A Pict e Perfect Love

HIBISCUS HILLS STANDALONE SERIES

B. LOVE
#PROLIFICPENPUSHER
 Contents

Introduction
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Epilogue
 Introduction

Hey, Book Bae!

This book is very personal to me. Though I often put a little of
me in my characters, Zuri has a lot of me. I was diagnosed
with fibroids in 2016. Since then, I’ve struggled something
serious, okay? We’re not even going to discuss the paralyzing
pain that comes with them or physical changes to the body.
Not being able to have children has been a battle of its own,
and I think that’s why I’ve dedicated myself to birthing so
many books.
Being able to create lives and worlds from my mind
relieves a great deal of pressure and depression that comes
from not being able to create life in my womb. It’s a struggle
that I know a lot of women deal with, so if that will be an
unpleasant thing for you to read about, I recommend you skip
this book.
Also, with that being said, please do not assume Zuri’s
pain/choices are unrealistic just because you’ve never
experienced what she has gone through. While her having
fibroids is the only part of me that I put in this book, I’m sure
there are other women who dealt with the pain and
consequences that Zuri has as well. So please, be mindful of
that when leaving your reviews.
I hope you enjoy Zuri and Mayan’s love story!
To the woman who struggles with not being able to create life
in her womb. May you find peace there and know that you are
more than just an incubator. There are more ways to create
and give life on this earth. I pray you find one that gives you
joy.
 Chapter One

Z uri
NO ONE EVER CHOSE ME .

Not me for me.

As I was—unconditionally.
Well… they chose me until they became aware of what
else came with me. Then, I became an option instead of a
choice.
As I stared at the post of Iman’s gender reveal with his
girlfriend, I couldn’t help but shake my head as tears rapidly
poured from my eyes. He looked so happy at the sight of blue
confetti. Just two and a half years ago, Iman was telling me he
didn’t want marriage and babies. That’s what made our
relationship so perfect. It appeared we were on the same page.
However, here he was—happily holding his girlfriend as their
family and friends showered them with love.
The longer I watched, the more I hurt. As soon as he put
her back on her feet, Iman kneeled. Scoffing, I exited out of
the post and released a hard breath. People were allowed to
change their minds. Their values. Their desires. Iman was
allowed not to want babies and marriage with me and want
both with someone else.
With a soft sigh, I got up from my bed and headed into my
bathroom. I couldn’t bear to look at my reflection in the mirror
as I splashed cold water onto my face. Instead of suppressing
my emotions like I’d been doing for years, I decided to try the
emotional processing exercise my therapist taught me. I
squatted and placed my palms on the tile floor. For ninety
seconds, I allowed myself to feel the sadness that was about to
cripple me.
After that, I sat Indian Style and rocked while pulling in
calming breaths. Once I felt lightness and smiled, I hugged
myself.
Standing, I headed out of my bedroom as I hummed under
my breath. I wouldn’t say the exercise completely wiped
Iman’s upcoming baby and marriage out of my mental, but it
did release the sadness that came with it. Once I’d made it to
my home office, I sat behind my silver and gold granite desk
to check my booking site and emails. Business had been really
shaky since I’d moved to Hibiscus Hills six months ago.
The move from Memphis seemed necessary at the time. I
was heartbroken and tired of reminders of failed relationships.
Plus, Iman and I had moved in with each other, and seeing as
we’d decided we were better off apart, walking around the
house seeing him daily had become pure torture. Moving so
suddenly, even if to a small town, was still extremely
expensive. I had to completely furnish my two-bedroom
apartment plus re-open my photography business here. At
first, I thought since there weren’t many photography studios
in Hibiscus Hills that I would have unlimited clientele, but
apparently, there weren’t many photographers here for a
reason—these people hardly used them! And the ones they did
use, they were loyal to.
I had been having the hardest time securing clients over
the past six months. Even with me investing in a mobile photo
booth that I rented out for parties… business was far and few
in between. For Valentine’s Day last month, I had the idea to
use the photo booth for blind dates. I set up ads that called for
singles who were looking for a date for the holiday. Included
with signup, I had a questionnaire for them to fill out, and I
used it to put together strangers that would be most
compatible. Up until that point, I’d had one photo shoot and
two parties here. The photo booth blind dates were a hit, and I
ended up making almost twelve-thousand dollars in revenue
last month, but it was nearing the end of March and I hadn’t
made a penny outside of deposits for three upcoming photo
shoots since.
Since I only checked my emails twice a day, I had no idea
one of my shoots for next week had been canceled. Growling,
I slammed my hand on my desk. True enough, I had money
saved from last month, but that wasn’t enough to last me for
the full month of April. I knew the holidays would lead to a
good amount of shoots, but I relied on spring and summer
shoots during my off seasons.
If I didn’t have one problem, I had another. Back in
Memphis, I could at least rely on my love of photography and
the business it led to, to keep me from obsessing over my
horrible personal life. Not only had I sworn off relationships
with the opposite sex, but I only had one true friend. Well, that
was more of a choice. I’d always been a loner when it came to
friends because of how close me and my sister, Rumi, were.
She and my best friend, Skyler, were total opposites, which
gave me the perfect mix when it came to advice and having
fun.
While Rumi was blunt and would tell me to bring my ass
home and stop running, Skyler would be soft and positive and
help me come up with a way to convince myself that moving
here wasn’t a horrible mistake.
Spinning in my gray chair, I looked out of the window and
focused on the patch of mountains in the distance that served
as the perfect landscape. I told myself putting my desk in front
of the window would keep me from being distracted, but that
didn’t really matter. I still found myself turning my chair
around and staring at those mountains… reminding myself
that the dips, points, and roughness were necessary. They gave
climbers something to hold on to while they climbed to the
top. That’s what life’s dips and roughness were supposed to be
—something for me to hold on to while I climbed my
mountain—but God, sometimes I wished the mountain would
just be moved.
 The sound of my phone ringing pulled me out of my
thoughts. As quickly as I could, I headed out of my office and
back to my bedroom. By the time I’d made it, Skyler was
ending the call. With a smile, I plopped down on the brown
bench directly in front of my bed and returned her call.
“Hey,” she answered cheerfully.
“God must have told you I needed to talk?”
“Uh oh. What’s wrong?”
The concern that filled her voice made me get teary eyed,
but I wouldn’t cry. I tugged my gray Savage Fenty robe
closed, suddenly feeling naked in my home though I was
alone.
“It’s just a bad day, Sky. Someone on my timeline shared
that video of Iman finding out what they’re having and
proposing to his girl. On top of that, my photo shoot for next
week was canceled.”
“I’m sorry, babe. I was hoping you wouldn’t see that
video. How are you feeling?”
Sighing, I climbed into my king-sized bed but didn’t
bother to get under my duvet. Instead, I just sprawled out in
the center of it.
“I’m not feeling anything about him right now. I’ve
processed that for the day. Business is my biggest concern. I’m
overthinking. All I keep thinking is that moving here was a
bad idea…”
“What did we say about overthinking?”
Even though I rolled my eyes, I smiled. “There’s no such
thing as overthinking… just bad thoughts.”
“Right. So how do we make the bad thoughts you’re
having good thoughts so you can be at peace?”
I considered my best friend’s question briefly. Hibiscus
Hills became my home because of a failed relationship. Well, a
streak of bad relationships. Now, my problem was a failing
business—in my eyes at least. I’m sure there were tons of
photographers who would love to have the money flowing in
that I did when business was good; I just wished business
stayed good. In order for me to feel secure in my passion
bringing in a consistent profit, I’d need to find a way to bring
in several clients a week every month.
“I need to find a way to secure at least three to five clients
for photography a week and four photo booth rentals a month.
The blind date addition was great for Valentine’s Day. If I can
do that at least once a month, even if in different cities, I think
that would be just what I need.”
“Cool. I’m in my office, so I just wrote all that down. You
have the following on social media, so I think with referrals
and ads we can easily get your blind date weekends booked.
For your weekly clients and parties, we just need to make sure
the people there know what all you have to offer. They’re used
to working with those old ass photographers that’s been doing
their family portraits and senior heads for decades, so I think if
we focus on the new and fresh vibe you bring to the town, it
can open you up to a new market.”
With a chuckle, I sat up. “Not old ass photographers.” I
chuckled again. “But you’re right. They are loyal, and I get it,
I just need to find a way to get them to be loyal to me.”
“Hmm… we know niggas love free shit. So how about a
giveaway?”
“Ooh, that’s a good idea.” I stood and began to pace. “I
could go big for one giveaway or do a monthly giveaway.
Like, maybe a thousand-dollar giveaway at the end of the
month or a smaller monthly giveaway.”
“Do both!” I paused my movements. “This month, you can
do a big giveaway to gain some traction and then follow up
with smaller giveaways starting next month to keep those
people coming in and referring you. Because let’s be honest,
only celebrities and influencers need a photographer
consistently, but… everybody knows somebody that’s got
something going on.”
“Right, right. So I can do something big as hell this month
to appeal to a lot of people and once I have them hooked, use
the monthly giveaway to keep them on my social media and
mailing list so I can get those referrals.”
“Exactly!” When I continued to walk, I headed toward my
office so I could get started since we were brainstorming. “So
since the blind dates did so well last month, I think it’s safest
to do that again.”
“I agree. I’ll do two weekends of blind dates but leave the
rest of my calendar open for photo shoots. So they’ll have two
options to sign up. I don’t want to limit it to just singles.”
“That’s smart. What are you thinking you’re going to give
away? It has to be big and worth it!”
“Hmm…” As soon as I sat down in my seat, I hopped back
up from excitement. “Wait! What do you think about offering
them a free getaway from your travel agency? I’ll pay for it of
course, but yeah! That way when you move here, they will
already be familiar with you!”
Skyler laughed. “I like how you just eased me moving
there in.”
“Listen, we already know I want you to move here. So it’s
a win-win situation.”
She chuckled. “Okay, yes. I’m with this. I can definitely
hook you up with a discounted price too. If you select a
location that I have a contract with, I can get it as low as
seventy-five percent off for you, but we’ll make sure we
promote the full value price, so they know they’re getting an
amazing deal.”
“Yaassssss let’s do it!” Plopping down in my seat, I
allowed my smile to turn into a small pout. “I’m so glad you
called, and thank you for helping me out with this.”
“Always, you know I got you. And I know how much
making it on your own there means to you.”
Releasing a soft breath, I silently thanked God for my best
friend before asking her, “So what’s going on with you?”
 Chapter Two

M ayan
E VERY TIME I went to church and had Sunday dinner with my
family, I was reminded of how empty my life was. Since
turning eighteen, my goals had always been crystal clear—
play in the NBA to make my parents proud, retire and live a
life of travel and leisure to make myself proud, get married
and have a mini army of babies to make my grandparents
proud. I wouldn’t have made any of those things my priority if
I didn’t truly want every fucking one. So far, at thirty-one, I’d
done two of the things on my life to-do list.
I’d been drafted into the NBA while I was still in college
and played three seasons before retiring. Since, I’ve traveled
all over the world monthly. The only thing missing was my
wife and kids. And it fucked with me more when I came to
spend time with my family to see my younger sister with her
daughter and my older brother with his fiancée. There wasn’t a
jealous bone in my body, but I couldn’t deny the fact that the
pride and joy I felt for them was laced with a tinge of envy
too. I would never tell them that though.
After setting my napkin in the center of my empty dinner
plate, I stood and headed toward the patio where the rest of my
family had gathered. I’d hung back to take a call. As soon as I
stepped foot outside, my brother, Dru, was saying, “Don’t
forget you need a date for the trip, My,” for what had to be the
third time today.
 I understood he was excited about the co-ed trip they were
taking but damn. Constantly reminding me about the shit
wasn’t going to make me find a woman any faster. I wish they
would have just decided to have normal bachelor and
bachelorette parties, but Tasia always had to be extra. Dru’s
dumb ass believed her when she said it was just so we all
could have a good time, but I knew that was her way of trying
to make sure things didn’t get too wild before their wedding.
Dru was faithful now, but he had just as much of a hoeish
history in Hibiscus Hills as I did. It was no secret to anyone
who saw the video of him that spread on Facebook what
happened when he had alcohol and strippers. That was my
brother, and I loved him, but he had no self-discipline at all.
All the women in his past thought they could change him for
some reason. That if they were perfect enough or gave him
enough freedom he wouldn’t cheat.
Tasia was the first and only one to understand Dru would
never be faithful until he wanted and was ready to. He had to
respect himself and value what he had in his relationship
enough to make that commitment, and I was honestly glad
he’d found a woman worth settling down with.
“I know, Dru,” I stressed calmly, accepting the beer our
father handed me. “You ain’t gotta remind me again either.”
Everyone chuckled, but that didn’t keep him from saying,
“I’ma stay on you about it until you find a date. Tasia’s riding
me about it until you do. So if I have to hear her nagging, you
have to hear mine.”
“Happy wife, happy life,” my dad sang before chuckling.
“They ain’t married yet,” I reminded, smiling as I sat down
on the couch. There were chairs outside too, but I preferred the
couch because it was more comfortable.
“Close enough,” Tasia replied, snaking her neck as she
made herself comfortable on Dru’s lap. “Hey, I think I know
where you can find one. I met with Zuri right after church to
discuss her being our photographer. She mentioned some
photo booth blind date thing she’s doing next weekend.” Tasia
shrugged and looked down at Dru who nodded before
continuing. “You should be able to find a date there.”
“Oh yeah, I heard about that,” Giselle, our sister, agreed. “I
wanted to go to the last one she had but couldn’t because
Tiffani was sick. Let me sign up for this one while I’m
thinking about it.”
As Giselle pulled her phone out of her pocket, I considered
what they were saying. Blind dates really weren’t my thing
because I liked to control who I gave access to me to. Plus,
time wasn’t something I enjoyed wasting. If I couldn’t vet a
woman before we met, I usually kept my distance.
Shit was different now though. Even with all the vetting
I’d done, I was still coming up empty finding a wife in
Hibiscus Hills.
I was known by pretty much everyone that grew up here.
Even though the small-town hero phase had passed since I’d
returned, women still saw me as their meal ticket and way into
exclusive events and circles. It was hard for me to find women
who sincerely wanted to get to know me these days. As much
as I hated it, I was starting to give up. The thought of leaving
home again to find my wife had crossed my mind. At this
point, whatever it took to find a woman that would want me
for me and not my money or who I used to be I was willing to
do—even if that meant signing up for a damn blind date.
“Text me the link, sis,” I requested before telling Tasia,
“Good looking out. Even if it just leads to a one-time thing,
I’m cool with that.”
Tasia’s smile spread and head shook. “I don’t know now.
Based on the reviews on her website, a lot of the couples she
matched up last month are still together. Three of them are
engaged.”
“Already?” Dru asked, voice stretched with exaggeration.
“A month’s more than enough time to fall in love,” our
mother said.
“It took me one week to realize your mother was the one,”
our father added. “I proposed a month later, and we were
married on our six-month anniversary.”
Dru’s eyes rolled and head shook. “That was back in the
day, though. Shit don’t work like that no more.”
“Maybe that’s why so many marriages are failing these
days,” my mother countered.
“Nah, marriages are failing because women aren’t
settling,” Giselle said.
I let their conversation go in one ear and out of the other as
I clicked the link she’d sent me. When they started talking
about marriage and roles and all that bullshit I started tuning
them out. It wasn’t that I didn’t care; I was just tired of talking
about some shit I wasn’t sure I’d even be able to experience.
As I looked over the elevator pitch for the blind date, I had
to admit it was impressive. The premise of not only being
matched by a stranger but falling for one on one date had my
curiosity piqued. Apparently, this Zuri woman was good at
putting people together. She boasted of knowing love when
she saw it… even before the couple felt it. As I clicked on the
button to sign up, I decided there was only one way to find
out…
 Chapter Three

