Shannon Hawkes

COMM 2110
Personal Change Project – Final Report
April 23, 2022

Personal Change Project – Final Report

Overview

The basis for my personal change project was to put in significant effort over the semester to

become a more active listener and better communicator. This project allowed me to dig in and analyze

why I wasn’t being an effective communicator and listener throughout my conversations, and I noticed

this was happening especially in my place of work. I was able to apply many different techniques and

strategies learned throughout this semester to help me accomplish that goal. I have seen improvement

throughout the past few months with my communication skills, and I think the biggest change I see in

myself is being aware and being intentional in my conversations.

Unwanted Communication Pattern

My unwanted communication pattern was multitasking, or half listening to individuals that were

trying to have a conversation with me. I would often start reviewing emails or continuing to work while

someone is trying to have a conversation with me that required my attention. A few examples are:

o At work, my co-worker Karina came stopped in the doorway of my office and proceeded to ask

me questions about a client and how she should have the situation. I had a lot going on, and on

my mind that day and didn’t take the time to stop what I was doing and fully engage in the

conversation with her. I would nod here and there, getting bits and pieces of the information but

when she proceeded to say, “so what would you suggest I do?” I realized that I didn’t listen to

half of what she said because I was reading and responding to other emails. I had to ask her to

repeat what it was that she needed advice on which was a waste of both of our time.
Shannon Hawkes
COMM 2110
Personal Change Project – Final Report
April 23, 2022

o Another situation at my workplace was with one of the Attorney’s in my office. He has a habit of

walking around the office when he has downtime and interrupting productive work time to chat

about things that really aren’t important. When he does this, I tend to half listen to what he is

saying, and chime in with small responses but I am not being productive in my work or the

conversation because I am doing both at half capacity. I should have either given him my full

attention or let him know that I didn’t have the time to have that conversation. Either of those

options are better than disrespecting someone with being half engaged in a conversation.

o A situation in my personal life that I have struggled with this unwanted communication pattern

was when my husband’s aunt came into town from out of state and we all went to have lunch

together. She asked me how work and school were going, and because I tend to get shy in social

situations, I said that things were great then avoided eye contact with her in hopes to take the

conversation pressure off of myself. I should have taken a more selfless approach and made sure

that she knew that I valued the conversation regardless of if I was a little shy. This could

potentially show her that I am not interested in communicating with her which is far from the

truth.

Strategies

There are several stratagies that I learned throughout the semester that can help me break this

habit. I think that attendance (Beebe, Beebe & Redmond, 2018, p. 118) is one of the most influential.

“Attention can be fleeting. You may attend to the sound for a moment and then move on or return to

other thoughts or other sounds, similar to how you might flip through channels on your TV before finally

selecting a program” (Beebe, Beebe & Redmond, 2018, p. 118) this cite from the textbook hit home for

me because its truly how I felt without my actions being intentionally bad. I want to have constructive
Shannon Hawkes
COMM 2110
Personal Change Project – Final Report
April 23, 2022

conversations but needed to realize that in order to gain that, I had to have the intention of being

present, or attendance in my conversations. Its not fair to the people I am communicating with to see my

eyes flip from email after email, then be asked to repeat themselves. I know that I have been on the

receiving end of a conversation like that, and it makes you frustrated that someone is wasting your time

by not attending the conversation.

Another strategy that I implemented was look (Beebe, Beebe & Redmond, 2018, p. 127).

“Nonverbal messages are powerful. As the primary ways we communicate feelings, emotions, and

attitudes, they play a major role in the total communication process, particularly in the development of

relationships. Facial expressions and vocal cues, as well as eye contact, posture, and the use of gestures

and movement, can dramatically color the meaning of a message.” (Beebe, Beebe & Redmond, 2018, p.

127). Eye contact has always been a struggle for me, and something that I avoided. This was something

specifically that I worked hard to implement into my conversations in hopes to make then better. I found

that when I took the time to fully attend the conversation coupled with eye contact and no-verbal queues

my conversations were so much more productive and meaningful. I remember a conversation with a co-

worker, that when she entered my office although I had the urge to keep working, I stopped and gave the

eye contact and attendance that she deserved from me. The conversation was very positive, but also

straight and to the point. I learned throughout this course that I do myself and others a disservice with my

bad habit. I always seemed to be so pressed for time but when I applied these strategies the

conversations went so much faster than if I was half listening half working because neither my

conversation nor work was productive.

