Monster-mentary – Caspar Hayes 3/3/2022

We open on a black and white opening, a man, CASPAR, college

student, walks into frame in a neat suit, looking like the
intro to an episode of the twilight zone, the music is
fittingly moody and classical.

Caspar
Many creatures live among us today, from the deepest pits of
the pyramids to the darkest lagoons on earth. Many we know of,
viewing them in our day to day lives, some are celebrities,
but rarely do we gain a proper glimpse into their existence,
what it means for them and the lives they live. Today I
(barely) have found three of the famous monsters we know of:
the original Frankenstein the famous man who was brought back
from the dead and the grand children of the invisible man and
the wolfman. In this student documentary I wish to show you
and maybe open your eyes to what it’s like for them.

Title sequence begins and ends. We cut to a shot of outside a

house, you see Caspar walking.

Caspar
Now, I had actually considered a lot of options before these
guys, uh, zombies were one of them funnily. Enough but uh...

We cut to see him knelt down at a grave with a microphone, the

mumblings of the zombie were barely heard underneath the
ground.

Caspar
Uh, sorry I can’t hear you; I’ll have to skip this sorry.

Zombie
(Muffled) OI NO, COME BACK, I WANT THAT INTERVIEW.

Cut back to Caspar walking up to the wolfman’s house.

 Caspar
AND the creature from the black lagoon.

We cut to see Caspar running away from the creature as it

curses at him in fish blubbers.

Caspar
Now, finding the infamous wolfman wasn’t necessarily hard, but
what was hard was getting him to agree to even meet me.

The Wolfman opens the door, he peaks open, he looks tired and
annoyed.

Wolfman
Yes? (annoyed)

Caspar
Oh hey, uh, we spoke about doing an interview for my school
project (awkward)

Wolfman
Oh! Right, you’re the tw*t that spammed my email!

Caspar
Y-yep, that’s me.

Wolfman
Fine, let’s get this over with.

We cut to them sat down for an interview. Caspar looks awkward

and shifts the camera around, the wolfman looks bored and
doesn’t want to be there.
 Caspar
There we go, okay. So, I guess we can begin with some family
history? What can you tell me about your family?

Wolfman
Well, where do I start bloody hell.

Caspar
Preferably with the start of the werewolf curse in your
family.

Wolfman
Alright, bossy. As far as I know it’s gone back centuries,
years, and years. I just know my grandpa, the first proper
well known one was bitten by a werewolf one time.

Caspar
What was he doing at the time?

Wolfman
My grandmother said he enjoyed his “alone time” in the woods.
And during this alone time, he got attacked by a big old
werewolf, strange day for him. And ever since then it’s run in
the family.

We cut to them touring around the house, the wolfman shows his
grooming brush and his dog food and his favourite throwing
ball.

Cut back to the interview.

Caspar
Tell me, what it’s like living as a werewolf?
 Wolfman
It sucks.

Caspar
What’s wrong with it?

Wolfman
What’s wrong with it? What isn’t wrong with it?! Dogs attack
me at nauseum or seem to think I’m their lover, I get cravings
for dog food, bones and this weird fondness of those door
stopper things and the noise they make! Not to mention,
there’s hair all over my bed, I wake up in random spots after
a full moon!

Caspar
What’s been the strangest place you woke up?

Wolfman
Uhh. There was an article about it. It was titled “Crazed
furry wakes up in the Thames”, actually I wanna talk about
that, worst part is people assume I’m a bloody furry. I’m not.
I may turn into a giant bloody creature but I’m NOT a furry.
You got it?

Caspar snickers.

Wolfman
I’m not mate. I’m just not. (angered)

We cut to them later in their walk.

Wolfman
Ah sh*t.
 Caspar
What is it?

Wolfman
Dogs...

Caspar
Oh right, your fatal attraction to them.

Wolfman
Yeah, so we’re gonna have to rush through.

Caspar
You sure?

