FIRST CUT

Prior to this time, I was just about the age of 5 years when my mother decided to
get a house help that would live with us and help around with the household chores
since she was always busy with work and never had time to do certain things
required of her as a mother.

In a society like ours, it is only logical to hire a female house help, because people
believe that the household chores belongs to the women and nobody does it better
than them. But for some reasons best known to my mother she decided to get a
make house help. I couldn't question her authority because I was way too young to
do that but she was my mother and I believed that she knew better and the
decisions she has made was for the good of I and my brother.

All the house help had to do was look after I and my baby brother who wasn't up to
a year old, but things suddenly began to change when he tried something weird one
hot afternoon.

We had just finished having lunch and all I wanted to do was play with my brother
and probably him, but for some reasons best known to him he decided to undress
us while I played with my brother who was obviously on his walker. He asked that
I lay next to my brother naked, and although I found this strange and thought about
resisting, I still didn't want to disobey him because he was way much older than I
was. I did as he insisted and he went over to where our curtains were hunged and
made sure to cover the blinds causing everywhere to be extremely dark and scary.
I've always been scared of the dark as every young child should be, but still I said
nothing. He walked over to where we laid down and started by undressing himself
also. After that, he went ahead to cover our eyes with blind folds so that we
wouldn't see what he was doing to us. He began to touch different parts of my body
and it made me feel some type of way. I knew this wasn't right, we weren't
supposed to be laying in bed with our house help, he wasn't supposed to touch me
the way he was doing. A lot of things ran through my mind but I couldn't question
him, so I just laid down there, eyes shot, mind shot, and I forced myself to sleep so
that i wouldn't feel what he was doing to me.

I woke up hours later and realized that he had dressed I and my brother up as if
nothing had happened, just in time before my mother returned from work.
I made up my mind that immediately my mother got back from work that evening I
was going to let her know everything that he had done to I and my brother in
details. As soon as she came home, I met her talking with one of my aunts, I
couldn't wait for my aunt to leave so I decided to let her know about what he had
done.

I explained everything that had happened while she was away, and I told her I
could tell what he had done was a bad thing because while I spoke to my mother
he stood by the side of the parlor and was constantly gazing at me so I wouldn't
speak up. I was certain that my mother would have wanted me to report this
incident to her, I could tell by the facial expression she gave my aunty. Rather
than pour all her anger on our house help that molested I and my brother, my
mother beat me up and scolded me. She probably did that so I would forget
about what had happened, but the reverse was the case. My mother began to
worry about what wrong she had done and where she must had made a mistake
in birthing I and my brother.

Growing up, I always got beaten up by my mother and this was mainly because
my mother always referred to me as a stubborn child, and she figured out that
the only way to correct me whenever I had done something wrong was by beating
me blue and black. This was a common trend amongst Nigerian parents, they
believed in the scripture that said spare the rod and spoil the child.

After I had gotten a good beating from her that night, she sent the house help
packing the day after. I woke up the next morning asked after him, and all I got
was a wicked look from my mother, the kind of look a child gets when she asks
about things that doesn't concern her.

We lived in a one bedroom apartment. In our parlour we had brown chairs, a

huge television that was the size of a cupboard, a CD player, a small radio player,
and a brown rug, while we had a very big bed in the bedroom which contained my
mother, I and my brother. We always cooked in the room because my mother
never loved the idea of sharing a kitchen space with our neighbours. It was
somewhat funny because we shared the bathroom with our neighbours, so why
was sharing a kitchen any different, but just like other decisions she had made I
couldn't question her.

Sharing the bathroom with our neighbours was one of the most stressful thing
ever. This is because we couldn't comfortably sit on the toilet seat because it was
a pit toilet, and we also had to wake up very early so we could have our baths
before other neighbours wake up, to make sure that we got to school very early
and my mother got to work on time too.

I always loved bathing with my mother until one day she decided that I was now
grown up and I needed to start bathing all by myself. I keep wondering whoever
told her that, because it was certainly not me.

We always had the famous Mama Put rice for breakfast, I loved her rice and stew
with beans and plantain, it was the perfect combination. I would have preferred a
proper home made meal to school but my mother didn't have the luxury of time
to do so, because she was not sure she would be able to get the meal ready on
time before I get to school and before she goes to work. The struggles of a single
mother who had no one to assist her, my mother could not possibly try getting
another house help because she was still haunted by what the last boy that was
there did you I and my brother.