AT TA I N S U C C E S S &

R E TA I N P E A C E

N.Ganeshan
Copyright©N.Ganeshan

Acknowledgements

I thank all the great people, scholars and writers, whose quotes I have used in
this book.
I thank Mrs.Seethalakshmi Amma, Florida, USA who always requested and
motivated me to write a book in English.
I am grateful to my publisher and friend Mr.Yaanan, Chennai, India who
designed this book cover.
I thank my wife and daughters for their continuous support to my writing.
The greater danger for most of us lies not in
setting our aim too high and falling short; but
in setting our aim too low, and achieving our
mark.

MICHELANGELO
 INTRODUCTION

E veryone likes success and everyone wants peace. Both are indispensable
for a fulfilled life. Success provides confidence, hope, security, a sense of
well-being and the ability to contribute at a greater level. Success is what
drives us forward and adds meaning, passion and joys to life. Those that
minimize the importance of success are either confused or have given up on
their own chances of success. But many of us erroneously believe that if we
attain success, peace and fulfillment will automatically come into our life.

Each of us is taught at young age that attaining success is the most important
thing in our life. So we strive hard to attain success. We work hard to do well
in school, work hard to get into college and work hard to have a prestigious
career or a profitable business. Though we could accomplish all these things,
our satisfaction doesn’t last, because our definition of success keeps on
changing.
At one stage of life we define success as reaching financial independence, so
we strive to have enough money to live on peacefully for the rest of our life.
At another stage we define success as retiring from the stressful work or
escaping from the tension of business world. Eventually, we discover we
need to set new goals to achieve an even higher level of success to get peace
and fulfillment. We struggle hard to achieve them also. Finally we wonder
why each of this so called success failed to bring real peace in our life?

In his great book ‘The way of Peaceful Warrior’ Dan Millman illustrates this
situation well by saying, “If you don’t get what you want, you suffer; if you
get what you don’t want, you suffer; even when you get exactly what you
want, you still suffer because you can’t hold on to it forever.”

Last year, celebrated American chef, author, and television star Anthony
Bourdain committed suicide in his hotel room at the age of 61. His life was a
good success story in many aspects. Bourdain worked in the back of the
house in many restaurants before making a name for himself with his best-
selling first book, ‘Kitchen Confidential’. On the heels of that, he became a
globe-trotting chef and journalist, going to war-torn countries, tropical
paradises, and even back to the kitchens where his career started. He
overcame some early setbacks, including drug addiction, and rose to fame for
his cooking, travels, and overall observations about what being human truly
meant.
People couldn’t understand the reason for Anthony Bourdain’s suicide. He
had everything – money, fame, the opportunity to get paid to travel all over
the world. So why was he so unhappy? Maybe all wasn’t enough. Maybe he
couldn’t find peace. It was well known that he spent over 200 days a year on
the road and many of his friends in their tributes wondered if he spent so
much time working because he was running from something. Who knows,
but it does make us wonder. If he had peace, would he have done what he
did? Like him, many famous celebrities had either committed suicide or lived
in mental depression in spite of their outward successes. Why is this
happening? Why are so many people unhappy even at the top of their
careers? Why do they long for peace even after achieving so much?

We live in a world where we chase success after success. It seems great to be

rich and famous. We want to look successful. We crave the outward
appearance of it. Many of us believe that success is the next job promotion,
or the 100% raise, or the new car, or the new house, or the trip around the
world or an award. We think that it will bring fulfillment and peace. But we
are sadly mistaken. Success and achievements are very important. But they
are neither sufficient nor guarantee inner peace.

Can we have both great success and deep inner peace? Is it possible for us? If
the answer is ‘yes’, how can we achieve the seemingly impossible task? In
this book, you will find the fundamental rules to attain success along with
inner peace. Read these rules and understand the eternal wisdom behind the
rules. When you organize your life according to these rules, your life will
begin to change miraculously. You will achieve great success and at the same
time you’ll feel calm, peaceful and alive. You’ll live as if you’ve found
rhythm of your life journey and you’ll radiate peace and joy!
 RULE ONE:
Recognize and honour your
uniqueness!

Y ou are absolutely unique in this world. Never before since the

beginning of time, has there ever been anyone exactly like you. And
never again throughout all the ages to come, will there ever be anybody
exactly like you. No one who has ever lived has had your combination of
abilities, talents, appearance, friends, acquaintances, feelings, motivation and
opportunities. As Osho says, “This is the beauty and the glory of existence.”

Recognize your uniqueness. You do not have to pretend in order to seem

more like someone else. You were not meant to be like someone else. You do
not have to lie to conceal anything about yourself that you feel odd or
different. You were meant to be different. Nowhere ever in human history
will the same things be going on in anyone's mind, soul and spirit as that are
going on in yours right now. If you did not exist, there would be a hole in
creation, a gap in history, something missing from the plan for humankind.
You came into this world precisely on time. And you will leave here with the
same precision. You’re an essential piece of this complex system. Here you
are in this universe’s intelligent system that has no beginning and no end, in
which all of the galaxies move in harmony with each other. You must have
shown up here for a reason!

Kahlil Gibran said, “When you are born, your work is placed in your heart.”
It is true. You have a unique purpose in this world. Not only has God made
you, He has designed you for His special reasons. He has crafted you to carry
out a unique purpose and mission in life. So find the purpose by finding your
uniqueness. Most of our troubles result from our inability to understand and
accept our uniqueness. Learning to understand one’s self is a never ending
process. But you can achieve greatness only in that process.

George Gershwin was a struggling young composer working for 35 dollars a

week in Tin Pan Alley when he met famous composer Berlin. Berlin was
impressed by Gershwin’s ability and offered a job as his musical secretary
with 100 dollars a week. At the same time he honestly advised the young man
“But don’t take the job. If you do you may develop into a second rate Berlin.
But if you insist on being yourself, someday you’ll become a first rate
Gershwin.” Gershwin acted on the advice and he became a great American
composer and pianist of his generation. His compositions spanned both
classic and popular genres. After moving to Hollywood, he scored numerous
film scores also. Had he accepted Berlin’s offer, he would have earned extra
money in a brief period. But, he would have lost his chance of showing his
genius to the world.

Inventor and mathematician Blaise Pascal’s father did not like Pascal’s deep
interest in mathematics. He wanted him to study Greek and Latin languages.
Yet Pascal started to work on geometry himself at the age of 12, drawing the
figures with charcoal on the floor of his room. He made up his own
terminology, not having learned official mathematical terms, and quickly
managed to work out that the sum of a triangle's angles are equal to two right
angles. His father was impressed and permitted him to read the works of
ancient Greek mathematician Euclid. At age of 16 Pascal presented a number
of his early theorems, including his Mystic Hexagram. At the age of 19,
Pascal invented his machine for calculating numbers. If he had studied the
dead languages, he wouldn’t have a place in history and the world would
have lost a great mathematician.

There’s an intuitive, invisible presence that’s always with you. It’ll remind
you when you’ve lost your sense of purpose. Your invisible companion will
prod you when you’re wasting time doing what somebody else has dictated if
it’s not a part of your passion in life. You’ll always know when you’re off
purpose because of your thoughts of frustration. You might not always act on
this knowledge, though, because of noise and compulsions of the world. But
in the depth of your heart you’ll know what you are destined for. It’ll keep on
urging you to play the music that you hear so that you won’t die with it inside
you. The volume gets turned up and up, trying to get you to follow your
dream.

But the so called practical world will pull you to do what everyone is doing-
getting up every morning, going with the crowd, doing that job that brings in
the money and paying the bills; and getting up the next morning and doing it
all over again, as a well known song implies. Meanwhile, the music inside of
you fades almost to a point of being inaudible. But your constant invisible
companion always hears the music and continues its efforts to get your
attention. It may take the form of uneasiness, or feeling emptiness, or ulcer,
or being fired from a stifling job, or being brought to your knees with an
accident. If you still fail to change or reform, you’ll begin to die without
expressing the music inside you. It’ll be the greatest tragedy to happen in
anyone’s life.

In Ayn Rand’s famous novel ‘Fountainhead’ she portrays beautifully the

above concept through her two characters, Howard Roark and Peter Keating.
Her hero Howard Roark is depicted as the one, who hears his soul’s music
and lives accordingly. Though he suffers a lot because of his individuality
and integrity, he never compromises his values and he goes the hard way
alone. He remains true to the deepest core of his self till the end and achieves
greatness. But his friend Peter Keating is just the opposite character. He is a
hypocrite and conformist. To go up in the social ladder he compromises
everything including his dreams and love. He uses deceit and flattery to win
the approval of others. Though he succeeds initially, he ends up an empty and
unhappy man.

Like the character of Peter Keating, most of the people silence their music.
They betray their uniqueness. Many of them never suspect that the different
music is inside them. They end up like Tolstoy’s character Ivan Ilyich, who
anguished on his deathbed, “What if my whole life has been wrong?”

Play your own unique brand of music. Ignore what others around you think
you should be doing. As Thoreau put it, “If a man does not keep pace with
his companions, perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer. Let him
step to the music he hears, however measured or far away.” Be willing to be
different and don’t betray your music that is your life purpose. Do what your
inner voice tells you to do. Then only you’ll feel whole, complete and fulfill
your destiny. You’ll never be at peace if you don’t get that music out and let
it play. Don’t die with that music still in you.