Wolfman
Yeah, should be ok-

We cut to them being chased by dogs and screaming in fear as

you hear barks following them. We cut back to them arriving
back at his house, both are out of breath.

Wolfman
Okay, I’m done. I’m done for today, goodbye.

Caspar
Wait. So, I can’t see you transform?

They stand in silence for a moment.

Wolfman
 … Piss off.

He closes the door on Caspar. We cut to later that night.

Caspar
So, I've heard he often patrols these woods when he turns
into a wolfman. So maybe I can capture it on camera if he
happens to come on by. But, uh. I’m not gonna stay
because it’s extremely cold and my mum doesn’t like me
staying out too late.

He leaves and the camera is left on for a while. You then

see a monstrous hand smack the camera. It growls and
snarls and then proceeds to urinate on the camera. We cut
to the next morning where we hear Caspar approach the
camera. Upon smelling it, he promptly freaks out. We then
transition to the Invisible man section.

We see Caspar walk up to the invisible man’s house and

ring the doorbell.

Caspar
I had to uh, get permission from the police to meet him
currently. He’s apparently under house arrest for...

He looks through his notes.

Caspar
Showering in the women's changing room at the local pool.
I see...

The door opens and we see nobody on the other side.

Caspar
Uhhh.
 Invisible man
Hello.

Caspar
OH JESUS (jumps) you scare people this often?

Invisible man
You get used to it.

Caspar
Right. May I enter?

Invisible man
Sure.

Caspar walks in and accidentally bumps into him and

apologises. He keeps doing it until the invisible man
gets tired and offers to go first.

We cut to an empty chair being pulled in as you hear him

sit down for the interview.

Caspar
So, tell me a bit about your family I suppose. How’d
(gestures) this happen?

Invisible man
Well, my dad was a sciency kinda guy, he did a bunch of
experiments, most failed but one was successful, he
turned himself invisible. Nothing more, pret ty simple.

Caspar
 And that lead to what we see now?

Invisible man
Well, the problem was that this formula wouldn’t wear
off, and unfortunately it carries on through each
generation so here’s why you got what you see now.

We cut to see him show pictures of himself, the pictures

don’t show anyone, but he points out where he is in them.

Caspar
Sorry, before we continue anymore actually. Are you...

Invisible man
Naked?

Caspar
Yes. Naked.

Invisible man
Yes.

The two sit in awkward silence.

Invisible man
It make you uncomfortable or something?

Caspar
Uh. A bit yeah.

Invisible man
 Listen, my balls may be hanging out, but you can’t see
em. So, it’s okay.

Caspar
You mind putting some clothes on.

Invisible man
UGGGGHHHHH fiiine.

He leaves muttering to himself. He then comes back in a

ski mask and coat with long trousers.

Invisible man
Happy?

Caspar
Better.

He sits back down.

Caspar
Anyhow, what’s it like being invisible?

Invisible man
It’s like being a normal human, but you can trip people
up in the streets and get away with it.

Caspar
(mutters) clearly doesn’t apply for the women's changing
rooms...

Invisible Man
 Excuse me?

Caspar
What? Anyhow, have you ever been in trouble for this?

Invisible man
Only a few don’t worry (reassuringly)

We cut to see a police chief.

Police chief
Theft, assault, disturbing the peace, littering, we are
very familiar with the man.

Caspar
I guess to wrap things up I wanted to ask what do you do
for work?

Invisible man
Well, I’ve done my fair share of work in filmmaking,
turns out a lot of people will hire an assistant who
can’t be seen on a camera, goes for photo shooting too in
magazines, don’t need a green screen or anything, very
cost effective if you ask me.

Caspar
Right, well, that was interesting.

Caspar (V.O.)
Finally, we speak to the man raised back from the dead by
the mad scientist himself. Mr. Frankenstein.

We see Caspar sit down in a seat in front of a camera,

the room is an isolated school studio.
 Caspar
So, Mr... Can I call you Frank?

