioned already, this video had been shot in the very

location where I now stood. I was then shown additional clips
belonging to some of the others in the collection of ‘the rarest
films’, and it interested me to see that each of these videos in-
volved firefighters who were often frantically fighting an absent
fire.
I was befriended by a ‘father’ who was sometimes bald and some-

times had long hair. Something changed along the way and he
was chasing me outside of factories with his cronies. I ran into
a large and abandoned factory where in the center of the room
there was a large elevated platform and I had to take a large, spiral
staircase to get there. I ran into the platform hoping to escape
the man and his minions, with one of the other men following
immediately behind. However, once we had made it to this plat-
form, the both of us suddenly began walking in a circle around
the edge of this small level (maybe only 10x10 feet) and while
81
looking at each other with glaring gazes we sang fervently at full

volume. Apparently, once upon this platform, any who were here
were not able to do anything but sing, regardless of what they
were doing prior.
Another man then made it to the platform and began singing

with us. Along with the two who were chasing me there ended
up being about five of us standing there in total at the end—all
singing. Not all of these men were people that I recognized from
waking life, but everyone who I recognized was named John.
I am not sure how I escaped. I met up with some girl who was
constantly clinging to me, wrapping her arms around my tor-
so—so much so that it hindered my walking. Her head was so
close to my chest at one point and I became paranoid that she
could smell that I was a criminal. By the end of the dream we
were riding in a canoe across land, having somewhen overcome
my paranoia and embarrassment.
“SMACK-SLAM-SMASHER”
12/20/2012
I was sitting in some sort of lobby with some girl that I knew as a
teenager, although I cannot remember our conversations beyond
my explaining to him the many ways in which I had changed.
I sat hunched while speaking, pulling the hood of my jacket on
and off and on and off. She was upset that I had left her and be-
came distant. I think there were more occasions than one where
I forgot specific words and terms (something related to geome-
try).
At some point I left her alone while running off to the bathroom,
where I would spend most of the dream peering into the mirror.
There was a shelf above the sink and I can remember being pre-
occupied with something that I saw. I may have hidden some-
thing. I also remember playing with soaps and cleaning supplies.
After hours spent in the bathroom, I could see through the bath-
room window at my left-hand side that the girl who I was pre-
viously with had been walking nearby on the narrow passage be-
side this window. She was dressed in a swimsuit and I was con-
vinced that she was plotting to murder me. In fear of what she
might do, I opened the window and stepped out onto the ledge,
right into her path, pretending as if nothing had happened and
as if there was nothing to worry about. I didn’t want it to seem
that I was on to her.
I pulled out a book and placed it in her hand, pointing to an il-

lustration depicting several strange mutant creatures. The one to
which I pointed out was some hulking golem who was three per-
sons in one, but the three entities were not all visible from the
same side and wrapped around the body so that one was facing
83
in all directions. Showing the detail, I explained "It doesn't al-

ways have to be negative progression or reaction. It can also be a
strange one. Look, it’s Smack-Slam-Smasher!” And then the per-
son who was with the woman I sought spoke up enthusiastical-
ly, "Oh! I know about Smack-Slam-Smasher!" This was the name
of the golem which I used as an example, basically saying "Just
because we're unsatisfied doesn't mean we have to become more
aggressive, negative and embittered. Instead we can just become
stranger." But I was saying this in light of the direction that our
relationship was taking.
I was looking at a book with other three-tier weird things.

“Weird” was the alternative to “bad” if we couldn't have “good.”
“LONG BLANKET”
12/22/2012
I was walking along the roadway, trailing behind my fiancée who
was soon to leave on a trip, and I recall thinking that I had not
kissed her in all the time we were together, and so I was going
to kiss her before she left. Along the way, my father appeared
and began walking beside my lover to discuss some sort of busi-
ness affairs and I trailed behind as they conversed, maybe twen-
ty feet behind them, as we walked through long paths, through
run-down buildings and other abandoned places.
I walked with a long blanket dragging from my arms, and be-

cause the path I was taking was erratic, the blanket kept getting
caught as I climbed in and out of holes in the road, leaving a
strange trail wherever I went. On the way back I walked ahead of
them rather than behind, following my own blanket. I recall see-
ing apples growing from my blanket, and I plucked an apple and
waited for my chance to speak with my lover and kiss her.
I eventually returned to my house, and my father would not al-

low me leave the house, nor would he allow me touch any of the
possessions within it, threatening me if I did and accusing me of
being an ‘actor in an action film’ (which was his justification for
all of his hostility toward me).
85
“POTLUCK PICNIC SHUFFLE”
12/23/2012
I was sitting outdoors on a picnic table bench at a crowded
church potluck or something of that nature when I was ap-
proached by three or four young women who each took a seat at
my table (which was otherwise empty). They took a liking to me,
which made me feel very welcome considering I had been sitting
alone for so long. People then kept coming up to me seeking my
opinion. I continued to converse with these young women, how-
ever the pastor’s son, whose name was Tyler, did not like ‘what
was going on’ and put in a request to rearrange the seating—a
request that was accepted by staff. Everyone was then forced to
stand and find another seat at a different table and could sit with
no one from their former table. There seemed to be more than a
dozen tables in total.
We were all instructed to find a vacant seat and sit down, and
it was all done very hastily and the seats were being filled in the
blink of an eye; yet instead of simply taking the seats that I want-
ed I was being very polite about it and I would ask the people al-
ready seated if they minded me sitting with them. Before I could
even get a response the seat was filled by another, and eventual-
ly I realized it was futile to keep asking and I just tried to grab
whatever seat I could. It felt like musical chairs, since every time
I would go to sit down, someone would appear from nowhere
and take my seat. At the end, it became clear that I had lost, since
every seat had been filled and there was no place left for me.
Feeling very out of place, I walked back to the main church

building and stood in the darkness of the foyer. I stood dazed
and disturbed in the corner as I formed small balls of lightning in
86
the palms of my hands. My eyes stared down the empty hallway

with a delirious rancor and anyone making their way through
the building to use the bathroom or to fetch something from the
kitchen would see me standing there in darkness and end up feel-
ing threatened.
My parents eventually showed up and they whispered to me

about having brought bottles of liquor and other alcoholic bev-
erages, but they wouldn’t give me anything due to the risk of be-
ing caught by church security. I pointed out that I was wearing
a robe-like jacket and that I could easily hide a bottle within
its folds. They agreed and I was handed a bottle of liquor and
promptly disappeared into the nearby bathroom.
I spent a while standing around in the dark and dingy bathroom

in which there was a bunk bed, a shower (wherein I kept my al-
cohol), a toilet and a mirror. I stared in the mirror for a very long
time. I watched myself becoming thinner and thinner. At one
point I recall hearing James Brown playing in the background,
though upon waking I realized it to be the sound of my alarm
clock.
In the end, something or someone had come to get me out of

the bathroom and all I remember after that point is standing
on an outside porch with the bright sun shining on me. I was
wearing only swimming shorts and staring at my reflection in the
window, thinking back on my time in the bathroom, and I real-
ized that I had gained some weight since then. As I stood on the
porch I recall trying to make out the sounds of a small parade or
procession underway on the next street over.
“TELEPORTER”
12/23/2012
What was probably one of the most interesting and most vivid
dreams of this period was mostly forgotten due to a failure on my
part to write the damn details down immediately upon waking.
The only details I can recall are that I was somehow gifted with
the ability to teleport, but there was a catch: I could only tele-
port to places where there was a domestic pet, or dog. So there I
was, vanishing and reappearing all over the world just next to a
different dog on each occasion.
At one point I was hiding in a grocery store from an old girl-

friend and my father would not stop using the word “literatim”
and it was bothering me so much that I... I guess I probably tele-
ported to some distant yard with a dog in it.
88
“THEATER OF FEVER”
12/29/2012
I was in a dark theater environment. I don’t recall the specifics,
but I ended up disqualified from some competition after break-
ing some rule. The details are foggy, but I may have changed my
shape so that I resembled a woman and attempted to gain access
to a secret area in the building. It seemed I had gotten away with
my act so I didn’t realize that others had caught on. I was seat-
ed in the audience of the theater waiting to hear the announce-
ments. This was how I learned of my being disqualified from the
competition. They had filmed me acting strangely and breaking
the rules and showed it on the screen as a warning to others, but
everyone was finding it funny.
There was an entire row (or several rows) within the theater in
which only twins were permitted to sit. After the film ended, all
of these twins stood up and began speaking loudly and in charis-
matic voices about the joys of being a twin before making their
way to the exit. There were two exits: the standard exit and the
one which was only for twins (although both doors seemed to
lead to the same place)
When leaving the theater I stood before the two doors, finding
it unusually difficult to decide between the exits. I finally chose
to walk through the Twin Exit, and on the other side stood Flo-
rentin to greet me. Together we went walking down the sidewalk
and it was then that we came across the man who I believed was
responsible for ousting me from the competition.
The two of us quickly restrained him and forced him into a large
bag, which we then dragged through the parking lot. We set the
89
bag on the ground behind a car and began to kick where we be-
lieved his head would be, but as we noticed his wife and children
walking through the area we paused and stood still. We then be-
came anxious and left the man screaming on the ground while we
walked off to look for Florentin’s vehicle, trying our damnedest
to appear inconspicuous. I remember Florentin expressing frus-
tration as he succumbed to paranoia.
”Oh no. Goddamnit. That’s my car.” His face was rigid and ner-
vous.
“Where?” I asked, and he responded through the side of his

mouth, “To the left of us.” He was trying not to look at it—for
reasons unknown to me. It was light blue in color and as we
walked nearer he motioned to me, wanting me to get in first. He
was very paranoid.
He passed me the keys, telling me to “Get inside and turn it

on.” So I sat in the passenger’s seat and leaned over to turn the
keys, however, when the car started up the radio came on at
full volume and some strange flute/trumpet blast began blaring
through the speakers. Startled by the cacophony, I immediately
turned the car off, telling him I couldn’t do it. He climbed into
the car, turned the radio down and we drove off, though as we
drove off we could still hear the man’s strange screams in the dis-
tance, occurring like clockwork every set amount of seconds. He
screamed in a shrill and terrorized squeal, sometimes wordless,
sometimes yelling the words “515! MIGHT GOD SAVE ME!”
As we drove to my house in the late hours of night we passed by

a roadside motel, and on its sign I saw written the words “515!
Might God Save Me!” in large letters. All the way back we could
hear a cacophony of the man screaming, a horn-siren blaring
through the air and cell phones in our surroundings playing this
same disturbing sound... that noise was issuing from everywhere.
What I considered to be my apartment was really just another

type of theater lobby, and when walking up to what was suppos-
edly my ‘front door’ I saw a sign had been posted which implied
that I no longer lived there (my name had been smeared) and
that the property was for rent. I was told to take up any issues or
complaints with the manager and so I went walking down to the
main “office.” I saw that there was a bit of a queue and so I ex-
pected to be waiting for a while, though someone allowed me to
go on up ahead and I was to meet the manager who appeared to
me like some sort of “space commander.”
He reached out to shake my hand but immediately retracted it,

making a comment about how he would not shake my hand due
to a virus in my system and that I needed to go drink plenty of
fluids to flush it out of my system. He began running over ra-
tios and instructions: “To urinate as much as is required you will
need to drink either three cups of X, ten cups of Y, or its equiv-
alent in thirty cups of Z,” and he appeared to be amused while
saying all of this.
At my right-hand side there were several children sitting at a

small table who overheard the “commander” speaking of bev-
erages and, without having any understanding of what we were
actually discussing, began rattling off drinks and food items. I
turned to them and kindly remarked on their ability to list so
many food items and they responded with “Well, we eat them
every day! We can eat anything we want to eat.”
And regarding the man’s instruction to drink plenty of fluids: I

came down with a fever on the day following this dream. Also,
what I thought to be a man’s scream in the dream was influenced

by my alarm clock, which was the sound of a very strange flute.
“FORMICATOR”
12/30/2012
Florentin and I were walking through some large department
store. As stated in my entry written immediately upon waking, I
wrote that I was looking for something, something that was "not
candy; was not music, but it reminded of both." We were ban-
ished from the store because I had been gliding around upon the
floor and disturbing the customers.
The two of us arrived at a small, trailer-type building and we

stayed here for several nights. Most of that time was spent sitting
around a table having discussions, although I have no recollec-
tion of what we spoke about. I remember sleeping here, and one
morning I awoke and I believe they were eating or had just eaten,
I was getting ready to leave and I walked over to the wall near the
entrance and touched one of the strange ceremonial tools hang-
ing from the wall, one which I believe made a loud, resonating
chime, and when I reached for it Lajos appeared from behind
and halted me saying "No, you are not to touch that." When I
asked him why, he said that it was because he had watched me
all week walking in my sleep in the middle of the night and said
that on the previous night I had sleep walked over to this same
item and began fooling with it and that is why he didn't want
me touching it anymore. I remember then sitting at a corner on
the floor by a window and a small table with the white wall be-
hind me. We then left for a festival by foot. While the two or
three of us walked among this fair/festival I can recall something
to do with several concession stands and kiosks, and some vague
thing about witnessing some particular dark-skinned creature, in
some way resembling a gorilla, dismembering people, and after I
93
watched it dismember several I went and dismembered the crea-

ture itself.
One person stated his dislike for me, saying that I walked around
in public like a ‘superhero’. I looked at the signature of the man
who made this comment and recognized the name as being that
of a fictional superhero, though I cannot remember who. There
were some individuals leaving comments on this place wherein
they were posting pictures of knitted outfit and knitted caps, try-
ing to get me to sew and knit in a way like I’ve never done be-
fore, saying they were from a different place but when I would
try to follow their online address it would say the address was ei-
ther nonexistent or was deleted.
I was walking through a toy store. At first I was with my mother,

but then I walked off alone where I had come to an aisle where,
while reaching for something there was a small child, a timid girl
who was approaching some small container on the floor of the
aisle in the place where I stood. While very shy about walking
near me, she approached the bin and began rummaging through
small toys. For some reason she turned to me and started ex-
plaining to me how this was her only chance, how she only gets
to pick a single toy. I believe she was an orphan and this oppor-
tunity would not come for her again. She had to step away for a
few minutes and would then return to the aisle to make her deci-
sion, asking that I guard the container on her behalf. When she
left the aisle I began looking through the content, noticing that
there were several broken pieces among the lot, and so I took sev-
eral minutes to discard all broken objects; clay body parts, plastic
pieces and unknowable debris. I took the time to hide all these
broken pieces in a corner at my left-hand side, dumping them be-
hind something so that they were obscured. I did this because
she was not able to select the toy in a normal way, instead reach-
ing her hand in and pulling it out as if a claw machine, and be-
cause she only had a single chance, I wished to eliminate the pos-
sibility that she would pull out some broken or inoperable toy. I
finished doing this just before she returned, and since I wanted
her to obtain the best toy that she could get I dumped all the toys
out onto the floor and spread them out so that she could get a
better look, though I then realized how there were relatively few
remaining, perhaps a dozen, meaning that there had been more
broken pieces than I had originally thought, and after I removed
them there wasn’t all that much remaining.
Later on in the evening I was standing in some room in which

strange and insightful texts were being projected onto the while
via a projector. When going over have a look at the projector, I
saw that it was not a page of text but a single ant that was gener-
ating these words. This ant’s body was somehow able to resemble
letters and even numbers when shone upon the wall. Each ant
was said to represent a specific person. I remember seeing an ant
enter onto the projector that I thought to be my own represen-
tative ant. On the wall I could see that its display was highly in-
triguing and that it utilized more letters and stranger words than
the rest, the text also being of a greater length than those previ-
ous entries. When I leaned over the projector to see this ant I
reached out my finger to touch it and realized it was split in the
middle, the ant. It was dismembered but still moving not unlike
a divided earthworm and this is likely the reason for why it had
such a wide variety of insight, for it was able to spell out more
words and create more shapes with its body in this dismembered
way. I was astonished and at the same time horrified at the way
that this ant looked, moving in the way that it did.
• Immediately before waking, a voice shouted in my ear saying "The

smith's apparatus is no longer of benefit.”
“SCHOOL SISTERS”
12/31/2012
I, along with four other girls, were invited to a private little
school building no larger than my own bedroom. It was quite
dingy, its walls composed of brown panels. I was causing prob-
lems for everyone with my apathy and neglect of my studies.
It seemed that I was ‘dating’ two of these girls at the same time.
They were sisters, no less, though I can only remember taking an
interest in the younger of the two. I recall an evening scene in
which I was in my house and looked out my window to see many
people sitting nude within this scrawny, dead tree. I paid it lit-
tle thought at the time and continued on my way. Later on there
was a knock at my door, and it was this same girl from class. She
was nude like the others, and by the time I answered the door she
had passed out.
The teacher then arrived and scolded me since it seemed to her

that I had lost my enthusiasm and because I appeared distracted
while she was speaking, playing with a plastic bag that contained
some strange, dark matter.
At the end we were all sitting Indian-style on the floor of a

small, dingy classroom. I was making some strange motion with
my head and upper body as if an animal about to vomit, and I
continued to make these strange, guttural and animalistic pants
from my mouth. It is possible that the others took after me. One
woman, who was older than the rest and seemed to act as the
leader or overseer, then exclaimed "Damn it, Tendon! I'm just
waiting to see you relapse!" in an angry and condemnatory tone.
This was not to say that she was actually waiting, or longing to
96
see such a relapse, but that she anticipated that this would hap-
pen due to my actions, which she regarded as strange and sinis-
ter.
“VEX AND VOX”*
01/01/2013
I was planting colored beans in a particular order around these
bushes in the front yard of this rich estate and he was very par-
ticular about their order. Otherwise it would be of no benefit to
him. The first beans that I was asked to plant were ‘flesh colored’,
before then moving on to a deeper pink.
A wind storm had started up after I had planted the first set and
I took off running down my street.
My house was a small, shack-like building with a flimsy tin roof.

The roof was giving out in the storm and so I ran to the large
house immediately to the left of mine, where as I was struggling
to approach this place, struggling against the storm, the man I
had hoped to see did peek out of the sidedoor.
Vex had a large X in the center of his forehead. He once took a

knife or scissor and cut it out, cutting a large hole in his brow.
Vex imposed upon people. He was often lying around in the yard
not far from where I slept, separated only by a row of bushes.
I wanted to see him for the fact that he was notoriously strong
and tall— a middle-aged man, and I knew he could grab onto
me and carry me to safety from the wind storm. Once he spotted
me, he called out for me, and despite my difficulties in reaching
him (due to the wind force) I made it close. But there were few
times where I was lifted from the ground and soared backwards
until gripping conveniently placed items and furniture. I asked
him to grip me and to carry me inside. “Why?” He asked. Final-
ly I said, "I will wrap around your leg,” to which he responded,
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"What will happen when I walk you inside? As soon as you let
go of my leg you will float around the house and be beyond my
control."
The wind storm was felt as strongly within the house as it was
outside. I made it inside where a party had been being held, and I
told him "I will likely float to one of the high shelves where I will
stay. From there I can watch the others enjoying their party and
I can piss freely."
There was a sort of shelf or lip just below the ceiling with the ca-
pacity to fit only a single, reclining individual.
I spoke up, asking if Vex was still on one of the shelves, then say-
ing "We've been looking for him. He's here?" they said something
about his X, and I said "No, he cut a hole in his forehead this
morning, I watched him do it. Now he has a deep crater and no
X, and they all exclaimed their surprise in the matter and seemed
to want to locate him.
To the left of my yard, within the field, was a hedge-maze, and

on the final day I was here there was a military sergeant walking
to the end of the maze where he reached into the hedgewall and
a bomb blew up in his face. Hearing this, this is how Vex and I
knew it was the New Year.
I recall being in a classroom watching several choral groups enter

in and perform for their respective teachers. Not only could I
myself not sing, but I can recall noting that one young woman
from each group sang in a way that was ‘amphibious’.
He approached me as I crouched in the mud, digging amphib-

ians from the dirt floor, smashing them together and pressing my
finger against their bellies.
Later I was in a small fast food restaurant, where I leaned back

against a wall surrounded by several people I had once known in
waking life. I was irritated at the people that I was with. Though
I was highly irate at those around me, at one point I began crack-
ing up with hysterical laughter when I looked over to the food
counter, seeing the people who were taking orders and how short
they were in stature. When some inquired as to why I laughed,
I said something like "X years ago no one would believe how
young and short our [...].”
The Teacher
The Strange Thief Girl
Several Johns
Car window church parking lot beating the back window. Break-
ing out of the school, meeting strange people, getting caught,
confrontation with teacher (lady from gas station). Mall with ce-
ramic floors.
“GOLDEN NUMERALS”
01/06/2013
A girl came to sleep over. I was looking through photographs
with everyone and I was the only one who was enthusiastic. Then
everyone started to walk away. I put on a red coat and some-
one commented, "You look like Cruella," and I responded saying
“Yeah... it's just me versus a hundred dogs.”
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“CHAPPED HANDS”
01/06/2013
"Stall for 95 seconds.”
Red 1 or Blue 2.
Spilling game pieces off edge of couch.
"My chapped hands aren't chapped anymore."
"I am a young king here upon a swing!"
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“SILHOUETTES”
01/07/2013
Hanging out in the bathroom again (?) loudspeakers. There were
silhouettes gossiping between two lawns in New Jersey across the
street at midnight. Two ‘fans’ I met in public. I wore a really cool
black outfit. One of the shirts was emblazoned with the face of
a Japanese man. I had something stuffed into my pocket and no-
ticed it when I was in the bathroom.
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“AMUSEMENT PARK & BEE”
01/11/2013
I visited an amusement park (with my family) for the first time
since childhood. I was timid at first, thinking it might spoil
my memories. I walked toward the entryway, walking ahead of
the others while I worked myself up in excitement. As I passed
through the gate I felt a whir from behind. I readily recognized
the nature of this sensation and knew it to be a bee. Without ever
turning my body, I felt as a single bee landed upon my left shoul-
der-blade, the skin of which was exposed. Then came one of the
most vivid sensations I have experienced in a dream, as I felt its
legs hooking into my skin and the flutter of its wings like I nat-
urally would were I awake. My sister then approached me while
I stood giggling, and she told me that she must remove the bee
from my back since it was not allowed to come with us into the
park. I then felt her hand grasping around my back for the bee,
and I could feel it as she struggled to remove it from my shoul-
der. After several seconds I began to hear vile sounds: sounds
made by something tearing, something being crushed and dis-
membered.
Her hand pulled away but returned soon after, although I recog-
nized she had removed the bee on her first attempt. Her efforts
had dismembered the bee into several pieces, since it was stuck
in my skin in several places, and she had to then pick out all the
residual pieces left in my skin. I was overcome with what may be
the strongest emotions I've ever experienced in a dream, and I
would not look back out of fear of seeing the dismembered in-
sect. My heart sank and I felt sick to my stomach. Eventually I
was standing with my mother beside a building within the park
105
later in the evening, though likely several days after the previous
incident. I stood waiting for the rest of my family to return from
a private attraction to which they had gone while speaking to my
mother about how we had already been in this place for three
days and that I had not been included in a single event despite
my excitement.
She went on to say that there was still time, though we would on-
ly be staying another day or two in this place before leaving. I list-
ed several attractions that I wished to ride, saying "What about
this!" And she would respond with excuses for why it was inap-
propriate or would not work for me—all of her excuses strange
and senseless. For example, she might say "But it might begin to
rain." To which I replied, "But if it rains we can just ride this wa-
ter cruise, which I imagine would be enhanced by rainy weather.”
But still she declined, speaking only of the shooting ranges that
she had been enjoying for these days with my father and sister.
Many of these rides I mention were actual attractions that I expe-
rienced in my childhood trips to Disney World (of which there
were two trips in total). By the end of the dream I had not been
permitted to ride even a single attraction, having spent nearly all
of my time standing around outside between buildings and of-
fering suggestions as to what would make for an enjoyable expe-
rience, although my every suggestion was ignored.
“MONSTER FROM EXPOSURE”
01/14/2013
I can only remember being driven back to my house by a friend
and their parent. I was in the backseat, riding in their convertible
in the late hours of night. Though I didn’t know where we were,
I suddenly heard the sound of barking dogs, and I told them
"Okay, my neighborhood is nearby." They asked, "How can you
tell?" and I claimed that I knew it by the barking dogs and pro-
ceeded to curse the dogs. I remember the parent attempting to
calm my anxiety and change my opinion, saying “Even an angel
can appear to us like a monster when we become overexposed."
We continued for a few miles before we stopped outside of my
house. The parent of my friend turned to say "Okay, we're here,”
and when they looked at me I was sitting in the backseat, a smile
beaming from my face while I was covered in soda crackers (and
crumbs) and holding a half-empty bottle of wine.
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“TRANSFORMING RABBITS”
01/15/2013
I wanted a pet and went off to buy a rabbit, but when I took it
home it would eventually turn into a dog. I discarded it and went
out to get another rabbit, but this one l did the same thing. Try-
ing to make sure it was legitimately transforming, to make sure
it wasn't a trick, I put some sort of blue outfit upon the rabbit,
and sure enough when this rabbit was later a dog it still wore this
same light blue outfit. I believe my sister was also a prostitute in
this dream and I was getting really bothered by her.
108
“THE INDA IANTIAN OF
MARIA”
01/16/2013
I broke down in a fit in front of my parents, telling them in a furi-
ous yet emotional manner that my sister should have "Gone back
to Japan.” That she should leave on a plane and should have "nev-
er returned to my house again."
Gliding across the floor when my father arrived home, riding on

my belly upon some rollerboard.
My sister came home holding a large store-counter type box con-

taining a couple dozen card decks of the same type, saying "These
arrived." They were apparently made by some woman who I had
stayed with previously and they were made up entirely of inside
jokes but with great, psychedelic artwork that she designed her-
self. What was notable about the pack cases was that there was
a mistake made in printing the cover, which was noted in length
and explained by my sister before she handed them to me, "This
man is supposed to be kissing himself, however, because of how
the cardboard folds, it’s disjointed and makes no sense." It was, as
I've said, some blonde haired man who was supposed to be kiss-
ing himself but whose top-half and lower-half of face were dis-
placed.
Of the cards I can remember, I recall staring at one that displayed

some strange image of a private fortress within a psychedelic jun-
gle-like setting, saying "The Inda Iantian of MARIA" [sic] at the
bottom of the card in bolded text. A second card I can recall was
like a sort of vortex where there were several legs fused togeth-
er whirling around through space, though I cannot remember its
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name. I remember saying "Wow, she is really something. Not on-

ly did she remember all of these things but the artwork is fantas-
tic.”
“TALK BOX”
01/16/2013
On a slope with church people and two small girls kept asking
things of me, then later it occurred to me that everyone was mar-
ried and I walked away.
My grandparents were sitting on the couch. I walked outside in

my harem pants, but my sister was also wearing harem pants and
that frustrated me, so I rolled my lit cigarette toward her and
said to monitor it while I changed clothes. I then ended up walk-
ing out in the parking lot where some family was just arriving
at this "event." The parking lots were laid out like Disney World
where there were different sections, and I met these people when
I walked a great distance. They said they had been traveling for
a long while on foot because they got there late, complaining
about the walking distance. I told them "I didn't have that prob-
lem because I got here at the start of the event and was able to
park in the Anita Section.”
The whole family was stoned out of their minds and their per-
ceptions were seemingly rubbing off on me. They were very
strange. The fattest son kept putting his arm around me while
they spoke. The others were a father and two other sons. Later
on I walked toward a tunnel area and saw two colossal girls, who
were apparently the same girl, and I said "Let me assume... this is
your daughter?" Of course what I was seeing was from her per-
ception. I also can recall having gotten lost in some aisle or hedge
with one of the other, skinny sons.
Later during my walk back there were some explosions in the dis-
tance that burnt up in the atmosphere, triggering some sort of
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burn-up only of this family, and I realized it was caused by the

cigarette I had left with my sister. I ran back and ended up at the
party I came from. I recall my mother making bets and offering
large sums of money if I would stay and hang out. This one lady
was making us enter competitions and I won and she said now
that I placed where I did I would have to, a week from now, have
my face painted with a specific design that made it look like I
had arms and hands coming out my mouth, as if someone within
my mouth was attempting to climb out, climbing out of l of my
mouth, however when she was saying these things she began hes-
itating, trying not to bother me in how she described it, as she
seemed slightly aware of my throat illness, but could not dance
too far around the premise of the face paint even though she was
trying not to say anything to upset me. After my face was paint-
ed she said I would have to walk across an aisle in this manner
for the sake of fulfilling my obligation. ‘J’ had a wife unlike his
own. She was younger with broken English, and she seemed a
lot more forward to where it bordered on promiscuous. I can re-
call her running around acting strangely. I then went for a walk
in the woods somewhere, walking around with some empty can
to my mouth that I was using as a talkbox. Doing some per-
fect rendition of a song (?) while shaping the can, scrunching it,
and changing the shape of my mouth and cheeks in enunciation
when I spoke. I messed up a few times and these were notable,
however most of it sounded absolutely perfect. I made it back to
the party and sat at the end of a rickshaw, listening to ‘J’ telling
jokes about leading some people to battle, where I began giving
witty replies and began calling him leader or captain and acting
like I would follow him into this battle. I then sat in the car seat
when his wife came by and saw my can. She took the can in her
hand and started going on "Oh! One of these! Oh!" and she put
it to her mouth and began making robotic noises for a moment
before returning it to me. I left with my family and I continued

performing house beats all the way home with this can.
“FILTHY PUNKS”
01/18/2013
Taking a walk in the field, then dogs, then (come back and elabo-
rate on this part). I was riding in the trunk of a car when I got out
and I can recall having shone some target laser pointer onto the
mountain. The people with me then tricked me and left, aban-
doning me in front of the store. It was a Target, and these punks
came out and started fooling around with me. One of them put
his arm around my neck and led me down the sidewalk with
my head in his grip. We went into the store and all the lights
were shutting off and they would not allow us through the lobby.
Saying they were closing down early because of some threats or
some terrorism scare on a local mountain (I believe it it was my
laser from before) and there was a long pause and I asked "Is it a
holiday?" and they looked at me dumbfoundedly and responded
with a terse "No.”
I had nowhere else to go and was stranded. The punks then in-
vited me to a party where I went and everyone was teasing me
or avoiding me, and I went to the bathroom with my backpack
and I pulled out hairspray and sprayed my hair and pissed. Then
there was a loud bang on the door and I was practically dragged
out under suspicion. The lady who owned the house demand-
ed to know what I was doing, saying "You weren't doing nor-
mal things, were you. I bet you were brushing your teeth." And
I swore I wasn't, but she persisted. She said "So if I smell your
breath then I won't smell my toothpaste?" and I said "You might
smell... old toothpaste, from seven hours ago.”
I was with two girls—the owner of the house and one who was
closer to my age. The homeowner insisted on smelling my breath.
114
Her whole demeanor changed after she smelled my breath and

her voice became curious, saying "You know what? You know
what it smells like? Do you know when you have a wooden neck-
lace hung from your wall and then take it down? That's exact-
ly it." And the other girl on the couch goes "Ohh, mmhmm!”
As though she knew exactly what that meant. And then I be-
came all enthusiastic, saying "Oh! Is it like those candy bracelets
where you bite the candy off the string?" And her whole expres-
sion dropped, and she became as irate and terse as the man who
I encountered in the store earlier, saying “No.”
“POISON DRIVERS”
01/20/2013
I was kissing a girl for what seemed like a very long time.
Early on I was doing yard work at Vernon’s house. Vernon didn’t

try to hug me. At his house I played "shape games'' with several
other girls and I recall walking around in only a swimsuit. They
recognized me but most of them were people I didn’t know per-
sonally. My father arrived and took me back home, and while
we drove we happened upon a terribly shady neighborhood. We
pulled up to a small information center that almost seemed like
a gas station with a mart. When my father stepped out and ap-
proached a few men to ask for directions, someone held him
at gunpoint and I watched from the window (there were two
guys). I couldn't do anything and I didn't know how to drive
away, though I noticed that they had already spotted me. One
of them came over to the driver's side, leaned through the win-
dow and asked me to hold out my right hand. Complying with
his request, I held out my hand and he took some black folded
belt and whipped my right hand. This resulted in him realizing
that it was a fake hand because I wasn't affected. He then looked
at me knowingly, recognizing that I was the criminal he suspect-
ed me of being, since he thought me to resemble the ‘thief with
no wrists’. This was why he slapped my hand, to test his hypothe-
sis. He nodded to me in a way that seemed to express honor and
respect, as well as allowing me to pass, and then he returned to
what he was doing previously.
While they were still holding my father at gunpoint, I got up

and walked through the parking lot to the large building at the
end and sat in an area that was like a lobby which also may have
116
served food. I sat in a booth for a bit and there was a group
of several young women who flirted with me. I ended up kiss-
ing one of them, yet the kiss lasted so long that even during it
I was thinking how unusually long and vivid it was. Even the
other girls around seemed surprised, though this girl was no one
identifiable to me. Looking at the window after all this time had
passed, I noticed that my father was still being held up and in-
terrogated out front, so I stood up and decided to go and rescue
him from the robbers. I went to tell the girl from before that I
was leaving but accidentally mistook another girl for the one I
had kissed (not good), and then eventually found the right one.
When I went outside and asked that they return my father they
complied and let him leave. While walking away, I turned back
to one of the criminals and held out my hand, saying "One more
time just for fun?" (for his sake) and he got a big smile and said
"Oh-Kay!" and slapped my hand with his belt all enthusiastically.
When we went into the car I was somehow too large for the seat
and so I had to lean the seat as far back as it would go. My father
was acting erratic on the way back, supposedly from the stress he
endured at the hands of the muggers. On the way back he pulled
the car into some outdoor market in the middle of nowhere, ac-
cessed only by a long winding dirt road. All of the food was al-
ready bagged and he stole about three or four bags without say-
ing a single word. Though I was unsure of what we were doing,
I got out and grabbed a few things myself, yet they were all little
pastries, maybe four little packages.
Then we kept driving back and ended up in this yard with tons of
dogs. When passing by I did something to poison one of the pas-
tries and tossed it into the crowd of dogs and they became sick so
I had the car speed away and I was afraid to come back because I
would have now been discovered by the owners.
“BAT FACTORY”****
01/21/2013
Florentin and I walked along a road in the late hours of night.
The road was surrounded by woods on both sides, but it was a
steep drop so we had to be careful, and at the end of the road was
a sort of factory.
I walked all this way with Florentin nearby, however I paid little
attention to him as I walked and it seemed more a coincidence
than anything that we were with each other. Suddenly a loud
gusting force filled the corridor ahead and the entire aisle was
flooded with some apocalyptic burst of pressure, and I managed
to escape this thing just barely by staying close to the side of the
path. It lasted only near ten seconds before ceasing, the aisle be-
coming still once more. Florentin and I looked around baffled,
having noticed that some of the persons walking ahead of us had
been taken out in this gust, their bodies dead to the world and
nowhere to be found, for this thing was guaranteed to be fa-
tal. The two of us ducked off the central path and sidled along
the edge just before the level dropped into the forest, though we
were still walking within the edge of the trees, moving in and out
trying not to fall downward. After maybe a minute we heard that
familiar noise again, the force returned to the channel. I could
now make out the scene, noticing that this was a swarm of bats
flying by in erratic fervor, taking out anyone who stood on the
road. They worked on a timer, coming every minute with a terri-
ble noise.
Standing in the aisle from the road to the factory. There were
tree lines and forests and bats flying on the path. I didn't know
they were bats at first. They flew on a timer and it was fatal if you
118
were hit. Florentin and I ducked right off the main road, stand-
ing just at the edge right before tumbling off the forest drop-off.
Eventually, in the main plant, I climbed atop some large platform
in what looked like a warehouse. Then this large beastly entity
came walking around the floor, walking in laps around the plat-
form while making some very strange noise. It was so iconic and
had three particular noises repeated again and again. I pulled out
a controller and began pushing an X button as hard as I could
wanting to eject myself from the dream, saying "This is too much,
I’m out." But it did not work, and he kept growing taller so that
he was almost of the height where he could reach over the plat-
form. Then a screen began to play wherein a mother was spread-
ing something on their child's food items and a voice was teach-
ing about dopamine and its effects on the body and mind. Then
suddenly when the video ended the beast admitted to defeat and
did not even think to harm me.
Arranging floor boards. Florentin getting picked off by the bats?

Gambling.
“WORLD OF STAIRS”
01/25/2013
Walking in the dark through Escher-like stairs with my father,
going through tunnels and paths. I said “Why not go through
here...” and he said because there is a wolf who walks this lain,
and I peered through a hole in the tube and saw it and became
so frightened that I turned back, abandoning my progress, and
went walking up these narrow stairs that were almost tight cir-
cles, so tightly wound around the column, and other people were
there passing? And after a while and a million stairs and bridges
and platforms I made it up to the very top of the location where
there was the room of my girlfriend and her family. It had tak-
en me seemingly a decade to get all the way up here and I has
brought them gifts, and I walked in their door and greeted them
and started to sit down when I then realized I was unwelcome,
and they all looked at me sympathetically because I had to leave
(though I was unwelcome, they recognized the unfortunate cir-
cumstance of having traversed this long way for no reason), the
father was not allowing me to stay. I did something that I can not
remember, saying "Let me just say one thing.”
I left, slamming the door? And sat on the edge of the platform
with a small staircase and smoked a cigarette (the door was still
ajar but didn't notice until later) and while I sat there I had no
idea how to travel any further, and realized there were still high-
er platforms that were inaccessible, even though I thought ear-
lier on that this was the highest place. A girl walked by while I
smoked my cigarette but none of us said anything to each other
and I was worried that she would feel threatened by me because
of how I looked and that no one was around so I made sure
120
not to speak to her. When she walked past, I remember looking

down to put out my cigarette and noticed several other butts be-
neath me where someone else had smoked, and I discarded my
butt here. Then the girl came walking back down the path, this
time with a dog on a leash, and still I tried not to make her feel
uncomfortable. Then when she passed I stood up and walked
forward, looking at the path she walked, yet there were only so
many parts on the floor and so many huge gaping holes where
if you fell you would plummet perhaps forever. And some areas
had no beams, but she walked them anyway I then realized some-
thing, saying "—— are the beams! —— are the rungs''( a cer-
tain trait or emotion, I.e. Love?) and I realized that just because
I couldn't see them didn’t mean I couldn't traverse them, and I
went making my way over the invisible floor using strange refer-
ences to guide myself
Smushed dog faces?

“...AND THE WRATH OF GOD”
01/30/2013
I exited the house, stepping out onto a narrow porch that
wrapped around the building. There were several round tables
set up to the left of where I stood and they were being prepared
by others. There were maybe two dozen individuals on this deck,
and if you took the short set of steps down you would come up-
on a large field which was almost completely obscured in dark-
ness from where we stood on the deck, except for little torch
lights that were lit every fifteen or so feet.
That was where you would find most of the people, who were
communing in the darkness. I recall having spotted Florentin
and Lajos sitting at the far end of the deck at the point where
it wraps around the corner, and when I first came outside there
was a song blaring loudly from a personal stereo system. It was a
silly song, from what I recall: something intended for providing
motivation. I can't remember the specific details, though there
was one point in the song that apparently left me what felt like
an opening, because every time this part would play I would
change the words myself, shouting out in a rageful voice "...AND
THE WRATH OF GOD." And because Florentin and Lajos
were laughing hysterically in response to my actions, I ended up
doing it again and again whenever that specific part would play.
Lajos wore a large grin on his face, and though I cannot remem-
ber what he said but the implication was that he would go and
tamper with the torches, and as so, I watched him creep away
down the stairs and Florentin and I watched from our small table
as he stood waiting at the bottom for some perfect opportunity.
Because I was reclined in my seat, my back was against the seat
122
and my legs were arched, and I can recall that Lajos was doing
something that should not be done, and when Florentin noted
my concern he feared that I would say something to one of the
maintenance persons (or, staff ) just next to us, so he reached out
with his hand, dug his fingernail under some sort of scab or cal-
lus that I had on my kneecap, gripped it and then held on to it
while it was still half connected, silently threatening me that if I
did something he would rip it off. He gripped this thing for sev-
eral minutes while we waited, and then he said something a lit-
tle bit too loud, saying something about chaos like "Chaos is a
sure thing." And this got the attention of the staff who were set-
ting the table, a woman responding to him in a preemptive sort
of way, and then another man of staff leaned against the back of
our seat, noticed that Florentin was gripping my scab and some-
how got him to loosen his grip by shooting him a glance, when
then I looked to this man and gave a quiet sign of gratitude.
Neighbor in Jersey? Shy about asking her if she wanted some-

thing or if I could borrow something? Got out of the car with my
family. (I stood there stalling for a long time with a nervous de-
meanor). Then we drove to a movie theater to meet with one of
my mother's friends. I took off down the sidewalk and ended up
getting held-up by a couple of criminals but talked my way out of
it.
“WHEELCHAIR FINALE”
02/04/2013
There was a tournament: some long, arduous series of challenges
that I was required to undergo in the name of becoming the
champion or some such. Though I had conquered all challenges
up until this point, I ended up on the floor of what seemed
like a ballroom, confined to a wheelchair due to all the injuries
I sustained in the tournament thus far. I was surrounded by
many men—some of them judges, some of them failed oppo-
nents—when one judge spoke charismatically and congratulated
me, saying “You've done it! You've won! You've accomplished
such impossible feats! All that's left for you to do is to walk the
victory platform to accept your reward, and your status/title as
champion!”
There was one notable problem with this scenario: the platform,
which was like a catwalk, was only accessible after having ascend-
ed some long spiral staircase. I sat in a wheelchair at the foot
of the staircase staring up. The staircase was perhaps thirty feet
high, forming a helical turn until it reached an upper level that
led into the winner's hall. After several minutes of sitting still, ab-
solutely shocked at this outcome, one man let out a quiet laugh,
acknowledging the irony, and sighed briefly before coming upon
an idea, and spoke for everyone when he said "I'll tell you what.
This is the best that we can do,” he walked to the staircase and
pulled some small level that allowed a ramp to stretch out so that
I was allowed to skip perhaps three or four of the bottom stairs in
my condition, bringing me onto the small landing between turns
in the staircase. Even with this help I was still left without any
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means to ascend the remaining two-dozen steps. The dream end-

ed like this.
“ARTWORK NETWORK”
02/05/2013
Sitting at an outdoor table with a plate where I proceeded to eat
small shreds of banisteriopsis caapi vine before eventually com-
ing to my senses and realizing that I was doing something horri-
bly stupid. I spat out all the shreds that were still in my mouth
and spent a while trying to convince myself that I had not swal-
lowed any, and then once I was able to convince myself of this
I began worrying that the psychoactive properties of the vine
would leave small effects from having been absorbed through my
tongue and saliva.
I went inside my house and headed toward my basement room,

though I stopped briefly in some hall and spoke to some young
woman, from this conversation I can recall making the comment
"This is ridiculous. I can't ever dream any more without learning
that I'm dreaming. You know, sometimes I would just rather be
a passenger." I walked into my room and stared at my wall, firstly
noting the artwork displayed on the wall which was exclusive to
this alternative reality.
Suddenly I knew that if I were to walk as though I was going to-

ward the utility room next to my bedroom that I would instead
find myself in a large, secret hallway that contained the majori-
ty of my dream-exclusive work. I walked into this place, gazing
at the pictures upon the wall, perhaps a hundred, and at first I
was rather excited but then became slightly disappointed with
the lack of variation.
They were painted in an unusual style unlike my normal artistic

style, and I can still remember these pictures rather vividly. Most
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of them were anatomical and predominantly of a dark burgundy

color. Didn't want to look at the way I portrayed my throat be-
cause I was already anxious from the caapi vine, but then no-
ticed that my neck and throat in these images was commonly
portrayed wrapped in the tubing system as seen on the Winter
Owner album.
Many of these photographs depicted demonic women. One

photograph, in particular, depicted a demon woman and red dog
in a red desert background upon some mecha or tank-like ma-
chine.
As I returned to my room I was looking around for anything

else that was out of place and found an extra album laying
around—one that was apparently from 2007. It was called some-
thing like ‘Burning Altar’ and I opened up the insert to find a
photograph of myself from 2007 where I was sitting in my room
very strangely and my face was not nearly so gaunt as it would
eventually be. I even remarked at some apparent make-up I was
wearing on my cheeks that seemed as if they were there to make
my cheekbones seem sunken when they weren't naturally. Then
in this picture I noticed there was a mirror in the background
and it seemed it had a certain embossed texture on the image. I
then pressed my face up against the photograph and realized that
if I tilted the page in different ways while watching this mirror
that the reflection would show more of my surroundings than
was actually in the photo. I was so fascinated by this that I ran
upstairs and began showing it off to my family.
I took the time to scan a lot of this artwork, and I spent a while
attempting to network my computer in the dream with the one
of reality where I then reserved a special folder for all artwork,
songs and documents that I might find in dream.
Incomplete recollection: seeing Scarlet (childhood dog), getting

teary-eyed, finding it strange. At a small party. Grandfather with
sticker sheet and obsessions. Space station tunnel, perhaps where
I woke up? Some man was flying through the tunnel in an appar-
ent parody of someone else. Started waking up at one point but
forced myself back into the dream. Rubbing back. Giving people
my artwork. Cool red flecks on background, black paper, draw-
ing of me and a demon woman hung beneath where my black-
light is in reality.
"Make sure this gets to me."

“GLADIATOR CHARMS”
02/07/2013
I was spending the holidays with my family, which included
my grandparents. Everyone was quite irritable and even seemed
wary of me.. I was avoided and estranged for a while due to this,
and eventually I came into the dining room in order that I might
do something I've now forgotten. Having maybe put something
upon my head and taken it off, I was then left with the unexpect-
ed effect of seeing doubles of everyone in my surroundings. I let
out a loud laugh, saying “There are two of everyone!” and those
who were already suspicious of my strange behavior then walked
away promptly. Out of these several persons only my father was
curious of what I was saying, asking "What is my double doing?"
And I pointed over toward the door, saying "He's by the entry-
way, waiting to leave, wearing a pale coat with a green accesso-
ry!" When turning back around, my enthusiasm dropped when
noticing that all persons had been reduced to their single-selves
once more. "Well, that effect wore off quickly." I said disapprov-
ingly and walked away into a private bedroom, but not without
first exclaiming "Why was there no double of myself ? If there
could have only been a double of myself I would have ran to him
and played with him."
Once in the lower level of the house, my grandmother took me

aside, along with someone else who might have been my Asia or
was at least supposed to be such in the dream, and held out both
of her hands-her palms bearing two small ring-boxes-and offered
me an option. It was quite evident that one of the boxes were of
a distinctively larger size than the other, however, for whatever
unknowable reason I opted intuitively for the smaller of the two
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(the second being passed down to my sister afterward). Open-

ing the casing I discovered what resembled a miniature gladia-
tor's helmet upon a thin chain.
She explained to me that this was technically a ‘romantic’ item;

one that could be likened unto those necklaces that are split in
halves, each half being worn by lovers or by friends. I looked
quickly to see that the person who received the larger box this
moment had in fact received a product that was quite surprising-
ly smaller than my own, when then without any hesitation I in-
stinctively began eating the red crest of the helmet, thinking it
candied, and walked away with it hanging from my mouth with-
out a word further. (KISSING ON BED)
I searched high and low throughout the household for a partic-

ular item, and shortly thereafter I amassed all sorts of seemingly
random items: houseplants, spices or spice-racks, and a bird cage
complete with two vibrant lovebirds. I've not the faintest idea
what I did with these things. I eventually ended up lost in a long
basement passage, stumbling in the darkness over rubble and an-
tiques. When I tried to find the door from which I had entered
I learned that all of the entryways had been blocked with these
large, disgusting spiderwebs. I ended up getting stranded in the
wall for a while trying to figure out where I had entered from, as
I assumed any of the doors that were covered with spider webs
couldn't possibly have been where I entered from, or else I would
have torn the web.
I stood in the center of some strange backyard where strangers

drew large chalk circles on the grass, creating an island with my-
self at the center. When all was done, a small white dog was
loosed from one man's hands and came running at me, barking
viciously in spite of its size (and mine). While it was very much
alive, it seemed that its activity was powered by a turning key

(like a wind-up toy). As far as I can remember, I picked it up, per-
haps by its ears or by its skull in general, and held it out at the
length of my arm, scowling as it continued to bark.
At the very end I was in the basement when from on this same
floor level I could hear the sound of live music being played just
beyond a partitioning wall. I asked in an outwardly enthusiastic
way "Is that Trece!?" and ran through the doorway to see four
men, Trece included, practicing a set (which was strange since I
don’t recall him being a musician). While watching the perfor-
mance, I could hear my family mocking my excitement and how
I reacted to seeing Trece.
“GEOCHAMBER”
02/08/2013
I was locked in a storm chamber, where I was being tested with
natural disasters one after the next.
There was a dog with blood all over its head. My mother locked
me in the car; however, I turned this around on her and our po-
sitions became switched.
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“WORLD-END RADIO”
02/08/2013
I was standing in the desert beneath a terrible sky, lowering my-
self into what was a sort of mecha robot. Standing in some
strange control tower, there in the darkness where I watched
through the wide window shield.
Then I was traveling with a group of people in a car, telling some-

one "I'm a twenty-two year old man now and may leave when I
want."
Hearing some pastor on the radio. A semi-truck drove by with

my mother and sister inside it and those who I was with in the
car were making comments.
In the latter part of the dream, after returning home, I retrieved

a large CD binder from the mailbox which someone had mailed
to me. I took it into my room all excited, opened it up and said
"Damnit, all of these are Christian CDs.” Then I awoke.
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“EVENING SONG VENUE”
02/10/2013
One of the most aberrant events in the longest time-this con-
cerns the dream not so much as the sleep process. While it's not
uncommon, I was rather tired and did begin dreaming before I
fell asleep.
Once asleep, over the next hour I would wake up no less than
four times, though never losing the dream. I had a horrible case
of sleep paralysis, as well as one of the worst cardivents in my ears
that I can recall having.
I was sitting in some musical venue watching an ‘Evening Song’

band perform and I can remember commentating on their inclu-
sion of the trumpet. As far as I remember it was a duo; one man
and one woman and I can recall their overuse of the word ‘black’
(which I thought made them seem like they were ‘trying a little
too hard’).
I walked to the back of the venue where there was some large hall
in evening shades. I leaned against the wall near a door, waiting
for it to open, when Anita came out, surprised to see me stand-
ing there. She was busy at the moment with work, which was the
case with myself as well, however I had crept away for this op-
portunity. I pleaded quietly with her to accompany me when we
were both done with our obligations. She claimed that she still
might be a while, perhaps as late as midnight, yet I continually
told her that this did not matter. When it felt as though she was
drawing it out endlessly, I leapt from off the floor and landed on
her, both of my legs wrapping around her legs and my arms wrap-
ping around her torso as though I was some small sort of child.
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I can recall looking up to her expression in this moment where

there was apparently some odd spatial shift, making me feel so
small where I was, seeing from this lowly perspective. Looking at
my behavior, she then smiled at me and said "If you don't mind
waiting then I would love to." With great joy in my expression I
rose up, back into a more adult-like posture and kissed her where
she stood, though in some gross fate my alarm clock sounded off
in this very second. This was quite literally a two or three sec-
ond kiss before some horrible cacophony began blaring from the
loudspeaker, and surely half of this time I was already able to hear
my alarm clock during the kiss and I thought "No, no, no, no."
“GOOD! FOR! YOU!”
02/11/2013
A man from my workplace stopped by with his child at my New
Jersey home. We began flying in the air, near to the high trees as
if we were kites. It wasn't that we were flying or able to fly in the
way that birds do,: it was something specifically correspondent
to the trees I believe? However his children were impressed with
my display.
The child was holding my hand and got us to swing our arms
back and forth, and he would hug my leg while I walked. We
were at the bowling alley, and someone stepped into this place
that we had apparently known from somewhere (I don't know
who it was though, not in reality)
I noticed just then that a woman was walking toward the alley
and spilled her drink all over her shirt as she was walking though
she continued walking as though nothing happened.
When I was saying goodbye to everyone I stood on the sidewalk

while they walked to their car, yelling "GOOD! FOR! YOU!"
in a very loud manner, and the children began to cheer. For some
reason this was thought to be my tagline, like if I was a character
in popular media who had a special catch phrase.
Mother deceiving me with monetary allowance, never paying

back the money she borrowed from me even though she
promised to give it back this week. Instead she said "I can only
do 10 dollars.” (she owes me several hundred, in reality).
136
"You're a liar, a deceiver, a murderer, a criminal, an animal..." (I

think I thought at the time that I was listing off the ten com-
mandments and that she was found guilty of them all).
And when I was saying this I believe it to have been conjuring

some large cross behind her on which Jesus hung, and I think
that the more I yelled the more likely it was that it would fall and
crush her
It was one of the most jarring moments of a dream, where when

one shouts, there is always such overwhelming emotion behind
it in dream that it feels to shake the earth. I cannot think of
an occasion of having been shouting in a dream where it hadn't
seemed so ultimately and overwhelmingly ... earth quaking, ping
ant.
“HORSE AND CAMEL”
02/11/2013
I was riding in a car at night down some quiet road, Anita dri-
ving, and I believe we were leaving the country or moving or
something of the sort. As we drove, I can recall the headlights
shining upon a camel, and as we passed this animal by, I became
all hyper and excited, saying "Hey! It was a camel! Did you see
the camel? What is a camel doing here?" and she started laugh-
ing, saying "I bet you want me to turn around and to go toward
it." I shook my head enthusiastically, and so, she turned around
and we tried to find this camel in what little light the headlights
emitted. Eventually it was within view, and I said "There it is,”
and our car slowed down to where it was in awe, when she said
"That's a horse." Indeed it was no longer a camel but a horse as
she said. When I turned to her to express my confusion, it was
no longer Anita but my sister.
The heart of he who is asleep.
The heart of he who is dreaming.
The heart of he who is a dream.
Three hearts beating one time, providing the energy and speed of
three hearts. I ran through the field like some manic predator. I
said this heart thing was possible because I was reenacting some-
one else's final thirty minutes of life. And I accelerated and sped
through this field so fastly that the world became blurred around
me, and the wind against me was providing such the strong force
that I remember almost throwing up and thinking I might begin
to panic.
138
“TOTAL LUCIDITY”
02/13/2013
I was standing with others around a backyard pool, although I

don’t know that I would call it a pool party. It was after dark, and
here among this group was a man with whom I used to play mu-
sic. He called out to me, attempting to gain my attention, and
I was asking how he had been doing over the past several years,
though I was a bit distracted, looking around over his shoulder.
He explained his injuries which had resulted from some acci-
dent. I think he might have broken his hand or fingers. I won-
dered if I should tell him about my health-related circumstances
but ultimately declined. I had to move on. And I said "Don't let
it get you down, hang in there man," and as I said this I took
his right into my grip and shook it enthusiastically, and a look
of horror came over his face, with him saying "You just barely
missed my problematic finger,” (even though I felt confident that
it was the other hand that was the problem, so that shows how
much I was paying attention) and I responded by saying "Yes,
this is because I KNEW I would not touch it,” and with that I
ran off into the night.
After leaving the pool and walking into the road, I noticed a sus-
picious man and so I walked back by the pool, though by now
everyone had left this little fenced area. Then I looked and saw
this man hopping the fence and coming at me, so I ran as fast
as I could into the house. He followed, but at a distance, and
I ran in a strange, very specific, even strategic, way through the
house, locking all doors and setting up traps and puzzles quick-
ly on my way out of each room. Finally I made it to the second
139
story bedroom, went over to the window, and I can remember

opening it by pushing in both of those buttons on the side and
then leapt out of the window on the second story. Then, once on
the ground, I realized this was probably stupid, since I was never
certain that he followed me all the way through the house, and
so it’s very likely that I was now closer to him than before. I no-
ticed a few people from the pool party standing around, but that
didn’t really matter. Then I took off by myself down the road,
walking at a quick but steady pace. Then at the intersection I saw
this man yet again, though now standing with another person
(they both looked like common college students, really).
The man from behind came to help me.
I spoke to ‘the accomplice’ sitting down on the ground or on a

log for several minutes in conversation.
I remember asking him "So what are your opinions on life so far?
What do you think of it?"
"What about it, specifically?"
"Nothing specific. Just a general impression."
While he thought of his answer I can recall looking over his

shoulder where I saw something on the side of the road, and I
can't remember exactly what it was (a tent? a fire? some rundown
thing?) but the strangest, most suspicious sensation came over
me.
I walked over to inspect said unknown object, and can recall hav-
ing been curious about the guy who helped me (Florentin?)
Suddenly, my lucidity was triggered. Day became night in an in-

stant and I was now standing on the same road as before, but
now alone. I recall making a joke to myself having to do with

dreams, but then said rather seriously to myself "Wow, this is a
dream. I'm in a dream." Then I realized I was in control of my en-
vironment if this was a dream, and realized I could do anything
in the world, anything at all. I quickly decided, "I can see Anita."
It was the most astounding sensation in life, for it wasn't only

that I was mindlessly coming to an awareness of the dream and
its definition, but my authentic waking mind entered into the
dream, where I had all of the rationalization, all of the concep-
tions of reality available to me. As commonly as I experience lu-
cid dreams, this is a rare occurrence.
The man may have become annoyed with me for asking ques-
tions, and began to fight me outside of the gas station while
he was on duty and carrying around boxes. Woman came out
and began yelling at him due to his conduct and said something
to me. The door to the gas station was cold and extremely
heavy—not unlike a meat locker door.
“That's it. I'm sure my opportunity won't last forever." I thought

to myself as time was running out to find Anita.
I then began yelling into the night:
“ANITA? IS THERE AN ANITA OUT THERE?"
Every time I saw a silhouette I would think that it was Anita ap-
proaching, though it never ended up being her. This happened
maybe half a dozen times and it was so demoralizing.
**Finally it was a black woman named Stephanie, who’s friend,

Anita, was following behind her, because Anita would not come
walking over to a strange man if Stephanie did not also.
Stephanie was all brazen "So what did you want for her?" Why
were you calling her?
"Oh. I'm sorry. I wasn't. I'm just rather partial to this name."
To which the other girl responded by saying "Me too,” in a sarcas-

tic and indignant tone... her eyebrows raised. She just has a hos-
tile and indignant attitude like I was some creep.
All of the silhouettes turned and looked at me for a brief mo-

ment, and then I saw her. I saw a silhouette walking toward me,
partially obscured, partially visible. I recognized her hair, I rec-
ognized her gait. She moved quietly and at a steady pace toward
me with her arms hanging at her side. I suddenly became over-
whelmed, overwhelmed more so than I already was, that she was
now coming toward me, I ducked a few feet over on the sidewalk
as if to tell her to follow me toward this less populated section
and I stood nervously at the side of a soda machine to regain my
composure.
"Yeah? You were calling? What do you want?"
It wasn't Anita.
"Hmm?" I said.
"You were looking for Anita?"
After realizing that I had summoned a stranger with the same

name I said, "Oh, no, I wasn't... haha, I was... I am... I sometimes
shout in that manner... I'm a bit fond of that name."
And she responded sarcastically to my last line, saying "Yeah,

mhhm, me too,” while crossing her arms and raising one of her
eyebrows.
Clearly, this wasn’t Anita. It was some black woman named

Stephanie who was out with her friend Anita when they heard
me yelling. This Anita was also not the right person. Stephanie
approached me in defense of her friend, hoping to see what was
going on.
Testing, comparing the audio quality and video quality of my

dream to real life and being astounded. Heard a long song,
thinking "This has a verse, a chorus, a verse, a bridge, it's wholly
complete, I've not heard it before, it's not very interesting to my
taste but it doesn't exist, it's a song made for the dream, and it
could have fooled me."
Man making jokes with me in the gas station. I couldn't focus,

I was looking all over the place. One girl had curly hair but it
wasn't her. Saw a man in line “Hey! I know you! But... never-
mind, you might not know me, I think you're from a different
dream. We talked on and on about... candles!" And then I went
walking toward the exit.
When I went outside the guy I was with said I had been an en-
couragement to him and he walked off into the darkness carry-
ing on a loud conversation with me even still. Then I yelled some
loud encouraging statement that sounded really lofty but very
kind and clever, and I remember thinking that all of the peo-
ple around will either think highly of me for this thing or will
avoid me for the fact that they don't understand the context and
I might sound nuts.
Being at that long street and office. Punks beating me up. Having
a talk with his one guy asking him what he thinks of life so far.
“Nothing specific,” I told him.
**then ran into a gay guy I knew, "Hey! I know you! You proba-
bly don't know me though. This was a different dream. We talked
about candles I think."
then the other guy ran out into the parking lot enthusiastically,
and yelled glad things as he walked away
It wasn't just that I thought "Now I can find her/meet her." I

recognized the dream and all this stood for, recognizing the im-
probability factor, recognizing that Anita could appear at any
moment from anywhere at all, even in unrealistic places, just for
the fact that it was what I, as he who was currently in control of
this environment, desired.
After this point I went walking around the building to its back-
end, knelt on the ground and put my head in my hands for sever-
al moments, then looked at my hands and sadly said "I'm losing
it. It's leaving. I've failed.” And while I was saying this the picture
was getting thinner and thinner, blurring and becoming darker,
when I transitioned with an almost unnatural smoothness into
consciousness much like a crossfade. One of the most frustrat-
ing, aggravating experiences yet of my night sleep that I can re-
call having.
“AQUARIUM”
02/14/2013
I was sitting at a strange desk with a small aquarium in my hand
that almost resembled an ant-farm. I spent a while installing all
sorts of strange contraptions within the tank so that it nearly re-
sembled a maze. There were wheels that turned one way and not
the other; there were spots where if you stepped on them a pad-
dle would smite down atop whatever stepped on that spot. There
were small water jets and more. After completing my endeavor,
I dropped several small sea creatures into the tank (though they
had an almost human-like shape to them, almost like small fish-
people/lizard people) I watched them with my face to the glass,
watching them as they performed poorly and stupidly. I watched
them repeatedly go to the wrong, dangerous spots. There was a
rather strange philosophical and sociological epiphany to have
come of this, but I cannot remember the details, unfortunately.
Suddenly, I woke up in a frenzy, running to my computer to
write it all down as quickly as I could, since I thought it deeply
symbolic at the time. When I was almost finished with writing
it out, there was a small power surge. Unfortunately, this likely
meant that I lost all of my data from the past several minutes, and
since I didn't feel like waiting several additional minutes for the
computer to boot back up I returned to my sleep, having a dream
which I have since forgotten.
Much later, I woke up dazed in my room and was curious about

the fact that my light was on, so I realized that this implies that
I had either been sleepwalking or had gotten up and not re-
membered it. I stood up and immediately noticed that my space-
heater was also unplugged and its plug was wound in a coil. This
145
doesn’t sound particularly unusual, yet it is just another thing I

cannot remember having done. I walked over to my computer,
powered on the monitor to check how much longer I had un-
til my alarm clock went off (so as to figure out how long I had
been in bed). Apparently I still had about nineteen minutes re-
maining. I figured I might as well just get up and continue with
my day. Firstly, I checked my recent documents to look for the
dream recount, and much to my luck it had been saved before my
computer had shut down (I have rather compulsive saving habits,
often saving every fifteen seconds with the shortcut keys). I took
off walking toward the upstairs level of the house, started filling
up the water pot to make my oatmeal and suddenly woke up in
my bed. I stood up. The lights were off. The space heater was no
longer coiled. My computer said that there was only three min-
utes remaining until my alarm clock would sound off, and above
all, there were no documents on my computer pertaining to the
aquarium dream.
“HER NAME IS WAKE UP”
02/16/2013
The environment was somewhat apocalyptic. I was in a large,
dark station with three others. I went off on my own while I
chased a man though some strange ancient ruins, and there was
nothing in the room but a massive spiral staircase which went
on for maybe a hundred-feet. I chased him all the way up, trying
to apprehend him, since he was seen as a threat to my ‘organiza-
tion’ or whatever I was part of. At one point, while racing up the
stairs, I became distracted as I noticed a little off-path that led
to an unknown, secret corridor. I took the path and ran through
what was ultimately a strange tunnel that seemed ‘porous‘ to me,
and I would describe its texture as resembling something inter-
nal to the body (membranous?). I had an out-of-body experi-
ence within my dream, which I believe is what allowed this tun-
nel to appear in this first place. While running through this tun-
nel, there were dozens of strange jellyfish-like creatures floating
through the air around me, and they were very large and not
to be touched. I eventually became afraid that I wouldn’t make
it through the tunnel and my anxiety began to increase because
tunnels cause my anxiety when one is to consider my (hysterical)
health condition (which is the reason for why I stopped my out
of body experience).
I later rejoined the others at the dark station. They were all
scrambling to fix something so that the world would not col-
lapse. When I arrived I walked into a backroom, finding two
of my associates in a laboratory-like setting. One of them had
been blown to bits and the other was conducting experiments
to revive or somehow salvage them. They had them hooked up
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to strange machines and were attempting to resuscitate them. I

then walked back into the main room, finding only a single girl
remaining, and since everything was collapsing and ending she
looked to me for comfort, and we became very affectionate for
a while. After spending time with her, a look of horror suddenly
came upon her face as she came to believe that I was ‘the one who
was ending the world‘ or perceived me as the source, or, a threat,
to the current situation. She stood up, backed away from me and
started freaking out with her eyes bulged and her face as angered
as it was surprised. She backed up slowly, feeling around with
her hand on the floor until grasping what looked like a large golf
iron mixed with a heating iron (while never taking her eyes off
of me). She backed down the hallway slowly with this tool while
fending me off if I was to come closer. All the while, I was just
walking slowly in her direction going, "Hey... Hey... come on..."
in a calm voice that was trying to assuage her paranoia (however,
it's possible that she was correct in her assessment and that I just
wasn’t aware of who I really was). She headed in the direction of
the control room so that she could detonate something. I let out
a sigh and ran hurriedly back to the room where the man had
been operating on his friend, trying to get his help in this matter.
When I opened the door, there was no person standing around,
but two heads lying in the cot, hooked up to tubes and machines.
The one who I had spoken with before looked at me, only a sev-
ered head on a cot, and said "Bad news. It failed. We're trying
something different." (Very strange sight to have seen, since he
was still wholly sentient.) I looked at him nonchalantly and said,
"Bad news. She freaked out, won't talk to me and is now head-
ing toward the control room to blow this place up." "Why didn't
you go after her?!?" "She was fighting me off. I started following
her, and followed her for a while, but then came back ‘cause I re-
alized the worst part of all. I forgot her name." The disembodied
heads then looked at me with stunned expressions. "Oh...” they

said regretfully, as though I had made a huge error. I couldn't call
out to her as I followed her, and this would have been bad since
she was a part of the same organization as I was, yet it was espe-
cially shameful for the fact that we were intimate for such a long
time beforehand. One of the heads then looked at me, opened
their mouth to say "Her name is... WAKE UP,” but this "WAKE
UP!” to which I am referring was in fact coming from my actual
alarm clock and it came at the strangest, most ironic time that it
seemed scripted.
“ASHEN CURRENCY”
02/17/2013
My sister asked me for money and I kept telling her no. Finally I
gave in and handed over the money and she said "What? This is
not ash from the urn.”
"Oh... ash from the urn? I thought you said cash for the store.”
She said "No place accepts that money anymore. Now we pay
with ashes. My friend and I want to go get some food. Some
frozen popsicles."
"You can't do that with cash?"
"Last time I was with my friend and she handed the cashier mon-
ey, the cashier literally reached next to herself, pulled a popsicle
out of the trash and handed it to my friend."
"It makes that much of a difference?" I was shocked.
In the old New Jersey workroom, all four of us, my mom stand-
ing with crossed arms acting the way she always does.
I said angrily, “You won't allow us lay-away even when you have
nothing to say." I paused, hoping no one heard me, and corrected
myself "You won't allow us the right of way even when you have
nothing to say." I explained to her why her appearance and pos-
ture had a negative psychological implication to it and she kept
refuting it, yet she couldn't see why ‘everyone was ganging up
on her.‘ (Telling her that she was provoking this fight between
the four of us just because she was standing with crossed arms, a
scowl and her legs in a certain posture)
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“LUNCH BREAK”
02/19/2013
• While I was falling asleep I can recall a close-up shot of a busi-
nessman from his upper chest to his mouth while he was eating his
food. After a while with nothing gone on, I thought "It's not happen-
ing anymore. There are no more hypnagogic hallucinations. That's
a shame." and suddenly I realized I had been staring at a man while
he laughed absolutely hysterically for the past three minutes, not re-
alizing until now that it was unordinary.
I went lucid, recognizing that I was within a dream, thinking ‘I

have two options. I could either wake myself up now while I still re-
member all that has happened thus far so as to write it down, or, I
could do whatever I please right now.’ Turns out I did neither. I re-
membered nothing but this when I awoke.
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“DILOGOS 33/63”
02/20/2013
I was sitting in the living room of my New Jersey home. I was
sitting among other men and we were all lounging around while
listening to some playlist that was made to showcase ‘love songs
of history’. We were being sort of pompous about it. Then I got
up and moved over to the shadowy parts of the room where most
of the others sat, and I was fooling around. I knelt down on all
fours on the floor, and the annoying man whom I was with, mis-
taking me for a goat, lept on my back and put his hands way too
close to my neck. I flipped him off of myself and stood up ag-
gressively, saying I would murder him, because he almost put his
hands around my neck, and then the whole place went silent at
my aggression, all except for the love songs still playing over the
speaker, and then I looked at him in a joking manner, holding
out my right hand in the air in an almost operaesque pose, and
in a sing-songy way I said "But... I'll love you alwayyyyyyyys,” and
it was intended as a joke or parody to some other song, sounding
like something from the thirties (which may have been the song
that was currently playing). They all laughed and we went back
to what we were doing.
Then an old love song played and I said "Oh, I like these old love
songs better,” and I walked down the step and went over toward
the couch and sprawled out, humming the song to myself. At this
moment, a man who was not here earlier came over to the couch
upon which I was sitting, and when it looked like he wanted to
sit down I retracted my feet so as to give him room to sit.
He showed me pictures of old paintings in a greek chapel. Told

me I couldn't tell and that he shouldn't. Said that there were orig-
152
inally these two paintings in the chapel he worked at that were

painted thousands of years ago. He said he could not give me
the coordinates but would show me close ups of what he was re-
ferring to. Showed a bell-clock sort of object on a large projec-
tor, then it faded away, exposing a skull or deformed rotten hu-
man face beneath it in the same shape where it was obvious. I
was astonished. He was getting ready to show me the next, but
I noticed he was changing the song on his laptop, and he had a
playlist of two songs. ‘Dilogos 33‘ and ‘Dilogos 63‘, and he put
on the 33rd one now, and I said "Oh, do you have them synced
up to the image?" And they were, indeed. He played them along
with their respective image. I clicked onto the 63rd song and I
thought "Oh, that's the one we just heard." It had an obviously
darker feel, whereas the 33rd was more new agey and had per-
cussion. This means the 63rd dilogos song corresponded with
the first painting he showed me. *(an alternative write-up says
“Douderos”?)*
"This is the neediest display we've been provided since Jesus died
and walked away.” Thinking they were lamentations, something
created by one of the twelve disciples.
Doing some strange experiments, trying to get ‘the human body

to fit more appropriately‘ and I found some girl to help me out
except she kept getting startled and unsure as to what I was do-
ing. (In some dark furnace room). Like I was just a spirit wearing
an ill-fitting bodysuit.
“BLACK ARM”
02/21/2013
My father and I rode bicycles in pitch blackness down an empty

road at night. There were two other cyclists riding not so far be-
hind us, though they were not with us. I could hear them speak-
ing as they got nearer. when One of them made the comment "I
can't tell how fast they're going,” and they were speaking of me,
trying to figure out how to pass me by when he wasn't able to
see me perfectly. Eventually I slowed down slightly when I saw
something at the side of the road and stopped to look and then
the guys went riding by and my dad kept going but then turned
back around to see what I was doing. One of the cyclists remind-
ed me slightly of Florentin by his outline. There were some small
animals at the side of the road. Odd little amphibians. I sat for a
while and observed them.
Then suddenly it was getting brighter out, day was beginning,

and though the road was still empty, there was this horrible,
shrill, pulsating noise heard down the road just beyond the bend,
so I could not see what it was due to the tree path. I was afraid
of the sound, and my father was also wary, and after a couple
of minutes of it gaining volume I freaked out and lept off the
nearby overpass, where beneath us was a small village. Both of
us jumped, however, my father landed on his feet on the normal
ground and I myself landed in some strange thing resembling a
folded mattress or venus flytrap (there were many of them) and
I was stuck and could not pull out. I remember thinking "Will
I be here until I wake up?" An old lady came by and made com-
ments about my predicament.
154
In a later scene I sat undressed in a room filled with mannequin

parts. I carried a long black arm around with me, and I remember
that this arm had been rejected because its hand was not in a
common position but with its fingers together forming a ‘grasp-
ing‘ shape. I walked around everywhere with this long black arm,
and I left it with my father because something was wrong with it
or it was incompatible with something, however, when I went to
take it back he had not only fixed it but had painted it to look
like the color of my flesh, very believable, except it had a lot of
rashy looking patches and had lots of small red bumps when ex-
amined closely. I was unhappy that he modified it to look realis-
tic, but did not say anything since he had put in so much effort
and was proud of it, thinking he did me a favor.
Half-carved mannequin heads laying in my room with chunks

missing out of their heads. Watching inappropriate movies while
I was fixing these things up. Not a bad movie, just one with a
lot of ribald humor as such that you will find in the popular
movies these days. (College movie?) and I was embarrassed at
the thought that someone might pass by and see it on my TV.
‫ ػ‬Old woman
‫ ػ‬Roadway shot
‫ ػ‬Me
‫ ػ‬My father (on a bicycle)
A picture I had wanted to use as an album cover. Told myself

to remember it when I WOKE up. There was another thing I
tried so hard to remember so that I could have it when I woke
up. Some epiphany of sorts. Something that came from the black
arm I think?
My father had a strange tool in his hand, like some pneumatic

drill, and I suddenly thought that maybe my dream was being in-
fluenced by this noise, that maybe this was the sound we heard.
Influencing my dream from within the dream. Confusing things
together. Two dogs physically bothering me. The one to my right
was aggravating it so I smacked it (while me and several others
were sitting on chairs in some room) and pushed it. That’s when
the dog to my left smacked my own neck like aforementioned.
Something about wanting my freedom. Room of chimera hu-
mans. Mannequins arm wrapped in bandages when my father
completed it (like surgical).
A dog smacked my neck. It actually reached out and smacked it.

So I turned to it, leaning past its owner, and said "I'm going to kill
you. I'm going to swing you by your leash and throw you down
to Hell,” and the dog says "How do you like it when the world
puts a leash around your neck?"
“AGE OF MONOS”
02/22/2013
I spent a while in the bathroom staring into a mirror and fooling
with a radio on the bathroom wall with tons of presets. Later I
went into my bedroom and put a CD in the player, a new cd I
had gotten for the purpose of ‘hearing what other people were
listening to nowadays‘ and I listened as I went about my work.
But then I realized that every four or so songs there would be a
comment made by a radio host or someone else about how good
these guys are and how good this album is. I thought this was
horribly tactless, that they felt so insecure about their music that
they had to insert rave reviews between the songs themselves.
The music, itself, was also quite boring.
At night I left my house wrapped from head to toe in a blanket. I

walked around several neighborhoods, and I remember the mail-
woman following me from a distance, and I walked longer and
further than I wanted to just to seem normal and not suspicious.
Followed a girl down the street. I entered this small back-alley
port around the curb where there were two guys (youth, one my
age), one woman and a police guard. The woman said to me,
though not knowing where I've been, but said I'll be locked up. I
said "Is that what you guys do around here?" to the cop. I stood
there with my blanket wrapped around myself, when the guy
that was maybe only slightly younger than me reached out his
hand and picked up one of the corners of my blanket that was
dragging, then rubbing it between the fingers on his right hand,
and he was somehow divining with it, and looked at me to say
"You've had this same blanket through quite a few experiences.
This blanket was with you when you moved, when you changed
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your name, when you..." he said a couple more but I was almost
too mesmerized to hear what he was saying... until the woman
interrupted him and scolded him, since she was not so kind. The
kids in the yard liked me.
I was escorted into this run down factory-like building where all
of the criminals were staying. I was being supervised while they
looked me up and down. They made jokes about me. One guy
“joked” about shooting me in my head. But I laughed at all of his
‘jokes‘ and they didn't understand why.
They kept inquiring as to why I was out and about at this time of
night and what brought me to this area, and I said that I had left
my blanket outside and came to get it, though I was lying, and
the guy responded "Ohhh, I see what you did there. You made a
connection." (As I explained both my walk and why I had a blan-
ket with me at the same time).
There was a Hispanic man who told me stories from back when
his age was in ‘monos’. He laughed and spoke loudly, and I kept
thinking that he sounded like someone I once knew—my old
boss, I think.
Not everyone was so kind. There were plenty of jerks. I sat at a

table stuck but was not afraid and would laugh when they made
jokes about shooting me. At the end I saw that same girl again.
“RED EYES OF THE DREAMER”
02/23/2013
He made me look foolish at the party. I said to the young black
man in the beginning "I'm so happy we got to meet.” It seemed
the feeling was mutual, and I was happy to think that I had made
a friend. We hung out for a while before the party.
Sitting among four or five people. I was not looking at them but
looking down at the ground while smiling nervously and pulling
a hood over my face while talking about how it’s been years and
I’m just now meeting him after five years of being his neighbor.
"Actually, I'm also an agoraphobe."
They were awkward, making only a slight "Heh.”
I don’t remember what went wrong at the party, but he became

suspicious of me. Partygoers made rude comments to me, but
were not suspicious like the young black man. They felt awkward
talking to me, however, because they didn't want to get involved
and the black guy kept shouting insults at me as though I was a
criminal. Cody, who was sitting on the couch in the next room,
kept peeking over.
Talking to a girl at a party.
Flying in the lobby with guards (look like that popular rest stop
at Maryland that my family always stopped at during road trips)
when someone asked me for help in carrying her bags. Helping
black lady carry her stuff and bags in the driveway. I heard her
family talking about us, leaning against their own car. Supposing
"Is that her new boyfriend? Think they are serious? What do you
159
think they're planning?" And started speculating about the fu-

ture.
They weren’t aware that I had a keen sense of hearing and I

turned my head at one point while walking through the driveway
and I said "Or maybe I'm just someone who's helping her carry
her supplies," and they started cracking up. At first they were
embarrassed, but when I began laughing with them they were
laughing even more, and I could hear them for the next several
minutes in the background laughing at their assumptions even
while I continued on in my way in this dream, and I would laugh
occasionally at the silliness of the situation.
People/kids shoved in the car/backseat/trunk. One kid like John

was annoying the hell out of me. They made conversation with
me I cannot remember. When I was done I walked over to the
telephone pole directly in front of the entryway to the previous
theater-like building. The pole was maybe fifteen feet in front
of it, adjacent to the door. I was now wearing swimming shorts
and leapt/flew to the very top of the telephone pole. Wrapped
my arms and legs around it and held myself upside down. A girl
walked out of the building and looked up to me with a smile, say-
ing "So you can fly now?" And while upside down I looked at her
to say "I guess. Sure seems that way."
I went lucid after the telephone pole scene. Anita? Maybe that
girl was Anita? Flashes of Anita happening in my mind when I
was going lucid. Can’t remember exactly what part she played,
though I am sure I was with or saw her at one point and this is
one of the few points I cannot remember in detail, along with
why the man was angry with me. And ball lightning was filling
the inside of my head.
Then I realized that I was dreaming, and thought “Oh, it’s hap-
pening again. I've realized I'm asleep." Then I started waking up
in my bed and became terribly aggravated, trying as hard as I
could to keep my eyes tightly closed and my body still, how this
is when my eyes were to see Explosives and fractals and recur-
sions and psychedelia in my eyes whenever I would clench them
tight. When trying to fall back to sleep, I walked over to the
mirror while still sleeping, opened my eyes slowly and looked.
Creepy, very creepy red eyes. Swollen area just at the bottom of
my right eye ("Is this what my problem looks like?").
This scene was one of the strangest scenes in all of my dreams.

Not only for the vividness in the patterns displayed, but this mo-
ment where I was able to open my eyes ‘while still asleep‘ and
look at myself how I seem when I sleep. It was almost mortify-
ing, the look in my red eyes, in these eyes that were not meant to
be opened at this moment.
Then I woke up from this layer, into the third layer of the dream,
and was in my New Jersey home, having been confused and
thought I had legitimately woken up, so the lucidity sort of went
away, then I ran as fast as I could to my recording equipment and
attempted to make a song inspired by this event as quickly as pos-
sible. I opted for my acoustic because it required no setup time.
I began improvising a variant of the song ‘Three Times a Wid-
ow’ but after a few minutes I put down my guitar, moving to hit
a few notes on my keyboard, and then thought ‘Damn it, I want
my electric guitar after all’, and spent the rest of the dream look-
ing for my cables and pedals.
At the end of the dream, as Jeiezza and I were searching through

my bedroom for the proper cables, I said to her "Oh, I have a fun-
ny story to tell you later," referring to the dream I just had.
“MONSTER MARKET”
02/24/2013
Mocking metal music with Kevin. Realizing it was Kevin. Can't
let him know I do or don't know it's him. Girls that had appar-
ently known me a long time ago being there, and were comment-
ing about how how fine of a man I turned out to be (I was rather
cool when I was walking around), and they were trying to get the
person in charge to pair me with one of them while I worked but
I kept evading this.
Gay men and Halloween mask man kissing me. Man getting in
front of me to ask what I was going to say. Girls outside at the
picnic table. Meeting Bryant near the pharmacy section of the
store. He and another man led me into this one corridor, and
we walked through one of the doors but then I realized that the
doors were on a timer and they were giant and metal and would
close in weird patterns every couple seconds. I gave up on this be-
cause I knew I would have no luck and turned around, making it
through the one I just came through...
Then I went over to the pharmacy counter to ask a lady on the

left hand side (she was old) about something strange pertaining
to what I saw in the store. She became angry with me, raising
her voice in indignation because I cut in line and interrupted her
work just so that I could ask her something that has nothing to
do with her work. She threatened to call security on me and so I
walked away.
As I walked back, after my misfortunes set in, my face started

convulsing when I started thinking of all gone on so far. It was
maniacal. Doing something weird with my tongue and lips while
162
I walked, vibrating my head and tilting it back and forth like a

jerky metronome. I can recall the people around me being a small
bit taken aback or alarmed when they saw me walking through
looking so unstable. A woman stood with her child at one side,
and when I walked by she put her arm around him and pulled
him behind her since she didn't know what to expect of someone
who looked like me.
I went back to the corner of the store with couches where sat
about a dozen men dressed in monster costumes and sat down
next to the guy who looked most like a human, and he had long
black hair. I felt like now, unlike before, I was ready to join them.
There was a guy on the floor right in front of where we sat, and
he sat in a strange pained contorted position, wearing an expres-
sionless mask while looking at me. It was a strange skull face as
far as I can remember, but I am thinking it was green and that
there was more to it. The guy at my right with long hair said how
he and his buddy needed only thirteen dollars so that his bud-
dy could get what he wanted. I figured it was drug addiction,
and so I asked which drugs, and all of the sudden my head was
filled and my eyes were taken up by this encyclopedic/scientif-
ic page, showing all sorts of molecular structures and providing
a world of information. I said, "Oh... Lysergic acid? That's what
you need?" But then suddenly I remembered that this guy had
told me this same thing last time I was here and I felt silly for
forgetting, though I never said this part out loud. He asked me
of my own habits in a suspicious way, and I remember telling
him that I haven't consumed drugs in about five years now, even
though technically I consume legal herbal supplements. As I was
saying this thing, and I can't remember his rebuttal, but his face
moved close to mine where it was close to mine and he held my
head.I said calmly, "Please don't." And he proceeded, rubbing his
lips all over the side of my face in slow circular motion, bothering
me enough that I stood up from the couch indignantly and went

walking down the rest of the store aisle, abandoning the monster
group.
Thinking I had just seen the supervisor/leader of this establish-

ment walking far ahead of me in the aisles/crowd, the man who
was maybe Lajos from his appearance, I took off running toward
him trying to reach him, having had by now a lot of questions to
ask him. Somehow I lost him, or ended up getting distracted, be-
cause I looked over to the right at the exit and saw a gray haired
man who I kept calling ‘The Third‘ in my mind. I chased him
outside, and right when I was within an arm's length of him,
opening my mouth to say "Hey! You're The Third!" and some-
thing else like "I thought that you...” or "Why are you in a place
like this?" Like he was famous or something similar. Just as I
opened my mouth, a man from nowhere appeared right at his
other side, shouting the same exact question to him, word for
word. The Third then began yelling and insulting the other man,
upset that he had reminded him of this and telling him he hates
to be known in this way and how he can't even get peace for but
a quick shopping. I stood there awkwardly, knowing I was saved
by only a single second from an example being made of myself
instead.
Me and Isaac or Florentin at a mountain, in a field with tall field

grass. I don’t recall what we were doing. There were LOTS of
traveling in the car and doing odd jobs, carrying things, rearrang-
ing things, but time distorts here, as I am forgetting a lot of this
particular plot.
Woke up four times during this dream, feeling body and bed, but
managed to get back to sleep. First time I saw masked guys but
never wanted to sit down with them because of how I didn't feel I
belonged. Reminding myself, at the end of the dream, what key-

words and things to write down when I would wake up. Talking
to an old woman at a brown workhouse. Walking between many
rooms. Girl(s)? Maybe taking and additional short trip with few
people, Isaac included, but also maybe a girl and one other per-
son
There was some sort of dispute going on in this Church festival,

where it was evening and the place was lit with some candles and
lanterns. I remember crawling around on my hands and knees for
a while on this floor. Isaac was there in the company of several
women.
Something else happened with the car, something due to our dif-
ference of opinion, something due to my mania. And I think
there was a problem concerning my neck or throat... maybe hav-
ing to do with the party food, or some problem I was having
in addition. He began berating me for something when I welled
with emotion and interrupted, "So how much have I told you of
my life in these past couple of years? How much did I tell you in
my letter?"
He said “Nothing," and I said "Exactly," and he got a nervous,

apologetic expression on his face, along with those women im-
mediately surrounding him. I walked away. (Maybe going on and
on about my ‘self-imposed limitations', how I was avoiding cer-
tain things and he flipped out when I said I wasn't going to eat
the party food, thinking I was just being neurotic until he real-
ized I had legitimate affliction).
Sitting at a picnic table on break at ‘work brown building‘ with

about five or six people, kind of reminds me of patricks old pic-
nic table. Me mocking metal concert going on.
“FIREWORK FIGHT”
02/25/2013
Guy shooting fire crackers at me, burning part of my arm.
I was in this party, speaking with one of my grandparents of dif-

ferent food items (talking about the spinach and potato sand-
wiches I had been eating), when accidentally I leaned against a
fire door and opened it, and for some reason since I couldn’t fig-
ure out how to close it, I realized it would be solved if we closed
it here with myself on the outside and I walked around the build-
ing, going outside and coming back in, On my way coming back
in I was stopped a man in a blue shirt, telling me I wasn't exact-
ly to have earned my invitation through the most official means
(this was not known to me. I went with my family.
He started getting more aggressive, both verbally and physically,

threatening me in slight ways. I started twisting his hand. Trying
to get him to let me back in. He was an absolute psycho, and I
went running down the street and did a circle into town.
I went walking by this small outdoor cafe, able to hear him even
now from this place around the backside of that location, and
I looked and saw about three to five guys of mixed races, my
age, sitting at a table, and they were looking down while they
smoke their cigarettes when I called out saying, "Do you know
that guy?" making them aware of the voice in the background,
one of them nodded while giving that slight bugged out look in
the eye, they said "We don't like to get involved with him,” I said
"He's psychotic. This whole event that you’re hearing started be-
cause I leaned against a fire exit door and then he was shooting
firecrackers at me."
166
He was back there now fighting with what sounded like my fa-
ther and someone else from my family, arguing over what hap-
pened.
Walking away from these guys I said "Someone should maybe

call the authorities,” and then I walked away coolly, a huge scar
on my arm, back toward the place I came from to reenter the
contention, suddenly realizing I had some sort of red and teal
bandana on my head (?) and whipped it off, and when I did this
my hair expanded and became huge (it was like in a film when
the leading actress is to let her hair down, in that absurdly exag-
gerated way that it bounces and is whipped about. Mine was not
unlike this, except instead of bouncing out it flung out erect as
though the product of a lightning strike).
“TAVERN ANDROGYNE”
02/26/2013
I was entered into a tavern accompanied by several childhood

friends. I was trailing behind, and at the entryway I stopped to
stare at this large display filled with dozens of trophies. While I
looked upon the prizes, from my right side came a young woman
who I instinctively thought of as my counterpart in all aspects.
We stepped toward one another and embraced to form a single
unit. This woman obviously represented my innately ‘feminine’
aspects and instincts.
Someone then shouted "Evacuate!" and everyone ran to the far

end of the room where there was a conveyor belt upon the floor
that would carry everyone to a safe station. I stepped onto the
belt and rode for a short while, yet I was reprimanded by my
friend (who was a weird mixture of Isaac and Florentin) for fool-
ing around on the conveyor belt when we were all supposed to
remain still.
It seemed much like a comedy film in which a single body is in-

habited by two spirits, as the feminine components of my per-
son were causing me to make all sorts of weird and unnecessary
movements. To others I likely appeared insane and rebellious,
but the masculine and feminine parts of myself were actually
fighting against one another, since the feminine aspect wished to
go and sit down at the nearby bar. It became so difficult to fight
the impulse that I ended up shouting. I cannot remember what,
exactly, I shouted, but afterward I remember asking "Did every-
one hear that?" and several people in the room said in unison
168
"Yes." Finally I gave in and went to sit down at the bar as I wait-
ed to learn from my feminine half why this was so important to
her (thinking it had to do with drinks), but she did not respond,
bringing me to feel that it was all just pointless.
While sitting at the counter, I looked around me, seeing a young

woman sitting two bar stools away (an empty seat in between
us), yet I couldn't make out her features since she was looking
down at the countertop, almost sullenly.
I didn’t give her much thought and continued going about my

business. A couple minutes later I looked back over at her and
she was now looking up, and she was staring right at me. It was
Anita. It then became clear that the ‘feminine component’ of my
person had taken me to this barstool at this time, having known
that I would find Anita waiting here.
I was walking on water over a large lake or pond. I found it bor-

ing after a while and gave up my ability because I wanted search
for treasures on the bottom floor.
“LAWNMOWER GAME”
02/27/2013
Car wreck in either church parking lot or Candlers Station (by
the Dollar Theater).
Throughout the whole dream I was viewing myself as a demon,

named Tendon, who had possessed the body of Korneli, a hu-
man.
I was making comments in the theater to Florentin about being

"surrounded by oilseeds,” and continued to mutter the word
‘oilseeds’ under my breathe while watching the film.
We were sitting very close together on this bench and I was try-
ing not to look directly at her. When looking at her I could not
even make out the whole of her face as she was looking down at
the ground in a way that appeared quite embarrassed or self-con-
scious.
"What? I've sat at the same table as you every day for many years.
You called me beautiful."
"Yeah, that last event was a bit... dispirited."
"My number is 333-4444,” she said as she was writing her num-
ber down on a small piece of paper.
“That's surely fake!" I howled.
She gave an amused “Mhm,” as she finished writing the number,

and when she had finished she held the paper up to my face, on
which was displayed a genuine number, not like what she had
told me previously.
170
I remember a lot of people in this ‘cafeteria’ area looking over at

the two of us.
When I finally saw her face she was quite attractive.
She wrote down the name of the park where I was to meet her
the following night.
She eventually walked away.
Later, the young black woman who had set us up asked me, "Will
you remember the name of the park?"
And I said "I'll remember it because it starts with K-O-R, which

are the first few letters of ‘this body's name’."
Then she handed back the paper, saying "Or, it's easier to remem-
ber in this way. If you cut the word in half, and put the left half
at the right side, then it forms (?) (something remarkably similar
to a real word, though slightly ‘misspelled‘)
A lot of girls were hitting on me and I was getting aggravated,

thinking "Is this what I get for using a human body as a vehicle?"
I encountered a rabid boy with ‘forty front teeth’ and an odd

congenital disease. I put my hand into his mouth to feel the
sharpness of the teeth and he started attacking me like an animal.
I was standing in a bathroom when someone knocked on the

door, saying "Let me in!" I was only staring at myself in the mir-
ror—mostly to make sure that my physical body wasn’t show-
ing signs of possession—so I opened the door to a young woman
who ran into the room and quickly closed the door behind her.
She said something about there being a lot of ‘officials out there’.
Then she sat down on the floor and said "I will do anything you
want me to do.”
“What?”
“I will do anything,” she repeated.
“Anything?”
“Of course.”
After pausing for a few seconds I became all animated and said
"Actually...there's this game I can't play by myself," and I pulled
what was either a phone or a handheld gaming system out of
my pocket, explaining some game to her about lawnmowers. In
the game, you were a lawnmower, seen from an aerial/overhead
view. And you had to try to mow the most grass you could, com-
peting against several other lawnmowers. But there was some-
thing about it where you were also able to mow over other lawn-
mowers because they had some strip of grass on their top? And
the lawnmower, for whatever reason, resembled the Pokémon
Venusaur. She obliged, and we sat around on the bathroom floor
competing against one another in this lawnmower game. After a
few minutes of play, I was transported to this grassy area like the
area seen in the game and it was very serene.
Incomplete components of recall:
Waiting in a queue
Car accident in parking lot
Different writings in ink all over my body
Something with my Uncle

“BIG SCISSORS, SMALL
SCISSORS, ANCIENT SCISSORS”
02/28/2013
Mike wanted me to go for a walk with him. While out walking,
we were followed by a dog, and ended up wandering into an
area where the road was covered with dogs lying on their side.
We took a secret path back to my house and I took him into
my backroom, opening up a drawer filled with scissors. Then I
turned to him as I held up three pairs. He asked what I was do-
ing, to which I asked: "Do you want the big scissors, the small
scissors, or the ancient scissors?" I forget which one he ended up
taking, and I'm not sure that mine were ‘the‘ small ones, but I re-
member thinking ‘Oh, these are so small,’ when I later looked at
the scissors I had chosen. We then went and walked around the
area some more.
173
“HALL OF DARKNESS”
03/01/2013
I was in some large building with lots of other people. At one
point I walked away and laid eyes on a dark hallway and decided
that I should walk it, whether because I thought it was funny or
some other reason. (I was hoping to scare people).
I hung around in that dark hallway for a very long time in the
hopes that my eyes would adjust, giving me the upper hand. as I
felt then I would finally have the upperhand, and eventually they
began adjusting in the darkness but I could not find my way out
even still. I saw the silhouette of someone walking my way and
so I pulled to the side and sidled up against a corner or doorway
thinking it would be funny to jump out at them, though when
they were passing me by, they stopped and turned to me. Keep
in mind that it was pitch black, and all we could see of one other
was our silhouettes. She made some exclamation like, "Aha!" but
it was not scared nor was it startled.
I asked "How could you have seen me!” and she responded, "By
the same means that you were able to see me, I suppose!'' We
laughed for a moment before she inevitably continued off in the
direction she was heading, which was a Study lounge of some
sort. Even though we could only see each other's silhouettes in
the darkness, I could tell her shape, the color of her hair, and the
way that she walked, along with vague impressions of her fea-
tures that were more intuitive than not.
After a few minutes I walked on through the hallway until finally

coming out into the aforementioned study lounge. There were
174
several people here in this place, some seated on couches and

some at tables.
A tremendous anxiety began to rise within me as I took a seat

and peered around the room in the hopes of finding the person
with whom I interacted in the lightless hall. I was then ap-
proached by some random girl who I did not know: a young
blonde woman who sat down at my side and struck up a casual
conversation. She was friendly and considerate of my discomfort
and it was a big help to me, helping me to overcome my anxiety.
We spoke and we laughed for a little while.
A group of guards or chaperones entered the room and they ush-

ered her out of the room. She resisted, but ultimately had no
choice.
I had been distracted during this event and failed to help out or
thank her (for her kindness) as she was being ushered out. I also
get the feeling that she attempted to say goodbye to me while I
was distracted. I wanted to make sure I thanked her, so I got up
and dashed toward the exit.
As I was standing by the entranceway I paused, turning slowly to

look to at my right, where I saw a long table. Only one person sat
at that table: a young woman reading a book. It was Anita. We
did not know each other, I did not know it was someone I had
been searching for for so long. It was the first time we were meet-
ing. Her name was not Anita, but something with an ‘R‘ sound.
I'm not sure if she noticed my presence, but I stood silently, lean-
ing just a little bit so as to see what she was reading. Whatever
it was, it seemed scientifically complex and I couldn’t help but
smile to myself. She was positively the girl I had met in the hall-
way. I knew it by her hair and her shape. At this point I became
conflicted...
I instinctively understood that if I left the room I would not be

able to find my way back. That’s just the way that these dreams
typically work, for me. And I began rationalizing it within my
mind, thinking ‘But why should that be the case? Why wouldn’t
I be able to make my way back?’ And so I opted to leave the
room, choosing to return the kindness to someone else instead of
doing what I myself was ultimately wanting to do.
I was looking around the room the whole time and didn't notice
when she was saying goodbye to me. I wanted to make sure I said
goodbye (or waved, as I did) since she was so kind to me and
helped me get past some of my anxiety.
I recall that, during my attempts to rationalize why I should sit

tight and not bother chasing after that other girl was because
‘she’s a blonde’.
Running outside, it was pouring rain.
Dog licking my face and/or feet-leg.

“NEIGHBOR”^
03/06/2013
It was late at night, and I was walking down the hall of what was
either an apartment or a hotel when I opened a door to the room
where my family and I were staying, though when I walked in-
side, I could hear my mother speaking from the other side of the
wall and this brought me to realize that I had entered into the
wrong building.
Walking toward the exit now, I crossed the main living quarters
where one or two middle-aged women were sitting at their sofas.
An additional component to this dream was that one of my eyes
kept blurring in a horribly distractive way. Upon seeing them and
how they look back on me curiously I apologized for my mistake,
and not only were they understanding but began asking ques-
tions of myself, generalistic questions that I did not feel were in-
trusive. I can recall the one woman who spoke the most saying
"You would probably get along well with my son. He's around
your age." And I cannot recall exactly what I said in verbatim, yet
I can recall managing to use the word ‘vicenarian‘ in my response
to her, which I found funny upon waking up. Finding out that
he was indeed my own age, I answered in a humble gladness, say-
ing "You know, I've never known what it was like to have a friend
to live within close proximity and have always wondered what it
would be like. This might be a good thing for me."
Immediately thereafter I was approached by two large dogs

which had come running from one of the rooms after noticing
my presence. One of them took the entirety of my right hand
into its mouth, while the other did the arm with my left hand.
They were barking viciously even with my hands being in their
177
mouths, and I recall the feel of their teeth against my hands. I

was terrified and I waited for help from the two older women,
yet they did nothing that would save me. They expressed con-
cern, saying "Oh, this is not good!" but they did nothing to help
me, and I stood terrified between these two dogs with nothing
in my defense. This went on for what seemed like several minutes
until I finally awoke.
“BLADE GRAB”*
03/06/2013
Single file line in place/education system. Isaac with is line with
many others, but they wouldn't let me in line, others were really
upset because they heard my scores were strange. I snuck in, cut
in line, and told Isaac "When you pass this aisle, my test scores
will still be on the table. Walk over and see them." And then he
noticed my scores were actually extreme. I wasn't allowed this ed-
ucation not for fact that mine wasn't high but because I had gone
beyond what I was allowed to know. I had high marks in a “for-
bidden” category.
Then I went to the back of the line and tried to grab others to fol-
low me, and I explained something of the system to them (Alex
and another) and they broke off and went through the emer-
gency exit with me.
They put me in charge of the on-screen slide presentation at

some dinner ceremony. And I kept messing up the timing, slow-
ing it down, making it too loud, and I left the mouse pointer on
screen instead of dragging it away.
Sitting in back of audience with a guitar laid flat on my lap, but I

was supposed to be keeping it a secret and protecting it. Old peo-
ple turned around and saw the guitar and started trying to han-
dle it, noting its vine-ish design, saying "Wow, this is that..." and
spotlights started shining on me.
Using some strange changing room that I knew didn't belong to

me. When the educators came to get us all.
179
Dark skinned man opposing me in place. But eventually he took

to me. And I said “You can call me whatever you want to call me."
And he seemed surprised at this answer.
Anita and I walking around town arm in arm at a festival or fair,

and she had a camera on her, and I think I had a very small cam-
era on me. I was so excited to see her and kept telling her to take
more and more pictures of us. She said "We already have pictures
in every angle that's possible of ourselves and then some,” but I
persisted.
We walked on this sidewalk at dusk time when we did see a man

standing with his back towards us. We both immediately sensed
something strange about him, as he was stopped in the middle
of the sidewalk and not moving, and we had to pass him by. Just
beyond him there was a small upslope that we had to walk, but
we tripped on it and had difficulty.Then the odd man who we
had just passed by approach us from behind, pulling out a long
knife, and came at Anita with it. In some act of boldness I would
not have displayed were I to have been walking alone by myself. I
grabbed the knife by its blade when he thrusted it forward, grip-
ping it tightly and glaring with the devil's glare at this man.
Unfortunately, the man then reached with his other hand for a
rag soaked in chloroform, he forced it into my face and I was
dragged ‘unconsciously‘ (I was still aware of what was happening
but I was technically passed out) in the passenger's seat of his car
, either that or the blade was poisoned and when I grabbed it the
poison had entered into my bloodstream and made me useless.
Anita then called a passing car, shouting, and jumped in. Follow-
ing my car closely with hers.
I remember still fighting or debating with this man when I was

in his car.
“EVIL GENIUS JESUS”
03/07/2013
Sitting at some outdoor festival in the very back where all the
cars were parked beside tents along a long, dirt road. I spent a
while sitting in my car, although I would frequently venture out
into the nearby nearby woods where there were demons present.
I ran upstairs and left a small excerpt of my book with Anita who
was sitting on the couch and then ran back down and started
talking to the goat again.
There was a large goat head protruding from my wall which re-
sembled a taxidermy mount, and though it was inanimate, I saw
it as living, since there was a strange presence attached to it. I
would walk in circles around my room, reading my autobiogra-
phy outloud to this goat head while I waited for Anita to return
home from work. I spoke and behaved with reverence toward
this strange goat head. I then decided that I would begin a cult
and began thinking of potential names. The next thing I recall is
running up the stairs with a notepad in my hand to relay my ideas
to Anita. I read her a list of names, starting with the introducto-
ry "I want the name to have a little something for everyone. I'm
thinking something like The Goat Cult of Evil Genius Jesus, be-
cause it’s got something for the bad people, the intelligent people
and the good!" I continued reading from the list, but I cannot re-
call any of the other names. It was mostly meant as a joke.
On one evening when she returned to our house I behaved in a

most hyperactive and clingy manner. I followed her around the
kitchen as she was fixing a meal, singing strange, shameless songs
which I claimed were from the 1980's. I was lovingly reprimand-
181
ed for my energy, and I told her that she needn’t worry, since "I
would only be acting like this for the first couple of weeks." Ap-
parently we had just moved into a house of our own, living to-
gether for the first time, and so I used this excitement as an ex-
cuse for my exhausting and enthusiastic behavior.
“PERRO”
03/08/2013
“Apitoxin” leading into an old song. ("Chase Scene") Then the
next track that came on was a beautiful melody, sounding slightly
oriental in its nature, and I was glad at the time when it came on
since I had totally forgotten about it up until now.
I was cleaning my room at the time, and I walked over to the

computer player to see its information and I could only see that
the song was called ‘Perro‘ (I did not immediately recognize this
word at first, not until later in the day when I was recounting the
dream aloud to my parents)
183
“CONCAVE”
03/10/2013
Anita was resting her head in my lap and I was at first unable to
make out her features. We were in a little office room/class-room
and I was stroking her hair while someone was giving a lecture.
She accidentally fell asleep at one point, and I remember the mo-
ment she awoke and looked up at me, and she wore the cutest
smile and her eyes were closed so tightly.
The man giving the lecture pointed to a movie clip, saying this
was the funnier guy, him and his failures. It showed a man stand-
ing in some kind of stadium in the stands with many others, and
he looked down at the yellow shirt he was wearing and yelled ex-
citedly "ALL RIGHT! I GOT YELLOW!" After that it showed
me sitting where I was, I had been moving the same way this
whole time, stroking Anita's hair with my hand as she slept, but
while I was doing this I heard a weird sound like a crack and
looked down to see that I had been stroking a piece of styrofoam,
and my nails had wore it down so that it became a concave shape,
like a giant bowl, giving the impression that I had actually been
doing this for a very long time.
Girl answering my question but getting interrupted by the group

I was with. She was over to my left. I showed her that I was still
listening even though the other people were persisting, and so
she leaned over a small bit closer and continued to answer the
question I had.
"Will someone tell the guys in that area to stop talking and shut
up?”
184
After I had mumbled something irately.
Then two of the guys near me said "I'm not talking.” “Me either."
I got pulled out of my apartment because two older women had

complaints and some sort of landlady or owner was there to
speak to me for them. I was being reprimanded for something I
was continually doing in my apartment that was disturbing the
peace. When the three walked away, I called out to the lady and
made some strange sly gesture (like a wink or a wave).
Then I ran into Mike, and he saw the whole thing happen and he
said, "Oh, that's no good. I guess you can't do what you were do-
ing anymore?''And I responded saying "No, it means I'll just find
a way to do a better job spreading it out. Besides, me and that
landlady have a funny relationship, one might say. She's had to
deliver other peoples’ complaints so often that we see each other
all the time."
Then I walked with Mike up into his own apartment level, the
top level of the building, and he went in to get something from
his building while I waited outside the door, though there were
four or five other guys standing there on that level and I can't re-
member exactly what they were doing but they might have spo-
ken with me.
“PATIO”
03/10/2013
Anita and I laboring away in a large, rich estate for the early
parts of the dream. Oftentimes we worked with our backs to one
another, but on occasion I would turn to watch her while she
worked, standing with a pad and pen to take notes. She wore a
serious expression. I admired her maturity, and it made me feel
self-conscious. Then I looked down at myself and noticed that I
was wearing a brightly-colored shirt (likely red) and this, along
with several other factors, made me feel as though I was a young
boy in her presence. I felt humbled and embarrassed but said
nothing.
Anita and I were working in a large, rich house. I don't know if

it belonged to us or a customer, but we were doing some sort
of technical work. We continued working in this foyer-like area,
when she had to go and collect something from another room.
She said "Wait for me on the patio. I'll meet you there in a few
minutes when I am done.” And then she smiled at me and quick-
ly touched both of my hands before walking away. I stepped out
onto the patio, which was really just a screened porch. I stood
still for a moment before realizing how long and expansive this
patio actually was. I then went walking as far down as I could,
because when she came out to see me I wanted her to meet me
on the far end, wanting her to wonder where I was at first so that
I would maybe surprise her.
186
“SKATING WITH THE
NEIGHBOR”
03/12/2013
I was sitting in the car in my driveway when the elderly neighbor
came by with her dog and I shouted some aggressive comments.
After that I would call her over to the door, humbling myself to
apologize and provide her with an explanation as to why I said
what I said (without going into too many details). For whatever
reason, this elderly woman then asked me if I had a bicycle, I said
"No, but I have skates!" and the both of us drove to some long
rooftop that seemed to belong to a department store and went
skating. Even the dog was present, but now that she knew the
problem that I had with barking dogs, the dog was not allowed
to bark. I remember one moment when the dog was standing at
the edge of the roof when I approached, and I realized how easy
it would be to shove it from off the roof, where it would fall for-
ever. I didn't, though.
The scene with all of us watching a film. Staring through the hole
in the ceiling over the oyer watching people enter. I remember
saying "2D or Not 2D."
187
“NEGOTIATIONS”
03/15/2013
Sitting in the living room alone with someone who I instantly
recognized. They were ‘My Body‘, yet they did not resemble me
in their face or in their flesh, and I couldn't tell if it was a man
or a woman. I sat them down on the couch and began pleading
with them, telling them that we needed to form an agreement,
telling them that they needed to work with me, to help me out.
They responded with a sense of understanding but said "Just be-
cause I will work with you does not mean we will not be without
our disagreements. I will try as much as I can." Then the both of
us stood up and bounced over into my bedroom when in the dis-
tance I could hear a song playing over the speaker. I said "I have
to do it. I have to sing along with this one. Work with me,” and
I began to bounce around further, singing loudly to this song,
which caused me to awaken.
I remember thinking at one point in the dream that I wanted to

run to the next room and find another great song, though I rec-
ognized the fate of my usual dreams and knew that if I ran to
change the song I would never make it back to this room again,
essentially recognizing the dream but not caring so much about
it to become lucid.
188
“ANITA AND I ON FILM”^
03/18/2013
Duets / Anita and I on videotape
Her covering the screen at first
Under the impression that I had filmed the both of us in a dream

and I woke up with the video still on my camera and was as ec-
static as can be.
"Why do we look more Japanese in the playback?"
Some of the people, especially the girls, didn't like me for the fact
that they found me particularly devious/creepy. Some of them
knew that I left the camp at night and wandered around in the
dark doing strange rituals in secrecy
She and I were lounging around in each other's rooms during the
day. I had said something that cracked her up.
I came as close to Anita's face as is possible without it being called

a kiss, staring her right in her eyes. And I spoke to her, explaining
that I was committed to being the best, despite having so much
opposition and so much to push against, and that I did it all for
her. It was very dramatic. As I was fearing that she would be in-
fluenced by her friends’ unfounded opinions of me. We had dis-
agreements on occasion but worked beyond them. Cannot re-
member the details, only the impression. I think it was that all
her friends were getting strange vibes from me and also the fact
that I was said not to ‘eat or sleep‘ and I explained that this was
due to my physical condition.
189
"Do you still love me?”
“I've never stopped loving you,” she told me.
On the final day that I stayed in this place I was called by name
by a person I had not spoken to all week, and it was curious to
me for the fact that I had spoken to almost no one this whole
stay, except for Anita and the maintenance woman (who bailed
me out of trouble and was watching over me). The guy asked me
for a ‘chat handle‘, and I answered saying "I don't do that kind
of thing,” and walked away, rudely in retrospect. After him there
was a guy sitting on a bench with a similar request, wanting to
keep in touch even though we had never spoken before. "How
can I send you letters?'' Then he paused before asking "Are you
'Speedtube'?" and I looked at him and said "What? Where did
you hear that from?" "Back when we were all taking our inter-
active quiz, that was the only name on the list which I couldn't
tell who it belonged to." I admitted it, and he had me write down
further information in a small book of his. "Speed Tube"—not
only is this not a handle that I use in reality, but it is also a song
by P-Model that I start each day with, so I found its inclusion in
this dream both strange and funny.
Realized I was writing over top of other words that were written
in gray ink. Kept saying "Uh oh,” and made a bunch of mistakes
in writing my name. Had to write my name about fifteen times.
Having outlined it thickly in certain places.
My father arrived to pick me up and I collected my backpack.

However, upon leaving the property I realized that I had forgot-
ten something and ran back inside. As I was approaching the en-
try I could hear a multitude of children singing, or rather, shout-
ing in unison. I looked over through the gate and saw about thir-
ty children assembled to form a choir, but by the time I came
walking nearer they all concluded their song (naturally) and dis-
persed. I shouted "What the hell did I just miss?" and I could
hear someone in the background who stood with a camera say-
ing "That was one of the strangest things I've ever seen." On my
way walking toward the sidewalk path I noticed that there were
several sports teams playing games on the path. There were about
five different sports going on within such close proximity of each
other that they were essentially touching. I went walking down
the path to the dormitories, trying to cut through, when I almost
collided with a man who was trying to catch a ball or something,
he then pushed me gently out of the way saying "You shouldn't
stand here." But I was pushed right into the next game happening
just next to them, and I couldn't leave the perimeters of this game
because I would have to interrupt other games in order to do so.
I tried to stand at the side until I noticed an opening, however
I saw that someone made a move and then a guy came running
over to me fastly, putting his hand on my shoulder saying "You're
out!" and I responded, "No, I'm stuck. I'm not playing. I'm just
trying to cross.”
I became lucid twice in this dream. Hearing my lungs in my

sleep, thinking "What is that terrible sound?" Then I started
waking up when I realized it was my own breathing. Managed to
keep my dream.
Cutting mattresses? Jumping around in gray shorts in my under-

wear.
“WITCH WORLD”*
03/19/2013
Standing by an open door where I watched hundreds of bubbles
as they blew in my direction and I worked to deflect them. I sat
with my knees to my chest, attempting to duck behind a screen
while I spoke with two girls standing nearby (they lived here and
operated this ‘attraction’).
I was then told about a particular tree at the far end of the field
that would provide me with something of which I was in need.
"Oh, yeah, that strange tree that you were telling me about yes-
terday,” and she started shaking her head subtly while giving me
a look which implied that I must not say anything more for the
reason that her sister was an amnesiac and couldn’t learn that she
had been to this tree before and that they had a past with it.
I was standing at the center of a crowded gymnasium and search-

ing the crowd for something in particular. I held conversation
with one of the men my age and for whatever reason we decided
to fight each other so as to claim the other's main possession? I
can't remember much of this, and although we were fighting, we
were not permitted to show overt aggression in this place or else
we would be kicked out.
While going at it, I looked around and noticed that everyone

was staring at us, holding what looked to be handbills, and many
of them were either going to or coming back from a small desk
at the end of the room where this young man's father was sitting.
It seemed clear that they were wagering on the two of us, and
this was very much against the rules and for some reason this was
something that worked horribly against me for a reason I cannot
192
recall. I immediately paused the fight and walked over to one end
of the gymnasium and started convulsing in the angry and fitful-
ly demonic way I will often do in dreams when I'm suppressing
violent urges or psychotic displays.
With both of my fists clenched I stormed across the gymnasium

to the receptionist's deck, paying close attention to the people in
front of me, in line, talking to the father, who was a rather snaky
looking man (the father of the guy I was fighting). Not vile to
the sight, almost weak-like, but he had a very sneaky presence
to him. When he saw me standing angrily at the line he looked
over and feigned a smile, to which I responded in kind. I stood
where I was and shouted something to him, though still pretend-
ing to be kind. I implied that he was being unfair and criminal,
yet he feigned innocence, still forcing a smile. I then moved as
though I would walk away, yet moved about five paces to the
right, now at the other end of his desk, and said something addi-
tionally to him, calling him out in the same way as before. This
was not allowed, and I was likely to be kicked out of the game for
making such insinuations. Then he looked at me and said "You
know, I think I like you after all." He complimented my blunt-
ness and discernment and compared me to some man who many
of them once knew—a man who, I assume, had long been dead.
I was then shown several scenes of these people standing around
with a man whose name sounded like ‘Forge‘, and he was wide-
ly beloved for the the silly, sly and strange things he did, which
were often meant to convey valuable lessons. The people learned
a lot from his strange teaching style. This is the man to whom
I was being compared. I remember a video of something having
to do with three or so men standing in a boat while ‘Forge‘ was
swaying around in a jovial manner.
The son had spoken of Forge before.

The father was living in a broken down kitchen connected to the

demonic stair house.
This was a very strange house on a distant land mass that was
difficult to access because of the strange forests in between that
were filled with invisible traps. The house was dimly lit and there
were staircases everywhere. A strange and demonic old lady lived
there. The staircases were littered with animal carcasses.
There was an eerie song playing that seemed to mention my

name, although I couldn’t make out the lyrics. It had a very old
1920’s, 1930’s style and sort of reminded me of that creepy mum-
my song from Courage the Cowardly Dog. I asked my father if
he heard the song and he pretended as though it was all a coin-
cidence, but I knew that he was being disingenuous. This very
song had apparently been playing through the woods for decades
at this point, playing from the house of the town's demoniac,
which refers to yet another old woman (who was the owner of
this world).
“RUBID AT THE RESTAURANT”
03/20/2013
A stranger sent me their life story over chat (literally). I was
drunk and I couldn't read the story but recognized that it was
important. All of the text was phasing in and out and I kept
sticking my face against the monitor, trying to read it, but I
couldn't comprehend any of it because I was so out of it.
I was looking at peoples’ mouths and noticing how long it took

for them to chew their food. I was invited to a restaurant by
Rubid and perhaps a few others from back in the day. I had
my newsboy cap on. Took it off and it looked dusty. Something
about bumming a cigarette from Rubid and he pulled a prank on
me.
A girl snuck under the table while we were all sitting down talk-
ing. She was whispering to me, but then I stuck my head un-
der and explained that it was a bad time, that I was in a business
meeting. This angered her and she somehow ended up sticking
her head into some strange cylinder and began screaming until I
finally had to excuse myself and escort her out.
195
“SO, LET’S PLAY!”
03/21/2013
There was a party taking place in some building with many,
many rooms. I was walking back and forth from one room to
the next in the darkness carrying a Bible in my hand, citing
verses from Revelation about the judgments and demons in or-
der to ‘help myself ‘ (supposedly) from something that was tak-
ing place. We were hearing stories about these men that were dri-
ving around late at night and picking up people (young women,
in particular) and then killing them. It was a weird ‘craze‘,
though, because they were known to ask for permission before
killing their victims ("kill them kindly").
I had been feeling the effects of the alcohol, and after leaving the
party I walked a mile or two down the road in pure darkness be-
fore Lajos pulled up to me on the side of the road and picked
me up, warning me about the killers, saying "This is a bad time
to be walking around. And what about your lover? If I was you I
wouldn't leave her by herself in a time like this,” and he allowed
both me and Anita to come back to his place to stay the night.
(And it was the same house from before? With the party?)
At one point I received a phone call. I don't know if it was from

her, from my mother, or who, but they asked what I was doing,
and I said "I found a canvas, so I thought that I would paint a
portrait of Anita." And then I looked at the canvas, the phone
still in my ear, and I said "Oh, wait, it seems I've painted a por-
trait of my own chest. [...] It could probably be anybody's chest
though."
196
Anita and I slept in the same room but in separate beds. I had set
the alarm clock early and when I woke up I took a bunch of ro-
bot figures and went and sat over Anita playing with them. Then
I woke her up saying "There's still a couple hours before church,”
and I convinced her to stay around and play with me. Soooooo...
Let's PLAY!" I said while holding the robots over her and trying
to get her to take one of the figures.
When she awoke she turned to me and said, "It's so early. Did you
really set the clock for that early?"
“HOLE PUNCH”
03/22/2013
Bryant in a van of people calling out from the road and stopping
in, "HEY! THAT IS HIM!"
Conversing with Bryant. He commented about my strange

clothes. A track uniform? I was having a difficult time swallow-
ing.
Dead amphibians in a tank. Tickling. Putting a hole in the wall

and hiding from my mother. Kid trying to sell me something.
Accidentally driving the van. Walking across the street and look-
ing at the stars.
198
“I CAN DISAPPEAR”^
03/23/2013
Attempting to find my girlfriend at the end, though I kept for-
getting her name.
I was apprehended in the hallway by a group of girls and I told

them they needed to let me explain myself and this could all be
over with. Then I walked through a hallway with a cigarette in
my hand and one poured milk on it and it got on me (blamed
on me... like women ushers). I told the girls I could disappear.
They said “Let's see you try it!” I said "I haven’t tested it out yet.”
Footsteps could then be heard down the hallway, and they snide-
ly remarked, “Well, you have five seconds, oh magician.” Some-
one was coming. I needed to do it now. I began trying so hard
that my eyes were practically ripping apart, as if I was like undo-
ing stitches. Then I ripped one open completely into the waking
world but my right was still closed, and with this right one still
closed I said something like a witty comeback and then vanished
into the waking world, as it were, but this was actually my house
still within a dream, so I woke up within my dream.
I went lucid, and of all that I could be doing, I decided to sing

(and some long step-by-step process that I realized wasn't smart
because it was taking so long and was likely to disrupt my lucidi-
ty).
A congregation of people sat in a church sanctuary to watch a

performance ( though it seemed that for much of the time every-
one was just waiting / I don't remember any actual performance).
199
K and her parents were sitting in the row behind my family.

Causing a scene about ‘the boxes’.
When I awoke, there was a camera beside me in bed, but its

memory was empty. I was in my previous home in Londonberry.
My mother was yelling down the hallway. I went to go and see
what was going on and I found my father getting something
from the cabinet for my mother. It was after midnight, and she
was getting defensive and indignant when I became bothered by
the words she was using (‘word‘).
Patio
Everyone in this place seemed to dislike me or they were wary of

me and these bitter feelings grew as time went on.
Choosing which pew to enter when I walked in late after having

spent a while walking around in the hallway. Isaac and a group of
his friends stood up and left around the time that I returned.
My girlfriend had black, wavy hair. I spent a lot of the dream in

her company but I cannot recall the details so well. I pulled her
aside when they thought I was crazy and explained to her the
differences between the people walking last the window (people
looking for me on the long patio). One that I can remember was
fat, brutish guy. “Stability and instability" and it was not like it
seemed?
There was some strange device attached to my stomach when I

was in the sanctuary. I believe that Lajos and demons played a
role in the dream.
I realized I was dreaming partway through and I walked off

down the halls singing loudly and I went through some strange
step-by-step process. I remember thinking ‘It’s funny I am doing

such common things and such a risky, time consuming process’.
When I awoke in my bed, after prying my eyelids open, I ac-

knowledged the rapid beating of my heart, which I compared to
a hummingbird, and worried that this is typical of my dreaming
body.
Hells and hehs. Walking around asking everyone where my girl-

friend was. The Ried?
There was a giant blue bird in my backyard and I was watching it

intently. And one small one. It was digging through the ground.
My backyard looked like a minefield.
“PLUMLUST”
03/24/2013
Emptying out my bag of treats and purées on the table because
they were taking up too much space. Dogs and lizards were com-
ing over to the table trying to get at them, and me and whoever
was at the right hand side tried to figure out if it was harmful.
"I guess it's alright," and we let the animals have at it.
We broke it open and he tried it, saying it wasn't unusual. It

looked like purple spinach inside of a giant shell (which we com-
pared to a plum). Then we purposefully fed it to the animals.
A large brutish man came and sat down at the other end of the
table. I turned away for a second and when I turned back around
all of the giant shells were gone.
"You ate all of them?" I accused the man.
"No. I didn't touch them."
And the man at my right interjected, "You have purple all over
your cheek, your shoulder and your crotch."
Then I spoke up to my peer saying "How can you see his crotch
from where we are sitting?" (we are on opposite ends of the
table)
And then the brutish man spoke up indignantly, "Yeah, and stop
lusting after my crotch."
And I jumped up from the table and yelled "PLUMLUST."
202
Then I continued going on and on, saying this over and over
again. "Plumlust. One word. Plumlust. Pop band."
And I ran around this small green area saying this name again
and again. Then a large swing lowered from the trees and I
climbed onto it, standing as I swung between the trees high
above everyone else, maybe twenty feet in the air. Continued say-
ing "PLUMLUST HAHA!” like a lunatic over and over.
I was swinging on this very high swing in the end. At the end of
the dream I was swinging and shouted "3, 2, 1!” then I began to
leap off and woke up at this very moment.
Talking to a girl telling her she has one of my favorite laughs.

Then we were going around talking about other peoples’ laughs.
• Having to urinate, and I got up a million times. Once I jumped

up from my bed and noticed my blue light went out. I said
"Dammit,” and walked over to it to see if I had any more and then
went to go ask if my father could pick up any more.
“VIVISECTION”
03/26/2013
Just this morning that hamster was whole. “Experimented on the
hamster, vivisected it with her x friends.” She was talking about
pulling out all its organs like it was no big deal with her friends
Thinking that moving to this house was going to change my life

but then I moved down the street (only one mile from the aller-
gen?).
Pressing my face against the window in the morning after I woke

up. Some young guy was peeking through, and maybe a girl and
another guy. Trying to get an idea of the new neighbor. So I
feigned these fake sleep positions, trying to look like I slept in
strange ways, or was a certain type of person. Standing on top of
things playing this tune on guitar. Standing with one foot on the
cabinet and one on something else. Screwing with the radio. It
was playing pop music and I was trying to turn my amp louder.
Asia shows up to say that we've received our first warning, penal-
ty or strike—whatever it was. She was bragging about having
vivisected a hamster and I was so emotional and upset at what
she was saying. It felt like the most horrible crime. “Just this
morning it was just like you and, all of its organs, all of its life,”
and I got really graphic about it.
I was expressionless when she was first telling me, but suddenly
you can tell it was a little twisted, and I had a spoon just at the
floor beneath me, so when she was in a break from bragging, I
picked it up fastly and whipped it at her face as hard as can be. At
first I couldn’t tell if it hit her, but then a large drop of blood fell
204
from the right side of her mouth. She started crying, going "That
hurt.” I got up in her face and started reprimanding her.
When we were all in the living room and they were talking (fam-
ily) I remember saying a joke that was funny, my father tried to
say another as I was walking away and it was so stupid, and I said
HAHA WHAT!? as I walked to the upstairs bathroom.
"Who were you with?"
“Did Nanny not tell you their names?"
And almost as if I assumed that these were their names I ran

full force toward the door, flung it open, holding my arms far
apart to grasp the sides, and looked like crazed with anger, look-
ing from left to right as if I was going to kill someone. Then I
went back in and she said again "Did Nanny not tell you who
they were?"
Then I went to tell my parents.
Dog biting my hand.
Universal super scene "CHASTITY!"
"HEY WOMAN! YOUR DOG HAS THE WRONG IDEA!”
About ten redheads being chased down the street by a gigantic

ostrich? One daughter suggested they take the path between my
yard and the neighbors' yard.
One giant dog and several little ones. I had only just shut the
front door a minute earlier. I kept burning the dog with my cig-
arette, thinking that I had heard something about dogs being
slowed down by lighters, yet I was already almost done smoking
by the time it arrived, so I pulled out my lighter and started try-
ing to light it. The lighter was in the hand that it was biting and
so it was very difficult to get any sparks out of it.
Trying to think of ways to trick myself into thinking I’m not

dreaming.
1.5 miles from the allergen.
"Talking about the dream like I just woke up from it.”
Asia tried to leave but I kept her there by force saying, "NO. It is
time we fucking talked.”
“POP CULTURE BATHROOM
SHOW”
03/27/2013
Going lucid, given the choice whether to wake up right now so
that I can still recount all of the dreams events or keep the dream
and forget all the earlier details later.
There was some very annoying teenage guy in my strange, huge,

funhouse-looking bedroom. My room was all yellow, like a toy
factory. We were traveling through tubes and leaping into weird
pits and though this is the foggiest part of my dream it was likely
the strangest from what abstract recollections I have
I became annoyed with him and left, walking down the hallway
after having told him not to touch anything while I was gone.
There were several other guys invited in at that point and I was
afraid that they would steal/use my stuff. Asking questions.
After returning from the bathroom I went and hid in a dark

room in the very back by myself. I think I went into hiding be-
cause all of these girls were running through the hallway with
shrill voices and screams and I wanted to get out of their way. I
stood at the far end hiding, when a couple of girls walked in one
by one and started walking near where I was but didn't know I
was there (they were young girls, not within my age bracket) and
when they came near and their eyes adapted they began scream-
ing because I freaked them out (it's possible that I provoked
them). Then all the lights came on and the room filled up to the
brim with adults and the mothers of these girls and I totally got
stuck in the crowd unable to move toward the door. While I was
207
walking through slowly there were older women who would turn
to me and say "Hey! Kori!" All happily and surprised.
Answering the door?
Sitting in some dim-lit lounge with people next to me who were

talking about astrology and occult topics. I interrupted at one
point when they mentioned an astrological sign (Scorpio?) and
we're going over its quirks, and I said "My best friend is one of
those." (I am not sure who I was referring to with this). I remem-
ber saying the word ‘Footman’ in a suspiciously quiet manner to
myself several times. Turning to a guy on the other side of the
couch, saying "Wait—who are you?"
I spent a long time in the bathroom standing before the mirror.

It was a large bathroom with a very high ceiling and many men
seemed to just be loitering around. I stood with a can of hair-
spray, though I looked exceptionally old and worn out. My hair
had a reddish color to it and no matter how I sprayed it it would
not stand high but would grow horizontally. A mortician stand-
ing by the doorway then looked over to me and said "Tendon,
that looks better than it normally does." "Really?" "Yeah, it looks
great like that."
Right when I was walking out of the washroom I looked over

on the other end of the room to a high shelf/ledge that was just
below the high ceiling where there was kept an indian/senior
albino on the ledge with several guardsmen keeping him safe.
When I laid eyes on him I was creeped out, having realized I
wasn't supposed to see him because it wasn't expected that peo-
ple would stare so high up in the room considering they were
all busy with... bathroom matters. He had a mummified posture
and skin the color of dead pale and very long white hair, looking
frozen but I know he was alive.
After stepping out of the bathroom I went to a room where there

were many monitors stacked in display and the whole purpose
of this room and its monitors was specifically for watching game
shows. I stared at the screen as the contestants were introduced
and upon noticing familiar faces I thought "Oh! I know them!
Alright! I get to see how intelligent they are!" and then I paused
as the game was being explained and I became gravely disap-
pointed. "Oh no... it's pop culture,” and I ran out of the room and
went screaming down the hallway while I ran.
When I returned to my bedroom the guy accused me of taking

a ridiculously long amount of time, and I said "I've only been in
the bathroom for x minutes." He must have touched something
rare that belonged to me and there was now a problem because
of it.
Acting like ‘hero‘ in the basement. Laughed at what those people

said even when only one guy knew I was there and I wasn't part
of their conversation "That was funny and I don't even know the
whole story!"
Went doing flips up the stairs while running off. I heard one of
the girls saying "Did... he seriously just do that? Did he actual-
ly just run off doing some weird acrobatic jumps...?" And I burst
out laughing while heading up the stairs.
In the final scene I returned to the lounge and stole a bowl con-
taining a stew of some sort and I ended up heading to a strange
railcar. I was taking the bowl to my father because it was unpoi-
soned. I believe my mother had been preparing food for every-
one and I saw what she was doing, so I took this bowl before
she added poison to it (like she was doing to all others) so that
I could make sure I brought it to him, guaranteeing that he
got a good ration. It was a strange, victorious final scene. Going
through narrow tracks on cliff ledges and dark mining tunnels at

a high speed in some valiant pose with the bowl stretched out-
ward in my hand.
“POLICE PAL”
03/28/2013
I was driving down the road until eventually swerving off the
path, having floored the wrong pedal, and I went launching up
a small mound and crashed into a wall. Immediately before the
crash I looked down the street and noticed a police car on my
right-hand side. I thought "Oh... no,” and he started driving over
just after I crashed. I stepped out of my vehicle, preempting his
interrogation, and attempted to clarify that I was not inebriated,
just nervous (although I actually remember thinking I had just
had some red wine and so I was afraid he would find out). He
asked me several questions in the parking lot, though he seemed
to accept that I was just anxious, while I was describing how
something malfunctioned. Then he found out I had no license
and that this was not my car.
Gradually, others began to show up in the parking lot, checking

to see if I needed help—including my father and several random
boys. My father explained to the officer that I had my permit
(though he did not explain that it had expired more than half a
decade ago). For some reason, the cop was not only understand-
ing, but slowly started warming up to me. The wall I had crashed
into was near some sort of rest stop area where there was a large
convenience store with a small fast food station built in. He in-
vited me to come grab something to eat. We walked over to the
entrance, but once we went inside I looked down at my feet and
said "Ooooh, no. I've no shoes on my feet. I can't come in here,”
and I exited the building.
"What? That's so stupid. It doesn't matter,” said the officer.
211
“They won't let me in without shoes.”
He kept refuting, saying "Who cares? It doesn't matter."
For some reason I was very strict on this rule, and it was not until
I called over my father and had him lend me his shoes that I fi-
nally went in.
After I returned, I was standing in a furnished basement (which

resembled Patrick’s basement) playing live music with people I
do not know in reality. When we began a new song they started
sharing sexual anecdotes and jokes. I grew frustrated and tried to
get them to stop and focus. They wouldn’t stop and then tried to
hide innuendos in the lyrics after making me think that they had
stopped. Eventually, I put my fingers in my ears, started yelling
some wordless nonsense just to drown out their voices, and I ran
up the nearby stairs in this dramatic way, coming out into a small
kitchen while still yelling with my ears plugged and eyes closed.
I sat down in a chair at the table and looked around, noticing
that my mother was preparing food for ‘guests‘? (In an almost
bed and breakfast kind of setting), yet there was only one oth-
er person, a young woman sitting in what was technically the
next room over, however, she was sitting at a chair at another
table only about 10 or 15 feet from myself, past another door-
way, yet she was turned in her chair facing right at me. She in-
quired, "What's wrong? Is their music that awful?" insinuating
this was the reason for my running. I sighed, saying, "No, it's not
that. They were just being inappropriate." She looked at me with
a sort of confused, unsure smile, having not expected an answer
like that. After a bit of silence I clarified, saying “Well, I'm asexu-
al,” and I tried to explain it even though she probably understood
right away, but I explained it by explaining pretty much every-
thing else and then coming back to say, "Everything else is me."
My mother then came walking from the stove with a plate and a
sandwich on the plate, saying "Oh no,” and it was clear that the
toast was not fully thawed on top, though she persisted in try-
ing to bring it to this woman. I sat slouched (but looking very
cool), saying "What? You can't give that to her.” Then she said
"What am I supposed to do with this one then?" and I said "You
can scrape off the top and make snow cones,” and the girl at my
right started telling a story about how her friend was just talking
about snow cones earlier that day. I kept getting nervous during
this discussion though, terrified they would use the word that is
not allowed to be spoken in our house.
Shortly after the girl came over to my table and started different
conversations with me. I can't remember their content, but I can
recall having acted coolly. I was being polite, like a good host,
yet I was indifferent at the same time, at least to the fact that she
was clearly taking a liking to me, and I just didn't seem to care.
I think eventually after my mother screwed up too many times
I just got up and fixed her something myself, along with a meal
of my own. Then I remember hearing a beautiful melody, and I
think I interrupted our conversation to say "How can they have
turned something so lewd into such a pretty melody?" Then the
girl looked around and said "I think you're talking about the ra-
dio over there.” I had mistaken it for the music being played in
the basement.
“MONASTIC”
03/29/2013
I got ready to walk out without anyone knowing but decided to

walk back to the corridor to tell the three of them, getting their
attention to say "Hey, unless it starts soon I'm just going to head
back.”
"Is there another event?"
"Look at your list, maybe at 6:30 or something... yesterday the fi-

nal events started at 6:30."
I was wearing beads while walking around during a very strange

church holiday. I was wearing tons of beads by the end. I inten-
tionally kept them without giving them back. The beads, resem-
bling golden mardi gras beads, were compounding throughout
the final quarter of the dream till finally it was the most ridicu-
lous sight... wearing maybe seventy necklaces.
Having been walking around with my scrubs in my hand. Stand-

ing in the bathroom with the black guy and the white guy.
"No really. We are like the five coolest guys there are."
Then weird things happened to all five guys. Some guy was look-
ing at a table trying to find use of a small glass, I said "Shine it
over the glasses in the cabinet. Find out which one is pure (I had
been here before and I knew the answer to all the riddles?). There
were several other mystery items like this that had a single myste-
rious purpose within the monastic room where we were locked.
214
I was hanging out with these girls for a while. Lots of people
from church. Lying outside on the ground - ''S was on top of
me in a weird sexual position." I know Asia was there sometimes.
Guy pulled out his grape drink from the fridge and intentionally
splashed and soaked me with it and grape was all over the floor
and on my clothes. Me and the four other guys sitting at a table
or to the front two rows of a pew. Florentin was one of them, he
was sitting to my immediate right. I'm not sure if I said it or one
of them, but it said "Look at us." We were all wearing dark clothes
and sitting coolly. We were fighting quietly among ourselves with
hateful words.
I went to use the bathroom and I can recall wanting to change

into my scrub bottoms, though two guys and a girl came walking
into the room and I stopped. They were doing something with
a refrigerator I believe. I can remember the guy putting some
drinks in there.
Monastery-like building / lock-in. Walking around in the park-

ing lot where everyone was spending the late hours of night. Girl
asked me how her taste compares to my sister's taste. I made
some comment about saying that my sister has no taste, making
a spiteful comment about her and a certain few Korean men.
Though I was with four young men for the first part of the
dream, by myself for the middle, I was with two or three young
women in the last quarter. How these four men all had some-
thing strange happen to them after that moment where I had
him hold up the glass to check the other glasses for impurities.
The one to resemble Florentin got stuck in a large piece of glass
like jewelry is kept in, and all of these bleeding barbs fell through
him and pierced him while he lay in this glass case. I cannot re-
member what happened to the other three, but they each met
equally strange moments (where though they were technically

killed, it almost felt like they were undergoing metamorphosis.
Something that was worse for me than it was for them). one
guy was ripped open out of nowhere... one guy might have got
stuck in the floor or wall. They mocked and embarrassed me over
something.
“BACKWARDS YELLOW”
03/29/2013
I was in a large monastic sanctuary yet again. This time I walked
into the sanctuary where there were more than a hundred peo-
ple, all divided among a multitude of tables. They were in the
middle of a prayer service, and it was inappropriate that I had
entered when I did, though I walked slowly around the room
looking for people I knew, though everyone had their faces down
against the table which made it difficult. I walked around hunch-
ing so that I could make out at least some features of the individ-
uals, I finally found a few that looked familiar and so I sat at their
side. When I sat down I can remember the priestly man making a
strange comment to end the prayer and I can remember thinking
it exceptionally informal. After the prayer ended we all stood up
and were allowed to do what we wanted. I had one young man
stand still, and then to time it correctly he would do some fast
twirl, when I would kick him with the inside of my foot, and
when we did this, I struck him in this way so that he let out a
backward exclamation to escape from his song. I remember one
of the words he used being similar to "Yellow."
217
“SAMPLE SIZE BUDDY”
03/30/2013
I was staying with three girls and their mother in some building.
At first they were in the basement and some guys were playing
music with them in their band, and when they came up I made
a comment about the annoying music and there was a collective
'Ooooh'. Rummaging through something... folk indie... sitting
with my feet out on the glass table. Walking around the kitchen
talking to their mom about something. There was something
goofed up with my dream, like I was half in and half out and I
didn't plan to stay here. The few of us maybe went on a short
walk to a gas station? I knew I was only partially in a dream?
The next thing I know I was standing on a long porch with my

father and a short, bald man. I presented several arguments to
do with the topic of ‘basing decision from logic vs. basing deci-
sion from emotion‘ while arguing in favor of the former. I cannot
recall the points I proposed, yet I can remember having word-
ed something in an unrefined way, prompting the short man to
say in a rather sarcastic, condescending tone "I don't know what
sample size you've pulled that one from, buddy." Though I rec-
ognized my inappropriate wording and that if only I would re-
word it that my point would make more sense to them, I decided
against it, conceding to the short man since I felt it was all futile
anyway given our differences.
After this conversation, my father handed me a golden, rotary di-

al telephone, saying that I was allowed to take this now that I had
achieved ‘graduation‘ or something along those lines. I had for-
gotten this custom, saying "Really?" when he put it in my hands.
There was maybe something about me being able to pick some-
218
thing else if I wanted another thing instead, yet I did not wish
to change. While we both stood here, several others came close-
by, including several people I may have known, and they started
pulling out small film strips, yet they were apparently developed
from wrong rolls, and they all looked at their respective pictures,
each making comments like "This is not my life..." "Who is this?"
and I can recall having seen someone's photo where it showed
two people kissing, yet neither of the two looked familiar and
they certainly bore no resemblance to the man who had it devel-
oped from his own personal roll.
“SILVER FUTURE ACCESSORY”
03/30/2013
Walking through some strange building on a mountaintop with
a very futuristic appearance—like a large convention site. There
were many people gathered on the mountain, and every so often,
while passing by the people, it was accepted that someone might
place an item or accessory somewhere on your body, typically
without even saying anything, and you were to leave it on. This
was the standard.
The paths you walked decided which sorts of people would con-
gregate in that specific area, which would determine, essentially,
what items were placed on you. Eventually I had several of these
accessories on my self, although I didn’t have nearly as many as
most people and I noticed mine were often very strange, look-
ing futuristic if only for the fact that they often resembled alu-
minum, with shiny silver colors. The final accessory was a piece
over my mouth that almost resembled a respiratory mask, how-
ever it also changed my voice and I eventually learned to use it
as an instrument. I never saw who put this piece over my mouth
because they came from either behind or above and left quickly.
Upon seeing my get-up, people seemed to imagine that I was fa-

mous in some way, and a lot of children took to me.
Seeing Lajos in the high building after the girl fixed my hair. She
had a very strange accent and didn't talk much and was listen-
ing to bizarre music. There was a jungle gym/playset climbing.
A theater room with Florentin or Lajos. Running up the stairs.
I yelled out something from the audience that was maybe con-
sidered rude or bold and some people were disgruntled at what I
220
said because I was called up by the man at the top (Lajos?) who
was standing on the balcony because he was interested in hearing
more of my opinion. I followed him up the staircase at the right
side of the room and sat down on the balcony with him cross-
legged staring over all the persons below.
"Why is he always getting to do stuff like that?" someone asked,

frustrated by me being shown special attention, and Lajos said
"Because I am interested in what he has to say."
Something about using a phone to write messages to Kenny. I

thought I sent the third one but realized that I never did. It was
speaking in third person, speaking about Kenny to Kenny. Some
guy in a mart talking about ghosts. It was a guy who apparently
used to play music with me. He looked taken aback at one point
when I said something about recording, acting as if what he and
I recorded in the past was illegitimate because it did not follow a
certain process (or have a certain feel). He kind of reminded me
of AS. I suggested we try again sometime at music and was think-
ing in my head of what the third musician would be, because we
often changed the third man and it was never static, so I thought
of a particular man who had a beard, "Buddy"? and thought he
would work best with us.
Some pornographic reference? People were surprised that I rec-

ognized it.
In the high room on the mountain while I was in the queue there
was a girl in the window to the left who was getting me to make
my noise from my mouthpiece. Acting like a fan just a little bit.
Smiling at me while I made this strange, deep, muffled, resonat-
ing sound. We were making a weird tune back and forth at a dis-
tance.
“RECONNAISSANCE”
04/02/2013
As we were laying in bed together, she turned to me, pointed to
the clock and said “By 6:30 tomorrow morning I will already be
getting on the plane, traveling back." Then she told me that her
one wish was that the two of us would lay in bed until it was time
for her to go.
I can remember that the lights were on, and there was a large bed
with a large comforter, an entertainment system at the other end
and a small nightstand near to us, where I kept cigarettes and a
tobacco pipe.
We laid in bed for hours, kissing and twisting around on the

comforter. At one point I can recall two other people had en-
tered the room and they sat at the far end of the bed and made
cute comments about us. What romantic thing I thought to say,
"I don't want you to be just a photograph in my book." But I nev-
er said it and later when I tried to pull the line up for an oppor-
tunity I couldn't remember it and got frustrated.
I felt self-conscious of wearing the same outfit more than once

during her stay, and so I kept trying to remember to change my
clothes every morning, yet it was frustrating for me to have to
choose an outfit and sometimes I would tense up if I found that I
was wearing the same clothes twice (which is odd when you con-
sider my habits in reality).
I was then speaking to the guy who allowed us to stay here while
standing in the doorway. I was approached by a tall man in a
black coat and a thick brimmed hat who came walking down the
222
hallway and made some sly, suspicious comment. The guy who
I was talking to made a pained face. The hat man then looked
at me with a devious smile and walked down the staircase. This
was the guy who we were either after or he was after us. What-
ever it was, this was a bad situation. He knew where we were
staying. I then found out that the man who was speaking with
me, this man my own age, was his son, yet he feared for me and
my lover. We then walked down the stairs and stepped outside
the small pub, where the man asked me what I was going to
do. He asked "Did you record that whole conversation?" because
he knew what we were up to. I answered, "No. I didn't. I don't
record. I handle the simpler reconnaissance." Then the guy said
"Right. You only wear disguises, which is more to say that you
wear too many clothes at once."
"Where did he (your father) go? Is this threat immediate?"
I had seen him through the door, walking to the left side of the
room and disappearing into the back (of the pub).
Something about him compiling official, formal, legal docu-

ments or something because he was able to get us in trouble in a
way without also getting himself in trouble.
Walking around town? Food shopping? Someone making com-

ments about how cute of a couple we were while we were kissing.
We kissed for so long in this dream over her several day stay. I
remember changing my house. I remember her smoking. I kept
walking around, and I think it was I who was making some shrill,
piercing noise for some specific reason. How did I end up finding
her? (hiding by bushes, stairs?) Being self-conscious that I could
no longer sing. I believe she did, though.
I remember sitting with her in what looked to be a sanctuary for

a very long time and I can remember thinking of some perfect
thing I wanted to say to her, but later on when I had the chance
I had forgotten and I was upset. I cannot remember most of this
dream spent with her, since much of it was conversation, kissing
or walking around, and I have only retained the impression. The
detail and depth were astounding, though.
“BLOOD BUBBLES”
04/04/2013
Blood in bubbles. Dead skin. Two bathrooms. I was listening to
new music of mine on headphones. Girl on the roof area who
had a very strange laugh or something had her dog brought upon
the roof.
Asia and I had a huge quarrel. I went outside with my mallet.

Writing this down in my dream and always being interrupted
when I would tell dad.
A deranged dog walking down the street heard me make a noise

and came running.
"It’s a pregnant mother and it will be more aggressive.”
Telling my mom about something excited and yelling something

like "Half-speed sport fucker," with an emphasis on the expletive.
A deranged dog came walking down my street (now I was here

at my present residency), looking pronouncedly ugly in its facial
features and bearing some measurably rabid effect. It was almost
to have passed my street by without noticing me at my deck,
however, I made a single careless movement and I scuffed the
lawn chair a few inches upon my deck, gaining its attention from
afar. It walked slowly toward my house with a startling aggres-
sion. My father was on the deck at this point, and he noticed that
the dog was pregnant, leaving it capable of more defensive ag-
gression than is common. It tried to get into my house. It chased
the cuff of my pant leg as I kicked my foot around. I can recall
having dropped my lit cigarette to the deck, kicking it slightly so
225
that it seemed appealing to the dog, ultimately trying to get it to

eat the burning cigarette.
Hammer descriptor (long, yellow handle, smashing it against the

outside wall and driveway. Standing on top of the car talking
to father). Car pileup (4 cars stopped. Honking. Then they all
laughed. One was a clownish car. Two people to each car. 6 of the
8 people were heading to the same race place. Canyon? looking
for treasure?)
Return complaint items. Talking on the phone in my old house.

Trying to get the dog to eat my cigarette.
I went for my headphones and portable music player, discovering

new Tendon Levey tracks that were absolutely brilliant from
what I can recall.
In the final scene I walked the halls in search of the bathroom,

eventually coming upon two that were side by side. I had to com-
pare the two before choosing one.
Once in the bathroom, I stood before the mirror, as I will often

do in dreams, staring intently at my reflection. I noticed large
soap bubbles falling off my chin—continuously so. Each bubble
contained a single drop of blood within its center. I looked
around to see where they were coming from and looked to the
ceiling and noticed a drip directly above myself, recognizing that
this was responsible for every bubble, but I could not discern
where the blood was coming from. After seeing several bubbles
float away, I slowly cocked my head, looking beneath my chin to
see the area corresponding to my laryngeal prominence and just
above it the flesh was all raw and cancerous. This was the cause
of the blood. I stared at this strange area on my neck until I woke
from my dream.
“GALAXY TYPEBOARD”
04/05/2013
"Man I'm using this stupid galaxy keyboard tow rite down
kdreamkeywprds to remind me when o wake up. Worst part is m nt
in finding the eys that resemble the alphaet the modt. Im just typing
on my usual spot.”
A voice yelling the word “WAYKO PLAT!” in my ear. It must

have been the sound of my alarm clock saying “Wake up!”
When the guys computer fried it played a twenty second metal

clip
Then it showed a warping city/commercial where people were

walking around in this small town scar,the whole scene rippled
like water, and then all of these color bars went up and the com-
puter died.]
This is when he tried to relate to my frustration with the galaxy

alphabet talking about ‘pornography‘, how he drilled a hole into
the keyboard and tried to hook it up with the VCR to record
something on VHS ("because that’s what we do"). When he
plugged the holed keyboard into the computer it showed the
dead public service advertisement, ‘Feeling lost?‘
I kept saying "Oh man,” as if I knew what he was talking about.
I was sitting in a chair when a guy began laying all of these drug
cards in my lap, saying "That's weird. I'm only feeling the (?),” and
he took four.
227
I was looking for someone and planning to call her. I was fixing
my hair and needed to clean my room. She was dropping my sis-
ter off somewhere. I misunderstood and thought this meant she
was returning but she wasn’t.
There was a girl. I did a hells and hehs in her face and pounded
my chest. Walking down the street. Plants? I used an amazing
line with her and tried for the whole dream to keep track of it
so that I could write it down when I woke up in the bathroom
staring into the mirror with the lights low (natural light from
windows only) and I noticed my hat next to the trash can. Then
I tried to bury something within the trash can which was filled
with tissues because I didn’t feel up to going downstairs to dis-
card it.
The girl showed up at the end at the lounge where I was at. I was
sitting just to the left of the doorway, and she came walking in
and kept on walking, not having seen me, but the girl who was
with her looked to me immediately and came close, asking me a
question which I cannot recall. I provided her an answer that was
so obviously wrong and she got frustrated with me, then asked
another question. I did it again with a sly smile on my face. I de-
nied the rest of her questions and she was getting angrier before
eventually accepting that I was just playing around.
“THE BICEP”
04/07/2013
Drinking my wine in my bedroom and walking around in the
early AM waiting to leave for vacation. Couldn't buy wine yet in
my state and me and my family were going to pick up some on
the road. There was a name of a location written on my bicep. My
father asked what it said. I kept responding with, “Doesn’t mat-
ter. It is the bicep of my past.” and I refused to elaborate.
The night before, when I was getting ready to leave, I waited at

this strange futuristic harbor port on these stairs while I kept
yelling down to some sort of disc jockey who was in a small levi-
tating booth attached to a raft of some sort in the middle of the
room. I waited for Anita for a long time, and when it finally came
time to leave and she had not come, and when the rest of the
world who I was waiting for did not come, me and the DJ knew
that I had to leave a note, and apparently the only way I could
leave was by urinating down this long slope that went and ran
down the raft, changing the color of some of the objects along
the path. I remember him commenting about how "I had good
ideas."
229
“IMPROMPTU OVERNIGHTER”
04/07/2013
My father and I went to a convenience store where I spent a long
time picking out candy. In the end, after picking out a bunch of
candy I realized that I had to put them all back because I could
not have them anyway (likely to do with my inability to eat them
and not a financial reason).
When leaving the store I had to walk through a small crowd

of people my age who had just entered, and so when I walked
through I can remember passing right by Bryant (keytarist in
my old band). He was not looking in my direction, although I
brushed right past him as I was leaving. so I continued on my
way and walked out into the parking lot to the car. It was evening
and I can recall a terrible ghoulish dog lurking in the area beyond
my car by the edge of the tree line. When I went to open the car
door, after some deliberation I decided to return to the conve-
nience store and say hi to Bryant since several years had passed
since I last saw him.
When I was back to the entryway I noticed that he and his group
were leaving and so he was standing outside. His back was turned
so I walked up a sort of three-step staircase before the entryway
and I stood behind him in the hopes that he would be shocked
when he noticed my presence. When he finally turned around
he greeted me, though not seeming surprised and not reacting
much. I said "You're not surprised that I am here?" and he ex-
plained why he wasn't, offering some strange explanations about
how I had never left and how he had commonly heard stories
about me being sighted around town and what I had been up
to in these many years and he had made assumptions, howev-
230
er, these were false rumors, and I explained, "I don't know what
you've heard, but I've been totally isolated for the past five years."
Though my presence still seemed unremarkable to him. I can re-
call the look on my father's face, who stood nearby when I had
been speaking with Bryant, and he seemed sympathetic to my
situation since he knew that it was bothersome to me that I had
not been able to surprise another with my presence since this was
something I was really looking forward to.
We spoke for several minutes of random topics, saying some-

thing about books which I cannot recall, and then I was invited,
whether by him or by someone else to a sort of overnight ‘lock-in‘
at a local monastery. I took my father aside after several minutes
and told him that it may be completely haphazard of me, consid-
ering my condition and the fact that it was arduous enough hav-
ing come even this far, but that I decided I would just not think
about it and just force myself into this situation.
We spoke about it more while we walked to the car, and I re-

member looking for the ghoul dog on our way back, trying to
make sure it wasn't still to be found hanging around the vehicle.
We got in the vehicle and began pulling out to leave, though I
remember seeing the dog once we began driving away, as it ran
by in some eerie ghostly sprint from left to right and then disap-
peared. I was then driven to the monastery.
I went running out into the hallway where I ran from one end to
the other, and there was a girl who was leaning against the wall
by one of the hall doors who made a comment when I came by,
remarking about how ‘cute‘ and ‘excitable‘ I was, because when
I ran she commented about my eyes lighting up, and something
about my ‘three‘ dimples (three?). I said "Really?" and she re-
sponded by saying "You don't know your own features?" and I
said "Oh, I just haven't thought about them in that way." Despite
her seemingly having taken interest in me and also that she bore
a slight resemblance to Anita, I continued running to wherever I
was going.
When I reached the other end of the sanctuary near the entrance
I ended up stopped by a large group of children who followed
one man (a man I recognized from my past who worked in my
childhood church). I ran around the corner to the staircase and
waited, in much the same manner as before, to shock him with
my presence. Unfortunately, I cannot remember his response.
When I first entered into this monastery, having entered into
a small dark lounge where everyone was sitting, I stood coolly
leaning against what was either the wall or the couch. People
were walking around the halls in groups performing activities.
Sitting for a while in the dark lounge room. There were several
times during this stay where I feared I wouldn't make it through
the night for reason of my disease, and I was afraid I would have
to call my father for help. I can remember one scene in partic-
ular when I stood alone at the center of a staircase deliberating
whether I should call him or not. It was not that I wasn't enjoy-
ing myself here, but that I couldn't believe I had allowed myself
so suddenly into this situation after all that time being unable to
leave my house.
Someone got frustrated with me because I was "using too many

science terms?” Making stupid jokes or snide comments when I
would pass by others in the hall.
I came upon some girl at the very far end of the halls in her own
private corner who had set up a small barricade of some sort and
we spoke for a while. Help someone untangle something? After
a while I felt that all the conversations were uninteresting and
unstimulating. I was asserting myself into everyone else's conver-

sations. I stayed back in the dark lounge when everyone left for
another event and eventually some guy came back and was con-
fused as to what I was doing (I have no idea what I was actual-
ly doing though) and I was now wearing my dilapidated harem
pants and a large strange mask. A group of several guys were
bragging about something and then included me in the conver-
sation but realized I was a ‘champion‘ at what they were talking
about. The monastery was in a far-away mountainous region. I
ran around in the drive-way alone late at night on one occasion
when I got bored with their conversations. At the very end I was
riding in a car while staring at the radio while it played some talk
show. I kept thinking, "This guy with the boring voice...I know
this guy."
“MISSING THE AUCTION”
04/22/2013
I missed an online auction because I was staring at another page.
Then I clicked over and only nine seconds remained and it wasn't
enough time and I didn’t even bid and it sold for twenty dollars
less than one I would have gone for. It was not only the thing that
I wanted but also came with some large gold hat-rack and a giant
animal thing? Indian elephant? I was so upset I couldn't handle
it.
Something else to do with me trying to write them, getting them

to include me in and then sending me a plate with crackers and
cream cheese? I had written to the seller and they felt bad for me
so they sent me crackers and my mother was to say "That's so nice
of them!" and I thought "Yeah, but the other person got twice as
many crackers.”
I was running around with my father. My mother was acting evil,

I remember, and I was there with my grandparents, and grand-
mother asked something and I remember enlightening her as to
how my mother behaved... since she was largely unaware of all
that my mother put me and my sister through.
234
“AGE-BASED CONDITION”
04/24/2013
I was with a girl who was usually older but was now young.
"You’re the only one I’ll kiss and I will kiss you a thousand more
times."
I felt very strange. I had my glasses on and I didn't know how to

react while others were looking at me. She changed ages several
times within the dream.
Sam and the photography booth. Sam stole batteries from an

adapter.
There were still signs of food on the table from our last visit.
There was an old lady sitting at the table as I was running around.
"Let’s grab a pizza and go,” I said. I pulled out a cigarette and then
he took it and I said “Oh, I thought that was my cigarette."
We all departed at the end. Three guys showed up, each with
slick hair and I commented that they looked like superheroes.
Then I pointed "No, this guy is the real superhero,” although I
don’t recall what I was pointing at.
Sitting in her bedroom while telling her the story of the one I
loved and what ended up happening to me. (kind of confused
the stories a bit though / confusing three different girls together
/ Anita and two others ...?) She talked on and on about how she
loved her parents? asked me about my parents
235
Those two dogs who were coming at me in the kitchen of the

house had very strange personalities, and motivations, almost
like humans ( one yellow and one black)
She confided a lot of personal information to me when I spent

the night. Her room was so ridiculously girly in its color scheme.
My hair was huge and I was wearing my NASA shirt (essentially
how I looked in reality at the time). The girl kept jumping on my
back. I was the only one who took care of her even though she
dated my ‘friend‘ and then she jumped off of the bed onto me.
I behaved so coolly. She never freaked out about her condition.

She maybe understood it and expected it, but it never made sense
why it happened or when it happened (and by her condition
I mean that her age was erratic and changing constantly). The
mother trying to give me food to take home and standing out-
side waving goodbye (almost like an airport-type setting).
My story about Anita got interrupted but I forgot why. It was

strange the way I was telling the story though, because I'm pretty
sure it began with elements of the punk rock concert. I was just
trying to show her how I relate, because she kept quizzing me
about how little emotion I show (friendliness is not an emotion).
"Let’s grab a pizza and take off running.”

“DEAD PUPPETEER”
04/24/2013
I was with her for a while in a large hallway that bore off into sev-
eral rooms before she had to leave for some reason. I saw men-
tal images of her and I at this sort of canyon? waterfall area with
a small house/shack nearby? (when thinking of ball lightning).
Her friend died and waited for the longest time that I would be
able to see her. Her friend who was a puppeteer died while she
was away, while I was taking to her other weird puppeteer friend
“I have attitude, that's why I need [?].”
There was a DJ just behind us when we finally started talking and

annoying little boys. She finally showed up and beckoned to me
that I come over to where she was standing. She made me guess
the best songs of an album without (her favorites) without look-
ing at it. CD present?
I was walking around with a present for her this whole time. I
finally suggested "Do you want to go outside?" Then I went to
grab my hoodie from underneath something and walked into the
next room and she was putting on her jacket and we were walk-
ing up this twisting stairwell. I sat waiting for a very long time,
very anxious at what seemed to resemble the sideline of a large
hotel banquet hall.
Was it a holiday? I was made to think it was Valentine's day (an

allusion to my concert experience?).
I sat alone for much of this time waiting for my girlfriend to ar-
rive. At one point two of her friends came over. One stood in
front of me and the other climbed upon a couple of the boxes at
237
my right side and sat down. The one in front of me was a pup-
peteer also. When the girl died, the one in front of me went rush-
ing over as soon as she saw what happened ( I was the one to
have alerted them of the accident ‘cause I could see the face and
shoulders of the dead girl lying across the room beyond the table
(she was dressed up in elaborate, strange costume). The one at
my right side had a really hard time emotionally in getting up
and going over and she finally did when I said some sort of en-
couraging line (I can't remember what the hell I said).
Sitting outside. She put her hands through my hair.
Lightning L——song (Lightning Lightrod, Lightning Light-

song, Lightning House). Ball lightning:
"Is it that one? That sounds familiar."
"Where do you see that one? I don't remember it."
It was written in strange vertical text on the left side of the back-
side. Didn't know if she knew about her friend.
“PIERCING THE LIP”
04/25/2013
Egg growing outline on someone’s head. I had a whole bunch
of dolls brought with me to this place (they were all stuffed in
a dresser). Dark skinned guy tried to pierce my lip with a file
in the bathroom. Looking for an operation(al) bathroom in the
basement and the guys were packing/cleaning, asking if I was ‘a
drifter‘ or something. The ceiling was so low that I could bare-
ly make it to my clothes and couldn’t find my corduroys. Some-
thing about Jesus.
In the basement with several people. I told the guy about my old
lip ring, how I pierced it with an earring after he said in an ag-
gressive way "Let's give you a lip ring.” I was nervous about going
to the other bathroom because he was following me. There was
a laboratory room. Apartments? Snow bombs? LARGE dog. I
was sitting around a table for food... Christie was there, sitting on
stairs with that guy. The stairs you had to duck for when coming
out. I kept almost walking into it.
Found out this one girl, "Christie?" was my “biological" sister.
What was going on outside on the sidewalk? I remember for-

getting my cigarettes and my mom walked out with them. Feud-
ing with Christie. And then I figured maybe it made sense that
she knew she was my sister, because when she heard about some
unique ability I had she said "That's weird, I don't have that."
239
“IS SHE STUPID?”
04/26/2013
I can only remember standing within a dim-lit room over a table
with a colleague when I noticed that a young woman kept walk-
ing by the nearby window. I asked why she would stick around
when she hates me, my colleague disagreed, saying she's interest-
ed in me, and I said "That can't be. She kept getting in my way
earlier while I was working and so I scolded her and she went
walking out." "I know. Now she likes you." "What? Is she stupid?
Is she one of those people?" (referring to people who are attract-
ed to mistreatment... not that I was mistreating her, exactly, al-
though I did scold her harshly for whatever she did)
240
“GROOMPIECE”
04/28/2013
Conga line. Wedding cakes. Hiding in deep layers. I don't know
what the hell this was supposed to be. Laboratories/cog Lajos/
Rubid/ ROAD TRIPS /lucidity
Two guys lifted me up by my arms and carried me across some-

thing. Suzie got into my house. I returned her to the neighbors.
I was thanked by several people when they found out I was re-
sponsible for something else.
There was a laboratory. There was a conga line (which I was at the
front of ). There was a young woman who kept trying to follow
me into the bathroom. There was the neighbor's dog that entered
my house. I walked around for a long while with a large wedding
cake in my hands while a young man, looking like Florentin, was
trying to pilfer the groom piece from the top of the dessert. Ru-
bid appeared every so often doing who knows what. There was
a moment where I was feeling the wall with my hands and I be-
came lucid, saying to myself, "Well, if that's all it takes, I'll just use
this as the item that will remind me that I am dreaming." but I
have forgotten what this item was (something purple in color?)
But I lost my lucidity when the layers of my dream began acting
up.
241
“THE SPACETRACK”^
04/29/2013
Lying around on a bed in the top story of a department store. It

was just me and a girl. Back halls of the mall? First met her out-
side at midnight. I can remember meeting her in the dark and
holding her while she slept (on the beach?). She knew me but it
was maybe still strange that I was acting like this. Something to
do with me singing or with an ipod? I was very self-conscious of
my pulse, my heartbeat and my breathing pattern because of how
close I was to her and I was worried that my pulse would wake
her,
Kiiiiisssing.
The both of us came to a realization. "We should get married

even though we're rather evidently incompatible." We ran
through the market (seemed to resemble what memories I have
of the Echelon mall in youth) and ran in and out of these small
shacks and tents that were pitched in random places, looking to
be ‘counseled and trained‘ for reason that we were not very com-
patible. Her on a ghostly, high transparent playground in ortho-
dox, conservative dress, reliving a scene from her pat where she
was set on riding this certain chute (that didn't actually lead to
anywhere)
I was trying to climb up/jump into the floating playground but

there was ‘basket‘ after ‘basket‘ in between and I could not reach.
All the people came climbing down after she leapt onto the
242
chute. I could hear them all trying to deter her from afar, telling
her how bad of an idea it was.
"But I always wish I would have done this and wondered what
would have happened if I did. I can no longer live without know-
ing."
Then when I realized I should be running to where she would be

landing, in the hopes that I could catch her, there was a young
man of about my same age who appeared in front of me and to
the left. I recognized immediately when I saw him from behind
that he was another who had been interested in her, he was from
this conservative group.
"It’s funny. I actually speed up instead of him slowing down."
While I was running I picked up and threw sand at him, saying

who you are.
"Well, I'll be straightforward. I'm going to outclass you because

I'm her boyfriend, so technically I have to be the first to arrive.
I can even kick a pig. Then the cars wiped out. Cartoon Net-
work. “The power is all mine."
Referring to these two miniature cars that appeared out of

nowhere, and even though we only picked them up and ran
holding them, we became them in a certain way, or were inside
of them, so this is rather confusing to explain. We were now on
some sort of astral-city freeway, and though we were technically
competing with one another, we often made amusing comments
and got along at least in some way. He said something to do
with the car when we first took them and began running. I start-
ed going on about needing new names. "We need new names.
Ones that sound like a car name but also a man's name,” and
then I paused, waiting for a response, but before he said one I

came back in saying "...like Lincoln Parker." I could hear him ask,
"What? Are you kidding me?"
“What? It could be a car or a man."
"Is that a joke?"
"What? No. I'm Lincoln Parker. It sounds like the name of a

powerful person."
(I never seemed to understand my own reference until having

woken up. It’s funny to think that it took a man my mind fabri-
cated to tell me that that was a funny choice of words.)
I took his car.
"Wait... Where is my awesome red car?... Hey, you took it from

me."
"No. This is my car."
"No, that is your car," he pointed.
"Oh, you're right. My car wasn't red."
It was rather a gold-like color with small bits of green.

“OCTAGONAL ROOM”
04/30/2013
Crawling through a hole in the wall. Opened the door to the
bathroom. There was a girl in the bathtub and it took me a while
to realize what I was looking at (the same applies to her) and
then I started apologizing, and a guy appeared behind me from
nowhere and was just staring at me. I realized I was in a dream.
Secret way through the house. Left running. Octagonal room I
wanted to keep. Bobbleheads looking at their necks, necks were
all stretched out, one of them made a melodious roaring noise,
black and white people.
245
“SELL THE HOUSE”
05/02/2013
“You’re Nathan, you were in PXP.”
"Haha, no,” he was wearing a vest.
Took my recording device and something else.
The dark-skinned girl named ‘Indranna‘ was extremely tall and

had an extremely tall boyfriend who was very smiley. That guy
picking a fight with me when I was saying goodbye to my girl-
friend:
"Do you want to die?"
Later on we apologized. He and his wife were looking at our

property to buy it potentially and I said "You know, I hope that
just a little ways into the future her and I will be in your position
where we will be looking for a place of our own similarly."
Sitting in the car? With? Acting silly at the table when it was
time to leave and I realized my voice recorder was gone. I had
been recording conversations with people for a very long time,
hoping to write them. I and the other guys in the billiard room
were playing some surf rock zombies tunes. Stick to my guiro (it
looked more like a honey dipper with a whistle). When I was
standing there and the girlfriend was going to leave, I didn’t want
to be pushy because I already said goodbye when I thought she
was leaving the other time, but then she pulled me by the hand
outside. Nathan was saying he bet I just stole these instruments
from people and I kept shouting I can prove it. He was wearing a
weird golden vest.
246
Sobbing because I didn't want to sell the house, saying "There’s

nothing that I want more than to be able to leave this place, but
to think I'll be without the option of returning is too much for
me to bear." People were already in the house. My dad had to in-
tervene with that other guy. Then we argued over how the argu-
ment started. Perhaps with me insulting her father or something.
And I said "She always acts that way.”
“I AM IN A LUCID DREAM
RIGHT NOW”
05/04/2013
"I am in a lucid dream right now. I’m with three guys and don't
even know half of their names in real life. I am sitting by the road-
way and it's shaking in a strange way. One of them has been eat-
ing an i*e cream cone for most of the time I’ve been here, despite
how long we’ve been hanging out,” and I read this to them, think-
ing it was funny, then when I continued reading, this leg and
foot came out of nowhere. Then I was chased by this ridiculous
horrible leg that came from nowhere to get me and cornered me
and then an insane pressure/sucking started happening with my
stomach, and I went "I can’t. I can't do this. I’m going to awaken."
I pried open my eyes and it was horrible. I can never get my right
eye open. It’s always my left that I rip open, feeling like stitches
and my right is stuck and I felt how my neck was stiff as can pos-
sibly be on the left side and it was very frightening because I was
not supposed to be awake. My body was still in total sleep and
I was ripping it open. I was completely paralyzed and could not
move and the weirdest part of this was remembering feeling my
mouth moving. And I realized I was saying "Anita... Anita," in the
most sheepish whisper I've ever heard, but I was not consciously
controlling myself.
Looking around for extra details and things to write about. I

went to read it to them to see what they would think. I remem-
ber looking down the roadway while writing. It was a deserted
sort of road, kind of an arid feel to it. I saw a gas station and
convenience store down in the distance along with a few oth-
248
er small shops. The first part of the dream was sitting in a room
around the television. Sleepover? I was laying on a mattress that
was raised high in the center of the room.
"I am also singing." (my own songs)
I pissed them off somehow, which is maybe why I walked off to

write to begin with. The guy looked surprised when I mentioned
his cone.
“CHEESECLOTH VORTEX”
05/04/2013
Falling down in between buildings at the park. That girl who

I was talking to at church who came over and took to me and
told me what store we would be in later. I was locked inside the
church sanctuary. Carried around in the hand of a churchman
while he sang his favorite ‘loud song’. Something very Christian,
something something "workmanship”. The girl got reprimanded
when the other guy saw her with me.
I fell through the crack in the buildings when trying to redo it.
Sitting with John and with Tyler at different times. I told Tyler
I was sitting in the car outside of his house one night when we
dropped my sister off and I was in the car because I realized I
wasn't ready to reenter the world yet, but told him I heard some-
thing funny from him when I was hiding. He looked vicious at
first when he saw me but calmed down when he heard this and
he laughed "You heard that?"
Choose who you wanted on your team. When everyone was to

redo a military reenactment. All the good teams were already
taken and every one already had guns and so I laid against a ve-
hicle with who I thought were the rejects. And they said “Man...
where's your gun?" I said "I didn’t get one... I don't need a gun. I
can do it with my hands."
Later I said "Who do you want to be paired up with?” I said some

Japanese sounding name and the lady started laughing, and I said
"You know him?" and she went "Yes,” and she and another guy
250
started calling for him, and I got really confused, because I think
the guy was supposed to be fictional. At one point I remember
going lucid and then I can recall the picture shifted a small bit,
and I went "Damnit. Every time I realize I'm in the dream the
picture starts getting lost,” and I tried to keep it focused. It was so
hard but apparently looking back on it now I kept it because this
was around the time when the guy was singing in the woods."
When we were running down these castle looking walls with his
proselytizing song playing in my ear I saw Tokyo and said "Oh...
that’s my family’s dog,” and I don't remember what I did. Maybe
kept on running. Those really weird guys at concession booths. I
was with an old weird guy. Had to take a number card. Apparent-
ly I got a cool combo even if it was low in number. I then asked
for room and board, and I handed the guy the card and he said
it costs 5, he looked over to the right where the guy I came with
was arguing with the other counter guy up on the same step as he
had. And he said "Do you know that he’s doing this?"
You had to run through a very weird building to get into this
place. There was a large room that looked like a banquet hall for
criminals. More like a parking garage, rather, and it was empty,
and on the left side there was just a table... and there might have
been a small child one of these times. The first time I was with
the old dark skinned guy he said "Okay... Now run as fast as you
possibly can... that’s the trick,” and there was a small gap through
the window and we ran out of it into the wall of the next build-
ing... It looked like a cheesecloth... or leopard print...but it was
like a vortex and we went into that place. I went through it later,
my problem was that I didn't run...
What did I do with that girl? Walking up and down stairs (they
went on for a looong time but don't think they went anywhere).
Hanging out with this guy. We were sitting at the computer

and realized that an old band mate of mine had set up some
strange webpage where he did something like selling vocal effects
(mostly pitch shifting style) and so we looked through a lot
of them and laughed and they were each listed under strange
comedic/alien names). The guy I was with got in trouble because
we weren't allowed to do something? We were forced to go to
bed?Telling some other guy that I was stuck in the sanctuary.
Then we walked to a far door when I yelled out that I needed
help. He and a few other staff were preparing for a huge church
event later in the week. On the door was written a sign saying
“You can not leave. This doorway is not to be used. There will be
a penalty.”
So I said "But I need to go!" and "I never decided to be here to

begin with.” He said I would be stupid and a criminal to do that.
Then I remembered there was another, lesser known exit in one
of the backrooms. When I finally left was when I was carried out
by that guy. Sitting in a row of chairs with other men. College
looking guys. And I kept switching with them.” If I would look
to the guy to the right of me I would vomit and if I would look
at the guy to the left of me, the muscular guy, he would cause me
weird problems?
The dream started in the sanctuary yet I was sitting in the lobby.
There was a girl who came up to the space behind the chair where
I sat and she began rifling through a large box. I made a funny
comment and we began talking. I don't remember much of this
scene but I remember we ‘hit it off ‘ well and she embraced me in
an unusual or strikingly intimate way. I asked something about
the meeting and all that she told me was that she would be in a
particular department store at 8? at night, almost hinting rather
than scheduling a date/meet. Then on the stairs in the distance
was a blondish guy who looked angry and shifty, and when I no-
ticed him I could see him whispering to someone who was ob-
scured by the doorway, and he had been looking right at the two
of us. I knew that this was not good. For some reason I could tell
that he was with superhuman abilities because he had a strange
sort of static electricity in his body and felt that he recognized
that I was with an ability similarly.
When I walked away from the girl to leave I saw that he went
to reprimand her and it did not seem like a good situation (I re-
alized that they were maybe dating, potentially against her will,
as others were afraid of him and it is possible that I was being
viewed as a potential solution to the problems he was causing
since I had special abilities or some such likewise).
“FIRST IT WAS A HORSE”
05/05/2013
Seems my mind kept changing what was being climbed into. At
the end it was potato and I was looking at something across the
Internet, assuming we shouldn’t be this consistent. The horse
and the dog in the sanctuary. It got possessed when it walked. It
was a dog, then it was a horse and then it was potatoes. There was
an old guy to my left. I was walking strangely around the sanctu-
ary. I still remember sitting down during the seminar.
They were already talking and I wanted to get inside but I only
had this idea to test, so I moved up front the very end of one pew
and stood the whole time and faced a certain way, causing me to
stand out. This was to remind myself that I was not there to stay
but just to determine something, but it's funny that I was trying
to blend in.
254
“I SUCKED PEPPERMINT”
05/05/2013
Xena Xurich: doll collection geishas. The Japanese were the only
ones who were not updated in humanity. The Native Americans
only accepted one when they reached the age of wind, which he
thought was made wind. I said "What does this sign say Russia
when this bus will only take me between two local states?”
Meeting with people in the church staff room. Flipping out at

that woman.
"You’re just too [?] for a small fucking church."
Guys and people from different towns. I was accused of doing

something. Lying? They read something about me online about
how I could be facing jail charges. How I did something, and
how I had been posting this to social media, and when I acted
dumbfounded she flipped out on me, because I said I know
nothing about it.
Guilty of bombing buildings / something devil related. I was

planning on dissociating from Patrick /starting a new band. I re-
member the elevator guy after I screamed I thought I was going
to get arrested/reprimanded, put my shoes back on and smiled
at the guy. Saying hello only to Sam even though there were five
of them present. Broke up Patrick’s other relationship.
Amazing drummer. Two other drummers that were alright but

they weren’t my style. I was playing in the mall. In the early
scenes I was with Patrick and I can remember K. And around
this time Patrick and another girl collided with surprised expres-
255
sions in a hugging position on the ground. Everyone saying how

they found love.
Megan was saying "Thiiiis guy was sucking peppermint off the
house... in his mouth he put a... wormmm,” and other weird
things, so then I started going along with it, saying "Iiiiiiiiiiiiii
put a worm in my mouth——Iiiiiiiiiii suck puppermint off of
everything.”
“I AM X”
05/06/2013
I am X. X does this. I need to go to the site —— they will tell me
if I am X. So I don't overestimate myself.
257
“CANCEROUS HOLOGRAMS”
05/06/2013
Toy store? Area outside Drowsy Poet? Mall? I knew that the
hologram people could be sometimes summoned. They were
watching even when a false head was in control. I was able to save
the world?
In bed in the morning with large dogs. Walking through the mall
when it was filled with ‘Cancer Corpses’—people with emaciat-
ed faces. I thought they would think I am one of them.
My father and my sister went on ahead through a heavy door.

The heavy door went to a strange ride attraction I started ...
the door with great difficulty when a dark skinned woman ap-
proached me, asking me if I really wanted to do that, if I was
qualified. I changed my mind, saying "Actually, I'm going to go
fetch more people. Thanks for stopping me!" And I went walk-
ing back out of this large strange room (with a pit in the middle).
I was glad at first that I got to enter this building before it was
officially opened, but that's because it was “cancer person time."
258
“ACCIDENTAL AMBULANCE”
05/07/2013
Sprinting from guy, closing car door on that guys jacket and dri-
ving off like that. I was with my father (and maybe sister?) and
I knew I wouldn't be fast enough to get away cleanly. We were
near the dollar theater area. Walking around the building check-
ing up on people, seeing how everyone was doing, helping them
with their problems. Helping a girl find her cellphone.
"Found it!" “That’s not the right one. Oh here it is.”
"Oh so by me finding the wrong one I helped you to find the real
one?
"I guess so!"
She was a young girl and she was just hanging around me in a
back room. It seemed like it was after church.
Driving near the mall with my father. We were accidentally air-

ing sirens and people were getting out of our way while we drove.
I freaked out when I found out what we were doing. Just me and
my father and I kept looking for a cd to put on but then I would
jam it in the player and it wouldn’t work or I kept forgetting to
take the previous one out.
259
“COOKING CLASS”
05/07/2013
The girl to my right... I called to her two illusions asking if she
was there. Her head appeared on the left one, but then cooking
class started up and I said "I'll tell you when this is done."
"Eww. You've gotten it on a (fissaga/vassega) cake plate.” A plate

with cake crumbs already on it? I then pulled out my end,
slapped every one of their faces nearby and dragged my nails
across cutting fast and scrape them up. This was only a couple
minutes after hitting that one guy with my greasy hands. Firm
butter. Only one pound of dough for me. Everyone else seemed
to know what they were talking about. We were in the class
watching a screen about how to cook and talking about urina-
tion.
260
“PLAYING TUBE”
05/08/2013
Helping hold that tube together for those guys in the supermar-
ket while they were wrapping this giant foam board to demon-
strate something. Some kid that reminded me of Bobby from
King of the Hill was following us around in front of the entrance.
I went walking through the supermarket in search of the girl who
just walked away and I caught up with one of my associates (I
don't think I realized I was close to him yet, in my dream) and
when I was walking I saw him off ahead pushing a shopping cart.
“Aw man, why am I even doing this for you if you're just going to
run out here on your own?" I was trying to look inconspicuous.
Listening to country music, all speaking hickish while I was sit-

ting on the floor turned sideways. They were talking about some-
thing something spending the night.
"So what age were you guys when you started making this kind
of stuff ?"
The other two guys were laying in lockers that were set on the
ground, so they were lying face up like in a coffin. I kept hearing
him say "Errr, this is not gonna work,” and then he would re-
wrap it.
"We can just look like we’re out shopping together.”
“Orrrr...”
"That girl right there. That girl is always with you." Clarified for
the girl I like.
261
"What the hell are you talking about? I don't have a girlfriend." I
was cracking up while she was speaking.
"What?!?"
She had gotten so upset at me just moments earlier and everyone

else was tense
“What about him?” said jokingly.
"What about him?”
“Yeah, what about me?”
We were all laughing by the end. She told me, “You're definitely
one of the best looking out of my male friends," and I responded
with “News to me!” or “New developments!”
I remember kissing her, and we were very close while we walked

together. The girl seemed surprised, but also glad for me that I
was able to clear it up so easily. Maybe I embraced her and lifted
her up.
“CUTTING IN THE CABIN”
05/09/2013
Girls showing up at their cabin while I was inside, filling this tall
trash bag with yarn. When the girls couldn't get inside and no-
ticed the sight of their stuff cut up on the floor (like resources
that I was using up to make something) they freaked out crying
and screaming and I stood at the window behind the curtain
pulling the door shut. It was an old storage room but notoriously
difficult to access, and I recognized that it was now a lot easier
because of how I swung over to get there from the high diving
platform.
I realized they would think I was ‘chicken’ when swimming away

while diving because I wasn't doing what I was supposed to do in
the water.
Dan? Laying on the couch, talking with him. His father came in
and started going on about something. Something happened to
his brother. His brother did something terrible.
This used to be more difficult. I remember that I was naked and

I took a dive from that very high platform and ran across to
the platform across from where I was. I was supposed to swim
around while a bunch of people were watching me (including
the girl) but I went running fastly, saying "Nooo, gotta piss any-
way,” and I broke through the door and window to do it.
263
“COLLEGE FOYER”*
05/10/2013
(INCOMPLETE/FINISH IT)
Sitting in the main entryway of a college when SN and a friend

of hers showed up.
"Tendon...?"
I waited until the second time she called me and then I turned
around and she was already standing right there. I was so sur-
prised to see her that I started losing my dream. Somehow I kept
myself asleep.
Kid who bit my hand I mocked. He looked awfully young but

was supposed to be older. Big purple bite mark "Whoa, you real-
ly put your all into it. I'm impressed."
264
“COLA”
05/11/2013
I can't remember much from this dream except that every time
I would walk by the kitchen I would look over and see a man
standing bent over with his head in the fridge saying "Niiiice
coooold cola.”
265
“COURT AND CONVICTION”
05/12/2013
My neighbors set me up and a police officer came to take me
away. First I would have a hearing, but then I would have to re-
main in prison for ten days. So while the cop and everyone stood
on my deck I ran around the house frantically looking for things
to bring. My voice recorder was full, the battery was dead and the
buttons weren’t working right. There were cables dragging from
my hand and the cop outside was getting pissed off waiting, be-
cause we had to go to a court in North Carolina and had a long
drive ahead of us.
I still remember the neighbors quizzing me on the deck. Maybe

they were accusing me of sexual harassment or something sim-
ilarly improbable. Two others stood with the cop and I on the
deck, while the woman was listing off some of the things which
she claimed I had been saying, but I was so confused as to why
everyone was standing on my porch and did not realize at first
that I was being accused of a crime. So when she said these things
I looked at the man next to her with shock, saying "What? You
said that?" because I thought that they were talking about the
other man. Certainly I wouldn’t have thought they were talking
about me, since none of it was true. Still, I never fought my con-
viction.
I remember my voice recorder had a file on it that I thought "I've

been looking for this! This is the one where I was speaking in
someone else's voice,” and I could hear myself speaking in a very
strange way to someone else about something like dragons. Un-
fortunately the card was full and I had no time to transfer the
song files.
266
“BRITPOP BAND”
05/13/2013
Running out of the hallway with people telling them "By the way,
this is a dream,” and then I laughed and I started waking up but
pulled myself back together and ran back and yelled something.
Something to do with tree tops?
I was staying over the B’s house on the couch. Then I went to
a different couch where I was earlier to watch through the tele-
vision. I had been watching the television and looking through
movie cabinets when I can recall the mom waking in the other
room and I heard her scolding the girl who invited me, and I
tried to pretend I was unaware, but I thought "Ohh! That girl is
back now. I thought she was gone or asleep,” and the mom said
something to do with "How many times are you going to incon-
venience me by having people over without telling me first?" and
the girl said, "All things considered, he needs to stay, we can't put
him back out there. Not after what happened. Not after those
years. He no longer has a home
Concert with K. We were in the front row, I was singing, filling

in for the singer of a ‘britpop‘ band. Poppop talking about an-
other guy. “That’s the funny thing. Do you know him? Well you
hear him and then you realize you can go locally to see him do-
ing smaller performances... where's this guy? He’s doing [name of
musical],”and he laughed.
"Just from that tonight you'll have a following developed."
"I really just want to have fun though."
267
I remember saying that I was embarrassed by about eleven al-

bums that I hade made and I was explaining my reasons (and I
later changed that number to thirteen, but without listing any of
the specific albums). I didn’t want to tell her that I lost my voice
during my sixtieth album. Right at the end I was thinking "I want
to go lucid with her..." and then I said "Hey, this is a..." to her but
then I thought ‘Damnit, it's happening again’ and my feed was
lost and I woke up.
I recall being laughed at by those guys when I made a really weird

noise on stage (not dissimilar to hells and hehs but it was high
pitched and weak). The audience was only a couple of back rows.
“PRIESTESSES OF SPACE &
TIME”
05/13/2013
Those two girls and I were going through the final point in space
and they were both to do some weird energy-combine where
something exploded and the galaxy was saved? It was a millenni-
al thing, being the new year.
"I've got a gift for the both of you,” and one of them held out
their arms and I said. “Don’t think that my gift is a hug.”
We weren't planning on doing this yet, though, so it must not

have been too urgent, because those two, I and someone else had
gone out walking and had to come back for something and got
trapped into the tunnel on the way back.
Bathroom at the end of the dream.
"Why is the room getting foggy? Why is everything getting all

purple and distorted?" And then the door knocks and these guys
walk in with cigarettes in their mouth, "Smokers. That's why it's
foggy. Smokers,” and we laughed.
In the hallway there was a long line to get to the bathroom that
accumulated over five minutes. “How many people are in the
bathroom at one time!?!" and I threw up my middle finger and
almost stepped on a baby (this was after I was walking away and
saw Alex coming through and I said "Noo, not you, you're not
going too." and he said "Haaa, you tried to go?" and then I shout-
ed something.
269
Isaac and I walked through that one cliff-side party area. Me fol-
lowing and having to step over some weird trashy snow area. I
was rolling snowballs in the motion down the hill to take out
the people below, because I knew that this small snowball would
grow so large by the time it got to them that it could overpow-
er them, but it was too dark that I couldn't see the effects in the
valley below. Ending up in a fortune teller/psychic looking tent
where I found this girl... It looked like a dark dressing room, and
there was something that had to do with us saying "Wow, we've
both grown up." and maybe a tattoo? This was also kind of in the
mall. I don't know who this was said to resemble from my real
life, but she did resemble Jeiezza in many ways.
Then we met with another person and went out for a ride, but
then we went for a long walk back from a ‘gas station?‘ and got
picked up by some person driving a sort of mining cart
“BACK MASSAGER”
05/14/2013
I picked up a small vibratory back massager, saying in an indig-
nant tone of voice "What? What is this? [...] This is stupid."
Standing in an abandoned video rental outlet, having written

scripts all over the wall, Daniel walked in. I said "Here, read this
over here." And as soon as he took a look he said "I don't feel like
I should be reading this. This looks very personal. Is all of this
place covered in personal information?” and I responded to say
"I'm in no position to care or to keep secrets. Read this part. You
should find it familiar and maybe hilarious."
Someone used the word ‘retromingent’ in-dream and I said to

them "I don't think you know what that means."
271
“UNCLE’S POISON”
05/15/2013
I was sitting in a church pew and my body was turned so that my
legs and feet were up on the seat and I was speaking to someone
about ‘babies and tattoos’. And then I looked to the pew in front
of me and there was someone watching and listening to us and I
commented, “Somehow you just happen to be nearby everytime
I talk about babies and tattoos."
Someone touching my feet? The people in the row behind me.

I turned around and said something because when they felt my
heel or saw my face I could tell they were hit with some horrible
force.
Very long performance. Bugs? Isaac? Me lying on the couch

watching something?
Uncle Jamie poisoned me and was being really abusive for much
of the dream. I told him I hated him. He gave me something that
would make me sick and told me it was going to get worse and I
was already having a very hard time handling it. He said it would
go away eventually but it didn't matter.
My grandmother offered me some of her cigarettes. The next

morning I was told that when I go to move to put on my clothes
that I feel especially nauseous.
Girl and I kissed. A forcefield between us? Or I thought she was

a hologram and was surprised when I felt her kiss.
272
“SIGNATURE”
05/16/2013
I was standing in a factory where I walked with my father and
eventually I came upon this young boy who bothered me. I can-
not remember what he did but I found his behavior horribly
rude and I began interrogating him with my more intense
singing voice and warble, and I can remember someone saying I
had a goat's neck. (I might have apologized to him eventually?)
One of us was going on and on about an ‘eye guy‘ and a ‘slug guy.‘
"Foods, floor and forum."
Later, as I was walking through the hallway, I passed by two dead

musicians on the ground. There was an officer working nearby
who was already suspicious of me, so I was dragging the corpses
around with me in the hopes that he wouldn’t find them and
think that I had killed them. They had long, greasy hair. When
the officer later approached me I transformed the two dead bod-
ies into a mother and a father (not my own) and we escaped out-
doors, ran to the edge of the nearby river, jumped into an over-
sized cup o' noodles and sailed off down the stream with large
smiles on our faces.
My father and I threatened that kid who was staring at his (my
father’s) credit cards after dropping them. I was interrogating the
kid in my goat voice. This is when I ran outside into public and
saw my father walking about and was shouting to him over sever-
al other people walking by (since I wanted to go out to the store),
asking if he had my cigarettes, guitar picks, cash and card, lighter.
Then I realized I had everything on me with the exception of one
of them.
273
Dark shade suck at the side of the platform. Little areas where
you fall through cracks, and even though there was likely a plat-
form somewhere below, I thought wow I would never jump
down there. And I thought "This is the world. This is what the
world will be taken over by soon."
Following Florentin around a store talking about Charizard

cards. Signing my name on that sad girl’s piece of paper. I remem-
ber she looked like she was about to cry or freak out and it may
have been my fault. But while she was sitting there and everyone
was watching (she may have been royalty) I reached out my right
index finger—one which I noticed was bruised or bloody at the
very tip.
"Look at this," or "You can have this?"
And then she said, "Dip your finger in [?] and then sign onto a
random square on this paper."
I got annoyed because everyone else wanted to/did it too. I did

not get to it first but I got the box on the top left corner, likely
the most important.
Auctions selling out on ebay. Cheap prices. Home and garden

website needed a separate account. Up in the attic in New Jersey
while two girls walked up the steps. I had gone over to their old
closet out on the ledge (even if my mom did not want me there)
and I waited to scare them.
“GET-TOGETHER”
05/17/2013
Guy sobbing when I explained to him how he was.
At Daniel's house and he had to sleep in another room to not

wake his mother. He was somewhere else for this reason. I
walked in, and I was maybe sick and so I was told I should until
the next day. Nude women. One of them was more bothered
than the others that I was there having walked in later on. I said
something and then the Asian one said "Yeah! You said what...?”
Getting arrested, the guy got arrested behind me while I walked

up the stairs and this was largely my fault because otherwise he
would have made it through the building with me. Several men
that represented different virtues or character traits.
275
“RUINED WEDDING
PHOTOGRAPH”
05/17/2013
Talking to the reporter in front of my father about how I hate
him. He ruined the original copy of my girlfriend’s photo. He
did something else reaaally evil. The reporter imitated the play-
back keyboard, asking me why I never followed through last
time. I told him "Guess I feel you're not really serious about
putting me in a book."
Girl and a bunch of others (with weird facial features) onstage

from strange angles for a marriage ceremony, looked like Calvary
Chapel. Wedding picture. Wouldn’t let anyone have this one. Af-
ter my father messed up the other photo and she wanted it re-
turned to normal. My father and I got into a huge confrontation
and he was acting quite evil. Father intruded upon my date and
when the both of us were sitting on that cliff-like place. She was
wrapped in some large fabric... balloonish? And we got stuck to-
gether?
Some woman yelled at me on the school campus. I was being

very protective of my girlfriend. Something involving the work-
room in my childhood house? I don’t remember what the
woman was angry about, but she chased me around a building
and we were trying to have each other kicked off the property
but I think she was a teacher so what she said had more weight.
I think my girlfriend was being held hostage by the college and I
broke her out
276
“CREDIT ROLL”
05/18/2013
Attending Daniel's party in my Londonberry basement. At the
end I thought I was in a DVD credit roll and tried to hit the es-
cape button or backspace button. There was music playing. The
scene depicted a couch and a small window. I stuck my head
through the window and then almost became stuck. The dog
hopped up onto the couch but it was harmless (I looked into the
details online and saw that its name was Gracie, which was the
name of a dog I used to know).
Daniel was feeling embarrassed. He was afraid that he liked my

sister. Asia showed me a post from October 2012 where she
was comparing a large dog to a Pokémon large calendar (I mean
caterpillar).
277
“CHURCH STAIRCASE”
05/19/2013
Talking to Jacob asking if he ever took long periods of time away.
Saying how I was embarrassed to be seen by people. Steep stairs
and a harness. "Whoa... I feel I need a harness to walk down these
stairs.”
Attractive guy. Loving young woman I can't remember.
278
“CONVERTIBLE”
05/20/2013
I was driving in a convertible car with my family and saw Aunt
Jean while driving down the road. She climbed from one car to
another while driving. Asia sped up and slowed down in an ef-
fort to gain her attention. I was left with no room and so I had to
get to the backseat but I was bothered to be having to stand up
while we were driving.
"Hey... what's that thing that girl got you that's hanging on your
ceiling?"
When I didn't say the answer he began playing some reaction clip
that showed the last time I said the thing.
"Broccoli (?) boobies (?).”
279
“BLOW HIS BRAINS OUT /
PREGNANCY”
05/21/2013
Several people stood huddled in a dimly lit room when the
phone rang. It may have been significant other of one of the men
in the group, and so when he answered the phone, two other
men began fighting in a pretend manner so as to create the im-
pression of danger to the woman over the phone (likely meant as
a joke or as an alibi). The two men thrashed loudly in the dark to
simulate a fight; one of them was the leader and one of them re-
sembled a punk rocker. Suddenly there appeared the long barrel
of a gun shining in the dark. The leader held it to the punk’s head
for two seconds and then pulled the trigger. Blood shot out of
the other end of this man's head and he fell to the ground. Every-
one else stood paralyzed with shock, having thought the whole
thing was just a bit of fooling around.
The man laid dead on the ground for several minutes before he
miraculously managed to stand up, dazed with a hole in his head,
and hobbled over to a sort of booth at the diner. Though he sat
silently I could hear his thoughts, broadcasted aloud from a man
standing about thirty feet away outside the building. It was a
more ‘ghostly‘ version of himself, standing in a white tank top in
the parking lot, philosophizing his involvement with these peo-
ple in his head, rationalizing his need for the brain.
"I feel like a lesbian knight.”
“You mean Elizabethan? Or maybe you don’t...”
280
I was standing in church without my shirt on. I got locked out

of all my accounts. A concert? I was one of the only ones at
the show and something was said to me when I walked into the
sanctuary, but I forget what I did. There was a curly-haired girl
here who had attended church years ago but had since grown up,
"When you found me I was just walking around...”
The leader with a gun shot the other kid in the leg when he de-
cided he was ready to leave, shooting him through the doorway.
The kid came back and thanked him saying that now he had
a reason to ‘keep struggling’ after the other guy took his pains
away.
One guy was talking about how his brain was gone. The guy
looked like Lajos kind of in the dark when the phone rang.
I felt self-conscious and knew that everyone thought strange of

me that I was missing my shirt and I was telling my dad about the
concert, whispering in the middle of service and I started walk-
ing and then I thought he might pray so I took off as fast I could
so I could make it out before they prayed (door courtesy... didn’t
want to make a loud door sound if I exited during prayer) but
did not make it and had to stop and wait by the door.
I went walking up this playground center on the roof and when

I showed up I went into SN’s house and a worker was just finish-
ing up the work on her house. When she was sitting there at the
television with one other guy and two other girls. The video on
the television was singing a song about how one of the two guys
needed to impregnate her and I took off running and went hys-
terical at a table in one of the next rooms over, convulsing and
crying and I might have smashed something on the ceiling. It was
like some brainwashing scene and they were preparing for a preg-
nancy ritual.
Talking to my ex-girlfriend. Positioning myself on girl’s legs

(talking about how anatomy needs to be for optimization). At
one point I was singing.
I was at a pool playground, showing a kid (who I hated) my fa-

vorite pool toys. It was something you climb into. I had yelled
at him just a minute earlier and he yelled back at me some rude
things. I was a new lifeguard. I wanted to be even nicer to him
because of our spat, because I disliked him. He couldn't have
been any older than ten and he enjoyed the toys. I ran around
begging for access codes from mother and sister. I tried real life
e-mail addresses. Asia's password was ‘redhair1111’.
I was so happy to see SN at first when I climbed down through

the hole in the roof. This scene happened after the account scene
There was a little lost girl with curly hair wandering around at
one point.
Asking dad in sanctuary if I might be seen in the pew/crowd

when they show the concert footage even though I was one of
only four or so people that were there when the concert hap-
pened.
“WHISTLE IN THE TOILET”
05/22/2013
The guy outside... “What...? Who else has nervous bladder prob-
lems? Don’t tell me it’s you,” and he ran to his car, pulled out
these bottles and started spraying me. We were about to get back
into the car and travel and I saw that people were separating into
two cars and I wanted to make sure I wasn't separated from the
girl I liked, but the guy said that she was going with us. The guy
looked like Lajos.
I was walking around the house with Sn? Something with her
friends? I can remember us playing around in the backseat of the
car
There was one young man among the others who vandalized my
belongings. When I went walking into the bathroom later on I
looked into the mirror and noticed that my right eye was terribly
screwed up, seeming almost like it was smeared across my face in
a bloody mess. Additionally, my hair was rather appalling and I
became very self-conscious, having not been aware that I looked
this way all along and that no one else had said anything about
it. I remember when I first looked in the mirror and couldn’t be-
lieve how ugly it looked and that they were still talking to me.
I then looked over to the toilet and saw that my lifeguard whis-
tle floated in the bowl. I knew that it was thrown in there by the
same guy who vandalized my belongings, but I had a strong feel-
ing that he did it because it was requested by another girl present
who he was looking out for. Along with the whistle, there was
something else in the bowl that had belonged to another person,
and I cannot remember what it was but I thought it resembled
a miniature pink piano. I walked out to where everyone stood
283
and called out to the aforementioned girl. When I called, saying

"Hey, I want to talk to you." The girl that I seemed to be in a rela-
tionship with also came walking toward me as if I called her but
I then made it clear that I just wanted to speak with the other
girl and so she shrunk back to where she was. I walked with this
other girl over to the hallway and I told her "Hey... I found this
whistle of mine thrown in the toilet. I know you have a problem
with it... and I am (still) going to keep it... though I wanted to
ask you, since I do not want to be insensitive... would you rather
that I not wear this around you?"
I can recall something to do with eating.
I remember my grandmother and grandfather being over one

night and I was trying to fall asleep in a place that looked noth-
ing like my home in reality, and I went out and they were there
and I said "I'm already in bed actually I'm just having problems.
Bye.” and back to the room, but then when I walked the next
room over I noticed I had not been in this room before and that
the screen door that separated it from the outdoors was so thin
and it had two locks that were not working well.
Telling Asia an anecdote about kids and how I hate her friends?
In the final scene I had crept back into the house when there
were two dogs who came for me. Rather than bark, they argued
their opinions and shouted their demands. I began to piss upon
them and when I was no longer capable I began dumping out
large vases filled with urine onto them. They came at me viciously
now that I had done this and they were prepared to attack me,
so I began negotiating and I woke up at this point, yet there was
something strange to do with my leaning on my elbows which
carried over into reality, where I woke and I was propped up on
my elbows.
“SUBWAY TRAIN VIDEO”
05/22/2013
NE asked in my response to my letter "Really? I can't picture you
resigning much to public places," and then there was a fake video-
clip...? That maybe she posted where I was sitting on a subway car
and we were all swaying and jolting back and forth because of the
bumping motion all packed close and the guy at my left who was
on the floor looked scowling at me.
There were two girls competing for my attention: a girl with

white hair and things written in her hair with the letters of
the alphabet (like alphabet refrigerator magnets?), some kind of
message was written but I never did stare long enough to discern
it. I would just just travel by foot a lot in this dream.
I was walking back from what... the shower? when I was stopped
by both girls and got stuck between the doorway with them both
trying to gain my attention. ("This color is often used in fan-
tasies. I did my research.”)
My mother used the word that is not to be spoken in my house

or in my presence; the word that exacerbates my condition. I be-
lieve I then took my bottle of red wine and broke it over her
head.
285
“BLEACHERS / EYES FALLING
APART”*
05/28/2013
"Oh my god... your eyes are falling apart!” They said when they
saw me.
Something about your wife. I expected her to say I was her father.
I was found stuck under bleachers, which was normally fine be-
cause I walked this strip several times in my dream. But this time
I drank too much red wine and got drunk and feared I would get
stuck if I tried to slide out.
The girl told me to say a word. Then I pulled back to reorientate

myself. “(?)’s a hard word, isn’t it.”
I must find the voice recorder clip of this dream since the eye
part was actually really creepy. Someone said my eyes were falling
apart. A day later, in waking reality, I experienced some signifi-
cant problems with my eyes.
286
“HELLS AND HALLWAYS
05/31/2013
There was something weird on the dresser top. I also spent a
lot of time looking in the mirror. It was a really girly dormitory.
People were too curious when I would leave the room and walk
around the hallway and I was doing hells and hehs.
287
“LINEAL OVENS”
06/04/2013
Woke up when I was talking to Asia's friends. Father and grand-
father putting themselves in the oven. I burnt my hand while
pulling my grandfather out.
288
“LOCKED SHOP”
06/04/2013
Forcing me to do a song and I didn't want to play. I remember
standing in front of people without having picked a song, and
the guy at my right was staring at me.
She ended up getting trapped in a store. Crying because she was

happy.
"At least we got my capo," then I saw it was with her, "DAMN
IT!”
I was going through the place in the wrong order. Meeting one
of the small spirits before I met the other two. One was a timid
racoon who normally looked for a member of its family (number
two). The number three was over by the wall not far from the
bottom of the staircase. He was underneath something and he
had no idea what I was talking about or who I was.
• Over-rapid technological advancement... this refrigerator is not

that bad...
[Wrong spot/try two or three weeks earlier]*
• I heard some woman speaking, saying "Like mother like son,” and
then I looked at the doorway and there was something to do with
having learned how to swallow yourself. I can't remember if it was
her in the doorway swallowing herself, or if it was me standing in
the doorway doing it and she was unnerved when I told her how.
289
“I AM NOT OF THIS WORLD”
06/08/2013
Car/Gas station/Clothes. Computer. Daniel. Le(a)ven. Berry.
Waking up. Pissing.
After having tried my damned-most to store and retain a lot of

these paragraphs and bullet lists by means of a mnemonic de-
vice, I ran into the central room where everyone was staying. I
called out, out of breath, "Okay, everyone... I know that some of
you are more experienced than I myself at computer tech, and
if there is any way that you can network the computer in that
room with my real life computer I will do anything." They were
annoyed at my hyperactivity, thinking I had been going on and
on. They had been somewhat flustered with me throughout this
whole dream for the reason that I had been so excited after hav-
ing recognized what was going on. I asked my question a second
time and Daniel only said, "I have no idea what you are talking
about."
I said, "Okay, I have something I need to tell you all..." and I sat
myself down on the couch across from them. They were all star-
ing at me with a slight indignation, when then I turned to say,
breathlessly, "Okay... I just thought you should know... I am not
from around here." Their eyes rolled...
I continued, "I am not from this world." One began to open their
mouth as if to scoff, and I interrupted, saying "No, I'm not claim-
ing to be an alien or an angel. This is a dream and I am from an-
other world because this is, after all, my dream." They all stood up
and began migrating to the other room, clearly thinking me psy-
chotic. I persisted, saying "I can prove it. I will take requests. I can
290
prove it in any way you would like. It does not matter whether
it adheres to scientific or physical law. I can do anything." And
they continued to the doorway when I stopped them, saying "Do
you know what the weirdest part about all of this is?" to which
they turned around and asked, "No, what is it?" and I pointed to
Daniel saying "I haven't seen you in five years." I pointed to the
one in the middle, saying "I haven't seen you in four years." And
then I pointed to the last saying "I haven't seen you in about five
and a half or six years, but what's really weird is that I only met
you once ever."
A small, dark-skinned child approached me from behind while

I fiddled around with something on the floor of this large play-
building. He was probably no more than eleven or twelve and
was trying to show off, trying to compete with me. He said "I
could do that better." I turned around and said "Yeah?" and then
he said "Do you know what I am? Do you know what my job is?"
(referring to his profession apparently). "What is it?" I can't re-
member exactly what he said, but I am led to believe it was not
dissimilar to ‘pilot‘ so I will use that as an example. He said, "I'm
a pilot” and smiled, asking "What about you?" I smiled, saying
"I'm a singer." He became loud, saying "BAAAAAAA, EVERY-
ONE knows how to sing. Everyone thinks they're a singer." And
I responded, "But I didn't tell you... I am actually a singer AND a
pilot, a singing pilot,” and he became loud again, "NO YOU'RE
NOT!" and I said "Yes I am. Do you know why that is? This is
my dream and I am exactly that if I decide to be."
Unlike the others before him, it didn't take him long to believe
me, maybe because he was a child. He warmed up to me, sharing
little energetic anecdotes and asking me, "So... if this is like this...
then what about that?" different things to do with reality. I re-
member when he led me through a hole in the wall, while saying
"Say... if you're a singer and you make music, can you mention me
on your record?" "Sure, what is your name?" he responded with
a smile, saying "Leven!" and I burst out, saying "WHAT? Are
you kidding me?" And I was cracking up with laughter. His smile
dropped and he said "What's so funny about that?" and I said
"My first name is Tendon and my surname is Levey, so your name
is essentially like both of my names together." and he laughed.
Eventually it was said that it was time for my party to leave but
I did not want to leave yet since I recognized that this place was
more interesting than the one I would be going back to (clearly,
I totally forgot about Anita, unfortunately). I met up with this
one girl and we ran off trying to hide from having to leave.
We were sitting on the edge of a bed in a far off room.
"Your dad resembles this musician I just listened to for the first
time this week. I want to ask him if he's related."
Face in the window.
"Hey. What's your surname?"
He smiled, saying "Berry!"
I looked down at my apparel and thought "What am I wearing!?"

and I managed to change into the same clothes I wear every day
in waking reality.
I didn’t want to do anything extravagant or extraordinary in the

fear that I would wake up like always when I develop control in a
lucid dream. I decided not to change anything but to go through
the dream just enjoying what was already going on naturally. I
asked, "Will you drive me to see Anita? Otherwise there are oth-
er places I would rather be." They said "Yeah, we'll make sure you
get there eventually." "Do you promise?" "Yeah, in a little while."

I looked at a map and noticed that on the top of the map there
was a small protuberance that seemed an obvious place for her to
be, in this geographic protuberance at the far edge of the region.
Avoided intimate relationships with the others who were attract-

ed to me because I remembered Anita. I was making compar-
isons throughout the entire dream to the content of this world
with content of my own.
“SHOWROOM / ANITA IN
KITCHEN”
06/09/2013
I was lucid and decided that I wanted to see Anita, although I

knew by now that I ran a serious risk of becoming over excited
and waking myself up if I didn’t approach the situation just right.
So I was sitting in some sort of hotel lobby and attempted to

craft a less stressful scenario. A woman kept walking in and out of
the kitchen, the door to which was across the room from where I
sat. Once I called her over and requested that she tell Anita, who
was working in the kitchen, that I was here. She went back into
the kitchen and returned after a minute or two, and I sat wait-
ing to hear what she would have to say, expecting her to return
with a message for me, but then I noticed that Anita was actual-
ly walking behind her, walking toward me where I sat. She came
and sat down next to me on the couch. I was so elated to see her;
however, as we spoke, her face began morphing into other faces.
I felt like her words and appearance were ingenuine, conforming
again and again to my expectations.
I don't recall much about our conversation since I was so dis-

tracted by her appearance, and it didn’t last all that long. I was
rather upset at how this happened.
294
“53XU4L”*
06/10/2013
• Father saying things about not all flowers that are planted
should/will grow.
295
“GAS STATION AND STORM”*
06/11/2013
I remember a dog. A little boy.
296
“MONSTERS OF CANCER”
06/12/2013
All those monsters walking in that one path.
I asked her to fight me again before the dream was up. I remem-
ber thinking after seeing that the inside of her mouth was brown
that it should have been blue. She wouldn't close it. I asked her
to explain what was wrong since I thought we were just playing
around. I saw a scene with a basketball hoop and when the bas-
ketball went through the hoop and hit the floor I began kick-
ing her and smacking her around and she was just taking it. Af-
ter that I heard a man's voice speaking in the air, saying "Delu-
sion, Mr. Levey, Delusion." And it didn’t make sense because it
was not how it happened, we were not being so serious... She was
carrying on and freaking out about how it scarred her.
The two of us sitting poolside, she stood up and began walking

away, saying. I asked her in earnest that she explain her anxiety,
having thought that our fight was with less seriousness than she
was attributing to it. Just then there was a scene that played out.
The both of us stood before a basketball hoop, and when the bas-
ketball went through the hoop and hit the floor I began to kick
her and smack her around and she was just taking it.
Creepy room with monsters. There was this guy who I was think-
ing "You're my best friend." He was some guy who visited New
Jersey sometimes but lives in New York. He freaked out, really
unsettled, upset about something between me and the girl I was
with and him, and he seemed very self-conscious and there was
nothing I could do about it, then the girl went down the hallway.
297
“I gotta do something real quick.” I took off after her, my head

was right behind her
The scene in the beginning. I was in the attic. We were beating

eachother up. Not in bloody ways but taking out frustration. It
was gentle but... not. We were ripping each other’s clothes and
cracking against walls. She exaggerated at the end, not as bad
as she thought it was. Traveling loudspeaker behind the door
"Freaked my fucking lid.”
There was that computer techie guy, who traveled through the tv.
That guy was so tall and he came to my house, nothing like any
house I ever lived in. Something to do with music. He was talk-
ing to my family. Strange. Just showed up one night, knocking at
the door. Something weird I don’t remember.
Step on the side with cancer patients. I remember looking and

saying something was really insensitive. We were planning on
riding this strip.
"Hey look at all those people.”
Lady sitting on her knees "Yeah , they all died of cancer."
All looked rotten. Desert cave. Weird poses. Someone said some-
thing like "Ahhhh, COOL!'' insensitive? I felt strange. Then we
went walking into the actual small cave room. A huge step/
gorge. People were climbing up the step. I knew it wasn't smart.
Skinny, bloody humanoid monsters in the distance. I took off
running because they were making very strange disturbing nois-
es. It was walking fastly toward everyone. If I began running now
I could get back and in the worst case scenario it would get to
them. My peers continued anyway. Something about driving? I
don't know if it was me driving or not. I kept trying to get the girl
to come back with me. Sitting by the pool relaxation area and I
was really content with her. We fell for each other after the vio-
lent fight. I came up and talked to her afterwards and there were
all these things about closets and jackets? Then we were sitting
by the poolside... hot spring. Everyone said "Let’s go down here.”
They wanted to find something of specific value. It wasn't a nice
place but had nice areas/attributes, but overall very demonic in-
fluence. People were getting mad at me, saying I had something
to do with the demons. Patrick was there but went into the cave
with the others? Most of the people from the cave ended up re-
turning
My best friend, he was cool, but he was very upset toward the
end ‘cause he liked the same girl and she told him she couldn’t
be with him because of me. So it put a weird strain... especially
since he liked her for so long and they had known each other
for years but I only just met her. Something that had to do
with bugs. Something to do with dogs... and something climbing
walls. Wearing swimming trunks the whole time and two pairs
of underwear on top of each other. I think there was a little dog
that ripped a piece off of me or I might have ripped the dog. I
think it was Suzie (my neighbor's obnoxious little dog).
All these security cameras in the room and me and my girl were
climbing up high trying to get to them. I thought she was my sis-
ter at first but clearly she wasn't. I don’t even remember how it
stopped because I think someone knocked on the door. Maybe
showing off the house? And then we were hiding in the closet by
a record collection. I remember I kept getting changed and felt
weird about it. Nervous that someone would walk by while I was
changing by the pool area. I was talking about dreams at the end
of it, trying to convince her that it was a dream and that's why
she should just follow me. “This has gone on for such a long time
at this point that there is no way there’s much left.” (first and on-
ly lucid reference in this dream).
Tactless guys in our room. Think one kept trying to fight me.
Howling weird voices of monster. Having a calm talk with my
best friend after the girl walked away. I remember telling him he's
my best friend. We got in a dispute... but no yelling (I didn't trust
she would be back before my dream ended).
Me and my family are entertaining that guy. Maybe playing a

game. I acted stupidly. He was maybe a spy and was from a differ-
ent place than we thought he was. I was the only one who knew
it. He stayed till really, really late.
(The delusion part was speaking to the girl but he was saying my
name?)
“COMPUTER ISSUES”
06/13/2013
Disturbed by the missing files, but then figured that it might just
be a flaw with the dream and not necessarily the case with reali-
ty. Woke up within the dream and happened again. Woke up in
reality and the files were fine.
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“RECIPE EXCHANGE”
06/15/2013
Dream last night, standing in a sort of pizza venue/video arcade
with family.
Went to the bathroom by myself but was timid. Walked in and

was glad that I was alone. But a man walked in right behind me.
He began going on and on about his great dinner. I only remem-
ber him describing the vegetables, and he said "And all the veg-
etables were cut into sticks and strips,” and I laughed saying "I
knew you were going to say that!"
And then I started sharing with him the recipe for asparagus and
peas, and I kept saying, "Penne pasta? Do you know penne pas-
ta?`` After this a third man walked in while we were still talking
and he looked at us suspiciously and walked into the stall. Then
I was reminded how badly I needed to urinate and went walk-
ing into a stall (something about it looking like a control booth)
and right when I went walking in the guy started following me
in an intimidating, offensive fashion, suddenly seeming more ag-
gressive. I tried not to let on about my awareness of what he was
doing, saying something like "Hey, I'm going to go ask my family
real quick about this other recipe, it was great and I cannot re-
member it but I think you would like it" but he did not give in to
my clear excuses.
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“HAUNTED STORE”
06/16/2013
Recounting at the end again.
Board Games. I remember walking by the dining room. Plate

with leftovers and I was staring at the plate for a while and there
was a pile of board games and my dad came by and picked up
the third one from the top. I thought "I remembered that. You
haven't played it in a while." It had a bell and it was a trivia game.
They all were saying "I forgot all about that one.” “Learn about
the people you are with.” They asked me if I wanted to play but
I don't remember what happened.I thought I was picking up
something else like food, but picked up a game by mistake and
walked away. “Thought you weren't playing.” “I'm not." "Then
why do you have it in your hand?"
Dubbing Song and Dispute between rockers. Standing in the

dome rewinding a video and audio recording. They had done my
part without me, so I was trying to dub my part without detract-
ing from what they did (it was a solo but not as good as my own)
and with my own part still standing out. I tried plucking but it
didn't work right. I tried a lower octave but it didn't work right,so
I had to play something completely different.
Guy was upset when he saw me. He tripped me and we had a

falling out. “Is that why you didn't play the show with us?" That
sounds like a good reason for why I wouldn't, but that's not why
I did it this time
Attractive Girl. Walking outside in the evening after endangered

animals and before the concert part. Walked by a small trailer
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where the girl was sitting. I talked to her for a little while. I think
she tried to get together with me, but I turned her down because
I had stuff to do. I described her as someone who will always
get what she wants just because she was objectively attractive.
Something very complimentary but negative at the same time.
Thought it was weird.
Hill and Endangered Animals. Laying on a small island with en-

dangered animal(s)
Would it be okay if I ditched the name of our group?
(Gravedancers)
Sam and I are sitting on a hill in front of a forest. There were tons
of other people, large gathering, festival-like. Everyone was talk-
ing. I don’t remember what the theme was.I want to say it was an
island where the animal(s) were. Even though you didn't have to
swim across water to access it. It was separated by a barrier. And
I managed to get over where they were. They were endangered
or something very rare. And there was maybe one other person,
some sort of ologist, someone who studied these things.I think I
maybe fell asleep among the animals
Grocery Store. Every creepy thing in movies. Moans, screams,

bleeding boxes, shaking shelves, breaking. “Everything you don't
want to see happening in a supermarket.” Wasn't phased much.
We walked around through the aisles. Forgot my specific pur-
pose and got hung up on one of the displays
A scientist in a laboratory coat? I don’t know what he had to do

with me. I started searching for different chemicals for different
reactions and combinations?
Swallowing, eating in my dream. I was thinking "Do not think of

the anatomy of swallowing.” There's got to be all of these mech-
anisms to swallow and I started thinking about it. “But on the
outside all there is to be seen is skin. Can't I just accept that?" It
wasn't a terrible scene that I got hung up on. I moved on without
it causing any problems. I was up in an attic looking area nearby
where I had dubbed the songs, and walked up the stairs.
Another dinner? But less formal. Some small personal celebra-

tion. Video Rental Store? Reprimanded by woman, maybe with-
in the store, not sure. Some lady yelled at me in a public place,
possibly because I was running.
• Mother and Asia sitting on the couch quizzing me hangman.
It’s an animal.
• S _ O R _ (N) S
"Oh that's a good one."
Then I guessed ‘N’
Then they said "Awww... it’s over."
And Asia said "Not necessarily."

“RETURN TO THE JOB”
06/17/2013
I was with Rod and working in his kitchen with his dishwasher.
Rubbing my face in the parking lot "What's that noise? What's
that strange noise?" It was a swishing noise. It's the faucet/hose
behind him/washing car. Thing that was moving around inside
my face. Slipped.
"What? Is that Suzie?" (in vehicle)
Lady. One of two, she started imitating me, then I started imi-
tating her, then he interrupted me and I slipped. I wasn't saying
anything.
"So is working the same as it's ever been? Has anything changed?"
"No nothings changed at all.”
"That's weird... because I’m just in a different world than I used

to be,” and through the window I saw a guy working in the yard
that I thought I recognized as being from 6 years earlier. Talking
about a message he got last time I was working.
"When you left last time... did you leave because you had a prob-
lem with me or with work?"
"No, none of that... I enjoyed it until the end."
"I remember the answering machine message you had. It must

have been a dream. In the answering machine you even men-
tioned something being a dream.”
"That's good to know."
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“Really it was just the fact that I was an eighteen year old guy, fi-
nally allowed to do what I wanted, allowed to stay up as late as
I wanted with my parents giving me restrictions, not restricting
where I went. And I just wanted to take advantage of that and
not have to worry about further rules and restrictions.”
Asia showed up to the house with two of her friends. Saw them
through the curtain then I stood in the center of the living room
and she came walking in past me without saying anything and I
saw Tony standing in the door, and I was scowling menacingly at
him, vicious pose and I thought he look awfully short, small and
not intimidating and I thought about killing him.
"You are an idiot, a betrayer."
She says "I’m a human being."
"I hate to think that there can be such a human who says one
thing and does another."
My parents were on the couch not saying anything because they

understood. She was just coming in quick to get something be-
fore leaving back to their house. It was an emotional scene. “Why
would you bring them to this house?” While I was yelling I went
blind, couldn’t see at all and knew I was blind. And I started
screaming "I've gone blind!" but I continued to yell at her and
worked it into my point.
Looking into the mirror in what was maybe Rod's basement. My

face seemed really deformed. Little bunches and pockets and a
bulge coming out of the area of my face. I was touching it and it
was pushing it around, around my nose, eyes and cheeks pushed
hard and it got to my forehead. At one point it got stuck in my
gums, up in my cheek and I pushed it into my gums, and it start-
ed to break through and I squeezed it into my mouth. It was
disgusting and hurt like fucking hell. I spit and this teal-colored
acid came shooting out and I was spitting in this bowl on the
floor and it was sizzling and every time I looked in the mirror I
would have more and more under my skin. Eventually, the last
time I looked half of my face looked deflated and there was tons
of this stuff on the right side. The right side is where it all was.
Standing at the dishwasher, working. Looking around at his

tools. Cutting in a little bit with the paintbrush. Comparison be-
tween Rod and Lajos, because though it looked like Rod and had
his mannerisms and humor, the things he said were like Lajos
and I didn’t work with Rod when I was 18. The time corresponds
to Lajos perfectly. I was sharing anecdotes from my life while I
was working on the dishwasher and cutting in.
Standing in the parking lot. A lot of people standing around like

a performance.
"Yeah, I remember my mom telling me that you left an answering

machine message, but...”
He said something about God and I didn’t interject. He was

thinking it was a scripture or parable that applied to me and ap-
parently thought that I was on the same standing with religion
as once before.
Watching sad videos which featured some opera singer.

“VAMPIRE AND THREE MEN”
06/18/2013
Short blonde guy sitting at a table with me in a cafeteria. Dis-
cussing shapes of these people (strange shapes). They’re not in-
tended to not gain our empathy, sympathy, affection, admira-
tion, but are fully evil and this is evident by the shape of their
face, and purely stupid. Talking about different containers?
A vampire in the alley. Saw a girl walking down a street with a

bridge above. Sunset. I heard a man yelling from the alley and
then a small girl left the alley, came out fine and they both walked
around.
Me and small guy sitting in cafeteria. He was almost puppet like,

marionette unusual. He sits across the very small round table
from me eating a pizza. Some weird guy approaches, a little guy
like him, and goes up to my little guy with a pizza slice likewise
and starts pushing it into and against my guy's cheek, all over his
face. Then from behind me there are other guys. One that was
just a kid but I could tell it was a man in a kids shape and then
a not-too old strange guy. He starts plucking on the hairs of my
sideburns. Just staring like he's in middle of thought process. I
try to start establishing a psychical rapport with the small pup-
pet man that I was with, because we were clearly in a bad situ-
ation,but it wasn't working. There was a forcefield going on. He
starts gripping my neck with his hands. Not all the way around,
just the back, and I spoke up, saying "You don't need to resort
to that. If you have a question for me I’ll answer it. I'll answer
any questions.” ( a bit nonchalantly). And he goes "Annythhii-
ing.” Then he starts hooking something up with his hands to my
temples and it really did not feel good. I was thinking it was com-
309
parable to a lie detector but was never sure. It had a strange semi-
solid gummy consistency, resiny.
“ORZA”
06/19/2013
I saw several pictures depicting the same two guys, but one of
them clearly had a double and the double was pretending that it
was not the other guy.
Opted not to shout about how I was playing with my man-

nequin once I recognized how it might be perceived.
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“TWENTY-TWO AND TWO
MONTHS”
06/20/2013
SL and my body double
It was Fathers Day. She had just gotten back and said "My best
college clothes now smell like my father..." and she said "So, how's
your other self doing?"
"You mean my real body?"
"Yeah, whatever, I guess. Your fifteen-year-old self.”
"Fifteen? I’m twenty-two.”
"What?"
“I'm twenty-two and a half. Oh no, maybe twenty-two and two

months.”
"How did that happen?"
"It’s been a long time.”
I remember walking through her room very slowly and I saw her
dog. I expected she would come to the other end of the house.
She was preparing her food. She had a large dog sitting there. It
was acting like it was going to bark at me but it didn't. There was
that song that was always playing over the radio that I was goof-
ing around to. I don't know what it was. Then there was some
part where I was sitting with my parents. I just had sleep paral-
ysis. I don’t think I was supposed to wake up yet. I made a mis-
take I think.There was this other girl staying in the house. I forget
312
what she was doing. I remember hanging out in this one room
dancing. There was this garagelike place and outside there was
this place where I was looking at insects or something. I thought
I was catching some very strange insect-like things.
I remember talking to some old guy for counsel? I was sitting

in this room by myself, doing something in someone’s bedroom.
Think there was a girl in there too, not sure. Remember sleeping
over some place and being in someone's bed.
At the end ‘SL‘ was getting groceries out of her car and didn't
really want me to stay because it was strange and then I ran off
"Fine,” but then returned. She was like "Oh well!"
I was watching music videos in a patio area, noticing how strange

they were, but this whole time I was like astral projecting or
something. I think I did something weird like went inside of
the tv,the other girl that lived that was hanging around with was
like a cop or something. At least that's what I thought. I do re-
member looking at muscular anatomies in my dream, like charts
on the computer. I basically just went around everywhere like a
ghost. I was walking around the house after I realized this was
not my body any more and I just started singing, very softly. I
just remember sitting around for a while, hanging around on the
patio. I remember appearing in someone's bedroom, rummaging
through their boxes. I feel like someone gave me something, say-
ing “Oh you keep that.”
Sitting in the backroom of this building. There were a couple of

girls. They were talking to me and one of them was definitely the
girl I liked.
“PROPHET SONG”
06/20/2013
Me and other people. I didn't feel too included even though I
was there. I felt like a camera lens. I remember one girl quit say-
ing "I can't do this anymore.” I was upset about something about
it. Then there was a guy walking around in a priest outfit. Kept
having to explain he's not a priest, and everyone was just sitting
around on these couches and counters in the dark, like a small
cafe, just talking strangely. This woman leaned over and said I
need to say sorry to her again. I sighed and walked out and down
the long bright hallway. I knew what to do though. I had appar-
ently insulted an item that was important to her. I had to apolo-
gize if she had something of an item that had saved her or made
her feel safe and good. She was able to convert it into something
else and it was helping her and I think I laughed at it, or maybe I
didn't do anything. All I know is I had to come make her another
one. Whatever I made her was very strange in its form. All stuck
together. The woman came later and there was a plate with it and
it was really appalling. Like a giant wire with these pods stuck to
it. The girl was up in the bunk bed when I went to her hospital
room, near the ceiling. I popped my head up and she was telling
me she hated me, and I forget what happened between her and
me. She was a younger girl, like a teenager. I remember walking
down these halls.
Some guy showed up in a car and asked "Why aren’t we getting

out?" The other car next to him had a heart in a cooler. It seemed
shady. We had to pretend we didn't have it or didn't know it was
in there. The scene that I was watching was not the dream that
I was in. I made it somewhere and was actually awake but was
314
forcing myself in the dream by closing my eyes. I remember sit-

ting outside the shop late at night, sitting on the sidewalk.
My dad and I were singing the bridge to “Prophet Song” by

Queen at one point while standing in one of the hospital rooms.
It was one of the funniest things to ever occur in my dreams. We
were doing the echoes in real time, and I swear it was perfect.
Going to an underground passageway where I think I raced

ahead of everyone else. Remember racing through the hospital
hallway, everyone else was following behind. Went to the corner.
Speaking to this old guy in this shack. It was like a patient's room.
We were all living in this hospital, dressed in strange different
ways. We were just hanging out in the cafeteria or waiting room
all the time (taking over the town?) Every time someone died in
the hospital we felt we had the right to take all their stuff. Moral
issues?
I went into a room in the basement that was a warp or some-

thing. It took me to another place entirely. No idea where it took
me, but when I returned everyone was staring dumbfoundedly
while I crawled through the wall
Camels? Watching camels?
I recall fighting with a girl in the hallway and yelling “Fucking

leave me alone!” Then her mom heard her. Her mom tried to
give something to the girl. She was mad at something that I did.
The girl wouldn’t eat her food because she was upset with me. So
the mother brought me the girl’s food and told me to bring it to
her instead and to apologize. The both of us were fine in the end
though.
Memory of someone laughing at me because I was in this giant

blow-up suit. I think it was an anecdote of something I did, but
we were visualizing it. There was something at the end to do

with that girl (while with the bottle), she wanted me to go to
the other girl to accept the other girl, so she wouldn't accept me
when I came to her, ‘cause she knew the other girl liked me, but I
thought that I still liked her, so it was kind of pointless, and that
was annoying.
I think I remember burning or wounding myself, possibly my

foot. I think this was toward the end with the car scene. This was
the weirdest scene of all. There were two alternative scenes, and
I was giving the wrong scene on purpose, and trying to travel be-
tween two scenes having to do with a car, like this is what hap-
pened in this timeline, but in this one I'm sitting next to a car
and I'm afraid to get out or can’t get out ‘cause the guy to left of
me has a heart in a cooler, and we were all just waiting to go in-
side. I'm pretty sure there was something to do with some strange
insect. There were a bunch of bees. We were all on a picnic out-
side, me and all these people, and then suddenly... I don't think
I was partaking in the picnic, in a grassy meadow, and I heard
them screaming and I look up and I just see a cloud of bees and
I ran through it all hyper, but then one got on my forehead and
stung my forehead in the center and I thought ‘Oh... ow.’ and he
asked "Did it actually sting you?" (my dad) and I said "Yeah...
that's strange,” and there was a little bead of blood in the center
of my forehead about an inch below my hairline
I think there was also something involving my fingernails. I was

attempting to pick something up but my fingernails kept going
through it.
“HARMONY”
06/21/2013
Poor recall. Lajos, Florentin and myself walking through the
woods. Later on someone said something about me and Lajos,
and I said "More of a harmony than...”
Looking to buy backpacks.
317
“HAND-HOLDING”
06/22/2013
Me and a girl running through the mall, holding hands in vivid

detail. Her name was Arey. Arey and one other person when I
was walking down the sidewalk. “I want to go to this store. A
place that sells electronics." There was one place we always visit-
ed, me and family were driving, me and dad went. There were a
bunch of people standing out in front of it. There was apparent-
ly ‘an actor‘ there. I remember we drove by and he was trying to
be the major. He slipped a little yellow slip through the window
while we were still driving. It landed on my knee, but then my
sister took it. After that we went on(home?) We were staring at
the ceiling while lying down. Arey pulling me around through all
these stores. At the beginning requested different places but she
said No. There were some attractive girls that passed by but I was
just like "Huh." and didn't care. I remember while I ran, my sleeve
was pulled up so I couldn’t actually see my hand, at first she was
just pulling me by the hand and I thought about it a lot while we
ran and then I grabbed her hand differently lacing my fingers:
Right at the very end I got paralyzed.lying in my bed at the end

of dream, weird bed like none I’ve had.my left and right arms I
was moving them in a certain way where I remember thinking in
my dream that in real life my arms were having something to do
with some girl like if I moved my arms in a certain way that they
were either being. Like they were either being controlled or mas-
saged by a young woman.I remember while I moved them just
a little bit they both fell asleep in very very awkward positions.
318
They both went paralyzed while I was still asleep and I couldn’t
move them at all.
"It was terrible."
Then when I woke up authentically I had a difficult time getting

out of sleep paralysis because of my posturing.Me and that
woman definitely got in a fight at one point in the public. I want-
ed to go places she didn’t want to go. Walked into the store and
asked "Is there a mall?"
"I don’t know." All stores were connected
I can’t recall the beginning. I was just traveling in the car with my
family.
There was a yellow cloth or handkerchief over both of our hands

so we couldn't see them touching, though they clearly were and
she just dragged me from store to store. Clutch her hand tighter.
Show I was more willing now than before. There was some little
gift shop behind the area where the mayor put the flier on my
knee. I was in there for a while. I remember watching something
out the window.
Me thinking at the time in the dream "How strange is it that

the mall has become such a common symbolic setting for my
dreams!"
“THE WHITE SWAN”
06/23/2013
I recall watching something out the window.
"Hey, remember last time?" Request to bring it a sword and they

would show me a video. Woke up after that. Got stuck in the
door accidentally. Lost and it was pitch black.
I just got out of the factory where there were those two kind guys
who helped me escape. Parking problems. They had put me and
my mother and whoever in a commercial for parking in a cer-
tain place in the daytime hours and there was no problem. I was
told to go to this property that’s high fucking security and so I
wandered in and out through these ceilings and factory aisles.
Very creepy. I was pushing around all these little forklifts just so I
could get through. Finally passing by some guys in forklifts. Saw
one who was reasonably young and said "Excuse me."
He said "Ooooh boy." At first because he knew it was a problem

that I had wandered in here.
"What is it...?"
I said “Hey, we had a charge made for the parking," and he said
"Everyone did today."
"That doesn't seem fair. How much is it going to cost?"
He answered "$81.57" and I said "That’s awful." "Everyone got

charged that."
"That's terrible. There should be another way.”
320
And he said "Maybe I can refute that or something,” kindly.
There was a dark skinned guy too and I remember wondering if I

could find them online. My family is clearly not rich and so I was
thinking to say "This will definitely cut into my wine money," but
kept my mouth shut because I really wanted the charge dropped.
"Yeah well we'll try to do that for you."
That’s all there really was. He wasn't flipping out like some of
the other foremen would be. Dark guy said he would show me
out. He raised a big folding iron door and I went outside and it
was pitch black. I remembered the location slightly from the day
time but could no longer tell where I was or where I was going
and wandered around in unrelenting darkness. There were red
and blue hues in some places. Wandered through several park-
ings lots.
There was that girl in the bathroom who was strange and foreign.
Neighbor guy came over and started insulting me so I insulted
him back and my dad had to talk with him.We ate dinner at his
house (a girl was there too). I talked to her on some occasions.
She would make really funny jokes but was really hard to un-
derstand. She said something strange over the table that I can-
not remember, kind of like "I did this, then I did this, and then I
COULDN'T BELIEVE IT THAT THIS HAPPENS."
I don't even know. She was laughing about something stupid she
did and it was strange. Got lost in the guys house, realized I was
dreaming and started getting off.
Guys sneaking around outside the factory. There was the roof.
Different scanners that came down every once a while. Two
goofy cars patrolling acting erratically, hitting things and knock-
ing them down. They were not on a predesignated path but
could spot you very easily because their lights were shining all
over the place, so it was really hard to sneak around. It was right
up against this large shore area. I forget what the purpose of
the car thing was. I was following Asia around, up and down
the stairs. She was moving things up and down the stairs and I
kept getting in her way and following her or doing something
weird. I remember thinking in my dream "Is this actually me be-
ing asleep or are my eyes just closed?" several times and I asked
someone else this question saying "What is this? This doesn't feel
so deep.” They were weirded out but clearly I was asleep. I went
into the neighbors bathroom and closed myself in and was look-
ing around for hairspray. I took off for a while. Then the guy that
owned the place was kind of nice, kind of not, kind of strange.
He was the guy in the fight earlier because I said something to
him, but after my dad apologized I think I had my voice recorder
in my pocket just in case he said something incriminating. But
we went out and went over to his house for the night. In the
bathroom I called my mom, needing to ask her a question. At
one point we turned on the TV and saw a commercial about all
these cars (not in the bathroom scene).
"That's weird advertising."
"How can it tell you how much you should hate it and how much
you should want it at the very same time?"
Very strange. Then it showed a parking lot, like a factory, but the
premise was that our car was also being used as an example in this
commercial.
"What!? Our car is not even here anymore?"
I checked outside and it was gone, having been towed away like
the commercial said. The guy offered to give me a ride, but I said
“No thanks, I'm alright.” Then I went on a long journey, walking

through all of these wooded areas where I got a swan and a gi-
ant lake and really weird things going on that I do not remember
outright. Very strange, fairy-tale-like happenings. Then I stum-
bled upon the factory path. I didn’t know it was as forbidden/
dangerous as it was. I remember sneaking around with that guy.
Trying to get me to sneak with him. There was a lower level be-
neath us, and a police was down there and he kept falling flat on
the ground so the patrol wouldn't see him up on the upper level
when he drove by and I remember thinking "Oh, I could RUN
that low to that ground without having to drop every time, I can
keep running and flatten myself."
While my mother and I were speaking in the bathroom, the for-

eign girl just walks in and sits on the toilet and begins to undress
and I started saying "What the hell is going on?" to my mother
and she said "Oh, they just seem to not think that there's a prob-
lem with that." I said "Oookay,” and I walked out of the bath-
room fastly. There was more with the foreign girl that I cannot
remember: I tried to find her later on to ask her something at the
end of the dream but I never found my way back, obviously.
At dinner I recall being handed a drink that had 'frozen water'

(the word we can't say) in my cup, and I thought "Oh my god,”
and I felt it in my mouth and was trying my damnedest not to
freak out since I was trying to be friendly and composed. But lat-
er on I remember when I was walking to the bathroom, I went to
take a cup with me from the table because I had a special kind of
tea.
“DOG WOMAN”
06/24/2013
When the guy was making me leave, he said to me: “What would
you say if I didn't allow you to return?" and “Ever since you
showed up there has been nothing but strange happenings.”
"I would be really upset, because this is like a family.” Then I

asked, “Do you know what's going on right now?"
“What?"
“Do you know that I am projecting myself by means of a dream?"
“Yes I do.”
"Though I will seem to you like a handsome, energetic man who

is in his early twenties, the reality of the situation is that on the
other side of all of this, I am an old man who is dying. I am alone.
I am suffering... drooling on myself. I don't want to make it seem
like I am unproductive... [work habits]. Some people would say I
have better work habits than most."
He was emotional. At the end I was looking at toy shelves.
"This really goes to show that you were raising your kids at the
same time I myself was raised... I had or knew of a lot of these
same toys. You think I look like I could be your son but the truth
is that I am an old man."
And it finally seemed she would give in, but the door was
knocked loudly by my mother yelling "You need to come back to
the dinner party. Everyone is wondering where you are." (Where
family, extended family and neighbors were all seated) and I re-
324
fused, saying I did not want to be a part of this event. And she
said "Is Asia in there?" suspiciously and furiously, because she was
in trouble and I responded with a long strategic answer saying
"No, it's just me, you just need to leave me be,” and I was staring
into the mirror. I walked into the bathroom. She was already in
there and she said "Oh, there's no toilet."
After a while the both of us felt it was all clear and began walking
around on what seemed to be an endlessly expansive series of fire
escapes. When I returned in the direction from which I came in
hopes of getting something of mine, I saw my mom standing at
the screen door looking through and she opened it when she saw
me. She wanted me to come on, clearly, but I was not in trou-
ble like Asia was, and so I took off running immediately so that I
could warn her and so it was very suspicious to my mother, who
now walked storming behind me, while I was running. I couldn't
find Asia, and when I saw her I couldn't get to her, and I realized
my mom was no longer behind me and was likely closer to where
she was, so I called out loudly "Hey mom!” and asked a question,
making it loud enough that Asia would hear that mom was near-
by by saying her name over and over again.
Bunch of dogs. Different kinds. Forget details. They might have

come into the hotel room. Girl that I liked/or wanted to protect
transformed into a dog. Traveling in a mine-cart with her family
on what seemed to be on our way to get medical attention for
her condition. Drove through checkpoints.
"You know, if it wasn't for my circumstance, I really wouldn't hate

dogs and I am not above being able to say that they look cute if
they happen to do so.”
Family reminded me of the B family. Said that because they

looked at me strangely when I was keeping the dog at my knees.
Had a toy or object with me and when she woke up in dog form
after a long time she immediately turned to the object to play
with it.
Now I was with my ‘family‘ but Asia was a different girl. I held
conversations with elderly people. In the hotel, to mom "Do you
believe me when I say I am dreaming?"
She says “No.”
"Well... why not!?" I asked.
At one point I became all excited, saying “I can sing!" and I

thought not only can I sing like I used to, but better than
ever—boundlessly so. But I got distracted while looking for in-
strumental accompaniment. I turned and saw a bunch of guitars
and went to fetch one. "Hey, why do you have two of this gui-
tar?" and it was the lesser-used acoustic guitar in my possession. I
picked up the one they wanted to play and they were like "Aww,"
and they asked me for my help in showing them how to put the
capo on since they hadn't done it before. It was strange and made
out of yarn. I showed them how to put it right before a fret and
how to make it diagonal/slanted (which is not how I really do
it). I never sang because I got hung up on looking for instru-
ments.
When I was demonstrating to my mother the fact that I was

dreaming, I saw a stereo and I thought "I'll go push this and see
what plays," and an album came and on I yelled "This is so weird.
It sounds just like it does in real life. The track order is even the
same. There is no distortion. There is no (?),” because I expected
something to be wrong with how it was perceived in the dream.
And I remember saying "And the music that someone else was
playing a few minutes ago sounded accurate also." I was carrying
on, and said "I want to hear distortions,” and the girl goes "Huh?
I don't know what you're talking about," and I said "Make it dis-
tort!" And she turned the volume all the way up, unsure as to
what she was doing, and then someone yelled at her from across
the room for making it so loud and I said "That's not what I was
talking about. Make it sound all screwy and dreamy." By distor-
tions I meant that I wanted it to be somehow weird and different
in my dreams than in waking reality.
Seamless blend between me and my family and me in someone

else's family. And I knew this second family was supposed to be
mine, but at the same time, I had a reality sense in me that I was
less a part of the family as these other members were.
At this point in the hotel there was still my father and mother
but Asia was changed. Something funny happened between me
and my dad but I can't remember
• I want to say “whitewater rapids; whitewater rapids" but that

doesn't make sense.
Thinking during several points in my dream when I knew I was

lucid "Whoa, I'm not even waking up... I'm not even waking up,”
because normally I cannot keep asleep after realizing I am lucid.
"Wow this is the younger variant." (like something hadn't grown

up yet?")
In the earliest part of the dream I was locked in a room by myself

in a hotel-like place but I can not remember much.
I was still talking to the girl the whole time like she was a person
(while she was a dog). I think she still had a human voice, but she
was changed in every other way.
"Wow, I've got some real stability going on here." "I'm not waking
up... weird."
“HAMMER AND SAWS”
06/25/2013
Poppop going “OOOH” with his phone standing there with
his phone saying "WHOOOAAAAA I HAVE A FORTUU-
UUNEE." "I have a positive fortune cookie," "At 10 o'clock you
will sing before your family and something..." Something about
10 o'clock. Then he said something weird like "Not even enough
time to poop!" and I just couldn’t believe what he said because it
sounded so strange coming from him.
Patrick and I.
329
“THE CAKE”*
06/26/2013
DO YOU WANT THE CAKE? DO I WANT THE CAKE?
330
“SPIRITUAL ELDERS”
06/27/2013
[Lacking description of theater environment]
Hundreds of individuals were wishing to walk along this cat-

walk-like platform within this dark, strange theater in the hopes
of receiving blessing from these “elders” who sat at the end of
the platform. It felt very Hindu-like, the way that they appeared
and were sitting. The blessing process was not complex and often
seemed to entail no more than a solemn nod from all of the el-
ders and a couple words of approval.
I thought it pointless to stand in line and instead went walking

down the slope to the second floor where there was an arcade
and the sort of game attractions that you might find at a carnival
or outdoor festival, like the booths where you have to fire pro-
jectiles at a target or throw rings around bottles. I went around
playing all of the games, and I was victorious in all of the games
and got bored with them.
As I reached the end I looked down at the edge of the floor and
could see that there was another floor below where I stood. It
was very, very dark and difficult to make out, but I could tell
that there was a single game attraction aglow in the darkness be-
low. Intrigued by what I saw, I descended the level. It was like a
small stand where I took a seat and I was shown what resembled
‘the vitruvian man‘ presented in a holographic, galaxial-like glow
with small stars and lights surrounding it. It was a very strange
game, if it could even be called a game at all, involving person-
al trivia. It was much more challenging than the rest and it took
me some time to even figure out how to work it. After complet-
331
ing the game I spun around my stool and looked around the dark
floor for a path to take out of this place but could find none.
Maybe thirty feet to my left walked a woman with her young

daughter, perhaps six or seven years in age. Since it seemed I was
the only other person residing in the darkness of this level I real-
ized that I might seem intimidating to them and so I made sure
to smile politely as they passed by so as to not threaten them.
Despite my genuineness, the mother responded with a mean and
untrusting expression while guarding her daughter with her arm
as they walked on by. After a moment I called out to. saying
"Were you wanting to play this game? I'm no longer playing it."
or "Are you both enjoying your time here?" The mother respond-
ed insultingly, speaking with words I cannot remember upon
waking, but implying that I was a suspicious criminal or pervert
sitting alone in the darkness. "Oh, no,” I laughed, saying "I un-
derstand your concerns, but you've nothing to worry about. Me,
I’m one of the 'good guys'." She continued to behave meanly to-
ward me and so I gave up in my efforts, returning to silence while
I continued searching for an exit but finding none.
After a couple of minutes, I walked down the path I had seen the
other two travel, thinking maybe they knew the way back. Af-
ter turning the corner, I found myself at a dead-end, and ahead
of me there stood the woman and child with whom I had inter-
acted earlier, but they were in the company of two large, muscle-
bound men—one at each side. They taunted me in an inquisi-
torial manner, again making it out to seem that I was up to no
good, although I never harassed anyone. It did not matter that I
explained myself. Suddenly I was standing between the two men
while they looked down upon me with threats and ultimatums.
One of them reached out and seized the items that I carried on
my person in a small box which was stamped with an image re-
sembling some sort of cross (I thought it was maybe the box con-
taining a tarot deck). They became more personal in their accu-
sations and the woman spoke up to say something (not positive-
ly) to the effect of "What do you think it is like to have lost a
loved one to x? What do you think it is like for them to be put
through such discomfort and disease? Do you think you under-
stand? Do you think you know anything at all of what the world
can do?" and I responded, “In fact, I've struggled with a terminal
illness for six years at this point and it is very well possible that I
may have no more than three months left to live."
They remained rigid and guarded in my presence, although I

could tell that my words were affecting them. I spoke at length
about the positivity and happiness and enjoyment I still derive
from the life I live and that I've not settled for the idea of aiming
for any less. They stared back and forth amongst themselves and
it seemed that the musclebound men had stepped back in con-
cession, but from the darkness came two additional men with
even stronger forms and they approached me, stepping forward
until they were clearly invading my personal space. They spoke to
me in a way that was like "So? Well. So what? Who cares?" and
one proceeded to pick me up by the collar of my shirt while say-
ing he didn’t care about my positive attitude. I don’t recall how
I broke free, but I did eventually free myself, running through
the darkness in an attempt to find my way back to the surface so
that I could reunite with my family (who I assumed must be ab-
solutely panicked at this point, given my disappearance). I con-
tinued to run, fearing that the two men were still chasing af-
ter me. Suddenly I realized that I had left my cherished belong-
ings in the darkness with them, but at this moment I heard a
slight whistling sound through the air, looked up and could see
an object soaring toward me. I reached out to clasp it and it was
my personal item and it seems that one of the original persons
I spoke with had decided it should be returned to me. Looking

down at it, I remember being slightly flustered that the condition
of its outer package showed signs of wear and denting due to be-
ing handled by the guards, but it was fine just to know that all of
its contents were safe and secure.
Looking around in this dark and endless floor I recognized that

there was no path by which to return and so I looked for what-
ever protuberances I could find on the large wall in the center of
the room, which was the base on which the second floor was se-
cured, almost a hundred feet above. I barely managed to climb
up the side and after a while I made it to a ledge that jutted
out just far enough—maybe two feet—to where I could stand
and not worry about falling. I sidled to the right, still trying to
avoid the brutes who I suspected were still after me from before
(though I did not see nor sense them), but before I knew it, I had
sidled so far and the ledge had tapered off to where I was strug-
gling once more to remain standing. I was afraid to fall, realizing
I was likely to die if I fell from such a height, but nearby there
was a sort of fence at eye-level, and on the other side of the fence
I saw the spiritual elders from before all sitting. I had worked my
way around to the opposite side of the room in which I started,
bypassing the lengthy and congested catwalk.
I was level once more with the first level, but I was at the total
opposite end of the queue, and only a four or five foot partition
separated me from safety. Once they noticed me looking over
their fence (they were no more than mere inches from where I
stood) they all seemed startled, not knowing what was going on.
I did not wish to disturb them, understanding their sacred status,
and so I tried to find my own way back around, but suddenly my
foothold became strained and I was barely able to support my-
self. Clearly I could have jumped over the wall at any moment,
but instead I looked at them and asked "Do you mind if I hop
over? I can't stand on this ledge for much longer." They looked at
one-another and leaned in for a bit of deliberation before return-
ing to face me. One spoke for them all, saying "Yes, you may." But
as soon as I looked over the fence I could see that they sat among
all sorts of small tables laden with small sacred icons and relics.
Mostly they were glass chalices and sculptures. I paused right as
I began to climb over the fence. In another act of respect, I said
"I will be landing on the table and I do not want to crush or de-
file any of your sacred icons. Can you move them so that I do
not destroy them when I land?" They whispered amongst them-
selves another time and responded saying "Yes." And they began
picking up the small glasses and icons and passed them down the
line from one hand to another until they were out of my way. I
then proceeded in climbing over the partition, and I can clearly
remember how when I had just gotten my leg over the other side
and was about to drop over I noticed that they had forgotten two
of their glasses, so I reached downward with my arm to pick it
up and to hand it to them, saying "You forgot this one and that
one over there,” meanwhile almost losing my balance and falling,
though clearly I could have made it over the wall without crush-
ing them but did not want to take the chance.
Finally I fell upon the table to safety and sat there with laborious
breathing while they all looked at me, silent and confused and
not knowing what to say or to think of me. Looking further
down the walkway, I could see the expressions of all those wait-
ing in line, curious and baffled as to what was going on at the
end where I was. I stood up to depart when the elder to my im-
mediate right (who was at the very edge of the catwalk before
it dropped off ), who was a woman, looked at me and leaned in,
asking me a few questions in a soft voice. These were to do with
what I thought of life and what I learned along the way, along
with what viewed as the meaning of life. Essentially, they were

big existential questions, and unfortunately I can not remember
my response, apart from the fact that they were very impressed
with what I had to say.
The elders looked upon me with a look of astonishment, and

when I was finished, the woman elder smiled—which seemed
extraordinary in such a solemn setting, where the elders weren’t
known to smile. Then she closed her eyes, leaned forward and
kissed first my forehead, next my cheek and lastly my mouth.
While she was kissing my mouth, which seemed to last longer
than the other two, I thought "Am I supposed to return this
kiss or to just accept it?" and I began to kiss in return even if it
was not romantic in expression. She thanked me and blessed me
while I left on my way. I turned around to wave to all the others
and they all responded with kind expressions.
I then went looking for my parents, who I found on the second

level down. I descended the stairs to meet them, not wanting
them to worry any longer about my absence, yet when I ap-
proached them, panting for breath, I learned that they never
even knew I was missing.
I returned to the lobby through which I entered the building,

now seeming larger than before, and it was relieving to be within
a well-lit room after so much time spent in darkness. I wanted
to bring these belongings I carried with me all the way to the
trunk of the car for safe keeping, but then I realized I did not
have the items I came here with and ran erratically trying to find
them. I opened door after door, looking for where they could
be. My sister walked by and I asked "Where have my belongings
gone?" and she didn’t know. We talked for only a moment, try-
ing to jog my memory, then I smiled, having suddenly realized
that they were safe and secure in the trunk of the car. Apparently
I had stored them in the trunk the previous day after having es-
caped from the theater but had no memory of having done this
until now. I walked toward the door with my belongings in hand,
heading in the direction of the parking lot, and woke up.
“BOOK OF WARNINGS”*
06/28/2013
(7 14 dump)
338
“GIRLFRIEND’S SISTER”*
06/29/2013
(7 15 dump)
339
“COOKED PINK”
06/30/2013
Jessy and all the other people were sitting and commenting on
my nails.
"Oh my gosh, your nails!”
"Yeah, they just started breaking.”
"Look at mine! They just started breaking too."
And I said, "That's impressive,” but they weren’t as long as mine.
There was a part where I asked, "What is the name of this pink?"
"Burnt pink. Cooked pink. Toasted pink."
And I said, “I love that color.”
I forget who we were walking with. It was a young woman and

we were all walking down the street. We walked into a little dri-
ve-thru. There was a little booth where there were picnic tables.
A bunch of people I knew were all sitting around talking with
one another.
"You are not a man, Kori,” she said.
"I really don't care much about being one. Actually, I don't care at
all." I told her. Then there was a weird thing with a fish. I had all
these different fish in an aquarium. One fish died before my eyes
and then returned a minute later, with a friend, and I thought
"What just happened?" And I don't know what happened in that
other room where I was sitting, but I was doing something. I was
working on some projects.
340
I remember different characters from TV shows walking by. One

couple that walked by was very strange, I thought 'Whoa, that's
the weirdest one of all!" While all of us were sitting down at
the table. I walked away from Lajos and Rubid. I was just sitting
there with the others while they were talking about my nails.
They were maybe saying something about God. Something in
this dream had to do with God not sure if it was positive or neg-
ative (proselytizing?). I got bored with the people and climbed
on the plant ledge behind them and laid on my back and began
kicking around my feet and knees moving around. The funny
part was "I love this road pink color.”
I remember walking through all these rooms for a really long

time but... something with food?
“HOSPITAL RIDES”
06/30/2013
I was in a hospital, and as I was leaving the hospital I was looking
for someone to take me. They all had reasons for why they need-
ed a special ride and there was this one girl who went and cut
the sleeves off of her shirt before returning with a silvery shirt,
and she was supposed to be a close friend. There was another girl
wearing a red shirt who was supposed to be similarly close to me.
I figured that by knowing all these people I could easily secure
a ride, but I didn’t know where it was. They figured they were
all good together to go... the car was cramped and I couldn't fit.
I asked "What about me?” Then they said "You’ll have to find
someone else or not at all,” and so it was really disheartening. It
wasn't like they were doing anything wrong. They only had so
much space; but I was really trying to get out of the hospital but
no one would drive me. I was standing in the lobby with a bunch
of other people trying to deliberate these things and I was stand-
ing in the lobby with a girl at the end right before I woke up.
"I may be able to figure out how to get you in there, too.” It was
a different girl though. Then a girl a few minutes before the end
who had cut too much of a hole in her shirt sleeve. She had a
weird accent. I remember when she was across the room cutting
her sleeve, and she said something and I repeated what she said
in a funny confused voice. Then she burst out laughing because
she realized she did it, before that we were making a video and I
was running down the hallway (factory?) all charged, saying:
"Now is the time to come out, we all have confidence in the work
we're creating.”
342
in the beginning we were just filming in a closet, if you will, but

now is the time to let the monster out and film the monster
around town, if you will.”
So we were just looking for... I had just become really charismat-

ic. I was filming something in the hospital rooms and dressing
rooms. At one point I just got really familiar with the acting.
Then I got charismatic and other people started getting hyper
too and so we walked around going "ALL RIGHT! ALL
RIGHT!" and I don't think anyone else knew what we were talk-
ing about. At least one other person did.
I am not sure what went on earlier. Those two girls and I (and
possibly one other) were making a monster movie. We needed
more space for some reason. I remember being overenthusiastic,
"I'm just confident we can do anything!"
"If the monster gets too big for the closet, let the monster out of
the closet.”
“AM I OPENING A SEATBELT?”
07/01/2013
At the end of the dream I was sitting on the couch, asking "Am
I opening a seatbelt? Why is there a seatbelt?" (I didn’t say it out
loud, I only thought it)
"You have a pig hanging two feet out from the boundaries of
your plate."
"You're not exactly the boundaries by which we abide."
Bacon on my mother’s plate sticking out so far. Said something

to her about the law.
"I don't see you in the book of Genesis.”
"Well, in Genesis, God had to cut you out of me,” she responded.
I was amused that we both randomly mentioned Genesis at the

same time. Then she got mad at my dad for sitting on the couch
and eating before dinner. Then he and I were sitting together,
perhaps playing a game. So she yelled from the kitchen, before
walking in with her food. And she was mad to discover that we
already had food. And I said "At least it doesn't have a pig stick-
ing out two feet," and then she compared it to herself, like ‘jifi-
af ’ (?) or ‘something about her shirt being messy’. Then I remem-
ber hearing a shout from upstairs. My mom started speaking to
someone upstairs, shouting, but she was downstairs, and I asked
"Is Asia here?" and I couldn't tell. Apparently so.
344
“MUSICAL RACE”
07/01/2013
I went to piss in the bathroom. It was a large bathroom lacking
stalls. Anita's friend was on the other end.
"I'll open it! I'll open it!" she called, but proceeded to work the
lock.
She then let me know that I was urinating in the sink.
"This is the sink!?"
"Yes, and it sure seems that the men have really taken to it lately."
Ally then showed up and complimented me, saying "I really en-
joyed watching your techno-race earlier!"
Woman holding all the tanks up.
"You sound like you’re interested in buying them."
"I'll take two!" I said jokingly.
Had to go to the bathroom before my race with Anita. We were

going to run down this long incline in a hilarious way. Every step
played a musical note. I was on the phone talking to her mother.
I was handed her phone while she took care of something. Her
mother was in a car with her baby brother and they weren't really
talking to me.
"Hey! Is that him on the phone? Say Hi to Tendon!"
One spot of the track was exclusively piano. We were going to

race. As soon as I left her I knew this was going to be fatal to my
345
dream. Her friend was talking to me from the other end of the
partition.
I looked across the room during the contest and glimpsed her
through a railing. She was on the other team and her hair was
in pigtails. When I looked at her, her friend was looking at me.
Then her friend turned to look at her and I could read her lips
as she said "Tendon's watching you." Then I saw Anita turning
her head to look at me so I looked away. Some lady was speaking
about our team getting three wins and the others getting zero.
"Well, this isn't going to seem fair if the one team just gets to take
everything home."
I helped the team win their third game, which involved the lady
asking:
"Who is satisfied with themselves and truly knows themselves?

Who is happy with the person they are?”
I got all excited. “OOOH! ME! ME!" And I raised both of my

arms enthusiastically, causing some of the people to laugh. I'm
not sure that anybody else in the room responded to her ques-
tion and so we won for that reason only. I forget the nature of
the first two contests.
I was speaking with two guys while I leaned against a wall. They
started playing a werewolf movie.
"I don't like werewolf movies,” I told them.
“What, are you serious?"
“I'm not going to scream or anything, but it makes me uncom-

fortable."
"No... really!?" They were surprised.
There was a part where Anita and I were in a hallway, kissing by

the beverage machines. There was another race in the beginning,
but I can't remember it well.
"Do you know how hard it is to empty out that sink tank?"
"No?"
"It only flushes three times a day."
"Well, I guess I usually just hit it at the right times."
And then she goes over and pulls the back of the toilet off and
shows me, "Look how easy it is!" Then she presses the button and
flushes really quick.
“That's awesome!" I responded enthusiastically.
She laughed, “You make it sound like you want to buy it.”
I worked my way outside and I think she followed me. I looked

at her several times from across the room. Our eyes met once.
I might have gone over to get her. It was almost time to leave
and she had called her mother to delay some pre-existing plans
the two of them had made so that Anita and I could spend some
time together.
There was a guy eating tortilla chips out of my hand. Couldn't

figure out how to eat them while using my hand as a plate.
Anita was waiting for me when I returned to the top of the in-
cline. I can't believe I had to use the bathroom—especially since
it accomplishes absolutely nothing. I walked over and said hello
to Anita while the woman was speaking about our prizes. Others
walked by and made comments to Anita and I as we were kissing

but we totally ignored them (they weren’t negative comments;
they were simply attempting to talk to us).
“DANCE MENTOR”
07/02/2013
Then there was that connector room between planes. One of the
planes was clearly more ethereal. That tunnel got clogged with
packing material.
I was helping some guy with his work and we were walking back
and forth. “Do you realize that I am what you consider being un-
real?” I alluded to the fact that I was a dream image projecting
from a distant reality and he simply smiled at me in response.
The bathroom was kind of strange and cramped in the nice per-
son's house. There was a toilet on the left, another on the right,
and no doors.
"Hey do you have a bathroom?"
I felt weird when I asked because the girl was around and she was
confused as to why I was hanging around up there and I didn’t
feel like going down to the lower floor, but there was no door so
I gave up. That guy always sat at a table writing and every time
I walked by, he was there right after you came out of the tunnel
that got filled with paper (didn't want to get lost and stuck and
suffocate). He was always at work on the table, and I would al-
ways pass him by. It was further but you could see it. I remember
at one point he looked at me and smiled greeting me. “Wow, he
is really nice.”
At first I didn’t like him just because he was dating the most at-
tractive person in the dream, the daughter of people I was staying
with, then I talked to him and realized his appeal.
349
Nanny and my mother in Walmart talking about this guy I was

staying with, saying he was gay.
"Wait... he's gay?"
We were watching people dance at the end. Four people; two fa-
mous people along with the two that I was staying with. I knew
them all I think, somehow.
Was maybe in a more realistic place earlier in the dream. Some-

thing to do with a dog? Something very strange or very creepy.
Bazaars everywhere, but it felt very Indian—in the ant farm
place especially (shaped). All those things you climb up. Large
gorge in the middle.
"Does someone like you go across the rungs?"
I said something wrong when I was differentiating between the

two. A simple mistake but I made a foible and corrected myself.
"Oh no, I'm going down there."
I think he tried the rungs but stepped off after one.
The people that I stayed with, the mentor was like a dancer, but
he was very. There was one time when someone saw something
I was carrying around. I wasn't able to tell anybody what it was.
‘Cause I knew they would freak out if they knew this kind of
thing existed. It was something magickal and I know it would
frighten people to know I carried it around. I remember stand-
ing with it in my hand while I was speaking with my teacher.
The dream may have had something to do with my throat at one

point. I felt like at one point I was fighting someone and may
have been in danger of being grabbed around my neck. I think
there was a strange boy and maybe a strange garden, like in the
very, very beginning.
Something about needing a cigarette in the beginning of the

dream. Standing out in this grassy, verdant area. Flowers every-
where. I had just arrived. I don't know what happened.I was just
sitting in the backyard of this buildingZ It was really secluded
and took a long time to get there
The guy I was staying with was like an Indian actor
[continue...]*
I had some weird sickness and my throat was swelling like crazy.
Had some transient virus or something. And I was just trying
to sleep the day off and work it away. Typing away at my com-
puter in Londonberry. While listening to my own Tendon Levey
songs. Flushing the toilet and it wouldn't flush. I had filled it
with something strange, I can't remember what I threw into it. I
think I had ripped something up. Woke up with sleep paralysis. I
remember my sister also wanted to get something that I wanted
to get. So it was annoying me because I wanted it. Everyone else
was talking about it
N wrote me a message online. I checked it while I was really

delirious. So I wrote back to her. At the very end of the dream I
thought “Did I really write back to her? That was not smart.”
"It was all existential."
Kind of apologetic but at the same time it sounded like I was jus-
tifying myself.
“ONE HUNDRED PERSPIRING
RUNNERS”
07/04/2013
There was a swamp covered with blue jelly patches, and I said
"Oh, this is where you get our stuff,” and my sister walks by and
says "It’s red onions."
Me and this guy had become close. Right before this sign I can
remember all these people running down the road like he was a
criminal. He had either taken off with something of mine or was
heading me off trying to get to some place before I would (the
end of which belonged to me, rightfully). And when I walked
out and saw a hundred people running down the road at fast
pace I thought it was great, them all sweating visibly and eager to
catch him merely for the reason that they wanted to help me out,
and when I looked upon them and saw that they cared for me in
this way I was surprised.
I think this is when I was standing in the parking lot asking this
one guy at my right if he needed to go do something, (Someone
else came up to him and asked him if he wanted to go exercise
with him so I said "Do you want to go exercise? There's no need
to stay here on my account") and then he just burst out singing
this soul song in falsetto with two very drawn out high notes at
the end. Hilarious.
I spent a long time in his basement. (Patrick’s old basement). I

was sitting in the house between these two girls on the couch.
Water all over the floor. All of us on a weird dock platform. I
was in my swim trunks and I was timid walking into the ocean. I
remember being in a part where I was climbing around the cor-
352
ner. We were trying to get somewhere apparently. We were all sit-

ting on chairs. There was one point where I mentioned my throat
problems. The guy had a crazy film collection.
"Why do you think you live near me?"
“Because I've seen you walking around"
And I kept wondering if that was a lie or an excuse. Something

strange about him I can't remember. First part of the dream I
kind of hated him. He took something of mine but what was it?
Something very important. And I trapped him somehow with a
table. After I trapped him I thought "This guy is kind of cool.”
And then we started laughing and hanging out.
Sitting on the couch talking. We weren't watching anything, just

talking. Bottles of soda all over the place. And I kept thinking
"Soda?" And took little sips at a time. Felt like teenagers at a par-
ty, between two girls my age. We were still out on the ocean but
not really. It was maybe beneath the house that we were inside of.
Every once in a while we would just start to rock a little, like the
ocean swaying. Something about sharks in the ocean... the ocean
was very creepy.
The girl on my left... I kept on rocking into her slightly, and

throughout the dream I got more and more close. Not ridicu-
lously close and I don’t think we kissed or anything. Leaning on
her and falling asleep. At one point I leaned on the girl at my
right (dissention there? waited to see the girl on the left see me
leaning on this girl?)
I remember being mocked early on in the dream. I remember

changing my pants several times. I never liked the pants I was
wearing. Changing it in that corner so that no one would see me,
but one girl was standing there while I was getting changed
I remember when all those people were racing down the street
later on. There were alot of people from church. It just took me
telling one or two people for it to have a domino effect, ‘cause
then when it got around that someone "took Tendon's thing"
they all just took off. I felt really appreciated.
A bunch of people just hanging out, being silly, playing games in

the house. It was Patrick’s house. What happened is that Patrick
died, his family moved, and then this guy moved in? But Patrick
wasn't in my neighborhood like this guy was. I remember later on
going for a walk and stopping at one point and turning around. I
don’t know what I did, but I turned to look down the neighbor-
hood to see if he was there.
I remember my mom was saying "This is the food that we've been
eating that grows in Dog Urine?"
Weird patches of blue swamp. My father just went plowing

through it to go and check to see if we (our house) was close by
but when he came back he never said anything. I remember some
weird lazy susan type thing, something spinning and being in the
store but I’m not sure what store or why for. The girls were equal-
ly close and they both seemed to like me just as much but they
didn't say it, were quiet about it, letting me choose on my own;
but somehow, I guess what happened is that I picked the girl on
the left because when the house rocked I just rocked into her, and
once I was there I just didn't mind leaning that way. I just remem-
ber getting upset a couple times, getting up and walking across
the floor in my swimming trunks, looking for my cup and my so-
da.
The guys were a bit punkish. The one that I spoke with the most
reminded me of Jm. I remember telling them I couldn't eat some-
thing because I have a throat disorder. They were asking me to eat
something "That's not true. You just don't want to eat it." "No, I
really can’t eat it.” Someone else came by afterward and asked me
something similar and I said I can't eat it.
The one girl to the left. I remember it was a really gradual process
by which we warmed up to one another, but at the very end I
can't remember exactly but I'm pretty sure I put my arm around
her. Until then we just talked and leaned. I remember looking at
her at the end when I cared more. She was silly but very consid-
erate; considerate of how I was doing.
I remember it being in a neighborhood where... all those 100

people had ended up blocking off a road, maybe trying to keep
the escapee from getting to my home, but there was a forked path
and they only considered one of the paths and left the other one
wide up while 100 piled up in the left path and with a trap. He
was coming through the other path. When he came out I start-
ed trying to push him. "Oh, you need to go this way.” Coercing
him with force. But it didn't work, ‘cause if I had him go any fur-
ther back he would be grasped by all of the 100 and he would be
pulled in and taken under, like a human wall, but he avoided it.
Maybe he found out where something valuable of mine was lo-
cated
I slowed him down or stopped him and there was something re-
ally strange. Maybe some cats or insects? Snakes or lizards? They
were extremely long and they were all curled up by where I was
standing on the path, in the place where our paths would inter-
sect, but I decided I guess there was no problem with him, then
we started talking about getting together and doing stuff. He was
a white guy, for sure, but he looked dark skinned earlier on in the
dream. People liked him and kept inviting him to do something.
Something jockey. Didn’t want to let me down so he was going

to stay
“BLACK ANITA”
07/05/2013
There was a black woman at the gas station. She was overweight.
Me and Anita out in the parking lot. Sitting at a booth. We be-
gan talking for a little while.
"I can't help but wonder why you want to date her.”
They were friends, coincidentally. I explained my reasons,

though I cannot remember what was said, but I have an amazing
answer. I was lucid throughout the whole thing.
Half way in the door later. She said "I'll make sure I'm not THAT
guy" and laughed and I said "ME TOO.”
"When I go out in the parking lot, do you want me to tell her

you’re in here so she can say hey?"
And she explained she was a bit self-conscious at the moment

for several reasons and so would rather not, but "Thank you very
much for your kindness.”
Then I went back into the parking lot and Anita was gone. The
entire parking lot was empty now. I stood there looking around
for a while. Then a bunch of cars appeared out of nowhere and
I walked over to the sidewalk and all the people from the gas
station mart came walking out. I noticed that “Black Anita” was
leaving. She came out and said "What are you still doing here?"
"Well, she drove off.”
“What?"
357
"It’s not like she knew that I was in this building.”
We just stood there while a bunch of people gathered on the

sidewalk.
My vision started going black.
Then I heard her say “That man is a bit suspicious. Is he coming

after us?"
"What man?" I didn’t see anyone.
"That man. Is he following us?"
"Whoa...” I said. “I don’t feel like being attacked by something I

can't even see,” and I woke myself up.
I also remember looking out and seeing a dog standing there in

the parking lot once the lot was filled.
“So why are you doing what you're doing?"
Wanting to know what specific qualities I liked. It was romantic,

like phoenix.
“MAYA”
07/06/2013
A girl gave me clothes to wear. It was just me, that girl and her fa-
ther. There was that play with that guy, that funny guy. “Maya!”
And I kept getting more seconds, holding her tightly from be-
hind. She had a lot of my band shirts at her house. We were
locked in a building earlier on, like a church building and I re-
member escaping barely. I escaped with this nice elderly lady.
Two others of myself, luggage. Didn’t make all the cars the first
time they showed up because I was getting all my luggage pre-
pared. This lady showed up "Oh I got room for you"I need to get
my stuff "
"If that happens then the other two will see you going and then
they won’t let you leave.”
All the other cars were gone. Everyone was pairing up, getting
into different cars and heading toward a certain specific (impor-
tant) destination.
There was that dog at the end that was trying to get her. It was re-
animated or something strange of that nature. I'm not sure what
was happening, but it was trying to attack her. I did it to them,
myself, and her father was foreign. My boxer briefs were shred-
ded and full of holes and I was self-conscious. Was there a show-
er?
I was locked in church for a very long time. It wasn't an urgent

escape but we all found it important to go. I remember being in
a weird ceiling where playwrights got together and were writing
and putting on abstract play acts. I don’t think that sums it up
359
well. I feel like there were some bad people there. I feel like I was
hiding and running from people the whole time. I really wanted
to be with this girl (it’s too hard to describe).
Very strange riding with these old people in the car and I spent
a long time there. Staring out the window, very surreal. It didn't
feel like it would feel in real life. I kept looking out the window
wishing that I still had the luggage that was left in the lobby. That
girl and I were being really silly. Looked like children but they
weren’t actually children; they were just little people. I remember
getting into a weird fight with several of them—not physical but
just that they were being aggressive. The place I am in feels like
a small conference room, but I can't remember what happened.
There was some weird stuff with time freezing and I was a bad
guy as far as they were concerned, though I wasn't really. There
were some really bad people in that church. Lots of strange cor-
ruption, although this is just an impression.
• Guy talking, sitting there saying "You were one of us. No, I was
one of us. No, you were one of us,” and he said something about
my eye. Talking about how he is very respectable and his eyes don’t
move, and how he used to be an angrier person than a lot of people,
comparing himself to me, trying to tell me how I can achieve this
and be like this.
“SWALLOW UP THE WOMEN”
07/06/2013
I was walking around in my house in a state of total lucidity. I
came before my parents, realizing I could write things down and
transfer them over. I was walking around saying "Concomitant!
Concomitant!" They were all sitting in the dining room and I
told them to give me a great line or word that they made up.
My dad says "I can't."
And I said "Say something funny that I can use for something
when I wake up."
"Ehh, I can't."
"It doesn't have to make sense. In fact, it would be even better if

it didn't. Make it something ridiculously dream-like."
Then he thinks for a second, gets a smile on his face, and in a very
strange and dramatic tone of voice (almost like when a westerner
will imitate an Eastern Indian) he says:
"You are to take a wood and swallow up the women!"
He said it twice in a row. Afterwards I accidentally became aware

of my body. Then I said "Quick, mom! Do you have something
to say?" But the dream was fading too quickly. "Oh no. It's
doomed,” I said as my vision went black.
361
“MOUNTAIN TRAVELS”
07/06/2013
When I felt myself waking up I began repeating two lines to my-
self so that I would remember what to write about.
I awoke to discover that my alarm clock had apparently been go-

ing off for a long time already. And I looked at the computer and
thought "Oh no! It's almost one! I overslept!"
Afterwards I came out and started recording my dream and told

my mom about having beat out a musclebound man ("Do you
not know the stereotype about these people?") and she started
going on about how she loves muscular men and I refuted some-
thing that she said, saying how that dates her in thinking that a
man like that is attractive, since times have changed. Then she
began listing the supposed good qualities of muscular men, and
I can only remember her saying "They're independent and don't
rely on anything.”
And I refuted her statements, saying "What the hell are you talk-
ing about? They're dependent on OTC drugs, they're dependent
on people's perceptions of them, they're dependent on..."
Then I woke up in my bed again with my alarm clock already go-

ing off, looked at the clock and I said "Oh no. It's almost five! I
overslept.”
I had experienced a false awakening and I thought it was the sec-

ond nap of the day just because in my mind I knew that I didn't
have dreams for my third, but in reality it was actually the third
(hence the difference in the times at which I awoke).
362
There was this one small room where we all sat.
I approached a man covered in casts and bandages, “Are you the

third guy?"
"No... (?)”
Because there were two people just announced by the "coach"

who would be #1 and #2 in racing out the back left door.
Then there was that room shack pitch black where there was a
lady taking a shower in the dark and I had a stamp (or not) on
my body that was a circle where was written a word like "Craze"
or "Crave" that could get me out of trouble. She screamed when
I walked through the door. I had been here before. It shouldn't
have mattered now. I forget what I was doing, but there were two
rooms. I go through one, and it was like a weird whore house but
with visible signs of prostitutes. Sitting in the room with all those
people and I remember being made an example of. I won some
of the rounds between this really really strong guy. There’s a guy
and a girl sitting in a chair. 1st and 2nd. And the guy in front in
the chair, messed up, bandages. I forget what the bandage man
said but he told me it was messed up. I think I might have been
making fun of him when I asked him, when you go to the back of
the room and turn left there was a door that you could take that
led to a long channel to race through, canyon like.
Driving through the mountain, on a giant ride flowing down the

side of this mountain. There was a voice speaking loudly over the
valley talking about a guy who was originally from here who re-
ally loved this place growing up. It was so weirdly shaped.
"It reminds him of his own home town, but unfortunately for
him he could never see over the tall-most hill,” or something.
Huge dr. Seussy hills and landscapes. I don’t know where I was
going. I was running away from the prostitute and the guy that
chased me. So there was one winding path in the middle be-
tween these swirled hills. I went on this ride in the air on like
these flumes and I remember the only other people on the ride
were middle-aged women and there was one about 15 feet in
front of me and one 15 feet behind and I was just riding on this
snakey water path high up through these... I don’t know how
to describe it. I also remember trying to switch my position. I
switched while I was riding and I almost got my legs stuck and
it freaked me out. I was trying to sit a lot more naturally, rather
than straddling.
Sometimes indoors, sometimes outdoors. At the end of this ride

was likely the room where the racers were. Me and someone else
got in a fight there. I don’t remember though. I always went in-
to that really dark shack. I had been there three or four times
by now. It had variables. Sometimes the girl was in the shower.
Sometimes she was in the room up front and sometimes she was
gone and maybe the guy was there, but there was a room beyond
that too and I went over there and heard the water running, so
I stepped a foot into the shower room. I don’t know if I made a
noise or not, but she screamed and the guy I heard chasing me...
I didn't know I wasn't supposed to go here, but it was normal. So
much running and motility in this dream... and I remember a re-
ally fat guy too.
Pretty positive Florentin was somewhere in the dream. He might

have been the guy I raced against at one point. It was fun even
though he might have been out to get me. I looked through a lot
of strange neighborhoods (more?). I remember a swamp too, I
think. A lot of strange environments. I felt like an explorer.
“IF YOU FEEL ALONE...”
07/07/2013
(18)*
365
“THE FLOOD”
07/07/2013
I was thrown into this game where I was to attack this giant,
monstrous man. I had to protect a disk and my power was given
a name like Houdinig [sic]. I had to trade when walking through
the two stewardesses. I transformed into a shining weregoat, and
instead of going left and around the corner I went right up to
him while he was sitting and began violently going at him. But
he overpowered me, and my lifeline was getting too low and my
energy levels, which were visible, were not being given enough
time to recuperate, because everytime they would start to raise
he would hit me again and I was ending up a bloody mess. It all
felt much like a video game.
Walking in the store and the whole world was dissolving. Post-
apocalyptic shelter. Asia in one aisle. I was on one far end and
everything was going crazy, she was freaking out and trying to
hold on to me.
Sitting with all of those church people. This guy came from the
left side, an elder, and the preacher did something heinous, and
my whole pew revolted, and I was like "Wow, I don't even claim
to be apart of this faith anymore and I don't even know why I
am here, but that was a horrible disservice to what you are trying
to convey in your message.” The elder came over and did or said
something very strange. My whole pew stood up. I went back out
and came back in. I felt so cool because my hair was huge. I was
the last one in from this group and made a little scene and every-
one was looking at me scoffingly because I looked so nuts and
366
rebellious but I knew I looked cool, “Look at the unruly peo-

ple." I remember the girls crying in the hallway. Thinking they’re
taking this too seriously. But it did show a very dark side of hu-
mankind. It looked like a giant airport when I walked out. Some-
thing about cigarettes. My parents were coming to pick me up.
I had to go really far to get some cigarettes. A market street ear-
ly on. There were two sons and one father. I think I was looking
for cigarettes then too. They were all playing in some small cor-
ner and the eldest son came and helped me find my way to some
place. They thought I was dangerous at first but realized I was
kind
Flood destroyed most of Virginia. Destroyed all of my stuff. Had

to go back to New Jersey.
The left side was the safer side of the store, but people were disap-
pearing, whole sections of people near frozen food. I remember
going far down to where the cafeteria was and I remember seeing
two things hanging up and I don’t know what they were. Two
coats were hanging from a coat-rack, and in that area I felt the
most demonic power and it sounded like a weird meeting was
going on in the dark right here and I could not see it, could not
hear it and could not explain it. I then took off running as fast as
I could but did it in a certain silly way so that it could seem that I
wasn't running or actually afraid but that I just turned back nat-
urally, having not seen what I did, skipping kind of.
While I was running back to where I was down that same strip
there was a leaping shadow jumping from aisle to aisle adjacent
to where I was running. They were everywhere. Those burqa nin-
ja men who appeared out of nowhere and seemed very threaten-
ing and looked identical and they had to fight each other. I want-
ed to get away but they never would attack you as long as they
saw the others of themselves. While I walked away they would

regenerate/materialize. It would look at me, and so defensively
I would point to where the others were and he would leave me
alone and go fight the others. They were not the shadow people
from the coat-rack part, though. Those were the creepiest.
I had a particular power or something ever since I came into this

store/shelter, but it got changed when I walked over to the other
end of the store for refuge. I walked over between the two stew-
ardesses and they halted me, saying "We need this and that, and
we will have to give you a new strength and weakness every time
you pass us by." And this is when I was given the harddrive and
the Houdinig.
(I thought "Oh! Houdini!") I was able to change into a weregoat.
My parents and grandparents seemed so nonchalant when ex-

plaining the flood to me. I remember traveling back on the road
and all seemed like a giant basin of water, and it was horrifying.
My heart stopped when they told me we had to go back. “What
do you mean we're going back to New Jersey?" The house had
been destroyed and they hadn’t been able to save anything. And
I fell on my knees with glazed eyes and said "What happened to
my music... My artwork... my writings..." and I started breaking
down in the worst sort of way, I couldn't believe it.
"It’s all gone and nothing was salvageable"
I tried so hard not to freak out, but when I started showing signs
my mother kept saying "You're no different than any else. We all
lost what we had."
And I disputed her, saying "You think you lost something? You
lost a chair and a couch on which you spent thirty years watching
television and internet videos. I lost my lifecraft and my every ef-

fort."
I thought to myself ' "I can't believe I didn't even bring my iPod
with me to the place today... I will never leave it behind, and I
could at least be able to recover my canonical music.”
They continued reprimanding me "We ALL lost out"
I remember sitting by the frozen food section and some kid was
going "I'm really hungry" in a starving voice and miserable "I re-
ally want to eat.”
"There's food everywhere.”
"I don’t think we're allowed to touch anything. Who knows what
they'll do to us"
And then someone else said "I don't think they ever actually said
it outright, but we're all too afraid to touch it."
I added nonchalantly, "Nah. You can just eat it. Actually, I didn’t
even think about that. "
"I haven't eaten in days since this happened "
"Neither have I, but I used to be anorexic so that may have saved

me from weariness"
Then I thought they had some appealing food. I think this is why
I went walking to the far end where I found the dangling weird
coats, ‘cause I didn't want frozen food, but when I returned to
them in the end they were all gone, maybe demolished because
of having eaten?
Following the flood, the whole store was like the new world
where everyone was to stay. The most intense moment in the
dream, for me, was when I realized I lost all my creative work,
and I didn’t care about anything else. I think I went back later
and found my room but it wasn’t really my room but like a shelf
in the store, where a few items remained, but they were noth-
ing I cared about. The whole store had descended into anarchy
and chaos. It was very creepy. There were tribes forming. The
strangest part was the mandatory strengths and weaknesses they
forced upon you.
The church sermon was clearly manipulative.

“LUCID AT CHURCH”
07/08/2013
There was Isaac lying on the table behind the back pew (where
the ushers stand). I was leaning against the back pew speaking
to him, but I went lucid almost immediately, and I began to
smile in a very strange, devilish way, but I didn’t seek to enlighten
him to my perceptions (if not for a couple vague comments).
I can still remember what it felt like to smile. It was huge and
I said "Waaaaaaaait." Nothing specific had happened. We were
just talking casually. But it suddenly clicked in my mind that I
was dreaming. My manner of speaking became more eccentric.
I asked him how he and his wife were doing, and after a short
while he lifted up his legs and laid down on the table, ignoring
me as I was seeming increasingly hyperactive.
I was going to charge the church stage and do somersaults on it.

I started walking out of the pew and running down the aisle but
then slowly turned around, going "Ohhhh noooo,” while I crept
back to where I came from, since I had grown embarrassed and
realized this wasn't smart after all, even if it was a dream.
I remember looking at the people while I was talking to my

mom. I was looking at their faces after I had told them I was
dreaming, and though I would not call them hostile, they cer-
tainly seemed to look shiftily in my direction, looking at me from
the sides of their glance in a suspicious manner like if they were
not wanting me to learn what I had just learned. Was having a
problem with my right eye for much of the dream.
"Ah! There's supposed to be water all over this floor."
371
“Water?"
"Yeah. It doesn't look as it normally should.”
"I kind of recognize a lot of these people, and I know you've been
here more recently than I have, so I am sure that this building is
probably made the way it is because this is how I remember it. So
if there's any changes that you've seen made since then I'm sure
it's not been taken into account."
Then over the loudspeakers played Valentine by Bryan Ferry and

I said "Ha! This isn't even one of his more popular songs. This is
totally happening just for me." (like it wasn’t strange enough that
he was playing over a church loudspeaker but that it was strange
purely for the reason that it wasn't one of his singles).
I remember asking Isaac questions and telling funny stories. He

started looking annoyed that I was seeming a bit eccentric. If it
wasn't for my eye problem acting up. I was running through the
hall looking for people my own age but then thought of some-
thing more interesting to do. I totally had full lucidity. I remem-
ber in the dream going "wow, that's lucidity and control for every
dream this week.” There was something I had decided to do at
the end.
She said "Oh, this is like a dream," and I was trying to convince
her that it was, but I hadn’t said anything yet so I thought it was
lucky for me that she thought this.
• Some guy’s name was written "Jeffaf Back Scucowitz.”

“REST STATION”
07/09/2013
My dad and I were driving around in a car and we stopped at a

rest stop. I was trying to be brave and make progress, so I sug-
gested we step out of the car. There were weird trails to take to
get there. The exits to the parking lot were very thin and unusual.
There were also groups of people everywhere. There were some
people sitting on the sidewalk. There were two guys with their
motorbikes propped up and they were lying underneath them
while working on them. Then, in front of the entranceway, there
were four guys in square formation doing some kind of karate
training or demonstrations, each perfectly choreographed, mov-
ing in sync. I still remember the music that we listened to in the
car. It was so realistic. We listened to one band for a while and
then he made a comment:
“Oh... that’s xxx?"
“No. If this was xxxx then I would have liked them."
It was just basic small talk. We were in his van at the time. I re-
member when we were entering the parking lot we almost hit
people. Then he stepped out of his van and went over to the hose
to wash his car. Right when he left I started having the worst pan-
ic attack. My senses all became distorted and disorderly and it
was frightening me. I said "Hey... please... we need to go.”
"Really?"
373
He was getting ready to wash his van. I remember saying "If it's
about that, we can wash it back at home and I can help out with
it if it's a time thing.”
"It's not just time, it's not just the resources."
Something weird with the water? He started going to the old Im-
pala.
"Are we taking this?"
"No.”
Then we returned to the van.
As we were going to leave the parking lot there was a steep hill
and the park was very, very narrow, and when we were at the top
preparing to go down the hill I grew anxious. It wasn’t all that
tall, but quite steep, and descending down the hill felt, to me,
exactly like a roller coaster. Very strange, vivid sensation in my
dream. I remember thinking "Wow, I survived that.”
After that we just went driving more, and then I turned on a dif-
ferent CD, and I can still remember the melody of the song I was
listening to. The song doesn’t really exist.
• My mother holding a pair of scissors saying "People are afraid of...

the CLUE."
“PARTIES OF FIVE”
07/09/2013
I was looking for a party to go with. Only five people allowed
in each party. Went down the well to get something strange, like
cookies, but came back up and all the parties were filled. Four or
five people left but I didn't know which of them were with oth-
er people and everyone was sitting down. So I asked this young
woman, who I found to be kind of attractive but she was also a
bit too energetic. She was sitting at a table to help four or five
other people who couldn't find a place to go.
Something about ‘indiscernment’? Everyone looked like they

were in prayer. All ready to go out. I had a backpack, my hair was
really unkempt. After that she started leading me away across this
table. I was doing weird dance movements, going "Boooooo.”
I had come down an elevator. It was a really tight crawl. Coming

to me saying "Come in the van with me.” Waiting for a van with
enough cool people so that I would want to do so, but then there
would be like one person waiting with their hand on the wheel.
“Come on! Come on!" And I wanted to wait until finding a team
where every person was ‘awesome’ and everyone got stalled. And
so I went for a walk and climbed down the well and I was stand-
ing with a girl when I did it and when I got to the bottom I
shouted up "Oh, they have these kinds of cookies too. They have
the pink ones, not just the white ones."
She said "What?" And I said "Yeah I like these ones better." And
she was yelling down something through the well. I don’t re-
member doing anything at the bottom and decided to go back
up. I was going to grab some of the cookies on the way ‘cause they
375
were hanging from the top, but I didn't and when I reached the
top the girl was no longer there and I realized everyone was gone.
Already picked and left where they were leaving to.
Then I was in some place with goats. I feel like I remember a

team of metalheads or something, but I have no idea. There was
something annoying with my sister's Korean friends. I think they
showed up at one point and drove me nuts. That might even be
why I originally went down the well because I didn’t want to be
anywhere near them.
• Someone just said "WOO, bones!" and then a painting of a man

said "Dah-Dah!"
Isaac was totally there. I saw him and thought "Oh I'll get on a
team with him.” But he said his team was already full, and he
went walking by with another guy and I was aggravated.
• Some security sign says "THE QUOTA!" Some guy hands some
guy something.
• There were these teenage girls. Maybe they weren't even teenagers.
Maybe they were my age. Maybe I’ve forgotten I’m not a teenager
anymore. Actually, I don’t know if there was anything like
that...so...
That weird wall/well was rectangular and very narrow—only

wide enough to fit two people, but from front to back, and I was
completely stuck. This was a really tight fit and I wasn't sure I
would make it. I expected the girl to still be at the top and I was
going to grab a piece of the cake to my left and throw her a piece
just so she could taste what I was talking about. I think I heard
her while I was climbing up, but once I made it to the top every-
one was gone.
“SABOTAGE MY DREAM
RECALL”
07/10/2013
Looking around in the dark for my voice recorder so that I could

recount my dream, but it was all dark and nothing was turned
on. All the power had been run down on everything or cut, and
then that girl ran over to where I was sitting in the office. I was
holding a disc that I had received from some guy and I was get-
ting ready to put it in my computer. There were two in the case.
The one on the right was wrapped in burger paper. I started un-
wrapping it and a young woman who was probably my age comes
by and yells "Are you kidding!? You're supposed to...”
"What? I don't know. I'm just...”
"Oooh, I'm sorry, Im sorry, Im sorry."
She misunderstood what I was doing. She then left the office and
walked down the hall laughing and one of the people at work on
their computer desks asked what she was doing and the laughing
woman said, “Oh, I just went in there being a jerk and don't even
know what I'm doing anymore,” and I remember everyone look-
ing at me like "Huh?" because it was kind of a confusing situa-
tion. She had made some assumptions about me and what I was
doing and was relieved to find that she was wrong.
I remember being in the bathroom at the end of the dream. I was

looking into the mirror while debating whether or not I should
take a shower before an upcoming meeting or conference, be-
377
cause my hair still looked okay, and I accidentally disconnected

my iPod from the computer and it began reformatting somehow.
I feel like he was a zombie kind of person. I was at this big cam-
pus office kind of place. I couldn't do dream recall because none
of my stuff was powered. Someone had drained the power on
my electronics and cut the power on the electricity, apparently
trying to sabotage my dream recapitulation. I was staying in this
one building by myself and there were several doors. There were
some girls and some guys staying there. I had a boss. I was doing
work. I remember leaving all of my magickal material lying on
the counter and my mom walked by. She didn't see it and didn't
say anything. Tarot cards and books all over the place. Some-
thing to do with magicianship. I recall standing at this guy's table
in the long room, getting the cd disc from him for the computer.
It had some secret information on it. I believe he was a magician
himself. Really wise guy who I had heard of before I even met...
like "Wow, it’s him” (not someone from reality though).
I feel like Anita might have been in it but it was maybe a negative
thing. There was some weird romantic thing going on in the be-
ginning. She might have been the one who came back later trying
to keep me from remembering the details of my dream... which
is very odd. Like Anita herself sabotaged my ability to recall
what happened. I remember my father saying very inappropriate
words... something about ‘testicle’, and I kept saying "stop it. Stop
it. Stop it. Stop it." Getting mad at him for repeating himself.
“MASKS AND MEAT”
07/11/2013
I was coughing out all of this shredded meat. Started choking it
up all over the table. A bunch of it came out. Wasn't really chok-
ing on it, but I had anticipated doing so. So when I started to eat
it I had to try to work it back out. It seemed to me like shredded
pork.
After that I walked off and everyone went "Ehhhhh ewww.” And
the guy that was sitting with me asked from across the room
while I was standing in the doorway "Are you going to clean it
off the table?" and I asked "What?" I got upset at him. I had re-
ally been close to this guy but hated that he was drawing atten-
tion to the wrong aspect of the matter. Not really paying heed
to what was disturbing me and that I was having a hard time but
that I had made a mess. He wasn't doing it meanly, though. It was
mostly middle-aged people at the table.
Then I went over to say something to my mother.
"Did you already eat your dinner?" she asked.
I didn't respond and she said "What, did you have a problem?"
"Yeah I had a problem with xxxxxx."
and she responds saying "You eat the biggest part of the meal be-
fore all the others!? You already got to that?"
"No, I eat whatever I want to eat. When I want to eat it. I don’t
save anything for xxxxxx.”
“Well that should have taken you a long time to get to"
379
Then I called her a ridiculous insult, "You are just a..."
Really loud and really funny. Probably profane. Then I turned

down the hall. I talked to the guy and he was acting like the
whole thing before hadn’t happened. And he would be leaving at
like 11 that night. Before I was thinking I wouldn’t have a chance
to see him again. Before he left on a plane with a small child, a
girl, who he went around with (4 years old or something). He
would be taking her to meet a boy she often talked about, be-
cause I knew I would be taking my nap at a specific time so didn't
think I would be able to see him again.
The earlier part of my dream seemed to have a lot to do with mu-

sic. I don’t remember how I met this one guy. Really looked up
to him for some reason. Would meet him late at night and I re-
member there was this one time where we were all at a place like
a casino or gambling place. Some place where we were both gam-
bling. I did something very far out and he couldn't help but be
impressed.
Book of life. He was written in the book of people I should call if

something was the case. I remember driving around with Rubid
in a car. Actually this guy who I looked up to might have been
Rubid all along, but I think he changed into an indistinguishable
person at one point and I learned Rubid was not who he claimed
to be.
Masks. Different colored masks. One covered halfway down the

arms. One covered all the way down to the shoulders. One cov-
ered half the face. Ended up with a small collection and didn't
know how. A guy sneaking around by the window. His face ap-
peared in the window. It was weird because it was against the
ground but we were in the basement. So you could only see a lit-
tle of him (like the Londonberry basement window). He came

demanding we return something to him, seeming hostile.
• “Who's Yeshuda or Bethsuda and from where have they come is

something to be seen?"
I was trying to get to the window and make negotiations, which

my father and I overheard. I went off to get the mask. The two of
them had to talk between microphones even though they were
right next to each other. Strange because we could only see his
feet and he wouldn't bend down for whatever reason. The win-
dow was open. The guy outside was either with his wife or a lit-
tle girl and I really wanted to walk over with a microphone and
make a really loud noise to freak him out just so that he would
say "What's going on in there?!” but I never did. Then I went in-
to my room and looked for masks, tried on the different masks.
I wanted to come out and talk to him without him seeing what
I looked like, ‘cause I wanted to be able to handle the whole sit-
uation myself. I was trying to strategize about the colors and the
cuts. I liked the one that covered half the face. It was purple. The
other one was pink.
There were some big disputes with my mom in this dream. It was
really ridiculous. I remember her getting really drunk and just
acting bumbling bubbly and started ripping her clothes off or
something inappropriate and strange.
“MEDELLA”
07/12/2013
I was holding onto the mannequin, being silly. I was bumping
it back and forth and bumped it too hard. Its face, its hat, its
clothes and its skin just fell off and my sister got really upset, say-
ing “It should at least have skin.” She stopped taking pictures as
soon as this happened and I asked "Why aren’t you taking pic-
tures?"
“I don’t like that it doesn’t have skin.”
There was something weird at the end that made me think she
was going to apologize. The head of the mannequin fell off while
it was dressed as Santa Claus and then I was holding it up in
front of myself so that I looked like Santa Claus with my head
peeking over top of it, and my sister was taking pictures. When
her head fell off her skin came off. And so she called her by a
name, but it wasn't her name, and I was going to say her (the
mannequin’s) name was Medella but I didn't.
In the next room over my relatives were all doing something.

There was a dog that apparently ate men.
I was outside and I had my mattress laying on the very edge of

the road and I was lying there sleeping, and I was going to mas-
turbate right on the edge of the road and I remember people dri-
ving by and I thought "This is weird. I should probably return to
my room." Then I remember hearing the creepiest sounding shrill
scream things and I thought "Oh my god that's creepy, I'm going
inside." and I had no idea what it was. I went inside.
382
So I went inside and I was standing there looking out the win-
dow and saw my dad standing outside and I was looking at him
through the window while he was mowing the lawn. I waited to
get his attention then yelled out "Hey... Can you go get my mat-
tress and my sleeping bags?" since I had left them by the roadside.
He peeked his head through and said "Why can’t you get them?”
"I just heard a noise that freaked me out and I don’t want to go
back out"
I don’t know if it came from the neighbors or not. My sister

showed up and heard me and said "I heard that noise! I was out
here just standing in the yard,” and something about the noise
happened and then this neighbor guy got eaten but she said his
head flew off through the air and landed next to her and that
there was blood all around it. And I said 'did a dog do it? ‘Cause
it sounded like a dog' and she said "Yeah. It was a dog." and so it
freaked me out. It didn’t really sound like a dog, though. It was
so shrill and strange. My dad went to fetch my stuff and he was
trying to let our dog in the house but that little dog followed our
dog back, the dog who killed the other guy, and so it was a very
little puppy, but it was fast and when I opened the door to let
Tokyo in it was trying to get in the house, and I said "Dad, I can’t
believe you did that.”
Then it did enter our house and I can’t remember what it did
then. I remember standing there dipping something. Pill cap-
sules next to a big bowl on the table. Something I felt was poison,
and there was something I was eating right before everyone else
showed up... not like a nut, but it had a fondu-ish cream around
the end and I was eating it quickly and I didn’t want them to
know I was eating it. They were supposedly pills of some sort. I
guess that dog was fine. It was just really annoying.
Tried to get it outside but it was difficult. I said to my sister,

"Do you know that this is a dream?" because we had started talk-
ing about dreams somehow. She said she's dreaming and I said
"No way, I am too" and we talked on and on about how we were
both dreaming at the same time. I remember someone rubbing
my back or my hair in the middle of a schoolroom? Because I
got frustrated at something and so they were trying to calm me
down?
When I thought I was going to wake up I don’t know. They made

a comment about my hair, saying it looked ‘murderous’. Mak-
ing comments based on the idea that I was dreaming too. So she
knew what everything should really look like, “Do you see your
hair? It looks crazy" talking about how it looked more massive
in my dream than it usually does and she laughed. I think that's
why she didn’t freak out because the man’s head flew at her be-
cause she knew she was dreaming. We were out in the grass later
on, staying in the front yard when the neighbors came walking
by. Not really neighbors from reality, but they went walking by.
This was in Londonberry, by the way. They came over to us, and
my dad went and asked them some questions. A couple of boys
just walking around, kind of southern/hick. We still didn’t know
why one of their sons got killed. I never saw the head, but it was
still startling. I just remember that little dog buzzing around for
a while and I was afraid it would chop me up.
I remember something about masturbating downstairs, like in

my real bedroom, (my current one), and I was lying on my mat-
tress for a very long time. I kept going back and forth between
my bedroom and the mailboxes outside. I remember the neigh-
bor girl two houses down getting in her car and coming in my
direction to pass by on her way to something else and I thought
it maybe looked creepy to her. I feel like there was a place where
I wasn’t allowed to talk freely like a church service. Some place

where there was a ceremony going on.
Something about Asia and I dreaming at the same time. I re-

member my dad didn’t understand what we were talking about
when we were discussing how we were both dreaming. I also
think there was a scene earlier where I was in a small backroom
preparing for a party.
“8-TRACK”
07/13/2013
I was working on my 8-track and I thought that I was remaking
a song. It was a blast to be recording again, but for some reason
my mother was present. She came in and I was showing her the
verse. It was really unlike my work, utilizing a very low voice and
not very strange at all, but it sounded great to me. A lot more
monotonous. “I like the way this sounds..."
386
“MY SCENT”
07/13/2013
I kept opening up this grapefruit. I had three grapefruits. I put
my shirt on and then I went outside. (Came inside earlier and
changed my shirt because I didn't want to wear the radical shirt)
I had that shirt on in the end once more, anyway. Everyone really,
really liked the scent I was wearing. It smelled really good. Not
manly at all, but they all wanted it for themselves. V kept offer-
ing different things for it, saying "I'll do anything for it... "
"You sure want a lot for it, don't you.”
I don’t know who the younger girl was, when she appeared she
was in a mask and later towards the end we were all sitting in the
living room and the mom was in there too. I was debating about
whether I should have another grapefruit. I ended up opening
one up but I regretted it because I felt like I was being wasteful
because I had only bought like five or six and had already eaten
two in this hour.
Forget what I was doing in this place. Feel like there was a show
here, like a meeting with more people earlier on. I was going to
do something out on the sidewalk but when I started walking
out I thought I should really have a shirt on. And then I turned
to V’s mom and said "I should probably put a shirt on..." and she
said "Yeah, that would be appreciated, if you're going to be walk-
ing outside." I remember cleaning up the grapefruit juice I spilled
on the table. Not spilled but it overflowed. I was cleaning it with
a sponge that was already on the table. Didn’t seem to be working
right. In the end, how she really wanted that scent of mine, I was
trying to think of what I could ask for in return, but I never did,
387
probably because her mom was around and I was probably go-
ing to ask for something weird. Yeah then I accidentally put that
shirt on the wrong way. Which might have been flipped inside
out earlier. And there was a word me and her kept calling things.
A word with a "ch" "che" "cho——"? About how quaint... how...
little or how strange? It was just a word that sounded like a fash-
ionable term that we both used several times to describe these
things that were really tacky. Then at the end this game came up
on the screen. Old NES.
"What are you doing?"
"I found this.”
It was booting up... on the computer or on my t-shirt? I just re-

member the chiptune music and ridiculous pixel art.
I feel like there were different girls around earlier in the dream.
Like an ex-girlfriend but I deflected her. I'm pretty sure it was
raining in the beginning. I also feel like I took a walk around the
neighborhood. I was really "cool", I don't know why I was but I
just... it's difficult to describe but it was clear that everyone liked
me. I think at one point at the end I was in a large box filled with
packing peanuts. Girl who was small and wore a mask for most
of the time. Toward the end she took off her mask. Being kind
of standoffish at first, but when she took off her mask she acted
differently and you could tell she thought highly of me. She kept
asking me about different things about my ‘scent’. This was on-
ly the very last scene so I’m sure there was other stuff to it... I’m
pretty sure my father was in it at some point.
“PUSH MOTHER OFF LEDGE”
07/14/2013
Shaking me by the shoulders "I'm going to keep shaking you until
I feel like you're listening to what I am saying.”
And at one point I began shaking her by the shoulders similarly,

saying "And I'm going to keep shaking you until you realize you're
standing on the very edge of this platform.”
I heard the spectators saying "Oh man..."
And then I shoved her off, she fell to the bottom and died.
Walked back and sat with the other three or four guys. And they
were freaked out.
"Oh my god... Oh my god... What just happened... Please tell me

this is a dream."
And I looked at him with a hilarious facial expression and voice,

saying "Actually... that's exactly what this is."
And they looked around, one saying "...what? But it doesn't feel
like one."
"You must remember that just because it's a lucid dream doesn't
mean it's YOUR lucid dream."
They looked at me amazed and it was hilarious. I was smiling and

laughing, saying "It’s no big deal. If I want to raise her back from
the dead I can even do that. There's no worries." I stood back up,
walked to the edge of the platform, looking down that she was
just a dead heap twenty-some feet below. And I began shouting
and moving in an exaggerated voice like I was making fun of the
389
scenario, saying "Raise! Raise! Raise from the dead and pray to
GOD!" while doing a weird tribal movement. And her body be-
gan twitching and slowly rose back up. Then she started climb-
ing up and I thought "Oh no..." she had an angry face, moved like
a zombie, and was moving fastly. I then paced to the opposite
end of the platform looking for a ladder, but all that was avail-
able was this strange destroyed ladder that resembled a seashell/
necklace in its material and there were missing pieces to it so it
was more like climbing a rope. But I tried anyway, wanting to
climb to a place that she couldn't climb to. After a minute screw-
ing around on this ladder trying to get a foothold, I looked down
and saw that she was climbing up at the very bottom of this lad-
der, or trying to, and all of my friends were trying to restrain her
or keep her back, and all that I knew was that it looked like she
had something in her hand and I heard a power tool , chainsaw-
like sound. When looking down at her angry face I said "Ooooh.
I'm not even going to wait and see what happens here." and I
pried open my eyes and woke up.
Think there were alot of rockstar like people. grandparents, un-

cle, father and mother. My mother was just acting an utter ass the
entire time, pissing all of us off and berating me with no sensible
reasons. I remember once yelling at her right before I pushed her
trying to tell her that everything she said was completely wrong
and made no sense, and in doing so I said "I've had to put up with
this for 18... for... 21 or 22 years and I am tired of it,” and I heard
my friends laughing nearby because I couldn't remember my age.
I feel like there was something like corpses walking around. I

was trying for hours in my dream to fall asleep in my bed and I
couldn't. Then I got up and went outside and entered the con-
struction-like place where all of the aforementioned scenes hap-
pened. (reorder when retyping). Weird part where I was kissing
someone who I was calling my sister but didn't look like my real
sister.
Something about me standing in the kitchen later on and she

handed me something. “Oh...cool." "You don’t need to return it."
She was saying this because of how she knew how dirty some-
thing in my room or sink was. I don’t remember exactly what it
was. And a scene in a ceiling over a cold food section at a store. I
was hanging around in the ceiling before I came down and went
to bed. I don’t remember what I was doing.
There was another girl in the beginning. Don't know who it was.
It could have possibly been Anita. Vinyl record? Guys marveling
at the fact that I’m dreaming. They asked me a few questions
about it. All excited. Londonberry driveway for a while or front
yard. I don’t remember but was acting really strange. Maybe this
is the part with my sister?
“SWAMP FOOD”
07/14/2013
"All you're doing is lying there talking about how you can't do
what your alarm clock is doing."
Sitting there eating food with my immediate family and grand-

parents at a table while they were putting food on the plate, and
Magnetic by Earth Wind and Fire started playing. A bunch of
special cakes and foods. Weird things we did for food. There was
something about alligators and I was talking about hating some-
thing about the alligators who appeared in the second round
compared to the ones in the fifth round because in the second
round they were just... There was something different about
them. They weren’t fighting with each other, they were just
crawling around creepily, but I was trying to eat my food, and my
sister, on the other side of the really thin accordion like door/
wall was yelling "Dad. Did you give him the different cake?"
and she would not receive an answer, and then she would yell it
again.
This had to do with me getting an angel food cake on special or-

der or something though everyone else got a different cake but
they all got the same one.
So I opened the side door and yelled "SHUT UP"
And she asked "What are you doing over here?"
“I'm eating over here."
"Yeah, well, what it looks like to me is that you're lying on your

bed not doing what your alarm clock is trying to tell you to do."
392
And then I thought "Damn it"
And I woke up to find my alarm clock had been going on for over
an hour at this point... which is exceptionally rare.
Me, family and grandparents went out to a swamp. Very strange

indoor-like swamp, drifting across. There were just really strange
animals crawling in and out of the swamp. Freaked me out. I was
having to go across it and I was pulling animals out of it and eat-
ing them. I also had something with me... something like a spe-
cial item. Creepy mud swamp. Sharp nose crocodiles
#2 and #5
6 steps in total. 6 different animal related tasks. I just remember

sitting on the edge of a mud bank and there was just the creepiest
thing ever swimming in front of me.
Going in a certain order with which they served food. My grand-

mother was serving it. Someone was talking to me and I didn’t
hear what they were saying. My dad said "He doesn't hear you.
He's listening to the song.” (Magnetic)
“ROCKY’S VIOLENCE”
07/15/2013
• “I can't believe you bit the tornado. I can't believe you bit the ched-
dar. I can't believe you bit the tornado. I can't believe you bit the
cheddar. I can't believe you bit the meat."
• It was a popsicle. I got it at the hardware store, and I ate it, but
you were supposed to eat it. And then we walked by the cheddar
balls and I said "Can’t this be used as an example of something that
looks disgusting but actually has a really... interesting idea behind
it that makes you not only interested in the thing you thought was
not interesting but cool, but goes on to inspire you into wondering
what else exists?"
I had a large piece of meat in a hard plastic thing over my head.
I just remember lying on his couch in his basement. His fiancée

invited me over to resolve the situation because she didn’t under-
stand it (referring to Rocky and I and our falling out in 2010).
She and I were talking. I didn't think he was there, but he woke
up and came through the door. He appeared very angry and
put me through about four traps that were extremely painful
and seemed illegal and I was sent screaming and crying from his
house. His fiancée didn’t like how me and him had a problem be-
tween us in the last visit so she invited me over. He was in the
next, back room sweeping in the basement and he shows up and
I see him. I popped up from the couch and he had a look on his
face "Why are you here...” He acted like I came here and was a
danger to his fiancée, which was bizarre on its own, though I was
invited by her and was here to resolve the matter. So he starts cor-
nering me and she tries to get him to stop and he just keeps push-
394
ing me in a creepy casual disturbing manner, because I was acting

like a really naive, kind kid. Every time he would pull out a creepy
tool or something I would act very naive, "Hey! That's cool like
I didn't know what he was doing and that he wasn’t hurting me,
but he was.
There was something about me falling flat on the ground. There

was something about him throwing something against my face.
It just felt like he was throwing all these traps at me while I
walked around in this strange basement. Tools, hardware, chairs,
couches, things hanging everywhere. Work benches. A large wall
covered with books or something really cool that I stared at for a
while before he showed up.
I don’t remember what happened on our first visit when I went

over to his house. I just remember being chased by him. It was
very heartless and it was very strange. I remember listening to
some of the music he and I used to listen to together. Some kind
of prog rock he used to like to listen to playing in the back-
ground.
I was just talking to his fiancée for a while in the morning and all
seemed fine and she knew that nothing weird was going on. She
said “I don’t understand what it is between you two,” and I don’t
know. It was just the fact that he wasn’t asking any questions if he
had problems. Lot of little details that I am forgetting.
I had to wear that plastic thing over my face like a mask. It must
be because I hurt myself while I was running from him and it was
weird. I kept acting like there was no problem, like a kid, but he
was treating me like a killer and he wouldn’t listen to his fiancée
when she said she had invited me here. It was just a very shocking
scenario and totally unwarranted.
There was something with my dad, too, at an earlier time proba-

bly.
At the end of the dream when I was walking through the store
there were three people. Me, him and someone else at the gas sta-
tion/sheetz. I was still acting like a kid, and kind, but he only
stopped being aggressive because of the other guy we were with,
like a job they had to get done. He still had his quiet composure
the whole time, but his face was all stretched out with anger and
it was striking since I had never seen him like that before, but he
kept following me with a utensil in his hand.
There was a trap that was so obvious (and so horrific) that I saw
it coming from afar, and when it finally happened I was just
screaming. I think it destroyed my face.
I got the impression of a big cave-in and I managed to be the one

that saved myself and got out? (maybe never happened...)
• “Everybody’s dreaming about this today. Everybody’s dreaming

about the ocean.”
• I must be hallucinating. I see a weird looking horse hiding some-

thing behind it and I can’t see what’s on the other side from the an-
gle I am watching it from, but something said something about how
everybody’s hiding behind something. I'm still looking at it... It's like
a horse. It has all these little official symbols around it, not make it
just some sort of hokey hallucination, make it look like something
that was given to you by the government, or some mystic tarot card
kind of thing with all those symbols all over it, and every time I look
at it I hear “Please, please tell me now, please, please tell me now” by
Duran Duran.
• Something about Jesus climbing out of this pit and then this guy
says "I just did all of this. What CAN’T I do?" and Jesus says "You
can't... "
“AFV”
07/15/2013
I was black and then I was a woman.
398
“A DANCER AT MY WINDOW”
07/16/2013
There was a woman dancing at my window as I was attempting
to fall asleep. I was on vacation with my family and I had to leave
dinner and come back to the room because it was time to nap
or otherwise I would be completely screwed up. I spent a while
looking for a white noise and bee buzz generator on the comput-
er. I couldn't find it since it was an unfamiliar computer. Jeiezza
was in the bed with me and we were talking when I saw a shad-
ow on the window blinds. It made me feel strange, but I kept
watching. It wasn't immodest or anything, but it was clearly sen-
sual. Then my parents were being really loud. They pulled up the
blinds and yelled.
When I first told them I was going to take mental time. I was
sitting across the table / restaurant fine dining? eye peeking
through blind when the other person was doing their dance.
When I was writing recounting my dream within the actual

dream I said "All that spinach paid off " or something like that.
This may have been the first dream I had of this ex-girlfriend in
many many years where it seemed like we were on fine terms. We
were hanging out at someone's house or her house. We were just
lying there in bed or on a couch for a very long time.
Something about running around lighting my cigarettes. Some-

thing about bugs. Something about the store. A hotel. In the be-
ginning I was lying in a bed. There was an old girlfriend. There
was my uncle with someone I thought was my aunt but she was
not my real aunt. I did something in the middle of the dream
399
that I feel is very strange and very magical. But I remember sit-
ting on a computer in the middle of the dream, typing out all the
details of what happened in my dream so far so that I would re-
member them later, and I remember typing out exact quotes, and
I said "Whoa, I use some big words in my dream," and pointed to
the screen to a specific word that I believe started with an E, and
the both of us laughed at it. I don’t know what went wrong but I
can't remember any of what I mentioned.
Something to do with music, and I was explaining something

about my music to someone. I don’t know what specifically
though
Asking Jeiezza if she knew how to find certain programs like the
Media Player or other things on the dream computer.
I remember being on top of a girl on a couch while we were

kissing. And I always knew when someone would show up at
the door. And I had insane, crazy reflexes. They were amazing, I
would suddenly spring up and appear over at the other end of the
couch. So that we were not intimate when the people showed up.
She and I had a very long conversation that I feel was very im-
portant. Something to do with my waking life, like how to solve
a specific problem.
Girl was dancing in front of my hotel room window. And knew

my family was not too far off so it was weird. I know we would
both be in trouble or laughed at or something if they showed
up while she was there. She just kept doing it, and it was a
very strange erotic dance. Like a shadow dance. Then my family
showed up and they were talking very very loudly. And that's
when I yelled "What part of nap time do you not understand?" I
remember sitting with the mall and explaining why I was the way
I was, in a certain regard, and why I did the things I did.
A REALLY crazy dream. Deep, but REALLY bad recall.