Z uri
“B ABY , you know I could have cooked for you,” my mother
reminded.
I’d come home for the weekend since it was looking like I
would be booked and busy for the rest of the month. The
giveaway idea along with ads took off immediately. Already, I
had five hundred people signed up for blind dates. I was doing
thirty dates per weekend since they were for one hour, so with
blind dates alone my weekends were booked for the next six
months.
Even though photography had always been my passion, I
wondered if God was using me in this season to help people
find true love. If that was the case, I was honored. If not, I was
just glad the photo booth blind dates were so successful.
Because of the ads, I had people from all over the south
scheduling their dates.
As much as I wanted to share the good news with my
family, I decided to wait and tell my sister when we were
alone. My mom and dad supported me, but my mother’s faith
in anything creative or uncommon was often lacking. To her,
reminding me that I could always come home if and when my
business failed was more important than telling me she
believed I would succeed. Since I held this victory sacred, I
didn’t want to share it with them just yet.
 “Yeah, but we don’t have a Rafferty’s in Hibiscus, and I
wanted these croissants.”
I hadn’t even sat down fully before I was pulling my hand
sanitizer out to dig in. Starch was so bad for me, but these
croissants were my weakness.
“Will you be here long enough for Sunday dinner
tomorrow?” she checked, picking up her menu.
I hadn’t planned on staying that late, but it was clear she
wanted to fix me a homecooked meal. Hibiscus Hills was
about two hours away from Memphis, so I could push my
departure time back.
“I can stick around. It would be good to go to church and
see grandma and grandpa anyway.”
“Good,” my father replied, grabbing a croissant. “How’s it
going? You feel like you’ve gotten settled in pretty well?”
With a nod, I chewed and swallowed before answering.
“For the most part. It’s going well. Everyone there is pretty
friendly when I’m out and about.”
“And how’s business?” he continued.
So much for avoiding the conversation. Thankfully, our
waitress stopped by the table to get our drink orders, buying
me a little time.
“Business is great, actually. I’m booked with the photo
booth for the next six months.”
“That’s great,” he said, while Rumi nudged me and
added…
“That’s what’s up, sis. We gotta go out and celebrate when
we leave here.”
“Congratulations, Zuri. Is this actually photography or the
blind date stuff?” my mother asked.
“Both,” was all I offered, not wanting to tell her the bulk
of it was for the blind dates.
She nodded, and I could tell by the way she pressed her
lips together that she wanted to say more. “Well, I’m proud of
you. Happy to hear that business is going well. But if it slows
down… you know you can always come back home.”
Nodding and forcing a smile, I replied with, “Thanks, Ma,”
through gritted teeth.
I knew she wasn’t trying to intentionally be negative or
make me feel like she didn’t believe in me, so I let it ride.
More than anything, when she said shit like that, it motivated
me to go even harder. I couldn’t lie, though, it felt good
knowing I had a support system that had my back. I just
wished she expressed it in a more positive way.
Wanting to get the attention off me, I shifted in my seat
and asked Rumi, “So what’s up with you, sis? How are things
with you and Jamal?”
Her eyes rolled briefly while she thanked the waitress as
she set her drink in front of her. “I dumped his ass.”
“Language,” my mother said, causing Rumi to apologize
quickly before returning her attention to me.
“What?” I shrieked. “Why?”
Just last month, she was talking about how he took her
engagement ring shopping. It took me a little time to warm up
to Jamal because of how protective I was of my sister. She
may have been blunt and hard on the outside, but Rumi was a
softie in relationships. While my struggle with men may have
been them changing the way they treated me when they found
out my truth, Rumi often held on to men far longer than she
should have… exposing herself to unnecessary hurt in the
process. So to hear that she’d broken up with Jamal while they
were considering marriage, he either fucked up royally or my
sister had finally learned to guard her heart.
“Girl, we gon’ have to talk about that over drinks.” Her
eyes shifted to our father briefly who had already begun to
frown.
Chuckling, I nodded. “I got you.”
As our conversations continued to flow, I allowed myself
to relax and enjoy this time with my family. When I made the
decision to leave Memphis, it also meant leaving them behind.
Though I could easily drive to the city, I wouldn’t. The whole
point of me leaving was to escape. I was used to seeing my
family several times a week, so not having that instant access
to them had been the biggest adjustment.
So far, it seemed like it was worth it. There weren’t
constant reminders of Iman or any of my other exes lingering
around my space. Picking up everything and leaving may have
seemed extreme to my parents, but I had to do whatever it took
to preserve my peace. Every time I looked down at my phone,
there was either a new date signup, photography booking, or
like on my social media pages. Finally, it felt like I was getting
confirmation that moving out and moving on was the best
move for me, and I was happy to see what else was in store.
 Chapter Fo

M ayan
A S MY EYES scanned her frame, I prayed to God she was the
woman I was about to go on a blind date with. Even with me
just seeing her from the back and side, I could tell she was my
type—tall, slim, milk chocolate hued skin, long hair. Clearing
my throat, I licked my lips as she finally turned to face me.
Damn.
She was pretty as hell.
Her eyes were tight and slanted. Deep dimples rested in
her cheeks as she smiled… and what a smile it was. It was
bright and white. She had pretty, straight teeth. Those lips and
that smile… a nigga was stuck off that alone.
As my eyes lowered down her frame, she casually closed
the oversized button-down shirt she was wearing over a tight-
fitting shirt. She had a little pudge, but I didn’t care about shit
like that. Whoever she was, she was beautiful, and a little
stomach wasn’t going to change that.
“Mayan?” she confirmed as I slowly walked over to her.
“Yeah. You are?”
Her smile widened as she pulled her hair behind her left
ear. It was long, mid-back length, and it was a pretty blend of
brown, gold, and black.
 “I’m Zuri, owner of Snapped. Um… I’ve been trying to
call you…”
Fuck.
She smelled good. Like cotton candy. Her lips were
moving, but all I could do was inhale her scent as I stepped
closer.
“I’m sorry, what did you say?”
Chuckling quietly, Zuri crossed her arms, lifting her
breasts and lowering my attention to her hardened nipples. The
black ribbed shirt was showing off every-damn-thing, and I
was loving it too.
“I said your date canceled for the evening. I was trying to
call and see if you wanted a refund before you arrived, but the
call kept going straight to voicemail.”
With a nod, I briefly looked around the photography
studio. In the front room, it looked like a basic receptionist
area. Only difference was, every wall had several pictures that
I assumed Zuri had taken. The lavender and blue walls and
décor gave a calming and comfortable vibe along with the soft
instrumental she had playing in the background.
“I have my phone set to automatically send numbers I
don’t know to voicemail,” I explained.
She nodded. “Oh, okay. Well. I’m really sorry about that. I
can do the refund now…” Zuri turned and went behind the
glass desk.
“Nah, I can just go on the date with you.” Her phone
slipped out of her hand at the sound of my words, but instead
of her saying anything she just looked at me with her mouth
partially open as her eyebrows bunched. “Unless you’re
married?”
Blinking rapidly, she slowly shook her head. “Married?”
Unable to hold back my smile, I nodded. Softening my
voice, I leaned against the desk. For some reason… I felt the
need to be closer.
 “Yeah. Are you married, Zuri?” Her head shook. “So can
you go on the date with me?”
“Are you sure you don’t want the refund?”
“I’m positive,” I replied with no hesitation. It didn’t matter
who had canceled—I wanted her as soon as I laid eyes on her.
If God was winking with the other woman canceling so I could
get to know Zuri’s pretty ass, I was not going to miss this
chance.
Her shoulders relaxed and she smiled softly before tugging
her bottom lip between her teeth. I hate she did that. They
were juicy as hell. Now I’d be wanting to do the same damn
thing just to see how she tasted.
“Okay,” she agreed. Her voice was light and airy. I liked
that shit. “Can you give me just a minute to set the booth up? I
was sure you’d want the refund, so I hadn’t bothered to set it
up.”
“Yeah, that’s cool. You need me to do anything?”
Zuri’s head shook as she rounded the desk then closed the
front door and locked it. “No. Have a seat. It won’t take long.”
Nodding, I watched as she walked away. In heels, the top
of her head came to my chin. She had on short shorts that
exposed her long legs. I couldn’t help but envision them
wrapped around my neck as I dug deep in her pussy.
Sitting down, I went to my call log to lock her number into
my contacts. I planned to pull out every charm I had to make
her want to see me again after this evening. As unsure of going
on a blind date as I was, I’d started to look forward to it as the
days went by. There was something about meeting someone
that was supposed to be a good partner for me, yet I knew
nothing about them, that was exciting.
Giselle and Tasia had already started blowing up the group
chat I had with them and Dru. I made sure to put my phone on
Do Not Disturb before getting on Facebook and looking for
Zuri’s profile. She didn’t have a personal one, only a like page
for her business. That was refreshing. I don’t know how much
time had passed because I’d gotten lost in her photos. She was
talented, that I couldn’t deny. As she made her way back
inside, I stood.
“Sorry about the wait, and about your date.”
“It’s cool. You’re pretty as hell, and you smell good.” I
didn’t realize how childish that sounded until the words left
my mouth. Zuri didn’t seem to mind, though. She blushed,
lowering her head as she cupped her hands in the center of
herself.
“Thank you, Mayan. You’re really handsome, and you
smell good too.”
Our eyes remained locked for a few seconds before she
inhaled a deep breath and used her hand to motion for me to
follow her outside.
I grinned at the sight of what used to be a food truck
parked outside. It was painted lavender and blue with the name
of her studio and tagline written in cursive across the side.
With the backdoors open, I could see into her setup. The shit
was cool and creative.
The center of the truck had a photo booth inside. With the
curtain pulled back, I was able to look inside. She had a small
table with candles, a charcuterie board, and wine on top. There
was an iPad mounted along with a small camera.
“So, the camera snaps pictures throughout the entire date.
Typically, dates last for one hour unless the couple requests
more time on the intake form. You chose the one-hour date,
which includes snacks, wine, and get to know you time.”
“Is it too late for us to add the dinner and movie option as
well?” Zuri nibbled her cheek as I closed the space between
us. “Or do you have someone coming in after me?”
“No, yours was my last date for the evening, so we can do
whatever you want.” Her eyes widened and head shook as she
lifted her hands. “Well not whatever you want because I don’t
know you, but yeah. We can watch a movie on the iPad, but
I’ll have to order dinner. I usually work with a personal chef
who caters it.”
 “That’s cool. You can leave dinner to me. I know this is
probably a lot for you to process so suddenly.”
“Yeah.” She chuckled and released a soft sigh. “No one’s
ever asked me to be their date if they were stood up.”
“They must have talked to you over the phone because I
can’t see too many men with good sense not taking the chance
to spend time with you.”
She was shy—they were usually the freakiest.
I couldn’t wait to find out.
“Get in,” she demanded quietly as she avoided my eyes
and smiled.
Doing as I was told, I made myself comfortable before
lighting the candles that were on the table as she stepped up
and closed the doors behind her. Sitting next to me, Zuri
stiffened her frame so her body wouldn’t brush against mine.
“Relax, Zuri. I’m not going to hurt you.”
“I know. I wouldn’t have agreed if I thought you would.”
I believed that. A part of the process before the date was
even confirmed was agreeing to a background check, which I
respected.
“Then why are you so stiff?”
Zuri huffed. “I designed the space to be small so the
couples would get close for an intimate experience. I just
wasn’t expecting one of those couples to include me.”
Sitting back on the bench, I turned slightly to look into her
eyes. “Hey, I don’t want to make you uncomfortable. If you
want me to leave…”
“No, it’s not that.” She smiled, and every time her cheeks
lifted her eyes almost closed. “I just haven’t gone on a date in
a really long time, that’s all.”
“Who makes dates for the matchmaker?”
Zuri chuckled. “Apparently you do.”
 There was a quiet click, signaling the first picture had been
taken. I couldn’t lie, I wanted to see it. We both were smiling
at each other looking goofy as hell.
As I poured us both a glass of Port, I asked, “I’m
curious… what did you see?”
“What do you mean?”
“On the blind date landing page, it said you have the gift of
seeing love for a couple before it’s felt. What did you see
when you looked at me?”
She took a small sip of her wine. “That only applies to
other couples, not a man looking at me.”
“Why not?”
She popped a grape into her mouth, drawing my attention
to those juicy ass lips again.
“I…” Her head shook and she cleared her throat. “Even
though I’m a hopeless romantic, I’m not in the market for love
anymore. I think that’s why I love fixing people up so much. It
allows me to get my fill of love without having to be
disappointed by it ending.”
There was something there. Some pain that was holding
her heart hostage. I didn’t know if I wanted to spend the
evening unpacking that or not, but I did know I wouldn’t have
a chance with her if I didn’t.
“I’m a hopeless romantic too, but I don’t think I could give
up on it. Maybe if I had been blessed to experience love in the
past I could, but I’m not stopping until I get it.”
“I’m surprised you’re single to begin with. Honestly, I’ve
read so many profiles I can’t remember everything from yours,
but your name stuck out to me. I remember thinking, damn,
how in the hell is he not taken.”
“That’s a story for another day,” was all I cared to say. I
didn’t want to waste time talking about failed relationships,
but it also didn’t seem like we would be able to build a new
one either. “So you’re not dating at all?” I confirmed.
 Her head shook as sadness covered her beautiful face. “No.
Do you want a refund now?”
I couldn’t help but chuckle. Though she was trying, it was
also clear she was expecting me to change my mind about
wanting to spend the evening with her. It was cute, but it also
made me feel like she was afraid of rejection which was
understandable.
“Zuri,” I called, pausing and making sure she was
listening. Taking her hands into mine, I softened my voice
when I told her, “I want to be here with you. Even if it doesn’t
lead to anything more. Aight?”
“Okay,” she almost whispered.
This time, it finally registered. She released a quiet sniggle
and relaxed her body, resting it against mine.
“Is it okay if I take a picture of your setup?” I confirmed
before pulling my phone out of my pocket.
“Absolutely. And if you share it on social media, use
hashtag Snapped blind date.”
“I got you,” I agreed before taking several pictures,
including one of her.
Though she bashfully and softly pushed my hand down,
she didn’t ask me to delete it.
“Don’t tell me you don’t like to have your picture taken.”
“I do. I just don’t want your fans coming for my head if
they see me on your page.”
That got a genuine chuckle out of me as I put my phone
back in my pocket. “I’m past that phase of my career. No
crazy exes checking for me. No baby mama drama. None of
that.” I paused before adding, “If anything, you’ll have to deal
with my mama and her sisters trying to have a whole
conversation with you in the comments section or a few
bloggers but that’s it.”
“That’s refreshing.”
 Nodding, I stretched my legs out a bit more under the table
to get comfortable before asking her to tell me about herself.
She was new to the town, thirty, and the oldest of two
daughters. Both of her parents were still alive and married.
I shared with her that I was a year older than her and the
middle sibling of three.
We talked about our likes and dislikes, hobbies, and
interests along with a few more facts. When the subject of
marriage and babies came up, her energy shifted. I wondered if
that was why she said she wasn’t looking for love anymore. If
it was, I needed to know what the deal was. While her having
emotional baggage wouldn’t deter me from pursuing her, I
needed to know if it was something I was willing to help her
carry and let go of.
“I take it you can’t say the same?” I clarified, referring to
the fact that I’d told her I’d never been married before and had
no children but wanted that to change soon.
Scrubbing a hand over her face, Zuri released a heavy sigh.
“No.” Her head shook as she defensively wrapped her
arms around herself. I had to keep myself from unwrapping
her arms and holding her. “I don’t have any children, but I
have been married before.”
“You wanna talk about it?” I asked as softly and
nonthreateningly as I could. “You’ll always have a safe space
in me, Zuri.” Her arms tightened. “I know we just met, but you
can trust me to hold whatever you need to release.”
Zuri released a shaky breath and grabbed her wine glass.
After taking three long gulps, she wiped her mouth and looked
down at her hands, open palmed in her lap.
“Okay.” Her eyes met mine before she licked her lips and
looked away briefly. “I got married right after high school to
my best friend. We were married all throughout college. I was
on birth control because we agreed not to start our family until
we were out of school and established in our careers. We’d
already gotten married super young, so we didn’t want a baby
keeping us from moving around the way we wanted or needed
to.”
She squeezed the back of her neck before continuing.
“Right after we graduated college, Eric landed a multi six
figure position, so he basically told me I could chill on work or
start my own business since he was going to be financially
stable enough to take care of everything. We also discussed me
getting off birth control and letting things happen naturally.”
Zuri paused and scratched her eyebrow. “A year passed,
and I didn’t get pregnant, so I went to the doctor and found out
I had fibroids. My gynecologist severely downplayed it and
told me it was no big deal, they weren’t cancerous, and I could
still get pregnant without having them removed, but at that
point, Eric had kind of gotten over it. I guess he’d been
waiting for so long that the excitement had worn off, so he
didn’t even want children anymore.”
Her expression had gone blank, and I knew she was no
longer with me. She was back in that moment. “He decided he
didn’t want kids and said me not being able to have any was a
blessing in disguise.” Zuri scoffed and shook her head before
it hung. “We divorced. Even though I couldn’t have kids then I
knew I wanted them, and I didn’t want to be married to a man
who didn’t. Plus, I was embarrassed and… I felt broken. Like
I’d failed him and wasted his time somehow.”
“I’m sorry to hear that. Sorry that you weren’t able to
conceive, not sorry that your marriage ended. If it hadn’t, I
wouldn’t be sitting here with you.”
She smiled a small smile. “I don’t want to make it seem
like he was a bad guy because of that, he wasn’t. We were
young and our values and priorities changed. It happens.
While I wished he would have been more patient, I
understood. It wasn’t just my marriage ending that made me
give up on love though.”
“That was just the foundation?” I confirmed. “A very bad
foundation, but a foundation?”
Her head bobbed softly, and the left side of her mouth
lifted into a bitter smile. “Exactly.”
 “What else was built upon that? What else made you
change your mind?”
“The men I dealt with for the past seven years damn near.
It’s been one toxic experience after the next.”
“Are you comfortable sharing what it’s been like for you? I
can’t deny that I’m curious about what would make someone
completely close their heart to love yet work so diligently to
help God provide it to others.” She blushed softly, nibbling her
bottom lip. “You fascinate me. I know I’m asking for a lot,
but… I just want to know you.” Pausing, I shook my head and
quickly corrected myself. “Not you because those experiences
don’t make or break you, but I’d like to know about what
made you change your mind.”
Zuri was silent for a while, and I was hoping she wouldn’t
ask me why. Beyond what I’d told her, I couldn’t tell her more.
When I walked in here, it wasn’t with the intent of asking her
twenty questions about herself, but I couldn’t stop myself. I
wanted to know who had wronged her—and why—so I could
ensure it never happened again.
“I’m okay talking about it. I actually prefer getting it out in
the open now, since it is why I don’t date.” I nodded, wanting
her to continue without me responding. “The guy I dated after
Eric, Kevin, was probably the worst for me. He already had
children and a lot of baby mama drama. It was a toxic
relationship, but I loved him. Our good days were great, and
they outweighed the bad ones in the beginning. My fibroids
started getting bigger, which created more problems for me
personally. I gained a lot of weight in my stomach, arms, and
chin. I started getting horrible acne. My periods were heavy as
hell, to the point where I’d literally be paralyzed with pain for
seven to ten days straight. Then I started having ruptured
ovarian cysts, and the doctor at the ER basically told me I’d
have an extremely hard time getting pregnant.” She sighed
before sucking her teeth. “Until that point, Kevin didn’t know
about my fibroids. I felt like it wasn’t something he needed to
know until we were discussing marriage and children, but the
last time I had a rupture, the pain was so bad he had to take
me, and he didn’t want to leave my side. So after the doctor
said that, we talked about my inability to conceive and how I’d
have to get the fibroids removed before I could have children,
but it didn’t exactly work that way.”
“What happened?”
Her eyes left mine. “He ended up cheating with one of his
baby mama’s and she got pregnant. He was upset that I didn’t
tell him immediately. I knew he had children and wanted
more, and even though we weren’t engaged, he planned to
propose soon and assumed I could have babies. So that anger
was his excuse for going to her and cheating.” The chuckle
Zuri released wasn’t one of humor as her head shook. “To
Kevin, that was supposed to be a solution. He could just…
continue to have kids with her but be with me. Like I didn’t
want kids of my own.”
“And you told his ass that shit right?”
“Of course!” She huffed. “Not immediately. I was super
insecure at that point. Between the physical changes and
loving him, I did consider staying with him. I suffered
mentally considering being with a man that had a baby on me.
So we broke up, which was fine. I…” Her head shook. “I
realized that was a low I no longer wanted to be in. I took
another pause in dating, then met Iman.” Her eyes rolled as
she sat up and refilled her wine glass. “He said he didn’t want
marriage and children, and things were cool in the beginning.
For like the first year. We started having unprotected sex,
almost daily, and I don’t know. It just felt like he was using me
as his cum bucket. I started to feel like he didn’t really value
me or respect me. I didn’t feel like his partner… just like… an
obsession.” Her forehead creased before she massaged it. “It
wasn’t like that in the beginning,” she repeated, and I didn’t
know if she was trying to convince me or herself. “We actually
dated and had a good time. Eventually he stopped putting forth
the effort and made it all about sex. So we broke up, and I
moved here, then found out he had a baby on the way and was
engaged.”
“While y’all were together or when you moved?”
 “After I moved. Like… immediately after. Apparently, he
was talking to her while we were together, which was why he
stopped putting forth the effort. They moved super-fast, or he
was fucking her at the same time as me. I’ve been here six
months and she’s five months pregnant.”
“Damn.”
“Yeah. So… I just gave up after that. My marriage died
because I couldn’t have kids, Kevin cheated because I couldn’t
have kids, and Iman didn’t value me because I couldn’t have
kids. I’m tired of feeling like less of a woman because I can’t
have kids.”
Her voice raised with those last four words. I couldn’t
imagine the anger and hurt she felt. The disappointment. Her
body stiffened and nostrils flared, and I felt a physical pull to
try and make her feel better.
I took her hand into mine and kissed it. Though I knew
what I wanted to say, I didn’t reply right away. I wanted to
give her time to process the story she’d obviously been telling
herself for years before I tried to rewrite it. After a minute or
so, I said…
“Your marriage didn’t end because you can’t have kids;
your marriage ended because the two of you were no longer on
the same page.” Her mouth opened, but I continued before she
could speak. “Kevin didn’t cheat because you couldn’t have
kids; he cheated because he’s a dumbass who had no discipline
and placed the blame on you. And Iman… he just wanted
something different with you than he wanted with her.
Different people bring out different versions of ourselves. You
weren’t the first woman he’d dated I’m sure, so you weren’t
the first woman he didn’t want something serious with. You
were the last, but that wasn’t a reflection of your worth—it
was a reflection of his value of you, and you had absolutely
nothing to do with that. Sometimes, it doesn’t matter what we
say or do, what we bring to the table, how attractive we are or
how good our sex is… if we’re not for a person we just aren’t
for a person. And if you were really honest with yourself, I
know you would see the truth that Iman wasn’t a good match
for you.”
 By the time I was done, tears were steadily rolling down
her cheeks. Sniffling, Zuri nodded as she exhaled a long
breath.
“Thank you, Mayan,” she spoke softly, wrapping her arms
around my neck and pulling me in for a hug. “You’re right. I
guess… somewhere down the line it became less about them
and more about what I wanted to give them to convince myself
I was whole. A normal woman. But you’re right.”
My body instantly relaxed against hers, making room for
me to hold her tighter. Closer. As I inhaled her scent, I gently
brushed my nose against her neck. She shivered as she
released me, but our bodies… our faces… remained inches
apart. I took my time wiping her tears away, hoping they’d
cleansed a piece of her soul.
“I don’t want you to let them niggas ruin love for you. You
deserve to be loved, Zuri, just as you are.”
Sighing, she removed herself from my embrace. “I’m tired,
Mayan.”
“I hear you, I promise I do. And I’ll never downplay what
you went through, but that was three fish in a sea of millions. I
promise you there’s a man out there that…”
Her head shook adamantly as she turned and cut the iPad
on.
“No, I’m done,” she interrupted. “I’ve spent the past six
months detoxing my body and my soul, working on my skin,
and shrinking my fibroids naturally. They are still there, but
not nearly as big as they used to be. I’m staying single, Mayan.
I’m not letting a man come in and make me insecure again. It’s
taken too much work to regain my confidence. It’s not all the
way back, but it’s a hell of a lot better than it was. I’m not
letting anyone ruin that. Make me feel damaged again. I
couldn’t take it.”
As she sniffled and breathed deeply, I saw each brick that
returned around her heart. That was cool. She said she wasn’t
going to let another man ruin her, and I could respect that. Zuri
didn’t say she wasn’t going to let another man rebuild her
heart. That’s exactly what I planned to do…
 Chapter Five

