The Temple of

Fartamental Evil
A fantasy RPG adventure for 3-5 low level players of an immature disposition

What is the source of the mysterious stench coming

from deep within the nearby mountain?
Add a little humor to your latest campaign with this hilarious adventure module
The Temple of
Fartamental Evil
A fantasy RPG adventure for 3-5 low level players of an immature disposition

By Jack Pennington

© 2016
youtube.com/foursidedguy
Subscribe to my channel now to see this module played!
Temple of Fartamental Evil youtube.com/foursidedguy
Introduction for
the Reader
What you’re reading is not the
dramatic turning point that
your campaign needs. It’s not
the deep, challenging dungeon
crawl that your players have
been waiting for. It’s an hour
long fart joke. And I hope you’re
comfortable with that.
I started playing RPGs when
I was ten years old. I probably
did some of my heaviest gaming
between ages twelve and fifteen.
And every time I sit back down
at the game table, I suppose I re-
gress to that time. But I know I’m
not the only one. I know every
gamer, deep down, likes to take a
quick digression from the game
now and then to be a complete
and utter child for a moment.
The module you’re holding is
that childlike sense of wonder
and sophomoric humor. It’s de-
signed in such a way as to fit into
whatever adventure you’re cur-
rently running without derailing
Page 2
your plot. Your players can find
the entrance to this dungeon
anywhere in the wilderness, and
exit right back on the path they
were traveling. You can play it
as a quick distraction from the
main story, or just use it as a me-
chanic to travel from one town
to the next.
This module was originally writ-
ten as an experiment for myself
and my younger brother. After
twenty years of playing table-
top RPGs, we wondered what
role-playing was like for the very
first generation of gamers. So,
we tracked down a copy of that
game (you know which one. I
ain’t saying. I don’t wanna get
sued) and decided to run a game
with the very first set of RPG
rules ever written. In fact, you
probably only found this mod-
ule because you saw our video
on my YouTube channel, FOUR
SIDED GUY. Have you not seen
it? Really? That’s a surprise. I
Temple of Fartamental Evil youtube.com/foursidedguy

mean, I didn’t want to seem pre- your rules system.

sumptuous, like one of those
stuck up douches who assumes Thanks so much for getting a
everybody has seen his You- copy of this adventure. I sin-
Tube channel but... Well, in any cerely hope you enjoy every
case, go check out youtube.com/ minute of it, and if you ar-
foursidedguy and don’t forget to en’t already one of the 90% of
subscribe! humans who love flatulence
humor, I’m certain I’ll have
This adventure has been written changed your mind by the
with compatibility in mind. end of this book.
Rules and stats have been
generalized so you can adapt Actually, if you don’t find fart
skill checks and such according jokes hilarious, you’re prob-
to your preferred system. It also ably dead inside and I don’t
means no monster statistics wanna be friends with you.
have been provided. So before
you start the campaign, but Enjoy!
sure to look up and have handy
the stats for the monsters you
find in this book.
You’ll need
to have
the stats
handy
for
kobolds,
gnolls,
and
green
dragons,
Or appropriate
substitutions depending on

Page 3
Temple of Fartamental Evil youtube.com/foursidedguy
Background
for Gamemaster
Six months ago, a green dragon
took up residence in what he
believed to be a vacant cave.
His previous home was sud-
denly flooded, washing away all
of his possessions and nearly
drowning him. In the middle
of the night, he evacuated his
watery domicile and desperately
searched for a dry place to call
home. After hours of flight, and
still groggy from his ordeal, the
dragon settled down in what he
assumed to be an ordinary cave,
deep in the wilderness.
But little did the dragon know,
he had accidentally fallen asleep
in an ancient temple inhabited
by a group of zealous kobolds.
A kobold priest had decided
that they would wait there for
a sign from the gods. When the
dragon took his deep slumber
in the temple, the kobold leader
rejoiced! Not only had they
Page 4
received a sign, but an actual god
itself! As the dragon slept, he and
his fellow kobolds crept around
him and took to restraining him
to the floor.
The dragon struggled against his
bonds, spewing chlorine gas at
the kobolds. His thunderous
roars rumbled throughout
the catacombs connected to
the temple. After many hours
of struggle, the dragon finally
relented. He was exhausted from
the ordeal of losing his home and
simply didn’t have the strength
left to continue the fight. The
dragon slumped to the floor, and
the kobolds rejoiced.
For many days, the kobolds
smothered the dragon with
worship, something that the
dragon did not appreciate at all.
About a week later, the dragon
attempted escape again, but was
Temple of Fartamental Evil youtube.com/foursidedguy

