As Barbara slept beside him, his own eyes wouldn't shut, frustration and fear

eating him inside like acid. His hand unconsciously returning to where she touched
him. It was such a small touch. So fleeting.
God, he had promised himself he would not indulge those thoughts anymore. He had
been trying so hard. And now he had even dragged Babs to this. The disgust that
filled his mouth was bitter, hard to swallow. But he really thought, he truly
believed that she, and the feelings they once shared, the powerful pull of the
first love could steal his heart back.
Yet, even after having Babs hands all over him the touch that still remained
engraved to his skin was that of the points of her fingers. Kory made him a man he
never believed he could be. A man that felt he could rewrite Shakespeare about a
woman. Her eyes were like the sun, and a summer's day could only fail in
comparison of the warmth of her smile. Such was his fixation that one single moment
became a whole movie inside his head. There was so much material in between, no
chance ro skin to meet, his armour, her long gloves. Somehow, he still felt it,
her. And he knew it had nothing to do with how just a few moments after that same
touch would become lethal in a way that made literal sense instead of just the last
obsession of his yearning ridden brain.
Since then, the scene kept replaying under his eyelids, rentlessly. Or worse,
bringing him back there, the memory becoming an entirely new thing. Locking in him
inside another of his fantasies.
There is no Gotham there, no Jason, no Bruce, not witnesses when he pulls her
gloves with his teeth, her eyes darkening with desire as he kisses her palm, her
free hand grabbing his head by the roots of his hair in such a demanding way that
that constriction of his tight armour hurts. She could kill him with her fire, yet
the blows life through his lips.
And then he's back to his childhood bed, next to another woman.
He was no stranger to insomnia and the night terrors were so common he mostly
didn't mind them anymore. But that was worse, because even after being inside of a
woman who deserved so much better than being used by him, he was already betraying
her, lying there by her side in flesh only, while his mind was trapped in a state
of self-hatred and vivid dreams about a woman he couldn't have.
Kory would leave soon, he knew, she quite literally didn't belong to his world.
When she told him, three months ago, the only thing he was grateful for was that
she, wise as always, chose to tell him in private, before sharing with the rest of
the family.
It had in no way of form being easy to keep his cool in front of just Kory - it was
very hard ro keep his cool in front of her even when she was not telling him she
was Crown Princess of an entire planet elsewhere - but he was considering not
having been surprised in front of his whole family a small mercy.
The most terrifying thing about Kory, far than her super strength or starfire, it
was the way she could just read him as if all his training was time wasted.
Sometimes he even wondered if she was really psychic, but he had been too ashamed
to ask.
She avoided his eyes that day, as if she was ashamed too. Of bringing another
problem after the hell they had been gone through. He knew she had been struggling
with shame concerning the mission that brought her to Earth. He wondered if was
that what made her stay away. Kory was proud, but somehow it didn't look like a
flaw in her, but it made him cower, there was so much he wanted to ask, to know
about her. But as she told him her story, hands nervously playing with her rings,
plump shimmering lips moving with each word, his throat closed. The ability to talk
a long lost dream.
And when she ended her tale, he could see she waited for something, anything.
Sadness and disappointment clouding her eyes after he just stood there, frozen. She
smiled softly, and touched his chest before leaving the room. He could remember
following her movements with his eyes. He coud see and feel with deatail the
alternative timeline in which he reached for her, pulled her to his arms and told
her that it didn't matter who she was, where she was from, why she came to Earth.
He was in love with her, like he never thought it was possible, and there was no
way he'd let anyone hurt her or take her away.
But he didn't.
And as he watched her walk away, swinging her hips in that way that made his
thoughts slow to the cadence of her movements, he closed his eyes hard. Making his
decision on spot. Of course he couldn't tell her, pursue her, even dream... The
time they shared was stolen, and not much remained. Of course, there was no way
heaven would be missing it's special angel forever. Of course, there was no chance,
and it had been arrogantly naive of him to even wish.
She had done it again, grazed two fingers, across his heart. And although he was
not stupid, and knew there was nothing more to ir in hee mind. It was a
as if she was mocking him. Going back to the scene of the crime, savoring the
hallowing emptiness, evidence of her victory. Emptiness that would only grow and
swallow him whole when she'd return to where she belonged and he could not follow.

My own super-power is making excuses for this asshole Dick Grayson.