Z uri
“O KAY , that was fucking bullshit, Zuri, and you know it.”
I was doubled over in laughter while Mayan wiped his
face. Since he’d made me cry during our talk, I wanted to
make him cry during the movie. I couldn’t choose between
The Notebook and Me Before You, so I made him watch both.
His big ass shed a few tears after both movies, but I think Me
Before You hurt him worst. Just like me, he wasn’t expecting
the ending. It took you high and gave you hope just to bring
you all the way back down.
“What?”
The innocence of my voice and expression didn’t keep him
from saying, “Why the hell you make me watch that shit?”
“You said it wasn’t going to make you cry!”
“Well obviously I was wrong! Got my eyes misty and
shit.” He stood, shoving me forward slightly in the process.
“Move so I can get outta here.”
I tried to hold my laugh in as he wiped his eyes, but I
couldn’t keep the cackle in that fought to break free. After
cutting off the iPad and clearing the table, I cut the music off
and blew the candles out then found Mayan standing by the
back door of my studio.
 Listen, I was not expecting him to ask me to be his date for
the evening. Not only was he the perfect package but he had a
softness about the way he handled me that I’d never
experienced from a man except my father. Mayan, this big bad
playboy of a basketball player was so gentle with me and my
heart. I think that’s why it was so easy for me to open up to
him. No matter how gentle he was, though, there wasn’t
anything he could say to make me change my mind about
love. I was just glad my mini breakdown didn’t ruin the vibe.
My smile was sweet as I walked over to him. Even with
the frown on his face, he still looked good as hell. He was
taller than me, but not as tall as I would expect a basketball
player to be. With my heels on, it wasn’t uncomfortable
looking up at him. His frame was wide and chiseled. I had to
repeatedly keep myself from squeezing the muscles on his
arms and running my hands down his solid chest and abs. I
couldn’t see the full make-up of them, but he did have tattoos
on his lower neck and the tops of his arms, which always gave
a man a more rugged, sexy appeal. His skin was the same
medium brown shade as mine, and I loved me a brown
skinned man.
“Are you mad at me?”
My head tilted as I looked up at him. Batting my lashes, I
cupped my hands in front of me as he slowly eyed my body.
The only complaint I had about my body was my stomach. It
was as small as it could be because of the fibroids, but they
caused it to poke out at the bottom. I could literally feel their
hardness. Until I got them removed, I’d have my gut, which
was why I often wore an oversized shirt or jacket. It didn’t
matter how much I worked out and toned my stomach, that
round lump remained. The first time his eyes took in every
inch of me I felt too vulnerable and closed my shirt. This time,
knowing he knew… that he’d been exposed to the deepest
flaw within me, I didn’t feel the need to hide it.
“Yes, but I’ll get over it if you let me see you again.”
There was a playfulness in his dark, lazy eyes that I
couldn’t ignore, but I was definitely going to try and resist it.
 “Mayan… I told you I’m not dating,” I reminded quietly,
to which he used the hem of my shirt to pull me closer.
Instinctively, my hands rested on his chest, and it was just
as solid as it looked.
Mayan licked his lips, making me jealous. I wanted to do
that. They were medium sized, slightly darker than his skin,
and they looked soft as hell. He scratched his nappy, tapered
’fro before running his hand down his thick beard.
“I didn’t think that rule pertained to me.”
Chuckling, I shook my head. “Why not?”
His eyes lowered as he studied my face. When he tugged
his bottom lip between his teeth, I held my breath. God. I
wanted him to kiss me. Worse, I wanted to kiss him—every
part of him. From the small hoop in his nose to every one of
his fingers and toes. I wanted to devour him. Make his body
weaken and cover with chills the way his words had done to
me earlier.
“I want to show you something different.”
My eyes rolled and I tried to step back but he held me
closer. “Mayan…”
“If you’re not ready to give me a chance, I’ll accept that.
For now.” He placed a wet, juicy kiss to the center of my
forehead. “But don’t take my patience for acceptance of this
arrangement.” He kissed my nose, and my eyes fluttered then
closed. “I will pursue you.” Then my left cheek. “And get
you.” And the right. “Because I want you.” The corner of my
mouth. “And you not being able to have children won’t change
that.”
“Mayan…”
“Do you need to go back inside for anything, Zuri?”
A few seconds passed before I replied. Shaking my head, I
muttered, “No.”
“Cool. Let me walk you to your car so I can go.”
 At this point, I didn’t see any point in going back and forth
with him, so we walked around the building to get to the front.
If he wanted to waste his time trying to date me, that was on
him. Not being able to have kids had shown me a side of men
that tainted me. And even if Mayan said he didn’t care, I knew
one day… we’d get too close, and he’d want something that I
can’t give.
If I did date in the future, it would be years from now with
men that genuinely didn’t want kids. Hell, maybe only those
that had vasectomies.
Truthfully, I’d been thinking about having the surgery if I
couldn’t naturally shrink my fibroids, but even with that, an
infection from a ruptured cyst scarred my fallopian tube, and I
wasn’t sure I’d be able to conceive and carry full term. I
hardly ever ovulated, and quite frankly, it was just easier to tell
myself I didn’t want something to avoid the disappointment of
wanting it and not being able to have it.
If I was to get the surgery and still not be able to conceive,
I’d be crushed… especially if I was married again to a man
who wanted children. And yes, we could use a surrogate or
even adopt, but I wasn’t sure I would feel as invested taking
one of those routes. If I was to have a baby, I would want to
actually have a baby. I would want to experience it all—even
the bad parts. Maybe that was silly of me, but that was my
desire.
“This was nice,” Mayan complimented as I unlocked my
door.
“It was. I’m glad you didn’t answer and cancel.”
He mirrored my smile as he opened the door to my black
Jeep.
“The next date is on me.” My lips parted, but he silenced
me by placing his finger against them. “Please let me know
when you’ve made it home safely, Zuri. Goodnight.”
“I can see now you’re going to be a handful,” I decided,
getting into my Jeep.
 “I don’t care how you see me… long as you plan to see
me.”
He closed the door, not giving me a chance to reply. All I
could do was chuckle and shake my head. No matter how I
tried to drop it, a grin remained on my face for the entire ride
home.
 Chapter Six

M ayan
T HREE DAYS after my blind date with Zuri, she emailed me the
pictures that had been taken. They were all great, and like I
expected, each one showed just how deep our conversations
flowed. How in tune with one another we were. How attracted
to her I was.
Instead of replying to her email, I decided to stop by her
studio and hope she was there to speak face to face. Even
though I’d been thinking about her and wanting to talk to her,
I’d purposely resisted the urge to call. She needed time to
work through the evening and decide if she was willing to
open up and give me a chance, and I didn’t want to say or do
anything to sway her decision. Me telling her we would date
was one thing; her actually allowing me to pursue her was
something altogether different.
I had to admit I enjoyed a good chase. Back in my college
and NBA days, I really didn’t have to work for pussy at all.
Women threw it at me even if I didn’t express interest in them.
Zuri was the first woman in my adult life that didn’t
immediately agree to making shit easy for me—and I liked
that. No matter how much I enjoyed the challenge, there was
no doubt in my mind that I would value her when I did get her.
My desire for her wouldn’t fade just because I won her. That
was some immature shit.
 Right now, my main priority was still finding a date for the
trip, but beyond that… I was looking for my wife. I
understood Zuri’s hesitance because of her situation, but there
were ways to work around that. Admittedly, I didn’t know
much about fibroids before meeting her, however, I’d been
doing a lot of research. There were a lot of options that could
help Zuri conceive if she was willing to give them a chance,
and even if she couldn’t, that was a battle for another day.
Zuri was a great contender to be my wife. We had a lot of
the same values and priorities, we had a lot in common, but
most of all… I felt an innate pull toward her. One that made
me want to have her, no matter what it took. And not just have
her but protect her at all costs. Just that one night had me
feeling responsible for her and her heart. I didn’t want to let
anyone else break it.
Once I made it to her studio, I checked my appearance in
the visor of my Range before hopping out and heading inside.
The door was unlocked and music was playing, but she wasn’t
up by the front desk.
“Just a second!” she yelled from the back.
Just the sound of her light, airy voice made me smile.
Made my heart palpitate.
I couldn’t wait to smell her sweet scent.
Or look over her smooth milk chocolate brown skin.
Deciding against replying, I waited quietly so she’d be
surprised when she saw me. Only a few seconds passed before
she was hurrying up, wiping the corners of her mouth with a
paper towel. Unlike the other evening, her face wasn’t covered
in makeup, giving me the chance to take in her natural beauty.
I remembered her mentioning having skin issues because of
her fibroids, but it looked like she had it under control now. It
was acne free, and I couldn’t help but grin as I took her in.
“Hey,” she greeted softly, surprising me by opening her
arms for an embrace.
Without her heels, she was an additional four or five
inches shorter, but I didn’t mind.
 “Good afternoon, beautiful. Am I interrupting your
lunch?”
“Yeah, but it’s fine,” she replied as we released each other.
“Come on back.”
Nodding, I followed behind… wishing the coral colored
maxi dress she had on wasn’t so oversized. I was looking
forward to eyeing every inch of her slim frame, but it was
cool. She was still beautiful in the dress. Most importantly, she
looked comfortable. For me, comfort and confidence were two
things that made women beautiful. I loved a woman, no matter
the size, that was comfortable in her own skin.
“How’s your day going?” I asked, following her into what
appeared to be her office.
For the most part, it was bare. She had a small dark brown
desk in the corner with an iMac desktop on it, but everything
else was a chill vibe—small sofa, bean bags, and of course
several cameras with accompanying equipment.
“Good, you?”
“Good. I got the pictures,” I informed, sitting down.
“I love them. Didn’t they turn out great?”
“Yeah, they did.” As I watched her return to her seat at the
desk, the peanut butter and jelly sandwich she was eating
caught my attention. “I’d love to take you out for lunch,” I
offered.
Her smile was soft as her head shook. “It’s fine. I actually
love peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. If I could, I’d eat
them for every meal.”
“How old are you? Three?”
Her eyes rolled playfully as she chuckled. “Whatever,
Mayan. Don’t tell me you’re one of those people that think
adults shouldn’t eat PB&J’s or sugary cereal?”
“Nah. I’ll eat a bowl of Fruity Pebbles in a minute.”
Zuri giggled as she wiped her hands. “I hate to eat in front
of you if you’re not eating, but I had to skip breakfast for an
early morning shoot.”
“It’s cool. I won’t hold you. I’m sure you value your lunch
breaks, especially if you have a lot to do today. I just wanted to
see you and let you know in person that the pictures look
really good.”
“My other shoots are for this evening. I do have to go live
with Skyler in a few minutes though. She’s going to do the
raffle on her page and announce the getaway winners from the
last group of blind dates.”
“Getaway winners?” I asked with uncertainty.
“Yeah, you didn’t read all of the welcome email, did you?”
I shook my head. “Well, everyone who signed up within the
first seventy-two hours were automatically entered into a four-
day all-inclusive getaway in Florida. They’ll go with whoever
their blind date was.”
“That’s what’s up. Very creative way to bring in
participants.”
“I know, right? That’s the same thing we said when we
came up with the idea.” Instead of eating the last few bites of
her sandwich, she stood and sat next to me on the yellow sofa.
She got comfortable, resting against the brown and gold
pillows as she pulled one of her legs under her. “Skyler’s my
best friend back in Memphis. I’m trying to get her to move
here. She has her own travel agency business, so we figured
that would be a great way to put people on to her business as
well.”
“Most definitely. I’ll have to tell my brother about her.
They are putting together a trip for their wedding party instead
of the traditional bachelor and bachelorette parties.” I paused,
remembering that she’d met with Tasia. “Actually, you met
with his fiancée. She wanted to see about you being their
photographer. Her name is Tasia Washington.”
Zuri’s head cocked to the side in thought. When she
remembered who I was talking about, she nodded and smiled.
“Oh yes! I did meet with her. She’s going to be such a
beautiful bride, and she’s super sweet. I can’t wait to
photograph their events.”
“Yeah, she’s the reason I even knew about the blind date.”
Zuri’s smile spread as she leaned forward slightly. “Well…
I’m glad. So you’ll be okay with me being on the trip? I won’t
be a part of the festivities, but I will be there taking photos and
videos. That won’t make you uncomfortable with your date
will it?”
Chuckling, I shook my head. Taking her hand into mine, I
tilted my head as I stared into her eyes, trying to see if she was
really so naïve or trying to use this moment to see where my
head was at.
“I was hoping you would be my date, Zuri.”
Her eyes widened slightly before she grinned.
“Oh. I-I didn’t…”
“I meant it when I said I wanted you. I can’t make plans to
take a trip with another woman if I intend on pursuing you.”
She smiled, showing off those dimples. Zuri licked her
lips, but before she could reply, an alarm on her phone was
going off.
“Shit. I have to log in for the raffle. You mind sticking
around so we can finish this conversation?”
“Not at all. Take care of your business.”
When Zuri stood and walked back over to her desk, I
pulled my phone out to text Dru. I wasn’t sure who they were
using to put such a large trip together, if anyone, but it
wouldn’t hurt for them to look into Zuri’s friend. Since I didn’t
have all the details yet, I just asked if he was working with an
agent until after Zuri was done and could give me more
information. After that, I wasted a little time scrolling the
internet and social media. I wasn’t trying to be all in Zuri’s
business, but when she squealed and called my name, I gave
her my attention.
“You won!” she yelled, hopping up and down.
“Won what?” I asked, standing. “The getaway?”
 “Yes!” Zuri clapped before releasing an excited laugh.
“Congratulations, Mayan!”
“Thanks,” I muttered, unsure how to really respond. I
loved traveling, and I double loved staying somewhere I
would be served, but I didn’t want it to look like me winning
was a setup. Not only was she my date, but I was here in her
studio while the winner was announced. “Are you sure it’s
okay that I won?” I asked walking over to her. “I don’t want
them to think this was a setup.”
Skylar answered me. “No, it’s fine. They saw me write all
the names down and put them in the bowl, plus I had my sister
to pull. So, you’re fine. Congratulations!”
“Thank you,” I replied, a bit more appreciative this time.
“Are you excited?” Zuri asked, taking my hands into hers.
“Excited about spending four days alone with you? Hell
yeah.”
Zuri nibbled her bottom lip, and she hesitantly pulled her
hands from mine. Leaning down and into the camera, she said,
“Sky, I’ll send you his email so you can give him the details,
okay?”
“Okay, Zuri.”
Once she ended the chat, Zuri turned to face me. “Mayan,
you don’t have to take me. I was a stand-in. You can literally
take anyone that you want.”
My head bobbed once. “Good to know.” I took her hand
into mine. “I want to take you.” Her mouth opened, and I
knew her well enough by now to know she was going to ask if
I was sure or say something to make me change my mind. “I
say what I mean, Zuri. I’m not changing my mind.”
Her body relaxed as she exhaled in relief.
“Okay. I hear you.”
“Do you want to go or not? If you don’t that’s fine, but I
want you to understand I want you to come with me.”
 “Thank you for the clarity. I know I have a bad habit of
projecting my mistrust of what men say…”
“It’s cool,” I clarified quickly. “We’ll fix that.”
As I pulled her into my arms, her smile turned into a pout
as her eyes watered.
“I want to know where you came from, but I’m so scared
asking questions will cause me to wake up and realize meeting
you was all a dream.”
“What I feel for you is very real. I know it might feel like
things are moving fast, but I don’t believe in time when it
comes to love. I’m just… allowing my actions to express how
I feel.”
My parents were the perfect example of not just falling in
love quickly but growing into an even deeper love with time.
Yeah, they had their issues over the years, but they were
always partners against the problem. I might have given up a
little hope about finding true love, but they always were my
motivation and strengthened my faith.
Our eyes remained locked for a while before she said,
“You looking at me like you want to give me a real kiss
today.”
I laughed, lowering my hands to her ass. “I wanted to kiss
you that night, but I was trying to be a gentleman.”
To be honest, I wanted to kiss every set of her lips.
“Are you going to be a gentleman on our trip?”
“I’m going to be whatever the hell you want me to be,
Zuri. Just let me know.”
The quiet sound that escaped her was one I was unfamiliar
with. It wasn’t quite a moan, but whatever it was, the shit
made my dick get hard. Before Zuri could answer, her phone
was vibrating on top of the table. Releasing her, I stepped back
and tried to adjust myself so I’d stop growing.
Groaning, Zuri answered the phone with, “Sky?” Her eyes
rolled. “No, I can’t talk yet. I’m still with him.” Grinning, she
looked back at me shyly. “Yes… but I really can’t…”
 “I’ll call you later,” I said, heading out of her office so she
could have her girl talk.
At this point, I’d gotten way more than I’d come for… and
that was more than enough for me.
 Chapter Seven