Be the hero of your life, not somebody’s shadow. Recognize and honour your
uniqueness. What is your passion? What stirs your soul and makes you feel
like you’re totally in harmony with your life purpose? Know this for certain:
Whatever it may be, you can make a living doing it and simultaneously
provide a service for others. Being excited about life is infectious—it rubs off
on others. When you love what you do, life seems more beautiful—in fact,
the very idea of “work” dissolves. Instead, it feels more like a challenge, a
mission, or a game you play. Surely, you’ll attain great success, you’ll enjoy
every moment of your effort and you’ll feel peace and bliss throughout your
journey.
 RULE TWO:
Have clear and well defined goals!

T he first step you can take to honour your uniqueness is having clear and
well defined goal.

It is not enough to know your unique talents, passions and your heart’s
desires. You must take steps to materialize them. The first step is goal setting.
It is very important, because it turns the invisible into the visible—the
foundation for all success in life. You must clearly know the intended end
result. There should not be any confusion or vagueness. Unless you are
crystal-clear about your life purpose, mission, calling, or destiny and unless
you sincerely want to make your dream a reality, you will not act on it and
you will revert to ‘survival mode’, living day to day, just trying to get
through the day rather than living a life filled with passion, in the pursuit of
your dreams.
Zig Ziglar once remarked that people don’t tend to wander around and then
suddenly find themselves at the top of Mount Everest. Similarly those
moving aimlessly through life are unlikely to end up writing a great book or
winning a gold medal in Olympics. Almost all extraordinary people have one
thing in common: They have a clear vision for their future. It may be a new
piece of art to create, a service or product to bring to the world, a mountain to
climb, or a social cause to fight. They have well defined goals and without
losing their focus they are constantly moving toward the goals.

Many people want to enjoy their life first and settle later. They think they
have plenty of time to find their passion and purpose in their life. They wait
for some special day or special occasion for setting their goal. They slowly
forget their initial intention and start to live in ‘survival mode’. Eventually
they forget to make the majority of their decisions consciously. Not even the
crucial ones. For that they pay a very high price. In fact, these people live
what Anthony Robbins calls "The Niagara Syndrome."

He says, “Life is like a river, and most people jump on the river of life
without ever really deciding where they want to end up. So, in a short period
of time, they get caught up in the current: current events, current fears, and
current challenges. When they come to forks in the river, they don't
consciously decide where they want to go, or which is the right direction for
them. They merely "go with the flow." They become a part of the mass of
people who are directed by the environment instead of their own values. As a
result, they feel out of control. They remain in this unconscious state until
one day the sound of the raging water awakens them, and they discover that
they're five feet from Niagara Falls in a boat with no oars. At this point, they
say, "Oh, shoot!" But by then it's too late. They're going to take a fall.
Sometimes it's an emotional fall. Sometimes it's a physical fall. Sometimes
it's a financial fall. It's likely that whatever challenges you have in your life
currently could have been avoided by some better decisions upstream.”

So, never be at the mercy of your circumstances. Be the creator of your life,
not the helpless spectator. Plan your life and set clear and well defined goal.
Your goal should make you feel good — uplifted, expanded, full of pleasure,
challenged. If not, find ones that do! While setting the goal take extra care to
make sure that it is your soul’s real desire and it is not against your values
and principles. Life is too short to spend it messing with things you don't
really want, just to live up to someone else's expectations. And if you have to
compromise your values to attain the success, you won’t be happy and
peaceful in the end even if the entire world applauds your success.

After carefully setting your goal, break the overall goal into a series of sub-
goals and thereby create a step-by-step process. Make sure that they are
concrete, measurable, and time-based. This helps to remove the confusion
and hesitation in later stage. This kind of clear and detailed goal setting is
about something more profound than creating change. It's about managing
change, and putting your future completely in your control.

If you have more than one goal they must be in harmony with one another,
and not contradictory. You cannot have a goal to be financially successful, or
to build your own successful business, and simultaneously have a goal to
spend half your day at recreation club or in front of television. Your goals
have to be mutually supportive and mutually reinforcing.

Your goal should be big enough and grand enough to challenge you to push
beyond your limits and discover your true potential. But it is important that
your sub-goals be realistic, especially at first. Many people set goals that are
far beyond their capacity to achieve, work at them for a little while, and then
quit. They become discouraged and conclude that goal setting doesn't work
for them. The primary reason this happens is, that they have tried to do too
much too fast. If your goal is big, you should have more patience and
persistence. Otherwise you’ll be one among the ‘quits’.

If you have set your life goal carefully based on your uniqueness and values,
eventually you’ll reach the point in your own mind where you know beyond
the shadow of a doubt that you can accomplish the goal you set for yourself.
From that point on, you are a different person. You are the master of your
fate. You’ll be beginning to feel the thrill of achievement, confidence of
overcoming adversity and a sense of pleasure and excitement that can come
from no other source.

Then naturally you will create and maintain a positive mental attitude every
moment. If you continue to do the right things in the right way, you will
eventually attract to yourself the people and the resources you need to reach
your goal, right on schedule. Believe me, when you fully commit to your
dream goal and start acting boldly in its pursuit, the entire universe will
conspire to help your dream goal becomes a reality.
 RULE THREE:
Have Positive Thoughts and Beliefs!

Y our thoughts are the source of virtually everything in your life. So, if
you want success, prosperity and peace you must have positive
thoughts and beliefs.

James Allen says in ‘As a man thinketh’, “Man is made or unmade by

himself; in the armory of thought he forges the weapons by which he destroys
himself. He also fashions the tools with which he builds for himself heavenly
mansions of joy and strength and peace. By the right choice and true
application of thought, man ascends to the Divine Perfection; by the abuse
and wrong application of thought, he descends below the level of the beast.”

“Just as a gardener cultivates his plot, keeping it free from weeds, and
growing the flowers and fruits which he requires, so may a man tend the
garden of his mind, weeding out all the wrong, useless, and impure thoughts,
and cultivating toward perfection the flowers and fruits of right, useful, and
pure thoughts, By pursuing this process, a man sooner or later discovers that
he is the master gardener of his soul, the director of his life. He also reveals,
within himself, the laws of thought, and understands with ever-increasing
accuracy, how the thought forces and mind elements operate in the shaping of
his character, circumstances, and destiny.”

Since our character, circumstances and destiny are decided by our thoughts
we must consciously plant positive thought seeds in our mind garden. If we
fail to do so, we'll end up with weeds. Weeds are automatic; we don't have to
cultivate them. So, we can’t afford to be careless in this matter. Moreover,
thoughts are always followed with feelings. Together they are capable of
creating everything in our life journey.

Buddha said, "What we are today comes from thoughts of yesterday, and our
present thoughts build our life of tomorrow: our life is the creation of our
mind."

Moreover your thoughts are a form of energy. You get back what you put out
into the world. Thus, what you’ve attracted to you is what you have given
away to others. Negative thoughts attract negative energy. If you entertain
negative thoughts like hatred, shame, guilt, and fear, they’ll not only weaken
you, but also they’ll attract more of the same! Negative thoughts will also
attract doubt and weakness, which will cause you to experience monotony
and drudgery in your efforts. The only remedy to end the circulation of
negative thoughts and negative energy is to switch over to positive thoughts.

By changing your inner thoughts to the positive frequencies of love,

acceptance, harmony, kindness, peace, and joy, you’ll attract more of the
same, and you’ll have those higher energies to give away. Then you’re in a
state of inner bliss where serenity replaces fighting, reverence for all of life
substitutes for craving and anxiety, and understanding supplants scorn. You
become an optimist. Rather than seeing the glass as half empty, you’ll see it
always half full. All of this is nothing more than a conscious decision on your
part to be in charge of your thinking. You can make the world beautiful and
hopeful by your positive thoughts and positive approach.

Dennis Merritt Jones beautifully said, “Your life is your garden; keep the
weeds out because that is one way in which you can personally beautify our
world. You owe that much to yourself and to those who receive the benefit of
the seeds you drop along the way.”

You always have a choice about the thoughts you allow into your mind. No
one else can put a thought there. Regardless of the circumstances you find
yourself in, it is your choice. Choose to replace disempowering, weakening
thoughts with thoughts of a higher positive frequency. Don’t say that it can’t
be done or it’s easier said than done. Your mind is your responsibility to
control. You are the creator and selector of your thoughts. You can change
them at will. All you need is constant vigil.

Your beliefs are also very important in deciding your destiny. Once your
subconscious mind has accepted a belief whether it is true or not, it will
continually feed thoughts to support that belief. It will magnify any incidents
that support this belief, and will ignore or dismiss incidents which indicate
the opposite. Your mind will distort your perception of reality to make it
conform to your beliefs. On the other hand, if you believe that you are a
winner, or that there's money to be made everywhere—if you believe in your
own vibrant health—you'll find yourself surrounded by equally strong
evidence supporting those beliefs.

There's an old Zen parable about an innocent peasant who was sent to visit
his master's house. The master brought him into the study and offered him
some soup, but just as the peasant was about to drink it, he noticed a small
snake in his bowl. Not wanting to offend his master he drank it anyway, and
within a day fell so ill that he was brought back to the master’s house.

