d20 Humorous Role Play Encounters

1. A little person dressed in green approaches. He tells you he is a Leprechaun, and will grant you a
wish if he can knee you in the groin as hard as he can without you passing out. He does so, and
tells you there is no such thing as Leprechauns.
2. A message is delivered to you by bird or courier inviting you to “The Biggest Set of Balls of all
Time.” The message refers to a 2 night masquerade event. One Ball is hosted in a town a bit more
southern than the other.
3. A man approaches attempting to guess the size of your “member.” He is Sir Richard Penè a.k.a.
“Dick Pic Rick.” He asks to paint it, and feature the painting in his upcoming art gallery.
4. A barefoot, hulking brood of a half-whit approaches violently demanding that you are wearing
his boots! He wants them back.
5. A robed Halfling runs at full sprint handing you a wooden box. He tells you to hold it for him
before running away. 3 pursuers shortly follow asking if you have seen the Halfling.
6. A jaded old Dwarven Bard named Hard the Bard approaches and askes if you would like to hear
his hit song “Everyone Has A Beard” for the low cost of 1 silver piece. The song puts everyone to
sleep (non-magically).
7. You hear a call for help in the form of a song in a sweet tenner voice. If you investigate you
discover a dungeon face that talks and says his tummy hurts. He wants you to dive into his guts
and unclog him, ridding him of the residents that are inside.
8. You see a fat goblin stuck in a barrel upside-down. He begs for help speaking backwards. “HEY! I
DON’T NEED HELP! I AM NOT STUCK, NOR AM I THIRSTY!”
9. 5 royal guards approach and read from a scroll from the King. “I hereby confiscate all of your
pants in the name of the King. You will hand them over or be taken to the dungeons.”
10. A crazed- naked man, covered in filth with his tongue cut out runs to you and attempts to
embrace you to feel safe. He screams non-comprehendible sentences. He just escaped Buffalo
Billius’ stone well.
11. You are mistaken for a group of escaped mental patients of an insane- asylum that have been
missing for a fortnight. The armed orderlies come to drag you back to the nut house.
12. A fat Friar called “The Donut Friar” has eaten too many again. He stumbles up to the party with
the intentions of asking for a potion of lesser restoration, but instead vomits donuts all over a
party member.
13. A traveling merchant called Futz McGee flogs his “Magical Nuts” asking for 1 gold piece for a sack
of his “Magical Salted Nuts.” He swears by them, and guarantees total satisfaction. (Effects of the
nuts left to DM’s discretion, go wild with these nuts.)
14. Your identity has been stolen by a clever man/woman using “disguise self.” While using your
appearance they were caught cheating at a game of 3 Dragon Annie. The cheated gamblers have
finally caught up to their man. Or woman. And they are pissed.
15. A man approaches holding a newborn in a basket. That wild night you had with the tavern
wentch has made you a father. Congratulations. Man leaves, party laughs at the player.
16. A woman trying to transition from female to male mistakes you as a woman going through the
same changes. “He” asks you for advice, and tells you that you make a very convincing man.
17. A man walks his giant mastiff on a leash past you. The dog stops and proceeds to shit right on
top of your boot. The dogs master looks up at the sky and lets his dog do his business.
18. A judgmental Dwarven goat begins to follow you chewing on some straw. He criticizes you
vocally on most things you do and say. He cannot be killed by conventional means.
19. Your mother appears with a switch to punish you for missing curfew, you dare not speak ill to
your mother.
20. You are mistaken for another, and are handed a safe-box filled with (appropriate amount) of gold.