unsuccessful. And this cycle
continued, on and on, week after
week, until finally, the dragon
managed to get one leg free, and
his escape was imminent...
But for the people who live in
the village below the mountain,
it’s been a rather disturbing
few months. All they know
is that every week or so, the
mountain has emitted a strange
thunderous noise and a foul
toxic odor. They don’t know
what it is that’s been causing the
disturbance, and they’re even
more uncomfortable with the
way the village children have
been characterizing the events.
(The kids have taken to
calling the place “Mt.
Farts”, but the adults
would never
repeat that)
make the noises and smells stop.
When asked for more details,
most villagers will know that
there’s an ancient dungeon deep
within the mountain, and that
is the likeliest place to begin
the investigation. When asked
how to enter the dungeon, the
delicately disposed villagers
will hem and haw, avoiding
the description of the dungeon
entrance. Because the entrance
to the dungeon is hidden
between two giant, ass-shaped
boulders. And the door looks
like a butthole.

The villagers
w o u l d
appreciate any
information
about what’s going
on up there. They
may even offer rewards
to any adventurer who can

Page 5
Temple of Fartamental Evil youtube.com/foursidedguy
Introduction
to Adventure
Read aloud:
For many months now, the
residents of this village have
lived in fear of the mysterious,
rumbling noises and foul, acrid
stench emitting from deep within
the nearby mountain. Nobody
knows what may be going on, but
some of the residents have offered
a reward for any information
leading to the end of the
terrifying events. With very little
to go on, you take off through
the forest, keeping a look out
for the entrance, as the villagers
described it. You’re looking for
two huge, round boulders resting
against each other, and between
them, will be the hole to the
dungeon. I mean...entrance to the
dungeon.
Page 6
Now, if you haven’t already, you
can take some time to introduce
all the characters and explain
everybody’s back story. Unless,
of course, you’re playing this as
part of a longer campaign, in
which case, totally ignore this
part. Act like it doesn’t exist.
I’ll be right over here waiting
for you to move on to the next
section of the book.
Tum tee tumm tumm...waiting
casually, lah dee dah...
Outside the Cave
Read aloud:
The forest opens to a small
clearing, revealing the two giant
boulders you’ve been looking
for. The large, round, smooth
granite cheeks...I mean rocks...
are propped against each other
just above what appears to be
a doorway in the mountain.
Hanging along the side of the
door is a small granite carving of
what appears to be a goblin finger.
Scratched in the rock above the
carving is a single goblin word.
Temple of Fartamental Evil youtube.com/foursidedguy
Now, if your players can’t figure
out that they’re supposed to
PULL THE FINGER, you
might have a group that’s a little
too mature to be playing this
module. However, we may as
well play along and give them
some options.
An easy language check, or
anyone who speaks goblin, can
translate the word scratched into
the rock to read “PULL”. Once
the players pull the finger, read
the following aloud:
A noise comes from the door. At
first, it’s a tiny squeak. It builds to
a rumble, and soon a thunderous
roar rushes out of the dungeon.
An acrid, acidic, and foul odor
follows the noise, washing over
you, practically knocking you off
your feet. As the disgusting wind
dies down, the door fully opens,
revealing a dark passage leading
down. Somewhere deep in the
darkness, the light of a flame
flickers
The players descend into the
darkness. The corridor is a
moderate grade, and about
Page 7
twenty five feet long before it
opens into the first chamber of
the dungeon.
The Vestibule
Read aloud:
The corridor opens up to a
medium sized chamber lit by
four iron braziers positioned in
each corner of the room. In the
center stands a seven foot tall
statue made of found objects
and improvised materials. The
figure appears to be some sort
of deity, although it’s tough to
tell if the creature is meant to
be humanoid, reptilian, or some
sort of abomination. At the foot
of the statue, a kobold wearing
faux robes leads four gnolls in a
spastic, barely coherent ritual of
some sort. The kobold extends one
appendage forward, the gnolls
follow suit. The kobold retracts
an appendage, the gnolls follow
suit. The kobold extends the
appendage again...and before he
can continue the ritual, he notices
your entrance and screams for
help. The gnolls break their focus
on the ritual and turn to deal
with your party.
Temple of Fartamental Evil youtube.com/foursidedguy
The kobold immediately bolts
off through the door to the east,
leaving the gnolls to do battle
with the players. Refer to your
specific game rules for statistics
on a gnoll. If your game doesn’t
feature gnolls, feel free to replace
them with appropriate minions
for the game you’re playing.
Once the battle is over, the
players may inspect the room if
they wish.
