Lisa K RisCassi

End of the Road

“Where the hell is Charlie?” I pretty much screamed into the phone, trying to keep my

cool. “Hi honey, he actually moved to Asheville a couple days ago and I have yet to hear from

him. I’m sorry to break the news. Take care.” Charlie’s mom had been through a lot in the past

year. Her husband abruptly decided to divorce her beautiful soul about two months ago and now

her son, the love of my life, abruptly decided to leave her as well. Poor lady. I hung up my phone

and looked down at my hands under the bright moonlight. They were nicely manicured from the

nail salon gift card Charlie had given me a month ago yet they were shaking like I had just seen a

dead person. I could feel the knot in my belly slowly creeping up to my throat and within

milliseconds tears flooded my eyes. I did not want to believe what Charlie’s mom had just told

me. Asheville? Why Asheville? We had never talked about moving away or starting a new

chapter in our lives. I had not heard from Charlie in weeks but never figured he would just get up

and leave me all alone like that. I had grown to be completely dependent on him within the first

couple months into dating and I didn’t know what to do with myself after ending the horrifying

phone call. I had finally figured out what he was up too after a month of solidarity and I instantly

regretted calling his mother one last time. My legs began to feel like jello and I sunk onto the

pavement under the beautiful full moonlight beating down on my body.

I had never been in a serious relationship until a couple months ago, after meeting

Charlie. I had met Charlie at a get together one of my close buddie’s was hosting that I had

decided to attend with my friend Mitch. The moment I laid eyes on Charlie’s scraggly brown

hair, lanky tall tattooed body, and beautiful blue eyes, I felt weak. There were chicks technically

glued to both his sides quite obviously drooling over his perfect complexion but that did not
seem to phase me. I skipped right over to him. “Hi, I’m Mary. Mitch told me he has been waiting

to finally introduce us for a couple weeks now.” Charlie looked over at Mitch who was already

asleep on the couch, beer in hand. “Apparently you’re a big Umphrey’s Mcgee fan is that right?”

I asked in a broken, shaky, nervous tone. “Yes! Love em! Saw em a couple weeks ago out in

Nashville with Mitch actually. Interesting to come across a girl interested in them. The band’s

crowd is quite the sausage fest.” He replied with a sly grin on his face. I blushed and did a little

dance, as I always did when I was nervous. “We should try and meet up at a show sometime.” I

hesitantly blurted out after trying not to obviously stare too hard into his breathtaking ocean blue

eyes. They never failed to lure me in. “Yeah I would love that. They’re playing in Atlanta this

Thursday actually would you care to join me?” Charlie asked looking hopeful. “I’ll have to check

my schedule but I think I can fit it in.” I replied giving him a wink, attempting to be mischievous,

knowing I had nothing of importance going on this week, or any week at that. Who even winks

anymore? I cringed while walking away feeling like a fool. I picked Mitch up off the couch,

threw away the full and now wasted beer, and laid him in the backseat of my car. After tucking

Mitch into bed and giving his parents a sincere wave goodnight, I drove home replaying the

conversation with Charlie in my head over and over again wondering if we would ever cross

paths again.

I still replay the conversation in my head every night before I go to bed. The day we met

was like no other and from that moment on I have never stopped wondering about Charlie.

Wondering what is constantly going through his head, wondering what he is doing every second

of the day, wondering what he wants to eat for dinner. After the night of the get together I was

most certainly not expecting a call from Charlie, granted I never gave him my phone number or

Facebook information. My phone obnoxiously rang and I looked down at the No Caller ID
number trying to reach me. I hesitantly answered and quickly recognized Charlie’s angelic voice.

‘Hey Mary! It’s Charlie. Mitch sent over your number because I would not stop bugging him

about you. You’re just so…. interesting, one of a kind, and I would love to get to know you a

little better. Would you be interested in meeting up for dinner tonight?” He asked sounding so

natural, confident, and sexy. My tummy dropped to the floor and all I could spit out was a lousy

“yes...please..” “Alright, meet me at Horton’s at 6. Bye Mary.” Charlie hung up and I slowly put

my phone down on my pillow. Wow. All those girls I saw him with at the party and he picks me?

I most certainly do not have half the looks those tramps at the party had. I was in shock. I put on

my brightest, flowiest, dress and just a stroke of mascara and headed to Hortons. Charlie was

standing at the door waiting for me and gently put his hand on my back while leading me inside.

I felt butterflies in my stomach and a smile most likely never to leave my face. Dinner went

fabulous. We bonded over bands we liked, writers we hated, and foods we constantly criticized.

He was everything I expected in a lover and I was beginning to realize I was falling into pure lust

with this mysterious man. He paid for our dinner and hugged me before we parted ways. What a

guy.