“QUAIRO MAN”
07/17/2013
Listening to a song called "Cairo Man" or spelled Qairo Man" (I
can still remember the tune of it). I have no idea what he was say-
ing. I woke up ‘cause I was having extreme problems with blow-
ing my nose and I realized it probably wasn’t as bad in waking
life so I just woke myself up purposely so that I could breathe
through my nose again. My dad was collecting leaves in the yard
and had made like a ten foot pile. But in the end I was in the
bathroom. Looking for songs to put on my cover autobiography
album and I saw this song name and never saw the song before.
• Just heard the screeching sound of a door opening.
Something in the beginning of this dream might have had to do

with NN, but I'm pretty sure I didn't see her so I might have just
been talking or thinking about her. Nose got stuffed up in the
bathroom. Don’t know how. Don’t know if it was from crying
or just natural, but the more I blew the worse it got and eventu-
ally my forehead and sinuses started expanding and swelling in-
to extreme contortions. Literally felt like it was going to explode
from the terrible pressure. Something about building homes for
homeless children? I don’t know. There might have been one
other place in this dream.
402
“DOOR SLAM”
07/17/2013
Wouldn’t open the door even though my dad was knocking. He
kept asking if I would do something, but I wouldn't open the
door ‘cause I was sleeping, so then I roused and went to it and
started opening the door. He considered it disrespectful, then
when I got behind the door he started slamming it in and out
against my head, which was between the wall and door and its
pain was so severe. And then I remember wanting to smack him
with the door also and to pull his head off of his body and throw
it away out the window but I'm pretty sure I only thought about
it and was never given an opening. Then my mom freaked out at
me and I don’t know what I did and she started banging my head
against the wall similarly.
I was filling all these things with water—a science experiment in

a science lab. This dark skinned guy was taking questions from
two guys.
"Do you know what these mean?"
"No. But that's what they want you to think."
Very few people actually know otherwise, unfortunatelyZ It had

a deeper meaning than it seemed at first. Very large lab with
beakers and things everywhere. Light blue in color. Going to all
these different machines. There was a water bottle in the middle
of some other contraptions and I was emptying it out and using
the water for something else, but for what I can't remember. I was
powering this weird machine but didn't... Think there was some
weird political stuff going on
403
• Someone said "Get this guy a shirt. This guys not wearing a shirt"
• “Texas school children, and they were playing?"

“COMPUTER JUNKYARD”
07/18/2013
Walking over at the end of the dream toward the gate. Then
there was this / something was going on with computers. We
were having to switch our computers out, and I was testing out
Asia’s new stuff on a different TV? because she was getting some
of her own soon? I was trying to get on the computer for SS time
but it was already way too late.
I saw the neighbor walking to the left of me at the end, on the

back deck.
There was a fight going on. I went down the stairs and all of our
stuff... we were moving. Everything downstairs... it was all this
stuff in my way. There was something really strange that hap-
pened middream, like I was somewhere else completely differ-
ent (right before I was coming down the stairs and it was cov-
ered with luggage and furniture) and I was writing down dif-
ferent things. I was making songs and I might have been writ-
ing my dream. I was writing a long letter to someone, but there
was something really strange about it, like in a dream in a dream.
Mother and father betrayed me.
My new computer got fixed up on Londonberry. Stuff I was us-

ing before still came on the screen and wordpad wouldn’t open. I
was trying to get the computer for a very strange reason and be-
fore that I was ... I remember walking around in the middle of
the night in public in really dark streets like through the forest. I
stumbled across this weird community in a junkyard and I woke
up in a really strange house with really small people.
405
I don’t know who I was talking to online. There was a weird guy...
maybe a weird girl. I think that I was afraid of my father finding
something I had left lying around.
Little village of people and something strange happened because

my presence had maybe something to do with the end of the
world. Standing on my deck in New Jersey. Something having
to do about Jesus and something having to do about the future.
Something about being in a ceiling and some people coming to
get me.
“FLY PADDLES”
07/18/2013
These things are like fly swatters with faces on the end of them
or something like a clown where you push them through the wall
and a chart on the wall for how to do it. Me and a woman were
left alone in the room. I don't know why there were these two ag-
gressive guys and they had to leave to do something for a short
while. So it was a good thing we were alone. We had been cooped
up in this room for a long time and there was just like a televi-
sion, not many other things. A little food.
We were all working. They were not nice people. It seemed this
game was made by them and their father. It wasn't very good.
There were slat-like slits cut into the wall and a way to score how
good you’ve done, so I went over there and started putting them
through the wall and the last of the three was giving me a dif-
ficult time. It wasn't going in straight, or wasn't going in all the
way. You had to stop at the perfect time inside the crack. I was
being careful but kept going too far to the left.
I was sitting beside a curtain, and this curtain would open up re-
vealing a small area after I beat the game, and I could see slightly
beyond the curtain. She and I would get a larger part of the room
and it would be nice—even if for no other reason. There was a
bottle of water and she was really glad to have found out. Some-
thing was really special about it because we hadn't had water in a
while. She was drinking it and splashing it on her face and I told
her I could wash or scrub her body with it if she wanted and she
looked down for a moment, and then said "Okay."
“Really?" I did not expect that she would say yes.

407
Then I had to turn my head because I had a really stupid smile

on my face and I didn't want her to see that I was smiling. I tried
to act like this was just normal, but then I got distracted by the
game and never did this.
I don’t know where those two guys went, but they never returned
before I awoke. It was a weird place. Everyone was getting in
trouble. I don't know what it was all about. I'm picturing stores,
or weird little Chinese food restaurants. I remember sitting with
someone... filming something?
It was a fascinating dream but I’ve forgotten the main parts. I

feel like there was a fair going on outside. I remember walking
outside in the daylight. None of my usual symbols were present.
I think those guys would have gotten mad when they returned
to see I was playing with the game. I played it a day earlier and I
don’t think they were happy about it. They knew we were trying
to escape. I sent them out through the back door because I was
trying to help the girl out. Oriental mazes. I don't remember why
the guys were bad guys. We were in a little backroom. It wasn't
too big, but it wasn't bad.
The dad. This was his game. I knew they would say "Why are you
playing our dad's game?" I really wanted to help her out. And I
thought this would help us escape. I remember something about
a female teacher of mine—likely in her thirties. She was upset at
me about something and confronted me in a hallway by an ele-
vator.
I stayed overnight at this small inn. There was a little bar. These
might all be wrong... these are just impressions. Some ill-inten-
tion men were congregating in a back room but it was pretty big
inside. The father of these two guys who were our age. Mean peo-
ple. Keeping us there (me and this girl). The dad, this was his
game. They would be mad when they came back saying "Why
are you playing our dads game?" I really wanted to give her more
room. This might have been the first part of the dream where I
had seen her. There was something about old music playing. I can
remember a lady getting mad at me. Walking through a hallway
to an elevator. Someone I think was my teacher. I think she was
supposed to be. She was upset at something... probably in her
thirties. She didn't know if she could trust me with what we were
doing or she could but was upset that I wasn't putting enough ef-
fort in. Walking outside through a big hall, looking through win-
dows. The place I saw the teacher was pretty fancy, like the floor
on top of the hotel. Red walls, elevators. Passing by suspicious
people in the halls and I was taking the elevator down and I was
with someone doing these little errands. I was building some-
thing. Someone there was sick... dying. I don’t think it was me.
They were coughing a whole lot.
I spent a while sitting at some low table in a Chinese restaurant

talking with someone or it might have just been a room I was
walking through.
Hick neighbors outside, the husband and wife. I don’t know

what they were doing, but they were keeping me some place
and they were not talking much. I recognized them and A really
strange underlying plot but can’t remember.
“GLITCHES IN TIME”
07/18/2013
Now in this world we had returned but there were glitches in
time. Time had stopped and we were hitting the pause screen.
There was a new thing there and I freaked out because I saw it
there and I clicked on it but there was something wrong with
it. It implied that something was really glitchy. Artifacts all
throughout space because someone did something really screwy.
And so me and all these people returned to where we were be-
fore. It was a really strange place. Very large world/cavern. Really
long bridge you had to cross to get over to the other side. There
were alot of upsetting looking things. A lot of things here that
looked like throats or necks or tongues. A lot of things relating
to the mouth. Some of them wouldn't catch themselves on time,
but some would realize fast enough what they weren't supposed
to say. Some were like "Whoa, that looks like five people's...
mouths... really... close together." But some people would just go
all out, like these giant statues that were around the area where
we launched from
Earlier on I was in a video rental place. The weirdness of Dr.

Seuss kind of stuff. Going back and forth between the two
places—me and a group of other people (mostly family, but oth-
ers too). The artifacts that I referred to were weird invisible
glitches in the air in front of us. It looked like there was some-
thing there, like a small displacement. You can tell there was
something in front of you. There were all these creatures there,
they were all over the place.
410
Something about mine carts. Maybe something religious, like

maybe we were in the upstairs of a church building at one point.
At least I was. A little kid or several little kids in a daycare?
Pause screen. I brought up some little screen in my hand and

there was this icon where was this woman's face and she was try-
ing to transmit a message, but she was saying something like what
I was trying to do would no longer be sufficient or work.
I remember being chased around the church parking lot and

something around the dollar theater area. I remember running
down the hill at the church parking lot and there was this little
thing following after me. I ran outside and I was standing there
waiting. I had stolen something and this lady was after it and
right when I got to the lobby I threw it on the floor and ran out
the door and then the lady was surprised that I put it there and
followed me out the door and she ran out and said "Why would
you do that?”
"Because I'm trying to lure you out here. I’m trying to talk to
you.”
Then I was speaking to this lady—supposedly someone I had

known. I think I was a lot older, and she was supposed to be my
ex-wife. We were walking through the parking lot and all these
strange things began coming at us. This twelve-inch-tall sprite
that was shooting water and causing storms came at us as we were
climbing down the hill, and there was something rolling down
the hill at us. I tried to get out of the way so I would not get hit.
It wasn’t exercising much discretion. I'm not sure it was me she
was after. I was picking something up and putting it in a different
place. Something strange and strategic going on, but I remember
hanging out at the Dollar Theater area, like around Cici’s Pizza.
I remember walking by and staring through one of the shop win-

dows. It seemed really ghostly and strange, perhaps run-down.
“ROLLERBLADES”
07/19/2013
Something about psychology. My being interested in the psy-
chology of... who was it? Walking through a supermarket, I was
interested in the psychology of someone. I was walking only on
the left side and not the right side. I was running through the
aisles. The left side of the store in the egg section. The egg sec-
tion. I passed a guy I thought was kind of weird. That’s pretty
much all there was to that guy. There was someone's mother...
or father. They believed in some kind of psychology that I was
maybe indifferent to. Some kind of weird thing that had to do
with. There were a couple of the same people I was meeting over
and over again at different parts of the store. There was a girl.
There's always a girl. Feel like I had a reunion with someone. Felt
like I took a red rose to them. I was on rollerblades over by the
deli, and I remember there were wet floors and the people were
staring at me. Me and someone were building something. A big
building. Some building or fortress was being created. Maybe on
the outside. Maybe on the inside. My dad would let me get any
one food item I wanted to get, and I was like "ALRIGHT!" but
I feel like this was a cover up for something else.
There was a house we built, and sometimes I couldn't show up to

it when we met and sometimes she couldn't show up to it when
we met. When I was on rollerblades I was racing to get to the
other end of the store. There were a bunch of people standing
there. Hazard signs and a wet floor. Really hoping they wouldn't
stop me. When I came to the edge of the turn I fell on pur-
pose and then regained my composure. I fell on purpose so that
I could somehow do something better than before. I got myself
413
right back up immediately. Holding hands with a girl. Then I let

go of her hand for just a moment so that I could take it again but
with a better, firmer grip.
There were some kinds of animals there. Apes. Little pink apes.
Can't think of what else it could have possibly been. There was
a part where I was standing in the aisle looking for something
very specific. I remember people giving me weird looks. There
was one time when I think I was in the middle of the store. Like
nearby the electronics.
“MOTHER ON THE ROOFTOP”
07/20/2013
Something was wrong with my eye. My teeth, as well. I had to

walk around holding my eye and mouth. I forget what occurred,
but I had to ask my father for help. “Can you come here?" I asked
him. My mom then began yelling "You don’t deserve this. It's my
time with him.” And that’s when I went off "You've got the fuck-
ing nerve?" I definitely used the word ‘fuck’ in front of my grand-
parents and it was loud and dramatic.
These were two different fights, though. I feel like there was
something to do with little people. It was New Years. I was stand-
ing in the kitchen. When the first scene happened—not the final
scene with the college students—I remember hearing fireworks
shooting off and I thought to myself how I just wanted to sit here
and watch the fireworks shooting off and just appreciate it fully.
I feel like there was someone with whom I had a really long deep
conversation. I feel like it might have been a girl. I had to walk
around holding my eye ‘cause I thought it would fall out. It hurt
so badly.
“Obesity could have been prevented but it wasn't. She could have
worked it off but she didn't.” I was yelling this as I was walking by
my mother, who was up on the rooftop screaming.
"I hope this is the year you have your last breath!" We were shout-
ing back and forth, but I was really trying to keep it together. “I
hope all of this stuff finally kills you.”
415
It was the cruelest fight. My father was standing in the middle of

us and didn’t know what to do. I lost two teeth at once. I got sent
two envelopes in the mail, thinking "Wait, what are these for?"
This is before I lost them and then I put my finger to my mouth
and realized two teeth were loose and I didn’t even know it.
Then I remember Asia was "I (?) sometimes but sometimes I

didn't.” Right near the end I asked “Where Asia?” and I made
a joke, something about her "(?) around everywhere" my mom
was talking about "Asia's nice. She'll give you a hug just like she'll
give a hug to everybody else!" and I forget, she was being totally
serious. Yeah, it was like a festival going on. She was screaming
things from the rooftop at the end. I don’t know if she was stuck
up there.
"I hope you die of heart disease. I hope you die of obesity. You
could have prevented it but you didn't. She could have gotten
rid of it but she wouldn’t. You could have eaten right but you
wouldn’t."
And I couldn't even see her walking around on the rooftop any-
more because she maybe became frustrated. It was New Years. “I
hope this year finally takes you,” she said. She was on the roof and
I was by a picnic table. It didn't start off as a fight right away, but
she heard something simple that she didn't like and it escalated
fast.
• There were all these girls cheering in my head, yelling "Ahhh!

Love you! Love You!" I don't know why they're saying it. It's so high
and shrill and annoying in that way that girls are annoying.
I do remember that my grandparents brought over their dog, but

it was a dog that's been dead for the last half-decade (Buffy). I
don’t remember, but I was lying on the ground and Buffy came
over and started doing something weird and my mom was mak-
ing an issue out of it. There was this one room where I know
there were these guys I was talking to and they were my age.
I think in the very beginning of the dream I was locked up or

shut in my room.
“HAY RIDE AND FEMALE SELF”
*
07/21/2013
(Yet to be transcribed)
418
“SUPERDIMENSIONAL WELL” *
07/22/2013
419
“UNCOLORABLE” *
07/23/2013
420
“SKELETON DANCE” *
07/23/2013
421
“OUT OF GAS”
07/24/2013
I was driving, went for a drive and couldn't get back home. I kept
trying to wake up at the end of the dream and actually thought I
got up and started talking, kept thinking should I wake up, went
outside and was talking about the doctor (Actually I don't know
what I’m talking about a doctor). But I thought I woke up. At
the end of the dream I asked the lady who worked at this place
"Is everyone gone?”
“Yes everyone is gone."
Strangest little gas station kind of place. There was that little girl
who was saying weird stuff. I was sitting on the computer and
couldn't get into Gmail. Sitting there trying to type, typing pad
for a while. I remember the other guy looking like he was trying
to help me do it. I wrote something that looked like a will.They
had some type of food they were passing out at the place like
brownies and I accidentally got brownies all over the touchpad,
that guy didn't like me at first but then he started liking me. Mak-
ing mean faces. Threw a peanut at me. He was sitting there with
his daughter and made a scowl at me and after a minute goes
on he picks up a peanut, looks like he's about to eat it but then
decides to throw it at my face. And jumped up out of my seat,
picked it back up, looking like I was about to throw it, and said
"OH?" and then looked down and picked up something huge, I
can't remember what, and looked like I would hit him with that
instead, and that's when the woman working behind the counter
came over and said "oh no no no, we’re going to have to call
422
someone to get " "Noo... I was just doing it because he just did
the same exact thing." and then she's looking at him "I was just
doing this because he was doing it" and then she scowled and had
a talk with him about his conduct. Then I started explaining to
him afterwards, "Things I know but things I don't know" ? But
I ran out of gas... that's what it was, I was driving in my car in
the beginning and ran out of gas... "I remember, I was reading
in the passenger seat while the car was driving unmanned, but
I knew that I was driving it, so it was weird, and so I kept feel-
ing strange when people would drive by because they would look
over and see that no one was in the driver's seat ad I was in the
passenger's seat reading a book. I Figured they would freak out,
and they probably would, because that would be pretty freaky,
and so I would duck down when passing by, which apparently
was supposed to freak them out less that there was no one visible
in the car at all? So I'm driving down the road, and I'm like "This
is easy!" and then the car just dies but I remember standing on
the side of the road. I remember having a bunch of money falling
and flying all over the place, in holes and ditches outside. I came
back out later on, and a guy pulled up behind me and I was wor-
ried about it because he looked a bit rough, but nothing bad hap-
pened. But that lady was being nice to me the whole time. She
tried to kiss me, that's right... That was terrible. This lady, who
was not attractive remotely, kept trying to kiss me, and she was
coming at me from the side of my face, and it was creepy, because
I could feel her lips on the very side of my lips, not the front,
but it was terrible, and I thought "Please no please no." But even-
tually, knowing that I was dreaming, I decided to close my eyes
when she was coming to kiss me forwardly, to return the kiss, and
if I imagined Anita's image in my mind that this woman would
turn into Anita, so I did this, and I can remember seeing Ani-
ta’s face clearly within my "closed eyes'' but then when I opened
them again it was still the lady and I was mortified. So I pret-
ty much kissed this weird lady for no reason. I remember asking
that guy in the station about his age. I think his daughter was 7.
The guy said he was about 45. And when he wasn’t warming up
to me I said "My dad is 50." but at first I got it wrong, saying both
48 and 49. And I said "You see?" and I was trying to make it clear
that I'm not just this big, unruly guy, making the point that I'm
"Just like his own child"(I thought this made sense in compar-
ing us). His own daughter was really funny, having said the most
ridiculously childish things. I forget what she was doing but she
was showing me all these funny things and I was trying to help
her with something she was creating on the computer next to me
while I was typing, and I just remember sitting there staring at
her with a huge smile and speaking in a gentle way, and that’s
why he acted all mean and suspicious to me when he came over,
not understanding why this complete stranger and his daugh-
ter were having a really fun conversation. But I was helping her
figure something out. I was asking different questions and she
was telling me... There was something about an animal... Some-
thing that had to do with... probably a dog. Think she was talk-
ing about how much she loves dogs and I did not want to say
anything because I didn't want to sound all opposed. I never got
back home. I spent the entire dream trying to do these things just
so I could call/write to my parents and tell them I ran out of gas...
It makes little sense, because it sure seems like I spent the entire
dream in a gas station.
At the end I asked the woman "When are you going home?"
And she said "I’m going home after dinner.”
"Oh, do you mean tomorrow?"
“No, I mean tonight."

"What are you doing after dinner?"
I asked because I was trying to get a ride home, and I wanted

to know if she could take me home. I was on my way to ask the
other guy with the daughter if he could take me home but he
had already left. I don’t remember where I would have been that
I must have left their sight, don’t remember what I was doing,
maybe the money stuff outside. But now it was just the lady who
worked there. I don’t know why she took a liking to me, but I
know how I just used to get along at random with these people
that worked in the gas stations so maybe it has to do with that.
I remember the will I was writing... it wasn’t exactly a will, but I
remember signing my name in big letters on the top, TENDON
LEVEY and the person was like "Oh, that's your name?" or some-
thing like that. I was writing down all these things... It looked al-
most like a diploma, set up in a strange way. I think this was also
a log-in to my email account. Like I remember at first I was upset
that my email account hadn’t been working all day, and when I
first told the dad about my problem and saw him at the side of
my eyes pick up his phone and start looking... thinking he was
maybe trying to access it on there for me to use it, but it looked
like gmail started working on my computer, "Ahhh, it works I
think. This is the furthest it’s gotten all day." and so he put his
phone away and never told me what he was doing but I saw him
doing it secretly. So he put it down when he thought I Had it.
We were still kind of on weird terms. He thought me admirable
in some ways but I was still a stranger to him... One whom his
little daughter liked, no less.
This girl and her project, she was asking me about different
things I’ve done. "Yeah, I've done that!" and she was really im-
pressed by something that I did and I don’t remember what it
was but "She was totally impressed but it didn't matter because
she was a little girl."
I remember when the car first stopped and I got out and yelled
"WHAT!" and I was looking through the trunk. And people
kept speeding by and it was not a good place on the road. So
I went walking and found this station. It wasn't too far. I re-
member going in to the counter and saying "Yeah... my car broke
down..." and I forget how the lady responded, but I was just
telling her this "So I'll just sit around here for a little while... until
I can get in touch with my parents."
• Heard a doorbell.
I was supposed to be twenty at the time of the dream. Seems

like his daughter from the looks of it would be younger than sev-
en, more like four or five, but who knows. My trunk was filled
with ‘who-the-hell-knows-what’. Other people looking over my
shoulder while I was writing my stuff down.
“VIRGIN SACRIFICE”
07/25/2013
• Guy walking down the hall of an upper story of a hotel. And he
saw his dad and didn't know his dad was still there. But his dad
was supposed to be there ‘cause his brother was looking for him. The
guy’s brother, the dad's son. And then he says "Ahhh, thank God."
but the dad's on the phone, and so the dad walks towards and into
his hotel room and then the other guy follows after him and right
when the dad goes to close the door, not knowing one of his adult
sons are following him, the son waits a few seconds for the door to
almost close (because the dad did not close it all the way manually
but gave it push and then walked further into his room) and then
the son sticks his foot like a wedge into the doorway so it doesn't close.
The dad doesn't seem to notice and so he sneaks in. "I don't know
what's up with that."
I attended a school, and I don’t think I knew anybody there.

Florentin and I may have been sitting together at a table at one
point.
I met this girl. I didn't know her previously, and there was an in-
troductory dinner about a week into our semester. She happened
to sit next to me. She looked cute. Someone got picked on, al-
though I can’t remember if it was me or her being picked on.
Something happened, something concerning her best friend. I
know it was really important. Eventually we ended up back at her
house, and we ended up on her bed, a really high place and real-
ly dark. For some reason it felt the two of us were outcasts. We
laid in bed for a really long time. It was an enjoyable experience.
No physical contact that I can remember. Just talked all night,
cracking up with laughter at a lot of things. There was some huge
427
part concerning her friend but I cannot remember it. She had a
female friend who... disappeared? Got hurt? I don't know. Con-
struction work/vehicles? I kept asking her a question at the end
and it kept making her blush saying "Nooooo," with a little laugh
and I kept trying to get it out of her, like asking something about
special abilities, and she was looking down while she answered
and I thought it was cute at the time.
We conversed for a long time. She spoke about magick. She

heard that I was a magician.
“Have you seen demons?" "Does your demon have something to

do with gems?"
"I've seen two or heard of two walking around in this area late at
night recently."
"No, I only know the one."
She then took my head into her hands and her whole face
changed and became ugly, while she continued to describe the
demon. It turns out that she was describing herself, and it was
terrifying. She continued to grip my head, and I jumped up out
of the bed, but as I did so she grabbed onto my neck with her fin-
gers and nails, saying something about virgin sacrifice. I tried to
fool her "Oh no, I'm not like you think I am. I don't know what
you've heard,” and I tried to tell her all sorts of things, but she
was saying that everyone around here knew me and my obsession
with purity and with virginity. She didn't believe me and knew I
was lying and stabbed me through the lungs when I ran over into
the center of the bedroom. I immediately started trying to open
my eyelids, but I felt I had nothing to push/kick off of. I woke up
inside my dream. Jumped off my bed and onto my floor. There
was music playing through my television and I lowered the vol-
ume afraid it would hamper my recall and laid there recording

the contents, thinking "Wow I have a really good recall today.”
But then I really woke up. It was a hideously detailed dream, so
in depth. Surely the closest I've had to a nightmare in many years.
“TORTILLA CHIPS”
07/26/2013
Walking around eating tortilla chips in the living room (at old
house?) We (who?) were putting them in the sink and pouring
water on them. Then there came a woman who had nothing to
do with what we were doing who came and started flipping out
that she was "afraid she couldn't kiss another employee's corpse.”
430
“THE WAREHOUSE” *
07/27/2013
431
“FAILED CSESVAME” *
07/27/2013
07/27/2013
432
“COCKPIT” *
07/27/2013
433
“JESTER IN THE SNOW”
07/28/2013
Sitting in a place with all the church youth group. It was a big
expo. There was Stephanie, Alex, Jennifer and a bunch of others,
and I remember I had been sitting there, left, then came back and
all the seats were taken and I got mad at the ones who were mar-
ried having expected that they would stand for me.
Alex with a black jester hat in the snow. I was walking around the
store saying "Myrrh..." and he thought it was perverted for no re-
al reason.
Kept going to this one guy's trailer who wore a mask. A young
girl in a toy bedroom?
Asia and her Korean friends. My parents and I were talking

about how everything she's done is because of them; what she
eats, what she says, dezinezinet. They got a hold of her and
changed her completely.
434
“HONEY CIGARETTES”
07/28/2013
Standing in a small shop with a girl who was dressed in dark

clothes. She wasn't able to buy cigarettes due to her age and was
standing at my side while we looked at all of the cigarettes on
the wall. She wanted two packs, one of "Blue Mint" and one of
"Honey" and she wanted to purchase them to put them on her
mother's grave. I remember thinking that the honey one sound-
ed really good. We were waiting for the clock to change to what
as maybe 11 at night, because then the rules changed and she
would be able to buy cigarettes, but I was thinking how sense-
less that was, since I could just pick them up for her, though I
preferred that she would walk out of the store for me to do that,
what with her being a minor and all. But that never happened,
and I woke up instead.
Immediately before this scene I had been walking around with

Florentin and maybe with some other guy but I cannot remem-
ber any details from this.
A
435
“SURVEILLANCE CULT”
07/28/2013
Everyone kept getting in trouble and we were all part of some

cult, and I remember saying "Everything I do seems to bother
and disturb them at first but then they end up loving it." That re-
ally paranoid guy who was always walking back and forth. That
guy standing at the window.
"Is there something wrong?"
"Yeah, this woman and her car are in the line right now... for the
entryway. She said that she would come back in."
"When did she say she would come back in?"
“In the beginning."
I was thinking to say "In the beginning of... this year?" because
his response was so vague, but I don't believe I even responded.
And I don't know who this woman was to him, but he was just so
stressed. He was looking outside of these windows. I remember
seeing (?). I remember thinking I could paint the window, and
when I touched the window they got painted, and the guy kept
staring at them and I was wondering if he was exaggerating, and I
kept wondering the difference between him and a paranoid per-
son after listening to him speak for a while. My mom and sister
were there but no one else that I knew personally. I remember
my sister getting in a big deal of trouble because she did not walk
across a very specific platform upon her return to the building.
436
She was gone for a while and there was a path to take in accessing
the top of the building. It was kind of elevated and snaky, a sort
of bridge you had to walk, and in order to pass you had to walk
it with these things tied to your hands or feet, and she failed in
doing it, so she came in and got scolded. I think she was going to
be fired and I felt bad for her, because I had just become a ‘full
member’.
Grandfather was there. The guy was a really nice guy. There was
another woman there. There was a scene that looked like a Frasier
scene. A woman was on the staircase, below the rails but above
the stairs in like fancy room, and I saw a big fight going on,
and at first I only saw a small, quick snapshot of the fight, but
then I saw more of it, because the woman was refusing to move,
and she hung something up for the holiday season or something,
and they were all saying "that is not acceptable" and getting mad.
There was something having to do with a dog... I'm pretty sure of
it. There were all of these rituals and things, and I remember be-
ing outside with these guys.
Going for walks. I remember pulling some young woman aside

and kissing her in my house. She had come down to check on
something I was doing downstairs and I pulled her in really fast
and started kissing her and the other people got mad because she
wasn't doing something right or something that she had been or-
dered to come down and do, so we ran upstairs and we started
kissing in a different room but while hiding from the others. I
feel like there was a scene where we were walking along the lake-
side. I remember giving different suggestions to that ‘cool cult
guy’ who really looked like Lajos. It was essentially him, but I
don’t feel like he represented him very well. I remember a really
long scene with a control room and we were all watching a scene
and to my left there was a bag on an end table or a box. Some-
thing very small, like a thing that had a little gadget in it. The
package had one word on it, and I kept using this word. I think
there was something about a thesaurus. I remember looking at
the giant screen and I forget what we were watching. It was set
up almost like a theater, but we were controlling something and
I was sitting in the audience and I think that this is where I knew
the guy from and there were six or seven people sitting around
this room. This was my job. After I left, I remember wondering if
that had actually happened or if I had just imagined that whole
thing—that whole scene—because I was saying it was a memory,
but I said "That didn't happen," and that seemed very profound
because it was so detailed.
We might have been controlling some kind of traffic mechanism,

because I remember witnessing some kind of accidents—not just
car accidents but all sorts of accidents, anything to do with the
road, although it felt like a space control room. There were very
strict rules in that one room and there was some kind of booth
that I walked in and then people said "Okay, you can be a part
of this.” There was a long queue waiting to get there. I wonder
what the hell that was. I definitely waited in line for a while. I re-
member sitting by a little beachy area with an elevated walkway
where I took many walks. Everything was raised, kind of like a
bunch of conjoined apartments everywhere. I remember looking
out a window and seeing a window that was painted every time
I touched it, and others wondered "Is he painting with his eyes
just by seeing it?"
There was something like he cannot look at it without the wall

becoming bright and I kept thinking "why do these lights be-
come so bright from this building every time I look at it?” and
it was like "because he doesn't know how to look at the lights
without it becoming bright.” He doesn't know how to look at
the trim without the trim becoming old and strange,” and things
like that. So I started realizing this guy’s faults at the end. At the
end I started thinking he was paranoid, ‘cause the whole time I
thought he was a real stable guy, but at the end he was like look-
ing nervously out the window and he left and came walking back
in, and he was pacing nervously, and I don’t think I was sup-
posed to ask him what he was doing when he came inside, like it
was disallowed, and I asked him and he just looked at me "Mrs.
Something said she would be doing this” "She said she would be
coming at the beginning,” and so I looked out and saw her car
in the line waiting to get places and he said "It couldn't be her...
it couldn't be.” I remember him getting really uptight once. He
was scolding me for... I remember him looking over my shoulder
while I was doing a lot of what work I was doing. I was naming
things and doing these really insanely good project and I remem-
ber him being really proud, and I became doubly proud that he
was proud, even my mother and sister were getting yelled at be-
cause they just couldn’t do anything right, my sister had to be put
away just because she didn’t do something with her shoes, like
she didn't put on the right shoes and hang the right flower on her
arm, or wrist when she walked in the building. It was something
like that, ‘cause I could see her coming through the high walkway
from outside, and I saw these other escorts following her looking
agitated. I have a very faint memory of a dark skinned guy and
a dog. I feel like there was something to do with our neighbors.
Someone in my dream was walking around with a dog, down the
street or on one of the high walkways. It was like a policeman,
and I think I freaked out, and it got me in trouble. It drew too
much attention because I freaked out when it started getting too
close. I don’t even think it was barking. I just got really bothered.
“BENEATH THE PEWS” *
07/29/2013
440
“PUPPET PIT”
07/30/2013
I was working in an office. Daniel was my superior in this office,

and I remember his glare seeming very invasive, like he knew
what I was thinking, even though I wasn’t doing anything weird
or wrong, but I felt like I was being judged, and eventually I was
given a task along with another young woman to go pick some-
thing up from a shopping center. I'm not sure about anything
that went on in the office. There were alot of desks, and I was sit-
ting down all day long just doing work.
After walking in and past the foyer, to the right there was a large
chasm/pit that went down a good forty feet below ground, and
for some reason the both of us went down there instead of get-
ting what supplies we were needing or maybe food. Me and her
took off on our own, exploring the rest of the place.
The door had dozens of locks and latches on it, not all exposed
at the same time, but when you would undo one latch another
one would appear beneath it, and it was never ending and I was
in a hurry, so after about twenty of them I gave up furiously, be-
ing unable to sustain my erection after all of that annoyance and
ran down the other end of this long, "sterile" hallway, ending up
at what looked like a "vision center", like for glasses and lenses,
almost like a jewelry place. There were glass containers all over
the place and large displays, and it was very clean, and I remem-
ber seeing an exit door in one of the reflections, and so I figured
if I could walk through this room I could find the door that I
was seeing in the reflection, but this large woman was standing
441
back behind the counter at the far end of the room and raised
her voice when I came walking in, like if rejecting my presence.
But I couldn't tell where the exit was because I could see their re-
flection in the glass doors but I couldn't tell where it was because
everything was shiny and sparkly. The lady was selling reading
glasses and eye glasses. When I entered I was going to ask how to
get out, but she said "Ooooh, no, no,” like I didn't belong there.
Before all that, this girl and I were in some underwater pit, but
it wasn't all underwater. It was just deep in the underground for
most of the time, but I was just masturbating over and over again,
one after another, like four or five times in total, ridiculous es-
pecially since it wasn’t the case in real life that I had any reason
to be aroused. I don’t know who the girl was supposed to be. I
don’t think there is any reality comparison. I know that in the
beginning the puppet belonged to the girl, but eventually I stole
it from her, I didn't want her to be getting me aroused. I didn't
know how she was doing it but it wasn't normal, and I knew she
was going to be upset when I took off by myself with the puppet.
I knew that was a problem. I remember there being some music
and I definitely remember singing, so I imagine this had a part to
play in my getting aroused.
I recall us crawling in strange underground layers and I feel like

there were strange monsterlike things too and I was aroused the
whole time and it didn't make sense. I know that we were touch-
ing each other an awful lot but never stripped our clothes. There
was a nice guy who let us in, and then we got in this building.
He was short and had a long gray mustache and gray hair stick-
ing out the side of his head, like a mad scientist from a cartoon.
We stayed overnight in the pit even though the mall was closed.
I remember doing some weird dance move when some guy

looked at me but can’t remember any more to do with it than
that. I feel like there were different tunnels in the pit, for most
of the time we spent our stay in the main part of the pit that
you land in when you fall where you can still look up and see
the mall's ceiling faintly and far away, but over night we started
crawling through small crawl spaces and weird tunnels, and they
were so cramped that it was practically intimacy just to crawl
through them together.
"We don't have any money to get back." And the old, short, mad-
scientist looking guy says "Oh, next time you want to get back
just buy ME something. Buy me FOOD!" saying it in a silly way,
with a higher voice for the word food. So I said okay but I didn't
want to say anything to him even though I hadn't done anything
wrong and wanted to avoid further conversation. Pretty sure this
had to do with my trying to sustain my arousal and to not let
anyone interrupt it, which I successfully sustained until the very
end of the dream. So I went off, running down the right-hand
side down the long hallway. White walls and light blue-ish floors
like is common in malls.
"Nooo, next time you want food just bring ME food!"
I was running around with this girl, and there was this weird
hand puppet. I was masturbating with it and in it. At the end of
the dream I was trying to find the exit and I saw the owner of this
large shopping center return. They weren't an owner, but they
were one of the persons in charge I think who had seen me on
the day before and had pointed me in the direction I needed to
go, and I didn't want any person to see that I stayed overnight in
this place so I tried to run out and to avoid all of that, along with
running from the girl for some reason so that she couldn't take
the puppet back, but she was clearly upset, vocally upset even,
like she wanted to be the one who got me off and I wouldn’t al-
low it.
“BURN SPRAY”
07/31/2013
I was sitting on the couch in my bedroom with a girl at my right-

hand side, and she was spraying her face with burn spray. She
then offered it to me, saying "Do you want some?" and I said
"What? That's not how you use it. And even when I am burnt I
handle it like a man handles it." And then I began laughing, and
in my laughter there was this one shrill vocal crack and it was so
conspicuous, prompting me to say "Whoa! There's a woman in
there!"
We made a cartoon, and quite effortlessly. It looked very profes-

sional—well beyond what I expected we could manage—and I
was surprised. I don’t even remember much about the cartoon,
but we were wowed, because in the span of one or two hours we
had created an entire cartoon. "Whoa! Screw those people who
say it's hard!"
At the very end, while sitting on the couch, the girl turned to me
and said, "I know I hurt you," and was working towards an apolo-
gy, but my father walked in and the whole thing was interrupted.
This was upsetting to me because I had really been anticipating
this apology.
445
“WAS THE CLAW TWISTED?”
07/31/2013
That guy did something wrong "Spare (me) not a ninth time!",
“Spare me nay (not) a ninth," about being whipped. He did
something to hurt this young woman all by accident, something
about being stabbed, and someone did it, so he was telling her
to stab him nine times and no less. Because he had hurt her acci-
dentally, and she decided not to do it and then in the next scene
(Caroline). I was thinking by the way her eyelids were shaped
that she might also be named Anita, and then she was sitting
with her mother on one royal chair, and her mom says "It’s a good
thing that you didn’t do that, because this..."something about the
punishments being different for stabbing than what he did, and
it being more severe.”
This might have been a movie I was watching in the dream.
I wrote something in the treetops. I was at church and I went

outside to the woodsy part, writing text in the tree. I went out-
side because I didn’t feel like I was being appreciated. I was stand-
ing there in that place and I was laughing and all those people
from church were there too. We were all trying to figure out
some guy’s problem, it was Kyle. And I remember some people
saying "Where's Kyle from?" and they were talking about how
Kyle hasn’t always lived in this place. And I said "What, is he
from California?" Well, this person isn't from this place in Cali-
fornia, but, the show is done here, or this is done here, but they're
actually from this place.” So I said "So where is HE from, is he
from California?"
"No, he’s just not from HERE."

446
There was one guy who was trying to figure out something that
happened to Kyle a long time ago, and he was forgetting the
word for it, because he was trying to "get to the bottom" of some
problem he was having, and I remember us all walking along this
shore or rocky cliff, and he said "Was it claw?" and then Kyle
started convulsing, and so the guys responded saying "It was a
claw. It was a claw!" and so there was something in his past that
had to do with a claw and it was just crazy, and so the guy with
him is shouting "You HAVE to remember! You HAVE to." and
he was holding him up while they walked, supporting him, ‘cause
Kyle was having what looked like a seizure. And so this guy was
just walking him into this warehouse up onto this large plat-
form in the corner, and they were just standing there. I remem-
ber following them up there at a close distance, saying "was the
claw TWISTED? Was the claw TWISTED?" and they weren't
looking at me or responding to me, having their own conversa-
tion. They finally turned to look at me and I repeated another
time, "Was the claw TWISTED?" in a really goofy voice, and
he said "NO, the claw wasn't twisted." and I remember even af-
ter he said that I raised my hand and started twisting my wrist
like if to show what I meant by that. After that I went down to
the lower level when other people started entering into this small
warehouse, they started coming in one of several entrances, one
of them said something to each other like it was inappropriate
they even busted into this place, and they're like "You could have
come in this entrance instead,” and I interjected sarcastically "Or
you could have come in in the way you came in and in the way
you came in it." Then they looked at me kind of upset, except one
of the guys smiled a little bit, but we shouldn’t have been here,
because first of all, it wasn't our place, and second of all, it wasn't
our place to interfere with this other guy, Kyle. All these Bed-
ford guys were here, and they were all coming in and I remem-
ber us all standing there, and everyone was really worried, mean-
while, I had a huge devious smile on my face. I remember having
a sort of third person perspective , seeing myself in the way they
saw me, and I looked absolutely devilish, having a huge joker-
like grin, very strange, dark and devilish like glue, it felt black, it
was metaphorically black, and then I remember looking out and
there were some girls who were making really strange, concerned
faces at me, and after that I noticed everyone else was looking at
me, and I thought "They're thinking "Here he goes again."
And just different creepy things like that were going on my

mind, and I kept thinking "And now they're thinking THIS",
and I heard what they were thinking
"He's doing it again."
“There he goes again.”
I felt judged, I guess. I went walking outside the side door of this
building and started moving in a really creepy way through the
grass, and I was going to do something, don’t know what I was
going to do, but it was something that was devilish. I just went
walking through a giant fence, and there were two girls sitting at
a table behind a large, wire fence and I saw them making faces at
me like I knew they thought I was strange too. I just had a huge
smile on my face, and that's when I realized I was different, be-
cause no one else was smiling.
I was running through the church parking lot, writing in the air
in between trees at certain angles, almost like a projector screen
LED but it wasn't. They were glowing at certain angles but they
weren't attached to anything, and then I was writing them in
trees. I don’t know how I was getting them up there, but I was
like shooting them up there, pressing a button and it would type
it all up there. It’s hard to explain, but the leaves were so deep
and so thick that only one of the letters showed up visible.I then
typed a weird, maybe angsty message, and it was very misspelled,
almost in every word, and I was going to go back and edit it. The
grammar was wrong.
"That's okay, no one will see it, they would have to stare at it from
this angle and from this place."
But then I saw the people from church letting out, and my par-
ents came walking to the car, and then my dad looked up into the
air and said "What's that?"
I feel like it had to do with We Three Kings, but it might just

be the case that I was singing We Three Kings in my head while
I was doing it, but it had something to do with an album of
mine that I don’t think I've created. (Maybe with Benbenet?)
Maybe three glowing symbols, small symbols of three wisemen
riding camels at the bottom of my text body. I really wish I could
have remembered this. I didn't want the thing in the trees to be
seen because it was a sort of lament... about how scared or how
painful something about my experience was, and I didn't expect
it to be read.
I wish I could remember exactly what the guy was saying when
he told the woman to stab him nine times because he deserved
it. The misunderstanding between the two was supposedly very
minor, but he was overreacting, and with a gentlemanly sort of
composure no less, and was wanting her to stab him no less than
nine times for the better of her own "grudging spirit.” And then
later sitting at a party with a pouty looking face and her eyes
half closed while her mother expressed how good a thing it was
that this girl did not act upon the man's proposition, the scene
changed so strangely fast.
Nay not any but a ninth
Nay a Ninth Is...
It was all Old English, I don’t know.

“CAN’T TYPE ANITA’S NAME”
08/01/2013
There appeared four guys. One who resembled a fop, one like a
football coach, one who was half couch, and one who was an an-
imal speaking with the voice of a black man. And they spoke to
me and to themselves.
The whole time I was aware, feeling my physical body, and at one
time I felt my hand being bitten but I didn't know whose hand it
was. And at the end I threw a glass of water just because I found
it funny. Right before I woke up I told myself all this in recapitu-
lation.
I realized that, since it was my dream and my mind, that if I

typed her name into the search engine that it should yield only
the correct results—those having to do with the Anita that I am
seeking— since I know no other by that name, and so it would
not make sense for any else to appear. I only wanted to see a pic-
ture of her.
No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't write Anita's name on the

computer. Whenever I would type certain letter combinations,
the letters would be corrupted and change. For instance, I could
not type ‘Anit’ together without it changing suddenly to ‘Anet’.
And I tried several times and it never worked. So then I start-
ed trying to fool the system, trying to type ‘nita’ first and then
adding an A later, however it still ended up corrupted. When
that didn’t work I opened up my lyrics folder and searched out a
song in which she was mentioned. I think it was "The Duet,” and
so I was looking through the lyrics sheet for the album Hounds
Surround Her, and while scrolling through I could not find any
451
mention of her name. So I opened up the ‘find’ feature, and it

still wouldn't let me type in certain letter combinations, so I
typed in ‘Ani’ and searched. To my surprise, it took me right to
the part in the song where her name was present; however, I was
taken to a blank space, or what looked like a blank checkbox
where her name should have been, even though the search func-
tion took me there.
I worked different methods repeatedly and eventually got her

name typed into the search engine, bu when I hit enter a window
popped up like if from an incoming video chat, and a blonde
woman was sitting there, and she didn’t seem to notice me at
first, looking at something off camera... But then she started talk-
ing and seemed to be trying to distract me. Then right as I was
about to close down the window to see the search results, it
would seem that two young women had appeared in my building
that I had not seen before, and they knew what I was doing and
couldn't allow me to minimize the window and see the results
of my search for Anita, so right when I clicked the button, one
of the women threw themselves at me and tried to put wrestling
moves on me, and she was trying to pretend like it was funny
but I knew it wasn't, but I managed to knock her out. After that,
the next woman stripped off her clothes and came running af-
ter me like if trying to seduce me (But I'm Tendon Levey!) , but
I knocked her away also. It was ridiculous. I don’t know what
happened next but it would seem that the computer disappeared
completely and so I just sat in the chair spacing out while I was
preoccupied with the sensations of my physical, transdimension-
al body. I thought I recognized the blonde girl on the screen and
when she looked at me she started yelling at one of the girls next
to me and it became absolutely frenzied. And something was bit-
ing my hands. I cannot even possibly describe the way my body
felt in all this time, because I felt sleep paralysis throughout the
entire dream, and I can remember having shaken myself out of

it several dozen times, like in what way I normally would, rock-
ing back and forth or kicking off with my toes, but right after I
would work myself free I would always become paralyzed again
immediately thereafter. And all this was going on and being felt
while I was seeing, hearing and existing in this other scene. It was
like a dream within a dream, having felt my "real body" walking
around the house and talking to other people while I was dream-
ing, knowing I wasn't awake. I wasn't seeing anything I was talk-
ing to but I knew that I was moving around in the real world.
It got really messed up because of how real it felt. I've forgotten
several things that I spoke even right at the end of the dream.
"Wait... is there a cup of water anywhere?" and I looked down
and saw one sitting at an end table just to my right, and I was
looking down and I can remember thinking it perfectly clearly,
how bad I really wanted to spill some water because I thought
it was a good way to end the dream, kind of like a "Screw you
guys," and I was totally lucid and only decided to wake up so soon
because I wanted to make sure I remembered the contents and
because the sleep paralysis thing was wigging me out. I remem-
ber when I first went lucid, thinking "Wait... that means I can do
anything." it had something to do with my having felt my phys-
ical body. Right before the dream started there was an extreme-
ly vivid hypnagogic hallucination that lasted for several minutes
and transitioned seamlessly into this dream. (Sister driving down
the road with car door open) and (Mother and me arguing on
the back deck)
I remember some weird Indian stuff popping up on the comput-

er when I was searching Anita’s name, and there were all these
strange accent marks that kept appearing to corrupt my text, but
I never got to examine it. I feel like I made an attempt before
finding her on the computer. I wanted to make her appear in this
house, but I realized my bad fortune with this in the past, and
figured I might get interesting results by trying something new.
Those four men were saying some really goofy self-aware thing...
Psychotic-almost. Right after I recapped, "Wait... is this where I
really want to wake up?" then looked for the glass. And then had
to do one more recap. I remember when I realized in my dream
that they were trying to keep me from Anita. I started testing
them, by thinking different things and not telling them what I
was thinking about. And it kept being proven, and I couldn't be-
lieve it.
"Man, I am wholly conscious of this recap, and I am always won-

dering after I wake up if I am conscious of it when I am doing it
or not." I recapped like four full times, trying to construct some
sort of mnemonic device so as to ensure that I didn’t lose the
details of this dream. I remember when my mother and I got
in an argument I used a word that she didn't understand, and I
got more frustrated because I had to explain it to her. My father
and I were staring out the window waiting for my sister to get
home, and as she was driving down our street her door flew open
and I started saying "Are you kidding me? Has she really become
that irresponsible? Her car door just opened. They're just fucking
around in there."
Me and my mom arguing on the back deck. My father and I

were sitting at the sun table. My father was just staring silently.
My mother was in the doorway and she came out and started
shouting, and I shouted back replete with “f-words”, and she
was saying the most hideous, horrible things. I remember saying
something, questioning something about her experience in the
World... like getting over some fear or something... took her out
of the world when it was the fear of the world itself.
First the couch man appeared. Then the mad hatter like guy.
Then the football coach guy appeared, but he looked and acted
nothing like a football coach so I have no idea why I am calling
him that. Then the animal thing appeared. A dog but not a dog.
A turtle but not a turtle. And we were all talking and I had no
idea what we were talking about. There were alot of very strange
conflicts that I reminded myself of right in the end but I forgot...
This was like five seconds before I picked up my voice recorder
and started talking. There was absolutely no delay between my
dream and my waking to pick up the recorder, it was seamless. It
was creepy feeling both worlds at once. I still don’t know if it was
the real world or a dream within a dream.
I am pretty sure I also studied the Magus tarot card within the
dream, and can remember having come upon a profound realiza-
tion relating to it, but this is among the details I forgot.
“CANTALOUPE”
08/01/2013
I was walking through the mall, and there was that thing about
me realizing that "Excitement is on the outside" and "happiness
on the inside.”
A week where I starved myself, a two week period, where I ate

nothing at all, saying "This is the only time Rocky ever changed
me." But I was bluffing essentially, and I don’t think this period
ever happened, and I remember explaining it to someone. I was
in what resembled a theater with my father, and it wasn't crowd-
ed, but there were several others in the room at random scattered
placement, And I had a bowl sitting in my lap with all of this
chopped up cantaloupe and I was eating it. And my spoon kept
scraping the bowl and I was nervous that it would disturb the
other. And me and him were talking a little bit loud when we
would talk and I was trying to avoid this; and due to the rate at
which he was speaking and the taciturn answers I was giving, I
was thinking "They're going to think that I'M the (quiet?) one!?"
456
“SONG OF RETURNING”
08/01/2013
I was standing with those two kids. And I don’t remember how
but I might have been being bigoted about these two kids who
I thought weren't real. There's this one kid that I thought wasn't
real. I might have been a jerk to him. And I really didn’t think he
was there. I thought the guy that was just walking around was to-
tally kidding. Making it up. He was Iranian. I did something in-
sulting to him. Then another one appeared. There were two and
they looked identical. And I go “You two are brothers???”
We were in a large church-like building. And then one of them

started talking. I think the other one couldn't talk. The one I first
talked to couldn’t talk but the other could. I think we were called
to make their clones or something. But just after that there was
this weird stuff. Like I was in this big circle of a bunch of people.
And I was talking and we were laughing. And the parents were
walking by. And they're telling me about their country. And I’m
putting it into very simple words, saying I listen to Iranian pop
music, and made the best with my mouth, and they’re like that’s
great. I miss something something. And all of the sudden a song
started being sung, someone started singing a song. And I didn't
realize it was going on. And they pointed me to look up and to
look around myself, to see that it was going on.
Something had begun playing. And all these people from outside
of the place that were the same nationality, were coming into
the building, already singing a song because they heard it playing
from this place. And I don't know what it was, but someone was
playing some kind of native theme of this, this country, and it is
as bringing everyone back in here. And everyone was like Do you
457
see what's happening? And everyone was coming in and holding

hands. They were taking each other's hands. And it was really just
wild. They had already taken hands with someone else. And so I
was trying to be really nice to him. And so I was going around
looking for hands to take and I remember finding this one girl
that sort of looked just like Anita and then there's another girl
who wouldn't...
Okay the one I just told about looked a lot like Anita, but then
another one who looked like her in a different way, but she was
looking down and so I couldn’t tell.So I went in between the
two because the circle was building quickly but was not joining
the area. It was really nuts. so I joined between the two of them.
And 2-/ trying to feel their hand size, trying to feel which one
was Anita. And we all went around in circles. Singing these loud
songs. And then the circle, turnEd into a line and we took it out-
side and we were like this large procession going on outside do-
ing different things in this like snow.
Like there's all these tasks or something like I visited this one
weird little temple site, this little area I remember I visited.
Okay, also something about me being in a bathroom. And I was

on the floor looking at the bathroom, at supplies. There was just
a girl there, and I forget who the girl was. This was before every-
thing else happened. I'll get back to that in a few minutes.
And so we're all going around. I was at a site and I don’t know
what I was doing. I was really marveling at it. And I don't know
what that maybe I'll get back to viewers.
And so we're going on the snow, we kept getting separated, we

kept getting different tasks. It's just very strange and peaceful.
And I remember seeing a bunch of people I knew every once in
a while, and we'd all just be going around the snow. And we end-
ed up in different places. And I remember at the very end, I lost
my coat and I'm like, I went outside, and I kicked someone in the
chest.
Was this the dream where I was with Isaac and I hadn’t eaten.
And so I like walked up. I think it was like some I kicked him in
the chest and then this girl who looked like Jessi was like, hey,
But I was like, I lost my coat.She was like, what do you do with
it? I'm like, I left over there.
What was that underground building? There's a big under-

ground building that was kind of sectioned off or something. I
think that's what it was for this. And there's that building. Maybe
this was on the other side, too. Where there were those fat kids.
There was that big class rear felt like that thing was the inebria-
tion class I took. This was the beginning of the dream, I think,
where there were all these fat kids sitting there. Not all these fat
guys, but a couple of them. And they're fat. And they were talk-
ing about different things. They're asking me different questions.
And I think I had a problem with these kids. And I just... there
was like a stage. And there was something that was wrong with
me that people thought and I'm not sure how popular I was. I
don't think it was too popular. And it was weird I was being kind
of bigoted.
I remembered doing something really weird that no one under-

stood.
I remember being in this underground tunnel where we were

stopped in this tunnel. And we're trying to pass through. Oh,
yeah. I remember all the guys. This is right before I lost my coat.
This is probably why I lost my coat. I was standing there with all
those guys and they were all going through this passageway. Oh
my gosh, and there was a woman I really pissed off. We were all
leaning against this one big...There were little food stations and
snack booths and I was trying to avoid them because everyone
was on a journey. And there's fast food stations every freaking
couple feet. And I'm like how much they're gonna be. And so I
was leaning against this fast food place. And this lady was talk-
ing and I said something that was really, really insulting. And,
I just didn't care. And I remember the lady, she didn't even see
me. But she heard me because I was like underneath the booth.
She just flung up fries at whoever was ordering at the time from
my group, and just got really pissed. And I was like, Oh, boy.
It's like, I remember being like, Oh, I just made a jerk of my-
self. And so then we all started passing through and I started try-
ing to walk through something that wasn't meant to be walked
through. Thinking this is where we're supposed to go. I'm like,
Wait, you can't step through this thing. And I guess it doesn't
make sense. I remember the guys. I think he fell through the
floor on purpose. He was like, All right, right here. And so we
were walking through different places they were walking through
the floor.
Then they opened the door. He opened the door to someplace,

I don't know. And they were going through and it looked like
a freezer. And it looked like you know, like cream, you know, I
mean, like beep cream, and stuff, you know, like fun stuff, like
that. And so, you know, we all went in there and talked and I’m
like “Hey like, guys what's going on? I was like, ``Is this where
we're going or what's going on now?” And they all look at me
and they do not say anything. And then when they wouldn't talk
they talk. They wouldn't talk as normal. Normally they usually
would.
And suddenly I looked around and realized where I was. And

then I, I, I was like, I had no idea before. And I thanked them,
I said, “Thank you for being conscientious of not saying that
word.” You know. And, you know, I didn't know that this is the
place we're heading to. And so because they were trying to get
some free food from this one guy, and they were following him
into the freezer. And so I left and that's when it was snowing. It
wasn't snowing before then. And that's when I went out into the
snow and started like rolling down this hill. And it's such a weird
place. And I remember looking for the procession, that line that
was still going on that I was part of before because we were bro-
ken up and I was looking for that one line that was dancing and
singing in that one room, it broke up and these clumps started
walking everywhere. And we all started going out into the world
in like these groups, they were all holding hands and stuff, and I
lost mine. And so I was looking because I only lost a few minutes
ago and I thought I could still see them moving around. And
that's when I realized I was freezing and I didn't want to go back
to get my coat, I didn’t think it was worth it. But I knew I made
a mistake and I had shoes to cover my shoes. And that's why so
like Jesse and this other guy, and I went and kicked him or threw
something at his chest just to be silly. But then she's like when she
joined and I forgot my coat. And she's Oh, I mean she was sym-
pathetic and I think you're gonna help me look for it but I was
like no I'm good.
What was going on in that classroom, because I remember I had

to stand up at one point in front of, maybe I was never I don't
know if I was. there were those bathrooms where I was doing
something like I was staying in someone's house overnight. And
we open this second store bathroom looking for something to
bring to this other girl and I remember there's some attractive
girls there. and so there was something on we're staying in this
overnight place and we were all just doing good things with
friends and stuff. I don't know what the deal was. and yeah, and
I'm in one classroom because I remember kind of not liking these
fat kids or something. And they were pretty annoying. I don't
know if I didn't like them because they were fat or because they
were annoying.
“CANNABIS IN MY EYE”
08/02/2013
I was in New Jersey. The holiday season had just begun this very
morning. It was the day after Thanksgiving. There was something
about being very malformed. I think it was me who was mal-
formed. Something really wrong, and I cannot remember what.
I remember being in my bedroom in the beginning of the dream.
Different from the bedroom at the end of the dream. There was
something at some point to do with singing. I also remember sit-
ting in the living room and Christmas shows/commercials were
coming on the TV in the background. Ever since the pot thing
the house looked strange, but before that happened it looked
much like my New Jersey home. So I was sitting up in my old,
high bed and I don’t remember what I was doing, but something
having to do with a girl. I might have been talking on the phone
to her, “I feel there was a really strange reason for why she and
I couldn't meet and it might have had to do with my sexuality, I
don't know. It just didn't seem like a legitimate reason."
. My sister went outside in the early morning, and I knew she

had a fucking huge bag of cannabis. And when mom was stand-
ing in the kitchen I pulled it all out of the top cupboard, saying
"Look at this, she was definitely planning to take this." And
my mom answered, "Just bring it to your dad,” and I don’t un-
derstand what happened next. I tipped it over accidentally and
touched some of it and then I was having major eye problems
and touched my eye after having touched the cannabis and
freaked out, having realized what I did, and not knowing if this
would be enough for me to experience the effects, by absorption
463
into the eye membrane. My eyes were screwed up already and I

was terrified to get high. Then my sister comes back in and I’m
standing over the sink. I had at first asked my mother to help me
get some water in my eye, but she made it worse, having no idea
what I was asking her to do. So I sat there trying to get water in
my eye, and then I was wiping it with a towel. Asia walks in all
smiling and laughing and I said "SEE!" to my mother, because
she was acting high, but she found some way to rationalize her
behavior to me and my mother why she wasn't.
I experienced sleep paralysis in the dream or at the end of the

dream and it was absolutely awful. Then, near the end of the
dream, my grandma and mother got locked in the house and
they were wanting to go to the store and I was still washing stuff
out of my eye, and when I came out to see what was going on I
realized they had locked themselves in; and it wasn’t even a mat-
ter of them having been locked from the other side, but that they
couldn't unlock the door and were freaking out ‘cause they need-
ed to go shopping. It made no sense, it was ridiculous. Then I
went and laid down in my bed and was all scared. Had what I
thought was the worst sleep paralysis ever but it seems to be that
that might have been the dream also, or possibly a product of
what I thought to be the cannabis, and so I was terrified in bed
that I would feel its effects since I would not be able to take drugs
in my fragile condition, having not taken them since the worst of
my anxiety and throat issues began.
“GUY WANTING A FIGHT”*
08/02/2013
465
“GIANT MALL”
08/02/2013
There was the mall. Naked person running. Mulder-like. "I hate
to say it, but people have created some things I like and I just
kind of want to sit back and enjoy all that." and he's asking me
about some character from a book, "Wasn't this the name of the
person who did the voice for (?)?" and asking about some dark
skinned woman. "I don't know, I've never seen it, I was born in
the late eighties and I do remember a book by (?) name that
was similar" ‘cause he just pulled up this really silly show, a chil-
dren's show, ‘cause I remember I had seen him again a second
time again at the end of the dream.
And so I was asking him different questions, like "So have you
seen everything in this vast place yet?"
"Have you seen everything there is to see?"
and he answered, "Umm... I haven't read some of the books on

this or books on this" and they were very specific things, like
something about planes and something about art, and I said
"Oh, only the very specific things?" and he misunderstood what
I said, and I forget how I put,
I accidentally jumped off when I was typing in the control pad,

punched in the wrong number because I had no idea what I was
doing and I wasn't able to get the same blue bridge as the other
girl got so I jumped blindly when into the dark abyss and landed
like a hundred feet below where was a concert about to start in a
very dark room (some shit like Post-Grunge)
466
Some model(s) I was following around. There were these weird

fashion models and there was this one girl among them and she
left and I was standing on the dark top story of the mall and I be-
lieve them to have been naked or stripped down, and they went
running across the mall and they ran over to the control pad and
take a jump and land in this weird model place where everyone
was scampering around strangely. I remember while she ran she
let out a loud comment to herself, saying "All these stupid hu-
mans with their stupid skin." and I was standing about forty feet
to the left of her, standing in the dark by myself, I think lean-
ing over the rail and peering at the lower stories, and I said "I
know just what you mean." and she turned in my direction, hav-
ing seemed surprised that I heard her, and I think she smiled at
me before running across the blue bridge and leaping into the
model place and then I tried to follow after her because I was in-
terested in what she had to say, but that's when I realized it was a
punch pad, because on other occasions when I followed persons
over that thing, it was because they accidentally left the thing
running, and hers didn't last long enough
I remember being in this corner talking to a girl. There was some-

thing about "neck" too. Someone was talking about necks and it
bothered me. It wasn't taken too far but it was just an anxious
moment not knowing what they would say. There was a school
setting. I’m sitting there hanging out with these people I thought
were friends of N’s. There was an overnighter going on and in
one room they were all watching this huge projector screen. This
might have been around the first place I met the Mulder guy and
there were some other guys too. A fat guy (charles?). They were
like punk/punkish people. Something that had to do with water.
Just some of the people that used to hang out with like N and
H. I just remember accidentally ending up in or sitting in one of
the rooms where two or three of them were also sitting. I can't
remember what the case was, they asked me questions,
The lights were so dim on the concert floor and it was just about
to start. They began leading in with a long drumroll and while
they did this I ran around frantically in a circular pattern around
the perimeter of the large room trying to stand in a spot where
the band and its instruments and speakers were not facing me,
but no matter where I went it seemed that the speakers and many
drum kits were set up so that they followed you wherever you
walked. There was only one spot where this wasn’t the case. I
didn't want to be staring at the group. It was boring. (there were
like four drums, they never didn’t face you).
My mother on that top, rich floor of the upper mall level, all
these fat women in 1990's style (right before the chasing the
model scene), I saw my mother so I went up to her and asked
her about something. They’re all getting ready for something on
this floor... all glamored up and I don’t think any of them real-
ized that they didn't look good. They didn't realize how gaudy
and large they were, and I couldn't get through due to the sheer
amount of people up here. I was trying to go to different places.
And I couldn't squeeze through. And they all migrated from
table to table and from booth to booth slapping all these super-
ficial items on the outside of themselves, and it just wasn't work-
ing. I feel like I knew some of the others but I don’t know now,
like relatives or something. Finally I squeezed through, think-
ing I asked my mother to hold on to something of me. I think
I went and bought something right before I saw the Pokémon
cards, and then saw them and thought “DAMNIT.”
Me and a bunch of people sitting there. Poppop was there too

and was talking to them about Pokémon cards and these other
merchandise things that were really weird. Really weird green

person squeeze toy. I thought it was cool and I was sitting here
in this cafe leaning against the wall talking to Isaac. Then on my
way out I told him he needed to get the cards.
I was sitting on the couch in this place and ally was there and it
was a giant couch the wrapped around covering two walls and it
had like thirty or forty people on it and I was at one of the far
ends and I didn’t want to be there and Ally was next to me, it was
like a youth group setting. In my pocket there was a pill and al-
so a wallet. I was sitting with my knees pulled up and so because
of my position the pill kept sliding out of my pants and onto the
couch. And when it fell out the next thing I know Ally is hold-
ing onto it saying "You didn't tell me you had this. What is this
doing in here?" And I said "I don't know."
"Make sure that no one else sees this. Make sure that this doesn't
keep falling out of your pocket."
I said "it’s fine" and she repeated "Make sure no one else sees it."
And so I put it back in my pants but I refused to change posi-

tions and so it kept sliding out again. Eventually I don’t know
what happened but I got annoyed with her, stood up and went
somewhere else. I went out way too far in the water, lake, and
there was this giant machine they were driving. It was really high
in the air and there was a huge tower while I was in the machine
and there were shelves on top of it, and I was touching these slid-
ing drawers/doors and I asked "What's in this?" and opening it
up exposed a bunch of creeping, rotting things, like bugs and
mothballs, and someone else said "Oh, you don’t want to touch
that, that's all used for healing purposes, but that’s some creepy
stuff that might not have the same effect on everyone,” or some-
thing like that and I was up really high, on top of a shelf, on top
of a moving platform and it’s impossible to describe because it

was one of the strangest contraptions I had ever before seen. It
seemed totally unsafe. I remember riding down the dirt path in
possibly another huge machine, more mecha-like, with this girl
who came out into the ocean.
I floated too far out in the lake/ocean, and this girl had to come
up to the line how far we were able to go and how far we weren't
able to go and something happened and I think I injured myself
beyond the line into bad territory, so she risked herself coming
out into the unknown to pull me back in even if only by a little
distance and that was a huge deal. I remember being in my swim-
ming shorts, just tight black shorts. I was bored of what every-
one else was doing in the lake and just went way too far out, but
I feel I got right on a machine when she came to help me, but it
wasn't an aquatic machine so I don’t know. She helped me back
on-land, to the right-side path of this lake, dirt path, and we were
running on this side path and in this giant mecha-shaped thing.
I think it was similar to that cabinet thing if it was not the same
thing.
Bunch of people I was hanging out with. I remember the context

but I remember there being some giant dogs there. I still don’t
know what was the case with my hanging out with friends of
what girl I seemingly liked and they were people who I "knew"
(of ). I remember that there were a lot of different rooms and I
guess I just ended up in the wrong room and I sat there leaning
against the wall, watching the large screen. I think there was
some reason for why they were suspicious of me, like one of them
didn't know how to feel about me but that’s all because she was
very protective of her friend.
I just remember walking around alot in the mall in between oth-

er scenes. I just remember passing by stores and staring at them
and stairways, some of this was on the first story, some of them
on the second story. There was definitely a girl I liked in the be-
ginning part of this dream, but I don’t know if I was able to get
to her and I think she was asleep and so that's why I ended up
walking around into these different rooms looking for her and I
maybe stayed where her friends were ‘cause I thought she might
come here at a later time. Then that girl who rescued me from
beyond the line, but it was not the girl I originally liked, and I
don’t know who she was and did not look like anyone I know.
She came after me then we went on that machine. Later on a guy
was operating the machine, maybe she only guided me up to this
machine the guy was operating. He was a small bit a mix between
Florentin and an old bassist that was in my prog rock band.
I was at the concert floor, and after walking in circles for a long
time trying to find a place where there were no speakers and
drum kits facing me, I spotted him in the area to the bandstands
rear, and I walked in stealthily and stood about fifteen feet to his
left. Then after a few moments (I Think I was talking to some
other guy who was right in front of where I settled) I looked at
him, saying "Hey!" and he looked at me and responded similarly,
but something about his inflection or expression seemed unsure
as to whether or not he had seen me before. "Do you not remem-
ber me?" I asked, but then he smiled as he walked closer, saying
"Oh, no, of course I remember you." And then he moved in look-
ing like he was trying to kiss me, not in a romantic way but like a
greeting (not that it made it any better). He even called it some-
thing before coming in close, and it was not "Monster Mash" but
I want to say that it was similar, and after saying that in a flam-
boyantly inflected way he moved in and kissed me and I remem-
ber being freaked out out of my mind, but I thought "Well, at
least his face isn't moving around while he's doing it." But I just
waited for it to end.
“CAT IN THE CHIMNEY”
08/03/2013
We were sitting in the Londonberry family room. The cat we
were minding for someone. It was bothering me. It kept biting
my astronaut shirt. And my mom said "I think I can do... (unin-
telligible)"
The cat stands around for a minute, Then the cat walks over to
the fireplace, walks inside and somehow begins climbing up on
the inside. It then disappears and we can not see where it is go-
ing. We just hear a sound reminiscent of those oriental chime
balls that you roll on your palm. It sounded like that and it was
traveling higher and higher. I was worried and my mother was
being strangely casual. She was laughing, "Haha I don't like cats."
"Do you know how terrified it will be if it gets all the way to the
top and realizes there is no opening?" (I interjected) so, there was
no opening. She was just being foolish and I was surprised. Then
about three minutes later it must have reached the top, because
it decided to go back down and you can hear very loudly what
sounds to be an autoharp or harp strumming its notes from high-
est to low like to make a falling sound, a glissandi. It was the fun-
niest sound and it came sliding right down and then just walked
away.
473
“IGGY”*
08/03/2013
There was a mystic man, also, likely of hindu or buddhist de-

nomination.
(R)
474
“PLATES”
08/04/2013
• “Are you made to be a model car?"
Thing about rearranging plates in the hall. There wasn't really

anyone consciously rearranging plates, but I saw this large,
strange picture. There were different transparency levels for each
person; they were all. There were two people holding onto each
other: two girls, one was older and had black hair and the other
had blonde hair.
475
“CARDS AND DRUMS”
08/04/2013
At the end of the dream my mother was standing by the TV, and
maybe she was standing in the doorway. There was Cat on TV,
and I got up and went into the next room to search and see if a
word was an adjective or noun, ‘cause I didn't know how to use
something "Unflexed" "a mind and body unflexed" at first it was
"an unflexed mind and body.” I feel like I was in a place where
I wasn’t allowed to leave. We were walking down the street at
night. I remember having virgin vertigo. Something to do with
Sn? Maybe there was a weird playground? I remember being on
the Londonberry street. Saw Sn and saw her friends. Then I left
and joined the other world. There was some critic, some lady
telling me to do something near the end? In the beginning it was
a lot more "spiritual" but in the end I don’t even know. Staying at
my own hotel building:
I remember someone sleeping over with Asia, like Chelsea, and I

had invited Isaac to come over and I got mad at her because she
always tried to bring her own friends overnight when I would do
mine, and she had taken my blanket, along with several other of
my things just to pretend they were hers and to look ‘cool’. The
blanket had cartoons on it... like Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure. I re-
member getting upset. I remember there were pissed-filled bot-
tles all over the bedroom floor and it was kind of creepy. I was
trying to pretend that nothing had changed but I suddenly real-
ized how frightening and uncomfortable my room might seem,
and so, I said "We can listen to a CD... or watch a movie,” because
I was trying to seem normal, but I was absolutely bored by these
suggestions and wanted to do something else instead.
476
I was sitting at the table with Asia and my grandparents. Paying

too much for a coffee that I wasn't planning on drinking because
it was too late at night and it would upset my physical condition.
I had played cards with the three of them for a while but really
needed to get back to doing something productive and so I told
her calmly "I would be much more apt to play cards ... of playing
one two-hour game. It would probably work out better for me to
play two one-hour sessions,” and there was something that acci-
dentally started playing on my voice recorder... this weird drum
clip/sample, and I played it several times throughout the dream
in weird moments; but this time it was an accident. Every time it
would play my sister would write it down/document it, and then
I finally freaked out and said "Why on every occasion that this
drum loop plays do you write it down on a pad?" And she looked
scared like if to say "He knows?"
She was keeping this document for my mother, and because it

was supposed that this had a significance in certain situations
like it was a reflex/reaction of mine. But on this occasion when
it started playing I didn't know it was me, because I looked over
to my grandfather across the table and he was smiling while it
was playing from his phone also. But he was just trying to match
me, and it was a chaotic scene, between my grandmother being
hurt and upset, my thing going off, my grandfather smiling and
matching me, and my sister writing down on the pad. “Of course
I know about it." I said to my sister. She was spying on some-
thing I did. “Hey, there's some chips over there, do you want to
get some chips?" My grandfather asked while we were in line, but
I said no. I remember that there were two women standing in
front of me in line, while we were getting coffee. When I final-
ly got to the counter I didn't know what I wanted. Someone was
talking about a "Racer Coffee,” and there were different names,
and they were all $4.67 and that may not be overpriced except I
didn't want coffee to begin with.
Getting a faint recollection of being in a department store, like a

Macy's or Sears kind of place. This was much earlier. Something
intense happened in this dream but I cannot remember what it
was. I don’t remember what coffee I eventually got, but I couldn't
tell them that I wasn't able to drink it due to my health and what
time of night it was. I remember walking up and down the stairs
feeling really tired and really upset that I got that coffee, cause I
said "no one will understand how screwed I get up when I'm tired
having not slept,” saying stuff like that in my head, thinking it. I
was pissed off when Asia took my blanket. She kept doing stuff
like that without permission. First she tried to sleep in my room.
Me and Isaac were out in public before we returned to the house.
I remember walking down the street in the midnight hour:
• Some kid just yelled at me: "Something something something spir-

itual standard of a dusty ax?!" like "Do you know the spiritual stan-
dard...?"
My grandmother was saying "I do this for you, I do this for you,
and this is all I want,” and I interjected "I never even said I would
stop playing cards with you. I’m just saying that it would be eas-
ier for me if done in another way and divided into smaller ses-
sions." There was a little party with us when we went to get cof-
fee. I don't know who. And I had my driver's license with me, and
someone remarked how strange it was for me to actually have it
on me today. For some reason I had to use it to get my coffee. I
was questioning the barista. It was around midnight, and I was
asking to know the the difference between two or three of the
drinks.
When Isaac and I met again I was standing outside yelling some-
thing ‘blasphemous’ about how messed up religious people are
and why they believe in God. I feel like there was just someone
who was not understanding something and considered my posi-
tion bad—this weird guy in his thirties. He was kind of faceless
and expressionless, and this was early on, before Isaac, and he
was just a weird guy who either worked for me or the other way
around.
There was an upper story of a mall, a department store. I feel like

there were some valuable symbols and information in that part.
Because I was looking around, something I still needed to be do-
ing. I think I remember going up and down the escalators. It was
kind of that entrance between the foyer and the actual mall. That
final fifty feet is where the jewelry counter is.
“BIRDS OF PREY”
08/05/2013
There were these two trucks. The blue truck was ahead of the
other. And there was another blue truck guy here where we were
(in the parking lot below the rooftop).
We were trying to keep these buildings open when they were try-
ing to tear it down. On top of this building I was sitting with
him, this girl and this child. And at the bottom of the building
on a lower level there was a school that they would introduce
me to soon. Just these people who were very kind looking. There
were different birds of prey that he kept inviting. Earlier in the
dream I thought that was cool. But I didn't want to see any birds
of prey now. So I stayed under this strange nook, crawl space in
the wall that had weird rungs over the entryway, like a jail cell
or crib. So I had to fit myself into it strangely. It was about two
feet high, long enough to fit my body and then some, and it was
about two feet deep. I remember when the main guy that was up
here with us had left to go do some errands. We had been wait-
ing for someone to show up because then we could start (?) upon
time. That was it, everything we were searching after. First there
was some other really strange bird. And I saw that and it was
crazy. But then I was thinking maybe it was not as crazy of a bird
as we thought originally. In the end, right before he left, he like...
summoned this really powerful "mare" bird. It moved like a hum-
mingbird (or maybe that's the previous one)
I think the number 58 was attributed to these people I was with.

That guy went to do something for a while, so I spoke to the
young woman, probably in her early thirties. We were talking,
and I don’t remember what was happening, but I tried to con-
480
vince her to embrace me, but she kept telling me that she would
not go to me while I stayed within that prisony crawlspace and
that if I wanted to be embraced I had to come on out and over to
her and the child.
I remember I was just sitting there looking at four birds floating

around on the ceiling, and everything in this place was close to-
gether. Some kind of opera house and some kind of laser house.
All the cool places. At one point the whole opera house and laser
house... that doesn't make much sense. They were right next to
us. Then there was a playground on one side of us,where all these
kids were playing and they were going to take me down there and
introduce me to the man who was caring for all fo the kids, and
I remember seeing in my mind what it would be like were we to
meet, seeing psychically myself being introduced to them. And I
was imagining myself bowing to the man, although this was my
imagination.
But those blue trucks were coming to tell us it was time to shut
down and to tell us it was time to stop doing stuff. I don’t know
who they were but they had authority in that department, like
park rangers, “So we were annoyed or nervous or something."
I feel like there was some part where I offended a young woman.
I kind of remember a hallway and a beverage machine. There was
one part where people were building this playset. I feel like it was
in a place where I had a more childish role. “Like living in a lit-
tle world"? I'm pretty sure a girl was in it in the beginning. I am
not sure of the context. But I was trying to save her from some-
thing. Trying to explain to her friends and family why I was tak-
ing her away or why she needed something else that she wasn't
getting. I feel like I was fighting with this older guy, like my par-
ents' age.I remember when I was trying to get that woman to em-
brace me. I was inside the crawlspace and I asked "Can you come
in here?" and she said "I'm not going in there."But out there,
it wasn't enough to come outside of the hideaway but I had to
come to the very edge of the building where she stood and I re-
member trying to do it and I had a hard time handling it. It was
the very edge, so not only did it look like I would fall but I knew
that when that bird of prey returned that it would be that much
closer.flew like a hummingbird. It would hover and then zip, very
stop-and-start-y.
I feel like there were some horror elements in the beginning.

Something morbid and graphic.
• Water pourer and happy saxophone hallucinations hypnagogic
Delivery man/Ixe cream man truck coming with another blue

truck driving behind it. Pulling into the parking lot where I was
sitting with this guy. Saying "Man, I tell you, that ixe cream truck
driver he always seems he has a lot of power... because there
are always the ones of those...seems like peoples schedules and
things..."
I said “The ixe cream truck driver and the guy who works at the
bowling alley always have so much power because they deter-
mine how time moves forward,” and I had a very specific reason
for why this was so, but it's difficult to describe.
“MOUSE GIRL”
08/12/2013
There were mice. I went around catching mice. I saw a mouse in
my room, reached out and grabbed it with my hand, and then
brought it out on the back deck and it just stayed there, not
putting up much resistance. And when I came out later in the af-
ternoon it was still sitting out there, except it had now seemed to
fashion a hat out of a small piece of watermelon rind.
And something about someone shooting smoke signals in the

air, forming a message. I wasn't able to read them and so I had
to ask someone else what they said but I cannot remember what
they were.
Something happened after I was on the deck for a while with

the mouse. At one point I think there were two, and something
was going on—some kind of extinction—and we were on an
island and the species was growing extinct or something and
somehow this one got saved. I wanted to keep them safe and I
brought them around. Eventually they turned into a person, a
young woman. I just remember us encouraging each other and
for like an hour and twenty minutes I was so extremely com-
posed, being really cool. I helped her with some task. I was sitting
there busy with something else, she came to me, asked for help,
and I did it, no problem, and it seemed so cool of me. I can't re-
member what it was, though.
I kissed her outside, on the side of the house, and I recall think-
ing her lips were so small (not disproportionate so—just in con-
trast to my lips).
483
(Dog & Mean in latin?)
We took off into some other room because my father was coming
to take us back. People asking "Where were you guys?" We were
just hanging out in this one room talking. I don't remember
much about her but something about her impressed me. And we
were asking each other all these questions. I was asking "Was it a
measure of time or was it a measure of distance?" and then they
said "What's for dinner?!"
Oh, and the measurement was ‘urges’, ‘In her urges’. I don’t know.
“BROKEN TAPE PLAYER”
08/14/2013
• “I'm so stupid, I could breathe fire."
• My father took my dressy shirt from me. I liked the way it looked
and I was trying to get him to give it back ‘cause he was talking
back and I wanted it back because it was cold. Asia was on the liv-
ing room couch this whole time. Me and him were in the kitchen by
the counter. I said "If you must take my shirt then you might as well
take my pants too!"
• Guy said "Magical artifacts! It's also a worthwhile collection, cap-

tain!" (or whatever that last word was that he called him by). He
was dumping a bunch of things out onto a table for a guy to see.
The guy was like a king or something, the one who was sitting down
while the traveler unloaded his cloth sack. And the king says "A
shark's tooth? That doesn't look to have any worth or value like the
others,” and the guy says "Yes, but it's been cursed. It's been in the
care of several ritual magicians over the past century and some-
thingsomethingsomething."And that was the main thing in the bag
but the king didn't know it, and that was interesting because the
king had a private interest in mysticism and I could tell by the way
that he eyed the tooth that was more interested than he was letting
on (no one knew about his interest but me. Watch from a third per-
son perspective, as if I was watching a movie).
• He stole the tooth from me somewhere along the way; I wasn't

aware of it at the time. Then tried to sell it as a cursed magician's
tooth. But I was the original owner and this scene was depicting
what became of the tooth after it left my possession.
485
My mother was accusing me of something. Breaking my tape

recorder. Play along like that was true. That time I jumped up for
a kiss from that girl but got pushed away because she didn't want
to do it until she had time to think about it. So I backed off.
In the beginning I was very upset about something. She came in

with something to be delivered to me. I don’t know what hap-
pened, but she was touching around my back with her hands and
I was about a second from climaxing.
I was in my black boxer shorts and my mother walked in and

because I realized it looked really bad, the situation, I took off
running as fast as could be thinking "Wow there's no way to ex-
plain this one." I feel like I remember guilting the girl. Maybe I
wouldn’t call it “guilting”, but I told her “This would make every-
thing that much easier." I locked myself in a hotel room (though
it was my bedroom... maybe bathroom).I remember my mom
and the girl talking through the door, and I heard the girl crack-
ing up laughing loudly, saying "I can't believe he just screwed all
of that up after all that time in trying to get it to work."
"What?"
"His tape player. He just freaking broke his last player and now
he can't play the tape he just borrowed."
I remember about the girl planning on leaving for New Jersey

because her friends were going, and I ended up getting upset,
but in the end she didn't go because she didn't have the finances.
My parents had originally gotten upset, saying "You haven't been
here the whole month and now you want to take off again?"
I remember in the beginning I walked into another room, a room

I didn't know was there, but connected two other rooms in the
house, and I saw her sitting on a couch and I was delirious with
insomnia and she seemed upset with me about something. I re-

member putting these huge holes in the door (of my parents bed-
room) while they were watching a movie upstairs, and my moth-
er and father freaked out later. I was in bed for like the first half
of the dream, unable to fall asleep. I took my dose, got everything
ready, and got into bed. Jeiezza was there.
"I can't do this, I'm still wide awake."
And I found some weird things on my computer. Went out and

had another cigarette. Don't know what happened but I got re-
ally sidetracked. Then I found this other room where the girl
was asleep in a chair (from before). Almost looked like Patrick's
downstairs exercise room.
My dad came out when I was punching. He saw me do it and

started yelling in surprise. And I don’t know how I got away
with that one, but my mom was calling him upstairs to finish the
movie and so he left. And it was a completely different house and
didn’t look anything like my own house. This was the downstairs
level I am referring to and it resembled a reasonably nice hotel.
Then I went back to my room and tried to fall asleep. Got into
bed, didn’t work. Got up, walked around. This is when I heard
the New Jersey conversation.
I feel like the mouse returned in my dream again. That might

have been what I was chasing when I found the other room in
the house
So anyway, that girl was cracking up, saying what she was saying
about the tape player so as to cover for the situation and that my
parents didn't think I was doing what I was or what it looked
like I was doing, rather. I was in the room doing I don’t know
what. I remember scowling at my mother cruelly when running
away down the hallway while she tried to block me. But then I
got behind the closed door and began putting something togeth-
er. I don't know what. I might have been eating. I can recall eat-
ing something very strange in this dream. I can't recall what I did
in my room, but next time I came out all of them were standing
right there in the hallway, though not waiting for me. I walked
forward and saw that my mother and the girl were having a con-
versation and my father was standing further down almost as if
inspecting the situation. And I was looking for my notepad and
laid down on the floor with a pen and pad and started writing.
"I can't believe how stupid I was having just broken my cassette
player and now can't play the tape that I Just found and so I have
to find another way to go about extracting the data I'm looking
for."
(By the way I also recall lying in the family room in Londonber-
ry, just lying on the couches in the downstairs room. Might have
been where I spent the earlier parts of dream)
So I was writing in this book and the girl walked over, needing to
tell me something, looking kind of nervous, looking like she was
intending to whisper to me what the deal and what the plan was,
and then she looked over my shoulder at what I was writing and
she smiled, because even from the other end of the door I caught
on to what her whole matter of deception was. So I guess I got
the details right if she smiled and walked away
I might have even brought it up once more with my mother or

father, saying "Do you guys have any stereos you’re not using? I
just broke my cassette player." In case it has not been made clear,
there was nothing to do with cassettes in this dream, this was all
a cover up for whatever I was actually doing in that room.
I remember my mom freaking out at one point but I don’t know

what for. It was around the time I was trying to fall asleep. I really
beat up that wall. Like two or three different times. Something
about music too. I think that girl was listening to something and
I came in and switched it to something else, like Opera, ‘cause I
preferred that, and she was playing some folk scum.
I don’t remember the specific circumstances of the girl, but there

was something really strange and she was staying with us, for
some reason it would have been bad if we were together, and so
I am imagining that she was supposed to be a relative or some-
thing (no one that I've known in reality)
“URCHIN BALL”
09/13/2013
Having emptied out my bedroom. Matt M showed up. Us all
drawing pictures of stuff like Swords (being redundant by play-
ing the same sword at the end) I had emptied out my room so
that I could die in peace but then Matt showed up and we started
talking and I started feeling self-conscious because it was emp-
ty so I started putting some of it back. He hadn't changed like
any at all / Isaac in it at one point? Jumping across rooftops?
Demons? I remember calling him Urchin Ball, which is very
strange since I haven't remembered that nickname in about seven
or eight years... it was associated with Gravedancers and he got it
from a toy at the dollar store.
490
“CROWDED THEATER”
09/24/2013
Sitting the place with the girl who resembled Anita showing up
after a while and looking for a place to sit next to me, but I was
already sitting next to another girl and so we tried to arrange the
seating by moving around
Youth group people showing up. Some guy put his finger in the
hole in the bag pretending it’s candy. “Yeah, those get pink even-
tually. You're supposed to eat them before that point." and I re-
member thinking I could have done better with a comeback even
though I knew that this guy laughed at anything. Having swal-
lowing problems. The seat in this one room was a swinging seat
and I remember hoping it didn't smell because it never dried af-
ter it got wet (properly anyway). I sat with these two girls, one
on each side at the theater. We were trying to arrange the seats so
that one got at each side. Outside...
Making some joke that I knew I used... when speaking to some-

one else?
Something about death. I remember also wearing a hoodie that

wasn't washed appropriately, so it smelled strange and wet and I
was a little bit embarrassed and I was sitting with Jeiezza watch-
ing a movie in a crowded theater and then I remember Anita
standing in the aisle calling to me and I looked over at my left
and got excited but realized there were no seats, so I had to try
to figure out how to make this work since I didn't want to seem
an outright jerk to Jeiezza. So I got up and said "Okay let's go to
the left section of the divide in the room" but then me and Anita
went over there and sat down and Jeiezza couldn't find a seat and
491
we were disrupting the performance trying to figure this out, and

it was so annoying since it wasn’t possible that they could both
sit next to me at the same time, and so we found a different, pa-
tio like room altogether. I sort of remember the movie but it was
too abstract to be described
Scene with me standing outside in the dark with my parents on

a walk. Scene with me walking around the side of the house with
that one girl
There were mice in it earlier in the dream? I'm pretty sure I can
remember catching one with my hand and walking around with
it. Something notable happened here but I cannot remember. I
kept walking in and out of the bathroom after all those guys were
walking around passing around candy and I thought I was about
to choke because I knew there was a weird time delay between
my having eaten the candy and it getting to me.
“BLANKET ON HER HAIR”
10/06/2013
There was a party going on in the basement of this big
house—my sister’s farewell party, perhaps. Many people had
gathered and I was walking around talking to people. One time
I was in one room and my sister tried to clean out the freezer
for stuff. Getting ready to move and taking what she needed
with her. This was in the basement. There was another time she
walked into my room when I think I was getting ready to get
changed and I got very upset. Anyway at the party later I forget
what was happening but I left the room at one point, just kind
of lurking around the hall looking for something to do. Got in a
couple of conversations at one point but it was just kind of bor-
ing or annoying me. And K was there, and there were all these
people from New Jersey... people I knew when young... People
from Calvary... and I was hoping they wouldn’t recognize that
I was me. I was walking around doing my own thing. A lot of
subplots. But the one I'm thinking of now was the last one...be-
fore the end... When K was hanging around I don’t remember
why, but she wanted to talk about something... asking for help
with something and she wanted a quiet place to talk about it...
so we were walking through the house toward my bedroom, and
I thought "Huh?" because I didn't make her head that way, she
was kind of leading the way, and I was surprised she was lead-
ing me into my own bedroom. Something happened with my
mother earlier too. She was being ridiculous and goofy at the
party and it was really concerning. Anyway me and K in my
room, we walked inside, and I didn’t expect to take her there so
I freaked out, and I said "Can I just put this blanket on your
head for like just a minute while I make sure nothing embarrass-
493
ing is around?" because we walked in and there were toys and

stuff all over the place... it was my childhood room in New Jersey,
and it still looked much the same... There were Pokémon dolls
all over the room. but I was like "oh my gosh" this looks like a
kid's room... "can you put this on your head?" and she's like "Iiiii
guuuess so" but while she was saying that all drawn out she was
still taking peaks around so I was like "Stop it! Stop it!" and I
kept putting the blanket on her head and she would peek up a lit-
tle. (Worried about wine bottles, didn't see them anywhere) The
next thing I knew, she's lying on my bed, and I thought "Why
there!?!" and I don’t remember what happened but we were talk-
ing for a few minutes, and then my father walks in with a broom
and a bucket and apparently he's been cleaning... and he removed
the empty wine bottles I was hoarding, but he was still cleaning
and I got really upset thinking that he took advantage of each
and every little situation I left my room. Was it him or my mom
that I had to drag out by their shirt? And then there was that
part where my mom came up to me complaining about the par-
ty, "I don’t like what's going on down there. What can you tell
me about the people?" but she used a term for the people at the
party, something unusual like ' 'sailors'', she asked "do you know
a guy named this?" there was also this one time where I was talk-
ing to someone, probably K, and I felt really like I might have
been too sciency... kind of self-conscious of my use of technical
terms... and I thought it was really strange because she was re-
layed to someone else I knew, and I thought this was weird be-
cause I didn't know what she thought of me and if she knew I was
this way... and I was trying to be extra nice, but I don’t know...I
just remember that when we were finally alone to ourselves, lying
in bed together, I was like "Hold on just a second" and I ran over
and opened up a cabinet or desk drawer nearby, and pulled out
what seemed to be blueprints to some spaceship or something...
or some kind of machine. And it was real, something I was really

working on making, not like a model or something. So we laid
in bed and I showed her these blueprints. Sounded really nerdy.
I remember hanging out in the basement for a while in the be-
ginning... There were just people everywhere... it was strange, but
especially strange that she wanted to talk... and it didn’t seem
like she was trying to just get me alone and in my room or any-
thing suggestive... she was really just seeming naïve as to the un-
orthodoxy of these circumstances. When she jumped in my bed
I thought gosh... When I finally shooed everyone away and when
my mom came up all concerned I think I shoved her out... and I
was like "You better stay back I don’t like the way you're acting"
and she said "Do you know this guy down there named Farrier?"
and this reminds me, K was also talking about comedy movies
and how she's never missed this certain series of comedy movies,
and asked me about them, and I said "Yeah I remember some of
them from a while ago but don’t really watch movies for the past
half a decade." she didn't seem to have many interesting things to
say. I was hoping she would engage me with something cool in
conversation. We essentially just laid in bed talking. All the lights
were on, everything normal. I think I offered to make her a drink
or some food, and I was being very gentlemanly, and not lasciv-
ious or anything. It just kept going wrong... and when my mom
came back later I was like (to K) "okay, freaking put this blan-
ket on top of you over again" she seemed fine with it though. I
said I'll be right back and tried to get rid of my mom. I thought
this would be terrible if my mom saw the way this looked... She
would freak out but not in an angry way but in an annoying way
like "Oooooooooohhhhh" and taunt me, like an idiot child. So
that took several minutes... And then I just remember my dad
walked in once more and cleaned... while I was talking to my
mom he made his way back into my room. And I got mad and
said "I told you to wait until the fucking party is over" and when
I went back in there I sat on the bed and started talking to her,
and I started feeling around on the bed thinking... wait... which
mattress are you lying on? ‘Cause there seemed to be several, all
of different heights... or some were stacked on top of others... and
I was like "Where are you hiding?" I felt around and everything
felt completely flat and nobody was in there... and I remember
there was a small, half inch or inch high crack between two mat-
tress where there were a bunch of plates and things sandwiched
between the two, and I was thinking in my mind "I remember
saying about this mattress... something about the crack between
them... how it’s barely there but it still matters/counts." a line
kind of like that. I even lifted that up and looked even though it
was such a small crack, and I just couldn't find her. I know that a
few minutes earlier when I was coming back into my room, when
I was still trying to get my father out, I remember the dog comes
running inside ‘cause a mouse was running across, and that’s the
last time I remember looking up and seeing her on my bed, I was
like "aahhh, there’s a mouse" I looked at her... She was being very
quiet... You’d think she'd be a little funner. And by fun I mean en-
ergetic. She seemed just tired. She was getting a little funner to-
ward the end, opening up more, but she seemed concerned about
something... I don’t remember. Something about her brother?
Something about this party? I don’t know... I just felt pretty cool
though. I also remember when the two of us were first heading
through the house and to my room, we were walking through
a doorway... the kitchen doorway or something, and there were
these two people I apparently knew from New Jersey entering
through the doorway at the same time pretty much and so I re-
member thinking “Oh God... I'm walking with someone who's
very small.” Not like she's really small in real life... but the age dif-
ference felt very apparent. (I think she’s only three years younger
than me so it’s not that weird I guess) and so while we passed by

I can recall having turned my face down and let my head hang
low so that they could not see my face at all... I remember we
had to pass RIGHT by them..., and it was very awkward, ‘cause
I felt like they slowed down and looked a little bit. and I remem-
ber standing at another point, in the basement when I first start-
ed talking to her... I wish I remembered more about the base-
ment. There were guys and girls down there, most of the people
my age hanging out. They were just doing lots of drugs. That's
one of the things my mom was flipping out about when having
come upstairs to speak with me before... she was like "Do you
know Farrier? He's putting drugs in people's drinks. He's cook-
ing brownies filled with animal crackers,” and then she had one
in her hand, bit into it, and showed it to me, exposing the melted
crackers on the inside, and it actually looked kind of tasty) and
I was like "Yeah... he's this this this." I don’t think I thought too
highly of him but I didn’t think of him as being a terrible guy,
but he was causing trouble apparently. Just too much trouble for
someone else’s house. I really don’t know who he was though. A
lot of the girls usually liked him. It was weird... it seemed the girls
either liked him or me. We were "the cool guys' ' present, except
I wasn't even supposed to be part of the party. I was just slink-
ing around behind the scenes, just like helping with maintenance
and stuff, making sure people were enjoying themselves... like a
waiter... not really, I just walked around observing pretty much...
I just remember I had a really nice outfit on... I remember feel-
ing the collar of the shirt. Dressy outfit... black long sleeve dress
shirt. Brown or black fancy pants.
My hair looked really great. I remember while K was talking to

me I looked down and thought I looked good! I remember be-
ing bothered when my sister was getting stuff out of the freez-
er. Popsicles and stuff mostly. But it bothered me that she would
do that right in front of me. I remember something with Nanny

and Poppop. I remember seeing a video of me from the previous
year... In the video it was showing me from my backside, and I
had removed my shirt, and I had rather long hair, down to my
shoulder blades... and my back was covered in gigantic clusters of
sores and hives... it was freaky looking. Giant and red... I talked
with my grandma for a while. We were doing something with her
phone.She kept trying to show me something on there but I for-
get what it was. She kept trying to take something from me and
talk into it. I'm like "That's not what you do with it" I forget what
I was holding but it was something that was supposed to... what
was that? I had something in my hand that had something inside
of it and I was trying to let it out... Was it a drink? A machine?
and she kept taking it from me and trying to open it up and not
knowing what it was. "What are you doing!?!? That's not what
you think it is." I wish I could remember. I wish I could remem-
ber more stuff about Farrier.
I remember after being embarassed about Pokémon stuff, K was

talking and I thought perhaps she also likes Pokémon. My grand-
parents and my uncle were in the basement doing stuff. My fa-
ther’s boss was there, too. We were having a conversation (grand-
father). He heard something in the house that resembled one of
my philosophies. He heard something or heard a tape and he was
like "Yeah, something something something something,” but he
had the word spiritual or spirit in it, and I gave a kind of laugh
kind of agitated eeehhh noise, I asked "Can you not figure out
all your little ways to work your word “spiritual” into it?" and he
just kept going... my dad was talking too but I think I can re-
member him shooting me a glance at that point. It was just a very
mental/psychological philosophy, that I really liked but he was
taking it and making it his own and involving all his nonsensi-
cal spiritual stuff. And it was annoying me because it was totally
ruining the objective qualities of it... missing the purpose of the

whole thing in doing that, too. Anyway, after all that, I remem-
ber helping Asia with something else earlier on... I wish I remem-
bered what K wanted. She was really bothered by something at
first, seeming really confused and looking for something, asking
for my help... I just happened to be standing there, "Are you al-
right?" "Heeeyy. I juuust don’t know what to do about this." and
so she asked for my help. And I don’t know why she led me back
to my bedroom since she was clearly naive to anything weird,
even when she jumped into my bed, even though she wasn't all
too young. I forget. These are all just the ending scenes that I re-
member. Something big went on at the beginning that I’ve for-
gotten but it probably wasn't all big a deal. I remember when I
was in the basement I was talking to some guy who had been in-
jured, not in this place, but injured before he came here... and he
might have had a cast on, something was wrong and I was try-
ing to help him with something he couldn't do otherwise? Yeah
I got really pissed off once the dog flipped out, saw the mouse,
chased it in my bedroom into the crack by the door/wall. It was
just chaotic and bothered me alot. And I thought, ``Where did
it go? Then the dog ran out into the hallway, rubbing her face
against the wall while she did so, so we assumed it made its way
out of my room. But I was really afraid it would run towards
K and she would freak out or something, but it didn't, and she
never seemed bothered by its presence anyway, acting very se-
dated. Kinda apathetic. In the basement in the beginning there
was a lot to do with us standing around talking... His boss was
there and me and him were talking... We were just standing there
with drinks or something, or I was standing with my weird sil-
ver contraption that I've mentioned. Tall, also. Looks like a piece
of ventilation or something, like a round piece. I think I also
had a job and was stressed out about something. I think other
people were talking about schooling. I can't remember a lot of

these conversations... This was before most of the other partygo-
ers came... Most of the time was in the basement. Tables, refrig-
erators, dezinezinet.
“GRADUATION CEREMONY”
10/08/2013
There was that girl I was racing against at the end. We were all in
a line to get some diploma or something of that sort and I didn’t
know where to go and then I went into a one line next to a dark-
skinned male while everyone my age took off walking to go to
the stage and so I tried to find a spot in line and get in between
these two girls but I couldn't. I was wearing a brown coat, and
everything got messed up. I forget why. But I remember racing a
white girl, even though I wasn't supposed to, we were all running
inside. We delayed too long in doing something and she had to
give a speech, and someone said 'The white coats, not the brown
coats,” like the seniors or something. I remember being outside
my house. It was dark out. This is earlier on...
But in the end I was talking about the movie Good Burger when
we went out on stage and looked out into the audience, I whis-
pered it to the dark skinned man "That girl was in Good Burger"
"Which one?" he asked. “The one that dated Ed" or something
like that. I was going to turn and say it to someone else but I re-
frained, thinking it was maybe stupid.
Anyway, I was in my driveway here in this house (Charldon), but

it didn’t feel like it, it was really wacky. My dad was at the end
of the driveway with some people I remember... all these people
grew up, and I remember some people like... they were just stand-
ing on the deck waiting for me, some of these people just walk-
ing around... I don’t remember what happened but that doesn't
sound ANYTHING like what it was, even though I didn't say
anything inaccurate... I remember sitting at a LARGE dinner
table before we had to run going to the ceremony. It was just
501
always awkward, every time I turned to talk to people, I never

knew what kind of response I would get. Then at the end there
was a time we were all walking around these rooms. Awkward
everytime I talk to someone. Like they didn't know anything I
was talking about was... There was a death at the end too, and
I think I made a joke about it. At the very end... like a death
right in a normal place... There was a part where I walked in-
to this woman's hotel room... weird sculptures on the shelves...
just this hotel hall or something up the stairs... I walked into her
room with her... Why, though? But I was allowed. I don’t know
why. She called me in and let me stay or something. At first she
seemed older but I don’t think she was much older at all. And
they were in a different rank than us... kind of official people. It
was like a school, and they were in a higher position than peo-
ple in my position. I think I remember making some laboratory
jokes? whatever that means. I remember digging outside at one
point... digging a hole... There were girls in the end... It was just
absolutely bizarre. Trying to remember what it was like at that
table. There was some weird part with a buffet... It didn't feel like
a buffet, but we got to go around picking our own food, and I
totally messed up, getting things I didn’t want the most. This de-
scription sounds absolutely stupid... I just can't translate it into
words. There was a weird condescending feel from the adults in
this one, when in my driveway. Some of the parents looked at me
weird when I walked by. Something screwy, I was totally a bad
person and a good person at the same time. I remember stand-
ing in a line at the end, and I was just standing there, and they're
like "QUICK! Now you have to go over and do this" and I didn’t
know if I went into the wrong line at the wrong time. I ran for-
ward... To our right there was a place where we all marched out
onto the platform and stood before a huge body of people... I
might have moved at the wrong time and in the wrong direction,
into the line next to the dark skinned guy, but they were like staff,
white coat people... and I looked around and saw all the people
I was with already moving out, and I thought "am I in the wrong
spot? Am I standing with the faculty and I’m not supposed to?"
I remember being in the bathroom at one point too. The whole
premise was that I was not a normal existence, in and of myself.
Something was very wrong with my existence. I knew too much
about things I had never seen before. I’m almost willing to say I
was actually lucid but I don’t believe that this was the case with
this particular dream. Something about someone wearing a coat.
This sounds ridiculous, doesn’t even make sense... it does... but I
can think of it... a person wearing a particular coat. I went to say
something to him and ... I don’t know. Something about a large
animal I said... I can't think of a particular girl I liked. There were
a few I thought were cool... I feel like there was one part, I don’t
know if it was a girl or just a best friend, but someone who I was
very close with... I had to watch something very cruel and weird
happen to them right in front of me and I couldn’t do anything
about it... It was very unusual. Its details were absolutely insane,
in this dream. The deck at our house was the scene for much of
the first half.
There were many people just standing there lined up talking. Felt
like a festive setting. Just an outdoor nighttime get-together over
and over again.
I think we were graduating college, but I was confused because I

didn’t go to college. I think that’s what it was. I just showed up
at the end, and everyone else already knew each other, and I was
graduating anyway... but it wasn’t that simple... because I missed
out on the shared experience with them.
What did I say about "reaction" at one point? "It would be better
if you would all react in this way then in this way," and it was
something very "Oooh, he should not have said that." It was
something gross, as well as inappropriate...
“COBRA COP COSTUME”
10/08/2013
There was that guy walking around the store wearing a hat that
appeared similar to my purple newsboy cap, and I stopped him
to point that out, saying "Whoa, you have the same hat I have,
I've not seen anyone else with it." "Yeah do you want to try it on?"
and he handed it to me even though I didn't care. While I wore it
I couldn't see in front of me for some reason, and the whole time
I heard him saying "It's a flop, haha, it's a flop." Something like
that. And I thought "Why does he keep saying that?" but said
nothing more about it. But when I took the hat off a minute lat-
er, he was wearing a similar hat of different color, but its shape
had been transformed. It resembled my father's lunchbox cooler.
Then I remember he just didn't mind if I walked away with this
one ‘cause he had another one he was wearing. I don’t know what
happened here but it seemed I was unable to find my way out of
the store. I walked around for a few minutes before returning,
and in the corner I found the purple hat, as well as his checkered
flannel orange/yellow/gold jacket and a t-shirt. But he had trans-
formed the purple hat into something else... I guess to show me
how there was more to it, and now it looked like a police offi-
cer hat, so I got all enthusiastic "AWESOME! A POLICE OF-
FICER HAT!" (though the guy was totally gone and nowhere
to be found). So I put it on my head and went walking into a
nearby room and checked myself out in the mirror, but soon I
realized it had a giant snake sculpt coming out of the top of it,
which it didn't have originally, and it resembled a mohawk from
the front, but was a giant snake figure curled and with its mouth
open and all amazing. From the front it was also soft until I pat-
ted it down...
505
So what was that weird party I was leaving earlier... I remember

Sam and Tyler and all these other people from the youth group,
we were all playing games in like a homegroup/youth group set-
ting. I was looking for Asia but she was in an upstairs room with
the house owner's daughter, but the upstairs was also a store. In
the bottom of the building was a normal quaint house, and then
up the stairs it led into what seemed a small market, a lot brighter
than the lower level, but if you turn right at the top of the stair-
case there was another staircase guarded by the old man who
owned the house, and apparently his daughter's room was just up
those stairs and he was guarding it... not intensely guarding it,
but just checking what was going on, and so people were com-
ing by and saying "I know your daughter, can I come up?" and he
would permit their entrance without so much as a question or
inspection (as far as I could tell). I knew my sister was up there.
I had no reason to go up there, being that I didn't care to see
his daughter. I think that's where a lot of people went after the
youth group party. I remember a video someone was playing on
their phone of me standing there on the sidewalk with this girl
at nighttime, I was wearing a leather jacket and really tight pants
and she had a white coat on, I knew we were faking something in
the photo or video, like in my mind I had memories of "we not
being together. Just a pretend couple" To me it didn't look too
convincing but everyone else thought we looked great and that it
was funny. Looked like that girl Sarah from camp.
There was also that guy at the end like Arnold who was walking
around with that little girl and they kept getting into little spats
and arguments about what to do and where to go, and he was
telling her to separate from him and them both to go different
ways, and I was standing there with my cop hat listening in on
the conversation and just standing there... I remember thinking
"Man... I haven't changed my clothes in so long and I can't be-
lieve how changing your outfit changes you completely. This is

amazing, I should change my clothes more often! It's like a whole
new world!" and then I went out and I was worried that I would
be apprehended for impersonating an officer. I remember in the
beginning of the dream walking around outside the party house,
like a weird oil field in the dark, and I remember touching my
hair, and I remember that it was down, not sprayed up in its nor-
mal position, but it did have spray in it, evidenced by some stiffer
patches in certain areas, I felt like it had some bangs to it and that
it didn’t look good. Anyway, when that girl and guy were talk-
ing about separating, and I remember thinking about how when
going downstairs it was very very easy to get lost, and I knew
that these persons had had a problem with that before, think-
ing this would be a problem for them ‘cause it was before, now it
was like a completely different building altogether, no home on
the first floor. I remember thinking about that old guys opinion
about me. I remember feeling weird walking around their house,
even though all of us were from the youth group in the same
age range, I remember walking around the door feeling I looked
suspicious... And I remember their pet dog escaped through the
door because the person I was leaving with held it open too long,
and I went out and they're like “Oh no, oh no!” and I grabbed it
with one hand and brought it back in. Someone tried to wrangle
it before I did but had no success. Then I went out and grabbed it
on the first shot with one hand, my hand going around its mid-
section since it was small. But I felt weird standing there by the
door. I had a lit cigarette in the house and I remember just hold-
ing it in my hand, holding it by the butt and tipping it down,
walking around looking at the ground, and I felt like they might
think I was a shady person even though I was just quiet. I re-
member they were watching something I did. There were fun-
ny anecdotes they were giving about things I had also. Anyway
at the end, the girl and guy were separating, she didn't want to
get separated though, and since I knew they wouldn't be able to
find their way out of the place, I thought I would intercept the
girl... She was just a young girl, I felt like I was competing with
this guy even though I have no idea why... it was probably just
her father... I remember standing near the stairwell just waiting
for them, and I forget what I did, but he had a giant fucking pure
white bazooka on his shoulder that he was carrying around, and
it looked like some kind of mailer tube but it was totally a pro-
jectile weapon.
He was standing there talking with her and I stood waiting, they
didn't know I was there. I totally looked like a villain though,
with my cobra cop hat... So I'm standing there suspiciously in the
doorway at the end of the floor, and it takes you down the stair-
case, and I’m watching them... but I started laughing or made a
comment from the doorway and when I was laughing at them
for something they said, I remember they both turned and no-
ticed me and the guy pointed his projectile weapon right at me,
and I thought "ooooooohhhh" and woke up just then I think.
It was funny though. I wasn't even trying to avoid being suspi-
cious or pissing them off. I looked like the village people... some
type of freaky, flamboyant icon and villain. It was awesome. But
what happened... I remember I was standing outside of the house
part... in the beginning... We were sitting around in the youth
group, then the whole dog thing, then my father was supposed to
show up and pick me up, and I remember thinking about... I also
remember thinking I had some of those two people’s memories
when I was standing there, thinking "every time they go down
there they get lost." Anyway, I think I also had some scenes going
through my head when I walked outside. There were things that
happened outside at night time when I stepped into the yard but
I can’t remember them clearly enough to describe... I might have
been waiting for my father. I had something going through my

head.
After that I returned indoors, and some people left, not many
people left inside. So I went up the staircase into the market sec-
tion... and was just walking around there, and that’s when I saw
the second staircase, but didn’t even try to get clearance because
I figured they thought I was creepy, even though they never gave
me any looks or anything that could make me think that, I just
assumed it out of paranoia, they were just two nice old people
who owned this place. I just felt I was not representing myself
well... like in the end of the homegroup part I felt I looked all
too dangerous. In the beginning I was just sitting on the couch...
I might have gotten some snacks at one point. So instead of go-
ing up those stairs, I turned and walked around the supermarket,
then saw the hat guy. I was standing there doing something else,
talking to someone else at the time... and perhaps another person
in this hall that looked like either someone my dad works with
or whoever... I was talking to someone, then I saw the Toby guy
leaving the room and I stopped him, saying "Whoooa!" "I have
that hat! "and I thought it had a little less black on the bill but
then realized I was wrong. And he made me try it on, and I was
thinking "no need too, already have it" but he seemed all to ea-
ger for me to wear it (so he could demonstrate) and then the flop
part. (I know I'm repeating myself, I'm just giving a chronology)
it also had flaps on the side, the hat HE was wearing (so maybe
that's what he meant by flop? and not just flop but also COP?
is that where that came from?). He was already gone by the next
time I looked up. And the people who I was originally talking
to before I saw him were standing there the whole time at my
left, and they were probably wondering why I was so interested
in this, and in front of us there was just a typical store aisle, but
only one.
In the beginning when I was standing on the deck with some of

my friends at the time, they were showing off these pictures and
things of me with that girl, like I said. I didn’t like the way my
hair looked in the picture, even though it was very hard to see
due to it being midnight in the image and my hair was almost
obscured by the night. it looked like the way my hair would look
after a very long day of not being able to keep it up. I feel like
I went out to the yard... it felt like a floor underneath another
floor... It felt like there were oil tubs I was stepping on top of. So
anyway while I was looking at these pictures of myself and the
girl, I remember thinking of the whole backstory, thinking "We
look together, but only I know the true facts, and the true facts
are that she always seemed to burst to life when we were seen to-
gether but really she didn't like being touched and didn't want to
get too close to me or anybody," and I remember thinking some-
thing like that. But everyone was going on about how much of
a cool couple we were and I didn’t want to tell them otherwise,
and they were going in annoying voices "Kooooriii, look what
weeee got,” while showing the picture, acting like she was my girl-
friend. So I just let them believe what they wanted. I remember
someone there walking around laughing at something ridiculous
I said or did. I probably recalled about all I can recall. Wish I
could remember more about being outside but I can't.
I remember standing looking in the mirror while I was putting

on the cop hat. At first it was just a normal cool cop hat. That guy
really just was like "Hey, take it!” kind of, and I was surprised,
and I said I didn't care at first because I had one, but then realized
it transformed. His attitude was strange and apathetic. I remem-
ber looking in the mirror, and it was normal, but my hair was
sticking out from out of the hat because I don’t have short hair,
and I thought it looked really stupid, so I kept trying to tuck my
hair into the hat but it was bunching up all terribly. The hat was
pretty small and tight... more like an S&M costume hat than a
real cop hat, like fashionable and tight, but no matter how much
I tucked it in it still couldn't look short due to how it was bunch-
ing, but that's when I looked up and suddenly it appeared that
there was a black poofy mohawk-like thing shooting up in the
top-center of the hat, thinking maybe my hair came out the top...
and I kept trying to pat it down, and I didn’t understand be-
cause it wasn’t there in the beginning. Just a big black puff/plume
sticking about a foot high from the hat, and that's when I turned
to see a side view and it now resembled a large black and gold
snake "statue" and it looked awesome, in the way it appeared to
be lunging in the front... and at first I thought it looked silly but
I took to it pretty quickly, having never seen anything like it.
“MEDIA CASE GIRL”
10/09/2013
I went over and began speaking to the CD cases on that girl's
bookshelf in her basement. And I started speaking to this blue
cd box set, and then I had to pause and say "Wait... are you even
in these?" and then either my father or her mother said "I don't
think she's in those. I think she's in different cases. I believe she's
in cases across the country now. Over in California, possibly, on
someone else's shelf." and she said about ten or eleven different
things. This girl... a few minutes earlier... there was something
that upset her terribly, and just made me and my father almost
break out into tears. Was it just the fact that I could no longer be
around her? She just vanished suddenly afterwards. It was some-
one I was with for a while. I don’t remember what kind of re-
lationship we had. Not romantic, or, not physical in any way. I
don’t know how long we were with each other, but something
happened and she got upset. Someone said something and she
just disappeared. That was all after a long dream of her not always
being able to be there with me. She always had stuff to be taken
care of. I don’t remember much of her attributes... But she pos-
sessed a collection of media cases and that's how she traveled. I
think the thing we told her at the end was something to the ef-
fect of something that she thought she had all along was not real-
ly hers... Possibly something cliche, like her family was not her re-
al family. I just remember standing in front of the bookshelf, and
I was talking really quiet while on my knees. And for about half
a minute I was saying these really sad things in a hushed man-
ner, then I paused and said "Wait... am I speaking to the right
one?" and I was really hoping that my dad and her mom couldn't
hear... But he said "No, she's not even here anymore." Details are
512
impossible to remember. Perhaps there was swimming earlier in

the dream? Something to do with it? I feel like "monk outfits" or
something priestly was also a component in the earlier parts of
the dream. It was all so very sad and mournful. I am not sure if
it was romantic or not. I’m sure she was close but I’m not sure in
what ways.
“THE DEER”
10/11/2013
Florentin and I went sliding down that steep hill. I remember
thinking "Damn, that truck almost took us out.” We had to move
out of the way because the truck driver, presumably a woman, al-
most took us out. We also saw a male deer just before this. I was
like "It’s all fluffy!” I said something like that.
This truck was turning, and the driver signaled to us but I wasn’t
paying attention. So when I realized it was there I knew it had
been shouting back at us. And when I saw that it was turning I
figured it wouldn't be appropriate to just be screwing around in
the road, but then it was coming closer. Florentin, upon seeing
it moving near, had already stepped over to the edge of the near-
by hill. It was a very steep hill, but he stood right on the very
slim grass bank without sliding down, and we had barely enough
room to stand if we were not wanting to fall and also trying to
get out of the way of the truck. Then when I saw it was almost
about to hit me, I walked over to the bank myself, about thirty
seconds after him, and someone said "This is terrible'', but I didn't
have a firm footing on the bank and ended up slipping down, not
falling, but took off running as it appeared. At the very end I was
thinking of writing my book and I was thinking of writing "If on-
ly I could see him again after having learned the value of friend-
ship.” Then I woke up.
I don't think we walked too far in the beginning. Maybe just sev-
eral blocks over. At one point... I saw something and remarked
"I've been doing this for three streets now,” and I was saying
something funny about something I had been doing that he was
only just now noticing. I forget what it was. There was some-
514
thing important. I still remember the way the street looked and
the way the houses all looked. It wasn't set up like the real neigh-
borhood. I remember the perspective and the angles from which
I looked at them. So I remember standing there stopping to
look at the truck, thinking "Hmm, what's going on?" Because we
didn't know it was turning around at first, since it just looked
stopped in the center of this one lane (or two?) road. I said "Aha,
a deer," and he said "What?" like he didn't see it. And I said it
again "A deer!" and he goes "Oh, oh yeah, right there,” and then
it took off running. I don’t know why it was there. It must have
gotten hung up by the truck also. It didn't get hit or anything.
It was just standing on the right side of the street, looking like it
was just walking by or waiting for the truck to move, and it was
staring at us the whole time but with its body turned sideways.
I remember earlier on in the dream I was still with Florentin

and we were gambling in some place. Might have even been con-
cealed in one of the normal looking houses on the streets we
walked through. My impressions of this are very vague. Within
the house there was a... not a casino at all, little gambling and
games going on. Most of the dream was us walking around con-
versing in neighborhoods. Our conversations I remember as be-
ing very believable, but they've all blurred together at this point.
We might have even walked to pick up food or drinks? I don’t
know.
When that truck was first turning, I didn't know it was turning
at first... So he walked over to the side and I said "Where are you
going?" and then I looked over and noticed the lady turning the
truck, and so I went walking over to the bank too. I was about 11
or 12 feet ahead of where he was on the road, but she didn't seem
like she was looking where she was going because then when she
was turning she looked like she was about to hit me which I don’t
remember as being the case when I pulled over on the side of the
bank, and I was looking in her driver side mirror and it looked
like she could see me, not like she was conscious of almost hit
me, or trying to, but it sure looked like that she was looking in
my direction. There was nothing they could do about it, she al-
ready started. So Florentin is still standing on the edge... I took
off running. Not fell, but it's like you unintentionally start run-
ning down the hill because you are so close to the edge, like as if
you start running so as to avoid actually falling... momentum, es-
sentially. Florentin followed me about half a minute or forty sec-
onds later... not immediately. I don’t remember anything being
down there. It was just a big open space with nothing I could see.
The hill was not vertical but sooo steep.
“RAMA”
10/15/2013
There was this room in the kitchen that we weren't supposed to
go to at night. There was this room in the house. I didn't know
I was accidentally ending up there. I walked out and saw these
things blocking the doorway and blocking... and I had just ended
up in a really bad place. I'm like, damn it, because it was a place
you’re not supposed to go. It was dangerous at night and there
were demons or something ghostly in it and it was a part of the
house that was supposed to be evil. It was like oh my gosh, and I
saw cupboards stacked against the wall. I think shortly after this
I got back upstairs to that place where like Vernon was, I don't
know what he was doing. And then at the very end there was the
stuff with the biscuit. And before this was the stuff with Rama
The place where Rama and those other guys. And there were
about 15 people all together, they’re all scattered. It's this weird
place that was kind of indoors but then later kind of outdoors,
but along the room where we're being like, I don't know, like a
youth group. She sat on the far back on the couch that took up
the space of. I don't know, but every time I'd come over she’d
straighten up move and so I just end up walking around, you
know, trying to be inconspicuous, but I wasn't at all it was partic-
ularly
Okay, okay, there was something strange that happened where I

think what I was talking about Asia, and then something weird
happened where I think something about our chemistry
changed. Something like transformed inside my body, or some-
thing weird and I don't know what it was. But it was like, Whoa,
what the hell and everyone was like, weirded out.
517
“THE RABBIS”
10/16/2013
I was riding in that car with those people. And I was hiding un-
der blankets with Will while the girl drove us around.
There were these priests, these really creepy Rabbi-looking guys

who were searching for us everywhere. It was so fucking creepy.
We rode in the car for hours. I remember saying “This is kind of
what life is like.” I said “You know, when you realize you're dy-
ing, you try to make it as fruitful and you try to make it as enjoy-
able as you can.” And I guess I knew it was a dream. “We’re in a
dream, too.”
I remember saying that this has turned into a really enjoyable ex-
perience because we've gotten this chance to talk. And we were
listening to Pokémon. It was a really weird experience.
At the very end of the dream, I came back in and everything was
changed. There was fun stuff on TV. There were donuts on the
table. I don't know where the birds were. I don't know where any-
body else was either.
Earlier in the dream, Asia and I were fighting pretty bad. She was
trying to resolve it and I was not. I forget, something like that.
There was a girl that was with me, Amanda, who was driving us,
and another guy that was our age.
We went running through the woods when we came to get here.

Will and I were running through the woods and I was like
“Quick, we need to run,” and so we are running. And I was trying
to tell him about Peaks View Park. And he's like, “What?”And
I’m like “That place with a waterfall. That was the best place ever.
518
We will just hide there.” We were gonna hide underneath the

stream or something. And he didn't know what I was explaining.
But he was like “You mean that place by my house? The place
we used to walk to and do this and do this and do that?” And
I’m like “Oh that’s right, we did didn’t we. And so we're running
through the woods. We knew that Amanda and this other guy
were standing there and we just ran up to them and were like
“GET IN THE CAR GO. Get the car go. Now, now, now, now,
now.” They were like “What?” They didn't know us that well.
They only saw us once before, and we were like “You have to do
it!” We just showed up, we saw the priests somewhere and took
off running. I was standing on the street corner and I saw one
walking up. I'm like oh my god. And they look like these rabbis,
it was really creepy.
Later on, near the end, I was lying on the couch and I remember
looking over the TV and on the TV popped up this little Jewish
thing. It had big Hebrew letters and at first I was like “Huh...”
then I was like oh my god, if someone walks by it's going to give
us away. Then a few minutes later the guy comes walking in. I for-
get how that happened. I don’t remember how we transitioned
from the car to this place but we did, and wow, it was fucking
creepy. It was just a bunch of these skinny rabbi priest people fol-
lowing us around forever. We were on a road trip for a really long
time.
Veronica and I were in a crowd of people and she was smashing

into me, like in a really funny way. Like we're all sitting there
in a crowd and she just pops against me and is like “Whoop!”
She’s like pushing me in toward the crowd, and it was funny but
I don’t know.
Then in the car was the guy driving up front and then in the
back there was me, Will and Amanda. Me and Will were lying
there with a blanket over our heads. We were lying as flat as we
could with this blanket over top of us, and this girl to our right
was just... you know... at first they were just trying to get out, be-
cause I think it was already too late for some of the other peo-
ple we were with. I just remember I turned to look at them and
said “I’m really glad we had this conversation. It kind of made the
dream worthwhile,” or something like that.
I remember that I felt my stomach or something being stroked by

the girl at one point in the dream. I don't know why. I remember
I kept freaking out whenever Will would shift positions. He was
doing it an awful lot and I was like “They’re gonna see us if we’re
not completely flat. If they look in the backseat there needs to
just be a girl and nothing else,” and he kept shifting positions and
getting up and I was like freaking out and at one point he went
and moved over to the other side of her, because she called him
there, and I asked what's going on? And she's like “I'm taking on
the mother position” or something. I don't know what she was
doing.
She was just trying to comfort us, rub our stomachs, which was
really weird and she wanted one of us to each side. I just don't
know why it happened.
I don't know what happened with Asia. We got in some huge

fights. Those scenes led into all this. There was some weird stuff
going on between her and I. I can still feel it, but I can't put it in-
to words.
I remember when... what did he do when he got in the house,

though. I'm just sitting in front of the TV looking at this thing.
We’re in like a trailer. I remember the guy we were with was like
“I’m going to go and get something,” and like a minute later or

two minutes later the priest comes and shows up and I'm like
oh my god worst timing, because you know I'm thinking that
guy's gonna protect us. I mean he's technically like two years old-
er than me, but I was thinking he was going to protect us. The
priests were only after specific people, so it was freaky. So me
Will and the girl freaked out. I take off running down this one
room where I pass by a dining room where there's a bird cage and
the other room where there were these two little candles burn-
ing, and I didn't know where he was in the house but then I start-
ed hearing him talking to the birds, and he was just talking in a
pet voice to them, and I was like uh oh. And I knew they were
right about 30 feet over in the next room, there's no door, just
a little trailer place. And so I took my candles and I ran out at
them and I held them up and they were really stubby candles
that had burned down, they didn't even look like candles any-
more. They were just really stubby. And so I took them and I got
ready to throw them. And right when I did that he held up this
thing in his hand. So I threw them at his feet. But then he held
up this other thing, and I threw something else down. He goes
“That was a mistake!” And he had something that let out a stink,
an aroma, and I don't remember what was up with it, but when
burned, it became extremely toxic.
And so I was like, oh my god, and I ran out the back of the house,
and I think I had something in my hand, I think I grabbed the
candles again, and ran outside because I didn't want anybody else
to suffer from that. And so I ran outside and fell into the grass, I
went down the stairs and fell in the grass. I was like AHH.
But then I took off running around the house to get to the other
side, to the other entrance again. And I was like I’m gonna face
them again. And when I opened the door there was no one there.
There was like Pokémon playing on TV. There were doughnuts

on the table. Nothing was smoking or smelling. And I’m like
what the hell happened, and then I woke up, I ran around to
the other entrance to face them. Everyone was gone.Very weird.
Very, very detailed. This is not near everything. But um, of these
scenes, I've got pretty good information. I forget What me and
Will we're talking about, we're talking about photographs. I
think we're talking about photographs. And we're having all
these different conversations under the blanket but we're trying
to be still and you know, keep my hand over my mouth so that it
doesn't shake the blanket or different things like that.
The girl and that guy weren't really our friends or anything. I
don't think so. They were just people we knew. They were cool.
There was that girl with a disease. There was a doctor there who
was putting holes in people. She had some disease in her foot. I
was standing there. And there was just a line of people lined up
against the wall sitting in chairs. And I think my mom was one
of them. I was talking to Jen. And I was asking if anybody knew
about something.
I had this problem and I was talking about my problem. I kept

saying it several times and no one knew anything. But after sev-
eral times, one of the girls was like Oh, I wasn't thinking clearly.
And she held up her foot. And someone else next to her was like
yeah, why don't you say anything earlier. I was like I don’t know.
And then she showed me this idea.
I remember walking through the park with Sam. I think Will

was Sam. Changed midway
Anyway, this girl was talking about these surgeries where this
doctor just puts a completely new hole in you. And it's just like
she was showing me this brochure. And it was this person that
got an eye or nose and it was about an inch over from where it
should be. She’s just like “That’s all a completely new hole. I don't
know what it was because it made perfect sense. I think it'd still
make perfect sense if I could actually think about what it was
And I don't think it's supposed to be creepy. It was supposed to

be helpful, but it's crazy, and I don't know what happened when
we were in line.
This was right after I was coming up like this little party and
Veronica was there. We're talking about different things. We had
conversations about these. I think she might have been turned
into Amanda later. I'm sure that whole thing and Sam thing
might be wrong.
I just thought it was like a dance. Not a dance. It was like a

big competition. I don't know. It's a big place and everyone was
standing in a crowd. And I was standing there, but there was like,
several feet between me and everyone else. I just wasn't going
out. And so Veronica showed up and she like, bopped me into it,
and then blocked me off. So I was stuck there with everyone. But
it was funny at the time. I was like Ahh whatever.
There was all that stuff with my sister and my father. Nanny and
Poppop too. There was something that offended them, Nanny
and Poppop. I did something that was offensive to them. Or
something. I think they were in the place when I was. I remem-
ber running through a place and they were there and I don't
know, but I know something like that happened.
Then there was... what was the thing about me and Asia. She
was just crying or something. She realized... Like she was shifting
back and forth between realizing and not realizing what the
problem was.
And I forget, this was like the beginning. There are other parts
saying oh, I forget exactly what happened though. It was weird,
I just remember my dad was there. She was there. And she was
crying, and she showed up in the room at one point and tried
to... she had paid my way or did something without me knowing
what she was doing. Like going somewhere and my access was al-
ready paid or something. I don't know. And I just remember she
was standing there and someone else was and she was trying little
things to make up for it.
That Kevin and Amanda pair I remember. We had seen them

just a little bit earlier in the dream. But we didn't really know
them. I mean, they were nice, but we didn't know them that well.
So I think the other people that we would have thought to go to,
something happened to them. And so we just took off into the
woods looking for them. And they're just standing by the woods,
I think. We showed up like “go let's go now” and they just didn't
have time to even know what was going on.
Yeah, I just remember me and Patrick were arguing about this

waterfall right? It was this beautiful waterfall I was talking about.
I'm like I'm talking about how it's my. I don't think I was saying
that he'd been there but I was talking about I'm like, God this
waterfall was at and a
I remember opening the door and walking into a giant ballroom

at one point.
So I’m explaining “There’s this waterfall. And it used to as this as

all these places to hide, envisioning and remembering he's died.
The logs are now out there was this there was a very specific spot.
Like under the water. I don't know. We had a behind the water-
fall where I was like, that'd be perfect. And I was explaining to
him like what parking means, are you meaning this part? And he
was describing something like no, that's not it at all. And then
later on, he was like, “Wait, do you mean this? We’ve gone there
before? That's fine. That's like walking distance from my house.”
I'm like “Are you serious?” “Yeah, I used to go there all the time.”
And then I remember thinking maybe it's not a good hiding spot
after all.
At one point there was definitely also some very strange little
animal and something I picked up or something I was coming
near too. Okay, no, I remember walking around the city at night.
What the hell was that? there's this animal I feel like there was
this weird chain of animals or something. I picked something up
or I went near something and it looked cute but it was really like
fucking freaky.
I remember we were in that one place. In the car in the backseat

or hearing like music playing on the radio. I think that was all
there was to it.
Still very blurry on those details about the Asia part and that
cities part with animals and the ballroom, and like everything
before the Veronica part is hazy. Everything after that I remem-
ber pretty well. I just remember thinking me and Will having
some really good conversations in the car.
It was just creepy though because throughout the dream I was

walking and walking to get away from these. There was just
something I don't know what it was but every once in a while it
was known that a priest would pop up and it was like an omen
of something terrible. And if they popped up that meant some-
thing bad this very specific kind of Rabbi looking at these long
beards is in hats just a plain black suit. These are pretty thin.
You know they were varying heights, but then one showed up in
town. And so we're trying our best to avoid him. I ran around
the city corner at nighttime in the city one day and I sought to
understand. I was like, Oh my gosh, that was an extremely unfor-
tunate thing. There's two of them and I don't think they're right
next to each other and I've seen one on one side of the face and
one side on the other so it's freaking fast I could have consumed
this they just walk slow was gonna take your time getting where
they need to and then me
me and all his other people drove for a long time and so the fact
that that one just showed up at the door of the trailer was insane
they were just like supernatural
I guess after your net while we discovered not care too much but
we were still carrying around things like we're like like I said I
was afraid of when that Hebrew thing that Hebrew then came
on TV so I switched it off.
With Veronica when she took me out, I was kind of glad that she
did that because it kind of got me into the groove. I don't know
what happened after I was sitting there. People sit on chairs and
when I was talking about the holes being drilled and like new
holes being drilled. I think we were talking about me getting a
new eyes
“THESE HORNS”
10/16/2013
• Someone going up to this goat man with horns and goes “These
horns, are they yours?” And they put their hands on them and tried
to take them off, and then the goat man went, “No, no, no, no, no,
if you pull these off, I’ll stop breathing,” and he kept going on and on
in an urgent attempt to explain.
527
“SKATE KICKS”
10/18/2013
I was running through some place with these bladed skates on
and I was kicking someone, thinking that I would get some extra
points for it, because everyone was running around without car-
ing who they were or what their identities were, just kicking peo-
ple with these blades to get points. So I did that and this per-
son had like forty-something... I don’t know what they had... but
their points didn't count. So I said "Don’t you remember your
name? Don’t you remember the name you had when you were all
human?"
There was something to do with Asia and Shop Rite. There was
this highly elaborate plot going on earlier in Shop Rite; a big
mission I was on. Nanny and Poppop made several appearances,
as did my father. I don't remember what it was though. Then
there was that guy who looked like Book. I don't know if he was in
my dream or not. I don't think he was. I'm just hallucinating a little
bit while I’m recounting this... oops... I remember falling off some-
thing in Shop Rite. I just remember putting... I was really seri-
ous about winning so I took all this time and found out this one
worked because this person had a certain page online... or some
certain outfit that rendered my attacks useless I think... At first I
think it was like ****?
Because I looked vulnerable. ‘Cause I think I was sitting there in

a really vulnerable position on the floor... The floor was red. It was
like... a CD case... I don’t know... I remember paying before it
came out... I don’t remember what exponents I was... write... read...
working on my experiment. I have no idea what I'm talking about.
I need to get up or else I'm falling asleep again. Weird dream, that's
528
for sure. And then my cart emptied out at the end of it too. But a
lot of what I’m saying right now is delirious hypnagogic nonsense. I
need to get up.
“MOTORCYCLIST CAKE
MAKER”
11/08/2013
Crashing my vehicle, whatever it was. I was riding down and
crashed into that one guy with the motorcycle. He stands up and
starts pouring out this thing of orange juice and he says “You
know what? Take a fork, poke four holes in the side. I’m done
making your cake. I’m not making your cakes anymore.” And
I’m just standing there asking “What?” But at the same time
I thought I was standing there with these two guys and I was
gonna say “I can make a cake for you.” Like as an offer to the
guy who no longer had a cake maker, as if I wasn’t the one who
crashed into the cyclist but just an observer. Then there was that
thing with Kristen, the blonde haired girl. There was something
with Veronica. I just woke myself up willingly once I was sitting
there in my dream trying to remember all that happened in my
dream before. I'm like “Wow, there's too much stuff that already
happened. I'm not gonna risk losing this.”
So my parents had left without me at this place. It freaked me out

when I looked out in the parking lot and no was there and so I
had to look all over for them. That’s when I saw the big blue van
come back in too, so I ran back inside back inside to see if anyone
was still in the basement. That's where ai saw Jacob and Veronica
and all those other people. And that girl Kristen who showed up
late and was coming down the stairs right when I was running up
to see someone else.
I was standing by the counter talking to that lady at the deli.

She was asking me how these men could have had so much ded-
530
ication, determination to do something something something.

I forget what she was asking me. But I was thinking my mind
“Drugs can be one. Asexuality can be one.”
“Well, drugs, for one, can suppress your appetite.”
And she was hesitant to agree but eventually said “You’re right, I
guess.“
Then there was that guy down in the basement that I accidentally
hit. I hit him when I threw something down. And I didn't know
it because I was being reckless. This is after I threw something
and it hit Jacob’s hands and hurt him. Then a few minutes later I
threw something else and it apparently hit this guy in the crotch.
I didn't know it, because I was really pissed off and just flipping
out down there.
Then I went walking out and Jacob came over and was telling me
that that guy hurt.
“Did I do that?”
“Yeah, when you threw that thing. It hit his crotch.”
“Aw man!” So I went back, and I was gonna go apologize, and

I saw his dad come down the hallway at this point, too, because
he's about to leave. But then he started walking away with his
dad, and I spoke up. “Hey, I didn't realize I did that. I'm sorry.”
He was kind but also really needy. “No, no, no, no, it's alright!
It’s alright!” He tried to downplay it. I remember him bending a
weird way with his with his elbows really, really awkward when
he went to come in like give me a hug or handshake. He bent
it the wrong way, like he was preparing to do it from a different
side.
I remember being surprised to find Veronica there. I heard her

laughing at a joke someone told and I peeked in and I was con-
fused to see her and I motioned for her so that she would come
over and I could say hey.
Right when I called to Veronica this woman came downstairs

and said to me, “You know that girl who do were asking about
before?” It was Kristen’s mom who was talking to me. And she
ran up to me and said “Remember how before when you asked
how Kristen was doing and I told you Kristen was not here?
She’s here now and no one expected her to be back tonight but
she came back to see you.” I'm like, “No way, really?” And this
girl was apparently some movie stars that liked me, who was
like in love with me like crazy. Then this woman asked me like
“How do you manage to keep so faithful to this girl you don't
even see much?!” And I was laughing nervously, because she was
talking about a different girl, but I'm thinking about Anita, and
I’m thinking “Oh boy...” I was thinking situation because she
thought I was some kind of person I wasn't.
So then Kristen comes down. She’s like a movie star, and she runs
down. She's freaking out. And she's hugging on me and jumping
around. But then something weird happened in the room and
she started getting frozen.
I wasn’t actually in line. I was just standing there.
And then there was that floor where all those tables were. And
I knew that right in that main floor with all those tables with
people eating. When people walk through. Everyone, every few
seconds, someone make a joke or random comment over a loud-
speaker about someone in that place. And I was like, Oh, no.
And they were getting ready to say something. And I had to walk
through at that moment. I had a hat on, I started pulling my hat
down over my face, going “Oh, no, oh no, I hope they don’t make
a comment about me.” They didn’t, and I thought that was awe-
some that my dream was so courteous. That’s when I went run-
ning outside and slipped, and went down this hill. I started slip-
ping. I started going over a hill and valley and hill and and valley.
It was really weird slip because I went over several roadways ac-
cidentally. And then I remember seeing this motorcycle coming
down the street. And I'm like, man, there's all these times when I
almost hit motorcycles. Or maybe I was thinking of what to tell
him like, “man, you're like the fifth motorcycle I almost hit to-
day” or “I almost do, but I never do!” or something like that. I
don't know. But then I hit him. This was the guy who then re-
fused to make cakes for me.
In that part with the movie actress, I remember thinking that no

one would believe that this movie actress was always following
me around and loving on me. It didn’t sound believable. And she
had just come back from traveling. And oh, man, it was so weird.
Because when she showed up, I was down there with Veronica
and so it's just going from one weird thing or another.
And a nerdy guy. When I was apologizing him, I was like, “hey,
you know, I'm really sorry about that. But you know, it actually
finally gave me an excuse to introduce myself to you.” He's like,
“Yeah, yeah, yeah!” A he was really kind and it was weird. I kind
of didn't expect that. He looked kind of punky. But then when
he stood up he looked like a different person. And I remember
that his dad was standing there with a smile on his face because
of the conversation taking place between me and his son, like he
was happy that his son was meeting someone and it seemed cute.
He had a brother, too, who was walking back and forth in the
other room.
I remember when I was sitting on the couch doing something,

Emily started cracking up, so I started cracking up too. So we
made comments back and forth. Forget what we said.
I think this was supposed to be Jacob’s party.
Patrick showed up when I was hugging someone. He showed up

and started saying some weird sciency things. What the fuck was
that? I think I was hugging Kristen. He just shows up, stands
right next to, her looks at her and starts saying these science
things I'm like “wow intense science right there” or something
funny like that. It was like from drug synthesis. He was saying it
in response to something she said or the machine she was in. It
was just strange because I’m standing there hugging and girl and
he shows up and starts spouting off all this technical jargon.
So after I passed by that place that makes fun of people, I went

to the left and went out the door. There was a big rink that I re-
member standing looking over the walls. Just a big rink when I
was waiting to leave. It was a dark, dark place. It was like brown,
everything was like brownish. And so I was standing in this dark
empty rink. And I had to walk over that rink and then up the
other side of the fence and go over there and that's when you'd be
crossing the whole restaurant part people where make comments
and then you turn left and leave at the entrance. And so it was
around that rink, right after I sat there looking over it for a while,
I got tired of waiting so I turned around and walked over to the
deli and started talking to that lady and I saw that guy standing
there, and then when I saw a guy I'm like “Wait, I saw you in my
last dream. And he's like “Yeah, you did.”
I remember that Ally kept wearing different outfits. There was

something that she kept trying to get me to do. I remember us
hanging out in the staircase talking. Every time she opened her
mouth I got really annoyed. She just kept blaming me for what
happened, but they were always events which occurred in direct
response to her actions, so it was annoying because she was com-
pletely misunderstanding what happened. I remember finding
out she had been in my room, and I’m like “Oh no, did you see
such and such?” And she did.
My house felt huge. The upstairs looked like Londonberry, but

the downstairs went into all sorts of different rooms.
Veronica had been playing table tennis when I saw her.
There was more but I don’t feel like writing it all out.
I forget what happened with Kristen earlier on. I was walking

around upstairs where all the parents were and I was trying to
get away to where my friends were, but one of the adults got to
me and asked me a question about Kristen and I said “Oh I don’t
know, you’ll have to ask her,” and she told me she was away travel-
ing at the moment. I think that must have happened just because
when she came home later she said “Remember when I told you
she wasn’t here? Well she is here! She just got back!” And then
I look over to the staircase and she’s at the top looking down,
going “Tendon!!!” She ran down to me and hugged me. It was
weird. And the mother had showed up right after I met up with
Veronica, so she was standing there the whole time, which prob-
ably prompted her to make that line about being faithful, as if
subtly testing me to make sure I’m “faithful” to her daughter. I’m
not sure. It was strange.
I remember when I was running through the hills, they were all
slippery wet, all the grass. Over highway then hill then highway
then hill. Accidentally made a motorcycle crash. I had already
made it past him when he crashed but when I noticed him I ran
back to check on him.
I }{‘ember heading to some place I thought was important,

thinking I need to get here quick. And but then I remembered
everything else that happened in the dream and I’m like, Oh my
gosh, this dream is massive and if I don't get up now I'm risking
forgetting it all. Need to write it down.
I remember when we were in the room with the giant jacuzzi. Al-
ly was swimming around on the floor and a lot of other bizarre
behaviors like that.
I could also remember after that time I accidentally hit that guy
in the crotch, I had thrown something, I threw it and it bounced
and then hit him really hard. It was like something large and
hard. It was like metal, something metal. And I remember seeing
his head go down, and he gasped, he was wearing a black shirt
with something written on. But I remember thinking “Did that
just hit him?” And I remember thinking I think it did. But then
I started walking away. And I heard them talking to him and re-
alized he was hurt from it and I saw him keel over. I started walk-
ing away but then I heard more people draw attention to it. Then
Jacob came up and was like “You know you just did this, right?”
And I had to act like I only just realized it. I didn’t want to have
to address it but I felt it was the right thing to do at this point.
“OPEN A GIFT, EAT ANOTHER
COOKIE”
11/09/2013
Some woman was singing to me, some parodical song:
“I called you home, but you were only a bone!” Or something

like it. She was singing it in such a solemn tone but it was clearly
a parody. It was as I was sitting there in a house with another
girl, sitting on her bed, then my family showed up. I saw them
arrive through the window. Then they walked in and saw me sit-
ting there. The woman says “You left me!“ and another guy says
“He’s punctual!”
There was a scene within the woods. These black men with
weapons came and ran after me as I approached the woods.
Someone standing there had to tell them off. They spoke a for-
eign language. Someone had to stick me with needle and it was
awful. At first I was outside right then I went inside a school,
where the need came. I had to be numb for something I was do-
ing, so they had to wipe me and then stick it right away. Strange.
I remember thinking “I wonder if people are wondering what’s
going on over here” because I was getting it done right in the
middle of the school real quickly. We had all just been at this girls
house. We had brought her presents and cookies. Every time she
would open a present, we’d make her eat a cookie with it. It was
just something we we’re saying, because the plate was right there.
“Open a present, eat another cookie! Open a present, eat anoth-
er cookie!” And so at the end, it was a few days after the first time
we were there, or the day after. For some reason I came back with
another present and the others were doing the same. Like a sec-
537
ond birthday, I don’t know. But it was supposed to be the final

day of whatever this festivity was. And I asked “Ya gonna do the
cookie thing again?” And there was a reason why she couldn’t.
I remember having walked out into the woods one day. Went re-
ally far into it. Wasn’t supposed to be there. There were all those
black people, and there was something very creepy about them.
Like it was well established that if you ventured too deep into
the woods there was supposed to be all of these black people who
were missing, who had been missing for like fifteen years.
There was also that part with those weird little kids. I was sitting
in this hallway. At first I had someone that I was talking to, but
then that person kept getting approached by all these kids, and
they would just come up and say something, they were some-
how strange like generic retardation. And I just noticed one girl
who was really small. She's really young. Possibly eastern Indian.
She came up and she's talking to the other girl in this very slow
strange voice and a language I couldn’t understand. I just remem-
ber her coming up to me later while I was sitting there doing
something else, and she just started talking to me. I just remem-
ber for the longest time I was responding to her and I was nod-
ding at first, but then I started answering with my mouth and she
was just laughing and saying all these things. Like weird noises
and mumbles, “haha” “heeehee” “mooowoowo”
I remember approaching Sam in the hallway. And everyone in

the hallway was wearing the same outfit. I walked into this build-
ing and everyone's wearing the same like jockey striped outfit.
And I said “are you guys at that age now where everyone be-
comes the same already?” They were all acting the same, too. We
all went straight to see the girl after that.
When I was talking to that little girl I just remember smiling and
thinking this is weird, I don't know what I’m saying. I was just
acting confident and bullshitting and she didn’t seem to realize
that I wasn't speaking her language. It was just very odd moment.
I mean, it was odd enough just to be listening to her.
The forest part was so strange. All these people freaking out with
guns. They seemed like foreign hunters or smugglers. All very
gaunt and wearing button down shirts. It was notable because
there was two times that happened. the first time I went in the
woods and realized what they were doing and I was like oh my
gosh. I mean they weren't actually smugglers or hunters or what-
ever, I’m just saying what they resembled. But they were doing
some creepy. I think we were trying to bust them for something.
So the second time we came around with a lot more people, and I
ran through the woods a second time, perhaps stupidly, and I re-
alized that they were all following me. That shouldn’t have even
been the case if they saw me, because they shouldn't have cared.
I remember at the end when that girl started to sing me a song

while I was sitting on something. I remember trying to think of
alternate words while she was singing. I just remember some of
the ones I was thinking of. It was ridiculous. Yeah, I remember
she walked in the room. she was one of the first people to come
in and see me sitting there. But then I saw this other guy there.
Kind of a gross looking curly haired kid. He came over too.
Wish I remember what I was doing Sam and all of them. Might
have been something that made me self conscious. Like I feel
I spilled something on myself or something stupid like that.
Maybe it was because I wasn’t wearing the same clothes as every-
one else.
All those foreign people were just spread out and lying on the
floor in this cramped hallway. All kids. Most were wearing bright
solid colors neon shirts. I remember when I was being rushed
away I was just walking away and those people were trying to
divert...: i remember after the black people spotted me in the
woods and I went running our, some of the people running in
tried to support me and they started pretending they were do-
ing something other than what they were doing so that the other
guys didn’t become even more suspicious, so the woman had the
needle ready. She needed to stick me, then wipe it, then stick me
again, cause I needed to be high for something? I don’t know.
“ILLNESS AND OLYMPICS”
11/09/2013
I remember something about the Olympics. A couple guys were

scheming, and they were using the idea of me being sick with a
flu or fever as a means to get away with something. Kept schem-
ing and doing something with my computer.
• There was that jungle spot with all the blue and red ladybugs
which I had all over my legs. And there was the boat that was really
small, and I went inside the boat, like a raft, and it was creepy.
541
“THE SOURCE OF MY
DISCOMFORT”
11/13/2013
There was a scientist nearby and I was sitting on the couch with
this girl on top of me. And then there was like this other person,
I think it was just us three and there might have been one person,
but They're kind of an argument, I kept screwing words. I kept
missing up my one word and making them sound really good. I
was like, “why would... why would you want to piss me off ?” And
she was acting very strange. Like she didn’t know who I was. I
was talking, you know, I was using a voice changer and wearing
something else. And we were just sitting there with each other.
And I had my arm around her, and I was like what do you want
to eat for dinner and she was like “I’m just gonna piss you off.”
I said, why would you want to piss me off ? I said, Why would...
something about source of source of discomfort like saying what,
does is the profit you to be the source of my discomfort. I re-
member she sighed and whispered “source ...of my...” And then
I went “discomfort.” Like she didn’t understand or hear what I
said. ‘Cause I kinda fumbled my words a little bit and finished it.
And I don’t know what we were doing but we were just sitting
there. She just kept saying things and she kind of just seemed like
she didn’t know why she's with me. But she didn't know who I
actually was. I was kind of in disguise. I was kind of weird. Just, I
don't know what this group of people were but it was really fun-
ny. And I was being very kind to her but my word choice was
very strange, kind of mysterious and elegant. I don't know if I had
a mask on or what. But I just remember lounging on the couch
with her, while some of our colleagues were doing other things.
542
And there was just junk laying everywhere. And she had stolen,
she had stolen an intercom or something and she was lying on
the couch, sitting there listening to it and smiling. And then she's
like “I don't even know why I took this.” And then she just threw
it.
I don’t remember... It was like our enemy. It wasn’t like, Oh, not
an enemy. It was like someone who's just on a different team or
different sides. That wasn't very serious. But then the guy sitting
over to my right, but you know, ten to fifteen feet behind to
my right in a chair, man commented, like, “Oh, it's just like the
DND something.” So he just made a comment like that. And
you hear the guy that's been talking this whole time on the in-
tercom suddenly go “And whoever stole our intercoms this and
is listening to us. Whoever made the comment about the DND,
it’s the second best game after such and such, well worth its price,
and just piss off.” I forget what he said exactly. He heard the com-
ment through the intercom and I don’t know what he was talk-
ing about. He was just a nerd.
What was that thing with Jeff ? Photos of him with a shaved head
and him and his brothers were up close. And it was weird be-
cause in the back he just had hairs he probably couldn’t see that
weren’t shaved perfectly. They were shaved but there were other
grown back he couldn’t see. I mean, they were very, very small.
But it looked weird up close.
• What the hell was going on... I just remember I kept looking into
that girl's eyes and saying these great mysterious things and she was
just getting annoyed because she couldn’t see how I could be the guy
she wanted... I think I’m hallucinating.
“SUBTITLED DOGS”
11/21/2013
I was running around a neighborhood for a really long time in a
dark. I had a mission. It was maybe 3 in the morning. I was look-
ing for something. Apparently I accidentally ran down the wrong
road, and when running back I passed by these dogs. One was a
big bloodhound and there were two small terriers. At one point
there were subtitles popping up on the screen and the dogs were
like, “Let's help him out. Let's stay back. There might be other
dogs on the streets.” So I forgot what I did. But I did something.
I was jumping around in the dark terrified. I was hopping real-
ly insane. Giant unnatural pogo leaps. And so the dogs were like
“Let’s stay back and help him and make sure that none of the oth-
er dogs get him in the dark.”
So they followed me from a distance all the way back home. And
every time I'd been near a place I'd see them back around the cor-
ner, and they would stay in that corner until I turned a differ-
ent corner then they would move to that corner. And then I re-
alized the reason I was lost is because I went to the wrong street
and I ended up approaching my house from a different angle.
It was actually Londonberry. That explains why everything was
weird. And then I remember getting into the back and my dad
was standing in the driveway. I asked if a the front door or side
door was open. He said front door. I think I had a sheet and a pil-
low in my hand. “I’ve been up for four hours past my bedtime.”
So right when I was walking in I asked “Hey, are there any dogs
following me?” And me and my mom were standing in the en-
tryway of the house, and I remember looking down and I see a
shadow. A little terrier comes running up to the steps and then
544
just sits down on the steps. Then the other terrier comes and sits
down. “Where’s the big one?” I asked. Then the big one came
down, and they’re just sitting there not really making eye contact
with me but panting with their tongues out, looking at the door.
And I paused, preparing to say something, but then my dad start-
ed to shut the front door while we were in it, and I was gonna
say thanks to them. Tokyo began to bark at them, and so my dad
took her out into the back yard.
Apparently I had been up all night. I know that my mother was

being annoying and we kept bickering. Later I went for my walk
and was doing those crazy moon jumps.
Oh, I had an interview in the morning. I was gonna wake up ear-

lier and have an interview. And so I asked Asia to make sure of
something, and she asked for some ‘good luck jewelry’ in return:
“What do you mean good luck jewelry?”
“You have some cool looking jewelry and I’d like to wear it for
good luck.”
“Okay, I guess I’ll show you what I have.”
One of us needed to be awake at eight, and so we agreed to make

sure that we were up at that time.
I was lucid for a bit. I let loose at one point and I was thinking to
myself, I was like, man, should I keep going or should I wake up?
And I was trying to think of what happened and I'm like “This is
a weird dream but I don't feel like I did enough yet.” And so then
I kept on going.
I was supposed to have an interview in early morning and so I

had to be up at a few certain time. I was in bed, I was just laying
there for a while and I remember it was extremely uncomfortable
and I just kept lying there while struggling to breathe through

my nose. I got up and then went back then I got up then I went
back, hour after hour. It was horrible and seemed to go on forev-
er and I knew I was going to ruin my interview if I couldn’t sleep.
I was speaking to neighbors. They were the neighbors that I have

on this street who are at the farthest end, near that street that
connects to the gas station. The ones with that pen and that dog.
That’s the area that I walked to. I walked over there and I saw
something. But I went over an hour without seeing any dogs.
My parents were yelling at me. I just remember my mom kept

having these stupid arguments—so realistic, as in something she
would really say.
“FLUXOM”
11/22/2013
I was lying in bed and Kenny was sleeping. I asked him specif-
ically, “Do you feel like there are any damages? In what way do
you feel you've been affected by a social cult?” He said something
about vegetarians. I asked if it was a suicide cult and he said “No,
but it was in some ways influenced by that kind of stuff.” And so
I was asking how it has affected his family.
His sister walked by. And his sister was actually Patrick's real life
sister. I wasn't thinking, and so I failed to greet her. Then she
walked by and she looked at me and looked down when I looked
down, and then she looks back up and I said hey, or I just waved
or nodded or smile. And then she just looks over and says one
word to Kenny: fluxom (or something like that).
“Flillox? What the hell is that?”
And then I looked down and noted I was not wearing a shirt.
“Ooooh, is it because I’m not wearing a shirt? Is this fluxom?

Does it mean ‘Tell that guy to put on a shirt’?” And then I re-
member smacking my chest while saying “fluxom” repeatedly.
Then I was thinking all these weird things in my head that I

wasn’t actually saying out loud. I was thinking that our... poste-
riors... were called “balls,” and I was thinking “Our chins should
be called balls. There’s more reasons to support that.”And there
was something I was thinking about some hole in the body and
something about its name. Confusing.
547
• Yeah, but there was like two weeks there where I couldn’t see.
Wait, maybe I’m not... maybe I’m not... making sense.
He was like “Maaaan, you’re an awesome friend. I’m going to

have to write you down at Christmas.”
“Are you not going to be here at Christmas?”
“Nah, I’ll be such and such.”
“Ahhh, alright
And I remember thinking, though I never said it... I was thinking

about how some of the best recording sessions I ever had, like a
jam sessions, one of them was with him. I don’t remember what
made it special. But there was something I was thinking in my
mind that made it special, about how we just like started playing
and never stopped and didn't stop. And then there was another
one I was thinking about that had nothing to do with anybody
else that was there. And I was just thinking of it. It was just like,
it seemed really awesome. I forget what was great about it, but it
was something like magical sounding.
I remember something about the trunk of someone's car.
It was just so realistic. A lot of the dream was me thinking stuff

in my head without saying it aloud. There was something to do
with us climbing mountains. I think you could see mountains
from property too, like if you went out on the deck.
• There was something about some missing insignia or something.

The lady was like “Oh, that's hers.” Actually, this might just be an
hallucination.
I just remember spending the night with him for a couple days in
a row. And at the end, we were just lying around, and he was ly-
ing facedown. And I thought he might be asleep and I asked “Are

you awake?” And he returns a muffled “Yeah.” And that’s when I
asked those questions that I said earlier, about how he was affect-
ed. This was all at the end.
I remember thinking about a lot sociological things as he was

talking about his cult. It was easy to see why it would have ap-
pealed to people.
• The birds... there are so many birds... it’s so easy to see.
• Pictures on the profiles. They were real pictures, and they were say-
ing “In this country, we do this. But unfortunately we don’t in this
country. Let’s give them a little hand! Let’s give them a little help!”
It was saying that...
•Aw jeez, I was putting all these little things I got for free from some
secondhand shop into a box in front of me. They sent me all sorts
of things, like a second space heater. I think the reason for that is I
think I remember when I was packing my DVDs up to send I re-
member looking in the box and since the box was big I was think-
ing “Is that my space heater in there?” And so I think I said some-
thing to them about it, and they ended up sending me another space
heater in some box with Japanese writing on if. And I thought “Is
this my old one? Did I even have an old one to begin with?” And “I
hope my mom doesn't learn about this because she'll be asking for it
and it’ll be harder for me to tell her that I have my reasons for need-
ing them both at the same time.”
• Freaked out... freaked out when I saw it. Wait, I'm talking about
something else, kind of. The box was filled with little like cleansing
strips. There were some things that I had left but also some things
that they were giving. There was a packet of Facial Cleansing stuff
like in a purple pad, but also a round bottle, and then it had several
other little containers of stuff, and then it had credits, and then it
had just whatever, but I got it, and I was gonna show my mother,
but I was hesitant to say anything.
It’s hard for me to describe the place we were all in. It's kind of
a rundown place. It's kind of like my grandparents New Jersey
home, like the back room of it, or the kitchen area with the little
deck.
I remember talking to him. Standing outside. Looking at moun-

taintops. Something weird. Coming back in. His sister walked
by. Fluxom, fluxom. Then we talked again. At the end we were
falling asleep. That was the timeline.
I was standing in the garden at one point when I was thinking

about my chin.
“TIME GUYS”
11/22/2013
Something about walking through the woods, reaching into
trees and pulling out money. I was walking by something with
someone and they reached into the hollow of something. I don’t
think it was a tree, though. And they pulled out to two different
bills. And I pulled it out. And looking inside and there were a
few bills on top of a brown napkin. It was a very narrow tube, I
don’ know if it was a tree or something else. And then the peo-
ple are asking if it’s counterfeit, and I said “It wouldn’t be. This is
all there is.” Then it showed, not too far off there was some guy,
a man in white. I saw his eyes staring through a bush at me and
the other guy as we walked through the woods. I remember hear-
ing his thoughts, and K remember it showing that they're doing
this all over the place. Like there's money everywhere. And this
is their way of trying to get us to take something that I wouldn't
accept otherwise.
At the end, Kenny's friend showed up like he did the previous

time. It was a time thing, again. We were sitting in the theater
and there were those ‘time guys’. They were watching us and then
they all moved toward the entrance and then I looked to the
right and see one of them standing there. Then I see the other
one in the playground with that girl when she was demonstrating
that weird look when she accidentally started being gassy, and
this guy came home with a record he started to play it. No, he
was like “Man, I can't play it. I'm going to bed. Kenny, get out of
my bed. Everyone needs to go home.” And I was like “Aww man,”
cuz I was thinking he was going to play it earlier, or this morn-
ing, and I was about to say “The only difference is now you’re go-
551
ing to put it on and play it now,” or I forget, but it was something

I remember hearing apparently the night before I fell asleep or
a time before I fell asleep in my previous dream, and I thought
“That was my previous dream.” I can't remember what it was.
“ADULTERESS”
11/14/2013
She was a married woman. She was very strange. She had that
pool in her house. Every five rounds, or four rounds, she would
be like “Ah, it’s getting hot in here” and she would change her
outfit. And by the end she had done that three times. She was
down to something very, very skimpy and strange. I remember,
at one point I was laying beside the pool, trying to scoop up dis-
carded tickets in the pool and flush them in the toilet. It was a
weird toilet. Like a basket in the closet. I tried top it my hand
over it and sprayed all over the place. I went out there with
my hair all wet and was like “Uh, I tried to flush the tickets
down.” “It should be fine!” “Nope. It’s overflowing.” Then she
says “Nothing really goes easy, huh.”
Very weird. I thought her daughter was very cool, though, but I
don’t remember much about her now. I know that I had met her
before. And I remember at the beginning of the night she said to
me “My mom really liked when you came over last time.”
Kind of an odd situation. The mother... I think she was dying

of some kind of cancer, because when I remembered little frag-
ments of the previous time I was here I remember her something
in the kitchen, here with another guy who was a girl, there was
like several of the girl's friends over in my recount. I remember
her saying something something. The guy was like “Man, she has
this kind of cancer.” And I was shocked since I had no idea.
• Something... something about a swat, a spray, a bandage. There

was a bandage. I don’t remember what it was. It was mentioned in
553
the lyrics of a song I was hearing. And then I had to... came out of
the bathroom and spoke to her and said... (illegible)
“PICTURES OF ZEUS”
11/25/2013
A woman requested that a man make 100 copies of something.
She was begging and he was unsure what she was asking, without
compensation, so she was asking him to do it for free. I don't re-
member exactly the details of it because it took me a while to re-
alize I was hallucinating. But the next thing I know I was walk-
ing through a corridor. I thought there were supposed to be sev-
eral men but I never saw them and so I held up a device to tell
me where they are, and it said they might be above or nearby on
this floor, and then I turned the corner and there were two men
standing in this sewage tunnel. They never noticed me. That’s
when I snapped out of my hallucination.
I was on the road. My father got stuck on the side of the road so
we tried to saw him out. Saw a car coming. Had to turn around
and run to a hiding spot. I sawed pieces of something else to
make a hiding spot. We were on this very street. Father got hung
up in a weird crucifix-like trap.
At the very end I kept finding out those tuna really small, some-
times cold Fish. It was clearly dead and really gross. I had been
humming it for a while. It was easy but I didn’t like it. There on
my deck there were magazines scattered all over the floor and
some wood splinters like four centimeters long, scrapings from
where I knocked off a piece of wood from my hideaway. I had
two hideaways I’m pretty sure, I had that one I dug at the end
when I went chasing after that alien speed guy. I don’t know why:
but I thought maybe he might be someone worth arresting. I
was crawling under this desk. A small thing I could duck inside.
There was one across the street and one in front of me. So me and
555
this guy hid when we saw a car coming. I remember waiting for
the car to pass by, it was so creepy. And then he stopped and got
out and there’s no attractions nearby.
Then he starts going again. He was some creepy alien thing; and
I felt I needed to catch him.
I remember there being some kind of weird morality issue and

in the dream. I was going over some weird moral philosophies
and thinking a whole lot about the discussion but I can't really
remember what. They were really dark and dated, like medieval.
Me and my father and one other guy just walking down the road.
The other guy was maybe a year or two older just walking. Maybe
Florentin.
We rode our bikes and then we stopped and started walking. We

had alternate vehicles but has to stop using them
Yeah, I'm just sitting in that chair with that fish in my mouth,
staring at the fact that there were magazines at my feet and I was
looking at them, and remember my neighbor was doing some-
thing in their yard to my left and I’m thinking hope they don’t
see me or think weird of me.
Dog at some point. Big. Something about my mom. I think

there's maybe some Christianity civil as well. Remember how
weird it was when my father was wrapped up in those vines sus-
pended off the side of the road on a road sign in these weird
vines.
Drawing this man, drawing his profile. It was unfinished but it

was supposed to be Zeus in the galaxy. He had two faces. That
was a mistake, and I was gonna erase it.
• Death showed up at the end of all these romance movies about

love. He would die trying to do something against love. It was stu-
pid, too. I never saw it, but my father said it was so stupid. He
would show up out of nowhere at the end of a romance movie.
I was in the workroom doing these things. Drawing up pictures

of Zeus. I don't know why. I was making something. I was mak-
ing some kind of game. I don't know what. Some woman had a
crush on Zeus. I don't know what that was all about. And I was
gonna give him to her, I don't know. What was the main story-
line though?
• Hallucination of a woman collecting titleless tomes. And I just

saw her look at a bookshelf and someone's like “Oh, this one doesn't
have its name printed on the side,” and she says “Oh, that's good. I
have a shelf over here for titleless tomes.” And they were really cool
lined up because you couldn’t tell what was what.
I was in a studio, like the Londonberry workroom. What was it...

I was with other people at one point. I mean I'm pretty sure there
was another guy that sometimes just came and went.
There was something about actually reaching Zeus. I traveled

somewhere through complete pitch darkness. And I remember
picking up this guy along the way. And it was Zeus. But I don’t
remember what happened. It was the most neurotic creepy dark-
ness one could ever imagine. It was just so abstract and impos-
sible to describe. And we're just going in this abstract device. I
wouldn't even call it a transportation vehicle. It was like a device,
and we’re m in this little boat. I don't know what it was. We’re
just floating through this empty space. It looks like those fucking
ultrasound monitors. And suddenly he got pissed at me. I think
he did threaten me that if I kept doing something that something
bad would happen.
I was creating some game which required me to make all these

audio clips. At one point a girl entered the utility room and I
sprung on her and kissed her. Like, really sprung on her, knocked
her down on the floor. Not violently, but playfully. It was a very
vivid kiss, and she didn't say anything at first and so I had to ask,
“Wait, is this all right? Because the other day we established that
something something something was still in effect,” and she an-
swered, “Oh, I've been thinking all week about how glad I am
that we've decided to start acting like this,” and then she went on
and started talking about how her favorite kiss is the third or sec-
ond one we thought up. I don't know. Apparently there were sev-
eral different styles of kissing that we came up with, and she pre-
ferred some over others. But she looked totally tired today, and
at first I was thinking, “Uh oh, did I just do something bad?” But
apparently not.
I was doing something else in that room, too, perhaps with alu-
minum cans. And I think there was something really paranoid
going on too. Like there were cameras in the ceiling and I had to
do something. Still laundry utility room.
I went outside for a minute to fetch some kind of food. Maybe

not. That might never happen.
There was that guy standing there by the bookshop or some-

thing. And he was talking about how this is something people
think... he did something. He didn't think it was wrong. He
thought it was funny. And you know. He realized other people
thought it was wrong. Ugh I’m screwing it up. but then he was
like, he said something to the extent of... he just looked at me he
goes, “I know that I already have this and I don't believe in this,
but I'd like to know what you think as an outsider just because
it's always best because I like to have this opinion.” I fucked it up.
It was so good though. I woke up practically clapping because it

was such a good line.
“CLOWN AND PUMPKIN”
11/30/2013
That weird clown that sits in a folded up position with a pump-
kin. It was just a weird clown guy is thrown in a jar after it's cap-
tured in the ground with the pumpkin at the time of its capture.
It's working on pushing up to the surface. Working on opening
it. And then there's this other thing too... what was it, fuck. There
was something else that was freaky they escaped and it was really
bad thing that escaped. We were getting ready to leave, and we re-
alized one thing escaped. And we're like, oh shit, we saw it break
out. My sister was standing in the other room, she was looking in
the mirror, and then the clown walked out and said “Thank you”
in this deep solemn voice. And my dad put him in a cabinet of
mirrors, which was not much better. I yelled “I don’t trust any-
thing in this place! I don't like anything in this place! I don't trust
any of it! I hate it! I'm afraid of everything from this place! Get
rid of it!“
Then there was that kid who gave me weird underwear, like a
loon cloth with a string, not so unlike a thong I guess. And I’m
thinking what the fuck. And I was sitting on the corner with my
legs, sitting on my legs the whole time, just ‘cause I didn’t want
anyone to see me. And Isaac was getting pissed off because he
had to wear the spot underwear. And I'm like, “Man! Don’t you
have any other underwear? LISTEN. My waist is size 20 (I don’t
know where I got that number from) Go in there and FIND
something of YOURS that you can let me USE.” I guess I didn't
have any pants or anything. And all o know is he came back with
dress shoes. And I was like, “Aww, cool. I'll use these.” And then
560
I just put shoes on my feet. So I guess underwear was no longer a

problem.
Rachel throwing a fit at the end. She was passed. She was just
walking around. She got mad because someone ran to loud. She’s
like “DON’T be so loud while you’re running!” And I remem-
ber, when I heard her, I remember how she used to be, at least
in a dream. I was like, “She tries to tell adults what to do, she
treats them like children, even though she's not anyone’s superi-
or. She's just there with them. And that's not acceptable.” And
so I got pissed off that she was yelling at my parents and doing
that to other people in this way. When everyone was just there to
have fun. It was like 11 o'clock at night. She was yelling at every-
one. She wasn’t being mean. It was just she was making every-
one uncomfortable. Telling us how and how not to run. And so I
walked over to her, and I stood looming over her shoulder. And
I was getting ready to tap her shoulder and say, “Hey, this is this
and if you don't like it, then you should just not stay here.” But
I think my parents handled the situation appropriately before I
needed to do that. And there's a bunch of other people just sit-
ting around in that kitchen area, just talking. But there were no
walls to connect everything.
There was the large church sanctuary thing and I was sitting in
the very front row. And yeah, they were like warning “Everyone
who is here tomorrow at 9 in the morning will be forced to sing
to God! But the service at one or something is private. And then
the service now will be such and such.” And so there are sever-
al different services. It looked like there were these Indian guys
walking around or something, it was very strange looking and
they were just like, looking like they were about to do some kind
of ceremony.
So I left, and I remember thinking these things about me singing

or thinking different things about how I lost my voice.
Then there were those Asian people and me sitting on the table,
but then switching to the couch when there were those black
people and I was looking for a place to sit.
I remember thinking about losing my voice. And I tried to tell

people, I did this to myself. I remember saying something like
I'm trying to show that all along I’ve been trying to make them
believe I did this to myself, but the fact is, you can hear in this
song, you can hear the evidence x actually happened at the same
time. I remember seeing this ultrasound screen, like a weird black
screen. I don't know what it was. And I was just really emotional.
There was a weird paradox and I can’t remember.
What was the thing in the bathroom too. I remember being in

the hallway and everything was really... I went to do something in
the bathroom and everything was really fucking creepy. The hall-
way was just terrible and disgusting. Then Asia walked by and I
said “I just spit in the hallway when I need to spit.” And then I
came out of that sanctuary at one point and I was running and I
realized I didn't have a name tag or something.
Oh, my voice recorder was in the toilet. Someone threw my voice

recording in the toilet and I went back out and got it and saw
it sitting there. Okay, I was also lucid at one point. I know I
was walking down the street in my neighborhood, batshit lucid.
And it was the weirdest thing ever. And I kept walking down the
street thinking, and then there was that punk rock guy that came
up to me. No, he he was dressed like an ancient Egyptian. And
he said “I’ve known your mother since she was in New Jersey and
she was in this band or whatever.” And I said “That’s weird, be-
cause usually people know about my father’s band but not about
my mother’s band.” (Which doesn’t exist) and he said “Yeah I

know it all! I posted this page online supporting all you guys. I
even posted one for you and Anita!” And I asked “How do you
know about Anita?” And he's like, “I know these things.” Then
he just walked away smiling. And he was a very kind looking guy.
Like a rockstar with an Egyptian theme.
But anyway, I was walking down the street over and over again
in the middle of night. And I just remember I just had the weird-
est visual things going on. Because I would walk as far as I could,
and I remember changing different things with the way the
streets look around me, and I'd make it daytime and then I’d
make it nighttime and I'd walk down the street and I was just do-
ing tests. Is this because I ate fucking peppers before bed? So any-
way I was walking the street doing these tests. Something messed
up, and I don’t know if it was a car, or if it was my mother or
something annoying, but I kept going down, down the street
over and over again and just walking until I basically couldn't do
anymore. I was seeing how long I could keep it alive. I was actual-
ly able to keep the lucidity along pretty long because I didn’t try
to force myself to find Anita and mess everything up. I just want-
ed to walk around lucid for as long as I could and see of anything
crazy happened. But I don't remember exactly what happened in
those moments. I'm pretty sure I just walked around listening to
what people were saying, and I remember thinking it was all so
strange.
I was with Isaac for a long time in this dream and I don't remem-
ber too much of it now. So me and him were having a good time.
But then something happened. I don't know. But we were run-
ning around frantically. We were just in this place and couldn’t
find our underwear or our pants, and so we're like, oh, my gosh.
And then. Yeah. So I remember handing me the thong and I am

refuting it.
And I remember getting mad at that boy at the end, “Man, you
ain’t that small and I ain’t that big. You gotta have something
that fits me!” I was just desperate. He came up later. Like hauling
too large comforters. This is after Isaac was already gone. He got
pissed off and just walked away. Isaac was actually acting realistic
in this dream.
But this boy walked up with these two large comforters. “Tell
me, which one do you like better?” One of them was blue stripes.
It was like blue, yellow, green stripes all over the place. They were
kind of faded. But then another one was like brown something.
In the end, I said, “Actually, this one's color... But this one's pat-
tern... So if they were both combined.” And then he finished my
sentence. And said “If they were both combined they'd be the
best of all, huh???”
“Yeah, that's right!”
And he's like, “That’s my answer, too!”
And so it was really funny. And I guess he wasn't looking for any
different answer than that.
I neglected to mention the part where I walked out of the sanc-

tuary. And this really huge pure white room where everyone was
just there for a while in sermon. Oh, I was doing something too
loud during the sermon. What was I doing? I was being too loud.
Anyway, I came out, and you're not supposed to walk out dur-
ing the sermon. And so I remember walking out right around the
same time as this other lady was standing there. And I think she
was supposed to be standing there but she had walked away. And
she's walking back by when I was walking out. And she's like,
“Wait wait wait wait wait, are you Kori?”
“...yeah?”
She begins laughing and reaches into her pocket and pulls out a
piece of paper that just a little tiny 1 inch piece of paper that said
the word Kori on it, and then says “Don’t lose this.” And she was
kind of being funny about it, though, because she thought it was
funny that she found this and knew it was me, just because I was
walking everywhere at a really fast speed. So she could see how
this might have fallen off of me. This was a pass that we needed
in order to do or access something. And so I lost mine, apparent-
ly through the night and she figured it was me. By the way. I was
moving around and walking that I had lost it. And so she just let
me through.
And that's when I met with my father and sister in the lobby. I
was really happy because we had these two things that we cap-
tured. The little little clown guy, and something that was like
a giant, creepy insect. But something happened with the giant
creepy insect, it revolted or something and freaked out. And
ooooooooooooooh, we were looking at it. And it was trying to
do something, and it killed itself. It killed itself right in front of
us. Me and my dad were discussing it and what it does and then
it did that. I just remember we're standing there looking at and
we kept fooling around with not letting it out because it kept like
pushing on the jar top. And my dad kept pushing it back down,
making sure the jar stayed close, this thing kept trying to push
the jar. It was trying really hard, and then it would actually get
some progress and almost come off but then my dad would just
effortlessly push it back down again, and undo all of its progress.
So after this happened about three times in front of our eyes, the
thing just pulled out one of its arms, which looked like a scythe,
and just slashed itself in half. And I couldn't even tell what I was
looking at first. And I could just hear my dad go “Oooohhhh...”
“What? What happened?”
“You don’t want to see this, this will disturb you a little bit in
your condition.” Meaning that it obviously relayed to the throat.
And I'm like, Oh my gosh, and that's when I freaked out. I'm like,
“I hate everything everything.” And that’s when I ran down the
hallway yelling, because the whole time I was trying to make the
best of the situation, but this place was just gross and freaky and
unfortunate. It was really freaky.
What was I doing in that place? There was something I was do-
ing way too loud, and someone was worried I was gonna get in
trouble because of my loudness.
I just remember these Indian guys walking in. There was a pastor
there for a while just doing his thing. There was something where
we all... okay, there was some kind of recording that I got, too.
Okay, Patrick was there. I remember Patrick standing to my
right. I think this was somewhere around the beginning. I'm not
sure. But we're all just staying in this place. It looks a little more
camp-like then. And yeah, it's towards the beginning. I wonder
if turned into Isaac eventually. I just remember Patrick stand-
ing the audience. And I was just recording little bits and stuff
of what people were saying. But then at one point, we all just
started singing this weird song. It was just very strange. I didn’t
singing but they started singing. And Patrick started singing in
this hilarious fucking voice. I just remember during the worship
service, hearing this weird operatic voice and I'm like, “Where's
that coming from?” And I realized it was him. And for this one,
he switched between like a, like a falsetto and a deep baritone.
And it was really really funny and he was just smiling the whole
time. I was just listening to the song and I totally forgot to to hit
record on my voice recorder and he couldn’t believe that out of
all the things I record I missed that one.
I just l walk around for a while. it was like a house party,BUT

big nice house with dim lighting. At least in some areas, it wasn't
nice in all areas, that's for sure. But there was a nice living room
area slash kitchen. like one of those kitchens, it's kind of just like
a countertop. And you know, it's not very many tables to sit or
anything. I just remember walking around and there's all these
different ethnicities, and I remember seeing these Asians and I
was thinking that they weren't there before and that they just
spawned here after the other people left, hahaha.
I just remember going and sitting on the glass table in the middle
of the room. And I just sat there for several minutes. But then
when I started seeing other people walk in the room, I looked
over and I saw that there was little... maybe I waited for someone
to leave and I jumped in this chair, long couch, but the couch was
mostly crammed with little papers and stuff. Like stacks of stuff,
so I went into the area where it wasn't.
I wish I remembered more about the details of my losing my

voice thing because it was a very creepy moment. Because not
only was I giving this very specific example, it was like some kind
of catch 22 kind of thing. It was very Strange it was like “This
is what I've been telling people it was from all along, but this is
what really did it.” and I was even thinking ‘I can't believe I spent
my whole autobiography making sure to accentuate the fact that
I sang in a crazy way just so it makes more sense to others when I
ultimately end up losing it.
It was weird because every time I’d think it I would just get this
really creepy black screen with like stars all over and just look like
an ultrasound thing and it was really bad feeling and I freaked
out when the guy said that tomorrow morning at one or some-
thing everyone here will have to be here to sing these songs, and
everyone who's here will have to sing and there’s no excuses. And
I remember staring up and saying “because of such and such I
can no longer sing” and I was gonna blame it on religious reasons
or something. Maybe it wasn't, I don't know. But I was about to
freak out in front of everybody because I didn't know what it'd
be like to be standing here tomorrow at this time not knowing
what was happening and then I see everyone singing but me and
not only that, but then him come up and get mad at me because
I'm not singing. So I was terrified of how that would feel. Be-
cause it would be too much for me, I guess.
I was walking through the top floor of a mall. There was a Macy’s
or a department store. I don't think I stayed long. I think that I
just kind of popped in and out. I feel like I remember meeting a
girl in the mall. But that must have been really brief in the begin-
ning.
Once, while walking down the street in my lucidity, I lost my vi-

sion. But then I got it back, because I didn’t give up on it, and I
left bringing back. It really was one of the clearest, most amazing
pictures that I've ever had in a dream. But at the same time it was
kind of fuzzy, because what I did was I pulled it into first person
perspective, so I guess it wasn't in that already. And I remember
that that was a chore. It was a chore to bring on that perspective.
And it was weird. I was trying to keep it without it switching.
And even though it felt like it was in that perspective anyway,
there was something different about the way I was doing it. I just
remember walking down Londonberry.
I feel like it was the clown guy who killed himself. And I feel
like then he let another one out. It was just a clown holding a
pumpkin, a miniature clown pushing a pumpkin into the cap.
And so yeah, apparently, like when they're caught, they're caught,
because they’re trying to push a pumpkin through a hole in a
ground. And so when one pops up you grab the pumpkin. And
sometimes there's like one of those guys attached to it. And so
they were bottled up and put in jars. And so we got one here be-
cause someone else had some other ones. I don't know how we
got it, but it was like a souvenir kind of thing. But they were just
really really unhappy. Then he just kept trying to do it. And once
he realized he wouldn't be able to get out, he just killed himself.
And I just remember not knowing what just happened. He had
really sharp arms. It looked like a little man in a weird costume,
but there was something insect-like about him. But the other one
looked a bit like a centipede. But it's really dark and really creepy.
Just a minute earlier I was saying how much I loved having these,
but when the first one killed itself I was so distraught I told my
dad to release the other one too, and the other one was let loose
and gave that formal “Thank you.”
“ANIMAL FIGHT”
12/01/2013
My mother and father were on the couch watching Seinfeld. At
the very end I was sitting on eBay. There was a fake auction and a
real auction.
There were these two animals fighting right off my deck? And
it was kind of bizarre because at first I was not sure they were
fighting. But I just remember one kept jumping and jumping and
leaping out on my deck and the other one kept coming away with
the other one its mouth. One was clearly winning. And there
were a few times when it landed next to me I was gonna try to
take it and hide it because then the other one would run up, get
it in its mouth and then try to run away, and it would keep escap-
ing and it was kind of brutal. I felt like they were dogs but I don't
know how it was working. I don't think it was dogs. At one time
they seem positively huge, but another time they seemed really
small. So I'm not sure what kind of animal they were.
There was also this girl that I was with for a while and her re-
ceiving good treatment and I wasn’t, I was being treated unfairly,
even though we were doing the same thing. And I don't know
much about her. We were close for a while. I don't remember ex-
actly how close but we were just together for a while and I can't
remember much, but I remember she sat kind of strange. She
sat very stiff in what I thought was like a geometrical posture,
just kind of curved in a certain way like with her knees where it
looked... geometrical.
At the very end I was standing in my basement, and my mom was

asking me for help, finding something for her and bringing it up-
570
stairs, for money. I was waiting for her so I was just sitting there,
and I found a box of old Pokémon dolls and I just started crying.
“TWO BRYANTS”
12/02/2013
I remember looking over at the deli at the very end. I saw Isaac
and Bryant. They were walk my away. Then Matt and Bryant
were still standing there, so there were two Bryants. “Whoa, two
Bryants! What do they think they’re doing!” And then I went
and tried to see what they... think they were doing, and I was
trying to overhear the conversation, and they were talking about
The Beatles, and for some reason I found that funny.
I was in a giant supermarket. At the very end I was like standing

in the waters. Yeah, I was in a pool because my hair was wet. I was
subconscious because my hair was completely wet.
I remember earlier on being outside and walking from one yard

to another. I was walking in this really dark property where I was
about to make up lies to this one group of people, telling them
that these things that the other group left behind were... there
was this and this and this next to their corpses. Yeah, there was
a cannibalistic element to this dream. We were all having a party
outside at one point and someone next door... [trails off, unintel-
ligible]
572
“FROZEN DECAPITATED CATS”
12/05/2013
I was in that giant room, with a girl that I liked. The floor was
completely frozen and I went there the next day to check on
those two girls and I had to slide across to the floor to them and I
was trying as hard as I could to not think about what I was actu-
ally sliding on top of and I knew it, I knew what it was, but I was
just trying to think of it because I really wanted to talk to that
girl.
What did she do at the end? She powered down or some shit
like powered off. What the hell was that? I had waited the whole
time to be with her and I finally made it and she just shut down
like a robot. She practically died. It wasn’t humanlike, but it
wasn’t robotic either, because she just went limp and I was hold-
ing her at the time. So it was very very upsetting since I just got
to be with her and now this happened, and I feel like the next
day I had to start all over.
There were these cats. I remember seeing this video where all
these cats were stuck underneath staircases and these guys were
walking by trying to get rid of them, and then one of the guys
walked into it and it’s head broke off. They were just little cats,
but they were completely frozen. There was obviously something
wrong with the world on a mass scale. Everything was cold.
I was really just having a good time joking around and being fun-
ny with those girls. There were these guys that were like looking
through places and I had to put up a fight at one point, or I had
to do something very tactical. I had to deceive them in order to
protect the girls. I also remember taking a trip at one point.
573
I was in a shack in the woods or something.
I chatted with those two girls but they wanted to stay over and
talk something out. They got in a fight. I tried to help them get
together and work something out. I showed up the next morning
and the girl was just sitting in the corner all cold. So I slid across
and tried to be there for her.
There was something about the neighbor's dogs barking, and

something about my father doing something pretty bad.
I remember just walking around climbing on the stairs and I

noticed something was happening strange and I noticed things
starting to get stuck in the stairs.
I was so excited to see her and I just was holding her and she was
just fading. It was awful.
“BROOMSTICKS”
12/06/2013
Four or so people flying away in the dark sky on brown sticks
while a girl on the ground was yelling at them from below—Get
back here!” and stuff like that. And they don’t look like they were
too old. Teenagers, I figure. It looked like there were four broom-
sticks but one of them appeared to have two people on it.
575
“FINGERNAILS”
12/06/2013
I was at a party and I kept having to put trash in my pockets be-
cause that guy didn’t want fingernails on the carpet. I don’t know
if he ever said that but I figured it based on something else he
said. My grandma said “Show me your fingernails!” And she was
just being silly, but I asked if she would stop talking about it. I
was sitting on the couch having an introvert freak out because it
was so crowded. “I can’t move my left arm, I can’t move my right
arm, I can’t do anything.” Meanwhile my right leg was kind of
kept up leaning against my fathers sneaker. He was to my right
but he was sort of creeping to the left because someone else sat
down in the couch. I was really close to that girl with the col-
ored hair and the yellow shirt. We were all watching the slide
presentations depicting just people from like this church group
or something. And I just remember they color coordinated dif-
ferent things, like this picture is of girls wearing yellow, this pic-
ture is of girls wearing black. So they kind of put it together:
Then there was the girl sitting on the floor with a weird pose, and
then there was that one with a couple people turned backwards,
and then that small strange gray haired girl popped in front of
the camera. One of the girls was like “we should make a new
shot based on this shot!” And another girl said “no way.” I didn’t
know any of these people. I just remember thinking ‘What am I
doing here?’ And I remember I was in this one room with this
guy. And I remember seeing that him sitting on Wikipedia or
something. So I was asking him about what he was up to. Then
on the screen next to him he had a forum, but it looked like it
had to do with video games. I was just trying to get out of the
576
conversation with him, it seemed like he had somewhere else to

be. And he seemed to get older as we continue talking.
I was just wandering around looking for a way to keep busy since
everything here was boring me. It was just big party, people walk-
ing around. It was a nice house, fancy house, but the guy who
owned it, he was kind of cool, at first glance, but he was kind of
neurotic and he made me uncomfortable just because he said he
didn't want fingernails on the carpet. “When you clip your fin-
gernails, come over here to the sink, use the peroxide,” and he just
kept rambling about it. Then I was going to ask “What if I put
them in my pocket?” but I don't want to just start asking all these
hypothetical questions. It was weird enough that he was giving
all these hypothetical instructions. But my pockets were just fill-
ing with trash throughout the night because I was afraid to make
a mess.
At the end of the dream sitting on the couch and I got stuck. I
was like in a weird position. I remember I was kind of slouching
so I looked shorter on the couch than everyone else. At least
shorter then my father. I thought there was enough space for
me on the couch but all of the sudden it was like my father
was closer and closer to my side because someone else squeezed
and I couldn’t do anything about it but get closer to this blonde
girl, who I had spoken to in the beginning in the kitchen and I
thought she was pretty nice, but she was not my type.
I just hated the idea that no one knew who I was. I kept thinking
‘aw man they’re asking me to do this and I'm just trying to be po-
lite but they don't know that when I get back home I’m going to
be working on this occult philosophy stuff ’.
I was walking around the outside property. I remember talking

to this one guy. Someone said the word ‘uncle’ and then uncle
Jamie popped up, and then then the other guy looked at him and
I was like no, not that uncle, my other uncle; and I was referring
to someone who doesn’t exist in reality.
I was outside and I was doing something, and some guy asked me
if I had a brother or sister I could play with, I said “I have a sister
but she moved out and even though she’s only a few miles down
the road she's only showed up like once since she moved out sev-
eral months ago.” And he was like “Huh...”
There were mothers with children walking around everywhere.

Everyone seemed neurotic and stressed and a little older than
me. And I was afraid to ‘cause a mess or leave any trace behind.
This woman walked in the room and started saying something

my father. Just a loud woman just entered in who I think was like
the mother of the home owner, she entered in with another guy,
and they looked at my father, and they made a crude joke like,
“Ahhhh, I bet that’s what HE says when he’s looking at pornog-
raphy.” And my father let out a little fake laugh trying not to
make things too awkward. And everyone else thought the com-
ment was funny and so it was really just a joke, but she was like,
kind of feeling weird that he didn't come back with a better re-
mark, and so he finally said “I don't find that funny, to be hon-
est.” And I interjected after another point like “yeah, he's not re-
ally that kind of guy. And I’m not really that kind of guy either.”
Something was said that singled us out as these prudish peo-
ple. Something we said made us seem very puritanical, and the
woman had a little bit of a bothered snarl on her face and it made
the room kind of awkward, because me and him just dropped the
joke just to make a puritanical statement.
It was just weird, to totally walk up to a random guy and say that
kind of remark to someone, like she really wanted to say it.
After that guy made me self conscious about my fingernails, I

looked at my fingernails and they were really weird. Some of
them were pretty long and some of them were like short but real-
ly jagged and one just weird piece sticking out and it was just like
flying away. And I was like, man I was afraid that he was gonna
see me and tell me to clip my fingernails, and I was gonna that
just a few months ago I had them up to like three inches long and
so I don't care how long they get, you know, it doesn't matter.
This was when my grandma, who was sitting nearby, saw me star-
ing at my nails and, without knowing what me and the guy were
talking about, she made a comment like “oh show me your nails!”
And I made a comment like “stop acting like a child” or some-
thing like that and people looked at me because I seemed very
uptight.
When I found that guy on the computer, I think I was looking

for a place to work on my autobiography during the party.
I feel like at some point I locked myself in this kind of closet, this
dark room, with that screen on the wall and it had all these tapes
on the wall. I think it was around that time when I passed by
the blonde girl and she said something. I don't know what, but
she was going on and on. She was the only one here that seemed
friendly to me, but her hair was huge and blonde and curly. She
seemed kind and shy.
“HAIR OF THE MONK”
01/05/2014
There was some kind of monk and he wore a robe, as well as a
baseball cap. I couldn’t see him very well since he was behind the
curtain while speaking to me. Something about getting hair be-
tween his eyebrows. He wanted to grow his hair out in a certain
way. It was something about how he was going to grow hair in
the front of his head even though most of his hair was shaved off,
because he was a monk. He explained that, because of his posi-
tion, the hair in the front of his head was... he needed to be very
careful because the symbolism could be significantly altered by
just a little bit... So he needed to make sure he was careful and
knew what he’s getting. So he said "Maybe I'll do it around my
eyebrows... between his eyebrows," when I brought that up. And
I didn’t know if I could hear what he was saying. So I remember
asking... I don’t know. He was just looking at me.
There was a whole thing about a bassist. I was just sitting there
watching him speak, “You might know me for being a bassist,
but I'm also an expert at x and y.” I forget the specifics, although
I believe that it had something to do with cooking or chemicals
and he was just delivering this speech. There was something else
I wrote down. I can’t remember what I was talking about, unfor-
tunately. Something about four humans.
Then I went over to my neighbor’s house. I was standing inside

this large house with my parents. We were just standing there,
thinking "How can anybody just do what you guys are doing?"
and we were getting in fights with them. So I was walking around
the perimeter of the room, just getting these mean looks, and
they were just... ehhh... it was a very rich, large house and I was
581
sitting on the bottom of the staircase in one room. It was a very

large staircase and my mother was sitting nearby, and we were
talking.
“PISSITIZER”
01/06/2014
Did some kind of weird little skit with the camera... Weird metal
music that I was listening to. Bizarre laughing in it. Of course I
don’t remember what it was called. Names were in Spanish. Re-
member going downstairs and when I was first going out of my
house to see what other people's places were like... So I get a feel
for it... I wanted to... I was with... Rocky? or someone just out-
side of their place. I remember I just sat there...
(Illegible)
Calling my dad "Pallie.” Wearing a big green shirt, looking for

different things to call him. Coming up with all these WEIRD
names. How about just Pallie? "What's that?" "I think it’s just an-
other word for green." "oh, okay, pallie!" But it wasn’t... Haha...
Then I looked on a language service, looking for all the other
names for green... Everything I got was weird and vulgar... Like
PISSITIZER... And I thought, "Why does the world hate green
so much?” I just remember being in a room, my mother was sit-
ting on the couch, and a girl was sitting there with her... Okay...
There was a part where Jeiezza was sitting on the couch, and she
was flipping through TV, and I was lying down, and her legs kept
getting in the way...then she was going on about some store she
went to... I was like "What did you get?" and there was this gi-
ant banner now outside of our house with a pic of Mr. Mime on
it.but it was different looking. Didn’t look exactly like Pokemon,
but we knew what it was. It was like a peaceful, impressionistic
art style, and I thought it was hilarious... Because no one else re-
alized it was me. Mime...
583
I remember someone else opening up a package, and something

in the package, like a sticker or a piece of paper, got stuck on
something else... In the package. Like the piece got stuck and
ripped... And they got "PISSSEEED OFF.” And they were like
"No listen. This is RIDICULOUS"... Other things going on...
Packages...
I remember watching TV and there were these people skating.

They were jumping around... And there was something else with
like a saaatteelll... There was like a terrorist attack in the air,
something blew up something else... And the movie accidentally
used the wrong scene... So we got a terrorist attack from satellite
picture, so it was hard to see... Might not have been an attack,
just an accident... But they used the wrong footage, and it was re-
ally inappropriate timing for that....so yeah.
Seems like the green outfit father part lasted for so long... And
then at the end I’m thinking (pallor? was this a dream part?) it
was kind of weird — Jeiezza’s legs... I was just kinda lying there...
Not really lying on her legs... Just kinda. Wait what was that oth-
er thing. There was something about being in the dark... Being
approached... Something weird
I felt the urge to masturbate in-dream when I couldn’t make it

around this building due to feeling so... Aroused... kind of... Even
though it really wasn’t extreme physical arousal. I just felt like I
couldn’t handle it. So I walked into a hotel room... I don’t re-
member what happened, but I remember being in the bathroom.
I went into one of the rooms and tried to lock the door to the
next room, but there were three doors. Three locks. And one of
them wouldn’t lock... And that kind of got me more excited, ha-
haha. Then afterwards I remember going into one of the other
buildings... But it wasn’t me... I was this guy, kinda red hair, ma-
ture, and my girlfriend was scolding me... Because I said some-

thing about feeling like "Ever since you moved here you seem
uninterested in the relationship" and I gave examples... Like the
food she's been serving, and she goes "What? It's all been so I can
support something something something. I’m serving this food
because [?]" I don’t know why that was an issue. We were just eat-
ing cheap things... But she wasn't putting time and effort into it?
I don’t know. But we got these thousand dollar things... Eat at a
restaurant... She started listing all these examples of things and
how she's been saving up money....but things have slowed down,
because she and the three girls she's been living with have had
to come up with an extra 800 dollars each week for some rea-
son and that was driving her nuts... And then I look over and see
the other three girls on the couch listening in. I don’t know what
happened...
I was doing something in this place... What was it... Before that...
(24:00) there was some city... going on. Pretty sure I remember
walking around the city... From hotel to hotel...building to build-
ing. I feel like there was another girl. Not sure. Like during the
time when I was me, and not that red haired guy. I know there
was someone else...but who was it... Feel like there was a dead-
line. There was something counting down. Something I had to
beat. Remember staring at the wall in this one closet kinda room.
I remember something about an argument that happened. Was
it about music? I had an argument with some guy... About the
proper way to do something. And I remember I stepped down in
this really honorable way... I think. Or maybe I did the complete
opposite. Maybe I just kept going even when I knew I should
stop. Haha no I think it was the first one. Or I might have kept
going and then kept going and then said "Sorry I realize I should
have stepped down" kinda like the first one. I feel like there was
something to do with a game show setting. Some quiz shows. I
don’t know if I was watching it or on it. I might have been on it,

but it was not me... Or maybe not a show. Just a set... A set that
looked like a quiz show set. I remember an animal. But I don’t
know what kinda animal. Don’t think it was a dog. But yeah that
stupid red haired guy I was... I just thought my girlfriend sudden-
ly stopped caring... And she went on to point out that nothing
changed and... There was a reason behind everything she was not
doing... And it was pretty much all so she could do something
else (for me?)... It was kinda important.
I recall sitting in my old New Jersey yard...
[1/3 upperdump]*
Writing things down on the bulletin board. I was just... I don’t

know...
There was all that stuff scattered on my couch. All that stuff...
Girls —— find them. Couldn't find them at first. We were find-
ing —— and then the girl was having me go through... and [?]
says "You haven't asked me a question in a while."
“COLA SLAP”
01/06/2014
Girl scolding me / dropped two soda cans. Getting slapped,
smacked by those girls. That one girl with ponytails. Walk
around with those two kids around the back of the building car-
rying soda, drop two of the sodas, guy on the couch looked like
Rocky, "Wait... Who are you?" and he was claiming how every-
thing was a ruse, even how the wood chair he had was so stupid
it was a ruse. I was looking to masturbate a second time while I
was in my bedroom. Lots of conversations. Me and the girl were
staying overnight among others and I kept fumbling everything
I did and she would insult me, pointing out all my flaws. I re-
member at one point she asked me something and I told her I
was drinking. I remember when I carried the long soda box for
those guys and arrived at their place I said "yeah, two of them fell
out." I called them floaters, they had puncture marks in the side
but that was all, and I told them "They're floaters, but if you don't
squeeze them they should be fine.”
My job was to not drop anything. I recall that when Rocky said
he sensed the pigtail girl coming I went and stood at the top of
the staircase, staring at the door while I waited for her. I remem-
ber driving in a car with someone through the night—either my
father or the girl. I remember having a long conversation with
my father. I remember at one point the girl and I were in a sep-
arate room and she kissed me. We were having a sincere talk at
that moment. It was still a weird one, but there was an incredibly
weird tension between us two. She was always scolding me and I
never cared and never listened to what she was saying.
587
I remember making a comment about how stupid death metal

music was to someone. I remember attempting to piss... piss on
the floor... and not just once. I was walking around with that
guy’s cola. What was that thing... something on my face... spit or
something? I don’t know. There was that girl. We were walking
around. And there was another office building. There was that
really secret building where you walk around where the church
once was... two kids carrying soda cans. One of them was small...
Kinda little. I met all these people already. I remembered all of
them. When I walked in I was like "WHOA.” There was mu-
sic playing. It was a cool little room. I thought it was recreat-
ing the room the other people use. But the other one was for
adults. Most important part of the dream was the girl. That girl
and I kept getting in a lot of fights. She was always telling me
off. Telling me why what I did was stupid. It was constant, and
so I had to worry about every single thing I did. It was kinda ex-
pected though... And there were so many times when I did some-
thing and got slapped, but I would get slapped... punched. I don’t
remember. There were TWO girls. I remember just being in a
room... I remember turning around and there were people sitting
there; and I remember looking around to see who showed up.
Lot of people from my dream up until that point. So I was just
talking. Turned around and saw this guy sitting there. And I go
"wait..." and he goes" Yep. I've been here all along. Had to put on
an act. It was all an act. Even the kind of chair I used. That wood-
en chair was RIDICULOUS" "Wait... WHO ARE YOU?"
It looked like Rocky, but a little different; a little rougher. Then I

remember him saying "Oh, I can sense that girl coming"
“What girl?"
"There's that girl" then he holds his hands up like pigtails and I
say "Oh yeah... I was with her for a while.”
There was all this stuff going on around the dollar theater sec-
tion. Stuff over there with a kid too. Wait... Who was that... I re-
member walking out of the building... One of the buildings near
the dollar theater... With that girl... We were talking about some-
thing while we were opening the door. And then she says "Oh
yeah, I was going to ask you about those" there was a question
she was going to ask me, but she decided not to. She was going
to ask me about the people who affected me most, or something.
I don’t know. But then she was like "I won’t ask you. I figure it’s
best if it makes itself known over time" we were at a dry cleaner
or something weird... That’s when this little... Maybe a ten year
old kid came running up to me, and we started running around. I
don’t know why. But me and that girl had a really weird relation-
ship, that’s for sure. We were in this big bright place before that...
What was it... what was it... damn it.
At the end I was doing that thing with the egg. I forget. Then
that guy shows up and goes "What do you guys think you're do-
ing with my egg?" and [?] out of his mouth... Also some sort of
light... People light... Oh god, I’m tired.
"Star"... What the hell that was all about. It wasn’t really a star. It
just showed up.
“TOY FLAMETHROWER”
01/12/2014
Walking down the side of the road. There were head-
phones..scattered pieces of my headphones and I saw a toy
flamethrower and picked it up thinking it would be cool to walk
with—like a little boy... There was that part where I was eating
coins... Quarters and dimes... And I remember thinking at the
time "This doesn't seem so bad.'' Then there was a part where I
went and spent some time at a sort of ixe cream stand at the back
of a parking lot after walking around in the middle of the night...
I just stood in front of this stand for a while, making casual con-
versation with the person there... And I was staring at all the op-
tions available. I don’t remember much of the dream because I
fell asleep while doing recall, but there was more to it.
• Lava Crimson. Prisoners of War. There was this thing where this
guy used prisoners of war. There was this rank or position named
Charles... the Charleses. This guy who was being... getting weird
treatment because... just bizarre.
590
“DIRT ON THE COUCH”
01/21/2014
Licking her tongue while I was talking in this really strange way. I
congratulated him on his marriage "oh you saw?" and I told him
"I saw, I just couldn’t come out of hiding" and I was starting to
cry as he walked me out with his arm around me. The father got
mad at me for getting dirt on the end of the couch
"I only have one couch in my world" I said "and this is not a prob-
lem with my couch,” and there was something about him hav-
ing toooons of couches. I remember him then calling me a liar. I
stood up and essentially stormed out
She wanted to know why I wouldn’t take her back and I pointed
to something on her profile that was behind her showing all the
things she wrote, her emotions and it was very morose and I said
"I don’t know if this is a typographical error, or an archaic form,
but this word is supposed to be spelled like this." Like "Gloom /
Sad / Lost / " stuff like that...
Her sister was watching while I did that weird stuff with my
tongue and it made me feel strange. I first saw her sister when I
was waking up in the bedroom and I was sitting on the bed with-
out a shirt and she came in, she was standing in the doorway at
first but she came closer and sat on the edge of the bed and we
were talking and I might have been wrapped in something, but
I felt funny because she was seeing me without a shirt... Not em-
barrassed but that this was weird... With her. I remember talking
to her sister privately for a few minutes about something and we
were laughing at something I forget.
591
Guy in a video store talking about old cartoons. Woman asked if

I needed her help in finding what I was looking for. I said no and
she came over anyway and I told her I already found what I need-
ed. The guy was talking about how the only thing in these shows
that he ever saw that was good. It was about musical improv and
I said "YEAH! IMPROV!" essentially. Not exactly but we began
talking about it.
In the very beginning I was staying at my grandparents' New Jer-

sey house and had it to myself. I think I remember the temper-
ature being very hot and stuffy and the lights being veryyy dim.
Later I remember being in a department store and before I had
asked my sister to tell me of a cd she thought was good, so I went
looking in the cd aisles into the Christian cd section and was
looking at the cds to try and get into the stuff she liked but I felt
it was pointless and there were girls staring at me funny because I
was really unusual looking and I was standing among the Chris-
tian cds, and they were making weird expressions when they saw
what I was picking up. Somewhere at a different point, probably
later, in the dream I can remember telling someone why religion
and Christianity were ridiculous or something similar.
“MISSED APPOINTMENT”
01/24/2014
Being late for an appointment but realizing there wasn't any be-
cause it was already past 6:00 PM and I was explaining that I had
a hard night sleeping.
Sitting at a table with Uncle Jamie and several others and making
jokes about cigarettes. I remember sitting in a funny slouch po-
sition like I thought I was cool and Jamie was laughing saying
something about "Us being smokers" like what I had said a few
minutes earlier.
593
“STAIR AMP”
01/25/2014
B’s house? I was walking through the kitchen with weird move-
ments. The kitchen was connected to like three other rooms so
I can remember other people walking nearby like the father. I
was waiting on someone, I remember walking into the next room
and there was an older woman on the couch and she turned
around when I entered and she started saying something to me.
(Guy turned bottom stair on the staircase into a guitar amp and
he was kind of messed up in the head and didn’t realize that it
wasn’t very safe)
(The term “Mesa” is racist?)
*Dream 2 9
594
“RETARDED GUITARIST”
01/25/2014
——
595
“SELF-ASSURED”
01/28/2014
——
596
“LUCID ANXIETY”
01/29/2014
——
597
“EASTER DAINTY
CIGARETTES”
01/29/2014
——
598
“BUTTER MY SANDWICH”
01/29/2014
——
599
“POE GIFTS”
01/30/2014
——
600
“LOLLIPOP INTERROGATION”
1/31/2014 | 9:18 AM
I was in this weird crowded place and no one else was there be-
cause they had all left and I was leaning against all these empty
tables where there's all these candy and flowers and other little
gift baskets things for all these people that participated in the
movie or something. Some other thing that I couldn’t participate
in. And I was sitting there and Jeiezza was leaning against some-
thing while talking to me. I had two lollipops in my mouth.
What was that scene where I was being questioned and the guys
were raiding my room, and there was beer in my room and the
guy kept coming up to me and questioning me. And I was trying
to be funny with him. And then there was all that old stuff in my
fridge.
At one point I got stranded up in the mountains for a really

long time. What the fuck was that. I got stranded on mountains
and had to walk by these temples and run and touch these Tut
items. Then there's that part where I stole these spinels from this
little statue. And he was the one who was showing me all the
new things. He had gotten these new jewels, and I’m like, “These
are pretty” and I knew that by standing close to him, he's gonna
think I was gonna take them. So I wanted to show him that I
wouldn't even though I just took the old things he had, I don't
even know what it was. I thought it might have been something I
put in there. But it wasn't. I never even looked at it before putting
it in my pocket. But he said “Your sister came by earlier. And she
said her mother’s son looks just like you,” or something like that.
601
Anyway, it was just an idol on this platform. There was like, no

ground in front of it. And so there was space between there and
getting back to the main floor where there was like, weird cele-
brations, and everyone had been filming for something. I don't
know. I got in trouble. I don't know why I had to get kicked out
by all these people, all these police people.
Everyone was in the woods. I believe there were dead bodies in

the water. I had a voice recorder and I was playing back these
recordings of me and Tyler (or just Tyler) saying very bizarre
things. I don’t know why I was playing them. And there was like
this little five foot lip behind me and someone was sitting there.
And there was a guy to my left and someone whispered to me,
“That’s the guy.”
“What guy?”
“That’s the guy who knows how to do such and such magick.”
“I don’t know who you’re talking about, but I think I remember

when you told me that before because I remember telling you
that his life actually sounds similar to mine, except not as
strange.” I think I was talking to Matt C.
There was that cop who was really weird and everyone was going
through my fridge. There was that part where I was sitting on the
couch for a really long time waiting for him to get back, and I
just kept looking because I knew he was watching me and I had
to be on my best behavior, and I was so terrified because he didn’t
know anything about my condition. And I just remember him
making a comment like “Oh, you know, all this stuff ends today”
making it like everyone was gonna get broken up, me and my
family, and we all had to be taken in separately to the police. And
he was speaking smugly “Your life of confidence ends here and
now,” and I was just terrified and I didn't want to tell him that I
was already living the most miserable existence. And they were
going through everything I had. everything. I don't know what
the deal was, but I think there was like, people were going hiking
into the woods and I was throwing all these dead bodies in the
water or something and they were floating. I think I added two
more even before the day was through. I don't think it was what
it was supposed to be. It was just something weird going on.
I remember in my fridge there were so many pieces of pie or

cheesecake or something that I had made a long time ago, and
not just ones I made but I saw on the bottom shelf ones that oth-
ers made. I don't know what that was supposed to mean. But I
was like, “hey, and those are the ones someone else made for me.”
And they weren't eaten. And it was just like my own little spe-
cial room. This is my own little building on top of this roof that
was distant from my parents house. It was weird, like on top of
school. I don't know how to describe it. But that was what the
fridge was filled with. I don't know if I offered them some or not.
And I never said it to him. But I remember wanting to say, make
a comment about all the beer all over the floor. Because I remem-
ber wanting to say, “You know, I'm an adult and just got my first
place. I'm still kind of a kid though. So I thought, hey, this will be
funny to get beer and throw it all over the place and be careless.
So the whole things really not really how I live, it shouldn't look
like me as much as it's just me getting like, really want it to look
like my own place.” And so I wanted to tell him that but I never
did. He was going away studying stuff. But I was really nervous
and I remember him sitting there asking me questions and I was
very childish and smiley, not childish, like stupid, I was just, you
know, just very nice and smiley, and they were weirded out. But
I think they liked me.
Then there was the part with the guitar where I was sitting down
and that kid knocked over... my guitar was in this place with
everything else. Like there were about 10 guitars lined up against
the wall, people had just put them there and I think people were
allowed to go and just check them out and play them or some-
thing. Mine was one of the farthest ones to one side. And I was
kind of feeling weird that it was over there, because I wasn't really
wanting people to play it. So this guy wanders over there, and I
worried he’d pick up mine because it was the only dark one, and
he's just looking through them and staring. And when he gets to
the end, he does this... I don’t know if it was careless, or if he did
it on purpose, but he sort of hit two of them. Not really hit, but
something stupid he shouldn’t be doing to peoples stuff. He did
it to mine and someone else’s. And I mutter to the guy next to me
“That guy just did this with the guitars.” He asks “which ones?”
And I tell him which, and so the other guy heard me, the guy
that owned the other guitar that got hit, and so he stood up with
me, and we went over there. And all of us guys just like stood up
from the couch and went walking over this guy. “Hey, you, what
are you doing to the guitars?”
I walked over there with everyone else so I felt shielded by the

crowd, but I was totally standing toward the forefront. So when
we got over there I’m thinking dammit, because then when the
guy looked over at us, I was right in his line of sight, one of the
nearest to him. He wasn't like a big strong guy or anything. But
he definitely didn't seem like he minded picking a fight.
One of the guys took a swing at him and then he tried to hit back
and then he looked at me and he was just being a big jerk. He
kept saying “So what! So what!”
One of the cops is as asking me if I knew some movie star who

apparently lived in my area.
We were simultaneously indoors and outdoors. The set-up

would be very difficult to describe, since there was a strange level
built into it. It also looked like my Londonberry yard.
So anyway, I just remember doing this ridiculous move with my

arms when I saw him coming close to me, because I did not want
to fight and I was kind of freaked out to be honest. And so it
was like this karate stance almost. It just looks like a really stu-
pid kung fu move. And the guy was just looking at me blankly,
because it was totally unrespectable and not manly. Then I made
some comment, and he chimes in with “Yeah, says the guy who
just did a stupid, pretend martial arts movie move on me for no
reason.” And I’m thinking goddammit.
We were all walking in a line for something, like fifteen of us.

We were walking through this tunnel, over near where the gui-
tars were, to get to some higher level. I don't know. And mean-
while the guy was still kind of fighting with us. I just remember
thinking he was about to start beating me up, and it seemed very
bad, because I have a very clear, weak spot.
Then some guy mentions a movie, and I told him that my guitar
was the one used in that movie. I told him “my parents were
there, and I was in the movie as an extra. But I was asleep in the
background, because I was a kid when this happened and didn’t
realize I was being filmed. And my parents were extras too.” I
don't remember what it was. And I'm like, “Yeah, but my parents
are totally extras too. And at one point, you could see this, and
this one guy uses my guitar in the movie, or this is in the back-
ground during the movie. And it's mine. It's the same guitar.” I
think he made a comment about how it looks similar. I'm like,
“it is the same one.” I was telling this to the jerk ass. He's like,
“really????” And he got all interested because before he was just
like, being a jerk, because when I told him to get away from my
stuff he responded like “Why would I want to be near it any-
way.” But now he’s like “That’s awesome.” So now we’re just talk-
ing and chatting. “Yeah! And then then this happened, and then
this happened.” He thought that was pretty funny. And so now
me in this jerk are just talking like that.
I don't know what happened, though. But we kept walking high-

er and higher and we’re ascending to different levels. And sud-
denly I hear what sounds like a bell ringing nearby. It was the
wind, apparently. And I think the cops were looking for some
of us still. I don't know what happened. But I just remember,
we were up really high now. And I don't think I knew we were
up really high yet, because we're just walking upstairs. And we're
still kind of outside. It's impossible to describe. And then all of
a sudden, everyone's like, “Oh, no! We have to back now!” Be-
cause a wind started blowing us and we apparently waited too
long. That's the sign that we need to go. And we didn't make it
to where we were supposed to go. I don't know where we're sup-
posed to. But we didn't make it. And everyone just started look-
ing down and leaping and I looked down and like, Oh my gosh.
And down below us. There was nothing at all except randomly
placed tree branches, just hung like beams from one end to an-
other. And they were just so random. These people were jumping
down and then landing on tree branches that were like 20 feet
below and then falling from that. And it was just horrible, be-
cause there was nothing besides randomly placed tree branches
and it was so foggy. And I was just like, oh my gosh, I can't even
waste time here. So I walked over and just dropped and landed
on my crotch on a freaking tree branch. And after I land on my
crotch I go “At least I know how to do it!” In a funny, exasperat-
ed voice. And then I drop from there to another branch, landing

once more on my crotch, and once again I say “At least I know
how to do it!” I kept doing it and doing it and doing it. I don’t
remember how I finally got to one of the platforms. But then I
remember looking down at one point and seeing the muscular
guy dropping beneath me, and I saw him running around, and
everyone else was walking around too. And so it was very hard
to find a place to land because it's very difficult to maneuver. So
I thought I found a place. So I dropped there, but then realized
I had to run all the way around. I took the bad way. And I could
still go the way they were going. But I thought I was supposed to
be going the other way. And so they all went this one way, I went
this loooong way around. And they were telling me I wouldn’t
make it in time. And then this girl was like, “oh, no, now you
could just take your time to, to work on your fighting skills.” I
don't know what she was talking about. But she wasn't like mock-
ing me. I think she was like a friend. And this was like something
I came there for. I don't know. Like, now I get to go work on my
fighting skills. And I’m upset because I wasn't gonna make it out
with them. ‘Cause now I had to run all the way around. And I
was running around now in this weird place around the perime-
ters of this thing. There were little random temples every once
in a while. I would just go up to them, and then a little stone
Pharaoh, about three feet high, would just appear from the door
and just start like freaking out and fighting. And I would have to
take what it had or something. I'd have to take the rubies? The
spinels. And it was just a goofy thing.
I wish that I could remember more about the police thing, be-
cause that was really bad. How did that happen? I was just mind-
ing my own business and the police came. And I remember the
people having a party while I was being investigated and I felt re-
ally weird. I remember having to sit there and answer questions
for a while. I was terrified, like I said, because they said they were
gonna take me away. And they're like, “Well, this is the end of
your life as you know it.” And I'm thinking, “Dammit, you don't
even know what's going on in my life. You don't even know that
I didn't do anything wrong.” And I just remember being nice and
just like telling them about myself.
What was it? There was something like “Oops, I shouldn't have
done that.” Like, there was things I was, I was being kind of silly
while they were talking to me and I'd like get up and walk to
the other room just to get something to show off to them. Or
something. But I was like, Maybe I should restrict my move-
ments a little more. So I'm not freaking them out. Making them
go like “What is he up to?” kind of stuff. But I became friends
with the cop? Not friends, but he obviously got a kick out of me.
We were just laughing about stuff. I was cooperative. Very funny.
Very charming. And he liked that.
At the end in this like place and everyone else was gone. Because
I had arrived there late. I had just made it back from that ledge
where I was talking to that little Pharaoh statue thing about his...
He was talking about these little gift baskets or something. And
he's talking about these little special things he got and I'm like,
“aw, that's cute.” While I took the stone out of his little stone
holder or something that was just to the right of the doorway
without even looking and seeing what was. I just walked through
and like reached my hand and grabbed it, put it in my back pock-
et, like “what you got there?” Looking at what He's fooling with,
but he didn't see what I just did. That was when I was coming out
into the rest of the place where everyone else was supposed to be(
from that long trek around the place.
I was standing there, and I remember someone mentioned Asia,

like she was popular in the movie. There was something they
were filming and she might have been pretty popular. She was
gone and I remember looking on the table and there was a gift
basket for her. And like “She got all this PLUS a fun time with a
movie and no cops and not having to fall off branches???” I was
looking at it and it was like a basket. And it had all these pretty
little things in it, you know, like chocolate. And it was just the
basket. But what was cool about it was, it was like, color coor-
dinated. One basket would be all blue, one basket could be all
white. And so it'd be like, say, a white basket with white can-
dy and white jewelry, and a white card. And then a clear wrap-
per thrown over the rest of it. It was cool looking, because then
there'd be a blue one near by to. I got a kick out of it. And so I
was looking at them. And I just remember standing there leaning
against the table while looking in one direction, at the direction
where everyone else was, and the levels were were really weird
around here because I was not everything was level. And some-
times there were m these weird gaps between levels, where there
was nothing but space and you didn't want to fall because then
you just fall forever.
Now it was in that like ceremony room? I don't know why I keep
calling it that. I don't know what else to think. It was part store,
part restaurant, part I don't know. Not possible to explain. So I’m
sitting there and Jeiezza is standing by the table and she’s talk-
ing to me. I'm sitting there with a green and a purple lollipop in
my mouth, which I apparently took at random from other peo-
ples gift baskets. And I had another green and purple thing in
my hand. I don't know what they were. They may have been like
rings, or something for my finger.
Was I telling the cop about Idempotence in a really cute way? I

feel like I did.
But anyway, yeah, I was talking to Jeiezza. And she was making
some really funny comments, and I just remember that the an-
swers that I said in response had to be bizarre or kind of suspi-
cious just because they couldn't be anything else. I was answering
her. And so then all sudden, I looked over to my left, and I saw
a guy standing not far from where she was, and he was just look-
ing at me with like a very suspicious face. And I'm like, “Why
is he looking at me like that? I'm like, I'm not the one saying
the weird things.” And I remember sucking on these lollipops. I
think I might have had one in my hand and one in my mouth.
But they're both wet. Like, they had both been in my mouth
at one point. And then I looked back at him l while I was still
talking, and he just looked very suspicious. And then I thought,
“Oh, my God, he can't see Jeiezza.” And it didn't occur to me that
hat was the case before, and what I was saying probably looks
really suspicious right now. It wasn't even what I was saying as
much as it was the combination of what I was saying with what I
was doing. I was only doing some of the stuff I was doing because
I was thinking, “Well, if she's gonna do it then then hell, I’ll do
it too!” So I'm just sitting there with like, people's gift baskets. I
don't know if I stole people's gift baskets or not. I was hovering
around them for a while. But I think that's why the guy got suspi-
cious, because I was just standing around other people's gift bas-
kets. There were like four per table and there was little round ta-
bles all over the place where people would come in later and eat,
but they were all out at the moment. They had just got done film-
ing and went out to do something else. So when they came back
it would be like a party which thanked them for their efforts,
hence the gift baskets. And so it was just a stark realization... that
I'm just sitting here on the floor, eating these these lollipops that
I took from other peoples gift baskets, I’m saying weird things
and I look like I'm talking to myself. And just a short while after
I got away from the cop... and I’m not even sure how I managed
that in the first place.
There was some kind of romance scene early on, but it was so
far back. I don't remember. I'm trying to remember more details
about that guy. That guy sitting on the left. I never looked at him.
But I knew what he looked like, based off of mental images. But
I wouldn't look at him. He was sitting like, six, seven feet to my
left. And he was up on this little ledge, this little step or some-
thing about five feet high. I don't know what to call it. But like
the things outside the mall, you know, the plants? I don't know.
I wasn't trying to compete with him, but I think it came across

that way. His stories simply weren’t that interesting.
I just remember coming outside at one point and there are a

bunch of people walking in the woods. I was going to dump
something. I don't know there might have already been bodies in
the ocean. And I didn't want to draw attention to this one area
because I knew that that's where they were. I don't know. But
something about bodies still being in this little lake right near-
by the woods. I had to go do something with the water. I think
this is where I went over and started playing a recording. Then it
went from there to the guitar part.
Wait, what was it about a bug? There was something about a poi-
sonous bug and I don't think I saw a poisonous bug, but I was
telling some story about one. I was using it as an analogy. Or I
was saying something really bizarre about a specific insect that
was small and poisonous and it was creeping people out.
What a wacky dream.

“THIS IS NOT A SONG I DID”
1/31/2014 | 7:20 PM
My father and I were sitting in the truck. There were several peo-
ple who came banging on the door because of what we did when
we went through those Volkswagen bugs. We pushed them all
away with a car. We were trying to get to someplace. I don’t re-
member what we're trying to do exactly. They were banging on
the car, and a guy entered our car and sat down on the seat. And
it was really kind of freaky, even though he wasn’t threatening.
My father kind of shielded me, and I kept putting my face down.
People kept walking by, though they didn’t come in like he did.
The first guy got mad. The second guy didn’t really... there was
the black family after the few frat boys, there was black family.
At the end I was sitting there going to the bathroom with my

mouthwash bottle, which was filled with urine. My father had
cleaned my room for me somehow. I don't know how. But when
I was sitting there with those people.
I was wearing something crazy on my head. A girl kept saying my

name: “Tennnnnndooon. Tendontendontendontendon.” I took
the thing off my head and said “How did you know it was me!?”
And she tells me “I was at that party the other night.” Then
she began telling me about myself. I think she mentioned Rich-
mond. Then I stood up from my chair for a minute, off my com-
puter, and went over to where she was. Then there was this other
girl who looked just like the other one. They looked almost iden-
tical. Must have been sisters. Well, she jumped in my computer
seat as soon as I walked away and started fooling around with
whatever I was doing. I yelled “AHHHHHHHHHHH!” Be-
612
cause I was thinking ‘Why is she in my chair? What is she doing on

the computer?’ But then she made a look at me. I was like, “Screw
it. Whatever.”
There were all these little kids sitting on the edge of my bed talk-
ing about my Pokémon stuff in a childish, sing-songy voice. And
he was telling me something, “I read somewhere that Pokémon
Charizard is the most something something game of something
something,” and I became irritated, saying “That doesn’t make
sense. That’s not a game.” “But so and so says...” and I got pissed
off at him and I didn't talk to him anymore.
That’s when I looked around and I realized my father had been

cleaning my room while I was away, and all of my wine bottles
were gone. At first I was relieved, but then suddenly it dawned
on me realized, “Wait, this room... no one's been here. What do
they think of it?” I remember thinking that and I was fucking
mortified.
There were all these Volkswagen Bugs in the road—not on the

side, but in seemingly random placement. There was one point
where there were four of them that were in the middle of the
road forming a sort of barrier. The opening was so narrow we
couldn’t get through, so my father had sort of force his way
through the middle so that we could go into a field. That's why,
when those other guys showed up later, they came opening the
car door and one of them walked, and my dad was kind of cover-
ing and protecting me. I had my head down in a weird way where
they could only see my eyes and I was looking up at them with a
weird glare.
Those girls were very attractive, though. I remember it was weird

when the family walked by since I was kind of thinking they were
gonna do the same thing that bad guy did, but they didn't, they
just walked by, they were smiling, and they came by to say some-
thing nice but I didn't know what they were saying. And so I
just remained in my position where they could only see my glar-
ing eyes and I felt weird afterwards because they weren’t with the
other guys and meant us no harm.
That guy was such a prick, too. He was just listing off all the rea-
sons why we were wrong.
My dad had picked me up from another party, though. I don't

know what party we went to people in the daytime at some kind
of place. It was a backyard party. I know Asia was in it at one
point. What was she doing. Something stupid probably.
We were listening to my music in the car while driving, which is

surprising. I was somewhat lucid at the time and I remember, as
we were driving, one song came on, and I said “Whoa, this isn’t
a song I really did! This isn’t a song I did! This is awesome!” I
was just going on about a song that I had never actually done in
reality. I still remember it, it was pretty great. And I remember
holding up my recorder to it trying to record the song so I’d re-
member it later on, unfortunately, I was still apparently not lucid
enough to realize that my recorder was bonded to the dream. It
had a really moody intro, just really cool guitar.
I remember when those black people were speaking to us, when I

saw they had children with them, I was gonna pull back from my
weird position and kind of look more friendly at them. But once
I started pulling back instead of doing what I originally planned
on doing, I kind of just pulled further into the background and
just kept my head completely down without looking at anything,
basically just hiding there.
And every time the college kids would walk by I would wonder
“Are they with the jerk?” Yet none of them were saying anything.
None of them cared, unlike the other guy.
I don’t know how or when I transitioned from the car scene to

where I was sitting in my bedroom at my computer. College kids
just started inviting themselves into my room
“CROWDED CAR RIDE”
2/01/2014 | 9:11 AM
That black guy was selling his album, and then that girl was sell-
ing her albums, too. He called me over there. And that was after
we had a really crowded car ride. It was very uncomfortable. And
that was after we were running around in this other building for
a while. There was all this water, and there were all these different
hallways and I was going in and out of different doors. There was
something to do with my grandparents, too.
I got claustrophobic during the car ride there. We were riding

with Vernon, and one of the guys riding with us was very short.
Something about him was cool. My bag was filled with Pokémon
toys and I felt silly, but m at the same time, there was something
about me that made everyone afraid. What was it... I came from
something really weird. We all got in a car. Me and these other
two people in the very back. I tried so hard to call the back of the
vehicle. I don't know why though, because I just thought anoth-
er guy was doing it. Then I realized I don't want to be back here.
And I started getting claustrophobic, and so I'm like, “Hey, can
you move this seat up a little bit?” And he's like, “I could do a lit-
tle bit” and he moved it up it wasn't enough. So I was going “I’m
going to freak out, I’m going to freak out!” But I was kinda being
silly.
I was traveling with Alex, and I remember him saying “I wonder

what it would be like to go on a real vacation instead of just him
pulling along on what is technically his vacation” and I looked at
him and I said “I kind of like that better, because this was his va-
cation, and he decided to have us with him and it's sharing this
and showing this about himself,” and I gave all these answers.
616
Then I stopped and thought, ‘Oooh, he's never heard my ‘good an-
swers’—the kind of stuff I've started saying since I've been private for
the last five, six years in isolation. He's never heard my more mod-
ern and mature outlook.’ And I remember the look on his face.
That girl was selling a CD of hers and I wanted to listen to it,

but she was doing commercials, so she had to show her CD off
at the same time that she showed off someone else’s work. Hers
was more like a long thing. Then that black guy across the room,
I looked at him, and he was doing little gestures to me like telling
me to come over there. Like he knew me. I realized I knew him
when I came close. I'm like “Whoa, that’s so and so.He lost a
lot of weight.” And I don't know who he was and how I knew
him earlier. But he was selling his new debut album and he was
singing a song over there in the corner, just trying to advertise it,
and he was just being silly. And he was putting me into song. He
was singing a song about trying to get me to come over there in
the corner and listen to his new album with him. But then he was
flashing it around and I saw that the album was named the bad
word for frozen water, so I’m like oh geez and I didn’t go over
there.
What was all that stuff happening in that place with all the dor-
mitories? Nanny and Poppop were there, and we were all pack-
ing things up for a while. I got in trouble or scolded because I
was never quite ready and I was always packing so many weird
things and I was leaving things behind. What was going on?
Weird crowded place. And then we took a trip across the coun-
try. We may have also went swimming in the water at some point.
Feel like I’m missing chunks.I feel like there was a scene where
someone was falling and I had to catch them, or some other dan-
ger. I remember I was known for something specific and it was
freaking people out.
That red headed guy was totally self-conscious because he was re-
ally small—like three feet tall.
What was in this place? Because everyone was staying in rooms

overnight and it was this long, weird almost camp kind of set-
ting. Was there a point where I was crying? Was there a point
that was really emotional? Was someone crying? I remember
having a best friend and everything was cool but then something
got screwed up and we went separate ways.
There was a point where I was on a computer and I was holding

everyone up because I had to delete some stuff. I forget who we
were staying with but there were these nice people and I know
there was a girl. I had been temporarily using this computer
while I stayed with these people. So I went through and delet-
ed all of the pictures and documents, trying to make sure I didn’t
leave anything weird behind that they could find, though I was
really wishing that I had taken the time to leave other things be-
hind for the girl that she could read to remember me by. I feel
like there was some weird kind of argument about honesty versus
dishonesty. I was getting mad because it was taking me so long go
through and delete my files all those things and everyone was in
a rush.
There was definitely a dog in it. The dog sat in a corner and I
would look at it from across the room. This is when I was in that
classroom and got in trouble.
There was something that I wasn't able to do at first, it seemed

like I was able to do at the end, and I feel like there was two of
them. There was one that was weird, big and strangely shaped,
and one that was normal, and they were kind of curled up to-
gether.
I don’t remember what my grandparents were doing. I think I

corrected Nanny on something.
I was walking around doing something creepy in the beginning

that had everyone on edge.
“SKINPEEL”
2/02/2014 | 8:33 PM
I was talking to that girl and we kept getting disconnected from
each other. And then something deleted in the file and went over
to the previous file. Then there was a lot of stuff in my book that
came appearing after being deleted for a while. Then there were
all those Israeli beatniks. Then there was that time I kept peel-
ing all of my skin away. And I remember seeing that guy there
who gave me treatment, and all those people there were receiving
treatment while I was peeling my skin and I kept making fun of
the song they were singing. I was showing my sister “Hey look!”
And she turns and goes “What?” And I say “Skin!!!” She was
watching while I was peeling it. I forget what I was talking to that
girl about, but fucking Asia and Chelsea were in the room at the
time and banging on a drum behind me.
“If they don’t step back then they hurt themselves from this re-
ally strange raw procedure. It's just very real.” I don't know what
the fuck I'm talking about, but this is what I just started saying
and I realized the recorder wasn’t on. I was on some school cam-
pus, it was in Israel it was pretty normal. That’s when I started
peeling my skin off.
There were some really abstract elements to this dream. I felt like
I was throwing languages. I remember being in the Londonberry
utility room waiting for my sister in the hopes that she would say
something to me but she didn’t. Something about caring for me.
I was also looking through my autobiography and a bunch of old
files that I thought disappeared or got deleted but they were sud-
denly back.
620
I had a pleasant time speaking to that girl, but I remember that

there was a terrible delay at one point. I would say something and
then I’d wait two seconds or three seconds and then hear myself
ask it, like an echo. And then I hear her say something again, and
it was very frustrating.
• Hey, there’s a beast on the chair. A BOX on the chair. There’s a

BOX right there on the chair. SHIT! DAMMIT! I guess there's not
a box on the chair. I mean, I don't know, I haven't gone out to check.
But I'm hallucinating. That was... dammit. There’s definitely not a
beast there. I saw in my mind, my opening the door and expecting
a box and there was none.
“TEAM JESUS”
2/03/2014 | 6:30 PM
Drawing all those pictures and making those weird outlines.
There was that part where I appeared and was falling in the water
and this guy helped me. He was part of Team Jesus. His daughter,
I don’t remember her name, but his daughter’s team was called
something like... Team of the Raiders.
[Illegible]
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“DEATH MALL”
2/03/2014 | 6:58 PM
I was in the mall with my sister. That fat guy came smacked me
across the foot and that dog was licking that guy who was get-
ting annoyed. Everyone was hanging around in this store. There
were all these creepy things going on and we had to escape. We
were going into all these different rooms. We had to hide for a
while and make it into this one room which hadn’t been used in
a very long time, so that the people passing by wouldn’t know
that there were people still alive there. One of the guys; a musi-
cian, touched my t-shirt and was commenting about how it was
a nice fabric. And then the other guy goes “That’s like something
Jamie would have. I wonder how he’s doing.” And I said “You
mean Jamie so and so?” And he says “Yeah!” Referring to my un-
cle. Then he goes “How is he doing?” And he didn’t know that
he had gotten married and had a kid.
There were a couple guys and a couple of girls who were really
happy about that. It was weird because C was standing there the
whole time. OL showed up at one point with a weed pipe and
smoked. He took a puff of smoke, and it came wafting over to
me. And I said “Awww man I can’t get any secondhand of that
stuff in, I’m running for my life at the moment.” And he apolo-
gized. He referred to me as “the guy with harmonics for a voice”
or something weird to that effect.
Yeah, but my sister messed up a lot of stuff to do with the time.

she was supposed to be doing a lot of stuff earlier on in the dream
and didn't do it, so it messed up the time and then we each had to
623
rush and do something uniform. I don't know. It was really frus-

trating. Because if she'd only listen then she wouldn't have to cut
into what I was doing. But there were some kind of like mon-
sters taken over the store. And I forget what they were but it was
pretty creepy. There were these machines coming by every once
in a while looking through, and that’s when it all started. The ma-
chines came by. And there were children singing. There would be
two big people and they'd be carrying along a couple small peo-
ple, and children were always singing. It was pretty freaky.
I forget what else OL was talking about though. It sucked be-

cause I had to walk the dog while I was talking so I had to go, and
then it ran up and started sniffing that other guy and he was like
“This is the first time a dog has ever done that to me!” And he
seemed a mix between pissed and surprised.
These guys were musicians. And at one point their song hap-
pened to play over the store speaker and I caught myself singing
along, and I thought “Oh no, he’s going to realize I am a fan.” He
showed up right when that happened. I wasn't saying anything
about knowing who he was. I was just trying to have normal con-
versations with him.
I remember I fell back between the beds and I think he thought

it was because I got a little bit of the cannabis in the air. I
breathed some of it in, but no it was just because I was really be-
ing goofy. And I was falling back between like the two of the
beds on display, and I said “Someone freaking help me!” In a hi-
larious way. And so one of the musicians, along with one random
girl, had to pull me out by the feet. It was so funny.
I was talking to the singer for a while. He just walked up while

those other people were commenting about my clothes, so he
reached out and starts feeling the fabric of my shirt, agreeing
with them “Ah yeah, this is nice, where’d you get it!“
At the end, the last time I saw them, he was like “All my life, I...”
I forget what he said.
When he called me “the guy with harmonics for a voice” I re-

member telling Asia “I don’t know if that was an insult or a com-
pliment” while walking away. “does that mean I’m squeaky?”
The place was so creepy. The store was shutting down. Me and
Asia were running. We were having to hide underneath these
aisles, like the end of the aisles, just so we didn’t get detected. Re-
ally dark, cramped spaces. Fortunately we went undetected.
They had things lurking all over. Children and adults and mon-
sters and robots, all coming around and making sure no one got
out. Wish I could remember more about the beginning.
It was weird to see those musicians as I was running for my life.

It was such a dark dream but their presence kind of made it a bit
more bearable and lightsome.
This girl and I were going back inside these weird rooms. We
were looking for a place to sleep for the night, because we figured
we were about the night. The girl was refusing to sleep months
couch or the bed that was there because the blankets were dirty
and we didn't know who had been using them. It was a big bed,
pretty tall.
“THE PLAY”
2/04/2014 | 7:04 AM
I was attending a play that was put on by Tyler at the church.
I remember that one of the songs featured within the play said
“oh my god” or “what the hell” or something of that sort, and
when people complained, because it was a church, they respond-
ed with something like “get over it, this is just the way we do
things.” Tyler was in the play singing, a musical. Apparently he
didn't like dressing up in costume to do it if he had do musicals. I
asked my father if he was enjoying doing what he was doing now.
And my father said “He was last night when I asked him at least.”
It was funny seeing him singing on stage. My mom was in total
disbelief “That doesn’t sound like him at all. That doesn’t sound
little Tyler!” And I said “That sounds exactly like him.”
There was that elder who was dressed as a wizard and he was re-
ally bothering me. My dad and I had been hanging out with him
for a while in this one little area and he just seemed irritable.
And then later on there was the bowl up in the air. It was a giant
wizard head, and he had to adjust the bowl. He said “I'm gonna
put my hat onto the head of the wizard.” So he puts his hat onto
this giant ring. Then he had to send his assistant, who was an old
woman, up there, just to center it.
There was that black guy I was about to who was cool. He came
up to me he was talking about video games. I didn’t really know
what I was talking about, though. He was like “Man, they got
this, they got this.” I don't remember exactly what he's talking
about. At one point I asked “What is that, Digimon?” “Nah.”
Then he told me “If you ever get good at such and such, come to
me and let’s fight it out.” I'm told him, “Yeah, I just don't really
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play video games.” I was explaining. And I didn't even know

what most games he mentioned were. I asked how old he was. I
thought he was older. He was nineteen, and I said “Oh really?
Okay, I’m eighteen, even though I just turned eighteen.” And I
used that as an excuse for why I didn’t know these games, and he
said “But I had heard of all these things when I was eighteen!”
He was cool, though. This was after the wizards elder flipped out.
• There was a kidnapping street and people had to walk down the
kidnapping street with their kidnappers and they had to be kind
of quiet. But they'd walk down. And then if they'd say something
they shouldn't say, or say it too loudly, the person who was walk-
ing would “Oh yeah, yeah! I know what you mean!” In an amiable
voice so as to appear unsuspicious, so that no one else knew that they
weren't kidnapping someone, but then they would cover the person's
mouth so they couldn't yell anything else and then cover them in a
mask or something.
Most of the dream took place in Pine Hill. It didn’t really look
like it, though. It did, in some ways, like the computer room was
totally accurate.
I remember there being a mean woman who was just going

around trying to disprove people.
Now I remember something weird with SP. I was in a room with

her and others. Something funny was going on. And people were
like, there was a huge wall. Someone in the back was going on
about how they couldn't see a certain star. It was after talking to
the wizard man. We came out and thought that he couldn't find
a star on the screen or something. He was looking up in space.
Me and my father came over, and I thought that's what he meant.
And so I'm like, “hey, I can see the star”. Now. It's like, show me
the this star. And I forget why it was an M or an L. I forget.
When they showed it to me. I'm like, God, it's right there. There's
no one that's done. And of course, there's nothing in there. We're
talking about I forget it was something specific though.
What was the thing that SP painted? It was hilarious. It was like
a picture of these people. It was a really awesome painting. And
it featured two people pointing and there were crazy lights and
colors. And it was like dark blue. And this is like at the very
bottom of a wall that's like covered with all this astrological as-
tronomical stuff. And so something really funny happened. And
I was staring at that while everyone else was talking about the
stuff that was going on above it. And I was cracking up. And she
knew what I was doing. She knew why I was laughing. Because
no one else was noticing. Her painting was pointing in a very spe-
cific way where it looked like a crazy little scene. Like these two
people were really happy pointing out what was going on in the
painting, and it's really hard to describe. I started laughing and
then she looked at me and started laughing because she knew
that I saw what she was seeing. Cool wall. It just depicted the en-
tire galaxy.
There was this weird feeling that like we were controlling the
stars and we were using them to ride around from place to place.
I could be wrong on some of that.
“PARADE”
2/04/2014 | 10:22 AM
There was a parade or some kind of fair going on, but I wasn’t
there. I was gone the entire time. I wanted to go, though, and was
attempting to at the very end. I spent a lot of time making prepa-
rations.
I kept sticking wet bread in the toaster and it wasn’t toasting, or

taking a very, very long time.
There were these fat kids in the corner.
There was a house. It was a fake house. And I was explaining to

Asia. I had a job too. I had a job in this basement level. And I
got to work with all these files and these things where I went in,
and all these kids, and all these people could be like, frozen and
then lined up. And then all this weird stuff going on. It’s just a
furnished basement and it was really simple. And I just would go
in and be like “check this out.” And there were fat kids lined up
all across the wall. Later on people would come and pick them
up. They were real, but they were frozen.
But there was a house I was in that was like... I just remember
staying in a bathroom. I also remember explaining Asia, before
showing up at my workplace, why this world was better than
the other one in most people's perspective, because it wasn't real.
And I was sitting there telling her why this unreal world was bet-
ter than reality. And I'm like, “Here’s the funny thing. And this
is kind of unanimous.” I was speaking for a lot of people, saying
“we” a lot. And I'm just explaining like, “We don’t just come here
for the spectacular things that we could never do.” Then I mo-
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tioned to the bathroom in which we were standing. “See? We’re

standing in the bathroom. I come here for things like this. Look
at this shower. Look at this. And then.” I remember going over
it opening the shower and being surprised that I could, because
I didn’t know if that was built into the system or not. And so I
like open the shower, jumped in, kept my clothes on, and said
“Awww coool!”
I was just explaining the worth of these everyday mundane

things within this strange reality. Explaining why this fake world
has trumped the real world.
Me and Asia got in a fight because I was showing her that place I
worked at in the basement. And I was telling her how she could
help me out from online access or something. And like rearrange
things online and work for me. And she was talking about actu-
ally just coming down and getting a job here herself. So and I'm
like, “You can't do that.” I was telling her I get at least $100 a day.
And I remember that sinking in during the dream. I was think-
ing, ‘if I get at least $100 A day here. Then why am I still being so
careful to spend any money?’ And then I started trying to weight
it out: should I really just expect that I'll keep getting it steadily
and just go out and blow my money or should I be smart about
it?
But yeah, I was bragging about the place and then she said “I’ll
join!” And I said “You can’t just do that! You can’t just work at a
place that I'm already working in and possibly steal my job from
me.” And then I was thinking in my mind at the time ‘Wait, did
I do that to her? ‘And I think I was thinking I did at the time. I
possibly did.
I was just waiting to go to the parade at the end of the dream.

“TIGHT SHOES”
2/05/2014 | 12:00 PM
Me and that girl kept going outside to talk and just hang out.
We were having a great time with each other ever since that time
I explained to her that I used to have a crush on her—referring
to back when I (apparently) knew her a few years earlier. And
she said something like “But you didn’t know me,” “That’s true,
and it’s why it never became anything more than a crush.” I don’t
know but she was great.
She was kind of bad in the beginning. I don’t remember exactly

how. Then at the end we were going outside for a cigarette. Kept
taking walks. And Mike was getting pissed. The pastor’s fami-
ly was there too. At the skating rink. And they gave this king
speech about how to behave, and how God helped them build
this place. I remember seeing Tyler, but this was before the rink,
because Tyler and I were out somewhere. Then we entered the
building and we’re going down the escalators.
I was wearing these shoes that were really tight against my toes.
They were orange and I never wore them before and I wanted to
wear them, but once I put them on I realize I wanted another
pair and I was telling Mike “Don’t mind me. You can start it up
anyway.”
The girl I was with was getting tired from me making her run
around a lot but she still went o my with me. People were picking
the team where they’d be the most comfortable?
That girl was really, really pretty. She had some kind of red outfit
on. I don’t know if it was a shirt or a jacket. She was totally older
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than me, too, though maybe not by much. I had met her before.
And I met up with her again in some parking lot. I was telling
her as we walked between cars, walking hand in hand... actually,
we were trying to get rid of her at first, but then I was reminisc-
ing about how I used to have a crush on her.
Me and the girl were just whispering a lot during the whole lec-
ture.
“SELL THE KIDS”
2/05/2014 | 10:37 PM
(M)* I was traveling all over the place. It felt like France or some-
thing. Had a Parisian tone to it. And people were helping me
hide and keep out of sight of certain people and they were let-
ting me know how to get out of certain places because I was just
going from one place to another, but I never stayed for too long
before taking off and going again. And at one point I realized I
had a lot of people helping me.
I was talking to Kenny and when I came back and looked I saw
Patrick sitting there instead. And then I started talking to him
and then he turned back into Kenny at the end. “Whoa, wait!
That was Patrick,” and then after a long pause I said, “She’s six
feet?” I couldn’t think of any funny comments to make which
had to do with the fact that his ex-girlfriend bore some physical
resemblance to me, from which I had jokingly inferred that he
had a crush on me.
I was in a restaurant for a lot of the dream. And what was the
thing about that weird flap of skin being cut up over someone's
face. It looked like a visor. And the whole time there was this
weird irreverent show playing on the television show in the back-
ground. Maybe not irreverent, but it certainly ran contrary to
Christianity, so I was surprised my parents hadn’t turned it off.
I was having these really goofy conversations with people. At the

very end of my dream I became lucid and wondered ‘Should I
wake up here? Because these are all things that I really want to re-
member.” could be me because these are some really funny things
that happened.
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“GIRAFFE ISLAND”
2/06/2014 | 6:57 PM
The giraffe on the island. Those guys were inspecting the houses
after we had a complaint about the keys, and I went and fucking
kicked the guard. I destroyed him. Some guy had come up to us
and asked us about a key, and we asked some other guy and he
went to go check but he shouldn’t have had to check.
Then there was that weird thing with that girl. We were all doing
something very weird. We were in Pine Hill during this point.
And we'd be picking sacrifices at random. I remember I was in on
it with different people at different times. And it wasn't like they
were closer than everyone else: they just knew about it. Some-
time they’d even be the people I’m deceiving. In this instance, it
was a girl. I totally led her to her... It was weird. I forget what
it was. But I remember walking without any emotion. It was
bizarre.
I started... drinking glasses becoming warm.
Yeah, I just remember running around in a beach with a man

with a giraffe head. He would attach things to his face and then
stretch out his neck really far. But anyway, I was traveling with
him and several other people. And some guy came up to us and
tried to sell us a key or something or tried to ask for help with
figuring out how to get back into his building. But we ended up
taking the key and we went across the desert, just looking around
and we went up to this guy, his guard type guy. And we're like
and we had a question about the key. He was examining it, and
something went wrong. We learned someone had reported it for
being a rip off key from a different place, a competition place,
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something bad. And so he was like, “Okay, I'm going to come

with you guys. and verify that this is not used for such and such.”
We didn't want him to do that apparently because we were do-
ing something weird with the key. And we couldn't let him now
and he was about to find out. So we started attacking him while
he ran. And I just remember yelling while we ran. It was me and
him upfront. I remember saying that I could put my arms and my
legs around him... something very violent that utilized all of my
limbs and was kicking him with both legs simultaneously. And
then the giraffe guy was like “I can do such and such,” and then I
reprimanded him, saying “No, the purpose of me doing what I'm
doing is not just to be cool but to achieve such and such result.”
The whole thing revolved around a premise of tricking people in-

to going to places they didn’t want to be, and there were a bunch
of us doing it. It was bizarre. I remember I finally got that girl car-
ried over to the sandbox area, but then when she sat down there
I remember just looking at her and then looking around kind of
casually kind of pretending that I didn't really do anything wrong
and that I've been waiting for this reason, and I think I just kind
of chilled out a little bit or maybe even changed my mind.
I remember her drawing my attention to this other woman.

“Hey, that woman over there is wandering around and some-
thing something something.” What she was doing is bringing to
mine something like cosmetics or perfume or something wom-
anly. Something fragrant. Jewelry. She kept drawing attention to
it. And this woman was just acting strange. Then I would look
over and there'd be no woman. And then I wouldn’t look back to
the girl that I was with and she would wear a creepy smile, and
she would immediately look back down. So I said “I see what
you're doing. You’re trying to turn this around on me now and
make it so that I was the sacrifice taken to the place.” And then
she said “No; there really is a woman!” And so then I looked over
and there was no one again, or it was someone who was really far
away that was not a threat. So I look back and she was looking
at me with another creepy smile. So I say to her “Stop that!! I’m
not falling for that.”
“YARD PARTY”
2/07/2014 | 10:50 PM
There was some crazy party going on in my backyard in New Jer-
sey. This evening party going on. It was ridiculous. I woke up af-
ter like sleep and there were people all over the place. And this
was the second day of it, also. When I came out this time, at
night, it was very dark, and there was a group of guys over at one
side of the yard, by the deck. If I walked to the end of the deck
and looked down they would be seen standing there. My father
was over there, too.
My grandmother was yelling something from the deck, “Do all

the water bottles have the shark's eye facing out?”
“I have no idea what you mean.”
“Do all the water bottles have the shark's eye facing out? Can you
check for me?”
“I have no idea what you mean. I don't think they do? I don't
know. I don't think it matters.”
“Well...” she walked off.
Then there was another guy—someone I knew from real

life—and a a girl I who seemed pretty cool. I was standing there
with a water bottle; and the girl said something about a shark’s
eye, and she pushed the spot on my water bottle and it started
spraying me with water. So I pushed it back, and the water had
leaked through the side. And for some reason, we kept hitting it
so that it was like, I hit the button, to make it stop, but then it
started spraying from a different area on the bottle. And I kept
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hitting it over and over again and it would be spraying me up

and down and up and down. And my face was drenched. She was
cracking up. So was the guy. My face and hair were drenched and
I had to go get a towel and I could just hear them cracking up.
And while I was drying my hair I looked on the deck and could
see Alex K talking to my dad.
It was funny. At one point I looked up and made a sarcastic

smile. And when I moved my head I heard my mother laughing
with someone in the yard, saying “This is the most confusing
thing. I can't tell what's gone anywhere.” And I remember think-
ing ‘I hear fuck everywhere’ because so many f-words overflow-
ing from all of the various conversations being had around the
yard. So I was drying off my hair with a red towel real quick and
then I put it down and wanted my hat back, but my father had
taken it. So I went and kicked him in his crotch and then took
the hat back. Then I went and I kicked him in his crotch again.
And it just kept going on like this, and it was weird, because he’d
block himself and I’d find a way to kick hard, and I’d take the hat
back, and we kept doing this over and over and over again, many
times in a row.
I remember going to sleep at one point inside the building. I

don't know it just went on for so long and there were so many
things going on in the yard. There was stuff with music and there
were just a bunch of college kids in my yard partying. Lot of little
goofy things going on at once. Hard to remember specific in-
stances. It was just so chaotic.
“TOP HATS”
2/08/2014 | 10:11 PM
At the end I was in the car heading back with all those people
that I had met in the warehouse place. We were going back to do
something, I forget what, they were like “All right!” and they had
l top hats on and weird black shirts and possibly like little bow
ties or ascots. And they were all ready to go back. These are the
same three people that I was hanging out with in that large ware-
house place. We were just sitting there up on the wall, where it
was, talking for a really long time. This is as I was supposed to be
leaving the building, and my parents can never find me, and they
had to issue a search party, because it was such a massive build-
ing.
There was that place where I and that guy went walking. We tried
to go on this one shelf and we couldn't make it and we went
up all over the side and climbed really high towards the ceiling.
Shelves. He was pretty cool.
I found my sister's camera at the end, too. I was looking through

all the cameras in the hall. There was all those funny pictures
my dad had taken of me while I was lying on the couch in that
one room that looked like a hotel room. I was eating gum. I was
putting gum in my mouth over and over and over again. It was
just terrible. And all the people around me were just chewing
chocolate doughnuts. So yeah I was just eating gum, stuffing my
face with it.
I remember one place where they were all speaking Hindi. I went
in this one room and they were all saying “Come on!!!” They also
spoke English.
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I remember having a long talk about God, though I never got

into it. The girl started talking about a pastor of hers, saying it
was someone who she really respected. I remember my legs were
hanging off the side of the while as I was talking.
“I like to think I’m a rational person...” and I was using words like
“quantifiable” and “objective.”
• She was calling me by name... secretly. It was a name that gave

everything away.
My dad was taking pictures of me on the couch while I was wear-

ing striped prisoner clothes. And from the angle that he was
looking at the picture from across the room. It was pretty funny
because I had this skull thing on the bottom half of my face. So
it was like a skull jaw. I don't know. And he was laughing at the
picture because I was in a striped shirt, and from across the room
I just looked like a creepy skeleton.
So at the end of the dream I was looking through... there were

cameras. I came out in the hallway. There were cameras lying all
over the floor. And there was a bag of something. It was a bag of
candy. I don’t know what the deal, but it like some bag of can-
dy. Like a goody bag. Anyway when I came out there was cam-
eras all over the floor and I was looking for the one that had all
of the pictures of my stuff on it but I found my father's first and I
was looking at all the pictures he took, and I saw that one. It was
funny. Trying to remember what happened in that room when I
was sitting there chewing gum. I felt kind of funny. Everyone else
was eating donuts. And I wanted to eat a donut but I was putting
more and more gum in my mouth. We were all sitting there talk-
ing but there's a TV there too. So I was staring at the TV.
Yeah, I remember I kept losing my grip on... me and those other

people. It must have been just maybe two other people sitting on
that ledge. It was a guy and a girl, at the end of the dream there
were three others— the guy, the girl and the other younger skin-
nier guy. I remember I fell at one point off the edge while I was
doing something, and I was hanging in there, and I couldn't pull
myself back up. And I remember looking at them and thinking
they looked kind of indifferent to my plight. But I was still talk-
ing with them, and I asked... the girl started trying to help me
back up, but she wasn't strong enough by herself. So the guy also
gave me a hand, so they each pulled me up back onto the shelf or
whatever we're sitting on by my hands. I remember the girl took
the wrong hand at first so it was kind of awkward because, if the
guy was gonna help me up too then they would be crossing my
arms just to pull me up, and so it was kind of weird at first.
It was like a weird warehouse room, like a storage where they

kept a lot of... I don't know.
“WALK THROUGH WALLS”
02/09/2014 | 9:02 PM
There was that guy who kept walking to the walls and doing dif-
ferent exercises and they kept trying to pick him up because he
was getting... he was going to be killed. There was the cat. There
was me walking down the road with my blanket. There was a big
black guy I saw and that was pretty much it, and he was walking
on a different street in a different direction.
I was walking around the house with this cat that was in a kennel
crate, so he let it out of the crate.
Ugh, I said all these weird things before about this Indian per-
son. I remember reading a few minutes ago when I lost all that
stuff because my camera wasn’t filming me speak. Dammit. So I
already did a full recall and lost it, now I can’t remember.
Anyways, walking around with this cat. I was walking around

with it. I took it out of its containers. And I went in every single
room in the house trying to find place for it. And I just ended up
going back and putting it back into the crate in the end.
Then there was this other scene where I found out that these peo-
ple had some kind of same thing going on as me... what was that
all about.
There was this guy sitting in this little room with this woman,
and he's just sitting there, and he's being requested to imitate
these movements, and so he does this weird DDR kind of thing,
then he goes running through the wall, literally through the wall,
and then you see this woman go chasing after him through walls.
She pulls him back and goes “Sir, you're not done with this. You
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need to take this seriously.” And he’s yelling “I can’t! I'm not
good with this!” And this is all to determine if he's gonna be put
to death, and then she's talking about how he’ll be put to death
after this. And how and the pills that they give him “You’ll be
taken immediately after this into another room and they will get
you ready for your death and, they'll give you pills, but they're
not to make the death... the bad elements better, but the good el-
ements better,” and he was getting freaked out at what she was
saying, because he doesn't take away the negatives from the ex-
perience that he's about to suffer through if he loses, but it's
trying to enhance the positives, and she’s saying “You can feel
your blood stopping and your organs shutting down,” and all this
creepy damn stuff.
At the end I was walking along the highway and I had a blanket
over my head, my green blanket and at first I was just walking
with it at my side but then I put over my head and I started walk-
ing down the middle of the highway, past the intersection, prob-
ably not far from where the mall is. And I can remember look-
ing at a truck to the left, and there were these two old guys that I
should have known that I thought were parents or grandparents
of one of my friends.
That cat was really freaking out. The house just felt empty. And
I went in this upstairs room, pulled the cat out and then just
went walking around from room to room to room. I was trying
to figure out where to put it, and it's just climbing up me and it
was just trying to claw me and I was teasing it in some way. It
was stressed out and trying to get away. But in the end I took it
right back to the crate. I can’t believe my camera deleted my first
dream recall—like fifteen minutes.
“BATTERIES”
02/10/2014 | 9:21 AM
There was that shelf. There was thad mask, like some weird Ka-
men rider kind of mask. And if you push it down, it starts mak-
ing noise and saying phrases, like “You’ve caught me! You’ve
caught me!” And all these different quotes. It was coming from
beneath the lower bed, and the person, and the person on the
bunk bed above my bed was someone who worked at the place. I
heard them whispering to someone. They said someone’s name,
like “Kevin, find that police equipment and take it away.” Think-
ing they heard my stuff and they didn’t know what it was. So I
thought oh shut, and then I took it out of the drawer real quick
and went running down the hallway, with that and a few other
things, and ripped the batteries out of it on the top floor that
was isolated from everything else. That was creepy, because I was
doing something with batteries for each floor. I was pulling out
a single battery for every machine on different floors. Like I ran
all the way up to the top floor with the mask and pulled out one
battery. And then there was one other thing I had my posses-
sion I brought this to the top floor and pulled out one battery,
and I still remember it because it was a yellow battery. And I had
my pocket full with fucking batteries. They looked like triple A's.
And they were just overflowing. Most of them were in my left
pocket.
Aw man, there's that part where I got pissed off and walked away
because that girl... I was sitting there on a couch and a girl was
asking to do something. She was really upset, what had upset
her? It was a little girl that I had been being nice to, and she
was afraid of me. I remember she was having a problem, and I
644
reached out my hand and told her she could hold my hand, like
to help her up, and she just wouldn’t do it. And I made a weird
comment, like “You don’t like these hands?! These hands have
been on TV!” And some of the people nearby, who overheard
me, were like “Whaaat?!” Because of the way I said it to her...
like how I was trying to convince her. It sounded bizarre. She had
hurt herself and I was trying to show her that I knew how to help
her. I don’t know why she thought badly of me. The whole room
sloped up. It felt like the old church camp main room. The room
went around and up... hard to describe.
I went up the slope. And I remember when I was coming back

down from the top level, I apologized because I was acting all
weird and making weird noises while people were trying to sleep.
It was something freaky. I was angry, because I went stomping
around after the girl thing happened, and I thing somebody re-
acted to it. I didn't know what was going on, but someone had
done something that made me look bad. And now children were
afraid of me. And that pissed me off so bad. And so yeah, I think
I ended up accidentally waking up some people at top floor with
my noise. But the top floor was very creepy, and I remember
thinking this is really top secret stuff up here. So that's when
I was looking at the thing with the batteries. I'm like “I really
need to make sure I keep this battery out of this thing, because if
someone gets a hold of this machine, they can't be able to operate
it. That'd be terrible.” And so that’s why I was taking the batter-
ies out, so if people got a hold of my machine they wouldn't be
able to operate. Something about these batteries was more than
just power, but also like information. The battery for the top lev-
el was a yellow battery with like an outline of a car on it.
But then I was walking back... on the way back down, I passed
by a giant spiderweb not far beyond the entryway. And this was
technically on my same floor, but I was on the farther end of it,

so I still had to go around the curve to get to my cell.
I don't remember what I was doing with the toys, but there was
like... I had all these toys and I was getting ready to leave. I want-
ed to leave the place and so I started taking all the toys that I
brought and putting the actual toys in l the bottom left drawer
beneath the lower bunk, so that’s when I tried to put the mask
in there and I pushed it, and I thought “Oh, this makes noise!”
And I kept pushing it, and it wouldn’t shot up. And that’s when
that police guy reacted. Cool mask, but I can’t tell how it would
fit on the face.
But yeah, that was spider what was really daunting, it was fright-
ening. I was like, Oh my gosh, it was just huge. But it wasn't real
looking anymore. It was like fake now. Like it had been replaced
with another spider web that’s fake, which is a lot more white.
And I knew that a real spiderweb had been there before. But this
one freaked me out just as much and I just sat there looking at
it, and I’m like I guess the right thing would be for me to do is
to tear this down so these other people down here don’t have to
walk to look at it. Because that would be terrible to have to wake
up to this every day. And I was just staring at it and I was just
freaked out. It was creepy. Something about it was very distress-
ing.
There was a popular girl earlier in the dream. She was so popular
that I don't think people really believed that me and her were go-
ing out or something, and she was far away at the moment and
she was coming back to visit and I was so happy. I think there was
also some about the news. I remember watching the news and
there was this black lady on it and she freaking out and crying
and she was acting kind of crazy too and I remember thinking
like wow it was hard to watch this. It was just daunting.
Something was going wrong somewhere. Something that was go-

ing to affecting everyone soon. Unfortunately I cannot remem-
ber what it was.
There was some animal that was scratching me and giving me a

hard time. I was walking down the street. I don't think I was in-
side one of the dorms. I was on the street. I was walking through
and there was like a little dog or cat and there's like kids playing
with. It might have almost gotten me in my sensitive spot with
its scratching. I was trying to be nice to it but it just didn't care.
Very skittish.
“TURN IT BACK”
02/10/2014 | 11:06 PM
• Turn it back! Aww haw, you turn it back
Turn it back! Aww haw, default, turn it back!
That was weird. I was riding an owl across the sky, and it was like
the bad guys’ owl. Asia was sitting in a chair watching some ani-
me. I think it was One Piece. I remember those other two guys
that were bound up in the tree tops. There were so many people
in the tree tops.
I remember that one guy shouting up to someone, and then

the response was “Blue men!” or “Blue type!” and it was a little
gnome yelling from the tree tops, and he said “Don’t be afraid,
we’re all men here!” He was commenting on the fact that this guy
wasn't being specific enough with what he was requesting, but it
was in blue text, which was weird. I was seeing subtitles.
We were all flying around inside these extremely high treetops

and there was like a big war going on. I don't know exactly what
was up, but I was being detained. I was trussed to a chair.
• Aww shit, once I just opened my mouth to talk I realized that I

hadn't been talking this whole time. I was gonna make a comment
about the Flim Flam Man but I don't know if... dammit, what the
fuck. What have I been saying? What have I not been saying? I hate
when I do that and I think I'm talking but then I really open my
mouth and then realize that I haven't been.
This was all happening in our backyard, and that's where the trees
were. I think there was an animal. I remember standing out by
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the street. That’s right, I was left alone to Nanny and Poppop’s
old house. I was in their driveway. I remember everyone else in
family went leaving down the street in the car, and they left a dog
behind. It wasn't a dog we ever had, but I was like “Are you gonna
take this? Don't forget this.” And they had some excuse for why
they couldn’t take it, so I had to take care of it. A weird dark dog.
I remember looking at it and saying “Well...” And then sighing
before walking with it back inside the house.
There was a fat Polynesian guy in the tree and another guy. They
were bound together and stuck at the top of the tree top. Then
there was a guy at the bottom who was calling for help from
some blue gnome, and the gnome said “You can call me such and
such, because we’re all men here!”
And the fact that the owl had gotten over twice the size since last
saw it. It was huge! Not even twice the size of like a normal owl.
I mean twice the size of this huge owl that I was already riding.
It was insanely big. I was chasing something on it. I don't know
what I was doing. But then there was a guy flying not far from
me who was trying to figure out what was going on. It was not a
good owl though. So I was like fighting it while I was riding it.
“OLD POPCORN”
02/11/2014 | 12:39 AM
I remember climbing these shelves. Last thing I did was eat a
piece of popcorn that was like a day old. I ate and it went
EWWW and I made a face, it was so stale. I went upstairs to spit
it out, and I remember my sister going “You just ate a piece of
popcorn that was a half hour old yesterday at this time.” What
a weird way of putting it. And everyone else went “Ewww.” And
this other girl was saying “That’s weird, considering the presence
of chlorine or something in our bodies which reduces or pro-
duces something something but for some reason we still can’t
put up with something something.” I don’t know. There were a
bunch of people hanging out and staying the night in the Lon-
donberry basement.
I had stacks of these little things, like countertop candy displays.
My parents were doing something absolutely despicable, and the

friends that were over were totally annoying. Most of the people
I didn’t know, not from real life.
There was a dog. Something that had been locked away. There
was something I let out of its confinement and then I got really
upset to find out someone had locked it away. Like a little golden
retriever. I can’t get a good mental image of it, though.
We were all talking about filming. And I remember I had to

climb atop the shelves just to get something weird. So it's kind
of shaky. Yeah, we're all sitting there huddled up in the corner
where my computer used to be, in the basement. And that girl
was going around filming music videos of people. I remember
650
her filming one of someone else’s and I watched it and was like
“oh geez”. At one point in the night she pulled the camera on me,
saying “Okay, do this. I'm gonna, you know, I'm gonna make a
music video of me playing my song.” She she was a pop singer.
She was annoying. I don't know why she was there. She was
friends with someone. And so she was going to create a music
video for her song, where it's about a boy and she's going to be
going around and, and all's I have to do is stand there and look
disinterested. I was playing the boy. I pulled my purple cap down
over my face and said “I don’t want to do this! I don’t want to do
this!” And she loved their. “That's good! Just keep doing that!”
And so I'm just standing there, and I kind of got into it over time,
and it was pretty funny. And there are a few times that I made
a cool expression but then realized that the camera was on her
at that point in time. I was like, “Ahhh man.” And she kept do-
ing these weird pan arounds and zooms. She was doing it all by
hand, no stand. I remember us all sitting by my computer to edit
it, and I thought this was awesome. “If I had these programs and
software I would do this all the time. I would make music videos
of myself every day.” And so I asked her why she didn’t, and she
said something about how security locked her out and doesn’t let
her access it all the time.
I remember setting up all those cool candy boxes and stuff in my

area, I wanted it to look nice because it's my little area and want
to show it off. But I was hoping they wouldn't realize that there's
stuff in there because I didn't want them ask him for the candy
inside.
And there was something I was tending to upstairs, there was

something that I kept thinking I need to get back to. But I was
just hanging around with these other people for a little while.
Just sitting at the bar. And I remember talking to my parents at
one point in time, but I forget what they were saying. I think my
mom came down at one point and was acting like an idiot. And
they might have been laughing in the background while we were
recording the video.
“ONOMATOPOEIA”
02/11/2014 | 8:05 PM
A funny dream with Uncle Jamie. He was using album art to
communicate what he was thinking. He was talking about that
friend of his and he was like looking through his MySpace ac-
counts quickly because he was playing some songs and I asked
“What’s this?” And he says “That’s a band called Mmhmm-
mmm-nnnn-mmm.” And I asked “Is that an onomatopoeia?”
“Naaaaah, it’s just a cool band!” I don’t think he knew what I
meant. So I asked how to spell their name, and he would just
say stuff that wasn't what it was. And I'm like, “Well, you try
to spell it!” And so he typed in something like “Hopesie Bear”.
And he’s like “Dammit I can’t even figure out how to spell my
friend's name!” And so he typed it in and all these pictures came
up if this one guy who looked totally full of himself. And he
goes “Aww man! He’s moved! How long ago?” And he’s talk-
ing about this guy. Then he was trying to get in touch with this
other guy this desert lived out in the desert or something. And
he’s sitting there in the computer chair getting all excited “Ah-
hh, this guy will have what we’re looking for!” He was looking
for people who might have a rare demo or something that he was
telling me about. And then he started going on about the whole
thing about the seventh track on the album missing. “The sev-
enth track on the album is missing, and the sixth track skips!” It
was because of something this guy did to the album that he was
entrusted with.
Then he said “You know what else?” And I made a funny com-
ment, and he made some weird comments about this guy. He
653
was saying “Damn it! He moved and he won't be back into this
area for like, who knows how long!” He was talking about this
guy who ruined parts of that demo CD. He then said a weird
line... that combined feminine terms with masculine terms sev-
eral times, so it sounded really strange, as if he had a relationship
with this guy.
Then he ran over to me and started showing me another album,

and on the back cover there were cartoons and they were animat-
ed. And it was like, it was a really goofy low rate cartoon where
he was leaning up against his bed. He's like, “See that in the back-
ground? It's Needles!This guy worked at such and such. Where’d
he get all that money? He STOLE it?” And he started going on
about all this stuff, and then cartoon went over and laid on the
floor with his head on the floor and started sobbing. So weird.
While he was talking to me he kept making me nervous, he kept

shaking the collar of my shirt, and kept hitting my shoulder and
my neck with a vinyl he was flapping around. It was just really
uncomfortable because I'm sitting in my bedroom, my current
bedroom and I’m in my chair and then we're just trying to have
conversations, trying to get along. My whole family is around
there, too. Nanny and Poppop too. Always making weird com-
ments. Awkward.
I remember at one point I looked over and my mother’s hair had

been cut and I thought it was Asia for a second.
I remember when Uncle Jamie was done talking, I turned in my

chair and was going to say to my mom “Don't you find it funny
that when he goes to try to illustrate a point in his life that he
goes to reach for his album and then he's pointing at it just like
just like I point to mine?”
Because like anything he wants to say, he either points to a song

title or a cover. There was also a part where Nanny pulled me
aside because she was concerned by something that I had said or
done. Nothing bad. She just wanted an explanation.
“MALL PUNK”
02/12/2014 | 11:49 PM
Walking through the mall with my family. My father was sneak-
ily adding scoops of frozen vanilla cream into peoples drinks.
And I asked “Are we supposed to do that?” And he said “No.” He
was just acting really funny, like a punk. And at one point, as we
walked across the edge of the mall, he was just like laughing and
laughing. I forget what at. But there was something in the win-
dow. Or I asked him something and he burst out laughing, and I
said “This is not normal, why are you behaving like this?”
I remember looking through a wall of t-shirts at a store in the

mall.
I don’t remember what happened before then. But I ran into a

guy two hours later, so I was with him the whole time. That took
up most of my day. And I remember being pissed off, because he
kind of interrupted my date. I was in the mall talking to this girl
at the time he approached.
656
“TIME AND SPACE MUSEUM”
02/13/2014 | 8:37 AM
That was an awesome dream. I was in my room recording this
music about the time and space... switching between time and
space in a museum, and it was based off of a dream I apparently
had before, inside this very dream, and it's crazy. I recorded sev-
eral songs, and they were absolutely awesome. I remember I al-
most started falling through the hole in my floor. There was a
vent in the middle of the room that I didn’t notice until later. I
was walking and my foot went through the floor and I thought
what the hell just happened. I looked down and there was noth-
ing, but there was a little vent a foot or two away, and I thought
“ It couldn’t have been that, right???” So I kept trying to put my
foot into just a little bit seeing if my foot could go down that
far, so as to see if this is what caused the feeling I just felt. And
then I started getting paranoid that God was doing this to me
for something something. I don't know. I was freaked out think-
ing this could be happening. Then I remember listening to some-
thing foreign and hearing some weird messaging.
I just remember that I lived the actual dream I was singing about.
I improvised on my voice recorder. I remember at one point I
started singing in a high register without realizing it, and I was
like, Oh my gosh, I sang in my high voice. I went to listen to it
and I got extremely excited. I was like oh my gosh, I did it and
there was no repercussions. So damn elated.
The song ended in such an unusual way.
What was I doing in that museum place, though...
657
There was something that was going to happen after the record-
ing, something I was anticipating my for all my life, it was about
to happen. There was this intense feeling. I was sitting outside
talking to a girl. I was also in church at one point but not a nor-
mal church. There was an outdoor event.
And something entered into the building, it was very weird. I

think there was a lot of boxes stuck together. They were not box-
es. It was like a really weird Museum. A weird building. And this
was what the song was about. The song kept going “Something
something museum of time and space!” Hahaha I don’t know,
but it was like the coolest song I ever did. Had so many move-
ments and some of it was really banal, really poppy and just kind
of like simple, but I worked it in there's soooo well, that stuff.
And even the lyrics in some places was pretty obvious, with the
rhyming convention, like you could predict what I would say,
but I still pulled it off.
I was at this park with my mother and she was laughing about
something in a very creepy way and it was a waiting room kind of
setting. I was waiting to get something done. I remember Lajos
walking by at that moment too, I think. And something weird
happened. I was sitting there with my voice recorder and I was
getting trouble because I kept doing some same thing over and
over again. I sounded like the Frankie Goes to Hollywood singer.
And someone was about to come over for duets and I was feeling
dizzy and lightheaded and fantastic, because I didn’t realize I was
able to sing, still. I got so excited, but then my foot started going
through the floor, so I was like what the hell just happened! And
I remember looking in the mirror while listening to the playback
of the song.
“TREE RIDE”
02/13/2014 | 7:38 PM
I remember some kind of thing going on at the house in New Jer-
sey. I was on the deck with this girl. And at one point, I'm sure
we went inside. I'm not sure if it's to look like the house or not.
I do remember the kitchen in the house. But gosh, it was a really
nuts dream, as detailed as can be.
Then that large platform I had to go too. After the thing with the
tree and the bird, with me and my family and a bunch of oth-
er people. We were in this tree ride. I forget what happened. But
whatever we were in was bumping against the trees. And it was
scraping against them. And there's birds coming out of the trees.
And it was really weird. And then we were up in the air, but not
extremely high. But after a while we turned around. I started get-
ting out and I realized it wasn't stopping. It was still going, and
so my father grabbed on and said “No! We’re still going!” but we
were almost not moving at all. So I looked at him and I said, “I'm
sure going to hate to think of this at a later time as being known
as that time that we wish we had gotten off.” Only I worded it
better at the time.
Yeah, and so right when we went down there was a show on the
water. It was almost completely dark. Except for a big Neo Cor-
tex kind of light display appeared in the water, like a giant skull
going back and forth, left and right. And there's two platforms
or five arrows as you jump across the platforms? and then there's
like three little things you have to fight. I managed to take the
right path, meaning the path thing to right. I was afraid to jump
to those platforms because it looked like it was totally unstable.
And I was like, wow. This was just bad darkness... so hard to see.
659
So I went to the right and started finding all these crazy things,
like arrows and that persons bikini. And the girl came up to me
later and said “I don’t know what happened, someone told me
there was a bikini here, but it’s not here, and this other person
said they liked it, and this other guy said he’d meet me here, but
he’s not here! And I know that this other girl likes him.” She was
just rambling on. And we were walking around... I had found so
many good things.
Okay, there was such that part was taking a picture. I was with a
large group of people that looked like church people. My family
was there, everyone was there. This was before going on that ride
through the trees. Like twenty or so people. Okay, there was a
stuff with my grandma too. Nanny. And there was stuff with
Asia, what was it. She was planning on getting married, and a
lot of us got really pissed off. Okay, so I'm taking the pictures. I
was standing like, really high up trying to just keep as erect as I
could in the back. And even pushing off of people's shoulders so
I could get even higher, so that I could look unusually tall in the
back. And I did in the picture. I looked crazy tall. From what I
could tell anyway. I think my mom or someone got mad, some-
one made a face at me just because I was so much taller than
everyone else in the photo. And that no one else was really realiz-
ing that I was gonna look so funny in the picture or unusual. And
then I remember at one point, we all started doing these poses
where we'd like point to things. I don't know if everyone's doing
it or just few people but I know I was doing some weird pointing
thing.
It was unusual when going through that one little compound

and finding all those weird items there, because I found all these
items that I knew other people to have. And now that the whole
thing had been restarted, I had the chance to get them. So when
I was finding him, I was like, Oh my gosh, one after the other,
because I was thinking, ‘now I have them, now they don't have
them’ and sometimes I knew who was supposed to have them.
But I took them instead. Kind of like that weird bathing suit.
Even though it was a girl's bathing suit.
It’s hard for me to explain how creepy it was in that moment

when I was about to get off the ride. Now that we got back to
the ground. And I still remember scraping up against the trees.
And I remember trying to pay attention and seeing if any birds
were falling down into the platform, because we're just scraping
pretty hard against the trees. And it was really weird. And when
we finally got on the ground, and I started to get off, and my
dad was like, ‘Oh no, it's still going, we still have to go down this
trail in the woods.” I was like, oh geez. And it was just like this
levitating platform going all over the place, and there was such
a creepy feeling. I'm like this is gonna be regrettable to go down
this route, when I could get off now. But I mean, it didn't actual-
ly get bad, per se, in my dream.
“SEARCH AND RESCUE MODE”
02/14/2014 | 8:58 AM
Asia was sitting there and I went walking in that creepy basement
where everyone upstairs was setting up boards and planks be-
cause they wanted to sleep for the night. I went walking down
the hallway to the ‘firemen section’ or something, whatever that
weird place was where their job role was completely different and
it was like rescue role. I went walking down there and then I re-
turned and went walking in the right direction. I told her “I just
went down the wrong direction. But I guess now it's also the
right direction,” or something like that. And she started cracking
up because of what just happened.
What was that thing? What was that fucking thing with JB? I
saw her, and there were all those people in night gowns. She met
up with me. She was in the next room over, in one of the bath-
rooms, and we met in one of those two-way bathrooms. I don’t
know what the fuck happened, but she started going nuts in like
a possessed kind of way. At first it was fine but I don't know what
happened. And then her system started shutting down and turn-
ing into... We all had like weird robot components or something,
and she started turning into a different mode; just like a really
dangerous mode, I think, because she perceived me as being a
threat, and then all of a sudden she started shifting into a differ-
ent mode because of the way I looked at her. And her system said
something like “Search and Rescue Mode activated” or some-
thing. I don’t know how to describe it, but it was the most re-
served for firemen and others when they were supposed to rescue
others. And I’m like “Are you kidding? That long, crazy scene
ends in such an unsexy way?” and I said this. I went walking
662
through the hallway saying this, and I knew that people might
be confused as to what I am implying because it probably sound-
ed bizarre. That’s when I went walking in the wrong direction,
what was I trying to find. There was another girl who I was stay-
ing with, what the hell was going on, and JB kind of just showed
up. There was that place... I went upstairs after that and I almost
got hit in the head with a fucking board when I opened the door,
I'm like WHOA, and I'm like “Was that supposed to happen?”
And my mom said “ You have no idea how many times we got
saved tonight because of these boards falling. Christie got hit x
amount of times. So and so got hit x amount of times.” And I
asked “How come every time you tell me the story you always
use the same people as an example even though there's so many
here?!” And she was talking about how these predators and peo-
ple always get hit and it saved her so many times. And I'm like
“You just set all these up and rely on them to catch intruders?”
when people that were like having system malfunctions and their
systems were going berserk.
I remember going back into all these rooms at the end like talk-
ing to different people, and I jumped into bed with someone,
what the hell was that about.
When I was up there talking to my mom, there were all these

boards leaning against doors and weird things things like that
that would have fallen over with even slight movement. And I re-
member there was like this big step and I looked up on top and
there's tons of people getting ready to sleep, “They’re all going to
sleep up there?!” It was a big attic and so dirty.
Something to do with bugs, and my health.

I made a joke about how I had injured my ass and my dad got
sad or offended because apparently everyone had the same injury
and was claiming to have an injured ass.
Just a weird apocalyptic setting. In the daytime Alex and I were

going around to shops in a brighter environment but then an
outbreak happened and these people started turning like animal-
istic and we had to kill them.
I took someone’s candy...
There were totally some zombie like things trying to attack me.
They used to be people. But we weren’t calling them zombies. It
was more electronic than that.
There was some kind of quiz show going on in this place and I
was on if, but I hardly remember that part of the dream.
Okay, a long time ago, earlier in the dream, something really bad
happened to an animal. I remember being being in the backyard
and staring through the fence and the dog fence was acting vi-
cious. Okay and there was something weird about the roofs on
all the houses in the neighborhood. It actually looked like our
actual backyard, except there were fences. There was something
really creepy with the roofs. My mom was acting like a complete
and utter idiot in the dream. I think I was with a girl in the be-
ginning, before JB. And that’s why I felt weird about the fact that
JB was sort of making moves on me while she was malfunction-
ing, because I expected the other girl to return any time now, so
I thought dammit dammit dammit.
I remember sitting on the floor in this dark room. This was ear-
lier on we're all sitting there, and I remember walking over peo-
ple, because they’re all on the floor. People were trading supplies,
and I was not, I was just walking around and getting mean looks
from some people.
When I saw that JB left her room I got so happy because I hadn’t
seen her in a while. I started running over... I went into this one
place in this one room and started creeping the floors, and every
all these rooms are joined together, and I was creeping into the
bathroom and there were like robes and stuff all over the place.
And so I was like getting in the face by the robes because I was
like crawling along the floor and then I crawled out into the hall-
way and into another bathroom and then I was just trying to take
shortcuts and just trying to follow her around. I wasn’t trying to
be creepy, just waiting for the right time to surprise her and say
hey. But then she ran into me when I was in the bathroom, and
it just got more and more... I don’t know.
There was just room after room and some times I’d walk in the
room and people would like give me advice or start talking to me
and be like “hey you need to watch yourself ”. There was a His-
panic girl in one room. She was just telling what to watch out for.
I also remember some guy looking for his daughter. There was al-
so something that I remembered that was like a test and the test
results were something about my hands, my fist. they were test-
ing our strength, they were the results for something that test-
ed the actual strength of our hands or something and mine were
surprisingly good. They were trying to see if we'd be a threat. I
think that was if we're a threat against we all had ways to mea-
sure our body and our hands and stuff. So it was gauging who
would be a threat based on what they were able to do and I was
in the threat category. Asia was surprised and I think I was, too,
like “Aw, cool, I’m a threat!”
“INSOMNIA”
02/15/2014 | 12:16 AM
I remember this time the door finally opened and she let me walk
in her room. I never got to, because I started feeling weird sen-
sations in my body right around that time. And I just woke up,
so my arm started falling asleep because I was leaning on if. I re-
member looking down. I was watching this little clip on a hand-
held system. And it was a clip of me from the not too distant past
sitting there in a white dress shirt and jean pants, all cool look-
ing on this craggy mountain top out in who knows where. And
it was like a rock formation rather than like a mountain. And so
I was just laying there talking. And I suddenly realized there was
two vocal tracks. And I could hear two vocal tracks going on at
the same time. And I was like, they’re kind of contradictory in
some ways. I'm like, why is that going on? And then I realized I
was wearing glasses, like reading glasses. Because I could see a re-
flection of... yeah, I’ll get back to that.
My father came home. And that was very weird to me, because
he showed up out of nowhere, and I was like... dammit.
I remember when I first became lucid. It was, it was because I was

going “I hope nothing goes wrong, This looks good.” I also had
that weird belly dancing outfit on there, and they’re like “What
are you trying to get them to do for you?” And I'm like, “nothing
at all.” I was just standing around, and I was afraid they would
get suspicious. And I went in the bathroom or something and
looked at myself. And that's when I started realized it. And then
I started realizing, I'm like, “No, this is becoming a new standard.
Now when I'm aware of the fact that I'm dreaming, I start getting
anxious.” And I'm like, dammit. And I remember asking myself,
666
‘didn't it used to be like, when I realize I’m dreaming, I just think

oh okay, or when I’d get a realization, I’d be able to ditch the
thought after a few seconds so that I wouldn't get fixated. Why
is that not happening now? Isn’t there a way I could split off and
leave this one behind? I don’t know how to do that anymore.’
And then I thought ‘Can I feel my side? Can I feel the pain in my
side? Do I start feeling the physical pain I’m in currently if I start
thinking about it?’ And then as I was focusing on it I started feel-
ing it somewhat, and I was getting more and more anxious. And
it was weird to me because I started just getting more and more
anxious. I was just standing before the mirror wishing the dream
wouldn’t end. And I was running around the house in the dark
with this girl. I remember hanging around near the kitchen... I
did something weird with the fridge, I’m not sure.
Yeah, when my dad got home it was all ruined, because I came
up expecting a girl and instead my dad was there. He was just like
standing around. And at one point I returned a few minutes later
and he was in the living room doing something with all the lights
off, and I saw him rearranging the cushions and I’m wondering
what the fuck is going on.
Then I ran and upstairs and that's when I knocked on Asia’s old
room‘a door and was trying to figure out what was going on,
and they looked like they're belly dancing. That’s when my mom
started asking the questions. Okay, so after I first realized I was
lucid dreaming, I went to the bathroom and came out, I remem-
ber I was very conscious of it. I was like, ‘I need to learn how
to keep this. I need to be able to keep this without freaking out
and just go with it.‘ and then after that that's what I went out of
the bathroom and I was looking and I saw that I noticed I had
the reflection going on. It was so weird looking. Because I was
looking at myself say something, but I saw this weird reflection
while I was watching it. And I saw my voice recorder reflecting

something verrrry lightly on the surface of the screen that I was
watching it on. I was like, what's this? At first I was thinking they
were both part of the image. But then I realized it was in fact
a reflection. And I realized I was also wearing glasses. And so I
took off the glasses. When I was realizing I was hearing two dif-
ferent things at once, and they were kind of contradictory. I don't
know what the deal was, but one of them might be like, really
what I felt from the scene, and the other one was what what ac-
tually happened. Or one might be like, what what I wanted to
happen, and what didn't happen. But I was talking and it was just
weird. I took off the glasses and that stopped. I was like whoa,
how weird. I don’t know how I got those glasses on my face. But
then I just remember feeling like I was losing it all of the sudden,
and I started getting a really upsetting sensation in my body it
was just kind of overpowering. I was like oh no. And so I ran to-
ward the doors, and I was trying to act calm and speak to people
casually, like “hey everyone how are things going,” but I was just
totally collapsing. Then I woke up.
There was something about Jasmine. I remember getting pissed

off and saying something about what pissed me off about that sit-
uation with her.
I remember being in a car for a while. I don’t know where or why.

My dad was present in some scenes. We were just fooling around
the kitchen. I think I climbed or jumped out of something. It
was just like very normal kind of scene but there was a lot of real-
ly quirky things that went on. Like some of the things I said were
just hilarious.
I kept waiting for them to do something. I remember chasing

them around. I remember this one part where we were over in
the corner and it was like this big bar or aisle separating like two
different aisles and I was like, “You go right here, and I’ll go over
here.” And I was playing music in the background. I'm still pissed
off that I’m starting to have panic attacks in my dreams. I’m just
distracted by thad. So I went in the left aisle and it was really
close to wall, really tight. I asked “Are you there?” And she had
already gone out a bit so I called her back to the start and told
her to rave me to the end. 123 go. And so we start racing. And
we're like crawling, and we can't even see each other. There's this
divider between us
My lane was so small and I was pressed up against the wall. It

was really hard to run through without getting snared by a pow-
er cord or something. And there's this little part where I looked
over and I started noticing little things stuck in the little cracks
beneath the wall. And Im like “Oh, my gosh, I found this and
this!” what, what was I finding? I was like, “Oh, my gosh, I just
found every color of crayon imaginable in this one spot!” It was
really funny, because it was very realistic. Sometimes there's little
cracks beneath the wall. And, and just over time, different things
get caught in them. Because either because of sweeping or just
whatever. But it wasn't like, all over the place. But every like five
feet, six feet. I don't know. But yeah there were tons of crayons
lying in the cracks between the carpet and the wall. My reaction
was so funny.
“TRUCK CHASE”
02/15/2014 | 8:23 AM
I got stuck in the road. And also the fact that that truck was the
nice truck that was really considerate when going around, mess-
ing around the road. And also good at parking. So when me and
Asia got out of the car, I said “Okay, make a run for it. This is the
one that was really considerate. And I would be embarrassed if it
comes over the hill and sees us and knows what we did,” and she
says “You’re right. Let’s go.” Then we counted down and took off
running. It was wet on the ground from a recent rainfall. As I re-
turned to the deck I remember panting, worn out. Asia stopped
on the way back to roll up the windows of the car, and I’m think-
ing “no way!” And as she got closer she got mad at me “I can’t
believe you stuck me with rolling up the windows. What’s all this
about a race?”
“Well I realized I left my window down by the time I got here, so

by that time I was like screw it.”
She had just done a really, really bad parking job when the car
went to the street where he got really crooked, right after ac-
commodating how we were in the street. And she kept in that
spot and made it really hard for him to maneuver right after he
went around me and didn't hit me. Even though I was bent in an
extremely unnatural way. My neck and head were like the only
things I could move. Maybe my hips too. And so I was able to
bend forward, but it was really freaky because I was in the middle
of the road and I was frozen in his like little weird sap bowl (?) or
something, I don’t know how to describe it, and I can only lean
forwardly, and this trick was coming down the road. I remember
it coming to me, and I’m thinking “I’m gonna looooooose my
670
body. I’m gonna looooooose my life.” I just had to lean forward

and hope nothing bad happened. I remember thinking it would
just throw my body off. I don’t know.
Then me and her ran inside of the house, ran into the kitchen,
and our parents were like “There you guys are, what in the world
are you guys doing?” And then my mom went right into some
talk about what she’s excited about, a total topic change, but I
don’t remember what she said.
I don't know what Asia and I were doing in the road but it was
the stupidest thing.
There was a lot of dialog in the dream, especially while we were

in the car. It was especially funny when I took off running even
though I forgot to roll the windows up and she had to do it her-
self, because I did make her do that in order to race her. We need-
ed to get into the house so that the guy wouldn’t come by and see
us and see where we lived.
That guy totally made it harder for us after he helped us.

“KEY OF H”
02/15/2014 | 8:19 PM
That part where I was talking about how I just heard about all
the dreams that are coming next. And the eleventh dream is sup-
posed to be like a play of sorts that’s like one of the most elabo-
rate presentations or something.
I was sitting in church at the end. This was after arguing with
Poppop in the parking lot about the key of H. So when intent
in the building, PH was standing on the edge, like a greeter, and
I did some kind of awesome move. I have a warning and I held
out my hands. I crossed them and held them out in a weird way.
I said “In a few seconds, I am going to claw and I'm going to pry
and someone's gonna get hurt because I'm wanting to get to the
other side and there's people standing in my way.“ There was just
this jam of people in the hallway and I needed to break through.
Then I moved over and saw PH sitting on the gate and I started
pushing against the gate, if to simply get his attention, and once
he noticed me he got off the gate. Then I opened the gate. There
was a guy standing on the other side of it with his leg in the path
of the gate, so when I opened it fast, it scraped his leg, kind of
a hick guy, and I apologized “Oooh, I’m real sorry about that.”
He didn’t look at me or say anything but he was looking at his
leg quite concerned. And eventually he moved further down.
And something bad with something else like that. I forget but it
was very similar. The church layout was very weird. There were
beds and black barstools. Then there was those weird places that
were... Pride Chairs? Perhaps for punishment. They were in the
air and they got cranked up. I thought they were awesome, but
672
I’m pretty sure it was reserved for punishment. I wanted to go in

there but I didn’t.
I was sitting there on the pew and I had this book, this spy comic,
next to me, it was opened up, it was weird and on my lap. And
every time I opened it up it started talking really loud and I
freaked out because I couldn’t control the volume, and I had to
keep closing it. And one time closing it didn’t work and it kept
going anyway and it was really loud and annoying. I was borrow-
ing two volumes from my sister. I had already moved on to the
second volume.
The pastor started to talk, but it looked like one of my childhood

pastors from New Jersey. When they came out on the stage they
saw me in the front left, not far from the stage, and I was sitting
near what looked like a giant organ with black barstools by it, he
goes “Ahhh! Kori!”and then he said “Take a seat!” And I was al-
ready sitting so I feared that meant that I was sitting in a place
I shouldn’t have. Everyone in the congregation was listening in
now to our conversation because he was on stage and the sermon
had already begun. He was asking what’s been going on with me
and asked if my head had had a headache or sickness since we
last talked, or something like that. Then he turns toward the con-
gregation and says “THIS guy was raised in Camden County,
and...” ugh I don’t remember, but it was so weird.
That part where I was holding a note. I was whistling. There was
this long part where I was talking to my grandfather at first, my
father, but then later in the dream I was just with my grandfather.
And I was making it my goal to become a better Whistler. And
so I was trying to whistle Rush’s YYZ and it was hilarious, be-
cause I was doing it. And it's pretty hilarious. It was pretty good.
But it was still not very loud. I was doing it for a while. I specif-
ically remember the intro movement and first verse. I was do-
ing it all. Every single note. And then eventually, when I was sit-
ting there still doing it in the car lm the way to church. I was do-
ing other whistles. And I whistled a really really high note and I
heard angels, like a chorus of angels, so heavenly.
I remember walking through this place. And there's this little

boy who made this face at me or something. But something was
weird going on with me. There were all these people, there was
this group of like, cool people or something that passed by. And
something about me was very outcasty. But I remember pick-
ing something off the ground or something. And there was that
group of people they had just passed. And they seemed very rude
when they walked by. And so then there was like a kid that was
following close behind them, you know, by like 10 or 20 feet.
And so when they passed by, I was on the ground. And I look
over at him. And he made the most annoying face and sound
ever, like “NYEEEEEEEHHHHH”. It was just really, really an-
noying. And I remember thinking something really violent to
myself. I think when I looked at him, like ‘should I go rip him
apart’ kind of stuff, hahahaha. But I just kept walking.
When I got up I was really cool looking. I just kept walking.

There were a lot of weird little things going on here. Yeah, there
was something in the car that was about arousal, I was getting
aroused in a really, really weird way.
I felt so weird though, when I opened that gate, and I started

opening, and it swung open. I remember PH was closer to the
gate than I was, so when I opened it open the gate it left a huge
scrape on his leg, and he turned around, and so I walked through
and immediately told the guy that I was the one who did that,
not PH, because I figured he might assume it was PH’s fault, and
I apologized, but he still didn’t say anything.
I kept walking. Further down the strip, it was just this narrow
aisle leading to church on a strip, and this type of thing happened
again with someone else, something similar. Like with a similarly
fat person.
But yeah the pastor was using me as an example. He was using

my birth place as an example for people overcoming something.
I remember there were these foreign girls who might have been
looking at me during a church service. And I think they were sit-
ting not too far to my right. I think they talked to me at the end,
or they were saying something to me. I'm not sure. I'm not even
sure if I understood what they were saying. But they were totally
looking at me.
“PRIZE PEW”
02/16/2014 | 7:48 AM
I was on sitting on a pew. I just sat up and somehow sitting up
actually made me wake up from my dream. So I was on the pew.
It was very, very uncomfortable. And I was surrounded by this
weird, blow-up, inflatable thing that I had was now a lot bigger.
A blow-up microphone? I don’t know. And every time I would
move my legs or feet, it would run and make a really annoying
bzzt noise. I was in this huge auditorium kind of place. In the
earlier dream I was outside, though. I was in an auditorium now
and I was spread out on the seat, lying with my back against the
seat and my knees up. My head was down against the thing. It
was a bench seat in the very, very back of the room, kinda like
the benches at church. And the black guy that had been with
me a few minutes earlier went inside and left that room because
some girl came over and called him. I think he was coming back.
I think he was just handling something. But I was looking... I
could see across the way, I could see several people. I remember
pulling the hair on the back of my head because of how I was ly-
ing on the seats. It’s hard to describe what I was doing.
I kept sitting in different positions trying not to make the thing

in front of me squeak because it looked like it was getting bigger
and bigger. And sometimes I was sitting with my knees up and
my feet on the bench and with my arms around my knees, which
were drawn to my chest. Sometimes I was able to do otherwise I
don't know how. But sometimes I just laid with my head against
it. And if I didn't move, then no sound came out. But I was sit-
ting there thinking at the time “This is only the third real time
I’ve been out in six years and I can't believe this is happening
676
What happened was this guy to my left made some really idiotic
comment. He just spoke up about what I was... about the sounds
I was making or about what I was doing with my thing during
the service. I forget what happened. It wasn't a bad thing in itself.
But the way he said it was very instigative, or like he was trying
to look cool. And at the time I was just sitting on the bench with
this black guy and there was this other bench that was connect-
ed but it was connected to the other wall, so kind of a corner
piece. He just started saying something to me. It was something
that was very assumption about which was. And I stood from
my chair and I said “Listen, there’s no problem unless you de-
cide to CAUSE one. Please do not cause a PROBLEM.” And I
sat back down on the chair. And I just kept to myself after that,
but the whole place was echoic. And I heard... it's not like I did
it loud, so it's not like it was echoing dramatically and unrealisti-
cally throughout the place. But it definitely carried, and we were
definitely at a place where everyone could hear. I also remember
lying on the bench thinking, “What if a blonde guy got up and
did what I did? What if I saw someone else doing what I'm do-
ing right now lying here? What would I think of them?” And so
I kept shifting my position accordingly, because I didn’t want it
to seem that I was frantic.
When the girl came over I remember thinking it to myself “Ah!

Someone’s coming to talk to me!” But she was here for the guy at
my side, in need of his help.
I remember there was this girl on the right side of the room,
too. I was watching her while she was talking to this guy that
was sitting around the canopy or something. And who might
have been one of the main people involved in this place. I forget,
but she wasn't like that attractive. She looked like, agreeable. Not
wowingly pretty. But she had college girl look. Long black hair,
though not too long. And I remember seeing her walk to on the
right. And she was talking to this guy. And she was just standing
there. I remember hearing her say like... she had a phone with her
and she was trying to get his attention, interrupting to explain
why she had to go “I have to go and take care of something. Sor-
ry! Have a good time.” And I just remember wondering what the
guy she was talking to was thinking about that. And she wasn't
talking loud at all. It was pretty quiet. It was just easy to overhear
people in this place. Then she walked off, but when she got to
the end of like this large hall or gymnasium, I wondered what it
would be like if I decided to jump up in laughter and tell her I’m
coming with her. I didn't. But I wondered what it'd be like, and
I remember imagining in my head just driving down the street
around in this area with trees, having Just having jumped in the
car with her.
But yeah, for after that whole “There's no problem. Please don't
cause one.” I felt really stupid because I remember the way I said
it. I didn't like the way I said it. Because I wish I would have
worded the last sentence better. I worded it exactly like I said
just now. I just wish it would have been cooler. Because it didn’t
sound cool, like “don’t bother me”. It sounded like “Please, I can’t
handle it.” I remember thinking that and I was just really pissed
off. I sounded a little bit too frantic and anxious. And his face
was just really annoying. It was really annoying me.
I had two blow up things. One of them was a microphone. There

was other one.
I remember some vaguely intimate scene with a girl.
So anyway, after this whole thing happened, I remember sitting

back in my chair and it was a bit quiet, and I remember the guy
turning to the guy next to him and saying “You agree with me!
Right, Kenny?” And then I look over and I see Kenny sitting
next to the guy who insulted me, and Kenny is like “Of course,
man.” And that just really hurt me all the more. I was just like
“Kenny’s here? And he’s agreeing with him?” I think that was
one of the things that really worsened the way I felt about what
just happened.
But this black guy was pretty cool. We were making jokes a lot.
And he was sitting to my left. I don't remember what we were
talking about, but we were chatting through most of this thing.
There were just random people speaking, it was just like a giant,
giant place. It was like a dark gymnasium hall... less like a party
and more like a meeting. Felt like a graduation ceremony, and it
was dark. I remember another kid there was this other kid that
was pretty funny. When the black guy left I didn’t have anyone
else to talk to, so when I remember when I was lying on my back,
I was prepared that he could walk back at any moment, in which
case I'd have to sit up because now my head was on the seat. But
I felt really, really, really embarrassed. Not just because of how I
reacted but because that guy put me in that position, where he
critiqued something I was doing that wasn't even wrong. And by
critiquing something that I was doing, he made it look like I was
doing it on purpose. And I wasn't anything, it wasn’t anything
that could be helped. I had these two things that were like prizes
or something I won from something and I had them with me.
And there was other people in the auditorium who had prizes as
well. One of them was at my feet, and it was huge, and I had to
keep my feet up from rubbing against it. And then I had one in
my arms. The microphone. And he was saying something about
me rubbing against them, and after he said it the first time, I was
like “It’s not big deal, it’s not like I’m trying to do it.” And he
came back with a mocking “Blah blah bleh blew blah!” noise and
I was so pissed off. He was an obnoxious jock type.
I really wish I could remember what was going on in that one

scene where I remember being like, intimate or something. Not
like maximum intimacy. But I was like with a girl. And I remem-
ber lying there with her, or on top of her. And she was asking me
if she... if I would like her to do something. But it was a weird.
Like, did she not have a head or something weird like that? I
don't know. Something about her was gone or... very wrong. And
it didn’t feel like she was incomplete or ugly or anything because
she wasn't. But there was something strange about her. And she
asked me if I prefer one thing over the other. I don't know what
it was.
And there was definitely some scenes taking place in a different

part before that gymnasium place. Like when we were walking
the halls. I remember walking the halls and talking to a few peo-
ple. I think I was talking to a couple of girls.
Oh, yeah. I remember Jeff. What was that all about? Yeah, we
were sitting in his room. Oh, man, that's when the KKK thing...
was that in the same gymnasium place? I don't know. Maybe that
gymnasium grew from what was initially a smaller room. Be-
cause at first I was sitting in kind of a small room with these guys
and we were talking and there were some guys behind us that
were in another room. And since I was on the edge right near
the door I could turn around and peek through the doorway,
and I saw like five or six other guys who just got picked up. One
of them was Jeff and the others just looked like random British
men. They were all kind of sitting around this little lobby, foyer
kind of thing, I kept peeking my head around and saying some-
thing. I was like relaying messages that I was hearing from Jeff,
who was sitting closest to where I was, as he was at the head of
the table. And we were just making comments. And I remem-

ber him saying... we were trying to find commonalities between
the guys in this room and the guy in that room, because we were
all supposed to be a group, but we were separated because they
came late and they couldn't fit in it, or something like that. He
had just arrived with them, a bunch of blonde guys. I remember
saying “What’s with all the blonde guys?” And Jeff made a com-
ment about how several of the guys names begin with K. He was
like, “That’s weird.” And I think he added Kori there too. And at
this time we were trying to think of what to call our team, so we
were looking for similarities or something from which to derive
a team name. And I peeked around, and my mouth opened up,
and I was just about to say “That’s weird, KKK!” Or something
like that, and then I was like, oh my gosh, and I caught myself
and I stopped. I was totally about to say it, ignorantly so. And so
then I turned to the guy next to me and I whispered “Oh man,
I almost blurted out KKK without thinking about it.” And this
was the black guy who I had been sitting with. He may not have
been black. Maybe he was dark Hispanic. Anyway, we were all
having fun being silly. It all got ruined when that one guy from
across the aisle made that comment about my prize. And then
I stood up and said what I did in a very hyper manner. I just
looked really I looked like I was unable to handle conflict. And
it was embarrassing, because it wasn't very cool how I did it. And
the fact that it went on a little bit even more Kenny stuff after
that. It's just very, very bothersome to me. And even though I was
bothered by the way I was reacting it was just really, really frus-
trating.
“GIRL WATCH”*
02/16/2014
That girl was talking about her sister. “I wonder how she’s doing,
being that she just went into that room all by herself. And she de-
cides to go in, but she has no choice but to rear this by herself.”
And Asia was sitting here, too. And so something about this was
due to the fact that this girl had been not allowed into this room.
There was this room with this girl who had a particularly strange
shape hold in her chest, who was now going to be like made or
reared or connected with another woman who was some kind of
weird species breeder... I don't know what she was, but she was
gonna like hook her up in some weird way to herself. And it was
really creepy, because. I don’t know, it was creepy. And all I know
is that the young girl, her sister, had been writing her for a while,
not wanting her to do it, but now something weird happened
and she conceded and no one knew why she conceded. So then
her sister was telling this other girl in private, “That’s okay, be-
cause I guess you can't really say no.“ She was talking about how
it’s a big responsibility and this thing stores something inside of
you for a certain amount of months and you have to baby it. And
it was weird.
So I was at a concert, and Asia got up and just got up and just
start playing, too. So I thought that was bizarre. I remember sit-
ting over there by the bar of the Londonberry house, by the back
right near the sliding door. Not far from the computer desk. I
wasn’t really watching what was going on and only attended to
show my support, even though I didn’t understand. She start-
ed off just trying to be strange, unusual, and that was totally
unlike her, so I was confused. And she made a comment about
682
me or someone, I forget what, and I just remember wondering

what some of my friends thought. And then somehow she start-
ed singing with a voice that was almost similar to my voice, and
I’m like “What?!?! That’s not bad sounding!” It was not my voice
exactly. More like her take on it. And she was doing these little
noises that were like her take on my kind of style, and she did a
song that I thought was pretty cool. More like an interlude, actu-
ally, but it was bizarre to watch.
This has nothing to do with all of that stuff about the other per-
son hiding from the breeders, which was earlier in the dream and
totally unrelated.
“GHOST SHOPPING LIST”
02/16/2014
Me and Asia won this contest or something? Or Asia did. She

took me driving to this place in the mall. I don't know what hap-
pened. Well, the dream ended with this security guard calling
the property as going “It’s 11:30 at night. What the hell? Why
are there people here?” And the guy on the other end goes “ I
thought I saw a car out there. Is anyone on this property an ac-
tual psychologist?” He did say ‘psychologist’ but I have no idea
why he was talking about psychology. And he was flipping out
because no one is building was properly registered under some-
thing something. We weren't actually authorized to be here. Even
the people conducting the demonstration.
I don't know what the hell happened, but me and Asia were were
appearing on this thing where we were helping out with... how
the hell did this happen. So there's this girl and this guy, who
were probably in their twenties, and they were TV personalities
or something? I have no idea. But Asia was given a chance to
help out because of something that she did. And so it was like
a special one time shot thing. It wasn't actually like TV. I don't
know, but the next thing I know... I’m sitting on the couch, and
slowly over the course the night... I mean I wasn’t totally drawn
in toward the girl. She seemed a lot older than me because I
seemed a lot younger my dream. She seemed like she was prob-
ably close to 30 but as the dream went on she was just being sil-
ly and sitting next to me and stuff. And she just came and put
her mark around my shoulder when she talked. I do not remem-
ber how it happened but she like came in and squeezed in on
684
the couch when I was sitting there. And so we're like all cramped
there. And I don't know, I still don't know what happened be-
cause it was just a very, very weird dream where one thing led
to another into another into another. And then all of a sudden,
you know, I had my hands around her because she put her hand
around me for a picture. But then it stayed around there. And
next thing I know she's on my lap. And that was like something
weird even to us at the time. Even she was like “Whaaaat are you
doing?” Because it was very a weird moment, because everything
was just happening kind of strange like that. We ended up laugh-
ing it all off. But none of us really knew what we were doing.
Everything we were doing was like kind of a joke. And she just
wasn't saying anything. But we were just like contestants, we were
just like people who were showing up to this place.
And then these two people were like popular personalities. I

don’t remember much about the guy, though. Felt like we were
in a mall. I remember I was barefoot and I was so self conscious,
because I know how dirty my feet are right now, with my nails
and everything. And so I kept curling my toes when I was around
her, and as the night went on, I started getting more and more
self conscious. She was just totally focusing more on me than
Asia even though Asia won. She was asking these questions. And
what was she talking about the end... “Danny the... something,”
a movie made as part of a collaboration between the guys from
The Mars Volta and Wayne from Wayne’s World, and in the
movie the kid was walking through a swamp and there were bees
coming out of his hand. And he was in like a purple psychedel-
ic swamp. But it was also a cave. was also kind of like in a cave.
And he pulled down his glasses, and something came out of his
eye sockets. I don't know what that was, but it was awesome.
Anyway, the part I remember most is when we had to leave.

When we stood up, I realized how short she was. Probably only
about five feet tall. She came up and she she's talking to me and
just gave me like a quick hug, like a “this is the kind of hug I give
everyone.” And then as she was hugging me, her grip was just get-
ting tighter and tighter. She was making saying so many weird
things. And I remember at one point, when she was saying all
these weird things, that I almost turned to her and I said “I al-
most feel like ghosts shopping lists are about to start floating up
in the air and start attacking me.” I don't know what I was talking
about. But I never said it to her. Like, she's not gonna think that
makes any sense. It didn't make any sense. But it was something
like that that I was gonna say. But she was just saying these one
or two lines over and over again. So often. It was almost like an
incantation. It was really funny though. It was like a little catch-
phrase kind of thing. And she kept ending her sentences with it.
And it was really silly and she was doing it over and over again
while we're getting ready to leave. It was really weird.
What was the whole thing about in the first place? I remember
there was some screen time... some dancing going on. I remem-
ber some dancer being there and Asia wanted to do the dancing
instead. There was some green screen super imposition thing.
And she really wanted to do it. And there was some kind of
singing thing. There was something about singing. And I remem-
ber thinking something about throat cancer. I remember think-
ing that people are going to tell me that's what I sound like, and
if they tell me that's what I sound like, I'm going to tell them
“That’s what I was trying for.” Something weird like that.
Anyway, the most notable part is when she started kissing me, we
were hugging and she was just kind of doing it quick at first, like
a quick peck on the lips, and then she pulled back, but then she
looked at me and she came back and did it again. At first I wasn't
really wanting it. And then all of a sudden, I felt her tongue
and we just started kissing. And it got really serious. And there
was totally something weird between us and we wouldn't admit
it just because of the circumstances of this night, but there was
something weird. I remember when I first had my hands around
her waist when she was sitting there, I just remember her mak-
ing comments about how what I was doing was unacceptable but
she wasn’t even trying to move. So we would just sit there making
weird jokes the whole time in these weird unacceptable ways just
because we're not supposed to be doing this because this was sup-
posed to be professional place. We were simply using these jokes
to mask the fact that we were into it.
I do not know what happened at the end though, because that se-
curity guy commenting about how he saw our cars and that we
didn’t have the authority to be here—none of us.
There was this old guy who was pretty funny. He showed up sev-
eral times while we're there too. It was like a Mr. Bean-y kind of
guy, not in appearance but in attitude. He was just very cool for
an older guy. And he was there and he was trying to talk with this
security guy. There was also a black woman with him. They were
trying to talk to security guy.
“AQUATIC STUDIO
DIMENSION”*
02/16/2014
I remember at one point where we were kissing against the wall
I was thinking "Wait... I'm Tendon Levey... Don't I have a reason
for not doing something like this...?" It all happened so extremely
fast. And I remember at one point when we were hugging I had
lifted her off the floor. Then at the end I think they were doing
something with photo shoots and that’s when she was talking to
me about that one movie...
Asia in the beginning talking about how she needed to go to

this aquatic alternate dimension and it was a place I used to go
when I was younger but I hadn't been there in a while since I had
been sick. She told me I should come with her. We got in this
strange little craft. And got sucked through this weird tube and
were traveling by suction through this strange aquatic region that
was like otherworldly. And I was very apprehensive because of
how long it had been since I had been here. And I kept my eyes
squinted or closed and kept going "uhuhhhhhhhhhhh..." moan-
ing in a semi-humorous way but because I realized I wasn’t famil-
iar with this anymore and didn’t like it very much. Then we ar-
rived at a port... And I walked out and had to walk up on a step
and I could see through the floor above us where people were...
And I walked over to the hatch and I saw this strange overweight
fish human girl creature and they looked at me through the hatch
and waved, and I opened the door and they greeted me and re-
membered who I was, and I told them "I can't believe you re-
member me! It's been so long!" and we were talking... And that
mr beany guy I mentioned on my video camera recording was
688
walking by putting a plate of snacks on a table at the right side of

the room near the door... This was the studio Asia was supposed
to be going to after having won some contest or something... It
felt like a weather studio. Asia went to the studio and I wandered
off and interacted with others... met that girl...
Dirt on my toes and on my fingernails and I was self-conscious.

