Att

hef
li
psi
deofkar
ma

I
ntr
o1

Somet imeswegot hroughsomanyt hingsin

l
ifebecausewedeci dedt ot aket hewr ongpath
i
nl ife.Doweev erst opt ot hi
nkhowi twi l
laff
ect
uswhenwemi streatot herpeopl e.May bethe
probl emswegot hroughi nli
fear ebecauseof
thepai nwecauseot herpeopl e.Nooner eall
y
get sawaywi thbei ngev il.Allthisthought sgo
throughmyheadasIsi tont hebedl ookingat
pictur eofhi
m andanot hergi r
l ki
ssing.Ihav e
criedsomucht hatInol ongerhav eanyt ears
l
ef t.I'
m drai
nedandt i
rednotknowi nghowIgot
her e.

"Mommydon'tcr
y"say
smyt woyearol
d
daught
erassheatt
emptst
ocleanmytear
s
wi
thhert
inyhands.I
'
mj ustcomplet
elybr
oken.
MynameisEmi l
yLoganandt hi
sismystory
[
03/
03,
18:
14]Ron:
Att
hef
li
psi
deofkar
ma

I
nser
tone

#Emi
l
y

Mynamei sEmi l
yLogan,Iam 17y earsold.My
mom i scoloredandmydadi sabl ackman
fr
om Br azil
.Ili
vewi t
hmymot her,
mypar ent
s
div
or cedwhenIsi xyear
sold.Ihavet wo
si
blings,mybr otherAnthonyheismar ri
edand
l
ivi
ngi nJohannesbur gwithhiswifeand3ki ds
andmyol dersisterBeautywhostill
liveswit
h
us.Shei solderthenme, shefail
edgr ade11a
coupleoft i
messoshedeci dedtodr opoutof
school andlookf orwork.
Iwoul dn'tsayt hatIcomef r
om apoorf amily
becauseIhadal l
Ineededgrowingup.My
mot herwor kedhar dtoprovi
deforus.Ialways
toldmy sel
ft hatIwouldnevermar ryamanl i
ke
myf atherbecausehewasawomani zer
.Hehad
somanyki dsf rom di
ffer
entwomenandhe
treatedmymom r eal
l
ybad.Ihav eafewf r
iends
butmybestf r
iendisRonda.Idon'thavea
boy fri
endbecauseIr eall
ydon'thaveti
mef or
boy s.

I
twasMondaymorni
ngt
hefir
stdayofschool
.I
waswokeuptomymom shout
ingmyname.
Mom: Emywakeupy
ouar
egoi
ngt
obel
atef
or
school
.
Me:(
groani
ng)pl
easemom,
giv
eme5mor
e
mostminut
es.
Ei
shI'
mr eall
ynotamor ni
ngper
son.I
tsal
ways
astr
uggleformet owakeupinthemorni
ng.I
movedtheduv ett
ocovermyfacewhenmy
mom openthecurt
ainstoletsunl
i
ghtin.I
suddenl
yfel
tcol
dwat erspl
ashallov
erme.

Me:
whatt
hef
..
.
Beaut
y:sayi
tandI
'm gonnagi
vey
ouhotsl
ap.
Getupmom saidy
oumustbeoutin30min.

Isl
owlygotoutofbedcur si
ngundermybr eath.
Iwenttotakethequi
ckestshowerknownt o
mankind.Il
oti
onedmybodyandwor emy
schooluni
for
m.Ilookedmy sel
finthemi rr
or
andIlookedli
kewoopyGol dberginsisteract.
Geezmymom boughtt hel ongestskir
tshe
couldfi
nd.It
ookmybagandheadedt ot he
ki
tchentoeatmycereal.Iputthebowl inthe
si
nk.

Beaut
y:heyemyI'
m noty
ourmai
d,comeand
washthatbowl
now.
Imadear unforit
,Icouldsti
ll
hearhershouti
ng
andIstoppedandjustlaughedmylungsoff.I'
m
stupi
dIknow.Isangall t
hewaytoschool (
I
didn'
thaveaphonet oli
stentomusic)
.Iwalked
toschoolbecausemyschool wasnear.

"Wowlookwhoi
sear
lyt
oday
,what
'
sthe
occasi
on?
"
Av oi
cecamefrom behi
nd,
Iturnedar
oundto
fi
ndRondalooki
ngatmewi thanamusedlook
onherface.
Me:hi
toyout
oo,
ifyoumustknowI'
m pl
anni
ng
onbei
ngonmybestbehav
iourt
hisy
ear.
Ronda:
yeahright
,that
'swhatyousai
dlasty
ear
andyoubunkedhalfoftheyear
.
Me:
scr
ewy
ouRonda.
Icouldsti
llr
emembert hebeatingIgotf r
om my
mom whenshef oundoutthatIwasbunki ng
school.Thatwomani sevi
lItellyou.She
whippedmef rom myclass,allthewayt i
llwe
gothome.If l
inchedj
ustthi
nkingabouti t
.Iwas
broughtbackf r
om mythoughtswhent hebel
l
rang.

Wewentt otheassemblyandt hepri

ncipal
star
tedtalki
ngandIimmedi atelydr
if
tedintomy
ownt houghtsunti
lIheardthi
sbeautif
ul voi
ce
si
ngingagospel song.Itfel
tli
keangelswher e
comingdownf r
om heaven.

Isl
owlyl
ookedupandIf
rozewhenourey
es
met.
..
[
03/
03,
18:
14]Ron:
Att
hef
li
psi
deofkar
ma

I
ntr
oduct
ion
Hav eyoueversatdownandt houghtt hatkarma
i
soutt ogety ou?Hav ey oueverfeltl
iket he
skelet
onsofy oupastar ejustoutt odest roy
you?Hav eyouev erthoughtthaty oudon' t
deserveloveorhappi nessbecauseoft hebad
thi
ngsy ouhav edonei nthepast?Wel l Ifeelal
l
thosethingsandsomuchmor e.I'
m br ought
backtor eal
it
ybyt hesoundofhi svoice...

John:whatgiv
esy
out
her
ightt
ogot
hroughmy
phoneEmily?
Me: Idi
dn'tgot
hroughyourphone,amessage
camet hroughwhenIfounditonthebedandI
readit.
John:
youhav
enorightt
oopenmymessages,
i
tsmyphonenoty
ours.
Me:t
hat
snotthepoi
ntj
ohn,
youar
echeat
ing
onme.WhyJohn?
Iaskedhi
m,wi
thmyv
oicef
ail
i
ngme.Hej
ust
l
ookedatme.
Me:todayi
smybi r
thdayjohn,
Iwassupposeto
behappybutIhadtofindoutthaty
oucheat
ing
onme.
Tearsjustst
reameddown.Ij ustcouldnothold
them anymore.Hedidn'
tevent rytocomfortme,
hest oodup,
tookhi
scarkey sandwakedout .
Assoonast hedoorclosedIl etoutaloudsob.
Thepai nwasjustt
oomuchf ormet obar
e.
Howcansomeonecl aim helovesy oubutthe
treatyousobad?

Icri
edunt
ilIhadnomor et ears,Istoopupand
l
ookedmysel fint hemi
rror.Myey eswasal l
swoll
enandr ed.HowdidIgether e?I'
m gett
ing
aheadofmy self
,letmetakey outowher eitall
began.
[
03/
03,
18:
14]Ron:
Att
hef
li
psi
deofkar
ma
I
nser
ttwo

#Emi
l
y

Helookedsoheav enl
yandt hatvoi
cegav eme
butt
er fl
iesi
nmyt ummy .Forami nutethere
ever
y onedisappearedandjusthim andIwer e
l
eftint heassemblyhall
.Idi
dn'tevennoticethat
hefi
ni shedsingi
ng.
Ronda:
snapoutofi
temy(
snappi
ngherf
inger
s
atme)let
'
sgoweup.
Me:
huh?
Iwassodumf ounded,Icouldn'tevenr emember
mynameorwher eIwasunt ilIheardpeople
chantingdest
iny,dest
iny.Ipulledmy self
togetherandrushedtothest age.Iam t hel
ead
singeroftheschoolchoircall
eddest iny.I
cannotexplai
nhowIf eel whenIsi ng,the
f
eel
i
ngi
sjustoutoft
hiswor
ld.

Ronda:wowthatwasawesome,wenai
l
edi
t.
(Shefr
owned)what'
supwit
hyou?
Me:
who?Me?
Ronda:notheper
sonbehi
ndyou..
.Ofcour
se
you.Youacti
ngweir
dert
henusual
.
Me:not
hing,
ijustcan'
twai
tforthi
syearto
f
ini
shsoIcanleavethi
sGodf or
sakenplace.
Weliv
ei nasmallplacenearkler
sdorp,don'
tget
mewr ongit
snotlikeweliveinshacksor
any
thingli
kethatbutthi
splaceisjustsobori
ng.
Wejusthaveasmal lmallandIthere'
shardl
y
any
thingtodo.

Ronda:
tel
lmeabouti
t,Ij
ustcan'
twai
t.
Me:
Doy
ouknowt
hatguyt
hatsangbef
oreus?
Ronda:
why
?Doy
oul
i
kehi
m?Dontt
hinkIdi
dn'
t
seet
hewayy
ouwher
edr
ool
i
ngov
erhi
m.
Me: don'
tbestupi
d,Iwasjustaski
ngbecause
yourboyfr
iendusual
lyl
eads.
Ronda:
JaIknowany
waywhat
swi
tht
heext
ra
l
ongskir
t?
Me:
mxm y
ouknowmymot
herhappened.
Ronda:
dontworryI'
l
l t
aketothatguythatcuts
myskir
taf
terschool.Ican'
tbewalki
ngar ound
wit
hanun,i
m stil
ltr
yingtobepopular
.
Me:l
et'
sgot ocl
assdontwannami
sst
he
Engl
i
shlesson.

Wewal kedquickl
ytocl assandsatdown.The
Englishteachercamei nandst art
edt eachi
ng.I
tr
iedsohar dtoconcent ratebutIjustfound
my selfthi
nki
ngoft hatmy ster
yguy .Withhis
bl
ackcur l
yhair
,pi
nklipshei ssohandsome.
Snapoutofi temily,Isaidtomy self
.Youdont
needanydest ructi
onbesi desguysl i
kehim are
badnews.

Breaktimecameandwewentt ogetsomet hing

toeat.Ial
way shadt oshar ewithRonda
becauseherst epmot hernev ergi
v esherlunch.
Somet i
messheandhersi sterwil
lgot obed
hungry.If
eltt
osor ryformyf ri
end,hersit
uation
alwaysremindsmehowl uckyIam t ohavemy
mom ev enthoughshe' ssuperst r
ict.Wewent
tositbyourusual spot,webusyeat i
ngand
l
aughingaboutst upidthings.

Fr
ed:
RondacanIpl
easet
alkt
oyou?
Fredi sr
onda'ssocalledboy f
riend,t
heyhave
beendat i
ngf orsomet i
menowbutIdon' tli
ke
him becausehet reat
sherv erybad.Partofthe
reasonIdon'twantaboy f
ri
endi sbecauseof
howIseet hewomeni nmyl i
febeingtr
eatedby
theirmen.Itsbetterf
ormet obeal onethenbe
treatedl
iketrash.
Ronda:doy
our
emembert
hatguywhosang
today
?
Me:
who?
Ronda:
comeon,
theguywhosangbef
oreus.
Me:ohIfor
gotabouthi
m(li
arsaidIvoi
cei
nmy
headandIbrushedi
tof
f)whatabouthi
m?
Ronda:
hesai dyoumustwai
tforhi
m att
he
gat
eafterschool
.
ThebellrangbeforeIgotachancet oanswer,
wehurriedtoclass.Iwassoangr y.Whodoes
hethi
nkhei sorderingmelikethat.Ihav
ebett
er
thi
ngstodot henwai tf
orhim aft
erschool.
WhenIseehi m, I
'm gonnagivehim apeaceof
mymi nd.Hewi l
lknowmet oday.

Aft
erschoolasIwasmaki
ngmywayt ot he
gate,
Ifel
tsomeonepul
lmef r
om behi
nd.I
tur
nedaroundandhewasstandi
ngsmili
ngat
mer
eveal
i
nghi
sdi
mpl
es.OhGodhei
ssocut
e.

Hi
m:hi
Icouldn'
tut
terasinglewor
d.Ij
ustst
oodthere
stari
ngathi
m.Gr eat!nowhe'
sgonnathi
nkI'
ma
retar
d.
[
03/
03,
18:
14]Ron:
Att
hef
li
psi
deofkar
ma

I
nser
tThr
ee

#Emi
l
y

Hel ookedatmef orsomet i

meandt ookmy
bagandst ar
tedwal ki
ng.Iwasbroughtbackto
reali
tyandangert ookov er
.Istar
tedwalki
ng
afterhim unt
ilIcaughtupwi t
hhim.Ipushed
him withallmyf orce,
Iwasnowf umi
ng.
Me:
whodothi
nkyouaretaki
ngmybagj
ustl
i
ke
t
hat
?Di
dItel
lyout
hatIcannot.
..
Befor eIcoul dfinishmysent enceheki ssedme.
Hisl i
pswher esosof tandj uicy.If
el tl
ikeIwas
fl
oat i
ngont hecl ouds.Ijustst oodt herenot
mov i
ngt akinginhi sscent .Hesmel ledsogood.
Iclosesmyey esandr espondedt ot hekiss,I
hav en'tdonet hisbef orebutIj ustdecidedt ogo
witht hef l
ow.Hebr oketheandIf eltli
keapar t
ofmewast akenawayf r
om me.Bef oreIcould
evenr egisterandr espondt owhatj ust
happened, hest artedtowal kaway .Ijuststood
therewat chinghim wal k,forsomer easonIwas
holdingmybr eath.Ijustexhal edasIf elt
someonemaki ngnoi sebehi ndmeandIj ust
knewi twasRonda.

Ronda:
hmm sohowwasi
t.
Me:di
sgusti
ng,
Idon'twannatalkabout
.That
guyi
sjustsoar
rogant.Idon'
tl
ikehim.
Ronda:comeonmyfr
iendj
ustgi
vet
heguya
chance.Hel
ooksl
i
keaniceguy.
Me:
justl
i
keFr
edhey
.
Shekeptqui et
.Ever
ytimeIwannashutRonda
up,Ijusttal
kedaboutFredandshekeepsqui
et.
Idon'tknowwhatshei ssti
l
ldoi
ngwithhim.He
i
sal owl i
fethatonl
ycall
sherwhenhewantsto
getlaid.
Ronda: OKenough,l
et'
sgohomesoIcan
changet hewegonnataket
hatski
rtt
ogett
o
getitcut.

Iwaswai ti
ngf orRondat ochangesowecoul d
togomypl acet ochangeandeat .Ronda
alwaysateatmypl aceaf terschoolbecause
herstepmotheronl ygav eherf oodinthe
eveningwhenherf atherishome.Shesoon
cameoutandwewal kedt omypl acewhilewe
wer ebusysingingsol oud.Igothome, It
ooka
quickshower ,moisturi
sedmybodyandawor e
atightabovethekneedenim ski
rt
,abl
ouseand
whitesandal.It
ookmyslingbagandputmy
schoolskir
tandmybi bl
einsi
de.

Todaywasy outhgat her

ingandIam t hespokes
person.Icomef r
om aChr ist
ianfamil
yandas
wayofkeepi ngmebusy ,mymom enr ol
ledinal
l
theacti
vit
iesf oryouthinthechurch.Iwentto
thekit
chent of i
ndRondaandbeaut ygivi
ng
eachotherdirtystares.Iwasi nnomoodt oask
whatwasgoi ngonsoIj ustwentt odishup.I
satdownandwebot hate,Iwashedmypl ate
andwel eft.

Wewentt othel
adywhowasgoingtocutmy
ski
rtandshemeasuredme.Idi
dn'
twantitt
oo
short
,welef
titt
her
e.Iwasgonnapicki
tupon
mywayhome.
Weal wayshadal eadershi
pmeet i
ngbef ore
star
ti
ngt heyout
hser vi
ce.Wegott hechur ch
andwer eearl
ysowesatout si
detalki
ngwhen
someonej ustcl
earedtheirt
hroatandIlooked
upandi twasthathotti
e.Wait,washef oll
owing
me?

Unedi
ted
[
03/
03,
18:
14]Ron:
Att
hef
li
psi
deofkar
ma

I
nser
tfour

#Emi
l
y

Hi
m:CanIj
ustt
alkt
oyoupl
ease.
Me:noIdon'
twantt
otalkt
oyouandIdon'
tfi
nd
i
tfl
att
eri
ngthaty
oufol
l
owingmearound.
Hej
ustl
aughed,
ohmywor
dthosedi
mpl
es
wher etodi ef or.Godr eall
yt ookhistime
creatinghi m.Whatwashappeni ngt ome,I
neverf el
tl i
ket hisforanyguy .Myey es
voluntarydr i
ftedt ohisl i
ps.Ihadgoosebumps
j
ustt hinki
ngofhowi tf el
twhenheki ssedme.
OhGodpl easehel pmeIt hinkI'mlosingmy
mind.Idi dn'tev ennot i
cet hattheotheryouth
l
eader sandt hepr esidenthadal readyarr
ived.
Pr
es:
comeonev
ery
onel
et'
sgoi
n.
Ittookallt
heener gyinmet oturnar oundand
startwalki
ng.Ourmeet ingst ar
tedandi twas
j
ustt heusualandt hepresidentintroducedt he
newl eader
sandhot t
iewaspar tifthem, j
ust
great.WhenIt houghtthatitcoul dn'
tgetany
wor sethepresidentannouncedt hatIhaveto
teachtheguyal laboutbeingaspokesper son
becausehewasgonnabewor kingwi thme.

Theyout
hserv
icef
ini
shed,
wehadsomuchfun.
Isai
dthecl
osi
ngpray
erandweheadedhome.
RondaandIwerebusywal
ki
ngwhenMatt
hew
(wel
lthatwashi
sname)camer
unni
ngtous.
Matt
:Ronday
oucangohome,
I'
ll
wal
kher
home.
Me:Idon'
tneedany
onespeaki
ngf
ormepl
usI
knowmywayhomet hankyou.
Mat
t:Ij
ustwantustopl
anonhowy
ougonna
bet
rai
ningmethat'
sal
l.
Me:
OKf
inebutnof
unnybusi
ness.

IsaidmygoodbyestoRondaandwewal king.
Hewast el
li
nghowhe'smot herdiedandhis
stepmotherwasmaltr
eati
nghi m sohehadt o
comeandst aywi
thhisauntwhoi sFred'
s
mother.Wepassedbytogof etchmyskirtand
thenwestoppedtwohousesawayf r
om my
house.

Mat
t:socanwemeett
omor
rowaf
terschool
so
y
oucanst
artt
het
rai
ning.
Me:
sur
ewher
ewi
l
lwemeet
.
Hi
m:byt
hepar
k.
Hepeckedmeont hel i
psandwal kedaway.It
all
happenedsof astthatIdi dn'
tgetti
met osay
anythi
ng.Iwenthome, Idi dmyhomewor k,
showered,
atedinnerthenIwentt osl
eep.Ilai
d
i
nmybedandal lIcouldt hinkofwasMat t'
sli
ps.
Ihadtopullmyselftogether ,t
hisi
sthelast
thi
ngIneed.

Twomont
hsl
ater

Iwashav i
ngsomuchf unwi t
hmat t
,hewasso
funnyandsmar t
.Wewoul dspendhour staki
ng
andlaughi
ng.Iguessy ouwonder inghowwe
gotherehey.WellIstart
edtrai
ninghi mtobea
spokespersonatfir
stwewoul djusttal
kabout
theyouthserv
iceandt hat'
sitthenont hedayI
fi
nishedtr
aininghi
m heconvincedt
ogogeti ce
cream wit
hhim asat hanky
ou.WellIhesit
ated
atfir
stbutthenIagreed.Wegottotal
kingandI
reali
zedwehadal otincommon.Wehav ebeen
fri
endseversince.

I
twasMondayeveni
ngandhewaswal ki
ngme
homefrom t
hey
outhser
vicewhenhesuddenl
y
j
ustst
opped.

Matt
:wehav
ebeenhangi
ngaroundt
oget
herf
or
someti
meandIt
hinkI
'mfal
l
ingfory
ouemm.
Me:
..
..
Mat
t:Ir
eal
l
ywanty
out
omemygi
rl
fr
iend.
Me: whymemat t
?Yout hemostpopularguyi
n
schoolandgi
rl
sjustt
hrowthemselvesatyou.
 
Matt:
becausey
ounotl
i
keot
hergi
rl
s,y
ou
speci
al.
Me:
Idon'
twantt
ogethur
tmat
t,pl
ease.
Mat
t:Iwoul
dnev
erhur
tyou.
Me:
youpr
omi
se?
Mat
t:Ipr
omi
se.

Ij
ustnoddedandhecamecl osetome,hehel d
mywai st.Hi
smout hwassoclosetomine,I
cl
osedmyey esandhekissedme.Iheard
angel
ssi ngi
nmyhead.Itwasmagi cal
.After
somet i
mehebr okethekissbuthewasstill
hol
dingmywai st,t
hankGodbecausemyl egs
werejell
y.
[
03/
03,
18:
14]Ron:
Att
hef
li
psi
deofkar
ma

I
nser
tsi
x

#Emi
l
y
"Let
'scel
ebr
ateyourbi
rt
hdaytoget
hert
he
whol
eweekend.Gotabigsurpr
isef
oryou."

Ij
ustreadthatoverandoveragai n.Afterthe
i
niti
alexci
tementworeof,Ireali
zedt hatmy
motherwouldnev eri
nherli
feagr eetot hat.I
wassosadt hroughoutmycl asses,Ireally
wantedtospendt heweekendwi thhim.Ibar el
y
managedt oconcentr
ateonmyt eacher s.Break
ti
mewewer esit
ti
ngandeat i
ngqui etlywi t
h
Ronda.

Ronda:whyyousoquiet
?todayi
syourbi
rt
hday
yousupposetobehappy.
Me: mat
twantsustospendtheweekend
toget
hertocel
ebr
atemybirt
hday.Hesayshe
hasagreatsur
pri
seforme.
Ronda:so?That'
sgoodnews.Youshoul
dbe
happyaboutthat
.
Me:yout
alkingasyoudon'
tknowmymot her
,
shewoul
dn'tevenl
etmesleepaty
ourhouse.
Ronda:
youcoul
dli
etoher
.
Me:
li
eaboutwhat
?
Ronda:wel
lyoucant
ellhert
heyouthl
eader
s
aregoi
ngtocampthisSatur
dayandwewill
comebackSunday.
Me:thatjustmightword,
weusual
lydot
hat,
so
Idoubtthatshewill
feelt
heneedt
ogoask.You
agenius.
Ronda:
anyt
hingt
omakey
ouhappy
,youknowI
l
oveyou.
Me:
ohIl
ovey
out
oo.

IsentMattatextl
etti
nghim knowt hatIwil
l
meethim Satur
day.DidIment i
onIhav ea
phonenow?Wel lIdo.Wewentbackt oclass
andthedaywentbyasabr eeze.Iwenthome, I
showeredthenworemypy jamasandIwentt o
eat.Iaskedmymom andshesaidyes.Wow
thatwaseasy .Iwentt
obedwi
thahugesmil
e
onmyf ace.

SaturdaycameandIwor kupear l
y,Icleaned
thehouseandt henImadebr eakfastfor
everyone.Wehadbr eakfastwhi l
ediscussi ng
nothingimpor t
ant.Ithenwashedt hedi shes
andcl eanedthekitchen.WhenIwasdoneI
wentt otakeanext ralongshower ,Ithen
packedmyov ernightbag.Idr essedi nal ong
blackskirtandar edblousebutIwasgonnago
changewheni gett oRonda'shouse.It i
edmy
hairandIputmyhaton.Ihadt obeconv inci
ng.
Iwentt osaygoodby etomymom.Iputmy
earphonesonandIwal kedtor onda'shouse
whilelist
eningtomusi c.

Igott
oronda'
scri
bandj
ustknockedandher
stepmot
heropenedt
hedoor.Ismil
edand
greet
edbutshedi
dn'
trespond,
i
nst
ead 
she
shoutedf
orRondaandshecameoutandwe
wenttoherr
oom.

Me:
what
'
swi
thdr
agonl
adyt
oday
?
Ronda:mydadisonleave,
nowshemust
pr
etendtol
ikeusandplusshe'
sdoi
ng
ever
ythi
ngathome.
Me:i
tserv
esherri
ght,y
ourdadshoul
dbeon
l
eav
et hewhol
eyear.
Wej ustlaughedandwet alkedaboutsi ll
ythings
whileIwasget tingpr
epared.Iwor et
ightf i
tti
ng
sleevel
essdr essandapai rofbl ackheels.They
wer enewIboughtt hem onThur sdaywi t
ht he
birt
hdaymoneymydadsentme.Icur ledmy
l
ongbl ackhai r
.Iputonsomel ightmakeupand
redlipsti
ck.Ilookedmy selfinthemi r
rorandI
l
ookedgor geous.Mattt
ol dmeImustdr ess
formalbecausewewi l
lhav edinneratt his
housesincehewasal onef ortheweekend.
WhenIwasdone,
Itext
edhim andhecamet o
pi
ckmeupintheoldToyot
acoroll
athathi
s
uncl
egav
ehim.

Bythewayhi
sey eswhereonmeIknewInailed
i
t.Wegottohi
shouseandhegotof fandcame
toopenmydoor.Ifel
tli
keapri
ncess.We
walkedt
othedoor,heopenedi
twhenIgotin
all
Icoul
dsayisWOW.
[
03/
03,
18:
14]Ron:
Att
hef
li
psi
deofkar
ma

I
nser
tfi
ve

#emi
l
y

Wet al
kedforsometimeandkissedsomemore
thenhelef
t.Igothomeandfoundmymot her
andsist
ereati
ngdinner
.
Me:
eveni
ngf
ami
l
y.
Them:
eveni
ng.
Mom: Iseeyoucominglat
efr
om yout
h
gat
heringthi
sdays,
Ihopeyoudon'
thavea
boyf
ri
end.
Me:
comeonmom,
aft
eral
lyousai
daboutboy
s,
menev
er.
Mom Ihopesoemybecausei
fyouget
pr
egnant,
youar
eoutofmyhouse.
Me:don'
twor
rymom not
hingi
sgonnahappenI
pr
omise.
 
Mom:
bet
ter
.

Mymom canbeapai nsomet i

mesbutIst i
ll
l
ovedhert hough.Iwenttotalkalonghot
shower.Imagesofmat tkissi
ngmekept
appeari
ngi nmyheadsendi ngshiversallover
mybody .Ijusthadtohonestwithmy sel
f.Ihad
fal
lendeepf orhi
m.Ijustsmiledthinkingofhim.
Hecompl et
esme,IwonderhowIsur
viv
ed17
year
swithouthi
m.Ij
oinedmyfamil
yfordi
nner
andlat
erIwenttosl
eepwithahugesmil
eon
myface.

Iwokeear l
ythenextdayandgotreadyf
or
schoolandIwenttothekit
chentoeat
breakf
ast.Icoul
dheremymom scr eami
ngmy
namei nthepassage.
Me:
mom I
'
mint
heki
tchen.
Mom:
(looki
ngatmewei
rd)whyy
ouupsoear
ly?
Me:
I'
m exci
tedt
ogot
oschool
.
Mom rushedtomeandputt
hepal
m ofher
handonmyf orehead.
Mom:
arey
ouOKbaby
,doy
ouhav
eaf
ever
?
Mymom canbesuchadr amaqueen
somet
imes.Iguessbeaut
yitgotf
rom her
.
Me:
comeonmom I
'
mfi
ne.
Mom: sor
rybabybutI
'mj
ustnotusedtosee
youwakeupwi t
houtmehavi
ngtodragyouout
ofbed.
Ihuggedmymom andmademywayoutoft he
housewithherst i
l
lst
ari
ngatme.Iwalkedtwo
housesdownandImetwi t
hmat t,
hewas
wait
ingforme.Wewal kedtoschoolhavi
nga
si
ll
yconv ersat
ionandj
ustl
aughing.Wegotto
schoolandsaidourgoodbyesandwewentt o
ourdif
ferentcl
asses.

Isetdown,ourt
eacherwasnoti
nandRonda
camet osi
tbesi
deme.
Ronda:
Ihar
dlyseey
out
heseday
s.
Me:comeonweseeeachot
her
,it
sjustmat
t
al
wayswant
stobear
oundme.
Ronda:heactsl
i
keshe'
syourboy
fri
endor
something.
 
Ij
ustbl
ushed.
Ronda:
wai
tar
eyouguy
sdat
ing?
Me:
yes.
Ronda:It
houghty
ousaidy
ouj
ustf
ri
endsand
thaty
ounotint
oboys.
Me:wel
li
tjusthappenedplusyout
heonewho
t
oldmetogivehim achanceremember
?
Ronda:Iknowbuty oushouldbreakupwi
thhi
m,
guysli
kehimjustwantt ousewomanand
dumpedt hem.Idon'twanttoseeyouhur
t.
Me: matti
snotli
kethat,
hei
sver
ysweetand
I
'm sur
ehewi l
lneverhur
tme.
Ronda:
mxm sui
tyour
selfbutdon'
tcomecr
ying
tomewhenhedumpsy ou.

Justl
i
kethatshewalkedawayandsheav
oided
meallthr
oughbreakti
me.

Aweekl
ater
Iwokeupandgotr eadyf orschool .Itwasmy
bi
rthdayandwhenIwentt otheki tchenmy
mom andmysi sterstart
edsi nginghappy
bi
rthday.Eishtheyar esosweet .Mymom gav e
meapr esent.Iopenedi tandi twasaSamsung
gal
ax yS3, Ij
ustscreamedandwentt ohugmy
mom.Iwassoexci t
ed.Ihav enev erhada
phoneofmyownbef ore.Weat ecakeandI
wentt oschool.

Mat
t:happybi
rt
hdaybaby
 
Heki
ssedmeandhegav
emeacar
d.
Me:
thanksbaby
.
Matt
:don'
treadt
hecar
dyetbaby
,readi
twhen
yougotocl
ass.
Rondamadeherwayt
ous.
Ronda:
emycanIpl
easet
alkt
oyou?
Me:ok,
byebabe(Isai
dheadi
ngt
othecl
ass
wi
thRonda)
.
Ronda:I
'm sor
rymyfri
endIdi
dn'
tmeant
oact
thatwaybutIj
ustdon'
twannaseey
ouhurt
.
Me:it
sfi
neIfor
giv
eyou.Don'
twor
rymat
twi
l
l
nev
erhurtme.
Wasi tj
ustmeordidshej
ustr
oll
herey
esatme
bef
oresmi l
i
ng.AnywayIj
ushuggedmyfr
iend,
Imissedher.
Ronda:
happybir
thdaymyf
ri
end(shehanded
meachocolat
e)
Me:
thanksl
ove.

Wesatdownincl
assandIdeci
dedt
oread
Mat
t'
scard.
Me:OMW (ever
yonetur
nedt
olookatme,
didI
j
ustsayt
hatsoloud?
)
[
03/
03,
18:
14]Ron:
Att
hef
li
psi
deofkar
ma
I
nser
tei
ght

#emi
l
y

Mymom j ustbur stedi ntotheroom asIwas

quicklyget t
ingdr essed.Shewassof ur
iousand
Ifeltsoashamed.Shedr aggedmeoutoft hat
househal fnakedandst art
edbeat i
ngmef rom
thatplaceunt ilwegothome.Somuchf ornot
hangingonesdi r
tyl aundryinpublic.People
cameoutoft heirhousest oseemescr eami ng.
Iwassohumi liated.WhenwegothomeIj ust
wenti nt
omyr oom andIcr i
edmy selftosleep.I
wokei nt hemor ningwi t
hamassi veheadache, I
j
ustst aredatcei lingf eeli
ngtoashamedt oev en
getoutofmyr oom.Ineededt ohearmat t'
s
voice,soIt ookmyphoneandcal l
edhi m.Hi s
phoner angandnoanswer .May behei sjust
sleepingorbusy .Icl osedmyey esregrett
ing
whyIevenagreedtothatdat
eint
hefir
stpl
ace.
Iheardmymom screamingmynameand
secondsl
atershewasbangingonthedoor
.

Mom:EmilyTani
aLogan,
yougetoutoft
hat
r
oom r
ightnow.
Istoodupqui ckl
ybecauseIknowever
ytime
shecallmebymyf ul
lnameshemeans
business.Iworemygownandwentt othe
l
oungewher eshewassitt
ingwit
hbeauty
.
Mom:youareadi
sgr
acetot
hisf
amily.What
camei
ntoyourmi
ndtodosuchathi
ng?
Me:
I'
m Sor
r.
..
.
Mom:shutupEmil
y,don'tmakememor eangr
y
t
henIam.Didyouatleastusedpr
otect
ion.
Me:
...
.
Mom: Ij
ustaskedy
ouaquest
iondammi
t,
answerme?
Me:
Idon'
tknow.
Mom:youdon'
tknow?Idi
dn'
tknowy
ouaret
his
st
upi
d.HowhaveIfai
l
edyouasamother
?
Mymom wasnowcr y
ing.Icoul
dn'thandlemy
mom beingangr ybutseeinghercryreall
ybroke
myheart.Itfi
nal
lyhitmet hatIdidmessup.I
don'
tevenknowi fmattusedacondom ornot .
WhatifIfell
pregnant.Ireal
lyneedtotalkto
hi
m. 
Beaut
y:l
it
tl
emi ssperfecti
snowbi
tchi
ng
ar
ound.IneverthoughtI'
dseet
heday.
Ij
ustl ookedatherandsaidnothi
ng.Iwentto
myr oom, Itri
edtocal
lmattagainbutnothi
ng.
SoIsenthi m at
extt
ocallmeassoonashe
could.Icriedsomemor eandImi ghthav
efall
en
asl
eepbecauseIwaswokenupbymymom
shakingme.
Mom:
her
etaket
hispi
l
lsanddr
inkt
hem.
Ij
ustt
ookt
hepi
l
lsanddr
ankt
hem,
Ilookedat
mymom herey eswer eall r
edandswol l
en.I
tri
edt oapol ogisebi tshej ustshutmeoutand
wal kedoutofmyr oom.Ispentt hewholedayi n
myr oom, Ididn'tev engooutt oeat.Around
8pm Ist illhadn'trecei vednotev enat extfrom
mat t.Ijustwai t
edunt ilev ery
onewentt osl
eep.
Ithenwentt otheki tchent oeat.Iwouldjust
talkt omat tatschool .Ifiguredthathemi ghtbe
traumat izedf r
om l astni ght.Iwentt otakea
showeraf tereat i
ngandIwentst rai
ghttobed
tosl eep.

Iwokeupi nthemor ninganddidmynor mal

rout
ineandIgotdr essedforschool.Iwentto
eatmycereal andasIwasaboutt ol eavetogo
toschoolmymom sai dshewi l
ldr
opmeof f.I
gotinthecarandwedr ovesil
entl
y.ThankGod
myschool wasnearbecauseIwasf eel
ing
suff
ocatedinthecar.Whenwegott oschool
mymom t oldmet hatshewi ll
bedr oppi
ngme
andpicki
ngmef r
om school ever
yday .Imet
wi
thRondai
nmywayi
nsi
det
heschool
gat
e.

Ronda:
heywhatwast
hatall
about?I
syour
mom droppi
ngy
ouatschoolnow?
Me:ei
shmyf r
iend.Shi
thashitt
hef
ence.I
'
llt
ell
youal
labouti
tduringbr
eak.
 
Ronda:
what
everi
tis,
Iam sur
eitwi
thbeOK.
Shejustgavemet hewar mesthugever.I
'mjust
soblessedtohaveheri nmylif
e.Shejust
underst
andsandcompl et
esme.Thebel l
rang
andwewentt oclass.Classeswere
excr
uciati
ngl
ylong,thankGodbr eakt
imecame
andwewentt ositatourusualplaceaft
er
gett
ingsomethingtoeat .

Ronda:bef
oreIfor
get,
howwasthedat
e?Must
havebeenmagicalhey
.Di
dyouguysdoit
?
Itoldherever
ythi
ngt
hathappenedandshej
ust
l
istenedatt
enti
vel
y.
Ronda:I
'm sosorr
ymyf ri
end.Shewillf
orgi
ve
you.Sheisyourmothershecan'that
eyou
for
ever.
Me:Ijustdon'
tunder
standhowshef
oundout
whereIwas.
Ronda:Idon'
tknowhey
,nowt
ell
mehowwas
thesexthough.
Me:I
sthatall
youcoul
dthi
nkabout
?Ihav
e
bi
ggerpr
oblems.
Ronda:
comeonej
ustaf
ewdet
ail
spl
ease.

Iwasaboutt oansweruntilIhear
dmat t
l
aughing.IturnedaroundandIsawhi m wit
hhis
cousinandt wogirl
s.Nowismychancet otal
k
tohim.Istandupandgoov ertothem andthey
j
uststoppedt alki
ngwhentheysawme
approachi
ngt hem.
Me:
mat
tcanIpl
easet
alkt
oyou?
Mat
t:Iseey
oucan'
tgetbr
oughtoft
hedi
ck.
Theyj
ustl
aughedatme.
Me:
mat
tpl
easei
tsi
mpor
tant
.
Matt:Igotnot
hingt
otal
ktoy ouaboutEmil
y,
stopdist
urbi
ngme.I'
m spendingt
imewithmy
baby.
Hekissedoneofthegirl
sandIj
ustr
anoutof
t
herecryi
ng.IranpastRondawhowascal
li
ng
myname.Ir anall
thewayhome.
[
03/
03,
18:
14]Ron:
Att
hef
li
psi
deofkar
ma

I
nser
tsev
en

Thehouselookedsobeauti
ful
.Ther
ewasr ose
pedalsev
erywhere.Thecandl
eli
ghtdi
nnerwas
set.
 
Mat
t:comer
ightt
hiswaymyl
ady
.
Me:
thanky
oumyman.
It
houghtst
uffl
i
ket
hisonl
yhappensi
nmov
ies.
Mattwastheper
fectgent
leman.Thef
oodwas
sodel
ici
ous.
Mat
t:how'
sthef
ood.
Me:
breat
htaki
ng.
Mat
t:i
thast
obeIsl
avedi
ntheki
tchenal
lday
.
Me:
youdi
dn'
tcookt
his.
Mat
t:Idi
dandal
lbymy
sel
fifImayadd.
Me:notonl
yhandsomebutal
sohandy
.Hmm I
l
ike.
Mat
t:canIasksomet
hing?
Me:
yeasur
ebabe.
Mat
t:howcl
osear
eyouandRonda?
Me:wehavebeenfr
iendssi
ncewewerebabi
es,
herl
atemot
herandmymom wer ebeatf
ri
ends.
Mat
t:ohIsee 
Me:
ist
her
eanypr
obl
em?
Mat
t:no.
Icouldfeelthathewashi di
ngsomet hi
ngbutI
brusheditaway .Idi
dnotwantt odest r
oyour
eveningtogether.Wef i
nishedeati
ngwhi l
e
tal
kingaboutev eryt
hingandnot hi
ng.Wel at
er
wentt ohisroom towat chamov i
e.Hehad
boughtmyf av ori
temov ie"Awalktoremember".

Me:
wowbabey
our
emember
edmyf
avor
it
e
movi
e?
Mat
t:ofcour
seIdi
dmyl
ove.
 
Al
l Ididwasbl ush.Mattwassosweet .We
watchedt hemov iesi
lentl
y,thatmovi
ej ust
st
eer supsomuchemot ioninme.Ifelthim
wi
pemyt ear
sawaywi t
hhisf i
nger
.Ihadn't
evenr eali
sedthatIwascr yi
ng.Helookeddeep
i
nmyey esandIfeltmykneesweaken.  
Matt
:youar
esobeaut
if
ulandper
fect
.You
meantheworl
dtomeandIlov
eyou.
Iwassoshockedt ohearhi m sayt hat,myhear t
j
ustskippedabeat.BeforeIcoul dsayany t
hing,
hekissedmedeeply.Hiski ssesmakemel ose
mymi nd.Icoul
dhearthesong"r idei tbyjay
Sean"playi
ngonthebackgr oundandIdi dn't
evenknowwhenhet ur
nedi ton.Hecont inued
ki
ssingmewhi l
etakingmydr essof f.Iwasleft
withmybr aandit
smat chingpant y.

Matt
:omgbabe,
youar
edr
ivi
ngmecr
azy
.Il
ove
yousomuch.
Me:
Ilov
eyout
oo 
Mat
t:Iwantt
omakel
ovet
oyou.
Me:
babeIdon'
tthi
nkI
'
mready
.
Mat
t:doy
out
rustme.
Me:
yes.
Mat
t:t
hent
rustt
hatIwi
l
lnothur
tyou.
Ij
ustnodded.Idi dn'
twantt olosemat tanyway
Ican'
tbeav irginforev
er.Heki ssedmeagai n
andIlostal l
doubt .ThewayIwasf eeli
ngwas
j
ustunexpl ai
nabl e.Hesuckedmybr eastandit
sentshiversdownmyspi ne.Het hencome
downt omycooki eandstartedrubbingi tontop
ofmypant y,IletdownIsof tmour n.Icouldfeel
mymy selfgettingwet.

Meanwhi
l
e
Nar
rat
ed

MrsLoganandherdaught erbeautywere
havingdinnerwhenherphonebeeped.A
messagecamet hr
oughandsheopenedt oread
i
t."Youwantt oknowwhaty ourdaught
eri
sup
to?Got othePetersenr
esi
denceandy ouwil
l
fi
ndout"
Shet
ri
edcal
l
ingt
henumberbutt
hephonewas
of
f.

#Emi
l
y

Ireal
lydon'tunderstandt heofconceptmaki ng
l
ov e,whathappenedbet weenmeandMat twas
farfr
om l ovemaking.Itwasj ustpai nful
buthe
seemedt ohaveenjoyedhi mself.Hewas
peacef ul
lysl
eepingbesideandal lIcoulddoi s
thi
nk.Di dImaket herightdecision?Whati fhe
nowdumpsmebecausehegotwhathewant ed?
Whi l
eIhadal lt
histhought sgoingt hroughmy
mind, Iheardaloudbangont hedoor .
Me:
mat
t,mat
twakeup.
 