The master again took him into his study, prepared some medicine in a small
bowl and he gave to the peasant. Just as the peasant was about to drink the
medicine, he noticed another snake in the bowl. This time he pointed it out
and loudly complained that this was the reason he was sick in the first place.
Roaring with laughter, the master pointed to the ceiling where a large bow
was hanging. "It is just the reflection of the bow you are seeing," he said.
"There is no snake at all."

The peasant looked again carefully and, sure enough, there was no snake in
his bowl, only a reflection. He left the house without taking the medicine and
regained his health within the day. When we accept limitations about
ourselves and our world, we have swallowed imaginary mental snakes. And
they are always real until we find out otherwise.

The truth emphasized in this zen story is supported by a set of experiments

conducted by Jerome Frank, an authority on the placebo effect, you can
clearly see how what you believe affects what happens to you. In Frank's
experiments, test patients were given one of three different substances: a very
mild pain-killer, a harmless but ineffective placebo, and a heavy dose of
morphine.

When patients were given useless placebos but were told they were getting
morphine, two-thirds reported their pain disappeared.

When patients were given morphine but told they were getting a very mild
pain-killer, over half said they still had pain.

And when patients were given a harmless placebo which they had been told
caused headaches in previous experiments, three-quarters of them developed
headaches!

These experiments show that whatever the patients believed was happening,
seems to have been more important than what was actually happening.

So, beware of your beliefs. Challenge yourself to create new, more positive
beliefs even if on the surface you don't believe them. Remind yourself that
you can voluntarily plant in your subconscious mind any thought, idea or
belief you desire, and your subconscious mind will accept it, provided it is
introduced with feeling and reinforced through repetition. When new beliefs
are accepted by your subconscious mind whole new realities will open up.
 RULE FOUR:
Come out of your Comfort Zone!

C omfort zone is a behavioural space where your activities and behaviours

fit a routine and pattern that minimizes stress and risk. It provides a state
of mental security. In comfort zone you’ll feel low anxiety, and reduced
stress. Routines can be stable and comforting, but they can also turn stale and
confining over time. A great enemy of your potential for grand success and
achievement is your comfort zone, your tendency to get stuck in a rut and
then to resist all changes including the necessary positive changes to reach
your dream goal.

As Neale Donald Walsch observed, “Life begins at the end of your comfort
zone.” Only when you stop letting fears and anxiety hold you back, will you
start to make those major breakthroughs in life. A major difference between
great achievers and average people is that superior men and women are
always stretching themselves, pushing themselves out of their comfort zones.
They know very well how quickly the comfort zone, in any area, becomes a
rut. They understand that complacency is the great enemy of creativity and
future possibilities.

Average people expect their dreams and goals to fall on their lap. They are
not willing to inconvenience themselves for their dreams. They hesitate to do
anything outside their comfort zone to reach their goals. They don’t standup
for anything, they don’t commit to anything and they just drift through life.
They are not willing to do what successful people are willing to do.
Consequently, they don’t live life, they merely exist and they just take up
space. That’s why they remain average throughout their life.

Abraham Maslow said, “One can choose to go back toward safety or forward
toward growth. Growth must be chosen again and again; fear must be
overcome again and again.”

After setting your goal your progress is all about moving from one stage to
next stage of development. For that you have to step out yourself. So long as
you’re sitting within your comfort zone, you’re not growing or developing
because you’re not moving. Growing is nothing but becoming more than you
are now, and the only way you’ll ever be able to become more than you are,
is by experiencing what is outside of you. You have to be willing to face
your fears and do some things that are very uncomfortable. You have to be
willing to do the things average people are not willing to do. You see, success
is not about aptitude. It’s about attitude. It’s about having the attitude that you
are willing to do whatever it takes to get the job done.

You may fear the disapproval of others. Take that risk and you’ll discover
that you receive more approval when you don’t seek it than when you do.
You may fear the unknown. Take that risk as well. Wander in there, asking
yourself, “What is the worst thing that can happen if this doesn’t work out?”
The truth is that you will just move beyond it. You’re not going to starve to
death or be tortured if it doesn’t work out.

Fear of failure may stop you from coming out of comfort zone. But actually
failure is an illusion. No one ever fails at anything. Everything you do
produces a result. That’s all. If you’re trying to do a new thing but couldn’t
do it successfully, you haven’t failed. You have simply produced a result.
The real question is what you do with the results that you produce. Do you
learn to do better and better or you leave the field? You may stumble, but
that’s OK. In fact, it’s the only way you’ll ever learn, especially if you can
appreciate that missteps are an inevitable — and in fact essential — part of
the learning process. In the end, you’ll be pleased at having given yourself
the opportunity to grow, learn, and expand your capacity.

Greater success and progress are possible for you only when you are willing
to feel awkward and uncomfortable during the process of crossing your
comfort zone to try new things. Beware the siren song of old habits of the
comfort zone, luring you to stay where you are, holding you back from all the
great things that are possible for you. You must consciously and deliberately
counter the pull of the comfort zone as you move upward and onward toward
ever higher levels of accomplishment.

The music you hear inside of you, urging you to take risks and follow your
dreams, is your intuitive connection to the purpose in your heart since birth.
Never neglect that and be passionate about all that you do. The passion that
you feel is your soul beckoning you to take the risk and be your own person.
You’ll realize that perceived risks are not risky at all once you transcend your
fears and let love and self-respect in. When you produce a result that others
laugh at, you’re also stirred to laughter. When the laughter dies, you
would’ve crossed the hurdle.

Sometimes staying inside the comfort zone may seem to you very peaceful.
No anxiety. No discomfort. It may seem to be the safest situation. But if you
stay there forever, you’ll not feel the peace on your deathbed. When you look
back your heart will be filled with great remorse and regret. You’ll realize
that you have missed so many opportunities and you are dying with your
unsung music. As the poet John Greenleaf Whittier wrote “For of all sad
words of tongue or pen, the saddest are these: It might have been!”
Don’t live with regrets and don’t live an average life. Be the best you can be
and get out of your comfort zone as quickly as possible! Leaving your
comfort zone isn’t easy. In fact, in can be downright terrifying at times, and
that’s okay. It’s perfectly normal to feel fear and anxiety when you’re
embarking on a journey that forces you to try new things. So, don’t freak out
or get overwhelmed when you feel yourself getting a little scared. It’s
perfectly normal and natural part of the process. What’s important is that you
don’t let that fear hold you back. You must continue to take action in the face
of fear. Never stop expanding your comfort zone. That’s what separates
winners from losers.
 RULE FIVE:
Use Power of Visualization!

V isualization is simply mental rehearsal. In your mind you create images

of your having or doing whatever you want. In your mind you
constantly run a mental movie of what you wish to achieve. You repeat these
images over and over again. The more detail you can envision, the more
power you’ll have as a co-creator. You’ll achieve the visualized goal sooner
or later. It is not just a mental fantasy. Science has accepted the extraordinary
power of visualization and we have numerous real life examples to prove it.

Visualization, where one mentally rehearses the ideal performance in his

mind over and over before the actual event, should be a tool in the success
arsenal of every peak performer. In 1954, Roger Bannister did what many
people thought no human could ever do. He broke the four minute-a mile
barrier. When asked how he did this, he replied that he simply ran the perfect
race over and over on the movie screen of his mind before he ran it in reality.
Over the past three decades, visualization — also referred to as imagery or
mental rehearsal — has grown in the sports arena and is now commonplace
in many Olympic disciplines. Richard Suinn is an esteemed sports
psychologist who first began working with Olympic athletes in 1972 and has
been a proponent of visualization techniques for years. He studied downhill
skiers and found that when he asked them to simply imagine skiing, the brain
sent electrical signals comparable to when the athlete was actually skiing, and
the muscles reacted similarly as well.

Chris Poellein was a member of the world-renowned West German freestyle

ski team that won the European Cup six times between 1976 and 1982. "Part
of our training program involved working with a psychologist to increase the
power of our minds. After training on the slopes we were placed in a state of
meditation and encouraged to totally repeat the slope runs in our minds,
visualizing each bump and movement of the routine. We worked as hard
training mentally as we did physically. Excellence in athletics—or indeed any
endeavor—depends primarily on having a clear mental picture of that
activity."

Diver Troy Dumais, a four-time Olympian, said athletes can use the
techniques to zero in on the specific moment and task awaiting them. They
might concentrate on their breathing as they block out the crowd, the
television cameras and the stakes. Then it’s just the diver standing above the
water, separated by only a series of artful twists and flips.

Other studies have found that visualization exercises also trigger responses
from the autonomic nervous system, and there’s been plenty of research to
show the practical impact these techniques have on performance. Tennis ace
Andre Agassi is a master at the art of visualization as is golf legend Jack
Nicklaus, soccer superstar Pele and Olympic gold medalist Bruce Jenner.

"It's all in the mind," says Arnold Schwarzenegger, a multimillionaire,

successful real estate tycoon, movie star, body-builder, five-time winner of
the Mr. Universe title, Arnold has it made. But it wasn't always so. Arnold
can remember back when he had nothing except a belief that his mind was
the key to getting where he wanted to go.