“BERLIN BERLIN”
02/17/2014
This guy and his wife, and maybe a couple girls, who were prob-
ably not much older than me but I perceived as being older. He
was moving to Berlin. So I showed up, I went sliding through the
halls of what looks like a Toys R’ Us entryway. I remember there
were windows on the side, and one window every six or so feet,
so anyone on the outside; where my family was at, would have
seen me walk past in there all normal, since I walked past the first
window, but then I slid past the second window so it must have
looked very funny.
So then I walked in and my parents are by the cash register area

and are like was like “Geez where where’ve you been?” I said “I
just stayed back in New Jersey for a while to talk with this guy
who’s moving soon.”
“He’s moving?”
“Yeah, to BERLIN Berlin.”
“To Berlin?”
“BERLIN Berlin.”
And then I went and looked at a little display case that was on
top of some beverage machine, on which I saw three little ma-
roon colored cases or something. I don't know. But eventually I
just walked off.
690
There was also that weird scene at the end where she asked me
something. What was it? I was heading to go get the things she
left in front of the door. The box. But what did that woman ask?
Also, when I was walking in front of the door, I'm thinking

“That’s weird, she’s probably not that much older than me. And
so maybe she’s thinking, dammit, that guy's cool and he's my age
and why couldn't he have been around more often?” I was think-
ing this at the time. But yeah, she asked something, and I turned
around while I was at the door, I answered, I forgot what the
question was, but after I gave my response I asked “Does that an-
swer it?”
And then I heard another response so I peeked back and I saw

two black girls been some feedback myself to black people. And
then I heard one of the other people say “She's next to them,” be-
cause they saw that I was with the two girls, so then I just walked
in the house. But then I walked down this trip, and went to try
to look at her again to see if she heard me, but I only saw the two
black girls. And so she was behind a pole this time. So she kept
being obscure and I wasn't gonna go over and say something, I
just went back inside. I started walking in and I looked out to see
when she grabbed the box. But then I realized it would be easier
for me to come in and then go out the exit door. Grab them and
then do that. What it was was a box of multimedia that this guy
says I could go through and pick and choose whatever I want to
keep. I was like “Awesome! Thank you!“
We played word association. He was like, “Add a third word

to each of these categories!” And I was getting so stupid. I was
cracking up. At one point I was simply rhyming. One of them
was sign language, and one was spyglass. He said “Sad, sigh” and
then I would say “Mad, sign language!” It was pretty funny, be-
cause it was so dumb. I was really bad. He was just firing them at
me rapidly so I wasn’t given any chance to think. getting
Then when I returned to the place at night I realized it was time

for my dose and it was a couple hours late. “Aww shit. I've been
gone for a while.” So I went whizzing by, and that was the very
end. But yeah, we were out in the parking lot, just doing little
things. He was moving to Berlin. And I was trying to be nice, be-
cause even a couple of times when he started walking away, I'd
ask him another question just because he seemed like a fun guy
to be talking to. Probably in his late 40s or something. And I was
like, “Where are you moving to? Are you moving to New Jer-
sey?”
“No, I’m moving to Berlin.”
“Berlin? Like BERLIN Berlin? Across the ocean Berlin?
“That’s right!”
And and so I just kept asking him questions.
“Have you been there before? What’s the coolest place you’ve
ever been to?“
And then he started listing of all these specific buildings that

he ad worked at in the 60s or something. He was talking about
some Chrysler building that was made out of tin. I was having a
hard time following it. And I could see the images in my mind
and they were like little weird UFO hangers.
Okay, but what happened, because I went on a walk and I did

something and then I returned from my walk and when I re-
turned him and his wife were standing on my doorstep with a
box, just putting it there and then getting ready to leave. That
was like the end of my dream. So what else happened...
Yeah, it was near Nanny and Poppop’s house. I had to walk down
their street to get there, their home in New Jersey. So I had to
walk by Pat’s house where all those dogs were. Wait, there was a
dog. Was Whoopi there? Possibly.
Oh, I was running from a dog on the way back. That's right. I was
walking down the street. That's right. And I had two water guns
in my hand. And I went down the street with a sign or some-
thing... some kind of sign paper in my left hand and I put it in
my left pocket. There was gonna be a huge storm too. I was walk-
ing down the street and all the way to the end and then I went
to the edge of the highway. Then, once there, I turn to the right,
but don’t go down the next street, and then I’m on the main road
hanging out. And I was trying to draw something.
Yeah, so I was doing something. It started raining, or some

creepy storm came. But on the way back, there was this dog who
was following me. And right when I went to turn the corner
to get back on the street, it followed me over. And I really did
not like it. And I forget, but it was kind of dangerous in some
way. I had two water guns, and something in my left pocket I
forget. I pulled out my water guns. And they were weird water
guns because they were like, spray bottles kind of. Maybe it was
spray bottles, maybe they weren't water guns, they might have
been spray bottles, because you could twist the nozzle and spray,
changing the velocity, the shape of the spray stream. I was able
to change that. But it kind of also changed automatically. So it
was kind of annoyed me. And I don't think the water was cold. I
think it was kind of warm. It was like storm water. I don't know.
And so I started shooting at this dog. And it would go back like
a few feet usually. And I'm like, “Okay, I just need to keep doing
this till it goes all the way back.” But then it turned back around
at me while I was still spraying and I'm like oh no. And I tried to
do get a little, you know, diversion, and just go a little bit around
and then it came back at me. And so I started spraying it with
both at the same time. And then I walked across the road while
spraying it, hoping it would l get hit by a car. Well, I don't think I
was hoping it would get hit by a car. But I wondered what would
happen if that happened. Like I wasn't too opposed to it, or I just
hoped the traffic would stop it. It continued to follow me around
as I walked back across the street, while I was spraying it like
crazy. I forget how I lost it. But I had made it. I had diverted its
attention and I remember running a little ways ahead or walking
really fast and it didn’t follow close behind. So it was like kind
of lagging behind and stopped. I don't know what happened. I
know there's another person walking too. I forget. There was no
communication between us. But I remember thinking “What
are they thinking about this?” Because it was definitely weird the
way I was walking around with these two bottles spraying this
dog and it's freaking out and trying to get at me. It was a little
dog, too, not big at all. Anyway, then I kind of walked down the
road and made it back to my building where, when I got up to
the front door, it was nighttime and the storm was coming soon.
I remember looking at their house on my the back, and they lived
on the left side of the road, not far from where Pat lived. And
so I remember seeing some people out front moving, and I was
like ‘oh, they're moving? they looked like they would have been
cool people’. I didn’t know them, but they seemed cool for older
people. I feel like I had some kind of weird step counter on me
or something. I feel like there was something measuring what my
progress was. But anyway yeah, I looked at them and they were
loading boxes and I'm not sure, and there was a van parked out
front. I thanked I even wanted to talk to them but I decided not

to and just kept going. But then him and his wife showed up on
my doorstep. Probably in their forties. But they didn’t look old
at all. A young looking couple, kinda like my parents.
He and his wife showed up and were just gonna make a quick
comment about the box. “Hey, you can have these if you want.
We saw you walking by. And we're trying to limit what we bring
on our move, so you can have this.” So I thanked them and then
they started to look like they're about to walk away. Then I asked
them another question. And I remember thinking that it would
be easier for me to just like them walk away, but I was kind of cu-
rious. And not only that, but I want to take advantage of these
social opportunities when they arise. So me and the man began
talking, and when his wife realized that we were engaged in a
conversation, she pardoned herself from the conversation and re-
turned later on, because they didn't intend to be gone for long.
So she left me and him alone toget her for a little bit to talk.
I keep picturing aliens and UFO’s. I'm picturing myself running

across the parking lot in front of a really tall building. That might
have just been I'm also picturing like, the parking lot by Target
and Best Buy. I don’t know.
Anyway, we talked for a little bit. We played a couple games. I

forget what the first game was. And right after I started getting
used to the first game, we switched the word association. He
seemed a little foreign, like a rocker in the 80s or something. He
had a “Sting” kind of feel to him. Then I woke up after standing
there by the beverage machines talking to my parents, then start-
ed walking around the loop from the entrance to the exit so as to
get to the exit door where I first was standing when he dropped
the box off so to go pick up that box and bring it inside. Kind
of a roundabout way of getting it but I somehow thought it was
easier.
“KEEP IT TOGETHER”
02/17/2014
I remember doing something to the wall. I was trying to keep
something alive. I was trying to keep something together. I had
some research that I was doing. I made a comment in the final
two minutes of my dream, although I don’t remember what I
said. Some guy on the television was talking m about his ap-
proach to art. About mixing the past and future. There was an
annoying woman, and someone who thought they were my
friend but weren’t really.
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“DELUSIONS”
02/17/2014
I was walking around asking everyone about what they thought
about this one person‘s delusions, and delusions. I was trying to
see if they even knew what they were doing. What happened is
they were carrying around something of mine, and then as soon
as someone asked them to put it down they put it down, but then
there were other things that they carried around, and they car-
ried them around while they were sick, and when people asked
them to put them down... they did something with their legs. I
don't know. There was something that delusions did to your legs.
There was something about a piano that had to do with delusion,

too. I kept seeing their delusion sitting on the piano, or they were
using it while they were playing the piano. I don't know. It was so
confusing. At the time it made sense but not so much now.
698
“WET PAPER”
02/18/2014
The dream ended with this guy looking through his green bag.
While he was looking into the green bag I was painting on the
screen, trying to make the bag even greener. I don’t know what
I was doing because I was actually a part of the scene, I was an
observer. I was painting on the cmaera, or I was painting on the
dream itself. They said “There’s not much to know. This one's
something something. This guy had just gotten to pick up the
artwork from his companies. He’s going to pick up the artwork
of the people that work for this company, that would be used for
something specific.“ He thought it was all boring. And then some
guy asks “Hey! What about this guy’s stuff ?” And then he start-
ed shaking a little bit and he pulled out a wet piece of paper and
the dream ended.
There was some place in Germany, next to another place that was
called something like Chappie, and there was a meeting place...
where one of the members, like me, would live. A group of us.
And I was doing these weird things with text that I don’t think I
was supposed to be doing. I had developed a new art style and I
was doing this thing where I copying everything and like sending
it back somewhere else... it's kind of like the technique that was
used on the Tip of a Tiny Bell cover. Because I would draw like
a quick cartoon sketch of the house, and then grab one part of
the image and start repeating it on the background, it was cool
and the people I was with liked it. I was doing it while the people
were away in the bathroom and then they came out and... I don’t
remember what that was all about.
699
They had to inform someone that someone was in the hospital

and wouldn’t be coming. That really bothered them. It was A girl
in the hospital, and they had been anticipating her being present
at this meeting.
There was something weird going on in my Londonberry back-

yard. Something about flying, although I might have been climb-
ing. There was also something about a dog. I think I transported
or teleported a dog to the wrong place. I think there was a the-
ater, too.
• I figured they knew about the kid, Mira. The kid... what the hell
am I talking about. That recording before it was put out, it was so...
god, I must be hallucinating. So I didn't feel like I could say any-
thing to them, so I didn’t feel like I was gonna be in trouble with
them for finding out that I was putting it out, so I wasn't trying to be
sneaky with them. It was already there. (Is this right? This doesn’t
make sense)
• Some guy with gross white hair is running around, calling some-
one “OH, HEY!” And he has his knee resting on some little em-
bankment. And he’s kind of grabbing the cigar with his teeth.
I remember making some weird dark and violent and jokes to

someone.
I remember thinking of something while I putting up that infor-

mation of that place in Germany where someone was living or
hiding. I was gonna say that they were from the next town over
as a way to appease people. But then I was like, ‘This is gonna be
extra confusing when people are coming to look at the four peo-
ple involved. And they see that they live right in this spot in Vir-
ginia, and then random ones living in Germany.”
Something to do with bugs. There was some weird hybridizing

of bugs. I remember there being bowls full of something.
• They took the profit of this one guy and split it up between these
two because he was not there to claim it. They just sat in a building
where we sat, and... this might be a hypnagogic hallucination. They
let me have it because of some kind of procedure that was... I don’t
know. All of us sitting around in a backroom, doing something
about the other teams...
[Unintelligible]
• There’s the ghost people and then there’s the goose people. Gotta
keep the goose people from coming also. Somethings biting me...
I think someone was trying to teach me to smack it every time it

bites me.
“MY FIBERS CHANGED”
02/18/2014
At first I wanted to get away, but after I first witnessed whatever
I did for the first time, all I wanted to do is get familiar with it.
So I kept requesting... I kept telling people “How do we get these
two familiar? How do we make combine them into one? How
do we get this used to this other one?” And something about my
fibers changed.
There was also some event with me saving someone in a parking

lot by just using my mind. Hahaha, it’s very confusing.
702
“BLOODY DOG NOSE”
02/18/2014
There was that whole thing with me accidentally grabbing the
dog when she came flying. She was freaking out outside. I re-
member that. And she came in. I started yelling, and I just re-
member my voice sounded really strange. It would just get
stranger the more angry I got, and my dad would even acciden-
tally imitate it while we talked, and I’m thinking “What the hell
is that?” Because it just didn’t make sense that he would do that.
Then the dog came running in and she was all hyper like an idiot
and I tried to grab her and there was blood everywhere, from her
nose. It was an accident. I felt bad. My dad noticed the blood on
the floor and called the dog back to apologize and give her free
food because he worked at the bakery...?
• The one tarot card pull was working well. So I pulled a tarot card
or something else and it got less and less realistic from a dream kind
of thing, but it was more... something.
703
“UNDERSTAND UNFAIRNESS”
02/19/2014
Said something cool like "If you continue doing what you're do-
ing and for no reason I'll make you break and bleed. If you would
like to explain why you're doing what you’re doing and in an
agreeable manner I am more than willing to listen and under-
stand your perspective.” Then there was that part later when I
was trying to sleep while Jeiezza was on the computer. Ah, and
then I was falling asleep in bed, and I could hear her talking
about something and it was keeping me awake. Something that
sounded to me like math problems; and at one point I was in the
kitchen looking for more stuff with which to make my strange
rice cereal + orange drink + something else and some people
came through and were leaving and I remember thinking about
that. The whole thing where people were gathering down the
hill. Like a large youth event with several dozen people. I ran out-
side, kicked off my sandals on the deck, and ran down to the bot-
tom of the yard/hill to go see what they were doing. They were
about to play a game, but after a few minutes of listening to what
they were doing I heard a kid that was near me go up to Mike
saying "But I don't have any footwear on,” and Mike made him go
get his footwear, so I thought “Dammit, I just got rid of mine,” so
I went walking back with the other kid, and I think I made a few
comments to him, and I remember going over to the left where
there was a gravel road and running along said road, but dozens
of others were now running there too trying to get to where the
game would start, and the guy on my left and the girl on my right
were being absolute assholes.
704
I don’t know how I ended up at her house later but I think I

broke in at nighttime and at first it freaked her out when she saw
me standing there but then I was like "Nah, it’s alright, I just want
to understand why you guys were behaving unfairly to me ear-
lier." and we ended up just laughing and talking about different
things... Like how when she was reviewing the contents of her
phone while standing in the center of the room the dog was do-
ing that hilarious thing behind her, and I told her what it just did
and she was laughing saying that she must have missed it.
I don't remember how the whole making drink/rice cereal came

about. At first I was mixing two things together in the area where
the step is in my old Pine Hill address, and I was just putting
things together. And people kept making comments. I didn’t
feel welcome among them. And there was a window over to my
immediate right where some guys were sitting looking Into the
room and they were talking to me about what I was doing. Even-
tually it seemed like I was in some sort of kitchen instead, possi-
bly the kitchen of here (Charldon). I was low on ingredients and
they were all waiting to try what I was making... And then I told
them that the secret ingredient I would be adding was rice cereal
flakes. But then I realized there was hardly any left of that, and
when my father walked by needing to go to the bathroom I told
him I was almost out of everything.
“THE PARTY”
02/21/2014 | 6:51 AM
There was some kind of party. What was it though? There was
someone attractive but there was something totally wrong with
them... Like they knew that they were a jerk, or being protected
by some other corporation... But it is possible there was someone
following us around everyone. Definitely something to do with
the mall in this dream. Big part. Yeah this was my first job, actu-
ally. I remember there was something like "The work the work"
written wrong, like it said "work" twice. I don’t know. Okay I re-
member that one room where I was walking, standing... It was
like a classroom but in the middle of the mall, and they weren’t
paying much attention to me, but there was something about
me... What was it? I remember the van... And that girl walked
over to another guy and they were all paying attention to some-
thing else. But there was another scene that looked like Patrick’s
basement. And there was water there. Lots of water. And there
was something with monsters. Oh my gosh. That was the creepi-
est ever. That’s right. Sea monsters. There were these GIANT sea
monsters in the ocean. And I actually got raised up on a tow-
er of them because I went out in the water for a minute and it
was pitch black out, and about ten of them appeared, formed a
tower, and I got raised up... They were trying to get me, but they
began accidentally biting each other, and that’s how I kept get-
ting higher. Then I appeared on the beach somehow. I looked
over to the left and I went running over to some area. The area
where I needed to be, and I saw several different types of shad-
ows. Three of one kind, looked like hooded people. Then there
were like two other ones in the front... Like I said there were like
3 different types. It was like there were three different enemies
706
and a couple of each kind. Different classes. And it was really

creepy. These things should not have stayed behind here. Because
everyone else was supposed to be at some sort of event. And
these things stayed. I forget but I had to fight them off some-
how. I don’t think that’s what I did though. I don’t know what I
did.I remember some kind of scene where they approached, but
it was with someone else, but I don’t know who. I can’t believe I
lasted through that sea monster scene, because that’s one of the
creepiest things I can imagine... It was chaotic... And it almost
happened so fast. They were all huge, and strange colored, kind
of psychedelic colors... And they were all biting each other and
forming a tower. It was very very freaky.
I don’t... Remember what this situation was. But I just remember

that there was... It was like some kind of terminal. Well, I don’t
know. Almost like a rest stop. Not really. Like a subway station.
I don’t know. There were little restaurants here and there... But it
was... It was very Neo... It was very... Maybe somewhat japanese...
Futuristic. And I do remember playing Hirasawa really loud...
Not at this part I don’t think though. For some reason I feel like
I was actually with him, but I don’t think that that was the case.
But yeah when I was standing around waiting there was a large
crowd of people and on the TV up top they were showing an
image of this guy's forehead, and on the very top of the fore-
head there was a little hole... Looked like a little wound where
something had entered into his skin... And someone was talk-
ing about... An ant? "You know how he died? It's really freaky,
because he essentially did it himself. By being afraid... By his
thoughts. His thoughts did this to him." and I was going "Don't
tell me. Don't tell me. Don't tell me."
Okay, I do remember part of that thing that looked like Patrick’s

basement. Not too far from the seamonster beach part I think.
But I was in this room. Like a class. I do remember some prob-

lems with a woman teacher. Don’t know what that was about.
But there was ... I remember I got put in the wrong part of the
classroom, and I was at the table. And it was a place where no
one understood my language or dialect... And I had a significant
disadvantage being in the wrong area. I wish I could remember
what happened between the teacher and I ... I ended up staying
later... And I remember talking to her.
“ARROW”
02/22/2014 | 9:19 AM
There was OR, and that big purple arrow at the very end that
was saying “goodbye” to me. It didn’t say that, but that’s what it
implied. When I went "He didn’t say anything back?" he was do-
ing his rainbow music stuff... And it was so funny. I was sitting
there in the dark, and I was watching some ——(illegible?) and
—— know that I’m here... and I began mumbling, and I heard
a man's voice go "Yeah, I know!" and then I turn to look at him
and go, "Wait... Who are you?" and he goes "I'm OR!" and I’m
like "OH NO!" and I started laughing, and I started saying stuff
but it was all very stupid stuff to be saying. Stuff anybody could
be saying. It was very weird and embarrassing. There was also all
that map stuff at the end of the dream. And I was trying to find
my way back to where I was by flying... And there was that guy
on the horse with a sword... And that sucked, ‘cause he was going
so fast and I kept almost getting hit over and over again, and the
only way to speed up was by going closer, whatever that means,
and when I got up to the fence something happened I flew off
of the flying animal and went straight, and that was after like go-
ing through all these different crowds of people. I stopped on top
of this building. This is all because I turned around after seeing
his big purple arrow. Because I was flying away and he didn’t say
goodbye or anything, I was flying away, and I kept looking back
to see if something appeared, and thought "Man... That makes
me a little let down" and —— purple arrow appeared, still didn’t
see anything, so I changed my course a little bit, like flew over to
the right, then I saw one, and I went “Aww it’s there!" and it was
big too... So I wanted to go over and hear a message that was left
inside the purple arrow, but I started taking a weird route, and
709
I’m not sure if it was the only way or what, but I got caught on
this building.
Oh there was a forest too. There were all these animals in the for-
est. There were all these crazy rules you were required to walk in
the main place we were at. It was insane. But it was like a jun-
gle. And I went through it... It was insane. I remember talking to
a girl from this band. Not the actual girl in this band in reality.
But someone who was supposed to be in it. Anyway they were
talking to me, and they were talking about how a thing was in-
cluded in the film we were watching, and I didn't know anything
about it, and I was telling her what I liked about something, and
I remember thinking in my mind "Damn I don’t even know the
name of the song I like off of of their album" and she was talk-
ing about what she wished would have been done differently, she
was asking me if I have it... And I said "Ah I have it online" and
she went "Ahh" and looked like she went to go get me a copy, but
I don’t think she could find one and ended up coming back any-
way. Yeah it was weird though... That guy... He did something re-
ally funny to me at one point. And there was all the stuff about
sitting around at a dinner table. (FILL THESE HOLES)*
He did some weird physical prank and it made me really shocked

and concerned because it was getting too close to my throat. He
gagged me or put something over my mouth. I forget what he
was doing, but it was really goofy. I didn’t say anything at first,
but later I told him "Actually, I have a lot of breathing problems,
but I'll tell you if it becomes a problem.” We were just fooling
around.
I remember hanging out with his brother, as well. What was that
about, I remember two guys outside. They were standing atop a
high up ledge doing some really funny jerky dance moves, alter-
nating, kind of like the Fresh Prince dance, and they were do-
ing it, so I started doing it too. So we're going back and forth,
but I was standing on the ground. They were on a five-foot step
in front of me. This weird tent that was a little raised in the air.
Kind of difficult to explain. And it was all dark out, too. That was
pretty funny. I’m also remembering some gay guys. Well, I don’t
know if he was gay, and I thought "Oh... I know that guy." He was
lispy and effeminate. I don’t know what he wanted but he totally
seemed to be hitting on me. I forget what movie we were watch-
ing, but I know some girl got stabbed. I totally feel like there was
some intimacy in my dream but it was very, very early on, like
right at the beginning. That’s the thing about my dreams, most
of my romances take place at the very beginning, because that’s
usually what I think about while falling asleep. Yet it’s the end-
ings that I recall with the most ease upon waking.
I kept running between the worlds though, like between that

wooded jungle-zoo area and the other areas. I forget what they
were, but it was amazing. Especially at the end, looking at the
map, it was so simple looking, and I remember someone asked
me "Which x are you from?" and I had a weird answer. The singer
was there too but I don’t know where he was. I saw him once or
twice, but I just didn’t say anything to him. It was just weird that
OR appeared next to me. I turned to say it to them and it was
dark and I could only see their silhouette. I’m trying to figure out
if I legitimately didn’t know if it was him, or if I turned, started
to say it, suspected it was him, and asked knowing it might pos-
sibly be him. I don’t know.
I don’t remember exactly what was going on that roof when I

first flew over there but there was a girl that I used to know wait-
ing for me. Yeah but I felt self-conscious. I felt like OR was get-
ting tired of the way I was acting or something and that’s why
when I said goodbye and he didn’t say anything/acknowledge it,

I was like dammit, I was already flying away at that point pret-
ty far, on my own wings. That’s what's weird about my flying, it
was on wings. I was flying pretty far, and it was pretty cool. I
shouldn’t have tried to come back though,because I just ended
up getting stuck in that place.
“THE WOMB”
02/23/2014 | 8:13 AM
At the end of the dream that guy was touching my leg, and I said
"Sorry, uh, I injured my leg the other day. Can you refrain from
doing that?” And he goes "Sorry about that," while he pulls away
slowly. It was really rather stressful and... rhythmic.
And I said "Aww man, there's whatshisface." I don’t remember

who it was but it was the guy that was with us. Don’t know his
name. He took off for something. ‘Cause it was me, him and this
instructor guy who was driving in this car. At first I was hitch-
ing on to the rails on the outside of the car. And the other guy
I was with had a vehicle he had climbed into the car with. But
the next thing I know the other guy ran off and had to use a
bathroom because he got nauseous from sitting inside a vehicle-
within-another-vehicle, and so the instructor called me into this
vehicle. So we're riding around. And I said "This is cooool" and
he said "You're not even seeing what we're saying yet! You're not
even looking into the womb!" And in like “What do you mean
I’m not looking into the womb?" and he told me "Put these on"
and all the sudden I was looking through extreme tunnel vision
where we were just flying through this straight tunnel, I don’t re-
member, but it was into a wall?... Then eventually I looked over
and saw the guy sitting outside of the bathroom with a part of
his vehicle in his hands (the one that he went with).
So I called him "HEY!" and he went "Heyy" and so he came over.

Took some time to get to us, but by the time he got to us it
was time to get going again, I said “Actually I'm going to go use
the bathroom real quick" and then I got lost. Not lost, because I
knew they were there the whole time, but I just couldn’t find the
713
actual bathroom because it was all really run down. Really inter-
esting place. 1950's surf-village look to it. All these blue wooden
doors that were just strange. And I took a peek down the street.
Not a walk, but just a quick look around to see what's there, and
it was just a bunch of gas stations and I couldn’t find any bath-
rooms so I said screw it and decided to go back to the guys.
That was a weird scene. It was like a weird ghost town. What
was the deal with that girl who came up to me... The girl I was
talking to who looked like princess Jasmine, and I heard that she
was always getting splinters stuck in her, and once she even had
to get a body part removed, like a toe, which my mother told
me. But then I realized that there were two experiences she had
in her life that were really negative. But she didn’t actually have
anything removed, so that was just a story. But I just remember
thinking that this must be how she feels, when at one point I
reached down and began pulling out this crazy three or four inch
splinter. It just kept going and going and going.
I remember there were those guys in my apartment building. I

was trying to get my stuff out of the building and they were just
kicking me out and rushing me. I was there with my father at the
time.
Anyway, I got the splinter and thought "This is what she must
feel like to have all this wood stuck in her all the time." Was it
some Indian girl?
I was in line when that girl came up to me. She looks at me and
goes "YOU!" I was in line, like a prisoner with these other peo-
ple. Alex was in front of me. We were walking towards a weird
metal concert? This is right before we got on the vehicle with
that guy. We were walking to this place and metal concerts were
going on and everyone was being rowdy. We were like a specta-
cle to everyone because we were prisoners for having done some-

thing. So we're walking forward. Not chained or anything, but
walking in file, I remember people performing on stage, they
looked over and smiled like "Whooa!" because we were there. As
if we were celebrities. I remember as we passed through it was
just very sordid and demoralizing and I didn’t know what was
going on.
The girl who said “It’s you!” She was younger than me so I didn’t
have a crush on her. She said "Thanks to you I've now been able
to..." It was someone who thought I was weird before but... I
don’t remember exactly what, but she was able to do something
she had always wanted to do. The words she used were weird, like
"twisting" and "curving" and she said that while we were walk-
ing in line, and other people in line heard it. That’s when the
people in front of me and behind me in line realized that I was
here—because I helped someone else out, and not because I stole
something for myself or did something criminal and selfish. And
I remember their reactions in front and behind me, and they
were mocking her wording, saying to me "I hope it was worth it,
for your twisting and curving. Hope it was worth it!” And I re-
member whispering to the person in front of me, or to the side
of me, saying “It was worth it.”
I was essentially describing the happiness that I saw in them, that

girl. I think I had the chance to escape but because I was help-
ing them... It wasn't someone I liked or knew. I just saw they
had something to look forward to. And I think at first they were
afraid of me. And I helped change their life and get them out.
And it was pretty cool.
I remember being in a little hotel bedroom. There was someone

playing video games. Was it Dad and Asia? Or me and dad? I
don’t know. But I remember that Asia was there, and possibly my
mother. Some people came to take me away. There were a bunch
of people there, and I remember going through drawers, telling
my dad "Wait up!” Then going through drawers to see if I left
anything behind that I wanted to take. I didn’t find anything re-
ally, but he kind of rushed me, saying "Give up on that. Just let’s
go.” And it was just me and him who had to leave. My moth-
er and sister stayed. But there were a bunch of guys there. Don’t
know who they were, but they seemed kind of official, belonging
to some government.
Was there something having to do with the Gravedancers? I feel

like there was. I feel that one guy I was riding with in that ship
thing was like Matt M. Not totally, but in the beginning he re-
minded me of him. I feel like there were totally some really ‘sexy’
moments between me and some girl. I have no idea what that
might entail. I just know there was something.
There was a dog in it, but I don’t know whose dog or what kind.
It was small, and I remember getting distracted, saying "I can’t do
this when the dog is doing this to me,” and it was when one of
those detectives or agents were there at the hotel, and I remem-
ber they were making me do it, and I flipped out at the dog "I
CAN’T DO IT WHEN THE DOG IS DOING THIS!" but I
remember thinking I should have chilled out and not yelled that
in front of them. I seem to remember some guy my age with very
striking eyes, and I feel he was supposed to be my best friend at
first but something went wrong and then we ended up hating
one another.
It was a really strange moment when I was waiting for that other
guy to come back and this guy to my left, just an older guy, put
his hand on my leg and started rubbing it back and forth in a
slow circular motion. It was my knee—not my crotch or any-

thing—but it was very unusual. So I had to make up that lie
about my leg so as to get him to stop without being blunt or
mean. But he respected my request.
I remember thinking that what he was doing to my leg was not

objectively problematic to the point where others might not un-
derstand if I took an issue with it, so to take an issue with it
would be to show that you knew something was wrong with it,
and therefore I was afraid to do so, and so I had to give an excuse
like that, because if you didn’t know there was something weird
about it... if thought it was something else... you just wouldn’t
think anything of it. Does that make sense?
I’m missing chunks from the beginning. There was totally a girl
and I don’t remember who, and I really hated having to leave
her when I left the hotel area. I remember seeing someone in the
dream who recognized me from the hotel. It was like an older
woman. She was like "ahhh!" I think she was someone I helped
once over there at the hotel earlier on.
I remember singing at one point. It was so, so good to be able to

sing. I remember thinking it was so nice to be able to do it like
I was; to be singing like that. Someone made me food and was
very hospitable.
I can’t really describe how weird those bathrooms were. Like, I

went over there because I saw bathrooms, so I thought ‘Okay I'll
go use them.’ The person who I was with just came back from
one. I was walking over there, and I looked, and they were all just
weird things, like changing rooms. They had a weird appearance.
Wooden doors. Old doors. Not just one solid piece of wood, but
like a picket fence. Several planks. Light blue. And a sign on it
in that cursive font which read something like "Sign up!" or "See
you soon!" I don’t know if what I’m saying makes any sense.
I was at Kenny’s house. That's right. I was standing there and I

was on the phone with him and he was playing these songs over
the phone. He called me, and at first it didn’t sound like he was
even talking to me. Sounded like he was talking to someone else.
I wasn't sure what was going on; but he later played me a song
on guitar. It was interesting. I still remember my opinion of it.
It wasn't too crazy, and it was harder than the stuff he used to
play, style-wise. I remember thinking that the melody had only
one note different from a song I had heard before. It barely de-
viated at all from some popular song. So he called me up and
played guitar and all the sudden I was there with him. But we
were having weird conversations, because we weren't acting very
close, and it almost seemed like we were very distant from one
another even when we were standing right there; but at the same
time it didn’t bother me because I knew it wasn’t the case. So
we acted like each other wasn’t even in the room, but there was
something about it where I was like "Oh, that’s not a problem.
It’s not like our friendship is messed up. This happens and people
get past it." I don’t know. He had some kind of problem, I forget
what it was. It might have been his mother who was hospitable
to me.
Now the only detail I can’t really recall is that moment I was
looking into the womb like that guy said to do. It was the most
crazy kind of 3D vision simulation I had ever seen.
I remember thinking the car was extremely cramped. It was very

uncomfortable for me because of that. I think I did also have
something weird attached to my back that was making every-
thing more uncomfortable, like some metal stuck or strapped to
me. I forget what it was, exactly. I was dragging some weird piece
of something with me. It was like tied to me by a rope. Like a big
piece of metal fence or something.
• I don’t know, but I was justified. Everyone has that one word they
pronounce a little strange that no one else has. I forget what the
word was. ‘Party’ or something? I said the word ‘party’ real strange,
and technically imperfect, and it draws attention to itself...
“PIZZA & WATERMELON”*
02/24/2014 | 10:37 AM
The pizza on the deck. My mother was doing something and
spat on a pizza. Someone had sent it from California or some
such. I was like "Aw man" they sent some watermelon too. It was
cut up strange, but that was so it would fit correctly in a small
place. So I told her she spit on the pizza, and she said "I did NOT
spit on the pizza. I'll show you" I said "Stop coming here... And
stop touching my pizza" and she started swaying crazily, and said
"I'm going to break someone’s nose and such and such" so I went
outside and she still came after me outside... So I started scream-
ing at her then she went back in. But later on there was that big
scene where I yelled "YOU ARE A DEMON. YOU ARE A
SORCERESS. YOU ARE A WITCH. YOU ARE A MULE.
YOU ARE A SORCERESS MULE." And I started adding them
together in a variety of different ways. The same five or six words.
And it was very very ridiculous and she stood there for the first
little while and just took it but then she went back inside... And
later my grandparents showed up. And I remember that was
weird. I woke up while that was still going on. I didn’t see my
grandfather because he was behind the door, holding the door,
and he looked kind of weird, gray in the face, like he was emo-
tionally upset, and I said to them "Do you guys want to know
something about the fact that I've been stuck here all this time?
She causes about 80 percent of my anxiety" I said something like
that to Nanny... And Asia was standing there too and she was
trying to pretend this all wasn't happening... This big uproar. I
said "You emotionally sucked the life... You physically hurt... [...]"
and I yelled all these different combinations of words in an angry
voice. And I don’t know what I was getting those packages for,
720
but I remember going "Whoa... I already got two packages?" and

I remember standing in the back of dad's truck... And he showed
up home from work early, and he said "Well, you can’t say you
didn’t expect them" "Well I didn't expect them YET" and I said
"Is one of them from This place?" and he said "Yeahh" I think one
of them was L.A... They were both completely stuffed and from
different people. One had a pizza and watermelon in it... The wa-
termelon was cut into and it wouldn’t have fit into the package
if he didn’t cut it... So I thought "whoa... Pizza... " and took a
bite even knowing I probably couldn’t swallow it, just to see if
it was something I could grind, but it was totally undoable... So
I thought Damn and put it back down. I don’t know if bought
this or if I won this or what, but I had all this food and it was
just kind of chopped up and I thought whatever. I don’t remem-
ber what was in the other box. We're all just standing in the dri-
veway... What happened before that... I don’t remember when
it all started going wrong. I just know that me and my father
were talking. Then my mother came downstairs at one point and
starts eating ALL of the food that I brought... And I said "STOP
IT" and she was doing something really... The way she was talk-
ing... The way she was doing it... And the way she was sneaking it
while I’m saying it, saying "I'm not, I'm not..." but she was eating
it while she was saying that, and I was getting SO upset.
I remember when I got the food I was looking at my stomach,

thinking man I've been eating a lot lately... And I thought I’m go-
ing to get fat if I eat all this. I figured I could just eat this stuff
though... So I decided I could but I still wasn’t very interested.
So I looked at my side to see how my intestinal/stomach injury
was... Then there was something going on in a mall. What was
that about?
There was a girl in the beginning. I don’t know who or what we

did, but it was close to the beginning. I feel like I can remember
unbuttoning someone's shirt. I also feel like I remember her do-
ing some kind of bollywood video setup. Like the songs in Dil or
something. I’m not sure. Something about those. That feeling...
That stage. I don’t know. Something felt like that. Like I was in a
video like that.
Observations that I can remember: the pizza didn’t look very ex-
pensive. I thought it looked like something someone cooked in
their oven rather than a professional pizza cooking place. I also
remember saying to Nanny, "I never said anything, but you guys
know that I’ve been here for the past six years. I’ve never ex-
plained to you that eighty percent of the anxiety is from her,” sig-
naling to my mother, and I remember Nanny didn’t hear me, and
she said,'' What?" and then she put her hand on my shoulder and
walked me into the living room away from the noise and then
asked "What was that?" so I had to repeat it.
• Walking into the nurse’s office and saying "Nurse... something

something something. Could he be Peuot?" It was someone they
were looking for. Earlier they had said it would be difficult to find a
person based on this limited stuff, but I never gave up, and I noticed
she responded to me all surprised and said “Did he have gray hair?"
I noticed weird things with an item just a minute ago, so I barged in
the office and said “Could it be? Could this be him?” It was a very
weird moment, but I was acting.
“BLUE TRUCK”
02/24/2014 | 9:41 PM
There was that girl. She disappeared. There was all that stuff with
Asia watching shows on the couch at the beginning of the dream.
There was all that stuff at the end where I was in class and I got
mad while I was cooking bread, and it looked like really good
bread, but I was thinking "Where did that girl go?"
There were those guys in weird masks walking around. And there
was that drill instructor guy that was getting mad at that guy be-
hind me. And I got in trouble in class for standing up and say-
ing something I wanted to do, and they said "Sorry we'll have to
wait until next time" and I said "But this one was good!" and they
said "But you'll have to wait till next week" and I said "Does any-
body know the answers here? Does anybody know what we’re
doing?!?" and I got pissed off. I still remember the moment when
the girl started liking me... I forget how it happened... But the
way she turned to look at me. I remember her face... When she
started falling for me. We had just come back from a cave or
something. But we were walking down the road. There was that
thing with bicycles. She did this weird bicycle trick across the
street. It was really funny, and she slammed into a blue truck.
And while she was spinning across the road she said "That was
cool when I hit that truck" but while I was spinning I acciden-
tally hit a blue truck and got severely injured, like flattened, and
she didn’t see me when it happened, and a car that drove by
had to stop and help me, and she just kept riding away, think-
ing about me, not knowing I was in trouble... I don’t know who
those three guys following us around the street were... Those guys
with masks... Animal masks. "Faddish masks and silver-grays?"
723
? What was that... When me and that girl were in that real-
ly creepy cave, finding really creepy stuff out. There were really
crazy things coming. We were dancing or something at the be-
ginning. It was really nuts. Maybe we didn’t dance. I don’t know.
But it was something like that, and really funny. There was also
a classroom at the beginning, not just the end. There were two
class scenes. ——
• Someone was just whistling in my brain...
...and I kept getting scolded over the sink while I was making my
bread... two pieces of this good looking whole wheat bread... re-
ally dark... maybe not whole wheat bread. I simply wasn't able to
explain to everyone else in the class what was going on. Some-
one was looking for us, though. A crazy gang was searching for
us. They wore animal masks, and one of them called himself Jesse
James. We were walking through a deep tunnel, and a guy in a
pig mask jumped out and I went "OH MY GOSH! IT’S HIM!”
And we went running and running. The running scenes were so
vivid. And sometimes we held hands, sometimes not. And I re-
member making sure she didn’t get separated from me when we
weren’t holding hands. And sometimes we had bikes but not the
whole time.
• Did the movie... like "Thank you, no thank you,” in it? I’m not
sure. But there was ?? jealousy... Am I even talking about the dream
I had or am I just talking?*
I don’t remember as much as I would like. I remember while we

were going back... That was so sad. After I got in the accident,
and I was no longer there for her, she went riding... Or possibly
walking her bike down the busy road after that happened to me.
And I don’t think she ever saw what happened to me. I think
she just knew I disappeared. Knowing something bad happened.
And I could see her up close even when I was nowhere near her,
she had like a blue uniform on, and while she was walking her
bike she was talking, updating everything that happened with
her, and everything that she was enjoying, and she was telling me
that it was for me... It was like she was praying to me (as if she
knew I died).
I remember sleeping on the bed, and it was like it was continuing

from my actual falling to sleep, so it was REALLY weird. I re-
member there was Robitussin at the side of my bed, and I
thought "I’m going to take a little of this," and then I realize I
drank three-fourths of the bottle, and I freaked the hell out, be-
cause I was accidentally asleep, and "WHAT THE FUCK DID
I JUST DO!" and I couldn’t believe it. I jumped up and drank
a ton of water and was filling my mouth with crackers and stuff,
terrified of getting high. So I tried to fall asleep fast enough so
that I wouldn’t be awake when its effects kick in. I was so freaked
out because I wouldn’t be able to handle the high in my physical
condition. It was freaky. I didn’t tell anybody what was happen-
ing but I was really scared of it.
• I was still able to do all the duets I wanted to do...

“ROADKILL”
02/25/2014 | 9:52 AM
so anyway that was that... Part where that girl and I, when we
first were running away from the jesse james guy... We had to run
through the fence. And there was a really short guy with a differ-
ent mask on, and we had to plow through him. Standing at the
gate. And I remember he was asking what was going on, so I was
like BOOM. I forget what I did to him. It wasn’t anything crazy.
then me and her went and hid. I’m not sure if it was this time or
if it was on our way here... When we were hiding...while running
from street to street. I just remember seeing a bunch of these
construction... Giant tubes...and I pulled her over... Or tried to...
Maybe I was just thinking about it... Thinking it would be a great
romantic spot... Thinking I wanted to kiss her there... But I’m
not sure we did it... Oh and that thing at the end where the guy
said that my example wouldn’t be able to be used. What hap-
pened was we all had these worksheets... And I had this example
I came up with... This guy didn’t look like me at all. Didn’t sound
like me... It might not have actually been me. And I was watch-
ing him. But I might not have been around at all... I guess I died
when hitting that vehicle... And now I was just watching this
guy... This guy I was thinking was me... They didn’t accept the
example sentence he gave in response to the question and said
he had to wait until next week, and he said "This doesn't make
sense" then that drill instructor-like teacher came in... Creepier
guy. He was just looming behind us all. I realized I didn’t have
anything filled in in the first section, so I thought "oh no" then
started writing into the second and third sections just to look
like I was still doing something. I just remember that...
726
I remember while I was messed up on robo... It never really hit

me hard, so I was really relieved. I think I meant to drink half
of the bottle, but accidentally drank 3/4, so that’s what freaked
me out. But I think I managed not ending up feeling it because
of all my countermeasures. I remember my parents were on the
couch watching TV at the time. So I was waiting for them to go.
Because I wanted to watch something with Asia. And I remem-
ber at one point Asia was sitting there. Iwas overhearing conver-
sations over the telephone, hearing other guys talking... Those
korean friends she has... Remember thinking their voices sound
more normal than I thought, but that they were just as dumb as I
would have thought... And I tried to make out which was which.
It was creepy though when me and that girl were in that cave.
It was a cool looking place. I don’t know what we were looking
for... We were just progressing. Then that guy shows up out of
nowhere coming through the gate. Not the main gate that we
came through but through the other side accessible within the
cave, and he just comes walking towards us and I thought "ohh-
hhh boy" and we knew it was jesse james. I think that was his
name. Something like that. Some kind of famous outlaw name.
Or some guy called himself that. But it was weird when the
whole accident scene happened, because she had just hit a ve-
hicle and done a crazy twirl, and in her mind she was thinking
"THAT WAS FUN!" and I could hear her thoughts, thinking "I
SHOULD DO THAT AGAIN!" and because she was all spin-
ning around and stuff, and right as she was spinning, I ended up
crashing into a different blue truck it was a little further down
left of the street, not far, and it hit so hard that I practically van-
ished, then they had to pull me aside, think they took me, don’t
know what happened, but I died I guess.
“NONSENSE COAST”
02/25/2014 | 11:28 AM
There was that van... And it was chasing after... Trusted in the
messiah were coming... And it was sure... That I ?? what they were
waiting for... Even some of my time was spent driving in a car that
I was sure they would recognize... Was pointing at their own er-
ror, rather than leaning to judgments on that fact... But I made
an escape. After several different ?? and remakes and stuff. There
was all that stuff... Me moving to a different place... So I had a
party of like five people... A birthday party... Something weird...
Some group... In the hallway... And they were looking at some-
thing just so I could tell them that I knew what that something
was. First thing was like a ... Floridian? Floridian coast? I don’t
know... But he had a countryish kind of color to him. There was...
I don’t know what the timer ... Countdowns came from... But I
remember packing up stuff at one point... I remember something
specific being packed but don’t remember what it was now.
728
“VULTURE AND
NANNYPUPPET”
02/26/2014 | 10:28 AM
There was the buzzard. The vulture or something in the sky.
There was also the fact that that dog was freaking out and I had
to have someone hold her back as we were all sitting on the porch
and she started freaking out at me. Don’t know why... Because I
pushed her wrong and it was terrible. I called mom a ‘Nannypup-
pet’. And she was like "No, you're father's a Nannypuppet" and I
said "So what" and she said "See, you said so" and then she said
to my father "Hey, he called you a Nannypuppet" and I said "No.
No I didn't. I just didn't feel like arguing with you" yeah Nanny
was trying to get all this stuff for Asia for sending some herbal
supplements away? a bunch of free samples? and she was like
"aahhh I didn’t tell you that I don't have all this something some-
thing furcular something" and I said "...furcular?" and she kept
talking about it, then Asia came up and said "I've been having
something something furcula" and she's like "Wanna guess?" and
she goes "Furcula. Forkula. Furururuaaalala." and then I started
making a bunch of nonsense homonyms too. but then Asia got a
bunch of boxes from this place. Where she went to get herbs. An
a lot of it was like brochures and stuff... But one box had all of the
(??) in it. They shipped all the (?) together just to keep it all in
one box. Not sure what the reason for it was. But yeah I remem-
ber opening it up and saying "Okay, this is the one that’s going to
have all that stuff in it" so she's like "we'll go through these little
packets and stuff..." so Nanny says... Since she has several of them
like a supplier would have she asks "Can I have one of these?" and
they said "Yeah" but then she's sitting there looking at them and
goes "Hey can I ask you something?" and I remember I leaned
729
forward over the table at that point and looked her... And she
asked a question, when even though she was looking at me, she
was clearly asking Asia... Who was behind me... Then I went "uh-
hh" and didn’t say anything and leaned back again. She said "You
only have one of these... So what about this?" and Asia said "Nah
I kind of want that one" it was some liquid formula that came
in a homeopathic tube. And then after that I remember ... But
then ... I went "Wait. Isn't all this stuff free ? you just have to sign
up?" then Asia goes "Yeah" then I asked Nanny "Wait... Then why
don't YOU sign up?" "I don't feel like it." "So you can have all this
stuff you want that helps you if you just sign up but you don’t
FEEL like it?" "Yeah I don’t feel like it" then I said "MAN, you
guys ARE alike" I said that because mom was in the room also...
Meaning that they made no sense that they were like that. And
we got into a little argument. Before that was all that shit with
the buzzard. We were in New Jersey and I went walking down
the street, and I saw Pat at his house, ‘cause we were at Nanny and
Poppops house old house... And I remember seeing him stand-
ing in his front yard... I was walking down the street being sil-
ly... Doing something with a chair. I was doing something else, I
don’t know what it was...right in the middle of the street, a little
past where his house would be... At the intersection. I remem-
ber listening to loud music too... A Hindi playback singer. Some-
thing like that. There was like a buzzard. There was a chair right
there... I don’t remember where it was. I think I was just using
it. It was like on the edge of the road or something. So when I
was done doing something weird with it, I decided I would put
it in the yard... I saw Milly there too. I remember thinking "Do
I call her Rosemary or Milly?" because I didn’t know what she
wanted to be called. So I think I said a combination of both or
something. So I dragged the chair into that yard. Which I knew I
shouldn’t be doing, but for some reason I did it. And I tried a few
different spots... I was like Should I drag it over to this side of the
house or this side?'' But I put it in their front yard. I mean... See-
ing as how their yard was close to my gate, I don’t mean that, but
there was that little strip where there is land right in front of the
house. And something in me knew that this chair was a buzzard,
and I don’t know what the hell that meant... But I remember
putting it there then I took off running, going "AHAHAHA-
HA." And I was hoping they didn’t see me. And I looked over to
make sure, an I saw that she was doing something in the kitchen
at this point. So she didn’t see me. It was an office chair... Don’t
think it had any wheels though. Yeah but I knew they would be
pissed when they found it. Don’t know why I did it. But I went
running back to Nanny and Poppops house.
So then when I got back to the house my father and Asia were
talking about something. Don’t remember what exactly. She said
something... What was it... They were looking at the ceiling.
There was a sky roof or something... A sunroof. Something like
that. And I remember Asia making the comment "Whoaaa. A
buzzard or a vulture" and I made a comment like
"OOoooOOh!`` It was a weird comment that was very suspi-
cious sounding that made my father look at me like I was the one
who caused this problem, like he knew... "Oh... Why is that buz-
zard over there in that yard? I wonder who would have brought
something like that over there" and he looked at me weird like
he knew what I did... It was something I was NOT supposed to
do. And so after that I remember... Everyone was talking for a lit-
tle while longer in this room with the sunroof. I remember look-
ing out the window and seeing her freaking out with a broom...
We were talking about the buzzard... It was just flying high in the
sky overhead. But I remember having different thoughts about
the buzzard and can’t remember. Like I remember saying differ-
ent things... Like "Oh it won't attack unless you clearly approach
it while on the ground, but when it’s in the air it’s fine" or some-
one said that... Something like that... I don’t remember what hap-
pened after that.
Yeah, I remember the dog freaking out at me. Don’t remember

what I did. But then after that I was excusing those two of being
Nannypuppets... Then my mom said "No you are" and I said
"Yeah, you think that’s true?" "Of course that's true" then I said
"Why don’t you take one look at the things I do and see if I’m
a Nannypuppet" "Of course you are." and then she said "Look
at those dogs" and I saw two dogs just staring at me. And one
of them was trying to lick me. (?) there might have been a con-
versation about musical genres. What is it... I had it a minute
ago... Yeah, so I went in the room, laughing hysterically "HAHA-
HA HOOOOHOOHOHO HEHEHEHE" and while they
were on the phone and trying to get me to walk over... So I ap-
peared in the door and they said "Something something some-
thing you came over" and I remember they had a dog in their
lap. And I forget what they wanted from me... But their laugh
was ridiculous. And like they said "Okay, now he's here, what
do you want." This was a hypnagogic hallucination.
SSHSHSHSHSHHSSHSHSHSHSHSHSHSHS. I'm not
sure I walked that far when going for a walk around the neigh-
borhood. Mostly just to the intersection where Pat’s house was
(and by Pat I am referring to my grandparents old neighbor in
New Jersey who had tons of dogs and ran a sort of dog groom-
ing service... Mostly Scotties which barked a ton, but he had a
Yorkshire I think it’s name was Cupcake and a snotty pug named
Whoopie and my sister and I would lay alongside the fence and
play with Whoopie who was our favorite).
• I don't know why we were all standing there discussing the mort-
gage. Talking about getting rid of some bill after some increase. I
don’t even know. By the time I walked into the room they weren’t
even talking about that anymore. And there was a lot of damage
everywhere, like a wild party had happened...
“MOTHERDRUGGINGROBOCHASE”
02/27/2014 | 12:40 AM
I was playing games with my dad. At least that’s what it feels like.
But we were inside the game and it was really weird. At the end
I woke up and I thought I Just wanted to make sure... But could
I save this... Could I teleport... Could I use my teleport ability
anywhere I want? —— my dad ‘cause I always pause it and stop
here and take off from danger... Because I had just taken off run-
ning down the road from that drug thing. That creepy drug ma-
chine. That’s not really the best way to describe it... But it was this
robot thing that was chasing me... it was working for its "Moth-
er", that’s what they called it... It was from the case we were cur-
rently working on. I don’t think they have given it yet... But I got
there too early and couldn’t find my dad. And it was really creepy
‘cause it was chasing me down the street... Chasing me through
this dark yard at night. That’s when we were in this place that
had a sailboat or something in the backyard... And we were go-
ing along... And I kept going in there, and then all of the sudden
he appeared... And I looked and I didn’t see my dad. And it was
in this area where he was... Where I thought my dad would be...
It was just at the back of this neighborhood at night, and he saw
me and took off after me...at first he started aiming something
after me... And after a while he picked up these four black balls
that were each numbered like billiard balls. I don’t think he ever
did anything with them but he was preparing to. Then after that
we were running through the neighborhood... Then through the
road where there was this orphan thing happening. Don’t know
what it was, but it was a bunch of children... Mostly black chil-
dren... On the street it was like a parade or something.after that
I came to a building where there were these power ranger type
734
things... Different colors... Red yellow... Green blue... Stuff like

that, and they came running out. And I thought "Oh good...
Some people do a diversion" and then I did a big loop around
the city, and I was only able to move in certain directions and in
certain formations (like chess?)... So I did like this weird u-turn
kind of thing, but it wasn’t normal. It was a weird curve. Then I
ended up on another street. Meanwhile, that thing that was close
behind me now got stuck in the large mass of people. I knew that
the power ranger people would find it and fight it... Because that
mother person was sending all these things after me now... Those
robot things... There were other ones too, but this was the on-
ly one of its kind. There were different types though... Because it
had information about a drug that could not be released. And it
would have been really really bad if it was... They were like store-
houses of information, and you wouldn’t know that it wasn’t a
real person at first... But that’s how it was. They were robots...
Then at the end my father told me I can’t save and teleport in
all areas. And I asked "So if I try to teleport away from one of
the biggest enemies can I do that?" and he said "No you can’t...
Some of the situations that are most dangerous it stalls out" and
I said "Oh my god it’s a good thing you told me that" and he said
"Yeah I tried to teleport away from a big bad guy but it didn’t
work" and Asia was there for a while but I don’t know what she
was doing. I remember us all going through the back of a residen-
tial neighborhood at night, and we were climbing this building,
and dropped down into a sailboat or something into someone's
backyard... And we were trying to think of a name for something
at that time... And we were on our way coming back for some-
thing we had forgotten to bring with us earlier... An accessory or
something. I remember being in a closed warehouse... Running
through one of the higher floors. What was going on? Was I cap-
tured or something? and I remember laughing in a weird way
... And I thought my laughter had saved me... Because it threw

them off long enough for me to... Act... I don’t know. There was
something really weird though... Like... A lot of the good guys
didn’t like us... So we were in trouble like... Everyone. I don’t
know why. We just were. I remember seeing some joke or some-
thing at the end... It was...
I also remember being in this weird...fancy shipp. Not an ar-

cade... that’s where we were for a while around the beginning...
Or earlier than the previous scene... Maybe not the beginning.
• Some kind of buzzer... or doorbell.
I remember a girl chasing me... Just a bunch of people chasing me

around this hotel thing. I remember just walking around these
neighborhood streets by myself... And I started taking part in
random conversations until they realized something was wrong
with me.
• I reached into my pocket and pulled out a heart... but I don’t feel
like it was real... but not knowing what to do with it because it was
only... ‘cause then I realized how young I really was. This boy cry-
ing over the fact that the guy's bones are stiff. And they’re like "Don’t
worry, it’s probably fixed!", “No... not... his bones are stiff... he’s not
alive.”
(ILLEGIBLE. MAKE SURE THAT PART IS CORRECT).

I forget. I don’t remember the different people I met, but I
know...*
• Yeah, she just reached up and went "Ahhhyuuuu?" and she reaches
for a gun and shoots the head of the captain, or the person in charge
of this team... Clearly off... And all the other people are shocked that
she's able to do it. And now she’s really in trouble, because the gov-
ernment is protecting this family for this... Big organization... So
they have immunity, and it didn’t matter what I did. I was going
against them... I don’t know... I was like a bad guy even though I
wasn't. [?] Not sure what... We were just kind of doing... I don’t
know how we were getting our tasks done. We were just going from
one thing to another. And escaping all the time. And sometimes I
would just stop and stare at the packaging of the thing I was escap-
ing... And it would be really interesting...
“COFFEE ADVERTISEMENTS”
02/27/2014 | 1:01 AM
There would be random coffee advertisements, or weird... I don’t
know... This adventure was too much of a headache; too much to
bear. The end result was...
• I don’t like that light color... that peach-purple crap. A combi-

nation of like... all that crazy hairstyle. No idea what I'm talking
about. What am I talking about? Dammit.
738
“ANYTHING”
02/27/2014 | 2:21 AM
This dream was so messed up. It was like anything could have
happened at all. I got beat up by... something happened...
739
“GRINCH WRENCH”
02/27/2014 | 12:35 PM
Within the final scene I was sitting on a table where there was
that lady on the ‘wanted’ sign. And I forget what her name was.
But she was trying to figure out if she was that lady at the be-
ginning of the dream who had done something weird... like...
floated away, or floated down impersonating someone else, and
I said "It’s that woman! That’s the robber!“ I remember that the
emboldened letters on her wanted poster seemed kind of ran-
dom. But right before that I had been sitting there eating choco-
late mints, and some other candy, because my father told me if
I could find... I could trade the interiors for candy, ... no, not
for candy, for money... and he was telling me that some of them
had different pieces of candy inside of them, so I was scraping
away the top layer of the chocolate. I don’t remember exactly
what it was, but I was scraping away the top layer of something,
and pulling out little pieces of something. And the mints were
the candy that was inside of something else. And I remember
pulling out a whole mint and going “SHIT, IT’S A WHOLE
ONE!” because usually it was just little pieces of them. And I was
just putting them on a plate because my dad told me he would
pay me if I found them. He didn’t know I would actually do it,
but he said "Yeah, there's candy inside these candies.” There was
another one too. I forget what it was. Then there was another
one like oatmeal, but I don’t think it was oatmeal. But then he
comes over and Asia is watching me do it, and he comes over
and says "We can’t have that" and then goes "I’m going to mix it
up with what you've had with this" and he dumps all the refuse
on my plate... Or the other stuff... And I got so pissed off and
I went to go at him. And that’s when I walked by that wanted
740
poster... He ruined it all for me because he didn’t feel like paying

up. He didn’t think I would find that many. I remember other
parts of the dream where I was trying to sleep... I was trying to
sleep for hours and hours and hours. So I was lying there with
a really parched mouth. Wait, what was that thing outside... My
dad was doing some yard work. It was a game. He was talking
about a friend of his who would play sports with me. "He does
this and this and this" he mentioned a bunch of games and I said
"Badminton?" and then he said yeah, then he mentioned anoth-
er name of a sport, and I said "Badminton?" and he mentions
another name. I was trying to figure out the game that had the
bird in it, and thought "Hey that doesn't sound threatening"...
Oh god what was that... What color was it... It was green. Was
it green? or orange? well there was a sheep. A big, giant sheep.
It was running around and it somehow got itself into some kind
of thing, and now it was a bright neon color... Either orange
or green. It was running around and Asia was going to call it
"wrench"... It must have been green. ‘Cause I said "That’s weird
that you wouldn't pick Grinch", and she said "I was thinking of
Grinch, but I thought wrench sounded funny" and I said "Yeah
I like Wrench." And so I told her "Yeah go with Wrench." It was
just walking around the yard... Mom and Asia were out there
laughing at it... But it looked NOTHING like our yard. There
was a wheat-field or something, and they said "LOOK OVER
THERE!" and I turned my head and went "Oh god, what hap-
pened to the sheep? ''. Saw it walking in the field. I remember dad
tried to bop me with something that was electrically powered...
And I went "What the hell? I’m just coming out here, I’m not
fully awake, and I’m supposed to go back to bed. Why are you
bopping me like that?" and it pissed me off, and then I walked
around, and the sheep looked very angry, walking around the
field, very angry, and the other two were still laughing. So I went
back into the house and the sheep followed me and I thought
"ARE YOU KIDDING? It ran away from everyone else but it
followed ME? This is ridiculous" It was funny though. It was run-
ning away from all of them but following me... Acting like dogs
act around me. It followed me up the stairs and everything. But
the house looked nothing like our house. I couldn’t fall asleep
so I turned on the TV quietly... But not like a video... But au-
dio. I forget what I turned on first, but it was an album. And
soon after turning it on I thought I would switch to another al-
bum. So I remember turning on Bryan Ferry Bete Noire. And I
remember I wasn’t... I was feeling around on the floor with my
hand to find the remote... And I was too tired and didn’t want
to move or else I would mess up my sleeping position. So I was
just doing it without seeing it. Then I started trying to rewind
it to get to the beginning of the album... And when it started
playing... Limbo started. Of course... But Limbo sounded differ-
ent, and I was confused... It sounded very quiet... The way Lim-
bo sounded... But very unusual, and somewhat classical... A lit-
tle more subdued than usual. And when I looked at the stereo I
saw that the numbers were counting backwards, and I thought
WHAT? It’s one of those albums that have a secret part before
track 1? I didn’t know that. A secret hidden track before the al-
bum starts? And I watched it get down to 0 from 30 and then
the real Limbo came on, and I thought it was awesome... Start-
ed with the same intro but it was classical leading into the one
I knew... So then I turned down the volume because it was a lit-
tle loud... And then I thought "This is fun listening to this while
falling asleep" but I couldn’t fall asleep and I lied there for hours
and hours and my mouth was dry, and I remember I had to go
into the kitchen at one point and get a green mug... Because I
forgot to fill up my water bottle. So I put a little water in a green
coffee mug. So I had that sitting next to my bed. My bedroom
was kinda like my Londonberry bedroom, but bigger. Same lay-

out, I suppose. I remember looking out the window and seeing
something odd. I think I was just able to see Asia and dad doing
something, like driving around in the yard with a tractor. It was
like some weird farmland we lived on... and wrench. I was going
to say it just followed me around all sheepishly... But that clear-
ly sounds like a pun. I don’t know if there’s anything else. I just
know I laid in bed for a long time... And there was my mom who
came and started talking at one point, so I had to go out and say
something.Pissed off about that candy. I was like "Which ones
have the stuff in them?" "The chocolate mint patties... And this..."
It was cool before he ruined it all.
Yeah, about the grinch or wrench... I remember when I went

walking into the house and walked up the stairs and looked
to the right into the corner of the hallway there was a little
pile of green powder or paint... And I saw exactly how it hap-
pened....how wrench got all messed up... Walked into this area
when he was supposed to. It was pretty funny.
“KENNY’S HOUSE”
02/28/2014 | 4:19 AM
That was a goofy fucking dream. The dream ended with me run-
ning at a girl who was standing back against the wall, and I was
about to knock her with my ass. I was at Kenny's house. This will
be the call... I was thinking of calling it Kenny's house... ‘Ken-
ny's Grease House and Cheese’... I don't know what I was talking
about, but that's what I was thinking to call it before I woke up.
Kenny showed up, picked me up, and it was weird because I was
having sleeping problems and I don't know how in the world that
could possibly happen , I forget where I was standing when he
just showed up... Maybe my work room. And without any warn-
ing he asked if I wanted to go over, so I said okay, and I got in-
to his car... Well there's a lot to cover... So I'll be covering the
girl... Well... Two girls... There was this girlfriend who... He had
just gotten back from Michigan for some reason (an allusion to
Daniel, perhaps?), and his girlfriend looked like she was about to
grab me in her sleep and it was weird... And he was upset later
on because he knew there was no way she could have been asleep
because she knew right where I was and how I was positioned.
So he was annoyed. And he’s talking about been back from MI
for a few days. Later on we were hanging out in a room with a
bunch of people. And that woman came out and started talking
about interesting names people name their babies... I don’t know
if it was supposed to be his mom or not. Just a strange hispanic
woman. She made a list and set it aside for me of lists of inter-
esting things she’s seen people name their baby. And I thought
that was weird since I never talked to her more than once before.
And she said "I see on your something it says Tendona... And on
this it says Koria..." and I said "There's no UH in it." I kept saying
744
that "Why are you adding an extra UH in the names." "Tendona.

Koria." "There's no A. There's no UH." and she was smiling while
showing the list of names. And there was one like "Cap Candy"
or "Candy Cap (Kennedy)" and they were just stupid. And it was
right before that when someone else who lived in this house had
all their friends come over... So a lot of people are here now... In-
cluding several girls... And guys. But there were these girls who
were just hanging out in the room we were hanging out in... And
then there was that dog who sat there and peed all over that girl's
sleeping bag. And I was practically standing over the dog while
it happened... I was laughing so hard... It was really funny... And
I think it went along really funny to the song we were listening
to at the time, which made me laugh harder. And there were a
couple girls walking around topless... One girl just came over and
started beating on my chest... And it was in the room where me
and Kenny were going to play music. So I came in and whipped
off my shirt, ‘cause I saw Kenny didn’t have a shirt on, so I was
like "Okay!" trying to get into the music mood, we were just be-
ing silly. I don’t remember actually playing anything. But yeah,
one of those girls later just started punching my chest. Trying to
see if I could handle it. And I did. I didn’t even flinch while she
was going BOOM BOOM BOOM. And then she goes "Not
bad, I would never be able to do that." and I thought "well..." and
there was also that part where... What was that part with VF...I
remember I ran into one room and tripped over a plant or some-
thing, and I knocked it over. That was funny. Then right after
that I tried to look for capsaicin or something then I got lost
in another place of the house. Weird how the house was made.
Then I thought "How come every time I see VF I trip over a
plant?”
The girl was punching me. Then she shouts, “Hit me!"
"I'm not going to hit you,” I said. So she pauses for a moment and
then says, "I've got an idea. Hit me with your butt."
"What!? Is that even possible!?"
And she bursts out laughing from the surprised expression on my

face and the manner in which I asked the question.
So I asked again, because I didn't understand, "What is it you're

asking me to do!?"
She goes over to the wall where there is a coat-rack. She starts re-
moving all of the items off the rack and gets ready to move it so
that she can stand up against the wall, since she can't just stand
in the middle of the room (if I hit her, ‘cause then she would go
flying). She was asking me to run across the room backwards and
jump into her... with my backside... It didn't make sense to me.
So I'm just standing there asking "What the hell are you saying?
What are we doing?"
Right as it seemed that I was getting ready to do it I started wak-

ing up.
And then I remember telling Kenny too, because we were trying

to figure out what to do. I didn’t know what to do, because I re-
member when he first showed up and I got in his car, I wasn’t
thinking straight, not at all. I was so tired. I was like, "Aaaaaah,
it’s Kennnnny," and I didn’t bring any kratom, no provisions, and
I thought, "This is going to be so bad. I can’t believe I forgot my
kratom when I’m dealing with all these problems and a lack of
sleep. That was a mistake." So throughout the time he kept ask-
ing "What do you want to do?" asking if I wanted to go out some
place or this or that or go on a trip. I was planning on staying
the night, but we didn’t know exactly what that implied. I never
knew what to do ‘cause I was so screwed up, and at the end we
were trying to discuss it, and something went wrong, and he said
"This sucks..." to himself, and he was asking what I wanted to do,
and I told him it would probably be better if I went home, but
now that I knew I was able to do this on the spur of the moment
without really messing up my schedule too much, I told him we
could do this tomorrow or over the weekend, resume it, or do
more stuff, and he was trying to figure out which would work.
He looked like Daniel a few times, especially when we were in
the back of the big van talking about Michigan. It was practically
a bus. And his girlfriend was lying on the floor and she was mak-
ing some weird noises in her sleep. And I thought, ‘Is that... gas?
Or is she just moaning?’ It was very odd, because her feet were
resting on me. I think I was lying down in the van as well, be-
cause I was tired, so her feet were just rubbing against me. But it
felt more weird to know that he was watching it happen than for
her to be doing it... That doesn’t sound right...
I forget what he and I did when we went in there to play music.

I just remember ripping off my shirt then I sat there to tune my
guitar. That’s right. We took a LONG time to tune... He had
some weird tuning book with him or something. It wasn’t good
at all. It didn’t make any sense, and I took a peek at it and it
had weird chords and tuning things in it, and I said "This doesn’t
make any sense," and I remember making the comment about
how it’s better than something else, but for an ironic reason. I
forget what that reason was, though. It was also loud, and every-
one was talking so loudly and I was trying to tune, and I told him
"Give me a high E,” because I thought I was in tune, but then we
both played the same string and mine definitely sounded wrong
compared to his, so I think we were just tuned to a different stan-
dard. I said "GIVE ME A HIGH E,” and he would play an E
chord or something, and then I said "GIVE ME A HIGH E,”

and then one of the girls in the room who was acting ditzy begins
yelling "HIIIGH EE! HIGGGHH EEE!” So then we're both
standing there going "What are you doing! It’s not that hard!"
So I’m waiting for him and he does it finally. He finally played it
and something was still wrong, or missing, from his set-up so we
couldn’t do anything and it was a disaster.
I just remembered when his mom was driving the car... I think
it was her... It was just me and him at first riding in this car, and
at first when we got in we were riding in the dark, through the
mountains at night, and I remember for like the first little while
I was thinking "We're still real close to my house... so... maybe
I should just tell him that what I really need to do is go back
and grab my kratom or that I’m too tired..." but I didn’t say any-
thing at all. But then after a while it seemed like we were in the
back of a van instead... almost like a trailer... very spacious... And
now his mom or someone else was driving. And he was talking
about just getting back from Michigan. And we were talking for
a while, and he just kept making allusions to getting back from
somewhere, and for a while I didn’t know what the hell he was
talking about... Not that it was Michigan, until he said it casually
at one point. And his girlfriend was asleep for most of the time.
I remember when those other people showed up randomly at his
house to visit someone else... Maybe his girlfriend... I remember
all those guys were a little more trendy looking, and I thought
"ewwwww ehhhhhh aaaaah"...at their emo hairstyle. We were lis-
tening to music at one point... We had a good time though... ex-
cept for when he was getting mad thinking "There's no way that
my girlfriend didn’t know what she was doing,” she started like
moaning then rolled over and tried to grab me and I thought
"Oh..." and I don’t remember how he snapped her out of it but
he did, like with "HEY. WAKE UP" angrily. He thought she was
pretending to be asleep so she could basically fondle me and get

away with it and... That might have been true, based on how it
looked.
“BLUE HOODIE, BLUE GUITAR”
02/28/2014 | 11:53 AM
There was the very end of the dream where I was going to go out
into the parking lot and I was going to freak out and use psy-
chology as a way to get the other guy to go out and have every-
one devoured, by going "What is the deal!? I sent them out in-
to the parking lot a few hours ago for this but then they come
back and such and such,” and then turn into a beast or some-
thing. There was that guy... that kid. This was right after I was
in that restaurant with that guy who was really nice but misun-
derstood. He was working at a desk. They were all having un-
kind assessments about him even though he wasn't at fault. And
at the end I remember the manager at the shop going "Hey, make
sure your friends stay safe," because it was late and he was con-
cerned for their safety. So he said that. And so he went over and
brought them a round of drinks. It was wine or something. That
can’t be what it actually was. It had something in it that would
make them... I don’t know... something that was good for them...
to keep them safe, because they were about to be leaving soon at
night. So he brought them over and said "Hey guys, these are on
me,” and he had a smile on his face, but everyone had just talked
about it and were discussing among themselves being suspicious
of something else he was doing, which was untrue from what I
understood... And so only the driver took one sip of the drink,
swallowed it, then they all got up and went walking away... So
I thought "wow... They really just made a mistake" so I watched
as they went walking out the door, wondering if they would get
killed or something.
750
I remember being in that convention place with Asia. I remem-

ber being in the grocery aisle and going to get dad and I was
walking back and forth cutting between checkout aisles, and he
asked "Hey... do you know where Asia is?" and then I said "Yeah,
she’s over here. Are you good?" he had come out to get some-
thing more... something that we got that previously wasn't work-
ing. Because he got the one that matched the model for the one
he had and not the one for the model mom had... Even though
I was surprised he got them because he wasted his money and
stuff on the other ones ... Help stop wasting money anyway...
Something the size of a mousetrap... I don’t know... Something
about batteries? Before that I was...sitting with these kids ... Like
a church service going on... But what was it... That’s the question.
I just remember sitting in a congregation full of people... But

who was there? I feel like Stephanie was in it. That’s the only per-
son I can remember.
Okay, what was all that stuff about me getting really upset be-
cause I was looking at this little book... Or not a book... It was
something about these two models who worked together. a guy
and a girl... And just because of their profession they always had
to be taking so many pictures together and it really bothered me
because they each had different boyfriends and girlfriends... Or
at least one of them had one... And they looked close... And it
pissed me off, because the manager forced them to take intimate-
looking pictures together... And I was looking through the port-
folio, or some of the cards they sent out around christmas time
to people... And I was pissed, thinking "You gotta be kidding me.
Do they really have no Sense?)'' Okay... It was more like a din-
ing place. I remember weaving in and out through the building...
I was covered in something. I put something on my head... Like
a hoodie or something. Something blue. I had a blue guitar in
my hand. That’s it... A blue guitar... And I got stopped by anoth-

er guy who had a pick... A very specific pick... I don’t remem-
ber who he was but I knew him from something. And he want-
ed to duel me. I forget, but everyone at this place knew... I had
a blue hoodie pulled over my head and no one could see who
I was... And there was something legendary about me... And I
didn’t have it like that the whole time, but I put it that way when
I was sitting here, and they still didn’t know who I was... I don’t
know.
I remember I had just got on my hoodie suddenly and then took

off running between the tables, and I heard everyone gasp when
they noticed who was running through... The guy with the blue
hoodie and blue guitar. And I just tried to make my exit quickly,
and I didn’t want anybody to stop me now that they knew who I
was. And then that one guy stopped me with another guy. I think
I picked up a second guitar along the way, and then he stopped
me,and I handed him one of the guitars. And he handed me a
pick or something, and I waited for him to dual me. Sounds stu-
pid, huh. It doesn't sound anything like it was at the time, but
there isn’t any way for me to describe it accurately haha. There
was something very weird about that scene. I don’t know what
happened to all those kids after they went into the parking lot
after that whole wine scene. I don’t know what got them so up-
set with that guy anyway. The guy at the bar was being so nice
to them and they were acting suspicious for no reason. Stupid
teenagers.
I recall there also being something about some old Toonami

shows, like Zoids or something? And one other show? I don’t
know what it was about, but I remember someone mentioning
them, and I felt silly because I knew what they were from my
youth.
“SPIDERS FROM THE SKY”
03/01/2014 | 8:27 AM
My father referring to Solomon the King as ‘Darth Solomon’,

and I didn’t know what the fuck he was talking about. Yet there
was that kid, Solomon, who was such an odd person. Such a
weird fighter. His language sounded really broken at first.
Seemed like there were words missing from a lot of places. "The
best at the game,” he would say. It was so funny because it was like
a weird little brick alley kind of bedroom. Speaking of which...
There was something with Ally where I accidentally left money
in her mailbox. I left her money knowing that... but then I later
remembered.
SPIDERS FALLING OUT OF SKY. PLANT A TREE. NO

MORE THAN FOUR TREES GROWING AT ONE TIME.
I was laying back on the beach,and if I pushed out, everytime

I landed, I would pose a certain way and would be able to kill
crabs and even birds that way. But I realized after pushing for-
ward really fast... There was a guy in front of me... I don’t think
this makes any sense.
• Now my pinky hurts. What did I do with my pinky? Maybe I used

it for something wild.
Yeah I was going around this world and got in a few fights I
think. There was one fight meant to show me something where I
was acting insolent. Not just arrogant but very assuming... With
this one guy.
753
• I see a bottle opener... I guess I didn’t before, but now I needed a

bottle opener to open the bottles.
That guy appeared from nowhere as I was going to plant some

trees and kept getting attacked by the weird spiders. He just ap-
peared at random.
• The region coating...? I don't know what the region coating is...
I remember sitting in a tent when I realized Ally was here, and

she was now able to convert all that stuff into 25-something of
money , and I thought "Damn it, she's a beginner and now she's
going to take that money and be given a free ride." so I was try-
ing to think of a way to get that money back or push it off until
she got more successful in life or else the money would be coun-
terproductive. ... Something ripping the skin on the outside of its
mule... It's... Mule variation... Something mule variation... It was
powers... Or something cool. What am I talking about?
I remember at one point finishing up my suit at the shop...

Maybe at a long distance shop, like I was calling in, but I was
having something finished on my suit... Weird suit, don’t remem-
ber much about it. There was that guy who appeared later on
who had a weird way of saying things. His room was so inter-
esting. He just came out of nowhere, and the way that he flew
in... He like... Flew... He had originally been disguised as some
orange and black bug with these huge wings or protuberances or
something. They almost look like leaves actually, but they were
huge... Like bigger than the rest of its body. Its body was so small
in comparison. He was so enthusiastic. But he was almost angry
at first that I managed to catch him. While he was out for a walk
or something.
• Weird flute... I just heard some strange flute. It was like "DAA...
DAAA. DADA"
“COLORLESS”*
03/01/2014 | 9:56 AM
I was running down the halls of the mall. I think l Asia was
there. I was sending messages to this one guy and he was going
"You killed me! You killed me to get what you wanted!" "I'm
sorry. I was just playing the game, and I never said I wouldn't
do it... but let me make it clear that I —— do it myself ——
this and this and this to you." and then I was looking and —(?)
CAN'T UNDERSTAND THIS PART.* He was surprised, be-
cause he was chasing after the invisible guy who was now using
some crazy stealth and sliding around the front property, like
down the block, trying to make off with my freaking colorless
card... If you give me a specific card I'll let you use my faculties
or benefit from my drink and food... ANd there were guys over
there putting cards in people's mailboxes everyday. They had one
for like every kind. They were just guys who were doing this...
They were having fun doing this... And I thought it was cool.
But yeah, the one guy... There was someone playing with a kid,
and I forget what happened, but the kid got pissy and started
throwing the cards away that he didn’t like, since he didn’t think
they mattered... So he threw some energy cards and cheap ones
at me... But among the energy cards there was a weird formless
energy... Like squarish... But right after he threw the cards, be-
fore I even looked at what cards there were... The guy who I was
chasing who had become invisible skated over and grabbed it
really quick. And I’m like "What just happened?" and the oth-
er guy that was with the kid said "He probably came after the
something something ——" and I asked "It does that?" "yeah"
so I went and looked at what else I had found... And I had this
other card that would hopefully draw ——. Really convoluted
756
crazy type card. And then he showed up again and started com-
ing at me. He was using weird methods. He wasn’t supposed to
be invisible. You could see the air being disturbed where he was.
Make out his form... See a shimmering outline... But it was com-
pletely see through. And he would come zigzagging real fast and
then sometimes disappear completely. So several people started
helping me with this endeavor ... Twirl the card back and forth,
but this guy that I killed... Well I didn’t try to kill him, I kinda
Just ran over him very fast. It was like right after he got caught
by the guy. I rolled over to the edge of the driveway, came to an
abrupt stop, and then turned and rolled over the guy and was like
"AHH!" I mean I didn’t really try to prevent it. Even though he
just helped. I Didn't know he was trying to help me. I thought
maybe he was just playing the game too.
Leaving feedback for what I had been doing. Dammit I lost

it... Just comment... They don’t look bad. They might be ——.
Whoa. A lot these past few days.
I —— real world circumstances —— something very realistic

to vent it out —— (WHAT? VERY ILLEGIBLE HYPNA-
GOGIA)
Starting to finding out what the dots were... I started to become

—— about people... At the bottom of the sewer while I was
walking around with a stick in my hand... I don’t think I've been
talking for the past few minutes, huh... So that’s when I started
being infected by this strange woman in the sewer while look-
ing for these microdots in the sewer while holding this stick out
"RARARARARARA" prowling around.
Yeah I don’t know what this is... But "ILLEGIBLE ——" (fanta-
sy begin without sexual insight) and it shows a weird cover that’s
been randomly selected from...
Was there something out with wolves? or some kind of big ani-
mal like that... And me heading outside?
“THREE WOODEN KNIGHTS”*
03/02/2014 | 9:04 AM
I don't think I discussed that wooden thing... Stuff going on in
my yard. Those three wooden guys. There were two... They were
knights in my Londonberry backyard... And there were all those
murders and deaths going on, and that lady that died in the elec-
tric thing, and I just woke up while watching... This guy got stuck
inside the mirror reflector optical illusion, and they tried to get
him out, and they were all excited when they started stepping
out, when they got him free, but then the look on his face got re-
ally creepy and someone went "Oh shit what's going on now" so
I woke up...
Who was I hanging out with? That girl... Vicky? I don’t remem-
ber what her name was. My hair looked so black and kind of long
and it was all wet because... what was that thing that was happen-
ing to me? I walked in on something and my hair got really wet
and dirty as a result, so I had to go shower while all these peo-
ple were here for my sister, and I didn’t know they were here yet
and I went and walked in, and that sucked, because they were all
screaming about me and stuff. Not like bad screaming but "good"
screaming. And I went in the shower, and the entire time I was in
the shower (though I didn’t know this until I got out), when I ex-
ited, the girl who was there when I went in was still standing out
there, and she goes "Hey hey hey hey!" and she puts her hand on
my shoulders and starts walking my way, and I said "Wait, who
are you again?" and she goes "Rararablalaha" and starts saying the
name of another girl. I really don't know this girl's name, but she
was friends with some girl like Vicky... some girl she thought I
should know.
759
So we were walking around, and she was like "I was there during
this..." and then she asked me a question like "Hey... Did you get
a call from this? Or to do this at this party?" and I said "No."
and she started freaking out. And I asked "Does this have to do
with this message?" but I don’t think she heard me... So she had
a cigarette in her mouth... And I did too. I don’t know how mine
got lit, because I know I didn’t have my lighter... Must have lit
mine off hers and didn’t know it... I had a cool coat on... It was
this weird tan coat... I think it might have been a military coat...
Not that... But there was something similar about it. And I don’t
think I had any shirt underneath and my hair was really black an
piecy and kind of cool. I remember the first time I walked out of
the shower and went out and stood in the room where everyone
was—the girl that was standing there when I walked out went
"WHOAAAAAA" because of the way I looked.
I remember that time when I first went to use the bathroom

there were about three bathrooms on the upstairs floor... Wait,
what was that time Asia fell out of the chair in Londonberry,...
This was like the previous dream or something... With those
guys riding in the sky... And there were two electric guys and
one wooden guy, and I was told to protect what's mine, but I
wasn't watching the wooden guy, I was watching the electric guys
watching the wood guy... And at that amusement park place, that
woman had gotten killed , they said someone had just gotten
killed. And that’s when me and the not-Vicky girl were walk-
ing over to see something, and we were told "Another ones been
killed... Another casualty" and I went "WHAT" and it freaked
me out... She said it was an old lady. Apparently she was in some-
thing that didn't exactly kill her. Kind of... Kind of not. It could
have been attributed to old age... It was pretty freaky.
Then we walked into the place where the guy who got trapped
in the optical illusion mirror machine, and the look of horror on
his face... And then when they opened the gate... The thing be-
low his neck and freed his head from it, you could see his expres-
sion, he looked sooo happy... Very thankful. I remember look-
ing at him and thinking "wow, this is awesome... This has been a
great experience for him because he thought he was not only go-
ing to die, but in the worst way possible" and not necessarily be-
cause he would have, but because it seemed it was going that way
because he was paranoid after seeing things happening to oth-
ers... But then his face got all weird again. Clearly he wasn’t out
of the machine yet... Then I thought "what just happened...?did
something just happened that I missed?" and he looked horrified
again, so I woke myself up ‘cause I didn’t want to see anything
gross.like there was some remnant in him or he was still some-
how hooked up and it was about it to kill him as a measure of
security because it felt him tear free from the machine... So it
might have tripped something
I just remember after that whole thing with those knights fooling
around in my yard on horses... I remember falling from the air...
Trying to land on a horse, or something... Really bizarre, during
a lightning storm. And I remember sitting on a couch at the very
front of the back Londonberry yard by the deck, with my sis-
ter, and she fell forward off of the couch because the couch got
tipped, and she came so close to hitting her head on the cement...
Or the brick walkway... But not only that, but the bad corner
of it, where it turned into the garden... And wheN I saw her
go down I was like "Oh dammit... Are you okay?" and she said
"Yeaaaaah." "It looks like you almost hit that... But you didn't..."
"Oh no, I did hit it, but not much." but what happened after
that?I remember I tried to simulate it, or did it again to her, it
was strange. But I feel like I had two dreams... And now that I
woke up they are blending together. They were quite wild. I re-
member at one point in my dream talking to the horseman in
the backyard of Londonberry... I remember telling them about
it being a dream, as they flew around in the air. I remember that
girl who was walking with her arm around my back. I thought
"Oh geez... Not only is she touching me... But her hand is awfully
close to my neck" and it was making me tense... I figured I would
just go with it until it got worse... She was just so forward
though. All of these girls were pretty shameless. I remember
when I was doing something, I woke up, I got dirty accidentally,
went to shower, and that’s when I learned that some other girls
had arrived, so I tried to beat them...as in get in the shower and
get out before they came around... But when I got there I saw like
three sets of lingerie on the counter... And I thought "dammit...
I'm already late?" and they came in screaming. They weren't even
in the bathroom.they were just walking around with bathing
suits. At least I assume they're bathing suits because the patterns.
Like bikinis...
• I think that very morning someone was bothering me to apply for

some contest or clothing that that guy was holding at some little fair
going on by my house... They asked if I paid a hundred dollars to do
something and I said no, but I think I might have before the end
of the day... Like 80 dollars... But I think I might be talking non-
sense...
[...] (9:20 and 4th one)

“DOG-EAT-EYEBALL”
03/02/2014 | 12:27 PM
Okay, in the final scenes I was walking through that place where
there were these people... And I was caught in a celebrity place.
I Got Really pissed... Okay this was after that whole thing with
that girl... I was walking around with that girl, and she was doing
her exercises... She was doing a ritual. And she was on top of me
while she was doing it... And I was trying to do something so that
I could cover her from the rain. I tried to be her foundation and
cover her from above at the same time and it didn’t work and
we ended up wiping out... After that a guy ended up bumping
into... Wait... There was a dog... Dog got away. She was walking
through below the cabinets where the ovens are... Tokyo, that is.
Tokyo the dog. She was trying to eat something of mine... And I
took out my eyeball. An she kept trying to eat it, and I said "GET
AWAY" and I was fucking freaking out... Justifiably so... And she
goes off sulking after I kicked her and spun her around enough
times. Told her to get away from me... So she goes sulking over by
the oven. Then she flattens herself and starts disappearing slow-
ly underneath the cabinets, then I realized when I looked un-
der the cabinets that there was a hole in the wall that led to the
woods..."Shiiit." that’s when everyone else ran outside trying to
get her... There was also that weird rock climbing part... Where I
had to climb that thing... My father helped me with that... Hh...
That's when I made it through the floor, and the woman was
there on the phone,and she was like ... She had to verify that I
was who I said I was, she asked "What the hell is going on here?"
"I'm Tendon." I gave her the information, "I came through ——
forty-seven point something something hours. I came here for
this purpose because this person sent me. I returned to the floor
763
and I went down." You';re not supposed to return to this place af-
ter you drop from the place, so they had no idea what the fuck
was going on. It was a really small room really high in the ceiling
that had to access through the hole in the ceiling. It was scary be-
cause I not only had to climb an extremely rickety shelf thing...
Which was about 20 to 30 feet high... But my father had to push
on it, apply pressure to it, while I was on top of it, so that it didn’t
wobble... And so I'm on the top floor and I barely had a grip at
all... And I finally made it into the ceiling... And it was so small
and cramped... Like a dark dressing room. She was standing like
4 feet away from me... And asked "...what are you doing... You're
not allowed to be here." and seemed a little freaked out. There
was also a dark skinned man I was talking to. I'm not sure if it
was a fight or if it was fine or what... There was also that thing
where I drew a picture of stars... On blue paper with white stars
I drew all over it, and little lines about things I liked or want-
ed, then looked at it and thought "This looks so kiddish. What
the hell did I just do" and I put it down there. I drew some oth-
er things... So after the end after that whole I accidentally wiped
out those people in the middle of the hall... Yeah...at the end of
the dream we were walking through the dormitory. I was look-
ing for ... A bathroom? Possibly. And I accidentally walked in-
to the place where all the celebrities were staying. I walked into
one dorm and there was a British guy, and he had very accentu-
ated, strong features... He was dressed kind of dark and spooky
though, sitting at the front of the audience... We were in some
amphitheater thing... And we turned left and ended up in a dorm
room... And everyone started yelling at us, "Who are you guys
and what do you think you're doing here!?" then there was one
guy who was at the far end of the room... Also a celebrity....be-
cause celebrities were coming from all over the world to see the
performance... But this guy was being very silly, saying "LEEET
THEM!" in a very silly voice... And someone was also shining a

light on us. I remember lying there with that girl... What were we
doing... We were watching a kids TV show or something funny...
Just watching TV while leaning on these chairs, and she asked
some sort of question, like "Which ones that?"
Someone was asking a question like "Which one's that?" and

then I thought "wait... Which one is that?" and so we're trying to
figure out something about the character. And I don’t even know
if we were paying attention to the TV... And she said "Okay... it’s
your job to keep me filled in on what the hell is going on ‘cause
I can’t understand it." then there were extremely weird graphics
and I thought "whoa why did that happen"... It turned into a kid-
dy looking drawing and every person would be like all one col-
or and sloppy with lines... Like everything on someone would be
light blue... It was just really strange. And we just kept watching.
I think there was another guy not far away... But this girl and I
were sitting. We were kinda just talking. That’s what was funny
about it. We weren’t really paying attention to what we were say-
ing, or to what we were looking at or what was on TV, because
we were slowly becoming closer with one another... And it was
really interesting, ‘cause we were just talking nonsense, almost
like it was distracting... And our hands and bodies were becom-
ing more comfortable around each other and it ... Was... Fun? if
that’s the word. I remember us leaning on each other... And in
the beginning we were trying to still be discrete about it. So it
was funny how we were doing it. I’m not sure we kissed though.
But we were holding hands... And I remember sinking down so
low into the seat at one point. For a specific reason. Don’t know
why though. But then me and her and some other people got
up and went to see some kind of performance. On the way there
we visited some sort of weird religious shrine... And we had to
wait in line to get there... Or you could see it from the line...
But she got out and she was looking at it. I forget the premise
of it, but it was something she cared about. Something of her
origins... Like her nationality. So I got out and I put myself on
the ground, and I don’t know why I needed to do it, but I was
on the ground now, and I made myself into a table. I don’t re-
member what I did. I did something, and then she could kind of
get on top of me and do what she was doing. She needed a base
to be doing something... But that’s when the problem... Water
started spitting out from the walls, and I felt I caused that prob-
lem, and I thought "Oh No", and that’s when I tried covering her
too... And started trying to cover her too from the water by arch-
ing over her while she was performing... Ended up wiping out...
Ended up kicking one of the guys by the other table... He went
flying into another table... Wiped out... And crashed into some-
thing someone else had displayed. And he shouts "WHAT THE
HELL WAS THAT?" "Oh sorry that was me" and then I think
he retaliated by mocking one of my pictures. I just remember get-
ting upset and walking through the door with my mother... And
as I left I looked over to my little starry picture on the table and
I went "Screw it. They're terrible. I'm not even going to go back
and get them." and then left through the door.
There was that whole scene when I went after the dog. My sister
and my mom took one path... And my father and I went on a dif-
ferent one. They went straight to the woods. Me and my father
went on a roundabout way... We scaled this steep cliff... Climbed
it... Not sure how we did it... I think it was really roundabout...
Because they were heading behind... And we were trying to head
farther ahead to cut her off. I don’t feel like it was Tokyo. I don’t
know what dog it was. I don’t remember what happened but it
was very steep and very hard to travel. I don’t remember how we
got back, but we went through a very weird process of having to
be authorized by these people... To go through these... This really
weird place in the ceiling... Which brought us through the place

where that girl and guy was... And we had to go through these
different rooms after gaining authorized access... Then we went
through quickly... Dropped through the ceiling, and went down
into a gymnasium area... And I don’t know what happened, but I
realized I needed to go back up. It took a very long time to climb
this unstable fixture. I climbed over and over and over again to
try and get back where I was, but it was rocking... And also... It
wasn't going up perfectly against the wall and it needed to be. It
was tilted, and the top was so high that it wouldn't keep straight,
so the top was waving around a little bit, so what I needed to do
was have my father apply pressure so it stopped rocking around
and would stay directly beneath the hole... So I pushed open this
big square in the ceiling and I climbed up, it was so hard, and
right as I began climbing up I saw that woman was staring at me,
and I was afraid she would either push me down or call securi-
ty. Really not good to be doing this... Like illegal. That’s why she
verified all my information. First she asked me who I was... Then
she read my previous authorization report, and who let me in in
the first place, and she asked to verify it, and I said "Yes, that's
correct." I don’t remember why I took my eye out... But I was sit-
ting in the corner of the basement room, I think I took some-
thing else out too... I was trying to fix something so I took my
eye out and set it by my side, but then the dog came over and I
said "GET HER AWAY. GET HER AWAY NOW" people tried
to push away but she kept coming back, sometimes running, so
I was yelling and kicking her while trying to do something while
trying to keep my eye from being taken away or eaten... And I
just remember seeing my reflection, and I was just squinting in a
really weird way, and it was just a black hole in my face.
“DO NOT CALL ME DUDE”
03/03/2014 | 4:33 AM
I remember something about Nanny and Poppop. I remember at
the very end of the dream someone kept calling some guy dude...
OKay... There was a bee... But someone was staring at my oat-
meal. There were people fighting. He was going "What's that
sound?" and they were staring at my bag of oatmeal, and there
was the sound of fighting, and the other guy said "They're still go-
ing on with that thing... The gatz." and he's like "WHAT? They're
still doing that? Dude! Dude!" and the other guy gripped on-
to his shirt collar and said "Do NOT call me dude." They were
just staring at my oatmeal bag while sitting on the kitchen floor,
apparently there was a battle going on in there. And then there
was something I sold for blood... Weird blood sale online, and I
got pissed ‘cause they made the purchase but never paid yet. I re-
member going "What? Four bids? And they paid with blood?"
The most significant part of the dream was the bee. I just came
in from walking outside. I was sitting there with Nanny, Poppop,
my parents, and me and Asia were trying to do something, and
she opened the door, and two bees came in,and they both came
over to me and started orbiting around me. And I just remember
they... One of them kept flying in circles around me but one of
them landed on me. And I remember that vibrating feeling, and
that feeling of their legs, it was making me like "aaaaoaooaoaoah"
it was so weird to me. I just remember sitting there and everyone
was going "What's going?" and I'm making these weird orgasmic
noises... And then I remember it was walking down my arm, and
wham, stings me. It gets completely stuck in my arm, and I'm
Like "awww, noooooooo." and I’m trying to remember what hap-
pened ‘cause it was a very emotional part. All I know I was just
768
sitting there... After a while I tried to take it out, but it wouldn't

come out, but I was afraid to touch it, and I forget what hap-
pened, but I went outside and tried to trick it so that it would
let go of me... And it kept moving along my skin but wasn’t let-
ting go. I think I was also wearing costumes at some point in this
dream. I don’t remember what Jamie was doing but he was in it
for a while at some point. I wish I remembered more about the
bee... There was more to it... And it was very very emotional.
I know that there was something going on... All my family were
in the basement... Uncle Jamie was explaining something about...
I don’t remember exactly. And Asia and I were doing something
strange... We were going around collecting things outside. And
then I just know that at one point I was being confronted by
someone. And then two bees approached. One was bigger than
the other. I think the little one was the one that orbited me. And
I was smiling so wide... And kinda smuggly... Because they came
in and immediately took to me... And everyone was watching. I
feel like the bee might have landed on my neck at first, on the
nape, and I thought "Oh geez"... Before going to my arm. It went
through my shirt and went down to my arm. I don't know if it
stung me or not, but it started burrowing into my skin and I tried
to get it out... But every time I tried to grab hold of it and try
to pull it out, I'm pretty sure it would start shaking and making
noise, so I didn’t want to hurt it and stopped. She... Wait... Who’s
she... What am I talking about... OKay, so I was standing out-
side... On New Jersey property... On the sidewalk... And I was
getting really emotional... And I felt really embarrassed because
I was trying to take it off my skin, but it was burrowing into me
and causing problems. I think I eventually got it off but it was
there for a long time and it was very very difficult to get off.
“WEIRD POWER”
03/05/2014 | 2:29 PM
I was at a cafeteria, or just a room with all these tables. Some ta-
bles with girls and some with guys. Daniel and Isaac were there.
I moved to this one table. There was something about me and
Isaac going to the movies. But then I remember asking him later
if he enjoyed it. I felt like there was some kind of weird power.
Mike was there. I believe I caused a scene. I pulled up a chair and

got the chair ready. But then Mike came down and sat in that
chair. And it was the one that was gonna be at the end of the
table. So it got pissed off, because now I didn’t have a place to sit.
There was a speech or something. Im not sure on the details,but
I did something in this place that had everyone kind of freaked
out or giving a weird look.
There was this part with me putting on one of those big noisy
kind of coats like the one my dad owns. Big and black. But I put
the coat on backwards. Not inside out, but actually backwards.
And then I put on these shoes that were spiky on the bottom,
and then I danced on top of someone I hated. I just kept danc-
ing. I think there was a lot more to do with that but I'm not sure,
and I felt like there is a lot that happened in a theater with Isaac.
Ugh, bad recall.
770
“PROUD SLEEPER”
03/05/2014 | 10:34 PM
To wake up and find out or be told that I had slept... without los-
ing, or while asking or needing or holding on to some other per-
son. What I would do is I'd wake up in the middle of the night
and be so happy. I would be so proud if they told me I held on to
the person I cared for all night while I slept. I would be so proud
that, what I’d do is, I’d fall asleep thinking about it, and therefore
I’d dream about it. I don’t know.
771
“PRIVACY BREACH”
03/06/2014 | 4:40 AM
My mother walked into my room and just sat down near where
my refrigerator is, but there was a dresser. So we were just talking.
We were talking about friends—just the idea of friends. And I re-
member when I brought up the topic of Rocky and other people
she just looked down and started shaking her head, saying "That
still doesn't make sense to me." She said other things I don’t re-
member. Something about some live concert DVDs that some-
one purchased
As we were talking about friends I kept telling her that I don’t

lack confidence at all, and I kept saying the problem for me is
that... I forget exactly what it was, but it was one of my real
problems concerning my desire and/or ability to hang out with
friends. The first time I said it I got interrupted because she was
gazing around at my room, and I said "Don’t look around!" And
then she gazed more and I said "Don’t look around!" And then
she kept doing it and I had to yell "Stop it!” And it caused prob-
lems because she was provoking me. We were just talking in my
room for a while.
At the end I woke up in my bed and looked at the clock, waking

up to “Dr. Dreviniya” by Susumu Hirasawa, and I saw that it was
8:18 on the clock and I went “What?! How did I oversleep by
three hours?!” and I got really upset, and I tried to imagine how
I could have possibly overslept that much.
• Go away...!
Go away!
772
Wait, what’s my door to open?
Oh, what the fuck?
Oh, what the fuck?
Dammit, I thought I was upstairs in the kitchen.
Ugh! I was walking over to my basement door and the dog was
standing there. She was following me around and I hated the fact
that she couldn’t decide where to go until she saw where I was going.
So I thought I started yelling ‘go away’ at her. Dammit!
“PREHISTORIC SNOWFLAKE”
03/06/2014 | 11:57 AM
There was the part about cigarettes. Then they asked "What does
that taste like?" "I don’t know. I'm a vegetarian.” Then the oth-
er guy burst out laughing. And the guy who gave it to me was
the guy who was always a jerk to me. Then there was also that
table I was walking around, looking at those things, like prehis-
toric snowflakes and cruise passport ID. All these weird names
for food items, and I was looking at them as the guy was set-
ting them up on the table. I stood around, and everyone who
was with this person when they went back with this person when
they went back to work in the shop were advised to go away be-
cause when the manager came out of the store, anybody who
was possibly near the person that was our friend who worked
there, he would come out in his pre-designed path, he would
never leave the front of the building, and never do anything out
of the ordinary, it was a pattern, but if you were there he would
probably start talking to you, and grab your attention somehow
and get you to come in and start helping with naming things,
or something. So I remember this one part I ducked over by the
nextdoor table until he came out for my friend. And I remember
the lady who was setting up the table at the other restaurant, she
worked there, she smiled a little bit when she saw me because I
was ducking down.
I smoked that strange cigarette. Someone had asked me for a cig-

arette, and I handed them one, but it was badly bent, and as I
noticed it I said, "Whoa, sorry about that, I’ll get you another
one,” and then I grabbed another one and thought "Wait they're
all like this," and then looked at the box and went "Oh geez..."
774
then "Ohhh, they’re supposed to be like this. They're a specific

kind of cigarette." Little bindles, or bundles, or something. They
were wrapped in something, but they were the size of a regular
cigarette, and the guy was chanting "Light it! Light it!" So I lit it
and everyone was standing around watching me, including that
really tall guy who burst out laughing. There when he asks "How
does it taste?" "I don’t know, I'm a vegetarian.”
There were seven or eight people watching me, and that young,
blonde guy in the back, a really tall Russian guy, he bursts out
laughing, "BHAHAHAAHAHAHA WHAT DOES THAT
MEAN?" in a thick accent and he kept going on and on "When
I'm your age, I hope that I can do something something some-
thing too" and he was being just silly... And he's like "My parents.
Something, something, something this." and then I don’t know
what they asked me, but I said "I'm only twenty-four," and he
goes "WHAT?" and starts talking about his parents’ age. I don’t
know if he was trying to say if I was as old as his parents age
or what... But it didn’t make any sense ‘cause he was huge... He
was totally an adult. About my age, I would imagine... Then ...
Where did we just come back from... We were checking around
the mall... After the cigarette part. And now we're taking this per-
son back to work but we didn’t want to go inside ‘cause of the
manager... Everyone else went inside but I stayed outside duck-
ing. This was a crazy fucking dream. Yeah when he came out he
was talking to the friend "Yeahhh, help me name some of this
stuff ?" and when I was out he came out setting the tables re-
al quick. I don’t know why he had such a weird path, but he
could only touch things that were touching the door or some-
thing... But if he grabbed you he would talk forever... It was a
dark weird restaurant... It was bizarre. I was walking around with
some friends just through this very dark mall I don’t remem-
ber what we were doing but we went to several stops. Just talk-
ing. And I remember sitting in this one place with one guy who
was kind of sheepish... There was something really dark about
this place. It just felt like a fortune teller house or something...
It was dark... There were back rooms. Every time I felt some-
one I felt somewhat belittled, or that they were looking weird
at me. Everyone I met was a little creepy. Not creepy but cool.
But too cool. Lajos made an appearance at one point, but I can’t
remember the context. The guy that asked to bum my cigarette
was around for a while before the cigarette part... He had dark
short hair, kind of messy, and he would get a look in his eye when
he saw you then just come up and taunt you. He would ask you
to do things... Kind of like playing mercy or uncle. But usually I
went along with him because I didn’t see a big problem with it...
staring into the windows...? I was in this place twice. Once in the
earlier part of the dream too. I smoked a second one of those cig-
arettes before leaving. I lit it right at the end before leaving then
threw it on the floor after about ten seconds. Was my dad in it? I
don’t know. Was I telling people I was adopted? I feel like there
was a girl who was telling me about their history, and I thought
they lived such a dark life. Or someone. I don’t remember what
I said. I feel like there was also a problem with my neck at one
point. What was it though?
I remember talking to some older ladies... and there was that

bathroom... There was that bathroom stall filled with people...
Okay... And jeff ? was it jeff ? he collected mermaid figurines. I
said "You like... Mermaids?" "Yeah until I was fourteen. I always
thought it was a cool collection." I remember looking at them
they were just so weird. One had breasts that were like shooting
water into a little dish. A bit creepy. He had shelves filled with
them. And there was something to do with the fact that there
was me... There were like 6 or 7 people standing around talking
to him... Like he was supposed to be famous. I’m pretty sure
that he turned into some other guy eventually. A popular gui-

tarist. I forget what happened but... There was something I didn’t
do... And I didn’t annoy him like they were doing. And I made a
joke... It was stupid... But he thought it was funny... And he was
cracking up... So he was just really blunt "Okay, you two come
here" so he called me and another guy from the group to just
hang out with him privately. And everyone else went "WHAT?"
and they tried to follow him but he shut them out... I don't know
who the other guy was... Younger than me. Or a little small-
er anyway. So we're all just hanging out and talking. Later on I
had to use the bathroom. I had such a stomach ache and went
"Mannn I need to get to the bathroom" but the door for the bath-
room was right next to where we were sitting and I was uncom-
fortable knowing that they could listen in. And so...and right
when I went over to open the door, a lady or someone came
out of it, and I’m like "aaooeogaeogaeOkay!" and I was told that
there was another bathroom if I would rather use that instead...
At the other end of the room. Like if you go there there is a door.
But then I walked in and it was like a huge mall bathroom. And I
went walking through it. I needed to go... I’m looking for a stall.
The stalls were designated for certain age ranges... And mine was
like a wide one... Like 18 to 25... Maybe not that... That’s not
that wide. Ithink it encompassed all of highschool, so I thought
dammit. So I went over there, and as I got close and started to
walk near to the stall, I heard voices, and I looked and found out
there’s a kid there... No...SEVERAL kids,and I could see them
all standing on something on the inside because I can see their
heads poking up over the stall. Somehow. And everyone in this
bathroom is alerted to this fact. And they looked at me and saw
the moment when I realized it. But something wasn’t right there.
They were just laughing an giggling. 10 or 15 people. Girls and
guys. Don’t know WHAT they were doing. And I thought "I am
NOT going in there" and I think that’s when I met someone...as

I was leaving the room... Which might have been when the cig-
arette thing happened... When he asked me... I remember think-
ing "That’s weird, I Don't remember buying these.” They looked
like they were all broken in the end in a weird way... Stringy like...
Like pulled pork on the tips. Which is kind of what tobacco
looks like anyway I guess... But they were bent... So yeah, I was
talking to that guy... But who were the older women? where did
I meet them? kind of like the woman who used to work at the
gas station... Some nice old women... But then there was a nice
young woman too. What's her deal... So yeah I was sitting in a
tight dorm space with Jeff... He was Jeff when talking about mer-
maids but the guitarist at all other times. I was trying to give
a good impression, but it was weird. There was a thing he kept
talking about, but I don’t remember what it was. I felt really self-
conscious, but he kept going out of his way to show us that it’s all
good, but I still felt a bit weird.
As for that whole prehistoric snowflake thing: it was just some

kind of dish. A white treat of sorts. It was a little starry. I don’t re-
member, but it was really strange shaped at the end. It had a tail,
like a shooting star, but not quite. Like, you know those snowball
snacks? there was that, then there was another thing that said
some boat passed... I don’t know why they called it that. It was a
square... Looked like a card... But it was food... Rectangle... There
was so much to this dream that I can’t possibly explain it.
I do remember something about Colleen. Maybe not her, but it

looked like her. Maybe that’s what I meant by older women—my
mother’s age. She was talking about her son, I think, and I re-
member she had a weird scar somewhere. She was telling me
some stuff that I remember thinking "Why is she telling me
this?" But it was because I was the same age as her son, and she
was trying to figure out what he could be thinking. That was re-
ally early on in the dream and I forget the circumstance.
“THE GIANTS ARE HUNGRY”
03/06/2014 | 11:34 PM
Something about my dog possibly not eating enough fiber? Not
eating enough songs because I was not playing as much, so there-
fore she wasn't going to the bathroom as much, and we were in
this weird environment where... What was being said... It was be-
ing said that t... There were all these things we were finding. Re-
ally early on I was meeting with these people... Girls were get-
ting mad at me. Okay I’m picturing myself in a church-like place.
It was kind of haunted. We met outside, standing outside, and
all these haunted things going on. I remember someone getting
pissed off ‘cause I messed something up. What did I do... I re-
member this nasty scene where I was covering my eyes because
there was this really bad scene with a neck going on... And my
mother kept saying "It’s not bad. It's not showing anything that
would actually happen to you or you would expect would hap-
pen to you" and I said "It’s not all about what can happen to
me in a normal everyday environment. It’s the thought. It’s what
has me thinking" and she goes "It’s just this." "Don’t EVEN SAY
THAT. That's as horrible as it gets, so don’t try to convince me to
look at it" and she was being very insensitive. Yeah my sister was
borrowing a bunch of books. She had a bunch of them. She was
sick and sitting beneath a blanket when I walked in..., I walked
in the room and there was just a blanket on the floor. She was sit-
ting so it was sitting up and I went "How are you doing? '' and
my mom was at the other end of the room, and Asia answered
in some way... And I said "So... You mean you're fine in your spir-
its but not physically" and she said "pretty much yeah." There
was something supernatural going on in the beginning. Wish I
could remember that part. I was doing something supernatural. I
780
was like... I wasn't flying or anything. Might have had to do with

bees... Yeah something to do with something like that. This one
girl was trying to get me in trouble. I can’t even remember the
environment.
I was sitting in a place by a rail and these people kept coming by,
going past. I was sitting in a chair, and this girl approached me.
She thought I was going to take something of hers. She had red
hair, and she was really afraid. I played a trick on her. I made her
think I was about to do something.
That was a creepy house. There were rooms filled with creepy su-
pernatural things. Like a room just filled with dead people that
were... I don’t even know. It was wild though. I just remember
that I got picked up by these giants, and I was very small in com-
parison. But it wasn’t even me. They were using these things for
food. And there was a field filled with these little shell guys. And
they were picking them up going "Hm, how about this one?"
they were just using whatever they could find. And they picked
one up—the one that was supposed to be me—and said "Eh, that
one’s bent! I'm not eating that one,” so I think the other guy tried
to unbend it. They were these freaky giants. Not humanoid at all.
I don’t remember what was going on. There was something hav-
ing to do with royalty, like the papacy. The pope might have been
walking around, and I think I got in trouble because of the way I
spoke to a clergyman or something. But I think at one point I al-
so helped out someone like that. Okay there was this scene with
me walking through the street... What was that...
In the beginning of the haunted place. Riding around outside

on this weird hayride, and there were weird things stuffed into
the hull of a giant tree... What happened on my walk... Did I
start walking with someone but eventually get separated from
them? I think so. I don’t even remember the environment, so I

have no idea where I went. Oh wait... It was that place at the
end where I think I got lost... Okay, at the end I was... We were
—— Jumbo John? —— I was taking someone home at night.
Not John... Who was it? Oh no. I WAS FOLLOWING SOME-
ONE. Someone who I was close with, but they turned into a dog
and ran off... Yet I didn’t feel like going after them all the way.
I followed them to their house but didn’t want to follow them
into their yard. They ran into the back and sat in the back of
the yard with glowing eyes like a dog... Because they were a dog.
So it was really annoying finding the location. I think I carried
them back home, not sure. Not sure if I followed them or car-
ried them. But on the way back I remember someone's comment.
It was really hard to find my way home because it was dark, af-
ter midnight, and I remember some of the comments like "That’s
the stupidest direction I've ever heard of in my life. Who bases a
road off of the fact there is a Subway (fast food) chain nearby..."
and then I saw a subway on a road sign, pointing to the right, and
went "Oh okay this is the right road" this is where the blind peo-
ple were walking through. There was a little bridge and I went
to start crossing it. Very small, five feet... Just a little thing of wa-
ter... And these old people started crossing it, getting lippy with
me, and the old lady said "Something something for blind folk...
Something something move out of my way" They were blind. So
I tried to move out of the way ‘cause there wasn't much space to
move to, so I stood in a really weird position on the side. I tried
not to get in the way, but they still brushed against me as they
walked by, and I think the two guys that were ushering/guarding
them were just standing there talking to me or doing something
weird. Ithink they got separated from each other, and those guys
forgot what they were doing there entirely... What their purpose
was... Stupid guys. I forget what happened but... Blind people
walking around. I was trying to get back to where I was before...

What happened to the redhead girl? We were all watching some
kind of performance. Not a theater. Just a weird room... With
creepy stuff going on. And I faked her out... And no one was in
any mood to play around... And I totally freaked her out. I re-
member her looking at me because... Wait I also remember a part
where I was sitting on the floor with all those people and doing
something. I think I remember Asia's friends who all liked me
being there... All these girls thought I was really cool, but then I
did something that really freaked them out or grossed them out
and changed their opinions possibly. I just remember there was
one room I went into and there were a couple guys standing in
it... There was a tough guy... Not buff tough...but just tan skin
and like a bully-ish greaser. But I was in that room, and those
guys were formal, really well put together, and the walls were just
white, and I don’t know what they were talking about... But it
was a bunch of secrets. Felt like a freaky secret society. Like a cult.
——shelled acorn creatures picked up by giants, laid out onto a
palm, and selected if they would be eaten, then dropped into a
box... It was a creepy yard in front of an expensive freaky man-
sion... Also dystopian. I think I might have tried (or succeeded)
escaping the mansion at one point.
I remember when Asking Asia ... I saw her in the blanket and
talked about the new books she bought, I said "Oooh this one
sounds something" I think I may have bought or sold some... Or
something... An when I asked her to describe how she was feel-
ing, I was actually describing myself, because no one knew I was
sick... So I don’t know how I got that way but something made
me sick. That neck scene was REALLY bad. I'm really surprised
I did not wake up there... Like a big red gash across someone's
neck, so I’m really surprised. I was looking away, but I could still
see it, though I was actually looking away... You know, because it’s
a dream. And I kept asking my mom if It was okay to look now

and she would go "Yeah! It's just this" and I go "What do you
mean it’s JUST this?!? That's not okay at all!" There were just all
these people that were royal kind of. Not king and queen. Like I
said, papal. They were just walking around all slow and religious-
ly... It was weird. And they hated me or something... Or were up-
set... Because I was in total defiance to their standards. I remem-
ber when that redhead girl approached me later on... As soon as
everyone dispersed from their seating. I was sitting on the floor.
In front of all the chairs while everyone else was... I don’t know.
That’s right after I did something to disturb all the girls or gross
them out... I wish I remembered that scene. Might not have been
gross. But yeah I made a little gesture at the redhead girl when
they said something... Leading her to believe that I had some-
thing or was taking away some opportunity from her. It was a
code that only she would know. So I was trying to freak her out,
knowing she was up to a certain scheme... But I’m pretty sure it
was a bluff... And she came over and tried to get it out of me. And
I don’t know what the deal was with that guy turning into a dog.
Wish I could remember who it was.
“SCALING THE MANSIONS”
03/07/2014 | 5:40 AM
There was that thing with... My mother and I were on the out-
side of this building. Like scaling the side of a building. Really
rich property in the daytime. I forget what was happening, but
she didn’t know I heard her, and she was going on and on about
some actress. There were posters on the side of the house, since
it was like a theater too... I don’t remember her name, but I re-
member thinking I was going to use a different name than a re-
al name when I wrote it down. But she made some stupid com-
ments like ... About blood? ‘Cause I asked her a question and
she would answer "ahh... Some something... It’s because she has
a bloody leg and so she can't" and then I said "What? I didn't
hear you" and then she would say something COMPLETELY
DIFFERENT, and then I would ask again, and eventually I said
"WHAT are you talking about? That doesn't make sense" she
changed her story every time... "You were listening?" "YES, I was
listening the whole time" at the end it was getting more and more
ridiculous and nonsensical. Like anti-british remarks that came
out of nowhere and made no sense.
785
“THE HUMAN TRUTH TABLET”
03/08/2014 | 4:28 AM
Ah, there was a thing called ‘The Human Truth Tablet’. There
were two different tablets, none of which I was using for myself,
but I had seen something about them. One of them was kind
of shiny and silvery on the surface. I don’t know what they
were...but they were supposed to be excellent for testing the rela-
tions of... I don’t know. There was also something to do with my
boasting/confidence. ... I was talking with someone for a while...
In a diner of sorts... Negotiating with them.
I can’t figure out for the life of me what it was all about... But I
just remember there was a girl's name... I think it was a name...
That I kept looking at ... And it kept provoking bad reactions in
me... And I kept trying to figure out what to do with it... Figure
something out... I’m pretty sure it was something that I was try-
ing to... Get rid of it? I don’t know. I remember walking around
late at night, somewhere outside... I’m not sure if there were any
animals or not. I feel like there was something kind of surpris-
ing... Like a really bizarre but small animal that showed up. But I
don’t even know what that means... Bad recall.
786
“SYMBOLIC DISH”
03/08/2014 | 7:41 AM
There was that guy ... The chair and table flipped over acciden-
tally. And there was the part where my finger kept accidentally
getting stuck in someone's shirt... Then there was that girl...that
weird pornography that someone was watching. But it wasn’t
supposed to be porn... It was like a popular music video, so they
were trying not to show anything graphic. And then there was
that kid who went walking into the room where the girl was in
there playing guitar and didn’t know there was another girl in
that room who lived there whose guitar she was playing. Don’t
know what the deal was. I think she was cool, not sure. These
are all likes... I forget what happened, but they showed up one
day. They heard something about us, or someone said something
about us, and they showed up, just like that... And it was very
confusing. And I was just standing there, saying "Well... Hey!"
Bunch of weird people though. I remember the guy came over at
the end... He was a HUGE guy... A little scruffy and probably a
few years older than me. And he goes 'Hey" all terse and raspy.
Very tall. He was standing there and was walking into the house
right when I was about to walk out... He says hey... And I’m
looking at him... And I’m not saying anything, and he goes "do
you remember me? I'm grandma." and I said "Yeah...mhm." qui-
etly to myself and he said "I don't know why in the world you
said yeah, because I didn’t actually mean to say that..." he messed
up, and then corrected me. We were cooking something togeth-
er. He was cooking potatoes and... Rice? It was something other
than rice... He was cooking it based on something that his par-
ents had done when he was little. Or something that his uncle
was known for... ‘Cause he was known for doing something with
787
both those ingredients that was really "revolutionary", and so I’m

just standing there trying to make conversation and ask "So is
this what you see yourself doing? Taking up cooking?" "Aahhh,
I just do this sometimes for the hell of it. This is this, and I
thought I'd do it now." and so he's talking about the dish, and
I’d go "A symbolic dish." and a second after I said symbolic he
said "Well... You know... it’s" then paused, when I said symbolic,
and he said "Practical"... But then I said "well... it’s symbolic too."
While he was asking me what I knew about his family... I didn’t
know at first, and he was starting to tell me about the ... Onions...
When he started started telling stories I suddenly remembered
who they were... But he had me taste... I thought the dishes look
good so I was watching them, so he said "Try these onions" and I
thought they looked minced up enough so I didn’t say anything
and I thought I could give them a shot... So I tried to reach up
to grab one and my hand got stuck in my sleeve, and he saw it
and said ‘whoa’. and I couldn’t put my hand out of it. My fin-
gers were like immobilized and it was really funny... I said "Yeah...
That happens all the time" ‘cause the strings are coming undone
in it... The threads... So when I was pulling my hand out it got
stuck/caught... So when I finally got it unstuck and tried to get
it out again, I got stuck in another thread... So I don’t even re-
member ever tasting it. I Just remember the table in front of us.
It went doing some crazy flip... Like three flips forward... It was
partially believable but partially just ridiculous... And I thought
"whoaa..." and he goes "WHOA" and I thought "That was really
amazing" and he goes "what just happened!?" it was kind of like
an end table... Like the one near our real couch in our real liv-
ing room. I don't remember what I did... I kicked it or pushed
it accidentally while standing there... It didn’t have anything on
it... Then I heard him humming a song... And I thought "I know
that song... I heard that last night when I was falling asleep here"
‘cause I was listening to a pop radio station while falling asleep.

Had never heard these songs before. A Lot of weird dance music.
And I thought it wasn’t bad. So he was humming it, and I said I
had heard it while falling asleep, and he suddenly pulled up the
video... Or made allusions to the video... But it was like porno-
graphic... And I was able to see it in my mind so I’m kind of con-
fused about how I was watching it... He was just rewinding it try-
ing to make sure I saw one of the girls in the video, he kept rating
them as we went, "She's good... She's good... She's the best!" and
I felt weird because one of the girls there walked by behind us
while we were standing there. Wait.../ the woman who was sup-
posed to be their mother... Acted really young, and I remember
commenting saying "She acts like she's my age." She came in to
kiss me at one point....she looked like my age. Indian or middle
eastern or something. Tan... That's all I know... I remember when
she showed up... With several other people/ they were all sitting
in the living room when I walked in... And I remember saying to
her "I'm sorry for my appearance. I know it's pretty ridiculous.
And it’s not even the cool, organized messiness of a mad scien-
tist. It’s just the ridiculous, realistic mess of unappealing, unat-
tractive grease." or something like that, and it was a really fun-
ny comment and no one said anything. It was just like flipping
up on one side and greasy because I hadn’t showered in a while...
And I was showing up and there were people sitting all over the
floor... And I remember walking in there... They were all sitting.
My parents were sitting there somewhere too.it was just weird,
they were all smiling... They said my name came up in conversa-
tion, so they decided to surprise us and show up... They weren’t
real cousins and no one I know in real life, so I’m not sure what
happened... This goes on longer... Come back and finish tran-
scribing later.
“SALTY FOOD”
03/09/2014 | 7:16 AM
I was out to eat, and they were talking about salt... Because there
were two things on the menu with salt. And one had a lot of it
and it was made for a person like a "dreamer", and the other had
little salt and was made for someone who wasn't a dreamer. And
my dad ordered something, the other guy said "I can’t believe you
just ordered that." You use this this this this and you must have
trusted what people said about this. (Is that what I said?)
Okay I was out to dinner with some people. I don’t know... I Was
sitting at a table... I don’t know... What was that... Man, I slept
for like 5 hours... What the hell... Six hours... Seven hours!
I remember sitting at the table with some people in public... Not

sure who they were. There were several things with food. I think
there was a part where I had become a little bit heavier... Or... I
looked older...Something. I looked different. Like about five, ten
years. Not fat or anything... Just "healthier", if you will.
790
“DECAPITATOR”
03/10/2014 | 6:00 AM
"The Audience Cannot Win" Triplets Playing on guitar, like
speed metal from the 80’s... That's when I saw all the heads, hun-
dreds of heads, suddenly rolling down the hill of the street...
The street curved down... He was decapitating people, then he
came over the hill and came after me. So I’m racing down the
street as fast as could be. I was doing something weird, so I was
rolling, not just running... So I was kinda moving like I could
have been on a skateboard. It was terrible. I was talking to those
guys in front of that medical/police station that I appeared in af-
ter transferring from really far away. I forget how I got to this
one. I'm not sure. I appeared here. It was a small area. THere was
that little stage. Guys just sitting around. They were all busy. I
walked up to them and sat there for a while, and I was telling
someone my story while sitting down on the step. All of the oth-
er guys were standing behind, and I said ``Did you guys over-
hear that?" "Yeah we heard that." "Did you get the details?" "Most
of them" then they went walking over... But it took about 15-20
minutes of me telling what was going on. I never thought the guy
would catch up this fast... I merely thought I was going to get
help.
It started when I was in the church sanctuary... Or first I was

at the Bab's. It might have all happened in a church pew. And
there was a girl who brought me a figure or something weird...
Something from Jungle Book? I remember something about Ja-
cob. That's when it started. I was walking out of church, and said
"Hey!" and he said he had to leave, and I said "That's alright, I
just wanted to say hey since I hadn't seen you in a while." Then
791
that funny black guy was walking by right when I was walking
out... He said something and then I said something extra funny,
but I forget. A funny, weird comment. Something you usually
don’t just say to people you're passing by that you don’t know...
But it was like a joke... Then I kept walking through the parking
lot. Saw Jacob leaving. Saw his brother... Then I walked over to
the right end of the parking lot in back of the building. I don’t
know how it happened. I Went over there and saw some guy at-
tacking someone... And there was a bathroom scene later on...
He had a big knife or something, and he was chasing the oth-
er guy but I was over there too... And he saw what I saw, so he
started chasing after me. There was a weird thing on the ground,
forget what it was... A dish or cup filled with alcohol... I kicked
it up so it splashed in his face... Got in his eyes, and something
else smacked him because of it and it knocked him out for a lit-
tle... Then I ran into the building as fast as I could... I ran in-
side and told people... "I Saw who it was... I saw who it is" I told
my mom "There's this guy out there..." I was really freaked out...
My parents and the babs were still inside... Half the girls sitting
in the pew with me were like "Oh no"... It was a fun dream be-
fore... Because there were just tons of girls sitting having fun with
me and bringing me stuff... Now one of them was sleeping... One
of them was silly... I didn’t know where they were all disappear-
ing to. I remember telling my mom... And talking about the al-
cohol thing, "I don’t know if he's the kind of person to come in
here when there's tons of people present.” Next thing I know I
was walking down the main hallway at church... Don’t remem-
ber how...but I ended up in the bathroom. It got really strange.
It got locked or something and ended up looking like a space-
ship. Was that even really the bathroom? Am I confusing two
scenes together? I’m thinking of one where I was standing with
this guy... The guy was like a burn victim kind of... Not like a se-
vere, horror movie burn victim, but like a realistic one... Didn’t
lose everything but shows that sort of glossiness. He was fighting
with us in the bathroom. Wasn't Isaac in the really earlier begin-
ning? Then at the end when those triplets are going... And he's
racing after me... And there are hundreds of heads... Every time
someone came walking or driving by he would cut them up... So
he was just decapitating whoever came over the hill... It was a
creepy dream. My mother was acting weird "I need proof to un-
derstand what you're talking about ''. There was that weird space
station thing that I was in.
Why was Isaac mad at me? It might have been a different dream
or the very beginning. I remember the bathroom spaceship
thing. There was a weird chamber, and a lock. And I just re-
member me and one other guy who were fighting with this guy.
That seems to be the problem, because I saw the original murder.
That's why he was after me. I don't know. But then the other guy
was trying to restrain him. There were like two different doors.
An inner door, and it was getting sealed up. And the other guy
wrangled him in there, and he took him down, and it was like
a weird antigravity chamber. Not floating or anything, but there
was some weird pressure. It was like something in a space station.
When you're preparing to go out into space. I think it was a bath-
room though. I remember trying to get this other guy to be able
to escape with me. “Come on out... come on out" "I'm still get-
ting him under control, you go" and the door was realllly hard
to open. Not like a normal door anymore but I had to pry really
hard and use some sort of combination code. "Do you want me
to leave the door open for you?" "don’t do that" he didn’t want
the other guy to escape... This room had been traveling on the
back of a vehicle... Like a trailer or something... It was like a rock-
et on the back of a trailer. So I jumped out at a random part and
the bathroom just kept going down the street... So I didn’t have
to worry about being stranded... And I found a stand of officers

sitting on the street. I was just frantic and they were all staring
at me... And I was trying to get their attention but I wasn’t real-
ly saying much with my words. Just no matter where I went... I
was always giving a short while thinking I had made it far enough
away from him so I could get help, but he would always reap-
pear... Even if after ten minutes... "How did he find this place
too!?!" First I told the people at church and they started slow-
ly getting involved. I remember some of the fathers there were
concerned about going around... So I had alerted everyone in the
sanctuary, and some of them left the building to look. I didn’t
tell all the sanctuary ‘cause I didn’t want everyone to be freaked
out. I still remember telling the officers... Well I was telling that
one guy the story... wasn’t telling the officers face to face... I was
telling a guy who just happened to be there also and the officers
behind heard us... And I remember bragging about the alcohol,
how I kicked the plate and it hit his head...kept bragging.
It was actually a really peaceful dream for a while... Before this

I was just laying in a pew... The one that was farthest back...
Wrapped in blankets. Less like a church and more like hanging
out with a small handful of girls. They each had different per-
sonalities and different things they did... I was completely buried
in the blanket... Then they called me up and so I came and sat
with them... Then that one girl gave me a weird black panther or
black cat figurine. She just walked up and handed it to me... Say-
ing it was her favorite little thing... Just a statue. So we were all
just laughing and talking... So I really don’t know how this dream
turned worse. I ran allll over town. Every time I thought I was
far enough his evil face showed up again. The cops had just gone
over the hill, so they were the heads I saw decapitated rolling
over the hill first... The cops decapitated first... Then civilians at
random... Then I saw him walk over... Then he saw me... Then I
started taking off running and thought "I can't win. I can't possi-
bly win. I gotta wake up. Can't possibly win." So I started trying
to rip my eyes open. Can't believe I was able to rip them open so
fast. It’s funny how it was instinctual for me to just wake myself
up.
“QUARREL”
03/10/2014 | 6:49 PM
Really funny marshmallow joke. Was it marshmallow? But I’m
like "it's been two minutes and you're already putting this much
pressure on my butt!" and the second guy started cracking up.
The first guy is just... They got in a huge squabble right in front of
me. He kept saying "The next thing you say... Do not say...this..."
or "this.” And he was saying "Do not say I won’t do something"
(COME BACK TO THIS BECAUSE IT’S HARD TO DE-
SCRIBE). The first guy got really pissed off, and I just remember
trying not to laugh or anything, because my father was sitting
across the room and I could probably think what he was think-
ing. Because this was ridiculous. The jokes in this dream were so
funny and ridiculous. Just a few minutes earlier I was listening
to one of their albums. I don't know how it happened, but that’s
what I was doing... I was listening, and then suddenly I was with
them. It was a special box set. Had footage of them...and dif-
ferent stuff throughout the years... They called it by different
names... They broke it up into different sections. One title had a
christmas name... Like The Snowmen Something. I forget what
it was. But it was like videos of them downtown trying to recruit
some punk rock guy into their band... So they were doing some-
thing stupid downtown in an attempt to sway him. Just pretty
funny sounding stuff, recordings. I remember reading a bunch of
stuff too. I just woke myself up just to make sure I remembered
all the funny parts but now I'm kind of hoping I didn't forget
them already and did that all for nothing. But it was funny. We
were standing around talking, and now that first guy didn't have
a couch to be on, and the second guy was on the one that was
like in front of me... The other one... The first guy was trying to
796
use me as a pillow or something weird. He was being silly. What

the hell was he doing? He was... He got behind me and he was
trying to push me into the... I was having to kick with my feet or
knees against the arm or couch while he pushed against me from
the other end... And it was ridiculous... Because he was all spread
on the couch... So we were fighting back and forth in a really
weird way. It was ridiculous... He had a blanket pulled over his
head... And he’s trying to get ready for bed... He's pissed off be-
cause of how the others were acting... Man what was that specif-
ic thing they were saying when fighting each other... He got mad
because he was saying one specific thing...at the end of each sen-
tence... He was cutting him off over and over again. (ANOTH-
ER PART THAT'S HARD TO DESCRIBE. COME BACK.)
I don’t remember where I was before all this. Can't believe I

forgot so much. I was outside somewhere. I just remember the
second guy’s look when I said "Whoa... Two minutes on the
bed and my butts already hurting" and his facial expression was
the equivalent of "Oh my God I can not believe you just said"
he started cracking up and bowling over, because it sounded so
suggestive and misleading. Or not hurting... But pressure.it was
pressure. What else were we doing though. We were all just kind
of sitting around talking for a while. There was something else
really funny... And when I was waking up I was thinking marsh-
mallows. I made some kind of food joke that was really funny. It
was right at the end though, I thought "Wait, should I just wake
myself up and get this recorded? Because these are really funny."
A cafe or something. I feel like we all traveled downtown a little

bit. It was actually a pretty long dream. A lot of it was walking
downtown. Don't remember who else was in it.
That was funny, ‘cause he wanted to get into bed but he couldn’t
find a place to sleep, so he said "Here, you go right here." and he
was just trying to be silly and he wasn't really trying to get into
bed... But he was shoving me against the edge of the couch, say-
ing "Iiiiim tired" and he had something pulled over his head like
a hoodie or something... Not like the hood... But the main part...
And just shoving against me. Yeah the boxset was pretty cool.
Special edition. It had little pictures of an empty cafe on it... Like
an outdoor cafe at night. A little area with tables and chairs out
in the middle of the city and it was deserted... I forget what it was
called, but like I said, there were two discs... Or sections... And
little comments made... And the section of discs had their own
unique titles... I think before all this I was just looking for stuff to
sell. And I was looking to see the value of different items... And
I noticed that this box set was valuable...and I thought "Whoa,
this sells for that much? Do I have that one?" and whether I had
it or not originally, I ended up finding it in my possession.
I made another really funny comment to my father when we

were sitting outside, getting ready to go into the place where they
were sitting, but I can’t remember that either. This sucks.
Like I said, they were arguing right between me and my father...

So I was looking right at him, he was like 8 or 9 feet away... And
those two were in front of me...arguing sideways... So I’m look-
ing through them at my father.
It was SUCH a real argument. It was SOO realistic. Like kids.
(COME BACK AND DESCRIBE THE EXAMPLES).
I forget the exact details, but when they were talking about the
punk band, "Yeahaah, that day we were going down to the city
and this band would be playing and it was going to be A WAR
because we knew we were going to take on their band members

no matter what they said" and they were all laughing about it
"Yeah, and this, and this" they were being silly but being serious
too. "We're not coming back without taking one of their band
members." And this was a whole feature on the dvd... And it was
pretty funny. Just a long video of them going to steal this band’s
members.
[...]
“ROMANCE PAINTER”
03/11/2014 | 5:33 AM
A long and somewhat frustrating dream. I was painting the walls
with scenes from romance movies. But then someone ... Did my
opinions on what I was doing or what I was doing get influenced
by someone else, and did I stop or did I do something else? I
don’t know but I was doing it to be able to paint something else
and... I don't know. It was very confusing how to describe it. But
I wasn't trying to paint art. I just wanted to paint it for practical
purposes. I also attempted to use it as trading power.
800
“POPSICLE”
03/11/2014 | 6:23 AM
Have no intention of using him... I also... I didn't plan on saying
anything about this... I have every intention of... Something...
Using... I did not plan on... I don't know... And I also did this
thing where while he was talking I would make a snapping noise.
I don't know, this was at the end of another dream... Where
my father was crumpling up boxes and stuffing them into paper
bags... He was pissed because I had just refused to offer him
something, I believe. There was also that cool picture of a cool
empire floating on the water. It was made of fishheads and prick-
ly shrubs tied together floating together so the insects don't
drown. And it was awesome. It was going to be used as a tentative
movie cover... So they said don’t bother, it’s just a placeholder. Bu
tI thought it was great. They gave you the inches and stuff, so it
was cool. But what the hell was all this about... Okay I remember
going to the car. That was really freaky. Oh... That’s right, yeah...
The popsicle. My father was talking about the popsicle... And
someone was eating one, and then my mother said "Would you
like one?" and he said "Yeah" and he just started... And I’m sitting
there thinking "don’t describe what they’re like... Don’t describe
how you eat them"... Because I was afraid there were too many
things that could trigger my problems... So I’m sitting there and
he's going "I loooove popsicles because they’re like this and this
and this and this an" and he said so many descriptions of how he
eats it and what it’s like when you eat it... And I stood up and
——.
COMEBACK (his trash bag scene and box crumpling)
801
I know there was a part in this dream where I was thinking

really violent thoughts. Very hateful. I remember at one point I
was very lucid... In some way. I remember recapping some of the
things I Was going to say. Like those things I started off record-
ing with in the beginning... I don’t even remember what I said...
But those are some of the things I Thought I needed to say. As
far as my father, I was just so afraid he was going to say the word
we can’t say... And I was nervous... And then he just went on de-
scribing it instead, graphically, and I thought "Oh my gosh I can’t
believe he skipped that and went to something worse."
IS THIS FROM 3/11? MAKE SURE I don’t LOSE WHERE

THIS GOES.
Empire of fish heads and driftwood floating on the water, so the

insects don't drown.
[...]
“STOP BEING GOD”
03/11/2014 | 10:13 AM
The dream ended with me being approached by a guy in con-
frontation, who told me "Stop being God." and "The way to be
God is not to ask to do this and to ask for his help." and it was in
the section of the woods where there was a thing talking about
"Bringer versus Bringers" and if there could be two, and why
some people pluralize God... And how sometimes it’s being used
in the form of saying "to bring something into being" and it was
in this forest where I had to step over a large tree stump. I was
dragging a HUGE bag that was filled with something gross. I
had no shoes.. And I didn’t want to touch any worms. And this
guy came... I remember there were only one or two people stand-
ing there... And I remember thinking "Can they both be God?"
and then this guy shows up, saying "You need to quit right now."
he's getting all confrontational "You need to give up your/that
power." then he said "What if I'm God?" and I said "But what if
I"M god and YOU'RE delusional? Alternatively, what if neither
of us are God? Or... " and I gave tons of scenarios. And he said
"It doesn't matter. " and he started walking toward me while step-
ping over the branches, "The way to do it is to not become God
and then decide how to work it... That just sounds too pretty
now that you can just ask for help and stand there and do what-
ever you want." and he approached me... And we argued still.
Not violent but quickly escalating... Okay... What was that deal
with the dirty stuff in the wood... What were those things... Lit-
tle patches of insects that we were supposed to cross. I feel like
SN was in it at some point... In a house talking with her earlier...
Not sure of the context. I remember sitting in several buildings.
I remember talking to my father... Maybe my uncle...
803
What was the deal with the God thing though? I really need
to find out where it came from. It was just bizarre. And I had
walked there, through the woods, on an errand. I was carrying
with me all these sacks of stuff. And it felt like I was dragging
around like a giant, folded-over bedspread and filled with all
these things that were leaking out, and it was kind of freaky, be-
cause I was so afraid to step on these things. I’m thinking in my
mind that they were white worms... Grub or larvae... I was afraid
of the larvae... And there was something more to it... Some-
thing beyond the ordinary about these things. I just remember
them being white and wormy. I was being very careful where I
walked... Because I was barefoot. Something with a girl... I was in
the basement, talking with her, trying to convince her of some-
thing... But what was it? I had something special I could do, but
I didn’t feel like God or anything, so it didn’t even feel like me
when I was talking to that guy. He looked kind of creepy....maybe
not creepy... He was a man, not a younger guy... Probably 40-ish...
Just a little worn out, but strong... With beady eyes and with a
blonde crew-cut.
Yeah, but while I was walking back I don’t know what I did, but
I went to this field. I returned to the woods afterwards with this
bag, but I don’t know what I did. I felt like I returned after reach-
ing my destination with the very same things I bought. That
could be untrue, but I remember it... On the way back I was lis-
tening to this audio recording playing through the air. It was de-
tailing the places where I stepped. Commentaries about where
and how I was walking. So that’s when I got to that one point
it just started playing with this theory "where you have to won-
der what about plurality." Then it started explaining why people
think there can be two gods, and what it really comes down to,
and how it’s just a matter of them being "bringers of..." maybe
something with Asia and maybe something with Sn early on. I
think. It’s annoying because I did something crazy earlier on and

can’t remember. I just decided to do something that was REAL-
LY far out that raised A LOT of eyebrows and I just can’t re-
member it. I think it was a "Who cares if I'm a psycho" kind of
thing. Maybe that’s not how it was. I wonder if I was neglect-
ing to consider their opinions. I don't remember any dogs... No
animals at all. Wait... There was something with a little head...
It was... A weird... Lizard. It was a lizard. It was very bizarre.
It was almost translucent. It looked gummy, and it was walking
back and forth while I was walking through this green house-like
place. It wasn't a greenhouse, but had a similar style... It was the
place me and my dad and everyone was. I was walking back and
forth talking to my father and sister, and this lizard was follow-
ing me wherever I went. I just remember wondering why it was
doing that. And it wasn’t following on the ground... I think it
resurrected or something, came back from the dead, and that's
why I was really concerned, and I wanted to make it step... I
think I stepped on it and it came back to life... Maybe that’s what
brought it back to life, I Don't know. I just know that it wasn’t
paying attention to anyone else. And it was watching me...and
not on the floor. It was climbing across all the things at my side...
Like a barbecue cover I remember that... And I was just in a long
aisle, kind of a greenhouse... And I just remember being wary
of it jumping or leaping at me so I tried to get away. I remem-
ber there being some thoughts in my mind... I felt this was invit-
ing some sort of trouble for another species, because this was
brought back to life... Like this would kill some other species
now that it had returned to life. It was kind of orange and pink
and clear. It looked like a weird embryo. It was supposed to look
like a lizard, but it truly looked like an embryo with a long tale
crawling after me. My father... No one was saying anything while
it was walking after me on all fours.Okay... Was there something
in the store? Did I get pissed off and go to return something in a

store? I got pissed off at someone's policy and tried to either steal
from them or return something and I think I reacted wrongly in
response to something they did wrong... I don’t remember what
it was. I got really pissed off at the way someone was talking at
me or staring at me. I remember this one part with this guy... The
civilian clothes guy... Looked like Sam. He came in and started
making demands of some-thin... I was running down the hall.
Telling me not to do something... And I said something like "I
don't have to listen to ANYTHING you say... If I switch out of
my civilian clothes into my real Tendon Levey clothes you'll be in
for quite a fuckin' surprise!" or something like that, and I remem-
ber me and my dad just doing this nervous embarrassed laugh
down the hall. I believe I was sitting in this room with my father,
possibly Asia,and this guy came in, just standing there with us.
Trying to make these demands of us all the sudden. He was an
inferior within this context technically, and he was trying to op-
pose what I was doing. "You can’t do this because of everything
that..." Actually I think it was in some way kind of like a hostage
situation. The guy was just trying to tell me he wouldn’t permit
me to do something because it wasn’t right. My line about the
civilian clothes was just hilarious. I don’t think he was even talk-
ing about my clothes in the first place. He might have been ask-
ing me to change my clothes to fit protocol... Maybe I didn’t look
as I was supposed to. What happened in that room, ‘cause there
was something really bizarre going on. Someone was being kept
there beyond their will, and we all had these certain rules to fol-
low. And my idea was that I’m thinking it was all expected to
go a certain way, but I clearly was going to plow through that so
that everyone could get out of that situation, but one of the peo-
ple was opposed to getting out of the situation in the fear that it
could amount to more trouble, like a jail break... Even though I
could get them out... I just remember him being stupid and just
scowling at me... And I thought "What right do you have to be
doing that to me?"
“FLOOR”
03/13/2014 | 6:13 AM
At the end, that girl Alex was getting ready to leave (whatever her
name was). She was lying on the floor, and she was ?? and I just
got up and drank my coffee, and apparently it helped with now I
felt the alcohol I had been drinking ?? Yeah, I remember when I
was crawling on the floor... The other girl was showing me some-
thing make-uppy... I was laying the????
[...]
808
“WAREHOUSE & OBAMA BEES”
03/13/2014 | 11:57 AM
That dream just ended up with a kid standing in the bathroom
getting slapped on his face... It was like —— patterns. He went
out there and impersonated me. The outside was FILLED with
bees. It was because Barack Obama did something while he was
in a car. He was going to the edge of the world with a book in his
car. And it was April fools day so everyone thought he was jok-
ing. Then something weird happened, and he let loose TONS of
BEES. There was one bee for every one. I think what he pretend-
ed to do was that he was firing bullets. And I go "Oh no... Those
aren't bullets. He used bees" and one by one by one I saw a bee ap-
pear in my yard, and when I finally realized I should run for my
house to my house to tell my parents that someone else was us-
ing bees magically, and to an unknown end which might be bad,
I went running to my house and they were EVERYWHERE>
every inch in the air had a bee in it, it was like running through
a curtain. I remember while I ran thinking "That's weird... How
come no matter how far I run there's hardly any touching my
face." I was in the New Jersey yard. Anyway I made it inside, and
my parents ——, and they let me film them. And then I turned
it on and said "You guys gotta hear this... You'll never guess what
happened" then they started making stupid guesses.
[...]
809
“BLOOD AURA”
03/13/2014 | 7:30 PM
The scene with me turning the channels... And making fun of all
the people on the channels... And my father made that comment
about the face... And me saying "I have no face... I have no face to
save." and then my mom came downstairs... And knocked on the
door and said "WHAT HAPPENED? IS THAT BLOOD?"
she said "There's so much blood shooting out of the door that
something something something. ARE YOU ALRIGHT?"
"No, I'm not alright, but that's not blood. That's an aura. Blood
doesn't work that way." Asia was doing that thing where she was
leaning her head against the table. This was just a sucky dream.
Lots of yelling. My parents were getting ready to go somewhere.
My father was on the couch. And I was switching through chan-
nels, and didn't know what I was looking for... But I was looking
for something to put on...and I was looking for something and
started making fun of everyone.just like "AHAHA, look at this
guy's expression. AHAHAHA look at this guy’s pants he’s wear-
ing" and I was just going on and on making observations saying
a lot of funny things... And he told me to stop doing it... But
I was having a fun time with it so I kept doing it, and I was
cracking up but no one else was. I remember saying a couple re-
ally funny things but I would look over and no one was laugh-
ing. At one point I remember looking over at Asia while she was
in the kitchen, and I said something, then my dad geos "What
does she have to say" and I said "She's slumped over the kitchen
table like she's dead and couldn't be any less interested in what I
have to say" so I got really annoyed, ‘cause she just didn’t care...
And my father was telling me to stop. He said "Jeez when you
pick one you can actually wait to find one that’s a funny/real ob-
810
servation" and I said "They're ALL real. This stuff exists every-
WHERE!" ... What was that thing he said about face though?
made some comment, used an idiom about... What was it... And
I said "You kidding? I HAVE no face. You should know that
by now." Something like that, making it like I should act with
more dignity, like I’m going a little nuts, and I said "Are you kid-
ding me? I have no reason to pretend I’m not this person." All I
know is that he kept getting madder and madder... And Asia ei-
ther wasn’t responding or said something I didn’t like, then we
all started quarreling, and I stood up, and tried to say it in the
most formal way I could, most respectable, not slangish, I was
like "You know what? You should go fuck yourself. You should
go fuck yourself too!" and then I gave them the middle fingers,
then my father left the leather couch and came after me... And
then my sister started screaming... And then I ran down to my
room in the basement and slammed the door. and I heard them
all running after me, and I thought okay... I just ruined my life
forever. I hope that was worth it"... But I got REALLY lighthead-
ed while standing up and almost passed out, ‘cause I stood up
too quickly and then ran real quick... So I started whiting out
by the doorway... Meanwhile I was trying to close the door and
lock it... But my mother came down and started pushing against
it. And so I couldn’t lock it or close it right. Then she asked that
question... She's yelling and screaming... "That's it. We're cancel-
ing our plans. We're going to have to do this and do this and take
care of you." I don’t know if I said anything or if I freaked out...
And then she said "What have you been doing in there!? ARE
YOU OKAY? A bunch of blood just shot through the cracks in
the doors... it’s more than I've ever seen in the something some-
thing." and I don’t know how I phrased it, but it was something
like "IT’S AN AURA." I phrased it weird though. I just remem-
ber making fun of people. It was fun too. My dad was just wait-
ing for me to do something and Asia was being utterly stupid.

She wasn't actually asleep. She just had a bored, indolent facial
expression and she wasn't responding... And I was just trying to
include her in my fun... The way they flipped out was pretty re-
alistic compared to how they used to flip out when I used lan-
guage... They would just leap at me and the whole world started
shaking. CONTINUE WITH CLIPS 007, 008, 009 and 00A.
[...]
“AGAINST GOATS”
03/13/2014 | 5:08 AM
Thing against goats?
[...]
813
“ALREADY FAILED”
03/13/2014 | 7:49 PM
I don’t know if I’m capable of putting the dream I just had into
words... but... I feel like... a lot of places... dammit, already failed.
814
“HOLY STALKERS”
03/14/2014 | 10:28 PM
I feel like O was in it again, but that might not be true. Yeah, I
don’t know what the mall had to do with anything, but it was
weird when I went back to the church. I just don’t remember if
I was in church before the stuff or after. I came there looking for
something, and no one knew, and there was something I knew
was there from five or six years ago, and it was weird, ‘cause every-
one was a bit wary of my presence, and I was acting smiley and
courteous and there was nothing they could do about me being
there. So they had to be nice, but they were following me around
at a distance through the hallway, and over time it became less
and less discrete. They would just follow close by. One at a time.
Always a woman. While I walked from room to room, because
it was clear I was looking for something, it was just a bit strange,
because they couldn’t do anything about it, and I was just look-
ing around.
815
“THIRTEEN PERCENT”
03/14/2014 | 3:45 AM
I was at my house (Charldon) and X dropped by. I was surprised.
I couldn’t believe that she showed up in my driveway. I was so
excited and so nervous, and it took me a while to actually come
outside and greet her, because I was preoccupied looking for my
hat, and then when I got to her, I didn’t know what to do. So go
over the fact that the cop just pulled the SHOTGUN? LAM-
BY? (ILLEGIBLE COME BACK TO THIS) but yeah we were
both being charged now with doing something on a busy high-
way. She did it first, and I just went because she went, but when
I was following her I didn’t expect this to happen. She got hit by
something I didn’t see. And it was a crazy highway. At first I had
to pass several lines... But then it got crazier... Like several motor-
cycles would pass VZHHOOOO. And she got taken out, and I
couldn’t believe it... There was that part where I saw KN coming
around, and I wondered what she would think to see her here...
Didn’t know if she knew her... and there was that part where my
dad came around looking like he was going to say something to
her... "Is your dad coming?" "Yeah I don’t know if I said anything,
but he's a better person than he was years ago. So I wouldn't be
worried about it... Well, he's nerdy... But he’s trying to do what
he's trying to do..." and all that shit about the purple hat. I just
kept looking for it. I remember showing up in the driveway, say-
ing "Hey" standing in front of her and she's sitting in the open
door of her vehicle. And it was driving me nuts... What was Nan-
ny doing... She was really bugging the situation. People were like
"AHhh there's a girl here?" there were many people at my house...
—— ?? there was like some little wall... Fortitude... Weird places
where everyone was hanging out...and so my grandma was mak-
816
ing comments...but yeah, X was sitting waiting patiently in the

vehicle. I walked over there and asked what she wanted to do and
she said "Well, I can’t do this ‘cause I don’t really have any mon-
ey." "What about this?" "I can’t because I don't really have any
money." I think I asked her to go a good distance, and I said "I
got money"...then I pulled out like 75 dollars or something and
said "Let's do this... So if money is not a problem do you want to
do this with me?" and she smiled and said "Yeah." I felt so self-
conscious though. Usually in dreams the girls are just like "AL-
RIGHT!" kind of... Assuming... In this dream I thought "Is she
going to say yes?" I didn’t know... But there was all that crap with
that anyway. I had to go back in for my hat, after I left, and what
the hell was going on as I got the hat back. There were all these
weird nonsensical traps set up... In what was supposed to be my
backyard... There were like all these different horses with dogs...
And they were all in a timed pattern... Something weird ... So I
had to run between them all...like a damn video game... So I gave
up and decided not to do it and went back, and I looked back
one more time and I see on the wall, like in front of my house,
there were these weird things on top of the wall... All these pup-
pets or creatures, and one of them was holding my hat "Ah my
hat!" and I think it spoke to me. "Can you throw me my hat?"
"Yeah, I'll throw it to you." So me and her took off. I don’t re-
member too much about us driving around.
I remember asked her why she took off running when my dad
walked over... I thought that’s kind of weird, I said "I understand
you wouldn’t want to meet someone's parents..." but the way she
ran./... And then my dad came walking by like he was never in-
tending to come over in the first place because he didn’t want
to bother me, but still I felt kind of weird...so I was going to say
something to her... But I didn't know how to say something like
that... But we were just... I remember... We were sliding through
the roads really fast,and it was so much fun...so much fun. I don’t
remember what happened but we just went flying through the
roads. And she was so fast... And I was keeping up with her... And
I was making observations...like "This is weird... Because this va-
cation... When you just look at something like this...don’t look at
the signs and see where we are... We could be anywhere at all." so
I was just looking around at all the stuff... Andwhen she flew off
toward the intersection, I said "This could be the intersection at
any place at all!" and I kept saying "we're on vacation!" or some-
thing fun and silly. And we were talking back and forth. It was
really really fun for about... Two minutes... She was still going
ahead of me... But it was enjoyable. And the next thing I know,
she was getting hit by a car... And turned into a heap. She was still
alive... So I went over there and... There were two cops that had
passed me during the last time I started skating across the road
without waiting for the cars to stop... And as soon as I went two
cops noticed me "sHitttttt."... So now I had cops after me... And
I went to go help her, and I freaked out, and tried to lift her up...
But then I heard the cop in the distance explaining the hazard
that that was to the drivers. So I heard someone say "We'll take
her out with a shotgun"... So someone shot her twice from a far
distance... Two shots with a shotgun. And I couldn’t believe it. I
have no idea what happened next... Because then there was some
weird kind of thing where it showed... It was like something that
said "Something should not go to waste"... And I was treating her
like a computer with an operating system... So then it was show-
ing me sitting there in this weird little scrapyard kind of place...
Building stuff that showed like a perfectly normal human, but it
was a guy... And it was like "This is made from 80% of her... But it
failed..." and then it showed "Well this one's made of 70% of her...
But it failed" and it kept showing different creations of mine over
and over again... And each one was made from different pieces
of hers, but less each time... "And this one's the final one... It only
has %13 points something of her inside of it" and I think that
failed too."
When she pulled into the driveway, I couldn’t believe it, it was
so weird. I was going "What?" It felt unreal. I was looking for my
hat for so long that I felt bad. I was acting weird at first because
I felt tense. I felt I was looking really bad, felt very self-conscious
about my hair and how my outfit was worn out by time. And I
was self-conscious about how my ... Hmm... I don’t know.
• I was just going to say something but I don’t remember. Something

about Gone With the Wind? But I realized it was a hallucination
and it didn’t make any sense.
It really wasn’t a romantic dream in any way at all. But it was

something... I guess I felt that way. I was just really nervous. I
still remember what it was like when I saw her again, because I
didn’t know what to say because I hadn’t seen her in so long, and
I wasn’t confident. What was it... we were getting ready to pull
out, and I saw an old acquaintance walking by, and I thought
"Oh no... Is she going to recognize her?" I think X had gotten out
of the car at that point to do something. "Is she going to recog-
nize her? Is she going to come over here? Is she going to find it
weird that we're with each other?"
“MATADOR / BILLIARDS”
03/14/2014 | 5:46 AM
At the very end there was that thing where I appeared on the...
I walked on the billiard table and that guy asked me to get off...
Because it was just for display purposes? but he asked nicely, so
I got off. Then I walked into the next room with some of my as-
sociates... And some guy was all dressed up as a matador... I don’t
know what that was all about, but we had a matador with us...
Wait... That was me. I was the one dressed as the matador. I must
have had a weird sense of perspective in this dream, ‘cause that
was definitely me. Okay, there was all that stuff with me... I don’t
know...let me see... There was... Yeah I teleported to a spot where
they couldn’t find me. And I was kind of hoping they couldn’t
find me... They had just woken me up from some weird symbolic
——? —— I don’t remember...
820
“THE EXORCIST”
03/14/2014 | 10:08 PM
Weird exorcism dream. I kept going in the woods and I’d be ly-
ing down and everyone thought I had a demon. They sent me
to live... I was eventually sent... At the end I was writing a mes-
sage to someone telling them I’m going to be an exorcist instead,
and I said I’m needed in Europe for some reason and I’m going
to be an exorcist. I was getting in trouble all the time. I would
sneak out, go into the woods, either pass out or just lay in the
grass, and there was a group of designated women who, if I was
lying on the ground and acting weird in the middle of the forest,
they would come and console me, and reprove me while I was
being consoled. There was another guy. I did something weird to
him. Something to do with constipation. Something mean I did
to him. But I think I was a girl when I did that. But I made a
big fool of him in front of the church bathroom when he was so
happy to see me. But I would be in the woods, shaking like crazy,
and something would be wrong, I would take a drink of some-
thing, and do something that was essentially normal, and then
someone would show up and think "Oh no... he’s doing some-
thing something something," and then they would embrace me,
but only if I was doing something particularly bad, then they
would reprove me "How could you do this? How could you do
that?” and I would say "I haven't done anything. I don’t know
what you're seeing, because this is not unordinary.” I remember
when this one girl who was the sister of an old friend showed up
one night when I was out there in the woods, and said "I would
like you to reconsider all this,” and I pleaded with her, because
she had the power to send me away. And I didn’t understand why
she was just going to do that, when I figured she should under-
821
stand that there was nothing wrong with what I was doing. It
seems like everytime this happened I would be spread out along
a picnic blanket, just lying there. But I remember while she was
reproving me, the door opened up to the house nearby, and Isaac
walked out. So Isaac came walking down, ‘cause I was about to be
sent away, and he wanted to have one final talk with me before
I got sent away. He spoke about what he wanted to see happen-
ing, or I asked him what he was waiting to see, what would be
the appropriate indicators meaning I was fine and not possessed.
He was telling me, and it was a very, very difficult bizarre dream.
If only I could remember. I just remember stealing away from
places then going into the woods, but I don’t remember where I
started from. Like these rich, nice acres and buildings.
*Every time I’d go walking off, a woman would always be stand-

ing there with me, and it was terrible, I hated it. No matter what
I did, I hated it. I remember a woman following me in church
wherever I went, because this was the first time I had been in
years. They knew I was looking for something. They couldn’t say
anything about it or get rid of me, and I was just acting dumb.
Being polite, looking around, but I was clearly restless. And they
followed close behind at all times, and were unsettled, ‘cause they
couldn’t stop me when I was looking for something. One or two
of them were unnecessarily inquisitive "Hey, what do you think
you’ll be doing when you get this? When you find this?" Some-
thing about a sacrifice? What was that whole thing with that
other guy though? I just remember him showing up. He was be-
ing nice, like surprised, and I think I was a girl for a few minutes
there, and I did something really mean... Like I knew that I had
been making him constipated for the past many years by feed-
ing him something that I convinced him was good for him and
it was making him ill, and the longer I talked to him the worse
I made it, and I said something out loud and everyone heard
me and I remember him being surprised I even knew in the first

place.
Okay... What was that stuff... I remember watching that video of

that guy who was making his own albums, and he was SO into
them. My dad was showing me this guy he had known or some-
thing, and it was a video of him just looking at these albums,
and I’m like "Did... He print those himself ?" and my dad says
yeah... And there were just funny things written on the cover, like
"Greatest Hits Collection" or "something something radio edit
singles." The guy was probably middle aged... 40 ? and he just
looked like he was trying to be cool. He was kind of dorky. Not
dorky but I can’t think of what to compare him to. He wasn’t
an out and out dork , but the way he was demeanor... He had
a backwards hat on... He looked like some kind of slightly eth-
nic skateboarder... I don’t know if that makes any sense what-
soever. I remember just a video showing him... Where he was
just looking through the cds, showing them off, trying to keep
a straight face while going oooh, look at this. The album cov-
ers were very simple, and they showed his picture, and I thought
the way he was going about it was just very weird... So desperate
and wannabeish... And there were just videos where he would be
walking into his room, looking at his guitars, and he would be
VERY seriously looking... Or turn on his music, VERY serious...
And then start to crack a little bit of a smile. He was very satis-
fied, and trying very hard... And a weird mix of things... It was
cute, but repulsively dorky... He was just so into his own stuff and
he was trying to be cool and show everyone else "Hey this is me."
One with Poppop. A fight going on in my house. Me and my

whole family... Nanny Poppop Uncle Jamie too. Don’t remember
what happened, but I was feeling at odds with them. Lots of dis-
cord. This was in New Jersey. I went into the kitchen... They were
in the living room. I opened up the fridge or freezer, then Pop-

pop came by... And he made a joke about some food. Some food
I had pulled out, like "ah you like this somethingsomething?"
it was a funny thing to say... It wasn’t just a comment, it was
also something of a question, ‘cause he wanted something pulled
out... But in making me this comment it was an attempt at show-
ing me that we related... An attempt at showing that we had sim-
ilar tastes. It was intentional. It was kind of cute... And I think
Nanny came over later and said something else but not the same
thing... But it was kind of cute ‘cause I remember thinking that
the whole time he was being quiet and closed off when everyone
else was upset, so he came over and said something like that... I
feel like there was another part of my dream with him... Like dri-
ving me in a car?
Yeah I remember when I was in church I used to keep going to

hang out in that room that used to be the nursery. I also remem-
ber being in the mall. I was being followed around there too. I
felt like I was on the top floor of the mall. Maybe this was New
Jersey mall... Because it had a second floor and I haven’t really ex-
perienced that since living in Virginia... Not in Lynchburg any-
way.
“BREAKFAST”
03/15/2014 | 4:26 AM
I was in the Charldon kitchen and some man was making me
these interesting, multi-layered breakfasts. And they looked so
perfect and colorful that they looked like plastic. I don’t remem-
ber what they were, but he was being really really nice to me.
Then at one point I was in a room with several guys my age and
several girls. I don't remember what we were doing or talking
about... Eventually the girls had to leave for a few minutes to tend
to something. And I sat there peaking around, then I ran to the
door to make sure they weren't on their way back, and then I ran
to one of the purses the main girl left behind and began rifling
through it because I knew she kept candy in there. After about
thirty seconds the door began opening and I got nervous, but my
grandfather entered and he must have thought that I was look-
ing for cigarettes because he then told me that he would just buy
me a pack... And then he asked questions trying to figure out if I
could get this pack to last me until morning... And I tried to fig-
ure it out because Florentin was with me and wanted to borrow
a cigarette or two... And I knew that when Sam came back he
would want one. But around sam I pretended I didn’t have any.
Then I went for a walk and ended up in this place where there
were weird crevices in the ceiling/wall and I had been storing
tons of duplicate CDs.
Then —— mom urging me to go to camp before it starts, and

there were cracks in the wall of the tunnel I was walking though
and I kept shutting her up saying I know the book of revelation
and that I know what she was getting at. And apparently she had
825
at one point thought that this campsite would be the place for
revelation to happen,but she had been proven wrong, and so I
was wondering what she felt about being wrong in that way
The dog had been chasing it all across the (Charldon) kitchen...
It was going all over the ceiling, walls, and floor at lightning
speed, and then Tokyo thought it ran outside. She ran out onto
the deck where my father was. Then the lizard came back in and
crawled onto my shoe and wouldn't leave. I whispered to my fa-
ther saying "It’s on my shoe. Don’t let her see it." and he came
in and peaked but then he tried to come after it so I had to tell
him "No, leave it alone" and we just stood watching it while it
remained on my foot... But it was bloating and mutating and it
looked like it was in pain.
“SUZIE”
03/15/2014 | 7:42 AM
Suzie's (Neighbor’s dog) owner got in a big fight with us... And...
Yeah, she showed up at our house...that was just an absolute dis-
aster... Because there was a big fight. And two of the guys from
the other house had to step in... They didn’t know there was a
fight going on. What I was doing was, I was trying to send out
letters trying to get myself reacquainted with the world, and the
first thing I did was send out letters to people I don’t care about...
People who ...people who are inconsequential. Ones that I have
no reason to fear their opinions of me... Just write normal let-
ters, send them... So I sent some to a couple of my neighbors... As
practice of reintegrating myself... So I wrote them... There were a
lot of problems with that, because she was a mean mean mean...
She started accusing me of all these different things, I don’t re-
member what. I’m a bit foggy now. But there was that line that
one of those guys there used... He was like "Man... I have your
letters from when you went to creation. That meant a lot to me.
Wasn't; that you?" and it was especially weird since they liked our
family, but the woman didn’t. Then at the end of the dream I
was looking through a shoebox of old photos... And letters... So I
could write something else? I don’t remember what it was... But...
Yeah... What kind of book was I looking for? I found all these
cards and envelopes. Not a book. I was looking for some kind of
paper to write on. So I was looking for something I could write
over. And I realized I had kept all the letters from the past two
decades. But not paper I could use... But I looked over the letters
"Whoa I didn’t know I still had this. There's no way I can write
over top of these." I was really surprised when those guys showed
up... And they were in support of me rather than her... And I re-
827
member thinking I could hear her listening... I was afraid that

she could hear from across the...this was like in Londonberry,
and she was down... We were all down where the living room
would be, and she was down where my parents bedroom is... Just
sitting there with Suzie.
“HIT”
03/15/2014 | 8:30 AM
the building I went to was strange
Its path was circular, it revolved around a central that had rooms
all around it... And I kept going in and out of the different
rooms.
one of them had toys in it... And I went with the one with toys...
And there were these children... That kept saying something- —.
in another room my parents were holding a private meeting with

someone.
and then there was the part when I was invited by the pastor to
some huuuge building. It was dark outside... And his daughters
were standing there... And everyone looked mad at me... And
one daughter was talking about how everyone read my autobi-
ography and now they knew I hit the other daughter... And she
was saying she was glad I had throat problems, as punishment,
and the girl looked embarrassed and looked in a different direc-
tion and quietly reprimanded the other one for saying something
so mean to me... And I just stood there and had to take it... Not
knowing if I actually ever hit her or not. (to be clear, this never
happened in real life, and I have never actually hit anyone at all
in my life)
Then, once I walked inside and saw everyone standing there, I

couldn’t find the pastor, and the set/up was very, very strange.
There was a bar-type thing, and a stage and a large crowd, and I
felt I had been set up, and so I snuck out quietly and continued
up the road.
829
At the beginning of the dream I was running through a jungle of

sorts with... Patrick and someone else? And I don't know what
happened. I got abandoned? It was like a multi-layered jungle,
and I would drop through one floor and end up on the next...
And he was trying to escape me.
“ARM ASLEEP”*
03/18/2014 | 7:11 AM
Genie from Aladdin figurines... That weird part where my arm
fell asleep and tried to get my dad to twist it for me... Do differ-
ent things to try to wake it up and couldn’t wake it up... And I
thought DAMMIT. I later realized it was really bad in waking
life due to my sleeping position. Then there was that flying go-
ing on with the weird thing... And the part where I got attacked
by something... What was that? There was a part with a banana
sitting in a box... And a banana on a shelf. Then after the banana
there was a ... A lot of weird things... Playing with my sister's fig-
urine... And I stacked them and one of them fell forward when I
touched another one. And I knew this as being one of those very
awkward positions. And I messed with its head... I did some-
thing funny. There was that part where I was flying around that
room with that guy... It was freaky, whatever it was. I don’t know
where it came from either. I just walked in this room and sud-
denly I was able to fly... But right before that is when I got in a bit
of trouble. Walking around inside of the yard. (COLLEGE OF
SOME SORT? ILLEGIBLE) was there something also where I
was telling lies to everyone? there was all that talking with Asia
at the end... What happened is I looked over at one point... I was
talking to dad about something..., I think I looked at old photos
and thought "whoa... Look there’s a banana in that box"... Came
looking for a banana. ‘Cause it was supposed to be... My moth-
ers? or did she want it?
I remember... ??? I had said "This is weird...(?) being healthy, as

far as eating ——" COME BACK. ILLEGIBLE.*
831
that girl from the show. She was trying to sing on stage. Kind of
boring. Then the beat started going and the —— popped out...
And the whole point... Was to individuate themselves, and...
• (THE PART WHERE I THOUGHT I WAS TALKING

TO MY DAD IN THE UTILITY ROOM AND SUDDEN-
LY I BANGED MY NECK WITH THE CAMERA)*
[...]
“UPROAR”
03/18/2014 | 9:29 AM
At the end there was that one girl really flipping out. The one
who was trying to go through all the jewelry... The stuff of that
other girl... Looked like (?)?? —— was rifling through all that
girl's stuff while she left the room real quick... And I said STOP
IT... And she kept blaming different things "Oh, it’s the alcohol...
Oh it’s this..." and then she just couldn’t help herself and just
flipped out and started trying to rip through everything and it
was frustrating I had to fight her off... I don’t know what hap-
pened but it was a weird mannequin we were pulling this stuff off
of..and when the other girl finally returned she made a comment
that was like...really deep... Like "I’m not even going to sit here
and take this from a girl who... With ——. Wouldn’t even ex-
ist... " or "a girl who doesn’t even exist" and then the girl who had
been causing an uproar just stood up and left. I remember I was
sitting there trying to put back this weird striped sweater over
the mannequin... And I was just standing there... Going "what
the hell"... I was just looking around... Then I looked to my left
and that girl —— was just sitting there. She had her hair pulled
back pretty tight. She had a light, gray tannish shirt on... More
tannish, like peach color... She had that behind her... Behind her
she was wearing it... She looked nice... And I said "What are we
going to do..." What was that thing about the wings of a thou-
sand gulls? But we were in this hotel and my mom freaked out
in a hotel making noises so loud that I thought people were go-
ing to think I was a criminal. Then there was all this stuff with
me and my father going underground... Something strange about
the way we traveled to get down there... And then there was all
this stuff when we were hanging out in the bar area... Then I
833
went into that one room and looked, and went "Oh my god..."
and they said "What?" and I said "The tubs are filled with like...
A hundred naked men... Either they're dead... Or they're tin sol-
diers." something like that... Then I walked back out and said "I'm
going up... I'm going back to the service... And I'm... I'm going."
so I freaked out and went out, so the others went with me... Say-
ing yeah it’s probably the best idea. THere was a really weird
shower/toilet there and the wall was really bizarre... It was like
a curtain... And the shower was similar to mine... I started piss-
ing in the shower but then I decided to stop. There was always
something weird following us. There was a guy who showed up
at my door.. He looked like a... I remember just saying "Where
do I know you from if not just today?" I said something similar
to that. Like "I know I know you from some other time" and I
think he said something similar about me... I don’t know. I really
don’t remember. But it was just a guy... Kind of a weird moody
character, kinda fashionable too. A gray shirt, and his hair wasn't
too short... Dark skin... Kind of cool looking. I remember driving
around...when my mom was doing that freak out in her room
and we feared they would call the cops... I remember having
something on me at the time... Don’t remember what it was...
But then I remember putting it back because I feared I would be
caught with it... There was one part where I was in a car. That
girl was attractive... And then there was that girl who had a bag
filled with... She asked me to hold her CD> I think that's how
it all started. I was standing there with four or five girls... Like
outside at nighttime... And she asked me "Can you hold this for
me?" and I couldn't hear what she said at first.after that, after
she handed it to me. And I couldn’t hear the second thing she
said... I didn’t know she said a second thing... But then I looked
at the case a little bit and heard the discs sliding around... And
then thought "OHH! That's what she said..." she said "They're
loose, don't tilt it. Keep it on its side" then I just stood there for
like 30 seconds without any scratching... At first they would slide
around when I wasn’t even doing anything. Any movement at all
would cause it... Then I remember looking back at one point see-
ing her walking away, but she was VERY near to where we were,
so I deduced that she had been watching me for long after I knew
she was... Okay... Back to the hotel part again... I was giving a re-
view on that hotel I stayed at. I didn’t know what to rate it, I
liked it, I had been there twice in one dream... Well I didn’t like
it, but I just mean it wasn’t bad... For a normal hotel. So I gave
it a pretty good rating the second time... That’s probably why my
??? stuff got fucked up... But now it’s kind of like allowing in a
better...????
There was also something about dad's boss. I forget what it was,
but we were all doing work and stuff. Working... I don't know
who it was but I remember someone came up to see me... (is
that what I said here?) there were so many creepy weird things...
Strange dream. Really was. I had so many too, and I don't know
how much I recorded of the previous dream a few hours ago...
Earlier I was trying SO hard to talk and I just couldn’t do it...
I don’t remember much about it, but there was that huge hotel
place. That’s where we were all staying. I just remember walking
around through that at night when me and my father were get-
ting ready to do something. There was this little vehicle we had
to travel in. Something bizarre. Okay, we had this little vehicle
that didn’t have any... We're out pedaling around on the road,
and we got stopped by these... This was before the CD part...
We were outside and we were pedaling around in something that
was really unstable. It was this tiny little vehicle, and by vehicle I
mean a little platform we were sitting on. We each had these little
platforms that felt like remote controlled. It was weird... It just
felt really unstable, and we were driving through, and we reached

a barricade of people... Just like two people. A guy and a girl, and
they were just... Checking something? they stopped us, but I be-
lieve they allowed us through. It was kind of odd... Yeah I don't
know what that one girl was... But she asked that I watch her and
make sure I don’t tilt her dvd or cd, and the next thing I know
I’m watching this wardrobe... Vanity... Not a vanity... It was just
some big thing... And as soon as she left, I was standing in this
room and there was a blonde girl, and she was like"OKAY!" and
she started rifling through it seeing what this girl owned, and I’m
watching, saying "No no no stop it" and I kept blocking it and
she reached past me and grabbed it, and I said "STOP IT" and
we started fighting... And she got so mad, saying "COME ON
COME ON" ‘cause she really wanted to go through her jewelry.
She was making little comments about it... ‘Cause she didn’t like
the other girl, or something... I don’t know. And then when the
other girl returned I was fighting with this girl... Trying to get her
away... I think I pushed her. I don’t remember what happened...
What was all that stuff earlier with the dream that I had... I think
I got this all on video tape... Where my arm hurts so bad... And I
was telling my father "I don’t understand what's wrong with it. It
feels like something’s twisting it" so I was trying to twist it back,
if that makes any sense... And when I woke up I realized it was
me sleeping on it.
There was something in this dream where I was trying to write

down the dream so that I would remember it later. I remember
towards the end of the dream I thought "Ah yeah! I got a lot of
good stuff !" and then when I thought of "The wings of a thou-
sand gulls... Seagulls" and then I thought "what was that?!?" and
I tried to make sure I remembered all these little comments I had
made about my dream... But when I woke up I thought "wait...
What the hell was that?"
It was so creepy when we were all in that basement, and everyone

was just walking around... And I went looking in that other room
and saw all those tubs... Those bins... It was like a morgue... It's
creepy... They were like light... Light blue...gray. It was horrify-
ing... Then I saw all those naked men just lying in the tubs and
I thought "oh my god" and they looked dead. But then I feared
"They're going to fucking get up! They’re going to fucking get
up,” so I took off.
“SCHOOL AND GRADES”
03/20/2014 | 2:07 AM
The last scene of this dream was me running through the forest
with all those people. There was Isaac, there was like thirty peo-
ple all running. It was almost dark, and we were all laughing. This
was after I took off outside by myself and didn't want anybody to
follow me. Because I was pissed off at something and someone
outside and then I went around the corner and I went walking
up the slope and I was a little nervous because I was afraid that
there'd be some people up there that I didn’t know about, and I
noticed a first grader and third grader came along. They saw me
and started coming down.
Okay, first of all, this is a weird dream. There is something weird

at school and grades and something about staying at the church.
There was a good reason for it, but I don’t remember it. At the
very end there was also Chinese or Japanese kid that ran up to
my bragging: “I kissed such and such girl?”
“Is she hot?”
“No!”
And then the dream ended.
As for the first grader and third grader incident... one of them
looked like they started coming down to Where I was. Not in
a bad way, not like confrontation. And I went down. And I saw
that a few people that I was with previously we’re coming to look
for me. I don't know why people were coming to look for me.
But they were. One of them saw me So I ran down there and was
pretending to hide behind the wall. And then he was pretending
838
to talk to me like he's looking for me still and doesn't see me, he's
like, “When I find you, I'm not gonna tell you that you need to
come back to us. I'm just gonna tell you we'd like for you to do
that.” And he's looking right at me when he’s saying that because
he knew I was there and was pretending not to see me. And so I
went down there and I essentially just joined them a minute lat-
er, and I remember no one else was seeing me and there was like a
huge search party, there was like forty, fifty people going through
the woods, and I was just walking through the middle of them
and they didn't realize I was there and so I was eventually like
“Come on, guys!” And they were like “Whoa!”
I remember Sam showing up to that little place we were at, with

little curly hair, and he came back walking through the door
holding a locket between two hands. I was sitting there with
someone else and we started busting out laughing. “look at that.
Look at what he’s doing.” There was something funny about it.
Sam didn’t seem to be friends with us in this dream.
What was going on. It wasn’t church. It was like a shelter. It

looked like the church lobby, yeah, but it wasn't.
All o know is something happened in that place and we were

all... I think they were a little bit pissy with me. Or I got bored
of them or something. Something like that. I don't know. And I
just went and left the building. And okay, there was some kind
of weird camp. Staying at these places and we needed very care-
ful provisions. Very carefully planned out because it was a sticky
situation.
I’m definitely missing the most essential part from this dream.
Like the beginning. Where we all first came into that church. I
think I was alone at first. Okay, I remember we were camping
and I had something with me. It wasn't camping. I keep saying
camping. But I mean, staying overnight in a building that wasn't

ours. There was some kind of trait or something I was bringing
along. I don't know what I mean by that. But I remember there
was something unusual I had. That I was depending on to get
through the night and several nights. And then after that, I don't
know what happened. You know, I remember going out. I re-
member traveling. I was with my dad. And then it was just him
and me and there was no one else. And then we had to leave.
Okay, I remember it was an animal. What animal was that? We
were in an elevator with a big wolf. Yes, that's right. He was upset
because of something. He was taking me all these places. And he
wasn't seeing a profit for what he was doing. On the other hand,
I was seeing some profit because I had a plan and I was making
something. I don't know how to explain it in better terms than
that. I have no idea. But he didn't feel like he was being reward-
ed for what he was doing whereas I did. I don't know. But he was
a little bit discouraged. And we were were riding. It was not an
elevator, but it was just tight, weather resistant kind of cell. They
were both hiding and escaping and traveling. And when we went
in there, a big wolf walked in. And I told him “that's good. That's
the wolf ” and I started explaining how we were told that that's
you know, that's the wolf that belongs to this person and that's
going to be showing up in times like this. It was something good,
it belonged to another person that we knew that it was gonna
be beneficial to us. So I remember I think I even spoke to it. I'm
not sure if spoke back but I remember looking at and trying to
get something out of it. I remember staring at it from across the
room and it didn't look like a perfect animal wolf. Its features
were abnormal. I don't know what what was going on there. But
it was a good sign, and so we're traveling with it.
I just remember being on the road with my dad and seeing like all
these signs, like these neon signs in the middle of night for food
places or something. But there was something very dark and sin-
ister about it. We were just staying in all these different places.
And there was some kind of danger or some kind of threat.
might not have been an extreme danger, but there was some kind
of scarcity and we were moving from place to place and there
were a bunch of work buildings. So they were like work settings.
They all kind of looked like the church lobby, and I really don't
know what happened at the end of the dream. I just know that I
was sitting there. And I was talking with someone. I feel like Flo-
rentin was in that church and I feel like me and him were sitting
there making jokes about something. But there was there was a
girl, too. I remember talking to a girl in a building. She came up
to me and she started making these weird comments. Something
was wrong with me. I had something over my face or something.
I don't know. And these girls were talking to me. And so they
were saying something to me, and I just don't know what it was.
It wasn't anything romantic at all.
I also noticed towards the end in a church, something happened.

And it wasn't supposed to be a church, I but there were a lot
of church people there. And there was something weird about,
okay, there was like, I had some kind of weird power, there was
different grades of people. And I was with a bunch of people that
were like... it was divided by grades, so when I was talking about
first graders, and third graders before, I was not meaning school,
even though that's what it sounded like. But I left all those peo-
ple, because they were in a certain grade. I don't know why. And
I went off. And I remember I wandered into the territory of the
people in the next grades. And that was a little bit intimidating.
But I knew that I was... I don't know. But I felt a little bit like an
outcast because I was in a different grade. And so I went leaving.
And then they threw a search party. But I thought they were also
kind of pissed at me. But they weren't.
It was really funny at the end though, because we're having a

search party, and most of them didn't know that was I had qui-
etly joined them, and I don't even think they realized I joined
them because I woke up shortly afterwards. And so they're walk-
ing out in the woods looking for me, and I ran right back in the
middle of them. And so I was kind of laughing to myself, right
among them, just helping them look, and I'm not even sure most
of them realized I was right there.
I'm trying to remember what the thing was with the two groups,
the two grades, and what they represented. Because it was these
guys that look pretty strong. Not strong. Not like muscular or
anything. But the one was in a strange blue suit and another one
was... I don’t remember, but they looked a lot more powerful.
“TRAIN TRACKS TO
SOUTHEAST ASIA”
03/20/2014 | 10:28 AM
In the part before I went off chasing those friends of mine to go
in the van, I couldn't catch up to them. And they were shouting
out the things they were watching. Like “We’re gonna watch this
movie and eat this food!” And I’m like “Great, now all the things
that my peers like are being broadcasted. And I never caught
them. I tried to run along the train tracks, and I don’t know what
the fuck happened, but I ended up in like Southeast Asia—kind
of like the perfect line between Southeast and Southwest Asia.
I was running down the road for a while, and then I came to this
yard where there’s a big table, and I’m like, “Awesome, someone
made food for me!” And I was so happy. And I went over to the
table, and I was hungry. There were tomatoes and rolls (biscuits).
A sort of Thanksgivingy kind of spread. It was all just very sim-
ple stuff, though. And then I was just sitting there eating a lot of
it for a while. It was a picnic table outside, just on the side of the
highway. It looked kind of like Nanny and Poppop’s old house in
Blue Ridge.
And then two kids come walking out in a yard and sit next to me,
asking “Who are you?”
With my mouth full I say “Tendon Levey.”
“Twedom Wevey?” They repeated, unable to say my name right,

and I say “Yeah.”
843
I'm just sitting there talking to them and smiling, and I see the
dad or someone peeking through the window. They were Indi-
ans, I think. The dad came running out and started yelling at me,
and he has a dog, and he yells to the dog “Go get him!” So I
pulled like a dead white wolf off of the table, along with some-
thing that was like a roll or a tomato, and I took off running
down the highway. I psyched out the dog with one of my food
items, as in when it started catching up with me I showed him
my food and pretended to throw it but I didn’t. The dog went
running in the other direction. The man gets mad at the dog,
“He just tricked you! Go back and get him!” So the dog starts
to chase me again. So ai run down to the highway. And by the
time it gets near me again, we’re at the highway now, and I actu-
ally throw the little wolf, and the guy is chasing me at this point.
The dog runs back and fetches the wolf carcasses, and guy's still
yelling at the dog, but this time it actually goes and fetches the
thing and I’m able to get away.
I don’t remember how I got to a different part of Asia. Traveling

was very strange. I just remember running outside of a store af-
ter... after being in a store for a really long time. It was in the mall
area. And I was like, “Okay, I'm finally done with what I was do-
ing.” And geez, I can’t remember what I was doing. And then I
saw some of my friends running through the parking lot, yelling
“He’s leaving without us!” I saw them leaving a car. I thought all
of them were in the car. So I got running and I'm like, “Wait,
where is so and so?!” I start yelling and I can hear my friends
yelling. I can’t really see them well, since they’re pretty far ahead
of me at this point.
Okay, wait, what was happening those yards. Something crazy

was going on with the trees in the backyard of Londonberry. I
was swinging off the trees somewhere.
Anyway, so then I'm chasing them. And someone else noticed,

and they’re like “Your friends are going to go eat this and watch
this!” And I’m asking “Why do you have to tell me what every-
one I know is watching and eating?” To the right of me there was
a long line leading to some kind of vendor.
Then I noticed my associates were running on the train tracks

themselves not the actual part outside of the tracks and all in
know is that as soon as I got on the tracks, I got like sucked along
and couldn’t stop and next thing I know I ended up in Asia. I
had a big map and I was using it to transport to all these different
places.
What happened in that store? And what was I doing when I

came running out of... oooooooh. There was that woman who
was holding onto me. We got into a really cool debate. She was
Catholic. I kept asking her. Oh, and there was Daniel. And they
were laughing about the thing I was writing on my computer. I
was also talking to Daniel about something else. He used to work
at a weird bar and knew a lot of people in the 70s. I don't know,
it didn't make sense, but I was like “That sounds like a fun place
to work.”
And so I was sitting there and on my computer it said “Do I sense

the presence of defensiveness?” and I remember Daniel saying
it quietly to himself and laughed a little bit, so I shut down my
monitor because he realized that I was writing everything I was
saying beforehand, like planning out my debates ahead of time.
I was asking “Do I sense the presence of defensiveness? I'm just

curious, because I wonder why you feel like you need to defend
yourself, because I'm just asking you something simple.” And I
just remember having a conversation with this woman who was
probably her thirties. I don't know, she seemed a little older at
first. But we were talking to her normal at first. I don't remem-

ber about what or why. But it was just me and a few people talk-
ing to her. Me, Daniel and another girl and we were just sit-
ting there talking to this woman. And it was kind of normal at
first. Then something came over me. I forget what came over me
at one point. But then I started being very, very blunt and very
cool. I was just walking around the room finally asking very awe-
some questions. And I was just gonna say what I wanted to say.
And I wasn't just having chit chat anymore. And so she was like
“I'm Catholic, so I don’t believe in such and such.” I was ask-
ing some really good questions and she got a little defensive. She
even seemed to get a little younger over the course of the con-
versation. And then was all of a sudden, we're in this next room
now, and this room looks like a mall or a big market... Yeah, she
seemed to be like, kind of popular, and all these people were run-
ning to me her. She was leaving now for something. Everyone's
coming up and hugging her. People would come up next to her
and then they would hug her and go away. And so I came up to
hug her the first time, and I just remember when we hugged it
was very unusual. And I remember when I stopped trying to hug
her like, because I was wary of not keeping her for too long. I just
remember when I loosened my grip, hers grew a little tighter, so
then I started to tighten my grip as well. But it eventually ended.
Then I went back and kind of walked around and I was just wait-
ing for her to leave and stuff. She gave more speeches or some-
thing and then she had to hug people again. Still some people
who were coming to say goodbye to her. There's still people arriv-
ing to say goodbye to her. And I just remember walking up again,
because I remember her looking at me in a strange way so I came
up to her again because I just wanted to say something, and I re-
member right when I was almost next to her again this stupid
fucking kid got in the way and she went and hugged the kid and
I was like well fuck.
This time I just said something quick and gave a quick hug, but
she kind of did the same thing again. And it was really weird.
And then when I stopped hugging her she still had a hold of my
arm, and there was something really chemical... I don't know...
there was a weird chemistry because we wouldn’t admit it. And
every time we hugged we just couldn’t stop. I don’t know, and
I would have thought it otherwise, but then when I was walk-
ing away I still had one arm around her and she was holding on-
to it somehow. So I just remember standing there, looking at the
exit door, and I was still walking while my hand slowly slipped
through hers. It was weird because she was still holding on but I
was just slowly slipping through her fingers and it was very weird
and slow and sensual. And when I looked back she was just look-
ing back at me. So weird, especially since we just got in an argu-
ment where she looked completely freaking flustered.
That’s when I walked outside the mall door. I did. I remember

making such a cool exit. I just walked over there, I remember
someone say something about me. I walked over without looking
back. I think I kicked the exit open with my foot, something
cool. And then I immediately realized I'd been there for too long
and my ride was now driving away.
We were writing about mysticism and religion and she had a re-
ally contrasted stance with mine. She seemed more New Agey
whereas I was more psychological. But I think I even assumed
like a position in the argument based off of my Christian up-
bringing and so...even just to combat that with Catholicism.
I was with Daniel for a while and he was lounging around behind
me while I was talking. I kept writing out what I was about to say
on my computer and when he noticed what I was doing he began

reading it aloud quietly to himself, so I closed the monitor and
laughed. Because I wasn’t trying to do it. I was just kind of doing
it automatically.
He kept making allusion to some bar he worked at in the 70’s

where he met these different people and something about a
spaceship.
Okay, what the hell was I doing in the backyard? There was also
something about the dogs in the neighborhood. I don’t remem-
ber what, but I know I was in the backyard. It was a weird mix of
Charldon and Londonberry. And I was like up in the air. I had
built something tall and I was climbing my on it or swinging off
of it.
I remember when I started taking the train, when I started riding

on those tracks. I started seeing that really weird scene when I
was doing that. It just showed me zooming across the tracks by
my feet without even walking or anything. And I remember then
I'd be put into this room. This one strange, small room. This ran-
dom room. It seemed pretty altitudinous, too. So I remember
there being a big globe or a map in the center of the room which
allowed me to know what it was. It felt like some really old type
of astrolabe or they type of device. That’s how I learned that I was
in Southwest Asia. At first I was in Southeast Asia but I crossed
over at one point.
When I walked away from those kids, and their dad and their
dog I remember when I finally escaped them and got rid of the
dog that was chasing me I heard the man yelling something like
“Damn the white people!”or “We are above the whites!” And
I'm like, wait, what? They weren't white? I mean, they clearly
weren't. They were like Asian. But I wasn't thinking “They’re not
white” or that they don't think that way, so I was like kind of con-
fused and I found it weird to think they’re looking at me as being
a completely different type or in a completely different class of
person.
“EWEW”
03/21/2014 | 9:20 AM
There was a network called EWEW. At the very end of the
dream I went over and looked at my alarm clock, I realized it was
time to get up, so I was like, whatever I’m just gonna get up. And
so I was trying to write down my story real quick.
Right towards the end there was that boy jumped up on the table
while I was writing something down. What I was writing was I
was trying to think of an alternative situation for how Florentin
and Lajos showed up. But I realized something said ‘Florentin
and Rubid’ showed up and I was like “Wha?”
I was like at the hotel with some people who say there was again
the was it out friends or father? Then I remember Florentin
showing up, and I tried to make this into the big scene where
we stopped being friends, or we parted ways or something. But
there's something weird about me writing it. Like it didn't actu-
ally happen.
So I went into the house to write, sat on the table, and there were
about four boys on the other side of the table. One jumped up on
a table. And he's been really annoying, like, “What are you writ-
ing?”
“Something important.”
And so he jumps up on the table and starts talking. And he's

probably like, seven, eight years old. “If you won’t let me see it
then I’m just gonna have to take it.” And he’s just standing on top
of the table now. He was like my neighbor from New Jersey.
850
He starts coming over in an attempt to take my paper and I get

angry, “Leave it alone, I’m busy here.” And so I took out my
pen and I threatened to stab him with it. And at first I think he
thought it was humorous, but then I stabbed his foot very light-
ly with it. And he just got this really serious face and just left the
room with an upset look.
When he left, the other boys are sitting across the table from me.
I was looking at them while I was sitting there with a paper in my
hand. By the way, I was a girl at this point. I don't know why, but
I was totally a girl. And so I looked at them all across the table
and they’re all making disturbed faces. And I say to them “Just
so you know, I only touched his foot lightly with a pen.” Because
the kid made a big deal and stormed out because of it. And one
of the kids turns to me and says “He still feels!” and he stood up
and started walking out. And I respond with “What I'm trying
to get you all to realize is that I do too,” or something like “If only
you could realize the same about me.”
I knew I was dreaming during the dream so it's weird that I didn’t
start controlling it or anything. But I kept thinking of writing
stuff down to remember things. I woke up up several times in
my dream and went and changed my alarm clock setting, and my
computer froze up one of the times. It was really annoying. And
one of my browser windows just kept freezing. And so I gave up.
There was something going on with with... Florentin and some-

one else. I remember standing outside of some hotel, standing
there kind of suspicious in a parking lot when the guy I was with
and the other guys came... which I believe was Florentin and Ru-
bid, which I said in my book was Florentin and Lajos. They ap-
peared, and I was sitting there consciously trying to write some-
thing to say that this is the last time we ever met; that this is what
started our fight.
• Man, I’m hearing this annoying kid crying in my head over and
over again.
Why was I a fucking girl?
• The problem is, if he does one of these bigger moves like Rock
Climb, he would have taken everything out, so I was dependent on
him doing a really small move again just so I can make it, because I
knew that if he did one more big one I’d be taken out. I don’t know
exactly what I’m thinking. I might be hallucinating.
• Did I just say... did I just say all of that stuff about Rock Climb?
I don’t know. The whole thing about me knowing that I made these
moves and I was relying on them to make these moves. At least...
good. At least... great.
I was trying to write about Florentin and Lajos appearing in this

hotel, and how it happened. So I was writing about how I went
inside and they'd be standing there and that's when the trouble
would begin or something like that. Florentin had some very nit-
picky comments to make at the end and I was getting really an-
noyed.
• That creepy looking guy standing on top of the building looking

like he was about to cry. He was saying “No matter what it is, you
need to keep it. You need to keep going.” It was kind of platitudinous.
Then that guy on the building heard what I was doing and he start-
ed crying. He was creepy looking. His skin was kind of blue-green.
He looked like a zombie, but unlike standard zombie depictions.
That book that I was looking through at the end had that
EWEW word in it.
• I don’t understand what I’m looking at. I’m just standing here
beckoning for these people, trying to get to my car. But then I real-
ized... I don’t know. What the hell, what the hell, whathehell... was
there a haunted house?
Something to do with Tokyo. I was sitting there on the floor do-

ing something and she was moving closer towards me. And I was
threatening her in some way if she moved closer. I forget how
I threatened her. I did something. She freaked out and started
backing up. I just know I was hanging out for a while in the be-
ginning in the house trying to fall asleep.
And then me and my dad just went off doing our own thing. We
went to several places, I think, because. Oh my gosh. What was
the thing with the police officer guy. There was a police officer.
Me and my dad were driving. We're driving really late at night.
And that's how this whole thing with the hotel started. A po-
lice officer approached us. And the lights came on. In our vehi-
cle. I don’t know how. So I quickly fumbled to put my seatbelt
on. I was quickly doing it, like I was trying to do it and it clicked
in right before he peered in to the window. So I was like, okay,
good. And he's talking to my father, “I know that there’s no one
else on the road but yoh guys right now, but that still doesn't give
you any right to do something something something.” He was a
hidden cop or something, and we were like it was traveling by.
He was talking about it how there’s no one is around here and
how the towns are. “If you’re hungry and you want food, you’re
not gonna be able to get any because there's no food in this town.
There’s none o’ that.”
“What? There’s no food?!”

A minute or two passed while talking, and then he says “Well,

you know what? I have food, so I can share with you in case
you’re really wanting food.”
And we’re like “Really? That would be very nice of you.”
“Yeah, I’ll share with you guys.”
I don’t remember what happened, but we drove off together with

him to this hotel, and that’s it. At that hotel I sat at the table with
him and my father and then all of the stuff with Lajos and Ru-
bid.
At the very end I was sitting there with this piece of paper or
book or something that showed a picture of a woman's face and it
was showing these different target areas for things or something,
like these weird lint balls all over her face, it was just flat sim-
ple cartoony drawing, but there were all these little lint hall tum-
bleweed looking things on her face and I’m like “Are these the
Ewew?” I couldn’t tell which word was referencing which point
on the face. But they were just dust, the spots where dust or lint
collects on the face, I don’t know.
I know we had interesting in the conversations and I feel like I

was doing something in the backseat.
“ABSORB RAIN”
03/22/2014 | 5:56 AM
...
855
“MELOKOLIIEKEOK”
03/22/2014 | 11:14 AM
HART VAN
856
“TENTS”
03/22/2014 | 1:30 PM
——
857
“SAMPLE COPY”
03/23/2014 | 1:59 PM
I remember being in a house... And a cop was there in... — in a
very weird way. We were sitting on the floor... There were some
kinds of toys... That I don’t remember. Okay there was some kind
of food. I remember walking with these... I remember having my
book printed... Not the final printing, I remember holding it up
against the Bible and saying "Would you look at that!" and at
one point I remember comparing it... Saying "This is what hap-
pens when you eat spinach... Dreams like this." Then I got my
book and took it over to the dining room table and showed my
family and I was so happy... It was so bizarre, on front it said
"The Chastest" by Tendon Levey... But I wasn’t actually trying to
get a book done... I just clicked something like "Send as it is...
Show me what it’s like currently" I don’t know if I paid for it, but
they sent me the book... I remember a lot of details were called
something like "XICX" "KWIK" or "KXIK" something they did
with embossing the letters, where every letter that was turning
up was embossed, so it was weird as you ran your hand around
it... And I just happened to have the checkbox checked for that
when I made this. It was awesome. But there were things I forgot
to do. I left the spine blank... So it just said the standard things
you're supposed to replace like "Book title here. Author name
here" and the picture... They made the cover picture all goofy.
Because I took some time cropping it so that it would be per-
fect, but then my head was cut off in the picture... A while lat-
er I came back, frustrated still, me and my dad were looking at
it and I said "Wait... Is this the eye?" "Yeah" "Is it just the case
that this is just really misshapen?" and we were trying to figure
out if we were looking at the chin or just the entire head... He's
858
like "wow, that’s just a weird way of looking at it... A weird angle
huh" and we just thought "What in the world?" opening up the
book looked cool but I realized half of it was taken up on adver-
tisements. And pieces of paper you could pull out, like coupons...
And I thought that was just a little section... But it was like the
whole second half of the book. But it was SO thick, it was awe-
some... So I took it into the dining room, laid it on top of a
bible, and said "LOOK IT!" because it was bigger. I was making
some bible jokes... I don’t remember what they were. I remember
there being some figurines or something weird. I kept walking
back and forth between this cafeteria place.and I’d go and grab
something and eat something, then it'd be falling all on the floor,
and I don’t know what they were but I kept coming back and
forth. I might have grabbed a figurine and ate one. I don’t know.
There was something very off about my neck. I don’t know what
it was... But it was very strange. Asia was in the dream too. She
was asking me something? I remember talking to her when I first
got my book pressed. I just remember the image on the cover... I
Threw it together so quickly just to see what it would look like...
So you could tell some parts still needed to be touched on. These
little blue sticky things that were like a wreath around me. But
it was an old-style Portrait of me on the cover... Like from my
shoulder to my forehead... But it just showed my shoulders and
neck... It was like Elizabethan looking. I know I had these bags at
one point. I spilled some stuff and wouldn’t clean it up... There
was something there... And I was making money from it... And
my mother was getting mad because of the junk lying all over the
place.
I also remember seeing some other books in my parents house. A

book about an artist. And had his pic on the cover... And I said
"See, that kind of stuff is cool, why couldn’t they have made my
image like that." I just totally just remember coming out of my
room, then cafeteria, grabbing something, then dropping some-

thing on the way back, then returning to my room. I think some
people were like "What is he doing!?" but then I just returned
to my room... Went straight back. I can’t remember some of the
other stuff. Yeah, but I was lucid at that point when I made the
remark about eating spinach before bed. I know I kept walking
around with my book going "Wooooo" touching the side saying
"This is nice." It was a hard cover and had a slip-over cover.
I do remember telling myself to remember "This is all the inspira-

tion I need to continue writing" ‘cause holding out my hand was
AWESOME. I remember when I first got it I said "Check it out
mom, see how nice it looks" and she opened it... Just looking at...
Then about 40 seconds later I look back at her and say "Wait...
Stop reading... Give it back" she was trying to read as much as
she could quickly because she had never read any of my books.
"I just want to see the style of it" "No you don’t need to see the
style of it" "I just want to see how you started it" "No you don’t
need to see how I started it. Give it back" Very realistic transac-
tion. I think most of the dream I was just sitting there with Asia
and dad. Asia had something bizarre going on.
“JITTER DRUGS”
03/24/2014 | 1:23 PM
——
861
“HIDING IN THE DRIVEWAY”
03/25/2014 | 8:40 AM
...
862
“KANGAROO”
03/28/2014 | 4:32 AM
Okay, there was a lot of stuff in the church parking lot. All
those burglar guys they were talking about. All these teams, these
groups. Something about the book of Ruth in the bible. Don’t
know what that was about. Several things to do with church.
But yeah there were tons of different teams of people. They used
all these different icons, and the icons appeared in the directory,
and you could find this out by looking in the church. And there
was one image that had this little guy escaping like a little burglar,
then I realized there were tons using the same one, including
these guys who said something like "Thou who breaketh in at the
tenth hour" and something about smelly fists punching through
the floor... I don’t know. A Lot of social stuff going on here. Feel
like I can’t recall much of it. There was a lot of very realistic so-
cial stuff going on... What was the deal with the parking lot? And
there was a part where I went out on something like a motorcy-
cle... But not quite a motorcycle. I went into the parking lot and
realized both my parents and grandparents were waiting for me
there, and I was really upset, and they asked why I was upset, and
I wanted them to leave because I had a childish sense of embar-
rassment not wanting other people to see them here. And they
were quite meddlesome, and shouldn’t have been there, so I said
"I have to go back inside... To make sure of something." Was there
something with a store? I think there may have been.
and there was a lot of stuff from overhead having to do with

my friends. And I was being ostracized for something. No one
wanted to talk to me... Like... My chalk... The chalk I drew on
the ground with... They went over and erased it... And they set
863
my room in the building ... Something as... ?? and there was that
part where I woke up in that office building, in those chairs,
and a lady was listening to jewish music, saying something about
it "See? This sounds like he's driving. And this part right here?
That's when he's braking." and I go "Oh man! That was my idea
when I heard this very song!" and she goes "You know this?"
and I said "Yeah! Sounds like he's braking the car!" but that lady
ended up getting in trouble and had to get something moved.
I don’t know. But it was punishment for something something
something. ??? visible only from the first... Physics? fizzes? I don’t
know? ??? Yeah but I was going around interviewing people at
the end. Maybe not. There was a part where I was running with
SS through a field... And a kangaroo. I saw a kangaroo and yelled
"IT’S A KAAANGAROOO!" or something really funny. And
then there was... What was that giant thing I had? I was some-
where in Asia and there was a GIANT thing... It was extremely
big, so we were allowed to hug... Like a giant... Kangaroo. This
one was like a mascot or something. It was so big... And I remem-
ber hearing something about it earlier... Someone had said some-
thing like "You can hug this anywhere you want" which sounds
kind of weird. So I hugged it. It was huge though... Me and Asia
were able to hug it at the same time and still feel small.. Com-
paratively... It’s like you get lost in it. What was all that stuff with
SS... Running through the field... Really... At first I was running
through these cornfields on the top of a mountain. What the hell
is wrong with me? I was really happy about something. It was just
me at first. I was just sitting around and he came back and started
talking about how he found love, and this and this and that. And
I was self-conscious, so I acted like you had to wait your turn to
find love, and it was not something that depended on... I don’t
know... So I went "Okaaay" and I acted like it was "my turn" and
I took off running through the field like it was ‘my turn to love’.
I don’t know. It’s really goofy sounding... But I was just running.
And then I spotted a giant kangaroo... So yeah... Asia had a lot
of parts in this dream but I can’t seem to remember what they
were. So yeah there was that burglar symbol being used for all
of these... It was being so overused... Like "aww dammit" because
it was everywhere... And I was thinking I had finally found the
right team. Damn, I'm sitting there getting stuck because I hit
some kind of pizzicato harp in my head or something... I don’t
know... I'm really just confused... But it was an hallucination.
I just remember sleeping on these chairs... This long conference

hall kind of thing... Chairs all over the place. At one point I re-
member getting kicked out... And I was sent to... It was around
the beginning... I don’t know... There was some very formal place
where I got kicked out and had to go back to the beginning. I
think that’s when I went to sleep. And while I was lying there all
these other people came walking up because they were supposed
to have another meeting, and I lifted up my head and said "Oh,
I’m not part of this meeting, I was part of the previous one... So
if you need to use this seat just let me know" and then I fell back
asleep. It was a long dream, and there is a lot more that can be
said of the details... But I am... Tired.
It was weird... With me and Asia hugging the kangaroo. And I

was like "Ahhh, I can hug it!" and I jumped up and grabbed onto
it... And I was so glad I did it.
“NORMALCY”
03/28/2014 | 8:57 AM
That was a bizarre dream. Asia... And there was pizza. There was
a giant banner on the floor that my mom kept putting around
because she got it for me. Something about it... Coming with
the pizza... I Don't know. I was just glad that the —— pizza...
I didn’t eat it, but brought something to my room. Most of the
dream was just me and Asia... There was this deeply emotional
and painful atmosphere to the dream but for no understandable
reason.
I remember I was sitting there in front of the TV in the living

room. I was lying down on my stomach. Asia was there too. I was
eating something, and she brought in this roll that had honey
mustard on it or something. And I was really full, and I wasn’t
eating much... But I ate the whole thing so as to not seem dis-
courteous. I remember my parents were outside. There was a slid-
ing glass door in the living room. And since I was in front of
the TV... Right near the fireplace. There was just this lucid sense
about everyone... Like even though we were fine in the dream, I
knew that she was gone forever.
866
“MATERNAL THEATRICS”
03/29/2014 | 4:15 AM
I was cutting those pieces of cake into sponge (at the end of the
dream). I was actually cutting the sponge while I was cutting the
cake. Then there were those crazy dogs. Yeah there was that dog
that kept biting me. It looked like it really liked me. Doing the
weirdest thing... Acting like a machine gun rate when it was...
Licking me? I think. And then as soon as I changed position
it started biting me... And I thought "was I hurting it? I don’t
know" then it started doing it again and they took it away. Some
people I was with now... Something about a crew of people. The
same people from... I don't know. I remember... One guy looked
like PT. Yeah. My mother was talking about dogs for a while.
Those dogs were acting so funny. I forget what was so funny. But
they were small and they were just... I don’t remember. At the
end that girl was cutting the cake, and trying to make sure that
how many pieces it would be cut into... Then one girl looked at
me and what I was doing and said "Wait... How many pieces are
you cutting that cake into?" and I respond with a silly voice "Ah-
hh I don't know. I don’t look at that stuff. Just see a cake that
needs to be cut and I do it" and she just looked at me blankly
"Uh huh" and so the person next to me is cutting the other cake.
There were several cakes in a row. So she's counting to see how
many cuts she's going to get from hers, and I could tell that she
was hoping there wouldn't be enough to where she would have
to hand a piece to me. Then I woke up. I was in like a mansion at
the time.there was something going on with JF... And there was
that Indian guy. I remember my mother being really... She was
just walking around midnight later hours of night around the
house....doing whatever. What was all that stuff before... So many
867
weird things in this dream that I can’t recall. Something hap-

pened outside. Some kind of conversation. I don’t know. I think
someone was given a reason to dislike me. I forget what it was. I
forget if it was just or unjust. Maybe I did something disturbing.
I know I was with my father at the beginning of the dream. For
a while, in fact. I just can't remember what was going on. Pretty
sure my mother was there at one point. Okay I remember play-
ing that song on the deck... What was that... We were all playing
some weird song on the deck of my house. Me and some other
people. It was like salsa music...? something spanish? (Unintelli-
gible hypnagogia). Come back to this. —— I just got —— poi-
son itch. And I was going to say "It works, now" Well, I know it
did! "It works, it works." It was just my father talking. And I said
it had a lot to do with the poison itch.
Yeah the dogs were doing something ‘cute’. I remember thinking

of saying something like "I usually hate dogs, but these ones are
pretty funny" but I never ended up saying it. What was I do-
ing on my knees on the floor at night? This might be a shoddy
translation: I remember asking that other girl if... Okay I remem-
ber several of us going in and out of rooms. Yeah... What did
that guy do? He accidentally shot a hole in something. The guy
I was staying with... Most of the kids were in the one room. And
I thought "Oh, that's the cool kid room." A couple guys, one was
clearly not as cool, so we're standing there, he accidentally fires a
gun through a wall, and everyone sleeping in the house ends up
waking up, and then the cool people come walking down... We
went to the kitchen... To the bathroom... ? I just remember saying
some weird things when someone asked many questions... Every-
one was going to — some particular task, so when I saw a girl
walking —— and I asked her if she wanted to come with me(?)
and she said No.
I just remember for a while trying to figure out how to ask that
guy if he knew who PT was. How do I remember him? And
why did I care to know if he knew him? I remember running all
around trying to —— (ILLEGIBLE/COME BACK). I was go-
ing back and forth between this great big mansion and...I don’t
know. There was a place that I was staying that was like... At one
point I remember there being a pleasant atmosphere... Like blue
skies... But later on it was like a dark manor.
(Talking about almost throwing up while sleeping)
I remember watching a performance of some sort. And there was

some kind of dog in it. Not normal dogs though. Really real-
ly small and kind of cartoony. I remember one of the girls there
looked like JB. Most of the people were very snobby... Or most
of the girls... Which is why I didn’t ask that guy if he knew PT,
because he was standing next to this other girl and she looked an-
noyed. I’m totally forgetting some of these parts.
(ILLEGIBLE) I don't know if it's a joke. I don't know what it

was. —— I'm like... I feel like there's no carrots... There's no
rice... And I said "There's no carrots" and everyone goes
"AWWWWWW" and then I go "and there's no rice" and they go
"AWWWW." I don’t know why I’m doing this. Trying to prove a
point. — itself is carefully packaged with ——.
[...]
“TO THE UK”
04/01/2014 | 9:39 AM
I started going to this church or something... I went to like... The
UK and saw. That was bizarre. Went to the UK. Went to court.
At first it was a court, but it turned into a church.
[...]
870
“CRYING BASS”
04/03/2014 | 8:29 AM
a girl following me around... Or I was following around this girl
in a supermarket. A black girl had a crush on me and gave me
something? She seemed young. After she gave me something I
asked her a question... Then tears started coming out of her face...
Then tears started coming out of my face too. And I can’t re-
member exactly what the question was. She was just nervous
around me or something. Then there was that other girl I fol-
lowed around the mall. I was with her at first but then we got
separated. We didn't know each other, but I was trying to get o
to where she was(?).
[...]
Yeah, but that little black girl. We were all just sitting around a
table... A little table doing something. Then there was a black guy
who was playing this tune on a bass. And I said "That's cool, keep
playing that."
871
“THREE GLOVES”
03/18/2014 | 2:37 PM
In the end my father and sister asked me. They said "We're play-
ing puppets" but there were like three gloves. Within this game,
and each person had one glove, and she said "This one means The
Incest and this one means The Officer."
872
“PYRAMID GAME”
04/04/2014 | 6:18 AM
stealing something from ally and making off with it. I was going
down this weird... There was some pyramid game I kept playing
outside... I went outside and said something... And I was writing
this all down in my dream...keeping notes of everything. it made
no sense. Asia was staying upstairs... At like... While I was staying
in the other place with ally. Was it in a hotel? I don’t know. I
don’t know what it was. So I didn’t see her for most of the time.
And never came back to get her. I was taking off leaving...‘cause
I was running away...‘cause I just took ten dollars... What was all
that stuff with my mother? I remember this band...
[...]
I don’t remember what exactly it was but my mom was doing

something really witchy. Me and my father were sitting there...
I remember she was doing something really horrible. I took my
pretzels... And I... I don’t know.
“Hairiest animal... hairiest woman... and where I jumped down

the stairs."
I remember when I was running from Ally... I abandoned Asia. I

was still in the top of the building. Stole the ten emergency dol-
lars.
Stolen Ten Dollars / Jump Through Floor / Trauma & Heaviest

Animal / Invisible With Spanish Couple In Bedroom
[...]
873
“POWDER”
04/05/2014 | 5:45 AM
The dream ended with my mother pouring. She was sitting in
this weird place, like a bowl stacked twenty feet in the air. There
was a hole in it and it was leaking some sort of powder or season-
ing, and this seasoning was falling down like twenty feet. So the
bowl was standing really high. She was eating it. I was about to
say something to her, like what the hell, and she said something I
forget. I was away with that girl.
Guy racing to give other guy his blessing
Brown towel on his head
Testing out new currency

[...]
874
“AMBER CRY”
04/05/2014 | 7:40 AM
“Amber let out the most —cry ever. After she was born, she let
out a scream and cried so loud and long that...”
D crush On Me ("I Was speaking through the door to him. He

was angry, and he said that the only two times he had ever been
angry in his life was when I was around... And he wouldn’t open
up... And I said... "Oh... I think I know what the problem is... You
have a crush on me." and he responded with "What? No! How
do you get to that conclusion?"
[...]
875
“HELICOPTER BLADE”
04/05/2014 | 9:50 AM
Boy was angry with me because I wanted to leave. I said I would
buy him a drink. He said he wanted hot chocolate instead of hot
coffee. The girl said "That's interesting...It's just barely different
from coffee but..." "Don't Tell me this has something to do with
the helicopter blade telling you" and then we saw him running
around the back of a building as a helicopter blade crashed and
it landed on a square, and the boy goes "Hot chocolate! Genius!"
I had offered to stay to help them for a little while. This had
something to do with me crossing the road... In New Jersey while
wearing a giant... Something around my head while listening to
a Petra cd? Like a giant blanket or a folded pillow? Something
strange. Then I met a family of three along the way while walk-
ing... A young woman, a teenage girl and a small boy. I walked
around with them for the day ‘cause the dad/husband was gone
at work and they thought I was nice and could use my help and
opinions.
At the end of the dream the stories switched to the tale of an-
other man who was sitting in the desert with his girlfriend as she
was falling for another man...This man was kind of gross looking
when I saw him... Not the obvious gross type, but he was like...
Ehhhhh.
876
“NAUSEA”
04/07/2014 | 8:47 AM
Nausea and throwing up in the bathroom. "My vomit conditions
aren't met." Tape on the windows. Cop was coming. Everything
looks weird. Countertop covered with CDS. Floor in the bath-
room is covered with math papers and vomit. And... Of course...
The scotch tape on the window.
[...]
877
“LAWSPEAK”
04/07/2014 | 11:41 AM
I was talking to the hyper girl online and decided to wake up
now. And sometimes I just looked at the chat and thought ——.
Things were coming through my mouth that I wasn't meaning to
say. I was getting mad that I was being so formal. Embarrassed
about speaking lawspeak in a chat where people expect quick, in-
formal communication.
[...]
878
LOCKPICK*
04/07/2014 | 8:47 AM
Dream ended with that guy going back and forth over and over
again from the front of the house to the back of the house, trying
to pick a lock and trying to get in, and waiting for a flaw to ex-
pose itself, in a way—— holding up——so he can gain admit-
tance to our house. My father was in the kitchen, I think he was
cooking. I was going back and forth between the rooms... Do-
ing ——. At the end I had to go to the bathroom upstairs... But
then went back down and... —— trying to play with him a lit-
tle at the end... Like... Play with his plane... Fire alarm... Without
making the alarm(water?) go off... So he showed me the button
to press. (THIS NEEDS TO BE REVIEWED) He was just a ...
A bad guy... A criminal... But at the same time, we had arranged
this all... And we were talking to each other through the doors...
Not about pleasant things... Just talk... Like he would say what
he was up to exactly... Like "Now I'm going to be doing this... Do
you think you can handle it? or beat it?" it was just freaky. I kept
worrying that I overlooked something. He was breaking into the
house.
There was that seen where I was there with... Tyler? I don’t know
who I was with... I know Patrick was there... He was doing some-
thing pretty horrible I think... Being a really cruel guy. I don’t
think it was to me. He was just being one in general. That was
really wrong... And I just remember being with a bunch of other
people in this room and I was doing something weird. I was
looking around for a particular girl for some reason. I forget...
We got in trouble at this one place... For sneaking around. Who
was the other one that was guilty of doing this with me?
879
There was also that part where we were running from that guy...
While in the car... I was in the backseat... A dog in the passenger
seat... And my father is driving... I was in the seat on the right side
behind the dog... We had to keep our doors locked too ‘cause this
guy was after us. It was just nerve wracking... I wish I could re-
call more of the story... I remember in the end when I was stand-
ing on a chair... Trying to push this little thing on my finger be-
tween these wires... Trying to activate the smoke detector with-
out smoke being present... I remember I did it twice... It wasn’t
a smoke detector... It was supposed to be the alarm... The door-
bell... Or something... It was something like a doorbell. I just re-
member the neighbor looking over...‘cause I was looking out the
window while I was doing it... She was like using a hose in her
garden or something, and she looked up and over at my house
while doing something in their yard... In their garden. There was
someone who I remember thinking was cool. I don’t have any
idea what I associate this with though. I don’t remember the per-
son at all.
“PHONE CALL”
04/07/2014 | 10:53 AM
In the end of the dream I was in the kitchen with my father...
Uncle Jamie and one other person... And I was standing there
with a weird looking pocket screwdriver in my hand, and it was
like a weird shaped screwdriver... The handle was squared off...
And I was like "You guys better fucking stop screwing me here or
this is going to hurt a lot more than (whatever it is I did to my
mom)" and my father said "You promised something to me and
you broke that promise" and right when he said that I remember
ripping the phone off the wall and throwing it down the stairs.
And I said "What's that promise? Because I didn't do this and
this and this that deserves that." he never really explained what
he was talking about, but I saw a list that I had written, saying
something about certain kinda people... A certain kind of book-
worm who goes to the bookstore frequently... Something about...
I think he meant talking for this short amount of time, honestly.
I just remember the thing that came over the... I don’t remem-
ber what in the world they were playing through the phone... It
was some kind of recording... It sounded like some creepy science
show talking about these pigs and what to do with them after...
This experimentation on animals or something, it was like "And
now you see the pig brain or... Inside a duck's head... " stuff like
that "or now the little piglets something something"... It was just
strange. But I yelled so loud on the phone, I remember I was talk-
ing to a girl... And I heard them. It was really frustrating because
I was sitting down the stairs, trying to get along with everyone
and not leave... I was just sitting on the end of the couch talking
with this girl and she was telling me some extremely important
things...this was like a long romantic dream... Trying to remem-
881
ber... I remember the two of us walking through a building earli-

er... Don’t remember exactly what... Then I came home and was
talking on the phone... But she was like... "I know a girl who said
that you just seem like the guy who gives up on everybody you
like as soon as the other one you're looking for comes by" and I
said "Who said that!?! When was this?!? Can you explain the ap-
propriate context? What year is this from?" "It was not long after
graduation." She said, I’m like "Okay. 2011. 2010. 2009. When's
that?" and I don’t know what she said. I didn’t know when it
was. She was really soft spoken and we were having a good time
talking on the phone... But the first thing I realized is that on
the far end of the couch my mother had the phone to her ear
and I was so pissed off. She was eavesdropping. I could hear her
breathing, laughing quietly on the other end of the phone and
it really frustrated me and it’s the only reason I raised my voice
on the phone when I was trying not to. I remember something
else. Driving in her car with her... Was I kissing her? I was walk-
ing with her in public and I said something like "I'd pick you up
right now if it wasn't for something something something" like
if you were just a little shorter I'd pick you up... I don’t know...
She was telling me stories of things that bother her "my father's
been doing this lately. He bangs the kitchen table and does these
kinds of things" ... And I said "I guess you don’t like the sound
of people hitting things then." I was trying to pay attention to
what she didn't like so that I could know what to avoid doing... I
can’t remember how I met her. She was definitely attractive, but
not quite my type... She was a really nice person though. I just
wish I remembered more. We were really cute together. THis
was an amazingly realistic dream. I just remember walking to-
gether with her ... Had my arm around her... And I think at the
beginning of the dream we became an official couple. But I re-
member that was weird for some reason... Because I didn’t ex-
pect to ask her out... It just kind of happened. I don’t remember

how the phone conversation started either... But yeah we were
riding around in a car... A little later. I remember making com-
ments... Or one of us was making comments about one-another's
face... Something about...each other's hands... Or face... Making
cute comments about each other... Very observational. I’m pretty
sure we kissed. And I remember it being a good kiss too. It was a
cute dream, but everyone was screwing it up and butting in... My
mother, my uncle, my dad, my grandfather... They were all in on
it. I hit my mother with something... I forget. I picked up some-
thing huge and threw it right at her. I don’t believe it was some-
thing soft like a pillow cushion. It was big... And I threw it at her
when she was on the opposite end of the couch from me trying
to listen in on my serious conversation.
“RICH HOTEL”
04/13/2014
A rich hotel. Lot of famous people there... I don’t remember how
I got there... It wasn’t very comfortable. The bed wasn’t very com-
fortable. It was just very...
There was something weird to do with the city where I was stay-
ing—standing on this ledge... I think I had forgotten how to use
my ability or something? It was a really odd city scene. Some-
thing bad is going on there.
884
“BLAKE BORMEAUX BILLY
BIGBY”*
04/17/2014 | 12:24 PM
885
“CHOCOLATE LAMP”
04/25/2014
Weird dream with H. We were just hanging out. There was that
part with me pretending to climb through Nanny and Poppops
front yard (in Blue Ridge). I dropped to the ground. I was danc-
ing in the backyard and I was singing little bursts of songs but I
didn’t want to do it too much because then I would feel fright-
ened about my throat, so I sang a few bursts, thought ‘this feels
good’, spun around to the side and front of the building. Moving
around crazy with my hand a certain way. Covering one of my
eyes and kind of holding myself. Everyone driving by could see
me doing it. Then I turned around and H was sitting there with
a camera and laughing, so I jumped up and she was taking really
funny pictures of me.
“Oh! take this!” Then I dropped to the ground and acted like I
was climbing it. Then at the end I thought “Whoa... This really
does look like a mountain.”
And then my father or sister said "Because of this? And I said

"Yeah... Or it could also look like a blanket.”
“Oh, because it has some blanket style to it,”
And I said Yeah... What's this... Then I looked and saw a blan-
ket... Partially congealed... Little red square diamond part on it,
just a little piece... Then a guy walks over ... Looks like AM, and
he's like “Ah man... If this blanket was really covered in some-
thing...”
And I said “I’d LOVE THAT!”
886
Then he started talking, but I interrupted him, "Wait... Was that

your question?”Then while walking back to the house I kept
thinking about something he said earlier that was kind of the
same... Aw man... I wish I had a lamp made of chocolate... Like
if I had a lamp made of chocolate." "YEAH! A lamp made of
chocolate! I’d eat it! I’d do this with it! Oh... Is that what you
meant?" Something like that. Not that exactly, but something
like it... I wanted... At the end... To show her who I was... BecausE
I realized there was a lot she didn’t know about me... But I was
going home... My dad already left down the road for work... And
my mom was getting tired and had to be back at home... Spend
the night in the Londonberry house. I remember when we were
sleeping... I wasn’t wearing any clothes, so I’m just lying there
covered in a blanket... And She was wearing way too much... A
whole thing of pajamas, like more than one pair possibly. Well
she was at one point... Or the whole time... It was weird... We
were just talking and falling in and out of sleep and she just kept
shifting around... It was VERY vivid... There was one time when
we both shifted, rolled on our backs, and looked up at the SAME
time... Really strange at the time. There was that thing about the
kid who when he was going to visit the room for help, at his
school, I was talking to this one guy who was always telling me
something about the family life this kid at school has, and how
the kid is bothered by his questions "YEah... I asked him this day,
this day and this day and he doesn't like it. He came to get med-
ical help one day in the office and then I went following him on
a walk, and he doesn't like to talk about his family but, but he
said this to me," so then he shared something the kid said. This
guy was a teacher or something... So I don’t even know how this
part came up... Maybe it was the guy who looked like AM. I kept
getting really disturbed while I was hanging out with H because
I was thinking "All this time I’m spending with her and I don’t
think she knows anything at all... And I don’t feel like I’m even
trying to show it... Nothing accurate... And she's just going to
leave later thinking that I’m just a ... Guy... I don’t know... " and
it pissed me off in different intervals. Everything that had hap-
pened to me over the past several years was entirely unknown
to her. One minute we would be having fun, then I would get
pissed off again, and then it would happen again. There was that
one comment we were making, something about girls and guys...
Thing about that girl in kindergarten... Someone was telling an
anecdote about how there’s this girl in kindergarten who... This
might have been the same one about the boy... No, it might have
been different. I think my mom was telling H. Something about
a girl in kindergarten who heard a story about another girl in
class being liked by this guy... And that girl never hung out with
anyone, and the guy came up and talked to her and admitted it
to her... So what happened is that this girl in kindergarten, this
other girl heard that, so what she thought she was supposed to
do is stop hanging out with all of her friends and just wait for
this guy to admit it to her... If he does... I don’t remember what
happened but it was a dumb situation... She wasn’t seeing the sit-
uation properly. Don’t know what the hell that was all about... So
me and her were lying there, me and H, it was in the morning af-
ter we woke up, still lying there... Also something about the roof.
Very early in the dream I remember standing on the opposite end
of the room. Not near the computer, which was where we were
sleeping, but near the sliding doors and bar... It was just me and
Jeiezza now...very beginning of dream, and I was getting ready
to leave but there was a storm coming and I wanted to maKE
SURE something something something, make sure Jeiezza was
safe or something... So I was pulling all of these cables through
the door... For like the stereo speakers and there were so many
and so convoluted and I tried to pull the right ones and called
my dad on the phone... I was ripping these cables out of a hole in

the wall. Don’t know why I was doing that... But there was a big
storm coming out the window, and I thought "wow that’s pret-
ty bad looking" she kept saying "You don’t have to do this" I said
"No, I want to...I need to." Then we went outside, and I don't re-
member what I did.
Anyway, me and H lying in the morning. There was some weird

inappropriate sexual comment. She laughed and said "Girls
wouldn’t think that way" or "Girls wouldn’t something some-
thing,” and I said "Well, I guess GUYS on average would think
that more than girls would, and I’m not the average and that
would not have come to my mind." I don’t remember the com-
ment, and I don’t think it was meant to be sexual, but she was
laughing at how bad it sounded.
I was climbing through the yard horizontally later on. It was real-
ly funny, I had my mouth open like I was roaring, taking on these
intense action poses, and the ground was so uneven. The top stra-
ta of grass had been ripped off. Mud colored dirt. It just looked
like a mountain. And the pictures looked like I was climbing a
mountain. They were taking pictures from the front of me. Just
very funny looking. Very sporadic. I was just dancing as I came
around, saw she was taking pictures, and immediately got down
and started posing.
At the end when I was in the yard. My parents and grandparents

and "AM" were there. I don’t know who he was but he was there
several times.
“NO-SHOW”
04/28/2014 | 2:07 AM
I was in a hotel or something of that sort. It was kind of like Lon-
donberry, on the inside, like on the start of upstairs, and I ran
upstairs because the phone rang. I was getting ready to do some-
thing. The problem is that I had stayed awake too long and need-
ed to sleep. I was awake all night and decided I couldn't go. I was
planning on going with SN (?) "the person I found is not the per-
son I something something.” I said that to the guy on the couch
who kept asking to know the information, and I told him "I’m
not telling you more information. You do not NEED to know.
It is not RELEVANT to you. It is not IMPORTANT to you.
And none of this..." and kept asking for it I kept telling him no so
I really told him off. Yeah, anyway, Igot a phone call from NP...
Here's the abridged version. I received a phone call from her at
like 3 or 4 in the morning, and she realized I wasn’t coming to
the party, and I thought "She's not going to care because she’s
probably popular and has all these friends and such" working off
a lot of assumptions based on who she was... But apparently she
had been waiting for me all night. And she had been excited
about this for a really long time, and she went over more detail
than she would normally have admitted to, like "And I wore spe-
cial clothing, and such." Even I myself had dyed my hair an inter-
esting color just for the night. Purple, possibly? So I was looking
forward to it too. I was just having too many anxiety problems.
She said "I just want to see you. I just want to stop by. I'm com-
ing by." and I thought "Dammit I’m so tired I won’t be able to
move." She was just very upset. It was somewhat disturbing. And
the whole time I’m on the phone, my mother and sister are mak-
ing jokes. They don’t know what's going on. They're just mak-
890
ing noises and mocking the fact that I’m talking to a girl and I
got pissed at them. So, I was getting ready to go to bed, or al-
ready was in bed, then came out and thought dammit. Then I
remember someone yelling up to me "It’s NP" and someone else
answered and I didn’t think she'd call. And "ahhh, hello NP" and
we're just talking about we're I’m supposed to be, and I thought
"ooh no, she called. I never thought she would call." Just some-
what heartbreaking the way it happened. I don’t know why. I just
read the whole situation wrong. Made a lot of assumptions. And
I affected something of hers that she was really looking forward
to. And there was this guy on the couch who heard everything
and began asking all these questions, "So, what’s——?" and that’s
when I said "You do not NEED to know. I will not tell you Any-
THING." and I said something about not judging the people
that I care for. And then he made another comment, "Do you
think you have any idea about the kind of people that ——?'' It
was weird, because in the beginning of the dream I was upset that
I couldn’t go to the party, ‘cause I was so messed up. And I was
trying to tell myself that I could still go but I realized I couldn’t.
So deliriously tired. So I just thought whatever, I can’t go, I'll just
go to sleep. I think I was doing something else too. Something
strange. But yeah right as I was changing and getting into bed
the phone rang. I was just standing there talking with my mother
about how I was not going at the time.
I still remember the moment she called. I just hear "...Tendon?"

"Oh hey how are you doing" "What the hell is going on? Where
are you" "Oh I can't do all of this" "I'm coming over right now,”
and she was on her way. There were other parts before this in the
dream but I don't know what they were.
“ONE MOON SHOE”
04/28/2014 | 11:26 AM
At the end I was shouting "My eyes! My eyes!" when she was
looking up at her husband. I also had one moon shoe on my
right foot, and my left foot was just a magically pogo foot. So
I kept saying "Hey, I want a moon shoe. When am I going to
get another shoe!" and the monster was like "Come here." And
said "You have to wait for something something" then there was
that other guy who I asked "Are you a butler?" and he said "I am
but a normal butler." I remember yelling down the hall "SHUT
UP PISSFACE" at one of the monsters that was trying to tell
us something. So it was me and father going to this place now,
to this abandoned building, and then there was that scene with
surgeons hovering overhead, and blood splattering everywhere
as they were working on this woman's husband’s heart, which
was supposed to be some kind of boss. Or some elder we knew.
It was the very end of the dream. Earlier on I destroyed that
monster in another room, what did I do... I saw it...there was
no trail of blood or anything, but me and my father were look-
ing around campus the next day when we came back and some-
thing was definitely happening behind the door. And someone
had called us saying something like "It's back. It's regenerated!”
There was some hideous sort of monster. I remember also think-
ing at the end "And then at the end of this I'm going to find
out that the surgeons weren't what I thought, and that is what
makes this a classic." I was calling it "Richie's something some-
thing something.” I don’t know. It was like some kind of movie I
was in. But what was that monster that was attacking me? Then
that woman went out, "When I listened to the sound of his beat-
ing heart," and I said something, "You mean his heart?" "NO, his
892
liver... Yes, his heartbeat.'' That's when she was leading us in and
talking about what they were doing to her husband’s heart. Very
big, fancy but empty place. I killed something though. It seemed
more like an animal than a human being. I just remember me and
my father got separated and I went climbing up on a real high
upper story of a building, I went into a room I shouldn’t have
gone in, and there was a monster there, the most unusual sort of
monster, and I don’t remember what happened, but it was the
weirdest dialogue I ever heard in my life, and I ended up killing
it, and the next day we arrived at campus and it was gone. Oh,
what was that thing? Oh that's right. It was a dog. It was a dog.
It ran into our house, and it’s like I killed it, but when my father
came home and opened the door it came running inside, and it
got up again,so I put my hand around its mouth. I positioned
one of my fingers around an area there and another around an-
other to keep it closed, and I saw it struggling. It suffocated be-
cause of what I was doing and just apart of blew up. And my fa-
ther came and looked at it, and though "It was right here?" ‘cause
my father was looking for the monster and I killed it behind him,
and I don’t think he believed that this was the new form it had
taken. And so then I remember him or someone looking into
its mouth and seeing its teeth and saying "Poor animal, he swal-
lowed all his teeth. Good thing he shit them something some-
thing.” Something about how it was a good thing that it shat out
all its own teeth while I killed him and before he was examined.
I don’t know why it was good. Or before someone else had to
come deal with him. It was just a giant dog. Very very big. And
I’m pretty sure we had conversations about it. And a giant freaky
toyhouse. It felt like that. Like a giant clown dog. Why do I feel
like there was a clown? but I’m pretty sure that this dog had at-
tacked, then I got it down, then it came back and returned when
I went into my house. I don’t know what all that stuff was about
the woman and the husband. But that’s what happened when we
returned to the yard the next morning, ‘cause we knew the dog
had been dragged away, but there was no blood. And I saw some-
thing slinking behind the door and the door shaking a little bit
after shutting. And so I thought "Dammit it regenerated already"
but it didn’t seem like it was sneaking. It seemed like it was call-
ing us purposely. And then on our way back I looked down and
thought "Dammit, I only have one moon shoe.” It was on my
right foot. My father said "But your left foot is naturally springy.
They did it to compensate for your left foot", then I said "But
it doesn't FEEL right." so I walked in and my father right away
started going up the stairs or into the next room, and they were
calling me. Some kind of monster was calling through the halls
of the building telling me not to delay. And I yelled "Hey PISS-
FACE, give me another MOONSHOE!" and my father said
something like "I can’t believe you're talking to the monster like
that." and then I just had to cope with what I had. just remem-
ber the moment that dog died. It was like all these explosions in-
side of it. My father turned around, and it was so crazy. It was
one of those types of dogs whose faces are very sleek. It was like a
golden retriever but... customized. Now, there's a dog I’m think-
ing about, with a thin face but very long hair. I can’t remember
what it is. Border Collie? But its hair around its head is not sup-
posed to be that. Face is so long like an egyptian dog. But I really
wish I could remember the scenes transpiring before the whole
kill the dog thing, because this was an insane dream altogether.
And when I woke up I felt like I decided to wake up. I forget
what happened, but at the end of the dream I was thinking "I’m
going to go write this down real quick" and then my eyes opened,
then I thought "Wait, have I been awake this entire time? ‘Cause
that was absolutely effortless," and I was already sitting up in my
bed. It was positively bizarre.
“MEDIC”*
05/01/2014 | 11:21 AM
Went to this place to receive medical attention. Went with my
father and started talking to this guy, explaining the information,
and how it’s not just intermittent, how it’s been consistent for
4 months now... And I remember at first he didn’t seem like it
was any big deal, but then I said something about the informa-
tion and he went "Oooh." And so the first guy got me some-
thing else, shook his hand afterwards, so the second guy came
and he looked a little more foreign. I shook his hand, and he
felt more like a doctor... He was like "aahh this and this and
this and this" the place we were in felt like some big courthouse.
The lighting had a warm feel to it... Golden...wooden... Bigger-
rrrrrrrrrand then we were talking for a while...then he was going
to go ask someone something, so somehow my father went to ask
him something too, he said "Be right back... I'm going to ask him
something" or "Use the bathroom"... But he didn’t come back...
So I’m sitting alone in this courtroom place... And then several
people came into the room. 7 or 8 people... Into this large room...
Like a meeting area. and so I’m standing there and a guy walks
up to me and goes "ello", and I remember him doing something
odd... Where he wouldn’t just directly shake my hand... He said
something, but I couldn't understand what he meant. "What's
that?" and I understood (...)
THIS IS WITH THE GIRL BOUNCING ON THE PEW

AND ME BEING EMBARRASSED OVER MY TOENAILS.
[...]
895
“IMAGE ON THE MOON”
05/02/2014 | 3:23 AM
My father and I were in a hotel. My sister had just left, and there
was some weird scene with my sister’s friend appearing on the
moon, like someone was projecting an image of her on the moon
and everyone was outside watching it as part of a special event,
and they thought it was a real thing, like an alien invasion and
not a projection. I knew what was actually taking place, though.
She was wearing a weird outfit and dancing like an idiot. I was
just sitting outside in the grass when that happened.
I remember I was going to have all of my albums (?) after food

and drink names? There was one that started off with a song that
was like... I don’t know; the album had like a cola and a burger on
it, and it was like forty-something. There was also that part with
Nanny and Poppop. It was raining outside and I turned down
something (?).
That moon thing was weird, but that’s about all I remember. I re-
member Asia went on a walk.
What was that thing with John? That thing with the arcade?
And that Japanese guy at the hotel. There was that transforming
japanese guy. I don’t know what that means. There was a guy
who transformed into ... he did something weird. He erased his
face... almost took his kid’s testicles and... did something really
bizarre... with his face. I just don’t remember. It was really crazy.
The Japanese man just like took his eyes out and erased his fa-
cial features. I was watching them for a while. And wasn’t there
a really grouchy guy? I was in the cabin in the woods, too, and
I had to stay there overnight, and I walked inside and thought
896
"Man, all these people I don’t know,” and someone was secret-
ly spying on me via a walky-talky from another place, and I was
hiding away from something. I think I had separated and was
running away from something, but at the same time I’m think-
ing that was someone else’s teenage daughter who ran away from
something, so this is really confusing. Was it not me? Yeah, but
I remember there was this black guy who lived in that place.
When you saw him he was like "Aallllright." He was an older guy
and would walk into the cabin where everyone was staying, and
when I looked at him I thought "Hey, wasn't that the guy who
breaks the bones of (?)...” and then I remember going into the
cabin and the first thing he says is "I aaam THIS and I’m think-
ing matters of breaking bones of THIS if we just get what we
want!" and I thought "That’s weird.” It felt like it was a movie I
had already watched because I knew what was going to happen.
What was that arcade part? There was like this high score list
that I remember checking repeatedly, and I was using that as a
means to check if someone had been there at the arcade or not,
because I knew if they were there they would be on this list, and
I thought it was funny because I knew exactly where on the list.
There was something funny about the list. Because I was (?) a
certain spot. And then there were people above me, because I
didn’t have the highest score... (?) Someone there was a lot like
him. I don’t know about that... but I was running from some-
thing. I didn’t want people to know, but I was running in circles
around this building. A weird circuit. Then I would come back
and check the highscores. I remember my father wanted to go
back and be with my mother, and he was like "Today’s supposed
to be Asia but she just took off with Asia, so how am I supposed
to (?) now?" and I said "Just hang out with me for a while,” and
then he started looking around, and I said "You better not be
thinking of mom. She is having a girls night tonight. She's talk-
ing to Colleen." And I said something about a clown, too. I asked

him if he's ever had a certain clown call him over the phone and
say something specific. It was something creepy sounding. That’s
a weird thing to ask. Oh, I told him I had been checking the an-
swering machine messages lately, and that I found some messages
from ... I don’t know. From this weird clown. I don’t know what
the hell it was. Then I told him. I don’t know. It was just so weird.
I remember when I first saw the thing on the moon I immedi-

ately had an idea about the upper story of the building behind
me, and I ran there and found my sister’s friend in front of the
window projecting her image on the moon to make other people
think that aliens had arrived. Just sitting somewhere in this room
talking with these people. Dressed like that...
I didn’t mention the part where Poppop and I got in a fight. I

was calling someone on the phone, but I did something outside,
and it kind of put an end to our visit. There were also these two
women who I worked for at one point. I can’t believe how many
scenes I’m seeing. This must be a whole night full of dreams I’m
trying to recall as one.
There was something about trying to help out Cat, and she was
trying to get some kind of episode of a show. She was waiting for
it to air, but it was a rerun? She was trying to figure out how she
could watch it. I don’t know.
Something about this woman exchanging vows in the middle of

the road with something that was not human. It wasn’t sentient.
It was like an idea. She was crossing the road and someone was
getting... I'm so confused... I'm so confused...
“HELMETS”
05/02/2014 | 11:49 AM
Walking through the mall. Went to the store with my dad and he
was talking to someone. And that guy was showing off all these
old war/colonial uniforms... 1800's... Kind of things...and there
was that weird ski-hat... That I was going to get and didn’t know...
And then I didn’t know if I was allowed to put it on in this store
or not so I just held it there and then told him to put it back.then
he was like "Aw I was going to get this' '. I’m like "we don’t need
to worry about it" then he put it on and said "I like the way these
things look on it" ... Weird tassle things... White things sticking
out all over it... And I really did want to try it on, but now I feel
weird... So I didn’t want to say I did want it, ‘cause I wasn’t sure
if I did or not... Caus ei felt like the guy selling it was saying he
didn’t want me to wear it... But I realized I might have miscon-
strued what he said... Then while my dad was finishing talking
to him I walked over to a shop of used items and looked at the
used media box sets. Didn’t have anything good really. Then I
left the store...there was that time I was walking to the bathroom,
and all the sudden they had me laying on a stretcher or a hospital
bed... And I was lying there sleeping... I wasn’t asleep, but then I
popped up, and the W family came up, and the youngest daugh-
ter jumps on the bed and starts pretending she's tucking me in,
and is like "Here!" and I was just getting up and she didn't know
that, and she started pulling the covers over me. Then she pulls
them completely over me... Then she throws a cushion down on
my stomach and starts jumping on top of it... Then I go "aaaaah-
hh." then she got off after her parents asked "What are you doing
to him!?'' Then Zach comes by and says "No, like this" and then
he pulls off his belt and whips me... In the cushion part... Where
899
my stomach was... And I was like "Nonononono" so I got up and

asked "What are you guys doing here!?" and we';re all just sur-
prised... Then Zach comes over to me... He has like curlyish hair.
And he's practically crying, he has his arms out, and goes "Man!"
and I said ``What's the deal? You're as tall as me?" "Am I? How
tall are you?" "nearly 6'3" "Man I haven't seen you in all these
years so I haven't known how to measure myself, but now I know
that something something" and he was all emotional, and he was
trying to walk around in the stores but he was trying to hold
both of my hands at the same time while he did it... Not in a ro-
mantic way, but just kind of like "aw man it’s so nice to see you..."
just like one of those handshakes gone on too long. Leading you
around... Then we just walked to the store... And I thought it was
the place I was at earlier with my father but it wasn’t... So we
went in... And I saw him looking around... And I say "What of
these things interests you?" and so I look around... I saw sports
equipment, then I saw guitars... And I said "Are you looking at
guitars?" "Yeahhh." "What's good about these ones?" I don’t re-
member what he said, but right when we were looking, this gray
haired lady at my right side links elbows with me and doesnt
even look in my direction, just keeps looking straight ahead at
the wall... So I go "...excuse me? ...what are you doing...? ... Hel-
lo?" and she goes "Oh I just wanted to see what it was like. I just
wanted to get the chance to do that without going through all
the trouble of something something something." and she made
some comment about something like... Bi-difficult? some funny
word she used to describe that there's multiple issues with some-
thing... And she did that for like 3 minutes with her elbow link-
ing arms... So finally she went away and I think that was just
about the end of the dream... Then I went out... I remember after
me and my father left that one store I was following him around,
and I think...I forget how it happened... Something weird hap-
pened and I got kind of lost, and I thought "oh no" and I was
in the middle aisle of the mall... Staring straight... And then I
didn’t see him anymore... ‘Cause I was doing some weird goofy
dance rhythm in the store... And I didn’t see him so I thought
oh no so I started skipping and running. Then I passed the bath-
rooms and saw him there, so I stood outside the stall and wait-
ed... Then I went out and decided to wait outside the bathroom
area lying down on the stretcher thing... The wheely bed. Those
guitars were weird... Didn’t have any headstocks. Very small and
short... And most of the bodies were kinda square... Rectangles...
We spent most of the time in the shop selling colonial clothes
and looking at the goofy hat... It was kind of a cool hat. I thought
it looked cool in the beginning. Cooler than it did in the end,
though. I think I went walking outside at one point... Walking
around the building... Maybe like smoking... With my father. I
don’t know.
“BULLET DODGER”
05/03/2014 | 11:58 AM
That guy kept trying to fight me. And my dad and I were fight-
ing, and he kept trying to beat me up... Then three people pulled
out guns at me at the end, and I dodged all of the bullets, and I
heard them say "He dodged the bullets..." and then I remember
saying "I need to go to the bathroom. I'm feeling constipated."
and I heard someone say "He's a bullet dodger," and I interrupt-
ed, "I'm a CONSTIPATED bullet dodger. Out of my way." And
then I stood up too quick so I blacked out and I couldn’t see any-
thing and I’m walking around the room, sliding around every-
where with no sight where I’m going, and I just heard this soft
folk music playing in the background and everyone talking, I
kept walking and I ran right into a table, and I remember putting
my hand down feeling around to see if anyone was there, and
there might have been, but I’m not sure... I heard a woman talk-
ing kinda so I don’t know... Then this guy started picking a fight
with me, picked a fight with me, and I said "Dude, don't punch
me. I’m in a bad condition right now" and then I said "Why are
you trying to start a fight with me? Usually when someone wants
to fight someone it should have a reason. Me and my father are
having family issues. That's our excuse. You, you just don't like
me?" and he was getting real pissed off at the way I was talking. I
kept calling him something, saying funny things to him, and he
did NOT like that. I forget what I said though. But the house
looked like... Kind of like the kolody's house...? Is that what I'm
thinking of ? This punk guy, this tough punk, just followed me
around from room to room trying to beat me up and I kept say-
ing "leave me alone dude" and I remember hiding behind a bar
as they all shot bullets at me... And I timed it perfectly... It was
902
weird timing... I’d be out there then slip behind something and
hear BANG. Then I would come out, then slip again, then hear
BANG. Then the last kid, I suspected, had two bullets in his
gun. Kid, shorter than the others, gray shirt, and he shot... Then
I peaked over and saw him still trying to fill a bullet in there, so
I jerked again and he missed me... And then they were all out of
bullets. Soo... They just gave up. It was weird. Okay... What were
my other dreams? I remember thinking they were weird. I re-
member thinking that WHILE I was dreaming, "Wow I need to
remember all these dreams... Wait. That’s weird how easy it is for
me to realize right now in my dream that these are dreams." I For-
get why me and my father were fighting, but he locked me away
somewhere. Oh wait... There was that really funny part with iggy
pop and sara. It looked like she was kissing me, but she wasn't. It
was just the way the camera angle looked.*
Yeah, for some strange reason that bully guy seemed a bit defen-
sive when it came to my father. Even though it wasn't made ex-
plicit. But every time he would get mad it seemed it was when
I was mad at my father. He wouldn't say anything about my fa-
ther but he would come up to me and seem like he wanted to
fight... So he followed me around for the first time trying to hit
me, and I was like "No man, chill out" and I kept stopping his
fist, and he kept following me around... And then I went back in
and pulled my father aside and I grabbed him by the collar of his
shirt and said "We need to go outside and settle this once and for
all", and that's when the guy stepped in and said "Do you know
WHAT", and three other guys around the kitchen... There was a
bar in the center of the kitchen, so he and three others pulled out
their guns... I don't remember what my father was doing, but I
remember he freaking locked me in my room at one point, and
he did something else that really bothered me. He was just dis-
allowing me to do anything... Not helping me at all in my sit-
uation, and I kept telling the guy to leave me alone ‘cause I’m
in bad physical condition, told him I couldn’t take a punch be-
cause I could barely stand. I don’t know what that constipation
stuff was at the end... I kind of knew, when I was saying that ... I
don’t think I was even constipated in my dream, so in the dream
I was just thinking that sounded funny, so I was saying it kind of
to take the situation lightly even though it wasn’t exactly true in
my mind. I did have somewhat of a stomach ache though... That
video with me in the superhero outfit and iggy pop and all the
hair metal people was so funny... I thought if I posted this some-
where no one would understand what the hell just went on in my
kitchen, and how all these people are just standing around here
talking... It was so funny though... And I was looking for a differ-
ent video but I kept coming across that one.
“NOT QUITE HUMAN”
05/07/2014 | 3:02 AM
There was this girl, she had pulled me aside, not exactly human,
looked like one but was an animal, I was just in the store with
her, and I asked her "Are we all equal? Are we equal just because
we say we are?" she pulled me aside and sat me on the stairs, re-
member she had a giant hole in her hand... I remember I kept ac-
cidentally touching her... Putting my arm over her while I leaned
over, stuff like that, this time she didn’t mind it... She had
changed how she felt for me for some reason. "I Want to show
you something" she said then she pulled up these videos and she
brought up the fact that she had watched cartoons for the first
time the other day. She had been watching Scooby Doo or some-
thing... "I want to try and get my something something done" she
said, then on the left hand side of the screen was Scooby Doo.
On the right hand side was another show featuring her charac-
ter running exactly like Scooby Doo. Don’t know what it was...
She basically ripped off part of the show. Not ripping off, and she
did it for a real weird psychological reason, because she had never
seen it before... I remember her thinking... Me analyzing things...
"Maybe the reason I didn’t do this was not because of this but be-
cause of this... Or maybe the reason I didn’t eat all of that food
back then wasn’t because I was picky or because I wanted the
best but because I was only doing what I know" then I launched
into a part where I was thinking about that last line (and?) she
said (it) was weird. I was just walking through the center aisle
of a supermarket and she was at the checkout register. I forget
the first time I saw her but I know I had already seen her at this
point. She was an animal in a human's body and I knew that, and
I treated her differently I guess because of it... I think I did? I re-
905
member I was getting into a debate over that fact... And about
whether she's still called an animal or not... And whether an an-
imal is worth less than a human. Which, as I was putting it, yes
they are. But there was more to it than that. These are only the
last couple minutes/scene. I wish I remembered more.
“WITHOUT GETTING IN
TROUBLE”
05/07/2014 | 11:28 AM
This dream ended with me approaching a couple of guys to ask:
“Hey, do you guys know where I can pee without getting in trou-
ble?"
“Huh?"
“Pee."
907
“THE OLD MAN IS SNORING”*
05/10/2014 | 4:14 AM
“The old man is snoring... The old man is snoring." It was a code-
word. I said "I like how easy it was for you to compare a bro-
ken game controller with a runny nose." something like that...
While my sister was trying to pour some soup... And the bowl
that the soup was in... Looked like a weird kind of upside down
hat. Just strange looking. My sister was in the fridge trying to get
something, and it was pouring over on the floor, and I kept say-
ing "The old man is snoring! The old man is snoring!" I think
my father and my sister had just gotten back from the store, in
my dream. I had just gotten back from some weird moody scene
where I was following around some black protagonist. And he
was upset because he went to see his friend Shawn... And Shawn
was... He got in trouble for being on his property... And when I
was on his property I thought "Man I wish I had a nice yard, wish
I had nice stuff like this... All my stuff is nasty." I’m rolling around
in his front yard, and all these people jump out... And the black
daughter jumps out... They arrive home and she sees me running
through the yard... She calls everyone out, the cops and these
people, and they all try to get me, and I say "I'm a friend! I'm a
friend of his!" And they asked "Really?" And they said something
about how I didn’t come to the birthday party yesterday... I said
"I think he wanted to invite you [?].”
BIBLE VERSE. RED RIVER. WIPE AWAY ENTIRE YARD.

WHITE SCREEN. WEIRD BIBLICAL LINE. SEEMED
LIKE PSYCHO. THERE'S MORE.
[...]
908
“UHH...SOMETHING”
05/11/2014 | 3:44 AM
Best Buy. My father and I went driving around. Driving around
to a lot of different places. Parking lot... in the car... at night time.
Something... uhh... dammit.
909
“POWER ON! POWER ME!”
05/11/2014 | 11:40 AM
Drain... All the floors were covered in shit and piss. This is after I
noticed the floors... Dancing around the house, sliding... Florid-
ian vacation house... Sliding the whole time. Lots of Asian peo-
ple. We were all going to see a movie at a theater apparently. I had
on these extra blue pants and I kept trying to fall asleep. Got up
and yelled at my father. Then I woke up twice within my dream.
Then there was the guy with the toothbrush. "My toothbrush is
maroon." Won’t give me my toothbrush.
910
“JOB INTERVIEW”
05/13/2014 | 1:00 AM
1AM - Job interview? Card game. Stuck in several time zones at
once.
911
“CAKE VIDEO”*
05/13/2014 | 10:38 PM
Terminator Snow Sculptures / Cake Video / Asia-Tokyo Fight
"Piece of Shit, get out of there" / A song "A lad at the top of
the ladder" / There was a mouse... Or something that didn’t have
ears... Which I argued with... Threw its ears at me because I was
trying to be nice to it... Multiple angles seen in a video camera...
Able to move around inside the video angle...pink and white
cake... Driving down the road.
912
“ANTS ALL OVER THE FLOOR”
05/14/2014 | 11:49 AM
Girl... Little hotel building... Sitting on the computer for a
while... Then people came... Girl made a comment about some-
thing... I didn’t think twice about who she was... Salmon
women... What's salmon? pink? red? What the hell is she talking
about? ants all over the floor. "Ooh what kind of cakes do you
have?" Is that caramel?" They said it was an accident so no one
was eating it. Coercing me into eating with them. Update my
cart. Asia moves like frog. Girl grabbed me and chased me. Emp-
ty cigarette pack. I had her on my back, ... She was airplaining me
at one point.
913
“GIANT ON THE ROOF”
05/16/2014
Giant on the roof gives me an option of how I die... That guy
with the pizzas. Cooked some great food for us. Writing a mes-
sage saying I would kill everyone.
[...]
914
“BOOK ABOUT CLOUDS”
06/04/2014 | 6:23 AM
Book with girl. Egg collecting? I was collecting ghosts? Book
about clouds.
[...]
915
“DRIVING”
05/20/2014 | 3:00 PM
Jeiezza Driving Me Around... Racing my father home. Mother
leaving toothbrush downstairs—Is it green?
[...]
916
“THESE PEOPLE WANT A
MIRACLE”
05/22/2014 | 5:03 AM
You should be getting the car ready... So... GO! — Imperson-
ation of Jesus "well... These people want a miracle..." — RockEm
SockEm Robots/Dragons
[...]
917
“MARCO CENTAURI”
05/23/2014 | 6:34 AM
Trying to Fly Through Traffic / Marco Centauri / Hurt His Arm
"That's why you always have problems with your/their answers...

Because you have to keep going"
[...]
918
“UMBRELLA”
05/24/2014 | 3:55 AM
Walking through Walmart or a weird store. The umbrella I was
carrying was dripping wet. My father and I were talking as we
were walking, and he asked me something and my response was
simply "umbrella.” I don’t know what the deal was but apparently
I had chosen that when I came to the store... I had some disguise
——? I was walking about ten feet behind —— an elderly man...
An employee. He had a uniform on...
[...]
Toward the end of the dream I really needed to go to the bath-

room, and I saw a line, and I saw all these things "Tip of the
whatever,” “Center of the G,” album titles and phrases that had
to do with piss? I don’t know.
919
“QUICKLY”
05/24/2014 | 7:05 AM
I ran off with Jeiezza. I ran down the stairs singing that one song
with Jeiezza. She was cracking up, and I said "Quick, let’s escape
from all of this.” It was a really funny song about how I’m attrac-
tive in these ways. Also that time later when there was that girl
beneath the waterfall. When she came up she had sent up notes
or something. And I said...
[...]
920
“CLASS”
05/30/2014 | 5:03 AM
There was that weird part with AS. She was sitting in a classroom
of sorts. I went in that room with a mask, and I was someone
very... going to some kind of department store? I don’t know...
There were several other things... I was like going around joining
... Something so weird and dark about it... But yeah I snuck into
a classroom. This was at the end. I snuck into a classroom and
found AS... Knelt down beside her desk... And asked her a ques-
tion... I don’t know what it was... She didn’t know it was me. I
was asking these questions quietly... She seemed very wary/suspi-
cious of me. And then a boy that was originally to the front-right
of her started... He pushed into me... Then said something like...
Something about knowing who I am... And that he does not per-
mit me to do something when... I don’t know. He was just sitting
there... And I couldn’t exchange phone numbers with her... So
she gave me an email address... I have no idea.Something about
parking lots... Something that took me a long time to cross the
parking lot at night... Then I went to the...
[...]
921
“NO CLOSER”
05/30/2014 | 3:08 PM
Two little dogs. NO CLOSER... PLEASE NO CLOSER...
Sniffing slowly.
[...]
922
“TRACER”*
06/03/2014 | 11:38 AM
Those things in my pocket... Pieces of candy... Two little drinks...
Chasing my friend down the street... Who was going to go kill
himself or something similar... When he explained it to me he
said it’s because he didn’t want to have all the authorities trace
down everything and get us in trouble... And I said...
[...]
923
“THE SCAR”
06/07/2014 | 6:37 AM
I was going down the roadway. There was that old hotel or some-
thing. Was there something wanting to kill me? I don’t know.
There was something about that large row that I went down at
the very end of the dream. Once that guy appeared—a magi-
cian...? Okay, there was that part where I was taken to that place
that was like a hallway. There was a step in the hallway, and I was
taken down there because I was going to be... what were they go-
ing to do to me? Did I go into hiding? Wow, I’m describing this
terribly. I just got into so many arguments with everyone, and I
think I tried to kill someone. Then the previous dream was a wet
dream... Where I was investigating something and required ev-
idence, and the evidence I needed to see about something was
a scar, and it was on the girl’s chest, and she had to show me to
prove something, and to do this she had to show me her chest
‘cause that’s how it was verified, and I wet myself, but that was
the previous dream. What was that thing at the end where I was
walking through the woods? It was a very, very far off road. What
were we trying to do? Who was I with? Okay, Isaac was there
some of the time. There was another girl, too. I was going to get
my haircut by one of them. There was a playground, like the place
we used to go for the church baptism. There was this one girl I
kept looking at and I kept waiting for her to notice but I for-
get what it was. I wish I remembered the weird thing about the
weird house and hallway. Then something between my mother
and I, and one of us was going to kill each other. Asia was there
too and she was doing something really weird. She got stuck or
something. But my mother was doing something... damaging...
924
“I HATE MYSELF”
06/07/2014 | 2:21 PM
I was waiting to get that girl’s attention, and I had a weird Ru-
grats thing attached to me. And going outside with my hair look-
ing all weird with my sideburns. I was putting my hair behind my
ears. and my parents were there... Bunch of other people... My
dad was lying on the bed upstairs... Playing video games? but that
girl was very cool... And there were several girls I liked through-
out the duration of this dream, so it made me self-conscious, I
thought "Am I moving from one to the next? ... But this one's
amazing." and I remember looking at something at the end... A
long thing on the internet... With videos attached to it... I re-
member crying at this video. It was a song with a guy singing
"I Hate myself... I hate myself " over and over again... And I was
laughing hysterically... While I was on top of something... In the
air... I was hiding inside something... Like a ledge. And I looked
at it, and he had a weird mustache that went all the way down to
his chin. It was like a stupid post-grunge band... And I thought
they ripped off another band with some of their noises. And
I was cracking up... And I wondered if the people downstairs
could hear me... Then I thought "But this song isn't funny, I don’t
know why I’m laughing at this... Because this is actually really sad
considering what I believe..." then I almost started crying, and it
was weird... That was at the very end...
925
“ANY KIND OF KING”
06/14/2014 | 2:52 PM
I was sitting and conversing with that guy on the deck, by the
stairs. I said, "Man, I would have brushed my hair if I knew that
I would be around all of these people.” Then this guy came by
and stopped and asked, "If you could be any kind of king what
kind of king would you be? How would you describe yourself ?"
He was asking all these weird questions. Certainly an unusual
person. And then he would respond "Mhm... mhm." just taking
notes. Not really smiling or happy... I asked "Do you play any
music?" and he answered tersely "Black metal." We kept talking
for a few minutes about other things and I came back to it say-
ing "So you play death metal, huh?" "I said it was black."and I
said "I don’t really know what that means exactly" then he start-
ed explaining. And I mentioned a band... I think black sabbath,
and I said "I've heard it used in association with them. Now...
Would you consider THAT to sound what you sound like? Or
are you talking about something more modern?" and then he
said "Well..." and then he started showing me stuff, and I said
"Yeah I don’t mind that stuff... That’s like the 80s or early 90s"
and then we were talking about that... So then we were in a class-
room... And there was that couch... There was a girl sitting there
with her arm around a guy. He was on the other side of another
guy... Geez what was going on there... I woke up because my feet
were cramping. I thought it was because I ate this weird choco-
late he gave me. I was also telling the guy on the stairs that it
would be hard to do that king thing because my grandfathers... I
was thinking something like "THe pearl string king" something
weird and he went "Hmm!" and I said "My favorite colors are
gold... And stuff like that... Maroon and pearl would be cool
926
on a king, so who knows..." and he said "Hmmm..." so we just

talked about that. What was I doing in the street? I was walking
through the streets in the neighborhood after dark... Looking for
something. There was something weird with Asia too. She was
communicating with me via something ghostly... And what was
that thing with me getting (out or in) the car and driving some-
thing through the... I was on a bike enacting scenes with this little
ghost and they could fly through the door. Then there was that
lady at the deli who told me I was going to the insane asylum be-
cause I put a cigarette out in the palm of my hand... Like it was
lit and then I sniffed it out by pushing it against my palm. I got
pissed off at a woman at our house... Uncle Jamie was there. I got
pissed off and our whole family started freaking out and yelling.
Then we went on the deck and talked for a while... That’s soon
before I went to the school where I met the black metal guy. I
had gotten up to go get some food or something, and that’s when
everyone else decided to follow me and go get something. That’s
when I stopped and sat on the stairs... And then they all passed
by then stopped and looked at me... And I said "What the hell?
Are we playing follow the leader and I’m the leader?" or "What
am I a king and you all want to follow me?" maybe that’s why the
guy referenced a king... But I’m pretty positive I said follow the
leader, so I’m not sure where the king reference came from.
I was standing around in Shop Rite in front of the deli, and I

pulled out a little cigarette, like a ‘stache scorcher, and I smoked
it real quick before putting it out in the palm of my hand. The
lady at the counter starts yelling, "I don’t want you around here
anymore. You’re insane, you’re going to an insane asylum!" And
she kept insulting me. So I got pissed off and I said, "You know
what, screw that! I went to Walmart and did the same thing and
no one said a thing about it so fuck it, ‘cause I’m not coming back
to Shop Rite anymore!” Then I paused, Wait... Is this Shop Rite?
Or is this still Walmart?” and then I heard everyone whisper-

ing a bunch of weird comments. 3:00 So yeah I remember sitting
on the couch in a room with my mother and another woman.
They were talking on different couches, I was sinking into the
couch... Falling into it... And looked very emotionally pained...
And they were just like "What’s up? Are you okay?" and I said "I
don’t know" then they said "Does it have to do this?" and they
guessed something... I don’t know what it was. I said no, and ex-
plained that it had something to do with Asia... Since she was
contacting me through some spiritual way... She was like climb-
ing... I saw her appear in a ghostly form in front of me... She was
climbing through something in the air like little parts of her were
coming up and whispering something to me. It was very eerie.
Like childish Asia from younger years. I was getting very emo-
tional because she was away and I was awaiting her to come back
and I was having a bit of an emotional breakdown. I stood up
and started freaking out screaming about something. I think I
started screaming about that lady with the cigarette, again. "She
told me to go to an insane asylum because I put out a cigarette
in the palm of my hand!" and then I screamed about something
I dealt with. Then Uncle Jamie chimed in and I said "You don’t
have any idea what goes on around here, so how can you say what
you just said?" I remember something about walking the streets
at the end of the dream. I remember taking a turn. Going down
the streets... All these people taking a walk. I was riding on some
weird... It was not a bike... Just a weird thing. I was just riding
late night, about five or six people, teenage boys and girls... I al-
so remember Jeff going "You think that I’m a young teenager?"
someone said something like that... When we were sitting on the
deck... Someone said like "This has to do with a young teenag-
er" then Jeff said "What? I'm not a young teenager" then I said
"Well, I’m not EITHER!" because he was pushing it off on me...
Or I thought so... So later on when I was going on the street I was

going very slow ‘cause it was not a fast cycling thing... It’s what I
drove through garages with... Oh yeah I was sitting on the edge
of someone's property with a giant computer keyboard, it was
HUGE, and I realized what I was doing was very suspicious... I
was sitting in the bushes at exactly 12 AM exactly... Or some ex-
act time in the morning... Maybe 10 PM at night... And I was
doing something with these giant weird computer keys in the
bushes... But at the same time I was on a chair... On my scooter
thing... And then I realized I was like "Whoa I've been doing this
for a while now to all these different places but maybe this could
get me arrested" so I went back, started rolling down the street,
saw all these people on the street and they were singing a song.
I was just listening as I passed, coming up slowly behind them...
There was this girl singing a very simple melody... And everytime
she did it I would harmonize, or do an octave with her... And as
I started I was very far away from her... But as I got closer and
kept doing it, she heard me, then one by one they started turning
around and saw me, and smiling, because I was harmonizing...
And they said "Huh! You can join our pop band!" and I said "A
pop band?" "Yeah you're now part of a pop band!" “Really? A
pop band?” it was really funny... I sounded really boyish about it.
4Also, when I was sitting in that room with all the teenagers/
kids... I was sitting there and I observed some guy who pulled his
shirt over his knees and knees against his chest. He was sitting
on the floor and behaving strangely. I remember some guy on the
other end of the room looking at him too and pointing it out
quietly to whoever he was near, saying "Haha...look at that guy,
what is he doing." kind of silly-scoffishly.
“CLONES”
06/20/2014 | 1:40 PM
Asking that girl if she wanted any more clones, and to do that I
would have to put more books on the particular bookshelf, and
it would yield to a clone. Every time I did so, it made a clone.
And I asked:
“Do you notice any difference with these ones? Do they seem to
know much more about something something?"
“Yeah, what these ones learned today is already apparent in this

and this and this.”
And I said "You're actually seeing results?"
“Yeah, I’m seeing results even today... because these ones seem to
understand more about this person's health condition and this
helps them to be more sensitive..." but the one that she was talk-
ing about was one of my own clones, and I said "But that’s my
clone, and I already knew about this information before I did
this today. So I already knew, therefore I would have acted the
same" "Well... It still seems to be doing something" It was re-
ally weird. And so it was unwise to keep cloning and putting
books on the bookshelf. There were people everywhere. Like
forty me's running around everywhere... And twenty of her... All
walking around upstairs... It was a weird house. Like an aban-
doned haunted house abandoned out by the woods. Wasn't
Creepy, or intended to be creepy, but I interpret it as being such
now. Looked at a form and realized my full name was on dis-
play. Okay I do remember a part in the dream where I was doing
something for a girl. I remember thinking "If only she knew what
930
I did with her" something about what I was previously talking

about. Don’t know if it was the same instance or a previous one.
But I was changing something but it was hurting me... Physically
affecting my health... To go back and keep resetting something in
her place. I was doing something in her dreams. Everytime some-
thing popped up I kept erasing it/pushing it away... And what-
ever I kept getting rid of ketp hurting me, and I thought to my-
self "I Wonder if she realizes that for the past many years I've
been hurting my health and lifespan just to keep her from having
this nightmare." Like I was using hypnognosticism to go into her
dreams each night and protect her.
“SMICK THE CAT”*
06/21/2014 | 1:06 PM
“Smick the cat?" Purple cat. Killed and then sewn back together.
Guy who was really cool in the driveway. Giant animal carcass-
es... In a bag... Someone showing them off to my mother... Huge
and gray... Who was that cool guy? I only said goodbye to him
and nobody else... At one point in my dream I thought "I should
wake myself up so I don’t forget this stuff.”
A comment made to older women about me dying soon...
932
“CAGE”
06/22/2014 | 4:03 AM
The part in the dream with that little dinosaur thing I have. No,
it was a bird. It was down on the floor itching itself throughout
the entire dream. Then that woman was over the dog, and I un-
covered the parakeet... bird... Whatever it was... I didn’t know
what to do about the fact that it wasn’t sleeping, so I put that
thing over its cage. It was a really big cage. And...
933
“ELECTRICITY GIRLS”*
06/22/2014 | 2:32 PM
Fighting game. Selling pictures of girls with electricity...? "Ap-
pears later as electricity."
[...]
934
“TABLES”
06/23/2014 | 6:17 AM
I was going with that girl...I had her in my room, I remember
how at the end it was really weird because I didn’t feel like it was
her, felt like it was a mannequin or a doll and I had to turn her,
and her hair looked like it was falling off, and then I remember
looking over behind me and it was like all these tables in a restau-
rant and that guy was really upset and he was talking to another
guy, saying "Aw man these songs were really good weren’t they...
These last couple ones especially were so worth waiting for." then
"OH MY GOD THIS GUYS COMING OUT GETTING
READY TO FIGHT" then a guy with a guitar case was about to
walk around and everyone came out, but it was like Aw man this
guy wasn’t in the mood to do this because he just got really upset,
it was in the final minutes of something and he got upset. I don’t
know why it showed that, but apparently I was ...? but before all
this me and that girl were really close. There was that part where
I was in the field and we were sitting there looking at TW who
was sitting there with a dog or something... And I shouted across
the field and said "I hear you're a husband now" and he goes "So
you guys are back? How was it?" "It was warmer weather... But
yeah." and I remember having her in my room we were sitting on
my bed... Place we went to was like a strange mall... And there
was LF... And he came out, and said "Hey"... He just started ran-
domly talking to me. We were probably friends from some time.
I was just sitting there with this girl and he came walking by say-
ing Hey. It was so weird though, ‘cause it wasn’t like Hey it’s LF...
He was one of my "group" and I hadn’t seen him for a while and
he was hanging out in one place that was from where everyone
else was hanging out. This place only had two other people that I
935
was really family with, but they were dancing and having a good
time... And this girl... We were sitting on the edge of my bed
for a while. There was also that part where my sister was walk-
ing through weird... Peeking through windows from across the
hall... Making sure we weren’t doing anything weird... We were
watching something on TV while sitting on the bed...looking for
something to interest her with. We weren’t together, so I’m try-
ing to figure out exactly what was our story...especially since at
the end she turns into a fucking mannequin or something... I
don’t think we kissed. I remember hugging. We seemed to trav-
el a lot during the dream...weird places... Weird construction site
things... There was a really nice place we were overlooking at one
time at night... We stayed at a really nice hotel at one point. I
mainly remember from after the party I brought her to my Lon-
donberry room, we sat on the edge of my bed and started watch-
ing TV... Okay, yeah I remember putting my arm around her...
Sitting in a chair... I’m really confused ‘cause I don’t know what
our relationship was... I just put my arms around her and remem-
ber thinking it was very forward of me... And she didn’t reject
it... And I was just holding on to her... It wasn’t rude or lusty... I
still didn’t know how she would respond. I think she was kind
of surprised... But I don’t remember what happened before this.
Were we working with each other? knew each other but not in
this way. And I was definitely showing signs of romantic inter-
est. It’s confusing... When I yelled to TW. “I hear you're a hus-
band now, huh." I noticed he was now looking down at his dog,
looking and laughing and talking to his dog, and I thought "Uh-
hhhh,” and I remember the look on her face next to me, it was
like "Ahh, that sucks, now he's talking to his dog and didn't hear
you." She didn’t say that, but the look on her face said as much.
We were looking online, checking out the missions that we were
doing. The weird part was LF, when he was walking around, and
he said "Heyyy, you guys are back!? Come on down and do this,”
and I said "Yeaaah, I'll get to that." It wasn’t even strange to see
him walking around.
“CLAPPER”
06/24/2014 | 2:04 PM
• Someone said “My parents’ opinions are not wrong just because
they’re not the ones I have...” Then I heard people clapping around a
campfire. It was a hallucination.
938
“READ MY FISTS”*
06/24/2014 | 3:26 PM
Having to read my fists since... Every fifteen sixteen minutes I
would write something on my fists... My book should be called
"Rip them all apart... Ripthemallapart." Hangy halloween deco-
rations. "Are all of these... ours? Or are we borrowing some of
them?"
939
“SLOPE”*
06/25/2014 | 3:31 PM
Place kind of sloped up a bit... Playing around with the carts... In
the driveway... I pushed them... Making comments to myself over
and over again... Thirteen... Angles... Pattern...
940
“SNEAK”
06/26/2014 | 7:52 AM
At the end I was at the B’s house. The guy I was with... Bryant?
Had to sneak around into the house to let me in. I showed up
there and thought I knew this was going to happen. And while
we were going out there... There was a part about the head-
less statue. "Do they happen to have a statue in their place that
doesnt have something... Up to this part" "Yeah they don’t have
braces"(?) and then I went and looked... Right when I went up to
their house... A lion statue on the front of the path had its head
fall off... And I said "I knew it. That’s why I came here, I knew
it had fallen." It was very bizarre. Then I went inside... I remem-
ber lying around inside... Waiting for him while he went to the
garage... I sat there awkward. Something wrong with me going
into the garage. He didn’t want me around. Something weird.
Then he came out... I remember seeing a chart of all these peo-
ple with these weird names... I thought they were really weird.
"These are all their real names?" he said "Yeah." I remember when
he first came out he said "God bless something something." I for-
get what it was... But it was the name of the girl. It may not have
been god bless. It might have been Rest In Peace... I thought...
Did she die? But I don’t think I asked him... So he said "Yeah
they're all real names..." then I started this conversation about
how it’s so important that names are intriguing and interesting
and that I’m not really interested in everything else... "I don't
want the charlies and the something something... I want the" I
gave an example but I don’t remember what it was... I don’t know
why I was at the B’s house... Something I had to say... But what
the hell was happening earlier in the dream.
941
Okay... There was the part where I was in New Jersey. I was on
the stoop-ish thing, and the guys came and started interrogat-
ing me and my father and mother. I was getting ready to go on a
trip. A walk with my father? and they were going through those
books and telling them it was mine, I said "Those are my moth-
ers" and ripped it out of their hands and maybe got a little violent
with them, "Put it down, it’s not yours, stop looking through it"
quite aggressively. That name written on the stoop looked kind
of like Casseiopeia. But it wasn’t. Had that same similar style...
The girl who died... Had a lot of is, ys, es, like Leviyey. I was
looking at that while whoever went inside to get me permission...
Reasoning with the people to let me in, since I wasn’t allowed in,
I was expatriated from a lot of places... I don’t know why the os-
tracism. I don’t remember what happened when going out with
my dad. I was trying to get him to... I had some kind of food that
was sitting there for a long time... What was that... I remember
there being a dish... Something with TV? there was a really long
part like this that I can remember. Also something about the
mall. But it’s so foggy... Yeah I remember MB... And maybe JP...
And maybe some people from church. I’m not sure who came
barging into our house... Not officers... Not old... Early twen-
ties. They were interrogating everyone and treating me extreme-
ly unfairly... They caught me for something but it wasn’t what
they thought it was... I hadn’t done anything wrong. Me and...
What's his name... Whoever I was with... When he got back out
we got into a long talk about the importance of names and how
when we're children we look for names we're intrigued by... We
used some examples. Some sounded less like names than like ti-
tles... Like ‘Motor Man’. Stuff like that. "When we were little we
look for the motor man... And them this guy and this guy... And
then when we're older we realize how important that was" and
we were just saying weird things like that and the importance of
names. How it really exercised the imagination or something.
I seem to recall a dying animal... tending to some dying animal...

It seems it was at the beginning of my dream... Maybe a different
dream altogether... Like in the middle of the night... So many
weird...
“DEVIL AMONG US”
06/27/2014 | 1:34 AM
(RECAP OF DREAMS I didn’t GET ON MY CAMERA)
Beautiful Cards + Devil Among Us
[...]
944
“MOUTH OF GRASS”
06/27/2014 | 3:58 PM
Really weird scene where that cop showed up. I beat down that
lady... And stuffed her mouth full of grass. Then I laid in the
grass myself and acted really naturally...and that’s where the cop
showed up... Maybe not... Maybe it was a punk guy that did that
to a lady and I was just watching... But later on a guy was going
on filming... And he came up to me and asked me (some funny
questions?) —— “Mannn I don’t know why those cops didn’t
come up and talk to me. I was in a perfect pose and I was just
sitting there waiting for them." I’m pretty sure that much of the
thing I was just talking about was done in an attempt to help
some girl... Don’t know what it accomplished. At the end I was
in this building and I was cleaning... There was this band and at
the end we were doing a setlist... A song. It was unusual though. I
was just laying on the grass when the cop came up, and he didn’t
even do anything, and I was lying in a particular way... And there
was a little girl going around and I was trying to help her out...?
945
“PRIDE AND E-MAIL
SYNDROME”
06/30/2014 | 3:28 PM
There was that weird scene at the end where I was lying there
reading something... Asia came over and started putting all these
things on me. While talking about catching a butterfly. My mom
kept calling pokemon by the wrong name... Saying "Why didn’t
Asia get pokemon?" "Because that would cost her xxxx to get a
3DS and to her it’s not worth it" and then Asia was setting stuff
around me... She threw some juice cap... Or straw... On me and
lit it on fire, saying "Mooove"... And then said "Sorry, I didn't
mean to do it, but I can't access it from here" and I said "But I
don't feel like moving" and the fire started climbing up and it
was going to burn me alive. THere was that comic I was look-
ing at where it just showed a guy on a cliff who was just stand-
ing there... And then in the next one it showed a man holding
his breath and said ‘Asphyxiating’. It was supposed to be funny,
but I didn’t get it... I didn’t know whether he was upset or some-
thing... Then there was something else I looked at that said. Then
there was another comic that said something weird like "Pride
& Email Syndrome"... I forget... And the guy was about to do a
lot of things. "I’m about to do a lot of things due to pride and
email syndrome.” It was like some heroic thing they do where
they start flipping out and say a bunch of things they later re-
gret... And I thought Whoa , that makes sense that exists... So
yeah my mother kept calling the wrong pokemon names... And I
thought "WHY DO YOU KEEP CALLING THEM THAT?"
and I said "That’s not the name of the game, that’s one of the
users..." and I was trying to think to say "That’s like trying to refer
946
to another game as THIS" but the topic changed. We were at a

picnic site somewhere in the mountains later.
I remember sitting there with Asia and my mother was talking

about all the things she managed/objectives when we were grow-
ing up... Related to how overprotective and restrictive they were
as parents. It was frustrating while I was listening to her... I re-
member saying in a stern voice"That's not normal. You're not
supposed to protect us from that stuff... You're not supposed to
try to keep it away from us. You don’t realize how psychotic you
sound right now" she said "I'm glad I did it and I'll still do it"
"You don’t realize how psychotic you sound" and then she flip-
pantly said "I guess nottttt."
I was at some weird campsite in the woods; a clearing with a pic-

nic table. When Asia was setting that fire on/around me, it was
when we were up on the deck of the house we are living in now.
I’m not sure what went on in the campsite though. Something
strange. There was one other setting, but I can't remember it well.
I remember freaking out in a doctor's office. I had an appoint-

ment. I remember getting ready to cause a scene. Me and my dad
were talking for a while... I remember wanting him to sit in a cer-
tain seat so if I stand up and start storming out because they were
being stupid then I would be able to leave easily, and I said "If I
get up and leave just leave with me" I don’t remember what—but
I was anticipating them to be stupid.
“CREEPER”*
07/03/2014 | 2:35 PM
My father and I went to the store. What was that thing I was
looking for... There were those things on the top row and I drew
it to people's attention: “Why does it stop at X? Why is this
the last letter? Why does it carry over to the next aisle and then
there’s nothing there?” I was looking to get a job. We were walk-
ing through the mall. My father said: "There’s Spencer’s. How
about Spencer’s." Then I responded "You kidding? It looks cool
at a glance but then you want to kill all the stupid idiots that
come in every single day," and he said "I guess so, huh." Then we
took a peek in there and I was looking at the posters. Then I
looked at other potential places. But I think Spencer’s is the lo-
cation that soon turned into a supermarket. I was looking on the
top of the aisle, but I remember early on when we were there this
guy threw something to us. It was something weird, and he start-
ed making weird small talk, and it was very nervous and strange.
While he did it, he did it another time about ten minutes later,
then another time about ten minutes after that. Then I made him
aware "You know, that's kind of weird right? Why are you talking
to us?" I finally asked him, then thought maybe I shouldn’t have
said anything, then went up to the front desk and reported him
to the guy working. Then I remember when the guy asked "Can
I help you with something, sir?" and I said "Yeaaaaaaaaaah,” and
I turned around to see if the guy was still in view and I could see
him talking to my father, and then I delayed for like a minute.
It just felt like a really long time. I was just staring, wondering
"Should I say something... is this fine? Is this under control? I
have my suspicions, but should I say something?" And then I
looked back at the other guy who worked there and he was just
948
waiting for me to say something. He kept looking past me to see

what I was looking at, but then he was looking at me, waiting
to know what I’m doing. Then I said "Yeahhh, I’d like to report
that guy over there. He's wearing a purple track suit and is very
thin. He has been acting very suspicious since we arrived here.”
And then the man at the counter said "Okay, alright." And then I
looked and thought "Oh no... It looks like my dad is helping him
get away." Then the guy got up slowly and started moving faster
and then moving faster down the hall, and then I said "The one
in the purple jumpsuit," and my dad was helping the man go in-
to the hall and escape after I reported him and it really sucked. I
just remember the guy.
The part with all the guns and stuff too, and I was being chased
through the building because of guns, I don’t remember how I
got out... But I remember at the very end... Getting ready to talk
about it in my book. And I was thinking at the time that Ive had
to write "The only way I ever escape is going through door af-
ter door after door doing the same thing... And the only reason I
never do anything different... The only reason I got out is because
the guy showed up and shot the other guy." What was that weird
thing I... There was some kind of... that guy was just weird... I said
"Let’s look at the deli meats. What kind of meat do they have?”
“ZOMBIE CHASE”
07/04/2014 | 6:35 AM
Chased by zombie-like people at the pool. And the girl with a
foreign name, I was calling her a continent or something (not
Asia). Then there was a guy who kept thinking he was... He
thought he was different... All these people thought people were
different people than they were... Then he did something to his
hair... What was that water zombie thing following me...Some-
thing was following me slowly from acre to acre... Then there was
Uncle Jamie... And a part I was at a party. He was leaving. He
made some comments... About keeping in touch... So there was a
girl. A girl showed up at the house. Yeah I had a date going on...
Then there was also the part where a couple people from my old
youth group showed up. My father was upstairs trying to look
cool, talking about video games, "Hey I just did this" then one
of the boys said "What's that from?" What happened with me
and the girl... We never went on a date... I remember her arriving,
but I got swept up in the other dream part. I remember trying
to sneak around trying not to let those guys know I had a date. I
had a really good time with her. I just forget what she was like.
950
“THE GAME OF CLOCKS”
07/05/2014 | 6:41 AM
I was going around in that circle, and that guy that I was with al-
ready fell on his ass, and so I’m sitting there being pulled around
the circle by that girl who didn’t really like doing this, but then
she thought "This isn't bad" and it was like we were skating...
it was a big thing... Going around a circle like a clock, and she
says "Oh, it IS like a clock!" and she took my hands and started
spinning me around the center and then at some point she let
go and I dropped HARD on my ass... And Kenny was in the
room? And he said "SIX-THIIIRTY" am I remember saying
"You could have waited ‘til 6:46, you belligerent tard," (my exact
words) and then he starts cracking up... She had just let go... It
was just a weird dream. What was she afraid of ... Afraid of some-
thing... Then there was all that food that was older...I don’t know,
but I was spending the night at one of their houses...
Asia came over and we were talking, and she got really freaked
out by something specific I said, because it was something that
someone else made her do. I don’t know, but she wouldn’t let me
mention it. I don’t remember what it was. I was sitting with Ken-
ny eating something. Me and Kenny were doing something fun-
ny. I forget the whole point of our hang out. But I remember ask-
ing about some food, and his mother said "No way would I get
the old/day-after version.” I don’t know what it was, but it was
something that was a little more stale. Kind of like how they sell
the bread and pastries for cheaper the day after at bakeries they’re
made. I remember riding in a car of some sort. What was that an-
imal...It was an animal. There was a lot that I can’t remember that
was really funny, weird and dark... Me and Asia were trying to es-
951
cape... It was really dark. From some place... Me and Kenny were
just hanging out for a while... We had a talk about something...
And I think I sang for a little bit. I did something and he correct-
ed me... I forget.
Yeah there was something , when me and Kenny, he was trying

to get me to sing something. Something about my throat was re-
ally a problem, I forget what was going on, but I was really sensi-
tive. And I didn’t want to explain myself but I couldn’t sing and
I don’t remember exactly what happened. I remember when we
were going around that circle that girl had a lot of trepidation.
She didn’t like skating. Me and Kenny and that girl were all on
skates. We were just in a little area, maybe ten feet in diameter,
probably. Maybe even less. I was on the outside, she was on the
outside. And she winded me around by her hands. So it couldn’t
have been that big of a circumference. I’m not sure. It’s like she
was in the middle and didn’t like skating, and she was holding on
to kenny, and I was trying to be funny so I went skating fast cir-
cles around two of them. Wish I remembered more of this.
“TRAIN-CAR SLEEPER”
07/07/2014 | 2:29 PM
Sleeping on these little train cars that were going out over the
ocean, very small, and I kept switching between train cars like I
was pausing. Inventory. Like that kind of switch. I kept changing
to one car... (ILLEGIBLE?) There was this part where I was in a
room and I had all these little things... These little balls of some-
thing... And something happened and they got exposed to the
air... But then they turned into hard little balls and I took pic-
tures of them and I was looking for a label to send the pictures to
the company to tell them what happened. I don’t know why.
I'm trying to remember what happened in that room where those

pieces of stuff turned into hard snot-hard-like balls. They were
called something snot-related. But there was a little room we
were hanging out in. I don't know who was there. Feel like there
was a little kid too. I feel I can remember showing a little kid how
to do something.
I recall some kind of nursery setting and there was a girl there.
Something weird she was doing. I remember thinking I was rid-
ing on that train across the water. I know I was with a little kid,
but before that I had overheard someone talking about a guy
who was about to die soon but he had a good attitude about it,
even though he knew he was going to die. I can hardly remember
any details.
953
“TRIPLE WEB”
07/08/2014 | 7:42 AM
At the very end of the dream I was outside by the bus and I was
looking at a triple-spider web, at least three webs, an—so it was
extra sturdy... I was getting a little caught in it... I stayed up late
with Florentin. I woke up and his parents were there and they
were talking and walking through the halls... And I remember
them saying "We could hear you guys were arguing until one in
the morning." and they were blaming him, don’t know why. I
was pretending to be asleep on the couch... But I wasn’t. I had
the blankets pulled over my head. I forget what I did but I came
out into the main room. It was Florentin, but he had Sam’s par-
ents. Maybe because I never met florentin’s parents since he lived
alone. I remember waking up, then I was lying on a bed out in
the hall. We were up all night working on something for a real-
ly long time. Took so long. Then I came out in the hall and pre-
tended I Was asleep when I noticed his parents woke up ‘cause I
didn’t want to have to talk to them. I felt funny, and so me and
Florentin were just lying on a bed in the middle of the hall. He’s
sitting on the edge of it. I’m covered in these blankets and only
my eyes were peaking out this crack. Then the parents walk by
and said "You guys were so loud last night. We heard you arguing
until 1 AM" and I thought in my mind "That was four AM" but
I didn’t say anything,and I remember someone asked something
about me or to me, but I pretended that I wasn’t awake. I forget.
Florentin was doing something weird. He pushed me over into
the corner of the bed. That was near the very end. Well, we went
outside and were sitting next to that little trailer thing. I think it
was a trailer. Then there was that spider web. "Wow, that's a real-
ly thick piece right here. This is what holds up the entire struc-
954
ture" and then put my hand on it and realized it was three strands
of silk. All so close together that they became one. “Wow that
holds up the entire thing. That’s a really intelligent spider to have
tripled it up like that to keep the structure standing" I just re-
member looking thinking how interesting it was. I also remem-
ber something about birds. I think I let loose a bird and it was
flying around their yard. I was keeping an eye on it too. It was do-
mestic, not wild. Also something to do with Tarot cards. I think
I thought "Hey now that I have a lot of money I should look for
the Visconti-Sforza deck," or something about that deck, since I
was always attracted to that art. There was something creepy go-
ing on in the house. I don’t remember. Why do I feel like I was
on another raft again? Drifting down a stream?
“KNIFE BROTHERS”
07/09/2014 | 1:32 PM
I got stabbed, and my brother got stabbed with the knife that
went through me. It went through me then also hurt my brother.
I died instantly, yet he lived for several years thereafter before dy-
ing himself. I’m not sure exactly how we got hurt.
956
“PHOTOGRAPHS”
07/10/2014 | 3:33 PM
At the very end I was sitting on a deck looking through pho-
tographs on a portable device—photos of a party that took place
a decade or so ago. He was a bit younger. And I remember I was
just sitting there. Then my dad came out and I put it down like
I was embarrassed or something. I was just smoking a cigarette.
Then I realized that I had almost smoked the entire thing with-
out putting it out, which I thought "Oh no" ‘cause I’m trying to
slow down and only smoke half at a time.
There was also some bus, toward the end of the dream, with peo-
ple sitting on... was there a store?
957
“A-STAR ROBOT”
07/12/2014 | 5:28 AM
Some bizarre stuff with me and my father driving. Then we went
to church. What was that thing I did at church? I came back and
was in the Londonberry utility room, doing something, trying
to fix my hair, and there were some robots. An ‘A-Star’ robot.
I don’t remember what it was, but in the end I ripped off the
face of another robot and said ``You don't even have a face?!"
to another one. And he said "Feel free to sacrifice me, use me
as you will,” “I'm not sacrificing you, you're an A-Star robot. I’m
not planning on giving you up anytime soon. I forget what hap-
pened, but he came back with another guy and they were help-
ing out with a station. It was like all these robot things. Getting
ready to go back to church. I had just come back from church
and I hadn't eaten anything for some reason and I was really get-
ting hungry and I hadn’t showered and my hair was ridiculous. I
had this weird outfit on. It was like wool. White thick shirt. RE-
ALLY thick. Like a blanket almost. Underneath this jacket. And
this long chain necklace. Like a real chain hanging from my neck.
I was getting ready to go out that way in public. Me and my fa-
ther were driving for a long time. I was worrying about someone
bullying us?
We were in connection with someone far away. There was a guy

in a field my dad was telling me about. And I got pissed "Man I
would have liked to go see him" and I remember telling my mom
about him after someone told me about him. It was a guy tear-
ing some stuff apart in a field and I thought "That guy sounds
GREAT. I’d like to go see him." What was that guy doing? He
was doing something ridiculous like tearing some bodies, robots
958
or animals apart in a field. There WAS something about animals.

A giant animal that came at me and I had to do something really
unusual to keep it away. Also remember something about my
crotch. Oh God, I think I either had a girl's crotch or no crotch
at all. I forget which one. I was looking in the mirror and got re-
ally grossed out.
“WHITE COMBS”
07/12/2014 | 1:32 PM
In the last couple minutes of my sleep I was thinking about
sleep, thinking about waking up. I was thinking about listing
something... and something about White Combs... something
about WAKE UP listed. I think I was listening to music really
loud—some Bollywood soundtrack.
960
“BLOODPOUR”
07/12/2014 | 5:54 PM
I was lying back on my back and something started pouring a
bunch of blood over my head, while reciting some sort of sen-
tence, "Blalalalala over the something something,” and then I
tried to figure out what it could possibly mean. I realized "I am
the head who something pours something over the head." I don’t
know what it was saying, but it was a really bizarre conclusion I
came to and at first I thought something completely different be-
fore realizing that the opposite was true. I was just lying back and
someone started pouring blood over my head, and it took me
around thirty seconds to be able to translate what it said in a dif-
ferent language. I didn’t realize it was blood at first until think-
ing about what they said.
961
“PIT”
07/18/2014 | 1:54 AM
I was swinging over this pitch dark pit, on these platforms, and
there was a star that appeared at one point and I couldn’t get to
it due to where I was, and I had another objective and I thought
"dammit" I couldn’t get to it... but I had bad placement. I just
couldn’t risk it. It was underneath one of those floating plat-
forms... but I don’t know how to describe it. At the end I remem-
ber I was sitting on a giant bird... or... I got saved... by a girl on the
other side... she didn’t even know I fell into the black lava stuff...
I landed once... I bounced... I only hit the surface once... so some-
how she came in and saved me... and I thought Wow that was
close, thank you. Then I was thinking about how I keep playing
this...coming one after another like these people... who come in
acting like "evil knight" causing these kinds of scenes. But I kept
switching places... —— but the map we were reading. That girl
was always like chained to me. We were kept away in some kind
of cell.
[Transcription incomplete]
Collecting yellow Buddhas?
962
“EYEBROWS”
07/19/2014 | 6:27 AM
Girlfriend liked something I did with my eyebrows? Came by
while I was sleeping and said she would be with me later... and
she would sleep beside me. ——. I remember going into a store
trying to help her... trying to show her how to do something.
I think we ended up playing a game or something. Me and my
family had gone into a store and we were looking for something
on the floor... that had been lost... I’m not sure. (R)
I was lying in bed. She came on by the building and saw me

lying there and said something about the way my hair and eye-
brows looked, and she came over and said "If you keep them like
that... then I'll be back in a little while," then she was going to lay
down... go to sleep for the night. I said "Okayyy.” So later, eventu-
ally, she came in and I just remember lying next to her thinking...
thinking in my mind "Is she going to make sleepwalking noises?
Talking in her sleep?" I remember thinking those things. And I
said "If you start making noises I’m going to kick you out,” but I
wasn’t serious. Well, I was, kind of. But at the same time I wasn't.
I remember when we were in the store... I don’t know what kind
of place it was... my parents were there, too, and my girlfriend
was standing with us... and we were —— at something else... and
she stayed with them. She was just very unusual when it came
to the world. She wasn't familiar with anything in the world. So
when I went off I thought she was following me, but she wasn't,
and I saw her just standing by my parents, staring at me from afar.
I said "What are you doing? Come on over here,” and she said
"Okay," like she didn’t know when to follow me and when not to.
I forget who she was. I'm trying to remember who... it was a re-
963
ally cute romantic dream, though. It wasn't very romantic, but it

was cute. It ended in a really strange way that had like nothing to
do with any of these other things. I remember when I woke up I
was speaking to myself but my camera was across the room, so by
the time I got my camera I had completely forgotten the ending.
I think it had something to do with lightning.
I remember at some time during the dream I was hearing an old

Gravedancers song, or some of the ones with Bryant that came
later after the project ended, like “Joanna Bandana.”
“HOW MUCH FREEDOM”
07/20/2014 | 2:00 PM
How Much Freedom Do I Have in My Fathers Dream? Purple
Beard Stuck in Floor / Game With Other Guys Having Facial
Hair
A thing I forgot to say about that last dream. I was talking to

my father about collecting. Maybe not my father... I was saying
"I don’t even understand what the point is about getting another
one when that will end up being just another one... Why do I
even keep getting things at this point, because that will be just
another thing, and its value is diminished with each addition,
because it is now just another thing added to the collection, a
smaller fraction, so why even bother."
965
“GUM”
07/26/2014 | 6:49 AM
—— was in a chair and he was trying to beat me. There was that
thing where I went to the theme park and that guy that I liked
the most got out like half way through the trip, and everyone
——, and then we came back in the van at the end and see there
and say "man there was something there like twelve hours ago"...
then I saw that old lady was sitting in the seat in front of me... she
was like from a movie... or some old tv character, and she was all
flattered by when people would say something to her... and I was
holding a giant, giant piece of chewed up gum up in the palm of
my right hand, just holding it... but what was I going to see about
the guy sitting on the chair who got yelled at. There was some
dark stuff going on at the end... like I went to a parking lot at the
end and I was.
I woke up to all of these flies all over me... bugs... when I woke
up. But somebody was tied to a chair and I was pissed off ‘cause
they were taking it out on me... and then there was also that part
where SS was telling me all these stupid roundabout ways to get
my money back. Something REALLY stupid and frustrating. I
traveled for so long though with just a group of people.
Oh, I forgot to mention in that dream I had earlier... There was

that part where I was a young child and I was like... three years
old and people were watching me as I walked down a long cer-
emonial carpet in a hall... and I was making these boxing move-
ments, as if I was entering a ring, and everyone was watching me.
I just remember smiling upon myself... weird... and I remember
sitting at this table with a REALLY, REALLY tall kid. I was a
966
kid myself... and I think he hurt himself and he was crying, and I
looked at him thinking "That's weird, he's so tall and he's crying."
“DIMENSIONS”
07/26/2014 | 2:57 PM
At the end of the dream I had been traveling between dimen-
sions.
TAKE OFF PANTS BETWEEN WORLDS PART
HARD TO TELL WHAT I'M ACTUALLY SAYING...
There was also a part where I said "Goodbye, mom," and I actual-
ly called her ‘mom’ and got emotional right as I was leaving.
968
“MAGAZINE”
07/27/2014 | 6:20 AM
At the end of the dream I was thumbing through a magazine. I
think that my father and maternal grandparents were there... and
I was going through it, and then it said ? in the middle... and I
pulled out a weird faded blue shirt with a giant glow in the dark
footprint on it... It’s crazy if it wasn’t an XL. I don’t know. I’m
like "dad this looks like that other shirt you have with those cir-
cles" and he said "It does! I'll wear anything ——?" and I said
"Sure just take this, it's too big for me." I feel like Florentin was in
one of my dreams. I don't remember which one though. I know
I was in the mall for quite a while in the last dream... I know I
got in trouble with something social. There was a tiny bit with
Asia at the end. Or maybe her name just came up while my father
and I were talking. I was trying to get a hold of someone though.
That girl was apologizing, saying "I didn't win ?" She sounds re-
morseful, because I was complaining over something I was just
given and she's saying how she didn’t have a hand in it, even
though she did. Yeah. Think this metal band with old teenagers...
the one on the right looks SO young and the one on the left is
brushing his teeth... (said "jeez"?)
So there was another part at the end of the dream where I was
standing on my street in New Jersey and this giant fucking croc-
odile came walking down the street with a bunch of people sur-
rounding it... or a couple who were associated with it... I don’t
even know. It was probably like twelve feet HIGH... that’s not
even how long it was like from head to tail... it came walking
down the street slowly and it was freaking me out,and came
969
walking up to the house and I remember it sticking its head up

to the second story window. I don’t remember what happened
with it. I seem to remember there being some other animal in the
dream. Not huge though.
“ROCKET”
07/27/2014 | 2:47 PM
At the end of this dream I was laying there... Asia was in my room
for a little while, I was asking her a question about something I
saw in her room... like if it came that way, or if she hand select-
ed it... and I felt weird... she bought it that way... and I thought
it represented her personality, but it was just that way. And she
saw it on the shelf... And then don’t you want me baby came on
the radio and I went "ehhhhhh" ‘cause I didn’t like the song. I re-
member that really old picture of a rocket... not launched or any-
thing.
• THIS IS THE WEIRD HALLUCINATION PART

"E.T.R.A."
971
“SHARP”
07/28/2014 | 6:36 AM
The premise of this dream was that Isaac had cancer. It was just
sort of strange. We went to see a movie together. At the end of
the movie I remember sitting there. Everyone else had left. It was
just us two. I think Jacob was sitting to my left during the movie
and he felt out of place, so I did something nice to make him
feel... less out of place... and there was a guy sitting at the very
front of the theater at a table and he was sharpening something...
I just remember him looking up... he had something like a knife...
something sharp... and he got up and started chasing after us, so
we took off running. I remember there was a girl... a little girl, or
a few of them, and we were running through the church when
we were running out, somehow... but yeah... I remember seeing
her sitting there on the side... there was something unusual about
her... like she had known me but had forgotten about me now.
She was maybe seven or eight. I went over and gave her some-
thing—I’m not entirely sure—but she didn’t remember me at all
and I knew that she would, sooner or later, but I had to escape. It
was really weird to see her... like, she was a part of... I don’t know.
972
“BROWN SHIRT”
07/29/2014 | 5:33 AM
At the end of the dream there was that part where there was a
one brown shirt among a bunch of pink shirts. Like shiny ver-
sions. Then there was that part where I was trying to get advice
from some company... or some —— people... they were showing
how they managed to get through some crisis. Geez that sounds
boring... no animals.
973
“LIZARD”
07/29/2014 | 12:56 AM
A short, lucid dream: Nanny and Poppop were over in this weird
house. There was a lizard going around the floor, and I was saying
"We're off to see the LIZZAARD!" in a really creepy manner
while I was walking around on my knees, and Nanny was over
there laughing. Earlier she was clutching onto something. I re-
member I came in and said:
"Lizard?"
“Snake? Oh, it's a tiger statue.”
Poppop asking about the milk.
974
“TWO-SECOND PENDULUM”
07/30/2014 | 11:44 AM
The "two-second pendulum" which was KM, and singing the Al-
addin song, don’t know which Aladdin song it was, but it was
supposed to be one. Those guys caught me off guard... those guys
I had been talking to on the couch this whole time. We were just
talking... There was a black guy on the couch who was kind of
like someone I remember at my church. There were three or so
guys there... talking with me (one of them indirectly) but it was
a big place... but we were just sitting there on the side... ‘cause
there were people scattered around in different groups through-
out the room. That’s right... There was a guy dressed as a chef...
and he looked like Anil Kapoor, but he was acting like the soup
nazi from Seinfeld. He was singing a love song, but with a lot of
references to cheese and dairy in it. So... a famous story about...
string cheese swings? A lot of people were doing that. Everyone
in this line was supposed to be like a character and had to sing
their song with references to what you expect them to do. I just
remember at one point after a lot of people were singing... KM
came and brushed up and sat down next to me really close, and
I thought "Geez... hello? What's this?" and then the music start-
ed up and she started singing, and I’m looking around thinking
"Okay." And then the guy behind me hands me a microphone,
and I say "What? Nonononononono." they wanted me to do a
freaking duet and it was an Aladdin song apparently. And wow,
I botched it... I sang out of tune so many times... there was a
time where instead of singing in harmony with what she was
singing during the last chorus, I was actually singing in 5ths...or
3rds... I matched it perfectly and went up the same amount every
time... so it was in perfect harmony... but 3rds or 5ths... and it
975
was REALLY weird... I made so many errors... It was really weird.

