A Talk

I get the 7 pm bus daily while returning

from my office. Every day I feel that I
shall complete my tasks on time and

leave for the bus earlier but every day, every day I have to run for it.
Frankly speaking, my hairs are my favourite. Like other women, as long
as the style is not set as I want, I can’t leave the washroom. There lies
all the problem. Actually for the people who are in 9 to 10 hrs shift and
then one and half to two hours journey regularly, for them office,
travelling in bus, colleagues, co passengers, a cup of tea at a break,
favourite snacks stall, evening breeze and romantic hindi songs in FM
radio become life. I am not exceptional. We have the same routine.
Getting the morning 8.30 bus for office and returning by 7pm bus. We
mean myself, Sahara, Rinki and Nikhilesh. Myself and Sahara are in
same office. Rinki is little younger, she works in Fords showroom and
Nikhilesh is in Technospace. Whether we can get a seat or stand, we
keep chitchatting as long as we travel. That’s how we get refresh from
tiredness, team leaders’ invisible torture and stress.
As usual, that day I was running for the bus. Rinki was at the window
and Nikhilesh at the gate. Holding Nikhilesh’s extended hand finally I
could manage to get the bus. Generally, Sahara keeps reminding me
but that day she was absent. So I was late. There was tremendous
thunderstorm and rain outside. Huge traffic jam on the way. Lovely
melodious hindi songs in FM radio. We were enjoying potato chips and
chitchatting. After Rinki got down at her stop. The bus slowed down
further due to traffic. Hence we, myself and Nikhilesh decided to walk.
Knee length water stagnant on the street, almost dark way as the street
lights slept. We decided to take the peaceful shortcuts than crowded
roads.
After a little bit of silence, Nikhilesh started “you know, I proposed my
girlfriend in such a romantic rainy evening”.
Wow, what an interesting topic!
I asked “then?”
With a blushing smile he continued “while returning from college, walking
with hand in hand, under the same umbrella I told Sumi that I would
love to walk with her like this lifelong”.
Nikhilesh was in some other world as if!
I interrupted, “What did Sumi reply?”
“Sumi looked at me for a while with blushing happiness in her sight and
then shifted her eyes down” Nikhilesh resumed. “Thereafter completing
college we both joined jobs and on an auspicious day we got married.
Things were going well but with time I found that Sumi became very
much engaged in office. Even over the phone. Whenever I used to ring
her, I would be in queue. I started feeling jealous, who might be the
person with whom Sumi keeps talking all the time!! I also shared this
feeling with her. She clarified that a friend is mourned in his personal
life and that’s the reason Sumi provides him moral support. Well a
friend, rather a male friend! Keeps my wife engaged all the time.
Friendship!! Sympathy!! Empathy!! It seem unbearable to me.”
Giving a pause Nikhilesh said “I agree that friend is a great asset in life
and it’s good to provide moral support. Afterall we are all human beings
so on humanity ground it’s a duty. But how much!! Where is the limit!!
Whether night 12 or noon 1 o’clock anytime and every time you, wife of
someone can’t be freely and easily accessible to others. On my say
Sumi felt severely hurt and insulted. And that invited a breakdown
between us.”
Nikhilesh was silent. Silence was all around, only the sound of stepping
on the dark water logged street, was accompanying us. An emptiness
was shaking me from inside. I was unable to decide my response and
role. How shall I console him!! Communication, a talk, is so important in
life. Stating the right thing at the right time. I kept thinking. Due to the
shortage of time or stubbornness, we generally fail to have the talk at
the right time. We refuse to understand the other’s point or emotion.
And that’s what create a gap in between that later even with a lot of
efforts can hardly be diminished!! I was feeling restless with such
incomplete story of Nikhilesh.
I had to ask “Didn’t Sumi contact you ever?”
“Yes she did.” Nikhilesh started. “After 6-7 months. She confessed that it
was her mistake. She could not maintain the limit with her friend. She
could not realize that time that her attitude emotionally insecure me. She
said sorry as well. But…..!!” Nikhilesh stopped.
“But what Nikhilesh”, I could not resist my curiosity. “I didn’t respond
back. It’s 2 years, we are in separation. Neither I could proceed in life
alone nor I could forget her. I am living with this pain” Nikhilesh took a
deep breathe.
There is a little difference at times between ego and self-respect. Ego
makes one stubborn. But I am not a psychologist that I understand all
emotions perfectly. So it’s better not to comment, I felt. Rather, I threw
a question towards Nikhil “what’s important to you love or ego? Life or
stubbornness? What seems eternal to you?”
“Ofcourse love. A relationship, A life……(in a lower tone) with Sumi. That’s
why I coundn’t forget her yet!!” Nikhilesh almost shouted with confidence.
Smiling with gesture, I asked him to call Sumi right now. I could see a
blushing smile in Nikhil. He took the mobile out of his pocket, paused a
while, probably prayed in mind and dialed. While talking Nikhilesh
became slow in stepping. I was walking a few steps ahead, feeling a
peace, a completeness, thanking god with a deep breathe. Sirsendu
floated in my heart. Sirsendu is my husband. Last 6 months almost… we
didn’t have a good talk. Probably for time shortage, then emotions
followed by complains. All the good moments we spent together, all
those lovely smiles came in front of me on the cloudy sky and started
oozing on me with rain drops. I too dialed Sirsendu.
Talk is so important in life. A few words can make and break a
relationship. An honest talk to oneself and with the loved one can
secure an emotional bonding called “love”.