Constraints
Shannon Hawkes
COMM 2110
Personal Change Project – Final Report
April 23, 2022

Habits are hard to break, I think that the timeframe is 30 days with consistency is the way to kick

a habit. The biggest constraint that I felt was falling back into my old habit and the struggle to stay

consistent, and it took mind over matter to be able to succeed. Motivation was another substantial

constraint for me. It was tough to stay in this project at times and not crawl back into what was easy and

comfortable. Another constraint that I came across was to not be self-absorbed in my conversations and

what would be easier for me instead of what could and would benefit people around me.

Implementation

As I stated above mind of matter and not falling back into my old habit was a big constraint that I

felt. I was constantly reminding myself in conversations to be more present. It was little things that made

the world of difference. For example, I remember an instance where I was in the kitchen making dinner

and my husband was in the living room. We were talking about our days just catching up. Even though I

was occupied with dinner, I made a point to make eye contact with my husband or shake my head to

ensure he understood that I was listening and invested in the conversation. Another instance would be a

conversation with a co-worker. I made the conscious effort to give her my full attention and eye contact

We were talking and catching up on life, and she ended up sharing that her and her husband are trying

for another baby. I am so glad that I took the time to really listen to her and let her catch up on her life. I

think that it made me a better co-worker, and really benefited our personal relationship.

Not being self-absorbed was also a constraint that I was trying to overcome. I never meant to be

this was on purpose, but I know that the habit I was trying to break was simply being self-absorbed and

not caring how my actions could affect others. I remember a conversation with a co-corker regarding an

important time sensitive project that he needed my hands on deck for. My first though was to be

frustrated that he didn’t plan correctly, and that I had to drop everything to accommodate his mistake of
Shannon Hawkes
COMM 2110
Personal Change Project – Final Report
April 23, 2022

not realizing the deadline. I then tried to correct my behavior because I could tell that he felt bad about

putting not only me, but other team members in that situation. Although the situation was frustrating,

changing my attitude to being helpful rather than sour made a world of difference. I tried to achieve each

of the constraints listed above but know that I also failed at them at times. You just have to get back up

and keep putting forth the effort to break that habit and do the work in order to do better.

Results

I think that the most positive consequences I experienced was being able to have meaningful

conversations and experiences with the people in my life that really leveled up my relationships. I think

that this helped a lot in the way that I communicate with my husband, and friendships with co-workers on

a personal level. I think that they really could see a difference in me during our interactions and that is all

that I could have hoped for. Some negative consequences that I experienced were frustrations with

myself when I know that I wasn’t implementing things into my life in order to meet my goal. The setbacks

of me falling back into old habits were definitely the most frustrating.

Overall, I think that my attempt to overcome my goal and habit breaking turned out like I thought

that they would. The textbook materials can teach a lot of valuable things and techniques to use but the

motivation and intention to make those changes I think is what outshines everything.

Recommendations

I do think that I will continue this course of action, it did nothing but benefit me and shape me

into a better communicator. Bettering yourself is always something that everyone can improve on and

since this course of action has been working for me, I absolutely want to stick with it and continue to

implement it in my life. I do think a new strategy that could help me in the future would be to transform
Shannon Hawkes
COMM 2110
Personal Change Project – Final Report
April 23, 2022

listening barriers into listening goals (Beebe, Beebe & Redmond, 2018, p. 128). “Make it a goal not to

focus on your personal agenda. Use self-talk to manage emotional noise. Do not criticize the speaker.

Capitalize on the differences between your information processing rate and the speaker’s verbal delivery

rate by creating mental summaries as you listen.” (Beebe, Beebe & Redmond, 2018, p. 128). The main

idea with this strategy that stuck out to me was to not focus on your personal agenda and use self-talk to

manage emotional noise. Two key points that I can continue to work on.
Shannon Hawkes
COMM 2110
Personal Change Project – Final Report
April 23, 2022

Works Cited

Beebe, S. A., Beebe, S. J., & Redmond, M. V. (2018). Interpersonal communication: relating to others. (9th
ed.). Boston, MA: Pearson.