FITTING IN: RELATIONSHIP WITH STUDENTS

There are three kinds of relationships with students. There are close, distant and formal
relationships. Close relationship is when students and teacher are like friends. In this kind of
relationship, students will tend to be too open to the teacher as they will talk about their personal
problems and other stuff. As for distant relationship, students will tend to treat teacher as if the
teacher is not at the front teaching them or maybe they will remain silent throughout the whole
lesson. Last but not least is formal relationship. In this relationship, teacher and students have
boundaries that students are aware of that. In other words, they will not be as silent as a class
of dead people but not going too far by talking about random things like in close relationship.
Throughout our practicum, we eventually experienced all of those kind relationships. In this
section, we will state the advantages and disadvantages of each relationship and not to forget,
to recommend future teachers including us which relationship should we build and which should
not.

At the early stage of practicum, we came to school with zero idea about what to do and
what kind of relationship we want with the students. In fact, we never thought of that. We just
went in to the class and go with the flow. Some of us set ground rules and some of us did not.
Whether we set ground rules or not, the relationship happened at this moment was distant
relationship. At this stage, students tend to look down on us and not ecstatic with our presence.
They will set a huge gap between them and the teacher and it is up to the teacher whether want
to stay that way or change it to formal or close relationship. There is no advantage of having
distance relationship. Teachers will never learn about their students and students will surely not
learn anything from the students. With this relationship, teachers will not know their students’
weaknesses and strengths. Thus, what is the use of having this kind of relationship because our
main objective as teachers is to educate them? None of us, well in fact none of teachers on this
earth will recommend to build this kind of relationship.

At the middle stage of practicum, all of us start to build a formal relationship with the
students. We were strict, firm, shouting, yelling, scolding and other stuff that other normal
teachers do. We wanted to be respected as teacher, we wanted them to listen to every single
instruction that we gave and we wanted everything to be under our control. So we became
teachers. This relationship will work if you truly are strict and they somehow will feel scared of
you. But are you willing to do this throughout your 20 years or maybe 30 years of teaching?
Even we ourselves tired of doing this and we only taught them for 2 months. Yes, they will
submit their works and give co-operation but only after we shout, scold, yelling and etc. We
agree that this kind of relationship we make a very silent and formal classroom. Most of the
teachers at our school go for this kind of relationship. However, we all agree that we will go for
close relationship.

We highly recommend all the teachers and future teachers to build a close relationship with
students. When you build a close relationship with them, they will be more open to talk about
their problems and other things. When we know our students, it will make our job easier to teach
them as we know the cause to their weaknesses and attitude in class. From there, we can plan
strategies on how to tackle their interest and what should or should not do in the class.
However, bare in mind that when we have this kind of relationship, students somehow tend to
cross the line and we as teachers should remind them and be firm that they cannot do this and
they cannot do that. Be their friends but still have boundaries as student and teacher. They
cannot simply call you using your name without formal address such as cikgu, sir, miss or
madam. Let them know you and let them feel comfortable with you but do not let them go over
comfortable, and as the result, the students will listen to your instructions without you screaming
and yelling. It might take quite sometimes to start the lesson as the students will be so eager to
meet and there will always have something they want to talk about with you but, when you start
the lesson, the lesson will be smooth and they will listen to your lesson without bothering to talk
to their friends sitting beside them. Speaking of homework, you will be surprised as the number
will increased and you will not have to remind them over and over again. This happen because
they start to respect you more than a teacher. They will assume and treat you like their older
sister, brother or maybe they will treat you like their father and mother and they do not will to
break your heart. This relationship is highly recommended by teachers need to be smart so that
the students will not be overboard.

At the end of the day, it is all up to the teacher on what kind of relationship that they
want to build with the students. It is up to the teacher how they want the class to look like. Time
will somehow influence you and from time to time, you somehow will change your relationship
with your students. However, as for us, we more likely to have close relationship and make the
English lessons fun. Fun beyond their expectations.
Introduction

Before we go in depth with the topic chosen by us, we think it is important to tell a little bit
about our school background. We were from three different schools. Two of us were from single
sex schools which are SMK Methodist ACS, Klang and Bukit Bintang Boys Secondary School
Petaling Jaya. Both of them are boys school. The other one is SMK Raja Mahadi, Klang which
is a co-ed school. All of us were in the afternoon session, teaching mainly form 1 and form 2
only. We faced different kind of problems and environment but when we sit together and talked
about our experience, we realized that what we faced were more or less the same and the way
we overcome out it also nothing much differ from each other.

Building relationship with students, teachers and administrative staff are extremely
important. Building relationship with them will make our job easier in any ways. Other than
making our job easier, we also will have fun working as a teacher. The big question here is
HOW? Throughout this assignment, we are going to write based on what we have experienced
in 3 months of teaching. Three different schools, three different scenario and three different kind
of students but we somehow faced the same problems and used the same methods. In addition,
we are also will be discussing on how to build a relationship with students, teachers and
administrative staff and not to forget to recommend which method is suitable for every category.