I was never the kind of girl who searched for love. I found relationships to be pointless

and always seemed to end up badly. The desire to call Charlie mine was starting to engulf my

brain and I became uncomfortable with the idea of my first real relationship. Not that I had even

talked about anything intimate or serious with Charlie, we just had one dinner, but something felt

magical and new to me. I wearily proceeded to meet up with him and Mitch that Thursday for the

Umphrey’s show we had been banking on since the party. Charlie danced by my side all night to

the overpowering sounds and colorful lights and I finally felt like I was headed down a road to

love, without force or expectation. After the Thursday show, we proceeded to attend every
Umphrey’s show we could scrounge up the money for. We would travel to shows together and

dance until we would fall to the floor. After one special show in Tampa Florida about two

months after meeting Charlie for the first time, Charlie and I were outside smoking a Marlboro

red and conversing with the new rowdy friends we had met at the show. “Hi, I’m Tim!” A wide

eyed random blurted out staring right at Charlie. “Hi Tim, I’m Charlie and this is my girlfriend

Mary. Nice to meet you man!” He looked over at me with a sparkle in his eyes. “Girlfriend huh?

When did this come to be about?” I jokingly asked Charlie. “I figured that it’s finally time to

show you off to the world. This particular show made me realize that I really enjoy your

company and see a future with you Mary. Plus, you can really get doooown.” He stared into my

eyes, chuckled, and kissed me. This had not been the first time Charlie had kissed me but it was

most certainly the first time I had been kissed by my own actual REAL boyfriend, not in a

playful way.

After becoming official, Charlie and I became the couple of the century. We went to

movies almost every week, we continued chasing down our favorite band’s shows, and we

indulged in the best food. Charlie made me feel like a princess and I was happy to feel wanted.

The uncomfortable feeling I had always had of relationships seemed to vanish rapidly after

becoming his girlfriend. I was in heaven. “You are just so beautiful I can not take my eyes off

you love.” Charlie sang as he played with my fingers while sitting on his parent’s couch. We

attended family dinners at least twice a week and became very close with each other's families. I

adored Charlie’s mom, feeling remorse for her shit, soon to be ex husband, and we always kept

in contact. I found myself staying over Charlie’s house almost every night and never wanting to

leave. I realized that I had become extremely dependent on him, waiting for his calls and cuddles
when I was home. Charlie had quite the plethora of friends and always seemed to be doing things

around town. Sometimes I would stay back and let him have his space, running errands and such.

Other than that we were inseparable.

“Mary Lou, I love you and I cannot fathom a future without you.” Charlie almost

whispered while laying next to me. Those words became almost sacred to me and I felt a tear

drop down my face. “I love you too Charlie. I had never wished for love or a relationship or

commitment growing up but this all feels so right. Never leave me.” I replied. I finally had

somebody to depend on and trust and it felt like a breath of fresh air. Yet everything with Charlie

was moving so fast, maybe too fast. The Tampa show that I quickly became cuffed at was only

two months ago, and now he’s already saying I love you? I just went with the flow not knowing

what else to do. I was naive. I had no idea how relationships were supposed to work so I

followed Charlie’s footsteps. After Charlie had told me he loved me things started to slowly

change over the upcoming weeks. He never introduced me to his friends which I had become a

little bothered by. Over time, Charlie started going out more, without me. He would make up

lousy excuses to blow off family dinners and I became suspicious. “Charlie, things have been off

lately. You are so distant. Have I done something? Do you still love me?” I cried, arms crossed,

standing a couple feet away. He quickly pulled me in. “No Mary, you’ve done nothing wrong

and I am sorry. I promise to give you more of my time.” He exclaimed, completely ignoring the

second part of my question. We had not been going to nearly as shows anymore and things

seemed dull. It was hard for me to believe him. He continued to keep his distance and I started to

become even more obsessed.

I would call him multiple times a day, longing to hear his voice and figure out what he

was up to. I would visit his mom and bake scones with her. I did everything in my power to keep
Charlie around but nothing seemed to phase him. “I thought he loved me.” I bitched to his

mother while cutting up the apples for the scones. “Honey, I’m sure he does. Maybe he just

needs a little space to think. Ya know? He’s never been one to commit.” Charlie’s mom frowned.

My stomach dropped. Those were not words I wanted to hear at that moment, in fact ever.

Charlie had made ME his girlfriend. Charlie was the first to express his love for ME. Charlie was

my first for everything. After leaving Charlie’s mother’s house I drove home with defeat. I

arrived home and waited for Charlie to call. I waited and waited and waited. A day had passed

and I had not heard one chirp from Charlie. I was starting to feel weak and hopeless. A few more

days went by and no sign of Charlie. His mother would not pick up her phone either. Should I

even call him my boyfriend anymore? From my knowledge, boyfriends aren’t supposed to blow

their lover off for days and days? I had gotten extremely sick just from the worry and betrayal

and I became depressed. I never wanted to go outside, I always wanted to sleep, and I wanted to

blame myself for falling into the stupid rabbit hole of a relationship. “Fuck Charlie” I thought.

“Fuck a boyfriend.” Months passed and I had finally started to move on, most certainly not to

another relationship but in my studies and work. I was doing things for myself once again and

trying to ignore the fact I had been left, abandoned, and used. I saw nothing but good in Charlie

and never expected him to do me so dirty. It was a Friday night and there was a beautiful full

moon above as I was walking out of work. I stared at the moon for what seemed like a good

hour, thinking about the past couple months of my life. I thought about Charlie and all the shows

we had went to and the magic moments we created and I could not resist. I decided to call

Charlie’s mom one more time and I instantly heard her sigh on the other line. I knew this was the

end of the road.