Mat
t:hmm
Me:
mat
tsomeonei
sknocki
ngony
ourdoor
.

Hest
oopupr
ubbi
nghi
sey
es,
heputonhi
srobe
andwentoutthedoor.Assoonasthef
ront
dooropened,
Iheardmymom' svoi
ceshout
ing
whereismydaughter
.Ohlordpl
easehel
pme.
[
03/
03,
18:
14]Ron:
Att
hef
li
psi
deofkar
ma

I
nser
tten

#Emi
l
y

IwokeupandIwentt ot akeashower .Iappl ied

l
otionandIwor eadeni m shi r
tandNi keT- shirt
andNi kesneakers.Itookmyphoneandheaded
out.Itoldmymom Iwasgoi ngj oggi
ng.Iputmy
headphonesonandwal kedt otheuncompl eted
buil
dingt hatweusuallymetwi thmat t.AsIwas
approachi ngt
hebuildings, Isawmat tst anding
therefrom far.Myhear tskippedabeat .He
l
ookedsogood.Ir eall
yl ov ethi
smansomuch.
Me:
hi
Mat
t:hi
beaut
if
ul 
Me:
howar
eyou
Mat
t:I
'
mfi
nej
ustmi
ssedy
ou.
Me:
youbr
okemyhear
tmat
t.
Mat
t:Idi
dn'
tcomeher
etot
alkaboutt
his.
Me:
whyy
oubei
ngsoi
nsensi
ti
ve,
I'
m st
il
lhur
t.
Icoul
dfeel
tear
sbur
ningey
es.
Mat
t:i
fyougonnabebor
ing,
i'
m goi
ng.
 
Me:
mepl
easemat
tdon'
tgo.
Mat
t:comeher
e.

Iwentcl osetohim andhej ustkissedme.The

wayt hisguymakesmef eel.Myinsidestur
ned
tojel
ly.Myhear tbel ongstohi m 100%.He
smelledsogood.Hepul leddownmyshor t
ssti
l
l
kissi
ngme.Het ur nedmear oundandt ookout
mypant y.Hepulledhi spantstohi skneesand
heent eredmef rom behi nd.Igasped,itwasso
sor
e.Hej
ustpoundedawaynotev
ent
hinki
ngi
f
hewashur
ti
ngmeornot .
Mat
t:ohhf
uck.
..
yousot
ight
..
.ohi
tssosweet
.
Hesqueezedmywai standhecameinme.He
pull
eduphispantsandtur
nedmearound.He
peckedmylips.
Mat
t:oht
hatwassosweet
.I'
l
lseey
ouar
ound.
Me:j
ustl
i
kethatmatt
.Won'
tyouev
enwal
kme
home?Weneedtotal
k.
Mat
t:Idon'
thav
eti
mef
ort
hisby
e.

Hewalkedawaywithoutevenl
ooki
ngback.I
j
ustcr
ied.Whatdi
dIdot ohimtodeser
vethi
s?
Hewassomeant ome.It ookmyphoneand
cal
l
edAndy .
 
Andy
:hi
myl
ove
Me:
hi
Andy
:whati
smyqueenupt
o.
Me:Iwentf
oraj
ogbutI
'm onmywayhome.
Canyouwalkmehome?
Andy:
youdon'tevenhavetoaskmyl
ove.Il
i
ve
tol
oveandprotectyou.Tel
lwher
ear
eyou.
Me:
att
het
reeneary
ourhouse.
Andy
:I'
m nowt
her
e.
Notev
enfi
vemi
nut
espastandhewasal
ready
wi
thme.
Andy
:youcan'
ti
magi
nehowmuchImi
ssedy
ou.
Hewant
edt
ohugmebutIst
oppedhi
m.
Me:don'
thugmebabe, I
'
m smel
l
ing.I
'
vebeen
j
oggingandsweat
ing.
Andy:
Idon'
tcar
emyl
ove,
Ilov
eyousweatand
al
l.
Andywasj ustsosweet,icoul
dseeheis
genuine.EvenwhenIstart
eddatingmatt
,he
nevertreat
edmet hewayAndydi d.Whycan'
tI
j
ustlovehim?Iknowt hatAndyisabett
er
choicef ormebutIjustcan'ttakemat tof
fmy
hear tandmi nd.I
sthishowlov eissupposet
o
be?Wegott omygat eandIkissedAndygood
nightandIj ustwentin.It
ookaqui ckshower,I
wentt oeatandIwentt obed.Ifell
asleep
thinkingaboutmat t
.

Twoweeksl
ater
.

Me:
mat
tI'
m pr
egnant
.
Mat
t:congr
atul
ati
ons.
Me:
whatdoy
oumean?t
hebabyi
syour
s.
Mat
t:y
out
hinkI
'
m st
upi
d?
Me:
youar
etheonl
yper
sonIhav
esl
eptwi
th 
Mat
t:bi
tchplease,youher
eopeni
ngyourl
egs
t
omei nthemi ddl
eofnowhereandyouwant
metobeliev
ethatI'
mt heonl
yper
sonyouopen
myl
egst oo?
Me:
yousuchaj
erkmat
t.
Mat
t:Iknow,
nowsueme.

Hej ustwal kedoutonme, l

eav i
ngmecr ying.He
hadt urnedmet ohisbootycall t
hepastt wo
weeks.Ihav ebeeni gnor
ingAndy .It
hought
aboutt hescenet hathappenedt odayafter
school .I'
vetri
edsohar dtolov eAndybutIj ust
can't.Iknowmat tisadickbutmyhear t
belongedt omat t
.Ilovehim somuch.NowI
under standwhyRondast ayedwi thFred.If eel
sost upid,everyti
meImeetwi thmat t
,Ifi
nd
my selfhatingmy selfbutIj
ustcan' thelpit.He's
l
ikeadr ug,Iknowhe' sbadformebutIcan' tlet
go.Thepr egnancyt hi
ngdidnotwor k.Good
thi
ngIwasn' treall
ypregnant.IthinkI'
ml osing
mymi nd.

#Andy
Ihaveneverbeenhur tthewayEmi l
yhurtme
today.ImeanIhav etri
edtogivethi
sgirlmyall.
Ilovehersomuchbutt hewayshehumi l
iated
met odayaft
erschool.Whycan'tsheseet hatI
real
lydocareabouther .MaybeIshouldjust
giveherabreak,shehasbeenhur tbad.I
twi l
l
taketimeforhertofull
ytrustme.Itookoutmy
phoneandcal l
edher.
Emy
:h.
..
hi
Icoul
dher
ef r
om t
hesoundofherv
oicet
hat
shewascr
ying.
Me:
ohmyangel
,what
'
swr
ong.
Emy
:I'
mjustsodr
ainedt
hepai
nist
oomuch.
Me:mylovedon'
ttal
kli
ket
hat
.Ev
ery
thi
nghasa
sol
uti
on.
Emy
:Ij
ustf
eel
li
kedy
ing.
Me:don'
tsayt
hatmyl
ove,
Isti
l
lneedy
ou.Il
ove
youandIwoul
ddoany
thi
ngtomakeyouhappy
.
Emy:yousosweetAndy
.Youdon'
tdeser
ve
damagegoodsli
keme.
Me:tomeyouwil
lnev
erbedamaged.Ev
eni f
youhad7ki
ds,
Iwouldst
il
ll
oveyouandrespect
.
Emy
:whydi
dn'
tImeety
ouf
ir
st?
Withthatthelinejustwentdead.It riedcall
ing
heragainbutherphonet ookmest raightt
o
voi
cemai l
.Itbrokemyhear thearingwhathe
sai
d.Ijustcouldn'tbarethet houghtofher
bei
ngsad.Ihat edthefacet hatshest ayswith
hermom.Iwoul dhavegonet her
etogi vehera
goodhug.Isl eptwithaheav yheart
.
[
03/
03,
18:
14]Ron:
Att
hef
li
psi
deofkar
ma

I
nser
tni
ne

#Emi
l
y
Ilockedmysel finmyr oom andjustcried,how
canmat tdothist ome, theti
mewespent
togetherpl
ayedl ikeatrail
eri
nmyhead.How
gentlehewaswi thme.Heal waysmadesur ei
f
IwasOK.Heal way spaidsomuchat t
entionto
me.Icannotbel ievethathecandot hattome.
May beheisjustscar edaftert
heencount er
withmymot her .Ithastobe.Ilov
ehi m somuch
andIwi l
ldoany thingtobewi t
hhim.Ical l
ed
him buthedidn'tanswer .Afewmi nut
esl at
erI
gotamessagef r
om him.
"Iwantnot
hingtodowithyou,
leav
emeal one
anddelet
emynumber "Ireadi
tandjustcr
ied.I
couldnott
akethepai
n.Itwastoomuch.

Af
ewmont
hsl
ater

Myli
fewasmybooks.Al
lIdidisgotoschool
andcomebackhometostudy.Iwant
edto
makemymom proudofme.Shewasst i
llabi
t
coldt owar dsmebutIwast ryi
ngt odoal l
I
couldt ogethert otrustmeagai n.Theonl yt
ime
Ilefthomewast ogot oy outhgat heri
ng.Mat t
wasnol ongergoingandIwasgr atefulthatI
didn'thav etobear oundhi m.Hewasst il
l
i
gnor ingmeandhewasdat i
ngt hemost
popul argirli
nschool .Iwouldsomet imessee
them hol dinghanddur ingbreakt ime, henev er
evendi dt hatwit
hme.Ineededt oshowhi m
thathe'snott heonl ymani nthiswor l
d.Ineed
tomov eon.Myf r
iendshipwi thRondawasabi t
shaky ,Ifoundoutt hatshewasspr eading
rumour saboutmesl eepingwitht heEngl i
sh
teacher .Iknowshewasj ustj
ealousbecauseI
wast hebestEngl i
shst udentinthi swhol e
school .

ItwasMondayaf t
ernoonandIwasget t
ing
my selfreadyf
ortheyouthgather
ing,
Iwasso
excit
edbecauseIwasspendi ngtimewithour
presidentAndy,heissohandsomeandsome
nightsagoheaskedmet obehisgi
rl
fri
endandI
toldhim Iwoul
dt hi
nkaboutit
.Myheartst
il
l
belongedtomattbutIwilldat
eAndytoseeif
mat twil
lgetj
ealousandcomebackt ome.
Theyout
hgat
her
ingwentwel
landAndywas
wal
ki
ngmehome.

Andy:t
hepastf
ewweekshasbeenwonder
ful
spendi
ngt
imewithy
ou.
Me:
Ienj
oyspendi
ngt
imewi
thy
out
oo.
Andy
:sohav
eyout
houghtaboutIaskedy
ou?
Me:
yes.
Andy
:sowi
l
lyoubemygi
rl
fr
iend?
Me:
hmm Idon'
tknow.
Andy:whyar
eyoumessi
ngwi
thme,
Ireal
l
ylov
e
you 
Me:
Ihav
ehear
dthatbef
ore.
Andy
:Iknowwhathappenedwi
thMat
thew,
I
knowt herumoursthati
sgoingar
ound.Idon'
t
beli
evethem becauseIknowyouarebett
er
thenthat.
Me:thankyouforbeli
evi
nginme,youar
ea
wonderful
guyandy esIwil
lgi
vey
ouachance.
Andy
:thanky
ou,
youwi
l
lnotr
egr
eti
t.
Me:
Ihopenot
.
Andy
:canIki
ssy
ou.
Ij
ustnoddedandhekissedme.Hi
ski
sswas
gent
le,
howevernotasmagical
asmatt
's.I
coul
donlythi
nkofhowitfel
twhenmat
tkissed
me.
Andy
:youhav
emademet
hemosthappi
est
manali
ve.
Me:
I'
m gl
adIcoul
dbeofhel
p.
Wesai
dourgoodby
esandIwenthome.

ThenextdayIwasatschool
,
itwasbr
eakt
ime
andIwasholdinghandswi t
hAndy .Wepassed
mattandhisfri
ends.Hejustlookedatme.I
guessIhitanerve.Af
terschool Andywas
walki
ngmehomeandIgotat extfrom mat
t.He
wantedustomeetupi nourusual spoti
nthe
aft
ernoon.
Andy:myqueen,
what
'
smaki
ngy
ousmi
l
eli
ke
that
.
Me:noit
sjustmyMom say
ingshehasa
sur
pri
seforme.
Andy
:mot
heri
n-l
awt
hough,
CanIseey
oul
ater
.
Me:
Ican'
t,
itsmov
ieni
ghtwi
thmyf
ami
l
y.
Andy
:OKmyl
ove,
I'
ll
seey
out
omor
row.

Hepeckedmeonmyl
i
psandl
eft
.Iwenthome
andt
ookanap.

#Andy
Ismi l
edtomy selfasIsawEmi l
ywal kint
oher
yard.Myhear tskippedabi tasIt houghtabout
her.Shewasj ustsoper fect.Ihav ehadacrush
onEmi lyforasl ongasIcanr emember ,
howev erIdidn'thavethecour aget oaskherout
.
Afterwhathappenedbet weenherandMat t
hew,
Iknewt hatIhadt or
escueherf rom thatpai
n.I
l
ovehersomuch.Icanal r
eadypi ctureour
fut
uret oget
her .

Pl
ease,
li
ke,shar
e,commentpl
ease.Yourv
iews
ar
eimport
anttome.

[
03/
04,
13:
58]Ron:
Att
hef
li
psi
deofkar
ma

I
nser
tel
even
#Andy

Igottoschool andIwentt omyf r

iends.They
wer esi
tti
ngwat chingav ideoofsomegi rlbei
ng
fuckedinanuncompl etedbui l
ding.Idon't
understandwhysomemendon' thaverespect
forwomenbutawomangav ebirt
ht othem.
Whydowomenal sogof orthement hattreat
them li
ketrashratherthent heonet hatwill
treatt
hem likequeens?
Me: mecomeonguy sst
opwatchi
ngsuch
disgust
ingv
ideos?Whydoguy
st r
eatwomen
l
iketheyobj
ects?
John:becauset
heyar
ewhor
esandcannotbe
tr
usted.
Me:
notal
lwomanar
ethesame.
John:
ist
hatso?Doy
out
rusty
ourgi
rl
fr
iend?
Me:
ofcour
seIdo.
John:
Isee,
comet
akeacl
oserl
ookher
e.
Me:
Itol
dyou,
Idon'
twat
chsuchr
ubbi
sh.
John:
bel
i
evemey
ouwi
l
lwantt
oseet
his.
Ilookedatt hev i
deoandsomet hingaboutt hat
girlt
hatwasbei ngfuckedfrom behi ndlooked
familiar
.Thewhol et hingwasj ustdisgusti
ng,I
want edtost opwatchi ngbutjohnsai dImust
continue.Iclosedmyey esthenIhear dthegirl
i
nt hev i
deosay ingshei spregnant .Iopenedmy
eyesandIl ookedatt hephoneIcoul dn'
tbel
ieve
i
t.
Me:
thi
scan'
tbet
ruet
hismustbePhot
oshop.
John:
Iguessherv
oicei
sal
sov
oiceshop?
Theot
herguy
slaughed.
Me:
ther
emustbealogi
calexpl
anat
ionf
ort
his,
t
her
eisnowayEmi
lywoulddothist
ome.
John:
youmor
est
upi
dthenIt
hought
. 
Ij
ustl
eftt
hem l
aughi
ng,
Ifel
tdi
zzyast
hei
r
l
aughsechoedi
nmyhead,
noEmi
l
ywi
l
lnev
er
t
othattome.

#Emi
l
y

Imadeadeci siont hatIam donewi thMat thew.

Ideservewaybet terthenhim.Ideser veAndy .
Aft
erourconv ersationlastnightIknewt hatifI
j
ustgav eAndymyal l
Icanlov ehim.Hei sthe
sweetestguyI'veev ermet,hei sveryhandsome
andlovi
ng.Whatel sewasIl ookingfor?
ItookmyphoneandIbl ockedal l
communi cationwithmatt,Ideletedhisnumber.
I'
m gonnast artanewchapt eri
nmyl if
e.Iwent
togetmyschool bagandImademywayt o
school
.Fort hefir
stti
mei nav erylongt i
meI
fel
thappy.Igott oschoolandt hemomentIgot
i
nt hegate,peoplewherejustst ari
ngatme.Did
Ihavesomet hingonmyf ace?Iwentst rai
ghtt
o
thetoi
lettolookmy sel
finthemi rr
orsbutI
l
ookedf i
ne.Iwentinthetoi
l
ettopee.Iheard
peopl
ecomei nandIkeptqui et
.Ther
ewer etwo
gi
rlst
alki
ngandIr ecogni
sedoneofthem as
Ronda.
Gir
l:di
dyouseeher
?Shei
sn'
tev
enashamedt
o
comet oschool
.
Ronda:Iknowri
ght,
Ican'tbel
i
ev eshewasmy
bestf
ri
end.I'
m gl
adIdodgedt hatbul
letbef
ore
shebecameapor nstar
.
Girl
:gi
rlsl
ikehergiveusallabadname, bei
ng
fuckedli
ket hati
nanuncompl et
edbuil
dingjeez.
Atleastothershavethedecencytobetakento
bed.
Ronda:thev
ideoisal
lov
ert
heschool
,ev
en
teacher
shaveseenit
.
Gir
l:Iki
ndoff
eelsorr
yforhert
hough.Howwi
l
l
sheshowherfaceinpubl
ic.
Ronda:Idon'
t,
Iwarnedheraboutmatt,
she
di
dn'twanttohear
.Plusbi
tchesl
ikeherdon'
t
hav
eanyshame.
Gi
rl
:l
et'
sgot
ocl
assbef
orewegetl
ate.
AssoonasIhear dthedooropen, Il
etouta
l
oudcr y
.Howdi dtheygetav ideoofmattandI.
Itur
nedonmyphoneandIwentont hegrade
12What sAppgroupandt hereIwasonmy
handsandknees.Icouldn'tbreat
handitwas
l
ightsoutforme.

#Unknown

Isi
tt
ingjustbrowsingonmyf acebookandI
sawav i
deowithacapt ioned"goodgi rlgone
bad"Iopenedandst artedwat chi
ngt hi
sgi r
l
bei
ngf uckedinauncompl et
edbui l
ding.She
l
ookedv eryfamil
i
ar.Shewaswi t
hherf ace
downandIcoul dn'
tmakeoutwher eIsawher
fr
om.Thedudewasdonedoi nghisbusi ness
andshest oodupdr essingup.Thisdudei sa
ass,t
hewayhewast al
ki
ngt
oher.Shel
if
tedher
headupandIfroze.OhmyGod.Itookmy
phoneanddial
edhisnumber
.Heanswered
aft
erthet
hir
dring.
Me:mattthatwasnotourplan,
youwer
ejust
supposetobreakherhear
tanddumphernot
humil
iat
eherliket
hat.
Matt:
don'
tbl
ameme,
shewast
heoneaf
terme,
Icoul
dn'
thel
pit
.
Me:
fucky
oumat
t,y
ousuchaj
erk.
Mat
t:t
ell
mesomet
hingIdon'
tal
readyknow.
 
Me:
Iwantmymoneyb.
..
Hedi
dn'tl
etmef i
nish,
hehangedup.Iwas
f
uming.Ipunchedthewal
l
,fuck.
[
03/
04,
13:
59]Ron:
Att
hef
li
psi
deofkar
ma

I
nser
ttwel
ve
#Ronda

IknowIhav ebeenhar donEmi l

ybutaf terIsaw
herbei ngt akentot hetothehospital i
tbroke
myhear t.Emi l
yandIhav ebeenfri
endssi nce
wewer ebabi es.Event houghwedon' tseeey e
toey eall t
het imebutIst i
lll
oveher .Iknew
mat twasbadnewswhenIhear dhi mt al
ki ngto
someoneont hephoneaboutEmi l
y .Iwar ned
herbutshedi dnotwantt olist
entome.Iadmi t
Igetjealoussomet imesbecauseshebeaut if
ul,
smar tandhasamom whol ovesherbey ond
everythinghowev erIwoul dneverdoany thing
thatwi l
lhur ther.Lordforgiv
eme, hel pmy
fri
endpl ease.Icoul dfeeltearsburning.

#emi
l
y

Isl
owl
yopenedmyey
esandIhadahor
ri
ble
headache.Ther ewassomanymachi nes
attachedt ome.Il ookedar oundandmymom
andsi sterweresi t
tingonchai r
snextt ome
sleeping.Itri
edt ospeakbutIj ustopenedmy
mout hwi thnowor dcomi ngout.Myt hroatwas
sodr yIneededwat er .Ifeltsohel
plessand
tearswer ejustrunni ngdownmyey es.Itri
edto
reachf ortheglassofwat erbutIdumpedt he
glassandi tfell
.Mysi sterwokeupandwhen
shesawmyey eswer eopenshej umpedup
shakingmymom.
Beaut
y:mom she'
sawake.
Mymom quickl
ystoodupandcamet
ome
hol
dingmyhand.
Mom: ohmyangel
,howar
eyouf
eel
i
ng?You
scar
edmetodeath.
Onl
ytear
swer
efal
l
ingl
i
kear
iver
.
Mom:
ohmybaby
,itwi
l
lbeOK.
Ipoi
ntedatt
hewat
erandshegav
emesome.I
dr
anksohungr
il
ythatIchocked.
Mom:
takei
teasy
.
Me:
I'
m hungr
y.
MyvoicewassoshakyIcoul
dn'
tbel
i
evethatI
wastheonespeaki
ng.Mymom smil
ed.
Mom: hmm youandfood.Iseeyouget
ti
ng
bet
ternow.I
'
m gonnagety ousomefood.
Mymom lef
tandIwasl
eftal
onewi
thbeauty
.
Shecametosi
tbymysi
deandshecri
ed. 
Beaut
y:I
'
m sor
ry
Me:
itsnoty
ourf
aul
t.
WhenIsaidt
hatshecri
edsomemor e.WhenI
want
edtoasksherifmom knew,
thedoctor
camein.
Doc:
missLogan.Howar
ewef
eel
i
ngt
oday
?
Me:OKIguessbutIhav
eat er
ribl
eheadache
andmythr
oatisst
il
lscr
atchy.
Doc:
itsj
ustsi
deef
fect
soft
hemedi
cine,
you'
l
l
bet
tersoon.
Me:
whathappenedt
ome?
Doc:youhadami norheartat
tack.I
tssorar
eon
youngpeople.Youmustj ustmakesureyou
t
akeiteasy.Doy ouneedaphy col
ogi
sts?
Me:
nodoct
or,
I'
mfi
ne.WhencanIgohome?
Doc:
west
il
lwantt
oobser
vey
ouf
oraf
ewday
s.
Me:
OK.

Mymom camei nwiththefood,Iwassohungr

y
Ij
ustdugin.Mymom sai dIhavebeen
unconsci
ousfortwoday s.Ij
ustfel
tli
keI
shoul
dhav ej
ustdied.
 
Mom: y
ouryout
hpresi
dentwasheretoseeyou.
Heissuchagoodboy.Icall
edt
olethi
m know
t
hatyouareawake.Hesaidhe'
sonhisway.
Ij
ustnodded.Idon'tknowifIam readytof
ace
Andy.I
'
mr eal
lysurprisedt
hatheleftcameto
seemeaf terwhatIdid.I
'm ahorri
bleperson.I
fi
nishedeat i
ngandIlaydownt osleep.There
wasal ightknockont hedoor.Mymom and
si
sterhadgonehomet ofreshenup.Itoldthe
persont ocomei n,Il
ookedupandIwasmet
wit
hAndy '
sey es.Helookedlikehell
.Hiseyes
wasal lredandswol l
en.Ifel
tsobad, Andy
doesn'tdeservewhatIdidt ohim. 
Andy
:hi
love,Iwassowor
ri
edabouty
ou.How
ar
eyoufeel
ing?
Me:
Ifeel
muchbet
ternow.
Andy
:I'
m gl
adIt
houghtIl
osty
ou.
Me:
AndyI
'
m sor
ry,
Idi
dn'
tmeant
ohur
tyou.
Andy:pl
easel
et'
snott
alkaboutt
hisnow,
get
bet
terfi
rst
.
Me:Andyplease,
whatwi
l
lmakemef
eel
bet
ter
i
stal
kingaboutit
.
Hejustl
ookedatmeandtear
swererunning
downhischeeks.I
tbr
okemyhear
t.Ihavenever
seenamancrybefor
e.OhmyGod,
whathav
eI
done.Pl
easef
orgi
veme.
Andy
:whyEmi
ly
,whydi
dyoudot
hatt
ome?
Whatdi
dIdowr
ong?
Me:youarejustperf
ectAndy,
youdidnot hi
ng
wrong.Ij
ustmadeast upi
dmistake.Ihopeone
dayyouwill
finditi
nyourhear
ttoforgiv
eme.
Andy
:If
orgiv
eyou,
knowt
hatIl
ovey
ouandI
al
wayswil
l
. 
Heleanedf orwardandgent lykissedme.Hi s
l
ipstastedsaltybecauset het ear
s.Myhear t
ski
ppedabi t
.Iwasjustsobr oken.Hebr okethe
ki
ssandj ustheadedf orthedoor ,assoonashe
l
eftIjustbrokedown.I '
m suchat err
ibl
eper son.
HowcanIbr eakthehear tofamant hatloves
melikethat.Iwill
makesur eev enifi
ttakesme
ali
fetime.Iwi l
lmakei tuptohi m.

#Andy
Thepastt woday shavejustbeent hewor st.I
wassowor ri
edaboutEmi l
y ,
Ipr ayedal most
everysecondt hatIwasawakef orGodt ohelp
herpul lt
hrough.Ihadbecomet hel aughing
stockt omyf riends.Myf ami lyal socoul dn't
under st
andhowIcoul dst andbehi ndawoman
thathasbr okenme.Iknowemi lyhur tmebad
butshedoesnotdeser v
et odie.Iwassohappy
toseet hatshe' sbetterbutaf terall thewor r
y
disappeared, allIwasleftwi thispai n.Thispain
wast ooov er
whel ming.Ihav enev erf el
t
anythinglikethisinmyl ife.Icoul dn't
under st
andwhatdr ov ehert osuchapoi nt.The
factthatshe'spr egnantwi t
hhi schi ldmadei t
wor se.Idon'tknowwhatt odot ot aket hispain
away .

#emi
l
y
Imusthavefall
enasl eep, Iwokeupt omy
phonevibr
ati
ng.Eishi twasourgr ade12
WhatsAppgroup.Ireal l
yneedt oexitthi
sgr oup.
Ican'
tdealwi
tht hethingspeopl emightbe
sayi
ngaboutme.It ookmyphoneandl ogged
onWhatsApp.AsIwasaboutt oexi
tthegr oup
Somethi
ngcaughtmyat tenti
on.OhmyGodno.
Andthatwaslightsoutagai n.
[
03/
04,14:
00]Ron:
thi
sgame.Nowdeal
wit
h
t
heout
come.

Att
hef
li
psi
deofkar
ma

I
nser
tthi
rt
een

#emi
l
y

Hav
eyouev
ersl
eptandwi
shy
oucoul
dsl
eep
foreverbecausey oudon'twantt ocomebackt o
facey ourproblems?If eltli
kethatforthef i
r st
ti
mei nmyl i
fe.Ijustwant edtoleave,Iwant ed
tonumbmy selffrom thepain.Icouldn'
thandl e
i
tany mor e.AsIwasaboutt ogiveupIhear dmy
mom cr ying.Ican'thurtmymot hertoo,Iwas
soconf li
ctednotknowi ngwhatt odo.Ijustf el
t
l
ikesomet hi
ngpushedmeandIendedup
fal
lingthroughsomet hingthatseemedl ikea
tunnel.Ithenopenedmyey esandasImov ed
mymom f r
eakedout .Sher anoutoft her oom
andsecondsl atershecamewi ththedoct or
whoj ustcheckedmyhear tbeat.
Doc:wel
comebackmi
ssLogan,
youhadgi
ven
al
lofusafr
ight
.
Me:
howl
onghav
eIbeengone.
Doc:
you'
vebeeninacomafortwoweeks.Do
your
ememberwhatputyouinastat
eofshock
t
hatyoudr
if
tedoutofr
eal
it
y?
Al
loft
hesuddenIr
emember
edwhatIsawon
WhatsApp.Tearsj
ustflowed.Idi
dn'
tev
en
bot
hertoholdthem back.
Me:
mom
Mom:
yesmybaby
.
Me:
isAndyr
eal
l
ygone.
Mom: l
et'
sgetyoubett
er1stt
henwewi
l
ltal
k
abouti
t,don'
twor
ry.
Doc:there'
shar
dlyanythi
ngwrongwi thher
physi
call
yanymore.Herbodyisshut t
ingdown
becauseofemotionalpai
n.Tal
kingaboutthisi
s
whatwi l
lhel
pher,sheneedsprofessi
onalhel
p.
Mom:
nopr
obl
em.
Mymom wentwi ththedoctortogetanameof
professi
onal f
ormet ot al
kto.Ij
ustcoul
dn't
understandwhyAndywoul dtakehisownlif
e.
DidIreallydamagehi mt hi
sbad.HowdidIget
tothisplace,Iwastheonet hatwassupposeto
dienothim.I '
m surethewholeworldhat
esme
bynow, Idon'tblamet hem.Ihatemysel
ftoo.I
can'
texpl
ainwhatIwasf
eel
i
ng.

#Ronda

Ev erythinghasj ustbeenhor r
ible.Ihear dEmi l
y
wasawakeandIdeci dedt ogoseeher .I
wonderhowshe' st akingev erything.Itr eall
y
breaksmyhear tespeci all
ythet hingspeopl e
aresay ingabouther .Shei sstil
l myf r
iendandI
l
ov eherandIwi l
l needt oshowhert hatIwi l
l
alway sbet heref orher .Andy'sdeat hwassuch
ashockt oev eryone, hisfuneral wassosadand
I'
m sur eEmi lyfeelswor senotbei ngabl et obe
ther e.Idi dn'tevenknowt hattheywer et hat
ser i
ous.Hi spar ent shadgi venmeal etterthat
hel eftf orEmi l
y.I'm notsur ewhet herIshoul d
givei ttoherornot .Igotintoherr oom and
whatIsawj ustki ll
edme.Shej ustl ookedso
transpar ent,Icoul dliteral
lyseer ightt hrough
her .Tear swer ejustr unningtownhercheeksI
doubtshewasev
enawar
eofi
t.
Me:
himonkeyhowar
eyou?
Shet
ri
edt
osmi
l
e.
Emil
y:Ican'
tev
enanswert
hat
,I'
mjust
shat
ter
ed.
Me:
i'
mreal
l
ysor
ry.
Emi
l
y:di
dyougot
ohi
sfuner
al?
Me:
yesIdi
d,i
twassosad.
Emi
l
y:howdi
dhedi
e?
Me:
hedr
ankaci
d.
Ij
ustsawt hel
ookinhereyes.Ij
ustwant
edso
mucht ohugherbutshehadsomanywi res
at
tachedtoherIj
ustdidn'
tknowhowt odothat
.
Me:
iti
snoty
ourf
aul
t.
Emil
y :howcanyousayt
hat
,ofcour
sei
tsmy
faul
t.Ideser
vet
odienothi
m.
Me:
don'
tsayt
hat
,youj
ustmadeami
stake.We
al
lmaket
hem atsomepoi
nt.
Emi
ly
:yeahbutmymistakecostsomeonesl
i
fe.
HowdoIli
vewit
hthat
.
Idi
dn'
tknowwhatt
osay,Ir
emember
edAndy
's
l
ett
ermaybei
twil
lhel
pher.
Me:Ihav
eal ett
erthathewrot
eforyoubefor
e
hedi
ed.I'
l
lleaveyoualonet
oreadit
.I'
m gonna
comebacklater.
Igavehert
helet
terandIwal
kedaway
.Ihopei
t
wil
lhel
phergetclosur
e.

#unknown 
per
son

Ijustfel
tsobadaf tereveryt
hingEmi l
yhasgone
through.I
fitwasn'tformenonoft hiswould
hav ehappened.Thei sareasonwhyt heysay
revengeisnotevenwor thit.Ifeelsobad
becauseitwasn'tev enherfaultthatLincol
n
brokeupwi thme.Myhear twasj ustfi
lledwit
h
hatr
edandIwant edhertofeelthewayIf elt
whenLi ncolnbrokeupwi thmebecausehe
l
ikedEmi ly.Itwasnotlikeshedat edhim,the
horr
ibl
epar tist
hatsheknewnot hingabout
whathappened.Mat thadtopayf orwhatheput
Emilythrough.HowdoIf orgi
vemy sel
ffor
l
andingheri nhospit
alandforthedeat hofthat
boy.Icalledmat t.
Me:
mat ty
ouar
egonnar
egr
etwhaty
oudi
dto
Emi
ly.
Matt:
leav
emet hefuckal
onebeaut
y.Yout
he
onewhocamet omewi t
hthi
sgame.Nowdeal
wit
htheoutcome.
[
03/
04,
14:
01]Ron:
Att
hef
li
psi
deofkar
ma

I
nser
tFour
teen

#Mat
thew
WhenIf i
rsthear dEmi l
ysingint heassembl y
thatfir
stdayofschool ,Iknewt hatIhadt o
makehermi ne.Shewasj ustsobeaut if
ul.Ionly
hadgoodi ntentionsforher.Iknewt hatIcoul d
startsomet hingbeaut i
fulwithher.Ili
kedt hat
shewasnotl i
keot hergir
lsthrowing
themselvesatme.Thef i
rstti
mei ki
ssedher
wasmagi cal andIcouldseeaf utureforus.I
wasn'tinlov ewi thheryetbutIwasget ti
ng
there.Aft
erget t
ingtoknowherIl earnedt hat
wehadsomuchi ncommonandIknewt hen
thatwewer emeantt obe.Istill
remembert he
dayImetbeaut y.ItwasthedayIt ookEmi lyfor
i
cescr eam.Ist i
llremembert hatconv er
sat i
on
l
ikeitwasy esterday.
Beaut
y:soy
out
heguydat
ingmysi
ster
.
Me:
Idon'
tknowwhaty
ouar
etal
ki
ngabout
.
Beaut
y:Emi
l
y?
Me:wear
enotdat
ing,
wej
ustf
ri
endsbutIl
i
ke
her
.
Beaut
y:Iwanty
out
odosomet
hingf
orme.
Me:
whati
sit
?
Sheexpl
ainedhowshewantedmetodat
e
emil
y,makeherfal
lformeandt
hendumpher
.
Me:
whywoul
dIdot
hat
?
Beaut
y:becauseIwi
l
lpayy
ou.
Me:Idon'
tneedyourmoney
,Il
i
keemi
l
yandI
won'
tdothattoher
.
Beaut
y:y
oucandot
hingst
heeasywayorhar
d
way?
Ther easonwhyIl eftmyhomewasbecauseI
hadr apedagi rlandsheendedupdy i
ng.Iwas
doingal otofdr ugst hatti
meandIwasn' tinmy
ri
ghtmi nd.Mypar entscov eredupf ormeand
thensentMet omyaunt .Beautyfoundout ,I
don'tknowhowandshebl ackmailedme.Ihad
nochoi ce.Ithenst artedtohateEmi lybecause
hersisterkeptusi ngme.Iknowi twasn'ther
faultbutIdidn'tcareatt hetime.Ididn'
tknow
thatposti
ngthatvideowoul dhavecausedso
mucht ragedy
.Ididn'tevengot oAndy'sfuneral
,
Iwassoashamed.Ihopet hathe'sspi
ritcan
forgi
veme.Nowbeaut yisonmycase.She
blamesmebutshei st heonewhocameup
withthi
swhol et
hing.Whatwoul ddri
ve
someonet ohurtherownbl oodsist
er?

#Beaut
y

Icouldn'teatorsleep.Ikeptget t
ingnight mares
aboutt hatboyAndy .Ireall
ydi dnoti ntendf or
thingstohappent hewayi tdid.Nowt hatpoor
boyi sdeadandmysi st
erisemot ionallydead.
Shecamef rom thehospi t
al andal lshedoesi s
stareatnot hi
ngr ocki
ngbackandf or
th.Idon't
knowhowt ohelpher.Im sodepr essed.If eel
formymot her,shehasl ostsomuchwei ght.I
'm
reall
yat err
ibl
eper son.Istil
lrememberwhen
Lincolncamet oourhouseay earago.Wehad
beendati
ngf oraboutsixmonthsandIhad
foundoutthatIwaspr egnantforhi
m.Hecame
onedayandj ustbrokeupwi t
hme.
Li
n: beaut
yIcan'
tdothi
sany more,I
'
vebeen
tr
yingsohardbutIcan'
ttakeyoursi
sterof
fmy
mind.
Me:
whatar
eyousay
ing?
Li
n:I'
m sayi
ngthatI'
minlovewi
thyoursi
ster
.I
can'
tconti
nueseeingyouanymor
e.
Me:
soy
ouwannadat
emysi
ster
.
Li
n:No,Iwi
l
lneverdothattoy
ou.Ij
ustneedt
o
goawayandfi
ndmy sel
f.I
fwearemeanttobe,
wewil
lonedayfi
ndourselv
es.
Me:pl
easedon'tl
eaveme,
Ilov
eyouandI
'
m
car
ryi
ngyourbaby.
Li
n:I
'
m sor
ry,
Isuggesty
ouhav
eanabor
ti
on.
Heleftmeshut ter
ed.Ihadtohaveanabort
ion
andlaterIfoundoutthatIwoul
dneverhave
ki
ds.Ibuildsomuchangerf ormysist
erbut
nowt hatIthi
nkabouti trati
onal
ly
.Li
ncoln
play edme.Howcoul dIhav ebeensostupi
d.
NowEmi lywil
lneverforgiv
eme.HowdoIbegi n
tot ellmysistert
hatI'
mt hecauseofher
mi sfortune.

#emi
l
y

Readi ngAndy '

sl ett
erdidn'
tgi v
emecl osureat
all
.Itonlymademef eelworse.Ev eni ndeathhe
hadmybesti nter estatheart.Hesai dIshoul d
notbl amemy selfforwhathappenedt ohim, i
t
i
sGod' splanfort hingstoturnoutt hisway .He
i
shappyt hathemanagedt oexper iencehowi t
fel
tt olovesomeone.Fr om thatdayIhav enot
openedmymout ht osayasi nglewor d.Itold
my selfIwill
mour nAndyandIwi l
lnotl ethi
slif
e
goi nv ai
n.Iwillkeephi smemor yalive.Iwill
fi
nishschool andbecomeachar tered
Account antinhishonourbecauset hatwashi s
dream.Iwi l
lnevergi
vemyhear ttoanotherman
agai n.Af ewdaysaft
erIcamef rom thehospit
al,
beaut ycamet omyr oom andt oldme
ever yt
hingthatshedid.Iwashur tthatmyown
si
st erwoul ddothattomebutIf orgaveher.I
f
Andycoul dforgi
veme, whowasInott oforgi
ve.
Aftert hatshelef
tandnev ercamebackhome.I
wentt ocounseli
ngandIdeal twiththeguil
tof
Andy '
sdeath.

Twoy
ear
slat
er

If
ini
shedmyexamsandIwasonmywayt omy
br
other
'spl
ace.Myphoner
angandIanswer
ed.
Me:
himom
Mom:
hibabyhowwasy
ourl
astexam?
Me:
itwasgood,
Ifeel
li
keInai
l
edi
t.
Mom:
youar
emyl
i
ttl
egeni
us.
Me:
youknowi
tmom.
Mom: y
oumustcomehomeIhav
eabi
g
sur
pri
sefory
ou.
Me:mom It
oldy
ouIwon'
tbecomi
nghomet
his
hol
i
day.
Mom:youhav
eto,
itsv
eryi
mpor
tantt
haty
ou
come.
Me:
OKmom,
I'
ll
seey
oui
ntwoday
s.

Let'
sdi
scusshowdoy
ouguy
sfi
ndt
hest
oryso
far
?
[
03/
04,
14:
01]Ron:
#Emi
l
y

Thepastt woy ear shavebeenhardbut

product
ive.Imov edtoJo'burgwit
hmybr other
andhisfami l
y.Af terever
ythi
ngthathad
happened,Icouldn' tgobacktoschool.AfterI
l
eftthehospital,peoplesentmehor r
ible
messages, theyev encall
edtoswearatme, i
t
washar ddeal ingwi thall
that.Andy'sfamily
hatedme.Idr oppedoutofschool .WhenI
mov edtoJo' burg,Iwentbackt oschool and
mat r
iculat
edwi t
hf ly
ingcolours.Istart
ed
studyingAccount ancyt henexty ear.Ihadno
fr
iends,Ididnot hingsociall
y.AllIdidwasst udy
.
Thisisnol ongermyl if
ebutAndy '
s.

Iarri
vedhomeaf t
erav erylongdri
vefrom
Jo'burg.Mybrot
her'
swi f
ehadboughtmea
smal l
Opelcorsaformet ogot oschoolwith.
Shewasmor eofasistertomet henbeauty
everwas.Iwalkedinthehouseandat tacked
mymom wi t
hahug.
Me:
ohmymommyImi
ssedy
ousomuch.
Mom:
sweet
yImi
ssedy
oumor
e.
Me:
howhav
eyoubeen?
Mom:
I'
vebeenbor
ed,
li
vi
ngal
onei
nthi
shouse
andnotwor
kingi
skil
l
ingme.Ant
honyshoul
d
sendmeoneofhiski
dstokeepmecompany.
Me:
yesy
oumustaskhi
swi
fe,
I'
m sur
eshewi
l
l.
Mom:
thatev
ilgi
rlwi
l
lnev
erdot
hat
.
Me:mom Lol
aisav er
yni
ceper
son,
youmust
j
ustgi
veherachance.
Mom:shecamebet
weenmeandmyson.I
hav
en'
tseenhi
myears.
Me:mom y
oucamebet weenyouandAnt
hony
.
Howdoyouexpecthi
mt ocomeherei
fyou
hat
ehi
swife?
Mom:i
fhewoul
dhav
emar r
iedthegi
rlIchose
f
orhi
mthenwewoul
dn'
thavethispr
oblem.
Me:mom bereasonabl
e,hedi
dn'
tlov
ethatgi
rl
.
Lol
aisv
erygoodt ohi
m, hei
sver
yhappy.
Mom:
Idon'
twantt
otal
kaboutt
hisany
mor
e.
Fi
ne:
I'
mti
redI
'
m gonnagor
est
.
Mymom i
sjustal
ostcausewheni
tcomest
o
Lol
a.Idon'
tknowwhyshedoesn' tli
keLola,
she
i
sawonder fulwoman,allsheneedst odois
gi
veherachance.Iwenti ntomyr oom andtook
ashower.I
twassohott hatIwentstrai
ghtt
o
bednakedwi t
houtapply
inganylotiononmy
body.It
ossedandt ur
nedunt i
lIf
eel asl
eep.