"When I was very young, I visualized myself being and having what it was I
wanted. Mentally I never had any doubts about it. The mind is really so
incredible. Before I won my first Mr. Universe, I walked around the
tournament like I owned it. The title was already mine. I had won it so many
times in my mind that there was no doubt I would win it. Then when I moved
on to the movies, the same thing. I visualized myself being a successful actor
and earning big money. I could feel and taste success. I just knew it would all
happen."
These examples clearly demonstrate the power of visualization in achieving
the difficult dreams goals. Since these successful people reached their
extraordinary goals using the sub-conscious mind’s powerful tool of
visualization, you can also use it to achieve your goal. The visualizing
method is very simple:

Get in a comfortable position, either sitting or lying down, in a quiet place

where you won’t be disturbed. Relax your body completely. Starting from
your toes and moving up to your scalp, think of relaxing each muscle in your
body in turn, letting all tension flow out of your body. Breathe deeply and
slowly, from your belly. Count down slowly from ten to one, feeling yourself
getting more deeply relaxed with each count.

When you feel deeply relaxed, start to imagine the thing you want exactly as
you would like it. If it is an object, imagine yourself with the object, using it,
admiring it, enjoying it, and showing it to friends. If it is a situation or event,
imagine yourself there and everything happening just as you want it to. You
may imagine what people are saying, or any details that make it more real to
you.

There are two conditions for the success and effectiveness of visualisation.
First, always visualize your goal as if it's actually happening to you right
now. Make it real in your mind; make it detailed. Enter the role and become it
in your mind. Second, visualize your goal at least once a day, each and every
day. There is power in repetition. Any thought put into your mind, and
nourished regularly, will produce results in your life.

When you combine the elements of frequency, vividness, intensity and

duration with your visualization of anything you want to be, to have or to do
in the future, you actually supercharge yourself and accelerate your
movement toward it. You unleash your hidden powers to succeed and tap
resources that enable you to accomplish things beyond anything you've ever
done before.

If you have a mental picture of yourself as fit and healthy, in a slim, trim
body, and you visualize that picture over and over, your subconscious mind
will gradually begin to adjust your appetite, your metabolism and your desire
for exercise and healthy living. The excess weight will fall off and stay off.
You will be "thinking thin," and it is the only known method for permanent
weight loss that seems to work.

All improvement in your life begins with an improvement in your mental

pictures. Your mental pictures trigger thoughts, feelings, words and actions
consistent with them. Visualization activates all the mental laws, including
the Law of Attraction, drawing people and resources into your life to help
translate your images into your realities.
 RULE SIX:
Be Committed and Disciplined!

Y our motivation levels often ebb and flow as you pursue your goal. At
certain times you will feel extremely motivated, while at other times
you will struggle to get through specific tasks and activities that are necessary
for you to reach your goal. It is very natural. Your mind may declare war any
moment. In the absence of motivation it may want everything that distracts
you from your chosen path. You need not surrender to the situation because
of your wavering motivation. When your motivation is waning, you may use
the tools of commitment and self discipline.

Personal commitment is extremely important to remain motivated when you

feel discouraged. Many times, this is what makes the difference between
people who achieve their goals and people who stray away from their
purpose. Commitment to goal is taking ownership and responsibility of your
life.
Elbert Hubbard defined self discipline as, "The ability to make yourself do
what you should do, when you should do it, whether you feel like it or not."
Self-discipline isn’t something that you are naturally born with. It’s rather
something that you learn to develop over many years. In fact, it’s very much
like a muscle that strengthens as you exercise it over time.

Commitment and self disciple will make you do necessary things even if you
really don’t feel like doing. They know when to say ‘No’. They’ll persuade
you to sacrifice ‘play time’ for ‘work time’. They’ll make you stay on the
path when you want to give up because that would be the easiest thing in the
world to do. They’ll proactively train yourself to follow a specific set of
rules and standards that help you shape and align your thoughts and
behaviour to the goal you have chosen.

Great achievers are always willing to pay the price of their success. They're
willing to make sacrifices for their dreams. Instead of partying with their
friends, they spend hours practicing, studying, and preparing. They give up
pleasure and entertainment and face their fears and doubts. They do whatever
it takes. It’s all being done, only because of their commitment and self
discipline.

A lot of people believe that achieving what you want is a matter of luck,
talent, or genetic predisposing. They say so many things –
“High achievers simply got lucky.”

“They were born that way.”

“They’re different from the rest of us. They have something we don’t have,
that magical “it” makes all the difference.”

This flawed idea is drilled into our minds by the media day in and day out.
The success stories we read conveniently skip the parts where the great
achievers put in endless hours of hard work, made hundreds of sacrifices,
pushed through agony, pain, disappointment, and the like. All we see is the
standout performance, the shiny end result, the top-of-the-mountain
celebrations, and then we proclaim, “Oh, wonderful! What an incredible
talent. He was always destined to make that happen. What a natural!”

The truth is, achievement in any domain is not luck or mere talent. It is
largely the result of hard work, commitment, perseverance, and sacrifice. If
you want to get the body you’ve always wanted, drive the car you put on that
vision board, move up the career ladder, win a Olympic medal or an Oscar
award, make a lot of money, or become the confident, compassionate, and
loving person you’re envisioning, the recipe to get there is good old-
fashioned work ethic and discipline.

When Michael Phelps was training for the Olympics, he swam seven days a
week, covering between 70,000 and 100,000 yards a week. He gives a
glimpse of just how hard he worked in his book, No Limits: “For five years,
from 1998 to 2003, I did not believe in days off. I had one because of a
snowstorm, two more due to the removal of wisdom teeth. Christmas? See
you at the pool. Thanksgiving? Pool. Birthdays? Pool. Sponsor obligations?
Work them out around practice time.” That commitment and discipline made
him the most decorated Olympian in history with 28 Olympic medals.

The power of your commitment and self discipline is determined by your

values and standards. You must live by your principles even when it "rains
on your parade," and no one gives you the support you need. The only way
for you to have long term happiness is to live by your highest ideals, to
consistently act in accordance with what you believe your life is truly about.

Remember that your values, whatever they are, are the compass that is
guiding you to your ultimate destiny. They are creating your life path by
guiding you to make certain decisions and take certain actions consistently.
Not using your internal compass intelligently results in frustration,
disappointment, lack of fulfillment, and a nagging sense that life could be
better if only somehow, something were different. On the other hand, there's
an unbelievable power in living your values: a sense of certainty, an inner
peace, a total congruency that few people ever experience.
Whenever you live by your highest standards, whenever you fulfill and meet
your values, you feel immense joy. You don't need the excess food or drink.
You don't need to put yourselves into a stupor, because life itself becomes so
incredibly rich without these excesses. Distracting yourselves from such
incredible heights would be like taking sleeping pills on your wedding night.

Nothing will ever change if you don´t change what you do daily. So by
willing yourself to assert a little more self-discipline each day—by saying no
to things that conflict with your goals and by taking the necessary actions to
advance toward those goals—you will not only grow greater self-discipline,
but also increase forward momentum, develop more self-confidence, and feel
the unique pleasure of total commitment to a goal. The more you discipline
yourself to working non-stop on a single task, the more you move up the
"Efficiency Curve." You get more and more high quality work done in less
and less time.
 RULE SEVEN:
Manage Your Time Well!

O ur dreams have no expiry, but we have. Learning has no end, but our
life has. All of us know that our lives are brief, but no one knows how
brief his life will be. We don’t know how little of it remains, whether several
years, or a year, or only a month, a week, or a day. The clock is ticking but
we do not know when our death alarm will sound. This is why the advice to
live every day as if it were your last has stood the test of time. Time is
precious because it is a one-time-use commodity. If you are standing on the
bank of a river, the water flow which has passed in front of you, that
particular flow will never pass again in your lifetime. So before it is too late,
we must learn to fully utilize the present time to achieve our dreams.

Sometimes time flies, sometimes it crawls. Most of the time we never seem
to get enough of it. If you are like most people today, you are overwhelmed
with too much to do and too little time. As you struggle to catch up, new
tasks and responsibilities just keep rolling in, like the waves of the ocean.
Because of this, you will never be able to do everything you have to do. You
will never catch up. You will always be behind in some of your tasks and
responsibilities, and probably in many of them.

The way you spend your time defines who you are. The way you spend your
time also indicates the speed and progress of your life journey towards your
dream goal. Though there is never enough time to do everything, you can
take maximum advantage of your time. Time keeps on moving forward and
there’s nothing you can do about it. But you can decide how you are going to
use the limited available time. Let us see some simple and efficient ways to
manage time.

Plan ahead: It is much better to plan your time carefully in advance. One of
the worst things you can do is starting a day with no clear idea about what
needs to get done. While it might seem like a waste of time to take fifteen
minutes to think ahead rather than getting straight down to business, you’ll be
surprised at how much more efficient you can be just by dedicating a little
time to planning out the day. It is better to plan the day previous night itself.
The advantage of planning previous night is, your subconscious mind will
work on your task list all night long. Many times you’ll wake up in the
morning with ideas and insights that will help you during the day.

Prioritize your tasks: Stephen Covey, the co-author of “First Thing First”,
offers advice on how to work through your to-do list based on urgency and
importance. His advice is to evaluate what’s on your plate, placing each task
into one of the following buckets:

Important and urgent: If a task falls into this category, you know it must be
done right away. Focus your energy on completing your most important and
urgent tasks before moving on to less time-sensitive items.