And then she was swinging on something that was... white... and
she kept hitting me when she swung to one end and I thought
"geez, you're like a pendulum." Then I looked at the clock and
said "Okay, you're a two second pendulum, exactly,” and she was
blindfolded and laughing. She kept hitting me again and again
on her way down because I was right there in her way, but she
was doing that on purpose.
I have no idea what the context was, but I remember walking

away from the table and coming back to where I was before with
those guys. And I just started carrying on a conversation with
one of the guys about eye color... and there was a girl... ahh they
were asking about this one girl. He goes "Hey Tendon, what do
you think of that girl who wears this?" and I said "You mean the
one with all the eccentric necklaces?" "Yeah" "Why?" "I was talk-
ing to her the other day and she was telling me how she didn't
feel pretty or think she was pretty. And I asked her why she goes
through all the time to do this and that, and she said she just
does it and it has nothing to do with anything," and he wanted
to know if I thought she was pretty, if she was trying to be, or if
she wasn’t trying... And I said "She thinks that? Well that's weird
she's saying that to you. She's just trying to ——." and he made
a comment about her eye color and we started talking about eye
colors... and one of the women to the right of him joined in...
I said "I like brown eyes'' and he said "aaaah I've had enough of
those." and the woman near him said "I like green eyes", but she
had green eyes herself. So they were sitting on the couch... I was
sitting on a stool in front of the couch. We were just laughing
about something. But I seem to remember being with these oth-
er people at the beginning of the dream... like the girl they were
talking about... like in a classroom setting... but as time went on
it became less like a classroom, because there were older peo-
ple there... Maybe it was like a college thing. There was one guy
there who was kinda strange... just like someone's strange dad.
He was just very conservative and the face he made while he
walked around is something I remember thinking was kind of
funny. I think he made a comment about something I was do-
ing and I simply did not know how to respond to it... because
it was sooo conservative sounding. He sounded so uninformed
about the changing times. But I think I do remember that girl
they were talking about... from the beginning. Because I was talk-
ing to a bunch of people and she was really eccentric. Had dif-
ferent jewelry she was showing off. Not my type, but I remember
her as being kinda funny. I was so freaked out when they handed
me the microphone... I thought "oh my god. I'm not only sup-
posed to sing? I'm supposed to sing duets?" and I could hear very
quietly on the speaker , I could hear what I’m supposed to be
singing, ‘cause it was a karaoke track, but they had the parts real-
ly low in the mix so you could tell where you needed to be. The
girl I was singing with never said anything about me messing up...
but it was funny, ‘cause she did really good and I did horrible. I
did it very low... baritone and raspy. Which did NOT go with
the character at all... not only that but it did not sound like my
stuff usually sounds... sounds like I was feigning a manly voice.
But it wasn't that... I was just unsure of what to do.
“DEER HEAD”
07/30/2014 | 1:19 PM
In that dream I was going up the stairs, following after my moth-
er, and she asked "Do you want to see that movie thing while
you're here?" and I said "Okay, whatever." and then dad passed
us by, coming down the stairs, and he was laughing about some-
thing... and then I turned down the hall and saw a deer head
sticking out of a doorway. And Asia was trying on prom dresses.
And she said "It didn't jingle" "Okay...Wait... what? It didn't jin-
gle? Like making a noise?" "Yeah, all the other ones made noises.
So they said if it doesn't jingle it’s probably not the best one to
get." then I said "Everyone else is going to be jingling, so if you
find one you really want it doesn't make sense to not get it just
because of that reason." But I didn’t like it anyway. What was
that thing when I was in the audience... There were a bunch of
old men and people with pikachu ears. Something like a video
camera, maybe. Something to do with one of my problems, too.
Not sure which. I remember sitting on my computer for a long
time in my dream. I was trying to watch something. I was watch-
ing something to my left while I was trying to get something
done, but I couldn’t watch it actually ‘cause it was subtitled, so I
thought screw that.
978
“RHODE ISLAND RHUBARB
EMERALD PIE”
08/05/2014 | 1:21 PM
Rhode Island Rhubarb Emerald Pie... Chanting... Ignis... Canoe
on the swamp.
979
“7UPONEUNDERGRAD”
08/06/2014 | 12:26 PM
I was just walking down the street, near the parking lot of the
Dollar Theater/Drowsy Poet area. Not Drowsy Poet, but in that
area, further down though, in Candlers Mountain Station. I was
with my father, he went walking back to the car. It was 11/12 at
night... almost no one around. Hearing a group of college kids
walking around in the parking lot too... down the sidewalk... so
I went over to the soda machine, and I remember wondering
"What's going to happen if we cross paths? How are we going
to interact?" and I was thinking of different things to do... that
would make me look cool or interesting... so I went over there
and thought "Okay I'l get a drink from the soda machine" and
one girl approached me while I was standing there at the ma-
chine... I remember saying "Is this even working? Is this even on?"
talking to myself, ‘cause I walked up to it and didn’t see any light.
Then she walked up and said a few lines that I don’t remem-
ber. I forget what her name was. I’m pretty sure she told me her
name first. Maybe she didn’t. We were just talking for a few min-
utes about nothing. She was just kinda flirting with me. She said
"Will you call me by what my email is?" "Huh?" then she reaches
into her pocket and pulls out a bunch of pieces of stuff... slips...
different things like a mix of credit cards... torn off pieces of lined
paper... receipts... and one of them had her email address writ-
ten on it... So I said "Sure okay" and she said "Really?" and I said
"Yeah, okay." and then I woke up. But I remember it... at first I
thought the first part of the email address was "yes@" which was
around the time I said yes to her request, but then when I looked
back at it I couldn’t make it out, so I was trying to figure out what
It said... and so I asked "What are these first two words?" Then
980
I corrected myself by saying "First two letters"... then right when

she was getting ready to say it I realized it said "1 Up" or "7 up" so
we ended up saying it at the same time. It was like ‘7uponeunder-
grad@nonzero(.com)" or "nonstandard(.com)’. I don't know if I
wrote it down on wordpad but I don’t remember what I wrote
now.
“BEETLES”
08/07/2014 | 12:57 PM
At the end there was that weird beetle thing, that later ... tried...
girlfriend. It was crawling all over my arm and wouldn’t get off.
So I saw a ladybug crawling on my arm too... So I took off the la-
dybug
"It ignores the ladybug, only to later pounce on it.”
Dropped into a pit...
I had Patrick's skull. And there were quotes about misfits written
all over my ceiling. It was a really odd room. And there was that
woman who... that word I don’t like to say. There was something
to do with her and that word, and she was going to take a shower.
There was something very interesting about her being dirty. Oh,
that sounds weird. But she got dirty somehow. I forget, but it was
really strange how it happened.
Then there was that other guyaathat biiig, big guy, who had a suit
and a giant backpack that launched projectiles. He was in the
shower, and it showed him while he was doing something, and I
was watching it somehow. And there were subtitles while I was
watching it... to know what was going on... and sometimes the
subtitles froze or disappeared for a few lines by mistake. I just re-
member...someone outside saying "Okay, it’s time to come out.
Times up." I remember him looking like he was about to shut off
the water... but instead he started doing something else... start-
ed readjusting his machine, which he brought into the show-
er with him, and something suddenly got stuck,and he started
yelling "No! No!" and something happened... and he shrunk...
982
and he was only four inches tall. And his response was "Well...
I guess I'll have to do this after the race/tournament" something
like that... like something he would not be able to do now, yet I
was like "Oh my god! It’s that guy! It’s the four inch guy that I've
known this whole time! It's his backstory! This is his backstory!
I’m watching! These are all of them! This is doing a GOOD job
showing how everything makes sense afterlal!" really weird. Then
there was that racing game I was playing... where I hit a wall and
was trying to turn and I was excited because I turned into this
one place I’m like "I turned into this... " and then I did "WHOA!
I Really Did!" ‘cause I got stuck on a wall and went right through
these pillars. It was like an old game... I didn’t think it was going
to work. Then I went back into my room. Then when I went
out I didn't know what the hell was going on... an outdoor party.
And there was this girl with a light blue shirt on... she was just
being kind of mean... she just had a big burden... I remember say-
ing that to her "You strike me as a person who has a big burden,
and it’s a true one..." and she cut me off before I could finish, cut
me off around the "big bur ——" and she got mad, saying "What
do you know about me? Who do you think you are?" something
like that... So. I was trying to sympathize though. And in my
mind I was thinking we all have our own burdens but they're
just different... but she was like "awww... dog hair." and had dog
hair on her... and I remember thinking "aww man she's obses-
sively clean" but at one point she did step in something and I
don’t remember what it was... I don’t remember where we found
the shower... The next thing I know we were just looking at this
weird radioactive looking house plant...
“PROTEIN POWDER SHAKES”
08/08/2014 | 5:17 AM
At the end of the dream there were those two kids talking... one
was like "what... Did you take Antivenin?" "Yeah" and then they
were talking about antivenin , and legroom, "You must under-
stand... the leg room...we call it what it is, because it’s a place
where it starts freezing with us, and starts making us aggressive,
anxious, and that right there right there means that you should
know what to expect when I start kicking you, and you shouldn’t
relax in that area with me... and" what the hell is going on.
Then there was also that part at Nanny/Poppop’s house... and I

remember looking through the fridge... and on the bottom shelf
there were about 6 or 7 different kinds of box mixes. Just differ-
ent cartons of... like powdered mix, for protein/strength shakes...
like ensure, but powdered form... and I asked “I don’t remember
having all of these... have you been mixing all of these into oth-
er stuff for me?" "Those aren’t you... those are for the baby." and
I kept thinking to myself 'Why aren’t they giving these to me? I
need to keep up my strength. Why are they giving these to the
baby?"
I forgot to mention the dream I had about three days ago... where
I was walking around at the end of a dream with a box, where in-
side of the box there were like two little men kissing.
984
“FIGURE”
08/09/2014 | 2:58 AM
That was really creepy at the end of this dream where that guy ...
where he knew I was coming and was going through all the dif-
ferent rooms and he knew "the quickest way to do this and get
this done... is to figure out the person... I know someone in this
room has a thing now... so instead of going back the normal way...
I know how to figure it out..." I forget what it was. But it was so
creepy.
985
“CORRIDORS”
08/10/2014 | 5:22 AM
Weird dream. Daniel was in my house... and EM? Yeah? Was
that her name? She was there... It was really weird... and then I
was thinking about going back to church, then thought "What
the fuck am I talking about?" when I was getting all ready.
Then there was that part where I was walking along this big
bridge. Yeah, I also remember seeing KH for a while too. He was
married, he had me trying to figure it out... There was that time
at the end where I was talking to Daniel by the computer. He
was getting ready to leave so he was unplugging his computer.
We were just hanging out. He was explaining "Yeah, this reminds
me of this," and he was telling the story of how this one actor
he read about ... he was comparing it to something I said, "Yeah,
this actor always acted like this... but then he never realized how
he was being perceived, and then when he died, his wife realized
it "That’s how he showed his love." And I thought that sounded
like Love Languages. So I said "That sounds like love languages"
and he didn’t say anything. And I said "Have you heard of love
languages?" and he didn’t say anything yet... he was still unplug-
ging his computer so I thought maybe he didn’t hear, or he didn’t
want to admit that he didn’t know. So I said "Love languages are
the...'' and he interrupted me, looking at me saying something
like "I KNOW what they are." and it was very blunt and mean...
like he didn’t want me to talk about them... I thought maybe
he had a bad experience with them from his past relationship or
something. And I felt bad, felt I looked like a jerk... and my par-
ents were nearby so I thought they would think that too. I was
really pissed off at Asia ‘cause she showed off my bedroom on-
986
line in a video, and showed off all these big pianos that I didn’t
even have... it was online saying "My brothers room." Yea I don’t
know what the deal was with church... There was also that stuff
about me wearing weird clothes. I was wearing so many hood-
ies and shirts... like a mint green light hoodie and then a pink
hoodie... then like a white button down shirt, then some other
kind of shirt over top of that... and it was really weird, and I re-
member walking down the street around church in the middle
of the night, I was talking to my mom. And I’m like "You see
what I’ve been wearing all this time!? Have you not noticed!?"
"Whoa I didn’t notice you’ve been wearing that" "YEAH! I've
been wearing it for like a week now!" I remember doing my wash
at one point when I heard I would be going somewhere. Put
everything aside and put it in the wash. Yeah... Long dream. It
was really weird seeing KH. I just remember walking around on
a really long bridge... and something else I did around there... the
bridges... What was it? There was also some time when I was in a
class. With a group of people. Pretty sure it wasn’t church... and I
was hiding my head. What was that thing about that really high
bridge? I did some sort of leap... this was around when I met up
with K. We were running from room to room... We were running
down all these corridors doing something very weird. I don’t re-
member who we were running from... and I remember I was kind
of suspicious. Thinking he wasn’t taking me in the right direc-
tion, like he would lead me back into everyone else... I was try-
ing to avoid so much, and I kept running into all these people I
knew.
Yeah I remember thinking to myself... when EM was going

around with me... "Ahh... should I hug her? Do we hug here? Or
no?" I also remember listening to a clip being played that Alex
was a part of... and I thought "that’s the band you tried to get me
to join!" and I thought "whoa that one guy is really good" don’t
remember who he was but remember thinking that... this is while

I was with EM. I remember also thinking I looked fat. Looked
into a mirror... I remember I had to explain my business model
to her... and I looked into the mirror when I was getting ready
to go to church and my mom was asking me something... and I
thought "Whoa, I look fat all of a sudden."
“CONVINCING”
08/10/2014 | 1:18 PM
It ended with me sitting at the table... me going "I can't see
through the lens of the camera... I can’t see what my picture will
look like... ‘cause I look like that guy from the Bollywood movie."
I was referring to rab ne bana di jodi .../ where he's trying to
look like an older guy. I had a mustache, suspenders, white shirt,
slicked back hair, and glasses... And before that I was sitting next
to my dad... or lying down with my feet spread out in the walk-
way. And there was something else when I was approached by...
There was that girl who dropped those dishes and then respond-
ed by saying "It’s great being awesome," and I wondered "Who...
is she referring to?" and then once when I completed a mission,
it popped up on the screen that I had completed it... and I even
got the bonuses... like the bonus was to have... someone... it said
like "Complete the mission while only using this line to con-
vince the person... or accidentally believe in this yourself or get
them to believe in it also... or only talk to the person who was
there who believed in this." I don’t know. And that time when
I was sitting with my dad at the table I got interrupted by him,
he wasn’t listening, and I knew someone else was watching, and
I felt embarrassed since they were watching and I just got inter-
rupted by my father... Not interrupted really... but we were talk-
ing, then he started talking to someone else, and never said any-
thing to me... I was lying there trying to fall asleep with my back
to the bench. Tha twas after moving tables to the other side... it
was a little outside eatery, everyone was just sitting there... and I
had my feet kicking off of it. I think they might have even been
in some peoples way... might have tripped some people up. Yeah
but then this girl... these two girls who were working there... they
989
were like me, but one was a waitress and serving the other girl... I
forget but she overheard something about how good the job was
or about how much it pays... or she commented on the girl who
worked there, saying "nice dress." And the next day she showed
up and now she was employed at the same place... and she came
and turned the building... she came out of the building, and said
"What!? Are you kidding? Now YOU work here?" and didn’t
sound nice about it. Then said "Lets show you how this is accom-
plished" then took like 20 plates from the other girl. And then all
of them slipped and she fell and did a massive pratfall... and the
other girl started laughing, and laughing, and it did a close up on
her face and she said "Sometimes it’s great being awesome," and
I couldn’t figure out how she meant that. Then she looked like
some tv actor or something, it froze on her face too much, and
I felt I was watching scenes for the next episode. I don’t know.
There was a part where I was carrying on conversations with a
guy at another table. And my father trusted me with something.
There was something where I was lying there... some part where
there was a guy on a bed. And a girl was with him, and the girl...
... oh and I also got rewarded... there was that time where I was
taking a picture and the girl came in the picture, and maybe that’s
when I got points for something? mission? I just remember her
poking up through the lens. She was playing a song back at me...
of MINE. Or something. But yeah there were these two people
on the bed, and the girl disappeared ‘cause she couldn’t wait any
longer... then another girl appeared... from the end of the bed...
and the guy or someone else said "Man... you’re on perfect time.
Unfortunately... the other girl just left" or "You’re right on time"
and the other girl goes "Damnit" and the guy had just come to
a realization about something... I don’t remember what it was...
but they were just lying on the bed talking to... me and several
other people in this room. They were sending all of their chil-
dren... teenage age... and me I guess. Sending us out to do dif-

ferent specific errands, then they disappeared. I don’t know. This
sounds messed up. Doesnt sound normal.
“FOOD THIEF”
08/11/2014 | 1:37 PM
At the end of this dream I was standing at this cooler outside
of this big place... some sort of july party? I don’t know. It was
outside, and there were lots of people there... and I said "Heyyyy
where's the cooooler" and so then I found it and went to go over
to see what's there... trying to get something nonsoda and nonal-
cohol. So I was going to get some orange juice... but the bottles
had like ... secmenta...? and I thought "Whoa it looks like semen"
and I thought it would be funny to get it... but then I thought
"Eh, maybe it doesn't look like semen" and decided to get some-
thing I actually wanted. I was still picking, and then thought "Oh
no, I’m going to wake up soon" so tried to pick really fast before
I woke up. I just passed a guy and ... he came by and started to
shake or touch my hand... do something... and I took my hand
and like grabbed his fist. Like his fist was wrapped by my hand...
‘cause I just reached out and put it around his fist. And he goes
"where are you going?" and I said "COOOOOOOOLER" in a
funny voice... and then said "Wanna come with me?" and he said
"Nah... I’m not going to get a drink. It’s just going to exasperate
one of my conditions" and I said "that will make your problems
worse?" and I think SP told me where the cooler was... I asked
"where'd you get the soda?" and she said "There's a cooler in A3"
(something 3)... think it was on the girls division/side... maybe
not the girls side... It was just where we were all having a conver-
sation. Or all singing something? but we had just had this danc-
ing celebration. We were all sitting around this area ... I remem-
ber one friend tried to approach that old lady on the side setting
stuff up, asking her if there was pasta, and he asked her some-
thing, and she said "Aww no there's none left." and I chimed in,
992
saying "What. I can help." and she said "No, there's none." Then
I found out she was talking about food. I thought she was talk-
ing about lights. And she had just thought that I meant like "Oh
I don’t have to have one too" when my friend was trying to get
some food. I think it was Florentin who was asking for it. Be-
fore that... we were all standing around this little area... all hold-
ing hands or something in a circle. And everyone was singing
songs... yet I wasn’t singing... It was a holiday or something... a
festival... it was dark and there were lights strung up and every-
thing. Festival lanterns. I was on the very edge. There was a deck
to my right... and there was a kid up on that deck. I had seen him
sometimes but didn’t know anything about him. And sometimes
I wondered if he was going to try to reach hands with mine... be-
cause I had my hand on the edge of the deck and he was stand-
ing on the deck. And it would look weird since everyone was
holding hands to not grab his... but I didn’t do it... And what
the hell was with that guy who transformed his image... who sat
right near us. I was telling him something, I was like "Hey, you're
that guy who something something something" and while I was
saying that he switched... and I still continued on saying things,
and then he started laughing, and I said "wait... no... I guess now
you're white, and this has nothing to do with who you are." he
was just laughing. He was just like a long haired, curly brown hair
guy... white... before he looked like a black guy. But he just trans-
formed... there was also something to do with powers... what was
it... I remember being a girl at one point in the dream. I remem-
ber while everyone was singing and dancing I was looking across
the deck. I could see on the other end, not the other side... that
there were girls over there, and I was looking... for a good one.
I don’t know why, or what, but I was just looking over there.
I didn’t know if I was going to get in trouble, ‘cause I wasn’t
singing, I was just looking at girls. There was some kind of fight.
Someone got upset at something I said... It was Florentin. There

were three guys we were with,and he got really upset because I
said something... and he's like "I don’t like this" and I said "But
here's the thing... we had to pick a leader... and this would have
been the same no matter who ended up the leader... so it’s really
not me..." and I started pointing out... and said "This group right
here... We can find loved ones and people we care for all over the
world... but groups like this never happen... groups like this are
once in a lifetime chance/opportunity, you don’t just find this
everywhere..." and one of the other guys says "Yeah this group is
the most important part of my life." This was after we were sit-
ting at the cafeteria... at the table. I remember that guy coming
over and saying "You guys better eat the chips you want ‘cause
this guy over here (meaning me) looks like he's going to take your
chips" and I got pissed off, saying "WHY DOES EVERYONE
THINK I’M EATING EVERYONE’S FOOD? WHO GAVE
THEM THIS IMPRESSION?" and people were looking at me,
because someone made a joke earlier about me eating someone
else's food, and then this guy, who just saw me accidentally reach-
ing for the wrong bowl, before I saw that mine was in a differ-
ent spot... he alerted... the guy serving us... made a joke to the
guy who the bowl was in front of, and said "You better eat your
food quick. This guy looks like he'll take some." and I forget what
happened, but we got in an argument or something about how
everyone thinks I’m taking their food and that’s not what I was
doing. It was weird, I don’t remember what else happened in the
cafeteria, but several things happened there, and they were pret-
ty interesting too. There was a girl there too... but I don’t remem-
ber. There WAS something to do with hair. We were all watching
some video... I also remember sitting in a chair in front of this
place... this screening, and there were all these other people. And
there were a bunch of pictures of body hair, and I was getting
nauseous... realllly... and it was showing pubic hair and stuff, but
it wasn’t pubic hair... it was an artistic presentation that looked
like pubic hair in that area, at first, but it actually wasn't... just
trying to deceive people... so there wasn’t any genitalia... but then
that part would be removed then there would be more designs,
and under that there would be more designs... and it wasn't hair,
and I was like "WHAT IS THIS?" and I was getting sick and
uncomfortable with that kind of stuff. I forget what happened.
I was in this room for a while... Then later I went to bed... and
the guy said "Okay, everyones going to bed." and I said "Okay...
I’m laying in bed already... actually." there was someone oversee-
ing us, I don’t remember where we were. But yeah, after we all got
in that cafeteria squabble... me and my team... or my table...they
were all saying "It’s all good, it’s all good." And the one guy near
me hugged me, we were just hugging for a few seconds. Some guy
intervened... I think that’s how we started reconciling. But then I
went and found the Florentin guy, who was most insulted... and I
came up from behind and hugged him, saying "Come on... come
on" and I said "I know we just fought, but I don’t have any prob-
lems with you, I love you guys." and everyone was saying "I love
you too! I love you man! I love you guys!" to each other and me.
It was really just interesting. All of these things felt like future
events. That's what's especially crazy. I just don’t remember what
our team was... we were doing something specific.
“GIVE ANTS A CHANCE”
08/12/2014 | 5:30 AM
There was something about the ants... these giant ants... and I
said "Give them a chance. Let them do what they will." They were
working so slow and so creepy, and so I said that... give them a
chance... someone did the wrong thing and... went against the es-
tablished way of doing things... and they were supposed to help
me out in a certain way... and did it to save time... and it had
the opposite effect. I don’t know. This was a really, really difficult
dream to understand or recall.
Okay, there was some part where there was something written
on the wall. And I was trying to pretend that it didn’t mean what
it did, and like I didn’t understand what it said... but it made
some reference to something I liked but was ashamed to admit.
There was also a part within some strange building... office build-
ing ?doctors office? from room to room... almost crashing into
people... Something weird.
996
“SERVENTISSIVLE”
08/12/2014 | 1:47 PM
Fireworks started shooting off from the doorknobs. Almost
pissed my pants, yelling "THE CHILDREN WERE
SCREAMING!" (A Hook reference?) That’s what I said to my
mother afterwards. All those people in my house... lights shoot-
ing off everywhere... And I watched that woman as she was tin-
kering around with the doorknob in the basement... then she was
tinkering with the light source/fixture... and when I first popped
up... I walked up to her and said "Serventissivle." (?) and I sound-
ed like Niles from Frasier... kind of affecting some air like that...
and she looked startled by the fact that I was standing there...
and I asked "have you been here?" ‘cause I didn’t think she was
familiar and didn’t know if she was in disguise... it seemed like it
had become somewhat common for people we didn’t know to be
coming in and out of our house... and I said "Have you been here
before?" she said "I don’t know" "Do you remember me?" "I don’t
know," Would you like to remember me?" and then someone
made a noise... they go "WHOA THERE!" or something fun-
ny like that and I said "I didn’t mean anything bad by it! I’m just
trying to figure out what’s up!" but apparently it sounded sugges-
tive, the way I put it... yeah, then she just walked off and start-
ed tinkering with the door handles and light fixtures. Then they
started shooting off... firecrackers shooting off in the basement.
This took place in Londonberry... I was standing in the work-
room with my father and someone else... and she was over there
with the door... and I’m asking my father what we're going to
do... and just staring at her while she's doing something weird...
and then she asks someone else if they can look at something,
and he goes "Sure" and touches it and it starts blowing up... I
997
think... wait, no that’s the second one that happened... because

I remember hearing someone saying something about helping
people fixing things, and I said "even when it’s fixed it’s danger-
ous?" "Yeah, I just fix things" I forget what it was... but there was
something like that... someone who fixed everything even when
it shouldn’t be fixed... and what was that thing about some sort of
Metaphorical Nu-Metal concert that someone went to and got
hurt at? Because there were so many people and someone was a
target of someone else... This was a weird fucking dream. I think
I overslept.
“TI-DA”
08/13/2014 | 5:28 AM
Me and my father were in the basement. I was trying to get him
to come downstairs for a while to show him something strange I
did with two stereo systems... I had synchronized two complete-
ly different songs... a very strange combo... a Christian rock band
and an occult band...
And I was doing these interviews, and trying to play with these
different germs or contaminates,... I had some name for them...
and then I Was trying to type in... "I will be named this" I forget
what I wanted to name myself, but it wouldn’t fit in the blanks,
so I typed "TI" or "DA" I don’t know. Was it an illness? I just
spent a long time trying to get him down here... So I kept run-
ning back upstairs and he would say "I'll be down in a minute...
I got a shower first" or another excuse... and I kept waiting. And
I was synchronizing the whole album... though not all it was as
cool... like track 8 off one album with track 8 off another. Then
9, then 10... and they weren’t all as good. Not sure what was hap-
pening. There was a dream I had several hours ago before all this
but I failed to record it.
999
“SHIRTLESS JESUS”
08/13/2014 | 12:13 PM
• I just had this weird video go through my mind. It was like a mu-
sic video. It showed Jesus without a shirt walking through shallow
water, then he looked up at the sky and made this loud, weird noise
like "OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.”
• Someone was holding up two cookies... likely oreos. When holding

up their left hand I would hear a weird noise. Then the right hand
would be a weird noise, too. They sounded like cuicas.
1000
“HANNIBAL”
08/13/2014 | 1:03 PM
That part at the end of the dream where Nanny was sitting at
the other couch nearby my couch and she was calling me Hanni-
bal. She was like "Something... oh no wait... Hannibal... oh wait...
Yes... Hannibal." then she said it a few more times... And I asked
"Why Hannibal? What about it makes you go Yes , that must be
his name?" and then there was something about a plunger. Then
there was a part where I was sitting on the chest with my cam-
era... kept opening up and twisting off this lid in my camera and
spitting into it... it was like a cup. It closed up and I kept filling
it... keep talking... there was one time where I said something like
"I paid for... I've made it..." and a song came on the —— right af-
terwards, it was like 80’s stadium rock and it said (?) and then
Nanny heard me laughing and said "What is it, Hannibal?" It was
really funny.
1001
“CRAB LEGS”
08/14/2014 | 5:27 AM
That weird end about a truck going down to the ocean with the
crab legs. ‘Cause I was telling my father "Wait, do you even know
how to fix these tires or anything yourself ?" and I saw a picture
of a car going down to the ocean with crab legs... I feel like... it
was just... uh...
Trying to remember what happened. I was talking to the cops...

there were like some cops who showed up at my house. I ran
down into my bedroom and realized me and my family had just
got into an argument or something. It might not have even been
bad. I don’t really remember. I just ran down into my room ‘cause
I knew the cops were coming. And I was making sure everything
I wouldn’t want them to see was hidden. That was awful. The
cops outside I knew were coming to take me away. I don’t re-
member what happened though. I remember having to go talk to
them, and that really sucked.
1002
“BOOK CHAINED TO CHIN”
08/17/2014 | 5:17 AM
In that dream I had a book chained to my chin... weighing my
head down... it was like attached to a very very long thick chain
which was attached to some sort of beard I had...the book was
very heavy. It was a biography I believe.
There was that really weird scene at the end where that girl came
out of an office... and everyone started clapping... and whoever
was there knew that they had been successful with trying to con-
vince someone of what they were trying to convince them. So
someone started handing out gifts. One was a weird calendar of
sorts. I think it was... It had some secret agent pictures of this guy
in different situations. It was juxtaposed with pictures of the girl
it was given to. And there were all these people who didn’t know
each other well, and they were like "That's interesting. I guess you
know something about me." I think M was there... and I had that
book chained to my chin. And I thought "well at least this way
I never lose it." Yeah but at the end it was just weird scenes of
guys crawling down hallways on all fours... and we were all in
this strange lobby... what were we doing there... someone went
in there to try and convince some person of something... and
RIGHT before they came out someone with me got a sensation
that it had just been a success, and then they came out and we
realized they were right. I also remember something about Pop-
pop earlier. There was a lot to this dream. There was a lot involv-
ing my father too. Everything was a lot neater... at one point...
but I made a mess of everything on purpose. I don’t know if that
makes any sense. Okay, there was an animal. What was that ani-
mal. Did it live for hundreds of years? It was a thing lying next to
1003
me. It was a guy who turned into a dog. And he had something
to do with movie reviews? And he was talking. At first I thought
he was mentally handicapped because the way he was talking
was kind of strange. Then I took him aside and asked "Are you
comfortable? Are you enjoying yourself ? This and that?" kind
of babying him... after the guy wasn’t asking the right questions.
He goes "Yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah." and suddenly curls up and leans
against me and fall asleeps like at my feet. While I’m in bed. And
I remember thinking this guy was a dog... a robot dog or some-
thing.
Old friends... I remember Isaac and Alex. There was a girl a lot
earlier in the dream... What was I doing... I think I was spelling
out her name... I was like cornered... but that’s not right. We were
in a bright kitchen, and someone was approaching the house
from outside. I don’t know what that was. My dad was home
from work at that time.
Then there was something to do with Uncle Jamie, trying to

show us how easy something was. This was after a little while.
Me and Asia were just goofing around. Uncle Jamie starts point-
ing to some food on a little shelf and says ‘Cake’. He started
making assumptions about what I knew how to do. And all the
weird california stuff he does... but he's like "Get in the water"
and "I don't have footwear" and he said "Do without footwear"
but once I was already in the water without footwear, he goes
"Oh wait... you don’t have these kind of built-in feet things?" Just
these things that are kind of like covered by a clear coat.
“PAINTBRUSH IS A HAIRY
FORK”
08/17/2014 | 12:55 PM
Ah, a paintbrush is just a fork with hair on it! I just had a crazy
lucid dream. I spent the whole time doing different things in my
room. I was trying to draw a picture of Anita... and the paint-
brush I was using fell apart. And I had all these different clips
where I recorded the dream, trying to see if they still played on
the computer if I woke up in the dream. I’m only now realizing
I wasn't fully awake, that SUCKS. Because by now I wasn’t re-
minding myself of the details. That was one of the craziest. I was
like "I’m so glad I got this dream ‘cause now I’m more interested
again in keeping these up and maintaining my journal..." just get-
ting a bunch of new stuff. The problem is that when I went lucid,
I thought "maybe I should think of something other than Anita."
And I couldn’t. I just didn’t know what I wanted to do. I felt like
everything was out of my reach, despite lucidity. I felt like every-
thing would freak me out and wake me up. So I went over to my
mannequin... I remember she looked like Jeiezza. I was trying to
change the face of the mannequin between Jeiezza and Anita. It
worked slightly, but I didn’t do the best job. I remember I got
in trouble at one point during the dream. I remember there was
that video of dogs...
1005
“RIGHT HERE”
08/18/2014 | 1:21 PM
I remember sitting beachside/poolside kinda house... little place
with little patio, where me and three guys were practicing our
music. I remember listening to the drumbeat thinking "geez
guys, that's so off." It was pre-programmed apparently, because
their drummer didn’t show up... so they had to pre-program
something, and it sounded alright, but some of the music only
went in the right channel... like the tom or something, and it was
totally off time, and I don’t think some of them heard it... those
who were on the left side of the room. And there was a part of
the song that they were rehearsing where the singer went "Where
is the man responsible!" and I was bored and slid on the floor
beneath the singer and looked up and began to say "RIGHHH-
HT HERE!" but I only got out "RIIIIIGHT" and then I start-
ed laughing way too hard to say anything, and then the singer
sang RIGHT HEEERE! while looking down at me and point-
ing. I was telling them I thought that part was too silly for a met-
al song, and they're long "Noooo, really? Nooooo." and I told
them that it makes me think of this band and this band and this
band, and I told them it was interpreted as funny rather than
——. I think the whole dream was just us four guys hanging
out in this one place. We had some conversations. There might
have been something freaky.I remember seeing some t-shirts that
were... from the Bible? I don’t know. I might be hallucinating
right now. Something in my dream likely had something to do
with the bible.I was there with those guys practicing for like the
whole day, but for some reason I wasn't really a part of what they
were doing.
1006
(crouched... slunk up beneath his feet. Just lying there looking

up at him... "RIGHT[...]" sounded like I was laughing while I
was saying it, and the guy with the microphone finished it with
"RIGHT HERE!" which was not the actual song lyric. It was co-
incidence that he said the same thing I was going to say)
“LOT”
08/19/2014 | 5:16 AM
Ended with a word others didn’t understand. Walmart parking
lot.
1008
“RETREAT TO THE
MOUNTAIN”
08/20/2014 | 12:47 PM
My last line was "Whoa, this is so lucid. I need to wake up and
write this down"
Masturbating to funk music. Here is the main part: I was in the

main house in New Jersey... my mom had drank too much and
was acting like an absolute idiot. I remember writing down some
of her comments on wordpad. Made no sense. I asked my father
if he wanted to go for a drive... and she got mad at...
Father and I driving on a mountaintop. Mother accusing father.

Running down the street with Tokyo to hide from my mother.
1009
“STATION”
08/22/2014
I was holding the phone while at some gas station of sorts... and
I was with several people... and I saw this one guy posting mes-
sages... and I knew he was going to commit suicide. We all knew
what had happened... Something was weird with time and we
were back now... and I was looking at the phone not knowing if
I should do anything... it was really weird... ‘cause I knew he was
about to kill himself based on what he was saying, and I didn’t
say anything.
Showed up at Michael's/Toys ‘R’ Us at closing... 5 minutes till

closing. And I got mad at my father because I had been wanting
to come earlier but only now was he able to. Did I slip in the en-
tryway? I did something really, really ridiculous and the people
that worked there burst out laughing.
Neighborhood walk in the middle of night? Followed by some-

thing?
1010
“NEEDLER”
09/02/2014 | 6:00 AM
People in the window, best needle shot I've ever had, and man
dying.
1011
“LAST CAMP”
09/04/2014 | 7:32 AM
Asia was there and we were in this weird warehouse building.
Nanny and Poppop were there maybe. This was like a camp set-
ting because it was my last time being able to go to camp so I
was trying to take advantage of it but I didn't remember what I
did though. Who were those people who turned up music really
loud while I did something, accommodating my request. I want
to say cutting hair, but that’s not it.
Was there also something about a giant dog? Nanny and Pop-
pop’s dog, maybe not giant, but did something stupid and got
hurt. What was I doing in that one room...? Trying to convince
Asia of something at the end, but she wasn’t receptive.
Think there were parts in the dream where I was trying to prove
to people that I was not gay. Not to prove but just to explain it
because... not anything I did but the way I was acting I think it
was making people feel weird about me.
Also remember some people from church at one point. I'm not
sure what they are... I think at first they were wary of being
around me but soon they were laughing and just like talking to
me and stuff. Then there was this guy and there was this girl in
this one building, who was administering some sort of weird test.
Not a test but they were just there with me at the end and hav-
ing to ask to use something. I just remember coming to that one
room at the end, I forget. I don't know how to describe this.
There was that one room at the end where I had my bag in the
corner. I was getting something and just talking to one. I kept
having to ask the woman questions about what I was doing.
1012
“SUN-DRIED BABY”
09/04/2014 | 3:44 PM
In that last dream I had, I found out that “Jojo Bizarre” meant
“Sun-dried baby” or something. All those people were coming
outside the restaurant, and they were talking about Virginia.
And there was this mother who had very little hair who was like
“Did you do it? I bet you didn’t even smell it.” She was asking
around in this restaurant trying to get these people to hook up
with them. Jojo Bizarre meant “Baby Sunbather” or something,
and I was thinking “Yeah, that makes sense why it would be
called that.” And I looked at these books saying... mythological
things of what different parts your body associated with, I saw
that there was one god that was associated with like, it was like
the half beard of God. It was associated with something that was
like the beard on the face and the hair and I don't know. There
was something like all water within a certain part of Jerusalem,
causes it stacked up or something and certain parts of Egypt
causes this to act up. Only the finest water in Jerusalem would
do this. And it's like the right hand is connected with all these
different myths. And if it's connected with this, then light pour-
ing on your hands won't make it act up. If it's connected with
this myth, then it will shake in the presence of this. It was just
all these myths about the body. I was looking for something spe-
cific with my hands or something. I'm not sure. I forget what
happened though. I remember I was waiting for some guy. What
was that thing when that guy left the restaurant? He looked like
he was going around the world but then he's like, just kidding.
And he had turned into something anthropomorphic but then
Showed back up as a human he just walked out like Just kid-
ding. Like, like as if what I watched walk away wasn't even him
1013
at all. So I’m still fucking confused about what happened. Be-

cause I forget what happened but he was in a conversation with
someone and there was like a suggestion made and he goes yeah,
and he just takes off on what looked like it was gonna be a long
journey, disappears out of sight as some kind of weird object,
and then comes walking out of something else later on and goes
“Yeah, not really.” And then his parents were walking out of the
restaurant with that girl and that time people started quizzing
him. And then he got the name Baby sunbather from his mom
because of what he wouldn't do, and I’m like “Wait, is that what
JoJo means?”
I was making a cartoon or something. I was making my own

cartoon that was clearly wish fulfillment, or some kind of story
that was clearly wish fulfillment, depicting just two guys, one of
which was me, traveling around space. And I remember hearing
a song by Inquisition going off. I forget what the song was, while
we’re going around like nomads through the galaxy. I remember
feeling kind of lonely. I felt weird doing it. It was just like “The
adventures of tendon and his best friend in space,” and I’m think-
ing ugh people are going to think I’m so sad.
In that restaurant there was something funny relating to some

guy who was really overweight.
I also remember going outside and I was dressed a little funny

and this was right when I was playing with the cartoon or my
book or whatever I was doing. And I went outside and I had a
cigarette in my mouth. And then I went to put another cigarette
in my mouth and lit it without realizing I was already smoking
one. I was like, oh, and then I realized my neighbors were out
so I felt kind of stupid. And so I was like, “well, I'll get a head
start on my next one.” So since I was already smoking a cigarette.
I just like lit the other one without putting it in my mouth. It just
burned the end off of it. And then just sat there holding it, like
vertical. Don’t know what I was doing.
“SKINNY IN THE
SWEETHOUSE”
09/05/2014 | 7:06 AM
The scene with the kid speaking to the alien “Hey, get out your
blue molester,” and the alien goes “You’re rusting me, right?” Or
“You’re testing me, right?” But it sounded like ‘rusting’. And it
wasn't a back scratcher... wait, what was I saying it was... it wasn’t
a molester. I don’t know what it was.
There was that argument between my mother and I at the end. We

got into an argument in the kitchen about how she's not the per-
son she was when she first came back from the hospital (when she
briefly had a better attitude), and how she’s a horrible person now
and needs to get back to where she needs to be.
Dammit, I remembered a bit of it but now I’m forgetting.
Yeah, when he walks by you, you think you’re all clever and all
cool but they think your ears are being washed. It’s about my dad
putting his fingers in his ears. I don’t know what the hell I’m talking
about.
I remember standing in a store at the check out register getting

ready to buy something that was sold in the check out aisle.
I kept ruining my shirts by dipping my finger in red paint and wip-

ing it on the shirt.
Try your heartbeat with your fangs for the inclusions! Wait, what
did she say, dammit. Dammit. Everyone was chanting “Say some-
thing” on a Facebook page or something , then she popped in and
1016
acted like she didn’t see what they were saying. What were they say-
ing that was so funny? I thought I was saying it out loud. Damn it.
Wow, they make the something something here. THEY’RE strong.
The girl made a hoodie out of other old clothes that she had. I can’t
tell when I'm talking and when I’m not! I still need to talk about
the spigot part where I was turning the spigot. And then there was
the part with the girl and her needing to take a shower because she
got wet from the spigot, and then the girls are coming...
“I don’t even really listen to what you’re saying! I just walk in here,
take what I need to take, do what I need to do...”
(Singing) Oooone teeen th...
Was I on a bus? I remember sitting on the computer listening to

Natacha Atlas. That’s pretty much it.
This has nothing to do with my dream. I was in a classroom at one

point. It’s ridiculous, I’ve forgotten all the main points and I’m just
sitting here spouting nonsense while I’m hallucinating.
Picture me standing in a white background stretching out. Expen-

sive. For sale.
What the hell is Skinny in the Sweethouse? I was taking my camera

and going down a list of all these dolls in front of me and I’m like
“Aside from Barbie, there's this, there's this, there's this, there’s Skin-
ny in the Sweethouse.” I was showing off all these different things.
Man, I've been hallucinating for like an hour straight and I'm not
getting like eighty percent of it. It was pretty funny though, but that
cost me $430 right there. Just the t-shirts.
“And Satan Spoke”

It was a sticker I got and I put it on something

“CAGEHEAD”
09/05/2014 | 6:55 AM
I was in a kitchen of sorts when some event triggered off. There
appeared a couple of intimidating people who wouldn't let me
leave (along with the girl who I was with).
GUY WITH GRAY HAIR AND CAGE OVER A HEAD... I

KEPT BASHING HIS FACE WITH SOMETHING FROM
ACROSS THE ROOM. HE WAS ON THE LEFT SIDE AT
THE FAR END OF THE ROOM.
THEN THAT OTHER GUY WALKED IN... TH EREALLY

TALL WEIRD GUY... AND I HIT HIM ABOUT 20 TIMES
AND HE couldn’t GET A BREATHER THEN HE REAL-
IZED HE COULD TRANSFORM AND HE BECAME
MASSIVELY CREEPY.
I WAS SOMEHOW SEEING SOMETHINGS THROUGH

A VIEWFINDER? SO irEMEMBER ALL OF THE SUD-
DEN HE WAS TOO BIG THAT COULDN'T MAKE OUT
HIS FEATRES IN MY VIEWFINDER... AND WHEN I
LOOKED AT HIM IT LOOKED LIKE I WAS ZOOMED
IN TOO FAR.
There was also that dark skinned kid on the floor... little boy
crawling around to my right or in front of me. This was all in the
kitchen. Something MESSED up was happening. I was with a
girl. That Third Creepy guy, the magnification guy, started mak-
ing weird jokes... and I kept commenting on them saying that was
sorta funny. These were all nerds, originally, apparently. One of
the guys' faces was peeling. Gross white flakes... dried... skin.
1019
There was that part earlier where my dad told me I had surgery
coming up... or an examination... and I told him I didn't think it
was worth it, since it would be quite invasive, and extremely un-
comfortable, and they wouldn’t be able to help me after all just
like the rest of them. So he was asking if I was going to cancel.
“EXIT WOUND”
09/08/2014 | 6:50 AM
I don't remember much, but I remember being about to do some-
thing, and someone freaked out and told me that if I don't do it
right I could end up like the guy who ended up blowing a hole
through about four or five of his internal organs.
1021
“DRIVER”
09/09/2014 | 8:21 AM
The part when the dream ended... the part with me and those
other people... oh no, it wasn’t me. Just a guy. They were just
dancing on their... and then the drivers license picture was taken
in a very funny way and everyone wanted to see it.
The last few minutes of the dream ended with these pictures be-
ing taken of people doing weird things and we were all happy
about something so it was just kind of like we were celebrating.
What was that pile...?
Okay, there was the thing with the dog. I was in my mom's bed
doing something funny with the dog. I walked in and I was pet-
ting it while talking to my mom as she was sitting at her vanity.
A lot of the dream was traveling or a road trip. I think it got dark-
er. Not like daaaaark. Just a negative sort of dream.
I remember being on the road, driving, and when we pulled up

to some place I remember seeing Poppop on the other street and
I gave him a thumbs up and he saw me and was like ahhhh!
Could see me from across the street. It was an intersection.
That was also the part where I looked to the right of me and
there's all those girls on motorcycles, some were on cycles, some
were in convertibles, they're all very flashy vehicles, and there was
someone trying to get my attention but I ignored them. Then I
drove on and I think they still followed. I was listening to Soil-
work, Sworn to a Great Divide.
1022
“DOCTA”
09/09/2014 | 3:56 PM
I was in the mall or some place like it. There was a girl... was it
Anita? Jeiezza? She was playing music with me. We were play-
ing music in the room. Then I came in with my part, and she
was talking about how she just wanted to kill it and made a joke
about why she can’t hit the right notes. The bass sounded per-
fectly fine on its own but with the guitar it sounded weird, and
we were joking about it. I remember I had like three or four pairs
of shoes sitting on the floor. They all had different genres and
things ascribed to them.
Guy walked on and he’s like “DOCTA!” And then you hear
“Deeeeeeee.” It was a movie score.
There was something in my dream about Christianity, but I’m

not sure what.
I remember at one point I’m like “Okay, I can play these kinds
of things on guitar and no one will get mad, even though they’re
not metal.” We were in some kind of mall store.
Noise bad. I don’t know, I was just joking around doing some-
thing. I don't know. Me and that girl were hitting it off great. Just
a good time together. In the room together most of the time. I
only remember the music related stuff though.
I was listening to myself growling. I made these tracks where I

was growling these crazy sounding things and I was like oh my
gosh how was I able to do that with my throat in this condition.
1023
“DEAD RICHARD”
09/10/2014 | 7:57 AM
I remember dad’s friend from childhood had died. Richard?
Wait there was a sandbox at one point. And there was a girl. She
was like an artist. I remember she was asleep on the couch. And
she wanted me to wake up at a certain time. Oh there's some-
thing else to do with like Poppop. I remember laughing about
something. I remember the girl was on the couch for a while be-
cause she fell asleep...
I remember my five minutes back and going “I need to get my

street for.” And... I’m like what... what? And he ran back into
the middle of the street. I don’t know if I’m making any sense. I
might be hallucinating.
I just remember hanging out with that girl. Fell asleep on the
couch. I just remember that girl for a while and then like we said
she'd wake up in the morning or something she fell asleep on the
couch. And I was waiting for her, waiting for some certain time
when I'd have to wake her up. Sure. And I just remember being
at that field with that guy and I think there were some balance
beams out there. Did I have that dream before? Am I confusing
them together? Because I remember something weird about bal-
ancing yourself out there on something in the middle of the field
and I was with this kid guy. And he was gone next time I looked
Trying to figure out if I kissed the girl or not. I might have while
she was asleep? Yeah, I was kind of stroking her cheek and hair
while she was asleep.
1024
“BLACK WIDOW”
09/11/2014 | 9:29 AM
Guy standing at the chalkboard goes “How you draw Black Wid-
ow” and then he just drew this big black body on the chalkboard.
And then he just started drawing these big black things on chalk-
boards and they look like a human being and every time I looked
something up it looked like human being for reference, and he
kept described those different things as if they were humans and
my father got upset because he didn't like me learning all this
stuff, this blackness and these metal things and so I asked him
for certain kinds of things from the store, like black honey, and
I was waiting for him to get back. So I asked my mom when he
would be back. And she was telling me he is upset with some of
the things. I don't know. He didn’t think I knew what I was talk-
ing about when I asked for something but he didn’t want to get
me honey for personal reasons.
Everyone in my dreams has something metal to do with them

now. Everything in this dream was black. Everything on my
body. Hair, coat.
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“OUROBOROS”
09/12/2014 | 8:13 AM
Well, that was a crazy dream. I remember some orobouroses. I
remember some boys killed in the fire. I think I remember being
on an airplane at one point and came out and got in trouble for
something.
That's funny. They commissioned him to make some patches,

some images and stuff like that for them and to put it here. And
so he did that for them. But meanwhile, he's ticked off at them
and he put them on his own coat or whatever he was wearing. It
was creepy.
There was something about my mother. I wanted her dead or just

or just longer and taller or something. I'm not sure if that is what
it said.
I was at church. There was Jacob and Sam. It wasn’t church, but
those people were there. Some of Asia’s girl friends were there
too.
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“IS THE DEAD ANIMAL DEAD
YET?”
09/13/2014 | 9:29 AM
At the end that shriveled looking guy came out of the little room
in the wall and they’re asking “Is the dead animal dead yet? IS
THE DEAD ANIMAL DEAD YET! Is the old guy in pain
yet? IS THE OLD GUY IN PAIN YET! How fast does a guy
die? HOW FAST DOES A GUY DIE!” They were just repeat-
ing, quoting themselves. We all just looked at him calmly. It was
creepy. He was being punished for something he did. This place
was a prison. Trying to kill them. I was in my thirties, in age.
That guy in my dream clearly knew some people he lost in an ac-

cident. One of that guy’s friends died, and it was a girl. Or two
girls. He was looking at pictures showing two girls. She was the
only one from the group that died. It showed pictures of cave
walls and someone bound up and tied. Weird and dark stuff.
Stuff that made me think that someone never made it out.
• Why are these dolls now lying on the bathroom floor, why did
the dog just drag them in there? My mom doesn't even know. She’s
asleep, still. I guess I’m hallucinating.
• I just had a hallucination where I was standing in the kitchen by

the fridge and my father was sitting in the chair and my mother was
saying “Do you want to go to the store?” And dad’s like “How do
I know you’re not tricking me?” Possibly implying that she was just
trying to go out to get more alcohol. And he's like, I don't know that
you're not tricking me. He just was sighing and sitting at the kitchen
table while she was in the other room. So I'm standing there and I
reach on top of the fridge because I see a bunch of lollipops. And I
1027
hand one to him like I'm like a magician with a rose or something.
It was really funny.
“JUSTIFY”
09/13/2014 | 3:53 PM
Trying to justify that shirt I was wearing and that there was that
girl staying over that fell asleep for a really long time.
There was some part with me going to an amusement park at

night. I don't know what the hell happened there but something
really creepy was going on. I was walking around the bushes kind
of secretly and there was a Ferris Wheel. There were rides, all lit
up. It was dark and no one's on them. There were people at the
park, Yes, but they weren't around this area where I was.
In the game there is a spot in the amusement park where the psy-
chic Pokémon will shoot up in the air. Like the Mime Jr. Would
shoot up 20 feet in the air and then fight from there. The launch-
ing of the psychics.
That girl slept for an unreasonably long time. Okay, so there's a

shirt that was like some weird all-over print shirt that had snakes
all over it. I wanted it, but after taking too long trying to figure
out if I wanted it, it sold out. I realized it had been sold out the
whole time and then I lied about already having it.
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“TWO DEVIL PHOTOS”
09/14/2014 | 9:15 AM
At the very end I remember I was using that picture. That guy
was using two pictures of this guy, they look like the devil. I was
using it for something. That little girl was asking for them.
1030
“HERE THEY ARE”
09/15/2014 | 8:38 AM
There was that little girl who I snuck out of church with and
we were having fun. We're just running around outside. That was
fun. But then when we came back in, we got in so much trouble.
Everyone was running around looking for us, and when they saw
us they said “HERE THEY ARE!.” Then there was also me play-
ing drums and they were covered with bees. It was awesome.
I was at church at one point, and I forget what happened after

I snuck out of church. And there was just a little girl who was
trying to get out too. So I helped her out. So then after we got
outside, we started talking. And then we just went off for a walk.
It was kind of strange, because I didn't expect that first that we'd
be talking. I mean, she looked a little intimidated at first, intim-
idated by me. But she kind of just ran off and we're looking for
fun things to do while everyone else is at church. I mean, she
was little too, like seven years old, but then when we got back
to church like an hour or two later, ever since we walked in the
door, my parents and her parents were standing there and they're
freaked out. They're like “Where have you been?” “There they
are!” And for some reason, her parents were Colleen... didn’t
make much sense, but they weren't happy about us disappearing.
I forget what we did.
At another point I was with this lesbian girl. I don’t remember

what happened. I didn't know she was lesbian at first. She wasn't
my type. I wasn't attracted to her. But I was helping her with
something and we were talking for a while. I just remember lying
on the floor in a dark corner. In my mind I’m just imagining lying
on a dark corner of the room and she was just talking about some
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kind of problem she was having and I remember thinking it was

weird that she didn't seem very attracted to me, then I learned
she was a lesbian.
“DUMPSTER”
09/15/2014 | 10:45 AM
There was that thing where Kenny was saying thank you to dif-
ferent people and tried to fit everyone’s name in really fast. I
think he left or got kicked out of that band shortly after that
point. But they were arguing about schools on TV or something,
and he goes “It’s the product of Shardul! Shardul!” And like
“Dude, I’m not from there. I went there for this amount of time
and that place sucks.” Just a weird talk about schools.
But then I looked at some comments section, and there was

something that bothered me about what they were saying. I re-
member what they said but none of it is coherent to me now.
I remember two of my songs popped up on last.fm and it freaked

me out because I was trying to figure out who has those songs
and why/how they are being listened to by someone. “The
Blush” and “Awaken the Antibody.”
I was hanging out by a dumpster. And then I was hanging out at

that bar setting for a while. I was sitting in a chair, staring at a
screen, while a girl was hanging out nearby. There was a sofa, and
Jen was on the sofa. I felt really self conscious. I forget. I was talk-
ing to her sister, her older sister. And she was... I don't know what
happened. But then we're sitting there, lying on this couch. And
she was just in a really weird position. And her shorts were real-
ly short. And she just had like one of her legs crossed over mine,
and I was just like... uh... And she was saying “I haven't seen you
in a while!” And she was catching up. But it was very, very weird.
And I kept wanting to say “How's your husband?” or something
1033
like that, but I just remember thinking all these thoughts in my

head. Not perverted thoughts. I just felt weird about it all.
The Kenny stuff came afterwards. The review was so vivid. I was
reading all the words, they were so vivid, and I was skimming it,
and I kept seeing how long it was, and I was thinking “Should
I say something to this guy?” I thought that'd be funny if I ever
met him. I don't know. But it was weird and I just remembered
some of the different keywords. He was just getting mad, like
“Keep your sacred something to yourself, and stop confusing
these fuckers who don't know the difference between this and
this.” Something had to do with last.fm... which I shouldn’t have
been guilty of, but then I realized I must have been the one guilty
because I was the only one that had those two songs. And I knew
it so I'm like oh man what have I done? Those two... that's really
weird that those two songs popped up because those are like re-
ally obscure outtakes from late 2010, early 2011.
“GUNBAKE”
09/16/2014 | 9:09 AM
That guy sent me a letter thanking me for showing off a demon-

stration of that coin I have... that double sided coin where one
side looked like Jesus, the other side looked like Houdini. It was
like rusted. I just felt like he was being sarcastic because I feel like
I neglected to make the tutorials or demonstrations of it. And I
never really made a demonstration and I just showed something
that said “Here's a clip of a coin I got.” He asked, then I said okay,
and then a month or two later I got a letter saying thanks for all
your help, and I thought “I didn’t help. Why is he thanking me?”
So I didn’t know if he was being sarcastic or not.
Gunbake Gabeira Christians. It was a girl’s name. A girl with a

backwards hat. But yeah I was reading something and her picture
was on top and she was standing there like a hip-hop artist.
Yeah, there were like four other people who left feedback though
and I got really bothered because it was four other people who I
neglected, didn't oblige and I felt really ashamed.
There was that weird place where everything was like male geni-
talia or something else. Weird, weird place. I don't know what it
was. And then there was another scene earlier on. We were walk-
ing outside. And there was that girl. We went driving to some
place to pick up some stuff. We worked together on something.
She was really cool. I remember I was really restricted when I was
with her. Like we weren't allowed to do so, like so many things. I
1035
don’t mean just me and her. Because like we worked in a certain

place. Too many restrictions? I don't know.
“DOG HAIR”
09/16/2014 | 5:46 PM
That guy said to me “Go to sleep, because we’re not gonna be
taking this when we go shopping.” I said “What do you mean
‘taking this’?” And I woke up, but I was sitting on the bed. And
I was talking about how I hate sleep and I’d do away with it if I
could. And there was that girl that I liked, who was at his place
but on the other bed. That's how I got here in the first phase.
Because I was walking around trying to stay within proximity to
this girl. We had been at this guy’s house who was kind of an
immature guy. He had long blonde hair. He was cool. But when
we’d say certain things, he would just give some really imma-
ture responses. Everyone else fell asleep. And so for a few hours,
everyone else was just passed out on the bed. And me and him
are sitting there talking. And we're looking through things. I was
so, so tired. His dog was walking around the bed while I was
trying to go to sleep, and the guy came over and started patting
around the bed where I was laying. “Ahhh, that’s it. Doghair,” he
says. Then I go “What?” Then he tells me to get up. And I’m
like “What do you mean?” He says they’ve been looking for a
thing that’s right where I am, and I say “Does that mean I can’t
lie here?” So I got up, and I said “Wait, is Doghair the name of
their doll?” It's just a little gorilla toy. Funny little gorilla doll.
And they had other little toys too, like this little hard yellow plas-
tic thing. And something else. So the dog comes jumping up and
lands on the bed. So I picked up his toys and threw them on the
floor. The guy goes “Aww, he hates when people throw his toys.”
But then the dog just jumped off and stayed on the floor.
1037
Me and that guy were standing by the computer for a while. He

was playing some kind of computer game. I forget what it was.
But he's like “I hate sleep! I hate sleep!” And he was talking about
how his parents always made him sleep when they go to sleep
and he was throwing an immature fit. And I was like “Ah yeah, I
hate sleep more than anything, too. And I hate those people that
wake up at one in the afternoon and are just like “All right, let's
eat lunch now and then just sit around and go back to sleep,” and
I was thinking of my mom when I said that.
I just kept wondering if the girl was looking at me. I was trying
to get her to follow me around. I'm trying to remember how this
all started. Because I ran outside and I was gonna try... I went to
a car, and I remember in that situation, there was a chance that
she was going to think that I was the one to blow her car up or
something. It was because I had a lighter on me, something was
on fire. What was on fire? And I remember the fact that I was
walking out there with a cigarette in my mouth. And she didn't
know who I was. I was the only one she didn't know who was
standing among that group of friends. I just knew someone was
going to suspect me. I was waiting for it to happen, but I don't
think it happened. She never really paid much attention to me.
I never said anything to her but I kinda expected her to pay me
attention or accuse me or something that got the ball rolling, but
not really.
So yeah, we all just went to that guy's house, all of us were laying
around and talking and stuff. But they all fell asleep earlier. It
sucked, she was on the other bed, and so I was just on this bed
over here. And then that guy was on the floor or something. He
jumped up... I forget what I said, but something I said caused
him to jump up into my bed with his laptop to show me some
messages or game from a few years ago.
I felt a surprising lack of confidence. I was just kind of worried

or nervous around those people. Trying to remember where that
car was to begin with. It felt like it was outside of a college.
I remember at one point, while we’re all in there lying around,

someone from his family came up to the door and I was like oh
no and I felt like we were being told to stop doing something we
were doing. I don't know exactly what happened. I was kind of
afraid to move around and get yelled at. I felt like a teenager.
“I DON’T FEEL BACK”
09/17/2014 | 4:46 PM
• I just had a hypnagogic hallucination where these two guys were
standing there kind of leaning with their elbows on this rail just like
looking over and one of them says “I'm glad you're back,” and the
other guy responds “I know I'm back but I don't feel back,” like in
this weird French accent. So then the first guy goes “You did a great
job,” and then the other guy goes “I know success though I don't feel
like a success,” and he just started wiping his eyes on his jacket sleeve.
What I got from looking at them is that his partner died during the
mission which was a girl and he was just very emotional but he was
trying to be distant but his emotions were coming through.
• Two guys discussing duets and mysticism, and the guy says “Well,
you can believe whatever you want to believe, adding on to what
this guy said within the last decade about this, but it's not some-
thing that I'm going to accept and believe in.” The guy is just saying
“It looks like absolute madness. Why would you accept that?” And
the other guy is like “I believe we are lucky that it resembles mad-
ness, because...” something about the honesty of it coming through,
and the guy goes “That doesn't make any sense.” and so they're both
arguing different sides to this thing. And it’s interesting because
they're talking about the honesty of this guy... some occult master-
piece created in the last decade. I don't know what it was, but I
remember the mentioned duets were... duets are a necessary part
of attaining something... Were they fucking my talking about me?
That’s weird. I didn’t even pick up on that at the time. When they
were arguing it was so realistic. Meanwhile I was looking up concert
information and tours. But I kept ending up with just old websites
forms from like, five six years ago which actually might have been
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where this came up. It might not have been in person but on music
forums.
“SNOWSUIT”
09/18/2014 | 8:46 AM
I was staring out the window and it was snowing outside. There
was heavy snowfall, and I saw this girl walking around in the
snow. I knew who she was in the sense that I saw her regularly. I
was putting on my snowsuit, some kind of specific jacket, I was
putting on this big jacket, and some gear that she was practical-
ly in love with because she had seen me walking around before
in this snow suit, but didn't know it was me, but started falling
for the guy that wore this suit because of something heroic about
the way he acted. And so she was like, oh, every time she saw this
snowsuit, this guy in the snowsuit, which she didn't know was
me, she’d be like, Wow, and so she'd kind of always be looking out
for me. Then I remember her walking in the room as I’m getting
ready to put the suit on. Kind of like the basement from Lon-
donberry but only about 30% similar. We were where the sliding
door is, but it was very different. And so I was putting on my suit
and she walks into the door behind me and just sees me putting
on the suit, and maybe she did know it was me because she really
didn't react strangely. I just remember her stopping and staring at
me. I could feel her staring at me from behind when she walked
in because I was facing away from the door and I was putting
the suit on. I forget what happened, but I could tell that she was
thinking “Whoa, that guy is here.”
1042
“CENTER OF GRAVITY”
09/18/2014 | 3:25 PM
Something keeps going in and disappears into my center of grav-
ity. I've got scars or cuts or abrasions that also go to that point...
something in me only goes down as far as my center of gravity.
Something within me like a vortex or black hole.
• Is it a smiling face that we’re buying, or is...
It was coming from the ceiling. Something about me and my

face. I was ready to get someone else’s dream and...
That guy’s nose was part of the giant tower of the past. His nose...
and you just see half of his eyes... and...
I remember being like “Dude, we’re a six piece rock outfit.

There’s no problem.” I guess I was speaking about how many peo-
ple were coming along.
I was looking at his shirt and I’m like “Dammit! I didn't see this.
I didn’t see there was this marijuana design on his sleeve.” And
I’m like “Whatever. I mean, I guess he’s already wearing all his
Christian ones anyway, so it hardly makes a difference.” My mom
made a face and so I was folding his shirt and putting it away. I'm
like “I don't hate pot or Christianity outright. It’s not how I want
to live my life. I think there’s more to life than something some-
thing something, And just this interesting speech I gave there. I
just had really bad sleep paralysis just a minute ago. I was refer-
ring to the shirts I would be wearing as a Dean. So I was like “Ah,
I guess it's okay just because now it attracts this kind of atten-
tion.”
1043
“SILVER GOAT HEAD”
09/19/2014 | 8:40 AM
That was silver. It was really silver. It was awesome when it
turned silver at the end. There were several times when I played
the drums in that greenhouse area. There was also that part
where Nanny and Poppop came over. They were talking about
something really weird.
• (Incoherent)
I remember being in the upstairs room for a while. It was so

windy and nice and I was like “Wow, I want to sleep here in-
stead.” It was a greenhouse. There was a teepee and plants and it
was sunny and it was awesome.
• I don’t know what came out of Jeremy. I don’t know what came
out of Jeremy. I was excited. I was anticipating listening to some-
thing. Did someone die? Not immediately close to me, but someone
I heard of. Someone I know of. Maybe a couple deaths.
I was at a festival. I was kind of just standing there at this outdoor

festival. I was watching some guys talk. There were some guys
standing around this singer who was telling a story, and they
were all saying something about how his thing he did was really
jerky. And they were talking about it, and one guy goes “Wow,
what a jerk!” And he's like, “Duh, that’s the whole premise! That
was the whole point of this story. I was not wasn't acting like my-
self !” or something like that. And it was just something he said
to someone who passed by that he didn't really think through,
I don't know. And then there was a scene where I was in that
room with a girl and I was hugging her. I was just talking to her.
1044
She kept changing who she was. Like, she kept becoming differ-
ent people. So it was kind of weird. And then Nanny and Pop-
pop were in this dream a bunch. I remember they passed by the
kitchen and one of my drums was leaning against the wall near
my basement door, which is surprising because this house did
not look like our house but this part right here did. Yeah, and
they didn't say anything at first and I’m like “See the drums?” Or
I was just waiting for them to say something.
“RANSOM FROM A PHANTOM”
09/19/2014 | 4:38 PM
That chocolate bunny that I was carrying around. I called up that
guy who's holding someone ransom. I think it was supposed to
be the guy from Portal or something. In my mind, it was like the
singer from Portal with that creepy look. And he's growling in
that really creepy, disturbing, like, drawn out way. And I remem-
ber he's like *growling* “Do you know what you've gotten your-
self into?” And I'm like *growling* “No I don’t, why don’t you
tell me” I was matching him, responding to him with a similar
type of growl which was hilarious. But then I think the battery
ran out. Or maybe it didn't run out. But I realized my recorder
wasn't on.
So I was horror-stricken. I kept testing out my recorder on differ-

ent things. And then my mother said “It’s time to throw off the
pants,” and I got so mad at her. I was like “No one says throw off
the pants unless they've actually done something in the pants!”
and started getting married. That's an expression that you use.
Wasn't something exactly like that was similar. And I don't think
it's a real expression we have, but something used to connote that
it has been the end of a workful day. And I'm like, “You haven't
fucking done anything. You're referring to MY business which
I've maintained all day. I’M throwing off my pants. I’m taking my
chocolate bunny, and I'm going back up to the woods to respond
to that demon guy.” So it was just a very strange dream. I kept
going on all these hikes up this mountain and doing these weird
things where I would just like to communicate with like these de-
monic things. I remember my father helped me out with some
recordings up there. What I was doing is I kept taking all these
1046
sneak recordings, trying to make sure that it didn't fail me this

time so I could get like the next time he called for ransom. Be-
cause I was taking it so silly-like and I was thinking “this would
be great on my next album” and I wasn't even thinking of the fact
that he really was holding Asia ransom. And so I kept just to get
my voice recorder and stuff in my camera before then just mak-
ing sure that it didn't fail, because the first time it worked, but
the second time it didn't. I still remember how it sounded. It was
really weird. It might have warped but it was not coming from
the right speaker. It was not coming from the right input micro-
phone thing. First filmed a bunch of crap for that before that and
there was a lot of really involved stuff with the microphone and
how the recording sounded and I actually do remember them all
right now but I have no idea how to explain it in words, especial-
ly because that would mean that I can't remember all the other
stuff I want to say, and if I take the time to explain I also gotta
piss. I actually don't know if there is much more to say. That was
a really bizarre dream, though.
The little chocolate bunny thing of like was sitting up on the sink
and no head on it. It was just a body. I ate the head. I assume
I’m the one who ate it. It's like our bathrooms upstairs. Not mom
and dad’s bathroom but the one next to the kitchen was like that
bathroom. Imagine it’s sitting behind the sink. You know there's
that little area behind sinks that was just kind of nasty where the
water collects. It was kind of like sitting near there. So it's pretty
gross. Looking at it while it was getting ready. Like I hit the head
off it and ran.
So creepy when the guy called. I think he called twice and I did.
I think I was trying to show my father how funny it was when I
responded to him like that. It was so funny. I really wish I knew
the exact words that he said to me and what I said back. It was so
funny. I didn't get the entire first conversation we had because I

didn't think of it Until later, at first I was like ‘wait what Who is
this?’
“CHRISTIAN ROCKET
SCIENCE”
09/20/2014 | 9:00 AM
That father guy in the boat, going “I know I look like an eccen-
tric fellow but I’m not a bad guy.” And I showed him “Here’s all
these letters. Here’s one thanking them from a child for my typ-
ing skills. Here is the one addressed from the student who almost
died. Here is the one who spent the entire party by himself with-
out any food or pride.” And meanwhile there was this delivery
man nodding along “Mhm, mhm.”
Just lying to him. I don’t remember what was up. He was just
wearing a really fruity, flamboyant shirt. Really bright. I got so
pissed off when he used the word pride in that context though.
• I was taking part in some big long process and I think some people
had problems with it. I’m not sure. It was pretty pretentious in some
people's eyes. I don't know. This was a very bizarre dream. But I
don’t know if that was my daughter at the end or who it was to be.
I don’t believe that she was.
• Awesome. Going to bed? I don’t know. It was awesome.
• A little bit easier for them. When that guy asked me to get it,
I didn't have to, but I thought I would just to make it easier for
them... I was just being cool. I don't know what I'm talking about.
All these things I’m saying are hallucinations I am experiencing
presently.
• I remember I was really sensitive to some kind of thing that

they kept mentioning. How many of me they were in this business?
1049
That’s why I liked... the tags and stuff. When I was going out I
had like a dog collar on or something, which said how many people
knew me and when I was part seen. Much more than just the people
who...
• Someone talking about noise... going to bed... made up a word...

some things to say... I'm talking about my dad? I think so. Those
names re... Those names are ridiculous. The band members' names.
“Gabriel Gracefuldeath.” These surnames are like two words put to-
gether.
• We were talking about Christian Rocket Science or something and

I was like “Wait, where’s my camera!” And I got all confused be-
cause I thought I was talking to my camera. Yeah, it's a job. It’s a
profession! Christian rocket science. I don't know if they even believe
in rockets.
I’m gonna get up now. I’ve been lying here hallucinating for the
last twenty minutes. I don't think anything that I've said is from
my original dream except that part about that guy in the boat
with a bunch of letters to give to a child who was like in the next
boat. What was going on in that boat...?
“MOUNT THE TOM”
09/20/2014 | 4:59 PM
Something about mounting my toms at the end. I was getting
someone’s opinion on the size of the toms. It was like 27 inches,
black metal, or something.
1051
“LOTTERIES”
09/21/2014 | 9:20 AM
I'm pretty sure I just spent like the last 10 minutes talking. I
think I thought I was talking to my camera but my camera wasn't
even recording. I kept getting tied up and there were lotteries
and there were these half caps that had electrical currents cours-
ing through them and I was glad I wore one because I went there
thinking that I was... I don’t even know. There were a lot of little
electric caps.
Spooky stuff everywhere. Jars. Well, that’s not really spooky. I'm
not even sure if I'm making any sense, because I'm still halluci-
nating a little bit.
I remember me and my father going out for a drive again, but

he was kind of irritable and we only went around the block like
once or twice, just a really short distance. I remember when we
got in I was like Oh, I'm in the mood for this, and then I turned
up the song on the stereo. But then I realized that we're already
almost back at our house so I was like dammit.
1052
“I’M JUST A COMMON
COMMIE”
09/21/2014 | 5:11 PM
At the end they asked me “What are you?” And I was going
to say “an ectoplast” or something. I was also going to say a
worm. This was the funniest scene. “What are you?” And I an-
swered “I’m just a common commie,” in a sing-songy way, and
they gasped when I said that. So I was confused, and I’m like
“What, ‘commie’? On what planet is that a bad word?” I don't
know what the hell everyone was thinking though. And why the
hell am I a commie.
And this all happened after these girls came walking by and they
were like “what is going on?” Because they didn't know what the
hell they were seeing. Then this was after that guy came walking
out into the hallway. I was walking with the girl. And she had to
go back to class. And I was thinking “Whoa, is she a teacher?”
And I was thinking every time she says “how are you are” or
something else to somebody in some language, it sounded like
Haagen Dazs, or something like that, and I told her “Every time
you say ‘How are you’ I end up hungry.” The character I was play-
ing in this dream wasn’t really anything like me. Very nuts.
And then this guy came out and he’s just standing there. I just
did this really gay smile at him. I forget, but it was so gay looking.
And he said something to me, and I said something back, but I
don’t remember what that was. He walked away and the woman
saw me smile at him and said “What’s going on here?” in a con-
cerned or confused voice. I’m just like “I’m just a common com-
1053
mie.” It was just a really nice school on the inside and it was awe-
some.
She wasn’t a teacher, but I suspected she was when she opened
the door and she went to her desk, I was like wait, is she one?
Since it looked like a different kind of desk. She was definitely
old enough to be a teacher and very attractive. We were walking
around the building for a while and she kept using a foreign lan-
guage and accent. Like if people walked by she would give a cour-
teous “how are you” and I got so hungry after all those how are
you’s.
This all occurred in the final scene.

“DISGUSTING HUMAN
BEINGS”
09/22/2014 | 9:05 AM
There was some giant animal monster thing buried in the center
of the Earth deep down below the surface of the earth. I don't
know if it was something like a mother monster I do not know
is freaky though. I don't remember anything else about it. But at
the end when I was outside moving stuff around, I had to move
some certain way or arrange a certain way that allowed these peo-
ple to have like the see-through clothes on it was really disgust-
ing me. I’m like “I’ll still be nice to them, but I think they’re
an example of disgusting human beings.” I said something really
harsh. I forget who I was talking to. There was a deity-like thing
that worked in this place.
Some of the little wombat creatures. Something with Nanny and

Poppop and something hitting these little creatures with a stick
in the final moments.
• Are you just as disappointed as me that the doors didn’t open? ...
Force them... oh man, I’m tired. Wow...
• I remember sitting there and talking to this guy. “How many

things did you suck?” “The things I did DO suck. The things I did
ARE this way. And they were sitting there talking to these creepy,
professional looking guys. I remember the look on his face. It was
kind of smiling but at the same time it's very embarrassing. You can
tell it was hard for him to hear what was going on, that these people
were just making jokes about this because he loved his music. Okay,
there was... a dream about me making music...
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• I don’t know... international... contribution... in a natural... so

the person started mocking me... what? I hear the words I'm saying
but in my mind I'm thinking... the words I’m saying don’t make any
sense. I'm not talking about my dream, I'm talking about reality.
What am I talking about? I’ve been hallucinating for like the last
10 minutes. I don't know where this is going. I don't even know how
much of this has been talking. I remember having a good friend in
my dream that didn't feel like a real person. What was that... like
they were a robot or something.
• I'm just lying here and I see like this big bald dude talking about
this guy’s death. He’s like “This director of this something something
something board. He’s now one thing closer to the something some-
thing.” He was talking about his death, the guy who posted the bul-
letin. Looks like a tough dude. Not like the type to care about death,
or pretends not to.
“RESTAURANT FOR PEOPLE
WHO FLEW AND WHO USED
TO FLY”
09/23/2014 | 9:29 AM
Some girl and I were doing some weird kissing challenge and
we were French kissing with our tongues, but we were doing it
so strangely. We were spinning our tongues around so fast. She
started doing it first but I was able to keep up with her and it sur-
prised her. I remember her saying “I know you don't like to ad-
mit but the last few times I ever saw you we did a lot of this,” and
I'm like lWhat do you mean?” I was confused. Meanwhile I had
a gameboy color in my hand and I was saving my Pokémon game
while she was telling me this.
We had met back up at the restaurant: a restaurant for people

who flew and people who used to fly, or something like that. It
was yeah, I remember going in there and walking in there and
I couldn't get to the next floors because you had to fly to get to
them and it was really cool. You weren’t always reminded that
everyone else can fly and not you, but the waitress didn’t like
people like me hanging out there. So I went outside eventually.
I went and climbed the walls and climbed to the balcony out-
side. I was just doing this weird stuff, but eventually I just kind
of let myself down because I wasn't gonna make up for it, so I
went back down. I remember looking in the window and seeing
the manager lady walking around so I'm like I'm most doing it
anymore I'm gonna get in trouble, so I just went walking down.
I don't even know if this part was here yet. I stumbled into this
little area with gate and I just remember going in the gate and
turning left and there were like six or seven people in there and
1057
they're all scattered far apart from each other and eating food, so
I turned left again, and I forgot what I was trying to I think I was
just trying to go to the bathroom. And on the way there I saw a
girl who was really attractive with dark eye makeup, dark cloth-
ing. I feel like I was in some of my Dean clothes at the time. But
was with her boyfriend, or someone I suppose was her boyfriend.
I remember when I first entered this part of the restaurant. He

walked past me because he was getting something at the time.
So he was walking back in front of me while I was walking to
the bathroom. Then he was walking to her and I’m like Awww
dammit she’s attractive, whereas he himself wasn’t particularly
attractive. So he just went and sat down and put his arms around
her. While had his arms around her and was talking to her, she
was looking over at me with this stare.
That Pokémon thing didn’t make sense, because I had the origi-
nal Gameboy Color in my hand which was like the original blue
or red and I was saving a game that could also be played on the
newer models and I don't know why. Something to do with Poli-
wrath. Then she was like “Okay you pick the challenge or some-
thing.” Because we're competing with each other I think. And
that's not how it was supposed to be. But I forgot how that kiss
started. But we weren't trying to compete with one another but
then we just started keeping up with her and it became really in-
teresting. And that was a really really vivid kiss. Like I remember
my tongue was going at the same speed but hers was still going
ahead of me. And so I was surprised she didn't notice that or say
anything about that when she complimented me.
Okay, what was that thing where I was standing outside on the
back of my deck with Lajos and bees. And he was giving me in-
structions. I remember we got in that fight and it was just very

very serious. What was that... that was a weird dream.
Also in that dream the things I got in the mail were wrong. My
upside down cross necklace was like some stupid spiral black
necklace, and then something else I ordered, like those bracelets
or something like that. It was just ridiculous. Nothing came right
and I got pissed off.
I remember talking to this lady that was working at a register

working at a counter. She was like an official manager. She might
have been the manager of the restaurant. I remember getting
scolded or just maybe having a conversation with her. Yeah, and
the thing would Lajos I still don't remember what happened but
I just remember I was like confined to this very small room. And
he wouldn't let me do something and we were not getting along
at all. And I forget what happened but in the end we were getting
along again but I got pretty anxious from all of it. It was just re-
ally restrictive and anxious but we did make up later. I just don't
remember much about it.
I'm trying to think if the Pokémon game is another thing like

she said “so you know, let's play a game or a challenge or some-
thing,” if she said something like that, and I pulled that out. And
then she liked the Pokémon game and then she kissed me. I don't
know what happened. But it was very strange.
“PARALYTICS”
09/24/2014 | 4:52 PM
Yeah, I was going around and all my friends who were traveling
with me were paralytics. That one guy was in a wheelchair. An-
other guy was always wearing a military jacket, the guy who was
pushing me. And I couldn’t figure out if that was me when I was
walking or not. Couldn’t figure out who's the one pushing him.
But he looked like a guy to stay away from. Something about be-
ing homeless.
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“ACTING LIKE DEAN”
09/25/2014 | 9:24 AM
I recall walking into one room which seemed overcrowded with
something very strange and very evil. Very creepy. I feel like it
was my first time visiting that moment after years and years and
years. I feel like that's what it was. I was kind of visiting the oc-
cult as someone who was now like forty, visiting my old lifestyle,
but that’s not how it went. I’m very confused right now.
Something about Nanny complaining that “Kori’s acting like

Dean.” Some dark things. I remember ordering some things on-
line and receiving weird stuff.
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“BLACK LINES”
09/26/2014 | 9:02 AM
The scene that stands out to me is the scene where there were
several people standing around and they each had like black lines
on their... Everyone had a black line around their wrist, but some
were longer than others. Some went further around the wrist
than others. So they were different lengths. Someone would only
be like an inch long around, and some would wrap almost en-
tirely around the wrist. And it was just kind of weird. I forget. I
mean, I had something... I forget what my wrist looks like com-
pared to theirs. I don't know if I had a lot or a little or what?
I just remember that that was a thing. Then there was another
scene where Me and Nanny and Poppop and everyone else in the
house were taking pictures. And the dog was in it. And she was
making the stupidest silliest faces when we were getting ready to
take a photo. And I was laughing and just kept making silly faces.
And then they took the photo. But they took it right in a mo-
ment where the dog looked away or wasn't making as funny of a
face. So I got upset and I told them they had to retake it because
it didn't capture how funny that was. It’s kind of weird.
1062
“SHIPPING”
09/27/2014 | 8:45 AM
Strangest dream of shipping and selling. At the end I grabbed a
shirt for like half price and it sold out. I came back for cheaper
before I'm like no way but the picture was shot was a little weird.
I remember seeing it a long time ago in my dream but it had a re-
ally bad picture. I think it was really blurry and wasn’t showing
right.
Will was in my dream. He came over and was looking around my

room and he went to the drum kit and he just started playing and
I had to pay him or something because he put on a performance
or something. He was one of the first 10 to do it for me since
the...since there were like millions of zombie people who would
have liked to do the same. I don’t know, I forget.
1063
“UNDELIVERABLE”
09/27/2014 | 5:19 PM
I had something to deliver to someone. A package that was sup-
posed to be undeliverable for a weird reason. I was trying to de-
liver it to them. And there was that part where I was lying under
a tree and my mom came up and I forget if she was causing harm
or good, but I know that at one point she was rubbing my back,
so I remember seeing something online after I looked up (?) right
before the end of the dream, there was someone who was like
“Read to this to see some very few to read how to never be unable
to send a package.” It was like some very easy tips and it makes
the package good... it keeps it usable, like so it's not like I get
there and it can't be handed to them because it's been tampered
with or something. Oh I’m fading fast. I kept going between two
different places. I went to this one place, this main world, to this
world it was like here, well not here but it was outside. But then I
ran back and there was an area underneath a tree which is one of
the places that I used to hang out, and then there was a cliff that
I'd walked down and entered into this new place, so that took me
to the world place where I was just running around doing deliv-
eries. Wish I was dressed as Hermes or something. Yeah my mom
argued with me several times. I think she was talking about how
my knees were stained and then she wanted to castrate me or
something bizarre. I remember having a long conversation with
someone else, and I remember that something Greek was in it.
1064
“TWO UGLY QUEENS”
09/29/2014 | 9:33 AM
What was that hilarious photo picture at the end? It was some-
thing on an amusement park ride. It wasn't quite a roller coaster
but was not dissimilar. It’s like three Scandinavians. No. Two
queens, one king, two dead Queens, one confused queen. It was
really funny. That was not not the words at all but they were
like the ugliest people and the people in the restaurant laughed.
“those are some ugly queens”or something else so high up. I wish
someone would send me my box back.
1065
“HEAVIER SHIRTS”
10/02/2014 | 1:59 PM
My dream this morning was something along the lines of I was
looking at shirts, but then I was telling myself “I need to start
getting some heavier shirts. It's time. I can't get these anymore.
It's time I get some heavier shirts. It's time I get some thicker
sweat-shirts.”
1066
“SEE YA LATER, E.Z.”
10/02/2014 | 4:21 PM
Don't put the egg on the China. That guy kept coming. Alright,
EZ! Take care, EZ! That scroll I saw of that skeleton running for
its life in the haunted mansion going “when I wanted to live in
a haunted house. I had in my mind something that was about
half a haunted house half a real house” and he's like “is that too
much to ask for” something like that. And he's running down the
street from all these zombies or things like that, because I lured,
or I did something. I was trying to remember in my dream what
those letters EZ had to do it because even though that dude was
calling me the word easy, I was thinking at that time that there's
some There's a section of my biography about the two letters EZ
and me finding out this is something, because in because of my
dream, I was thinking people kept referring to this to me with
just numbers for a long time, these letters that found out it was
something dark and creepy. Like, course, but like it was also the
nickname. It stood for something that was a nickname of some
guy who was like, it was really creepy sounding. And I remem-
ber looking at my autobiography and thinking about different
things and I was getting annoyed because all the emotions that I
felt looked nothing like they felt on paper. I was thinking, I was
thinking time, like, Man, when I wrote that EZ. I just went, well,
“you'll never believe this.” And I realized that at the time that I
was writing that I was having a breakdown, I could barely see it
straight.
Okay, so what was the deal with that guy who kept calling me
EZ. We were inside a bookstore. And he was a really nice old guy.
He really trusts me and gave me permission to do something.
1067
And so woman, I think there was a woman, someone who's old,

like 50s, 60s. When a woman came by and didn't like something
that was being done and I had to take responsibility for it, be-
cause I did part or most of it, if not all of it. She was like “I
don't want you in this position. You're out.” And then this old
guy was really nice. He's like “I put him there because I like him
there” And she's like, Yeah, well, we're gonna get him out of that.
Because he's clearly not qualified. And then she goes, stomping
away talking about some results and tests. And some vote, some
poll or something, then he turns to me, he's like, “Don't worry,
EZ. I like ya.”
“I'm telling you what, listen, you're gonna be able to do this, be-
cause I like ya.” And he's just looking at me. He’s like “ see later
EZ.” Even in my dream I didn’t know why he was calling me that.
At first. I was like, does he call everyone that, but then I realized
it was only me.
I don't know what that thing with that skeleton was though, but
it was some kind of thing like I didn't want to go to... it was at the
very end of the dream and I didn't want to go to House. There
were a lot of things wrong with it. And I knew that I did some-
thing weird. And it showed all these things. Well, I don't know
how to describe this. There was a skeleton that at one point in
time was being locked inside of a room in the house. I had like,
knocked something in place, or gotten a bunch of little mech-
anisms to get and keep them locked in there. And I knew it
wouldn't last long, but it would last long enough for me to get
out. So now it's showing me what happened when he got out
after I had already left, and so I didn't want to go back there
because I didn’t want to see any of these things. These creepy
horror movie things. When he went doing something. All these
other monsters chased him into the hall. Like he wasn't one of
them. And it was very weird to him. And he's like, “I hate it
here! When I had it in my mind I was gonna live inside of a
dark manor I thought it would be half haunted house half nor-
mal manor.” He's like “this is not fair.” And he just got chased out
of the building. It was just one of the first life it's kind of weird
ending
Okay, there was some part with Aisha she was doing some stupid
things. I think I was in disguise when she saw me and she did
something really mean. Something to do with her And stupid
Micah. Not sure it was. Think she ended up feeling bad for what
she did though.
All that stuff in that dream before where I was just that same
dream where the guy was called me EZ. There were all those. I re-
member walking in a room at one point and there's all these bags
of candy. They're like clear plastic bags filled with candy. I was
just like wow, and I was staring into the bags and I was just like...
they were lying all around me and I might have even been lying
back on some of them because there were so many I just saw pixie
sticks everywhere. I mean there's all different kinds of candy but
I was just interested in pixie sticks in particular.
That was in the dream before.

“BEHEMOTH”
10/03/2014 | 9:37 AM
Okay, I just had some kind of weird tenement dream. The earliest
thing I remember was watching something and looked like the
singer from behemoth. He was like onstage at a show and he was
like, praying for... he was pretending to do a sermon or some-
thing. And he's like praying and his voice was getting progres-
sively more growly and it was kind of creepy, but kind of cool.
But then I remember sitting there on the couch in Londonber-
ryupstairs. Well, it wasn't exactly like that room. And Poppop
was sitting across from me responding to something I said he
was. He was like, Yeah, I sleep pretty well, too. And I'm like,
Well, my problem is, I'm like “I sleep all right once I'm out. I have
a hard time getting to sleep though.” And and he's like, yeah, lis-
tening to music while you're sleeping. Is bad, because...” as he was
talking, his voice was trailing off. And he was just getting quieter.
And he wasn't realizing. It wasn't just like a weird dream thing
where he's getting more muffled. And like, and I'm having a hard
time hearing. He was really, it was really his fault. It was just get-
ting quieter and more lazy. And it's kind of weird. And I was sit-
ting on the floor, because I moved on to the floor when he start-
ed talking. I looked at my dad while Poppop’s was talking and I
mean a weird looking and shifted my eye really weird. Just in a
way he probably couldn't see, but my father could just because,
like, why is he talking so quietly? I mean, it was because Moevot
is playing on, like an iPod in the room. And I was just like, I can
only hear the music. Notre Per. I could hear it in my sleep.
When he finally paused and left a break, I was like “Yeah, I saw
something on the Discovery Channel about how brains... how
1070
music imitates something something brain activity. He’s like,

“yeah, that's what I'm talking about.” And I’m like “it is?” And
he’s like , “Yeah, I saw it, too.” And my father started to try and
look it up on his phone. But um, and it's weird, because all the
facts and stuff we gave sounded totally believable, but they're
nothing that I've actually done in real life. Like I never watched
something on the Discovery Channel about music, brainwaves.
And I don't listen to music while I fall asleep even though I was
defending it
“BALEY”
10/03/2014 | 2:52 PM
Okay another one of those quick ones with metal stuff. Okay,
first of all, there was that guy I was calling Bailey. But it was actu-
ally Schwab. I was calling them Bailey. I wasn't talking to myself.
But I was like, Wait, is that him? And it was like this guy who
looked rundown. She said he’s been through the V, or Vee, and I
guess that meant rehab for some reason.
I got distracted by some of the people in the other end of the

room. Because I think I was like, looking at the screen, but then
also in those in that room. And so it's like, Wait, who's that? I was
looking at this person, like, is that a woman? Because they had
their face covered a little strangely, like on the bottom? I was just
kind of surprised. And then Bailey also got up and walked out.
Okay, what the hell. I remember there was that part where I was
sitting there checking the tracking information on my eBay pur-
chase and I kept picking, I kept hitting check tracking, and I
hit it and it was like a request has been something something to
them. And I'm like, Wait, I thought to myself, every time I click
to see the tracking does it send him a note saying I’m requesting
to see tracking? But I checked the wording and no.
1072
“THE APPROACH”
10/04/2014 | 8:58 AM
I was at the mall. I remember walking outside had something in
my hand that I had just gotten I was really glad to have. I don't
think I bought it. I think I won it. Something big I'm not sure
what it was. It was kind of silly though. It was like a big sign
board that had a slogan and a picture of a person. This guy ap-
proached me while I was walking around with one other person.
He was talking for a minute or two. And he's like, that's pret-
ty cool. I wouldn't mind having one of those myself. In fact I'm
just gonna take it from you. And then he got this really violent
expression on his face. And he just reached out and he tried to
put me in a lock or something, trying to do something kind of
creepy, it wasn't just like take it and run, but something kind of
weird he tried to do something kind of weird to me. And so I just
remember yelling. I was trying to scream but I couldn't scream.
I tried to scream but it was like. It started at first you could hear
something sounding like a scream but then it just went hoarse.
Then a cop showed up and he helped me out. I think the other

guy escaped but the cop took me in his car. All of a sudden it was
nighttime.
seats were really cramped. I was in the back seat. It was really
cramped and I was just making conversation and observations
about these little things like “ahhhh you're listening to this” and I
was pretty nervous but at the same time I wasn't so I was kind of
just fidgety. A weird scenario. He had me explain what happened
but he was by my side.
1073
Seem to recall spending a while in his car. That was a while ago,
that was a while before I woke up. It was very weird.
There was that part with John. He was playing guitar, he was
playing a concert with guitar. I remember listening to someone
play guitar, and there was something wrong with the way they
were playing. I really don't remember.
I feel like there was more that this guy was trying to steal than
just what was in my hands. I feel like it represents many things.
Like it said something on it so everything that it said was repre-
sented by ...I don't know.
But I remember there's one point where It was showing John

playing, trying to play before a crowd and everything he was
playing was out of tune. And it was showing him in a reference
to something else. Like there was someone who's like a bad player
who couldn’t play right. And they just couldn't get anything
right. And they're like, “Well, what's better or worse, this guy?”
They're like, “what's better? Is this guy any better? I mean, he can
actually play his stuff, but he doesn't know how to tune properly
and everything is out of tune. Everything sounds awful, and no
strings are correct.” And it showed John playing for a crowd.
Something with Ally. My mom was referring to a time when Ally

was going around. I saw some pictures of her with all these dif-
ferent wares, because she was selling these wares like merchan-
dise. She was in these pictures surrounded by hundreds of these
things she was selling and in each picture there would different
kinds of items I don't know why she was doing it but she was go-
ing around selling these things I don't remember what they were
I felt embarrassed that I yelled. I think it did or did I feel that

right away or feel after the fact. I remember racing through some-
thing also and then looking back and then just racing through
these hurdles, not like normal hurdles that you jump over.
“CENTIPEDE CHAIR”
10/04/2014 | 5:03 PM
I was with Patrick and he did something very very wrong. I don’t
know what it was though. So I pretended it was all going by per-
fectly just to see how he acted. And I said this marks the some-
thing something of our friendship. Now we’re at the same dis-
tance from our first event together to this. And he interrupted
me in the beginning to say the same thing, so I was like wow you
noticed it too. Then we just walked off down this huge hill to cel-
ebrate some sort of an anniversary celebration.
The fact that that vacuum had tons of wheels on the bottom...
centipede version, and I remember him fooling with that. And
there was that part at the very end where I was in a computer
chair that had tons of wheels like that and I was getting closer
and closer to the hill.
And a woman who looked like Colleen and my father started

running after me saying “No, no, no way.” I'm like “you're not
putting enough faith in my ability to stop myself.” He’s like “it
doesn't matter.“
And I’m like “we're not gonna go down there. I just want to see
what's up. I just want to see if there’s anything down there.”
Fucking move! Okay, I’m hallucinating. I think I was talking to

my mom. Like fucking move. Get out of my way dammit. She
was standing in my way doing something stupid.
But yeah then at the very end there was something down in the
pit. I wanted to go down on that chair and I think that's what
we were referring to. The chair had so many legs and I still some-
1076
how went down there and won an auction for the chair or in the
chair. I did some that I think was illegal and got it for only $45
even though Starting price itself should be $200-$300 more.
“RAILCAR”
10/05/2014 | 9:43 AM
Going across, Traveling all over the place on these weird train
tracks, in a two piece cart. It was like, pretty small, two little sec-
tions, like five by five squares. And but I think me and Mark were
riding around, each in one square. And we were going nuts, bat-
tling one another from those squares.
1078
“YVYNING”
10/06/2014 | 8:47 AM
There was... Dean was... making his own shirt... At first it had
dogs on it... then it had goats... I was trying to... online shopping?
There was a lot of weird social interaction in this one. While I
was sitting there I had a hallucination that three people came
running in, peaked around the corner, and I looked at them, and
their faces were all painted up, and I said "is it already that time
of the morning where people come in, race to get the names they
want?" and the guy goes "Yeaaaah." One of the names was like
"Evening" but with some letters taken out and replaced with Y's.
Or it was something like evening. Might not have been.
I carried around like extra pens in my pockets... and had extra

shirts with me... maybe some size...maybe one was medium. Dif-
ferent shirts. That's what started it off in the beginning. Had
some extra shirts on hand if I wanted them. But I refused to have
my shirts too big. The ones I was going to sell. So I wasn't going
to sell any that were extra large.
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“SNACKING TIME TRAVELER”
10/06/2014 | 6:07 PM
Dream when I was traveling through time. "Awww man, from
now on I'm only time warping to times when we had full cabi-
nets and lots of snacks."
I was standing in the kitchen. I was dancing to some funk song.

I had just appeared and I was l freaking out basically. It was Pop-
pop’s birthday, too. Asia was on a hunt looking for something in
the cabinet, but then she felt bad because he asked for (pepper-
mint) oil, asked if she had any, and she said no, and I was help-
ing her hide his present, which we had just taken out of the cabi-
net, which was its temporary spot so it’s good we took it out just
then. And we felt bad that what he asked for wasn't there, and
I looked in the cabinet and saw oils and different cookies and I
thought "wow... good..." ‘cause I just got back from a place where
there wasn't any food/snacks in the house.
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“PRESETS”
10/08/2014 | 9:42 AM
Loudspeakers and growling. Greek coming through the loud-
speaker. At the very end I was with Anita. She was making a
bunch of preset songs for me on this machine. I was supporting
her. We were clearly together. Something weird about it but I
can’t remember the details.
Anita was on a platform rearranging these tiles. And it was so

complicated and I don’t remember what this was all about, but
everyone knew who she was. It was so intimidating. But it was
almost like a game. Very strange.
I just remember the one final scenes was just there was like these
weird beds floating around and it was like this attic room was
huge is really cool it was just this really private place and you had
to walk over to another room where they're like all these beds
floating just in a weird pattern it was almost like a video game
where you have to step onto a platform and that moves around
you have to wait till it gets to the next platform to move on to
the other one and because there's just like empty space around it
so you don't want to fall off or anything into space felt like Frog-
ger or something like that.
Anita was working on something. I was really surprised that she

took to me in the way she did, because I think at one point I felt
like I was just following her around, but she always made sure
that I was still back there. Always come back to make sure that I
was still there. And what was she working on on those beds? She
was setting things up and then moving on to the next. I remem-
ber lying down on one of them. It was really really comfortable.
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“ZERO-ONE”
10/09/2014 | 8:26 AM
Ended with that weird scene of me going to like these inner
tubes, taking these weird exit. And right when I was about to
take an exit I could see how many people took the exit before me.
I was just wearing a shirt and a leather jacket.
All these doors that said “ONE” on them. That was always really
exciting. Lots of them.
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“PUNK KID”
10/09/2014 | 10:32 AM
Driving around that car with that punk kid and I remember
when we were in the car we passed by that deer that had been hit
in an accident. It was barely alive and its head was almost com-
pletely gone. Its head was in the most unnatural position. I was
like Oh my god. Someone says look a deer! And I asked if it was
still alive. And I was like that’s the worst thing I've ever seen in
my life. It was bent back as if hanging on by a thread yet it was
still trying to deal with it and stand up. Really creepy.
Me and that guy running around. He was totally a jerk. Every

time we walked around I would just say something like “Hey, do
you want to do this?” “No.” “Do you like this?“ “No.” not a nice
guy. Too concerned with being a punk.
there's other stuff I was just thinking about. Stuff with Asia. I was
pissed off with her and Micah. Remember standing in the pine
hill kitchen for a while organizing some lists of things. My father
... that time we were supposed to go on vacation he did some-
thing really jerky. He came home and made me think he was go-
ing to lock me in this uncomfortable position for ten more min-
utes while we were listening to some blood... nasty fake blood...
(?)
We were fighting about music. Me, him and Asia. I was in the
backseat. At one point I was in the bathroom and dad asked me
to hold something for her. Might have been a cigarette.
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I was asleep. I was thinking something like gonads or something

with universal something pictures? I don't know what is wrong.
What is wrong with my brain?
I think with the punk guy. I liked a song by this band he liked.
And it wasn't a very punk song. So he was like yeah I don’t like
that.
There's like this weird tent on the deck. There's some kind of
weird contraption outside like on a deck or something. I'm not
sure where it was. It was outside though. Something weird was
going on. And someone was locked inside of it. Probably. And
one of those work mates of my father’s was doing something
crazy.
“COP”
10/10/2014 | 11:06 AM
Right at the end of this dream the cop walked across the hall to
mail that person's package.
Cop walked across the hall and that person's packaged as gross
package. And then he came walking slowly over the door and
came inside the door and looked into if we're all dressed as those
those two girls was Asia standing around, because I head down
so far, there's only one me because I knew that my name on the
registry was completely different than any of the other names
that he knew me by.
What are we talking about? We're talking about... there’s that

thing. You get some kind of points deducted for doing things
that are anti-Christian. I remember seeing someone talking
about secular music. Someone was like “stop with that crap. Lis-
ten to this band instead.” someone was then like “That’s points
off !” And it showed this dark picture with lipstick.
I remember running around outside at night. I was doing crazy

things. I had all these aliases and was going around causing trou-
ble within this campus. I had like multiple clubs going or some-
thing. I was doing something crazy.
I don’t know why she was getting someone to mail her package.
Long conversation about rocks. Thinking about stones in New

Jersey partially covered in blood because then I could add fun
stories to them. (This is a reference to an instance in my youth
when someone from my childhood church returned from a visit
to the site at which David and Goliath purportedly battled and
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offered everyone stones, whereas I opted for the stone with a red
stain on it because I liked to imagine it was the stone that killed
Goliath).
What was it doing? Rocks we didn't know more things weren't

there we're interested in the ways to do nice things about digging
up old stones in New Jersey that we use a lot just because I got
to add fun stories in my mind I was like yeah, we tend to be
more knowledgeable things were interested in and she was ask-
ing about all the stones and I feel it's yesterday like to you was.
Okay, there was that weird part where someone was sending
death threats to the guy I was with. And he was responding to
them really maturely. There's one point where he had walked
away and I had his phone and someone sent him a message. And
when the death threat came, I walked away with the phone, and
I wrote him this really long sentimental text message. Like saying
“what do you think about someone like that, someone like that
who has done this in his life, done this in his life and treats peo-
ple like this, and someone who people care about...” I forget what
I said. But I remember the guy responded saying “I love him.”
It was kind of a strange sentimental scene. I remember when I

went off to write the text message. I went over to the side and
I was wading through these waters. The waters were up to like
my chest. I was just like wading through them while I was tex-
ting, and I received the message almost immediately. I remember
I had to come looking over to make sure the guy didn’t see that I
had taken his phone.
And I guess I already mentioned how that cop was after me and
so every time something weird happened I was always there and
he kept threatening me, and so there was that one time where he
delivered that girls letters and then he came across the hall and
looked into the room just to see what's going on and I was sitting
on the couch and I had my head turned down because I knew he
was staring at me and I'm pretty I'm pretty positive he knew it
was me.
“THE LICHEN EXPERT”
10/10/2014 | 7:40 PM
Part where I was drawing pictures. People like Jacob and Sarah
and Melody. Sarah called me up about Jacob. Then there was
this cat and some other girl going around in my house looking
for something about a log. They wanted to know what this log
would do. They're asking about some moss or something and
I’m like “Oh this one? Are you looking for it for such and such
reason?” And I had all this information for them. Then there
was one time I bent over and I crouched down in front of her
and I said some really weird line that made her crack up because
what I did was very wrong. They were young. I had been drawing
pictures in the beginning of all these people I knew, especially
church purple. I remember standing in the crowd in the begin-
ning. Tyler was across the way staring at me, ten to fifteen feet
always. He was staring at me uneasy because he didn’t know if
I was okay with him approaching and he was trying to give me
space or read the situation.
I remember going back outside at night and finding some differ-

ent pages taped together on the ground that I forgot the previ-
ous night. That was after some more stuff. I was like what is this
doing here? That was after something with my parents
I was outside with my music. I had Belphegor on really loud be-

cause the dogs were barking so loud. So I turned on the Blood
Magick Necromance album, especially the first two songs. And
my mother came outside to talk to me at one point but she was
visibly upset because of how loud I was playing it... not unlike
what happened earlier today in real life. I remember the music
was cutting in and out at one point.
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I picked up a pair of binoculars and looked over there and could

see a bunch of teenagers standing over there. And they stuck
their tongues out at me and I yelled something. But what I yelled
wasn’t cool. And they ended up making light of it from afar or
something. I'm like, Okay, not only was that not cool. I should
have said so many other things instead. I kept thinking I should
have yelled “You have no idea who you’re messing with! You have
no idea who you’re messing with!” But I think I just yelled “You
damn fools!”
There was that guy at the bar. Then he was speaking of this girl
that he used to know, when he was young. And this was like,
right after, there was another scene where he was like sending
someone else off with her. So I mean, I think this happened a bit
before that. So it was weird, because it showed that he did think
highly of her. And so it wasn't easy for him to do what he just did.
A woman with a piano.
I remember those pics of Veronica. And she had someone else's

like, she had someone else's face cut out and stuck to the bottom
half of her face. And she was sleeping like just your eyes barely
poking out from underneath. She was sleeping underneath. And
so the name of her profile page online was weird. She combined
Her name with some man's name. The man that she was now liv-
ing with or something. And it was like this pointy featured in-
die guy with ginger hair. Kind of Van Gogh-ish. But it was weird.
Like she had part of his face on. It was a mask, yes, but...
Sarah complemented the pic I drew of Jacob. And she’s like “I

see you’re getting along with him now.” I’m like why would you
make that assumption! I don’t have anything against him. But
what leads you to that assumption? She says I can tell by how you
drew the pic. I remember giving her a speech about some similar
inclinations or disposition between me and him or something.

And I could tell what he's doing when he's not here, and when he
is here, so I was like yeah, I know what he's up to. I know what
he's doing. And it makes me curious. I forget what I was saying
but it's almost like I was thinking me and him were too similar.
I remember several times thinking I was in a crowd of a bunch of

cool people and was just sitting there. There's these punk kids on
the left side of the room that were making. My mom was mak-
ing these faces at them. Oh, I remember that she was like look-
ing at them from across the room and I kept looking back and
forth between her and the kids. Because there were just a bunch
of guys over there talking to Asia and they're all snarly looking.
And I kept looking at my mom's expression. So I was gonna go
“we got some dicks over there on the left side of the room there,”
or “so we got some jackasses over on the left side of the room,” I
was gonna say that right while looking at them, but I didn't end
up doing it.
But yeah, my mom needed help with something. And so one by

one all the guys started standing up and volunteering.’It was just
like, oh, hang on, I’ll come. All but me. I felt weird in the end be-
cause I was the only guy still sitting down. But I wasn't physically
capable of doing that. I mean, everyone understood that, but it
was still kind of weird.
Yeah, I remember feeling totally cool, because when those two

girls were looking for something I just came out and I'm like “I
know what you're talking about. I could help you with that. Do
you want the one that grows in this kind of log? Or do you want
the one that grows in this? Because they are used for different
purposes.” And they're like, “Wow, I didn't know that.” And I'm
like, “Yeah, I know about that stuff.” I forget what it was. Well,
they're impressed and I felt cool that I was able to help them out.
But it was all dorky, like “how does it feel to be standing next to
the log moss guy” I was just kidding when I did that but it was
pretty funny.
Oh, I forgot about that guy. Um, the long hair guy. I mean, he
was just standing there. And he said a really weird word. It just
showed him standing from the back and he had really long hair,
standing there with like four or five other rich looking guys, it
was like a ballroom scene. He was just standing there. And I don't
know but someone was asking questions among them. And he
had a really funny answer. Like when he said something that he
used a really big word. And he kept like, pausing and it was just
...there's something funny about it that led right into the scene
with the girl at the bar.
Okay, there was also I think the two girls were really like fairy
kind of creatures in my dream. I don’t think they were just little
girls. They were something mythical. Part human but mythical.
And I was helping them find all this certain special lichen.
Then there was that picture I found when I went back and then
looked at the pictures I had on the floor and I found one of
Melody upturned and I picked it up and I flipped it over and it
was Melody and I wrote a note to myself on it explaining why I
didn't put it in my portfolio with the other 30 or 40 pictures of
people and it was shown I drew like so many freckles on her face
and it was just so starry looking and that's why I didn't put it in
there or something. I think there was something else with a dog
coming right up to me and I just remember blasting my music so
loud for so long.
“CAUTION”
10/11/2014 | 11:20 AM
There were those sick people. Looking for a striped... like a cau-
tion sign, or hazard sign. What was that fabric, that material,
called... vervain? What am I talking about...? I was looking for
this material. I was in a house that was being overtaken by mon-
ster people. I went into one doorway at one time, and coming
back, and going back in later to check on the situation, and all
the other people that have been there before have been eaten. I
think there should be a party going on. I went in there and pre-
tended I was really naive. I was like, “Oh, this is the place for
this.” But it wasn't, and there were like these two or three mon-
ster people sitting. Very weird looking. There was a girl there. She
was kind of cool. She had really spiky protuberances coming out
of her. When I came back later there were less people. But I was
fighting through crowds.
Later I was up high upstairs in the attic and something went

wrong. I remember when I got high up I grew afraid, knowing I
was getting close to the boss, the one who was speaking all these
messages to the monsters. Controlling them up top. I don’t think
he was though. But apparently he had his eye on me the whole
time. Like I think a mafia boss. At the end people were asking me
where my coat was and I'm like “My coat is lying on the floor.”
And I had everything that I would need... I had, umm... I don’t
even know what I’m saying.
• People were like... showing me a picture of Jessy Hartleywood. This

guy next door to me was struggling with blindness, and he was ask-
ing “Would you like to meet Jessy Hartleywood?” And I said “No.” I
1092
don’t know if I got that right. I’m half asleep and I don’t know what
I’m saying.
“CUSTOMS, CUSTOMERS”
10/11/2014 | 12:43 PM
• There was this little guy saying “Customs? Customers. They don't
need to eat!” Sort of a sing-songy voice.
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“TANGO”
10/13/2014 | 6:35 AM
There was that guy who was kind of black. He stays in that booth
room behind the shop. And he listens in on different conversa-
tions, making sure that there's nothing wrong going on. He usu-
ally also spies on what people are saying so he could come in and
join the conversation and get to know people better. And he also
takes names and stuff, ideas for things that way. He just came out
and yelled “TANGO!” so I guess Tango is the name he has for...
the owner of the place. But the owner didn’t want him to come
out. So if he hears something wrong, or he's not able to come off
duty and just come out and handle it himself, he just has to tell
Tango and then Tango will come and handle it because the black
dude is supposed to stay in the booth.
1095
“BREAK THE RECORD FOR
BREAKING YOUR FACE”
10/14/2014 | 8:21 PM
At the end I remember I was sitting at a picnic table with these
four other guys. There were already guys sitting at the picnic
table. They called me over. This is how I fell. And I was like
“You just made me fall and break my record and now I'm about
to break a record for breaking your face.” There were four guys.
Patrick and Dan were among them. Then I remember walking
by a little camping picnic site. We were going somewhere. I was
riding on the back of... I was standing up on the back of this
wheelbarrow kind of thing that was being pulled along the road,
while we were all heading over to who the hell knows where. I
was standing up on the top making these grounds like Inquisi-
tion. So then a few minutes later I'm like wait why the fuck am
I doing this this is so boring. I secretly didn't want to go back by
myself because it was like a while. Then I see that one of the guy’s
fathers is like “Yeaaah I’ll come back with you.” Then two other
guys decided to come. Leaving just Tyler on his own, and he was
just doing a job and we all tagged along. Dan said “I only did this
to get my something something and that's not too hard to get.”
On our way back, someone pushed me and I fell down off the
wall onto a table or floor, and an old old guy was sitting there on
the bench looking at me but just wanted to talk, and he asked
“do you play acoustic?” I said “yeah I play guitar. I play electric
and acoustic. I'm not sure which I like better.” and he goes “yeah
you look like you can play an acoustic” then he asks what I like
about something something, then he launches into this mono-
logue about acoustics “on an acoustic you really gotta play if. You
1096
have to figure out which strings you want. You got to figure out
which body you want. Expensive this and that. By the time it fi-
nally comes to you there is something wrong with it.” He just
kept talking. I was trying to listen even though it was just kind
of weird because he was like asking questions but he wasn’t leav-
ing the opening for them to be answered. And then Patrick just
interrupted with his own story like “one time I got” and I just re-
member in my head I was like wow, he was so rude.
There was some bearded guy. There were a whole bunch of peo-
ple staying in one big place. Something spooky and mystical
around here, something to do with a girl. There was a lot more to
it. There was an animal. Oh my god... they killed an animal.
There was a giant dog. I don't think it was a real dog. It was filled
with air but it came at me and it was moving like a real dog. It
was supposed to be fake but it was moving like a real dog. I think
it was a dog. Like big, bigger than me. Came running at me and
sat on my leg. Everyone was laughing and I was like oh jeez what
is it doing. It acted just like a real dog, but its material gave away
its fakeness.
“HEADLESS GIRL”
10/15/2014 | 8:04 PM
Me with that headless girl. We were just lying there when every-
one else was talking around us. And we were really hitting it off.
She was awesome. She seemed a little short. We were just talking
for a long time. I was just leaning against her and falling asleep a
bit. We were hugging and getting more and more chummy. I re-
member putting my arm around her, and when she returned it,
putting her arm around me, I got a chill up my spine, it made me
think "wow", and I said so, and she said something. I remember
I was about to say that I hadn’t been touched in ten years, but
I realized it was best I didn’t say anything. I also remember say-
ing something about a tv show... something I hadn't seen since
I was a child. Like an old nickelodeon show they were talking
about... I forget how it came up. But made allusions to them, and
they were laughing. I remember at one point while she was lay-
ing around, I kind of was on top of her... and although she had
no head, I remember her giving me this weird look... I would like
feel it in the tension of her body, and she had a voice too. But I
forget what she said... The dream was surprisingly romantic/sen-
sual though and her headlessness didn’t seem to matter at all.
1098
“ENDLESS ROAD”
10/16/2014
All I remember from my dream last night is walking down a re-
ally long desolate road in the middle of the night. It had to be
twelve, one, two in the morning, and the road was dark and end-
less. I was just walking a bicycle. I was not on it. I was just walk-
ing it down this empty, creepy, endless road.
1099
“THE MASK”
10/17/2014 | 12:25 AM
At the very end of the dream I was watching some really strange
animation of al these guys who just formed a black metal band...
it was really weird choppy animation, and the last thing I re-
member was someone saying "whoever made...something some-
thing...really just wanted to... something... but I do like that one
with the girl doing her walk...except I would feel funny adding
a wig to that..."or something like that. I remember sitting at
school... there was something going on... I remember there was
something I thought someone did to me. Like a favor. And I
bought it... it was a gift. No it was a gift... I remember someone
telling me "That year your parents got you a mask, and a some-
thing, and a something... and they were going to spend ninety,
but it came out to 99... but that's... and this and this and this" all
the one liners were just kind of strange.
There was also a part where I remember a girl. She looked kind
of like Anita but I knew it wasn’t her. There were a bunch of
people gathered together and we were over in a corner, she was
talking to me, and she wanted me to take her picture. I forget
the circumstances surrounding that. I picked up the camera, but
I was making her do something before I took the picture. Like
some preparation that was kind of weird. Like I wouldn’t take
the photo if all conditions weren’t met. I just remember when I
was trying to frame it in the camera, trying to center the image,
I was just trying to make sure the center was aligned, and I had
to make her do something or me do something before taking the
photo, and shortly after that I had a conversation with some-
one about... they were asking me something about the guitar, and
1100
said "I won’t be doing that until I have a better model, better ef-
fects" and it was right after that when they were talking about
"Yeah for christmas your parents were originally just going to
spend this much, but then they ended up getting you a mask, a
helmet, some armor, something something..."
“INTRODUCTIONS”
10/18/2014 | 11:32 AM
I was riding down the street on my stomach and almost got hit
by a car. Then I got up and began talking to these people and
ended up going away with them to their house. We hung out.
Two guys and a girl. I guess I was Dean because I was wearing
a Bathory shirt. I remember the girl started talking about some
kind of music and I knew what she was talking about, and I
thought "Oh my gosh!" and then I was just arguing "Nah, I like
this album better.” There was something that was way too sexual
for me. Nothing that happened, but something that was talked
about... or suggested, and I thought "Noooooooooooooo." Don’t
remember what it was though. But yeah. The earliest thing I can
remember in the dream is me and my father looking through
some stuff and me going "Whoa I haven't seen these in years!"
and they were skates or skateboards or something, and then I
went flying down the road on it on my belly, and I almost got hit
by a car because it came by right as I was starting to get a hang of,
right as I took off, right around the corner, and I remember hear-
ing my father gasping, and I thought "OH GOD, OH GOD!"
and so I started spinning out of control, and they started doing
the same, but it seemed like wherever they were going to get out
of the way, I was going too, accidentally... so we kept going on
and on... but yeah I remember when the guy introduced him-
self to me... I totally blanked out. "What do I introduce myself
as... what do I introduce myself as..." and so I picked Kori, then
thought "OH GOD, I CAN'T BELIEVE I SAID THAT!" then
when the girl from across the room came to introduce herself to
me I thought to myself ' "Is it possible to change that to Dean
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even though the guy that I just introduced myself to as Kori is

still standing right here?"
“PINK N’ PETE”
10/21/2014 | 11:25 AM
My father and I were standing by the bathtub talking about the
‘Pink n' Pete’. At the end... don’t know what I was going on
about... the pete... the pink n’ pete. ‘Cause he got my cigarettes
wet. So we're standing at the tub. This is after I tried to fit into
a cool outfit of his... chains on it that I couldn’t get it through...
and you couldn’t undo them so I had to throw it over my head...
really cool. But even the medium didn’t fit me... so I —— have
any more cigarettes. Must have been an old pack. ‘Cause he just
dropped several in the bathtub. It was such a long dream and it
really felt like days.
I remember that plotline... that girl I met in public... and she

got my contact information... and I forget what happened, but
she lost her cellphone in public. And maybe something else, like
her wallet. And I think the police had to help her search for
them. I’m pretty sure the police were with her all the time... I
forget what the circumstances were when I first met her... run-
ning around the mall. Large desolate building. Supposed to be
the mall, but more dark and gymnasium look. I remember when
I met her and her friend. I think they are the people I met when I
was hanging out outside that bathroom. The port-a-potty thing.
I was just standing outside of it, and some guy was like "What are
you DOING?" and I was just standing there... singing...outside
the bathroom... but I didn’t need to go. I was just standing there
and making noises, too. So eventually I got that girl's number,
but she lost her phone so she wasn’t able to call me. Or I think
she did once, but then she needed to search for it. I remember
later on I was online, using a fake name, and talking to people. I
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wanted to say hey to her, but I only had a fake name. I wanted to
go on and say "Hey, this is Tendon," but I was afraid other people
on the account would see that I posted on her page saying it was
Tendon. I didn't know what to do, but I was going to say some-
thing vague, like "Hope you found what you were looking for,”
‘cause I didn’t want others to know she had lost her cell, for some
reason.
The guy with the shark car broke into the house and we got in
a big fight about the gun ‘cause my father wasn’t getting it quick
enough, had to wake him up. And the shark guy drew all over
the faces in my yearbook. And stole my fabric patterns.that I was
going to use for something. He was driving a shark down the
street. Freaked me out. I was sitting there talking with Jeiezza
and looked out the window, he was driving up and down the
street, back and forth, back and forth, and I thought oh my
god...I ran upstairs "GET YOUR GUN!” my father was talking
all slow and sleepy, and even my father was going "Hey, get your
gun!" and he was just like "Lisssssten... I’m not takkkkking soooo
long," and it was just frustrating. And I’m pretty sure that by
the time he finally got the gun the criminal had already left... we
could hear him in the downstairs... and he had already done what
he did with the yearbook and stole my fabrics from the counter-
top that I was going to use for a project... that’s all. And then he
left. But it was quite frightening.
When that guy showed up at the house, I started to wake up...

and I felt myself returning to consciousness, and I thought "Oh
no, I wanted to see how this goes..." and I remember at that mo-
ment I looked up at the wall, and there were tons of different
numbers arranged in a sequence on the wall. I started counting
them aloud, focusing on them, and somehow I felt the reality
disappearing and the dream coming back stronger, because I was
so focused on these dream elements, so I was bringing myself

back into sleep. It was bizarre, because I felt the real world fading
away, and I thought "Great... it’s working. I did it.”
(I was prepared to kill him but I wasn't prepared for the conse-
quences)
“HAIRCUT”
10/23/2014 | 8:59 PM
Girl sitting in a class... she was walking through class... and there
was a giant dog...sitting there? We were talking about Owens?
That's really weird... because in my dream we didn’t know he had
died. We were all talking about how we wished he would come
back... just generally... someone was calling him their knight...
just talking about some piece of cardstock paper they wrote his
name on... they were talking about "That is a something some-
thing TICKET!" talking about how they once got a ticket that
was something like this but not like this... and how kind he was.
Yeah at the end I remember this girl walking to class. And it was
showing from the perspective of like something sitting on one
of these chairs. Someone in the room... and the girl was walking
down the aisle to it, and you could see that her lip was a little
curled or afraid... but it was quick, so she got rid of that... and she
walked over to that and said "Pupppyyyy" or "doggggy" in a high
voice, and apparently it was a huge dog sitting on the chair. Ap-
parently the girl was mildly afraid of it... but she was trying to be
nice to it... she might have been the one who rescued it. So she
wanted to make it feel at home... but you could tell she was a lit-
tle afraid of it. I remember it showing a girl sitting nearby, and
I was surprised when I saw her sitting nearby, because I thought
that girl was out getting her haircut at this point, and I thought
"How long will I have to wait until that girl goes out and gets her
haircut a lot shorter? ‘Cause that’s one of the main plot points
coming up.”
1107
“THE MANSION”
10/24/2014 | 2:06 PM
Some big mansion-like house. There was a party going on. And
there was a lot of people I used to know. I didn't know that at
first. I didn't realize that till later. But I was hanging outside and
running across this busy highway. While there was the party go-
ing on, I was dressed in some kind of outfit. I can't remember ex-
actly what the deal was with the outfit. On one hand, I'm think-
ing it was a really bizarre costume but on the other hand, I think
it was something that it was really cool and attractive. I’m not
sure.
I remember later though, it got dark out and I was standing

around and I was wondering where some of the people were. I
remember these girls walking by down the street, who I remem-
ber when I was younger, and I went and met up with them, and
they said they'd be stopping by. There was something that had to
do with all of us going out somewhere—a half dozen of us. I re-
member in my mind trying to arrange the rides so I'd get to ride
with the girls and without looking too conspicuous, just like “Al-
righhht, I’ll ride with these guys, you ride with them,” or some-
thing like that. I forget, but I remember a bit later on at the end I
was hanging these large textile flags, and there were two of them,
and they were both part of the same... The first one was like the
lower half of a face, but then I also had one on hand that was like
the upper half of face, and I put them together and I went “Oh
my gosh, oh my gosh, that’s right. I can't believe I forgot about
this.” And it formed this giant face and it was so graphic and de-
tailed and I couldn't believe it when I saw it. I kind of woke my-
1108
self up just because I wanted to remember this detail, who it was,

or what it was, but I’ve already forgotten it.
“GROWTH”
10/25/2014
I never explained my dreams from last night yet (10/24/2014).
The first one I don’t remember what happened but it ended in
a way where it was giving me a command or something. I don't
remember what. But then when I woke up, I jumped out of
bed,threw on my clothes, put cigarettes in my pocket, threw on
my hat, ready to start my day, and it was only 9 AM... and I had
only been asleep for 2 hours at that point. I was supposed to
wake up at 1. Never done this before where I thought it was time
to start my day before it was... so I ate licorice and candy corn
and fell back asleep. Then in the next dream I remember being at
my grandparents house in New Jersey. The lights were dim and
spooky. Something mystical going on that I can't recall. But I do
remember that something weird was going on with me, like I was
growing very tall, very large, and I felt like my growth was get-
ting out of control, and I was getting too big for the room, and I
think they were all trying to intervene.
1110
“MOVIE BUFF”
10/26/2014 | 1:02 PM
There was that one part where my father was listing off all those
movie names, like a buff. There was something Greek. I’m blank-
ing out. I remember MB was in it. It was realistic in the sense
that... it was kind of showing how sporadic our communications
were online, but in real life, we would say something but then
we would be standing in the distance staring at each other. Then
he would disappear, then I’d find him, and he’d say something
again. Wasn’t there something earlier about rollercoasters?
1111
“TOYS”
10/27/2014 | 8:19 PM
I remember Asia was there. We were sitting on the floor and she
was asking me a question like some weird space ship toy, asking
me if it still works... and I said "Wow, I never knew that these lit-
tle plastic strings could move so it would work freely. And after
moving freely it walks... like its legs move a certain way to ac-
commodate walking... not motorized.” Asia had moved back in
or something. Showed up randomly. And we kept getting in lit-
tle fights. I went into her room at one point to talk about some-
thing. She was talking about the music videos that her friends
were doing... and just different things like that. Yeah but we were
all sitting around the tv at the end when I was doing that thing
with the toys (?) sitting kind of near the dining room, the exit
where it meets the living room, like the one closer to the tv, not
the main kitchen exit, I was sitting there in that little doorway
with these giant starways-like toy machines... (my mom liked it?)
all these little vehicles. So I was trying to be a little helpful even
though I didn't know what she was going on about. I don't know
if she was trying to take one. A lot of other things I can't remem-
ber. All this stuff occurred in this huge house. Giant mess house.
Just remember lots of feuds. She was just so dirty, and so a lot
of the dream was reflecting how dirty she was, with symbols and
stuff.
1112
“HALF FACE”
10/28/2014 | 1:06 PM
I remember there was some big mansionlike estate, and there
was a party going on... a lot of people I used to know. But I
didn’t know that until later. I remember kept going outside and
running across the busy highway while the party was going on.
I was dressed in some sort of outfit... I can't remember exactly
what... on one hand I’m thinking it was a bizarre costume, but on
the other hand I think it was something really cool and attrac-
tive. I remember later it got dark out though, and I was stand-
ing there, and I was wondering where some of the people were...
and these girls walking by down the street who I had known
when I was younger, and I met up with them, and they said they
would be stopping by. I forget. There was something that had to
do with all of us going out somewhere. We, meaning a dozen or
half dozen of us. And I remember in my mind I was trying to
arrange the rides so that I can ride with the girls without it look-
ing too conspicuous. Like "Ohh, I'll just ride with these guys.
You ride with them." something like that. I remember near the
end of my dream... I remember hanging these large... textile flags,
and there were two of them. And they were both part of the
same... the first one was the lower half of a face, and the second
was the upper half... then I put them together and I went OH
MY GOSH, OH MY GOSH I CAN'T BELIEVE I FORGET
ABOUT THIS. It formed a bizarre face and was so graphic and
detailed. I couldn’t believe it when I saw it and I purposely woke
myself up to remind myself what this was... because I had forgot-
ten all about this. But when I woke up I had already forgotten
who/what it was. All I know is that the face-halves didn't seem
to match, but then when put together it was a bizarre union.
1113
“BREAKING IN”
10/29/2014 | 11:24 AM
Part early on in the dream where all those things were breaking
into the house. Those monster zombie things. Then there were
all those times I went for a drive with that guy to... the mall or
something? With different people. Then that time drove back to
my house to get something real quick... I came back and grabbed
my notebook and a few other things. And that one guy that was
acting weird... asking about some flesh live show? The things
with breaking into the house were super creepy. It just never
stopped. I went upstairs hoping I was safe from it. Went into
Asia’s room trying to hide out. When the dream began there
wasn't much outside... where the zombies were at... but they grew.
Over the course of the dream to like double-sides. There were
now both sides...
• Yeah, the current cell comprises 300... 2000 and some cells... sold
items... no, I don’t know what I'm talking about *** red. I don't
know what I'm talking about. Screw that.
1114
“CONQUISITOR”
10/30/2014 | 1:00 PM
That band who embarked on their U.S. Tour which was really
stupid... and long. A combination of Conquest and Inquisitor?
Conquisitor? Something like that... longer than that though. A
band from America that was now touring... me and my father... I
think we went for a walk somewhere weird.
Yeah there was a problem... one of the bios. Not conquisitor...

but another one I clicked after that talking about... "Extreme
avant-garde band, hailing from —— and usually when someone
—— trying to show off, but THIS guy is —— not to be cool but
just being himself " and I thought "Well, this site is a stupid site.”
1115
“GLOWKEY”
10/31/2014 | 8:28 PM
Glowkey. That weird demonic woman. It was only when she ap-
peared on the screen I started noticing some subtitles under her.
I wasn’t even reading everything and I thought “Wait, I switched
to something that required subtitles?” But yeah, Glowkey. She
was weird and slippery and we're sitting in a dark place, I tele-
ported there. At the very end of the dream I was telling someone
about Glowkey. He says “Wait, you saw Glowkey? I remember
someone like that. When she appeared she had her name pop-
ping up around her, like a TV introductions.” This is when I was
saying “You know what I want to do? I want to go on Jungle
Cruise. Why wouldn’t you want to make that happen? I just saw
Glowkey a couple minutes ago.” Meaning I was in a completely
different place only moments ago. That’s where he went “Wait,
what? You saw Glowkey?” This is when we were riding on that
ferry ride and we were having to sing along to the songs, and the
song said “tin foil” but I was looking at the aluminum when I
said it and I sang the word “aluminum”. I got angry, “Dammit, I
said aluminum foil. They need to give us real lyrics and not just
assume that we know what we’re looking at.” And so I asked to
redo it, even though I didn’t want to. I was doing it kind of in-
tentionally, because this was all being taped: a video of us all rid-
ing across the jungle in a boat singing songs about tin foil. And
so after a minute or so he was like “Nahhhh, it doesn’t matter,”
and I go “Yeah, I guess it doesn’t.”
Before this I was with Glowkey, like a demon woman who lived
in a tree. She had this awesome introduction, where it spelled out
her name. “G! L! O! W! K!...” There was no voice. It was just the
1116
letters popping up on a screen. One letter at a time. I thought it

was pretty cool. Cool name, too.
• Bags of shit sitting on a stool across the room, and I say “That’s
weird... stool on a stool!”
There was one point before the part that I described before
where I remember I was sitting at an outdoor table at this restau-
rant or something. And I was sitting there, it was dark out. I re-
member there were these girls at a different table. I don't know
if they were waiting on me. I think there was one who was just
talking, but then there was one that was also waiting on me or
something like that. They just came over and were saying stuff,
and they didn't seem to care very much for me at first, like they
didn't like me, as if they were a little put off by my presence. But I
said something and they warmed up pretty quickly after I made a
joke or said something. I find that funny as a theme in my dreams
that pretty much every time someone in my dreams meets me,
they look startled or put off, or... like they don't want to be talk-
ing to me, don't want to associate with me. And they have a bad
idea of who I could be. But then when I start talking or say some-
thing they take to me pretty quickly. And what's fascinating is
that this is my mind projecting these scenarios. Is this what I ex-
pect to happen? Is how I think it happens, you know, where peo-
ple don't like me from just getting a look at me, but then warm
up to me pretty quickly once they hear me speak or learn what
I’m all about?
“HIGH VELOCITY SPEEDS”
11/01/2014 | 6:42 PM
Who knows how long I’ve been going in and out of a dream.
I’ve been hallucinating like crazy, going at these high velocity
speeds where my body is paralyzed and feels like it is flying super
fast. I've been paralyzed three or four times now. In my dream
my stomach problem was growing so big in my side. The lump
protuberating from it was huge. Then at the end there was that
part where my dad and I were driving home, and we were driving
around a corner, when I told him “Take it slow. I don't want to
get in a wreck here.” And so then he sped up and took the outer
lane and I had to scold him, “Do not DO that.” And I felt the
speed in reality.
At one point my mom had made a sandwich for herself and

left it near the entranceway, and she's lounging around on the
couch eating other things and I asked “Why aren’t you eating
your sandwich?!”
“I’m not feeling good so I decided not to eat the sandwich.”
“What are you talking about? You got a plate full of stuff.”
I remember my dad laughing at the exchange.
1118
“EBOLA”
11/02/2014
(Recall obscured by washer noises and snoring. Return to this)
Finding that t-shirt of the Ebola virus that was released years be-
fore it was an issue in the U.S.A, where it’s making a joke about
how it spread or something, even though there was none what-
soever back then. This was by a band, and they had to release a
statement saying something like "We don't care..."
There was also that part where I was up in what was supposed to
be Asia's room and saying that it was like the cave of wonders...
and how that’s not a good thing. I was looking through pho-
tographs of her standing in front of hundreds of pieces of meat.
I think they were things she won in some sort of giveaway. And
she had also won some sort of giveaway for 4,000 dollars. And
I asked "So who is the first place winner? And were you guys in
second place, or what?"
1119
“REUNITED”
11/03/2014 | 10:29 AM
I don't really remember much about the dream last night. But
it was a very,very realistic romantic dream. The first i've had in
a while like that. I don't have many romantic dreams these days.
This one was VERY realistic. I remember a very long kiss... the
feeling is still with me... and I can still kind of see her... but I can't
really remember what we talked about and what went on. When
I say realistic I mean it wasn’t like a fantasy romance... It was like
real life... with flaws... ups and downs... but it was enjoyable... I
feel like I was actually separated from her for a little bit, and then
got to reunite with her later... which pretty much NEVER hap-
pens to me... since the past decade. ‘Cause I always get separated
from the one I care about and then spend the rest of the dream
trying to find them. This time I feel like I found them before the
dream ended. I feel like I can still remember the outline of their
lips... and the feeling of their breath and everything. It’s weird.
We had a lot of conversations. I just can't remember what they
are. There was also something about a dog at one point.it was a
huge dream. I didn’t wake up at all in the middle of the night... so
this was like several dreams together... so at one point there was a
dog. But I don’t think it was bad... and I don’t think I hated it...
and I believe it was a small dog... but it was something... some-
thing had to do with it. Something more than "Oh, I saw a dog."
1120
“CANDY STORE”
11/03/2014 | 5:39 PM
There was that part where I popped up. I was walking around
the street with my mother going in and out of candy shops.
Walking around in the street. Kept getting into fights... In this
weird town... Went into this candy store with helmets, costumes,
or just sci-fi stuff everywhere. I remember trying to go under
this thing near the dressing room. And I got stuck... and I came
out... and the rack almost caught my wig and pulled it off. And
there were these girls standing there when I came out... and I was
ducking under something... and what I was doing looked really
wrong. It was just really weird.
• I hurt ——. That hurt ——. Did I say something about a mon-
key? Was there a monkey? What am I talking about? Have I been
talking? Have I been talking this whole time? Yeah I remember
watching my mom across the room when she was checking out at the
counter. We kept getting in arguments about the candy. But I kept
—— (?) There was that girl who was in love with that guy...that
she didn’t even know if he was alive anymore... He was some guy
whO I saw a picture of... he was obscured by shadows... must have
been like 15 years ago. Last seen him.
1121
“OATMEAL SPITTING”
11/05/2014 | 3:21 AM
I'm not sure I recorded anything earlier tonight of my previous
dream. I woke up part way through it, after there was a scene...
me and my dad sitting in the back of the blue pick up truck...
talking... don’t know what was going on at that point... but then
I woke up, lying on my back, had a bunch of dry oatmeal I was
chewing... then I thought "Wait... this isn't good, this is not safe."
‘Cause I was lying on my back, so I started spitting everywhere...
spitting my oatmeal... but in reality I suppose there was no oat-
meal. So I was spitting all over my bed and floor... and then I sat
up and looked down and I thought "Wait... where's the oatmeal?"
I remember seeing it at first,but then I couldn’t find it when I
looked again. Then I just passed back out asleep. ‘Cause I really
was awake for that. It wasn’t a dream... so I fell back asleep... and
there was a weird dream... costumes all over the wall I guess... and
I was hiding beneath one of those clothing racks. The kinds of
stuff done during childhood... hiding within one of those circu-
lar racks... I did something down there and I freaked out some
girls... not intentionally... not like jumping out at them or any-
thing... they saw me and I think they were worried... especially
since I was not a child but the same age as I am now.
1122
“SHINY BLACK DEGREGOR
TENDON”
11/05/2014 | 4:27 PM
• (Singing) Listen to me, yeah, yeah.
Shiny Black Degregor Tendon... listing a list of people who have

known something... who have sought... What was I imagining? I
was imagining a woman who tried to show people something...
and there were only three people who knew it... or understood
something... Shiny/shining black... That was one of them... Then
Degregor... or Degrego... or Degreg... and then me... and I heard
her voice speaking these names... and I thought "That’s what
those were..." and I was included as well.
1123
“JITTERY”
11/06/2014 | 4:53 PM
At the very end of the dream I noticed a fly outside... it was
a camera fly... Now, they turn and move like normal flies... but
when they spot somebody, they turn around slowly and turn
when you turn... and I spotted one and it was probably sent
by my mother, I thought. I was sitting in my New Jersey front
yard talking to my father... kept saying something over and over
again... like "JITTERY... is what I am TOO... in this WORLD."
some really bizarre screwed up way of saying "I am too jittery
for this world," but I messed it up. And I was all shaky. I had
just fallen asleep on the floor. Not asleep... but I got hypnotized
in the corner. Kept getting stuck in like a mind control mode...
—— something happened from the other side of the room. And
it was... not something ...for...whatever they can...see... (starts
falling asleep)
• GODDAMMIT, MOM!
Okay... I had so many weird dreams. At one point I was asleep

on the floor and I remember waking up and standing up and
started spitting everywhere... all over the floor... and someone
made a comment about how...that’s just not something if I was
thinking clearly... That’s what I normally do, but I was around a
bunch of people sitting in New Jersey living room, and so I just
did that and I remember going "Ooops." But then when I was
walking away I slipped a little bit. Not on the spit... but just...
slid... and that’s when I said "JITTERY IS WHAT I AM TOO
IN THIS EARTH." I remember there was this special town...
special place... that had just opened up recently. And there was
something magical about it... and it had something to do with
1124
something I had done. I had just gotten a little ticket... or some

coupon from that place... but then I wanted my mom to dri-
ve me by it to see... I wanted to see what the place looked like
on the outside... so that was great. I remember we were out... I
remember she almost hit a child while we were driving... ‘cause
there were people walking all over the market street... and she
was going a bit too fast in the car, and the child was almost hit...
I remember while we were driving slow...‘cause we had to. And
there were people around us...walking very close to the car,and I
thought "Oh man... I should have worn my wig... if I knew there
would be so many people so close..." I thought "It doesn't mean I
have to wear all other parts of my disguise... I could have put on
my wig and that would have been enough to resemble who I was
supposed to resemble.” I just remember it being creepy that my
mom had to drive at nighttime. But it was a cool town. It started
with a huge off-ramp... a bit more curly than the one near the lo-
cal exxon. I wish I remembered earlier in the dream. Weird hyp-
notic stuff. Kept going in and out of trances.
I PICKED IT UP AND I SLAMMED IT RIGHT DOWN...

daa a da da da da da. Odd stuff I was listening to in my dream.
And in my dream I tried to imitate it, because I was under the
impression I had already woken up. And I was so happy with my
imitation...but this... that wasn't good sounding at all.
“DIRT LINE”
11/07/2014 | 2:58 PM
• Weird hallucination, just standing there talking to my mother
about how last time I saw Asia we were at the theater, and I re-
member because she stepped on my foot sideways because she was
standing too close to me and didn't realize she was doing it ‘cause
she was busy talking, and I was thinking in my mind "Get offfff
of me.”And something happened... put a line on my shoe when she
walked away. So I took my other foot and stepped on that shoe so it
smudged it over and got dirt in the crack and didn’t look as bad. I
don’t know what was going on in my head, but I was just standing
there visualizing myself and my mom talking about this.
1126
“STOP THE RIDE”
11/07/2014 | 5:36 PM
I woke up today yelling "SHUT UP, SHUT UP, SHUT UP!”
in my sleep. The part I woke up at was... I forget exactly who I
was yelling that to, but that's when I was running from... some-
thing. I ran from something with Asia, maybe? I ran through
the water world, through this water amusement park, and I leapt
over the fence. I started going up the flume, but then leapt over
the fence and landed on some kind of water ride, but I landed
ON TOP of someone, so I was now standing with two other
people in their seats, and they asked "WHAT THE HELL?" I
don’t think the ride was fully going. It started about five or six
seconds after I arrived, and then the people were like "WHAT
THE HELL, STOP THE RIDE!" yet we kept going, so I tried
to be smiley, so they don’t freak out or anything, since I realize
it was weird that a guy jumps over a wall and lands on the ride
with them. And I couldn’t get off since we were already moving
and off the ground so it wouldn’t be safe for me to hop off. But
I was standing on someone’s feet. Couldn’t even see whose they
were. I just knew they were under me. Then we went back up,
then stopped, then went back down again, but this time the girl
was not there at all, and the guy with me was fuming, so upset
and mumbling the whole time, talking to different people on the
ride. I remember at the very end we were stopped and looking
through windows. Looking through the windows where we saw
there were these other people, and I think one of the people in-
side of them was someone who might have been waiting for us
who we thought disappeared earlier. I don’t know. I remember
this guy... Michael? Was invisible and very small, and apparently
climbed all over this guy to my right while we were on the roller
1127
coaster ride, and he was like "He's on me..." and everyone else was
like "Wow!" But then I remember going "Why would he be on
total strangers... on a roller coaster ride?"
I was running from a big fucking creature. It was frightening,

whatever it was. I remember running through the area and tak-
ing a right, then going to the water world, knowing that even if it
comes running to the water world it will be slowed down. I wish
I remembered more about that. There was so much going on in
the first half of this dream that I can no longer remember. This
that I've described is just the very end.
“LITTLE GIRL”
11/09/2014 | 4:08 PM
I remember going on some weird journey around this large field.
It wasn’t a field, but there were lots of... There was a little girl,
who... I met her inside... late at night. I don’t think anyone else
was around at the time. She came to me, and I remember us
hanging out in one room for a little while. I think my mom came
in at one point and it was a little awkward, because me and a
little girl were just sitting there. By young I mean like eleven or
twelve. Obviously it wasn’t romantic. More so surreal. I remem-
ber us taking out into a cruf...frum... I don’t know. There were
hills. The ground was level; and we were walking trying to get
somewhere. We might have gotten separated, or she had to go
back somewhere, and it might have been just me out there. Or
maybe we didn’t accidentally get separated but I had to bring her
back, because I seem to remember bringing something back.
I don’t remember what we talked about or what happened, but

it had a very surreal feel to it, like she was the younger version
of someone who I knew as an adult and that I was getting to in-
teract with her before some influential event or tragedy occurred
and changed her.
I'm not sure I explained that last dream I had, since I believe I
was pretty messed up. Going in and out of sleep as I was speak-
ing about it, then my recorder died. Earlier on, a few hours ago, I
was going in and out of sleep... I was so exhausted when I hit the
pillow, seven times I woke up and went back to sleep, in and out
of sleep. But what was scary was that my body was paralyzed, so
my consciousness was going between dream and reality over and
over again. But after the first or second time it happened, a lot
1129
of these transitions began taking place in ways where the dream

and reality were transpiring with similar settings. For instance,
in my dream I was having issues with my side, and I had lumps
coming out of my side, my lower abdomen, and I thought "Oh
no... this is bad." Then I would feel paralyzed, trying to touch it,
then it would feel fine. Then I would start falling back asleep,
touch it, it was lumpy and messed up, then touch a few minutes
later, it was fine. Then there was that part where my mother had
a plate of something. There was a piece of pizza or something
that was being thrown away or wasted, and I said "Are you eat-
ing this? Why aren't you eating this?" "Oh, I can't eat it because
I'm full. I’m not supposed to eat anything junky..." or "I don’t feel
good," and I asked "Then what are you eating right now?" and
she had a big plate of snacks in front of her. “Then what's that?"
"Oh, I can eat this if I want to." "What? It doesn't make sense that
you can eat that and not this." She was rationalizing it in a sense-
less way, and my father was sitting on the couch shaking his head
like "Whaaat?" There was also a scene of my father and I driving
around in the mountains somewhere.
“BARON 2000”
11/10/2014 | 3:41 AM
There was this guy, The Baron 2000. It was like this cold, creepy
basement room. Rows of refrigerators. Dark. I had to keep go-
ing... fighting this band of guys. This was after... a lot of stuff.
There was a hayride or something like it. A similar sort of cart.
Not like a kiddy hayride. Just a cart filled with hay.
Pretty sure Tyler was in it, and he asked if he could be a part of

(?). I remember showing up at a church event. It was not a nor-
mal kind of thing. It was all very creepy town-like. It was also
post-apocalyptic. I don’t know. It felt like that resident evil game
I played as a teenager (the fourth one).
And from what I can tell, that same young girl who I dreamed
of yesterday was there again today. Same girl, from what I know.
Not sure what was going on, but she was with me at one point.
This dream was very, very strange.
1131
“THE BACKSEAT”
11/11/2014 | 5:13 AM
I never mentioned it before, but that last dream I had... about
8 or 9 hours ago... in the afternoon... I had another dream that
seemed to involve that very same girl who has been in my dreams
the past two days. She seems to be aging... at first she was like
11... then 13... now she's... 16? I don’t even know what happened
to this. I didn’t even start to recall it until an hour after I was
awake... I recall her and I sitting in the backseat of a car. Some-
thing very awkward about it. There was another part where she
walked in on me while I was in a room... and perhaps I was get-
ting dressed... It just seems like everytime she has seen me in the
past couple days she just walks in on me in an awkward posi-
tion and ends up just staying... or doesn't seem to notice. I don’t
know... Seems to be a theme going on.
1132
“KNOCKING”
11/11/2014 | 4:16 PM
At the end of that dream I went back and there was all that stuff
about a pen/pin that had a buffalo on it, and Poppop’s pool cue
that he was so nervous about banging into the wall. He kept go-
ing "Please don’t hit it... OOooh... ooooh." He would say that
everytime something hit it. It was so hard to keep it straight. I
don’t know why but it flopped all over the place while we were
holding it. Difficult and out of control. For some reason he was
entrusting it to us, and beyond the shelves I had some art box-
es, maybe an 8-track or something, and I thought "Aw man, I
need to get these, I thought we were going to be back. Are we
not coming back?" So I realized I needed to get them now. What
happened before all this stuff ? Because this was the end. We were
now in a house that was pretty much empty, because we were
moving. Not this house. Not Charldon. Don’t know the house.
That was weird. I was with Kenny. We were out in public. It

was so bizarre. I remember he came up and hugged me, and as
he was hugging me, it was really tight, and I made a joke as it
was happening, like something about pressure points, "If I only
knew something about the different pressure points of the body
I could totally make you collapse right now," or something to
that effect. I forget, but it was funny. I remember us going in-
side, and there was a bag of candy he had with him. I forget what
brand. Because he was diabetic. I remember him sitting over by
my television in my bedroom for a while. We were waiting to go
do something. I remember putting on my Inquisition shirt. He
was thinking of something but wasn’t really doing anything. Just
coming up with ideas. What was that... all these girls were over,
1133
about 22-ish and there was something with the refrigerator. They
were all fighting over these popsicles, and they were just sitting
around on the kitchen floor.
The dream started out as I was with a girl, so I don’t know what
happened. I remember being chummy with her on the floor by
the kitchen table. Just leaning against her, leaning my head on
her. I don’t remember exactly what we were doing. We were do-
ing something before this point. Was there something with the
mailman? Something where I went traveling down the street...
and... no... what was that thing with the black plastic bag? Some-
thing I was desperately trying to get rid of. I tried to throw it in
the other bag, but then threw it in this one, and we’ll take it out
in the trash the next morning. But it didn’t fit, or he didn’t get to
take it in time, so I had to go across the street and sneak it into
the neighbor’s trash or something weird like that. But there were
so many cars driving by.
Then, at the very end of the dream, I remember me and my father

walking down this trail and he said "Okay, let’s go this way.” And
so we were walking back, and I asked "Wait, have you already
done this?" and he said "No, I just wanted to do this." Then we
went up this higher path that spiraled around to the lower path
we went to originally, and he asked eventually "Would you mind
if we stopped for a minute? I’m out of breath..." and I said "Re-
ally? ‘Cause I’m not. I feel like there’s absolutely nothing wrong
here. That's weird to hear you saying that when I'm not." Yeah
and I remember when Kenny came... I remember I was just sit-
ting there in the living room and my mother... or someone.
That girl was a little strange. I remember, because there were two
girls. There was a girl I was hanging out with first... but then that
other girl showed up. And I thought "Ah!" It was weird because
all the other girls were... I wouldn’t say they were interested in
me... but they were keeping their eye on me, and when this girl
showed up, I think they felt a little off that I was showing in-
terest in her... they were like "What's with him and her?" Like
they didn't expect us to pair together. I remember that's when
everyone was going to eat popsicles from the freezer... So this girl
grabbed one... and I thought I might as well try one too... but
I got there last... and one of the good ones was left... old ones
that had been slightly eaten and then put back into the wrapper...
they weren’t normal popsicles... they were kind of like squeeze
tube ones. The ones that are liquid when you get them... some-
thing like that. I think some of them were leaky... so they didn’t
have all their content. So I’m looking through them...crouch-
ing on the floor. I just wanted to be like everyone else who had
a popsicle... but I couldn’t find any... so while I was looking...
ducking into the freezer...that’s when the doorbell rang... and I
heard someone say "Someone's at the door," and I commented
"Eh it's gonna be the mailman." And I was still looking through
the popsicles... then another minute passed... and I remember
they eventually walked away after another doorbell... then my
mother comes down stairs saying:
"Hey, I'm pretty sure that was Will."
"What do you mean that was Will?"
“I'm pretty sure that was Will."
She wasn't able to see who was at the door while they were actu-
ally at the door, due to the blindspot when staring through the
curtains... and so she was only able to make out their identity as
they were walking back to their car... (this is realistically how it
is in reality) so that’s why she was coming down the stairs telling
me this now...
And so I jumped up and ran out the door and saw who else but
Kenny! Apparently my mother got my former associates mixed
up in her mind, which is quite odd.
And then I thought "What do I possibly say after six years of not
seeing him? Do I bring up his music?"
That girl was a little bit strange. There were two girls. One I was
hanging out with at first but then that other one showed up. And
when this girl showed up, I think they felt a little bit weird that
I was all over her, like “What’s up with those two?” They simply
didn't expect that. And I remember that's when everyone was go-
ing to eat some popsicles from the freezer. And this girl grabbed
one so I went to grab one too. I got there last and none of the
new ones were left. All that remained was the old ones that had
already been opened, eaten and put back into the wrapper. Not
normal popsicles, but the squeeze tubes that start off as a liq-
uid and you freeze yourself. Some of them were leaky, so they
didn’t haven’t all their content. So I’m looking through them, I
just wanted to be like everyone else who had a popsicle, but I
couldn't find any. And while I was looking, I was just ducking in
the freezer. That’s when the doorbell rang. And I heard someone
announce that someone was at the door. I said “Yeah, it's gonna
be the mailman,” and so then another minute pass and some-
one is still at the door and I’m still looking through the popsi-
cles. Finally the person started walking away and that's when my
mom was like “Hey, I'm pretty sure that was Will.” I was upset
she didn’t tell me sooner, but she wasn’t able to see them when
they were close to the door and had to wait until they stepped
away. That’s when I went running and it was Kenny and she had
gotten them mixed up.
“THE...”
11/12/2014 | 2:54 AM
1137
“WEAPON PLANT”
11/13/2014 | 5:13 AM
That whole thing with me going to pretend to plant that weapon
on that guy. All those scenes with that guy in the car shooting
the person next to him, then setting up the person nearby... going
"Sorry, man," then that guy from TV. There was that guy who
confronted him... "I want you to buy all this stuff for... this." not
all this angsty crap, but just to figure out what your body type
is... want you to get some fun stuff. I'll pay for that and see what
you do with that. And he had a bunch of cases with pictures with
swords on them, "Then I'll see what you do with that and this,”
he was going to give him an investment. That old guy kept killing
people. I didn’t know how many times ——,... because even after
he would suicide himself... he would have it look like he did it...
and then the kid was just stuck in the car... horrible.
There's a lot of stuff that went on in the store... I remember walk-

ing around in front of the movie theater area... trying to go shop-
ping... my mother said I can go anywhere. And I thought "Al-
right, that sounds so great!" but now that I had the opportuni-
ty to go anywhere I didn’t know of any place I wanted to go...
normally would go... and how that just doesn't really make sense
anymore. Then I remember staring at a clothing shop... and it
was just very confusing. I didn’t know what I wanted... I wasn’t
even clothes shopping. Just walking by mindlessly picking stuff
up. Very weird... people were saying "What are you doing? This
is not how you do it." I remember being at Walmart... and that
area...
That guy was just like "I want YOU to let me buy you twenty
thousand dollars worth of (?).” It was a high figure... something
1138
silly like that... and then they'll buy you all these things since
you never get to buy yourself certain kinds of things... and not
Angsty things... to figure out your body type or figure out who
you are or things you are going ONLY because everything else
around you is miserable... just get something FUN in and of it-
self without misery attached. But it was a trick in a way... sort of...
he was testing him... but it was obvious what it was. He wasn’t
hiding it... ‘cause it was like a weird reality show scenario... like
contestants...
“DEPRESSION”
11/14/2014 | 4:32 AM
At the end I was giving that girl a tour of my room. I was telling
her about the beds. I never got to explain to her the thing I had
about the bed as a teenager. But I think we were all sitting on
Asia's bed or something watching a movie, and it was not com-
fortable. We were supposed to go to the mountains, but what
happened... we were supposed to take off on these birds... crows?
But something bizarre happened with these birds. It was like in
the middle of the night, and we were "Okay, we need to go,
NOW!” So we went and grabbed a bunch of our birds and went
and tried to go take them into a certain area and try to fly off. I
didn’t have anything I needed. I was hungry. There were a bunch
of things. I forget what they were. There was also that part where
I came looking for water, and Jeiezza gave me a big thing of wa-
ter. I don't remember the order. I went over to where she was
standing. A team of people who were going somewhere. And she
was one of the main ones. I thought that was slightly weird...?
Yeah, she asked "Hey, you want me to fill it for you?" and I said
"Nah, it’s okay, I've got this one right here,” so I went back to
the car, and I remember she was like pouring it while I was hold-
ing it down. I remember making observations around the car
while she was doing this, ‘cause as she was pouring I was looking
around. The word ‘Depression’ or something similar was written
on the car, like it was the model of the car, and I thought "That's...
weird,” while she was pouring the water, which was strange. And
then I remember thinking in my mind "How come a band called
Depression, one didn't pop up until like the 80’s even though
music was around for as long as it was?" I’m not even sure what
I’m referring to, since I've never heard of a band called Depres-
1140
sion, so I'll have to check if I’m right. What was the deal with
those birds? We tried to go flying, and I didn’t have all my stuff,
and I was getting something in my hair, and I was tired, and
I needed several things, like water... or... I don’t know... I have
not described this well at all. Anyway? Then there was this girl
that I was talking to later on, and I was trying to find some-
thing in my drawer and telling her stories about something. At
first I was telling stories "That's not as bad as my bed, and even
that is not as bad as my old bed.” I was just comparing beds and
telling her about something that was probably very similar. “And
then I have this shirt,” or "I just remember this one time I was
wearing this shirt, and on the front it has a big orange ‘BUY IT
NOW’ and on the back is a big orange/red skeleton, and it be-
came iconic in my life because of something something." And
talking about how different shirts became iconic due to the time
periods in which I wore them, or to certain events, and I said "I'll
show you!" and I jumped up and went to my drawer. This room
looked most like a Londonberry bedroom, but was still very dif-
ferent. But I was showing her through my drawers and kept pick-
ing up the wrong thing, and EVERYTHING was a mess, and I
saw my purple hat and went "Oooh. I love this hat." There was
just weird stuff. Pants, underwear, gauze wraps. Not very much
stuff in there. Very odd looking for a clothing drawer, and I felt
rather self-conscious about it.
So I don’t know what became of that, but I woke up around that

time. But before that, there was a movie on, and I forget what it
was, but we were just sitting up on the bed talking. It was like me,
Asia and two of Asia’s friends, and I just remember people hug-
ging on the bed while lying down and that made me feel awk-
ward. And something was really uncomfortable on the bed struc-
ture, really wrong with it, and I kept saying "That's not as bad as
my bed, mine feels like wood, and you lie on it and it (?). But
then again that's not as bad as the one I had when I was a teenag-
er.” I never got to explain why, but I was thinking in my mind
"That's because I had girls over, and that’s why it was especial-
ly bad," ‘cause it wasn't actually worse than the one I had now,
but it was worse BECAUSE I had girls over and it would always
fall, cave in and sink at random times... comfortable at times, but
then it would just sink at random times. I never got to share all
of that information though ‘cause I got distracted by the shirts.
I don’t know what point I was trying to make about the shirts,
making my way through the shirts, and I was looking for one,
and I thought I found the one I wanted ‘cause I saw orange and
black, and picked it up thinking "Oh... is this it?" But it wasn't...
it was a long-sleeve shirt... a band shirt of sorts... the wrong one.
What was with those birds? What was that? I remember us try-
ing to fly across the ocean and I was like "Nope... can’t do it.”
I tried to sail out. I don’t remember if we were riding out on
the water, and I said "Can’t do this... can’t do this... my bird’s
tired,” or I was tired. I can’t remember this part well... dammit.
We couldn’t do it because I wasn’t prepared. That's why we had
to stop our trip. We were all supposed to be prepared to leave for
this mission at any time. It was like the middle of the night... and
it was something about salt... like "I don't have salt in my eyes,'' or
in my hair... I don’t know. Maybe not...but weird reasons for why
I wasn't ready to depart.
“HERCUGEUM FRUSTRATION
HADES QUICK OF HELL”
11/14/2014 | 2:36 PM
"Hercugeum Frustration Hades Quick Of Hell" (Huh? Come
back and make sure I am hearing that correctly) it was on the list
of these musicians... and there was one band who I knew who
was... what were they called... I saw them and thought there was
something about that band... thing is, I had been listening to
them a while back... during some huge event in my life... and the
fact that I had been listening to music at that time was a big deal
in a way... I’m not sure what was up with all of this. I feel like in
a way I was just going around walking in dark places the whole
time. Walking around talking to different creepy musicians. But
that’s not it. What was it. This was such a dark creepy dream...
so much more than that. I was trying to piece together this puz-
zle with some people. Like a mental puzzle. Like trying to figure
something out. There was one guy who we saw who was wearing
face paint, and no one knew who he was,so we set out to track
him own. I don’t know if that makes any sense, and I don’t know
if this has anything to do with my dream. I have a really bad sore
throat for some reason (real life reference).
Lucifuge? Something I called on a list of people. Somebody did

something violent, something deadly, and I found all these vio-
lent,vile names everywhere Like all around the world... There was
something in the dream where someone was trying to use some-
thing against me to discredit my point of view on it... so it was
showing something I accepted/believed years earlier that was to-
tally bullshit, saying "But he once was a part of this!"
1143
• Lice manual lovers long ago... Long ago manual lovers... some-
thing something something...
“CEILING”
11/15/2014 | 1:41 AM
I don’t know if I mentioned it when speaking of the last dream...
but in the last dream there was some weird room where there
were some weird flying things. Could have been birds. I don’t
know. Flying up near the ceiling. It was a dark room, the walls
were brown... tan color. Looked kind of ancient. Ancient colors.
Kind of like a temple. Some hidden temple sort of room. I think
it was all crackly. There were just these things flying up near the
ceiling.ceiling was not terribly high. Not that much taller than
the ceiling in...say...my living room. Maybe the height of a de-
partment store ceiling. But yeah I remember trying to do some-
thing unusual and trying to go up against the ceiling, doing what
they were oding. Flying around with them, flying after them. I
just remember flapping around. Climbing up towards the top of
the room, then just... trying to fly.
1145
“ISN’T LIFE STRANGE”
11/15/2014 | 3:30 PM
Patrick tried to stab me in the heart with a damn syringe. I knew
the dream was souring just because we were having a good time
with one other and singing a funny song. I remember singing
the line "Isn't life stra-a-a-a-a-a-nge?" (The Moody Blues) just be-
cause we were having a good time, and then I asked if he knew
what that was, and he said no. And as soon as I sang that I
thought that sounded exactly ——, and then I saw him looking
down and the blanket that was nearby was raised a little bit. I
could not see what he was doing, but it was obvious that he was
doing something with his hands under the blanket. Then I stood
up and exclaimed "Shit! What was that noise outside just now?"
And I took off running. I was able to run across the pool, since it
was closed for the winter, and so it was covered with hard top. I
remember thinking that I was going to kick it open. Shortly after
getting to the other side of the pool I looked back to see where
Patrick had gone, and he was standing right there. Well, first I
think he went running past me. Then he came at me again. Then
he stabbed me in the chest and I awoke.
(illegible line) There was so much stuff in this dream that was
—— to me, ‘cause it was like... he was talking about different poi-
sons to take to make you die... and one of them caused something
like my throat condition... very similar... and it freaked me out
that the symptoms could be mimicked... even if only slightly and
generically... I forget what we were doing for the first while.
I was in New Jersey at one point. There was some kind of festival,
too. I was walking around at a night time festival. I also remem-
ber going to a restaurant by myself after getting separated from
1146
my parents. That was a while earlier, though. It was a long dream.

I was sitting there with Patrick, and we were goofing around. I
was singing falsetto and and we were cracking up at hand pup-
pets, or shadow puppets, and I asked "Why is this one in falset-
to?" (Referring to the voice that we attributed to one of the
puppets) Early on I recall having seen him once, when he got
dropped off on the side of the room. There was someone after me
otherwise. I was running through the woods. Man, this dream
was huge. I vaguely remember some conspiracy going on. All
these different side stories. There was a cool girl, too. Wait, this
was that one where something perverted was going on, like they
were trying to steal my underwear or something like that. Any-
way, yeah I remember running through the woods... I was walk-
ing down the street and something creepy was going on, so I took
off running into the woods worried that something was going to
happen. Then later on I was walking down the road and met up
with Patrick. Just remember walking down a long, desolate road
with him in the middle of the night. I remember seeing some
corpse-like face.
“WIND GOD, SAND GOD”
11/16/2014
I was in the Londonberry house. We're all in the basement, get-
ting ready for this challenge. Forget what it was... but there was
something about the Wind God, or The Sand God. There was a
woman. Was her name Tina? I found out later on the dream that
I was partnering up with her and I thought "You got to be fuck-
ing kidding me. She is the most insane person when it comes to
this stuff, and that’s going to get me killed. This is not good.” I
got kicked out of the game for something that I did. I forget ex-
actly what it was, but my parents were down there, and I got in a
huge fight with my mother right in front of everyone, and every-
one else took her side and got upset. It was very upsetting. Then
I remember sitting there scowling at people. They were all get-
ting very uncomfortable while sitting around thinking "What is
he doing!? What is he doing!?" because I went through a night
and day transformation. I just remember thinking these things
in my head, like "This is what happens when you don't..." I forget
what, exactly. I remember walking upstairs right at the end just
to get Ensure out of the fridge, and I was also going to go into the
workroom to listen to some music on my 8-track for a few min-
utes, which I was going to do first, but then decided I wanted an
Ensure. I hadn’t slept enough (in my dream) and was feeling ex-
hausted.
There was also a part where I was climbing all these boxes. What
was that? And my boss. What was that room with my boss where
he showed up at the door...and we were talking... and I was with
those guys. And that room with three toilets. "Aw hey guys, how
many toilets does this one have?" "Like... three." "YES!" and then
1148
they started mocking the name of a restaurant downstairs. And

I said "That can be anything. I'm going to go start a restaurant
called ‘The Chinese Woman’ right now," and the guy just gives
me a dead-eyed stare. After a long, dead, tense glaring silence he
goes "You're not Chinese," and I responded indignantly saying
"AND I'M NOT A WOMAN!” since he didn’t mention that
one. I was trying to prove a point. I forget what it was. It was stu-
pid, but people were getting increasingly upset/bothered by me
by the end.
I was doing weird rituals on the floor with sand... I remember

thinking in my mind, never saying it outloud, but I was really
pissed off at them. I've got my sand god, you've got your air god,”
which is kind of weird, given that it is kind of backwards in terms
of my favorite elements. I remember thinking "I'm going to go
upstairs and put on my Mercyful Fate shirt and come back down
and show them who I really am or how it really is...” I just re-
member scowling at them. There was a blonde girl there... all
lined up against the wall where my computer was... it started
there and ended where my tv was... in the Londonberry base-
ment. Along that one wall along the opposite of the sliding door.
So my parents and some people were sitting on the couch...
I remember feuding with Asia, as well, though I forget what that

was about. I just remember thinking very little of her. But what
did I do that had everyone in an outrage? We were playing this
"game", as we called it, but it was very bizarre, and I didn’t want
to play it. I was thinking "Oh...goddamn,” because I found out
that psycho lady was playing and she was crazy at the game. I
thought "THAT's who I’m going up against? Everyone else is
going up against easy players and now I’m going to have to be
the one that gets hurt playing this,” but hell, what did I do that
offended everyone? My mother just went off on me, saying these
things, and I was like "You can stop DOING THIS in front of
everyone," but she kept doing it and doing it and everyone was
watching, and Asia was doing it too.
There was also something about cereal. This dream was fucking
long. I remember at one point I was saying something about
"Yeah, we still have this cereal, and this kind too... yeah and we
have this kind and that kind too,” and they asked "Can you bring
us some of those?" and I think I turned and started to go get
it but then turned around, "Wait... I'm not here to bring every-
one bowls of cereal," then I think there was something that hap-
pened in the mall parking lot. Is this whole dream because I ate
a peanut butter snickers in the middle of the night? No, it was
the TARGET parking lot... NO it was CHURCH. I thought I
was going into church with my father. We were standing outside
in the back of the church, when this guy comes up to us solic-
iting something. Then there was that guy that my father knew
from work, and something was wrong with him. He had like a
robot thing inserted into his head, and it went off, but he still
had the outer shell, and the dials on the outside of his chest, or
face, but no longer had anything on the inside because he didn’t
work anymore, and he had these big arrows outside of him show-
ing that something didn’t work right. Like a dash display in a
car. There was a newspaper column about him ‘cause he got so
messed up from surgery... of being a robot... it didn’t work. His
exterior now made no sense, and his interior wasn’t working. But
then we went outside after that and there was a guy who came up
to us soliciting... it was in the back of the church, we went there
‘cause we didn’t want to meet anybody. And he just approach-
es us slowly and with these very generic lines... "Heeeeyy... it's a
very something something today isn't it?" obviously heading into
some pitch or proselytization.
The earliest thing I can remember was sitting there with some
guy. And I was walking down the stairs of Londonberry too with
all those guys who weren’t fat... but chubby, chunky and bulky...
all those guys just thrashing around... and I just remember they
were trying to play games... but they were acting stupid... and I
thought I would get hurt... and they kept getting other people
involved... they would go thrash into someone else and then he
would get involved...so forming just a chain of people thrash-
ing into each other. They were all wearing tank tops...muscle
shirts...and I thought JEEZ. So I went around the bar... over to
where the computer was and I remember a skinny guy was over
there. I was sort of hiding behind him. He was supposed to be
on our team too. And we said hey to each other. Then I saw that
he joined with four or so other guys who used to be a part of our
team but I hadn’t seen in so long now... formed a little group...
but none of us wanted to be thrashed around so we stayed to-
gether, timid of being thrashed... looked a little nervous... We
didn’t want to be a part of the other guys' games. I remember
I was really close to this guy with dirty blonde hair... who was
right in front of me and to the left. And I said "I haven't seen you
since the beginning," and he said something really quick... some-
thing something something. Forget but he didn’t look too happy.
I'll never forget when I felt that everyone was against me. Real-
ly wish I remembered what I did to upset everyone. I definitely
didn’t want to play the game, but I still WAS, so who knows. We
never actually even started playing the game, from what I recall.
Maybe it was because I got into a disagreement with my moth-
er. Maybe everyone was pissed off because of that alone. I just
remember the wall opposite the sliding glass door wall... just a
bunch of girls...
And then all the guys were just like standing around the bar with
their drinks or just standing with a computer or a couch. Or
yeah, they're all on the couches and stuff. And my mom and dad
were just on the left couch. Not the couch that was near the com-
puter but the couch that was near a fireplace and closer to my
mom's computer even though it's still not close to that. I just ten-
ement SP and other people on that wall, just scowling at me. De-
risive looks. So I scowled at them, because when I saw that they
were all acting that way to me I just got very, very demonic-like,
and I mean, in my head, I was still thinking ‘I'm gonna look de-
monic in front of them’, so it wasn't like I was actually turning
into a demon or anything. I was just a guy. But I just remember
their expressions. They were just shocked by what I was doing.
Because I was getting very aggressive. And then I when I finally
went to leave, yeah, then I just stood up and I'm like...
But in the beginning of the dream I was trying to find a fall

asleep or something. And I just kept getting interrupted, and I
had a big blowout with my sister at the beginning of a dream.
And I would not talk to her. She was trying to get advice on
something she was asking for. I remember Yeah, she was asking
for help. This was around the cereal part near the beginning of
the dream. The Bomberman part where I was was sitting with
Kenny in a computer room. And there were PC games all over
the shelves. It was really weird. It felt like Pine Hill from the 90s.
And I remember looking through the games, wait, it wasn’t Ken-
ny, it was Rubid. We were looking to the games. Anyway, yeah,
there was these like Bomberman games on the shelf. And he had
like all of them. And I said “The best ones are the ones that came
after this year, because they all stay relatively uniform after com-
ing onto this console. But all these ones just are weird, because
they... they're so different in every single one. They didn't get the
uniformity until later.” I don’t know if it was actually Bomber-
man but that’s what this series was clearly based off of. I don't
remember what we're talking about in there. That was right be-
fore the part where I went back into the room and there was the
toilets and I was like, “Alright! There's three toilets in the bath-
room!” I don't know why I was so happy about that. I just re-
member we're all sitting there. Yeah, I'm leaning against a wall
and we’re in just some kind of dormitory somewhere. I don't
know where, I don't know why. And it's probably supposed to
be where my room was in Londonberry. I mean, it was about
the same dimensions. Well, no, not really. I don't know. But I re-
member thinking “Wait, how many bathrooms are there?” And I
stood up and I jumped up and ran around. I think they answered
“Three” right as I was looking, or I said “Really?” but I had to
check for myself. I also remember running into the bathroom at
a later time and eating some candy before my dad... some junk
food. There was this one part where we're supposed to be leav-
ing, and I ran in the bathroom and started eating a hunch of junk
food. Like sweet things, like the these bars of stuff. I was real-
ly hungry and I didn't get to eat enough at something else. And
so this is like, right before me and my dad were leaving to go to
that church h store place where I thought we were still at church.
I was just stuffing my face with like these bars. I just remember
there was something big and I ripped off a piece of it. There was
like three piece... It was like, peel-able. I peeled ff something that
was like one-third of the entire thing. And I just ate it. And it was
like something I shouldn't be eating, just because it was so sweet.
And I don't know why I shouldn’t have been eating it. But I just
grabbed some of that stuff. And that was before I met my father
outside on the deck. He called me to go on the deck and I ran
into the bathroom and starting candy. And then when I walked
out into the deck, he was still walking out. And so it's not like
he was out there waiting for me or anything. But then I remem-
ber thinking I forgot something, like “Oh, man, I should have
brought my music out here.” I remember thinking I should have

bought something else out there. I forget what.
I don't know, when when was the part where we went to church?
This might have been it. Where we're staying outside and it was
church. And I said “I don’t want to be out here.” And he said,
“It’s okay, no one's around this side. Let’s just go quietly around
here.” And then he says “Ooh, wait, no, here, comes someone,”
and look over and some guys walk around this church. And so
I looked the other way. And then he starts soliciting. And then
we leave. And I thought we're going back to the other end of the
church. But now, but no, we got in the car, we drove. And then
we got out walking through that entryway of a Walmart-like
store. It was like the old Super G entry, where it's like not con-
nected to the rest of the store and there are coin-operated ma-
chines there. We went walking through something like that. And
I'm like, “Wait, what's this? This isn't church. I thought we're in
church.” But I remember when we showed up in that parking lot
of the store. There was a car park not too far to the right of us,
just a little bit ahead. And there were these two young women. I
don't remember anything about it. I just remember they looked
at me. And I don't think anything else happened. I looked at
them. They looked at me.
And after I went, after I got up when everyone was really upset
with me, I just stood up to get away and I saw that my door was
a little jar in the workroom, and I thought I'm just gonna go in
there and listen to some music on my 8-track in that old utility
room we had in Londonberry. But then I'm like, “Wait, is there
an Ensure upstairs? I’d like an Ensure right now.” So I ran up-
stairs and was going to get one from the fridge. That's when I
turn around and see my father walking upstairs. Then my moth-
er. And I’m like, “What the hell? Why are you guys following me
up here? Why are you following me up here?!” And they tried to

play it off like they were just coming up anyway. I forget what was
going on. We got a big fight. There was two fights in this dream.
There was one that involved Asia earlier on and then ended with
the cereal thing. And then there was this one that was had to do
with this weird game with me in the middle of the floor acting
really angry. Pulling up sand in my hand.
“WHOA”
11/17/2014 | 3:15 PM
Okay, I never recorded when waking up from my last nap time.
Was looking for my father and walked down the hallway in the
middle of the night, opened the door and found my father in
bed with the fat guy from Cheers. Not doing anything weird, just
sleeping in the same bed. I went "WHOA!” and I ran out to get
my camera, but by the time I returned a few minutes later he had
already put his shoes on and he was now walking outside ready
to do something else.
The majority of the dream, or the early part, revolved around this
girl, and I can no longer recall what happened, but it was a very
realistic relationship we had. I really wish I could remember what
was up with that.
1156
“KEEP IT DOWN”
11/18/2014 | 4:02 PM
So that was one of the longest, weirdest dreams. Only remember
bits and pieces. At the end I was reading the story about a guy
who was just about healed...recovering from something... and
they were saying "After all that time being unable to eat you're
finally able to keep food down!" so they gave him some cereal
looking thing, and he ate it... but because of the milk they used...
There was something that converted to something else within his
body within seconds after being that way and he died instantly
due to a reaction to what was in that milk... unrelated to his rea-
sons for not being able to eat... completely random bad reaction.
That was weird... it was like the news I was hearing... I was just
sitting there being told about this. And I spent a lot of time at my
grandparents house in dream.
• Yeah, I was really screwed up... acted like four-four... in the

house... platitude... What am I talking about? That didn't even
make sense. I’m playing word association over here. I need to wake
up.
I remember sitting on the couch with my grandparents. They

were upset... because...uh...
1157
“JUMPING INTO DREAMS”
11/22/2014 | 4:25 PM
• Sometimes I just get these visions. Like, just now I got a vision of
the interior of a tobacco plant, or something along those lines. It just
left me with an overwhelming sadness. The thought is... I see it...
and my instinct is "I can’t have anything to do with that. Can’t have
anything to do with something something," and I’m not really sure
what I’m referring to, because I’m not exactly sure what I am look-
ing at in the first place... but I’m just getting these visions of places.
Dreams about "jumping in dreams that I should have never

jumped into", "jumping into dreams I shouldn’t have jumped into
yet,” or "jumped into dreams before I was supposed to jump into
them.” I don’t know. They were really... Well, some were dreams
that I was going to have some day that I went into too early. Then
dreams I was going to have some other day, and didn't have the
proper equipment for yet and screwed up my brain, and then the
other was stuff that I was not supposed to be sharing.
1158
“MAIL PIT”
11/23/2014 | 2:00 PM
I was approached by a group of policemen. They weren’t simply
policeman. It was a crowd of twenty or more authorities. They
approached me as I was in that mailpit, or whatever you call it. I
was in a pit filled with letters, envelopes, paper... mail. I had just
jumped in there, and I asked "What’s the problem officers?" and
they said "You fit the description of something something," and
apparently someone made the joke "Yeah, this is the kind of guy
who would try to do something completely irrelevant/pointless
in an attempt to throw everyone off... like jumping into a mail-
pit. Oh but I don’t imagine he would actually do that... not liter-
ally... I'm just saying we will want to watch out for someone do-
ing stuff like that that don't seem quite necessary as a way of di-
verting our attention,” and the next thing that happened is they
received a call saying "Some guy just jumped into the mail pit.”
(quite ironic!) I was planning on hiding there for some reason.
Forget why. I had just gotten into a fight with another one of
the guys there about something. Not sure what it was about. But
jeez... So now I was being accused of being the murderer... or
something. Some kind of big villain deal, and I’m not sure what
it was. I thought "DAMMIT"... I’m not sure if it was me or not...
I didn’t do anything bad in my dream, but I think it was im-
plied I had done some bad things previously... right there in the
last scene... Then there was another part in the dream with gi-
ant mechs... and I was in there wanting to get in and go around...
but I wasn';t trained and don't know what to do... I remember
walking around outside and hearing that something they had an-
ticipated happened... and they were getting ready to fight these
things... they were all getting ready for something else. Some-
1159
thing sort of celebratory... But then they found out these bad gi-
ant things were coming from the sky to slaughter everyone dur-
ing their big holiday day... and they all freaked out "We're not try-
ing to handle this!" Meanwhile, at the time I was sitting in my
room... I had some sort of movie I kept restarting next to me, but
I wasn't watching it. But then there was that other thing... that
movie going on... the movie playing outside of the house. I had
to go outside and they would do a drawing... like picking a num-
ber... I think... to see... I forget what... but I got one that would
not be called... one that was almost impossible to get... it gave you
immunity to have to do all this government stuff... except I ac-
tually wanted to do the government stuff... help out with all the
mecha stuff... so now I had a badge that meant I essentially could
go away free... didn’t have to do anything or risk my life... that
was weird.
• I was just watching this screen or something... it has the logo of

the band I’m looking at... and it comes by with this glockenspiel and
goes "DUGUGUGUG DU DU,” and the logo just floats by from
the side and goes to the left... and goes to land. But there is a logo al-
ready there... and it should be authorized... and it was a problem...
I was trying to land me as a logo... I was trying to land at the very
same time... another... ummm... Baltimore Alien Office... or some-
thing... some place... something about the "brewing"... and now I’m
going to wash my hands... uhhh... now I AM washing my hands. (I
then proceed to fall asleep while recording)
“PRESSURE POINTS”
11/25/2014 | 3:28 PM
[Yet to be transcribed]
1161
“WINE AND BREAD”
11/28/2014 | 12:16 PM
Trying to get Asia and everyone to get out of my room. Spend-
ing too much time in the sun or pairing bread and wine in non-
religious contexts was said to cause sickness, and that's how I
was experiencing a sickness. Some extreme intestinal issues. And
then there was someone talking about “Wendy”. They’re like “she
has that personality that just wandered out from... this thing.”
there was that girl who was following me around and that the-
ater:restaurant from earlier. I was with that girl for a while. It was
like a sixty-seven minute performance.
Idiot. Wouldn’t send a response following the cancellation. Had

to wait until we all found for ourselves, kind of trying to act like
it was on accident. I guess that was my parents who did that?
“The first machine is based on the final copy of the shingly-goo-

gah BAP. “ That BAP was a smack sound. Don’t know what hap-
pened but it was over on the side of my room, I think. Sounds
like it was distant. Sounds like it was trying to keep this guy qui-
et. And this guy didn’t say anything after that.
Okay I'm not sure how much I said about dream earlier because
I fell back asleep and the camera space filled up. So there's one
part in that dream where I was sitting on the steps petting a dog.
I was like playing with it a little bit and I was making sure no one
saw that I was doing that. I think I was kind of embarrassed to be
playing with it. But it wasn't bad at all. And then I spent most of
the time with this girl. It was really pleasant time we had, and I
was a little surprised because I'd asked her to come with me and
she would just come with me. She actually want to go with me.
1162
“ASTEROID”
11/30/2014 | 9:45 AM
There was some kind of asteroid and people were discussing
something about me. There was some kind of secret about how
people wanted to stop and see me. And I was on an asteroid.
And people were able to pretend that I was just... I don't know, it
was extremely abstract. It was really weird. But it was said that I
had been living on an asteroid and people were able to decide... I
don't know.
Also, I previously had a dream where I had gotten into a spat

with the online company that was printing my merchandise.
They had a problem with my pictures and showed me why they
wouldn’t print them and their reasons were “These aren’t your
bones. You’re holding someone else’s bones over your face.” And
I’m thinking what the hell, they’re just bones. Acting like it’s in-
tellectual property. I was holding a dead animal skull over my
face in the woods. That’s what the pictures depicted.
1163
“HORROR OR YELLOW”
12/01/2014 | 4:17 PM
• Horror or yellow. I don't remember what the fuck I was just doing
but I was doing some kind of color association. I remember the word
“stupid” was blue, and I kept going on, and people kept said some-
thing. I said “Stupid is blue.” So they asked “Then what’s this?” And
I said “It’s either horror or yellow,” like horror was a color or some-
thing. It was really bizarre. I was hallucinating right before asleep
and I had to get up and say that.
I forget what happened, but the last plot of the dream involved
some intergalactic race, and I ended up getting in a fight about
who would win. I ended up entering into it. He did too. I ended
up placing in fifth place, I think. I don't think he placed at all.
It was a lot tougher than we thought. So I still beat him. It was
ridiculously crazy, and I remember I landed in such a weird way
from the last jump that I earned some kind of a special title be-
cause of that. It was from this really high platform in the sky.
There was another part where I was sitting in the dark looking
at my computer while the song “Dhik Ta Na Na” played. I was
just timing different things, like I set that to come on at a specific
time, but then I missed that time. I remember the screen saying
“It’s getting ready. It will come on after such and such.” It was
counting down by using a bunch of vague markers. Like “The
song will play after something happens.” But I had no idea what
that meant. I also remember escaping from my house.
1164
“SOUNDS LIKE LUNCH”
12/02/2014 | 5:13 PM
A weird clip at the end shows that dog, “Auuuauah, soooounds
like luuuunch!” I don't know what that was. But it was singing
the song and then it changed the wording to it to make it sound
less like cannibalism, or disagreeable, or whatever. Not cannibal-
ism. But it was like a dog's head cut out on a white background,
and it was like singing the song.
There was that part about that man. And, I remember I was
walking down the street at night. That's after I jumped out of
the car when mom wouldn't go back to the house. We left and I
thought she was just picking something up. But she wasn't. She
was going. I said “If you don't stop right now I'm jumping out
and I'm leaving right here. Please don't make me walk in the rain.
Please do not make me walk in the rain.” She's like, “I'm not com-
ing back.” And so I left the car and walked back. That was almost
right before for the end. Then right before that there was a guy
who I was watching who was combining parts of children with
parts of technological parts. And I saw a video of that broth-
er and sister whose heads were wired together for like a year or
something and now they were just pieces and I felt really real-
ly disturbed by that. He’s showing how to install something and
these kids are barely there anymore. There's like pieces of their
heads are just missing, and he’s sitting there stuffing these wires
into m these weird size things. He’s giving a tutorial. He’s draw-
ing stuff up, “This goes here, and this goes here, and everyone
who has one of these should know where to put it.” And he’s try-
ing to give a simple explanations. “Here’s the Ethernet cable. We
1165
don't need to use this for this project.” He’s just going on about
all those things.
What was the house I was at where I was talking to that kid. And
then there's the part where Coleen thing where I was pressing the
button to hide her license plate. That was before me driving off.
I pressed the button to hide her license plate on her car, because
it was pouring rain out. And for some reason, it didn't work and
even made it worse. Well, it was supposed to be working, but it
sure looked worse. And there was that little boy I was talking to
in that one place. Who was a kid I was hanging out with for a
while? He was awesome. Was he one of the electronic kids?
Then in the beginning I can remember being in that place with

the dog. I was having a sleepover at a place in this room. Oh,
there was that part where I was on the mountain. And I think
there were some metal heads that walked by. I remember at first I
was on a mountain and we’re watching people walk by. But then
we were like ascending this weird... it was like a ballroom. I don't
know if that's the best way to describe it. I just remember ascend-
ing something instead of a building to get the top and there was
puzzles. I don't know. But then I remember spending the night
sleeping in this one room and I remember lying there, looking at
something. We're all watching TV—me and like 20 or 10 peo-
ple. And some guy lying in bed about ten feet to the right of me,
I remember hearing him say... sounds like he was talking about
how he had to go to the bathroom, but he didn't want to actu-
ally get up and go because he didn’t want to be seen or have to
fool around with the door. And it was really stupid and basically
boiled down to “I need to go to the bathroom but don’t want to
have to go to the bathroom.” Then I remember lying down think-
ing I need to go again, too, but I didn't say it, I thought it to my-
self, and then I thought if he comes knocking on the door while

I'm in there then that is totally not acceptable.
So I’m inside the bathroom and I hear people talking while I’m
taking a piss. It was a weird bathroom, too. Looked like there
were two doors, but I don’t think that one of them was real. Yeah,
I heard talking and right when I was pissing, I looked up in front
of me and there was blinds or something, some kind of glass. So
I looked through the glass and I could see into the other room
where the other people were, the other camp, and I just see a
girl and guy having a conversation, and I had some voyeuristic
thoughts at first—not like what you would think after what I just
said. Just thinking I could spy on people. But then I just remem-
ber watching for like five minutes and I went outside and there
was a giant wall. What was that? I climbed up something because
I heard that another group was on top of this wall or over this
fence, and I climbed up this area or over the fence, and I stuck
something through it or over it, and my actions attracted the at-
tention of Tyler. And he pops up like, “Hey, who’s that? Who’s
out there’” And I didn’t know he was there and was excited to see
him so I called out “Hey!” I ended up inviting him back to our
place. And when he got back, I realized What About Bob was on
TV. And I thought to myself “That’s strange, considering he and
I watched that together once before.”
After that there was something about a dog running in the house
and it ran over to me. I was videotaping something to do with
dogs.
That scene at the end where my mom left me out in the road was
real dramatic.m, because I thought we're just going to pick up
something. And she's like, “No, I don't like it here. We are going
away. We're going far away.” And I'm like, “I thought we're just
going to pick up some stuff and go right back.” She's like, “No,
we're going away.” But just a few seconds earlier she lied in an ef-
fort to go away and didn’t know that I would be indifferent to
that, thinking I wanted it too. And so she's like, “No, we're go-
ing away.” So I demanded she stop the car. She's like, “I'm not
stopping the car. I can't live around something something some-
thing.” And I repeated myself, “You need to stop the car.” And
she wasn’t listening. “You’re going to make me jump out in the
train?” And then so I jumped out. I was at the end of the street.
And I start shouting in a really emotional voice. “Please, please,
please, please help! Please, drive me back down this one road!
Please! Can’t you take me just the rest of the way and then you
can do what you need to do?” And I continued yelling please,
but she was still driving away and she never came back. I was just
telling into the dark, rainy night.
I also remember something to do with the gas station. I remem-

ber thinking it was weird that every time me and my dad went
to the gas station in the morning for cigarettes, they gave us a
“You are our top customer for the day.” Like we spent the most
money. And I was like “Hey, cool. We're the top customer.” That
happened at the beginning of the dream. And then it happened
about 80% through the dream, where they did that again. They
gave us another top customer card. And I’m like “Wait a second,
but we were here right in the beginning of the day, right before...
because we needed to come get cigarettes before we go do this.
So we are probably the only customers at that time, so it’s not a
big deal.” But then I’m working it out in my mind. “So they do
this all throughout the day. And then when someone tops our
purchase with like a soda, or something, they're just gonna give
that top customer card to the next person and then give out an-
other when someone tops them? That’s a stupid way of doing it.”
Then there was something about a brother and sister who just
knew each other so well. They spent so much time together in
one room. And this was right before I found out all that elec-
tronic stuff happened. Who was that really smart kid, though?
There was a kid I was hanging out with who was like ten. I re-
member explaining to my mom. I was like “Yeah, I was hanging
out with this kid who was like ten. No wait, the kid I saw yester-
day was ten, and I wasn’t hanging out with him.” And I remem-
ber confusing the ages of two people I was hanging out with.
“The kid I saw today was fourteen.”
I just remember this little house. I just remember walking around

with this kid. I was hanging out and he started talking so we ran
off and started explaining things and talking about stuff. He's
one of the people died in the beginning, I think. Right when I
heard myself saying that I’m thinking “Wait, what am I talking
about? Did someone die?”
I can’t remember what happened when that dog came in the

room. But I remember when that dog was in there, first it came
up to me. And I forget exactly what I was doing. I think it liked
me, but I feel like I was kind of disconnected from the scene.
Like maybe it wasn't even involving me. I just remember that
the people were asking it to do something, making dangerous
requests of it or something, like something that felt a little bit
wrong. “Hey, do this! Do this!” It was something that was bad
for itself, the dog. And it was just really unfair. They were asking
that.
I wish I remembered more about being out in the woods on that

mountain. Well, with the way that trail was, where I saw other
people walking. I just remember I was with my group of peo-
ple that I saw some other cool kids walking by, like metalheads
and people probably closer to my age. And they were cooler.

And so I forget what happened. I might have talked to them, or
they might have said something to me. I might have actually just
switched and gone with them instead. I don't even know.
“DRINKING”
12/03/2014 | 4:28 PM
I was sitting outside. I was really tired and screwed up, having
drank a lot. I was sitting in the car simply trying to relax. Then
the dogs began barking really loudly... and they were just going
on and on. So I went and picked up some object that looked
somewhat like a skateboard and I ripped the lid off of a cooler...
but then —— dog... and so I thought it would be stupid... to
—— the situation when —— acting as bad... Then I was like
"I’m going to go get the mail," so I went walking to the mailbox,
and I passed by our neighbor... who was standing right near
his mailbox. He was in his late fifties... He said "Hello," "Ahh
hey how are you doing?" "Ah——,” just standard stuff like that.
"Would you like a couple of dogs?" As soon as I turned around
he was standing there, and he had two little dogs on leashes.
1171
“SLEEPTALKING”
12/04/2014
I was tracking down this weird... ——?—— I just remember fol-
lowing after ——. I don't remember if she was Asian or Middle
Easrern or what.
"Don't want me to give it back?” [Illegible.]
"I'll bump your all hundred day.
Tons of illegible sleepwalking stuff here.
1172
“MATTRESSES”
12/05/2014 | 4:21 PM
At the end of the dream I was in New Jersey bedroom, nailing all
my t-shirts to my wall and ceiling. It took me a really long time to
do it, too. Then I tried to connect my mattresses together some-
how, and I remember walking into the living room and my father
asks "Did you do it?"
“Nah, I just finished one bed.”
“It took you THAT long for one bed?"
“Yeah..."
1173
“SUNGLASSES”
12/06/2014 | 9:56 AM
I can only recall the final scene before waking up. I was trading
sunglasses with Uncle Jamie. He had come over with a bunch of
unique sunglasses that no longer suited him and I was like "AW
MAN... Well, I have THESE!" So I kept running back and forth
between the drawers in my bedrooms looking for sunglasses. I
had TONS. I was the only one of us who was actually enthusi-
astic about the trade, saying "I have all of these! Do you want
to trade these?" I was digging through my drawers and finding
pair after pair after pair of novelty glasses I’ve purchased over the
years, finding no less than twenty pairs; though a lot of them
weren’t sunglasses, but safety glasses. They all had straps on them
and stuff. I don’t think that I realized it at the time, but it is clear
in retrospect.
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“THE MAZE”
12/06/2014 | 5:37 PM
There was that one time I was walking through the maze crying.
I was covered in something black. I was all composed at first
walking through the maze. I just kept going through it. And then
I burst into tears, thinking "That’s it." I don’t remember what
happened. I was just so overwhelmed. I remember being in the
lobby of the movie theater too. What was that all about?
At the beginning I met these guys. I remember sitting there,

meeting a guy to do these stripes on my walls. I hope I’m not
just making this up/hallucinating. I remember being lucid for a
bit around the end. I remember thinking "I need to write this
in my book," and I remember thinking about the dream where
I was trapped in the maze—within the dream. There was such
deep emotion in that scene. Can't believe I am recalling so little.
At the end there was some Christian metal promotional music
video talking about how the artists are ‘shining examples’? I don’t
know what that meant.
• There was a woman who was a lot older than the guy. She's asking
"Why did you tell these people about this?" and he says "It’s because
I didn’t want to risk..." I don’t know. This is maybe not a dream. I
just hallucinated.
The maze was a house, but it was intentionally constructed as a

maze.
• Not sure what’s going on now. The guy is trying to do something to

the boy that requires him to sit still... and he's asking questions. The
boy is...
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I remember playing this game. Oh god, there was that girl on

my floor who was disappearing, and I kept waking up, thinking I
could be with her. God, that was weird. I spent all night playing
these games with these people. I think the other guy was closer
to this girl than I was. They might have been an official couple. I
don’t know, but I liked her. We were all playing games. It felt like
we were actually in the game. It was a shooter, like the games my
father plays, like Halo. Everyone was sticking together as a group.
I was off on my own, running around by myself taking care of
everything. And I was like Ohh, and I saw these guys with gun,
so I’m shooting them, and I’m jumping around and shooting and
cruising through. Then I get shot and die. Then I just leaned
back, and I couldn’t come back right away. So I leaned back. I
think I needed their help. I leaned back, lay down, and I’m right
next to this girl, and I sighed "Played alone, died alone,” in a real-
ly dramatic sigh way... whisper, and she just starts laughing, like
with her mouth closed, I could hear her giggling at me, and I
go "You think that’s funny?" And she just gave me a look and
kept quietly laughing to herself. It was really funny. But when I
said that it sounded so sad. But then she started giggling. Then
I made another comment. I think she laughed at that one too.
Just kept making comments back and forth to each other. I don’t
know what happened, but then I might have fallen asleep, and
woke up half lucid half whatever. I don't know what happened.
I just remember getting up and looking at the ground,feeling
like I just woke up, saying "Wait, where is she?" and I could still
see the silhouette of her on my floor. And I thought I was in
reality. I thought "Oh my god, I could still see this girl in my
room!" I want to say her name was Catherine. She was disap-
pearing though. There was only like 70% opacity left. Speaking
of which, wasn’t there a funny disco song that came on tv while
we were all sitting there? While me and her were watching some-
thing. Yeah. And I started singing along with it or something and

she couldn’t understand how I knew it. But yeah, I saw a ghost-
ly version of her lying on my floor. And she was looking up at
me and waved at me or something, and I said "Whoa. HEY." But
only 70% of her left. Then I came and looked again. I was real-
ly disoriented so I was spinning, messed up, losing my focus,and
the next time I looked at her. I wasn’t trying to spin around or
change where I was looking, but when I would see her again it
would be harder to see her. I thought "Oh no!" and I tried to
get over to her, but she eventually vanished. I thought I took her
with me into reality or something.
“HER”
12/07/2014 | 8:26 AM
That girl I was discussing music or something with. Who I met...
I forget how. But later on she was at a party happening at my
house. And we were talking again. And she was just really great.
And I remember thinking near the end of the dream "Yeah, she's
become the most ——?” and I spent the whole dream, or most
of the dream trying to look for... I don’t even know how to
describe her, ‘cause everything I said sounds ridiculous. Man, I
don’t know. I can't possibly describe her. She made her own al-
tar... no... I don’t know. I was going to say I take that back, but
I guess I never said anything anyway. I don’t even know if any-
thing is sensible. She was just kind of eccentric. She was also the
one who, when my hand was having a problem, she messaged me
talking about an infection in my hand—an infection which I ob-
viously don’t have in real life. So she let me know about that, and
that’s the first time we talked since the party at my house... with
like thirty other people.
Something to do with trees in my backyard in New Jersey. I was

dragging something around. Really creepy stuff. I remember get-
ting my head caught in a spiderweb. That was freaky. What was
that?
I remember her being a bit older than me. When I thought

back on it later in my dream I was remembering when we first
met... oh wait, there was also that thing in public... I remember
my dad's ipod playing in public. Though he doesn't own one in
real life. I just remember me and my whole family all walking
through public... and it was like this little shopping area... and
we were crossing from one sidewalk to another between stores.
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And there was one of those little ipods... against the sidewalk.
And I went "What’s this doing here?" and my dad goes "That’s
mine...something something something." I forget... but it was
REALLY funny given the context... like something previously
happened to my iPod. Like I accidentally threw it. Anyway,
something creepy happened in my backyard in New Jersey. Like
I just remember moving around... and I was doing something...
just thinking of that girl. And I don’t know what I was trying to
do...
There were two giant shotguns. I took one of the tubs and
walked over to the deck and tried to fit underneath it, and I re-
member when I went over to it (New Jersey, near where the com-
puter room is, but a weird exit that didn’t quite look right). Yeah
I was trying to hide it underneath something, like the deck, but
there was very little space. So I was trying to push it underneath
something. But I noticed the door was opened right there, to the
house, computer room, and my dad came walking towards it or
out of it while I was doing this, and he goes "What's up?" and I go
"Oh... NOTHING,” trying to be very surreptitious; trying to get
rid of it. Not get rid of it, but storing it away for easy access. This
whole dream I was doing weird stealthy things, but at the same
time thinking about that girl. I remember being online looking
up pictures of like these weird mecha things; not mecha exactly,
but just weird giant creatures; ‘cause that girl had recommended
something to me. “Oh, you like this? You should check this out,"
and I never even gave it a shot even though she said that, because
I slowly began liking her more and more as time went on, so I
didn’t jump on it right away, and I thought "Wow, she's going to
represent this year of time." What was that weird part when I was
in the store? Yeah, this was one of the times when I met her, and
someone thought I was gay because of my demeanor or some-
thing, but I just remember the little get together at my house.
A bunch of people and she was one of them. She was hanging
out with a group of people, and I didn’t really have a crush on
her at that point. Yeah, she was older than me and I was really
thinking about that right at the end of the dream. I was think-
ing about the things I thought and the things I said to her the
first time we met, about how I wish I hadn’t brought attention
to it, because now I realized it was unimportant. What was she
saying? There was the name of this place. There was something
I was suffering from, and she goes "Oh no, that’s really not un-
common," and gave me the name of this place... and there was
a part where I found some site which gives you prescriptions
and examines you online. I thought "Is this real? Could they do
that legally?" where they just give you prescription drugs online.
Like "Okay. You have anxiety, now go get your percocets." and I
thought "Can they really do that online without meeting you?"
I don’t know if she was trying to make me feel better about some-
thing I had or not. "Oh no, you're normal... this and that,” but
it made me really happy. And I remember cutting out the words
she said and using it for something. I don’t know. Like an im-
age, I think. Printing it and doing something with it. Maybe I’m
just messed up. I’m really tired right now. The things I’m say-
ing sound right when I’m saying them, but a few seconds later I
go "Huh? What did I just say?" Yeah, I think in the very begin-
ning of the dream I was working at a science lab. It might even be
where I met this girl. But I was working in a laboratory of sorts
at the beginning. Very white, very bright.
I’m not sure, the whole thing was with the age. I just know she
was older than me. And I’m thinking I was thirteen, so she was
18. I don’t really know. That’s what is coming to mind when I
think about what I thought at the time—thirteen and nineteen?
Again, I’m really tired and don’t know if what I’m saying is cor-
rect.
“THE COPS”
12/08/2014
I was scolded by the cop for attempting to flee the scene of the
crime.
"TENDON LEVEY, YOU ARE IN TROUBLE!”
“WHY?"
“FOR TRYING TO ESCAPE!”
“I WASN’T TRYING TO ESCAPE. I WAS TRYING TO

FIGHT BACK!"
“Oh...well, you're in trouble."
There was that part where I had all those things falling out of my
eyes. There were holes in my eyes and I was just standing over
something. And there were people and creepy things falling out
of my eye sockets onto some weird CD insert on the floor—for
like ten minutes. It was the creepiest thing, seeming like a movie
playing out. It was so freaky. All these dead things falling from
the holes.
Then there was that guy in the hallway. What was he doing? Did
I ask him to do something for me? At the end he was in the hall-
way.
I was running around. It was like a sidescroller at the very end.

And suddenly this woman I was fighting started launching at
me—the woman I was looking for—and I was trying to punch
or shoot back and ran right into a cop who was standing right
in front of me, and that’s not usually how he appeared, and
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"Tendon Levey you are under arrest! You are in trouble!” And
I explained myself, and anyway he said "Oh... well... that’s bad...
you’re in trouble," though it wasn’t usually something we got in
trouble for... so who was that skeleton headed guy sitting in the
hallway eating all the candy? He destroyed something and I was
trying to get him to pay for damages. I was like "You could at
least pay for THIS!” I forget what it was. Really weird though.
He was a skullheaded man. I don’t know what I was thinking
a minute or two ago about trying not to be seen... that freaky
thing with things dropping out of my eyes, scary...just dropping
out of my eyes endlessly... I would feel something coming then
just feel aaaaaaaaahhhhh and it was so weird... the sensation...
and it wasn’t like they were just dropping out of my eyes. They
were all ALIVE. And what’s that part where I was trying to look
for the word to describe... we were describing animals and hu-
mans... sitting in a kitchen or some place... and I asked "Wait...
what is that word to describe..." wait... there was a part where I
was food shopping with Jeiezza? I remember we were in a store.
And then a place that looked like the far end of the church, right
near where the fellowship hall branches off. What was that all
about? She went and sat on the floor... and I had to go back
and watch something of hers... but before that we were shopping.
I forget what we were looking for though. I think there was a
part where someone squeezed my neck, or related... Yeah... I re-
member someone had something really wrong. Like a knife in
their neck, and they tried to rip it out... and I remember think-
ing "Wow, I've been looking at this for like a minute now and I
was so distracted by a different detail that I didn’t realize it was
in the neck, and I didn’t even have a flare-up." I just remember
thinking "Wow... how did I avoid the flareup... that’s insane." but
everything was so chaotic at the end. So many scenes going on at
once... ruining each other... chasing each other. Trying to get ea-
chother arrested...
It really sucked when that cop grabbed a hold of me. I ran right
into him. It was a crazy moment, ‘cause I knew I had been caught,
and wasn’t going to try to get out of it. But it was so upsetting,
‘cause I was just preparing to fight that woman... and it was so an-
noying to be apprehended... I don’t remember who the woman
was.
• I can't figure out that word I was trying to think of. I remember
discussing it with my mother, and I was sitting there dissecting the
etymological roots of things... "So... a turkey, in this context... in the
way it acts and sits down... would be called this... so what is it called
when a human does the same thing?" Something like that. And I’m
not sure I ever had an answer before the scene changed.
The people falling from my eyes were mostly dead people... who
were now alive again... like zombies I guess. Just falling out of my
eyes. Everything was dead... that was falling... on the floor... into
a pit. And it was so freaky ‘cause it was fighting back. Fighting
while it was falling. Afraid that it was all going to hurt... because
they were trying to kick, punch, grab, hurt my eye while falling
out of it.
I remember sitting on the couch appealing to my father, and then

“Ode” by Bathory came on, and I stopped, and I was just star-
ing at the stereo listening to the song. And that was it. That’s the
second time recently in which “Ode” was in my dream. I don’t
know why. It’s a good song, but I still don’t know why.
“ATHAMES”
12/09/2014 | 5:15 PM
I was just yelling outside of the window from the balcony to the
girl who was down in the grass. She was doing something. I said
"Wait, who is this?" and she said "I’m not that other girl, I can
tell you that.” I forget what she called her, but I knew who she
was referring to... This was after I walked looking for that oth-
er girl who was crying who I was told to find... but I walked in
on all those other people looking serious... maybe praying... and
she might have been one of them, but "Oooooh," so I walked
back out. Then I was at this balcony shouting "I thought you
left!" "No!" she had this long speech about "I’m going to be who
I want to be, and I’m going to do this, and I’m going to do that,
and I’m not going to allow anybody to tell me ——.” It was just
some inspirational type speech. This was the girl me and that
guy just got in a huge fight over... I remember freaking out and
straining, doing weird movements, and he just didn’t care... nor-
mally it would freak people the fuck out over how demonic it
looked, he just didn’t care. We got in a HUGE fight outside. So
much stuff going on in this weird house... many rooms. Sever-
al people were getting ready to move. Some old church friends
were in it but I didn’t feel like having them in the dream so I like
edited them out or turned them into other people. And one girl
was crying. Every time I walked through one of the rooms of the
house I saw her crying... she had a bunch of warts on her face...
she was otherwise attractive, but the warts were very conspicu-
ous. But yeah that girl at the end had a Pokémon shirt on and I
thought "YEAH!" and I said at one point "Not only is something
something... more consistent and ——... but it’s cheaper for us
to buy your stuff... it’s cheaper to buy your stuff because... when...
1185
something recognizes that you chose a theme, it rewards that..."

"When it recognizes that there is a pattern in your purchases it
rewards that with..." I don’t know... it was good for her and me
and everyone who knew her. I don’t know who that guy I was
fighting was... I thought he was going to punch me. I grabbed his
collar tight... We were outside. This went on for a LONG time.
Anyway, I don’t know what the fuck was going on. But me and
that girl got into a fight too. I said the wrong thing to her, and
hurt her feelings, I think. Something about her clothing? or I
compared her to someone. And then that guy got in a huge phys-
ical fight. We were constantly at each other. We had to be sepa-
rated. And I wasn’t able to attend school because he was there.
And I remember I kept waiting to go back... to school... because
that’s when they incorporated lifts...and ——? But I walked in
and they went "Who do we have now!" and they had like... ?
I don't know. I don’t think I described that right. Okay, there
was weird sexual stuff with that girl. I remember being in bed
with that girl. We were making out for a while. We didn’t do
it very much, ‘cause she was always like... it was never the right
time. And there was one part where we were making out, and
other people were around too I think. But I just had my hand
around her stomach... and then she took my hand and started
slowly inserting it into the top of her pants...while she's still kiss-
ing me, saying "I noticed you haven't put your hand here yet...
I don’t have a problem with that” and she thinks she’s being all
sexy, and yet in my mind I was like "EeHHHHHHHHHH-
HHOOOOOOOOOOO. BUT I DO. BUT I DO." and I re-
member just moving my hand right back to where it was before
just ‘cause I wasn’t comfortable with it... and I hoped she didn’t
notice, but it was really uncomfortable for me... like "Oh ... god...
no."
• The new girl was named ATHAMES? She was good. She seemed
naturally more compatible with what I wanted... but I wanted the
other girl. Who was mad at me for the longest time. Wait. Which
one was Athames? Am I making this shit up? Am I hallucinating?
I guess this wasn’t in the dream.
But then the girl with the Pokémon shirt... who I was yelling to
over the balcony... I think I ran from her on the beach... no that
was not her. Then that guy left the room, and by the time he
came back I had pulled the chair to a different spot in the room.
I had written something on. Asked a question that was a bit too
personal I guess and he left without saying anything. Asked the
question I wrote on the chair. I don’t know. At one point I had
a goofy costume on but I think they made me change it. Not
goofy, but very extreme. Just a costume in general. I remember in
the beginning I was riding in a car listening to music. My mother
may have been there also...
• She had eighteen drugs in one night? She had eighteen drugs in
one night!? That's a lot! Well, I guess it depends. I don’t know what
she was doing. Someone called her Barbie. I don't know. She was
really attractive. She definitely got insulted by something I did...
and... yeah...
Yeah, the guy is just staring outside. The phone rings and he's
pretending he doesn't hear it. And so he's squinting even though
he has sunglasses on. Looks like he's in a used car parking lot.
Looks down then picks up. And... he's probably the nicer one of
the two... but... ... tights ... pack... pack with the pants in it. Even
though it’s a different guy, I think. What was in that big box?
Magazines? I don't know.
Yeah I remember my mother yelling down the stairs trying to

give me advice with stuff when I was having trouble with this
girl. I remember I kept walking by the windows, and there were

monster-like things coming out of me. Like my shadow was in
the form of a monster, but a little more complicated than just a
snake or a goat head...
I’m really confused by the order of things.
I wish I could explain that fight between me and that guy... I

just really dreaded running into him. I remember I ran inside my
house and hid for a little while, but then I went back out there all
tough "LISTEN," and I might have had something with me this
time... although most of the time I was unarmed...
• Yoooouuurrfoooorheeere... Youuuurfoorehereere... Pretty picture?

Not sure what I'm looking at.
I remember doing some things that were very embarrassing. Re-

member Daniel being there.
• Therapy? I have no intention of paying for this visit with money

I don’t have, so I don’t intend to use someone else's money to pay
for it... I don’t know what I just said... (COME BACK TO THIS
LINE. ILLEGIBLE. This clip features a ton of hypnagogic non-
sense hallucinations as I’m just fading rapidly in and out of sleep
while talking ). *
I just remember when I grabbed that guy's collar I did something

goofy. Like I realized I should have done something else at that
point, but I did something strange instead... which I don’t think
was threatening at all.
• Nineteen. Twenty. Twenty-one. Twenty-two. Twenty-three,

twenty-four, twenty-five, twenty-six... Wait... What am I doing...?
Push-ups? Jumping jacks? I don't know. Maybe I'm not working out
at all.
Every time I pass by a room through the halls that girl is always
there... That girl looked lonely but no one was talking to her.
Creepy. Who is she? in the sense of who she is. Where she comes
from. Why does... her outline ... show as a little different color
than the rest of us... who were golden...? Like "WHERE?
WHERE?" all the music stopped playing. Asking for something.
Dammit, I already forgot what it was. But I don’t think I had it...
okay... that’s it... I’m getting up. I've been talking for too long...
and I don’t even know what I've been saying.
That part where me and that guy were in that fight was weird,
because we were really going at it and threatening each other.
I feel like a kid walked by at one point who reminded me of
Patrick. I just remember trying to act possessed by making some
weird demonic body movements, and he was just unfazed, and I
went "HOW CAN THAT BE? EVERYONE FREAKS OUT
AT THOSE!" and he was getting a little strange too. Not like
I was, but a lot of facial contortions. I don’t remember what we
were fighting about, though. I think it was in that scene when we
were all out in that yard at night time, that property, kind of like
NV’s property. Was there some food? Some cooking going on? I
don’t know. Everyone was saying the wrong things to each oth-
er, and that’s why the girl got upset with everyone. Then the guy
got upset with me and was following me around the house, and
it was all never-ending.
“TEMPTATIONS OF SATAN”
12/10/2014 | 7:16 PM
I was at my grandparents house, and... oh... dead battery (found
on computer?)
There were those plays going on, and I was hanging on the ceiling
so that no one could see me. I was behind the curtains, up in
the ceiling. I was raising the volume knobs and stuff. They were
playing some LLN-type stuff and I was raising the volume. The
things they were saying were really weird, and there was a weird
play going on, and I was looking at some of the theater posters.
There was this guy eating a giant, long snake that was supposed
to be Satan, and I said "What happened to this guy?" and they
said "Temptations of Satan!" I don’t remember. It was freaking
me out. The poster showed this snake getting ready to lunge and
climbing into his mouth, and I thought "No way,” and I walked
away. I remember talking to JB at the end. And I said "Remem-
ber last year when we were cleaning those bathrooms together at
church?" "That wasn't a church. That was the something some-
thing home, but yeah, that was a fun time,” and then she made
an inside joke. And then I said "Wait... was that really a year ago?
Or does it just feel like it?” but she never corrected me, so I was
surprised.
My sister was sitting at a table with a bunch of her friends and

I kept walking by and making comments about something I was
doing. I don’t recall the specifics. She actually helped me out
with something. At one point I was standing by the sink speak-
ing with her while I washed my hands. My parents kept slip-
ping on something. Yeah, this was all about a performance. I just
remember climbing these tall, heavy, maroon curtains from the
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back and no one could see that I was there, and I got to decide
when the music came in and everything.
“ANITA, MAYBE”
12/11/2014 | 10:53 PM
Before I forget, I wanted to mention about the dream I had earli-
er in the afternoon... in the last one... there was something about
Anita, and I don’t remember it. I don’t know if she was in it or
if I was talking about her, but she was definitely a crucial part of
the dream, and I can no longer remember. I’m not even sure if I
recorded anything of that dream. Dammit.
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“WAY TOO HARD OF SPIRITS”
12/12/2014 | 6:57 PM
Something about the mom being on ‘way too hard of spirits’,
meaning alcohol, and “May have been a good thing in Louisiana
to build the dog an igloo, but out here in New York, doing that
same thing ain’t right.” Something about her building the dog
an igloo made out of alcohol, and the girl is trying to figure out
what went wrong because it was just a disaster.
There was this weird-voiced guy talking to this other guy.
“You are very talented. Your human nature is witty.”
Then the other guy goes “Witty!”
And the weird guy echoes him, “Witteee!”
It went back and forth in a weird sing-songy way, with his eye-
brows raising.
I remember something about the ocean. Like “Here’s why it

would suck to go to heaven. Here's why. Like the rocks, you have
to sit on the rocks. They suck. They get really really hot and...
I don’t know rocks suck. Something something something. It’s
hot in your sun. It hurts your ass.” These were all the arguments
against Heaven. But then reasons in favor of... I guess the oppo-
site of Heaven was underwater. And so it was... I don't know it
was a really bizarre argument, it was real bizargument.
I remember having to protect a house. There was a giant baseball

bat. There was a bunch of these rod like weapons. I jumped over
the rails of a staircase at these guys. And that was like amazing.
1193
And then I just like whacked one of them. He started chasing

me. But then I, I forget what happened, but when I hit him, he
dropped what he had. And at first we were even, and it was pretty
frightening because we're going head to head, we're just like step-
ping close to each other. When we went to swing, his fell. And
so he went taking off running, because now he was totally gonna
lose. So I left over the rail, and I whacked him hard. But then
they turned into skateboarders that were not here but some-
place else. And they disappeared. They vanished from where they
were. So it's like I killed them in a different period of time, or got
rid of them in a different period of time but not now. It was a
really weird time thing going on. But yeah, I was upstairs, with
my mother. And there was something else when I was standing
on the stairs. I was able to see something weird was on the steps
like I was able to see like miles and miles away. But yeah, that
was pretty freaky having to go fight. There’s people coming up,
I'm like, oh, no, what's going on? The whole house under siege.
So I was looking through the floor and everything was chaotic. It
was like an end of the world kind of situation. There were things
falling apart. So there was little pieces of metal rods and things
everywhere. And I think when I grabbed that baseball that when
another guy grabbed a piece off the floor, when he saw me com-
ing at him like like that.
“NAKED CONGREGATION”
12/14/2014 | 3:14 PM
I was giving a speech, but the crowd was filled with naked
women. And there was one woman that was there before all the
other ones. I mean, they're like young, twenties. And so I'm star-
ing at the one that was there first. I'm staring at her while I'm
talking. And she's just kind of looking around. And I think she
feels funny because she could have kept all the other girls from
coming since she didn't realize she was able to do some kind of
trick scheme with school as an excuse, or something. But she
didn't think about that until it's too late. Now all those other girls
are there hogging my attention or something like that. That’s
what was going on in her mind, but that’s not how I saw it. I was
viewing the scene through her perspective.
1195
“ANGELHOOD”
12/14/2014 | 5:12 PM
I was just arguing with someone about naming a band. Angel-
hood? I missed my chance to do something since I woke up so
late and then I went into the wrong room in the morning. Some
girl had to stick up for me because...
Flare... with flare... it’s because... it’s that thing about where it’s so
interesting but they won’t read about it.
I was just trying to convince that girl over the table. I was trying
to give her a low hug. I was on my knees or something, because
I was under the table and didn’t feel standing up like the other
people, which was a guy to my left and a girl in front of me. And
when I did that, I put my arms around her midsection, I said
“Whoa, my hug went just as high as his!” And I was cracking up
because he was a lot taller. Or he was just you know, he was just...
I don't know. He wasn't not taller, but he wasn't on the floor. So
that made it funny. But then I'm like “So, you gonna be making
a triumphant special return later with a bunch of flare?” And she
said “No, unfortunately not.”
It's like she, in the beginning, wanted to suffer, and Rubid had
given her the best suffering, and you basically said “Nope, that’s
no good.” I don't know. The people to whom I was explaining
it were asking “What???” And I said “That’s ridiculous isn’t it?”
“Yeah!”
Have I been talking? About the quandary? I don’t know where

that goofy shaped guy went. Damn.
1196
They came back to the door after they left? I guess it’s because the
dog accidentally ran out with them and they had to return the
dog. Whatever.
Wait, what was going on in that place? There was a warehouse.

There was a party going on downstairs. My father came out at
the end when I was sitting on the couch talking to the girl. He
had taken off all his Levi clothing, changing from Levi clothes to
normal stuff, taking off makeup, and I got worried.
[Illegible sleeptalking]
• I was worried at first, sniffing all those things. “Oh, it’s upside
down! It’s upside down!” After I sniffed about five different things
with that powder stuff in it, but then, I... When I say ‘I’, I'm not
really talking about me, I’m talking about that girl Katie. She was
with that guy Dave. They were a black image logo, but their shirts
themselves... at least this one guy’s shirt, was white. Not white. I
mean pink.
• “I know there's magic in you, I can see it with my eyes. I know

there's magic in you, I can see it with my eyes.” That’s because we’re
all standing in the checkout line. The small one, the express lane, it's
only supposed to have a few people a few people, but it had around
ten. Everyone commenting “How did it get so big?” then was like
“You got some magic, dude. You got some magic, sir.” Then I walked
by and said “You DO have some magic.” And I look, and I see my
self-portrait right there, and I look over and see it’s... [trails off ]
“PHYSICAL VIOLENCE”
12/15/2014 | 5:38 PM
There was a black guy in the bathtub in the next room over. He
called me in and was telling me about guy at his workplace who
said, “Yeah, I'd like to be able to remain passive, but sometimes
these situations can lead to phyyyysii-calll viooooo-lence.” He
said it just like that, too. Simply explaining how some situations
necessitate violence.
This is right after I was in that room the other woman, in her
apartment. I was telling her about how I never thought these
past couple days would happen. I thought the night that we
watched the movie and then went to bed was the last day we ever
had. Well, in a sense. I thought I would wake up and experience
the same day four or five times over again and do the same exact
things blah blah. We had so much fun together. She was wear-
ing that see through bee hoodie or whatever she was wearing. It
looked really good on her. So I was like “So I guess you’re gonna
keep that hoodie after all, huh.” It was hers, but I think we might
have purchased it this wake, maybe I did, in the past couple days,
and we still didn’t know if she would give it away, discard it or
keep I forget what her reasoning was, but I was saying “I guess it’s
now gotten enough fun memories associated with it to not want
to let go.” And she agreed.
I was staying at this place with two girls. Don’t really know what
the help was going on, or the difference between them was. First
I was with that one girl who had the yellow bee coat over the top
1198
of her other clothes. I was in the bath or in a towel at one point.

I know I was walking around in a shower towel, which is weird.
It’s funny, ‘cause it’s the one time I got ... it's funny ... I got him
dropped due to “bad moral standards, low convictions”. He’s just
naked in a tub and thinking his coworkers are gonna step in and
intervene because these can lead to bad situations, so they can’t
just let it unfold.
• I got a lot more posters coming in the mail in the next couple days,
though, so...
• Necrovore to the point of Necrovore! Wait, what am I talking

about. Walking through the woods... now I’m walking through the
woods because I need to piss so bad. But then... my sister had expect-
ed me to leave hours ago and she was getting really frustrated so I
wanted to show her that I was leaving. So I left, but I needed to ac-
tually sneak back down into the house, in the bottom, to take a leak
really bad. I don’t know if that has anything to do with anything.
I’m hallucinating now. But I do need to piss.
• I forgot to give that girl her... they’re not pillows... some custom
product... yeah, I was at a hotel, and I mention someone, and she
goes “You know him?!”
There was something in a cage and I accidentally let it go and

then it ran around the yard. It was a flying animal. Really crazy. I
was always taking care of it, always petting it. And then one day I
tried to trust it and then it got out and flew out into my yard and
I’m saying “This is gonna be the end! It’s going to leave us!” I for-
get what it did though. It came down to be held for the first time
or did something uncharacteristic which made it easier to pet.
Okay, so... there was that part where I was standing in the store
with the one girl, the newer girl, the one with the bee hoodie
who I wasn't intending to end up with romantically. And then I

just remember thinking, after spending the night with these two
girls, wondering “Where is the other one? Why am I here with
this one?” I just remember looking down the line and seeing like
a ghostly version of myself walking through the Christmas or-
naments section or something. Christmas lights, with the oth-
er girl. And it was like a projection going on. And it was trying
to me something weird. I don’t know what was going on. It was
very, very strange.
I just kept ending up in really compromising positions. And I

don't remember everything that happened because I just partially
started going back asleep while recounting it. But whatever that
weird beast was in my yard that I was tending to, it was not quite
fully animal. It had some kind of like human consciousness to it.
It was like a demon. But it was huge and black. It was like a black
spiritual dog. And it was absolutely huge, and I don’t know what
happened but I looked away for a moment and I was bragging
about how I had it. It's like it finally had an opening to leave, and
it just climbed out of the cage and I had never gotten to really
get close to it just because I was always afraid of it leaving. So I
never got to open it up and really touch it or ride it. I kind of
just took care of it through the cage or kept it in there the whole
time. And as soon as I opened it, it just leapt out when I wasn't
looking. And then I just saw it walking through the yard and I
was like, “Oh no, it's gonna leave.“And it was it was pretty creepy
too. I was like, “Oh no, what’s it gonna do to me.” But then I
went over to it and I don’t know what I did. I think I got on its
back and it flew around a little bit or something weird and I was
really really happy because it didn't look like it was gonna toler-
ate me now that it had regained its freedom. That was its way of
letting me know that it’s still belongs to me or wishes to be with
me.
What was all that stuff with this guy over the past 20 minutes...
the guy with the big nose. There were all these crazy things going
on in the past few minutes, and that Chinese kid who... Someone
died, and this Chinese guy was saving up money for something.
Then that money was stolen, and the guy who died was a friend
of his, and now everything was put in limbo and no one was
touching the money or was able to say anything about some-
thing. The specifics elude me. I think I accidentally treaded onto
it and I didn't know what I was doing. But I tried to help the situ-
ation out. Tried to help them get over something that happened
and try to help the kid with what he was originally trying to do.
The thing with the girls was the weirdest part, though, just be-
cause it's just kept going on and on. The one I was there with first
was you know, not one who I was really as romantically attract-
ed to, but she was really awesome, and she definitely liked me,
and that other girl showed up, so then it’s just me and two girls
spending the night in this hotel. And it was just really bizarre be-
cause I really liked the one but they both liked me, and I remem-
ber taking a bath or a shower, and there was just weird stuff going
on. Not like weird to the normal human population. Just weird
to me, like walking around in a towel. Just something I never do.
I remember taking off running out of the bathroom towel, like
one of them came in and I went running. I think that might have
been it. I don’t know what happened between all three of us, but
the last thing of that chapter in my dream was just that thing l in
a store where I looked down the aisle and I saw and like “why am
I with the one that I didn't like? what happened the other one I
see that ghostly version of myself walking with the other one and
it was like leading into another story and it was just very weird to
me me.
“PHOTOSHOOT”
12/16/2014 | 6:38 AM
• I was lying in bed hallucinating, and I was thinking, as I was ly-
ing here, someone was taking my picture. Me and someone else. We
were getting our picture taken. I looked over and saw that someone
else was looking in our direction. They were just kind of staring back
and forth, so they didn’t look like they had anything to do. So I in-
vited them to come over here, too. The next thing I know, they're
getting their picture taken with us in my bed, and the next thing I
know it’s just me in my bed. Sleepwalking, wondering what the hell
I’m doing, who I’m talking to. One by one I came to my senses, and
didn’t understand what was going on.
This morning, right after... Well, the dream I had this morning,
after my main sleep... I dreamt that I was walking around and
I was standing on... I was wrapping myself in my album covers.
They were like blankets... And I think the floors were tiled with
my album covers too. It was GREAT. I think I remember If I’m
Extinguished Through World... wrapping myself in that one.
1202
“LANDSCAPING
CONTRACTORS”
12/16/2014 | 4:47 PM
• Thought I was filming... uhh... I don’t even know what I was talk-
ing about. I think I was just thinking of landscaping contractors...
1203
“DANCE PARTY”
12/18/2014 | 6:03 AM
A song was dedicated to me, and it sounded like it was saying
"Tinman" in the song. Which was interesting. I was trying to get
that name to show up around public places so that people were
aware of it, but they changed the song that was coming on next,
and the song that came on was a slow ballad. It still works, but I
didn’t know until a day later, when I learned which song they ac-
tually dedicated to me when I went back and reviewed the setlist
and thought "Ahhh, what!?" That was weird.
I was hanging out in this lounge with all these people. Lots of
dancing going on. It was like a chase or something. I remember
the house was really really weird. There were so many ways to ac-
cess each individual room of the house. Earlier on I remember
being outside... getting kicked out of a place... what was that all
about...
I think it was when I threw that thing at the woman—at her eye.
It was a black thing that gave her a black eye; because these peo-
ple convinced me to do it. I forget the reason, but I think she
ended up getting kicked out for the duration of the dance cele-
bration, because she was caught doing something unfair. It was
something that wasn’t even that big of an issue, and she had to
miss the whole night, and it sucks, because it was really unfair.
And then at the end of the dream, she was coming back to the
place and people were telling her what she missed.
• The guy puts safety pins on the very edge of his sleeve or collar every
time he thinks of the girl who just died. I guess he was dating her.
1204
It was kind of odd, since he just did that in front of the girl’s older
sister. But they were very small pins.
I think I got kicked out of a restaurant due to some ridiculous

stunt. I also think I got in a fight with Asia and possibly another
family member.
I went hitchhiking, got picked up by two black police officers

who were driving a massive truck—unrealistically large. They
were the ones who brought me to that lounge. It was really crazy.
They stopped, and I went "Wait... am I in trouble... wait... I want
to ride with you guys... but first... am I in trouble? Because I
didn’t do anything wrong... and you guys are looking at me like
this is all a part of a set-up...”
“Oh no, no,” they answered.
“Are you sure? ‘Cause I really need a ride, and this looks like a
great ride... but... you know...”
It was just a really great vehicle, very hard to step up into. I had to
climb. It was like twenty-feet high. Ridiculous. They took me to
the party. The girl selected a song like “Tainted Love” and I was
annoyed, asking "Why would you select that for our dance?" or
something to that effect. Was this really in the dream...? I might
be hallucinating right now and it’s possible that none of this ever
happened.
“FROG LEGS”
12/19/2014
• I was sleepwalking during my last nap, and immediately before
falling asleep, I imagined a scene in which I was talking to someone.
They were talking about frog legs, and I didn’t understand. Every
time they said “Frog legs” I said "Huh? Frog legs?" They kept talking
about it. Then, out of nowhere, I interrupted and started singing
"Shake shake shake, shake shake shake, shake your frog legs, shake
your frog legs!” (obviously to the tune of KC & The Sunshine Band’s
“Shake Your Booty”). It was so funny and I wouldn’t stop.
1206
“THE SKELETON”
12/21/2014 | 3:00 PM
Really crazy stuff with the skeleton I was with. I was so happy be-
cause no one else could tell it was a skeleton. And the skeleton
was getting in trouble "You missed the whole day of guitar prac-
tice..." and I’m like "Yeah... this kind of guitar is just... something
something." We were on a sports field or something. They were
my best friends in the whole world. I was so in love with them.
We were doing something with all of this military stuff. Things
were getting blown up. I remember at the end some kid went
and stole some games. This was after the skeleton was gone. I was
just so happy that no one would believe that this was just a skele-
ton. Who did I keep contacting...? I kept trying to get in contact
with someone. I guess it was the skeleton? In the middle of the
night... no, it was a girl. In the middle of the night I kept sending
messages to the window of another dimension or something. Oh
hell, there was some dark fucking stuff going on.
I remember that kid flipped out "SO WHAT. DOES EVERY-

ONE THINK I’m CRAZY?"
“Yeah dude, you're crazy."
And he just went freaking out "THIS IS THE SECOND TIME

YOU’VE DONE THIS TO ME!" And he went running away.
It’s because I was defending the skeleton. It’s like he almost
caught on to what was going on and I had to pretend that he was
wrong. So he couldn’t believe why no one else was seeing what he
was seeing. But what was the deal with that girl in the window?
I was contacting her in the middle of the night. There was some-
thing very demonic about what I was doing. But she was like the
1207
most amazing person in the world. It was so intense, whatever

it was. I was preparing for something... I don’t know what was
going on, but everything revolved around this one girl. I don’t
know if she and the skeleton were the same person or what. I
think she was going to kill me. Or I was behaving way too flip-
pantly with what was a very serious matter. What was that... I just
remember me and the skeleton just sitting under the tree, and I
was just talking with it when that coach came over and got mad
because of the thing with the guitar; and I just remember look-
ing around while he was talking to the skeleton. I was looking
around at everyone. Everyone was up so close... all just up to the
skeleton. They were all talking to him and looking at him, ask-
ing normal questions... and giving him normal punishment as a
result of failing to do something... he was part of our squad... our
military thing. And I got so happy because everyone was so close
to him and they weren’t thinking he was any different than the
rest of them... he was able to fit in, got along with them perfect-
ly and I never thought that would happen... that it would be ac-
cepted as a human being. Something got snagged again when we
were walking around. And it tore off something. And I remem-
ber handing it back to him. It was like a peanut butter wrapper...
which had absolutely nothing to do with what got snagged... like
to substitute for what got tore off... to fill in the place of it...? ha-
hahaha.
• In my mind I just got in a fight with someone. "IF THIS IS A

PROBLEM WITH ALL THESE PEOPLE, THEN TREAT
IT AS A PROBLEM WITH ALL THESE PEOPLE!" Then the
other person was yelling at me, and I was trying to make them ad-
mit that this was not just something that if you focused... like... it
wasn’t just about... they were yelling at me and someone else, but
it wasn’t specifically our fault. "IF THIS IS A PROBLEM IN-
VOLVING SOMETHING SOMETHING THEN TREAT IT

AS SO." What was going on...
At the end, when the person left, they ran by, grabbing some
stuff—the thing with the empty packages (even though they
were empty they stole them).
I can’t remember much about the girl. I remember walking out-

side this building in the middle of the night and shouting
through the window, and it was something I could have got
killed for. I remember realizing this was pretty dangerous. And
there was someone else there too that wasn’t a human being.
It was like a spiritual being. And I remember them asking the
girl something about what I was doing. I remember wandering
around in the back of their yard... quoting something... reciting
something. Knowing I would get to see that girl again the next
morning. What happened when it showed up and I was com-
pletely nude... I think that’s how it was... what was that...
• I think he gave up writing because he realized that he didn’t have

all the things required, and I showed him that I can get them for
him, but he didn’t think it was worth the hassle. So I don’t think he
gave up during the time of my dream. But he was going to give up.
What the hell am I talking about? I don’t know if this is anything
at all. I might just be sleeptalking.
Is that girl the skeleton... I believe so. But what happened? Be-
cause I remember that it was at first a girl.
• “This thing looked much better out loud... you know, before I
started scrambling to write it all down.” I don’t know what I’m say-
ing in response to, but I just had that going in my head. Just a little
lingering piece of dream floating around... mixing with hallucina-
tions I’m getting now.
“DUMB STUFF”
12/22/2014 | 6:34 AM
I was with my family and we decided to go somewhere. I re-
member looking at this shelf, and there were like fifty... I remem-
ber thinking, "Oh man if I knew we were going to be doing
something something I would have taken the entire series," There
was something at the end where my mom was pissed off at guys
in bands... or something... and there were all these pictures of
girls standing behind the guys in bands. And some of them were
bloody too. Like the guys had knives stuck in them. And the
girls were standing behind them as if to insinuate that they were
responsible, controlling the strings, and I shouted "WHAT IS
ALL THIS DUMB STUFF?"
1210
“DUMPSTER GUY”
12/23/2014 | 6:27 AM
Only a minute ago I was saying "I only swallow video cameras if
I’m about to eat something else.” There was this weird place in-
side me... that I ate something... then it would resurface inside
of me... and you could see through it... inside... and you could
see... where it was. It was just weird. Then I remember lying to
my mom banging on the door... asking me if I had something in
my room, and I said "NO I don’t. IS THAT ALL?" or there were
like thirty things she was looking for. Or thirty possible things...
I forget, I don't know. I was listing items. This was after get-
ting back from the church parking lot. Yeah I remember showing
up at church. Talking about dumpster diving, and someone was
like "You’re the reason why I used to sit in dumpsters and just
hang out, because l when I saw you I was 13 and I thought 'Aww
man, that guy sits inside of a dumpster',” and I thought to myself
'Yeah, I didn’t actually like it, I just did it because I looked cool'.
I thought about it but didn’t say it out loud.
There was something with Veronica. She was probably just one
of the people who passed by or spoke to me. I remember think-
ing Isaac wasn't going to be going to camp. I made that assump-
tion, even though at the same time I realized that I had made the
same assumption last year, and I was surprised when he showed
up, and I was hoping in the back of my mind that that would
happen again. But I was preparing for the idea that it wouldn’t.
Just going over it in my mind. How it happened last time. How
I got on the bus and then he showed up "What are you doing
here? You’re not supposed to be here?!?" "Yeah, I’m coming
along "Cool!" Then I was running over in my head all the things
1211
that happened at camp throughout the years. I felt like there was
more that happened in the church parking lot. I don't know if my
father was there or not. Yeah I was going to get kicked out of the
church. I was acting a certain way that was not allowed... really
messed up at church... and they didn’t like that. Maybe Veronica
liked that... hahaha I don’t know, maybe that's where she came in.
I don’t know what that dumpster thing was though.
“AMPHEETAMINE”
12/27/2014 | 4:52 PM
♫ “Amphetamine... I'll talk to myself." ♫
That's what I heard right as I was waking from my dream—in my

dream. I don’t know what it was. It was sung and not spoken, and
the first e was long.
I forget a lot of what happened just now... but I remember to-

wards the end I had this bag full of spit. Like spat out oatmeal...
or just a bunch of stuff that was fermenting in a little sandwich
bag. So I kept hiding it... and then I was trying to go into a secret
passageway. I was in like this little family shop looking place. I
don't know if it was supposed to be just a house or not. I was try-
ing to access the passageway when no one was looking. And they
found out that I was trying to do that. And they were like "okay
hold on... we'll...something something"... everyone else was leav-
ing the store. All the people I was with. Then I went back and
tried to get into the place. I don't know how to describe it. I can
still see it in my mind...but can't describe it. Yeah...I... so, they
told me to wait for them before going down. But I tried to figure
out how to get into it myself. And there was this weird thing in
the center of the room that I just descended into. So I went down
into a cellar. I didn't want anyone to see what I was doing. So I
hid this bag among the contents of the storage area. So I start-
ed pretending I was looking around for something. But my real
reason for being down there was to hide that. So by the time the
other person who was supposed to lead me around came down...
I had already hid my thing. And I was looking around... looking
1213
for something on the floor to pick up real quick so I could pre-

tend "Oh! Here's what I was looking for!" I don’t think I found
anything by the time they came down, but I continued to look
after they already showed up just to give off that impression. Act-
ing like I left some stuff there a while back. Found a bunch of
weird pieces of stuff... toys... slips of paper. And I was just looking
through it. A weird place.
And that whole "Ampheetamine" part... my dream ended with

that... I woke up right at that part. I woke up hearing that. It was
very strange. Disbodied...
At one point within the dream I was actually playing with dogs,
or they were playing with me. That may have belonged to the pre-
vious dream, but it was very weird to have all these little dogs cir-
cling around me. There was a girl, too, at one point. I forget what
was going on.
“ABANDONED BUILDING”
12/29/2014 | 6:38 AM
The majority of the dream is a blur. I was with Isaac and Flo-
rentin. I saw that they were heading into a creepy, abandoned
building, and in my mind I was thinking how I need to get
inside of there, as it would be funny to pretend I had been there
all along. So when I ran into Isaac and Florentin I would say
"Whoa! What are you guys doing here?" I just thought it was so
funny to go inside and do that.
1215
“HAIR DYE”
12/30/2014 | 5:48 AM
I was at the supermarket and there was that girl who was walking
around. She made some funny joke and said "I don’t know, I'll
have to dye my hair black and get back with you on that." I saw
her from time to time walking around. She was hitting on me.
She was pretty serious. My parents were taking way too long with
the groceries, so I was going to run to the hair dye aisle and come
back. I don’t know if she was serious or joking. I thought she
was joking, so I was going to grab one and find her and walk by
and go "Hey,” and just flirt a little. I think she was by the bin
that has the giant balls in them where you take from the bottom
and throw the ball back in the top. So she was by the toys. But
I had to tell my parents "I’m going to wander off by myself." I
forget what they said, but my mom started flipping out. Not ex-
treme, but very uptight "EXCUSE me? you think you’re just go-
ing to go do that?" and I said "Yeah. I'm going to do that," and
she was trying to get me to stay. "Well... we'll be LEAVING be-
fore long.” “Well then come and find me or I'll find you before
that happens. Chill out." There were apparently these things you
pass where two people see something and without even think-
ing they challenge each other to them. They were set up all over
the place. I don’t know. But I hit a challenge, that as soon as I hit
this button, it was like okay, now turn on a song in your head,
turn on a song as quick as you can and listen to it... something
something. I forget. But it was a song by Brenoritvrezorkre, and
it was a song I remember. The cover art was just like a picture of
this scenery. Me and someone else were racing listening to the
first song. I won though, even though I was so confused by what
was going on. I remember when I was planning to walk up to
1216
that girl, getting ready to go over, but then thought "Ooh, wait..."
and I had a backpack somewhere in the store, and started going
through it, looking for my MP3 player, because I wanted to have
my music with me just in case I wanted to tell her about my mu-
sic, and I couldn’t find my player, so I had to go out to my car and
pull out the CD’s. Apparently I had my own car which was mine,
which was parked in the building, so I went looking around on
the floor to see what CD’s of mine were in there, then I came
back in to look for her. She wasn’t my type of girl, so it was fun-
ny that I was interested. I don’t know. I think she was kind of
a redhead, so she had that redhead looking face... hahaha. Well,
kind of a dark redhead. Not like orangey. I was just bored. Lots of
stuff happened outside of the store, as well, but the dream ended
with a second round of that music quick challenge thing, me sit-
ting there getting through the Brenoritvrezorkre album. But this
time I had the lyrics. They were very bizarre and blasphemous
"Baby Jesus something something something,” like terrible and
gross and mean, hahahaha, only like a minute and a half long.
I do also remember being in some hallway which connected to

a bunch of dormitories. It was night time, it was also in like a
movie theater. It looked like a movie theater hallway but I think
it was just a dormitory. I was standing in the hallway doing weird
poses that were casting shadows. I remember thinking "Every-
one’s going to think I’m gay. Everyones going to think I’m gay,”
because it looked so feminine, but I didn’t feel like stopping just
because of that. Yet everything I did was so self-conscious "Wow,
I’m really acting feminine," and I was invading people's person-
al space, or maybe not. I don’t remember. I don’t think I even
talked to anybody. It was a weird situation, because I was just ly-
ing across the hallway or casting very weird shadows in the hall.
But really I just looked like a weird effeminate man. And at one
point I got in a big fight with my father. But I think someone
else was there also, and something had to do with swimming, so

I think there was like a wet... instructor... something to do with
swimming.
In the final moments I heard something about this teenage girl

who had a birthday party... no... it was a guy... and he had this
famous pop icon, like a teeny bopper pop star, play at his party.
He was so excited about it, saying "Yeah, I wasn’t in the band
anymore, and this was his last show, so he, along with my girl-
friend and my other friend, ended up singing my birthday song
for me." And he was like "That was AWESOME!" and the guy
only played like three songs but it was great. It was like the last
concert this teeny bopper would ever play, and it was at a simple
birthday event which a lot of people didn’t think was a good idea
for him to do. Afterwards he just kind of bowed out.
Said "First you must engage with the stupid world?" and he was
doing something strange on my computer. He was like "the shit-
dom" or something. I forget what he was calling it... looking at
weird pictures... altered photos of him. Half the hair on his head
was light brown or reddish, and he goes “What in the world is
that?" and I said "I was just screwing around with pictures,” and
he asks "where did these backdrops come from?" He thought two
pictures were actually one picture. So I told him to come over
and wait for something, since I wanted to show him something,
and he started trying to read what's on the screen, and I went "No
no no no no no.” “Fine, I'll just wait until this comes on... this
band..." he's just looking at stuff I don’t want him to see. Some
poor writings.
Yeah, I just fell asleep from my rest. This wasn’t supposed to be a

nap, but I fell asleep listening to Moevot, and that really fucked
up my dreams, I swear. The whole dream... my dream... I recall
writing him at one point (Vordb) asking if he was available today,

and he said "No, not today" and I remember thinking "When is
he going to figure out I’m across the world, and when I’m talk-
ing about getting together, I don’t actually know how to make
this possible" and I thought at one point "This is funny that I’m
doing this in my dreams. This will be funny to write down lat-
er." I forget what I was doing at the time though. There were lots
of other things, too. A store... tons of conversations... really fun-
ny ones. But I could hear Moevot playing throughout the whole
dream.
I remember at one point in the dream I was standing out on the

deck, and my mother came out and tried to convince me to give
her a cigarette, and I got really upset with her. There was also an
argument I got into with her, and I was not yelling at her... I was
just pissed at something else unrelated and I was saying "fuck"
an awful lot for a conversation with my mother. We had a weird
conversation about something.
“OVER-CIRCULATED”
12/31/2014 | 5:16 AM
• Everybody turns like an overcirculated something in a bag... and
the one who is truly blind or deaf, is on one side. Then the one who
is actually an idiot is on the other side. All the others are in the mid-
dle. And you can’t tell what’s going on, because no one knows that
the two are doing the same thing, and no one knows that it’s go-
ing on... so the one who really can't sense most things, then the one
who is stupid who can't sense most things, and everyone else in the
middle being insensible, and I’m just sitting here going "What is
going... on?" There's nothing to be said for that. There’s no way to
get it in trouble. There’s no way to direct around... and it’s just a
song "When you're turning like an overcirculated something, you
got something something something." I forget. It didn’t make any
sense. It was like a soulful song. I forget. I don’t know what I’m talk-
ing about. This is not a dream. This was a hypnagogic hallucina-
tion. Deaf and stupid bookends. And everyone in the middle is just
lost without any hope of figuring out their way. I can't figure out
what I’m watching. They can't figure out where they are going. This
is going to be going like this probably until 2016. And... happy new
year by the way.
To elaborate on the previous scene, it was kinda like I was in a gym-

nasium staring down from above at a mob of cheerleaders—sev-
en or eight girls just shuffling around very close together... pretty
hyper...in the middle of the room... and I just see them kinda... it
wasn’t an aerial view. Not so high. Just somewhat above them. And
I was just watching them, and then I heard something being said
about them, and then that turned into a song and I couldn’t con-
tain myself anymore.
1220
Okay, it wasn't candy. It was like currency. A bowl of ‘over-circulat-

ed currency’. I don’t know.
“ANITA HIDING”
12/31/2014 | 3:33 PM
At the end I was sitting on the couch trying to complete some
project with M. And I kept being on the lookout every time
someone came in, because I had Anita with me, and she was un-
derneath the blankets. And I don’t know what was going on.
There must have been another me or something, because I was
down there with her while I was poking out of the blankets. I
don’t think she was in there by herself, bored. I don’t know. But
everytime someone came in I would be looking around. ‘Cause
guards sometimes came around and checked. I was listening to
some kind of compilation I made myself, and a lot of songs that
never got released to MP3 file. One was about catnapping or
something. Yeah, but I remember thinking the album wasn’t very
good. "Huh, this is kinda embarrassing." But it was cool listening
to them ‘cause they were new to me. But they just weren’t that
good.
Something about Anita's eyes. People kept getting into trouble

for different things. Kinda a freaky place. There was also a place
like a gift shop. And there was a part at my grandparents house
where I was looking at a calendar. There was another person
looking at it with me and I threw a bit of a fuss about something.
We were all sitting down at a table. I was supposed to sit at the
end of it near the corner, but I didn’t want to sit there after all,
even though I chose the seat myself, for a specific reason. Once
I got over there I didn’t want to stay, ‘cause I realized I would be
stuck and not able to easily walk out. I was hiding Anita under
the blanket. I remember at one point after a while of listening
to music I just started doing tasks. I was like "You know this is
1222
my stuff, my album..." stuff like that. “It’s not my favorite. I don’t

even like the songs, but it’s kinda a compilation of something
something.”
“NATIONAL ANTHEM”
01/01/2015
I was running through the town at night singing the national
anthem in a crazy vibrato while following those cars. It was a
psychotic scene. My singing was so loud and unhinged. It was
supposed to be ironic somehow. Then, while running back I al-
most got hit by that truck which was coming out of the inter-
section at an odd angle (on Londonberry) and it was apparent-
ly my teenage neighbor who was driving. At the time I remem-
ber thinking "The first time the world hears my voice I’m singing
the fucking national anthem? WHA?" I thought I was celebrat-
ing the new year, but at the same time I’m pretty sure I started
out by singing “We Three Kings.”
By the time I returned to the house everyone else was gone.
Before that there was a party involving dad's work friends. And
at one point I was in Alex’s kitchen... speaking with a man about
renovations and helping out with things.
Yana? Came in and was blind. Her arms fell off into the pool be-
hind us. I made my friend go dive down and get them, as I held
her. I was sitting on a bench, staring at something ahead of me
on a wall, when she and a guy came in at our left side and I was a
little bit awed. Then, when she came in, they sat down right next
to me. (well, not the guy, he sat somewhere else)... but her head
was going back and forth because she was blind... in a very real-
istic way despite how I’ve described it... don’t remember how her
arms detached and fell... but they did... she was waving them or
holding them high or something and they fell off and into the
pool behind us. I remember watching them sink to the floor.
1225
Something about going invisible and starting fights between dif-

ferent men. Alien girlfriend wrapped in swaddling blankets?
(no?)
“THEATRE TROUPE”
01/01/2015
A theater troupe showed up in my area and they were casting.
I really wanted to go audition, so I went and spoke with them.
"I’d like to join." They thought about it but none of the parts
were standing out to them as parts I could play. They just didn’t
think I resembled any of the parts. "I could do this one,” and they
would go "Huhhhhhh," it just wasn’t anything like me. And they
had so many characters though, ‘cause it was supposed to be a
drama... just a realistic life drama, and none of them were like me.
It was weird. I just remember later on they left on a big tour-bus
like vehicle, and I was just like wistfully staring out the window
as I didn’t feel I got accepted and was upset. And there were these
girls on the bus. I had them act as informants and tell me if any-
one overheard anyone talking about me. And one girl said "Oh,
I heard someone say something about you.” I don’t think it was
anything significant. But I was still happy about it, because it was
after they left.
1227
“DEMON BEE”
01/03/2015
I was in the mall. It may have been after closing, and I think
that every time I went into a store, everyone within the store
would disappear or it would close—every time I went inside, or
was about to go inside. At one point I was in a different location
which was not the mall. I don’t remember what it was, but there
was this giant demon bee that suddenly appeared in the room,
and it freaked me out. It was probably about three and half inch-
es in diameter, I would say, and it was big and thick and black
and it was freaky. It made me nervous.
“What is this!?! What just came in here!? What am I looking

at?"
I felt embarrassed as I kept ducking from it. I was embarrassed

because it was a bee, and I didn’t know how to respond to it, but I
realized everyone would look at me wondering why I wasn't okay
with it, since it was a bee, but it was scaring me, and it was em-
barrassing.
1228
“KAIJU”
01/03/2015 | 5:06 PM
I was in the city and there was a huge monster—maybe a hun-

dred feet tall. It just came in and began destroying the city and
I remember when it was approaching. The weird part is I’m try-
ing to remember what my relationship was with the monster, be-
cause I remember thinking ‘Oh no...’ but then I also remember
feeling I was in control of it... like it was my girlfriend... hahaha.
Like she didn’t have complete control of herself, and I was hop-
ing she would stop at the right time and only destroy a few spe-
cific buildings but stop before destroying the buildings that were
important to the town. It was a strange little town in that it al-
most felt like a model. I think that’s what happened. I can't re-
ally tell the difference between the girl I was with and the mon-
ster who was destroying the town. And then later on I remem-
ber walking... the world was pretty huge... I was walking down
the bridge... and I think I got a call from Mark where he said he
wanted to hang out. And I remember thinking ‘Should I take... a
nap first?’ because I was pretty tired after all.
1229
“I, MANDY”
01/04/2015
• Yeah... I, Mandy... am going to leave MY mail... in someone else’s
mailbox... I, MANDY... am going to leave my mail... in his mail-
box...
1230
“PERSPECTIVE”
01/04/2015
Tons of weird stuff in the dream I just had on the topic of per-
spective. Like I would be looking at something... not knowing if
it changed... like the same thing as “Rich Grape Gut”... someone
would ask me what I thought of it, and I would say "Well, I've
only looked at it from one angle so far,” and I’d give different ex-
planations...
1231
“COPS HAVE BEEN CALLED”
01/04/2015 | 5:34 PM
I was at this party, and there was this girl who seemed a bit too
young for me by... like ten years (assuming I was 25, though I
might have been a teenager, as implied by my house), and I re-
call sleeping in my room. At one point I got up and went to the
laundry room, and I spent a good portion of the dream looking
for the right clothes to wear, because we were throwing a party
for her upstairs. She was kind of my girlfriend. Perhaps not a girl-
friend, per se. I felt indebted to her... like, I could not... I don’t
know. I just know that a bunch of people were having a party up-
stairs and she wanted me to meet her friends. I was sleeping a
bit and woke up and looked for the right shirt to wear, but after
all that searching I picked something really plain. I don’t know
what I did for her as a gift. Something really strange, but really
simple. Maybe it wasn’t her gift. It was more like an IOU, like
me saying "I'll give it to you later." I just remember going upstairs
for a little bit but then coming down and I think I fell asleep
again...after trying to change into different clothes again... and
she came downstairs and had a rough time with something so
I was helping her out... and then the cops showed up. And she
said "They'll be coming down here in a few minutes to check out
something because of a complaint they received,” and that real-
ly woke up "WHAT?" That was very upsetting. And so we just
spent as much time as we could with each other until the cops
came around and made her leave. I remember there were a bunch
of parents there too because of something that happened. I was
trying to be overly nice with them... and we were all laughing and
joking around with each other for a little while. I was even jok-
ing around with the cops and had them laughing... I think I even
1232
dressed up in a fake cop uniform real quick before they showed

up. I remember hanging posters... or just looking at things all
over my ceiling... when I was looking for something to give her.
But then I remember... like most of the dream happened when
I was in this room... or the laundry room next to this room...
so it was in this house... but later on it was in Londonberry... I
remember the parents, cops and girl leaving through the sliding
glass door at londonberry... and I was being so kind, so polite,
saying "Well, thank you very much, have a great time!" and I was
like saying bible verses. Think some of them were Christians. So
I was like "Jesus something something!" or "Jesus blesses those
who something something!" It was so fake but VERY believable.
I was very good at putting on the act... and then I remember
when some parents walked out the door and were being really
nice to me back. I remember a couple parents returned to the
door... and just staring... and I was wondering why they were do-
ing that. Apparently they wanted to have a private talk with me
about something (or someone else who was here), so they were
waiting for the other parents to leave. So I let them back in "Hel-
lo!"... just feeling awkward because I didn’t expect them to come
back in. I don’t know what happened... I still don’t know exactly
what was going on. I just kept feeling like "Oh no, what to do...
what to give her,” I don’t know what her friends were doing up-
stairs... but it all sounded pretty stupid. They were going crazy.
“SHE’S STILL HERE”
01/05/2015 | 9:37 AM
I was in a small apartment with a girl. I don’t remember much
about what we did or said to each other, but I remember when
we went to bed. I remember just lying in bed talking. We had so
much fun just talking together. God, I wish I remembered more
details. I just remember that I went to shower or something late
at night, or still had something to accomplish, but she was go-
ing to bed, and I remember coming back later after accomplish-
ing what I did, and I looked in the bed and she was still there,
and I remember walking around the bed, looking at her from all
angles... hahahaha, well I could only see some of her head pop-
ping out from the blankets... ‘cause she had the blankets over
her pretty good... but I still remember thinking ‘Wow, she's still
here... she didn’t disappear... she's still lying there... in my bed...’ I
was so... I can't explain what I felt. So elated. And I was just ly-
ing in bed, and once in a while I would say something... and
sometimes she was still asleep and didn’t hear me... but some-
times she would answer back... I remember it quite vividly. I just
wish I could remember the particulars of our conversation. I’m
pretty sure we went somewhere earlier in the dream... or maybe
just hung around the building. Yeah... and I had another dream I
could remember where I was at some place... and a lot of people
were driving up in cars... like all the church people were coming
back. A reunion of people I haven't seen in 10 years... like sam,
stephanie... it was weird. Just people I hadn't seen in so long. I
think I talked to Sam some... other than that, I just felt kind of
ehhh. I wasn’t too interested. They kind of had their own things
they were talking about and I didn’t care too much. I’m not sure
if this was the same dream as the one with the girl... or not.
1234
“DRUMS IN THE BASEMENT”
01/05/2015 | 4:42 PM
The girl who I was with... something about liking something
black. This was when she was talking about The Jungle Book.
Then there was that pancake stack when I went lucid... then I was
in the stairwell... and my mother when she came over to me and
I cursed her out. And she said "Watch yourself," and I said "Sor-
ry, just still pissed off at you because of the dream I just had," and
she said something about Morrissey and I said "Morissey too!?!?"
and she something else... "Wanna mix them up... and dot dot
dot?" and I said "What?!?" "Wanna mix them up and dot dot
dot?" "What are you talking about!?" "Wanna take some pieces...
get some milk... mix them up... something like that.” "That's a
weird way to put it.” She had two glasses in front of her... on-
ly 1/3 full... of milk... with these little peppermint sprinkles in
it... I remember being downstairs in the basement. I remember
my dad was in the bathroom. Next thing I know, he was down-
stairs beating on the drumset in the dark... with another guy on
bass... or guitar... and at first I didn’t even know he was in the
basement, I thought he was still in the bathroom, and I thought
he was trying to be funny... like the drum sounds were supposed
to be his intestinal/colonic noises... I thought "WHAT THE
HELL IS GOING ON IN THERE?" Until I found out. Then
I went down there and all that problem started to happen. Then
I think he went upstairs and... wait... what was I saying... I don’t
remember who I was talking to when this all happened. Possibly
Jeiezza. Then there was that time I was driving down the road.
And I think I sped through the intersection, and I heard the cop
siren going off... and I wasn’t able to stop. And since my father
worked for a company like Sony... or something like that... I don’t
1235
know. No idea. But yeah... okay so I was on the stairs... and then I
looked up... and grandparents and Uncle Jamie was... and I could
have sworn someone opened a window above... up and to the
left... (FALLING ASLEEP. UNINTELLIGIBLE)
• And then there’s this guy saying "Most men our age take some-
thing something," and I thought "What? That’s irrelevant to me.”
(Hypnagogic) Or he went over to my mannequin and tried to show
me why I needed something. (SLEEP TALKING... part about
runaway... where I’m walking through shooting people).
I forget how it all happened, because I fell back asleep, but I

was at the bottom of the stairwell, and my father started peeking
in my bedroom, and so I yelled "WHAT THE FUCK? Get
OUT!" and I got really mad at him. Shooing everyone away be-
cause they were too close to my bedroom. There were a bunch
of kids playing nearby, too (in the basement), which really frus-
trated me and made me tense. And I just remember one of their
parents—this woman—she comes down, quickly walks into my
room, and shuts my door behind her. So I walked inside and
shouted "WHAT THE FUCK? GET OUT OF MY ROOM!”
And then I asked her a question "WHAT... ARE YOU SOME-
THING SOMETHING? GET OUT!" Speaking to her like a
dog. So I shooed her out of my room. She then took her child
and went home. I think she was worried. People were worried
about what I might have in my room, so I sent them all home.
I remember going lucid at some point. I was staring at a pancake

stack, and I thought "Well, that's weird," as it kept appearing then
disappearing, over and over again, and I was just... staring at the
pancakes, thinking ‘Whoa... lucid... pancake stack.’
“DRIVING”
01/06/2015 | 5:44 PM
Many dreams tonight. There was one dream that had some sort
of cat in it. Some little animal that was following me around, and
then there was something really strange about it. It was very...
aware? It had its own personality. I don’t know.
The last dream I had right before I woke up: I called a friend and
his mother picked up... and she asked me a very weird question
before handing the phone off to him... something sort of insult-
ing... but then she gave it to him, and I heard him in the back-
ground, he was kind of tired. So I talked to him for a few minutes
but then the topic came up about what his mother just said to
me... and it wasn’t favorable at all... I don’t know why. I said "That
doesn't make sense to me. I was as courteous as could be.” Before
that, in the previous part of the dream, I remember being in a
car, riding with some people. They looked like they were from...
like a soap opera. We were riding with five or so people earlier...
and now those others went away, and it was just me and anoth-
er two people who were supposedly close friends of mine... and I
said "Yeah, I would have felt weird riding with those other peo-
ple... since they're actors,” then I took a look at the people next to
me and said "Waiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit... you guys are actors!"... "Uh huh, of
course." I hadn't stopped to consider that these guys were actors
too... because they were my best friends apparently. They were in
the backseat. I was in the shotgun seat. For a while I was going
around my room packing ‘cause I planned on going to a place like
an hour a way... There was just so much stuff to pack. Looking
for headphones... some kind of snack. What was the deal with
that damn cat? That was like... in the first dream I had... I don’t
1237
know if it was a cat or not. But when I woke up I just saw a pic
of a cat randomly... and it recharged my memory... but that may
not have been it... There was some little animal... and it was very...
like I said... it acted like it understood everything that was go-
ing on. So many weird dreams tonight I don’t even know. I think
when I was driving in the car... there was something to do with
the prom... like going to the prom... I don’t know.
“GIANT CREATURES”
01/09/2015 | 6:21 PM
There were giant animals within the forest. I was worried about
them because they were beginning to thrash around into the
trees and the trees were very close together; but someone said
"Don't worry. If you’re familiar with this place, the trees are not
built the same as they are built in residential areas as they are
built in the forest." I don’t know exactly what he was saying about
the trees, but after saying it two times I figured he meant that
they were sturdier.
I don’t remember what animals they were. I believe there were

two. Me and three other guys saw something walk through the
woods, ran over to look at them and flinched. It wasn’t that it was
hideous. It was just giant. But after we spotted the first one, I re-
member spotting another one further back in the woods, which
was a different kind, and I liked more. We were nervous about
the trees getting thrashed and falling on houses. But I remember
being in a class explaining something to Mike, and I made a com-
ment about collecting. But it was weird because then I got inter-
rupted, and he walked over to the other end of the room, maybe
because of the animal, then later on we resumed RIGHT from
where we left off. I had a really strange explanation about why
I stopped doing something—the Whole ‘Buy and sell’ thing.
Something sort of sad about how I was buying everything just to
get rid of it. I don’t know.
1239
“X-RAY SNAKES”
01/10/2015 | 6:12 PM
There were snakes on people. I was using some weird x-rays to
look at them. I was using some kind of weird... synchronize a fre-
quency with them to expel them. Then I went to the woods and
someone else was doing it too and I wasn’t allowed to... we had
too many snakes...so it was a problem.
I was going around and doing something strange with brain-

waves... synchronizing something. There were these schematics/
images of snakes and I would sync something with it, and the
snake would vanish. I was exterminating them with this strange
power. Then I went to a wooded area and someone else was do-
ing it and they tried to get rid of me. And I couldn’t do it since
they were doing it there. It was a really strange power.
1240
“NEW JERSEY”
01/10/2015 | 6:28 PM
I was in this little room in New Jersey. I had jumped in a car with-
out thinking with maybe three other people and went to New
Jersey, and I remember thinking ‘WHAT THE FUCK DID I
JUST DO?’ I didn’t even think about it when I okayed it. Then
I saw the state sign. We l started passing familiar stores, and it
was weird. They might not have been real stores in reality, but I
thought "Whoa! I remember it!" The chains...
Did I give flowers to that girl? I don’t know. There was a girl, but
I don’t know if we had any relationship at all. I remember us all
sitting on a couch in this one little building. We were all kind of
lying down. I remember I kept going to the bathroom and ad-
justing my purple hat. It was blue on the inside and purple on the
outside and I kept flipping it inside-out over and over again, and
then back again, because everything was changing.
Then I had these things in my pocket. What was I doing!?!?

They were like these little weird male-female connectors which
I think I stole from a television or something. Very very small.
But I didn’t know which end was which, and I lost one, and it
was VERY very important to me. I don’t know why. But I think
it had something to do with the girl... like I needed it if I wanted
to be with her. Someone gave them to me. But then I lost one. So
I went into the guy’s room and started crawling around on the
floor looking to see if he had any of his own. Three people were
airing on the couch. The girl, an Asian guy, and someone else.
I do remember at one point being on a couch or bed with that

girl. I think when we were staying overnight. I think it was the
1241
night before we left for New Jersey. We were under the covers. I
don't know what was going on and I'm pretty sure we were par-
tially clothed at least, but I remember her... feeling about. Maybe
we both were, I don’t know; but she had her hand pretty low on
my body, and it got me nervous, and it was after that that I went
to that guy and got the connectors. I got two of them. I know
that the first one was a male-to-female connector, but I got two,
and they were different. I was just so confused, and I didn’t know
what she was going to say.
“DARK GROUP”
01/11/2015 | 6:02 AM
Some weird sleepwalking going on... where ... there was a spot to
feel... where you would be in charge over a certain group of in-
dividuals...among a certain other group of individuals... a weird
dark group. I don’t know what I mean by dark... but it just felt
dark... like they weren’t happy smiley persons... if that’s what I
mean I don’t know... but no one volunteered for a while, so I fi-
nally did it myself... and people mocked and laughed at the idea
of someone overseeing them...then I just accepted it... it wasn't in
person. But it wasn’t online. But it felt more electronic than in
person. There was this group within group within group with-
in group of people... and I kept looking around... and I was in
charge of all of it, to some extent. Well I was in charge over the
one group, but I did have an effect on most of the others due
to association. So many people, and so dark and negative. Bare-
ly anyone saying anything... but when someone said something it
would just be really weird and...negative. I don’t know.
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“SAGHABRAZE”
01/15/2015
“Defeating seasons every rain and Saghabraze is down the lane.”
I was grocery shopping in Walmart. Right at the end when I ac-

cidentally got really drunk in the walmart.
Then there was the part where we were leaving that one camp-
ground because the cop was coming there, and he was giving
people lots of rules. There was a dog around and he was giving
people rules about how to leave their food, and even rearranging
their cars so that their music was. So me, my father and sister
were just like "Okay, let’s go back," (mother wasn’t there) because
it wasn’t any fun.
Then we went to Walmart, I guess. I think my mother may have

been here. But I took off right away, don’t know what I was do-
ing. Remember at the end I went into the wine aisle and started
drinking some of the wine. Then I walked over to the edge of the
aisle, and a girl I knew from earlier in the dream apparently I saw
again and I started whispering to her "Hey... hey,” and she was
not playing along with my whispers. And I was trying to tell her
something, like "I'll soon reveal to you what..." and she saw that
something was very wrong with my physical appearance, like that
I was wearing a wig, or when my hood slipped up a little bit she
could see something else was fake, and she asks:
“Wait... who are you? Is your hair fake, or is your name fake?"
"Both...”
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I was trying to be ‘enticing’ to her, but she was getting loud and
causing somewhat of a scene (I was dressed as Dean), and I re-
member in the end I wound up stomping away after saying some-
thing to her "I’ll tell you right now, I’m not going to have any
friends who think they have ownership over me,” but what I said
was a little more poetic.
But then my mother was trying to get me to come back to help

her finish off, so I went stomping off. "IF I HAVE FRIENDS
THEY WILL NOT THINK THEY RULE OVER ME." I was
acting like I was talking to my mother, but I was talking loud
enough so that people could overhear me, and she goes "CHILL
OUT, YOU ALREADY SAID THAT!" so it was embarrassing
her and making her uncomfortable, but I was really attracted to
that girl so it pisses me off that she was so annoying, hahaha. I
was trying to walk up to her and go:
Me, whispering: Hey, I will soon be showing you a secret I never

showed...”
Her, shouting: WHAT? WHAT ARE YOU TALKING

ABOUT? OH MY GOD, ARE YOU THAT GUY?"
Me, whispering: “No... shhh. I just wanted to tell you that I will
soon be shar..."
Her, shouting: “WHAT? IS THAT A WIG? WAIT..."
It was very, very annoying.
Then at the end my mother and sister met up with my father and
sister in an aisle. There were broken objects all over the floor. I
look at Asia and she looks like she’s crying and I say "Did you
just break all this stuff !?!" and she just casually goes "No.” She
was acting like she drank some stuff, too. I was feeling drunker
and drunker. I just remember walking through the aisles and the
stockers were walking by. Florentin was there at one point. That
might have been two dreams ago.
I feel like some outbreak happened in this place and all these evil
things got in. Like these things broke into this building. This of-
fice building, sorta. I have no idea. But I think Flor was there...
and he possibly held on to me because of something... or I held
onto him... and it was weird and awkward. I don’t know. Yeah,
but when I picked up my camera... that thing about Saghabraze.
I don’t know what that was. I was hearing that as I was waking
up. Pulling up little pieces of paper that each said something dif-
ferent. And right as I was waking up that’s the one I pulled, and
I thought "NO WAY!! SAGHABRAZE!" (The name of the evil
cosmic dragon in a story I wrote as a young child).
“BLOOD AND NONSENSE”
01/15/2015 | 5:04 PM
I think I remember posing for some picture that wasn’t meant
for me, and I remember something else was going to be moving
into... geez, I don’t remember. I was looking at those pictures lat-
er, and I was thinking ‘Are these real photographs? Is this the per-
son?’ But then hours later I had pictures taken of myself that were
like the ones from before. The guy was covered with blood, but
it looked cool, very artistic. I also remember seeing a commercial
for pizza. I might have ordered it, too. There was something very
unusual that happened along the way and I remember that I re-
ally wanted to fall asleep... from before, because there was some-
thing I was trying to escape from?
“Wait a second... so are you going to assess the Alpacas?”
“The what?”
“The Alpacas.”
“Okay, I guess.”
Then I'm just standing in this weird, arid terrain, waiting for
them to come over to me while thinking ‘What are they doing?
What are they going to make me do? ALPACAS?’
"So, like, you were dancing for a whole forty minutes. Do you
really like to dance?" Then you can see the manager standing
behind the other person in the dark, kinda dancing and acting
weird too. It was really strange looking, ‘cause the guy was just
supposed to be signing autographs, and he was just going crazy
standing in place. And the girl, about two-thirds into the sign-
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ing, got really emotional and took off running, like he did some-
thing that was really disturbing... like she walks up, hands him
the paper, waiting for an autograph, but he just stands there and
then starts dancing. That's what happened. It was just weird. I
guess that's not what she liked him for. But what was funny was
that when he kept going, the other guy behind him began doing
it.
I remember sitting in a church pew and there was that guy who...
there was that part where there was a huge group of overweight
girls who came walking through... and I moved back so they
could get through, but then afterwards I didn’t really have any
place to sit... and I didn’t really want to sit next to them, I don’t
know... I was sitting next... It was a guy who I knew I was sitting
with earlier. I think I did some work with him earlier. But I
got spooked out by him apparently and decided to stop working
with him. But now I was sitting next to him again in this place...
he had a kinda foreign accent... he was fair skinned, but kinda
foreign. Mid-thirties, I guess. And I just remember at one point...
he climbed up into the church ceiling right above us... so i'm
sitting there below... while he was up there, and his feet were
dangling, and he was talking SO loud while the church service
was going on, like "HEY. WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT
THIS ARTIST? WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT THIS?
MAN, I GOT THIS BOOK AT HOME, AND INSIDE IT’S
GOT THESE PICTURES THAT ARE LIKE THIS AND
THIS AND THIS AND THIS AND THIS.” and he just kept
going on and on, having a discussion with me, and I responded
"Huh!" "Ohkay!" "Hmm." Responses that were so quick that no
one would realize I was saying anything at all in the conversa-
tion. Because it was so rude... because we were being so loud...
interrupting the service. At the same time I wasn’t really saying
anything...like "I don’t like art or anything, but I got this book
with this artist in it and he's got some stuff that are like this and
this and this,” then he asked "Have you ever heard of him?" "No.”
“Well if you opened up a book of art you would recognize who
I’m talking about right away.” "Yeah... I would... probably..."
• Well, that was mean. My dad walks into the kitchen and he's
just chewing food, and my mom’s like "ARE YOU DOING SOME-
THING SOMETHING PLAYFUL?" but the way she said it...
the ‘playful’ was referring to something else... might have been
PLATEFUL. And I was just sitting there thinking ‘Aww geez, that
was mean.’
• I'm just walking through the kitchen and I see my mother picking
up these little earplugs and she looks at me, goes "Hmm," and shrugs
before she opens up the dishwasher and throws them in. "WHY
DID YOU PUT THEM IN THERE?" and I forget what she said,
it was kinda witty, but then I said something funny back "They're
ruined... something something," then she shrugs "They were dirty.” I
don’t know. Just earbuds.
• So the dude with muscles came running down the stairs fast just
to give the bird a kiss before they put it away... it was like an actor...
a lot of muscles too. He really wanted to give the bird a kiss. Bird
was just sitting downstairs. And he went running down really fast
when they saw that some woman I guess was taking the bird away.
• Guys looking at a poster and goes "Touché! The battle of the North
begins way something something with these guys.”
“PASSWORD”
01/16/2015 | 5:14 AM
Man, my friend got set on fire and he was just like "Fuck it.” His
mouth got set on fire and he just kept going and didn’t care to
put it out, and I thought ‘Should I put it out? Is this going to set
the entire forest on fire?’ This all took place in that room with that
weird kid who was screaming. We had to give a weird password
when we walked into the room. "Thorough something... thor-
ough something.” He was dressed as a bear and he somehow end-
ed up taking his helmet off and was trying to get to the door.
This was after that other weird room with other giant animals'
heads. This was after we walked up the stairs; we walked down
the hallway and the guy asked us to turn down the music, and
I thought ‘Wait... is there any music?’ and I tried to open up the
wrong door, and there were two guys having a meeting like right
in front of the door, and when I tried pushing open the door I
saw through it and I heard one guy go "Is someone trying to get
in?" and I go "Ahh... ohh. Oops."
And so I ran up the stairs real quick through the halls of this
school-like building, and I was just following this guy around. I
didn’t know where I was. I don’t know who he was, but I fol-
lowed him around on a task or something. It was just me and
a bunch of guys walking around doing weird things in what I
presume to have been a school. But it was really creepy. Strange
things are going on all over the place.
So we were going down some corridor which was really dirty,

but they didn’t need something so, we were on our way back and
this guy came walking past us and said "Can you ask them to
turn down their music again?" I just said that really quietly, then
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added "Thanks,” and I thought ‘There’s no music...’ but then I real-

ly listened, and I could hear people screaming in the background,
and thought ‘WHAT IS THAT?’ It was terrifying.
But what the hell else happened? What did we do before that?
because we were upstairs with everyone, but then we went down-
stairs and did all that...*
“THE CONCERT THAT
WASN’T”
01/16/2015 | 6:21 PM
That was weird. I was going to drive a couple hours away to see a
concert with my father, but there were so many issues with that.
First of all, the concert time got screwed up, so now it was going
to be like ninety-noun hours instead of three hours, so I was wor-
ried it would conflict with my nap schedule. And I was worried
about having to ride over with a weird Egyptian thing in my lap. I
had to sleep with something weird in my lap, or nearby, and I just
remember going to the bathroom at the place, and I had all the
faucets running, and I was wiping the toilets down. I was waiting
for the black metal bands. All of them were black metal bands
playing. But the band I wanted to see most wouldn’t be playing
after all. it turns out, because of some sudden equipment issue.
And then I was like "Wait, where’s my hat!?!?'' We were all sitting
at tables. Like an eatery. And I asked "Should I turn around in
my seat?" and my dad said "Yeah, that makes sense." "But I don’t
want to something something." I remember earlier in the day be-
fore leaving I went "Oh my god, I ate coleslaw. Now I’m going to
get a stomach ache or something weird. That was stupid of me."
There were just a lot of worries; and I thought "I really want to
go, but I really don’t think I’m going to be able to. I just don’t see
it.”
Before I forget, I just wanted to add that one of the weirdest

parts of that dream is that it’s hard to tell if I actually ever went
to the concert to begin with, because I was there for a very long
time, but at the very end I was back here trying to figure out how
I would possibly be able to go like "How would I ever be able to
1252
get in the car and do all this?" It was very odd; as if to say that the
whole thing was imagined; the whole event; even though I was
there for a while, using the bathroom, sitting in my chair. It was
very vivid. Imagining all that could go wrong.
“WAITING ROOM”
01/17/2015
Doctor’s office or something... maybe not... something like that.
Really attractive hispanic girl. She was sitting on the couch with
her brother or someone, and I just totally went over on the couch
and sat nearby her. One person was sitting between her. At first
I sat on the opposite couch but those guys were really (?). So
I asked "You guys want to trade seats?" They did. "Awesome,
you rock, thanks." So I ended up on the other end of the per-
son who was next to her. I could have sat there in the beginning
but didn’t want to make it that conspicuous. But then I thought
we could talk now. But she was falling asleep. Her head flipped
back and she started to fall asleep. If I did something stupid she
would wake up a little bit... open her eyes dazedly... that sucked. I
walked up right after that guy walked into the room "Isn’t anyone
sitting here?" and I went running across the room "ME ME ME
ME ME ME ME." ‘Cause I went and took a walk on the other
side of the room and peeked through the door, to see how many
people were in line now, since there were two waiting rooms...
I don’t remember much at all from the dream. But I was in sev-
eral places during it. It was very long. And before I went into
this second waiting room I was in a completely different one
next door. I remember going. I remember going outside and just
standing there, and like a wave of power rangers just came up/
passed by... it was just bizarre... There were like multiples of each
color... and then there was this woman who was standing there
and started laughing at me about her bra... about how it was un-
comfortable... because of her body type. And I let loose some
very uncomfortable laughter... but I thought ‘What the hell is
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she talking about!? WHAT THE FUCK!?!?!?’ I remember when

I went to start class or something later... I don’t know if that’s
what it was... but I think I asked some people "Did you ever see a
bunch of power rangers come into something? That's a weeeeird
scene to see,” or something asked specifically if I ever saw power
rangers walk and I said "Yeah... just saw like 30 of them walk
through the DMV" (I don’t know if it was a DMV though). That
girl was sleeping though... I wish she would have woken up. She
was really attractive, and often when I would say something she
would open her eyes in a daze and then fall back into sleep again.
“ROMAN GREEK STATUE
HEAD”
01/31/2015 | 6:12 PM
• Something about ‘lizardom’. "You know how agitated I am?" This
guy's like a fuckin’ Roman-Greek statue head. He's talking to me,
too. He has some crazy name. He was freaking out, “Do you know
how agitated I am!?!"
• I was running upstairs from a fucking blue fireball. There was a

king and queen standing there, and the clothes they were wearing
were crazy and huge, but they were dead. They had skulls for faces.
They were just standing there. Then I came running up, and stopped
short, and the fireball went up my butt... not up my butt, but into
it... because I stopped to see the king and queen. That's weird, you
know? That's weird.
• It means like ‘new moon’ or something. It can also mean ‘new

wings’. That guy was staring at me, though... I was blocking the
road. I think —— saw what was going on. I think he meant
——... Wait, what am I talking about?
• Ahh... he's a clown. He grew to something something before dying

in 1996. What's with all these fucking biographies? ... biographical
... little things. Yeah, but he was a clown.
Slightly weird, slightly kinky stuff at the end where we were tying
up the women in the upper dungeon. We brought them to this
place just to be tied up again. Very weird. Then there was also
that giant chinese dragon that was in my Pine Hill living room
we had to fight. And I had to set something on fire to kill it, and
I did it, then I sent someone to go get the firetruck, but then sent
1256
someone else to get the hose downstairs just in case... but then
when I sent them I thought "Wait...this is my —— isn't it... All
this stuff is just going ——."
And who was I with? Another guy who was sort of competing
with me. We competed with each other. Yeah, I was in the mall
earlier, walking around. With my father... I remember walking
through a crowd with him, and some people were throwing
things in the air... and my mom went back in the car and had a
weird response. Not worried at all. "Ahh, I'll be in the car... be
back in ten minutes,” and we already told her we were on our
way to do something which was obviously going to take longer
than ten minutes, and I wasn’t even going to bother restating it,
so I was just sarcastically "Uh huh, yeah. You go ahead." So then
we walked through the crowd, and kept getting caught up in it...
they kept trying to start conversations with us... I don’t remem-
ber what happened, but we got separated... and I went through...
I forget exactly what we set out to do in the first place. Yeah
but we had these girls tied up. They were being cooperative. It
was kind of weird. We took them to the place up top to get be-
headed... or something really weird like that. I remember think-
ing ‘Wait...we took them here... up top...’ It’s like we were trying to
rescue them, but up top just a little cell, but then when we went
to the top I saw all the torture devices and I was like "What the
hell is this?" I didn’t really understand it, but I don’t know if I
was the main character or not. Like I don’t know if that guy was
me... because I felt like I was watching from a weird place... and I
don’t know all that shit about a weird chinese dragon awakening.
And then there was one part when I was in my room... this cur-
rent bedroom... with a friend, and I was talking about this guy he
knew... and about how we could all be in a band. I was trying to
use him to get some other guy who I knew who was in a band.
But he was taking SO long. So I'm in my bedroom. He would go
for a minute, saying he would be a minute, then 30 or 40 min-

utes would pass. Drive me nuts. I remember a GIANT burst of
light burst through the door. I thought some people were in the
workroom. I thought WHAT THE HELL IS THAT? It’s right
when I turned on some metal music. A band called ‘Life’. As sim-
ple as that. I just remember seeing a burst of life coming through
the door... from the laundry room... and I was so confused. But
then he came back pouting. He went and sat on the couch. And
it’s weird ‘cause I felt like I was the one carrying on the conversa-
tion. He went and laid on the couch... while I turned on some... I
think we were supposed to be taking nap time... like we both re-
quired it... which was kinda weird. But I think his was a different
kind. Not as forgiving. So he laid down and turned on some mu-
sic videos on the tv... okay maybe his were more forgiving... mu-
sic videos that I did in the past I think... then I remember talk-
ing and asking questions and he just had a "Yeahhhhh, haahha,”
not really into what I was saying since he was trying to sleep...
and I remember thinking about Staff while I was falling asleep
like ‘Geez... Staff could have been something if we would have just
released a split album... or focused our attention on one direction
instead of everything at once.’ trying to remember what that stuff
was with Asia at the end of the house. When I was going to light
the fire on all the curtains. The curtains were attached to the chi-
nese dragon... it was like the final thing to do... but I needed to
set all these curtains on fire, which were attached to it... but then
I thought "Oh no. These are not going to contain themselves,"
and I worried while lighting them that this would spread into my
room. So while a giant dragon came to life and tried to kill us
all, I was worried this fire would spread to my room. So yeah, I
burned all the curtains. Sent them to get the hose, and they never
came back because I woke up, but right after I sent them out, an-
other person walked in, like Asia or someone else, I go "Aw man,
I already did all of these... so I guess I don’t need a hose," but that
other person didn’t hear me and was already running on their
way to get it even though I managed to put out most of the fire
by myself. It just wasn’t awakening, and I was surprised. It was
burning like paper. It was burning but the fire wouldn’t spread...
so I had to keep lighting it over and over and over again.
Yeah really not sure about what all that stuff was... guess that
was after the other part... where we were trudging through a gi-
ant dungeon... descending levels... I don’t remember where we
met the girls... but they were like dangerous... and we had them
chained up. I don’t know why I said it was kinky earlier, ‘cause it
really wasn’t. I think I just meant that they were in chains as well
as attractive, so that’s probably what I meant, hahahha. Yeah, it
was just torture... at the top they were just going to be killed. And
I thought that was really extreme, ‘cause I thought they were go-
ing to be released after being brought to the top. So I don’t know
why we put them in chains and ushered them up there just to tie
them down... My language was coming out really goofy at one
point.
At the end, when taking them to the top, there was some joke
about black men. I don’t remember what it was, but it was like
the joke of the difference between us taking them up there and
some black men taking them up there to the top. I wasn’t the one
who made the joke, and I remember that I couldn’t figure out if
it was offensive or simply nonsensical but I just couldn’t under-
stand why they felt the need to make such a questionable joke. I
think they were trying to lighten the mood maybe as a distrac-
tion and it was just the wrong way to go about that.
Patrick was in the dream and he was being a real jerk. I was upset
with him for some reason. Did I say dream or game? But the
way he acted was horrible to me. Don’t remember what it was

though. I think those girls were in bathing suits... something re-
ally revealing... while they were carted through the dungeon...
and i'm pretty sure they were in the rooms uptop... I think there
were two that were identical... across from each other... one in
each room... one girl in each... and I think being tied down would
signal an event, and a bunch of zombie spawn things would
come in and attack everyone indiscriminately... and I think that’s
when the chinese dragon thing came to life.
“THE BUS”
01/31/2015
I accidentally burned that girl’s dress a little bit. And that thing
ended with me lying on my back...on the stairs... trying to get a
poster... but I couldn’t read them ‘cause they were upside down...
people were mocking me... and there was that guy who was after
me. And I just remember thinking his singing voice had im-
proved so much over the years... but he was freaking me out.
He was killing or something. So intense. Just running after peo-
ple. So fucking freaky... got lost in the middle of the night... and
couldn’t find my way. And there was this ambulance that was
parked but not turning off... and then there were all these girls.
And I went in some kind of bus... I went in there to help some-
one else... and ended up kissing this girl... maybe several girls...
I needed to help one with the task of looking like she had a
boyfriend to fool someone else. And it became really weird. I re-
member at the end I was walking outside when the other girl
came by... and she said something and I already lit up a cigarette,
and was already smoking it... and I was apparently making slight
swinging motions with my arms... just a little bit. So when she
was asking me for something... I accidentally got a little bit of
cherry ash on her shirt... like right around her belly button area.
And I was like "Oh no!" and she was wearing like a white dress
that had little green and white diamonds on it... almost like a
‘Blankey’ type pattern... and it felt like one too. Like a soft childs
blanket. "Oh no...!" and she jumped a little "Ah!"
We ended up kissing. I think she initiated it. I thought it was

weird at the time. Her friends walked by from behind. It was a
really strange scene on the bus, because I came out and kissed
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several people simply to deceive people. It was really strange.

I remember some of her friends passing by behind us made a
comment... made one about me... but then switched and started
talking about some idea that they got from something I did in
the bus earlier... or something I said... like "Something vs. some-
thing," don’t remember exactly what it was... pumpkin vs. ambu-
lance. Something weird like that. Then I went walking off into
the night... down the slummy streets.
I had Bollywood film posters plastered all over my stairwell.

Went running from this guy, running through my house, then
there was a table right across from my bedroom door... and my
mother and a few girls were sitting at the kitchen table upstairs...
at least one girl... probably 20 years old... or older... might have
been a little older than me. I needed something. I opened the
door up just because they were there under the stairs... the
poster... hundreds of films. And I was like "Don’t laugh. This
is what I’m looking for." So I got on my back and went down
the stairs backwards ‘cause I couldn’t read them otherwise. They
were upside down so that they were facing the bottom of the
stairs... so if I really wanted to read them I had to go down stairs
on my back... and backwards... That's when I woke up. That was
freaky when I was running from that GUY THOUGH, because
I was running through the night, through the grass. I was try-
ing to stick to the edge of the bushes so that he couldn’t see,
since it was getting dark out, just so he couldn’t see my silhouette
against the sky... kinda crawling against the bushes. Couldn’t go
in them, ‘cause there was nothing else behind them. So I was just
pressed against them. It’s creepy, though, because I heard him
causing destruction behind me. His voice was creepy, and he had
the creepiest singing voice. His voice had changed a lot appar-
ently since I last saw him and he had a really forceful... (sounds)
and he added that forceful element and it was frightening. And I
thought ‘Geez... if I had to die, I wouldn’t mind dying while doing

something like that.’ I thought that while I was running, but I was
thinking that if he stops me and tries to kill me I was going to
say that... like "Hey... man, while I was running from you, I was
thinking if I had to die I wouldn’t mind dying by a guy like you...
‘cause your voice sounds great." I was trying to think of some-
thing slightly flattering to say to him that might keep him from
killing me.
Ahh, there was that time where I walked through the streets with
that large box full of junk. And then I got pissed off at John
about a CD case. And we were just looking through something
"Here’s that CD case you fucked up. Never said anything about
that before, but you fucked it up bad...”
“Huh?"
“Yeah... see this part? You did this. See this? You did that."
There were pieces missing from the case and insert. Apparently
he broke some of my CD’s six years ago. I was pissed. I was stand-
ing in the middle of the road with a box. The schoolbus had
come. I helped someone get down to the bus in time. That’s how
this all started. I was walking down the street, and I saw that
someone wasn’t going to make it to the bus in time before it
pulled away, so I did something to help them get there really fast.
That’s pretty much how this all started in the first place. I re-
member that I had this giant box, and it was full... most of the
stuff was the kind of stuff that the guy was asking for "Hey, can
I take this?" "Yeah, but there's other stuff mixed in there." "Like
what?" "I don’t know. Looks like random journal entries. Little
pieces of stuff... figurines..." "Whaaaaa?" he said... ‘cause it wasn’t
what he was looking for, but he still wanted it. I still tried to get
rid of some of the extra stuff before I handed it to him. Little
pieces of junk. Even though the bus was waiting for him. I re-
member a bunch of kids staring at me as I stood emptying stuff
out of the box. I think that’s —— just the bus —— say "Okay"
and go inside... ‘cause... some girls... I don’t remember who the
first girl was... to ask me but someone wanted me to kiss them for
someone else... or someone wanted me to just be near them and
pretend to be her boyfriend.
• Reading the profile of this girl. She's lived in "COURTING

BOOTHS,” “TRAIN STATIONS" and different things like that.
It’s crazy. This was the girl who was involved with... I don’t know. I
read a bunch of weird stuff... like "Red versus Judaism.”
“TOLERANCE”
02/01/2015 | 5:56 PM
I remember the ending. Sitting on the floor with my family. Asia
was on the left side of the room. My parents were on the couch.
We were just watching tv or something ... And I remember some-
thing came on tv. And I was slouching kinda... and lying on my
back... so I couldn’t see most of the tv... and I remember a list
showing a bunch of words and what they meant. And there was
one that was like something like... something sexual related... and
I remember my father going down the list reading them out-
loud before we continued on, because I think it had something
to do with the episode, and when my father got to that one...
my mother said something... but I made a comment like "What,
are you afraid that you'll be convinced?" or "You’re afraid that
you'll know I'm right?" something like that (like in the sense that
it was gross). Just being silly of course. It was something that
grossed her out. Something that she didn’t want my dad to re-
peat. I could only see part of the words... due to my position.
I was just coming to terms with being in large groups of people...

but with... being in large groups were aware that my sexuality was
‘weird’ like I was playing games or something and these things
were advertised over our heads...but people could just tell for
some reason.
• What was that bizarre music video that I was watching? They
were trying to promote racial tolerance, but it looked so strange,
and in some ways counterproductive... like "LEARN some
FRENCH!" It was a weird hip hop song.
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“ROBITUSSIN CANDY”
02/03/2015 | 5:54 AM
There was also something about a dog barking. A dog at my
side, I don’t remember what was up with it, but it was not really
there... or it was from an alternative dimension. I'll come back to
that. This was the dream with the person's failure bag. That girl.
We were looking at a picture of that girl. She was just a sad look-
ing girl. She was attractive... not my type. But I understood she
was attractive. She wore a black dress, like a nightclub dress. Not
like a wedding dress or anything. Just black and sleeveless. Sitting
there with high heels. Sitting on top of her pocket book. I made
a comment about that, and he said:
“Ah, no, that’s a failure bag.”
“So, it’s... a... pocket book,” and I saw her with it. “Does she just
use it for such and such?"
“Yeah, she brings it everywhere. Never takes it off. Had it with

her the last time she came to see me."
“So it’s a pocket book..."
“No, it protects the contents of her pocket book. Goes around

her pocket book."
“That's still a pocket book."
“It’s a failure bag. She realizes that the chances of her slipping and
falling or whatever are pretty high..."
It was kind of a sad story, in a way. Then there was that little
girl. Probably around eight years of age. She got some custom
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made Dippin’ Dots and they were Robitussin flavor, and I was
like “NO WAY!!!” I got so excited and wanted to try some so
badly, but then I realized I can’t do that. Not only due to my
condition, but because of... everything. I’m like “I can’t do that
right now... that sucks, I really wanted to try it in case I wanted
it some time in the future.” And every time I passed her in the
mall I would point at it and say something like "AWESOME!" or
"SO COOL!" or "WOW!" in an attempt at being silly, but then
I kept thinking ‘I really just need to ask her for a taste of that... I re-
ally should.’ But then later on I thought to myself ‘Maybe I should
just... swallow the Robitussin Dippin’ Dots which are already in my
mouth,’ and realized I had already had some on my tongue.
(WAS THERE MORE TO THIS IN A DIFFERENT COM-

PUTER DOCUMENT?)*
“SUMMER OF BRUISES”
02/04/2015 | 7:01 PM
I was with a girl. She was very little, though. There was that
time she asked me "Will you go out with me?" or "Will you be
with me?" but I hesitated for two split seconds, thinking she had
asked "Will you marry me?" and I paused, thinking ‘Wait... what
the hell? Why would she ask that? What should I say? Where did
this come from? Why would she ask me that?’ So, instead of ask-
ing her to clarify, I attempted to think of an answer that would
be appropriate no matter what she asked; an answer suitable for
both questions. But she got so upset at the few seconds of delay
that she broke us up.
I remember at the end saying "I thought this would be the Sum-
mer of PS, but it ended up being the Summer of Bruises." That
was after... she tried to piss off my father... she was like two feet
tall... little fat kid... it was weird. Tried to piss off my father...
trying to act like she didn’t know he was there... trying to get
on my nerves. And went over and started saying all of these
overly sexual things... cursing... overly sexual... like "This is what
works... this is what's best." and most of the time I retained my
composure and was civil, but when she said this I flipped out,
"NO. YOU ARE WRONG. SOME PEOPLE ARE ASEXU-
AL, LIKE ME, AND don’t FIND THAT INTERESTING,
FUN, OR TASTEFUL!” on some emotional loud "Not every-
one is like that!" rant and then I went stomping off around
the corner... and while I was walking away I remember yelling
a bunch of questions "WHAT DO YOU SOMETHING
SOMETHING... AND NOW HOW DO YOU VIEW THE
SITUATION!" and I walked off and sat in the back of the pick
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up truck. But while I was sitting in the truck, I could hear in the
distance a robotic voice slowly and systematically answering all
of the questions... like a robot... with weird pauses between an-
swers. It took me like four or five answers for me to figure out
what they were, and what they were saying. And that is when I
looked down at myself and noticed tons of awful bloody bruis-
es on myself, and that’s the bruises part. And I looked over to
the house to the right... neighbors house... and everyone was life-
guards and they were all gathered out front getting ready to go
surfing or something. They were all wearing their outfits and had
their whistles. And I looked down and noticed I was wearing
my whistle... but I wasn’t dressed like a lifeguard... and they were
looking at me... almost like they wondered if I was going with
them. But then I just went walking... and PS showed up around
the corner... walking toward me... and I heard them make a com-
ment about a little kid. They thought she was just a little kid...
(short... 2 feet tall fat kid). Then I remember unlocking the door,
saying "This is going to feel very cold in comparison,” ‘cause it
was so warm outside... so I opened the door and she let out a
relieved sigh... and it was very cold. And I said "It feels good,
but almost makes me want to go run and get under a blanket.
Went from too hot to too cold." and she goes "No, it’s perfect for
me,” and I said "I’m wearing heavier clothes though." but then I
looked down at myself and thought "Oh, well, maybe not...” The
only difference was that I had a short sleeve on and she had a
tank-top... so I'm like "Guess it’s not heavier." That was the end
of the dream. But that was a really messed up dream. And I was
just sitting there thinking... We got into such a big fight after
that pause... when she asked me if I would go out with her... and
because I took like 3 seconds, she was like "That's it. I can’t. I
can't do this anymore." I was so distressed. I even told her "I only
paused ‘cause I thought you asked me if I would marry you,” and
she goes "WHAT?" and I said "That's what I thought. I thought

that was crazy. But then I thought what if she really asked me
that, and I didn't want to treat it like it was crazy if you were se-
rious, I wanted to respond with sensitivity to the question and
take it seriously, and give a serious answer." So that was weird.
She was way too cocky. And at first it was nice ‘cause we were
just hanging out and she spent some time with me in my house...
I think really early in the dream Patrick might have been there.
Not at my house. We might have all been in public... or in a dif-
ferent house at first. Patrick and Haley might have both been
there... I got REALLY upset at those guys though. So something
happened I guess and me and her just came back to my house.
The silence was becoming tense, and it was difficult for me to act
like nothing was wrong, so I went to my computer saying "I'm
going to turn on some music in the background." But I was go-
ing through my Dean list... black metal... So I turned on Inquisi-
tion for like five seconds but decided it was inappropriate for the
mood.
"What are you doing?" She kept asking.
And I said "Wulkanaaaaaaaz!" in a really funny voice while flip-

ping through my library. And I remember she was just sitting
there silently looking in my direction, so after a pause I asked
"Are you familiar with Dark Germanic Heathenism? Do you

know what that is?"
"No. What is it?" She asked, although she sounded totally mo-
notonous and disinterested.
"Oh, I don't know either. I just read it somewhere." I mispro-

nounced the word Germanic about three times consecutively be-
fore getting it right, but it was strange, because I realized it wasn't
a difficult word to say. I turned on HUFO. Because that’s the on-

ly word I remembered and knew how to pronounce. I was get-
ting so many bruises though. I don’t know why.
I remember this one part where she was sleeping in my bed... and
this is shortly after she really hurt me and stuff with the breakup
thing. We were still sleeping in the same bed, and she was trying
to... something was wrong and she got tangled up in something
or she was too cold. Something was wrong. And I reached over
and helped her. It wasn’t just something that was just an instant
fix/solution... it required a little dedication on my part, like I had
to keep doing something just to keep her comfortable through-
out the night ... I don’t know. I was trying to make it up to her,
and I remember thinking to myself ‘What am I doing? She's clear-
ly unstable.’ I remember standing up at one point thinking to my-
self ‘I knew we wouldn't work out...’ I don’t know if I said it or just
thought... but "I knew we would never work out." Yeah... at one
point it just seemed no matter what I said it didn’t matter. She
was just too argumentative. And it was destroying my nerves and
emotions.
There was one point at the beginning of the dream where I felt
like a woman. I don’t know why. I remember I was walking
around some place and felt like I was a woman. yeah I remember
just lying in bed one night, and we were talking all night. And I
just remember she came in to kiss me... and... she started kissing
me... touched my lips or was about to. But she came in to kiss
me, but I pulled back, licked my lips, and then she reinitiated it...
and I felt so awkward. But my lips were getting dry really fast
‘cause we talked so much and every couple of minutes I would
have to lick them... really dry... so when she came to kiss me I was
like "Oh no, these are really dry right now," so *lick* *kiss* It was
awkward. It could have been so romantic, but I pulled back then
came back in. It was funny. It was cute. But I felt so embarrassed.
I also remember one time when she accused me of being dishon-
est. This was when we got in a feud after that stuff. And she was
just talking shit to me and being mean trying to hurt me. "You're
just a dishonest person,” and I said "Ok, LISTEN to me... I don't
know what you're talking about specifically, but I feel like you're
just saying that because that’s what people usually say when they
get pissed off at eachother and have a fight... but I feel like you're
saying that regardless of whether it is true or not, because the fact
of the matter is I haven't been dishonest with you. I don’t know
what you're getting at. Maybe you're just so used to saying that to
guys that you just said it to me for no reason. But I don’t know
what the hell you're talking about." I just couldn’t believe some of
the accusations she was making. They were ridiculous.
And the whole time she was talking... I was picturing just how
she could really just... after all this time... just get out... walk out
of my house... and go date someone else. And it was driving me
nuts... and I was just walking around wondering why I was al-
lowing this to hurt me. I remember us going around the kitchen
at one point... in the middle of the dream? beginning? She was
hungry, so I went around the kitchen opening up cabinet doors.
"There's this... there's this... there's candy." opening up cabinets,
fridges, dezinezniet... I also remember this one point when we
were looking through windows... walking along this long
deck...porch area... and looking through windows. And there
were all these people just sitting inside... doing things... They
were up close to the window. And it was a weird scene going on.
I remember doing that. It was such a weird dream. It started off
really nerve-wracking. "Are we a couple?" and then we're fight-
ing. Just too emotionally taxing on me. And it was awful because
the whole time i'm thinking ‘I’m so stupid. Why do I care about
this? Why don’t I just go?’ since she clearly showed herself as being
emotionally unstable. And I would regularly run fast away from

that.
I guess when I was yelling at her... that was the first time I flipped
at her. With all of her flipouts... the first time I flipped out
was when she was on the deck, and intentionally said that stuff
around my father. And I flipped out about the asexual thing. She
didn't know I was asexual, so I really drove it home. "GUESS
WHAT. I don’t LIKE THAT STUFF!” really vulgar stuff piss-
ing me off. Really fucking pissed me off. we would just lie in
bed for a while. Even after the misunderstanding. We just layed
in bed for a long time not talking to each other. It was weird.
Even after I explained my pause it wasn't enough. I just remem-
ber looking at her face though... and that moment really sucked...
because it was up until that point that it was so... exciting and so
fun to be around her. Then she asked me that... and wow... my
heart stopped. And I just remember she was like two inches from
my face... Kinda above me... I was lying on my back I guess. But
then just five seconds later all of that was over. It was the most
awful dream. We just kissed once... which ... I don’t know how
good of a kiss it was. Not the best kiss... I don’t remember much
about it. It didn’t make me feel faint or anything.
Yeah, about her being short... she was shrinking as she was in-
sulting me. It was around the time that she was being vulgar she
became two feet, three feet tall. I don’t know if I said so be-
fore, but when I went walking around the house she came after
me... I heard the lifeguards mumble "Who's the kid?" amongst
themselves... It’s kind of interesting that even though she was
being wrong to me... and obviously wrong FOR me. Very ir-
rational. Incompatible. And just make arbitrary, emotion-based
judgments... it was really... finicky... and even though I was walk-
ing back and forth, "This is insanity. Why do I still want to be
with her..." it wasn’t until she was so vulgar that I was just like
"Fuck it. That's it,” and took off. I don’t remember what she said,
but just a bunch of emphasized words like "Fuck." "Suck." "Every-
one likes this." "This this this." "Everyone likes this." Just vulgar,
sexual terms and expressions. We obviously were never intimate
with each other in that way... So she didn’t realize I was asexual
because I never explained it to her yet.
“RAPEDME”
02/04/2015 | ??? PM
It ended with that girl being called into the kitchen. It was the
girl who was just going "Did anybody notice that the contents of
this shelf look different to you?" Then it showed the girl walk-
ing into her own house, carrying a baby in one arm and a bag of
groceries in her other. And her cellphone was kinda tucked be-
tween her arm/hands like she just got off the phone, and there
in her house was standing the man with a giant... I know if he
had a rabbit face... or something really creepy... and she goes
"Can... I... help you?" She was freaked out of her mind. And you
can hear him talking through the phone, even though he wasn’t
moving his mouth. Like it was the girls voice. The nurse... "I've
been waiting to see you." It was just something really creepy... im-
plying that he just killed her. That's after she was just walking
with her friends. This was a very confusing thing. This was after
those guys met outside in my yard. I went out there and this guy
who looked like Sam tried to pull off my wig. I said "NO." and
he goes "Come onnnnn. What's under your wig... what's under
your wiigg." and I knew there was a problem, because I was ad-
justing it in front of them, then thought ‘Oh no.’ Like I got it
hooked/caught on something a little, and it moved up a little
or something. (I was disguised as Dean with the long black hair
wig) Then he looks and goes "That’s a wig, isn't it. What's un-
derneath your wig? Show me show me!” and started trying to
pull it up. And I said "NO. I'm sick, and I have to wear this be-
cause I have a problem." "Show me, show me!” And I forget ex-
actly what happened, but I ended up hurting him... maybe not
hurting him... something bad just suddenly ended up happen-
ing to him. And he was like trapped somewhere. And there were
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these messages on the phone that were frozen... but from him... it
said RAPEDME. I don’t know, maybe. I forget it was, but it was
fucking freaky. And I went out there, and i'm just sitting there...
went up there jumped in the pick up truck. THAT'S RIGHT.
That’s right after Asia and her friend drove away in that real-
ly expensive car... and I made a really funny derogatory remark
about people willing to spend eighteen-thousand dollars on a
goddamned car just for their daughter's prom. And I thought to
myself "Geez, back when I went to prom I just put on a tie, ate
my lunch out of a jar and took off down the street." I forget exact-
ly what I said... "Something something moneybags,” I said. Then
there was some guy who kept texting Asia saying "I’m coming
over. I can't be with this other girl. I’m coming over your house
since im nearby. Please come out and talk to me. I need to talk
to you." He was a really annoying needy person. He wouldn’t
stop harassing her. He wouldn't listen to what she had to say, and
wouldn't take no for an answer. "I am leaving now, and I don't
want to see——.” "Oh, nodon'tworry, I'lljustbeaminute." "I said
I won't be——.” "Itwilljustbeaminute, it’sokay.” So he was on his
way to our house... because of a problem with a girl... and Asia's
no longer even here... so it was my job to go out and intercept.
She asked me to handle it I think. So I put on a wig just so no one
would know it was me. At first I was going to pretend to be a girl
but realized that would be a bit too far out. So I went out there...
and it’s dark out... and I notice there’s a pickup truck... and sev-
eral people walking around in the pit of my yard. Sitting around
that area. Someones treading around leaves in the pit... some-
one is standing in front of the truck. So I walked through my
driveway, jumped into the trunk of the pickup with a cig in my
mouth, sit down in the middle of it... my legs all cool... my knees
up. Can't describe it. Just spread out. Light up a cigarette. And
these guys got alarmed but confused expressions on their faces,
but were just like "Hey..." I got away with it for about 20 seconds,
but then they casually asked... "So... who are you?" and I’m like...
I forget what I said. Then they said "You know we're not allowed
to smoke in the back of that truck because of so and so..." and I
said "Is that true? Well I apologize. I guess I made the assump-
tion that because of this car... some of it looked rusty... some of
it looked a little spotty that they wouldn’t mind me smoking
in it. I guess I tend to make that assumption a lot, now that I
think about it... so my apologies,” and I jumped out and put my
cigarette out. It sounded VERY sarcastic while I was saying it,
and I think they interpreted it as that, but I was being sincere.
I don’t know what they thought of me. Because I was just like
this long-haired... I don’t know what happened... but suddenly
there were just these kids going around being killed by this ani-
mal-headed man. I don’t know what happened... Then I remem-
ber the girlfriend of the guy who tried to pull my wig off came
by, she asked “Where is he?" "Sent me this text message and just
said RAPEDME in capital letters, one word no spaces.” “What is
it!?" "He vanished suddenly and it says that on my phone..." Man,
that was a weird dream.
Right before it showed that girl mentioning her apartment... I

don’t know if she was with them, but I saw some of the people
and their girlfriends being seen walking down the road... through
alleys. Not an alley... just walking... out in public... carrying bags
and stuff... but one of them looked down "Aren’t the contents
of those shelves different than before?" and the things they were
carrying around in their hands now changed a little bit. And it
showed the girl who had them... what the hell... I remember my
grandparents... I remember grandparents being over my house at
one point. I remember talking to my grandmother at my house.
There was a beginning to this dream that was kinda normal. I
don’t remember how it all happened. But people were getting
ready for their prom... people were going different places. And
this guy kept calling. He called at the beginning. He reminded
me of Adam... that other church... like a few miles away. But
something got canceled... so he was desperately trying to reach
Asia... called her up at the last minute before she left... and was
saying "I'll be meeting her,” and she said "No... we're going too, so
don’t," and he wasn't listening "I have to, I have to, I have to,” so
he was coming over... so she says to me “I don’t know what to do.
He says he’s coming over here. I’m going. I don’t want to see him
anyway... So you guys will just have to get him to leave." So then I
just took that into my hands when he showed up. wasn’t expect-
ing six or seven punkish guys to show up though.
“MIDDLE FINGER”
02/07/2015 | 5:17 PM
There was that hilarious part where I was reaching in trying to
find something. I was on a huge ladder playing in a contest or
something with these people. Reached my hand in, pulled it out,
had the thing I was looking for on my middle finger, and I stuck
it out to all the people on the bottom floor. Everyone was crack-
ing up. It was so funny. Kinda like a deflated balloon in the way
that it was stuck on my finger. I remember a black guy was like:
"Dude... didn’t you just get in trouble recently... because you said
all these pictures had your middle finger in it? Don’t get in trou-
ble with your parents, bro.”
“Naaah, it was only for some things," and I didn’t know what to
say because I had intentionally exaggerated the seriousness and
gravity of the story I told him earlier, just because... I don’t know
why.
We were all a part of... wait, there was that girl. In one of the final
moments,... my dad outside talking, he was sharing information
with this father about his daughter, this girl who had snuck into
the camp that we were all at... and he was like "Yeah, for a six year
old she's just really understands a whole lot of ——." (Unintelli-
gible)
Apparently she was supposed to be six. Didn’t look six. Looked

a lot older. She got into a lot of trouble this week. Snuck in and
ended up losing her mother in this really bloody way. Not like...
profusion... but... umm... I forget what the prize would be for
that thing I found... for reaching that ‘wrapper’ thing. There were
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weird animals around. Some were pretty freaky. Like at the end
of the dream there was this reference to one. I’m pretty sure it
was alive, but it didn’t look like it was. "Of course it’s alive." They
said "It's been living in this bedroom for the last many years." I
was walking around and I literally just stole this off the guy at the
ink shop...print shop...and while I was explaining it to people I
was just trying to act like I just stole it and ran, but like "Yeahh, I
liked it, and I took it, and it cost me two hundred dollars.” Yeah-
hh... but cost me a price. This weird bat creature.
• Jeez, what the hell was the deal with the eye on top of the pyramid.
Except for the fact that it was made of solid carbohydrates. Which
is normal, comparatively speaking, so that's not... (illegible somnil-
oquy)
Near the end of the dream, I was walking through the night, and
I was trying to get past all the shady places. One guy that was
creeping me out at a gas station mart. Trying to walk by that
place quickly so he didn’t see me. So that’s why I was trying to
walk to that glass... well not walking through, but I stuck my up-
per body ... like bent over into it when he drove by. Then I pulled
back out, and the car that was driving by at the time was like
"Why, if it isn’t the genius Tendon Levey!” in a sarcastic voice,
and at the same exact time, this other woman was just like sev-
en feet away, and then there was another woman in her car with
her child... so they were not too old, not too young, and then
one woman goes "What, you guys know each other?” (confus-
ing, come back and explain this)... And they were talking about
my achievements. Wish I remembered more of the specifics, be-
cause I am failing to describe this well. I was just running from
that guy ‘cause he was creepy and I was trying to make it home
from some place... Where did I come from? Did I explain in the
previous video... the explanation I gave to my father about the in-
terests of Anita... like at first I was into it just because of this rea-
son, but then it became one of my genuine interests, we're stand-
ing there by a bunch of rolled up tubes of something... like paper.
That was probably part of the previous dream. I don’t know. I’m
pretty sure I said stuff from my last dream? That's where I was
climbing those walls. And it was weird.
I was with that woman early in the dream. The one who showed
up at the end of it.
The dream where I was in the store. Looking through the toy
aisles. That's how it began. This might have been the dream with
the posters too. I was over in this place and holding a huge poster
tube. It had a bunch of posters in it. That didn’t have much to
do with it, but I was holding it when my father came over and
asked me about Anita, and asked me about my levels of interest,
and what she was interested in... That might not be what it was...
but there was some kind of question he asked me. The answer I
gave was really cool. It was about how at first something wasn't
the same... I don’t know. It sucks, because I remember saying to
myself "Wow, I need to write this down when I wake up." It was
in the store...I wanted to take a look at all the things I collected
as a child. Wanted to see what they looked like now... like if all
the franchises continued. And it was weird seeing that they con-
tinued even after I lost interest in them and grew up. So I just
walked around laughing at different figures or diecast vehicles.
“CHAH CHAH CHAH”
02/08/2015 | 7:20 PM
• Miffifix... I don’t know. I don’t know if it was medication or not.
Last sight before waking up was reading this woman's story in

which she was talking about her sleeping problems. She's like
"I feel like my dreams are already going on before I fall asleep,"
comparing the beginning to the end of the dreams. I had just
gotten back from a neighborhood stroll at night. It was weird
because I would leave the back of the house and I would be
at the highwayish area, then go walking down a little bit, but
then think "Oh no.” I had forgotten something. I had just put
a bunch of horror movies in my hands, and a little blanket, and
then went walking down the highway, but then I thought "What
else?" and I forget what I came back to get. My shoes? then I
went back, but I had another reason to come back home, and on
the way back I remember scraping over the ground while walk-
ing back to the house, and every step I was making sounded like
"CHAH. CHAH. CHA." There was something making a real-
ly loud noise, and I realized I probably sounded really creepy.
I remember looking up at one point and seeing the silhouette
of girls in the window, and thought "Are the people over there
my age? Are they young people?" I tried to hear them, but they
weren’t out on the deck yet. I remember thinking I would let
them take something I was carrying with me, but I assumed they
would take more than what I was allowing them. I had some
weird thoughts about my mind and about courtesy in the dream,
like if I show them they can take something from me, they'll
take everything, then I'll be robbed, or hurt; people taking ad-
vantage of you once they realize you're kind. But then I was try-
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ing to make my way back to my home, and it was taking a lot

longer to get back than it took to get there in the first place, kin-
da like what I said in the beginning. I just remember passing by
the first street. And the second street, which should have been
Londonberry, and then the third street which WAS Londonber-
ry. It should have been second, but I remember when I was about
to turn right on this street, I looked left and saw a police car that
was always on. The flashing lights were always on. Red and blue...
and that was there at the end of the second street. So I got con-
fused. "WHAT? This is not right" that street name sounded like
Limbo, but it had a Y in it somewhere, I think, so the next street
was right. I forget what happened before. I was pissed off at my
parents.
I think at the beginning of the dream I was in the church parking

lot. I remember being invited to go to some place. I remember
looking down at the shirt I was wearing and realized I was wear-
ing the same shirt every week. It was just a plain black shirt. Then
next week I went back and had the same exact outfit on and real-
ized they might have never seen me in anything else.
• “That’s the kind of stuff I try to avoid saying... avoid sounding like
a fucking child." That’s what I just said... a few seconds ago. Didn’t
realize I wasn’t recording. I was falling in and out of sleep, and I
heard my mother saying something... a hallucination.
“FEATHER IN THE MOUTH”
02/09/2015 | 9:03 AM
At the end I got that bird feather in my mouth, and I think it
might have been poisoned with aquanet or something weird. I
remember looking out in the road there was like ——? Every lit-
tle booth had something showing whether someone was blind,
p-——. I remember I got punched... someone damaged me bad-
ly when we all got in a lobby... I got so beat up I couldn't see or
hear. Maybe blind and something... and that caused a big scene.
And everyone in that fight regretted it at the end. And at the end
the girls walked by... people who liked me... they were blaming
themselves for what happened to me. I was able to see now after
all though. That was a lie. Or something wasn't true. There was
also something before with Poppop, and someone going down
the river on this crazy boat, this crazy vehicle that had Alex and
someone else in the front... wait... what was that van...? and my
father had to run into the mall to return something to my sister,
and that fucking guy tried to take my headphones... steal them...
so my dad went chasing after him. I was just sitting in the car,
this dude comes over and takes my headphones out of my hands.
My door was opened, and he goes "Yo. The sound that’s com-
ing through shouldn’t be coming through. What you need to do
is turn up your volume on your speakers and turn the volume
down on this. I'll show you how to get a killer sound,” trying
to show me how to do something specific. So I pressed play on
my iPod, hoping that one of my Tendon Levey songs wouldn't
come on because I would be embarrassed, and he's like "Yeah-
hhh, this is good." And then he just goes "I'm going to be tak-
ing these. See ya." Then he grabs them and takes off. I’m still sit-
ting in the car buckled in, and he takes off running. I see my
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dad standing outside on the sidewalk, so I yelled "FUCKING

RUN AFTER HIM! HE TOOK MY HEADPHONES!” And
my father took off chasing him, and he caught him and gave
him a good punch or something that was surprising considering
that my dad is kinda wimpy. While my father was chasing him
I went to the police (wow, what overkill), and told them that
this guy stole my headphones. Then a few people came out and
jumped on him and took him. So I got my headphones back
and the police walked away with the guy. I remember standing
there waiting for the thief to look back in my direction, saying
"Man, these were $19.95 at the store over there,” just telling him
where I got them and for what price, but at the same time like
"Dude, these were cheap. What’s wrong with you?”Then by the
time we got back to our van it was filled with little kids, and
I’m going "IS THIS OUR TRUCK?'' Then Alex and some oth-
er guy got in the front, and I was acting silly. Then we went to
that church place. There was that angry long haired guy walking
around in front. Someone was really happy like "HE'S GOING!
HE’S LEAVING THE PLACE TODAY!" but who cares ap-
parently, ‘cause he got crazy violent and started beating the shit
out of the place, and went near the locker area. I just remember
someone slamming into a locker. He got huuuurt. It was a crazy
scene.
There was a part where we went to the store with my grandpar-

ents, but after a while I split from them, but found out we were
still going in the same direction as them anyway, when we were
turning off the ramp someone in the front was like "AW MAN",
and then we looked and they're still in front of us. We were on
our way to return something to Asia, and we found it funny,
couldn’t believe it, ‘cause we finally parted but they were still in
front of us. We were driving in the middle of the night, and drove
by Target, and I remember thinking there was a dead guy in the
back seat of the van. The way he was lying seemed awfully weird.
And I remember hearing stories. I don’t know if he was in our
van, or if I momentarily pictured him there because of a story I
heard, but it was pretty freaky. And I remember looking out and
there was a part where I saw another man who looked like a dead
man just lying there. He looked like he found a place where he
just wanted to get some sleep and just died. I don’t know. Pretty
weird and scary. I think I went into one of these places for a few
moments but then realized I didn’t have my hat on.
I remember the part with the bird. We were watching all these
videos with birds. All these hilarious holograms we were going
through. Just fields full of birds and bunnies. We felt we were
going through the fields. "JEEZ, this is so realistic all I need is
a feather in my mouth and this whole thing would feel like it’s
fucking real!" so I don’t know what happened, but I looked down
and saw a feather, and went "AHHH!" and put it in my mouth.
It was horrible tasting... acidic... took it out, and somehow iden-
tified it as poison. I saw what bird it came from. It was weird,
I looked it up. That weird bird bunny ride hologram was weird
though. Cute, but I don’t know.
“WHERE’D THE SHOW GO”
02/09/2015 | 7:06 PM
"WHERE’D THE SHOW GO!?"
Everyone just stopped and stared at me, cracking up like "What

was that!?!" Even a couple minutes later someone was saying "All
I could hear in my head now is ‘Where’d the show go?’” It was
all falsetto and high pitched. I had just come out of the laundry
room, and I was singing “The Other Side of Life” by The Moody
Blues, and I came back and did that, because I saw that the tv was
off, so I was wondering if that meant that everyone was going to
bed, everyone was sitting around talking and getting ready to go
to this sea-grave kinda place.
Weird dream. This one girl, who was kinda kissing everyone...
that’s right ,we were driving on the road... and all those people
that were kinda gothic erotic... and posed all weird. Yeah... we
were driving on a bridge, and it was night time... and there was
some kind of... I don’t know... We all went through this weird
camp kind of place... I remember sneaking out at night, and I
think I got some serious scolding from the instructors... people
who owned the camp. I forget what happened, but I got put in
a bad place, which I believe I escaped from... I kept breaking out
or something. I don’t know.
Much of the dream revolved around the fact that that girl had
been kissing like three or four guys. Me, I was included, but I
was in the early part of the dream. Then she kissed another guy.
Then I thought she liked me again, but she liked that guy still...
and then she's kissing ANOTHER guy. And I thought HUH?
I just remember walking around singing moody blues. But I was
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singing it in a higher register and it didn’t sound good the way

I was doing it. Then I walked in to do the wash in the laundry
room... so I was singing really low at this point... and then I came
out and saw that the tv was off. Because before that we were all
sitting in front of the TV...
What did we do though? Did someone bring over food? We

were just a group of people hanging out in this cramped hotel
room. I just remember going out on a little balcony and peeking
over and I did something wrong. Like I almost stole something...
like a boat or something that involved the military place nearby.
There was the part at the end when I was changing my pants in
front of everyone, while sitting on the bed. I didn’t even care.
I was still wearing underwear. I was simply changing into my
sweat pants... not like right in front of y, but still in a room full
of people... I don’t remember... then I remember we were look-
ing through all those ocean places, and I was already singing
The Moody Blues, but then we were like "Okay, let’s go to this
one!" and it had the weirdest name of all and turns out it was
close by... It had the weirdest directions "What the hell! This is
so redundant, I can't figure out where this is!" and then some-
one said something about it. “Something something something
other side of life." "WAIT, WHAT? I WAS JUST SINGING
THAT SONG. Didn’t ANYONE HEAR ME? HUH?'' Then
earlier in the dream, at the beginning, before we passed the
bridge and there were all those girls hanging out on the road-
side... we got in a van... I was in before... and I remember taking a
while ‘cause I had to pick where I was sitting. The seat I was orig-
inally sitting in was occupied now... but I didn’t know what girl
to sit next to.
“YOU TWO, BY THE VOLCANO”
02/10/2015
Forty minutes ago I had a dream that... Everyone was like touring
this area. There was a volcano sort of thing. And I remember I
stepped over the little post, and I was sitting there on the wrong
side of the fence, dangling my legs above the volcano, and I re-
member I kicked off a shoe of mine... and it made a noise. And
the security guard on one of the lower floors looked up and
yelled "THAT'S IT. I'M SICK OF YOU TWO GOOFING
AROUND DOING SOMETHING SOMETHING. YOU
TWO COME WITH ME." And I remember stepping back
from the fence thinking ‘Who else is he blaming? Who is the sec-
ond one? Who is he looking at?’ I was the only one sitting on that
side of the fence. I remember later on some girl... she was real-
ly pissed off about what happened. She was trying to protest the
unfairness of the way the guards were behaving over whom they
had no jurisdiction. I don’t know. Something like that.
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“CHIEVO”
02/11/2015
I splashed water on that guy at the end. But then I was like
"Wait... what did I just do?" Thinking... and then I said "Take me
with you!” And he’s walking, he's nervous, and he's trying to get
out before anyone could follow him, because he just went into
that room and got outed as a criminal, and now everyone knew
he was the criminal. But after I splashed water on him to help
everyone else out, I remember while I was out there I thought
"This is going to get ugly," so I left the hall to kinda preempt it...
standing closer to where the trailer was going to be taken. But
after I threw the cup of water on him just so the officers knew
I knew something was wrong. There was stuff going on in the
yard... there was a guy hurting me... I was hiding underground.
And there was that cool guy with the bass... and I was looking at
his headphones... those headphones with the —— broke. I was
looking at those ones when he came down. Looked at him and
was like "Wait... I know you,” but I was getting his name mixed
up, and now I realize why... ‘cause he was like Dallas. But his
name in my dream was totally different. Like Chievo. He was
like "Okay!" and I went "Wait... what are you doing down here?
I wouldn’t have expected you to play music... I've only seen you
on... oh wait." Then I named some music group. "Nevermind,
that makes perfect sense,” then he goes "Yeah... you're Tendon
Levey!" "Yeah. What instrument do you play?" “I thump around
a little on bass.” But then when I walked out of the room I re-
alized that the whole wall of the room was his. That was cool.
So me and him were talking for a few minutes. Most everyone
else there was just nerdy. Chievo was cool and black. Was this
the place where I was hiding from those kids? I destroyed some-
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thing or stole something, then went hiding underground. LIT-

ERALLY underground. Had to crawl under the dirt under the
deck and get into this weird crawlspace? There was some kind of
really hurtful, neglectful, creepy villain teacher that I was with
for a lot of the dream. What the hell was that all about...? It was
like some hyper-hateful Lajos. But he turned into like a demon,
swirling around in the yard, and I was expecting my father to save
me from it, but he didn't. He couldn’t. Lajos was just so power-
ful. This sounds funny. But it was really creepy. He had supernat-
ural abilities, and I just remember us flying through the air at one
point and through the yard. I had some special ability too, which
got passed on from him to me. It was the Londonberry yard, first
of all, and everyone was watching while we just took off flying.
I don’t really remember any girls. I just remember there were...

what did I do? I escaped underground, and was speaking to these
kids. It all started because I was ducking into some place and
some other guy saw me... who was like a secretive guy and he goes
"That's a good idea. You're good at that stuff," and had me follow
him around or something.
• Okay... he was... Ah it’s like —— put together in dark supernat-

ural dance music. I don’t know what I’m talking about though... I
don’t know how to read this because it’s a different language, but
the first letter looks like... looks like a horseshoe... dammit... Like
the Omega, but it’s got a slash through it in the middle... diago-
nal. Pissed me off... everything just shut down. What the fuck, why
would everything just shut down. Why would the power just go
off ? Dammit (note: sleepwalking. The power didn't go off... I don’t
think...I’m just rambling incoherently).
• Yeah, but I remember him moving around trying to eat all the
bugs out of the pan. He was so obnoxious that day. SO obnoxious
that they tried to eat all the bugs out of the pan. What the hell... she
was just standing there shaking it over the oven... What the hell am
I talking about...
“ALIEN MACHINES”
02/12/2015 | 6:57 AM
I was sitting there. There was a part where I was walking through
a food court. Looking for someone to help me with some work.
This was after I was at that other place. And there were all those
people standing in a weird line, and I was trying to do some help
even though it was past my work hours. I was strolling around
the streets and saw the old guy in the window... a guy I sent my
music to earlier, and that guy always freaked out when he saw
me, so I wanted to walk up to the window and see if he freaked
out even more when he saw me now that he knew what I sound-
ed like in music (he was a workmate of mine... but he always
flinched when he saw me). So I went back to work, tried to help
out a little bit. Forget what I did. Then I went down to anoth-
er place near the food court looking for someone to help me
lift something. There were SO many people. And I saw the guys
from some metal band sitting on the floor, lined up against the
wall eating their food. And I thought to myself "Oooh... that’s
weird. Don't act all "Wowowow!" so I just nodded as I was walk-
ing by. I forget where I went. I grabbed something from the back
room and opened the kitchen door, and everyone was running
back and forth, just staring at me like "Huh? What do you need
to ask?" kind of impatient. "If you're looking for someone to help
you'll have to wait for 20 to 30 minutes,” "Okay... thanks.” So I
walked back, closed the door, still near all the guys. The singer
wasn't there anymore. I figured he went to the bathroom. All the
other guys were still there.
Next thing I know I am walking down the aisle on my way back

to the main place, and then I see him at a table with some woman
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who I guess was just an interviewer or fan... and she's being all
fanny... So I just walked up and said "Hey." I might have pulled
a ‘sigh-sit-down’ where I acted like I was tired and just sitting
down at the first seat I saw, and it just so happened to be next
to him. It was really funny. At first I don’t think he knew I knew
who he was. But then someone mentioned some numbers and
I knew what it meant, then I guess he realized. So I asked him
a couple questions. I asked him a really weird question... first I
asked a really dumb one, ‘cause the wording was so weird I think
it confused him a little. But then after that... he started having
problems with ears...there was a weird jackhammer high pitched
freaky noise, and he kept sticking his fingers in his ears and twist-
ing them ‘cause it was upsetting him. He was trying to listen to
what I was saying but he was getting upset by it. It got really
freaky and strange. Like this little white machine came by and
picked him up and put him inside of it. The machine was like 3
inches tall though. There were tons of little white machines that
did weird things to people. Came and claimed people. Each one
had different positions. One was the depressed one, which went
back and forth in a six foot area, back and forth, back and forth...
and then there were ones that just disappeared... and it was get-
ting freaky... ‘cause there were gunshots going off in this place...
and a lot of other crazy things... it was just really weird. I’m like
"I need to get the fuck out of here," I remember making it back
to the entrance/exit and taking a look back and getting a big pic-
ture shot of it... little robots all over the floor... these invaders and
they're blowing everything up. Sci-fi type things. And I’m like
"What the hell... I just came someone to find someone else to
help me move something,” I was trying to be cool and all. I went
inside during work hours... the place I usually worked, just to see
if that guy said anything, since I left some of my CDs there, and
I figured I would be able to tell from his response to my presence
whether he had listened to them or not. He was an older guy.

Gray hair...
My great uncle was in the dream at the beginning. He was all

smiley. "Hey!" he was just staying in our NJ house. And I just re-
member being polite, "Wow, I haven't seen you in a while,” and
I just remember I just kept trying to be polite, and Poppop was
there, and he kept making references and jokes that were rude... I
would say something, and then Poppop would make a reference
to how old he is, then I would counter it... "Well, you look like
your age... or good for your age,” but Poppop kept making jokes
or references to how old he was. And there were so many awk-
ward pauses and stalls...
He said something about caring about his health, and I’m like
"Yeah, that’s always great to do, I do it myself.” Anyway, that was
weird. It feels like a portent.
Yeah, anyway, when I passed by the work building, I stopped in...