Iwokeuphour slatertothesoundofmymom
l
aughingv eryloud.Iwenttowashmyf ace,I
appli
edlotionandwor eadenim shortsanda
oversi
zedT- shir
t.Iworemysl eeper
sandIwent
tothelounge.Ifoundmymom t al
ki
ngont he
phone.Assoonshesawme, shesai dher
goodbyest otheper sonshewast alkingtoand
hangup. 
Mom:
let
'sgoeat
,Imadey
ourf
avor
it
e.
Me:
yum,
what
'st
heoccasi
on?
Mom:
doIneedone?Mybabyi
shome.
Me:
yeahmom.
Wesetdown,
Isai
dgr
aceandwest
art
edeat
ing.
Mom: t
her
e'st
wot
hingsIwannat
alkt
oyou
about
.
Me:
OKmom goahead.
Mo.
:Ihav
ebeent
alki
ngt
obeaut
y.
Me:
ohhowi
sshe?
Mom: she'
sreal
l
yst ruggl
i
ngandshewant st
o
comeback.Idon'tcondonewhatshedi dtoyou
butshe'
salsomydaught er.Ican'
tabandonher
.
Me:I
'
m notaski
ngyoutoo.Shecancomeback.
Pl
usIhav
ealreadyf
orgi
venher.
Mom:t
hanksbaby,y
ouj
ustanamazi
ngper
son.
Nev
erf
orgett
hat.
Me:nopr
obl
em mom,
any
thi
ngt
omakey
ou
happy
.
Mom:gl
adt
oheart
hatbecausey
ouar
eget
ti
ng
mar
ri
ed.
[
03/
04,
14:
02]Ron:
Att
hef
li
psi
deofkar
ma
I
nser
t16

#Emi
l
y

Ichockedonmyf ood,mymom r antothe

kit
chent ogetmesomewat er.Idrankthewater
sti
llbringingmy selft
oreali
ty.Mar r
iageme?No
thi
scan' tbehappeni ngtome.Ican' tget
mar ri
ed.Ihav esomuchIhav et odoandaf t
er
Andy 'deat hItoldmyselft
hatIwi ll
neverdat
e
againnott otalkofgett
ingmar ri
ed.WhatdoI
doaboutt hisnow.
Me:youmustbejoki
ngri
ght?Tel
lmethi
sis
oneofyourwei
rdatt
emptsofhumour
.
Mom:I'
m sor
rybabyyouhavenochoiceyou
mustmarr
yhim,ther
e'snot
hingIcando.
Me:
isn'
tbeaut
ysupposet
omar
rybef
oreme?
Mom: beaut
yismar r
iedbutshe'
sgett
ing
div
orcedbecauseherhusbandfoundoutshe
can'
thavechil
dren.
Me:wow,I
'm st
il
lyoungmom,
Idon'
twantt
o
getmar
ri
edyet.
Mom: youdon'
twantt
ogetmarr
iedsoy
oucan
st
artgoingar
oundwit
hguys?
Me:mom I'
m ov
erthat,
itsal
laboutmenow.I
don'
thav
etimetodate.
Mom: goodthi
ngI'
m notaski
ngyoutodate
then.Youluckyheevenwantstomarryy
ou
afterall
thethi
ngsheheardabouty
ou.
Me:
wowt
hanksal
otmom.
Mom:
stopbei
ngunr
easonabl
e.
I
tturnedoutthatmyfatherowedmoneytothi
s
mysocalledhusband'
sf at
herandcoul
dnot
paythedebt.Sonowhepr omisedt
hatwhenI
tur
n21Iwoul dmarrytheman'ssonandgiv
e
him gr
andchildr
en.
Me:
whyam Ionl
yhear
ingt
hisnow?
,
Mom: becauseyoumustpr
eparey
oursel
ffor
marri
age.Hisgr
andmaiscomingtof
etchyou
tomorr
ow.YoumustgospendChrist
maswi t
h
him.
Me:nomom Ican'
t,
Iwi
l
lnotmar
rysomeoneI
don'
tknow.
Mom: youdon' thav
eachoi
ce,i
tsei
thery
ou
marryhim orIdisowny
ou.RememberthatI
'
m
pay
ingy ourfees.
Me:
youcan'
tdot
hist
ome.
Irantomyr oom andIcried.Ican'tbeli
evemy
parentswoul ddothistome.If el
tsowor thl
ess.
Onespar entsaretheonest hatar esupposet o
protectyoubutonmycasemyownpar ents
betrayedme.HowcanImar ryamant hatIhav e
nevermet ,whom Iknownot hingabout.Istood
up,Iwentt ochangei nt
oabl ackl eggi
ngs,black
shir
tandbl ackhat.Itookthef lowersthatI
boughtf orAndy'
sgr aveandIwentout .Every
ti
meIcamehome, Ibri
ngf l
owersf orAndy
.
Goingtohisgr avegivesmepeace.Ineedt o
tal
ktohi m aboutthis.Iwentpassedmymot her
andgoti nt
omycarandIdr ovet othecemeter
y.
Ispentsomet i
met herejusttel
li
nghi m
every
thingthathasbeenhappeni ngtome.I
thenwentbackhomeandIsl ept.Iwasina
room andIsawAndyappr oachingme.
Andy
:hi
myl
ovey
oul
ookbeaut
if
ul.
Me:
thanky
ou.Imi
ssy
ousomuch.
Andy
:Imi
ssy
out
oo.
Me:
whydi
dyouhav
etogo?
 
Andy:i
twasmyt
ime,
Iam atPeace.Pl
easel
i
ve
yourl
i
fe.
Me:
Ican'
tAndy
.
Andy
:yesy
oucan.
Hestart
edtofadeaway,Ikeptcal
li
nghi
m but
hedidn'
tcomeback.Iwokeupal l
sweat
yandI
cr
iedsomemor e.Il
ookedattheti
meandit
was5am.Nousegoi ngt osleepagai nnow.I
wokeupandIdi dmyhy gienicprocess.Iwor e
mygown.Iwentdownst airsandIst artedt o
cleanthewhol ehouse.Ithenmadebr eakfast.I
wental lout,
Imadebeacon, eggs,cheese
gril
ler
s,mushr oom andoni on.ImadeFr ench
toast.WhenIwasdoneIwentt odressi na
abov ethekneesummerdr essandwhi te
sandals.Ihadaccept edmyf at
e,nopoi nt
fi
ght i
ngitbutIhadsomedemands.Iwal ked
outofmyr oom andImetmom i nthelounge.  
Me:
mor
ningmom.
Shet
urnedandl
ookedatme.
Mom:
mor
ning,
youl
ookbeaut
if
ul.
Me:
thanky
ou.
Mom:
hmm whyt
hesuddenchange?
Me:Ijustdon'
twanttowastemytimefight
ing
wit
hy ouandthensti
llendupget
ti
ngmar ri
ed
anyway.Itwi
ll
justdr
ainmet omuch.Ij
ust
acceptmyf
ate.
Mom: wowI'
mi mpressed,
youar
ereal
l
ymy
bestchi
l
d.Thankyou.
Me:
Iwon'
tcompr
omi
semyeducat
iont
hough.
Mom:
don'
twor
ryhe'
sal
lfory
oust
udy
ing.
Me:
OKgr
eat
.Imadebr
eakf
ast
.
Mom:yourgr
annyandhusbandar
eint
hei
rway
,
sol
et'
swaitf
orthem.
Me:
sur
e.
Wesatt alki
ngwi t
hmymom, Iknowsome
mightsayIgav euptof astbutIjusthadno
ener
gyt of i
ghtany more.Plusitsagoodt hi
ng
si
nceIdi dn'
tlov ehimthenIwi llbeabletokeep
mypr omiset oAndyt hatIwillnevergi
v emy
hearttoany one.

Nottol
ongaf
tert
her
ewasaknockonthedoor
,
Iwentt
oopenandIwasmetwi
ththi
sver
y
handsomey oungcoloredguy
,hehadblueeyes
andpinkbeauti
full
ips.Hehadcur
lysuperbl
ack
hair
.Hewasj ustsohandsome,i
fhandsomei s
yourtype.Hewaswi thaoldl
adywit
hahuge
smileonherface.
Me:
mor
ning
Them:
mor
ning.
Me:
pleasedocomei
n.
Wewal
kedi
ntot
hel
oungeandwet
ookaseat
.
Mom:Emi
lythi
sjohn,
yoursoont
obehusband
andhi
sgr
andmotherDomini
que.
Me:
I'
mver
ypl
easedt
omeety
ou.
Dom:I'
m pleasedt
omeety
out
oo.Youar
ea
beaut
if
ulyounggir
l.
Me:
thanky
ou.
Mom:
Emi
l
ygosett
het
abl
eforbr
eakf
ast
.
Iwenttosetthetable,
Iwar
medupthef
ood.I
putsomejuice,
coffeeandt
eaont
hetabl
eandI
wenttocal
lev
eryone.Johnsai
dgr
aceandwe
st
art
edeati
ng.
John:
thi
sisdel
i
ciousr
ightgr
andma.
Dom:yesmyson,
iti
sdel
i
cious.Youar
eagr
eat
cookmydear
.
Me:
thanky
oumam.
Dom:
pleasecal
lmegr
andma.
Ij
ustsmi
l
ed.
John:awomant hatknowsherwayi
nthe
ki
tchenisal
lIwant.Icant
ell
wearegoi
ngtobe
happytoget
her.
Ijustr ol
ledmyey esathim andmom j ustgave
met hatbehav elook.Wet al
kedsomemor e
theni twast imef orustoleave.Itookmybags
andgav eittojohnandhewentt oputthem i
n
theboot .Isaidmygoodby estomom andwe
l
ef t
.Theyst ayedinPretor
iasoi twasal ong
drive.Ifellasl
eepi nthecarandIwokeupt o
j
ohnshaki ngme.
Itturnedoutwehadar r
ived.Wewenti ntothe
house.Thehousewasbeaut i
ful,nothingfancy
buti twascosy .Hi sgrandmashowedmet oour
room.Iwast obeshar i
ngwi thjohn.I nthe
color edcommuni tythatisnotabi gdeal evenif
wear enotmar ried.Iwenti nsidet ofreshenup.
Igotdr essedandIwentdownst air
st ohelp
grannycook.Wesett heretalkingforal ong
time, thatwomanj ustcrackedmeup.Shewas
sowonder ful.Ilov edheral ready.Shewas
tell
ingmest oriesofwhenj ohnwasy oung.Why
can'tIj ustmar r yher.
John:
whati
ssof
unny
.
Itur
nedaroundandlookedathi
m,hehad
changed.Hewaswear i
ngshort
sandavest
.Hi
s
bodywassogl or
ious.
Granny:
stopbeingnosyjohnny
,wejusttal
ki
ng
aboutgi
rlst
uff
.shewinkedatme,ei
sht hi
s
woman.Ijustl
aughed.
John:
hmm Isee.Wel
lcanIst
eal
mywi
fe.I
wantt
ospendt
imewi
thhert
oo.
Gr
anny
:wenotdone.
John:
she'
smywi
fegr
annynoty
our
s.
Gr
anny
:shel
i
kesmebet
terdon'
tyoudear
?
Me:
wel
l.
..
Bef
oreIcouldany
thi
ngjohnwoopedmebr
idal
st
yleandtookmeoutsi
de 
Me:
putmedown.
Icoul
djustheargrannycheer
ingi
ntheki
tchen.
Thatol
dwomani scrazy
.
[
03/
04,
14:
03]Ron:
Att
hef
li
psi
deofkar
ma

I
nser
t17

#Emi
l
y

Wewentf
orawal
k,f
oranar
rangedmar
ri
age
j
ohnandIgotalongpret
tywell
.Wewenttothe
parkandwesatontheswingsandwejust
tal
ked.Heseemedli
keaniceguyandhedidn'
t
deserv
etobewithawomanl i
keme.PlusIam
notgonnabeablet
olovehim. 
John:
whatdoy
oudoi
nyourf
reet
ime?
Me:I
'm sor
tofanerd,Ir
eadal
ot.Il
ove
wat
chingtvandyou?
John:wel
lIl
i
kespor
ts.Il
i
kemov
iest
ooand
music.
Me:OKmovi
es,
nowthat'
ssomet
hingwehav
e
i
ncommon.Whatki
nd?
John:
act
ionandhor
ror
.
Me:
Ili
kecomedyandr
omance.
John:
thatwi
l
lbeadeal
breaker
.
Me: ohyeah?Thenletmegotal
ktothatguy
overther
e.Helooksli
kehewouldl
ovetowatch
comedywi thme.
John:
goov
ert
her
eandseewhatI
'
lldot
oyou.
Me:
ohi
sthatadar
e 
John:
yes
Ist
art
edtowalktowar
dsaguythatwassit
ti
ng
onthepar
kbench.Hehadourbacktous.
 
Me:
hi
Hetur
nedar ound,
omwt
hisguyi
shandsome.
Hesmiled.
Hi
m:hi
Me:
canIt
akeaseat
.
Hi
m:sur
e.What
'sy
ourname?
Me:
Emi
l
yandy
our
s?
Bef
orehecoul
danswerj
ohncamer
unni
ngt
o
us.
John:
Emi lywhydon'
tyoulear
nyourl
essonheh?
Youcan'tcont
inuet
opickupguysint
hepark,
youst
ill
recoveri
ngfr
om theSTDthel
astguy
gaveyou.
Thatguycouldn'
thaveranoutofthepar
kany
faster
.Johnwasjustst
upidbutthatwasreall
y
funny.Thefeari
nthatman'
sfacewaspr i
celess.
Me:
noy
oudi
dn'
t
Hi
m:y
esIdi
d.
Me:
I'
ll
payy
oubackr
eal
soon.
Hi
m:i
sthatso.
Me:
yeah.
Hecamet omeandjustti
ckl
edme,
Ilaughedso
har
dthatIcoul
dn'
tbr
eath.
 
Me:
I'
m sor
ryj
ohn,
pleasest
op.
Him:j
ohn?Don'
tyoumeanbaby
,sweet
y,honey
orev
enlove.
Me:
yournamei
sjohni
sn'
ti
t?
Heti
ckl
edmesomemor
e,Ij
ustcoul
dn'
ttakei
t
anymore.
Me:
OKbaby
,pl
easest
op.
HestoppedandIwascat chingmybr eath,he
keptlaughingatme.Hej usthadt hatcutelaugh,
heishandsome.Iwasf eelingv ery
uncomf ort
abl elookingathi m.It urnedaround
andst ar
tedr unningf orsomer easonandher an
aft
erme.Wewer ejustrunni nglikekids.Isawa
womansi t
tingal oneont hegr ass.Geeswas
sheugl y
.Iusual lydon'tmakef unofpeopl ebut
shelookedl ikesomeonev omi t
edonherf ace.I
knewhowt ogetbackatj ohn.Ir antothegi r
l.
Me:
hi
Gi
rl
:hi
Me:
howar
eyou?
Gi
rl
:I
'm goodandy
ou?
Me:I'
m good,mynameisEmilyandt
hatthere
i
smybr other
.Thi
sisawkwardbutmybrother
l
ikesyouandheisshytot
alktoyou.
Gi
rl
:real
l
y?Thatguy
?
Shel
ookedov
eratj
ohnwhowasj
ustsi
tt
ing
t
her
eal
li
nnocent
.
Me:yes,
hewant
stoknowi
fyouwoul
dli
ket
o
gooutwit
hhi
m.
Gi
rl
:sur
ewhynot
.
Me:
goov
ert
her
eandt
ell
him wher
eandwhen.
Isatont hegrasslookingatt hegirlwalki
ng
overtoj ohn.Shewast al
kingt ohim.Thel ook
onhisf acewasj ustpri
celess,helookedov erat
meandgav emet heevileye.Ijustcouldn'
thelp
mysel f
.Ij ustlaughedsol oud.Ican'tremember
thelastt i
meIhadsomuchf un.Thegi rlt
ook
hisphoneandIsuspectt hatshewaspunchi ng
hernumber sinandt henshewal kedaway .John
camet ome.
John:
youar
eev
il
.
Me:Iknow,sowher
ear
eyout
aki
ngy
our
gi
rl
fr
iend.
John:
wel
l
,imt
aki
ngheroutonFr
iday
.
Me:
ofcour
sey
ouar
e.
John:
shei
ski
ndacut
e.
IstolehisphoneandIr anawaywi t
hi t
.The
gir
l'
snameannumberwasst il
lont hescreen.I
deletedit.Idon'
tknowwhyIdi dit.Ijustf
eel
sorryfortheguyt hat
sall
,thatgir
llooked
horri
ble,Itoldmyself
.

Twoweeksl
ater

I
twasadaybef oreChri
stmas, Ihavebeeni n
j
ohn'sgr andma'shousef ortwoweeksnow.I
washav ingalotoff unwithjohn.Wehad
nothi
ngi ncommon, wear etotall
yopposites
buthemademel aughsomuch.Iguessbei ng
mar r
iedtohim willnotbetortureli
keIthought.
I
fonlyIwoul dhav emethi m beforeal
l t
hat
dramahappenedi nmyl i
febutnowI '
mt oo
damaged.Ican' tgivehi
mt hekindoflovehe
deserves.Heissosweetandl ovi
ngandhi s
grandmawast hesweet estwomanev er.Ihave
notmethi smom anddady etbecauset heyst ay
i
nBr azi lbutt heywi llcomef ortheweddi ng.I'
ve
talkedt oheront hephonet houghandshe
soundedsosweet .Iwasl yi
ngi nbedand
wat chi ngJohnsl eepsopeacef ull
y.Hewasa
beaut iful sight.NoIcannotbef all
ingfort heguy ,
I'
mj ustov erwhel medbecausehemakesme
l
aughandIhav en'tbeenhappyi nalongt i
me.
All Ifeel i
sgr ati
tudet hat'
sall.Wehav ebeen
sleepi ngt oget herf ortwoweeksandhehas
beent heper fectgent leman.Hehasnott ried
any thingwi thmeandI '
mveryhappyhehadn' t.
That 'st hel astthingIneed.Heal sodoesn' t
hav eachoi cebutt obewi thmebuti tkindahur t
thathe' sonl ywi t
hmebecausehehast o.Idon' t
knowwhyi thurtsbecauseI '
m alsowi thhim
becauseIhav eto.EishIhav etopul lmy self
toget her .
[
03/
04,
14:
03]Ron:
Att
hef
li
psi
deofkar
ma
I
nser
t18

#Emi
l
y

IwokeupandIwentdownst ai
rstocleanand
makebr eakfast
.John'sgr andmal i
kest odoall
thecooking,sotheonl ythingsheallowsmet o
doisclean,makebr eakfastandwashdi shes.
Shesay sI'
m heretogett oknowmyhusbandt o
benotbecomeamai d.Sincet odayis
Christ
masev eI
'
m gonnaconv i
ncehert oletme
helphercook.Iwenti ntother oom andjohn
wasi nthebathr
oom andIwasaboutt orunout
oftheroom whenhecameoutnaked.
John:
mor
ning.
It
urnedar
oundf
eel
i
ngembar
rassed.
Me:um morni
ng.I
'm sor
ryIdi
dn'
tknowy
ou
wer
etakingashower.
John:
itsOK,
weget
ti
ngmar
ri
edsoIdon'
tseea
pr
obl
em wi
thy
ouseei
ngmenaked.
Me:
wenotmar
ri
edy
et.
John:youjustaf
rai
dyouwon'
tbeabl
etokeep
yourhandsawayf r
om me.
Me:
jar
ight
.Keept
ell
i
ngy
our
sel
fthat
.
John:
thenwhywon'
tyoul
ookatme?
Me:
Idon'
twantt
o.
John:Idon'
tmindi
tify
ouwantme.I
m wi
l
li
ng
tosuckitupandgi
veyouJohnny
.
Me:
Johnnyr
eal
l
y?Youmustbej
oki
ngr
ight
.
John:
why?Doesn'
thel
ookl
i
keaJohnny
?
Comeandsee.
Me:
youwi
sh.
Iranoutofther oom.I'
mj ustgonnashowerin
thebathroom downst ai
rs.Itookofmyclot
hes
andIsteppedint heshower .Thei
mageofjohn
nakedkeptcreepinginmyhead.He' sbodyisso
perf
ect,Ikeptimagini
ngmy sel
fwit
hhiminbed
makingl ove.Ithi
nkI '
m sexuall
yfrustr
ated
that'
sall.Thatistheonl ythi
ngthatcanexpl ai
n
howIhav ebeenf eeli
ngf orhi
m.WhenIwas
doneshower i
ngIwenti ntoourr
oom, johnwas
nolongeri nthereandIwashappyIdi dn'thave
tofacehi m.Imoi stur
izedmybodyandIwor ea
yell
owf lowerydressandmysl eepers.Itwasso
hot.Iwentdownst air
st owar mthebreakfast.
Wesatdownont hetableandwewer ehav i
ng
breakfast.
Me:Iwantt
ohel
pyoucookChr
ist
masl
unch
gr
anny.
Gr
an:
thatwoul
dbel
ovel
y,i
twi
l
lbef
un.
John:
weweresupposet
ogooutt
oday
remember
.
Me:
jaaf
terwedonecooki
ngandbaki
ng.
John:
itsnotf
airgr
anny
,youst
eal
i
ngmywi
fe.
Gr
an:
manup.
Hewassul
ki
ng,
ohhel
ookedsoador
abl
e.
Gran:don'
twor
ryJohnnyshewi
l
lmakei
tupt
o
you.
Ij
ustlaughedmyheadoff
,whataninnuendo.
Grannywasjustl
ooki
ngatmeweird.
Gr
an:
am Imi
ssi
ngsomet
hing?
Il
ookedatj
ohnandhewasgi
vi
ngmeanaught
y
l
ook.
Me:
notatal
l
,justani
nsi
dej
oke.
 
Gr
an:
ohi
see.
Itookthedi
shest
otheki
tchent
owasht
hem
andjohnjoi
nedme.
John:
johnnyi
slooki
ngf
orwar
dtoy
oumaki
ngi
t
uptohimtoday.
Me:
johnnywi
l
lhav
etowai
tal
ongt
ime.
John:
I'
ll
tel
lgr
annyy
our
efused.
Me:
wel
ldoi
tgr
anny
'sboy
.
Hepr
etendedt
oleav
ethenhespl
ashedme
wi
thwater.
Me:yousogoi
ngt
odi
ejohnny
.Youj
ustwai
t
andsee.
 
HeranoutsideandIranaf terhi
m wit
hwaterin
mypalmst hatweresplashingever
ywhere.Ir
an
aft
erhi
m unt i
lIgott
ir
ed.SoIgav eupandIset
onthesteps.Iwasthinkingofawayt oget
backathim whenhisgr andmacall
edme.

Cooki
ngwi t
hgrannywassomuchf
unpl
usI
waslear
ningsomuchfrom her
.
Gr
an:
didy
ouguy
sdoi
tyet
?
Me:
grannywhatar
eyout
alki
ngabout
?
Gr
an:
youknowmoos,
thenast
y.
Omw,
thi
swomani
sgonnaki
l
lme.
 
Gran:whaty
ougi
vi
ngmet
hatl
ookf
or.Iwas
youngonce.
Me:
wenotev
enmar
ri
edy
etgr
anny
.
Gr
an:
youmustmar
kyourt
err
it
orynow.You
mustscr
ewhi m sogoodthathewi
l
lnothav
e
t
imeforsecondthought
s.
Me:ohgrannypl
ease,
west
il
lget
ti
ngt
oknow
eachot
her.
Gran:
whatbet
terwaytoknoweachot
hert
hen
t
oexplor
eeachother
'sbody?
Me:
granny
!!
Gran:what?I
tst
rue.Myl
atehusbandnever
cheat
edonme, thekeyi
stogi
veitanyt
ime,
anywhere.
Icov
eredear
s.
Me:
I'
ll
justpr
etendt
hatIdi
dn'
theary
ousay
t
hat
.
Gran:
sui
tyour
selfbutI
'
m al
way
sher
eify
ou
needsomepoi
nters.
Johncamei ntocheckonusandhewasj ust
maki ngmelaughnonstop.Hewashel pi
ngwith
thecooking.Iwasj
usthavi
ngt heti
meofmy
l
ife.Yohtheguyisj
usthopeless,hecan'
teven
pealpotat
oes.Hegaveupanddecidedtogo
havelunchwithhi
sfr
iend.Ij
ustcoul
dn'
thel
p
butwatchhim go.
Gr
an:
thatwasqui
ck?
Iwasbr
oughtbackt
oreal
i
ty.
Me:
whatwas?
Gran:Idi
dn'
tthi
nkt
haty
ouguy
swi
l
lfal
li
nlov
e
sofast.
Me:usi
nloveno.Wejusttol
erat
eeachot
her
.
Johni
sjustt
oogoof
yf orme.
Gr
an:
ify
ousayso.
Me:ImeanI'
veonl
yknownhi
mtwoweeks,
I
can'
tbei
nlovewit
hhi
m.
Gr
an:
arey
out
ryi
ngt
oconv
incemeory
our
sel
f?
Ij
ustkeptqui
et.Grannywaswrong.There'
sno
wayIam fal
li
ngforjohnandhedefi
nat l
y
doesn'
tl
oveme.I '
m surehei
sjusttr
yingtobe
ni
ce.
#j
ohn

Whenmygr annyt oldmet hatIhadanar ranged

mar r
iagei wast otal l
yagai nsti t
.Somydadt old
met ospendt hehol i
day swi ththegi rlandaf ter
thatifIstil
ldon'tl i
kehert henIcancal loffthe
weddi ng.Iwasnotpr epar edf orwhatIf oundi n
Emi l
y.Imeanwehav enot hingincommonand
she'sgr umpymostoft het i
mebutIj usthadso
muchf unwi t
hher .Itwasabonusal sot hatshe
wassogoodl ooki ng.Iguessmar ryingheri s
notgonnasuck.I tt akesal l t
hewi llpoweri nme
tonotki ssherormakel ov etoher .It
'stortureto
sleepwi thherev eryni ghtandnotdoany t
hing.I
don'twantt ot ouchherknowi ngt hatIdon' tlove
her.ItriedhelpingEmi lyandmygr annycook
butiswasj ustadi sast erandIj ustdeci dedt o
gohav elunchwi t hmyf r
iendt ony.Imetwi th
him att hemal landwet oaPor tuguese
r
est
aur
ant
.Weor
der
ed.
Tony
:sohowi
sthef
iancé?
It
houghtaboutEmi
l
yandIj
ustsmi
l
ed.
Me:wetaki
ngthi
ngssl
owbutI
'
m not
compl
etel
ymiser
abl
e.
Tony
:fr
om t
hatsmi
l
eony
ourf
aceIseey
ougot
some.
Me:ist
hatally
out hi
nkabout?Foryour
i
nfor
mationEmi l
yisnotthatki
ndifwoman.She
i
sspeci
al,sheisfunny,
shesmar tandshereal
l
y
chal
l
engesme.Shekeepsmeonmyt oes.
Tony
:wow!
Me:
andnow?
Tony
:someonei
sinl
ove.
Me:don'
tbestupi
d,i
tsonl
ybeent
woweeks.No
onecanfal
li
nlovesofast
.
Tony
:ify
ousayso.
Me:
ISAI
DI'
M NOTI
NLOVEWI
THHER.
Tony:
geezOK,
youdon'
thav
etobi
temyhead
off
.

Ican'
tbeinlovewit
hEmily
,tonydoesn'
tknow
whatheistalki
ngabout
.
[03/04,14:
04]Ron: comearound.Icri
edsohard.
Iwaiteduntil2am buthehasn'
tcomehome.I
real
lydon'tknowwhatt odoanymor e.It
ried
call
i
nghi m buthe'
sphonei soff
.Pleaselord
protecthimforme.

Att
hef
li
psi
deofkar
ma

I
nser
t19

#Emi
l
y

Ihav
ebeent
hinki
ngal
otaboutwhatgr
anny
said,
Ican'
tkeepjohnoutofmymi nd.Icamet o
aconclusi
onthatI'
mj ustl
usti
ngafterhim and
oncewehav esexthent hi
ngsweregoi ngtobe
OK.Christ
maswi t
hJohnandhi sgr annywas
awesome.Wewentt ochurchthenwecame
homet oopenpresentsandhav el
unch.Af t
er
thatj
ohnandIsatout si
deplayi
ngcar ds.
 
Me:
yousuchacheat
er.
John:
noy
ouj
ustdon'
tl
iket
olose.
Me:Idon'
thaveaproblem i
ftheper
soni
s
wi
nningfai
randsquare. 
John:
stopbei
ngsuchababy
.
Iknockedt hecar dsoutofhishand.Het hrew
thecardsatme.Iwasaboutt ostandupand
l
eavewhenIt r
ipped.Johncaughtmebef oreI
hitt
hef loor.Heissmel l
edsogood.Icoul dhear
him breath.Hisheartwasbeat i
ngsofast.His
l
ipsar esocl osetomi ne.Afterwhatseemed
l
ikeforev erheloweredhi sl
ipsonmi ne.Hisli
ps
wasj ustsosof tandcol d.I
tsendshiversall
overmybody .Iwasfeel
i
ngsensati
onsthatI
haveneverfel
tbefor
e.Iwasget
tingwet.Ifel
t
l
ikemysoul wasconnectedt
ohis.Thatscared
mesomuch.Ipushedhi m of
fwithallt
he
energyIhadinme. 
Me:don'ty
ouev erdot hattomeagain.You
mustgetthisstr
aight.I'
m wit
hyoubecauseI
am f
orcedtonotbecauseIwantt o.Idon'tl
ove
youandInev erwi
ll.
 
Irantother
oom andIj ustcri
ed.Idon'
tev
en
knowwhyIsai dthattojohn.Hehasbeen
nothi
ngbutnicetome.Ican' tf
allf
orhi
m.I
promisedAndy.Ijustgotsoconfused.

#John

Aft
ersomuchthinki
ng,Ideci
dedtost
op
fi
ghti
ngwit
hmysel f
.IknewthatIwasi
nlove
wit
hEmilyandIwasOKwi thit
.Shewasjustso
perfectforme.Shecompl ement edme.Iwas
planingtopr oposet oherof f
iciallyandgi veher
theweddi ngt hatshedeser ves.WhenIki ssed
her,Ihadnodoubtt hatIwantspendt her estof
myl ifewithher .Al lIwant edtodoi sjustmake
l
ov et oherther eandt hen.Igotsoconf usedby
thewaysheact ed.Mypar entst oldmet hatshe
i
snotf or
cedt omar rymeandt hatshecansay
noi fshewant st obutnowshet ellsmeshei s
beingf or
ced.I ft hatisthecaseIwi l
llethergo.I
don'twanthert obeunhappybecauseofme.I
wentt hehouse.Iknockedi nherdoorbutshe
didn'tanswer .Icoul dhearhercr ying.Itjust
brokemyhear t.It ookmycarkey sandIdr ove
tothebar .Idr anksomucht onumbt hepai n.
Befor eImetEmi lyIwasdat i
ngawhi tegi rl
call
edLeah.Iwasn' treall
yinl ovewi t
hher
becauseshewasabi tbit
chy .Iwassosexual ly
depr i
vedthatIendedupcal li
ngLeahandwe
wentt oherapar t
ment .
#Emi
l
y

Imusthav efall
enasleepbecauseIwokeupt o
myphonebeepi ng.Iopenedthemessageandi t
wasfrom john."Ineverplanedt
of all
inlove
wit
hy ou,Ineverknewt hatyouwer efor
cedto
marryme.Iwasundert heimpressionthatwe
werejustgetti
ngt oknoweachot hertoseeif
weareagoodf it.Il
oveyouenought oletyou
go.Youdon'thav etomar rymeany more.Have
aniceli
fe".
Readingthatreal l
ybrokemyheart
.Itstr
uewhat
theysaythaty oudon'tknowwhaty ouhave
unti
lyouloseit .Ihadtobehonestwithmyself
.
Idon'
tknowhoworwhenbutIhav efall
eni
n
l
ov ewithjohn.Ihav etotel
lhi
m.Iranoutofthe
room tothelounge.
Gr
an:
chi
l
dyoul
ookl
i
kehel
l
.
If
orcedasmi
l
e.
Me:
wher
eisj
ohngr
anny
.Ineedt
otal
ktohi
m 
Gr
an:helefthour
sagoandhe'
snothomey
et,
whathappened?
Me:
heki
ssedme.
Gran:
Isti
l
ldon'
tseeaprobl
em st
il
l.Youshoul
d
bedoingmoret
henkissi
ng.
Me:
Iov
err
eact
edandnowhebr
okeupwi
thme.
Gran:
OKbutyousai
dyoudon'
tl
ovehi
m sot
hat
shoul
dbef
ine.
Me:
that
'st
hepr
obl
em Idol
ovehi
m.
Gr
an:
ohbaby
,hewi
l
lcomear
ound.
Icri
edsohard.Iwaiteduntil2am buthehasn'
t
comehome.Ir eall
ydon'tknowwhatt odo
anymore.It
ri
edcal l
inghim buthe'
sphoneisoff.
Pleasel
ordprotecthimforme.
[
03/
04,
14:
05]Ron:
Att
hef
li
psi
deofkar
ma

I
nser
t20
18S

#John

Iopenedmyey es,myheadwaspoundi ng.I

couldf eel myv einsbreathi
ng.Ilookedar ound
andIwasn' tinmyr oom.Ilookbesi demeand
Leahwassl eepi ngnextt ome.
Shit.
..
.yest erday '
sev entsplayedov erandover
i
nmyhead.Whathav eIdone?Ilookedar ound
andIcoul dn' tfi
ndanyusedcondoms.Ohno.I
gotupsl owl y,Igotdr essedandIt iptoedoutof
theroom.Il ookedf ormycarkey sIcouldn't
fi
ndt hem.If oundher sinstead.I
twi l
lhavetodo.
Idrovet ot henear estpharmacyt obuyLeaht he
mor ningaf terpi ll
.Icouldn'
triskforhertoget
pregnant .Igoti tandIdr ov
ebackt oherhouse.
Igotint hehouseandshewasdr inki
ngcof f
ee.
Me:
hi
Leah:ohyouback,It
houghty
our
egr
ett
edwhat
happenedandlef
t.
Me:Iwentt
ogety
oupi
l
ls.Her
eletmegety
ou
wat
er.
Leah:
seri
ousl
yJay,wi
ll
itber
eal
l
ythatbadi
fI
getpr
egnantf
oryou?
Me:pl
easeLeah,
youknowthatweonl
yhav
ing
f
un.I'
m get
ti
ngmarr
iedremember
.
Leah:youknowIl
ovey
ouandthef
actthatyou
cal
ledmemeansthatyouf
eel
somethi
ngf or
met oo.
Me:takey
ourheadoutoft
hecl
oudsLeah.I
t
onl
ymeansIwashorny.
Leah:
wowj
ay,
getout
!!
Me:
wit
hpl
easur
ebutf
ir
stdr
inkt
his.
Shetookthepi
l
lsanddranki tandthenIwentt o
l
ookformykeysandleft.Imightseem thatI
washarshonLeahbutIdon'tbeli
eveingiving
peopl
efal
sehope.I
'm quiteandhonestguyand
Ialway ssayhowIfeel.Iswitchedonmyphone
andIf oundEmily'
smissedcal ls.Shesentmea
coupleofmessagest oo.It r
iedcalli
ngherbut
herphonej ustr
ang.Ifeltashamed.Whatki nd
ofhusbandwi ll
IbewhenIl eavemyf i
anceat
homeandcheatonher .Iknowourmar ri
agei
s
arrangedbutshedeser vesbetter.Probabl
y
that'
swhyshedoesn' twantme.

#Emi
l
y

Ihardl
ysl eptthenightbefore,Ikeptwai ti
ngf or
Johntowal kin.EachtimeIwoul dhearacar
soundIwoul druntothewi ndowt ochecki fit
washi m andsomanyt imesIwasdi sappoi nt
ed.
Whati fsomet hinghappenedt ohim.Not hink
posit
ive,heispr obabl
ywi thhisfri
ends.I tsucks
thatIdon'thav ehisfr
iend'snumber .Iwasj ust
l
y i
nginbedf eel
ingthatpaineatingthr oughmy
heartwhenmyphoner ang.Iansweredwi thout
checki
ngt
hecal
l
erI
d. 
Me:
john 
Mom: hitoyoutoo.Whywoul
dyout
hinki
ts
yourhusbandcall
ing.
Me:
becausehedi
dn'
tsl
eepathome.
Mom: what?Theyt ookyout
heretomakey ou
suff
er.I
'm gonnagivehi
sfat
herapi eceofmy
mind.Ican'tt
oler
atesuchdi
srespect.
Ical
medmymom downandIt
oldwhat
happened.
Mom:
ohmybabybutwhywoul
dyoudot
hat
?
Me:Iwasscaredmom andyouknowaf
terAndy
Inev
erthoughtt
hatIwoul
deverf
all
inl
ove
agai
n. 
Mom: Iknowyouhav
ebeenthr
oughalotand
youscaredbuty
oumustl
etpeopl
ein.
Me:
Ifeel
li
keI
'
m bet
ray
ingAndy
.
Mom:
Andyi
sgoneandi
fher
eal
l
ylov
edy
ou
l
i
key
ousai
d.Hewoul
dwanty
out
obehappy
.
Me:nowwhatdoIdomom.Hebr
okeupt
he
engagement
.
Mom: don'tworr
ybaby,
heisj
usthurt
.Hewi
l
l
comeback.Andwhenhedoes.Youmake
sweetlovetothatmanandhewil
lfor
get
ever
ything.
Me:mom geez,
firstgr
annynowy
ou.Not
ev
eryt
hingi
ssolvedwithsex.
Mom: I
'
vel i
vedi
nthisworldl
ongerthanyou.I
'm
notsay
ingsexwillsol
veanythi
ng.I
twill
calm
hi
m downt oapointwhereyoutwocant al
k
aboutt
hings.
Me:OKmom,
Ihopehecomessoon.Imi
sshi
m
al
ready
.
Mom:
your
eal
l
ylov
ehi
m hey
.
Me:
yesIdo,
Ihopei
tsnott
ool
ate.
Mom:
itsnot
,justdowhatIt
oldy
ou.
Me:OKmom,
I'
m gonnagot
akeashower
.By
eI
l
oveyou.
Mom: Il
ovey
out
ooanddocal
lmewi
tht
he
det
ail
s.
Mymom i sreal
lycr
azy.Ican'tbeli
eveI'
mt aking
rel
ati
onshi padvi
cefrom mymom.Iwenti nto
thebathroom andItookashower ,Iwore
l
eggingst hatfi
tt
edmel i
keagl ovesandashi r
t
thatwasopenedatt heback.IputonmyNi ke
sneakersandt i
edmyhai ri
ntoamessybun.I
putonpowderandr edli
psti
ck.Ilookedmy sel
f
i
nt hemirror.GodI'
m beauti
ful.Iwentdown
stai
rsandgr annywashav i
ngbr eakfast
.
Me:
mor
ninggr
anny
.
Gr
an:
mor
ningbaby
,howdi
dyousl
eep?
Me:
tobehonestgr
anny
,Ihar
dlysl
ept
. 
Gr
an:don'twor
rydear
.He'
spr
obabl
yjustwi
th
hi
sfr
iends.Hewil
lcome.
Me:
whati
fsomet
hinghappenedt
ohi
m?
Gran:
wewouldhavehear
dalongti
meago.Bad
newstrav
elsf
ast
.Don'
tyouworr
y.
Me:
Ihopeso.Ir
eal
l
ycan'
tl
iv
ewi
thouthi
m.
Gr
an:
Ithoughthei
stoogoof
yfory
ou.
Shej
ustlaughedatme.Li
keser
iousl
ythi
s
woman.Howcanshemakef unofmei nati
me
l
iket
his.
Gran:l
ightenupmychi
l
d.Youlookver
ygood
today
.I'm sur
ehei
sgonnaeatyouupwhenhe
seesyou.
Me:
ohgr
anny(Ibl
ushed)
.
Gran:st
oppret
endingthatitsnotwhatyou
werehopinghedoeswhenheseesy ou.Iwas
youngonceIknowt hetr
icks.Don'
tbeashamed
he'
syourhusbandanditisy ourGodgiv
enright
.
Igi
veuponthiswoman.Iwasnowsecond
guessi
ngmychoiceifclothes.I
fgrannycoul
d
fi
gureoutmyplant
henj ohnwi l
lseeri
ght
thr
oughme.WhydidIlistent omymot her
.I
st
oodupt ogochangebutIheardthedoor
openandjohnwalkedi
n.Helookedatmel i
keI
wasturni
ngint
oahotdog.Hel ookedl
ikecr
ap.

#John

Iwalkedint hehouse, Icouldheremygr andma

l
augh.Iwal kedi ntothedi nningroom andEmily
waswi thgranny .Ilookedatherandmyhear t
l
it
erall
yst opped.Iswear .Shelookedso
beauti
ful.Thiswomani skill
ingmesof t
ly.I
fmy
grannywasn' tinther oom Iwoul dhavetaken
herthanandt here.
 
Me:
mor
ning
Them:
mor
ning.
Gran:
wherehav ey
oubeen?t
hepoorgi
rlhas
notsl
eptbecauseofy
ou.
Iguessther
eishopeaft
eral
l
,Iwashappythat
shecaredaboutmethenmyheartsankwhenI
remember
edwhatIdidwit
hLeah.HowdoIt
ell
hert
hat
?Shewil
lneverf
orgiv
eme.
Me: I
'm sorr
yIdi
dn'
tmeantoscar
eyouguys.I
hadal i
ttl
etomuchtodr
inkandIsl
eptatmy
fr
iendshouse.
Gran:Icouldcar
eless,whatar
eyou
apologi
singtomef or
.
Emil
y:it
sOK,got
akeashowerandI
'
llpr
epar
e
youbreakf
ast
.
Shesmi l
edatmeandIf eltal umpformi nmy
throat.Ij
ustnodded, Idi
dnott r
ustmyv oice.
Whyi sshebei ngsoni cetome?Any wayIwent
upst air
sandIt ookthequi ckestshowerev er.I
appliedloti
onandIwor eNi keshort
sandaNi ke
tankt opandsleepers.Iheadeddownst airs.
WhenEmi lysawmeshej ustbroughtmeapl at
e
withaf ull
Englishbreakfast.Iwassohungr y
andt hefoodtestedsogood.Shewentt of et
ch
j
uice, whenshet ur
nedandIsawbar ebackand
hertinyassmov i
ngohIf eltjohnnygiv
ehera
standi
ngovati
on.Mygr
annyj
ustl
ookedatme
andlaughed.
 
