face.

single strained breath, the angle at which he enveloped me shifted, and he only pushed further.

“Nnn...nnn...”

But breathing was the last thing on my mind. He was toying with me in such a manner that I had no idea
how to respond. My hands fell from around his neck, and by instinct I tried to push him back—but his
large body did not yield an inch; he just held me tighter and tighter. I was trapped in his arms, and there
was no escape. Lord Simeon bore down on me with a single-minded passion the likes of which I had
never seen before.

It was a feeling all new to me, and it sent shivers through the very depths of my being. It hurt a little, and
scared me a little, but it had a singular sweetness to it as well. Desire welled up inside me...a desire for
the two of us to be blended together even more profoundly. All power, all resistance, left me. I felt as if
my body was about to melt away, like the wax of a candle.

All that kept my senses from melting along with it was that I was at risk of suffocating to death.

“Nnn... Nnnnnn!”

I can’t take this, it’s too much, it’s impossible, it’s impossible I’m telling you! It hurts and I’m going to
die!

I held my breath right up to the very limit of my body’s capacity.

Then, when I was just on the verge of passing out, Lord Simeon finally released me. I didn’t care about
good decorum or my reputation anymore—all I wanted was some air. He propped me up as I hung limp
and gasped for breath.

With a chuckle in his voice he said, “That’s more in line with what I was hoping for.”

Ugh, what does he expect from me!?

But I did know what he meant. I had enough background knowledge for that. I am a romance novel
author, so it would be entirely remiss of me to suggest that I didn’t know what he meant!

Still, the idea that a scene like this might occur in my own life had never once entered my consciousness.
For some reason or another, I saw the very idea as something entirely separate from real life. It might
happen in a story, but that was all.

...And I should never have seen it that way, now that I think about it.

“I thought I was going to die,” I gasped eventually.

“Perhaps you shouldn’t have stopped breathing.”

Of course I stopped breathing! Who can endure something like that and manage to keep breathing! It’s
the only normal reaction! Isn’t it!?

Lord Simeon laughed at my visible indignation. But even as I scowled at him, one glance at his well-
formed lips made my whole body turn hot as I thought about what had just happened.
It feels a little late now, I thought to myself, but...I’m embarrassed. Ugh, surely it’s foul play for him to
act like that. For him to be so overwhelmingly sweet in such a forceful and merciless manner.

Even my ears were red hot. But despite that, I suddenly let out a sneeze. “Oh, excuse me,” I said
afterwards. How embarrassing. Why now of all times? It makes me look foolish. After all the effort spent
warming myself up before returning, it seemed Lord Simeon and I had talked for so long that I’d gotten
cold again.

“No need to feel self-conscious,” he replied. “Though I am wondering, all of a sudden, why this room is
so cold in the first place.” With an expression that suggested he had only just now realized properly that
this was the case, he took a glance around the room. “What happened to the fire?”

“There was never one lit in the first place. Marchioness Bernadette’s orders, most likely.” Anger rose on
Lord Simeon’s face, but I shook my head. “I doubt it’s contempt for me specifically. If you compare the
circumstances of House Montagnier and House Flaubert, it’s understandable that they’d have some
deep-seated jealousy and indignation toward your family. The marquess and his wife are known for
being very proud people. They’re not in a position to do anything against you directly...but they can
target your fiancée instead.”

“But I can’t imagine—”

“And they have ample reason to detest me. I’m from a house that’s not worthy of any particular note, so
my own status is very low. Despite this, they have to feign politeness and treat me as a guest in front of
you and His Highness. They must find it extremely unpleasant.”

“The very idea is preposterous,” he replied. “Regardless of a guest’s social rank, if you’ve welcomed
them into your home, treating them with the proper respect is a matter of basic courtesy. In fact, it
would be more embarrassing for them to treat a guest poorly. Anyone who cares one whit about honor
and prestige would do their utmost to avoid overlooking even the smallest detail.”

“I quite agree, Lord Simeon. However, what you describe are the thought processes of a person of
sound mind.” I smiled wryly and caressed his cheek.

He took my hand and wrapped it inside his own. “You’re cold.”

“Oh, sorry.” I tried to draw my hand back, but he held on to it.

“That’s not what I mean. I’m sorry I didn’t notice sooner that you were quite this cold.”

He embraced me again, immersing me in his warmth. Then his eyes briefly rested on the overcoat on
the back of the chair, and he immediately looked away sullenly. “I’ll summon a maid, so I’d suggest you
get into bed.”