Important but not urgent: These are important tasks but can be postponed to a
later date if necessary. They are not ‘do or die’ kind but still important to
your goal. So do these tasks after completing the earlier category.

Urgent but not important: Tasks that make the most “noise,” but when
accomplished, have little or no lasting value. But they are not avoidable.
Delegate these tasks to others if possible. Or attend these tasks after the
above two categories.

Not urgent and not important: Low-priority stuff that offers the illusion of
keeping you busy. You may simply ignore these tasks or do them last.

Write down the tasks in the above categories that must be done next day. As
you complete each one, check it off your list. This will provide you with a
sense of accomplishment and can motivate you to move down the list, so you
can also tackle less essential items in a timely fashion.
Avoid addictive self-induced interruptions: Don’t turn on your email
throughout the day. When your email is pouring in, it's easy to get distracted.
When you have your email open, those distractions interrupt your thought
flow and it's harder to get back on track. Schedule time to read and respond to
emails once or twice a day. Your Smartphone is extremely useful, but it’s
also highly addictive. It is one of the most insidious time-wasters known to
man. Incessant social media app alerts aren't helping you with your time. It's
definitely disturbing your work flow and efficiency. You don't need alerts
every moment or to know everything happening with your friends. It's not
important. What's most important is to focus on the task at hand. It may take
a massive exercise in will power, but turn off your phone to maximize utility
of your time. Instead of being “always on,” plan a break during the day to
catch up the messages, but not more than once or twice.

Don’t hesitate to say “No”: One of the most powerful of all words in
time management is the word "No!" Learn to say “No” to anything that will
keep you from achieving your goals. Say it politely and courteously. Say it
firmly so that there are no misunderstandings. Say it regularly to avoid
agreeing to something against your will. It’ll help you to realize your goals in
time.

Avoid other time wasters: You can only get your time and your life under
control to the degree to which you discontinue useless activities like idle chit
chat, meaningless social parties, excessively surfing social media, watching
senseless television serials, heated political discussions etc.

If you sincerely follow these techniques you’ll be more relaxed and

purposeful the entire day. In time account, there is no balance left unlike in
bank and karma account. So, the unutilized time is wasted time. In this short
life span, a man with a goal cannot afford to waste time. Manage and use
your time wisely and reach your goal quickly.
 RULE EIGHT:
Never Neglect Health, Family and
Friends!

W e all know that health is very important. We grow up hearing this

constantly from our parents, teachers, and doctors. But it's difficult
for most of us to follow in practice in our real life. This is especially true for
those of us with big goals, where we have the mindset that we would do
almost anything to achieve the goals. Fully concentrating on our goal, we
foolishly ignore the messages sent by our body. We fall into bad habits like
sleeping less than a few hours a day or sometimes not at all, skipping meals
or binge eating due to the stress, and spending all our time doing our work.
We don't see the immediate tangible consequences of our actions, which
encourage us to do it again and again. We abuse our bodies by our careless
habits and we don't see the symptoms of our abuse right away—and that's the
scary part about it. The problematic diseases like diabetes and heart disease
show virtually no symptoms until it is too late.
Your goal is important and your success is also important. There is nothing
wrong with being determined and dedicated to your goals. In fact, it's
probably a precursor to success. But whatever you do end up accomplishing,
none of them will be worth it if you have compromised your health in the
process. Your health is at the center of your life. Everything in your life relies
on your health.

If your health fails, it can overshadow everything else that’s going on in your
life. From relatively minor health issues such as aches and pains, lethargy,
and indigestion to major health problems that can threaten your existence,
health can really affect peace and stress levels. Only when you are free of all
ailments can you solely focus on your goals in life and work for your success.
Even if you attain success, you cannot enjoy the benefits of your success if
you are not healthy.

Health experts say that maintenance of health mainly depends upon three
factors diet, physical activity and sleep. So to recover your health and stay
healthy follow the following instructions of health experts:

Be conscious of what you eat. Timely intake of healthy foods, fruits and
vegetables and avoiding junk foods will help you to maintain good health.
Don’t skip breakfast and meals frequently.
Do physical exercises regularly. Daily engage yourself in any of these
activities at least 30 minutes - walking, jogging, running, swimming, and
yoga. Do what your body allows you to do and do it daily.

Make a commitment to get enough sleep at night. If you don’t get adequate
sleep, you’ll be less productive, less mentally sharp, and more prone to the
effects of stress. Sleep minimum seven to eight hours.

In our race to success, we may tend to neglect our family and friends also.
We may be so busy in our work that we have no time to spare for them. It is a
great mistake, because family and friends are very important in one’s life.
They are like oxygen when we want to reach the summit of any mountain.
Only they will stand by us in our times of misery and obstacles. If the whole
world misunderstands you and criticizes you, only your loved ones will stay
with you to encourage, “Don’t worry, proceed with your journey.”

Personal relationships are as vital to us as the air we breathe. All of us need

family, friends and companions with whom we can share our joys, sorrows,
fears and success. These interactions touch and nourish us at our deepest
levels. Yet often we remain distant and detached from one another, unable or
unwilling to reach out and make meaningful contact. As the saying goes, 'No
man is an island'. Sometimes everyone needs a shoulder to lean on. Studies
have shown that having supportive relationships is a strong protective factor
against mental illnesses and helps to increase our mental well-being.

So keep in touch with family, friends and loved ones on a regular basis. Make
an effort to catch up over a cup of coffee or even a simple phone call, to ask
them about how they are getting on. Show appreciation for your loved ones
from time to time, to remind them of how important they are to you. Very
often, a simple 'How are you?' or 'I'm glad that you are in my life' note shows
that you care and value them. They will be able to feel your concern and
sincerity from the time you spend with them. Read more about how you can
zest up your family life and to make new friends and maintain good
relationships.

By putting in time and effort to maintain your relationships, you will enjoy
the positive returns from the strong connections you have with the people in
your life. Psychologists suggest making ‘family time’ for talking, listening,
accepting differences, showing affection and encouragement, sharing chores,
keeping in touch, and making time for each other.

Not everybody is born into a family they love and adore.

For those people there are still ways to feel wholly loved and have a sense of
belonging. They can choose to make good friends and surround themselves
with true and loving relationships at any stage of life.
Peace is possible only when your life is whole and complete in all aspects. If
your health is lost, all your talents and passion are not sufficient to achieve
fully in your life. It can affect some capacities, halt some undertakings and
stop the journey any moment without warning. If loving people are not
around you in your joys and sorrows, the weight of loneliness will be too
much to bear. So never neglect your health and loved ones.
 RULE NINE:
Trust Your Inner Voice and Signals!

M ostly you are directed by the external world. Your decisions are
governed by the external elements that bombard your senses. These
could be your friends, colleagues, relatives, teachers, superiors, books,
television, radio, news, the internet, etc. It is fine to open yourself to these
external elements, but not to the extent that you only hear the outside noise
and cannot hear your own inner voice. Society has trained you to
automatically deny, ignore, or discount your intuitive feelings to the point
where you don’t even know you have them. So you need to retrain yourself to
recognize and pay attention to your inner promptings.

Steve Jobs said aptly, “Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone
else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma – which is living with the results of
other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out
your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your
heart and intuition.”
The pressures of modern life tend to move people further and further from the
natural cycles and rhythms of the Earth. Many of you get up when the alarm
clock rings; you go to bed after watching your favourite TV serial or
browsing internet till midnight. Your life is structured according to what you
think needs to be done, not according to your sensitivity to body’s natural
rhythm. Though you may be separated, you are still part of the Earth. You
need to acknowledge that and try to live in accordance with the natural
rhythm.

Don’t forget that your body is a wonderful communicator. It lets you know
what it needs. Cultivate the art and practice of feeling, sensing, and listening
to what your body is saying. As you learn to respond to your body’s needs,
you gradually become attuned to your own natural rhythms and to those of
the Earth.

Listening for your inner voice is like training a new muscle. It won’t happen
overnight, but if you make consistent efforts to hone it, the stronger it will
become—like a tuner tuning into the right frequency. During this process,
you will learn more about yourself and it will be a game changer. Just like
with any new venture, it helps to prepare yourself and it also lets your
subconscious mind know that you are truly ready to make changes. With all
the external noise and internal conflict, how do we listen to our inner
wisdom?
Examine your life regularly. Often your life becomes derailed from the track
you set it on, and as a result you don’t realize where your life is going until
you really examine it. Otherwise your life will be so caught up in a routine
that you don’t even realize you can change it. Regular self reflection will
help you to change. So set a separate time for self reflection and think about
how your life is going, how you’re spending your time, and decide whether
you need to make changes. Then schedule time to make those changes, or
make the changes right away if possible.

Throughout the day, pause and notice your gut feelings about things. Try to
be aware of your thoughts, feelings, and experiences related to your life.
Practice following any intuitive impulses or gut feelings you have, and notice
how things work out. If things don’t seem to be working out, it may be
because you are not yet fully attuned with your inner guidance. You may be
following other feelings instead.

The best indication that you are in tune with your inner truth is that you feel
more alive as a result. Slowly you will begin to discover a sense of peace and
clarity in following your intuitive sense. If you continue your experiment,
after some period you’ll reach a stage wherein you feel like “being in the
flow,” or “being centered” or “living in bliss.”