The four braziers have no objects
of interest that can be found.
However, if a player wishes to
fashion an improvised torch
using one of the wooden stands
and hot coals, they may.
If players wish to inspect the
statue, they can easily determine
that it’s been built using
discarded adventuring gear.
Rusty weapons, grappling hooks,
utility belts, backpacks, armor,
and more are stuck together in
a hardly recognizable shape.
One of the more intelligent
characters can attempt an
intelligence check, but even an
extreme success will only reveal
Page 8
that the statue is of something
reptilian, possibly a large lizard,
maybe even a dragon.
However, the statue is inscribed
at the base with a single goblin
word. PCs that speak goblin or
can sufficiently pass a language
test can translate the word:
“Flatus”
Corridor to Lab
As the players leave the vestibule,
they hear a skittering noise from
down the hall. As they round the
corner of the corridor, they see
the kobold priest standing in the
hall.
Read aloud:
The kobold jumps as you round
the corner. Struggling to get
traction on the slick stone floor,
he pumps his feet as quickly as he
can against the ground, cutting a
comical figure as he runs in place
momentarily, before soon finding
his footing and running north up
the corridor.
If the PCs give chase without
checking, they run into a 10’ pit
trap halfway up the corridor.
Temple of Fartamental Evil youtube.com/foursidedguy
The first player to trigger the
trap takes 2d6 fall damage. All
other players running down the
corridor must make a successful
dexterity check to stop short or
suffer the same fate.
Any player with the ability to find
traps will successfully find the
pit trap with a moderate success
roll. Unfortunately, the only
way to circumvent the trap is to
trigger it safely, and then climb
down and back up the other side.
This can be easily accomplished,
but it does prevent the players
from catching up to the kobold
before he makes his way out of
the corridor.
The Laboratory
The players emerge from the
trapped corridor into a round,
semi-spherical, large chamber.
Read aloud:
You enter a large, round chamber
with a semi-spherical ceiling.
Several tables around the room
have elaborate glass beakers
and tubing. Several beakers sit
on small flames, heating foul
Page 9
liquids, filling the room with an
even stronger putrid stench than
the one you smelled entering this
dungeon.
In the middle of the chamber, the
kobold priest stands, grinning at
you. Behind him, more than a
dozen other kobolds have stopped
their “scientific” work to stare at
the intruders at the entrance to
their laboratory.
For one tense moment, you stare
at the kobolds. And they stare
back.
Suddenly the kobolds drop their
scientific research and reach for
their weapons. With a cackle,
the kobold priest points a bony
claw at your party and screeches
something unintelligible.
The battle starts with fifteen
kobolds. The kobolds rush past
their priest, blocking access to
him. At the end of the first round,
the priest disappears somewhere
unseen. A successful roll against
a very difficult perception check
will reveal to the players that the
kobold priest dove down the
Temple of Fartamental Evil youtube.com/foursidedguy
trap door on the west side of the
chamber.
At the start of the second round,
a terrifying ROAR can be heard
from somewhere nearby. A
crash will startle the kobolds
momentarily, giving the PCs
the opportunity to steal combat
initiative for the round. At the
end of the round, the foul stench
will become overwhelming,
particularly for PCs in the west
half of the chamber.
Every round, 1d3 kobolds will
dive down the trap door. Each
round, the players can take
another perception check to see
where the kobolds are going, and
each round, the check becomes
slightly easier. On the second
round, they’ll have to beat a
difficult check, on the third,
a moderate check, etc. Once
there are less than five kobolds,
it becomes obvious where
they’re running off to, with no
perception check
GM NOTE: The trap door leads
to the final chamber, where
the green dragon has almost
Page 10
escaped from his bonds. You
may want to play up the noises
coming from the neighboring
chamber, drawing particular
attention to how distracted the
kobolds seem. If you can drop
subtle hints that the kobolds are
diving down the trap door in
an effort to prevent the dragon
from escaping, you’ll make the
reveal of the dragon that much
more satisfying.
Once all of the kobolds have
either been slain or escaped
down the trap door, the players
have the opportunity to search
the laboratory. Some of the
vials contain healing potions.
Players can salvage three healing
potions from the laboratory.
There are also several vials filled
with the green, putrid sludge
that the kobolds were cooking.
It doesn’t match the description
of any known potion, but a
player with some knowledge of
alchemy can tell that it’s clearly a
magic potion of some kind. The
effects of the potion will not be
known until somebody actually
consumes one.
Temple of Fartamental Evil youtube.com/foursidedguy