Z uri
D AY 1

B EFORE OUR FLIGHT , Mayan and I met up for breakfast. I told

him I was cool with cereal, but he insisted on us having a full
meal. We exchanged STD tests and talked about our sexual
history. I wasn’t sure what it was about him that made it so
easy for me to be open with him, but I was. We talked about
how my fibroids made sex more painful than it had been in the
past. It didn’t help that men hardly ever wanted to eat the
pussy for more than a few minutes. Then after that, they’d
want to go to pound town fucking me all fast and hard and
shit. I liked rough sex, but after I was fully aroused, which
took some time unless I was really drunk. I shared with Mayan
that I hated doggy style and he swore the right man would
change that. Admittedly, I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t excited
about things getting physical between us. It had been quite a
while since I’d been in a relationship and had sex, and I was
craving the hardness of a man’s body against mine.
On the flight, we talked a lot to keep me distracted. I didn’t
travel a lot and when I did, I liked to drive. Mayan was the
opposite. He loved to fly and travel. After checking in, we
were led to our bungalow, and I was honestly more excited
about taking a nap then chilling at the pool more than anything
else. The pictures of Bungalows at Key Largo that I saw did
the resort no justice. It was three times as beautiful as I
thought it would be!
We were in a waterfront bungalow, but before I could even
tour the place, I was caught off guard by the extras Mayan
called and had added. There were chocolate covered
strawberries, roses, a cheese board, and a bottle of Dom
Perignon waiting for us. Gasping, I covered my face but
dropped my hands and smiled when he pressed the front of his
body into the back of me. Wrapping his arms around me, I told
him, “Mayan, you didn’t have to do this.”
“I wanted to. I want to make this week special for you. For
us.”
Turning in his arms, I found myself captivated by the
sincerity in his eyes.
“I want us to enjoy ourselves, but I also don’t want to set
you up for failure.”
My father instilled a lot of principles in us when it came to
handling men and how they would try and handle us. One
thing he stressed was that men didn’t like to feel like they
were a failure at loving a woman. If they did, that was often
when they’d leave or cheat. I didn’t listen, but after divorcing
my husband and the situation with Kevin I realized that was
true. I didn’t want Mayan to be another man to feel like he’d
failed by loving me and being unable to give me the things I
wanted and needed. And I couldn’t stomach watching
disappointment turn a man’s love for me into resentment
again.
Even though Kevin’s baby mamas brought the drama, I
genuinely feel like we would be married with kids by now if it
were possible. The way he looked at me changed when he
found out about my situation. A part of me chose not to tell
him immediately because I knew how important children were
to him, however, I definitely didn’t expect him to go to his ex
to talk about me and end up fucking her afterwards.
“How would I set myself up for failure, Zuri?”
 “I don’t want us to set a standard with each other this week
that we can’t take back home.” My hands slid down his arms
and settled on his wrists as he gripped my waist. “What if we
get attached and decide we want to be together? I’ve never
dated casually. It’s always been with the intent of marriage.”
“I’ve made it clear that I want marriage too, so I’m not
understanding the problem.”
“You did, but you also made it clear that you want children
as well. I just… feel like you see me as this broken woman
that needs to be fixed.”
He smiled softly before licking his lips. “I don’t think you
need to be fixed; I think you need to be loved… even if just
for the week.”
Scratching my hair through the ball on top of my head, I
tried not to grin so fucking hard as he continued with, “Can we
make a deal?”
“What would it consist of?”
Releasing me, Mayan stepped around and opened the
champagne. “Don’t look too much into the future. Just enjoy
this week and let it be whatever it’s going to be.” He poured us
both a glass then handed me mine. “If we decide to commit,
we can discuss our options then. There’s no point in being
anxious over something that may or may not lead to something
more.”
“That’s fair.”
Before I could lift my glass to my mouth, Mayan was
clasping my wrist. “With that being said, if we do decide to be
together, I want you to know I’m willing to do whatever it
takes to make sure you’re content in your role as my woman.
I’ll pay for the surgery to have the fibroids removed. We’ll get
you in front of as many doctors as it takes to ensure you can
not only conceive our babies but carry and birth them without
either of you losing your life. And even if you can’t, I’m
willing to compromise however I need to, to have you.”
Compromise.
Wow.
 Until this point, that had never been an option for me.
I was so sick of men not giving the acceptance and
protection I felt I deserved I was unwilling to compromise.
But here… in this moment with Mayan… compromise
didn’t sound like such a bad thing. So what if I couldn’t
physically carry our child? As long as it would be ours, that
was all that would matter.
I tried to lower my head so he wouldn’t see my watery
eyes, but he lifted my head by my chin.
“I don’t want you for your womb, Zuri. I’m trying to get
your heart.”
“Mayan,” I whispered through trembling lips.
“I want access to your soul.”
My eyes fluttered as he wrapped his arm around me and
pulled me close. “Baby, I-it’s too much.”
“Only because you’re used to not getting enough.”
Clenching my jaw, I wrapped my free arm around him and
rested my head against his chest. He placed a kiss to the top of
my head that made my heart skip a beat. “Let me change that.”
Sniffling, I released a shaky breath, not opening my eyes
until I was sure I wouldn’t cry. “Okay,” I agreed, lifting my
head to look into his eyes. “That’s a heavy burden for you to
take on, but if you’re willing, I would love for you to change
that, Mayan.”
His eyes smiled but his mouth didn’t. They were too busy
parting and slowly descending to cover mine. I’d been
wondering how his lips would feel since the night we met. If
they’d be as soft as they looked. They were. Each tender peck
he laced me with had me softening against him more. The
moment Mayan spread my lips and snaked his tongue inside
my mouth I sighed. Literally sighed. In relief. Unsure how I’d
lived without him satisfying this need.
I could tell he was trying to restrain himself. The slow,
tender kisses didn’t match the yearning in the movement of his
hand. How it moved from one part of my body and squeezed
another. Releasing a shaky breath, Mayan pulled away.
“Whew,” I muttered before gulping my champagne.
Mayan’s eyes bore into me as he did the same. “You know
you mine now, right?”
I wanted to confirm that he meant just for the week but
fuck it.
Let’s see where this thing goes…

