started to pick up the fried whitefish that I always seemed to be eating, before placing it back

down on my plate. “You know,” I said, “you really need to stop attention-grabbing so much
attention during lectures.”
“I don’t know how many times I have to tell you, Tabata-kun, but I’m not attention-grabbing! I
just want to be certain about the facts.”
“Yeah, but all it does is make you stand out.”
I had come to realize that, surprisingly, there was no real harm in just keeping on as her
conversation partner.
“Well…I mean, I think it helps the lesson if the professor realizes that there are students with
opinions that differ from what they’re teaching in the lecture. During our lecture just before, I
was thinking, ‘Idealism isn’t the same as an ideal.’ An ideal is something that you should strive
for, but idealism sneers in the face of that. Peace clearly isn’t built on the back of war, it’s built
on the back of more peace. At least, that’s what I think.”
There was no real harm in it, but there was no mistaking that being deemed her friend was an
incredibly vexing thing. Partly as a means of silently arguing against her, I once more picked up
my fried fish. If I were to voice an opinion now or do anything that might imply I was invested in
this conversation, she would just argue herself blue in the face until we were both in accord. It
wasn’t out of a desire to beat her opponent down so much as sincerely wishing to understand
the thoughts of people with differing opinions from her own and amend her own opinion if
necessary.
I really hated that part of her. It was this vexing part of her that kept her so clearly ostracized
from the people around her. Plenty of times when Akiyoshi was not around I had overheard
disparaging whispers about her.
“An ideal is something that you should chase until you can seize it.”
As always, I kept quiet under the unerring gaze from those big, round eyes of hers, poking at my
salad as a diversion. Thinking about it now, those eyes were perhaps the very reason that I had
not managed to shake Akiyoshi at all during those two months. At some point or other, within
the many times each week that I would make her acquaintance, I had come to discover a
certain purity to her, beyond all that vexing naiveté. It was a purity that was certain that the
things she believed in could be brought to fruition with effort and that with the power of that
belief, they would come true.
However, I believe the reason this so pained me to see was that I could recall, in some small
way, having thought similar things myself in the past, which meant that my opinion of her was
based somewhat on my embarrassment at my own past self. Looking at her from afar, one
would take her for a simple idiot. However, when faced directly with that purity, it was difficult
for me, at the very least, to completely write her off.
Had I cut all ties with her at that moment, she would not have had any particularly sour feelings
toward me, but it still would give me a bit more freedom than the times when others thought it
was best to cut off ties with me and treat me as a stranger. Rather than hate that about me,
Akiyoshi accepted me. As a result, within those two months, the whispers surrounding her had
begun to spread to me as well.
This was not the university life I had hoped for.
“That reminds me, what was the Study of International Relations club like?”
“Mm, I dropped in on one of their meetings, but I didn’t really vibe with it,” Akiyoshi said,
laughing it off, but the truth was all over her face. More than likely, there had been those
present who had already come to the conclusion that they did not care for Akiyoshi. At least
once, I had seen an upperclassman directly express their disdain for how often she interrupted
class. I got the impression that something had happened with the aforementioned Model UN as
well.
“Gonna go check out any other ones later?”
“Well, by the time we’re juniors we’re going to end up pretty busy with classwork, and I get the
feeling that the first two years are going to be pretty focused on self-directed studies…” she
trailed off, but there was obvious disappointment on her face.
“If you really want to join an activity, maybe you should start something up yourself,” I
consoled, halfway joking.
“Mmm!” Akiyoshi suddenly shouted through a mouth full of hamburger steak.
“…What?”
“That’s a great idea!”
She swallowed the bite that was already in her mouth and stared at me with her usual intense
eyes. I knew in that moment that I made a mistake.
“A club… That’s it. I could start one! Why did I never think of that?!” She took out a memo pad
and started scribbling something on the paper. “Waiting around to find somewhere that’ll
accept me is a waste of time. I don’t know how I never realized that. Thanks for the advice!”
Her cheeks pinked in elation.
“No, uh, that’s…not what I was getting at.”
“How many people do you think we need to apply for a charter? Five, maybe? I’d need to
officially confirm that, but there’s already two of us here, so I think we just need three more.”
“Wait, are you including me in that number?”
“Well, I mean, it was your idea, Kaede! And we’re friends, aren’t we?!”
We had already reached the point where Akiyoshi sometimes called me by my first name. I
assumed it was to lessen the awkwardness of asking favors or thanking me.