You then see Frankenstein, dressed neatly in a suit sat

across from him.

Frankenstein
Just call me Frankenstein.

Caspar
Alright (embarrassed)

Caspar
So, uhm, tell me about yourself. People kind of know the
story about you.

Frankenstein
Well, it went a bit differently. So, back in the day, 19th
century, my father, THE Dr. Frankenstein, he had made
multiple attempts beforehand, wasn’t too strange a thing
to do back in the day, lot of scientists doing stuff to
animals and even humans, if you know about Galvanism.

Caspar
There were other attempts?

Frankenstein
Well obviously, there had to have been in order to make
what you see before you. All kinds of attempts were made.
They were often put out of their misery.

Caspar
Well, uh, what about your father?
 Frankenstein
I was a mix and mash of a bunch of dead people, and my
father brought me to life through a process of-

Frankenstein’s arm falls off.

Caspar
OH, you alright?

Frankenstein
It’s cool, let me just attend to this.

He pulls up a briefcase and pulls out an arm that he

attaches to himself.

Caspar
You carry that around with you everywhere?

Frankenstein
Have to, I’m over 200 for God's sake, I had to replace my
entire left leg the other week.

Caspar
So, how often do you have to change your limbs?

Frankenstein
About every few months, depends how badly it gets,
sometimes my entire lower body will just...

He blows a raspberry as he gestures with his hands

Caspar
 Right, so where were we?

Frankenstein
My father.

Caspar
Right, yeah, what was your relationship like with him?

Frankenstein
Well... Father didn’t exactly know what to do when he
found himself having to look after a 6ft undead man, who
he had made with the body parts from robbed graves, so
our relationship wasn’t the best.

We see some pictures of the professor and Frankenstein

together.

Frankenstein (V.O.)
He was certainly a doctor first above all else, he
couldn’t even name me properly, so he just went with the
Jr. Route.

Caspar
So, distant dad?

Frankenstein
Yeah essentially, man was obsessed with his research, for
my birthday once he even fashioned me a bride.

He sits in silence for a moment and his expression drops.

Frankenstein
She was uh, put out of her misery a week later.
 Caspar
Jesus.

Frankenstein
Don’t worry about it, I only have recalling nightmares
every now and then!

Caspar
Being as old as you are, nearly 300.

Frankenstein
That is correct, yes.

Caspar
What would you say was your favourite era you existed in?

Frankenstein
Well, that is a tough one. Y’know as hard as it was to
adapt to, I felt the 80s was really my time. I got
rebellious, had some fun you know, boogied even (as he
says that he shimmies his body mimicking a dance)

Caspar cringes slightly

Frankenstein
It was really when my spirit came through, I even grew an
afro.

Caspar
Any photos of that? (concerned)

Frankenstein
 No, unfortunately I lost them.

Caspar mouths “oh thank god” to himself.

Caspar
What about technology? You gotten the hang of that yet?

Frankenstein
Erm, mostly. I have a phone, remarkable piece of
technology but I find this whole face ID thing hard
considering parts of my face will fall off time to time.

Caspar
You use any social media?

Frankenstein
Oh yes.

Caspar
May I see?

Frankenstein
Sure, just let me...

He pulls out his phone and shows his Instagram page

filled with low quality photos of him.

Caspar
Huh. Well, I think with that we’re just about finished.

Frankenstein
It’s been a pleasure.
 They both shake hands and Frankenstein’s arm falls off
again.

We cut to Caspar as he was in the intro earlier.

Caspar
Well, that was the collected experiences of these famous
beings, perhaps you’ve learnt something new about them,
more about their lives and-

Creature from the black Lagoon

(Translated fish blubbers) OI GET BACK HERE

Caspar
OH GOD NO, NO, NO I’M SORRY FOR THROWING THAT COKE CAN IN THE
RIVER THAT ONE TIME

Caspar looks over and starts to run, the creature chases after
him.

THE END.