As I looked out into the ocean from our outside shower

room, I decided I never wanted to go home. The resort was
absolutely beautiful, and being here with Mayan only
intensified that beauty. After we woke up from our nap, we
had dinner at Fish Tales and spent the rest of the evening at the
pool. I was impressed with how intentional Mayan had been
with this trip. He hadn’t just left it at the bare minimum of us
being at the resort, but he’d called and booked several
activities for us over the next week that were coming out of his
pocket. Tonight, however, we both agreed that we wanted to
just chill.
Since he was showering in the bungalow, I decided to
come out to the veranda and get into the soaking tub. As I
looked out into the setting sun and sipped my wine, I was in
heaven. The door slid open and Mayan stepped out in nothing
but a towel. My mouth parted and watered at the sight of him.
And that six pack. And those tattoos.
 Jesus.
Mayan was fine as hell.
I loved his rugged look. From his nappy hair and beard to
his wide, tall frame and woody scent.
“How much longer are you going to be?” he checked.
“Until the water cools, why?”
“You wanna go to one of the bars for a few drinks?”
“Yeah, that’s cool.”
“Aight.”
I thought he was going to go back inside, but Mayan sat on
the white bench a few feet away. Chuckling, I sank further into
the tub. He could stay for now, but when I was ready to get
out, his ass would have to go. We were making progress, but
there were still a few things I needed to work on. Being
completely naked in front of a man was one. I loved every part
of my body except my damn stomach. Until I got that flat like
I wanted, I would probably always hide that shit.
As I soaked and he sat, we talked. About our goals and
pleasures… what we liked and disliked. Our hobbies and
favorites. I was surprised to hear that he knew and liked Bruno
Major. Currently, I was obsessed with him. We talked about
our needs, wants, and love languages too. Personally, I
believed we had two love languages–one that stemmed from
our childhood and one that we learned from relationships as
adults.
His love languages were quality time and physical touch.
Mine were physical touch and words of affirmation. Made
sense. We always seemed to gravitate toward one another.
Once my water was cold, I was ready to get out and grab a few
drinks. We’d already established our drinking limits and how
we reacted when we were tipsy or drunk. I was a happy horny
drunk and he was the same. I imagined we were going to be
having a lot of sex this week, but so far, that hadn’t been a
forced priority.
 “Can you hand me that towel?” I asked, letting the water
out.
Mayan looked down at the towel folded next to him then
smiled.
“How were you going to get it if I wasn’t sitting out here?”
“I was going to get up and get it, duh.”
“So do that now.”
Chuckling, I shook my head. “You’re trying to look at my
body.”
“I am.”
Him not trying to deny it made me laugh harder. “Give me
my towel, Mayan. I’m not comfortable showing my body
without a covering.”
Sucking his teeth, Mayan grabbed the towel and stood. “I
will always honor your boundaries, however, I see no flaw in
or on you, Zuri.”
Standing over the tub, Mayan had his arms crossed and the
towel away from my reach as he looked down at me.
“I got a whole ass gut, Mayan. I know that makes me
sound superficial, but it’s hard looking at the physical
reminder of the thing that’s caused so much pain over the
years.”
“Girl, I don’t give a fuck about that little ass pudge. I
wouldn’t care if your stomach was fat, titties sagged, or your
ass was flat… You have a kind heart and a beautiful soul. Plus,
you’re pretty as hell. I’on care about all that other shit. If that’s
why you don’t want me to see your body, I promise you have
nothing to worry about.”
Squeezing the bridge of my nose, I processed his words.
Words meant a lot to me. They were like a balm to my aching
heart. That was part of the reason why I wasn’t dating. The
right words from the wrong man could lead to more pain, but I
wasn’t worried about that with Mayan. There wasn’t anything
about him that gave me the vibe that he wasn’t to be trusted.
 Mayan handed me the towel. I grabbed it, and before I
could stand, he was turning and heading toward the door.
I found solace in his admission of accepting my body
flaws and all. It felt silly worrying about my only true flaw.
Yes, my breasts were perky, my waist and hips were curvy,
and my ass was round… but it was that damn gut. Or pudge as
he so delicately put it. It wasn’t just my stomach itself; it was
what it represented. The fact that… every day I had to look at
the round mound knowing there was no baby there. It felt like
God was taunting me. Showing me what my body would have
looked like in the beginning stages of pregnancy because I
would never get there.
With a huff, I squeezed my eyes shut and shook my head. I
couldn’t allow me to stand in the way of getting what I
deserved. And I deserved a man who saw me like Mayan did.
Who appreciated and cherished me the way he did. Inhaling a
deep breath, I opened my eyes and commanded my
insecurities to flee.
“Hey,” I called softly as I stood.
“Yeah?” He stopped walking but didn’t turn to face me.
For a few seconds, I looked at the towel before telling him,
“Come dry me off.”
His shoulders relaxed and head flung back as he inhaled a
deep breath. “You sure about this, bae? I don’t want you to do
anything you’re not comfortable with.”
“I’m positive.”
Licking the corner of his mouth, Mayan walked back over
to me. Effortlessly, he lifted me out of the tub. He took his
time patting my body dry and went the extra mile of using my
body butter to moisturize me. My eyes filled with tears as he
whispered how beautiful I was—like he wasn’t planning for
me to even hear. As if he was having his own private moment
with my body.
When he kissed my stomach three times, I thought my
heart would rip out of my rib cage to go to him.
It belonged to him now.
 I belonged to him now.
Picking me up bridal style, Mayan carried me back into
our bungalow and placed me on the side of the bed. When he
started to grab my clothes, I gripped his wrist.
As he looked at me skeptically, I told him, “You can’t
make love to me with those on.”
“There’s no rush, Zuri. You’re worth the wait.”
Nodding, I cupped his cheek. “I’m ready, baby.”
Tugging his bottom lip between his teeth, Mayan hovered
over me until I was lying flat on the bed. With him between
my legs, I tried to keep my breathing from growing ragged.
My heart was palpitating like crazy. I was so scared of this
moment. Not because I thought he would hurt me, but because
I could tell he would revere my body in a way that had never
been done before.
It was easy to leave a man that had so many flaws or made
you feel like shit because of yours… but how was I going to
let Mayan go when he was everything I’d wanted and more?
Before he could kiss me, I pressed my hand into his chest
and called his name quietly.
“I want you to know it’s really difficult for me to cum,” I
warned. “I haven’t cum from penetration since before the
fibroids, so please don’t be offended if that doesn’t happen. I’ll
still feel pleasure and enjoy being with you.”
The cocky grin he gave me was followed by a chuckle.
“You’re telling me you’ve been giving these niggas access to
your pussy, and they haven’t even been making you cum?”
Shaking my head, I avoided his eyes. “It’s not their fault.”
“Yes, the fuck it is their fault. Fibroids or not, I would
never be a selfish lover and get mine without you getting
yours.” Clenched jaw, Mayan inhaled and released a hard
breath through flaring nostrils. “Is your clit easily stimulated?”
he asked in a softer tone.
“Yes. I can get myself off with my fingers and vibrators
with ease. Even a dildo if I’m doing it. It’s just their
penetration that didn’t do it.”
“So them niggas weren’t eating the pussy long enough to
make you cum either?” He chuckled and shook his head. “I’m
going to give you every ounce of pleasure you’re owed.”
“My…”
“Shh…” he commanded, caressing my cheek. “I promise
to take care of you. You don’t have to worry about shit with
me, aight?”
There he was… taking on burdens that didn’t belong to
him. Making me feel even more deeply for him. All I could do
was nod and breathe deeply, glad I was honest with him about
my past and my body. I hadn’t considered there being a perfect
response or thing to say… but if I had… his reply would have
been it.
His lips lowered to mine, kissing away every distracting
thought that filled my mind. When his lips descended, my eyes
went to the ceiling, but they quickly fluttered and closed when
he began to lick, nibble, and suck my nipples. As he palmed
and caressed my breasts, I squirmed underneath him. There
was no haste in his movements. He showed one just as much
love as the other, causing my pussy to immediately begin to
flow.
By the time he’d made it between my legs, I was sure there
was a small puddle waiting for him at my opening. Still, he
continued to tease me… kissing and nibbling my inner thighs.
“Mayan,” I begged, trying to move him where I wanted
him.
He chuckled as he looked up at me. “Will you let me take
my time?”
I know I’d told him that’s what I needed but at this point I
was more than ready. Still, I let him take his time providing
me with pleasure. The wetter I got, the better it would feel.
The second he slid his tongue between my folds my
breathing hitched. It was so thick and warm. Wet. Like he’d
been salivating in anticipation of this meal. My arms lifted and
I gripped the sheets as our eyes connected.
 Again, Mayan took his time, licking and sucking and
kissing my clit until my breathing turned into quiet whimpers.
Spreading my lips, he licked my clit until I became undone. It
was the first time a man had ever eaten my pussy until I came,
and Mayan didn’t let up. His hands slid up my body, tweaking
my nipples as he slurped my clit and fucked my opening with
his tongue. It wasn’t long before I felt those tingles shoot up
my spine again.
As warmth filled me, Mayan’s hands wrapped around my
neck. The pressure silenced my moans, but it made me cum
twice as hard. Body jerking, I was unable to push him away.
His hands around my neck kept me firmly in place. I was his
prisoner of pleasure—completely yielded in satisfying
submission.
He waited until I stopped moving to release me. When he
did, Mayan spread my legs as wide as they could go and licked
from the tip of my clit to my ass hole.
“Fuck!” I yelled, back arching as I gripped his head.
“Oohwee,” I moaned as my eyes rolled into the back of my
head.
I don’t know what the hell kind of detonator he’d found on
my clit, but it felt like I could feel his tongue all over me. My
body covered in chills as I convulsed and pushed him away.
“Where you think you going?” he asked, voice deep and
husky.
Pulling me back by my thigh, Mayan hovered over me.
“I can’t take anymore,” I replied breathlessly, making him
chuckle.
“That was only three. You gotta cum at least twice on this
dick then.”
“Only?” I stretched, watching him stand to remove his
towel.
“You heard what I said.”
Between his serious expression and calm tone, I was sure
I’d bitten off more than I could chew with this man. I mean, I
could tell just from his looks and attitude that he knew what he
was doing in the bedroom but Jesus.
Could I handle him?
Could I handle his dick?
I licked my lips at the sight of it—my favorite shade of
brown. Meaty. Curved downward. One large vein down the
center. He was long, but not so long I feared it would be too
painful.
As he returned between my legs, Mayan asked, “Do you
trust me?”
“Yes,” I replied with no hesitation.
“Let me know if I’m hurting you.”
I nodded, but I honestly didn’t see that happening unless
he went too hard and fast. I was wet enough for him to slide in
with ease.
At my opening, Mayan slowly began to make his way
inside. Like I suspected, there wasn’t a lot of resistance. By
the time he’d made it all the way inside, we both gasped and
held our breath. That first stroke was always the fucking best.
When he pulled out, we both exhaled.
His strokes were slow and short. I appreciated his
gentleness. Mayan licked and sucked my toes, making me
breathe heavily and curse under my breath. I encouraged him
to give me all of him—needing to feel him deeper.
“Are you sure, Zuri?” he asked, voice shaky, as if he was
already nearing the edge.
“Yes.”
Granting my request, Mayan lowered himself and stroked
me deeply. I clawed at his back instantly, feeling full from his
girth. He looked into my eyes with such passion and
affection… it made me wonder if anyone had ever really
looked at me before. With each stroke, Mayan brushed my clit.
It was the most intense feeling I’d ever experienced.
Him… so deep.
 So slow.
So fucking good.
I was moaning and chanting his name in no time.
Mayan buried his face in my neck. My eyes squeezed shut
at the feel of his breath against me. At him declaring my pussy
was the best. I wrapped my legs around him, holding him
close. Needing him even deeper. He rocked his hips, sending
my body just where it needed to be.
Releasing a sizzling breath, I pushed at his thighs as my
walls began to tighten around him.
“What you about to do?” he asked.
“I…”
“Hmm?” Unable to speak, my lips trembled as my pussy
pulsed. All I could do was whimper and moan as I came. “Tell
me you’re cumming.”
“I’m cumming,” I whined as my legs dangled.
“You’re getting my dick so wet, bae.” I knew. God, I knew.
I felt it. “Who’s making this pussy cum?” he taunted, gripping
my jaw and forcing me to look at him as I trembled.
“You are!”
“What’s my name?”
“Mayan,” I whimpered before declaring it louder a second
time.
He moaned, then groaned, but he never lost his rhythm.
Once my orgasm subsided, he lifted himself. Amusement
lifted the corners of his mouth slightly. I knew he’d be talking
cash shit when this was over, and honestly, I didn’t give a
fuck. He’d earned the right to brag.
Just as quickly as I found that funny, my emotions began
to consume me. The fact that he was the first man to truly take
his time with my body in over seven years brought tears to my
eyes. I knew sex was already going to bond us tighter, so I
didn’t want to add crying on to that. But I almost couldn’t help
myself.
 “You’re so good to me,” I moaned, spreading my legs
wider. “Good for me.” His head flung back as he bit his
bottom lip. “Good inside me.”
“Shut up before you make me cum.”
Giggling, I pulled him back down to me. “You can cum in
this pussy,” I granted, taking his balls into my palm. As I
massaged them, he moaned.
“Not until you cum again.”
His movements sped up slightly, and I was surprised it felt
better instead of worse.
That was a first.
I licked my thumb and began to caress his nipple. The
guttural groan he released was like music to my ears. It
seemed we were in competition to see who could make who
cum first. While I massaged his balls and played with his
nipples, Mayan’s finger found its way into my ass while he
pulled my hair.
“Harder,” I requested, surprising the hell out of myself.
He obliged, and for a while, all that was heard was my
pussy loudly smacking against him and our heavy breathing.
Before I knew it, he was groaning and I was moaning as we
came together. As he throbbed inside of me, I thought I’d be
filled with overwhelming sadness knowing those seeds, like
others, would never plant a baby inside of me. But as he rested
his body against mine and kissed me passionately all that
mattered was him and I…
 Chapter Eight

M ayan
D AY 2

A FTER BREAKFAST , Zuri and I parted ways for a while. While

she did yoga, I worked out at the gym, then went fishing. It
was hard as hell pulling away from her, especially after she
gave herself to me last night, but that was for the best. With
everything she’d gone through with men in the past, I wanted
to make sure she always had time to process what I was saying
and what was happening between us. It was easy for a nigga to
talk sweet shit to get what he wanted out of a woman. I wanted
her to have time with herself to judge me and come to her own
conclusion that I was worthy of her trust.
By the time I made it back to the bungalow, Zuri was good
and tipsy. She said drinking made her happy and horny, but I
learned last night it made her expressive too.
Sober, she listened. Tipsy, she spoke.
“Hey, handsome,” she greeted, standing and meeting me
halfway.
On the tips of her toes, she kissed my lips and hugged me.
I couldn’t resist squeezing her ass.
“You miss me?”
“I did. How has your day been so far?”
 “Good. I got a good workout in then went fishing. I
probably smell like outside.”
Leading me over to the couch, she chuckled. “A little but
it’s not bad.”
“You started the party without me huh?”
She giggled, covering her face briefly. “Yes. I went to the
bar outside and had a few green tea shots.” When she lowered
her hand, Zuri licked her lips. “I’m not drunk though. What
you wanna do?”
Her hand squeezed my thigh. “I was going to say grab
something to eat before we go kayaking, but if you keep
looking at me like that, I’m going to make a meal out of you.”
“You’re hard for me?” Her hand lifted, running across my
dick. “You want me to take care of that before we go?”
“Zuri,” I warned, watching her every move.
She stood and headed into the bathroom, returning with a
small bottle of vanilla massage oil. I loved that we both were
affectionate. It didn’t make me feel like I had to keep my
hands off her. Zuri also opened up enough to accept that she
didn’t have to hold back from me either.
Making her way between my legs, Zuri pushed her hair
back before pulling my dick out of my boxers and shorts.
After rubbing her hands together, she poured a few drops of oil
into her palm. She blew into her hand, then rubbed them
together again. The second her fingers swirled around my head
my eyes lowered.
“Pull these down,” she commanded softly. “Give me those
balls too.”
Moaning, I bit down on my bottom lip and did as I was
told. Between the slickness of the oil and warmth of her hands,
Zuri had me feeling so fucking good. I weakened against the
couch, gripping her wrists to try and prepare for her next
moves. While one hand was massaging my shaft, the other
was squeezing my balls or playing with my head. She ain’t
even have to put her mouth on me. I was cumming quick as
hell just from her hands.
 As my cum shot out, Zuri lowered her head and took me
into her mouth. My hand instantly gripped her head as I
groaned and jerked, toes curling as I fought to regain my
composure. If this was what I got when her ass got tipsy
without me, I couldn’t wait to experience the fun we would
have when she got drunk with me.
 Chapter Nine

Z uri
D AY 3

T ODAY HAD BEEN WILD . We went snorkeling and it was the

most amazing experience of my life. I’d never seen such
beautiful and exotic creatures so up close. I loved swimming
but doing so in the ocean took it to a new level. I’d never felt
freer, and honestly, I hated when it was over. After that, we
took a tiki boat ride which was cool. It was literally a floating
bar, but we didn’t drink that much. I was all for spending my
vacation tipsy as hell, but not while I was sitting in a chair
floating on the ocean. After that, we went to the spa for
massages before dinner at Bogie & Bacall’s.
They requested guests dress resort formal, so I was glad I
packed a one shoulder red maxi dress and a pair of flats. After
putting a few curls in my hair and doing a light beat on my
face, I slipped into my dress and sprayed a little of my Pink
Sugar perfume. I’d already had my body butter marinating and
soaking into my skin, so I was ready to go.
As soon as I stepped out, Mayan stood. His eyes scanned
my frame, and for the first time in years, I wasn’t self-
conscious about my stomach in a form fitting dress. I didn’t
have a covering and even though I considered switching this
out for a loose-fitting mid-thigh dress, the pride that covered
Mayan’s face as he walked over to me made my choice even
more worth it.
“You look absolutely beautiful, bae. Sexy as hell too.”
The left side of my mouth lifted into a smile. “Thank you.
You look very handsome yourself.” It was crazy how even in a
cream-colored linen short set this man was beyond sexy. “If
we don’t leave soon, we probably won’t get a seat at the bar.”
“Fuck all’at.”
“My…”
His left arm wrapped around me while his right hand tilted
my head. He kissed me deeply, swirling his tongue around
mine and sucking it. My pussy throbbed in remembrance of
how he’d tongued it down. We went another round this
morning, but it was already feeling like I needed a refill.
“Baby,” I almost sang, pushing at his chest gently. “We
have to go.”
I felt his dick pressing against me, and I had about five
more seconds of self-control before I was saying fuck dinner
so I could fuck him. Being with Mayan had reawakened a side
of me that had been dormant for so long. He’d been taking his
time with me in ways that hadn’t been done before. I couldn’t
even downplay it and say it was just about the sex. Though the
sex was amazing, it hit way deeper than that.
Mayan wasn’t just making love to my body—he was
making love to my soul.
“We don’t have to stop by the bar for cocktails. That gives
us an extra thirty minutes,” Mayan reasoned.
My giggle was light as his hands lowered to my ass. I was
small but my body was still curvy, thankfully. In me hiding my
stomach, I often hid my ass and breasts too. Mayan’s inability
to keep his hands off me gave me the confidence boost I didn’t
realize I needed. Yeah, I needed to be confident on my own…
but having my man’s validation hit different—I don’t give a
fuck what anyone says.
 “It does… but for what I want to do to you tonight, we
need more than that.”
Releasing me, Mayan nodded. “Let’s get dinner over with
then.”
Though he took my hand, Mayan released it after opening
the door so I could walk out first. He slapped my ass then
squeezed the same spot.
“Mayan,” I called sweetly, unable to stop myself from
smiling.
“It’s a damn shame how much you hide this beautiful
body. I’m taking full advantage of you having it on display
tonight.”
“I like the sound of that,” I agreed, looping my arm around
his as we walked.
It didn’t take long for us to make it to the bar for the
cocktails that were included with our dinner, but we actually
just sat there and talked. I liked that even in our silence and
moments of doing nothing around the bungalow the vibe was
one of peace and comfort.
At five-thirty on the dot, we headed to the restaurant for
dinner. We were seated close to a window, giving the perfect
backdrop of the ocean. There was a tealight candle in the
middle of the table that gave a romantic vibe to the otherwise
casually decorated restaurant. The khaki color scheme and
plants had my creative mind swirling, and Mayan must have
noticed it because he asked…
“You wish you had your camera?”
I nodded. “Yeah. My red dress would be the perfect pop of
color on that wall between the plants.”
“Want me to take a few of you on my phone?”
“Or… you could take a few with me and let our waitress
take them on your phone?”
“That sounds like a plan too.”
 I was glad he agreed. It was nice having a man not only
find my photography beautiful but enjoy having their picture
taken and taking them with me. Since they weren’t too
crowded yet, our waitress took a couple of pictures of us after
getting our drink order.
When we sat back down, Mayan asked, “Why
photography?”
“Hmm…” My mouth twisted to the side. I wasn’t asked
this question a lot surprisingly. My work often spoke for itself.
“I don’t know, honestly. It just… was a natural hobby turned
passion turned career. I’d always been obsessed with capturing
memories. Finding beauty in moments and freezing them in a
state of permanence. Maybe losing my grandmother on my
dad’s side and only having one picture with her had something
to do with it too. When I got older, I always wanted to
photograph time with family and friends or special occasions.
It kind of just took off from there.” As Mayan nodded I asked,
“Why basketball?”
Mayan’s crooked smile made my nipples harden. He was
too sexy for his own damn good. Every time I looked into
those lazy eyes or focused on his juicy lips…
“It wasn’t my passion,” he confessed. “It was something I
was good at and groomed at. My father knew I had what it
took to make it to the NBA so I did, but it was never the end
game for me.”
I nodded, remembering him saying he knew his career
would be over in five seasons or less. I believe he played three
before he retired and created his own clothing and shoe line.
He had a storefront here, in Houston, and in Los Angeles.
“Money was literally just a means for you huh?”
We were so engrossed with our conversation, with each
other, neither of us had touched the bacon wrapped shrimp that
had been placed on our table.
“Exactly. Work never felt like something I wanted to do
for my entire life. I always felt like God created us for more.
Now, for people who genuinely enjoy work and what they do,
that’s cool. But some people thrive off leisure and experiences
and that’s the kind of man I am. I knew I had to be rich
because if I lived the way I wanted to with no money, I would
look like a bum. So I played for as long as I needed to, to
make my pops proud and get my money up. After that, I
created my line since I had a true passion for clothes and
shoes, then invested in stocks and businesses that would keep
my money working for me.”
“I love that. Photography never felt like work to me until
the money stopped flowing consistently.” I chuckled, though I
was serious. “But moving here created a new lane for me with
matchmaking and blind dates. I absolutely love it and feel like
it’s something I could do for the rest of my life. I know I have
to take time to actually live more, though.”
“I’m glad you said that. If you’re going to be my woman,
we gotta get you a passport and lose that fear of flying. We’re
going to see the world. I don’t want any fears holding you
back.”
“Your woman?”
He smiled and rolled his tongue around his cheek. “Out of
everything I said, that’s what you want to focus on?”
Shrugging, I picked up a shrimp and bit it. He shook his
head and sat further in his seat. Not long after, our waitress
returned and took our orders. I got a rack of lamb while Mayan
played it safe with a ribeye.
Our conversation continued to flow. We talked about fears
and flaws, success and failures, strengths and weaknesses. I
enjoyed how deep we could go and it not feel stuffy or boring.
We were also able to discuss lighter topics or random things
that happened around us… but I loved feeling like I was able
to talk about things that really mattered with a man. Things I
hadn’t even talked to my husband about. It was refreshing.
He didn’t just make me feel seen and validated; he made
me feel heard too.
The rest of dinner went by in what felt like a half second,
but I guess that’s what happened when you were truly
enjoying someone’s company.
“Thank you,” I muttered before stealing a quick kiss.
We were about to head out of the restaurant, but I had to let
him know what was on my heart.
Mayan wrapped his arm around me, pulling me close.
Confusion covered his face before he asked, “For what?”
Sighing, I ran my hand down his chest. “I’ve felt unlovable
and unwanted with men. I thought it was because of my issues
but being with you has opened my eyes to how all the men in
my past were pretty much the same… just in different frames.
I was trying to get a soft, compassionate love from a hard man
and that was impossible. But with you…” I shrugged and
wrapped my arms around him. “I feel safe with you. Like I can
be soft and vulnerable and true with you. Not because you’re
weak but because you’re strong and secure in yourself. So
thank you, Mayan. For real. Even if things taper off when we
get back home…”
“Aht aht.” He placed a kiss to my forehead, nose, then lips.
“We’re not even going there, aight?”
I didn’t think I could get any closer, but as my body
relaxed, it felt like I literally melted into him. If I wasn’t
careful, this man was going to make me love him.