FART JUICE POTION

As soon as the potion is ingested, the user suffers painful abdominal spasms.
The spasms will soon subside, but only once a steady stream of thick flat-
ulence has begun leaking from the user's backside. The flatus stream is so
strong, it can actually lift the user a few inches off of the floor. The Fart Juice
potion acts like a feather-fall spell, allowing the user to fall slowly from any
height for up to fifteen minutes. User will suffer a -3 charisma penalty around
any intelligent creature, especially humans of a delicate disposition. The po-
tion's effects can be prematurely extinguished if the user bends forward,
compressed their abdomen, and opens up their butt cheeks to release one
tremendous fart. A constitution save is required to prevent the tremendous
fart from causing any soiling in the users trousers. Such soiling results in -1
charisma until clean clothes and a bath can be procured.

NOTE: Tremendous fart may cause those of a delicate disposition to faint or

call the authorities.

Once the players have finished
searching the laboratory, they
can follow the kobolds down the
trap door.
Slide to Final
Chamber
Read aloud:
The trap door reveals a slick
slide that leads deeper into the
dungeon. With nowhere else to
go, you dive in. Twisting and
turning through the darkness, you
notice that the noises and stench
are getting even stronger the
deeper you go. After a moment,
you can clearly hear the sound
of a large creature roaring, and
the desperate, frightened squeals
of kobolds. You tumble out of the
slide and onto a dirt floor. You
stand, brushing yourself off. You’re
in a medium sized antechamber
with a dirt floor. In front of you
are two doors. Beyond them, the
source of the sounds you’ve been
searching for.

Page 11
Temple of Fartamental Evil youtube.com/foursidedguy

The Final Chamber: safe way down to the ground.

Meeting “The God”
Read aloud:
You enter the massive room, and
take in the bedlam you’ve been
hearing all this time. In the middle
of the chamber, half chained
to the stone floor, stands a full
grown green dragon. He struggles
against his restraints, batting
away kobolds that attempt to
tighten his bonds, spewing vile
chlorine gas at anyone that gets
too close to him.
It occurs to you that if you were as
dumb as a kobold, you’d probably
name this guy after a fart, too.
Beyond the dragon, you notice
an open balcony. You
can see sunlight and
open wilderness!
But it appears
that you are
many stories
up from the
ground. If
you’re going
to escape,
you’re going to
have to find some
The dragon won’t start attacking
the players unless they attack
him first. The dragon no longer
wishes to escape. He’ll only
accept full eviction of the kobold
cult that occupies his new home.
The number of kobolds depends
on how many managed to escape
from the laboratory. Another
dozen kobolds were already here
with the dragon, trying to keep
him under control. There should
be around twenty kobolds in the
temple right now.
Every turn, the dragon will kill
1d3 kobolds automatically. Two
claws, one breath weapon. If the
dragon manages to kill all of
the kobolds before the
players manage to
escape, he will turn
his aggressions
toward the
remaining
interlopers in
his home: the
PCs!