Gran:il
lgi
v eyouguyssomespace.Iwi
llbei
n
myr oom ifanyoneneedsme.Ify
ouknockandI
don'tanswerjustwalki
n.I
'
llbehavi
ngmyear
pl
ugson.
Emilyj
ustgaveheraweirdlookandshehurr
ied
upstai
rsl
aughing.Emi
lysetopposi
teme.I'
m
sorr
ywebot hsaidatt
hesamet ime.
Me:
yougof
ir
st.
Emily:I
'
mr eal
lysorr
yaboutwhathappened
yester
day.Iwasjustscar
edofwhatIfel
tfor
you.Iover
acted.
Me:i
tsOKdear
.Itt
ookmesomet i
met
ocome
t
oter
mswithwhatIfel
tfory
ou.
Emily:Iknow,
Ihav
en'
thadthebestlucki
n
rel
ati
onshipsandy
oujustseemedtogoodto
betrue.
Me:
oh,
doIl
ookl
i
keaf
air
ytal
e.
Emil
y:t
rustyoutosaysomet
hingr
andom.So
younotbreaki
ngupwithme?
Me:ev
enifIwas,Iwon'
tafterIsawwhatyou
ar
eweari
ng.Ican'
tlett
hatsli
pawayfrom me.
Shebl
ushed,
shei
sjustsocut
e.
Me:
Ijusthadt
o,y
ouwer
ebeggi
ngf
ori
t.
Emil
y:ohr
eal
l
y,wewillseewhowi
l
lbel
aughi
ng
whenIcometobednaked.
Me:
youwoul
dn'
tdar
e 
Emi
l
y:t
ryme.
Me:
Iwi
l
lrapey
ou?
Emily
: heheyoucantmakeawomanputout
thatyouwil
lresor
ttor
ape?If
eel
fory
ou.
Me:pleasechanget
hesubj
ect
,youget
ti
ngme
exci
ted.
Emi
l
y:t
hat
'st
hewhol
epoi
nt.
Shel
aughed,
thi
swomani
ssoev
il
.
#Emi
l
y

Johnf i
nishedeati
ngandIwenttot owashthe
dishesandhewentupst ai
rs.Hewassohor ny,
i
tmademel aughsomuch.Ifini
shedwashing
thedishesandIwenttowat chmyf avor
it
e
reali
tyshow.Teenmom.Hal fwayt hr
oughthe
show, Igotatextf
rom j
ohnaskingmet ogo
helphim withsomethi
ng.
IopenedthedoorandIcoul dnotseehi m
anywhere.AsIwasaboutt oturnbackhecame
andpinnedmeagai nstt hedoor.Heki ssedme.
Hiskisseswasper f
ect .Il
ostbalanced.Icl osed
myey es.Hewashol dingmywai st.Ican' tev
en
explai
nwhatt hosekisseswher edoi ngt ome.
Hepul l
edout.Iwasbr eathi
ngsof ast .Ilooked
i
ntohisey esandallIsawwasl ove.Hel edme
tothebedandIl ayonmyback.Heki ssedme
sopassionately
.Hepl antedsmal lki
ssesonmy
tummyandneck.Befor
eIknewitwewer
e
alr
eadynaked.Hel
ookedatme.
John:
doy
ouwantmet
ost
op.
Me:
n..
no.
GeesIwasev
enst
utt
eri
ng.
John:
youjustsoperf
ect
.I'
vebeenwai
ti
ngt
o
dothi
ssi
ncet hef
ir
stdayIsawyou.
Me:
Ilov
eyou.
John:
ohbabyIl
ovey
out
oo.
Johnreal
lyt
ookhistimewi t
hthef or
eplay.My
wholebodywasshiveri
ng.Iwassowett hatI
fel
tli
keIhadari
verdownt here.Icoul
dn'ttake
i
tanymoreIwantedhimi nsi
deme.
Me:pl
easebaby
,makel
ovet
ome.Ican'
ttakei
t
any
more.
Hi
m:It
houghty
ouwi
l
lnev
erask.
Heposi
ti
onedhimsel
fhimselfbet
weenmy
l
egs.
IHaven'
thadsexforalongti
meandIwas
soti
ght
.Hestruggl
edabi tt
ogethim.Hef i
nal
ly
di
dandIgasped.Hest ar
tedmovinginmev er
y
sl
owlywhi
lehewasl ooki
ngintomyey es.I
t
wassoint
ense.Thepleasurewasjustsomuch.
Me:
ohbaby
Hi
m:y
ouar
esohot
,youar
edr
ivi
ngmecr
azy
.
Johnwast hemostgent l
el overever.WhenI
hadsexwi t
hmat t,hewoul dj ustpumpi ntome.
Ifel
tnopl easur eatal l
.Wi t
hjohnwewer enot
havingsex, wewer emaki ngl ove.Afterawhi l
e
oftorturehepi ckeduphi space.Ijust
screamedofpl easur e.Ihavenev erfelt
somet hingsogoodbef ore.Ijustpull
edt he
sheetsandt henIf el
tani ntensewav eandmy
bodywasshi vering.Icameandshor tlyaf ter
thatjohnwasscr eami ngshi t
.Het hen
coll
apsedont opofme.Her oll
edoffandwe
werebusybr eathingheav il
y.Wewer el aying
therenakedandqui et,t
herewasnoneedf or
wor ds.Ourhear tswher espeaki ngforus.
Extralongformyl ovel
yreader
s.Ikeptmyend
ofthepr omisesopleaseli
ke,commentand
share.Let'
smakeourf ami l
ygrow.Eachperson
thatreadsthisinser
tmustshareit.I
tsnotso
hard.Goodni ght.

[
03/
04,
16:
19]Ron:
Att
hef
li
psi
deofkar
ma

I
nser
t21

#emi
l
y

Wemadel oveacouplemor eti

mesandwef el
l
asleep.Iwokeupbymygr umbl i
ngtummy .I
reachedformyphoneandi twaspasteight.Oh
myGodIcan' tbel
iev
ei t
ssol at
e.Il
ookedat
j
ohnsl eepi
ngsopeacefull
y.Iwenttotakea
showerandIwor esweatpantsandaT-shi
rtand
sleepers.Igotdownstair
sandIf oundgr
anny
wat chi
ngNi ger
ianmovies.Ihavecometoknow
thatshel ovest
hem somuch.
Me:
eveni
nggr
anny
Gr
an:
eveni
ngl
ove,
howar
eyouf
eel
i
ng.
Me:
I'
mfeel
i
nggood.
Shehadt
hebi
ggestsmi
l
eonherf
ace.
Gr
an:ofcour
sey ouare,af
terasessi
onli
kethat
whowouldn'
tbe.I'
m evensurpr
isedyouup.
Ijusti
gnoredthatst
atement
.Idi
dn'
twanna
takethebait
.
Me:
Iwashungr
y.I
sther
eanyf
ood?
Gran:Imadest
eakandcheesepi
ewi
thgr
een
salad.
Me:
hmm,
letmegodi
shup.
Iwentt
ot heki
tchenanddi
shedsomef ood,
warmeditupohi tsmel
l
edsodiv
ine.Iwentto
theloungeandat
ewhi
l
ewat
chi
ngTVwi
th
granny.
Me:Idon'
tknowhowyoucanl
iket
hesemov
ies
t
heyjustsounr
eal
,l
oudandl
ong.
Gran:
theyent
ert
ainme,
keepmecl
oset
omy
l
atehusband.
Me:
howso?
Gran:
hewastheonewhol i
kedthemovies.He
usedtomakemewat cht
hem withhi
m and
whenhediedi
tbecamemyt radi
ti
on.
Me:wow,Ihopejohnandmecanhav
eev
en
hal
fthemarr
iageyouhad.
Gran:
youwill
,menar esimplecreat
uresal
lyou
havetodoisfeedhim andsexhim good.Isee
youalr
eadygotthatl
astpartri
ght.
Ibl
ushed,
thi
swomanr
eal
l
y.Igi
veup.
Gr
an:
ohEmi
l
yyoudr
ivemecr
azy
.
Shesai
dmaki
ngsexsoundsj
ustwhenj
ohn
wascomingdownst
air
s.Iwasso
embar
rassed.
 
John:
grannyy
ousonaught
y.
Gran:thesoundswer
ebr
eaki
ngt
hroughmy
heartearpl
ugs.
John:
that
'sbecauseIknowwhatI
'
m doi
ng.
Gr
an:
boypl
easey
ouaamat
eur
.
Ican'
tbeli
evethi
st woaretal
ki
ngaboutsexj
ust
l
ikethat,
whenIf eelsouncomfor
tabl
ewit
h
wholethi
ng.Iwishthegroundwil
lopenand
swall
owmeup.  
Me:
arey
ouhungr
ybaby
?
John:
yesl
ove.
Ij
ustranawayt
ot heki
tchentogetf
oodfor
John.Thenwesetandwat cht
hemov i
ewit
h
j
ohnjustcompl
aini
ngthroughout
.
John:
comeon,
aret
hispeopl
eact
ingorjoki
ng?
Thi
sguywasi
nacaracci
dent,
ist
hatsuppose
t
obeahospi
tal
wit
hnodr
iporany
thi
ng?
Us:
sshhh
John:
geezOK.
Sur
pri
singl
yIenj
oyedt
hemov
iesomuch.

2mont
hsl
ater

JohnandIdecidedtodat eabitbeforewegot
marri
ed.Iwasbacki nJo'burgbutwemet
almostever
yweekend.Inev erthoughtIwoul
d
besohappy.Justthinkingabouthim gaveme
goosebumpsori si
tnauseated.Idon'tknowI
havebeenfeeli
ngreall
ywei r
dforsomet ime
now.Iwokeupandcheckedmyphone.Ther e
wasnomessagef r
om john.Forsomer easonI
fel
ttoemotional
.Idecidedtocallhi
m.
John:
Mor
ningl
ove.
Hesai
dthatwi
thasl
eepyv
oice.
Me:don'
tyoudaremor
ningl
oveme.Howcan
youbesoself
ish.
John:
I'
m sor
rybaby
,whatdi
dIdo.
Me:
youdon'
tcar
eaboutme.
Ist
art
edcr
ying.

#John

Thepastt womont hswi t

hEmi l
yhasbeen
wonder ful.Itfeelsli
keI'
mf all
inginlovewithher
overandov eragain.Iwasv eryconvincedthatI
wantt omar ryherandIhav ealr
eadyboughther
aring.I'mj ustwai t
ingfortheper f
ectmoment
topropose.Howev ershehasbeenact ingvery
weirdf orthepastweek.Idr eadedev encall
ing
herbecauseonemi nutesheisf i
neandt henext
she'scr y
ing.Ir eall
ydon'tknowwhat 'sgoingon.
Shej ustcal l
edmeandwasaccusi ngmeof
whatIdon' tknow.
Emi
l
y:y
oudon'
tcar
eaboutme.
Shej
ustst
art
edcr
ying,
her
ewegoagai
n.
Me:
youknowIl
ovey
ou.
Emi
ly
:ifyoul
oveme,y
ouwil
lneverl
etmewake
upwi
thoutamorni
ngt
extf
rom y
ou.
OhGodpleasegi
vemepat
ience.Ican'
tdeal
wi
tht
hisnow.
Me:
babyIwasj
ustsl
eepi
ng.
Emi
l
y:soy
oursl
eepi
smor
eimpor
tantt
hanme?
Me:
pleasebabe,
stopact
ingcr
azy
.
Ir
egr
ett
edi
tassoonast
hewor
dscameout
.
Emil
y:ohsonowI '
m cr
azyhey,
itscool
.It
sov
er
don'
tyouevercal
lmeagain.
Shehangup.Icall
edbackandshedi dn't
answer.YouknowwhatIt hinki
tsf orthebest .
Sheisdriv
ingmecrazyany way.Iwentt ot akea
showerandgotdressedininabl acksui t
.Itook
mybriefcaseandIheadeddownst ai
rs.Ifound
mygr annydownst ai
rssett
ingthetabl
efor
breakfast
.Don'
tjudgeme, Ihavemyownhouse
butIdon'tl
ikel
i
vingalone.Ican'tt
akecareof
my sel
f.Iwasgonnamov eoutwhenImar ry
Emi l
ybutnowIdoubti t
sgonahappen.
Me:
mor
ningGr
anny
.
Gran:
grannymor
ningmybabyhowdi
dyou
sl
eep?
Me:
Isleptfi
neunt
ilEmi
l
ycal
l
edt
ospoi
lmyday
.
I
'mti
redifher
.
Gr
an:
whatdi
dshedo?
Me:
she'
sact
ingal
lcr
azyandshebr
okeupwi
th
me.
Gran:
thatgi
rll
ovesy
ou,
youmusthav
edone
somethi
ng.
Me:wowgr
eatt
oknowmygr
annywi
l
lbe
al
waysonmysi
de.
Gr
an:
I'
m ont
hesi
deofj
ust
ice.
Me:ifyoumustknow,
shefr
eakedoutbecause
Idi
dn'tsendheramor
ningt
ext
.
Gr
an:
justt
hat
?
Me:yesandsheiscry
ingf
ornor
easonl
atel
y.
She'
sreal
lyannoy
ing.
Gr
an:
youmustgot
oherandapol
ogi
se.
Me:
I'
m notgonnadot
hat
.Idi
dn'
tdoany
thi
ng
t
oher.
Gr
an:
wel
li
tsy
ourf
aul
tshe'
sli
ket
hat
.
Me:
Idon'
thav
eti
mef
ort
his.
Ist
oodupandl ef
t.Whywasgrannytaki
ngher
si
de.Ihatet
his.ThatiswhyIneveri
nvol
ved
myselfi
nrel
ationshi
ps.

Iknowit
sshor
tbutI
'
m notfeel
ingwel
l
.Iwi
l
l
makeitupt
oyouguyst
onight.
[
03/
04,
16:
19]Ron:
Att
hef
li
psi
deofkar
ma
I
nser
t22

#Emi
l
y

Iwassohurtthatj
ohnwoul
dtr
eatmesobad.I
wentdownstair
sandImetmysist
eri
nlawLol
a.
Me:
mor
ningsi
s
Lol
a:mor
ningmybabyhowar
eyou.
Me:
I'
m good,
whati
sthathor
ri
blesmel
l
?
Lol
a:whatsmel
l
?
Me:
thatf
oodwhatar
eyoueat
ing.
Lol
a:beaconandeggs.
Me:
itsmel
l
shor
ri
ble.
Lol
a:i
sthatso?
Shewasl
ooki
ngatmewei
rd,
Iwonderwhat
'
s
goi
ngoni
nherhead.
Me:
whyar
eyoul
ooki
ngatmel
i
ket
hat
?
Lol
a:not
hing.
Me:canyoubeli
evethatJohnhadt
heaudaci
ty
t
osleepinst
eadofsendingmeamor ni
ng
message.
Lol
a:ohno,
howcoul
dhe?
Me:
mxm sar
casm doesn'
tbecomey
ou.
Lol
a:becausey
oubei
ngcr
azy
.
Thatwordagai
n.Ij
ustst
art
edcry
ingagai
n.Why
i
sev er
yonebei
ngsomeant ome?
Me:
whyar
eyoubei
ngmeant
ome.
Lol
a:I
'
m sor
rymybaby
.
Me:
Iwantcor
nfl
akeswi
thpeanutbut
ter
.
Lol
ajustl
ookedatmeandl
aughed.Shegav
e
meahug.
Lol
a:goodby
ebaby
,I'
l
lseey
oul
ater
.
Imademy selfcornf
lakesandIputsome
peanutbut
teronandIat e.Wowwher ehasthi
s
beenallmyli
fe.Itwasjustsoamazing.Iwent
upstairsandIt
ookashower .Iworea
sweat pant
swithaT-shi
rt
.Sincemybr east
s
wer esmallIdi
dn'
tneedtowearabr a.Iwentt
o
theloungetowatchTV.Imusthav efall
en
asleepbecauseIwokeupt oLolashakingme.
 
Lol
a:sor
ryf
orwaki
ngy
ouupbaby
.Comel
et'
s
go.
Me:
wher
ear
ewegoi
ng?
Lol
a:upst
air
s.
Me:
why
?
Lol
a:I
'l
lexpl
aint
here.Theki
dsar
eher
eandI
don'
twantthem t
ohearus.
Me:
OK
Wewal kedupst
air
sintomyroom andLola
closedt hedoor
.Iwassocuri
oust of
indout
whatwashappeni ng.Shedugint
oabagand
tookoutsomeboxes.Shet hr
ewt hem atme
andt heywerepregnancyt
est
s.
Me:
I'
m notpr
egnant
.
Lol
a:haveyoueverseenanor mal
per
soneat
peanutbut
terandcornf
lakes?
Me:
itcanhappenbesi
desI
'
m ont
hepi
l
l.
Lol
a:t
aket
het
est
s,y
ouhav
enot
hingt
olose.
ItookthetestsandIwenttomyen-sui
teandI
peedonal l3test
.AndIjustsatt
her
ewaiti
ng
fortheresul
ts.

#John

Iwasgr umpythewhol edayjustthi

nkingabout
myEmi l
y.Howcanmysweetbabyt ur
ni nt
o
someonesoannoy ing.Ist
il
ll
ovehersomuch, I
neverthoughtthatIhaditinmet ofal
ldeeply
foranyone.IguessIshouldjustamuseherand
apologi
se.Shemeanssomucht omet hen
pri
de.Iwentintoameet i
ngandthenwhenIgot
tomyof ficemysecr et
arytol
dmet hatEmi l
y
saidIshouldgot oherhouseitsanemer gency.
Ididn'twastetime.Iwasf l
ying.Ihopeit
s
nothingsev er
e.Ican'tseemyl if
ewithouther.
OhGodpl easekeephersaf e,IpromiseIwil
l
sendhergoodmor ni
ngmessagesev eryday
.I
reachedt hehouseandIj ustraninsi
de.Iwasso
angr ywhensawEmi lysit
ti
ngi nfr
ontoftheTV
eating.Whatthehel l
,Ialmostgotahear tat
tack
fornot hi
ng.
Me:
hi
Emi
l
y:hi
baby
.
Sherantomeandhuggedme.Shesmell
edli
ke
peanutbutt
er.Shel
edmet
oherroom wegoti
n
andIclosedthedoor
.
Me:what'
sgoingon?Iwassowor
ri
edabout
youmylove.
 
Emil
y:Ihav
esomet
hingv
eryi
mpor
tantt
otel
l
you.
 
Me:
what
'
swr
ongbaby
. 
Emi
l
y:I
'
m pr
egnant
.
Thosewor dcutthoughmesodeepbutnow
thatIthi
nkofit
,itr
eall
ymakessense.She
gainedweightandshewasact i
ngcrazy,I
wonderwhyIdi dn'
tthi
nkofitsoon.Igetnow
whygr annysai
ditsmyf aul
t.
Emi
l
y:ar
eyouangr
y.
Me:ohmyl
oveno,
I'
m sohappy
.Thanky
ou
baby
. 
Ineverthoughti
twaspossibl
etolovesomeone
mor ebutEmilyhasprovedmewrong.She
camet omeandj ustwi
peawaymyt ear
s.I
didn'
tevenreali
seIwascryi
ng.IHuggedherso
ti
ghtly
.
Me:
Ilov
eyou.
Emi
l
y:Il
ovey
out
oo.
Ij
ustki
ssedhersopassi
onat
ely
.
[
03/
04,
16:
19]Ron:
Att
hef
li
psi
deofkar
ma
I
nser
t23

#Emi
l
y

WhenIf oundoutt hatIam pr egnantIwasso

scared.Idi dn'tknowwhatj ohn'sreactionwoul d
bet othewhol ething.Wehav enev erdiscussed
chil
drensi ncewest arteddating.Wel lIwasso
touchedbyhowhappyhewas.Heev encr i
ed.I
l
ov ethismansomuch.Ican' tbelievet hatafter
everythi
ngIhav ef oundhappi ness.Somet imes
Ievenhadt opi nchmy sel
ftober emi ndedt hat
i
tisnotadr eam.Hej ustcompl et
esmet oan
extentthatIcoul dn'texplai
n.Wewer elayingon
mybed.Wewer ebothnakedsoy ouknowwhat
happened.Hewasst rokingmyst illf
lattummy .
Heputhi searonmyt ummy .
Me:
babewhatar
eyoudoi
ng?
John:
I'
mtr
yingt
oheart
hebaby
.
Me:youverywei
rdreal
l
y,i
tshar
dlyaper
sony
et
Idon'
tknowwhatyouexpectt
ohear.
Hest
art
edt
oti
ckl
eme.
John:
don'
tyoudar
ecal
lmysonani
t,apol
ogi
se
now.
Me:
So.
..
sor
rybabe.
John:
goodgi
rl
.Sol
et'
sst
artt
alki
ngnames.
Me:
babei
sn'
ti
tal
i
ttl
etoear
ly?
John:ofcour
senotbaby,
hemustknowt
hathe
i
slovedfrom dayone.
Me:
sui
tyour
sel
fbabe.
John:
howaboutJonat
han?
Me:
howaboutno?
John:
your
eal
l
ygr umpy
,any
waywewi
l
lcome
upwit
hsomet
hing.
Hekissedmesoslowly.Ifel
tli
kemyi nsi
des
weredoingSummersault
s.Icouldfeel
ev
erythi
nginmytummycomeout .Ir
antothe
toi
lettothrowup.Mymanj ustcametoholdmy
hairback,hewasrubbi
ngmyback.I'm soglad
thatIdon'thav
etothi
salone.
John:
Wil
lyoumar
ryme?
Me:
y ouareani
diot
,i
sthi
sthet
imey
ouchoose
t
opropose?
John:
what
'swr
ongwi
thnow?
Me: ohIdon'
tknow,
may bet
hefactt
hatI
'
m
kneeli
ngovert
hetoi
letandt
hrowi
ngup.
John:see,ourpr
oposal
stor
ywi
llbeunique.
Thereistoomuchofthesameoutther
e.
Ist
oodup,
Ihuggedhi
m.
Me:
yesI
llmar
ryy
ouMrAbr
aham.
Istoodonmyti
ppytoesandIputmyar
ms
aroundhi
sneckandtr
iedtoki
sshi
m.
John:don'
tgetmewrongbaby
,buty
ouneedt
o
brushyourt
eethf
ir
st.
 
Isatdownont
hef
loorandIj
ustcr
ied.Ihat
e
thewayt hisbabywasmaki ngmef eel.John
j
ustpul ledmeupandgav emethewar mesthug
andt ookmyt oot hesink.Hebrushedmyt eet
h
formeandwewentt otheshowerandwe
shower edt ogether.Hewashedmeev enonmy
cookie.Hesuchal ovelyman.Hedr i
edmeand
carri
edmet other oom.Hemot ori
zedmybody
andanddr essedmeup.Het ookhissuitand
from it
spockethet ookoutajewelrybox,he
openedandt ookoutadi amondr i
ng.Itwasso
beautiful.Hesl i
ppedi ti
nmyr i
ngfinger.Ij
ust
kissedhi m sopassi onatel
y.
John:babypl
easedon'
tki
ssmel
i
ket
hat
.You
makingmehor ny
.

#John

Thankyoulor
dfort
heblessi
ngy
ouhav
egiven
me.I'
m gonnamarr
ythewomanofmydreams
andnowwehav eachil
dontheway
.Whatmore
canIaskf or.Afterput
ti
ngtheri
ngonmybaby '
s
fi
nger .Sheranoutoft heroom scr
eaming.Thi
s
i
sgonnabeal ongninemonths.Iwent
downst airsandIf oundLol
aandEmi l
y
screami ng.Whyar ewomansuchloud
creatures. 
Lol
a:congr
atsj
ohn,
youar
ear
eal
man.
Me:
soy
out
houghtIwasf
akebef
ore?
Shegott
hatwei
rdl
ookonherf
ace.
Me:l
ight
enup,
Iknowwhaty
oumeantand
t
hankyou.
Shesmi
l
ed.
Lol
a:t
hiscal
l
sforcel
ebr
ati
on.
Me:
ofcour
se
Emi
l
y'sbr
othercamei
n
Anthony:
what'sgoingi
nher
e?Ihear
dpeopl
e
shouti
ngfrom out
side.
Lol
a:Emi
l
yandJohnj
ustgotengaged.
Anthony
:wowcongr
atsguy
s.I
'
m sohappyf
or
youguys.
Us:
thanky
ou.
Heshookmyhandandt
henhehuggedhi
s
si
ster
.
Me:
let
'sal
lgooutt
odi
nner
,myt
reat
.
Ant
hony
:sur
eIcannev
ersaynot
ofr
eef
ood.
Weal ll
aughed.I
fsomeonewoul
dhavetol
dme
Iwouldbet hi
shappy
,Iwoul
dhav
elaughedat
thei
rfaces.

Fi
vemont
hsl
ater
.

#Emi
l
y

Bei
ngmar r
iedt
ojohnwasjustadeli
ght.He
wasthemostamazinghusbandawomancould
askfor
.Iwasnow6mont hspregnantandI
couldn' twaitfort hisbabyt ocomeout .Idon't
under standwhenwomansayt hatt heyenj oy
pregnancy .Mi newasj usthor rible.Idi dnot
enjoyany thi
ngaboutbei ngpr egnant .Iforever
hadhear tburn, IthrewupwhenIbr ushedmy
teeth.Ihadt obat hwithsunl ightdi shwasher
that'stheonl yt hingmybabywoul dallow.I
couldn' tuseanyper f
umeorev enr ollon.Iwas
sof atbutIl ookedbeaut i
ful.Myski nwas
glowi ngandmyhai rgotsol ong.Wedi dn't
knowsexoft hebaby ,wedeci dedwewant edit
tobeasur pri
se.Iwassi tt
ingi nmyl ounge
eatingsar dinewi thri
ce(t hat'sal lIcoul deat)
whenIhear daknockont hedoor .Whocoul dit
bet hist i
me, pr obablygranny ,shewasso
over protecti
veofme.Iwal kedt ot hedoorand
openi t
.Apr egnantwhi t
egi rlwasst ari
ngatme.
Shel ookedl ikeshewasaboutt opop.
Me:
howmayIhel
pyou.
Her
:Ineedt
ospeakt
oyourhusband?
Me:
he'
snoti
n,y
oucanl
eav
eamessage.
Shewantedtosaysomethi
ngwhenwat
erj
ust
spl
ashedfr
om hercooki
e.Ohno.
[
03/04,
16:19]Ron:
shar
eandcomment
.Your
v
iewshelpmeal ot
.

Vi
ewEdi
tHi
stor
y

Att
hef
li
psi
deofkar
ma

i
nser
t24

#Emi
l
y

Idi
dn'
tknowwhattodo,Ipani
ckedt
hewoman
wasalr
eadyscr
eamingandsetdownont
he
wetfl
oor.
 
Her
:pl
easehel
pmeI
'
mreal
l
ysor
ry.
Me:
howmustIhel
pyou.
Her
:pleasegetmesomecoldwaterIam very
t
hir
styandalsocal
ltheambul
anceplease.
Irantothekit
chen(wellatl
eastIt
ri
edtorun)I
gothersomecol dwaterandIaddedsomei ce
onitandIgaveittoher.Iwentandcal
ledthe
ambulance.Icamebackandsetdownwi t
hher
andheldherhands.
Me:
don'
twor
ryt
heambul
ancei
tsoni
tsway
.
Her
:I'
m scar
edIdon'
twantt
olosemybaby
.
Me:don'
tbescar
eddear
,yourbabywi
ll
bejust
f
ineandIwil
lbewit
hyoueveryst
epoftheway
.
Ithi
nkshegotanothercont
racti
onbecauseshe
screamedandheldmyhandt ight
.OmwIhopeI
won'tbei
nthi
smuchpai nwhenIgiv
ebirth.
 
She:
takei
toutofmepl
ease(
shout
ing)
Theambul
ancedeci
dedt
omakeanappear
ance.
Iopenedthegat
eusi
ngtheremot
eandt
hey
drovei
n.Theycamest
rai
ghttome. 
Guy:ar
ey ouOKmam?Howar
ethe
cont
ract
ions.
Me:
arey
ouaf
ool
?DoIl
ookl
i
keI
'
minpai
n?
Guy
:sor
rymam,
yousai
dyouri
nlabour
.
Me:notmethel
adyt
her
eont
hef
loor
.Her
wat
erbroke.
Herantotheladyandhehelpedherup,
they
f
inal
lygotherint
heambulance.
Me:pl
easewai
tforme,
letmegetmypur
seand
myphone.
Guy:nomam,youcan'
tgeti
ntheambulance
wit
hus.Youar
epregnanti
tsnotsaf
e.
Me:she'
spr
egnantt
ooori
sitbecauseI
'
m
bl
ack?
Icoul
dseebythelooki
nhi
sey
esthathe
wantedt
hegroundtoswal
l
owhim.
 
Guy
:OKmam gogety
ourst
uff
.
Iwentupstair
stogetmypurseandIcomeoutI
canhearthem dri
veoff
.Bust
ards.Iclosedmy
door,Iwenttomycarandfol
lowedt hem.Not
toolongwewer eint
hehospit
alandshewas
beingwheeledint
oaroom.Ifol
lowedbehi nd
her.
Nur
se:mam y
oucannotgoi
n,onl
ythef
atherof
t
hebaby.
Me:
I'
mtheonl
yfat
hert
hatbabyhas.
Nur
se:
pleasemam.
Me:shei
smywi f
e,haven'
tyoueverseent
wo
l
esbi
anspregnantatthesametime?
Thenur sej
ustlookedatmeandl etmego.I
rushedt ot
helabourwar d.Ihel
dont othegir
l'
s
hand.Shewasi nsomuchpai n.Thedoctorsaid
shewasal readytoofarinherlabourtogetan
epidur
al.If
eltsosorryforher.Aft
eralotof
swearing(mostlyfr
om me)andal otof
screaming.Ourbabywasbor n,Imeanherbaby.
Hel ookedlikeadri
edprune.Ei
shwhitepeoples
babies.Shehel dhi
mi nherar
msandki ssed
him.Icried.Itwassuchabeautif
ulsi
ght.

#j
ohn

PregnantEmi l
ywasahandf ull
,somet imesI
fel
tlikest ragglingherbutmyl oveforherand
ourbabykeptusst rong.Shewoul dwakemeup
oddhour soft heni ghtjustt ogetherf ood.At
l
eastwhatIwasgoi ngt hroughisnot hing
compar edt oher .Shet hrewupal l t
het i
me, she
hardlysl ept.Ifeltsorryformywi f
e.Oneoft he
perksofherbei ngpr egnantwast hatshewas
foreverhor ny.Herwhol ebodywasal way s
war m, shei smyownheat er.Iwasatwor k
prepar i
ngf oracase.I 'm adivorceattorneyand
Iam t hebest .Iusual lyassistwomanbecause
somemanar er eall
ywi cked.Imakesur ethey
geteveryt
hingt heydeser v
e.Iwasdeepi nmy
workwhenIgotamessagef r
om mywi fewhich
sai
dI'm onmywayt othehospi t
al.Iti
st oo
soon,she'sonly6mont hspregnant.Irushed
outoftheof f
ice,Iwentt othecarandcal l
edher
butnoanswer .Shedi dn'teventel
l mewhi ch
hospi
tal.SoIst art
edwi ththeonecl osesttoour
house.Iraninlikeamadman.
Me:I'
mlooki
ngf
ormywife,sheispr
egnantand
Ibel
i
eveshewasbr
oughthere.
Nur
se:
whati
shername?
Me:
Emi
l
yAbr
aham.
Nur
se:
I'
ll
checkf
ory
ou.
Iwassoi mpati
entIwaitedforthenursebut
shewast aki
nglongsoIdeci dedtogotot he
mat erni
tyward.Ipippedtoroom afterr
oom but
Icoul dnotseeher.Iwentintothelastr
oom
therewasmywi feseatedonachai rhol
dinga
baby .Iwasconfusedbecauseshewasst il
l
pregnant.Iwalkintheroom andboom Leahi s
l
ayi
ngonthehospi
tal
bedsl
eepi
ng.Myhear
t
j
ustst
opped.
[
03/
04,
16:
19]Ron:
Att
hef
li
psi
deofkar
ma

I
nser
t25

#Emi
l
y

Isatdownadmi ri
ngt hisl ady'
sbaby.Hewas
start
ingt olookmor ehumannow.Ikept
wonder inghowmybabywi l
ll
ookli
ke.Wil
lhe
l
ookl ikemeort hef ather?I t
sfunnyhowIam
heresi t
tingwiththisbabyandIknownot hi
ng
aboutt hemot her.Ididn' tevenknowhername.I
heardt hedoct orsaymi ssJacobsandt hat
's
abouti t
.Iwant edt otakemyphoneandcal l
j
ohnt ot ellheraboutmyexper i
ence.Ir
eali
sed
thatImi ghthav eleftmyphonei nthecar.I
wentt oputt hebabyi nt hecotandIwal kedout
oftheroom.Iwasal sohungr ysoIhadtogo
homeandeat .Icouldn'tevenbuysomethingt
o
eatbecausethisbabyonl ywantssardi
neand
ri
ce.Thiswaspuretor t
ure.Iwentintomycar
andIcalledmyhubbyacoupl eoftimesbuthe
di
dn'tanswer.Heisprobabl yi
nameet i
ngor
something.Heisav erybusyman.

#Leah

Iwokeupt omysoncr yi
ng, hei sjustso
adorabl
e.Ican'tbeli
evet hatGodhasbl essed
mewi thsuchabeaut i
fulgif
t .Hel ookssomuch
l
ikehisfather.It
ookoutmybr eastandf edmy
l
ittl
eangel.Iwill
namehi m Et han.Forasecond
thereIfor
gotofal l
mypr oblems.Icomef rom a
veryri
chfami l
yandev erythingwasal ready
plannedoutformef r
om t hedayIwasbor n
from whatIwoul dstudyinuni ver
sitytowhom I
wast omar r
y.Inmyf ir
sty eari nuniversi
tyImet
upwi t
hj ohnandwest art
edgoingoutandi t
wassupercasual butIcaughtfeel
ingsforhim.
Whenmypar entsfoundoutIwaspr egnantmy
dadtoldmet oabor tandIref
usedsohe
disownedme.Heal somadesur et
hatIcould
neverwor kagai
n.Myphonedi stur
bedmy
thoughts.
Me:
hi
Call
er:I
'v
ebeenwai
ti
ngf
ory
oual
lday
,wher
e
thefuckarey
ou.
Me:
I'
mint
hehospi
tal
,Ij
usthadmybaby
.
Cal
l
er:
didy
oudoast
old.
Me:Idi
dn'thav
eachancetobecausemywat
er
br
okejustwhenIgott
her
e.
Call
er:
youstupi
dbi
tch,
coul
dn'
tthatbr
atof
yourswai
t.
Me:
pleasedon'
tbesomeant
ome.
Cal
l
er:Idon'
tgi
veaf
uckabouty
ou,
Ipai
dyout
o
doajobandyoumustdoi
t.
Me:
I'
m sor
ry.
Call
er:
Idon'thavet
oremindyouthatifyou
don'
tdowhatIaskedy ouandthatbastar
dof
yourswil
lhavetogobacktothestreet
s.
Me:
justgi
vemesomet
orecov
erf
ir
stpl
ease.
Cal
l
er:
youhav
e24hour
s.
ThelinewentdeadandIj ustcried.Icannotend
upint hestreet
swithmychild.Itwashar d
enought hosefir
sttwoweeks.Ial socannot
hurtawomant hatsavedmyl i
fe.Sheisnotat
al
last heysaidshewas.Shei sawonder f
ul
person.ButIdon'thaveachoice.Ihav etoput
mychi ldfi
rst.

#John

Emi l
ywassoconcentr
atedonthechildthatshe
didn'
tseeme.Isl
owlywalkedoutsinceIwasn't
full
yinther
oom.Iranoutofthehospital
.How
doesmywi feknowLeahandIdi dn'
tknowt hat
Leahwaspr egnant.Iwasev enscaredoft he
possi
bil
it
yt hatthechi l
dismi ne.Ifi
thappens
thatt
hechi l
di sminehowdoIev enbegint ot
ell
mywi f
et hatImi ghthaveachi ldwithanother
woman.WhenIcameoutoft hehospi t
alIsaw
mywi f
e'scarpar kedout side.Shekeptcal l
ing
meIdidn'thav ethener vet oanswer .Ineeded
togetanswer s.Notsol ongIsawherl eaveand
Iwait
edt i
llIcouldn'tseehercarany mor eandI
wentbackt ot hehospital.Iwenti nt
ot heward
andIfoundLeahcr ying.
Me:
hit
her
e 
Shel
ookedatmel
i
keIwasaghost
.
Leah:
whatar
eyoudoi
ngher
e?
Me:
howdoy
ouknowmywi
feLeah.
Leah:
ohsonowweanswerquest
ionswi
th
quest
ions?
Me:
answermeLeah,
ify
ououtt
ohur
tmywi
fe
t
hatIwi
l
lki
l
lyou.
Leah:
youwon'
twanty
oursont
obemot
her
less.
Me:whatt
hehell
areyoutaki
ngaboutLeah,
we
al
waysusedpr
otect
ion.
Leah:
remembert
heni
ghty
ouwer
edr
unk?
Me:Iboughty
oumor
ningaf
terpi
l
lsandIsaw
dr
inkthem.
Leah:howcanyoubesost
upi
d,t
hoset
hings
arenothundr
edper
cent
.
Me:sowhydi
dn'
tyout
ell
mey
ouwer
epr
egnant
?
Whynow?
Leah:becauseIt
houghtIcoul
ddoi
tonmyown
butIcan'
t.Myparent
sdisownedmeandIr
an
outofcash.
Me:
soy
ouwantmoney
?
Leah:notonl
ythat
,Ial
sowantmysont
oknow
hi
sf at
her.
Me:
thatdoesn'
texpl
ainwhymywi
fewasher
e.
Leah:
Iwentt
oyourhouset
olookf
ory
ou.
Me: youdi
dwhat
?Arefuckenr
etardedLeah?
YouknowIam marr
ied.Whydi
dn'tyougotomy
off
ice.
Shekeptqui
et.
Me:
doesmywi
feknow?
Leah:
no
Me: goodkeepitthatway
.Iwi
l
lsuppor
tyou
fi
nanciall
ybutyoumustmakesuremywife
neverfindsout
.
Leah:
younotgonnamakemysonasecret
whenyoupl
ayhappyfami
li
eswi
thyourwif
e.
Me:
don'
tgetmeangr
yLeah.

#Emi
l
y

IgothomeandIat
e.Isti
ll
coul
dn'tgetahol
dof
j
ohn.Iwentt
othemallandboughtsomestuff
forthebabyandIboughtsomef oodf ort
he
mot her.Iknowf i
rsthandhowhor ri
blehospital
foodis.Idr ovet
ot hehospit
al f
eeling
nauseat ed.Thesmel loft
hefoodwasmaki ng
mesi ck.Atsomepoi ntIwantedt othrowthe
foodoutoft hewindowbutIwi ll
edmy sel
fto
staystrong.IgotintothehospitalandIwal ked
i
nt hewar d.
Lady
:don'
tyouwantt
ohol
dyourson.
John:
Iwantt
ohaveaDNAtestdoneand
pl
easest
ayawayf
rom mywif
e.
Me:
whatt
hehel
li
sgoi
ngonher
e?
Theybot
hlookedatmeandboom.Li
ght
sout
.
[
03/
04,
16:
28]Ron:
Att
hef
li
psi
deofkar
ma

I
nser
t26

#j
ohn
Seei ngmywi fet hi
sposi t
ionwast hemost
dev ast ati
ngt hingev er.Theyt ookhert ot he
room andIwasn' tallowedt ogoi n.Ipacedup
anddownt hewai t
ingr oom.Ikneel eddowni n
themi ddl eoft hewai ti
ngr oom, peoplewer e
staringatbutIdi dn'tcare.Ibegant opr ay.Lor d
IknowI 'm nott hemostr eligiousper son, Ihav e
sinnedgr eatlyagai nsty ouandmywi fe.Please
forgiv emeLor d.Ihav ehear dthaty ouar ea
Lordofsecondchances.Iam notev enwor thy
toaskt hi
sofy oubutmywi felov esy ouso
much.Shehasnev ergoneadaywi thout
readi ngt hebi bleorpr ayingev ersincewegot
mar ried.Pl easedon' tl
etany thinghappent oher
ormychi ldIpr omiseIwi llbeabet terman.I
keptonpr ayingf orwhatseemedl i
kef orever .
Tear swer est reamingdownmycheeks.I
shoul dhav etol dheraboutLeaht hatsameday ,
may beshewoul dhav efor givenme.Nowshe
willnev erf orgiveme.WhatdoIdonow.Ist ood
upandkeptwal
ki
ngbackandf
ort
h.Thedoct
or
fi
nal
l
ycameout.
Me:
doct
orhowi
smywi
feandchi
l
d?
Doc:
whathappenedt
oyourwi
fe.
Me:
shej
ustcol
l
apsed.
Doc:
hasshebeenunderal
otofst
ressl
atel
y?
Me: nonotreal
l
y,shehasjustbeenir
ri
tat
ed
becauseshecan'tsl
eepatnightbutIt
hought
i
tsnormal i
npregnancy
.
Doc:yesiti
squitenormal
.Yourwif
ehasa
heartpr
oblem andthi
ngsl
ikestr
essandshock
shouldbeavoided.
Me:
wil
lshesur
viv
e.
Doc:
yesshewi
l
landt
hebabyi
sokayt
oo.
Me:
thankGod.
 