Between his lips on my ear and his dick pressed against

me, Mayan was making it hard as hell for me to open the door
of our bungalow. We’d stopped by the bar for our cocktails
since we didn’t get them before dinner, and we both were
feeling extra frisky. Our sex was amazing sober, but there was
something about that liquor in our system that took things to
another level.
“Damn I wish I could fuck you just like this,” he mumbled
before licking my ear. “I wish I could watch that ass jiggle
while you took this dick.”
Just as he pressed me into the door, I was getting it open.
We stumbled inside, laughing as if we had not one care in the
world.
“I wanna try that with you,” I confessed. “Everything else
with you is different. Maybe that would be different too.”
Since our talk and me telling him I didn’t like doggy style,
I had honestly been wanting to try it with him. We’d gone
slow and soft, fast and deep, a little hard… but we hadn’t
ventured there yet. I knew it was because he was respecting
what I’d said, and I appreciated him for that.
“Are you sure, Zuri? ’Cause my dick is hard as hell right
now and I can’t take being teased.”
“Yes. Just start out slow until I get used to it.”
“I promise I will.” I chuckled as Mayan tossed me over his
shoulder and carried me to the bed. After tossing me onto it he
said, “I want to harvest love everywhere pain has been sown
into your heart and life, bae. Do you trust me to do that?” I
moaned, spreading my legs as much as the tight dress would
allow. “Use your wor—”
“Yes,” I moaned, pulling him down to me.
Like every time, Mayan worked my body into a frenzy
with ease. We removed each other’s clothing before he was
helping me onto my hands and knees on the edge of the bed.
Though I was still a little nervous, I was more excited and
horny. Plus, Mayan had more than proven I could trust him
with me—all of me.
On his knees, Mayan spread my ass cheeks. As soon as his
tongue started to swirl around my hole I relaxed against the
bed. And when he started pressing it inside my hole my breath
hitched. Warmth spread through me as my body trembled. He
hadn’t even made it to my pussy yet and I was already about to
cum.
Finally, he slipped his middle finger inside of my pussy
and used it to circle my clit as he continued to lick my ass
hole. His mouth lowered, and I cried out when he slurped my
pussy. I almost fell into the bed, but his arm wrapped around
me, holding me close as he licked and sucked my clit.
“Mayan,” I moaned, gripping the sheets as I rocked back
and onto his face. My toes curled and walls throbbed as I
came, and he waited until every tremor ceased before he was
standing and pressing his dick inside of me.
As always, his strokes started out slow and short to give
me time to adjust. When I began to moan and breathe heavily,
he gave me his entire length. I was a bit tense at first, but my
body relaxed more and more as pleasure consumed me.
Eventually, I started rocking against him and fucking him
back.
The sound of his moans egged me on. Before I knew it,
we’d created a rhythm that had me about to cum quicker than I
ever had before. His dick curved downward, making it easy
for him to tap my g-spot with each stroke. Mayan was quickly
making what used to be my least favorite position my most
favorite position.
“I’m about to cum,” I warned, trying to straighten up.
Honestly, it was overwhelming. I didn’t know what the hell
was going on because I was so out of control of my body.
Though it felt good, I felt myself sobering up… refusing to
believe this moment was real.
“Arch that back,” he demanded, using his hand on my
waist to do just that. “You can take it.”
And I could.
I did.
I took every fucking stroke.
Humming softly, I gripped the sheets and closed my eyes
as I came. His strokes hardened slightly, causing me to gasp as
I felt my cum cascading down his shaft. My body felt
paralyzed and completely under his command as waves of
ecstasy ripped through me. It wasn’t until I exhaled and started
to tremble did he let up, and that was only because he was
cumming himself.
“Shit,” he moaned, pressing me down into the bed. “This
pussy is so fucking good I can barely control myself.”
His grumbled confession was like music to my ears. It felt
good to know he was struggling too. Mayan placed a pillow
under me, arching me so that only my ass was in the air. When
he slid back inside of me, I moaned and looked back at him.
Our eyes remained locked as I resisted the urge to run. I’d
never experienced anything that felt so good, and I’d need to
get used to this. To him. To us.
Mayan pulled out completely, just to press his way back
inside deeply. I cried out before my eyes rolled into the back
of my head. My body weakened in the bed as he did it again.
All I could do was lay there and let this man fuck the shit out
of me.
His movements sped up slightly, and he asked me quietly,
“Is this okay, bae?”
My mouth opened, but all I could do was whimper.
“Tell me how you feel.” Instead of going deep, he focused
on my opening, my g-spot. “I need you to say something.” His
hand wrapped around my neck from the front. “This shit feels
so fucking good.”
I’m not sure how in the hell he expected me to say
anything with him fucking me like that. All I could do was
grip his ass and push him in deeper. That seemed to be all the
confirmation Mayan needed that I was okay, because he
continued to deliver strokes that had my body tingling and
heating and reminding me that his was the only dick she ever
wanted to feel again.
 Chapter Ten

M ayan
D AY 4

W E DECIDED this morning that we’d just chill in a cabana by

the pool. Maybe swim a few laps. It was our last full day here,
but we really didn’t want to do anything else. So far, we’d jam
packed a lot of shit into a small amount of days, so I was glad
we both agreed to spend today resting. We’d already taken
care of our hygiene, and I was standing butt ass naked in front
of the mirror. While I put Vaseline on my body, she was sitting
on the edge of the tub putting body butter on hers. Before she
could leave out the bathroom, I gently grabbed her wrist and
pulled her in front of me.
“What are you doing?” she asked, grinning and trying to
hide it by biting down on her bottom lip.
I wrapped my arms around her and stared at the reflection
of us in the mirror. For a while, she looked everywhere but at
us.
“Mayan…”
“Look at us,” I commanded. “Look at you.” Her smile
dropped, and she sighed before doing as I said. “Where’d that
beautiful smile go?”
 As I kissed her temple, Zuri closed her eyes and tried to
cover her stomach but I placed my hands over hers and pulled
them back down.
“Zuri.”
“Okay!” she yelled quietly, opening her eyes and rolling
them in the process.
I shook my head and chuckled. “You’re so beautiful to me,
Zuri.” Her body softened against mine as she looked at us in
the mirror. “You’re perfect just the way you are.” When she
realized what I was doing, her mouth formed a small O before
she gasped and covered it. “You’re talented, creative,
intelligent, fun…” Her eyes watered and head shook as she
laughed. Lowering her hands, she inhaled a deep, shaky
breath. My hands lifted to her stomach, caressing the hard
mound that had been the cause of hardness over her heart too.
“Any man who lost you didn’t deserve you. And any man who
has you will have a true blessing from God.”
She turned in my arms and wrapped hers around my neck.
“Mayan,” she whispered, standing on the tips of her toes.
“Hmm?”
Instead of speaking, she tugged my bottom lip into her
mouth and kissed me deeply. Tenderly. When Zuri finally did
release me, she confessed, “If we wouldn’t have come here, I
wouldn’t have had the courage to give us a chance. I’m glad I
did, though, because you’re not just making me fall in love
with you—you’re making me fall in love with myself again
too.”
Resting my forehead on hers, I lifted her into the air and
placed her on top of the counter. We’d get to our cabana soon
enough. Right now, the only water I wanted to be inside of
was the wetness between her thighs.
 “How are you feeling?” I asked.
We’d decided at the last minute to go on a sunset cruise.
As the waves rocked underneath us, we watched the sun set.
Zuri nestled deeper into my chest and released a quiet sigh.
“Like I don’t want this to end.”
“It doesn’t have to. I’ll put my card on file and we can stay
for as long as you’d like.”
“As great as that sounds, we have to get back to reality
soon. Staying longer would only make me dread going home
more.”
I kissed her temple then asked, “Have you given any more
thought to being my date for Dru and Tasia’s trip?”
“Yes.” Zuri paused. “I would love to. If I went and had to
take pictures of you there with another woman, I’d probably
lose my shit.”
I didn’t have to actually see it to know she was pouting,
but I still turned her in my arms. Her hair was loosely curled,
blowing in the wind. That beautiful smile that I loved so much
spread her lips, denting her cheeks to expose deep dimples.
Soft, sweet eyes stared up at me.
“You are so damn pretty. I love looking at you.”
Usually she’d blush and look away. This time, she held my
gaze.
 “Thank you, handsome. I’m still trying to figure out how I
got you.”
Chuckling, I lowered my hands to her ass. “I hope the
woman I was supposed to meet that night is okay, but I’m so
glad I spent it with you.”
“I am too. I feel like I don’t give enough back to you, but I
want you to know you mean so much to me.”
I pushed her hair out of her face before cupping her
cheeks. “You’ve given me purpose and peace. You make me
feel like what I have to offer matters, and it has nothing to do
with money. I’ve never felt so connected with another human
being, and I will always be grateful to you for that.”
Her hands slid up my chest, and I knew exactly what that
meant. Anytime she did that, she was in her feelings and sex
would soon follow. I swear I loved being with a woman that
loved sex just as much as me. Being able to open her up to
new experiences and pleasures filled me with so much
pleasure.
Even before Zuri was mine… she was mine.
Mine to do whatever the fuck I wanted to do.
And I was determined to spend the rest of my life giving
her every ounce of the love, respect, and acceptance she
deserved.
 Chapter Eleven

Z uri
I WAS TRYING NOT to be sad. We’d just made it back to
Hibiscus Hills and I was not looking forward to being away
from Mayan. But… he had this thing about giving me three
days to process things that happened between us, so I was
already trying to mentally prepare for that as soon as we got
on our flight.
It was crazy how my mentality had shifted over the course
of the past week. When we left, I was sure I wouldn’t want to
spend any more time with him when we came back. Now, I
hated to be away from him.
Mayan placed my bags at the door, not even bothering to
try and step fully inside of my apartment.
“I’m gonna give you a few days to return to normality but
I want to see you again soon, okay?”
Though I nodded in agreement, I tugged him down the hall
after closing the door. “Can you stay for a little while?
Please?”
He smirked, eyes lowering down my frame. “Yeah, I can
do that.” When I released his hand, Mayan told me to show
him around.
I chuckled with a shake of my head. “There’s not much to
see. I’m sure my apartment can fit in your living room.”
 I hadn’t been to his home yet, but I could tell by his
Instagram pictures that it was big as hell.
“This is cute though. Bigger doesn’t always mean better.”
“What would make living in a mansion better than actually
living in a mansion?”
“Living there with you.”
“Mhm.” I rolled my eyes playfully as I showed him around
my apartment.
We settled in the living room, where I instantly found my
way onto his lap.
“Would you like to come to my place soon? I’ll get my
homeboy that’s a chef to cook for us. We can make a date
night out of it.”
“That sounds good, but I could always make us some
peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.”
The laugh he released would have offended me if I hadn’t
meant to make him smile. He clowned me for wanting to bring
some on our flight, so I knew he would get a kick out of that.
“You silly as hell, you know that?” Mayan released a
softer chuckle before licking his lips and kissing mine. “If
that’s what you want to eat, that’s what we can eat. You might
not want to leave though.”
He pushed my bang back and out of my face before
running his fingers through my hair.
“Would you be okay with that?”
“I would be more than okay with that. I might not want to
let you go.”
Wrapping my arms around his neck, I kissed his cheek.
“I’m going to miss you, My.”
He chuckled. “It’s just three days, bae. You sprung
already?”
“Yes!”
 Mayan’s laugh made me smile but I was serious as hell.
There was no shame in my game. I didn’t give a damn how
sprung I looked. We’d just spent the last four damn days
together. Even though we took time every day for ourselves,
we still spent the bulk of the day together and I went to sleep
in his arms. It was fucking with me knowing I would have to
sleep alone tonight. Yes, I knew I would survive, but why deny
myself something that brought me so much peace and pleasure
when I didn’t have to?
“I want to be with you too.” Mayan pulled my hair, forcing
me to look into his eyes. “But I also want to make sure you are
okay with how things are happening between us. I want you to
have control at all times. So I give you space just to make sure
you have time to come down from the high I may have put you
on.” His finger dipped in my dimple, making me smile harder.
“I want you to always know this is real.”
“I appreciate that, I really do. Mayan, I know this is real.
Everything else I’ve ever had has been an artificial copy of
this. Yes, it can be overwhelming sometimes, but I don’t need
three days to realize your intentions are pure.”
“If you’re sure…”
“I am. What about a day?”
After thinking it over for a second, Mayan agreed with,
“Okay, that’s fair.”
His head shook, and I saw something flick in his eyes that
I hadn’t realized until now.
“Hey,” I called quietly, cupping his cheeks. “Talk to me.
What’s going on right now?”
Mayan’s expression had hardened, and his voice lowered.
He sighed.
“I guess I’m trying to make you take breaks because I
don’t want to get too invested and you decide this is no longer
what you want to do. A part of me feels like I’m already
extremely attached to you. If your fears and insecurities cause
you to want to end this… it’ll hurt more unless I’m prepared.
So every time we take those breaks away from each other, I
prepare for you to come back and tell me you’ve changed your
mind.”
“Baby…” Taking his hand into mine, I kissed his palm. “I
won’t lie and say my situation doesn’t make me a little
nervous, but I would be crazy to allow that to keep me from
being with you. I’m willing to compromise with you, and I can
honestly say I haven’t felt that way ever. You can trust that I’m
not going to change my mind about us because of my past or
my fibroids. If we don’t work, it’ll be because we realized we
weren’t a good match. I’m fully dedicated to this. To us.”
Mayan’s hands rocked me against him slowly, and the feel
of his hardness underneath me caused chills to cover my arms.
I hadn’t told him that a lot of my reasoning for not having the
surgery myself was the price. Because I was self-employed,
my insurance options had been limited. Thankfully, I’d finally
found a decent deal during the last open enrollment period, but
my gynecologist was going to have me going through hoops
before I could even have the surgery. Along with having to
wait several months before I could even be considered for the
surgery, they would have to be big enough and cause a certain
amount of issues before my insurance would pay. Basically,
they would have to get worse before they approved the surgery
so I would be better. I wasn’t looking forward to spending
thirty or forty thousand dollars out of pocket, but that would
have been the quickest alternative.
It was easier for me to complain about my situation and
feel bad about it because the alternatives were uncomfortable.
Even if I was to try and completely remove everything from
my diet and life that added to my excess estrogen, there was
no guarantee that the fibroids would shrink and stay away. Or,
I would have to spend a large chunk of money for the surgery,
and there was no guarantee they would stay away. Or, I’d have
to wait months maybe even a year for them to get worse
before my insurance approved the surgery.
I’d simply given up—straight up. Even if that meant
giving up on my future, the family I wanted, marriage… all of
that.
 Looking back on it, it seemed a little dramatic now, only
because seeing myself through Mayan’s eyes had given me the
ability to be on the outside of my situation looking in. In those
moments, all I felt was myself drowning in insecurity and
unfairness. Mayan’s care and affection had lifted me up and
out of my despair… he’d become a life vest. An anchor.
Keeping me steady.
“I’m glad you feel that way,” Mayan expressed. “Even
though I was feeling you from the beginning, when you sent
me those pictures, I knew what it was. I felt like I saw myself
falling in love with you. I really needed to hear you say that.”
My left hand lifted to his scalp. I scratched it softly before
placing a kiss on his nose.
“You’re my picture perfect love, Mayan. No matter what
happens in our future, I’m going to enjoy every day that we
have together.”
That must have settled his nerves because he pulled my
hair gently and pressed his lips into mine. I pulled away, only
because I was already feeling vulnerable and knew I’d want to
have sex.
“Not yet.” He pecked my lips. “I want more.”
Surrendering to his desire, I returned my lips to his. The
deeper he kissed me, the more I wanted more too. Like second
nature, we removed each other’s clothing until there was
nothing left between us. Sliding down his shaft, I held the back
of the couch as I began a medium paced ride. Our eyes
remained locked as I rode him with precise movements.
I felt in control until he lowered himself further on the
couch and arched my back. He smiled softly, smacking my ass
before palming my breasts. As my head tilted, my mouth
opened as I struggled to focus on anything other than how
good he always felt inside of me. It was embarrassing
cumming so quickly, but that was always the effect he had on
me. Now was no different, I found myself shuddering against
him in no time.
 When my orgasm subsided, I turned to ride him reverse
cowgirl. Instead of letting me lean forward, Mayan wrapped
his arms around me and pressed my back into his chest. He
placed sweet kisses along my neck and cheek before taking
hold of my lips. And my clit. Each time his fingers circled my
clit I was sure my pussy gushed more.
The better it felt, the angrier I got. How dare he expect me
to wait three days to see him again? Feel him again? Be near
him again? This was a feeling I wanted every day for the rest
of my life. Not just the sex. Though it was amazing… I wanted
the closeness. The wholeness. The feeling that… no matter
what else I didn’t have, if I had myself and him, I would be
good.
Was this what it felt like to have a soul mate? A better
half? The person you knew you were supposed to spend the
rest of your life with?
“Baby,” I moaned, shifting slightly so I could look into his
eyes fully. “I… I’m falling in love with you too,” I finally
expressed.
I was afraid I’d already fallen, but I was too scared to say
that.
“Fall. I’ll catch you.”
His declaration gave me peace and even more
confirmation that he was the one for me. I remembered him
saying he was giving time the time to catch up with his heart. I
was there now too. The mood shifted. Mayan felt it too. He
stopped my movements before picking me up and carrying me
to my bedroom.
“I’ll just stay the night,” he reasoned, placing me in the
middle of the bed and sliding back inside of me. “But I’m
going home tomorrow, Zuri.”
I laughed quietly before nodding in agreement. Fuck what
he thought this was. I was going home with his ass too!
 Chapter Twelve

