F IND ING THE

THE ME OF Y OUR
ME MOIR F EAR S THAT
S T OP Y OUR
PR OGRE SS

COMMON
MIS TAKE S IN
ME MOIRS

H OW TO
OVE RCOME
F EAR S AND
PU BLISH YOUR
WORK
 WRITING
Your Memoir
Many bestselling memoirs are written by the already-famous: Actors, business

titans, givernment officials. However, the majority of the memoirs published

every year are written by people who are not famous, perhaps not even well-

known in their community. So why do these memoirs sell?

When millions of people worldwide clamored to buy Frank McCort’s

Angela’s Ashes, it wasn’t because they had an existing interest in or relationship

with Frank McCourt.

These millions of people were not buying knowledge of Frank McCourt.

They were buying the promise of overcoming poverty and finding success.

Because you, the memoirist, are not famous, the majority of your readers

will not be “buying” you. They are buying the story you have to tell—in other

words, your theme.

POSSIBLE THEMES OF MEMOIRS

• Escaping abuse and creating a new, thriving life

• Overcoming unexpected adversity to raise a successful family

• Hiding secret pain while living a seemingly perfect life

All good memoirs center around a specific theme, a promise to the reader: “I

accomplished this. You can too.”

2
The problems of failure are
hard.

The problems of success 4.

can be harder, because

nobody warns you about
them.

— Neil Gaiman

FEARS MISTAKES
WHAT YOU ARE AFRAID OF HOW IT AFFECTS YOUR WRITING
Fear of judgment from loved ones Leaving out the truth to paint yourself in a more positive

light

Fear of strangers’ or colleagues’ opinions Sanitizing your opinions and state of mind that led you to

your choices

Fear of leaving someone out Treating your memoir like an autobiography and including

endless minutae

Fear of being judged by your past self Preaching

THE WAGES OF FEAR

The overriding fear of all new author, regardless of genre, is “Am I Good Enough?” The benefit of writing a memoir is that

the story has already been written, leaving only the pruning process. However, if left unchecked, your fears can infect your

writing to the point that your story—your message—goes unheeded by your reader.

Make yourself appear too saintly and you minimize your accomplishments and the strength of overcoming your

struggles. Gloss over your trauma and you degrade your readers who are or have gone through a similar situation. In trying

to mitigate the anger of others, you end up alienating the people who need your story the most—your core audience!

3
Let Go of Fear
Now it’s time to start writing.

• Structure your memoir like it’s fiction

• Change more than the name

• Remember nothing about you is boring

• Do not lie. Not about yourself. Not about others. If the

words are true, then they are the right words.

• Focus on your outcome. Who is this book for?

Telling a complete story and the vulnerability that comes with

it is what brings the reader into your world, allowing them to walk

in your shoes.

Where to start: NOT AT THE BEGINNING. Start off by writing

the scene you most want to write. The one that is most pivotal.

Write that scene completely as you remember it. The dialogue, your

feelings, what the other people in the room were doing and what

you assumed they were thinking.

Then ask others for their memories of that event. How did they

perceive it? What do they remember that you do not? What

perceptions did they have of you? Now add those differences to

your scene and finish it. Now…

Make a list of the events, people, and decisions that brought

you to that pivotal event. Now you’re on your way.

FREE RESOURCES

Kristin McTiernan: The Nonsense-Free Editor: For weekly writing and editing advice

Kristin-McTiernan.com: For monthly reviews and story analysis of books, movies,

and televsion shows

Join BOWS on Facebook for more events like this.

https://www.facebook.com/groups/BOWSuccess/