Ikneel
eddownandthanst
oodup.Thedoct
or
j
ustsmiledatme.
Doc:
Iwi
l
ldi
schar
gehert
omor
rowandI
recommendbedr estfort
henextf ourmonth.
Sheisnott odoany t
hingstr
enuousatall.Mr
Abraham ifyoul
ov eyourwifepl
easemakesur e
thatshedoesnotunder goanystressatallor
shemi ghtloset
hebaby .
Me:
Ilov
emywifedoctorandIwil
ldoany
thi
ng
t
omakesur
ethatdoesn'
thappen.
Doc:i
tsgood,youneedtofi
lli
nsomemedi
cal
ai
dinf
ormationthati
sneeded.
Me:
notapr
obl
em,
canIseeher
?
Doc:notnow,shest
il
lneedst
orest
.Youcan
seeherinthemorni
ng.
Iwentt ot
her ecept
iontogivet hem t
he
outstandi
nginformati
on.ThenIwenthome.I
tookashowerandwor emypy jamas.Idi
dn'
t
feell
ikeeati
ngsoIwentt other oom.It
ookout
myphoneandIcal l
edgr anny.Iwasn'tr
eal
ly
closetomyownpar ents.Mygr annyrai
sedme,
mypar entswerealwayst r
aveli
ngt oone
countryortheother.
Gr
an:
eveni
ngmyboy
.
Me:
eveni
nggr
annyhowar
eyou?
Gr
an:
I'
m goodandy
ou?
Me:
I'
mfi
negr
an.
Gran:howisEmilyIhopeyouhavebeendoing
whatItol
dy ou?Idon'
twanthert
ostruggl
e
duri
ngdeli
very.
Irememberedtheconver
sat
ionIhadwith
granny
,shewaswar ni
ngmet ohavesexwit
h
mywi f
eeverydaytosmooththewayforthe
baby.
Me:gr
anyoudon'thavetoremindmet
ohav
e
sexwi
thmywife.I'
m notgay.
Gran:
Idi
dn'
tsayy
ouwer
e,someti
mesit
shard
formant
obesexual
l
yat
tr
actedt
oapregnant
woman.
Me:gr
annycanwenottalkaboutsexpl
ease
andmywifei
sbeaut
if
ul.Fatandall
.
Gran:
Ihopeshedoesn'
theary
ousayt hat,by
thewaywherei
ssheIwanttogreether.She
hasn'
tcal
l
edmealldayandthat'
ssounl i
keher.
Ikeptqui
et.
Gr
an:
johnny
?
Me:
shei
sinhospi
tal
.
Gr
an:
whathappened?
Itol
dherev
erythi
ng,shekeptqui
etforsome
ti
me.Icoul
dhearherbreathi
ngsofast
.She
wastry
ingt
ocalm hersel
fdown.
Gran:howcany oubesostupidj
ohn?Thatnot
thewayIr ai
sedyou.Youbet
terpr
aythatgi
rl
doesn'tl
oseherbaby.
Me:
I'
m sor
rygr
anny
,cany
oupl
easet
ell
her
mot
her.
Gr
an:
mxm
Shehangedup.It
ri
edtosl
eepbutIcoul
dn'
t.I
coul
donlythi
nkaboutmywif
e.Ir
eall
ymessed
up.

#Leah

Ifel
tsobadaboutwhathappenedt oEmi ly.
Especiall
ywi t
hev erythingshedi dforme.She
couldhav ejustcal ledtheambul anceandl et
mecomet othehospi talandnotev enhav ea
secondt houghtaboutme.Hel lthat'
swhatI
wouldhav edone.Butshecamewi thme, a
womansheknewnot hi
ngabout .I
tshowsshe
hasahear tofgol d.Whywer epeopl et r
yingt o
destroyher?that '
swhatIdi dn'tunder st
and.
Theysayshei srut hlessbutIseei sagenui ne
person.Ethani snotJohn' sson.Hei stheson
ofjohn'sbestfriend.Wewer eal sofuckingon
theside.WhenIt ol dhimI '
m pregnant ,he
denieditsay i
ngt hatIwassl eepingwi thal otof
men.Et hanlooksj ustlikehisfatherIwonder
howj ohndidn'tnot ice.Ididn'tl
ikelyingtoj ohn
andhurt
ingEmi
ly
.Ihavenochoi
ce.It
sei
ther
meandmysonort hem.Ihel
dmyboyandmy
hear
tski
ppedabeat.Iwi
ll
doanyt
hingto
prot
ectyoumyboy.

#John

Iwokeupear lytocookf ormywi f

ebecauseI
knewshewoul dn'tbeabl etoeatt hehospital
food.Iknewshewoul dbev eryhungr ywhen
shewakesup.Iuset hewor dswakeupv er
y
l
ooselybecauseIdi dn'
tsleepawi nk.I t
smor e
l
ikeIstoodupf rom bed.Igotr eadyandt hen
packedasmal l bagwi thmywi fe'sclothesand
toi
let
ri
esmor el i
ket hedishwashi ngsoapt hat
shewasheswi t
h.Idr ovetot hehospi t
alandI
walkedintother oom.Ial readyf oundhermom
andsisternexttoherbed.Howdi dt heyget
heresoear l
y.
Me:
goodmor
ning.
Nooneanswer
ed.OKI
'
m dead.
E'
mom: howdarey
oudot
hist
omydaught
er?
I
'mtaki
ngherhomewi
thme.
Emi
l
y:mom pl
ease,
giv
eussomepr
ivacy
.
E'
mom: ar
ey ousur
ebaby?Whatifheupset
s
you.Ican'
tloseyouormygrandchi
ld.
Emi
l
y:I
'
llbeOKmom.
E'
mom:OKbutI'
ll
bejustout
sidet
hedoori
fyou
needme,
beaut
ylet'
sgo.
Shegav emet hatI
'm watchi
ngyousignbef
ore
theylef
t.Therewasanawkwar dsil
enceandi
decidedtobreaktheice.
Me:Ibroughty
oursar
dinesandri
ce,Iknowt
hat
youarenotabl
etoeatanythi
ngel
se.Youmust
behungry.
Emi
l
y:i
sther
eapossi
bil
i
tyt
hatbabyi
syour
s?
Me:
yes.
Emi
l
y:I
'
vedonet
hemat
hs.Soy
ougother
pr
egnantwhenwer
etoget
her
?
Me:
itwast
heni
ghtwef
oughtandIsl
eptout
.
Emi
l
y:sot
hisi
sal
lmyf
aul
t?
Me:nobaby
,it
swasonlyoneti
me.Iwasdr
unk
andImadeami st
akeI
'
m sor
ry.
Emi
l
y:whowasshet
oyou.
Me:hernameisLeah,
shewassomeoneIwas
seei
ngbefor
e.I
twassupercasual
.
Emi
l
y:whydi
dn'
tyout
ell
meal
lthi
swhi
l
e?
Me:Idi
dn'
twanttolosey
ouandIdi
dn'
tknow
shewaspregnant
.
Emil
y:youexpectmet
obel
i
evey
ou?DoIl
ook
st
upid.
Me:noyounotbaby
.I'
mtel
l
ingy
out
het
rut
h
pl
easef
orgi
veme.
Emil
y:i
fIwoul
dn'
thav
ehear
dyou,
woul
dyou
hav
etoldme?
Ikeptqui
et,
webot
hknewt
heanswert
othat
.I
guessshewasj
ustt
ryi
ngt
opr
oveapoi
nt.
Emi
l
y:I
'
m gonagohomewi
thmymom.
Shesai
dmoreli
keawhi sper
,Ilookedather
andshewascr
ying.I
tcompletelybrokemy
hear
t.
Me:pleasebabydon'
tl
eav
eme,let'
swor
k
t
hingsout.Il
oveyou.I
'
ddoany
thing.
Emi
l
y:pl
easegoj
ohn.
Icoul
dseeshemeanti t
.Ileft
.Itwasagainst
mywish.Ididn'
tfi
ghtwithherbecauseIdidn'
t
wanttoupsetherevenfurt
her.Icoul
dn'
tputher
andmychild'sl
i
feindanger.

Ial
way skeepmypr omises.Pleaseguy sshar e,
l
ikeandmosti mportantl
ycomment .The
amountofcomment sIgetisdiscouraging.I
needtoknowy ourviews.Therearesomeof
youthatalway
sinteractandIwannat hanky ou
guys.Youguysarether easonIpostev eryday.
[
03/
04,
16:
28]Ron:
Att
hef
li
psi
deofkar
ma

I
nser
t27

#Emi
l
y

Ifeltsodef eatedandhur t.May beIdon' t

deser vet obehappy .WhatwasIt hinki
ng?My
l
ifewi l
lnevergoright.Amanl osthi sli
fe
becauseofme.Kar mai sknocki ngatmydoor .
Event houghIknowIdeser veitstil
lhurtto
much.Iam j usthappyt hatmybabyi sOK, I
woul dn'thavebeenabl et ol
ivewi thmy selfi
fI
hadl osthi m.HowdoIbegi ntof orgetjohn.I
l
ov edhi m somuch.Ihav ereall
ynev erloved
any onet hewayIlov edhim.Ican' tbeli
evehe
didt histome.Hecoul dhavet oldme, Imi ght
hav ef orgi
venhim may be.Icannotl i
velikethi
s.
Ican' timaginebeingasi ngl
emom.Iwas
f
eel
i
ngsodownwhent
hedoccamei
n.
Doc:
howar
eyoudoi
ngMr
sAbr
aham?
Me:I
'
m doinggooddoc,
itsj
ustt
hatIf
eel
ali
tt
le
t
ir
edandfati
gued.
Doc:
itqui
tenor
mal
,al
lyouhav
etodoi
srest
.
Me:
Iwi
l
ldoc.
Doc:Ican'tstr
essenoughtoyou,atthe
sli
ghtestshockorstr
essyoucanl oseyour
baby.Youcannotdoany t
hingthatwil
lstr
ess
thebabyatall.
Me:IknowdocandIwi l
ldef
iant
lymakesur
e
t
hatitdoesnothappen.
Hefil
ledi nthedischar
geformsandsai dhis
goodby es.Idon'tknowhowI '
m gonnadeal wit
h
thi
ssituation.DoesitmeanjohnandIar eov er
.
Myhear tjustsunkwhenIt houghtofit
.I'
mj ust
notgonnat hi
nkaboutit
,Iwillt
akeitonestepat
ati
me.Ican' tst
ressmybaby .Mymom wal ked
i
nwi t
hbeaut y.
Mom:
howar
eyouf
eel
i
ng?
 
Me:
Ifeel
OKmom,
I'
mjustt
ir
ed.
Mom:Ibr
oughty
ousomef
ood,
eatbef
orewe
go.
Me:pl
easet
akethi
sfoodawayfr
om meandgo
war
m upthefoodmyhusbandbr
ought
.
Beaut
y:y
oucan'
teatt
hatf
ood,
youdon'
tknow
whatheputi
nit
.
Me:ar
eyoui
mpl
yi
ngt
hatmyhusbandwi
l
l
poi
sonme?
Beaut
y:wel
lhedi
dcheatony
ou.
Me:
beaut
ygetoutofmyf
ace.
Mom: beautyshutup,
thedoct
orsai
dshemust
notst
ress.Getoutofher
e.
Iwantedsomucht ogetangrybutIhadtothink
ofmybaby .Ican'
tbesel
fi
sh.Mymom wentt o
heatupthefoodthatj
ohnbroughtme.Hei s
suchacari
nghusband.Iwassoconf used.Iate
andItookabathandwor
ethecl
otheshe
broughtf
orme.Aswecameoutwef oundj
ohn
i
nt hewait
ingr
oom.

#j
ohn

Ican'tbeli
ev eI'm goi
ngt ol
osemywi fejustli
ke
that.IlovehersomuchandIcannotl ive
withouther .Shemeanssomucht ome.IknowI
madeami stakebutIcannotl etmywi fego.I
wassoangr yatLeah, Iwasev enplotti
ngof
way stokillher.Whatam It hinki
ngI '
m nota
kil
ler.HowdoIconv i
ncehert ogivemea
secondchance.Ther eisnoonei nthiswor ld
thatcant akemywi fe'spl
ace.Ijustthoughtof
howcut eshel ookedwhenshei sirr
itated.I
'm
sooutofi tt hatIwashal l
ucinati
ngt hatshewas
i
nf rontofme.Godshe' ssobeaut i
ful.
Beauty
: whatthehel
lareyoustil
ldoi
ngher
e,
di
dn'tyouhurtmysisterenough?
Beaut
yspokeandIwasbr
oughtbackt
oreal
i
ty.
Emi l
y:beaut
yhei
sst
il
lmyhusbandandy
ouwi
l
l
respecthim.
Beaut
yrol
l
edherey
es.
Beaut
y:somehusband.
E'
smom:
beaut
yshutup,
mindy
our
sel
f.
Ilookedatmyangelshedef
endedme,
may
be
thereisachanceaf
teral
l
.
Emil
y:Ineedt
ogot
othehouseandgetsome
ofst
uff.
Me:
OKcomel
et'
sgo.
Itookherbagf rom her,Ihadalreadydroveher
carhomesoIgoti nmycarwi thherandher
mot herandsisterfoll
owedinahermot her'
scar
.
Wedr oveinsilence.Iwaspl ayi
ngsoftgospeli
n
thecar,Iwast ryi
ngtosof t
enherandbesi desI
neededal l
thehel pinthewor l
dtoconvinceher
tostay.WegothomeandIopenedt hehouse
andgoti n.
E'
smom:
hmm ni
cehousey
ouhav
eher
e.
Me:
thanky
oumom woul
dyoul
i
kesomet
hing
t
odri
nk.
E'
smom:
jui
cewi
l
ldo.
Iwenti
ntot
heki
tchenandpourorangej
uicef
or
bot
hmymom in-
lawandsisteri
nlaw.
E'
smom:
thanky
oumydear
.
Beaut
y:Idon'
tdr
inkj
uice.
Me:ohIdi
dn'tknowbutwedohav
ecol
ddr
ink
butnoal
coholthough.
Beaut
y:I
'
m nott
hir
styany
way
.
Shegavemeacoldlook.Whati
sherdeal
anyway.It
henwentupst
air
stohel
pmywi f
e
pack.
 
Me:
babycanwepl
easet
alk?
Shest
oppedpacki
ngandsetdownandl
ooked
atme.
Me:
I'
mver
ysor
ryIdi
dn'
tmeant
ohur
tyou,
I
wasdr
unkandmadeami stake.Ir
egr
ett
edi t
t
hemomentithappened.Ican'tj
ustt
akeitback.
Emi l
y:I'
m notangrythatyousleptwi
thher,Iam
disappointedthoughthatyoudid.Whatgotto
mei sthaty oushouldhavetol
dme.Itwasata
pointwher ewewer egetti
ngtoknoweachot her.
Itreal
lybrokemyhear tandimt hi
nki
ngwhat
elsearey oukeepingfrom me?
Me:I
'm sorr
ybaby
,Iwasjustscaredt
haty
ou
woul
dn'
tf or
giv
eme.Icoul
dn'tstandt
he
t
houghtoflosi
ngyou.
Emil
y:thetr
uthi
salwaysbetternomatt
erhow
har
ditis,y
oumayhav ethoughtyouweret
ryi
ng
topr
otectmebutyouonlymadei twor
se.
Me:Iwil
lneverl
iet
oy ouorwithhol
dthet
rut
h
f
rom youeveragai
n.Pleasef
orgi
veme.
Emi
l
y:Ihav
efor
giv
eny
ouj
ohn.
Me:t
hankyoumylove,
Iwil
lmakeitupt
oyou
ev
eryminut
eofev
eryhourofev
eryday.
It
ri
edt
oki
ssherbutshest
oppedme.
Emi
l
y:I
'
m st
il
lgoi
ngwi
thmymot
herj
ohn.
Me:
why
?
Emil
y:Ineedsomet
imeapar
tfr
om y
ou,
Ineed
tomakesenseofi
tal
l.
Me:pl
easejustst
ay,
Iwon'
tpressur
eyou,
Iwi
l
l
gi
veyouyourspaceIpr
omise.
 
Emil
y:Ineedt
hisjohn,
youmightnotknowthi
s
butyouneedi
ttoo.Youneedtosortt
hisi
ssue
wit
hLeahaswel l
.
Iknewther
ewasnopoi
nti
nar
gui
ngwi
thher
,
shehasmadeuphermi
nd.
Me:OKlov
ebutIwi
llbel
ostwi
thouty
ou.
Pr
omisemeyouwil
lcomeback.
Emil
y:Iwi
l
lbaby
,Ipr
omi
se.Knowt
hatIl
ove
you.
Me:
Ilov
eyoumor
e,y
ourt
hequeenofmyhear
t.
Igav
eaherat
ighthug,
Idi
dn'
twantt
ohergo.
Emi
l
y:babeIneedt
ofi
nishpacki
ng.
Me:
don'
twor
rymyqueenI
'
lldoi
tfory
ou.
 
Ipackedallherclothesandwentdownstai
rs
andIloadedthest uffi
nthecar
.Isai
dmy
goodbyestothem andast heywereaboutto
l
eave.Iwentaf t
erthecarandscreamedwait.
Hermot herl
ookedangr y.
Emi
l
y:l
etmegopl
easej
ohn.
Me:youfor
goty
our5Lbot
tl
eofsunl
i
ghtdi
sh
washer
.
Shej ustsmil
edandtookfrom me.Isawthem
driv
eaway .Ifel
tli
keapartofmehasgonewi th
her.Pleasecomebackmybaby .Iwentt
othe
storeIboughttwobottl
esofHennesseyandI
wenthomeanddr ownedinmysor rows.

Iseet
heint
eract
ioni
sget
ti
ngbet
terbuti
tsst
il
l
notwer
eitshoul
dbe
[
03/
04,
16:
28]Ron:
Att
hef
li
psi
deofkar
ma
I
nser
t28

#Emi
l
y

Beinghomeandbei ngablet ohav esomespace

wasgoodbutbeaut ywasr eall
yget ti
ngonmy
ner veswithhernegativecomment sofJohn.I
don' tknowwher eshegotof fsay i
nghor ribl
e
thingsaboutmyhusbandandshemyown
sisterhadbetrayedme.I thasbeenonemont h
ofbei ngathome.Al thoughIenj oyedbeing
pamper edbymymot her,Iwasal somi ssingmy
husband.Cal lmest upidi
fy ouwi l
lbutIlov emy
husband.Hemadeami stakeandev ersinceI
gotmar ri
edtohim hehadnev ergivenmea
reasont osuspecthim.Hehasal way sbeen
l
ov ingandcar i
ng.Het ookv erygoodcar eofme
evenwhenIwassoannoy i
ng.Hel lIcoul
dbea
l
otsomet imesbutheal way sunder stoodand
showedmel ove.Nomar r
iageisperfect
.There
aremanywomanoutt her
elookingforaman
l
ikehim,I'
m notgonnapushhimi nt
ot hehands
ofanotherwoman.Iwassi t
ti
nginthedining
room havi
ngbreakfastwi
thmymom andsi ster
.
Iclear
edmyt hr
oat.
Me:Ihavedeci
dedI
'
m goi
ngbackt
omy
husband.
Mom: areyousur
e?Thedoctorsai
dthaty
ou
muststayawayfr
om st
ress.
Me:Iknowmom andIwi l
l.ButIbel
i
evewe
havestayedapartf
orlongenough.Despi
te
ever
ythingIknowhelovesmeandhewi l
lnev
er
i
ntent
ionall
yhurtme.
Mom:OKy ouamarri
edwomanandIwon' tst
op
fr
om maki
ngyourdeci
sions.Ij
usthopey
ou
knowwhatyoudoi
ng.
Me:mom ther
e'snot
hingt
owor
ryaboutI
'
llbe
j
ustf
ine.
Mom:
whenwi
l
lyougo?
Me:
tomor
row
Mom:
sosoon?Can'
tyoust
ayabi
tlonger
?
Me:
I'
vest
ayedl
ongenough.Imi
ssmyhusband.
Beaut
y:mxm
Me:
andnow?
Beaut
y:howcany
oubesonai
veandst
upi
d?
Me:
excuseme?
Beauty:Imeanhecheatedonyouandgot
anotherwomanpregnantarey
ouOKwi t
hthat
?
Me: ofcour
senotbuthei
smyhusband,
hehas
explai
nedtomeandIhavenor
easontonot
beli
evehim.
Beauty:howdoy oujustf
orgi
vehi
mli
ket
hatf
or
breaki
ngy ourhear
t?
Me:Ilovehi
m andhemadeami st
ake.Imarr
ied
hi
mf orbett
erf
orworse.Thi
sist
hefi
rstti
mehe
hashurtme.Ever
yonedeser
vesasecond
chance,
Igav
eyouasecondchance.
Shecov
eredherfacewi
thherhandsandIcoul
d
seewascry
ing.
Me:I'
m sorr
ybeauty,
youdon'thavetocr
y
beaut
y,I
'vecomplet
elyf
orgi
veny ou.
Beauty:
I'
mr eal
lysorr
yforwhatIdidt
oyou
Emil
y,Iregr
eteverysi
nglet
hing.Iwasbi
tt
er
andjeal
ous.Beli
evemewhenIsayIhav epai
d
formysins.Ij
ustdon'ty
ouseey ouhur
tever
agai
n.
Me:
ohbeaut
yIwon'
tbe.
Wehuggedandi tf
eltsogood.IknowIhad
forgiv
enbeautybutwhenwehuggedIf elta
weightbeingli
ftedoffmyshoul der.Il
ov emy
sister
,sheismybl ood.Ifor
gavehernotf orher
,
notev enbecauseshedeser veditbutformet o
beabl etomov eon. 
Beauty
:Ilov
eyousi
sandIwi
l
ldoal
lIcant
o
prot
ectyou.
Me:Il
oveyout
oo,
itsni
cet
oknowsomeone
l
ooksoutf
orme.
Mom:
heyIl
ookoutf
ory
out
oo.
Wejustlaughed,mymom real
lyl
ikedat
tent
ion,
shedoesn'tl
ikebei
ngl
eftoutatall
.
Beaut
y:I
'
lldr
ivey
out
omor
row.
Me:
youdon'
thav
eto,
Icant
akeabus.
Beauty:Ii
nsi
st,
plusyoust
il
lnotal
l
owedt odo
anythi
ng.Soil
ltakecar
eofyouunti
lyougiv
e
bi
rth.
Me:
ok.
Ijustcoul
dn'
twai
ttoseemyhusband,
geezi
ts
reall
ybeenatool
ong.

#l
eah

Igotdi
schar
gedandIbeggedjohntoletme
stayi
nhishouseunt
ilIwasheal
ed.Ihadtol
d
thesnaket hatEmi lyknewaboutt hebaby .He
washoppi ngshewoul dloset hebabybutshe
didn'
t.Idi
dn' tknowshehadahear tproblem.I
wasi ntoodeepandIcoul dnott urnbackagai n.
Thet hi
ngisam scar edbecauseIdon' teven
knowwhoI 'm deal i
ngwi th.Iknewhi m byt he
nameoft hesnakeandheal wayswor eamask
whenwewer et oget her.Ididn'tevenknowhow
helookedlikebutheseemedt ohav eey es
everywhere.Iwassowor r
iedaboutj ohn, he
wasamess.Al l hedi dwasdr i
nkandhehar dl
y
ate.Iwasst ressi ngbecausehewasi nsisting
onaDNAt estf orEt hanandIwasst ressed.I
hadt ocal
l thesnake.It ookmyphoneand
call
edhim. 
Him:howmanyti
meshaveIt
oldy
oubi
tch,
you
don'
tcal
lme,
Ical
lyou?
Me:
I'
m sor
ryMrsnakebutwehav
eapr
obl
em.
Hi
m:whati
sthepr
obl
em?
Me:
johnwant
saDNAt
estandwebot
hknow
t
hati
fIdoi
titwi
l
lcomebacknegat
ive.
Hi
m:ar
eyoust
upi
d?
Me:
I'
m sor
rybutweneedt
odosomet
hing.
Hi
m:tel
lhi
mtopickahospi
tal
anddat
ethenl
et
meknowIwil
lsor
titout
.
Me:
OKMrsnakeIwi
l
ldot
hat
.
Him:hav
ey oufuckedhi
my et
?Weneedtosend
phot
ostothatbit
ch.Shehastol
oset
hatfucken
baby
. 
Me:
I'
mtr
yingmybest
.
Him:howhardi
sitt
oseduceadr
unkman?You
usel
ess,
Idon'
tknowhowyoucal
lyour
sel
fa
woman.
Me:
Iwi
l
ldoi
tsoonIpr
omi
se.
Hi
m:y
oubet
ter
.
Hedroppedthecal
l,ever
ytimeIspeakt othe
snakei
tjustget
smef eeli
ngdepressed.ButI'
m
j
usthappythathecandosomet hingaboutthe
DNA.Thet ruthisIlovej
ohnandIwouldnot
mi ndhavi
nghi m.Ifhebel
iev
esthatEt
hanishi
s
wemi ghtjusthaveachance.Therewasa
knockedont hedoorandaol dwomanwas
standi
ngatt hedoor .
Me:
howmayIhel
pyou?
Her
:excusemegetoutoft
hewayIwantt
osee
mygrandson.
Ohshi
t,j
ohn'
sgrandmot her
,Ihadtogeti
n
goodwit
hher.Thereisnoeasi
erwaytogeta
manthentogetthefamil
ytoli
keyou.
Me: I
'
m sor
ry,gr
andmaIdidn'
tknowy ou.Come
ri
ghtthi
swaycanIgetyousomethingtodrink
befor
eIcal
ljohn.
Me:bit
chpl
ease,t
hisi
smygr andson'shousei
f
Iwantsomet
hingIwil
lgeti
tmy sel
f.
Ohmywor dt
hisgoingtobetoughbutI
'
llget
her,shepr
oceededtogoupstair
sandshe
stoppedandlookedbackatme.
Her:
soy out
hehomewr ecker?Idon'
tseewhat
mygr andsonsawinyoubecausey ouareugl
y
ashell.Don'
tgett
ocomf or
table,
theowneris
comingback.
OhmyGodIhat
ethatwoman.

#j
ohn

Li
v ingwithoutmywi fewasal ivi
nghell.
AlthoughIt alkedtoherev erydaybutImi ssed
hersomuch.Al lIdi
dwasgot owor k,come
backanddr inkmy selft
osl eep.If el
tsolostand
Leahbei ngar oundwasnothel pi
ng.Igav ehera
pl
acet ostaybecauseIdi dn'twanthergoi ng
fr
om pl acetopl aceuntilIfoundouti fEthani s
mysonornot .Shet r
iedforcingt hechil
donme
butIcan' tj
ustf eelt
hefatherlybond.Shewas
stalli
ngbutatl eastnowsheagr eedtothet est.
ThesoonerIknowt hebet t
er .Iam secretl
y
hopi ngthathei snotmi nebecauseshei s
gett
ingonmynerv
es.Shewantedtoactl
ikemy
wif
e.Iwasly
ingonmybedlookingatEt
han
sl
eepingonmychest
.Whenthedoorjust
opened.
Gr
an:whyareyousostupi
dJohn?Whyi
sthat
womaninyourhouse?
Me:it
snotwhaty
out
hinkGranny,she'
sjust
her
eunti
lwedoaDNAt estf
orthechil
d.
Gran:DNAtestmyfoot,t
hosethingsar
enot
rel
iabl
e.Youaregoi
ngtolosethatwonderf
ul
wifeyouhave.Ir
eal
lyhopesshedumpsy our
assbecauseyouareamumu.
Me:Grannypl
ease,
itsnotl
i
keI
'
m sl
eepi
ngwi
th
her
,Il
ovemywi f
e.
Gran:
doy ouevenknowwhatlov
eis,y
ounot
t
oogr ownyetandIcanst
il
lwhoopsomesense
i
ntoyou.
Me:
I'
m sor
rygr
annyIwi
l
lsor
tthi
soutsoon.
Gr
an:
youbet
terorIwi
l
ldoi
tfory
ou.Passme
t
hatbabyl
etmeseehi
m.
Igavehert
hebabyandheslowl
yopenedhi
s
eyesandshegavehi
m backtome.
 
Gran:Idon'
tneedabl oodtesttot
elly
out
his
babyisnotyours.Sendthiswomanandthi
s
chil
doutofthishouse.Ifbytomorr
owIcome
andfindthem here,
I'
lldoitmysel
f.
Shestoodupandl eft
.Ithi
nkmygr annyi sr
ight
aboutLeahleavi
ngmyhouse.I fEmilyhears
aboutthi
sitwil
lonlymaket hi
ngswor se.Iwil
l
tel
lhershemustleaveandIwi l
lrentan
apart
mentforheruntilwedoaDNAt est.

#l
eah

WhenIt houghtthatjohnwassofteni
ngupto
me,outoft hebl
ueheaskedmet omov eout
andthathewi l
lrentanapart
mentf orme.Igot
soangryhowdoIseducehi m now?Thesnake
i
sgoingtoki
llmei
fIdon'
tdoit.Iwasso
st
ressedwhenmyphonerang.Ianswer
ed.
Mrsnake:t
urnsoutyouwon'
thav
etosl
eep
wi
thjohnanymore?
Me:
why
?
Him:becausethatbit
chiscomi ngthere
tomorrowandallyouhav etodoismakeher
thi
nkt haty
ousleptwit
hhi m,shewillsur
ely
haveahear tf
ail
ureandlosethatbustardshe'
s
carr
ying.
Me:
OK.
Him:don'
tmesst hi
sup,
aft
ershegoestothe
hospi
talmeetmeatourusual
placeandI'
m
gonnagiveyousomemoney.
Me:
OK.

ThenextdayIspentmostofmymorning
wait
ingonthebalconyt
oseehercomeinsoI
canputonanact.Iknewthatj
ohnwil
lwakeup
l
at esoitwi l
lallwor
kout .Aftersomet imeIsaw
acardr i
vingt hr
ought hegate.Ideliber
atel
yput
i
nt hesecur i
tylocksoshecannotopent hedoor
from outside.Iwenttostri
pnakedandputon
myt owel asIheardt hekeysIr ushedtoopened
thedoorsay i
ng"Iknowy oucan' tgetenoughof
mebabybutI '
ll
berightup.Ijustneedt ocheck
whoi satt hedoor.IlookatEmi lylooki
ngall
pale.
Me:
whatdoy
ouwant
?
Shelookedatmeandshescreamedholdi
ng
herabdominal
.Moment
slaterIcoul
dseeblood
andhersist
errant
oher
.Hmm mi ssi
on
accompli
shed.
[
03/
04,
16:
28]Ron:
Att
hef
li
psi
deofkar
ma

I
nser
t30

#l
eah
Myheadf eltlikeitwasgoi ngtoexpl ode,that
girlr
eallydidanumberonme.Shewi l
lregret
thisIpromi se.Ilookedmysel fi
nt hemi rr
orand
Ilookedl i
kesomeonewhoi sdying.Myl efteye
wasswol l
enshut ,
myl i
pswer ebust ed.Halfmy
hairwasgone.Myheadwasswol lenbutt hat
womanhast hestrengthofaman.Idi dn'teven
throwi nanypunches.Il ookedov ertomyson
andhewassl eepi
ng.Ihadt ogett hrought hi
s
forhim.Hedeser vesafatherandj ohnmust
mar rymenomat t
erwhat .Iwassi tt
inginthe
hotel r
oom andwai t
ingforMrsnake.Ther ewas
aknockont hedoorandIwentt oopened.He
camei npastmewi t
houtev engreeting.Hewas
stil
lwear i
ngamask.Iwonderhowhecanwear
that.It
ssohot .
 
Hi
m:f
oroncey
oudi
dagr
eatj
ob.
Me:
thanky
ouMrsnake.
Het
hrewabagt
hathadmoneyi
nit
.
Him:taket
hismoneyandleavethi
scountr
y
wit
hyourson.Ineverwanttoseeyouagai
nif
youknowwhat'sgoodforyou.
Me:soi
tsoverj
ustl
i
ket
hat
?Whati
fyougonna
needmeagain.
Him:don'
tworryIwon'tneedyouagai
n.The
deedisdone.Emil
ylostthebabyandshewant
s
nothi
ngtodowi t
hjohn.It
sover.
Me:
OKIwi
l
lleav
e.
Hi
m: Iwi
llgi
vey
ouoneweekt
ogetev
ery
thi
ng
i
norder.
Wi t
ht hathel eft
.Icouldn'tleavethecountr
y.
Thisismyoppor tuni
tytogetj ohn.Hemustbe
veryv ulnerablenowandIwi l
lbether
etohelp
him heal .WiththemoneyIgotf r
om thesnake
I'
m sur eIcanbr ibesomeonet ofalsi
fytheDNA
test.Ther e'
snowayI '
m goi ngtolett
his
oppor tunitypassmeby .Ijusthavetomake
suret hatsnakedoesn' tfi
ndout .
#Emi
l
y

Lif
ehasbeenv eryhar df ormebutt heonl y
thi
ngt hatkeptmegoi ngi smybabygi r
lJosline.
Yesherf atherst i
lldi
dn' tknowany t
hingabout
herandIpl antokeepi tthatway .Thepastt wo
mont hshasbeenhel l
.Thet woweekst hatI
spenti nthehospi tal
johncamebyev er
yday .
Event houghIt oldhim Idi dn'twantt oseehi m.
Hewoul dst i
l
lcome.Hebeggedandbeggedbut
Iwoul dn'
tbudge.Par tifmewant edt obelieve
him butIwoul dr ememberseei ngleahi nour
mat r
imoni alhomenaked, Icouldn'ttakethe
pain.Icouldn'tbringmy selftoforgivehim.
WhenIwasr eleasedf rom t hehospitalIrented
aflatneart hehospi t
al soIcangoseemybaby
everyday .IchangedmynumberandIhadno
contactwi thjohnorhi sf ami l
y.It
sbeenal ong
twomont hsbutf inal
lyI '
mt akingmychi l
dhome.
Ican'
twai
t.
Me:
beaut
yhur
ryup,
Ineedt
ogogetj
os.
Shecamedown, ei
shmysisterandt hemi r
ror
arebestfri
ends.SheisalwayslatebutI '
m
grat
efulthatsheisherewit
hme.Icoul dn'
thave
doneitwithouther.Wegotsocl oset hepast
twomont hs,closert
henwehav eev erbeenour
enti
reli
fe.
Beaut
y:comel
et'
sgo.
Me:
I'
m soexci
tedIj
ustcan'
tcont
ainmy
sel
f.
Beauty
:don'
tyout
hinki
tsaboutt
imey
out
ell
herfat
her
?
Me:I'
m mydaughter
'sf
atherandmot
her
.She
doesnotneedhi
m.
Beaut
y:IknowIwastheonewhot ol
dyounot
togi
vehim asecondchancei
nthebegi
nni
ng
butIt
hinkhehassuff
eredenough.
 
Me:beaut
yplease,
Iliket
hewaywear
enowI
don'
twantyouspoil
ingit
.
Beaut
y:OKI
'
m sor
ry.
 
Ihadsentjohndivorcepapersbuther efusedt o
signit
.I'
mjustgoingt ofocusonmybabygi r
l
fornowandwhensheabi tbiggerI'
l
ltakehim
tocourttobediv
or ced.Ican'
thav emychi ld
beari
ngthesamesur nameasLeah' schild.And
tothi
nkthatIhel
pedherwhenshecamet omy
house.Ishoul
dhav elefthertodie.

#John

Thepastt womont hshav ebeenhel l.Mywi f

e
hasdisappearedandIdi dn'thowt of i
ndher.I
wentt oherhomet ownsomanyt i
mesbutI
couldn'tf
indher.Whycoul dn'tshejustbeli
eve
me.IknowImadet hemi stakeofsleepingwith
Leahbutt hatwasbef or
eweev engotseri
ous.I
havebeennot hingbutfaithfultoher.Sheisthe
onlywomanf orme.Iwasal readyonmy
secondwr it
tenwarningatwor kforgoingto
wor kintoxicated.Iwasn' tcopi ng.Ilookmysel f
i
nt hemi r
rorandIseeashadowofmy self
,I
couldn'teatorsl eep.Whathav eIdonet o
deserv esuchpai n,i
sitacr imet of alli
nlove?I
promi sedmy selfthatIwi l
lnev ergivemyhear t
toanot herwomanev eragai n.IhaddoneaDNA
testonEt hanandhei sindeedmyson.SoI
promi sedmy selfthatIdor ightbyhi m.It ryso
hardt obondwi thhim butIj ustcan't.Its
probabl ymyemot i
onalst ate.Iwassi t
tingon
thefloorinmyhousedr inki ngsomev odka
whent hewasaknockont hedoor .Iwentt o
openandi twasLeah.
Me:
whatdoy
ouwant
.
Leah:hi
toyout
oo.Icamet
obr
ingEt
hanhe
missesyou.
Me:
yeahr
ight
.
It
ookt
hechi
l
dfr
om herandshecamei
n.
Leah:
sohowhav
eyoubeen?
Me:
whatst
upi
dquest
ioni
sthat
?
Leah:
justaski
ng.Noneedt
obit
emyheadoff
pl
ease.I'
m gonnamakesomet
hingf
orust
oeat.
Hewenttothekitchen.If
edEthanhi
sbottl
e
unt
ilhef
ell
asleep.Iwenttoputhiminbed.I
wenttot
hekit
chen.Leahwaswashi ngthe
di
shesandIheldherf r
om behi
nd.
Leah:
hmm someonei
sexci
ted.
Ididn'
tsayany thingIjustpulldownmypant s,
shewaswear i
ngashor tdresssoIpul l
edup
herdress,andshov edherunder weartot hesi de.
Ibentherov er .Iputonacondom andIent ered
herwithoutwar ning.Ihadtor el
easemyst ress
andshewasj ustr i
ghtforthat.Istart
ed
poundingaway ,sheaskedmet osl owdownbut
Ididntcare.Al lIwantedismyr elease.Shef elt
sogood.It ight enmygr iponherwai stasI
came.Igotoutofher .Iwentt omybat hroom.I
tookthecondom outandwr appedi tintoil
et
paperandIt hrewi naway .Itookashowerand
gotdr
essed.

#l
eah

Thepastt womont hsIhav etr

iedsomucht o
getjohnt olovemebutt onoav ail
.Af ewweeks
agowest artedsleepingt ogetherbuthenev er
kissesmeorcuddl eswi t
hme.Hewi l
lfuckme
andt hat'
sit.hedoesn' tev encar etopleaseme.
Idon'tknowwhatt odo.ThesangomaIwentt o
gav emesomet hingtoputi nhisf oodhopef ul
ly
todayt hi
ngswi ll
starttochange.If el
tsoused
whenhef uckedmei nt heki t
chen.Ihear dhim
comi ngdownt hestairsandIpr etendedt ocry.
Hej ustlookedatmeandwentt ot hekitchen,
he
camebackwi t
habeerandswi tchedont heTV. 
Me:y
oudon'
tev
encar
eenought
oaskwhat
'
s
wr
ongwit
hme?
John:
Idontgi
veaf
uckLeahy
ouknowt
hat
.
Me:
Ial
sohav
efeel
i
ngsy
ouknow?
 
John:
ifyoufeel
thi
si st
oomuchfory
out
hen
l
eave,nooneisfor
cingyout
ostay
.
Me:whyyoubei
ngsomeantome?I
'
m doi
ng
ev
eryt
hingt
omakeyouhappy
.
John:
theonl
yper
sont
hatcanmakemehappy
i
smywi f
e.
Me:may beyoushouldsignthedivor
cepaper
s
andwecanbeaf amil
y.Youcanseeshe
doesn'
tl
ov eyou.Sheprobablyhassomeone
el
se.
Isawhiseyestur
nred,hecametomeandhel
d
myneck.Hewaschoki ngme.Iwassl
owl
y
l
osingconsci
ousness.
[
03/
04,
16:
28]Ron:
Att
hef
li
psi
deofkar
ma

I
nser
t29
#j
ohn

Iwasf astasleepwhenIhear dscreamingdown

stairsandIj umpedoutbed.Iputonmy
sli
pper sandr usheddownst ai
rs.Thefi
rstti
me
thingIsawwasbeaut yhit
ti
ngLeah.Shewas
pulli
ngherhai r
.Mostofherf r
onthairwasgone.
Shehadbl oodal lov
erherface,hereyeswer e
swol l
en.Irant othem.Isawbl oodoutsidethe
doorbutnonoft hem l
ookedlikethatt
heyhad
bledt hatmuch.Leah' svestwasalltor
n
exposi ngherbr a.Et
hanwasont hecouch
crying.
Me:
WHATTHEHELLI
SGOI
NGONHERE.
Beautyst
oppedpunchi
ngLeah.Inot
icedbags
bythedoor,
shewasprobabl
ygetti
ngreadyto
you.
Beaut
y:yousonofabi
tchhowcany
oudot
his
tomysister
?
Me:whatt
hehell
arey
out
alki
ngaboutand
wher
eismywife?,
Beauty:ohsonowy oucar
e?Youdonef
ucking
thi
sbitch.LetsseewhenI
'
m donehowwil
lyou
feelwheny ouseeher
. 
Me:st
opi
tbeaut
y,LeahandIarenottoget
her
.I
l
ovemywif
eandIwouldn'tst
oopsolow.
Beaut
y:prayshedoesn'
tl
ooset
hebabyorI
'
ll
comeafteryoutwo.
 
Me:
wai
twhat
?
Shestormedoutqui cklybef oreIcouldgett o
hershewasal readydrivingout .Iwenttolook
formycarkey sbutwhenIgotouthercarwas
nowher etobef ound.IpassedLeahcr yingon
thefl
oorholdingherbaby ,r
ightnowIdi dn'tgive
ashitabouther.Itookmyphonet ocal
lEmi ly
butIcouldhearherphoner ingingfrom outside.
Igotsoangr y
.Ipunchedt hewal l.Myhands
hurtbutthepaincouldnotbecompar edt othe
emot i
onalpai
nIf el
tinside.Ineededanswer s.I
wentLeah.
Me:
whathappenedher
e?
Shej
ustl
ookedatmeandcr
ied.
Me:
tal
ktomedammi
t.
Leah:em...
Emil
ycamebythehouseandI
openedthedoorwit
hatowel,
sheconcl
uded
thatwesleptt
oget
herandIt
hinkshel
ostt
he
baby.
Iwantedsomucht
oslapherbutIknewi
fIst
art
hi
tt
ingwomanIwil
lnevergoback.
Me:youwer
esupposet
oleav
ethi
spl
acef
ir
st
t
hingint
hemorni
ng.
Leah:
IknowI
'
m sor
ry,
Iov
ersl
ept
.
Me:
fuckLeahl
eav
ebef
oreIki
l
lyou.
 