There was a little lobby with just that guy in it, then you walked
further... a big line of people in front of a buffet... and the line
was so weird because they were standing behind something that
fell over... even though the line continued... in front and behind
this fallen pillar or whatever.
So I was like "This is madness.” At first I tried to talk to some

people that worked there... I was off duty now, but I was stopping
in to goof around with them. Just a little place. It was like a
little food joint... almost like a food court fast food place... not
a normal fast food place... maybe like starbucks. Little dark. So
I went in, the line was too long, and the thing had fallen over
so it was weird... So I started trying to move it... and one of the
girls turned around looking at me because I was standing there
and trying to move this while I was right nearing them... and I
thought "Maybe they're thinking ‘Oooh, who's this guy who just
came over here and started helping out?’ and I wonder if they
knew I worked here... or if they thought I was just being cool."
Yeah... so I started doing that, then realized "Okay... I need to go
get help,” and that’s what led me through the cafeteria area... and
kitchen... and then the singer... getting sucked into a machine...
It was funny because when I sat down at the table I just acted
exhausted... that noise someone makes when they're like "Ahh-
hhh, I just need to sit for a second!” Sitting indiscriminately...
right next to him. HAHA. Acting like I don’t know who the hell
he is. And after he got sucked into the robot, which may or may
not have meant that he was gone forever. I remember going back,
on my way... walking and finding my voice recorder in my pock-
et, and was like "Man, I should have gotten him to fucking yell
something on my voice recorder... dammit..." and then I thought
"This voice recorder is so cheap... would you even be able to tell
it was him... since the quality is so cheap? Who knows."
“METALHEAD”*
02/13/2015
Broken picture of a dog cloud next to me? Chatting online? The
guy coming from Spain... and... of course that thing with my par-
ents. And what else was there... something with Asia too. A big
part earlier in the dream. Yeah I remember chatting online with
this guy. I forget why I messaged him. I wrote to him asking if he
ever heard of out of body experiences and stuff like that... and I
think I misused the word somnambulism. I was trying to think
of the (most) scientific term for describing an ‘out-of-body expe-
rience’, and I think I mistakenly referred to it as ‘somnambulism’
without thinking (and I was quite embarrassed). But we were
talking for a while, and I was recommending non-metal music,
which I felt weird about... he was like "Dude, I know we just met
and haven't talked that much... but there is a show in October or
November, which I’m coming over to... and I wanted to know
if you want to come also... ‘cause it’s in South Carolina, and I
guess that's only a state or two away from you," so I’m looking
at flyers online. No one I know... but I’m like "Yeah, that would
be great," I remember wondering "Should I tell him that I have
these problems? What should I tell him... I’m a shut-in?" I kept
typing it in and erasing it... wanting to warn him that something
could go wrong if something goes wrong in my condition. The
silence between replies was noticeably lengthy. I told him that
sounded great, I'd like to be able to do that, a little ways away
though. I remember while I was talking an instant message from
someone else popped up... an M name... like Medico? I forget
what it was... but I don’t know who I thought it was... but they
were like "Please say you're there... Please talk back... Please." And
I thought "Who is this person...?" I remember my parents made
1297
a comment about an ex-girlfriend at that time... so I presumed

it was her. Then another messaged up, but that one didn’t seem
like a real person. It was like a sales ad or a newsletter for some
sort of guitar manufacturer. I just remember late on I was walk-
ing around the house "Yeah this guys coming down in Novem-
ber or October and I might be able to go to see this show with
him,” and they ask "Who is he?" "Oh a metalhead I know from
online,” and my father goes "You can't do that." "What do you
mean I can't do that?" Then my mom chimed in "Yeah, you can't
do that. You’re not allowed to meet someone you just met on-
line. "I'm fucking twenty-five years old.” “Yeah, as long as you're
in your twenties, we can’t allow you to do that.” And there was
something about ordering vinyls online? And I’m like "What the
fuck are you two saying? I have been isolated all this time and
you're not even allowing me to break out of it?"
Then there’s also that part where my mom was asleep in a bed-
room... and all that stuff with Daniel. What the hell. Somehow
Daniel got hurt. It was me, Daniel and someone else in this
room. We did something stupid and he ended up getting hurt...
But he wasn’t holding it against us. And I remember someone
walking into the room while —— was sleeping.
(After arguing with them) and I remember looking at the wall,

seeing a picture of me and Asia when we were children. I
punched it SO hard.*
“BIRTHDAY”
02/14/2015 | 6:05 PM
Okay... There was that miniature Aladdin figurine I got in the
mail. And a small Abu, mainly a small Abu... In the dream I
was...Wasn't... a championship to begin with, obviously... Wait,
have I been talking the whole time? Did I talk about the Aladdin
figurine? I dumped my girlfriend because ...yeah, basically some-
thing at the flea market... or amish market ... yeah... Huh... yeah
but... watched a bunch of videos of Aikido. It was my birthday,
and I was just having kinda a crappy time. So my dad allowed
me to request... I asked him to find all of the videos of me doing
Aikido when I was young. Complete... total... lack of reality... all
sorts of heinous crimes in place...
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“VEINS”
02/14/2015 | 6:52 PM
Okay... all that stuff with K... the girl. Well, that was weird. I was
kinda like spending my time... Okay, we were at my house first...
or some kinda place. It ended with me and my father going for
a ride... wait... my side/stomach was really weird. Remember go-
ing into the bathroom and seeing that these giant green vein...
well not like a vein. One thing that was EXTREMELY PRO-
NOUNCED and colorful was seen through my skin. I was able
to see many of my internal organs through my skin and it was
HORRIFYING. Did not look right.
I just remember over this place... and that girl K. We got pretty
close. Really late at night, and we started hanging out. We were
just friends at first... well that’s how we stayed. We were never re-
ally romantic. But it was still kind of weird.and I just remember
later on we were at a party with all those people... who was that
guy I was speaking to... I remember speaking to a couple differ-
ent people. There was the older guy. Then the younger guy who I
was asking "Why does everyone have Radiation shirts on?" "Oh,
that's my band! We just attracted the attention of so-and-so/or
got signed,” but everyone had their shirt on... like they were cele-
brating or something (which I guess is what he was saying). Yeah,
I remember getting a message from KB at the end online...it was
like two messages. I typed a message before I even saw the second
one. What's that one about me injecting all the animals with the
stuff that sucked all the fat out of them... and they just ended up
being bonebags... as skinny as can be. I did that to a dog or two.
What was that animal I really liked? The one that was riding on
my back in many pictures. But then it got too sick... it was either
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a frog or a turtle. Yeah but there was definitely some chemistry

between me and that girl. Can't remember much though.
“DEMON TAXI”
02/15/2015
The fact that they do not disappear when they are not needed is
SO CREEPY. These zombie hordes. Not even zombies. What-
ever they are, I don’t know what you would call them. They just
appear, and then they don’t go away. When you're running, when
you change scenes—they don't go away. Fucking creepy. I re-
member sitting in the back seat of a car with a girl. I remember a
few scenes at the end of this dream with a few girls. At first she
wasn’t going to let me into her car, as there wasn’t any room, but
I went "PLEASE PLEASE!" because something was after me...
What is it... there was like a demon taxi driving down the street...
and so she looked over at me and heard the taxi coming so she
let me into her car. Pretty sure we grew close in the car ride. We
were sitting all close to each other and ... legs touching...
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“QUESTIONS”
02/16/2015 | 6:00 PM
I was hanging out with Hirasawa at his mansion or something.
He was a bit of a weirdo. I remember him asking me all these
questions, and I was thinking ‘I wonder what it would be like to
not answer him... if he asked me a question. I can just say “I don’t
have to answer that."’ I thought ‘I've never done that to anybody be-
fore, so I wonder what would happen if I did.’ It was a little strange.
And then about 5 or 6 days ago I dreamt I was staying in some

sort of hotel... maybe I said this... With that guy Sam... and I re-
member what we were talking about... music, most likely... I don’t
think this is that one where he invited me to the concert. But we
were sitting up in a bunk bed talking. He said something, then
I responded with a weird sexual line... just implying that i'm not
straight... and he was like "Huh?" and I said "Oh no, oh no, haha.
I'm an asexual, not a homosexual." I don’t know what I said that
made him go huh, but I figured he thought I was gay. Then he
goes "Ooooh, okay." I don’t remember what else we talked about.
This is like the fifth dream in the past few days that was really
weird... with old fraternity members. Even Florentin was there.
But it wasn’t like we were all just sitting there. There was some-
thing almost virtual about it. Like a chat room or something...
but almost like the MMORPG’s my father plays. We were all
meeting in one place. Sometimes I was like "Should I be here?
Should I be here right now?" There was a really hyper feeling.
And I remember just causing damage or trouble... in a place
while we were waiting for people to arrive. And I remember talk-
ing to certain people. And it felt so weird to be talking to some
of those guys again. Guys showing up "Oh god, I forgot about
1303
that guy. Can’t believe I’m talking to him again." just really weird.
Can’t remember all that was going on. Sort of political. But I’m
not sure that’s what I mean to say.
It was like everything was distorted. Everyone is nauseous and

yelling at each other. Distorted like the voices... very loud. But at
the same time we're just laughing. It’s going back and forth be-
tween... it was very confusing. I wish I would have said some-
thing about this twenty or thirty minutes ago while I was sleep-
walking my way about this, because at that time I thought this
was more common than it was and didn’t realize how weird it
really was. Like I found this little secret area, and we needed to
preserve it for the others. That’s what we wanted to do.
I don’t remember what happened but there were people over our
house, and I had to prepare for an event happening the next day.
I was getting my clothes picked out, and they were all dirty, and
I didn’t know if I could have them ready in time. It was 6 or
7 hours away and I had several hours of sleep still to get. So I
worried I wouldn't make it. Another bad/pissed off dream about
Asia.
“MESSY HAIR”
02/17/2015
Yeah about that dream before: those girls who came up to me
and one of them touched my hair... and she was just like "You
should wear your hair like this.” You know how girls are... and
the other one went "Yeah, you should," and they gathered over
me and tried to comb my hair and brush it over to the side. And
I gave the disclaimer "Oh, I didn’t shower today. It’s messy. It’s
gross" "Oh, it’s fine," "No, it’s messy, I didn’t shower," "No, it's
good," That's so weird, ‘cause it’s all happening in my mind. So
what happened to me in my life that I’m saying something like
that but the girls in my mind are objecting, saying no it’s good?
HAHA. What a weird scenario when I remember that it’s all my
imagination.
Not really sure what happened at the end of that dream... I was at
this restaurant. That was funny. This was some time after almost
getting hit by the truck... I had to use the bathroom. We went
into the diner... apparently we had been here or a similar place
before. Didn’t work out well. We're trying again. Coming to get
advice from this guy. Didn’t know what happened... something
about the car... it was covered in pennies, quarters and nickels
and I yelled "WHAT IS THIS, A WISHING WELL?" and I
started wiping it all off. Then we finally caught up to the guy we
were trying to see, he was leaving. He said "Oh! I want to go see
what the problem is. Don’t want to get hit by a bus or anything.”
1305
“HALLUCINATIONS”
02/18/2015 | 6:46 PM
That girl who was in that weird band... I remember recommend-
ing her like... some Natacha Atlas or something to listen to ‘cause
she liked certain kinds of... or something that had like some ara-
bic dance mix... cool guitar... and she was singing it a bit. Sound-
ed pretty good. I was there... my father was somewhere else. It
was at a store? Then there was that thing with the ladder later...
What was that thing I woke up from my sleep from several hours
ago to write down that wasn’t interesting? Did I even write that
down? Now that I think of that, I might not have even woken up.
I might have just been asleep. Anyway, For a second I thought
my camera was a cup of cold water, and I almost just dumped it
all over me... like... the screen? Almost tipped it... trying to drink
it. I remember going online, looking at a picture of myself from
a time when I had blonde hair... it was in a hidden folder... a pic-
ture of me and a bunch of guys with innertubes.
• “Appointed to a beak boulder cutting courts with cat knives."
Was there a little animal? Like a cat? I don’t know. That doesn't
make any sense.
Pastor sea clam? Then, while I was telling my mother something

about my dream, she goes "Blah blah blah," and I asked "Did you
actually just say ‘blah blah blah’ to me while I was telling you my
dreams?" and I walked away.
• There are many somethings in my world. There are many marks

to know.
1306
• Yeah, but whereas I preserve the best as being the best chess piece,
they were thinking “Because Santa, I don’t know why...”
• “Whoa, yellow rabbit of disco, what a rush.” I said that after

putting on these orange sunglasses with crosshairs painted on them.
• Someone asking "How do you say ‘I loved you,’ emphasis on

‘loved’, meaning it was stronger in the past.”
What the fuck am I going on about. All of this is half-asleep hal-

lucinatory rambling.
“ART CLASS”
02/19/2015 | 7:40 PM
I snuck into a school. I don't know what happened, but I went in,
and every time I walked past the school I recall everyone inside
thought something weird of me. The way I looked with my shirt
and pants. And I remember at one e I went round the wrong
way, and ended up in this school room where all these kids were
working on art stuff. Some kids were painting, some were doing
musical things... Not playing music, but listening to a boombox,
so it wasn’t what I first thought it was, ‘cause at first I thought
they were practicing. So I sat down, and I knew I would be in so
much trouble if a teacher or anyone found me... But I kept... do-
ing something really weird with my lips.
• Share foster? I don't know what Share Foster is...
1308
“MYSTERY SANDWICHES”
02/20/2015 | 7:25 PM
I was at church. Sam and Jessy were present. There were those
guys with their giant sandwiches. I saw the sandwiches and I
asked "What, is it communion!?!" and they all laughed.
Then there was that earlier part when that guy broke into my
house... wanting to steal some antique dishware. I came up with a
lie and got it back from him. But I found him later online selling
similar products... this guy...
I threatened some guy. Don’t know if it’s the guy who broke into
my house. He went on an online auction site. Just broke into
people's houses, stole stuff, then auctioned it off. But I caught
him in a big lie and got it back. Think he was selling this stuff to
begin with... ‘cause I broke into his house? I don’t know... it was
something similar. What was it about jessy? Was I just talking to
her, or what? She was excited to see me, but there was a problem.
Everyone had these biiiig, round sandwiches. Round as opposed
to... not like a hoagie. It was just a regular, round bun.
I walked up to my father while he was talking to Jeff, and I asked

"Where are these people getting all these sandwiches?" and then
I looked down and saw that they had some too. “Wait... you guys
have them too? I didn’t even know that when I asked. What is
this, communion?" and they both laughed. Jeff made a joke in re-
sponse, but it fell flat.
And then someone else was like "I just wanted to get these... they
had these sandwiches in a commercial that was talkin’ about a
horror movie... then after that it was talking about this and that.”
1309
They were just going on and on and it didn’t seem to make a

lot of sense. It had to do with commercials. Then there was an-
other guy online who I saw at church previously... I saw him at
church but never talked to him, so it was weird seeing him on-
line... ‘cause he was all thinking he was cool... I just moved here
apparently... "Ahhh, just going to this new church." I saw him on-
line but didn’t say anything. Just thought "Ah, well now I know
more about his life." He was overly descriptive about an acci-
dent he got in while skating or something. Not overly descriptive
about the accident itself but about the equipment he was using
at the time... not sure if it was really skating or not.
“ALBUMS”
02/21/2015 | 7:42 AM
Very confusing night. Spent the past several hours going back
and forth through time. Maybe not, but that’s what it felt like. I
was attempting to show people that the album that inspired me
by someone was the album where the guy was sitting in his car
on the cover. The music was kinda psychedelic bubblegum pop
stuff, which I recall enjoying. It’s the cover where he was in, near
or on his car... outside... that one... I did another one... that came
right after it... so I was taking a picture before that or with that,
and I was going to make an allusion to it on my own album be-
cause of something else that happened. Because earlier on before
I traveled through time I took pictures of those two albums then
came back and took pictures of myself and those albums again.
It’s very confusing what I was actually doing, I don’t know, but
it was really interesting. It was especially weird to find out, now,
that none of that was real. It was all so convincing. It was just like
I just had to go back and prove something, because no one be-
lieved me, so I had to prove that that was my favorite one; that
it was the one that inspired me... and that I was there to see... I
don’t know.
1311
“SICK BIRTHDAY”
02/22/2015 | 6:52 PM
In the kitchen with all those people. My family, my grandpar-
ents, those girls. Who were those girls, and what were they? Were
they bad guys at the beginning but then things funny and they
started fixing my hair even though it was nasty since I hadn’t
showered, so it was all gross. I got sick because it was my birth-
day and I had to eat this thing with marshmallows or creatures
or something and I looked at this ball that I saw sitting with,
like packet things of yogurt and I got sick and wouldn’t eat it. It
looked somewhat okay before, but after eating all of that other
stuff I was not feeling it.
I was sitting there having my hair done. They—those girls—did

something weird with my clothes, and I remember being
wrapped in a towel. They were just like girls my age but at the be-
ginning I think they were like an enemies coming in to kill me,
but then we started goofing around.
I remember my father running out on the front deck. I remem-

ber walking down the street and there was these different ani-
mals and stuff like a family of these animals that stood up on
their front legs and the hind legs went up into the air over their
bodies. It was freak because they're gonna spray us, they were lit-
tle? but it was still freaky and they charged us and like one or
two of them charged us all the way down the street to our house,
and that's when I jumped up on my dad's shoulders, like “Oh
no!” And he’s like “get off, I'm tired!” And I remember we were
walking down the street and in the last stretch I rode in this lit-
tle pony that I had been walking back down the road the whole
way, and we had just done something successful and I thought
1312
“Dammit I just let the pony out” and so we had to go back and
look for the pony. I think that’s when the girls showed up. Me
and my dad were just doing stuff outside.
Those girls were so strange. I just remember they were doing

weird things to me. They were like assassins. they thought I was
someone who I wasn't at first. They broke in here to kill me. I re-
member them doing something to my hair and my head and my
parents were asking “why aren’t you taking any pictures of this,
this is funny!” And then my father turned on a Rush song while
he was taking a video and I said “Please don't turn on any music.
I've learned the hard way that music while in a video is horrible
because then when I want to add my own to it later I can't. I not
only can't do it because of the other music present, but the music
isn’t even as good in quality as I would have liked.
“CHICKEN BONES”
03/01/2015
+rooftop scene + girl and deer
+plan of action —— objectives, movie theater and particular

conditions
+entering industrial plant
+finding guy with fists for an ass
+leaving guy. Finding girl... angel wings under stack of paper-

work
+looking for wi-fi. Scene with father and his current boss.
+father, girl and I went walking away through the industrial

plant. Had an angry outburst and walked off.
+girl chased me down, ‘chicken bones’, we walked back.
"Uhhh... What's that?" Clearly looking at my laptop computer

plugged into his wall. "That's Pokémon...?" I responded unconfi-
dently, referring to the desktop wallpaper. Then I explained "Lis-
ten, someone's life depends on this... I need to access x and no
other place has Wi-Fi.”
I was getting really, really pissed, and was having a difficult time
controlling my anger. I began repeating every sentence twice in
a row. I started doing random stomps while I was walking. At
one point while she was walking in front of me I reached out my
arms, put my hands on her shoulder, and was kind of using her
for support, but at the same time my arms were so tense that I
1314
was like pushing down on her shoulders. She just kept walking
without saying anything, so I took it as her allowing me to do
it. Then my father was pissing me off. He insultingly referred to
me as ‘Freddy’, as if making a comparison between ——, which
I didn't ask him to elaborate on, but I apparently made the as-
sumption that I was being compared to Freddy Kreuger. And
I got pissed off at what he was saying to me, but then the girl
spoke up saying "You're essentially just as guilty. You're doing
the opposite of what you're mad at him for doing, but that's
just as bad,” or saying I was doing the same thing... and so I
grew enraged thinking she was taking his side, so I just had
a ‘you know what...’ kind of moment and turned around, like
"That’s it,” and went stomping off in the opposite direction after
turning the other way. When the girl saw what I was doing she
took off running after me, like "Oh no-no-no. Come on now,
come on,” in a ‘damnit-this-can't-be-happening-please-don't-do-
this-to-me’ sort of voice.
Then she says to me “All that skin of yours is going to slip right
off your chicken bones!” I looked at her, not quite sure how to
interpret what she said. I wasn't sure if what she said came out
right or not, and it was somewhat insulting, yet I found it rather
cute the way she said it, and I looked at her with a smile. It was
charming, but sort of embarrassed, and then gave up, admitting
that I was behaving irrationally out of stress, and we began walk-
ing back together. I do not know if we were looking to rejoin my
father, or if we were just walking off together.
(Huge dream. Organize it better)*

“LOVELY INVALIDS”
03/02/2015
That guy Darren: he was like a fucking stereotype with his white
v-neck shirt, sitting around making comments "Dude, let's not
use our bodies to do this. Let's just be nicer without bullying."
We were all caught up in our bullying. I was hanging out in
this one guy’s dorm room. The lights were off and someone ap-
proached me and I couldn’t tell who they were and I accidental-
ly ripped off her bra, so apparently it was a girl. I was slithering
around on the floor and doing other dances.
They were trying to figure out which room to put me in at night.

I had to go under someone's bed... Jungle gym... Seeing zombie
robots in the trees. Weird dream... The person with the damaged
face and neck was there. I was talking to them. And then there
was that guy who had a thing wrong with his arm, and someone
made a joke I didn’t get, and I said "What... is it because of his
arm?" ‘Cause they made a joke about him not being able to do
something. But they weren't being mean. They were friends with
him. Weren’t trying to be mean. So he went away at that point.
We were just sitting there in this library area, all these messed up
people. This girl's neck was messed up since she was little. Her
face and neck... she couldn’t feel them at all. So these were the
only people I enjoyed myself around. They were all physically
messed up, but they were the only kind ones present.
I was staying in some campus that was known for its trickery, as
in people were always playing tricks on one another and other
mischief. Everyone was always sneaking around and behaving
suspiciously. As for me, I refused to sleep in beds, so I was always
sleeping underneath beds at night—underneath other people’s
1316
beds. In one instance, while sleeping under the bed of some ran-
dom girl, her friend came stomping in the room yelling “Is he in
here? YOU, GET OUT!” and she made me get out. And as I’m
leaving she says to me "Go sleep in your own room!” To which I
responded “You expect me to sleep under my own bed?" and I re-
member the facial expression she gave, like "Why the hell do you
have to sleep UNDER it?"
“MODIFICATIONS”
03/03/2015
• Heated punks... warm carrots... hahaha.
There was this vandal culture that was going on. I was a part of it.
There were certain aesthetics that were becoming part of it—cer-
tain colors and modifications and self-mutilation stuff. I don’t
know what I did exactly, but I inspired someone else’s modifica-
tions, and they got it on their body... whatever it was. I remember
trying to get my own modification, and I think they screwed it
up really badly.
1318
“BLUE SIGN”
03/04/2015 | 6:04 AM
There was that part of my dream where that place turned on its
blue sign really bright because it needed some police help, some
police attention. So we, me and my father and my mother had to
race to the scene because we were a police car. And right when
we pulled in the parking lot, another guy showed up with a po-
lice light on, and we’re like okay let’s turn ours off, another one
is here. But right as we were getting ready to do it, the other guy
did, and we were like awww man, so we had to do it after all. So
we had to go over to that place.
I had short fuchsia, maroonish hair. It was like pinkish, but it

wasn't pink pink... I had a tank top. My hair was like a lesbian
kind of cut. Most of the hair was buzzed and on top of it was just
like that bit that was just kind of brushed over. My dad was like
“Coming with me?”
“No, I'm not ready for that.”
“Come on,”
And I'm like “Fine wherever.”
I figured one's gonna recognize me anyway.
Oh yeah, Zach was in this dream, and then there was me apol-
ogizing to someone who I guess was his older brother for not
knowing enough about him be able to say anything. When I was
walking through Walmart, I had a girlfriend with me. And I was
carrying her on one arm, and I was just like, “She’s so skinny. I
wonder if I'm making her look too skinny by doing this. I wonder
1319
if she feels funny.” And so I held her in two arms. Even though I
was able to carry her in one. It’s weird because I was skinny too,
but I was somehow strong enough to lift her off the ground with
one arm.
I was walking towards the Walmart carrying her in my right arm,

and there were these two kids who died or something, some-
thing weird happened to them, and they made me a bracelet for
taking care of their dog one day. apparently there was this time
when they came over and they had to do something and I had
to take care of their dog and they gave me a bracelet for doing
a perfect job, they said. but then these kids died. it was a was a
brother and sister. They were cool too, as far as I know, they were
cool. But they gave me this bracelet. It was like black white and
brown, it had a bead on the end. Just a little handicraft. I remem-
ber pulling it out of a little baggie, like plastic, cellophane.
I just remember hearing the news that they were dead and I went
over to pull it out of its plastic and put it on my arm. And then
on the back It had a card that had a picture of them. And it said
“thank you for taking care of our dog.” And it was a checklist of
like all the things that I helped do and all the things I prevention
vi my care. And I was just a checklist saying I helped them avoid
doing this, this, this. The only one I remember was like “thanks
to me it didn't end up choking on anything.” That's the only one
that caught my eye.
These videos all over the wall, and maybe vinyls too. I had to ask
my dad to pick some up, because there was a couple that were like
spilled all over the place.
Wait, what was the thing... there was something about me not
being able to sleep, and then there was something where my
mom called me to look at something and she didn’t realize it was
pornographic looking. But it wasn't actually, but it looked like it

at first. That was uncomfortable. Just standing there like “Huh? I
need to get back to bed.” And she’s saying “No, check this our.”
And I couldn’t tell if she knew what was on the other part of that
page she was showing me, or videos, but it wasn’t actually bad.
That sign was so blue because it was waiting for the cops. it was
so blue. there was like little weird patches of blue all over the
place for like all the way up to the road. Because it was just like
so bright that it was just leaving like little blue radiation patches
or something. Like an accidental light overflow stuff.
Yeah, most this dream was spent with the W family or some-
thing. I don't remember anything we did. I just remember trying
to hang out with Zach and we ... there was nothing between us.
We weren’t compatible. Too much time passed. And I had a real-
ly goofy way of shaking his hand. But then they had like an older
brother there who was just a few years a little like five years older
and I just didn't. Yeah, he was being really nice. I just remember
apologizing “I just don't know enough about you. I wish I did.”
“DANCE TO THE JUDGMENT
OF FLAMES”
03/04/2015 | 5:02 PM
That guy recorded a song called “Dance to the Judgment of
Flames” something about how his house burned down. He didn't
want to be influenced negatively by the sight of his something.
So he want to be inspired by it.
There was also some stuff from like an hour ago that I need
to record right then so I'm pissed off because I can't remember
them. There was something about this gold and white thing that
I was on top of.
What was the thing my mother helped me with? There's some-

thing weird I was looking at, what was that... I was like sitting
there looking at this giant puzzle. But I don't know if it was a
puzzle. It was just something very strange. Like a tilt board, kind
of. It had facial features on it.
1322
“MIDDLE FINGERS FOR
MUSTACHES”
03/05/2015 | 3:55 AM
That girl was trying to get physical, but I was like, “You know,
this is not sex, right?” And then there was that guy to whom I
said “Oh, come on. Everyone's got some middle fingers for mus-
taches.” And he said “Nope, I’m afraid not.” And that was when
Ally was working a shift in that place, and I was asked her when
that guy over nearby, he was like, “What would he say if I went
by and, do you think he likes CAMAROS?” And I heard him
say that, and I’m thinking ‘What is this guy doing? He thinks that
that's funny to come over here and take one of the two remaining
cards. But if he takes that one, I’m taking this one. And I'm gonna
write a message that says “Go get busy, artists!” or something and
send it back there. Because they are not running the shop well if they
only got like two postcards left on the thing.” I ripped that one out
because Ally was looking at it and she kept mispronouncing it.
“That's how you pronounce it every time?!”
“Yeah.”
“Then you know what, I’m taking this out.” And some people
around me laughed because they heard it.
There was a float going down the street before, a little while back.
And then there was that part where there was all three rooms
and there was me and that girl getting it on... I don't know what
to even call that. That was like a dream and a dream, or I knew
it was a dream. And I was trying to film what was going on. It
was really, really weird and erotic. I don't know. I mean, it proba-
bly isn’t as bad as you’re thinking. I’m Tendon. My standards are
1323
different. But that was kind of awkward, though. I’m like “You
know I’m not having sex right?” And I'm like, “What happened
last time?” And she says “I just got you really aroused”
“Well what did I do? Did I get you aroused?”
And she responded with something weird like “No, but you
tried.”
It was so awkward and I was so uncomfortable. I was just kind

of playing along with the things she was saying. But I was so un-
comfortable.
I kept having to piss, so I kept running off to the bathroom, and

it was annoying because it was a bathroom that had two ways
to enter, so I kept having to go around to lock and unlock all
the doors. And I forget what she was doing. She was looking at
something. I kept being like “Sorry, gotta piss,” every time we
started getting close. We weren’t doing anything together. It was
just talked about. But every time she looked like she was about
to do something to me I jumped up like that.
At the end of that dream a black guy looks at me and another guy
and we're all getting up and leaving. It was like the people that
had been here from the start. He made a comment like “You to
go get back to your pictures.” And I’m like “Those are not real!
Well, the one with me was and that was joke.” He's like, “Sure,
sure” He gets up and says “I ain’t ever been caught with pictures
like that.” And I said “It wasn’t real!” I forgot what it was but it
looked really compromising. “Sure you’ve taken compromising
photos!”
“No I haven’t.”
“Oh come on, everyone’s got a ‘middle finger that looks like a
mustache’ picture.”
“‘Fraid not,” and he was chuckling to himself and goes walking

out of the room. He was already on the way out, gathering l all of
his stuff
There someone who wanted to be governor or mayor. There was

a woman, too. Something that I was doing was affecting some-
one's chances to win an election or something that the kid did. I
don't know if I was a kid or not.
Oh my gosh, there was that time when I found that book of

things people save. Oh, there's that time me and Asia and the
trees. We were out there in the yard talking about mom and dad
and how dad tries, he fails, but he tries, you know he's different
from mom in the sense that he's not all bad. I'm just saying stuff
like that, but me and Asia were ripping down trees saying “This
would be good for this.” I forget what we were doing. We're just
like ripping off three branches and like smelling or something,
saying “These smell weird!”. It was in the Charldon back yard by
her cherry blossom tree.
I remember me and her going inside. And it was like after a youth
retreat. And I just remember pulling up something. Someone left
an envelope there, or I found it in the floor. And I’m like, oh my
gosh, what is this. And I picked it up. And someone had been
documenting. The envelope was filled with a bunch of other days
when I wasn't here. But they were like previous ... it wasn't just as
simple as that. There was something about them that was more
than what the person who's doing that realized they were. they
thought they were just apparently documenting the days I wasn't
present at this place. But they had taken stuff from a few differ-
ent dream attempts that never actually happened now, because
of what I did. I'm like, “Oh my gosh, t this is a mess up here.

This is not supposed to happen. How did this happen?!” And
so there were things that shouldn't even been in this dream any-
more because the dream got replaced ... that part got replaced
with something else, or it repeated and that part was done away
with. I don't know, it was so weird. I'm looking at it and seeing all
these things that shouldn't exist, thinking ‘wow.’ It was just sev-
eral things from days that no longer existed. It was really weird.
I was really just stunned by the kindness of the person who took
the time to do it for me. I'm like wow, what a nice person. There
were drawings and notes to self that weren’t even applicable any-
more.
I remember there being a flashback to a scene with me sitting in

the living room right around the couch on the right side of the
couch, near the bookshelf and window area. Well, I guess that
would be the CD shelf area, too. I remember being around there
and talking about some t-shirt.
There was like a few minute video clip that I saw while I was
doing something else. Of me standing over there going through
some shirts. And I was like oh man, so old! And they were like
“not old, from 2010!” were
I had this big signboard that I was holding that said something
like “Rumble me if I go insane again.” I was painting that sign,
sitting in the middle of the living room, and it was supposed to
be 2010. I was all excited. It said “RUMBLE ME...” and there
was a weird pause before returning, “IF I GO INSANE
AGAIN!”
It was weird being with that girl and explaining to her that we
never had sex before. “Wait, what are you expecting me to do?
I’m not having sex.”
“Yeah, okay.”
“And we didn't have sex last time. You know that, right?”
“Yeah, I know that.”
“Then what did we do?”
And he she had some weird answer like “I just got you going
strong.”
For some reason I was just worried that she thought we had sex
when we didn’t, though I guess she would know that.
I had my video camera rolling the whole time, and she never said
anything, which was weird, because she was like, topless. And
I wasn't trying to film her. It's just like, I never stopped film-
ing from like, an hour before. And she was just undressing. So I
thought uhh, this is weird, should I shut this off.
What was that fight we all got in with that rich mother? Oh, that
bass. I brought in my bass, seeing this guy I used to know, he’s sit-
ting there with a bass too. I jump over and I’m about to put my
bass down and his mom starts mocking my bass. And then she
was also like “Oh you better not hang my son’s bass” because I
almost hit it when I was walking by, with my own. And she was
saying things like “Ew, is this what happens to a bass? Is this how
damaged you can get it? That is not a bass.” And then she was ask-
ing where I got it, and I said “This is from Spain.” And she's like
“Spain!!!” And she continues going on and on about how mine
is not a real bass, and how it was just shitty quality. She doesn't
know anything. She's just saying that to make it look like she re-
ally did something nice for her son by buying him a really nice
one. So I ask “Well, where’s his bass from?!” I forget her answer.
Something beginning with an I. And I was like “Where the hell
is that, and why is that it any better than Spain? She didn’t even
know where it was. I have no idea why I even said Spain. So I was
finally like “Just stop it. It’s a good bass and I bought it because I
liked it. And in that time, I wanted to be Hispanic.” I don’t know
if I said that part out loud but I was thinking it.
That was so funny when everyone was standing around in that

diner doing pranks. I was just with that girl that looked like Ally
and she just was mispronouncing words. I forget what happened
right before that. But I was. Oh, yeah, I also woke up at one
point. And, dammit, it was as I was taking a piss and it was tak-
ing me a really long time to get back to her. “With all this walk-
ing around that I’m doing I’m gonna wake up for sure.” It was as
lucid as can be. And I just remember thinking ‘Jeez, what am I
going to do here?’ Because I had to go get back to that girl and I
was just walking around the bathroom thinking what am I do-
ing? And while I was staring at the bathroom wall... Oh and my
piss was really yellow too like I was dehydrated. I remember star-
ing at the walls of the bathroom, all those patterns and just the
lighting and everything, and something about the patterns on
the wall took away my confidence in my ability to maintain the
dream. I was staring at the wall going “I’mmmm losing it, I’m
losing it.” And it started cross fading into reality. “Dammit, no!
Dammit, no!” I kept fighting. I got about like 80% in reality and
then pulled l myself back in, clenched my eyes shut and distract-
ed myself by focusing on something else in the dream. So I stayed
in the dream with the plot change and so I was able to escape
from that almost-sex-scene.
I was was pronounce the word when we're looking at the cards.
We’re looking at the post cards. She had a shift that started at like
10 at night. I was talking to her about it, but I remember feeling
like I was playing along with something like I wasn't being sin-
cere. I was putting on an act. I don't know if it was for her or for
the people around me, but there was something very crucial they
did not know about me, who I was, what I was doing. I just re-
member putting on an act and being really nice and just it was
kind of like... I was being more playful than I really remember
feeling at the time, and I don't think that's all there was to it.
But then I heard someone laugh when... I think someone else

gave me the idea, like, like I heard one of the old ladies sitting
nearby heard me say “is that how you pronounce that word?” I
think it had a bird or animal on the cover. The card was like semi-
transparent. It was plastic. Then the woman was like “Better not
let her get that card.” And so then I was like “That’s it,” ripped it
out of the display and I stuck it on the counter. I think of I may
have broken it a little bit or ripped it. And I could hear the old
lady like “Ooooooh.”
Earlier there was a black woman who got up in my face and start-
ed spouting bullshit in my face. I think it was a bunch of stupid
Christian stuff and I got so upset.
But then after those old couples heard me doing that thing, one
of them started playing his own games with me. He wasn’t, but
he thought he was. I could hear him working it all out. He nev-
er took anything. He's like, “Oh, I wonder if he likes Camaros.”
Because there's only two cards remaining. And one of them was
a picture of an orange Camaro. I don't even know what the other
one was. There were normally so many different art cards here,
postcards, but now they're all down. So he’s mumbling to himself
“So I wonder what he’s gonna do if I take this Camaro. Does he
like Camaros?” And he’s referring to me. I’m wondering if this
guy is high or something. He’s gotta be in his late sixties and he
thinks he’s being funny, continuing my little joke from before. I
think he thought that by taking that card it would force me to

take the last one, like this was some kind o game. But then I was,
like I said, I was gonna send one of these postcards to the artists
out back, saying “GET TO WORK, ARTISTS!”
Yeah, there's just one people sit in this place and they're all dis-
missed at one point. At first it was like a diner but then later
on, it seemed more like a town hall. And everyone was sitting
down and we got dismissed. And so the people up front. They're
all standing up and we're making comments to each other. That’s
when I made the comments to that black guy sitting in front of
me, joking about the pictures. was made can joke about my via
the pictures
“UNCLE DON”
03/07/2015
[Unable to locate original entry]*
1331
“BEDROCK”
03/08/2015 | 5:43 AM
I was digging in the ground. I hit the bottom of the earth and I
couldn’t go any further. [Unable to locate original entry]*
1332
“SUNGLASSES”
03/10/2015 | 6:59 PM
I was trying to hide behind my sunglasses. Someone kept telling
me to take them off, and I kept trying to wear them and I
couldn’t.
1333
“DRUNK DAD AND TAXI”
03/10/2015 | 7:05 PM
I remember getting into a taxi. I feel like there's also a large truck
but that might have just been the taxi. I couldn't get down the
road. I was walking down the road with my father and I wasn't
able to get any further because of something. my father was too
drunk or something. There was a mall somewhere and I was in
a mall and my father was way too drunk to keep taking me and
my sister someplace. And it was very very upsetting. I made him
stop at the side road and I got out and there was like taxi going
by and so I called it over. I wasn’t wearing shoes so I worried he
wouldn’t take me. The taxi was huge inside.
I ended up going around to many places. Best Buy? Or some-

thing else that was yellow and blue. Before all this stuff, there was
more group meetings going on, groups of people hanging out in
this one place, and I think there was just... I remember being in
this big room and she was there and I was just being very posses-
sive or protective. Not in a bad way. I don’t really remember our
relationship. But I was so into it. We kept saying we would meet
up in a certain place. I don't know how close we were. We had
planned to meet up at a certain point at the end of the dream.
But that thing happened where they disappeared. She went out
with a lot of girls and ... the girls and guys separating into the
groups. I think that’s when I got pissed, because I wasn't getting
along with the guys. I remember them disappearing and wonder-
ing where the hell did they go? Like are they outside? Why did
why would they leave? Did they leave the property? There were
some cute parts that I'm trying to remember. Like we were sleep-
ing and she's just laying her head on me. We were staying over in
1334
a camp like setting. And we just fell asleep with our heads resting
on each other. But there was so much more to it.
There was a part where I was at Londonberry, and I was on my

computer and there was a bunch of people spend the night sleep-
ing over on the couches and stuff. And that girl was sleeping on
the couch right next to me behind the computer. I don't know
what happened but I was just sitting up all night doing some-
thing. And I just kept turning around saying something to her. I
forget what. I don't know remember what was going on. She fell
asleep at one point, but then I woke her up. And we were sitting
there talking. I really wish I remembered more of what was going
on there. I just remember I was sitting at that computer chair for
a while she was just right near by me. Either sleeping or going in
and out of sleep. And kind of just like seeing what I was doing.
There was just a lot of times when we were driving together, rid-
ing together or just like... it wasn't an intimate relationship. But
we were just... we were always trying to get away with each other.
And then of course, the classic “end up separated and can't find
her in the end.”
And I just remember I was I was totally lucid. Because I remem-

ber when my sister started making some comments. My sister
was pretending to help me out with something. I asked for her
help with something and she said “sure, show me your arm” and
then she like grabbed hold of it and like, clamp down on it with
I don't even know what but she had a bracelet on. And it was
like a really weird steel bracelet and I just broke it. I ripped it off
somehow and broke it, because somehow that sent her into like a
frenzy and she like malfunction or something. I think that's what
happened. I'm not sure, it sounds a little weirder than what I re-
member. But I'm not sure. That's kind of what's coming to mind.
But yeah, I just remember that. I was like, I'm not letting you
fuck around with what's going on with me and my search, and

I’m not letting this dream end on this note. I remember I was
just like, where she did she go, outside? Did they leave the prop-
erty? Are they inside in a weird room? I was looking inside the
house and weird rooms of the house first. And I just couldn't find
where the group of girls went.
I remember going outside at one point and Asia was standing

and she's like, “I'll help you,” then she flipped out. And it was a
trick. And she went off some weird rant. I don't know what she
was saying. She had some kind of bracelet on and I like ripped it
off and said “No! I will not allow myself to be woken up yet, I
need to figure this the fuck out!”
“DRUMS”
03/11/2015 | 6:53 AM
That guy was about to hit something so before he started punch-

ing something he went “Hey, hold this” took out his brain and
handed it to someone.
I remember Will was in my dream. I was at Will’s house. There

was gonna be some kind of thing going on late at night so I just
showed up at his house suddenly. I was wearing a Soilwork shirt
but I was wearing something else over top of it.
I remember him making a comment like, “I've only been sur-

prised once in my something something, and the last time was
today.” “What do you mean?” I was trying to figure out if he was
talking about this—what was currently happening.
I was walking around outside. There was some kind of outdoor

show going on. What was that thing where people were slipping
and sliding around?
I remember getting on his drum set at one point. “Can I check

out your double bass? Not sure if mine is hooked up right and
I want to see how this feels. I think he said no, but eventually I
was sitting there going over his stuff. I remember a timer count-
ing down, I guess the show.
It was just a really weird limp light feeling. Other things hanging
on his drums too on the side of them like to give extra weight or
do something weird
1337
I just heard my dad going “Something controls the shop we do.

Come on mom, was to dream?” It sounds like he was explaining
something and then he broke out like Come on mom. Where's
the dream? Then he was talking to me about the video game con-
sole.
I remember I built the refrigerators in Will’s house very tall. I

broke several things of his accidentally like when I first walked in
this house, and I heard his mom yelling from her upstairs bed-
room.
Me and Will were sitting there for a while in his house, then just
ran around his front yard or some place across the street where
that stuff was happening. I think he slipped in a ditch and got
hurt. Yeah, he went over and slipped in something. I don't know.
And then this guy was really pissed because he was standing
there when it happened so I tried to pull him out but I couldn’t
so he tried to pull him out too, joined me. Then he slipped on
the pond and hurt himself, and then he slipped and hurt himself
again, just being really reckless
I kept trying to be around to help him up but I felt there were

enough other people around to help them up so it was kind of
weird because I was still trying to be the one that did it. Even
though there were so many others who could, like if he fell, it
wouldn't go unnoticed, and so he was in no danger, but I still was
trying to beat them to it, but it was no use.
I just remember stuff about the refrigerators. I remember looking

down at one point while outside looking down at my Soilwork
shirt and thinking maybe I should have worn Will’s band’s shirt
under my hoodie just so I could be all “ha ha!”
“ENTRAPMENT”
03/11/2015 | 8:45 AM
Really creepy freaky fucking dream where that girl trapped me

in that house and I couldn't get out. There was that dog out in-
side the yard. And I was previously with like some church people.
We were riding home on the highway with my mom on a sofa
with no seat belts and nothing like that. We were gonna stop in
this big forest right in the middle of our trip. And because there
was like this woman ruler over that forest... I was like have you
ever met these people? Did we not stop there on the way? And
so I was gonna stop and say hi. I don't remember what happened.
I don't think that's anywhere near where this was. I don't know
how happened what we ended up at this place that I couldn't get
out of. And when everyone else left I was stuck. And it was this
little shop that I just couldn't escape. I was like printing up these
photos of babies in the back and that's like all I was able to do,
and I remember going outside and I was chained. If I walked to
far in the backyard...
There was a presence inside that house that was constantly

pulling me and draining me, and they were constantly trying to
get me to do things. I didn't see them though. They were trying
to get me to... First I was trying to lay a frame on the floor or
something, printing up a giant image and trying to make a frame.
I don't know what the hell that was. That's what was doing right
before I woke up.
So creepy. And a little while before this we were at a store. There

were rocks there. We were all walking through and some of the
1339
guys disappeared, and someone asked “where are two of the

guys?”. That’s when I said something about Patrick suicide. I said
something like, “Yeah, it was only a few months before Patrick’s
suicide and I remember seeing him in the store.” It was just
Lowe's or some kind of store. I remember when I spoke about
Patrick’s suicide my mom whispered “HEY!” And Im like oh my
gosh, it didn't happen yet. And I just... I'm saying this before it
happened. I remember the look on their faces. I just kept talk-
ing, but about now I knew I needed to be a little bit sensitive. I'm
like, Yeah, last time I saw him in the store. I didn't want to see
him and so I didn't want him to see the way I looked. So I threw
reindeer mask over my head and talked to him like that. And I
was explaining like, yeah, I didn't want him to see what I had be-
come.
I remember trying to describe the way I felt, why I felt it neces-

sary to put on the mask. I'm like, “you see it's like it's not that
I think he's greater than me, but it's just that I'm greater than
him in the sense of something something, but in the sense that
something,” and They never really understood was trying to say,
I wasn't able to get it out. I just remember the guys were looking
at me really weird because ever since I said the thing about this
being the last time I saw Patrick, they got suspicious.
The other guys who we were with were already outside. I was ask-
ing “Where are all the guys that we came with?”
“What guys?”
“Those guys.”
Then I see them come back to through the door.
Those two, plus Asia and my mom. I don’t know if we were sit-
ting on the actual sofa but controlling it. We got on this sofa and
went flying back across the country. That was weird. And I was
just like, I just kept thinking, ‘This is so strange. There's no seatbelt.’
Man. There was that police officer. Yeah. This was like towards
the beginning, though. I was with those two girls. And that po-
lice officer came up to us. I was like talking with those girls. A
police officer showed up, came up to us. I was out on the deck
looking for some girl. I was like, ‘hey, how are you guys?’ My
mom was looking for some R&B artist that wasn't real in real life.
She was just making sure that someone didn't leave. So I went
out on the deck and I’m asking if they’re such and such person.
She's like, “Yeah, I’m their manager.” Two women. Probably like
in their late 20s.
I'm like, “You guys leaving?”
They're like, “Yeah, I don't know.” They're talking about how they
don't like parties like this. They just come and they keep getting
themselves groped and grabbed. And I'm like, “Yeah, I'm sorry
about that. I don't really know. I mean, these places are kind of
known for that kind of stuff. And so I wish I could help out. But
that's what happens here.” And I felt bad for them. Just some big
party. We had like a lot of sleazy celebrity types. And there was
some cops showed up. He gave the two girls a warning, then he
looked at me right before we left. He simulated a gun with his
finger, you know, he just pointed, like a gun with his hand. He
smiles. He puts the gun hand against my head. Didn’t make a
sound, but simulated shooting. Then he walks away to his car.
I'm like, “What the hell?“ I'm just standing with those girls trying
to figure it out. “That guy just made a gun out of his hand, pre-
tended to shoot me and smiled and walked away and then stared
at me once on his way back to his truck.” I told that to my dad
when my dad walked by around that same time.
Anyway, it was like 10 or so of us going around to different shops

and stuff throughout the dream.
Whatever that girl in the house was doing was creepy. I had to
use the bathroom really bad and there was no toilet, so I had to
go on newspaper like a dog, in the back room. And I remember
it felt like she was omnipresent. It felt like she was always every-
where. It was really creepy. I remember seeing photographs of her
too, and I was really hoping she'd be more attractive than that.
But she was creepy. And she had like weird shirt on with a penta-
gram. And she was in the woods, laughing. In the pictures I saw.
And I was like man, I was hoping she'd be a little bit hotter in the
face.
But every time did something I felt her watching me, and I felt
myself being pulled into something. It was so creepy because I
didn’t know what she would make me do. When a door would
open up I'd see her standing there. I never actually saw her stand-
ing there but I knew she was there the whole time. So creepy
“BEACH TEMPLE”
03/12/2015 | 8:16 AM
There was that weird dream I just had where me and my father
were running around this giant place.
Okay, and with that weird, completely unrelated story about that
boy, that just got dropped off. The police were looking for some-
one. I was looking to find the boardwalk or the ocean building,
the beach building I was in before, where the most the dream
happened. I don't know how I got separated from that place. But
I was looking again and I kept stumbling upon all these videos
I was looking through some crime thing. And I was like, okay,
women over here died from crying. Women over here died from
crying. And I was seeing all these videos of a cop passing by,
“Oooh, ain’t gonna cry like that. Ooh, I ain’t never gonna cry
like that.” And then this other guy helping out another family.
He said “Yeah, this kid drove me up here.” “A kid? Who sent
you up here?” “This little kid. He's like, six to ten years old.” He
had a British accent and when I walked in the kid goes “Mm-
HMM! Mm-HMM.” And he says “He seems like he's a bit dif-
ferent, different from everyone else, because he he says he's got
some weird disorder.” I don’t think it was a legit disorder, seemed
like mocking America. They’re like “Ooooh, that’s him. He runs
the restaurant down there. And so he drove here?” And he's like
“Yeah.l So he was talking to like a family owned another restau-
rant.
So anyway, there was a huge beast unleashed in this temple build-

ing by the ocean. And me and my dad there, there was all of this
stuff with my dad not fighting him. And we were going to get
prepared. Okay, this was after, there was two, I think it all be-
1343
gan when there was two giant trucks in the back building. And I
was gonna go inside one of them. And I just remember later on
that truck got blown up. I was like, Oh, my gosh, I was gonna
go in the other one. And right next to it. And that was creepy
when I went back down on that floor, and I could see all the
different different tanks, military tanks and different things just
going crazy in that yard. Because this demons had like broken
loose, and he was like, taking control of people and the machin-
ery. It was creepy, but it was it was like this Greek god or some-
thing fighting his way through the temple. And it was just crazy.
I just remember we're like, okay, he's gonna be at this room in
a little while. And so we were like, Okay, if he makes his room,
that means he killed everyone else, which looks likely. So by the
time he gets there, let's be ready for him. So I went and got these
knives. First we I was like, okay, what about these! They were like
these narrow gloves that like knives hooked to them or some-
thing they were perfect for like, the knives are like, inserted way
where it's like you stab down. I don't know, it was weird. But ap-
parently I walked away without inserting the knife into it. It had
been inserted, I don't know. And I went and looked on the oth-
er side. It was kind of in the air, where we were, and we had to
go up a big flight of stairs to get up here. And there was like, the
stairs were down the center. And so there's department service
department. It felt like an opera house kind of weird place. But
it was kind of like a fish harbor or beachside harbor. Very, very
strange. At least that's the outside look like fish harbor thing. I
don't know. And so I just remember looking through... there's all
that stuff about me when I was like, Okay, Dad, can you do this
part for me? Then it was like a video game for a second. Appar-
ently he wanted to change the color of his outfit, but didn't know
if black really was what he... if this was black or not. And so he
skipped it. But then when he was me, he was like okay, I’m just
gonna try it, because my account was of no consequence to him.

So he puts on the black armor, and he's like, man, it looks good.
And then he walked away. And so now it's all black. And he
wanted me back but it was like, man, it was just what he wanted
but he passed up on it. So now he was wearing like black armor.
And he was he was over there. We were getting different weapons
and strategies. I just remember at one point he went charged into
it. He left and went right to the temple to go fight the thing even-
tually we were preparing for so long fight it was a giant guy it
was crazy looking looks like Zeus. We were running through the
temple on a rampage. Im like we’re not gonna freakin make it,
and I'm like I don't want to have all these weapons on me because
then he’ll turn them against me, like, this thing in my hand? He’s
just gonna rip that away from me and stab me it with it if he
doesn’t just crush me first.
So somehow I got sent out of the building at one point. I don't

know how. I forget that part. Wait there was something weird
wrong my face. Forget what it was. scars or acne or whatever. I
don't know.
I remember going “Why did he go ahead? I could have gone with

him.” And my mom asked “what's the purpose of going with
him?”And I’m just like “we could have done that together. the
odds would have been in our favor for us to not only do it to-
gether, but we could have helped each other out.” And I took off
running in that direction. She's like, “Wait, why would you do
that? he's gonna win anyway.” And I'm like, “Can you stop being
so sure!”
It didn't make sense for him to just take off and be like “if I fail
then you could have your turn.” Not how I want want to do it.
If we can’t do it together then it’s not bearable. military already
fuckin failed. Why would he go alone? I mean, we can trick the

thing.
Yeah, we kind of just walked around like, we were just erratically

just trying and looking for things to add weapons and suits and
stuff. There was some guy who was talking to us up top. What
was that thing with the reporter? I guess this was before the
whole part.
I think there was more stuff with that truck. But I remember
when I was going downstairs and I was pretending different
things. this is from the time when I had to walk by and I laid
eyes on that thing as it was gone through. I was like “Oh, shit,
oh, shit get to shelter” because I had to walk through the temple,
where he was busting down walls. And so I walked right by this
guy while he was preoccupied with other things... The deity, de-
mon devil thing. I was like Oh, geez. And I just remember car-
rying on these diversions with these other people. And I just re-
member one where I was suddenly sitting in an office. I'm like,
“Okay, ma’am, I'll come up and assist you with your baby.” And
someone was like “What? Assist her with her hand?” And so I go
“Psst, play along, play along.” And it was like me and three oth-
er people, two women and one guy and we were like... some of
them worked with the nurses registration. Doctors something.
I think they were all nurses. I'm not sure. And they were awe-
some, but they're also like receptionists. I don't even remember.
some of them were a lot of things. So when that guy went by I
was like pretending do this. We wanted to use this as a way of
getting through some kind of security, because there was a lot of
guys that worked for this creepy guy also, like his whole team of
disciples was down with them.
Very creepy. Bright temple, though. It's almost like a museum.

There wasn't really anything on the walls but it had a look to it.
So I say temple but it was really just a place where a lot of nice
things were displayed and it was just bright and white and big.
But it was by the coast, so definitely had beachy feel to it.
I don't know what happened at the end where I got separated

from this place, and I had to find my way there all over again. So
I was walking through the streets looking and I accidentally fil-
tered my search for like people who died something something
and so I was going by, seeing all these people who died in certain
ways. as single as you done certain ways. Then I accidentally
searched the area for people... I don't know what happened but
I was looking over everyone tells me... it was show me where all
the deaths that have recently happened and how they died and
so many of them were from crying, like there's one over here cry-
ing, this one over here crying. I was riding my bike or something,
past all these alleys that just said “crying” where a person would
have been.
I don't know if I ever talked to that kid or not. I don't know if

that was even me in the interview. I just know that there was
somebody talking to these people and they're like “How’d you
find us?” like this family working at this little family owned shop,
and I’m like “the kid down there,a few blocks down at the bot-
tom, you know, six year old kid” apparently it wasn't a six year
old boy, I guess it was just a weird. He had like, some disease that
made him look a certain way. was like a weird looking weird kid
who is six years old when I was like 20 or 30 years old. It just was
talking about it was just weird. Maybe it wasn’t me talking.
But what I took away from that was that this was some kind of
making fun of America, that kid or something. Just all these dif-
ferent diseases and things and entertainment and habits that we

don't realize are so stupid and pointless or non existent that we
still adopt anyway. It was kind of like “only in America” thing.
That was so creepy when that thing blew up, start blowing holes
in the wall. There was just tanks everywhere. that was towards
the beginning of the dream. I was in a different rooms back then.
that was like the basement. There was like dozens and dozens of
people freaked out. There's couples who were together and just
freaked out. I was like, Oh my gosh, I knew that my parents were
somewhere else. And I was like, I was gonna hide that truck over
there. But he just blew up the other one. So I kept thinking ‘Do I
get in this?’ I was still trying to devise a plan about getting in the
truck that he didn't blow up, like in the back of it because it was
a cargo truck. But I think someone advised me against that for
some reason.
He was freaky though. And those walls just got blown through
with explosives, and he definitely had henchmen running around
like little disciples whose crew was killing. It's just I was like
preparing for so long. I’m like “okay time to get the weapons”
and my father didn’t trust me with the weapons and I was walk-
ing around that glove for so long without realizing that I didn’t
stick the blade in it.
There was also a part where I was referring to how I was going to
need a new doctor, or a dentist. My father and I were discussing
doctors while setting up for battle.
“BARRELS UP”
03/12/2015 | 6:50 PM
I was online doing something and there were some posts where
someone was asking for help with something, or requesting some
medical insights, and I was explaining the issues I was having,
and people were able to rate your content based on how well-for-
mulated or how relevant to something my topic was. And so they
got to rate it from one to ten, and you could see how they rated
it.
This was all on my page. This is not like a public area. This is like
on my page, only I could see it. So some guy who I don't know
just comes here and adds like a “Eh, something something some-
thing.” Something really dumb that doesn't really contribute any-
thing to what I was saying. It just was like critiquing nothing at
all. And gives a score of like three out of 10. I’m like what the
fuck? And I got really murderous. Just like really murderous. Ap-
parently, even at the time, this was not fresh. I was thinking this
had happened a little while ago but I wasn’t able to control it
anymore, to maintain myself, so I was looking around to see what
else he did. And I found out he was like a high school kid or
something I was just looking for information about him. And I
saw one post like “what would drive you kill people?” or “what
goes on in your head something something?” I don't know. And
he didn't really answer the questions like he was supposed to. but
he's like “I just have a song by this band in my head” and it just
says something about some barrel like a gun barrel like barrels
up! Barrels up! I don't know he just kept repeating the same two
words over and over again. Like it was a reference to a gun barrel
aimed at someone’s head. And then he made a comment about
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that is what would be playing in his sick and twisted head, and
I’m like thinking ‘You think your head is sick and twisted, huh?’
I was getting so mad, because he just shows up out of nowhere
on my own page, gives me a poor rating for no reason and then
leaves.
There was something else in my dream too where I remember I

was lying in bed having a hard time getting asleep. I was lying in
what looked like Asia’s room in New Jersey. And I was just lying
there trying to fall asleep, clutching on to a fishbowl. And the
fishbowl had some weird objects in it. I don't remember exactly
what they were but, for example, like a tube of toothpaste and a
pack of staple gun staples. Weird stuff like that. And then I was
trying to fall asleep, I couldn't and I kept clutching it. And so I
was like Screw that. And so I got up and I went into Asia’s room,
like where she was sleeping, which looked very similar to the
room I was just in and and she was asleep and I was seeing what
she was doing with something I let her have. Like I had these an-
imals that were in this little thing. And I asked her to take care of
them. And so I guess I was using this fishbowl and stuff to kind
of simulate the animals and test out and see how good she would
do with them by seeing how good I did with this fishbowl. I don't
know if they were in a fishbowl with her also, but she was sleep-
ing with these things. I don't know. And so I came to see how she
was doing with them, and she was doing well with them. So I'm
like, Hey, not bad, they're still alive. And then I think I woke her
up and said something was weird.
“MYSTIC PLACES”
03/13/2015 | 8:01 AM
Low voices chanting “Ahhhhh! Mystic places at dawwwwn!”
Wait, isn’t that a metal album? I had just stepped into a cave and
I heard someone singing that. But before I went in I knew that
there would be some ominous chanting and magic. This was a
while after I was talking with a guy about the different things
that you could find in places like this.
I was a CD peddler or some kind of merch peddler going around

in the dark, selling people things, but eventually I ran out and let
someone take care of it. That sounds nothing like what I was ac-
tually doing, but it’s the only way I can think of describing it. I
was going around in dark caves and stuff like that giving people
merchandise. I think. Ah, I’m confused.
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“ESCORT”
03/14/2015 | 4:23 PM
...Right before waking, Daniel was escorting me out of the build-
ing. I'm saying Geez dude, the way you're holding is gonna make
people think that I stole something
This is right after getting out of that... I had been inside that place
with the construction rigs and the different hooks and wires
hanging from the ceiling. I had been alone in the construction
sector for a while at night and I was never able to make good
use of it for some reasons but I was finally getting outside. The
doors were starting to open. Then I was just like if only I wasn’t
so bored from something something I would have a decent re-
flection. Afraid my reflection would be taken away. So I went to
the store, looked at something, an advertisement that said “Look
and be the start of... (falling asleep)
I remember when those things started going off, all those con-
struction things, I was thinking ‘Why haven’t I been filming my-
self playing in here for the last year or more?’ It was so cool. It
was like the factory and then everyone started coming to it, all
these workers, after who knows how long it's been. But there was
something about a tape as the dream was coming to end. Some-
one slowed the tape down. That’s what my waking up was. Some-
one slowed down the tape.
There was the part where me and that girl walking late at night,
we were returning back from the festivities and places where we
came from at night and just, yeah, there's like a little party going
on, returning back from it, and we're walking down this narrow,
dark strip. It kind of like a little garden and I remember she was
1352
wearing some kind of helmet, or another person who we saw is

used who was wearing a helmet go racing. And she said it was
like, cathartic for her to see that maybe, or I don't know how she
felt about it, if it made he feel cathartic or Jen ash, because it re-
minded her of something that happened to her friends that was
weird. That was weird, because I was able to see a scene that hap-
pened but I wasn't really able to see anything. I don't know.
Later on again I was walking. I was walking and I found myself

walking alone down this very same garden strip and I realized I
was the girl. No, I don’t know if I was the girl or simply dressed
as her, like with an automobile helmet and long hair. And when
I looked like this, I remember getting a little freaked out and
thinking, ‘Wait, what am I?’ and then I started singing a little bit,
very gently and really high pitched—even higher than my Ten-
don Levey stuff. That’s when I walked into this big, bright in-
dustrial garage where my father worked. I walked inside and he
was standing there working with some tools on something and
asks “What are you doing here?” And I respond casually, “Ah-
hh, nothing, I'm just walking through wondering if that sounded
as good as I thought it sounded,” and he goes “Uhhh, save this
for later,” in an irate voice. “Then can I have your boom box?” I
asked, and he said no and told me about everything always being
in pieces in a drawer or having to set something up, and I made
some weird comment, which was almost like echoing something
he said but was more casual.
“I HATE THIS WORLD”
03/14/2015 | 6:15 PM
Kinda like the Londonberry downstairs room. Me and my
mother were standing around. My sister came and she had these
recipes. She had these special cakes and I was gonna ignore her at
first but then she's like, check this out and I couldn’t keep from
complimenting them. At first I was trying to ignore her, though.
It was someone’s birthday, maybe. I remember she said some-

thing that was kinda weird. Like it wasn’t someone’s birthday un-
til nighttime, but that's not what she's actually implying. That's
just like what we got to be like, Oh, is it nighttime? Yeah, just like
the fact that in real life, that's kind of what we tend to do.
The dream ended with that really weird part. When I'm standing
there, in the basement of the house, looking out of the glass win-
dow into the yard and I just see, you know, Tokyo I guess, you
know, cocker spaniel, as his bird fly by. And while it's flying by,
the dog jumps up, grabs it pulls it down. And then this other
animal comes with the cocker spaniel. Not a big animal a lit-
tle animal, about the size of cocker spaniel, and they just start
pulling apart. Its wings. It wasn't very vivid way they were pulling
it apart. It was more realistic, just like bite bite. But I turned away
so that I didn’t see, and I fell on my knees. And I started weeping.
I was like, “I hate this world. I hate this world so much. I really
hate this world.” And my mother was shocked by what I was do-
ing. “What are you doing?” Because she witnessed it all too, but
didn’t share in my emotions, and saw me falling down.
“What are you doing?”
1354
“I hate it. I can’t stand it. Why does this stuff happen.”
This was as we're watching this giant thing walk around our yard.
It wasn't giant but it seemed like bigger that was supposed to be,
considering what animal it was. I remember it just seemed like
it should have been a little smaller. And I'm like, “it's like the
size of this” and she's like, “like an ant-eater?” And go “I dun-
no, I guess.” it was just some walking around. that's what we're
all doing. That's what I was doing anyway. I was watching it walk
around.
Not sure what the house was that Asia came over and we were all
at. It was like an apartment. An incomplete building. And they
had people over and I was trying to ignore them. But she said
check this out. And she had like six or so of these Reese’s bowls or
crunch bowls, they were like a crispy candy bar bowl shell, with
something inside of it, and she was proud of it.
Was there something early early on when people went swim-

ming? And I went swimming too far out? To the edges of the
place, and I put myself in danger to do it.
“FIVE-FOOT BEE”
03/15/2015 | 7:20 AM
At the end me and dad crashed our walls into someone's house,
and then tried to sneak in to do something about it, but we got
caught. That was a huge mess. Another part right at the very end
of the dream right before I woke up, I was like “I've loved bees
for so much of my life now. But I am not allowing a five foot bee
to touch my back. I don’t know why I was saying it was five feet.
But there were these giant bees.
This was right after people got mad at me because I didn’t apolo-
gize to Asia. I was doing something that swiped her head a little
bit. And I'm like “This shit happens when people are playing this
game,” and I just heard them talking like “Did he apologize to
her?” And it was just a really awkward scene because I was like
you know I'm not gonna say anything to it, because if I didn't
apologize then I didn’t apologize, and everyone else is trying to
make me do it.
Yeah, so next thing I know aim going to the bathroom, and I see
her on the floor. She’s just kind of crawling over. I stepped over
her and went to the bathroom. “Are you looking for something?”
“No” so I continued to the bathroom. And then this big bee
came in. probably like three inches. like I feel it against my neck,
but then I kept saying there was one that was five feet inside of
this place, and I was freaking out. I was like fucking scared. I'm
like “my long romance with the bee... do not let it end with me
being touched by a five foot bee.”
I was in New Jersey, like in the house that Lynn lived, our neigh-
bor. There was also something about Poppop. Valentine's candy?
1356
Okay yeah this is also in the front yard of Pine Hill. I remember
yelling “fuck” really loud and it was weird because I was in front
of Nanny and Poppop. We were all shooting a video and I go
“Best fucking Valentine's Day something something!” Yeah, they
came over and just wanted to have fun with us and we got like
fruit snacks. I didn’t get any fruit snacks. I told myself I’ll just get
them the rest of the year. I missed out on some of the other stuff
and it was upsetting.
As for that other part with me and my dad later on: we're driving
and we accidentally nudged this wall of this neighbor's house,
not sure how it started, but it sure did start. All I know is me and
him... I had my fingerless gloves on. I had my hat on. I was all
tough looking. We just like hanged into this wall, knocked some-
thing over,‘put a dent in this wall. We ultimately ended up break-
ing into this house trying to fix something, and it was freaky be-
cause then really we're almost done and then we heard the person
wake up, so we took off running. We still had our truck in their
living room. Maybe we did put a big hole in the wall. I forget.
we drove through accidentally. And some of my stuff was in the
trunk of the truck.
So when these people woke up, and that guy (in the couple) saw
us, he started running like a madman, he had a look in his eye like
he was gonna catch us at all costs. So he ran around a weird path
around the house and so we didn't think he was running after us,
but he headed us off at some place, came out ahead of us, we still
escaped but I don’t remember how, because we had just left like a
pickup truck there.
And he said something to us. I don’t know if it was this time or

when we tried to come back. But he’s like “I didn't call the cops.
I intend on making you guys do such and such for that. Breaking
and entering” and he was just very authoritative and creepy and
dauntless.
I was doing a bunch of stuff underground prior to that. when

everyone else was doing stuff, like Asia and nanny and Poppop
and everyone else was talking in the other room or something I
was like digging around surfaces or I think I was planning stuff
out like some excavations
I don’t remember how this all became a problem. I remember

getting in a car with dad. driving down the road, listening to
music. we spent a while the car too, so it wasn't just like oh we
jumped in the car and he just immediately smashed into people's
house. we were we were driving around for a while. it was only
like after like 10 minutes and you know I don't know how much
time passed.
seems like there was more complicated stuff gone the scene that
I remember a little bit ago my opinion was right near the end of
the dream but I just can't remember it perfectly.
I just remember being so apologetic and while he was yelling at

us I was just trying to make my face look cute, didn’t want him to
think I was tough. It wasn’t about getting away with what I did,
just trying to make him feel less threatened. but he was a freak-
ing guy anyway... not freaky looking, he was a frail old man to
appearances, but he was just so alert, like “I’ll make you guys pay
with what you love!” And weird stuff like that to say. So vigilant.
“POWERWELL”
03/16/2015 | 4:53 AM
I just had a dream where I had like some kind of weird time al-
tering ability. first it was that part where's my dad told me to shut
off that heat source if I'm not using it, or that source, that thing I
had in the middle of room that was like a power well. and there
was the part where I was out driving around and I was writing
letters on the back of the truck. that computer in the back of the
car that was passing by. I was practicing writing a letter, but it was
so difficult.
I wrote a letter to a girl, and within a day or two I got a letter

back. it was just like “hey, I'm so glad to hear about you. I'd love
to keep in touch with you and let's just try to be less cute.” And
she added a smiling five. But I interpreted it as being kind of like
“Aww she thought we were cute” and I don’t think she actually
mean we should be so less cute. so it wasn't the most enthusiastic
response. But I liked it.
That was after I kept this animal frozen in a block of the stuff
that I'm not going to talk about. There's this frozen world and I
just tenement accidentally loosing that animal and it went run-
ning down the street and in the middle of the night and I’m
like “dammit, that was being kept around just in the event that I
needed to...”” because that was linked up to something with her
and if I ever wanted to get back with her I just needed to break
this open. “Dammit it escaped!” Someone else broke it out or
something, but I started the timer over again.
Early on I was hanging out with Haley. She was looking for
something to do like a movie or video game or something. So
1359
I was making comments about how clean she keeps her media
area. I’m like “geez, do you buy your stuff all new? because these
things are old but these are so clean and look like they just came
out.”
I believe she showed up later on but I was already gone. And I

was really nervous. So I just remember little things,
Then there was that part where I was driving in the car and I was
using some kind of ability to transfer my words from something
that was not electronic to the electronic screen in the back of the
truck, but I’m like this is a dumb thing to do. What if Some-
thing weird happens that’s beyond my control, like these words
get stuck on their screen and then they read them then they can
trace it back to who did it.
but then I got an online and saw a message from the girl I was
trying to contact, and I thought whoaaa. at this point for some
reason I thought I just received it from her out of nowhere be-
cause I don't think I thought I sent it to her. But then when I told
my mom I just got a message from her, the story changed a little
bit and I realized I was referencing the response to the other let-
ter.
I remember I was in the driveway for Londonberry and I went

walking inside I was pacing around the front of that house for
a while inside and I didn't know my father was standing right
around the corner, like it was the laundry room of Londonberry,
and so I walked in and he was around the corner that's near the
entrance from the hallway to laundry room. So I was just walking
in the outside entrance, and I said something kind of sappy and I
was reading out what I could possibly say in response to her, and
I didn’t know he was there. I was trying so hard... do I try to make

it short or do I allow myself to be enthusiastic, or what.
When Haley was around it was weird. Because she was asking “so
what have you been up to!” And she was just the same as ever.
And I was just like “this is weird you know? I never thought I'd
be able to come out again. I’ve kinda got some issues that I’m
battling.” and I don't think I'd ever say anything about my throat
but the main issue I said was ...was it was my brain? It was like it
was the past, almost like I had a 2010 perspective. I was just so
happy to be here, to be out.
I remember I was sitting in this weird room and all these blocks
around me and stuff and it's like partially frozen. And I remem-
ber that thing frozen in the corner of my room. It was like a boar,
a pig, and it accidentally escaped. I'm like no! But I was so busy
working on something in my room. My father was trying to do
something , he came and knocked on my door. He's like, “hey, are
you running the something something?” And I said yeah. And
he said “That’s a lot of heat and that’s a lot of this. So if you don’t
need it can you turn it off ?” I said “I guess I can turn it off.” I
think ent to unplug it. Might have done it weird. Unplugged it
wrong, pulled it by its cord, so it came undone.
“DIGGER”
03/16/2015 | 7:33 AM
I remember spending a really long time walking around on the
roof of my house somewhere and I was trying to put the roof to-
gether and I wasn't saying anything at all. So I was trying to store
up some kind of... I don't know, but I had put something over
my voice. I don't know how I did that. I don’t even know what I
mean by that. But I wasn’t talking and in a way it was weird be-
cause my voice had some protective layer over.
I remember just at the very end I was digging around under this
rock and I went down, I was like “screw all this. I’m gonna go
down no matter where I find it.” I was looking for something that
I left somewhere. I forgot where it was.
At the end Asia just came walking into the room. She was talking
to my mom and she was all pissed off and she's like, “Yeah, so
not only did this happened today, and this happened today, but
apparently my other friend might not even be married anymore.
She doesn't even know she's married anymore.” And My mom
was like “what's wrong? What's wrong?” SheMs just sitting there
complaining and telling all of these stories. “Remember that time
I said I went to camp? I went to something that was like camp
but it was on school grounds,” and she was just confessing to all
these things, and I’m thinking ‘Ughhh help me,’ and I had to walk
away.
I'm kind of foggy on all else that happened in this dream.
1362
“THE SHOWER”
03/16/2015 | 11:22 PM
There was a part where I was in a shower, except I had weird
clothes on. Everyone was in it, it was like the whole room was the
shower.
Then I was at the mall. Then that normal store with the girl.
That was the best part of that store store. There was lots with
my mom too. forget what the context was. She gave me a bag or
something. When was this? This was back at home later. I for-
get what's going on at that point. But I was walking around the
house and it was very normal. There was a girl I was at the store
just a normal little store, like a Dollar General or something. I
don't know what it was but we met and we were just. I don’t re-
member what happened but a relationship definitely came out
of that. I never saw her out of the store but we were there for so
long. Just really having a good time. Just looking at everything
and discussing what we thought about everything. what was she
stealing at the end? Started stealing these fake checks at the end.
Started taking them out of the package but she wasn't going to
use them here. Pretty sure we had a really good long kiss at the
end. She was really awesome and it was just kind of overwhelm-
ing just to walk around her. I had to go walking through the
desert at one point. After this?
And there's stuff about the skating. Yeah, a guy called me up and
he's like “you're gonna be skating.”
Okay, I was walking to the mall, I was just going to these

Spencer's kinds of stores and dark stores. And there was some-
thing really weird going on. I think I was with my father.
1363
But yeah, these guys call me up, and the guy says “you got a faster
record with roller skating, rollerblading than then the other guys
here, so once you’re done then come do that.” “What???” I was
surprised, because I was roller skating one day just you know, just
for the hell of it. And he called me back one day asking me to
take it seriously. I didn’t see how I was gonna do it because I have
so much anxiety, like that would just cause me so much anxiety
to be going that fast. I think I got that phone call when I was in
the store with the girl and I’m thinking ‘What the hell did I just
hear?’
The first part of the dream, spent in the shower, was strange. I
just spent all that time in my underwear with these other peo-
ple while watching something playing on television. The whole
room was a shower and I felt so awkward and uncomfortable
when people would come in and causally strip down.
“EXCITEMENT”
03/17/2015 | 6:11 AM
I remember all of this mundane stuff happening. I was online
and some black metal musician was posting and asked me to put
something into my own words. But I kind of gave up on it.
I remember at the very end of the dream, I came downstairs all

excited. I just came into the middle. Coming to the center of the
house and just being like, “Man, I'm so excited. I feel like I've re-
ally discovered what needs to be done. I feel like I've got it all.”
When I first when I first came up there, my mom was like, “Give
me a cigarette.” And she was was trying to talk to me normal but
she was trying to throw that in there too. And she's like, “Uh
huh, whatever,” and I said “in a few minutes.” And I was just talk-
ing to her, K was trying to tell her what I was excited about and
then I remember my father came by and I sat on the chair and
I just started talking about how I'm like really excited about this
stuff, and meanwhile she was like “cigarette” you know, this is
like several minutes later but she saw me starting to get comfort-
able sitting in the chair. which is kind of weird because that was
several minutes later and so she should have in a normal dream
that would have been beyond the point at this time.
what was I doing for so much of this dream? Conversations with

my father. There was something religious. I was making some-
thing and my father just didn't agree with some of the anti-reli-
gious sentiments that were coming out. I don't know what hap-
pened, but he wasn't like flipping out or anything. But there was
still something weird gone between us like he just didn’t agree
with what I was doing.
1365
I do remember seeing a lot of people talking about something

that I was interested in, but I was really a pissed because I just
couldn't tell who was really talking about it because they were in-
terested in it and who was talking about it because they thought
it made them look cool. And I was getting really pissed off.
“MAN ON THE DECK WITH
INTENTIONS”
03/17/2015 | 1:57 PM
Just had a dream. I was doing stuff. And I was talking to my fa-
ther about something. He said he was going to do something.
Like he was going for a jog, and I said I’ll go with him, and he
was surprised. But I just jumped in the car, no shoes, no any-
thing. We were out for a few minutes, and then he’s like, “Oh, I
gotta get something.” So he never completed what he needed to.
But we were gonna go back now. Then.l he came back. And what
was it that said. He has something he called it when he walked
on the deck with certain intentions, and I came up with a phrase
for something... like “man standing on a deck with certain inten-
tions.” I had something weird. It was something like... we were
making jokes about something and the joke went on a little bit
longer than it probably should have because I was just being stu-
pid.
And so we walked inside and he went and grabbed his thing.

When he said he needed to go back, before, I said “good because
I didn't have any wine before. And I could use some shoes too.”
And so then I went to have a little water and...
After that I just remember seeing him standing there with his
arms crossed watching TV in the living room and then he sat
down to eat something real quick and I'm like “Are we going
back out?” he's like yeah and I asked “when?” And it just seemed
like he kept delaying. And then I went down to my room. It was
just very weird because when it started we went out but had to
come back real quick but heheh really made it back out.
1367
I think the whole reason this happened was because I realized I

needed cigarettes while he were driving, then he realized he had
no money on him, so we had to go back. That’s why. Also, I re-
member that I was toiling over whether to get some tickets for
Maryland Deathfest in my dream and which type of passes to
get.
“WHICH ONE OF YOU IS MIKE”
03/17/2015 | 11:56 PM
Me go going back in time looking for the moment I first went in-
sane or the moment I first was told I was insane. There was me at
that conference where we kept trying to get enough people, and
something kept going wrong. And then my hairstyle wouldn't
count. And I wasn't wearing the right clothes. And I couldn’t
even go out with people people outside. I was trying to figure
shit out while everyone outside was flipping out.
At the end I was sitting on the table. There were two black guys
pulling chairs closer to the table. And one asked “Which one of
you is Mike?” Don’t know what that was about, but they were
looking for Mike. Saw Isaac for the first time in a while. Part
where I was in my bedroom. And we were all supposed to do
some kind of thing in the dark. It was like me, Asia, my mom and
someone else. I don't know. I don't know what was going on. But
I tried to leave and my mom said “no you have to stay, But don't
worry, you'll get like, you’ll get sweets, and you'll have fun.” So it
was just darkness and we were told to start dancing.
There was a frozen cream man. Not a man. Just frozen cream.
And my mom came and whispered to us in our ear what we were
supposed to represent. And she whispered to me “you're staying
in this store. And you can't move in this direction. But you can't
move in this direction. And you're very excited,” and she told me
how to act and then I’d have to mine it out. But everyone else
got the cream but me, and I don’t know why. Asia was walking
around in the dark eating it. And I couldn't eat any because there
was none next to me. I’m like “what is this all about? Why didn’t
I get any? This Better not be another “Let’s all protect Tendon”
1369
thing.” I was specifically thinking of Lajos when I said that, like

cult-like “Let’s keep Tendon from getting something that’s not in
his interest.”
There was a part was Sam was caught by these people and being
put in a straitjacket. He was running and getting to escape. Then
a part with me and Daniel was sitting in front of me. He reached
back to grab this chapstick or something in that compartment
next to me and I was cracking up like “How did you know it was
there?” And he was cracking up too. Then there was me with that
girl who might have been Ally. I'm not sure who it was, but we
might have taken Robitussin together. and that was weird but
then my then later on my family, my dad came out and flipped
out because he found writing and drawing all over the rugs and
also the walls, marker drawings. And I’m like “ I can't believe he
caused a scene.” I just went and erased them. And he got mad
and said “she's not coming back.” I'm like “what are you talk-
ing about? I did this before she arrived trying to make the place
look cooler. Why don’t you figure out what happened before you
start jumping to conclusions” he thought we had done the mark-
er drawings together, or thad she did
Sitting in the cafeteria at the end. That was the Mike part.
Another part with bunk beds. his is when I went back to get
something I forget why I went back with Sam we were getting
ready to go to conference so we're about to do that I had to go
back and grab something. I don't know what. I remember look-
ing at him go “look I’m wearing my shirt this time!” because
there was one time when we got up there and I was like what the
hell where my shirt go?? and I was just wearing my gray tank top,
I'm like where did it go??? Because someone looked at me and
said we all need to wear Doctor shirts, which I guess meant dress
shirts. Then I looked down and realized I wasn’t wearing mine.
Maybe there it off in the car. They were like “there’s a code to get
into this place!” Now I wasn’t able to get in.
There was an animal. Not a dog. An animal I liked.
• What if they don’t know about sanding people? What if they have
a non-sanding hotline?
I remember kissing that girl for a while. Took the robitussin, then
I did something that they thought was goofy, something weird. I
don't know. And at one point they were like hungry or they had
to do something that was really early on in the gym.
At one point I remember thinking to myself ‘This is a weird

dream, and I hope I don't lose this.’ So I had to calm myself down
to stay lucid.
• That guy is ADVANTAGED. I think she meant to say “ad-

vanced.” They were talking about some fat and said “That guy is
ADVANTAGED!” Definitely meant advanced.
Me and Sam went walking back to the place to get some some-
thing, probably my shirt, and the conference was about to start
and four or so guys had to come and explain to us why something
was necessary. They were mad we were leaving. I just kept going
and I never looked back and by the time I was sitting there with a
bunch of peoples and I was asking “Wait, where is Sam? He came
back with me.” And then we look and see him running from peo-
ple and he’s wearing a straight jacket. Running from those men.
Looked like he was trying to get help.
• I was just sitting in a dark pit. Someone lit a match, looked at me

and threw it in, I think they were just trying to light up but it was
so mysterious.
It was so weird though, walking through that building, knowing

this is the part in time when a person first told me that I'm in-
sane. And I'm like, that point in time was more intense than the
moment I actually became insane. More changed in that mo-
ment than when I w became insane, and it was church camp, I
guess. And I was trying to remember who it was that told me.
I had their face in my mind, but I couldn’t place them. And I
couldn't recognize his face on one. I just remember a lot of kids
were looking at me weird. It was just a dark atmosphere. It was
dark and strange. There was something creepy about that. I'm
back in time looking for the kid that first looked at me and saw I
was insane.
I remember I had to check with security officers at that confer-

ence place when we were leaving the building.
Me and Sam, when we were first walking out to the car, looking
for my shirt.
And then I remember when I was doing Robitussin I was mostly

naked, not completely naked. I mean 70% which is not very
naked all but I just felt very vulnerable like that.
And then when I was in my room that one time and it was this
pitch black. I went to leave because I was like uhhhhh I don’t
want to be a part of this. My mom was like “No!”, she put her
hand on my shoulder, like “you have to stay, it’s very important.
You've got some important roles!” And so they do this interpre-
tive thing and tell me what I'm supposed to be going through
and feeling and act it out accordingly. It was annoying because I
was actually eating at first. I was excited because I got someone

but then I remember hearing people in the dark eating the actual
stuff and they were eating the actual stuff. And I'm like wait, why
don't I get that? Why do I have to pretend like I’m eating it and
everyone else is really eating it? Is this just another case of ‘let’s
protect the tendon?’”
Went around the world doing these... around different places do-
ing stuff with magic. I explained to my mother that I was a ma-
gician in some sense. And she like she did something that I don't
understand. But then I was looking at her plate while she was eat-
ing one night. I'm like “you fucking did something to your plate
where it's never ending food” because it never got smaller, and so
I started thinking little of her.
“WORSHIP TEAM”
03/18/2015 | 1:12 PM
I remember being in a car traveling with my dad for a while. I
was with Nanny and Poppop at one part and I flipped out be-
cause I wasn’t something that everyone thought I was. We were
at church. That's it. I went in the car. And I wasn't intending on
seeing anybody. I was sitting there just kind of hiding away in
the car while my dad went in to practice worship on the worship
team. I remember him coming out a little while later and he's
like, “Hey, we're all gonna be going over to someone else's house
to do some further stuff. We're not gonna get much done here
because of this reason... someone doesn’t have the right equip-
ment.” So he's like, yeah, we're gonna do that. And then I saw
someone like walk out of the church. And I'm like, whoa they're
here. And they were on worship team, so it wasn’t actually weird,
but you know, it was weird seeing them because I hadn't seen
them in years. And someone else walked down out and so I go
yeah, we should probably go before people realize that I'm here.
Because I was just going along for the ride.
Now I was just entertaining myself in the car the whole time.
He’s like okay. And so then he gets in the car and people come
over and say something to him, and people start noticing me.
And so it just got ridiculous and suddenly four, five, six, seven
people are standing around the car, and one guy rolls down the
window somehow and he started saying something and I had to
roll it back up. and there's just different women that are just like
trying to get in they're looking at me they're all waving they're
standing right over the window. I’m thinking oh my gosh. I'm
just freaked out because they're all like staring right into the win-
1374
dow going “heeey”. So I go “dad... just... GO!” I made him go and

he just cruised right through the parking lot, and I think there
were people on the hood and ridiculous s Todd like that when he
did, and they fell off. It was really funny, but really ridiculous.
“APPEARING”
03/18/2015 | 11:37 PM
I was in a cave, I know that. And there were different points

where I was appearing. I just kept appearing.
(Long silence)
How long has it been recording? I don’t know. I don’t care.
1376
“IN THE WALL”
03/19/2015 | 10:12 PM
I just remember that really weird part where Jacob walked by and
I had just sealed up something in the wall. I was hiding some-
thing belonging to some people in the wall, that a certain kind of
people wouldn’t be able to find because they wouldn't be looking
for something of this color. I don't know what it was. I know, but
I can’t describe it.
But then later on, he's like, “thank you. No one's tampered with
the one behind the white wall all night.”
“ really is everyone else gone?”
“Yeah they’re all in bed now.”
So I just started talking to him “Yeah, I just miss when I was little
and I saw tools lying around the house. You know, my dad would
be working on projects in a day. And the majority of his tools
would be on his truck, but then he'd have like three or four of his
main tools, he'd have his, you know, framing square and his tape
measure and his screwdriver, his pliers, his drill I’d see them lying
around in the middle of the night.”
I guess that's where I woke up.
1377
“POCKEN”
03/23/2015 | 5:47 AM
That girl coming over to hang out at my house. I don't know

where she came from. She was from a dream and she just like ma-
terialized he just laid down the floor and fell asleep. And me and
my father were asleep on the couch downstairs and she was just
there too. She was talking about some online game where people
were using the word “POCKEN” to describe girls and it caused
a big trouble because then when they got the person who creat-
ed the game looked it up and it meant “Whore”. She wouldn’t
say it out loud, and I’m like what are you talking about I don’t
know what you mean, and so she wrote it down on a piece of pa-
per, and I was like oooooh okay. Kinda thinking it would be a
lot worse than that. I remember at one point going up and step-
ping out the door, the house looked different, like a combination
of Londonberry, Charldon and something else entirely. I remem-
ber stepping out the sliding door or something and just standing
there. I had my voice recorder I doing dream recall, and I'm like,
“This is a pleasant dream. It Leah’s some with good after feeling.
it's not the kind of afterglow that I get from Anita dreams, but...”
What the hell was that... I was standing with my father in the
kitchen, and heMs like “If you do do new things.” And I echo
him, “Do do, new things.” And then I started talking about
William Shatner and repeating it in his voice, “You can do do,
new things!” And my dad was cracking up. Then I heard my
mom walking down the stairs. I was standing right near the bath-
1378
room this time. And I’m like “oh no, I need to get my camera
out,” since my camera was by the bathroom sink. I needed to get
it before she went in and closed the door, I guess.
“HE CAME UP”
03/23/2015 | 5:50 PM
Right at the very end of that dream I was standing in the bath-
room and the lights were flickering like candle lights and that's
all there was, there's just very very faint candle lights. And it
could be seen on the shades of the window and there was some-
one outside mowing the lawn even though it's like 10 o'clock at
night. It kind of made me nervous. I didn't want them to see
me walking around the bathroom. Just because for some reason
I thought it was creepy. So I tried to put out the little flickering
lights and not move around as much. And I was thinking most
people would rather just... I don't know, I was thinking of it in
terms of how this is not the darkest to get so I can easily just turn
this off and get the pitch dark.
Uncle Jamie was there. Nanny and Poppop were there. They left
they left and then they came back. They left, but when I stepped
up, when I walked through the door, apparently right as they
were leaving, my parents were like “Aw Man, you come up now,
they just left, they wanted a hug and they didn't...” and so then
mg mom starts calling, “He came up! He came up!” And then
I remember Jamie and Julie just standing there and it was just a
weird moment. But then after like a minute my mom was like
“ugh they can’t hear me.” But then after like 20 seconds, She's
like, “Oh, okay, yeah, they're coming back.” And so nanny and
Poppop come back in after almost leaving. I can’t see them. I just
see my mother yelling through a door. It doesn’t look like our
house. So nanny and Poppop came back in and give me a hug.
And they me hug them back and When I hugged Poppop I was
1380
like “whoa, that was really oddly specific” because he didn’t turn
the same way he usually turned, it was head on instead of on the
side. And then nanny did similar and I was confused like why are
you guys doing that.
Then they talked for a few minutes before leaning. Poppop was
talking about plants. Oh, and something about money. And I
said “That’s one for the wall.” He just had his own currency he
was making to pay for things, but I was like wait did he just print
this out to be funny? Is this just some kind of paper thing he
bought in a store or did he actually take the time to create his
own currency? Is it just generic, you know, like a toy? Or did he
create it himself ? I was wondering that while they left.
I remember I was walking around after that. And I saw some guy.
There was some guy who's just been a dick to people. I don’t re-
member what was going on. And I said “You, sir, are a silver toi-
let.” And I just saw a little silver toilet on the ground. The person
had given it to them. I’m like what the hell this. And I saw like
silver ingots and silver toilets and other things like that. I'm like
what the hell? Then I saw someone else had been given to it. So
I realized it was like a new thing ... what was it, was it Facebook?
Or whatever social network site it was where people would just
collect like those meaningless badges, like you'd send them just
like an animal picture or just and then just collect them on a little
board. I forget what they were... collect some eggs or something.
I don't know. That was a long time ago huh?
So apparently this was just something new. it wasn't a big serious

thing that that guy has silver toilet on his property. That was just
like some people give just without thinking now, because it's part
of the options of things to give to you. I thought they were doing
that because he was an idiot. Said some idiotic things.
It was not until the end that I did the whole thing with the can-
dles. What did I do outside? somebody with a dog? Yeah, Scar-
let walked by and this is when we're in Pine Hill. This was when
Nanny and Poppop were leaving. And so the house for a few
minutes did look like our old home. She had like this weird cloth
dragging from her. Apparently it was like a little doggie sweater
and she arm holes in it. But it was like a vest. It didn't go around
all the way but you like put it on the back and then you slip her
arms through the holes. And so I walked up to her and it was
just dragging behind her like, either she got out of it or someone
didn't bother putting it on right. And so I just like walked up to
her and I made her stop and then I like tried to put it on her cor-
rectly. But it's funny because when I lift one of the arm holes she
lifted her arm and I'm like wow, she's really fucking obedient, so
it's pretty easy to get it on her.
totally missing like a big part of the dream. The sky went dark
and everything got a little strange and symbolic. It was very eery.
There were towers that I climbed.
“SUCK IT UP WITH A STRAW”
03/25/2015 | 2:15 PM
That weird place where I was doing all this mystic stuff and right
at the end of the dream I was talking to that guy. Then there
was that part where I went down and killed that thing. I tried
to attack something and suck it up through a straw. I tried to
kill it fast enough but all of them pulled out horns or bugles
and sucked it up like through a straw really fast. That was real-
ly creepy. But I helped someone else do it and they get all the
credit and they're like “wow, you really know how to do this.” To
the woman who helped me. I put this circle thing over this weird
beast, like a blue jelly tube, a slime bar. I put it down against the
ground. It looked like a condom or something. The thing just
burst.
The dream had a lot of mystical magic stuff in it. It was like a
magic campus and I was walking around there's a a lot of occult
stuff everywhere and just things are happening everywhere,
things happening all the time. I felt pretty cool there. Like a giant
castle. Walking around at night in the dark.
I was in this room talking to a guy about my goals. I was in the

dark just talking him from across the room. He was lower than
me so I might have been on top of a bunk bed. He said some-
thing about making sure you don't just follow the traditional
kind of path, and I said “years ago I kind of wanted to do that
and I wasn't content with the ideas of...” just how I tried to follow
tradition, it wasn’t for me, I felt this way and I kind of just left,
and nowadays I’m going back and understanding the full impor-
tance of artistry, personalization, stuff like that. Going back to
the normal path with that in mind.
1383
• The sentimental long walks on the roadway with Jovie. I don’t

know who Jovie is... J-O-V-I-E? Those long road walks, those senti-
mental walks... just something that I look forward to, or people look
forward to.
“HOMELESS GROCERY
MAGICIAN”
03/26/2015 | 2:41 PM
First there was part where I was in the lead in some election,
having barely beating my opponent. And I think the only upper
hand I had was that I had access to Anthony's hat, which I think
was just because I was part of that group and anyone in that
group got access to that, but I'm thinking ‘Jeez, I did not realize
how big of a figure Anthony was.’
Later I was in store. I remember eating cookies in the store for a

while. These good custody cookies. And I was just eating them.
I'm like, are we allowed to do this in the store? Eating things?
And the person I was with was like “ehh it’s only one or two. It’s
just a sample. If we buy it afterwards... gotta try it before you buy
it.” But I felt weird about it.
Asia and I got in a big fight, I think I knocked her really hard
in the head and threatened her. I confronted her and said “If if
you stand in front of me I’m gonna take this stick and wack with
it.” And she looked to something on the side of the aisle and
says “Yeah, if you do that, I’m gonna push over these boxes on
you.” It just kept going and going and I kept knocking things in-
to her. And I remember I did once, but then looked behind her
and we were within sight of some of the people that worked with
the store and worried they're gonna think that we're doing some-
thing more extreme than what it is.
• I just watched some dude dance. Don’t know what that was all
about.
1385
• A woman was panting really hard but also smiling and people
are asking her questions, and she’s like “Going... on a trip... is like
anything... everything... unknownnnnn to me!” And then she starts
leaning and passes out while panting and smiling and then the peo-
ple all go “whoaaaa” and I’m thinking maybe I should back up.
I was out on that person's front lawn. Something about groceries.

There was all that stuff about how I was being tested. And I made
some gesture saying that I was the best magician in the world. I
don't know. Something about me and the grocery store. Yeah, I
remember going through. And this was right before I went and
lived on my own. I went outside and I was just homeless. And
I remember going outside and sitting there. I remember I was
dressed up in my black metal stuff. So I had my face paint on,
and this nine or ten year old black girl comes up to me, laughs
and grabs into my hair. So I’m like “hahaha, what are you doing?
I can't believe you have the guts to do something like that to a
complete stranger they looks like me.l I was just laughing about
it.
Some cop told me to stop doing something, too. And I looked

around like, is he actually allowed to tell me to stop doing that?!
Then I was wandering outside and sat down and I was just wait-
ing. There's a little mound. I might have eaten something. I
might have just sat down and started eating something. but then
these two people came by and started talking to me and picked
me up. I don't know if they intended to do that at first. I was try-
ing to get them to help me do something else. I asked “do you
guys know anybody else like me?” I was trying to show off or
something near the highway.
I remember being there at night eating all this zzzI was just
standing at this table eating cheese and crackers. I was just dip-
ping crackers into something.
so there's this guy that was gonna be stopping by and this girl
asked me... we were sitting on the deck and we saw the car drive
by.
I remember there's also something about being in space. And

just like soaring through space to pick up trash. I think we were
in space, because bays were newer, the next space down to pick
up some trash. Something weird, because at the end, we're like,
Okay, well now that that guy didn't show up. Here we are. next
stop: his town (or our town). Yeah this guy was coming but
stopped when he was out front and never came in. I asked her if
she wanted me to leave. And I was I was just trying to be nice.
She was attractive. She's probably my age. And she's like, No, I
don't, if you're good.” I'm like, “You sure? you're waiting for this
guy? This guy you care about, I guess? Like I can leave?” And she
“I'd like you to stay. And I'd also like you to help me out if you
can.” And it was something cliche, like that whole ‘pretend to be
my boyfriend’ thing and I was thinking aaaahh are you kidding.
She just wanted me to stick around and act more familiar than I
was, I guess.
So the guy never showed up. And then every time we thought he
was gonna show up, his car drove by. And so we just ended up
in his town and we're just gonna go and see him. I just remem-
ber her sitting there like, kind of in front of where my computer
is. There was a little couch in that area. And she was sitting there
and she said “I need to sleep.” And so I said “Okay, this guy’s
coming in. I’m gonna change first because I need to be wearing
something to make him jealous, so I went over and I stood be-
hind some stack of stuff and I'm like, “I'm not going out there
and doing all this so I'm just gonna get changed right here. Don’t
look” I was just changing my outer panda. But I remember won-
dering if she was going to look over me and try to peek at me
while I’m changing, or if I’m tempting her to think more of me
in every second. But then after that, instead of going over there
with her, and she expected me to go over there with her. I just
went over to the little end table and kept eating crackers and dip-
ping them in cheese dip or something, and every time she heard
a crunch she would just look over and stare at me. Like if to say
“what are you doing? Why are you over there?” I don’t think she
understood.
At store, when I was going to check out. I forget what I was buy-
ing. I gave them some money. And there was a police man stand-
ing next to the woman behind the counter, and he goes “May I
see your wallet, sir?” I’m like “what do you mean?” And he says
“I'd like to see the contents of your wallet. And so I'm like “It’s
empty. It’s just a little lint.”
“I'd like to see that, sir.”
And so I hand it to him and pulls out a thing of lint from in my

pocket and he's like, “Is this your lint, sir?”
It wasn’t my wallet but my pant pockets, so he might have

thought I was stealing something. I think that was it just because
I looked like I could be stealing something since I was in corpse
paint.
So I’m like “yes, that’s my lint” laughing in disbelief. Then I

paused and he’s still looking through, analyzing the lint, and I ask
“Seriously, would that even matter if the lint from someone else's
pants were in my pants?“
“Yes that would, sir.”
Oh geez. Even the woman shook her head yes. I didn’t under-
stand it. But I don’t remember what I grabbed. Just some little
food snack thing. I just want walking out of the store. then I
stopped and saw those little 25/50 cent machines and got all ex-
ited and though “Oh, is there anything I want?” and there were
like three different machines that had those gummy hand things
in them, the gummy splat things ... the hands ... some of them are
big some of them are just small... and I was like wow those gum-
my things that you stick on things, and I thought of getting one
but I realized it wasn't worth it just because there was several dif-
ferent ones in side and most of them are really small and it was
like 90 cents there was one it was like their designs but two of
them are like 90 cents I'm like that's a weird amount of money.
Early in the dream I was in the Pine Hill work room and I re-
member going out that door in the room where all the comput-
ers were, and I went out that door and taking a turn into some
other place and realized my dad and others were meeting over
there. Dad, Jamie, Poppop. I told them dinners ready and then
went back in the workroom.
When I walked outside I was standing there in waiting and I

saw those two people standing there at some point and just fol-
lowed them to the parking lot. I forgot the conversation we were
had. I think at first they were just gonna give me a ride. But then
like they let me come inside. There was something about mag-
ic. I was looking for some magical people in that parking lot, or
they made a comment about my face makeup and I said “Yeah,
I’m looking for people who look at my face make up and respond
with something very specific. I think I was recruiting for White
Combs.
“CAKE WITHOUT EDGES”
03/27/2015 | 7:07 AM
There that Boss Power Bracelet—whatever it was called—which
we all went underground to get because that one woman had
one. Not because she had one but because we thought she had
gone to get one.
We were staying at what looked like the Sharps’ house. I just re-
member spending so long getting stuck in that place where me
and those guys had to go through some place. We were dropping
through floors and going into walls and just crazy stuff. We were
talking about how if we had to be cake, we would be cake with-
out edges. Had to walk through the dark. Had to go through a
hole in the floor. Hung out in this room trying to find some light
to throw down there. He fell asleep, and there were others sleep-
ing around him. These guys were really silly and annoying, they
were hanging out in this room. Eventually though I was just like
screw it and jumped into the hole. I had a very low light on me.
Afraid I was gonna encounter some people or something down
there. It was just another room, nothing alive in there. I made it
through and made it back out into the main hallway that I start-
ed from, but now I had the perch.
I never got back to the girl, which sucked. She seemed Japanese.
Al these things about her just loving this team. I think I stole her
glass or something, too. Her mug. Earlier on. Because I liked it a
lot. Feel like we were in a lot of places together, me and her, like
an outdoors festival place.
1390
“GOATS IN THE BATHROOM”
03/27/2015 | 3:45 PM
Goats in the bathroom. My father tried to help me build up some

kind of monitor in my bedroom, it looked like my New Jersey
bathroom. My hair was looking terrible. I hadn’t washed it in
days, so it's really not doing what I wanted it to do. There were a
bunch of people in the house. Just a family. The people who were
over the house had a couple goats with them.
Something about Bathory, and Quorthon predicting his own

death. He said he'll return at 2020. Then he says he'll return
again at 2075. I don’t know. It was very weird. And he was like
“How come you guys know that I believe in death or an after-
life and so that means you stopped witnessing to me?” He had a
weird pissed off question like that they directed at the Christians
and religious people.
I remember Quorthon also saying “the only other thing that

means the most to me, which is my music...” he was saying some-
thing and I forget what the context was. But I remember think-
ing ‘Man, I really fucked up this time with all that music after all
these years trying to get it going I just fucked up. And now these mis-
chief night recordings are gonna be valuable.’
I kept changing my shirt. I put my life guard guard shirt on. I

wore that when I was out playing with those people. Then after
a while when I was allowed to do what I want I went back and
changed into another shirt.
1391
I hid in the bathroom for a really, really long time. Yeah, there
were two goats walking around the house. I just remember being
in the bathroom, and a giant woolly white goat just walks into
the bathroom. And I start cracking up, and my dad dad comes in
after and is like “okay, yeah, get out of here, get out of here,” try-
ing to shoo it out. And I’m protesting “No! This is the first time
this has ever happened in my life!” And he’s trying to take it out.
And so then while we're all walking it down the stairs, I just re-
member it was hungry, it’s stomach was growling or something.
It was hungry so he had to like massage it a certain way, and my
father tried and couldn’t do it. But I did and I massaged it and it
became silent and worked.
I remember my parents saying things about me outside. They

were saying how much shirt looked all sandy, and someone took
it as a racist remark and start like broadcasting and I’m like guys,
fucking chill out, what are you talking about. I remember them
making a lot of really racist and bigoted sounding remarks out
there and I just thought goddamn you guys are horrible.
Those people had kids that were only like six years younger than
me. Late teens.I remember someone talking to me at one point.
In the beginning I was with a couple of girls. I think Asia was one
of them. We were up on the stage I was filling in for like, I was
like filling in their band or just some girl band. I was playing in
some girl band as the keyboardist. I don't know why. But I was.
and then they like no longer needed me. And I got annoyed that
they kept on going and no longer needed me.
There was another part where I was in my room listening to

Bathory.
Also, those goats looked more like sheep and rams but I was call-
ing them goats.
“DECK SNEAK”
03/28/2015 | 3:43 PM
At the end of this dream I was walking around on the corner of
this is unfamiliar house that we had been at for a few hours now.
I was walking around the corner because I knew that there was
a guy and girl probably in their early 20s standing over there un-
derneath that deck and smoking a cigarette. And I told my dad
to go out in the car for a few minutes. He said “I'll join you” and
I'm like, “no, I want to go see who they are.” And I was sneaking
around when he opened the front door. I was like sneaking real-
ly slowly, he saw me and said “If you grab another cigarette, I’ll
join you,” and I’m like whispering “Not now. I saw some people
or someone go see what's up with him.” They were like the chil-
dren, I guess at least the daughter was one child one of the people
we saw here. We had been taken in by this group of people over
the past x amount of time. Then that loud guy. Big tall huge. I be-
lieve that was his daughter in there. A big guy got a big tall guy. I
didn't know what she looked like, it was dark. But I think she was
annoying him. she got in trouble or something in the middle of
the night; because she learned I'd come over she was like looking
something up or trying to figure out what I look like, so I think
she did something that got her in trouble. Like skipped out of
class or something, just to see what I looked like. So I wanted to
see what she looked like as well. I didn’t know there was gonna
be a guy with her, but they could have been anyone.
Me and my father just walked out after my mother... she was stay-
ing with them apparently, and she wouldn't let me take any of the
Christmas mini statues and things that were all gonna belong to
our family, and I told her “before you go setting them up some-
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where else, check with me which ones I want or which ones are
mine. You can keep most of them but we’d like some of them.
And so I went around the room looking and I said “I like this
one,” and she flipped out “no way!” And then I looked at anoth-
er one and I’m like “this one right here was my favorite” and she
was getting very angry and making a scene in front of all these
people and I was just like fuck it Screw it, I’m going. She was act-
ing like I was being unreasonable and saying “no way!”
My hair was not looking too good because I didn’t shower the
night before or maybe even three. Maybe because my father and
I had been driving for days. I just remember him driving into
the night and he was driving very crazy, around those glaciers
and the snowy place. Yeah. We got stuck. We got pulled out by
a giant blue shiny Mew, wearing a Santa hat. Wow. Like the re-
al color of shiny Mew. We almost crashed to our death in this
snow pit, everyone was kinda like in this area, in the middle of
this arctic land; a big pit. And right when we started going by he
starts revving the engine. And I go “What are you doing?!” And
he’s like “Aw, I'm gonna have a little fun with this.” And I'm like,
“What are you doing? Why don't you just go drive around or dri-
ve through the normal way” and he says “everyone else looks like
they’re having my fun.” So he just started speeding through it.
And I'm like, I just remember hitting this bump and going down
a bit. And we did it so fast that I flew out of the seat. I was still in
my seat belt but I lifted it up. “Holy shit do not do that!”
And then we’re crashing down further. He's starting to finally re-
alize okay, he's not in control of what's going on. This is not a
fun thing to do and maybe those other people who were crashed
were not actually having fun and being daredevils, but we're ac-
tually having a bad time and couldn't get out. And so we started
sinking and we couldn’t get out, and then giant shiny Mew ap-
peared. We didn’t know what it was yet. Something approached

us and we felt the car lifting. Didn’t know it was Mew until it was
in the distance leaving us afterwards.
Then we went to eat some food. I guess we stopped at some place

and ate.
I just went off and did my own thing for most the time. that's
why it sucks to spend most of my time alone and then realize that
there was a girl there on the property.
At the end they were just smoking under the wooden deck. I saw
them around the corner and I just remember walking over there
with my Pall Malls in my hand. Then my dad spotted me and I
had to pull back around the corner and tell him to go away since
I was busy, but the two people were already attentive to my pres-
ence.
I remember when we took off in the middle of the night, my

mom was not okay with that, with us driving late at night.
I think this property belonged to my dad’s boss, and we were

about to leave when he spotted us and he convinced us to stay
longer. That’s where we were at this whole time.
“DUUU-UUUDE”
03/29/2015 | 5:59 AM
“Dude, you used to be like Duuuuuuuude. No, actually you used
to be like Duuuuu-UUUUUUDE, like maaaaa-AAAAAAN.
You used to want to know everything that was going on in my
life and you used to want to be a part of it. What happened?”
And he just made this stony expression at me. It was awkward
until I asked him what toppings he’d like for his pizza, which was
in the oven at the moment. And then a few minutes later I start-
ed going over Mischief Night, I started talking about that. That's
when the dream ended. It was an extremely awkward dream.
Everything had changed. That was the whole point. It was just
me and Isaac talking for the first time in years and years. I’m like
“So, tell me about your wife!”
“What do I tell you?”
“Oh I don’t know. I just want to know what's going on in your

life.”
So that’s when I came in with that duuu-uuude thing. It was so

awkward.
When discussing pizza toppings, he said “Get me some garlic

and some artichokes.”
“I don’t have any artichokes and the only garlic is minced.”
“Minced garlic is fine.”
We were just making pizzas on my stove. Things were not as they

once were and it was so weird. We had changed so much. And I
1397
felt like the burden was on me to carry the interaction, since he

was so terse and stony.
• The spaceship at the end of the universe is called Antique Mirther.

It comes for some bizarre reason at the end of the universe. I don’t
know why.
“GO BACK”
03/30/2015 | 6:58 AM
I was about to head back. It was like 11:30 at night. My dad had
just left for work at night. It was like everything was weird in
terms of time. I was gonna get in the car and go back to where
I was like five hours earlier and I was gonna go tell the wrestlers
that I was leaving. I had just been hanging out with my mom and
dad and grandparents. There were some monkey bars. I was at
this place for a long time and I came back for a few hours. Then I
was gonna go back out to where I was earlier.
1399
“FANCY TABLES”
03/31/2015 | 7:34 AM
That part where we went into that weird reality where there was
a bunch of fancy table setup. Me and someone else I know, I
guess a family member, went and sat down at the table with the
rich lady, who was in the middle of an interview. I just remember
I didn't want to touch any of the food even though the person
I was with was touching it. I guess it was dad, and he just didn't
care, and she (the rich lady) didn't say anything, but I thought
differently. I don't want to start eating all their food. Remem-
ber there was shrimp I remember I had like a little shrimp in my
hand. And I didn't realize it... like I remember I had some in my
hand for a long time I was sitting at a table being quiet. I didn't
realize what it was. I forgot. it opened up and it was a shrimp.
Really small. And I bit it. I bit the head off of it. And I just re-
member going into the bathroom to spit it out.
It was like the Londonberry bathroom. Then I just stood there in

the mirror for a while.
Then there was that part where I was in my Londonberry room.

I was with that guy who looked like Kenny (although not yet, he
did later though). He was painting pictures of apples all around
this part of the room is and I just asked him a question and then
he went back and painted them all gold. and then later on he
kind of became Kenny. I remember his friend, Travis, was there,
and I was kind of confused because I thought he was dead, so I
didn’t know what to say.
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“100 DAYS, 100 EVENTS”
04/01/2015 | 7:52 AM
I don't really remember any of the individual experiments or
things that I did but I just remember thinking that it was kind of
a waste of time. I had like 100 events in 100 days. I don't know
what you'd call them. But it was something fucking crazy and
nonsensical every day, every hour for 100 whatevers. I can’t even
think of any examples. They were all very strange and simple.
Nothing large scale. Just like screwing with people. And I don’t
remember being satisfied with the results. I played drums at one
point—at Sam’s house. People came in at four in the morning
and told us to be quiet. I also logged into someone’s account, or
onto his girlfriend's page, and posted a photo of her without a
top on, but it had been edited in Photoshop, and I felt bad about
what I did later, and I was thinking ‘Why did I do that? How
much did I drink?’ I kept feeling bad about that and then looked
back and it was back to normal so they would have found and re-
sorted it, but I felt really awkward.
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“GIRLS SHOCKED BY MURDER”
04/02/2015 | 3:22 PM
• Someone two blocks down just murdered someone, and I'm not
supposed to go look and see who it was. All these girls are shocked,
though. I'm not surprised. They’ve got a show to do. They’ve got a job
to do. They can’t be getting involved with this stuff. This is for the
police, you know what I’m saying?
1402
“CHICKEN BATS”
04/03/2015 | 7:20 AM
I was supposed to go and perform on stage as a band and then
as a solo project. But I decided to just do my solo stuff and can-
celled without telling anybody.
I went to the store and I was ducking around because I didn’t

want to be around anyone or have anyone see me after I had
abandoned the stage and not done any songs. There was that girl
who I was supposed to know from camp. She was super skinny.
She was attractive, but she was super skinny.
So I remember showing up at the store and I saw her walk into

it. Target, I think. And so I asked if she would mind if we walked
together for a little bit. She said sure. She went and walked over
to the clothing section. She was picking up things and asking me
what would look good on her, but she was phrasing it all wrong.
Like instead of asking if it would look good in her, she would ask
if I would ever considered getting it. “Would I get that? Why are
you asking like that?” She held up one that was glittery and pink
and it was very revealing and I could tell just by looking at.
• Side black throne. White crazy horse rides. Crazy horse...
• I remember standing in front of the building with that girl. Her

name was not Both-Adams. It was like McAdams. Yeah. Both-
Adams. I don’t know.
• Yeah, it's just so we could cross over the bank; cross over the land.
We’ll be hopping over in the vehicle.
1403
• If I, if I... it’s not because of chicken. It’s because of bats. So if I stop,

it’s... chicken bats.
“CAFETERIA”
04/04/2015 | 1:31 AM
At the end I was sitting in that school cafeteria... I don’t remem-
ber who he was. But the other guys who I was kind of with were
at a different table and it was weird because I just started going
to school and I wasn't really popular or anything and I just sat
there watching people come to the door wondering who's gonna
sit my table. Wondering who would have the guts to just do that.
I remember seeing the bully guy walked by. He came walking by,
his friend was in the military and said “My buddy had a fall last
night after being bitten by one too many ticks. We broke the fall
with something something.” Slow, southern speech.
Before this we were at some big park. There was the part in the
cafeteria where I said something about Justin Timberlake... and
then everyone goes “What?!” “Oh wait, no, I mean Philip Bai-
ley.”
I meant someone else though. “Not the Justin you’re thinking

of.” So I had to pretend for the entire duration of the dream that
there actually was a Justin and that he was two years older than
the rest of us and that he had already graduated and that they had
forgotten this much.
• Man, I hear crows... birds... like caw! Caw! I hear them.
• That was a little bit too loud. That was... the squeaky toy that
sounded like a dinosaur. Jeez.
Okay, before this, we were in the utility room at Londonberry. I

had all this eye makeup on. Like black and purple. Like the asex-
1405
ual colors. Black on top, purple on the bottom. What was I do-
ing, though...
I was smoking at one point. I think I remember one of the guys

trying to light up in my living room and I go “No, no, no! Gotta
smoke outside.” So then I went walking outside and no one re-
ally followed me. One guy did. Maybe not immediately. And he
didn’t stay. I was standing outside smoking. He went back in and
I saw him talking to the others about something. I was watching
them through the windows.
• I think it was her birthday. Huh?

“LAVAWALKER”
04/05/2015 | 6:23 PM
It doesn’t matter. What matters, no la la? No lava? It’s a song.
“What matters is no la la, no lava?” But the la la is in parentheses
and the lava is in caps.
I was sitting on little rock in the middle of the ocean. Oh yeah,

there was that part where I got stuck outside in the storm. I
just saw a video last night about some guys being rescued late at
night.
I remember the helicopter had to come to pick me up. I don’t

know where the other guy came from, who I with. It was awk-
ward. I was out here in this huge storm in this little pool area, no,
like a dam. Standing on a dam in a crazy storm. No way back ex-
cept via this helicopter.
I felt like someone was tricking me while I was falling asleep.

It felt like there was a trick going on and felt like I was getting
fucked up by some kind of spiritual entity while I was resting or
trying to rest and it was very confusing. I think the first part of it.
I remember people were expecting me to go over someone else's
house to eat, like Nanny and Poppop’s house, and so they’re like
“Hey, they're all expecting you!” and I'm like “And that's exact-
ly why I won't.” At the very end of it I remember walking across
this pit of lava on top of these CD cases. Might not have been la-
va but I was walking along some kind of weird surface but I was
kept afloat by walking on these things.
1407
“HAM FOR A DAY”
04/06/2015 | 5:35 PM
Nanny put me to sleep on the kitchen floor. That thing where my
father was gonna go next door and risk his life just to make sure
that the neighbor's dog was fine. I was telling him “Come on, just
don't give the dog ham for the day and it will kill itself. There was
some weird car driving up and down the street.
I was talking to a girl online. I didn’t know who she was. She
woke up at midnight, in her country or location. Not midnight
here, but it was like New Year's or something so something I'd ap-
parently started telling her she never got I guess she was asleep,
and so I went over the keyboard and typed something new and
she worked up and went “Oh whoa, it’s midnight!” and then she
saw my messages and thought that I sent them all just now or
something like that. She seemed like a young girl. Not sure who
she was.
I remember Nanny asking how I was doing.
“So you’re doing good, huh?”
“No, I’m doing pretty bad but that doesn't really matter, it's
about how I handle it that matters,” or something along those
lines.
There was some kind of ban going on for some things, some sub-
stances that we were doing. I did something out in the street that
I could have got in some serious trouble for.
1408
I just really wanted to be hugged and kissed. I was thinking about

it so much. And I thought damn if the world is gonna end with
this, then what’s gonna happen?
That girl online was talking about her dogs. Like sheep dogs.
And something about her dad, like she had to get permission to
do something before doing this. And I was trying to just play
along. Like “Oooh, really?” I had tons of things I had already
planned on saying, like a list of things to say, but they were all
different fonts and colors, and I was trying to make them all the
same font color and trying to cut the one that was appropriate
out and paste it into the chat, but it was just giving me lots of
trouble.
Yeah, I don't really know what was going on in that dream but I
felt like something was about to come over that hill, something
devastating. Some kind of plague or some kind of race, like post-
human. Not zombies, but some kind of wicked creatures are sup-
posed to come over the hill sometime. They were making their
way through the world.
“FEATHER IN THE MOUTH
04/07/2015
• Started off by making myself aware of what was mine... that it
was mine... my world, my thoughts, my beliefs... (and at the time
I was waking, putting it into words, I remember thinking ‘my sal-
ad...’) and then I tried to take people through it... it was like a vol-
cano... an it simply wasn't it working out. Not explicitly... but I
didn’t feel right about it.
[Unable to locate the rest of this dream]
1410
“FAUST”
04/09/2015 | 8:20 AM
Ugh, I had Urfaust going through my head all night while I was
asleep and it ended up getting in my dream at some point.
There was one point my dream—and this was a while back—I

was making some music and I thought it sounded so damn good.
A cool new direction for Mischief Night.
At one point PN came over. There was also the part where I was
looking through the figurine aisle in the store. I was looking for
stuff to steal but there was nothing interesting to seal. I remem-
ber PN came over, and I forget what the context was. But she was
just sitting on a couch near me and we're watching TV. It was
early in the morning. Asia was around at some points, too. I re-
member just talking to PN about what was going on.
At the end, I remember she was walking around the room doing
something in the morning. While Asia came by and recom-
mended a movie that she saw. And she's like, “Yeah, I saw this
movie you might like,” and I said “Really? Is it just a stupid movie
that’s been made a million times?” And PN made a comment
that echoed mine. She didn’t seem to care either. But Asia was
looking at it from a psychological angle and said it really shows
something about the depth of the emotions. Saying that it’s a
great commentary about emotions. And then we got in a little
conversation about emotions and emotional betrayal. I wish I re-
member exactly what I said because it was kind of an interest-
ing thought. I started talking about how I’m valuing emotions
more and how a couple years ago I was... I don’t know. I was just
talking about how I'm a lot different than I was a few years ago,
1411
and I placed a lot more value on them now. And I treat them
like this because they're... it was very interesting. PN was walking
back and forth while Asia and I were talking. It was the morn-
ing, so she was cleaning up or something. I don't know. And I
kept saying stuff when she was around, making these comments,
hoping that she'd hear because they'd make me look good. And
then I just remember at one point, she walked by and when she
sat down, she leaned down and her shirt was hanging a little low.
And I stood up and I went into the bathroom. And I just stared
in the mirror. And I'm like “What am I doing... I need to fuck-
ing wake up,” and so I just like woke myself up right there. I just
couldn't deal with it. I realized this was a problem to just keep
dreaming about her, even if it wasn't anything crazy.
Then right when I started doing it, though, waking up... I had al-
ready started the process of waking up. And then there was like
a quick flash where I had like a “no god no, what have I done”
kind of thought. And I walked back out and I'm like, “I could say
anything to her right here. Should I?” But the dream was already
fading. And so yeah, I was like, “What have I done? You know,
I could say anything to her or do anything with her.” But then I
just stopped and was like “You know what, whatever. It’s done.
It’s over.”
I remember I explained to her some music, telling her about

some new music of mine. And I'm like, “I need to show you some
of my music later!” And she goes “Yeah!” I guess my record-
ing studio was up in mom and dad's room back in New Jersey.
That's where I was imagining it in my mind. This was a long
damn dream, though. I remember stuff from a really long time
ago. Like really far back during the night, but I can't remember
it enough to say it. I just remember that Urfaust was really in-
fluencing my dreams, and there were hobos, really creepy hobos,
like their clochard stuff. I was just listening to them throughout

multiple dreams.
And in the toy store, there was the figurine aisle. I just remember
looking at different toys. And I was like looking around all the
different things I used to collect when I was little, and I'm like,
Awww, man, I could steal some of these if I want. What should I
steal? There’s nothing to steal. I just didn't feel like doing that.
I was comparing myself to a washing machines, like “A couple

years ago, I was as emotionless as a fucking washing machine.”
And I was just going over comparing myself to that. And I re-
member, I was saying that stuff. I wasn't really caring whether it
was true or not. I was kind of saying it. Because I was around PN,
I was trying to get her to think “He’s different now than he was
before. Emotionally, he’s learned a lot.”
“CORRIDORS”
04/09/2015 | 4:30 PM
I’m walking through the corridor. And the woman's telling me
to go back home, saying that I didn't check out as being insane.
I was a girl at the time, too. It wasn't really me, I guess. But
the woman comes up to me in the corridor. And I'm like, “why
would I check myself in here, in these circumstances, if I didn't
think that something was dreadfully wrong? This becomes so
much worse if I came all the way down here and experienced
all this and no one even notices it. And then what's the deal?
How come no one notices what I experienced? Why does every-
one think I'm so normal? Do we not have anything that can
pick these things up?” Just asking these questions, and then I
start walking to the door and the woman that was in charge, like
stomps over and get some in front me. She's like, “Listen, I know
there's something wrong, and I can't prove it.” And she's really
upset. And she arranges something with me, so I end up exag-
gerating my sanity. And I'm like “You’re asking me to exagger-
ate that?” And she's like, “I have $85,000 on the way. I will give
you one $115,000.” 85,000 was gonna be my fees. But maybe
that was her cut. I don’t know. But she was gonna give me that
if I went through with this. Because I was looking for help. She
wanted me to be locked up, for some reason. It was a really weird
scenario and she's just offering me money. And I just remember
I was a girl and I just remember I did some weird sexual pose
against her, too. Like she was standing against the wall, and I just
came up and pressed myself against her in a weird way. I was do-
ing it as a joke because I was a girl. And again, I wasn't me. It
was being done as a joke, but the woman was still like, “Stop that,
stop that.” Just like a seductive sexual pose.
1414
And then right at the end of the dream, when I was thinking
about this, I heard my dream record in the background “Keep
on going,” and the next dream sequence popped up. And then
one called my dog and my dogs name was some kind of Mexican
spice or sauce. And somehow I thought it tied in with this
dream. And I'm like, that's weird. Kind of like this name from
this dream carried over into the next one and became a dog in
that one. Just because it was apparently fresh on my mind at the
time, so it was really funny. But it was treating it like this was all
a dream. All of this is happening in the corridor of a psychiatric
hospitals. There was like a little area between doors where it was
just kind of a hallway and no one else was there but me and her.
It was weird when she was offering the money. I remember when
she gave me the figure of $115,000. It was implied that 30,000
of those dollars would be given to me to keep, because I think
$85,000 would be the debt for something else. Not for her, but
for a bill, I don't know. But she was making it clear. She's like
“This way you get $30,000 If I up this to 115. So she was telling
me this.
“KID’S BIKE”
04/10/2015 | 3:05 PM
That was weird. I spent the whole time lost. Well, at first I was
at church. While we were at church and I hid my CDs and
everything under the seat when that girl was rummaging through
them, through the rooms. And I had all my stuff. I had my Poké-
mon cards and my CDs so that no one would get them and use
them for the games we were playing, because that's what we were
doing. They're getting everyone's personal, private possessions.
Vernon had like two wives and I couldn't tell which one was his
real one. There was like Cindy and someone else who was also
Cindy. Me and that little girl hung out a lot at that one part. And
then I was just like, “Okay, go ahead now!” So they don't catch us
together and figure our we’re doing something, because she was
the person responsible for going around and collecting peoples
stuff. Probably like ten years younger than me.
Anyway, there was a lot of church stuff. And then later on I went
for a drive by myself. No, I was in my house. I remember I was in
that shower in someone else's house. And they're banging on the
door. The girl at the door was getting mad, telling me why she
needed me to open up quick. So I had gotten a shower. I threw
on my pants and still didn’t have a shirt on and I had like a beard
from all the hair the way it was stuck around me. I looked real-
ly cool, though. And so I unlocked the door and she just came
in right away without me even opening it. And she just came in
and said a couple words and grabbed the things she needed, left
and I'm like “Jeez, she just did that and I looked so cool standing
here?” But then I realized her ex boyfriend or something like that
1416
was standing there in the corner, and I thought “Oooh, okay.” So

that was probably weird.
There was this other kid who lived here too, this guy. Younger
than the daughter, I was talking to him when came in. I forget
who it was. Anyway, then I went and took off going back to
somewhere else. So I hopped on a bike and took off. It was not
until I was already a bit down the street, driving down a busy
highway. When I realized I was on a little girl's bike, it was like
meant for four or five year olds, it was so little, and I knew it was
small and it was a kids bike, but I didn't know it was this one. I
didn't know it was white and pink. I thought it was the boys one.
It had a little light on the end of it. And it's still pretty fast. It was
so small and uncomfortable. And I just remember, like pedaling
really hard to get up the hill. And there was a guy in a truck in
front of me, he kept looking behind him going, “what the hell?
What is coming after me!??” He just saw my light in the dark-
ness. He shouted something then I shouted something back. I
forget what it was, but they were just kept going and going and I
finally got to like Timberlake Road.
Then I got stuck in a traffic jam. No, I got fucking hit by a bus. I
wasn't thinking. I wasn't being too cautious about going because
I was just like, ‘Okay, it's a green light’. So I wasn't being cautious.
Then suddenly boom, red light. And these two giant buses coms,
each from different directions. One comes from left. One comes
from the right, and they're coming to turn in a certain way. And
just bam, right into me, and I spun out. And I was so lucky that’s
all that happened because I could have really gotten killed right
there. Someone was talking about that, like ‘geez, you need to
watch out.”
But then I went a little further. Then I got stuck in like traffic.
And something was holding things up. And I got stuck behind
this cart of people. There was like, I remember I was driving
down the road. I looked back and there was like all these... like
this display of this girl and she was lying on this float kind of half
naked or all naked, and I remember looking back, and this guy
with me was shielding her from me, saying “oh no no!” And I’m
like “Dude, I’m fucking 26 years old. What do you think you're
shielding from me?” And he responded with an “oh”. So then he's
just laughing to himself. I think he thought I was younger be-
cause I was driving the kids bike.
then in front of me was that little float with the girl. She was
like lying down in this little... traveling. It was like a little pen on
wheels, where she was in this thing with this dog. So I'm riding
down the road. She's looking up at me now while we’re stopped
at the stoplight. And she's sneezing, and I’m like “You allergic?”
At this point, my bike is a bit bigger. That's because I'm not on
the small bike anymore. I made it onto some other platform, my
bike had like fallen through the cracks or something. I remem-
ber holding on to this wire that was holding my bike. There's
also that thing about Kramer, a picture on my bike. It was like
religious so it felt weird. Anyway, so I’m like “Allergic” and she
goes “Yeahhhh.” And there was another girl in a bikini with a
dog, and she was shivering, and I ask “You cold?” And she goes
“Yeaahhhhh.”
I remember writing this all down into my dream to like, put in

my dream journal.
Then I remember there was another girl and she had something
wrong too. I'm just talking to him. They're just talking to me.
They're just three girls in bikinis just sitting there with dogs. Just
keeping the dogs tame. So I'm just talking to them. I forget about
what. I was just having conversations. I was telling them what I
was looking for. I'm like ‘yeah, I'm driving this bike over here’ and
I pull onto the wire and pull it out of the cracks of the vehicles,
and the bike now looked all black and white and it was still a
kids bike. And they were like “Whoaaa that’s weird.” “Yeah, I’ve
been riding this. I got hit by some buses.” So we're just talking
and we're just, you know, going on.
We kept driving down the road like this. And then there's other
guys behind me. And there's like a group of us we’re just like trav-
eling together on this platform. And then we pass back by a toy
store, like Toys R Us. And I'm like, “oooooooooh, booooooooy,
where are we?” And I thought “This is not where I expected to
go. Where they hell am I? We’re lost!” I asked where they were
you my and the I turn around, and there’s a toy store. “thatttttt
isss the biiigest to store I’ve eeever seen” and were just driving
right by it. “I bet they have all SORTS of good candy.” And then
the guys who driving with me, they reach out as we drove by,
reached into some boxes on the side of the building and someone
pulled out boxes of marshmallow Peeps, and I’m thinking ‘How
did you guys get them? Geez, aren't you gonna offer me some?’ They
didn't know. They were just eating them just trying to look cool.
So we're all just talking. I'm like “Does anyone know where Tim-
berlake is?”
And they go “Timberlake Dark?”
“And I'm like, “No, just Timberlake.”
“We call it Timberlake Dark.”

And then someone else had another name for it name. “We just
call it this, like Disneyland drive.” I forget what they called it. But
I'm like, “I need to get there. Where are we?!”
I eventually made it back to my house, which is when I woke

up. Me and my sister, my father were all getting home after these
ridiculous adventures. And we were just sitting at the the laptop
trying to write down the days events. And Asia was looking over
my shoulder going “What did you just copy into the clipboard?
What are you pasting? You didn't paste anything.”
“Yeah, I copied this. I did. I'm pasting this and I’m saving it.”
“I couldn't see that.”
I'm like, “Yeah.”
And there was like this weird part where when she was talking, I
was thinking that I was there when you got raped, but I was over-
seeing it. Just to make sure they didn't go too far. Something dark
like that. Maybe not rape, but when they took advantage of her
in some way. I was there to to make sure they didn't go too far.
I told her that before she figured it out. But this part was not in
the dream. It’s just something I remember telling her at the end.
23:13
my dad, lucid Melinda goes dark. And it didn't look anything

like that. Well, it might have been. It was like there was no rails
on the deck. I was really done. But my dad was thinking about
getting a new identity. And he's like, I'm gonna have a new iden-
tity somewhere. And it's like, he's like, I'm gonna go to a Mar-
di Gras festival, because that's gonna never do and he's going on
about all these things. And I'm like, kind of inspired by Dean
and all that goes me too. And then they're just sitting there. I had
something to say like, guys doing this is not going to do this. But
they were just thinking.
Yeah, it sucked being at church in the beginning. We were at

some kind of conference, the day long two day long conference, I
don't know. And so we were like, I was stuck there for a day. And
the youth leaders were horrible. I just they weren't like, what were
your fears? Never some new people. And they were really, they
did whatever they wanted. And they were just horrible people.
And that's why when I went on the parking lot later, I saw this
girl rummaging through my car on the seats. And I'm like, What
the hell are you doing? I got one. It's just it's like 10 year old girls
and kind of reddish hair. And once you got there, and she got
like a binder full of stuff, like cards and then a CD case. And like,
let me take a look at this. You know, I was like, I'm gonna try and
make a believe we'll just put some of these away and put some
of these in Waterland just so they don't say wait, this guy didn't
have any series. But then I was looking to it. I'm like, you know, it
doesn't matter. I don't want all this stuff to be pulled around. So
I just took them like, I just let me have this and she's like, I don't
know. I'm just like, just let me have it and I explained to her why
it was Okay, I got her on my side so then I just like something
underneath the seat maybe in another car and it just came out we
don't we walk back we're in this room we're just talking and then
we had to come out into the hall told her to go ahead and we just
sit on sauce
“LOST MY WIG”
04/11/2015 | 8:53 AM
My wig fell off. And I didn’ realize it for a while, probably like an
hour or more. I had like gone to church. And it was Come Alive,
too. It was New Jersey. I had this long hair and I went to there
and I came back, and I went back out later, and this time I had
a giant helmet thing on now, not helmet but just a big then over
my hair. And when I took that off, I guess something screwed
up. So for about a half hour I was walking around with short
hair and no one said anything so it freaked me out. I remember I
came back soon, from a place, but I really want to talk to this one
girl and it was really driving me nuts. And then my dad, I remem-
ber he was going back out to do some work over at that place. He
was called over to do it. And I asked if I could go with him and
he said yeah. I went in the back room in New Jersey. To see what
my mom was doing. she was on the computer in the back room
in New Jersey. I just stood there and she didn't even look at me.
And then I just walked out and after a while I hear “What, what
do you want” like when I was already out of the room (very real-
istic)
1422
“WINE AND OATMEAL
STOLEN”
04/12/2015 | 9:54 AM
Ah, at the end, my wine and oatmeal got stolen. I was walking
through that weird building the whole time. At first I started off
we're at that place outside we're trying to get tickets for some-
thing. I got lost from everyone pretty much immediately outside.
I started out in the car with like Ally and her sister and her father.
We were just like driving get to some place, forget where, and I
guess I met up with my family later. We all went to some kind of
festival concert kind of thing that was indoors but partially out-
doors. So I remember I followed after them but then I got sepa-
rated from them and could not find them anywhere. I was walk-
ing on the field. I was walking around the building over and over
again. And I think I offended some people with how fast I was
running. People were like kind of freaked out by everything that
outsiders did. They just didn't... I had to be on good behavior at
certain points. I remember then I went inside and there was a
bunch of stuff going on.
There was that part where everyone was going to bed for the
night and I got chased down the hall a million times, and kept
dying and coming back to life and being given another chance.
Because those guys were chasing me down the hall. It was like
a game show room. Was that the game show room? That was a
weird place. I finally found everyone and they were setting up
their hotel room for the night. And I’m like, “Are we sleeping
here? I need to go get my wine and oatmeal and money and art-
work.” And they just look at me and go “...okay?”
1423
Then I went into the wrong room. It was like, right, next to ours.
And I got chased by all these people in there, because I didn't
know it was theirs. And I kept doing that. And then I ended up
at the a place that was another person's house, but that was filled
with zoo animals. Oh my gosh, and there was that weird boy who
grabbed on to me and freaked me out. The really boy little boy
who was like, possessed sounding and was trying to tell me all
these things. When I walked in the building that one time, that
was a creepy kid, and I was kind of worried by having him around
me anyone and that he would put his hand around on my neck. I
remember someone standing there watching that, too. Who was
it that I knew that was standing there watching that happen? It
was just freaky. Just a little boy. Probably like seven years old.
Black.
That was after one of the times I finally came in from outside.
And then there was that part where I found that tunnel. I had
to swim through this weird soapy water. I had to swim through
sperm and soapy water and all these things. And there was cer-
tain water I couldn't pass. But I was like looking at a map, instead
of looking at what was really going on. And I was swimming in
this really narrow spot trying to get through to escape from this
giant beast, like this stampeding beast, it was just one but he was
running. Running really fast through this place after I broke in-
to this zoo like place where some people were staying. So there
was a stampede going on. And so I swam through this stuff and
I made it away from them, but then I couldn't figure out how to
get through anymore. But then I brushed my hand on the side
and found that the part of this wall was fake. It was comprised
of like bread and cookies and chips that I think me and a couple
other people put there earlier. So I went through that.
Eventually found myself in the hallway. I think it was like the

next morning by the time I got back out. By that time everybody
in my family who was still in my room was already back out into
the main place. So they got right by me somehow. I remember
when ai finally made it to the top of the building after looking
for it for so long. And I was like ‘okay, now I'm about to top of
the building. I know exactly where I put my oatmeal and wine
and money.’ So I ran down the stairs, very weird stairs. I did a
little bit of climbing back down to like the second or third lev-
els. Then when I looked up the wall, it was originally inside of
a wall that was like tacked together. So there was originally like
silly putty, kinda just some putty kind of stuff holding this wall.
Cut up to the actual wall wood. and so you open it up and then
there's my stuff. I found that pretty early on, when we were com-
ing through. So I was like ‘that's good. I'll keep my stuff here even
though it’s not safe’. Then Im like uhhhhhh, I looked at it and
looked a little different. Like it had been broken a little bit. So
then I opened up the wall. No wine left. No oatmeal. Pictures
of my art were still there. They weren’t like physical, they were
digital pictures. So I remember there were some thumbs up on
them like kind of on Facebook how you get likes, and four peo-
ple had liked these pictures of mine. They were very simple, they
didn't have anything to them. they were just like backgrounds.
like the background from All Pepper Blown Away. Stuff like that.
It didn’t have me in them. So four people liked them, which I
thought were was weird. And I saw crumpled up picture of like a
go kart license of mine from when I was 10 years old.
And I saw some correspondences of myself because I had access

to something, some page of mine, or someone was asking if I was
coming out with a new CD soon. And my money was still. There
there was only like 16 bucks or something around that. I remem-
ber seeing two or three fives and several ones, so it was probably
about 20, but it was still there. So I was like wow, someone came
over here, counted how much there was and decided that it’s not
enough to really change their lives but that I could... that the per-
son who owns it might be needing it because it could be all they
have. So that’s good. Even though I wasn’t happy having to tell
my dad I needed more wine and oatmeal. I was like whatever. So
I went back upstairs and told him.
“GREASE UP THE WORLD”
04/14/2015 | 9:57 AM
“Grease up the world, so when I come slipping and sliding into it
I don't come to a dead stop but keep on going.”
At the end I remember telling Nanny about servitors and she rec-
ognized what I was talking about, she went on this big—oh wait
what the fuck was on that stuff going going on in the mountains.
I remember running away. First I took off running, and then I
went out for a drive, and I ended up so lost. This really creepy
woody path, though. My father had chased me out of the house
and I lost him. I got a head started. I forget what it was that I did
that he didn’t like.
Veronica was in it at one point. We were somehow trying to

recreate some scenes from like 2008 or something, which didn't
make any sense. I think that's what we were saying. I also remem-
ber talking with Uncle Jamie a lot later. I forget. I'm really having
such bad recall lately. It pisses me off.
1427
“TATTOOS”
04/13/2015 | 9:49 AM*
This was a weird dream. The end was the same as the beginning.
Every day for 10 days there was something about getting a dif-
ferent tattoo, signifying something. I was a different person for
some of those days. It was trying to show off their experience and
how they dealt with ... I don't know, something about their sexu-
ality. I remember there was a girl that was way too young for me.
But we were just like, I remember sitting at her feet, we never did
anything, we were just talking. We were on the steps of my deck.
There were very few steps and no gate, so I remember going out-
side to piss in the middle of the night. I'm like wait, I don't have
to do this in the yard where I'm in danger of being attacked and
something something.
1428
“THE FOOL”
04/17/2015 | 10:34 AM
At the very end some black guy, not fully black but kind of look-
ing that way, came up with someone else, they came for me want-
ing to box and I accepted it. This is while the challenge to fight
that other person was still ongoing. There were like three black
women who were sitting up on the ledge and were joking around
talking, asking what me and my girl were doing, and I said “mag-
ic.” They were like the “oh, you don't mean that crap kind of mag-
ic... goetic stuff.” And I said “Goetia? No, that’s all bullshit. I’m
more eclectic than that.” And I'm just saying stuff. I remember
they were just talking and making jokes and stuff and they were
really cool. Sort of a mix of black and Brazilian or something
cool like that.
When that guy came walking out, they all turned into this giant
golden royal mask tribal face thing, all three or four of them, and
challenged me to something. It was really weird.
There was that part with me and the girl up in that room. She
was really strong. I just remember her being super fucking strong.
She was stronger than me. She was like... I was really physically
weak. She was extremely strong. Muscular.
In the other room previously, where me and her had to climb out
the window. I don’t know how she died. It kind of freaks me out.
I sent her back into the store that we're in previously, just because
I left my bags on the bottom floor and I wanted to go and grab
them from the store. First floor, without me having to run into
anyone I ran into before. No bad people. But just like there was
1429
that guy in the wheelchair, who questioned me at the door, who

just kind of kept talking about atheism and stuff.
Then there was that part when I was in the mall. I was being
chased by those neighbors because I was watching their kids fight
or play and they thought it was creepy so they were coming af-
ter me. And I was hiding in this hardware store and this guy
was showing me some tool. It wasn't exactly a tool. Some kind of
grease or lube. Something simple. He sold it to me for like $10. I
didn’t even need it.
When I was in the yard... I was in my backyard and I just heard

the neighborhood kids all fighting and playing around, just like
play fighting, and I was standing there watching in the dark,
just standing in the bushes. And they saw me and said
“Teennnnndon, go away!” or something like that because they
knew I was watching. Then I went to some other place in the area
and just stood watching from somewhere else where they would
have had no chance of seeing me, but they sensed me there and
next thing I know the mom came running down the street after
me but I was too fast and I took off where she didn't even know
where I was. I ran off down the street, hidden in some bushes,
and everyone was looking for me and we’re going to call the po-
lice on me.
So I eventually made it to the mall. Caked a bunch of cool blood

on my face. Did I? No, I think I just hallucinated that.
I was at the hardware store talking to dude for a while. He’s ask-
ing different questions and I passed his test and he was like “Get
this.” And he hands me the grease. So I’m like sure why not.
There were a bunch of guys outside the store who looked at me
like I was a sucker, like “You don't need to get that stuff,” but I re-
member thinking yeah, I think I could use this, so I was not con-
cerned.
I don’t know where I met that girl. Very strong, very cool. Light
hair, I think. Pretty tall. We were in the snow at one point.
Getting increasingly agitated. I remember when I was staying in

that place this woman called me... they compared me to the Em-
peror and I was about to say “Nope! The Fool!” I never got to say
it before those people came out and started trying to tell me that
the girl had died and I had to go back in and help revive her. It
was like a video game. Death was bad, but it was not irremedia-
ble.
Towards the end I sent that girl back in the store.
I was going to the upper level and that guy in a wheelchair was
sitting there and he came at me and he asked me about atheism
when I told him I was an atheist, and he’s like “Yaaaa?” And the
store was so noisy you couldn't really hear me well, and I was like
“There’s more of us all the time.” or something I forget was say-
ing, but it was kind of weird, especially since I’m not an athe-
ist I’m an agnostic. I remember a bunch of people just sitting
around staring at me, they were like “oh no” because I went near
the wheelchair guy and I guess he had a reputation as someone
who didn’t let people go. He was trying to get me something, or
he gave me something to use.
• I remember hugging that girl a bit. She was really great. I forget
what I just did. I did something cool, though. I think I flipped the
apple upside down in the image and I used it... it was in my golden
image, my logo thing.
“I have to do everything and I’m TIRED and they’re making

me do everything.” That was going through my head just now.
Don’t know why. I’m hallucinating I guess. I remember walking

through the food store. Like a gas station mart. Walking around
looking for candy.
At the end of the other dream, the woman said something along
the lines of “Do you relate to the Emperor?” I figured they were
referring to the tarot, so I had my mind to say “I relate to the
fool,” but that's when that guy came in and told me what hap-
pened to the girl.
“NORWEGIAN HIGH-FIVE”
04/17/2015 | 7:05 PM
Spent of the time in bed in that dream, and it's pretty much just
the same as reality because now I'm waking up right into where
I thought I was, except that company was over—my father’s par-
ents. Upstairs. I was trying to go up there and tell my mom I’m
not ready. And I was just going to get a drink or something and
come back down. Like I'm not waking up or coming up to social-
ize yet. And so in that amount of time, I remember my dad was
standing on the deck and telling a story about he was out in pub-
lic and these Norwegian guys high fived him. I’m like “What's
all that about?” He says “I don’t know, They were setting some-
thing up and they thought I was this person. So they high-fived
me.” “That’s weird.” And so I'm talking about that. And then I
remember walking down stairs when I saw some people start to,
you know, it was partitioned off a little bit, living room. So when
I saw one of them, I decided to go back downstairs. I rested in my
bed. I might have eaten a little food. I was really tired. Turned on
like a podcast and the guy was suffering and creativity and mag-
ic. He was like “Thomas Jefferson suffered. No matter how trag-
ic and no matter how much suffering you think you’ve endured,
Thomas Jefferson suffered more.” I think he was just using it as
an example, not to mean that Thomas actually suffered, but was
using it as an example of how people feel a certain way.
Then I went up after a little while. I saw them all, they were all
sitting on the couch. I was wearing my hat and I thought “oh no
did I forget to change my shirt.” I was wearing Dean’s shirt. And
one of the first things he said is, “I saw how you make your mon-
ey.” And I go “What do you mean how I make my money?” And
1433
he said “oh, the mailboxes.” And I said “Oooh no! That’s not how
I make my money.” And everyone is laughing, because he had
misunderstood something that was said earlier about some of my
silly outings. He thought I was selling people candy. I said “No, I
just put candy into mailboxes as a joke.”
I remember at one point looking out the window, down the

street a bit, and seeing a giant hill, and there were things running
around, and I’m like “What are they!?! Figurines? Dolls? Real
people? How big would they be if we could see them for that size
from down here?” And my father goes “Oh they’re just about
that size.” And I go “What size?” There were just these weird
Grinch-like Dr. Seuss giants running around by the hill... really
crazy.
“HELLIONS”
04/18/2015 | 10:01 AM
Concert at the end. My place was being invaded by hellions.
Knights of Saturn...?
Pretending that I was gay.
There was a history there. The monster thought that I got too
close to his girlfriend, so I pretended to be gay in order to keep
him from retaliating.
I woke him up saying “Quick. We need to pretend that we’re

gay.”
——
There was that concert at the end. There was that part where my
place was invaded by this like group of people from Hell. This
really creepy guy was the ringleader... and he was a very creepy
guy whose path I did not wish to cross. There was also that part
where I was driving down the road, and later I was in the store
with a pocket full of bees. I got like thirty bees got loose. I had so
many inside this thing and they all squeezed through it and that
really sucked. I was going into the store to get something from
the frozen food section but it wasn’t frozen. It was like some kind
of gas. Physics? That girl... was physics at the school...?
That’s what I did when that creepy guy from hell came marching
up to me. There were dozens of demons. I ran back into my Lon-
donberry room and I was pretending I was gay.
1435
That was creepy when those things invaded. I just remember ly-
ing there with a guy and we weren’t actually doing anything gay,
but we were lying there when the hellions walked in.
• Okay, I’ll take this sometime. This AL-J bottle, or something, but
not now.
That gameshow thing was weird. I remember that guy trying to

play something on like a sampler or synthesizer but it was so low
it's not going through and getting drowned out by everything
else. I was trying to help out, and I got it to work again but then
he was done with it.
I don't know how much of that previous dream because I know I

was talking for a while still and I wasn't recording.
Was there something like Knights of Saturn? Something weird

like that. I can’t for the life of me remember what I was getting
in that little gas station mart. It was in the frozen food... it was
the freezer... and also the reason I was pretending I was gay was
because I think this had something to do with... I remember that
thing that was doing the ceremony, that thing thought... I think
I had a history of it thinking that I got too close to its girlfriend.
and I don't know something really bizarre, even though it was
like a monster there was something weird like that involved. I
forget what happened but I think I came too near to the room in
which they were doing their stuff and I remember hearing them
down in the basement and it was just really really creepy and I
went into the bathroom like “Oh no. Oh shit.” And so then I ran
back to my bedroom and you, this is all in a Londonberry, and I
just had this dude sleeping in my bed and He was just a friend,
and I woke him up and I was like “Quick, we need to pretend
we’re gay.”
There was also that part where I was riding down the highway,
like out in the middle of some weird desert area. Hopping from
car to car or something. I was just standing on top of a car while
it was driving at high speeds. And this was like really shortly after
the bee thing. I feel like there's still bees involved at this point.
I don’t remember what I was doing. Some really weird action
movie kind of stuff goes there. I remember when I went up to the
counter at the gas station I stood... Well, I don't know what I got
from the freezer. I remember that you had to be like over a cer-
tain age to get to it. So I was kind of like staring at a trying to fig-
ure out how to open the freezer because I think it had like a child
safety thing on it and then someone else came by and opened it
up so okay, so when they walked I grabbed on to the handle be-
fore it closed again because I couldn't figure it out myself, and so
then when I went up to the counter I had to be checked for my
age. I forget what it was. It wasn’t like alcohol or anything. It was
like air. Like a little tank of something.
When I got up to the counter, I reached into my pocket and

pulled out a little cage-like thing filled with bees. And I’m like
“Oh no, this part here is loose, it’s not secured,” and as I realized
it there were bees climbing up at the top, and I couldn't fix it in
time. They were just squeezing out of the cracks. And they were
just like fifty of them ended up on the floor. And the people be-
hind the counter were freaking out.
”QUESTO”
04/18/2015 | 7:48 PM
I had jumped in the car with Nanny and Asia and was being dri-
ven around by this weird person who was two people simulta-
neously, although they were not in the same location. So I asked
“So what does it mean to have two of you around this town? Are
you treated as two individuals or does everything I say to you
go to that one too. So it'll be like nothing new to that person.”
They said it was like the latter. They were laughing. And this was
that person I saw earlier. This is like a flashback I guess of seeing
them the first time, because earlier on in the dream I was with
them, but that was like more in the futureWe were making fu-
ture noises. They were just grinning a lot. I guess they were fe-
male. They had feminine features, but they were also very, I don't
know, they're just kind of sly, weird... I don't know. But they were
just making a lot of noises. Like *electronic sci-fi laser gun nois-
es* I don't know, it was just really funny. I made a comment about
that, like “Geez, future noises? So soon?” When they came to
pick me, Nanny and Asia up, that was because the fuckers at the
pizza place messed up on the coffee and tried to sell us some-
thing that they didn't have. And so they said, “Well, here's what
we’ll do. We'll give you a ride to Questo’s. They’ve got the coffee,
they've got this special kind of coffee. Get in the car, we'll get you
there.” My dad was pissed off. He's like, he was pissed off about
the whole thing. But now he's like, and “Now we're just supposed
to expect them to do this?” And then he didn't want... He was
like, “Now we're supposed to trust these guys to go and get back
alright?” And I’m like “It’s FINE, dad, you can just track the
whole thing online, you can just see this. You have a map here. It's
got sigils on it.” And he's like ... “It doesn't work that way.” And so
1438
I'm looking at it on the map and I'm like “This thing fucking does
work that way.” There's freaking social on this thing. My dad was
stupid because he could have just smeared the whole... smeared
the whole trip right here just by going to the beach. Or going by
taking a look at how this ocean looked over here. Because there
was like a little pond on the map, a little lake. And like he could
have fucking smeared this if he wanted to. And if he was pissed
off, but he's not because he just doesn't look into that stuff.
So I'm sitting there having this rant with the person, the weird
person driving us, and Asia and Nanny in the backseat. So this
was really weird. There was like this one weird guy over at the
park. And he was like, what was he called? It was like a weird
hooded cloak kind of guy. Just kind of like a bald... Looks like
one of the guys on the Abruptum album cover, and he was some-
one's helper. I don't know what his name was. But I think there
was another one of him too. I just remember making comments
asking something like “He’s down there, huh? We were talking
about him because we could see him when we passed by. It was
really dark out and that was pretty creepy.
There was also an animal. Was I petting some vicious thing?
I don't know but this is really weird, and I saw this person a while
ago, but now... So we were all sitting there eating this pizza. I had
to go to bed. I was dead fucking tired. I needed to go back to
sleep. And I was just gonna eat a little bit of pizza. I didn’t care
about the coffee as much as the others, but I thought hey, you
know, I'll get another coffee and I'll get a coffee like they are be-
cause they said it was a super flavorful brand, but then the pizza
person said they didn’t have it, and I just remember sitting up in
this weird bunker place just going “Huh?” So then they’re get-
ting pissed off and my dad is standing in the doorway arguing

with the person delivering it.
This person was awesome, this future sounds person. They were
awesome. We went on the deck and we started going *pew pew
pew* That’s when they're making noises and they had this super
weird grin. And they were just like *shwoo! pew pew! Fwooo!*
while we're just walking down this deck. It wasn’t just like, out
of nowhere, but they were doing something and they were mak-
ing noises to it. And they just did things that way. They weren’t
human. It was very futuristic. But there was something about it
I was just mocking them, like “What? Future sounds already?”
And I jumped up with my finger guns and was going *pew pew!
Pew pew* and then they jump up and start doing it too and it
was hilarious. Really weird sight, but I guess we were pretty close.
Maybe this wasn't the first time we met. I don’t know.
I was hanging out around the house and didn’t even want the
pizza and coffee. My mom kept going “hey do you wanna get
something?” And I said no. And then I was up in the attic with
these clothes, looking into clothes or something? I don't know.
I wish I remembered more because that whole ‘smear the map’
thing was so interesting. The end was so sci-fi, because my father
was getting really mad... I was like “Man, my father is stupid.“ By
smearing the map, I guess that was a slang term? I guess he would
disrupt something far away. I think he didn't feel safe with this
group of people or what they were doing. I’m like “Come on.
They're just gonna take us to Questo’s to get the coffee. If you
don't like it fucking smear the map.” I think that just meant to
wipe something out.
I think that guy at the lake had something to do with it.

I feel like there was more driving around the car in this but I
woke up recapping this to someone I was like, I'm just fucking
smear the map. You know, I was getting mad. I was like recapping
this. I knew I woke up, but then I just completely went off into
a dream again just by seeing people before I was fully awake or
something.
”TEA CANDLES”
04/19/2015 | 11:11 PM
Tea candles before the jury which represented specific spirits.
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“ACTRESS”
04/20/2015 | 8:47 AM
At the end I remember getting a letter. She was just saying “Jeez,
I mean, I'm the daughter of, you know, I'm the daughter of... I’m
an actress, director, so and so, you know. I’m something some-
thing south, something southwest, something north. I’m some-
thing amazing, something something.”And she continued, “And
you’re a magician who also does realty in disguise, and is highly
amusing.” And then she gave me her coordinates. I also remem-
ber running through the desert from Bill Cosby. I broke into this
campsite, took tons of cookies, money and whatever I could find,
and shoved it in my pocket while everyone else who owned this
little shack was working outside, I took off through the sand and
made it to this migration center or depot, and I was sleeping in
it, like in this little Mexican section.
Me and some girl were messaging for a while online. And then
that part at the end, my parents had dropped in. I remember ly-
ing on my stomach talking to the girl and my father peeking into
the window. And I’m like “Shit, he saw me!” Because they had
been gone for a while and I had snuck out or something. And so
there's something about that, like he wasn't supposed to be able
to see that I was here or see how to get in touch with me, so I
just remember him breaking in, reaching his hand around, and
he came in in some weird way. And I remember him tugging my
shirt and all these other weird things while I was talking. I was
just fully consumed with the letter I was writing. That was even
her last letter. I mean, she wasn’t even supposed to send that one
since we already said our goodbyes. Well, I tried to say my good-
byes but then I said several things and I said a Latin motto and
1443
I’m like geez I need to just say goodbye and go. We talked a lot
online. That was fun.
• Even her dog, which was being punished by the Supreme Court.
I don't even know what she did wrong. Wearing a white blouse. I
don’t know who she is.
Will was in my dream. He had sent me messages as well. And I

remember hearing about his kickstarter campaigns. This is after
I told him about Rocky’s campaign. But yeah this girl was with
me throughout a lot of the dream and I just remember hugging
her on and on. It was me, her and one other person and we were
just going all around this world and there were creepy things
coming and things ending, and I kept reaching out to make sure
people were safe and it was really cool. I don’t remember how
we got separated at the end. But then there was the whole thing
like “you're a magician, I'm an actress.” And it was just a weird
thing. Like is she putting an end to this or just pointing out that
we're very different. But I mean, I remember saying “I’ll see you
tonight... no, tomorrow.” And I remember saying “why did I say
tonight, now she's gonna think that I'm just dumb and trying to
get more.” Because I mean, I knew she was gonna come tomor-
row morning and I was just waiting for her in this house that did
not resemble any house I’ve ever known.
I remember hiding. I was in like a Hawaiian Polynesian section

sleeping with one leg retracted and I remember pissing my pants
there too. That was when Bill Cosby ran by and he didn't know
it was me just because the section I was in, because the map on
my chest did not say the locations that I went by with him, or
the location that he was at. They were out in the middle of this
dark desert and I broke into their camp and stole their stuff. And
took off. I had porn tape that I stole that I didn't know was a
porn tape. But it was his that he made and he did not want it
out. I didn't know that's what was on the tape. I was just taking
anything I could. took a bunch of cookies, money and whatever
else. Whenever things got really dangerous and people came at
us with guns and stuff I would always just go over and hug the
girl and make sure she's okay. And it was really cute. The whole
time I was looking out for her above myself.
The dream was very adventurous. It was just like me and two
people traveling across the world. It was me, a girl, and one other
person. I don't know if they're a guy or a girl. I don’t know who
they were. I think they might have been another girl. I'm not
sure but every time there was just tons of creepy stuff happening.
Like we would be driving across the country and then we would
be running and then we'd be entering buildings. It was kind of
like a creepy adventure. Well, I mean, it wasn't supposed to be
creepy.we were just going places and sometimes l scary things
would happen we would be unsure of what was going on. And I
would just always be trying to console her. Every time something
freaky happened I would just look over at her and see her star-
ing at me like she was already waiting for me, you know, kind of
dependent on my protection, so I would go and throw my arms
round her, acting sort of heroic.
I just remember there was a part towards the end, the last time
that I saw her in the dream. I don't remember what happened
but we were alone. Just us. I don't really remember what we were
up to, but I just remember running my hands over her body.
And just maybe she was doing the same thing. I mean, we were
clothed, but very amorous and fondly.
“HOOKERS OF ALL AGES”
04/21/2015 | 9:45 AM
I was in the movie theater with Sam. I forget what we were
watching. We were with others. We were not on Earth. It was a
whole other planet that we had just arrived on, where all the peo-
ple were hookers. It was really creepy, too. There were hookers in
their forties. There were hookers in their fifties. And there were
hookers that were like five and six. And every age in between.
And it was creepy. I remember when we got there one of the guys
was like “Ooooh noooo.” And every one of us was freaked out
by the ages we just stayed away from it. So many people on this
planet were diseased.
I looked up some of these things. I found these things tucked

away in a ceiling or something. A little bag showing what my
grandparents took... like a wishbone.
Dammit, fuck, have I been talking about medicine the entire

time. Shit! Okay, there was that theater... dammit! They said
“What’s that thing on the table?” “That’s the medicine.”
Sam and I went to a theater and we kept... What was that part
where we were standing outside the theater? We took a break,
went and did something and came back in for a while and sat
back down. We found this weird little nook that had all this
medicine stuffed in it... all this stuff. And we were like “What’s
this?” It was like a ceiling tile pulled down. It had these notes
and some other stuff. And lastly a couple bags of medicine. The
notes would say “Helps with such and such, but may cause mis-
anthropy,” and things of that nature; all these serious psycho-
logical issues that were far worse than the benefits of taking the
1446
medicine. These drugs pretty much did nothing but make you a
bad person and I was getting sick just looking at it. And I’m like
“They took this?” The person that took these was apparently an
ancestor of mine.
When we first arrived on this planet we got our and there were
all these hookers and they just flocked to us. And then there were
all those different guys in uniforms. I don’t really remember any-
thing about the uniforms, they were cool and I think I might
have said something about them. But yeah, it was kind of creepy.
Me and like six or seven buddies, we got out in this little port
area? This ship port area? There were girls everywhere but they
ranged in age from like five years old to like in their forties and it
was like oh geez. I remember when one of my friends saw the five
year old he was like “Shit, I’m getting outta here.” It just seemed
so creepy and depraved.
• I was trying to figure out why these cows were coming home with
these tin diseases... barmy blood. I’m hallucinating, I guess.
At the end I was back in this house and I was upstairs with Asia
and she was getting ready to go somewhere. I was acting all hip-
pyish. I remember her walking by me and asking “Is that what
you’re going to wear?” And I nodded. It was very strange. Yeah
but I was getting really annoyed at her. She was going out with
all these people... well, the same reason I’m annoyed with her in
real life.
• That was creepy. Not like a monster, but just morally creepy. Talk-
ing to my wall? Let’s try it. Someone else is guilty of... the sign out of
the door? What? What? Hey! Demon worship. Someone was guilty
of demon worship, and violating the contracts, violating the con-
tracts with stupidity.
• This woman tried to help them all but she keeps falling down the
curtains... has their arm around them but they’re not very receptive
to what she’s saying. That’s a shame.
There was some specific reason for why Asia needed to stay here
and it was pissing me off so much that she was neglecting that.
• She always seems drunk, though, my fucking mother. Hard for me

to laugh at her laughter when it all sounds so drunk. Doesn’t sound
like pleasure. Doesn’t sound like satisfaction. Sounds like mindless-
ness.
I remember walking through the aisles simply avoiding the

hookers. When you got touched with them it was just like
“Ewww you lose.”
I remember running into some guy here that I met back on

Earth, I'm like “Hey did you sign up for this package and he's like
“No, I'm just going back to society, doing whatever.” Because I
was asking him to sign up for a specific package or challenge, a
course in an academy, but he skipped it.
• I remember making a claim that I was better than someone else

who was like an expert, and they were like “More x? Yeah. Better?
No. I can beat you in 20 seconds,” and I was like “Nope.
• Is torsuna really blue? Torsuna, or tursona, means blue in Latin?

I don’t know, I doubt it.
• The waiter was like “This is a stick-up, man.” What the heck hap-
pened with the bubbles? It was a movie and these guys were practic-
ing, pretending to stick each other up and see if they could get away
with it, like in a training school. One of them said something funny.
It wasn't bubbles. I mean, what was it?
• Is the key world (?) here? Yeah...! Eight more minutes.

“TIGERS”
04/21/2015 | 10:34 AM
Tiger lying on the floor near where the dining room and the
staircase meet. It’s the Tiger from Aladdin, and it’s lying on its
back in my kitchen.
• Kyle from accounting, he said that the situation was... I don’t

know if it was improving or not, but they’re all coking up over there.
They’re all coking up. Weird Indian group. Only two minutes left,
and most of these are gonna be advertisements for religions I don't
even believe in... I don’t know, I can't tell if it’s a picture, or my
thoughts, my brain, my world, my computer screen. I don't under-
stand. I can’t even tell if I’m in my bed. But it’s eating my battery
like some kind of starved animal.
• Painful... Tarzan, swinging from tree to tree, yawn to yawn.
• (Illegible) Cheese and pepperoni. I can put all sorts of things on it,
but it’s best if you don’t tell me what to put on it. Mouth to mouth...
you wouldn’t understand.
• Aluminum. Gotta pick up aluminum cans all over the side of the
road. Yeah, you don’t want to hit that with a lawnmower. You’ll get
shredded aluminum all over the place. It sucks. I just did that.
• You get devils... (Illegible)
1450
“WILLPOWER”
04/22/2015| 11:10 AM
• It wasn't really a joke or a trick. I mean, you kept forgetting who
she was anyway, so it's not like I was keeping it from you. I just kept
the paper tipped upside-down... in the back seat.
• My mother’s projections are sickening. What she’s gonna eat, what

she’s gonna drink, what’s she not going to eat and drink and smoke.
Weird dreams, but I don't really remember much about them.

There was that one where I was walking through that really big
house that had a lot of secret passages and I remember seeing
Mike and Tyler, and I really did not want to meet them and they
were trying to come in and see me.
There was another dream that I just had, you know, more recent-
ly, and it turned into sleepwalking so it's very difficult to remem-
ber, but I was just drawing. Something about willpower. Some-
thing about drawing these different symbols in the air.
1451
“CAN’T KEEP THE STORE”
04/23/2015 | 11:21 AM
I was driving in the car with Rocky through these snowy roads.
I just showed up and he was like “What??” and I hung out at
his place for a while. Eventually he said he had to go drop some-
thing off and I said do you mind if I come along for the ride or
do you need someone to stay back at this place? He was like sure
come along. So we're driving. I remember telling him that I’ve
been keeping an eye on his store online and he said “we're not
gonna be able to keep the store,” and I said “Is there nothing you
could do about that? I mean, could you just not... are you not
able to just keep doing it but not getting new inventory or up-
dating the store at the moment will just keep doing as you were
doing?” And he’s like “I don't know man.” And I told him “If you
need a place to put stuff I mean I could stick stuff in my house.”
He says “You don’t have a heating system.” I told him “of course
I have a hearing system.” “But you sleep all day without a hear-
ing system”, “no I don’t I have it on a lot.” I remember while we're
driving on the snow, I kept turning down the music somewhat
just to hear what he was saying. He was talking about how peo-
ple change and no one is pursuing what they want to pursue.
Yeah, it was weird sitting at the shop talking to both of them.

The conversations were so realistic, especially in the car; and the
snow on the road was nasty.
At the beginning of the dream my mother and I had a huge fight.

This is an extremely vivid dream. I just can’t recall much now.
1452
The things I said to Rocky were so realistic. It was so like real

stuff I’d say. His response was very realistic. He had so many
questions.
Can’t remember what it was but I remember at the very begin-

ning I was doing crafts in the corner of my bedroom. None of the
dream was unrealistic. It just started with me in my room for a
while just doing stuff in my room. Then I went upstairs and got
into a big fight in the kitchen with my mother. Then I went out
in public and met out with Rocky. We hung out in a public place
for a while until he had to go back and grab something, at which
point we went out for our drive together.
Yeah, I felt a sense of familiarity with that person. I also recall

Scarlet being in my room at one point and I was taking care of
her.
I attended this strange political meeting. My parents wanted to

go to this meeting so I wanted to go just because I wanted to
dress up as Dean and cause a scene by merely looking different
than everyone else. I had a metal shirt on. I went there and I...
but then when I came back later, I realized I had tucked in re-
ally weird into my hoodie. Like I had a jacket underneath the
shirt and a hoodie over top. It was just really weird looking. It
was such a realistic dream. I just remember when I handed him
the money. I was like all “You know, speaking of which I came to
give you this. I was kind of waiting for my birthday.” And he in-
terrupts “Oh, wait, that's the end of April. That's not today is it?”
And I'm like “No, it was like two days ago.”
And he's like “Yeah, we're not gonna be able to keep the shop.”
Yeah, that's what he said. And that just really, really bothered me.
I think it was right after the presidential thing when we went
back that I met up with Rocky.
“THE STEPS OF 1910”
04/23/2015 | 7:06 AM
The gay cowboy and the girls kissing. There was that gay cowboy
who was essentially just a teenager wearing a denim jacket. And
there was this guy driving through the street and this guy just
kept running up to his door with a smile and his hand held
out like “slap me five.” And he was not offending anybody. He
was just running through the streets and flitting around on the
sidewalk. And the guy was filming on the camera. He was like
“ooooh, ooooh.” I can't even make noises. It was just so angry.
He's so pissed off when the guy kept coming over to his car and
he was like “get away!” Then he accidentally slapped him five.
Eventually at the park you can see him stop the car and get out
and chase after him. And so you can see the gay cowboy and his
two friends. They kept preparing for the fact that he might get
out of this car and chase after him, because they were kind of
weaving in and out of the park. So they weren't always just run-
ning right alongside this guy. It was pretty funny. Probably not
even gay. Just a kid fooling around.
Okay, so there were these girls walking out of this building. And
I was trying to get some other girl to kiss me and to time it right.
I didn't know I was a girl too, though. I was a girl too, apparent-
ly. And so when these other girls would come out of this build-
ing, there was one, one of the girls I wanted their attention. So
I remember me and this other girl would just start making out
in front of the school building. And I remember, during the kiss,
she pulls away, slightly, and turns my head towards the doors of
the school, where you can clearly see the silhouettes of the oth-
er two. And she goes, “how's that for a reaction.” And you could
1454
see that they’re both stopped just staring at us. And you can tell
it was because of us.
I was like hahahahaha. And so we started kissing as the other

ones came out. I think what happened, though, due to which
ones stopped in which place when they were coming out of the
building, I think the wrong one was into me, and not the one
I was trying to attract. I remember then the one that I was try-
ing to attract came running down this area, they had like a skate-
board or something and leaped up on top of, I don’t know what
you even call it. There was like a water fountain and it had a sim-
ple little ledge around it, just like a one foot wall. So she comes
down with like a skateboard and leaps up onto the wall and starts
going down the wall. If you followed it down the slope, it kind of
got... it turned from like a wishing well thing, just a water spout,
to a table and then to steps. And then the steps went all the way
down. They were kind of goofy. So she started doing that. Then
I jumped on it at the other end. And I started running down,
but with my legs spread apart. And I started racing, just being all
cocky. And I’m like “Nothing beats the bodies we were given!”
And I just remember beating her by running like that. It was re-
ally funny.
What was that thing, talking about... how human civilization

was already more than halfway over. And some people like to
think that the 1960s was the climax or something of human con-
sciousness, or the center, but they said they found something re-
vealing that was around 1910 where there were these steps, the
steps of something. I wonder if this is what triggered the saw. But
these weren't the steps. It was some library thing or outside some
library where there was a group of people meeting and they were
walking on the steps. They were important people, they were just
like very intelligent people that were just meeting with each oth-
er and they were just a group and they were walking out of the
building down the steps. It was like “that was the true halfway
point of human history.” And I was like “oh my gosh, I was there.
I was there!” I thought I reincarnated from one of those people
that are walking down the steps. I was there at the halfway point
and didn’t know it would one day be seen as some big event. But
I didn't know if I was fooling myself. I didn’t know if I was just
trying to sound cool, like I didn't know if I was taking advantage
of other people by claiming this thing or not.
But yeah it said that human history was more than half over.
There was a bit more about that in my dream but I don’t know
what. I was just hanging out looking at these sites at the end I
think. That’s how I found these videos. But I was a part of that
one with the girl kissing. And the gay cowboy, that was just a
video on a website, where this girl video was also.
Yeah, the wrong girl was definitely interested in me and I knew

that but she wasn't going to say it. It was kind of just like some
sixth sense kind that we knew what was going on but no one was
saying it.
“COSMIC MOUTH”
04/24/2015 | 11:33 AM
I remember something about a cosmic mouth. And there was
this weird stuff with Asia in a box. I was going to get a drink
for her, but I needed frozen water, and she was downstairs in the
basement in a box waiting. But I went upstairs and got distract-
ed by food and started eating the food or whatever it was then
there was like these kids who got in a car accident on the news
because they did some... Something specific. So now everyone is
looking at the thing that they were doing and was like “Uh oh,
is this gonna be something that teens are affected by?” It might
have been some special pop singer.
Ceiling frescoes and weird tiles and just like mystical kind of al-
chemical stuff and that's just the end I'm talking about, too.
1457
“SCOOBY COOKIE”
04/24/2015 | 7:56 PM
Ahhh, there's the Scooby cookie. That was cool. The Scooby
cookie. I had to wait in line to get that thing. For a while it was
annoying because I was staying in line. Who was that one guy
that got me a piece of cake? Standing my friends. These were like
my Baltimore friends or something. One of the guys got me cake,
which was probably Robbie. And then I was hanging out with
another guy who was probably Jesse. And we were just walk-
ing around. I was walking around with Jesse. And it was like my
birthday or something. And I think we were at this little fest,
full school festival or something and left and came back a little
while later. And so I remember me and... there was a good cook-
ie vendor. We're like, Whoa, look at those cookies. So we’re like
let's go get one. I think we already got one earlier. But we’re like
let's try another one. So we go over. My friend goes over and he’s
like “I’d like a scooby.” I’m getting ready to say the same thing,
but then she says “next” like next person to order. And so then
these kids, they're like climbing up on the counter. There's those
walls, climbing on the counter and being like “I want this one!”
It was so annoying because they were there. I was there first but
I couldn't refute. So I had to wait for two kids who fit in line be-
fore I was like “I’d like the Scooby.”
And so by the time I got it, I never looked at it until I got home
later. I mean I took a bite out here and now I was eating mostly
at the end of the dream, which was a while after I left the place. I
remember walking down to the building and Robbie or whoever
walked by, and he's like, “Happy birthday!” And he had a little
piece of cake wrapped up. He said “You’ll like this cake.” It was
1458
really funny. I mean, I took a bite out of it, right. I just like, put
it in my face, took a bite out of it. And he says “You have to stay
till the end of the night. My girlfriend's putting on a show. And
something something something.” “The time? Oh, y'all still be
here. It's like, right after the credits, it's like right after the some-
thing else ends,” and I'm like “You mean that time everyone usu-
ally leaves.” “Oh, I don't know.” And I'm like, “Yeah, I mean, I'm
pretty sure I remember them setting up that last time I was here.
And I just took off and left.” “I don't know.” And like, okay, I
guess that's that.
What else was going on? I was just kind of hanging out with
these guys. We’re hanging out together and having a good time.
So yeah, that was weird because it just didn't feel like... It felt like
I was Dean and it felt like they were my Baltimore friends. It's
weird there's a lot more went on. But we're just kind of walking
around by talent shows and stuff. And like, I remember at the
end, I was in the car with my dad. And I remember calling him
on the phone. I remember getting my Scooby cookie. And it got
nasty on the way home because... mot nasty, but it just got ru-
ined. So when I got home, I put it in the oven just to heat it up.
I put it in there for a while too. And it came out and I thought
okay, this is not bad. But it didn't look like scooby, it was broken
in like three or four pieces. And I think I had taken a bite out of
it or someone. Probably me.
So I called him on the phone. “So you're gonna take me back to

get a scooby cookie?” And he says “You already got one! The last
time you asked me it was an hour ago. So it must not be that ur-
gent. I'm on the job right now. It can't do that.” I'm like, “Will
you take me back tomorrow to get a scooby...?” And he inter-
rupts “You already got one!” It was pretty funny.
I remember when that cookie lady came around it was kind of

cool. She seemed pretty mysterious. I remember thinking some-
thing like... I felt really courageous. I don't know why, but I just
felt like these people were all... I felt like I was friends with every-
one even though I remember thinking online I'm not but I feel
like I feel when I see these people feel comfortable around them
even though there's not really a reason. It was kind of cool just
walking around.
I remember shortly after Robbie handed me the cake and gave

me the spiel about his girlfriend and I'm walking off and I was
looking into this book or something. It gave a word and it said
“people usually think of this word as meaning this but actually,
if you dissect it, it means the avoidance of influence or the avoid-
ance of...” It was like a fear or it was like some philosophy. Like it
was a word that looks a lot like philosophy. I forget what it was,
but something —sophy. Something about avoiding influence or
impressions.
“MISCHIEF METAL”
04/25/2015 | 7:35 PM
A lot of Dean. I mean, I was Dean in it. I just remember Mischief
Night songs and I remember making songs for... I was loading
this song. It was some female fronted song but it was growling
and stuff. People were asking me “What’s your affiliation with
this? Why are you doing this? And I was supporting some group
or some cause. I forget what it was, but it wasn't like they were af-
filiated, but I was showing some kind of support for something.
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“HERMAPHRODITE”
04/26/2015 | 11:01 AM
I fell for this girl who was also a guy. So we were together for a
while. Then something about gay porn, and me hanging out with
their father, then me going invisible and hiding inside this weird
little tsunami tank or something underground, where these
waves would come flying through. And so I had the power to go
invisible at will. And I was thinking of reprising that role at the
end. I remember doing something... like I said “Should I go in-
visible again?” And my father was taking photographs, because I
wanted to send some photographs to my date. I don’t think they
were a guy or a girl.
I remember telling them something about gay porn. I'm like

“Yeah, this isn't arousing to me at all.” I was like telling them that
I was so put off by it.
I was driving around, me and my parents driving around looking

at telephone towers. I forget what we were talking about in the
car.
I was sitting in silence down in the basement. It was really private

and hidden and I was making it my own. I had this little chest or
this little box in which I locked away these dolls inside and then
there were other things I was keeping there for safekeeping. But
because everyone was looking for me for so long people eventu-
ally found out that I was in this hidden place and they started
making it into rooms of their own, and I'm like “no way” and
they're saying “Well, they were going to use that room for some-
thing anyway. It’s their house,” and so I respond “But no one used
it until I started doing stuff with it!”
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Then they started making jokes about how that was the room
or something else was the room where I was gonna live if I mar-
ried their daughter. I forget it was some kind of basement joke.
It wasn't serious. I remember being at a buffet kind of place and
just eating pizza. This was before me and the girl got along well.
I just remember walking back and forth in this place where there
was pizza I was talking to her father. I forget what he had to say
but he was interested in something. There was a jester kind of guy
who I went and talked to for a while in this little play area. He
was running some kind of mechanical thing.
Oh god, that girl. I remember kissing her. It was about as realistic

as I can possibly imagine. All that stuff with me hiding things, re-
arranging... Oh yeah, I got kicked out of Walmart for rearranging
the items in the hair care aisle (were not far from the little tsuna-
mi tank thing that I was hiding in. They were like right in front
of them. So when people started finding my tank and walking in-
side and walking around, I came out and started rearranging the
haircare products to leave a message for these guys and tell them
“No! Go away! This is mine!” That was weird because it was in
the store but it was also in front of a shore and when a huge wave
would come it would go flying through this little slit in the back
of the tank. Not a slit, like a rear window. It would fly through
that, and into this tank, and then leave through the front, and I
almost felt like I was gonna drown every time it was freaky. But
I liked it. But people would come in once in a while and didn’t
know that someone invisible was in there. It was weird when I
went visible because I'd like tap myself in a weird way. And I'd
feel my head go a little bit see-through. I feel like it would look
like newspapery or something weird. I would still... I don't know.
And sometimes it was still so similar looking to the other one
to me that I didn't know if I was invisible at first. I was getting
in trouble for doing it, because people didn't understand it. I re-
member I did it in Walmart. People were getting freaked out. But

man, that girl and I just went and hung out. She was showing me
around after dinner. We hung out before dinner. I was eating piz-
za in one room. And I remember it was kind of mopey, or just
listless. I was just sitting there waiting for her. I don't know how
well I knew her at that point.
When we got back together, I remember she passed by while I

was hidden, after a while though. I think most of that time I was
talking to her father or showing her father something, he was
showing me something. He was just having a little talk with me.
But yeah, when me and her finally went to her bedroom, which
looks an awful lot like my Londonberry bedroom, we just laid in
bed for a while and talked and talked and talked. Not sexual. We
kissed. And that doesn't mean I wasn't turned on.
What’s with that picture I found at the end of the dream of their
whole family naked with animal heads on. And there was some
kind of weird dog that one of them owned. A big dog, but it
made a weird noise. This is really early on. I remember trying to
figure out how to explain to them that I have a throat disorder. I
remember not being able to explain that to her. I just felt so vul-
nerable. I remember, while kissing her, thinking to myself ...
I almost hit those kids on the street when I was driving to the
mountain. There were all those kids lying out on the side of the
road with their heads near the road. And then that one person
fell over. And there's all those girls walking around at night. And
I said “oh that’s this guy's sister, er...girlfriend.” And my parents
laughed, but I just fumbled my words.
Anyway, while kissing her I remember thinking ‘Wow, this is

eight years of suffering and torment and torture and this is, you
know, I always knew that I had to be careful about the next kiss
I got because after all those years waiting for a kiss, the next one
would be the one that was like ‘well was it all worth it?’’ I just re-
member thinking that while I was kissing her, I was trying not to
think it even though I realized it and I knew that I accepted this.
I don’t know what the deal was. It was a girl at first, but then I
think she became a little weirder than that, which I don't know
what I mean. A hermaphrodite? Or she was able to switch be-
tween a girl and guy at will. But I was with them both times, and
I was in love with them.
I think there was a politician in my dream ranting about some-

thing.
But yeah I remember driving to the mountain after my family fi-

nally left these people. We finally left after I caused a scene by be-
ing invisible. but I said my goodbyes to everyone. We were dri-
ving up the mountain. First driving through the streets. And I
saw someone’s girlfriend I knew. Then we’re driving through the
mountains and I’m like Oooh! Because there was this little kid
who was falling head first into the road, right onto the pathway,
and I’m like Oh my gosh, and my father couldn’t slow down he
just kept going, and it freaked me out, and I look back I'm like,
okay, she's fine. She didn’t get hit, but it looked like we ran over
her head. Then after about 30 seconds another kid does it. this
time instead of looking like they're falling accidentally, they look
like they’re just lying down on purpose. And so they lie down
with their head out only a few feet from the car and it freaked
me out over and over again. One kid would do it on the left side
of the road and about a minute later one would do it on the right
side road and then a minute later the left side again. It was creepy
and I was so worried. Yeah, I do think there were some political
undertones in this dream, too? I think maybe it had to do with
one of her relatives. Might have had to do with the weird sexu-
ality of the dream. Nanny and Poppop were also making a lot of
weird jokes. nothing specific.
I had to keep my relationship with the girl a secret. Because I was

trying to go back to go back.
I remember my dad taking a bunch of photographs of me at the

end. Then he was getting me to pose and my mom was being an-
noying in the other room in a realistic way, she was telling him
to take the photo, she was like, “Don't take it like this. Don’t take
it like this” And we're like, “we know, we know.” I know how I
want them. I know how to take them.”And so she’s like “GEEZ!”,
she's just pulling, you know, the fit, she always pulls.
I was wearing a weird Hawaiian kind of buttoned down shirt,

something weird like that. And I was doing these weird poses,
but I kept going invisible while he was taking the pictures, just
thinking I was being funny.
When I said gay porn earlier, it wasn't really anything like, it was
just like two guys in, in neon spandex outfits kissing. It wasn't
anything penetrative. It wasn't anything too intense. It was just
very simple. But still, I was like, “I don't know if this is supposed
to work on me. But this does nothing for me.” The only thing
that was arousing was when she held me in her arms and kissed
me and that was fine with me.
“BOP THE ALIEN”
04/26/2015 | 7:31 PM
I was driving around on that speeder type thing. I took a jump
and I missed the thing I was trying to do and it was kind of
freaky, but then I jumped off it and bopped that white alien
thing. That was freaky. It's like wearing a suit. It was really white.
Looked like your typical Roswell little alien guy. Big head.
Jumped out. did some weird thing where I bopped him with
my right hand, bopped him with my left hand. Tifereth... or
Tipheret, like the Kabbalah. That’s what I knew him as. In the
end, I pulled back and bashed him in the head and shot him.
It was really cool looking because I stunned the crap out of him
and he convulsed everywhere. I remember my dad just applaud-
ing me.
The fact that I was on a magazine cover, or I was going to be, as

Dean. What was that giant floating thing? Chaos. That's what it
was. It was something called Chaos. It was a giant floating mass.
And I was off to fight it. My dad really wanted to do it because
he just thought this whole thing was like a video game.
• When I stare at you like that for long, you know what I mean?
You know what I mean? You’re supposed to say yes. Instead of just
staring back at me blankly. You know what I mean?
• This sucks. Kind of just had to buy that bat. After three times of
thinking about buying it I just had to go okay... you know... I just
kept knocking it down a little bit, the picture. Finally bought it. It’s
not fun to hear it may have been appreciated... depreciated...
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While I was beating the shit out of that white alien, I could sense
that there was something else nearby watching me do it, like a
bigger guy, but like a human. I don't know. Someone was watch-
ing me. Freaky.
“WASHING MACHINE”
04/27/2015 | 11:51 AM
All those people climbing into the washing machines at the end.
I don't know if they're actually in the washing machine or just
behind them looking like they're in it. It was like a business op-
portunity thing and they were all trying to help out some kind
of suicide case, that they had on the phone while they were talk-
ing about something else. Maybe this was like something that
was before they mentioned the suicide case. they were trying to
show their involvement in something, and so like 20 Something
people each got behind the washing machine trying to resemble
this chart, because the woman was just speaking with the high-
er-up on the phone, and he’s like “Do you guys got any pictures
of yourselves with the washing machine?” and she was like “how
do I make it look like a something chart ?” and then the guy was
rolling his eyes and next thing I knew they were doing this.
Something in the very beginning about Isaac, and despite the

fact that his online social media profile said one place, he had
apparently been in Hawaii for a long time, which was where he
went to school. He was just talking about how every morning he
goes and walks down to the lab or something which is in Hawaii.
• The demon escorts that Dean came with. They were like goats with
eyes bugged out. All sitting in a classroom.
There was that part in my dream where I went down. It was really
late at night and I was in Pine Hill and I went riding down the
road on a bicycle wanting to think of some names and titles, and
I was just trying to think of things. I was driving down just our
home Street, and I thought of “Archer Argentum” or “Archer Ar-
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gent”, which would mean in Latin something like silver archers.

And so I thought that's cool. I could use it. Then as I was coming
closer to the end of that street. I approached... It was so much
like my Pine Hill street. and I approached a dog, a little dog, and
it came running at me and I'm like, oh, no, oh, no, it was a little
dog. I wasn't scared. I was just like man, a dog, and I remember
looking at him like ‘does he have his chain on’ and then just start-
ed running further and farther. I'm like, yeah, it has no chain. So
I just turned back. Try not to freak out. I mean, it was very little
so I wasn't scared or anything, but I just didn't feel like it right
now. So he just chased me down the road. And I remember hear-
ing yelping a little bit and barking at me. Was a little dog. I just
remember making it back to my house. And I couldn't see any-
more, but I could still hear it. And I'm like, I remember going up
to my father and saying to him “Do you hear that? Do you hear
that? You hear that barking?” And he's like, “What?“ “Do you
hear that?
And then I guess I went inside and read some. I went into the
homeschooling room like the back room. Back when it looked
like a homeschool room. When there were bookshelves and stuff
in it, and my little desk. Wow. I mean, it was weird because I
hardly remember it being like that, but that's how it was. And I
read some, picked up some books, sat at my school desk. It might
have had something to do with Easter.
“IT’S CRYSTAL!”
04/27/2015 | 8:08 PM
They were like, “Wait, what did you do with the hologram
slide?” It was like a video slide. And someone else held up a little
white dot.
And I said “I jerked off on it, sold it to a pawn shop. But look!
I got a rock. It’s the last one. Iiiit’s crystal!” And then I sniffed
it up my nose. I was selling things for drugs. And then she came
over there and killed me. What happened? She just freaked out
and started doing some kind of drugs in the house. We ended up
killing each other. And then the two people that were there with
us who were recovering addicts maybe just started doing drugs
again and escaped after she attacked and killed me. I apparently
came back later n–a ghost? And then I remember seeing all the
police vehicles and stuff the house the next day. Looking at them
combing the place. I was getting really annoyed watching people
run around hurriedly, all these fucking rescue people, trying to
see if there's any people in there, they're not running around be-
cause they care. And that was pissing me off because they looked
all concerned when they're reporting and they're just not. And so
I was getting pissed off seeing this. I remember seeing someone
standing at the entrance to the house and they're just like light-
ing a cigarette and just looking at the house. They're like, “I can't
believe that happened.” I forget what it was. But I just remember
sitting in the living room looking at these slides. And I was with
this... who was I with... this was before the other part.
What were those noises I was walking around making. A lot of

this had to do with imp and mischief metal stuff. I remember
putting on a vest and going out and I was with Figgum. A lot
1471
of it had to do with that. I don't remember what it was. And I

was running around. I was making little weird growls. And every
time I did it, I was trying to use it to talk through but I'm like,
I should really not do that. Because my voice is NOT going to
handle all that stuff. I wasn't thinking clearly. And I just kept do-
ing it every once in a while. I was like, I should not fucking be
doing that.
I just remember just hearing that name over and over again. Lim-
bo and Figgum, Limbo and Figgum. And so we were running
around someplace. I don't know. But at the end, I was sitting
there on the couch with these two women. And they were... what
was okay, what was going on Londonberry.
I had to go down into the basement. People were rating each oth-
er about how they're like, how romantic they were. And so peo-
ple were like, giving a romance rating or something. They're like,
did I go on your ratings? You’re only 10 or something. You're on-
ly an eight. I'm like, “what does that mean?”They're like “hey, put
this on go downstairs and just start kissing people” or something
like that. And I’m like fuck, what? and there were some women
cheering saying “Do it! Do it!” And so I just walked off down-
stairs.
I remember thinking about spitting in people's drinks, I was

gonna spit in these. It was like a party going on. I was gonna spit
into a drink. I didn't know if I should spit into both of them or
one of them, and then I was gonna walk up to these girls and be
like, “Hey, check it! This is my special drink with a special secret
ingredient!” Just a wad of spit in it. And it wasn't even like a prac-
tical joke. It was for my own pleasure. And I didn't know if I was
gonna make it like one of these is special or what... I didn't know
how to plan it.
Yeah, it was weird. The people upstairs, the Seinfeld people were
there? They had gotten pretty old though. So it wasn't like they
hadn’t aged since Seinfeld. But that was pretty funny and they
were some of the people chanting like “Do it?l! Do it!” Upstairs,
that was where my parents were hanging out and a bunch of
other people. But downstairs was all like different ethnicities.
A bunch of Indians and a bunch of like people in like burkas
and stuff and just a bunch of different you know, some Japanese
maybe too. So I just come into this place filled with all these na-
tionalities holding these spitty drinks.
I was just going around causing trouble. I don't know what the
whole thing was, though. I had sold someone's valuable thing
when I found it. I was downstairs at the very end just talking
with two girls on the couch. No, I wasn't even on the couch. This
girl was like, calming down from something, and then she's like,
“okay, I'm good.” Then this guy walks in the doorway, which may
or may not have been me. And he goes, “Hey, did you see where I
put my slide?” It was like a little photo slide. And I'm like, “Yep!
Jerked off on it, pawned it...” that whole line. And she just came
at me lunging...‘I don’t know if it was because of drugs or because
I stole the slide, but I don't think I knew how much it meant to
her. I don't even know if that guy was me. it didn't look like me.
I felt like I died that day, when I came back the next day with
those cops I felt like I was part of that. I was getting mad at all the
people, thinking ‘wipe off that worried fucking expression on your
face you fakers.’
“PRESTIGIOUS”
04/28/2015 | 12:03 PM
Having a difficult time remembering my dream just because I
woke up after the dream and then kind of laid there in bed sleep-
walking a little bit for a while so it's not as fresh on my mind. But
I remember I was in this relationship with this girl. The relation-
ship is very strong beginning. Don’t really remember what that
entails. She was going to all these prestigious places. We were just
always in these venues, halls and stuff, so she was going to all
these places. And I went with her a lot. I remember she got ac-
cepted into this... I don't even know what it was, some scientif-
ic program. And I was waiting for her to figure something out. I
forget exactly what it was. But I remember, she said she had the
answer at one point, and so she kind of called me over. So I went
over to this little trailer building where they were gonna hold
this science dinner, I don't know what it was. And so it's like her
and this other girl. I remember going there. She had something
to tell me, but she wouldn't tell me. Like she said she would tell
me, but she wasn't doing it at this point. So I’m kind of just sit-
ting around waiting. And I remember this woman came by who
was in charge of the whole thing and she was questioning my
purpose for being there. And she didn't think it was right that I
was around. So I remember hiding underneath the trailer for a
while. Or one of their beds or something. I think it was just an
old trailer. But more and more scientific guys kept coming over,
and some of them I think saw that I was there. And I didn't want
it to reflect negatively on her negatively, the girl that I was with,
so I eventually ended up taking off, and I never got to hear what
she had to say. It was just a bad time for that, but it was stressful
1474
because I thought she wanted to talk but she wasn't ready at that
moment to say anything.
“SONG OF POWER”
04/30/2015 | 10:31 AM
At the end of the dream I was sitting in my computer chair and
I turned on this song that was so powerful that it was blowing
me out of my chair. And so I turned to face the other way and I
was being blown into my speaker because it was making the air
shake. Crazy loud. I was like I remember listening to this before.
It made me
I remember walking in on some girl who was taking a shower,

and the girl was upset about it for the rest of the dream, and I’m
like fucking get over it. I spent the dream with these people, eat-
ing dinner and drinking wine, and she was still upset about that
even though I honestly saw nothing.
• Yeah... nice try. Gotta make up with their dad, because they put
the boogie boogie boogie on the wall. It was cool, though, that big
skull picture
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“KID WALL”
04/30/2015 | 6:41 PM
• Cloud covering, drinking. I was just drinking wine on the couch.
My parents offered me rum and so I had the rum but immediately
regretted it.
• The White House is not a town. Is that what I was thinking? Ugh.
It was called like... Kid Wall or something? I just heard someone

say “Kid wall: a nasty craft passed down from something some-
thing.” I don't know. But I was at this camp-like setting. And I
was walking around with all these pieces of paper. I was just like
going to church camp and I was just doing all these things. And
I remember that me and some of the guys that I was with kept
getting in trouble because we're just laughing during the service
or like making up little songs about things going on. And they're
like, “I don't find that funny.” And I’m like “It’s not supposed to
be funny. We're being serious.” They were getting so mad at us.
I remember a really funny parody of Father Abraham.
This was also that part where that monkey got that special burg-
er, the monkey boy. And he was like, mostly monkey. And then
everyone else got like a normal burger. And I didn't get any burg-
er. I just didn’t. Because I don’t eat meat. I don’t know why it hap-
pened, but then everyone was like “Awww he got the best condi-
ment,” or “The sauce is what I want.” So everyone was like look-
ing at the burgers they had received and then looking back at his
because he got a special burger while everyone got some cheap
and gross food. And he’s just eating it, taking bites out of it, all
animal-like. Very weird. We’re all just in a circle of chairs. And so
1477
we're all kind of looking at each other. I'm just like singing little
songs about things. Had a big stack of papers of just like lyrics
and drawings and stuff. I kept walking around with them every-
where. I remember bringing them in the bathroom and setting
them on the floor but some of them got wet and it was nasty.
And there was something on the back of the toilet. I was just
sitting there with them. Then I went to pick them up but I was
like eewwww it was just nasty. I remember just sitting there for a
while and then when I heard kids, little boys, playing outside, I
was just like okay I’m gonna go back out. I’m hungry. I need an
Ensure or Fritos or something.
And then I remember, like, right after that, it kind of made me

feel like this was the past like, like, how I was just reminding my-
self just that it was just last January that I went to church camp.
Which doesn't make sense. But it was only one year ago that I
was at church camp, you know, walking around with my guitar,
chasing women or being chased by women. But then I was like...
“albeit, I couldn’t play my guitar, but they didn’t know that. And
I couldn’t sing, but they didn’t know that. Probably the reason
I didn’t kiss them too. But I was someplace else, and there were
girls!”
There was a part where me and my father were driving around. I

forget what that was all about.
It was just like a weird church camp. Mike kept getting mad at us
thinking we were making fun of things. Not ridiculing anything
but just having fun with them. Pretty much.
“CRAZY”
05/01/2015 | 9:02 AM
This dream was super long ago. I remember a long time ago
when Daniel was at my house playing video games. But the part
I remember most was the last part where I was with Rocky and
Kim. I went and stayed over at their house. There was also some-
thing about dressing up and going out in public. At the begin-
ning when I saw Rocky I was wearing a wig. I looked crazy.
I went somewhere and ran into them. It was super weird. Then
we went back to their home and hung out for a while. She had to
work on something at first so me and Rocky went out driving for
a little while, and then when she was off we went back to their
house.
I remember I needed to go shower. I’m complaining about the

doors. “Agggh, there’s always these doors that don’t shut. Have
you ever shut this door, man?” And he tersely says “Yep.” And
I’m like “Does that mean you were able to shut it?” And he goes
“Nope!” And I’m like dammit! He says just post a sign or send
them a message when I need to shower.
My hair was cool. Kind of combed to the side, hat on. Niceboy-
ish.
Daniel was playing Crash Bandicoot somewhere near the begin-

ning or earlier part of the dream.
• Can’t just go looking like this all over the place. Like Kiss or some-
thing. I remember I had a NWOBHM bandana on my head and
all the adults were complimenting me. That was just a thought, like
I was gonna change this up even more.
1479
It was so damn realistic, through and through, that I wouldn't be

surprised if this was just like pre cognitive or something. It was
so real, just the way I was talking to him for a while. And even af-
ter I got reacquainted with them again I had to go home and fix
some stuff
• When a person acts in such a way we say they’re doing good,

performing well... doing good, performing well. Walalalalalala.
WALALALALALA.
We all chatted online for a while. We were also at this place, a

party. My dad had to take me. Why were my parents there, and
what was that party?
• Kept fucking things up with... I needed to... there needed to be

tacks on the side of the road when I drove to keep me going straight.
There also had to be those things to keep me from swerving. There
were also those toys in the toilet. I remember... at the place... when
we were at that party kinda place... I remember that he left for a
while, and I didn’t know where he was and I was wondering about
that. But then he just went back to... there was something about
Colorado or something. And I asked him “Wait, where is Colorado?
Is that on the west coast?”
“WITCH TOWN”
05/01/2015 | 5:53 PM
My father and I just escaped a town while these guys were run-
ning at us, trying to kill us. He said, “Hey, let's go down here
into this little valley town,” and I’m like “They’re witches, dad.”
I told him this is creepy. He says “Nah, they’ll be dumb.” And
I said “No, they're gonna be highly intelligent. They're gonna
be highly skilled, they're gonna be unafraid and they will be
very advanced at using magical technology.” He went against my
wishes. We pulled up in a car. We ran into a couple guys and
shook their hands. And they just looked like young guys in their
twenties and they gathered around us and the facial expressions
they made right away made me realize something was wrong. It
sucked. I was being all nice. I don’t know how that escalated, but
the next thing I know we’re running into the woods as fast as we
can, trying to get away.
• I just heard a really weird jingle on the piano. I can’t even imitate
it. Really high pitched.
We were just driving around at night. I remember at some point

in the dream thinking about how I was gonna type this all out, so
it’s kind of funny that I only just woke up. We drove in the dark
for a while when we came to a hill area, into a forbidden com-
pound I did not want to go into. I saw a shadow walk across the
place, ways behind us, after we were already in. It was some place
I used to work for before so I thought it was okay.
• I hate when people like, for instance, when they're on diet, and
they’re eating something, they go, “Oh man, why did I have to see
that? Why did I have to see that?” and they realize they can't eat
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this anymore. Because it's different from what they thought. But
then they're like, “Why did I have to see this? Why did I have to
see this?” And they would rather be back to where they were before,
or back here, than making this change in their diet and taking this
out.
“THAT FUCKIN’ BLUE GUY”
05/02/2015 | 4:58 PM
(M)* Today I had a really difficult time falling asleep. I was sort
of sleepwalking for a few hours, and when I finally fell asleep,
it was not so much like a dream but it was just a fucking pho-
tograph. I was inside Rocky’s store and it was just a still scene.
And I just don't remember anything except thinking about mak-
ing a joke but never making it. It was nauseating because there
was nothing going on; nauseating because I didn't realize that I
was getting caught in a weird loop that just went on forever. And
then I woke up like three hours early.
I was standing on the kitchen counter, and there's this ceremoni-

al athame (knife). I remembered I poured this Parmesan sauce or
tomato sauce into some other mixture. And I remember hearing
a loud voice ask, “Did God ever die?” And I said no.
At the end of the dream I was at church and Mike was gonna take
me back. He had that whole line about how “I love these things,
you know one summer stalled for hundreds of miles.” And then
the intercom was like “What would you like to do sir?” And he
answers “Stall for hundreds of miles.“ and then he goes “Whatev-
er, AS LONG AS I CAN GET TO TOYS R’ US.” And he's like,
where do you want to go? And so he was just turning around. I
just remember being in the store where all those girls were sur-
rounding me. Where was that? There was stuff with the hat. Like
there was a lot of weird stuff going on at this store.
At the end, there was a weird trucker thing. Oh, I went out and
the fucking blue guy. He surfed... I was floating around. Okay,
I was floating around. And I remember Cyndi Lauper. She was
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like looking at what I was doing. I was floating around this thing.
I don't know what it was. But people were like, wow. And when
people would look at me and demand an explanation, I would
just go “Oh! Something something something,” and it would be
so overly simplified. And I just remember It was like a really rub-
bish thing I was using too. And I was just floating around every-
where in the store, and just doing all these weird things, drawing
so much attention to myself by like all people in there, and I just
remember when I left the store and went back into the parking
lot, I got chased by this blue vector... looking weird like this or-
ange imp guy... except he was blue.
I came back in the store and I was levitating like 10 feet in the air.
Cyndi Lauper was standing there with her bags and said “whoa.”
What was I doing... I was going around the store looking for my
mom or dad. At one point I went into that little area with all
those girls where they surrounded me. What was it? Was it an
occasion where they got me wrong and I explained to them what
was going on? But they thought I was cool. It was like some area
within the clothing racks... ten girls though. I remember my fa-
ther looking for his little pies. I was at the bakery section for so
long because he wanted me to look for his pies. They were really
little. Basically this whole dream was just looking for candy and
snacks in the store.
Someone I knew tried to seize me and I just took off trying to

act like I wasn't affiliated with any one. But when I came out that
blue guy came at me. So fast and he reached at me and took the
device out of my hands. He came from a different point in time
just to get this back.
• A fucking vicious dog... right next to the road. And it ended up

having like five babies. Hopefully they're all on the grocery side, be-
cause this crowded place... fuck... fishantia... fiiissshhaaannttia.
• Smells like bin press? Yeah, that’s gonna smell like bin press on the
way back in. This one’s barely four. And this one’s really nice. (Illeg-
ible)
• At the end we're fighting, maybe an argument between Dean and

Tendon’s perspective, a fight between Virginia and Maryland.
“CANNIBAL IS BLOOD”
05/03/2015 | 10:49 AM
Right at the last second of the dream I yell “Cannibal is blood!” I

think I thought there was another guy in the room who was part
of a metal band. I was trying to get him to help me, because I just
didn't feel like being alone with these girls. They just seemed like
really annoying teenagers and I didn't trust what they were saying
about asexuality. I was judging them because they were unattrac-
tive and thinking that they were just using it as an excuse to get
by me, or to get by until an actual opportunity arose.
What was all that stuff I was walking around in that place before
I went and ducked in the room with the asexual people. What-
ever was going on there, that was a weird place. Those girls were
sitting on the bed. OH WAIT WHAT HAPPENED with that
other girl, and her boyfriend. I was sitting in a car, and I was also
in a classroom.
I was just sitting there with my head on the side of the table. I just
had my head tilted and I was eyeing someone and they were eye-
ing me back, and I looked away but then I looked again and my
eyes were like twitching like crazy. She was like Indian. People
were voting each other to go away, and they were asking “Who
thinks they're gonna go next?” So people coming up and doing
some things in an effort to secure themselves. Before that I was
riding in a car in the backseat with this girl. And I just remem-
ber whispering things to girl. I forget what I said. But she’s like
“That’s boyfriend in the front seat.” And I forget what I said, but
I really didn't care... and I mean, I wasn't asking to do anything
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weird. I just wanted to sit closer so we could talk. I just remem-

ber her boyfriend kept looking back and we were barely able to
avoid being in weird, compromising positions. Or just things like
us laughing over pictures and getting along. So I was thinking of
all these ways to kind of involve him just so it didn't seem like I
was hiding anything. That's what I was thinking at some point.
I'd be like “Okay, you guys switch. Now want to sit next to him.”
All these different tactics to do so it didn’t seem like anything
was going on. But she was like videoing me or something. And
horses. She was videoing horses.
“GIRLCAR”
05/04/2015 | 4:20 AM
Right at the last second of the dream I shout “Cannibal is
blood!” I think I thought there was another guy in the room
who was part of a metal band. I was trying to get him to help
me because I just didn't feel like being alone with these girls who
just seemed like really annoying teenagers. And I just didn't trust
what they were saying about asexuality. I was judging them.
There was so much that dream. What was all that stuff I was
walking around in that place for before I went in depth in the
road asexual people
Whatever was going on in there... That was a weird place. Those

girls were sitting on the bed. Oh wait, what happened with that
other girl and her boyfriend. I was in a car, and I was also in the
classroom. I was sitting there with my head on the side of the
table. I just had my head tilted and I was like eyeing someone and
they're eyeing me, then I looked away but then I looked again,
and my eyes were twitching like crazy. She was like an Indian.
People were voting each other to go away, and they were like
“Who thinks they're gonna go next?” So people were coming up
and doing things to secure themselves. It was like a reality show.
Before that I remember riding around in a car in the backseat
with this girl. Had a camera or something. And I just remember
whispering things to the girl. I forgot what I said. But she’s like
“That’s my boyfriend in the front seat.” And I forget what I said
but I was just like... I didn't care. I wasn't asking to do anything
weird, I just wanted to sit closer so we could talk. I just remem-
ber her boyfriend kept looking back and we were barely able to
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avoid being in these weird positions. Just strange. Laughing over

these pictures and whatnot.
I was thinking of all these ways to kind of involve him just so

it didn't seem completely like I was hiding anything. That's the
way to do it; and I was thinking that at some point I'd be like
“okay you guys switch now I sit next to him.l You know I was sit-
ting there thinking of all these different tactics to do so it didn't
seem like anything was going on. But she was like videoing me or
something and didn't... There was something with horses. Taking
her horse pictures. I don’t know, but she was hot.
There were those two girls that were kind of hitting on me a little
bit and they said something and I made a subtle reference to be-
ing, you know, not a sexual person. I was like, “I'm not into this
or this.” And the girl was like, “Asexual??” I'm like, “Yeah, I'm an
asexual.” She's like, “I'm an asexual!” And I just remember mak-
ing the judgment... I was just looking at her like, ‘okay, she's un-
attractive. She’s overweight. Of course she's gonna say she's asex-
ual.” I was just making the judgment like ‘she's not really... she's
just saying that as an excuse.”
Later when I was riding with this girl and this guy in a car and
the guy was driving. I was in the back seat in the middle and then
the girl was on my right side. I guess I found her attractive. I was
flirting with her a little bit but I was trying to figure out how to
do it without her boyfriend, who was right in front of me. Like
a foot away from me. And so I'm just sitting there like playing
around with her, and she totally started warming up to me dur-
ing the ride. And then she started kind of flirting back with me.
And so I was just trying to see what I could get away with with-
out getting my ass kicked. And I was thinking of all these differ-
ent plans like things to say to him like nothing's going on. I gotta
be like “okay time for you guys to switch. I want to talk to him
now.” Or just stuff like “Why don't you come sit back here in-
stead? Why doesn't she drive?” you know just saying little things
to make it sound like I didn't care about it sitting next to her.
“FORCEFIELD”
05/04/2015 | 10:13 AM
At the end there were those golden boots that I was able to get,
and there were people being blown away by these giant things
flying through the air like beams. The dude was saying “Oh shit,
now it’s gonna be impossible to get them back!” And so it was
just the three of us. And they shouted “Run!” I got stuck to this
little forcefield thing and started solidifying into a rock and they
had to pull me out of it. When we got back he saw this Bowser
thing and kept calling it. I said “He’s dead. He can’t come out.”
But they kept trying.
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“PERVERT”
05/04/2015 | 6:52 PM
I was with that girl Rosie and I was giving her all this stuff all the
sudden. There was something to do with chaos, too. The chaos
symbol. I just remember one of the last times I was with her, I
had given her all these things and I did it all so fast and suddenly
and she pushed me away and said “Geez! Chill out!” I forget the
exact words she used but I was so broken by that.
Me and three other guys were somehow given another chance to

relive another year of high school which we had achieved via a
magic ritual so now we're going to school again. So I was walking
through the school parking lot and I was joking around and I'm
saying “This is awesome, man. All four of us are here this time.”
Then I pointed to this kid in front of us with pink hair, “Last
year you shot up from like a two to a four and then fell from like
a four to almost a one, leaving us all to dust! This year we're all
moving forward together!” Talking about popularity rankings.
Then I was with Alex K. I remember saying “Something some-

thing something, having a hard time with that thing you suck,
the thing you put your mouth on. The faucet.” And I just kept on
describing a faucet in these weird ways and he was saying “You’re
doing that on purpose. Stop it.” and he was getting mad thinking
I was trying to use perverted wording intentionally but I wasn’t.
Then I went inside the lobby and I had a giant photo of my shirt.
It was a greyscale sign that went on too long. In both directions.
• That was so unpleasant with the itch.
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My father and I were at a drive-thru and the woman was being so

friendly. “Hey, thank you for coming by. Would you like this? Or
this?” And when she printed out the receipt, she looked down
and saw me in the car and she goes “Here’s another receipt.” And
she gave me a receipt, too, which was weird, because it was really
low. It also looked like a screen capture of a text table on some
kind of document, and on the bottom I could see some of the
words that I used in my book—like a word count. And it even
had Z's and V’s by themselves, and so I could see how often I used
those letters in my book.
• Wish she’d fucking stop talking.
Okay, I clicked on it again to restart it.
A witch is born...
“WIG”
05/08/2015 | 8:27 AM
I remember a Grinch outfit and I remember that I kept getting
dressed up in outfits and going around the place. I remember
hiding the outfit somewhere in a warehouse. And I was running
through the place. Some guy was looking for me and I don't
know but it was a pretty bad situation. I was trying to get him
distracted by other things and take off and I was climbing really
high up on some shelving. We were watching the news and saw
something on the news about something I did or a copycat.
There was a part in the kitchen with Asia. When I was making
my food... I remember Swiss cheese, I was toasting something.
At the very end where I had that thing with wings on it on the
back of it. And in the front had two buttons that were in the
same place as something that used to be on her (Asia’s) outfit.
But it was different. I was using different stuff. And she's like,
“Hey, that's mine.” I'm like, “No, these are, these are the pins.”
But these are the safety pins, but they're different things on the
go. And she's like, “I want to try it on.”
We were making some kind of stuff on the stove. And I was look-
ing for Swiss cheese. And I couldn’t find any cheese that was sep-
arate from meat. It was like all the Swiss cheese in the house was
one piece of cheese and a pile of meat. So I was like “Ew, no way.”
There was a part where we were all watching that Christian con-
cert performance. And then there was the part with Isaac and it
was some guy's birthday. Some black Indian guy. I asked whose
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birthday it was, and some guy said “It’s his.” And like, it's, it's his.
And the birthday guy was looking down at the time and he heard
us talking about him so he was like “Huh?” And then I went “Oh
happy birthday!” And he was all “Hey thank you!” I felt weird
and uninvited though.
I remember Isaac did...what did he do? He did something

strange. It was Isaac, Bryant,Matt, you know a lot of the
Gravedancers. I think I had some kind of super ability of jump-
ing and floating or like suspending myself in the air for long pe-
riods of time. It was really weird. And I think I entered into the
party doing that, but then quickly realized I should not be doing
that here. I would jump in the air and then suspend and kind of
really slowly go back down. It was really weird.
Near the end there was a point where I was in the bathroom be-
cause I had left that little concert thing. I picked up my little
binder and pretended to pick up a Bible, trying to look like I still
went to church class. So then I left. And I went to the bathroom
because I noticed that I had my wig in my hand and I’m like “Oh
my gosh, people gonna see the wig in my hand and know that I'm
the one wearing that.” And so in the bathroom, but it was a really
creepy bathroom. First of all, you walk in and you have to turn
the corner once you're in there, and there's like a pit, not like a
pit but it went down some. it was all really dingy. And it was like
guys hosing each other down. And like weird. It was almost like a
futuristic quarantine building. And I was like, “Oh, no way.” I re-
member I turned back around. And then walks and he just passes
by me. And then right near the door is like a urinal or toilet. And
like that's the only normal toilet round. Yeah, I didn't even need
to use the toilet. I came in here because of my wig. But I ended
up going over and using the toilet and I was standing in a way
that was kind of weird because it was right next to the door so I
tried to do it in a way where I was turned away so that if anyone

walked in I wasn’t just standing there pissing.
So then I start pissing and a girl opens the door and just stands
there. She's wearing a mask of another girl. Like a mask that
looks like a girl. So it's not like a silly mask. It's just like a girl
mask on a girl's face. And I think it was one of X’s sisters. And
I’m just like what the hell. And so I'm just standing there taking
a piss. And I’m just looking at her. She says something, I forget.
So I just went over and hugged her. Like to kind of freak her out.
I don't know. I don't know what I was doing that I was trying
to freak her out, but she doesn't seem to care. So I'm like That's
weird. Because my pants were still down so I figured that would
freak her out.
“WHITE BALL PIT”
05/08/2015 | 3:55 PM
White ball pit. White clothing. It was crazy. There was just a sew-
er looking place that was just all white. I was climbing down in-
to it like, “Whoa! White ball pit!” And it was inside this sticky
white cellophane stuff. And I found this opening and it was just
like, weird and narrow and I climbed. I asked my father “Have
you seen this?” “Yes I’ve seen it.” This was after my father started
swerving recklessly down the road. And I kept telling him to stop
and slow down. And then we accidentally leapt and landed on
top of the building of the car. He's like, “Oh, well. Let’s just get
out and walk it off.” Apparently we had to do that for the car to
respawn in a different place and we just got a walk. And so then
I went exploring this place that was right next to us.
My mother was getting some shirt that said something about

with a lot of bees on it. Like “I’ve got more BOOZE than the
whole BUSINESS”
Pretty sure there was a weird scene where I walked into this place
that was so compromising. What was that part with those girls?
What was that thing I was doing at school as Dean? I was set-
ting something up where there were these girls. These girls were
staying at this place and were doing some work. Then these guys
came and got pissed off or so they're like “The last people that
were here didn't do this. So you guys got to help us figure out
what's up with this.” And so they made them go into the bath-
room and like, stand with the urinals or just I don't know what it
was. It was just mean and even humiliating.
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What was that thing where my father had this little slideshow
and it ended with pictures of me being born or just like, as a real-
ly small kid. And I remember Nanny coming up to me and whis-
pering to me. I'm like “NO!” And my mom asked “What did she
say? Is she trying to make your birthday more about God and less
about you?” That was exactly it, and it was ridiculous.
I recall making some comments. There were like five or six rows
of chairs here, so we had like fifty people sitting here watching
the slides.
I remember Poppop came over with this calendar right when we

were standing around looking at the photos on some wall. He
asks “You know who this is?” And I answer “That’s Houdini?”
“You know Houdini?”
“I do. For a while.”
“You know who this is?” He holds up another photo.
“That’s Grigori Rasputin.”
And he did something. I forgot he said about what he was talk-

ing about some phase where everyone had to do some white I
don't know.
There was also stuff about sneaking into the school property at
nighttime. I remember driving around doing that. That might
have been just a little while before we all drove too fast and too
crazy and landed atop a building in this tiny car. Which I was
pissed off about. Well, we were sneaking around some school. I
remember that Dean was in charge of overseeing the whole thing
going on at school. I think it was being videotaped. I was gonna
just run over to the people... the three guys and three girls, over
by the urinals. I was gonna run by and kick them into them or
whack them or something. I was thinking about it. But then I
was like “Wait, who am I right now?” Not knowing which role I
was playing.
“CAT MASK”
05/09/2015 | 7:01 AM
There was a really creepy part at the end. My father was saying
“Hey, Megan’s there, at the restaurant. She’s the one that’s always
wearing a cat mask.” He was talking about a girl at a restaurant.
He kept trying to tell me it was my friend Megan. Then I said
“Megan killed herself years ago.” So we just look in the distance
and see a weird person sitting there in a glowing mask in the
restaurant. It wasn’t a cat mask. It was featureless, but I can see
how someone might compare it to a cat due to the eyes.
Earlier on I got in trouble for taking pictures in that place. They

said “You’re gonna have to go back home and meet with... many
people have to do this course and it’s time for you to do it.” For a
while it just felt like a claustrophobic nightmare.
I went to this show to support Kim, or something like that, and

was going to take some pictures of that. I took like one picture
while standing up then sat down and started taking more. Then a
woman came by and stopped me. Suddenly I was in this claustro-
phobic room and I couldn't move at all. I was going oh my god,
how long do I have to wait for this guy to arrive?
I was trying to figure out what kind of outfit to wear. Was I going
to be Dean and wear a metal outfit, or Tendon?
So then I feared the man would never come. So I was changing

my clothes. Changing the image on my shirt. I changed the im-
age of my shirt to look like the place that was in the place I was
when I was taking pictures. Then I thought that might be a bad
idea.
1500
When that guy finally arrived I remember I just went over to my

door and opened it before I even heard anybody. This is when it
looked like my room again. Instead of just like this little claustro-
phobic closet. So I open my door and I just see him getting ready
to knock. So I go “Oh you’re here!” And he says “Hello” and
then starts trying to reach me. Pretty friendly guy. I remember
him talking about white spiders. He believed I got bit by white
spider. And I asked, “how would we know?” “Like you'd have felt
a bump probably around this area.” And so I felt it was like hmm-
mm. And he's like, “Yeah, just forget about it. It’s not a big deal.”
And I felt the bump. And he goes “Really?!” And I told him to
feel it. And he didn't want to touch me. I think it went beyond
his legal rights in his profession. So he wasn’t able to touch peo-
ple, but he had to as he was touching the spider bite. But as he
was touching the spider bite he had another hand on my stom-
ach so it was kinda weird how he had two hands on me at once.
He was a very short guy. Like 5’2.”
• “Huh. Old way. New way.” Some guy... oh wait, no, that’s me,
standing there with like two drinks in my left hand. All new and
shiny. Certainly steel-looking. I don’t know where I am. Not sure
what I’m talking about, though. Surely it’s a metal band.
I felt so awfully when I got removed from that place, like “no one
else is fucking getting removed from this place!” No one really
taught me anything.
By the way, that guy multiplied into like five people so there's
five guys in my hallway in my stairwell area by the end, and none
of them were saying anything constructive. So when they said at
the end “What did you learn?” I was gonna go up there and say
“Don’t point at logos.” Or something like that.
• Hmmm... thought I was painting on the wall for a sec...

“STRANGLER”
05/09/2015 | 3:33 PM
The dream ended with these girls. We were trying to make it to a
concert—my father and I. We were just kind of strolling through
this place at night. We were like staying on the campgrounds
nearby this place. And so we're walking around, wondering what
are they doing now? Because I heard some singing and I said
“Geez, sometimes it sounds like tuneful singing. And sometimes
it just sounds like atonal abrasions.” And I'm like, “geez, what is
that? I listed like a play with a girl in it and he pulls out a piece of
paper that's folded up in his pocket. He goes “No, it's the some-
thing something.” Since he had said “Hey, such and such hand
starts in ten minutes.”
“Do you want to see them?”
“Why not?”
“Then we gotta hurry.”
So we take off running, and there is snow all over the ground.
I’m running as fast as I can. I don't know what the crap he is do-
ing, because when I look behind me, we had been pushing carts
around the snow, and when I look back, he's helping push the car
of some other women. Like “what the hell is he doing? He just
said hurry up.” And so I'm taking my cart, and there's a cart ly-
ing down and blocking the way and so I tried to go around it but
realize that's not possible. I like leapt off of the step and tried to
like go around but I just like went right into it. So I like removing
the wrong obstacle and couldn't remove that one. But there were
these other girls, there's these two Japanese girls that were kind of
1502
like, going at the same speed as the rest of us, they were kind of
going to that same place. So, they started helping with removing
the cart that was in the way. I would have helped them, but they
were already almost done. So they picked it up and one of the
girls was pushing it through the gate. And so I started, you know,
I saw them standing there and I went to get my cart. And when
I started to go through, my father put his hand on my shoulder.
And he goes, “Let them go first. They did that.” And I’m like “I
know,” and then I made another slight movement and he does it
again “Let them to first.” And I said “I fucking know. Take your
hand off my shoulder or I can’t do anything.” And I'm like, “let's
go.” And he wouldn't take his hand off my shoulder and so I said
it again l, “Fucking get your hand off my shoulder and stop talk-
ing to me like this. I told you I know.” And he just kept doing
it. And I don't know if there was something that happened after
that. I think he just threw his hands around my neck and start-
ed choking me and I ended up falling backwards into the snow,
and my head sinking in the snow. I'm looking up at him all angry,
and he's just strangling me. And I just remember coughing, and
it was one of the most frightening things. I was thinking ‘What
the hell, I can't talk. I can't do anything. I'm stuck. I'm gonna die
here. He's gonna kill me.’ And it just felt so real. And I woke up
from that... that was pretty horrible.
We just went on a nighttime walk to this thing. The dream in-

volved finding an old Christmas present they never gave to me
just because they thought that... It was like a video game or some-
thing. I'm like, “What's this? Is this CD?”
“No, it's a video game.”
“What happened to this?”

“We never gave it to you just because we figured that you would
want someone else instead.”
“I don’t know. It looks kind of cool.”
This was so long after Christmas, though. So I was like huh. And
I was just thinking about it for the rest of the day. Later I came
back and was saying “Hey... about that game... If I take that. Did
you already...” I was trying to figure out what to do. Like, I was
gonna say, like, “If I take that from you and don't open it, then
decide to sell it, can I keep that money?” Or “Did you already
pay for that and take that money from my money?” Like, “No,
we didn't take that from your money. We put it back.” And so
I said “so I wouldn’t make any money if I decided I didn’t want
that?” “Nope.”
I was trying to figure out something to do with it, some kind of

scheme, where I could either play it or make money. There was
also a part where pizza came, and I went “Mmmm, did you guys
only order one pizza? And I was standing in the kitchen with my
mom. “Yeaaaah.” She says.
“No more?”
“Oh there is.”
“Then there’s two pizzas?”
“No.”
“Wait, is there one pizza?”
“Yeah.”
“Is there two pizzas?”

“Yeah.”
I got so confused, like what the fuck are you saying.
I kept going on. I kinda wanted a piece. My father was in the

bathroom at this time. I remember he was showing me some se-
cret TV station on TV. He went to channel 306 or 307 and then
pressed the info button, or a secret button, And it took you to
this weird, strange station. Where it was these guys that were just
like, making fun of people. I don't know what it was. But I just
remember Jerry Falwell jokes. And it just kept going on about
Jerry Falwell. And there was like the Queen of England walking
around with like, they were making jokes. Someone was coming
up on stage to get something and it showed the Queen of Eng-
land. She had a tiara. So they were joking “You the queen wear a
tiara!” But it was set on something invisible. So it was like four
feet above her head, floating. It looked like that anyway, because
it was like, on something, and I’m wondering what the hell is
that. And right after she got on stage, she's still wearing that. She
gets in this little bumper cart thing, just this little scooter, which
is attached to this other guy who's going to drive her on another
little weird looking scooter thing, it's just like a little miniature
child's bike, and it had like five training wheels and people came
in and said “Look at the Queen's chauffeur, he has five training
wheels, or six so it doesn't tip over!” And I forget but it was real-
ly weird. And it was showing all these different things like that...
president's doing stupid things. Queens doing stupid things. Jer-
ry Falwell being an idiot. Then I accidentally changed the chan-
nel and didn’t know how to get back to it. And so I think l...be-
cause I wanted to watch it, but I didn't want to show anyone else
that that’s what I was interested in. So I changed it off. But then
when he went to the bathroom I tried to get it back on and I
couldn't figure it out. But then I figured it out eventually.
We lived in this weird little apartment building. Something not

far off from this festival venue. I remember hearing those weird
voices echoing.
As soon as he began strangling me I became totally lucid, I'm like

“Due to my condition. If I think this is l happening, this is really
gonna happen, huh?! And so I woke myself up so that I wouldn’t
experience any somatism.
“KNOCK KNOCK”
05/10/2015 | 3:09 PM
There was that part at the end that was so funny. Me and those
people were in the bathroom after that big fucking failed test,
that we fail at almost immediately. I went into the bathroom all
pissed off, and I started punching things but then I regretted it.
I'm like “Dammit, I promised myself I wouldn't punch anymore.
I can't believe how easy it is to forget the promises I’ve made to
myself.” And that huge black guy in the bathroom went “Uhh
huh!” He was just standing there waiting at the door while Sam
went inside and shut the door and I started trying to punch a
hole. After twelve or thirteen punches, he goes “Ain’t no way
you’re gonna put a hole in that thing.” I'm like “I could try.” And
so Sam comes in. It's a public restroom. So we’re all standing in-
side the bathroom. And I just remember, I was just so pissed off.
And I was just talking a little bit while I was walking by that big
black guy. I made a few comments to him and then I went and
pissed.
There had been a test beforehand. And we went in there and

everyone started reciting weird things. They were all moving
their mouths to some kind of story. Everyone was moving their
mouths to the same thing. And me and like, whoever I came
there with, Sam, we were just not doing anything. We're just
standing there. And so then the whole thing stopped. And a
woman looked at us. And she's like, “What are you guys doing?
Why don’t you say anything? Who taught you?”
“No one taught me. I came here on my own.”
“So you didn't go through the thing?”

1507
“No, I don't even know what thing you're talking about.”
“Then how did you get here?!”
And I'm like, “I don't know. I just heard that people did some-
thing like this. And I thought hey, I like my brain. I'm good at
the unconscious.”
“We’re going to have to disqualify you.”
So I freaked out, “What?!”
And I'm trying to figure out what that thing was with the girl
that happened outside. This girl was totally saving me. Not with
this. This one was over and done with and I was so pissed. This is
when I went and started beating up the door.
And then there were other people in the bathroom too, like this
foreign guy. There was this guy we called KNOCK KNOCK.
We were making jokes—me and someone else. I was talking
about the magician in our group. And I'm like, “Yeah, he did
something something. I can’t even tell what he’s saying some-
times.” And some guy responds “I’ve never been able to under-
stand what he says. We all just call him KNOCK KNOCK be-
cause of how he pronounces something.” And so we're just laugh-
ing about that. There were like more guys in the bathroom at this
point, since the testing class had let out. When I came out of the
stall, there were like four or five guys lined up. And there was this
guy in a red t-shirt, which I think I helped out during the first
round of the game, which I passed. And I'm like, “Man, you're
here? How many of you guys failed in the first leg of the second
round.” And most of the guys did. One of the guys had known,
but he failed anyway because he sucked. “And so you guys didn't
know there was this thing?” They all shook their heads no. And
so I started leading this bathroom revolution and I was so pissed

off.
I don't know what happened. I just started talking to someone.

I'm like, “What about Rebecca?” I think her name was Rebecca.
There was some awesome girl outside who has helped me do
something, and I forget what she did, but I was hoping she
would come through for us. I don't know if that's the girl who
came into the bathroom at this point. But someone came in here,
some girl. I was talking to them.
I remember everyone staring at me like I’m leading the revolu-

tion, but then I turned to the girl all cocky and am like “Hey,
do you know that I own complete rights to this dude’s song? It
was like Justin Timberlake or something, possibly the song Rock
With Me. Something weird like that. And she's like “Yep.” And
I go “How do you know?” And she says “I was looking at that
thing a couple years ago and it popped up and no one claimed
this one, no one claimed this one and no one claimed this one,
and then your name just pops up to claim this one. I cannot be-
lieve you did that.” And I'm like, “Yeah, I didn't even care. I was
doing something and we just needed a song. It could be about
someone. It could be about... not someone,” and I see people
laughing in my periphery when I said that, because I was just so
apathetic. It was so funny. But we're just talking about that and
she’s not having it.
I let out a weird screech at one point.
Man, it was crazy. Then the part where we were riding in the
car for a while. There was a part where Nanny and Poppop were
over. probably. I did a thing where I made a slur like twice. Not
a source but I had something written on my chest that was like
a joke, and I had limited uses, and both times I used it it was
just ill-timed. It was something offensive on my shirt and I would

quote it at the worst times.
In my mind I can see that girl just kind of lifelessly saying “Yeah-
hhh... yeaahhh.” Just because she’s tired from what happened.
“GET HER SOME HELP”
05/10/2015 | 4:36 PM
I was driving in the car with Asia, and we were kicking each
other with the blankets. And there was a girl that appeared at one
point. Oh man, what was that stuff about. We were with these
enemies in a room and that girl came in. I tried to save that girl
robot that had been destroyed a long time ago and I kept saying
“What about her? What about her?” and the guy said ”We can’t
salvage her. That was a while ago.” The girl was in this tube or
something, like in this thing in the wall. I just remember I was
with all these enemies. They were just these weird creepy people
that were torturing a bunch of us. Me and a few people were dri-
ven far away in this torture vehicle and were taken to this place
but I remember I was sitting there kind of like chained to a table
or I couldn't move at all because there were people watching me
if I moved then they were given the right to hurt me and there
was this lady. I forget what happened. She started shorting out,
because she was robotic, because of all that we had been through
in this evil place. And after like an hour of her standing there not
letting me move because she could kill me if I moved around in a
certain way, she started shorting out and dying, I went and tried
to help her and I called for the others “Hey! Get her some help!”
Her elbow was falling apart or something weird. I was moving
her arm and I forget what happened. But then the other dude
yeah, like there's a robotic dude he was kind of cool, kind of like
Questo, he shows up. I’m like “Man this is the guy that I've been
wanting to destroy the whole time and here he is standing before
me.” But I just said “Get her some help.” And so he tried to fix
her. And everyone was surprised that I helped her. I wasn't even
trying to escape. I was just trying to make sure that everything
1511
was going smoothly for her, and eventually the guy just let me go.
He just calmly said “Go. Go on,” in a really understated way.
It was like I passed their test, but I didn’t know it was a test at
first. I think I even came back later to check on them.
• I ran into that spaceship and grabbed something. No more pepper-

oni. She’s like “Join us for brains.” Yeah, good job teasing me. There’s
no more of that kind. I’m not gonna do anything like this, you’re
crazy. She didn’t even make sense. Ditzy little girl. Jeez.
• Bend over benches. What a dick. One of the terms is barely used
by women. Can barely get it out. Can barely even pronounce it
right. Geez, these comments that people are making. It’s like the in-
quisition.
I remember being at the Pine Hill house and Scarlet was there
with us. And she ran out when my parents came home with a
bunch of groceries. Bunch of bugs. And the dog ran down with
us, l down to the sidewalk. And I think maybe I just got back too.
I don't know. I think it was just my mother. But I was just arriv-
ing from someplace. I just remember we left the bags there for a
few seconds unattended to. Scarlet went through them. She just
started going through the bags. And so she starts pulling things
out of the bag. My mom is going “Aww Scarlet, don’t do that.”
But then she reaches into the bag with her paw, pulls out Count
Chocula, hands it to me. Like literally handing it to me. she
reaches out, grasps it with her paw, pulls it back out and hands
it to me. And I was in awe. I didn’t know what to say. And my
mom said something dumb. Like, “Scarlet, going through these
boxes. And my sister's like, “You just missed the whole point of
what happened. Did you not just see what she just did?” And so
I guess Asia saw it too. And so we're just looking at it like, wow,
and I took the box. You know, it really wasn't my box. It was just
my parents getting some cereal. But now that Scarlet had done
that for me, I was just like, “wow, this is my box and I'm gonna
save this.”
“THE MANIMAL”
05/11/2015 | 4:29 PM
That was quite a dream. I don’t remember this guy's name, but I
was in a big house to start with. There were all these kids. There
was this Japanese girl. For the first while I was trying desperate-
ly to fall asleep and I was getting so mad because I couldn't go
anywhere. I kept changing rooms and yelling at people, whatev-
er. But I finally went into this room.
No, I was going for a walk down the street with Asia and she
freaked out. She was like, “What is that?” Then she paused. “We
better run.” And I asked “What is that thing? Is that a real ani-
mal?”And she responds “Whether it is a real animal or a guy in
an animal suit, we need to get in the house. But the guy made it
onto the deck very quickly. It was someone in a mascot looking
outfit. He made it into the house and he held us hostage while
he was going through our stuff. I remember he made me take a
piss in the doorway because he didn't want me shutting the door.
He was like “Piss for seven hours and twelve minutes exactly or
I will kill you.”And I asked “Can’t I just piss in the doorway like
normal?” He's like “Yeah, whatever, just do it.” He has so many
weird requests. It was a black guy in a costume. And I remember
that part where we were in my parents room and he wanted me
to show him around the place. I was trying to make casual con-
versation to lessen his aggression, so I was making comments like
“Hey, the CDs are in here.” “Where are the CDs?” “In this draw-
er, I think.” And so he opens it up and he’s thumbing through the
albums “Sucks, sucks, sucks, sucks. Hey wait, I know this one.
Put this on!” So we’re now looking through the CD’s together.
And there's that hat on the floor and he comments “Nice hat.”
1514
And I'm like “I think it's my mother's.” “I wonder if it would look

good on me.” And then I commented that I wondered how it
would look on me and he goes “Eh, your hair ain’t right for it.”
And I agreed with him, since it was kinda tubular and required
thicker hair, like dreadlocks. But then I still kind of wanted to see
so I put on my head, and I looked so good. Then he came over
and started acting kind of weirdly like I was a girl. Just weird stuff
like that. It was just a very surreal experience. Because I was being
robbed and he was sitting through all my stuff but I was forcing
myself to stay positive and cooperative. I remember him looking
through the upstairs where I keep my inventory and I was asking
him what he thought. “Cool room, huh? I just put those shelves
in myself.” He never got to my room—thank goodness. Because
people don’t usually go to the basement first.
Later on, there were all those kids wearing those shirts and I’m
like “Jeez, these kids got good taste in music.” The thing ended
with that Canadian punchline with those people on TV. And it
was like some kind of weird TV episode thing going on. It end-
ed with us walking up this conveyor belt, these stairs, these weird
stairs. We had checked on this place. He took me outside this
one building to go and talk into the door. We were both talking.
He was talking into this door saying some weird stuff. And I re-
member some shrink or someone from earlier on who came to
visit him was behind a sink at a table eating his food.
And there was also Puddy who high fived me because that Japan-
ese girl said something to me. He was asking me if I had a green
card, and he asked me what my ring was for. He was asking weird
questions like that. I remember I responded enthusiastically with
a deep “YEAH!” to one of the things he said and he goes “AL-
RIGHT!” And high fives me. And it was Puddy, from Seinfeld.
As for that Japanese girl. She was being so loud. Yes, she came in.
She was being so loud. And I went over and yelled at her in front
of people. I went and stood on one side of her while she was
sitting on the computer. I remember that guy just staring at me
but he was kind of smiling and laughing a little bit while eaves-
dropping. I was like “LISTEN, I came over here and said that
I need quiet, and so you turn on this loud dance music?” And
she was just huffing and puffing, and then they took off. And
maybe that's who I took off with. Maybe it was never Asia. I re-
member being in the car with all those girls and looking down
that girl's shirt who was sitting in the front seat. And I remem-
ber jumping out of the car and coming out of someone else's car.
Then I came out of the door of someone else’s car. And I was
like, “What the hell? Why does this door look different?” And
I looked to my side and there were different people. And they’re
like “Maybe because this is not your car?” And I'm like how the
hell did that happen? They started freaking out, like, why did
you just come out of our car? And they said something like now
it’s pretty much easier at this point to believe that some kind of
quantum transport thing put you in our car out of nowhere and
you came out of it.” It was just like, they gave an explanation, like
I was breaking... And I'm like, “No, it's actually a lot easier to be-
lieve, given the circumstance that I was climbing into my own car
appeared in yours and came out.” And it was a really funny mo-
ment.
But anyway, I remember while that guy was raiding the stuff in
my parents room I remember, he was sitting on the bed looking
at the CDs or something. And I remember just thinking, what
am I here for? What's my purpose, and I'm thinking ‘I’ve been
waiting all my life for someone to come walking in here on me
to do this same thing. I'm like, I've been waiting all this time
for criminals.’ And I just remember sitting on the floor while he
was sitting on the bed. And I said “I want to hear about what
you think about the world, about people. And just honestly not
like, I'm a psychologist, you're a patient. I just want to hear your
take.” He's like, “I already told you what I think about people.” I
was trying to think really hard about what he's referring to, but I
couldn't. So I'm like, “I’m not gonna use any of this against you.
It's just for my own private understanding. But I want to know
what really brought you to this place. And made you want to do
this.” I remember he was just talking about how when he was
growing up he had to do this stuff, and even when he was doing
kind gestures, if he loved a woman, he’d have to steal her some-
thing. He did this and he’d have to... I don't know, just to get by
he had to steal. And no place would accept him because he had
such a bad record. I don't know. So it was like a catch 22. It was
so weird. So we're just talking, I'm thinking ‘White Combs, White
Combs, White Combs!’ in my head the whole time he was talk-
ing. And he just really opened up and he started talking about
different things. And he's like, “yeah, man” he's just talking about
his story. And I was just really interested and he's just, he's just
getting into it. At first he was very threatening and always had
his hand looking like he's gonna shoot me or something. I don't
even know if he had a gun. But he just looked violent for most
of the time. But then he just started really, you know, he's just
a skinny black guy. And then he started really opening up and,
and that's when he was like, taking me out. He's like, “Check this
out.” And he takes me outside to the thing on the door. And he's
talking to the door. He's like, “Something something something,
space something something, check me something. One, some-
thing. Two.” I don't know what he was doing. But the guy from
earlier in the dream, the shrink guy. He was staring at us con-
fused. And he's just looking at us like, “Is that the same door that
I just walked by? Did I do it wrong?” And I'm trying not to look
at the guy to make a comment, because I didn’t want to offend

the guy that I was with, but that guy was just confused at the
table. And he's like, “I thought I just ordered my lunch through
there. Maybe I was wrong.” I just hear him making all these com-
ments. Because he looked very weird. And I was just really hop-
ing he wouldn't come over and interrupt. And like, try to get him
arrested or something.
Then we got access into this building. We walked inside. At first

I went to the right side, but then realized he went to the left
side, which is where there was like this weird slope that was like
a conveyor slope and it was really, really difficult to walk on. I
followed him up and that's where we stopped at the top of the
slope and we're standing looking around. He was showing me he
was like, “This is where it was.” I'm like, “What is this?” “It’s the
showroom.” And he was sitting down and I could just tell he was
weirded out. We're just sitting there, it was like a car showroom
or something. It wasn't cars though. It was like a furniture store.
It was really weird. And he was like “This is where it was.” I just
remember this woman walking by it. And I'm thinking, does he
know her? It was just a very surreal moment because I felt that
for him, like this is where something significant happened to him
in this room.
Earlier on, as I was talking to him at one point in my dream my

jaw started to hurt and I kept being afraid that he would whip
me in the neck or something because of the way he was acting.
When he showed up at the beginning he was wearing this giant
weird animal suit, like a tiger or a bunny. It was like a mascot suit
though it had a blue shirt on the animal, so it was kind of car-
toony but he just came running down the street into our yard
and into our front door. And it was freaky as hell. Because me
and my sister, or me and that Japanese girl, whoever it was, we're
just like “Shit. What are we gonna do now?” And there was just
no getting away from him. He was keeping us all there. But then,
you know, at a certain point when I got more chummy with him,
he started taking me around, not as I got chummy, but I think
he didn't like me at first. He just expected me to be the one that
got away or something. So he was bringing me around with him
and forced me to go along with him. Yeah, I remember when I
needed to piss, I closed the door, and he was like “Nuh uh, what
are you doing? What are you doing?” And I see the door mov-
ing. Like it was shut, but I see him pushing it in so far that it’s al-
most breaking. I just see him pushing it in. And I'm like, “I gotta
pissed.” He's like, “You’re gonna do it with the door open! You're
gonna do with the door open!” And so I'm like, “jeez, I almost
pissed.” And I just had to open it up and let him give me his de-
mands. Anyway, remember, my dad was standing there too. So I
turned kind of away because I was kind of like “I don’t want my
dad to see me pissing.”
I’m pretty sure this guy had his pants off at one point too. What
was that about? Was he trying to molest me or something when
I had that girl's hat on? I don't know. I don't think that's the case.
But I mean, I don't know. It's weird. Was that kid that was really
pissed off. Reminded me of Dominic. I don't know who it was.
But there was like a lot going on earlier in the dream, with those
Japanese people. And for so much of the earlier parts I was trying
to sleep and me and Asia were having a spat.
But it was weird just standing in that showroom there waiting

just for something to happen. And I remember, those kids
walked by, they all had metal shirts on. And so I was like “Damn,
those kids got some cool shirts.” I was just looking around and
that's where it faded off into that Canadian scene where like
these space people come walking by and they're filming for a set.
And I just remember thinking of the things this guy is saying

sounds like schizophrenia or something. He sounds extremely
paranoid. And he's all into this alien stuff and what the hell but
I'm like you know what? There's more to it than that. I'm not
gonna say anything. I'm not even gonna think about that any-
more (like diagnostics and stuff ) because I really liked this guy's
story and I want to see if he's eligible for the Combs.
“TRANSFER”
05/12/2015 | 8:56 AM
Everyone was hanging out in the basement in Londonberry. A
party was going on. I remember sitting on the couch talking to
all these people. I remember sitting in a fucking computer chair
with fucking Micah. He was doing something on the comput-
er. He was trying to clear something out and he was trying to
transfer something but there wasn't enough space and he's like
“There’s only one megabyte left.” And then I saw that he was still
transferring stuff so we had to cancel those because I had to clear
up some space. I had to go over there but he wouldn't get out of
the chair so I just had to sit there in the chair with him and it was
so stupid and uncomfortable. I'm not sure I cared about how un-
comfortable it was but it was the situation and I just don’t like
him.
There was this part where I was completely naked and I walked
into the utility room and there was a girl there and I knelt in
front of her and put my hands on her. I just said something weird
like “My girlfriend’s dead.” And the whole thing just moved way
too quickly.
After that scene I tried to put a price on everyone else. And for
the rest of the dream I was trying to figure out their price, like
everyone was candy to me or something. They all had a value,
and when that was met, when that was spent, I don’t know. It was
weird but complex.
1521
“DISCONTINUE THE
MILKSHAKE”
05/13/2015 | 8:26 AM
I won a milkshake. There was also that part where I went into
a Kroger and I was walking through the aisle and I remember
there's that guy and that girl, and the guy told me “It’d be better if
you just leave.” Apparently the girl liked me. The guy was her fa-
ther. But at the Kroger I got weird things, like a t-shirt and half-
eaten box of cereal which I ate while I was still in the store. I was
at this diner, and my father, I had him stop there because I want-
ed a milkshake. But the first diner we stopped at had its ceiling
caved in from a recent storm and so we went to another one.
• Yeah, the dreaming thing. Have I done that? What is it called?

The dreaming thing. No, it’s not called the dreaming thing, but
that’s what I’m talking about. Yeah. Yeah I've done it. I’ve done it
for a while.
That guy threatened me quite a bit in the store. He apparently

did that to several guys. At the very end of the dream it briefly
touched on the fact that Rocky's birthday was coming up in the
next few weeks
So yeah, I went in there and my father asked if they had a certain

milkshake and they said “No, sorry we're discontinuing this one
and we've only got this one available tonight. And that one, it-
self, is almost out.”
So I sat down on this big leather couch, both sides, armrest. It

was a small couch, a one-seater. I don’t know why I said big. I
1522
don’t know if I’ve been talking out loud or in my head. I hate

that.
He had me do a show, the guy in the store, he asked me all those

questions, the first round had sixteen, the second one had five
or six. I scored ninety something. I got all the questions right in
the first one well, it wasn’t just like ‘how many can you get right
within a given period of time?’
I remember making a Kori joke when I walked in. That was

weird. The guy that owned the store looked at me all the sudden
after a while and he stared at me “How ya doing? KORI. I know
all about you, KORI? I know alllllll that’s going on. I am aware
of it alllllll.” He was looking at me all creepy and other people
were staring at me.
When that was done I went into the car and really wanted my
thing but I never got my milkshake. What was I gonna get, a
pretzel something? When I got back in the car at the end of the
night I didn't have any drinks or anything. I remember going in-
to the parking lot there's one or two cars in the parking lot. I’m
like “oh shit” because I didn’t see my dad’s car at first.
So I asked him for some money to go and get a milkshake. He

just gave me his credit card and told me they might already be
sold out of milkshake by now since one of the flavors was being
discontinued... the thing that woman told him.
There was also that part in the first place where me Asia and
Nanny and Poppop were going down this freefall thing at an
amusement park which just drops you down super quickly. You
have these things around your arms. I remember wearing the har-
ness of seatbelt. Your arms went inside it. But we were sitting
down. Freaky. I enjoyed it though. I needed to swallow or spit as
I was going down and it was going so fast and I did swallow and
I was so glad.
• “Hunting Down” is the name of the band for the dead. It’s a dead
band, for a dead... Bono?
Trying to remember the specifics about the cereal I got in that

store. Something psychic. It had to do with psychics... like psy-
chic cereal. I got two things. It was just a weird combo but I felt
kind of cool getting it.
When we were on that freefall thing, we were all kind of worried

about Asia because she like curled up in a blanket and decided to
go off on the other side of the platform, like the far right, which
was really not far from everyone else, but it seemed like there was
no shoulder harnesses or anything where she was, so she was just
kind of sitting there curled up on the floor with her blanket and
her arms around her knees. And we were all worried about her
disappearing or blowing away. She wouldn’t let the guys who put
the harnesses on you come near her.
• It’s weird, ‘cause they only want to make you scrub a little more.
The guys just want to be done. They just want you to scrub a little
more. The guys just want to be done.
“MANGO BABY”
05/14/2015 | 8:52 AM
There was the part where I was in that jungle-like place and
found a little room, a little private room where I saw some people
in it so I peeked in, and there were three musicians sitting
around. They allowed me to sit in with them.
I remember taking care of a little kid. I was feeding a little kid

this baby food. At one point I was driving with my parents and
there was something weird that happened towards the end of the
drive. I remember asking the little baby what kind of drinks it
wanted or what kind of food it wanted, or flavor of fruit stuff.
And I remember we didn’t have the kind that they said they
wanted and so I was like “okay!” They asked for a specific flavor
and I got them a different one that was close enough and they
didn’t notice. I don’t know if they said mango or if I got the man-
go but I'm pretty sure that was a flavor. But that was there.
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“GIFTWRAPPED”
05/14/2015 | 4:55 PM
That was a weird place to wake up. Right when we're all sitting
around in a circle in what looked like... maybe the Londonberry
basement, maybe Patrick's basement? I don't know. Right as that
one woman, that blonde woman that was sitting to my left but
on the other couch... she was kind of ahead and to the left. She
started talking. And there was part where I was in the store and
looking for Crash Bandicoot figurines. But there was just that
part where she was looking at us going through our things. It
was a gift giving holiday, and she was talking about how disap-
pointed she was to see that when we were each given our gifts,
some people looked at the glittery nice font and the purple stick-
er with the elegant glittery handwriting on the front, and most
of us didn’t get any further than “your package,” Or you know,
just like the words that said “package” before wanting to unwrap
it. They were CDs I think.
So she was like lecturing everyone. She was going “I saw who did
that. And you guys sitting over there,” and she looked not at the
group that I was in “I've heard some of the creepy, dirty things
you’ve been saying this week, and...” she was just making differ-
ent comments. I was like, “geez, man, she's intimidating us.” And
she hadn’t yet focused her attention on the group of people to
which I belonged. Then she finally looked around at me but she
didn't have anything bad to say, but I just saw her looking right
at me and I was getting so sleepy though. I started falling asleep
while she was talking. And I was like “oh no.” And my eyes were
closed. And all of a sudden, I just felt completely asleep right in
front of her and everyone. But then I started trying to open my
1526
eyes. I was like, sleep paralyzed. I was seeing a different couch

than the one I was on, and I was like “oh no, everyone's watching
me rock back and forth. Everyone's watching me stuck.” I was so
stiff that all I could do was chatter my jaw back and forth, and I
had to move like that, and jeez I hope I wasn’t doing that in real
life. That would NOT be good for my jaw. But I was waking my-
self up and no one was there anymore and I woke up here.
Much earlier on, we were all sitting in a circle. And that girl was
wearing a costume. Someone to one side of me said “I'm not fa-
miliar with that character,” referring to the girl. And I'm like,
“Whoa, boy, I can't believe they just did that,” because this was
a super enthusiastic fan girl, and now she comes running over
and she's just so enthusiastic and rambling a mile a minute. She'd
been dressed like that for a while now, too. What were we sitting
around discussing?
That woman was just like “You want to get to your present so
badly that you rip away at the beautiful, elegant wrapping as soon
as you see that it’s yours.” She had apparently spent so much time
on these minor perfectionistic details and simply couldn’t han-
dle seeing everyone ripping off the wrapping without even both-
ering to marvel at the work she put into the lettering.
I didn’t do that, though, so she wasn't blaming me. About a

dozen people in the room were guilty, which was about half of
the people present.
We were all taking turns to speak, though, so she was the last
one to do it before I woke up (obviously). Other people had the
chance to speak, too. So we were all sitting in a circle listening
and talking. It was kinda like a birthday celebration with cos-
tumes and gifts. There was a dog. The dog got loose outside and
my mom was freaking out, since I guess it was Tokyo. It was a
weird place, too. She got loose outside and went running. When
I saw the dog in the distance I thought I saw a bunny hanging
out of her mouth so I was kind of afraid to look closer because
the mere thought of it was grossing me out. I called her back and
she wasn't coming, so I started doing the fake food in the hand
trick where I hold my hand out and say “Treat! Treat!” And I got
her to come back in by doing that. But when I saw her running
at me I ran back into the house. I just stood in the doorway with
my hand like that but I opened it up too soon and she ran back
out after I just got her back in there since I wasn’t able to shut the
door in time.
What was with these people, though. There was that girl in the
purple outfit. It was kind of like a Power Ranger thing. I think
they were dressed as anime characters. She was, at least.
“LATE FOR CAMP”
05/15/2015 | 9:55 AM
At the end of that dream I had those two hot gothic girls in that
car as I was running down the street frantically. They stopped for
me when I was running by and I got a look at who was in the car
and so I backed up a few steps and I'm like, “Heyyyyy!” So I act-
ed all cool. Something about church. I don’t know. I think they
invited me into the car to come with them. My dad still had all
my bags and my cigarettes and stuff, so it didn’t feel right to just
jump in their car and take off. They were definitely staring at me,
though.
Yeah, you don’t get this gentle with Freedom Peach.
Needed to go to church camp. There was all this trouble getting

there. First we had the times wrong. We got into a huge fight and
I remember thinking we got in a fight on the lawn and they’re
like “You’ve been a jerk since you’ve been listening to black met-
al.” Really stressful dream. It took me so long to get ready. It was
kind of a spur of the moment thing. Wait, I remember being at
church though. I remember being there with Isaac, making fun
of Patrick's death, and he was getting upset. I also had my Si-
mon Le Bon poster packed in my camp bag, apparently along
with several others. I was going to put them on the wall of the
camp. I had a bunch of shirts, too. They were like metal shirts,
like Dean’s shirts. And I remember these guys at camp. I remem-
ber this one guy walking in the room and I’m like “Wait, do I
know you?” And he's like, “Nope.” I'm like, “Because you look
familiar enough that you could be like the grownup version of
someone I knew when he was younger, but at the same time, you
can be totally new.” And everyone started laughing because of
1529
how serious I was, and he repeated “No I don’t know you.” Then
another kid walked in and I was like “Wait, who are you?” And
he said “I’m Daniel.” And I went “Whoa!” I was constantly try-
ing to figure out who everybody was. It was like a reunion. So me,
Daniel, Isaac, Alex and one other random guy had a room. Alex
was sleeping under the bed. So weird.
Yeah, so I was at the place, but since then I got back home and
was trying to go again. I was in a rush, I was in such a rush, I
waited too long with the sleep and everything else and it was like
twenty to four and I had to go. I asked my father to get in the car
and he said “Don’t worry about it. It’s four o’clock now, and there
are a lot of elementary age kids going, so it’s not going to start till
five o'clock. Go check the flier again.” And I said “I'm pretty sure
it's fucking four o'clock.“ he said it was fine, and that’s when we
got in m a big fight and we couldn’t get in touch with Vernon on
the phone to clarify.
By the time five o’clock came around we were out. I came back,
and I don’t know what happened but my dad was still driving
around and I don’t know where he went, but I don't think he
realized he was driving around without me. Couldn’t figure out
what to do. That’s when I ran down the street waving my arms,
didn’t mean to call anybody, but that’s when that car stopped
and I was like “oh no what’s this” and I kept running, but then
I looked back after a few foot and saw that it was two hot goth
girls so I was like “ooookay I’ll go back.” And I talked to them.
So many things in my bag. Makeup and cigarettes and metal t-

shirts and posters. What happened when I got to my room...
maybe I was the one under the bed. I know I had another dream
before this...I was way too tired to record anything.
“CHAINSAW DEATH”
05/15/2015 | 4:41 PM
I just killed a guy with a chainsaw. It was really nasty. I was in
this weird building like a skate shop, and one of the guys I was
against. I forget how I didn’t it but it got so gross. I just did not
want to lose, so I saved off both of his arms, both of his legs. So
gory. But he didn’t feel like a real person to me. More like an en-
emy from a different race. And then it ended with an enemy say-
ing “yeah they don’t make posters for just five kills. That sucks.”
And we all agreed. Four or five guys walked away because we all
thought we’d get pics of my battle but you don’t get one for hav-
ing so few kills. Where were we though? I just remember when
the bell finally timed out and the guy officially lost all life inside
of him. I just kept cutting off limb after limb and he was still
alive, so when that ding ding ding finally happened I knew he
was deceased and it was creepy. I think I had something bloody
in my position that people were a little disturbed by. Not even
sure what our goal was.
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“EASTER EGGS”
05/17/2015 | 10:29 AM
Stuff about skateboards. I was up all night talking to this girl on-
line. Stuff about Florentin and his name being like a special street
name and nickname.
I was acting really weird around this girl. We were up all night in
bed and in the morning I woke her up and was like “Do you re-
member last night?” I remember driving around downtown like
a city area looking for fireworks. We passed by an accident at one
point. I stayed in a far off building with these Jewish people of
Middle Eastern people who were secluded and they were doing
research on something and then later on one of them learned
that one of the girls was hitting on them and she was like, “Who
are you looking for?” “I’m looking for the girl that slurped light-
ly in the car, or made this kind of mouth noise.” She does “like
this” and slurps and they go “It’s you!” It was just some weird sto-
ry that happened before with a girl slurping in the car in the dark
or making these weird insect faces and the guy had been looking
for her for a while.
What was I doing with my girlfriend in bed all night? She was
asleep and I was acting nuts. I remember when she was asleep I
had my head on her side and I was very cuddly and I think she
was stroking my head. Did she have a heart tattoo on her side?
I remember a lot of weird names. What was all that skateboard

stuff ? I had been looking online at these pictures of guys on
boards. And I had created some image where he was describing
me and Florentin and our code names, and he was the street-
something guy. Wish I could remember. I was going to click on
1532
the image I made later on and I couldn't get to it because there

was like an advertisement for Kool Aid and I had to wait for that
to end.
I remember when my girlfriend woke up and I was asking “Do

you remember me all throughout the night?“ I just started saying
funny things. “I took my pants off and I was making funny noises
and I was finding Easter eggs.” And then I started counting East-
er eggs in a song format. “Is it four? Is it six?”
When I was in the car I was in the backseat with her while we
were driving through the city.‘I was resting on the side or her
shoulder and I was just like falling asleep and I remember her
stroking my hair. We passed through this dark city. There were
cops and crashes everywhere and I was uncomfortable so I was
leaning against her.
“THE KIDS THAT WERE
FORGOTTEN BY THE MONTHS
OF THE YEARS”
05/19/2015 | ???
Last thing I recall before waking up was this dead insect covered
by ants. It was just a quick shot of it after talking to that lady. I
was telling her about my story and how it was a story of letters
to the one I love, explaining why I had to break my promise and
couldn’t be with her, and I started crying a little bit.
I remember I had my hand pinched in some kind of vertical (?).

It was very strange. It was just this lady walking around. She came
to the door and I showed off some of my art and was explaining
different things to her, and I asked her “So what is it exactly that
you’re looking for?” And she explained it to me. So I just kind of
explained myself to her.
I remember going into the alcohol aisle and seeing that black guy
in the store and he was telling me about something.
Later Nanny and Poppop were over and I remember walking up-
stairs and I was huge. So tall. And I said “Whoaaa, I feel so tall
today.” And Poppop was talking about checkers.
I remember showing my art to that woman and sometimes it

seemed like she wanted to move on, but she definitely started ap-
preciating it towards the end and was getting into it.
There was a teacher kind of person. She came over and there were
other people around in that room with me; and my friends. Sit-
1534
ting around on the couches with people. Who are those guys?
There was a really fat one.
Someone was undercover. Anyway, that woman came in and I

had to go. She sat down at a computer at the far end of the room.
Something else popped up like a video that someone had been
on before. And she's like, “Is this a joke?” And I'm like, “I'm so
sorry. No, it's not a joke. It's something that someone was watch-
ing. It won’t interfere again.” So I was just getting everything off
and weird things like that kept happening. “I'm so sorry about
that.” So I was over there trying to make a food impression and
trying to help her out with whatever else she needed. But I was
with these guys. There was something flying around the room. It
felt like August. It felt like the people who were forgotten by the
months of the year. The kids that were forgotten by the teachers.
When I was asking that woman, I asked “What are you looking
for?” and she said “I’m looking for a sad story.”
• Yeah, I’m not getting into all of that stuff... that teletubby stuff in
my hair... stupid kid.
At the end I asked a kid “Do I have a banana swastika on my

head?” And they're like, “What’s a swastika?” So I responded
“Something you kids should not have on your heads!” I had to
figure out if it was on my head while explaining why it shouldn’t
be on theirs.
The guy with the music! That's right. There was that room where
that guy was just playing that music. And I remember when he
turned on his song. I think he was black. Everyone stopped. And
I just remember looking around there's like thirty People just
stopped and staring and they're just like, kind of bobbing their
head. You can tell they're really feeling it. And it wasn't really
original or anything. It was just... it wasn't all, but I was thinking

you know, I was just kind of analyzing him while he was playing.
I don't know who he was. Some guy just walked in the room, sat
down on this bed. And there were a couple of guys there on the
bed and then there were like thirty guys in the rest of the room
or maybe just twenty, just a little room. I made a comment to
him about his music. Just sat there and stared and listened until
it was over. I'm like, “Wow, this guy's commanding some respect.”
Couldn’t have been too old. Only like twenty.
“HEADLESS GENTLEMEN”
05/20/2015 | 8:00 AM
Okay, I was going to this camp thing. And there was this girl who
was like Ally. Then there was this other girl and they kept switch-
ing with each other. I was close to both of them. And I ate soft
serve. And the one girl who kept switching with Ally kept talk-
ing up a storm. There was that guy who was freaking out when
we first got there. And he was like, “You got any medications I
should know about?” I think this was all like I was going in a car
to camp. Someone was in the driveway. This was after Asia and
I were so excited because there was something going on in the
middle of the night. It was like a snowman. Or something really
comfortable on the couch. I don't know. I remember telling that
guy I had a little dissonance in my head. And he started freaking
out “What do you mean?!! I don’t have time for this. I don’t have
time for this.” And he stormed away and I never saw him again.
He got fired, I think.
Yeah, the girls falling at the end was like a dance. I was going
to dancing classes. We had to pick extracurriculars, so I got to
pick. I've been dancing. They said “Do you like dancing?” I’m
like, “Yeah, I injured myself so I'm not sure I'm gonna be doing it
now. But you know, I was into dancing and contortionism, and
stuff like that.”
There were all these headless gentlemen: well-mannered headless

men walking around. And they were leading people to different
places. The first time I saw them I exclaimed “Awww, cooool!”
But then I realized I said that so loud and I just had to get silent
1537
again, because it was not the kind of place where you’re supposed
to be loud, so I just kinda really quickly regained my compo-
sure and kept on walking. But this woman popped up. She wasn't
headless, but she was basically equivalent to the headless gentle-
men. I remember, I was just walking by myself to dance class,
through the halls, kind of guessing where it would be because I
was going past where everyone else was, and she just comes out
of nowhere, and is walking really fast, really fast. I just remember
she went straight ahead of me and then turned to the left, and
started walking down into what looked like this giant skee ball
thing. And she started turning into like a cartoon character or
something as she was walking into it. And then she disappeared
down into it, which was like a dance class. I was like “Oh man
this is cool.” I had to use the bathroom first. But as I was walk-
ing on my way to the bathroom, that’s when I thought I need to
record this so I don’t forget it and that's when I got lucid. I'm like
“oh no.” And so I skipped the bathroom and tried to go down in-
to the dance room and see what I saw. To see what the dancers
looked like, but now I was too distracted by the fact that I was
awake partially to do anything, so I ended up just waking up.
Man, that was crazy, I’m sitting on a plane for so long with Ally
and that other girl and they kept switching with one another,
and I couldn’t figure which one I preferred. I kept comparing
them in my mind.
Yeah, that guy was a jerk though, that one guy, he was creeping
me out, really intimidating me. I was trying to get out of this
place, I didn't want to stay here, so that's when I was gonna make
up some big lie about like, “I need my pills. I need my pills!” I’m
like “I need to go. I don’t belong here.” And he says “You’re not
getting off, we’re all going now.” And I’m like “But my house is
right back there! I need my pills!” And he gets angry “WHAT
PILLS ARE WE TALKING ABOUT HERE!” I was trying to

think of antipsychotics. You know something to freak them out,
make them think okay give this guy his damn pills. But then
when he made his angry face when I said the pills I was like oh
geez this might backfire and he might like just kill me. I mean
not that not that big of a deal but I mean he just seemed like
everything was an inconvenience to him.
Pretty sure that second girl was romantically attracted to me.

Weird car ride. What came before though? I had to climb down
this weird wall to get into the car then I had to climb back up
and I said “I can't get out of this car unless you open this X” there
was this big X thing, like a fly away door or something you need-
ed to pull near the top of the slope which is where the door was,
such as when I came into that but I couldn't leave since there no
opening there, and there was a little baby there, a little kid like a
two year old in a car seat. I couldn't open it because the two year
old was blocking the way. And the people around me are just like
“you could stay at our place, you don’t need to go back.” I got so
upset that they were making me stay.
• Trying to stretch out on this board, but I'm just hallucinating.

Trying to staple it to a board but I have to stretch it out so it's kind
of annoying, it’s a picture of myself but I think it was left out in the
rain accidentally sitting on top of the van, it was like a rolled up
poster tube. Oh what the hell, I’m hallucinating.
When I was sitting there I remember we were given our lists to

look at and there's a bunch of different things to put down as ex-
tracurriculars... Do you know which class you go to... so I picked
a class. Toward the bottom I saw dancing and so I was like “All
right! A dance class!” And all the people around me were sur-
prised thinking “you really want a dance class?”
Those headless guys were cool though. They had suits and ties on
and there was one assigned to each person. I don't know why I
got assigned to a girl though and she just had a mask on, but she
appeared when I was on my way there and she was just walking so
fast. I remember when she showed up and she was walking past
me and kept on walking really fast. I remember observing her.
“CARROT CAKE”
05/20/2015 | 9:33 AM
She has to eat carrots every day of the week... even Saturday...
so she was NOT happy with the carrot cake. Of course I didn't
know all the details until my parents arrived back home. She was
wearing some weird pointing mask on her face. She showed back
up at my house, the girl from an earlier dream, or maybe she
was different, I don’t know. She wasn’t supposed to be here but
she showed up. My parents just showed up with a carrot cake.
They went food shopping, so me and her just went and hung out
around the house. What did we do? Trying to figure out if we
kissed. No, I don't think so. She had a moon shaped head. Or
it was something she was wearing. I remember looking at her at
one point and thinking she is not like the other people she might
go and never come back, she's not allowed to be here. Her par-
ents are not letting her over. And I just remember sitting above
her on the couch. And she was just fooling around with some-
thing. There was a little physical contact. Not much. And some-
times it seemed like she was trying to do this, and if I obliged
she would kinda pull back and act like it was too much for it.
I remember she was also pretty rude to Asia when Asia arrived
home.
Okay. Also in that last dream from this morning, there was that
time when I was with that really, really tall guy standing outside,
it was dark out. And I was on a porch. And we were joking
around about something. And I wanted someone to take a pic-
ture of us. So I made this really silly pose that was really awkward
and they were standing there holding the camera trying to take
a picture of me and this guy. But they were fooling around with
1541
the camera. They didn't know how to use it. They're like, “uhhh”
I'm just standing there. I'm like, “What are you doing?” And
they're just, they're just like, flipping the camera around looking
all the different ways. And I'm like, “What are you doing?!” And
my head was in a really weird position. And it kind of was like
hurting to keep it going. It was hard to keep it going. And so I
don't even think they ever took the picture. They just couldn't
figure it out. I don't know why... They were dumb.
There was a time where I think it was Ally. The part where I was
sitting in those seats with her. And she was like, “I thought of
you when I saw this hoodie.” And then I didn't want to tell her
that I didn't know what was on the hoodie. It looked like some
video game character or something, I’m like “okay, thanks.” But
I didn't know what it was. I didn't want to tell her that I didn't
know what it was. And Questo was in it at one point. I think I
said that already on my camera.
“MY MOTHER’S EXORCISM”
05/21/2015 | 6:10 AM
Having all those people over every day. Trying to give my mom
an exorcism. It wasn't working. And we didn't give up. We were
trying so hard. There were so many other conflicts arising in the
house from her worsening conditions. She was becoming more
and more insane as others were coming over. I didn’t know what
to expect. There were a lot of different celebrities in the dream
and a lot of people who we used to know. Like the inconceiv-
able guy from Princess Bride. He was in the first two meetings.
That was really early though and there were like twenty some-
thing meetings in total. I remember during the last one I asked
Asia if she wanted to go for a walk in the snow and she said no
and I said “What??” Then she gave an explanation and I don’t re-
member what it involved.
I remember when that guy was sleeping on the couch in our liv-
ing room, I knew he wasn’t asleep but I knew he was listening
to us talk, my dad was yelling at us. He was just really irritable.
At the end he told me “Do not affect the exorcism!” And he was
getting mad. not doing this anymore he's getting mad arguments
between me.
• Haaaaah... boogie nights.
I remember when I was fighting with my father I was like “Lis-

ten, something something boogie nights. I’m being whatever
something something.” I was getting really pissed off. He says
“She’ll leave.” And I responded “She wouldn’t last the night!”
1543
And he goes “Try afternoon!” “I’m just talking about if she goes
out at night.” And I remember seeing the guy “sleeping” on the
couch peeking at us.
“ERASE THE SISTER”
05/21/2015 | 8:20 AM
I was with a guy named Vitmus and some kid, along with my fa-
ther. I remember earlier on I was trying to help out. Everyone
wanted wine and I went and opened it in front of the fireplace
and the plastic around the bottle fell into the fire.
• Lynchburg is so white. Lynchburg. All these cookies. All these peo-

ple are cookies.
I was a part of some kind of class or something. Everyone had

their own idea of what it meant to be immortal and what it re-
quired. We were all trying to keep things... non-arrogant, but it
became quite arrogant. I remember driving my mother at the end
to a house...
There was that part with Poppop. He had a history book and
was like “Check it out. I erased one of the sisters.” and he had
erased someone in Nanny’s family from the book. Her head was
gone. And he’s like “What do you think?” I'm like “That’s cool
and artistic, but that's kind of weird that you just did that.” And
I’m just standing there confused.
I remember being on the top level of the mall. My father was be-
low on a different level and he was cleaning up while I was run-
ning around and doing something on the top. Relatively empty
there I think. A shoe store might have been involved.
1545
“I THOUGHT YOU WERE AN
ALIEN”
05/21/2015 | 9:58 AM
I was being chased by an alien kid. I was staying at this house. I

was looking all over for a place to stay and I found this woman
who allowed me to stay at her house. No, wait. It was Kenny's
house. I remember them saying that Kenny’s gonna be breaking
up with his girlfriend at 10 in the morning so meet me up then.
He wasn’t awake, though, when I arrived, so I just ended sitting
around doing whatever, not knowing what to do because it was
only 3 AM and Kenny was gonna be asleep for the next seven
hours and then have to break up with his girlfriend. So I guess it
was mother who I talked to for a while. Then the next day, this
weird kid... he was vibrating and acting weird. I thought he was
an alien so I freaked out. I think I did something like punch it
or something, but then he tried to kill me. I had to get him to
stop. Then I had to run down the street into this far off play-
ground, and I was hiding all these places and he still found me
when he came over with a sword. My hands were stuck on some-
thing when he came so I couldn't move and I’m like: “I don't have
a sword. I don’t have a shield. All I have is an apology. I thought
you were an alien.” And he responds indignantly, “I STUDY
aliens. I’m not an alien.” “You don’t seem to take that as a com-
pliment.” “No I don’t!” Then I casually said “Well I’m an alien.”
And apparently I really was an alien in the dream. And so I just
thought that he was one too. He was a weird kid, going around
making these undulating movements.
1546
“HOSTAGE BOY”
05/22/2015 | 10:10 AM
Florentin and I were making our way across the country or wher-
ever and we held that boy hostage. I put him in a stranglehold
and that was just weird. I was sitting there holding two of his
hands at once behind his back and he was crying because he
couldn't talk to his mom.
“I need to call my mom.”
“I'm like I'm sorry I can't let you do that.”
And he just kept crying. But every time he would get loose he
would just try to attack me. And Florentin was just sitting down
at my side holding down his legs or something to keep him from
kicking. Weird dream.
I remember driving down the street outside of Nanny and Pop-

pop’s house. I just remember my dad coming to get me. I think
my father and I got into a huge fight.
When I was strangling that kid I was just thinking “This is awful.
I don’t like doing this.” What were we trying to accomplish?
1547
“LOCK YOU IN THE RIVER”
05/23/2015 | 7:43 AM
Sompastas... sompastas... she’ll go everywhere in the United

States except Ohio, Illinois and one other place. Maybe Texas.
This was when my girlfriend was deciding... She was deciding to
go to college. She was really excited: “I’m gonna go to college and
I’m gonna do this for us and it’s all gonna work out!” This is after
she tried to kill me and blow me up and her sister turned on all
the lights in the building and said “What are you doing to him?”
I was covered head to toe in blood and I don't even know what
was happening.
That was freaky. She followed me back to the stairs in my house

and I remember we were sitting there and my dad was talking to
us, “So did you guys go to see the college?” And I remember this
was all deja vu, like I remember answering all of this before. I re-
member looking at all the stairs while I was talking to him I'm
like “Oh man, it's just like last time. All the steps are painted with
the stupid things I said in response to his question.” It was just
like a bunch of stutters and things like “We saw this, we saw that,
we saw this, we saw that.” Most things were repeated twice.
I also remember I didn’t get any blood on my bookshelf. And it’s

good it wasn’t on my CD shelf. But then again it couldn’t pos-
sibly have been on my CD shelf because my CD shelf has been
tucked away for the whole event, so that’s lucky. Her sister came
in and said “You know this light can go brighter, right? You're
not trying to see him. You’re trying to kill him.”
1548
It was such a sad scene when she flipped out on me because I

didn't do anything wrong and I was handling myself so well. I
just responded with “Okay, why did you do all that? Did you get
it all out of your system now?” It was just a very dramatic mo-
ment but she thought I’d never want to talk to her again. Then I
took her by the shoulders and was like come on. And she start-
ed crying. That’s when we walked outside and she said “I’m go-
ing to college in these states and we’re going to do this and this
and then we can move out here and do this.” She planned out her
whole future, trying to show me how things wouldn’t stay like
this and would keep improving for us and she would work hard-
er at it from now on.
• Did you hear what they said? They said celebrities have depres-
sion. They’re waiting on Panama, or they’re waiting on a headshot.
They’re waiting on you, man.
• They were talking about the comma, but I also highly recommend
the punctuation... what was it... it wasn’t the period. But I highly
recommend the comma, even though I came back in the room after
using it. She was already asleep, and it sucked. And the TV was
turned on, wasn’t it.
“SMIT THE PROGRESSIVE
WITCHES”
05/23/2015 | 9:04 AM
*(out of order) Honestly cannot try to lock you in a river... but
I... I don’t know what he said... “Honestly! Try! To! Lock! You!
In! A! Rivaaahhh!” Something like that. I was so damaged and
destroyed by what people had done to me... like girls, what they
had done to me throughout this dream. I went out driving at one
point because I was so... I was really trying to get people to be-
lieve in my approach to different things. I remember stuff about
the White Combs in my dream. This is a bit earlier.
I was gonna try to... louder horns... with louder horns, to peo-
ple... without louder horns. Sounded like a good idea at the time.
The brown hair... as long as it’s gray it can be eaten by the pre-
vious people who attempted to come and slay and do this kinda
stuff... hair, hair, hair in the wild.
They were very surprised when I sat down ahead of them, be-
cause they thought I was gonna run away, but I didn’t. I was just
covered in shit and filth and mud and blood. I don’t know, I
thought it was pretty romantic.
I remember jamming to Heatwave in my dream. I had that play-

ing. I also had something come to mind that was like this weird
distinction being made between passion and something else and
I forget and it was so interesting. I kept saying it to myself but I
had to delete stuff on my camera before I could get back to it and
I didn’t.
1550
“We can get together and smit the progressive witches because
these three things that they do about something...” I don’t know.
The first dream I had was watching movies with Asia in the mid-
dle of the night and we were enjoying it.
“SOFT SERVE”
05/24/2015 | 8:22 AM
I was in a soft serve kind of place, or a little shop like a coffee

shop. It was attached to my building. Like on the second storey.
I remember looking up and seeing it. I was at Pine Hill. I remem-
ber being with that girl who might be the one I was confusing
with Ally earlier, my parents were ... alternatingly they're trying
to bite us and claw us or something like that. And so we tried
to escape from them, so we ran through the woods and found
this weird little area and I just remember us lying there and we
would let each other go to sleep while watching out for them. So
I would let her go to sleep and keep watch, and then she would
have a turn.
1552
“THE CIRCLE”
05/25/2015 | 7:11 AM
Me and that girl walking up in that circle area, going higher to

sky, and as we're passing by we're seeing these girls inside of the
circle and they’re like “There’s nothing to look at,” and as it went
on they got naked and I remember the girl I was with, who was
kind of worried about being with me, or worried of my judg-
ment, then I was just like let’s just get it over with, and I pre-
tended... It wasn’t real, I had my pants on, but I kind of humped
them a little bit like a dog. But then the phone started ringing in
a weird way and we couldn’t tell whose phone it was. It sounded
creepy. They asked “who is this! That sounds very slow” it could
be my fathers but it sounds very slower.and then at the far end of
the platform appears her sister, and she’s yelling “You awful girl!”
The girl I was with was her little sister. And I’m like “Nothing
happened!” And then I see a shadow of a man, and he hasn't yet
been introduced in my dreams, but as he's walking up I’m like
“Well, now that I'm staying with the something something of Sa-
tan...” and it shows this guy standing there this really creepy guy,
“I have a request. I’d like to be turned into sexual toys, as long as
I’m gonna be staying with something something.” I don’t know.
It was so bizarre.
I remember I kept wondering if I should write in my autobiogra-

phy.
Yeah, now he’s just asking for a favor in return, like just to buy
him pickles... not pickles... carrots whenever he goes out. He’s
1553
like “I don’t ask for very much. I just want these ones.” What did
I just say?
I remember looking in the mirror thinking how much I really

wanted to sing but I couldn't. I’m like “I wonder if I could just
hum. I wonder if I could get away with that.” And then I told
myself “No. It could ruin me forever.”
I remember hiding this Satanic CD in the wall, but then trying

to dig it out and trying to grab it really quick, to run off in the
other room, put it in a different wall or ground where I was dig-
ging, to activate something because it was some kind of satanic
thing, but then I looked down on my hand and I had a burned
copy of The Room of Burglaryable Spirit and I’m like “What the
hell?! How did that get in my hand?!” It was pretty funny.
• Someone put fucking Fritos in the bathroom, a bowl or something

on the toilet. So my friend goes to the bathroom and he‘s sitting there
crunching on them. And I’m like what the hell and I go in and take
a few for myself and I’m like “This is disgusting that they did this.
Why did they do this?” And someone was explaining “Some people
just do this. It’s all a matter of preference. Some people like them out
there. Some people like them here. Some people put them here for
the guests, maybe just for the sounds they make.”
• I’m like “Christian, dude! Where have you been?”
“I’ve been here all along, man! I was looking for something sexual!”
And then he jumps out in front of me.
There was also the part where me and my father were walking
around this neighborhood. We're driving through neighbor-
hoods. And I asked “Where are we going?” And I forget his re-
sponse, but we went through this part that circled right back
around to where we were. It was a weird little development.
And there were three kids playing Britney Spears outside of their
house. It was “Unusual You.” “
I also remember something weird with Poppop. When the

dream started I was at my house and Inwas being yelled at for
something. I wouldn't come out of my room to pay for some-
thing. There was something that I was supposed to do but I
wasn’t doing it but I didn't see why I was supposed to do it and I
felt like I had been tricked into doing it. So I remember my father
yelling at me through my door. Then he brought Poppop over
and he was saying stuff through my door, implying he would help
me out financially. “You know, I wish I didn’t have to... if only he
would have helped out...” just saying things to guilt me. Not in a
mean way, but still.
Later on I remember seeing a slideshow of a bunch of things, a

bunch of people, and I thought it was all Poppop, doing stuff in
his younger years, but only the first two pictures were of him, and
some near the end, but all of the other stuff was some other guy
and I confused them at first.
I remember when I went to get that Satanic CD or something

from underneath the floor I remember I was with my father but
he was not acting like my father, he was acting like a brutish
monster and I had to race him. I think my mother was too. She
was a brutish monster. I had to race them to dig it out. And the
man said “What are you doing?” I lied, I forget what I said. It
was kinda high stakes though. That's why I grabbed the wrong
CD because I was moving so quickly so that’s why I grabbed Bur-
glaryable Spirit.
• Jeez, they really offered some good deals here. Between 19 cents
and 21 cents for a (?) from a kid working at a stand in the middle
of the whatever-the-fuck-who-knows-where... not bad.
(Illegible)
“DEFLATION”
05/29/2015 | 7:32 AM
I was just walking through the mall and then went to the post of-
fice and decided to get a t-shirt. I don't know why. And so there
were like two different bags featuring designs, and I asked “Hey
do you guys got a t-shirt?” And I had to speak through like a win-
dow or something, because they didn’t just let you walk. Then
they said “Yeah, what size?” And I paused for a minute, “Uhh-
hhh... orange! No, oops, I mean Large!” And then I saw them
pulling the shirts out and I thought they were kinda cool.
What was my sister doing... I wanted to go crawl into the un-

derground, and there was something weird that she was doing.
My mother was screaming at both of us. Iremember crawling
through this weird interdimensional crawl space and Asia was
building across the street and I crawled my way over there.
After looking through the shirts for a while there was this a black
guy that came in and wanted a shirt, but we were like “Oh I’d like
this instead of this one!” And I’m like “Aw man, I never looked at
the other shirt really. They just kind of picked for me which one
they thought I meant.” One was heather gray and one was or-
ange. The orange design was pretty cool but I think I picked the
gray one initially. And so then I was like “Can I get it changed to
this one?” I went looking around the shop for a little bit.
I don’t recall how this transitioned into the final scene. The
dream ended when I got deflated by a guy with a needle. That
was really really fucking creepy. He stabbed me, punctured me. I
was paralyzed and obviously I was dying, but it was taking a few
minutes to take full effect and in that time all my senses were fad-
1557
ing. It was truly creepy because I was still able to crawl around a
tiny bit, but my movement was severely limited. I remember say-
ing “I care about you, I care about you, and I care about you,” to
different people while crawling around the floor by my hands be-
cause I couldn’t use my legs, but I don’t think anyone could even
hear me talking because I had already been stabbed at that point.
• Some gross, stinkboy crap. What keeps going on in my head? Some

gross, stinkboy crap. I’ve been hearing it in my head for the last two
minutes.
I was crawling on my hands and knees through these under-

ground tunnels for quite some time while trying to access differ-
ent locations.
• I was just standing in the road talking nonsense.
• George smoked all father’s cigarettes? There’s gonna be fucking hell

to pay. So ridiculous. Unbelievable. Now go away.
• Okay, that’s what we win. We get to keep the claw and the contro-
versial arm is ours.
• Ahh, it’s taking forever and I think it's about to break. Wait, what
was that that I'm doing? Union of the Snake?
• I was trying to figure out if that stuff was staged.
• I don’t know what happened, but I just started mutating. That

guy used to be on my side but then he turned against me. He used
his little wand thing.
• Ahh, gold! It’s really tacky. I was getting pains from that woman.
She shot me with some jewelry that wasn’t for myself. Then I had it
on at the end and I don’t know what I was doing.
• When I first connected with the boob (?) it looked like the bicycle
attached to the sun, like the symbol of Sol, as used in alchemy. It
wasn’t both pedals, just one of them.
• “Yeah, if you’re asking for my pizza, I'll give you like two pieces
but no more than that. It’s been refrigerated previously, so they’re
cold. I’d do more if I could, but that’s just how much I do.” That’s
what he was telling me at the end of the dream. I don’t know that
guy. Just unsatisfied. I think he just wanted me gone and was sick of
my personality. Like a golden ticket, haaaah.
“BREAK-IN”
06/01/2015 | 1:01 AM
I was out in this weird forest area near a gas station and it was
just a bunch of woods. It was like a skate park looking place. I
remember running through the woods into the grass in the dark
trying to scare people. I was with Asia at first, we were walking
in the woods and I think I saw like this Asian girl... I'd proba-
bly estimate like early twenties. And I was running after trying
to freak out. Don’t remember what became of that. There was
this long thing about me being in the Pine Hill House and there
were many other people. And on the front deck, okay, say you're
inside the house on the right of the door... to the right of the
door outside. So it'd be on the left side of the deck but to the
right of the door after you leave the house. There was something
there like a giant... I don't know what it was. It just landed there.
And it started trying to break into the house, and I was keep-
ing the door sealed and I forget how. I don't think it was just
through strength, but I had to do some kind of thing to keep it...
something mental was required. Then after a while I remember
it breaking in and I think I tried to negotiate with it while it was
out on the deck when I was talking to it through the door, but it
didn't really work even though it was able to converse with me.
It was gigantic. I don't know what it was. Then when it broke in I
went running into my bedroom. There were a bunch of people in
the house and they all went running to some other place. I went
into my own bedroom climbed up into my bunk bed laying just
lying on my stomach with my head down against the... I was like
in the very crack between the bed and the wall, just laying there
1560
with my head down pressed against a mattress and my hands over

my head, and I knew it was going to come into the house and it
was gonna come. I wasn't really scared. I just wanted this to be
the spot where I was when it found me. Yeah, I wasn't that scared
because I kind of knew I'd get the chance to do it again, and after
it got me, I don’t remember the details of that. I just remember
like it was getting close. There was just some rumbling and stuff
and then I guess I started over and the whole thing happened
again.
“THE NAME”
06/01/2015 | 8:06 AM
I had woken up after a very very insufficient sleep. I was tired. I

remember being upstairs for a little while. I did something out-
doors, maybe in the car. I came in, sat on Facebook, was typing
some letters and the algorithm brought a certain girl up and I
panicked. Well, it brought up several people with the same first
name, but what worried me is that some girl I used to date had
gotten married (not a girl that I dated in real life) and it looked
like her surname was changed, although it more so looked to be
the case that she had taken the name of her boyfriend. Then I
went back upstairs, and I came back downstairs and went back
on the computer just to really check, because I wasn't courageous
enough before to see if it was who I thought it was. I just remem-
ber the way my heart was beating, and I remember sitting there
thinking to myself “What am I expecting? What’s going to hap-
pen? Are we going to try to get together? What do I say now af-
ter it’s been so long?” So I had these comments in my mind, like
“Oh man, I just died three times. What’s up?” Like pseudo-fun-
ny greetings.
I remember thinking to myself “If I don't agree with this... if I

can't handle this, should I respect it?” And I was thinking things
like that. I'm thinking “I can't believe I am... I can't believe af-
ter all this time I've put off doing this, that I’m actually doing
it right now at the beginning of my day after I’ve gotten insuffi-
cient sleep, and I’m gonna fuck myself up.” I was supposed to go
back to bed in a few minutes and I knew I wouldn’t be able to
sleep. So I went outside and there was a limo in the street. And
1562
I went and just sat in the back of a limo outside for a while just
thinking about it. And I think I moved to the front of the limo
after a while and just sat there. At first I was just like in the back
and then I moved up to the passenger seat. I think I was eating
or something and just sitting there thinking, and everyone in my
family was wondering what I was doing because I was acting kind
of strange.
“ROCKY”
06/04/2015 | 8:05 AM
I got in a spat with Rocky and some other kid outside of the Lon-
donberry house and I got really mad at something that occurred
at the other place and didn’t speak to him for like two hours. I
went outside and his friends insulted me and I freaked out on
him. They started pointing at me and were like “Shit man, you’re
turning into the Hulk and you sound like Gollum. Chill!” Your
name is like a zombie man. Whatever you get from that it's just
the guy's a Japanese guy in his hands and just kind of in a play-
ful way and then said that and then just walk when the Japanese
meant like kind of like what baffled just looking to extend an air-
port or something it's just trying to like compliment him
• “Your name is like a zombie, man...” That’s what that guy said to
the Japanese man. He came over and cupped his ears with his hands
and said that in a playful way, and the Japanese man just looked
baffled. “What?” Then the other guy walked away. He was just try-
ing to compliment him. They were in an airport.
When I was freaking out earlier... for some reason they said
“Yeah, well it’s not like we’ve ever killed anybody,” and I said “I
have!” And the face and the face and the voice I did when I said
that was so sinister. I went walking back in the house and they
took off, they ran like hell out of that property.
Early on, Rocky, me and my parents were on a road trip. That’s

where we got into a spat.
1564
• Revs? It’s like this grease you put on someone’s face and then they
look a certain way. It looked like something happened to them, and
I was doing it on Facebook. I was doing it on my face. There were
two different oils. One was dirty and one was political. That doesn’t
make any sense.
• Flashes that photograph of a flower. That last image. I think that's

what made me get out of that taxi and start walking on my own.
I don't remember what happened but I feel like there were two
girls and I was trying to get away from them for some reason
they were annoying me. I don't know. I remember kicking them
or something. I don't remember much of that at all, though. It
would have been really early like maybe another dream before all
these other ones. I remember when me and Rocky... the whole
fight started when I said something and he had a very... I asked
him if he wanted to stay longer. I think that was it. He was talk-
ing about going home. I just asked him something like “Do you
want to stay longer?” and he just had a “NO!” kind of weird re-
sponse like that I mean, I guess he just thought the answer was
obvious due to something that he had to do, but I asked him be-
fore, I guess before the team happened, I'm like “I asked you be-
fore to never take that tone with me again and acting like I'm
stupid or wrong or for just innocently asking you a question like
that.” That’s how everything started. I remember being in the
house too. I was looking for a light bulb. Or he was, and I said I
could go get one from the house but he said don't worry about it.
I went and looked anyway when he didn't know I was looking. I
started taking the light bulb out of something else that I needed
just to give it to him, but I never gave it to him, I don’t think, be-
cause I think we just kind of got in a fight when I went outside
and that other guy was there.
They just freaked out and took off after my killed a man line.
They were just like okaaaaaay they just did not even want to
question if that was true or not and just took off.
“RUNNING THE SHOP”
06/05/2015 | 10:15 AM
I was with Haley in some shop. I think we were helping run it. It
was some kind of shop in the mall.
My mom had posted all those pictures of Bob Saget or his head
on different bodies.
1567
“WIPE OUT”
06/06/2015 | 10:25 AM
I remember driving around with my dad. There was also that guy
who kept hurting me. He kept putting stuff in my mouth. He
kept like, what was it? He kept poking something in my mouth
and in my tongue and I finally alerted people to what he had
been doing and he got in serious trouble. Like put in prison. He
was a jerk. He would stick these toothpicks under my tongue like
200 times.
Driving around with my father in the middle of the night. Al-

most got hit by a crazy truck trailer swinging. it flew by us. It was
traveling the same direction as us but it flew by us and it was re-
ally skinny. Then something else almost wiped us out. This road
was just really messy. Ended up on the side of the road.
1568
“THIS IS CHAOS”
06/08/2015 | 10:22 AM
We ended up on the side of the road. I was driving around, drove

out of the mall parking lot, drove around that area, then went off
a bank into the water. We're sinking really deep, really fast, so it's
just me and my dad so we’re like “This is it, this is chaos.” And
he’s like “what's chaos is the next time you come back to your
dreams I’ll still be walking around and you’ll be like ‘whoa hey!’”
And I remember pulling out a red pen from the dashboard but
then I was like nevermind, and he asked “what?” “I was gonna
tell you to tell Anita, but then I realized you don't have to, be-
cause this is not going to take. this is not forever. So yeah, don't
even say anything.” I was gonna write down her address. I re-
member seeing Tyler and his family in the store earlier. I wasn't
wearing makeup and so it freaked me out when I walked by be-
cause I realized that I wasn't Dean. So I had to be nice because I
was being me.
I was like oh heyyyy so l I jumped around and that was after I

hung out in the toy aisles for a really long time, looking for some
figurine.
That was so creepy going down, down into the ocean with the
van. This was in the mall parking lot. Jumped in the car, almost
scraped the door of the car next to me when I opened my door.
I was in charge of driving us today. So I jumped in. I started dri-

ving. And I almost hit several cars on my way out of the parking
lot. My father was like “check this out over here”
1569
Then he says never mind it’s a dead end. I hit the gas instead of
the brake and flew off the little bank and it was terrible.
I just remember sitting down on the couch. And K was next to

me. And she fell asleep. And she's leaning her head against me
slightly, and I started falling asleep too. And I'm just like, this is
weird. We are all crammed on the couch. And I remember drift-
ing off and having really crazy hypnagogic hallucinations. Then
I woke up and she was still leaning against me while her parents
were sitting directly across from us. They were pissed. They were
like, “Did you just fall asleep... next to our daughter?” And the
way they said it was just really strange. I’m like “no, but I had
some crazy hypnagogic hallucinations.” And they just had this
whole talk with me. It was really uncomfortable. Then she woke
up, and she asked “Did I just do the same thing you did to me
last time?” I forget what she was referring to, but apparently this
happened before. She woke up and was really tired. Her voice
sounded weird too, kinda boyish.
“IN THE BOOKSTORE”
06/10/2015 | 9:21 AM
There was the past where the guy threatened me in that store. He
was the guy with the girl, and she and I had made out in the store.
It was Rocky’s bookstore and it was like five in the morning. I
didn’t know it until I got home. I expected him to come back af-
ter work. So I was waiting from there. Which was supposed to be
about 11 or something. I had no idea it was so late. The lights in
the building were just like blue Christmas lights, really faint. I re-
member she came walking in and looked at the building. Just like
looking curious to see if we’re open. Just came over. So I opened
the door for her. And it was just her by herself.
“I’m looking for a (something) book.”
“A what?”
She said it again, kind of annoyed, “A (something) book?”
And I go “Huh?”
And she said it again, and I went “Ooooh, okay.” But I had no
idea what she said, still. So I took her around looking. It was a
book on some kind of crazy spider bites. spider venom. But af-
ter a while she’s just like “Ehhh, nahh, I think I’ll just have some
Chef Boyardee,” and then she ate some soup or something.
But then I realized someone else was in the store who I didn't
know was there. It was this little guy. He was standing on my
other side. I guess I said something that insulted him, and he
1571
pulled out a knife and tried to stab me. I forget what I did, but I
knocked him out. So he was unconscious for like a half hour or
an hour, because I knocked him out. Then when he woke up he's
kind of embarrassed. Looks like he would go at it again but end-
ed up just leaving.
The girl and I, later, we kissed. She was getting ready to leave and
we were like why not. But I remember it being one of those kiss-
es where you wish you would have ended it just a little bit soon-
er, because that would have left off on a perfect note, instead of a
weird note... or a weird... noise. This one ended up on a weird...
noise.
But then I got home and realized it was after 5 AM and I'm like
what the fuck, where is Rocky.
Broke into some other building. A casino?

“DOLL-PART SCENERY”
06/29/2015
IDIOTS/SCENERY MADE OF DOLL PARTS.
HOODIE.
GIRL IN UNDERWEAR.
1573
“CLOAK”
08/24/2015
There was a girl sleeping over my house in the other room. It was
Londonberry. I don't remember seeing her, but it was early in the
morning and I was super tired, and I thought I should get a lit-
tle more rest before she comes out so that I didn't feel tired and
delirious when she was up.
Then there was the part where I was working in a kitchen with
AC. He was washing dishes, and I was walking around the place
doing little odd jobs for an event. I went into the kitchen and
turned on some music and we were goofing off. Then he called
Ben, and I thought that it was weird that they knew each other.
Later on I was in the church group and I was sitting there all
creepy and silent with long hair and possibly a cloak-ish outfit.
The black woman next to me was sitting on the arm of the couch
and was looking at my hair and making comments about it. Peo-
ple in the group were a little intimidated by my presence and
quietness, so I got up and left. The young black woman followed
me out into the foyer and struck up a conversation before I left
and we conversed for a while.
1574
“THE DEATH OF MY MOTHER”
08/27/2015
I was walking around the deck outside this house. There was a
high deck and a lower deck. I remember going up to the one
with all the adults hanging out on it. PH was standing around
and asked about my jacket, so he came over and we talked, and
then another one of him appeared... and I freaked out... WHAT?
and everyone else just acted like "What are you freaking out for?
Everyone knows about this.” Apparently he did that all the time.
Two of himself. He could make a second self appear.
Later on I went into the kitchen late at night and my father was
in extreme emotional turmoil, as in he kept trying to speak but
then would cover his mouth. I walked over, and he said some-
thing like "You know... remember when your mother asked you
to ——... Well, you don’t need to do that anymore," ... "What? ...
What happened?" It was extremely realistic and jarring, the way
he was acting. Then he explained that she had been taken away
and put on life support in an emergency unit or something (I
don’t know why) but that it was no use and she died. It was a
really shocking moment, and difficult seeing my dad that way.
Then my mind raced, and I wondered “What are we going to do
now that it’s just the two of us? And I didn’t even remember the
last thing I said to my mother, so it was extremely weird know-
ing that this all happened when I wasn't around and that there
was no ‘closure’. But the front door was open, and then I could
see what looked like my mother walking by. It was obvious to us
both that she wasn’t my ‘mother’ but a ghost of sorts, and she
looks at me and gets huffy and pissed right away and mocks the
way my face looks with my open mouth, saying "THAT’S IT?
1575
That’s all you have to say? Just stand there with your mouth like
that?" And I got pissed off and said “People react to things in dif-
ferent ways, you know." Then she continued to make comments
and completely ruined the somberness of the scene.
“PARTY PHOTOGRAPHY”
08/18/2015
Photographs with that guy who loved my weird bulky black eye-
wear when he passed me while I was leaning against the counter.
He passed by with a group of friends. He was about 5'8", skinny,
hispanic. "You're my hero!" he said and he shook my hand while
laughing. I go "Oh yeah? Let's take a picture!" I suggested it, but
then I looked around for a camera... I saw Jeiezza standing in
the other room, so I said "She could take a picture," but then
when I walked over to her I passed by a mirror and noticed my
hair extensions were slipping off on the left side...so I ran to the
bathroom to fix them... and I realized my lip rings weren't in...
at first I thought "OH NO, I LEFT THE RINGS ALL OVER
THE KITCHEN SINK COUNTER," but then I realized those
weren't my rings, they were other peoples jewelry or pieces to the
shower... so then I went and found my lip rings. It took me way
too long to get fixed up.by the time I went back out most of the
people in the party had gone... and that sucked because before
the guy came up to me I was trying to think up how I could go
say hi to my ex-girlfriend outside after many years. After a few
minutes I walked by and Jeiezza said "That guy's outside now." So
I went outside and he and about four or five others were on the
deck. He was on his back up on top of the table, staring at the
sky. We took a bunch of silly pictures... I suspected he was gay,
and then I figured he might take me for that too, since before
he approached me I was singing britney spears and doing weird
spins on the floor (then I started to worry because I was singing
songs they weren’t her hits and people would know I knew more
than her hit singles... meaning that they would know I actually
owned and listened to her albums hahah)
1577
There was that dark guy that barged into me and said excuse me
before he did it when he was coming into the door
he glared at me, and I made a comment about how that was un-
acceptable
he got up in my face and looked like he was preparing to put his

hand around my neck
I think I made another comment
then when he went in I was going to seek police reinforcement
someone else came by and asked about what just happened and
why I started threatening legal things
At the end of the dream I was sitting on the couch exhausted,

and next to me was a girl who was obviously knocked out on
some type of drugs...very dopey. I asked her what she's on, she
said "Heroin," with a sigh. And I tried to make conversation but
she kept phasing in and out of consciousness. “It's been a long
life, huh?" And she didn't answer.
About a minute later "Did you say something?"
“Yeah, I asked if it's been a long life huh?"
And she didn't seem to get the point I was saying.
And she started talking about her mother or grandmother.
Gun pocket. Then hidden under the cabinet. He (my father)

messed up my room twice. Rearranged it. Got rid of the car
room while I was out of the house, so I almost shot him. I re-
member he walked in while I was hugging my girlfriend. We got
into a loud fight and I almost broke a game disc. He freaked out
and went and checked if it still worked.
Something took place in the backseat of the car?

“CHASE SCENES”
08/17/2015 | 9:03 AM
I took the neighbor’s computer chair. Ixe cream truck chase
down the street after getting ready. Chased by that dog across
several lawns, it followed me back to my New Jersey house. I
thought about masturbating for a while, wondering if I should,
even though it’s been hurting lately.
1580
“NEW FRIENDS”
11/13/2015 | 11:00 AM
Arrived at this path in the woods. It was all cleared out. Well,
more like a dirt road surrounded by trees. I was talking to these
people and they didn’t seem very kind, but then this girl gets out
of a car just a few feet away and says something to me, as though
we were already friends, but I didn’t recognize her, and I thought
"Oh cool, a new face!" and this guy in a car next to her gets out
and walks over to us "Hey guys!"
“Hey.”
So we're all just talking amongst ourselves. I remember I was

wearing a metal shirt. It was a long-sleeve black metal shirt or
something. What we were all doing this day was running or rid-
ing on bikes or something along the path. I remember joking that
I was wearing that guy’s shirt so when I got sweaty he would
feel it, or something weird like that. Like a weird connection be-
tween us. Eventually the girl and guy took off ahead and that
kind of annoyed me because I felt like they were my new friends,
and they kind of were, but I still wasn’t able to keep up with them
during the race. There was that black cat that kept showing up
over and over again in the dream. And then I remember while
sitting at the finish line (I never actually crossed the finish line,
I remember seeing my score card from my overall performance
from this week of events, and I had like 39 events completed
successfully or something. Unfortunately this race wasn’t one of
them). But while sitting near the finish line, it was a beachy area.
I was just sitting there, it was all sunny, and the cat just walked up
behind me.
1581
——
Unfortunately, the loss of my voice in 2015 led to a dramatic de-

crease in motivation when it came to doing my dream journals,
since I always recorded my dream recall on a voice recorder while
in bed, since it was so much less demanding than writing it all
down... which is why this document is such a hideous and disorga-
nized mess, since it is a direct transcription of me laying half-asleep
in bed trying to remember my dreams. I recorded my dreams spo-
radically thereafter, but not until 2019 did I pick it back up as a
daily habit, since it became difficult to type everything out, especial-
ly after my hand injury. A lot of my dreams were never transcribed
and are still on my voice recorder/camera, and I don’t know if I’ll
get the opportunity to transcribe them, which is unfortunate since
a lot of the most memorable ones haven’t yet been written out. In
2015/2016 I also went from four periods of sleep in a day to just
two, which also decreased the opportunities for dreaming.
“POPPING”
01/08/2016
Lamen laboratory, K's name... She had an opera singer as a pic-
ture. I left the comment saying “ohhh duhhhh" on her main
page... though I meant to on her picture... and then I checked
my inbox and saw one from her and her username was not lamen
laboratory but lamen ass or something like that.
Then there was me and my mother driving down the road near
an intersection and she didn't like the way the intersection felt so
she drove back to wait for the other people to be gone
Then we got stuck after crashing into this barn thing. at least I
think that was here n there.
Then there was that part where she was like being a vampire and
doing that horrible thing to my head.
Was that the part where I set off some loud popping noise near
her in my bedroom which freaked her out, so she came over and
did something extremely vampiric and violent to me?
Then I remember being in the living room later on... and my dad
answered the door, and my mom was standing on the deck cry-
ing trying to come back...
we had kicked her out. and she saw me, and she was trying to get
me to answer her, and I wouldn't... and she was whining.
* (A WRECK OF CAT CLAWS)
1584
“TRAIN”
01/14/2016
Had a dream that I was driving on the train tracks. Well, I was
the passenger. And I kept looking behind to see if a train was
coming. I noticed one in the distance behind, so I told the driver
to speed up. We ended up colliding head first with another train
as we sped forward. It was very strange because there was a long
and drawn out death sequence where everything was frozen and
suspended and all the particles were kind of just melting.
1585
“WENDYS”
01/20/2016
Went to Wendy’s or something. sitting in the parking lot lis-
tening to my music on a tape recorder. Then the lights outside
the building went off. I went outside since it seemed like no
one was around. went into the building, and it was dad and this
lawyer guy who looked like Donny from Frasier sitting around.
I thought my father was just going to get something to eat since
in the beginning we were just out for a drive. It was awkward
when I walked in. little bits of small talk. I couldn't figure out if
dad was filing for bankruptcy or divorce. It seemed like divorce
though. I remember the guy started talking to me about what I
thought caused my sleeping disorder (the sleeping schedule was
mentioned for some reason or another prior, like, when I walked
in the building, *)
Hung around for a while, just sitting around, playing on the

computer or talking. I was in the back room doing something,
playing Pokémon. Then the next customer came in, a girl, she
was blonde. had a really weird long name, was very extroverted,
artistic and excitable/eccentric. thin. She had a long black coat
like the cotton ones mom had, the double breasted kind.
I remember it was weird when she walked in, and was standing at
the door. my father and I were standing there, and she was look-
ing more at him than me. so she went to shake his hand, then
my hand, and I remember introducing myself, saying "I'm Ten-
don" in what I thought was a very frail sounding voice (since I'm
not used to talking right now, most of my dreams have this frail
voice) and for a second I wondered if I should have done that
1586
or given her a fake name instead. Then I said "This is my father",

pointing out that he was old in an inconspicuous way.
My fathers appointment with the guy wasnt over so they still had
some things to discuss.
The girl was the next appointment in line, but until then we
talked and stuff. We went to a backroom together to find some-
thing.
There was one part where we definitely started getting a little

sensual. But then I said something which seemed to offend her,
and she drew it to my attention, but I asked her to clarify, saying
that I didn't mean to say anything to bother her, and I don't be-
lieve she ever explained it.
She seemed irritated and made a comment about me, like "I can't
tell if you're slimy. You seem kind of slimy... but in an asexual
way." And when she said that I got excited and said "You could
tell!?!??! You could tell I'm asexual???!" And she didn't seem to
know what I was saying, meaning that she wasn’t talking about
the same thing I was. By slimy she was meaning "snakey" or "con-
niving", like I was putting on an act of some sort.
At the end I was stepping along these long wooden stairs (like
the kind at the calvary chapel) and there were caterpillars all over
them. So I was running down the stairs all crooked and weav-
ing trying not to step on them. At that point for some reason
my sister was with my father and I, but they were behind... I was
running down faster. I ran too far and ended up stuck in a trash
pile from which I couldn't climb out. They went around the oth-
er way and made it to the car, but they just stood around waiting
for me, but I couldn’t get up, because there was nothing stable to
climb onto.
Had her write down her name on some organizer.

“THE REUNION”
01/26/2016
At the end I was reading that biography by that guy from a band.
The book was called ‘The Reunion’. I thought it was about the
band but it was an autobiography. But it was so ridiculously de-
tailed and it was often boring. just weird. The first several chap-
ters were pictures of child memories. It started off with him
growing up being taught how to rap but being unable to do it
right and getting mocked for his mistakes. And then watching
a sitcom and how it was ‘trussed’ or ‘tussed'... and then a whole
page filled with still shot from a butter spread commercial or
something, where it shows some month fixing her son an eng-
lish muffin ors something with a little butter on it, then he takes
a bite, and so the guy says "I love the kids face," it was just a
weird expression he was making. and then he compared his face
to himself. The dream had more to it than that but all I remem-
ber is the final minutes. earlier on in the dream I was listening to
this guy's music though. but then when I got the book I had to
wonder why I got the book since they really weren't that good/
interesting as a band.
1589
“IS THAT FAIR”
01/28/2016 | 6:46 AM
Got all dressed up and went walking through this neighborhood
in the dark, acting kinda sneaky. Dog spotted me, started bark-
ing, the owner spotted me, then I was being chased or called out
too. I was being taken for a gang member because of my out-
fit and all the patches. So I ran through one of the backyards
where there was a little playset thing/swingset... then got up to a
bridge/overpass, then flipped my outfit on in reverse order. I had
a hoodie on top of some fancy gray speckled pea coat, so I put the
peacoat on the outer layer. and just walked along the busy roar-
ing street, on the bridge...
I also remember seeing some words or something etched into the

concrete rails of the bridge. I think they were Italian curse words.
Later I got picked up by the police while I was doing something
else. I was just somewhere getting along with some guy, when
two police women burst in and cuff me. I remember them look-
ing at me going "Do you plan on resisting?" and I just put my
hands out to be cuffed. and I remember not wanting to speak be-
cause of my jaw pain, but I do so sheepishly anyway. recapping
my story "So I walked through a neighborhood at night while on
a walk. One person didn't like my coat and claimed I was part
of a gang... Now I'm getting arrested. Is that fair?" and they just
continued.
1590
“AUXILIARY EYEBALLS”
01/30/2016
I was sitting in a car in a Walmart parking lot for a while. I had
the windows blocked off and I was sitting in the passenger's seat
just hanging out for a while doing something strange. Then lat-
er I was invited to go to India with some girl, and I was freaked
out at the thought because I was having throat problems, but I
needed to go for some reason. Then later I was watching some-
thing and learned that humans have auxiliary eyeballs in their
legs, right above the knee area. They weren't visible, but if some-
thing happened to one of our eyes, apparently we were able to
cut into our legs and pull out the auxiliary pair.
1591
“LADDER”
03/03/2016
At the end I followed those few people up the ladder and then
sat on the little edge, but I was waiting to see if anything scary
happened to them so I could leap back down into the hole and
run. and the people on the floor below me had fallen from some
vertical mattress and were in trouble and I thought that maybe
whenever I "looked away" from them they got in this trouble.
There was originally this boy sitting on this level of the place...no
older than 9 or 10... and I thought he was going to be hard to
get by, but he was just normal and curious... there was a fridge,
but i'm not sure what that had to do with anything. this was La-
jos place, and I was raiding it I guess for secrets? White book?
It had many stories. I think I accessed it from the back of that
store in the mall. through that door, like as if I was going into a
back-room. it was that store with all the cds and figurines, like
Spencer’s or Hot Topic or a halloween store.
1592
“GIANT BAT”
03/16/2016
There was that crazy stuff going on outside with that GIGAN-
TIC bat, and the miniature version of the bat. And no water was
left inside when I went back in. The outside world was like hell.
Later on HE messaged me Wanting to show off her new ‘black
hair’. I was also talking to Annie. Standing around in the kitchen.
But I was in another room. I was looking at pictures of Anita
online. And I freaked out and just started having a meltdown. I
just ran into the living room of our old house (upstairs). and just
started trying to masturbate. It was extremely stressful and dra-
matic.
1593
“BAH”
03/29/2016 | 9:53 AM
Playing pool. Dad wouldn't let me play at first. Girls moved balls
when he walked away. Their mother came and I had to tell her.
Any cigarette I wanted. Camel no. 9. That bar or pizza place.
Dad was being a selfish asshole. I was sitting at the edge of the
bar listening to a person talking with the bartender.
When my father and I went outside there was a huge lightning

storm. That's when we went to the pool hall.
1594
“CRYING”*
04/05/2016
...
1595
“NO LONGER TENDON”*
04/10/2016
...
1596
“CATHOLIC TUNNELS”
04/21/2016 | 8:22 AM
I remember being upset that I had spent every dollar of money I
had. Earned along the way but then I had traveled the world and
even though I had no money I had gotten around the world. I re-
member being in the frozen food section and picking something
out.
Old woman showed up in the room with many couches which

were arranged to tell my story with friends. She was scary and
odd by instinct but I obliged her. Asked if anyone had aviator
sunglasses. So I got out mine plus tons of other novelty glasses.
Those guys were covered in sunflower seeds at the end. And hue
the dream ended on the street where it began. And I was with
that man slinging on the wall rail when that ice cream man came
by scraping the walls and we had to lift up or else we would likely
be scraped, especially him, but the guy pulled away a foot for us,
Surprisingly.
So there were these Marv and Harry type bandits and that play
lady followed me all across the world. Creepy. I remember her
following me through Catholic tunnels.
1597
“COUCHING”
04/26/2016 | 8:36 AM
Was with others showing the house. But at first I was very resis-
tant to it. Then later we showed the house again and I was more
accommodating the second time. Part way through I left with
about five of the people to go get ready for a wedding. I was with
some metal guys and Doug. I remember deciding I need to go
home and get changed into my Dean outfit and so I sat over on
the couch next to Doug and I actually spoke. Explaining the sto-
ry to him and that I was going to leave and be back on a little bit.
I remember as we were saying goodbye and he must have or said
something that my dad didn't like and so my dad, who was now
here, caused a bit of a scene where he looked like he was threat-
ening Doug with a "do NOT disrespect me" type attitude with
made me very angry with him (my father).
1598
“BRITISH ACCENT”
04/26/2016 | 9:20 AM
That girl in the supermarket who came to hug me when I was
standing around the produce. Didn't recognize her at first and
then she approached me and hugged me and so it's funny that
I made a comment to her about how she looked familiar when
I didn't really think so. When she spoke she had a slight British
accent and I commented on it saying "British accent?" and she
said Yes. We knew one another from like ten years ago, appar-
ently she was there in that 2007 period of time. I remember we
passed by her father who was standing at the entryway. and she
ignored him when he wanted her to come which made me feel
awkward and then we walked through a check out aisle and away
from him. I remember he looked young and good.
This was after the part where I went walking through the wine
aisle and there were these two Mexican guys playing in the mid-
dle of the aisle with these paddle ball type things and they would
swing it and it would hit them in the crotch and they kept laugh-
ing, and finding it funny. So I walked by with a smile on my face
with my hands over my crotch and they laughed a little and they
let me through before resuming, pausing so they didn't hit me.
Then I looked and my wine was not there, It was no longer being
stocked. I walked around the store for a little while before that.
And then there was the part at the place outside with Sam and
Jess was there and people were taking photos and I went making
that weird pose with my head sticking out from behind Sam.
1599
“MUSHROOM MILK”
04/30/2016 | 7:36 AM
I was standing with Rubid at a snack table and laughing. My un-
cle was also there. I yelled at Np to "Take off the helmet, take off
the wig, stop shouting and stop assuming.” I got mad because my
acoustic tipped over and I commented about how the entire uni-
verse was against that guitar. I had also claimed that I lived with
David Bowie at the time of his death, although I was now staying
with Rubid. Np was walking around in some deep sea helmet or
some such. Oh... there was that part at the end when I was trying
to type this all in a computer and I accidentally forwarded some
Facebook mobile app thing to a few friends via Gmail and the
cord wasn’t long enough and it was pulling on the power adapter.
I remember driving in the car with my father and my sister. It was
a big van and the seating was very strange. Uncle was doing some
advertising bit. He was in this blue and black outfit all dressed
up from head to toe and just came up to me out of nowhere and
then tried to sell me this product all enthusiastically. Then at the
end he explains why he needs to do it like that because it would
be so easy for people to misperceive him as some weirdo so he
needs to maintain enthusiasm.
I was in my grandparents' kitchen getting soy milk. I turned away

for a moment and more but when I came back there was mush-
room milk on the counter and I got super grossed out. The soy
had been moved to the other counter. So I was unsure of which
one I drank. There was also some Freudian thing underneath the
sink in the cabinet. Some novelty gag thing I presume.
1600
“CORPSE IN ATTIC”
05/02/2016 | 9:40 AM
Fireworks getting hit by. Corpse in attic. Perfume store and a
woman I've known since the early nineties who didn't go to
school.
1601
“WEREWOLF HUNTERS”
05/05/2016 | 10:03 AM
Isaac and I stopped off at that place where I got out of the car
and the owner made a very dickish comment about me not wear-
ing shoes so I flipped him a bird but my finger didn't come up
right so I flipped the one next to it as well (so I flipped him my
middle finger and the finger next to it by mistake). I basically just
made a fool of myself before leaving. Then we drove all through
the night looking for a hunting and game store and finally found
one. I remember waiting outside in the car at night for a little
while chatting with Annie on the phone. Then we went in and
looked around and the owner was telling us about this new stock
and guns and I said that we don't need guns and he asked what
we wanted so I took out a pair of glasses and asked for a lens
change or something and then the guy did some weird demon-
stration with candy corn in a bowl, where he broke them into
crumbs and then crystallized and enlarged them.
I forget what I said to the man but it created somewhat of a

tense moment and Isaac nudged me and told me we don't need
that even though we did. I didn’t understand why he had said we
didn’t need it since it’s one of the main reasons we came. When
we got out he was like "No dude, did you not see who was in
there with us?” Apparently some other person was in the shop
who I didn't see, and it creeped me out when he mentioned it.
This was the reason why he didn’t want to stick around and ask
that question that I had tried to ask. I didn’t get the hint at the
time, but seeing how the dream unfolded, it was perhaps being
implied that one of the man that either worked at or was shop-
ping at the hunting store or was the werewolf that we were hunt-
1602
ing, and I must have asked for something like silver bullets in his
presence, giving away our mission, although I don’t think it was
such an obvious and cliche item.
Later on that night I was by myself standing in that area and I

went to test out my jumping ability or something and lept onto a
ledge above the door when the werewolf that we had apparently
been looking for the whole time showed up and came after me. I
woke up just as it was trying to grasp and claw and bite my right
leg.
“HAIRCUT GAMES”
06/08/2016 | 5:17 AM
My father didn't want me playing Haircut games from the 90’s
on the computer.
1604
“FROZEN CIG STAB”
06/13/2016 | 3:52 AM
My sister was sweeping piss in the bathroom. My mother was be-
ing an aggressive nuisance to my father in the kitchen while he
was working. She was on the floor.
Cigarette frozen stab. I was talking with some guys about cig-
arettes and asking which of them smoked, but no one was an-
swering for themselves, so I had to keep asking the same guy. He
didn't have menthol though. Another guy did, but each of his
cigarettes were numbered. The company was a sister company of
Kool and another brand.
1605
“WHAT”
06/21/2016 | 6:25 AM
A mix of ring shopping and trying to hide the fact that I was a
killer (sleepwalking with Annie).
1606
“GHOST SUV”
06/23/2016 | 7:09 AM
A ghostly, transparent SUV went speeding through Londonber-
ry. I watched it occur through the blinds while I was with Jeiez-
za. We went outside to inspect it. She was braver than I and ac-
tually went so far as to go over and check it out. There was a man
(scary as fuck) who was acting very jerky and jittery and bending
his head a certain way and would rest the hilt of a sword against
you while he spoke. I went lucid and considered waking up if it
got too intense.
1607
“PUG DOG COOKIES”
07/18/2016 | 6:55 AM
Snuck around to the front of the building and once inside I
plopped down onto the couch in the waiting area like laying
down. Guy behind the nearby counter said "Hey" and asked
SOMETHING like if I was on a trip and how I liked Jersey. I
told him I Didn't just come from Jersey and that I hadn't been
there in like three months but that I love it there. We talked a
little more. Where I said I would love to live in a place like this.
Bar in the drive room and sowbarurs is where I eat and what-
ever. He asked if I would like pizza. I said sure. So he pulls out
a nearby plate with a piece and a half on it. And I ask "Oh did
you just not want to finish yours?" And he says "That's exactly it."
He has cut the edges with a knife though so that there weren't
bite marks... where he stopped eating it. It looked like white piz-
za with spinach. I tried to eat it but not only was it chewy but it
was cheesy which I wasn't considering at first so I was a bit un-
comfortable. That's when I commented about how the cookies
look like pug dogs. And didn't know if he knew that. And he was
staring at them with this thoughtful look.
1608
“DEAN STUFF”
07/18/2016
I was trying to pack up all my stuff and have it taken downstairs,
sitting in that room with the bed, and that creepy guy is sitting
there and just persists to touch all of my Dean stuff... Like he’s
fooling with my necklace, my gauntlets, etc.
I remember taking the whistle necklace and blowing it loudly

but then it stopped working shortly thereafter and I spent a
minute or two trying to suck or blow harder to unclog it because
I didn’t know what was wrong but then I gave up. I think I even
threw my gauntlets at him when he wouldn't get away. I was
about to go on the road with Annie back to my house I think so
I was carrying all my stuff down to the landing at the front of the
house, and I had just been told that a bunch of other people were
coming so I wanted to get out beforehand.
So I brought a load down to the landing and came back and a girl
was going through clothes stuffed in the drawers under the bed
and she was smiling... but the guy was gone.
I immediately recognized the fact that this sweet and young girl
was the same person as that old and creepy guy. I forgot what I
said to them.
1609
“DEMONIC”*
08/08/2016
...
1610
“CHASED OUT OF HEAVEN”
08/10/2016
Yesterday morning I had a dream that I was in some sort of heav-
enly city and got chased out by Florentin. I remember strapping
on my shoes or some footwear and taking off down the golden
streets running as fast I could. I think he and my father BOTH
chased me away.
1611
“NEWS”
09/01/2016 | 11:20 AM
Houston news. Emailing DJ to tell him I moved to Houston. He
talked at first and it seemed fine but then he just stopped talking
for seemingly no reason at all.
"Asia... I mean Natalie... I mean Annie... close the fucking door.