M ayan
“Y OU FINALLY DECIDED to come up for air?” my father teased,
extending his hand for me to shake.
“Pussy must be good as hell. I ain’t seen his ass since he
came back home,” Dru added, not even bothering to look up
from his phone.
“Don’t worry about how good my woman pussy is. You
just focus on what you got going on.”
We’d decided to meet at the lounge up the street from my
parents house after I stopped by my store. I’d been back in
town for a week now, but this was the first time I’d seen
anyone from my family. Spending time with Zuri had
something to do with that, but I also had a lot to catch up on.
She’d come to my home, and like I expected, her ass didn’t
want to leave. Intentionally, I’d left three bedrooms empty for
my wife to have her own space and our kids. I had one room
setup as a guest room, one room for my home office, and my
bedroom. I had an additional bonus room that was like a chill
room and smaller guest room, plus a basement that I’d
converted into my man cave. After purchasing the property, I
had a smaller suite built in the back by the pool that I used for
entertaining guests because I was very particular about the
energy I let into my home.
 Over the past week, Zuri had taken over one of the empty
rooms and started using it to handle her business while she
was there, and I loved that. I loved how we were able to
handle our business without feeling like a hindrance to one
another, instead, motivating one another to go even harder.
I wasn’t hands on in my stores, but I created all my
designs. Being with Zuri opened a different level of my
creativity. All week I’d been working on a shoe design that
would look like the sun setting over the ocean and sand. Every
day I wished I was back on that boat watching the sun set with
my baby. The distractions of everyday life had me yearning for
that moment of peace. But it was cool because it made
moments like that one that much more special. I couldn’t wait
to get away with her again.
“So things are pretty serious with you two?” Pops asked as
I sat between them.
Sitting my phone on top of the table, I checked to make
sure I didn’t have any calls before giving my full attention to
them.
“I mean… yeah.” I shrugged, following the bartender with
my eyes. She must have felt someone looking at her because
she looked in our direction. With a smile, she nodded, and that
was all I needed to know she’d be over soon. “As serious as
they can be in such a small amount of time,” I continued.
“What do you mean?” Dru asked, to which my father
nodded as he took a swig of his beer.
“I like her a lot. Not gonna deny that. She fits me. She’s
the woman I can cultivate to make better and be influenced by
to be better. Since we got back, my creativity has been flowing
like crazy. Plus… she makes me feel like a man. Like a good
partner. I don’t know. She’s just good for a nigga.”
By the time I’d finished, Dru had set his phone on the
table. “I knew shit was serious when you posted her on your
IG.”
Our father chuckled. “What’s that supposed to mean? It’s
not like he was cheating with her and needed to hide it.”
 “True, but Mayan doesn’t like people all in his business.
He’s not playing ball right now but he’s still a public figure,
especially in the south. Bloggers are going to be eating that
shit up. That’s a lot of pressure to put on yourself for someone
you don’t see yourself being with for the long haul.”
“So when can we meet her?”
I shrugged, looking at the waitress as she came over to the
table to greet me and take my order. I didn’t plan on staying
long, so I just got a beer and green tea shot.
“I’m keeping it sacred right now,” I confessed. “Y’all will
meet her soon, but I want to keep her to myself. Things change
when you start adding friends and family to the mix. Not to
say y’all would run her away or anything like that. I just want
her to myself for a little while longer.”
My father grinned and crossed his arms over his chest. As
he stared at me, Dru laughed.
“What?” I asked. “Why you looking at me like that?”
“Gone say it,” Dru urged, standing and walking over to the
pool sticks.
“You’re gonna marry this one. I was the same way about
your mother, and Dru was the same way about Tasia. We
protect what we want to preserve, from everyone. She’s your
one.”
He stood and squeezed my shoulder. “Congratulations,
son.”
After patting my back, he walked over to the pool sticks
and grabbed one. I told them I had the winner before losing
myself in my thoughts. It hadn’t registered that Dru had said
something similar when he first started dating Tasia. While I
wasn’t rushing down the aisle, I made it perfectly clear
marriage was one of my current goals. I knew in my heart Zuri
was the one, but I didn’t mind giving time a little time to catch
up with that fact. As long as she was willing to trust me and
open up to me, I was committed to being the kind of man that
made sure she never regretted that. Zuri said I was her picture
perfect love. I wasn’t perfect, but I was damn sure hers to love.
 Chapter Thirteen

Z uri
T WO M ONTHS Later

I WAS FROZEN IN PLACE , watching my ex-husband make his

way toward me.
Memphis was a big-small city. It was big, but when you
were known… you were known by everyone… and it was
hard to escape that. That was the case with me and Eric.
Admittedly, him saying he didn’t want kids felt like an
insult to me at the time. I’d just spent a whole year trying to
make that happen for him, driving myself crazy, and he
basically said to hell with it. My anxiety and depression were
up to the point where I’d been prescribed medicine, I was
stressing and feeling like a failure for my husband… and he
just said fuck that shit. I can admit now that I was angry and
hurt, and divorce was my escape.
After our divorce, it was impossible for us not to see each
other because we moved in the same circles. Eventually, we
just worked through our issues and became friends again.
Well, our definition of friends… the bittersweet kind.
The kind that made my heart ache every time we were in
the same room. The kind that caused me to wonder why me or
what if. The kind that caused every engagement we had to end
with lingering looks and a soaking pussy that made my eyes
cry too. Because truthfully… Eric was the first man that made
me feel like my pussy was broken. No matter how much
pleasure it provided, it was the source of a hell of a lot of pain
mentally and emotionally.
As the fibroids progressed, the pain turned physical too.
Not once had that been the case with Mayan, though, and I
cherished him more for taking care of me in those moments of
intimacy.
Mayan accepted me as I am. Knowing about my inability
to conceive, he still chose me, and no other man had ever done
that without a huge sacrifice having to be made by me. He
renewed the hope that disappointment and pain had crushed
over the years.
I was frozen in place, watching my ex-husband make his
way toward me.
This was the first time since our divorce that I felt whole
and unbreakable as he looked at me… so why couldn’t I
fucking move?
He looked good too. Just a few inches taller than me, his
smooth dark chocolate skin had always been my favorite part
of him. That, and his round eyes and big lips.
“There’s my girl,” was Eric’s greeting. His arms were
outstretched, waiting for me to step inside.
“Hey,” I managed to reply, accepting his embrace.
“She ain’t your girl no more, bruh. You know that shit.”
My eyes rolled and settled on Rumi as I pulled myself
away from Eric. Since our divorce, she’d made it perfectly
clear that she couldn’t stand his ass. It didn’t matter how much
I told her the divorce was mutual, she felt like Eric was wrong
for leaving me because he didn’t want kids anymore. In her
mind, since I couldn’t have any at that point, we could have
stayed together. I understood her logic, but I felt like that
would have been the moment I miraculously conceived—just
because he didn’t want me to. The last thing I wanted was to
create a baby with a man who didn’t want one. Besides, if I
wouldn’t have released Eric, I wouldn’t have met Mayan, and
no one was topping him.
“Zuri will always be my girl,” Eric replied, not even
bothering to look at my sister. His grin was wide as he licked
his lips and looked me over. I imagined I was looking better
than I had in a really long time. Mayan took my health just as
seriously as he took his. Not only was he motivating me to eat
a balanced meal three times a day, but he was making sure I
limited the things that fed my fibroids. He’d also hooked me
up with a herbologist, nutritionist, and physical trainer.
Over the course of two months, I gained weight in my ass,
lost my gut and started getting abs, and my waist was getting
small as fuck.
Between the detoxing and implementing so many greens
and alkaline foods into my diet, my skin was even clearer now.
Literally glowing. Like I was walking around with a glass face
in this bitch.
But even with all the progress I’d made, I was still going to
see my gynecologist in the morning. That was why I was in
Memphis. I hadn’t found one in Hibiscus yet. Since things
were going so well between Mayan and I, I wanted to go
ahead and start the process of having the fibroids shrunk.
Since it felt like they’d gone down even more, I believed I
could get away with having a uterine fibroid embolization
instead of having them removed surgically. Not only was UFE
ten to twenty thousand dollars cheaper, but it was a minimally
invasive same day procedure that would cause the fibroids to
shrink with time. I was confident that between it and the
lifestyle changes I was making I would see permanent results.
That way, if we were to get married and try to start our
family within the next year, that would be the biggest step
already out of the way. I was prepared for her to recommend
some pills that would help with my ovulation and fertility if
needed in the future, and I was praying that would be all it
took when we were ready to try and conceive. However, if it
took more, or we had to use a surrogate, I was finally at peace
with that too.
 “Boy, bye.” Rumi’s hand dismissively waved as she
looked around the park.
We’d come out for a brunch party, but I was hot as hell and
ready to go back to our parent’s place already. I wouldn’t ruin
her fun though. We would stay as long as she wanted to.
“You’re looking real good, Zuri,” Eric continued. Taking
my hand into his. “How are you, baby?”
“I’m good. Really good. How are you?”
“Better now that I’m seeing you. How long are you going
to be in town?”
“Until Tuesday morning.”
Nodding, Eric stepped closer, removing the space between
us. “Can we link before you go?” His eyes shifted toward
Rumi. “Privately?”
“For what exactly?”
I pulled my hand from his. Absently, I looked down at my
phone on top of the table.
“To catch up. I hear you’re doing great things with your
studio now. We haven’t been talking as much since you
moved.”
“Y’all don’t talk as much because she has a new boo,”
Rumi added, picking her mimosa up and taking a sip.
Chuckling, I shook my head and focused on the gold and
pink balloons before looking at her. “Ru…”
“I know about him. I feel some type of way about that shit
too,” Eric confessed.
Slowly, my head turned in his direction. “What?”
“Look… I know things ended between us a while ago, but
you’ve always been my heart, Zuri. I felt like it was best for us
to part ways because we no longer wanted the same things.
We’re older now and I’m ready to settle down.” With a shrug,
his hands went to my waist. “I was hoping we could pick back
up where we left off.”
 My head shook in disbelief as I scoffed. Chest tingling, my
stance grew more and more restless.
“Let me get this straight.” I swallowed hard. “Now that
you’ve spent the past five years fucking God only knows how
many women, partying, and having the time of your life… you
want to settle down and be a husband again?”
“Yeah. Let’s be real, we were young as hell when we got
married. I didn’t want to be tied down.”
“And you had that right, but that doesn’t mean you can
come back and have the same access to me. I told you when
we agreed to divorce that there was no coming back from that.
I told you to be very sure about what you wanted because
when I forced myself to release the love I had for you in my
heart, I would never let you come inside again.”
Chuckling, Eric’s eyes rolled to the sky. “You know that’s
not true.” Licking his lips, Eric dropped his hands from my
waist. “To be honest with you, I only said I didn’t want kids
because I didn’t want you to feel bad about not being able to
have any. I know they said it was possible eventually, but I
didn’t want us stuck in that same draining space for years.
That was my way of protecting you. But you took the shit to a
different level when you put divorce on the table. I felt like I
didn’t have any other choice but to agree.”
“That’s bullshit!” I yelled louder than I’d planned to. “I
was more than willing to do whatever it took to ensure we
were able to have a child. You’re the one who said it was a
sign because you’d changed your mind about having them.
How dare you stand there and try to make it seem like any of
your selfish ass choices were for me? You’re the one who
switched up, and I graciously released you because I loved
you!”
“And I love you too,” he interrupted, taking my hands into
his. “I’ve always loved you, and I want to be with you. I’ve
had my fun, and I’m ready to settle down now.”
Our eyes remained locked for a few seconds before I
pulled my hands from his.
 “First, it was because our priorities changed, then it was
because you didn’t want to be tied down, next it was because
you were trying to spare me, now it’s because you wanted to
have fun. Which one is it, Eric? Because they all can’t be the
truth.”
“It doesn’t matter what the reason was, sis. He’s your ex
for a muthafucking reason. Fuck him.”
My head shook as I eyed his frame. The love and respect I
had for him was starting to slowly seep out. I wasn’t sure what
had caused this switch up in Eric, but I didn’t like this version
of him at all.
“Look…” He sighed, shoulders slouched. “I fucked up,
aight? I will be honest… I’ve stayed your friend because I
wanted to keep tabs on you.” Eric looked away before
returning his eyes to mine. “I felt like I could still have access
to you if I made sure things didn’t get too serious between you
and another man. But this thing that you have with him… it’s
different. I guess I wanted to see if we still had a chance before
things went to the next level with you and him.”
Even though I was glad he was finally coming clean about
his intentions, I was still confused by his truth. Up until now,
Eric had never expressed interest in reconciling. We flirted but
never anything serious. Plus, he was almost always with
someone. This was new to me, and it was honestly making me
a little uncomfortable.
I didn’t hide my relationship with Mayan from anyone. He
was all over my personal Instagram and he’d been to Memphis
with me twice. Both times, we were around my family and
friends. So I knew it was no secret to Eric that I was in a
relationship. It fucked with me knowing he would see me with
someone… genuinely happy… and try to come between that.
It made me feel like the friendship we had was a fucking lie.
Okay… yes… so I was settling for the friendship because
our marriage didn’t work. Either way, that shit was about to
end now. If he’d waited five damn years to express his desire
to get me back just because he didn’t want me married to
anyone else, that wasn’t a grand gesture or act of love; that
was possessiveness—and what I had with Mayan was the
ultimate freedom.
My voice was low and trembling as I said, “I need you to
get out of my face, Eric.”
“Zuri…”
“You’re basically standing there saying you didn’t love me
enough to be with me, but you refuse to watch me be loved
properly by someone else.” Rumi stood, making her way back
to my side. “You’re right; things are different between me and
Mayan. He’s the first man that’s ever shown me unconditional
love, care, and acceptance. Do you really think I would give
that up for you?”
“I loved you unconditionally too!” he roared, causing
Rumi to step between us. “I might not have shown you how
you wanted me to, but I was young minded. I didn’t know
what else to do!”
“Not fucking run away and leave me when I needed you
most! If you loved me, you should have just said baby or not I
love you for you and want to be with you regardless! You
could have said you didn’t want a divorce because you loved
me, Eric, damn! That’s all the fuck I needed you to say!”
Before I could stop them, the tears were falling from my eyes.
Our raised voices had garnered attention, but I didn’t give a
fuck about that. “Do you not understand the cycle you started?
Every man I entertained after you ruined more of me! I felt
like I deserved less because I couldn’t give you a baby and
then you downplayed the shit like it didn’t mean anything to
you at all. I’d spent a whole year stressed out and anxious,
making my situation worse, because I felt like a failure over
not being able to have a baby for you. And you said you didn’t
want one like that was supposed to make the shit okay
knowing how much us having our own family meant to me.
You looked at me with such sadness every month when I came
on my period. And when we got that false positive and found
out I wasn’t pregnant you went into the bathroom and freaking
cried. Every time we heard or saw a baby announcement I saw
your chest cave, Eric. I know that shit hurt you, and you just…
switched up on me and forced me to deal with that on my
own…”
“What else was I supposed to do? A whole fucking year
had passed, and I still hadn’t planted the right seed in you.
You’re right; I was sad. I was mad. I was disappointed. That
shit hurt bad as fuck. All I wanted was to give my baby a baby
and I was unable to. I took that personally! That shit hurt you,
but it hurt me too! So yes, I switched up because I was trying
to protect you… not hurt you.”
As I sniffled, I allowed Eric to wipe the tears from my
face. We took a few seconds to compose ourselves, allowing
the crowd to die down.
“Why didn’t you say this then, Eric?”
“I didn’t know how to, and for that, I will apologize. I
handled the situation how I thought was best.”
“Eric…”
“Let’s have one now,” he pleaded softly, pulling me into
his arms. “Let’s have a baby now. Whatever it takes, we’ll do.
Let me give you the support you need now. Even if it takes us
five years…”
“It’s too late.” Pushing his arms down, I put space between
us. “Look, I can’t disappoint you like that again. I can’t break
your heart again. I appreciate what you’ve said today, but it
doesn’t change the fact that I’m falling in love with Mayan.
He’s good for me, and I’m not willing to risk that for anyone.”
“Not even me?”
I thought about it for a moment, clenching my jaw and
willing more tears not to fall. “No. Not even you.”
Eric’s bobbed his head once. He took a step back before
licking his lips and nodding again.
“Are you sure?”
Inhaling a deep breath, I nodded and closed my eyes as I
almost whispered, “Yes.”
 When I opened my eyes, Eric was walking away. I didn’t
realize my body was swaying until Rumi wrapped her arms
around me.
“What the fuck was that?” I asked, trying to keep myself
from hyperventilating.
“A distraction from the devil. He knows you’re happy with
Mayan and on the brink of the next phase of your life. Do not
let Eric ruin this for you or make you question your
relationship.”
Nodding, I quickly wiped newly fallen tears. “You’re right.
I’ve never been happier. I can’t wonder what if more than I
already have over the years. Eric’s had so much time to make
things right. If it took my happiness with someone else to
force him to move… he doesn’t deserve me.”
“You’re right, sis. He doesn’t. Please don’t let his words
run circles around your mind.”
I nodded but remained silent as I watched Eric walk
further into the distance. While a part of me was 100 percent
sure I’d made the right decision, the other part of me couldn’t
help but wish Eric and I would have had this conversation a
while ago.
While I knew it was affecting him, I didn’t realize how
much. I was only worried about my pain in that moment. My
pride. My ego. My shame. If he would have just been honest
with me, we could have been there for each other and made it
work.
But was that what was best?
Maybe things happened for a reason. Eric had been my
best friend… my first lover. Did that mean he was meant to be
my forever partner? I thought that back then, but now that my
heart had been restored by Mayan, I honestly couldn’t say that
was the case anymore…
 Sighing, I shook my head and forced myself to close out of
Instagram. Apparently, the prying eyes at brunch over the
weekend recorded my encounter with Eric. Some gossiping
ass blogger had posted it and insinuated there was trouble in
paradise for me and Mayan because of an ex.
Thankfully, Mayan wasn’t bothered by it, and I think that
was because I’d called him as soon as I got home before the
shit was posted but still. This was new to me. I was used to
people recording drama and invading the privacy of
strangers… Social media had severely dehumanized us and
made us less compassionate and sympathetic… But this was
the first time I’d ever been on the receiving end of it.
I went to my text messages after seeing that I had one from
my baby. Two months seemed like forever when things were
going bad, but it felt like two seconds now that I was being
treated so good. It was like I could never get enough of him.
No matter what we did or how much time we spent together, I
always wanted more. I was absolutely smitten with Mayan
Smith, and there wasn’t a damn thing Eric or anyone else
could do about it.
Honestly, I was a little confused yesterday. It was like I
was finally getting what I wanted from him after all these
years—support, acceptance, communication, unconditional
love. But it was five years too late. It took him five damn years
to give what Mayan was giving me from the moment we met. I
would have been a damn fool to let that go for any other man.
 My Baby ✨: Call me after you leave the doctor. I wish you
would have let me come with you.
Smiling, I texted back, I wanted to do the first one by
myself just to be safe. Promise to update you on everything.
Releasing a content sigh, I lowered myself in my seat and
got comfortable. I didn’t know how long it was going to take
for me to be called back to see my doctor.
Normally I would have busied myself reading or playing a
game on my phone, but I didn’t want to tempt myself and get
back on social media to see what people were saying. Mayan
made me promise not to look at it or let it bother me, and I was
determined to do just that. He trusted me and that I would
never cheat on him with Eric or anyone else, and that was all
that mattered to me.
After about five minutes, I was called back to do my
urinalysis and blood test. Then, I was sent back to the waiting
room of course.
I checked my phone again, rolling my eyes at the sight of a
text from Kevin. I didn’t know what the hell was going on and
why my exes were coming out of the shadows, but I didn’t like
that shit. It further confirmed to me that I was headed down
the right path with Mayan. Not even bothering to reply to his
hey, beautiful text, I blocked him, Eric, and Iman just to be
safe. I didn’t want to talk to any of their asses. I could imagine
my value increased now that they saw a man genuinely loving
me. That was their guilty cross to bear. Now, I was even more
anxious to get the hell out of Memphis and back to the peace
I’d found in Hibiscus Hills.
At the sound of my name being called, I dropped my
phone into my purse and followed the nurse down the hall. I
was expecting her to do the ultrasound so they could monitor
the shrinking of my fibroids, but the doctor was already seated
and waiting for me.
“Good morning, Ms. Simpson,” she greeted with a smile.
“How have you been?”
 “Good.” I sat in the chair that was a few feet across from
her small black stool. “You?”
“Same.” Doctor Owens lowered her clipboard to her lap.
“So you’re here to discuss having the UFE procedure done?”
Nodding, I smiled. “Yes. I met someone and things are
getting pretty serious. I want to be proactive about making
sure we can start a family in the future, but I don’t want to get
cut open unless I absolutely have to.”
Doctor Owens chuckled. “I don’t think you’ll have to wait
too long for that, Zuri.” Her voice dropped and so did a bit of
her professionalism, which I was cool with. She’d been my
gynecologist for the past three years. I didn’t come often
because it was always to the news that they had grown, but
when I did come, she was who I saw.
“What do you mean? Did they shrink?”
“Yes.” Doctor Owens leaned forward. “But that’s not what
I mean. You’re pregnant, Zuri.”
My eyes blinked rapidly. Head tilting, I stared at her as my
mouth dropped. With a fast beating heart, I clutched my chest,
refusing to believe what I’d heard.
“What did you say?”
“I said you’re pregnant. Even though you said there wasn’t
a chance you were pregnant, we always test your urine to be
safe. Congratulations.”
My head shook as I began to rock in my seat. “How?”
Tears fell so rapidly I didn’t try to wipe them away.
“Have you been having unprotected sex?”
“Well… yes… but I don’t understand. I haven’t been able
to get pregnant in my whole life.”
She laughed again, rolling toward me and placing her hand
on my shoulder. “Sometimes, it’s just a matter of time.
Fibroids make it very difficult to conceive or carry full term
for some women, but it doesn’t always mean infertility or
infertility forever. You may have been trying and failing for
years for a number of reasons, but I can confidently tell you
that this is your season. You are pregnant.” She stood. “When
was your last period?” she asked, looking down at my chart.
“Um… maybe three months ago, but that isn’t anything
new. Sometimes I’ll be four or five months late, so it wasn’t a
big deal.”
“Let’s do an ultrasound, Mama. We can determine your
due date and let you hear your baby’s heartbeat.”
Standing, I gripped the chair in disbelief. This was the
moment I’d been waiting on and I was least expecting it.
Mayan was going to kill me for not letting him come.
Mayan.
Shit.
What if he thought I’d been lying just to trap him? I told
him about all my failed attempts to have a baby and now I’m
pregnant as soon as we start having sex?
Jesus.
He’s definitely going to think I trapped him.
I couldn’t think about that right now. Right now… all I
wanted to focus on was the baby that was finally growing
inside of me…