Leah:
whataboutEt
han.
Me:wewi
ll
sti
ll
dot
het
esti
fhe'
smi
neI
'
llkeep
hi
m wi
thme.
Shewant
edt
osaysomet
hingbutt
hought
agai
nsti
t.Ical
l
edanuberf
orherandshelef
t.I
cl
osedmydoorandwenttothehospi
tal
.

#emi
l
y

ThepainIfeltwasunbearabl
e,Ikeptpraying
pleasemyLor dkeepmybaby .Igottothe
hospit
alandIwasr ushedtotheemer gency
room andtheydoctorsai
dIshoul dsi
gn
documentsforaemer gencyc-secti
on. 
Me:
pleasedoev
ery
thi
ngt
osav
emybaby
.
Doc:
wewi
l
ljustr
elax.
That'
sthel
astthi
ngIremembered.Iwokeupi
n
aroom wit
hmysi st
erbymysideholdi
ngmy
hand.Shel
ookedamess.Imov edandshe
l
ookedatme.
Beaut
y:hi
howar
eyou?
Ist
art
edt
opani
casIt
ouchedmyt
ummyandi
t
wasf
lat
.
Me:
mybaby
,wher
eismybaby
.
Ishout
ed.Thedoct
orcamei
ntocheckonme.
Doc:
howar
eyouf
eel
i
ngMr
sAbr
aham?
Me:
pleasedocwhathappenedt
omybaby
.
Doc:shhcal
m down,
yourhear
tist
ooweak
don'
tstr
ess.
Me:
don'
tst
ress?Iwantmybaby
.
Doc:WellMrsAbraham yourbabywasbor n
premat
ure,herl
ungsarenotf ul
lydev
eloped
hencesheisinanincubatorbutshewil
lbejust
fi
ne.
Me:
didy
ouj
ustsayshe?
Thedoct
orsmi
l
ed.
Doc:shewi
l
lneedt
ospendt
womont
hsi
nthe
hospi
tal
.
Me:
doct
ort
hanky
ousomuch.
Doc:youarewelcomenowbackt oy ou.You
musttakeiteasy.yourhear
tisveryweakand
cannottakeanymor eheartache.Ifyouwant
toseeyourdaughtergrow,youmustt akeit
easy.I
tsthatser
ious. 
Me:
thanky
oudocIwi
l
l.
Heleftaft
erhedi daqui ckexami nati
onofmy
operat
ionandpr escri
bedmedi ci
nef orpain.I
wassogl adt hatIdidn'thavetodot hi salone.I
hadmysi sterwi thmeandIwi llgetov erthis.
theemotional painIfeel i
swayst rongert han
thephysi
cal painIfeel.Thistimei willnot
acceptdefeat.Ihadmydaught ertot hi
nkof .
Leahandj ohncanst aytogetherforal lIcare.
Beaut
y:babysi
s,y
ousoqui
et,
don'
tst
resshei
s
notwort
hit.
Me: IknowbutI
'
m donewi
thhi
m.Hecanhav
e
Leah.
Beaut
y:Idoubthei
sgoi
ngt
owantheraf
ter
whathappened.
Me:
whatdi
dyoudo.
Beaut
y:Idet
achedal
lthehai
rfr
om herhead
andIpoundedherf
acein.
Me:
ohbeaut
yyounev
erchange.
Itr
iedtolaughbuti
twaspainf
ul.Beautyl
oves
tofight
,Irememberhowshewillbeatupthe
gir
lsatschoolf
ortal
kingt
oherboy f
ri
end.
Beaut
y:noonehur
tsmyl
i
lsi
sandget
saway
wit
hit
.
Me:
Iwoul
dn'
thav
eitanyot
herway
.
Beaut
y:ar
eyouhungr
y.
Me:
noI
'
m not
.
Beaut
y:y
ouhav
etogai
nyourst
rengt
h. 
Me:
OKIwi
l
lhav
esomesoup.
Beaut
y:OKI
'
llber
ightback.
Icl
osedmyeyes.Theyj
ustfel
tsoheavy.Itr
ied
tosl
eepbutasIwasabouttoclosemyey es
someonehel
dmyhand.Ididn'
thav et
oopen
myeyest
oknowt
hati
sjohn.Iopenedmy
ey
es.
 
Me:
whatdoy
ouwanther
e.
John:
pleasebabydon'
tshutmeout
.
Me: j
ohnl i
stentomeandl istengood.Iwon't
havet orepeatmy selfagai
n.Iwantnot hingto
dowi thyouev eragain.Idon'twannaseey ouor
heary ou.Don'
tev ercomecl oset ome.Goand
bewi thLeahandy ourson.Wenol ongerhave
anythingthatbindsust ogether.Igaveyou
nothingbutloveandy oucouldn'tevenwaitone
mont hforme.Mayy ouguysbehappyt oget
her.
John:Iswearonourchi
l
d'sl
i
feIdi
dn'
tdo
anyt
hing.
Me:don'
tyoudareopeny
ourmout
handt
alk
aboutmychi
ld.
John:wewill
gett
hrought
his,
wewi
l
lhav
e
otherki
ds.
Iseehet
hinkst
hatIhadami
scar
ri
age,
Iwon'
t
bot
hercor
rect
inghi
m.Iguessi
tisf
ort
hebest
.
Me:
goj
ohnandnev
ercomeback.
John:
pleasedon'
tdot
his,
howdoIbegi
ntol
i
ve
wit
houtyou?
Me:youshouldhavethoughtaboutt
hatwhen
youbrokeourweddingvows.
John:
IswearIdi
dn'
t.
Me:
gobef
oreIhav
esecur
it
ythr
owy
ouout
.
John:
finebutI
'
m notgi
vi
ngupony
ou.
Hewal kedoutcr ying.Ifel
tsobadf orhi
m butI
hadt obest rongf ormydaught er.Iwasn't
meantt obehappy .Idon'tknowwhatIwas
thinki
ngget t
ingmyhopesup.Ihadt omov eon
i
tf orthebest .Laterthenur secameand
wheeledmet omydaught er.Shewassot iny,
thankGodshedi dn'tlooklikeadr i
edprune.She
l
ookedj ustl
ikeherf ather.Itbrokemyhear tinto
piecesl ooki
ngather .Shehadt ubesi nhernose.
Mypoorbaby .Ivowt opr otecty ouforther est
ofmylif
e.Ihadtoexpr
essmi
l
kforhersi
nce
shecoul
dn'tsuck.

[
03/
04,
17:
20]Ron:
Att
hef
li
psi
deofkar
ma

I
nser
t31

#Leah

Hel etmego, Iwascoughi ngnonst op.He

l
ookedatmewi t
hsomuchhat red.Het ookhis
carkey sandleft
.Icontinuedcooki ng.Hemust
eatthisfoodwhet herhelikesitornot .Iwas
reall
yheartbroken.Whyi si tt
hatIcan' tfi
nd
truelove.Ev
erymant hatIam wi t
ht reatsme
l
ikeshit.Whatiswr ongwi thme.Lookatj ohn
cryi
ngov erEmily,whycan' tsomeonef eelli
ke
thatf
orme?Am Ir eall
ythatugly?Whatdoes
shehavethatIdon't
?Whi l
eIwasbusyt hi
nking
j
ohncamei n.Hewassweat i
ngsohepr obably
wenttothegym.Hewentupst ai
rsandlat
eron
hecamedown.Icoul dtellhetookashower
becausehi
shairwasst il
labitwet.
 
Me:
arey
ouhungr
y?Icooked.
Hedi dn'tsayany thinghej ustwentt osi tbyt he
dini
ngt able.Iwentt odishupf orhim, Iputt he
poti
onont hef ood.Ir eall
yhopet hiswor ks.I
wentt ogivehi mt hefood.Aswewer eaboutt o
eattherewasaknockont hedoor.Themoment
Iopenedmyf acial expressionj
ustchanged.
Thiswi t
chi shereagai n?Whycan' tshej ust
l
eav eusal one.Ij ustcan'tdealwithher .She
pushedmeoutoft hewayandwentst raightt o
j
ohn.Shet ookhi spl ateandwentt ot akei tto
thesink.
John:
grannyIwasgonnaeatt
hat
.
Her
:thei
snowayIwi
l
llety
oueatt
hatpoi
son
t
hatbi
tchcooked.
John:
I'
m hungr
ywhatmustIeatnow.
Her
:Igotr
eal
foodf
ory
ou.
Ijustgotsoangr yandIstormedoutoft he
house.Iwashal fwayt omyapar tmentwhenI
realisedthatIlef
tmysonwi thjohn.Ther
ei sno
wayIwasgoi ngtogobackt here.Iwil
lpickhim
upl ater.Igottomyapar tment.Iopenedt he
doorandt urnedont heli
ghtsandboom Igot
thebi ggestshockofmyl i
fe.
Me:
Mr.
..
s..
snake.
Hi
m:di
dInott
ell
yout
oleav
ethecount
ry?
Ikeptqui
et.Hepoi
ntedagunatme.
Me:Iam st
il
lgoi
ngt
oI'
mjustsor
ti
ngoutsome
st
uff
.
Him:
soIlookedl
i
keIwaspl
ayi
ngwhenIt
old
yout
oleave.
Me:
no,
pleasef
orgi
veme.I
'
lll
eav
eev
ent
oday
.
Him:youknowhowmuchIhat ewomanthat
doubl
ecrossme.Idon'
thandl
ebetr
ayal
very
well
.
Me:pl
easedon'
tki
l
lme,
Iwon'
tev
erdoi
tagai
nI
swear
.
Iwassoscar edmostl
yformyson,ifIdi
ewho
wil
ltakecareofhi
m.Lordhowdi dIgether
e.I
f
onl
yIwoul dhavej
ustlef
tthecount
ry.
Hi
m: doy
ouknowwhatIdot
oloseendsbaby
gi
rl
? 
Me:
no.
Hi
m:Iel
i
minat
ethem.
Hepul
ledthetr
igger.Hehadasilenceronhi
s
gunsoIdoubtthatanyonewil
lhear.Heshot
meonbothmyl egsandst omach.
He:Iwantyoutodieaslowpai nf
uldeath.As
youloseal
lthebl
oodiny ourbody,pl
easethi
nk
aboutwhatyoudi
d.Inyournextlif
enev er
doublecr
ossmeagain.Het henleft
.Bloodwas
fl
owi ngev erywher e.Iwasbegi nningtofeel
drowsy .Ir eachedf ormyphone.Ev ersi
nce
emi l
yhadherchi l
d.YeahIknowherdaught eri
s
ali
ve.Ihi redapr ivateinvesti
gatortof ol
l
owher .
Ihaveheraddr ess.Isentav oicenot etojohn.
Explainingev er
ythingIdidandIbeggedhi mt o
forgi
v emeandt oaskemi lytoforgivemet oo
butIdi dn'ttellhi
m Et hanisnothi sson.Iasked
himt opl easet akecar eofmysonandIal so
tol
dhi m wher eEmi lywas.

#Emi
l
y

Itwasni cehav i
ngmybabyathome.Shewas
suchapeacef ulbaby.Shedidn'
tgi
vemeany
stressatal l
.Sheonlycriedwhenshewas
hungry.Ev enifherdi
aperwaswet ,shewoul
dn'
t
fuss.Shewassobeaut i
ful
.Shehadmy
compl exionbutshelookedl i
keherdad.I
tbr
oke
myhear twhenIlookedatherbecauseshe
remindedmeofherf at
her .Imissedhim so
much.Weusedt ohavesomuchf untogether.I
cannotbeli
eveamant hatt reat
edmewi thso
muchl ovewil
ltr
eatmesobad.Iwi l
lfor
ev er
cheri
shourgoodt i
met ogether.It
ssadt hatjos
i
snotgoi ngtoknowherf atherbutIguessi t
hadtobedone.WhatcanIdo.  
Beaut
y:what
'swr
ong?Youl
ooksosad.
Me:Imissj
ohnsomuchdear
,Iwi
shIcanj
ust
cal
lhi
m.
Beaut
y:t
henwhydon'
tyou?
Me:becausey
ouknowbeauty,
heisprobably
wi
thLeahnow.Thelastt
imehecoul
dn'teven
wai
tonemonthforme.
Beaut
y:Ibel
i
evet
hismanl
ovesy
ouEmi
l
y.
Me:howdoy
ouknowt
hat
,youhar
dlyev
en
knowhi
m.
Beaut
y:Isawhi
m.
Me:
what
?When?Wher
e?
Beauty
:aboutt woweeksagoatthemall.He
l
ookedlikeaghost.Imeanhehardlyev
en
noti
cedme.I fhedidn'
tl
oveyouwhyishe
suf
feri
nglikethat
.
Me:whydidn'
tyoutel
lme?Besidesmaybehe
wasjusthav
ingabadday.Ican'
tbesur
ethat
hewasliket
hatbecauseofme.
Beaut
y:Idi
dtrybuteacht
imeIwant
edt
otal
k
toyouabouthi
my oushutmeout
.
Me:
itsbecauseI
'
mtr
yingt
ogetov
erhi
m.
Beauty
:li
stenyoumysisterandIl ovey
ou.I
knowIhurtyoubeforebutIreall
ychanged.Go
tal
ktoyourhusband.Mostoft hetimethi
ngs
arenotwhatitseems.
Me: I
'
vetal
kedtohim,
doi
ngi
tagai
nwi
l
lnot
changeanyt
hing.
Beaut
y:whatImeantyoumustli
stentohi
m,let
hi
m expl
ainandi
fyoustil
lwannadivor
cehi
m
aft
ert
hatsobeitbutheneedstoknowabout
hi
sdaughter
.It
snotf
aironhi
m orev
enonj
os.
Sheneedstoknowherfat
her
.
Me:
I'
ll
thi
nkabouti
t.
Iknowbeaut ywasmaki ngsensebutIj
ustcan'
t
bri
ngmy selftodothat.Hehurtmesomuch
andhemustpayf ori
t.IfIgi
vehi
m achanceto
expl
ainIknowhei sjustgonnasweettal
kme
i
ntoforgi
vinghim.

#j
ohn

Mygrandmawasjustget
ti
ngonmynerves.She
wasgoingonandonandIfel
tli
kemyheadis
goi
ngtoexpl
ode.
Me:gr
annypl
easeenoughoft
helect
ures.I
t
ri
edmybestbutemil
ywon'tl
i
stentome.
Gr
an:
doy
oubl
ameher
?
Me:
yesIdo.Thel
eastshecandocandoi
s
l
i
stent
ome.
Gran:shewashurt,
ifitwasy ouwhatwoul
dyou
havedone?Shelostachildinthepr
ocess
becauseofyourcar
elessness.
Ikeptqui
etIreal
l
ycan'ti
magi newhatshewent
thr
oughbutshecouldatleastli
stent
ome.I
gavehernoreasonnottotrustme.Shecoul
d
l
istentomysideofthestory.
Me:
ther
esal
way
stwosi
desofast
ory
.
Gr
an:
hir
eapr
ivat
einv
est
igat
or.
whenIwasaboutt
oanswerEt
hanst
art
edt
o
cr
y.
Gr
an:
itsf
inej
usteatI
'
llgoat
tendt
ohi
m.
Tothinkofit
,Leahhasbeengonef orawhile.
Shemustcomef etchthechi ld.It
ri
edt ocallher
butherphonewentst r
aighttov oi
cemai l
.IsawI
hadaWhat sAppv oicenotef rom her.Il
ist
ent o
i
t.OMW.Ir antomyr oom andIwentt otakemy
carkeys.Ir
ushedt omycar .Icouldheargranny
call
ingmebutIi gnor
edher.Mymi ndwas
raci
ng.Shetoldmenott ogotoherbecause
shealreadycall
edtheambulance.Howcana
personbesowi cked?Idi
dn'tt
hinkLeahhadi t
i
nhert obesoev i
l
.Ir
eall
yhopeshedi es.Igot
tothecompl ex.
 
Secur
it
y:si
rIcan'
tlety
oui n.Ihavet
ocal
lthe
ownerstoaskift
heyareexpectingy
oubecause
youarenotontheguestl
ist.
Me:Iunder
standbutIj
ustgoti
nt hecount
ry
andIwanttosurpr
isemygir
lfr
iend.Youknow
howiti
s.
Secur
it
y:i
ftheyr
epor
tme,
I'
ll
geti
ntr
oubl
e.
Me:
theywon'
tIpr
omi
se.
Isl
ippedhi m acoupleofhundredsandhel et
mei n.Iwalkedtotheirapartmentandknocked.
Shecameandopenedt hedoor .Ifel
tli
keI
haven'tseenherinforever.Shelookedso
beautif
ulbutshehasl ostweight.Shewas
carr
y i
ngababy .
Admi
n'
snot
e
Pleaseguy sI'
m beggi ngy ouagai n.Let '
swor k
together.Iwor k,Ihaveaf amilybutImakesur e
Itypesomet hingfory ouguy snomat terhow
ti
redIam.Let 'swor ktoget her.Thishast obe
bothway s.Pleasedon' tjustread, givemey our
viewsandi fyoudon' thav eoneatl easthitli
ke
andshar e.Itsjustabut t
oni tdoesn' ttakeev en
ami nute.Ar elati
onshi ptowor kbot hparties
havet owor kt ogether.Hav eagoodni ght.Love
youguy s.
[
03/
04,
17:
20]Ron:
Att
hef
li
psi
deofkar
ma

I
nser
t32

#Emi
l
y
Iwassosur pri
sedtoseejohnatmydoorstep.
Howdidhef indme?IpanickedwhenIhear
d
babyJosbur p.Iqui
ckl
ycl
osedthedoorandI
wenttotakemybabyt otheroom. 
Whatwi l
lIdonow.Hecontinuedknocki
ngandI
hadtoopenorthenei
ghborswi ll
call
thepoli
ce.
Igentl
ywenttoopenthedoor .Hecamein.How
Iwishbeautywasher
e.Ireall
yneedmor al
support
.Helookedal
llost
.Hishairwasall
l
ong. 
Me:
whatdoy
ouwantj
ohn?Igotnot
hingt
osay
.
John:
who'
sbabyi
sthatEmi
l
y.
Me:whydoy ouevencar
etoknowjohn.You
deci
dedtobreakourweddi
ngvows.Idon'
thav
e
toanswert
oy ou.
Josl
inechosethatsamemomentt ocry.Befor
e
Icouldr
egist
erwhatwasgoingon,johnwalked
ri
ghtpassedme.Ifoundhiminj
os'room with
herinhi
shand.Itwassuchabeauti
f ul
sight
.I
snappedofit
.Icouldn'
tl
etemot
ionsgett he
bett
erofme.Thi
smancheatedonme.Iwentt
o
hi
m Itookmydaught
erf
rom hi
m.Ihel
dherso
prot
ecti
vel
y.
Me: don'tyoueverputyourdi
rt
yhandonmy
daught eragai
n.Thehandsthatyou'
vebeen
touchingLeahwi t
h.
John:
Ican'
tbel
i
eveIhav
eadaught
er.
Me:
youdon'
thav
eadaught
er,
Ido.
Hekeptquiet
,Idar
edt
olookathi
m.Hewas
si
tti
ngontheedgeoft
hebedcryi
ng.I
twas
suchasadscene.
John:
whydi
dyoul
i
etome?
Me:Idi
dn'
tli
et oyouj
ohn.YouassumedthatI
hadamiscar
riageandIdi
dn'tcor
recty
ou.
John:soy
ouwerej ustgonnakeepherfr
om me?
Sheismydaughteremi l
y,youhavenori
ghtto
keepherf
rom me.Ev enifIhadcheat
edwhichI
didn'
t.
Me:
I'
m nol
ongert
hatgul
l
ibl
eEmi
l
y,Iwon'
tfal
l
f
ort
hat
.Howsur
ear
eyout
hatshe'
syour
s?
John: shelooksjustli
kemeEmi l
y,Iknowy ou
aretryingtohurtmeandIknowImadea
mistakebutIswearIdi dn'
tsl
eepwi thherthe
dayy oucamet ot hehouse.Ididn'
tev entouch
her.Yesshewasst ayi
ngt herebutthatwas
onlybecauseIwant edt odoat estont heboy
fi
rst.I
'm sorr
yIdidn'ttelly
ouaboutitandt hat
youal mostlostourdaught er
.
Me:whyshouldIbeli
eveyounow?Youusedto
cal
lmeeveryday,whycoul
dn'
tyoumenti
onthat
Leahwasthere.
John:
Idi
dn'
twanty
out
ojumpi
ntoconcl
usi
ons.
Me:
whatdi
dIt
ell
youaboutt
ell
i
ngt
het
rut
h?
Helookeddown.Icoul
dn'
tdar
ebeli
evehi
m.I
j
ustcouldn'
t.Het
ookouthi
sphone.
Me:i
fyouwon'
tbeli
evemeatleastl
ist
ent
othis
r
ecor
dingi
faft
eryousti
l
lwantmet ogoIwil
l
.
Ij
ustnodded.AsIl
i
stenedIr
ecogni
sedLeah'
s
voice.Sheexpl ainedhowshef ooledmet hat
day .Sheexpl ainedhowshet riedsohar dt obe
withjohnbuthewoul dn'tgi
vehert heti
meof
day .Thatt helov eJohnhadf ormei srealand
thatIshoul df orgiveherandt akecareofher
son.Idi gestedev ery
thingandi twastoomuch
forme.Igav ej ost ojohnandIj ustsetdown
andcr ied.Howcoul dIbesost upid?Ialmost
l
ostmyhusbandbecauseIwassoconv inced
thatIdon' tdeser vetobehappy .Icoul
dn'ttake
thepai n.

#j
ohn

SeeingEmi lycryl
ikethatbrokemyhear t
,I
want edtocomf ortherbutIhadt olethertakei
t
al
lout .Il
ookedatmydaught erandshewast he
spl
itimageofmewhenIwasababy .I
fshe
wasn' tweari
ngpinkIwoul dthi
nkshewasaboy .
Shewasj ustperf
ect.Ii
mmedi atelylef
tast r
ong
bondwi t
hher.Iwil
lst
ri
vetobebetterf
ormy
daughterorandformysontooofcourse.Emi
l
y
camet omeandkneeleddowni nfr
ontofme.I
tr
iedtohelpherupbutshestoppedme.
Emily
:letmesayt hisplease.Ihav ehadthe
worstexperiencewi thmeni nmyt eenageyears.
Ihavemadesomanymi stakes.WhenImar ri
ed
youIthoughtf i
nallyIwouldgetmyhappy
endi
ng.Whenal lthisli
ahthinghappened, I
convi
ncedmy selfthatmypastwasoutt ohaunt
me.IguessIl eftbecauseIwant edt osabotage
ourmar r
iage.Imv erysor r
yt hatIdidnotli
sten
toyouandt hatIkeptourdaught erfrom you.
Mydaughterwasal
readysl
eepi
ngi
nmyar ms.I
putheri
nhercri
bandIwenttoEmi
lyandgave
herahug. 
Me:
I'
ll
for
giv
eyoui
nonecondi
ti
on.
Emi
l
y:whatcondi
ti
on?
Me:
thaty
ouf
orgi
vemet
oo.
Sheputherar msaroundmyneckandpulled
mecl osertoherandwekissed.If
eltt
o
compl et
e.Ineverwant
edtoleaveherembrace
everagain.

#emi
l
y

It
st ruewhatt heysayaboutmakeupsex, itwas
j
ustt hebest .Afterourl ov emaki ngsessi onwe
fellasl
eepi neachot her'sar ms.Il aterwokeup
tothesmel l offood.Johnwasst illsleepi
ngsoI
l
ethi m be.Ilookedatj os' scribbutshewasnot
i
nt here.AsIgotoutoft her oom Ihear dbeauty
singingtoher .Iwentt ot hebat hroom t o
shower .Iwrappedt het owel overmeandIwent
tother oom.Iwentt ot her oom andIf oundjohn
sitt
ingont hebedl ookingl i
keazombi e.
Me:
Ithoughty
oust
il
lsl
eepi
ng.
Hedi
dn'
trespondorev
enmov
e.Iwenti
nfr
ont
ofhi
m andIsnappedmyf
inger
s.Het
hen
l
ookedatme.
Me:
wel
comeback,
what
'
swr
ong.
John:
I'
m sor
rydearbutLeahi
sdead.
Me:
how?Whot
oldy
ou.
John:Icutt
herecor
dingbef
orey
oucoul
dhear
thatshewasshot.
Me:Ithoughtshewasjustf
eel
i
ngbadand
wantedtorunaway.Soshewasshot
?
John:yesandthedoct
orjustcal
l
edsay i
ngt
hat
shejustdi
ed.Andshelef
tmeal ett
er.
Me:omgImeanshewasev ilandal
lbutshe
di
dn'
tdeservet
odie.Poorbaby.Iev
enforgott
o
askaboutt
hetest
.Isheyours?
Hel
ookeddown.
John:y
esheisbutdon'
twor
ryIdon'
texpect
youtorai
sehi
m.Iwil
laskmygrannyt
odoi t
.
Me:
medon'
tbesi
l
ly,
ImeanIam gonnaneeda
hel
pbutwewi
llr
aisehimtoget
her
.Hejustl
ost
hi
smom andy
ouar etheonl
yfami
lyhehaslef
t.
John:
areyousure?Idon'
twanthi
mremi
ndi
ng
youofthepast
.
Me:thatchi
ldisinnocent,
evenifi
twouldhav
e
happenedthatyouhadanaf fai
rwit
hhismother
.
Iwouldsti
llt
akehimi n.HowcanIhate
someonesoi nnocent?
Hegav
emeal
ongl
i
nger
ingki
ss.
John:whathav
eIdonet
odeser
veanangel
li
ke
you.
Me:i
tsagoodthi
ngy
ouknowwhaty
ouhav
e.
Nev
erfor
geti
t.
John:
Iwoul
dn'
tev
eni
fyoupai
dme.
Hethenwentt
owashandIwentdownst
air
sto
beaut
y.
Beaut
y:someonei
sgl
owi
ng.
Me:
pleasedon'
tmakemebl
ush.
Beauty
:si
tdown,giv
emeal lthedet
ail
showdid
thi
shappen.Imeanjustafewhoursagoyou
wantednothi
ngtodowi t
hme.
Me:i
tsalongst
ory
,IpromiseIwi
l
ltel
lyoubut
f
ir
stwil
lyoudomeaf avor
?
Beaut
y:any
thi
ngf
ory
oumyl
ove.
Me:pl
easecanyoulookaf
terJos,
johnandI
needt
ostepawayforafew.
Beaut
y:hmm,
secondsessi
onwi
thhubby
.
Me:nomanbeaut
y,i
tssomet
hingi
mpor
tantwe
needt
odo.
Beaut
y:ofcour
seIwi l
ltakecar
eofher,
you
don'
thavetoask.YouknowhowIl ov
eher.
She'
smychancet ofeelli
keamother
.
Icouldseethesadnessi
nherey
es.Ican'
tev
en
begintoimagi
nehowshei sf
eel
ing.
Me:
ohbeaut
y.Igav
eherahug.
 
Beaut
y:don'
twor
ryImadepeacewi
thi
tand
nowIhav
eadaught
eri
nbabyj
osl
i
ne.
Me:y
ouknowwhatismi
nei
syour
sexceptf
or
myhubbyofcour
se.
Beaut
y:don'
tbest
ingy
.
Webothlaughed.Johncametot
helounge.He
gr
eetedbeauty
.Wechat t
edf
orabitandthen
weleft
.
Wear ri
vedatthehospit
alandt heywer ealready
expecti
ngus.Wewentt ot hewar dwher e
Leah'
sbodywas.Shewascov eredupt oher
head.Thedoctoruncoveredhersowecoul d
i
dentif
yherbodyandt herewasnodoubtt hatit
washer .Thedoct
orgavej ohnal ett
er,
her eadit
andscreamed" WHAT"r i
ghtbefor eheturned
pale.
[
03/
04,
17:
20]Ron:
Att
hef
li
psi
deofkar
ma

I
nser
t33
#emi
l
y

Hef i
nishedr eadingt henoteandputi this
pocket.Ididn'taskany thingbecauset hedoctor
wasst il
lwithus.I '
m surehewi l
ltel
l mewhati t
i
swhenhe' sr eady.Iam notgoingt opushhi m.
Wewentt osi gnsomepaper s.Thenwel ef
tthe
hospital
.Wegoti nt hecarandwej ustsatt here.
Hedi dn'
tsayawor d.Aftersometimehet urned
tolookatme.Hi sexpr essionwasbl ank.Ididn'
t
knowwhatt oexpect .
 
John:
shelef
tme5mi
l
li
oni
ncash.Shesai
dit
s
i
nherflat
.
Me:shedi
dwhat
?Wher
edi
dshegett
hatki
nd
ofmoney.
John:
Idon'
tknow.Shet
oldmeshewas
di
sownedwhenshegotpregnantandshewas
l
eftwi
thnot
hing.
Me:
thi
sisscar
y.
John:Iknowlov
ebutIwantnothi
ngt
odowit
h
thatmoney.Iwi
llsetupat
rustf
undf
orEt
han
withi
t.
Me:It
hinkt
hati
sagr eati
dea.Doy
ouknow
any
thi
ngaboutherf
ami l
y?
John:Iknowt
heyaref
rom capet
ownthat
s
aboutit
.Wewerehavi
ngsomethi
ngver
y
casual
. 
Me:wemustpr
epar
efuner
alar
rangement
s
t
hen.
Hel
ookedatmei
ndi
sbel
i
ef.
John:j
ustwhenIthoughtIcan'
tlov
eyouany
more.Boom youprovemewr ong.
Me:i
tst
heleastwecandoforEt
han,oneday
whenhegr
owsup.Youwill
beabletoshowhim
hi
smother
'sgrav
e.
John:
Iwasaf
rai
dtoasky oubecauseIdi
dn'
t
knowhowyouwil
ltakei
t.Thankyousomuch.
Me:
remembert
hatIwi
l
lal
way
sbet
her
efory
ou
mylove.y
oucant
alkt
omeaboutany
thi
ng
pl
ease.
John:Iwi
l
l al
way smylove.Howcomey ou
woulddothatforherevenaft
erwhatshedi
dto
us?Wealmostl ostourbaby
.
Me:shehadalreadygott
entheworst
puni
shmentforhersinswhi
chisdeath.What
's
thepoi
ntofmehat i
ngher.
John:y
our eal
l
yarebl
essi
ngf
rom God.I
'
m
neverl
ett
ingyougo.
Me:
Ihopeso.
Hest
art
edt
hecarandwedr
oveof
f.
John:whocameupwi
thaf
unkyasnameas
j
osli
ne?
Me:
howbabyt
hat
sabeaut
if
ulname.
John:
say
swho.
Me:
me.
John:
Ifeel
sor
ryf
orourki
ds,
your
eal
l
ycl
uel
ess
wheni
tcomest
onami
ng.
Ihi
thi
m pl
ayf
ull
y,hewasl
aughi
ngv
eryhar
d. 
John:
hav
eyour
egi
ster
edhery
et?
Me:nonoty
et.Shej
ustgotoutoft
hehospi
tal
notsol
ongago.
John:i
treal
l
yki
l
lsmet
hatIwasn'
tther
eforher
andyou. 
Me:itwassad,shehadtubesallov
er.Ihadt
o
expr
essmilk.Shecoul
dn'tsuck.
John:
itmusthav
ebeenhar
dtoseeherl
i
ket
hat
.
Me:
itwasbuti
tsal
li
nthepastl
et'
smov
eon.
John:
Aur
ora
Me:
huh?
 
John:
liketheDi
sneypr
incess,
becauseshe'
s
myprincess.
Me:
itsabeaut
if
ulname.
John:
duh 
Me:mxm,Auror
ajosl
i
neAbr
aham.Il
i
ket
he
soundoft
hat
.
Wedr oveal lthewaytoourhouse, j
ustlaughi
ng.
Imissedt his.Hewasi mitat
ingTrevorNoah.
Wegott ot hehouset ofindgrannyasleepon
thecouchwi thbabyEthan.Iwenttotakehim
from herbutshewokeup.
Gran:
ohmybabyhowar
eyou?Whydi
dyou
shutmeout
?
Igav
ethebabyt
ojohnandIwentt
ohugher
.
Me:ohgr
annyI'm sor
ry,
IwashurtandIdi
dn'
t
wannat
alktoyoubecauseIknewyouwouldtel
l
j
ohnwhereIwas.
Gran:Iunder
standbaby,
Itr
iedcall
ingy
our
motherbutsheneveranswered.I
'
m sorr
yabout
t
hebaby .
Me:
act
ual
l
ygr
anny
,shei
sal
i
ve.
It
ookoutmyphoneandshowedherAur
ora'
s
pi
ctur
es.
 
Gran:nowt hati
smygr
anbaby ,
shel
ooksl
i
kea
boy.Allshelooksl
i
kei
sjohn.
 
Wej
ustl
ookedatherandl
aughed.
Me:
Hernamei
sAur
oraJosl
i
ne.
Gr
an:
shewi
l
lbeacr
ybabywi
tht
hatname.
John:
howgr
anny
.
Gr
an:
youseej
ohn,yourr
eal
chi
ldwil
lnotneed
aDNAtest
.Wecanseeshe'
sourbl
ood.
John:grandmapl
ease.I
'v
ealr
eadytol
dyout
he
testcameoutposi
ti
ve.He'
smine.
Gran:Idon'
ttr
ustt
hosethings.Whatki
ndof
motherabandonsherchil
dliket
hat?Hi
s
nappi
esar eevenf
ini
shed.
Johntol
dherev
eryt
hingfr
om thevoi
cenot
e,
Leah'
sdeat
htothefuner
alcomingup.
Gran:
wow, t
hat
'salott
odigest.Emil
ybabyyou
aremoret
hanawomanI '
l
leverbe.From t
he
dayImetyouIknewwechoser ight
.
Me:
thanky
ougr
anny
.
Gran:Iwi
shyouwer
eher
etoseeme,
Ishowed
herfl
ames.
Me:
grannydon'
tspeaki
l
loft
hedead.
Sherol
ledhereyesli
keat eenager
.Ij
ust
coul
dn'thel
pbutlaugh.Thiswomanneh.She's
j
ustthebest.Shetol
dmest or
iesofwhatshe
sai
dtoLeahwhenshef oundhere.

#j
ohn

Thepastweekhasbeenhect ic.Iwouldn'thave
donet hatwithoutmywi fe.Shepr act
icall
ydi d
allt
hef uneral ar
rangement s.Iadmi r
emywi fe
real
ly.Iwil
lmakesur eforasl ongasIliveIwi l
l
onlyputsmi lesonherf ace.Wegott hebaby
nurseryready .Wehi r
edanannyt ohelpEmi ly
withEthan.Af tereveryt
hingt hathappenedIl ost
myj ob.ItwasMondaymor ning.Iwasj ust
comingf r
om t heoffi
cewher eIgotmy
di
smi ssall
etter.Leah'
sfuneralwasyesterday.I
t
wassosad, Imeani twassoempt yapar tfr
om
myf ri
endsandmywi f
eandsomechur ch
member s.Ididn'tmanaget olocat
eherpar ents
soIletitbe.Idrovehomeandf oundEmi ly
breastf
eedingmydaught er
.
Iwentt
oherandki
ssedt
het
wooft
hem.
Me:
heymybabi
es.
Emi
l
y:hi
lov
e,whyar
eyousoear
ly?
Me:
Iwasdi
smi
ssedf
rom wor
k.
Emi
l
y:ohbabyI
'
m sor
ry.
Me:it
sOKbaby ,
Iwasn'
treal
l
yhappyt her
e
any
way .I
tsal
waysbeenmydr eam t
oopenmy
ownfir
m.
Emily
:youknowy oucandoanythi
ngy ouput
yourmindon.I
'
llbewithyouev
erystepofthe
way.
Me:
itwon'
tbeeasybuti
twi
l
lbewor
thwhi
l
e
whenittakesoff
.Howevert
hatwi
ll
meanIwi
ll
beworkingalotandspendi
ngl
essti
mewi
th
youguys.
Emil
y:asl
ongaswegettoseey
ouandpl
us
youmustnotki
l
lyour
sel
f.

Oney
earl
ater

#emi
l
y

I
thasbeenawonder f
ulyear.Mymar ri
agewas
j
ustgr owi ngstrong.Wewer emor ethanhappy .
Mybabi eswer eoney earoldal r
eadyand
wal
ki ng.Theywer eahandf ull
.Isti
l
lcan't
bel
iev ethatI'
mt hi
shappy .Somet i
mesIst il
l
pi
nchmy self
.Johnst art
edhi sownl awf i
rm and
hegott hisnewf ri
endwhi chwasal sohis
par
tner .Thebusi nesswasgoi ngwell.Iwas
get
tingr eadyt ostartschool soon.Ihadone
morey
earlef
ttogetmydipl
oma.Iwassi
tt
ing
i
nthel
oungewhenthenannyrant
omewi t
h
Et
hani
nherarms.
Me:
whathappened.
Her
:hej
ustsl
umped,
he'
sbur
ningup.
 
Me:
gogetmycarkey
s.
Sheranandcamebackwi
ththekey
s.Ipi
cked
upauror
awhowasbusycryi
ng.
Me:
shhbaby
,itwi
l
lbeOK.
Iputheri
nhercarseatattheback,thenanny
gotinhol
dingEt
han.Isentjohnatextbefor
e
rushi
ngtothehospi
tal
.
[
03/
04,
17:
20]Ron:
Att
hef
li
psi
deofkar
ma

I
nser
t34

#j
ohn
Lifehasbeenr eallygoodf orme, although
startingmyownf i
rm hasbeenachal l
engebut
Godhasbeenf aithful.Whatr eall
ysur pri
sedme
i
smeet i
ngCami l
o.Hei smyknewf riendand
busi nesspar tner.Hi spar entswer esout h
Africanbuthewasbor nandbr edinSpai n.I
thankGodf orsendi nghi m myway .Ev er
y dayI
fallmor eandmor ei nl ov ewit hmywi f
e.Just
thewayshel ov esEt hanonewi ll
nev erguess
thathei snotherbi ologi calchi l
d.Iam si tt i
ngi
n
myof ficegoingt hroughsomecasesandIgeta
messagef rom mywi fe.Thatwomani sso
sweet .Sheprobabl ywant st osayshel ov esme.
Shel i
kessendi ngr andom t extsliket hat.My
smi lef adedasIr eadt hemessage.It ookmy
carkey sandIwal kedt omyr ecept i
oni st
.
Me:Mary,
reschedul
eallmymeet ings,cal
l
Camil
ototakeovertheurgentcases.I
'm goi
ng
tot
hehospit
almysonwasadmi tted.
Mary
:I'
m sosor
ry.I
'
llpr
ayf
orhi
m.I
m ont
hat
now.
Me:
thanky
ou.
Irushedtothehospital
.Whatcouldpossibl
ybe
wrongmyson.Pl easeLor dhealhi
m.Myhead
wasal l
overtheplace.Igottothehospi
talandI
foundmywi feinthewaiti
ngr oom.Sheranto
meassoonasshesawme.Ihuggedher .She
cri
edinmyembr ace.
Me:
babywhathappened?
Emil
y:Idon'
tknowlov
e,hej
ustsl
umpedandI
br
oughthim her
e.
Me:
hast
hedoct
orsai
dany
thi
ng?
Emi
l
y:no,
I'
m st
il
lwai
ti
ngf
ort
hem.
Wesetther
eforwhatseemedliket
olongi
fyou
askme.Andthedoct
orapproachedus.
 