I don't need them coming after us saying "we've seen too much"
or something spooky like that." Annie's legs ballooned in the of-
fice And when I signed in that lady asked me if I spoke (or ate?)
and I said Yes and she said "That’s too bad." Very weird environ-
ment. Alien movie. Where someone realized the alien was cute
and harmless and then someone ELSE came in and shot it blind-
ly. It was really dramatic. It was like MAN #1 came to the dra-
matic realization "Aw, I can't believe I almost shot ya little guy...
You weren't trying to kill me. You're a harmless little creature and
I can't believe I had you wrong." and then MAN #2 just shows
up, sees it, and shoots it.
The thing about the news: they were showing this person being
interviewed and he was wearing one of the black metal shirts
that I have... And I made a big deal about it. "There are only
like twenty of these shirts in circulation. So damn, what are the
odds!"
Was this also the dream where we all went into that weird
school???
1612
“BUGBITE”
09/02/2016 | 7:31 AM
Giant bug biting head. Joseph said it already bit him. Joseph was
irritable because I helped move the television outside. It was too
heavy for me and I think he thought I scratched it. But he apol-
ogized for his attitude towards me later. Earlier on I think I was
singing or wishing I could sing in some weird attic while listen-
ing to what sounded like lepers. Remarks about how Joseph's
moving truck was as large as my new apartment.
1613
“FAIRY CHARACTERS”
09/05/2016
...
1614
“VIRGO”
09/06/2016 | 7:51 AM
Man helping me pick out a new butane lighter. He has a Virgo
one. This was in a store, like Walmart, Target or something simi-
lar. Earlier on I was recording music. It was a soft voiced version
of something I already did before?
1615
“STAND UP”
09/07/2016
Rocky on stage doing some stand up or just finishing an act. And
I went to take a picture and it seemed very bright and conspicu-
ous since no one else was taking pictures at that time so I remem-
ber Annie looked at me and smiled.
1616
“CRIMINAL CLOTHES”
09/10/2016 | 9:21 AM
Waiting for owners to leave them. Annie and I were sneaking
into locked rooms and storage. Before that I was breaking into
houses and involved with a criminal scene. And I remember a
part where I was showing off all these outfits to her but each out-
fit I had a knife sticking out of my pants or something.
1617
“MOB BOSS”
09/18/2016
The part where Annie and I were sitting in the living room talk-
ing with my mom. Annie had previously told me about the death
of that "mob" guy in Lynchburg, living near the arena. However
even though he was a horrible deadly person there was a sense of
order while he was around, so now that he was dead things actu-
ally got WORSE. I told this to my mother while Annie was there
and my mom was sitting on the edge of the couch in the living
room, near the piano (that living room)... and dad was emailing
her from orlando or tampa florida... he had been traveling from
place to place, and today he was in one of those, but he wasn't be-
ing too specific like he was saying making comments about the
beach, just kinda leaving her to piece together the information
on her own. I remember saying that Orlando is actually one of
the most high-crime cities in the US... and that Houston is not
far behind it. My mom didn't believe the Orlando one. But while
she was sitting on the edge of the couch, on top of her knee there
was like this little stack/pile of ***, the frozen water things I hate
so much.
There was an earlier part where Annie and I were with her fam-
ily... we had all taken a trip to some place in the world... and her
family was really tired... So her mother slept for like a day or two
and I was happy hoping that would continue so I could spend
more time with Annie, but it didn't last.
There was a part where I remember being outside of a food mar-

ket talking to Ryan??? I think it was supposed to be Annie's
brother at the time... but then again, I also feel like I remember
Bryant being there.
1618
• Annie’s secretary, Judy... her blouse caught fire and I had to put it
out with a hair comb.
“HAND STAMP”
09/20/2016 | 10:15 AM
Isaac and I had some disagreement along with other people and
I think it was because I was being very silly and slobbery and
so I was very difficult but I had to say “Hey, listen up” and stop
him and correct him. Then later on I remember asking for ad-
vice from people on something to do about something and one
of them said to go to the fair just around the corner. So I for some
reason went into the fair but didn't do anything and on my out
the lady was standing at the entryway and she asked for my hand
and then stamped it and asked for ten dollars and I explained I
wasn't staying and that I didn't ride the rides and that I can't do it
anyway because medical conditions and she was refusing. Then
my sister came along and I spent some time talking to her. That's
all I remember. But I do remember spending a lot of time with
Isaac and having fun for most of it. Like standing in lines.
1620
“LAUNDRY”
09/22/2016
I don't recall what I dreamt about last night, but Annie told me
I was talking in my sleep. I started raising my voice saying some-
thing like "You don't know what you want!" and then later an-
other time I accidentally kneed her in the back while shifting
positions in my sleep. Then I said something else like “Fuck it
all!” and I said something else and then she accused me of being
asleep and asked me what I am talking about and I responded
saying something about ‘the laundry’.
“Yeah, you're sleeptalking.”
“No... I'm waiting for the laundry.”
1621
“KILLER CANDIES”
09/24/2016 | 9:43 AM
Those old creme de leche candies in my drawer. They were old
milky candies and they swallowed up that guy who got too close.
Two people died by being swallowed up by liquids in my house
in the same night. I was there with this girl and I was like "Screw
this, let's leave and go to..." I forgot the place.
It was late night and we were getting ready to leave anyway. I'm
not clear on what house we were at. She said she just wanted to
go dancing and forget all this stress. I think someone also died
by getting sucked into the album cover of my second album The
Perfect Swarm. I remember a girl I used to know was in the dream
but she was always so distant due to work.
1622
“DANCE MUSIC”
09/27/2016 | 10:00 AM
I was in an upstairs room by myself, knowing that my house had
a lot of company/guests on a lower floor. I didn't wish to go
down and see them. And I looked around and there were can-
dy baskets, so I sat there and ate the candy. Someone eventually
came up and got me, or at least stayed with me. Possibly my sis-
ter. Finally when I went down I remember sitting on a reclining
chair in a medium-sized recreation room surrounded by dozens
of people, which included my parents and some other family but
most of the people were unknown to me. There was light music
playing in the background, a playlist had been created, and I in-
serted a song I liked into the playlist, possibly unbeknownst to
my father, and it was a dance track. When it came on he made
fun of it under his breath. Not meanly but just poking fun at the
way it sounded. But a girl sitting nearby me... at listening to the
chorus, she began to finish the chorus with her own singing, as
if she already knew and loved the song, and I remember being
really happy at that moment. I introduced myself to her soon
enough and we spent a lot of time together. We were alone in a
small room together, and we were there for a while together, but
I remember finding out that the door was ajar, so I got up and
walked to the other side of the room to close it, and whatever
happened at that moment. I don't know. I think the girl simply
had to go after all, because our moment together was disrupted.
The next scene I can recall is being in this same room with an-
other girl, possibly early 20's, of Asian descent. We were "mak-
ing out" with each other in a most casual way, with no affection
involved, but then I remember her opening up very candidly
1623
about how she has had sexual relations with others in her fam-
ily... namely her mother. And I just remember staring at her
blankly, not knowing how to respond to such confessions, and
after opening up about it she didn't know what more she should
say, but she seemed conflicted and like she had stuff that she
needed to get off her chest. I told her I was a psychologist and
that I would listen to whatever she had to say without bias or
judgment.
There was one later scene that I vaguely remember. It was like me
and several other people were on a ride through the woods. Al-
most like a hayride. Like we were all on some pickup truck go-
ing through a forest trail in the late hours of night. I believe both
girls that I had been with that night were here, but there was
something awkward in our communication and I recall feeling
uneasy.
“MALLET”
10/02/2016 | 9:12 AM
I was heading out on some sort of road trip. It was very early in
the morning and I was looking for my Kratom and my mallet
and my mother told me she had probably moved it to the back
of the truck, so I was looking out there a while and other people
were looking too but then I found it and I realized it was in the
cabinet all along, since I wouldn’t have packed it yet. And the
guy that I was driving with... he didn't want to listen to any mu-
sic, which he chocked up to this so-called ‘aggressive breakup
habit’ because all the girls he dated were like celebrities or some-
thing and they were musicians and he just didn’t want to listen
to music. I remember Michael. He was with his girlfriend. I re-
member him finding out I was Dean. He didn't seem too happy
about it. I had thought he would be interested in the fact that
it was this Trickster thing, but he got upset. He didn’t freak out
or anything but he became kind of rude with me. I explained to
him that it was not out of malice. And while I kept explaining it
he kept kissing his girlfriend, like in a sort of defiant ignorance of
what I was trying to say. And before heading out on the road trip
I just kept thinking “Should I have a little drink?”
1625
“EARLY BEDTIME”
10/04/2016 | 7:32 AM
About those water nymphs... I remember at the end thinking I
was just gonna dive in with a camera, and it would probably kill
me, but I’d get this close up shot of being there and seeing them
on camera... viciously... was really creepy. And then there's this
Asian guy. This was a while earlier. He was a part of the crew that
we worked with. And then there's this guy that went to bed re-
ally early at night. He was kind of bald, balding, and he was all
silly. I remember I was talking to him and he goes “Oooh no, I
go to bed really early at night” and then it showed this clip of the
Asian guy on stage going “Any minute now we’ll be hearing from
our guest so and so,” but it was really late at night. So I guess it
was kind of a joke. Like a joke flashback. Like of course he's not
going to come, he’s already in bed. I guess that the reason I was
having this flashback was because once he told me that he goes
to bed early suddenly it made sense why that happened on the
show... like why didn’t he ever show up for that? Oh, because he
was asleep! But I didn’t get it until now.
1626
“EXPRESS LANE”
10/10/2016 | 7:30 AM
That really tall British guy I met in line at the store. He was often
in line at the store. He was moving his tongue really far around
the side of his mouth when he spoke and making these really
weird facial expressions. He also did a weird thing with his bel-
ly. He was nuts. He was like six foot five and British. And at first
I saw him in the express lane... There was something we said of
the people who always use the express lane, the “five items or less
aisle of life”. My mother was in the checkout aisle later, trying on
new shoes or something, and she never looked at them. That was
the end of the dream though.
There was a party going on. Tyler was there. Eating a sandwich
together. Someone didn’t want it so he goes “You know what”
and cuts it in half and gives half to me, but he didn’t give me
half... more like 30%. He definitely kept the larger portion for
himself. But we were eating it and then he got called away and I
remember going off to shower or something. I showed up later in
my stretch pants and a shirt and crept around because everyone
who was there...
What people were there... Kids. Tyler was there. I kept in touch
with Annie a lot throughout, so she was in it. I just don’t remem-
ber what role she played.
1627
“AWKWARD MEETING”
10/10/2016 | 9:33 AM
There was all that stuff where I was driving in this car to get
somewhere, and I barely remember actually driving. I was very
tired and just kind of disoriented waiting to get a little less dis-
oriented so I could finish driving all the way at. I was standing
with my parents until then, ‘cause I stopped driving, ‘cause I was
disoriented. There was a thing where I was with Annie and we
were naked and my sister walked by and she said... she said some-
thing about how I looked like candy, something really bizarre,
and I told her to fuck off and go away. So I was sitting there try-
ing to recuperate at the house but my parents were fucking up
and they were like being really really awful me and I was freaking
out because I'm like it’s going to make my head worse and make
my anxiety worse and I won’t be able to drive and they’re trying
to treat me, trying to keep me here. Don’t know how I managed
to escape but I eventually did. I got in the car and Annie and I
went to Trader Joe's, where we were the other day. I forget what
we wanted to get. We forgot something ... Oh, we were looking
for candy corn. And on the way out, I saw this table. But it was
right next to this restaurant, an outdoor cafe. And I see two guys
sitting at the table. And I see one of them. And I'm like that looks
like the drummer of a band I know. It was the drummer and the
singer. I commented, “Hey, you’re...” and they didn’t seem too
thrilled that they were recognized. I spoke to them for a few min-
utes but it was kind of awkward. They weren't the nicest people,
for one. Not sure why. And eventually, the other guys came back
too. They were somewhere else. I don't know why they were here
because I thought they toured in Houston and then went on to
New York like to the East Coast. So I don’t know why they were
1628
back in Houston. So they were talking and I was just asking ques-
tions like “So what have you guys got planned? What’s coming
up?” And they were like, “uhhhh”. And I go “what is that a bor-
ing question?” And they go “yeah...” or something I forget “ we
always have to answer that one.” but one of the guys seemed en-
thusiastic to answer and was talking about his obsessions with
synchronicity and porno groove and I don't know. It was really
weird. At the end I said “it was nice talking to you” and I left.
That's all remember
“PARTY’S OVER”
10/11/2016 | 7:19 AM
I was at that party with all those girls there who I hung out with
for most of the time. Lot of people, well not until later. I think
they were Asia’s friends but I was still hanging out with them.
Then at the end that woman was playing a song. I used my video
camera to record it. I was kind of thinking... okay, when the
woman stops performing I’m going to go and try to get some-
one to stay with ‘cause I don’t want to be alone. I want to get
to know some people better. So right before there I’m like okay
I need to use the bathroom and pee first. So I went to use the
bathroom, came out, the song was over, everyone was leaving. I
thought people were at least gonna stay a little bit. S and H were
already gone. They took off right away, and I went all over the
parking lot looking for them. There's like this little spot down-
stairs around these curves. Some weird place. and then across
the way there was this amusement park. Not far from where I
was. There's a long parking lot. And all the girls were gone.I was
gonna ask people if they wanted to work on an instrumental film
soundtrack with guitar and stuff overnight, or just for an hour or
two. That’s all.
1630
“DOGFIGHT”
10/14/2016 | 9:34 AM
At the end of that one I remember there was this girl playing by
the side of the road. She lost her deer or something. And this
woman riding a dog came by. I remember Tokyo came running
from nowhere and ran after her dog, and then Asia ran after
Tokyo, and I’m like oh no... They started fighting, so I went over
there and broke them up. So I went over to the girl and she said
“(?) scares me.” And I said “You have a good day!” And walked
away. Something very weird about that dream.
Earlier tonight I had that dream where I was at this outdoor

place with several people... and I had pointed someone out as the
one we were needing to shoot, And I had a tape recorder in my
hand and pointed at them, saying “he shot me”.
1631
“THE SHOCK”
10/18/2016 | 9:41 AM
This guy was talking about this ‘shock’—this temple, or it was
like this lodge district elk lodge kind of thing that's been stand-
ing for he said, 1000s of years, it's always been this home to trav-
elers, and that’s what he serves instead of God. And then I woke
up, but I was still asleep. And that's when the sheriff heard. He's
like, “it's a trailer for a failed thing.” He's like “I knew that your
membership to this thing was as phony as your sudden impulse
to join it” or something like that. I remember we're looking at a
picture of this list of things on the wall and I was reading it and
I was asking that isn't in terms of Calvin especially Calvin's car-
toon like what actually like he said, see here looks really upset.
It actually looked like Dennis the Menace. He looked really up-
set, and I asked what it meant. He just looked upset. It took a
few minutes before he explained the shock to me, which was
this lodge thing. And I said do you believe in god, and he said
“I believe in Akah” or something like that. I forget what it was.
He was the one who looked like he was about to kiss me. Or it
looked like he was about to. We were sitting on a high platform.
And I’m just telling him like this is the first time I've been up
here with other guys with me. All the other times there was no
one around. I forget what we spoke about. These guys would just
gather on a platform. It was quite difficult getting up there, from
what I remember.
At the end it showed the silhouette of a guy standing there...And

the sherif who found him, and he said “I want to thank you, be-
cause you’re my killer.” And it showed the other guy walking to-
ward him... the guy he was talking to.
1632
I don’t remember what the deal was with that picture. The guy
looked concerned when what I was reading turned into a picture.
I was on the lake and I was standing on that platform watching

the birds. And there's really bright blue colored like, looks like a
vulture bird. And I said “oh my god its a shiny”. It was a Pokémon
reference. It was so funny. And I called Annie and I told her. I
tried to take pictures but I didn't get the pictures until it was al-
ready in flight and they were kind of blurry so I was like man...
for future reference... just take a video when it's in flight.
UNEDITED BUNCH
The following dreams ( from 2016) have yet to be edited since being
out through the transcription service and so a lot of it is nonsense
that doesn’t accurately portray my dreams.
10-12-2016 10:34 AM
I was in that donut shop or that shop that had like... it had safes
in the bathrooms and I was like the What the fuck? I heard
someone talk about kratom at the desk too, these kids and their
family, then I went to the counter, and I realized when I went to
pay that I didn’t have my wallet.
There was that part where I was in my room and I heard some-
body beyond the window. So I went over and someone was look-
ing for something, so I turn on my lights. At first I hid, but then
they came over by the door and the lights come over to the door
My goal is you look for anything but they walked right by nasty
and there was a little window was not open. So my window and
put back on my lights I'm sure they could see me.
I remember I woke up develop some special Jesus can use this like
I was just like we ever on the Jesus thing, but it sounds like and
they're gone. It's because of this. Look.” And it was something
he had written down on paper that said “Lost Prophet” or “Lost
Disciple”. And I had a picture of a pumpkin treat... like one of
those little Debbie’s pumpkin cakes where the eyes and mouths
are glazy.
Like you didn't lose anything to gain. This sounds like you didn't
lose anything. You This is a gift that you could share. Like my
knowledge. side, there's people coming around again. So I want
1634
to add a few things and forget what song was inserted to Katie's
house shop.
I remember I was walking through the hallways, really weird hall-

ways, stairways they had like, chunks taken out of them so you
could see the shop underneath. And you had to climb up in a
weird way just to get to the shops. I was like lost... I'm like okay,
I'm in a new place I'm gonna take one day just to get as lost as I
can, no...
that I can't let go socks but everyone goes far as I can see the
world this Top Shop and it was so my travel agency insurance it
was like insurance or real retail real estate. Celebrities like
“What's this...?” It was like Zillow or something. Oh I don't need

some like you can't use it sorry she's so just like them and I start-
ed this shop then I realized my way to shops and
I realized I had no wallet. I walked in and it was a little candy

shop organic shop with candy got to reverse to the bathroom so
it was two safes and law going around like what the fuck political
view for 42 years places so I didn't use it just went to the counter
and looked okay.
The lady at the cash register... she looked at me but she didn’t say
anything. And someone else wants to ask you or have someone
to bring the tip and this boy runs up with a book or something
for someone else's food the same thing just me I was just look-
ing around looking at different things. okay those things before
those girls like two or three girls in my life a
(Neck problems ramble)
I was with these girls for a while. Jeiezza was among them.
10-23-2016 8:19 AM
Okay so there was that skate park where I was skating. We killed
my mother sooner I think it was first I shot with a problem and
the second time it was that kid who was trying to is trying to see
you singing like this prop of pot of gold up near like some kind of
store sign trying to um synchronize themselves not synchronize
what's word and use a contract to do this and regardless Okay,
well that's a big thing for Yeah, she realized he couldn't remem-
ber walking in there was a book that petals pictures of different
giant large cats. And I was gonna write down all the differences
in my life after I killed my mother or grandfather each time each
each Wildcat representative and 10.
previewing and corner and I try to carry to kill my father my

mother because my father would be there like he was in he was
in on it so he didn't know about it at this point crazy mixtures
that I was going to use I was gonna eventually shoot them but
he did there was this mixture on the counter and I was supposed
to walk in unnoticed and while he just went there and talked to
him and he had made these mixtures in the counter
there was like this long to this something in it some bullet bullet
which is something that propelled bullets and he was waiting for
to like cure or something there was just all these different steps
and then I had to wait for it to come pour it out and put it where
it belongs to us just hiding in the kitchen
conversations is really creepy that if I went there and they were

like happy to see me it was just so weird. And I was just walking
around for like a few minutes sometimes and go hiking the other
or not. I know my father was hiding in the other room. And I
went there one time the second time I've tried already killed the
second time I had to go do it. I wanted to next gen like I don't
want to do this. What is this taking a toll on my body the anxiety
has really taken a toll on my body
was like do it and like I had to do some like ether or something.
And I kept inhaling all these nasty things accidentally attached

to it. It was a part of doing what I was doing. It was bad it was
like I was afraid I was gonna die just in the process of okay, but
then then I could at church or something. And there's these kids
in like skateboarding and stuff. I forgot I did but I was just sitting
on the ground sitting on a skateboard or something. It wasn't
supposed to be a scoreboard like everyone else had I was just sit-
ting down on something and it was seen as a method that doesn't
usually work and then people couldn't believe worked. And I was
just like sitting down not even trying to do anything I was just
taking me over the hill across the hill and people were like look-
ing at me like wow yeah, that's what I was trying to synchronize
from single symptom in this top, giant pot of gold, and I like to
put my head down I like what you're doing is I'm trying to make
myself sacred work okay. Giant things they're like, made of foam,
but then coated with something harder. Shell
10-25-2016 - 10:16 AM
I just remember being holed up in that shop and waiting for that
guy to come. And guy, it was terrible from Twin Peaks kind of
and I don't know how to gone. I was holding it waiting because I
didn't know how to shoot a notional before. So it's like I want to
shoot it someone else take this all looking at the door waiting be-
cause it started when my friend remember that a friend became
a mentor the whole dream. It finally turned on me or something

kind of like I remember getting a message something in the mail.
There was a book and some sort of message from him, which was
a really bad omen I think we were close before that. I think he
was kind of like homosexual. I'm not sure what he was like a mid-
dle aged guy and he was like my mentor or something. And I
would just be like over his house and he had like this little trailer
which I found kind of creepy. And I just remember one thing I
forgot so
10-26-2016 - 10:01 AM
We're all in that restaurant or something my parents were and

then this cart this waiter, waiter comes pawn push them card up.
And right when these new table out jumps, this man who's hid-
ing inside of it, and it's just, it's dripping and covered in acid, and
he just lunges at my father. First what like when mom's between
the doesn't make a pastor? So he hits her instead but like, there
was no like bad negative consequences. He just was like strug-
gling to get to my father. I saw the black guy who was like Smilow
push to cart because he knew what he was doing. I don't know
why he was after my father. acid or thing. Like that guy. He also
got patents
In that same dream I remember thinking that thought postings

online I was like, Who ish? Because I was gonna I was gonna sell
it who's
she wondering who some girl was? But I didn't want to make it
obvious that people want this because I want them to go away
who you know who's he talked about? Because I wasn't talking

about anything and I didn't know but I said like, instead was like
who ish? Like two words who ish I was never accepted evidence
thing that was being cryptic with some girl she was or why she
was important and there's a lot of reasons basement stuff and
there's this little boy there he is. I think this was really like when
he came across to me as being all serious about something and I
complimented him and he was so excited by the club. He came
in close and he was just like, aroused by it. It was very creepy, like
a 13 year old boy. And he comes in he's like a boxer he's trying to
kiss me like what the hell also it was called liver roll comes down
here it's looks like and then looked over. Then I turned around
and immediately I looked in the freezer was behind like this. I
could see through and so I was like food that like the strawberry
sauce like was possible as far as I saw. Like, why that's weird. And
I was like the end of the scene.
11-11-2016 9:14 AM
case there was that woman stopped, I was pulled over, I was run-
ning around the field with some kind of mask on and stuff like
that I was bleeding. And who said there was something wrong
so he pulled me aside. I'm like, what I don't feel bad, nothing's
wrong, I don't feel anything. And he pulled me over. And I was
walking back I thought I saw like horrified looks on people's
faces. And so he brought me to this place where this woman was
working, like to sew home office. And I looked in the mirror and
I saw that I had this pit with all my neck while I was like extreme-
ly bad. It was just like really bloody and like I don't remember
that. I had just been running on the field. It's a sports field like
crawling around with this mask on just being so this woman was
the most amazing nice woman when she was just like she cared
so much about my well being she was like blonde and she she's
kind of got Marcia Brady kind of that makes any sense. Like that
woman make the Minster movies. She just had that kind of look
not completely but she came on with that she was just so car-
ing and nice and she was just trying to get this stuff off of me.
But there was this like buttery stuff in the ball. First I drank her
first concoction too much of it. So she had to make more she'll
make this this weird battery stuff and the ball and accidentally
drank too much of that too. But it can clung on the ball. And
they would get on our bodies and start to take over so we had to
try really hard. I remember at the very end of the team. I could go
I started getting on her dog and the dog started convulsing and
like we came possess them it was like it was taking over the think-
ing of the dog. She worked with an assistant to by the way there's
one other woman there with her it's just a little house probably
just took me there when I was I was falling apart. I figured that
was happening before I was around I feel that mess but it was
something like that follows
11-16-2016 10:30 AM
Never went out with that girl. There was all those kids outside
the house that were like, on top of those balloons. And that guy
was putting together I didn't know the guy's name until the end
neither. Like, wait, is that a cop? Someone said, Hey, can you get
this guy to help with this? So I was like outside? And I'm like,
Yeah, isn't it was like my son's I think it was name was Mike Shaw.
And like, okay, which is weird because I knew him better than
most other people there. And then like, yeah, the rest of the peo-
ple are this, this and this and that. And he's this, like, okay, he
was outside, he had these two giant balloons, or this one giant
blend, these kids were on it. It just seemed dangerous and really
dangerous. And there's these two girls waiting inside by where I

was. Virtually he called them out to go get on top of the tube. I
don't think that worked. I think it was like a two person limit on
the balloon. Anyway. There was this other girl there who wasn't
the most attractive girl like, she wasn't like quite my type. But
she was really awesome. And I like we took some stuff, I forgot
who it was, but it made us like I remember I started getting sick
and my throat start acting up. And my throat started feeling real-
ly swollen because of sickness. But it was just like worried about
me. But we took something that made us jump higher, or like
flow a little bit. So we wouldn't run around these fields. It was
so much fun. We're just like hopping over fences and buildings
and do weird things. And she started like, I don't know where to
stand on this one building making up words. And she's like, Let's
carve that word into this test. Remember, we had made up word
or something. That was like an acronym. I think it was fully
will remember, when we were on our way out, we recorded like
it was Abracadabra. I mean, it was It started off that way but then
descended into this weird thing. And jibberish was just gone in
a morning and she was just making weird noises words. It's real-
ly funny. It's variant of the dream and I remember coming back
going on stairs. Now I was in Charldon was going down stairs to
loneliness coming up. Or no, I was coming up the stairs and my
dad came down, and he's like “And why can't you do this your-
self ?” He was just being an asshole.
11-18-2016 8:11 AM
Okay, so me and Annie, we crashed a boat. And it's apartment

complex that we had to climb up using this billboards over and
drew this little mark what made this so marked with a red marker
where it was bent just to make it look like it bent that way natu-
rally not our fault. It was a Santa Claus billboard had his picture
on it. So we climbed over that and slid down this pole, and like
this kind of papery stuff. And any like dropped just dropped free
phone for me. No. So I just like slid down a must way. And then
after that oh yeah, there was just about anywhere. She was mak-
ing phone calls these people just randomly but pretending to be
part of like this internet talk show was the most annoying calls
they've had today and in different weird questions like that as a
way to like, obtain information secretly. But it was really funny. I
was just sitting there listening
11-23-2016 9:13 AM
That was really interesting and because my son's still here every
now but I can't record that unfortunately was like the Do you
believe them? Believe me it was like some just do something wa-
ter like deal time something before that it was at this was dri-
ving two o'clock my dad we're talking about radio stations. We're
just like oh no we've been lucky though and just played ad stuff
all day or no no the other one just played fat no this isn't a start
up like I put this rolling business logic stuff that's good I told
them like I think I remember all my life now. I think I filled in
all the gaps all the moments stajan Different started I just before
that was driving off his place. I really didn't say anything, but it's
worth it. You know, if you take the time, I asked him to write
stuff to have a sound zoek stuff back. Like media blaster stuff.
It's been sold out for six, seven years. I was like what the fuck,
they had things really expensive. Like, over $1,000 I can do re-
ally brand new, but stuff that went for like $1,000 or used when
before that it was at this meeting with these people sent a table
and on every target. It was so loud. It sounds like the guy was
complaining to the wheelchair guy from family. Even though like
the way he yelled for this guy was loud, you can hear Noxus and
I've ever tried to I kind of took over the group in raw sitting at
a table. And I was being really awesome. And for the call leader.
I was just getting chosen these people. I was like okay, so you
know, I was taking signer names for the next meeting. And this
guy signed his on both and he's like, wait again and then both
I'm like to sign your wife here. It's like good luck Lola ball up-
ping Bongo. He just kept like this weird name. His laugh is like
it's weird one when it gets not around name was just in so it was
like, You know what I tried? I'm giving it was just really operative
was really proud of the way I was like, wow, I have all these total
strangers print pretty well. That was it.
Before that a few hours ago I was dreaming about candle ups
around the fridge in the lumber house and reflect on the candles
that already been covered and like if one of candles, no, they're
all green. He's kind of on the green and for some reason they just
don't right just still taste green. So then German or French and
stuff like three or four
Dentistry was seven years. I've been talking to my dad. It's not
good. I've actually had in listening to a quiet to advanced outline
here, but he's talking to me. I'm kind of just trying to get the rub-
ber boots and listen, and it still stops and still going to head but I
can't get down at the tune of like, two. What do you believe? Do
you believe enough? I believe it's called
11-29-2016 10:04 AM
Like a trans No this was a trans woman kind of God I'm not must
have been identifying as just like a woman or is pretty big and
he was like very dark he should have been at that place I mean
any we're getting some boost up over some food or gas station or
a restaurant or something we had finally this place on the beach
Thank you found this padding and so we took it and we like
cleaned up the local area around just around the beach around
the beach and house we cleaned up the shore and then we got
in the car that was in the premise. It was like just like this little
van we just went for a trip. and it was weird later on and remem-
ber I was just getting really upset because to me it was accurate
just kind of seemed very flirty. And I was getting angry and to
saying stuff that made me look bad and make me look like I was
very just like you're saying things openly found like I'm not doing
I'm like no you're not you know, it's just like really mad. Then lat-
er on, like he was talking about your shin I'm talking about like
sin sin key. Now like I know you I'm like I went out with you.
We went straight it's like it's like you're the one we took. Oh no,
no, you're the one to canoe we were on the canoe and I'm like
yeah, okay, yeah. Canoe for like three for like 30 minutes before I
want to come back and get food and so like neighbor neighbors
like you know Kyle and so and so Nathan or somebody said no.
And like he had thick hair like this and I was just getting really
pissed when he was acting so I was just I just I kept all the stuff
in the door of the car like stuffed in little compartments and I re-
member on the back of the no van thing on the inside I was writ-
ing all this crazy stuff on wall I remember just howling howling
howling howling over and over again. And then there was anoth-
er one beneath it I was like drawn these like satanic symbols like
the philosophy of the mind. It wasn't philosophy that was some-
thing else Sufi isn't ever another word it was like it was like bark-
ing or something
Yeah, we met that guy in store he like just I remember seeing him
walk in anywhere like this little soundbar some kind of restau-
rant he just comes walking over and system they're just like he
made a couple honors pets was really to her but kinda was on be-
cause she was nearby and so she was all nice responded. I kept
talking remember he told him she was like Yeah, I heard dis-
cussed this table they're talking about you like
you kind of attracted like no, we'll have to kind of just want to
work her I was just pleased to see him and she made a scene out
of it because she was she she like was like a bit you don't like some
giving like didn't say not something?
12-05-2016 8:09 AM
That was weird when I was helping. I arrived at this weird place.
It was like these people don't like visit decon people. It was like
ZOTIQ you in Africa forget. Oh. There was this. I remember I
was traveling there with this Brazilian woman, and she couldn't
find her brother when we got there. And I remember there was
like homeless people. There was like those kids that were like,
traveling around the parking lot. And there's the guy that was on
in the restaurant. He was like, probably like in his 20s he had a
ball and he was just like, kicking the ball around these kids were
following it Oh, no stuff about like these weird hidden coves and
parts on the map. Never written in a dream. I woke up. And I
was telling it to I told her when I found but I guess that was part
of the dream.
12-12-2016 2:48 PM
Come on help me work McDonald's Megan finest when she was

serious questions didn't know better I think the sky was crash-
ing growling writing should I care enough to this is good what
did you sign up for what'd you sign up for okay. right okay I'm
coming I don't really know but she's drooling everywhere right?
Okay this says like I'm uncomfortable with general Jean genome
just me just mean just write this noise draw Do you also Well, I
mean just trust me enough to got your raincoat by the fact that
you know I shouldn't have to be. Only licorice My face like your
partner. Table. flopped. and we fall asleep on the couch me fall
asleep. I'm just trying to get to talk to them. too many times Re-
cently Oh? Amazing
12-14-2016 8:35 AM
Okay, okay in the gym I just had there was all I remember he was
walking to that place where there was pop up and he was walk-
ing back with like a ladder or something. And he was complain-
ing, because he said he's he twisted something. He just doesn't
see himself being able to do that again, the future. The work,
he just did it. He was upset about that. They asked him he was
just like, he just couldn't do it. He had hurt himself. He doesn't
walk him back. I forget what I told him though. But then when
I went back, there was this girl there who was looking for some-
thing that she knew we had. Like she was, she was like coming
to take it, but she knew that it came with other things too. And
I was trying to keep her from finding that out. She's like, Oh,
it shouldn't come with you know these two things. And then I
want her to know that because I wanted to teach other things.
12-15-2016 8:45 AM
There was that part there was that part where I was walking to
the. I was filling out a form to become a cook. To get some new
a the ability to use the special food things where I can mix ob-
viously will make some nice flavor cubes. Because I saw eysies
When she made her own, like flavor cubes for something, and
I thought was pretty cool. And maybe one of the things about
being a chef again because she was like in the back. I remember
her being in the back mixing stuff. It was really weird because
everyone was dressed as like these foreign like Hungarians or I
forget what they were Russians. It was like some special like, for-
eign food day. There was just a specific person. It was a restaurant
and I was like the head. I work to counter but didn't like it. I no-
ticed coming back home and someone was like a it looks like you
found your niche. And I'm like no, I think I'd rather have a dif-
ferent job. I was like even her jobs better. than I've ever gone to
the elevator and I remember sneaking around to it. And Dexter
came out and he was all excited. Women and he came but I for-
got to turn off sneaking around because I was trying to get his I
forgot I was trying to do
Also remember this part where I was hiding behind I was with
some of the people from friends like everyone was like Chandler
and Joey they were hiding behind something trying to smoke a
cigarette before anyone else saw we all want a cigarette I think
it was all the guys in me but no everyone had a reason for why I
didn't want to get caught so that I could pull it out so put on a
lighter and a cigarette let it into the past. Then I passed around I
gave to Chandler first because he wanted to most and then I told
him to pass it clockwise. And so I did like Joey that Ross that I
got back again. So I took two puffs before was gone. Whoever
the molecule is coming so we started out quick, was really fun-
ny and realistic though. The way everyone was acting just to get
a puff of a cigarette trying to remember what else I bought them.
I'm not sure
12-21-2016 9:22 AM
Texas more. And I went in there and I was okay. I was sort of like
Spencer's was hanging out with people. I feel I was doing later
on a visit that woman who's like a hair hairstylist or something
in a different smaller office building. And then I came back and
I brought her to like this place in the mall, trying to find her bet-
ter place, even though she didn't want a better place. I just felt
like she should have won altogether and didn't get spent her life
place. I had to say talk to this girl. And looked at like T shirts and
stuff. I forget. Something happened in that place. Oh, no, no, it
was just this guy. He asked me what I was looking for. Ya know
that places like Best Buy, it might have still been the Malda. came
and asked if I was looking for a movie or something. Now I'm
not just music.
At the end, there's a thing of Obama getting a haircut or getting

like wood, that woman named Darcy, who's really unstable, like
freaked out. She's supposed to be an actor working with someone
said freaked out. And the whole reason she was like working with
Obama was like this plot to get close to him. So she can tell him
something really freaky. And so the energy team, whoever that
was was like, Oh, that was Darcy. Because they could no longer
figure who she was
there was that really emotional person. So my dad was drunk. Or

my dad was like lying there immobilized. And either I was drunk
or he was drunk. And I was coming back and forth to the living
room, yelling out things that were things he said to me before or

I was putting on a skit. I was carrying on trying to demonstrate
how he'd been treating me all these years. It was some really aw-
ful stuff. It was just an attempt to show him how nasty of a per-
son he had been to me.
The following text is a bit disorganized in that it lacks date

and time and contains a handful of dreams that came later
than 2019.
BAAAAD MAN
A simple dream from sometime in early 2019. I haven’t been in
the habit of recording my dreams over the past several years due
to the combined issues with my hands and my speech, unfortu-
nately. I may just begin posting random entries as I find them on
my phone even if they aren’t particularly momentous... because
why the hell not.
My father and I returned to the New Jersey house. The death of

my mother had caused him to transform into some sort of de-
monic creature and I was required to contain him within a box
or crate. He was behaving violently and erratically, attempting
to kill me, and when it became too much for me to bear I be-
gan stabbing holes into the crate in an attempt to weaken him.
Eventually I fled the house and down the streets of Pine Hill. He
didn’t follow after me, so I just continued on walking. It was very
late at night. While walking along the road I began to sing and
I realized that my voice sounded unlike it normally did, sound-
ing, by my estimation, like the vocalist from Spandau Ballet, so I
suddenly performed a perfect acapella rendition of “Revenge For
Love” (first verse and chorus) while walking along the midnight
roadway and I recorded it onto my phone. Then I came upon a
shopping cart and began to push it around along the side of the
roadway. I pushed it all the way to a sports field, where I encoun-
tered a group of four young men walking around in the dark. I
appeared to be acquainted with one of the men, whose name was
Russell. I explained to him all that had happened and he invited
me to a party in a closed down café across the sports field. There
I was introduced to a girl who made me uncomfortable with the
way she was acting. I recall seeing her looking at me from across
the aisle, saying to two of her friends “He’s a baaaad man” while
1652
staring at me with a sort of suggestive smile and I wasn’t sure

what she meant to imply. She was only fooling around, but I wor-
ried that the others thought she was being serious. Then I pulled
out my phone and began listening to my previous recordings and
I turned to someone sitting nearby and asked if it sounded to
them like Spandau Ballet, but I don’t think they were familiar
with the band.
KRISTEN ABANDON
At the start of the dream I purchased two packs of cigarettes and
returned to my basement to smoke a cigarette and browse local
upcoming events. (Note: in waking life I haven’t smoked since
2015). I ended up attending a concert. I was not familiar with
the building in which the concert was being held and it was un-
settling. I passed one of the band members in a long corridor
who thanked me for coming in a most friendly tone. I was con-
scious of speaking (since I haven’t been able to speak since May
2019) so I just responded with a grunt.
I passed the members of the second band and one of the girls
came over to say hello and did some weird sort of lean on me
and I remarked saying “This place feels very questionable,” and
my comment went more or less ignored and I felt like a very neu-
rotic person in that moment to be voicing my impressions out
loud and I’m pretty sure she just walked away without saying
anything.
So I went to have a seat since a couple of young men had set up

some video screening ahead of time. Mora was already in her seat
so I sat down at her left about three rows from the front. Two
girls who I didn't know were seated to my left.
Some video came on. It showed a couple of guys behaving in a

silly manner. I recall one of the guys name dropping his universi-
ty, which was supposed to be funny at the time. “Baker forensics
something something.” I don’t know. Everyone else was laughing
and I just didn’t understand the references.
I was attentive to the girl sitting to my left. Her movements and

gestures were encroaching on my space just a little bit. She was
1654
stunningly attractive. Her hair was black, wavy and long. She was
chatting with the friend sitting to her left and holding some slop-
py red margarita drink in one hand and a bunch of napkins in the
other. She took a sip and then said “Oh, this is good, would any-
one else like to try it?” And she turned to me as if to include me
in her offer but before I could say anything her friend requested
a sip. Somehow I still got some spilled on me and she gave me
napkins on two occasions since one wasn’t enough. This makes
her sound a bit ditzy, but from my perspective it seemed that she
was just not used to any of this and that she did not get out very
much to “fun events.”
At this point we weren't even really communicating. She had just

been polite. While wiping up the mess with the napkin a young
black male sitting three seats over (on the other side of the friend
of the girl sitting next to me) seated in the same aisle leaned over
and saw me and said “Whoa, Tendon! I didn’t expect to see you
here. Good to see you!” He looked familiar but I couldn’t recall
the context from which I knew him so I stuck to generic polite
responses.
Afterwards the girl to my left turned to me and made a silly

comment, despite knowing nothing about me, “Geez, I’m sitting
next to Tendon!” based on what the other guy said, acting as if
it’s a big deal. She didn’t actually know me and only made that
comment based on overhearing the man recognizing me and at-
tempting to be funny. I laughed politely and didn’t say anything
more during the video, which was very short.
After the video was over we left our seats but we didn’t leave. She
stood up, leaned against the back of a chair and faced me and
then introduced herself. I don’t know the exact spelling, but she
introduced herself by her first and second name, which was Kris-
ten Eithne. When I asked about the spelling she went into some
long talk about Irish mythology. She had some last name which
sounded like Ick-giss or Icguis but I'm not sure. She was very ob-
viously Irish, though.
I zoned out a bit while she was elaborating on the surprisingly-

violent details of this myth, alternating between wondering why
she was sharing all of this with me and trying to figure out her
typological profile (my guess was Ne/Ti).
When Mora and I returned home following the event we at-

tempted to find her on social media and found her under the
name “Kristen Abandon” and I only got a few posts deep before
waking, but the posts I did see were anti-war posts with links
to news articles—and pretty violent ones at that—documenting
stories of outrageous atrocities committed by soldiers overseas.
Apparently a village had been raided and a certain few American
soldiers would keep the babies that they found, taking them
from their families, and then experiment on them. One such vile
soldier was stalked and captured by the villagers and later be-
headed and I think the American government was unsure how
to respond, since it neither agreed with his actions nor his brutal
murder. I recall being mortified at the details and reaching into
my pocket for my cigarettes before waking.
I straightaway searched for her on social media after waking up

but did not find anyone resembling her. I did, however, man-
age to find the mythological tale to which she referred (Ethniu),
which is quite fascinating as I had never heard it before and the
details are exactly as I remember them in my dream.
I could barely keep my eyes open and fell back asleep to experi-
ence another dream. Some large dog had hopped my backyard
fence and came in through the kitchen. Fortunately they were
getting along well with the family dog and I wasn’t too worried
about it being there, but then other dogs followed its example
and I had to find a way to get rid of them all. After doing so I
heard a knock at the door and it was Kristen—to my surprise.
My father arrived home from work around this time and she got
caught up speaking with my father and I was growing frustrated
since I wanted to be alone with her to chat and saw her sitting
down and getting comfortable, so I became mopey and walked
outside on the deck (I should probably be embarrassed but this
sounds so damn believable).
A few minutes later she opened the door and came out to join
me while carrying a big bag of assorted candy. She set the bag on
the table before us and insisted on making a game out of it, as
in only taking a piece as a reward for certain actions, lest we eat
through the whole bag without self-control. These types of be-
haviors and her attempts to impose restrictions or gamelike rules
on everyday activities were typical of her and I was finding them
to be quite endearing. We then continued in conversation for a
short while until I awoke.
I laid in bed for a while afterwards and continued to drift in and

out of hypnagogic visions until finally getting up around 5 PM.
It wasn’t particularly interesting.
SPIRIT THEATER
Things with Colleen having to come by train. Uncle Jamie and
I got in a fight. Nanny had a deviated septum... like a cleft lip.
There was a lot to this dream that I never wrote down before
falling back asleep.
I was in a theater. If you fucked up you started all over. There was
a sad story involving a girl I loved around the time of the the-
ater. There was a weird ‘spiritual pit’ by the door in which one
or two spiritual entities taught. It was like a large glass contain-
er in which two entities lived and you had to pass by it to enter
the theater. They were huge and formidable. Some people snuck
past them, but later on they would leave their pit and enter the
theater making sure they recognized everyone and if they didn’t
recognize you you would be in serious mortal trouble.
After sitting in the cinema for a while I went and took a seat at
the bar which was in this long hallway within the outer theater.
The wallet with the camera memory card in it. I had one and I
went to sit at a bar and pay for a drink. Someone saw my mem-
ory card when I opened my wallet. Some other guy had left his
behind. I tried to act naive and concerned when I found it. Pick-
ing it up as it was on the floor by the bar stool. But the memory
card had been crushed and it would not have been possible to as-
semble.
At the very end everyone got up and dispersed and went into a
room. Picking rooms in which to hide. Because one of the spirit
things was going to sweep through the place. They were going
to come through. And I went into a bathroom at random. Pitch
black. No one else was there. I hid in the public shower and cov-
ered my ears out of fright, not wishing to hear the sound of the
1658
spirit as it passed, but I could still hear the force and the intensi-
ty as the spirit came closer and so I folded my ears in an attempt
to block it out but I assumed it was coming for me and I woke
myself up just in time, because it seemed to have found where I
was hiding and I was not authorized to be here.
TRANSFORMER
Every so often I would have to run out to my father’s car, eat a
mint and take a swig from his water bottle. This would delay the
process of transformation. And then there was something you
could do in these cases to help, which was basically akin to steal-
ing a car and forcing someone else to drive it for you. I was so
afraid to transform in the company of others. If the people that I
was with (my grandparents?) ever suspected the problems afoot
I would be in deep shit.
• I was gonna say that it was a bit of a spicy world, but I think what
I mean by that is that the environment was post-apocalyptic and I
would travel around on foot, but I don’t think I did that. I think
I’m just hallucinating.
It was Halloween and I was tired of all my human drummers and

I really wanted a spider to drum for me. I have no clue what that
was all about. There was some guy on the drum kit who I think
was Josh Eppard and I was just like... nah... and I kicked him out
and set up these tiny drums and let the spiders have at it.
1660
SOAP SLINGER
I was in a theater getting ready to watch a performance by some
band with my family. They all came out and sat in stools and
said some things then disappeared abruptly. I went to look for
the bathroom. My grandfather found it in the corner. I went in.
On my way there I encountered this black guy. And I was pee-
ing for like ten minutes, and the whole time we were chatting.
Bathroom was so gross. Shit piled up in the sink literally. Afraid
to use the soap ‘cause it was so close to the shit. Black guy found
liquid soap after I left, so he comes out after me and tells me to
hold out my hands and starts flinging liquid soap across the halls
of the place for me to catch. It was very funny.
I make it back into the theater, now like a normal theater. Some-
one has taken my seat. I’m angry. I wait for Asia to stand up. I
take her seat. I noticed my previous seat was taken by a handicap
girl so I was no longer upset to have lost my seat since I figured
that it could be helpful for her. I’m wearing all of this weird head-
gear and visors and my mouth wrap and a hat. Really weird look-
ing stuff. And later the paraplegic girl and her mother come to sit
down at the bottom row where I’m at, and they’re laughing say-
ing I look like Hitler (why!?), so I take off my mask, and she says
“I KNEW it would be you beneath all that,” because she knew
me when we were younger, and I’m like “What? I didn’t even
know you’d remember me,” and she says “oh yeah! Of course I
do.”
1661
SNACK SPY
I was sitting at the dinner table with my wife and parents. My
wife looked like Jeiezza. We were in a public restaurant. I got up
to go get something and on the way back I slid underneath some
cart and got dirty. An Asian family dining at one of the tables
had apparently watched me do it and seemed shocked by what I
did. When I came out I was dirty because of the floor.
While eating my mother was telling stories and at one point to

demonstrate something that happened she put her hands around
my neck or something that was just a major blunder on her part
and both my wife and I immediately got upset and took the
“What are you doing?!” tone which pissed off my mother and
caused her to walk away indignantly.
Later on, my wife and I were waiting around at a creamery. We

were waiting for that guy to show who we had just met while
crawling in the tube... the agent who said he was a friend. There
were two of them.
Some guy had called my wife thinking that she was someone else
and she was insistent on humoring him and not hanging up, al-
though I don’t remember her reasoning. Eventually she passed
the phone to me and I went into the utility room and I spent
hours on the phone with him pretending I was a girl because she
didn’t want to hang up.
Meanwhile, someone invited all these girls over to my house. I

think they were here to see my sister, but they spent most of the
time upstairs and didn’t really show downstairs all that much,
which is where we were hanging out. This was the Londonber-
ry basement/family room and we were sitting on couches in the
1662
fireplace area. When I came back in the room my wife was lying
on the couch. I stood beside her, she reached up and took the
phone and hung up for me and I was surprised she did so but al-
so relieved (since I just spent a while in the utility room on the
phone with this guy), and then she waved me to sit down beside
her.
There was a part after the phone call that we were getting some-
what intimate and I was either very short or I was on my knees,
and we were kissing.
The two of us raided the fridge and cabinets at two different

points in the dream. Once early on we raided the freezer and we
found these pops or some such and that’s why we went to my
mother to ask if we could take them or if they were for someone
else. At another time... perhaps right before the freezer, we were
going through the cabinets, wanting something sugary, and I’m
like “why the fuck don’t we get snacks anymore... don’t we at least
have pop tarts?!”
I remember my mother working late on the computer and me

and my wife went to see her and talk to her about the snacks. We
later met her back up in my parents bedroom where my moth-
er was showing us some old clothes. I was trying on some weird
robe or clothing that made me look really suave and I kept jok-
ing about how I looked like a foreign spy. And I took one part off
but kept another part when my wife left the room wanting me to
follow her and I followed her down the staircase and I don’t re-
member what it led to but it felt sensual like we were going back
to be alone together. Something funny happened while I was in
the silky robe. People were making noises... possibly the sound of
my sister's friends from across the hall. And I screamed or barked
real loud and staccato like. And it was funny but incredibly stu-
pid and my wife looked at me like I can’t believe you did that
with your throat just for a laugh. This was definitely supposed to
be Jeiezza because Jeiezza is the only person who has ever shown
that level of concern for my well-being so my mind made the
connection even in my dream.
Somehow I ended up going through this tunnel that was very

tubular and when I looked back I realized I was being followed
by some agent and I think it ties in with the comments I made
about looking like a spy in my robe. He chased me at a distance
for a while through this tube and I think this might have actually
led out into the restaurant/creamery scene and I was sitting there
waiting for him to join us, since I think that we had actually re-
solved whatever was going on and were to have a discussion. So
I believe that the phone call part was the beginning or early part
of the dream while the restaurant was the end.
THE SHOWROOM
In the very beginning of the dream there was this little orange
pin dot of gel and I gave it a water dropper and fed it leaves and
put it in a terrarium and it kept growing and it came to life. I had
created life from nothing. Day after day I tended to it. And after
a week it was like the size of a quarter. It was just this little orange
lump of jelly. I remember taking on another sort of pet respon-
sibility at the same time. I think it was a dog. But I didn’t pay as
much attention to it.
Later that night I met up with my parents and grandfather. My

grandfather was attempting to sell me his long car and I was ask-
ing “Why don’t you want it?” But ultimately I was thinking I’m
going to be killing myself soon and I don’t need this. I was watch-
ing a video of two women self-immolating on my phone when
no one was looking. And I thought back to a recent time when
I spoke to some girl or someone and thought that everything
was good but then said something and realized that everything
wasn’t good. Grandfather kept trying to convince me and told
me how the car will renew cards. And I didn’t understand and
asked for clarification. And he says credit cards. There’s a slot up
front... where the radio would be, in which you can stick your
credit cards and have them renewed and some such. And I’m try-
ing to act interested even though I know I’m dying and don’t ac-
tually care. He wanted to sell it for fairly cheap, but I just didn’t
care.
My father, mother, grandfather and I were traveling in the car at

night and went to a showroom. After our arrival my grandfather
made a joke about skinny white girls or something and I made a
similar joke or allusion to his joke later on in the dream. It was a
1665
very weird thing for him to say so I was sort of just highlighting
that. It was like a showroom. We went in, all dressed up. I looked
somewhat gothic and quite elegant. It was this prestigious sort
of gathering. We went to the downstairs level or down the left
hallway. Everyone was gathered. This guy was going around pick-
ing on people. He picked on my father and tried to start a fight.
When I stepped forward my mother stopped me, saying “It’s his
fight.” However, the guy saw me when I stepped forward and
mocked me, and then he turned his attention toward me and no
one came to my aid. And I just stood there not doing anything
while he circled me and mocked and threatened me. Then he
said something like “Don’t you feel sorry for yourself ”
And I said “No, I don’t feel sorry for myself. I feel sorry to think
that there are people born into this world who don’t experience
empathy” and I then went into one of the most strangely com-
plex philosophical spiels about existence and purpose which not
only managed to shut him up but he was clearly struggling with
his emotions while listening to me speak.
I was like “let me just say one thing”, and he permitted me to

speak, but his face was like inches from mine and his impatience
was visible. And I had this whole backstory about how you can’t
have an imbalance. And there’s knowledge and ignorance and
how life and existence relies on something specific. At the end I
was like “And so you know disposition... that which you are dis-
posed to do. This is the key. Treat your nature like a key and fol-
low it. Without feeling sorry for yourself. Just understand that
key and follow it.” And he was speechless and his eyes were shim-
mering as if he were holding back tears and sort of just walked
away and the crowd dispersed.
I went outside and tried to find the parking lot. It was a really
rich estate and I was in the backyard area looking for where
everyone went. And when no one was around I just started
singing “Union of the Snake” by Duran Duran real loud (why
am I always singing New Romantic songs in my dreams?!). Got
stuck in this walkway of crazy psychedelic colors and reality dis-
solved and it was like psychedelic hopscotch, leaping from one
light to another.
PLATFORM
Early on in my dream I was in my New Jersey bedroom and I
woke up in the early hours of morning and spoke with my moth-
er in the living room while my father was getting ready for work.
At one point my mother called us both in to watch something
on television in this weird space that slowly began to look more
and more like the living room of our Londonberry house.
Later on I was with this girl. I forget who she was to me at first,
like she was someone else’s girlfriend and the guy had stepped
out, but we fell in love. There was something with a holographic
suit that freaked me out, like if I pressed the button, holographic
genitals or some such appeared. The dream contained some very
strange sexual overtones and it seemed that everything was done
in preparation for coitus, although nothing ever happened. But
the preparations were all over the place and unrelated. I don’t
even know if there was any actual romance although I do re-
member feeling strongly for her. We had this crazy platform high
up that we made. I was covered from head to toe in some lubri-
cating jelly and I recall the way that she smiled at me. I believe
we were also cooking food at the time. At one point we allud-
ed to funny happenings on the night before as we were at a local
fair or something. It might have only taken place in our memo-
ry though and or during a dream even though I can visualize it.
That room was so unique and factory-like. And I remember that
there was a weird way that I got up onto that platform... like I
didn’t have to climb... like I got teleported up or she brought me
up somehow.
I remember having to fetch something from the bathroom. So

I had to climb down from our great fort while she was setting
1668
something up. The whole dream began to fall apart once I left the
platform. She remained at the platform, but I never made it back
to her. I got lost on the way back from the bathroom. I remem-
ber going to the bathroom and accidentally dumping a drawer
and trying to flush its contents, along with my clothes and other
items that I was carrying in my pocket. It was similar, in appear-
ance, to the Londonberry bathroom. Eventually, while lost in the
hallways, I started waking up, and I fought it harder than ever to
retain the dream. And it was crazy how well I did. Even crazier is
that I didn’t realize I was still in the dream until I just woke up,
since the “reality” into which I was waking in my dream was still
my dream, just a different place within it, although I was lucid.
And there was this lower warehouse floor that had this rare
three-hundred dollar figurine in it but that was after I had al-
ready got lost and short before I almost woke up and actually got
myself back in to the dream but could never find my way back to
her and kept calling back to her but I couldn’t see her image
Dramatic as I was losing vision of her. As I walked about with

my vision growing dim I started quoting “I can’t see your face in
my mind” by The Doors. I was like holding onto her apologizing
trying not to leave. I fought so long to stay, using all these tricks
to regain my vision once it blacked out. And it did return to me
but when I came back I was in a new place altogether... a desert
roadway. I had to try to retrace my memories, but she never came
back, though I still spoke to her, even if it was one-way commu-
nication and I never heard back from her.
I ended up on this road and there was this weird thing where I
pretended to skateboard then my father was mute and barbaric
and I asked for directions from him on how to get back to the
power plant from which I came and which building belonged to

the girl.
CHRISTMAS
It was Christmas, and my mother had come back to life for a day
before dying a second time (on Christmas night). My grandpar-
ents were present and I recall there being a heavy sadness in the
atmosphere.
This was after that part where we were crossing into a different
country or something. And we were passing through that weird
track and I kept losing half or a piece of a gun that I had been
given by my mother earlier in the dream. My mother had given it
to me right before something happened with my father and I got
chased out of the house and had to leave underneath it in hiding
from if but at that time the house was like this rich tower and I
had to climb out the window and go down like twenty stories to
hide.
I played drums at one point in a music store and the gun piece
slipped out of my pocket while drumming and someone had to
help me find it.
After my mother died for the second time, I kept phasing in and
out of these argumentative, anti-Christian bursts in the compa-
ny of my grandparents and they were very upset because I just
couldn’t hold it back any longer how ludicrous the idea of God
is to me.
All of the cereal boxes were almost empty. Walking around New
Jersey living room shortly before being back in this house and
mother dying.
Banners on the wall.
1671
There was a party taking place outside. It was Charldon. I was in

the yard with some people, while there were a lot of people up on
the deck and I kept looking back at them.
My sister and grandmother began kissing in a romantic sort of

way and it was very bizarre to see. Not knowing what to do, I saw
another girl across from me and we began to kiss. I pulled her
forward toward me and we began making out. She had this really
weird mental issue where whenever I kissed her she experienced
these visions and I remember she pictured this dark long cor-
ridor while I kissed her and this ghoulish man walked through
and I could see it too while I kissed her so I stopped kissing her
while the man stared creepily because I didn’t want him to do
something bad and attack her. It was creepy. Totally mental. But
I could see it happening, as if I could see into her mind. I pulled
away just in time. Then we yelled something to the people party-
ing on the deck to keep themselves in check and they all yelled
back... because the girl felt judged but they were all doing the ex-
act same things.
Then the people began walking back and forth cracking eggs on
us and each other. It was a challenge of some sort and seemed
very strange. Everyone had different methods and even egg types.
For instance, one guy had an egg that looked like an egg flower
when it cracked and he placed it on the back of my hand all gen-
tly but then it slipped off. One other kid went about it all creepy
and made me think things were taking a turn and we needed
to leave. He was blocking us in the aisle with the food cart or
something of the sort... a metal kitchen cart... and I foresaw it
and pushed him away. Then my lover made off and hid in the
bathroom stall. We were no longer in an outdoors environment
but in what appeared like a store at the mall. It wasn’t very big
and we could see into the mall. We decided to go walking down
the mall but she needed to use the bathroom first and I wanted
her to use another bathroom in the mall since these bathrooms
were filled with boxes in the stalls like storage and I felt it would
spell an end to the dream. She went. I went on afterward acci-
dentally. Then we came out. Her appearance had changed and
she looked very doll-like and delicate and she spoke to me about
some porcelain dolls. She wanted to change her outfit and began
climbing upon the boxes and climbed into the ceiling where she
was getting dressed. She continued talking and talking while up
there and I’m still on the floor level trying to follow what she’s
saying but she just kept rambling on about something I couldn’t
understand. Everyone had left at this point with the exception
of two Japanese guys. One looked at me with a cocky smile, as
if to say that he approved of my choice of women, and initiated
a weird sort of handshake with me involving the elbow/length
of the forearm. I usually have a hard time following along when
people initiate modern handshakes, with ‘fist bumps’ and ‘hand-
shake-hugs’ becoming awkward because I can’t anticipate what
the other is doing, and so I was surprised and somewhat proud
that I was able to keep up with what he was doing in this case.
The other one laughed and said something in Japanese that I
didn’t understand.
TALL MAN
I spent most of this dream with a tall man. Most of the conversa-
tions I did not manage to recall before falling back to sleep.
At the very end he sent me a long letter that was three pages long,
talking about some music project and how upset he was with the
world and how he and his girlfriend weren’t in a position to do
anything about it and described us as a “Depeche Mode loving
candle making page paging apiarian” or something (wow, that re-
ally doesn’t seem to make any sense does it).
Something about rolls in his body. Weird descriptions that had

been laughing out loud. I was about to ask him if I could add him
to my online social network account. He had a girlfriend named
Sarah. We had been discussing some musician, and I asked if he
heard all the news about that guy, who was found to be a bit
of a shitty, shady person. He told me yeah and told me he (the
shady musician) was publishing a book, and I asked if the com-
pany that keeps putting out all these videos by disgraced artists
to make an edgy buck. So we were just talking about that.
He (the tall man) and I had been hanging out for a while and at
an earlier point in the dream we were working together on a pro-
ject. I remember asking him if any of his band projects ever took
off beyond the first one. And he gave me a historical rundown of
how it all worked for him. Said he started out in Richmond as a
teenager and his band didn’t do well and I think he said someone
was ungodly (I guess the tall man was religious).
1674
DEVIL DOGS
There were these demon dogs—two of them. It was implied that
one was a woman and one was a man. And though they seemed
like these small puppy dogs, they were possessed. I was outside
at night at the top of this long long flight of stairs sort of duel-
ing against them. The feminine one has a more smiley looking
mouth and I could see a smile glowing in the dark. The other one
has a more aggressive face which could be seen glowing in the
dark as well, so it was creepy to just see these facial expressions
glowing in the night even when I couldn’t see their bodies. I kept
trying to force them down the stairs away from my home, which
was apparently at the top of this extremely high outdoor staircase
that felt like it led up to like some Olympian temple, and to keep
them from biting me but eventually one did slip by and enter the
house behind me, then both. I think. The house was completely
dark and unfamiliar to me so I couldn’t hit the light switch for
some reason even though I think it was my current house. Not
sure why the lights were off. I was scared to encounter it. I went
and woke up my parents asking for a sword. They didn’t under-
stand. I only found a broom pole and asked if this was sufficient.
They still didn’t understand why I needed it. I still kept going
around hoping to find a sword. And then I was like I need to find
another sword... and then I stopped and am like “Isn’t that the
name of one of my songs...” I remember coming around at one
point and seeing the male dog at the top of the stairs, his scowl-
ing face aglow in the dark, so I went up and attacked him, and we
battled, but it was weird because I kept feeling wrong to be doing
what I was doing and it was not helped by the response of others
to me who did not sense the demonic presences and just saw me
stabbing at these cute little dogs.
1675
I wish I remembered more about the game that came after the
dog stuff settled down. It was like seven of us sitting on a couch
taking orders and playing something. I was eating the capsules
too slow (pill capsules) which was part of a game we had all been
playing. Another girl came in afterwards and commented. Asked
what I’m still doing. I said that I’m Taking long time because my
capsules are actually filled with kratom powder. And because it’s
hard for me to swallow. So I was sitting there chewing them up
like candy. Very gross, because it was plastic and it felt very real-
istic. I ate about ten or eleven but still had like twenty to go so
I just stopped. The two of us chatted and joked about a couple
things. She wasn’t my type but she was nice. This was all in the
living room in my current place. Like the actual living room near
the entrance. On the couch. Though it seemed very large. Imme-
diately after giving up on the capsules I went to the kitchen and
got something to eat... some snack cake or something, and then
I sat back down on the previous couch and struck up a conversa-
tion with the girl until she eventually left. Or maybe she was the
sister or mother of the boy in the kitchen who was speaking to
my mother.
I overheard my mother speaking to a little boy in the kitchen. He

was very naïve and maybe even had learning disabilities. He was
listing action heroes, like Rambo and Rocky, and I remember
him saying something weird like “Is Dick Cheney the opposite of
Rocky?” and I burst out laughing from the other room in confu-
sion over what they could possibly be discussing. Like, they were
just pitting random people against one another. A minute later I
hear him wanting to show my mom something, and then I hear
metal music playing, so I get up and enter the kitchen, because
the music was okay but not great—very typical melodeath—so I
figured if he liked that crap then he would really get a kick out of
Holographic Universe.
He had a little iPad and it had a video going on with the head
of a person or a woman all tribal in a crowd all dark and it was
all mechanical and lip synced to the music and I was like damn
that’s kinda cool because it was the best example I had seen of
that technology. And the boy was asking why it was cool, why
I was thinking it impressive. And I was explaining how it was
made and how I hadn’t seen it so accurate with the mouth move-
ments before and compared it to some app we had in the phone
but better. Like the morph thing app with all of the yellow dots
all over the head for articulations.
Then I went to say something like “What is this I hear about

Dick Cheney getting beat up?” but my mother started talking
at the same time so what I was asking went unheard. I never
showed the boy the metal recommendations since he was getting
ready to leave and only stayed for a couple more minutes
I vaguely remember something weird about throwing away a key,

and purposely so.
CRYSTAL
I was standing in the hallway of a dormitory, sort of creeping
about. One of the girls, Crystal, who lived in my building was
apparently a stripper or some sort of erotic performer, and for
whatever reason I was familiar with her. I waited around for a
sign that she was coming, even though I didn’t actually know her
on a personal level, and when she was coming down the hall I
pretended to know her; and given the nature of her work, she
didn’t immediately shoo me away because I suppose she thought
she might have actually met me before and didn’t want to be
rude or make a big mistake, as in talking down to someone who
was potentially one of her employers or some such. So I inter-
cepted her right before her room and went in with her by acting
as a friend. I don’t believe there was any romantic intent. It just
seemed that I was bored and seeking some company.
Her place was very small and laid out much like my sister’s old
bedroom in Londonberry. I simply took a seat on her bed and
sat there holding conversation with her while she fixed her make-
up and cleaned up. After a while of sitting around she let on that
she was hungry, so I asked if she would like to go out to eat and
she accepted. We took a car down to a little restaurant with a
sort of Middle Eastern or Mediterranean vibe. On our way into
the restaurant, after getting out of the car, I was making awk-
ward conversation, like “I never see you online anymore” and she
would just come back with these polite but terse answers like
“Oh, I’m still there.” The restaurant also had a little shop area in
it like a lot of Middle Eastern places, so we explored that a bit
beforehand. And we were walking through the aisle. I was being
super silly and I noticed I was acting so much more free around
her than other people I was normally with. And I had apparently
1678
gone out with several people that day, perhaps not romantically,
but I wondered if the people in my environment would notice
that I was acting differently with this girl, since I guess some of
the people around me had also seen me earlier.
Like I remember we walked into the store, we were in the pro-

duce section and a song is playing over the speaker and it’s just
like “cooooo” and she starts singing or tells me to and I do it
and I sound like a little kid and she starts laughing loudly within
the restaurant. The restaurant had a dark but cool and eastern at-
mosphere with tables and aisles, and I remember her doing some
demonstration in one of the aisles.
Over the course of the dream she seemed to be falling for me, but
I could never know for sure, and she was being stubborn because
it apparently wasn’t normal for her since she didn’t usually date
(I think her job had ruined the concept for her).
After the restaurant we ended up being picked up by another

car, which was an SUV. I don’t really know who was driving or
what their relation was to us, but there was a man and woman up
front, with the man driving and the woman sort of just listening
in on what we were saying. I recall we passed by a school while we
were driving. It was a typical sort of school and said GRACE in
big letters and had a jungle gym. And I remember going “Ohh-
hh, it was dedicated to Grace Jones, not Grace Slick. Shit, I’ve
been wrong this whole time.” And there was something about
how it was supposed to have a huge crazy slide or tunnel design
that went through the whole thing but they never went through
with the original vision.
The two of us were being extra playful during the car ride. At one
point she was looking out the window at the clouds in the sky
while we were driving and I heard her say something to herself
about it being ‘a day without sadness’. It didn’t seem like she in-
tended for anyone else to hear her. She seemed to be having a
hard time admitting how much she enjoyed being out with me,
but I could tell, and I was intent on getting it out of her. She was
just staring out the window like she was embarrassed or contem-
plative, not upset or anything. We continued to talk, and a few
minutes later I was up close to her face and said something about
it being a good day, and she was like “But what is a good day?”
And she suddenly seemed to be putting up some facade of stub-
bornness and disinterest. I responded by saying “A day without
sadness...” And she denied that today was such a day, but I re-
minded her of something she said a few minutes earlier which
was just the opposite and she smiled because I was right and I
had caught her, though she didn’t think anyone heard her.
We were listening to something on a phone or the radio and she

liked it and I wasn’t crazy about it but I sounded into it because
she was and I said “It’s like retrofuturism,” and she responded
“Yeah!” even though I couldn’t tell if she actually knew what that
meant. It was kinda beep-boop electronics like simple Kraftwerk
kind of stuff and I said “I know... let’s make music when we go
back! Let’s start a band!” And she was asking if I had the right
instruments and equipment and I was like “Yeah I have it all!”
And she perked up and seemed really into the idea and I was en-
thralled that she seemed so enthusiastic. I was so happy. And she
was okay with singing.
I had my cell phone out, and I was writing little messages in the
notepad and then showing them to her, like “I can’t wait to make
music with you.”
In the final scene of the dream the two of us were seated very
close to one another. I was in the middle seat. She was just staring
at me with this look, so I quietly asked her permission to kiss

her, and she said yes... I got in one kiss, as in our lips touched
once and rather abruptly, and it seemed like we were coming in
for another kiss when she suddenly turned her head back to look
straight ahead and she said something like “Okay, when I want
more it will happen,” in a sense that seemed she was trying to be
in control and I laughed and said “You’re like a mercenary or an
assassin...” and then I put on some funny, monotone Russian-es-
que accent and say “Consider the lip licked.” It sounded so fun-
ny and we both started cracking up with laughter. The two peo-
ple sitting in front of us in the vehicle both turned around with a
grossed out look on their face because they had missed what hap-
pened and had no idea what was going on.
At this point I remember really focusing on the music that was

playing on the car stereo and I turned to the front of the car and
I’m like “This part of the song is soooo good.” And I realized
I had my feet up on the panel/console... like where the radio
would be and I felt bad and tucked them back under me, sur-
prised no one had said anything.
A minute went by and we’re still laughing somewhat at what

happened but when I tried to repeat it I couldn’t and I said “I
don’t even remember what exactly I said.” We were still in the car
when the dream ended, but it ended on a good note.
DRY KISS
This was from the night of the mad philosophy, as I call it, in
which I was ‘woken up’ in the middle of the night by this bizarre
philosophy which caused me to block out part of my brain and
do all of these weird shifts and left me with severe heartburn and
nausea. It started affecting my dreams, and in my later dream as
I was walking around the house I was working on philosophy.
JP was over and was hanging out with my sister. I went to see
them at one point. It was Charldon. It was also supposed to be
the modern day. I don’t remember how it came about but they
joked that she had once had a huge crush on me, and I was sur-
prised because that had never occurred to me. The next morn-
ing, I suppose it was, I went back to see them, and when my sis-
ter went downstairs and I went in there and spoke with JP, we
were laughing about old stories, and she was talking about things
I never realized, like something about jizzy napkins that were un-
der someone’s glass and when they removed it it was all sticky
and weird things like that. My mother was in the other room and
was laughing because she was able to pair a bluetooth speaker
with one of Asia’s devices in a different room and so she was able
to eavesdrop or interfere with something she was doing.
I remember my sister trying to get in her room and she was peek-
ing in while JP and I were talking but I closed the door on my
sister’s face since I wanted to be alone with the girl. The two of
us then kissed. There was a little preparation for it, like we knew
it was going to happen. Like we wanted it to happen. It was a
very good kiss that was very different from the other kisses I’ve
had in my dreams though I wouldn’t know how to describe it. It
was a little awkward because my bottom lip was really dry and
chapped, and this caused us to stop after only about three or so
1682
goes. And she commented about it like “I think I know what the
problem is” and up until that point I had seemed very cool and
composed but suddenly I felt like my attitude was a little more
desperate, like “No! Wait! I’ll put Vaseline on it!” So for a little
while I was licking my lips and trying to moisten my lip so that
we could kiss again. I don’t think we kissed again though. Or we
might have quickly, just to see if it was better, and it was, haha.
But then I had to go to some court place, and I remember walk-
ing down these long halls and speaking with like these 1960’s car-
toon characters and telling them that the last time I was here I
met with a psycho who was this giant beady-eyed bird. Then I
went into a private room, looked into the mirror and saw I had
a blonde buzz cut and was looking for water with which to swal-
low my pills but the bottle was empty.
BROWN SUGAR HEAD
In pew at church. I went over to stand behind that one girl. Next
to her. There was that weird kid in the row with us. In the oppo-
site end, and he was doing something weird like sending some-
thing shooting at us across the seats like a stun gun
The girl I was with, it was SM I guess. She turned back and
shouted to the guy two rows behind us about what movies he
liked. And she asked it in a very weird way, like very formally ask-
ing him which of the movies from the past two years have been
his favorite. And he didn’t hear or understand her for the first
two times she asked because it was so out of place. It was annoy-
ing and loud but I was cracking up at her nerve. This all hap-
pened because I commented how he looked like an actor.
Then we (me and SM) were driving and I was talking about com-
ing back from Texas. Then she took me to a (vacant) flea market
at night and drove right up to the tables on a dock-like thing. I
was like wow is this a flea market ‘cause I was just thinking about
wanting to come to one of these. I got out. My hat was weird,
because I had a bag of brown sugar or something on my head,
and then my hat was on top of that. I did this when not around
people to maintain the shape of the hat or something but sever-
al times I went out in public forgetting to remove the bag so I
would accidentally enter a gas station or restaurant with a bag of
brown sugar on my head.
Then she went walking into the night and I solemnly asked “do
you have a means to protect yourself if someone comes at you
in the night” and she was all carefree like “nope” and I’m just
like jeez... and I asked just as much because I myself was afraid of
being attacked. We’ve wandered over to this restaurant or some
1684
such. She went inside. Then came out. Then I went over. Set
down my brown sugar and fixed my hat (it was like I was tying up
my bicycle outside a store, except far more bizarre). Then I went
inside.
There were these two girls in the store who tried to set me up.
Making some ridiculous and jerky jokes about me and how I was
a woman who needed woman products or something nonsensi-
cal. They were communicating via headset or intercom or walkie
talkie from across the store and kept harassing me, And so I fol-
lowed it down to where she was doing it, found the transmitters
and I snapped both of The trAnsmitters in two. I guessed which
ones were them because they looked like cat toys. Not like for a
cat, but they had cat designs on them and stuff... the walky-talky/
intercoms.The girls got really upset and said they were gonna sue
or something and I didn’t care. Then I went outside to find SM.
It was now night again. Since it was dusky when we got here.
This was when I woke up. And right before I woke up I was
thinking I should have probably waited until others were in the
store and then let them on to what I was going to do and then
paid them money just to get witnesses before breaking the trans-
mitters... so I was worried that the others had more witnesses
than I did and would win if I got sued.
OUR LIKE SWORDS
Early on in the dream I seem to remember being in some sort of
school type room, but my memory is vague.
I was out on a walk with my family through these neighborhoods

that seemed like the areas I would walk in my youth, like the
hilly Sturbridge Oaks, where I learned how to ride a bike. I recall
my mother and grandmother going down a hill in a wagon and
nearly wiping out, as my mother would never just sit still. She
would change poses like ten times on the way down... standing
up with her foot on the wheel and and then all sorts of weird
poses. But somehow they never actually wiped out. My sister and
I followed behind them at a slower pace while remarking at how
we couldn’t believe they hadn’t wrecked.
A guy was moving into the neighborhood who would be setting

up this ministry program. So when I learned of this guy I didn’t
want to be witnessed to and wanted to get a sword so I could
walk around with it and keep him at bag, and I asked for verses
that spoke about swords. At first they were sighing at me when
I was going on about it but then they started helping me think
of things to write on it and I was cracking up. Because this was
a neighborhood in which I walked regularly apparently and I
didn’t feel like being proselytized to while out in my walk. The
verse that they gave me was “Our like swords as much as our like
water,” and... as you can see, that doesn’t really make any sense.
I think that “our” replaced the word “we”, so it was like “we like
swords as much as we like water”, and somehow it made sense at
the time. And so we sat there making jokes about what to put on
its and they said something mean things for the sword... things
mocking my lifestyle, like like “Sits in his room.” And then Asia
1686
said “Kori.” So I respond, laughing at what she said, “And then

when the sword slashes it goes ‘diarrhea!’” And there was a pause
before I said, “Oh... Kori? I thought you said curry.” It had been
so long since someone called me that that it didn’t occur to me
that that’s what she was saying. I thought she said curry, so there-
fore I thought it funny that it made some sort of gaseous noises
or something when it was swung... apparently to imply curry giv-
ing one a stomach ache.
In the next scene I was on this deck as my mother was waving

goodbye. Though I don’t think it was she who was leaving, but
my father and I. It felt like war time. We did not appear like our-
selves, and appeared to be some Middle Eastern family, and my
mother was a different woman, appearing fully Iranian or some
such and quite skinny in comparison to how my mother was. We
kept saying goodbye through the fence posts on this deck, and
then she went over to the left side of the deck and she stood up-
on trash cans to say goodbye and to see eye to eye with us one
last time. She climbed up and she held out her hand and I took
it and I kissed it and I cried.
PIRATE BOYS
A group of people showed up at my Pine Hill house. I was wear-
ing a beanie or two beanies. I think they were Asia’s friends. Just
three weird boys with bad haircuts dressed as pirates. I made a
comment about that old show One Piece but I don’t think they
got the reference. And they were wearing shirts I later realized.
Then while sitting on the couch with a girl and she tried to re-
move my hat so I got up and left and went into my (current)
room for a while to get away from them and work.
Later on all of us went to a store but I had both of my hand mas-

sagers on me (in my pockets) and feared they would think they
would think I stole them from the store. And I was gonna tell
them my pink ones came from online and tv so if I got to pick I
wouldn’t have chosen pink. Then I went over to the wall of fans
and just stood there enjoying myself as the fans blew on me.
At the end of the dream these people were trying to film a movie
remake scene by scene and I was hiding in the hall trying not to
get on camera, but then when they went by I snuck past them in-
to the kitchen with some of the others and tried to eat up some
of the remaining cookie pieces on the stove in a tray but they all
turned like molten and I was like “is this safe to eat?” They said
yeah but I didn’t go for it. My dad was gonna be there shortly to
pick me up.
1688
GARROTE
I was sleeping over Nanny’s. I don’t remember seeing Poppop.
Me waking up in the middle of the night and just spending time
browsing through my phone and doing things. It was comfy
though. And I was like damn maybe I should wake up in the
middle of the night and then get tired more often, because it
made me appreciate the bed more just to be in that sleepy state,
but I was soooo tired though.
Then I woke up to Buffy (my grandparents white miniature poo-

dle which they had from around 1988 to the mid noughts)
wrapped around my neck all weird and I was like what the fuck
and got her off. I was going to tell Nanny about it but she walked
out of the room too quickly after it happened.
Woke up at 1:28 PM and didn’t know how I was gonna get

home. Checked date, it was a Tuesday. The music seemed loud.
After waking up I got to my phone and it wasn’t turning on. Af-
ter a minute it worked. Then I opened my writing app and start-
ed typing only to realize I was imagining it and not actually writ-
ing it down. I was lucid so I was trying to document my dream
but it wasn’t real life, obviously.
Later I was browsing a forum on my phone and someone was

talking about something similar... with their dog wrapped
around their neck while they slept. I remember the television
playing in the background. A song on the television was a pop
punk song called the Sleep of God. Maybe that was the band.
The garrote part. Nanny came into my room in the morning and
was asking for me to hand her something. “Can you reach over
and put the garrote on the counter by the canister? '' and I’m
1689
leaning over and reaching where she is pointing but I don’t know
what she’s pointing to. “Where is it?” “Right there” and I’m like
“Wait, what is it?” And I’m looking at her and she’s not saying
it. She’s just staring blankly and hesitantly. Then I realized what
she meant. And I go “the necklace?” And she goes yea, so I found
what she wanted and put it on the counter. A moment later she
was like “You know why I was asking, right” or something like
that, and I was like “yes, I know.” It was a choker necklace and she
was trying not to use that word in front of me and so she referred
to it as a garrote but I’m not sure how that is any better.
I went to a gas station to get some special assorted candy which

was when the stocks were low so they started combining shit in-
to this hodge podge mixture. I wanted something that looked
like pez. The woman at the counter says okay I can give you
this three pack and I’m like okay. So then I just stand there and
sort of start growling, while she’s waiting for the money, and she
starts up this conversation. I guess she means to be respectful but
she’s just waiting on me to pay her. I’m digging through my wal-
let and I’ve got three nickels and I’m like is that not enough, and
she says no. In my dream they were treated as quarters but they
were definitely nickels. Then I found a dong coin in my wallet?
Some foreign currency called a dong? And I asked if they would
take that but they said no. So I went across the room. Apparent-
ly my desk was there so I began rifling through it for change and
found a dime or two. Then, once again, I started replaying it in
my mind while thinking I was writing it down in my dream jour-
nal but I wasn’t.
ODDBOY
I was in a department store. I was shopping, and there was this
strange red-headed kid who was extremely volatile and ugly and
weird. Oh, it had to do with Christmas and he was extremely
agitated, because years ago I had told him to ask for whatever
he wanted and given him so much hope and then he asked for
something and he didn’t get it from his parents. First off, he only
asked the day before Christmas, so it was too close to the date,
but he was so begrudging and hated the holiday for it, and I was
trying to talk sense into him. I forget what the item was. I re-
member what it looked like in the aisle, because he got all weird
when we were standing by it. It was like a black jet toy, but that’s
not what it was supposed to be. It might have been some sort of
boy version of easy bake... like an oven toy in which you make
things. There were Barbie toys in the aisle and he was just an-
gry and breaking things and being very demented and I tried to
calm him. I was secretly thinking of buying the toy for him even
though it was like $120 and I told him a story about how I had
recently told my parents not to get anything for me for my birth-
day but changed my mind last minute and asked for things but
I did so too late and I didn’t get them but I got other things
instead. I mentioned something about my grandparents, and at
the part where I brought up my grandparents we ran into them
in the store and I’m like that’s weirdly coincidental, And they
wanted to talk to me, but this guy that I was with made it awk-
ward, and Poppop put his hands around the guy’s neck in a weird
way for no reason while talking about genealogy or something.
Then we talked for a few minutes before they said they’ll be at
my house around 8 for thanksgiving and I was like okay.
1691
The kid was just so intrusive, but I kept trying to be nice to him
anyway, though it seemed no matter what I did, he was still ex-
pecting more and wouldn’t leave, so I had to make more and
more promises.
Eventually I went back to my house. It didn’t look like any house

I’ve ever actually lived in. The guy had come over with me, al-
though I’m not sure if I invited him or not. The two of us were in
this furnished attic room that combined a recreation room and a
kitchen. I was making food for us.
Before we turned on television I tried to play music over the

speakers but most of my stuff was downstairs in my bedroom. So
I took my phone and plugged it up to a jack but then I couldn’t
find the albums I was looking for. I was looking for Mercyful
Fate, but couldn’t get to it so I turned on King Diamond’s The
Eye, and it started with “Eye of the Witch” but I skipped to “In-
to the Convent”, so it felt realistic... as in it had the correct sound
and track order as in reality. Then I explained it to the guy I was
with. “Do you like metal? Like 80’s metal? This guy has a crazy
voice.” And he didn’t care, he was just hungry.
I made three pizzas and then he ate all of them, although he

didn’t touch the first trial pieces I made. He forgot they were
there. I couldn’t believe he ate it all. I wanted some. I went and
ate a bit of gingerbread.
I was annoyed that he ate all the pizza but I was okay with being
hungry since it was Thanksgiving and I wanted to come into it
with an appetite. I remember we were in the kitchen around the
end, which was connected to this tv room-attic, and we were
raiding the fridge for sauce or something and I told him bar-
becue sauce is good on pizza but he was looking for something
else. I was also microwaving something at the time. Kale? I don’t
know. I think I realized I had accidentally left something out too

long on the counter in a Tupperware container and it might have
spoiled or I didn’t want to take the chance.
We were sitting down watching some weird Japanese movie. At

the end I asked “But is it short? Is it a movie?” I was so confused
as to what we were watching and didn’t want to be sitting here
for yourself. In the scene I remember, the Japanese guy was swim-
ming in a public pool and his hand turned into a full grown
woman and she’s grabbing his breast and they’re both gasping for
air in the water.
The guy wanted to stay and watch more movies but I wanted to
kick him out ‘cause it was thanksgiving, and my grandparents
were set to come over soon (it was already just past 8:30 when I
looked at the clock) and we were in the kitchen area apparently
even though it was the attic and it didn’t look like any house
known to us. He was just obstinate and didn’t want to leave and
kept wanting to eat and watch movies, and I was like dude we
can do this again later in the week, to pacify him. I said “isn’t
your birthday on Christmas?” And he said “it’s the Monday af-
ter Christmas.” So I kept clicking the tv screen with the remote
to see how much more time remained in the film by the progress
bar on the bottom, and there was only a few minutes left of the
film so I decided to stick it out. Really weird.
BEGRUDGING CHAIR
There was a show going on in the Pine Hill attic. Even though
the attic or upper level (parents room) felt like a stage. It was like
an avant-garde performance from an English band. With one
guy that looked like an old artist. The set was long but most of
it was just one Long song, with the exception of a shorter song
at the end and I turned to say to my friend to the right of me
how that was much more enjoyable and I wish they would have
done shorter more energetic songs like this instead. Then every-
one mingled a bit even though it mostly stayed on the lower lev-
el. I remember a bunch of cool adults up top, and there was a
joke made by one of the guys that I was not allowed or being cut
off because of something I did or said during the last party. I said
something about jizzing myself or something and I said it really
loud and randomly after drinking too much. I think that’s what
it was, anyway. So I wasn’t invited back.
Later on I was sitting in a room with a friend or so and my father

was at the other end playing his new songs which had an 80’s
thrash sound. Still sounded demo-y and there were blips and
stuff that seemed incomplete. Then he randomly started talking
about king diamond’s Them album so I went over there and I
was shocked he knew the album. He was trying to recall the one
he liked. I sang a line from welcome home, as well as another
one. Accidentally claimed family ghost was on Them. And then I
couldn't remember the name of accusation chair, and I kept call-
ing it “begrudging chair” or something like that.
Then it was my uncle’s birthday so everyone gave him gifts. He

was displeased with everything my parents gave him... a lot of
pointless silly stuff, gag gifts he had no use for (true to reality).
1694
But he loved the bedding or clothes that Poppop gave him. Pop-
pop then talked about how he listens to what people need rather
than just getting other people what he himself Wants and I
agreed with his take on it whereas my mother always did the op-
posite and got people what she herself wanted.
FRIGGIN LGGRD
My grandparents picked me up, along with my parents and the
girl that I was with, to take us to this office where the girl and I
were to record some music. We had a box of CDs with us and it
was taking me a while to pick one. It was like a bus that we were
in, it was big. And I’m like “You know what I’m just gonna select
one off the first album and then use that one also on the tendon
Levey record.” I forget what we were doing all of this for. The CD
had a back case with an image of an old man holding a baby and
it said their company was called “Being Dead” and their location
was called something like “FRIGGIN LGGRD.”
Before all of this we were all outside running on a hill, Me and

this girl, Following the direction of my parents who had created
a game for us. Don’t know who the girl was. Not my sister or any-
one related. Lots of weird magic in this dream, Like the creation
of the cardinal directions; And what everything actually meant.
Diet Coke part
Before all this we had to force ourselves through that massive fac-
tory. Though that might be an earlier dream since I think I woke
up after that. Very complex course we had to take. And it may
not have even involved this girl
1696
SKELETON IN THE SKY
(Very poor recall today, or I was just very tired and wasn’t com-
pelled to really get it all out before falling back to sleep)
Asia, mom and myself were at this house and there were pretzels
ordered. Honey mustard. There was some fight and I remember
overhearing mom and Asia talking about consciousness and how
it was a lie.
The scene at the end where I was in the hotel and my parents left
without me and I texted my mother in the house across the way
and they were in the car and there was a giant skeleton in the sky
and she sent a text saying “Whoaaaa,” as a reaction to seeing the
skeleton.
Earlier I went for a walk and was sitting by a fountain.
Wait, what happened in that house where I was speaking to that

woman and then that guy showed up wanting a soft serve cone
and she wanted to give him his birthday presents, which includ-
ed a blonde wig (among other stuff ). That woman’s bird got
loose and I grabbed it and helped it back into the cage and then
it tried to escape out of the other door which was open, but we
got it in. It was a blue parakeet. She had many parakeets.
1697
RED NIGHT
I was by the woods in the backyard. Asia and Chelsea were
walking around in the woods. My dad and I got in a fight. He
wouldn’t let me wear my hat. It was meant as a punishment for
something I had done. But I waited like two minutes then put it
back on anyway. And he didn’t say anything. We went walking
through the woods and it led to a place that was nothing like our
property or area. It was weird for me because I never go walking.
And the path took us under an overpass or some under bridge
area. It was dark and wet because a little bit of water ran under
the bridge. There were seals. A seal ran up to us. It was like a dog
and so cute. Then as we were walking, just as I was about to leave
from under the bridge area, I remember I turned around and saw
that there was a HUGE seal behind one of the bridge’s support
posts which I didn’t see until I turned back around and looked
behind me once we were almost out of the tunnel. It was huge
and barely visible. Just its head and upper body, almost creepy. It
wasn’t threatening. It was just shocking. We made it out of the
tunnel into an almost verdant area.
Asia and I talked on the deck for a while outside. I don’t remem-
ber much about what, but we were sitting out there for quite a
while. I was talking about how it was a weird day. I had a box of
donuts on my lap. It had been a while since I ate donuts since I
was nervous but once I ate one I couldn’t stop. I just sat there
with the box, and sort of took little pieces from each to test
which I liked. I couldn’t find Boston crème or custard at first and
was bummed. Everyone I thought was custard was like lemon jel-
ly or something I didn’t like but then Asia pointed out the cus-
tards so I got one. I ate a jelly one maybe too. And first I ate a
powdered donut. I felt bad since I was eating so many (just three
1698
full ones plus a couple pieces taken off of a French cruller) so I

shifted everything around to make the box look fuller and then
left it on the downstairs wet bar hoping they wouldn’t notice
how much I had eaten.
Later on my father and I ended up in some building filled to the

brim with dogs and food. Like a dog party. The house looked
rich like a ballroom, and there were like fifty dogs and food laid
out on plates all over the room. So people would walk through
and help the dogs get food, so I did it too. I came in and helped a
dog reach a plate it was trying to get, on the arm of a couch. Then
I left.
My father and I had another fight on the way back though I for-
get what it had to do with, and I went upstairs and my mom was
sleeping, and I tried to wake her up to help me out with him. She
was talking in her sleep. Eyes were fluttering and rolling and she
seemed like she was waking up but not quite, just lots of sleep
talking and movements. I had to rub her feet for some reason.
She looked like she was in her twenties, wearing eighties out-
fits and skinny again. I got in bed where my dad normally sleeps
and pulled up my 8-track recorder onto myself and started work-
ing on it like it was a laptop, just typing away at the buttons. I
was fearing but anticipating my father would come in at any mo-
ment and berate me for being up here. Since I had ran seeking
my mother’s help because of what he did to me downstairs and I
thought he would kick me out but he never came up.
I was expecting company (band mates... I kept calling it a ‘super-

group’) so I eventually went back downstairs. The whole dream
took place in Londonberry. My father was being an asshole. He
was working on fixing the downstairs bathroom. We got into a
big fight. He said he didn’t care about what me, Asia or mom
thought about him or if we hated him, since he was going to do

what he wanted to do. When I first passed by the bathroom he
asked if I wanted to take a look at the bathroom and see what he
was doing since it was going to look very different and I chose
not to, saying it doesn’t matter to me, and I know that he’ll do
what he will regardless of what I say.
“What a waste,” I told him. “What a wasted opportunity of life.”
He went back to working in the lower bathroom (it was the

bathroom in Londonberry next to the utility room). I was in the
utility room waiting on the supergroup guys who were supposed
to begin arriving in like ten minutes. I checked the clock and it
was like 6:23. I was even afraid my father would prevent it from
taking place due to what I just said to him but he only went back
to working.
When I told him, my father, that my band mates were arriving

soon, I tried to explain that we were a supergroup but couldn’t
remember the word and said like three words at first which
weren’t right. Then he acted like he was going to have to screen
all of the members and this is what led to our fight down there,
because he was trying to get involved and act like had to approve
every little aspect of it.
I went upstairs and looked into the upstairs bathroom mirror

and said to myself “This is going to be the red night,” and what
that meant was that I was going to slit my wrists partially though
not enough to kill myself and then this would signal the event
which starts a chain of events in a dark month which ultimately
leads to the collapse of the family and all I knew... and at the end
of it I would kill myself completely.
I woke up while trying to figure how to cut myself, though I

wasn’t planning on doing it until after the supergroup had left
RUNNING AWAY
I was sitting at a computer in the Londonberry basement/family
room. The thing about hearing from Bryant who said he was us-
ing one of our songs from his own truck. And I was considering
sending him the remasters so it would sound better along with
another track like Joanna bandana.
This is around when the mom thing happened. We got in a spat,

talking about reflections and shadows, and there was this frat
guy standing there with us. The frat guy had disappeared when
I made the comment about reflection but he was just standing
around before that and it was this hostile aura, he was looking for
an opening. told her if you want to know a true hint. I genuine-
ly don’t have a reflection. She laughed in my face and told me to
get away with that nonsense, deriding it as being ludicrous and
something that can be come up with in an instant. I got angry at
her and bashed her head into the nearby printer or desk and she
passed out.
I remember after bashing her head I grabbed these tiny mus-

tache-scorchers lying around (which is what I called cigarettes
that had already been smoked two-thirds or so, and so relighting
them I would often singe my mustache). I went out into the yard,
I left through the gate (this is all Londonberry, even the base-
ment) and I ran down the driveway then took a left and took off
running even though it felt like I was driving. I was smoking a
cigarette. A creepy truck passed by my property playing a horrif-
ic jingle and I went to hide behind my house. At first I was afraid
it would be “one of those vans” that would park at my house so
I was afraid it would park here, but it passed. And when it did
1702
I noticed it was just some orange juice company like Tropicana

and I thought it was insane that it was using such a creepy sound.
After it passed I ran down the street and then got a phone no-
tification or some sort of notification and in my head I immedi-
ately knew what it was going to be. It was a notification letting
me know that the frat guy had filled my scanner or printer device
with meat or something and I was so, so devastated and I was pic-
turing this gross scene. It was a much bigger deal in my dreams
than it would be in real life. I was so angry. I remember thinking
I was gonna have to move out and live with my father. I was bald
for some reason and not wearing my “usual wig” because my wig
along with my cigarettes had been shredded by the frat guy.
At the end of my street I took a right and continued running,

even though as I said it felt like I was driving. While running a
motorcycle came up to my left and it sounded like hair metal.
This guy had a speaker or PA system attached to his bike and he
would just sing hysterical falsetto while driving. He kept mess-
ing up so he would sometimes have to do two takes if he would
crack. Meanwhile I was racing through a culvert like area... a lit-
tle narrow ditch of grass and I was going super fast and collect-
ing speed and I knew it was illegal for that reason, also because
of the possibility of hitting animals. And after hitting the end of
the culvert/ditch I not only nearly hit a deer but almost went
flying into the road, but I was caught by two humans and also a
deer who appeared out of nowhere to help me slow down. Then
I woke up.
IMAGINARY BAZOOKA
I was sitting on a chair in the church lobby with my headphones
and an iPad like thing and an acoustic guitar maybe, and the ush-
er came trying to come by and tell me that I wasn’t getting the
full experience as long as I was writing my own notes and how
they’ve made their own notes and all this stuff that was extreme-
ly pissing me off although I was still just like “no thank you” and
it felt like that one usher guy who was always trying to get me to
go into the sanctuary. And I’m thinking this is awful. I hate this.
I don't want to ever come back here. It's so wrong.
Then I ran outside to get something from my car real quick as the
service was letting out and I was gonna come back in, hopeful-
ly before the halls flooded with people. I remember on my way
back into the church I passed by Troy wearing a Luigi outfit and
I said “looking good” and he laughed and said thanks and held
the door open for me. He was with two small kids.
The rockstar looking wannabe guy with the fohawk and kind of
heavy who just entered the parking lot and parked at the other
end was coming in. I held the door for him. He said something
to me, then I responded. And he goes “wait didn’t you used to
come to church”, and I said yeah, and over the crowd I said “Ko-
ri”, and he goes “that’s it”, but he didn’t know me. I knew imme-
diately he had heard about me from some elders and it was just
like when I went back to calvary and rumors were going around.
This snotty suit guy comes over trying to tell us that this is his
car, and I’m like “Fuck you, dude. This is my dad’s car,” and then
there’s a guy over on the steps trying to tell me that he made an
agreement and the car will be his, and I shouted something over
to him that was insulting and very hilarious and was just like
1704
“Get the FUCK out of here,” but also very childish and both of
these guys just dispersed.
At the very end I turned to the guy next to the car and said “No,
dude. You know what we need is a movie about an adult with
just this childish immaturity like so. Who doesn’t find it funny if
after telling someone off you point an imaginary bazooka aiming
from your crotch?” and the guy is like “No. Just no.” And I’m like
“But it’s not gross, it’s just annoying.”
BUS
I spent the first part of the dream on a bus. It was some sort of
road trip. I kept going over and sitting by that one girl in the back
who for some reason was partly nude. Forget her name. She was
driving at first and I kept bringing her water and asking what she
needed. Then she took a break and the young man with an afro
wanted to drive the bus. Then I tried to get my father to drive in-
stead because I didn’t trust this guy’s skills since he never drove a
bus before and he wasn’t taking turns well. Almost took us off a
bank by the water.
Then we needed to take a rest stop so we stopped at a house of

someone I supposedly knew, but I don’t even think my friend
was there at the time, so it was just me and this half-dressed girl
entering into the house of my friend’s family. Got in conflict be-
cause I went into the wrong room while looking for a bathroom.
It was my parents room. The father and mother flipped out and
another daughter woke up from the commotion. It was a bad
scene. I didn’t know these people that well. They were the family
of a friend or some such and we weren’t welcome. As a result they
made me vacuum/clean and pick up receipts from my last visit...
receipts for allergy medicine that I apparently bought last time
I was here and I had left them all over the counter. Then while
I was cleaning, the girl who came here with me... her blouse was
wide open and she walked into the parents’ room just like I did,
looking for the bathroom, and not realizing I just did the same
thing minutes earlier. They flipped at her (especially because of
her clothing) so I tried to go back and defend her.
The parents left briefly for some reason. It was the middle of the
night. Then the younger daughters woke up and found out I was
1706
here and got excited because apparently they thought I was cool
and came to the kitchen while I was cleaning and offered me ice
cream so we were all like yayaya and got in line for the fridge.
Then parents came back right as we’re all filling up these ther-
moses with vanilla ice cream in the kitchen in the middle of the
night like a bunch of excitable children.
At the end I made it back to our bus. Intercepted Molly who was
walking through the parking lot shaking, talking about the dan-
ger of the places she had just whored herself out to. Asia showed
up at our bus a couple minutes later and ruined my moment with
Molly. Molly had to leave anyway for dinner and I asked if she
would join me for dinner tomorrow.
DIZZY
I was in a theater with members of my family, including my
grandparents. We were watching a long, strange movie. Spiders
were raining down from the ceiling as the movie became increas-
ingly disorienting. I hit Asia on the head when she wouldn’t do
something. She was sitting in the seat in front of me and to the
right. It happened a couple more times within a minute. Then
my family and everyone else walked out of the theater. Asia went
ahead. I didn’t know if it was best for her to get ahead and run up
to join dad and everyone else or for me to get ahead of her and
head her off. On the way out I saw a headset and thought that it
was mine but it wasn’t. “Oh, did I bring my headset? Guess not.”
I walked out last, with my mother. Stood in the hallway while
my grandma went down to the left and looked at bakery items.
A cheesecake. I encouraged her from afar to buy it ‘cause I want-
ed to try it. Meanwhile I was stuffing my mouth with some oth-
er dessert. The rest of the family had gone to the restroom after
the movie. I stood in the hallway watching people—especially
the British people at the reception counter. I was twirling, seeing
how many times I could twirl in a row without stopping... how
many circumambulations. I recall I achieved around four before
getting slightly dizzy and stopping. I then went into the bath-
room and I forget what happened.
1708
SICKO
I was on the computer working on something for a while before
walking out into my Pine Hill living room and taking a seat on
the couch where I watched something on the TV behind my fa-
ther. I casually just took a seat on a pillow next to him. Then
about a half hour later I started feeling weird or noticed some-
thing in his behavior and I asked “wait, are you sick?” And he just
gave a nonchalant “yeah.” I flipped out. I was scared and angry,
unable to fathom why he wouldn’t have warned me, since even
simple illnesses could be deadly to me in my condition. I left the
room and went into the Pine Hill computer room and ranted to
my mother about how I can’t get sick because it would cause my
nose to stuff up and that’s the only way I’m able to breath as it
stands, and if I had a coughing problems it would hurt my throat
and also exasperate my hernia which is already pushing on my di-
aphragm. I was really upset and yelling all of this anti-god stuff
and dropping f-bombs. She left the room, surprisingly taking my
rant alright even though I was saying some very angry things. I
just remember the fear of realizing I was likely to get sick and all
it would entail. It felt like a death sentence in my current condi-
tion. And I was sitting there talking to my mother about how I
didn’t even need to go in there with him but I did it because I’m
always putting forth effort to be around and be kind. But I was
like fuck this. I am never fucking going out of my way and do-
ing anything for people who don’t do anything for me ever again.
And I kept rationalizing in my mind that maybe he wasn’t actu-
ally sick. And just felt worn out or under the weather. And I was
hopeful but scared
I then went back to my current bedroom at one point and I tried

to sleep. I was listening to the same King Diamond or Mercyful
1709
Fate song on repeat, though it might not have been a real song.
It felt like the intro to Evil, though, in retrospect. And I drank a
lot of water from a gallon bottle but I needed to go refill it and
I didn’t want to go pass by anyone. I held off as long as I could
but I eventually had to go fill the water after all. And Asia was in
the kitchen cutting the dogs hair or bathing it. Scarlet possibly.
It was New Jersey kitchen so we got a seriously weird mash of lo-
cations in this dream.
Afterwards I went down to the Londonberry basement when I

could overhear my mother confronting my father. She is telling
him what I said and how scared I am and he is just being unre-
pentant and terse. The way he gets when does something wrong
and totally refuses to take responsibility for it since he feels like
he needs to take a stand for his rights as the head of the house-
hold or something. And she calls him a cold man.
I couldn’t just stand there and listen to it so I went into the room
all agitated after pulling the collar of my red shirt up over my
nose so I wasn’t breathing in his breath. And I said to him “you
still haven’t even offered an apology”
And he goes “nope” all matter of fact. And he was being so cold
and thinking it wasn’t merited. And I stood there and I say “you
are a cold little man” then he gets up to walk as I am talking so I
did a kick where I lifted my leg up high in the air and then just
dropped it down (I believe the proper term is ax kick), and the
good thing is I got him hard. Kicking him in the head, but I ap-
parently did it also in real life and my heel came down hard on
the frame at the edge of my bed which sucks because that’s my
bad heel which causes problems for my walking and perineum.
OUTLAWS
Long before this and maybe in another dream entirely. I was in
my New Jersey house and I had said or done something which
upset my mother. I was in my ceiling bed in my bedroom and
I was with a dog, and my mom entered my room and launched
some type of fuss. I don’t know if she came up and almost as-
saulted me, or simply yelled at me from below. I had to apologize
for what I said, and then the little dog that was up in my bed with
me jumped down to the floor level, shocking my mom, because it
was a significant height, and he went to go be with her, I let him
be because I figure he’d come back to my room before the night
was through.
My father and I were outside doing some work, but the next-
door neighbor was fucking horrific. They had these things set up
in the front property that I don’t even know how to describe. Just
these... not statues... stalls... I don’t know. Things on their lawn
by the trash/street. I was so apprehensive of coming close, and I
knew that my dad had to go over and knock on the door later for
something so I was creeped out.
Then I was outside my house, and the old lady next door was do-
ing something horribly creepy. While me and my dad were peel-
ing off the pink insulation from our windows and there was so
much of it. My dad was higher up near the gutters and I was
just going faster and faster, ripping out huge squares of insula-
tion. And the lady next door was doing a ritual which we could
overhear, and then she entered into a demonic state and we sort
of witnessed her killing another old woman who lived with her
but I refused to look at what was happening. There was an ar-
1711
gument and then lots of howling and creepy noises. By now me

and my dad were on the roof pulling insulation, but then the
woman started to fly and she slowly flew over to my house saying
“Levey, you’re next!” and she was making some comments about
me and I was calling on my dad to protect me, but he did noth-
ing... and when she came after me I started trying to fly up up-
wards away from the possessed woman but I was slow so I took
off flying toward my roadway and then I got chased by one of her
cronies which was a guy who basically came at me with what ap-
peared like a remote control car. The perspective changed at that
point and everything began to feel like a video game of sorts. I,
myself, was like a vehicle driving along the roadways, and I was
followed by that car through neighborhood after neighborhood
after neighborhood and down highways and into canyon, and I
kept taking weird paths in cliffs and sudden turns with the in-
tent to psyche him out, but he always found me, and was always
right behind. It was only when we entered this huge pool room
filled with water and I plunged into the depths, where I drove
along the floor of a pool alongside a giant marine animal. That’s
when I lost him or gained some ground, because I realized he
wasn’t at a level where he had gained the water power-up yet so
he couldn’t swim, but I figured he could still find another way to
me so I didn’t waste any time in doing what I needed to do. I got
to the other end of the room then climbed these tangled ropes
which took me across the wall then to a platform in the center
of the room, then I climbed another rope which took me back
to another part of the room and there I reached the end of the
‘level’ and I picked up a guide in my pocket which told me what
I was to do and it told me to “take the nearest exit and ‘fawk’
back to the house of the John who I didn’t like and get some-
thing something.” Right before leaving through the hall to my
right hand side, I grabbed handfuls of small blue candies from
the bowls in front of me, there were several things but I mostly
got candy. Then I went down the hall. It was long and still had
some water in it and I had to dive. This was where I first encoun-
tered an outlaw... underwater... worst enemy yet... creepy... tall...
wide brimmed hat... scrawny... like a gunslinger, they convulsed
and they would just follow this predesignated path all slow... and
my guns were so slow to kill them. I had to use up so much pow-
er just to destroy a single one of them. After killing the two or
so that were waiting for me in this channel I ended up in a more
open space like a nuclear plant or something with more of them
walking around in between pillars and rooms.
Those creepy horrific guys when they are destroyed they are like
gunslingers, but when they’ve been killed they enter a single fad-
ed still-frame of themselves while giving a quick quote and then
dissolve into a tiny Lego-like block that you collect. I didn’t
know that they dropped blocks at first, and once I realized it I
had already killed about three and went back and collected one
of the previous ones I missed.
Next I was sneaking around this house late at night and I hadn’t
consulted the guide in a while so I didn’t know the coming and
going schedule of the people who lived here and risked being
seen. I guess this was John’s house? So I stood in the dining room
while I teleported. It was very creepy being there, as I expected
someone could pop out at me at any point, so I was relieved to
succeed in my teleportation. I teleported to a picnic event occur-
ring in 2020 where I was sitting at a picnic table with John and
Haley and others and “Play in the Rain - Continued” by Lindsey
Buckingham was playing in the background, and we were laugh-
ing and passing bowls back and forth. John said “That’s what you
get with a kiss on the face,” and I responded “That’s what you get
with a half-kiss on the ASS,” and we were laughing although the

context of what we were saying eludes me now.
THE OTHER ROOM
I was in a house. It was late at night. I realized that the girl I liked
was sleeping in one of the rooms of the house that I was stay-
ing at. I hadn’t seen her in many years. I guess it was supposed
to be Anita, although it seemed generic. I wanted to go in and
sleep beside her but I was very nervous, so I spent most of the
dream in the room across the hall where I contemplated what
to do. A television played in the background. It was a nice bed-
room, reminiscent of a hotel suite. I stared at myself in the mir-
ror and thought “I could go in there now and get some time with
her, or I can fix up my hair and put on a little makeup, but that
might take up the whole of the dream and I won’t get any time
with her.” But then I kept looking at my face and I really wanted
to look good so I went and put on foundation and such. I spent
almost the entire dream putting on makeup and eating snacks
and sifting through VHS tapes in that room. When I was done
I crept across the dark halls, careful not to wake anybody else,
and I went into the room where she was sleeping, which was di-
rectly across the hall from where I was staying. It was dark and I
could see her sleeping there, and I just climbed into bed beside
her. She was only wearing her pajama bottoms. Half-asleep, she
asked who I was. And I told her some nickname which, in my
mind, she used to call me, and she sounded happy to see me. She
was very tired but tried to carry on a conversation with me any-
way as we laid beside one another. I didn’t know what to say, and
so I started commenting about the tapes, the movies, in the other
room. My vision started going dark almost right away after going
into that room and I was very, very upset by that fact because I
knew it would happen but I didn’t want to wake up yet so I real-
ly had to fight to maintain the dream. There were times when it
was sort of cross-fading and I couldn’t tell if I was looking at the
1715
dream bedroom or my real bedroom, but I laid with her until I

finally woke up.
ABUSIVE FATHER
I had been at the house of that guy who was like Lajos, and he
was digging a hole, and he was having me do all these chores to
build my muscles and stamina, and I was going around his yard.
Later I went to the store where I was at the customer service desk
and that black guy and I were talking for a while and he gave me
his phone number to call him back later about some issue.
The following may have been another dream entirely, rather than
a continuation. I was in the Pine Hill workroom/computer
room and there had been this huge fight. I had been sitting there
with two people. One was a fairly normal guy and one was a su-
per weird girl who felt like Cindy Lauper from the 80’s. I forget
what their story was and how they got there, but they were sit-
ting at our old school desks in the room, and then there was a
conflict which caused tons of awkwardness and I flipped out. My
parents had come into the room and done something. At first I
was cool but then I decided I had had enough and went after my
father or mother who had just caused a scene. I left them there...
the two people I was with. Whatever went on in the school com-
puter room... I was holding it together cool for my guests for a
while, even as my parents came in and started saying and doing
weird things. But eventually I snapped.
My mother and I... I think it was my mother... The two of us fol-

lowed my father to a sort of work party taking place down the
street in a big event hall with a spiral staircase where, once we
caught to him, we quickly tried to figure out how to go about
what we wanted, then I suggested we point at him and start
chanting “abusive father” and so we did. We both stood still, our
arms pointing, saying “abusive father, abusive father, abusive fa-
1717
ther, abusive father”‘over and over again in unison probably thir-

ty times, and very loudly and hurt. The people around us quickly
saw and no one intervened, it just became very awkward very fast
and everyone stood around watching while we pointed at him
and chanted. My father then made off, trying to go to the x, then
to the elevator, then to the bathroom. I must have lost him along
the way although I tried to follow him.
Then I stood outside of the event building for a little while which
was also near a Target and as I was walking down the sidewalk
some guy was talking about this recipe that this woman tried to
get him to make. He didn't tell me. I think I was just walking be-
hind two people having a conversation and overheard.
Something about eating dehydrated ramen
Later someone was asking something like “Wasn’t it dangerous

to congeal x due to chemical and structural properties, especially
things from the ‘chew’ state being switched to the gel/‘drink’
state?”
When I came back home later I was wondering if the two guests
from before would still be there waiting for my return or if they
had left and I heard from someone upon my arrival that they
were still present but I looked around in each room and did not
see them. And the house was weird now. I looked from couch to
couch.
After failing to find them I went back out and in the end of the
dream I was sitting in a lawn chair next to a booth that sold
vinyl records playing a Funkadelic record (One Nation Under
the Groove) but I could switch to track seven, and I was trying
to figure it out for a while. It only went up to six on the weird
controller which looked like a children’s toy. When I woke up I
realized that it may be because that album only has six tracks af-
ter all. Then a Mexican guy came and stood in front of me look-
ing impatient and after a couple of seconds I said “Did you want
to sit here?” And he goes “yep” So I got home and let him sit but
kept the controller, although I thought he might ask for that too
at any moment.
SOMBER SUBURBS
Most of this dream took place in this little suburban neighbor-
hood around dusk and so all of the street lights were just com-
ing on and the sky was a dark blue and the houses were all white.
What would happen is I would generate in the general area of
this house and then I would end up getting involved in some
surreal or frightening little skit and often end up dying and that
would bring me back to the house where I would go off and do
something different. Note that this dream took place after falling
asleep during a very difficult night, health-wise, as I pulled a mus-
cle in my throat which was causing me to suffocate and I fully ex-
pected to die. I fell asleep in a sitting position and awoke every
fifteen minutes gasping for air. I am saying this simply to point
out that this was the dream that came from such a difficult and
horrific circumstance.
Early things involved that creepy neighborhood game that was

being played. Where I had to drive next door. And two women
watched a man take out trash and I knew I had to pay attention
to it because this might be called back to in a later part of the
“game” where I was supposed to do something. And I remember
thinking some run from weird was in those bags.
I was in what looked like a model home on a silent street. The

lighting was ambient and eerie. It was dark outside. I was seated
and holding a child, a girl, while my family sat around to watch.
The girl appeared to be possessed by a demon and was quickly
alternating between two states again and again: normal and pos-
sessed. And when speaking to her you had to address her prop-
erly so as to avoid disaster. Once I addressed her by her human
name too close to the time she was switching into demon mode
1720
so she considered it abuse or something and began to abuse me

and she killed me by lifting me up, levitatingly so, and into the
ceiling fans or something. Yet I came back almost immediately...
but it felt like a video game or some such, because I returned to
a sort of system restore point and I was back in the house and
it was empty if not for my accomplice—a Latino man who an-
swered to Ignacio—who no longer recognized me.
When I came back I tried to warn everyone about the girl, warn-
ing them not to call her by the wrong name as it will be regarded
as abuse and she’ll switch and kill you.
Earlier there was this large screen in the living room where I was
picking a show and I accidentally chose Seinfeld since I was hov-
ering over it while trying to explain to my family that my friend
Ignacio reminded me of Kramer, and I think this is when the
possessed girl was around. So it was a no no.
Also there was that time where some neighbor or guy I knew, a
coach, tried to inform me to tape a horror show coming on tv,
but when he sent me the message it sucked my mind out of my
body or my home and I ended up inside of it until it was over,
and I remember being up on this freaky stand looking down at
all this stuff going on, and my body was sinking and having to
be stood back up, I thought the guy was standing mg behind me,
like thinking I had been kidnapped. But he had only wanted me
to watch something. And I remember trying to make eye contact
with the other people in the room. Specifically a woman across
the way. ‘Cause she knew I wasn’t supposed to be there and that
I got beamed there because I was kidnapped or something by my
neighbor
That time I was supposed to drive the black car to the place only
a few houses down... but I drove it into the moat around the
house or something and submerged it in deep water. Not sure

how I got out.
There was that time that I was running through the neighbor-
hood from those dogs. At first I was just walking through the
alley. Then, for some reason, I decided to turn around and go
back where I came from because some guy was walking behind
me, and when the dogs barked he picked up the pace and ran,
so then I turned back around and ran alongside him as I saw an
owner failing to reign in two large black dogs who were after us.
We were chased through this city alley with a good view... and
I forget what happened... Like right as they caught us I think it
switched to a scene where myself and the guy who were running
were now indoors and needed to urinate, so we found this huge
basin and just began peeing in it. That guy who looked like Joel
was drinking from the basin while two of us were peeing in it,
and when he realized we were urinating he accused me of doing
that on purpose and he became belligerent. Just then as we began
to fight the doors flew open and this wild prog rock started play-
ing loudly.
The other guys went running throughout the house when the
prog music came on and we all started singing and lip-syncing
and going crazy and it was so funny. Then Ignacio is like “Can
I take this off now?” while pointing to his belt, and I’m like
“Nooo, number four,”(I was calling him ‘number four’ in refer-
ence to the fact that he was the fourth guy to arrive on the scene)
and another guy hears me and goes “Number fooourrrrrr,” in a
mocking tone. Even though at the time I was thinking maybe it’s
unfair to make him number four since he was technically with us
early on and was previously our third man even if he wasn’t in-
volved in this... basin incident.
CALL
I was out with my father driving around for a while... just a nice
scenic drive. Came back and showered and was considering call-
ing NP and going out that night. But I needed to nap first and I
was super nervous and knew that if I decided I wanted to go out
then I would be panicking and anxious all night until then and
possibly during.
AB ended up calling. My mother yelled down for me to get the

phone and then persisted to eavesdrop for a minute or two. Af-
ter about a minute or two I accidentally hung up on her because
the base of the phone had this weird little thing that got touched
and it disconnected us. Then when I went to call back some oth-
er guy named Greg rang my phone, who wanted to talk about
his problems. He was like “Who’s this... are you such and such?”
And I answered “No, I’m Tendon. I’m a psychologist.” And he
remarked about my name, but then proceeded to share with me
some issues he was having.
Then I ended up downtown in a mall area still taking on the

phone and trying to end the call with Greg who was a total
stranger and I think it all started as a wrong number. I was walk-
ing around with a huge foam block or something and some store
clerk wanted to take it from me. He kept trying to take it from
me. His name was Aaron. That’s what his name tag said. And
I decided he was going to end up as the villain in my story. I
told him that. “You better stop what you’re doing or I’m going to
write you into my story as the villain.” Something like that.
I was going to call back AB but called W instead.
1723
CHURCH THIEF
I spent a long, long time in church, locked in an upstairs room
while service was underway. There was this tiny bedroom in a
closet. I was sleeping in a bed. Then I had a wine glass and I was
drinking and hiding the wine glass under my bed. I was there
for a while. At one point my mom came over and knocked on
the door and we spoke. This is while service was ongoing. She
was pissed because she didn’t attend for one week and in that
week the president had apparently visited our church and she
was frustrated. I would venture out once service started and look
through the vacant halls and closets for things to take. I spent
a lot of time walking through the upstairs halls and just peek-
ing into rooms, which is kinda what I used to do as a teenager
except back then I was just looking for snacks like fruit snacks
and goldfish crackers. I found instruments and cool old tools. I
found a television. So I decided to steal it since they had two.
I didn’t think they would mind. So I got Alex to help me. We
grabbed the television and snuck around to the back entrance. I
remember having some problem selecting the entrance because
we were being questioned and I had to pick up some USB stuff
and other things I dropped and left on a window sill somewhere,
so we went with the back entrance.
Then we left via the back entrance and went outside into the
parking lot. All was okay but when we rounded the corner some
guy slowly approached us saying “That’s a nice TV,” and then
other people slowly started coming out and looking at us and it
became obvious that they were on to us. And he begins shouting
about how we’re thieves, and I slowly just slunk away and left it
to Alex to deal with, saying I needed to get something from my
car at the other end of the parking lot.
1724
There were about three people standing around in conversa-

tion—all of them in the college group. One of them was this
Latina girl. We exchanged a few words in passing as I was walking
from one end of the parking lot to the other. She made some
comment about how I never stop to talk. I quipped “I’m a lover,
not a talker,” or something to that effect, and I kept on walking.
And she made a joke about what I said, or about the thought of
me kissing anybody. So I then turned back around, charged at
her, and I gripped her by the shoulders or upper arms and we be-
gan to kiss. She was more turned on by it all than I expected. I ex-
pected alarm or laughter. So we started making out in the church
parking lot and no one expected it.
While kissing that girl later, we got into some weird discussion
about kissing techniques and then referenced some videos which
were helpful but we became caught up in how the videos were
filmed from a first person perspective and the girl would have to
have a small lapel camera kind of thing clipped to the roof of her
mouth and it was creeping me out because it seemed like such a
hazard. But yeah me and that girl totally made out. When I first
came at her... the first couple seconds were kind of weird and not
perfect. It just felt flat and like I missed. Probably because she
wasn’t kissing back at first. But then as she joined in it became
super sensual and we were just making out in the parking lot.
Then there was that thing where all those girls dressed in laven-
der popped up and formed a wall in front of us while we kissed.
They were on the edge of the church hill. And I announced it;
saying “What’s with the lavender wall?” And they said that I
need to say “Take care of yourself ” or “Take care” to more peo-
ple, and they were scolding me, telling me I needed to say it to
each one of them. But I was like what the hell, in disbelief. I said
“I end all of my emails in ‘take care’... what is this about” and so
the girl I was with (the one I kissed) gets annoyed at the fact that
they are distracting me from the kiss and launches one of the girls
over the edge of the hill. The lavender girl hits the bottom, bursts
into flames, and so the girl I’m with is shocked and goes down to
get her, and she was like “Oh geez, that wasn’t supposed to hap-
pen.”
As night began to fall and people began to break off into little
pockets in the parking lot, Asia and I were sitting in the parking
lot waiting for my father to come out. Then. For some reason,
we began singing Duran Duran’s “The Reflex” and we put on the
craziest acapella performance in the church parking lot. We did
it perfectly. Bungled the lyrics several times, but it sounded won-
derful and very loud and full and people were gathering ‘round
to hear it. My father showed up partway through the perfor-
mance so that was kind of embarrassing since we still had to do
the song while knowing he was watching. But we kept going.
Then we went to the car. It was the Bonneville, which we haven’t

had in well over a decade. Asia called shotgun. I was pissed. I got
in the backseat and it was all cramped and I was calling it ‘the
butthole of Satan’. And I was like “I’m sooooo thirsty and hungry
after all this shit.” Then we made a quick stop at a convenience
store and I ran in to get something. I remember looking at some
sort of chocolate SunChips or something of that sort. Nothing
caught my eye so I didn’t really get anything, but on my way out
there was a guy in front of me who kept behaving oddly; a mid-
dle-age guy who seemed kinda hick and out of it, and he would
swerve a little bit to cut me off each time I tried to pass him.
He was just very weird, and his movements were coordinated to
match my own even when he was in front of me and not look-
ing at me. Then when we got toward the entrance of the store
he seized me and wouldn’t let me go and was like “What am I
to do with you?” And I’m like “My dad is waiting out front in a
running car,” and he didn’t believe me and laughed. So he kept
saying weird shit about me being in trouble and then he was like
“Where do I take you?” And I repeated myself, saying that my
dad and sister are right around the corner, so he agreed to walk
me to them. When we approached the car my dad looked up and
peeked out and commented about my predicament, not know-
ing what was going on. It was something like “...and he’s attached
himself to someone else?” I don’t know. Some weird comment
was made at seeing the black cloth around my hand that attached
me to the guy. Yeah, it was like this black pantihose or latex cloth
that the man tied around my wrist to apprehend me and he held
the other end. The guy then informed my dad something about
how he was just helping me be more aware of my surroundings
and all of this really weird drunk sounding talk. But then at one
point when I said something about how I had been aware of him
the whole time, which was true, as I noticed him as soon as he
appeared in the store, he commented about some earlier event,
and I was like wait, We know each other? And he was mention-
ing motor oil or something else from years ago, and I was like
wait, are you Mark’s friend? And he confirmed it (although this
was not someone I actually knew in real life). Some guy that was
apparently associated with a couple of musicians I briefly knew
back in the day. So then he starts telling me how he thought I
was a deviant back then... when I was eighteen. Explained that I
used to do drugs back then and hung out with weirdos but that
I wasn’t a deviant but a good guy just trying to find himself, and
that he doesn’t need to worry about me not being aware of my
surroundings since my paranoia generally takes care of that for
me.
ALL-NIGHTER
I forget the circumstances but there were like a couple dozen of
us that got locked out of our rooms for the night and we were
left to wander around in this giant mall or some such. It was this
huge main story place and we were all standing around when the
buzzer sounded off around 1 in the morning and said that the
doors lock in fifteen seconds and at first I was like uh oh but then
I looked around and saw everyone else just deciding to wait it
out. Since all of this was new to us we were all deciding just to
stay up all night and I was like I don’t know if I can handle that
with my physical condition but then I figured I’d sleep in the
dumpster outside of my room if I got tired.
The whole place was white. It was like this jail-mall hybrid,
though there weren’t stores or anything. It felt like a beehive in
the way that it was storied. And a couple dozen of us were there.
One guy got really bored after a while and was asking people
to start kissing each other for his amusement. He joked about
me kissing a girl and then pointed at someone not realizing it
was my sister, and I was like “dude that’s my sister.” It was funny
though.
At the end of the dream I was inside this little cubby and this girl
named Mary comes by and gives me all her old toys. She dumps
all of this stuff in my lap. This is after I got all excited about
finding a pokeball in the dumpster outside of my room and she
saw me and asked if I wanted her old stuff. Then after we looked
through the toys we talked and I asked her what she was going to
be doing all day now that she was going to be awake.
1728
MEANING V FLOW
I remember waking up in the middle of the night when mom
woke up Asia who was sleeping nearby about there being some
special peanut butter chocolate cookies. She didn’t know I woke
up too. So I snuck out when she didn’t see and grabbed one also.
It was funny. Then I went back to bed. Woke up in the morning
hoping for more but they were gone as there were only six or so
to begin with.
Later I was chatting with that girl. I remember some of the things
we talked about. But my phone started lagging and I couldn’t
type normal or respond or see what she was saying
All these black guys lying on the floor doing rap camp. One ei-
ther had no arms or had them tucked into his shirt and was rock-
ing. All supine. They were asked if flow or meaning was more im-
portant. And argued. One big fat guy argued in favor of straight-
forward meaning. And I was like yeah man when I passed by
1729
AISLE
Earlier I was with Isaac and maybe Alex and that giant guy in the
warehouse playing some weird catch game. That was the first or
second day here. I was very social. Second day I went out and
was talking about animals with Asia in a forested area. Playing
that game in Best Buy where there was a super narrow aisle and
I would go through it and then get in trouble when the guy fol-
lowed me back. And we ended up being beer buddies but it was
implied and never shown. Like we planned to go drink but nev-
er did. The next day I had all these beers in my fridge and had to
pick one to keep with me as I went about the town. But I was too
tired. Falling asleep before I even got started. Reddish beer half
full taste like dessert wine versus rolling rock. I went with dessert
wine
Getting dressed. Wore same shirt two or three days in a row

and wanted something different on my final night. In and out
of the bathroom and changing shirts. Weird black firework look-
ing shirts with charity event logos on them. I was super tired but
wanted so bad to go out and told my parents that after a couple
hours I’ll come back and we can all go out to eat
Finally went out and went inside some giant nostril like cave and
strangely knew where I was going. I had been using a public re-
stroom and when I walked out I made a joke causing the guy in
the stall to laugh. It was Doug and I knew it. So I went up top
through the cavernous part above the bathroom. Came across
aliens. Tried to escape. I ran into them and exposed them on the
way out these Chinese guys were forcing “Zhossus” indigenous
people to dress like ghosts of colonialists to scare people away.
And I helped them get found out and in trouble.
1730
SWAY
I was in a theater, and the black guy that I was sitting with... we
were sitting in a very specific spot because we wanted to catch
someone when they walked out. We waited a while and then
when the guy got up and went walking down the theater aisle
toward the exit my friend got up and followed him but I never
saw either of them again and I feared the worst, like later when
I exited the theater I imagined his dead body of my friend left
in the bathroom to rot. I came out and some kind of van was
driving around outside and everyone in the lobby was freaking
out telling me to hide. It was like the old church lobby, foyer,
so the front doors were glass and see-through. So I ducked be-
hind this large cart in the foyer. We were all almost free, but these
three vans were driving by looking for us, or looking for some-
thing specific, like people or orphans or something. They almost
went by without noticing us, but one of the people in our team
wasn’t careful and peeked out a little too early, and the van which
we thought had passed then came back and these people saw us.
Suddenly these people came into the building and I ran into the
office, but I was the first to be taken. The guy followed me in-
to the office and I ran through and sat in the seat. He asked me
questions but I don’t know what I said. I had to comply or be
killed. So I went outside with him and got in the van or some-
thing and sat beside their leader, a woman. I have no fucking
clue how it happened or if it was even sincere at first. I think it
was feigned at first. Like I was pretending to fall for this woman.
These were evil people. Very dangerous and about to kill us and
take us to concentration camps or something to that effect. But
me and her started flirting. And she was beginning to listen to
my requests as if she was swayed by me. At the end we ended up
hijacking one of the vans that was about to escape with my old
1731
friends in it. And we were looking through CDs. And I was like
“Ooooh!” I saw a Tendon Levey CD and I said “I could show
you my stuff ”, and she goes “Yeah!” And she was into it. But I
was like “But listening to it will cause you to take your clothes
off,” and I decided to just throw in a more beat-heavy album for
the car. Then the people were trying to get back into the car, and
at first we were calling the shots. And I thought the girl I was
with would kill the others, but somehow we all ended up in the
back of this car driving off. What the hell. I don’t know why. Like
I guess she fell for me. And the operation just fell through. But
for a while there was just this sense that she would kill me and
the others at any second. It looked like KM sitting next to me.
To my left, while her father drove.
The last thing I recall is the girl to my left asking questions about
the number three or thirty and I was describing pareidolia or
mystical recurrence. While that killer girl was to the right of me.
It was so weird, because now the killer girl was yielding to the
needs of others. So there was just this strange atmosphere, like
are we just gonna go on a road trip or what.
SCOOTERS
I was strolling through the mall/Walmart. While walking
through the narrow aisles of a store I saw J. When I first saw J he
was unresponsive and seemed crippled and feeble just strolling
through the aisle and at first I couldn’t believe my eyes. I didn’t
know if he was ill or just burnt out on drugs. It was weird seeing
him like that and he didn’t seem to recognize me. I stepped
around him to get something, but then after a minute or so I
went and said something to him wondering if he’d respond, and
he did so I was surprised. He lit up when he knew it was me, and
his talking grew more and more normal, as he seemed to come
back to life while talking. Overtime he became more like Alex.
I remember two of the S sisters were seen at a distance. They

were buying or wearing their Halloween costumes. They were
with two other girls. They waved us down or something right
before we went over to the customer care counter where J/Alex
tried to take someone’s mobility scooter or something. It was like
an expensive handicapped wheelchair thing and he kept trying
to make off with it and they would just pull it back like noooo
thinking he was demented and beyond understanding what was
being said to him. So the lady behind the counter offered him
to use one of the store’s scooters. When he rejected the first two
she let him behind the counter to go into the closet or docking
bay and pick one. Meanwhile I remember looking at two of the
scooter models. One of them was really really bizarre in slope
shape and almost totally vertical like a hammock and silver and I
couldn’t figure out how it would support someone.
It seemed to me at this point that he was feigning weakness. So

he was let behind the counter to see which carts they had avail-
1733
able. And I stood there overhearing one of the women beside me

in line talking about how her children wanted to be ET for Hal-
loween but then she would have come up up with two separate
costumes for use in different towns since Lynchburg had a rule
which outlawed certain parts of the original ET costume and she
was talking about how it didn’t end up looking like ET at all with
such guidelines and just looks like a dusty brown man or some-
thing and I was laughing to myself while listening to what she
was saying, even though I was eavesdropping.
JUNGLE SIMULATOR
Following J.S. in a dark house late in the night but I had a wooly
blanket stuck to my feet and was trying to shake it off. We decid-
ed to escape the house. At first we snuck downstairs and we were
starting to be super quiet so as to not wake the parents or any-
one but as we got downstairs we realized that most of the house
was already awake and sneaking around. And then like a bunch
of girls arrived from outside and they were being so ridiculous-
ly noisy we knew that someone was going to catch us all, so he
said how about we just leave and go outside and go somewhere.
Thinking let’s take it a step further, and she was like yeah! Let’s
do it. So we went sneaking through the house. I woke up as we
were in the process of leaving
Earlier on I was in a gas station or some such. AB was in it earlier

too. I think there was something weird about me trying to marry
her even though she was married. We were in a car at one point
and driving. I remember being in the back seat on the left. There
was a little coat rack line thing to the left, like a handle, and it
was like feet away and making me feel unstable. It was like a hand
grip.
I was on my phone, watching Antti Klemi perform some songs

from the upcoming Circle of Ouroborus album. He was tearing
his shirt in a performative manner and shouting and then sung
the first four or so songs off the new or upcoming album. Then
he spoke about the album and how Rauta didn’t want to release
it at all at first and that it really marked their transition between
a dark folk style and something else and so it showed them in
transition trying to figure things out. So they thought they were
taking a chance with it because it would probably be either hated
1735
or loved, but I loved it as soon as I heard it. It sounded very ener-

getic and quirky. And I listened to Antti explaining how one of
them was recorded in 2015 and related to some specific event in
his life.
After all of that I went and played what I can only describe as a
jungle simulator. I guess it was a game that I was playing while
spending the night at this person’s house. I would compare it to
Pitfall, a side scroller. I was listening to Circle of Ouroborus and
playing this game and I just kept falling in the jungle.
Oh, I was with my parents at one point. This was earlier on. I
think this was when I read an article on my phone about the new
album but hadn’t yet downloaded it. They exited the car with my
sister and went into some pharmacy. I had almost forgotten to
put my hat on, so I stayed behind a moment and then followed
them in.
BEDROOM
Order of events is girl, games, bath, bedroom, packing, hat, father,
war zone, arcade, Latin people.
I had been tweaking some stuff in the living room of the B’s
house. It was night and I was looking for something to do. So I
went and tried to move the video game system to our room but
it was difficult and so I sort of just gave up and played a little bit
there. It was the same jungle-like game from the previous dream.
Although there was also some game that said Metallica or some-
thing like that... it might have been Guitar Hero. After this the
two of us (me and the girl) went upstairs and took a bath togeth-
er in this long tub and spent a while in there just talking.
Eventually others in the house woke up and I could hear that

the dad was extremely angry that someone had unplugged and
messed with his video games and pointed out how hard it was to
get everything put together. I never came clean that I did it. I was
in another room when I overheard him and I don’t think any-
one told on me. Then we went back to the daughter’s room and I
started packing up all my stuff for when she would take me back
home. I was packing for a while and having difficulty finding my
stuff. Filling up my backpack, I kept getting tempted to put some
of her stuff in there. While packing she went down the stairs and
left with some girl and I’m like “wtf you’re my ride.” And she said
“I might be back later.”
At the end I was sitting at a table with three people. One of them
I was already with, or two of them, but then two of them just
arrived: a man and a woman who were proficient in Latin. The
man went by the name Mateus or something similar, and he was
telling me about how it is amazing that we can make ourselves
1737
believe anything. I was about to ask if he can translate something

for me, like a Latin motto, but we just met and so I was still try-
ing to get introduced. This was after I sort of rescued myself from
that weird part where I was like a balloon and almost ended up
getting picked by a child and got stuck for a little bit in this giant
arcade-like place.
All of this took place after I was at the B’s house having spent
the night. Their daughter had just left with a girlfriend and I was
confused because I thought she was staying with me. I was ini-
tially upset, but I liked that this gave me time to raid her room,
though it seemed like all the fun stuff was gone, and the space
under her bed was just filled with paint and these Knex-type
toys. Tons of them. She also had my same drum machine. I re-
member seeing stacks of her diaries and other personal writings
earlier which I was interested in reading but they were gone now
for some reason after she left. I lost my hat at some point and I
was worried because my hair looked horrible. It was like braided
or dreadlocked. I looked like some nu metal guy. Finally found
my hats... since the hat I always wear is actually two in one. They
got lost several times in this dream. Sometimes they stayed to-
gether but once the two got separated and I had to find them
separately. Then I found them finally toward the end, and Mr B
was outside, and I told him thank goodness I found my hat ‘cause
my hair looked bad and he didn't seem to follow. So I followed
him for some reason down these stairs into this crazy building. It
was a long corridor, and at the end where everyone was dressed
in military gear, or middle eastern garb with the checkered head-
dresses and white outfits and it was a weird hodge podge of uh-
oh. Then people started coming through the door and opened
fire, and everyone started shooting, so I took off running as fast
as I could back toward the exit. That’s when I sort of sucked into
this really weird corner and went through like this ball pit and I
was suddenly floating in a restaurant like I was some balloon and

I tried to get back and some kid wanted me and just as he chose
me I flew away and he was like “Awww” to his dad but his dad
was like “That’s just what happens.”
After that I thought I’m so glad I escaped with my life, but I im-
mediately realized this will be shameful to the B family if they
see the footage because I just abandoned the father and took off
to save myself so I knew I was still in trouble. That’s when I went
and sat down with a person or two and then the Latin people
showed up.
LAIKA
I remember being on a bus or camper parked outside of church
and having a meltdown on a specific day and ended up losing a
lot of data. Looking back, I think it was attributable to my mind-
set, and this big argument with my parents involving a lost bag
which was not packed and contained clothes or something. Pop-
pop said he saw a plastic bag on the end table near the doorway
before leaving his old house for the last time. He said he would
check once more on his way back. At this same time we drove or
walked by an abandoned building where there was a baby bird
going in and out of the window.
I had been playing games with this girl that I accidentally fell
for. She was so fun, and it all started strangely, as I didn’t expect
to fall for her. We were engaged in some duel of sorts which in-
volved us both being tangled in a rope, and so we would take
turns. In each turn we would have a limited amount of time to
strike the other and then attempt to untangle our own rope and
free ourselves. That may not have been the rules but that’s what
happened, and I freed myself on my second turn by untangling
my rope and everyone was surprised by my speed, including her.
It was very nice. She was surprised and we continued to play dif-
ferent games and we fell for each other quickly and became in-
separable in the latter parts of the dream.
Something about the heart and the head getting split up. Oh geez, I
remember earlier... It was about me. I think I’m hallucinating and
I’m not sure these words have anything to do with my dream.
The girl that I liked was Russian, I figured. Her name was Laika.
She had a cosplay page online with a Russian social media ad-
dress that I never really looked at before. Her profile was filled
1740
with pictures of her dressed up in robot and alien costumes

and then I took notice of photos of Justin Timberlake scattered
throughout her profile at random. I didn’t find her very attrac-
tive at first, but some game we played in the Pine Hill living
room changed my mind.
We were out somewhere and Poppop got sick, so he was laying

on the couch at the end of the dream, while Asia was typing on
the computer in the Pine Hill kitchen (at the table) and I went
into the bathroom to wash my hands with blue gel-like hand
soap.
PRISON CORRESPONDENT
My father was attempting to do some kind of eBay advertise-
ment and something went wrong. There was a bad buyer or
someone who started all kinds of trouble for us and then we end-
ed up being stalked. He began sending strange, intrusive emails
to my address if I wanted to get my account back. I ended up
continuing with my dream as normal, but throughout the dream
I would just be messaging him, and he would ask me personal
questions. At one point he started to divulge more about him-
self. I could never tell if he was using me or if he was serious
but there was a loneliness and a desire to talk, and he would say
goodnight before he went to bed, and he would ask me how din-
ner was and different things. I saw a little indication on the bot-
tom of the chat window that my correspondent was located in a
prison... since it displayed his address via some tracking app.
At one point in the dream I met in that trailer place where I ate
and communed with all those people... a little group. They all
looked like wrestlers but they were so kind. One of them was J.C.
and he was like “Yeah, I know Korneli from x!”
It was funny. At the time I was thinking he knew me from a

dream. The dinner was taking so long to make at one point
though I thought I would wake up before it came time to eat.
The main guy serving food was like Tito from Rocket Power. We
talked about how I previously had a record for eating my rice or
noodles fast... like a huge pile in a very short time. So I set out to
do it again after they served us but I was like “Eh, this doesn’t feel
fresh,” so I stopped. All the gravy dried up so I had to take the
gravy from the top of the potatoes and felt bad for doing so.
1742
BREAK-IN
Showing up at that Sears and then breaking into that Chinese
woman’s room in the middle of the night. Following her into her
shower stall where she went to hide and telling her that there are
parts of me that still miss parts of her. (What the fuck am I say-
ing?)
1743
WEREWOLF CHASE
My father and I were walking through the night and passing
all sorts of weird people. All these men who would come up to
me and tell me about their coming out stories as I walked. They
would just tell me that they’re homosexual and I would congrat-
ulate them or something like that. Then once I passed by a car
where a lady was overseeing a girl with a kidney problem, and I
was either hungry or thirsty, but I was afraid to ask for something
from them ‘cause I didn’t want to risk infection if I drank from
something used by that kid. Everything felt... infected.
I already knew that I was dreaming because I was telling Jay (or
planning to tell him) about what all of the men had told me
while I walked and how people were approaching me and then
falling back after sharing their truths with me.
My father and I were walking through this park at night. It was

very dark, and we were walking on the gravel driveway alongside
a hill. And I don’t know who this guy was to us... but we had been
in contact with someone, and they were giving us a head start
or something. And I just remember when I first realized what
was going on, and I saw their silhouette upon the midnight hill.
It was a werewolf. I knew it immediately, and I ran as fast as I
could into the night, taking every opportunity to throw him off
my trail, my scent.
It was one of the most high energy dreams in recent memory.

The entire dream was just this ongoing chase. There was this
contest going on, where whoever made up the least amount of
ground in a certain amount of time, between my father and I,
they would be taken down by the werewolf. He was often in the
distance, but never out of view. It was horrific. We were zipping
1744
through these canyons and factories and taking shortcuts like in

a racing game. I remember when it occurred to me that I must
have been in last place, but I hadn’t been sure, since my father
and I had split up after the chase began, with my father taking the
low road and me taking the high road. Because I was just getting
on an elevator. And I was like oh shit. And it entered the room I
was in. And the elevator hardly closed fast enough.
It was not a simple elevator, as in it did not just go up. It also felt
like more of a ski lift. And the werewolf continued to follow the
elevator, and everyone inside was looking after it, trying to fig-
ure out if it was heading in the direction of my father or me, and
that’s when we figured it was after me and it was so creepy be-
cause for a while we couldn’t tell...
I ended up in a department store jumping from post to post and

table to table. It was sort of like a Boscov’s, but all of the lights
were off since the mall was closed by now. I’m typically able to
wake myself up when the dream seems to be heading in a dark
direction, but I couldn’t in this case. I tried very, very hard, but
it just made the world look darker. I was doing all sorts of things
to break my mental connection with the dream body as I ran
through the department store. It was freaky. It’s NEVER the case
that I can't properly wake up from a nightmare. So this part was
so strange. And I was trying to dissociate as much from that body
as I could by the time it got to me. And I would phase in and out
between dissociation and associating, changing the darkness of
the room and even my emotional connection. I was just hoping
it would ravish my body as I was dissociated.
Finally, I gave in. I couldn’t run any more. It had caught up to

me and it was standing only feet from me, stopped and staring.
Then it began to count down, and as it stood there menacingly,
before finishing its countdown, I chose to approach it, instead of

running the other way. And as I did so... I forget exactly how it
happened, but something anticlimactic occurred, like it reached
out to shake my hand. I told him that I was a big fan of his work,
and he responded saying “And I am a big fan of yours.”
The next thing I know I’m speeding in a car on the road beside
it. Then as my father and I drove away in the evening I was like
“they wouldn’t kill a fan” and it seemed so obvious that I wasn’t
in danger. And at the end they were driving in a black SUV next
to us and waving and talking to my father. And then said bye to
me, like “See ya, Kori.” At this point it no longer appeared like a
werewolf, seeming more like someone from Daft Punk.
The drive back felt like a video game. All of those same characters
and their cars were swerving and destroying each other on the
road and I was sort of controlling them and seemed to be forcing
or at. Least allow it to happen.
TRASHBAG GIRL
I was upstairs in my parents old bedroom. It was some sort of
sleepover taking place. Four people. One of them was this sort of
trash bag woman, and now that I think about it it doesn’t really
make sense but at the time, I was really seduced by her sort of,
though she was the girlfriend or at least close to my other friend,
and so it was weird because she was often taking every opportu-
nity to spend time alone with me and there were several times
throughout the night, especially as my friend had fallen asleep
that she would come over to me and just do what she could to
kiss or touch me.
I had all these things set up. Like a Pokémon game on the laptop.
So that if he came over and caught us I would quickly be able
to reframe the situation to look innocent. When he did finally
get up he walked over past us to the kitchen and opened up the
box of oatmeal. It was a tall box but it was filled with individ-
ual packets rather than raw oats and he wasn’t expecting that and
neither was I. So we started joking about how I would probably
need several packs to eat my standard amount. Like three packs
or more. For some reason we found it funny.
This was in some other room. At the end I was in my parents' at-
tic room. There was this old couple speaking with my mother on
the bed. And I was kind of just sitting by. And the old woman
was speaking of how she met her husband. They had both been
in construction or something and the girl was an apprentice and
she was talking about how when they first met each other she
had to hand him some kind of door hinge or something simi-
lar, and she still remembers what kind it was. And so I waited
for an opening in the conversation since she kept talking, where
1747
I could say how cool it would be if for the fiftieth anniversary

or something someone made like a gold plated hinge of that sort
or something. And I thought it was cute but they just sort of
stared at me and wrote it off. But it was very funny at the time,
and I was having to defend myself. Then she started talking to
me about something else or explaining herself and she was us-
ing a very weird choice of words. Like having a “house full of
hair” to imply that something like a head full of hair, but to her it
was some other expression and then I responded by saying some-
thing similar and remarking that I had a house full of hair as
well. I don’t remember exactly what was said, but my mom start-
ed laughing ‘cause she knew I was poking fun but the other lady
didn’t. And so I walked off cracking up with this hilarious heee
hee hee laugh and I could hear the people still laughing at me as
I walked down the hallway into another room. I wandered off to
find that girl. The trash bag girl.
Ugh early on we just had some good times. They were subtle...
but so many events would be used as excuses to bring us close to-
gether. Like every time she had an opening to get close to me...
to touch me... to breathe on me... she would take it. And it was
so sensual... and we didn’t know how long we could keep this up
before people noticed.
There was a truck parked in the room? And I went and sat in the
truck passenger seat while trying to rest. but not for long
PICKLED PAJAMAS
Order: Sleepover, Disney, Lift, School / Isaac Alex, Me going
through school / missing woman, Ripped guy kitchen / cold
showers, Welcome home / table / pickle bread
Much earlier was at Disney world with Isaac and then. Climbing
for a while. No, a lift. My lift fell and I came back up. We had one
more ride to go.
After the park I was in a test taking facility with Alex, Isaac, one
other guy, and a strange little boy. My computer was in the cor-
ner and it wasn’t working right. The boy kept walking around
the room being obnoxious. I called out “How many people are in
this room, four?” Because I could no longer see my friends, who
were around the corner from me, obstructed by walls. They said
“Yeah.” The little boy was mocking my clothes. Something weird
about my clothes. They were inflatable or emergency or some-
thing. Yellow I think. Pants in particular.
Afterwards I tried to cross through a room and there was some-

one talking about how a woman didn’t show up so I tried to join
the conversation.
Later I was standing in a kitchen speaking with some jockish guy

who had cut and dyed his hair. Stupidest haircut in the shape of
an upside down cross with clownish looking sides. Was gonna
ask how long it took him to get ripped. He asked me if I didn’t
have my health condition would I be making the same excuses. I
said “Oh no, I’m a cold showers kind of guy.” Then I went inside
and looked at the mugs.
Then I went to the stereo to turn on some music. We were on op-

posite ends of the house. I played air guitar. Could barely hear
1749
the music from where he was standing though. Wanted to turn

on IKSSE3 but then I turned on Good Apollo I instead since
I figured he was more likely to know Welcome Home if he had
Rock Band or Guitar Hero or whatever game it was and I asked
if he had. He said he never heard of them. So I asked what bands
he liked and I’d tell him not any of them sounded like or relat-
ed to them. Pop punk stuff... most of which I didn’t recognize. I
turned on Welcome Home super loud on tv but it was across the
house and full volume. I said “I’m all out of volume.” Guy said
“we’re also out of pajamas.” And I asked “Is that to be taken at
face value?” because I didn’t understand. Then I look at the table
and they seem to be making some dish. Looks like pickled bread.
And I go “Oooooh, pickle bread.” And then I realize they’re dye-
ing or cooking pajamas. And they start laughing at me. Then oth-
er things were said. One guy asked if I was smiling. And I said
I don’t smile but I smiled immediately afterwards or something
like that. Then the guy lying on the table laughed. Then I started
making UFO noises. Then in real life my pillow fell off the bed
so I woke up hitting my head on the mattress.
GIANT
Running down the hallway. All those pirates running through
the hallway. Looking for the thing that I had stopped, which was
like a tape recorder or something. There was that giant. I had just
watched that girl die. After the girl died, one of my teammates,
who looked like Courtney, I was going to return to the battle
which was heating up. That giant creature was killing my team.
So I paused the pause screen and tried to find medical potions
or something that felt video gamey but everything was poorly
sorted and some guy had to help me navigate and while I was
looking, Courtney got killed, and she wouldn’t be coming back,
which was scary since the mission was only going to be getting
harder.
Later I was outside on the deck holding that girl naked in my

arms. We were submerged up to our waists in water and hugging
tightly when my mom came out and I cursed her and shooed her
away because she ruined my intimate scene.
Then there was that concert part... John’s band was about to play.
No it wasn’t John his had already played and he was playing this
sample which was weird like “and now for a song by a white
man.” The next guy about to play was nerdy and they asked me
to guess who’s next and I asked who and they made a face. Some-
thing about Patrick. I remember him at one point.
Back at my home with my mother. I opened the outside door.

Earlier Asia had summoned me saying that my favorite food was
purchased which I believe was implying glazed donuts for some
reason. I had been in my bedroom at the time, maybe listening
to music or trying to sleep.
1751
PANTS
At the end of the dream the fire finally started and it was so hot
I fled the room and couldn’t even go near the upstairs entry to
the staircase. It was horrible. Only moments earlier I had had my
father grab three of my instruments from under my bed which I
couldn’t reach after we lifted my bed up and could see what was
underneath. It was like three small black ones. And he was hes-
itant but I begged him.I still wanted my tambourine but then
I realized I had two tambourines (I don’t really). It was just a
freaky scene and we almost got incinerated.
Stuff earlier involving uncle Jamie coming over and I was being
immature around dinner time. And all of the stuff about several
of us having to fit in the trunk of the car while driving to a place
with Poppop. I became severely claustrophobic.
A lot of the earlier dream was spent analyzing the concepts of

meaning and value.
I saved a kid without pants. My mom kept staring. I said some-

thing like “damn, it’s a good thing men wear pants or else there’d
be nothing to keep you from just fucking staring. We got into a
fight. The kid and I left. He was small. We went across the street
to the car. He tried to leash a squirrel and bring it with us, so I
had to help him with that. I had to go back in and get my kratom
and maybe some spare pants from my room. Then I saw him
putting on pants found in the trunk of the car.
“Do you have pants?”
“What?”
“Do you have pants to wear?”
1752
“What?”
I asked again before he answered me.
I was talking to someone about my youth, when I was at wooden

parks. I think I was talking to Rubid. I was talking about how I
would sneak into the cracks to get underneath/within the park,
which I actually did all the time in reality. And I would find
money and toys that had slipped through the cracks, but I would
also find broken glass and large spiders, so I had to carefully
watch each step and couldn’t be so carefree. And then I com-
mented saying “That’s pretty much an analogue for life, itself...”
but then the people were talking loudly in the room and I wasn’t
sure if he heard me, so I said it again. “That’s pretty much an ana-
logue for life, itself...”
TOBACCO
I was outside with JG at some part. It was very strange, being that
it was my first time seeing her since the incident. It was a nice
day out, but my family was there, too, which dampened it for me.
Asia kept wanting to play. Like that part where she was sending
skateboards down the street/hill which sort of resemble Nanny
and Poppop’s old street.
I had her ( JG) diary and she asked for it back. It was in a shared
folder and I said sure. I said I hadn’t read it. I had been wanting to
do something like hang gliding with her. But she thought it was
boring. So I acted like I was okay with not doing it. Even though
it was one of the only things I could do in my condition. It was
overall a pleasant atmosphere and she was cute, but it was also
weird.
At one point I went to sit down beside her at a picnic table and
there were two other guys there, one of which was JP, and I was
intimidated. I went to light my cigarette using another cigarette
in a really weird way, and I accidentally did away with the filter so
when I sucked in I got a mouth full of tobacco and had to excuse
myself, walk a few feet away and just spit tobacco out, and I was
laughing and no one knew what I was doing. felt embarrassed in
front of JP.
1754
GIG
Stuff with Micah. And swords. Chatting with him online. Asia
and Micah were over, looking for a place to go, and Asia was talk-
ing about some college up north. And basically she was being
stuck being the provider. We all tried to play some party game
when Nanny and Poppop were over but everything about the
two of them was just uncomfortable. This was near the begin-
ning of the dream.
All of these guys were in the street performing. At some point

I was given the microphone and asked to sing. It was basically
karaoke since all the musicians were gone. But apparently the
guy’s equipment broke and I was being asked to do the vocals
for a show coming up tomorrow and I was asking “what?” So for
some reason I ended up performing Pattern Against User by At
the Drive-In in the middle of the street all by myself. I did anoth-
er song after that but I’m not sure which. And after that everyone
was like hey that’s awesome let’s get you to fill in for the show
tomorrow And I’m thinking “What...tomorrow...?” then on the
way out I’m thinking “that’s Awesome... for my anxiety.” Then
some screamo song started to play and I’m thinking oh man, I
haven’t heard this song in decades. But I was like I can do this
one. My voice was great because not only was I able to channel
the original performances accurately, but I brought a lot of really
crazy sounds to the table, amazing warbling vibrato. I remember
at the end l went down and I’m like “Hey, what happened to the
singer?” The guy who I was filling in for. And I found him sit-
ting down in this pit where all of the producers and people were.
So on my way walking to the pit, I had to pass over my mother
and father. And CM was sitting on a blanket doing something...
not paying attention, of course, so I don’t think he saw me at all,
1755
spaced out just like in real life. I almost went into the producer’s
booth by mistake looking for the pit the second time.
I remember after the guy told me he wanted to get me a gig the

following day, I was all surprised and seemed okay with it but on
the way back I was like “Oh shit, oh shit, I’m going to be unable
to sleep tonight and then tomorrow I’ll be all screwed up, fuck,
fuck, fuck!”
ANIMAL GAZE
Something weird was going on and there were these animals
that roamed the yard like strays. Pine hill. Looking into their
eyes would cause people to dissociate and hallucinate and being
about these demonic visions.
At the very end of the dream I went outdoors. I found a gray cat
wandering by the deck and I removed my sunglasses and stared
down the cat until suddenly I was just a brain floating down a
snarky pathway of lava.
The day before had been particularly scary, although I forget ex-
actly what happened. We took it too far, and I think that Asia
was in it too? And there was a cat and another animal and we got
them to stare at us and it brought about a vision of hell that al-
most destroyed us.
1757
PRIEST POLICE
That part where Asia was in the car eating pizza with a boy and
I was sitting alongside them outside of the car cashing on a con-
versation. This is after I walked outside on the deck growling and
being all demonic. Like my voice changed and my nature was
coming through. And they witnessed it. I think I had been at
nanny and Poppop’s New Jersey house and something happened
and I walked outside. Then my father followed and I talked to
him. But the two of them had been sitting in the parked car in
the driveway for a while.
The very end it was that some guy had witnessed Hitler’s death
incidentally and he was now wanted by police and I started to
sweat because I too saw it but I wasn’t the one they caught.
Oh man I remember walking around that place at night, outside.

There were stores and whatnot. I was trying to find some place to
go.
That part where I was in a car. Someone was speeding while I

was singing a song. It was the happy version of Swallowing Light.
Singing for Asia and the boy. And it sounded really beautiful,
about Anita.
I think they drove me. But the situation got messed up. And they
were like Tuck and roll. Open the car door and roll. But when I
tried, while in traffic, I whammed the car door into the car next
to us and I couldn’t get out. So I had to get out the other side and
it was super messy. Like a New York City traffic jam. And I was
trying to get out of the car and escape
When the police priests (sounds weird but that’s basically what
they were) caught up with me I turned the corner quickly so they
1758
saw another man in front of me and I made a genius maneuver

where they thought he was the one and as they ran after him I
turned around quickly and went down the street which was at
the end before I met the crowd of friends at a night gathering.
The police ran after.
While walking down the sidewalk I heard them give descriptions

of what the perpetrator was wearing and fortunately they de-
scribed my clothes wrong slightly. Like I said I wore an owl
hoodie. But pointed out some bullet holes designed on the back
or above a crest. So I zipped up my hoodie windbreaker real
high. And no longer fit the part. This was after they ran after the
other guy, and shortly after leaping out of the moving car.
I found my backpack lying in the street somewhere. I was with

someone else at that time but had to abandon them. My stuff was
scattered around but I salvaged a little bit. I needed a phone to
call someone which I think was why I was in that taxi situation
where I had to tuck, roll and run.
But what the fuck happened at Nanny and Poppop’s. There was
that party going on in that large back yard. I went and shook
hands with that guy. And I was talking about that song by an 80’s
band like Styx but it wasn’t them, and how I played it specifically
to be my first song something something in a while. I remember
our handshake vividly. Sort of a trendy one. And he was asking
how I’ve been and complimenting me. It was supposed to be un-
cle Jamie or his friend or something?
Then my parents came over as we were talking and joined. But

this is when something bad started to happen and I don’t re-
member what it was. Definitely religious in nature. As these
pope police people started showing up. But not yet. I had been
in Nanny and Poppop’s New Jersey house and went outside after
something upset me. That’s when I was growling, not realizing

people in the parked car could hear me. I then made a break for
it after a little while and spent a lot of the dream on the run.
At the end I was making my way from all the police officers
and officials and found a group of old friends all gathered on
the streets by the same entrance and as I walked toward them I
shushed them silly-like but they welcomed me loudly, especially
one guy who looked like Michael.
I kept breaking free of different scenarios and ending back up on

the street.
DEAD DAD AND DONUTS
I failed to get a job interview and then started drinking again. I
was putting down lots of red wine and taking long long shoes.
I was disoriented the whole dream, getting in loud arguments
with my parents and cursing freely. My father questioned me
about my choices in a video game. About how I beat up a dog in-
game with a specific move when I should have chosen that dogs
worst opponents were ‘liberals’ (according to my father). And I
chose something else that was more pertinent to my condition.
And they didn’t understand. Then I dropped an f bomb and they
got angry. But right as I did it appeared on the television screen
which made my mother yell aloud in disbelief. ‘Cause it was in a
show or fame they were watching.
Before that I was in a shower listening to 90’s alt rock from my

bathroom speakers.
Earlier on I got it in my head that today would be special and we

would go get donuts. I asked my father and he said he didn’t feel
like it. In Londonberry basement. I was like why not. He was like
I don’t feel good and my dad died. And I’m like oh... that’s some-
thing you should tell me before you let me talk for ten minutes
about donuts. And in my dream it was weird because Poppop
had died only a week or two prior. Both of them are still alive in
reality currently but quite old.
1761
CRAWL
I saw Asia. She was so high and fucked up and I was ashamed to
know her. We were in this weird place. I told her I couldn’t even
recognize her. She kept rebutting and didn’t care about the truth.
She was simply wired to defend herself and would do so regard-
less of what was said. I was so sad.
Later we were all sitting in the driveway speaking with my mom.

I was sitting, leaning back with a pimp-like posture and attitude,
while my mother compared me to Asia.
“You may not take drugs, but you sold them.”
“Yep.” I didn’t deny it.
She kept trying to compare us, but I was like “They were legal
drugs, dammit. It ain’t the same thing.”
Then that crazy semi truck came barreling through the area (sev-
eral times). I ran inside workroom of Londonberry terrified.
Told my father about it. He wasn’t concerned. He bothered me. I
forget what he did to me but I felt the urgent need to escape and
this led me to the nearby woods.
Walking through a dark forest path, I wandered up into the cave

on the clifftop or whatever wherein an old man lived. I found the
torch he kept. I took the torch from before he awoke. He was
screaming for it by name, as he had named it. It was all he had.
I took it with me and fled down the path as he screamed in the
dark. I returned to my watery village or to wherever the mailbox
was. That’s around the time there were these boys, and I jumped
or flew really high to this cliff because of these things with Poké-
1762
mon cards. Someone had done something wrong or left some-

thing out. And I was flying and jumping like mad.
Then I’m walking through a store with S and J. They were lit-
erally measuring their genitalia and I couldn’t believe the im-
maturity. who did something with his crotch, and then walked
through... check out aisle... There was black guy who was being
nice to me at the checkout aisle... grapes fell out or something...
on floor... Something I did summoned this weird drifter/YouTu-
ber vagrant guy with a covered face and beanie who came to help
me or tape me. He has a card and everything.
I went and sat down at the food court at a Chinese restaurant.

The place was in trouble. Smoke was pouring out of the kitchen.
Meanwhile, I was sitting out front with two girls, Courtney and
Sela, doing a checklist or crossword. It was something where we
had to kiss the paper, and it left a taste or a mark, and it was
like they were all indirectly kissing one another and I was sur-
prised that they were okay with that. Meanwhile, the business
behind us had burned or collapsed. Cops arrived on the scene
and the Chinese lady was going crazy on us, presumably because
we failed to help out in the crisis. She began calling me names
and harassing me and I think I smacked her when she came too
close to me and was too loud. She hated me for what I did.
I escaped from the interrogation, but the cops continued to fol-

low me so I fled. I was in a residential neighborhood, so I left
and ended up sneaking through the neighborhood. Next thing
I know I’m two houses deep... as in having gone through two
houses which connected. I ended up at this fence and went
through. There was barbed wire on the fence and a huge field be-
yond it. Is this what had me to turn around or is this the first
thing I escaped to before the houses?
On my way back, people were out, playing in the backyard. There

were children playing and parents barbecuing. I was crawling
around on the grass while a young girl and her brother were play-
ing games nearby. The girl was behind me and seemed to think
that I was her brother. No one knew that an intruder was among
them. I wore a gray jumpsuit and I thought it would give me
away. Then I went through the salad drawers, pulled them out
of the wall and crawled through a hole which led me into the
house. The girl, still crawling, tried to follow. I pushed her away
and continued into the kitchen, putting the drawers back into
the wall behind me. Went out the front door which was ajar. I
was surprised it was ajar and wondered if I should close it or leave
it as I found it upon leaving. At the end of the dream I was back
on the Main Street and with not a cop or anyone in sight, so I
could run anywhere, free to escape.
FIIIONA GIRL
Earlier in the dream there was like a candy store with this girl and
my mother.
Stayed at suite overnight. It was such a terrible time. The girl was
cold at the end and used me. I spent all night trying to help this
junky girl but she was sooo cold toward me at the end and was
going back to her boyfriend and wouldn’t even say goodbye.
I spent a while in the suite’s kitchen standing in the refrigerator

eating, since they had a lot of desserts. I was standing there in the
middle of the night just eating these expensive slices of cake, tak-
ing a break from having to deal with the girl.
In the morning when I realized it wasn’t going to work I came to

say goodbye and I was carrying a vacuum cleaner in my left hand
and a white stuffed dog doll in the other... I had won it? Or she
gave it to me? She said what are you doing, the vacuum is mine.
And I said “yeah I’m not keeping the vacuum I’m just moving it.
But I’m taking the doll.” Then on my way out I took a water bot-
tle, came back in for it, think it was tap refilled. When she said
she wanted the vacuum I remember commenting “do I look like I
vacuum. My room is basically like this” and I pointed to the ex-
tremely filthy area of the suite where all the trash and clothes had
piled up.
After a long goodbye where I tried to tell the girl that I cared
for her and hoped she would heal. She wasn’t listening or caring.
Just laying on her bed staring. This was after she tried to get me
to do heroin with her. And I was like geez these endorphins are
enough for me. We had rented a honeymoon suite or something
weird to get away for the night, but she just wanted to shoot up.
1765
So I came out in the morning to the lobby to check out of the

place. The girl at the counter was very attractive and asked me
which room I was in as I tried to check out, or my name, and
I couldn’t recall. I didn’t even know if it was registered in my
name, or the junkie girl with whom I was staying, and this could
mean that the junkie girl would end up getting kicked out. I was
just like “Uhh, the big one.” I fumbled, but she figured it out.
Then she gave me an extra paper form since for thirty bucks or so
they would release the video footage to me. I’m like “what video
footage?” That suite had an overhead camera that taped things,
apparently. And I was like “what, so I can watch my myself drink-
ing water and eating cake” I jumbled my words again a little bit
and first said “looking” at cake but changed it to “eating.” She
laughed because it was a sexual thing and I totally didn’t get it.
Since there was no sex for us. It was for people on their honey-
moon or something of that sort, selling people their honeymoon
sex tapes.
Girl at the counter next day. Her name was Fiona (her email
or username which she input on my phone was fiiiona_girl or
something similar). As I checked out she was being friendly and
decided she wanted to take off of her shift. And invited me for a
smoke break. There were two packs of cigarettes on the counter.
One of the two was nearly empty. I thought the wrong ones were
hers, but they belonged to the guy who took over her shift at
the hotel register who looked like Shaggy, or the live action ac-
tor who played Shaggy. He was a nervous guy but very kind and
was always covering for us. Fiona and I went outside for a smoke
break or something. She really wanted to hang out with me and
I wasn’t gonna deny her, even though I didn’t smoke.
She was so hyper and sang loudly with a very young and unusual
voice reminiscent of Cranes. I thought “Damn, she would go
perfect with me,” but I didn’t tell her about my voice. She was
so fast. First there was that truck that whizzed by. It sped by and
picked her up. Crazy cool black and neon giant truck that was
driven by an old wizard looking man. Everyone inside the back
looked stoned or hippy-ish. She got in. I wasn’t fast enough, but
she must have convinced them to turn and come back around for
me. I wasn’t fast so I stood in road waiting for it to get me. I went
in and stayed for a few minutes before we got out again at the
front of the hotel where there was this wall or bulletin board out
front with flyers. People gathered. Maybe just the people empty-
ing out of the van. Tight squeeze. That shaggy guy did something
helpful. I’m like “You saved us once again,” and he just had a ner-
vous reluctance to him but he was like “siiiigh glad I could help”
like he was going to cry.
Later she grabbed onto a passing motorcyclist and took off. I

ran at lightning speed and caught up to her and grabbed back of
her cardigan or blouse and she asked if driver could support my
weight then she told me yeah they can Probably carry me, so I
glided for a mile or more while I held onto her shirt/jacket but I
was not on the bike.
So that’s when Arby’s part happened. Hardee’s was right next to

us at the time. She was hungry and mentioned going to Arby’s.
I said Hardee’s? She said “No, Arby’s,” and then said something
like “Arby’s is my jam.” And I couldn’t figure out why it made a
difference. Then we drove further down the road and finally ar-
rived at the Arby’s. As we stepped in the door my dream began
to fade. The lights became bright. I said my goodbyes, “Sorry, it’s
time for me to go.”
There was a time much earlier when I caught myself waking up

but managed to maintain the dream. It sucked but it was a suc-
cess. I thought “Oh no, I feel my sleeping body.”
CLASS
Earlier on there was all this really dark stuff going on with my
mother living in this room with her bathrooms overflowing with
waste... urine and shit and clogged toilets. Meanwhile, Asia was
spending the night with some girl downstairs and when I was
down there they did something awful to me that caused me to
flip out and then they left, after which my father came down and
harassed me.
Later on in the dream I was in a dark classroom. Students were

watching a screen, a projection, while a lecture was being given.
I was with a girl in the back row, or behind the back row, on the
floor. We touched each other all over in the back of the class-
room. Sitting on the floor. The presentation we were watching
was for some reason interspersed with people dancing. Class was
almost over. And we intended to make a dash for it as soon as it
was done. We were just caressing one another so slowly. My hand
rubbing her palms, slipping in and out of her long, loose shirt
sleeve. Her hand running up my leg and back and neck. We were
standing for a while walking around in the back of the class, but
I pulled her down to the floor at the end so that we could at least
pretend that we had been listening to the teacher some of the
time. At one point she made herself a bowl of cereal, and some-
thing that she did had me drawing allusions to some old episode
of Dexter’s Laboratory but I don’t remember what I said or if it
even made sense.
1769
FATHER AND FATHER’S
FATHER
I was going around the perimeter of an arena in the dark. It was
a ring, like a prison courtyard, and I would circle this large com-
pound. And there was that place that led to the house in the
woods that was home to some group of rogue Scandinavians or
something and they were like some wolf group or weird dark
tribe.
We were in the middle of some war or siege. People kept invad-

ing, and I remember looking at some chart seeing names disap-
pearing and at one point I said I was going out but I didn’t mean
it, and I was freaked out, and we thought we had an invader in
our quarters at one point but it was a baby boy who brought us
stuff.
I remember going upstairs and seeing Asia and her husband and
my family and I was like “FUCK, why are all the survivors you
guys... all the shitty people.” And they got mad at me. Meanwhile
everyone else was outside losing their lives in war.
Sitting at that king dinner table for a while, and anytime I said
and did anything, my father and “his father”, who were both at
my left hand side and behind me, would hurt and abuse and
threaten me. Everything I said was being considered impudent
and disrespectful. So when Asia came back I told her what they
were doing. They had become so evil, and I eventually convinced
her to help me sway them, since she had their favor, but they
wouldn’t listen to anyone or anything at this point.
Most of the dream was me in a battle with my father, where I was

desperately attempting to get him in touch with his humanity,
1770
and Asia joined in, and in the end I had to remind him of things
he once told me. I talked to him about the garden. How there is
a real garden, and people don’t realize it’s true that there is a gar-
den of knowledge, and on the outskirts of that garden is a tree of
ignorance, and one who sits beneath it or by it will become igno-
rant within proximity of the sap that it drops.
At one point near the end of the dream, amid the confrontation
with my father, I had to urinate and ran off to the edge of the cliff
near water, and I believe I glimpsed the garden in the distance.
Then I came back along the trail—a very strange trail—and re-
turned to ‘the bowl’/arena and continued the confrontation/
battle with my father. I began speaking to him of memories that I
cherished, including one time when he was vulnerable before me
and he told me that he didn’t know something, and how it was
the first time he was truly honest and I respected him and I was
so appreciative of that honesty. My recounting of this story start-
ed changing him, to where he seemed more open to listening to
me.
At the end was a graduation ceremony. A lot of the celebrities

who had shown along the way were guest speakers, but a lot of
their kids were crying, because of the people who were lost along
the way. A lot of people died during the wars. I remember seeing
close ups of people's response. While someone described a man
who got zapped by a laser sentinel or something because some-
one called him as he was sneaking through the yard and when the
answering machine beep went off the thing sensed it and caught
him. You could see people in the audience visibly upset and talk-
ing among themselves.
False awakening at the end of the dream where I went to recount

my dream but looked over to find my Londonberry bedroom
door open and I thought my dad probably came in because his
van was still gone.
Last dream scene before then was when the girl had sat down
with some drink and some laffy taffy talking about how she was
part of the restaurant’s lovely yellow people or whatever. A crew
of performer girls that also served you and entertained you.
Daniel was talking about how he is in charge downtown, but up-

town I’m in charge and he was envious and I said I’m not in
charge I’m just confident and cocky because of all I’ve achieved,
I’m just a cocky musician, haha.
We went into a sushi restaurant. Not realizing it was gonna be

a busy night. But apparently they were preparing for an upswell.
After our order was taken. That slightly heavy Mohawk woman.
Not heavy, just normal. She came and began flirting with me.
Put her arms around me and waited for me to do the same. Kept
dropping hints. And so Dan sat across from me.
UPTOWN MAN
I spent a while in the computer room that day. I was really
upset with my parents for some reason—my mother specifically.
Grandparents were over, and I wandered out on the deck cursing
and yelling at them to go fuck themselves. Then I locked myself
in the workroom and signed onto my mom’s computer against
her will and was using some art program to render models of
women and printing them out. Then I went back to my room.
Sarah and Dan showed up. Dan wouldn’t speak to me. It was
weird. He was acting kind of mentally deranged and young and
shy. When they showed up Asia brought them into my Pine Hill
room as if giving them a tour. I was sitting at the top of my lad-
der in bed. Then they walked out. Guess they were just passing
through.
Eventually I went looking for Dan. Went out on deck and saw he
was in the car with my grandma. I went and got rid of her and
sat in the car with him. He wanted to sit in my dad’s van, so we
jokingly did so, but suddenly he started driving it, and I couldn’t
get him to stop. I was like “Dan, what the hell!” And he parked
it crooked on the street, so surely my dad would know he moved
it. And I can see my dad going in and out of the house with trash
bags or tending to the barbecue. And I’m like “Hems going to
look over and see us at any minute.” And he parked it crooked
and weird and I remember trying to figure out how he wanted to
park, so he could pull out easily in the morning like a school bus.
After several minutes of this, Dan just turns the van around and
takes off down the street and we go off riding and I was horrified.
He had just given up in parking.
1773
The music was loud and I was so stressed and everything in my

mind felt it was racing. He was so erratic I was afraid to keep the
radio loud because everything was affecting his decisions. But
then I looked and saw we were going over 230 mph down near
Wards Road, and I was like holy fucking shit I freaked out and
grabbed on to him and begged. I’m like this is serious you have to
slow down we’re going to die. And I begged him to slow down.
And I soothed him and got him to slow down to the speed of
the other cars. But I had to continue monitoring the needle. And
would soothe him every time it got out of range. I told him let’s
go eat. And he said “uptown? Uptown is where everyone loves
you. But downtown is where everyone loves me” and he was jeal-
ous of me in a way. So we went to a sushi place. I remember
thinking I had just been at a sushi place the night before with my
father and wanted to get something different but then thought
screw it I like what I like and when the woman came around I
ordered avocado roll and sweet potato roll. The woman thanked
me and then she and two others started conversing with us at the
table. Though at this point it didn’t feel like Dan, it felt like Alex
K. It was just weird.
I just learned to go with the flow of that woman with the short
Mohawk and the buzzed sides. She was a cook or server. She
showed me those shiny invitations or whatever it was that felt
like a t-shirt. She ripped it open so I could see all the letters and
she was showing me how elaborate it was. It was an invitation for
a party or a wedding or something. Metallic letters. And we’re
trying to read it but it’s difficult. Something about a metal gui-
tarist. Then we realize it’s heavy metal. And she said “Oh, you
know why so and so isn’t mentioned... because the two of them
had a feud.” And over time I’m learning to sound interested.
She waited for a while for me to put my hand around her waist.
Making insinuations about it for a minute or more. While I was
dumb and not knowing what she was implying while she said
something like “You know what you gotta do.” I felt the crease in
her skin. Like, she wasn’t fat, but I still felt a slight roll where I
put my hand. It was a vivid sensation holding her waist.
This team of girls was the neon team or something. They worked
at the restaurant and they would serve food and dance and what-
not.
The whole time I was also worried about getting my father’s work
van back to him and thinking of how to pull this off. While wait-
ing for food I was thinking I would call him from the restaurant
to pick us up so that Daniel didn’t have to drive back. Daniel
was crazy and erratic and I don’t know why. Mental illness break-
down.
Was in my Pine Hill room. Daniel and Sarah showed up. I was
like that’s weird. Daniel was acting strange and wouldn’t say hel-
lo. Daniel stole the van. I was so scared. While driving I remem-
ber thinking at least the van belongs to my dad’s work so he won’t
have to pay for it if something goes wrong.
BATHROOM FRENZY
My girlfriend was in the bathroom helping others fix the shower.
At one point I got bored and just busted into the bathroom mak-
ing all sorts of crazy noises just to annoy her and she had no clue
what I was doing. The noises reminded me of the beginning of
Hot Head by Death Grips, so at some point it changed over into
me actually singing that song, and then little parts from BB Poi-
son at the end. I was amazed at how much I sounded like the guy,
but they just thought I was insane.
Then I went into the kitchen later to get some food, and while
going through cabinets I sang a Rush song, but can’t remember
which one. Super high voice. Few minutes later Rush was on TV
in the next room and I thought did I do that? Coincidence?
Most of the dream was romantic. This was just a funny part.
Don’t feel like writing down the rest.
1776
SUBTERRA
At the very end I was hiding in the dark of the depths wondering
if people were going to come for me while checking my maps and
sources. I was working out of this subterranean level with a small
furnished area and the people on the level above me had yet to
die. When they did I would be able to...?
That video of the two (or three) people crushed in that our while
trying to get gold, because guys dropped down in their vehicle
and the walls closed in on them.
One of the remaining relics I was looking for was on some ship
and I had missed that. Hopefully I can still get it.
This was some weird adventure. Very dangerous. But also very
hard to describe. I was setting up a temporary camp in this sub-
terranean level but I was unable to be loud just because I knew
that people might hear me in the cavern. So difficult to describe.
There was that part where I had to slip into the cracks of this cav-
ern so that the gangsters who ran the place wouldn’t find or see
me. Though I think I only had to wait it out a little longer be-
cause some event was going to happen.
Oh man, before the subterranean part there was the tall guy with
the bananas part. We had been running through the road after
leaving. He was carrying a ton of bananas but he took a nasty
and unrealistic spill which left him possibly dead and the road-
way covered with bees. I made it through these gates only for a
train to force itself through right at me. And three trains came
through consecutively although it was different each time. Al-
most like I was watching a YouTube video.
1777
And before that the picture taking part. Some guy wanted his
picture taken with me. He was like seven feet tall so I looked ab-
solutely tiny next to him and he put his arm around me and I felt
so silly. The camera man took four photos and I made a different
face for each. At the end he thanked me and we all left.
And before that Lajos helped me escape the theater part. I was in
the lower levels of this theater when the apocalypse point start-
ed. And I had to go up to the top, and Lajos was there walking
through the theater attic to help me, but then he left. Very hard
to describe. I was walking from room to room. I remember this
performer was there. I asked him a dumb question and it was em-
barrassing.
And before that the girl I was escaping with. This random girl...
partially clothed...
And before that the Isaac part... which is how I met the girl.
THE SON
A young woman was in my bedroom with my parents. I couldn’t
go in. I was in the utility room next door. At one point my par-
ents came out and sat me on the staircase and started telling me
all of the bands and CD’s I wasn’t allowed to listen to and I tried
to negotiate. When they were done I snuck back into my room
but the girl was gone. Then the phone rang upstairs and I took it
into the living room. It was that young woman and she sounded
hurried saying that once the clock turned something... six after...
she had to leave, and she was explaining why she had to leave so
suddenly. I was like “aw, come back.” And she said she had to go
but that she might be back one day. And she asked who I was,
and I introduced myself, saying I was the son. We didn’t get the
chance to meet, and I sounded very sexy on the phone, hahaha,
and then she was like “well I hope you’ll be around when I come
back again.”
1779
LOCK-IN
Next dream I got a haircut and settled, and I was considering go-
ing to the church lock in, but my schedule was super strange and
I just had to plan for it. So I had to go nap at a specific time just
so I wasn’t too tired when it started, and I ate too much sugar
that day which was a problem. I wanted to go so badly, but then
while going to take a nap I thought “Is it worth it, and am I even
welcome?” Then I thought I’ll be double the age of everyone else,
and I thought of writing mean things in bibles. So I decided not
to go in the end.
Went to hang out with a group of five or so people. We sat

around and watched a video that was made a while back, and I
said “it’s Friday and we’re all here, why don’t we make another
one of these videos for a song?” And they looked around and
waited for the main guy to come back in then ask him. Everyone
was cool with it. Then they were like let’s go in the woods. And
I’m like what about those Scandinavian wolf people (the ones
from the previous dream? That’s weird) And they were like “oh
they won’t bug us.”
1780
CONVOY
I got in trouble when I went into Asia’s room looking through
her drawers. I tried to pretend I was looking for balloons and
other things to use for her upcoming party or something. Then
my mom came in and she was going through all these dolls on a
shelf.
Then I was at a public park and I was running through all of

these memory based simulations (at the park). I spent a bit of
time at that wooden park. Bad recall concerning the park. Oh
wait no I was sitting on that bench when that little girl kept fol-
lowing me and coming over and sitting beside me. I got worried
about how it looked, and when my father showed up to pick me
up on his way back home from work, I pretended I was asleep on
the bench, while the girl sat on my lap. So when my father came
by, he just stood there inspecting the situation, and I remember
having my eyes closed and trying so hard not to move a muscle al-
though I did make certain small movements of my eye and hand
which I expect were still within the realm of believability if I was
asleep. And I remember it so vividly. It was weird.
Then we went back to the house. I had been conversing with my

t-shirt (I believe this was supposed to say father but I don’t really
know what I was trying to say) about him heading back to work
since a storm was obviously coming. I was out in the front yard
on a wooden swing, going side to side and really high. And I re-
member thinking that I wish I could put on a headset and watch
movies while swinging like this but I would probably fall off and
become quickly disoriented
Then all those jeeps came driving by. “Well that’s a —- convoy”
I forgot the word I used to describe all the jeeps. Something like
1781
‘rough’ or ‘rowdy’. All of these jeeps kept cruising down the street
super loud. So I stopped swinging and just stared and waited for
them to pass. The last guy on his jeep ATV thing wiped out and
flew off his bike then got back on and kept going.
CAR THIEF
Stole my dad’s boss’s car. Trying to figure out how to cover the
license plates. Remember almost getting into an accident near
the mall/Taco Bell area of Candlers Mtn at a huge freeway. But I
would only go next door, or so I found out late.
I would go out into the yard on some slip n’ slide in the dark
where all these images would pop up and I would jerk off until I
almost fell over from disorientation, at which point I got in a car
and drove away before my family knew I was out here.
Factory/like room. I slipped through a tube and into my car that

I stole. Drove off. Met up with a guy who told me stories all night
at his apartment while I cleaned and put away condiments. Then
we left together. He was like a mentor. We sat in the audience
listening to a cover band. At first it was just a bunch of German
kids on the right side of the room singing terribly. And girls are
smiling at me. But suddenly it must have changed to a rock band
on the left side of the room on stage. Like old krautrock/prog.
They performed a couple Theion Water Pourer songs in our hon-
or. The Doctor Beaks. I was so elated I forgot to film. And some
stupid guy was standing in my way.
Patrick asked about the rapture and how his dad indoctrinated
him. I took his hand and told him I’d finally been convinced of
atheism.
1783
TORCH
Incomplete recall. This is just the ending:
Rising through that cart, my dad was to my left. Stevie was in

front of us. I held up a fiery torch and started singing or mum-
bling the chorus of “Cranking the Sirens” by Soilwork, but I
think I thought it was “Light the Torch”, so that’s kind of funny.
I remember my dad had to pardon me and explain “this is just
something he does.” Shortly thereafter, and I don’t remember
how, I got some starburst-like pattern stuck in my eye that was
animated and I knew was going to summon a demon once it fin-
ished so I had to rip open my eyes real quick cause my me to wake
up and did my eyes of the pattern but it was really difficult to do
since apparently I was mid-cycle. Can’t remember why I was in
this cart in the first place. It was like some ride, but we were head-
ing somewhere.
1784
WITCH HAT
I went to my grandparents’ house with my family to eat dinner,
only to discover others were there for dinner. I was so upset. They
were looking at some radio Poppop was selling or an old amp.
They were in the kitchen eating dinner and I didn’t wish to go in
and meet them.
I was embarrassed and looking for a hat to cover my hair. But I

only found beanies which looked awful on me. I sat out there
in the living room trying them on for a while. Before finding a
Witches hat... large and orange and conical. The witch's hat was
apparently magical. When I put it on everyone got blurry and
the world became strange. So I went into the kitchen as everyone
was eating and said:
“Everyone looks like a blurry David Sylvian, and though I don’t

own this hat, I wanted it when I saw it the other day at the store,
but I never bought it, and here it found me.”
Everyone was perplexed, some laughed. Including the band peo-

ple. When I left, a guy was making jokes about my self-awareness.
The band that was seated at the table was apparently a big well
known band in the indie pop world but I didn’t know them
personally. The guy was chided for making the joke. I got upset
knowing I looked insane and went outside. Where I smoked
these cigarettes that were like two feet long and very thin and
called motorcycle cigarettes because they were made to be
smoked in high speed wind situations and could withstand force.
I was standing on the deck once more explaining the situation to

my father, saying I wanted the hat when I saw it at the store, but
that I didn’t have much money to give and couldn’t go through
1785
with it. So I genuinely didn’t know how it got to me. I wanted it

at the store but then when I left it followed me home like some
magical thing.
After I smoked the motorcycle cigarette I came in and sat on the

couch in the corner by myself while everyone was in the next
room watching television. Some guy was going around showing
his music. I think he wanted to talk to me but he didn’t know if
he should. So while I was sitting on the couch with some map or
box spread out on my lap, he is standing there with music softly
playing from his phone and he looks to me to see if I’m listening
and what my reaction is and I smile.
Over the next few minutes people gradually start coming up and
being nice to me and speaking to me. Then a group of other peo-
ple gather across the room and start introducing themselves to
me and telling me about themselves. While I was in a chair at one
end of the room. It was very surreal. There was a girl among them
who said nothing but kept staring at me and I found her cute
It was soon time to leave. I was so tired and hoping to sleep in the
car on the way back.
INCOMPLETE RECALL
That fake little town that we spent three days at before finding
our way back to the car and then being super weirded out by be-
ing in the car. The three of us. Me, my father and Asia I think.
Something about explosives. This was a crazy dream but I ne-
glected to write it down immediately and spent the last twenty
minutes hallucinating in a hypnopompic stupor.
1787
GRAY BORDER
I was sitting in the woods on a trail in I think some sort of onesie
and I had turned on Iron Maiden die with your boots on in a
boom box, and I was just sitting there wondering if the nearby
houses could hear. I was scrolling through Facebook, seeing these
photos all lined up where people had these gray borders around
their profile photos, and one guy had a border that said some-
thing like the strongest man in the world and I was like pphph-
phpp.
Before this I was sitting in my room eating a plate of old spinach

leaves or something. It was my New Jersey room and it was
messy. This is after a long day out where I had been shopping at
the store and I had picked up a couple power rangers figurines
while with Isaac I think.
There was this super annoying part between these two scenes
where I was laying in bed and the blanket was so short and every
movement caused it to ride up around my feet and I tried to solve
it like a math equation.
More details but not that interesting and I’m tired.
1788
AIDS O’CLOCK
Nanny was giving me shit about having to ask my father before
I could have any ice cream and I’m like “I’m fucking thirty years
old, and if I want a small bowl of vanilla ice cream I can have
some.” So then my father came in and Poppop and I said a few
words. We kind of just stood around for a few minutes. When
checking the time I turned around. I said “oh, it’s AIDS o’clock.”
Because the way the clock looked like aids. But it was actual-
ly IADS, And my father said no AIDS o’clock is a different
month or time. This prompted Poppop to walk off into the
next room where he began quietly fooling with something tech...
some knobs. Which started changing the clock face. And it start-
ed saying all of these weird words and references which I assume
were supposed to be humorous in some way. When he finally
stopped; the time of day was completely wrong; like 1:21 PM.
but he had stopped there because of what it said. And it was
some weird caveman sounding name. Like oogus mogia or some-
thing. When my father saw it about a minute later he comment-
ed “ohhh..” Like he knew what it was. Then I left the room to
go get some ice cream. Had a little styrofoam bowl and spoon
and I filled it up to capacity with vanilla ice cream although there
wasn’t much. The next room over felt much like a gas station, like
a coffee center. So I filled up my boWl. Then I was going to pour
some nesquik powder on it. Which is the whole reason I was do-
ing it since I saw Nanny was doing that. And I was by the freezer
doors. Then I overheard dad and Poppop talking about the alien
thing so I came back in. There was a radio broadcast playing. And
I started to think that I had heard it before. But it was getting
creepy. Documenting aliens visiting earth. And is gradually dis-
covering that things are not alright. At first we were excited. But
then it’s like “they are psychopathic.” And then I'd like “they’ve
1789
brought together their Nine strongest aliens to stand and...” It

was just creepy to listen to. A gradual descent into apocalypse.
Struggling to remember what happened before dessert. There

was some crazy archaeology going on. Like we were in the base-
ment of this house. Searching through walls and tunnels. And it
got really weird and Indiana Jones-like.
SHE JUST KNEW
There was that part where we were in the store at the check-out
aisle with my mother, and we struck up a conversation with the
cashier and she mentioned her mother being dead. And my mom
said “Your mother died?” And the cashier answered “Yeah,” and
she gave this story about how she was a healthy woman raising
the two of her kids but then one day she just knew that she was
about to die and it didn’t take long after that. And I kept think-
ing about that throughout my dream—how the woman ‘just
knew’—and I wondered how I would experience it, since I’ve
come so close to dying every week of my life for the past decade
and so I’m already living like it’s the end. So I wondered if there
would be any difference when it was truly the end.
Asia and I hung out in my Pine Hill bedroom for a while, setting
up displays. I remember she was managing an eBay business,
and I heard two cash register sounds in the background while
we were talking, coming from her phone. Then she checked her
phone and she had sold two items that were $56 so she was really
glad to have made over $100. I felt happy for her. Then she went
to check something for a little bit in another room and that’s
when I attempted to make a little music. Just short bursts at a
time. It sounded great but it wasn’t any fun, being that I was so
conscious of my limits.
There was definitely something monstrous that happened at one

point, or frightening and nightmarish, but my recall is very bad
today.
1791
BLED SUBSTANCES
Talking for a while with my mother on her bed while she did
her make up, and I had these speakers set up and took off the
foam coverings and almost fell asleep in a chair listening to Mu-
sic. The part about some Swedish dark ambient musician need-
ing financial help and sense out a message to his bandcamp fol-
lowers. Asking that people buy his EP’s or soon he was just gonna
stop mailing them, and he looked different than I thought... in-
congruent with his musical style.
Then fighting with my father about five AM being objectively

early and him fighting me from the stairwell. I was sitting on a
couch in the Londonberry living room, Hugging what seemed
like an invisible person, When my father passed by and made
some sly comments about my schedule; And I’m like “I’ve been
up since five. That’s objectively early.” And he tried to say it
wasn’t. Then I got really loud and logical and argumentative until
he went away but he was an asshole arguing for no reason. Then
when he left I was reading something about how to make this
substance that had the same consistency of ‘bled substances’ so if
exposed to the body in certain places or orifices they would like-
ly welcome the substance back on...
1792
WATER TOWER
I had woken up and suffered a major conflict with my father in
Londonberry. When I went to seek help from my mother she on-
ly escalated it, And my father was being extremely aggressive. So I
took Scarlet on a leash and I made a bloodshot escape. With the
door to the basement still open I ran off down the street, And I
ran to the end of the street with Scarlet. And then when we trav-
eled alongside the road through the dips. Even though cars were
somehow driving through the ditches as well so I had to be care-
ful.
I eventually got this tower-like structure, like a short water tower,

and I climbed up on top. And somehow I called up five or six
random individuals. Some of them I knew, like Hayden, and
some of them I didn’t. We all hung out for a while despite my be-
ing extremely anxious. After about a half hour I nervously spoke
up and spoke to them of my situation and how I just escaped an
abusive household but I couldn’t stay out forever and I asked if
anyone had any suggestions or phone numbers of people I could
call if I was in a tough spot and just looking for someone to talk
to and keep me company. They all looked at each other uncom-
fortably. I hated bringing it up and putting myself and them in
this position. One of the girls spoke up and said”you can have
mine” and then wrote her number down and handed it to me on
a folded piece of paper. I was thankful. Only number I got was
from them, though. We all talked for a little while while sitting
on the tower
I asked Hayden where Matt was and told the story about how
during some camp or festival since all my friends were in the
bands that were playing that I often ended up sitting with Matt
1793
and that our “hell yeahs” and other reactions were so often in
sync that I had since come to see him as sharing similar perspec-
tive to me on what is cool. I guess Matt was supposed to be Hay-
den’s best friend... based on someone from the Lynchburg scene
that I met once or twice in real life but don’t remember his actual
name, although it definitely wasn’t Matt.
Eventually we went down inside the tower where there was this
cozy recreation room type thing with a television and DVD’s
and a bathroom and all sorts of stuff. So me and about five or six
others all went down and just hung out and turned on an anime
movie which we watched for an hour or so before getting antsy...
it felt old, like Lupin or City Hunter, and the others didn’t seem
terribly interested so I kept looking at them to gauge interest.
Scarlet was still with me the whole time, now sitting on the other
couch next to a girl who was petting her. I told the girl that Scar-
let was old and she said she could tell based on such and such in-
dicators.
Periodically I kept thinking about my parents and what they

would be thinking when they found the basement door open
and that I had disappeared. I thought about it frequently while I
was out, multiple times in the dream, like every twenty minutes.
And I was nervous. And was it going to be worse for me once I
made it back? Or would they be scared and more willing to talk
because they now knew that losing me was a real possibility.
I remember two girls taking off to the bathroom at one point All
giggly, Announcing it. Not sure what that was all about although
I don’t remember seeing them again after that. Those two girls
were always in a pair. One of them is the phone number girl.
We were here for a couple hours and then I realized I would have
to start packing up to head back so I started picking up all this
underwear scattered around the room and putting it into a mes-

senger bag, Preparing to leave.
LADY OF FATE
There were two separate dog parts. This might have belonged to
a different dream though. The first dog part was me outside in
some strangers yard. While all of their dogs ran around and it
didn’t feel too safe. The second dog part was different, because I
was caring for this sweet little dog. This seemed to be closer to
the time that I was with that girl in that living room early in the
dream. I forget what happened then but it was very early on. I
was sitting with this girl in somewhat of an intimate position on
the couch. She was sitting on top of me and we may have been
kissing. I left for the bathroom at one point and then came back
and I’m pretty sure we resumed what we were doing. But there
was a dog around, and there was something inherently sad about
it, like maybe it was vulnerable or frail.
My mother got locked out of the building shortly before that

other guy showed up: that huge intimidating guy. He was mas-
sive and seemed to belong to the military. Very stern and I feared
to approach or speak with him. He was friends with my dad.
They sat on the couch and I was nervous. My mother had been
locked out and I couldn’t mention it. I wasn’t allowed. There was
a little armoire or cupboard next to me containing my food so I
kept reaching in there for that. We were in the Pine Hill living
room. He and my dad were watching Fox News and my dad was
showing how one of his jokes made it onto the show. It wasn’t
funny at all. The joke insinuated that he killed his aunt or grand-
ma and voted on her behalf or something unusual of that sort.
The guy was so large that it was scary to shake his hand. I remem-
ber when the two of us were alone. He mentioned a desire he had
of the apocalypse, like something he wished to see happen before
1796
or during the end of the world. And I followed it up saying “I just

hope that, when the lady of fate comes down in the end, that she
looks upon me with all her love, or something poetic like that, to
which the guy simply stared at me and did not respond.
Then there was that part where I was sitting with that big guy
and he had warmed up slightly and was asking me where I’m
from. I said Virginia. He asked what city. I said Lynchburg. He
said oh on the plane ride here I spoke to someone from Virginia.
He mentioned a city I don’t remember what it was but its name
was like candy. And I told him that’s funny because another girl
I know met someone from there recently and it’s not even a big
place, smaller than Lynchburg. It doesn’t really exist in reality
though.
At the end of the dream I was sitting on the couch watching peo-
ple play video games. Oh there was that girl. There was a model
girl who I was speaking to. Jules? Jewel? We were talking for a lit-
tle while, and I thought that she liked me, but then she went and
laid down across the room near someone else. Most of the people
stopped playing video games, so someone asked me if I wanted to
play. They tossed me a controller. I tried to get out of it but final-
ly said sure why not. So it was just me versus this one other guy.
It was a racing game. After being given the controller, the x but-
ton didn’t seem to be gas so I asked if the up button was gas and
he just said no without instructing me otherwise. It was a bor-
ing and weird game. The level he chose was just a straight strip of
road that went on for maybe five minutes. However it was com-
plicated by the weird, ever-changing camera angles which didn’t
always even show your vehicle. And then you had to keep from
going too fast or else you would start to tip or the front of the
vehicle would rise up in the wind, and I was driving a sort of
VW Van or something, so I was vulnerable. I was yellowish. I
maintained my lead for most of the race, but then in the final lap
the camera cut away and I couldn’t see myself and when it cut
back we were crossing the finish line and the other guy was bare-
ly ahead and it was so annoying but I felt like I wasn’t allowed to
complain.
I remember that at the end of the dream I was this hot shot with
all these addresses in my phone, like I had been hanging out with
these rock stars—one of which was going to call me back later
about meeting up. At some point I got called over about a poten-
tial scammer and people had to block a specific number. Within
my phone that number appeared under the name of a particu-
lar New Romantic musician, so I was like “Awww,”even though
I still thought I knew him. So I don’t know what that was all
about, but everyone who had that phone number had it under a
different name, and then I was beginning to think that I heard
the wrong number initially.
KARAOKE BLACKOUT
Who was that guy we summoned? The Quaker Oats guy? Yeah.
He was like my guardian angel spirit, and he looked like the
Quaker Oats guy. We summoned them to help us with some-
thing and he did. But then he left. Then later on I was driving and
it was terrifying because I didn’t know how to drive and I made
it so much further than I thought I would. But then I entered a
tunnel where people were working up momentum and somehow
driving on the ceiling and I started to try the same but I flopped.
And then so did the guy behind me. Which is the same guy from
later. I don’t know if he was already with me or if this was how I
met him. Then I summoned the spirit again when we got strand-
ed in this tunnel. This parts blurry to me but I think it’s when I
turned into a woman.
Next thing I know I’m house sitting for some rich couple. Just
me, a girl and a Gizmo. But the girl is actually the guy from be-
fore. We hung out in the rec room a lot. I found a little binder of
trading cards on a billiard table. Instead of cards it was display-
ing ducking PACKS of Pokémon cards and I was like whoa so
tempted to open them up but the guy I was with talked me out
of it. Then we were like... okay we’re here alone. So should we call
up some girls or since we’ve now become girls ourselves should
we just accept being with each other. So things were definitely
seeming like they were about to get weirdly intimate.
First I needed to use the bathroom. But I didn’t know where it

was. Went looking around. Ended up in these really nice display
rooms with pianos and shelves and there were tons of little exotic
instruments and toys and glass sculptures. Several display rooms
interconnected. Realizing how rich these people were. I even-
1799
tually found the bathroom. Which was actually near the place
where I originally was with the other person. I used the bath-
room. Then I think they did after me. And when I came out Giz-
mo was barking. And then I heard footsteps. So I grabbed the
nearest thing I could find, which was an umbrella. And I went
over and almost hit them but it was the owners. And I was like
oh god I didn’t know you would be back so soon. I definitely
startled them. But after getting over being startled they startled
criticizing and even mocking the umbrella, like “you would have
been dead for sure if the intruder had a gun. How could you
think that was sane?” And I took a valiant tone “my duty is to
protect the house and protect it I shall”
The power all went off as we were talking about the informal
and formal foods in the fridge. I was speaking with the kids of
the people whose place we were minding. Didn’t know they were
coming back so early. So Gizmo was barking and I picked up an
umbrella and got ready to beat them
Along with the mother and father their son was here with some
of his friends. One guy seemed drunk and kept lobbing empty
cans at me while standing in the open fridge. I thought he was
passing me beer so I said don’t drink. He found it amusing I
thought he was giving me beer, because he was just being a jerk.
So he kept laughing and lobbing more. A jerk but I kept a good
attitude. Then I went and saw the son who I hadn’t formally met
before now. He said “you may not drink but you sure do eat”
And I was cracking up because he heard about me eating all the
croissants last time I was here. And then I said something about
not knowing how much I could eat from their fridge. And then
he said the whole soup was made for me and I never touched
It. And I said oh I didn’t know I could touch it ‘cause it was in
a Tupperware and I thought that was more formal so I ate the
stuff that was in plastic. And he was laughing about how I had
it backwards and said it was all formal (I guess ‘cause these are
rich people). Then the power suddenly went off and it was su-
per weird. And I had trouble speaking. And I said aloud some-
thing funny like “I can hear myself but I can’t see myself ” except
that wasn’t it at all and I went into some Cartesian spiel. Then
the lights stayed off but I could slowly start to see the shapes of
the people around me. And the sound seemed strangely muted
so I had to be louder. Then I kicked up a rhythm with my foot on
the kitchen floor and launched into I Didn’t Mean to turn you
on by Robert Palmer and it was sooooo funny. Went through the
whole first verse and chorus. Although I struggled at one point
with knowing if I repeated a line and so I tried to pass it off con-
fidently but think it might have been slightly wrong. Then after
the chorus another kid starts singing Land of Confusion by Gen-
esis. I don’t think he knew that I knew it. Because he was hyster-
ical when I quickly switched over and started singing with him.
With both songs there were several people joining in so it was
like this crazy karaoke led by me. I remember getting through the
first verse and chorus once again. Completely. Both songs. No
skipping. But after that I started waking up and I thought I could
probably keep the dream going a little longer but not only is it
probably time to wake up but I want to remember these details
to write down so that’s what I did.
FUDGE STRIPES
I was in the utility room in Charldon with Asia. She had just
gotten back from the store with my father. They got fudge stripe
cookies. We opened up the package and wanted to see how much
we could eat before we brought it to the rest of the family, since
we were carrying in the groceries but kept these in the utility
room. We started talking. We hadn’t talked in a while. At some
point along the way I just embraced her and I was trying to do
so without letting her go, and I was trying to tell her how I
felt about everything that occurred and my side of things since
she had stopped listening to me around 2012 and never really
stopped to consider anything. And it seemed like she was listen-
ing but it still seemed like something was preventing her from
fully understanding what I was saying.
A few minutes went by and then she sat on top of the workroom
counter and started talking her side but she right away got super
angry and defensive without me even saying anything. And I’m
like what the fuck is wrong with you. I’m sitting here listening
supportively and sincerely, giving you fab e room to talk, and you
just start getting angry and demonic and I haven’t even said or
done anything... Your own story is making you tense but you’re
finding a way to blame it on me. And you can’t even see that.
Yet she would still cite all of this stuff about how her husband
is the best thing she ever had. And it wasn’t matching with her
body language and her tone and it was so demented and hard
to watch. And then my father walked in looking for the cook-
ies. I quickly stuffed my face with like three or four more. And
I remember looking inside the cookie and analyzing its compo-
nents and layers. And then I went into the next room and my
mother was speaking with CH and she was feeding her these
1802
lies which sounded like damn tabloid stories and I’m just sit-
ting back in astonishment that she could believe that. This was
the Londonberry basement. When I commented about how it
wasn’t true, she was like IT IS TRUE. Then the two of them be-
gan recording some song into the computer. My mom needed
CH to sing some distorted vocals over her beat. It was so con-
fusing. Meanwhile I logged onto my Instagram and saw a noti-
fication and I thought someone followed me but it was a gener-
ic account and not real. Then I was thinking about changing
my headline on Instagram to something about Asia’s husband.
Something very angry. Like YOU DESTROYED MY SISTER,
YOU NARCISSISTIC SOCIOPATH in all caps. I just needed
a place to vent and didn’t know how or where to do so.
AX AND CROWN
Very very early on there was this classroom, though I hardly re-
call it. I was like locked in. And there might have been a creepy
person hanging around outside of it with whom I wasn’t wishing
to interact.
Then I was at this fair and my best friend kept ditching me for
these girls. It was so disappointing. So I went down the stairs of
the apartment; long stairs, and I was carrying these heavy bottles
of water back and forth, continually returning to the front door
of the apartment. Not sure what I was doing. I had just left my
friend and the two girls and was very upset because I didn’t see
him as any more desirable than me but the two girls were acting
like I didn’t exist and they kept leaving me behind and when I
showed up to confront him they all just were like... spaced out
and not answering me. I kept thinking that I would take the wa-
ter bottle and return to the fair and just walk around but never
did and just kept going in circles around the apartment area until
running into the black guys.
So I went and did the thing with the water, going down into this
canyon, and on the way back I encountered these two guys help-
ing out a celebrity—all three of them black. So I kind of hovered
around the area trying to be seen by the celebrity too, just for the
hell of it. And the guy was asking for different favors from them,
like a fleece blanket that had the name of a specific company em-
blazoned/imprinted on it, because he thought it would be funny
if it was not a brand but some nonsensical company that didn’t
usually get advertised in this way and I laughed to myself because
it sounded like something I had done.
1804
Then I was on some weird cliff road with my father at night time
and it was really shady and I was trying to figure out how he got
away with murder, and studying his midnight route, and it was
very suspicious and dark and weird. I can’t describe it. Because he
was trying to shake me so he could be alone but I kept following
him down this mountain trail
Until I went to Walmart. I went into Walmart and there was a

CD spill all over the floor. I sort of waltzed over it even though
I realized they were my CD’s, as in the CD’s in my case. I saw
all the good ones lying here and they had been there for weeks
and people were not allowed by law to touch them. The cops had
written down which ones were there and instructed people not
to take them. Though they were sure that some people still had,
while waiting for the owner to claim them. And for some reason
I wouldn’t. At some point after I passed the CDs this boy showed
up and we started strangely attempting to kill one another, but
it was done in this very passive way, so it didn’t seem like that’s
what was happening at first. The possessed child went ahead of
me to follow my orders and dig a hole, and he got into the hole
at my command, and he had this ax, and I was trying to push it
down upon him, and there was an ax and a crown, and we were
fighting. And it was such a weird situation because only a mo-
ment earlier we seemed to be on good terms, but now I was try-
ing to see him killed.
In the next scene the two of us had filler (?) to kill one another.
We were still in Walmart, and we had been called to attend some
public meeting. So we’re sitting next to each other wearing these
signs that say something like “I need your help” speaking to oth-
ers about supporting our battle but it was more endearing and
desperate like “he needs you.”
A few minutes later I walked into a room where Asia was at and
she was watching some 80’s movie and I told her “You know,
I’ve never seen the ending of this one,” and she goes “I’m sure
you have.” And then I remembered something about two pro-
tagonists who were brothers dueling to the end, decreasing to
the point where they were like these flies and then returned the
womb and were fighting and only one could win by killing the
other but by then he was only a four (?). Maybe the boy in the
store was me.
SLIME PIT
I got kicked out for going up into the top floor where music
practice was being held in some circular space and I said I’d like
to watch and they told me to get out so I climbed back down
through a hole in the floor on the second floor and there was
a more rock music style playing by people in a circle. A small
round room.
And I tried to go into the hole in that floor but I couldn’t fit and
I’m like what the fuck why can’t I fit. Then some guy was try-
ing to go out the hole in that floor to the lower flower and he
couldn’t fit and we’re trying to figure out why they didn’t make
enough space for the adults to get out so he squeezes his way
through and it looks super uncomfortable and I feel bad for him
‘cause he’s even bigger than me, round. A Mexican guy. Then I
look past him into what’s below him and I see a pit of slime like
a sewer and I’m like wait are we sure this is the right hole and I
felt scared for him ‘cause now he couldn’t get back up and the
rock band is just playing loudly in a circle around us and people
couldn’t hear us shouting for assistance. And I run to the next
room where there are snacks and hummus because I think I re-
member seeing another hole there.
All of this happened after that part where I was following that
guy around the house looking for something to do. He said he
was a free spirit and didn’t like to sit for anything. Just likes to
wander. I asked him if he knew Kenny, because he reminded me
of him, but he said no. He was laughing about how all the people
in one room are watching the shuttle to see if it will crash upon
take off and starts laughing about how it’s almost guaranteed to
crash, but says he doesn’t really care to watch. Then I went and
1807
pressed my eyes against the window of a room, and there were

like a dozen people gathered around a television watching some
shuttle launch.
Before this was the part where I went into the kitchen to get
some hummus crackers. It was good hummus, but it was filled
with bits of crackers and chips that had broken off in previous
scoops.
Before that is the part where I freaked out to find my kale had
been left out on the table for more than two hours and attempt-
ed to seal it up and have it refrigerated immediately to avoid bac-
teria growth.
Before this was the part where I asked my mom if she had gotten
my sixty dollars refunded from the place that we’re at. And she
said “she’s not going to. It’s not necessary.” And I freaked out.
“That’s why we were here.” She was with Colleen, and she wanted
me to hush because I was near the service window. We were
standing outside. And then my dad came by and agreed with her
that I didn’t need it refunded, and my dad looked super old and
crazy, like my mother; so I said something like “Okay, Christo-
pher Lloyds.” And they found that funny. But I’m seriously try-
ing to figure out why both of my parents look like Christoper
Lloyd.
Before this... hmmmm. Oh it was that part where I was out in

this large yard after most of the people went off together to do
some errand... I think this was right after my mother refused to
help, but before I said it in front of my father a second time, so
before the Christopher stuff, ‘cause he was currently gone. There
was a little space in between the two times, and in that space I
went into the yard and tried to pick up some of the toys lying
around and organize them, but upon kicking an orange ball a
dog comes out of nowhere, a big dog, and it’s so excited, so when
it runs after the orange ball I run back onto the deck. Then when
it gets the ball it comes running back and I’m hoping it doesn’t
see me, since I think it wants to play catch, but it didn’t follow
me.
OATMEALOCRACY
Part with sitting with dad and Asia in that dirty place. Then I
went to make something with the microwave and talked with
dad in the kitchen. There was that part where mom was being su-
per cranky. So I went in there and I asked her what was wrong
but then told her off and called her an asshole, opening the door
and closing quickly.
At the end of the dream I was looking at something to do with

politics and creating some presentation on the dangers of theoc-
racy. I remember sitting in my room, eating oatmeal. This basi-
cally just sounds like reality.
1810
INTRUDER
What happened was Asia and I were sitting on the Pine Hill
deck with Gizmo. I kept hearing barking but it sounded like Giz-
mo so I didn’t consider it at first. Then I walked to the edge of the
deck and looked over to the fence which separated the yard from
the street, and I saw another Maltese dog staring through a gap in
the fence, so I started making barking, woofing noises in a spir-
it of silliness. That’s when I saw a haggard, disheveled man mov-
ing around behind the wooden fence right next to the dog, and
he was peeking at us. He had been standing there for minutes
with his dog. Asia and I immediately went back in the house, but
the door was boarded up all strangely so we needed to open it
in an unusual way and crawl underneath this obstructive element
nailed across the top. Then we went inside and called our fa-
ther who was either watching television or playing video games,
telling him there was some suspicious man standing outside by
the hole in our fence. My father didn’t care enough to even look
over at us. He was just like “yeah okay.” I’m yelling at my father
and he turns and I see his mouth and nose are all swollen and
I’m like what the fuck happened, are you okay, do you need to be
hospitalized? Are you dehydrated? What the hell?
I ran to the window and looked back outside and now the man is
literally taking down the fence with a tool or something, knock-
ing out the individual planks and pushing on the fence so that
the whole thing sways in waves. Me and Asia are shouting to my
father and finally he gets up to check. Then he steps out on the
deck with his gun.
He goes outside into the deck, facing the stairs, and shoots al-
most immediately. I didn’t understand at first why but apparent-
1811
ly it was a warning shot meant to make him turn around but it

did no such thing and the man kept advancing toward my father
with some sort of weapon or tool. At that point I considered get-
ting a hammer or knife from my bedroom and standing by in
case the guy took out my father, but my father ended up taking
care of it, though I’m not sure what happened. I don’t know if
the guy was shot or if he fled.
Dad’s sisters and some other relatives of ours then showed up at

our house after hearing what happened. I was shirtless and pissed
off and not facing the company. I ignored them and mostly spoke
to my mother, saying mostly pissed comments.
“Oh great now dad can have selective memory relating to the
experience after the fact which sees him as the hero who em-
pathizes with his attacker, and also like he went out there and
took charge immediately and didn’t completely fucking ignore
me and Asia screaming for help for minutes.”
I recounted the story of the dog and the fence twice. Once for fa-
ther when telling him what was happening outside and then for
mother later on while company was over. I also recounted how
my father handled the situation and how his face was swollen
and we were asking if he needed to be hospitalized, but the
swelling had gone away by this time.
I remember dad’s sister gifted him a black king chess piece or a

sculpture of one, and when my mother saw that she made this
“ooooh” noise like anticipating that I would be even more pissed
off with him for some reason.
I saw that the candy dish was out so I pointed to the dish and
asked my mother if we had candy corn and she said “no but we
have these” while opening the blue tin. It was an assortment of

homemade sweets. “When did we get these” “Oh today”
I reached for these long little kolachi looking things, saying

“oooh yeah”
Had little bits of walnut on the outside. My mother then said a

word that sounded like “Zoekilm.” And I said “Zoekilm, is that
the cheese?” It tasted Like unusually sharp cheddar.
MR. EGGLESTON
I was on some sort of ship or something this whole time, and I
just stepped away from something important I was doing, like
maintaining some competition, because I was fed up and had to
piss.
I had come into this cabin after being outside and getting pissed,
because I had to actually piss. And in the bathroom it wasn’t a
normal bathroom or even a bathroom at all so I’m not sure why
I was in there. This guy was sleeping on the drum set in the cor-
ner. He woke up when I entered and we chatted about different
drum fills from prog, and people, then I woke up.
We were discussing this producer, and I said I knew him because

he appeared with his friend on a tv program. And I was like
“Does the guy you are speaking of have a sort of Mr. Bean look?”
And he’s like kinda yeah. Mr. Eggleston. He knew what to say to
trigger the best reactions and that was his psychological knowl-
edge. Apparently. He was a drummer.
1814
FORMAL DINNER
Annie and I were staying in this place. At first we were all having
dinner or something with our parents (mine and hers). The at-
mosphere was very formal, but the dinner was cereal, like Frosted
Flakes, and I kept going back for more and more, like three
bowls. I was trying to be super gentlemanly and composed. The
seating was weird. It wasn't a table but many small booths. So An-
nie and I were sitting alone.
When it was time to go to bed for the night, the two of us went
off into our own separate cubicle within this place where every-
one else was staying. We fell asleep in bed. I was worried that oth-
ers would walk in. But then I noticed there was a door. And she
was surprised to find one. We held one another for a while even
though we were having problems and we seemed to know that
things weren’t going to work out. Very vivid.
Later on, either in the middle of the night or the following

morning, I remember looking at my phone which had been on
silent the whole time and I laughed because I had been streaming
death and black metal playlists the whole time and so anyone
who was watching what I was listening to would (on Last.fm or
something) would think that’s what we were listening to but it
had been on volume 0 the whole time.
This came before the weird ending opera song. This was when
those people were planning that game which came out with the
release of that black metal documentary, and one of the cues was
to sing an opera song about your result. That’s when I woke up.
1815
DOC STAR
I was browsing YouTube and randomly came across some video
online that had to do with myself. Someone had put together a
mini documentary of attempting to find the creator of a partic-
ular work and I’m like shit that was me. So I’m watching and
while it didn’t overtly have to do with me it made a lot of allu-
sions to my work and trying to figure out ‘who the genius behind
this was’.
He traveled all around and spliced in some other funny clips.

And it was funny. Eventually I found myself in an office building
where some guy was giving a speech, holding a cake. It was a
celebration. I knew it had to do with me but no acknowledge-
ment had yet been made. He was speaking anonymously saying
things like “and the guy is here tonight but he doesn’t know it,”
although I did know it. And I wasn’t about to say something and
out myself. And he held up this cake saying “the Germans are go-
ing to feed it to him and then something something are going
to...” There was this really hilarious set up he had in mind that
has to do with history. No clue. Since none of it made sense in
reality, although I think it had to do with war, he was trying to
say that I was more hardcore than the most famous soldiers and
so he kept making all these war allusions. But the speech seemed
to go on for so long and I was so tired due to my sleep schedule
and I worried I couldn’t stay up. I was looking around at all the
people and it was maybe thirty to forty people gathered here. We
watched some guy dancing in the office with a kazoo. Doing la
cucaracha or something.
I remember sitting there looking around and listening to them

talk thinking ‘what if I fall asleep before it’s all over and done’.
1816
Because I’m so tired I’ve been up all day and didn’t expect this.
As I was thinking this tiredness came over me and I shut my eyes
and then I lifted them briefly and I saw a guy standing in front
of my face looking at me as if trying to get my attention, but I
couldn’t keep my eyes open any longer. I smiled knowingly at
them, but I couldn’t do anything about it. It was a very weird per-
spective. To have blinked and to know that minutes have already
passed in my dream, very realistically. And then woke up.
PHONE CALL FROM LAJOS
Almost throwing up after smelling the candle chips on the table.
Dads all up in my face. Him talking about some sort of carbon-
ated water beverage.
Looking for Asia in the neighborhood. There was that weird

light thing going on in this neighborhood. I went into the light
and laid on the top of the pick up truck next door. I ran down
the street looking for Asia when I heard my mom telling me she’s
with Chelsea at her house or something so I yelled “FUCK!” re-
ally loud while heading back and this is when the light part hap-
pened I think.
Before the scene with my father on the couch where he jammed

his elbow in my face I was helping to set up a shop or something
with my mother. And everything was minimalistic and from a
party that happened a decade ago or something. So there was
nostalgia for me.
Very early on in the dream I got a call on the phone from Lajos.
My father was expecting a call and picked up but then got an-
noyed when it was for me so told me I could only talk for a
minute. I took the phone which was the old peach corded phone
in the Londonberry basement and I went through the outside
door and stood in the driveway around the corner while the cord
came through the crack in the door. I forget what he said but
it was deeply interesting and symbolic rambles. We talked for a
very long time. It was after this part that I ended up in a store
around clothes racks, still thinking about Lajos. Then I went to
help my mother with some physical storefront which was very
minimalistic. There was a television and a few modern weird
1818
things on shelves. At one point my mother left the store and it

was just me standing around.
SWITCH
I seemed to take the place of my friend and I was living with
his girlfriend and his younger siblings. I was sitting with his girl-
friend on the couch in an unfamiliar location, watching a zombie
movie recorded in Greece/Israel? And I asked if it was accurate
apart from the zombies, historically speaking. I remember seeing
a little and it felt like I was in it and it was super bloody. This guy
was just a pool of blood.
She had crazy desserts in her fridge, like some Oreo thing that
had been melted down to form one giant brick. She offered me
some, but I was hesitant since I don’t eat things, but I wanted to
try. We had a weird relationship at this point. Sitting beside one
another on the couch. She called the shots, but I kept instigating
things. I hadn’t slept all night and was super tired. At one point I
walked into the bathroom and just stared at myself in the mirror
thinking about how tired I was and not knowing if I could make
it any longer, but I didn’t want to upset anyone.
Eventually we went to see her siblings in another place; her fam-

ily. Although it may have been family, or the family of the guy
with whom I had changed places. It was a big house. I walked
up to the attic room where the kids were. All about 8-11 years
old. Previously I had been up in the kids room. With my friend’s
girlfriend and like three other younger girls. I think the gf left
me alone here though. One of the girls tricked me into putting a
braid in my hair. She was clearly amused. She was like “you’ve got
something in your hair” and acted like she was getting something
out and after her pretending to search for like a minute or so I
hear her laughing and realizing I’ve now got a giant braid strand
in my hair.
1820
All the parents came home. There was also one other old guy
who sat in the computer room by the steps and came out when
he had the cat stumble down the stairs. See, two cats following
me upstairs. One cat stumbled on the way and fell down the
stairs, partly my fault. People on the lower floor rushed out to see
what happened. I was amazed by the steepness of the steps and
blamed them, but they said “oh no they usually traverse them just
fine.” Then I was standing in the attic when the mother walked
by with laundry. She didn’t really look at me. I was nervous to
meet her. I went down stairs and saw the father in the kitchen.
The father was like “I’ve heard of you, come with me.” At the end
with his father who was crazy into the occult and stuff. And I saw
clips of him on an occult talk show and suddenly knew where I
had seen him from. He was unhinged. Short guy, gray hair. Like
5”5. As soon as he saw me he just had a “I’ve heard about you
let me show you the ropes” kinda guy and sort of took me out to
dinner and whatnot. I was still super tired at this point because
this was the second day and I didn’t sleep before. So at dinner we
discussed occult literature. There were four or five others and I
kept failing to answer the questions, because I just didn’t know.
The topic of an Egyptian spell book came up. I tried so hard
to remember the name since it sounded familiar, but I couldn’t
even remember that and I felt like a failure because of how much
he expected of everyone. He was so hyper and coked up.
The man next to me then burst into song and we were all ex-
pected to leap to our feet and compete in something. So every-
one starts hopping up and down along this race course in the
dark. I’m hopping on my left foot and only my left foot, since my
right is injured and I was very worried about hurting it while try-
ing to impress him. I took an early lead, and I was doing great,
but the course was not clearly demarcated and so I went too far
past where I was supposed to turn and realize everyone turned
around. So I try desperately to catch up, cutting corners and

whatnot, but I end up completely off the track, on some other
track, and when I finally make it back I look at the scoreboard
and see that I didn’t even place. There’s a boy with longhair out
front who tells me he doesn’t like me because his dad likes me
more than him, and I said to him “Do you not know what hap-
pened, then?“ in reference to my losing the race. And then the
dad showed up and reiterated what I said. The dad is so upset
with me he doesn’t even want to talk to me, telling me I had an
early lead and just couldn’t hold it. I didn’t tell him I was ill and
sleep deprived and dezinezinet. But he was so mean to me it trau-
matized me. He was just using me for his business stuff. He was
like “I lost so much of the coke I bet!” He had bet drugs on me
and was so angry at the loss. So I left the ship in which all of
this transpired. On the way out there were girls taking a photo
and blocking the way, so I stood there for a moment before go-
ing through. And one of the girls says to her friends “I didn’t get
you, I got some creepy guy grinning,” in reference to the photo,
and I overheard her comment and asked “You mean me???” in a
jocular tone and they laughed. Then I left the building and this is
when I walked down the sidewalk and wandered over to the Red
Lobster across the street. It was the arena, meaning it was Wards
Road (which my family and I refer to as the ‘arena’ in reality... all
of those stores on Wards).
At the end I walked into a Red Lobster and just sulked, but I
got up after a few minutes and tried to walk somewhere else. I
walked through a college campus while graduation was taking
place and trying to find a way back to ‘my’ girlfriend’s house. I
was so upset because the father didn’t even ask me about what I
knew or try to see what I was good for. He just expected me to
know mainstream occult stuff which wasn’t my forte. I remem-
ber thinking that now I understood the kids better and how they
felt, to feel used and abused, and I was glad I could sympathize
with them at least.
OFFICE DRIVE
I was up in Asia’s old Londonberry room trying to convince my
mother to watch some David Bowie documentary.
Afterwards I left the house and went walking down the street in
the rain, desiring to go and sit at the park, but soon I realized I
didn’t have my music player on me and I was texting W on my
cell phone. Then I turned around and almost got hit by a car
which I didn’t realize was there but was now right in front of
me. I made it back to my house running and almost crashed into
Poppop’s car who had just arrived at my house also. And so both
him and my dad are telling some weird comment about how if
I caused any damage I’m paying for it. Went walking through
the utility room when I saw Nanny. And she was like “Hopefully
you don’t stink,” or something like that, and I said “I am wearing
perfume today.” Because she had something precious which she
didn’t want ruined by any sort of odor.
Then my father and I went out on a drive to take care of some

errands. Someone else was with us, though I don’t know who. It
wasn’t my grandfather. Our first stop was an office building. We
had issues with the keys and getting in but it was more of a small
office and the guy I was with, who was like this agent, wasn’t con-
vinced that this was where we were supposed to be so we went
looking for this second place.
We showed up at the next plant and the outside was a mess.

Like a dump covered with old toys and items. Carnivalesque, I
would say. We got in the building and the smells were so weird.
The main guy did NOT like this. We were asking “What’s that
smell?!” And he pointed to a gas tank and said “This ain’t your
typical home basement gas tank.” And he was like “I don’t like
1824
this. Let’s get out of here.” While heading out I saw in the trash
a Mario and I said “Not without this!” And then I see Bowser
nearby and I say “And this!” They were like these large glossy
puppet weird things that seemed like they were part of some
store display once upon a time, decades ago when the franchise
was in its early stages. And I went to bring them into the truck.
Me and the other guy got back in the back of the truck but then I
realized I could sit back up front again and I was like damn I just
got all set up back here. So that’s when the other guy showed up
who wanted to join us. This guy was trying to get into our truck
and join us. We said there was no room. He was saying he would
be our ‘vitch’, which was basically what I was supposed to be.
WHAT’S A FILE
There was a lot that went on before this but it was rather con-
fusing because I had been laying in a liminal state of sleep for a
while while trying to recall the details of the previous dream and
it was getting progressively harder for me to tell which was my
old dream and which was new hallucinations; so there was a lot
of weird stuff before I found myself in this room. And even be-
fore that, I feel like I had been out for a drive with my father
In the earliest sensible scene I had been documenting my dreams.

I was sitting on my computer in a rec room not too unlike the
Londonberry family room. Across the room was Asia. I couldn’t
speak. And my father comes by and makes an allusion to a recent
dream I had shared with him. Since Asia didn’t understand. I be-
gan trying to type up an explanation. But I never sent it. Then
my father had walked out of the room and rendered and saw me
typing and hooking up the speakers. He mocked me sort of, ask-
ing what I'm up to and why I'm looking things up. Asia was like
“I don’t know what he’s doing.” I was hurt by the disparaging way
that they were speaking about me. Because I was booking up the
speaker so that I could more easily communicate with her across
the room since I was mute, and I had been typing a short de-
scription of last night's dream so as to fill her in on the illusion
dad had just made but I decided not to. Then I opened up a pro-
gram of monster sounds or something and started making them
through the stereo to amuse myself
He came in and said some mocking stuff. He was being intrusive,

and said “It’s not normal for someone to sit here and send mon-
ster growls through a computer speaker!” And I said “If I wanted
to be normal, If I wanted to be like you, If I wanted to be boring,
1826
then I would have been; but that’s not something that I’ll ever
ever want to be.”
At this point the girl on the other side of the room, who was
previously Asia, had changed to this attractive girl. She asked me
something about the name of some mythological character and
what it means in real life and asked if it relates to computers, and
I answered “Yeah, I think it relates to when a file is improperly
deleted or the place it goes after being recycled but the comput-
er still recognizes it.” So she then asks “What’s a file?” And I say
“Oh, an image, a document, anything.” So then my dad comes
out of the bathroom after brushing his teeth or whatever, and
he’s on his way out the door, so she asks him, and he gives a com-
pletely different answer, although the first word is illegible and
we can figure out what he said so she goes to look it up after he
leaves.
SANTA
I was touring a city. It had just rained or was lightly raining, so
it wasn’t ideal, and a lot of the usual attractions weren’t open or
in their best shape as a result. Yet we walked through these al-
leys. And I remember that over on the hill I was staring trying to
make out if any of the animals were out. And there were. There
were these two animals that appeared like men. And I kept say-
ing to the others “Look, do you see them? Like two men with big
coats over on the sports field!” They were running around play-
ing a game or something, but they were supposed to be animals.
I was sitting in that public place at the end of the tour chatting
with some little girl online, presumably from Russia, who
thought I was Santa Claus. I was sitting in a little café. I had gone
over to the end of the room to the PC while the others put in
their orders and the wallpaper on PC was a teletubby. Messages
kept popping up asking if I was Santa. So I responded by act-
ing as though I was Santa. Then eventually Asia interrupted by
coming over and asking which car I was taking. And people were
about to leave. But at this time it seemed the girl had stopped
speaking. She asked like five questions. So we exchanged that
many messages back and forth. They were simple messages about
what I like and about friendship. But then at the end her moth-
er seemed to catch what she was doing and came in and left one
final clarification message for me. It was so cute what was hap-
pening though. I think the people I was with were confused as to
what I was doing.
When I returned home I began unwinding since I hadn’t slept

the night before, so I was super tired and I was really upset be-
cause apparently I had recently reached out to Rocky and one or
1828
two others and they weren’t kind to me at all, having dropped

communication. I got a call from Isaac, and I was barely listen-
ing, but I knew it was him and he left a message on the answering
machine saying something like “I have a day off, so let’s hang out.”
It was 7:19 PM, or it was when he called, but it took me a little
bit to get back to it since I was busy when he called. And I felt
bad because I really wanted to go out with him but I was way past
my bedtime and couldn’t manage it. Then my dad shows up in
the computer room and he’s doing something on the other end
of the room at the other PC. I believe this is the part where God
came up in conversation and I became irritated by something
having to do with the topic. Then I tried to replay Isaac’s message
on the answering machine, but I was having difficulty navigating
to the newest message, and when I did it was just a telemarketer
call... and a woman, who sounded like a psychic. I said “Damm-
mmmit. What is this...” and I listened for twenty seconds before
getting pissed and cursing and deleting the message, but then I
doubted Isaac ever called. Later I feared that that was Isaac after
all just playing a joke on me. I was cursing a lot and getting angry
and then I made some antireligious statements to my father be-
cause he was being a fool. So I was cursing but for some reason he
wasn’t reacting negatively to what I was saying. And then I was
thinking that maybe the two of us could go for a drive. But then
I thought back to all the jokes we used to play on each other... me
and Isaac. I tried to restore the message but couldn’t seem to do
so and then ended up hearing this old song that I had apparently
made at some point, which sounded really great and poppy.
The last line of verse said:
“Shine a light on those simple birds
Away from the fire

The chorus featured the line:
“Like Sparta, and Doc Marta”
Then I awoke.
HOUSE OF THE PAST
At the start of the dream I was in a prison-like house. It was Pine
Hill, technically speaking, but it was also a prison. It felt very
strange. Some of my cousins were present, along with my father,
and they were interacting. My father was a part of the next scene
as well, although I don’t recall what happened. It resulted in my
escape attempt. I managed to escape through the window at one
point and ran until I reached this pasture with goats. It was just
this farmland expanse. After traveling through the countryside I
eventually hopped the fence into this active outdoor festival that
was taking place.
There was a part here that I don’t recall all that well.
After a bit of walking I sat at a booth which required me to wear

VR glasses to order food from an individual who may or may
not even been there without the glasses. He was like some sort of
strange cartoony cowboy guy or something like that—like an an-
imatronic outlaw—and I was one of their first customers as they
were testing this out, which is why my order was so basic I think.
They only had like one or two options. I ordered the main sand-
wich for which they were known. Barely had enough money to
cover it. But then I discovered I dropped some of my money on
the floor beneath the table. Only a couple bucks. But my father,
who somehow ended up here and was no longer being violent to-
ward me, picked it up and cleaned it off for me. And two street
guys were watching so I was afraid they were gonna challenge the
fact that it was mine and try to take it from me.
That came after I almost got in that conflict with that huge guy
at the fernig. And it was a Busy place. Weird looking guy. Huge.
Weird shaped everything. Almost ran into me as I was sidling
1831
along the wall. He was like what are you looking at?'' And I was
like i'm sorry, I thought you liked my shirt. And he’s like why
would I. Fortunately he didn’t beat me up but I feared he lost to
a follow me. He had a really tacky nineties look. Nineties outfit
with neon colors and a weird haircut with bangs that cut straight
across and blocky hair. It was weird and he was sort of Hispanic.
Not thin, but not fat. Simply large.
I continued on to my usual place which wasn’t far at that point.

I turned left. Into this bustling little arcade place. And then
climbed this ladder. Things felt a little cartoonish ish for a mo-
ment. Toyish, childlike. I climbed a ladder up this chimney like
structure. And I heard someone was welcoming me. Extremely
difficult to explain. But I climbed the ladder into another dimen-
sion. Which was the past... as in past time. And apparently I did
this regularly. I did it to escape my abusive life and parents. This
place was operating on a different standard of time so it was like
fourteen years behind the present or something. And the dog...
I don’t know if it was supposed to be Scarlet or Buffy or neither.
But it was a white poodle. And it had finally lost its voice. And
just made these sad little mute sounds when trying to bark. So I
was sad. Knowing next week it or would die.
Oh and later in that Past House. I remember that the first thing
I did was like going in and jumping on the bed and doing tricks
but as soon as I heard the dog and knew that time was still mov-
ing on I got sad and decided it was time to leave here too. And
then went to the bathroom.
I had snuck out of the prison like place to come here. And there
was a woman who lived here who seemed like Nanny. But it was
all out of time. And I was in the bathroom pissing before we left.
And as I pissed I noticed I was pissing on a cd insert of a Staff ’s
Blender album, which was the album I put out when I was four-
teen, strangely enough. It looked like it was covered in dirt, as
well. I tried to wash it off and kept it anyway. And I had flash-
backs to Tyler (who was in Staff ) saying to someone “oh this
wasn’t a joke! This was really us. This was really us doing what we
thought was cool.”
It was just a super sad visit. because I always came here to have
my spirits lifteD From the other prison place. But now that time
was catching up to where things got bad. I had nowhere left to
turn.
Also, toward the very beginning of the dream I recall there being
a scene in which I was working on videos for YouTube on my
phone while listening to some sort of motivational speech. I
seem to recall there being some vaguely sexual interaction with
Jeiezza.
THE OTHER GREEN COUCH IS
LONGER
At the end of the dream I was watching some tutorial video on
some guy shaving his frog. Literally. And he was talking about
how you must be careful, since they, the frogs, don’t like the ex-
perience. He wasn’t really listing any reasons, just talking about
how strange it will look in the end.
Before that my dad was trying to find a place to sleep and passed
out in my bedroom at my desk, although it was now my current
bedroom. I had mom wake him up since it was 8 minutes till he
was leaving for work and I wanted to make sure he was aware of
that. I asked him if he could at least move. If he was gonna con-
tinue sleeping as he was. So he was like “I guess the floor is more
spacious.” And mom suggests the green couch in the line hill liv-
ing room, and as he’s getting onto the couch I’m like “The other
green couch is longer” And I’m pretty sure I talked in my sleep
‘cause I could hear myself, saying something about how the green
couch was longer. And I was like “I’ve gone years without talking
and I can’t believe the first thing I say is “the other green couch is
longer.”
Before this was that roller coaster scene. There were like three
or four rides and they were all very similar. I think they were all
chess themed and each one started similarly and simply had a dif-
ferent drop. I think I rode them with my father or some other
guy and it made me sad because I saw it as a bonding experienc-
ing but then when I wanted to talk to them about it in the end
they just had a ‘why are you talking to me’ attitude, as if riding it
with them wasn’t enough
1834
And before that was that scene where Asia and all of us were
watching some video premier. Or maybe that wasn’t it. I don’t
know. But she had come into my Pine Hill room where I was sit-
ting in my corner where Razzle and the tv used to be... on the
wall by the entry, and we were talking. I was sitting at my desk.
I also think there was a big conflict with my father before he fell
asleep.
Very early on I went to Nanny and Poppop’s old neighborhood.

And take a walk down the street by where pat lived. I think some
dog followed me. Okay, there was weird stuff with dogs way ear-
lier but that might have been a different dream.
There was also this stuff with me getting all these N64 cartridges
for my birthday of all the games I wanted when I was a kid but
wasn’t allowed to get at the time.
Oh man, I remember walking around in my bedroom toward the

end of the dream practicing power metal vocals wondering how
they did it. So I was doing this very 80’s style vocals which didn’t
sound bad at all. Kind of iron maideny.
Pretty sure a big part of the dream has to do with raising funds
for a school.
ESCAPE FROM CHURCH
Order. Church/reality show, department store, attic/window leap,
escape through the gate, driven to apartment, pack up, car, Best Buy
I escaped this asylum-like place. I fled. I was being driven around

by this guy. We went left of the city, to a place with all of these
happy signs. It was a place I heard about. Like there was a saying
about this place, taking the left exit.
I saw all of this scenery I didn’t normally see. As we left the loca-
tion. Desert-like. Men on the roadside with cacti and it felt more
western. I loved it. Drive the midwest. Uncle Jamie said I could
come stay with him temporarily, but I didn’t know that that was
the best decision.
I was in the car with JL and one other guy. I gave JL a hug upon
arrival and he liked it but he also commented that it was weird.
So I asked “Is it weird... but you want to like it?” And he said
“Yeah.” For a second I thought he was driving and thought we
had a driver. Then I remembered. Before we went into Best Buy.
I said oh no, make sure there’s no picture out in the news about
me. The guy picked up his phone and said “Of course there won’t
be.” And acted like it would be an amber alert. And I am like
“No... like, news.” Then I said “They didn’t take a mugshot of
me...” Then I thought “Oh no...” and I recalled some of the em-
barrassing photos I left in the drawer.
The church place, That I left during service. I fled. I fled through
this department store-like setting. Put into the parking lot.
Where there was this gate. I dropped from a high up balcony
in a weird way. I was very, very high up and from the window. I
1836
had been up in the attic with a girl. Then I left through the gate.
There was something on the ground.
I returned to the apartment in “happy town” and briefly I was

like this is perfect I could stay here, but it was a trap, because I
was like “Wait, we visited here before. They know I’ll come back.
They set this up.” So I was sad but I grabbed as many things as
I could. There was a video game console and the dresser drawers
were filled with other stuff like my Dean clothes. I saw my Dean
wig and Baltimore prison short shorts. I packed my suitcase as
full as I could but only took one case. I wanted to stay, though I
assumed that they would be here within hours.
I kept having the guy drive ‘left’. This city from which I was es-
caping had a certain reputation, and it was known that the city
to the left was more ‘smiley’. When we crossed the short bridge
out of town we came across all of these ‘happy’ road signs.
But what the hell did I escape? It was a church. Oh god, there
was a reality show type thing too where everyone was lined up
in little pockets on the wall, like in an opera. I was seated across
from my parents but sitting with strangers. I was sitting beside
some guy while watching a show like Survivor. It was very awk-
ward. I accidentally leaned into him on a couple occasions. He
was not friendly, though I still tried to be like. I would ask “So
who is your favorite?” And then I tried to think of my own fa-
vorite, but then I remembered the guy I picked was voted out the
previous week.
After all of this we were being given a short break before we

would be called back for another worship ceremony and I want-
ed nothing of it. So I ran out the door into a department store-
like setting. I thought I was with Asia at first but I lost her along
the way. She didn’t make it. Going high into the upper levels.
Opened a window before security found me. Jumped. It should

have killed me, but I think I imagined myself to be a leaf or some-
thing weightless drifting down through the air and that helped
me survive the height.
There was a strange, unexplainable part as I prepared to leave

through the gates and it carried with a strong, nostalgic tone, as
if it had to do with my remembering back when I initially arrived
in this location, and I was fulfilling something by leaving. And
there was a plastic wrapper or sign on the ground to remind me
of that day. I ran along the roadway until I guess I was picked
up by a friend or acquaintance, who was a middle-aged man. It
wasn’t until later that JL appeared, but he appeared suddenly.
We drove to an apartment complex that I had been to just before

church. They had taken me there to drop off my stuff. I was like
this is perfect. There’s a kitchen and tv and I could stay here.
But then I realized it was a setup. I even thought “am I better
off not taking anything? Because now they’ll know that we were
here and continue following the ‘left’ path” but I needed stuff to
live... clothes, pillow, food.” Driving around through cities was so
vivid. It was a dark and rainy night, but I found it to be pleas-
ant. I wanted to check for my mugshot on the news, but my
phone didn’t have cellular service in the car. I even wondered if
they would find us via the car. I remember I did a long rumbling
fart while the driver ran into his apartment. The other guy just
looked at me and I apologized and said that I was stressed.
THE APOCALYPSE
I was in the road out in front of my childhood home, sitting in a
car. I had gotten in a fight with my father, who refused to let me
do something. I locked myself in the car in the cold for days. It’s
possible that I was a child when this occurred.
There were references to my music at one point. Later I was walk-

ing with TW through the aisles of the store and I kept pointing
out all the different toys and figurines as we walked through the
toy aisle, and he’s like “Why are you so obsessed with toys when
you should be focused on such and such,” And I said “I don’t ever
end up buying any. It’s just something I like to stare at.” Then we
went to get food.
So okay... me and Anita were together. I think TW became her.

As in I remember shopping with her after shopping with TW.
We were picking up snacks or some other items before we were
to leave. And then we were in this outdoor music festival, but
kind of an apocalyptic field. We ran into that group of people
and it was just uncomfortable, because Anita really wanted to
talk to them for some reason. When that bus rolled around she
really wanted to be on the bus. Someone called her a four let-
ter acronym meaning a young woman who looks old and tried to
explain how it wasn’t meant to be offensive, but it sure sounded
like it and I took offense for her. Those people were jerks and I
don’t know why they were taking to us. Then they looked at me
and called me an acronym for a straight man that hardly seems
straight and I shrugged, like “ehh, who am I to deny it.”
She seemed to be feeling very sentimental or anxious or doubt-

ful, like she was second guessing her decisions and wishing she
was someone else with a different life. Then I remember she
1839
handed me her phone or I took it, I saw she was getting messages
from her old boyfriend, which was Ally’s old boyfriend, and I’m
like what’s this, and that’s when we were talking to this guy. I for-
get who the guy was, but he was the driver. And that’s when a
bus rolled in. Giant bus. And it was going to take everyone some-
where, and Anita was having second thoughts about where she
wanted to go, and I say Anita but it seemed like Annie at this
point, and I was getting upset with her. So we stood there be-
side those other groups for minutes while standing around all
of the oncoming vehicles and shuttles. And then she said she
would be right back. I waited minutes but she stopped answering
her phone. So I took my phone and I slapped it angrily against
the bumper of a bus or shuttle next to me, and all of the people
around me who were in conversation then stopped and looked at
me. It didn’t feel like I was crying but someone asked “Why are
you crying?”
I said I’m not crying, but Anita ran off a minute before our de-
parture to do god knows what. So that black girl helped me find
her. She ran around the corner where the bar was, but when she
returned to report back to me she had a look on her face and said
“Not here.” And I said “I know that face.” I knew she saw her, and
I told her I remember this scene vividly from ‘last time’, but don’t
recall how it played out. And when I say ‘last time’ I mean that I
had lived this scene, this life, once before, and this is the moment
where things began to feel more spooky and mystical. I told her I
remember the moments leading up to it and I remember the ten
minutes that I stood before entering the “Scottish yard” where
something took place, where all the people were dining at their
tables.
The moments leading up to my finding Anita, though never con-

cluding, felt like the situation in 2007, with my ex and the ‘run-
ner’, but also vaguely like Annie somehow. Yeah, I keep saying
that this was Anita in the dream because of how she looked but
she was basically a conglomerate of these three girls and did not
actually act like Anita at all.
I knew that all of this had happened before. Especially when that
black woman told me that she was not at the bar. In my mind
I saw Anita speaking to a guy, helping someone out, but I don’t
know what I thought that to represent. I knew there was a bad
scene coming up, and it felt so ominous, and the girl was freaked
out when I told her I remember this moment vividly from last
time. The moments leading up to the point where everything
changed. Only I didn’t think the sirens would then go off and
we’d all turn around to see some guy lying dead on the overhead
concert monitor. So maybe the horrible event I predicted had
nothing to do with Anita. It was just a precursor to something
else catastrophic.
The whole last scene was absolutely horrific. The giant, apocalyp-
tic proportions of everything.
That’s when the huge giant screens/monitors in the air turned

creepy. Sirens rang out. A gunshot sounded. Did the singer shoot
himself ? The singer of the concert going on. Was it the singer?
Someone died? On the video screen there was a gigantic image
of Jesus Christ bleeding everywhere from his wounds. The gun
shot sound ringing. The sound of screaming crowds filled the air.
Horrific screaming. I ran to find Anita but it was too late. A gi-
gantic Jesus Christ, larger than the Earth itself, fell down and
crushed the planet. And I saw it all happen from an outside per-
spective.
Funny about this moment was that a meme or inside joke from
earlier in the dream came into play at this point. A little sliver
of line, which looked like a proof of purchase, peeled up from

the ground after his fall, unscathed. But then Jesus raised up, like
lifting off of a skeletal corpse after sex, all bloody and noncha-
lant, but by now he had killed all the people in the world. And I
awoke. It was like the apocalypse. The population was dead.
At the end... okay, I’m hallucinating now, but I see this room, and
I hear the introduction to “Man Machine” by Kraftwerk, and some
crowd that sounds like tribal chanting, going “Miranda... Miran-
da.”
DIRTY
Some annoying guy came over to pick me up and my father kept
coming into my room and I told him off. Told me he didn’t want
me to go out so I was like fuck off.
I was trying to sell that guy a dirty manuscript. It was huge and
all in loose paper. My mom came out and saw it and flipped out
so I flipped out at her. The guy was like “No way, this is stupid.”
But then I told him that it was a notorious book that only got
stranger and stranger and that although it was meant to be writ-
ten as some normal womanizing porno, the protagonist gradual-
ly goes insane and by a certain point you’re questioning if what
is happening is real or not. So he agreed to give it another look
later on and I continued to lug around this stack of papers down
to the Pine Hill driveway. We were about to leave in his car, but
then I realized I was missing my kratom and one other herbal
thing but I don’t know what the other thing was supposed to rep-
resent. So I’m like dammit I have to go back in and get it so I’ll
have to pass by my dad again, dammit. So me and the guy went
straight to my room to start packing. And my father just comes
in and stands inside. Being a jerk. Told him off. My mother got
mad that I referred to her as the “less reliable parent” or “less put-
together parent.”
Earlier this was our house but how it was a collectible store and
all of us worked here. in the toy store with the figurine col-
lectibles. And trying to bring some of my things back to my
house so I didn’t lose them when I left with this guy.
Asia handed me a three-inch floppy disk and asked me to print

or upload something for her; some pictures. She was trying to
do some virtual reality thing and needed the right ‘face’, which
1843
she wanted to manipulate and animate. I took it down into the

Londonberry basement and attempted whatever she wanted but
I think there was an issue. On the way back to giving it to her I
had to step through some chaotic scene in the collectible store-
slash-house where apparently there was this demonstration go-
ing on with a model and some skincare product and something
had fallen over and it was a mess, so I walked over it.
Then we went riding around the lot on a scooter before eventu-

ally boarding a plane. I was trying to leave my scooter at the store
but realized I would need it to get to the airport. Though at first
I went to tie it up outside and it didn't seem safe so I just tried
to put it in the store. Had to step over tons of boxes while one of
the employees was stocking shelves and we got in a conversation
about rare dolls and I thought I had one but he said mine was
not totally real and had the hair glued on or something, so mine
wasn’t the rare kind.
Then I went outside and these kids loved my scooter, so I told

them I would let them ride it a bit more when we returned from
the trip.
Airport. Weird scenes kept happening where everyone was

crammed into this subway-like space and different vehicles were
merging and people were getting pushed into one another. I re-
member once when it was merging there was this attractive older
girl and I tried to stand in the right place and time it right so that
when the merge happened we would end up pushed together ha-
haha.
Those two guys were trying to interrupt a meeting as a joke and

put their upper bodies through the doorway and were speaking
nonsense, but they weren’t loud enough to achieve what they
wanted, so I squeezed in between them, barely fitting, and I
started yelling nonsense until we all got noticed and kicked out.
The guys felt satisfied as if they achieved their goal, but I was like
“Dude, that was all me.”
Walking through a packed hallway with a bunch of students and

one says to the other “I’ll subtitle your thing for five dollars,”
and I’m standing like four feet behind them while walking and I
accidentally comment loudly “Well, THAT sounds like a weird
transaction...”
Some girl kept telling ‘luggage jokes’ to fat kids, about how they
should just go in the luggage rack and something something. I
could tell that she didn’t have mean intentions but it sure did
sound strange.
SLEEPOVER OF SADNESS
I was working in a bookstore, but it was a slow day, so I was going
around looking inside children’s books, and occasionally I would
interact with this girl who also worked there with me. Though I
don’t remember much about these interactions. And every once
in a while I would also have to help customers find something.
But it was a slow day so I mostly just wandered and pondered.
I remember some sort of wordplay I kept doing. I’m pretty sure
this is the same girl that later slept over at my house. There was
a lot of spiritual and emotional depth to this dream which I’m
not able to capture in my recall. Lots of little nuances. Inner di-
alogues. Feelings and whatnot. Not like that’s unusual for my
dreams, but they often fall into the cracks during my reflections
which account for only the most obvious parts.
There were a lot of references made to another psychological idea

which was similar, and about which I had a song. I’d previous-
ly had ideas about this idea online. So the girl was like “What
about this?” And I was like “That’s similar, but not perfectly akin
to what I’m looking for.”
Then I went back to my house, but it was the Londonberry back-

yard. There was something before this that occurred outside. I
don’t know if it was before or between the library dream and
the sleepover part. There was this little pool. And this superhero
themed pool floaty set had been delivered by mistake to our
house. And I opened it. Unfortunately that meant I had to buy it
I guess. So I was getting in the pool when the UPS delivery man
came back realizing that he had dropped off the box to the wrong
residence. We had an interaction but I forget what. And I believe
there was a strange weirdo man involved in this backyard part.
1846
I feel like some weird but brief team activities happened previ-
ously; maybe after the pool part and before the sleepover part,
which explains why we were all together. Since we formed some
sort of...
Then I had some people stay the night at my house. Several peo-
ple, including the girl from before.
I slept next to Mike during the sleepover in my bedroom. I was

in the middle of the room. He was to my right. And then the girl
was on the couch just past that. He woke up at 6. Then I woke up
at 6:15 and he was already gone upstairs.
Then there was that part where that Englishman on my couch

was annoyed at this light spot in the room, and I was like
“Nooo.” That light spot was my biggest inspiration for months
and I sat in it for months while creating my best works. It was like
a light leak entering into this dark room. And so I went and sat in
it while the topic continued so as to show my appreciation. The
girl I liked had chimed in as well about what it meant to her. So
he reconsidered. The man looked and sounded like Steven Wil-
son.
At one point I had to go upstairs and ended up interacting with

my father. I remember when I went upstairs during the sleepover
it was just to use the bathroom or something but my father made
me handle some chore and I was so afraid of what he would make
me do since I was in the middle of my event and I didn’t want
him to ruin it for me if he didn’t like my performance. And I said
some words which he thought disrespectful and he launched in-
to this tirade and I was afraid he would make everyone go home
so I was like I’m sorry I’m sorry and I tried to make the prob-
lem end. But then I walked by the stairs and I saw my mom and
she looked briefly sympathetic to me and tried to get my dad to
stop doing this while people were over, so then I told her what
the problem was, and I immediately found out she wasn’t sym-
pathetic after all and began raising her voice in a “How dare you
come over and talk about dad like this to me.” Meanwhile I’m
trying to get her to quiet down so she doesn’t end up summon-
ing him over. And I just took off back down into my room, and
as I sat down next to the girl, tears rolled down my face. I barely
knew this girl so it was awkward that I was crying but once she
realized what I was doing she was sympathetic to me. I had really
hoped to spend the day with her somehow. Go some place with
her. The other people who had slept over had already left by now
so it was her and I.
I had just gotten back from going upstairs where my father had
forced me to do something in the bathroom or kitchen. I told the
girl “the older I get, the more freedom I get, the more submissive
they demand I appear.” Then I told her “I think because they can
be funny or nice when they want to throw people off... people
are still so primitive; and they hear these things and think there’s
no way they can be so bad, when they are capable of putting on a
friendly face around others.”
I came over to her and asked how she’s doing. I remember having
no time to change my underwear But I didn’t look at her. I was
obviously crying. But I kept my head turned away or up. And you
could only hear I was crying when I sniffed and it sounded snot-
ty.
I remember when the girl was over I looked at my shelf and no-
ticed I had three DVDs and I was like fuck, I just sold mine.
Someone on eBay had asked which ones I had and I listed them
off and then they offered me like 700$ bucks but I missed three
dvds on my shelf which belonged to that set.
PERSONAL ATTACK MODE
I was playing around with Asia and my father. First of all, I was
attempting to kill my father, since he had crossed some line and I
didn’t believe he was mentally capable of being good or sensible
anymore. So I went up and spoke to my mother and told her. He
was wandering the lower levels of the house. Looked like Pine
Hill mostly, but with some minor differences. I was in the Pine
Hill attic. I pretended to be on the toilet in case he came by. Af-
ter I sat around thinking and waiting for a bit, I did something
with a pile of clothes and then ran around. Suddenly I was in this
ship-like setting, running around the deck to get to these special
rooms in which guests would stay. And I made it to one large
room, but it had four doors so I had to quickly go around locking
all the doors before my father entered. I got the first three doors
locked, with some difficulty, even though by now Asia and dad
had caught up with me and tried to get in while I was locking
them. By the time I got to the fourth door lock it was a differ-
ent kinda door and fiddling with the lock caused it to open up
and a little creature carrying bombs came rushing in and started
bouncing everywhere. I was like “Aww fuck,” so I dashed through
the door but ended up running through these rows of sears (?)
where there sat all these other sort of villains and creatures and
they harmed me as I ran through, resulting in a ‘game over’ on
my end. This was right before I went to get another round on the
personal attack mode. It didn’t really feel like a video game be-
fore this point but did afterwards.
At the end, someone gave us another chance to redo the task

on ‘Personal Attack Mode’ which allowed us to be more aggres-
sive with the other people as well as do certain repetitive move-
ments that were against the rules earlier. I remember I was like
1849
“everyone to the garden with two bucks!” Because there was a

hose or a pond and I had something I liked to do that would
fill up the buckets super fast. I remember on the way down the
stairs Shayne sprung up and I shushed him ‘cause I was in the
zone and then I said oh wait was that shayne speaking and then
laughed and said ‘sorry man’. He was like ‘it’s okay’ he just some-
thing something will have to mention the raccoon. And I was
like ‘I don’t know what you’re talking about’.
Smirk smirk.
Giggle.
It’s not like a raccoon just took out my Greek fortress.
And the people laughed.
Earlier on I was attempting to describe the definition of horror

and suspense (as genres) and explaining why I didn’t fall within
such and such category, although I think I may have that catego-
ry wrong.
PRAYER POSE
We were staying at a house with another group of people and
everyone was trying to sleep. It was crazy because more and more
people kept trying to come in. There were lots of bald people and
a family of little people/dwarfs and there were kids in the next
room and for some reason everyone just sat back and went to
sleep. So as everyone else sat around the perimeter of the room,
heads buried down in their chests for sleep, I took this weird
prayer pose and looked up at the ceiling instead of down, look-
ing at the bright ceiling lights, And just stared for a while. Then I
went to my laptop, turned on an album by Manes in my earbuds
and just started working on my projects. I knew that people were
probably looking at me, but I didn’t care. There were like twenty
others in this room.
We were in this house in Santa Monica. Had been looking for a

place. And I remember the guy who we were with. I don’t think
that it was my father. He didn’t want to stop in and check out
this place because he saw some eye peeking through the keyhole.
He was getting all offended, and I had to talk some reason in-
to him. I’m like “Listen, I’d the guy did it once it’s no big deal.
If he does it again we can consider it intentional and then what
we’ll do is we’ll all stare back at him.” So then we went walking to
these long and narrow set of stairs to this apartment... it was like
a typical set of apartment stairs you see in cities... just like metal
ones attached to the side of buildings. I don’t know the name for
this type of stairs, but you see them a lot in tenements. So then
we went into the house and got acquainted with the owners who
were selling the place. But people just kept coming in over the
next little while and it didn’t make sense.
1851
Much earlier on I was with a group of guys in some fallout shelter

or something. Memory is very fuzzy. But I was with them in
this dark weird place like at the bottom of the hill. One of them
did some weird ASMR thing to my ear and scalp and it felt so
good that it transported me out of the location and I had to go
through all the trouble of reentering. Had an apocalyptic feel.
Oooh, at the very end of this dream a cat came wandering

through our yard and I went to the glass window to summon it
and I was like “Awwww.” It was very young. So I cracked the door
somewhat, though not too much, since I didn’t want it to get in
or Gizmo to get out, but at one point Gizmo began sniffing it out
and came over and he saw the kitten and they just sort of sniffed
each other silently through the little crack that I had left in the
door and it was very cute. I really wanted to let it in the house
but I didn’t know that it was such a good idea.
ARTIST
Long dream standing in this room speaking with this guy about
buying art and we were haggling and talking about trades for
some of the recent paintings we acquired or created. I was pre-
pared to pay $1,500 for one of his pieces but didn’t know if it
was a sound decision on my part at the time since I wasn’t well
off financially. It was a cool painting with a gold and a silver head
near the bottom, it was very interesting
I found out that Patrick faked his own death and I was weeping,
and it was so strange. I was speaking with someone early on, be-
cause someone with his surname was trying to move into or our
houses so I was trying to figure out who, and they said that it
couldn’t be his sister since she moved quite a ways away. This
came after the grocery store part. I spent a while in the store
shopping. I forget what I did though I remember finding an al-
bum of Jeff Goldblum doing covers of 80’s pop songs, and I recall
previewing his version of “Land of Confusion”. And I was like
“Whoaaaa.” The whole album. It was jazzy and pretty bad but I
loved that it existed. I found it while shopping with my mom. It
was on some cardboard display in the dairy aisle.
Then I came back home and slept on the floor. My dad was sleep-
ing nearby. I had trouble falling to sleep because I knew people
were coming to look at the house soon and my phone charging
cable was acting up and I wanted it to charge while I rested but
I had to hold it in a very specific way for it to charge as oth-
erwise it kept losing it. Then I got back home and the Patrick
thing happened and I spent a while with him. It was so weird be-
cause he wouldn’t admit that he didn’t exist. It’s as if he wasn’t
in front of me. But I couldn’t stop crying. I remember saying “I
1853
wouldn’t consider this one of my main traumas just because it

doesn’t come up often but when it does I can’t stop crying.”
Then that guy came over with his art. Both of us had recently
bought a ton of it. I had like five paintings and so did he. We
hung them on the wall and stared at them and made offers and
trade ideas. But I wanted that one of his with the silver and gold
masks in front of this crazy background and wasn’t prepared to
give $1,500 so I tried to think of other trades like one of my
paintings plus $250 but I was only selling mine for $500. I re-
member saying “I’ve been worried about the future of art late-
ly, but upon standing in front of this I know that there is noth-
ing to be worried about.” and I was just very into it. Then he
had to leave. He was changing his shirt. I asked him about what
he wanted to paint next. And he wrote down a list. Most of the
items on the list were people who I assumed were his friends, But
on the top was a story about murder or something crazy like that.
And so when I questioned it he launches into this story about
how he was with someone when someone got murdered and I’m
sitting here making these gestures to let him know my father is
sleeping nearby on the couch and can probably hear him, but he
didn’t pick up on it immediately and when he did he made this
“ooooh shit” face.
IMPLIED LEGS
At the end I was recreating that thing with legs and I could either
choose real legs or implied legs.
My father and I were fixing something in the Londonberry base-

ment. The bathroom door, perhaps.
Later on my father and I were at an amusement park when it

began to rain, so we had to find a way to get out. Meanwhile,
everyone else is walking along this long road to get back to their
homes since it is so stormy.
1855
MANET HOUSE
At the beginning of the dream I guess I was there with my girl-
friend. I think at the beginning of the dream I was in what was
called Manet House. Okay there was definitely a girl at some
point. We were together. She wasn’t like the type of girls that are
usually in my dream. She seemed like she did modeling. I remem-
ber playing a Pokémon game in Manet House. I remember the
level and everything. I had just gotten to a new area where I got
a new power up/HM type thing. And even though it was sup-
posed to be me playing Pokémon I felt like I was really in there
in my dream. The Manet House felt sort of like the living room
upstairs at Londonberry but not quite. And it was mostly empty.
I left at some point in the day since I needed to go to class. So

I went walking. And there was some oceanic area. Like docks.
Where I may have walked on my way to class. I also had an issue
with my health. I think when on my way to class. But I forget.
The most notable scene of the dream was me being in class. Dan’s
little brothers were in school today, and I kept getting in trouble
for laughing, since they would tickle me or say stuff during class.
Then the teacher flipped out on me really badly in the middle of
class, saying some very cruel things. So I just got up and left. I
tried to be cool about my exit but I kind of slid or drifted a bit
as I went through the door and it wasn’t as cool as it could have
been.
Okay so when I get to class I take a seat in the back left. Dan
(the bartender) shows up and we’re actually being cordial with
one another. He sits by me. His brothers show up, Like three
of them. And they still look like they did when they were kids
‘cause I haven’t seen them since. So they’re being all silly and
1856
childish during class and trying to show me things which is why

I kept being distracted, and the teacher definitely noticed and
made a reference to me once or twice which I felt to be mean and
made me uncomfortable. But then one of Dan’s brothers tickled
me and I laughed. And the teacher screamed the most horrible
things about me. Personal attacks. Like the guy was just on the
verge of a mental breakdown and took it out on me. I handled
the barrage of insults with a stone face. But as soon as he was
done speaking I took my blue journal, stood up and walked out
solemnly. No one came after me. But I felt extremely humiliated
and betrayed and disrespected.
That girl... she may have even been in the class when I was walked
out
He also confiscated my Pokémon game which I had been playing

before class on a handheld system, and that sucks because I had
reached a new level, a new room, in the game where I was getting
new power-ups. I had been playing with Asia before class.
I went downstairs into the school and then started to look for
the bathroom. Long hallway. I think the doors were locked and
reserved only for faculty and I didn’t want to go just because
there was a weird guy walking around.
Then on my way back out of this hallway there was a woman sit-
ting with two huge black dogs, and they both came at me, and
I had to sit there and fight them off. And I’m like “I don’t want
to have to get violent with the dogs but if you don’t do some-
thing about this you’re not really giving me a choice.” So she’s
calling them but they’re not listening. Eventually I found a way
to soothe them. I started petting them both around the neck
of their fur. But they would start up again almost as soon as I
stopped. I finally made it away down the sidewalk. I almost for-
got my journal I was carrying. A blue scholastic journal. But I got

it. And I fled down these New Orleans looking streets, which al-
so felt like a market place in India. There was definitely a lot of
Indian stuff. And I was getting lost but hoping to make it back
to Manet House, one of my two houses, before nightfall, though
it was already after 7 PM, so it wasn’t looking likely. I walked
through those Indian-like streets for a while. I would pass those
military women giving presentations. And little market places
selling food.
Wandering through the market trying to get back home. Being

stopped in that room with all those people and then suddenly
wondering if we were even staring at the right door. I remember
dancing before the door, and I pointed to that cup, and that boy
said it’s his number, 69, and I was like “fucking crap, I can’t see
the number from my angle.” And then the woman next to me
laughs, and she says that makes it even funnier.
Eventually I made it to my normal home with my parents, not

Manet House, which was where I lived alone or with my girl-
friend. I walked in to find my father in bed with his face partly
burned off. I was like what the fuck happened. He said his phone
exploded in his face. It freaked me out but he said it was an an-
droid and they’re known to do that. And I was slightly relieved
to hear it wasn’t an iPhone (like I own) ‘cause I knew my health
couldn't take something like this at this time.
I told him I wanted to be driven to Manet House. He said okay.

He got out of bed. But then I came back a few minutes later and
my mother was tantruming about some argument between her
and I a few days ago. Happened when she was drunk. And I re-
member bringing up the fact that she was so drunk she was using
the toilet in front of us and all these other gross things and she
was getting super irate.
“Manet House?” I asked my mother if she heard of it. She said a

bunch of mean things. And I responded “Not Manet the fucking
painter.”
My father somehow had his face healed when I came back in. I
was waiting for him to be alone so I could ask him about libel
laws, ‘cause I wanted to get back at the teacher, suing him, who
freaked out at me unnecessarily in class and shamed me.
Then I thought back to how I sort of respected that teacher, or at

least I wanted to, and I had even gone to a local sports game, like
a kids baseball game taking place in a local field where he helped
coach. This was all a reflection on a past event as I was thinking
about how much it sucked to be humiliated by him.
At the end of the dream, while waiting for my father to come

down, I started pissing into these ceramic cups in my room. I
was very jerky, too. I didn’t even care if I missed. And I filled like
eight cups. And then I thought maybe I should have just gone
upstairs to the toilet if I had that much urine in me.
Dammit, I’ve spent the last ten minutes thinking that I was docu-
menting a dream, but all that typing was apparently a hallucina-
tion.
AURORA
I was at Nanny and Poppop’s old New Jersey house, and I don’t
recall what the fight was about, but my father and I were really
going at it. After an argument I went outside. Looking up at
the sky, there was this green light in the heavens and it was like
the craziest sci-fi scene. And I called Jeiezza to come outside. I
peeked in the house saying “Jeiezza! You gotta come out and see
this...! Oh, and can you grab my cigarettes off the piano?” She
comes out with my cigarettes and I jokingly say “I’ve been work-
ing so hard I think I forgot that I smoked. I haven’t had one all
day.” But then I go “Where’s the lighter...?” And she runs back in
and grabs a lighter. Then we walk to the edge of the driveway and
look up at this crazy green space station-y thing in the sky, like
an aurora effect. And I started humming these lyrics, because for
some reason certain lyrics were coming to my mind whenever I
would see it. And the first two lines were all spacey, but then the
third was romantic like “When I’m with youuuu...”
1860
SWERVE
At one point I was sitting on the deck with my mother and a dog
got loose from our house and ran out into the street and Asia
went after it. It ran out in front of a car. The car swerved and I
watched with bated breath, fearing for both the dog and the dri-
ver, but the car corrected and the dog eventually got wrangled. I
was sitting in a dimly lit living room for a lot of the dream with
my mother. It wasn’t any house I’ve ever lived in in reality. I kept
telling my mother to look up the definition of ‘narcissistic so-
ciopath’ online to see about Asia’s husband and so that she could
see a breakdown of how he ruined her, but Asia kept showing up
and I didn’t want to be talking about it while she was around.
She was really in a bad mood and just drunk and awful to be
around.
1861
A PLACE TO STAY
Earlier in the dream I was staying with my grandparents in a sort
of trailer but got kicked out for some reason.
My father got drunk at a theater and there was this huge blow
out because I was caught kneeling or something because I was
tired. He was being awful. Something involving Asia being awful
early on too. I yelled at him and made a comment and then went
to enter the theater at the front and left exit, where there was a
hall or a staircase, but all of the people in the play who had just
stepped off the stage were standing there and indignant when I
tried to leave. The woman was like “No one leaves through here
unless I say so.” So my cool exit was foiled. I wanted to stand up
after yelling at my father and stomping out, but now I turned
around and walked up through the theater toward the normal
exit.
On my way out I went to grab my guitar. I left three instruments

or so by the entrance of the theater for some reason. Three peo-
ple were standing there. A mother, a father and a daughter. By
where I kept my instruments. I don’t think they knew I was com-
ing for my guitars since I looked menacing. I looked like I was
coming at them. But as I started trying to untangle my guitar the
man saw what I was doing and helped me untangle the instru-
ment from wires and stuff and was helpful and we talked and
joked for a few minutes.
I followed that woman to an upper room in a building. I think

she said I reminded her of a specific celebrity figure. I remember
as she left I was looking out the window calling to her. Or trying
to get to her in time before she left. She was in a situation where
she sympathized with me, as she knew what it was like to be re-
1862
jected and dealing with drunk abusive people (her husband). So

I wanted to go with her, but I didn’t propose it in time. I just re-
member having my head out of a second story factory window
in the night air while watching her walk away into the night and
hoping she would come back. It felt like a noir film.
So, I forget all the details, but the woman had found me after the
performance. We were either on the top floor of the theater or
in another building entirely. I was telling her my plight and I was
about to ask her if I could stay the night with her, but then her
husband and child came back to pick her up and she had to meet
them in the parking lot. There was more to our meeting on the
top floor of that building but I got to it too late and failed to re-
call it. It just seems like we fell for each other fairly quickly.
I made it out into the parking lot. Huge parking lot. Midnight.
I’m running fast to catch her. A massive semi truck comes peel-
ing out. I am surprised, assuming it was them; but then a sepa-
rate, albeit similar truck comes out from the opposite (left) side
of the parking lot. Novelty like, like the weiner mobile. I guess
that’s where they were. It wasn’t a wiener. It was some rental ser-
vice but had a weird truck shape. I followed them even after
they drove down the street. Was I running, or riding a bicycle? I
was going super fast trying to keep up. Her husband was a very
rude and abusive person and I witnessed their conversations tak-
ing place within the vehicle somehow, even though I was not in
the vehicle with them. I could see how rude he was being and
how miserable she was but trying to hide her misery and to hide
where she had just been (with me).
They didn’t see me at any point but they almost collided with an-
other truck. Because the man was asking his wife “who was that
clown?” Because I was talking to that woman all. And I needed
a place to stay. She didn’t realize it at the time. But her husband
came back and she had to go and it was kind of sad.
Then I caught back up with them later. Followed them to the

place where they stopped. I was in a disguise for some reason.
Had one in my backpack. And I asked her “about me” while I
was in disguise. Like I was talking. And then I mentioned “that
guy who made a fuss at the theater.” And she was like “Oh, Ten-
don! No, he’s sweet.” And then I explained the situation I was
in, albeit in the third person. How he just needed a place to stay
since his father had kicked him out for kneeling and he had no
way. Of getting home. And was seeking a place to stay. And the
woman was obviously bothered. I could tell she felt bad for leav-
ing me. And that she wished to offer me a place to stay. Though
her situation was obviously complicated. But I could see from
the way she spoke of me, of Tendon, that she had obviously fall-
en for me.
Later on, when I met back up with that woman in a different lo-
cation, I was in disguise and she didn’t know it was me. And I
was saying how I was gonna go call “tendon” she didn’t recog-
nize my voice. That was the part where I went and picked up the
wrong girl's bags. I went running down stairs and grabbed my
two bags (gray messenger bag and camera bag) off the top steps
but as I got to the bottom steps I saw my actual bags and realized
the stuff I took previously was slightly off in color so I went back
to top step and handed them back to girl who was now walking
over. I explained it. She laughed it off. I ran down back where
I was heading. She was still talking and looking at me. Blonde
woman in her early to mid twenties. Quite attractive and well
mannered. I felt like maybe I should have not left so quickly and
kept talking to her if to not make the situation seem so weird but
I had places to be (went to the kitchen now).
I got to the food counter first, where it was just an old Asian
couple preparing food in a dimly lit kitchen trailer thing, and
she commented about how I was first, before all the little kids
came barreling in. And I joked and said maybe I’m one of them
or something like that. They were preparing these little bites. I’m
like “Mmmm, what are these, berry pastries?” They said “Pome-
granate!” but with a super thick accent, so I asked “Oooh, pome-
granate?” for clarification and she nodded, so I took one and put
it in my mouth as I looked to my left and saw like a dozen or two
dozen small kids tearing down the stairs and into the room... like
a stampede of infant children all running for the food counter.
It had the shape and texture of a miniature raw chicken... with

that weird, puckered texture and light, white, pink color. So
as the children swarmed I started asking “Wait, is this actually
chicken?” Then I asked again to clarify, since she was foreign, still
with my mouth full. She said yes. I was apologetic even as I was
walking to the trash bin heaving. But others were also follow-
ing behind me and a line was forming by the trash. That’s when
I saw guys rifling through my stuff. Since I had left my bags on
the table behind me. These teenage boys. I was like whoa whoa
whoa. I stopped the first kid, but he ran off. And then saw that
there was another kid next to him still actively rifling him. So the
first kid ran off and I apprehended this guy. I grabbed him and
my bag, forcing him to give up what he took. He starts hand-
ing me Gizmo’s toys which had been stuffed in my bag proba-
bly by my father. And I’m like “you like dog toys bro?” In this
very annoyed confused tone. He’s just quiet and flustered at be-
ing caught. I’m like “this is my stuff. If you're in need of some-
thing then we can sit down and I can either sell it or give it to
you, but you gotta communicate.”
And I ask if the guy who just ran off had more of my stuff. And
he said yeah he grabbed a bit. So I’m like “yeah well I’m gonna
get him and I’m going to tell your teachers” ‘cause they were on
a field trip. But he still thought my reaction wasn’t too bad and
seemed relieved I was so level-headed and forgiving. I told the
guy “I’m a psychologist. I’m not happy with what you did, but I
understand why you did it.”
The police were also apprehending another guy as this was hap-
pening. Unrelated. I think he had harassed some women. And
they had him up against the bar, his head down and his arms
spread out.
BLACK DOG
Early on in the dream I was navigating through some strange,
maze-like hallways which were high up in the air, climbing onto
ledges in the hopes that Mendez wouldn’t find me, and I would
tell myself, “It’s okay, ‘cause he’s got small limbs,” and I called
him something like “Little Limb Mendez” (which doesn’t make
sense).
Eventually I went on to live at some rich estate, where I would

spend all my time creating new life. I would create these little
creatures and they would live within cages and I would look after
them. Then at night time before bed I would go and write emails
as I had a bit of anger toward some guy with whom I was corre-
sponding via email. I trusted him, and he betrayed my trust and
would take months to respond to sensitive or urgent letters and
so I was angry at him.
In the morning I would wake to feed my creatures and each time

I did I would find this big, black dog had gotten into the cage
and eaten them. The dog was one of two which belonged to these
people who owned this super rich house that I was staying at.
I was so crushed when they ate the last one. The little creature
looked like Konky but it was very small and alive and it was in
its cage. I went in to check on it and give it food in the morning
but I found the dog in its stead. I was very upset at this point.
I planned to go get a gun, then shoot it, then write up an ex-
planation on this large concrete cone shaped thing which was
about three feet high about what it did and why I was upset, and
then I would shoot myself. So I wandered through the streets
and through the arena. Passing by people in a suicidal daze while
looking for a gun. I was strolling through Wards Ferry, where you
1867
usually find Target and all of those fast food chains. I think I was
being followed, so as I passed by a restaurant and saw people sit-
ting around, I slipped into the restaurant, which was in the area
near GameStop, and I sat down at the first table to my left after
entry. There were two young boys... say, early teens, 14-16 ish. I
figured they would send me away, and the first few minutes were
awkward as I tried to go along with it as if this was not weird at
all and acting as if I knew them, but they seemed to get a kick out
of me.
I just sat and talked for a few minutes before thinking I’m in-
truding but when I got up to leave they called to me so I stayed
and we played this little question game that had weird questions
from game shows, Like “Some people get nightmares about this
and this, what’s your nightmare?”
I read off the questions at first but eventually the other guy took
over reading just ‘cause I kept reading the other peoples answers
so it was taking longer. But it was funny. This was really weird for
me to just have found people to sit with, but funny. I only did it
to throw off whoever was following me.
APACHE
I was using my mother’s computer for a little bit in the London-
berry basement while my sister was watching television on the
couch. We were with others. As she was handing the pc off to
me she mentions Apache and how she likes that name. And I’m
like “Ehhhh, what is that, Native American?” And she says how
Apache is the person in the end-times of Christianity who will
see to the destruction of some bla bla bla. This triggered a trip-
wire in me and I just went off on his extremely emotional spiel,
“You were told these things as a child and you have believed
them for fifty years too long.” All these poignant lines that I wish
I could remember.
“Willing to believe someone who can’t be seen. Who can’t be

heard. Whose promises aren’t reflected in reality. Whose contra-
dictions aren’t backed by sensibility.” It was this extremely cut-
ting rant that went on for about two minutes. And by the end my
mom was extremely agitated. She called my father into the hall
and said she will not be speaking to me anymore that night. Asia
was on the phone across the room laughing and I don’t know if
it was at her conversation or what just happened here, but when
I got near her I couldn’t hear words coming out of her mouth or
the phone; even though her mouth was moving.
Meanwhile I could overhear my mother and father talking in the

stairwell. I had made some very anti-Christian statements which
really rocked their ‘faith’, having framed it in a very poignant
way that they weren’t used to hearing, as it was emotional and
empathetic, since I really focused on the process by which one
opens themselves up to believe in such things which lack all evi-
dence, and spoke of her child self and the voids in her life. So it
1869
wasn’t just calling her beliefs wrong but painting a vivid picture
of how these ideologies latch onto children and then never get
questioned thereafter.
Earlier in the dream... hmm. There was so much that happened

that it’s kind of a blur. Desserts at one point, again? Something
in the kitchen? Yeah, I was eating something while my dad and
Asia were around, but we were in Charldon at that point. I was
doing something by the microwave while Asia and dad were in
the Charldon living room. Oh, fucking pancakes. There were a
bunch of pancakes in the fridge, all individually sealed in baggies
and they were a few days old, but I figured they would have kept.
So I took one out and heated it up and then put it on a plate cov-
ered not in syrup but I think cake frosting... chocolate... or some-
thing like that, and it was delicious, and I was trying to get the
others to try it.
Very early on I was at some carnival and Tyler was there. And by
some means I ended up flying up into the night sky toward these
giant things and answering questions for a game show host in the
sky. Which may have been Tyler. He was in this big contraption,
like a billboard. The final question was stupid, “Which celebrity
would you like to see playing baseball!” I couldn’t think of any
names so I just said Tendon Levey. They accepted it but I feared
it would impact my score negatively and wished that I had said
Leonardo Da Vinci simply because that was the only celebrity I
could think of.
ALTAR ROOM
There was this room that I accessed. It was like a special bath-
room and I showed my mother where it was as it was slightly
more convenient than the one she was used to. It was down the
hall and the first one on the right. It was this king little room and
path to get their all ornate and decorated. It was supposed to be
a bathroom. But in the dream it was an altar. And when she ar-
rived at the altar my mother was granted some sort of choice.I
was like dammit. It benefited her musically. When it should have
been me to benefit. Like it had an offering to bestow upon some-
one and it chose when
Afterwards she went back to dinner like nothing had happened.

Nanny and Poppop and everyone was over. I sat there on the
sidelines. And in the final scene I remember someone tapping
me on the shoulder to look at the girls who I liked. There were
two and I was choosing between them. One of them I didn’t re-
ally like but my parents wanted me to go with The other one I
liked. But something had happened. Her lips were all bloody, a
deep purple, bruised. Tattoos. It was confusing and I didn’t know
what had happened. This is what the guy was drawing my atten-
tion to. then I woke up
What was that blow out with dad and Poppop in the living room
regarding Christianity? They were sitting by the Pine Hill televi-
sion and I was by the couch and I said some things that got dis-
missed or ignored but I was really upset about what was being
said regarding Christianity and...?
1871
FUGITIVE
I was getting ready for church and I remember being home alone
when my parents were away on a trip. And I was watching the
birds. I remember getting ready and spraying my hair and what-
not and I was worried the bird might have been hit with a little
overspray. I noticed it shook in a way that caused its head to just
fall off and then the head just laid on the ground t for about ten
seconds until the head disappeared and the body fell over dead. I
was like dammmmit.
Next thing I remember is being in a class at church. Yelling. After

a spat with Dan because he was supposed to help me but he
wouldn’t. So I felt betrayed and we got into a public spat as I left.
I forget what I was actually guilty of though since I don’t recall
committing any crimes in my dream. I just remember that this all
began when I was at church and the cops had to be called. But
first all of the pastors came in and tried to deal. So I kept trying
to escape church. When the cops first came. And I managed to
do it. I went up to the road after leaving the parking lot and I ran
to the right until I came to a little safe house where I stopped in
for a while. I forget what happened. My parents found me! Or I
don’t know.
I was running from the authorities for most of the dream. I re-
member at one point worrying and wishing I was a normal type
of person who could just put up with these extreme circum-
stances of being awake for days and while running from the law.
But I knew I wouldn’t be able to last long due to how sick I was
and needed sleep.
I would often get caught but I would find a way to lie and get
out of trouble at least long enough to slip into another portray.
1872
I was able to evade capture at my home because I was able to

pass off some witness reporter outburst as occurring in reaction
to some other event which Ichocked up to an argument about
grace. But the people were on to me and they would soon find
out that I was lying and then Catch up with where I was at. I was
trying to escape into other worlds through these portals which
took me to other locations where I was safe. I remember going
over to this fireplace and pulling out all these books in this guy's
house while he guarded the door. Then I left through the win-
dow after breaking it. Angry at the guy who gave me away. He
gave me away accidentally in his enthusiasm when people came
knocking at the door and I couldn’t fit through the portal in
time. It was extremely small and located in the wall and wasn’t
sucking. So I broke the window and I grabbed my hat. And then
I raced off down the dirt road, passing a small group of people.
But this is when my perspective shifted and I became one of my
accomplices. So I joined the people sort of, as this other guy.
And I was walking beside a girl who was commenting about me,
Tendon, when I/he passed by, and she was commenting about
what he should have done, and I found out that she was... some-
one involved in the trial? Like a juror or something? So I was
like “Oooh, you’re one of this group who will judge him.” And
she’s like “Yeah.” We talked and talked and I slowly became fond
of her. Then we all passed the cow area. And everyone went up
where there were those healthy normal cows in a pen. But down
a slope. There was a cow that looked older. And this girl took off
her glasses and went down there and sang that cow a poppy R&B
motown type song while hugging and petting the cow, and I kin-
da fell in love with her at this point. I was going to go down and
pet the cow once she was done and I was thinking of what song I
would sing, if simply to be funny, but I woke up first.
FIGHT
I got into a big fight with my parents. It started when I was in the
bathroom and I overheard my father and Asia in the kitchen (the
next room over) and my father was saying some things which un-
dermined my experience. He was using words that just made it
sound like “well, he thinks this is the case” and not actually say-
ing I had problems but making it sound made up. And so when I
came out of the bathroom and saw him sitting in living with my
mother. I’m like oh, to start with, you don’t get to decide what
I’m feeling and what I’m not. And he did NOT like that. And
basically tried to kill me for “disrespecting him.” I tried to con-
front my father about what was going on. Saying similar words.
And there was a meanness and dismissiveness to him. Because he
was fundamentally unwilling to accept my interpretation of re-
ality, especially my illness, and was constantly undermining and
denying and demeaning the nature of the struggle which I was to
endure. And every time I confronted him it would result in such
bid didn’t between him, my mom and I. And he started becom-
ing violent with me. I forget exactly what happened but I think
he was choking me at one point in the dream to prove I could
still breathe, as if that proved anything. And then I went outside
and released a balloon into the sky or something while standing
on the deck.
Going on this long spiel with this slow kid and a crazy girl about
the importance of truth and honesty to the structure of our reali-
ty. And I went into this long talk”what are the building blocks of
all health? Truth and honesty. If we can not rely on the informa-
tion we are given as being true, we can not connect with the re-
ality before us. Look to the people in abusive relationships. They
are lied to, and it results in dissociation, and dissociation is the
1874
antithesis of living. It is a sort of detached state.” So I went into

this talk which lasted several minutes but meanwhile I’m sitting
in what looks like a little class room with a guy who isn’t even fac-
ing me, he’s playing with these blocks or something, although I
expect he was listening, and then there was a girl who was press-
ing her right breast into my face while I’m saying this and I just
kept talking anyway without saying anything or acknowledging
but her right breast was basically obscuring my vision the entire
time I was delivering this speech.
Then I woke up.

ROSENTHAL
I was talking to this hyper guy who was trying to take a picture
of the window. There was an apple on the window. It was his dai-
ly prompt. And his friend Amy was taking a swig from a glass of
water as he was taking the photo. And so he goes “Aaaayyyy!”be-
cause she moved between photos, so he had to take it again,
and she did it yet again. That’s when I woke up. Anyway this
is just some guy I started talking to. His name was something
like Rosenthal. Which is funny because he laughed when I in-
troduced myself as Tendon. We were in this arcade and the place
was bustling with people from bands because we were on the
outskirts of a music festival. I had played some weird game in-
volving a helmet and a motorcycle... a fake motorcycle I foolishly
tried. But then I just wandered around listening to people talk.
This guy and I struck up a conversation right at the end. He start-

ed talking about the book he is writing. He says the title and I
go “oooh philosophy?” But then he made another comment, So
I go “ooooooh spirituality” I don’t know if he was religious, or
seemed that way. And I remember he made a comment about
not knowing the direction he wanted to take it. And I was like
“sometimes it’s better to just share your experience than to try
and teach” Or something like that.
Then he spoke about how lately he had been going around

recording thunder sounds and sending them to people. He had
these daily photograph prompts and he was working on assem-
bling them into a collage. All in all, an interesting guy.
The guys from a post-hardcore group were at this arcade and I

had been listening into their conversations while loitering.
1876
There was some scene before this part where I was in the kitchen
of my current house.
Oh that’s right we are all looking at this huge DVD cabinet in

the living room containing both my DVDS and my parents. AB
or some girl who looked like her was over. And she was look-
ing at them. Kinda just pretending to be interested. Back in the
kitchen I did something, some movement; which startled her,
while my father was talking and she was listening to him, and it
was bad for her heart condition or something and her eyes ex-
pressed pain and sadness and I felt bad and also embarrassed at
what was happening because I didn’t mean to hurt her and so I
started hugging her asking what was wrong. Then she tried me.
Then in the next scene I am in what looks like some campus gar-
den. And I am researching that heart condition on the internet.
This is the part that led into the arcade.
There was that part right before that where I ate something weird
out of the fridge and even before that I was down in the base-
ment with Jeiezza and I saw this little apple pie cream thing in a
sleeve sitting on my desk which had been there for hours and I
figured it might be spoiled but I was hungry so I took a chance
anyway. And the two of us were just iffy about it.
Then before all of this there was a scene where I was walking
“my” dog out in public and it kept getting away from me and
running down the street after people and squirrels and I was get-
ting so upset and yelling out to it, and I think I decided some
means to keep it from running.
Around the kitchen part my father had taken me out into the
backyard and was showing me something in the little garden on
the side of the house. Which also invoked Poppop. Oh yes I ate
something from Poppop. He had left something of his with us
and I think I ate all the seeds that were to be planted in the veg-
etable garden, And so he called wondering what had happened
to them. And I tried to play dumb.
There was also the part right before the DVD part where AB or
someone tried to show me some type of industrial music and I
wasn’t really into it but I acted like I was
SHARK FIN
“It often requires more than just being a good artist. You have to
be beautiful and a good artist. Or wealthy in addition to being a
good artist. Or have a shark fin instead of an arm in addition to
being a good artist.” She laughed when I said that. Then she goes
“oh we can do this for the people upstairs.” She gave a name but
she didn’t remember it. I said “do they have shark fins?” That’s
where the dream ended.
She helped run this apartment complex, or she was the daughter
of the people who did. Very young, around 11. Not sure why she
was in here with the two of us guys. Yeah I was with another
guy. Who was it, W? My friend was in the kitchen when I saw
this. It looked sort of like Nanny and Poppop’s old apartment in
Roanoke. I think we were literally doing some charity, bmmmm.
I’m not sure why I was telling her this. Just making the impor-
tant point that it often isn’t enough to just do something well...
which seems cynical.
I remember a few minutes earlier we were speaking about some-

thing, and some Asian boy band came up within the context of
guests who had appeared on a certain show within a specific con-
text, and someone was like “when was this?!”
Earlier in the dream I remember speaking to my mom.
1879
GURGLING WALL
I tore down the wall and did all these things loudly, thinking that
part of the neighbors property was actually ours. But this wall
of mine has been theirs for years, and my sister had to tell me.
At one point I also threw my phone out of frustration and it got
lodged in the wall and almost got taken away by the rat creature
that lives within the wall. I could hear the gurgle that signified its
coming.
Then there was the part with me and Isaac driving in that bus
thing, or RV. Not driving but riding. And we were talking and
eating. I remember telling Isaac that he is in like 20% of my
dreams even if just the quickest glance or mention. But he turned
into Kenny, and then Kenny and I were talking about when a cer-
tain holiday or date of recognition I had made up should take
place on my half birthday (October 21) or December 5... but I
wasn’t confident I’d still be alive at that point. There was a vacu-
um that sucked away small crimes and this made it possible for
me and Kenny to communicate after all these years.
1880
TRAILER
What was all that stuff that happened under the deck at Lon-
donberry? Some weird game was going on outside; some sort of
hide and seek but it was dangerous. High stakes. This was the be-
ginning of the dream and I think it led to this part where all of
us kids are sitting around in this little dim lit room like a youth
group.
What was happening on that couch earlier with those girls. We

were talking about music. I had a remote and I was switching
rapidly between two presets on the stereo to create some cool
remix sounding thing like samples. But I thought it was CD’s
and not radio. So I got annoyed when they started singing. Then
another girl sat at the far end of the couch and asked me if I
would turn on such and such pop song and she handed me her
phone to show me what she meant. And I was dreading it but I
turned it on anyway and I’m like “Oooh I’ve heard this on the
radio before.”
I remember some girl was asking for everyone’s email. And I was
trying to figure out which one of my emails to give them.
My dad and a few other men were down the whole working on
something. It was their trailer. And we were afraid to disturb
them. Once in a while my dad would walk back in our room, get
something, then go back.
Earlier I was sitting on that all-girl couch and I got up and made
a comment like whoaaa it’s just me and four girls. Then I wan-
dered down the hall, got a box of spicy Cheez-Its, took an emp-
ty chip snack bag lying nearby on the dresser, emptied all of the
dust from the Cheez-It box onto the bag, came back over to the
1881
couch and started eating. And the guy I sat near was like “You’re
crazy,” because he had just stopped eating the crackers because
they were too spicy for him, and I am sitting here eating the con-
centrated spices.
Then I was speaking to that Piestrak-like guy for a while. I re-

member speaking to him about Islamophobia and saying I’ve no-
ticed a recent trend where everyone is finally allowing one an-
other to recognize the harm done by Islam and not silencing one
another due to fears of being racist. So we discussed that for a
minute or two, and just how current events had made people less
willing to tiptoe around its horrid dangers.
At one point an old old lady came walking slowly down the dark
hallway toward us and we were all like who's that. And she slow-
ly came and sat down on the couch where I was sitting with this
guy who looked like Piestrak. Glad I moved out of the way in
time by jumping off the couch, because she sat down right on
top of him. We didn’t think she could see us, because of how she
was moving, but then we learned afterward she could see and she
sat on him on purpose. And then she started speaking all friend-
ly and flirty with him and he didn’t know what to make of it so
kind of just remained in place. Very weird.
We were all just in this room for a while being antsy. I was the
antsy one. Kept moving from thing to thing.
At one point I was over at some shelf or piano and barely

touched it and a photo frame fell forward and there was no glass
in the frame so whatever card or something was inside it got
crumpled. Then I tried to set it up real quick since I one of the
guys walking in the hall but I couldn’t do it and just walked away
and sat down quickly I don’t think he ever came
Then I was looking around the room and I saw a sword and
everyone was treating me like a kid with it. That guy was telling
me to be careful of hitting the ceiling with it because they’ll be
able to tell by the marks if someone handled the sword. And I’m
standing there annoyed trying to tell him I know how swords
work and I own one myself. And he was embarrassing me in
front of the others simply because of the distrust he showed. I
got up and was like “Man, I want a sword.” Everyone was like
oh god. They didn’t have the kind K wanted but then I was like
“Oh what about this Aladdin sword” it was a weird, broad, mid-
dle eastern, lacking a proper handle or the handle was made out
of similar material as the blade.
Then I saw girls were coming onto the bus and so I hurriedly sat
down on a couch since I knew they would likely sit down. I in-
stinctively sat down in the middle but then realized they will on-
ly sit if they can be together so I moved to the left-hand side.
When I saw those girls coming on the bus I put down my sword
and ran over to the couch. Trying to be inconspicuous but I to-
tally wanted them to sit next to me. Unfortunately there was a
brown loveseat across from me that was empty too, and I was sit-
ting on an empty three-person couch so it was just as likely if not
likelier they would pick that one. However I woke up before they
came in and sat down.
In the final moments of the dream, a different girl walked by and

plucked something. Conserving excavator? Excerning conserva-
tor? What did that girl call me when she plucked the thing from
the bridge of my nose and put it in a bag, the. continued walking.
I said “What was that?” and she called me a something conserva-
tor.
MORE COOKIES
At the beginning of the dream I remember being in the kitchen
cabinet at Pine Hill and there are chocolate large cookies on the
top shelf laying loose in no container and Asia is sitting at the
table working on some writing project. Listening to headphones.
And at first I’m like is she listening to my music. But then I re-
alized it’s k pop. And so I’m showing her the cookies. Like what
the hell. And she goes where did they come from. And I said
it looks like someone used them for something then removed
them. Like a cake display. So I created a sandwich out of them by
putting something in between two cookies and it was so good
Okay I remember something about semen. Like there was this

Jewish thing. It was a word in another language. It was a Jewish
holiday. And it meant ‘happy semen day’ Or something like that
and it was a celebration of semen, and I was looking it up all con-
fused. I guess I was browsing some holiday registry.
There was that lady on stage. on stage when it was the four or
so of us up on stage in front of an audience. She showed to as a
surprise the host. But then on her way down she came over and
did eenie meenie miney mo to me and the person next to me
and I’m so confused because she wasn’t doing it right. She would
just keep her finger on me several times in a row as if she clear-
ly wanted me to win. And then of course I did. And she takes
off running. And I’m like wait, am I supposed to chase you? And
she says “yeah before I get to my room.” So my shoes are untied.
And They’re almost coming off of me as I’m... But I’m still tak-
ing these steps two at a time because I’ve got long legs. So I catch
up to her really quickly. And I reach her by the time we’re at the
front door of her room. And I’m like now what. Next thing I
1884
know. I’m telling someone else about this event As if I had al-
ready woken up from the dream.
RETINAL WASP
There was the part where I was out in the road by the arena and
the girls I was with got in an accident or something happened
and I sped off. I tried to come back and check on them later. But
my father was giving me trouble and I kept trying to leave my
home street. So that’s when my father were racing or something
on that dip or land in my street.
I was walking around the property as a party was underway.

