Building Relationships – Entry, Dialogue and Closure

Affirming the agreement

This might sound a little legalistic, but stop and think how often
you’ve agreed to do something relatively simple with someone and
only in the course of time realized there was a misunderstanding. One
easy technique to both clarify what everybody must do and secure
alignment involves these three steps:

• Define the solution: “So we’ve agreed that we’ll all meet at the hotel
to run through our presentation at seven tomorrow morning in the
meeting room, and Angelique will run the projection equipment.”
• Explain why it’s a good solution: “That way we can make sure our tim-
ing is tight and finalize who speaks when. Plus we’ll be in place
when the clients arrive at nine.”
• Show the benefits: “I know after the run-through we’ll all be much
more relaxed and confident. That way we can concentrate on the
client’s reactions and be prepared for concerns and questions.”

In a more informal setting, you might say, “Okay, so we’ll all go to din-
ner at the Italian restaurant, leaving here in about 30 minutes. (Defin-
ing the solution.) That will give me time to finish what I am working on,
but we’ll still get to dinner early so we don’t have to wait for a table.
(Explaining why it’s a good solution.) Does this sound alright with every-
one?” (Showing the benefits.)

Supporting the decision

In all relationships, new or old, things happen that cause uncertainty
and anxiety – those times when relationship tension increases to un-
comfortable levels and trust and confidence may be shaken. Co-work-
ers, colleagues, customers, and even close friends all need periodic ev-
idence of your support, a sense that you will be there when they need
you most. This often is necessary when a decision has been taken.
There are two things you can do in the Closure stage of building re-
lationships that can help convey this sense of reliability and stability:

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Building Relationships – Entry, Dialogue and Closure

1. Support Decisions. “Buyer’s remorse” is a phrase that can apply to

just about everything from purchasing a home to deciding to vote
for a specific person as the new managing partner of your firm. It
can occur as last-minute uncertainty just before the actual decision,
or much sooner in the decision-making process. It is a feeling that
can also happen right after the decision and persist for quite a
while. It’s natural to feel some doubt about important decisions, but
it can be stifling to let doubt become excessive. Your purpose is to
keep people feeling positive about their decisions in order to keep
things moving forward on the activities that are the focus of your
relationship.
2. Manage Plans. Relationships inherently involve agreements and
plans. Co-workers who have agreed under your leadership to
complete their pieces of your department’s strategic plan will
want to know you are managing the flow of all the pieces and co-
ordinating everybody else’s deadlines. In a sales situation, after
the checks are signed you may hand off your customer to others
in your organization to handle the installation of the products
you’ve sold. This can be a nervous time for the customer, so it’s
important for you to orchestrate a seamless transition that’s de-
signed to assure satisfaction.

Enhancing the relationship

Don’t take important relationships for granted. Look for ways to make
them better, to tap deeper into the potential you and others bring to
them. There’s a universal belief that it’s almost always easier to earn
new business from an existing satisfied customer, for example, than it
is to sell to new customers. The obvious benefit to a salesperson is that
when things go well with one sale it provides a great opportunity for
exploring additional potential sales with the customer’s company. The
same is true with any relationship. Whatever defines success in a par-
ticular relationship for you, when things are going well the potential
exists to enrich that relationship further.

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