Doc:
MrandMr
sAbr
aham.
Me:
dochowi
smyson?
Doc:
let
'
sgot
omyof
fi
ce.
Thi
smustbeseri
ous.Wewalkedtot
hedoct
or'
s
off
iceandhemot
ionedust
ositdown.
Doc:wel
lMrAbr aham, yoursonwil
lbeOK.
Howeverweneedt operfor
m anoperat
ion.I
ts
qui
teami noroperati
onwhi chhasmorethan
90%percentsuccessr at
e.
Me:whatarewewai
ti
ngfor
?Igi
vey
out
hego
ahead.Any
thi
ngt
osavemyson.
Doc:
wehav
eabi
tofapr
obl
em.
Me:
whati
sit
?
Doc:hi
sRHi slowandheneedsblood.Hehasa
rar
ebloodgroupofABnegati
veandwedon't
curr
entl
yhavethatt
ypeofbl
oodherebutyou
hashisfat
hercandonat
ebloodforhi
m.
Me:t
hat
'snopr
obl
em atal
ldoc,
takeasmuch
asy
ouneed.
#Emi
l
y

Ethanr eallyscar edmet odeat h.Hemaynotbe

mi nebiological lybutIraisedhi m.Ihadspent
sleeplessni ght swithhim andIl ov ehim asI
l
ov emydaught er.I
'm gladthatt hedoct orfound
thepr oblem.Howev erI'
m abi twor riedthathe
willundergosur geryinsuchay oungage.I
wentbackt othewai t
ingr oom.Johnwentt o
thedoct ort ogetsomet estsdonebef oret hey
drawbl oodf r
om hi m.Hesuggest edIt aket he
nannyandAur orahomet or est.Idr ovet hem
home.Icookedsomef ood.Iknowmyhubby
willbeneedi ngsomef ood.Iwentt ot akea
showerandasIcameoutoft heensui teI
foundj ohnsi ttingont hebedcr ying.Ir ushedt o
him, Ifearedt hewor st.
Me:
babywhat
'swr
ong.
John:
hei
snotmi
ne.
Me:
noty
our
s?Whatdoy
oumean?
John:pl
easebaby,
Ijustneedy
our
ightnow.I
wil
lexpl
ainl
ater
.
Heki ssedme, Iknewt hi
sisnott hemomentf or
this.Weneedt obewithoursonbutmy
husbandneedsme.Wemadel ove.I
twasnot
theusual passionatel
ov emakingweal ways
hadbuthewasnotr ougheither.Somethi
ngjust
feltoff
.Hef ellasl
eepaftert
hat.Iwentdownt o
dishhisf ood.ItookatrayandIt ookt
hefoodt o
him.Islightl
ywokehi m up.
Me:
babyy
ouneedt
oeat
.
Hesatupandheat
eonlyt
wospoonsofr
ice.
Thenhel
ookedatme.
John:shel
i
edt omeemily
,shemademel
ove
hi
mf ornot
hing.Gr
annywasri
ght
.
Me:
baby
,Idon'
tunder
stand.Whol
i
edt
oyou?
John:
Leahshel
i
edt
ome,
Ethani
snotmyson.
Me:noty
ourson?Yout
oldmeshegav
eyout
he
DNAtest
.
John:shedi
dbutshef al
sif
iedit
.Ihadthetest
donetoseeifIcandonatebloodforhi
m.The
doctor
ssaidthatt
hereisnowayhei sblood
rel
atedtome.
OhGod,att
hemomentt
heonl
ythi
ngthatgot
meworr
iedist
heboy
.Wedon'
tknowhis
mot
her'
sfamil
y.
Me:
sohowdowesav
ehi
m?
Hel
ookedatmel
i
keIj
ustt
urnedi
ntoanal
i
en.
John:
inal
lIsai
d,t
hat
'sal
lyoucar
eabout
?
Me:
babyhei
sourson,
whet
herhi
sbl
oodornot
.
John:
Ican'
tbel
i
evey
ouar
eemi
l
y. 
Me: Johnthatboyi
sinnocent
,hedoesnot
deservethi
s.
John:l
ist
entomeandli
stent
omegood.Ido
notwantyouany
whereneart
hatboy
.Iwant
nothi
ngtodowit
hhim.
Me:
pleasej
ohndon'
tthi
s.
John:
mywor
disf
inal
.
Ij
ustf
ell
ont
hef
loorandcr
ied.OhLor
dpl
ease
hel
pme.
[
03/
04,
17:
20]Ron:
Att
hef
li
psi
deofkar
ma

I
nser
t35

#Emi
l
y

Forthepastt woday sIhavebeggedmy

husbandt ohelpmef i
ndbabyEthan'sgr and
parentsbutIwasspeaki ngtodeathear s.Itsso
badt hatIhavetosneakoutt ogoseeEt hanin
thehospital
.Iknowhi smot heri
sevilandshe
hurtusbutEt hanisinnocent.Hecannotpayf or
hismot her'
ssins.Ieventri
edtogetgrannyt o
tal
kt ojohnbutnot hi
ng.Imreall
yconfused.I
don'tknowwhatt odonow.Johnwasatwor k
andIwasget ti
ngreadytogot othehospi tal
whent hedoorbellrang.Iwenttoopenthedoor
anditwasbeaut y.Shehasbeenoutoft he
countryforayearnow.Shet eachesEngli
shi
n
China.Iatt
ackedherwi thahug.
Me:
OMGbeaut
y,whendi
dyoucomeback?
Beaut
y:af
ewday
sago.Iwentt
oseemom f
ir
st.
Me:Ij
usttal
kedt
omom yest
erdayandshe
di
dn'
ttel
lmeanythi
ng.
Beaut
y:It
oldhernott
o,Iwant
edt
osur
pri
se
you.
Me:comesi
tdown,
letmegety
ousomet
hingt
o
dr
ink.
Beaut
y:wher
eismybaby
,Iwantt
oherf
ir
st.
Ical
l
edaur or
aandshecamer
unni
ng.Thi
schi
l
d
can'
tjustwal
k.
Me:
Aur
orawal
kpl
ease.
Iwenttot
hekit
chentogetj
uiceforbeaut
yand
I.If
oundAur
orahol
dingadollandshewas
gi
ggl
i
ngasbeaut
yti
ckl
edher
.
Beaut
y:shei
ssogr
ownup,
shesobeaut
if
ul.
Me:andshei
snaught
ytoo.Youspoi
lhert
oo
much. 
Beaut
y:whoel
semustIspoi
l
?Shei
smybaby
.
Me:
Ihopey
oubr
oughtmesomet
hingt
oo.
Beaut
y:hehel
ookwho'
sjeal
ous.
Me:
ofcour
seIam.Shei
sst
eal
i
ngmysi
ster
.
Beaut
y:y
ouaremyonl
ysi
ster
,noonewi
l
lev
er
takey
ourpl
ace.
Me:
bet
ter
.
Beaut
y:wher
eisEt
han?Iboughthi
m some
goodi
estoo.
Ifel
ttear
sthreat
eni
ngtofall
asIheardhis
name.Mypoorchi l
d.It
oldbeaut
yevery
thi
ng
thathashappened.
Beauty:
Ithi
nkIcanhel
pwi
thbot
hyour
probl
ems.
Me:
whatdoy
oumean.
Beaut
y:Ihav
eanABnegat
ivebl
oodt
ype.
Me:
real
l
y?
Beaut
y:y
es.
Me:whatar
ewewai
ti
ngf
orl
etusgosav
emy
baby
.
Ididn'twast eany mor et ime.It ookmycarkey s
andwer ushedtot hehospi tal.Thedoct orr an
somet estsonbeaut yandhesai dthatshecan
donat ethebl ood.Icr iedt earsofj oy .Atleast
myboywi llmakei t
.Oht hanky oul or d.They
tooksomebl oodfrom beaut yandt hey
schedul edEt han'
ssur ger yforthenextday .We
spentsomucht i
mei nt hehospi tal thatIlost
trackoft ime.Icoul dn'tleav emysi st eral
one
notaf tershei shelpingmyson.Johnkept
calli
ngmebutIswi tchedofmyphone.Af tera
fewhour swel eftthehospi tal,Ipassedby
Nandost ogetsomet akeal way s,Iam t oot ir
ed
tocook.Igothomeandj ohnwasupst air
s.I
knowhewasangr ybuthehadtounderst
and.I
can'tl
ett
hebabydie.Iwentt
otheroom andI
foundhiminbedgoingthr
oughhi
sf i
l
es.
Me:
eveni
ngbaby
.
John:wher
ehaveyoubeenEmi
l
y,Ihav
ebeen
cal
li
ngyouall
day.
Me:
Iwasatt
hehospi
tal
.
John:
youati
tagai
nEmi
l
y,whydon'
tyoul
i
sten
tome?
Me: j
ohnIhavebeennothingbutagoodwifeto
you.Ihav
esupportedyout hr
oughever
ythi
ng
butIwil
lnotl
etapoorchilddie.I
fyouwant
thenyoucandiv
orceme.  
Hej
ustl
ookedatme.
Me: wel
lbeautyhasdonatedbloodf orbaby
Ethanbecausetheysharethesamebl oodt y
pe.
Hissurger
yisscheduledfortomorrow.Ifan
ounceofthecaringmanImar r
iedissti
lli
nyou
thenyouwillbeatthehospit
alwithmebuti f
notIwi
l
lst
il
lbet
her
e.Ther
eisnot
hingy
oucan
dotost
opme. 
Henoddedandcont
inuedwi
thhi
swor
kwi
thout
say
ingaword.
Me:
youcancomej
oinusf
orsupper
.
Iwentdownstai
rs,
thenannyhadal readyset
thetabl
eandauror
awasonherhi ghchair
messinghersel
fwi
thchips.Ical
ledbeautyand
j
ohncamedownandwesai dgraceandst ar
ted
eati
ng.Itwassoquietapar
tfrom Aurora'
snoise
ofcourse.
Beaut
y:ther
e'sact
ual
l
ysomet
hingIwantt
otal
k
toyouguysabout.
Me:
goahead.
Beaut
y: wel
lthewholereasonIcamebackt o
SAistoadoptachild.IknowIcan' thavemy
ownkidsbutIhavesomuchl ovetogi v
e.It
hink
all
thi
sthingshappenedforar eason.Iwant
ed
toaskifIcanadoptEthan.
Il
ookedatj
ohnt
osaysomet
hing.
John:Idonothatethechi
ldit
sjustt
hatever
y
ti
meIl ookathi
m Irememberthepainhis
mothercausedme.Idon'tknowhowy oudoit
emil
y.Iwill
agreetoanyt
hingyoudecide.
Me:Ilov
eEthanwithall
myheartbutIdonot
wanthimtoalwaysli
veunderhi
smother'
s
shadow.It
hinkyouwil
lbeagreatmotherf
or
hi
m.
Beaut
y:t
hankyousomuchsi
s.Iy
oudon'
tknow
howgrat
eful
Iam.
[
03/
04,
17:
20]Ron:
Att
hef
li
psi
deofkar
ma

I
nser
t36

#Emi
l
y

Et
han'
ssur
ger
ywasasuccess,
itwasnotl
ong
ti
ll hewasr unni ngar oundthehouseagai n.
Beaut ywasst ay i
ngwi thusaswewentt hrough
theadopt i
onpr ocess.I thurtmet hatIwoul dn'
t
beabl et obewi thEthanev erydayany morebut
I'
m gl adt hathewi l
lbeget t
ingall thelovehe
deser ves.Pl ushewi llbemysi ster'ssonandI
will alway sgett oseehi m.Johndi dsuppor tus
onEt han'ssur ger yandI '
mv erypr oudofhi m.
Lifei sjustper fect.Iwentoutshoppi ngwi t
hmy
sist erandwhenIgoti nIhear dvoi cesandt hey
wer elaughi ngint helounge.Ir ecogni zedjohn'
s
mot her,althoughIhav en'tmetheri nperson
becauseshecoul dn'
tmakei tforourweddi ng.
Gr annywasal sowi t
ht hem.
Me:
goodaf
ter
noon.
Them:
aft
ernoon.
IwentovertogrannyandIgaveheraki
sson
hercheeksandIwenttohugjohn'
smother
.I
gotaweirdvibefr
om her.
Me:
mom t
hisi
smysi
sterbeaut
y. 
Shejustnoddedandt
urnedt
otal
ktoher
mother.What'
supher
.
Me:
somom whendi
dyouar
ri
vei
nPr
etor
ia.
Her
:twoday
sago.
Me:pi
tyIdi
dn'
tknowyouwerecomi
ngIwoul
d
hav
ecookedsomethi
ngspeci
alf
ory
ou.
Her
:doIhav
etomakeanappoi
ntmentt
ocome
t
omyson'shouse?
Me:Idi
dn'
tmeanitl
i
ket
hatbutwecanal
lgo
outf
orsupper
. 
Her:yourgener
ati
onissolazy
,Iwoul
dneverbe
outofmyhouseatt hi
sti
meofdayknowing
thatmyhusbandneedstoeat.
Me:
I'
m sor
rymom.
What'swit
hthi
swoman?Whyi sbei
ngsomean
tome?Andt hefactt
hatj
ohnj
ustsatt
her
eand
didn'
tsayanyt
hinggott
ome.
Wewentoutf
orsupperwher
eIl
ear
nedsheand
myf at
herinlawareget
ti
ngadivorceandthat
sheispermanentl
ymov i
ngtoPret
oria.Iwas
notsohappyaboutthatbutal
tl
eastshewill
be
stay
ingatherownplace.WegothomeandI
putauror
at osl
eepandIwenttoshowerandI
gotinbedwher ej
ohnwas.
Me:
babycanIt
alkwi
thy
ou.
John:
sur
e.
Me:Ireal
l
yfel
tbadwhenyourmom was
at
tacki
ngmeandy ousai
dnothi
ng.
John:whatdidyouwantmet osay
?She'
smy
mother.Shoul
dIdisr
especther
?
Me:Idi
dn'
tsaydi
srespectherbuty
oucoul
d
hav
estoodupforme.
John:youover
eati
ngbabe,shemeantwel
l.She
wil
llov
ey ouwhenshegetstoknowyou.
Me:
OKi
fyousayso.
John:
plust
hedi
vor
cei
sst
ressi
ngheroutal
ot.
Iguessj
ohnisri
ght,maybesheisj
uststr
essed.
Onceshegettoknowmet hingswi
llbeOK.I
meanwhodoesn'tloveme.

Twomont
hsl
ater

Beautywasbacki nChinawi
thEthan,Ir
eall
y
missedhim al otbutIknowhe'
swel l
takencare
off
.Thingsbet weenjohnandIwerejustrocky.
Hismot herhatedmef orsomereason.Every
ti
meshecamebywewoul dendupf i
ghti
ng.
Sheev enturnedgrannyagai
nstme.Shewi ll
l
it
er al
l
ycomeev eyweekendtomyhouseand
dri
nk.Shedr ankwayt oomuch.Wewer esitt
ing
i
nt heloungewat chi
ngTVwi t
hjohnandhi s
mom.  
Her:
youusedtobesowi l
dbacki
nthedays.
Youwoul
dhardlysi
tathomeonaSaturday.
John:
yeahIwaswi
l
dbutnowI
'
m amar
ri
ed
man.Idon'
thav
eti
mef
ort
hatany
mor
e.
Her:
youv
eryst
upi
d,y
oul
etawomancont
rol
you.
John:
mom pl
easedon'
tst
art
.Wear
ehav
inga
goodti
me.
Her:
soy ougonnadi
srespectmebecauseof
t
histhi
ngyoucallawi
fe. 
John:Idi
dn'
tdisrespecty
ou.Butsheismywife
andthisi
sherhousey oucan'
tjustcomeher
e
andmaket r
ouble.
Her:y
ouar enolongermyson,
fol
l
owt hi
swi
tch
youcall
awi f
e.That'
swhyyouwil
lnev
erbe
anyt
hinginli
fe.
Johnjustgotsoangry.Hewasli
ter
all
ytur
ned
red.Hetookhiscarkeysandl
eft
.
Her:
Isuf
fer
edwi t
hmyson, Iwi
ll
notl
ety
ouget
awaywit
hturni
nghim agai
nstme.
I
mreal
l
yav er
yrespect
ful
per
sonbutIhav
ehad
i
twi
tht
hiswoman. 
Me:Ihavet
ri
edal
lIcant
omakeyouhappyI
don'
tknowwhyyoudon'
tl
ikeme.
Her:t
hatpot
iony
ouusedonmysonwi
l
lfi
nish
soon.
Me:Idon'thaveti
met ouselovepoti
ononyour
son.I
fyout hi
nkthatwayfeelf
reetotakehi
m
toapastororprophet
.
Her:
y ousuchapieceofshit
,I'
l
lmakesuremy
sonleavesyouandIwil
ltakemygranddaught
er.
Thi
swomani
sreal
l
ypushi
ngme.
Me:yoursoni snottheonl
ymanonear t
h.You
canmar r
yhimi fyouwanttobutdon'tmess
wit
hmychi ld.Imtheonewhogav ebirt
ht oher
andI'
l
l bedamnedi fIl
etanyonetakeher.I'
l
l
fi
ghtyouwithev er
ythi
ngIhave.
IstoodupandIwenttomyr oom.Ileftherin
theloungescr
eamingandswear i
ng.Itr
ied
call
ingmyhusbandbuthisphonewasof f
.Ij
ust
hopehedoesn'tdoanyt
hingstupi
d.
#Nel
i
sa

Mynamei snel
isaandI'
m 25year
sold.I'
m an
escor
tbutever
yonethi
nksI'
m anurse.I
'
mf rom
sal
danhabutIcametovisi
tmycousinforaf ew
months.
Li
sa:wear
egoi
ngt
omynei
ghbor
'sbi
rt
hday
par
ty.
Me:
ohcool
I'
ll
getr
eady
.
Iwentt ot akeashower,I
'm purecoloredfrom
theghett o.Ihavelongbl
ackhairandabodyt o
diefor
.Ihav ebeeninacouplerelati
onshipsbut
theyalldumpme.Igotof ftheshowerandI
appli
edl otiononmybodyandIwor eadeni m
highwai stedshortsandawhi t
evestandwhi te
converse.Ist yl
edmyhairandIputonRed
l
ipsti
ck.Thegi r
lswereal
readywai t
ingformei n
theinthel ounge.
Me:
let
sgopar
ty(
Iscr
eamed)
Them:
ohy
eah.
Wegottot hepartyandther
ewer en'
talotif
youngpeople.Thebirt
hdaywomanl ookedli
ke
shewasinherl ate40'
s.Wegotsomedr i
nks
andIwasj ustscanni
ngaroundtheroom whenI
sawthi
sreal l
ycuteguy.Godreal
lydidtakehis
ti
memaki nghim.  
Me:
li
sadoy
ouseet
hatguy
,hei
ssohandsome.
Li
sa:
dudeheissohotbutcany
ouseet
her
ing
onhi
sfi
nger
.
Me:
so
Li
sa:
badgi
rl
.
Me:
Im gonnagoov
ert
her
e.
Iwentt
ohi
m,hewast
alki
ngt
othi
sguy
.
Me:
hiI
'
m nel
i
sabutev
ery
onecal
l
smenel
.
Hej
ustl
ookedatmebuthi
sfr
iendt
alked.
Hi
m:hi
I'
m Cami
l
oandt
hisi
smyf
ri
endJohn.
[
03/
04,
17:
20]Ron:
Att
hef
li
psi
deofkar
ma

I
nser
t37

#emi
l
y

Ar ound11agotamessagef r
om john's
busi nesspartner.Hesai dt hatjohni sOKand
thathewi l
lspendt heni ghti nhishouse.It r
ied
cal l
ingCami l
oandhedi dn'tanswer .Imeanmy
husbandhasbeenf ri
endswi ththismanf or
ov eray earnowandIst i
llhav en'
tmethi m.Each
ti
mewei nvit
edhi mf ordinnerheal waysmade
anexcuse.It r
iedtalkingt oJohnabouti tbuthe
sai dCami lowasmostoft het imeouti fthe
count ry.IguessI'mj ustbeingpar anoid.Iwent
tocheckonmyangel .Shewassl eeping
peacef ull
y.Sheisi ndeedmyl i
fe.Shesav edme
from adar knesst hatt hr
eat enedtoi nfi
l
trateme.
Shewasnowl ookingalotlikeme.Iwentt obed
andItri
edtosleepbutIjustcouldn'
t.Iwokeup
i
nt her
emor ni
ng,Itookashower ,Igotdr
essed
andIwenttomydaught er'sroom.Ifoundthe
nannywithher.
Me:
itsOK,
wil
lbat
hhert
oday
.
Shenoddedandl ef
t.Si
nceIam backi
nschool
full
time,
Ihardl
yspendtimewit
hmydaught er
.I
trytomakeituptoheronweekends.
Me:
mor
ningpr
incess.
Iki
ssedheralloverherf
aceandshejust
l
aughed.IfeelsoatpeacewhenI'
m wit
hher.
Shemademef orgetal
lmyprobl
ems.Godknew
Iwouldnevercopethat'
swhyhesentmet hi
s
l
itt
leangel
. 
Aur
ora:
mommysht
oppeash.
Shewasl
ear
ningt
otal
kandi
twasr
eal
l
yfunny
.
Me:
howi
smybabydoi
ngt
oday
?
Her
:goodmommy
.
Me:cometakeofy
ourcl
othesl
et'
sgobat
h,we
gonnagoout.
Her
:yaymommy
.
Shej umpedoutofbedandIt ookofhercl othes.
Ibat hedher.Itwassof un.Wesangt oget her.
Shei mitatedeverythi
ngi di
dorsai d.Idressed
herinaf rozent i
ghtsandi t
smat chingtopand
bluesandal s.Iputar ibbononherl ongbl ack
hair.Wewentdownst air
sandwehadbr eakf ast
.
Iwentt otakemybagandwewentt othecar .I
noticedmymonst erinlaw'scarwasnoti nthe
yard.Iguessshel eft
.Goodr i
ddance.Idr ovet o
carnivalci
t y
.Iwasgonnahav efunwi thmybaby .

#Nel
i
sa

Icoul
dn'
ttakemymindofjohn.Imeanhewas
sorudet
omey est
erday
.Hebl untl
ytol
dmethat
hehadawi f
eandhedoesn'tl
ikecheapwoman
l
ikemewhot hr
ewt hemsel
vesathim.Usual l
yI
wouldtel
lhi
m wher etogetoffandletgobut
ther
ewassomet hi ngabouthim.Hel ookedli
ke
thekindofmant hatlovedforreal
.IfonlyI
coul
dgethimt of allf
orme.Buthow?Idi dn'
t
evenhavehisnumber .
 
Li
sa:
arey
oust
il
lthi
nki
ngaboutt
hatguy
?
Me:yesLi
saIam.Idon'
tknowbutIt
hinkIhav
e
f
all
enforhi
m.
Shel
ookedatmeandj
ustl
aughed.
Li
sa:
didy
ousni
ffbaki
ngpowderagai
n?
Me:geezagir
ldoesthatonceandpeopl
enev
er
f
orget
.Itol
dyouthatdeal
erscrewedmeover
.
Lisa:
wellthati
stheonlyexplanati
onforthe
wayy ouacti
ngnow.Firstt
hedudei smar ri
ed
andwebot hknowy ouarenott heshari
ngt y
pe.
Secondlyhehumili
atedyoulastnight
,call
ing
youcheap.Howmanymor ehi ntsdoyouneed?
Me:
Idon'
tcar
e,Il
ovehi
m andI
'
m gonnaget
hi
m.Hiswifebett
erwat
chout
.Hewi
l
lbe
di
vor
cinghersoon.
Li
sa:Andhowdoy oui
ntendtodothat?You
knownothi
ngabouthi
m, youdon'
tevenhav
e
hisnumber
.
Me:
justwai
tandsee.
Idon'
tknowhowI 'm gonnafindthi
sguybutI
hadtoo.IrememberedLisa'snei
ghbor.Hewas
atherpart
ylastni
ght.Maybesheknew
somethingabouthi
m.Iwasget t
ingreadyt
ogo
nextdoorwhenmyphoner ang.I
twasan
unsavednumber.
Me:
hel
l
o.
Cal
l
er:
hiam It
alki
ngt
oNel
i
sa?
Me:
yes,
whoi
sthi
s?
Cal
ler
:yeahi
tsCami
l
o,wemetl
astni
ghtat
Li
nda'
sparty
.
Me:
yeahIr
emember
ed,
sohowcanIhel
pyou?
Cam:Canwemeetf
orl
unchatPanar
ott
i'
s
Wonder
par
kMall
?Ihav
eapreposi
ti
onforyou.
Me:mesurewhynot
.I'
l
lbet
her
einandhour
andahal
f.
 
I
'
m gonnashowLi
sawhatIam madeof
f.

#Emi
l
y

Ihadsomuchf unwi thmydaught eratcar ni

val
cit
y.Wewentonr i
des.Wepl ayedsomear cade
games, wehadl unch.IwishIhadaur ora's
energy .Iwassot ir
edandshel ookedl i
keshe
wasj ustwar mingup.Imi ssedmyhubby
though, Iwishedhewasher e,wewoul dhav e
hadsomuchf un.WhenIsawf ami l
iesjust
l
aughi ngandhav i
ngf unmyhear tsank.Ican't
evenr emembert helastti
mej ohnandIl aughed
together.Thingswer ejustsot ensebetweenus.
Imustdosomet hing.Idrovehomewi tha
sleepingaurora.Apparent
lysheisnor obot
afterall
.IgothomeandIgoti nthehouse
holdingaurora.Thehousewasdar kapar tf
rom
candlesinthedi ni
ngroom.Johnappear edfrom
thekitchenani napron.Nowt hat
'safirst.
Me:
hmm ev
eni
nghubby
.
John:
himyl
ovehowar
eyou.
Hecameandki
ssedme.Het
ookAur
oraf
rom
me.
John:
hol
dthatt
houghtandIwi
l
lber
ightback.
Het ookAur oratotheroom andIsatdownon
thetable.Thet abl
esetti
ngwasbeaut i
fuland
romant i
c.Thi swasnotmyHubby '
susualscene.
Imeanhei sr omanti
cbutheusuallybuysme
j
ewel ryandt akesmeoutt odinner
.Henev er
cooks.Myhubbyi sjustsolazybutIl
ovehi m
though.Hecamedown, heissohandsome, he
j
ustt ookmybr eat
haway .Hepoured
champagneont woglassesandhandedmeone.
Me: Icangetusedt
othi
s,sowhat
'
sthe
occasion.
John:doIneedonet
otr
eaty
oul
i
ket
hequeen
thaty
ouare?
Me: no,
I'
mjustsur
pri
sedbecauset
hisi
snot
yourscene.
John:
stopovert
hinki
ngt
hingswomanandj
ust
l
etmespoily
ou.
Ir
aisedupmyhandsi
nsur
render
.
Me:
bri
ngi
tonbaby
. 
Hewenttotheki
tchenandbroughtt
hefood.
Pr
awnsinlemonsauce,Greeksal
adandrice.
 
Me: wowmyf
avor
it
e,babyy
ouhav
eoutdi
d
yoursel
f.
 
John:
onl
ythev
erybestf
ormyqueen.
Me:
thanky
ousomuchbaby
.
Hel
i
fteduphi
sgl
asst
omakeat
oast
.
John:
Iknowt
hatIhav
en'
tbeenshowi
ngy
oua
l
otofappr eci
at i
onorattent
ionespeci
all
ywith
gett
ingthef i
rm outofthegroundbutIreal
l
y
appreci
atethewomany ouare.Youar
emyr ock
andmymuse.Iwi l
lnotbewher eIam t
oday
wit
houty ou.Iloveyousomuch.Tous.
Me:
tous.
Therestoft heeveningwasjustsoamazing.
Weat ewhi l
elaughing.Ir
eal
l
ymi ssedt
hisside
ofmyhusband.Weendedbyhav ingmind
blowingsex.AsIlayonmyhusbandchest .I
thoughtthereisnothingmoreIcanaskforin
l
ife.
[
03/
04,
17:
20]Ron:
Att
hef
li
psi
deofkar
ma

I
nser
t38

#Nel
i
sa
Iprepar
edmy sel
ftogomeetthi
sCamiloguy.
It
sapi t
yI'
m noti
nter
est
edinhim.Iwonder
whathewant swit
hmethough. 
Me:Li
saI'
m goi
ngoutt
owonderpar
kmal
lsee
youl
ater
.
Li
sa:whyareyougoi
ngsof
ar?Ther
eisquagga
cent
rej
ustnearher
e.
Me:
I'
m goi
ngt
omeetsomeone.
Li
sa:
oh 
Me:
itsnotwhaty
out
hink.
Li
sa:
Iwasn'
tthi
nki
ngany
thi
ng.
Me:
ify
ousayso,
bye.
Icall
edamet ertaxi,
thereisnowayIwi l
ltake
taxi
.IhadtextedCami l
obef oreIlef
tandhe
saidhewillpaythedriverwhenIgett her
e.No
mat t
erhowhar dItrynottothinkaboutjohnI
j
ustcan't
.Hei sjustsocharmi ng.Thatsmilei
s
breatht
aking.Plushelooksl i
kehehasmoney
thati
sabonus.Igott owonderpar kmallandI
cal
ledCamil
o.Hedidn'tt
akelongtofi
ndme
andhepaidthedri
veracoupleofhundredsand
hedroveoff
.Wewal kedtopanar
otti
'
sandset
down.Weor der
ed.
Camil
o:Iguessy
ouawonder
ingwhyIcal
l
ed
youher
e.
Me:
Imi
ghthav
eani
dea.
Cami
l
o:andt
hati
s?
Me:
youwantapi
eceofme.
Helaughed,
hisl
aughwasi
rr
it
ati
ngandabi
t
hur
tful
.
Cami
lo:
don'
tfl
att
ery
our
sel
fhoney
,younotmy
ty
pe.
Me:
youdon'
thav
etoi
nsul
tme.
Ist
oodupabouttoleave.I'
m notaboutt
obe
i
nsult
edagai
n.Ihav
ef eeli
ngstoo.
Cami
l
o:si
tdownnow!
Hedi
dn'
tshoutbutt
her
ewascol
dnessi
nhi
s
v
oice.Isatdown.Thi
sguyi
sscar
y.
Camil
o:thankyou,nowbacktother
easonI
cal
l
edy ou.Inot
icedyest
erdayt
haty
oufancy
myfri
endjohn.
Hear
inghi
snamejustgav
emegoosebumps.
What'
shappeni
ngt
ome.
Me:
yesIdobutasyouwi
tnessedl
astni
ghtt
he
f
eel
i
ngisnotmutual
.
Cami
l
o:whati
fIsayIwi
l
lhel
pyou?
Me:
andwhati
sini
tfory
ou?Youknowhei
s
mar
ri
ed.
Cami
lo:
Ihavemyr easons,
him hav
ingawi
fe
di
dn'
tst
opyoulastnight
.
Me:I'
m notusual
l
ythatki
ndofwomanbutI
r
eall
yli
kehim.Heclear
lysai
dthathel
oveshi
s
wi
fe.
Camil
o:savethesoppyexpl
anati
onf
orhi
m not
me.Ij
ustfeel
t hathewasunf
airt
oyoul
ast
ni
ght.
Me:
sowhati
syourpl
an?
Il
i
stenedcar
eful
lyasheexpl
ainedt
hepl
an,
thi
s
mightj
ustwork.

#emi
l
y

Weekspassedbyandt hingswi thjohnwer ej ust

amazing.Hewoul dcomehomeear lyjustto
spendtimewi thus.Iwasenj oy i
ngev erysingle
minuteIspentwi thmyf amily.IthankGodt hat
ever
ythinghasf al
lenint oplace.Icameback
fr
om school andIstartedt opr epareani ce
di
nnerf ormyhusband.Todayi sourweddi ng
anni
versar yandIwant edt otreatmybabyt oa
ni
ceev ening.Hehasbeensuchawonder f
ul
husbandandIwantt oappr eciatehim.WhenI
wasdonecooki ngIwentt otakeal ongbat h.I
hadearliertakenaur orat ogrannyf ort heni ght
.
Sheisn'trudet omeorany thi
ngbutshewasn' t
herplayfulself.Theoldherwoul dhav egiven
met ipsonwhatt odot onight.I
tr eallyhurtme
becauseIl ov ehersomuch.Shewasal way sa
personIcoul dt alktoaboutany thing.May be
onedayshewi llseeherdaught erf orwhoshe
reall
yi s.Igotoutoft hebat handIputont he
newr edandbl ackl i
ngeriethatIboughtwi thred
superhi ghheel s.Ont opIputonaapr on.Isat
i
nt hel oungewai tingformyhusband, Iknow
thatheusual lycomeshomear oundf ive.I
mighthav efall
enasl eepbecauseIwokeupand
i
twasal ready8pm andmyhubbywasnot
homey etthatwassounl i
kehi m.Ical l
edhi m
buthisphonei sof f.Ipacedupanddownand
minut esl aterIhear dthedooropeni ng.Iwentt o
theloungeandhecamei nlookingal ldrai
ned. 
John:hmm Il
i
kewhatIsee.Icangetusedt
o
cominghometot
his.
Me:wheret
hehell
arey
oucomingf
rom?I
wai
tedfory
outhewhol
eday.
Forsomer
easonIwasj
ustf
umi
ng.
John:sorr
ybaby ,mymeet
ingranali
tt
lel
onger
thanexpected.Theni
ghti
ssti
l
l y
oungthough
sowecanst i
llmaket
hemostofit.
Me:ohImustjustbeagoodli
tt
lewi
feand
under
standev
erythi
nghuh?
 
John:t
hat'
snotwhatImeant
,whyyou
over
react
ingbaby
.Itwaswor
k,Ihav
etomake
money.
Me:nowy
out
hrowi
ngt
omyf
acet
hatIdon'
t
wor
k.
John:whatgoti
ntobaby
?Idon'
tknowy
oul
i
ke
thi
s.
Me: I'
m sickandtir
edofyoutr
eati
ngmel ikeI
'm
nothing.Thingsmustbedonetopleasethe
al
mi ghtyjohn.Todayi
souranniv
ersaryandyou
can'tevenhomet ospendti
mewi thme.
John:youmaki
ngabi
gdeal
outofnot
hingbaby
.
I
'm her
eam Inot
?
Me:
arey
oucheat
ingonmej
ohn?
John:
what
?
Me:youheardme.Ical
ledyourphoneandi t
wasoff
.Wher eyouwit
honeofy ourbi
tches?I
beti
tsthatsecr
etar
yofyour
sInev erl
i
kedher .
John:
mybat ter
yisdeadbaby,pl
easel
et'
sjust
havealovel
yeveni
ng.Ihadalongday,
Idon't
needtocomehomet oy ounaggi
ng.
Me:
ohsoI
'
m anaggi
ngwi
fenow.
John:
ift
heshoef
it
s.
Isl
appedhim.Ir egret
teditt
hemomenti t
happened.Hel ef
tveryangry.Ikeptcall
i
ngfor
him buthejustwalkedawayanddi dn'tl
ook
back.IsatonthecouchandIcr i
ed.What
happenedtome.I tsalmostlikeIwas
possessed.

#Nel
i
sa
Iwassi tt
ingathomewat chingamov iewi thmy
fri
ends.Mymeet i
ngwi thcami l
owentwel l butI
wonder edwhyhewoul ddot hattohi sfri
end.I t
s
notlikeI '
m compl ai
ning,Ireallywantj ohnbutI
can'tshaket hisfeeli
ngthatIcan' ttrustcami l
o.
Heev enwentasf arastopr omi sememoneyi f
Imanaget odest royhisfri
end' smar ri
age.
May behei soneoft hoseguy swhoi si nlov e
withhi sfriend'swi f
e.That'stheonl y
explanat i
onIcoul dcomeupwi t
h.Iwant edt o
confideonmyf r
iendsandseewhatt heyt hink
butIcoul dn' tbecauseIknowt hattheywi ll
j
udgeme.Li saalreadytoldmet hatIshoul d
l
eav ej ohnal one.Myphoner angandi twas
cami l
ocal l
ing.Istoodupandwentt oansweri n
theroom.
Me:
Idi
dn'
tthi
nkI
'
dhearf
rom y
out
hissoon.
Cam:Idon'tpl
ayar
oundmydear
,youwi
l
lsoon
knowthataboutme.
Me:
sowhat
'sup?
 
Cam: hei
swit
hmei ncubanasunnyside.Heis
al
readydr
unk.Soy
ourwor ki
snotgoingt obe
hard.
Me:
I'
m onmyway
.
Igotmy sel
freadyandIwentt
osaygoodby
eto
myf r
iends.
Li
sa:
wher
ear
eyouof
ftodr
essedl
i
ket
hat
 
Me:ify
oumustknowIgoi
ngt
omeetmynew
guy
.
Li
sa:good,
atl
easty
ouwi
l
lfor
getaboutt
hat
marr
iedman. 
Me:
alr
eadyf
orgot
ten.
Li
sa:wonder
ful
,i
tsfory
ourowngood.Dat
inga
marr
iedmanneverendswel
l.
Whodoesshet hinkshei sacti
ngallholi
erthen
thou.Whenjohn'
smot hergav ebi
rt
ht ohim she
didn'
tsayhebelongstoonewomanonl y.
Mar r
iagei
snotanobst acleforme.Ialwaysget
whatIwant.
#j
ohn

Iwokeupwi that erri

bleheadache.Theev ents
oflastnightplayedi nmyhead.Idon' tknow
whathappenedt omywi f
e.Cheat
ingonheri s
thelastthi
ngonmymi nd.Iwil
lnevergodown
thatroadev eragainaf t
erwhathappenedwi t
h
Leah.Whywassher eacti
ngli
kethat.Ilooked
aroundandIwasi nahot elr
oom.Howdi dI
evengether e.AllIrememberi smeet ingcami lo
upatcubanat otellhim aboutmypr oblems.As
Iwast ry
ingsohar dtot hi
nk.Awomanwear i
ng
nothingbutmyshi rtcameoutoft hebat hroom.
Ohnol ordIdi dn'
t.
[
03/
04,
17:
20]Ron:
Att
hef
li
psi
deofkar
ma

I
nser
t39
#Nel
i
sa

Itookj ohnt oahot eltot ryandseducehi m but

allhecoul dt alkaboutwashi swife.Howhe
l
ov esher .Ididal l
Icoul dbuttheguyj ustdidn't
budge.May beCami lowasr i
ght,shedi duse
blackmagi conhi m.Iknowal otofmenwho
l
ov etheirwi vesbutt hisonei sjusttoomuch.
Hislov eisnotnor mal atall
.Nomat terwhatI
didIcoul dn'ttur nhim on.May beitstheal cohol.
Idecidedt ost ri
phi m nakedandmakei tseem
l
ikewehadsex.Iwokeupear lyjusttoadmi r
e
him sleeping.Thi sisreallyamast erpiece.Ifel
t
goosebumpsj ustlookingathi m, Iwonderhow
i
tf eel
st obel ov edbyhi m andt obet ouchedby
him.Iwentt ot hebathr oom tofreshenup.I
camebackandhewasawake.
Me:
hisl
eepyhead.
John:
pleaset
ell
mewedi
dn'
t.
Me:
whyy
eswedi
dandy
ouwer
eamazi
ng.
John:
nopl
easeno.
Hel
ookedatmedi
sgust
edandi
treal
l
yhur
tme
al
ot.
Me:
itsOKbaby
,webot
hadul
ts.
John:Ihaveawif
ethatIl
ovev
erymuch,
I'
m not
abouttoleav
eher.
Me:Iunder
stand,
I'
m abi
ggi
rl
.Idon'
tmi
nd
shar
ing.
John:
mydearyoushoul
dval
ueyour
sel
f.Don'
t
youwantt
ogetmarri
edandr
aiseaf
amily
?
Me:Idobutsomeofusar
enotsol
ucky
.Iwi
l
l
t
akewhatIcanget
.
John:
thi
swasami
stake,
for
getabouti
t.
Me:
Ican'
tfor
getabouti
t.Il
ovey
ou.
John:li
stenher
e,I'
m notintocheapwoman.
EvenifIwantedtocheatonmywi f
e,whi
chI
don'
t.Itwil
lnev
erbewi t
hy ou.
Me:
youdon'
thav
etobesomean.
John:meanist
heonl
ylanguagey
ouhoes
under
stand 
Me:
I'
m notahoe.
Helaughed.Hi
slaughpi
ercedt
hroughmy
hear
t. 
John:yousayyounotahoe,
yetyoupi
ckupa
marri
edmanf r
om abarandhavesexwit
hhi
m.
Ididn'
thav eanyt
hingtosay .Thismanisreall
y
rude.Hewenti nt
obat hroom.Icouldn'
thelpbut
admi r
ehismuscul arbody.HowIwi shtorunmy
handsont hatskin.I
tsnotfairhowonewoman
willbegreedyenought okeept hi
sman.She
mustshar e.Hecameoutoft hebathroom and
gotdressedup. 
John:
Idon'
tev
erwantt
oseey
ouagai
n. 
Me:pleasedon'
tgo.Icangi
vey
ouwhatshe
doesn'
t.
John:don'
tyouevert
alkaboutmywif
e.Youwi
l
l
neverbehal
fofthewomanshei s.
Hewalkedoutwi
thoutevenlookingback.Isat
onthebedandcri
ed.Thisguyr eal
lycrashed
myselfest
eem.JustbecauseIwentaf t
erhim
doesn'
tmeanIdon'thav
efeelings.AllIneedis
l
ove.Evenint
hebiblewomanusedt oshar ea
man.Whatmakesherspecial.I'
m goingto
showthiswomanflames.

#Emi
l
y

Icri
edsohar d.Whatcameov erme?I 'm usuall
y
notthet ypethatget sangr yl
iket hat.Theev ent
ofslappingmyhusbandpl ay
edov erandov er
againinmymi nd.Idon'tunder standwhatcame
overme.Ij usthopet hatj ohnwi l
l beableto
for
giv eme.It ookabot t
leofwi neandIdr ankit
all
.Ineededsomewayt onumbt hepainand
shameIf el
t.I'
m notr eal
lyadr inkerbutIjust
hadt o.Imusthav efall
enasl eepsomewher e
betweent hedr inki
ngandcr yi
ng.Iwokeupt o
someonestr
okingmyhair
.Iwasst i
ll
lyi
ngon
thefl
oorwi
thlastni
ght
'
soutfi
t.Iopenedmy
eyesbutmyheadwassoheav y.
 
Me:babyI'
m sosor
rypl
easefor
giv
eme.Ihad
nor
ighttol
aymyhandony ou.
John:shhmyqueeni t
sok,If
orgiv
ey ou.I'
m
al
sosor r
y.Ishoul
dn'
thav
eleftl
ikethat.Ishoul
d
stopwalki
ngaway  
Me:
yeahy
oushoul
d.
Hesmi l
ed.Itri
edt osmi lebackbutallIfel
twas
pain.Hel oweredhi sfacet omineandhegav e
meawetpassi onatekiss.Ifeltal
lmyi nsi
des
mel t
ing.Itwasav erystrangefeel
ing.Ipul
led
outandbef or
eIknewi t.Ithr
ewupal loverhi
m.
Icouldn'tkeepitin.
John:
Iseesomeonehasr
aidedt
hebar
.
Me:
I'
m sor
rybaby
.
John:
itsOK.Gofr
eshenup,
Iwi
l
lcl
eanupher
e
andIwil
lj
oinyou.
Me:
whathav
eIdonet
odeser
veamanl
i
key
ou.
John:
youhav
ejustbeeny
ourwonder
ful
sel
f.
Me:
Ilov
eyousomuch.
John:
Ilov
eyoumor
e.
Me:
Ilov
eyoumost
.
Iwalkedupst
air
sandItookashower .Idr
ied
myselfandIgoti
ntothecoversnaked.The
momentmyheadhi tthepil
l
ow, Iwentt ol
ala
l
and.Ifel
tmoreatpeace.Ithi
nkthingsare
abouttocomearound.

#Nel
i
sa

Igotbacktomycousi n'
splaceandmyey es
wereallr
ed.Im usual
lynotsoemot i
onalbut
thi
sguygott ome.Ihadmyearphone' sonand
Iwaslist
eni
ngt oseli
nagomes" heartwants
whatitwants"Ifel
tli
keshewassi ngingdir
ect
ly
atme.
Me:
mor
ning.
Li
sa:
mor
ning.
Shesoundedabi
tcol
d.
Me:
what
'
sup.
Lisa:not
hingapar
tfr
om thef
actthaty
oudi
dn'
t
tellmethatyouar
esleepi
ngout
.
Me:
sor
ry,
I'
ll
dot
hatnextt
imemom.
Lisa:I
'
m seri
ous.Igety
ouar eol
denoughbut
whileyouarehereyouareundermy
responsi
bil
i
ty.
 