Don’t remember many details before the wasp part. When I was
with those three girls on the deck.
That thing with the deck and the wasp that gets people retinas
and lives there for five minutes. It freaked me out so I came inside
and stopped talking to those three girls at the party at pine hill.
I went and warned Asia who was in the workroom and sealed us
in for a few minutes. When I came back out my parents had re-
turned from their long night out with Jamie, Julie and Colleen.
And Colleen and Julie were on the deck talking. I went into the
cabinet to get a snack and saw Easter candy and went to eat some
but my mom flipped out and she was waving and saying no. Be-
cause Easter was tomorrow and I think I was spoiling a surprise.
So every time I would be told to put something down I would
just pick up something else and she got mad. Then I went and sat
on the couch.
I was super tired and this song was playing really loud as I stared
into the kitchen. Someone commented about a Christmas card,
so I thought I was listening to this super elaborate Christmas
card with singing and instruments. I was soooo groggy, and I
commented about how the keyboards sounded like my Yamaha.
And near the end of the song the vocals got even clearer and I
1886
turned around and saw Nanny, Jamie and someone else playing a
three piece with keys, vocals and something else. And I was like
what the fuck I’m so tired I thought I was listening to a greeting
card that plays when opened and I described the greeting card
mechanism. They were confused as to why I ever thought that,
and so I was shocked to see everyone singing behind me, as I had
been on the couch facing the kitchen looking at my dad when
everyone behind me was playing.
Uncle came in close to kiss my cheek and say he was gonna take
shots. I told him I don’t do alcohol, and he told me he doesn’t ei-
ther. It was just a game he wanted to play. And then I’m like “why
can’t we just IV water into our arms... or soda.”
PASTOR TENDON COMING AT
IT!
Early early in the dream there was a thing with me sleeping, and
my mom burst into the room. It was a hotel, and I flipped out. I
wasn’t wearing pants but at least I was coveted by a blanket. But
I got up when she left and I was so angry. My dad came against
me for being angry and it didn’t end well. That was early.
There was something Christmas going on. And Jesus was on tele-
vision. It was a Christmas special showing the crucifixion and
felt like the Trans Siberian orchestra special. And I was really an-
noyed by all of it. And there was stuff with food. The whole fam-
ily was there and church people.
Scene with worship team in Londonberry basement. Jeff came

in and we looked at each other and did a quick laugh. My hair
looked amazing. Like anime hair. It was large and spiky. All of
those old worship guys were coming in. They hadn’t seen me in
a while. And I looked amazingly cool but I knew they would im-
mediately notice I was no longer one of them. It was obvious.
All of the worship singing girls were taking a seat. And I couldn’t
take a seat. I remember there being a problem like I feared I
would be forced to sing but that might have had to do with the
battle.
Something was wrong with Asia. She was being seduced by

something evil. And I was so mad at her for it.
I remember when Asia first left. We were all sitting on the floor
and Asia just sprang up laughing and ran out through the sliding
glass door, like Londonberry basement, and everyone was won-
dering wtf. And then we couldn’t agree on how it happened or
1888
where she was sitting. My mother thought she was elsewhere. So

I said no she was right here. And a girl behind me drew up a di-
agram which corroborated what I saw. That’s when we learned
that there was a man outside being creepy. We needed the help of
the pastor. The worship team then was like let’s do this. So they
went outside as if they would fight a war but they couldn’t hold
it off. Then the pastor covered himself in yellow paint and re-
signed. So then I did my action hero line “Pastor Tendon coming
at it.”
The other Pastor covered himself in a yellow pudding-like sub-

stance and sat in a drawn (?) up in the air. So I took an action
pose and then said “Pastor Tendon coming at it!” Then I
strapped on a gun: only one guy heard me I think. And I went
running outside. That’s where I got approached by that girl. And
I’m like “identify yourself. Identify yourself.” Had to kill her.
And the others were angry at me. And we started crying while
trying to prove that I did all I could. I was sobbing that she had
to die, saying how she was beautiful and had a whole life to live.
And damn she really was beautiful, but she was possessed and she
was about to shoot me.
There was a guy out there who didn’t belong and he was about
to lure Asia to the shed on the right side of the yard. Someone
said they spotted a guy with glasses and a blank face or some-
thing who was bald and he was standing outside. I said I saw him
a minute ago standing by the shed and there his animation didn’t
resemble the others, and so I went to peek again and sure enough
he was standing there, arms folded, waiting. So we all assembled
to go fight a war. But he was changing people from their natures
and they were becoming like zombies. Not literally. Which is
what happened to that girl I had to kill.
The guy outside was so creepy. Didn’t look like a normal man.
Had no face. And stood there like the son of man painting with
the pear on his face. And it seemed that within this dream, my
hatred of religion was proportionate to the awesomeness of my
hair, and my hair did look awesome.
When the evil man saw that I was coming out to fight it had
to change tactics since I was not like others, not like the Chris-
tians. It knew that I had a different weakness. And so once it un-
derstood my mind, it started possessing beautiful things, beau-
tiful people, and I hated to destroy beauty in order to kill the
evil. And they almost killed me. That girl and I had our weapons
pointed at one another. But in the end I won against them. But
the people around me did not understand what I had done. So
they came at me, thinking evil was more obvious. And I wept on
the ground about how this was never about what I want to do,
and always about what I have to do.
HANDCUFFS
At the start of the dream I was sitting in the Pine Hill computer
room browsing social media and came upon some account
which depicted vibrant amusement parks and the like. After
looking at the descriptions, I noticed that the poster was some-
how attempting to tie the images to some socialist agenda, and
I was going to leave a comment saying “One day may we all
ride along in our socialized rollercoaster through two breastlike
mountains.” It was a comment about the images or videos he was
posting but it was funny to me.
I walked out from the computer room into the Pine Hill living
room. It was very late at night and all the lights were off. I could
barely discern anything at all in the dark. After standing around
for a minute or so I could make out the shape of my mother who
was standing at the end of the kitchen, by Asia’s old door (al-
though that room used to be my parents’ room in my earliest
years of childhood, before they got the upstairs). Very very faint-
ly could I make out her shape. Then as she was passing through
the kitchen she froze as she glimpsed my figure in the darkness
and she couldn’t tell who I was at first. She begins panicking, ask-
ing who I am and ‘what am I’. Unable to speak, I couldn’t let her
know that it was me, so I just felt helpless while waiting on her
to figure it out. But she kept going. Not until I did some weird
loose movement did she figure it was me. So she said my name,
and it seemed like it was all good, but then I tried to be funny by
making a creepy puppet motion after she said my name, as if to
say “noooope.” And that freaked her out more than I intended.
Then she came at me and tried to freak me out. She had a “Oh,
you like that? You like being scared?” attitude, and she got in my
face, still amid he darkness. I remember I cried a little bit, not out
1891
of fear but out of hurt since I wasn’t meaning any harm and now
she was being cruel to me.
The next day I recounted the story to Asia. I came down the
hallway and found Asia sitting on the couch in what looked like
Nanny and Poppop’s old Roanoke apartment. I couldn’t speak so
we communicated via notepad. I asked her if she heard what hap-
pened. She said no. I was sort of trying to communicate parts of
the story to Asia through my mind and I was thinking maybe she
could tell what I was thinking. The writing was tiring so I would
write only as much as I felt I had to and then hope she could fill
in the blanks. But I quickly realized thad she couldn’t pick up on
my train of thought so I had to resort to writing it all down. So I
told her the whole story basically exactly as I wrote it above, and
how much it bothered me. This went on for about ten minutes.
Then there were a couple comments about music, and I noticed
a sizable stack of vinyls on the table next to me. She referenced
some classic rock band which didn’t seem like the type she would
be into, and she spoke of it in a loud voice, so I made a silly com-
ment along the lines of “If you say their name loud enough they
will come.” Like a summoning joke, because of how loudly she
was talking about the band. That’s when I heard footsteps com-
ing down the hall in our direction. I thought it was Micah and
so I didn’t care to acknowledge him. Then I noticed it was dad.
He was holding a pair of handcuffs in one hand and an empty
glass bottle in the other. “That’s it, no more strikes, you’re coming
with me, I’m taking you to jail,” he says in an aggressive voice. At
first my heart sank, since I figured this was about the event with
my mother, as I hadn’t seen him since the event and I figured
he’d punish me for it without bothering to figure out what actu-
ally happened; but he walked past me and went to cuff Asia. It
had something to do with her paying rent. I wasn’t entirely sure.
I tried to step in and intervene. Suddenly I could talk again, ap-
parently. He sets down the beer bottle on a table and starts hand-
cuffing her. I was eyeing the bottle closely, ever so tempted to
pick it up and use it against him, but I was sure that he wouldn’t
be considerate in his retaliation and that I would probably end
up getting cut in return.
I continued to argue with him, attempting to talk him out of

what he was doing. I was noticing that his appearance had
changed over the years, if subtly, becoming more demonic. I was
shouting at him with an intensity of emotion. “You look younger
these days, but so much more evil, like you sold your soul to a
Hot Pocket commercial.” His eyebrow went up, since he couldn’t
understand the allusion. Neither could I, although I thought it
made sense at the time.
I remember pointing to photos of him on a wall, while saying

“This man is gone, replaced by an evil leech.” But then when I
took a closer look at the portraits and photos, they all looked
a lot more sinister than I remember. I just remember photos of
him with these brutish, wrestler-like guys in these creepy pos-
es, howling and pushing. And I said “Oh, never mind. Perhaps
you’ve always been evil.” And that’s what finally set him off,
prompting him to come at me. I went running quickly around
the corner into the hallway, still in what looked like Nanny and
Poppop’s old apartment. And when he rounded the corner I
kicked outwardly as hard as I could, since I hadn’t grabbed the
bottle and kicking him seemed my only defense, even though I
doubt it would have done anything. But I woke up at this mo-
ment due to accidentally kicking in reality.
EX-CON
I was standing there with that guy who I thought was a criminal
earlier. We were playing in the roadway. And Jeiezza was on the
roadside and watched.
We did three songs. And in each song I tried a different singing

technique. In the last song I was horizontally singing through the
air while about two feet off the ground. It was an amazing feeling
This guy wasn’t good at first. It had just shown him and I forget
how and why. But he kind of forced me away. But I came to think
of him as good. Jeiezza was upset because we were supposed to
be spending time together but now this was going on. So I had
to keep going over and reassuring her that I would be with her
shortly.
At the end I asked my father what it is he expected that he would

be able to pull off because he wanted to use this wind and air
technology to do tricks and impress people. But I told him that
it’s like artificial intelligence in the sense that he’s not just gonna
be able to go and do this and everyone will be shocked. The
judges will already know that this is going around. People expect
this by now.
1894
A BOY AND HIS MICROPHONE
At the beginning I was in a church, but I forget the details of
that part. Then there was a lot of stuff involving my parents.
My mother and this prisony location and some food. Oh, it was
in the Pine Hill house. I remember walking into the comput-
er room as my parents were looking at stuff, and I candidly ask
“Whatcha guys talking about, fascism?” And they didn’t answer,
which left me disappointed, because I had more lines to deliv-
er in response, since I was really pissed about who they were be-
coming, politically speaking, what with their Trump obsession
and all, and it got me really furious to find that their beliefs were
so infirm and corrupt. Then my mother noted that some snack
bars had been moved in case I was looking for them, and I said “I
thought those were dad’s anyway, so I haven’t been eating them,”
and he smiled at my comment, either because he didn’t know
that they were his or because I had respected what I thought to
be his food. Then I looked in the cabinets and everything had
been shifted to a lower cabinet following some cleaning spree,
and all of these vanilla Oreo-like cookies had been moved to a
cookie jar on the counter. So I took a cookie and went down in-
to my Charldon room (which is weird, because the kitchen and
PC room were Pine Hill) and took a seat at my computer, where
I ate the cookie. I forget what I was doing. I think I tried to fall
asleep, but this was shortly before I came upstairs to the party...
in a house I’d never been to, and everyone else was playing games
and pool. While I put on a karaoke show for a few guys. I re-
member doing “The Dark Sentencer” by Coheed and Cambria
and several other songs before going to do Tendon Levey.
I started taking requests for Tendon Levey tracks. Someone said

“A Boy and His Bomb” and I was like “What the hell?! That’s
1895
the third time that song has been requested, making it my most
requested song. I wouldn’t have expected that!” Then I started
singing, but he was singing at the same time so I don’t think he
could hear what I was doing, and I was trying to show him some-
thing I did with the microphone by pulling it away and pulling
it back to get the falling sound, but then I realized the micro-
phone I’ve had in my room had been on the whole time. I was
like “Wait, has that been on since you got here?” And he was like
“Yeah, it was already on.” He said just halfway incoming... little
black microphone that sits by the television. So it had been on
since last time? Goddamn.
Then I went walking down the hall. I peeked in one room to see
Asia asleep on a bed among a pile of wires. Was there some other
guy wandering the hall...?
THE SEVEN
There were these rooms... uhh. There were also these seven or so
pre-saved personalities that we were testing out. They had been
bottled up for machine learning.
It was like a surrealist painting. We all had to quickly arrange

ourselves in position. This may be a hallucination, though. Nan-
ny and Poppop were in it earlier. A dog, too.
This dream was a continuation of the dream wherein each of sev-

en so/called themes had a list example that you can test. And I
was able to test each one out without committing so that was
nice and it got to show me to several different mindsets
Asia and Micah made an appearance at one point and they were
being assholes. I kept teleporting to this pageant or something.
Yeah... what was that all about...
1897
SINEMA
I was in a theater. I was in this strange automatic driving car,
Writing a book. Driving with some other guy, When he ran
through the curtain of this theater, And when I went in after him
I ran right into police And he no was nowhere to be found. I
looked around and didn’t know what to do. The police spoke to
me. I was apprehensive at first. But (R) thought I was part of the
crew or something So they pointed me to the side stage area, An-
other area. I went through the curtains and heads singing. There
were like a hundred people gathered around watching a movie.
So I arrived late with this other guy. We both took a seat on the
same couch. I was at the very end. We were with other people
on the couch. I remember there was a dog too. And the guy who
he had just sat down with said something like “doggy is mine.”
Which was worded in a weird way where it sounded like he was
saying that this was his dog. And the people who owned it were
like what??? But he wasn’t talking about him at home.
There were these kids who really liked these little blown glass an-
imal sculptures. So the lady who owned them gave them to the
kids for free.
Then we all sat there for the rest of the dream watching a movie.
I was falling asleep most of the time. Often accidentally leaning
against the stranger to the left of me. But he never said anything
about it and I think he was falling asleep too.
As for the movie... it was so weird. It was a noir film starring Dav-
ey Havok from AFI and it kept getting progressively more weird
and cyber until the end Davey was having to use his skills to lock
on to multiple planetary targets at once to destroy some solar
threat. And then I see him fighting alongside (L) in this video
1898
game dungeon thing. And it was so weird I could hardly believe

what I was watching.
Oh, that reminds me that much earlier in this dream there was
a part where I was standing in my kitchen or something and
moved away from this baby bear, expecting a mother bear to
come attack anyone who took her baby bear, But the mother was
eating and didn’t seem to care.
COFFEE SPILL
I’m getting vague recollections of a college campus, but I’m
pissed that I can’t remember further back than the latter-most
scenes, as there was certainly a lot more to the dream than this.
I remember attempting to analyze and justify negative emotional

states. I also remember riding in a car at one point. And maybe
even something to do with Christmas? Oh yeah, for a while I
remember analyzing my emotional states while shifting the time
slightly. Like, I would move it slightly so as to fit better with what
was going on. Think about my video creator program where you
can separate the audio track from the video track and then slide
them independently of one another. I was doing something like
that with my emotion and my thinking so as to change the way
in which they added up, as if looking for a better alignment, and
I might have figured out something wild in the process.
Me and that girl, my partner, were then in a room for much of

the dream. It felt like a hotel. It wasn’t where we lived. I think the
television was on in the background. Hell, I don’t even remem-
ber what we wanted. The girl was definitely supposed to be Jeiez-
za.
Before this we were getting ready to make a break for it outside,

realizing we were wanted by soldiers, and knowing they hadn’t
found us yet. We were in a room that resembled Asia’s old room.
But then as we sat around I kept looking outside and I saw sol-
diers arrive. So we couldn’t escape this way after all. They were
outside with guns. And started firing target practice. And I was
like “Holy shit! The dude is putting holes through this tiny little
red target in front of the gun with perfect accuracy!” but then I
1900
realized that it was attached to the gun and so I was glad I didn’t
say anything out loud, because I would have looked stupid.
She had to run to the bathroom down the hall real quick. And
I’m like “Hurry up, and please don’t be seen.” So she leaves the
room and I’m so worried that they’ll come in the meantime. And
so I’m looking down the hall and there is a dog like Gizmo. And
he sees me and he’s cocking his head because he has no clue I was
there. He’s getting all excited, and I’m trying to figure out how to
curb his excitement so that he doesn’t cause a scene. Then Jeiez-
za returns. And when we go get coffee from the kitchen which
is just down the hall. And there were two women in there which
felt like my mother and father’s mother.
At the end, after we got our coffee, she spilled some and I got
upset with her while I wiped up the counter with paper towels.
The women in the room took note and I just looked like a bad
husband as they didn’t realize the situation we were in and how
I was trying to avoid drawing attention to ourselves. Then we
went back to the room hoping to find that the soldiers had gone
away, but when we walked by we saw a soldier pressed up against
the window, scanning the room and scowling, and so we took
off running up the stairs of the place after making some com-
ment. Meanwhile drinking coffee... literally while running. The
mechanics were odd in that they were very realistic, as it was hard
to do it without spilling. I kept thinking maybe I shouldn’t drink
more than half of it just in case the soldiers capture us and give us
some pills or something to make us talk and it reacts badly with
all the stimulation of the coffee. We ran up three flights. There
was one flight left to go, but instead we opted to run into a room
on the third floor instead of going to the next set of stairs. There
were boxes everywhere, many of which were upside down and
empty. So we got under two of them; each of us in a separate box.
Then we worked ourselves over to the far end of the room: an at-
tic-like room. That’s when I woke up.
MONKEY STRATEGY
I was walking through a jungle-like terrain when I exclaimed the
word “Strategy!” As in a strategy had come to me and I was an-
nouncing it, sort of like saying “A-ha!” Then, from the top of
a nearby tree, I hear “Straaategy!” being exclaimed by an odd,
light-colored gorilla or chimp that was mimicking me, and I was
in awe, so I summoned it down to the ground. It descends the
tree, and the first thing it says to me is something like “I’m just
normal monkey that know ‘Hello’” or maybe it was not ‘hello’,
but he gave a human word. And I said “I’m just normal human
that know hoo hoo ha ha” doing the traditional Monkey noise.
He was basically curtailing my expectations by establishing that
he wasn’t a special monkey but just knew one or two things and
wanted to clarify that. We then worked together for a while in
the forest. Pissed that the rest is hazy, because this went on for
a while. And something about making drinks? And at the end
of the dream I recounted it for someone believing I had already
woken up.
I think this was after I was in a kitchen with Nanny and Poppop.
And she was telling me how it annoys her when I was crawling
underneath the House and underneath the table. And we were
reading some article from a really older newspaper. And I com-
mented about How it’s insane that so many of the practices from
that time were so much more unethical than we realized. espe-
cially those relating to child rearing. I tried to speak a sentence
but I jumbled it up so bad that everyone got distracted by that
aspect of what I was saying and missed my point. And I wanted
to tell my parents how I am still haunted by Scenes of my father
spanking me but I never got to open up about it.
1903
Dammit, I was writing down my dream while still dreaming again

and so I forget exactly what I was saying. Something weird about
cracking a toilet seat when sitting down, and so I reframed the ques-
tion as to...
Uhh. Just trying to let them know that my credit score has improved
since our encounter. What the fuck am I talking about...
At the end there is this Sasquatch character dancing in a parking

lot among street lights with a song like “Keep Tomorrow for Me” (by
Heatwave) playing.
ANTACID ANALOGIES
There was a homeless man who kept coming around to our
house in Pine Hill—a gay middle-aged man who had taken to
my family—and he was always trying to give wise instruction to
me and Asia. And my family would make food for him. I re-
member that he asked something about where my dad got the
barbecue. But my dad didn’t really answer in full. So after the
guy walked off my mother was like “Why don’t you tell him?” or
“Why don’t we give it to him?” The guy then called my dad’s cell
phone and wanted to come by again tomorrow
I took my mother’s credit card while sitting on the couch, eating

Wheat Thins, and went and bought a shit ton of toys and cas-
sette tapes on eBay from my phone. I was in the Pine Hill living
room sitting up against the wall that connects to the bathroom.
I told her that the amount left on the card was equal to the
amount she owed me, even though it was higher and I hoped she
wouldn’t check. I remember listing off the cassettes I purchased.
Then I was like “Wait... did I buy this one?” And I looked at
this one album on Bandcamp that I’ve been enjoying lately. And
I’m thinking “I hope I purchased that tape.” Then I played the
first song off the album, but it sounded different than it usual-
ly would. They had updated it for some reason. And I was like
“Nooooo.” It didn’t sound bad, but it wasn’t what I was used to.
They tried to improve a couple vocal melodies and I wasn’t into
it. So I went and listened to the .mp3 I had saved on my phone
and it sounded different as well, and I was confused. Or maybe it
sounded fine. I don’t remember.
Something happened after this but I forget what. Then came the
part where I was eating antacids and chatting with Sarah I sup-
1905
pose. But I feel like there was a part in between where I was out
and about.
I was speaking to Sarah about losing belief in God. She was strug-
gling to admit to as much so I was sharing with her my own ex-
perience, while using antacids as analogies, since I had a bottle
next to my computer and I was just eating them out of boredom.
And then the analogy became too convoluted and I struggled to
understand what she meant... her question was like “Can these
strawberry and banana antacids also be peach and pineapple?”
And I’m like “What?” Because there was this broken mass of the
former.
TOILET ART
Staying at some hotel with people who appeared like our cousins
and maybe some of V’s from New Jersey, who appeared at ran-
dom intervals. I kept wandering off into the upstairs levels of the
hotel so when I would come back down, Scarlet sat out in front
of the room. So when I came in that one time I was like thank
goodness for Scarlet sitting front because I don’t pay attention
and this lets me know we are staying.
At the end Asia and I were planning to go out into Disney world
and do some stuff together. We couldn’t figure out if we had
done this before just the two of us or if I merely dreamed about
it.
Nanny was there at one point. They were playing with Lego’s
when I came back, mainly sad.
Later in a separate scene we were all (our parents and us) sitting
on a couch in Pine Hill talking about Asia’s dumb demon book
which they actually bought for her. And how their views had
changed since we were children in what was acceptable. Talking
about how demons weren’t real. And I commented that if
demons were real my life would be a lot different and I would
be a lot more powerful. But yeah they were joking about the
fact that they had bought Asia this book for Christmas which
was like a grimoire. Since she mentioned the book to be cool or
something and mom was like “we freaking bought you that.”
I asked Asia if she was satisfied with her childhood as we were

sitting on the couch, turning my head to the right to ask her, and
if she would have preferred a different experience. She said “I am
still a child, ever since last year!.” And I’m like “what??” She’s like
1907
“yeah I started doing toilet art and I feel like a child again.” Then
she went into this talk about doing ‘toilet art’, and I said “ I think
we have a magazine in the racks in the bathroom about toilet art”
and she goes “yeah!”
At the very end I was looking for a shirt to wear and getting ready
to go out into the park with Asia. It was a few minutes to 3 PM.
I was talking about how last time we went out together we rode
the roller coaster together but I couldn’t remember the name. Al-
though I could visualize it. But yeah it looks like I only dreamed
about it after all.
Oh there was that part where I think we thought mom died. She
had said some stupid stuff to Nanny on the phone. And we could
hear her and my father fighting about how stupid she was acting.
But it turned out to just be her behaving immaturely.
At the very beginning of this dream mom and I drove to a mall

and were walking around a mall. Not too eventful.
DOUBLE KITCHEN
I was walking through this large house in the middle of the
night. Technically it was my house but seemed like a richer ver-
sion of it. I was so upset because at one point a bag had been
dropped on the floor of the workroom which resembled the
Londonberry workroom and it looked like a little clump of mar-
ijuana was among its contents. Before I could get to it, my father
picked it up thinking it was trash and went to throw it out up-
stairs in the kitchen. At the time that this happened I had been in
the basement recording songs, some of which were metal back-
ing tracks for my dad to add vocals to.
A while later I walked by nonchalantly, Reached into the trash,

Pulled it out While he was cooking and he said what are you
doing, And I said something like you accidentally threw away
my colored pencils, And it was true there were colored pencils
in there too, But there was no pot; Although something that
looked sort of like it, a dust clump, And I couldn’t figure out if it
had always been like that, But I was convinced there used to be
pot here dating back to like 2007.
He was cooking in the kitchen. I was wandering through the

kitchen or kitchens
Since there were two. It like wrapped around the perimeter of

the house. So there were two Kitchen rooms mirroring each oth-
er
I also remember at one point being in the second kitchen. Where

my father was not cooking. But Gizmo was there. And I saw my
dad's coat slumped over a chair. And I saw several buttons and
patches that looked like mine. But they were different. Like my
1909
4w5 button said 3w4. And I was like wait no is he not a 3w4,
what the hell.
Later I was on YouTube working on Comprachicos. This was

right before the Candyland thing. And I also created something
for my friend. It was simple and normal, as if he had Alzheimer’s.
It was just this weird bunch of clips and he liked it. So he used
it to represent him. And I was going to make him owner of the
channel or channels, but I was afraid that there was a limit to
how many channels I could invite people to, as I had already in-
vited him to Tendon Levey, so I thought I would invite him to
Comprachicos first just in case I could only do one more, even
though that seemed weird and slightly selfish since the other
channel was more his thing.
Then I browsed YouTube for a little while, watching the trailer

for a new movie based on the board game Candyland starring
Zach Braff. All the R&B artists were losing their nipples and
Zach was the only one to keep his. Right-wing politicians
seemed especially interested in this movie and were sharing it
across social media and I couldn’t understand why.
The Candyland ad reminded me of something. So then I went

over and started going through this box of Valentine’s Day candy
or something from Japan and it was maybe a year or two old.
There were weird things in there. Like candy beepers. Looked
like beepers/pagers you could clip on to your pants but the top
opened up and there were candy sticks inside, as it’s hollow. And
there were all sorts of cool fun Japanese candies. I kept looking at
the expiration dates ‘cause I wasn’t sure. I only ended up eating a
twizzler. But I ate three red twizzlers, slightly stale but still twiz-
zly.
I remember when I came upstairs to talk to my dad I heard my

Abracadammit album playing on the stereo and I was like oh no
what the fuck and went to turn it off, fearing that my father was
listening to it, But I have no idea (since in reality he has never
heard my music and I have tried my damnedest to keep it from
my parents). Oh then there was that scene where I was in a din-
ing room watching videos on a television. Of this girl who was
supposedly the best friend of one of my closest friends. And I re-
member thinking that I guess my subconscious has picked her.
From all the available girls. And that she is the one I’ll end up
with or seek out. Even though there were several girls to choose
from. But she was the one that I would become fixated on.
At the very end of he dream it showed that one lady in the city
find her glasses, saying “oh that’s weird, here are the glasses I lost
this morning” meanwhile the other woman that the camera was
supposed to be following was getting onto the wrong bus because
she had dementia and who knows where she was heading to.
SANDAL SANDWICH
I was traveling through different dimensions. I spent much of the
early parts of the dream in that house where I left a painting and
other things and had these long talks with that old woman. I was
with my partner, who was my age. I wish I remembered more
about what we did since it made up most of the dream. It had a
philosophical and humanitarian angle.
There was some part involving dogs, where we were left alone
with three dogs and an old stereo system in a garage. And I was
looking at a modern stereo system and comparing it, because it
was more sleek and updated, and those three dogs just wanted to
play. Nothing aggressive.
Throughout the dream I kept wanting to send the song “33” by

Coheed and Cambria to people. I had a reason, but I don’t re-
member what it was. It was going through my head for so much
of the time, and I recall sitting on Instagram and listening to it
while browsing pages.
Then I did whatever I needed to do to travel back to my Lon-

donberry bedroom, and it was late at night. Asia knocked at my
door. She was still half asleep but told me something about some-
thing funny happening and I was like just tell me when you get
up later, I’ll remind you. And I was crouching behind the door
because I couldn’t find pants that would fit.
After traveling once again I ended up in a mall, and it was very

realistic though not too busy, and at the far end of the mall there
was a video rental outlet. I went in there knowing it was some-
what new, and when I first went in I felt super young and small.
I was like kid size for some reason or my perceptions came from
1912
someone of that height. But that changed as the minutes went on

and I began conversing with the girl behind the counter. I came
in to browse and I was wondering why all of the snacks were
almost gone. She said that they’re not refilling them. “When
they’re gone they’re gone.” They were going out of business. And
I’m like “Didn’t you just open up like two weeks ago? ‘Cause I
only just discovered this place and I was happy when I did.” She
said yes, but I think they received complaints from some people.
So after that girl and I began talking she took me to the back
room. What did the girl want to show me in that room? It was
sort of like a patio. She was really cool, though I remember she
was afraid of her boss coming back while she was gone and find-
ing her nowhere to be found.
Did we get touchy? I feel like we did. Maybe not too touchy.
Maybe not kissy or anything. She was asking me if I wanted to do
something, so I was upfront with her about my restrictions. Say-
ing “I may look normal but I’m like a candle in the rain, dodging
raindrops. I’m so close to going out and I can’t do a lot of things
that normal people can do.” And she was like “Then what about
this?” And she held up the sandwich she was making, because
she wanted to show me how crazy it was. She had this sandwich
in her hands that she was eating and I could plainly tell that it
was a black sandal on a bun. The sandal had been cooked in some
way, and she claimed that it tastes like a portobello mushroom
when cooked. And I’m like “Sorry...” But then after a moment, I
changed my mind and took a bite. “Whoa, it does. It’s good and
I don’t even like mushrooms.”
I remember after I bit the sandal sandwich hoping it didn’t cause

me throat problems but then I figured it was less likely to since I
was around other people and had oxytocin in me. And I was go-
ing to say “if it causes me problems we can just kiss them away”
but I didn’t have the guts to say that out loud.
Someone came into the shop eventually and we could hear them
in the next room. I’m like oh no, ‘cause I recognized this guy
from church. A total nerd, going on and on about his projects.
And I’m like I hope he doesn’t try to get my contact information
or network with me because the content I share is the opposite
of his, being all atheism related.
The guy eventually left and me and the girl just sat around the
store discussing things we liked and disliked until I woke up.
Mostly food related. I remember at the ending part when talking
about foods we liked and disliked. She was running through
them. And I was trying to remember the name of a food that I
liked but that most people hated. I’m not sure what I was look-
ing for. But I couldn’t find it. And she was meanwhile spouting
things, like the fact that she didn’t like onions. And I’m like oh
onion is fine. And while I was still on food she tried to move on
to celebrities. And so I hear her say Arnold Schwarzenegger but I
don’t know what she was saying about him, whether liked or dis-
liked, although I think it was the latter. But I was distracted by
vegetables.
To her, who I love, “You move me.”
I was saying this repeatedly in my mind as I woke up—not to

anyone in particular. Sort of just rehearsing.
SIGIL MUSICK
This musician that I looked up to as a child was in our London-
berry house and we were all intent on impressing him, except
that there were about a dozen others over at the time as well all
sort of vying for his attention.
Toward the end I approached him when I overheard him com-

menting to my sister about how he really loved seeing music
combined with hypnotic and x... something like mind control
but not quite. I told him that a couple years earlier had created
a complex multimedia project that was far more intricate than
it looked on the surface, employing methods learned in sigil
magick and seeking to accomplish a specific purpose in the user
which was far more complicated than it looked, but that I was
happy with how it turned out, and he thought that was cool. In
my head at the time I was imagining a rictus mask picture. At
that point Asia noted how it was funny that everyone was leaving
at different times and it was annoying because it drew attention
to the fact that everyone was almost gone at this point and so the
musician was like “oh! If that’s the case I’m going to have to call
so and so and tell them I’m alone” so as to get picked up and I
was sad wishing that he would stay longer and see me worth talk-
ing to but he didn’t seem to care much.
Before this part my father and I had gone out driving. We were
going to some concert event but it was supposed to only last
a ridiculous short amount of time like 21 minutes but it also
seemed to be taking place in a church, so after being in the car
and driving. I was just like meh this isn’t worth it. Let’s go back
home.
1915
HAMSTERS IN MY PANTS
Uncle Jamie showed up while I was laying on the floor watching
YouTube on my phone. He came over rudely and just sort of took
it out of my hand and I’m like dude if you want me to put it
down just ask. So I put it down. Then I told him he was in my
dream the previous night. Then I looked across the room and I
saw this musician who came with him, I’m like “dammit this is
all the dream I just had” And my mother made it sound like that
was perfectly normal or unremarkable and I got really annoyed.
And I made some comments about how she and Asia were inca-
pable of saying positive things about other people because they
seem to feel it detracts from their own something... so they were
just such negative people.
Uncle Jaimie sitting on my chest and trying to proselytize by

showing me some Christian video which added visuals to some
very cliche gospel message. Meanwhile I’m having to get him
to move down so he’s not sitting on my epigastric hernia. And,
while speaking of the video, he says “that’s quite an achievement
isn’t it? It really helped me!” He said that. And me, not wanting
to either lie to him or misrepresent my own views, I’m just like
“If they consider it an achievement and they are happy with it
then sure.” He was talking about his son that died and I’m like
wait you had a young son? But I didn’t ask aloud.
We talked for a little bit. Then I remember I had an issue with

hamsters in my pants. There was just this threatening situation
where I knew hamsters were going to come out of my pants.
Don’t know how it happened. They had been building tunnels
in my yard. Actually the tunnels had been built by snakes previ-
ously. But hamsters had taken them over. And so about half way
1916
through the visit I just had to unzip my pants as two hamsters

came crawling out and it was such a freaky but hilarious scene
and only Jamie was looking when it happened.
I was annoyed that the other musician was being asocial. He only
ever shook hands with and introduced himself to my father, even
though me, my sister and mother were sitting around. And I was
waiting for him to notice me because I wanted him to think I
was cool even though I thought of him as lame and hated his
fascist political views. Toward the end my sister and I went in-
to the Londonberry utility room. Which is weird ‘cause most of
the dream took place in the Pine Hill living room on the floor.
She picked up the bass and I was like aww I want bass. But then I
was like never mind and I went over to the little synthesizer and
started experimenting with sounds. Lots of weird patches. Then
we played Loud. Was hoping people would come into the room
after hearing us but only my mother did.
I checked my emails from Chad and he was excited having found

an art forum or several so he gave me several URLs. About the
forum thing. I went to a link Chad sent me. It said Chad but I
knew it was meant to be someone else. And I saw his forum post
where he introduced himself. A music and art forum. And the
first post or introduce him.’as well as the post after that, Was my
father posting, With none of them knowing how each other was
relating to me. So I couldn’t believe the coincidence. And I told
my sister, then mother, but told her not to tell my father, but she
did anyway.
I WISH THAT YOU DIED
INSTEAD
Around the end when me and my father got back home Asia
was making something in the kitchen, and I was like I’m making
some green tea. And she was talking about some new age playlist
that was on mom's computer and listening to it but I then she
meant something else.
Much much earlier maybe in my previous dream there was that

huge crying fight I got in with my father who was threatening to
kill me. And I told him I wish he died instead of moms, because
even if she was a complete fool who didn’t understand how to
do anything, she at least meant well, whereas he is just a horri-
ble control freak who doesn’t care about anyone but himself. We
were in some weird factory setting at the time of this and after-
wards we may have gone out for a drive.
I remember watching a Katatonia music video for a song I never

saw before which sounded like one of their older ones and it
showed Jonas in a grave pouring the dirt upon himself. I also re-
member I was supposed to meet up with KH and M and I got
lost on my way there and had to come back and felt really shitty
about it.
Then later me and my father returned to Nanny and Poppop’s

New Jersey house and it smelled weird and Gizmo or some dog
ran out to greet us.
1918
ANIMAL CRACKERS
A music festival was taking place and there was a house on the
property in which everyone was hanging out, so we were all
just kinda mingling with different musicians. I recall the vocalist
from Minus the Bear standing around in the kitchen talking to
me and my friends for a little while, but he was so antsy and just
wanted to get on with the show, so he kept looking back to see if
they were ready for him.
Animal crackers, soup crackers, honey, some sort of alcohol

syrup and one other ingredient that I’m forgetting, all smashed
up and mixed together in a bowl. And I’m like “Aw hell, this is
good.” Sitting out on the deck eating this while the others make
fun of me for it. I got the animal crackers and soup crackers from
this box that was passed out to me by that little girl who was in
that tent-like place. There was this girl who I had been talking
to. Very young, like seven or eight. And I guess she was going to
sleep, so her mother didn’t want to let me in since she needed
her rest. But the girl was crazy about me and she talked to me
through the curtain, helping me decide what to eat since I wasn’t
sure what I wanted. She asked me and I listed off like four things
I saw in the vending machine and asked what I should get. And
she was like you can have some of my crackers. And so she pass-
es out a little Tupperware container filled with assorted crackers.
Some of the animal crackers were also pink, but I didn’t eat those
ones, assuming they were probably her favorite and so I wanted
to leave them for her. I took about six pieces and passed them
back to her, thanking her and wishing her a good rest. It was a
cute scene, and all the guys behind me didn’t know what to think
1919
This is when I went out onto the deck. And there were those two
people skateboarding or doing something crazy fast on the deck
and one of them wiped out and I ran over to see if he was okay
because he hit the wall. And I was like are you okay dude. He was
like yeah but I couldn’t tell if he was being sarcastic due to his
way of speaking and he just sat there dazed.
Then after this I went in to mix some stuff up with the animal
crackers and ate them out of a little styrofoam bowl.
At the end that dog was getting close to me and up in my face

and it wouldn’t be tricked by my throwing motions so I threw
my hammer and it ran down the stairs of my Pine Hill house and
fetched it before bringing it back up to me and then it was back
in my face again
UNCLEAN
I got lost in the woods after getting kicked out of that place for
my appearance. I was told that I was dirty and was required to
clean my head and feet if I wished to enter. And so they kept
saying mean things to me. Then I kept having to say “I know, I
know, I’m on my way out to shower.” I didn’t look bad, or so I
thought, but I received so much flak from the workers. I came
to see my girlfriend’s mother or someone who either owned or
worked at the place. It was like a town hall, and I needed some-
one to implement some change. On the way out I got stuck on
the sidelines because all of these people with dogs came in so I
was forced to stand by the side of the door smiling as they came
in one after another, with many of them sniffing me and running
over to me (including one which appeared to have three eyes).
Then some girl came in and commented meanly about my ap-

pearance, and as I walked out of the door and down the sitars I
yelled out to her to fuck herself. She threw what she was holding
down the stairs at me but it missed. It was like a little case filled
with supplies, almost like a tackle box. It was super dark out and
I didn’t know where to go. I couldn’t see the paths. I just knew
that there was a road on either side of me, And my map wasn’t
working. I kept opening my phone to try to access specific pro-
grams but it wasn’t opening. It was totally jammed. Something
that usually allowed me to teleport or read maps was no longer
working.
So I followed the left-most path into the darkness, and after a

while of walking down this barren country road in the dark,
through a forest of trees, I arrived at this sort of futuristic prison-
like place, and I accidentally entered the building. There was no
1921
escape. There was no entrance or exit. I was just suddenly inside,

and there was no getting out. So I was just standing there afraid.
And people were walking by and almost none of them could pass
me by without approaching me and making some hostile remark.
I tried frantically to teleport out of here to my home but my apps
weren’t loading.
I was pretty afraid of what would happen to me. This group of

soldiers came by and intimidated me. The short one was particu-
larly aggressive and demanded money. I tried to help anyway. But
then he was trying to punch me or something and I was having
to shield my hernia spot. Then the guy to my left said something,
and I essentially switched into sympathetic psychologist mode
and I looked at him and asked something sincere like “How are
you doing?” or “Are you okay?” I struggled with these guys for
minutes. They couldn’t seem to let my strange presence pass.
Then the lights went out. The guys were gone. At the end some-
one came and wrapped their arm around me from behind. It was
very warm and still unsettling just because I couldn’t see who it
was since the lights had died down. Seemed to be a woman. For
a second I even wondered if it was my mother. I sat there waiting
for it to change and hoping she didn’t touch my hernia spot.
In the final moments of the dream I think I thought I woke up

and went to check my apps and it worked, it opened, whereas the
app was jammed while I was in the prison
SMOKER
I was on a deck, wanting to smoke a cigarette; so I went with my
father to pick up a pack and then I came back and smoked some
on my deck while pacing back and forth. It was the blue hour
and somewhat relaxing.
I was going to a party. I was in a car with a young Indian woman...

an actress perhaps. She sat in the seat in front of me and to the
left. I wanted to sit by her but didn’t plan correctly. Traveling
over a long bridge. I was looking out the window and noticed
the walls on the sides of the bridge weren’t tall enough. And sure
enough, our car went off a bridge into deep water. We were sub-
merged. I quickly released myself from my seat belt and swam
right over to her and helped unbuckle her, saving her. All of us
survived, and at the end I remember us all entering into a room
as old people; seniors. Like a reunion, where we were looking
back on the event from many decades in the future.
Later I was at a place with Annie. A party where we were watch-

ing movies or something for a while. And I hated it. Kept whis-
pering to her ‘when are we gonna leave’. And I kept rearranging
my cigarettes. I had a weird assortment with me. I had gotten cig-
arettes before I came. First time in a while. Because I was super
stressed. Then I went outside on this deck and smoked.
I encountered a woman who was a huge fan of mine. She had

bought me at some auction years ago. I forgot I had met her
years earlier. When she mentioned it I was like “OOOOOH
MY GOD, IT'S YOU!” But I was happy to see her and I started
being nice to her and I pulled out my lighter and started doing
this weird fire dance but it almost got dangerous and then I no-
1923
ticed all the people in the building were watching us through the
windows and watching me dance and I suddenly felt funny.
This was after I was in that movie/lecture hall. Seated in the front
row. Accidentally kicked some guy's chair. Because of some acci-
dent. Felt some guys hands in my hat massaging my scalp. This
Gengis Khan-like person got all angry and stood up in front of
me. Someone said that my actions were caused by my shifting or
standing at a specific time to show my solidarity for black peo-
ple and made me sound good. So I went with it and everyone
thought “Okay, he’s good.” Although I think that I had acciden-
tally just stood up or done something by mistake, ignorantly so.
Then after the Genghis Khan part I left that place where I had to
sit for a while... I got lost leaving this mall-like building and end-
ed up meeting up with my mother who was after some woman.
I was trying to assist my mother in pantsing some woman... as
in pull her pants down. My mother was malfunctioning and go-
ing wild, and if I grabbed her hand she would become more
controlled and focused because she was channeling my energy.
So I did so, and she was trying to pants some woman. And she
did, in the store. Then she dragged me around to pants another
woman who was running from her but the woman escaped, run-
ning through closing doors. I left my mother and went through
a random door in a changing room and ended up on a movie
set where I was on this cliff-like set and down beneath the cliff
was this beautiful but synthetic looking verdure... very surreal set.
People were looking at me like wtf who are you?'' So I said “I
just walked through such and such doors in the changing room”
And they said that’s impossible. But I was telling the truth, and I
asked what all of this was. They told me I had to leave, but I saw
a sign that said opening in spring, and I was complimenting their
efforts and saying I’ll be keeping my eye on this in the spring. I

shouted that as I left.
On the way out I ended up in this weird arcade wherein there

was this machine that said it was made for me and my mom and
one other name I forget. It had a hole—like one you reach into
to grab a prize in a crane game. But this one had like a motorized
creature in it that would bite you. But beyond that creature I saw
that there were other cool toys, like a rhino or elephant toy and
there was a girl figurine which I forced to ride the animals. Af-
ter that I began tilting the arcade game. Giant machine. And it
almost toppled over, I almost lost control. Some young girls saw
it and freaked out. I regained control and got it upright without
harm, but she started yelling that I broke the game, and I said
no I didn’t. All these kids gathered around and I started acting
strange. This young girl yelled at me to get out and called me an
old man and I think she called me a fifty-year-old man. I said
“I ain’t fifty, I’m thirty three.” Then I got up super close to her
face and in a weird/creepy voice said “LIKE JEEEESUS.” Then I
started yelling “Have you kids seen my rhino?” Then I went and
grabbed the rhino/elephant figure from before and made the girl
figurine ride it. I was behaving in a really unhinged manner while
all these kids were yelling at me, and I just ended up leaving the
arcade after causing a scene.
Looking for the exit, I stumbled into a boutique because I liked

the name, which was like Volt and I thought it might be cool but
it was people dining and jarred local foods and stuff. I remember
standing in the entrance adjusting my hat. As I was entering in, a
couple was leaving: a man and woman, both of them around sev-
en feet tall. Blonde hair guy said he was from Brazil. Told me he
loved my style and wanted to shake my hand.
This place was partly a restaurant and had food stuff up front. I
went and asked a worker where the store was but he ignored me
and kept walking. I found it further down the way but then woke
up.
LAMINATOR
I was at a theme park with my family. We were at a photo booth
attempting to get my license or park pass made up. The girl work-
ing the desk was behaving rudely at first. The way she would just
handle the cards and toss them instead of putting them down, so
they were getting bent and chipped repeatedly. She needed oth-
er forms of identification, so I gave her my childhood Kori li-
cense. And she was like “Okay Kori, you shall be called a Kori.”
And I responded saying “I have many IDs that are stranger than
that...hold on a sec,” I was like “I want this pink and yellow one
to say Kori,” (looked like the All Pepper Blown Away album art)
“...and I want this of one to say Tendon, and I want this other one
to say Choir.” She was confused, but not opposed to doing so.
But her attitude was so loud that I worried about what she would
say. Though as we stood there talking we became friendlier with
one another. I guess she found me interesting and appealing in
some way. I remember at the end she came out from around the
desk and was leaning against while just starting these random ca-
sual conversations with me, saying “Okay, get this... you know
how in haunted houses and such there are these x?” And she de-
scribed some scenario where the floor beneath the bed and some-
thing else was a certain way which she deemed creepy, and at this
point I remember shooting a quick glance at my father to say
“Oh yes, O know those.” And the glance was meant to be fun-
ny by insinuating that my bed and living circumstances were like
this, as if to say that I was living in a haunted house and perhaps
implying to her my father was an evil spirit or something. It was
meant to be funny. So she’s talking about Prince the musician
and maybe Vincent Price and some urban legend, ghost story.
God, I’m tired. I don’t feel like doing a full recall today.
1927
MOUSETRAP
I was getting ready for a while and then Asia was going to drive
me to church, but it didn’t work out right and I ended up not go-
ing, but ended up driving around with Asia for a little bit, which
was weird because I’m not used to seeing her drive.
It took me a long time to get ready for church. My family finally

made it to church, including my uncle and grandparents. And
then I was like wait... it’s the last Sunday of the month, isn’t today
communion. And they were like yes. So there was this collective
sigh. Where several of us decided to go home. Since communion
week was always a boring week. Since everyone would have to sit
in service and there would be no youth group. So I was like fuck
that.
That part where my father and I were driving around those back-
roads
There was some fair or something that I was walking around at

one point. I forget the details. It sort of blended into my parents'
attic I think.
My house got raided, and they took a lot of things including

characters. Maltreatment Omni (what???) was with those three
guys in a gazebo. After the raid I had to ask my mom if the people
who raided us threw everything else away which was not collect-
ed and she said no so I was like thank goodness, because some-
one else made it sound like that.
At the end I was up on the balcony in Pine Hill. I was in the up-
stairs room in Pine Hill getting changed into a new shirt but re-
ally I was just putting the same shirt back on.
1928
That spider in the basement room. It was attached to something

that I was moving and it kept clinging. But finally flicked it off as
I got near the washing machine, and then stepped on it or some-
thing. Then I saw something else moving on the ground and had
no idea what it was. I was talking to Jeiezza at the time. It was this
weird collection of things moving on the ground and I couldn’t
discern what it was and it slipped away before I could stomp it or
inspect it. Then when I walked back to the door end of the room
and found all of the mice in a trap. Trying to free them or least
thinking about doing it. But then someone else did it. And then
I was outside in the car filled with all the animals that were saved.
I remember hearing noises and finding a mousetrap in my Charl-

don basement which was filled with several mice and I wanted to
go and lift it and let them go but I tested I wouldn’t do it proba-
bly. I don’t think it killed them or broke their bones. Then some-
one else seems to have done so. So that’s when I’m suddenly in
the back of some van where all of these animals had been rescued
and I’m able to be with them and look at them.
Before the part where I was upstairs looking through all the
shirts
At the very end I was sending W like fifteen messages but then he
woke up right around then so I stopped to wait for him to catch
up to what I was saying. It was mostly art-related.
SURPRISE PARTY
My family was in the living room (current house) watching a
movie and during this time I was laying on the kitchen floor belly
down with Tom cruise as he was tersely talking about how he
never had a birthday party. And I was like “you mean surprise
party specifically?” And he was like “no.” So then after the movie
ended I went into the room and sat down. I pulled up a chair and
set a table in the middle of the room blocking the view of some
of the people after waiting for them until they were finished with
what they were doing.
I learned that Daniel P*****ak was in town and some of the peo-
ple I knew had seen him. I was like whoa Daniel was one of my
close friends as a teenager. I saw his current photo and he had a
shaved head. Then I realized he was married or something and
his wife had cancer. So he had shaved his head in support of her.
And I went online and found his account and saw a Video of him
entering the hospital and having to get all clean in order to go in-
to the patient room and see her.
For the last part I was in the current bedroom downstairs doing
stuff. And there were definitely little animals hiding in crevices.
And I was moving furniture around slowly trying to see what it
was. Like there was definitely some tiny beaked animal. A little
bird. Near the left side of my room (not far from my entrance).
And there was also a turtle or some such that showed itself when
I moved something near the light fixtures. My altar, so to speak.
They didn’t seem endearing, just strange. Little animals in my al-
tars.
1930
At the other end of the room, beneath my other altar, there were
all of these coins and things that had fallen through. I was listen-
ing to some podcasts while going through it all.
In the final moments of the dream I got in a silly argument with

someone—a girl—about what something meant, though I don’t
recall the specifics.
DEFACEMENT
At the end of the dream, as Asia and I were hiding by the mail-
box (Londonberry roadway) in the dark of night, I said “They’re
gonna be like ‘Where are they?’ And then they’ll look for the
car, and when they look for the car they’ll see what we did to the
van.” And before that I go “You didn’t write DIE did you? Did
you just write D?”
Because I think that the plan was to write DIE. Well, no, first
I think she was going to write DAD. Asia had completely de-
stroyed dad’s van with paintballs and other things. Just scratched
and broken. And then I commented “Oh hell. His birthday is to-
morrow.” And there was a little bit of an “Oh no” and a laugh
from both of us but then we were like “Let’s write ‘Happy birth-
day’.” But then she takes the paint and writes a big “D” that takes
up like a third of the space. So I’m trying to figure out what she’s
writing. DAD presumably. Before writing the D, but after mess-
ing up the van initially, Asia disappears into the truck or shed
and comes out with a chainsaw. And I run over to her and put my
hand on her shoulder and take it away with the other hand. Say-
ing “Please, no chainsaw. With the paintball gun, the only risk
is falling and bruising yourself or getting paint on you, but with
this you can seriously hurt yourself, and you’ve not been trained
to use this.” And then she gave some weird line about some tele-
vision show she saw where they said “Everyone knows how to use
a chainsaw, it’s just about remembering.” It was just some weird
hippy line, but I got her to put the chainsaw down. I was ner-
vous for a second. That’s when she began painting instead. Af-
ter the giant D, we heard my father and mother come outside
on the deck for a cigarette just around the corner on the deck
so we sprinted quietly down the driveway to the mailbox so they
1932
wouldn’t see or hear us nearby, leaving the basement slightly ajar

but the lights still off, and that’s when we just stood there and I’m
like “they’re going to look for the car and then see the van.”
At the very end of the dream I asked her “Do you want to go
back out?” It was a rainy night. It was not actively raining, but
the roads were wet and musty, and we were trying to figure out if
we wanted to walk or go for another drive.
We had just gotten back home from being out somewhere, and I
forget where, but we arrived home and immediately checked the
mailbox. The mailbox was filled with stuff, including books that
someone had sent me, although the three books were not in a
package and just laying loose in the mailbox. And then I remem-
ber going “Ahhh, I know a baphomet anywhere” and Asia goes
“huh?” And I lift the mail/books, exposing a piece of mail under-
neath with a baphomet on the front. It was like a pamphlet, and
I was able to see the arm or some other detail through the oth-
er mail, which is what my comment implied. Then we went back
down the driveway, I dumped all of the mail in the utility room,
not shutting the door completely, slightly ajar, as I came back out
when I realized Asia was still standing by the van.
I remember almost hitting my head at one point on this weird

brick thing that extended from the roof to another area... It was
hard to describe but very cool, and one could probably climb up-
on it and run across it and take it up to the roof. I had wondered
why I never did so before, especially when fighting with and run-
ning from my father. Then I imagined past fights I had with my
father, where I was running from him and just not as agile or dex-
terous as him so I could not hop over things or onto things as
readily as he could so I figured I probably wouldn’t have been
able to make it into something like this so quickly.
I don’t know what started all of this. Like, why was she wrecking
his work van?And where did we just come back from? It was
Londonberry the whole time. OOH. I remember why we van-
dalized his property. Because it was some Pro-Trump propagan-
da and we couldn’t believe it. It was just this huge billboard set
beside our house that said some awful, hateful thing, and we
were like “Fuck that shit, let’s deface it.” At first I think it really
was like a billboard which required Asia to climb on top of dad’s
van, but over time I think it just became the van... or else we de-
faced both.
• “But that isn’t the love I want. I want someone who holds me and
consoles me,” I think I said ‘consume me’ instead. And I was pictur-
ing someone wrapping their arms around me from behind.
• Oh I remember something about our last name. Wasn’t sure how

to feel about it. Was removing it from context. And it was just float-
ing in space practically without context and I was analyzing some-
thing about it. And I was imagining a remote control hanging on a
wall all crooked.
STRUDELS
I messaged Matt M. and we shared some music recommenda-
tions on a chat program. I had trouble opening his recommenda-
tion, which was called Today by a band called Appleseed some-
thing something. I thought maybe it would be a cover of Jeffer-
son Airplane but it wasn’t. I felt bad that I was going so long
without responding to him. I messaged him thanking him for all
the recommendations and told him to send whatever he pleased.
But I had copied over a bunch of messages from a different chat
and not all of them were pertinent to our conversation so I had
to delete like three messages I sent him and I’m pretty sure he al-
ready read them by the time I did since he was online.
I also remember playing Animal Crossing for a few minutes at

one point and running around catching dragonflies.
There was that part where I was listening to the new album in
my bedroom and my mother came in and started working on the
computer and it was really odd. The music was loud, the room
was dark and I was subtly trying to hide all of the little things
that I didn’t wish for her to see, rearranging furniture. “I bet this
is what you thought my room would look and sound like,” But
she didn’t really say anything, she was distracted. The new album
was insane... it had a really brilliant set of songs which I so wish
existed because it was some of the coolest music I’ve ever heard
in dreams, and it featured a guest appearance from CS, and the
lyrics from what I could decipher were so violent and the drum-
ming bf for super heavy at one point where it was really rumbling
my speakers and I had to turn it down a couple decibels. But it
was so dark and intense and unique and then it transitioned into
a unique pseudo post-punk song.
1935
The part where I was at church looking for my phone, because

everyone had their jackets, phones and music players confiscated
during church and I managed to hold on to most of mine. At the
end of the service I couldn’t find my phone so I wandered down
the halls looking in different rooms. I was going to check the
youth room but realized I no longer knew where that was since
everything had been switched around since I left. But I encoun-
tered these kids playing in the hall while I was walking around
getting lost. And I thought how come they haven’t aged... how
come no one around here is aging... they’re all locked in time and
immature forever. And I felt so sorry for the children.
I was eating those delicious strudels which were very bready and
filled with both jelly and cream. I ate two before the afternoon. I
was eating one each day. I was annoyed when my sister found out
we had them because there was only two left and I was hoping to
have one for breakfast tomorrow morning but I knew if she ate
one there would only be one left and my parents were likely to
eat that and it wouldn’t be fair of me to eat that one before them
since I ate two in a day. But I had eaten these for breakfast three
days straight.
There was that big flip out about Christianity while talking to my
mother and sister. My sister asked for prayer for something sim-
ple. Not anything serious, just like a “bless this meal” kinda sce-
nario. And I couldn’t take it any longer. So I was standing there
interrupting and making noises and comments just trying to ex-
press my disapproval for the evil inherent in what they are say-
ing and how this was unacceptable for them to be praising some-
thing that doesn’t exist for something that does.
THAT CHANGES EVERYTHING
I was on the couch with someone and I was kissing and touching
them whenever I got the chance. Sometimes they would pull
back and disallow it. Other times not. But it kept happening.
I kept sneaking kisses and a lot of the time she would be like
“Nooooooo”, but then she would let me, and I would kiss her,
and I recall viewing her body quite close-up, and I really wanted
her to kiss me on my lips.
At one point we were both kind of falling asleep together, her

arm around me, and I was all nestled in her chest and it was very
cute, but then I had to get up to use the bathroom. So I went
down the hall... almost going in the wrong room, going straight
when I should have gone left. And I remember standing in the
bathroom trying to piss and staring at the shelves wondering if
I’m awake ‘cause I knew I was dreaming but I was like is this to-
tally lucid and should I try to change the way this is going. And
I remember just staring intently at the things around the bath-
room while trying and failing to piss. When I heard my dad wake
up within the dream, since it was now early in the morning, I
gave up and went out to make sure the girl wasn’t exposed or
something weird. And she was asleep on the couch and I was like
dammit. Earlier on I was laying there with my head nestled in a
very cute way, within her arms. Then she woke up before long. I
think my music woke her up. My playlist had been playing while
we tried to fall asleep. Then I went away for a minute and came
back and she was awake again. I remember my phone going off
silently with texts from some guy which I wasn’t checking right
away. A weird funk song, like a supergroup, came on the stereo
and I apologized to the girl saying “sorry I know this ain’t morn-
ing music. Is there something you’d rather me put on?” So she
1937
hands me this slip of paper with something she’s written on it,

some raunchy R rated thing. And I clarified that I need a CD or
DVD and can’t do anything with this. Then she asked me to read
it. then I said I’ll read it in exchange for a kiss or kisses. And she
was like nooo. And I’m like why not. And she goes ‘cause I don’t
like you.
The whole mood changed and she noticed, as I became very dis-
heartened and my playfulness ceased. And I just started being
more normal and doing what was asked of me without fuss. She
asked me “What’s wrong? Did I hurt you? Are you really going
to stop just like that?” And I’m like “Yeah, that changes every-
thing. I’m not going to keep acting this way if I know that you
genuinely don’t like me. I thought you were just being playful. I
wouldn’t have been behaving in that way if I thought you were
being serious.” She seemed to feel bad about it. I was obviously
upset and trying not to cry, so I went and sat down and attempt-
ed to read her papers and then woke up. It seems like the trouble
would have been resolved somehow, but I ended up waking up
instead.
JAMISON
I remember being in a house while my dad was watching tele-
vision. Someone was talking about fishing in the local pond. I
think it was my dad? And how he didn’t know there were fish
there. And since we're going into details on that and meanwhile
I’m thinking about whether I would be able to handle that or not
without unethical feeling shitty because hurting the fish.Then
my dad is watching Fox News shit or something. And there’s
some story about Beyoncé getting shut down because she want-
ed to pray at an award ceremony. And my dad wanted to watch
it. And I’m like god no. He puts it on anyway and it’s drunk Be-
yoncé and she's just saying crazy things to her husband who was
that guy Ryan from the notebook. And they’re on stage at an
awards ceremony and he’s trying to get her to settle down. I think
she used the word pray once but it wasn’t a real part of what she
was saying. And this news story took that and twisted it into this
Christian angle. And I looked at my father and I’m like you got-
ta be joking. And then I also commented saying I didn’t know
those two were married before walking out. I think this was be-
fore what happened later. Which was during a fight with Asia
or someone I somehow ended up in a portal and my wish took
me into another person's house. Crawled into a hole while talk-
ing to family. Appeared in some other families' houses and got
their guns. And went into the bathroom setting up these huge
guns and knives in my holster. It was so freaky. I remember ap-
pearing in the cubby beneath a kitchen sink or something and a
black woman or someone is just staring at me and I’m this creepy
guy crouching underneath the sink. So I crept and ran away be-
fore they did anything. The first house I ended up in was the
place with the guns. I was in the bathroom. Or no. I was in this
1939
crazy crawlspace. Not a bathroom. How I even fit in there I don’t

know. But it was this weird room. And I was just so ready to kill.
Then I somehow got into a second house I believe, having used

the crawlspace portal again. This time I was with this red-headed
skinny guy who was hiding me. No one knows how this hap-
pened. He said: “My mothers coming. hide under the blanket,”
and I expected that I would have to hide all night until she went
to bed, after which I could leave. I kept shifting around because
I wasn’t perfectly hidden, and I was just trying to look asleep.
And I said “Tell her we’re friends. I’m your friend and I’m sleep-
ing over.” I was hiding under the sheets. We were discussing plans
for what to do if his mother came in. He would pretend I was
just a friend he was having over. I called out asking “Wait, what’s
my name?” Because I wanted to make sure we got our stories
straight. He didn’t hear me the first time. I asked again when
he came back. He said “I don’t know. What do you want me to
call you?” I said “James,” he goes “Okay.” But then he changed
his mind and said “How about a Jamison?” And I said, “That’s
fine.” Meanwhile, the door is open the whole time. And then
I’m thinking “Maybe Harrison...?” But I never said it out loud.
“Jamison” had simply made me think of it. And while I’m lost in
thought and thinking of names I hear him say “The goat got in,”
and I’m like “Whaaaat does that mean.” And I peak out of the
covers, looking to the left of the bed and a goat is just staring at
me. And I’m like “Oooooh my god.” I sit up and I’m so into it.
So excited. I look at the guy I’m with, I turn my head to the side
and elongate my jaw and then I begin tracing it with my finger as
if to excitedly show off the fact that my skeletal structures resem-
bles a goat, like I’m showing both the goat and the guy that I’m
one of them. Then I went to pet it. The goat hesitates at first and
takes a step back, but once I pet its head it likes it and comes clos-
er. And so I’m petting its face and it just looks like it's chewing,
all dead-eyed in the way that goats are. It was a brown and white
mix. Eventually it starts drooling this white drool that looks like
moisturizing lotion or soap from one of those soap dispensers
in public restrooms. And this whole time we can still hear the
mother outside.
At the very end I was laying in bed recapping the dream and
thinking I should probably just wake myself up so as to have the
best chances of remembering all these details. So I did a quick re-
cap before I shot up awake to write this all down.
CONFRONTATION
I was speaking to some girl online and she was posting parts to
a blender and mixer on Instagram for sale—very cheap. And I
was like damn I’m so tempted to get it even though I just got a
blender, because I like this one better, and I was debating it again
and again.
Then I went outside and encountered my father, who was being

super intrusive and mean and vile. So I went inside and com-
mented about it to my mother, and it was a few minutes later
that I found them talking to one another. They were on the step
conversing (there was a step in the house part way through the
living room, near the computer room... which is weird, because
I think I had forgotten all about that, but my dreaming brain
hadn’t). They just had this horrible look on their faces, as if to say
“Go away while the adults are speaking.” And I heard my mother
recounting a story I had told her in confidence about my feelings
towards my father. So I said to her, “I hate you right now. But
that’s a great necklace.” Then I paused and said. “That’s a really
cool necklace. But I hate you so much right now.” Then I clarified
that I had a necklace just like it. It was a black jewel with wings
that I once used to represent the Widowstone, even though the
real Widowstone was a beautiful amber color.
Then I returned to my room. After a few minutes, my father

came into my Pine Hill bedroom where I was keeping to myself
and he was towering over me and very close to my face acting
very sarcastic and rude. This is when I told him I would have him
killed.
I said “I’ll call my friends to kill you.”
1942
“What friends are those?”
“Itdepends on the friends. There are these three guys. And you
can tell just by the shape of their face that they’re bullies. And
they’ve definitely got their father’s guns. Something I never had,
unfortunately.”
He was getting really mad by now.
And then I was scrolling through something on my phone while

saying, “And I would tell you how I really feel, but then you’ll
just tell me that it’s not true. And you’ll silence me while telling
me that I am the emotionally immature and weak one who can’t
handle reality, but that isn’t me. It’s been you all along.”
Then I woke up.

HIDING
Very early on was something with this town square, and Scarlet
had been asked to wait somewhere and my mother was walking
around doing errands.
Those kids broke into my house after I made it out of the mall.
Forced into my room. Singing some weird song about cleanliness
and acting like a butler while someone from the next room was
asking me when I last slept with my wife and I was like
“Whaaaaaa?!” I went into the workroom to find the other boys
had trapped a mouse. I showed them away and they left my
house.
Mattresses stacked high in a room with dad and Asia.
Doorbell rang. There was a lady bug on the floor when I was
walking through the house.
I got lost while leaving Macy’s (or a similar department store).

The woman at the counter gave me helpful tips, describing how
to exit. She told me that at some point within the mall I would
see a statue which is staring in the direction of the exit, so I was
to follow the gaze.
At one point my mom was out in the front yard, which mostly
comprised a weird ditch, and Buffy followed her into that ditch.
Toward the very end of the dream a huge fight erupted when I
learned my father had taken Asia to Disney world three days in a
row and never invited me to come even once.
“What the fuck! What have you done for me!” I asked.
1944
He responded, “I built you a show space,” but he was speaking

about some silly shelf thing in my room where I could point a
camera, and I’m thinking ‘fuck that’. And as the fight continued
on my mother got involved.
AJAR
I cannot recall the early parts of the dream. In the final scene I
awoke in the passenger seat of a car which was parked at the end
of our Pine Hill drive way. I had been writing down philosophies
and I was awoken by a boom of thunder. A horrible lightning
storm was going on and I could hardly see a thing out the win-
dow due to the rain. I was watching the roadway thinking maybe
I should just sit here and hope that a car will slide off the main
road and hit my vehicle which is so near the road and that would
kill me, but after a few minutes I gave in and made a break for
the house. As I got to the door I pulled the keys out of my pock-
et and fumbled for the right key, not knowing if I found it, but
as I went to put the key in the door it opened, having been un-
locked and slightly ajar. My father was standing at the bottom of
the staircase across the room saying “Oh there you are” or some-
thing to that effect.
1946
THIRTY-SIX HOURS
I was thinking about an IG post to make but I didn’t know if I
wanted to be so personal. Then I came up into the kitchen where
there was a big wooden keyboard that connected to the upstairs
computer. I assumed my mother was asleep so I began typing
some weird thing letter by letter. Only to realize it was all com-
ing up on her PC which she was currently on (in another room
from where I was). W
The television was on, and I remember some episode of Full

House. One where Danny, Joey and Jesse were kids. It was a
flashback.
This is before I went down into the Londonberry basement and

told my mom I needed some groceries. I was mute though. So
she was going around trying to find things to add to the list if dad
was gonna be sent to the store. She was cranky at first and didn’t
seem to want to send him out but then thought of some things
that she could get from the store as well. Hotdogs and stuff. And
I was debating whether I wanted eggs. But she was getting all hy-
per after finding some webMD listing and I was annoyed at her
hypochondriac assumptions. Mom was jumping around talking
about some disease she heard about and convinced she has it. She
was behaving like a child and came over too close to me. I told
her to back up. Pointing at my mouth. Then she ran off to the
bathroom. She ran off onto the downstairs bathroom still talk-
ing. And that’s when I thought of the Ni thing.. thinking of how
my parents lack mature Ni. Then I was thinking how my parents
both have shitty (lacking) Introverted Intuition (Ni) and how
it’s bizarre that I have it so strong.
1947
Then in the final scene some show was on the television. It

showed only a bed and the mustache guy trying to convince me
that I had slept for thirty six hours, but it was a humor show so I
knew I couldn’t trust it. So I was like goddamn it. I'm just gonna
wake up for real so I can see how long I slept (only an hour).
RIFF CHAD NACHO
Earlier in this dream or in another dream there was that party at
my house and Patrick was alive and we were catching up. I recall
attempting to drink one of my mother’s alcoholic beverages but
it was almost empty and super strong.
When the dream started I was with Anita.
Before all of this happened I entered Anita's house but I couldn’t

come in as her guest. So I remember when her dad came by she
had to move on and told me to go hide or something. So all of
this was improvised. Since when I was looking for a place to hide
from her father I ran into her brother.
I snuck into Anita’s house and managed to become friends with

her brother by pretending to be different and then it no longer
seemed strange I was hanging around. Because people just
thought I was his friend. I told him my name was Joseph but I
don’t think he heard me. When he asked me what I’m into I said
“video games... skateboarding... sports but not all of them.” That
was the funniest part of the dream... the way I tacked on “but not
all of them” at the end. I was so obviously not a sports fan.
Then I brought a skateboard into the house into the kitchen and
we all looked at it. Funnily enough, it resembled an actual skate-
board I owned as a child, and I had completely forgotten all
about that thing until now: that tacky blue, generic skateboard
adorned with Chinese writing which I purchased from a Wal-
mart or something. In the dream it had words written on it: Riff
Chad Nacho. I believe this was how they were manufactured,
but I tried to spin it to where these words were given personal
significance. He pointed to “Riff ” and laughed and I said that
1949
used to be my nickname as a kid back when I started out playing

my guitar and would bring it with me everywhere. Then I said
that now I am Riff Chad Nacho, and he made some chip joke;
because I think I was eating all his chips, and obviously it has
to do with Nacho, but I acted like it had to do with Chad and
it was stupid but funny. But this whole time I’m sitting on the
kitchen floor with this guy I don’t know... while the whole family
has now moved into the next room over and is eating food and
watching television so they totally know I’m here at this point,
they just think I’m a friend of this guy... whose name I now for-
get.
EASTER EGG
At the very end of the dream I was on some cliff and a little girl
came up to tell me she’s planted an Easter egg and whoever gets
to it first wins. There was another guy too, and for some reason
my perspective switched to his which was even further away, so
what I had to do was come back and use his perception to help
the guy that I was so it was really confusing, as I still identified
as myself. So I was using his perceptions to view myself; my body
as it moved. But once I got the egg I didn’t open it up. I just re-
member a woman with broken English congratulating me.
This all developed from something with Jordan. A bunch of us

were all gathered around in the back of the Londonberry yard
and at one point Jordan was on my team but then he was in the
“stands”, the audience. And I was calling to him and he came
back and made a joke about a bucket of nude photographs and
candy and I have no idea what the hell he was talking about. All
of this soon seems to have transitioned into the egg hunt by the
girl.
I was with someone else I believe. Like a girl. At least at this mo-
ment. ‘Cause we’re trying to figure out if he was serious. Or said
we wish he was hahah.
Earlier I was in a gas station looking for food and everyone was
sleeping. It was a weird scenario. People were sleeping on the
floor and I was trying to look for my food without crinkling the
packages. Wish I remembered the reason for all of this. But I was
sleeping there too. And it was allowed. It was like pArt gas sta-
tion part hotel room.
1951
Then soon after I was in Londonberry backyard and some kind

of games were going on. And there were a decent number of peo-
ple lining the perimeter of the yard. Oh I remember now. I was
on a team with Hayden. And he had done something to sabotage
the other team, which seemed really out of character. And I re-
member its effects playing out. And I asked him if he was the one
who did it and he said yeah and had an explanation as if it was
allowed but I don’t think it was.
PEOPLE ARE UTILITIES
I was walking through the halls of a hospital. Wasn’t too much
like a real hospital. Looked more like a hotel. Darker and fur-
nished with red carpet. And I was walking kind of strange and
fast and I kept almost bumping into doctors, and each one that
passed was alarmed by me walking around. So they would always
ask if they could help me with something, and I said “no” or ig-
nored it every time. I was really upset some medical misinforma-
tion thing after an article I just read from a celebrity figure and I
was not okay with how influential people were denying very real
problems within our world and how the denialism was spread-
ing among the population. The person I was reading spouted
all these conspiracy theories and it really bothered me, talking
about how the people who were dying from some epidemic were
not really dying but were just plants and the whole thing was
some government scheme, and it really bothered me to hear him
speaking so irrationally because otherwise I found the actor in
question so likable and I didn’t understand how could people
could fall for and then perpetuate such irrational theories.
There was that part where I was with AB and the others and I
was scratching her back with my long nails and it was driving her
crazy because it felt so good. So she was squirming around and
shifting.
There was another part where I came inside from something and
my parents were standing there but I forget what was happening
There was something mathematical involved at one point. I was

really into something and it was highly mathematical.
1953
Okay I think at one point I dropped or threw something on the

ground in the kitchen while cleaning and my dad got really mad,
which triggered memories of me dropping change in the hotel...
meaning I thinking back to a time when I was walking through
the hospital and I discovered a hole in my pocket and change had
been falling out of my pocket along the way but I didn’t realize
it and then had to go back and collect it all but this was a recol-
lection I had later. His anger had to do with cleaning the floor.
He was watching TV in 222. I spilled or dropped something and
he made me clean it up and he didn’t like my cleaning job after I
tried to clean it, so I had him demonstrate what he meant, but in
doing so he cleaned it up for me.
Afterwards I went outside and was sitting on the 222 deck with
Asia but it was not normal Asia. It was like a different Asia that
was coming home to visit, and I called her out into the deck to
check out the gif animations in the sky over our neighbor’s prop-
erty. It was very hard to see from our house and even harder once
she came out, but there was a white arrow above the property
three houses down, to the left, and it was moving up and down
like an animation... cartoony. She came out carrying something
and set it down and she said how she was still settling in and
getting introduced to people. And so I picked up the Godzilla
doll on the nearby seat and said in a silly manner “Have you met
Godzilla?” She was behaving nicely though and didn’t feel like
modern Asia.
At the end, four of us were sitting around watching television.

Four of us as in... my dad, and two girls who were not imme-
diately related, although one of them may have represented my
sister. We were watching some television shows and the woman
on the screen made some comments comparing people to objects
and really weird, utilitarian ways, and I became visibly upset. The
utilitarian part came when four of us were watching a reality

show and one of the people spoke about how people are simply
utilities meant to be used by others and it got me so agitated, be-
cause I knew that many people pleasing individuals felt that way
and that it was no way to life or view the world. I was like “That’s
fuckin... ridiculous. We were not meant to be utilitarian objects.
We were not meant to be...” I forget what I said, but I kept going
on. The girls in the room nodded in agreement, but I got up and
walked out into a spare bedroom at the end of the hallway, or a
bathroom. I remember that I stuttered or paused a bit after say-
ing “fuckin” just because I realized I was in the company of my
family members.
OVER THE CLIFF
My dad and I had to run to Walmart for something. This shop-
ping trip was a big to-do. We planned it for a while. Or at least
I was getting ready for a while. I remember getting ready, and...
what were Asia and mom doing. They both had parts to play ear-
lier in the dream. I remember sitting in my bedroom for a while
but it felt like a hotel room and I found one of my teeth laying on
the bed blanket. I spent half of the dream simply getting ready to
go... especially when it came to picking out which hat to where.
Did I want the floppy hat or the shark hat or the fisherman’s hat?
I ultimately went with a floppy hat that I wear regularly. Then my
dad wanted the dog to come with us. On the way out, Gizmo did
this weird thing where he jumped and pushed off of my knee as
I walked down the steps so he got some air. I didn’t want him to
come along but my dad swore he wouldn’t be any problem and I
said “Don’t let him rush us because he’s barking in the car while
we’re in the store.”
I had also hurt my perineum quite badly before the car ride, and
so I was upset knowing I would now have to walk through the
store with this pain. It upset me greatly. And I had to use the
bathroom despite having just left the house, so I already hated
the fact that I would have to walk all the way down the strip to
the bathroom after entering the Walmart. I remember taking the
stairs slowly due to my pain, which is when Gizmo jumped off of
me.
I had an album I brought with me, but CKY’s Infiltrate. Destroy.

Rebuild. was already in the player, and it was cued up to track
four and so I just let that play, although it didn’t sound like “At-
tached at the Hip” in my dream. My dad immediately started
1956
mocking the music and I became very upset, like “oh no you’re
not gonna fucking start doing that.” Then he became indignant
after my response, considering it disrespectful, and began driving
recklessly to teach me a lesson, taking us down a mountainside/
cliff. And as we’re careening down a steep mountain side I’m beg-
ging him “please don’t do this. You may not wish to live but I’ve
been fighting for three decades to keep this life.” And he asks me
“What about it do you want to keep?” And I’m begging him. I
said my “My studies.” And he responds “Your schooling?” And
I said “No. My studies. The things I’ve sacrificed my life for. I
worked so long to achieve the insights I have and I must bring
them to the world before I go, no matter what it costs me.” And
he asks “What about your schooling?” Referring to my home-
schooling as a child, for some reason, and I said “That means
nothing to me. I learned nothing from you two whatsoever. It
got me to the next phase in life but barely.” And he seemed sad
and surprised that I didn’t value that time. Meanwhile we’re dri-
ving down this super bumpy cliff face and I’m begging him not
to kill us just because I “disrespected him” due to his response to
my musical tastes.
“My green kit is rearing up in this swimming pool”
I was repeating these words as I was waking up, although I don’t

recall why.
LOITERER
I walked into a gaming store within the mall, like Electronics
Boutique, and the person at the counter sighed when I walked
by, even though I wasn’t doing anything wrong. So I went up to
the counter and candidly asked why they sighed at my presence.
I was being courteous and quiet, though. They said I’m always in
here and never buy anything. And I said I am aware, but I’m here
mostly to escape an abusive home environment.
Then a candy bar commercial came on the overhead television.

Had a weird name and weirder campaign, and I went looking to
see if they stocked it, thinking that I could buy some to make up
for my lack of purchases. There were aisles of candy and snacks,
for some reason, and when I couldn’t find it they came over to
help me, but I never found it, because while looking for the can-
dy bar I came upon two attractive girls in the candy aisles and
upon seeing them I completely forgot about the candy and just
kept circling the aisles all coolly.
This soon, somehow, gave way to the part where we’re all in
my house watching Disney films and we were arguing about the
PlayStation and the Disneyfication of the Italian population. Af-
ter someone showed up attempting to win the “Italian costume
award” (?) and the award went to the red sparkly ones. I was lay-
ing down on the couch, for some reason leaning against my fa-
ther, while making faces at W from across the room, who was
sitting on his own little reclining chair. We were all watching a
movie, or that’s what we were supposed to be doing.
1958
INDUSTRIAL HAIRCUT
At the end I was getting my haircut by this weird goth-industrial
guy. I wasn’t even sitting in a chair at the time. He was sort
of holding me up, and we were standing in the center of the
room while a party was going on all around us. I tried to make
small talk, since I couldn’t figure out how I felt about him and
whether or not he was trustworthy. So I asked him what music
he liked. He tersely said “Skinny Puppy”. And I said “I could
have guessed.” He said he didn’t like ‘Darkman’, whoever/what-
ever that is. As we were discussing music, Asia came by and re-
minded me that mom had been waiting to meet with me about
something in another room and I told her it will have to wait.
We received a small rumble and then a warning. And then all of
us took off to the end of the room through a little doorway into
a smaller room. We all huddled together. This industrial guy was
so damn brave. He was big and he basically protected me, shield-
ing me with his body after running me to this other room. We
all expected these blasts, but whether they were earthquakes or
something else, we had no clue. And then it was huge. The whole
building felt like it had been hit with bombs and it was terrifying
and intense. Everyone was safe in the end, but I just remember
that, while the blasts were hitting, thinking “Only a few minutes
ago this was a rich and fine establishment. Now it is rubble like
all the rest”.”
At the end this guy who owned the place decided to take us out
onto the roof with a sort of “There’s something you should all
see...” attitude. And then he told us that every since this build-
ing was created, it was created in such a way that had these giant
colorful leeches, which we could see gathered on the side of the
building, and it was such a weird shot because we were high up
1959
in the air overlooking this drop into a cloudy oblivion. We were

in the sky, and these giant, colorful worm cartoony things were
all biting the side of the building. And the guy told us that each
protuberance on the side of the building represented a country.
And in order to create this building how we wanted it we need-
ed to shift around the countries. And this means that the worms
can’t access each one like they normally would, since some of
the countries are in a crease, inaccessible; and everyone was like
oh shit. It felt like the equivalent of saying we had built on an
Indian burial ground. I spoke up and asked which countries in
particular. He said Japan and maybe one other which I assumed
was Germany. But when he said Japan everyone was like “oh, of
course”, because I guess we were inside of a Japanese show and it
was being used to address their grudges.
This was the end of the dream. A lot happened previously. There
was that part not long before the haircut where I was in my
Charldon bedroom with a girl and we were creating this tunnel
at the end of the room where we would go and kiss, but then she
wanted me to stop because something about the design didn’t al-
low for it. She may have also been annoyed with me because I
messed up some of the design or was not taking something into
account. Yet I still wanted to go and kiss. So I remember that I
tried to kiss her in the tube and felt like something was interfer-
ing from the outside. There were many other people within my
bedroom at the time, as well, though I’m not sure who they were.
I guess these were all of the same people that later ended up at
the closing scene.
TIGER SHARKS
At the very end my father pointed to a building and said it’s not
actually there but it’s a reflection of this shack. We were standing
out in front of our house by the street or something. Which was
right next to us. And my mouth was agape.
Earlier I got kicked out because that friend I told him P.E. was a
Type Nine enneagram and he took what I said as insulting and
it made no sense so he was going to take me home. I was like
“Dude, what’s going on. I was just talking about psychological
tendencies,” and he responded “I don’t want to hear it. I’m tak-
ing you back.” And then we walked back while getting ready to
go and I was so upset and I passed by his mother and she didn’t
understand what was going on. She seemed confused, and I was
so upset to think that she would now be sitting there thinking
that I was the one who did something wrong, even though her
son was overreacting like a crazy person. But before we got in his
car I decided to disappear and get back at him, playing with his
mind, and so I went and climbed between these tents on the side
of the roadway and disappeared from his view. I climbed in be-
tween these tents for a while which seemed to be made out of
parachute-like material. Very colorful. And then I think I walked
off down to the Arena area for a while. Walking around different
stores. I think I met with someone there but don’t know. I was
there walking for a while, to the mall and target area. I think this
led to the dog ocean part somehow. First it was me on the boat
but I think my fear of the water was so great that I dissociated
and it became another character.
There was this huge blow-out involving my father and Christian-

ity and him abusing me in the name of God. I got so upset and
1961
went into my Pine Hill bedroom and ingested a bunch of pills.

Or maybe this is not when I took the pills. But there was a scene
where I was going through all of these little plastic containers
like the ones which divide by day of the week and just taking
every pill at once. Then At the very end I was in the pc room
in Pine Hill with my father and mother. And I had reached the
boiling point with my father’s cruelty. And I couldn’t handle his
existence anymore, and I just melted down and began screaming
“Crash your car!!! Crash your car!!! Die in a flaming wreck!!!
Nothing you do contributes positively to my life or to anyone’s
life!!
And my mother was sitting there interfering while I’m trying to

speak to him, making noises and trying to argue with me. So
I yell “Shut! The! Fuck! Up! You always interfere and prevent
what I’m saying from taking any effect because you feel the need
to counteract it and convince him that I don’t actually mean it!”
Then my father took me out into the next room and seemed to
be open to having an actual conversation, getting away from my
mother. So he sits on the couch in New Jersey and I’m standing
there in the living room. But I was crying and high off the pills
I just took and I saw no use in speaking everything I felt since I
was going to be dead soon anyway.
There was that scene at my house where six people were all hang-
ing from the gutters at the same time... in front of the house,
from the roof, because something gave out while they were clean-
ing the roof.
It was around this time that something was thrown away. What
was it... I threw away something which was taken by the trash
man and it was a sad experience for me.
Then there was that part where that man was out floating in the
center of the ocean on a raft or boat and a dog came drifting by.
The man helped the dog onto the raft, but the dog kept wanting
to play fetch, so the man would throw the ball into the water and
the dog would jump out and then swim to get it, then swim back.
And I’m like watching all of this as an observer thinking “This
is fucking risky. Just keep the dog on the raft/boat.” And then I
saw a slightly different view of the scene and I could see two tiger
sharks coming up close behind him. This was at the same time
that he was talking out loud about a time he encountered ham-
merhead sharks. So I was like oh noooo. And he ended up going
through this archway. Or a power plant looking thing. And hav-
ing to go through the sharks. It was a creepy situation but I think
it ended well.
That part where I walked into some type of gas station. And I
was there for a while doing something. And might not have been
wearing shoes. I think this was after leaving the horrible friend
who overreacted
BROMELAIN
Church. I remember people coming into the room. My sister
was among the people who entered. She climbed up onto the
bed above me. And I jumped up like a monster, exaggeratedly of
course. Saying “whoooooo’z ooooon mmyyy beeeed” and I went
to climb it, so that people knew it was my bunk. Since people
were wondering who slept there. I was just being silly and then
told them I had slept there a couple years in a row. I was sitting
in my bunk bed, or in the bed beneath mine, when that girl with
the scar around her eye came by and sat down next to me and
started talking and introducing herself. We were all doing some
exercise as a class but no one was really doing it. So I was glad she
came by and we talked for a few minutes. Told each other var-
ious details about one another. I remember being disappointed
to learn she was a Christian, but that’s kind of funny since all of
this technically took place in what was essentially a church camp
so my dream expectations weren’t in order. Me and the girl had
been delayed due to our talking and got a late start.
Later all of us left for church camp. I loaded up on all my herbs

and vitamins. I remember that girl and I being late. And so we
were like oh no. And we ran back to see if the seating for the trip
had been figured out. All the people were pretty much in the cars
at this point. There were two cars. I remember I was trying to see
who was in where. In the second car I walked under the car/axle
while it moved. Kinda weird. I remember Dan being in the first
car with his brothers.
At this point I went off in the woods to urinate. I urinated into a

bottle of bromelain capsules. And I was so upset when I realized
that I never removed the pills. Because I just bought these this
1964
morning. So bright neon yellow powder was overflowing out of

the bottle as I pissed.
After urinating I walked back about twenty or thirty feet but

then realized more people were here. So I went back to where I
left the urine bottle in a trash can to make sure it was concealed.
And then went back once more, walking along the route to the
camp beside what looked like a baseball field. At least that’s what
they were doing in the field. I remember passing by various peo-
ple I knew. Jeff. I passed him and he said hello and I was surprised
he did. When he did I just laughed in the way I usually did. And
stumbled a little bit on the beam I was walking on. Then JW
called out my name. Then a little further Tyler called out. They
were all actively playing baseball and I walked beside them. Tyler
called out “hey kori, wanna play?” And I’m like “nah man I can’t
handle the physical stuff. But sign me up for the mental sports!”
And he goes “you know I will!” And I go “you better!” It just
felt like some cool guy exchange of lines. And I remember this
attractive girl staring at me as I walked back to the dug out area,
kind of a dumbfounded look. Then I made it back to the truck
area where the trucks were parked. And sort of just sat down and
hung out there until I woke up. People were watching the game
from there so I sat with them.
Oh I remember something about starting to log in on my dad's

email account after I urinated to check something. But I couldn’t
figure out the username password combo. I was on my phone. I
think this was right as I was coming up to the baseball part.
A dream before all of this where I was in my Pine Hill yard walk-
ing around
Hanging out with my playset

TELEPORTER
At the start I was with W in an exercise room, getting ready to
go to the main place.
Earlier on in the dream I was with W and my father and we were

driving to the concert site through all these developments. And
then there was that scene where I was in someone’s house. Possi-
bly W’s with the work-out room. This was on the morning of the
concert so we were getting ready to leave and then walked out
that way. Then there was that guy later that felt like Kaleb who I
was talking to, in the house with the bananas?
Then I went driving through development and arrived at the ba-

nana building and saw all of these people I hadn’t seen in so long
who were happy to see me. I call it that because there were ba-
nanas everywhere and possibly some cans of pringles. The ba-
nanas were at different stages of freshness. From ripe to rotten.
And they were in bags everywhere. Apparently because I was al-
ways coming and going at this place and no one ever knew when
I would stay and for how long because my presence was errat-
ic and I couldn’t really control myself with the teleporting. So
I would come and ask for bananas but then disappear or fail to
show.
I show up in the house with chips and food all over the floor.
This was after I returned after a while. Nanny was commenting
about all the empty chip containers and I got annoyed. Then
that black guy asked me about something British and I told him
I watch more British tv than American and I started listing off
panel shows. And so then the place that I was at, which was
the concert place, got panel shows implemented. I thought they
wanted me on it but they picked a different cast of three guys.
1967
Possibly because I was distant at the time, hovering around the

bathroom, so I wasn’t there when they were choosing.
Staying for a while and chatting with people. Black guy ap-
proached me asking about English television shows. I went and
found him later on when I saw people were implementing my
panel show idea, thinking I would be in it, but I wasn’t. Spike
was, though. I watched from afar while walking to the restroom.
There was a toilet outside the restroom but I wouldn’t dare use
that (someone else was there by the time I left the stall, though).
So I went inside but it was creepy, dark and small and I could
barely see. Seeing just enough to know something was swimming
in the toilet and on the seat. And I tried to piss but I couldn’t.
Then I shined my phone light on the toilet and saw they were
not fish but creepy bugs. Then I left the stall, seeing someone on
the toilet outside. Then somehow I left this place while attempt-
ing to get back to the place from before and started teleporting.
It was around the time that I went to the bathroom that things
became problematic. Bugs on the toilet creeping me out.
I arrived within that development again later on at the end of

the dream when teleporting and attempting to retrace my steps,
but it was dark and I got lost. This was right before I teleported
to Chad and Willow’s home. I appeared in their kitchen and she
screamed immediately—not so much because it was me but just
that a person suddenly appeared in front of them and it star-
tled her. So I felt so bad, because I misjudged the teleport and
didn’t mean to appear right here. I apologized and then went
and walked around the perimeter of their house before wander-
ing through a dark, desert-like landscape.
Then I got lost in a landscape and teleported to the metal guys'

lawn. Then wandered until I found the cliffs of a canyon, where
I met those two kids (late teens? Early twenties?) I had showed
up on a ledge outside a store overlooking a canyon that was cov-
ered with stuff: a backpack, a VR headset, a USB drive, a water
bottle. And I was like oh shit it’s abandoned is this all free for
the taking. But then I saw them on the ground (in front of the
ledge) in front of me, and I was like is this yours, and they were
like yeah can you give it back. So I took minutes to do so while
holding friendly conversation with them. Thought we were cool.
Told them about the concert and invited them. But when they
left and I followed them they ran from me and I got sad.
Came back into the bookstore afterwards. Pet the cow and made
it sneeze. Then I saw that the exit I had just left from had been
boarded up and there were more people at the checkout counter
than before because previously the place seemed empty. So I felt
I was being watched by the desk people when going near the
door which leads to the canyon ledge where I had been previous-
ly. I wanted to go back out there and sit. But that door was now
blocked off. Then I saw someone go through the normal exit so I
followed them through it. It was night time now and I was lost.
I didn’t want to teleport again and make it worse so I considered
walking the streets at night in hopes I would make it back be-
fore the final day of the three day event, but I also was still trying
to work out cool teleport places until the very end. Rummaging
through my mind trying to think of all of the tricks and places I
could call upon to get me close. And when I left the bookstore
there was a stand to my left which had free books on it which had
been donated. And I heard someone talking about it. The dona-
tions. It was only three or four books and one of them had the
Mad Hatter from Alice and Wonderland on it, and I thought of
taking that and reading it as I walked through the night. Then I
ended up teleporting to some girl’s bedroom and it got sensual
real quick, but I wasn’t set on staying. And she was contorting in
strange ways, and I said “I like your waxy flexibility.” Like she was
having a breakdown and just holding these strange catatonic po-
sitions. It was like being with a poseable mannequin.
(This is all doubled I think ,
Came back out and got lost and had to teleport to different
places to return to where I was. But I kept teleporting to the
wrong places that I had been. Ended up at this hair metal guy’s
residence and I was worried because it was a nice property and I
was on his property and I think he was yelling at me. I also think
I took a wrong turn. Slightly too much to the left. Because that’s
when I ended up at the bookstore with the canyon ledge outside.
And as I looked out over the canyons I could hear the music and
see the stage in the distance but it was too far.
We had sat on the ledge and I was telling them about the concert.
Sixty dollars for three days. Lots of bands. Some black metal
band played while we were here and they were hilariously bad
from the sound of it. We laughed. The guy wants me to put
everything away in a specific way. Like inside a backpack. Instead
of just handing it to him. I had been on a ledge with that couple
and I gave them all of their stuff. Then I followed them as they
were walking off, thinking that we were all going to walk to the
concert site together, but they ran from me as if I was some bad
guy and I’m like what the fuck I thought we hit it off, we were
just chatting and laughing a few minutes ago.
Then when I came back in the bookstore after that couple ran
from me I was sad and a cow wandered up to me INSIDE the
bookstore. I pet it like a dog. It really really liked having its face
scratched and rubbed around the nose but then it began sneez-
ing.)
The best part of the dream—emotionally speaking—was when

I returned to the house with the bananas. It felt like home, and
all of those people were approaching me happy to see me. And I
looked great too. And I was behaving in a very charming, almost
flirty manner. Half of the dream was me trying to return to that
one place by teleporting to some nearby area but still being un-
able to pull it off.
CASHIER
I was taking a piss. Came out of the bathroom into the store
where I worked. Guy was browsing a wall of stuff, like toys and
video games. Felt like an old EB Games in the mall. I was going
to leave the store for half an hour and asked him to fill
I was at the cash register. Rubid was teaching me how to work

the job. Perhaps he was the manager. I checked this guy out but it
took so long ‘cause we got distracted. This guy wanted this army
thing by the counter and I told him it was a good choice ‘cause
it’s limited edition.
Later I was in that weird room with a couch and television, and
Asia was talking like she was five. Time was running out.
1972
CAVE TROLL
In the beginning I wasn’t talking at all. Words were coming out
sparsely. I was easing into speaking and it was scary for me, like
in reality. However, after stray words here and there (and only
when my parents were out of earshot) I started speaking full sen-
tences, before eventually speaking normally. Then we were inter-
acting on a bed or in a bedroom in Pine Hill looking at maga-
zines, old toys, video games and CDs.
Early in the dream I was with Isaac and we were raiding the
kitchen. We made some waffles and they were so good. And I
thought he finished them off but then I saw he picked up two
more boxes that were in the freezer because apparently he does
that when he finishes something off at someone’s house so I’m
like hell let’s have more waffles if we can.
Me and WT went to some festival with a predominantly black

audience. I went into the crowd for a couple minutes but it was
too much for me. I only went into the actual fest for a minute or
two but it was too much for me on the sensory level. So I went
back to the little lobby entryway passthrough between the park-
ing lot and the music festival. That’s when I started talking to
this black guy because I saw his rubber snake on the table and I
had one just like it. We talked and joked for a good five to ten
minutes but then it all went south when I made some comment
about a cave troll and he acted like I said something super offen-
sive and wouldn’t explain what I did wrong.
The whole reason the cave troll came up was because some fan-
tasy reference was made and me and the guy were both cracking
up. We were mocking the way that this building was set up. Like
he said something about a wizard in a castle or some ogre, as be-
1973
ing nearby a location so as to denote that a location was old/ar-

chaic. I guess he was referring to the place we were at and the
style, and how there is a wizard next door. So I was cracking up
and giving fake directions “fifteen miles from a cave troll” and he
just went completely silent, mood completely changed as if I of-
fended him, and he didn’t want to negotiate. And I’m like what
the fuck this guy was cool and we were having a good conversa-
tion.
As soon as I said that he got really bothered and I’m like what.
And I’m wishing he would tell me what I did wrong. And I kept
thinking in my head I’m clearly just ignorant so why does he hold
it against me. Then he left walking down the way I came. And I
couldn’t go there so I went walking down the trash path, where I
found all this trash dumped out. I found cool masks and I found
several headphones at the end of the path. And so I put on one
of the pairs and came back. Then I looked at masks. When a girl
came over and asked me to step out because this little path is be-
ing closed off. That’s when I carried both of my guitars down the
street and into the parking lot.
I was carrying them in an odd manner. The electric guitar was in

its case, but I carried the acoustic and its case separately for some
reason—all three at once. And I was really struggling with it. It
was wearing me out. I was becoming sluggish and eventually had
to set the instruments down and stretch, arching my back in a
very drawn out way.
And in that place when I was arching my back. The guy was like
“The FUCK you DOING to my car.” I was like “I’m arching
my back and it’s got nothing to do with your car.” And so I kept
walking and he, or maybe it was the fat person further down the
line, was like “I’m gonna write to where you work and have you
fired,” or something. And then I yelled out loud “it shouldn’t be
hard to write to me because I work at the POST OFFICE.” I
didn’t really but in my dream W did and I guess I was pretend-
ing to be W. Once I finally found W’s car, which is where I was
putting the stuff, I went back to get my other guitar or two be-
cause I had to put them down to find the car and when I came
back they were gone, stolen.
When walking back from the trunk and realizing my gear was
gone I saw clothes all over the ground, but they were sort of
balled up like yarn-shape, and they were being packed in a suit-
case. I see one of the shirt designs and I call out “who has a fuck-
ing holographic universe shirt?” It was the cover of a scar sym-
metry album—a shirt which I also have. At first I butchered the
word holographic but I corrected it the second time when I re-
peated myself. Then when I stood up/looked up (from a bent
down position) the guy nearby with long hair was smiling and
said it was him. Then I asked him where my guitars went. And he
was like they get stolen if left unattended. I immediately knew it
would be the guy whose car I leaned against. So the guy was like
“we can catch them come on.” But this was after he made note of
my lips not looking so great, as they were covered in film or dry
or something.
Then we take off running outside and down the sidewalk. And
now I’m in fight mode, if a bit reluctantly, knowing we’re about
to brawl.
Oh man I remember that kid on the sidewalk wanting to fight

by the looks of it and I was in fight mode it was weird. I remem-
ber wondering how much I could run. Meanwhile I was thinking
about something someone said about how this one guy is so at-
tractive and such a good runner but looks so bad when he runs
and I just kept thinking about that while I ran.
Everyone on the street that we pass is looking at me like they

want to fight me, and I’m sizing them up, and I’m running as
fast as I can but I’m getting work out, and I see these Olympic
runners running the opposite way as I approach a giant hill, so I
turn around and run up the thing backwards. Which is while I’m
thinking about the man who is unattractive when running. This
is where I woke up.
Why did I keep thinking of that “Evan’s Essence” joke through-

out my dream. It was so dumb but it came up several times.
THE TIMPANI AND THE
SNEEZE
Jeiezza was sitting on a recliner in a little area where others were
sitting. I went and laid my lead in her lap after I had gotten all
sweaty. And I was surprised she didn’t push me away. I was doing
it sort of to be silly and gross. But she just sort of let me be and it
made me surprisingly happy.
What caused me to get so sweaty? Was I dancing? Oh my god I

was rapping. That’s right, I was on the deck with Isaac and one
other guy, and I did this insane rap song out of nowhere and it
was so out of character that everyone was stunned to find that it
was actually good, since I don’t even listen to rap. And at first I
was just being silly but as I realized it didn’t sound bad it really
took shape and went on for minutes. Was this what caused me to
sweat? I don’t know. Maybe. Maybe Isaac and the other guy were
the others that went and sat on the couch area where Jeiezza was
sitting. That would make sense.
Then I got up to look at some news video about people freezing

as they were giving speeches. And I was talking with Poppop
about something and he was demonstrating something with a
rice cake on a chart or map by pressing down on the rice cake and
flattening it into the chart. And he said everything was fine un-
til I sneezed on his other rice cake. I said I didn’t do that today,
that was yesterday. And then he replayed it. Or re-enacted it, us-
ing a nearby timpani drum, and I’m like “I love seeing my sneeze
represented by a timpani.” He was being serious, but it was really
funny, and Jeiezza, who was sitting on the couch, was laughing
despite trying to hold it back.
1977
Poppop was explaining the cold front moving in. Because of

the way things were going. There was this coldness entering the
world for some reason. And we were talking about how some of
the old women politicians standing on a stage were vulnerable to
it. And some have died when the cold came about. It was some-
thing having to do with the ever shifting climate of our world.
Holy shit... what about that previous dream that I don’t seem to
have written down, where all of those cousins and relatives were
over in my house, and I was sitting on the trampoline by the Lon-
donberry basement near my mothers pc spot. My father went to
play a worship song he had written on my acoustic guitar, per-
forming it for all our relatives, and he strummed too hard and
the bridge completely caved in or broke, and I couldn’t take it. I
stood up and scolded the fuck out of him. And I remember my
hat came off. I didn’t realize it at the time. So people would now
know I had a tonsure and I felt silly afterwards. And I was just
scolding my father. I’m like “I was able to hold it in when you
did this and this, but you’ve gone too far now.” And then I was
like “Oh, and the lyrics in your song feature an inaccurate use of
pronominal adverbs. It sounds good, but it's wrong.” And then I
stormed out after correcting his adverbs.There was more to all of
that but that was like two dreams ago.
HIDING KNIVES
There was the part where I was talking to my father about my
desire to die. I was in the upstairs living room at Londonberry.
And I was talking about how I hid knives in his book (Bible?)
between pages where it spoke of helping people, as a message to
him of how miserable I was, and I told him about the different
knife placement and details, and told him I need help, and he
said “fine then I’m removing the locks from your door”, and I
said “that’s not the kind of help I’m asking for. I don’t need less
freedom and trust. I need more love and support” and he just
couldn’t understand my request.
Then mom was doing something weird. I took an elevator or

something to get down to where my room was and saw her roam-
ing the dark hallway and yelled something to her and she was all
bitter and cursing at me so I went in and tried to lock my room
from the inside so that she wouldn’t enter while I was going out
with my father driving or something. She was just being creepy
roaming the halls in the dark and slurring.
I was now in my bedroom (still Londonberry) and finding mini

CD’s all over my room. I went to my computer and logged into
an old forum that I used to frequent when I was thirteen and I
was making some random post of a video of my childhood, but
as I was writing the post I just kept feeling there was no point,
and I went and read the other posts on the site and it was all
a bunch of Christian Trumpist garbage and I’m like what am I
even doing here.
At the end of the dream I was sitting on the couch in the down-
stairs family room in Londonberry. I was sitting between two
girls. Jeiezza was on my left, and another girl was on my right.
1979
And I’m controlling the stereo knobs with my foot because I

couldn’t find the remote control, but I’m causing the couch to
rock. I’m flipping through the tracks on Myrrh is Mine and
showing them off to them but they all sound New Wavey to me
now.
There was something special about the girl. Like someone I really
wanted to impress. I don’t know what that means. But she was
simultaneously Jeiezza and not Jeiezza. Like I was between two
Jeiezzas but one of them was a celebrity or special. I don’t know. I
just wanted to impress her. After I tried to change the song knobs
with my foot. I couldn’t. But then she tried, and there was a lot
of silly physically contact happening
SAME NAME
At the end I was getting ready for some campaign to go out and
tell the world about some specific thing. I was talking to these
two guys, both of which had the same name. And one did some
action in the grocery store which enabled the other.
Something about Haley saying I’m one of the funniest people

she’s ever known and me coming back to the Pine Hill house and
putting Asia in a headlock as I told her about the weird cake I
found and ate at Nanny and Poppop. Then we pulled this other
old Disney cake out of the drawer or cabinet and went to see if
it was still edible even though it expired over a month and a half
ago.
That part where I was in my mothers old bedroom and I was

waiting for her to get out of the bathroom and there were a
bunch of models standing around in her room, and as the final
one was leaving I went over and introduced myself to her. Very
tall and brunette, and she didn’t seem interesting in staying at
first but I seemed to seduce her very quick
Island of the sun by Weezer was playing. No idea why since I

haven’t heard that song in so many years.
Oh, I remember that the Asia scene started when I was watching
television. And this Brazilian guy was performing on TV and he
had a huge afro that made no sense in terms of shape or gravi-
ty. And he had a little speech that he gave after his performance.
Where he first talked about some pencil or something and it's
worth to him. And then he thanked me... citing Tendon Levey as
his influence.
1981
Much earlier in the dream there was that part where Jamie and
Julie were over, and a party had taken place in our house... like a
Christmas party.
TRIPLE SUICIDE
I don’t really know the exact order of events because this dream
was laid out in a super strange manner where each dream felt like
a different one. So all of these felt like different dreams.
That outdoor church part where people were running around

outside and hiding. Running down paths. What more about the
church part? What was the shit at church though where every-
one was running around looking for hiding spots, and I was run-
ning down the hill into the woods with a lot of little kids run-
ning around while seeming to do the same. This might have led
into the forest scenes
And what were WT and I doing in that nighttime mountain

while walking around? We were by a go fire and had stumbled
upon something.So that part with WT and I on a mountain. He
died somehow, but it was a self-sacrifice; like he went off into this
thing to be boiled. And it was terrifying. He was burned alive
willingly by that woman who we met. We met some woman wan-
dering around in the night, and he knew her but I didn’t. Or
knew of her. He went down to this weird place in the hills, and
I watched from a distance because it was a weird set up I can’t
describe. Like some level from old sonic the hedgehog, although
I don’t know if that makes sense. He felt like KYHO here, and
he just burned alive. And I remember being really upset, but also
taking note of the timeline, as in how long after his body was set
on fire did he really notice and begin to scream, and how long af-
ter that did it take for him to stop, dying completely. It was a very
weird sci-fi creepy scene.
I was sitting beside Poppop at this public place, and he was

speaking super close to my ear. And I told him “You know I can
1983
hear you... otherwise you don’t need to be so close.” But then

when he moved away I actually struggled to hear him. And Nan-
ny was being really silly. And she came back to the table we were
sitting at which was like in a diner, and she had a little snack
pack. And I said to Poppop “So I guess we ordered the such and
such when we first sat down?” Since we were all waiting on food.
He ordered me an orange fanta, but it was weird because it got
poured into his glass. And then something else got poured in-
to mine. Yeah, his drink ended up poured into my glass. So I
just drank it while he drank something else. He was showing me
some records and photographs from the early 1900’s and I just
wasn’t interested because I didn’t know any of the historical peo-
ple he was showing me.
Someone then granted me the ability to see everything from a

different perspective, so instead of seeing folders filled with pa-
pers and other things I was seeing a better view of papers which
were more straight and head on, like a scanned image.
Oh, after being there with Nanny and Poppop I ended up in this
outdoor pen by the ocean because time got reset and I ended up
by those two hick guys who were trying to release three animals
on me. Dogs or deer.
Then a scene with my mother in the restaurant that I mostly for-

get. There was something about mom in that restaurant being
crazy.
At a later part my father was on the phone with mom, or he was

attempting to reach her but she wasn’t answering. He was franti-
cally searching for some gold necklace or something of that sort,
and I had that necklace in my possession but I wasn’t going to
tell him. And I went down to my bedroom and shut my door.
When he came by looking for it I acted like I had no idea what
he was talking about. He was asking me through the door but I

wouldn’t open up the door for him. Then he grew upset, unable
to find the necklace and my mother wasn’t picking up, so he set
down the phone on the top stair of my staircase and went into
the bathroom across the way. But as he walked away I could hear
my mother pick up and he couldn’t hear her, because the music
was too loud up there. So I went to tell him she answered. And
he just went back up into the bathroom on the 222 first floor and
overdosed and killed himself. He took a big hit from this vape.
And I realized right away what he was going to do. As I realized
what he was heading to do I tried to stop him, but it was too late.
I remember when my father walked away from my door and

stopped asking about the gold necklace I realized he might go to
kill himself, and at first I thought “Isn’t that what I really want?”
But then after a couple moments of thinking I went upstairs to
find him loading his cartridge in his hit. Meanwhile I’m telling
him frantically I have the necklace after all and lied and that
mom is on the phone. But he no longer cares, and he takes the
biggest rip and is coughing like crazy.
Then I went through this long drawn out sequence in some alter-
nate timeline where my brother was doing the same, and I got to
do the situation over again, this time stopping him from suicide.
And he looked like Steve from blues clues. And when I saw the
signs that he was suicidal I went and hugged him and gave him
the necklace he was looking for and we hugged and cried and he
didn’t kill himself.
We were in some kind of club when this happened, me and my

brother. These Hispanic people were nearby, and I was talking
about how big of a deal it was because the Hispanic population
was only now getting new wave and dark wave for the first time
which was why we were seeing this upsurge in dark wave and it
was super creative because that’s such a cool combo of styles...
Latin with dark wave. This segued into the suicide thing, because
he walked out asking something about new wave in the alternate
universe. And the second time around, after I came to value him,
I answered him as he was on his way out the door, listing two
countries, like France and another place, whose darkwave I pre-
ferred, and he smiled.
PARK
Handicapped guy came over to my house with others. Apparent-
ly I knew him when he was young, so I was being friendly and
playful, since he idolized me. Telling him I had videos of the first
time we met. I made him laugh and he responded with some-
thing weird like “Ah, you forced a fart out of me!” and I was
cracking up. My mom couldn’t understand what he said due to
the way that he spoke so I had to repeat it two times to her.
Kenny showed up. We hung out for a little bit. Then Kenny, my-
self and the handicapped guy decided to go pick up some snacks
from a gas station and sit at a local park since it was a nice day
out. I suggested it. It took me a while to get ready. I had to piss
and collect this huge wad of money from my bedroom along
with my CD briefcase. When I finally made it outside, I looked
for the guys. They were parked a little ways down the road so at
first I didn’t know that it was them. Then they said “We changed
our mind. We want to go to a party on this street,” and I was up-
set.
So we drove to the end of the street. I didn’t like these neighbors.

I didn’t want to go. Some shitty high school/college girls who
weren’t kind to me, standing in a group. I refused to stay. They
were too rude. Everyone had turned against me and it was
bizarre. We’re all standing in this little cul de sac at what was sup-
posed to be the very end of my neighborhood. I asked to borrow
a lighter for my cigarette. They wouldn’t lend me their lighter, so
Kenny reluctantly hands me his. I light up. Throw it back at him,
almost hitting the baby that one of them was holding. The girl
gasps angrily. I turn back and walk miles to return home, all the
1987
while singing a song about how I am a ‘Forever Keeper’ or some-

thing like that. I walked along busy highways.
MAD FATHER
My father was in the Pine Hill living room behaving erratically.
My mother had to subdue him with his video games. A neighbor
girl from down the street came over looking for food and what-
not. I allowed her to sneak into my room and I brought her food
in there and fed her. She was looking through all the figurines I
had laid out. I told her there was much more but the dolls and
figures were out with my father and he was being unstable. That
girl sang a really beautiful song on my acoustic but I don’t think
I listened to it until the second dream, when I reflected back on
it.
Later I was in another house where my father was still acting un-
stable, but now his mother was there as well. And at first I oblig-
ed her, but she tried to get me to fill out these in-depth records
about myself which were bizarre so I avoided it. I ran to my mom
and she helped me hide. Then I locked myself in my London-
berry bedroom, put on a huge green military coat because it was
cold and I was getting ready to climb out of the window and
wander the streets. Dad’s mom continued waiting through the
dream for me to come fill out the intrusive info. It was weird.
1989
PROVISO MANANA
In the early part I was in someone's apartment. My parents also
happened to be there, but there were others as well. My age I
think. I remember reactivating my Facebook account and acci-
dentally posting a song that I didn’t mean to post. Well, I meant
to, I just didn’t listen to it beforehand and went by description
and when I listened later it wasn’t what I expected, kinda coun-
tryish, so I was like shit, since it already got a like from some guy
in Roanoke. I deleted it. But the guy in the video was a guy that I
saw in a lot of kid’s movies growing up... was it the guy from Har-
riet the spy? I thought holy shit he looks just like W.
Then while scrolling through my feed I saw all of these photos

posted by this girl SM during a sleepover and they were so racy
and I was like whoa. Then I handed my phone over to the people
whose house I was at. I think the battery was dying but I was also
attempting to do something else with it, like transfer something
that wouldn’t be possible in reality. Then I went looking through
the fridge for a while, and my parents announced they were leav-
ing for their trip and they were going to stay at the Trump ho-
tel, and I told them to fuck off ‘cause they’re so fucking stupid,
and they were doing something really hypocritical in the process.
But I got so annoyed with them. Then I walked out suddenly and
went downstairs, not expecting that I was forgetting my phone
or that I would get lost later on.
Then in the lobby there was a lady with a dog. “Aw a cute dog!”
And I sounded like such a nice approachable guy. And then I was
like “Whoaaa four cute dogs!” And one of them had multi-col-
ored eyes, like one brown and one blue. I forget what she, the
owner, called them. Trichromatic? She was passing through the
1990
lobby when I was heading by. And she asked me to hold the door
because the dogs were all around the door and if I let go it would
hit them, so I was careful. Then my parents came down ‘cause
they were leaving on a trip so I passed the door duties to My fa-
ther and went upstairs
I was looking for the room I had been in earlier. And I was
singing this loud song, even the guitar parts *dugadugadug* and
then I would sing-shout the words “PROVISO MANANA!”
But I got lost looking for the right room, and ended up in this
weird Rec room with this young boy playing ping pong with
himself. And I was still singing as I passed through the room and
out the other side. This is when I ended up in Nanny and Pop-
pop’s place because I was lost. And Buffy was going crazy and I
was like whoa chill out. Nanny had some good method of calling
my phone and finding its location by putting two of her phones
together. Not sure it makes sense in reality. But we could hear the
room it was in through her phone. And the music playing. So we
knew it was right in the same room as before. So then I remem-
ber reading some factoid about how the hake iPhone is short for
Visa and I was like what the fuck that doesn’t make any sense.
Then I went to go around the apartment complex once more,

but I was like damn I need a cigarette. So then my song turned
into a cigarette song as I stepped outside. At the end I was like
“Damn, I need to smoke.” I made a little song out of it too but
I forget how I went. Something about nic fit and it rhymed. So
I stepped outside from the apartment complex and stood in the
courtyard entry area in the dark. Lit up a cigarette. Couldn’t get
my left hand through my coat which had these puffy sleeves with
the stretchy wrist parts like winter coats do. And I’m like dammit
my left hand has never been strong enough to really do anything
with. So I’m trying to push through and I can’t. Then my ciga-

rette slipped back too far in my mouth and it was a really un-
comfortable situation, beginning to gag me. But I couldn’t work
it out either with my mouth or hand so I just opted to wake up.
KIDNAPPING
Something had made me very suicidal and unstable and I ended
up taking a hostage. He was very erratic, so while I didn’t tie him
up I did keep my eye on him throughout the night.
Thought about drugging him but I didn’t know what I would

possibly use apart from ibuprofen or herbs. At one point he said
he was hungry and asked if we could get some food. And I said
“You mean like... food?” And I was like ugh I wish.
I watched him shifting all night and I was so stressed. I couldn’t

really take my eyes off him, lest he get up and disappear, since
we were in a dorm or something and there were others in our
hall. He kept squirming around. I was like what the fuck am I
doing. And when he woke up eventually I was sitting at the edge
of his bed waiting to speak to him. And I just hung my head,
so stressed. I started crying about how there’s never really been a
movie made about a guy who kidnaps a guy planning to kill him
but then just decided “ugh this is too much for me” and then
lets him go. I hated the fact that there was no precedent for what
I was doing so I felt weak, I suppose. Like, I couldn’t commit
to the plan. When I said this the guy was visibly hopeful even
though I hadn’t said anything about letting him go yet. And see-
ing him all excited prompted me to just say “Fine. Go. Be Free.”
Instead of him leaving, we both just went back to his room,

which had cool tree and jungle designs painted on the wall, and
we sort of just sat around. I played with the radio on his comput-
er, which was just playing post-grunge. And I was like “ugh it’s
like the same singer in every band...”, all of them having that ‘Ved-
der voice’, while flipping through the station. So we were just like
1993
hanging out in his room at the end asking where to go, thinking
maybe we ought to go get some food after all.
I was hoping he wouldn’t drink from the cup on his shelf, be-
cause I pissed in it when I kidnapped him the night before since
I didn’t want to risk running down the hall of the dorm to the
bathroom during this risky operation.
I remember thinking that I had taken him so that I could kill him
and that would make it easier for me to kill myself if knew I had
done something so horrible that would surely get me in trouble.
I feel that was the main motive behind this whole thing. I just
wanted to screw up my potential to continue existing so that I
could finally end myself, since I was so tired of living through all
my struggles and still finding a way to convince myself that there
was a hope or more to be experienced. I wanted to land myself in
a position from which there was no way out but death.
It was such a bizarre dream. Never had one like this before.
Pretty sure that there was stuff that went on before all these
scenes. I was at a gas station. A Sheetz. At night. In the city. And
there was another point where I was driving around in the dark.
Maybe we did go and get something to eat after all.
TEAM IN ARMOR
All of us people were in that one room. There was a group of us
sitting in this place that looked like the upstairs living room in
Londonberry sort of but not quite. At the end we were all crack-
ing up when I said that everyone had virtually the same body
type and dark features and most of the men even had mustach-
es. The big warrior people had just left the apartment. These peo-
ple who were padded up into these crazy black outfits. Some of
the coolest outfits I’ve ever seen. Like hockey samurai. And they
were gonna fight each other for sport in the parking lot or some-
thing. It was really intense, with them all standing and walking
around this little apartment. And when they left out the door
there was this “Now what?” feeling in the air.
What were we doing in there anyway?
Okay there was that part where I kissed that girl, and it didn’t go
so well and she pulled away and it just caused this uncomfortable
scene.
Oh and there was that part early on where Asia and I were on the
deck and there was this huge crate of cigarettes so we were like
awesome, because it was all menthol, but then we opened them
up to discover that they were like all gum, like nicotine gum.
Then we went down into my room and I remember going on a
lengthy political rant.
• A hallucination where some guy on stage just freaks out at the

mention of his wife: “I would be SWIMMING in her favorite
food... jams, jam and water.”
Someone brought her up in conversation and he made a noise and

he was like “Aggghhh if my wife was here I would be SWIMMING
1995
in her favorite food... jams, jam and water.” No clue what it was all
about.
GETTING READY
Getting ready for church. It was a Wednesday evening. I was
wearing an At the Drive-In shirt and listening to Rupert Hine on
the stereo. My hair was all permy. At the end I went to see these
ovals (???) who I hadn’t seen in a while. They had two daugh-
ters—one of whom was my friend in childhood. I hadn’t seen
them in a while, and when she saw me sitting there she was sur-
prised I had grown up.
1997
MOTHER’S FUNERAL
I was at church and there was going to be a service for my moth-
ers funeral. I was sitting with my family at first in the front row
but then when I saw Isaac and other old friends I went back
and made him move over to make room for me but it was tight
since he was at the end of the aisle. I remember staring at the
front pew where my family was, because my father had already
found another woman who was young, and they were all wearing
these tacky trendy clothes like outfit crinkly sports coats. And
it looked so strange in light of the funereal circumstances. I was
thinking for most of the service what to write about. I remember
the pastor speaking, and I remember wondering if people could
still tell that I was part of that family even if I moved my seating.
I also remember that I was still remembering some of my pre-
vious dreams in this time... other dreams I had tonight and had
just written out before this dream, and I recall learning that my
dreams had been taken and influenced these people and I was ex-
cited but then I found out that they were Christians so I was con-
fused why they would be influenced by my work and it made me
wonder if they knew who I was and how I felt about the evil of
Christianity.
1998
GASOLINE
I got into some huge issues with my father earlier in the dream
where I was in the kitchen and he was slowly depriving me of
everything, from my food to my television. Like every time I
would go into my room something would be unplugged and
missing. So one day I just snapped and I’m in the kitchen and
I started laughing and sort of transformed while talking about
how I’m going to deprive him this time. First I’m gonna deprive
him of his favorite things. Then I’m going to deprive a hole in
his chest. And I was saying all of this out loud. And I remember
my mother was busy doing something at the time, but when she
finally reacted to something that I said it was totally the wrong
one to be reacting to. Like not the violent one. Then I went out-
side on the deck and did something. I said “I’m gonna cover all
the tiki torches with gasoline!” And she didn’t care at all and
even seemed like “ehh go ahead” like she didn’t understand. So
I almost did it. I was just absolutely breaking down wanting to
destroy my father because of all he took from me slowly and for
no good reason. I was hungry, I was alone, I was without my fa-
vorite things, and every day something else would be gone and
he wouldn’t give them back.
My mother, Asia and I went to the theater. I was in charge of get-

ting tickets. It took a while. I remember while he was explaining
the tickets at the end I was standing a short distance away from
him because I had already started walking away when he began
explaining so I think he thought it was rude and then after about
a minute of talking at a distance he just sort of annoyedly called
me back. I’m referring to the Leo guy.
1999
I think I went to look for the bathroom around this point. Or

no...I thought of it within the context of something else that I
did. It came up.
In the theater, sitting in the very back row with my mother and
Nanny and Asia. Poppop and dad were coming too but they
weren’t there yet. I had four tickets given to me by Leo at the
desk, but they were like hotel cards in sleeves and all said differ-
ent things on them. He really didn’t seem to know what he was
doing and said “this one is actually for a concert performance
and not the movie, or that’s what others might say, but if they
try to do that then just tell them such and such” and he made it
really complex and not straightforward at all so I expected there
was a good chance my cards to get into the specific screening
wouldn’t work.
Then I walked down the halls and passed this Asian woman who
was playing drums with the band. I thought she resembled a per-
former I enjoy.
Then I looked for my family and saw them in the very back upper
row of the theater. Then I shuffled the cards in my hand making
sure to give the risky ones to my father and mother just in case
they got kicked out. Leaving me and Asia with the reliable cards.
The cards came with outfits too. So I remember the card I gave
Asia came with an old dress and she was like what the hell is this.
We were watching this movie, and the dress went with the movie,
and I remember one of us or maybe another person nearby was
like how did we never heard of this movie before when it is con-
sidered a classic.
Then we stayed for a while until I went to play in the arcade, and
I was crossing these jungles in a side scroller or leaping over pits,
but I kept dying and only had like 2 lives left.
Nanny wanted help with something and I misunderstood what

she was asking so I asked her to wait and she got bent out of
shape and I was really annoyed. I thought she wanted me to
come play another game but I’m like I’m already invested in this
one, but she wanted my help reaching something for her so that
she could play it. So when I said wait she got super bent out of
shape. I remember Poppop was also really close to where I was
standing and he wasn’t saying anything despite Nanny being so
agitated with me. He was just fiddling with some claw machine
inches away to my left.
UNDER THE TRAIN TRACKS
Aww man there was that part where burglars were breaking our
house, and there was a special room into which I was going to
hide. It was as above as Asia's room and I had to crawl into the
ceiling, and I was going to fend try ‘em off. I forget what that
turned into but it ended up not being as bad as we had anticipat-
ed. But we anticipated their coming for a while. This was one of
the earliest parts of the dream.
This led to me returning to my parents house to find LD in the

living room of Londonberry, upstairs. It was so weird. I was try-
ing not to be obnoxious. But I couldn’t help but mention that I
could play one of his albums on guitar in its entirety. We hung
out for like two days. Eventually we were sitting on a couch in
Pine Hill just talking and watching television and listening to
music. Part way through my mother offered me some herbs to
take and I did and it caused my mouth and lips to swell, like there
was a golf ball inside my lower lips... and it was so annoying and
bothersome and I was self conscious ‘cause I know he noticed
but no one was saying anything until I brought it up later when
explaining it. Most of the dream was us communicating and me
hogging him from my family. He was a lot like uncle Jamie.
That time I caught him listening to his own music on my iPod

and I laughed, as I left him with my iPod when I walked off to
the bathroom to check on my mouth and that’s what he played.
I saw another new album appear in their discography. A sound
track. And I was like “Oooh what’s this,” and he didn’t know. So
I asked “Is this just another thing that the guitarist did? The best
ones are where it’s a soundtrack but then you end up with a sur-
prise vocal appearance by you on one or two of the tracks.” Then
2002
I gave an example of an album with some songs I liked and he

seemed into that.
Then we went outside. It didn’t look like my yard or anywhere

familiar to me. Side of the road. I was standing by the roadside
with him asking if he had any merch on him. That was when
his face was super close to mine and I liked that it was a story
to tell but it began to feel awkward. I asked about merch. He
seemed like he was going to go across the street to his car. But
found these young men in the street who were selling braids and
other weird things and he ended up coming back with braids
in his hand looking all confused as to what he had gone over
there to do. And he mispronounced a word in a really weird way
that almost sounded like a racial slur so I just remember having a
“whoa” response, like damn that was close to being offensive. So
he had these hoodies that he would give me but it was the hood-
ie he mispronounced earlier.
This is when the train part happened. We were near train tracks,
a whole damn train station.
I had fallen off the train tracks while trying to do something.

That was when explaining that time I had a bad experience to
LD. Telling him I related to something he said, but that last time
I said that to kids at the local dollar theater had things ensued,
and then I I said oh wait no it was my fathers fault because he
forgot to pick me up and didn’t show up till an hour later, having
forgot about me
Somehow I fell onto the tracks and couldn’t get back up. No one
helped me. So I looked down the racks and saw a light approach-
ing so I was like “Ahhh, shit,” and I ran down the tracks until
finding anything I could climb over, and between the two tracks
was this cockpit like set up where the captain was supposed to
take a seat so I climbed into this seat that felt like a sled and I
just headed myself and then zoomed around the train tracks for
some reason
At the end of the dream I was stuck under the train tracks in
this weird wooden crawl space while this intense orchestral mu-
sic played which sounded like a train at first. I couldn’t really
move so I thought I guess I’ll just lay here in this crawl space be-
neath the railroad until I wake up while thinking about all of the
old tablature that I knew when I was younger. Then I woke up.
CHAT AND CHASE
I had asked my dad to fix something on my hard drive, and so I
granted him access to my computer and left him to it, but when
I came back in the room all these chat windows were up where
it showed my dad chatting with girls I used to know, and there
was once screen that was just like a bunch of pics of girls. I could
also discern from the chat that Annie had gotten married, seem-
ingly to some woman. Her last name was changed to something
beginning with an L, and when I saw all of the open chat win-
dows I was like “What the fuck is going on? This isn’t necessary.
This is bizarre.” So I stormed back and confronted him, and he
didn’t like it. So we had this huge blowout in front of mom and
Asia, and a race ensued when he went running out of the room
and down the hall and I knew he was going to delete years worth
of my work just to delete the evidence of what he did, and surely
I couldn’t have that.
I raced my father down the hallway because I knew he was about

to delete the stuff on my hard drive. We were racing through
those weird; surreal hallways in this public place over those
strange stairs when he took a shortcut by leaping over, but I
couldn’t do that. When I got to him he was wielding some king
staff weapon and I had my giant fork and audio clips from my
past were playing. He punched me in the scalenes, or that little
triangular ditch between the shoulder blade and neck. So I be-
gan beating him in the neck. It almost knocked him dead. He
looked like Kenny at this point—not like my dad. I’m like “We
can’t keep this up. One of these blows could end our lives. We
both have things that we need to accept. I need to accept that
not everything is perfect, and you need to accept that you make
2005
mistakes and then own up to them. I didn’t understand what I

saw earlier, and I wanted to know. It looked bad. I felt betrayed.”
COUNTRYSIDE CULT
We were at our Pine Hill home and there was a lengthy scene in-
volving an animal, likely a dog. The dog seemed particularly large
and we all had to look out for it. It was just running around like
crazy. I forget the exact circumstances but it was difficult to do
what we had to do.
In the next scene I was with Asia. I had gone back in time and
got her opinion on her husband before she got married and I got
all of these ideas of hers on record, about how she would nev-
er leave, and how we would be close forever, and how she would
never consider dating someone like the boy who, I knew, she
would eventually marry. And it was just a really sad experience. I
was there for her one last time, helping her out with chores at her
house one last time. She was making potatoes or something. We
were just standing around talking. I remember looking through
the cereal cabinet. There were Corn Pops and other cereals. I was
just asking her what she was looking for and it was very sad to me
because I knew how things ended up, and I was letting her know
all my opinions even though I knew it was futile. I was like “You
have to see this from our perspective. Since these guys have come
into your life, you have done nothing but go down and down and
there has been no growth. No positives. No success. The thought
of you being with any of these people in the long term is scary to
anyone who truly cares about you.”
Later I was in the store with Annie. It was a Middle Eastern con-
venience store. The person who owned the store came by and
showed me these items on the top shelf. They were mirrors that
looked like the Hamsa hand. I was surprised they were only $25,
2007
but I could tell that they were having a hard time selling them so
I was wary.
Then I went down an aisle that became more and more narrow
due to all the bags of snacks and chips which were crowding and
collapsing and eventually I couldn’t get through at all. Annie got
buried under the snacks so I had to help her out. Then we went
and laid down and fondled on the floor between the snacks and
the pharmacy, which we thought was okay, since it was sort of
hidden, but later we heard someone on loudspeaker listing off
the rules of the building and we were breaking them with what
we were doing, so we quickly got back up and composed our-
selves. This was shortly before something happened to her and
she was taken away to this strange rural island. I don’t know how
else to describe it. Like some European countryside where all of
these cult members had captured her and were either going to
sacrifice her or change her. And I ran to get to her. I remember
seeing a person slumped on the ground and I thought it was her,
but it was something else. Then I looked over the cliff and down
the hill and saw them all with her, standing in the distance. She
was all the way down there, so I had to run down the hill. But
fleets, phalanxes, of cult members came out with arrows and oth-
er weapons whenever I got near, so I needed guns. I failed the
first time through and sort of respawned back at the mall. Then
I spent the rest of the dream attempting to get a gun. Searching
through my car. Searching other people’s cars.
I had to save Annie or someone from members of this cult who

had brought her to this field that I accessed through some store.
I went once before, but I was unable to hold them back, so I had
to go try again after collecting a gun, but I couldn’t find any am-
mo on my person. It was like a video game in that I couldn’t just
buy a gun but had to find specific guns in specific levels, like the
machine gun was in the ‘anus of the earth’ which was some weird
underwater region between two islands and I totally wasn’t able
to go and get it.
I remember being in some guy's house later on, and we talked,

and on the way out he turned on metal music and we left his
house. But then I needed to ask him a favor and tried to get an-
other friend, who looked like Patrick, to ask on my behalf, and
he was angry or uncomfortable with me for having to ask, and I
remember him going back into the house and standing there all
nervously, but it really wasn’t an issue. I think he was asking for
ammo.
MS. JIMBLOW
Asia and I were discussing plans to get up early in the morning.
There was that weird classroom. My father was going out with
that woman named Ms. Jimblow. Those giant footballers who
came out and spoke to us. Then the woman answered the text
message as Mrs. Krinkle Two. She was the pastor’s wife. I don’t
think this really happened though
That gigantic footballer came out because my father was voting

for the other guy, the opponent of the guy who he was talking to,
and he stood next to me menacingly
2010
SPIDER CONTROLLER
I was in the basement cleaning, and there were these spiders on
the ceiling with huge red bodies. Or there was one anyway. It
wasn’t that big honestly. Looked like a daddy Longlegs, but I
tried to clean the ceiling and tried to kill the spider in one fell
swoop but what happened is the spider ended up waking and
causing problems for me. It somehow took hold of my Aladdin
and jasmine cardboard cut out which now was headless and it
started controlling it, moving it, and it freaked me out. So I pret-
ty much had to fight it off. And I disposed of it outside. I had to
get rid of the whole thing now even though I didn’t want to. Just
because the spider. Then I called my father down to help with
any other spider. Because I couldn’t deal with that.
2011
NAME CHANGE
I had recently got my name changed, and when the black guy in-
troduced himself to me (as I was sitting in the computer room)
I forgot what my name was. It was a very confusing moment and
they were laughing, but then I said I have many names and I only
recently changed to a new one and my mom was there to vouch
for me. I was at nanny and poppops house with my whole family.
Earlier I was playing with Scarlet in the snow. She kept slipping
out of her snow clothes. Before that I was sitting on the deck. Be-
fore that I was in the house talking to Poppop about music and
listening to some CD. Before that I was outside on the deck with
Nanny.
At the end I had gone down these massive set of steps to this bot-
tom floor where a play was taking place. I had to crash it since
the stairs were behind the stage and I came out and everyone got
annoyed. Then sister or someone representative of her, looking
like a very young child, was brought out to watch the show for
her birthday, but it was some.
This was after I went down those very very huge flight of stairs
into the lower floor of Kohls or something, which was after I en-
countered that guy in the hallway while searching for the right
elevator to take. I was amid asking hmm which one takes me
down since there were two sets that appeared almost identical.
As he was explaining this to me, some guy approached him and
asked him for something quick. Sort of challenged him and I
heard him mention the number 38 which was how I knew to get
out of there since I knew that that implied be heading. So if he
lost the challenge he would be beheaded. So I went through the
2012
door as quickly as I could. It wasn’t an elevator but a huge stair-

case that would take me down quicker than normal.
Before this I was in an aisle at Target which looked like it was

in the toy section but there were food shelves and I was looking
through the donuts. At first I saw powdered donuts and was
looking for chocolates. Then I saw the mini chocolate donuts.
But then I saw the large ones and I took the container containing
them. Which is when I walked out into the hall ready to go back.
This is after I went up that tall structure in the political theater.

After someone else got in trouble for jumping out or doing
something during the performance/play, so I tried to avoid trou-
ble or detection by climbing these stairs in the back of the theater
and going up this tall structure, which led me to the elevators,
which led me to the target, then all the stuff I previously de-
scribed.
And throughout all of this I was still trying to remember my new

name, which started with B and was a psychological term but no
matter how many lists I consulted I never saw it. I remember see-
ing the name ‘Biden’ and laughing.
I remember that part at Nanny and Poppop’s before I went and

sat on the computer, my mom had made some comment about
some old war icon and I defended him, enlightening them as
to the misinformation campaigns which had been undertaken
against him.
Much much earlier in the dream I was at my Pine Hill home go-
ing between my bedroom and living room, by the step area near
the PC room, and I was talking to Asia late at night about some
new books I got and I was recommending them to her, some
weird historical romantic drama.
MISSING PAGES
I was in my Pine Hill bedroom speaking to my parents. We were
sitting in a weird corner of the room, under where the bed would
have been, and another guy was with us. I remember saying “I
don’t want much. I just want to breathe again,” and I pointed to
my nose, which was stuffed up. The guy and I then went and did
something weird and we went outside and paraded in front of
windows and caused a spectacle. Then I got a huge afro wig and
wore it around and everyone went nuts over it. Then we went in-
to a hallway, flew down this gray hallway and around the corner
which is where we met up with Asia and SI.
Earlier we were all browsing Target, looking for figurines. I re-

member going down the stairs and we were encountering all
of these little candies. Some were smooth. And I really wanted
them, but I was snatching them before she could reach them, be-
cause I was being mean. So she started singing, and she had a
beautiful voice. So I’m like “Keep singing and I’ll give them to
you.” So I did that, and I kept giving her the candy because she
kept singing while we were searching. Then we found little toys
or a little pin depicting a wolf, and I was gonna give it all to her
but I was like “I want this,” and I kept the tiny wolf pin myself.
She asked what it’s from, because it looked like it belonged to an
old-time cartoon, and I responded saying “I don’t know.” It was
very small. Then we went down into the lower level of the store.
There were aisles of figures and other tiny things that she liked.
And I’m saying we should have come here first because this was
exactly the stuff she wanted. So we looked for a while. They had
the series we were looking for but they didn’t have the specific
ones in stock I wanted. Then we went and sat at a bench. There
was an aerosol like Lysol and it was already opened and I used
2014
it without any intention of buying it... just cleaning something

quickly before setting it back down inconspicuously.
Then I asked if we should go to the other Target 15 miles away

and see if they have what we’re looking for since this store didn’t.
Everyone had different opinions. Asia had only driven that far
once before, or so she claimed. So we’re all debating. That’s when
I pulled out this book and we started looking through it. I think
it was just a random book found nearby, but it felt like a journal
and had all of these personal stories and anecdotes and pho-
tographs. After we got to the end and made some comments,
that blonde lady showed up as if from thin air, all creepy and ac-
cusatory. So basically all of this was some kinda test that we all
unwittingly entered into.
I had found this little book and I was browsing it, and there were
meta jokes within the book about whether I really found it or
if I was lying. So while all of this was happening a creepy lady
with white and blonde hair comes up, her head close to mine,
and is peering over my shoulder. So I tell her what we’re doing.
And she says she suspects that I’m lying about it. So she favors
the side that believes I found this and did this intentionally. And
I said “Unless I got retrograde amnesia then no, because I defi-
nitely didn’t.”
Then when she walked away I opened the book back up. We
quickly noticed something wasn’t right. There were pages miss-
ing. The book was thinner. We could tell right away. So everyone
at the table was saying “What the hell...?” And I turned the page
with bated breath, not knowing what would be missing. Then
when we reached it I saw that everything after the sixth page was
torn out, whereas there were previously around ten pages in to-
tal, and we all freaked out, realizing that something scary just
happened and it had to have been the woman. Suddenly, then,

this ghostly force takes me and Asia and lays us on our backs in a
quick and disorienting motion. Meanwhile, I can hear the other
two girls screaming. Then the sound of a chainsaw starts up, and
it’s just roaring and roaring but not moving, and I knew that the
other girls held our fate in their hands. They had to do something
super quick, figure out a riddle, or else Asia and I would be de-
capitated. I didn’t have much faith in the girls. They were scream-
ing hysterically and too nervous due to what was happening. So
it was terrifying. I could feel a chainsaw hovering over me but I
couldn’t see anything due to the ambience of the room and the
position that I was in, and I hated not knowing how long we had
until it came down. Then I just began imagining what it would
feel like on my neck and I figured it wasn’t worth waiting out and
I woke myself up.
EEEEH
I had three rooms in this building, and each room had a pair of
birds in them, in a cage. But I don’t think I ever gave them food
or water. Each room also had media shelves. I remember at the
end looking in the dragon ball box and noticing it as a bootleg
and being like dammit.
I went around the house for a while talking to different people.

But who was I with most of the time and showing this off to?
Another one of my bedrooms was across from a bathroom,

which is why it was chosen. Two of the bedrooms were in one
area. I think I even had more, because I referred to this collection
as one of the only ones in the house with its own shelf. Rather
than just a section of wall.
Before all of this I was at that fair, walking around, and there was
that short girl who wanted me to pick her up. At the fair I was
wandering around and there was that part where I had to spit
and I had a mouth full of food and the old Asian woman feared
I was choking and I’m trying to tell her I’m fine. I just needed a
place to spit out what was in my mouth. And then there was this
thing about this old Japanese man who was apparently saying re-
ally mean things about people but no one could tell because we
didn’t speak Japanese.
The spit part came immediately after there was this girl who I
was talking to and she wanted me to pick her up and she was so
cute and short. She said something about how to pick her up,
and I said no I have to be more careful than that because of my
hernia, and she’s like “Oooh, if that’s an issue then you needn’t
worry about it in this case.” But I still had to be cautious. Then
2017
the spitting and Japanese part happened. My party split up into

two. Me and the girl and one or two other people while one of
the guys we came with went with the old Japanese man to have a
word with him. We then all walked around for a little bit.
Oh and before that me and dad drove back down a New Jersey
street or something like it. It was a really broken down trailer
street and he asked me what I thought about it and I was like
I don’t mind the trees and whatnot if it wasn’t so slummy. And
then on the way out there was a girl with a lighter who was hold-
ing it out in my way so I took my lighter and lit mine and com-
bined my flame with hers and I think it surprised her a little, like
got her going, hahaha. This is right before the fair.
Oh, before all of this Asia and I had broken into this church
where someone was performing and we were idling through his
stuff which was being stored down the hall while I performed. I
kept trying to get her to leave before he finished but she was try-
ing to go more and more. And so I told her to make sure we put
the papers back in order (he had brought a bunch of files). But
the paper on the top got all wet so that was not good. This was
the beginning scene or close to it. I think there was another scene
with Asia before or after this.
I feel like there was a part in all of this at the very beginning
where there was some form of intimacy which occurred at the
very start of the dream. I think that’s usually the case, since I fall
asleep thinking about such things.
This whole recount is backwards. Make of that what you will.

DOWN THE SOUL SLIDE
There was that part where I was in the utility room, and the de-
tails are pretty fuzzy at this point, but my mom caused a huge
scene and was threatening me and I was going to leave and walk
out but then I found this opened can of soda sitting on the work
desk and I drank it and then I went out and played some kind of
jack box game with everyone. Though I remember nanny being
kind of stumped as to how to play and I had to keep showing her,
annoyingly.
We were all about to go on a trip—my family and I. Or we al-

ready were. But it was time to return home. I was changing my
shirt every few minutes, and pants. Previously I wore that ripped
up shirt, which I didn’t realize how ripped up it was when I first
put it on. Then the pants that I put on next were too tight and
needed to be changed immediately
There was that part where I was staying up late at night while
everyone else was asleep. I was on the computer. This was before
the V’s house? Or during?
My family had come to the V’s house. My parents were eating

dinner with them for a while or something while Asia and I went
and played and amused ourselves around the house for a while.
So that’s why I was changing clothes, to seem cool to their older
sons perhaps, who were older than I, but that’s only because I was
like a kid in this dream.
While at the V’s house I was afraid to take any of their food or
stuff so I was going into my mom’s purse and pulling out these
baggies of Raisinets even though I specifically recall her saying
something earlier about how something wasn’t right about them,
2019
but I wasn’t sure what she meant by that. And I ate them de-
spite them seeming a little soft or even soggy. This was shortly
before going outside to smoke. And it’s funny because when go-
ing out to smoke I was originally thinking that maybe I’ll get a
pack of cigarettes after my family leaves and goes to stay at a ho-
tel on the way back, and just relax, since I hadn’t had a cigarette
in years, but somehow I suddenly had some on me and then sat
here smoking.
I was outside and got yelled at in the middle of the night by JV

who called me an idiot while I was outside smoking cigarettes,
because he kept telling me which side of the yard to smoke on.
“Not not over there. No, not by our rich neighbors.”
He’s just sitting there in his boxer shorts making me feel horrible
and calling me an idiot. I had snuck out in the middle of the
night to smoke.l a cigarette, but it was either loud or tripped
something so he had to come down, and the door was weighted
and so it would close behind me if I didn’t stick some kinda stop-
per I the door, so what I did was I stuck my finger in the door so
that it wouldn’t close, and he saw my finger in the door.
On my way back to the V house I had been smoking a cigarette

out on this boardwalk type weird thing. And on my way back I
was being met with all manner of inconvenience and misfortune.
Giant dogs running at me and jumping on me. Two annoying
guys blocking me and then just standing there. It was very ob-
noxious and everyone was just bullying me. Then I finally made
it through to the end and couldn’t figure out how to get back
otherwise so I just took the soul slide. Since there were different
slides in different places and the soul slide was here, and near-
by the slide there was a young black couple arguing. I screamed
while going down not because it was scary but in an effort to get
everyone’s attention.
Going down the soul slide after saying “Thiiis is theee catalyst!!!”
because people were talking about how Soul has stagnated and
nobody goes down that slide anymore. But I needed to use it
to get back to the house where I came from so that I could go
back home with my family after a long night of staying at the V’s
house.
That slide was really freaky and longer than I thought it would
be. Half way down I started shrieking just for the fun of it but
it came out all weird like a remix and my voice got all the word
and broken up sounding and then by the time I landed on the
ground, I was in a different place at day time, and it wasn’t really
even me at all, but this guy walking around the area, collecting
sides of a Rubiks cube that could be used to help people.
The whole reason I was even willingly at the V’s house was to col-
lect artwork for some Rubiks cube that could be used by people
who were in trouble. And earlier on I was figuring out the differ-
ent sides that would be on it and the different designs. Difficult
to describe.
At the end it was Mary’s turn after that guy had just had the kid
show up at his fast food restaurant twice. So now they’re stand-
ing in a school and he goes “okay it’s your turn Mary” and she
asks them to sing. And they all go “O’ come all ye faithful!” and
then she nervously and smilingly sticks up her thumbs and goes
“Joyful and triumphant!” and then there was like a puzzled look
in the air. But I guess what would be won from this is a puzzle
block like a Rubiks cube that was given to people and it was to
help them in trouble.
I just hallucinated two Hindu gods standing there and I heard a

feeble voice say “Hey Krishna.”
BLUE APPLES
I had these blue I apples and I was chatting online when Doug
said he wanted to come over. I had just got home and I was ex-
tremely tired from not sleeping the night before and so I want-
ed to get right to bed but I told him okay. And then I went and
wrote him a message on the broadside of a skateboard saying
“I’ve got a blue apple for you to try if you want.” But it took
me so long to write the word ‘blue’ because something that kept
popping up whenever I did, like search results.
Then I sat around wanting to go to sleep, but feeling obligated to

wait for Doug. And I thought this is not only the worst time but
the worst person to do this with.
My mother was still up and she was talking to me. It felt like the
middle of the night although it was only 7:48 ish.
2023
VAN IN THE DESERT
Some part about Florentin, earlier on. We were walking around
in the Londonberry area. Lots of walking.
There was that part where I was in that arts and crafts store and
I met up with that girl. She was busy so she kept coming and
going. That’s when I ran into Nanny and Poppop. We weren’t
speaking. Poppop saw me in the lobby as I was gyrating, then
Nanny saw me and waved from afar. I ignored them. Then uncle
Jamie came in and he was drunk and he was talking to me and
getting up soooo close to my face and talking about how he’s
gonna be here for three more weeks and I calculated it, figuring
that would take him until January 10th. Then we walked out to-
gether and someone left their McDonald’s burger unattended on
one of the tables and so he snatched it and ate it and I couldn’t
believe he did that but I was laughing.
Then we were riding in some van and he became some generic

rock star. We were leaping out of the van when it was passing
through the desert. I was trying to follow him out of a van into
a desert but something went wrong and when I opened the van
door some hippy girl, like a protestor, was standing there in the
way, and I ended up staying with them. This is how I ended up in
their car later. Meanwhile, Uncle Jamie took off drunk into the
desert.
Next thing I know I’m riding in a car with these two girls. We’re
listening to 80’s Darkwave music and I’m talking about how the
80’s was the best decade of music. And then I asked what year it
is and they said ‘99. Somehow I was back in time. I was riding in
the backseat of that car with that girl with the hook nose. I sort
of scooped her up and was holding her. It was 1999. I asked what
2024
year it was and she said that and I’m like really? Ohhhh. A girl
driving. A girl in the backseat with me. I had a crush on them
both but I guess the backseat one asked me out first
My friend was going to sleep early and I still had two hours in my
day left so I was sitting on the couch with my music set up and
was probably going to masturbate. This was the very end.
I remember looking online at those accounts and getting a

glimpse of what people outside of America thought of our laws
and ideas. There were people with these anti-American signs that
were opposing Obama’s rules and Bush’s rules. And there were
signs out front that said they don’t agree with such and such.
These signs were in Norway. I saw images on a website right near
the end of my dream while my friend was falling asleep earlier,
who I think was Florentin.
When I woke up I had the line from Starve the Doll in my head,
but the lyrics had been changed to: “You and me stay away from
entropy,” sung to the tune of “You, you make me so complete.”
FLASHBACKS
Asia and I were sitting on the couch in our Pine Hill home talk-
ing about X-Files or some show which we tried to watch with
our family as kids but couldn’t because of one episode which
mom and dad wanted to skip. And I caused a scene about it. She
said she continued watching in her room afterward. This was all
just us talking about something that happened decades ago and
discussing our differences in approach, perhaps.
Before all of this I was sitting on the couch with asia. That part
where she was talking about x-files or something. And we were
making stray comments about television because we didn’t know
what else to say since it had been so long since we talked. And
I commented about how someone was so attractive and I’m not
sure why they became all feminine. We talked for a little more.
We talked about the things mom and dad used to say
Music came up at one point. I think that’s because Nate came

over into my room and seemed interested in hanging out and
asked me about music but then pulled the “I’d love to stay but I
told another buddy I’d be over at his place by now” so he left ear-
ly on and I figured it was an excuse. So I think I was hurt about
this and sharing it with Asia.
Then we went to this gymnasium which was empty. The past and
present sort of blurred together I guess, and as I walked over to
this one area of the room I was taken back in time to this event
that apparently happened years ago.
We were in what felt like a school gymnasium, or maybe some

type of political town hall, but the room was partitioned, so I
was sitting with several girls in a small area of the room that was
2026
curtained off and we were all just sitting at a table. Some of them
were implied to be people from my past so this felt like a reunion,
but like I said it seemed like more of a flashback. There was that
goth girl whose feet I kept accidentally touching.
I was speaking to this other girl to the left of me who felt like Sta-
cy, and she was asking me why I never got back with her and the
others over the years and I asked “What do you mean?”And she
says that she tried for six years to contact me after we lost touch,
and I told her that if I knew that I would have surely respond-
ed. She said she told my sister to tell me, and I said my sister and
I haven’t had the best relationship, although in my dream I said
that 2008 was when our relationship broke down, and that I was
only now putting in an effort to repair it.
I wish I remembered more about what I chatted about with

those girls. We talked on and on. They were interested in hearing
about my music and it was so surprising to me that I almost
didn’t know what to say or how to respond to the interest.
At one point we were all watching out the nearby window as

these two birds put on some crazy show in the sky where the
mother was teaching the child to hold up the corner of a t-shirt
in its mouth so together they both held up this t-shirt and began
flying with it. I forget the message but it said something and they
were trying to communicate. We were all wowed by the cuteness
and complexity even though the birds took off at the end but
they really seemed to be trying to tell us something.
Shortly thereafter a war started. I was scared and I hid my head in

the lap of the girl to my right who covered and shielded me. My
ears were covered. I remember the first bomb blast. It wasn’t ter-
rible because I was shielded, but I felt a slight rumble and pres-
sure on my neck and so I attempted to cover that part of my
neck. Then the next bomb came and it was louder but I couldn’t
feel it as harshly. I remember closing my eyes while it was all hap-
pening, as it was just a very intense scene and everything was
rumbling. Some girl was shielding me with her body during the
bombings because I was scared and weak, and when I opened my
eyes everyone was gone and there was no trace of them.
Then I went walking looking for them, and I briefly glimpsed

this man standing around. He was this fat guy that looked like
some ancient Aztecan and wore this golden-olive sash outfit.
After my flashback I noticed a man walking through the build-

ing, and after staring I recognized that it was the same man. So
I went back to the present and told him what happened or men-
tioned it and he had this negative and suspicious attitude about
him and that’s when I learned of his involvement. He was the one
responsible for all that occurred and he just so happened to be
here today, perhaps knowing I was coming.
He wasn’t dressed as gaudy this time around, but he began re-

moving all of his layers of garment to reveal all of his different
badges and awards, citing all of his positions and how he may
even be part of undisclosed military forces. Now a staunch
leader, a politician, but in his youth he was part of a group which
took part in a singular event that some still struggle to overlook.
“Four, to be exact,” he told me. “There were four people that es-
caped alive that day, and for the life of me I don’t know how.”
Me, I was one of them, apparently.
The man spoke of his actions in a very nonchalant manner. Not

like he didn’t care, but like he was trying to give off that impres-
sion and was tired of being held to his one mistake. He was tired
of having to reflect on his failures. And he told me that I could
kill anything in the room that I wanted to kill, as compensation

for what I endured. I guess that included him, but that was im-
plied and not spoken specifically. But it was him implying that
this is the time to get my revenge and put him out of his misery,
but I went over to this bucket on the floor that was filled with
sponges and stuff and I just started kicking it around and bang-
ing and denting it. This is when I woke up.
CASTELLANOS’ CASTLE
I was in a place known as “Castellanos’ Castle”—the home of
a known child molester. Well, maybe not a molester, but some-
one charged with a crime that was somewhat worse than what
he actually did. But I remember standing in or around this place
talking to these musicians. My dad and I had been waiting by
the entrance for their shows to start up, and then they came out
and we spoke. Then the guy messaged me on Facebook, and his
username was like “Guitarist from ATX” or something. So I laid
there on the floor on like a mattress in one of the rooms talking
to him via a mobile chat app. Then I got up and the band mem-
bers were behind me in the doorway chatting, and behind two
of them I could see the guitarist standing there messaging me on
his phone. And I’m like “Wait, have you been chatting with me
from right here the whole time?” and he’s like “Yeah, hahaha-
ha.” Just ten feet away from where I was lying. So then me and
him are talking about merch designs and he welcomed me to put
my merch in his store, but he couldn’t find Tendon Levey on-
line which is what we had been chatting about, and I told him
to check Spotify or Bandcamp. But every time I typed one of the
URLs it would act up and it was infuriating. I might have tried
twenty times and couldn’t do it without a typo. I was telling him
it was this crazy avant-pop stuff and he was very intrigued and
allowed me to sell some of my merch in their store for more ex-
posure. So I was sitting there setting up merch items on an on-
line page, and the girl from the band was standing there, and she
wanted me to start a different page to prevent my work from be-
ing confused with theirs and I’m like “Not a problem.”
I remember while she was standing there I had my leg right be-
hind her knees and my arms behind her back and I was gonna
2030
swoop her and catch her if she took a step back. So I was waiting
and waiting for that to happen. And then she was talking about
how the guitarist I was talking to was a killer and conman and is
doing me wrong, but he was right there when she said that so I
assumed she wasn’t serious. And I’m telling her “Then I just need
you to stand by me and protect me, huh.” And then I got im-
patient while waiting for her to take a step back and just went
and kicked her legs out and dropped her to the mattress while
embracing her. I asked her to stay and I held her, and she didn’t
mind it. I wasn’t being overly romantic about it. More so cutesy
and in a publicly acceptable way since others were around, or at
least that’s how it seemed.
Earlier I was in that house staying overnight with a couple people

and we had that machine that made ice cream or something.
Whatever it was, it was so good and I got like the best part. Then
I came back when no one else was around and found these pack-
ets of conical cookies. I don't know how to explain them... like
cigarette shaped but tapered at the end.. they’re an actual thing
(Okay, I looked them up, and they’re a lot like Pirouline cook-
ies). And I took them to the guest room where I was staying, sat
at the computer chair and ate them quickly before people discov-
ered I had taken them.
Mmmm.
THEBABE****
Most of the dream in the company of a famous musician, as well
as my mother. We running around and doing errands. I was fan-
boying and quoting his music back to him way too much. At one
point I was doing yard work.
Afterwards we lounged around in the Londonberry upstairs liv-

ing room. The musician was looking through his phone to find
some pizza. There was one dish or pizza or salad topped with
chewed up gum. He didn’t know the name. It seemed to be
called “Thebabe****” [sic]. I suggested it might be artificially
chewed. He wanted it so bad.
Then we went out driving at night to get food. I accidentally

went out in my shorts—without a shirt or shoes. I was wearing a
white hexagonal necklace. So, so tired at the time, falling asleep
in the backseat.
2032
SEWERNATURAL
I was speaking to Asia on a fenced-in deck that somewhat resem-
bled John’s old deck. I was so sad to see how dim she had become.
She was looking for a hat that just said “Hat” on it. I told her
where to look. She lent it to someone at one point.
I was telling her about my recent dream where I went to a hotel

that was roped off because Donald Trump had been there and
they wanted to avoid fighting or problems, and I passed Rob
Halford as he was leaving the building, checking out, and we ex-
changed a couple friendly words. I went upstairs to my room
where a small gray kitten was sitting on my bed and I played with
it until I woke up. But this was a dream within a dream in that I
never had this dream outside of this one.
So I was telling Asia about my dream, trying to be nice and talk-

ative. But she was so burnt out. She was using all this mindless
slang and sounding idiotic while her priorities were all about get-
ting high and watching funny things. Still I kept trying to be
nice. At one point she mentioned having seen Tyler. I asked “Did
he ask to pray for you?” She said yes. I asked if she told him no.
I couldn’t discern her response so I asked again. She said “Yeah, I
told him no.” And I was like “Good work.”
Then me, Asia and mom were talking for a while in the house.
Mom came into the room looking all small and thin in some
green minty outfit and I said she looks like a kid on her way to
her first job.
Then I was watching old videos of myself while sitting in a car or

bus talking to the camera about family issues. Then it showed me
(in the video) riding to a park with my family, clearly suffering
2033
from respiratory problems but not drawing attention to it. Then

my father did some crazy dangerous car maneuvers on the side of
some hill trying to get to an office, which he says is the ‘first of-
fice to the left’ or ‘first door to the left’. I thought he meant ever,
in the world, but he just meant of this specific office. Then we
split up. My mom went shopping for an hour, while my dad and
I went down to the nearby sewer which we apparently accessed
through this office location. So I guess what I was watching on
the screen eventually became the dream.
While in the sewer I met up with a group of people. It felt like

a movie, but it was also real. I asked where Asia went. They said
Asia had gone to Hell, and I said “Whenever Hell is involved,
Asia will be there, because she married the devil,” and some Asian
girl gasped at what I said.
It was shortly thereafter that Micah showed up in the tunnel,

and what erupted was the most comical scene ever. We both had
these exaggerated, thespian demeanors. He looked like the dev-
il and I was some archangel. It seemed like a fight was going to
break out. I was acting like a Shakespearean character but very
flippant and people were trying so hard not to laugh at the way I
was acting. Simultaneously cool, dramatic and witty/humorous.
“Hello. Have you seen my new ... WINGS?”
Suddenly Queen’s “Bohemian Rhapsody” came on and everyone

in the sewer went crazy and began a highly choreographed sewer
dance (including myself ). It was so well done, and I was eagerly
anticipating the loud part of the song, and I remember getting
up in someone’s face all wild-eyed and anticipatory, but I acci-
dentally changed the song to a death metal song right before that
part hit because I was trying to turn up the volume real loud and
ended up hitting the ‘next’ button by mistake. So everyone drops

and stares at me with annoyance or confusion.
They were all standing around waiting for the music to come
back on, but instead I sat down with my father and Robert Plant
and engaged them in a long conversation about music. Robert
had just gotten something certified and was telling us all about
it. I was asking my father “Which song was it I played to death a
few months ago?” Apparently referring to a Led Zeppelin song,
but one which doesn’t exist. I was being subtle and kept quietly
to myself most of the time while allowing them to speak. How-
ever, I remember that I kept wanting to ask him “Do you still
feel what you felt back then when listening to these?” As in if the
feelings that drove him to record certain songs could still be felt
when listening to those same songs.
At the end I looked around and noticed all of the others had left.
The three of us had just been sitting on lawn chairs in this sew-
er chatting. My dad monopolized him though. I kept thinking
“Should I give him my music?” Then I decided against it, think-
ing my work was just too weird and unflattering.
THE LAST SERVICE
It was a Sunday morning and I was getting ready for church. I
was running late and getting very upset with my dad who was al-
so running late. When I wanted to leave he was in the bathroom
with a stomach ache saying he was stuck ‘hugging the couch’ and
would be a while longer. It didn’t take him too long but by the
time he was done I decided that I didn’t want to go. I decided it
was finally time to make a change. I told my father: “First of all,
the service has already started and I don’t want to walk in while it
is ongoing. Second of all, I just don’t want to go anymore. There
are better ways to spend my day, my life. I don’t believe in it any-
more.” It was all like a film negative, and I was unable to view a
new version of it with the opposite, if that makes sense.
Speaking with my mom in the Pine Hill computer room about

old television shows and an old online chat friend that she had
who had died, so she was speaking to his widow after many years.
Somehow I still ended up going to church and then having this

crazy ridiculous action packed service that had smoke and fire
and water and the guy to the left of me got into a fight with me
and I bent his arm weird and he had to go seek medical help and
I acted like I didn’t know what happen when staff came over and
asked where he was.
Then that non-speaking tall girl came over and we started hitting
it off until she explained to me that she only liked very specific
types of music and that she almost killed her last boyfriend or
herself over the fact that he liked weird electronic Japanese mu-
sic. She listed a name. I said “I don’t know of that group, al-
though I do like some weird electronic Japanese music,” and she
gave me a weird look.
2036
Then actor Paul Rudd, who was sitting next to me, basically end-
ed up stealing the girl away from me and I was yelling at him
“PAUL RUDD IS ALWAYS TAKING MY WOMEN!”
Then my dad came and I just left before service let out.
That’s when I saw Isaac in the parking lot and he knew I wouldn’t
be coming back to church after this day. He could just tell. So I
followed him around and asked if his emotions were okay, like if
he was okay with my decision internally. Then he had a camera.
Then I tried to find my father whose car I didn’t see. I almost got
hit by another car and ended up having to push some weird car
down the street and almost got hit by someone in the process. I
was helped by an old man who helped me find my father nearby
with a pair of binoculars but then we tried to follow where that
led us and we seemed to overshoot it.
DONALD
Ugh, what the fuck. Donald Trump was following me around
the entire dream thinking we were buddies. How does that even
happen...
I had been walking down some desert road when I came upon
him selling some collectibles to all the kids that passed by, and
I lied and said I owned most of them so as to get out of buying
some. And he’s like “I like the dark ones in the sixties!” And I
said “Yeah!” and compared them to some comic book or film,
and he liked that for some reason even though I was just making
mindless chat so as to seem like I was invested, but it must have
been what his ego wanted to hear. I think that’s what got him to
follow me around, and he followed me around the whole dream
and it was so weird because it felt like I was being followed by
some shameless little kid and I had been guilted into having to
act like his friend, but he looked true to life. It was so surreal.
After coming home, Donald wandered upstairs into my parent’s

bedroom and they were like “Where did he go?” They were not
happy to learn that he had gone up there so they had to go check
on him. He was taking photos of nature, like trees and flowers,
and then sending them via instant messages to random girls on
some weird throwaway app which allows you to message random
girls.
I went looking for food and there was nothing to snack on, so
my dad reaches around on the top of the fridge for me because I
was hungry and there was nothing else to eat so he pulled a new
can of Pringles from some secret stash in a cabinet that we don’t
normally use, and I yelled about how these cans are never filled
2038
to capacity. Then Asia comes to grab a handful and I yell “Stay

away, succubus!”
Then mother was lying by the doorway of my bedroom, talking

loudly about the fatness of his Bally, and I kept having to get her
to quiet down. Then he comes and plops down on the couch to
my left. So weird.
So at the end we were all sitting on the couches in Pine Hill. My

mother had turned on some artsy films called something about
Soldiers or Marching. Everything was black and white and even
the room felt that way. Then they all sat in a circle. Donald took
the couch next to me. I had my Pringles.
Then we’re all sitting there... me and my family and fucking Don-
ald... I see bibles being pulled out.
“Brings back bad memories,” I said.
“Of what!” Donald asks.
“Nightly devotions as a kid and when I’d fall asleep each night
during devotions and then have trouble getting to sleep in my
bed afterwards.”
Donald playfully but powerfully punched my left shoulder. Asks

me a question about my sleep. I explain. Then he tells me to be
more like my mother and describes her as outgoing and catlike
while shaping his hand to resemble a cat claw. This is around
when I woke up.
TWO CAFÉS
Early on I was with my family visiting some other family which
seemed somewhat rich and well off. They had two boys, a girl and
a dog. I didn’t really get along with the boys, who reminded me
of some of my cousins. They had a dog that I kept playing with.
It kept wanting to play with me and gave me something to do.
The daughter kept coming and going. And we would talk a little
bit here and there. It’s hard to say how old any of them were. It
all felt like my late teenage years, but that seems to be the age in
which I typically place myself in dreams, as well.
I didn’t care for their family, so I spent my time outside on their

property which is where the girl had a little fort. I’m hazy on the
details, although I remember the scene of her and I being up in
this fort-like place, when a neighbor's kid, a young and somewhat
annoying boy, passed by and spotted us and came to join us. I
hoped he wouldn’t see us and leave us be. I had gone up there
first and hoped she (the girl) would be up there soon since she
hung out there often. I think I was dressed in something while
sitting up in that fort, like a damn mascot outfit, thinking I was
funny and waiting to surprise her. There was chemistry that de-
veloped fast or so I thought, and we hung around each other un-
til my family left and me with them.
Later on I went with my family to a café. It was decent sized and

with standard traffic. I spent a while in this café location which
also contained a shop that sold all sorts of little items. They had
this really good looking dessert which might have been ice cream
but also might have been chicken. Looked like a fried chicken leg
with a scoop of chocolate ice cream. I don’t think it was meat.
Almost got it but hesitated due to the chickeny quality.
2040
We were about to leave, and my dad was visiting the bathroom

one last time. This was when I found a corridor in which I found
a ton of used media on shelves all along the wall. I remember
finding a 30-disc Dexter’s Laboratory DVD set, all of it scattered
and not together.
I went and told Asia and my mother. Asia came with me to look
at the media shelves. I went down the corridor and ended up on
the roof of the building where my mom had dragged all these
boxes. She had found the storage room containing inventory and
wanted us to steal stuff and bring them to the car. I’m like “First
of all, everyone in the parking lot can see us standing on the roof,
so it’s not long before we’re spotted up here and questioned. Sec-
ondly, I plan to be here for several days to come and if we get
caught we’ll get kicked out.” So I denounced all that she was do-
ing, but only after looking into the boxes, which looked like box-
es of my childhood toys.
We thankfully never ended up getting caught, although there

were several times later on in the dream where I thought back
and wondered if anyone found the boxes on the roof. There were
like four boxes my mom dragged out from their storage room.
I went back to the café, but there wasn’t much to do. They had
switched out desserts, as they did every set amount of hours, so
I was disappointed and wanted to ask someone if there was a
way to get my hands on those desserts even though they were
no longer being displayed. I opted to ignore it and I wandered
off again through the corridor. This time I took it further and
in a different direction than before and it led me to a location
that felt almost like a military base. The corridors certainly felt
very militaristic. I explored these hallways with caution, looking
in and out of the various rooms. The area had a very intense feel,
like wandering the industrial corridors of some experimental sci-

ence laboratory that harbored aliens. I passed a worker guy at
one point, who was either a soldier or a foreman. He asked to
know where I was going. I told him I was new and simply look-
ing around. I feared that he would yell at me for being there
and have me kicked out, but he was surprisingly kind and under-
standing and he showed me down the hall to where there was a
cafeteria. It was very nice and much different then the café from
before. It wasn’t as trendy. This one felt more like a midnight rest
stop. It had a big desk and counter illuminated with options of
food and drinks, but a lot of the display seemed blurry to me.
Blurry but illuminated. I stuck around and the people showed
me kindness.
Somehow, as night fell, this became a bedroom or we migrated

to the bedroom next door. At first we were all standing there
smiling at each other and giving introductions while sitting on
our beds. But then one after another the peoples’ faces start to
break into sadness. One woman in particular became very sad
and distressed. She looked at me as if expecting something from
me and was heartbroken. I felt a burden to help her and I think
others expected that I would, but I couldn’t. I don’t know what
was wrong with her, but I had to avert my eyes, looking down at
the floor, since her eyes were just too condemning.
Someone seemed to whisper something to me. Like “sing for

her”. I don’t know if that’s what truly was said, but I feared it was.
So I just looked sullenly down and avoided the realization. We
all then went to bed. The lights switched off. I was on my own
bed, which was across the room from all of the other people. Not
far, but it seemed to be on a different side of the aisle or divide.
Then in the middle of the night someone was walking by my

bed. I was still nervous at this point because I feared I offended
the others in that weird emotional moment where I saw through
everyone’s hurt. Suddenly a hand reached out. When it first ap-
peared it was by my legs, as if whoever it was didn’t realize which
way I was facing, and then they walked over to my upper body.
And I felt it hand me a cup. I took the cup. It was a paper cup
filled with water. I took it and drank it and I was thankful to
whoever they were. I couldn’t see who gave it to me. It was too
dark. They walked around my bed. They felt around in the dark
and laid down beside me in bed. I was alarmed, realizing some-
one was in my bed and it was too dark to see who it was, so I
couldn’t figure out who I was sharing it with. Then they came
close, and I felt their hands on me, and quickly realized it was the
girl from earlier in the dream. She was upset with me, but not in
an angry manner. She was upset that I could leave and she feared
I abandoned her out of dislike for her or something. I told her of
course not. She wore a striped shirt and I remember a little jelly
stain or something and a picture of a strawberry by the stain so it
might have been part of the shirt. And then we laid in bed em-
bracing. She came all the way here for me after I spent most of
the dream without her. It was so beautiful and surprising.
Then morning slowly rolled in not long after that. Someone

knocked gently at the door and I went to answer. It was an old
man, like a maintenance man, coming to check that the girl made
it here safely, since she had apparently asked him for directions
when looking for me and he sent her this way. And he had towels
and clean pajamas for us all. So I took most of them then passed
them around.
GOTH CROSSING
I forget what started the fight, but I was at Nanny and Poppop’s
old Pine Hill home with my family and my dad did something
abusive to me, so I had finally had enough and I took off running
down the street as fast as I could. I kept looking back to see if
he was chasing me, and at first it looked like the car was pulling
out of the driveway but it didn’t come. I ran until I made it to a
street with traffic and I had to stop and wait. There were other
cars and a horse and buggy and this goth guy with a dog wait-
ing to cross. We got hung up for some reason and I spent like ten
minutes with the goth guy just talking.
I didn’t even make it far. It was only to the end of Nanny and
Poppop’s old street right before it changed into a more busy
street.
The guy was wearing a sort of Hot Topic-esque goth shirt, so I

asked him if there was any goth stuff around here, and he said
“Ohhh yeah... The Six O’ Clock News.”
And I asked “Is that goth?” Because I had never heard of it before
and he nodded.
“Is it within walking distance? Because I don’t have a car, and my

feet ain’t doing so well.”
The dog kept slipping under me and weaving in and out of my

legs. Relatively small dog.
The phone in my pocket rang. I had taken my father’s phone.
I didn’t recognize the number but I figured that my parents had

found another phone on which to call me, and so I answered and
2044
it was my father with his fake calm stern emotionless voice telling
me to come back, while my mother could be heard screaming
insulting and threatening me in the background being more di-
rect and straightforward with what she meant to say. So I hung
up, and I tried desperately to figure out what to do. I knew they
would soon be on their way here. I gave it a couple minutes be-
fore I just started packing up all of my things which, for some
reason, were strewn all over the road, the contents of my back-
pack, clothes, toys, random stuff. So I started collecting it all and
putting it in my backpack while telling this man about how it’s
easier to stay in an abusive situation than to be out here. It was
very sad and stressful.
“As much as I hate to say it, it is easier for me to live in traumatic

and abusive conditions than to live out here. Look at me. I can’t
even figure out how to cross the street.”
The man then started talking about relational dynamics in psy-

chology and all of the things that we look at to take the place of
our inner familial needs in life. He was slurring and yawning at
this point though and I don’t know what had gotten him so tired
all of the sudden.
This was the guy with the dog who was standing with me at the
crossing of the road. Where there was previously a horse and
buggy and other cars. He was acting as a crossing guard help-
ing me figure out who had the right of way but something went
wrong so we ended up stuck here for like ten minutes.
Earlier on I was with AB. We had met up while I was in a store

or something and I was filthy and disheveled, and I had been
ignoring her and keeping her at bay, but eventually I conceded
and let her in and we came back to my place and everything was
gross, my hair, my clothes, my furniture. And we just hung out

and spoke. This was before the running away part.
BUTTERFLY NOODLES
At the start of this scene I was sitting on a couch in Pine Hill
drinking and watching a movie while my mom was cooking in
the kitchen. I drank too much too fast and started to feel it. At
one point it worried me and I wandered out into the deck and
barely kept from falling over the deck rail but all was super dizzy
at the time. Then I came back in and sat at the table and I looked
at my drinking glass and asked, “Did you put the little pickle in
my glass?” And she says no, referring to a small pickle slice, circu-
lar, at the bottom of my wine glass.
My mom was making a giant batch of “butterfly noodles” in the

sink which was some method for making bulk ramen, apparent-
ly, so the sink was filled with pasta. She’s just standing there and
says “Ugh, I don’t even know what I’m doing anymore. None of
this makes sense.” And then I pop up and interject with, “What,
Christianity?” Clearly as a quip, but to no answer.
Then I started taking little crunchy pieces and eating them, say-
ing, “Mmm, good food, it’s like bread to me.” And she goes “Re-
ally???” Because I was eating it raw. And by now I’m walking out-
side to the deck in Pine Hull, where all of this is taking place.
Then there was a strange scene where a camera crew arrived to

film her process but it was only shown from the camera’s per-
spective, as if I was watching the actual recording. You can hear
the camera man narration going “And here we have...” and he de-
scribes what she’s doing and she freaks out while covering it with
her hands, saying, “No, it’s a mess! I’m not ready!” But then you
hear the cameraman whisper, “I know, which is why I’m not get-
ting close-ups of the food. I just need to film my story.” Then it
2047
showed all these artistic montages of Lucille Ball in the kitchen

smoking a cigarette.
Then there was a part where I kept going down outside of the
gate and Scarlet kept trying to follow me so I would have to chase
her back up into the house. Eventually Scarlet, Asia and my fa-
ther all “escaped” and me and my mother were wondering what
to do.
ELEVATOR OF DEATH
I almost died on the elevator when someone purposely rewired
it... those two old women. So instead of it taking me to the next
floor it just flipped over. I thought I was gonna die and I did
all I could to get out but it was no use. Somehow I eventually
did manage to get out, though, and my hair was a different col-
or. And I was at a party celebrating my survival I think. I was
speaking to this guy and he called over his daughter: a fat girl
with these piercing red demon eyes, and at first I was like oh shit
whaaa, but she came in for a hug and I realized it wasn’t bad.
Maybe she was just some goth or cosplayer or something, but I
thought she was some malevolent demon at first. She says “What
color is your hair, I love it!” And I said black. And she’s like
“Then what’s all these blonde and green patches?” And I’m star-
ing at her all confused, because apparently it just happened and
I didn’t yet know about it, and I said “Oh? maybe it’s a product
of almost dying.” “Well what color is it usually?” And someone
with me says “Black” and I say “full-on emo black”. Then she goes
over to the ductwork, which is very large, walks down into it,
comes back with a little bottle of cleaner called Ventus Preservus
and takes a swig and I’m like ‘what the fuck, you just drank a ran-
dom chemical product’ so I’m waiting for her to wretch or die
and she just kept walking about as if all was well.
Then I was talking to this one guy who was thirsty but wouldn’t
drink his drink, so I was trying to be kind, and I went into the re-
frigerator and said, “We have this open Coke here,” and he flips
out “I don’t drink drinks that someone has already drank from.”
It was a small bottle but someone had cut the plastic, cutting the
top off, before returning it to the fridge, so it was like a half bot-
tle. Then I handed him a sealed bottle of ginger ale or something
2049
in the fridge and he took it along with a plate I gave him. He

went outside, but then he set it down on a chair without touch-
ing it and went off to join the party, so I saw that and I came back
and sighed and his mother was like “Ahhh he’s like that, don’t let
it bother you.” He was like an adult male, too... the guy acting
like a brat. I was just trying to be nice to guests. This was when I
woke up.
What the hell led up to the elevator part though. Okay. I remem-
ber walking through the city at night. I ran out into the inter-
section to speak with my mother and some kid who were dri-
ving off, and so I was standing at the intersection of a street talk-
ing to that kid who didn’t have a music player and I’m like dude
use your phone. It’s what I use. And he said he was gonna get
a phone for Christmas. And I was telling him why that’s better
than an iPod. I think this talk came up because someone in the
car next to us was blasting some classic rock song I recognized
so I turned around quickly but I didn’t know what it was and
figured it was probably a song from guitar hero or rock band
still floating around in my unconscious mind after all these years.
Then they drove off, including my mother and that kid.
I wandered off down into this very eerie foreign city. Bad vibes all
around. Narrow alleys and long dips. Felt like India or the Mid-
dle East. There were these old women walking everywhere carry-
ing things. Really old villagers. I was under the impression that
I had a house here but I didn’t know which one was mine, so
I tried a bunch of handles for different houses that looked like
they could be mine but they were all locked. I’m like what the
fuck it’s my dream how come I can’t get into these houses. I was
really nervous when trying to get in though because I wondered
what am I going to find... are the houses going to empty out for
me if I decide they’re mine or am I going to walk in on strangers

and get myself in trouble.
I guess this is eventually how I wandered into that lab-like room,

where those old foreign women had rewired the elevator in an
attempt to kill me. I almost died of suffocation I think.
QUARTERS
I remember Marcus creating an Instagram account, or reviving
his old one since he was already on my list apparently. And I
remember he got more than a hundred likes with his first post
which annoyed me a little bit.
This somehow led me to attend some live performance or movie

screening recommended by Marcus which he thought of as a
good political opinion piece and I kept wanting to critique it
but withstood the temptation. Part way through I left and went
walking down to the gas station or whatever and I asked the
woman at the window how much five orders of onion rings cost.
It was more of a booth and not some place that you walk in. At
first she gave me an answer that tried to get out of telling me, like
by saying “Price is on the sign,” but then I asked again for a total.
Then on the way out I was picking up some quarters that I found
lying on the ground when an old weird homeless lady walked by,
and I was being super courteous and complementary to her, but
she ultimately accused me of taking other peoples’ quarters sim-
ply because she was jealous of having not made it to them first.
After I left, she apparently went and told the woman who owned
the booth and the woman contacted my mother, acting as if I
was some thief.
I left this and rejoined my parents who were about to leave the
show that I myself had just left. I remember the phone call reach-
ing my mother just as I made it back, from the gas station clerk. I
heard it explained while we were in the kitchen and I was pour-
ing myself a cup of of something. There were tons of hallways
to pass through, and Asia wanted to go into this one room and
complete a transaction. I remember one part where I went off by
2052
myself and in the knowledge that a girl that I liked was about to
show up at the bend, so I was trying to look all cool while pre-
tending to climb some random structure, while randomly hum-
ming a DGD song for no perceivable reason, and just making
myself look busy. Then when she came by one of us made a com-
ment, and we got to talking.
THE SHOWERS
Me and that girl sitting in class. For some reason I thought her
name was Ellie, but she isn’t someone I know in reality. We kept
touching one another, but it started off really simple. She had
done something that was impressive, like a presentation, and I
complimented her as she sat back down. Something that hap-
pened required or allowed me to touch her in some minor way,
like really minor, like a pat on the back or a handshake, but we
kept escalating. Like I would touch her shoulder, and then she
would touch mine. Then I would touch her leg and she would
touch mine. It kept going. And then she put her hand over my
crotch and whispered for me to meet her in the showers. So we
snuck off to the public bathroom down the hallway.
We fondled a bit but never shed our clothes entirely before I

awoke. At the time I was also listening to this weird song of mine
that I never heard before. It seemed very suggestive and it was
called “Jenna”. It was about this very event, so it’s possible that the
whole event was me living a flashback while listening to a song.
But of course the song doesn’t exist in reality. Although as it con-
tinued on it seemed to be saying “Jeiezza” and not “Jenna”. And
I remember running my hand down the girl’s backside and be-
ing fascinated by the difference of nuances from one body to the
next, and I imagined my hand running down Jeizza’s bare body.
Next thing I know, Jeiezza and I are running down the road at
night. There were all of those grim reapers appearing everywhere
and I was telling people to be careful because they were populat-
ing all these areas where you would expect them. One reaper at
the end was difficult to outrun, while another was hard to catch.
Some would run, some would walk. And I followed one into the
2054
dark and awoke just then before I could switch on my lights to

see.
THE SHOWERS II
I was sitting around with my father listening to an old recording
wherein I recounted my previous dream, but I jumped up and
stopped the recording as it started to get overtly sexual. This
dream came after I awoke from the previous one and wrote it all
out in my journal.
2056
LORD LICORICE
I was sitting there on the phone with a girl who was talking
about some hunky guy. I asked her if she wanted to meet up
with me over the weekend or if we could join some web thing to
make communication easier. I remember her commenting about
maybe going to some place where some guy would be and I said
“But you’re married.”
Waiting at the counter of a gas station convenience store for a su-

per long time for a cup of Italian ice called ‘Lord Licorice’. I was
only there in the first place because I thought it would be pre-
pared immediately, but it took hours and I was there all night
while she fulfilled other orders.
At the end that boy in my yard was following me and he was

some obnoxiously unsentimental boy. Respawned in different
clothes and then I went to run to kick him and slid through him
like jelly. Then he broke the pattern and started following me
around, albeit slowly.
2057
FRONT ROW
I was with that guy in the giant mascot costume. A bunny or
something. He had dressed up for the show thinking it would
be funny. Some fast food mascot. And then we went to watch a
live concert in this place. It must have been Mastodon, because
I clearly remember the show starting with “The Czar”. I went up
front to get a good seat, and when I finally found a good spot I
got a lot of flak from this girl asking me to move because she said
I was standing between her and her husband. When the lights
came on I noticed I was standing among a party of black people
and they all seemed irritable that I was there. Although the girl
was by far the most irritable and confrontational. She kept say-
ing mean things to me—most of which were assumptions. Un-
til finally I said something back to her which changed that and
made her think that I wasn’t such a bad guy. I don’t remember
exactly what it was. Something humorous, as I recall. And with
that we suddenly became really chummy. She realized she had me
wrong, and we began talking and joking around. Suddenly she’s
giving me her camera and having me take pictures of her and my-
self. I had difficulty navigating through all the filters and options
and struggled to take the photo at first. We were just talking the
whole concert and everyone else that she was with walked off
when the lights came.
She had some form of skin condition, like vitiligo. She was very
loud and often repeated what I said so loud and enthusiastically
that the people around us could hear it, but we got along after
the beginning and it was utterly hilarious to be a part of. At the
end she went off to the bathroom and I went out and wandered
the hallway. This was when I woke up.
2058
DRUMMM
I was sitting down at a kick drum and wanted to play. The snare
sounded crappy and rattle like a vibra slap. There was a ride next
to the stare. I was with DSP. Sat down at the kit and asked if he
would remove the stuff from the bass drum so that it didn’t rat-
tle. He paused and I asked “is it removed?” And he said yeah it’s
already gone. I started playing with my right foot but as my heel
came down I thought oh no and decided to switch to my left
heel, requiring me to change the side of the pedal. After I play for
a minute, he comes to show me something I can improve so he
sits to my left, bends my leg inward, so that my heel comes close
to my crotch, and I remember going “This is... mmmm.” And I
mmm’d when my feet came near my crotch and I started laugh-
ing, and then he is moving my right arm which requires him to
put his arm around my shoulder and we both start cracking up,
and I’ve got my heel digging into my crotch, and his arm around
me, and he’s laughing and I’m thinking what the fuck. It was not
supposed to be suggestive, that was entirely accidental but that
made it funny. Then I woke up.
2059
CASUALTY
I went up to Asia’s room while she had two or three guests
over—two in the room with her. I was being kind to them but
she started saying things that made me look bad, like “Remem-
ber when you broke my camera by jamming such and such?” She
had a name for it, like spindle. And I said that wasn’t me. Then I
explained when I messed up the bottom of mom's camera. And
Asia kept blaming me. And I’m like ‘Do you not know what kind
of person I am? Do you not know my cognitive functions?“ She
kept going, making me look dumb. I went out into the hallway,
found a short girl, like under 5’ and I was basically lucid by now,
and I’m just like fuck this, and I led the girl away, wondering
what would happen if I just used her as leverage, which I realized
I had never done in a dream before and so I was curious what
would happen if I took a hostage to negotiate with my dream
characters or the dream itself, and when she started freaking out
I pushed her down the stairs. Then she got up and ran to my
mother crying. I denied it. I went to explain to my mother what
was going on. Also lost my hat somehow. Having to explain that
Asia was being a jerk. Meanwhile this girl that I was being a jerk
to is cowering by my mother.
2060
BLACK MOTHER
At the end I was being helped by that boy who I met in the
restaurant, he was a server, climbing up onto that ledge, and it
was so slippery and difficult and I wasn’t given much to grab so I
had to kick off of something else and so I made it to the platform
to which he was leading me and woke up.
Before this we ran through these valleys at night after having just
left the job.
Before leaving the job we were in the aisle of the store, which was
part of our company but that was the front end, we didn’t do re-
tail, and we were talking about ‘Black Mother’, and I said that
sounds like a war tank, and my black coworker who worked in
the video section was cracking up at it. Then he went into this
story about this girl that called some guy the n-word Jesus Christ
because I was asking him about the acceptability of Black Moth-
er and he said it’s fine it’s not offensive and so he was telling me a
separate story that crossed the line for him.
Before this we were working in the kitchen, which is when I ran

back into the boy, and I was taking off shift. I remember me and
the boy walking through the hall and he asked me my name and I
said Tendon. And I asked him his name. Then after answering he
said “What about last name?” And I said “Levey, and yours?” It
was just a vivid scene of walking through the backrooms, in and
out of bathrooms washing hands in the sink, asking each other
questions.
Before this we were in that indoor playground that felt like

something at Chuck E. Cheese. When I entered I saw that the
parents became uneasy, like ‘Why is this big guy in here?’ So I
2061
tried to be sensitive to their discomfort and explained that I was

just an employee making sure all was running smoothly, and I
was like ‘Why are all the kids not moving?’ The adults explained
that they froze when I showed up. And I thought ‘Oh nooo,
that’s weird.’ They were nervous or something. So I’m like “I
guess it’s best to meet them in kind.” And so I observed this lit-
tle girl bopping her head back and forth laughing and being silly
and I started mimicking the exact thing and it was really cute and
funny and I saw all of the kids in the playground slowly coming
back to life and action so I felt good, since I was mimicking their
actions.
This was after I was walking across that indoor playground

bridge when those guys came into the store and saw some water
gun or nerf gun in a bargain bin and went nuts because he had
been looking for one just like it. My parents were handling it
though so I went back into the playground on the other side of
the room.
SATURNINE
The very end was me getting nanny Gatorade from the car and
refilling the skittles container and something about telling her
to go back into the store by the Prince display. After waking up
from my dream and trying to record the details, my mom inter-
rupted.
Before this was that very intense scene where I was watching my
parents in that room. I was arguing with my dad about poli-
tics about how I’m still having to catch up to the way things are
and relearn everything for myself without their opinions being
readily accepted as doctrine, so I remember being like “George
Bush? Sucked! Reagan? Terrible!“ And how I’m having to re-
learn everything on my own. As I was doing this, something out-
side began to collapse. It fell, and my girlfriend wanted to go
out. I went over and took her hand and together we went out
and came upon these things. Incestine? They were the alien guys
drawn on my wall on a poster. They were a small band of apoc-
alyptic alien guys. The air was vibrating and I couldn’t see them.
So I called out to them. They possessed me or something. One of
them did. There were several of them and I did something to at-
tract them. I remember walking across the street at night under
the street light. Something was shaking and I knew it was over
there. It was extremely intense.
The fighting ensued I think when my girlfriend came to the door.

She seems really young and my parents commented about the
way she was dressed. And I went off on them. Then when I derid-
ed their religion and beliefs, I saw something fall outside. A giant
thing to the left of us like a satellite fell down and broke on the
ground. Even though it was my current bedroom, the leftmost
2063
wall was all windows and I could see through. The girl was really
eager to go out and see, tugging at my hand and saying we need
to go out while trying to get me to go outside. So I scowled at my
father as if to punctuate our conversation and went with my girl
outside.
Someone inserted something into me. So there was a fake me

walking around. Or a simulation. And I was watching what he
was doing on this monitor. And I remember looking up and all
of the Incestine were staring at me, they were all there and I was
speaking with them, because the simulator monitor and the real-
ity accidentally merged.
Wait, was the whole nanny scene after I woke up from my dream
a simulation run by them? It was SO weird. The vibrations, the
eeriness, very intense being around them. And I recognized them
all from the picture on my bedroom wall.
Before all of this I was out with some friends driving around in
a car and we were deciding where to go. JF wanted to go back to
his house but we were all like no. There was all this burger stuff
happening, like I had to buy Isaac a burger to make up for some-
thing. But then he would buy me some food and I was trying to
figure out what I wanted since I didn’t eat burgers. This was all
before I was dropped off at my house to get ready for my girl-
friend.
The incestine was like intestine, but it might have been saturnine
and not incestine.
LUCID COCONUT CANDY
There was the dream where I was at Nanny and Poppop’s apart-
ment. Coconut candy under the cabinet. Made us pancakes.
Bathroom hogged by that guy. At one point I was with Asia in
the New Jersey living room. We were watching something and I
was convinced that this, unlike what came before it, would last
forever. As the new guy I bought sushi and candy for the others.
I went lucid at the end of the Poppop dream and went into my
Londonberry house looking for anything that looked unusual in
my dreaming state. I went into my room and started looking at
my belongings, and then my Tendon Levey CDs. Looking for
things that looked different than they should. I opened up all my
CDs And wasn’t noticing any art that was off, until I got to a cer-
tain batch which definitely had weird insert art. Oh, there is a lot
more to say but I’m much too tired to keep on going. The lucid
parts of this dream were absolutely crazy because I began suffer-
ing a lot of visual distortions and I was having extreme difficulty
maintaining the dream. Like it was really trying to eject me. My
field of vision was turning blue and distorted and there were sev-
eral instances in which I regained the dream after thinking surely
I lost it.
2065
BEEHIVE HAIRDO
I was with women with beehive hairdos and other fifties hair-
styles. They were with their children and they were slaves to what
others thought of them. The one woman’s hair kept changing
from blonde to brunette scene to scene. Ugh, once more, I’m too
tired to complete this dream recall.
2066
RUIN, BY STENCH
I was in a store. At the end I was gonna strike up a conversation
with that weird Iranian goth girl who worked in the department
store and was singing this song really loud all dramatically. The
song was called “Ruin” and it was by a band called Stench. I
knew because they had recently played it on the monitors at this
store. “It’s alll I haaaaaaaaave, something something meeeeeee!”
I ducked into an aisle with my bicycle to Google it real quick
and make sure I had the name right before going back by her and
telling her her version was the best even though it was weird and
over dramatic and I just wanted to strike up a conversation.
I passed by a boy working and carrying boxes while riding my

bicycles. Then he passed. And I went through another aisle and
knocked over some boxes right when this black guy came by and
he asked if I could help carry some of these back with him. I
agreed since he was kind enough. He was a stocker or something.
But I wanted to be like “Hey, give me a moment to say hi to the
girl.” I picked up some stuff. Saw a can of wasabi peas and was
gonna buy them in the hopes my throat could handle them.
Before this I was at that outdoors place where everyone was play-
ing music and I brought out my tambourine when they played
a disco song but my tambourine was rusted and barely made
a ching and so I felt super self-conscious about joining in and
already felt like such an unwanted outsider and nobody recog-
nized me as being a musician. I spent a while looking through
my percussion and wanting to join them but I didn’t, and now
that I got the tambourine I ran around the yard chasing the dog
with the tambourine while they were playing just being an ab-
solute weirdo. It was a big dog. First I chased it then it chased
2067
me and on and on. But it was a nice dog and meant me no harm.
It was my Londonberry yard. Poppop and nanny kept trying to
show me something and I wanted to get away to say goodbye to
my cousins or whoever that family was before they left my house.
But nanny and Poppop were talking. And I made the mistake
of making a comment which implied I wasn’t a Christian, when
they made some anti catholic comment, and how the Protestants
are superior to Catholics and I just made some remark like “I
don’t know it just looks like equal sports teams fighting,” or some
kinda comment like that and then they tried to go into witness-
ing mode so I was like no, I’m gonna go talk to these other peo-
ple.
Before this everyone was out at the store shopping while I stayed
back at the house. That super tall girl came back with everyone
else, and I said hi but she didn’t really respond, so I asked Asia
what’s wrong with her, is she depressed. She didn’t know. Not
sure why everyone went shopping but me. Apparently my
iPhone was broken. And Asia was convinced it was my charger
so she bought me a new charger and was setting that up in the
Londonberry kitchen. This was around when people started to
leave and Nanny and Poppop came over.
Before this there was a scene where I was walking through the
hallways and peeking into rooms. It felt like strippers or cam
girls. And I felt so confident and I was going in and out of
rooms but I was treated like some gross individual by them. So I
went into the bathroom. I found mousse under the cabinet and
moussed my hair, hoping I did it right. And then I found some
black face paint and did this insane design where the bottom
half of my face was all black, though for some reason it turned
all of my little stubble and facial hairs metallic gold, which was
really striking, and I looked like some kind of ancient god, and
I planned to go back out that way. Then a girl came into the
bathroom while I was in there and started talking to me, and
then I started testing out my moves on her to see if I was cool-
er now than before, and she started stripping, so I pulled back
and she said “Oh no, I was just moving. Don’t stop.” And I said
“It’s alright, I’m saving up my energy for later.” Then I think this
is when I returned to my house though, and everyone was out
shopping.
THE NAIL BAT
Alex K. and I were in a townhouse. I had come in and it was
bed time, so he was getting into bed and I told him first I had to
sing my pre-bed song before he turned the lights off, so I stood
up on the bed and sang “Dilbar Dilbar”for some unknown rea-
son while dancing around and I’m just confused as fuck. Then I
turned on the song really loud and I realized the bass subwoofers
were way too loud and could probably be heard by the neigh-
bors, so he got anal and wanted to go check outside and see if he
could hear it. And I said “It’s only 8:30 at night, so no one is even
asleep.” Then I sat around on the couch for a while. This town
house looked like Pine Hill.
What was the deal with that old woman falling down the stairs
and trying to strangle me and then the other woman setting me
up because she thought I had some papers belonging to her son.
And I followed her into her room but she freaked out that I did.
It was dark and creepy there. I said “I want to help find them
for you; truly.” I remember when she told me what she was look-
ing for. I made a face which made her hopeful that I knew where
they were, and she burst out crying thinking that, but then I said
oh no I don’t, and she apologized and felt ashamed at how emo-
tional she was about it, since she was typically acting cold and
this moment just broke her when she thought she might actually
be getting the papers back.
This part freaked me out because I was close with both of them,
like family. One was a super old lady. Another was a middle-aged
woman who had been kind to me. The old lady took a slow mo-
tion fall down the stairs while I was at the bottom. I tried to
stop her fall but she took me out and as we both lay on the floor
2070
she began attempting to wrap her arms around my neck, and in-
conspicuously so, in a way where it looked she had accidentally
strangled me, but this was all a set up, put in by the middle-aged
lady at the top, to strangle me, and I immediately knew what she
was doing. The lady wanted both the old lady and I to die, and
this was how to do it. Then she started telling me I took her kids
papers, and there was this rock she mentioned, from my child-
hood, which she mentioned either before or after, and I didn’t
remember the rock, but she was telling me it was from my child-
hood and trying to jog my memory. It was very frustrating be-
cause I wanted to help, and not just because my life depended on
it but because I felt bad for her and didn’t mean to hurt her with
whatever had happened, or whatever she thought had happened.
Then I went into the kitchen, and there was that girl standing by
the table. We were getting food or snacks and putting them on
our plates and I was telling her I’ve had this dream before. She
didn’t know what I was talking about, and I told her all of this
had happened in a dream of mine, and that I specifically remem-
ber when she showed up, and I said there was someone else too.
She asked who. I said “I don’t know, another hot girl.”And then
this girl entered the kitchen, who was apparently a male-to-fe-
male transgender, but I wouldn’t have known if it wasn’t pointed
out, even though she was flat-chested. I was like “Oh that’s her!”
Confirming that I was reliving an earlier dream and it was all re-
curring like clockwork. Then this guy from across the table was
eyeing me. He wore a pink sweater and looked like the nerd kid
from Galaxy Quest. He comes over to me and starts saying “Oh,
is that what you’re into?” And I was quickly trying to figure out
his angle, but he was a Christian asshole, and tried to tell me how
wrong I am. I think it had to do with the fact that I was staring at
the transgender girl and found her attractive. I walked out of the
door to avoid him but he followed me, and I remember saying “I
am an asexual anyway, so I don’t even have sex with people to be-

gin with.” Then he went back inside, locking me outside, and all
the grass in the yard turned to water, stranding me on this little
island which was about the size of a welcome mat in front of the
door.
Endless water around me. And I only had a fork in my posses-

sion, and I was trying to pry open the door with a fork. Even-
tually someone let me in, and I felt the door slowly open while
I was still prying the fork in the crack. I opened the door, and
the lights were all dim, and everyone was standing around in the
kitchen in dramatic poses turned away from me looking all goth-
ic and intense, and I look down at the kitchen table and say, in a
loud and exasperated voice, “HERE is the part I remember.” Si-
lence. I pause. “Can’t we just skip this?” I asked. Then they start-
ed turning on me, and I took off toward my parents room as all
of these creepy people and entities started coming after me in
this dark house. Didn’t haven’t a plan. Just instinct.
I instinctively ran upstairs to my parents room instead of down-

stairs to my own. I went into their room, grabbed a nail bat,
which was mine but had been confiscated by my father. The nails
were badly done, since I didn’t know to nail them into the end
and they went almost down to the hilt and made it hard to hold
and swing. And the make of the bat, itself, was cheap, so it was
hard to grip and swing, and it was lightweight.
A man had followed me into my parents room. A middle-aged

man, mostly bald, looked like a redneck. So the man mocked
my bat saying it was a prop. I ran past him to get to my down-
stairs bedroom, where I immediately grabbed a heavier bat lean-
ing against my dresser, and this was right as he was walking in.
He was quick as hell. And he sees me grab the second bat and
goes “What? More of this?” And right then I swung the bat and
decapitated him with a single swing, sending his head flying off
through the open door and into the laundry room. His head
sailed past a kid who had just come down to the basement, pre-
sumably to hide, and he freaked out and collapsed in the door-
way, and I’m like ‘goddamn, I remember this, too
At first I felt bad for him, but then he started saying “WHAT
WAS THAT!” And I’m like “It’s okay, kid.” And I knew what
was coming. Then he started yelling about Jesus Christ and his
voice became demonic as he screamed about Jesus and I ended
up killing him with a swing of the bat as well. Stressed out, I
decided I could either go back upstairs and face the rest of the
dream or wake up and I chose to wake up. Probably should have
chosen to continue with the dream, since I woke up hours early.
THE ROBOT AND THE PURPLE
WIG
Most of the dream was me getting ready for some church home
group. My mother was a robot looking thing like a portable vac-
uum cleaner and my father was a transgender woman with pur-
ple hair. I was walking around singing in Spanish while waiting
to go to Elon Musk’s house, which is where youth group was be-
ing held, very late at night. We had to leave at 10:30, at night and
it was a forty minute drive. Right before we were about to leave,
I got in a spat with the mom robot and kicked it over and its wa-
ter leaked everywhere. I sat it back up but it wasn’t making any
vocals or noises, so I worried I had destroyed it right before the
road trip and didn’t know if that would affect things. Later when
my dad came back from some quick errand I casually drew atten-
tion to it and he said “I don’t know. It’s not showing up on the
network signal.” So he reboots it and it starts working again.
I changed my clothes a million times in the dream. Started out in

black sweat clothes, but then put on tighter dark red pants and a
black metal band hoodie, but I realized one of my favorite black
metal king sleeve shirts had had the sleeves cut off, so I was an-
noyed. It was an Immortal shirt.
Then my dad made food in the kitchen, and I asked,``Why does

it smell like both seafood and French fries simultaneously?” And
he says “Because it’s crab fries.” And I go “Oh.” And he offers me
some. I say “Noooo, of course not.”
Then I went into the dining room and I’m pretty sure my sister
and I were supposed to be in a romantic relationship behind my
parents back, but nothing happened. And we were sitting by the
dining room table talking for a while. Then I look up at the old
2074
pic of mom and dad on the wall from their 80’s wedding, and I
say “Wow, how they have changed.” Now dad has purple hair, a
wig, and is transgender, and mom is a robot.
I was hoping to cause some trouble at the home group. I had a

little pin that clipped onto the lapel or collar of my button down
shirt. What did it say... something demon. I only wanted to so-
cialize and didn’t actually want the religious aspect, so I hoped to
start trouble or at least punk around.
OLD ACTOR
At one point I was in the store shopping with those people.
Some girls. There was something good about the experience.
What did that girl and I do on the way back? We went out back
and filmed something on the deck.
Then sitting around in the living room talking with a couple peo-
ple, including that old celebrity who says he once cameo’d on an
episode of Full House. He started talking about how he’s not a
sex offender and everyone is just sore and how in his day he was
with many women.
My mom was like “This is my son, Kori,” and then the man looks
at me and says “Hello, Ashley.” And my mother and I both say
“Hello.” And then there was laughter.
Then several metal musicians came in and we’re all sitting around
talking. This was after nanny came in with uncle Jamie and he
was struggling to keep his business and I wanted to tell him he
could have Rictus if he was struggling.
Then while the rock stars were over I went in the back dining
room and started doing something loud. I remember listening
to a loud song, it was really beautiful. Which segued into some-
thing by The Smiths or something. My dad went to paint in the
next room over. The guys were still here. But what happened that
caused my dad to freak out? And suddenly I’m locking myself
in this room. While I can hear some smashing sounds. I had to
go into the closet and pull a blanket over my body, terrified. Su-
per claustrophobic. Then I realized there was a reset button that
would take me back to before he started reacting but I decided
to wake up instead. It was terrifying. Everything was shaking.
2076
Much earlier before the store part we were also all staying in this
large house when these bad people entered in the house down-
stairs. And I guess they were staying there for the night. Not sure
why. And I was having to be careful of locking certain doors in
my suite. They were in a lower level.
After this I went shopping. It was Walmart. I looked at the

clothes section then electronics then got some fruit. Maybe cere-
al. Then I checked out and went with these girls.
Then we talked for a little bit and went outside on this deck,
where I think it was decided I would play the part of one of their
boyfriends and I was stoked. But very soon it seems like my mom
came into the picture, and this is when we had that guy come
over. I met him, then a little while later my mother introduced us
both again.
And there was this emotional scene where I saw the video of him
on Full House as a kid—a weird looking kid but they treated him
well because he was a celebrity. And then one of the actresses
were crying and laying beside him sentimentally. Now he was
this old gangster actor, and he was talking to me trying to offer
me tips or something, then he leaves.
And nanny and Jamie are getting ready to leave. I didn’t know
they were even here. And I’m looking at these shelves in the liv-
ing room looking for things to take with me. When those other
rockstars show up.
VCR
I was going into televisions. It was amazing. The VCR would au-
tomatically select one preset out of several and either suck in ma-
terial or other things depending on small details within he sur-
roundings. I was testing things out with that woman with whom
I was working.
Then me and that woman went to this public office and she told
me we wouldn’t be long, and that a doctor was required to come
and confirm the bodies of all of these people that came into the
morgue or somewhere, although she said they often didn’t stay
long; no more than ten minutes, but most couldn’t handle the
sights and just needed to be around to verify some things real
quick.
I was initially going with her but then waited outside in the office
attempting to go into the public television. It wasn’t working for
some reason and I was getting so frustrated. But after a while I
realized that there were some office plants touchy the VCR on
both sides which may have been infecting with the function they
it selected automatically, sort of like a camera misfocus causing it
to select the wrong mode.
I was thinking about hell and religion and the contradictions in

Christianity, and I was thinking of “Hostage” by End Time Lo-
cust, and how I legitimately have no fear of Hell, and then I start-
ed singing “Disco Inferno” while walking around my bedroom
at the end—“Burn, baby, burn, disco inferno!” I had gone back
to my room temporarily because the woman was taking so long.
But then she came to get me and told me I need to come back
and stay with her. This was the end. Much went on earlier.
2078
Like me and Asia were watching those videos from the late 80’s
early 90’s which were commercials showing the outbreak of some
STI on the streets or something and they portrayed it in this re-
ally dark way with their movie equipment. Felt like a movie, go-
ing through the streets and talking to these 80’s girls. And I think
I tested out my ability by going into the VCR and entering this
STI commercial, so I ended up on these nasty, dark streets in the
80’s.
My mother did something very stupid early on and we got in a

big fight about it.
BASEBOARD
Me, Isaac and those other two guys were in this church sanctuary
and we were getting ready to do something that required us to
strip off our clothes. So we’re mostly naked and just covering up.
And then I remember I did this weird move where I threatened
to kick Isaac from the back so he shot his legs up into the air and
then slammed them accidentally against the baseboard and hurt
himself.
I remember I kept checking the time. I was sitting with this

younger guy. I don’t know what I was waiting for. I remember
at that point I turned to the kid and said “It ain’t good to make
yourself so vulnerable.”
2080
THREE METERS
I was watching a montage of that one girl while I was running
down the street, adding as many photographs of her as I could
to the montage because it gave me more distance to stable. I had
three meters which determined the speed and distance I could
travel. It was like resolve, effort, and something else. I ran down
my Charldon street as far as I could to escape from the demon
man, who was basically a demon version of my father
When I returned I hid the headset under a bureau in the kitchen.

And then I stepped into the next room and he was waiting for
me on the stairs, asking where my paper submission was. He ex-
pected a paper answering questions about what I did and why I
did it and why I was sorry or something. At this point he didn’t
even have a doll body. He was basically just a levitating bird skull
with some stuff attached to it, levitating at the top of the stair-
case.
We had been at some large party or get together for much of the
dream, but it wasn’t fun. It was really stuffy. There was this girl
named Verity. She was the girl whose pictures I carried to the end
of the street when I tried to escape but I didn’t have enough me-
ter power to make it out of my street.
2081
MAD BATTLE
There was huge battle with a colossal demon protruding from
the wall. And I had all of those powers and weapons and clothing
icons. It was like a real life video game, but it was horrible, and
I was taking too much damage and I eventually locked myself in
that doll house to escape for a while. That’s only because the gi-
ant boss had retreated back a little ways into a hole in the wall
with all of these swarming insects, and so I felt I had a little lee-
way—some time to change my equipment. But I knew if I heard
the swarming insects again I was in trouble. Normally I wouldn’t
even have enough time to pause the screen and equip diffferent
clothes and armor and items and weapons on me since the bat-
tle was so intense. And my dad was trying to get me to do that,
but I couldn’t, and that sucked because I hadn’t really equipped
anything beyond a lot of my starter gear, so I actually had a lot
of things that could have helped me but I didn’t think to equip
them before getting into the confrontation. It was this giant,
horrid godlike creature in the wall, on this outside land and I was
firing these insane rockets at it.
At the end of the dream I was in that room with all of these peo-
ple, and it didn’t even feel like me. And that woman or someone
was being picked up by her brother who was this super tall Mex-
ican or black man, and the woman who worked there found him
super attractive so she kept sidling up to him for photos and flirt-
ing and other things and it was pretty funny
2082
RED CAIMAN
I just left the lens crafters store and went running look for my
girlfriend and I asked a friend
Before this I was running up the stairs with my girlfriends broth-

er grabbing my chest from behind because of some thing we all
just had to do (something we heard from the loud speaker which
he took literally or twisted for comedic purposes) and I jokingly
said I was hoping for a different breast since the citation includ-
ed breast
I met someone and asked them where my girlfriend was and he

didn’t know about her whereabouts but he commented about a
super rude comment by the teacher he he just found in the guest-
book or something where she made a witty remark and he was
like “if you were pretty I’d ban you because my confidence can’t
take these blows” or something like that and I was like holy shit
what a mean thing to say even in jest
She was the girl who I was hanging out with in different places.
I first met her in the Londonberry basement where she was lying
on a couch downstairs by the fireplace. I laid beside her on the
couch and I kept sneaking kisses even when I barely knew her.
She was kind of a folk punk, which is usually very off-putting to
me, but she was cool.
And then later we were in a room that looked more like my Pine
Hill bedroom and we were lying on the floor talking about mu-
sic. She kept mentioning Pink Floyd songs so I asked what her
favorite album by then was, and she listed them for me and I told
her I hadn’t heard any of the ones she mentioned. Because they
were a band that she kept listening to
2083
Earlier there was that weird part where I was in that trailer in the
middle of nowhere after walking away from my mother and I had
to climb up on the wall in the kitchen and it was very strange and
I don’t remember exactly what that was all about
I remember at some point that I thought I was gonna have to

feed her oatmeal via a feeding tube. Not because it was necessary
but because she preferred it. And I’m like Jeez, I don’t know if I
can deal with that just because it creeps me out to think about.
Our relationship was certainly weird.
Oh man, towards the end there was that part with the candy.
That’s when we really fell for each other
This was right after the Pink Floyd part. Which I thought was
her favorite band. But then I asked her favorite band. And she
listed some other group I didn’t know. And pointed our some
poster on her wall of a fictional character she made that derived
from some other band. And she had liked them for a while. It
was a drawing.
Anyway then I was speaking to her via a television screen sus-

pended from my ceiling in my Londonberry bedroom and I lost
something that allowed us to communicate quietly, like the re-
mote. So it was coming in really loud and I was afraid my father
would hear the loud girl voice coming from my bedroom saying
sweet things to me. But it was so cute and I was so happy she was
saying what she was saying.
Oh my god the red caiman. It was one of the pointy-nosed croc-

odile things, and we called it the red caiman. It was vibrant red
and very quick. It chased us down the campus staircase on cam-
pus and followed us to the river area. My girlfriend helped cap-
ture it. I was worried about her safety at this time because this
was like the worst animal around. It was poisonous and deadly.
But she was so heroic. It got its snout wrapped and its legs tied
and people came to carry it away. That was such a huge achieve-
ment, because it was basically mythical. Creepy as fuck.
Red caiman, pointy about, swift and creepy as fuck
There was that part earlier when I was listening to Pink Floyd on
Spotify that I was looking at some other guys profile and I was
jealous he had many plays and friends but he had been a member
since 2006 so I was like oh well
So there was that part after Pink Floyd where she was dumping
out her candy collection or something... this was after the TV
Parr... and I didn’t know if she was allowing me to have some of
her candy but I was at least joking about stealing it all and I was
being silly and scooping it all up all excited and it was just a really
funny energetic scene of us both grabbing for falling candy
But then I saw a fastbreak bar and it was a while candy bar and
there weren’t many whole candy bars here and in like Whoaa
fastbreak bar, these were my favorite as a teenager and I kept say-
ing it over and over again so she’d hear it just because I didn’t
think I could stop myself from eating it and I wanted to give her
room to object before I did so.
I wish I remembered more about the earlier parts of the dream,

which had this very lonely and serious feel, with me walking
around in the desert and hanging out in that trailer. Everything
felt different after I met this girl in the Londonberry basement.
And at first I don’t think she liked that I kept sneaking quick
kisses. It was quite strange, honestly, but I was acting like it was a
joke and managing to get away with it. But over time she began
reciprocating and we ended up in Pine Hill kissing.
I didn’t know where she went at the end after the caiman was
caught, but when I saw what her teacher wrote in response to her
joking remark I knew that she was likely hurt and offended and
went off somewhere to be upset, so I was searching for her.
I had just passed the teacher a few minutes ago in the glasses
store in a mall.
There was some kind of council of man that I remember very

faintly but I don’t remember their purpose, but I kept having to
answer to them, or someone in my life did
I also remember being in the Londonberry utility room and

maybe working on my 8-track
ARE YOU CRAZY
Later I met up with her finally in some sort and I was playing
music on my phone quite loud. I walked over to her and started
talking. She seeemed weirded out. There was another guy there
too listening in on our conversation and he commented that her
name,’or least the name I kept using to address, was Welsh or
Gaelic for “I found a kate”. I thanked him, told him I would re-
member that and he walked off. I continued to speak to the girl
from the previous dream causally and lovingly. And she looked
at me like I was crazy and didn’t appear to know who I was. At
first she was like “ are you crazy?” And I said “no but perhaps
the volume at which I am playing this music is crazy and I went
and turned off the Spotify app. So then I continue talking to her,
while meanwhile she’s telling me she has no idea who I am. And
I definitely have the right person.
Then my mother calls me on video chat and she won’t hang up

and we’re getting into this loud fight on the video chat because
apparently it wouldn’t end until she closed it on her end. And
it was a really nasty sight and my father had to step in and they
were even mentioning police involvement if I didn’t cooperate,
like the police would have to end the chat. So I quickly some-
how sourced a police office and convinced him to pretend to
kill himself via explosives over video chat so that the video could
end. I have no idea why that was regarded as necessary but it
sure was surreal. And the scene of him dying somehow turned
into some scene from Star Wars episode involving fucking Jar Jar
Binks which lasted until I woke up. So weird.
2087
But anyway. That was the same girl from my previous dream. But
whereas I remembered her she did not remember me. Very weird
concept.
FALSE AWAKENING
This dream was essentially a false awakening in which I awoke, I
went on my blog posted about how weird it is that my precious
two dreams connected in the manner that they did, with the girl
carrying over but failing to remember me. I wrote out some short
psychological analysis and mentioned how the story was going
to be published or syndicated, but then I took down the post.
Someone left a comment saying that they enjoyed the post, but I
told them I took it down and would repost it elsewhere because
I wasn’t thinking clearly and had just woken up when I posted it
on this particular page. And then I saw I had lost a follower on
my main account but then I gained a new one a few minutes lat-
er, though it was just a dud account.
2089
MYSTERY GIRL
Some girl had come by Pine Hill house and came up to the deck
and just stayed for days without talking. Sometimes I would be
out there at the same time, and we would both be sitting at the
table, but if I would speak to her she wouldn’t answer. I remem-
ber one day she was vacuuming on the deck, so I got up and I
started moving the chairs around and moving my stuff out of her
way just so that it was easier to reach everything. I went inside
and got some kind of limited edition version of Depeche Mode’s
Black Celebration and it came in this jewelry box-type display
and it was really ornate and elaborate. It was a cassette, also. It
came with alternate covers and all sorts of little things. It’s defi-
nitely not something which actually exists. I was going to go out-
side and show the girl but when I went out she was gone, car and
all. After days she finally left and wasn’t coming back and it made
me feel shitty that we never really interacted. So I just went back
and listened to the tape.
Some of my family wanted to go walking so I went downstairs

and changed my pants and put on some shoes. Then I went out-
side and Scarlet was wandering the street and she got all excit-
ed and started jumping around to see me. At this point we were
back in Charldon.
Then at the very end there was a very meta part, where I was
teaching about teaching or something of that sort, and it created
this weird existential recursion which left me highly disoriented.
2090
THIRD STAGE
I was living out these two people in this small little paradisaical
place. I said “Why isn’t there more to the letter? Should there be
more?” And I suddenly got worried that this is part of the ‘ad-
vanced stages’. Parts of the letter started disappearing Although
one of the guys on our team then admitted he kept trying to get
them to leave with me, saying we must leave now, but they were
not really responding with the proper urgency.
There was this chart on the tree which I found. The girl looked
like Courtney. The letter was color coded talking about the peo-
ple who owned the area or some type of viral bacteria and we
were only in the second stage current from what we could tell,
but if it advanced any further into the third we would be very
much in trouble, because then the place would start to turn on us
and we would start questioning our reality and ourselves. Then
there were about five stages of decay, and each one had symp-
toms posted, and it freaked me out so much that something like
this was given to us and that we did not get out right away and
I had to climb a tree to reach it. I kept looking for clues as to
which one of the stages we were on and if we had crossed over to
2 or 3. Things will go south very very quickly once we reached 3.
The danger that we were trying to prevent was both political and
existential. I also remember us putting on a sort of play perfor-
mance at one point
2091
FINGER PUPPETS
Isaac and I were on a trip and stopped at a small gas station mart.
We saw these hats in stock that looked like Che Guevara hats
and we thought it weird given where we were so we purchased
them to troll the locals. We put them on and then went into a
Chik-Fil-A to use the restroom. But then when we went in, we
saw some people that we recognized from church and Isaac im-
mediately felt weird so we took off the hats. And I had also been
wearing a cloth asthma mask, so I probably looked like an ex-
tremist. He went off to the bathroom for a while and I sat in the
hallway waiting for him. There I sat across from this couple, and
there were these children playing to my right, and I was trying
to be silly around them, doing quirky things. While sitting by
those kids I wasn’t really being friendly but trying to be weird,
and at one point I materialized finger puppets of religious figures
like Mary and Jesus and I was gonna do weird things with them
but then Isaac exited the bathroom and went over to order some
food or something, and the kids started asking if they made my
day brighter. I remember at the end they asked if they made me
happy, because I didn’t smile much, and so I said of course and
I was smiling now, intentionally. Then they collectively turned
into an Asian woman and she put her fingers in my mouth and
start moving them around in front of my teeth, and I remem-
ber something like this happening once before apparently. So I
opened my mouth wider and let her past my teeth, and I just felt
her hands moving around in my cheek all slowly and sensually
while we stared at one another. Then Isaac returned for me and
it was time to head back.
2092
CANDY THIEF
I was at some holiday party I went around meeting like seven
people. Many of my cousins and relatives came over. One of
them had somewhere to go, so he left really early with a girl to
go to some event down the street and planned to leave shortly af-
ter getting back which bummed me out. This was after we were
all lying downstairs in the Londonberry house doing something
that I now forget. We were sitting around the television, listen-
ing to something religious which was really grating in my nerves.
Then I came upstairs and started cleaning off a paintball gun for
some reason because I was going to use it to mark something up.
And so this woman, who was later a guy, comes out and starts
asking me all these questions about if I’m ever going to sell my
place to my parents, and I’m trying to figure out if he thinks I
own this whole house or just my room. He asks if they have to
walk all the way downstairs to do their wash all the time and
I lied and said I mostly do their laundry for them just to make
it sound like I’m more helpful because that’s what this person
seemed to want to hear. Then they started talking about how
their mom had a nuclear warhead which she took from her com-
pany and how she was such a hero for it, and I was thinking what
the fuck. Then he starts talking about music and Sandy Pearl-
man. So I interrupt with “Blue Öyster Cult!” And his face lit up
once he realized I knew what he was talking about. Then he starts
singing some song I didn’t know, and he was all into it. Then
some karaoke plays in the room. At first I was trying to figure out
if it related to what we were talking about. It sounded like some
80’s metal, and when he opened his mouth to sing he sounded
exactly like Bruce Dickinson—so much so that I didn’t believe
he was actually the one singing until he stopped partway through
the chorus and I realized it was really him and then I was super
2093
impressed. He was a very short guy. He was four and a half feet,
so it was doubly impressive that he was capable of that. But while
the song sounded like Iron Maiden, the lyrics, from what I could
tell, were “Come All Ye Faithful.”
When we were playing games in the Londonberry basement, the

Christian thing came up because my paternal grandparents made
a comment about how Jesus lives in one part of our bodies and
not the other, and my parents interjected, and I’m just sitting
there in silence thinking “Oh my god, I can’t believe I’m listening
to adults argue about which part of their body the dead Jewish
ghost man lives.”
Lots of candy had been put out for the company, so I kept filling
my pockets with Reese’s candy and sneaking off to my bedroom
to store it.
YOUNG AND FULL OF LIFE
There was that black lady who passed by my table at the restau-
rant twice and she made this face after she said some weird for-
eign word and then looked surprised to see me. It happened
again later so right at the end of the dream we—Asia and
I—were like okay etc is the deal and we tried tinting her for ques-
tioning.
But the room was soooo crowded. It was a huge restaurant din-
ing room with many tables all appearing to be separated by na-
tionality. The walls were filled with these sort of computer scripts
that had been written to do with some kind of operation. Defi-
nitely something I had written. So it must have e been implying
that I owned this place, if if partially.
Right before this I was sitting against the wall in the corner of
this room or a nearby room and I was next to all these guys, once
of whom was some old British musician. Everyone was having
their name called one by one and being allowed to take their
leave. It was a weird ceremony. Like graduation. But existential.
And I remember the guy looking at me and giving me advice be-
cause he thought I was young and full of potential, so I turned
to face him and he told me to build some muscle and to pursue
such and such and then to meet him back here one day, and I
agreed with him but silently I knew that it was impossible due
to how sick I was, but he was being sincere so I didn’t want to
refute him and tell him this wasn’t possible, because he was see-
ing me as some young and virile person to whom to pass on his
wisdom and I didn’t want to shoot it down and tell him I had
already found my calling or that I would soon be dead. Then his
name was called and he went wandering out the door. It was a
2095
weird moment. This is when more people began flooding into

the room and suddenly it came to be more like a banquet or din-
ing hall. There was so much more to this dream and this is just
the end. Unfortunately my recall was poor today.
RHIZOME
We all planned to get tattoos. I remember she planned to get an
impromptu tattoo so I was considering it as well, though it nev-
er happened. She came to my house, but I was downstairs doing
my own thing for a while and when I came back upstairs she had
been gone for an hour and I was so upset my father didn’t tell me
he was taking her back.
But yeah at the end I was looking around my room for her CD-
R, and then I looked her up online. Most of the dream wasn’t
about her and there was a lot of stuff in between.
Like the part where I was wandering the cities just a few minutes
ago, and talking about let’s go to Disney. And then my friend
fell off the docks after I warned him. And we needed a scientist-
shaman who came into help. The shaman was already there help-
ing with some other problems, but then I told asked him if he
dealt with chips too, or I forget the word I used. But my friend
developed what looked like a computer chip on his slimy from
falling in the water and mutating. He was mutating rapidly and
uncontrollably and it was scary. And the guy agreed to go in and
check him out. I think my friend wss embarrassed or offended
that I told the guy and brought him in. So the guy went in, and
my friend was lying in bed, and as the guy went over to try and
help him my friend seemed possessed, and he was holding a yel-
low and black switchblade steel knife. I had to go take it away
from him. It was sad. The shaman scientist guy was over fixing an
unrelated task for us, something relating to hardware or comput-
ers. I don’t know why I keep calling him a shaman. He was just
some nerd scientist guy. But I told him about my friend
2097
Before this my friend and I were sneaking around the city maybe
with one other guy. Through arches and museums. And we were
planning some heist. We were in this house at one point deciding
to do something weird, where we made a copy of a video game
every day for a month to throw people off
There was that girl that found me after twenty years. Some Cana-
dian I knew online. And I was talking to that guy about it while
sitting out on the sidewalk and these little kids were standing
around us in the street. They were just playing, by they were very
close to us. And while talking about how long it had been since
talking to that Canadian girl I noted “I was thirteen then but
I’m thirty three now,” and I felt old when the kids were listen-
ing. Then I jumped up and to the kids I said “Wait! What year is
it! Who is the president!” And then immediately began laughing
“Hahahaha, just kidding! Of course I know!” I was pretending I
was from the future, or that’s what I meant it to seem like. Then
me and my friend skipped off and we went on to the heist part.
And before talking about the Canadian part where he been emp-
tying the truck in the parking lot which has been used tk go on
the youth trip and I found the girl’s backpack and it said some-
thing like COREY IS THE BEST on it, totally misspelling my
name but it was hilarious. She had left it behind, forgetting to
take it with her.
We got really close on the trip early in the dream. It felt like a
youth trip, but I believe my parents oversaw part of it. We were
driving on the road and then stopped at a hotel for a while. But
she and I were very cuddly and sitting next to each other in the
car. We were both sitting up front. I think she was driving, at
least in the second half of the trip. And I was sitting up there
with her. And so I was so self conscious of my stomach ache

‘cause I felt gassy, but she didn’t hold it against me.
I think I ate a ton of candy and snacks at the hotel. I don’t know
how intimate we got. I don’t think it was too intimate. We were
just super cuddly. It’s possible we kissed, but I don’t remember
doing that. It was just very infatuated.
At the end of the dream before looking up her bandcamp I was

looking around my room for any CD-R’s she left over. And I
thought she did but I couldn’t find it so looked it up online. I
found two Bandcamp pages. First one I found was old and only
had one album on it from like ten years ago, but then after a lit-
tle more digging I found a more recent account with a changed
name that had like twenty albums and was modern project.
Before looking her up I remember walking down the stairs into

the foyer of my Londonberry house (where these scenes took
place) and thinking that I wanted her to be my muse in these end
times... and then I wandered out into the front yard and that’s
when I wanted to listen to her music while standing in my yard
on this sunny day, so I went back in to quickly look for her CD,
since I hadn’t listened to it since getting back from the trip.
I think it was after the yellow knife part with my friend. Then I
left the room. Exited the house. Came back on for a CD and the
friend was gone. Although the house that the friend was at didn’t
look like Londonberry. It changed between them and now.
What were we heisting! I don’t know. We were plotting some-

thing and trying not to be tok suspicious while walking around
these really rich buildings and colleges in public and I remember
trying to look as natural and inconspicuous as I could in case
cameras were watching. And I was literally hopping around and

being enthusiastic and talking about going to Disney a world
That’s when we actually decided to go to Disney world even

though it was very late and the rides or park were likely closed
or mostly closed. And we walked out onto these docks and I
warned the guy since it was pitch black around the docks. And
he walked into the black and I heard a splash. He was like get
me our! FuckB get me our! I couldn’t do anything so I just guid-
ed him back around. It was fairly shallow. So he swam stubborn-
ly around to where I could just grab him and pull him up.. and
something had infected him in that time. He started mutated
like crazy and it was horrible. Remember that X-men movie that
I watched a lot when I was like ten... there was that politician guy
who mutated. It was kind of like that. But shape-changing rapid-
ly between all these awful bloated forms.
The girl that was with me in the beginning definitely liked me.
It was mutual. Like I said, she came back to my house after we
returned home from the trip. But I went down in my room...
no longer remember where I was doing. And when I came up I
learned my dad took her home an hour earlier. And I got so up-
set that nobody told me.
I remember going through my CD case looking for a CD to lis-

ten to when I was with the girl. I was thumbing through it for a
while.
I remember thinking of Jasmine at one point along the way, but

negatively so, like ugh fuck that girl. She was a jerk. My sister
was on the trip with us all too. Sitting in the back seat. So I re-
member her giving her input sometimes when me and the girl
were speaking. Ugh I so wish I could remember what that girl
and I spoke about. There was a lot of conversations, and, later,
cuddling. She was just so considerate and understanding of me.

It felt really nice. Because even though there were nerves, like in
all cases of early infatuation. She also made me feel very comfort-
able with her welcoming and nonjudgmental behavior and I ap-
preciated that and it was great to find out that she was fond of
me as I was of her.
I went out to the stores at nighttime. Not sure if this was during
or after my time with the girl. Might have been during. We might
have gone out to the arena or some city palaces in the night time
after we or when we got the hotel. And I just remember us walk-
ing around being goofy.
I stayed back in the bathroom for a while because I had stomach

aches in the morning when we were supposed to get back on the
road and I was so ashamed. It was such inopportune timing. And
most of the others were already in the car waiting to take off. But
the girl saved my seat right next to her up front.
At the end I finally found the bandcamp of that girl who I had
been riding with in the car earlier and I was like whoaaaa. Her
bandcamp name was something with the word them at the end
of it so I assumed it was some gender thing. Rhizome? Rhi-
zothem? I don’t know but she spent the first part of he dream
at my house after we all went on a drive which seemed related
to church camp and we stopped at this place. And I was just
very excited when seeing her Bandcamp, excited at the prospects
of being with a girl who had actually done all of these creative
achievements. Someone who felt like my equal and who I could
be proud of. It was very exciting.
• Omosyejos. The symbol was a yellow circular with a spiral

on it, kind of a rough spiral, and it was supposed to be one of
the southwestern states original name before modern times. And
we’re like... “Do it for omosyejos!” (Pronounced Oh-Mose, Yay-

Hose)
LABYRINTHINE ROOM
I spent a while in this labyrinthine underground space while my
family and others were upstairs.
At the end I was asking my mom what beer she wanted. What
size cans. We were all sitting around on the couch in what looked
like one of our old Florida vacation places. I had just made that
falsetto singing melody after a melody we heard playing on the
television or radio and Asia said “Wow, you’re good at that,” and
I said “Yesssss I ammmm.” Then I started doing it again but I got
cut off when my mom asked if I was wanting to just get the movie
out of the way with now, and I said I’m tired and hungry and
so I would rather do something now. Wasn’t up for desert and I
didn’t care about the movie but I could have done with some piz-
za.
I was down in that labyrinth basement watching Kenan and Kel

or something for a while. I remember when my father came by at
one point I was banging on the pipes to get his attention and he
looked over the ledge and I’m asking when the company is leav-
ing. The guests they had over. He said they were setting up his
new laptop, my dad’s, but they ran into a snag and he’ll probably
just be leaving soon.
Definitely something weird and romantic going on in the base-

ment earlier. And I remember when my father came by we were
wrapped around each other kind of weird and I was trying not
to let him see what was going on. Oh god, now I remember.
After these part we were at Nanny and Poppop’s house staying
overnight in a room, and were being a bit amorous on the mat-
tress and it seemed like it might lead somewhere, but then as
she was taking her clothes off she basically just rolled off the
2103
edge of the mattress and vanished. The mattress was on the floor
in front of the television. And I couldn’t find her or bring her
back. I was lucid so I was like what now. I got up and wandered
around the room. I went looking through Nanny and Poppop’s
shelves because I was in what was supposed to be their guest
room, and I was taking off the DVD slip covers to look for
‘weird dream things’ like inconsistencies and surreality. But all
the DVDs matched the slipcovers and everything was in its right
cases and I was like what the hell why is it all correct and con-
sistent. And there were all those little ornaments and expensive
things on that shelf that I had to be careful of.
Did this lead up to that part where I was carefully setting crystals
on some surface and remember telling a woman “If you see that
I’ve missed any of these very small diamonds then just let me
know.” Because some of them were extremely small, and I could
only pick them up by touching them with my index finger and
then they would stick to my finger.
THE BATHROOM-KITCHEN-
ARCADE
I spent a really long type applying false hair and a wig in this
bathroom, which is where I peed a long time. And read that
weird review about a guy getting food poisoning and having
a bad experience in this bathroom. And then made a bowl of
Frosted Flakes while that other guy walked out with a huge bowl
of Frosted Flakes mixed with waffle crisp mixed with lucky
charms and more. So the bathroom was strangely public and
partly kitchen and partly arcade, apparently.
So at the end I took the girl by the arms. And I’m like, “okay, hear
me out, I would like for you to go on a date with me, and I’ve
broken up all these incentives into two categories just s.o I can
hopefully convince you to date me two days in a row, because I’m
completely crazy like that.” And she was trying to mask the cute
smile on her face as I took her by the shoulders and said this and
we walked over to the corner of the room. Towards the booths
and the arcades games where I remember this Asian girl was sit-
ting. She kept asking me to show what’s under my hat, or to wear
this funny wig with a headband, and other things like that, and
I’m like I’ll do this one tomorrow if you do this one today, and
I’ll do this one today if you do this one tomorrow.
What was the part earlier where I was our walking around in the
drive way. It felt like creation fest. I was talking to my mother.
Oh god yeah it was me and my mother and we were at a base hall
game. Well no we were at a place and a game just happened to be
going on. Little league. So we parked and we had this argument
about religion. And as she walked away I yelled very loud “you’ve
been waiting two thousand years for a lie that will never show!”
2105
Or some crack about how the rapture was a lie, and at that point
I realized a game was going on and then I worried people didn’t
like me over here yelling and that I would be talked to. There was
indeed a guy who came over and approached me and he did have
that nervous youth leader Vernon type approach that I’m so fa-
miliar with, the “weirdly meek and clearly judgmental” attitude.
He asked me something to do with my mouth. Like can you not
do such and such if it bothers your throat. And I’m like “many
things bother my throat”. He was trying to convince me to not
do something specific with my mouth. But it benefited him, as I
saw it, so it seemed disingenuous. The two of us walked to this
backroom. As I got half way there I was like wait I forgot some-
thing and then I ran back to the car to get something. And then I
came back to him. He took me to a side door in a building where
I had a job interview or something. Entered into this big room
that was divided into sections. So it kinda felt like a hockey rink
in a weird way, or skating rink, because there was the little hold-
ing part when you first walk in and people were sitting, so I was
sitting there for a minute with a couple girls and women. Before
I had to go to the bathroom and then walking down the strip to
get to the bathroom. Felt like the Walmart strip where you find
the bathroom. And on my way there I passed this very attractive
woman with black hair kinda punky or emo looking.
Okay so then these people took me into this office. I had to is

all of this weird stuff in my hand. That’s when I first saw the girl,
on my way to the bathroom. I thought whoaaaa and I was con-
vinced she thought the same when she saw me. It was a mutual
“whoaaa, this person works here and will be working here with
me?” Although I remember I didn’t have the coolest walk on the
way to the bathroom. My strides weren’t very long. Very small
steps and kinda weird haha.
So when I got into the stall I pissed for a while. And someone I
was reading some comment w guy made about when he was in
this stall with bad intestinal issues and how he has a problem in
this still bad it was just weird although it seemed totally normal
to be reading this here while I pissed. And when I came out there
was a young couple, and I said “usually when I’m in this situa-
tion and reading such reviews it’s because I looked something up
online about a problem I’m having so it’s kinda nice to be here
when I’m not having that kind of problem because then if just
makes me feel fortunate I’m not having that kind of issue right
now.” And I was laughing about it. For some reason that was fun-
ny. And I almost left the room; but then I saw the guy who was
using the stall beside me at the sink across the room so I was like
oh geez I should at Leary wash my hands for appearance sake,
and so I went over to where he was at the sink, except it seemed
he was actually just making cereal, and we joked for a moment
before he left with his girl and as they left she loudly made fun of
him for combining five cereals and I’m like damn I want to com-
bine some too. But I think I only combined two because I didn’t
want it to seem like I was copying him.
This is where that other girl enters the room and she starts talk-
ing about my big hat. And I believe that she was the first one to
sort of ask me out, ask me if I wanted to spend time together, but
then I kind of ignored that question and then after a few minutes
of conversation I came back with that while “I want to date you
two days in a row” line, which she thought was cute, and I had
broken up all the requests we had been making of each other and
all the little jokes and things we had talked about wanting to do
into two columns, so that if we did this one today and then we
could do this other tomorrow. So I had made two balanced dates
out of it all. I remember there was some tv show playing in the
background in the diner area of the room. Some cartoon. A kids

show it felt like, or a weird anime.
But yeah it seems I had just been welcomed into a new job posi-
tion. So I was kind of just meeting all these people. The women
near the entryway were kind to me.
There was a ton of philosophical stuff at the beginning which led

into this dream but that may have been me sleepwalking in reali-
ty, caught in an confusional arousal.
ALLEY
I was in some rundown alley way, city street, in the dinner hours.
I spent a while sitting with a guy across the street chatting about
these ideas I had for a book which I told him kinda got ‘spinal
tapped’.. as in I was able to write the story so quickly because I
wasn’t being serious about it. And only after a certain point did I
start to think it was good
At one point early on his girlfriend or wife came over and I tried
to move to let her sit next but I him and I said I can sit across
from you two, and she was like Aww no no that’s not necessary,
I’ll sit across from you two
I was going to stay overnight with here people. Then the guy was
going to go walking down the street with his bags of laundry.
Meanwhile I went in the building. But after a couple minutes I
was thinking damn I should have gone with him. And I threw
my hat on and went to the door. But I looked outside and he was
nowhere in sight and it seemed like wars were going on
So then be eventually came back, but it wasn’t him, it was my fa-

ther. They were supposed to be the same individual within my
dream though. He came back and said that he asked some of his
friends to police the area. “Police the area from WHAT?” And
he has some really weird spiel to give that sounded like FOX
news talking points, and I’m like I can’t believe what I’m hearing.
I can’t believe you’ve been bought by propaganda. And he imme-
diately got vicious and started cursing at me. And I’m like “You
wanna know one way you can see through propaganda? Go to
a news station, any news station, and look at a story that you’ve
observed with your own eyes in reality and compare that to their
coverage, and then apply that same difference to the stories that
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you HAVEN’T visually witnessed.” Kind of a weird take, but

that’s what I came up with.
“You’ve become a right wing extremist. There are so many who

would be hurt and upset by the path you’ve chosen to follow. In-
cluding the Jesus you claim to serve.” And he’s just dropping f-
bombs left and right. And by now we’re in the Charldon kitchen.
Both of just yelling and cursing and it was to aggressive for me to

deal with. So I started to walk away, and he had this DVD box
set in his hand and as I was walking away he angrily said I got
this, but I don’t need this; but so you want it, and I said no, keep
it as I walked downstairs. Kind of a weird little moment lasting
only a few seconds which made it feel more realistic.
At the end of the dream I was so hurt and upset by the conflict
and returned to the basement, where I was now lucid and think-
ing some weird though about I wonder if most dreams that end
badly end on a misunderstanding, and some weird thing about
me being the one who went insane, when everyone else is seeing
one thing and in seeing another. It was a weird though
PRESENTATION
I was in a car with Asia and dad. It was a bench seat, so it just have
been the truck. Dad was on the phone asking about some sign he
saw on a car in front of us having to do with some “Robin Hood
pricing”—a weird yellow sign we almost hit. But when he got
on the phone he started talking in some weird Irish accent and
being silly and I got so angry at his uselessness and how he was
just going to make the person hang up. Then he did that for two
rounds before he got to his point but the woman wasn’t listening
so he said it again “Listen, [woman’s name], I’m gonna need you
to help me. Can you explain?” Then she started to answer.
Okay we were on our way to that place that I had been baking
cookies for all night. There was this high stakes event I had to at-
tend late at night. I couldn’t miss it and wished to have several
things ready by the time I went. I needed cookies. I needed some
presentation where I added some music to a video presentation
on some topic. It was very detailed and confusing and I waited
until the last plausible moment so I was not likely to finish the
third part of the presentation and so I was just gonna give the
guy an IOU for that.
This dream was a bit more involved and a lot went on in the
kitchen scene but I am too tired to keep it going.
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THE OCTOPUS IS HUGGING
THE MUFFIN
At the beginning I was in my bedroom looking through old stuff.
I opened an old box that I hadn’t opened since 2018 and I found
some dirty clothes stuffed in their that smelled like juice and
they were stained. And I was like “Whoaaaa, was this from that
night in 2018?” and I was flashing back to some date. Then I
was thinking about all of those things I once saved for my future
child in sealed envelopes and boxes but threw them out in 2019,
so I was wondering if I regretted throwing them away now and
I concluded that ai did. So Jeiezza and I were just going through
this stuff together and this is when an octopus somehow showed
up. It wasn’t too large. Only about a foot and a half long. Al-
though it was all curled up at times. I hated handling it but I had
to do so at times just to transfer it, and so I would carefully grab
it by one of its tentacles, and it kept breaking and it was freaking
me out, although I was braver in my dream than I imagine I’d be
in reality, where I’m more likely to just make Jeiezza take care of
it, hahaha.
What was I doing when I found an octopus. I think I just hap-

pened to be looking through old boxes of stuff, and I found a live
octopus among the contents much like one would expect to find
worms or moths.
It was just me and Jeiezza the whole time trying to secure this
octopus, and so at the end we all went into the kitchen with the
basin.
I was on this outdoors deck sort of thing and I was dumping out
boxes and Tupperware trying to make a bath for him.
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I had it in a little basin bath. But then it escaped. And I had to

chase it down. It kept going into and under things so I remember
having to pull it out by this really long limb or tentacle and I had
to pull slowly because it kept breaking off. It was so weird.
At the end, I was walking through the kitchen with Jeiezza, while
going to transfer the octopus to a larger basin, and Jeiezza was
asking if I wanted to watch X-Files. And I said “Maybe in a few
minutes.” And then I saw a box of blueberry muffins sitting on
top of the microwave and said “Oh, when did we get muffins!?”
Then I paused, “Oh no wait they’re probably the same muffins
from before... the old ones.” And then I stepped closer and no-
ticed they were new, “Oh no, wait, they’re new ones.” And I go
to grab the box and bring it over to the coffee counter where I’m
working. I think I was holding it by one end, and it falls over and
two of the muffins fall into the thing with octopus. And so right
before the dream comes to a close, I’m quickly trying to remove
the muffins so it doesn’t harm the octopus, and I’m asking Jeiezza
if they’re toxic to the octopus. I fished one out, but the octopus
quickly grabbed onto the other. And I yell “Nooooo! He’s hug-
ging the muffin!” in a funny bit exasperated voice as I put one of
the only two remaining dry ones in my mouth. Then I woke up.
THE SILVER OWL
• If the dream means pleasure...
• Ugh, the smell is so nauseating.
• I’ve been hanging out on the handicap ramp with breasts in my

underarms.
There was that earlier dream where Jeiezza and I were sleeping in
the Londonberry basement. I kept going and lying down beside
her in bed, and then something happened and she would end up
somewhere else, so I would find her and then lie down beside her
again. I’m foggy on the details and this only describes an impres-
sion, but I feel that this continued for a while. It was calming and
serene, though.
Then there was that one scene where mom and dad were sitting
in the living room listening to some sermon and I got so upset at
how the sermon was misportraying some belief system. I think it
was Gnosticism. They were being given a ridiculous and inaccu-
rate version of it and I spoke up and it turned into an argument.
Later I was with that girl who drove me home. We met online
and I asked where she was from and told her I was from Virginia.
Then there was some political talk presumably meant to test if
I was actually from here, like asking about the names of the lo-
cal governors or something of that sort. Next thing I know she’s
dropping me off after an evening out. I get out of the car and I’m
sort of leaning on the passenger’s side door, hoping for a kiss. I
notice that she’s not coming in for a kiss, and so I say “I guess this
is where we part?” And she smiles and says “Yeah.” She did ap-
pear to like me, but I sensed that she wished to take things slow,
so I backed off and smiled and said my goodbyes.
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It was then that those other guys showed up. And there was that
guy in the well, or some underground place that I was staring
down into. And they called out to me saying “Wait! We know
you!” These guys apparently went to my sisters school and had
known of me. They talked about how mysterious I seemed to
everyone. They had some nickname for me, like the Silver Owl
or something weird like that. And it was hilarious. I was cracking
up because I had never heard of this. The other girl was still sit-
ting there and I knew it was making me sound so cool in front of
her.
SHALLOW WATER DROWNING
I struggled for so long to get to sleep. And when I did I had
an extremely lucid dream. Where I was just trying to stay asleep
and have a good dream. And I just went out and these wondered
these streets.
I remember when I first wandered out lucid into these middle

eastern type streets, semi-golden, and I was a bit paranoid of
what I’d find. A bit anxious. I started to hum quietly with little
bits of singing thrown in but then I got worried that it would
carry over into reality and that I was singing in my sleep so I
stopped. At one point I got down on my hands and knees and
began to crawl. And I thought this is ridiculous what am I doing.
The streets were quite empty at this point. Then as I eventually
reached the sort of town square area. I saw people all over. And
they were kind to me. I was or relieved. And I just kept this go-
ing.
I wandered until came to theater. I sat beside that man that was
kind to me. Felt like Anthony. We talked and exchanged info for
a few minutes. His name was Timmy, I believe. And I told him
I was Tendon. And he said ooooh like...? And then I started do-
ing the gesture with my arms as if to say “Yes... like the sinew, the
fibers in our body.” And he said “Ahhh, cooool!” I remember see-
ing the V family sitting in the row in front of me.
More and more people started crowding into the aisles. There
was a girl sitting at my feet staring at me. There were people
crowding me from both sides. Didn’t make sense since the the-
ater wasn’t even crowded. People were just taking to this spot.
Which was towards the back in a short bench.
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We all got up past way through the film and wandered out into
these corridors. I came upon a huge pile of painters lying on the
ground with a couple other paintings mixed in. While people
were looking through Someoke ask this this one you’re. And I
saw a painting leaning against the wall which was unfinished.
It was a picture of two men and an alien and one of the men def-
initely looked like me. There were three versions of it leaning on
the wall and all of them were incomplete and only colored. I stat-
ed at up close for a while saying it soesnt resemble my style at
all. Then I say “Oooooh, I was high” in a funny voice, mostly in
the aim of being funny to the guy standing next to me. A middle
aged Asian man. Then I went and turned and walked, but right
as I did so I heard someone struggling and I turned to see the old
Asian man face down drowning in a puddle of water on the floor
by the painting. People were freaking out but not really doing
anything about it and basically just watched it happen. I walked
out of the building frightened.
Someone began asking questions if a Pokémon attack could be

used on humans, and someone else said said yes. Then I started
freaking out thinking that I needed to teach something Calm
Mind real quick so I could use it to protect myself if that was the
case. It was really creepy. And the people gradually poured out
of the little space and rejoined me as I was pacing around in the
courtyard thinking of Pokémon moves that could be used to pro-
tect me from possible Pokémon attacks.
WHOOSHER
Whoa, okay, this dream definitely continued from the last. I
spent most of the dream hanging around with this old man in
the theater which was the theater from the previous dream. It
was also connected to a bookstore, or at least it had one in its
lobby. The man who ran the bookstore was a kind old man who
I sort of befriended.
There was a while where I was in the bookstore speaking with

that woman who was stocking the shelves. Oooooh it was about
ice cream flavors. She was talking to some girl that I was with.
Ally? I think I was with Ally. The woman was asking for ideas
for flavor combinations since she was currently mixing and she
liked involving the guests in the process. So she would allow re-
quests. She was definitely focusing on Ally and didn’t seem to be
looking at or listening to me, which just feels how it is in real life.
But then when the lady said “What about a little peach added
in there?” I interjected and said “Nah, not peach. Maybe some-
thing like pear would be awesome!” And I think she has already
added blueberry or something like that, so she questioned “Pear?
Hmmmm.” I went over to where she was behind the counter and
attempted to look but did not see pear on the list of potential op-
tions. I remember her making a face when she noticed how tall
I was. Not a bad face. I just remember how she expressed herself
when I got up close, because she was a smaller older woman.
Earlier while in this store I instant messaged Joel and asked him
for insight into his thoughts on something, or his opinion in
something... possibly locations... and the dude was so kind I was
surprised, he typed out like twenty messages telling me and I had
to go back through them and like all of them. I didn’t expect
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such a kind and thorough response from him, since he’s a

stranger and he’s also quite popular, so I didn’t figure he’d have
time to answer me.
That part where he was looking through inventory and he had

the old Dragon Ball Z Dragon Boxes and he was working to
price them. But I asked him if he was missing the second volume,
because that’s the rare one and I hadn’t noticed it previously, and
the condition for all the rest was pretty rough.
At one point we had to cross from one building to another we

were not too far from the cave area that we had been in the previ-
ous dream. And in the distance we saw some Zapdos type beast
in the sky and it freaked me out to see it in person and it went to
do an attack on us, but the guy stood between us, protecting us.
He didn’t seem to get too hurt and continued walking with me
but it was a weird freaky moment.
I remember later being in the theater and I was doing this weird
thing through the crowd where I was whooshing through the
room backwards. It wasn’t like a typical theater at this point
since there were no seats. It felt more like a huge dark room in
which everyone was standing around talking, although the room
was on a gradation. I was trying to be funny and I whooshed
past a few people I knew. I would just do these backward glides
from point to point, whooshing closer and closer to the head
(bottom) of the amphitheater. But I lightly hit someone at one
point and had to apologize. Not a full-on hit but an overt graze.
And there was once I accidentally stopped inside of a four way
group meeting and they did not seem too happy about it. Then
I whooshed to the bottom front of the theater where there was a
boy, with some sort of white bunny, and an alarm clock, and this
alarm was beginning to go off with the end of the film, telling
people to “Now go to sleep!”And I somehow synced it with

my phone app and so I was blaring the same message through
my phone simultaneously albeit with some time delay which I
tried to remedy. And so I’m just sitting down there like a weirdo
broadcasting this in front of the theater for no real reason next
to the boy and his bunny even though no one asked me to.
Then it came time to leave as everyone seemed to have left, or

was leaving. At this point I had grown slightly paranoid that peo-
ple were waiting to get me/hurt me on my way out, since I had
felt paranoid since whooshing. So I was sneaking around and
entering in the ceiling and whatnot, afraid to see people. But
nothing came of that worry. I remember being in the ceiling and
ductwork for a while and that was a bit cramped. That’s when I
dropped down into the foyer and met back up with the old guy
who owned the bookstore and was presumably waiting to drive
me home. I remember while walking back I was planning on say-
ing to him that he was the only true friend I made tonight.
At at the end I opened up the door. There was a robot in the oth-
er. It didn’t look very humanoid, sort of like a slot machine with
a square head. I had dropped down from the ceiling. I said hi to
the robot. I noticed a little mess on the floor of broken bulbs and
dust which had been tucked away to the side of the room. And
after looking around and wondering where to go and asked the
robot which one is the right door. Robot points me to this one
before me, “Only way in, only way out!”
I open the door to the cold air and the old man is waiting for me
outside. I say a simple “Hey” and I wake up.
DRUNK DRIVING MOTHER
My mom crashed the car after we had just gotten to our destina-
tion city and we’re browsing around. We pulled in to Walmart.
We were with the whole family and Nanny and Poppop. Mom
was drunk. We were at Walmart but then when mom said “Nah,
that was boring.” I was like this isn’t good. She crashed the car
and I jumped out with a half can of Pepsi and just went walking
into the store to separate myself from them.
Meanwhile some manager wandered out of the store and went

over to look at the accident and I was already far enough away
from them when he came out that it didn’t look like I was a part
of the mess. So I wandered into the store sipping on a can of Pep-
si and looking like a total badass. I think I still even had my ear
pierced. And I go walking around, and I go to the right where
there is this Halloween section and I’m looking and browsing all
these figures. That’s when this creepy large oafish person shows
up, very tall, like over seven feet tall. They start forcing this sound
clip on me as I’m walking around, and it’s difficult to explain
what that means, but they were forcing this audio file on me,
very abstractly, and I was humoring them at first like “Hah, yeah,
I know how to do that,” or “Haha, yeah that’s cool.” But then
something happened along the way where I accidentally kicked
them when they tried to do something to me, and this angered
them, so they lifted me off the ground, and they kept me there in
this horrible position and wouldn’t let me go, and I kept bribing
them to let me down by trying to offer them things like new au-
dio and other things, but they kept keeping me there. So then I
tried to fight them but it didn’t work. I think I finally started to
break free from them around the end of the dream. It was just a
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bad situation. They didn’t seem all there in the brain and I don’t
even know what they were.
So anyway the whole family had been driving in the car. It was
late at night and we were entering some city. Oh, I remember
there was this special building that had high altitude but it was
all indoors and I asked if they hosted concerts there. I might have
had a girlfriend or someone with me. It felt like it at that mo-
ment. And then I was like “Ooooh, Walmart,” and I pointed out
how this particular area was nice because everything was con-
centrated right here in this little spot. So we were gonna find a
place to lodge or live right here. Nanny and Poppop were in the
backseat with me—Nanny to my immediate left, Poppop to the
left of her—and we were eating something in the backseat, like
snacks. I remember chatting with Nanny in the dark of the car
as we were about to get out, but mom was drunk and speeding
around the parking lot and I remember telling dad to bash her
or take the wheel by force and he wouldn’t. So we’re at her mer-
cy as she is speeding around seeing this all as some game. Then
we almost parked in the parking lot but she goes “Ehhh, that was
boring,” as if simply parking was too easy and simple, and I didn’t
like the sound of that. Then she whizzes through, barely missing
a car and hits the side of the building. That’s when I got out and
distanced myself.
I fell asleep amid breathing problems, and it seems my breathing

problems morphed into some present or holiday that I was to re-
ceive customarily, but it was something no one understood, so
I had to keep explaining the custom to everyone and why I re-
ceived it and when.
This was before the store scene when we were all at one of our
houses. I got in a fight with dad at one point but I don’t remem-
ber the circumstances. I do remember a part where Asia want-

ed to play video games with dad and she manipulated the situa-
tion and did it just to keep me from playing something or doing
something else. I was off in some other room if the house doing
something.
I’m totally missing a big part of what happened in the house be-
fore we all left. Oh well.
MARRYING THE MANNEQUIN
I had gotten engaged to some girl earlier in this dream but it
didn’t work out because once she discovered alcohol she was
constantly drunk and I broke up with her while she was black-
out drunk and didn’t think she would even remember what hap-
pened.
Then later on I found this other girl who was a mannequin and
I got engaged to her, and I remember thinking in my mind that
marriage is not as sacred in my mind as it used to be, thinking
back to the drunk woman who tarnished the ideal and how I’m
saddened that that had to happen, but that I nonetheless love my
current fiancée and I am excited to be with her
At one point we were lying on the floor in some dim-lit room

with the television on in the background and we were just cud-
dling and I was telling her about some video I did that she hadn’t
watched yet and I told her we could watch it sometime but I said
it in a way where it didn’t pressure her to watch it now.
We had had company over, and this was all in the Londonberry
house. Oh, Nanny and Poppop were the company, and And I re-
member standing in the fridge and showing Nanny some vegan
wrap and asking her to dip it in some specific sauce and give it a
try. She was reluctant, but once she did so she really liked it and
then started talking about maybe it’s time to make a change, and
to change up her tastes and interests in ways not thought of pre-
viously. I was so into that and tried to encourage her. For some
reason the kitchen looked like Pine Hill kitchen.
Then as the two of the were preparing to leave I moved into the
Londonberry kitchen. I walked up there and went around to the
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back side of my partner or whoever, and put my arms around her,

and then put my nose and mouth up to the back of her neck. The
bottom part was buzzed-ish, like in a bowl cut but not quite a
howl cut, and I put my face against that, and I commented about
the beauty of her skin. Then I was going to find us some left-
overs to eat but the company left, and she collapsed immediately
against the cabinets and I was mortified and didn’t want anyone
else in the house to find out.
When the company left, the two mannequins both turned from
human back into mannequin. I went to grab mine and bring it
down the hall into my bedroom quickly before anyone could see
it but then I realized I had accidentally grabbed the wrong one,
and instead of discarding it I thought it would be funny to play a
joke on other guy by taking his mannequin and putting it in his
bed in a way where it looked like it was climbing out of his bed
all scared and disgusted. Apparently someone else had done this
before me so it was an ongoing gag that we would do. But this
was my first time doing it. His roommate was sleeping and woke
up when I was setting it up, since they slept in a bunk bed. But
I did it. And when the guy found out what I had done he went
hunting for me in the house. So I ran and hid in the downstairs
bathroom of Londonberry. For some reason I had no pants. Just
a long shirt that went down to my knees.
At the end I was leaving the bathroom from downstairs London-

berry wearing only a king shirt and he’s standi there with a re-
mote control and saying “Bend over and tell me you’ll listen to
this” and I’m like “what, hahaha no.” The remote control pow-
ered a creepy mannequin head ther was crawling on the fooor
like the toy in toy story and there was a thirty-one minute song
playing called “Nevada” which was broken into two parts.
UNDERSLEPT
I woke up, was very tired, and went down into the Londonberry
downstairs where I sat at my computer and initiated a conver-
sation where I am asking “How, as someone who claims to care
about Christianity, can you sit back and not become angered at
what has become of it in our country?” And this turned into an
argument about how “nazism” is to be defined, as he was hold-
ing some ultra specific view of what constitutes a nazi and didn’t
recognize the fascism taking place all around him. I could hardly
open my eyes I was so tired but I wanted to stay up. Then I went
upstairs to where my mom was cooking dinner and she had a bag
of broccoli an a cup of water on the counter and she told me to
get some sleep since I look tired and I said how I can I sleep when
I hear the world going on without me. Then I looked at the clock
and it was only like 3:50 PM and I had already been up for nearly
an hour at this point, and so that means that I only got like three
hours of deep and I’m like ‘Oh dammit, I should have slept until
8.”
Next thing I know I’m with a group of people and they’re dis-
cussed random things that I don’t know much about. Then
someone brings up music, and they’re discussing the classic My-
Space set up and the old music charts and then they ask someone
to bring up a song that they remember from those days. I rec-
ognized the band and told them that while the song is just fine,
I had higher expectations since I knew this band by their older
shoegaze, slowcore sound and I’m not sure why they would have
abandoned that since it was working well for them. Most of the
people continued on without really acknowledging me but one
guy engaged me.
2126
WAITED TOO LONG
It was New Years Eve and I was intent on staying overnight with
the youth group for a lock-in. I hadn’t been to the church in
so many years and so it would have been a surprise if I showed
up, but I was set on going. I was in Pine Hill at the time, and I
was thinking of Come Alive , as opposed to any of the Virginia
churches. I woke up late in the day, at around 6 PM, and I
worked on my music for a while and wandered about. My mom
made chocolate chip cookies. I ate one but avoided eating any
more due to fearing a stomach ache. I came back later in my
dream to grab another cookie once they had been put in the cab-
inet, but when taking one, I dropped another one on the ground
and the dog pounced on it so I had to take it away from the
dog since it contained chocolate chips. I was struggling with my
throat issues. It wasn’t terrible at the time but there was the un-
derstanding that I wasn’t in the best shape and that it might be
weird to go and hang out with friends in my condition. I knew
that I could speak, but to a limited degree. The night was sup-
posed to start at 8 PM, but the church was about a forty minute
drive away. I took my time, thinking I would show up after some
of the early parts. I was thinking that they would be going to an
amusement park for a little while at the start and I didn’t know
how I would handle that. I ran through all sorts of scenarios in
my mind involving roller coasters and decided it would be a bad
move. I continued to drift around the house as my anxiety rose
and fell. I went and sang some goofy song in the work room with
Asia and mom. When finally we were all in the kitchen walk-
ing out the front door, my parents were asking me if I wanted to
come with them to see some puppet thing before going to the
youth group, which is where they were going after dropping me
off, and I told them I don’t have enough time. Then I looked at
2127
the clock and it was 1 AM. I was heartbroken. I had no idea it

had gotten to be so late. I realized I had messed up and that it
would be futile to go at this point, knowing that most people
would probably be going to sleep by 3. I was mad at myself for
all the time I wasted. I tried to think of alternative scenarios to
make it work but I couldn’t come up with anything.
SECRET RINK CAPTAIN
There was the part where RC was taking videos from my moth-
ers page and uploading them to his. Then went I went to the
place where Isaac and everyone was at with a large roller rink I
had apparently been watching it in TV for a long time so it was
weird to be there in person. Scooby Doo (yes, Scooby Doo) saw
me come in and ran up to say hello. He couldn’t believe I showed
up. I guess he had seen me or chatted with me a lot online recent-
ly and didn’t know I actually intended to come out to this place.
Weird moment if because it felt so normal. There were were oth-
er cartoons who were happy I came, but it was not a cartoon
place, so I’m not sure what that was all about. I went in circles
around the perimeter of the rink with Isaac and my team.
I remember when skating up the slope the first time a girl on the
other side could be heard saying my name twice and I felt flat-
tered, not realizing at first the nature of the game that everyone
was playing where each team had to designate a secret captain
and the other team had to undermine or go after that captain
who would he holding something I think, and as soon as the girls
saw that I had arrived they assumed that I had been made the se-
cret captain which is why they had been having difficulty figur-
ing out who was the captain. So they targeted me, and that’s why
the girl kept saying my name to the others. I didn’t realize that at
first though.
Then there was that part where we crossed the water pond area.
At the end there was that guy who said “My fleshhhh.” We were
quickly trying to make sure we had all of our people with us, all
of our crew, while these horrid and almost demonic men infil-
trated and we had to make sure we got all of our own out of
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there. Then we took roll call and realized we had someone with
us that didn’t belong. It was this guy. And when we realized who
he was he said his name and then said “my fleshhhh” or some-
thing instead of “in the flesh” and it was very strange.
Anyway, at one point RC was found to be sharing videos posted

to my dead mother’s account—videos she had posted around
Christmas where the two of us can be heard laughing at these
Christmas ornaments which kept reacting to our voices, and so
I was trying to activate them by making funny noises. So I was
standing in the aisle of a store with him watching these videos on
a phone. I forget what else happened during this scene. We were
in a Toys R’ Us-like store but I don’t remember what happened.
Was I trying to get a job? Or speaking to old employers?
Asia was in the dream at some point and she was very petulant
so I didn’t want to see her.
BULLET QUEST
There was long scene taking place in the Londonberry family
room where Kenny and I and others were all partying and
recording music repeatedly. These awesome improv songs. Some
I took the lead on. In others he took the lead. Then Mike showed
up along the way and I remember saying hello to him in the mid-
dle of the song, but someone said I shouldn’t try to get his at-
tention since he was upset having learned that his wife just went
across county to see some band perform. Anyhow Kenny and I
made a couple more songs. Then as we’re sitting by the computer
he starts singing with this really good post-punk voice and it sur-
prised me.
Next I was up in the top floor of the church with this big bulky
gun. It felt plasticky but I was just walking around with it. I re-
member hanging out in this one room with people. Two others.
And then when it came time to act I came out and went to go
down, but the pastor was holding a prayer meeting and asked me
to stay put for a moment, so I held off before finally going down
to join them afterwards. Some invasion was about to take place
and everyone was arming up, but first they were praying.
I realized I lacked bullets in my gun, and these guys were getting

ready in the church building. These creatures. As we were all
standing by the building, I realized I hand no bullets in mine.
I asked this guy who look like JW to help point me toward the
place where I gotta go. He tells me. I don’t understand him. He
sighs and then just takes me there himself, but we are out there
way longer than we have to be. We had to go down into this hole
in the desert and we had to pass by some building where I had
been the night before with some guy whose shift wouldn’t start
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until like 9 tonight. The pit in the desert took us into this weird
Venetian region where we got in a confrontation with some guy
who almost attacked him. So I shot him three times in the face,
but without realizing I had yet to put the bullets in my guns, so
he was hit not with bullets but shockwaves, and they kicked him
into the water bank and he never rose again surprisingly. Then
we climbed out of the desert pit and returned. Dream ended.
I had another little fragmented dream after all of this, but the de-
tails elude me. Isaac was in it. I remember standing in a long line
of persons, single file, and someone was coming down the line
checking something out and I kept trying to hide behind others
or step out of line into this hole in the wall where no one would
notice me.
DAVID
David was this temperamental boy at the place bar we were all
hanging out. He was a friend of ours but he kept getting upset
when he didn’t get his way and things were starting to get weird
and supernatural. He was the one whose house we were at.
A few minutes earlier, as he arrived, I had been searching for

my clothes... my outer shirt button down and jacket which, for
some reason, I hadn’t been wearing. And I was having to search
through a pile of David’s clothes before seeing that mine were sit-
ting in a separate spot on the back of the couch.
Before all of this we were playing music real loud. I thought it

was fun. We were playing some Japanese song which sounded
like an energetic anime intro. I played bass and I had to play by
ear. It felt so realistic. Then some post-punk song came on and I
wanted to play it, but David went over into the room near where
I was and all the music shut off, like as if a power surge occurred.
Then I hear him say “oops” in a suspicious way and he came out
into where we were all standing. And that’s when we started feel-
ing weird and suspicious. So now we couldn’t play music. I think
he felt left out.
I forget what we were doing before all this. I remember being

outside at one point and explore the perimeters of the yard.
There was a graveyard next door which people were speaking of
as some video game. And my father was also talking about some
war game and I told him that the old installments of that series
are among the most popular games of all time.
Then there was that part where Amanda and I were hiding in
that very narrow crevice in the wall waiting to surprise someone,
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which may have been David. This was when the parents were still
awake. But it was such a tight squeeze and I kept needing her
help to push me out of the crevice. I didn’t like it one bit, very
claustrophobic.
I was trying to get the others to leave and take me home but then
they started to freeze over, literally. Their bodies would become
frosty.Me and someone else were getting ready to leave because
things were getting creepy but once that happened and everyone
but me started freezing I took off running.
At the end I was running around in a circle within the upstairs of

the house lookin for the entry way while holding two large emp-
ty bottles of white wine in my hand, one which wasn’t firmly se-
cured with its cork, ready to stike “David” when he came up for
me.
There was no door. I couldn’t find it. I found the door to the
background but the background was closed off. So I ran in about
three circles from kitchen to dining room to foyer and whatnot
and none showed me a door. Meanwhile I can hear the people
downstairs talking and then right at the very end I felt I could
sense David walking up the stairs.
There was this unspoken sense that David liked me. I was the
only one who he actually liked of all the people here. I was
nicest to him. He would keep giving me money. So I had money
stuffed into my pockets when I was leaving. But we got along
even though he was a bit strange and introverted. So I expected
he would spare me.
At the end I was running around in a circle within the upstairs of

the house lookin for the entry way while holding two large emp-
ty bottles of white wine in my hand, one which wasn’t firmly se-
cured with its cork, ready to stike “David” when he came up for
me.
There was no door. I couldn’t find it. I found the door to the
background but the background was closed off. So I ran in about
three circles from kitchen to dining room to foyer and whatnot
and none showed me a door. Meanwhile I can hear the people
downstairs talking and then right at the very end I felt I could
sense David walking up the stairs.
THREE BOTTLES OF BLUSH
Oh man what was the dream before this one. I was out with that
bald guy who was driving me around late at night. He was like a
mentor. He drove me back from some place late at night. Wish I
remembered more.
Not sure what happened before the wine part. We hung out for
many hours. It was an overnighter and I was so nervous at first
because this is someone who I looked up to in the sense that I
liked his music.
Then we got back to the house and went upstairs to clean some-
thing up like the mess we had made overnight and I started
singing the chorus of one of the guy’s songs, but since I couldn’t
figure out the exact pitch of the chorus I had to start at the verse
in my mind and run it through until that point which is interest-
ing.
Then we got back to the living room and we changed his clothes
and he was in his underwear and the television was still on and
whatever movie was on from before was still playing, and it
showed this long extended shot of this girl laying on her back
with her shirt off and she had to put on her top but it seemed to
take so long. Her love interest was one of those angry insatiable
chefs from television. Then it was like “shower scene!“ But it only
showed a bunch of Korean people talking and dancing. My sister
was in the dining room cleaning the dog or something. I could
hear a machine going that sounded like a vacuum.
As we were walking downstairs before this TV part I told him we

never ended up going to that biodermal place and he said yeah I
don’t think he had the time. He said there are still some stuff that
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I can do for him though. Tell my friends about something of his

and he’ll leave CDs with me that I can share with others. Then
the tv part happened.
Previously we went out somewhere. I remember when he was

getting ready to leave I asked where he was going and if I could
join him. He said he’s going to some dermal place I think for
some skin treatment and I asked him if I could come. Then he
gave this “this is a strict establishment. You can’t be drunk, you
can’t be on drugs. They’ll kick us both out.” He was being very
stern and I was embarrassed that my family was overhearing and
at first he was saying I couldn’t come and he would just do it him-
self but then eventually he caved on the condition that I behave.
Then we went to this store with all of my mom’s stuff in it. At

first it was owned by some other girl and showed a scene of her
meeting the owners. I don’t know. We were walking around the
room. It wasn’t very big. First we passed by all these large stick-
ers and I saw her wedding photos on the wall. The stickers had
white borders and he commented on that saying that it would be
better without. Then there were packaged tech deck dudes in a
bin and I was like “Wait, are these my old toys from when I was a
kid.” And we’re looking through them. One pack was all singers.
One pack was some cop dude with a military helicopter.
Before this part was the part where nanny made the fuss about
the wine. I was sitting in the living room with the vocalist. Some
random living room. We were laying by the television. He was
talking about some ps3 game he wanted to play. I told him I’d
play it with him. I went and got a bottle of blush wine from the
kitchen. Brought it in, took a couple swigs and then put it on
the carpet near him and said it’s there if he wants it, comment-
ing that it’s blush. Then my grandma walked in and started going
off about how I can’t handle alcohol and such and such. Embar-
rassing the hell out of me. I got really mad and told her I drink
three bottles a day, which was a lie and I felt weird for lying in
front of the guy because he was listening. Eventually I went to my
mother and woke her up, she was asleep sitting up in her com-
puter chair, I told her nanny was causing problems, she came in
and spoke to nanny briefly and she left. And then there was some
exchange when nanny was walking down the hallway and I and
my mom commented that this is why we don’t open her letters.
That’s why he gave me the drunk warning, even though I lied
about my drinking habits and didn’t actually drink or do drugs.
SOMETHING MEAN
At the beginning Asia and I were walking through what felt like
empty school halls. I was asking her questions about her recent
classes. And she was talking about how it was all classes about the
classes, and I commented about how that’s the kind of stuff that
I like, though she was upset by it or by something else.
Eventually I ended up in that room with several people. There

was a woman who was interviewing me and some others. Then
several people left and it was just me and that boss or board
member who was a cool black guy. He called me over to come
closer, since I was standing in a weird spot since previously there
were more people present but I hadn’t moved nearer once they
left. and we spoke at his desk for a little bit. I was very surprised at
how he seemed to like what I was saying and even began speaking
as if I already had the job despite not saying it overtly. At some
point I was dismissed and he wanted to talk to my father.
That’s when I went down the hall to that other room where those
guys were eating lunch or working or whatever. Felt like an IT
department. They were watching News and talking. The guys
made some comment about some Florida governor who was on
TV at the time and commented “Is this the guy you want gov-
erning you?”
“Ohh, no.” I said. “I’m a leftist.” They seemed relieved and said
“Goooood,” and seemed very welcoming to me. I remember like
three or so guys talking to me and looking at me at that time.
So when I said I’m a leftist I consciously spoke vaguely, knowing
they probably just thought that I meant liberal. They seemed to
like me. There were other exchanges made before that part where
they also seemed to like me. Accumulating in the trophy part.
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I was very surprised at how people seemed to be taking to me.

Some guy was really funny and he comes over and says “you get
a trophy” and he sets up this old sports trophy on the counter in
front of me. “In fact, you get two trophies,” and then he puts an-
other one there. He was actually giving them to me, although it
was sort of a silly moment and everyone understood that it didn’t
make a lot of sense.
Then I somehow ended up with a dark green blanket, which I

took with me when I went to sit in the rec room where all the
other employees were sitting for break.
While in the rec room I sit on one of the two main couches.
Some guy comes over. I instinctively ask “Is this your your seat,
were you sitting here?” “Yeah, like three weeks ago.” He said
snidely while sitting at the other end of the couch. He was just
being silly. They were all watching some music channel, and I
kept wanting to ask what kinda music they were into, but I de-
cided against it. But I still kept thinking about it, and how to
phrase the question, and pigeonholing their tastes based on their
outward look and demeanor. I remember once when I walked
away I heard an old Kate Bush song on tv, from her Kick Inside
album, so old stuff. I was gonna comment about it, but once
again I didn’t. When I came back in the room I sat down on a
different couch by myself. I had gone to get my blanket. While
sitting there with my blanket that girl came over and tapped me
and tried to give me a letter.
So there I am sitting on a couch by myself, under a blanket. That

girl came over, got my attention. Flashed a piece of paper then
quickly walked away. And I’m like “Wait, I couldn’t read it... was
that something mean?” And as she walked away to where she
was before on the other couch I asked again “Was it something
mean?” Then I looked at her from across the room once more,
doing so until she looked at me; and I looked no more. Just some
snobby blonde girl. Attractive in the sense that she looked like a
standard girl that would be popular and attractive but I personal-
ly wasn’t attracted to her. Although I may have been a little hap-
py at first when I saw she was trying to communicate with me,
before I realized she was up to something weird. If I didn’t men-
tion if, the rec room area was where all the other workers were
hanging out on their break. They all seemed to be college age,
which I interpreted as my age.
That went on for a few minutes, until I saw my father standing

in the doorway, halfway so, not fully obviously, with one of his
dumb button down t shirts.. dark drab green. So I got up and
went with him wondering how conspicuous it would be to the
others that he was my father and also my ride.
On the way out I was asking my dad what he talked about with
the boss guy, and I remember something about the reliability of
my ride came up. Not with the boss. But with me and my dad.
And one of the guys overheard, the boss or one of the higher ups,
and he asked a question or made a comment, and I quickly un-
dermined what my dad had said so that it didn’t sound like an
inability on my end for why I couldn’t drive, but like a temporary
issue that was amidst being sorted out. I worried it could affect
my hireability. This was as we were all walking out of the build-
ing. Then we got in the car and drove off, eventually arriving at
some hotel room. At the end I realized I forgot the trophies, so
me and dad had to go back and get them, but I couldn’t find the
right room. So then my dad and I were suddenly in a hotel room
trying to figure out the right channel. He said “if ain’t baffa” or
something like that, but then I’m like “it’s definitely fucking baf-
fa. Why would you say that.”
That part when me and my dad were trying to remember the

place. Don’t know how attempts to remember the location
turned into attempts to remember the channel that was previ-
ously playing on the television but had gotten switched off. So
we’re trying to figure what the program was. And my dad goes
“it wasn’t b-word” I forget what the word was. Baffa. Bagga. Bag-
gum. And I said “it fucking definitely was.” But my dad wasn’t
saying it wasn’t that program, he was just trying to remember
the name and pointing out that it wasn’t that particular b word
when in reality it was something else that sounded similar, and it
was a title with multiple names like “b word and something else”.
Something and something.
THE PHIL
Isaac and I were stopping off at the Target to pick up some
snacks. We were previously out somewhere else and swung by
here real quick, but things got weird really quick. There just
seemed to be a host of strange characters hanging around while
we were picking out snacks and candy.
At the end I encountered a woman interviewing an invisible doc-

tor of some sort about the ‘disappearing man’ and so I quickly
stopped by to see what was up because it was Isaac they were dis-
cussing, and I reached out to shake the hand of the invisible doc-
tor and I felt it. And I said “Whoa, it’s like a real hand.” Then
suddenly I could see the man. Big guy. Not fat but just quite big
and also tall. Disheveled hair. Not too long just very shaggy and
up in the air. Very suspicious guy and he didn’t like us question-
ing about where the people were disappearing to. Obvious he
was a part of Isaac’s disappearance.
I remember passing by Disney and Universal Studios in Orlando

and being terribly sad knowing I would never get to go there
again. It seemed so gigantic. We were so close to some of the
signs and structures even though they were on the other side of
the tree line. This is as I was driving with my parents down the
road and probably a little while before the spree with Isaac.
When we first arrived at the store, there was the woman who was
staring at Isaac. So I walked up to her and asked what’s up, why
she’s staring and if she knows him, and she couldn’t tell. She was
trying to figure it out, so she as asking where he works, and I was
trying to answer, “I think he works in the kitchen staff at such
and such places.” Then while we were walking around looking at
candy and I was shoving green warheads in my pocket we start-
2143
ed noticing the presence of this one spectre guy that was drift-
ing through the store, aisle to aisle. It was another kind of doc-
tor. But he came for you at a certain time. I remember calling
him ‘The Phil’ at the end. It was short for something, possibly
philosopher, but I forget what his full title was. While I was with
the girl interviewer, she looked down at her card and saw it said
two minutes left and she was like “Awww shit, he’s coming for
me soon,” so I know it was not the doctor that we were currently
with.
That huge disheveled doctor was telling me I can’t watch Isaac,

but he’s gonna be on a ghostly tv show, and he doesn’t want me
to see, and if he breaks through the screen he’ll just start crying
and I don’t want to see it. And I’m like “That’s fine, I just want to
see him and know he’s alright,” and the giant disheveled invisible
doctor kept making excuses for why I couldn’t see him and why
I wouldn’t want to.
The Phil kept drifting from aisle to aisle slowly and inspecting
things and coming for people. Isaac started worrying about him
earlier. And he’s the one who finally got him.
I definitely ran from him at one point and was going to be like
“Listen, Isaac, we don’t need any more candy. It’s fine. Let’s just
go home or somewhere else and hang out.”
I remember Isaac overheard me talking to that woman and was

like “Is that what you think?” when he heard me describing
where he worked and he thought it was funny, because I guess I
was wrong.
I remember thinking ‘How come whenever Isaac is out on his

own he’s getting fun things like candy and fast food, but when
we go out it’s taking him so long to pick and it’s all boring stuff ?’
Before the Orlando part and Isaac part, I remember pulling up

to... what was basically my current house in a car.
Oh man, the cop car. I got in trouble. I was driving with Asia and
I was swerving all over the road and barely managed to make it. It
was a Sunday afternoon, I remember that. I thought it would be
an okay time since everyone was at church, but a cop followed us
through some back road. It was s woman, and she was trying to
figure out if I was inebriated but I had some sob story about how
I only just got my license three months ago and no one taught
me and I’m self-taught and I’m sober and just doing the best I
can with the knowledge I have. For some reason she went easy on
me and sort of hung out by me for a little while. She pulled me
over on Charldon, however it was supposed to be someone else’s
house, like Annie. And so I remember going up on the deck and
seeing Annie and her family through the window all talking and
chatting, and it was a super weird situation because the cop and I
were finalizing business outside, and others people were helping
me and I knew that her family knew I was outside but I wasn’t
going in to see them, so it felt very weird.
Oh, and then Sarah told me she was inspired by my paintings.

She’s like “You know, I’ve long thought...” and I finished her
thought and said “...that I’m sexy,”“ and I was just being very silly
and obnoxious and she laughed but then told me she was actual-
ly influenced by my art, so we were in my Pine Hill bedroom and
she called me over to the next room which was by my fridge, and
from the crack between the fridge and the chimney she pulled
out a painting which was quite awesome. It looked like some
crazy renaissance pirate with dark red and white and gold and
black, and if definitely had touches of my style. So I compliment-
ed it a lot. I don’t know if she meant to give it to me so I didn’t
immediately take it and we just talked about it for a while.
This was before the universal studios scene, but after the Annie
scene. And after the first driving scene. And this painting scene
led me to the Isaac scene, since Isaac showed up to pick me up to
go get some dinner. Oh, first me and Isaac were in a dorm room
before heading out and at that point it felt like Andrew.
Nanny was in one part as well. Or no, it was not nanny. It was
some other old woman. It was that reporter. And she was stand-
ing there as the giant doctor kind of fondled her in front of me,
I don’t remember why. But this was right when she looked down
and realize she had already exhausted her time on the store and
that The Phil was coming for her in two minutes, Just this league
of invisible doctors that roamed the store each with different
purpose. Quite terrifying.
I separated from Isaac at one point just to go and look at the

DVDs. Actually, no, I think Isaac was still with me at this point,
although we did separate at some other point and I remember
encountering some young boy who wanted something from me.
Weird dream.
GRABBER
I had these posters tubes which I ordered. Oh, this was at the be-
ginning of the dream. I was in my bedroom looking at posters
and my dad was in the laundry room. And he was being so so
so loud. Wait did that really happen in reality? Because it was a
Wednesday and today is a Wednesday. Oh, no. And one of his
work friends came over to help him with something. So I was
getting so upset at the noise, and I kept shutting off my light
when he walked by so that he would think that I’m still sleeping.
Early I was with W at his house except that I wasn’t really with
W but with his family and I was sitting downstairs with his
sisters and I was by the television. So close that I accidentally
changed the channel by touching it.
His mom had gone to bed hours earlier. She was friendly to me
though but I talked almost none at all around her and my voice
was always hoarse.
Oh and there were three girls at W’s house and I remember being
blindfolded while swinging in the chair and eating snacks and
one of them held my hand and spoke to me for a while and I
wasn’t aware of who it was, so when I took off my blindfold I was
like wait who held my hand. It was the one on the right, and I
think I guessed wrong.
Part where I was looking at all the food I brought in the base-
ment. There were donuts and other stuff. Looked like London-
berry basement. I accidentally pressed my face against the televi-
sion while blindfolded and changed the channel. Then asked the
girls if I was at fault, because I heard the channel change, and the
girls said yes. They didn’t seem too fond of me.
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I don’t think the girl who escaped with me was my lover. Some-
thing was wrong. Like she wouldn’t kiss me or something. But
she was still helping me. So we made it into this deck. Standing
next to this guy asking to borrow this other guys phone. I no-
ticed it just because his phone case looked like mine. Then I
notice the guy whose holding his phone start to hack up while
the guy is distracted. So I nudge him to get his attention and I
was like dude I think he’s about to take off. He didn’t look too
concerned. I guess because there were police by the entry of the
rocks.
Oh my god that guy who was grabbing my butt, because when

he was yelling about Christ I made this weird honking noise, and
he kept yelling it. All these Christian bus drivers shouting at kids,
and I came by and did that, as if I was censoring out Christ’s
name with these silly honk noises, and the kids were laughing
and loving it, so he got angry at me and followed me and my girl
and next thing I know he is squeezing the hell out of my butt
while I’m talking about how funny the thing was. And I’m like
“Jeez bro, are you another gay Christian in the closet? I hope that
you can be open with yourself about your identity sooner rather
than later for your own sake.” And he held on for like two min-
utes angrily. But when I said that to him, which was meant as
a joke, he was like “Yeah, ugh, maybe,” and just walked off as if
it was actually true. Then I stood there with that girl. We were
escaping. We had just ran through the shed in which we were
briefly trapped. We had just been in a shed. When this man came
in and tried to ambush us or turn her against me. They were
against me for something I did. So she and I went through the
back door and decided to go off together, just the two of us. Then
she met up with a girlfriend of hers. I forget what her relation-
ship was to me.
At the end there was that guy who came and stole that man’s ba-
by. Actually it was a phone that he stole. He was asking for help.
We were all standing around at some party on a dock. I had just
made it there with that dog who I was fleeing with.
But then we were reminded of some law where taking a baby in

this state ain’t stealing so he suddenly became worried. Suddenly
we were thinking this was a baby and not a phone.
Oh, the girl at the end was like Annie, and I remember I was
wanting to be affectionate with her but she was not letting me.
Or she was, but something was very wrong when we got back to
my Charldon bedroom. She had some illness or disease or injury
and I was so worried, and she was acting so out of it and so dis-
tant as a result. That’s when we went walking and that guy tried
to trap me (and her) in that shed.
THE PRESSURE COOKER
At the very end I was in my Pine Hill room getting ready to go
to bed. I was going to nap. So I walked in there I was basically
just sitting there on a stack of things looking like I was joking
but I was just phasing out. Then my dad walked by the open
door and switched off the television and put on the radio so I
got up and came over to close the door but first I looked at what
he was putting on and I think he thought m I was following
some big story in the UK about some musicians but I wasn’t,
so he commented about the outcome and I didn’t even know
there had been an outcome. Then he shut the music off alto-
gether and went and stood by the junction of the kitchen, living
room and bathroom and delivered his normal “Uh, also, I’ve got
to say something.” And I grew immediately frustrated and tense
because I knew that that means he’s going to say something hor-
rible. And I said I’m going to nap, and he said make it quick, and
I said no tell me what you mean to say and I was already tense
because of the way he was doing this. And then he got this look
in his eye and said he had not give me permission to use the pres-
sure cooker and then to not put it away at night when I was done
with it. His eyes were already bugged out and his head was tilted
while he accused me aggressively. I said I didn’t fucking use the
pressure cooker, what purpose would I have with it, and I said
that it was Asia. Asia was taking a bath in the bathroom at the
time. Dad got this look in his eye, barged into the bathroom, and
I see him go over to the tub and he says “so he says you were the
one who used the pressure cooker?” And Asia does this childish
laugh which leads me to believe that she had previously lied to
him about it, making him think it was me initially, and she goes
“hahahahahhaha yeah” and so he quickly grabs her by the head
and holds her down under the water. And I start freaking out in-
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ternally and I don’t know if he’s going to drown her or what but
he does it for like four seconds before allowing her up and doing
it again and she’s screaming and I want to call out to mom up-
stairs but suddenly my voice is gone and I’m freaked out watch-
ing this. Then I woke up.
The end was so intense and disturbing to me that I’ve forgotten

the rest of the dream but I know that a lot went in.
Oh wait, earlier I remember hanging out with this girl. Some-

times in my bedroom, sometimes out in a sort of wooden play-
ground. I was worried she would be freaked out by my bedroom.
Even though it was Pine Hill. And I thought we actually ended
up having a good time. But later when I looked on her Facebook
I saw all of these awful preachy videos where she was harassing
people about Christianity and just proselytizing and it was really
bad, so I was upset. While sitting on Facebook I was also sitting
there wondering how I ever lost touch with certain people and
what happened to them. And I was jusf analyzing how weird it is
that there is a last time we speak to someone and we don’t know
it and I wonder what happened to people like Danny.
CHURCH GROPE
I went to church. At first I was by the bathrooms waiting for it to
start, but then people were getting interviewed for some cause or
welfare. Then I went to the front lobby and I thought “Wait, is
it even Sunday?” and people started slowly trickling in. I saw Jeff
come in and some others.
Okay, there was this girl at one point who entered. She had left
the congregation with some others from the college group sup-
posedly. She was clearly very touchy with everyone, and before I
knew it she was sitting to my immediate right. She had wrapped
her arms around my arm and was leaning into me. I was trying
to figure out what she wanted from me, or if she even liked me.
And she was just getting more and more touchy while I was sit-
ting there pretending as if everything was normal and carrying
on conversations with others. We started getting really gropy re-
al quick and it was weird for it to be happening at church and
nobody was saying anything, and I was shifting around in an at-
tempt to block what was happening from others. I was basically
following her lead just because I didn’t know what she was okay
with and I was very cautious of overstepping any bounds just be-
cause I didn’t know her and I didn’t know what she wanted or if
she even really liked me for that matter. At one point she got in
trouble with some elder and had to get up and do some dance in
the foyer, and the elders were laughing at her. They were dressed
in green and appeared like leprechauns. I thought she did a great
job though. Then she asked me to get up and dance, myself. And
I did some weird tribal chieftain dance with weird Russian folk
kicks. It was bizarre. I was worried I’d hurt myself which had me
hesitate at the start, but I did it and it went fine, although I felt
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like I sucked and I was embarrassed. But then I went back to her
and we basically went at it again.
SEND HELP
Went for a long walk down the street early on. I think it was
when I returned that the stuff with my father happened. When I
tried to enter back into the house. And it was nighttime. My dad
went nuts and got violent and I had to go tell mother on him. By
telling her that there were some people in some place that were
not being kind to me. Or when she asked what I was up to I had
a clever way of telling her without actually tell her.
Me and that girl sitting on the couch for much of the dream just
cuddling and laughing with one another, while my father was
in the background just going through things. At one point he
found some movies he wanted to watch and took them outside.
We were discussing the distinctions between different extremist
ideologies. It was like me and that girl ended up creating this ruse
or fake organization which wasn’t real and was just meant to sig-
nal for help to the outside world that my father was violent and
going to get us. Our romance was very, very cute though. We
were just sitting on the couch cuddling up in black ENTJ’s (that
should say ‘cuddling up in blankets’ but it’s too funny to erase).
I made that crazy casserole at the end from burning those red
lenses be fleshed. It was just this crazy lump of stuff and I forgot
what I was even making it in the first place.
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DRUNKEN PARTY
My mom singing songs with a metal band at a hospital. Her legs
were all bandaged and she was fat and gross and leaning over the
drum set while singing songs. Right after the scene where every-
one was going to sleep in the large place on the floor and I was
walking around with a snake around my neck and hairline look-
ing creepy. And nanny was blowing a horn or cazoo cuz she was
drunk. And Poppop was drunk and was lying on his back on the
couch like a puppy with his arms up and I was trying to make
sure my dad kept nanny or whoever it was didn’t sleep with their
arms around his neck.
Before this... I was with that girl. What were we doing though.
Okay I remember being outside with that girl by that puddle.
She went around the corner. She was drunk. We all were. And
she came back and randomly hands me her panties. And I said
“I don’t want these. I want to hold your hand.” We weren’t terri-
bly close but I was slightly interested in her. Anyway this whole
dream was like some party that was taking place.
Oh and what was that part where I got called into that back-
room, or I was dragged there. It was very funny because I was act-
ing like I didn’t want to go. This woman dragged me in by my
collar. Had work to discuss. And I was telling her about some
malpractices and bad things that happened while on the job.
Like that guy got sucked up in the vacuum meant for something
else. And it was traumatizing. The woman was horrified to learn
that this happened.
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MANDRAGORA
I was at Nanny and Poppop’s New Jersey home but there was
some party or event going on and the tool crew were there and
wanted me to join them and so I had all these photos of them I
was carrying around in my pocket and some of them may have
been my own promo photos that would be used if I joined with
them. There were was a big table of food, and then there was lots
of fried chicken and angel food cake but they looked the same so
I had to stand around and tried to figure out which was which.
Then I remember going into fill my cup of bowl with water. With
the water dispenser in the inside of the fridge. Nanny said there
one on the outside which I just used minutes ago. And I said I
sang fast, not something something. The water was making my
dish really glutinous and I was debating about whether I should
eat it or not because it seemed terrible. Like really gluey oatmeal.
Then they started talking about some books that they were con-
sidering selling and I chimed in because I knew the books they
were talking about. Some girls and dad and nanny and Poppop
and them were sitting around their kitchen NJ table. Eventually
I got in a little spat with my mother and I remember walking out
of the room and her telling me that whether people want to cel-
ebrate my birthday is up to them which meant that I might not
get cake or presents or even an acknowledgment this year on my
birthday and I was trying to act like I was okay with it but I was
sad. Then I got in the car... my dad’s van... and I drove down the
street and crashed after going through Waterlick. I’m pretty sure
I was listening to David Sylvian while driving.
It was supposed to be just down the street. But I wasn’t used

to my father’s van. So I drifted when attempting to turn into
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a street. Having my foot partially on the brake while turning

caused me to drift and hit a car on the side of the road. Then
when I tried to keep going I hit anothe car. Then the cop came.
A woman. I went into her cop car with the boy who was the
young witness to my accident. I explained it to her. But when she
first came to the window and asked to see my license I was like
“I don’t have a license. But I live nearby and I’ve driven before.
I’m just not used to this truck.” When she saw what had hap-
pened she seemed to honestly feel bad for me and I remember
her checking my Instagram to verify my identity since I didn’t
have my ID and she accidentally OR perhaps purposely liked one
of my photos in the prices so I was like ‘Ooh, okay, so now I have
her handle’.
On the way back I got lost looking for my home streets and I
entered some exhibit in which I was put through different news
headlines. Like I was in this row of mandragora trees or what-
ever and there was a woman unseen who was calling out saying
“When night falls she will attack me from within the mandrago-
ra.”Although it wasn’t me who she wanted to attack but I fig-
ured that didn’t matter. And it was terrifying. I was just in this
weird plot of farm land walking through rows of what were these
tall dark humanoid plants (mandrakes) hanging from vines and
stuff, as tall as me.
Then I went walking back down to the beach and I fell off into
the deep ocean and woke myself up. But as I was sinking I was
the thinking about gay jokes and my toe was twitching.
At the end as I was drowning in the ocean I kept my eyes shut

tightly because I was terrified of encountering sea creatures, but
I felt what seemed like a soft stuffed animal and then I pushed it
away and then I seemed to encounter it again shortly thereafter.
It was very scary though and I kept my eyes closed the whole
time, so I felt the ocean around me and anticipated creatures
would come up to me but I saw nothing. No sharks or terrible
things ended up showing up, but I was still quite frightened.
LOBO 10
Chatting with that girl online who started showing me all these
pictures of this flaming cyborg man called Lobo 10. Said he
looked like streu guy. I asked if he was a band or a person. She
asked my ASL. I said oh I thought you already knew. I said 26/
m/USA. Or I might have given some weird location instead of
USA. But I remember thinking that I had just recently aged two
years in a single day, jumping from 26 to 28, but I neglected to
tell her that and went with 26.
That part where I was looking at films in the store.
That part where I was with Isaac in that weird cramped storage
space and we were digging through it until we got to that room
where there were all those Koreans. And then I went upstairs and
fixed my hair and brushed my teeth and me and asia got in a spat
about some sunglasses. And I said wow I forgot about how much
of a horrible person you’ve become since I haven’t seen you in so
long.
Yeah I was with Isaac for a while. Ugh there was a lot more to this
but I just don’t feel like typing it out today.
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THE GUARDS ERASED MY
DREAM JOURNAL
The fucking guards in my last dream erased all the dreams that I
was storing on their computer and it makes sense because I was
being a douche by doing so. I had broken into this facility which
I think is where my girlfriend worked and I was just randomly
storing all of my documents on their computer or cloud. I don’t
know why I guess just to be silly. But then when I woke up from
a dream I went to access them and they were gone and I was up-
set that I had to go and retrieve my last self files from elsewhere,
which admittedly weren’t more than a day or two old in most
cases but I was missing some of my most recent entries.
I was sneaking around this compound. I had this giant vacuum

hose like thing that I fixed around my stomach and I was sneak-
ing around and I bludgeoned an officer and it was crazy weird.
Then I broke into the room where the secretary was working,
some red headed woman, and I had chosen the wrong room but
then I was like ‘hey, why not,’ so I used the vacuum on her and it
made her small and she was screaming. Then I took her and car-
ried out her while she was screaming, and I ran into some of the
people I knew or guards along the way out, so I had fight more
guards. Not sure what the purpose of this was.
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TWO PANCAKES
The one where I asked my dad to make me pancakes, but then
went outside into my Pine Hill yard and went into the back en-
trance, and had to go up all these weird flights of stairs into this
funhouse like warehouse just so that I could reaccess this place.
When I finally got back to my dad he had made everyone else
pancakes but I asked him if he could make me two so he sighed
but eventually went to do so. And I was going to put something
on my pancakes like chocolate or something interesting. By now
we were in that weird basement or cellar by the outdoor pool.
Then there was that part earlier where I was in the basement
when my mom walked by and we were at a table.
This was the same dream where I was standing around that huge
pool speaking to that metalhead and at first I was avoiding him
because he seemed strange but then we bonded over metal and
we were playing it really loud and I was talking about my favorite
works by Katatonia. There was so much to this dream and this
dream journal ain’t doing it justice but it just felt so long.
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CREVICE
At the end those metal heads followed me back to my bunk with
intent to beat me up but I had friends and family in the room so
we put a stop to that and we sat the guys down and talked. And
then this wacky situation broke out where everyone was danc-
ing and it was like a play. That guy holding a candle at the front.
The claymation black man walking around. Some middle eastern
man dressed in the same clothes as Dad and signing a song shout
how they’re going to be doing the same thing, so they were walk-
ing around together like twins. Wait, I was the guy with the can-
dle.
Before this I was asking those meftalhead kids if they’ve ever met
any metal musicians, even though the fest they were about to go
to did not really allow meets since it was so big and not intimate.
And then I noted that I couldn’t remember the musicians I had
met. It was a weird situation and we’re all sitting in this cramped
space. When the guys chased me back to my room I went sidling
through this weird space and it was inside that weird cramped
space where my friends were and pulled me in... a very narrow
crevice.
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VENTRILOQUIST
That part where we were all lined up and sitting on stools and
that woman was instructing us how to pour some liquid down
into our sinuses which would then cleanse us and do something.
I said “oh I tried that before and because my sinus is super
screwed up it won’t work, it gets stuck, so I’m gonna have to sit
this one out.” So I volunteered to assist some of the others while
they did it, because it was volatile and odd, as in their heads were
detached from their bodies and they were best off if their mouths
didn’t move uncontrollably during the process so I was gonna
volunteer to stop the mouths from moving. There was also talk
of ventriloquism.
We were in that large, dark room where we are all just sitting
in a row. After this... first of all, it seems we didn’t do this sinus
thing after all, or we had to do something else before we can do
that. Soon I went with these two girls while everyone was getting
ready to go somewhere and they were excited. One girl was ask-
ing me if I knew some indie bands which sounded very hippie-
ish and she was explaining why they were great and how she once
saw them live. Then she took these two bottles filled with dark
liquid. The bottles had no labels and seemed to be very old and
preserved. She reached into them and began pulling out money
which she said she would be using to help pay for whatever she
was about to do with the rest of the group and she seemed happy
that she had this in reserve. Then we were all talking about music
for a little bit.
Then I went back and sat down with the rest of the people as
they were all doing these songs. Everyone sat in a line while this
eccentric guy had an acoustic guitar and just played these bizarre,
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surreal songs which called for audience participation, and the

whole row of us would follow along. There was one that had
everyone doing monster voices or screaming and it was one of
the funniest things ever. We were all just following his lead and
carrying on with our own interpretations of certain things while
we played the song, and I remember growling and shrieking in a
really funny manner.
Long before all of this I remember escaping my house when

my mother was doing something weird with the hidden locked
room in Londonberry. Somehow it had been opened (referring
to basement room that was always locked, used by the home
owners as a storage space, and since we were renting that place
while they did missions trips in another country we never saw
the room, but it was very mysterious). And before that I remem-
ber I kept showing up at this one spot by the staircase where... it’s
so impossible to explain... anyhow, I had run out, and I ran out
in the yard, and Tom Morello was standing by the trees in my
front yard and he was eating something off of them. And I went
up to him and was like “Oh, what a coincidence, don’t you know
that today is such and such!” And apparently he was the pick for
that very day for some national thing and he had been chosen as
a candy eater or something weird which I now forget so I was
laughing since I was like “Oh of course I expect you to be eat-
ing this in my yard. After all, that’s what you’ve been chosen as!”
Then some other guy who looked like Peter Steele showed up in
my drive way in his car and started talking to Tom. Then when
he saw me he was like “Ehhh Tendon, what the fuck are you do-
ing here,” in this really deep voice. I think this was how I got to
that next place.
HAMMER AND CHISEL
I was out with a cousin for a while in this dream. I was attached
to his back by some weird contraption so he was lugging me
around places. Not like on his actual back but like I was dragging
behind him, like by some crane arm.
There was that part earlier where I was downstairs and music was
playing very loud and I heard I did some cover songs from like
fifteen years ago and I didn’t realize I did, and I think Will was
playing in the clip, and I was listening to it like wow what the
hell. Then I went upstairs and couldn’t stop pissing. I worried I
was wasting my time so I figured it was better to piss all over my
self than to spend the rest of my dream in the bathroom.
Later all of the adults were watching television so I went into an-
other room and did my own thing. Then when they left I came
back into the living where was my mother was talking about
some political debate and I sighed as she was explaining the
candidates and all their ideas. And she was showing me these
debaters and she mocked the woman, whereas it was the man
who was spouting outrageous points, and so I exasperatedly said
“You’re mocking the wrong one. Everything he said was wrong
and yet you’re acting like this other one is wrong.” She goes “it’s
time you get acquainted with politics and study up on history.”
I’m like “Acquainted? By now I’m sure I know far more about
political history than you.” Then she says “Then how can you
find this acceptable? How could you want this?” and I laughed
and said “Oh, hahahaha, I didn’t say I want that. I’m way further
to the left than that,” and I attempted to educate her about how
liberalism in America is still-right leaning. This conversation was
all transpiring as Asia and I were putting away toys in boxes left
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over from the night, but it was around this time while I was argu-
ing with my mother when my father came in and he was in bad
mood and he starts getting aggressive with me, “I don’t LIKE
your attitude,” and I asked him “Why are you walking around
like a bully trying to teach me a lesson? I haven’t done anything
to deserve that.” I saw that he was on a warpath, so I put down
the toys and went downstairs to the basement to get away from
him because he was not behaving properly. Then he starts bang-
ing on my door and I told him to go away, but he kept pounded
and everything was shaking. I frantically grabbed whatever tools
I could find in my room to fight him off. I found a chisel, or a file,
it was very long, but I wasn’t content, so I kept looking around
until I found my hammer, and so at the end I was standing there
holding the tools in my hands in case he busted down the door
and I had to fight him off, but it seems he went away eventually.
THEY CALL ME HONEY
At one point earlier in the dream dogs came into it again. I was
sitting on the couch in some weird place, and that girl with the
split tongue was sitting across from me, and one of us had a dog
with us and we were talking about it, just casually.
I was speaking to that guy and his girlfriend. This guy had come
into our car. He showed up when I was heading to H’s party. My
dad and my mother and I were out driving around and I told
my dad to stall since it was 6:36 PM and the party only start-
ed at 6:30 PM so I didn’t want to seem so eager and get there
right away. I also wanted to look up some place on my Google
maps because I was thinking of some beautiful hilly places in my
mind and wanted to see them now that I was finally out. Then
we stopped at this little store that looked like a liquor store and
our dog got out—Gizmo or Tokyo. And they ran outside and
began barking at the man who was out front. The man was very
bothered, and I forget exactly what happened, but it escalated
very fast, and suddenly the cops showed up and took the dog
away, impounding him without asking questions. We were all
very hurt and the man was trying to tell us that’s just what hap-
pens and let it be a lesson to us. Next thing I know he’s climbing
into the car with us, but it felt like a van or minivan on the in-
side since there were three rows of seats. I was in the back. He
climbed in the second row, and the car was very dark so I don’t
think he realized someone was behind him until a few minutes
into the drive. I guess he was telling my parents how to get to
the police station or something. I don’t know. I’m confused as to
why he felt the need to come into our car and why my parents
allowed it in the first place. I remember he turned to look at me
but he couldn’t get a good glimpse because of the angle he was so
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sitting at so his head wouldn’t turn all the way, and when I saw
him turning I smiled. But then he move to the left in his seat so
that he could turn his head more, and then he turned his head
slowly to look at me again and I smiled once more, trying to look
friendly, like ‘oh I’m just the boy, I’m just the child of this family.’
I suppose it was a defense mechanism.
Then we got back to my home for some reasons and he was with
us, and I forget what led to this, but I ended up getting locked in
the basement, and I’m banging on the door for a while, and then
he shows up and tells me I’m not going anywhere. So he’s stand-
ing at the top of the steps and I’m at the bottom, and I’m trying
to convince him that there’s no reason for this. But he doesn’t lis-
ten. Then for some reason his girlfriend is with him. That’s when
I start becoming ever more strange and threatening, speaking in
that deep growling inhuman voice.
“But you haven’t yet gotten close to me,” I told them, but I’m not
sure what it was in response to.
My voice became very creepy and growly and snorty and vibra-
tory... I’m trying to think of a voice to compare it to because I
know there are some but I can’t think of if. Like that voice Alex
used to do.
“They call me honey, for I am very sweet. But there is honey on

my leaves, and the flies... They are attracted to the honey... and
then they find themselves getting caught in it... and then... When
I am hungry... I have them there when I need them.” And then
I quickly slapped the wall by the light switch where there were a
couple flies and then put my hand into my mouth before slinking
back into my room. So I ate like two flies but they were just fruit
flies. I could hear the woman gasping. They had no idea what
the fuck they just witnessed. I was saying my words in pairs of
threes, and the way my voice was vibrating was creepy as hell. I
just changed so suddenly to where I seemed to them like a demo-
niac rather than some boy.
I was thinking ‘holy shit, that was good. I was so creepy. should
I wake up before I forget this or before something goes wrong?’
Then I picked up my phone to check the time and the stupid
click noises from scrolling were coming through my stereo so it
was paired with my laptop so I quickly turned down my volume
so as to not ruin the moment. Then I was just like fuck it I’m
waking up.
Right before I woke up I’m like ‘damn who knows how much
crazier my dreams would get if I wasn’t always waking myself up
right after things started to get interesting since I was so eager to
remember them?’
KINDNESS
I was walking down the street with some girl and saying how I
wanted to be kind to people even when they had hurt me, or I
wanted to be the bigger one in it all. And I remember some old
man nearby overhearing. It wasn’t consequential or anything but
I just remember him looking at us while I was talking to her: we
were walking through a mall at the time. Then I returned home,
and went upstairs into the office.
Doug showed up in my driveway in need of kratom for some rea-

son. I was with someone else at the time but I was like fine, I’ll be
right down.
On my way down I noticed my father was on the phone arguing

with Rocky and it was weird. Apparently Rocky had tried to
reach me and my dad intercepted. I didn’t even have the time to
figure out what that was all about.
So then I went out on the deck and I saw Doug out by the street
and I waved him on in, if somewhat reluctantly saying “You can
come in in,”and he seemed surprised, and I’m like sure whatever,
I’ll get your stuff. I was being very easygoing and he did not ex-
pect that of me after what he had done.
I was like where the fuck did all these white haired people appear
from and why are they all congregating around the cereal cabi-
net. There were suddenly just tons of people in my house after
Doug showed up and it was so hard to get around. It was really
frustrating me because they were just clogging the hall.
So I went downstairs and began fitting the kratom into capsules,

when I realized I both didn’t have enough kratom or enough
capsules, having miss judged how much I would need, and had to
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run back upstairs to get more, and I was annoyed. Then I started
to worry that my other friends would start to like Doug and I felt
like maybe I should have warned them about how he is and how
he will get them to like him and then use/betray them.
Early on before all of this I was sitting in a bunk bed within a

dorm room room speaking to some guy and listening to music.
Asia tried to tell me something at one point.
NEW FEATURE
I was in some weird touristy looking building, like an info sta-
tion. I had just come in from outside where there was a pool
and such and I was on my way ourS I tried to leave through the
kitchen but it was weird for some reason there was a discon-
nect formed between the app and where I was standing. The app
advanced into the kitchen but I was still standing in the main
room. So then I looked over and saw another set of doors and
I asked the nearby employee if I go through these doors, and he
said yes. So I clicked them on my phone and they slid open. And
he said “new feature!” And I said “All of this is new to me, I’ve
never been here before!” And he gave me a weird look. But then
as I went to leave a celebrity was sitting in the way of the door
with his wife, and I went over and laughed and the celebrity sort
of did too. But he didn’t get up. He was just blocking the way. So
then the previous employee came over and sat me in a wheelchair
and began rolling me in circles nearby because apparently it was
inappropriate of me to just stand there and wait on the guy and
he felt this was a better way to let him know I need to get out,
and I thought of maybe offering to pay for a meal or a movie for
the celebrity simply for the inconvenience. It looked like the guy
who played Wolverine.
Where was I before all this though. What was I leaving. I didn’t
want to be in this place anymore. It wasn’t for me. Hmmmm.
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THE ROADSIDE MAZE
Alex and I in the large in that large maze building on the side of
the road. We got separated eventually. I ended up in that room
with those giant animals in cages that were snorting, like prehis-
toric. And there were all these playground things like tubes and
slides which were the only way out of this building but they were
too small. I passed by a door at first but was too hesitant to open
it. Then I went back out and started calling out to Alex but no
one came.
I remember earlier when Alex and I got here he did something

with someone’s truck. There was just a random pick up truck.
And I was like you shouldn’t do that. That’s when we separated.
I distanced myself from him because I didn’t want to get in trou-
ble.
Eventually I decided to go through the mysterious door. I just

worried I would encounter people. But I was not going to get
out of here otherwise. And I planned to wake myself up if things
got too scary. That’s when I found myself facing a staircase and a
hooded man was walking down the staircase towards me. Really
creepy: And he recognized me and said “Ifs been a while. I am so
and so, I worked with your father, don’t you remember?” but I
knew that this guy corrupted someone or did something wrong
and I had been waiting to get my revenge so this was to be my re-
venge scene. I grabbed on to the guy and these button prompts
came up like a video game, like smash triangle and x to beat and
strangle, or smash square and circle to interrogate. So I was beat-
ing him up and I dragged him to a cliff where I held him over the
edge, over the water, and then used a sword to cut his hair that I
was holding him by and he fell into the water below.
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Then I turned around slowly and noticed that there were dozens
of other people on the roof with me... young women and mend
all having a party or something and they just watched me kill this
hooded old man. So I went and hid. Then it shows me s while
later crawling sneakily across the area through the partying peo-
ple whispering if anyone had any laptop or tablet I could borrow
to check something, because I still didn’t know how to get out of
here.
PROSELYTIZER
There was this large room in which we would all be traveling. A
bus I suppose. But there were many seat-beds. I got one with my
dad, but me and the guy behind me hit it off and wanted to sit
together. As soon as I had made a friend and wanted to talk to
him my dad starts witnessing to us so I gave this stern loud lec-
ture about the appropriateness of his actions and I was so god-
damn angry. There was a lot more that went on but I’m way too
tired.
2175
DOWNSTAIRS SHOWER
I was trying to climb up into that room from below and that girl
kept taking the opportunity to grope me from behind as I was
climbing up. She was some rap celebrity who I didn’t know but
I later heard her saying that she liked me because I was so mis-
understood. I made it up into the second floor where there were
these giant beds and I was taking all the pillows and throwing
them off the bed into the corner since it made it easier for a lot
of people to sit here and apparently that’s what was going to hap-
pen at the party.
Then there was that weird scene with that guy and girl doing
some line on stage and the guy whispered something but I
couldn’t tell what he said because it was in another language and
then the girl says “My father is listening, [boy’s name]” and he
tries to act nonchalant but the girl then walks off stage; leaving
him there. Like he asked her something inappropriate about her
life in front of everyone not realizing she was mic’d up.
Before all of this was that part where I was asking that woman if
I could use the downstairs shower.
There was that scene with all the politicians having dinner at a
long table in a fancy place. Not sure what role I played there.
Much earlier I was in my Londonberry home with my family

preparing for an earthquake or something to hit. I knew it was
going to be huge and expected big aftershocks that would dev-
astate. So I came upstairs and they were watching a movie and
I was asking if it was going to happen while I was asleep and I
hated that. And then I raised my fist and said “This is how I feel
when something disturbs my sleep!” But they weren’t paying at-
2176
tention to me. Just watching their movie. So then I started pitch-

ing a movie idea called “Tendon versus Sleep”.
Anyway, that girl was talking to some other girl I used to date,
and I remember the ex still liked me and so when the the girl said
she fancied me I remember my ex tried not to feel jealous but I
could tell she was trying to convince the other girl not to go for
me, for selfish reasons. It was okay because I didn’t like any of
them anyway.
SUMMONERS
Asia and I were summoning these creatures somehow. We sum-
moned one and then immediately attempted to seal ourselves in
these various rooms just so we didn’t have to deal with the ramifi-
cations. I didn’t know what had become of it until much later on
because I went and sealed myself in Alex’s room, and there were
clones of him, one naked and three not, and he was annoyed I
busted in there but it was funny. I was in my underwear myself,
but then his mom came in, so I hid in the corner, albeit barely, I
was just standing here with my back to them while hoping they
would go away without saying anything. And other people start-
ed pouring in. That’s when his older brother came in and saw me
and ushered me out and brought me into his recording studio. I
was wowed. It was like a large studio and theater with a beautiful
atmosphere. Everything was dark blue and black. Ambient light-
ing. Like a minimalistic tech showroom. When I mentioned
that I was soon going to have to deal with a monster he didn’t
like that and almost made me leave. I assured him if wouldn’t
concern him, but I kept making references, like “Aww this is so
comfy. Too bad in a few minutes from now I’ll be stained with
BLOOD.” So then I eventually left.
I met up with my dad. I asked him where asia was. He said

she’s fine and doing such and such. I asked him if he’s seen any-
thing weird. And he goes “Yeah, there was this animal.” And
so I’m all nervous. Then this guy who I was with, who I no
longer think was the brother, Was making some comment, play-
ing dumb, since I had instructed him earlier that he must play
dumb. Where he acted dumb to the idea that I knew what the
creature was and just attributed all of this to something else, like
2178
a weird approach, I don’t know it’s hard to explain, but he made

a comment or joke that fell flat but was strategic.
So he tells me about this giant cat with these markings all over
its body. I forget how he described them. As like 3D fingers or
something weird all over its body. It emerged from a pool of
shimmering water and attacked them, and Asia had to call him
to help diffuse the situation. It was an actual tiger or something.
Very alien looking. I think they finally got it, possibly killed it,
but it was very scary and intense, not like I’m describing it here.
Very demonic.
I remember while speaking to my dad outside I realized that the

brother’s room was right in front of me and I could see like an
inch underneath the blinds into his room but it was all dark and
purply. He was in there with some other man and we weren’t sup-
posed to act like we knew each other so I avoided staring in the
room and resumed my talk with my father although I then told
the people I was with about how awesome his room is.
I don’t know why or how we summoned the finger tiger.
Then there was that part where I was walking outside and I re-
united with Asia and spoke about these things. She was by this
building. And I went over and Jeff was in the window, and I was
supposed to follow some protocol and couldn’t be here yet. But
when I ignored that he gave me a chance to finish it now; to
complete or win it now, and so I think I answered the question
correctly.
Then I found myself with my dad or someone walking up to

this narrow body of water and it was shimmery and they were
just entering it and that wasn’t supposed to happen and I was
worried since this was the water from which emerged the tiger.
They struggled a bit at first but ended up being fine and went off
ahead where they interacted with these old haggy women and
prophets. There was something bad about them, something dis-
honest, like they were the reason we were in this predicament in
the first place and it felt as if this is the first time we were seeing
them after some incident.
Then I got back into this long building and there were only old
ladies and old men at the front. I forget what they were doing
but it was a ceremony. And I was here before but I felt betrayed
by them. It was shady. It was a very narrow row. And I walked
down to the center. Then I went back into the Charldon kitchen
and saw that there was hardly anything in the cabinets because
we were all about to leave/move to another house.
At the end there was this horrible scene involving gang violence
at gas stations and all these guys had switchblades and were just
slashing at each other and I found it very hard to watch.
ONYX
This dream is all out of order and I can’t be assed to fix it right
now while my reality is spinning and pulsating.
At the end that girl introduced me as a “Onyx” or something like

that to the royalty, who was foreign (they were Russian I think)
and allowed me to come in, because I was previously in the main
singing hall but I had to leave and then I couldn’t get back in. So
I needed her help. Then she guided me to the wrong singing hall.
On the way there she encountered some woman speaking I’ll of
her ex who was also this girl’s ex and so she was speaking negative
of this girl and I felt her pain so I put my arm around her as we
walked. Then she led me into the wrong place and we had to turn
around.
I had previously been up on stage and had to follow a specific

performer, but his went on too long and I didn’t go in on time,
and it was somewhat of a disaster as I refused to go in and tried to
change everything mid-performance. I walked over to the line-
up and asked one of the women to go on in my place and then I
briefly disappeared but fully intending to come back.
Earlier on I was at a different party where there was that room

with the snobby CD guys, including the guy from Lynchburg,
and earlier before that I was talking to Uncle Jamie, and before
that to Poppop.
I was sitting with Angela for a while, until I went for a walk into
that nearby courtyard and that landslide thing swept me away
where I grabbed that one guy’s ankle. At the end I appeared with
like five guys I knew, but when the next row or two of people
2181
came in they were unfamiliar. We had been transferred to some

cult location by the guy who ran the opera.
I wanted Angela to drive me home because she seemed lik she’d

be funner in the car. I had CD’s. She didn’t seem to buy the ex-
planation, so she didn’t say yes outright, but I sat with her out-
side on the steps. Then Mandy came out and sat with us. We sat
together and chatted until I, for some reason, wandered into the
yard to the left of us. A courtyard well lit and fancy where there
were these snobbier guys that looked French. I forget why I went
over there, when I came back I remember talking to them. When
I had nearly returned to the yard/property where my party was
taking place. The ground turned to this crazy sliding sand which
sucked us all down this giant winding hill and into some build-
ing. Alex was there, plus some kid, plus some guy we played with
in the past—some other guitarist who wasn’t very good so we
kept demeaning him as he tried to play Metallica or something
but not well, and he was young too.
This is the place which eventually gave way to the performance

venue. But it was definitely a cult in which we were now trapped.
And we knew once the bald guy stepped out.
That part where I made a wrong turn and was overlooking the
city at night and had to do some weird dream trick where I back-
tracked and ended up back with that girl at the point where we
were leaving the room of royalty; where I had sat in for a wall
while waiting for them to clear me
Before this I had been caught scaling some wall and got in trou-
ble with a guy, who is ultimately the one who brought me to this
room.
ENTITY CONCEPTION
There was that cool demon boy who showing up for me. He ap-
peared in the dining room that night. I knew he was there so I
went to find him. He ended up going off with my sister and I
could hear them in the next room over as he was showing her
my music—specifically Hydrobromide, while I was in my sisters
room writing something out and finding little puppies crawling
here and there along the mess, like two cocker spaniels. I don’t
know why he was doing that but he was explaining to her why
what I did was an achievement and what it meant.
This was after that huge father flip out from the politics. I got so
upset at the life lost and pointed out the criminality of the GOP
in handling the situation and he denied it.
So I remember being in this woman’s fifth dimensional bath-

room. And changing my pants real quick. I guess we were going
to get intimate. Then I started thinking “Wait a minute... if this
is Anita’s mother, am I Anita’s father?”
Then there was a knock on the door and when I opened it a short
mailman stood there in front of the woman. He wasn’t short, per
se, but he was shorter than both of us, and she was a bit taller
while standing behind him. And he started telling me something
then she hugged me through him and it was really funny but
weird. It felt like a telegram. Then she told me this long weird
story about how Michael Jackson made it more culturally accept-
able for men to like older women and I had no idea if what she
was saying was true. She jus coming out with these random anec-
dotes that may not have even been correct.
2183
Okay so who the hell was this woman. She wasn’t supposed to be
connected with that other guy who kept showing up, but they al-
ways appeared at the same time. The guy was young and cool and
had very piercing eyes and he was extremely into me. I knew he
was some kind of demon, but that’s not to say that he was had.
Just an otherworldly entity. He was really cool looking. His eyes
looked insane. Not as a whole. Just the retinas. As if he was wear-
ing theatrical lenses.
I remember seeing him sitting there on the stairs in the dark after
Asia let him in, and I was being nice, and I could tell from how
he responded to my greetings he was so happy to see me but try-
ing not to show it. There was an eagerness to him.
Then shortly after that I went to the door and that’s when I saw
the woman standing there for the first time in the dream. She
was with someone else but I forget who. And for some reason
I was thinking she was Anita’s mother even though I don’t re-
member seeing Anita. I just remember having a “Oh god, it’s you
again,” feeling, because this woman was so into me and got me
to be intimate with her last time apparently, and it was this very
crazy situation
So I’m standing here like what the fuck is going on. First that guy
shows up and now this woman. I feel like I’m missing some de-
tails here though between the time she showed up and the end,
and how I ended up in her bathroom.
The dream started off with my father sitting in some room doing
work. Oh my god the part with the marshmallow sandwich...
there were two other ingredients on it that made it so impal-
itable. I was listening to some British guy on the radio and he
was talking about this disgusting idea for a sandwich so I quickly
went to try it. Then right after I did, it was disgusting and left
a really bad aromatic taste in my mouth, just three ingredients

which did NOT mix well, then some celebrity chef walks in my
kitchen and asks what I’m doing, and I try to hide the sandwich
I had just made but he wants a bite so I let him take one. I forget
his response but it wasn’t good. Then later the British man from
the radio shows up and I’m telling him what happened. This was
where I was when the doorbell rang I think. And the woman had
shown up for me. While the demon guy was already in the house
having let himself in and I could sense him lurking in the dark-
ness of the dining room.
Before all of this I was in this warehouse like building working

with my father and we were watching some political speech and
I was so upset by what I was seeing that I couldn’t contain my
anguish and spoke about how they’re killing people and my dad
grew furious with me and tried to harm me, but I got him to
stop. Then I made French fries, but he ordered French fries from
a fast food place at the same time that I cooked some, and I
thought Aww goddamn those look better and I was jealous, and
I asked if he at least had any more sauce dips to spare and he
said no. Then I walked over to my mother to say something and
I caught her just staring at my plate.
I remember Asia and that guy were talking about some band on
the stairs when I came up to them. Asia was like relating the
questions to me “Do you have a favorite album by such and such
artist?”
“Oh, of course,” and I told them the name.
And the guy sort of mouthed it when I said it and then seemed
happy that I said what I did, because that’s the one they were
talking about. And then we were talking about how that band
had apparently sold the rights to all their albums a while ago
back in like 2007 and it’s a shame.
At the very end I remember that I didn’t actually plan to wake

up. I intended to spend more time with that woman and see
what became of it, but I accidentally woke myself up by trying to
organize my memories of the dream so that I could recall them
better once I awoke. I had been going through all that happened
up to that point.
The feel of this dream was so weird, so cosmic. As if something

was about to happen and everyone was in on it but I was at the
center of it and it was significant. And at the end I was thinking
“Wait, is this where we conceive Anita?”
That woman’s presence was so strange. She was very alluring but
so intense that I sort of feared her. I feared what she was capa-
ble of. I feared displeasing her. She definitely wasn’t human even
though she looked human. These were all these very spiritual
or demonic people. Had the presence of Morticia Addams even
though she didn’t look like her.
Why the mailman... I don’t know. It was like he was possessed.

Just being used by the woman for this silly stunt. It was so weird.
She was hugging me through him. Because I don’t think she
could hug me directly. Not yet. But there was so much weird sex-
ual tension between us, due to something that apparently hap-
pened last time she was around.
DOG UNDERWATER
Oh, that was a very emotionally-charged dream, but a lot of the
specifics elude me. I was outside with my father working on the
side of the building when I got into a long, emotional rant about
how harmful religion is to the psyche and I was so emotional and
then I learned he wasn’t listening. Oh, I think I did this twice.
The first time he became violent with me and the second time
he wasn’t listening. Then I went and played with two dogs which
appeared like the same dogs from the previous dream. They were
swimming in a pool, trailing behind the people, and one of them
was walking under water instead of swimming on the surface, so
I kept having to make sure that it came up to get air since it didn’t
seem to know how to do it right. I asked Asia what they named
them: she said the big one, which swam, was Righty, so they just
decided to name the smaller one (which walked on the bottom
of the pool floor) Lefty.
2187
WE’VE REACHED THE ROLL-
OUT
I remember after the event I went up to my mom or someone
and vaguely asked “Is everyone alright?” Technically meaning to
ask “Has anyone died in our family?” And she didn’t say any-
thing to indicate that anyone had died but I sensed it so.
Then I went walking down the street in Charldon shortly after-

wards although I think another scene transpired between these
parts. I went walking a ways down the street toward the dip in
the road where there there was this car parked on the side of the
road and I climbed inside of it and I shut myself in and said to
myself something like “This is where it begins. We finally reached
the roll-out.” Or something like that. And I was talking to myself
about how my family was going to start to die off and once it
happened everyone would start to die at once, grandparents and
then parents and whoever, and it was a weird feeling. I think
Jeiezza was with me. And then I remember just standing there on
the way back... on the roadway by the hill.
Before all of this I was at an outdoor festival. I saw Kevin or

someone and ran up to him all excited to see if there was any-
thing I could do to help, because something had just happened
in his family and it was public knowledge and I wanted to know
if I could do anything. But for some reason he seemed very put
off by my forwardness and saw me as getting in his face so I apol-
ogized and I asked if it was worthwhile for him to come down
this weekend/week and if he enjoyed himself over the course of
his stay.
I had been standing there at the end of this festival looking

around and seeing things resolve themselves. I watched someone
2188
I knew on a screen as his baby was being born, and the man
had this strange expression during the event that very few people
would have noticed, but I noticed it. And I was watching it on
a screen, his reaction to his baby being born. That’s when I saw
Kevin run over to... Kevin. There were two of him, but they
were supposed to be separate people. The one who went over was
younger. So they were like brothers.
There was a part before all of this where I was on a ledge, and
there was this huge weapon. Something electrical, and it was
some two piece makeshift war weapon that people had learned
to combine to create something truly diabolical. I was just hang-
ing around this weird ledge in a strange area of the place. And
this woman called me to her car or her closet and I asked me if
I wanted these clothes. And they were weird clothes. Like span-
dex shorts and stuff like that. And I knew that this had already
happened before so time was repeating itself but I was using dif-
ferent answers whereas before I had declined her.
But I knew my dad was going to be here soon and I had to get
going, which is when the weapon thing happened. I was hanging
off the ledge when a soldier came running by and demonstrat-
ed the weapon so I got up and looked at it. The setting was very
strange. Very dystopian and video game like.
None of these seems like an accurate portrayal of what actually

happened since it was very abstract but oh well. There was a lot
more to it but I’m tired.
THE DRIFTER AND THE
CHOCOLATE KISS
I went out driving and I got lost and didn’t trust my ability to
drive back as I was already very skittish. So I pulled over at a
Sheetz type gas station and called my father to pick me up. Then
I got bored and went across the street to the parking lot of a craft
store. Night was falling, and some guy ended up entering into
my car and he was really threatening. His presence made me un-
comfortable, although it was clear that he just wanted someone
to talk to. Might have been some homeless punk. So we talked
for a long time. Whenever it would take me too long to respond
he would start getting really weird and impatient as if I had be-
trayed him. Our conversation simultaneously seemed to be tak-
ing place in person and online.
At the end I put a chocolate bar in my mouth, like a sort of Kit

Kat bar, and then went over and kissed Jeiezza with it still in
my mouth. We were in the Pine Hill living room. I was doing it
merely to be funny, but she was telling me some story about some
time when I did this before and she ended up having digestive is-
sues and had to go to the hospital as a result, and I told her that
that didn’t seem like a real reason to go to the hospital, and then
we started comparing bad stomach ache stories from our pasts.
2190
TRIPLE CHOCOLATE SNACK
Weird dream where my parents called over PH or someone like
him to listen to me. Don’t know why, but we all had to sit down
and I had to talk about issues I was having. So the four of his all
sat around in couches, him, me and my parents. Went into faults
of my father and there was one part when I said something about
how it’s not that I don’t know all this stuff I just don’t have any-
one to tell it to, and he mentioned psychological counseling and
I got very bent out of shape at what he was suggesting and felt
that he was undermining my own psychological understanding
so that made things awkward for a few minutes there. He had to
take a phone call at one point and then I went into the London-
berry kitchen to prepare a snack, taking three chocolate cookies,
which I then reduced to two because I thought three might be
too much, and then crumbled them into large chunks in a plas-
tic cup, covered them with chocolate pudding and then topping
it with a scoop of chocolate ice cream or whip cream. When my
dad saw what I was doing he scowled at me but said nothing. I
remember the man came back into the room before I was done
and I said I’ll be a minute and they got upset that I was making
them wait but I was like it’s not a big deal I just want a snack.
2191
PARTIES AND PARTIES
At the beginning I was at this sort of party get-together with a
few guys. We were all just having fun drinking and eating in cel-
ebration of my birthday that day and then it was Alex’s birthday
the next day apparently.
A few days later I returned to Pine Hill, and Asia was having a
party of her own and one of the guys who had been at my party
was there and she had written him a card in my name because I
didn’t realize it was his birthday and it was just a very low thing
of her to do because well it wasn’t really in my name but talked
about how I forgot so she was doing this for me and I got mad.
He never told me his birthday was coming up only a few days lat-
er and we had only just seen each other a day earlier.
I remember that time where I spent a night later by myself in

some basement recreation room that looked like John’s house
and I was just going through the fridge and there were these old
puddings and I was so tempted but they were expired.
Some popular actor had apparently killed himself and it was on

the news as well as lists of suicides and apparently he tried to
contact me beforehand. It was the last thing he did before killing
himself. Apparently we kept him in some shack or something
on our property and the boy who was in charge of overseeing it
hadn’t been doing everything he was supposed to do to ensure
that the actor had a his basic needs met.
Then back at Pine Hill during my sister’s party it was so fucking

annoying. Everything had been rearranged. My bedroom was
very different and the dog was up in my bed and children were
in the room and that’s when I went to complain to my mother in
2192
the computer room and she told me about the card. Then later
I looked out the window and saw that my father had eliminated
the fence between our house and our neighbor and I was so so so
upset calling it the stupidest thing he’s ever done.
Eventually he was able to put it back since he had kept all of the
fence pieces but goddamn that really frustrated me. There was all
that stuff much earlier with my sitting at a table with Asia and
Chelsea. Goddamn it was a long dream.
COFFEE AND CHEESE
At the end I was sitting outside on the steps with RW as she
was quizzing me but she was being surprisingly understanding,
meanwhile I think she was eating. After I answered her she was
talking about how she would really like some coffee. And I said
“coffee with cheese?” Because that’s what she was eating. And she
said “oh yeah I’ve had coffee with everything. Coffee with olives.
Coffee with cheese.” And I kept wanting to say coffee with straw-
berries.
Some rumble happened in the parking lot earlier. Oh that’s right

I dropped an f bomb at that guy with the two daughters when I
was saying bye to Justin P. in the driveway. He got in his car and
was gonna ride off with some other guy. He took off suddenly
without my notice and warning when I thought we were having
good convos and so I summoned him back so he drove back and
explained where he was going so we were just talking in the mid-
dle of the parking lot. And that douche bag guy stands there and
tells him that he can’t sleep there. And he was ignored. And the
guy said it again. And I think I said “DOES IT LOOK LIKE
HE’S FUCKING SLEEPING THERE?” And that was such a
huge no no because we’re right in the church parking lot. I re-
member wearing my face mask. I think the guy was even mock-
ing me for my mask and saying how godly people don’t need
them. And so then shortly after that I remember sitting by the
steps waiting for my father to get out of worship practice and
people were overheard speaking about me and some event that
happened. As if I caused some crazy event. But they didn’t know
what happened. Only secondhand. So they didn’t know I was
standing there among them.
2194
So then at the end yeah, RW came out and asked me about

prayer and what I thought of certain things. And I gave an an-
swer she liked. I remember I gave this long answer in response
to some question. And it had to do with how Christians think
everything should be chocked up to some special reason whereas
seculars think shit just happens. And how I still maintained my
religious way of thinking even after leaving the church so that I’m
still looked at as deeply religious by others, despite not believ-
ing in god. That’s when the coffee and cheese conversation hap-
pened. Well first she brought up something I did earlier, where
I took part in some challenge to make some little veggie wrap of
sorts and she was fascinated by how I did it so she brought it up
again.
Much earlier there was that part where JP walked by and said
hello and I followed him out into the parking lot and we were
talking and that’s when I saw my dad getting something out of
his truck.
I spent a lot of the dream in the foyer browsing my phone, be-

cause after I got to church I realized it was the last Sunday of
the month and so it was communion night (where there is no
youth group and the youth has to sit in the boring service) and
I thought damnit I don’t want to sit in there. And I remember
explaining it to someone saying I’m too used to being alone and
so I have the habits of an alone person and worried they’ll appear
now like I’ll be touching my hair or clearing my throat too much.
I was having a bad hair day I remember that. I kept going in and
trying to fix it in the mirror. I was in the bathroom earlier. And
those guys came in and they were all joking and I was making
funny comments to them. But yeah then I came out, wrapped
myself in a blanket and sat in the foyer during the service. I sat
across from Joe. He didn’t say anything or even look at me real-

ly. So I just sat there pretending to pay attention but I was either
falling asleep or listening to music or whatever.
After all of this Justin shows up in the foyer and I’m like whoa
and I call him over and he comes over and takes a seat next to
me so I explain what I’ve been doing and we’re talking about mu-
sic and now he looks like BM and is saying how he doesn’t listen
to as much music these days and will just choose a couple awe-
some songs and loop them over and over again, and I told him I
get that. We talked for a little bit until he went outside and just
sort of disappeared into someone’s car without saying goodbye
so that was disheartening, which was when I called him back to
say goodbye and then that f bomb scene happened.
While talking to RW I remember giving the example “it’s better

for me nowadays where... if I trip over a nail in the floor I don’t
just go and blame Satan, but actually stop and assess my own at-
titude and actions and see how I can improve and analyze what I
did wrong instead of just seeing it all as some cosmic fate or some
consequence of sin.” And she actually seemed like she liked the
way I put it, whereas I was expecting a rebuke.
I remember early on at the beginning I was getting ready to go to

church and fixing my hair and wasn’t even sure I wanted to go.
Then I left with my family and was in the car. I was sitting in the
sanctuary for a little while at first on the left front side where the
youth sat and I think I was talking to Jessi but then I realized it
was the last Sunday of the month.
When me and Justin were sitting in the lobby talking I remember

we were talking about old cartoons and I brought up Mummies
Alive and he was shocked to hear that name because he thought
he dreamed it and couldn’t believe someone else knew of that

show.
BLOOD TANKS COMING
There was definitely a much more romantic part early on, pos-
sibly before all the tank night stuff started. The woman was my
wife, and we were inseparable and so so cute. And there was
choreography, but the tone soon shifted and it apparently be-
came another dream entirely.
I think we had a home intruder at the beginning of the dream.