“It’s already so late, so it hardly matters if there’s a fire or not. Once I fall asleep, it’s all the same.”

“How will you get to sleep when you’re practically frozen solid?”

I considered for a moment. “Perhaps you could hold me for a little while longer, then?” I
presumptuously nestled my cheek against his broad chest. “If we stand like this, I feel very warm.”
Lord Simeon’s body heat and heartbeat radiated through his uniform. I wondered if it was my
imagination that his heart was beating rather quickly.

Meanwhile, my own heart continued to dance, just as it had done for some time now.

“Falling asleep like this would be very cozy indeed.”

“Am I to take that as an invitation?”

“Oh, certainly not,” I replied. “I’m far too tired to do something that requires that much energy.”

Without letting me go, Lord Simeon slumped over with a fatigued expression. “Sometimes I fear you
may be an irredeemably wicked woman.”

But even as he grumbled, he stooped over and wrapped one arm around the back of my knees. He easily
lifted me up and carried me over to the bed, where he lowered me down and then reached for his belt.

Is he about to undress? My heart, which had been dancing a light waltz, instead began to engage in
some sort of frenzied folk dance from a tropical island.

“Lord Simeon, I... You must understand, that’s not what I was getting at.” In a panic I started to get up,
but he held me back.

“Nor am I a man with so little self-control. I merely intend to play the role of a bed warmer until you fall
asleep.”

A bed warmer? Admittedly, he would make a splendid bed warmer, and it wouldn’t conflict with what I
said... But even so!

He removed the belt around his waist, and his sword as well, and put his saber on the bedside table.
Then he lifted his hands to the stand-up collar of his jacket, which was always tightly fastened right up to
the top, and began to unfasten the buttons without a moment’s hesitation. As the white shirt gradually
appeared beneath it, the dancer in my heart spat flames.

A breath caught in my throat. Th...th-th-th-this is...!

“N-n-no, Lord Simeon, that’s far enough! Please, you mustn’t undress any further!”

I fought with all my might to stop his hands, which had reached halfway down by this point.

Lord Simeon looked to the side with something of a peevish expression. “I told you, I don’t have
anything untoward in mind. Though if it bothers you, I’ll stop.”

I shook my head rapidly. “You misunderstand! The way it is now, with your jacket half unbuttoned... It’s
sublime! It would be much worse if you took it off entirely!”

“What the devil do you...?” He looked back at me with a perplexed look.

I looked up at him, spellbound and struggling to contain a nosebleed. “And if you don’t mind, could you
undo the top two buttons of the shirt underneath? If I had just a fleeting glimpse of your clavicle, it
would make it absolutely perfect!”
This image! The Demon Vice Captain, always firmly enclosed in his cold uniform, showing just the
slightest of chinks in his armor! Having a peek at the forbidden territory hidden beneath, from which a
tremendous sensuality flowed like a river! This, exactly this, was the essence of everything my fangirl
heart desired!

Lord Simeon shut his eyes tightly and seemed to be forcibly holding back words. Then he suddenly
moved his hands very quickly and unfastened all of the buttons before vigorously throwing off the jacket
in practically the same motion.

I couldn’t help letting out a loud sigh of disappointment. If he undressed as unreservedly as that, it had
quite the opposite effect on me. Being able to almost see, but not quite, is far more enticing. What a
waste!

“My word. What am I to do with you?” With an angry look, Lord Simeon lifted the covers off the bed and
rolled me over, almost as if he was throwing me. I let out a yelp. Then he rapidly took off his boots and
leaned over me as I attempted to right myself. In seconds I found myself tightly wrapped up in both the
bedsheets and his embrace.

“It always comes back to that, doesn’t it?” He sighed. Then he untied the bun and let my hair flow across
the sheets. “No matter what happens, no matter where you go, you’ll never change.” He spoke in a
resigned and sorrowful voice while brushing his fingers through my hair.

I turned to look at his face. He was so close that I could read his expression clearly even without my
glasses. He did not appear to be angry. “I’m sorry. Indeed, I can’t change, much like you couldn’t
suddenly become a shallow playboy. This is who I am.”

“I understand that, but...” He let out another deep sigh.

“Lord Simeon, I apologize for making you suffer. For making you feel so lonely. I was lacking in
consideration for your feelings. It was very unkind of me, and I’m truly ashamed of how thoughtless I
was. I regret it with all my heart.”

He just continued to look at me.