T HE WHOLE TIME I drove back home I felt like I was on

autopilot. As soon as I grabbed my bags and got some gas, I
made it back to Hibiscus as quickly yet safely as I could.
Mayan’s mansion was my first stop. Pulling into the circular
driveway, I growled quietly as my nerves started to get the
best of me. I’d been praying he would believe me when I said
I wasn’t trying to set him up. Even I couldn’t believe I was
pregnant, and I’d seen my baby and heard his or her heartbeat.
Chuckling, I gripped the steering wheel and shook my head.
My hand lowered to my stomach and I looked down.
 “You would wait until I got a six-pack forming to stretch
me out,” I teased, but I’d gladly trade my abs for a belly if it
meant my baby was healthy and growing.
Getting out of my Jeep, I inhaled a deep breath. My hands
shook as I took small steps toward the door. Even though I had
a key to his place, I still rang the doorbell before going inside.
For years, I envisioned this moment before giving up
completely. I had no idea how I wanted to tell Mayan I was
pregnant. It seemed fitting to do some cute shit to break the
news, but I just wanted to tell my baby we were having a baby.
We could do something cute to tell our families. For now—I
just wanted to share the news!
“Bae!” he called from upstairs.
I rounded the corner and went up the marble staircase.
There was music coming from his office, so I followed it and
found him seated with a charcoal pencil in one hand and a
sketchpad in the other. He refused to get glasses or contacts, so
he was holding the pad close to his face instead of placing it
on his desk.
Chuckling, I walked inside and made my way straight to
him.
“Why you ain’t let me know you were on your way
home?” he asked, hugging me.
“I couldn’t wait to tell you the news.”
“What news?” Mayan pulled himself back to look into my
eyes. “They shrunk?”
Going into my purse, I grabbed the ultrasound but didn’t
pull it out right away. For a few seconds, I looked his milk
chocolate colored face over. Those juicy lips and lazy eyes. I
wondered if we had a boy… if he would look like his father. If
he’d want to wear his hair nappy like his damn daddy. If he’d
draw or want to play basketball too, or if he’d carve his own
path.
My hand trembled as I covered my mouth and giggled.
With tears falling, I allowed my purse to drop.
 “Zuri… what is…”
When I lifted the ultrasound, he paused.
“I promise I didn’t lie and set you up. If I thought I’d get
pregnant I would have made you wear a condom until we
chose to have a baby. Please believe me when I say I didn’t try
to trap you.”
“Trap me?” Mayan all but snatched the ultrasound as he
stood from his seat. “You’re pregnant?”
Nodding, I took a step back. “Yes. Are you mad?”
His tongue rolled around his cheek as he stared at the
ultrasound. When his eyes met mine, they were watery.
“You’re pregnant?” All I could do was nod and fight my
tears. “Bae,” he repeated… softer this time. “Come here.”
His arm extended, hand pulling me into his chest. Mayan
held me tight, rocking me from side to side.
“You’re not mad?”
He released a hearty chuckle before wrapping my legs
around him and sitting back down. “Why would I be mad?”
“I-we… I’ve been telling you over and over again how my
relationships have been shaped by my inability to have
children, then I get pregnant while we’re on vacation. This is
still so new.”
“You know what that tells me?” Mayan pushed my hair out
of my face, covering my stomach with his hands. “It tells me
that I was made for you, and you were made for me. Whether
it took one week or ten years, we’ve done what you haven’t
been able to do with any other man. We’ve created a life that’s
growing inside of you. I—” He cleared his throat and wiped
his own tear. “I’m not mad at you.” Mayan chuckled and
kissed me sweetly. “I’m so grateful for you. And our little one
that’s growing inside of you.” He pecked my lips again.
“Thank you for sharing this life with me. I promise I’m going
to take care of you and our baby. I’m going to be by your side
every step of the way.”
 Wrapping my arms around his neck, I covered his lips with
mine. There was a slight fear of an unsuccessful delivery or
that I wouldn’t carry to full term, but I wouldn’t let that ruin
this moment for me. Eight years. That’s how long I’d waited
for this moment. It was a miracle that I’d been able to
conceive, and I had to believe God would bless me to have this
baby too. I refused to believe He’d let me get pregnant just to
take this baby for His own.
“Damn, girl!” Mayan yelled, standing and twirling me
around. “You don’ let a nigga get you pregnant. You mine for
life for real now!”
His excitement was contagious. All I could do was giggle
and hold him tight as he showered my face with kisses. What
Doctor Owens said was right—there were reasons I was
unable to conceive until this point. Maybe my fibroids were
sparing me from creating life with the wrong man. It would
have destroyed me to not give my child a proper upbringing
with two parents who loved them and each other.
I was so desperate for love and a baby that I didn’t give a
damn who I had one with. Once I released the pressure of that
desire and attachment, the suffering left. Love and the right
partner found me. I just thanked God over and over again
silently as Mayan covered me with his love. He was perfect
for me, and the baby growing inside of me was the ultimate
proof of that.
 Epilogue

M ayan
S IX M ONTHS Later

O UR BABY GIRL was proving to be impatient… just like her

damn mama. She was coming earlier than we expected but we
were prepared. Thankfully, Skyler agreed to move to Hibiscus
Hills as soon as she found out Zuri was pregnant. We didn’t
tell anyone immediately. Not only did we want our families to
meet first, but Zuri wanted to make it out of her first trimester
to be safe. I respected that, though there was never a moment
where I felt like she would lose the baby. Even if she did, it
wouldn’t have changed things between us.
That just would have meant God decided we needed more
time to love on ourselves and each other before focusing on
someone else.
As I focused on trying to keep my big baby calm, Skyler
had both our phones to keep in touch with our families. Mine
would be here soon, and Zuri’s folks were on the way. They’d
already had bags packed for this moment, and I loved how
supportive they’d been throughout her entire pregnancy.
Skyler ended up moving into Zuri’s apartment, and Zuri
moved in with me. I genuinely wanted to be there for the both
of them as soon as she gave birth to our baby girl. We were
going to get married, so there was no reason for us to be living
separately anyway.
For the bulk of her second trimester, Zuri focused on
getting things ready for the baby around the house and getting
a small team in place to run her business while she was on
maternity leave. Though she still matched the couples for
blind dates, her assistants put the dates together. She’d
temporarily taken a break from photography, but I was sure
she would pick it back up soon. The pictures she’d done
during the trip for Dru and Tasia were bomb as hell, and it
inspired a lot of couples to do the same thing and seek to hire
Zuri as well.
I wanted her to agree to taking the first year of our
daughter’s life off from working full time, but we
compromised on her working two hours a day from home
three days out of the week when she turned six months.
Money was never going to be an issue for us, so she’d be able
to do whatever she loved. Right now, her focus was being a
mother, but she didn’t want to lose herself in our baby or our
love. Even if that wasn’t her mentality, I wouldn’t have let that
happen. We would always be individuals within our
partnership.
“Mayan,” she cried, squeezing my hand tighter.
“Yeah, bae?” I kissed her sweaty forehead. “You look so
beautiful right now. And you’re doing so well.”
“I change my mind. I don’t want to have this baby
anymore.”
If she wasn’t crying so hard, I would have laughed. “Zuri,
it’s a little too late for that.”
“But it hurts!”
Between her expression and the increased beeping in the
background, I quickly realized shit was getting serious. I
didn’t want her blood pressure rising and causing
complications, so I knew I had to do something.
“Daddy, can you keep mommy calm for me? It’s almost
time to push again.”
 Nodding at her doctor, I cupped Zuri’s cheek and tried to
get her to focus on me instead of the pain.
“I need you to have our baby so I can ask you to be my
wife.”
That shut her ass up instantly. Her eyes opened and she
looked into mine as her head tilted. “What did you say?”
Smiling, I kissed her forehead again. I’d learned my lesson
trying to kiss her lips. She mushed me away hard as hell and
told me that was the reason she was in so much pain now.
“I said I need you to have this baby so I can ask you to be
my wife. I planned to propose to you tonight at dinner, but
your water broke. I don’t want one moment to outshine the
other, so I need baby girl to make her arrival ASAP so I can
get back to my regularly scheduled program.”
“Mayan,” she whined, blinking back her tears. “Really?” I
nodded. “Where’s my ring?”
I laughed and shook my head. “It’s in my pocket. But you
can’t see it unless you push, okay?”
Nodding, she looked back down at Doctor Owens.
“Okay, Zuri. You’re almost there. I need three big pushes
so you can see your baby girl. Are you ready?”
She inhaled a deep breath and closed her eyes as her head
flung back. “Yes,” she agreed, biting down on her bottom lip.
“On the count of three I need you to give me a really big
push, okay?”
Nodding, Zuri leaned forward slightly, and I silently
prayed for her strength and that she didn’t break my damn
hand. As the doctor counted, I found myself watching Zuri in
awe. In a matter of minutes, maybe even seconds, our baby
was going to be here. The baby she didn’t think she’d ever
have. The baby she’d carried and nurtured for months. The
baby that was half of me and half of her… our legacy that
would roam the earth and show us a reflection of ourselves for
the rest of our lives.
 At the sound of a shrill cry, everything else went silent. I
felt someone grip my shoulder, but I couldn’t focus on
anything but the tiny baby that was being held in the air. A
nurse tried to hand me scissors to cut the umbilical cord, but I
didn’t give a fuck about that shit. Standing, I covered Zuri’s
face with kisses as she held me close until our baby girl was
placed on her chest.
“Hey, pretty girl,” Zuri greeted before kissing her
forehead. “Happy birthday, Evangeline.”
Evangeline.
As soon as we saw that name and what it meant we knew it
was the one.
Evangeline stared at her mother with big, bright eyes.
Like she knew what all Zuri had endured to bring her into
this world.
Like she knew what her name meant. What she meant—to
us.
Evangeline.
The bearer of good news. Of hope. Of love. Of faith. And
new starts. Finding forever when it was least expected.
Our Evangeline.
“I need… my camera. I need to take pictures of her,” Zuri
requested, running her hand down the bridge of Evangeline’s
nose.
I promised to get her camera after I held her for a second
before they cleaned her up. They needed to get her weight and
shit, but I just needed to hold her for one second. I needed to
know that she was real. That this moment was real. That she
was really our little miracle.
After brushing my nose against hers, I kissed her forehead
then handed her to the nurse.
“Thank you,” I whispered before kissing Zuri. “She’s
absolutely beautiful, just like you.”
 “I can’t believe she’s here. And she’s ours.” Zuri chuckled
before laying back. I could tell by her eyes that she was tired
and in need of rest.
Pulling the black ring box out of my pocket, I opened it
and pulled the pear-shaped diamond ring out. This wasn’t the
perfect moment, but at the same time… it was. Nothing about
us had been conventional, and my proposal shouldn’t be either.
As I slid the ring onto her finger, Zuri looked from her hand to
my face.
“You were serious?”
“Very.”
Chuckling, I lifted her hand and kissed it. “I love you so
much, Zuri. You have never been more beautiful to me than
you are right now. I’ve never felt more like yours than I do
right now. The only way this day can get any better is if you
agree to be my wife. Will you marry me, bae?”
Nodding, Zuri sniffled as tears flew from her eyes.
“I love you too, Mayan,” she reminded, though Zuri had
just delivered the ultimate proof of her love for me. “Of
course, baby, yes.”
She pulled me down to her, holding me weakly.
Her lips trembled as we kissed.
She needed her strength.
That was fine.
I would let her rest.
We literally had the rest of our lives…
The End

Ah. I hope you enjoyed this journey into Hibiscus Hills. There
are a LOT more stories from new characters to come! Skyler
will have one, but she isn’t up next. If you enjoyed this read,
please leave a review on Amazon/Goodreads and recommend
it to a friend.
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