In Malcolm Gladwell’s “Blink: The Power of Thinking Without Thinking”,

he explores the inner processes of intuition and instinct, examining how we
make snap decisions and judgments. He has given numerous examples of
people having a hunch, feeling or intuition and how, while there was no hard
evidence to back them up at first, science and data eventually backed up what
they knew to be true.

You can either act based upon these hunches and feelings or let them float by.
The choice is always in your hand. When you let your mind override these
feelings, discounting them as silly, childish, or impossible, you’re blocking
access to an unerring source of clarity, wisdom, and direction, right inside
you at all times. When you make necessary changes in your life, prompted by
your intuitive sense, you are following your natural way of living. If doing
this seems difficult at first, it is because you have been trained to ignore your
inner voice. When you begin to act upon your inner signals, slowly you
unlearn your previous habits that have prevented you from being able to
sense what’s true and right for you in your life.

Celebrity therapist and pioneering hypnotherapy trainer Marisa Peer has this
to say: “The stomach is the seat of all emotions and your feelings are the
most real thing you have; so the trick is to listen to your feelings. If
something feels wrong, your inner voice is saying it is not right for you. If
you get the horrible lurch in your stomach, your inner voice is telling you
‘this is wrong’.”
Many people try to block the feelings arising from their negative aspects.
This requires a lot of energy and this means that they are robbing themselves
of their potential power. They spend more and more of their energy trying to
keep the door shut on their “negative” selves. Never do the mistake of
blocking the negative signals and drain your life force. When your inner
voice is helping you discover the hidden aspects of yourself, don’t silence it.
Listen and understand the truths about yourself. Only that can change you in
the deeper level. When you start taking action, confidence in your ability to
trust the greater workings of the universe will begin to arise.

When you can tune in to your inner voice, you can make better and faster
decisions, solve problems with greater ease, and live a more fulfilled and
happy life. Only those whose inner voice is keenly developed can subject
themselves to external elements and still not be influenced away from their
inner direction. This ability is called 'Living in the world, but not being of it'.
It will give you real inner peace, even when the outer world is in chaos.
 RULE TEN:
Do all you can and step back!

I n Zen monastic training, the chores that attendants do, to maintain the
monastery, are known collectively as samu, or “work practice.” Whether
the assigned chore be washing windows or cleaning the meditation hall,
chopping vegetables or planting a tree, one is expected to work silently and to
give wholehearted attention to the task at hand. However trivial that task may
appear, Zen students are expected to do it with utmost care. If they are
washing a cup they’ll wash as if they are “bathing the baby Buddha.” For
them, there are no “high” and “low” forms of labour and the only important
thing is acquiring the habit of paying full attention to whatever they are
doing. And they learn to have a deep respect for even ordinary objects like
mats and cushions, cups and bowls.

In your life journey you are expected to feel such reverence for everything
you do. Every bit of work is yoga for you when you are sincere. Think that
God or universe is working through you. If you cultivate this feeling, every
work done by you will be outstanding. Yogis are masters in this art. They feel
that God is doing everything and they are the eternal witness. Even if you
could not achieve such a mindset, if you do everything to the best of your
abilities you have done your part in God’s grand scheme of things. Now
gracefully step back. Don’t worry about the outcome and never be anxious
about the result. Giving the result is nature’s or God’s responsibility. You
need not know how. The "hows" are the domains of the Universe. It always
knows the shortest, quickest, fastest, most harmonious way between you and
your dream.

In Bhagavad Gita Lord Krishna advised Arjuna “The right is to work only,
but never to its fruits…. Perform action abandoning attachment.”

Lao Tzu said in Tao Te Ching “Do your work, then step back. The only path
to serenity.”

Modern people may find it hard to accept the above advice. They live in a
world that’s particularly outcome oriented and externally focused. They
think, “If you don’t have fruits to show for your labour —the houses, the
cars, the titles, the awards—then it must mean that either your labour was in
vain or that you were not adding enough value.”

Think of our present culture’s obsession with productivity: with the need for
“hard work” and working long hours to get things done, with the need to be
busy, busy and busy all the time, with the need to make lists and check them
off, with the need to juggle countless projects and make more revenue and
accomplish more and more.

People mistakenly think that life’s biggest challenge is to work hard. Many
people can muster the energy to work hard temporarily, especially when there
is a valuable reward being dangled in front of them. Any animal can be
trained to run faster that way.

But we are not here to win a race. Our life is not a race, but it’s more like a
marathon. To sustain our pursuit, we cannot merely try hard, but we must try
hard at the right things, and in the right amount, and we must know when to
pause and reflect, and when to change course. There should not be any
neglect on our part. But after doing all we could, we have no further role to
play here and we must step back.

Actually, no action goes unrewarded. An action fulfils itself only in reaction.

It will get result according to its quality. So, to worry and get ourselves
preoccupied with anxieties for the results is really wasting our time and
energy.

Life is meant to be lived and not to be over-analyzed. Yet, more often than
not, we find ourselves stuck in our head recounting experiences, mostly
unpleasant ones over and over again till they bring us down. Not only that,
we also tend to carry them with us around like bad weather. They form
prejudices and biases about our view of the world. We tend to over-
generalize and assume things when we hold on too tightly to our past
experiences. It’s one thing to learn a lesson from an experience and move on
in life with new wisdom and it’s totally another thing to carry the bitterness,
guilt and regret over the past experiences and letting this taint our present
days.

Your knowledge and understanding is limited, whereas events happening in

nature are much beyond that. Call it nature or universal consciousness, it is
enriched with unlimited options. Everything happens in a special and
mysterious manner. Whatever universe may provide, it’ll be hundred times
better than your limited expectations. Have deep faith in nature that whatever
happens is justified and everything is perfect. And do not unnecessarily
create a boundary for the fruits of your action. You must be willing to stop
pushing and allow the universe to send you the things you truly need rather
than what you keep asking for. Let nature work its own way. Having learned
to do your work and then step back, you can allow the future to unfold as it
will. And should that occur, next week or years from now, you will indeed
have set foot on the path to peace.
The only thing keeping you from fully surrendering and trusting the
universe’s divine plan for you is your own ego. The ego feeds on the desire to
be in the driver’s seat at all times, consequently acting out in fear when it’s
not in control. This internal battle of power struggle leads to emotional
breakdowns, depression, anxiety, chronic stress, disease, etc. You should
work with deep involvement, but you should not be attached to the outcome.
The trick is behaving like an Oscar award-winning actor playing a role:
become fully emotionally immersed and at the same time recognize that you
can step outside of the character and be objective.

When a bird looks for food there is an implicit assumption that it will find the
worm and all will be okay. It does not get up and start worrying “What if I
can’t find food? What will happen to me? How will I survive?” It does not
anticipate there will be a problem. There is an ease with which it moves
through the day. There is an underlying instinct that is minutely keeping in
touch with the nature of the universe. It does not worry about anything. It
simply trusts that all will be provided for and it does not question how.

To be in that state of mind is to observe the precise timing in which all things
fall into place and to simultaneously marvel at the exquisite manifestations of
an ever-changing universe. When you are fortunate enough to have an
experience of this wholeness, you’ll be filled with humility and gratitude.
You’ll have complete trust in universe and feel deep inner peace knowing
that everything will be taken care of by the higher forces.
 SIGNS OF
TRANSFORMATION

P eople who attain success and retain peace think, act and live differently.
Their transformation will be noticed in their attitudes, behaviour and
their way of life. These are the signs of their transformation:

They enjoy little things of life.

They slow down to appreciate life’s little pleasures. They pay attention to the
present moment. Frequently they ‘stop to smell the roses’. Every day they
enjoy the beauty and the small, amazing things in life. They notice and
appreciate good things of life, however small they seem to be- a beautiful
flower, a friend bringing over a cup of coffee, the smile of a baby, the smell
of the first raindrops on parched earth, the sight of a kitten playing with a
piece of string, the smell of the sweet dish on the stove, the sound of the
chirping birds early in the morning and the laughter of playing children.
They take the time to acknowledge, appreciate, and fully enjoy it.
 They don't hold on to grudges.

Forgiving and forgetting is absolutely necessary when it comes to peace of

mind. Holding a grudge means that you're hanging on to anger, resentment,
pain and other negative emotions that are roadblocks to happiness. By letting
go of these emotions, you free yourself from negativity so there's more space
for positive emotions to get in. Holding a grudge has a lot of detrimental
effects on your well-being, including increased depression, anxiety, and
stress. Why let anyone who has wronged you have power over you? If you let
go of all your grudges, you’ll gain a clear conscience and enough energy to
enjoy the good things in life.

Buddha once said, “Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the
intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one getting burned. “ What
a great metaphor, perfectly illustrating how our inability to forgive harms
ourselves more than anybody else, including our wrong-doers. If you want
happiness, you need to learn to forgive yourself and others, to let go of
negative emotions of anger, hate, hostility, grief, vengeance, resentment, and
so on.

When someone does something wrong to the transformed people, they know
that he will suffer later because of his wrong doing. So, they will have
compassion for him and forgive him. They’ll bless the person and release the
anger.

They help others.

“True happiness consists of making others happy,” says an ancient Hindu

proverb. Helping others feels great. Being kind, generous and helpful is one
of the cornerstones of true happiness. So they always help others in every
possible situation.