I remember sitting on the deck, and people started showing up
at the house. It was a big deal, but I don’t think it was the bad
thing we anticipated. I seem to remember a bunch of people
showing up in the yard, and this is what ultimately warned us
about the tanks that were coming. So this is when I took off run-
ning, running through the night. I left early on and went walking
around the local developments. I was so frazzled when taking off
that I accidentally left without my phone and other belongings,
which I left in my dad’s truck. This would end up bothering me
throughout the rest of the dream, as I couldn’t track what was
going on or get in touch with anyone. Yet I was too worried to go
back. I stopped on the roadside at one point because I was hav-
ing breathing difficulties, but then I encountered a young man
while walking and convinced him to partner up, after which I
followed him to a home group setting. I ended up staying with a
little home group of guys for much of the dream.
At one point I used the bathroom and it was bizarre. There were
like ten toilets in one bathroom, except that they were not actu-
ally toilets but wicker baskets and I was so confused until Some-
one told me the bowls are not set up. It was not a public restroom
but someone’s house.
2198
I spent most the dream sitting with these people, discussing

strategies and plans on where to go. I showed up at the place and
I was like “Do you guys remember me? I saw you years ago.” Then
I favored the youngest guy with whom I decided to walk back to
my house. I asked to bum a cigarette and when he gave me one I
sang a funny little tune about how I haven’t smoked in a decade.
There were those two girls I was on good terms with when I was
wearing a leather jacket and I was gonna go out into the world
with that other guy and I was telling them that we’re not how we
appear.
Then we left to go to a store-like place. I stayed near the entry,

watching the outside while the guy went in and grabbed us some
snacks. I remember striking up conversations here. The elemen-
tary school right next to the store got demolished in front of my
eyes when the tanks showed up. It was so terrifying when they
appeared, since I had heard so much about them but had nev-
er yet seen them. I had to travel so deep into the woods they
wouldn’t bother coming after me, resulting in a claustrophobic
scene within the dream in which I am pushing endlessly and ever
further into a black thicket of branches, believing that the fur-
ther I go, the safer I will be.
Eventually, at the very end of the dream, I made it back to my

house and was so shocked to find it still standing after witnessing
several structures being completely obliterated by tanks. So I fi-
nally retrieved my phone and then got to sit and rethink what I
wanted to do and where I needed to go.
AWKWARDO IN AEVITERNITY
At the end of the dream I was at this arcade select module which
levels selecting which places I wanted to match the difference
characters and locations to. Like swamp and trenches and
forests. One was called Aeviternity. One was called emerald
mines I think. One was trenches. And then I chose some masked
man named Awkwardo.
A little foggy on the details of this one. But it felt like a video
game. I was in this warehouse. Suiting up and getting ready for
this weird adventure. So I was selecting all of the things I’d be us-
ing and the location I’d be exploring.
2200
DIM
From the getting stuck on the couch at end between the grand-
ma who was too close, while I had a yellow blanket and we were
browsing the streaming service and she said the links don’t click
and I said that it was just this one page or panel which seems to
mess up. And I noticed that the color of the streaming service re-
sembled my blanket color.
Then the time I accidentally fell when walking into the dark
kitchen at night and I saw a grandpa in a chair facing the other
way, facing nothing at all, and I knew he was paralyzed and mute
and couldn’t do anything and I just sort of slowly moved out of
the kitchen.
Some scene when I envisioned myself punching Micah and really

going at it and wondering how I would have fared in such a fight
and whether he would have played fair.
Before all of this there seemed to be a sad scene involving my dad.

It was a weird sad dream. Felt like paternal grandparents. Dim lit
house, sad atmosphere.
Earlier, but this may have been a different dream there was that
highly emotional part where I uncovered some old music, and
there was a maudlin album that I was searching because it had
a song in it that I had forgotten. I woke up at that point and
fell back asleep. The song was not real but sort of sounded like
Gemlike. That dream was the one where I was with my mother in
some mansion. And the part where I was walking around in the
sidewalk when I came in contact with something... oh there was
a little bus stop and there was a little machine there into which I
put a coin and got a sticker or some such.
2201
MAZE MAKER
I created several rooms of mazes. I remember being in one maze
with Asia when we received a message from my mother asking
where we were because she could hear us even though she
thought we were out and we knew that this meant someone had
found their way into a maze by the house. We could hear them in
the next room and we weren’t prepared. So I had to quickly run
over to a box in the corner and load the paintball gun with yel-
low balls, plug in the black light machine and maybe something
else. Then two militaresque guys eventually entered our room
and we could hear them talking at the other end “Dammit, an-
other maze! Do we want to just go back or try it?” So they start-
ed going through it. When one guy reached our side not know-
ing me my dad and asia were there I think I whacked him with
a pillow several times and once he was on the ground I started
pelting his face with paintballs. He asked me to stop. I said “Tell
me your name and what you are doing here and I’ll consider it.”
Meanwhile I can see his friend leaving the room on the other
end, and this made the guy that I captured very upset when he
learned this. He had been abandoned.
A few minute later some angry girl entered the room and came
dashing through the maze at a super quick speed and I’m calling
out to her as I hear her making her way to us. Then I realize my
paintball gun got emptied so I’m on the floor refilling it all fran-
tically. And I’m yelling out to the girl:
“Yo, do you need something from us? Girls get in free. I’ll give
you whatever you need.” Or something like that in an attempt to
prevent some sort of fight when she makes it over.
2202
When she got to my side of the maze she was so angry and I
quickly attempted to diffuse her. I’m like “What do you want, I
got you.” And she held up an empty plastic care of bird millets,
and said she needed some of these as food for her plants. And I
said “No problem, how much does that cost?”
“About eight dollars.”
“When do you need it by? Can you wait until later tonight? Be-
cause I can swing by Petsmart on the way back.”
And she says “Yeah, that’s fine.”
And I’m like “Okay, I’ll do that.” Then I walk her over to the
bird cage in my maze and I ask what kind of birds she has, “Para-
keets?” While looking at the birds that were apparently mine.
And she reiterates “Not birds. Plants.”
And I go “Okay, right. But how is that possible? How do they eat
the millets? Is it just an oxygen thing?”
NIGHTMARE DRIVE
Ugh, what was going on here. A lot of family members were over,
I think. I think this was the right dream and not one I already
wrote down earlier? It was like a family reunion taking place in
this house. And I remember Colleen was married to this jerk and
I got really angry when I went walking toward the baby and he
like clotheslined me in my throat. And I was really pissed off.
Then I remember being outside the house in the street, but it was
outside Nanny and Poppop’s old house.
Okay so what was the deal with the police and detectives raiding
the family reunion... and me sitting downstairs or upstairs just
eating snacks while the cops are over asking questions. It was just
an annoying event and I didn’t want to be around anyone.
Oh and that thing that happened later, after the reunion but be-
fore all the driving, with Tyler, where we were moving in slow
motion or something bizarre.
Then later on I found myself stranded in this bizarre place and

couldn’t get out. I needed some help getting out of my predica-
ment. I did something to help and they paid me in these large
bills. But then I had to spend those bills to get home. So I called
SP and she had to come drive me out of here. But it was this
nightmarish drive.
SP was having to drive between all these narrow walls and then
through the Minecraft-esque desert landscapes at night and then
through this flaming landscape filled with monsters and I’m like
“just a little further.” There was this little hole in the wall accessed
by climbing on these rocks so I’m like “there, that’s it!”And once
we made it through it was like LEVEL TWO COMPLETE.
2204
AndI was just trying to make it back to the point at which I

had started from and didn’t realize we were actually completing
a new level so I was like whoa.
When done I looked through my wallet and was like “Here’s the
thing. All my bills are either too large or they’re gift certifica-
tions. I had several 100$ gift certificates.” And I’m reading them
off to her, that’s when she points out my prescription list. I was
looking through my wallet trying to find the right bills. And she
was charging me eight dollars a mile and I’m like damn that’s
kind of steep. At least I’m only like two miles away. I was trying
not to be a jerk to her since she was helping me out. She saw a
prescription list of mine in my wallet and said “I’ll just take that”
and pointed to some pills that I had actually set aside for her ear-
lier because I didn’t need them, though my dad might have made
off with them earlier.
After this whole thing transpires the dream switches to this

movie set where the guy from those marvel movies is completely
nude and he’s doing it as a joke. And at first he’s pixelated.
They’re all celebrating something. Then he comes outside and
he’s acting a bit down. I don’t know if the humiliation is catching
up with him. He sits down near a guy who is conducting inter-
views for some sort of news show and the guy doing the inter-
views is like “hold on now, what’s this” as the naked guy comes
walking up. He didn’t see him at first because he was surrounded
by staff or guards. He sort of just sat down in a daze or pouting,
second guessing whether he did the right thing
THE CAT PASS
I was in a large basement that was flooding. All of those guys left
and it was just four of us and I asked if we were all trapped, and
I was saying things about how I’ve been here three times before,
living this event several times by now. And so I let them know ex-
actly what was about to happen. I told them that the water would
surge down the hall and then it will submerge this room, and
then I looked for Alex to tell him but he had gone into another
hall or room. They didn’t seem to believe my assessment/predic-
tion but it was so true. Meanwhile I was just sitting there looking
through boxes of toys. I eventually left right before the surge and
wandered out into the streets with another guy.
Everyone was wandering the street after some natural disaster. It

was very late and it was raining very hard. I wandered out with
John or Patrick and at one point I think I saw PN. We sat on the
swing set because the place we really wanted to go was already
taken or full to capacity, and in that time Asia happened to be
passing by. She was on the other side of a nearby tree and I could
hear her talking about me, so she noticed me, so I asked if she
was speaking to me, and she said no. And then I saw Micah take
her and lead her away forcibly. So I said to my friend “Did you
see what he did? Did you see how he forced her to come away
like that? Did you see how he controls her?”
Then I went walking down a long road between forested areas.

There was an area of the woods and street completely overtaken
by sleeping cats. If they awoke and got a hold of you they would
just throw you around.
Oh man, when I first entered that department store it felt like an

SNL skit where people outside were fake fighting and flopping
2206
everywhere and I really had to fight my way through just to get

inside, and when I did I was like ahhhhhh and in a falsetto voice
I sing out the word “airrrr conditionnnning” right as the guy co-
incidentally mentioned the place was air conditioned.
Then I was walking through that department store. It was literal-

ly back in time in the nineties or even the eighties and everyone
had crazy hair and the color was as I remember them from my
childhood. I remember hearing a beautiful song as I was walking
down the road at the end. It sort of had a Kate Bush vibe but I
knew it wasn’t her. Someone similar from that same period. I re-
member at one point wishing I had my voice so I could dictate
the events that were happening through somniloquy to Jeiezza
while she was sleeping next to me. I was fully lucid at this point
and preoccupied with not losing my dream. I thought “What am
I gonna do? I guess I’ll just look for Anita,” so I wandered the
store until I came to the restaurant but I felt so out of place and I
was pushing this large cart through the restaurant portion of the
store, so it was very awkward as I was wheeling a large cart be-
tween peoples dining tables. I was livid and thinking “This ain’t
interesting. This ain’t fun.” And I was so preoccupied with not
losing the dream. On the way out I spilled a bag and I had to lie
about the chicken. They were still upset about the chicken inci-
dent from a week ago and I lied and they believed me because I
don’t eat chicken.
I remember walking through that old restaurant looking at the

silhouettes of the people eating and looking for Anita but not
seeing anyone so I did a quick stroll around and left, almost run-
ning over an open yogurt on the floor on the way out. For some
reason I thought that this was something I did previously, and
the two managers were standing over there still talking about
something I did a week ago, like I was an employee, but I man-
aged to convince them I didn’t steal the chicken, just because I’m
vegetarian and why would I steal a cooked chicken, but the truth
was that it was an accident and no one guessed that much.
I left the department store and went walking down the road
where I got stuck in this place in that cat territory for the third
time. And I was like god dammit why am I back here. Then
I went and looked it up online and the area was known for
that, and it provided some scientific explanation, like how cer-
tain processes are difficult for cats to learn, like learning to leave
the nest or face intruders, but when cats can learn in a group set-
ting it changes how they relate to the experience, so dozens of
them learned it together and so this changed how they view it
and therefore it’s like a sport to them.
BOOK NOOK
Asia and I spent a while in that little book nook talking about my
precious dream involving the cats, but she interrupted me before
I could get the full explanation out though. There were several
kinds of Scooby Doo box sets and I was trying to look for the dif-
ference between them when my mom called us I think because
some lady had been trying to get into this little nook for some
minutes now but my sister and I were taking it up. Asia found
a toy that I had hid there last time I was here, behind some of
the book, which is something we used to do all the time as chil-
dren when we couldn’t get something but wanted to save it for
the next time we were here.
At the end I simply decided to go through the candy aisle and

get some candy. Zero bars and FastBreaks. One of the Zero bars
was a little sticky at one end of the wrapper so I was looking
for another but it seems I got the last one. While walking down
the aisle I spotted Ted Theodore Logan but didn’t say anything.
Then I turned back around because I was looking for candy and
then almost collided with him because he was turning into an
aisle while I was passing.
2209
THE PASSENGER
We almost seemed to stop at a grocery store, and I was encourag-
ing it, as that would give the driver time in the store and me and
the other girl could walk around the nearby development, hav-
ing some time to ourselves, but they weren’t really considering
the idea. It was almost Halloween so there were costumed peo-
ple walking around.
“Look, it's ghost Donald Duck!” And then we saw other ghost
Disney characters draped in sheets. And then while going down
a slight incline in the road there was this little white thing that
jumped in front of the car and the driver swerved to miss it. I was
like “Whoaaa, it’s like “Who’s that Pokémon... you almost hit!”
and the way that I said it elicited a reaction from the girl in the
passenger's seat (sitting directly in front of me).
I didn’t learn till late in the drive that the other girl had actually
left the passenger girl's phone at the other place that we were
previously at. I was so sad when I realized the passenger wasn’t
receiving my texts the whole time during the car ride. When I
found this out I went and looked through the texts and thought
maybe to send a text explaining the context and point in which
each one was sent, so that they made sense to her later.
It was 9:12 when we left the apartment. And now it was like
twenty to thirty minutes later since the three of us, myself and
two girls were in the car. I was in the backseat. And I really had
a crush on the passenger. I think they were taking me home and
I didn’t want that...secretly I suppose. And I was wondering why
the girl wasn’t responding to my texts during the ride back. I only
found out toward the end that she didn’t have her phone on her.
But I felt kind of relieved to hear that after all. I only sent like six
2210
or so messages anyway. Some of the early texts were about a busi-

ness I wanted to start, possibly with their help, which I think was
discussed earlier when we were still in the house that we came
from. Dammit the place we came from seems so foggy.
WALK
Oh, I was in the mall. I walked over to that store with a friend.
That music store, sort of like FYE, where I looked at records.
Then there was that part where I went back to that other store
with a giant doll or something which I initially gave to this store
but they didn’t want it so I tried to sell it elsewhere but then they
had a weird attitude like they wanted to keep it but for free and
you could tell based on his choice of words that he actually liked
the doll but wouldn’t say it. This was me and Asia at this point.
It annoyed her a bit. So we walked out of the place and down
the street and I put my arm around her as we walked. We walked
until we reached a playground-like area at the end of the street.
But then I traveled along the side of the road. Until getting to
this other little pocket of a park. But the spots on the side of the
road where it was usually safe to walk were no longer so and dri-
vers were driving in the grass. Barely missing us. I was wishing I
brought my earbuds if I was going to the park so that I could just
phase out and listen to music.
I performed this really great song. The vocal line sounded some-
thing like “Compound Eyes” (2008), except that it was more am-
bient and intense, and I was going to add drums. The lyrics were
activistic in tone.
A difficult dream to define.
2212
FASHION SHOW
Me, Isaac and Patrick were over John’s house. And it was weird
because it was the present, and John had become this sheepish
and unconfident man. There were all of these coats laid out on
the couch and we all sort of picked a couch without realizing
what was going on. And then we had to stick with the clothes on
that couch and do a fashion show sort of thing.
Someone said I had Italian skin and I took it as a compliment al-

though it seemed like a weird thing to say. I looked good in the
coats. I had this really tight turtleneck coat that was beige and
had these canvas-like quality and artistic designs, and John said I
could have it if I want because he had his own custom one made
recently and I made a joke but I forget what I said. Like, “Does it
say x across the front?”
Then the mom wanted to make sure that we knew there were
snacks in the fridge and we were free to help ourselves. But she
was holding open the door so I’d had a look and all I could see
was like a couple cut-up vegetable plates or bowls and I was view-
ing it from such a weird angle so I can’t tell if I was seeing it right.
But it was weird because it was definitely not snacks”, but I was
still like “Aww, thank you!”
I stood around talking to the mom and sister for a while while
Isaac and Patrick disappeared into one of the rooms. I knocked
after a while and they were playing video games. So I went in and
sat down but I remember it felt super crowded.
A while before all of this we were in an outside place. Maybe

that’s when we arrived at John’s house, and when we were driving
thereto. I’m definitely blanking out on that part.
2213
Then there was the part later when we were all at that room eat-
ing and there was a table with these old people and I was speak-
ing to them. And something to do with soda machines. And the
old people were talking about how they lost their son to suicide
at the age of 33.
Then I went to the other table where Isaac and other married
couples were at, but I couldn’t sit next to Isaac due to the
arrangements. One guy got out of his seat and asked which seat I
wanted, but neither were next to Isaac. I didn’t mind too much,
but I was thinking how can I even sit and eat when they are seat-
ed so close to one another that seems weird.
Then I said to Isaac “Hey, do you want to go to a mall? Because

Roanoke mall is gonna look real good after the crap we’ve been
going to, you know what I mean...”and then I laughed. So then I
believe the dream ended with all of us walking through this gi-
ant mall. Wish I could remember what happened at the mall. I
remember walking through, past’s Spencers-like stores.
INFIDELITY CAKE
I remember getting in a fight with my mother over something,
and I’m like “Fine, I don’t want you as a sponsor. It will reflect
more favorably upon me to have none than to have you.”
Oh this happened in the Pine Hill kitchen after my girlfriend

cheated on me and it resulted in worship practice being canceled
because apparently these situations were connected. My mom
found this out and wanted to know why practice was canceled
and I was like “I dunno.” And she heard the news on the website.
I remember on the church website that they used some of my al-
bum covers without knowing that that’s what they were.
When my mom came into the kitchen I was standing in there

with a small cake in a container. The cake was given to me as a
get-well cake due to the infidelity. I couldn’t allow mom to see it.
And Asia was standing there with me. We were discussing the sit-
uation. When mom came I instantly switched the infidelity cake
for a birthday cake already in the cabinet. Then she started sniff-
ing around and acting suspicious. So I yelled at her and told her
off and that I wasn’t working with her anymore, because at that
point she was still supposedly handling some aspect or aspects of
my business, like a sponsor.
Then I went down into my room and was working on the phone
setting up online profiles. At one point I found PN’s profile
online and there were some risqué pictures and it got me all...
weirded out. My phone also began breaking at one point. Color
display disappeared. Every little dumb shit was happening at
once.
2215
At the same time I was listening to a System of a Down CD...

Hypnotize, and the second to last track was one I never heard
of before. And it started with “When I met you in my mouth”
and it was the exact same melody as I used in Cradle and All, so
I was like holy hell... Did I copy that unintentionally in some act
of cryptomnesia? It got me really upset, but then I was like it’s
not possible.
At the end I was choosing between the cause of “beauty boy” and
“growing to be a tomato tree”... I think I was setting up an online
profile and picking what cause I wanted to represent my business.
So I remember saying to myself I’ll combine them and be like
“Only you can help this beautiful boy become a tomato tree!” It
had to do with some online profile for Comprachicos and our
mission statement.
TABLE DRUMMING
Asia and I were out food shopping at the grocery store. I remem-
ber being in the cereal aisle for a while. Recall is terrible for this
one. Oh well.
Later on we came back to the house and I remember I was sitting

on the couch with a laptop. It was not in a familiar looking
house, though. And Asia was over and I could hear her talking in
the next room. I had this bowl of diced up avocado, lettuce and
onions and I was sitting there at some patio table with my moth-
er and father eating.
My parents got annoyed at my drumming on the table while eat-

ing, because I hadn’t had any coffee all day. So no coffee, no cig-
arettes and there was one other normal staple that was absent
and it was really bothering me. Kratom? And when asked to stop
drumming, I gave that excuse, and it caused a little bit of a tense
exchange between my parents and I, which ended in me refer-
ring to my father as old and bald, although I don’t know if it
was old that I said. However, my mom misheard “bald” as “bad”
and I had to correct that by saying “bald, not bad. Very different
things. Though maybe not to you.”And she came up with some
gross bald person to use as an example, and I was clarifying that
bald doesn’t mean bad and I gave some examples of bald people
who I liked and they laughed.
My father got up after I complained about my issues and left.

Then he came back to the table with a glass of ice coffee for me,
which I wish he just had normal black coffee. It still seemed black
but now it has been all cold and watered down. But I didn’t say
anything about it. So once he put it on the table, I made a joking
move... like I was going to switch the coffee for my food, like a
2217
swap, but no one found it funny, so I just kept eating, and I ex-
plained my annoying drumming. I’m like “I don’t have to do it.
It’s just fun, especially when I’m nervous. But I don’t have to.”
I was apparently quitting cigarettes. And there was also no coffee

made and something else was gone so I was so agitated. Right be-
fore I woke up I said “We don’t happen to have some of Ken’s
Asian Sesame and Ginger dressing, do we?” and I wasn’t getting
a response.
PEPPER BEACH
Earlier we were inside the church building before coming out. I
don’t know what I was doing at church, but I had been hanging
out in the main office by myself during service. And at one point
Asia and a few others came in and I had underwear under my
hat since my smaller hat was missing and I needed something
to prop up the floppier hat (I usually wear two hats at once). I
was just raiding the church fridge. They had chili peppers and
whatnot. I got to talking with one girl. I unfortunately forget
what we spoke about, but we had these long conversations with
a bit of humor in them. I remember watching these psychology
videos in her presence. I think this was before I really liked her
but was slowly warming up to her. So I wasn’t paying too much
attention to her and I was just doing my own thing. And we’re
just sitting there and I’ve got my phone out and I’m watching
some psychology lecture and I remember the guy bringing up Je-
sus as an example, so I thought this might earn me some good
points since it sounds like I’m listening to something Christian.
I asked her if she liked psychology and she answered with a sim-
ple yeah, but it seemed like she was just saying that. All the oth-
er girls had left and she hadn’t, and I didn’t really expect her
to stay any longer, but then somehow we ended up leaving to-
gether. We wandered around outside until coming upon a bench,
and I think that’s when I really started paying attention to her. I
feel like some sweet words were exchanged but I can’t remember
what they were specifically. And things seemed to escalate really
quickly over the course of a day.
I remember while we were on the bench I just moved in close

and we were about ready to depart and we just decided to start
touching each other and it was very intimate. And we were just
2219
feeling one other’s bodies slowly. I was self conscious of not leav-
ing my hands in any particular area of her body for too long, try-
ing to do it evenly. It just seemed like a very intimate and power-
ful moment. Sure wish I could remember more of the moments
leading up to it. The radio was playing over the speakers outside
a cafe and a new Deftones song played... not a real one, but they
actually announced it as a new single. And I was like this song is
good. Then I started kissing her ‘cause I wanted to associate this
memory with this song and be able to think back on it whenever
I hear it. At this point we were outside of some café on a bench.
I remember a lot of the time when I was with her I would be

like “Oh, do you like this?” regarding some observation or some-
thing. For example, when Deftones played over the speaker I
would ask her if she liked it, always getting her take and feeling
out her tastes and if we were compatible. Then we went walking
by this beach area and the girl who I was with was running off
slightly ahead of me across this stretch of land to get to the
beach, I guess out of excitement, and as she passed by this “cheer
pyramid” (a pyramid of standing girls) she disappeared entirely.
And the girls were being mean to me as I passed. Why were those
girls so bitchy toward me? I think they accused me of something,
or men in general, and when ‘my’ girl went by them they took
her into their cheer pyramid and she just kind of vanished and
I never saw her again. It was disappointing, but I went and sat
down by the pyramid, and they were all expecting me to be hurt
and angry because they took away the girl I fell in love with. They
were expecting a really angry reaction from me, but I sat down, I
took out peppers from my pocket from earlier in my dream that I
had taken from the church kitchen and I just started eating them.
And they were so damn spicy. I just start making polite conversa-
tion with them, and they’re so confused as to why I’m so polite.
I’m like “It’s okay, I’m already at the end of my dream anyway.
Besides, I have these peppers. Almost forgot about them, and in
most dreams I most certainly would have. So why not eat them
now.” They were weirded out. I just sat around for a few minutes
until they left.
In the final scene I was down by the ocean walking on the cliff
after jumping down when that guy was roaming his little tractor
around. I figured if he tried anything funny I could just go to the
water. I saw half-eaten pieces of steak lying in the sand. The sand
was too uneven to walk, very chunky, so I attempted to smooth it
out, but as I was doing so I thought “This dream is boring now.”
And then I thought back to everything that happened so far in
the dream and worried that if I continued this much longer I
would slowly forget the old stuff and didn’t want that, so I opted
to wake up. I was like “Ehhh, I should just get up.”
VOID GRIND
I was with Alex K, and I think he slept late, so I had to call him
to wake him up and remind him to come by. I feel like this took
place in a house that was supposed to be his, because there were
these expensive limited edition vinyls on the wall that I took to
be his brother’s.
I kept going upstairs then. I went to look for something in the

kitchen. Oh what was that joke I was making by the fridge, com-
paring myself to someone. We lacked cheese or one of the ingre-
dients. I think it was whipped cream because it came in a spray
can. So I asked to check the shopping bags in the room next
to the one where everyone was hanging out upstairs. Alex (???)
from the giant hole on the floor. Everyone was in one room.
Then at the party I was having a nic fit when walking around on
that level with people's son-in-law going to volunteer to go out
to the store so I could go smoke. But then Asia did. And then
other girls did. So I was gonna fight Asia on it but since others
girls were going I was like okay since you guys are going ok let her
go but I think they misinterpreted it at first and it sounded like
I didn’t want to go with them rather than me just being nice to
Asia, so I had to explain myself. I figured it made more sense for
Asia to go with them since they were all girls and I’m sure they
all would have a more enjoyable time than if they were with me
and I was not simply saying I didn’t want to go with them.
Then I went and wandered around in the yard. Outside. It be-

came very surreal and cosmic real quick. I entered into this cos-
mic dimension. I went and grinded these space rails into the
blackest voids of space for points but I lost all my points when I
was unable to come back down to earth and had to restart. Then
2222
I climbed this giant dragon statue located in a dark courtyard

which was partially indoors and partially out.
Ugh lots of hallucinations. A dumb looking dog with its tongue

hanging out, and a narrator’s voice says “If Bruno can sign up for
membership rewards then you can too!” And then a few minutes
later I heard someone yell “LAUNDRY DOT COM!”
THE PLAYLIST
My house was being run like a hotel, and George Clinton was
staying in one of the rooms with his wife. It was his birthday, and
at one point I volunteered to turn on a funky soundtrack to be
played over his room’s system while he was at it. But it was not
as easy as I thought it would be, because a lot of stuff in my funk
playlists were weirder than I expect he’d like.
I spent a while putting together a playlist. Among the many

songs that it included were “Star of the Story” by Heatwave,
“Catch a Keeper” by P-Funk Allstars, “System Addict” by Five
Star and “Turn Around” by Heatwave. I got hung up on what
to add and then went and sat outside on the porch, where I was
speaking to my mother. It felt like a big responsibility, because
here I am crafting a playlist that George Clinton is probably hav-
ing sex to in another room. After a few minutes, George comes
out on the porch and he was like “What’s up!” And I asked “Did
you like the playlist?” And he says “Yeah, keep it coming!” He
came out because I stopped adding new stuff, and he wanted
me to keep the music flowing, but I was still searching for more
songs to add. It was hilarious, and everything about his presence
was true to life. So I got back to scrolling through Spotify and
I remember I added “Gimme What I Don’t Know I Want” by
Justin Timberlake.
Then when I came inside and sat on the couch in what resembled
Nanny and Poppop’s New Jersey living room, I sat next to my
dad, while my mother was standing in the doorway to what used
to be their bedroom. And she was so high on something and re-
counting for my dad how George came out and got mad at me
and she was getting the story wrong, misreading his tone, and
2224
then I kept trying to alert her to the fact that he (George) was
standing right by the doorway and I’m pointing, but she doesn’t
get the hint. Then once she realizes he’s standing there she sud-
denly changes what she’s saying to the most batshit surrealist sto-
ry ever, which makes it sound like she’s actually recalling a dream
and not speaking about him:
“And so THEN my husband’s forehead turns red and out of it

comes all of these audits, which was because he was something
something...”
I forget what she said but it was bizarre. And some guy came out
of the kitchen, having overheard what she was saying. And she
referenced something, asking “Did your head ever turn red in
high school?“ And he responds “No, but I faintly remember you
guys talking about this stuff back then in our school days,” and
obviously she was lying and fabricating all of it so it’s funny that
he thought otherwise.
Before all of this there was another dream that took place, and
I’m so disappointed that I never wrote it down, since I can’t re-
member it all that much right now. I had returned to that world
at the end and there were those girls. And like five or six of us
friends had once gone off on this adventure, but we came back
and it was all solemn now. That we had returned to our place of
meeting.
CUT THE CURTAIN
I was walking along a dirt path. It was a pretty nice area. There
were trees around and it wasn’t far from a more populated area
with stores and recreation. Some girls passed by, and one girl had
a little plastic bag, having just purchased a game that I played a
lot during my childhood, and when I noticed this I used it as an
opening, and I began talking to her and her friend. Apparently I
was with another guy at the time. Maybe Patrick? I invited them
to come hang out with us.
I remember when we were talking and considering hanging out

they wanted to see my Facebook first, and although they were
being tactful and inconspicuous about it, it seemed like they
wanted to do so in order to make sure that I wasn’t some creepy
guy with an insufficient quantity of friends. I only had twenty
friends on my account but assured them that I also had a music
account with hundreds of fans and just preferred to keep a tight
knit social profile for my most intimate group. But yeah it was
two different girls with me.
I feel like I remember climbing a tree at one point in their pres-

ence, but I forget what we did. I think we walked back to one of
our houses.
There was some part where I was in this concert club and kissed
my pants in the middle of the crowd and it was a big spectacle
like I did it on purpose, and the security was called because it
was viewed not as an accident by like a terroristic act. And so
I immediately took off and on the way out of the building my
I passed the security guard as he was coming in and he made a
comment and I was able to make a really believable comment in
return which made me seem innocent. I also didn’t look wet, so
2226
I got away scot free. I don’t think I recalled the incident until af-
ter the fact, like there wasn’t a point that I was pissing at a con-
cert until later on when I was reflecting back on some event that
I couldn’t allow the girls to know about.
I definitely got close to one of those girls, but the details elude
me, with no thanks to my stupid phone which crashed immedi-
ately upon waking and I had to wait ten minutes to get into it
and write all of this out.
In the final scene I was out in my Pine Hill deck with a group of
people. It seemed like some party celebration was taking place.
There was a random drawer filled with golden N64 games. I re-
member looking at it at end and wondering if anyone was with
the gall to steal from me. The main part I remember from this
part is that I was standing at the door, while the door was closed,
and I was looking in to the window, into the kitchen, where
this was this giant bug or something. And I mean unrealistical-
ly giant. I don’t know if I was killing it through the door, or
if I was feeding it, but I was certainly interacting with it and
it seemed somehow disgusting. It didn’t seem entirely realistic.
Like there was maybe something controlling me. At one point
I began shredding the curtains (on the other side of the door)
down the center, although I’m not sure how I achieved that since
they were on the other side of the glass, and as I was shredding
the curtain I was randomly singing “I Ran” by Flock of Seagulls
and I’m pretty sure all of the people with me were freaked out by
what was going on. Not only was the insect scary to them, but
they couldn’t understand how I was communicating with it or
how I was able to transcend the door to interact with these ob-
jects mentally or some such.
The dream ended as I saw Patrick was leaving my Pine Hill house
at the end of a party, as everyone else had just left, and I ran down
to say goodbye and I say “Maybe we can see each other next week
and also we might be seeing each other tomorrow if our family’s
get together as planned!” He seemed reluctant as if it was all too
much so I felt the need to apologize and say that because I’m in
such a bad spot I’m more reliant on socialization than usual but
I didn’t end up saying that because that seemed like it would just
add more pressure and the dream ended.
PANCAKE POWER
I was riding around in a car with Kyle P. and we pulled up next
to this guy at one point, this black dude in his early twenties
who seemed all hardcore. Our windows were down and Kyle was
talking over me, asking his friend if he would do different things
around the public to help the city and the environment and the
people and the guy was into it, so I was like wait, and I reached
around in the pockets of Kyle’s messenger bag and pulled out a
Comprachicos patch and then handed it to the guy, saying “I’ll
send you the web address later.” Then I gave him an explana-
tion of what it’s all about. Then the guy thanked me and drove
off, and I said “Ugh, I botched that explanation, made it sound
lame,” but Kyle said it was totally fine. Also, I didn’t actually have
my patches with me, so I essentially gave the guy Kyle’s patch,
but I did so knowing that I could get Kyle another one whereas
I might not get another chance to give one to this guy any time
soon.
Later on I was sitting on a forum and I remember checking

some post I had made and some people in the post were talking
about Comprachicos, saying “Just so everyone knows, this Com-
prachicos thing that has recently cropped up is a clear code word
for such and such group, which is always cropping up again and
again under different names which begin with two c’s.” Mean-
while I’m sitting there reading it like what the fuck that’s not
true, and I was gonna look up the group he was talking about
since it sounded unfamiliar like some dumb online clan, but I
never did, because Uncle Jamie was coming over and I was get-
ting off the computer.
2229
So my uncle came and visited us in Pine Hill, and while my

mother was preparing something in the other room, he started
making all of these statements about how I don’t work hard
enough at home and I should really be more of a help. So then I
started on this speech about how I love work and I’d do so much
more if only I could but my throat prohibits it. He didn’t under-
stand how that one issue could affect so many things. Then I sat
there for about a half hour talking to him about the history of
my throat and all the problems it caused, which affected every
part of my body, from head to toe, and he was shocked. And it
was a very vivid description that I won’t recount here just because
it was very accurate. He became very surprised and emotional at
hearing what had happened to me. But I stopped shy of explain-
ing what it had done to my music career. Then when he went to
bed for the night. I went to my room and cried about my inabil-
ity to sing while remembering my music career, thinking about
how long it had been since I recorded my music and how I nev-
er imagined life without it. I was shocked to think that I would
lose my voice only a year and a half after the problem started up.
I was sobbing so hard and my throat and nose swelled up from
the tears, so I had to stop.
I saw the difference it had made to he upfront with Uncle Jamie

about my suffering and I wondered if I could achieve the same
understanding with Asia, and I was also under the impression
that she suffered from similar issues and I wanted to offer her
tips, like how to fix her headaches and whatnot.
Then I left my house in the middle of the night and went to stay
with Asia who for some reason was staying on her own in this
weird little apartment or hotel building. I just showed up and
we started talking about things. I told her I was about to die.
And we were able to jus have theee touching conversations for
a while not unlike what I had with Jamie although it wasn’t the
same info. We were just having sincere conversations, although
when I tried to offer advice on how to combat her problems
she seemed to say that she didn’t struggle with those problems,
which seemed surprising to me.
But then eventually my mother showed up and just sort of

barged in to do laundry. When she first showed up I was hiding
in a pile of clothes on the couch, but something that happened
cause me to move to the nearby closet when she wasn’t looking
since she had turned around to walk to the bag and get more
clothes. But then she walked over to the closet and saw me there,
so then she was scolding me and us, and a little later she made
those weird comments about how I am a failure because I don’t
desire power. I got the sense that she was talking about sexual
things, so I said don’t want that ‘sex power’.
Then a few minutes after that some robot entered and was mak-
ing pancakes on the stove, pouring batter and I exclaimed “pan-
cake power! Now that’s what I’m talking about. So much better
than sex power.” Not sure what it was or why it was making pan-
cakes. It was like a tiny Wall-E robot. But then I was like “wait is
my mom making pancakes too” because she was cooking some-
thing in a pan beside the robot which looked battery, and Asia
was like “No, I’m sure she’ll add meat in it.” And I told Asia to
tell her to take the meat in the fridge, and she said “I’ll do it when
she opens the fridge.” So she was figuring out a way to ask, since I
think she was embarrassed by the fact that she still had these left-
overs hanging around which mother had presumably given her
to begin with.
My mother just kept staring at Asia and I baffled, since it was un-
usual to see us sitting together, joking around and talking. We
were upset with her and wanted her to get out, so it was a weird
scene. At the very end my mom said something and Asia said in
Response “You’re cheating young me.”
Then I quipped “It’s like that Franz Ferdinand song.”
Then we both started singing, “You’re cheating young me, yeah.

You’re cheating young me.”
And for whatever reason, I had been typing these words on my

phone’s note program while speaking (I guess an automatic re-
sponse due to all the years of communicating solely via text to
speech programs) and when we stopped, the text played out
in audio, but the autocorrect on my phone had changed it to
“You’ve cheating young me.” Meanwhile my mom is just stand-
ing across the room dumbfounded at what is going on.
OLYMPIC JUMP
These two girls had come over into my house to set something
for them the night before these public games were set to take
place. And I ran into them a couple times along the way. I was
way past my bedtime. And I was intending to go to bed. But
when I saw myself in the mirror I was like damn I look good
tonight and obviously those girls are finding me attractive so I
might as well just float around a little more. So I returned to
where they were setting up and I helped them, and we just made
chit chat for a little bit before going out. I didn’t find them par-
ticularly attractive though. I just liked knowing that that’s how
they viewed me... as some exotic guy.
I remember we ordered some delicious food while in some store

(or a restaurant within a mall) and they noted how good it was.
Then I said it’s around midnight, and they thought I was making
the correlation that the food was good because it was midnight,
but that wasn’t what I meant to imply. And then one of them...
the one on the left, refuted that it was midnight “No way.” And
I’m like “yes, it was around 11:30 PM when we LEFT, so of
course it’s gotta be midnight now.” I forget what the food was.
Some pastry? It was good though. And I think it was implied
that after this we all went home for the night and came back out
the next day but I don’t really remember there being a break.
Oooh, I remember what I spoke about with them earlier after I

just met them. They had asked what room was beneath my room,
within the house, and I got all excited and said “The basement,”
and then I went on this long excited talk explaining how the
house comes together and how there is this panel in the ceiling in
the basement of my previous house to allow me to crawl up into
2233
the ceiling and into my room, and then I compared it to my new-

er house and explains how it all comes together. I remember ac-
cidentally saying my bedroom was previously in the basement in
the old house and I’m like “Oh no, sorry. It was on the first floor.
It’s in the basement presently.” They seemed intrigued by my sto-
ry, and I remember that my hair looked really cool. One of them
commented about my hair being stylish, and I said “What style
is that?” and laughed. They made it sound like other people were
wearing their hair like this, so I was like “A 70’s style... I guess!” It
was parted in the middle and sort of feathered. Had wings. Very
different for me but somehow I pulled it off.
Earlier in the dream. Before I was getting ready to go to bed. And

before those girls showed up, I was in what looked like my Pine
Hill living room. Vaguely sort of... also like a Rec room... and
Scarlet comes walking up to me and I know she ain’t there but
I’m reaching out to her anyway... she’s like a ghost... and I’m try-
ing to pet her and it was a very sad moment and I knew my par-
ents were watching me confused ‘cause they couldn’t see her. Not
sure why it was happening. Maybe it was because I was tired.
I remember being slightly disoriented when walking around

with those girls in public late at night, and I think we might have
even ended up in some troubled situations, like having to escape
from something.
Then the next day we were set to compete in these public games
which required us to launch off of this platform, but we had to
give answers to these philosophical questions first, and it seems
our answer impacted the way we fell or something about the
process. And my answer to the question threw everyone for a
loop because it didn’t seem so cut and dried and was very philo-
sophical so everyone had to debate it. And that skinny weird guy
volunteered to leap down first and move the target so that I was
less likely to get hurt
Then the girl calls out and says “Kori, we can use your lizard!”
and I burst out laughing “What???” And the other girls around
look back up at me as I am on this platform waiting to jump. I
was also caught off-guard due to the fact that they called me by
that name since only my family calls me that.
This is right after that other guy jumped off. And I was like
“Whoa, he went down like a pool ball into a pocket,” and the
other guy was like “Yeah, he’s been launched like ping-pong pre-
viously, and now pool.” I was waiting for them to drag the tram-
poline or whatever flower. I had done this the night before when
I went out with these girls. At that time I was very tired and com-
ing out at the end of my day with these girls who I had met in
this kitchen setting. That’s when my father showed up with pa-
pers regarding this name change of my company to something
stupid like “Mind my eccentricities” or my “mind my atrocities”
and I just sighed. And then my father came back when I was sit-
ting by the paper towels and he wouldn’t go away.
I jumped the previous night, but the challenge was slightly dif-
ferent then. The question was basically asking ‘be selfish versus
be selfless’. And I’m like “But what about this?” and I came up
with some example about how 30% of the time I’m just trying to
keep people happy or something, and I made a comment about
a lizard which is what that girl was later referencing, so I compli-
cated the matter. There was an attractive girl on the ground with
heavy eye makeup, freckles and a punkish attitude and she was
eyeing me intently.
POOL TOYS
Me and W were messaging on the phone. He was at a nearby
school or something attending a play I think and it wouldn’t let
out until 9 or 10, after which he was planning on coming over.
I remember walking around on the side of the road to kill time

until W was out. Which may be how I met up with J. Because
he saw me walking around. He picked me up in his car. I im-
mediately took his aux cable and started playing my music. Got
pissed because the charge cable was shorting out despite being a
new cord. I told him that Walking on the Moon, Just a Neck and
other songs from that period were uploaded to the internet. We
went back to his house and it was weird being there.
We were upstairs in his bedroom for much of the time just lis-
tening to my music on his computer. I was afraid he would read
some of the negative things I said about him in my writings. At
one point his mother returned home and so we were like oh no...
though we couldn’t do anything about it. She saw me, and at first
it was awkward, but then she began asking me questions about
my business. I lied about where I worked but still offered sound
advice anyways. Then she and Ikept offering me pool toys, while
still talking business. So eventually there were so many I had to
start deflating them just so they would fit in the car.
I got dropped back off at my house. W had just gotten out of the
play by the time I returned back home. So I messaged him and
asked him to come over.
2236
THE SQUIRREL SKELETONS
Earlier in the dream I was in my Londonberry room, which is
weird because the gas bag part was in my Pine Hill room. But
I was sitting on my Londonberry bed with Asia and I was talk-
ing about the Hardy Boys books on my shelf and how I hadn’t
read them all, but most of them, and I started to reminisce about
them (which is funny because that’s like all that my parents al-
lowed me to read when I was like 12, 13, so I had like a dozen on
my shelf... those old blue books).
Then there was that scene where I was with my family and trying
to get my dad to fill something up. I had bought a ‘gas bag’ for
thirty dollars, which was really just a bag of some kind of air but
it functioned like gasoline. And it was supposed to help us in a
pinch and I was so happy I had it, because it could help us in our
situation. But while waiting for my dad to come into the room
and help I opened it while getting it ready, and all the gas dis-
persed, and I’m like “What the hell, Tendon... I can’t believe I
just did that.” And I felt so horrible. I went out into the Pine Hill
deck and sulked. Asia was there with me and actually tried to
cheer me up.
There was that part where this girl and I were on the couch,
tucked into this blanket, quite comfortably, and I was so tired
and running my mouth and I said something that seemed bor-
derline romantic and she seemed uncomfortable, and I was like
do you not like it when I do that? And she said no. And it was so
weird because I thought she did. So I felt bad.
This was before we all went out to this big church-like hall where
hundreds of people had gathered to be extras in an upcoming
Hollywood movie. And we were all just happy to be in the back-
2237
ground, but a couple of us, like me and the young man I was
with, got called over to play minor roles. I remember that Asia
was sitting like three or four pews behind us and I thought she
might be jealous. I was sandwiched between Steve Carrell and
some woman who looked sort of like the woman who voices the
Bob’s Burgers character. They were supposed to be my parents
during the script read. My character was like... Geeky Son #1.
She was rubbing my back the ENTIRE TIME, and it was quite
strange that she just kept doing it but at the same time I felt hon-
ored or something. But I couldn’t understand because she kept
doing it even when the camera wasn’t rolling. So I figured she
was trying to get into character.
So, we would play with their two nerdy sons, and I was thinking
wow. And we were all going to do a script read. I couldn’t believe
I would be in a film. It was weird with her constantly rubbing my
back, but I liked it in a way. It wasn’t until intermission that I got
up and she did as well. I walked into the lobby and she followed
me.
I had an issue with one of my parts. I had to get up and do a

polka dance. It didn’t sound right with my character despite it
being nerdy and I asked if we could change it. The Steve guy said
it was selected haphazardly last night so yeah we could change it
if someone has a better idea. I wanted to have input as to what
it got changed to but he got up with the script/notepad and
walked out into the lobby, so the whole cast and crew went on
break for a few minutes while they figured out the part.
There was that time I was being silly with the actor with whom I
was acting, the other geeky guy, and I put my hands in his pant
pockets for a gag and he had a rip in the lining of his pockets so
my hand went in too far and I grazed his crotch so I was like oh
hell no. So I just pulled my hand out and we all just tried to act
like nothing happened.
Then I went out into the lobby. I think I was going to see what
was going on and try to get my input heard, but the woman fol-
lowed me. I think something happened in the lobby that upset
me. So I was like fuck that. And the woman called me to follow
her into the parking lot, suggesting that we could go make out.
She threw on a leather jacket and was persistent, so I was like
okay. She asked me about squirrels and warned me of a squirrel
skeleton in her car. I knew she had like a couple. I didn’t expect
hundreds. So when I saw into her car I was like uh oh. So this
was freaky. I had to shove them all into the back seat as she invit-
ed me in.
The car was FILLED with squirrel skeletons. Hundreds of them.

I tried not to show my fright or cause a scene. So I cleared the
passenger seat of skeletons and got into the car thinking maybe
we would kiss. But then she started controlling the seats and the
other walls in a way which made the car feel very claustrophobic
and when I asked her to stop she kept going and I realized I was
in trouble. I couldn’t open the door, it was locked. So I opened
up the window and started calling for help. And who heard my
cry, but Kel Mitchell from Kenan and Kel, who happened to be
passing through the parking lot at the time of my predicament.
I yelled for help three times, and he heard all three cries, but he
was just standing there smiling for the first two before realizing
that I was serious. Then he started using some method that ap-
parently I taught him earlier? And it involved wrapping some
bottle or cylinder with duct tape. I don’t know. Meanwhile the
girl with me was tying ME down to the seat with tape, and I
knew I was about to die. Kel eventually saved me and got me
out, and someone who was standing around watching everything
take place made a comment like “You’re done for, Muslim.” But
it was a specific kind of Muslim, and a guy nearby was like “What
does this have to do with Muslims?” But he was one too, and we
realized he was also guilty. Guilty of what? I have no idea.
THE GENERATOR
The earliest scene that I can recall is eating food out on the Pine
Hill deck. I was by myself, but a party of some sort was going
on inside the house. It felt like some sort of summer barbecue
event, and I was just eating on the deck and doing something
with my phone or some tech. At one point I remember going
down out of the gate and into the driveway. There was something
preventing me from coming inside. It wasn’t outlawed but I felt
like a kid who was asked to not be obnoxious while the grown
ups were talking. Eventually when I went back in I guess that’s
when I went to attend the theater thing to go pick up my wife,
which was Anita. I believe she was my wife in the context of this
dream. That or my girlfriend.
I was with Anita. We were in this show, a sort of opera house. We

were in the audience, the seats, but she was having to stay up un-
til a certain point because she was providing sound effects to the
performance from the sears so it was like this weird theater and
she had this microphone with crazy reverb on it and it was so
crazy to watch her doing all these growls and weird sounds next
to me. I remember when Anita and I were in that theater hall
and she had the microphone and was doing her parts. I remem-
ber staring at the guy across from us. There was like an aisle sep-
arating the two sides of the theater. So he was across the room.
But I was just looking at him. He wasn’t doing anything weird. I
was just staring at him while he looked over in our direction. But
then after her last part was done she was like “Okay, let’s get out
of here.” So she and I got up from our seats and left.
After Anita and I left that place we wandered through this lobby
where I got my backpack or something and we were both pack-
2241
ing things up. I was at these shelves rearranging things and this
snobby lady that worked at the counter across the room came
over to me and was like “Excuse me, what are you doing?” And I
was like “These are my shelves. I’m just maintaining them.” Like
I had rented this public space to keep my stuff, sort of like a pub-
lic safe or storage. So she gave a snooty answer to cover up for the
fact that she was in the wrong by questioning me, and it was just
both annoying and funny. Then Anita and I continued to pack
things up because we were going on a trip. She was so so cute
and we were so in love. And she was so cozy in this black sweat-
shirt that she was wearing, a little oversized compared to what
she usually wears. It was so pleasant to hold her. After we got into
a more private area after leaving the theater we began to cuddle
and kiss and touch one another. All very innocent, but it was so
cute. And I just remember that she was wearing these very soft
and cozy clothes. And I felt so lucky to be loved by her. I believe
that there was a scene before the theater, as well, when we first
met up, and that scene had been more cuddly and intimate, but
it eludes me.
I remember when Anita and I left the show and packed our stuff
we went into a store and looked around and I was looking at
these weird Pokémon toys at the end of an aisle. This would have
been right before I wandered into that other section and found
Nanny speaking with Aunt Jean and others. The store part. I was
wandering around these aisles. Looking at things. It looked like
dumb stuff from a kitchen store. Like Lowes. And Anita was
there and wanted to show me something. We were wandering
around. Then I wandered off. And then I ran into Jamie and one
other guy. I did some crazy jump in front of them and it was
poorly executed but the idea was to mimic a skateboard move so
it was hilarious and we agreed that it was a funny idea regardless
of the poor execution. But uncle Jamie didn’t seem too happy to
see me. He just had that kind of attitude he had last time I saw
him as if he doesn’t understand why I don’t speak to him. Even
though I was still being nice. Then I contemplated where to go. If
I should go back down to the kitchen/Pine Hill deck area where
there were other people. Or stay up here. Or what. And consid-
ered going back down to the entry of the building where the fif-
teen year old psychology student girl was at. My mother wanted
me to come down and give up the cell phone to Asia and M, who
wanted to borrow it and said that there were several other people
who wanted to see me. And something with Tyler.
Somehow I ended up walking upstairs into an attic. The setting

of this dream was so weird and varied. This multi story building.
The top attic looked like Matt M’s place. The other room in the
top looked sort of like my own bedroom in the dark. Where
those other people were going. But it was dusty and dark and I
was going to go in and grab some stuff but decided against it
I kept worrying that someone else followed me up into the attic

and so I had to think of plans on what to do if that was so and if
someone malevolent was nearby.
There is this power generator sort of thing. I had done something

weird with a hose that I think almost blew something up ‘cause I
connected it to the machine in a weird way. Then there was this
flap up in a dark corner of the attic where Isaac used to yell “Save
Marshall’s dad!” as a joke and I was cracking up at the memory
while trying to figure out what I was doing. It makes no sense,
though, and does not relate to anything that ever happened in
reality.
I think I almost blew up the building but I somehow managed

to pull out the hose. The pressure was building so fast and it was
spraying everywhere. I couldn’t reach the valve due to the pres-
sure so I had to pull out the hose and then do it and it worked,
because I couldn’t get my hand near the switch otherwise.
After the hose part I wandered l into a nearby room and removed
my pants which I think had gotten wet or something else when
trying to fix the machine and the hose, and the room was like a
dark room resembling my bedroom, but others were coming up
the nearby stairs and wandering into it at the same time so I was
like oops. And I came out trying not to scare them and left them
to it. I don’t think they even realized I had no pants. A couple. I
knew them from before, apparently, possibly from the barbecue.
As I came out of that room and put my pants back on thinking

I had to go downstairs, Anita and some guy showed up for me.
And at first I was like wait, who is this guy she was with and I
was worried at first thinking oh no does not she not love me any-
more but then when she found me we held each other and were
all cute I immediately realized it wasn’t a problem. I hugged her
and told her how much I loved her and she did that to me, and
then the guy asked where to go next. The two of them were act-
ing like they’re in some television show like spies or something.
And then I joined their party and I guess it was supposed to be
the three of us all along. Actually I think that’s why I went up
in the attic to take care of my part. So the three of us were con-
ducting some weird sort of mission and I had to fix the hose be-
fore they could do something else. And I think that’s why their
clothes were all charred looking. Me and Anita were acting like
we hadn’t seen one another in a while. And it was so cute, The
way we were just cuddling with one another.
At the end we went down to the lower levels, into some store-
house where the lights were brighter. Shelves of food. I was starv-
ing. I grabbed an open, half-eaten vegan bar from among the
pantry shelves just as Anita and I were going on a walk through

this building trying to get out. When I grabbed the vegan bar. It
was open; the wrapper, half eaten, so I went and held it up so as
to gauge what the others thought. There was a pause but then the
guy goes “At this point you can just say it was a reference point”
referring to how it was open and therefore no harm in taking and
eating it. Then I took a bite.. so good.. some health bad but it was
like payday. And then I woke up.
THIS DREAM IS FOR YOU
Early on in the dream I was sitting in my bedroom writing and
I turned on the Velvet Underground’s self-titled album which I
hadn’t listened to since like 2007 so I was wondering if I still
liked it, and I remember seeing that the final song was called
“Sometimes” and when I played it it was the same as Midnight
Oil song of the same name so I was like what the hell, that was
a cover? And then I paid attention to this singer’s voice in the
song and though it sounded identical the voice I used for Bauta,
which was sort of an attempt at my own version of the Midnight
Oil sound, especially in the early punkier songs that I did, and I
wasn’t sure about how I felt about that.
I don’t remember a lot of the dream, but I remember running

up to Anita; telling her that I was lucid, and saying “This dream
is for you.” And I began to kiss her. But her expression seemed
bothered or upset, so I pulled back and asked her what’s wrong.
I don’t remember what her response was.
At the end I was on the lawn outside of that building when all of
these giant monsters took over, and I was supposed to be leaving.
Giant creatures in the distance in front of me and behind me in
the building as well. Where they took over like thirty floors of
the building that I was in. It looked like some sort of government
building, what with its architecture.
2246
BATHROOM BARRICADE
The first part of the dream was me all excited since my family
was going to be going to Disney world but then after a while of
thinking out the specifics I realized it was a danger to me and
that I wasn’t going to be able to go after all. And I was very disap-
pointed. And I was hoping they would leave me some money to
buy some pizzas or something while they were gone. It was very
disappointing.
I drank a beer that I had left over from the fridge and then I just
sort of sat around but when I came back for another beer I re-
alized I had had the last one and the only things left were some
sort of weird communion “soda” which I took from my father’s
workplace fridge. Then while standing in the fridge I hear wor-
ship singing from the back deck. And I’m like shit fuck what is
this. And I realize my father is hosting this week’s home group
without having told me in advance and I was so goddamn up-
set and Christians were everywhere. So I went upstairs and told
my mother and she knew and I was talking to Asia. I came back
downstairs and barricaded myself in the bathroom. Eventually
some little boy needed to use the bathroom. Twisting the handle.
I kept twisting it back to keep it closed. It became like a game to
me... trying to psyche him out and confuse him. After minutes of
him struggling he went and got some random woman who came
over with a lock pick. And as she was lock picking. I still twist-
ed the handle as long as I could, but once it started to come un-
locked I said something, And she was like oh geez, That’s defi-
nitely a man in there. So after a little bit I opened the door and
said let me just clean up a little in here then I’ll let you in. At first
I intended to just stay in there the whole night so that everyone
would shit themselves.
2247
Later I was outside near my fathers truck just to get away from
it all, Although the house and dire way did not resemble ours at
all from the outside. The event ends, And this guy comes walk-
ing who I saw before during the bathroom fiasco. College age
guy. He was muttering to himself as be walked by. About how he
didn’t want to have to go back to work tomorrow. I comment-
ed in the dark and he freaked out ‘cause he didn’t see me. And
then came back and looked in the pick up bed and saw me sit-
ting there. He recognized my voice from the party. So I got out
and I walked with him. I was being super cool and casual. And
speaking was very weird to me so my speech pattern was a little
different just because I was so weirded out by and also afraid of
speaking due to my throat condition. We walked and then I re-
member when he asked me about myself, just as we were coming
over the hill in the road. He said that I just need a girl or some-
thing. I told him I’m asexual. He had a “Whooaaa really?” face
as if that was a big deal. And I’m like “Yeah, no desire for sex.
Still romantic, though. And romanticism without the sexual in-
clination is like my brain is all Disney, all the time.” He laughed
aloud at that one. Then he seemed to try keep telling me that I
just need a girl. I made a face, wanting to tell him about Anita,
but at the same time not having the patience to get into it.
This is when we sat by the couch that was outside my neighbors

property and talked about jobs. I told him I’ve always been an
entrepreneur. Started out when I learned HTML at 7 and was
coding websites at 8. I asked him if he had appeared in some
radio show , a local show which featured callers with certain
types of stories. He was like “Oh no, that was Wendell” And
then talked about how he didn’t like the hosts because of some
weird detail about how they couldn’t admit to the public that
they went to a sports game to see a specific player play but still
don’t vocalize their support or affiliation. None of this has any

correlation to something existing in reality.
TOURNAMENT
There was this tournament going on within this store. You had
to fight and or hide and there were like twenty of us in total. I
got knocked down to only twelve health points early on because
someone lobbed something at me so I had to go off and take ad-
vantage of the fact that we were allowed to hide, so I hid under-
neath an aisle, curled up and covered myself in something. Some-
one got me and I came in fourth, unfortunately, barely kissing
a prize, but oh well. I wish I had climbed up into the shelves, I
thought at the end, and laid down on top.
2250
DESK
That end with this singer eating those apples and spitting them
all onto a plate to make a sculpture for one of the other guys in
his band. I guess this is how they met and it was so strangely
funny. And the drummer is clearly grossed out like keep that in
your mouth man what are you doing. But then he was just mouth
agape the whole time half hilarious half what the hell. And then
the guy next to the singer was I guess supposed to be the gui-
tarist. Who was trying to be more kind and receptive. But there
was still a weird element of what is this guy doing. And the singer
was all hyper and giddy.
I kept rewinding it and watching because it was so funny and also

mirrored how I was feeling. I was super hyper. And right before
watching all of this I was reading down this crazy hyperactive list
of all these things I was saying. Like I was going insane. And this
was after I came up from the garage where I was singing those
improvised funk songs with Asia while all those other black guys
took a break. We did two songs and they were absolutely crazy
sounding. I was down there trying to distract myself from my
increasing throat problems but when I was done I had made
the throat problems worse. So by the end of the dream when I
left this garage area and went back upstairs to my room which
was now my Londonberry room, my throat was swollen and my
tongue was so huge it wouldn’t fit into my mouth and I was
like holy shit this isn’t good. I wanted to take ibuprofen for the
swelling but I was too bad off to risk it, so the only thing I could
do was wait it out until it got to a point where I could take
ibuprofen. It was so scary and this is why I went to watch the
video of that singer.
2251
And before this was the Christmas scene where my father and
Asia were in the kitchen cooking up some peanut butter thing
which I had gotten into previously maybe the previous day and
eaten part of while trying to convince my mom to let us have
some of it and that dad didn’t need four. I was like opening his
stocking stuffers. Which were on the line hill couch. While my
mother was cleaning and preparing for the holidays. And shoved
a bunch of decorations in my room and I was afraid they hadn’t
been washed and were going to give me an allergic reaction but I
don’t think I said anything.
Before this I was sitting in the workroom in Pine Hill with Asia.
I had walked in all casually while she was on the far end of my
parents computer and I just sat down at my childhood desk.
And she looked at me and laughed because I hadn’t sat there in
decades and I started getting super sentimental. I sat there for a
little while looking through old school books. But then I turned
around to the shelf and started looking for things I remember.
Like that little black square box filled with dominoes. Or a little
maroon box filled with those weird soft colored animal figures
of the weird texture. And I was like “Yea! Found them.”And the
two of us were just having fun looking through everything. And
then I got up and I was like oooh where is it? And I went over to
our computer next to me. I looked on the shelf through Pc games
looking for storybook weaver but I found a section of weird pc
games that I didn’t recognize like one which said autism and I’m
like wtf is all this. Then she started showing me other stuff from
a similar series where it probably came from. Anyway I was just
sitting there so emotional at my childhood desk which is where
I sat when I did at my homeschooling and I kept feeling like I
should give Asia a hug but then I felt like that was out of the or-
dinary for me and like I needed an excuse and like it wasn’t just
something I could do but I was so sentimental and totally felt

like it.
ODD JOBS
W and I were roaming various locations in some post-apoca-
lyptic type landscape, discussing psychological complexes and
working through them. We were doing odd jobs for people in
exchange for items and whatnot. At the end we were sitting in
this nice house, waiting for the lady of the house to return. At
the end the lady came back with this ridiculously long answering
machine with a tape deck and it was old and army green though
supposedly from age, as in not naturally that color. And my part-
ner just looked at each other because this isn’t what we had in
mind. She also gave us some water + filter but we were homeless
and couldn’t take the whole thing, so we just took the filter kit
of the water and kept that with us. We debated about selling it
but then decided to keep it. We were getting kicked out of this
woman’s house. We were just a chaotic and demanding presence.
2254
STAND TRIAL
I was in the kitchen working on a fruity mixed drink or slushy
thing, which took me a while. It was not a kitchen that was fa-
miliar to me nor was the house. Then I got summoned part way
through by some woman upstairs needing help since there were
several people over. It might have been a hotel and she needed a
hand with something. She was talking about “guess who is going
to be flying with me during x” and I was like “who?” and she list-
ed some guy named Russel and I’m like “Oh, we’re good friends,
that's amazing.”
Then I got back to my drink and it was all slushy ish but very
good and I drank all of it but the tiniest drop and then let my
mother drink that drop
At the end I was sitting on the deck preparing to go to a trial be-

cause some thief had walked by our street and stolen something
from us. I don’t remember what the main thing was but I remem-
ber my mom also saying he took a PlayStation as well. The thing
she gave me to read was too long and convoluted. She also gave
me a huge package of kratom which she just ordered. The ship-
ping name was weird like BIG PAPPIE. Because she had ordered
it while Poppop was here and took advantage of that fact some-
how, like his money.
I remember seeing the guy who was going to be against me in tri-

al and he was bald with a big bushy beard but totally not believ-
able and he had another trial immediately before ours so I wasn’t
nervous as his track record was crappy while mine was totally
good. So I was somehow dreaming of an ongoing trial. My moth-
er kept trying to get me to go read the updated list because she
2255
just made some changes just as I was printing it out and I might
have missed them.
DO THE HOODLE-HOO
Okay, in the early parts of the dream it was very activistic. I was
eagerly trying to save the world or some aspect of it. And this
may be why I left my house and went with Jeiezza. We were on
some mission to prevent something. I think we were heading to
some sort of broadcast or news station to do something.
Before all of the Jeiezza parts I remember that I was in my Lon-

donberry house and there were conversations with my mother
and Asia. Something I was doing in my room. Then I went
downstairs to get some cigarettes and went out in the front yard
and smoked a cigarette in the early morning and the grass was all
dewy.
Then I think this is around when Jeiezza and I just decided to

go. At one point we stopped at this school-like place with these
Japanese college kids. Four of them. Who were running some
campaigns.
She and I were driving on the highway at night. And I remember

we were in the wrong position. Like I was on the left and she was
on the right. But she was driving. And I was like wait shouldn’t
you be the one over here, ‘cause she was having to lean over me.
So we switched. And there were things on the road. Comput-
er monitors and things that we kept running through. And it
freaked her out. Scared her. I told her to keep going. Then this
little car from behind us got all agitated and tried to pass us and
plowed right through the monitors and I think it damaged itself.
Then we came up upon some cops and I made sure my seatbelt
was on. I remember noticing my clothes at that moment when I
checked my seatbelt. These corduroy pants, beige, and my shirt
was tucked in.
2257
I was so attracted to her in this dream. There was definitely some

intimacy. Some kissing. We kissed at one point. I remember it
feeling somehow awkward.
We passed through this little junction. And then I think we went

into a store like Target to get something. And I believe this is
where we met my old friend. Who invited us to come back to
his place for dinner. Because we were there looking for food and
things for the road, and he was like “Just come back with me, I’ll
get you food.” But he couldn’t stop being weird. And I was get-
ting angry that he was hitting on Jeiezza especially when I was
right there. The guy was definitely encroaching on Mora’s space.
He definitely found her attractive and I had to be like “Ahem...”
a couple times.
He had this sonic ability and he was sending all of these wind
charges my way. For a split second he seemed really happy and
taken off guard when I enthusiastically said that it was awesome.
But then he returned to being extremely agitated. And tried to
destroy me. And I was just trying to get my luggage and go. Jeiez-
za was in the parking lot or driveway in the car waiting for me.
We had just eaten dinner here. They were these big pancakes or
crepes and I ate like six or seven.
I was so disappointed in this friend of mine because we all were

supposed to hang out again but he just couldn’t control himself.
He had so much rage and issues that he just had to ruin it. I think
he feared she and I were leaving for good when we were only just
going to get more supplies and this set him off to where he tried
to kill me with his wind powers with which he had been cursed
and he blamed them for ruining him. And I was like “Dude we
were going to come back for you tomorrow.” And I had to run in
and try and get my luggage, but he was standing there in front of
all those television monitors, making those noises. Those speedy

sonic-like noises. It was freaky and disappointing.
I remember the final scene when I ran out into the driveway and
was like “Get ready to peel out! Just wait for me to be situated.”
And I just jumped in all haphazardly. It was kinda sloppy and
took a moment for me to feel secure in the car. Weird physics.
I jumped in the convertible car and Jeiezza took off speeding
down the road
In the last few seconds of the dream it panned around a restau-

rant and showed all these guests and there was a cartoon bird at
one of the tables who said “Today let’s do the hoodle hoo!”
ONE MORE RIDE
We were at Disney. We had one day remaining. We were plan-
ning on heading back home but I was trying to convince them
(my parents) that we had three or four more hours left and in
that time we could hit up three big rides like haunted mansion,
without which our experience might feel incomplete. So I was
trying to pick out which park to spend our remaining hours in
and how to achieve it. But then as I was picking out the rides I
wanted, I was like... lI guess it’s a lot different now that I’m older
and sicker. And it’s hard for me to do what I used to. I can’t go
on splash mountain due to my stomach. I can’t go on x due to my
neck. I can’t go on such and such for whatever reason.”And the
list went on. It was very sad to think I was returning to this joy-
ous place and realize that its joys were no longer available to me.
2260
TWO GUARDIANS
I was walking down the street with Nanny and Buffy by their
old house. Near the woods. And by Pat’s house. I had walked out
that way to speak to Nanny about something. Then I remember
hopping down this large ledge in the street and Buffy was trying
to come down after me. I think she might have eaten something
weird, like something that I dropped and I got annoyed.
Walking through that maze that led to a shower, and telling the
people that I was in love and getting married, and how I never
look at pornography.
Someone printed my birth name in a newspaper and I was going

to send them a death threat or something.
Everyone was supposed to have like two guardians that carried

them through the place. One male and one female. And they
each stood on a specific side. They weren’t normal humans. But
for some reason one of mine was broken or damaged. My male
one? I think. This was a very strange and complex dream but un-
fortunately my recall is limited.
2261
SPIDERWALK
I was in a hotel-like place, only it wasn’t a hotel. I think it was
supposed to be a house belonging to my paternal grandparents.
Only a few minutes earlier I was out in the hall, where Asia was
conversing with my father. She was standing around in a towel
and behaving in a really grumpy manner, and they were talking
about how it was almost time to leave. My dad then asked if I’m
good to go, and I said “Yeah, just give me two hours to finish up.”
Then we were going to head back on the road on some sort of
road trip, so I went to my room to start packing. While stand-
ing by the bed, staring at the television, an elderly woman came
in and asked if all of the accommodations, such as television and
stereo, within my room were good for me, and I’m like “They
were absolutely perfect, thank you.” They were happy with my
response. I then smiled and picked up a bag of red grapes that I
left laying on the floor and began eating them—cautiously so, be-
cause I was aware that I had been suffering extreme gastrointesti-
nal stress just earlier in the day (a reflection of what I had just en-
dured in reality). Then a couple of people entered the bedroom,
including my father and some young women, and so I moved
over to a different part of the room while my father spoke to the
elderly woman, who may have represented his mother. A young
woman is standing in front of me, plucks a grape from the bag
in my hand and eats it in front of me without uttering a word.
It felt flirtatious, given the way she stared at me while doing so.
I say nothing and just keep eating. She does it again. And then
another girl comes by and grabs one. But something happened
at this moment... I forget exactly what but something backfired
and water splashed in their faces or something popped and they
got so upset and had to go dry off or something—both of the
girls—and I was laughing hysterically and couldn’t stop. I really,
2262
really tried to contain myself but I couldn’t. One of the girls gave
me the finger and was really mad as if I made this happen, and I
couldn’t stop laughing and had to turn around and lean on the
shelf on the wall while cracking up.
Right after this I dropped down to my hands and feet and went
spider-walking down the hall and I did so rapidly. I ran straight
through what felt like a hotel restaurant, and I turned right and
then I’m in this Toys R’ Us-like place and I hear babies crying
as I pass by and I wonder if I should get up and be mindful, be-
cause I realize I am probably scaring them, but I continue any-
way. Then a stray beagle started following me—not aggressively
so, and it wasn’t even barking. He just wants to follow me and
play with me. So then I spider-walked all the way to the apparel
section and I’m browsing shirts with the dog still sniffing around
with me. And I loudly proclaim “These SUCK!” because they
had no band shirts... just record label stuff. Then I went to look
at the ink and crafts, thinking that I should pick some specific
item up here before leaving because I couldn’t get it elsewhere,
and when I didn’t see what I wanted I went walking to the left,
where I passed by a guy on a motor cart who was making jokes
as I passed. I laughed, but I was just being friendly and humor-
ing him. There was something weird about him. He’s just zoom-
ing around in this area. Then I dropped down and began spi-
der-walking again, and I wandered into a bright, blinding light.
I heard chanting. When my eyes adjusted to the light I realized
I had wandered into a church congregation or ceremony that
was taking place and I was spider-walking in front of a crowd of
people reciting scripture. And was like oh fuck no, and I spider-
walked on out of there.
I turned back to leave, but by now the place I had come from
had been detonated or something horrific. A hole was blown in
the building so I was basically standing in a dark, moonlit field.

Dozens had been killed in the blast. The guy betrayed them—the
guy in the motorized chair. Then I see one kid stirring. He calls
out, saying “Help me! Help me...!“ And upon hearing him I tried
to call for help on some mobile device. At that moment I started
to realize that I was a part of some sort of game and I was trying
to pass into this certain area where a signal should appear, but
it didn’t, and I was told that the situation could not be helped,
and therefore I was unable to help the child. I apologized to him,
telling him I was unable to save him and that it was beyond my
control. The boy became agitated when I said I couldn’t help,
and both he and his friend rose up like zombies and began at-
tacking me. I was then forced to kill them with a shovel. The
main one was a young boy maybe about ten but there was also a
taller teenage boy. And I hung a memorial in the Toys R’ Us store
or wherever it was that I returned to eventually. The memorial
incorporated the pants belonging to one of the boys that I killed
and an image hung upside down on a gallow-like post.
Flash forward to the end and I’m talking to this woman who is
standing beside my mother or maybe Asia and they’re painting
this giant nude portrait of a woman with a slightly distended
belly—the portrait having been cut into several triangles in a
very artistic manner. It was grayscale as well. And either I or the
woman said “That place takes people, man...”
FENCEMAN
I remember being in the Londonberry upstairs living room talk-
ing about dogs to my mother, how I missed the old dogs we had,
but how I had them closed or something in the aeperahe pock-
et of time in which I live so it’s just as good. But I couldn’t seem
to remember their names at the time. Though I know that one
of them was named by my wife and one by I. I had a wife at the
time. This was a weird ass fever Dream but a lot of it dissipated
upon waking. I fell asleep listening to heavy metal so the whole
dream just had this gritty late 80’s atmosphere which isn’t neces-
sarily reflected in its themes and events.
Oh shit, that part where Isaac and I were on this course that sort
of resembled a miniature golf course and at some point this man
behind a fence started calling to us. The man asked us some ques-
tions. He had a special place over there... really nice property, and
spoke through a fence. But it sounded like some weird ass anime
speak. And I was like “does it all have to do with x?” He said he
would only answer questions with honorifics placed at the end
of sentence and me and Isaac had to alternate turns asking, one
at a time. So my first question was wasted because it lacked hon-
orifics. Then Isaac asked one. Then I revisited my first question.
“What percentile of what's in there is narutorona?” Or whatever
the honorific was that he made me so I Wasn't given a straight an-
swer but the main reason I asked was because I wasn’t interested
in this. Isaac asked another question and the guy welcomed Isaac
in, leaving me out. Isaac was taken through the gate and I didn’t
see him again. I returned back through the course until reach-
ing my family... and there was some guy with them who looked
like a celebrity, and I remember being at a table where they were
and getting really upset about what happened and I knew Isaac
2265
wouldn’t be back that night. Then I overheard two adults talk-

ing about some information about my location had leaked and
they thought that the guy over the fence was using the questions
to figure out which one was me and lure me in but that I bum-
bled through the questions and therefore he thought Isaac was
me and that’s the only reason he took Isaac in, and apparently I
was wanted be some organization. So Isaac was in danger. Which
I was supposed to be in danger. And I don’t know what was done
about this.
I remember standing by a table, and there were desserts upon it.

I did something weird, like pulled something off.
Later in the dream I was in what was supposed to be my bed-

room, although it looked more like the guest bedroom in Nanny
and Poppop’s house, where I lived in early 2016. I was browsing
the television listings and there were cartoons playing and I was
thinking “I wonder what that’s like...” while reading different de-
scriptions.
Okay, now that I think about it I feel like Hayden was around
in the beginning and he might have turned into Isaac partway
through.
MENU SLAP
At the beginning I was in a kitchen with my grandparents, al-
though I can’t recall much more than that about it.
I was watching home movies, and there was this really weird
video of me just being silly and charismatic in Asia’s room while
wearing a costume. And I closed it off by slumping over and play-
ing the intro to Nothing Else Matters by Metallica on guitar. It
seemed like it was supposed to be silly, but the whole thing was
recorded in Asia’s New Jersey room and apparently right after
she left for college. So I got really sad watching it. And thought
maybe I could share some of this on my blog
Then my family decided to go to a restaurant to eat... me and my

parents, and we ran into Asia along the way and decided to stay.
I drew a sickle signature that was supposed to look like this T

growing into an octopus tentacle and wrapping around in a cool
way... it was very jagged and took a little bit of wrist work, but
then it got messed up and ended up looking like a sunflower in a
pot... like a sunflower... and my mother laughed at it and I erased
it. I couldn’t do a suitable signature on the menu or whatever I
was signing. So that we could get our food. We weren’t even sup-
posed to eat here. We had just showed up here while Asia was
eating. She even told us they don’t have the best food or service.
But we were just staying because she was here.
Then I mishandled the menu, and the lady manager from behind
the counter... super short and possibly Asian, Came out to cor-
rect me, And I’m being snide. At the very end she gets right to
right up to my ear and whispers something. Like to do some-
thing. And I’m like “uh huh.” It was a ridiculous scene. And I feel
2267
like she made some insinuation about my depression. In the part

where it was joked about “is this how you handle everything?”
And I’m like “When I’m depressed...yeah”
That little woman came over to scold me after I mishandled their

menu in my frustration. She’s like “Do you handle everything in
your life that way?” And I got a grin on my face and said “Yes,”
and I maintained my grin for about twenty seconds as she and
the two people behind her stared me down. I’m just sitting on a
stool with this small lady talking down to me. I think I slapped
the menu on the table in my frustration. And she’s like. “HEY.”
And she comes over. And I’m like “I’m just frustrated. And I
can’t find anything on this menu that I want to eat.”
Afterwards, Asia was saying “You should have stood up when she
came over,” like as a sign of respect, and I’m like “Fuck no. I am
three feet taller than her and I would have dwarfed her so that
would have completely backfired.” And then I said “I’m glad that
my alcohol kicked in right when she started talking to me.”
Then on the way out of the restaurant, as Asia was critiquing my

way of handling the situation, I hit her in the face with a cushion
while saying “Fuck you,” and then I declared that the next hour
or so would just be more of that. And so I did it again and again
and again. So the dream ends as I am bashing her in the face with
a cushion saying “Fuck you! Fuck you! You betrayed everyone
who ever loved you to become the possession of a horrible hu-
man being who lacks the ability to consider anything beyond his
own needs!”
Oops. I’m half-conscious over here while attempting to describe the

earlier scenes of the dream, along with something about ‘the rules
which weren’t meant to be followed’, but after dictating it to the air
and not even writing it down like I thought I was, I gave Jeiezza
two quick spanks on her hip before coming to consciousness and

apologizing. This isn’t the dream. This me just now trying to recall
the dream while drifting off to sleep again and slapping people in an
unconscious state.
Ugh, I’m still hallucinating. Now I’m sprinkling dead bees on

everything and I’m justifying it by saying that in 2017 I bought
a bag of dead bees. And the guy I’m telling this to was like
“What????”
Order, for reference: Kitchen scene. Video part. Running into

Asia at a restaurant where she was eating on the ledge and I was
talking to her from below the ledge. My family decided to stay.
They had already ordered and were depending on me to order
now. But it seemed like they were committing some type of fraud
because they were really adamant about my signing my name in a
specific spot... and it didn’t seem right to me, like it was between
the lines of where I was supposed to, and it seemed to be done to
make them think that we had more people than we did! I don’t
know. So they were all waiting on me. But the Menu sucked. Asia
told us as much minutes earlier, saying it was just a couple of
sandwiches, and something that looked like meat cereal.
VACUUM GIRL
The beginning part with my mom and Asia screaming. After I
was in Asia's room, something broke accidentally. Causing me to
run outside in Pine Hill. And down the driveway. When my fa-
ther arrived home and took it out on me without knowing what
I did wrong. And it was so painful because he persisted in telling
me who I was and how I felt despite what I was saying.
In the next dream I was in a mall of some sorts, entering a music

store and giving a long spiel about the evils of Christianity which
I gave to an obnoxious girl who wouldn’t leave me alone. We
walked into a music store or something, and we were the only
ones around. She was upset at me because I didn’t want to be
around her so she stripped off all her clothes but that just pissed
me off even more. So she was completely naked and pouting.
And she went up to the section with all the guitars, a bass with
two strings, High and low string only, Weird looking, Sits down
and starts playing it. I didn’t like how loud it was. I didn't like to
think that people would be drawn over. Then I played it a little
bit to show her some stuff. I remember my grandma peeked over
for some reason at this point. And I don’t think she saw the girl
was naked but she did notice that she was pouting or upset. So
I was like dammit. But then the girl got dressed. It was at this
time that that other girl showed up... she was with her sister at
the time... and I was immediately smitten by her... so When she
left the area I put down the bass and followed after her incon-
spicuously making it look like I was just leaving naturally. So I
followed them to the stairwell. And we got to talking. At this
point that earlier obnoxious girl was still tagging along but she
left after this point thankfully. This new girl was in need of a vac-
uum cleaner so I was like oh, here, take mine, or I bought or car-
2270
ried it for her. She was very appreciative. Her and her sister were
just getting back from the store. Me and that girl had very good
chemistry even though nothing super romantic happened. There
were just a lot of looks between us. And she seemed impressed
with everything I said. While I kept jumping at the opportunity
to help her. Her sister. Noticing this, left us alone at the stairwell.
And it felt so much like young love.
So in the more recent dream, I had just crawled out from under
this loooong stretch of crawl space that took me and this girl into
a playground area. I almost got stuck but I made it through. Had
to leave the vacuum cleaner I was carrying behind. At the end I
couldn’t get out unless one of the girls moved. Since there was
only one block to move, which caused it to feel like a video game.
The girl that I was with had already made it out and was with two
others: a little girl and her mom. When she saw me peeking out
she shows the little girl over so that I could come through.
We were speaking about eating disorders at the time when all

of this happened. Because she was telling me about her abusive
family and their struggles. She told me in the stairway previously
of this hotel. That’s when this black woman came by and it
seemed she was trying to go upstairs so I moved the clothes out
of her way and made room for her to pass, But then she smiled
and walked away the way she came from and I didn’t know what
she was doing. That’s when my partner also decided to go down-
stairs. Into this little laundry room. Which is where we found the
crawlspace to get outside.
I gave this really complex psychological diagnosis and spiel in the

staircase regarding her parents and I was thinking “Whoaaa that
sounded like the most official thing I’ve ever said.” Just this long
statement about how their childhood trauma has come to take
on this form and now it is ruling their lives and making her mis-
erable... especially anorexia since both of her parents struggled
with that. And that after ther spell and her seeming impressed
with my psychological knowledge I said “Also, I struggled with
anorexia for years, so let me tell you how I overcame it because it
was very interesting,” and she was like “Please do,” so then while
in the crawlspace I began started talking about compartmental-
izing my personality as Dean.
In the final scene I was sitting with the girl and her mother at
an outdoor table. She was talking about my father and I was try-
ing to remember the suicide poem. I guess the mother has a little
sister who was in the playground when we got out of the crawl
space and turned into her mother and sister. I really didn’t think
I’d make it through the crawlspace. I had to do some weeeeird
pushes and shoves to get through. And I did them by watching
her move. Rocket like almost. Just propelling through the nar-
row space. It sucked but we made it.
“Throwing godlong!” I believe that’s what I yelled from the

streets when my mom was shrieking. And I repeated it when I
was sitting at the table with my new girlfriend and her mother.
And the girl mentions what my father ate and watched this
morning. And I say “that sounds like him.” So her mother, who
was attractive, looked at me as if I just contradicted my partner.
But then I clarified “Oh no, I didn’t see him this morning... I
avoid him whenever I can.”
So I said “throwing godlong... that’s it.” Although I don’t believe

that was actually right. Anyway the poem was very dark. Some-
thing like:
“So long,
Rope to god,
Suicide.”
This was after my father verbally abused me and all the yelling,
and it took place in that part of the Pine Hill yard not far from
the entrance where the Impala used to be kept under the green
tarp.
Order of events: I was with Asia and accidentally broke some-

thing of hers. She flipped out. Mother heard her crying and
screamed at me. I ran out of the house in fear. And stood by the
gate as she screamed from the deck. Dad arrived home. I stood
in the back by the gate. While she’s still trying to convince him
I did wrong. And I’m trying to escape this bad situation. Then
dad starts telling me how foolish and afraid and whatever I am.
I remember once, while trying to deescalate the situation, he let
out a weird note and I tried to harmonize with him which was
kinda funny. But then the pain resumed. And I went to that part
in the yard where I wrote this suicide poem about the death of
myself and the death of god. Then I sat in the driveway again
for a while while neighbors and cars drove past. Then possibly
in the next dream I was walking through this store or whatever.
Don’t remember this part perfectly. But this is where the obnox-
ious girl came. We walked around for a while. At the guitar sec-
tion she stripped. Then two sisters came by. I was attracted. Fol-
lowed them. Staircase. One leaves. Basement. Crawlspace. Play-
ground. Table with mother.
SEVEN STEP NUTCASE
Earlier on I was in a building that looked much more like a camp.
Which was after a long car ride in which Asia and I were in
the backseat fighting over something. She asked for some of my
food. And I said wait until I’m down to the last couple bites and
then I’ll give you the rest. But then I just went and broke off a big
piece instead and gave it to her. Then we arrived at camp. I went
in and my parents were helping Asia get set up. While I turned
on mars Volta deloused on the boombox and unpacked my stufF.
Although I didn’t want to turn it too loud since I feared the
church people would take it away since you’re not allowed to
have music players or electronics at church camp. At this point it
looked like a cabin. Then I went to the bathroom to get ready to
go down and see everyone. But my schedule was weird so I was
waking too close to the time it was ending and I felt a little sad.
The bathroom was so similar to my Londonberry bathroom that

it essentially turned into my Londonberry home, and the camp-
site became my house. A church event was going on in my base-
ment level family room... a camp event. I could hear worship and
Jason leading while I was in the bathroom putting on makeup.
Only just waking up ‘cause my schedule was weird.
After being in the bathroom for a little while I went and cleaned
my room in case anyone saw it. So I was throwing a lot of stuff in-
to the closet. And at one point I had to crawl into my closet and
it felt like a grand excursion. I was on my hands and knees crawl-
ing and crawling. And there was a really sharp tack on which
I got stuck and cut myself so that was unpleasant, and there
were many. This was right before I went back into the bathroom.
Maybe I left the cabin to clean my room, then makeup came
2274
later. I just remember feeling like this super secular presence at

church camp; like I didn’t belong there at all due to my beliefs.
I then went back into the bathroom. I was applying make-up but
also taking part in some complex process of trying to break down
and eliminate all distinctions between the nature of my physical
body and abstract body. So I was changing my outfit and differ-
ent things like so, because if I could somehow get the physical
and spiritual in alignment then I would be free.
So there were three people—two guys and a girl. They had snuck
upstairs in my Londonberry house during worship practice and
were now rifling through my room. I saw them come up the
stairs while I was in the bathroom putting on make-up. I was
wearing a black tank top at the time, and I walked into my bed-
room pretending to be Tendon’s girlfriend, as I had just put on a
bunch of make-up and my hair was all big and curly. The girl saw
me first and asked who I was and why I was in there, since the
three of them acted like I had no right to be there, I said I was
the girlfriend of the guy, Tendon, who owned the room. The guy
gave me trouble when I walked into the room, like he didn’t want
me in there, because they were being jerks and going through my
stuff. Commenting about my bedroom, two of them thought it
was weird but this main guy liked the feel a lot, saying he could
get used to a place like this, and I think he wanted to steal some
stuff. We had a little confrontation and I forget exactly how it
happened but I just sucked him into myself. People freaked out.
I had to give the other guy my tank top so that he could take it to
a specific cleaners and get his friend separated from the shirt ma-
terial. I’m like... do I need to give you this shirt now or what and
he just sighed and reached out his hand, so I looked at the tank
top I was wearing and saw that there was now a freeze frame of
the guy who I had just sucked into myself on the shirt
The line of questioning when I entered my room was weird. They

asked “Whoa are you?” to which I responded “I am Diana.” I al-
so gave a last name, but I forget it now. Began with a W? They
wanted me to leave, so I said I was Tendon’s girlfriend, and this
was Tendon’s room. The guy got on his phone or something and
began looking up my name on Google or something as if to
check my story out, and this is shortly before I sucked him into
my shirt.
When I came out into the hallway without a shirt on and bare
chested, the girl (who was previously with the guys), who was
standing in the hall, looked at me and said “Wait a second...
you’re not a girl.” And I laughed and said “Sorry, I had to throw
in that extra little bit just because I was unconvinced with my
own make-up job.”
I had been pretending to be my own girlfriend, Diana. So they

didn’t know it was me. So while we were walking she noticed.
I laughed and said sorry, and I placed my hand on her back, all
cool-like, and then I walked into the dining room to grab a cig-
arette from a pack on the table, and then I just came out and
sort of stood there in the presence of the girl before waking up.
I made some comment about being a “seven step nutcase,” mean-
while having a guy’s body, a girl’s head and cigarette.
TERRORIZE
My father snapped at me and was in the middle of taking the
laundry downstairs when he was about to eat dinner and I asked
if he wanted to go driving afterwards. And he was super mean
about it. He was like “No I do not.” My mom sat him down and
had a talk with him about how he was behaving.
At the end of the dream I was watching this Godzilla-like crea-

ture terrorize a fury from the lsun repeftifr (?) one of the people
in a bridge. It was a video that starts off with the guy saying that
it's a demonstration and we don’t need any license plates or ad-
dress or what not. And then it just shows the bridge. And this
creature comes by and devours everything.
2277
PUNISHMENT
I was in that crazy place where that was that old fork with the
thing sleeping on it and I activated it and it got around and
moved on the platform and started. First I was moving around
with it but then it threw a knife at me and other weird things.
I took the knife. I tried to leave the location so as to save my
progress since I had done a lot here. But that’s when the door
closed and this dragon came down along with like a dozen other
of these guys which I had been following on the platform before.
Felt like Regigigas.
Something with John out in my driveway. I came in and my Dad

punished me for something that I did. Then John left. And then
afterwards I had to spend a while alone in my room. Missing
events. When I came out I had to talk to my father. And I’m like
“Listen, I’m thirty years old. Can you stop punishing me in that
way? And when you have a problem with something I did, can
you instead just talk to me about it and I’ll apologize and we can
hold a discussion?” He actually agreed to it and that there would
be no more punishments so I was very excited about that. Then I
went and sat on the couch in Pine Hill beside Asia and told her
all about it.
They were getting ready to raze the wall of my bedroom, which

contained all of these little things. And I wondered if this count-
ed as something I could deny now that I was old enough, as well,
because I didn’t want to sit here and see my bedroom wall torn
down. Like, I wondered if I had a say in whether this occurred or
not.
I remember being in that little diner toward the end. Sitting at

a table. With my mother, there was this attractive stranger girl
2278
across the table from me. Both she and my mother were doing
these crosswords or something of the sort which were on the
table upon arrival. I had a paper too but it was missing the cru-
cial section and I was like what the hell.
Oh man there was this box of cracker jacks in the cabinet and
when I went to eat some it was like all crumbs and you had to
fish for the chunks with a spoon, which I would do.
ROLLS AND MUFFINS
I was sitting in the lobby or whatever. The black girl in front
of me smiled when I made a reference to Kirby. Then the black
younger sister beside her kept looking at me and then kept trying
to talk. I was drawing on a bulletin. After a few minutes of the
same I whispered to her that people didn’t usually talk during
this part which is why I’m being quiet and drawing and she was
like okay, but I was sort of just trying to be alone. We still did
make some comments back and forth though.
Then I went to the kitchen to make myself some food. It was

like a church kitchen or something but not one I’ve known. And
I was looking for the English muffins in the fridge and actually
grabbed two sandwiches someone had made but put them back.
They were on the top shelf. Then a guy came in and asked and
thought I was looking for the potato rolls and said sorry he used
the last ones. And I said “Oh no, I’m looking for the English
muffins.” Then I looked on the table and saw more potato buns
and said “There are more of these here.” And he goes “Oooh,
okay.” And then I found the English muffins. However at this
point I was starting to think that potato rolls were the best idea.
Someone asked me to Google the prevalence of incest among the

population and among the animal kingdom. I don’t remember
why, hhahaha, and I think that I was confused even at the time
as to why I was being asked this.
2280
BOUNDARIES
I was in a bathroom at a theme park or some place where my
mother was apparently working as a cop. And it was so annoying
because the guy in the stall next to me was as tall as the ceiling
and we struck up a conversation about height. Later on as I was
coming out my mother apprehended this guy who had been in
the bathroom. He kept going in a different bathroom all night to
avoid her. He was going into the girls bathroom.
Then I sat with Alex and that other guy outside. They were acting
drunk. I was explaining I have a different sense of boundaries.
“Boundaries of what is possible as seen reflected on my ambi-
tions. Boundaries of what is acceptable as seen reflected in my
actions. And boundaries of what is...” the last one I stuttered on,
and I woke up at this point, but it related to the whole thing
that began this conversation in the first place. Someone asked
me something about the number three and I spoke of something
spiritual. And they said “Uhhh, not spiritual.” And I was like
“Well, not spiritual and not psychological. Because it has not dis-
solved my sanity, but fostered healing, expanding the boundaries
of what I think of as possible.”
I know something else happened before the bathroom scene. I

just don’t remember what.
2281
NO FEAR OF GOD
I was at a table eating with Nanny and Poppop and I guess my
other family members were nearby. I forget what I was talking
about with Nanny.
Later on my dad and I went on a drive. I needed to ship some-

thing and it was like 8:20 PM and I thought that after 9 PM you
couldn’t ship parcels to European countries. So I asked my fa-
ther to take me to the post office, since we had a twenty to thir-
ty minute drive. So he had just put a pie in the oven and timed
it for thirty minutes so he was like “Okay, sure.” Then he went
out on the deck. And I went to piss, but for some reason I didn’t
close the door all the way. And then he came walking back in and
walks in on me. I was in the dark, but I was like “Yo, get out!”
A few minutes earlier or maybe right then I was also asking if he
had a belt I could use because mine wasn’t tightening properly.
Then we got in the car. I forget what music I chose for the ride.
We ended up at this weird island-like place with these two men,

and the area was dirty and they had to rewind time by making
it clean. But something was about to occur regardless. Very diffi-
cult to explain.
This was right before W and I were sitting on the floor up-
stairs—the Londonberry living room—before the television
watching his father, or someone whom we kept speaking of as a
father. When the video began, the guy was standing before the
bathroom mirror shaving. On his chest was a bit of bushy black
hair, and as he shaved it off it revealed a tattoo which said “NO
FEAR OF GOD.” Weirdly enough, the camera that was film-
ing this video seemed to be shooting from the perspective of his
chest, and he didn’t get all of the chest hair, and since the camera
2282
was located in his chest, or at least it showed it that way, some

of the visuals were obscured and I had to try to tear off pieces
through the TV screen to create for a clearer image—however
that was possible. We kept saying it didn’t matter, but this way we
were able to get a clear image of the monster which looked like
something from NGE.
He then went to the boxing ring to fight. But he was fighting

against a monster, which was very freaky. After the fight began,
the monster took a bite out of the guy’s right arm after getting
him pinned, ripping out veins and arteries. The man was scream-
ing. It was not pleasant to watch. Then the monster made a com-
ment about how he won’t need his heart anymore. Then took
a bite out of his chest. And the man was screaming and it was
so painful to watch. And I was facing the other direction, away
from the television, because it was so uncomfortable to see.
The next scene it showed was the monster riding a cruise boat
across the ocean powered by the heart of the man he killed. It
was horrific.
STUNT DRIVER
At the start of the dream I was among the back-most rows of a
theater, while WT kept falling asleep and resting his head on me,
and I was thinking how that can’t possibly be comfortable. Then
I turned on a film on the huge screen and he woke up jolting,
but then I turned it down because it was an accident and he went
back to sleep.
Wait, what were those fucking animals? This is what led into the
Kaleb car part.
Because I remember having an animal with me when I got into

his car. But it was super small and weird. At first it felt like I was
getting into a random taxi in the parking lot. And I remember
shifting around in the front seat. While the little animal was in
the back. I forgot how I came upon it... or what it was, for that
matter. But it was not normal. It was quite abstract. And very
fragile
I spent most of the dream in the car with that guy who was like
Kaleb only he was supposed to be the guy on whom Kaleb was
based. We were driving. He would speed up at weird times. There
was that time that we drove into a weird downhill ditch thing
while the guy in front of us was shooting at us but he handled it
like a pro, meanwhile I’m covering my head trying not to take a
stray bullet. He just drove so crazy, but without flaw... like a stunt
driver. And we kept asking each other questions, though I proba-
bly asked the most. Apparently Kaleb was based on this guy, as in
this is who inspired him, so it was not actually Kaleb, although
they were very similar. There was definitely a bit of lucid weird-
ness in this one. Especially during the car ride. We both knew it
was a dream.
2284
The guy was interesting. Older guy, but so interesting in how

he worked. And I remember at one point asking a question like
“HOW does your mind come up with this?! I'm fascinated.”
And I asked this right after asking another question and he
laughed out loud at my enthusiasm. I forget the conversations
but it was surely interesting. He was driving me for a while it
seemed.
After that we returned back to the house Where there lived a

bunch of girls and one or two more guys. I remember when we
returned it happened so fast. I was just standing in the kitchen
after having been in the car so long. And I was like wait are we
back at your house. And he goes yeah. And I’m like how the hell
did that happen. Just an instantaneous transition.
A girl was sitting nearby making some specialty crutch. Just per-
sonalizing and colorizing her crutch. I asked her about it. How
long she has to use them. She goes “about a year... doctor says...
so I won’t be able to do much for the next year.” And I respond
“I dunno. My bedbound years were the most productive of my
liiiiife.”
I retreated to a bedroom (looked like my Charldon room) where

I was watching a television in my room, watching home movies
and realizing I had met a lot of these same girls a year earlier and
I wonder how they wools feel about that because I think we all
thought we were just meeting each other for the first time. So
while I was watching the video I remember one girl came down
to so her laundry in the next room over but didn’t seem to over-
hear or care about the video I was playing.
Return to the kitchen where we sat with crutch girl and another
girl who was showing us her music. She was playing this song and
I remember I was trying to be friendly and comment about it
but I was talking while the song was playing and she wasn’t re-
sponding so I felt foolish. Afterwards we sat for a minute before
a buzzer went off in the room to the left of me and something
had finished... The song girl then got up and ran into the room
while I clicked on another one of her songs on a Bandcamp page
on my phone which I was on at the time. She made some refer-
ence to cum, which made me think there was a scientific name
for cum that I didn’t know... which made more sense why it was
called cum.
At the end I had returned to my bed (this time in a room that

doesn’t look like any room I’ve ever had) and was sitting there
with a box of wheat thins while the guy across from me came to
set up his bed space. I asked are you going to bed?'' He goes yeah.
And I was going to say “it might be naive of me, but this first
day wasn’t so bad” I was about to go to bed myself. And another
woman in the room had just been like “a ha’ there it is!” Having
found some stuffed mouse toy on a shelf which she had appar-
ently been looking for.
STACKAMUNDA
I don’t remember the earliest parts of the dream, but there was
that scene early on in my dream where I was in my Charldon
bedroom attempting to sleep, and there was something about my
bed, and maybe an alarm, and then getting up and going upstairs
and trying to avoid my father. Sleeping difficulties. This was per-
haps not so long before the Isaac scene. As if everything occur-
ring from Isaac and afterwards was all a dream within a dream
and explains why I woke up again later at the very end. Seems
so bizarre... that there was a beginning pointing and end point
of this dream within a dream, rather than just awakening within
the dream... I actually went to bed as well. I find it hard to de-
scribe the time spent in my bedroom, though. It was more de-
tailed than I can explain. And then I was back in my bedroom at
the very end, if only for a moment.
Isaac and I were walking, we were carrying like three boxes of

food items and other weird things. And I had dropped some
sort of sparkly necklace along the way while walking away from
the house we just got kicked out of... where Patrick was living,
although it wasn’t his parents who kicked us out. Some other
adults. And I remember we were nearing a forest at the time.
And there was a group of teenage boys in the forest that I didn’t
wish to run into. Like I just saw them walk around and I’m sigh-
ing to myself “ugh what are they up to, let’s just avoid crossing
their path.” Then once I realized I dropped my necklace I told
Isaac I was going to go back and find it, handing him the boxes.
I was walking down the street with Isaac. Oh god, I remember

when it all began. We had just left someone’s house. It was
Patrick’s house, or it was supposed to be. We walked a little
2287
ways down the road when I realized I had dropped something of

mine. I asked him if he saw where I dropped it. He comment-
ed. So I walked back while he waited for me. And he was like
“Ehhh, I’ll just come back with you.” While walking back, the la-
dy of the house we were just at was out on the lawn letting the
dog in. So I slowed down because I didn’t want to be seen by her.
I commented to him that she was out. And Isaac was like aggghh.
Then when she went in, the kid of that house, a young girl, came
out, but that was fine. I just didn’t want anyone there to see that
me and Isaac were still walking around the area after leaving the
house. Not sure why. We were asked to leave I guess. I don’t re-
member the reason.
I don’t know if I ever found my necklace. I actually think I did.

Or at least I was able to visualize it in my mind, as in I saw where
it was at or at least saw what it looked like lying on the ground
among the leaves and streets. Just this shiny collection of beads.
On the way back I saw Patrick in the windows of his home, but
he didn’t see us. He was in his bedroom. He was communicat-
ing with someone. This is when shit started getting really weird.
The night air started getting weird. An event took place. The
moment when the event occurred was so weird. I was watching
Patrick in the window, and I knew that he was speaking to some
girl he liked, who I think was local. Don’t know how I knew this
since I couldn’t hear what he was saying.
But then across the street from his house, where there was an in-
cline, a valley, things started getting weird, and certain people
and houses were getting pulled into this mess and it didn’t seem
like it was avoidable. You just had to hope you weren't the ones
who got picked. Something arrived on earth and it appeared
down the hillside. Down the valley. And a family was covered in
blood. And there were medical staff freaking out. Nurses every-
where. I don’t remember what it was. Some sort of demonic or
alien event.
And so next thing I know I’m at this music event or something

weird. Or the outskirts of it. Just a public location. With my fa-
ther and not Isaac. And we’re trying to find a safe spot. Because
this thing is happening. I say music event but I think we were just
down in the valley where all of this was happening and trying to
get out of ground zero. And there are telltale signs that it’s about
to happen. Like it keeps repeating. You can always tell when it
happens. And I think I would see these nuns or nurses or what-
ever they were. I don’t know. And I would glimpse these build-
ings. The landscape on its own was very creepy. But when this
feeling would come in the air like something was about to hap-
pen it was just chilling, and no one really knew quite what was
going on. But something was coming down or possessing people.
That’s how I would describe it in retrospect anyway. Not sure I
even had that much of a handle on it at the time.
Anyway, later on I remember getting into this confrontation

with this guy who wouldn’t leave me alone. He pulled me aside
into his office. There was this giant thing that he forced on me
that I had to carry. Like a gigantic thing I was walking around
holding. Size of a fucking cross I swear. Like holding three giant
antennae. And I was going to use them against him. And then
we entered the office of someone we both knew. There’s sports
memorabilia and other personal things all over the wall. And he’s
walking me around the room telling me about it. And he notices
a couple random items are missing and asks why. And I said I
don’t know maybe he took them home with him for safekeeping
when news broke out of what was happening. And he was puz-
zled as to why the guy might pick those ones specifically.
So this guy, at this moment, was sort of established as being the

father of a girl that I knew, but what did he want from me? I
don’t remember. What was that giant contraption I was hold-
ing? I don’t remember but it was something the man tried to use
against me as I was avoiding him. And it was happening slowly,
like slowly being pushed into me. But I took it into my hands, be-
cause he was still trying to be inconspicuous, pretending he was
on my side and I was pretending I didn’t know what he was do-
ing. But I planned to use it against him as a weapon soon on. The
guy was definitely possessed by something. Just something really
evil. And it’s hard to explain his methods. Just really creepy. Ei-
ther before or after this he cornered me in a bathroom and some-
thing awful and rapey and bloody happened, and the nurse who
found me almost threw up. But I’m not sure if I was the victim. I
may have just been the camera watching the victim.
This horrible man cornered me and followed me in this room. I

don’t remember what he was doing, but I remember the response
it garnered, since when the nurses saw what he did to people she
ran out trying not to puke and said it’s the worst things she’s seen
on the job. I ran out and followed her like a camera until she
reached the bathroom.
After this happened I escaped to this maze of hallways where

I could basically see above the maze but I was trying to escape
the man’s path. He wasn’t immediately present but I knew he
would be, and if I zoomed out I could often see him on a differ-
ent floor of the place and he would be staring up at the camera
all creepy-like. So I tried to change the genre of the movie, the
dream, and it didn’t do it. At some point he says to me “Gonna
have to do more than change the genre of your dream to get rid
of me.” So I jumped off the balcony and ended up in this weird
restaurant-like place knowing he would be coming after me soon.
I had just reunited with my parents and was asking for them to
help hide me, but they were speaking Hindi and I couldn’t com-
municate with them. So I just jumped off a second balcony into
the mall in fleeing from the man and ran around doing whatev-
er. I was running, but I was passing all these Asian women with
prosthetic limbs, or black gloves. And when I would pass them
I would reach out my hand to high five them, or to hold their
hands. And they would allow it of me. The last girl was wearing
this glove, and I slipped my hand into hers like laced. And I re-
member my finger got stuck in the loop of her glove. Not stuck
but momentarily snagged, and it changed her whole mood, like
it was all good what I was doing but when that happened it was
wrong. And I remember thinking to myself goddammit why did
that need to happen. Because otherwise it was a great experience
but now it will be remembered as this awkward and regrettable
event for us both just because of that tiny detail which turned
it from silly into creepy, like I had overstepped some boundaries
(that’s what it felt like). Then I just kept running through the
mall knowing I was about to wake up.
Then I started pressing buttons on my head or something, to

eject myself from the dream. And I successfully did so. I pressed
a button that did audio and image. And I was suddenly back in
my room, although I think at first it was the wrong room. And
that’s when I heard James saying he knew something was wrong
with the film as soon as it started playing and the song wasn’t
even right. They were playing the enemy’s song in a war movie,
also called the traitor’s theme: “Stackamunda.”
The “film” that we were in was apparently a war film, or that’s

what was said at the end, and the audience knew something has
gone wrong when the theme song for the film which played was
actually the enemy theme, known as “Stackamunda” (that’s how
it was pronounced anyway... Stack Immunda?) That was the last

line of the dream, that strange word.
MOLTEN LAVA SCREAMS
Some guy was talking to me about music while I was sitting on
a computer. Felt like a church camp building. I was telling him
about some of my favorite old bands from when I was a teenag-
er, and mentioned The Mars Volta. “That probably tells you a lot
about my personality,” I said, to which he bluntly says “acidhead.”
Then he starts asking me about some other band with “birds”
in the title and I didn’t know them. And he said I’d like they
them. He referred to them as “sassy and emo”. And I asked “Like
Blood Brothers-type sassy?” And then he starts singing one of
their songs and it simply sounds like cliche screamo from the
naughts.
Then I went over to speak with some black guy who was standing
nearby looking at a new coffee mug he has picked up, and it was
covered with all of this propaganda art and we were both stand-
ing there reading the quotes and it was so cool.
This might have been before that kitchen scene where I went in
and that guy was morbidly depressed from the recent loss of his
little miniature pet which he got in some freezer box. Then he
opened the freezer and pulled out another box which just looked
like any old frozen pizza, and there was another guy inside, and
we were reading about the guy’s background and interests on
the back of the box. These were real people that had somehow
been freeze dried and transported, but the guy was alive, albeit so
miniature. We read the description and he sounded cool and in-
tense for the most part, although we were unsure about his polit-
ical stance and foreign policy which were unclear from the card-
board box. Then I got envious and went into the freezer to see if
2293
any were left and there was just this weird gloopy fish divided in-
to three parts that was still alive and miniature.
Then I think it was around this time that I was in that small
crowd of people, and Aaron was there, and he had asked me if
I played an acoustic set at the recent talent showcase or some-
thing, and I said “No, but Will did,” and he responds “What
is he, your dealer?” He was just joking, but I didn’t get why he
would say that.
Then later I was under that tent with those women who kept re-
filling my cup with dry cereal which I would eat while speaking
with them. At first it was frosted Cheerios or but later got refilled
to lucky charms. I was waiting for my girlfriend, who had left
down the hallway for some appointment, and I was sitting in the
pavilion just outside. These black girls were asking my me about
me girlfriend, and I thought we were all having a fun conver-
sation until right around the time that my girlfriend was set to
come out of the building interview place these girls left me, went
ahead down the corridor, and approached my girlfriend before I
could get to her. I remember turning to the guy I was with say-
ing “I’m about to kick some fucking asses for the first time since
I’ve been in this state.” I was not happy. “I don’t know what those
girls are up to but I don’t like it.”
Then I barged into the office where three of the superintendents

were seated. I said to the woman “I’m gonna kill you with a
hammer and him with a blade.” When I came up with that line
I thought there were only two people, so I felt silly. Then she
buzzes someone saying. “He said the happy words. Close the
gate.” So then I went running down the hall and the gate closed
in front of me, locking me in as well.
Then I ended up in that boiler room with the gay superinten-

dent, where he threatened me with a lava hose. I convinced him
or forced him to poor the lava down his pants. He screamed
and screamed in the most horrific manner as the lava ran down.
When the others who were prisoners here learned of what I did
they were all shocked. I was already legendary. I was still search-
ing for my girlfriend, though.
ESCAPE ELEVATORS
Asia and I decided we still want to go to the costume party after
all. Some late night party. She chose to go as Pikachu since it’s all
she had. I forget what I was. But we left and ended up in this se-
cret facility. Might have been more scenes but I can’t recall them.
Suddenly the two of us are sneaking around alongside others

within this high security building that we were definitely not
supposed to be in. We hid in a dark bathroom for a while and
I was fearing they would soon find us here. Then Asia pressed a
buzzer above the door and I’m like what the hell ow they’ll defi-
nitely find us. So then we broke for the elevator, which was pre-
ceded by a desk where we had to state to the lady where we were
going, but she didn’t seem suspicious of us. It felt like there was a
contest going on which determined which individuals or groups
could escape via elevator and in what order.
Then when we made it onto the elevator. It was a large room with
several elevators accessible. The people across the way also made
it on. People were rushing on quickly. And the evil men across
the way were laughing and making a face at us to have made it
on. So I did the same back at them. Then the guy who joined us
on the elevator asked what I was doing, and I said that such and
such guy made it in the other elevators. And then I described the
man by slumping my shoulders into a box shape. And then Asia
commented about how he looks a lot sadder on his ID cars but a
lot meaner in person, and the guy who had joined us immediate-
ly knew who we were talking about. The guy we were describing
was not a good guy. He had a hand in running this place, like he
was part of the board.
2296
Somehow, in the final scene of the dream, I was standing out in

the church hallway chatting with a group of about five or so peo-
ple, among which was two hot girls with vaguely goth looks. At
one point I left the group and went strolling through the sanc-
tuary before church. It was mostly empty (although Isaac’s fa-
ther was picking a seat at the right side of the sanctuary right as I
was coming through). After walking through the sanctuary prior
to the service I saw someone had placed a skull underneath one
of the pews. If seemed to be sitting atop a black shirt or some-
thing. I quickly and excitedly returned to the group in the hall-
way. And I said someone’s brought a skull and left it under the
pew, half expecting it to be one of the girls, but it wasn’t. So they
all wanted to see. And I convinced them to sit with me. I had
to sort of lower myself, almost to the point of walking on hands
and knees, to see where the skull was as we entered the sanctu-
ary, which was now full and people were staring. Attracted even
more stares when one of the girls full on decides to piggy back
me to the pew, where she then switched to sitting in my lap dur-
ing the start of service. Surprised I didn’t get kicked out. Then
the guy in the pew behind me who was either Dan or SI and was
wearing a mask was pulling on my head from behind saying some
weird things.
THREE IRONS
I was out walking with a girl through these hallways and we were
passing by this group of cool people, and so I acted like I wasn’t
with her. It wasn’t anything that I said. It was my attitude. I sim-
ply thought she would be embarrassed to be seen with me, so I
kept stone faced and walked ahead as we were passing by that
group, but then she ran up to me and I resumed my friendly be-
havior and I was surprised she came back to me. She didn’t un-
derstand what I was doing so I told her I only did it for her.
Then. shortly after that, I collected these three heat irons from
around the room and went upstairs into this separate special
room which was its own little holding cell/bedroom and I
stripped off my clothes. That’s when things got political.
2298
THE TOUR
At the beginning of the dream I was in this waiting room and
Anita was passing by the doorway to tell me something. She told
me she was going to go do some errand, and she asked “Can
you wait?” And I smiled at her and said “Can you wait?” And
I closed the door asking her to have a few minutes with me be-
fore she left and we kissed out on the couch, in this little room
that looked like a waiting room with TV’s and couches and mag-
azines. Soon she had to run off. This is when I made those masks
and wandered around the house. People were outside the win-
dow of my house.
I was wearing these masks... sort of like the masks worn over the
mouth while skiing, cloth coverings like my black ones.. but they
had pictures on them or I drew pictures of a mouth and eyes on
them. I had two separate raggedy ones. I put one over my mouth
and one over my eyes. Then I walked around the house. Then
I noticed a woman was walking around outside my house. So I
crept up to the window and stared her down. She found it weird
more than frightening and I followed her from room to room.
She was with a small party who was apparently being shown the
house by my father.
I remember the guys all found it funny when they saw me but
in a positive way. At the end of their tour I was going outside
and down the deck to just hang out and see what’s going on. The
door was hard to open, heavy. And as I went out some lady said
she needed my help walking down the stairs but then she totally
took off way faster than me and I was the one being led.
I didn’t see the people I saw through the window. But I saw my
dad with another party. And then I saw people running off into
2299
the woods. And people were like wtf is going on. And I thought
they were people who didn’t want to pay for the tours just ditch-
ing. But I didn’t think they were a part of our tours. Just people
running to the nearby woods.
So then I went walking around the other side of the house, still
wearing my masks, and I came upon this little lounge area with
soda machines and scene kids, and they got a kick out of my
masks. I talked with one of the guys who kept telling me about
the celebrities he’s met and how he thinks he has the phone num-
ber of this one actress, while the other guys were being loud and
jumping off a picnic table, and there was a slightly older cool guy
in black who was more quiet and nonchalant.
PEANUT SPEED-EATING
Me and my dad making a peanut run from Walmart to Walmart.
But then because it took us so long to actually drive and also
open the peanuts we decided to cut out some of those parts next
time. Besides, I ate a bunch of honey roasted peanuts, but then
had to stop the moment that I got the roasted ones open. So
we decided that next time we would pause for certain parts. We
didn’t even end up paying for them. My dad just went walk-
ing out and I didn’t stop him. So then when we got to the car
I’m thinking yo hurry before someone follows us out. Okay, let
me say that again. I was in some speed-eating contest or some-
thing, driving from Walmart to Walmart, where I would go to
the planters peanuts, twist off the top and just shovel 'em down
as quickly as I could. I got through 1/3 of the honey roasted tub.
I went on a huge political tirade in Walmart about fascism and

how the evangelical Christians want to destroy the world.
Then we went driving and I remember us driving along that steep

overpass with the tight turns and we were scraping the wall to the
right of us during a sharp turn and I thought we would crash but
we didn’t.
At the end of the dream a hurricane was coming. I had brought

a VR headset down with me in the cellar but there was no con-
troller and when I put it on there was a video of Blue Öyster
Cult. I forget which song... Joan Crawford? But I couldn’t press
play or zoom out since I lacked a controller. I was staring out the
basement windows. Looked like a cellar in New Jersey. Asia and
dad never followed me out here and chose to stay in the house,
while I ran down here, and I could hear the rain starting up. I was
wishing I brought some peanuts down in the cellar with me.
2301
I was thinking about gangsters and ninjas.

ELEVATOR TO NOWHERE
I was in that elevator for a while, after I had been in that hallway.
When that boy I was with who looked like Danny played a prank
on a janitor or someone and then took off running into the ele-
vator. I followed after him but his elevator had already gone up
so I had to wait for the next one. And had to guess which floor
he went to. It looked like he went to four, but when I got to four
it was like this weird movie set where everyone was rude to me.
And then I went to five which was like a beach with water filled
with frogs and I was a dragon or salamander temporarily who
jumped off the cliff because I didn’t see the purpose of it all. And
six was a carnival.
Then I was in that classroom scene where all those people walked
in the room, but I was actually watching it from my phone and
not actually taking part in its And then I was editing it like an
image, changing the backdrop, but changing the backdrop made
it look less like a class and more like an attic with a girl sitting at
a drum set.
In the final moments of the dream a seven-year-old boy with a

surprisingly deep (for his age) voice was being interviewed about
some feat.
2303
DONUT HO
I was sitting down with my mother and sister, saying ``over the
next day I intend to finish up my donuts but then I’ll stop ask-
ing for them... I don’t intend to continue this indefinitely... But I
am thankful that you guys bought me donuts each day this week
without questioning it... and it helped me get through this tough
time.” I had been eating donuts every day for a week or two and
my parents had bought them for me... so I was grateful. And af-
ter that talk, where I spoke with my mother and Asia about my
decision, I went and raided the cabinets (Charldon) for more
deserts... ugh everything was so enticing.
Then I went and stood in the refrigerator since it was just after
Christmas time and the fridge was filled with cookies and dishes
and desserts, and my father had a big thing of walnuty kolaczkis
sent by his sister and I was staring at them wondering if I could
eat one. There were notes attached to the container about how
they were for my dad, and I also found a seemingly insulting note
saying that “if Kori was to eat any of this stuff make sure he eats
in this specific way and not like he did when he was a kid, or not
like Joe (it then listed some random guy whose was Joe and it
showed a picture of this man standing hunched over by the sink
and he had a mustache).
In the final scene I was in a candle store with some guy. It was a
very hippyish store with astrology things seen here and there. I
was checking out the candles and spices trying to figure out what
I had smelled the other day at some other event and really en-
joyed it.
The place also made its own wines and was really proud of the
land in which all of this stuff was made and grown. So there were
2304
maps and other things to let people know how it was laid out
and where each wine or scent comes from. And you get a little
card with your purchase that tells you more of that sort of info.
So they were really proud of the details of such a layout.
The guy I was with then went to look at the wines and these big
steins that look like the stein at my house that’s up on top of the
cabinets. We looked for several minutes. I showed him this sauce.
It was expensive so I didn’t expect him to get it but he had a sam-
ple and then I saw him taking it to the checkout counter at the
end along with one another candle or spice. And so I was like
“one second... I’ll be up there with you in a moment.” And I ran
back to the candle wall where I had been earlier to see if I actu-
ally wanted to buy something. We walked around this place for a
little while holding little conversations.
SCYTHEBUTCHER
Super creepy dream (pardon the disorganization...I’ll come back
to this later and make better sense of the write up)
There was this part where all of us were sitting there. This punk
girl was sitting there sewing something for me. Something has
broken off previously. There were some little things. It was me,
WT, a girl and a guy sitting in a little house and we were making
something. I was sitting with the punk girl by a table as she was
sewing something. After walking back from the kitchen.Wish I
remember what the punk girl was helping me with. There was
this tiny thing she was helping to see into something. We are
working on this project. Previously in the kitchen. But now sit-
ting in the living room of this house
Oh there was that part with a dog. Was it vicious? Kind?
At some point in the afternoon or early evening we all went

food shopping I saw these purple fruits by the entrance of Wal-
mart that I had been wanting to try, having heard so much about
them, and there was a type that came in this large bag for only
$4.50, but WT pointed out that the only part he didn’t like was
that it was common practice to include a single clam with them,
and there was one depicted on the package so I knew he was
right. It had something to do with flavoring them. It was an an-
cient tradition, and not good since we were vegetarians.
Afterwards we all went driving around at night. There was that

weird parking place with the bridge which was too far from our
location and I didn’t want to use so WR and these three people
drove me around
2306
On the next day we returned to the house and there was that
scene where his mother ran up to me when we were in the flower
nursery and she was worried about me and asked what happened
to all of us the previous day, because I had taken off. I said I was
with her son and that we went out for a drive with some people
who were going to take me home. I remember walking around
with WT’s mother in the nursery for a bit. Lots of rows, like the
plant section of Lowes. And I was convincing her not to worry
about me or her son. I called out to her that as long as WT and I
are so close she doesn’t have anything to worry about. Then I fol-
lowed her into this food court area where all of these people were
getting food. She had to run off to tackle something real quick.
Everything felt really nineties
The dream wasn’t a horror the whole time, But at some point,
Shortly after the meeting with WT’s mother, the horror element
had entered and it had become some survival nightmare. But it
was also sort of pre planned, As in there seemed to be the sense
that this was all happening on a schedule or like we expected
it. Because it had happened in previous years. And I had taken
part in it previously so I was telling people what to expect about
times... like at 10:00 the skeletons come out. And I told them
it doesn’t even end at 12 but like three hours after. So the guy
who has been holding on all that time was like oh fuck if when
I told him that. The house would just fill with these ghosts and
demons are creatures, each of them unique... It wasn't like an un-
dead army, all generic and vague; but like real dead people with
backstories, and they would find a way to trick and destroy you.
It was horrific. So people were taking different strategies. The
two punk people with whom I spent the beginning of the dream
set up in the living room on the couch in front of the tv, making
that their area, and they defended it. I wanted to join them but I
just didn’t feel that it was sufficiently safe. They seemed overcon-
fident and tried to act tough.
WT and his mother were in the basement last time I saw them.
When I went to check on WT and his mother, presumably to
join them in hiding, I opened the basement door to pitch black-
ness and as I slowly descended the stairs into darkness this lit-
tle baby demon came crawling up the stairs and latched onto
me and did quite some damage to my health before I finally re-
moved it from myself. And as it damaged me I saw its backsto-
ry which involved some guy named the Scythebutcher and then
I scanned the darkness of the room around me. to my left and I
saw a giant menacing outline or I felt it at least and I’m like fuck
no and I took off up the stairs at quickly as possible, knowing
that that guy (Scythebutcher) was here in my presence. Fortu-
nately he didn’t follow when I fled.
At the end of the dream I was in the upper story of the house
locked in a room and unable to go. At the end of the dream once
the skeleton guards burst in I had to pick up a bat and start fight-
ing and I didn’t know if I had enough physical strength to do so.
After beating on it ran back outside and I chased it onto a ledge,
ending up outside on the ledge, where my standing on this beam
prevented another skeleton guard from spawning there. He was
flying beneath me and I could see him but he couldn’t land here
since I was standing right in his spot, like on a perch
The top of the house was these two guys. The three of us were
the last standing as far as we knew. We were in this locked room.
Wouldn’t allow anyone to open the door. We just laid in bed
talking. We were barricaded. One guy was like man, I have to
pee. And the owner showed resistance or at least annoyance at
the thought of the other guy peeing through a vent or hole. Guy
was peeing through a hole in the floor and I said just let him do
it. Three of us laying in bed and the guy in the middle, being the
owner of the house and saying “I couldn’t have made it this far
without you guys” But I was like just let him man, I did it last
time I was here. Then I got up and looked around the room for
the same spot that I did previously. This is when I told him it
doesn’t end at 12. And asked if the skeleton guards had not even
shown up yet. Then they showed up. Then I followed one out on-
to the perch. Then I woke up.
Order of events:
Me, WT, and the two punks sitting in a house doing something
Punk girl helping me fix something. She had this large tube or
something and there was this little delicate piece that we were
trying to preserve
And she was putting it into something for me
Then we went to the store
This was right before or right after we all drove around in the car
a bit at night and passed that parking area with the little bridge...
little parking island
We drove through several neighborhoods just looking around

for something
I returned
To the house
Went down in the plant nursery to get something for cooking

since it was near the kitchen pantry
WT’s mother was there and talked to me
She was worried about me yesterday ‘cause I just left suddenly
I told her I got a ride
She still had reasons for being anxious that I did so
I assured her it was okay and gave an awkward half hug which
was more of a shoulder touch
Then she wandered off down the hallway
And I shouted about how she needn’t worry as long as WT and

I are close
Then the food court part
Then I returned to the kitchen
then I think we all fixed up food
I don’t remember how it transitioned INTo the nightmare
Probably the stairs and basement part
But yeah, then just add all of the parts I previously said.
I’m pretty sure the whole dream started following some hallu-
cination involving me talking to WT... or I was sleepwalking.
Thought I was communicating something with him. Just wish I
could remember the punk and dog parts better.
WHITE MAZE
At the end I pushed out the screen window and bent the frame
so that I could fit through while saying to myself that I know
how to get by from here and then I reviewed directions in my
mind from how to make it to my car and how to drive down the
road to get home. For the first forty five minutes I would drive
down the road as if I was being followed. Swerving and taking
unnecessary turns so as to throw off any followers. It was so weird
to be back on the ground
I got kicked in the room faster flying across the building I think
with my sister. We were all in this crazy place. On the way out
I was flying with my sister and I remember reaching out to grab
that picture going Oooh but I missed it. We had all been sitting
in this auditorium room watching something. And a few min-
utes earlier my whole row actually launched ahead of the row in
front of us in a very bizarre way which would not be possible in
reality. Like my whole row of seats just come down upon the one
in front of me. Causing them to laugh and sneeze like crazy. And
then we apologized but our row floated away. It was so weird. We
were all in the middle of some lecture. And Repeatedly getting
in trouble for talking and whatnot. I was sitting with Asia.
Before all of this we were roaming the place. And the different
rooms. I remember padded rooms and long hallways.
Oh there was a part in the church parking lot where that guy
who was with my dad and I accidentally let loose something that
rolled down the hill and hit the blue van like a bowling ball,
sending it careening down the hill. And I felt so bad about it be-
cause this guy who owned the truck had already been through so
much and I hated for him to see this but then I found out that
2311
he didn’t make it and that he died inside... tonight. Not the van
part. He died in the maze.
Before all of this... Oh god, what killed him... like... this maze...
What was that part where I snuck away out of the mass and into
the room with that little girl who was serving candy. And she was
stuck or hiding behind the counter and I went over there with
her. And took some candy.
Why were we all hiding and competing? Some weird tourna-

ment. There were parts about a band performing in the next
room. Oh god I remember that part where I was sitting on that
laughing ledge. That’s right. Soon before the lecture part at the
end my father launched off on some race and I had been behind
him at the time helping to launch him, so when he launched I
just stayed and laid out on this launching area looking cool and it
caught on and others did too. So everyone came over and started
laying here
I remember all those creepy weird papier-mâché looking chil-

dren came running towards it and I quietly thought eww “Oh no
is this safe. But then the launching pad got flooded with all of
these cute letters and whatnot from children and I found them
so heartwarming. Then I got to talking to the guy next to me
who was reading a note. I asked him if it was his notes he was
reading, if it was his book. And ended up talking about my own
writings. I was being nice but he seemed very ehhh and he just
got up and moved away from me and it hurt my feelings
Wish I had a better recollection of what happened back in the

white maze. I do remember way back when I arrived at this place
in the first place. It was just a quaint little building like a shop
and I entered through the main entrance, though I don’t know if
I knew what I was getting into. Then all of the people ended up
getting called away in the back room or whatever
What was that part with the cats? Or dogs. There was a very
small animal. What happened to it?
I remember at the end while my sister and I were flying together

around the speaking room... like two people in a hang glider. She
was on the bottom and yelling insults at all of the people we were
about to collide with and I was saying geez Asia chill out. Like
she couldn’t go without telling everyone how she felt. So when
we flew into that white room with drawings all over the wall,
they just up and locked us in, perhaps not realizing how easily
I would escape. However for some reason Asia doesn’t seem to
have made it into that room with me since she wasn’t there when
I escaped out the window.
But how did that guy die? What happened in the maze. Lots of
running. It didn’t always feel dangerous
There was something very Christian about this whole place and
what they were trying to accomplish, so my influence was not
welcome
I remember when Asia and I first sat in the auditorium speaking

room at the end we sat around the corner from this show that
was taking place. A band was performing or something but I was
afraid to go over there since I was such a fan that I didn’t want
them to end up calling us out as well; since we had been leaving
a trail of mayhem and I would have just felt shitty to bother a
band that I liked. So I was practically hiding around the corner
not wanting to go check them out or look at them at all
Earliest thing I can remember after the maze is crawling over into
the place where the girl has candy but that was already after big
stuff had happened... dammit. I’m getting super weird but vague
intimations like there was this slender old ghostly man with me
for a while and I remember being scolded for something I had
done wrong... scolded frequently.
THE RETURN OF CHRISTINE
‘IRONSIDES’
I was sitting there in this bookstore and this girl was talking to
me about music and how she helped produce this radio show.
She told me to listen at 10 AM on the station after I wake up,
but I forgot the station and at the time I thought I could just hop
back into my dream to get the details again. Some pop psycholo-
gist walked by and harassed some of the girls nearby so I walked
over and I was like “What the hell happened to you, man? Go
away. Get out of here.”
Anyway, I was sitting there getting ready for this girl to show me
her music video. And as she stated singing I was like “I’ve seen
this before. It’s you, you’re back.” And the tone quickly shifted,
like she was so happy I remembered her. The idea was that she
had reached out to me in a dream before. Her name was Chris-
tine. She was some dream DJ or something. I think her nick-
name was Ironsides or something. She had a very mellow DJ
voice. Very cool sort of goth girl. And I forget the name of the
song, but as soon as it started to play I recognized the tune. I had
been with other girls at the time. There were two other girls, both
of them friends, and I was talking to them as they were vying for
my attention but once I recognized Christine I focused all my at-
tention on her. After she left I remember some person brought
her something of mine and the girl was like talking about “What
piece is this? A connector or something?“ and Christine freaked
out, “That’s his chin! Bring it back!” The second girl had taken
my helmet but part of my lower face was in it still, somehow, and
I didn’t even know it was gone, so then the girl returned from
this dimension to give it back to me, leaving it on the floor be-
fore disappearing again.
2315
I just sat there tinkering with the radio and the television in the
middle of this bookstore until the end of the dream.
Okay I remember now. I had walked into a costume store in the

late hours of night. This was after that long part where I was
hanging out with that jock guy who had the big dog. I don’t re-
member how we met but I was at his house. And that was after
we went for a drive and I was looking through his phone at pics
of his girlfriend. Not specifically, but I was browsing through his
phone in search of something specific and there were a lot of pics
of his girlfriend so I kept worrying I was going to run into some
explicit pics I wasn’t supposed to see and I was really weirded
out that he didn’t mind me scrolling through his pic folders so
freely. I think I met him while I was out on some long walk. Oh
wait I remember the snake. The red snake. I was in a movie the-
ater parking lot and almost got bitten by a red snake. But this
was near the end in the parking lot of the costume store, after the
jock guy.
Earlier I had been on a walk around some countryside when I

met this guy and I think I had been stalking him as part of some
mission/operation. He let me come down to his house and then
we went down into his basement and were talking and rummag-
ing through stuff while speaking about what was going on in his
life. Then I was telling him, as we were walking out of the base-
ment, “Well, now you’re coming to that age when what you want
and what you need will begin to coalesce and your attitude will
change in favor of the growth.” Or something like that. That’s
when we walked up to the foyer and he opened the kitchen door
to greet his dog, but when I glimpsed how huge the dog was I
ran upstairs into his bedroom, where there was his other big, but
docile, black dog sitting on the bed. So I sat down next to the
other dog, taking one of its treats away from it, so that I could
throw it at the other dog if it came up after me, since I knew it

was coming in the house right behind me. When it came in I
was a little freaked out and had my knees up to my chest and ex-
plained to the guy how I’ve had bad experiences with dogs, but
it’s not all dogs, and I told him how sometime if I’m out and
about and they seemed friendly and waggy then I’ll pet them,
but typically dogs of this size frighten me. Shortly after that we
parted ways.
Wait, at which point did we go on that car trip through Orlando

in the middle of the night?
And this was after we went on that long drive through Orlando
and passed by all those giant tank holograms but since it was
dark out we couldn’t really see them. They were humongous, on
our left side, holograms of military tanks firing at buildings. And
I was talking about how I hadn’t been here since New Years but
my parents often drove me down here to celebrate the New Year
which seemed like a weird excuse to drive all the way down here.
After I left him I encountered a red snake in the parking lot

and barely avoiding getting bit. Then I went entered the costume
store—basically a Party City. I was wearing my asthma mask
along with my normal hat and brown robe and I wondered if
they would assume that I was already wearing a costume. I
thought maybe I should walk around in a gorilla-like manner
with my arms hanging low. I don’t know why, but I didn’t do it
anyhow. So then I made a beeline for a specific section. There was
this girl, vaguely Asian, and at first I thought she worked there
due to the ease with which she greeted and then began to follow
me. She walked alongside me, to my right, and I noticed straight-
away that she was purposely walking beside me.
“What’s your name?” She asked.

“Tendon.”
“What?”
I repeated myself, “Tendon.”
“MY name is Tendon!” she responded.
“No it isn’t! There’s no way. I don’t know of anyone else with that
name so it’s not possible that I actually found someone else with
it.”
Then she went and started to look up her music on her phone.
Meanwhile two other girls were with us and were looking up MY
music on my phone and one said my last name out loud and I
shushed her because I didn’t want the other “Tendon” to hear
and then steal my last name too, hahaha.
That’s when that psychologist showed up and harassed one of

the girls I was with so I got him and pushed him away and I’m
like “What the hell man, what happened to you. I stood up for
you.” And he wandered off sadly. Then I told the girls I stood up
for him previously because I liked his psychological work, but he
turned out to be such a hateful and misguided man and I was sad
that I gave him the benefit of the doubt even when others around
me already seemed to know that he was no good.
It was at this point that Christine begins to play het video on a

nearby television, and as soon as the music begins to play I know
what it is. I know I’ve heard it in a dream before. I know that
this is deja vu. I know she’s come back. And when she sees that
I remember her she gets so excited and starts attempting to set
up a way for us to converse in waking life via the radio, because
apparently she’s been trying to speak with me for years. She was
so emotional and eager to have gotten a hold of me once more.
I accidentally turned the station right in the last moments of her

message so I missed some crucial information, since I was at-
tempting to get a clearer reception but it turned to another sta-
tion and I got so upset. She was already gone now, back in her
radio dimension or whatever, and those other two girls went off
with her, apparently being her lackeys or whatever.
Something happening long long ago in the dream before all the
above stuff... I remember sitting in the computer room in Pine
Hill and my mother handed me what remained of the mixed
nuts or special trail mix but she had eaten everything about the
almonds and walnuts and so I was like dammit and I’m sitting
there at my old desk sitting there sifting through the nuts not
finding anything I wanted. Not sure what I was looking for,
though.
Long long before this in my dream, perhaps right after or before

the mixed nuts part, I was in my room with my acoustic guitar
singing some 80’s AOR song and I was doing the harmonies in
this really awesome way for my stripped down acoustic version I
was recording. The low voice was really raspy in my typical way,
a little demonic, and then my high harmonies to emulate the girl
were very smooth and the whole thing sounded so good and I
was excited but timid to record it since I hadn’t recorded in so
long.
RUNAWAY GUITARIST
At the end my father and I were driving hurriedly back to the
concert venue where I had played minutes earlier. But some bat-
tery had died so I threw my guitar off mid song and we all took
off to a store. But then I got sidetracked looking at masks and
started bringing up atheist quotes, but then we realized we need-
ed to get back to the venue and I wish we hadn’t delayed so long
because I hoped they still hadn’t moved on because I was like
‘how triumphant that would be if they had been standing there
roaring for ten minutes after I left randomly and then I get back
to a feedbacking guitar and starting playing again.’
In the final moments of the dream I was sitting there trying to

measure the typical length of my dream based on the music I lis-
ten to in the dream. Katatonia was playing on the car stereo and
it was the start of the final song on the album so I knew that
we were past the thirty minute mark. Definitely not accurate in
terms of real life but at the time I thought it was. So I figured my
dreams are probably thirty six minutes long on average.
What the hell was all the stuff with the concert though. Why
was I playing on stage. And I think I was just the guitarist. What
band was it. More happened earlier on but I forget.
2320
THE PSYCHO KILLER
There was this murderer, a psycho, and he had just done some-
thing horrible, which appeared in the paper. Towards the end, as
the guy was returning the bathrooms, he sat near the chair in one
lobby but then on the way back saw everyone reading the newest
newspaper with a look of disgust on their faces and I knew it
meant that they had read about the guy’s deeds. From what I
gather, that is also why the guy was present. He wanted to see
how everyone responded to what happened. It was unrealistic in
that sense, because what was forcing people in a public place to
respond to some article?
I remember when I first saw them sitting on the chair by the re-
strooms reading a newspaper. It was like I recognized them from
a previous dream. Then a few minutes later I screamed “IT’S
THEM! THEY’RE THE MURDERER!” and they glared at
me for a moment as if deciding what to do. Would they play it
cool and act as if it wasn’t true, or panic and come after me. After
about three seconds of silence and a growing glare, they leapt up
from their seat and launched themselves at me. I was relying on
people and police to arrive for me in time, so I had waited until
the most crowded time of the night. Fortunately they got the guy
domesticated, and then I remember sitting in the parking lot and
he was in the cop car next to mine and glaring at me and saying
what he’d do to me when he gets out.
At the end I heard an interview with the guy, but now it was be-
ing painted up as a girl. It was in the paper and apparently recent-
ly the school that they were at had called them out on something
horrible and they just stood there before the class without any
action of conscience and ultimately got expelled. Then they had
2321
some weird interview where they commented about things they

wanted to do and said something about violently abusing a dis-
figured child, or something something something.
AGENT INEVITABLE
My dad fixed up my room and had three little CD-ROM albums
waiting for me. I remember some of the track titles. “They’ll
Keep On Laughing” was the last song appearing on the first al-
bum. “Agent Inevitable” was the first song appearing on the sec-
ond album. The second album was on some Corel Draw 1995
disc or something like it.
What happened between me and the girl before this? This was in
Londonberry by the way. The rec room. But before it was the rec
room it was a store, which is where I met the girl. And my fam-
ily was there as well. But I was talking with this girl in the store.
Then we all went back to my Londonberry house.
That crazy fly that sounded like an alarm when I got too close to
it. This was after we noticed some drunk little elf or some such
was hiding beneath the Christmas tree in the room. And I com-
manded it to come out at once. It vanished from its spot. And
that’s when I saw the fly. But I had no idea if the fly was related.
After a few minutes I went into the utility room to find the girl
standing there, and there was a guy as well. They looked larger
than before, whatever that means. I brought them both together
in a three way hug and told them I love them. Then they came
out of the rec room into the family room and said goodbye to my
family. My family didn’t seem to know how to respond, because
they thought they disappeared. But apparently there was a bit of
foul play going on. I looked at the girl at the very end and said
“This isn’t the last time that you and I will meet.”
Uncle Jamie was over, I remember. And whenever I was around

him I felt like I behaved immaturely. But when I was apart from
him I behaved coolly.
2323
SPIRIT PHOTOGRAPHY
My mother, Asia and I were sitting in the yard. My mother and I
were near where the living room window is. While my sister was
near the play set fort sandbox area. And my sister at one point
commented about how she was atheist. And I saw my mom jolt.
My sister was using it as a reason for why she wouldn’t do some-
thing. And then I said “Well, I’m an atheist as well, but I’m sort
of a mystic atheist, as odd as that sounds, so I’m not as closed off
to the unknown,” or I said something to that effect, although I’m
not sure exactly what I was referring to.
It was around dusk, so there was a nice sunset in the sky. We were
near the playsets in the yard, but there was this giant swing or
something, and I remember getting on it after the others got off,
and I don’t know if it was ill-advised or what. But I remember
my sister making some comments, and then I started randomly
yelling At the Drive-In lyrics while swinging on this enormous
contraption which took me high into the air.
I think JM was in it early on. Yeah he was. When we were at

some camp. Okay, yeah. This was between the mother/asia part
and the bunk bed part. I was in some tent setting something up.
JM was talking about some pop psychology and I was surprised
that he was into that.
This was after that part where I left the building. I had to go out
and get something, and there were all these adults sitting at an
outdoor table, and I lit two cigarettes at once for some reason.
Then I asked my mother for my iPod back, but what she handed
me seemed like her iPod mini, and she slid it to me on the floor.
I feel like this was what she was referring to later on when saying
she was coming to get what’s hers. But at that time I specifically
2324
remember her referring to some remote of which I was in posses-

sion.
So I’m walking down the sidewalk of this mall area smoking two
cigarettes—not simultaneously but alternatingly.
I wandered around in the large Candler’s Mountain-esque park-

ing lot searching for my car, and I remember that couple on the
sidewalk who I was unable to pass. Formidable, very tall black
guy and his white girlfriend. Couldn’t get past them to the right.
But they were just formidable for some reason. Tried to pass but
almost got stuck and I just fell back behind then again.
Couldn’t find the her (???) in the parking lot
Later when we were in bunk beds in this church camp style

room, I remember this song kept playing. At first I thought it was
someone else playing it. And I was enjoying it. But then it came
on when I did something and I realized it may have been me the
whole time, transmitting the song to a bluetooth speaker at the
foot of one of the beds which had connected to my phone. And
I was like uh oh I’m going to get in trouble, people are trying to
sleep.
The song that I kept accidentally posting through my bluetooth

speaker while laying in bed and I was worried others were going
to say something about it but they didn’t. Because it played twice
while everyone was trying to sleep and it was quite loud. I had
that big chart on my bed that listed things. And among those
things, toward the bottom, I remember that it said Tom and Jer-
ry, referring to the cat and mouse. Then as I was falling asleep my
mother’s voice came into my head with that creepy line. And I
was thoroughly scared, and I dared look toward the entryway of
the hall knowing she could appear at any moment. Her face in
the dark. Like a demon coming for me. And I was terrified to en-
counter her.
When in bed previously I stared at the open door for so long

she ther she would appear. I was terrified. And I’m still getting
shivers thinking about the image. I knew I was in a dream and I
expected my focus to bring it about even more certainly. But it
didn’t. I never saw my mother. Even though in my thoughts I saw
a creepy imaginative scene of her showing up. And I was sure I’d
encounter her in the darkness, where none of the light switches
worked.
At the end of the dream I left my bed to wander around in the

dark of the house. Down the hallways and stairs. It was dark and
none of the lights were doing much if anything at all. Just like
adding 10% more light. And I was scared of encountering my
mother because while laying in my bunk bed I had just heard her
say something angry in my mind... something angry about me
not giving her what’s hers and how she was coming to take it. I
was sharing this room with a bunch of guys because it was like a
youth retreat or something.
After the light wasn’t working I thought I would try the front
door. So I tried it but it was sooo confusing. The outer layers
had to be pulled off. The doors I mean. By outer layers I guess
I just mean that there were two sets of doors. The first of which
were like these super heavy security shutters. But then the doors
underneath were to be pushed. I didn’t know that at first and
thought the under doors had no way to open and I freaked out
momentarily. Once I finally learned to push them, I was shocked
to see they it was bright outside. Then as I began to open the
door I saw something that notified me that once I left this house
my photo would be taken by ‘spirit photography’ to alert the
principals. It was basically crossing into an afterlife. And it was

extraordinarily creepy but I decided to go.
At the end, when the spirit photography part came about, I re-
member once I opened the door I was seeing myself from an-
other angle, like from the lens of a nearby camera, and it was a
very weird moment as I was essentially deciding whether to cross
over to the next life or not. I needed the light. And I was so sur-
prised that it was still light outside, when it was so dark inside,
and everyone was asleep. The door opening scene seemed to take
so long and it was made creepier by the fact that I was SURE my
mother would get me.
THE RUSSIAN
There as a part very early on in the hotel where I beat someone,
who was like Noah. Something weird happened between us. I
whipped him accidentally or he did me. And we had to apolo-
gize but it was all okay and then we went out with everyone else
to get food. So hard to remember, I don’t think these specifics are
accurate at all. Just a vague sense of one of us did something to
the other that was shitty but accidental.
I was in a cafeteria. What happened when I was in the cafeteria

though. I feel like I was sitting there with Annie at a table. Star-
ing across the way when I noticed Poppop. And I’m like uh oh.
And I knew the rest of my family was around. And she was say-
ing it’s not a problem, but I was annoyed anyway. We had had a
rough night from what I recall, trying to sleep in my old Lon-
donberry room but I think it was supposed to be a hotel we were
renting when my parents showed up.
This came before the scene with my grandparents earlier where I

was singing in the dark the Pokémon theme song and when the
lights came back on everyone was gone and I was like “Shit, did
no one hear me sing?” Because I thought I was being funny.
Then I went walking down the dark hallway in search of my fam-

ily and all of the others who had been presented. There were
many rooms, presumably bathrooms. The lights were on, so I fig-
ured they were occupied. Then all the bathroom doors would
suddenly close when I got close to them. Even if you left and
came back, it would repeat, opening back up and then closing
when I got close. So after I noticed what was going on I started
opening them and they were empty. Though they made them
seem as if they were always full.
2328
I lost my hat while walking back. I didn’t know I lost it, but I
found it on the couch when I returned to the room and I was like
wait, have I not been wearing my hat?
Wait, earlier there were those two girls sitting in that area and we
were talking about Carl Jung and I was having to explain things
to them and I was hoping they’d ask what I do so I could say “oh
I’m a psychologist myself.”
Okay so in that earlier part. I was walking through this weird

area, almost felt like Storybook Land from what I can recall of it.
I passed this corner on the path, where the was a girl I think she
was trying to get something from a vending machine or cubby or
something and I helped her out. So then we got food I think in
this spot. Sat down. And there was this other girl with us. And
I was answering their questions about something. That’s when
Carl Jung came up somehow. She was studying for school. And
I think I saw his name in something she was reading and I go
“Oooh nice. Do you like him?” But she didn’t really know any-
thing about him. I told her I had only read one of his books and
don’t read much, but I explained how he brought the metaphysi-
cality and spirituality into the field of psychology and how it was
really unlike the work of his peers at the time, and how I can re-
late in terms of my interests which are simultaneously scientific
and spiritual.
Then the girl and I went around walking for a while. There may
have been some type of intimacy or romance. I remember being
outside and I was being taken around the parking lot as I was get-
ting ready to go. And someone by the car wanted to thank me for
some mythology I wrote that they said was the most helpful to
black people and how I’ve done something wonderful for their
community and I was so touched. We were standing by the trunk
of their car. But then I got accidentally attached to the next per-
son in line to say goodbye to them, another girl, I got wrapped
around her leg, like a shoelace or something weird got stuck on
her leg.
So I’m standing outside trying to remember my phone number.

Now that I’m that I’m awake I remember that I gave her my so-
cial security but I didn’t know at the time while I was dreaming.
Then she went to walk about in front of the building. I asked
where she was going. I tried to write my number on napkins and
notebook paper but kept encountering problems. Not writing it
neat enough. Or couldn’t find blank pages in book. Or couldn’t
remember it.
I tried like five or six times to write it down and other people
were standing around baffled at my inability to write it. People
were just watching me and then tried to help me. And then when
I finally remembered it and was able to write it (and I now know
it was my social security number, but in my dream it was my
phone number) she started to walk up to the steps... since this
looked like the old church parking lot.. and I’m like ‘wait, where
are you going, I’ve got my number for you’. And she’s staring
into the door, like she sees something. And then we both saw the
Russian setting up a table in the middle of the hallway. So then I
joined her as she walked in. And he saw us and was so glad. Like
“ahhh you guys are here. I wasn’t expecting that.”
Then she went inside and there was a man behind a table setting
up in a hall way and she was like “no way.” And it was some Russ-
ian revolutionary guy, kinda thin and not too tall. Apparently he
was someone we were supposed to meet later but we didn’t know
he would be arriving now. So he was so excited to see her and I.
He was like “This is great!” He was our age. Strangely. He was
glad that I was there and knew who I was from what the girl had
told him of me and referenced some funny experience where I
was apparently in a hotel the night before and had some problem
where my wife was screaming. I said “My sister, probably.” But
then I was like “Oh wait, I do have a wife. Yes.” And I remem-
bered the story, where me and my wife were staying in this crap-
py place and the beds were awful and my parents were in the next
room and she was screaming, not like in horror but because the
situation was crazy and chaotic. Apparently I had told the girl I
was with and she told this guy the story. But I also thought she
was that girl.
The Russian was happy to see us but he never really looked at me

or spoke to me directly or asked me anything and I was kinda
annoyed. I wanted to make questions. He was happy though be-
cause he was like “I didn’t expect to get started so fast. Now we’ve
already got a basic team.” So we all went and sat down in a hall-
way. That’s when he made the comments about my wife scream-
ing in the hotel, which he kind of made to the girl I was with
instead of directly to me. And I opened up my phone and went
to Instagram after he made a comment as if he had known me
for some time and then I went “Wait, do you manage this Insta-
gram account?” and I forget the username but it had a bunch of
masks sitting out in nature. Like devil masks. And he goes “Yeah,
that’s me.” And I go “Oh, okay, yeah I’ve been following that for
weeks.” I didn’t want to tell him that I’ve been into all of this
stuff only for weeks. And I remember thinking in my mind how
only weeks ago I knew nothing but then suddenly I’m running
dungeons and dragons type games where I’m the guy people are
asking for help as if I know a ton.
The Russian knew I was in the Comprachicos and may have even
referenced it a couple times. Because he knew I was a part of that
group and that’s why he was happy to be working with me. I was
so put off by the fact that he wouldn’t really speak to me directly
or look at me though and kept going through the girl to get to
me.
Who was the girl I met after the cafeteria part? Annie was gone
at this point. Was that who they were referring to as my wife?
And I remember being regretful and embarrassed because I was
really attracted to this other girl, so when the Russian brought it
up, there was just sense of “oh, that’s right, I’m married. Shit...”
Because me and that girl had been getting along well. I believe it
was one of the girls from the Jung part. I forget what we had been
up to. But yeah, at the end someone was coming to pick me up
so I was trying to give her my phone number.
The ending scene was the weirdest of all, because m the three of
us—me, the girl and the Russian, and maybe some other peo-
ple—had gone INTO another room where we were all unwind-
ing. And we’re just kinda laying there on a couch or something
while anticipating some big event the next day. And by my feet
was the Russian and the girl. And I was trying not to look. But
he was laying on her or by her in a really romantic manner, cud-
dling, and it was very upsetting to me. And I was trying not to
look, and I was especially trying not to let her see that I was
looking. But I remember while I was peeking, and he was kiss-
ing her arm or something, with his eyes glance, she was glancing
back at me and there was this really sad silence between us. This
stare that I won’t forget. Because we had fallen for one another.
And so this was a weird moment. And I remember wanted to say
“At least I remembered my phone number...” but I didn’t. That’s
when I woke up, as we were staring at each other. It was such a
weird scene.
ZOMBIE CABIN
I was hiding within that cabin with that girl because something
was going on outside that called zombies to us, as in they were
all alerted to our location and would inevitably find their way to
us. Meanwhile I was showing her a prog rock playlist. Unfortu-
nately the zombies could still open the doors if they tried hard
enough though not completely and when one showed up I beat
it down with a baseball bat and it was in pieces. And I remember
a chunk of meat containing its eye ending up by the girl and that
freaked her out real bad and I felt bad that she saw that, although
she didn’t seem particularly freaked out before that happened.
I thought zombies all showed up in twos and when no more

came up we decided we could go outside if we were careful al-
though the alert was still on.
Then after leaving the building and looking left I saw two mer-
maid-like women sitting on the nearby water bank with a small
channel separating us so I walked over and called to then. But
there were these horrible metallic armored fishmen like things
standing with them. Two of them. And one of them came out of
the water and walked toward me and the girl. I held up my bat to
try and defend against its harpoon. But then my girl called to it,
and when she did so, the armored fish man turned into some sort
of merchant and tried to sell us something. And we had to turn
it down. This is where I woke up. I forget what happened before
the zombie part.
Okay, the early parts of the dream involved a nasty conflict with
my father.
2333
NO ONE WILL BELIEVE YOU
I was at my old church, where a crazy rock band was playing a
concert—apparently their second here in a month. So I showed
up. Sat across the aisle from my grandparents on the right hand
side of the worship hall. They were surprised to see me. After
a while of sitting by myself inborn of those side aisles at the
very side of the room. I went and sat by them. My parents were
there at one point but went out into the lobby and may have
left. I forget why. I remember Poppop trying to make small talk.
And tried to ask me “Once didn’t you tell me about a song
called “Our Very Tetragrammaton Something?” But he massa-
cred every single word. I began laughing hysterically, “Tetra-
grammaton? Yes.” and I saw the guy in front of me, who couldn’t
help but overhear us talking, starts laughing quietly to himself he
sure nothing that my grandfather said sounded like Tetragram-
maton, and Poppop was then trying to tell me about the scrip-
tures associated with and it was tiring. The concert was starting
and it was very weird. The singer was walking around among the
audience. Wearing costumes. Like a golden silk robe. Or giving
the mic to some plant individual in the audience who then pre-
tended to be him at the start of the show even though it was a
dud mic and the singer was singing from elsewhere.
Buffy or pebbles were wandering around on the floor by my feet

so I called the dog over and petted them, they were happy to see
me. Then I moved between nanny and Poppop and there was a
girl sitting in front of me and another close by on my left hand
side. But they were in our pew, in my legroom. And she was just
staring at me with this obnoxious stare. The girls were being hor-
rible and up to no good. Couldn’t have been any older than five
or six. But they were saying and Eli nth things trying to get rid of
2334
me leave. Like outright saying “go away” and so I was like “YOU
go away” and I started getting mildly aggressive. And then she
said “no one will believe you,” and I just walked back to the side
where I was sitting earlier. And I was so pissed at what happened.
And I’m repeating their words to myself “No one will believe
you... how horrible to be speaking such words at such a young
age. Is this what the church is teaching kids...” But I worried that
I would get kicked out for sounding so disgruntled and talking
out loud so I quieted down and then I woke up.
POLITICS
Mom and I got in that fight in the New Jersey living room, where
she called my father and was whining and telling him about what
happened and then I said something vocally about how she was
completely misrepresenting what had happened and then she
hung up the phone and I wondered if the message would actual-
ly send. And then we had that political debate where she talked
about how Trump never did anything wrong and I got so angry
at her. Then I went into the utility room and spoke to Asia while
listening to music in a samurai suit.
2336
MISERY IN THE KITCHEN
There was something having to do with Alex K. I was in my bed-
room and opening my window and he came up through my win-
dow or I climbed out into my yard, in Pine Hill, and we were
going to do something, but it didn’t end up happening like we
planned. Like, I went and traveled way too far, by car. I don’t
know, that part was kind hard to figure out.
Then I went to visit some girl. I was in that bedroom getting

ready to watch a movie or something. I had taken all the skittles
from the kitchen and hid them under the blanket, so the teenage
son kept coming in and was suspicious because he was looking
for them. I was with a girl, his older sister, and even though we
seemed to be the same age it also seemed like something was off
and she was implied to be older.
That kept getting interrupted and we never got to turn on the

movie. Eventually we went into the kitchen and helped with
dishes, but the kitchen was made in a super weird way because
it lacked a floor in some places, and I was skating around while
the rest of the family was there. And there was a several aisles of
clothing on racks on the middle of the room almost like a maze,
and when I went inside of all those racks, at the center of the
set up was a dog or some animal. I found out when wandering
through
Before the end party part I was standing around in the deck or
driveway of some house. It was like a mix between the girls house
that I was just at and Nanny and Poppop’s old house. I think this
is where they merged. And I had a karaoke machine and I was
singing very loudly and I was amazed at how good I sounded so
2337
I was waiting on the other guy that I was with to come out and
hear it.
We were all at an party at nanny and poppops house. It was New

Jersey though. Lots of people there. I kept wandering in and out
from outside. They had to rearrange their kitchen to accommo-
date some rearrangement so the shelves looked cool and I was
gonna go compliment them on how it all looked. But that’s when
everyone was sitting down to dinner, and it was weird because
they were passing a mic around and I didn’t understand the pur-
pose. People were just giving brief statements and since I couldn’t
understand the common link between all of them I just said
pass or no comment when the microphone got put in my face
and everyone looked at me like I wasn’t allowed to do that and
the guy just held the mic there until my mom whispered to talk
about my misery
At the end we were all sitting around outside on some deck. It

was nighttime but the deck was illuminated by little string lights
and possible candles or tiki torches, like some sort of celebration.
They were passing around a microphone from person to person
and everyone would make a comment relating to whatever we
were celebrating. When the microphone reached me I shook my
head and tried to pass it along, but my mother, who was sitting
next to me, wouldn’t allow it. “I don’t want to,” I said in a raspy
whisper, which was picked up in the microphone. “You have to.
Just say anything. Just say you’re tired and miserable.” And I re-
spond with “If I want to talk about my misery in the kitchen
I’m an asshole; but if I want to talk about it in a microphone
it’s thanksgiving.” And everyone started laughing. The ceremony
was eventually over and everyone was mingling. At the very end
I went and looked at the baby who was clipped to the back of the
nearby chair in a weird way and I was thinking I would do the
“whoooaaaaaa” thing Uncle Jamie used to do to me when I was a

baby, as a way to pass on intergenerational inside jokes. But yeah,
it was my mom that had a new baby and not Asia, which seemed
kind of weird. I guess there was just this expectation that this was
Asia’s ceremony, but it was for my mother
WONDROUS BOAT RIDE
I was out on my deck shouting across the way to these famous
musicians who were loading up the truck in the next house over.
We were carrying on conversations about touring and collabora-
tions and they were really nice guys and seemed to like me. Not
until I went inside and looked at their Spotify monthly listeners
count did I realize quite how popular they were.
Then I went in and grabbed some leftovers. I grabbed some left-

over rice dish from a Japanese restaurant and some other thing
that I threw in the bowl which had some tomato sauce and didn’t
really mix well with the other dish. I took it all outside and ate it
on the deck. Then I came back in and grabbed a cherry poptart
or two.
When I came back inside my dad was standing in the kitchen

and he, also, took a poptart, and I was a little annoyed because
there were so few things that I eat and I imagined he’d eat them
all. Then Asia came through talking about fixing some device
and I remember feeling I hadn’t seen her in a while. I think I
mentioned those musicians to her to see if she had heard of them
At some point I was taking a long boat ride through a tunnel. It

was like long ferry and I was in the very back and center There
were about five or six people to each row. I kept wanting to make
a Willy Wonka joke and start singing the Wondrous Boat Ride
song, but the girl to my left was talking to some guy, and the girl
to my right was talking to some guy. So I kept getting ready to
start the song, but every time I did no one was looking or paying
attention and it sucked, as I kept missing out on the best time.
“There’s no earthly way of knowing...” Especially when we went
through a dark tunnel
2340
Eventually the girl on my right turns to me and says “You said

you can read Greek, right?”
“Like texts? Yeah?”
And she said “No, like people, like you can tell they’re Greek.”
“Oh, okay.”
And she was implying that the guy she was talking to was Greek
and that I had previously guessed it, so I was like ooohh. We
talked for a few minutes longer and I tried to bust out the won-
drous boat ride song but it didn’t catch on, and so we just chit-
chatted.
Then the girl to my left starts getting weird and asks “Why aren’t
you ever talking to anyone?”
And I said “I’ve been talking to that other girl for the last ten
minutes, what are you on about?” and she laughed because I
guess she was kidding. Then she and I start up a conversation, but
it was more nonsensical. She was just being silly. She was Indian.
At the end I was gonna say something about how this would be a
crazy place for a baby to be conceived but then I declined, think-
ing that might be taken the wrong way.
Then I returned to my home and went and grabbed another

cherry poptart from the cabinet. By now the box was almost
empty so I just took it with me. The guy I had been chatting with
on my computer, who looked like Dominic, was still on video
from before, despite the fact that I had been gone, and he was
doing crazy karate moves on the monitor in my bedroom. It was
really wild and I was laughing.
MUGGER
I was out walking with two of my friends when we got jumped.
I was able to avoid the initial attack but I decided to get in on
it after figuring out the best way to do so and I ended up taking
down the attackers. It was like a video game. The angle. The me-
ters. And afterwards I went and watched some comedy special
about being mugged.
I recorded some podcasts. Then I got sent to my bed early by my

father but I wasn’t ready for bed yet. So I came out and I got
really mad. Saying I’m not going to be told when to go to bed
as an adult when my body decides that for me. And I got real-
ly upset with him. I told him I never wanted to hit someone so
badly as in this moment. And I tried to work myself up to hit
him. I blamed it on him being wimpy and not teaching any of us
to defend ourselves. I said I wanted to see him come down like
“Goliath, the crude Philistine and enemy of God”. I really went
at him. And eventually he just walked away, since he was busy
cleaning around the house or something with Asia. So then Asia
mentions that she watched one of my videos and I asked which
one.
2342
DOZER
That dead fish that was attached to me in the pool. It may not
have been dead but it was attached to my foot in a weird way,
like it was going through me, and maybe laying eggs in me. And
I didn’t know what to do since I didn’t want to harm it.
I was laying in bed when the guy came in to read his poem, and I
dozed off several times during it but once I realized he was done I
told him that my dozing made it even better and more dreamlike
since at first he might have looked slightly upset and offended by
my dozing.
I then went to get water from the fridge and it accidentally

dripped down onto a pizza box on a lower shelf, because it was
like a push button water dispenser.
My dad said “Do you remember that thing we were scraping? We

thought it was x but it was orange juice.” There had been moldy
grass looking substance on the top of an orange juice box and we
scraped it off the night before thinking the box was something
else, so we were surprised to find that this is what it was.
Then I asked about food. He had ordered pizzas while I was

asleep and I was tempted but I was looking for other things. The
cherry muffins in the cabinet that the guy wanted to make but
didn’t want to eat a whole box just because it might make him el-
igible to win something. It was a box of mix that we had to make
ourselves.
2343
LIGHTNING PACK
My father was chasing me down the hallway into Asia’s room. It
had something to do with shirts or some clothes which my father
wouldn’t allow me to wear, so I kept trying to put it on out of
sight or something. Not quite, but this part is hard to describe.
Once in her room I was looking at the figurines. On the shelves

and the posters in a bin. She had a lot of Aladdin posters and
I was going to ask her if I could borrow them next time she
came back and use them in my downstairs hallway. But then I re-
arranged the figurines to look like I had never been in the room
because my presence looked obvious. So I remember setting up
these four vehicle toys on a shelf. But they kept rolling forward.
So I had to turn the mystery machine sideways.
I was wearing this backpack that would attract lightning, which

he was forcing me to wear, so I was trying to sit on the toilet
so that if lightning struck then it would blow up and take us all
down and not just me (that was my logic anyway).
Then I went out and my mom was sitting at the computer and I
cried out about how she was judging my issues and thinking she
could just question and add to the pain that I was in and she was
being utterly heartless. And I told her that recent weeks had been
some of the fondest I’d been of her, since she seemed to be behav-
ing more sensibly, but she’s thrown it all away in favor of being
horrible.
At the end I was creating some weird surreptitious plot to get

some fake home group started at church. I was telling these peo-
ple to start a fake home group if they want to get people into
their house for some reason. And there was something to do
2344
with having a false background for some reason. Like they would
go out and take a picture of their surroundings. And then it
would match up with the foreground all weird. It was fake and
no one knew it. I forget what it was all about.
SWINGSET
Earlier on in the dream there was something to do with Pine
Hill, Uncle Jamie and my father, and likely Asia. I remember
speaking with Asia and then I wandered off in this place which
is where I took a seat and started randomly speaking with a girl.
I forget how we met. There was a lot of stuff at the beginning

when we first met that was cute. I wish I could remember more
of that and how it happened. Especially when we were just sitting
in that place at the bottom of the hill, in that little private area,
staring at one another and holding these discussions. I wasn’t
particularly interested in her immediately but I became so pretty
quickly. She definitely had a unique look. At first I wasn’t even
certain that she was a girl due to her androgynous look and hair-
cut. Very small chested. I remember there were two times when
she leaned over toward me that I could see her breasts since she
didn’t seem to be wearing a bra, but I tried not to stare. Later on
when she changed her shirt even more so.
I remember discussing music or something at one point, or

something I was good at, like music or writing, and I brought to
my work, albeit loosely. I think this is around the time my father
showed up so I felt embarrassed to keep talking about it openly.
I remember my dad was there at one point, and I remember he
seemed intrigued that I was sitting with a girl. That’s when she
got up, and so I followed her across the street and up the hill in-
to the city center, sort of like a college campus on a hill. At first I
was just changing my seat to the other side of the fountain area,
which had a stone bench wrapping all the way around.
When she said she needed to speak to someone in yellow it

seemed like there was someone who she wanted to meet, which
2346
was triggered by something I said in our conversations, like “Oh,

then you totally need to meet this person.” But then it didn’t lead
to that.
Then she ran and said she was going to quickly meet someone,
casually mentioning they wore a yellow shirt, and she ran up into
the city center. After several minutes I followed after her want-
ing to see if I could see. But then I wandered around and got to
a big slide, where at the bottom I saw the girl who was now back
down by the playground and some other person who was with us
earlier. So I went down the slide at a fast speed and as I hit the
bottom I made an “Ooooof ” noise which, due to how I was sit-
ting, made it seem to them like I had banged my crotch on the
bottom of the slide, causing them to wince, but I didn’t actually
hurt myself. Just a weird little detail. I was fine though.
And after I came down the slide, where I found she had gone up
to see her mother, and she laughed coyly like she had been found
out, and I was like “Ooh, you’re one of those people who never
gives a straight or honest answer about what you’re going to do.”
The two of us sat on the swing set for most of the dream.
I remember I asked her if she wanted to keep doing what we’re

doing or if she wanted to do something else. This is when I got
off the swing.
But after I asked her if she wanted to do something else, she got
a change in tone and said “No, not since last May.” I think that
she mistook what I was saying and saw it as me wanting to be in-
timate with her or to take our relationship to the next level. So
then she began talking about a previous boy she liked. He was
unstable and built explosives, and I asked if this was the same one
she had told me about earlier in a different context. The first time
this guy came up was before the yellow person part.
Oh around the time in the playground when she alluded to May.

I think she thought I wanted to be her boyfriend or otherwise
get intimate with her. And she wasn’t comfortable with that and
let me know or hinted that she didn’t do that anymore. A com-
ment was then made about how something I did or was was
very manly, and I corrected myself saying “Noooo, I’m very girly.
You can ask anyone who’s ever known me. I’m very girly,” joking
about how I’m not a very masculine individual in the traditional
sense.
And the two of them were laughing—both her and the random
little boy that was sometimes with us. Then I went to tell her a
story that happened when I was younger which went along with
what I was saying, but I fumbled to find the proper date and I
kept saying things like “This was when I was fifteen, so 2025...
no... 2015 when I was twenty five... no...” and I got hung up on
the date, causing her to get up and wander off into the nearby
restaurant before I finished my story, and I was slightly offend-
ed. I followed after her nevertheless. She started drinking, turned
into a man, not super masculine but just more a young male in
his early twenties or so. She wanted to do karaoke and was being
coarse and abusive, so I went to leave, but she wouldn’t let me.
Then they turned into a drunk man that wanted to do karaoke

and I was upset, so I left. When they saw that I was leaving, they
chased after me with a bottle. I made it out of the room just in
time, but the doorway was very narrow. I felt bad.
The dream concluded with this strange little scene which seemed
to be from many years in the future, where that girl never forgave
me for leaving and never coming to see them and continued to
badmouth me, while I continued to buy their art on eBay. Or

possibly this whole scene was just an allusion to another two
people to which we were somehow similar. It was strange in any
case.
THE POUND
The school rooms had become mere pounds. Collection of col-
lections. Pits and valleys filled with Cages. It was so creepy to be
walking through this long prison-like room with piss all over the
floor. And that’s when some little animals began to chase me. I
had an option to defend myself. But what do I use? What could
I use? I used this doll that I had with me, a bunny. But defeating
the attacking animal, small and white, was easy, because all I had
to do was say “I don’t want that one. I want this one,” and the an-
imal fell away.
My mother was one of the wardens apparently.
Afterwards I was walking through a better area with my bunny

doll and its eye was cracked in two places from bite marks.
Then the intro to the television show that I was apparently in

played. It was a new intro, showing the voice actors among the
people along with the characters they voiced.
I should have known that this episode was coming based on the
intro, which was different, and recent episodes had been getting
more gritty and confrontational. Like the scene before this was
that part where I confronted my mother, who quoted my music
to me during a fight. And I became enraged that she had heard
my stuff, and she kept saying my dad is a feeler and she’s not.
But then when they would give examples of feeling in their lives
they would name fears. And so I was shouting “Those aren’t feel-
ings. Those are fears!”. Meanwhile we’re still in this post apoc-
alyptic human pound. I was willing to entertain this nonsense
long enough. But then my mom responded to something I said
by quoting a line from my songs which she said she would nev-
2350
er listen to. Something which was pertinent. And I believe it was

from Cry But Why. So I freaked out. And then I had her thrown
away. And it was represented by this dog being thrown down in-
to this chute where it was likely to die. And I turned to my dad
crying. Now that the dog wasn’t viable to live. Because it was so
maimed. And I said “I wish that at each point that I appeared be-
fore this dog I could have looked at it and said that ‘This, right
now, is the best your life will ever be again.” And it was such a
creepy thing to say because every time I came around things got
so much worse for it until I finally just tossed it into a trash dis-
posal thing.
Then at the end of this scene my mom mentions some woman,

and I say I don’t know who that is. And she said “You’re assis-
tant?”And I’m like “no I don’t have one.” And she goes “oh I
thought this was someone who you know, because she’s coming
to such and such.” And for some reason this was propitious be-
cause this attractive Brazilian girl was going to be present and
meeting with me soon. So suddenly I run galloping through the
aisles, with John maybe on my back? Through aisles of men while
singing this weird Brazilian song and galloping like a horse. Then
I crawled down on my hands and feet, with John behind me,
through this tiny tunnel. And there were all these GBA car-
tridges scattered on the side like someone spilled them while
crawling and John was picking them up. So we were talking
about them while crawling. I commented about Pokémon. Then
when we got out through the crawling tunnel, we were in this
outdoor area with these people, and they were talking about
some social media platforms, I think it was called Crunch and I
made a reference to the word “ningen” which supposedly relat-
ed to this Crunch platform? But when asked about what I was
talking about I’m like “hell I don’t know. I’m not from this time.
I’m from the MySpace generation.” So I just remember standing
around talking to these people before waking up. Not sure what
I was doing.
A while earlier, at the beginning, I remember being in a zany

brainy store and a nice campus before things started getting
weird and apocalyptic. And then I was wandering these class-
rooms underground and came upon the cage rooms which was
the creepiest of all, because people were just trying to get by, but
the schools now looked like dog pounds. And It was so large with
so many rooms. And I was so wary of being spotted by any of
the people there. Students or teachers. Because everyone has re-
gressed to becoming animal-like. And that’s when that little ani-
mal came after me. But it was sort of like a doll. Not very threat-
ening in its own right then though I was threatened.
GUNFIGHTER
Jeiezza would take every opportunity to strip down to her swim-
suit. And we were just spending lots of time in these beachy ar-
eas. I really wanted to head back onto the road. But at the end
she told me she wanted to stay another day in Richmond, feeling
like we hadn’t explored its potential enough. And I was like “We
spent several weeks here just one month ago!” Then she went be-
hind this large wooden wall, where she was all playful and calling
me over in a bikini.
Then we both went into this abandoned bar building, where we

accidentally stumbled upon some sort of conflict. It was an aban-
doned saloon or something of that sort but also vaguely resem-
bled the layout of Charldon. Jeiezza came in with me at first but
then I went back in for a half hour by myself. That long talk
with that murderer in the abandoned building. Asking him if he
needed our help. Forget how we summoned him. That guy killed
one of the guys in the building where we met up. Just random-
ly. Like “Hey, you owe me something,” and the guy refused so he
was like BOOM.
There was much more to it that I don’t recall. I got reeeally dizzy
after a while. Tired and dizzy and my eyes were turning every
which way. And I told the guy more about myself and asked what
he wanted. Then I came out to Jeiezza in the driveway who was
feeling similarly tired and dizzy.
2353
THE SWORD
Hazy recall. I was carrying around this giant sword. I think I was
in my Pine Hill living room, and I was with another guy. I kept
holding the sword up to my face and singing “Sowing the Seeds
of Love” by Tears for Fears, but I couldn’t tell if he knew what I
was doing. It was so heavy though, and difficult to hold against
my face. Then I put it on the floor and noticed it was flaking, and
whole pieces were coming off of it, and I was really annoyed.
2354
GAS STATION
At the end, I was at a gas station with Asia and dad and we were
getting ready to go somewhere. We just stopped over at this stor-
age place, like a public storage crate, where clothes and all of our
old stuff that used to be in the bins in the shed was neatly housed.
While looking through everything I was talking to my dad about
politics and explaining that if he had a firmer grasp on what
everything meant then he would believe differently than he did
and it had nothing to do with his financial status, background
or trade. I was carrying around a pile of bedsheets and pillowcas-
es not knowing what to do with them so I just set them by the
entryway when I saw that we were leaving. On the way out Asia
yells out to some guy standing by the nearby gas pump, and this
ain’t a populous area at all, very sparse, so this guy is like the only
one around. And she for some reason yells out something to him.
Like “what’s up” or something basic. Then he goes “man you’ll
never believe what just happened. You got to see this!” And he’s
trying to convince Asia to come over there and look at some-
thing he just won or got. And my paranoia is increasing. Then
as Asia goes over there, dad follows, then another guy comes out
and they try to jump the two of them. So I created a diversion.
I climb into the car, I lock the door, the window down by an
inch, and I don’t remember what I did but when one guy came
over I really really hurt him and wouldn’t release him. Asia and
dad were being idiots just wandering around stunned outside of
the car as if they were on drugs. I keep shouting for them to get
in and come on, let’s leave, but they ain’t listening. So I kick the
body of this guy out of the car and it summons over the other
guy. And I slam my door shut once more and lock it, but then I
see that my door ain’t actually shut, and I’m thinking oh shit, and
everything is moving in slow motion. Then I woke up. Before all
2355
of this there was a part where I was sitting on the couch in Pine
Hill, by the old mirror, talking to Poppop.
EDEN
I went into my Instagram and saw that automatic posts had been
made. Three posts. Without my knowing. Of supposed album
covers. AI random generated. I then went to Spotify to see how
this happened and three albums were up. Two had the same title.
I don’t remember what they were, but it was an error made by my
distributor, which then propagated to all of my social accounts.
But I went to my mom to help contact customer service on my
behalf since I was in no mood to communicate with people. So
I sat there while she did and spoke to this lady. Although it was
basically me doing the talking ultimately. The lady who was un-
derstanding and helpful. Sat there for a while getting it sorted.
That’s when I went and laid in my mother’s bed and Asia came in
and I explained the situation to her.
The images had these flowers on them. All AI generated. I was

pissed off because people had been liking them thinking they
were intentional and I was confused as to what was going on. It
was some automatized system.
Then me and my dad were in that theater watching some speech

and mom went running off into the darkness and went crazy and
disappeared. She was running around in the back rows down the
aisle and I worried about her sanity. Earlier on she was sitting by
me and we were joking but she gradually became unhinged. And
when I called out “mom'' later I heard the screen say “what” but
it was so quiet that no one really heard it but me. Not that it was
quiet but there was other stuff going on at the same time. And
I burst into tears and told my father what had happened. She
had become the voice in the system, like a robotic woman's voice.
And I wondered when people would find out and what would
2357
happen. And my father didn’t know how to process the informa-

tion. But I got very emotional and I went off crying while walk-
ing down the aisle toward the exit. And as I walked I pictured all
of this as a movie and I knew I was in a movie and this was my
big scene and even though I was this cool guy I was having this
emotional breakdown. Because my mother was gone and became
just a disembodied voice.
Then I wandered into this sort of greenhouse room which has

a classroom and I wasn’t supposed to be there and there was an
awkward stare and stutter between me and the men inside be-
cause no one knew why I was there, and I was trying to figure out
if I could come in, but as I was leaving all of these others come
walking in for a class, and this was when there that black fami-
ly, and I think I followed this black father and son. Don’t know
why. Listening to them speak to one another and it was very cute.
Then somehow the father went away, and I continued chasing
the son, which I think was that boy I chased over the walls and
through that weird obstacle like course of equipment piles.
Then I continued wandering through the halls. Some doctor

guy was kind to me when I wandered in a building. Then I
entered and it looked like RadioShack. There were appliances
everywhere. It didn’t look very cutting edge though or I couldn’t
tell since I don't usually spend time around technology. But it
just looked like a bunch of weird small screens and smart devices
and it was very underwhelming. Early on I passed by a girl who
I thought might be the girl I talk to online. I walked by her and
went and stared at the tech pretending to be interested while
kind of just scoping out the situation. Then I came walking back
but I had to pass her and there was this rope or something that
was either attached to her or something else but she had to leave
it for me to pass. Or something. Maybe I wasn’t supposed to pass
at all, and I did this weird limbo underneath and my hair got
caught. And I let out a whoaaaa hahaha. It was a silly scene but I
made it through though she didn’t say anything. I then went to
one of the computer booths in the place. And dug up her profile
to double check if it was her and maybe she didn’t recognize me.
Or was shy.
I was thinking I was in North Carolina, which was supposedly

where she lived. But then I find that I am in Nevada so I’m like
fuck how did I get in Nevada. I had wandered out into these
bushes really far. Wait when was that, before or after the moth-
er part. Because I was outside in the night. Chasing that boy
over the wall, and through hedges. And someone else was with
me. And then there was that scene shortly before the river scene.
Where I was groping an invisible non existence person and I
loved the angle ‘cause I pictured them being tall and I was re-
ally nestled into them and also grabbing their ass. And then I
thought, is this the range that girls have since they’re shorter
than me. Because this hug feels better than the ones I get.
While I was on the computer I watched this long cinematic

video of these people supernaturally fighting on a rooftop and
there was a jar filled with these colored jewels (held by one of the
two people) that was supposed to shatter before the night was
through. I knew this because I realized this video was the same
one the girl Eden referenced to me previously. Then I turned
on some music. The first song to play sounded like Mastodon. I
switched to The Hollow by A Perfect Circle and looped it about
three or four times and loudly so because it was sexy and I want-
ed the girl to come in and overhear it, and I was doing everything
right now to be overheard and create this cool sexy memorable
mood but I saw no signs of her or anyone since I was the only
one in this room. So she didn’t come in like I hoped. So then I
switched to Wasted on Me by The Eden House because her name

was Eden. And then I looked at her pictures online of her band.
It was just her and presumably her boyfriend in this band. Goth-
ic tone. So I was just sitting there going through it and sat around
until I was so tired I could keep my eyes open anymore and I
went into the bathroom m and I thought I looked so good but
then I saw my face was all like tired and looking like gene Sim-
mons so I was like oh god in and see her like this. I need to sleep
first. This is when I went down that hall and back into that weird
house which somehow ended up being my house. Though not
one I’ve m ever been to. And I slept on the couch in these blue
boxer briefs which was uncharacteristic of me and I knew that.
I never knew if it was that girl, Eden. I doubt that it was, since I
was in NV and she was in NC. Note that this is not based off of
a real person in reality, by the way
“The outside will be inside. The inside will be outside.” This was
spoken by the woman who was having the guy’s baby. What the
fuck. This was spoken in the final moments of the dream—be-
tween a couple? But it was not a normal couple. Something very
otherworldly about them. And the baby was about to be born. I
think that man was afraid and she was reassuring him.
And then at the end the foxes were playing with Big Ben, that
Yeti creature. I was in my underwear on the couch after Asia and
dad came running in the room telling me there is a wildcat or
lion in the yard. I could see a large lion- like shadow being cast
on the living room that I was in, but opening up the blinds to
have a look startled it and it went running. Also, opening one set
of blinds accidentally left me to open all four sets of automatic
blinds. Dad got pissed because I scared it off, but then the wild-
cat found Big Ben, which was apparently its name for this evil
yeti that controls four lions. It was just common knowledge that
when you see a pack of lions/cougars they have a witch, or a han-
dler, or whatever I called it, but for some reason the cats knew
this one as Big Ben and I don’t know how I knew that, but I did
instinctively. It was hiding around the corner, not far from where
I was, but I couldn’t see it from where I stood.
LEDGE
Early on I was in my room eating gummies...candy. Almost swal-
lowed one whole but I just barely avoided it. Wasn’t used to
chewing things. Ate the whole box. Didn’t look like my actual
room.
Then I went with my parents to what felt like some home group.
Someone’s house. Sitting in a chair talking to Jason or someone
like him. There was a new political system being implemented
modeled after Ancient Greece and I’m talking about how I’m
not familiar with such a system and asking if it has to do with a
more family-based structure. And before this he tells me that the
Koreans almost won their way but failed, and I wasn’t sure what
he was talking about. Pretty sure I lost my hat on two separate
occasions in the beginning. And I remember thinking I can’t be-
lieve I’ve been sitting here talking to them the whole time and
introducing myself without a hat. I remember when my parents
and I first arrived at this place. Felt like a super small church
group and I didn’t want them to see my tonsure.
So I went to look for it. Couldn’t find it at first. Someone said

“here is your hat. It’s yours.” And it was like a giant Elizabethan
version of the one I own. So huge. But it wasn’t mine. So I still
looked and eventually I found mine but the two hats in my hat
were separated. Then I spoke to my father about something but
he was in a bad state from what I recall. I can’t recall that plot.
Then there was a part that took place in an arcade where my

mom was there and Tyler was there and I went and spoke with
Tyler while he was speaking with another guy and we were show-
ing off these hilarious pics of ourselves when we were younger.
2362
Then everyone got their food and was sitting down to eat dinner
in this theater-like room or concert hall. I briefly entered the the-
ater but then left to get my food. Got my plate and got ready to
walk around but there was no vegan food. So I left the plate in a
different place and walked out.
Then I left thinking I wanted to go back to my room to get more

candy since I couldn’t find any vegan food and I still had more
boxes of gummies in my closet. So this is when all that weird stuff
happened when I separated into two people. Sprinklers went off.
One guy went into some high security room protected by doors
and lasers and I didn’t feel like risking it. Whole reason I was
spawned was to stay back anyway.
And this is when I got in trouble. Because I split into two people
and set off an alarm and sprinkler system to enter a building. The
police came and ran after him—the original me—but I, the sec-
ond me, stayed behind and they didn’t suspect me. So then I, the
double, went on and continued my life as though I were the real
one even though I believe the real one got caught. I’m really not
sure what he was trying to do, though.
The cops followed me around quietly for a moment before real-

izing that I wasn't doing anything wrong just because when they
made it to the building I (the second me) was standing in the
lobby so they saw me first before figuring the situation out. This
is when I went outside, walking as casually as I could. Explored
a couple different buildings on the campus while others walked
about. Until I ran out onto this ledge, beginning to get paranoid
about the other me getting caught and what it could mean for
me since after they discovered the other me they would know
that we looked identical so I figured they would know I was com-
plicit. The ledge was over a dark blue ocean.
So there was this giant school and campus. I snuck around on

the ledge to escape. Around on this large ledge. That guy got nar-
rower and narrower. Until I heard Winnie the Pooh characters
conversing round the corner. And they hopped up onto the roof
embankment thing. So I did as well, although they didn’t see me.
Then I hear them mention “Oh no it’s the forest that never ends
or something like that.” And I became deeply worried that I had
made a mistake In coming here. And a great forest stood before
me. And apparently it wasn’t wise to enter since so few people
make it through.
I don’t know how I got to those other guys after this but I did.
After the ledge part I joined some little military clique in the
dark of school which had that guy like ST or HSM. This was
when we were all standing around in a hallway with like ten
dorms. Getting ready for some task. Everyone was getting their
personas ready. So I walked. In and I was like oh is this the
mythological one. And they’re talking about authors. And how
they’re going directly to the source. I had previously opened the
door to room 1 only to find maybe I had the wrong room. But
then I asked someone else in the hall who said our crew is likely
in 1 and 2. Previously I saw into room ten which was a bunch of
naked women
At the end of the dream I was annoying that guy in the room
with his face paint (Room six?) on the mythology room. Asking
him if the guy he was speaking about was a character. Or if he
was him. Or if it was like Howard roark. Or if it was mind ex-
panding or if one’s overthinking it. He didn’t seem to know how
to answer me. And he seemed kind of exasperated. There were
originally two guys in this room when I entered. But one guy left
mid way through the talk to do something.
INK
At the beginning of the dream I was contacted by an old online
friend by the name of Matt who I had spoken to in my teenage
years. We were talking via AIM or something and I remember
running off to dig through my CD’s in looking for his band's
CD.
I was in Pine Hill. Asia later showed up at the house and there
was some video that had gone around of her that was quite scan-
dalous and both me and my parents were very upset with her be-
havior. She was all drunk and high and trying to justify herself
and we were upset with what she had become. I tried to give her a
chance and talk to her normally, and I remember telling her that
I heard from Matt, but she was just being such an idiot and there
was no sense in trying to include her since my attempts to do so
were not even registering in her mind.
I went running down the road. It was Charldon, now. I forget

why I went running. I think Asia was following at first but I lost
her, and I made it to the end of the road and walked along the
highway and there was something to do with animals.
Then I got picked up by relatives and driven to their house in

the south. Long car ride with them telling me about how tall the
grass is and different allergens and other stuff which are bad in
their area, and I remember my voice sounded different to them.
There was a while where we were driving along the road.
It was weird I was staying there for a while. I remember getting

out of the truck once we arrived and it was a little trailer and they
were all trying to figure out seating arrangements when driving
to the next place.
2365
After going inside it was poorly lit and gloomy, sort of like Nan-
ny and Poppop’s house in Jersey, and they gave me this bag of
stuff to work with. It was filled with drawing materials and stuff.
Tons of pads of paper. I didn’t want to say that I don’t really have
use of my hands so I can’t draw, so I thanked them and did what
I could to make it look like I was using them even if I couldn’t
write or draw in my condition. They were really trying to accom-
modate me. I was worried about getting allergies since they made
a big deal about it. There was also something about a tractor out
back and I think I was thinking it would work out well in a po-
tential suicide attempt later on.
I was eventually called in to watch tv with them or something. At

this point it was not the southern relatives but Nanny and Pop-
pop and I was back in their Jersey place. And I think this whole
thing started because my phone was full and wouldn’t load my
message account so it started sending out messages automatical-
ly to whatever I received, and it sent a wincing emoji to Nanny
when she wrote me, and I had been ignoring her for years so I fig-
ured I had to clarify that I didn’t do that. My phone automatical-
ly sent the wince in response to a photograph of her dog Pebbles.
So anyway, later on we’re all watching movies in their old living

room. Concerts on tv and other videos. I left the room after a
music video... there were two brothers and they were kissing and
it was a weird thing to watch with my grandparents. Then I went
into the other room with the paper and began drawing logos for
a band and signing my name on a pad of paper... I think I acci-
dentally got ink on the table and all my work ended up getting
erased as if it was digital and I forgot to save. Came back to the
living room an hour or so later and Nanny had almost watched
an entire superhero film without me and was testy because I was
off in the other room all that time.
Later I sent a letter to T asking if he was available. No, the mes-

sage that I sent was very presumptive. It was like “My house is at
this address, third one on the right, where are you?” Or some-
thing like that. I was in need of help. Then I got a voicemail from
this woman. She sounded like she was crying and annoyed and
saying no one was coming. So my response was going to be “Oh,
sorry I sent it to the wrong person... it was meant for someone
who was on their way to pick me up” but really I wanted T to
pick me up. I had apparently reached his girlfriend. She sent a
long voice message hysterical about how she was exhausted after
a long day of work and didn’t know who I was and she was anx-
ious when I was sending T messages for some reason because she
was already suspicious about something and it just triggered her,
so something was obviously wrong. Suddenly I was at her house...
since by listening to her speak my dream somehow took me over
there. She wanted to have sex with me while T was out of the
house and I’m like noooo go away.
At the end of the dream I was watching a video of me in kinder-

garten... on some compilation tape that was findable via search
on the internet. I think Matt came across it so I was watching
it trying to imagine what he was thinking since it was his first
time really seeing me. And first it showed a bunch of stills of my
family, like family portraits, sitting on the New Jersey couch cir-
ca 93/94. Then it showed me in kindergarten doing this bizarre
performance in front of the class wearing a red outfit and talking
about how girls suck and spinning in circles. It was show and tell
or something mug and I was like five years old. And I can see Mrs
Ritchie standing by. And then I left briefly and came back with
tons of bubble wrap and I’m like “who wants a sheet!” And all
the kids start raising their hand saying they want one, and so I’m
handing out bubble wrap sheets to every kid and it’s getting loud
and obnoxious and mrs Ritchie looks nervous like she’s trying to
figure out when to intervene but ultimately backs off and allows
it but you can tell she’s a little annoyed or at least trying to make
sure that everything’s okay. So it ends as everyone in the class is
now popping bubble wrap and it’s a bunch of loud kids.
AI-GENERATED MACARONI
At the beginning I was in this large house. I was walking around
in the basement in which there lived what I was calling a pan-
golin, only the pangolin in my dreams had a vaguely Komodo
dragon feel to it, and it was left in the basement. I kept worrying
that it would come upstairs and get the dog.
I later went to speak to my mother and sister upstairs. They were

watching some film featuring Robin Williams and I said “That’s
funny, I was just watching Hook in the other room.” I sat down
and watched a few minutes of the movie before realizing I had
no mask on and said “nobody even realized I’m not wearing a
mask???” so I got up and left the room. On the way out Asia
said to mom “oh, he wasn’t wearing a mask” And my mother re-
sponded “what??” In surprise, having not noticed.
I went into my bedroom and played music with my father. Set-

ting up recording equipment and improvising. I turned on a Cir-
cle of Ouroborus ambient track to improvise over and my father
said he liked it without knowing what it was and I thought that
was funny since he doesn’t usually care for them. He kept mate-
rializing AI-generated pasta dishes and offering them to me but
I wouldn’t eat them and he ate a whole lot.
I remember getting in a car and turning on some crappy metal-

core while driving to the theater. I went to the theater with W.
We were in line waiting for a while it seemed. He had a mega-
phone and kept using it at the oddest times amid our conver-
sations, amplifying the oddest words and sentences and noises.
There were strange, otherworldly markings all over the ceiling
that seemed to be spreading and I kept calling it “cosmic cum.”
We were seeing a suspense film and went and got our seats right
2369
down at the front, but I kept fearing something wasn’t right

with the world since my father started eating that food generated
by AI. Like just because it looks like food and smells like food
doesn’t mean it contains all of the same properties and should be
consumed. He had eaten a lot of AI-generated macaroni and I
felt like this had a part to play in what was happening to the fab-
ric of the world.
After the theater I came back to my house and bedroom which

is when Asia and dad were arguing in my room, and I made a
movement that looked like a slap, but I didn’t make contact with
her face, and Asia freaked out and rubbed her face until a mark
appeared and she started panicking and pacing and ran upstairs
and no one could reason with her and my dad couldn’t tell if I
really slapped her or not, and he’s like “what are we gonna do
now,” And I’m like “get rid of her fucking husband. Kick them
both out.” And I fit into this rant about “do you know what a
narcissistic sociopath is. Do you even care” And I’m like “it’s all
I think about. How could my sister fall for a monster like that.”
I went and pulled up my dream journal and referenced other
dreams, saying I can find at least a dozen dreams from recent
years in which you’ll hear it mentioned where I just can’t han-
dle it and can’t understand how it all came to this. In my dream
her husband worked at Dominoes so I kept bringing up Domi-
noes (which makes no sense in reality). But I kept saying stuff
like “he doesn’t pay you rent and this ain’t going anywhere. All
your interactions are lies and...” And I’m just freaking out trying
to get my father to heed what I have to say and to stop support-
ing them as a couple and him as a person when he is actively poi-
soning Asia and wearing all of us down and everyone’s allowing
it to happen.
KRISPY CAKE
I was up in my parents room in Londonberry with a plate that
mom just gave me of a rice krispie cake from my cousin’s birth-
day. She allowed me to sample it ahead of time and she was just
going to redo parts of it later to fill in what we had eaten. It was
quite shallow as a cake, meaning flat, but it was warm and it was a
frosted warm rice krispie treat with little cinnamon or something
sprinkled on top and tasted like sweetened condensed milk. I
went up for like three minutes to eat in their room while she
stayed in the kitchen. Meanwhile I looked through some book
and listened to the radio. I was worried about getting a stomach
ache since this was the third thing I had eaten in the last hour
and fearing the stomach ache would hinder my plans for the
next day. But it was sooo good. I then went downstairs with the
plate all cleaned up, having savored every bite, to see mom at the
kitchen table sampling it herself. I was like “Ooooh hoo hoo.” I
made a sound to show how good I thought it was, and she re-
sponds by quoting the line from Jingle All the Way where Phil
Hartman says “Oooooooh, these cooooookies.” And we sort of
just made satisfied noises humorously for twenty seconds before
saying how good it was. It was super good. This is where I woke
up. Damn, I wish I had a plate of that.
I was feeling really depressed at the time. I forget why. Before this
I had eaten some other snack. Some chocolates. And before that
I had eaten some meal. That was all in Charldon, although there
were a few minutes of Londonberry kitchen.
Interactions with Uncle Jamie previously. Him, my mother and

I were riding in the car and I was fooling with the stereo. I was
asking him if he had ever heard of Clarence Clarity, and he an-
2371
swered “No. What does it sound like?” It was already playing, so

I simply pointed to the stereo and called it “Clusterfunk.” Then
I said “Let me cue up the best one,” and I went to change tracks,
but my mother, who was driving at the time, was being quite an-
noying, saying that I was only allowed to skip one more track and
then I just had to allow the album to play, since I guess I was skip-
ping around too much, so I had her put it back to the beginning
of the album because I wanted to hear “Will to Believe.”
Next thing I know I was in the Pine Hill living room sitting on
the couch listening to the same music and eating something my
mother made. My dad comes by and I’m telling him about the al-
bum and demonstrating with my hands some kind of graph chart
of how exciting it was song by song.
There was more to the dream, but I fell asleep mid-recall.

ELEPHANT
There was a giant elephant in our Pine Hill yard, located in the
very corner by the living room window. It belonged to Asia but
Asia had left it here when she moved. I woke up early in the
morning. After eating some snacks I went over to the window
and just sat and watched it, feeling fortunate for the fact that not
everyone had such a view from their house; not everyone could
say they had an elephant. I was just all wistful and I was listening
to “Some Other Time” by Alan Parsons Project. Then the ele-
phant started getting playful and playfully rampaging about and
began breaking the tent my dad recently bought. So I went and
got my dad who had to go out and stop it. But as he got close,
he was like “Oh, this ain’t worth it.” The elephant was too play-
ful and rowdy, and I watched my dad turn back (I was watching
through a window).
Then there was something about wishing to stop the elephant

with magic. And I had this costume kit of a magician that I
pulled out. And it said all these funny things on the package, be-
cause it was made for kids. Like “You can do this magic and this
magic, but only if you ask your parents!”
There was something else that got me riled up. Something polit-
ical having to do with the theocratic conservatives and their in-
sistence on America being a Christian nation.
I recall flipping through an album of photographs, seeing all

these pics I took of myself in which I had short blonde hair and
my lower lip looked odd—accentuated by a black highlighter
or eyeliner pen. And after about twenty similar shots of me it
showed me with WC. Later on, after looking through photos, I
retrieved a VR headset and turned it on to a scene that showed
2373
WC and I sitting on a hotel bed. It was a casual scene. We were

both doing our own thing, so it wasn’t romantic or intimate, but
I enjoyed watching it, feeling like I was back there again. Then
there was something having to do with Anita, like I came to
some profound realization regarding Anita’s nature or identity,
although I can’t remember what it was.
Later on I was browsing WC’s social media profile and there

were some sarcastic remarks about Christians, like “I just love
Christians, especially Jesus.” ‘Jesus’ was italicized. It was obvious-
ly meant to be ironic. And then there was a .gif animation on her
sidebar of this nerdy punk singer doing this weird thing with his
face where he would pull his lips down, puff out his cheeks and
blow and it would blow up his nose. He did it twice. The second
time it seemed he would hurt himself because his nose got way
too big, and he had a skull and crossbones carved into his nose
with a knife, but it looked like acne or a cold sore from afar until
he blew up his nose and the detail revealed itself. This was all on
the sidebar of her Facebook profile.
MOON HOUSE
(This dream needs to be edited down... the recall is a bit repeti-
tive)
I went to church and was sitting outside of church with Tyler

when a guy and then another guy stepped out into the foyer all
strangely kind and were like “hey you remind me of this guy are
you him” and I was like “Yeah, how do you know?” and it was
very unusual. But then I looked past them and I saw every person
in the congregation staring right at me. And it was super creepy.
I could see dozens of people at least through the open door and
their eyes were looking dead at me. And I asked what was go-
ing on. And they said something “pigeon headed” To refer to it,
Which stuck with me and I repeated, “pigeon headed?” It was
like some sort of set up. And I took off. Left the church. Went
around out back. Hid from the church and my parents. Then
while I was on the side of the church I could hear my mother and
father prowling through the woods on the other side and I could
hear them talking about how they can sense they’re getting closer
to me. And I got out of the way just in time to be beyond them.
Then I took off running and somehow managed to fling myself
up over the horizon and land across the street from the church
in this crazy tree branch which then flung me into another place
altogether. And I landed through the roof of this moon house.
And I learned that I achieved something ultra special by landing
in this way in the moon house. And then I was sitting there just
hanging out and a girl who I had apparently met previously was
there. And she walked in and goes whoa what are you doing here,
Because this was like a supernatural place for restricted people. I
said I landed on the roof. And she was like wow okay. Because
that’s the only legit way a person could get here other than the
2375
way she did. She owned it. So I was allowed to live here. We sat
around watching something. On television it was these albums
with names that were themed like haunted houses.
Earlier on I saw Colby when arriving at the church. It didn’t

look like the church at first. I had arrived with my mother and
Asia. Asia was with an Asian boy who was not anyone we knew,
but they were just acting strange. And I followed them into the
building because I didn’t know my way, and there were cakes
everywhere, And people got to sit down and pick a table in this
huge old looking court building. I saw Colby when first enter-
ing, but it got awkward. We were like heeyyy and just stood there
silent until I think he walked away and continued with what he
was doing. Must have just stood there smiling at each other in si-
lence for like fifteen seconds. I picked a weird looking table in the
back toward the entrance with these interesting looking cakes.
One of them looked like a bomb rocket or something.
This was shortly before I walked out of the building and ran into
Alex. I recall making a joke about some photo he took... a pho-
to from his childhood which he was using as his profile photo
on some website. And he got annoyed with me for laughing at
it so I stopped. He told me about J and other people and how
they had sort of gotten stale with time... something unfortunate.
Weren’t fun anymore. Then Tyler came by (Alex may have turned
into Tyler) and we were talking while standing outside and we
seemed to be having good and genuine conversations. But after
a few minutes those tall guys left the church sanctuary slow-
ly one after another, exiting through different doors and seem-
ing to know me. And when I saw the “pigeon headed congrega-
tion” which was just normal people but EVERYONE was look-
ing through the door at me all rubbernecked. I was like “Hold
on,” and I ran away. I had apparently been being talked about in
their sermon and this was all a set up... like something weird was
unfolding, some demonstration.
Then I went and hid with Tyler by the side of the building—that
really narrow part between the building and the woods. So it
wasn’t like a path. I was having to squeeze through this narrow
bank. Then as we were getting close to the other side of the park-
ing lot I heard my parents calling out for me. When my par-
ents came Tyler and I split up. I thought “Where to go, where to
run, instead of staying on church grounds I’ll just run down the
street.” And that’s when that unnatural ‘flick’ happened, because
I dashed down the street and jumped off. It was like a valley, but
instead of falling down the valley, which was very low and would
have killed me if I fell, I landed on a tree branch which spring me
up across the street and I flew through the air into a rare street
only accessible by these means so I technically hit the jackpot.
Unfortunately, I was charged $200 upon entering the place,

when the fee was only supposed to be $60. I was charged this fee
by a female robot administrator, and it was erroneous. So I dis-
puted the false charges later, which were made in error. So at the
end it was me and that girl. And maybe someone else. Lounging
around in the moon house. Listening to music.
Okay, there were two girls. What the hell. Yeah, I remember
now. It was a weird situation, because the three of us were on the
couch and the two of them were cuddling with one another, but
one of them was also holding my hand while the two of them
were cuddling and I couldn’t tell if this affection was secretive or
able to be openly acknowledged. Like, I didn’t know if she was
cheating on the other girl with me or not, but I think that it was
far stranger than that, even. They were actually the same girl split
into two, and only half of her was able to admit that she liked me
and the other couldn’t admit to it, or couldn’t know. It looked

like two different girls, it did, but they had the same essence.
LIMOUSINE
I was traveling along a steep mountain cliff with canyons all
around while listening to a video on my Instagram by this Aus-
tralian guy and I was thinking that his accent is completely neu-
tralized, so either he doesn’t sound Australian or I’ve been talk-
ing Australian the whole time. Although in my mind I must have
been thinking New Zealand, because I was also trying to discern
if he pronounced his e’s like i’s. Then, while walking, I was think-
ing about social justice and activism and the fate of the world.
Then I was at the top of the cliff range doing something when I
was with my mother.
Then I went driving somewhere and it was horrible because I

don’t know how to drive. I was with my mother. We met on this
city roof or some such. And then we got into separate cars. But
then my grandfather came to pick us up in his limo. So I was like
“Fuck, I want that.” I went to get into the front seat while my
father went to get into the middle. Poppop didn’t want me up
front, saying the multimedia experience was in the back, which
makes sense because passengers in the back get a better television
experience, and I’m like “But I don’t watch television.” Though I
finally listened to him anyway and went into the middle section
next to my father. Right side. I guess that girl was sitting up front
anyway but I didn’t know at the time. or she wasn’t yet.
We passed a police car on this narrow road. I remember we

jerked slightly right as we passed him, the vehicle. And I was
like “Jeez what bad timing. Though I guess the cops are probably
used to it.”
There was a girl sitting upfront who I did not know. I kept look-
ing for the candy that they claimed was in here. Then the car
2379
stopped on a dirt road and they all got out. Meanwhile I’m look-
ing at a brochure of “eyesight and driving” and trying to figure
out if there is a decreased responsibility to see certain things for
certain people, like less penalties for the visually impaired. Then
I look through the jack window and see that the people outside
seem to be eating candy over the trunk. And I’m like aw damn
but I don’t want to go out. A minute later the girl came walk-
ing by the side door and I opened up the door for her. And she
starts dropping candy into the palms of my hand one by one. I
thanked her three times in total along the way. I asked if they’re
good and if they’re the same flavor, ‘cause I noticed different col-
ors and designs. Looked kind of like peppermints but they were
slightly soft.
Then she goes back around. I’m like wooo all excited. Go to put
my handful of candy in the limo’s cup holder, and there’s like an
inch of water in the cup holder, which I didn’t see beforehand
(there were two cup holders, and only the left-most cupholder
had water in it and that’s where I put mine, even though the right
was closer to me, so that pissed me off even more so). The can-
dy got wet and gross. And I think I remember being afraid of
something having to do with ‘meth water’ and thinking the wa-
ter would have a stimulant effect and fuck me up. Didn’t know
if it would still have an effect on me. So I was pissed and tried to
dry it off. Then I thought I lost half of my pieces, only to real-
ize I left them on the seat when cleaning the wet ones off, which
was good. I didn’t get to eat them before waking up, though. We
were still stopped on the roadside when I woke up.
There was more to it, but I’m much too tired to continue typing.
ALUMINUM BEETLE
I met this guy on a dirt road. I believe I was driving with Asia
when he approached. I exited the vehicle and spoke with him on
this dusty, desert road. He was interested in a business partner-
ship so I was like okay, I’ll at least see what he wants to say. Turns
out he wanted to create some sort of streaming service. So I’m
asking him what he wants and expects: what movies, foreign or
domestic, old or new. And he’s telling me about these old crime
dramas from the 70’s and 60’s and I’m like “Oh, of course,” be-
cause apparently it matched with something else he said, or just
his character.
It seemed like he was losing interest in the deal as we continued

talking and saw that I was quite unprofessional despite being
very intelligent and creative, but I continued on despite picking
up on these signs. I invited him out to dinner so we ate at this
fine dining place where we continued to discuss the ideas and
considered whether or not a partnership was a good idea.
There was a girl eating with us in the beginning, although I don’t

know who she was. The only thing that I really remember about
her was that she got up at one point to use the restroom or call
someone and told us that the drink bar is on her so if we want
anything then she’ll pay for it. Me and the guy were like oh ho ho
but ultimately didn’t act on the offer. Then what was that thing
that was said where we were trying to figure something out... like
someone said something and we were trying to figure out if we
heard them correctly but then figured it out.
Then as the people were getting ready to sing, which we didn’t

know at the time, the guy with me got called away by staff to an-
other side of the restaurant, leaving me to myself. Then people
2381
started singing to the person at the table to the right of me. I re-
member the staff taking the guy’s expensive camera which was
unmanned and putting it on the table and using it as a flash
or strobe and I was like shit that’s not right. And there were
sparklers going off and I was worried about his camera and how
he would react, especially if some sparks flew off and damaged
his camera. People were singing and lights flickering and it was
pretty annoying. That’s when I realized I looked so mopey and
miserable and mean and started smiling when I saw the children.
I looked grumpy and unhappy to not be singing during the song

and was sort of looking moody but then I’d look around at the
children playing and singing and running around laughing and
I’d smile. Then this little girl ran up to me and sat down at my
right hand side and started laughing, and she was like “Tendon,
Tendon! My sister taught me how to play that game you used to
play where you hide.”
And I go “Aluminum beetle? Are you winning?”
And the little girl was so cute. We spoke for a moment, and then
I remember feeling nostalgic and turning around in my seat and
there was Kendall standing there behind me and I was like whoa.
She was wearing this very elegant red dress that was quite reveal-
ing as the sides of the dress were missing, held together by laces,
so the sides of her torso were visible. She looked very nice, and
greeted me warmly. She was one of the most illustrious guests
at this party so the fact that she came over and even said hello
was so weird to me even though we were supposedly childhood
friends. And she starts talking about the games we would play in
our youth. She extended her arms to hug me, and so I embraced
her, and it was a very sentimental moment, but I was sitting in
my chair in a weird way at the time of our embrace, so after our
embrace I stood to my full height, saying “Don’t be misled as

to how much I’ve grown over the years.” And so then I rise to
my full height, and she’s like whoa just because she hasn’t seen
me in decades. She’s so smiley and happy to see me. Then takes
a seat at the other end of the round table across from me. Small
table. There’s just an old couple seated to my left sort of. And the
little girl to my right, although the girl wasn’t really sitting and
just wandering around. And Kendall across from me now. And
Kendall starts filling the old people in, telling these old people
at our table about how when we were children we used to play
a game called ‘aluminum beetle’ which was essentially our name
for hide and seek or some sort of hybrid. And how the two of us
were the best at it. I was wondering at the time how many peo-
ple were staring at our table just because she was sort of a big deal
and I felt all famous at that moment for her to be seen near me.
But then I thought I need to wake up before I forget the name
of our game, because that seems like an important detail I wish
to remember, so I just woke up while she was still talking, think-
ing the dream was probably about to end naturally anyway, al-
though I really wanted to sit and speak with her longer. I woke
up as Kendall was telling the story of Aluminum Beetle which
was what we called hide and seek as children.
HEMORE ZAGGRATISM
Then they mentioned that a definition regarding pleasure
should be changed from something to the fact “because fascist
and controlling ideas of our kind have spent so much time sup-
pressing.” (???)
And I’m like “yeah that’s pretty much peak naturalness.” She/he..
originally a she... was a hotel worker at this NASA hotel thing
who was speaking to me as I was standing in front of the door
waiting for it to open. The elevator like thing with timed doors
although it was really just a hallway. I lost my balance in front
of it while swaying to the music and they noticed and asked if I
was alright and I think they’d assumed that I was drinking so I
clarified I was just dancing although I do think I had been drink-
ing a little bit. This comes after walking through campus. Which
comes after being at my house at which I arrived after some game.
And I went into the upstairs Londonberry kitchen while my

sister's friends sat around the table telling my mother who was
standing by the counter. She asked how it all went and so I ex-
plained that it went well, noting that some girl kissed me ran-
domly. I was bragging, because when I was standing on the side
of the so called enemy team they put on a silly performance.
And when asked about how they did I complimented them and
one girl planted a quick kiss near my mouth and then gave me
this lingering look before everyone dispersed. They commented
about how that seems forward and I was like “Yeah, but the peo-
ple who do that are usually just looking for an excuse to do so
anyway.” I was looking really good. Good hair. Open white but-
ton down. Torn orange striped shirt underneath. So then I just
stood there and listened to the table chat for a few minutes. On-
2384
ly after a few minutes of talking did I notice a third person at the

table who despite being there the whole time I hadn’t noticed
until they opened their mouth to speak. It was P. And I was try-
ing to figure out if it was really her. And she opened her mouth to
speak. And started answering my mothers question about how
she was friends with Asia. And she gave this answer about how
they have fun together, and how she had been in our house be-
fore, although we might not remember and said “This was back
when I visited for Kori.” I just up and walked out of the room at
that point. Then I went down the first staircase in the foyer and
stood there, wishing I had said “I only just realized who you are,”
before immediately walking out. I couldn’t believe she heard the
story about the kissing. And I knew it was her as soon as I heard
her voice.
Early in the dream I received messages from Tyler H. and some

other guy from the Speakertree era. Tyler was asking “Hey, what’s
your number?” And I was going to respond back saying “I don’t
have one. I stopped speaking.”
As for the kiss part. Okay, I was walking with the group to this
large place. And at the end of the tour this group, hidden behind
some weird little feint, jumped out and pretended to attack, but
they were performers and the performance quickly turned satir-
ical. It was meant to celebrate our victory I suppose. And I had
been standing on the side of the yard where these guys were. So I
was right in the middle of the performance or whatever you wan-
na call it. Which is when people, after finishing, asked me how
they did. And I said it was great. Then one girl kissed me near my
mouth or maybe on my mouth.
Oh there was also that part where everyone was standing outside
and all these guys were peeing into the woods simultaneously,
and I realized I was accidentally leaning on someone else. This is

after P, before dancings So maybe I was drinking after all. I was
just walking around and then realized I didn’t know anybody
and it wasn’t a good feeling.
In the hotel scene the person was commenting about cacti, using
the term in reference to people who stick around longer than
they should, like children who don’t leave their parents homes
at 18. And I commented “but they’re good for the ecosystem.”
They didn’t hear me the first time so I had to pull down my asth-
ma face mask.
I woke up at that point and then fell back asleep, having a short
dream from which I remember very little alert from the final
scene.
The guy who joined us late was named Hemore Zaggratism (pro-
nounced Hee-moor). And when Jeff said his name two people
nearby began laughing uncontrollably and couldn’t help them-
selves. So then I woke up as this guy opened his mouth to speak.
We were all holding this little forum on how to approach con-
tent control within the church and what people should be ex-
posed to.
Earlier on it was just me and Jeff and one other guy who sat
down, seemingly amid some department store, to discuss this
matter, but over time the table seemed to become longer and
more people joined us—concluding with Hemore.
SHADOW MAN
I spent hours wandering the church property, taking snacks from
the cabinets, from the kitchen refrigerator, taking out hooks. The
kids got annoyed that I walked into their room at the end, when
I was hiding from the adults. One little kid was like “Kori, we’re
trying to read!” And I asked “Is this junior high?” And the child
answers “Yes,” but it was definitely little kids who could not have
been older than seven.
The creepiest part of the dream was the shadow man who was
standing in the entrance of one of the upstairs rooms before
church started and no one else was upstairs. It was dark and I was
wandering the halls and when I turned to enter one of the rooms
there was a figure there that looked like a black specter and it was
absolutely horrific. It felt like my soul got compacted and jarred
and I didn’t expect the dream to keep going after this encounter
but it did. And it made me approach each subsequent room with
extra caution.
I was singing “Aerials” by System of a Down when walking

around downstairs and someone else randomly chimed in with a
harmony at one point. The “life is a waterfall” verse and then the
chorus. I did the nasally voice perfectly. This was after I walked
out of the bathroom. I was just playing around, and someone
said something which caused me to run back into the bathroom,
even though I didn’t need to be in there. I was just being silly.
But there was a crime scene in there. One of the stalls was closed
off and there was blood on the floor. I could see the bloody feet
on the floor in the stall, where it seemed a dead body was sitting
on the toilet, although I really didn’t give it much thought at the
time. It’s just something that happened.
2387
SALIVA
Someone said “Atheist was sitting on the couch,” or that’s what
I heard, and I was like “Wait, is this tech death Atheist,” and I
started making weird guitar noises with my mouth. Then I went
and found that little lock box I had and opened it up with some
difficulty and poured all of those little dots that said ‘Nintendo’
on them while CM watched.
We are all at this meeting place, though I forget where was talk-
ing to place. There was supposed to be some other story going on
simultaneously with this one but I don’t know all the details and
it was very confusing. There was a kit to do with the idea. I didn’t
want to go for a walk around this city because I was sure I’d get
mugged. Every once in a while I would go outside and roll in the
grass like a rowdy little dog. And it made no sense. Then I would
come back in.
There was some crime that occurred. Something on the national

scale. Or someone important died. And there were these massive
underground prisons. Oh god what was all that stuff under-
ground.
Oh damn, before all of this there was that emotional part where I
was writing that message to that girl through the television, who
was always pretending to be upset with me and behaving mean-
ly. But I knew it wasn’t act. And I wrote a message to her ask-
ing if she would stop, because I knew we cared about one anoth-
er and wanted us to enjoy our time speaking with one another.
Since she was the first friend that I made after registering at some
place, and I wanted to cherish the memory. I never sent the mes-
sage though.
2388
What were we all doing in there group? I don’t remember. But at

one point I was brushing my teeth or something and didn’t real-
ize how quickly my mouth would fill up with new saliva, having
miscalculated the amount not remembering more saliva would
build up, so then I started drooling a little bit and got up and ran
over to the door. The guy held the door open for me. I went out-
side and spat it off the person’s deck into the yard below. Then
I came back in and for a second I thought that the guy who
opened the door for me courteously had taken my seat when I
was gone but that wasn’t the case. We were all deciding where to
go for dinner or something of that sort? What to do next?
THE NIGHT HOG AND THE
NECKLACES
I was standing around in this dark hallway waiting for something
to occur. Day was transitioning into night. I was wearing all of
these golden necklaces to which was attached different charms.
Then a figure appeared in the dark and approached me. It trans-
formed into what I described as a giant wild hog, based on its sil-
houette and general feel, although it was definitely not that and
was a lot stranger, seeming demonic or tribal. I forget what be-
came of this interaction. I don’t remember if it sniffed me and
intimidated me or if it tackled me. All I know is that it left pret-
ty shortly thereafter and I was left wondering what that was all
about. Then I realized that some of my necklaces were missing.
And so I was sitting there trying to figure out which ones. The
ones having to do with Anita? The ones having to do with my-
self ? There were like a dozen necklaces initially so figuring out
which ones were missing was crucial to understanding the nature
of this demon. This was the whole point of this ritualistic event.
I tried to convey the story to my parents. Describing it like I did
here. I sat at a computer in the dark hall trying to write things
down. I remember seeing a strange photo of myself on the com-
puter, on the website. Not really strange, I just recall looking at
it.
I remember my website also containing these vivid accounts of

my relationships. I remember some pages describing my horrible
relationship with Annie but then one year later it showed me in a
relationship with someone else. And I remember the cover of the
photo albums looked misleading “due the amount of skin that
they showed”, as if it was clickbait, and it would look like I was
in my underwear but that wasn’t actually the case.
2390
At another point in the dream I remember asking my father if we

could go out to the store, first to the mall and then to food shop-
ping so we could get “maybe six boxes of cereal”. I really wanted
to get some cereals we hadn’t had in many years. So we were mus-
ing over which ones to get.
PUSSY WITH A FIRE POKER
I
At the end I was in the kitchen fighting that guy (the guy with
the fire poker) while asking him when was the last time he was
clean shaven, because he had a goatee.
I had just broken into this place from some ridiculous under-
world location filled with crazy trees and soldiers and hallways
and lifts, while he and the woman I know we’re having dinner. So
I popped back up between these two layers. Then I ran around
to where they were and I can see the annoyance in his face that
I showed up. And I looked over between the tables and I’m like
“Oh wait, did I just rise up right here between the tables, or no
was that over there...” And then I told him “I just got back from
your underworld place. Very cool. Soldiers and forests and tun-
nels and I was kicking all sorts of ass.” He gets up and comes af-
ter me. Picks up a fire poker from one of those little fireplace
tool sets and I called him a pussy or something like that for using
it, and I opened the fridge right when he came by, swinging the
door right into him to block. So then I’m sending him off, hold-
ing the poker, to keep him from swinging. He’s a tall guy, and I
start striking up these conversations and making all of these Gex-
like gags and puns. And I ask him about his facial hair, and he ac-
tually starts answering me, but then I awoke. I wasn’t even afraid.
Though I guess I was somehow blaming this guy for all of the
jungle crap I had been through, as if he was responsible for some
of it.
Previously I was in this horrible underground place running

through woods and being shot at. It took me so long to get out.
2392
Before that I was with Isaac. We went for a walk in the harsh
rainy conditions. We were supposed to go to the park, but for
some reason we went to this field where there were these weird
rippling waves of water sweeping through the area. That’s how I
ended up in the jungle area.
GRUMPY ACTOR
Rulidragger
Slice faced in the stomach. Kori is dead. People doubting the le-
gitimacy of my appearance due to the records that they found
online. This was all happening on some forum.
I was at some weird show where a psychology professor was

speaking and I was waiting in line at one point to meet him. But
then I saw Tyler and Mike and I had to cover my face with my
hands. Then I went to the bathroom. On the way out I ran in-
to an actor from science fiction movies who was speaking with
a fan girl. They were standing in front of the gate and I couldn’t
get through, so I stood nearby just smiling and staring down at
the ground and I felt bad because I was obviously waiting to get
through but I didn’t want to rush them or seem annoying. So it
was a bit of a stressful situation for me. The girl finally walked
off. I went through the gate at the same time that the actor went
through and I apologized if I made him feel rushed. He said it
was okay. Then after that, as we continued taking the same route
I said “How are ya doing” sort of casually. There was a long pause
before he simply responded with a terse “no” or something like
that. Pretty grumpy and formidable. Then he commented about
how he isn’t doing pictures. Out of nowhere. And I said “Oh..
well, it’s nice to meet you.” And he looked back at me once be-
fore heading off onto the restroom. It was such a weird look he
gave me. Just very standoffish, as if he could fathom my existence.
I continued on down a separate path where the party was still on-
going and I was fearing to run into Tyler and the others.
2394
EMPTY ROOM
I awoke in my bedroom. The whole room was empty, having
been emptied out in my sleep. I was beyond upset. My parents
were standing around, and only moments after I awoke some
stranger entered my room. He was a middle-aged handyman,
likely friends with my dad. He had been called to fix something.
He was trying to be kind to me but he did some playful gut
punches when he saw me and I’m like noooo way... because I’m
having really bad hernia-related issues at the moment, so this was
the worst thing he could have done. He was working in the far
corner of my room to fix something electrical perhaps. I felt very
upset and betrayed because no one was allowed in my room and
they just took it upon themselves to undertake this operation to
override my will.
The lights went out. He thought that it was only my room but
then I looked upstairs and it was out in every room. It wasn’t
long before the power came back on. I wandered around the
house for a while with nothing to do. Kept coming back to my
room and being so mad that it got emptied out. The walls had
these little patches of spackle. All furniture had been removed
and I couldn’t fathom how my parents had managed to do it
while I was asleep. I kept wandering back and forth between the
upstairs, the kitchen. Kept losing my hat along the way. Even
spoke a few times, which was weird. Spoke to my mother. I was
angry. Said I was so angry I could shoot up a school.
Later there was a potluck at the house. All sorts of crazy food
spread out over several rooms. I wandered around taking it all
in and making sure the guests were finding everything. I remem-
ber standing by the doorway at one point and a woman who was
2395
in line to get her friend was just looking at me. I smiled, but
she seemed put off or maybe confused by my presence. I waited
until the end to eat, when no one else was around (apart from
my grandma). But I was feeling maybe that was a bad decision,
because all of the ice cream cones were gone. And no one had
touched the breads, which were sort of strange veggie breads.
Like there was a kale bread and a zucchini bread perhaps. At that
point it was just me and Nanny looking at everything.
Then there was that part where I was standing at the kitchen
counter getting something and Asia and Micah came into the
kitchen and I shot him an angry side glance, but he didn’t see it,
so I resumed what I was doing at the counter. I was probably just
mixing my kratom. Then I got accused of giving them the mid-
dle finger, so I turned around and snapped at my mother, say-
ing “Who says I did that? Because I didn’t hear her *pointing
to Asia* suggesting that I did as much. I hear it coming from
you.” And I’m looking angrily at my mother. Meanwhile Micah
is saying that he didn’t see me flip anyone off. I was so frustrated
though that she was stirring up trouble.
There was that part where there was that wall of squares like in a
game show and I was being spoken to by this person who lacked
all understanding of what they were doing, and they were clearly
part of the SOL fraternity, based off of the questions they were
asking. I started to wake up at this point but decided I wanted to
keep dreaming and managed to keep everything going.
THE COPS WERE CALLED
Nanny was taking me to church. It was her and my mother in
the front seats and me in the backseat. There were some oatmeal
boxes on the floor. Instant oatmeal, like the small packets and
not the stuff that I usually get. And I opened one up and ate
the packet plain like I used to do. Mmm. Lot of dust. Nanny
commented about that, but I was hungry. Then after we arrived
at church I got anxious when I saw everyone was already in a
line and I was like “Noooo, don’t let them see me.” When I say
like I mean like a dodgeball line. Everyone was out back, getting
ready to play something. So then when we drove back around
the front there were similar things going. She drove to the back
once more but it was no better and didn’t last despite my best ef-
forts. We couldn’t find a place to park since there were three dif-
ferent events going on and they were all stressful to me. So she
starts tearing down the road like a monster truck and just crush-
ing people. She’s crushing cars as she passes. It was very chaotic
and unexpected and went on for a while. This led to the weird
hotel at night.
Then we’re in this house, or hotel room. And we’re all being
super sneaky for some reason. I notice that the cops are at the
neighbors. So I know it is time to get going. I tell them we’re go-
ing to likely have to leave out the window. I speak to Asia for a
moment as I’m about to drop down from the window. She puts a
cigarette in my mouth. Two, actually, but the second one falls to
the ground outside, the grass. The drop wasn’t bad. It was like I
had done it before. Then I dropped to the yard outside and I was
now at the front office of the hotel that I was at, and it was very
late at night. I was in sweatpants with no shoes or socks. And had
to walk very nonchalantly down the street so as to avoid suspi-
2397
cion despite eagerly attempting to escape. I found the other ciga-

rette in the grass on my way out, too.
But I had been here in this neighborhood before, and I knew

that this was a bad place and that the people wouldn’t take to
me. As soon as people spotted me out the window there would
be problems. Maybe not immediately, but there was something
weird about my circumstances and environment. So I wandered
through these dark streets under lamplights through this little
private development until I reached an arcade.
I remember that when I saw the cops at the neighbors I had to do

all sorts of things in order to escape. First of all, the room had to
be at least somewhat clean before I left. I considered stealing the
iPod mini sitting by the hotel computer and I wondered what
I’d even use it for. Then I had to unplug the large flat television
which was by the window, blocking my escape route. And it had
so many plugs in it. I set it down nearby and then opened the
window. I don’t remember what this place was, but when I saw
the cops next door, or first I heard them... I went and alerted my
mother and then my father. But my father was doing something
with the door locked, so I couldn’t get into his room and had
to whisper it through the door after trying the knob, which was
locked. The neighbors were reporting suspicious activity I sup-
pose.
READY
I was at my house in Londonberry. And Nanny and Poppop and
KY were coming over. And we hadn’t seen KY in a while. And
when I had last seen her she was around thirty. So now I was
thirty and she was still thirty. She was supposedly from Den-
mark which I didn’t know. And I was like “Ooooh, like King Di-
amond.” (Why the hell all of the King Diamond dreams lately?)
It was a weird issue that I couldn’t speak. I kept wondering what

would happen with that. I spent the whole dream getting ready
in my room. She emailed me early on in the night with details
about her and links to her music and my goal was to reskins (?)
before I went downstairs but it seemed I wouldn’t get the chance.
I kept putting it off, stupidly. While opting to clean my room
and do up my outfit. I was putting on nice black pants and black
button down shirt. Maybe a hat. I even had this weird pin that
went into my wrist band but I didn’t know if I wanted to wear
it. It was like a spike so sharp it almost cut me. I guess I was at-
tracted to her and I was really nervous even though I saw on her
music page that she was married, yet that didn’t really lower my
nervousness.
At one point I went into where Asia's Londonberry room was.

Since all of this took place in Londonberry. And I was talking
with this weird middle aged guy. About King Diamond and
Mercyful fate. He said a couple of the album names wrong but I
didn’t correct him. I was thinking of wearing a fatal portrait shirt
but decided to put the black button down shirt over top of it.
Woke up and went back to sleep to continue the dream. Uncle

Jamie was here this time, along with the rest of them. And I came
out and realized no one had eaten. Everyone was waiting for me
2399
to eat. It was midnight. Uncle Jamie walked up stairs in front of

me and tried to trip me. Something about the stock market and
how stupid it is and how it should be abolished because it’s all
based on chance and chance based stuff is what puts the wrong
people ahead. I don’t know, I might be hallucinating.
WAVES
I was at my grandparent’s old New Jersey house and I went walk-
ing down the street wearing a large, thick blanket from my bed...
walking down their old street where all the dogs would be... and
I remember getting in a conflict with my mother when I came
back or before I left (or both). At one point I ditched the blan-
ket in the brush during my walk and opted to get it on the re-
turning trip if it was still there. I don’t remember when and how
I met up with K. I just know that I was going back and forth be-
tween public and home. I sort of remember a restaurant setting
early on... like a fast food restaurant... and I don’t think I’m con-
fusing it with the scene at the end. But I don’t remember what
happened.
Later on KK was over my house. We were looking through an

old photo album and I saw a photograph of him and his wife
and I was like “Oh, of course, aren’t you married!” As I had for-
gotten the entire time to talk about that and I couldn’t believe
no one had brought it up, but I immediately realized there was
a problem and he said “Well, yeah. Kinda... but we’re experienc-
ing problems at the moment,” and that was sad because I wanted
to talk about my memories of how they met and whatnot and I
had a lot of nice things to say, but I felt it wouldn’t be appropri-
ate to say them in these circumstances. He got up a few minutes
later and started doing a load of laundry in the utility room, so
I went over with him and asked where his old black beanie hat
was. He explained that it had gone missing and he didn’t know,
but he thinks it got torn up by a dog or something because he re-
membered finding shreds around his place. That saddened me as
well.
2401
For a lot of the dream we were walking and talking.
By the end of the dream we were like “Do you want to go walk
some more or do you want to drive around or go eat or what?”
And we decided that instead of walking the same route as before,
we would drive to some public trail and walk that and take in
some new scenery. I remember that I had my hair in a ponytail,
which was strange, and I was wearing a shirt with a water pitcher
design on it in a white color and it was like a girly cut shirt so
I remember thinking that I looked feminine between the hair
and the shirt. I took the rubber band or whatever out of my hair
and let down my pony tail and had long hair. We were watch-
ing a movie at the time... it was a bizarre musical called Waves or
something like that... and it was just people surfing on waves and
singing... but a lot of them were songs we knew... like emo songs
from the early noughts. It was weird.
At the end of the dream there were all of these homeless people
sitting at a table. It started off with two or three guys sitting there
with a piggy bank, conversing with one another. As time went
on, more and more people started to show up. People showed
up and would reach across the table and shake each other’s hand.
They would carry on with their small talk, asking how everyone
was doing. Someone asked who they were still waiting on, and
a guy was like “Never mind that, let’s get started.”And one guy
commented about feeling like a ninety-year old toilet seat or
something and everyone giggled politely. Then the guy who
looked like a meth addict opened the piggy bank and took out
all the change and sat there counting it. Someone asked where all
the money came from but no one answered. I guess they were all
gonna go out to eat or something.
PRAYER SERVICE
I remember sitting in a prayer service beside Isaac, and I think
that Alex was seated directly in front of me in the pews (Isaac
was at my left and I was at the end of the aisle, on the right-hand
side). I had somehow convinced the church authorities to play
the Arachnoïd album during the service and the people trusted
me that it was a worship CD. Even while it was playing nobody
seemed alarmed by what they were hearing, so it was the longest
hour of my life as I just sat there trying to hold in a laugh while
a congregation of people were all bowing reverently to this crazy
French avant-prog.
When I got home I was followed into my basement by a little

boy, who was dark-skinned, and he offered to help me find some-
thing I had lost in my basement. Then my basement became larg-
er, like a factory, and a woman showed up and cautioned us all
about the spiders in the corner and how they will surely kill us if
they think we are a threat.
2403
CHARISMA
After that weird dream where I was up on a clifftop with my fam-
ily and had stayed over night. Then at the end all of us ended up
sinking in the ocean or nearly so. I think I saved my family from
sinking.
My dad went to church and I went with him. He had to be there

early for worship practice. So very few people were there and I
got to roam the halls as usual before the people started arriving.
At first I went into the bathroom and for a second I feared I
walked into woman’s room, because I saw a long haired person
and then looked around and saw a purple door, and my reaction
offended them, since they had thought I was calling them girly.
It was indeed a guys rooms. So I’m like hoooo don’t worry I used
to have long hair for a while and I totally looked girly. Then he
left. I pissed. Came out and there was a television mounted on
the wall of the bathroom that was playing Fox News. I turned
it off by switching to a music channel or some such and I won-
dered how long it would be until anyone noticed. I got in a cou-
ple short interactions with people but they all left me annoyed.
I think there was something about the fact that I was wearing a
hoodie where the image on the back displayed the channel I had
changed the tv to, so I realized it might give me away as the per-
son who changed the channel
Then I went back outside after a little while. Night fell. I sat
out front on a rail by the entryway steps. And this young attrac-
tive couple came over and started this charismatic spiel, Asking
questions and promoting something. Very weird and Christian.
Looked like fake tan California weirdos. And the girl would just
occasionally pipe in with these comments but I couldn’t make
2404
out what she was saying so I would just smile. They kept do-
ing these weird things. A little too charismatic but I was friend-
ly anyway. Like they just had this preachy progressive attitude
like rise up! The lord doesn’t care where you come from! I re-
member my mother showed up at one point and went walking
into the door but first she looked back at me with this face and
might have said something like “Oh, what is this?” Then when
she walked away the woman said “is that your mother?” But I
said the word mother at the same time and nodded. Then this
other girl came by and these two people called her over and did
to her basically what they tried to do to me. This little charismat-
ic healing session. It was weird but I can’t describe it. And I was
just sitting on the rails watching. And at this point I looked like I
was a part of their group to any newcomers or onlookers. When
church finally started they had to go in, but they went around
back, to an alternate entrance, which made me think they were
involved in youth ministries or something since that was the area
where the junior high was. I had all sorts of things with me since
I had come to church straight from a hotel or something. I had
notebooks and pornography and a camera and maybe a dosage
bowl, and I remember thinking that I’m going to sit here with
my notebook and write the thing that exposes Christianity for
what it is, and it was such a strange feeling that I was sitting
here in the parking lot doing it. And when those people gath-
ered around me I wondered what they would say to one day learn
that I was not one of them; to learn that I was someone who the
church would one day hold up as an evil and dangerous man sim-
ply because of my own beliefs and the message that I proclaim.
I went walking to my dad's van to store all of my stuff so that I

could take just my notebook and go walking out back in the dark
and I wondered if I would run into those people again since I was
heading in that area around the side of the building. For some
reason I thought they might be interested in what I had to say.
WET SHIRT
My father came into my room and sat beside me on my bed,
which was very weird since he has not been in my bedroom in
about a decade or longer. He sat down with the expectation of
watching something. I got the impression that it was the middle
of the night and he couldn’t sleep, as he was shirtless and wear-
ing pajama pants as if he was giving up, if temporarily, on trying
to sleep. I tried to pull up a video online called Kissing Hank’s
Ass, and I gave him a brief explanation though not so much that
he would object to watching it, but it wouldn’t load, and he got
frustrated and eventually went to leave. As he was walking out I
began to grow fearful that he had brought germs or sickness into
my space, as I hadn’t checked him beforehand.
Later on, possibly the next day, my father and I tried to go to an

amusement park, but we arrived too late and it was dark and the
lots were empty. I thought it was 6 something at night and the
guy at the gate wouldn’t let us in. There were other people in the
park but at a certain time at night no new people could enter,
people could only leave, and I said I thought that was only after
eight. He says “It IS after eight,” and I try to tell him that it’s on-
ly 6 something, but I hold up my phone clock or whatever and
it was like 9:18 and I thought “Oh, damn. So we were dejected,
and the parking lot was almost empty. All stands closed up, ex-
cept for one offering t-shirts and there may have been one offer-
ing snacks and funnel cake stuff nearby. We went to the t-shirt
stand that was being run by someone named Syrinx or some-
thing like that and I think I was supposed to know them from
somewhere but I don’t think they recognized me and I wondered
if I even wanted to say anything with my father standing there.
Didn’t get anything and went back home. Or we went to the
2407
place where mother and possibly Asia were at though I don’t re-
ally remember Asia at this point at all.
We were at some house, this family. My parents were friends with

this woman. They just sat in the kitchen talking.
I got soaking wet so they let me wear one of their shirts. The
shirt had to do with a book, so it showed a cover image. After I
came back in from getting soaked... I don’t remember what hap-
pened. My dad and I did something in her backyard that got
us soaked after coming back from the amusement park like we
walked through the sprinklers by accident or something.
We had dinner... our family and theirs... the woman had two sons
that seemed to be in their early twenties but I didn’t really talk to
them. I was pretty much off on my own most of the time.
After that I went in by myself into the living room and looked
through her movie collector sets, mostly titles from really long
ago that didn’t interest me but the box shapes and displays were
pretty unique... specialty shapes reflecting aspects of the movies
themselves and they were set up nicely.
Then I went to sit on the couch and grabbed a book. I could just
barely see a sliver of the kitchen from where I was sitting, along
with someone sitting in it... and I would occasionally overhear
them saying something that seemed to reference me. Not suspi-
ciously so. Pretty normal sounding conversations. Like, I remem-
ber overhearing what I thought to be the woman saying “Oh, he
can keep it,” referring to the fact that I had to borrow the shirt,
since my mother was apologizing for the water and that I had to
borrow clothes and whatnot. The woman didn’t mind.
Later in the dream, while my parents were off doing something

else, the lady came into the room I was in and was showing me
around. She climbed atop this very high and unstable wall unit
and was asking me questions and I was trying to give her inspir-
ing answers. She was talking about occupations and things she
always wanted to do but never got the chance, so I was telling
her to do them and trying to think of novel ways to be able to
achieve them. She was rocking back and forth on the wall unit
and the whole thing was viewed at a weird angle. It was an in-
teresting scene but the specifics of our conversation are blurry to
me.
After this my parents were getting ready to leave. I was hungry

and they had already put away the food that was on the table, so
I sneakily opened their cabinets and went in for a thing of chips,
like Pringles, grabbed a stack and was going to go eat them in the
bathroom in privacy. I felt very sneaky though and I was contem-
plating leaving money on the dresser of one of the two sons out
of guilt for the chips and the shirt. Then one of the sons starts
fussing with the bathroom door not realizing I’m in there, and
he starts to use some method to unlock it, thinking it was a mis-
take that it was unlocked. Then he finally opens it to me and he’s
like “Oh” And I told him I’m pissing but I’ll be right out, but
for some reason he didn’t see the need to leave and just starts
wandering around the bathroom... which was a pretty large bath-
room of the sort you would see in a suite, and it’s connected to a
bedroom. I’m standing over the toilet as if I’m trying to urinate
and he’s on the other side of the room and dons a helmet and
starts walking around with a helmet. So I switched to a second
toilet on the opposite side of a table or divider and tried to uri-
nate but I didn’t actually need to.
When I returned home I was looking on my Instagram account

and I had received two comments. I must have sent out two
friend requests and they accepted, but I immediately regretted
it because I was so eager for more followers that I allowed poor

quality people who didn’t actually care about me or my offering...
They were named Aaron and Tyler. I figure that they were sup-
posed to be the two brothers from the house that I just got back
from. And my most recent post looked like some Kabbalah im-
age, like an occult diagram, even though I think it was proba-
bly supposed to be a reference to the hero’s journey/monomyth.
And both commented on the image, with both comments begin-
ning similarly, with the word “Oh.”
The first, from Aaron, was like “Oh, this thing.”
And then Tyler said “Oh boy” or something like that which
made me think they were unaware of and uncomfortable with
my mysticality and I was trying to think of what to do about
it, so I was regretted having added them and thought there’s no
purpose to having more ‘friends’ or readers if with each one I
just become less and less comfortable with sharing myself and the
things I want to say.
BOMBWOMAN
I was in Walmart for a while. Jay was sending me a bunch of text
messages. I walked around while my father was finishing up the
shopping. I was walking through the store singing falsetto and
it was very strange. Lucid strangeness. I think it was a Heatwave
song that I was singing. I was stalling while my father finished
checking out. I was walking back and forth. He ran into a guy
named Frank who was based on that guy we knew from church
many years ago with the slick hair and bugged-out eyes and my
father was trying not to encounter him so he was kind of hiding,
staying back, near the customer service area. It was around then
that I saw the “bomb lady” standing by the entrance. I passed
her as I was walking toward my father and time seemed to slow
down. It was horribly creepy, and I was still singing at the time, so
my song became more nervous and the lyrics changed to where I
started singing loudly about how she was standing there and try-
ing to warn everyone, and suddenly everyone vanished or some-
thing of that sort. When I say bomb lady, I am referring to a
woman who wasn’t normal... she was made of fire or bomb parts
or something really freaky... I’m not describing it well at all, but it
felt supernatural... like she was just this exploding demon in dis-
guise. It was startling. She was just standing stilly at the entrance
of the store, like in the area where you usually see the greeters,
and she was just staring.
I made it out of the store with a small group of people. We got

in a crammed and tiny car. Very difficult to fit inside and diffi-
cult to drive. We drove to this little Hotel that felt like a storage
unit. Inside there were bookcases and tables of children’s books
and games. I went “Oooh, Arthur,” because I recognized a book
from my childhood. We were taken there by a middle aged lady.
2411
I was worrying when entering the building due to how this was
all playing out and fearing that we would all end up locked in the
apartment. I was the last one into the building since I needed to
find something I dropped in the car seat, and I partially expect-
ed something bad to occur before I even got there; like getting
locked out. But that didn’t happen. I got in and we all sat around
talking. Well, one girl spoke about her injuries. Someone asked
how they happened. She said they were “mutual” and “consensu-
al.” Implying something sexual. Where she ended up hurting her-
self after being thrown into some furniture. It was difficult to lis-
ten to. I may have also liked her a little bit. My sister was also pre-
sent among that group of people, and while that girl was telling
that defiant sexual story my sister was in the background sort of
validating and admiring it in this really immature way. She (my
sister) had a super hoarse voice and was broken down and just
sounded very burnt out and immature. I was with Asia earlier on
as well in this playground which had tubes and things to crawl
into but that was at the beginning of the dream and possibly in
another dream altogether.
THE RAZING OF THE SKY
There was a man or anthropomorphic creature in the sky. He
was destroying all the earth. The roadways were ripping apart.
Homes and structures were dissolving. Little preternatural cy-
clones were descending from the sky. Everyone was in a panic as
they packed up their material items and left in their cars in an at-
tempt to escape the sky. I was baffled by how they could still see
value in their perishable possessions at this point. While those
around me were loading up their cars as so, I was standing in the
main room assembling a set of highly abstract elements, or prin-
ciples, which appeared like elaborate and beautiful geodes. There
were four of these elements and they corresponded to the col-
ors of the alchemical process: black, white, yellow and red. My
methods of creation were especially profound and I recall being
amazed at the idea upon waking up, although I accidentally fell
back asleep afterwards and the details have since become foggy.
At one point I went downstairs to fetch my long coat, but I came
back up and resumed my work. It was an intense scene, but I was
not stressed. I do recall how, while constructing my principles, a
king, or some type of president, stepped into my house and stood
at my side while I worked, even as everyone else ran around in
a panic. My family was long gone at this point. My whole block
was vacant. This man, however, just stood there smiling and nod-
ding as he watched what I was doing. At the end, as I was nearly
finished with my task, I stepped out onto the outside deck where
I had a clear view of the man in the sky who could be seen on the
distant horizon. He was impressively massive and sky-colored,
looking like something plucked out of Greek mythology, and I
recall that I was unafraid. I was waiting for him to address me; to
judge me.
2413
BARRACKS
At the beginning I was in my Pine Hill house staring out the
kitchen window. My father was leaving soon for some work-re-
lated thing. I was fixated on our car which was down by the
street, because I knew it had become a pattern in dreams where
a shadowy person would emerge after my father’s departure and
do something to the car. It was a very creepy premonition. So I
waited by the window. Then I turned away for a few minutes to
speak with Asia. When our front door opened and these people
came in to take us away to take part in some weird survival com-
petition
Everyone had to stay in these barracks for a total of five days. I

call them ‘barracks’ but it was a large hall or room located in the
center of a Walmart, though the rest of the store was blocked off
and it was so dark out there that people didn’t venture out ‘cause
it was filled with these nightmare machines fueled by imagina-
tion. They prevented people from stealing food and whatnot.
But there were all sorts of different things picking people off.
And different ways to earn points. Weird survival horror. Asia
was there but we didn’t see each other much and hung out in dif-
ferent areas.
After getting settled in I went and sat on a bed or couch until

some guy got on and pushed me off. I became very confronta-
tional in reaction to his disrespect. We shouted at each other. I
told him that he was on my radar and he’s fucked. I continued
to shout at him from across the room as I walked away, though I
never saw him again after this point. Then I remember hanging
out by the vending machines at the beginning while looking for
2414
four quarters to get a snack. Could only find three and struggled
to tell if one was a nickel.
Like two hundred or more people in the barracks initially.
Next I went and took a seat on the floor, up against the wall, with
all of my items and cosmetics and toiletries scattered in front of
me. There was a guy to my left and two girls to my right. This was
when the girl was checking me out, and my lips. Totally knew
that I would end up losing all my toiletries as possessions before
the end of this stay. The girl and I kissed.
I was with that girl who wanted to be alone. And when she wan-
dered off I was like screw this. Her friend was a jerk to me, too.
I remember when she met me I was licking my lips. My lower lip
got stuck. She had a list of scents and flavors she would not allow
me to eat before kissing me.
At one point we all decided to collectively venture out of the bar-

racks into the shadowy parts of the Walmart, though not fully.
There was some skid-row type alley between the light and the
dark areas where all of the tough individuals and punks hung
out. We sat there for a while discussing the hazards and dangers
and if it was worth going out to get more snacks since the ma-
chines were empty...
I remember calling out to a programmer guy when we were all

sitting in the alley between the barracks and Walmart, asking
“Why can’t they just insert a line of code at the end such as to a
reasonable degree so that nothing exceeds reasonability and this
carnage doesn’t keep happening,” because kids were being killed
off by the machines that roamed the aisles in the shadows, one of
which looked an awful lot like the Metallian on the cover of Ju-
das Priest’s ‘Defenders of the Faith’ album, and it scared the hell
out of me, though I never saw one up close. He said good idea!!!
I briefly seemed impressive in front of the girl. Then I blew it by
fumbling “I don’t know, I’m not a programmer.”
She soon wandered off into the Walmart side. I tried to stop her.
I got close and asked “Is there anything I can do to help? Are you
okay?” But she was so frustrating and so was her girlfriend. So
mean to me. So when she left I got up and wandered back to the
barracks. Her friend tried to call me out and say mean things to
make me feel cowardic but I just didn’t even look up as if not re-
alizing she meant them for me.
I returned to the barracks. Went into that hallway With soft

fabric hills to climb. There were three others ahead of me—one
of whom was notably fat. Had to fit through narrow spaces. I
pushed myself ahead. Our entry triggered these skeleton crea-
tures. They were small but they chased us. Only I got out alive.
Had to go through an obstacle course. I completed one task and
got points like a game. But it was at the end of this that I called
out to to be let out of this place
I witnessed the Thummim at the end: a sort of psychedelic goat-

man glowing gold. He was walking through a small room adja-
cent to the room that I was in. I only saw him passing by the
doorway repeatedly, pacing slowly, but did not get close. I was so
mesmerized and amazed. One of the most incredible sights ever
witnessed. It was like his constitution was of a different art style
than that of reality itself. I went to him and asked him about the
sickness. If people had been vetted for sickness. Because I was
afraid to catch a virus. And he told me I could pack up and go. It
was somber but I said ‘I’m glad I came here even just to see your
likeness’.
While leaving I saw my score and I had only made it 79%

through the challenge. And ventured out only once beyond the
barracks. So I barely did anything. One day of five staying here.
But I was fine with that. A group of people then sang a song
about my leaving but it was mean, like “gooood riddance” and I
didn’t understand why they disliked me so.
My father was three hours away and I now needed to call him to
be picked up so I was very frustrated. I went to look for Asia to
see if she was still taking part in all this. Realized I had lost my
wallet when I was with Thummim or around that point running
from the skeleton guys. Had all my ID in it. I asked a boy if he
saw a wallet. He kept pointing to a place I had never been. I tried
turning the lights on in a dark room but they took minutes to
warm up and it was weird how they gradually came on.
RAID
I was in a theater and Asia showed up. She was super upset and
stoned and her husband had left her or disappeared and she was
going on and on about it. She blamed it on something I did, be-
cause some supply got cut off and she had to leave and he re-
turned to a gang and she said that he popped back in every so
often, like this morning, to get stuff, but then would return to
the gang and didn’t actually care about her after all because he
was just a narcissistic sociopath. She was upset and acting idiot-
ic but I hugged her. We didn’t have any interest in the show we
were seeing so I asked her if she wanted to just leave and go some-
where to talk. We made it back to our house. It didn’t look famil-
iar, as in it didn’t resemble any house that I’ve actually lived in (in
my waking life). Soon after getting in, the cops or FBI showed up
looking for her and she was like “Oh shit,” and the dream ended.
2418
PRISON CHURCH
I awoke atop some wall in the middle of a city, or perhaps a
hotel balcony, or that’s what it was supposed to be, and I was just
thinking “Hey... why not call WT while I’m here?” So I called up
a friend to join me for breakfast. I was a bit fuzzy-faced from not
shaving and that made me slightly self-conscious but he came by
and we ordered food at a table right there. I figured I would just
stay silent and not speak, though every so often I would speak
a word and more and more words were slipping out of me as
I thought “Why not, what’s the harm.” I didn’t end up touch-
ing my food, and when the waitress came by she seemed offend-
ed and pointed at my plate. I was unsure, because I had ordered
something like an avocado, but it came wrapped in this angel
hair pasta sort of thing which looked very fancy, and I honestly
couldn’t figure out if this was what I ordered. After she left I end-
ed up eating it and enjoying it. WT and I ended up sitting there
on the platform and conversing for a while.
Later on I attended a church, where some incident occurred

involving immigrants or Pakistani people and they got turned
down for something and it was a spectacle. I was really upset to
see how the church treated them. It was racist and uncalled for. I
followed the immigrants most of the way out of the building be-
fore coming back and I just remember the look I gave the church
officials. I was really, really upset with them. The church then be-
gan morphing into a prison. I started sneaking around and run-
ning through halls trying to understand what was really going
on at this church. When I got to the lowest floors of the prison/
church there were these people in hazmat suits walking through
dark corridors.
2419
I believe that was where I met that girl—who may have been
an immigrant. She later morphed into Jeiezza, but in the begin-
ning she looked more like the Pakistani immigrants. I remem-
ber going through all those hallways of the prison with that girl,
attempting to escape. And going outside and escaping into the
night. I remember as we were leaving the prison, there was an-
other person with us. I’m not sure who, but they combined with
the girl and took the shape of some appliance in order to con-
serve energy, and I wished that I could have shifted shape too.
I took a ton of drugs and stimulants to keep awake through the

night, knowing that we had a lot of running and driving to do.
Things started to get weird at one point, possibly due to the
drugs. There was a part where I was a collection of bones and I
fell apart in my partner’s hands as she was running through the
city.
Oh, and when leaving the prison, it was like leaving a garage. We
found weapons and things all piled up on the right side of the
garage by the door. It resembled the Charldon workroom. And
when people came to follow us... oh geez. We maimed someone.
Like, there was a challenge, a duel, and when he lost to me I cut
his hand off and then killed him. Whoever lost was to lose their
hand or something. He came in as we were leaving: a security
man armed with weird weapons.
The topic of Aladdin came up at several points as we drove/

strode through the marketplace.
Walking through that weird quiet neighborhood. I saw a pond

or stream filled with ducks and it seemed to me like an instance
of deja vu. There was also a scene involving a dog. A dog followed
after us in the dark as we left the prison and I had to shoot it with
a stun gun maybe ten times.
I was singing my songs in the car, but I got bored while doing
so. I felt funny but I also felt free, and I said something about a
demonic goat. She responded by saying that she’s not a demon-
ic goat, and I said “No, I was talking about myself... while I was
singing.” We traveled several times throughout the night, going
from place to place. We passed by this crazy survivalist in the
market who gave us a Spanish Aladdin box set through the car
window, which is funny since I had lost my other box set when
escaping prison. The set which I owned was a limited edition
with a large chipboard box, but this Spanish one was a standard
edition with a digipak case. Jeiezza insisted on reading the whole
back cover in Spanish right there as we sat parked beside that guy
and she just sounded so funny and eccentric but I really wanted
to get going.
At the end we were in the back of a car driving down the road
and I had taken soooo many drugs that I wasn’t even tired and I
was just so comfortable laying there holding onto her body. She
was so soft. And no one was driving the car, but it was some-
how still driving as we laid in the back. I just remember laying my
head against Jeiezza and her body was so, so, so soft, and I was so
happy and comfortable to be there and didn’t know why I hadn’t
been holding her all along.
BASSLINE
Last night I dreamt that I was trapped within a Mick Karn
bassline.
2422
AD GARDENIA
I was taking part in some strange outdoor game or sport. There
were all these seats and water guns and two teams made up of
two families. My family was all on one side, and another fami-
ly was across the field. I remember I wasn’t wearing my hat, hav-
ing left it by my family, and I was having a cigarette in a chair
that was seated near the mid way line, or closer to it than the
others on my team. The game itself had a red light green light
element, like the other team could only move when a certain
amount of people weren’t watching, but after I had finished with
my cigarette I noticed they started moving in quick all of the
sudden. The whole team was approaching. It wasn’t some serious
sport, only like a weird family fun day; but it was still semi-in-
tense. So as they approached our side I got out of my chair, went
to grab my hat and abandoned the festivities, fleeing down the
trails in the nearby woods while the teams battled it out. I wasn’t
afraid I just didn’t feel like playing any more. I remember on my
walk through the woods I was drawing in my notebook or writ-
ing. Eventually after many twists and turns I came upon a side
that said something like Ad Gardenia thought I can’t remember
the exact words and it pointed me toward a remote little house.
When I saw the name I thought it sounded familiar and that I
had heard people mention this place. I was expecting that an old
man lived there.
I wandered into this strange house at the end of the path. It was
dimly lit and very quiet, if not for the sounds coming from the
bathroom at the other end of the house—a straight shot from
the entryway. I heard the water running as if someone was get-
ting out of the shower, but then I realized they might have been
getting in. The house was fairly dim. I walked around a bit. I
2423
waited for a few minutes for someone to come out so I could ask
them some questions, but then it seemed they weren’t coming
out so I walked back toward the entrance and I went and took a
sip from the sink faucet in this cool little kitchen counter island.
Then I walked out. It was such a cool little place. I left and went
walking down the trail a little ways but then it was getting late
and I realized I didn't know my way back, so I turned around and
went back to the house but now the lights were almost complete-
ly off. Maybe it was just because it was getting close to night now,
but I couldn’t see anything. I took a few steps forward into the
dark house, but no sooner than I realized the water was off did I
sense a presence in front of me and I was seized by the shoulders.
A voice then began speaking to me. It was a girl’s voice. Her

hands guided me over to a nearby couch and I was laid on my
back, though not so forcefully. It happened very naturally, al-
though I didn’t really know what was going on. She introduced
herself. We had barely begun talking when she began to kiss me.
I was so confused. I couldn’t even see her at the time. It was too
dark. I recall her saying that she was very tall, and I assumed that
she was over seven feet tall for some reason, but it sure didn’t feel
like it based off of how her body felt, so I don’t know why she
said so, unless it was meant as a sarcastic comment in response to
my questions.
This part was so strange, because the kissing was so beautiful and
pleasurable but it never got too deep just because I didn’t feel
right about doing this to her and so it was more so her kissing
me than me kissing her, but it felt so nice, like a dream. It was
so thrilling when she took hold of me in the darkness and I
couldn’t even see her... ‘cause that’s just not the sort of turn that
dreams normally take in this setting. I remember how weird it
was when I noticed the faucets were off. And that whoever was
in the shower was now done. What a weird progression.
She kept kissing me, and she was saying “Do whatever you want
with me,” after introducing herself. She didn’t seem to care who I
was or what I wanted, and I kept pulling back to say “I don’t want
that. I want to speak with you. I want to get to know you. Will
you come with me and show me how to get home?” The two of
us then got up and went toward the entrance and out the door,
and in that moment I caught my first glimpse of her, realizing
that the most beautiful woman stood before me. I was shocked. I
wanted her to come with me to my home, and for a fleeting mo-
ment in time it seemed that was what was going to happen. She
stepped out with me, but almost immediately we heard a noise
from deep in the house and she panicked. And she says to me
“Oh no, my supervisor,” or something to that effect, connoting
someone who was in charge of her. She panicked and went back
inside, quickly going in to retrieve the notebook and whatever
else I left behind, which she hastily threw at me before shutting
the door—at least partially. So now I’m standing there think-
ing “This doesn’t sound good.” I feared for her and had no idea
what was going on. Someone else was in there with her and she
couldn’t leave because of some command or responsibility. And
as much as I wanted to go in for her, I was afraid, and I didn’t
want to stand in front of the door because that could get her (or
me) in trouble if I was discovered. So I reluctantly took my note-
book and I went walking down the path from which I came. I
passed through beautiful wooded areas. I couldn’t stop thinking
about her. I also left my phone or something at her house but
wasn’t able to go back and get it. That may be why I was now lost.
On the walk back I took a stroll through a scenic woodland path

which took me past a lake and eventually led me into a shopping
mall. There was a selection of free books by the entrance. I think

the books were free to take but I didn’t take any though I made
a mental note of it for next time. I also noted that there were
several of the same books scattered throughout, like there were
three copies of “Where the Sidewalk Ends” scattered through
the shelves, all in different condition, and I noticed since that
one was so thick and stood out... which is weird because I’ve nev-
er read this book and know nothing about it. I wasn’t even sure if
it was actually a book and had to look it up after waking up. Not
far beyond the bookshelf, at the border between the woods and
the mall, stood a security guard whose presence unnerved me, as
though I was guilty of some offense. And then I went through
the mall out the other end. It opened up into this nice area that
felt like a college campus. I was going to take a seat by one of the
many silver seats built into the guard rail but then I saw anoth-
er guy was about to take that seat so I kept walking. I sat down
a little further. I crossed my right leg over my left and took out a
pencil, drawing a line from the top of the page down to about the
midpoint on a piece of paper, Almost as if swiping on my phone.
Then the guy across from me, on a bench on the other side of
the sidewalk, alerted me and a guy near me said “bug.” I didn’t
know at first what he was saying and thought it didn’t concern
me but then I saw another guy to my left get up and move. Then
the guy across from me was still staring and said “And it’s got
some pinkish hairs... that can’t be good.” I got up and checked,
and there was a large insect underneath my seat or close to it,
prompting me and a guy near me to get up and move. It was large
and hairy and definitely had some aposematic coloring. Spider-
like appendages. I wasn’t scared, I just disliked that I now had to
find another seat. I then woke myself up in order to write in my
dream journal before forgetting the details relating to the girl in
the woods.
NEO-EGYPT
I was not able to write down the dream in full today due to my
throat problems, but there was one part I remember in particu-
lar: I had been driven out into the middle of nowhere. My father
had exited the vehicle and gone off ahead. I waited for a while
before leaving the truck, myself. I started walking off down the
road in the darkness. I became thirsty and sprinted back to the
truck in the hope of finding a water bottle. Then I went back out
after finding a bottle beneath the driver’s seat. Walking down a
dark, silent road. Not a highway. Country road. During my walk,
in the distance there was this illuminated scene which just sud-
denly appeared from nowhere... glowing neon golden pyramids
and similar... bright and distant and blurry... it was utterly mag-
ical glowing in the night. They soon dimmed and disappeared,
like a mirage, and I continued my walk through the darkness.
It was so, so magical, though. Maybe one of the most breath-
taking sights ever witnessed in a dream and I don’t imagine I’ll
soon forget that moment when they first illuminated in the dark
distance. There was just the sadness and mystery of a Kenneth
Anger movie, like Rabbit Moon or Pleasuredome.
2427
BILWANI
I was with Annie. There was a great sadness in the air, since I
knew we weren’t going to work out as a couple. I was in my
current bedroom, and I was asleep on the mattress on my floor
(where it used to be) with my father sleeping beside me, for some
unknown reason. In the middle of the night I snuck out of bed
and went over to the couch area where Annie was sleeping and I
climbed into bed with her, her back facing me, to comfort her or
something kind and positive, but I think she took it the wrong
way or she didn’t actually care for my attempts at kindness, so
there was this sadness in me to know that my effort was being
discarded. She left the room for some reason. Then her sister ap-
proached me. It wasn’t her real-life sister but looked like some-
one I knew as a kid. They had this weird bald spot on their head
and a strange covering, which they mentioned once. They got re-
ally close and seemed sensual and flirty. I admitted to her that
Annie and I were not going to work out and I was sad. She then
tried to kiss me and it was weird and I wasn’t repulsed by it, but I
always found a way to get out of it. It was just an odd and badly-
timed moment of sexual tension.
I was in this room, taking part in a ceremony with dozens of peo-

ple. It felt like the places wherein the services were held at church
camp. And at the end we took and ate the different things. I took
a plate outside thinking it was what I was supposed to do, think-
ing it mirrored the plate at the other end of the room. I called it
‘bilwani’ or something to that effect. It was a dessert. But then
I went over to the other side and they ate something different.
It was in cupcake paper and had a fire on it. I asked for one in-
stead. The fire started burning my wrapper so I kept blowing.
Afterwards I went to speak with the women near the other en-
2428
trance. I laughed at something and made a fart noise accidentally

with my mouth which had the older ladies cracking up... a ‘ph-
hhp’ sound. Then when I told someone about the bilwani plate
they looked shocked and didn’t say anything and just took it. I
was worried and I followed them asking what was wrong. I did
it by accident. When I followed them to the corner of the room
it simply seemed like they had found some missing part of some-
thing... they were a camera crew or something.
CANCELED ROAD TRIP
I was going on a road trip and then my father threw a scene
which caused the whole thing to end prematurely. Something oc-
curred when we stopped to get gas. It was my family plus WT.
And I was so upset.
Earlier on the five of us were going on a road trip. I remember

WT, Asia and I trying to figure out seating arrangement, Since
there were only two seats, So two people has to cram into one,
And dad wouldn’t let it be WT with Asia because of sitting so
close, so he said boys with boys, so me and WT had to cram into
a single bucket seat. I don’t remember what caused the conflict.
I don’t think it was the seating. But something occurred around
the time we stopped off at the gas station, like, at the very begin-
ning of the drive. And I said something my dad didn’t like and he
canceled the whole trip and took us all back home and we were
crushed. Then there were lots of talks with my mother trying to
get her to convince him and it was a very frustrating situation,
and I just stopped talking completely and grew very despondent.
Things became black and white; literally, the dream lost its color
for a while. And then my father announced that the whole trip
was off altogether. At first we thought there was hope to contin-
ue.
Later on a gathering of people was over, and they attempted to

converse with me but I wasn’t speaking. The first person to get
me to speak was Nanny who offered to take me out walking but
we just went into the front Charldon yard and walked around
the tree valley in the yard and I was talking about how hurt I was
by my dad’s actions. It was so troublesome.
2430
He eventually recanted and decided that we could resume the

trip, but we never got to do so before I awoke. I forget where the
trip was heading to. There was just so much disappointment and
anger in this dream. And fighting between my father and I. Wish
I could remember why he canceled it. It was something stupid.
Not even “disrespectful.” Just irritable and demanding too much
from me.
Later on I was in what was supposed to be Nanny and Poppop’s

house. There was a party going on. And there was this girl pre-
sent who seemed a bit young, as in a teenager, but she was very
nice and often tried to get my attention because she liked me so
I tried to go easy on her. And I remember that once the party
started dying down I went through the kitchen and she was sit-
ting by herself in a dark tv room doing some stuff so I went in
there and we began joking around about something, although
her mother showed up almost immediately, declaring that it was
bedtime and wanted to see us two separated, and she expected
that, so we were like okay, and first we pretended to listen. But
then the mother was suspicious so she followed me to the end
of the hallway to make sure I was going off to my own bed and
not just lingering around and waiting to go back to her daughter
once she went away, and so I had to act fast and really go into a
room and get on a bed and whatnot. And then the mother comes
in and throws on the light and starts an inquisition. Like “Why
this room? Why are you sleeping here?” Since I guess she wasn’t
buying the act.
I’m like “this is my grandparents house, I sleep here often.” And

I’m talking about how the furniture is old, the box spring bed
is super uncomfortable and if she would like to chip in then
she’s welcome. Then she sees some Department 56 statues on the
bookcase and gets sentimental at a certain thing that just looks
like a ceramic cookie jar, and I get her to explain her sentimen-
tality, and soon enough her hostility has subsided and we get to
talking. So now it’s me and the girl and the mother all sitting
around in this room just talking. And now the mother is going
through all the DVD’s on the shelf and I am trying to bond with
her over the films so I don’t get in trouble. And meanwhile that
girl was still hanging around and I could tell she even thought
higher of me now because of how I was dealing with the situa-
tion. And there were several times where someone would com-
ment about her and I would quickly stick up for her. Like “oh,
now I see why you bother to spend the night so many times.”
As if people were using the girl for the things she owns. And
I’d be like “or because she’s Amazing person.” But that sounds
kind of confusing, Because at some point this came to be seen as
her house, And I was defending the fact that people come here
for her and not her stuff. Hahah which almost goes against this
whole effort to make the scene more innocent by claiming it was
my grandparents house. Nonetheless she was very happy.
Poppop showed up at a couple points in the patio window.

PICKLE JAR
I was with WT for a while in the beginning. His place was just
very spacious and white, and we spent time in this room watch-
ing stuff. Oooh, I also remember at one point trying to sleep and
I was on the couch next to him and we had the television volume
up kind of high and it was playing music and his mom came in
and turned it down, although it looked like Alex K’s mom, and
also she barely even lowered the volume. I felt like I was in such
an annoying mood but I was so happy to see him since I thought
this would never be possible and I said as much. I was like “I can’t
believe I’m here. I haven’t been out of the house since 2018. But
I had trouble getting the exact date right in my drama, Having
said I knew I would never see anyone again. But here I am at your
place speaking to you. And it was really cool to be able to hang
out in person.” I think he went to work out at one point. We sat
on the couch talking for a bit in the morning.
I remember following him around into his room, being sort of

annoying as he was cleaning, and I was asking “As a child were
you all clean and proper with a nice haircut?” And he’s like “Oh
yeah.” And I go “Oh, I was the opposite.”
I remember something to do with ceiling fans. I was walking

around his place. It was so big, and I think there were spiders
hanging off of them, and I was walking through them?
Then I went over to the next door where a band was performing.
The singer was singing on a little warehouse stage. They were
preparing and doing equipment checks for a concert later. When
going in to watch a mic check rehearsal I saw brownies on the
table but feared what if someone put bad brownies in there so I
didn’t eat. Like marijuana brownies.
2433
And too many people standing in the doorway so when they

would move I would have to move. This is where it turned into
the store. When we came back in. It used to be WT’s home but
turned into a store. And I’m walking around figuring out what
to buy. I forget what the main item I wanted to buy was though.
Remember trying to walk through the store and everyone was

standing by the openings of the aisles talking and I had to get
through, and I was like “excuse me” but then weaseled through
two fat guys, accidentally elbowing one in the process, and I felt
bad, but he didn’t stop talking to his friend so I guess he didn’t
care.
Shortly after this point, that big tough guy who looked like the
actor who played Luigi in the 90’s Mario movie, and he was also
in Romeo and Juliette, came up to me. Forcing me to buy some
specific snacks. And I’m being a good sport about it ‘cause I don’t
fucking care, I’ve got money. So it ends up being kind of funny.
As he’s just guiding me around the aisles in a forceful way and
I’m narrating in a funny way “Oh... chips? Noooo. Pickles. Yes,
let's get us some pickles.” But the pickle jars were sooo much, and
the first one was the only one that wasn’t either open or dried
out.
At the end that guy dragged me over by my jacket. I had some-

thing in my hand: a jar of pickles. But the pickle jar was so tiny.
They only had tiny pickles. But this guy with me really wanted
some. And there were some Mt. Olive dill spears for like six dol-
lars a jar, “But I’m like that ain’t worth it. Let’s go to a real store
to get some real pickles.” I remember when he dragged me over
by the straps of my jacket and I slid across like fifty feet of floor
without moving a muscle.
I remember when the pickle man dragged me to the checkout,

my friends who were at the checkout looked up at what was hap-
pening and they laughed and were like what the hell is going on,
‘cause I’m being dragged across the floor without moving at all,
while holding a jar of pickles, and this tough guy is pulling me by
my jacket. At one point I was afraid my jacket would rip, because
it was an important jacket to me, but I kept that fear to myself
and it was fine.
Asia was there too and I said something to her when I went look-
ing for pickles but she had no clue what I was saying and seemed
really shy and had a lot of blush on her face.
After checking out the pickles and being on my own, all the peo-
ple I was with ran into these bathroom-like doors and the on-
ly one to not do so was Jeiezza so I ran after her and I hugged
her tight and said “Don’t go; wait until the others are back.” And
she said they all wanted to do this charade thing. So then the
doors began opening one by one to creepy sights (the doors were
opening by themselves, it felt like some haunted carnival attrac-
tion). The people were naked and pregnant and covered in paint.
It was some game apparently. I was just holding her tight saying
“Please wait with me until they’re back. And then once we leave
this place I’ll let you go and I’ll help you become anything you
want.” I said I’d give her all my ability as an artist, not just imagi-
nation but physical skill. I was just trying to convince her to stay
so that I didn’t have to be alone. Was this around the time where
my thoughts became so lucid and I started worrying I was get-
ting impatient and just wanting to wake up?
DREAM DINER
I was on the road with Isaac. We were taking a trip and needed to
stop for some reason (either food or restroom). It was only sup-
posed to take us a minute. We ended up at this very strange place
that had an Eastern feel. It was a diner, but parts of it were out-
side and looked like a little flea market going on on the lawn. A
tall middle eastern man walks up to me outside and hands me
a cold drink as I’m browsing. I say is it lemonade? He nods. I
thanked him even though I wasn’t planning on getting a drink
because I was wary of drinking too much on the trip and hav-
ing to take frequent pit stops. I asked him how much. He says
five dollars. I go to get five dollars from my pocket but he disap-
pears out of sight. So I go inside the Diner building and try to
leave it with whoever. But I can't find the guy at all. At this point
I find a little table set up in the corner of the eastern diner with
all of my stuff. Like four different notebooks of mine. And other
things that I had with me In the car, like a hat and whatnot. I sat
down without thinking anything of it. But it was really strange
and meant that the guys who worked here had gone out through
the car and got my stuff and brought them in here... for what rea-
son? I had five different notebooks... each for a different subject
and time of my life.
I’m writing in one of my notebooks. Some guy that works there...

seemingly lemonade man, comes peeking over my shoulder and
says he likes the crayon intricacies of the pictures. I said thanks
and went along with it. I didn’t want to tell him that it wasn’t
crayon, but all of the ink was natural, most of it taken from flow-
ers or blood.
2436
I stayed for a while, yet Isaac never came in. The atmosphere was
strange and growing stranger: monotonous, isolated and time-
less. Then I heard a commotion on the other side of the diner.
People yelling “Let us out! Let us out!” and “Let us wake up!” I
got up and I went over to them and realized this was some mag-
ical place. The people were keeping us locked inside this dream
dimension and wouldn’t let us out and people were finding out
and revolting. So I began to chant too. And the ringleader was
this bald man who looked like a famous rock frontman. And one
of the diner owners commented that even though we are all so
convinced that it’s a dream no one is really willing to act in out-
landish ways, because we’ve all still maintained our shame. And
this is keeping the diner magic strong. The belief that it is re-
al, even if we say otherwise. Our emotions are embarrassed. So I
tried to lead the way in weakening the spell. I materialized a hon-
ey bottle within my hands and began to squirt it on the face of
the bald ringleader as he spoke to us. And I turned to the guy to
my right and said “That’s funny. I’ve been listening to him since
I was thirteen (which isn’t even accurate) and I never thought I
would squirt honey on his face.” He didn’t do anything but kept
speaking while it just accumulated on his face. So then I looked
to the guy to my right and I had him leap into my arms and the
two of us ran off all funny down the hallway toward the restroom
or kitchen saying some suggestive lines about don’t bother us or
something. I was doing weird things like that that were both em-
barrassing and made no sense... causing a scene. I even gave my-
self a weird long robotic nickname which I now forget.
Then when I came back down the bathroom hallway I said “Oh
no, the spiders.” There weren’t actually spiders at the time but I
saw webs on the ceiling and I psyched myself (and everyone else)
out and suddenly the webs grew large and filled up with these
huge tarantulas. They were everywhere—in every crack of the
place—and I kept psyching us up so that these hideous things

would take place. Trying to break the spell of the diner. But peo-
ple thought I was taking my attempts too far, and right as I was
waking up someone made a Jumanji reference. Maybe it was I,
like “This is getting too Jumanji for me. I’m done with this.” (I
haven’t seen the new ones, so this is a reference to the original
film which I loved as a child)
FEED THE DEMON
There was a vortex within my house. I took off into a second lev-
el where I had to cross this landscape and cross the waters. Recall
is vague, but when I woke up I had the following words written
on a notepad:
Remove organs from your body in the hospital and feed it to the de-
mon standing nearby. I guess it’s the sexy thing to do.
2439
CRUSHED DOLL
I found a doll in a valley. It had been crushed and broken and
abandoned. I carried it over to a bridge where I laid it out and
examined it and took videos of it and then realized it still made
noise when triggered. It could sing. But its song was very bizarre.
The voice box was really screwed up so everything came out
strange. But I loved it and decided to keep it, so I put it in
my backpack and I walked back to where I had come from. I
returned to a strange night time cityscape where everyone was
dressed in suits and ties and running around shooting each other
with guns. I sort of just passed through the epicenter noncha-
lantly with my backpack and did not get hit. I returned to my
hotel room and took out the doll and just stared at it. It wasn’t
humanoid. It was an animal. But I don’t remember what, exactly,
it was supposed to resemble. Its limbs were long, so I want to say
that it was a rabbit or some such because of the ears, but I’m re-
ally not sure. It could have been a goat kid, which would make
sense from a symbolic angle.
2440
ELEVATOR
I was in a cell. I was flipping through the channels on a television
while my mother walked around in the background. I turned on
The Cosby Show, and after a minute or two I commented about
how this was the first time I had attempted to watch the show
since all of the scandals involving Cosby and I wasn’t sure that I
could ever sit through it and enjoy it as I used to (when I was a
kid). Then I left and entered some garage where I found a tarot
card on the floor beneath a tire and it was a very curious scene. I
cannot remember the card, unfortunately.
I then headed to a church, and I’m foggy on what occurred

therein, although I do remember some of the people in atten-
dance.
Afterwards I headed over to a cafeteria where I sat at a table and

ate alongside many others. It looked like a basic school or peni-
tentiary cafeteria. While looking for my drink, I reached out and
grabbed a can near the middle of the table thinking that it could
have been mine, prompting some deaf kid to stand up and at-
tempt to communicate with me that the drink I had taken be-
longed to someone at the adjoining table. I drank it anyway, not
getting the message, and all of these people sitting beside me all
had to communicate that with me and I guess I didn’t believe it.
I just saw the can in front of me... it was like an energy drink.
Then the deaf kid got up, took the can away from me and placed
it on the table across the aisle... about five feet to my right (since I
was at the end of the table). I had apparently pissed someone off
in the process because the next thing I know I’m having liquid
poured over my head from behind. I forget exactly how I react-
ed but I just sort of internalized it and instead of getting angry I
2441
became very strange... confrontational, yes, but in a very strange,

freaky way. I stood up and started doing weird things with my
voice and movement and thumbs and calling myself some ‘fonzy
machine’ or something funny with the word ‘fonzy’ in it. I was
basically malfunctioning. And everyone thought that the higher
ups would see me misbehaving on camera and I’d be in trouble,
but I didn’t give a shit. I was just being super bizarre with what
I was saying and how I was acting. When most people left the
cafeteria I sat with a group of four people, most of whom were
young girls, and I was still being hyper and weird. One girl began
singing, and when she let out a long sustained note I let one out
too and even though my voice was cracking and quivering a bit
I still matched the note and we held it for like three or four sec-
onds and it sounded amazing.
I then spent what seemed like hours riding around in a strange

elevator. For some of that time I was with others, but I also spent
some of that time alone. There were four disparate strata or levels
that were accessible by this elevator but most of them didn’t feel
like I should be there. The lowest level was like a hallway of office
rooms, like school or science offices or even prison, and I went
down there with two others... a man and a woman. But as soon
as we got down there and I had a look around at the hallways
I didn’t wish to continue and took the elevator back up, aban-
doning them. Not sure what happened to them. They continued
on. I remember when riding the elevator back up to the fourth
level it looked so amazing to be overlooking the place. It looked
like this fun theme park of a world—the fourth and highest level,
that is.
Before exiting I fixed my hat which was resting on the hatstand

to the right of the elevator door. While getting off the elevator
I made a very weird ‘bleep blop’ noise at the person who was
getting on as I was getting off and people found it funny and

laughed. I was just being very silly. One of the guys who laughed
was sitting across the way on a bench. As I approached him he
started saying “Noooooo” and I said I had to see who was laugh-
ing and of course it would be him, although he looked like a pile
of bubble gum the closer I got.
TRAIN CAR CHURCH
Earlier on in the dream I was speaking with Kenny over an in-
stant messenger. I had lost his screen name on the day he and
I were supposed to get together. Eventually I got a video chat
with him. He was busy. Didn’t remember scheduling plans with
me. Was with someone else playing music. We talked. We talked
about how I wasn’t in a healthy position to do anything fun like
walking or drugs or music. But I liked just sitting in the park
talking. That’s what led to the train ride, after Kenny I think. I
had been sitting in the park and when he left I got on the train
car.
I was sitting in a train car that was mostly empty, if not for a girl
sitting on the other end. I was wearing only a pair of gray box-
er briefs while typing out a philosophical text (which is actually
what I am currently wearing... underneath the rest of my clothes,
I mean). On her way out of the train car, that girl came over and
read what I had written. It was strange, like “If the people were
given x then they would want y,” and it looked like a newspaper.
I remember thinking that, apart from my lack of clothes, I

looked pretty good. Then she got off the train. And her friends
were all loitering at the train stop and I heard Viscera Eyes or
something blaring from the speakers of one of their cars, so I was
sort of just standing there in the door or window waiting for an
opening to say something to them, and sort of just stood there in
the entry air guitaring to the song to show that I knew it. Then
this guy shows up, his head pops up in the window right in front
of me, and I was like “Whoaaaa,” and he says “You’re a mess,
dude,” to which I laughed in response and came back with a line
that I cannot recall at this point. Then he started talking to me
2444
and we carried on through the window until he just came on in-

to the train car, at which point the place seemed to turn into a
church.
The two of us sat down next to one another in the pews, but I
became self conscious of my clothing and I got up to go to the
bathroom or something to get dressed and came back during the
worship service and stood in the shadows near the pillar for a lit-
tle bit before moving back to the pews as the service was about
to start. I didn’t sit next to the original guy, but sat next to this
girl and her father, who was seated on the other side of her. Not
sure on her age. Probably in the 18-20 bracket. She and I didn’t
actually make any direct contact during service or even look at
each other head-on. I remember she broke a tooth or something
during the service. It sounded painful and I really wanted to ask
if she was alright and offer my help, since I recall thinking that I
had suffered the same problem once upon a time, though I didn’t
feel comfortable doing so with her father present. She got up and
left for about five minutes in the middle of the service before
coming back, and in the meantime it was just her father and I. It
was stressful even though we didn’t actually interact. It’s not like
I even knew his daughter; but I was feeling judged simply for the
fact that I was sitting near her and I was this strange looking in-
dividual, so of course he’s going to have his eye on me. The area
in front of me (the pew) was messy like a car dashboard.
Eventually the girl came back, returning to her seat. My stomach

was growling on and off and sounded like belching. I could tell
that she was trying not to laugh and I was trying to indicate that
it was not a burp without causing a scene during the service.
Someone’s phone or something went off during service. Not a

phone. It wasn’t a normal distraction. Like I think someone was
just talking randomly. And the pastor was getting irritated. It had
nothing to do with me though. They were nearer to the back.
I’m doing little, subtle things throughout service to make myself

look cool in the girl’s eyes. I remember that I was sitting with my
laptop and I caught her peeking at my laptop wallpaper which
was a video of me as a little kid playing with my sister and a cou-
ple of other kids. As the service was preparing to wrap up I told
her to meet me out front when she got out. So I went out front
not knowing if she would show. That’s when I saw those two
guys—Phil and some other guy playing in the parking lot. And I
had to move because they were being weird and loud.
Later I saw Jeff walk by in the parking light. He saw me in passing

and I was hopeful that he would come over and say hello. He
did say hey, but it was said in a way that seemed to suggest
that he didn’t really have the time to do anything more than ac-
knowledge me. So I said something like “Good to see you, man,”
though I would have preferred to go over and say more just ‘cause
it was cool seeing him. He was carrying his guitar case to his car.
Immediately afterwards I saw the girl exit the church and stand
out front by the doors while looking around, and I remember be-
ing kind of wowed when she came out and I got a good look at
her, since I hadn’t really gotten a good look at her before that
point as I had been trying not to look directly at her while in
church and more so got a feel for her presence. She had very cool
hair... large wavy curls, and it went out more than it went down...
so it wasn’t too long. Shoulder length. And it just has a lot of
body and looks really fashionable. Not too dissimilar from An-
nie’s hair but maybe a little more voluminous.
I went up to her and we then went off walking together through

the parking lot. And it was a weird feeling because we felt sud-
denly like a couple. I remember another comment being made

about the burp noises I made during church and I had to defend
myself saying it was my stomach growling in my throat. I don’t
remember what we did. We just went walking around along trails
in the back and were sort of just getting to know each other. And
all of the sudden there were more people outside on the sidelines
and they looked at us and I just knew they saw us as a couple. It
was a little difficult for her to get away from her dad and sneak
off and meet me.
At the end of the dream I was making some sort of amphetamine

drug out of brown sugar in a tupperware container combined
with some solvent which was making the brown sugar take the
form of these strips that looked like little meat cutlets. Mean-
while Asia was recalling some story about how she got called a
bitch.
RESTRAINING ORDER
I was downstairs watching television. I was only wearing my
shorts and not wearing a mask and my father barged in and start-
ed ordering me around and I told him I would prefer it if he did
not do this now since I’m not dressed and he took an attitude
with me and got all big and continued overreacting. So I grabbed
my phone and I took off running down the street where I hid be-
hind a line of trees. I remember turning off all signals and maps
on my phone so that he couldn’t track me. Soon I took up resi-
dency in a new place, possibly a hotel, where I plotted my actions
before the window while staring out at some unknown intersec-
tion. I was so upset because I knew I was going to die soon and I
wanted to die in the cellar bedroom in which I had lived out my
most vital years of life, so I set up this complex plot about getting
a specific type of court ordered restraining order that allowed me
to return but also required him to stay away from me, and should
he not respect that, I had scheduled emails to go out to everyone
from his church and his workplace explaining that he killed my
mother through his neglect and all of these other things that he
has done to the family and things about the person that he really
is. And unless I canceled the scheduling, it would go out at a cer-
tain date. So this was a blackmail to keep him from bothering me
in that time frame, as I had to cancel the scheduling manually,
so he couldn’t just take my phone from me to prevent me from
sending out the emails. I had a complex, airtight strategy worked
out.
2448
THE END
I was out wandering the city, Christmas shopping with my fam-
ily. This went on for a while, though I can’t remember any re-
markable details. There was this very apocalyptic atmosphere in
the air, though it wasn’t really reflected in the scenery, just my
mindset.
Later I was shown this scene of an old man sitting in the backseat
of a car with a young woman, and he wanted her to go and be
happy. And when this young man came to the window to speak
with them or find out if they were alright, the old men wanted
the young woman to deny him, acting like he was just her father.
And she said she couldn’t do that. But when the moment came,
and the man approached the window, she did, and she left him
sitting in the car while she went off with the young man. Howev-
er, a short time later, the younger man ditched her unexpectedly,
hopping in another car and driving off, when that was supposed
to be her ride out. And I watched from the viewpoint of the man
leaving as he sped down the highway. And I saw into his mind
and how he was saddened because he knew as long as they were
together it was a tug of war and neither of them was going to go
anywhere because they were pulling against each other and keep-
ing one another stuck. And he kept driving past this same haunt-
ed house (not haunted, really, but just a place in which some-
thing terrible had maybe occurred and it looked very rundown
and creepy). And that’s when it showed me sitting on a couch
with my mother and some girl who was simultaneously Jeiezza
and Asia. And the narration on the television kept making a bad
comment about throats which I won’t repeat whenever it passes
by the ‘haunted’ house. And I got upset that Jeiezza wasn’t mut-
2449
ing it for me and it was bothering me, but then I rested my head
and I sort of took her hand, and just started to rest.
Meanwhile, my parents were wrapping presents upstairs. It

seemed futile. I remember that they just wrapped everything up
randomly without even bothering to add tags and all of the usu-
al add-ons. Uncle Jamie was there or we were referencing him
at least, along with this band that he was associated with. There
were these four glam metal guys getting ready in our bathroom.
I don’t know what their deal was but they were just hanging
around and I kept seeing things from their perspective. And
whatever they were getting ready for ended in disappointment.
Then Christmas came, and we all opened up presents in the Pine

Hill living room, even though we were watching the movie in the
Charldon living room. Presents were given out. I got a new coat.
That’s all I remember. It was shortly afterwards that things began
disappearing, including my family members. I was afraid, realiz-
ing I had stayed too long in this world, this life—long enough to
where I stopped believing in time and space. But I still believed
in existence, and that belief kept me here. So I saw the end of
those things. I saw the end of time and space and light. And I
should have dissolved with all of the people around me, but I was
still holding on.
There was an obsession in me to keep holding on. My obsession

to see it through to the end and document it all. And I remember
running down into the basement where there was this long
strange hallway. The part in the basement, where I was saying my
goodbyes to my senses. To sight and sound. As everything shut
off. And I couldn't even record my findings. I needed to.
And the darkness was sweeping through the area quickly. And
I was yelling goodbye to everyone as the lights went out and
I caught my last glimpse of certain people, things, before they

were gone forever. Then I ran back up the stairs but the upstairs
was black too, all gone. The kitchen, everything, all gone. I re-
member the basement went black. And I wandered up into the
kitchen level. And then I saw the Christmas presents that never
even got given out, still sitting in my parents room. My parents
had bought themselves a new bed, though it had never been un-
wrapped.
And even my 8-tracks and my computer and my paper pads dis-

appeared so I couldn’t continue documenting what was happen-
ing. I grew distraught. Then I wandered around in this dark void
where my home used to be. Climbing to the top floor of the
house. Where there was still a light pouring out of one of the
rooms. I went inside and there was Jeiezza sitting at a desk watch-
ing television like nothing was the matter. I was so happy to see
her, and to see light. And I wrapped my arms around her from
behind. I explained the whole situation to her. That I had out-
lasted time and space, but that I was so stupid for not going with
the others, when I should have. And it’s all because of my stub-
bornness and my desire to document everything. It was a very
emotional scene. It was the only room with light still on. And I
remember trying to imagine what the next life would be like, and
how silly I will feel when I ascend to a higher plane and find that
I was so concerned with documenting everything in such a crude
manner when everything was already being documented. And I
said to her “Maybe in another life, you really were my snicker.”
And then I began laughing, because I had not meant to say that. I
was torn between saying sister and soulmate, and “snicker” came
out. And then a box of chocolates appeared on the desk next to
me, prompting me to laugh even harder. But then she became
upset and started crying, emotionally so, saying “How can you
act like you understand when you so clearly don’t?” And she was
so sad, but not angry. Just hurt. And I continued to hold her in
my arms as the dream ended.
AFTER CHRISTMAS SALE
I was out driving around with a guy and a girl—both in their
twenties. They were a couple. We were hungry and considering
going to a restaurant but nothing sounded all that appealing
and we couldn’t agree on anything before making it back to my
house, which was my Pine Hill address. After arriving at my
house, I ran inside to see what state the house was in so as to
gauge if I could bring company in (while they remained parked
in the street). They were driving an SUV sort of vehicle, with
the girl at the wheel. It took me a moment to actually be able to
get up into the gate because it was on a weird angle and I had to
do a strange sort of claim which involved me kicking off against
my father’s work van. When I went in my parents were setting
up a television, saying that they had held off on telling me, but
that they had bought a new television and stereo system during
a recent ‘After Christmas Sale’. It was large but I didn’t care. So I
went back outside and out of the gate and got up next to the ve-
hicle in which my associates were sitting and explained what was
happening and that my parents had gotten all these ‘After Christ-
mas’ sale items. Overall it just wasn’t a good time to come in and
as the girl realized that this was to be my conclusion, she drove
off as I was mid-sentence and I found it rude.
So I went back into my yard and on the front gate was this weird
piano, and there was like this... I don’t know what it’s called but
you see it in rich gardens and whatnot, where there is like some
wiry white arch over the entry gate and it is all decorative. I
turned on the piano on the gate and started playing this pret-
ty tune which I guess was supposed to act as a key to the gate
and it was very loud and the lights in the walkway came on and
the whole thing illuminated and it was just pretty odd as it felt
2453
like a mini concert with this dreamy electric piano sound. Then I
struggled once more to get up onto the gate because of the angle
and had to kick off of my father’s work van once again. Then I
adjusted the volume of the piano thing and turned off the lights.
It felt wintry.
FIFTH CORNER
If one visits the four corners of the market in a certain order, a
photographer will appear and take a photo of them, and if one
then refuses to pay him for the photo they will be banished to a
dark studio called The Fifth Angle, or The Fifth Corner, which
appears to exist behind the eyes/within the skull of some black
ghoulish entity. Within the dream I deliberately invoked this
process... refusing to pay the photographer so as to achieve some-
thing within the head of this tormented being. Something about
the pose which was made in the photograph comes into play... I
entered along with someone else.
2455
MANNEQUIN
I was walking through a city on my way to some afternoon event,
passing through skeletal buildings which were just beams and
frames. I soon arrived at a party. While at the party, everyone else
was chatting and mingling but I was on a couch in the corner
watching a movie on television. It was a film about war.
As the night progressed I went to a separate room (almost a fac-

tory-type of atmosphere) with a couple of people where I gradu-
ally loosened up, and I was walking around with this large blan-
ket which covered me and I had built a sort of fort atop a couch
or something with all of these cushions stacked high. Then I
stood on top and I wouldn’t stop singing “Charon” by King Di-
amond. I was even doing the guitar part with my mouth, and I
wouldn’t shut up and the people were cracking up because they
had no clue what I was singing. It was just weird to them that I
was wailing and doing these guitar parts, and it didn’t help that
they thought I was saying “Karen.” I must have sang the song like
four times in a row and I kept getting more into it. Actually, I
think this is where that girl first came into the picture... a vague-
ly Eastern girl who I found very attractive. She didn’t quite look
like a punk but I don’t think she would have been turned away
from a punk gathering.
I don’t recall exactly how everything progressed, though the next

scene that I recall is that I was going to bed for the night after
spending the evening with all of these people. It was a fairly large
room and I was sharing it with a grandfather and a baby child
sleeping in a bed across the way, and then there was this beauti-
ful girl sleeping nearby—the girl from the party. I was attempt-
ing to fall asleep when the girl showed up at my bedside and be-
2456
gan speaking to me. She was very nonchalant about it, taking a
seat on my bed and prompting me to sit up once I realized that
she wasn’t going away. We chatted for a little bit, although I do
not recall what about. It wasn’t romantic. It was just a casual con-
versation and I wouldn’t have expected romance to come of this;
but at some point one of us just initiated it, and physical con-
tact was made. We began to touch, tickling the skin very gently.
And we began to touch more. Tracing one another with our fin-
gers. Then we began to embrace, and the embrace became firmer
and firmer. And I felt her body, and she was naked, and I felt her
pushing against me, and we embraced and it felt so warm. The
baby at the other end of the room then began to cry, and the girl
looked over to see the baby and said “Awww”, and I remembered
at that point that we were sharing the room with others. The girl
was so concerned that the baby was crying. It was watching us.
Maybe that’s why it was crying. She got up at one point to go
over somewhere, across the room or to the other room to answer
the phone or speak to someone, likely the latter since I remem-
ber she left the room briefly.
There were little pills and pieces of candy that had spilled out
all over the mattress from a purse or something as we started
getting intimate (no sex, of course), so I scooped them all up
even though they weren’t all the same and put them in a nearby
mullein bottle just to clean up a little bit before she returned.
I also remember checking my messages and getting a heads up
that some military faction was seeking out different outposts and
camps in the area to take over, and since I had listed my home,
along with Asia’s home and the home of an associate as military
bases, they had them on file and they would be coming there, so
I was upset because they thought they were really military out-
posts and were going to take my homes or try to, so I was won-
dering what to do. It was like some weird paramilitary thing. Sys-
tem of a Down was playing on my phone, albeit quietly, and I

briefly forgot other people were sleeping nearby and I turned it
down out of nervousness. I don’t remember which song, but it
was the Mesmerize album that was playing. In this time I looked
up the girl’s online profile to see if I could learn more about her
so that I could have more talking points, and I saw her wall of
posts was covered with pictures of her with other men in bed and
I felt a bit ill, feeling that this was all worthless to her and just a
typical weekend which she wasn’t taking seriously.
She returned, and we were embracing and becoming increasingly

intimate, but at some point she became still. She stopped moving
altogether. I didn’t understand. I pulled away. She had become
like a mannequin: a soft, fleshy doll. I persisted in holding her
and I spoke to her again and again but she would not move. It
was like I was expecting her to come back to life at any moment
and I wanted to make sure that when that happened she was not
in some awkward or disrespectful pose, despite the fact that I was
very attracted to and tempted by her body. So I continued to
hold her tight and I wrapped her arms around me and it was a
very secure embrace. Still, I expected that she would come back
to life at any moment, but there was no change and the tone of
the dream gradually shifted. So I got up at one point and I wan-
dered into the adjunct chapel sanctuary—which, for some rea-
son, was just through a set of doors. I wandered the chapel with
the lights out, unable to see a thing, while I screamed out “I’m
in love! I’m in love!” Yet I began to become paranoid, fearing
that something was hiding in the darkness, watching me. So I
left the room and I made my return to the soft, fleshy pose-able
mannequin that had become of my lover. By now the mannequin
was completely dressed and laying on the floor in the center of
the room. The space that I was in no longer looked the same. It
looked like a hotel room, a bit smaller in size than before, where-
as the grandfather and the child were gone and it was just the
two of us. I laid down on the floor beside the mannequin and
held her tight in an embrace and I continued to speak to her,
treating her as a normal woman.
The door was open before me as I lay on the floor. It was a double
door, however, in the sense that while one door was open, there
was still a glass door that was closed (not like two doors side-
by-side) and I could see through it into the parking lot, and as I
stared at the city lights and the night sky I thought “Am I going
to get any sleep tonight? Can I handle the sleeplessness? Should
I wander out into the city?”
At the very end, as I lay embracing the mannequin tightly, I

looked up and I saw a woman standing at the door in front of
me, only a couple feet away and clearly facing me. Not inside the
room but on the outside of the glass door. Because of how I am
lying I can not move my head up all the way, so I lift my head to
take a look and see a presence but then my head drifts back down
in this really annoying way. Then I try again, getting no further
and not up far enough to see the face before my sight falls back
down. At first I’m excited, but then I become more creeped out
than anything when I see that the position/stance of the body is
not changing at all, affecting some strange model-like stance in
the doorway, and I can sense this creepy ambient music, like in
a horror film, as I am laying before the door on the floor hold-
ing onto this mannequin. There was just this extremely ominous
sense in the air where I suddenly had no clue what I was doing...
who was the woman at the door and what the hell was I embrac-
ing. It suddenly felt like a nightmare and I awoke.
WOODS
I was in a van listening to music in the church parking lot and
four or so of the people we were with disappeared into the woods
far ahead of us. Said they were coming back. Then they disap-
peared. And I forget what happened but it freaked us out... the
two of us that stayed behind. like they were possessed or led up
there by some entity and I forget what it implied about them.
But me and the guy who stayed back in the van/camper were to-
tally freaked out and just sitting there in silence in this cramped
vehicle.
2460
GIRLS ON POSTS
I was in a little fenced area of the yard with those five girls who
were standing on posts, and I guess we exchanged some words
and spoke for a bit. It was all a bit nit-picky and teasing. But then
I had to leave the yard and I had to say goodbye to them. The girl
on the far end—furthest from where I was—who I could barely
see, then got down from her post and ran to me. I was so hap-
py, because I was going to miss her. We met at the gate and we
hugged and she gave me her contact info and whatnot. One of
the other girls was talking about never forgetting the night when
she broke the news to me, and for a second I couldn’t figure out
what she was referring to, but she meant something occurring at
nine o’ clock the previous night which led to this event. I didn’t
care for the other girls, but I cared for the one that hugged me,
and the other was a good friend/ support.
2461
PAPER AIRPLANE
I was sitting on the deck with my mother. We were discussing
lucidity and how the key has to do with absence and presence.
I kept looking back at the Tree of Fermentations. I pointed it
out saying that I need to control absence. Then I asked why the
neighbor’s shed was yellow and purple—all psychedelic. Then I
went and pissed off the deck until the neighbor walked out and I
said “Aww, great.”
The neighbor, who was at first a man, suddenly became a woman.

She was pregnant and smoking a cigarette. I said “Great, more
birth defects.” My mother responded “I can’t believe you just said
that out loud.”
I said “Watch this... my coffee... something is gonna happen but

I don’t know what...”
Then the neighbor lady looked right at me from about twenty to

thirty feet away and began singing the most unnatural sounding
song with a voice indicative of genetic retardation, while a paper
airplane soared from her hand right at me, and it soared so slow-
ly. I tried catch in my cup but missed it and as soon as I missed it
I knew that I had fucked upon and woke myself up immediately
horrified.
Her pose and voice and stare were so goddamn OFF. I remember
the melody but can’t describe it. It was like “Da da reh rah reh
SKAH!” Weird legs spread, like fighting stance, tribal almost.
Early morning. Staring at the Thummim’s tree to invoke ‘absence’
I woke up after four seconds of singing. Terrified.
The discussion between my mother and I... it was not originally

about lucidity though...?
2462
REAPER
I was sitting on my bed in Londonberry doing something, and
I heard the wind growing in volume and force outside. I looked
over to see my window, which was closed, and I knew what was
coming. It was this reaper-type entity that was walking down
the street. I was frightened. I set up a camera monitor within
my bedroom so that I could know the moment he entered the
house, I grabbed a flashlight along with my phone, and I went
banging on my parents’ door to wake my father up (their bed-
room was right across the hall from mine). My parents were
groggy and my father took some convincing. I told my mother
to wait in her room. I wanted my father to see what was hap-
pening. So I went down the hall into the living room and sat on
the couch where I would have a good, clear shot once it entered
the hallway. I would shine my flashlight beam and phone light
on him when he showed himself. That was the plan. I figured
the light beam would destroy him or some such. We sat on the
couch waiting, staring at the camera monitor. Then my mother
entered my room and moved it. We freaked out and demand-
ed she put it back since it was necessary. We’re watching all of
this on the monitor. She set it back to where it was, then I yelled
“NOW GET OUT QUICK!” but she wasn’t quick enough,
and I watched on the monitor as the wind began to blow. “Oh
no. That’s the sign” I said. We then watched her on the moni-
tor as she became sluggish and dopey, like moving in slow mo-
tion, and we watched her as her hair continued to blow and she
turned to face something off-screen, in the direction of my win-
dow. That’s when we saw him appear... some death-like creature,
with a small, bald, rotten head and creepy gray body covered
with wispy, drapey things. He came through my wall or window
area. He passed through my mother while she stood in a daze,
2463
as in went right through her. We knew he was coming down the

hall next and would be entering our line of sight in only a mo-
ment. I waited anticipatingly with my flashlight in hand but I
woke up before he appeared. It was very intense.
For those who don’t know, it formed sort of an L shape, with

my room and the hallway and then the couch in the living room.
So the couch could see right down the hallway, and so we were
waiting for it to pass through my room and into the hallway. The
monitor was set up just so we would know the moment it en-
tered my room, giving us a brief insight into its arrival.
AMORE
I was standing in the kitchen with Anita. It was late at night, and
we were raiding the cabinets and refrigerator. I was searching for
some short metal cup that I had seen my father pour before head-
ing to bed. It contained some sort of orange drink. I found it on
the top shelf in the fridge on the right side. I also found a bowl of
what was supposed to be the seeds of a squash or something sim-
ilar, but they simply looked like mini, bite-sized gourds and eat-
ing one would fill you up as much as a full squash, as if it would
apparently expand.
Some geeky teenage guy came through the kitchen after hearing
us shuffling about and wanted to show us some of his poetry,
which, for some reason, was written on receipt paper. It wasn’t
bad. I read it while Anita was putting popcorn in the microwave.
I liked a couple of his lines, in particular, and I was trying to
explain to him that I was impressed without sounding too sur-
prised about it since that, in itself, could sound insulting. I com-
mented about his choice of words and how there were two lines
that really jumped out as memorable. He was excited and wanted
to know which lines I was referring to and I scanned the poems
for those lines while he waited, but I couldn’t find them and told
him I would get back to it later.
The guy finished up and left. Then I looked over and saw the
popcorn overflowing to where it was filling the microwave.
“Hey, I think it’s almost done...” I told her.
“No,” she says, smiling.
2465
The popcorn overflowed and the microwave became so full that

it blocked the light and the room went dark, seeing as the mi-
crowave was the only light on in the room. I can then hear her
laughing in the dark of the kitchen, standing in front of the dish-
washer. I go over to her and take her by the shoulders in a most
sensual manner, accidentally breaking or undoing the right strap
of her dress so that her right breast is exposed. I speak softly to
her and try to tell her to go downstairs and get ready and I’ll be
down with the popcorn in a minute, but she pulls me into her
while I’m speaking and we begin to kiss. It was the most intense
and detailed kiss I’ve ever experienced in sleep. It was going on
for many minutes until I eventually woke up. When I kiss her in
dreams it’s usually a very simple and romantic kiss... not neces-
sarily closed-mouth, but also not really makey-outy. But this was
mega amorous. Ahhhhhh...
HEMISPHERES
In numerous dreams as of late my face is split down the center,
one hemisphere black and the other white; one eye closed and
the other open. I am standing on a stage before an audience and
I have been informed that the audience can not handle being
faced directly, so I must communicate with them at an angle that
they are only beholding one hemisphere of my face at any given
moment, lest they erupt with rage and/or confusion.
2467
WOLF
I was approached at the start by a small and curious boy who I
would assume to have been no older than seven or eight years of
age. He would follow me around the building as I went about
my business, watching intently and asking questions about my
actions. I recall he commented about my hat, which I wear at all
times except as I sleep and as I shower, and then asked to know
what my head looked like beneath it. “Oh, but you’ll just laugh at
me.” I told him, referring to my tonsure. I did end up removing
my hat due to his persistence, but he did not laugh as expected,
instead appearing intrigued.
We went out onto the patio. He held my hand in several in-

stances, and I still recall just how it felt. His hand was very small
and his grip was very tight. We appeared to be within an apart-
ment complex type set-up and could see the patios of all the
neighboring buildings from our own, most of which were popu-
lated by large dogs. We sat beside each other in lawn chairs and
he pointed out his mother working on the patio across the way
(resembling my late mother). He told me how he didn’t agree
with most of her actions or behavior and then asked me about
my own mother. “I am motherless.” I told him, referring not to
the fact that my mother had died but that I am self-created.
He seemed impressed by a lot of what I had to say and told me

that he wished to be like me, whereupon I watched him trans-
form into a wolf cub, very small and agile. We spent the after-
noon together, then at one point I left him alone when going in-
to the building to retrieve something and came back to find the
dogs on the neighboring property aggressively swarming around
a small animal which they were tearing apart with their teeth,
2468
exposing meat and tendons in a fit of gore. Not seeing the cub
where I left him, I broke down sobbing, not knowing what to
do, at which point Anita emerged from the doorway behind me,
taking me by the hand, and led me up the nearby staircase. I re-
sisted at first, not wishing to leave the scene, but she insisted and
pulled me along. I blamed myself for not educating the boy on
the differences between him and the dogs, believing he had ap-
proached the dogs thinking they were his own kind. He wasn’t
wise enough to realize their differences, despite the similarity of
appearance, and I could have guessed that they would have such
a violent reaction towards him. I wept as we walked.
As we arrived at the top floor I was rushed by the wolf, now

fully grown, who ran to be with me. In the final moments of the
dream I recall sitting in a chair, conversing and snacking with
Anita as the wolf lay resting peacefully at my feet.
WATER PITCHER
I went for a nap and witnessed the sight of a water pitcher hover-
ing slowly over my stomach.
2470
PEACOCK
I don’t know that I’ve slept at all this month. Either all of my
dreams are taking place in my bed (as a dream setting) or I am
remaining for most of these hours within a liminal state. Each
night plays out like an operation, and though I am waking each
morning with an incredible, albeit vague, vision of the night
before, I am very much dreading the thought of going to bed
each night due to it having become an uncomfortable experi-
ence. Just this past night I recall a woman trying to “express her-
self ” through me (I know no other way of describing her will)
and I had to acknowledge her, I had to realize her, and I woke
with a sort of peacock bird climbing from my mouth and as it
left a beam of rainbow colors burst forth.
2471
OPERATIONS
I was in a basement. I recall three images tattooed on my body:
fire, twins and an alembic. I was working with a large alembic or
aludel. I was told by a young woman that “two had left or died”
(two of what?) and that I should not be sad because it was all
a part of the plan and that things were progressing splendidly. I
noticed there were two rows of curtains, where parting one re-
vealed the other. Upon waking I laid in a daze for an hour as a
woman whispered riddles in my ear.
2472
THE DEMON
I was in my house when it was taken over by an airborne demon.
What I considered to be my house resembled a single-room cab-
in containing multiple sets of bunk beds. I was leaping from one
top bunk to another in my desperate attempts to evade the gi-
gantic and vaguely crustacean demon. Insistent on coming up
with a fitting melody during the event, I was singing loudly as I
leapt and rolled—a foolish act which nearly cost me my life. Af-
ter realizing my foolishness and giving up on my song I slipped
out through a small window and ran down the streets through
the town and to a narrow alley which led me to the shore where
I met two men at the water's edge. They resembled prophets, or
what I imagine of the types of prophets portrayed in biblical or
other religious texts. I explained to them that I had escaped the
demon, whose name I told to them, and couldn’t answer whether
the demon was “local” or not. We spoke for a while and made
plans to meet up at a different location on a later date after I had
completed a particular task on their behalf. After parting ways
with the two men I entered into a safehouse where I conversed
with a girl who was carrying a small dark-skinned man in her
arms, perhaps adult age, but measuring approximately three feet
in height. He was referred to as a Pygmy within the dream but I
don’t know if that would be the appropriate term to use in reali-
ty to describe him.
2473
THE BOX
I was at a celebration and running around communicating with
all of these people. At times it felt like a birthday celebration,
though I think that it was technically some sort of wedding cel-
ebration. I apparently got married to this really young girl and
everyone was dancing around the age issue. I was like thirty years
older than her, but I was only thirty myself, so she was supposed
to be zero, which was bizarre. She didn’t look like a child. She
was petite, I suppose, but still womanly. I don’t really remember
being with her all that much. It was such a large party and every-
one wanted to speak to me so I spent much of the time just walk-
ing around into different rooms.
Every so often, as I went about my way, I would pass by a tall

and slender man sitting off on his own who seemed to be crafting
something. It was a box, and every time I came close and tried
to glimpse what he was doing he would cover it with his hands
and tell me to run off until he was done. He never wanted me
around and he was really putting a lot into it. He was sitting on
the deck of my childhood home in Pine Hill. There were several
items inside the box, but I never got to see the main item. One
of the items, or so I surmise, was a large hat. But he was creating
this box that needed to be solved.
I wish that I could recall other aspects of the party that occurred
beforehand. It went on for a long time. I do recall that some
fight transpired between my mother and I. It was all so stressful
that I finally had to escape onto the patio mid-celebration, over-
whelmed by everything that was going on, and a fellow psychol-
ogist came walking out behind me, all stressed and sighing, so I
tossed him a pack of cigarettes while I was sitting there smoking
2474
myself. I think he was hiding from his wife, though he was hes-
itant to complain to me since I was celebrating my marriage or
some such and he didn’t want to dampen my own feelings, but
we saw fit to make our jokes.
The party soon died down and everyone dispersed. After the
event I went outside on my front porch to find the box sitting
unattended in a chair. The tall man had gone with the rest, leav-
ing behind only this strange wooden crate. It was very mysteri-
ous. A sheet of paper was nailed to the lid, and I had to follow
what was written if I wished to reveal its contents. There was a
bundle of wires and I had to untangle them, leading me to the
scattered pieces of a remote control which, when assembled, had
weird things written on the controls, like Atheism and Belief.
There was a philosophy book, and there were all of these word
riddles, but I couldn’t solve them before waking. I was excited,
yet I was also fearful.
Later on I was downstairs in my Londonberry house and I was

laying on the floor by my mother’s computer area, though her
computer wasn’t present, and the dog was barking at the noise
that was coming from whatever I was doing, so he came running
downstairs to where I was. My father followed him down to let
him out the sliding door, and my father was standing out on the
patio whistling; and I became so annoyed with him that he asked
“What’s your problem?” and so I imitated his whistling, saying I
can’t deal with it in the morning. I think I tried to get his help on
some aspect of what I was working on but he just threw up his
hands and didn’t want to deal with it.
I woke up before I finished and it pisses me off because it was so

mysterious, and the man had put in so much effort. I sat there for
a while attempting to figure it there while figuring it out wonder-
ing if he actually knew about where I had gone in life and was ac-
tually familiar with who I was at this point... and I felt like some
of this had to do with my mind.
THE WEDDING
I was attending a wedding. The desserts were bland. The ceilings
were too low. Overall I was displeased with the experience and
didn’t believe that the bride and groom truly loved one another.
A girl hit on me and wanted to come back with me to my place,
but I figured that my place would end up creeping her out. I con-
sidered showing her a picture beforehand, building it all up as
an art project so as to minimize the creepy factor, but then I just
thought ‘What’s the point if it won’t be appreciated? What’s the
point if my nature is simply tolerated and not celebrated?’ She
never actually turned me down or had anything negative to say. I
was just feeling cynical and didn’t feel like dealing with any more
disappointment. So I just left her hanging. I told her I would be
back, but I left the wedding while it was still ongoing and sat out-
side, when a horse or deer approached me at random. It was so
striking and beautiful, and I chased after it, following it deep in-
to the nearby forest. After a lot of walking I came to a clearing, a
garden. A girl was seated in the center of this garden. I couldn’t
see her face. She called out to me and asked “Are you ready to
hear the real story about how we met?”
2477

Rapid Eye Monuments - Choir Korneli Leviyey

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1

It was once my goal to not only release my dreams in physical edi-

all of the various somnambulisms that I had managed to capture

As I lifted my face a second time, I was trampled by what must

The bones of my face felt sore or broken and I nearly suffocated.

I was overwhelmed with emotion as I surveyed the landscape, fi-

Eventually I came to a doorway, where the doorway itself was

I hesitated, thinking, "I know I'm supposed to want this. I know

Then from behind me I sensed the presence of Florentin, who

Once Florentin completed his task on the ground floor he

After crossing a long and narrow bridge, one would be standing

I was sitting in a study filled with many bookshelves and plants,

allowed me to stay a bit longer in this place. Daniel, for whatever

After coming out of hiding I ran through the kitchen and

As I made my way back to the men's dormitory in a quiet haste,

I too went to bow my head, but the moment was interrupted by

As the vocalizations stopped they all collapsed upon the floor as

They couldn’t understand how I sang since, in their case, their

Suddenly I thought to myself, ‘...b I can breathe under here! And

Later on I was somehow back in the courtyard, now acting dif-

When I returned later in the day everyone was scowling at me

At some point I also recall walking through a large and majestic

I sighed and walked down to the gate at the other side of my

After landing in a pile of laundry my father appeared out of

The next thing that I know I am walking through the entrance

They kept going on and on about some scene coming up in the

was essentially a shot of many people sitting in a canoe; the scene

I soon grew tired of my mother’s behavior and got out of the

I eventually grasped the text, despite it warping in and out. The

A notable thing about the conversation was the way in which

avatar over the course of our conversation, which was sort of a

The dream concluded while I was lying half-awake on a public

he was now looking for whatever it was, while without looking

it that big of a deal to you?" And they started to mock me along

While leaving the building, I was crying with my face turned

up so close to them, so I couldn’t walk around this one giant pipe

After doing my own thing for a while, I responded to her calls

Without prior warning, the bathroom walls suddenly disap-

Just then I heard a woman's voice shouting from the nearby

The creatures, who appeared like horror clichés, attempted to

After an interstice of cognition I was then standing within a sort

However, he didn’t know where his own child was so he got

I broke down crying in an empty train car while speaking with a

On one corner of this market I remember there stood a tall and

Asia and I kept teleporting to all of these places while looking to

I remember a huge hallway in the back of the store, or many hall-

Asia and I were standing by the changing rooms when suddenly

Next I remember transporting and locating possessed idols in

I finally made it to the main room, which looked like my child-

In the final scene of the dream I ascended the floors of a light-

“What will we do?"

“How can we handle this?"

Later on within this dream I was followed by one or several el-

Around this time I could hear a child standing at the foot of

I finished up my letter to Lajos by signing my name with a se-

At another point in the dream I was playing a game of chess

I then went and cooked marshmallows on the backyard fire.

Every time I would prepare a bowl of food I would take it down

I couldn't think of what I ate in a day. They asked, “What do you

Afterwards I found a letter in my mailbox dated from several

In each of these photographs, Patrick was wearing a black and

Later on I got dressed up in different outfits and costumes,

bowl was coming what resembled giant antlers or some kind