Page 12
Temple of Fartamental Evil youtube.com/foursidedguy
At the end of the first round,
a kobold screams something
vaguely prayer-like, chugs one
of the vials of green sludge (The
Fart Juice Potion on pg. 11),
and dives over the edge of the
balcony. The distinct sound and
odor of flatulence follows. If
any players are near the balcony
at the time, they will be able
to recognize that the kobold’s
flatulence is effectively behaving
as a feather fall spell, slowing the
kobold’s descent to a safe speed.
It should be made clear to the
players that they cannot defeat
the green dragon, and that their
best bet at survival is to dive off
the balcony, and fart their way to
freedom. If the players want to
take the dragon on, good luck!
Hopefully, they don’t all die at the
end of this very weakly contrived
fart joke. Nobody wants to put
the period on the end of their
character’s biography with that
epigraph. “Killed by homicidal
fart deity”. Better to subtly
suggest they dive off the balcony
with the fart potion.
Page 13
When all the players have made
their way over the balcony, read
the following aloud:
The pain in your anus is nothing
compared to the sweet feeling of
the breeze as you drift downward
toward freedom on a cushion of
flatulence. You look back up at
the dragon. He tosses the lifeless
body of the kobold priest back
and forth, the apostolic corpse
whipping to and fro like a ragdoll.
With a satisfying flick of the neck,
the dragon flings the body in the
air, catching it and swallowing
the kobold in one gulp. He looks
down at your party. He grunts,
apparently satisfied that you’ve
left his home in peace. He turns
and disappears from view. You
can feel the pressure in your
abdomen drop, and your backside
makes a noise much like a balloon
running out of air. The potions
wear off just in time as you land
in the woods among the flattened
bodies of several kobolds. You feel
strongly that you should wash
your pants.
~⚔~
Temple of Fartamental Evil youtube.com/foursidedguy

Expanding on the the fart juice wasn’t intended as

a feather fall potion. Maybe it
Adventure was just meant to make people
flatulate violently. And that
Should you decide to keep the
could all have been part of the
fun going, there are several ways
rival dragon’s plan to demonize
you can expand this dungeon and
the green dragon in the mind of
tie elements from this adventure
the villagers.
into your larger campaign.
Or perhaps an old liche has been
Are there more rooms hidden
hiding in the dungeon ever since
in this dungeon?
he was living there as the sorcerer
for a powerful king. When he
Kind of small for a dungeon
slipped into undeath, he vowed
carved into a mountain,
to ruin the reputation of his
right? I mean, there’s gotta
former sovereign by spreading
be bedchambers, or jail cells,
the rumor that his beloved
probably even a kitchenette or
temple was the origin of foul fart
something. There are plenty
noises and stenches. The village
of nooks and crannies in the
children calling the mountain
laboratory. Maybe there are even
“Mt Farts” was a welcome bonus
a few more trap doors leading to
to that plan.
other parts of the dungeon.
Who else has need of some fart
Who developed the fart juice?
juice?
Kobolds are hardly smart enough
Is there a local wizard that
to do science. There must be
would be interested in studying
a more intelligent creature
the Fart Juice? Perhaps a local
pulling the strings. Perhaps a
assasin’s guild knows of a way
rival dragon lured the green
to modify the recipe to make
dragon there somehow, after
for deadly flatulence. What
flooding his old home. Maybe
does deadly flatulence mean?

Page 14
Temple of Fartamental Evil youtube.com/foursidedguy
You decide! Perhaps it
means drinking the
potion bestows deadly
smelling farts upon
the user. Or maybe
it makes the potion a
poison that causes
such intense
abdominal
trauma to the
user they literally
die of farts.
How does the green dragon
feel about the PCs now?
Does the dragon appreciate
the player’s help in evicting
the kobolds from his home?
Or does he feel that the
players were simply more
Page 15
intruders that needed to be dealt
with?
What do you think about
the dragon making a second
appearance later in the
campaign? Could the dragon
appear at a pivotal moment
to help the players out
of a jam? Maybe the
players find themselves in
the dragon’s old (now flooded)
home, and they run into him
again as he’s trying to salvage
his possessions. Or take it
one step further, and have the
dragon catch the players as they
are leaving his former home,
having just looted all of his old
possessions. This is why it’s very
important to encourage your
players to avoid attacking him.
Or at least keep them from
killing him outright.
Dragons always make
for interesting plot
twists and call
backs. Especially
the kind that smell
like farts.
Temple of Fartamental Evil youtube.com/foursidedguy

See it played at youtube.com/foursidedguy

Page 16
The “God’s”
Chamber

Laboratory

de
Sli

Vestibule

Entrance
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