“But, as I said earlier, I really do love you, Lord Simeon. I don’t merely idolize you from a distance, or
anything like that. You’re not just a handsome man, you’re also one that can be overly serious and
inflexible, even a bit tactless. Those aspects of you may frustrate me sometimes, but they’re all part of
what makes you who you are, and what I love is all of that put together. Even when you act in ways I
can’t fangirl over at all, my love for you doesn’t change.”

I reached out my arms as well, and the already narrow distance between us vanished altogether. I clung
on tightly to him, eager to feel every bit of his warmth and dependability.

“Incidentally, when I talk about ‘fangirling,’ you might think of it as a highly specialized word, but the
feeling that sets it off is not unique to me. It’s something that exists in everyone’s hearts. Some people
see a puppy or a kitten innocently rolling around on the floor, and they find it so unbearably cute that
their heart starts racing. Or in your case, as a knight, perhaps when you see a sturdy young warhorse
with a glossy coat, you yearn to ride it. There are people who think the latest models of ships are too
thrilling for words, people who feel overwhelming joy when they enter a room filled with antique books,
people who find themselves spellbound by high-quality silk and lace, people who adore seeing the
smiles on their family’s faces more than anything in the world... All sorts of different things move people
and set their hearts ablaze. That is what it means to be a fangirl—or fanboy, of course. It’s finding what
you love, what you find truly wonderful, and letting yourself be excited about it. It’s a natural part of
how the human heart works.”

I softly kissed his nose, just as he had kissed mine not so long ago.

“The one I fangirl over most of all is you, Lord Simeon. You’re the one I find more attractive than anyone
else, the most interesting, the most adorable. You’re the one I most want to have by my side. How could
that not be the case when I love you more than anyone and anything?”

Lord Simeon’s arms were suddenly filled with strength, and he moved in to kiss me deeply. This time I
accepted it calmly. My love for him overflowed infinitely from every place where I sensed the heat of his
body on mine.

“I’m sorry for causing such a misunderstanding,” I said at last. “And for making you worry.”

“And I’m sorry for accusing you in such a childish manner.”

We nuzzled cheek to cheek. I felt just the slightest hint of a beard growing on his face. The color was so
pale that it had never stood out to me before. I suppose he is a man, after all.

“If I leave you feeling dissatisfied, or anxious, then please, accuse me in whatever manner you like.
Otherwise I’ll simply go at full gallop with my fangirling. Sometimes I need to be reined in a bit.”

“It would be hugely helpful for me if you could restrain yourself before it reaches that point.” But even
as he said that, he smiled. It was his usual smile, kind but with a hint of exasperation. He wasn’t angry
any longer. It seemed we had managed to get through this without causing him to lose his affection for
me after all. I was incredibly glad.

I had better be more careful from now on. I mustn’t be so inconsiderate that he really does give up on
me.

But there was no chance that I would stop being a fangirl. It’s like breathing for me; it’s not something I
do on a conscious level. As long as I live, I will never stop seeking the thrill that comes from being a
fangirl.

Concealing my fangirl heart would be the same as revealing nothing of my heart at all. It would prevent
us from ever being a proper married couple who could be open and trust one another. Lord Simeon had
fallen in love with me knowing I was like this, so I didn’t want to hide anything from him. I just had to be
careful not to be so self-centered that I caused him harm. I would have to guard against my worst
excesses by reminding myself that he was the most important thing to me, and that I couldn’t stand to
lose him.

I basked in the warmth of lying nestled against him in the bed. Heat had returned even to the frozen tips
of my fingers and toes. My whole body, which had grown rather tense, gradually began to relax. I let
myself give in to my drowsiness, and felt sheer bliss as I slowly began to drift off.

“You’re no longer cold?”

“I’m very warm now. This feels so good. Wouldn’t you agree?”

“I agree completely.” That voice, whispering right into my ear, was so dear to me.

“Once we’re married, we’ll be able to sleep like this every single night, won’t we?”

“Absolutely.”

“I wish our wedding wasn’t so far away...”

In response, I heard a flustered cough as he cleared his throat. “Can you please exercise just a touch of
moderation? If I fail to control my passion, don’t expect me to take the blame.”

“...Excuse me...?”

“Marielle? Have you fallen asleep?”

Asleep? No... I’m... Oh, I’m so tired... I can’t even keep my eyes open any longer.

But I still have things to tell him. I have to report everything I found out about Lady Michelle and Lutin.

But I didn’t stand any chance against the incoming waves as they swept over me, heavy and snug and
calm.

All tomorrow. Tomorrow.

That was my last thought before I had no choice but to give in.