Taking the time to help people not only makes them happy, but it also makes
you happy. Helping other people gives you a surge of oxytocin, serotonin,
and dopamine, all of which create good feelings. In a Harvard study
conducted in organizations, employees who helped others were 10 times
more likely to be focused at work and 40% more likely to get a promotion.
The same study showed that people who consistently provided social support
were the most likely to be happy during times of high stress. As long as you
make certain that you aren’t over committing yourself, helping others is sure
to have a positive influence on your mood.

In his book, ‘Give and Take’, American psychologist Adam Grant writes
about long term benefits of helping others. He says, “One study of more than
2,800 Americans over age twenty-four showed that volunteering predicted
increases in happiness, life satisfaction, and self-esteem – and decreases in
depression – a year later. And for adults over sixty-five, those who
volunteered saw a drop in depression over an eight-year period. Other studies
show that elderly adults who volunteer or give support to others actually live
longer.”

If you want more happiness, start giving more. Give the gift of time, money,
advice. Act more and more without having any hidden agenda. Don’t worry
about getting anything in return. Remember, the mere act of giving and
helping provides more than enough in return.

They have gratitude

There’s a popular saying that goes something like this: “The happiest people
don’t have the best of everything; they just make the best of everything they
have.” This describes the attitude of transformed people. They have a deeper
sense of contentment, because they count their blessings instead of yearning
for what they don’t have.

Gratitude is essential for peace and fulfillment. You have to truly appreciate
everything you have in life in order to be satisfied with it. If you don't feel
grateful, you're always going to be looking for more, no matter how much
you already have. Express your gratitude, openly and often, for all the great
things in your life. Forget what you "could" have--focus on what you do
have.
In an experiment participants were randomly split into three groups and told
to write in a journal once a week for the upcoming ten weeks. The groups
were asked to describe in a single sentence:

Five things that they were grateful for (gratitude condition)

Five things that they were displeased about (hassle condition)

Five neutral events (events condition)

At the end of the ten weeks, participants in the gratitude condition reported
feeling more optimistic about their future and better about their lives as a
whole. They reported fewer health problems and even spent more time
exercising than people in the other groups. Most importantly, they were 25
percent happier than the other participants.

They adapt themselves to changing

situations

Life changes far more frequently and more unpredictably than most of us
would like. Life will eventually turn on us and take a detour, whether it’s our
health, our friendships, our relationships or work. The only constant in our
life is change and we need to learn to develop coping mechanisms for these
times in our lives.
Evolved people come to the battlefield with weapon in hand. They have
developed their sense of self. They are able to rely on themselves when the
tough times hit. They don’t focus on the obstacle or interference. They focus
only on finding the best way around the obstacle. They’re adaptable, they
don't have to worry about life's unpredictability, and they aren't as stressed
when something major comes up. They simply find another way forward, and
proceed.

If they cannot change the things they’ll accept philosophically. Instead of

obsessing over how unfair life is, they just focus on what they can control and
change it for the better. They know instinctively what makes them feel better
and they engage that activity. They don’t go down the rabbit hole and engage
with negative things.

They surround themselves with the

right people.

Happiness spreads through positive people. Surrounding yourself with happy

people builds confidence and stimulates creativity. So, wise people mostly
surround themselves with positive people.

Hanging around negative people has the opposite effect. They want people to
join their pity party so that they can feel better about themselves. Misery
loves company. That’s why it’s important to surround yourself with
optimistic people who will encourage you to achieve your goals. The more
positive energy you have around you, the better you will feel about yourself.
Think of it this way: If a person were smoking, would you sit there all
afternoon inhaling the second-hand smoke? You’d distance yourself, and you
should do the same with negative people.

They're busy, but not rushed

Evolved and transformed people are busy, but not rushed. Though they have
plenty of things to do, they’ll do one by one without hurry. They don’t do
unnecessary and meaningless activities. They focus their energy and efforts
only on things that are truly important and within their control.

Getting consumed by the things that you have absolutely no control over is a
waste of time that will end up making you lean more toward the miserable
side. The biggest issue behind this behaviour is that it can stress you out far
more than you need to be. The pressure of the clock can become ridiculously
intense. And it's a quality issue, too. By rushing to get things done as fast as
possible you’ll make more mistakes. To rectify the mistakes you’ll need to
rework things or you have to go back and fix errors. Though your initial
rushing has created the illusion that you're getting ahead, actually you have
wasted your precious time.

You must always work to expand your comfort zone, but not so much to the
point of having your daily routine overloaded. Research shows that feeling
"rushed" can lead to stress and health problems. So don’t rush yourself. Life
is a marathon, not a sprint. Think decades, not week by week.

They never seek approval from others

Wise people don’t care what others think of them. They follow their own
hearts without letting naysayers discourage them. They understand that it’s
impossible to please everyone.

Listen to what people have to say, but never seek anyone’s approval but your
own. What others think of you is none of your business. There is no point
whatsoever trying to please everyone all the time, as it is an impossible and
time-wasting task. When you are less focused on what others think about you
it frees up more precious time for you to work perfectly.

Mind your own business and let other people mind theirs. After all, you are
really the star, so shine your light and let others shine with you or fade into
your shadows. Your life is your mission, so go forth with courage as no one
else has been given your insight. Other people base their reality on their
perception and there is nothing you can do to change that. So don’t be
distressed if they can’t understand your vision. It’s yours alone and that’s
OK.
 They celebrate other people's success.

Insecure people constantly doubt their worth and because of this, they find it
difficult to appreciate other people’s success. Sometimes they try to steal the
spotlight and criticize the successful people in order to prove their worth.
People of real achievements, on the other hand, aren’t worried about their
worth because they draw their self-worth from within. Instead of feeling
insecure, they can enjoy the success of other people. Their superiority allows
them to see all the wonderful things that other people bring to the table and
they praise them for their contribution without any hesitation.

Martin Seligman explained in his book ‘Flourish’, "People we care about

often tell us about a victory, a triumph, and less momentous good things that
happen to them. How we respond can either build the relationship or
undermine it. Only by positive and happy responding one can build
relationships”. Always appreciate other people’s success even if it is not a
great achievement. It is not only good manners; it is a good habit to win
friendship of others.

They treat everyone with respect and

kindness.

Transformed people are committed to making random act of kindness. It

becomes a part of their character. They open doors, help someone elderly
with their things, they give a compliment for no reason, they show respect
even to downtrodden people without any expectation from them.

When you do something kind to others, you feel good as the giver and the
receiver feels good and pleased as well. Did you know that it has been
scientifically proven that being kind makes you happier? Every time you
perform a selfless act, your brain produces serotonin, a hormone that eases
tension and lifts your spirits. Not only that, but treating people with love,
dignity, and respect also allows you to build stronger relationships.

Kindness, like happiness, is contagious. There's even a name for it: "moral
elevation." According to a study conducted by researchers at the University
of California-Los Angeles, and the universities of Cambridge and Plymouth
in the United Kingdom, it was found that witnessing the acts of kindness
makes us feel warm and fuzzy inside. "When you feel this sense of moral
'elevation,' not only do you say you want to be a better person and help
others," said Simone Schnall, of Cambridge, the lead researcher. "But you
actually do, when the opportunity presents itself."

They're optimistic

Successful and peaceful people are always optimistic. The power of positive
thinking cannot be overstated. Simply believing that things will work out in
the end will help you manage your stress on a regular basis and think more
positively about your current situation. Optimists find the best in
everything and aren't ever consumed with the need to search for faults.
Constantly viewing the world through a positive lens will make the world
seem more positive, and you'll be happier to live in it as a result. Fostering
optimism can be tough, especially if you're used to a cynical line of thinking,
but with practice, it's possible to change your outlook.

In his book ‘Making Hope Happen”, Shane J. Lopez, the leading researcher
studying the science of hope, has given a real life example of a man called
John. Shane says, “Through my work with John, I realized that how we think
about the future—how we hope—determines how well we live our lives.
John’s transformations, from thriving to suffering and back to thriving, were
simple and compelling. When he had clear hopes for the future, his life was
good. When John had a sudden break with the future, he felt his life was not
worth living. As John reconnected to a meaningful future, his life became
good again, and he was excited about it. And his health mysteriously
stabilized.”

When you are hopeful about the future, you feel excited, enthusiastic,
motivated, and happy. It helps you to improve your health also. When you
aren’t hopeful about the future, you feel anxious, depressed, and devoid of
meaning. Additionally, this makes your health decline.
Bad things happen to everyone, including successful and happy people.
Instead of complaining about how things could have been or should have
been, the evolved people reflect on everything they’re grateful for. Then they
find the best solution available to the problem, tackle it, and move on.
Nothing fuels unhappiness quite like pessimism. The problem with a
pessimistic attitude, apart from the damage it does to your mood, is that it
becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy: if you expect bad things, you’re more
likely to experience negative events. Pessimistic thoughts are hard to shake
off until you recognize how illogical they are. Force yourself to look at the
facts, and you’ll see that things are not nearly as bad as they seem.

They give more importance to values

than to wealth

The transformed people aren't obsessed with tangible rewards or destinations.

