Hurst 1

Ainsley Hurst

Jackie Burr, Instructor

English 2010

16 March 2022

No Way Home: The Result of The Lifestyle Not Chosen

The black sheep. The disappointment. The Addict. The Burnden. The Problem. Oh, and

the middle child. The one who is forgotten, looked over and hardwired to be headstrong and

independent. Unfortunately, his free spirited, unconstrained ways led him down the road of

destruction. Nick Adams is the third son, born to Richard and Peggy, who would have three more

children following him. His elder brothers Bronson and Tanner would tease him and shut him

out, and he never could form a lasting relationship with the fourth son, Alex. From an early age

and through the rest of his life, he would move around frequently, never having anywhere steady.

Without a solid friend group or older siblings to lean on, he grew closest with his younger sister.

The only girl of the family, Stephanie, who also happens to share the title of middle child. She

was his built in side kick, his rock. From the beginning they were troublemakers, continuously

feeding off of each other's bad influences. Nick has gone through some of the worst experiences

in his life that have resulted in this negative lifestyle.

When Nick was only ten years old, his youngest brother Cole died at three years old from

a rare form of Leukemia. This took a toll on Nick and he started showing signs of anger issues

and depression, he would often bang his head against the wall and cause harm to himself. Nick

also had an acute chemical imbalance that he has had to be medicated for in order to control

these issues he was facing.

 Hurst 2
Nick grew up in the small town of Parowan Utah, you have little to do here. Because of

this, early on he got mixed in with the bad group of kids and still feels the consequences of that

decision to this day. In high school, Nick and his group of boys would sleep around, vandalize

property, and drink almost every night. A past memory Nick had was lighting metal bottle caps

on fire for fun, placing them on the ground, and then jumping on them. This dumb contest led to

burns, and eventually scars, that will later effect the entire pathway of his life; not to mention that

he still has these scars today.

While in high school, Nick noticed he had a problem and found his safe space in football,

it was his escape, and he wasn't too bad at it either. During his senior year he would move to Salt

Lake, and attend Hunter High, where he was promised a starter position on their football team

along with a scholarship to SUU. Sadly, this promise was not kept, and he rode the bench

majority of the season next to the rest of the chumps. He could only find his worth in his football

abilities, and without that, he felt as though he was lost. Nick felt everything in his life was

wrong and grew angry and shut out the few friends he had. As a result of losing his friends he

turned to his sister Stephanie; they would cut class and often drink heavily together. He barely

graduated high school and felt there was no point in attending college.

As Nick was getting older his codependency issues got worse due to the fact he was

always with his sister. He graduated high school and continued to sleep around and never truly

had a stable relationship romantically. He realized how lonely he felt and tried really hard to

form a relationship straight out of high school; he was married at the young age of only 20 years

old. Him and his wife had a very toxic relationship and she pulled him deeper into drinking, he

was at the point of being classified as a full fledged alcoholic. She caused him to drink six beers

every night for dinner before smoking his way to sleep. His wife got upset at how bad Nick was
 Hurst 3
becoming and tried to hold him accountable for his actions. This made him mad and he divorced

her to feel free again. The marriage lasted less than a year but his single life was even shorter.

Nick moved right onto the next girl and married Brittnay. She had three children from a

previous marriage, but not too long after the wedding Britnay gave birth to Nick’s one and only

child. His family and friends assume that's why he married her. Brittany was addicted to

painkillers, she would repeatedly break her wrist purposely so she could feed her addiction and

be prescribed more pills. She and her marriage with Nick was very unstable and unhealthy. Nick

realized he had a problem with authority and doing things for himself so the relationship became

very rocky. Not only was his home life unstable, but so was his work life. He has relentlessly

bounced around jobs and couldn’t handle his money very well; this led to them running out of

money quickly. They couldn't afford a divocre, let alone their four kids. So they were forced to

sell their house and ultimately ended up separating until they could afford a divorce.

Soon after, the unimaginable happened; Richard, his father, died unexpectedly of a stroke

when Nick was only 21 years old. You cannot imagine the effect this had on him and his siblings.

Soon after his fathers death, Nick’s oldest brother Bronson had a brain tumor removed, around

the same time and he got hooked on his prescription drugs which introduced Nick to his new

found obsession. He started to cope by experimenting with drugs, and continued to sleep around.

However, he found there was nothing to fill that void of his dead father. This unfortunately led

him to trying every drug out there to find that high he was looking for. After receiving a DUI his

eyes were finally opened and he decided to make some very needed changes.

He went cold turkey for a while and moved back to his hometown of Parowan to clear his

head. He had high hopes of relieving his young and wild high school days with his old buddies.

He failed to consider the fact that all of his friends would have families of their own, and had
 Hurst 4
grown out of their teenage shenanigans. He believed that this move would make him happy, but

it drove him nearly mad. His daughter refused to keep contact with him like she had promised, so

this place of his own only lasted a few months before deciding to move back because of his

growing loneliness and snap of reality.

Nick knew he needed to do something with his life so he applied for the US navy upon

his return to fulfill one of his lifelong dreams. He later got accepted but during inspections they

saw the burn marks on the bottom of his feet from all those years before, playing the dumb

bottlecap game, and revoked his spot. They believed this showed he had tendencies of self harm

and didn’t allow this on their team.

This was Nick’s final straw and he went on a major downward spiral and moved into a

whore/drug house. He then got evicted, and let go from his job at Walmart after the police

inspected the house. The little money he did have went to drugs and alcohol to feed his

addiction. From there he moved in with Stephanie who has recently been separated from her

husband, not too long after they fixed their problems and got back together and kicked Nick out.

He started rotating couches throughout the week and would stay with a few friends for a few

nights before moving onto the next couch.

His mother, Peggy and sister Stephanie decided to help him out and rented a hotel room

for him to stay in, but neither of them were in the financial position to keep that up for long.

Nick had nowhere else to turn except for his car. An old beat up Subaru that is missing the

drivers seat window and stunk of weed. Not only that, but it's the middle of winter. Nowhere to

go, no money to cushion his pants pocket, no home to safely return back to, just the feeling of his

body trembling in the freezing cold. He slept in the frigid backseat for two weeks until his

brother Tanner offered him his guest bedroom, after hearing from Peggy about his situation.
 Hurst 5
Just three short months ago he felt that he shouldn't still be alive after everything he has

done and experienced. Nick has expressed that he regrets a wide majority of his decisions. He

feels like Peggy is embarrassed of him. He is disappointed that he has not seen any of extended

family since his family reunion 15 years ago, and that he wasn't invited to the family reunion that

took place last summer. He wishes that he did better in high school , and went to college so that

he could have had a career. He wishes that he had enough financial stability to provide for his

daughter, maybe even travel with her. He wishes that he didn't have the uncontrollable urge to go

outside and smoke a cigarette every hour. He wishes that his life was different, and that he didn't

have to rely on his older brother for a roof over his head.

Through all of these hardships, we can find small wins. As of right now, Nick’s main goal

is to get a job. The one major obstacle is that most places drug tests for marijuana, and much like

high school, he would not pass this test. So he is working on staying clean for 30 days. He is

working towards having his own place so he can be granted visitation rights to see his now 14

year old daughter. It is admirable that he has worked hard to have jobs to support his kids. He has

always been a hard worker and up for big tasks. When he had a job, he would often work

graveyard shifts as a supervisor, not a task many can complete. He is independent and avoids

asking for help, even when he has nowhere to go. Nick is strong and has a good heart, and I

believe that in no time, he can be back on his feet after a life of instability.