They aren't worried about getting to a certain position, making a certain
amount of money, or having certain material things. They're more concerned
with the intangible parts of life: values, inner peace, mastery of arts, welfare
of all, friendship and family. They prioritize experiences over
possessions and don't try to measure their lives in terms of how much wealth
they have. In a way, they prioritize their real feelings of happiness over what
they perceive to be linked to happiness. So, consider your values carefully
and examine how you really feel about them.
Real success isn't about reaching a destination or achieving a goal; it's about
enjoying the journey of life. Real peace can be attained only when your
values and standards are not compromised for the outward materialistic
success.

They view problems as challenges

The word “problem” is never a part of a great person’s vocabulary. A

problem is viewed as a drawback, a struggle, or an unstable situation while a
challenge is viewed as something positive like an opportunity, a task, or a
dare. Whenever you face an obstacle, try looking at it as a challenge.

Where you focus your attention determines your emotional state. By fixating
on your problems, you create and prolong negative emotions and stress,
which hinder performance. However, by focusing on actions to better
yourself and your circumstances, you can create a sense of personal
supremacy that produces positive emotions and improves performance.
Successful and happy people don’t dwell on problems because they know
that they’re most effective when they focus on solutions.

Mostly ordinary people tend to be self-critical. They beat themselves up,

blame themselves, and just generally put themselves down and make
themselves feel like total losers. It shouldn’t come as a surprise that self-
criticism has been shown to be strongly related to anxiety, depression,
dissatisfaction in life, low self-esteem, and increased risk of suicide. So
eliminate the word ‘problem’ from your mind altogether and just go ahead
taking everything as challenge and opportunity.

They never stop learning

Wise people never cease to learn. They’ll remain lifelong students in the art
of life.

Committing to the habit of a life of continuous learning is one of the most

empowering rituals that you can adopt. A university or college degree or any
significant achievement is not the end of your learning. It is just a step
towards wisdom and mastery. So, make continuous learning a part of your
daily routine.

“You learn best by reading a lot and writing a lot, and the most valuable
lessons of all are the ones you teach yourself.” said Stephen King. Challenge
yourself to try something new and become a beginner in some area of your
life. You will discover new things about yourself, and you’ll broaden your
perspective and knowledge base. Become a student of your own life and find
out what you want to improve, develop, or grow. Seek the help of coaches
and counselors when necessary: it’s something that most successful people in
the world do on a regular basis. The simple truth is that if you are aren’t
improving and evolving, you’re stagnating.

They see their work as a calling

You might have heard this story. A person walks past a construction site and
meets three builders working there. He asks each one of them what he is
doing. The first one says that he is laying bricks. The second one says that he
is building a wall. The third one says that he is erecting a cathedral for the
glory of God.

The first two builders see their work as normal jobs, whereas the last one sees
it as a so-called ‘calling’ – work as an end in itself with a belief that it
contributes to something larger than himself, to the greater good.

Great people always see their work as callings. They work with real
reverence. For them their work is not “just a job” or “just a way to make
money”. Always ask the question, how do you view your job? Are you laying
bricks or erecting a cathedral in the name of something larger than yourself?

They don’t overthink

Thoughts are wonderful things and can literally create anything and move
mountains. But they are also capable of running wild and create innumerable
problems. Once a thought is born, it sends a signal to produce another and so
on until momentum builds, sometimes leading you to become enthralled by
the imaginary adventure. This is fine when you are thinking positive thoughts
that induce to do great works, which are in alignment with being the best
version of you.

However it’s compounding power can also be dangerous if your thoughts are
not constructively focused on specific tasks that you have set for yourself. If
you have tendencies to overthink and often find yourself ruminating about
your flaws, problems, and shortcomings, you probably know what’s coming.
Research has shown that overthinking can be detrimental to our happiness
and well-being. Sonja Lyubomirsky, the happiness researcher, who has
written the book ‘The How of Happiness’ says, “The evidence that
overthinking is bad for you is now vast and overwhelming. If you are
someone who is plagued by ruminations, you are unlikely to become happier
before you can break that habit. Indeed, I will go so far as to say that if you
are overthinking, one of the secrets to your happiness is the ability to allay
obsessive overthinking and to reinterpret and redirect your negative thoughts
into more neutral or optimistic ones.”

She mentions that overthinkers are some of the unhappiest people she ever
sees in her studies. Her studies show that happiness and overthinking do not
go together. Happy people are either naturally carefree or have learned to let
go of their tendencies to overthink.
 They Don’t Compare Themselves to
Others

Comparison is truly the thief of joy. You were born to be a creator not to
compete with others. You were born as an original being. There is no one
here on Earth today made like you. So never fall into the trap of comparing
yourselves to other people. Without your knowing you may think “How are
they doing?” “What did they achieve?” “What kind of car are they driving?”
“Are they more successful than me?” “Or am I more successful?” And, of
course: “How do I measure up?”

Everyone works at his own pace, so why compare yourself to others? If you
think you’re better than someone else, you gain an unhealthy sense of
superiority. If you think someone else is better than you, you end up feeling
bad about yourself. You’ll be happier if you focus on your own progress and
praise others on theirs.

If you believe that someone is doing well in an area that you admire, see that
person as your inspiration instead of feeling inferior to him. There is no harm
in learning from your fellow beings as long as you never see yourself or them
as inferior or superior. Whatever you see someone else doing or having is
also available to you. There is an infinite and abundant supply of everything
your heart desires. It’s your Universal right to be happy and successful and
whatever you can believe you can receive.

When your sense of pleasure and satisfaction are derived from comparing
yourself to others, you are no longer the master of your own life. When
successful, happy people feel good about something that they’ve done and
they don’t let anyone’s opinions or accomplishments take that away from
them.

They keep positive memories of life

In an interesting study participants were first asked to make a list of happy

memories and personal mementos (such as photographs, gifts, and souvenirs)
and then instructed to engage in positive reminiscing twice daily for a week.
The researchers found that those participants who reminisced on a regular
basis showed considerable increases in happiness, and the more vivid the
memories conjured, the greater the gain in happy feelings.

Though both sweet and bitter incidents happen in our life, positive and happy
people treasure their positive incidents in their memory bank. In an average
man’s life most of the things are right and only a few of the things are wrong.
A wise person remains peaceful seeing the positive things happening in his
life. And he frequently remembers the beautiful moments fondly. Only
foolish people concentrate on a few negative things and keep on
remembering them. By reliving them again and again, they burden
themselves, live unhappily and finally get stomach ulcers. If you continue to
beat yourself up for past actions and incidents that may have led you to
misery or pain, how then can you expect to live a vibrant and joyful life? It's
your choice whether you want to ruminate on negative experiences or
reminisce about positive ones. What do you choose?

They smile more

Mother Teresa said, “Peace begins with a smile. This sounds simple, not
complicated, but perhaps we make it complicated. When we ponder our many
responsibilities, our minds may be clouded with worries, desires and the
details of life. Many people give their anger or frown freely and smile rarely,
as though a smiling is a hard task.

Like the Buddha, wise people always smile because they have made peace
not only with themselves, but also with the rest of the world. Their smiles
show the mastery of their mind. It is a sign of their joy and confidence.

When you feel sad or anxious about anything crack a smile to yourself and
repeat in your mind ‘this too will pass.’ Think of Buddha and smile as often
as you can. Don’t let your smile be snatched away by anybody! With your
smile you could lighten people’s hearts. There is no situation bigger than you,
unless you give away your power to it. Be in total control of your emotions
and the way you feel in every minute of the day and let your smile be the
reminder of that.

By reading all these signs, you might have perceived the overall image of the
people who attain both success and peace in their life. Try to follow them in
all possible ways.
 CONCLUSION

R amana Maharishi said, “Peace is your natural state.” But most of the
time, we’re just not attuned to it.

Never before has a generation of people known the comforts and

conveniences we have today. And yet, we cannot claim to be the most
peaceful generation in history. We have lost our natural state of peacefulness
long ago. A vast number of people live in states of constant anxiety and
depression. Some are suffering because of their failure, but ironically, many
are suffering due to the consequences of their success.

Success shows your external achievement and peace shows your internal
achievement. Your life can be considered whole and complete only when you
achieve them both. The intention of this book has been to make it possible for
you. If you sincerely follow the ten rules given in this book you’ll attain great
success and retain peace till the end of your life.
I strongly believe that deep inside, at the core of our being and the essence of
our existence, we all have a mission for life. We each have something of a
genius, something that calls to us. We live in an incredibly magnificent
universe, and part of us knows this and calls to us with an infinite amount of
energy to make sure we don't miss out the gifts and opportunities that
surround us. When we answer the call and fulfill our mission, surely both
success and peace are possible for us.

There’s perfect timing in the Universe, and your arrival on Earth was a part
of that synchronicity. A personal renaissance awaits you. So besides reading,
absorbing, and internalize your learning, I do hope that you also take some
action to be the best version of yourself! Also I hope that this book has been,
and will continue to be, helpful to you in the journey of your life.

I wish you all the best!

N.Ganeshan

E mail : nganezen at gmail dot com

 ABOUT AUTHOR

N.Ganeshan is an inspirational and spiritual writer both in English and Tamil

languages. He has written many articles and short stories in leading
magazines and newspapers and won many prizes and awards. He has written
twenty books in Tamil and they include many thriller novels and a historical
novel. His mind power book in Tamil is in eighth edition at present and his
other books are also in various editions. This book “Attain Success and
Retain Peace” is his first book in English.