Me:
Iunder
standIdon'
tneeda.
..
Befor
eIcouldf
ini
shmyphoner
ang.I
twasan
unsavednumber.
Me:
hal
l
o.
Cal
l
er:
hal
l
othi
sisJohn.
Me:
howmayIhel
pyou?
John:
I'
m sor
ryabouthowIt
reat
edy
oubef
ore.
 
Me:
itst
hatal
l
?
I
'mver
ysurpr
isedt
hathecal
l
ed.TobehonestI
waspl
anni
ngtocall
camil
ototel
lhi
mthedeal
i
soff
.
John:
hmm no.CanIt
akey
ououtt
odi
nner
tomor
row?
Me:
sur
ewhat
ever
.
John:
OKI
'
llcal
lyout
omor
rowby
e.
Me:
bye.
Hedroppedt
hecal
l
.Ist
art
edj
umpi
ngupand
down.
[
03/
04,
17:
20]Ron:
Att
hef
li
psi
deofkar
ma

I
nser
t40

#Emi
l
y
Myhusbandi sj
ustwonderf
ulItel
lyou.Iwi sh
thatal
lwomencanf indamanlikehim.Iwoke
uptoredrosesallar
oundandthesmel loff
goodfood.Hehadaat r
ayofhotwings,just
whatIneeded.Isetup.
John:
didIt
ell
youhowbeaut
if
uly
ouar
e?
Me:
notl
atel
y.
John:
youar
ever
ybeaut
if
ulmyqueen.
Me:
thanky
ou.Youar
enotsobady
our
sel
f.
John:
hmm i
sthaty
ouri
deaofacompl
i
ment
?
Me:
sor
rymysmoki
nghothusband.
John:
hmm t
hat
'smor
eli
kei
t.
Me:yeahyouareal
way
sfi
shi
ngf
or
complement
s. 
Hesuddenl
ywentonser
ious.
John:
babyIwantt
otal
ktoy
ouabout
somethi
ng.
Me:
goaheadl
ove.
John:
Iwantanot
herchi
l
d.
Ial
mostchokedonmywi
ngs.
Me:babywehav eauror
a,sheisonlytur
ning
twosoon.I
'
m notdonewi t
hschool pl
usiwant
tostar
tworkingassoonasI'
m done.Iwanna
bui
ldmycar eermaybei
n3y earsorso.
John:babyy
oudon'
tneedt
owor
k,I
'
m capabl
e
oftaki
ngcar
eofmyfamil
y.
Me: IknowbabyandI'
m morethangrat
efulf
or
howy outakecar
eofusbutIjustwanttodo
thi
s.Itsmydream.Iworkedsohardf
orit.
John:
OKbutwi
l
lyouatl
eastt
hinkabouti
t?
Me:
OKbabyIwi
l
l.
Hekissedmeallovermyf
aceli
keachil
d.I
coul
dn'thel
pbutl
augh.Mybabyi
scrazy
.He
ki
ssedmyt ummy .
John:
babyj
uni
orwi
l
lbel
i
vingi
nther
esoon.
Me:
babyIdi
dn'
tev
ensayy
esy
et.
John:
IknowI
'
mjustbei
ngposi
ti
ve.I
tdoesn'
t
ki
ll
.
Me:
Youar
eacr
azyman.
John:
I'
myourcr
azyman.
Imustreal
l
ywat chthismanbecausetheonl
y
cont
racept
ionweusi ngnowiscondoms.I
madeament alnottomy sel
ftogogetashotor
somethi
ng.Hekissedmesogent l
eandy ou
knowwhathappenednext .

#Nel
i
sa

SincejohnsentmeaSMSofwher eIwast o
meethi m, Iwassoexci t
edIcouldn'
tevensleep.
Ikeptthinkingwhatchangedhismi nd,Iwas
reall
ylosinghope.Idon'tknowwhyI '
mr eall
y
attr
actedt ojohn.Iusual
lydon'
tcatchfeel
ings.
I'
m anescor tandIsleepwi t
halotofmar ri
ed
menf ormoney .Itargettheri
chandf amousbut
Ihaveneverfeltthisforanyotherguy .Ihave
datedsomanyguy sbutnothi
ngIev erfel
tcan
becompar edtot hewayIf eelforjohn.We
haven'
tevenhadasexy etandI '
m already
planni
ngaweddi ngwi t
hhim.Iwasl yi
ngonmy
bedjustt
hinkingwhenmyphoner ang.
Me:
hisweetcami
l
o.
Cami
l
o:what
smaki
ngy
ouhappyorr
atherwho?
Me:
Guess.
Camilo:wowhefell
alr
eadydamnthatwas
fast
erthanIcoul
deverimagi
ne.
Me:Iknow,
Iwasr
eal
l
ylosi
nghopeaft
ert
he
wayhespoket
omeinthemor
ning.
Cami
l
o:Inev
erf
ail
mydear
.Godi
sonoursi
de.
Me:
thatwomani
swickedt
ousebl
ackmagi
c
f
oramantomarr
yher.
Cami
lo:Iknowpeopl
earejustdesper
atebutI
di
dn'
tcallt
otal
kabouther
.
Me:
sowhat
'supt
hen.
Camil
o:youneedtobl
owjohn'
smindwhenhe
seesyou.He'
swif
eisver
yfashi
onabl
e,soy
ou
mustoutdoher.
Me:
thati
snotgoi
ngt
obeapr
obl
em.
Camilo:wheny
ouhavemei t
snot
.Sendme
yourbanki
ngdetai
l
sI'
l
lsendyoumoneyt
oshop.
Me:
nopr
obl
em.HangupandIwi
l
ldoi
tnow.
Cami
l
o:cool
bye.
Itookmybankcar dandIt extedcami l
omy
detai
ls.Iwenttot akeashower .WhenIgot
backt otheroom Ihadat ext.What ?Hell
no.
Camilohadt ransfered30kj ustformet ogo
shopping,Ican'tbelievethi
s.Iclosedmyey es
andopenedi tagai n.Itwastrue.Iappli
edlot
ion
onmybodyandandgotdr essedandIr an
downst ai
rswher eIf oundLisawat chi
ngTV.
Me:
getupgi
rl
,wegoi
ngshoppi
ng.
Li
sa:
wher
edi
dyougetmoney
?
Me:mydearIwor
k,i
fyouf
orgott
oday
'st
he
15t
h.
Li
sa:
youdon'
thav
etoaskmet
wice.
Sheranupstair
stogetdr essed.Wetooka
metertaxit
othemall.Fir
stweshoppedf or
cl
othes,shoesandli
ngeries.Itwassofun,we
gotti
redofshopingt
henwewentt oocean
basketforl
unch.Weor dered.
Li
sa:wher
edidy
ougetallthi
smoneyyouare
spendi
ngNel
?Allt
hist
hingswegotwas10000.
Me:whyyouworki
ngyour
sel
fup?Igetagood
sal
aryasanur
seandIdohavesavi
ngs.Ij
ust
wanaspoi
lmyself
.
Li
sa:
ify
ousaysodear
.
Me:
CanIasky
ouaquest
ion?
Li
sa:
yes.
Me:whatwouldy oudoi
fyouknowawoman
usedblackmagicforamantomarryherand
youareaskedtosavehi
m bydati
nghim and
br
eakt
hespel
l
?
Li
sa:Iwil
ltel
lthepeopl
et ot
aketheguyto
chur
ch,Idoubtdati
nghim wil
lchangeany
thi
ng.
Hewill
needt obedeli
veredandI'
m notapast
or.
Me:
hmm OK.
Li
sa:
whyar
eyouaski
ng?
Me:
not
hingj
ustmaki
ngconv
ersat
ion.
Li
sa:maki
ngconv
ersat
ionist
alki
ngaboutthe
weat
herorZumanotdest
royi
ngamar r
iage.
Me:
justdr
opi
t,l
et'
stal
kaboutsomet
hingel
se.
Shel
ookedatmel
i
keshewast
ryi
ngt
osear
ch
mysoul
.
Li
sa:
arey
ousl
eepi
ngwi
thamar
ri
edman?
Me:
noI
'
m not
.
Li
sa: f
oryoursakeIhopey ouaret
ell
i
ngt he
tr
uthbecausey oucannotbuil
dhappi
nesson
anotherwoman' st
ears.Marr
iagei
ssacredand
adul
teryisaveryseri
oussin.
Me:
I'
m noti
nthemoodf
ory
ourser
mon.
Goodt hingshetookt hehi ntandchangedt he
subject .Ourfoodar r
ivedandweat ewhi le
chatti
ngandl aughing.Lat eronwewentt oa
sparf ormani cur
es, pedicur es,facialsand
massages.Apar tofmekeptt hinkingabout
whatLi sasaid.I'
m notbr eakingamar ri
age.I '
m
savinghi m.Imeant heladyusedwi tchcr afton
him sohewasnotmeantt obeherhusband.
LastlyIwentt odomyhai r,Iputon16i nch
Peruvianhai r
.Ihadmymakeupdone.Il ooked
hot.I'
m sur ejohn'seyesar egonnapopout
whenheseesme.Whatwasl eftwasf ormet o
dressupandIam goodt ogo.I '
m supposet o
meethi m at8pm butI '
m gonnabef ashionably
l
ate.Wewer einamet ertaxi goi nghome.  
Li
sa:
y oucan'
tstopsmi
l
ingandt
hismakeov
er
whoisthi
sfor?
Me:
Ihav
eahotdat
etoni
ght
.
Li
sa:
hemustbepr
ett
yspeci
ali
fyougoi
ng
t
hroughal
lthi
str
oubl
e.
Me:
her
eal
l
yis.
WegothomeandIdr essedinar edl
ongdr
ess
thati
sopenatt hebackwi thblackbl
ockhi
l
ls.I
styl
edmyPer uvianherandmymakeupwas
sti
lli
ntact.Iwenttothel oungetowaitf
ort
he
taxit
opi ckmeup.  
Li
sa:wowthi
sguyisgonnahav
eahear
tat
tack
whenheseesyou.
Me:t
hat'
sthewhol
epoi
nt.Thet
axi
isher
e.
Don'
twai
tup.
Li
sa:
hav
efun.
Igotout,wewer egonnahav edinnerinafancy
It
ali
anrestaur
ant.SoIhadt olookthepart.Igot
totherestaur
antandIdidn'tevenhavetoask
becauseIcouldseehim sippingonchampagne.
Hewassogor geous.Ial
mostdi edjustt
here.
[
03/
05,
08:
32]Ron:
Att
hef
li
psi
deofkar
ma

I
nser
t41

#Nel
i
sa

Icatwalkedt ohim, hel

ookedy ummy .Icouldn'
t
reall
ybelievemyluck.Itoldmy selfnottogetso
excit
edbecauseI 'm notsurewhathewant s.As
Iapproachedhi m,hestoodup.Heki ssedbot h
mycheeksandpul ledthechairformet osit
.
Owsuchagent l
eman.Hi swif
emustj ust
forgi
veme, t
hereisnowayIwi llletthi
s
opportunitypassmeby .Weor der edourfood
andwai ted.
John:
youl
ookv
erybeaut
if
ul,
Iwassosur
pri
sed.
Me:
soIwasugl
ybef
ore.
John:
I..
Idi
dn'
tmeani
tli
ket
hat
.
Me:rel
axI'
mjustj
oki
ng.Youl
ookv
ery
handsomeaswell
.
John:
thanky
ou.Sot
ell
meabouty
our
sel
f.
Me:wel
lI'
mfrom saldanha,
Icameheretov i
sit
mycousi
n.I'
m anursebyprofessi
on.I
'
mt he
l
astbor
nofthreeki
ds.I'mveryemoti
onalandI
l
ovehavi
ngagoodt i
me.Wel lthat
'
smei na
nut
shel
l.
John:
hmm wow.
Me:
sowhatabouty
ou?
John:t
here'
snothi
ngreal
l
yint
erest
ingabout
me.I'
m alawyerIownafi
rm wi
thmyf r
iend.I
'
m
anonlychil
d.
Me:
ohIsee.Whatdoy
oudof
orf
un?
John:
Imainl
ygogol
fing,
bowl
i
ngandspend
ti
mewi t
hmyfami
ly.
Me:
your
eal
l
ybor
ing.
John:
ja,
I'
m noti
ntot
hiscl
ubbi
ngst
uff
.It
sfor
ki
ds.
Me:
Iknowr
ight
?Ir
atherhav
equi
etev
eni
ngs.
Il
i
ed,
Ihar
dlyev
ensi
ttowat
chamov
ie.
John:don'tgetmewrong,
Ihavemyoccasional
boysnightbutwenotaswildasbef
ore.Iused
tobeahandf ulr
eal
l
y.
Helaughedpr
obabl
ythi
nki
ngoft
hecr
azyst
uff
hehasdone.
Me:Ihadmyshareofcr
azybutI
'm notabout
t
hatli
feany
more.Ij
ustwannadown.
John:sowhyhav
en'
tyou?Imeany
ouar
ea
beaut
iful
woman.
Me:Iguess,
I'
vej
usthaven'
tbeenl
uckywith
men.Allt
hegoodguysareeit
hermarr
iedorgay
.
Thewai t
ersavedhi
m, bri
ngingourfood.Icould
tel
lthathewasabituncomf ort
able.West ar
ted
eati
ng.Thefoodwasamazi ng,sinceIhave
neverbeeninarestaur
antli
kethisbefore.John
orderedforme.Iwasreall
yenjoyinghi
s
company .Wetal
kedforalongt i
me.Af t
erafew
glassesofwine,
heloosenedupandboywashe
funny.IcametoapointthatIcouldn'
teven
breathbecauseofl
aughing.
 
John:OKnowwhatisthemostcr
aziestt
hing
thathappenedt
oyouwhenyouweredrunk.
Me:
Iwokeuponapar
kbench.
John:
oht
hat
'snotsobad.
Me:
wai
tfori
t.
..
inanot
hercount
ry.
John:
noy
oudi
dn'
t.
Me:yesIdidandwor
stpar
tIdi
dn'
thav
emy
documentsonme.
John:
howdi
dgethome?
Me:Iwenttohandmysel
finatt
heaut
hor
it
ies
andtheydepor
tedmeback.
John:
andIt
houghtIwaswi
l
d.
Helaughed,
hehadthemostbeaut
if
ull
augh.I
f
eltalumpinmythr
oatandbutt
erf
li
esi
nmy
tummy .Igotitbadforthisman.Wehaddeser t
,
weshar edachocolatemousse, i
twasmor eli
ke
Iatetwoteaspoonsf r
om hischocol at
e
mousse.Hepai dthebi l
landwel eft.Hedr ov
e
met ohome, Iwasr eal
lydisappoint
edbecauseI
thoughtwewi ll
spendt henighttogether.He
stoppedatLisa'sgate.
John:
Ihadagr
eatni
ght
.
Me:
met
oo,
Iwoul
dlov
etodot
hisagai
n.
John:
I'
mreal
l
ynotsur
eit
sagoodi
dea.
 
Il
ookeddeepi nt ohiseyes,Iinhaledhi
sscent .
Hesmel ledsogood.Icoul dn'thelpmy self,
I
ki
ssedhi m.Hehesi tat
edf oraboutasecond
andt henheki ssedmeback.I twasn'tthat
gentlekiss,i
twasf i
ll
edwi thhunger.Things
mov edsof astandwewer ealreadyatt heback
seatandmydr esswasupandmypant ywas
out.Heunbuckl edhispantswhi lesti
ll
ki ssi
ng
me.Icoul dn'tthink,
hisli
psf eltsogood.Iwas
sowet .Het ookouthi smanhoodandi twas
glorious.Heposi ti
onedhimsel fi
nbetweenmy
l
egs.Imour ned.Hemov edi nandout.The
pleasur ewasj usttoomuch.Thi smanknewhi s
things.If el
tmybodyexpl odeandnotlongaft
er
heal socame.Hequi cklypulledoutandsome
ofhi sjuicesspill
edall
ov erme.Hel ookedat
medi sgusted.
John:
I'
m sor
ry,
thatwasami
stake.
 
Me:
ItsOK.Webot
hadul
ts.Nohar
dfeel
i
ngs.
Ismi
l
ed.It
ri
edsohar
dtohi
demypai
n.
John:
Ihav
etogo.
 
Heopenedt hecarbackdoor ,hegotout .He
fi
xedhimselfandthengoti nthedr i
v er
sseat.
Hegav emewi pes,Icl
eanedmy selfandIgot
outofthecar.Ipul
ldownmydr ess.WhenI
l
ookeduphewasdr i
vi
ngaway .Hedi dn'
teven
saygoodbye.Igotinthehouseandi twasall
quiet
.Iwenttomyr oom.Ist r
ippednakedandI
gotinbed.Withmyf il
thandall.Icried.Howcan
Ibesocheap.Hedi dn'tevenvaluemeenough
t
otakemet
oahot
el.Icr
iedmy
sel
ftosl
eep.

#Emi
l
y

Ihaddi nnerwi t
hmybabygi r
l.Shewasgoi ngon
andon.Idi dn'tunderstandhal foft het hi
ngs
shewassay i
ngbecauseshest il
lcouldn't
pronouncewor dswell.Imadeoutt hatshewas
talki
ngaboutwhatpr incessSof i
adi dinher
car t
oon.Itwasabsol utelyherf avorit
e.Af ter
dinner,Iwashedt hedi shes.Ididn'tleav efood
forhubbybecausehet oldhewi l
lhav edi nner
withoneofhi scl i
entsandt henhav esome
drinkswi t
hCami lo.SoIwon' tev enbot her
wai t
ingup.Myhusbanddoesn' tgooutt hat
oftenandwhenhedoesIdomybestt ogi ve
him hisspace.Thel astt hi
ngIwanti st o
suf f
ocatehim.Iwentt obathmybabyandI
dressedheri nherpr i
ncessSophi apy jamas, my
daught erwasobsessedwi t
ht hatcar t
oon
character.Ev enherbedr oom wasdecor ated
withapr i
ncessSophi at heme.Ir eadmy
daught erast ory,Iwasabi tnauseated.I
real
isedt hatI '
vebeenf eelingli
ket hatalot
l
ately,especi al
lyaftereating.Ijusthopeitsnot
whatIt hinki ti
s.Imadeament alnotetogoto
thedoct or.Ikissedmybabygoodni ght
.Iwent
tomybedr oom.Ideci dedt otakeashower
beforest udying.Istri
ppednakedandIent er
ed
theshower .Iwasenj oyingt hewar m water
whenIf elthandsar oundmywai st.
Me:
hmm baby
.
John:
shhh.
Het urnedmear oundandki ssedme, ohmythe
kisswasbr eat htaking.Hekissedmesosl ow
l
ikehewant edt ot ort
ureme.Hi skissesar
e
usuall
ymagi cal butthisonewasoutoft hi
s
wor l
d.Itwasl i
kehewassear chingmysoul.I
wassot ur
nedon.Iwr appedmyl egsar
oundhi
s
waistasheent eredme.Hepi nnedmeagainst
thewall.Helookeddeepintomyey esandhe
star
tedt omoveinandoutofmesupersl ow.As
hemov edhedi dn'
tbreakeyecontact
.Icoul
d
seepleasureandloveinhiseyes,
asIwas
abouttocomehepul ledout. 
Me:
babyno.
John:
Iwantt
omakelovet
oyouslowl
ybaby
.I
wantyout
ofeel
whatyoumeant
ome.
Heent
eredmeagai
n.Thr
ust
ingi
nthesame
sl
owpace.
John:
Ilov
eyoubaby
Me:
Ilov
eyout
oo.
John:youar emyQueen...
myli
fe.
..
.Ohbabyy
ou
feelsoamazi ng.
..
.Youmakemel osemy
mind..
..
thereisnootherwomanIcansee
my sel
fwith.
..ohbabyhowdoesitfeel
.
Thepl
easur
ewassoi nt
ense,Icouldnotspeak.
Wit
heveryt
hrusthewhi
speredsweetnothings
i
ntomyhears.Fort
hepasttwoy ear
sweal ways
havegreatsexbutIneverf
eltwhatIfel
tnow.
I
tsalmostliket
hewor dsemphasizedthe
thr
usts.
 
John:
myloveIwantt
ocomeinsi
deofy
ou,
I
wanttof
il
lyouwi
thmyseed.
Iwassl owlyl
osingmysani t
y.NowIunder stand
thephrasescrewy ourbr ainsout.Thatiswhat
hewasdoi ngtome.Idi dn'tcareaboutany t
hing
else.Justmyrelease.Ifeltmycl imaxbui ldi
ng
upl i
keanearthquake.Mybodyexpl odedandI
shook.OhmyandIf el
tmyhusbandt ightenhis
griponme.Heexpl odedt oo.Thiswast hebest
weev erhad.Het henwashedmeandhi mself.
Wegotoutoft heshowerandwedr iedour
bodiesonly.Wegoti ntobedt oget
herandwe
cuddled. 
Me:babey
ouknowIwassupposet
ost
udy
t
oday.
John:
don'
twor
rybaby
,youwi
l
ltomor
row.
Me:
yeahnehi
tscool
.Myhubbyi
smor
e
i
mpor
tant
.
John:
yougott
hatr
ight
.
Me:weren'
tyousupposedt
ohav
edr
inkswi
th
cami
lo.
John:y
eahIdeci
dedagai
nsti
t,Iwant
edt
o
spendti
mewithmyqueen.
Me:
ohhowy
ouf
lat
terme,
Ijustl
ovei
t.
John:
whydowehur
ttheoneswel
ove?
Hesaidmoreli
keawhisperbutIheardhi
m.We
wereinaspooni
ngposi
ti
on,soIturnedar
ound
tolookathi
m.Hehadsomuchemot ioni
nhi
s
eyes.
Me:
what
'
swr
ongmyl
ove.
John:not
hingl
ove,
I'
mj ustt
hinki
ngaboutthe
pastandthepai
nIcausedyou.Ialmostl
ost
youbecauseofawoman.
Me:i
tst
hepastbaby,
Ifor
gaveyoualr
eadypl
us
i
twasnotal
lyourf
aul
t.Don'
tbeaty
oursel
fup
abouti
t.
John:whatev erhappensal
way
sknowt hatI
l
ovey ouwi t
hallofmeandIwouldnev
erhurt
youintent
ionall
y.
Me:
youscar
ingmebaby
.
John:
don'
twor
ryI
'
mj ustbei
ngemot
ional
,your
l
ovegotmegoi
ngcrazy.
 
Heki
ssedmebutIcouldn'tshaket
hefeel
i
ng
t
hatsomet
hingwasn'
trightwithmyhubby.

Pleaseguy s,
li
kecomment,share.I
fyoudon'
t
commenty ourvi
ews,I
'mforcedtobeli
evet
hat
thest or
yisbori
ng.Youguyshaveaawesome
night.3inser
tstomorr
ow.Youguy sknowthe
dril
l
.
[
03/
05,
08:
54]Ron:
kar
ma

I
nser
t42
#Emi
l
y

Iwokeupal onei nbed, Ilookedatt het i

mei t
wasal mostnine.Ican' tbelievethatIsl epttil
l
thi
slate.Whydi dn'tJohnwakemeupbef orehe
l
eftforwork.Heknowst hatIhat eitwhent he
nannymakeshi m br eakfast .Iwentt oaur ora'
s
room andshewasnoti nt here,Ihear dlaughter
downst ai
rs.IwentdownandIf oundt hemost
beautif
ulsi
ght.Fat heranddaught ercurledup
onthecouchwat chingSophi athef ir
st.Aurora
wasbusyexpl ainingandt ell
ingherf atherthe
nameoft hechar acters.Ist oodt hereadmi ri
ng
theview.Iam sobl essedr eall
y.
 
Me:
goodmor
ningf
ami
l
y.
Theyturnedanl ookedatme.Inoti
cedjohnwas
dressedcasuall
y ,
Iguessheisnotgoingto
workandaur orawasdr essedi
napur pl
eshort
s
witharedshirtandmor ningsl
i
ppers.Idi
dn'
t
havetoaskIknewhedressedherup.Iwanted
tolaugh.Mymanknowsnot hi
ngaboutfashi
on
Itel
lyou.Ihav
etobuyal
lhisclot
hes.
 
Aur
ora:
mor
ningmommy
,comewat
ch.
John:
yeahmommycomewat
ch.
 
IsatdownonthecouchandIgavet
hem botha
ki
ss.Wewatchedunti
ltheepi
sodewasf
inished.
Me:I
'm st
arv
ingwhatdi
dyouguy
shav
efor
br
eakfast
?
John:weatecer
eal
,
wewai
ti
ngf
ory
out
omake
breakf
ast
.
Me:
whydi
dn'
tyouwakemeup?
John:youweresl
eepi
ngsopeacef
ull
yandI
di
dn'twantt
odist
urbyou.
Me:it
sy ourf
aul
tI'
mthi
shungr
y.Wher
e'st
he
nanny?Shecanmakesomethi
ng.
John:
Igav
ehert
hemont
hof
f.
Me:
youdi
dwhat
?Whywoul
dyoudot
hat
?
John:
aren'
tyouwr
it
ingy
ourl
astpapert
oday
?
Me:yesat1o'cl
ockbutIdon'
tseewhythathas
anyt
hingtodowiththenanny
?Youknowt hi
s
houseishugeIcan'
tmanageital
one.
John:
Idon'
texpecty
outo.Becausewel
eavi
ng
tomor
rowtotheBahamasforamonthvacat
ion.
Me:
what
?
John:
youheardme,It
ookleav
e.I
'
mtaki
ngy
ou
andourpr
incesst
oavacat
ion.
 
Ihuggedhi
m sot
ight
,hechuckl
ed.
John:
babey
oust
rangl
i
ngme.
Il
aughed.
Me:yeahr
ightasi
fat
inyper
sonl
i
kemecan
st
rangl
eyou.
John:
younotsot
inyanymor
e.
Isul
ked.
Me:
arey
ousay
ingI
'
mfat
?
John:
I'
m say
ingy
ouar
ebeaut
if
ul.
Het
ri
edki
ssi
ngmeandIj
usti
gnor
edhi
m.
John:don'
tsul
kbaby
,Iwi
l
ltakey
ououtf
or
breakf
ast.
Iwentupstairstogetready.Hesaidwewi l
lbe
goingtothedoctorbeforeIgowr i
temylast
paper.Ihav
ebeenf eel
i
ngal i
ttl
eoffi
shf
orthe
pasttwoweeks.WhenIwasdoneIwentt o
changemybaby ,t
herewasnowayIwasgonna
walkaroundwi t
hmybabydr essedli
ket
hat.I
camedownr eadytogo.
John:
ohbabywhydi
dyouchangeher
? 
Me:
youst
il
lhav
etoask?
John:
heheOKt
hendon'
tcompl
aint
hatIdon'
t
hel
pyou.
 
Me:i
fthi
sisy
ouri
deaofhel
pthenI
'
m bet
terof
wi
thouti
t.
Wejustl
aughed.Thi
smanisreal
lycr
azy.We
dr
ovetoourfamil
ydoct
or.DeepdownIknew
whatt
heresul
tswoul
dbe.Aft
eraseri
esof
t
estst
hedoctorcamebackt
otheroom.
Doc:
Congr
atul
ati
ons,
youar
e6weekspr
egnant
.
Wowsof aral
ready
.Iwasexpecti
ngatleast2
or3weeks.Sowhenwehadt hatbaby
conversati
on,
Iwasalr
eadypregnant.Ohwell
.
It
sal i
feandIwasmor et
hanexcited.Il
ooked
overatjohnandhehadahugesmi l
eonhis
face.
Doc: withyourconditi
ony ouknowt hatiti
sof
utmosti mpor t
ancethaty oudonotstressatall
orev enstrainyour
self.Youmustt akeiteasy
.
Li
ghtexer ciseisacceptableandyoumusteat
healthy.Nowt hat'
sprettyhardespecial
lyi
fyour
babywi llwantfatt
yfoodsbutt r
yhar dto
balance.
John:thatwi
llnotbeapr
obl
em doct
or,
shei
sin
thebesthands. 
Doc:OK,Isuggesty
oubookwi
tha
gynaecol
ogisti
mmediat
ely
.
Me:
wewi
l
l,t
hanksdoc.
West oopupandwewentt othecaraft
er
gett
ingmyv i
tamins.Johnstr
appedaurorain
hersitwhi
leIwenttothepassengerseat.
John:
mommyi
sgonnaababy
.
Aur
ora:
yaymommy
,yaybaby
.
John:
yaymommy
,yaybaby
.
Ij
ustcoul
dn'
thel
pbutl
augh.Ir
eal
l
ydohav
ethe
per
fectf
amil
y.
John:babyIpromisethi
swil
lbet
hebest
pregnancy.Iwi
llbet
hereev
eryst
epoftheway
andIwi l
lholdy
ourhandthr
oughall
thelabor
pains.
Me:Ireall
ycan'twait
.Ir
eal
lydidn'
texper
ienceit
wit
haur or
a.Ireal
lycan'
twaitt
omeett hi
slit
tl
e
one.
Ir
ubbedmyflattummy.Iwasoverwhelmed
wi
thhappi
nessandnothingcanspoi
lthi
s
moment.Notevenmonsteri
n-l
aw.I'
m sur
eshe
wil
lnotl
ikethi
snews.Thi
nki
ngabouther
,Iki
nd
ofmissher.

#Nel
i
ssa

Ithasbeent woweekssi ncejohnandIhadt hat

i
nci dentinthecar .Thedayaf t
erhesentmea
messagesay i
ngt hatitwasami stakeandt hat
hel ovedhiswi fe.Itri
edcalli
nghi m buthe
refusedt oansweri t.Isenthim messagesbut
hewoul dn'
tanswerme.Iwasr eall
ylosingit.I
reallyl
ov ethi
smanwhycan' theseet hat.It
reallyhurtsmebutIknewt hathiswi feprobably
wentt ot i
ghtenherwi tchcraftwell.Ineedt o
beatheratherowngame.I tssur viv
al ofthe
fit
testandt hereisnowayI 'm goingt olose.I
gotr eadytogot othehospi t
al.Iwasr eally
hopi ngthatIam pr egnant.AtleastIwoul dhav e
l
ev erageonj ohn.Myphoner angandI
answer ed.
Me:
hal
l
ocami
l
o.
Hi
m:i
tsMrsnaket
oyou.
Me:
mesor
ryIf
orgot
.Sowher
ehav
eyoubeen?
Hi
m:I
'
vebeenoutofthecount
ryfort
hepast
t
woweeks.Hadbusi
nesstoat
tendto.
 
Me:
ohOK.
Him:soIt
hinkit
ssaf
etosayt
hatt
hingsar
e
goi
ngasplaned.
Me:Iwi
shedt
heywere.Hewant
snothi
ngtodo
wi
thme.Hewon'
tevenanswermycall
s.
Him:
dammi tNel
lyhowhardisitt
ogetaman?I
di
dever
ythi
ngforyoual
ready.Iwashopingt
o
comebacktoadivor
cei
nt heprocess.
Me:It
ri
ed,wehadawonder f
ul evening.We
ev
enhadsexbutthenhejustregr et
ted
ev
eryt
hingandsi
ncethanheref usestoanswer
mycall
s.
Hi
m:Ihopey
ouwer
ecl
everenoughnott
ouse
pr
otect
ion.
Me:
yeswedi
dn'
tuseany
.
Him:OKnowgot oadoct
orandgetatestdone.
Fory
oursakeIhopeyouar
epregnant
. 
Me:
Iwasal
readyonmywayt
her
e. 
Hi
m:good.
Hehangedup,Iwal
kedoutandtookataxi
to
t
hedoctor
.Iwassonervous.Thedoct
ordi
dall
t
henecessar
ytestandcameback.
Doc:
I'
m sor
ryy
ouar
enotpr
egnant
.
Ihadt ol
dthedoct orthatmyhusbandandI
hav ebeentr
yingf orsomet ime.Icouldseethe
pityinhi
seyes.Hef el
tsorryforme.Het hen
gav emesomef erti
li
typil
l
saf terconduct
ing
testsandIwasf ine.
Doc:Isuggestyoucomewithyourhusbandon
thenextappoint
ment,sowecantesthim.
Sometimesitmightbetheman'sfaul
ttowhy
youcan'tconcei
ve.
Me:
Iwi
l
l.Thanky
ou.
Iwal kedoutoft hatdoct or'soffi
cef eeli
ng
defeat ed.Howwi l
l Igethi mt osleepwi thme
againwhenhewant snothi ngtodowi thme?
Whydi dIal l
owhi mt opulloutsoqui ck?Iwas
reall
yaf raidofwhatMrsnakewi l
l dome, t
hat
manr eal lyscaredme.Ideci dedthatIwas
goingt ot el
lhimt hatI '
m pr egnantwhi leIfigur
e
outwhatt odo.Iwentt othemal l Ijustneeded
somer etailt
her apyt ounwi nd.Iwal kedi nt
o
foshini tobuysomest uff.Luckil
yIst il
lhad
from t hemoneycami logav eme.Ist arted
l
ooki ngar oundf orst uffwhenIhear dav ery
fami l
iarl augh.Thel aught hatsendsshi vers
downmyspi ne.It urnedar oundandIsawj ohn
wi t
hav erybeaut iful womanandagi rlwhowas
aboutt oy earsol d.Theyseemedsohappy
toget her .Thewayhel ookedather ,therewas
somuchl oveinhi sey es.Theywer echoosi ng
swi mmi ngcost umes.Iwentbehi ndar ackof
clothescl oset othem t oheart heirconv ersati
on.
John:
babyIt
hinkt
hisonei
sbet
ter
.
Her:
hellno,
Iwanttolookhot
.Idon'
twantyou
l
ookingatal
lthosesexywomenwiththei
rtwo
pi
ecesatthebeach.
John:babyyouknowIonl
yhaveeyesf ory
ou
pl
usthiswil
lbetooti
ght
.Youpregnantbaby,
I
don'
twantyoutosuff
ocatet
hebaby .
Her
:OKy
ouwi
nonl
ythi
sonce.
 
Hekissedherandmyhear tbroke.Shei
s
pregnantf
orhim.Ireall
ydon'tknowwhyI 'm so
angry.I
tsnotli
keheismi ne.Iranoutofthe
mallli
keamadper son.Tearsst r
eamingdown
mycheeks.Peoplegav emeconcer nedlooks,
someev entri
edtotalktomebutIwasj ustso
broken.Howcanhedot hi
st ome.

Nar
rat
ed

Cami
l
oAKAMrsnakedr
ovet
oSowet
otoav
ery
shadynei
ghborhood.Hegotoutofthecarand
hewalkedint
oapl acet
hatl
ookedli
kea
sangoma'spl
ace.Hegotinfuming.
Camilo:Ipai
dyoual
otofmoneyfort
hat
medicineyougav
etome.Whydidn'
ti
twork
huh?Johnwassupposetobedi
vorci
nghi
swif
e
al
ready.
Thewitchdoct
orj
ustlookedathi
m and
l
aughed.HewasaNi geri
anman.
Cami
l
o:whati
ssof
unny
,Iwantmymoneyback.
Sangoma:
don'ty
oueverbar
geinher
eli
kethi
s
agai
norIwil
ll
ettheGod'
sst
rikey
oudead.Now
si
tdownnow!
Het
ookofhi
sshoesandsatdown.
Sangoma:nowli
stenIam thebestt her
eisbut
youknowthatGodlooksafterhisown.Hiswife
i
spowerful
.Shepraystoomuchf orhimthat
'
s
whythemedici
neonlyaff
ect edhisbrai
nfora
l
itt
lewhi
l
e.
Cami
l
o:sowhatdoIdoaboutt
hat
?Ki
l
lher
?
Sangoma:noyoucan'tki
l
lherother
wiseshe
wil
ldest
royev
eryt
hing.Herhear
tistoopure.
Camil
o:sowhatdoy ousuggestIdo.Imust
dest
roythatmarr
iage.Johncannotbehappy
wit
hher.Notaft
erwhathehasdone.  
Sangoma: y
ouhavetodosomet
hingthatwi
ll
crushhersoul
.Onl
ythenwi
ll
yousucceed.
[
03/
05,
08:
54]Ron:
Att
hef
li
psi
deofkar
ma

I
nser
t43

#Emi
l
y

Thepastmont hhasbeennothingbutamazing.
TheBahamasi sbeauti
ful
.Wehadsomuchf un.
Itwasnicetoactual
l
yleaveeveryt
hingbehi
nd
andjustrel
ax.Wedidsomanyt hi
ngs.Aur
ora
wasj ustamazedwi t
ht hesightoft hei sl
and.
Johnr eall
youtdi dhimselfthistime.Wenev er
actuall
yhadahoney moonbecauseIr efusedto
tr
av elanywherewhenIwaspr egnantwi t
h
aurora.Youknowone' sfir
stpr egnancybr i
ngsa
l
otofi nsecuri
ti
esoft heunknown.NowIwi shed
Iwoul dhaveagr eedtogobecausei twoul d
havebeenl ovelyjustthetwoofus.NowIdon' t
seemy sel
fgoingonav acationwi t
houtmychi l
d.
I'
l
ljustfeelgui
lty.Therewer eaf ewt hingswe
couldn'tdobecauseofaur orabutitwasf un
nont heless.I
twasourl astnightint heIsland
andwewer ehav ingdinner.
Me:I'
mr eal
l
ygoi
ngt
omi
sst
hispl
ace,
itsso
peacef
ul.
John:
yesIwi
shIcanmov
eher
e.
Me:y
ouwillgetbor
ed,
thi
sisaoncei
nawhi
l
e
ki
ndofpl
ace.
John:Iguessy
ouareri
ghtbaby
.ToobadI
di
dn'tgettomakel
ovetoyouasmuchasI
hoped.
Me:youandsexnehbaby
.It
hinkIshoul
d
st
arv
ey ouabi
t.
John:
youwouldn'
tdare,
itsal
lyourf
aul
t.You
gotmeaddi
ctedtoyou.
Me:
seesoy ouneedsomewi
thdr
awal
tobr
eak
t
headdi
cti
on.
John:ohno,
I'
m addi
ctedt
omywi
feandi
m not
ashamed.
Me:
shhkeepi
tdown.Ev
ery
onei
slooki
ngatus.
Hest
oodup,Ifear
edwhathewasgoi
ngt
odo.
Myhusbandi
sv er
ycr
azy.
John:li
stenev
ery
body,I
'm soinlov
ewit
ht hi
s
beauti
fulwomanoverhere.Yeahshedr
ivesme
crazy
.
Every
onelookedatus,
somecl
appedand
cheered.
Me:
sitdownpl
ease.
Hecamet ome, hegavemet hemost
breathtaki
ngkissev er
.Every
onej ustcheer
ed.I
bl
ushed.Ir eall
ydon'tl
ikebeingthecentreof
attenti
on,Ili
kedf l
yi
ngundert herai
der.He
fi
nallysatdown.Iwassof l
ushed.
John:
what
'swr
ong,
theymustknow.
Hesai dthati mi tatingTrevorNoah, Ijustburst
outlaughi ng.Ther eisnoper sont hatmakesme
l
aughl i
ket hi
sman.Ij ustcan' tstopt hanking
Godf orthi sgift.Andt othi
nkIoncebel i
eved
thatIdonotdeser vehappi ness.Godhasr eall
y
embar rassedmewi t
hblessings.Iact uall
y
shouldst arttakingJohnt ochur chwi thme.We
enjoyedourwonder f
ulfood.Thenextdaywe
arri
vedatORTamboai rportandj ohnsai dthat
cami l
owaspi ckingusup.If inallygett omeet
thefamouscami lo.Wewal kedoutofar ri
vals
andwewer egr eet edbyt hislightski nnedguy .
Hewashandsomebuthehadnot hingonmy
husband.Hesmi ledatmeandIf eltthissudden
chil
l.Ir
eal lyfeel uneasyaboutt hi
sf ellow.
John:Cammyt hi
sismybeauti
fulwi
feEmil
y
andEmilyt
hisi
smyv erygoodfri
endand
busi
nesspart
nercamil
o.
HeextendedhishandandIshookit.Myspi
rit
real
l
ydidn'
ttakewellwi
tht
hisguy.Ifakeda
smil
e.
Him:sowefinal
l
ymeet
.I'
m sor
ryI
'
veal
way
s
beenbusy
. 
Me:
itsok.
Wegoti ntohiscarandwedr ov et
opanar otti
'
s
forl
unch.Iwasr eallycravi
ngt heirpasta.Iate
whil
ej ohnandcami lower ehav ingaconv ersi
on.
Iwouldanswerher eandt her e.Iwasj ust
feel
ingv erydown, sowedi dn'tgettohav e
desert,ItoldjohnthatIwasn' tfeeli
ngwel l
,so
cami l
odr oveushome.Wef oundt henannyat
homeal ready.Sowel eftauror awithherandwe
wentupst ai
rs.It
ookal ongshowerandIwor e
mypy jamas.Goodt hingthisbabyal l
owsmet o
uselotionandst uff.Igotintobadandsoon
af
terj
ohncamet
ojoi
nme.
 
Me:
babycanIt
ell
yousomet
hing?
John:
sur
ebaby
.
Me:welldon'
ttaket
hiswr ongbutIgotthi
sv er
y
badvi
bewhenImety ourfri
endcamilo.It
hink
youshouldbecaref
ularoundhim.
John:
babycamil
oisagreatguyandheisnot
onl
ymybusinesspar
tnerbuthehasal
sobeen
agoodfr
iendtome. 
Me:OKbaby,i
fyousaysobutany
wayy
oumust
becar
eful
. 
Helookedatmeandl aughed.Ihat
edi
twhenhe
l
aughedatme.Ifeltt
earsthreat
eni
ngt
ofall
.
Damnhor mones.
Me:
what
'
sfunny
.
John:j
ustrel
axbaby.Ihavej
ustr
eal
i
sedt
hat
j
ohnjnrdoesn'
tl
ikecamilo.
 
Me:
whatdomean?
John:r
emembert hatdayyoucri
edt
otal
ktomy
mom?Wel lIt
hinkthebabylovesmymot
herbut
notcamil
o.
Iremembert hedayIcr i
edt ospeakt omy
monst erinlaw.ImeanIcoul dn'tsleep.Ij
ust
want edtohearherv oi
ce.Shewassoannoy ed
atmebutIdi dn'
tcare.Ijustwant edt otalkto
her.Idoubtt hi
sisthesamet hing.Cami lomade
meuneasy .Isenseddar knessar oundhi m but
forjohn'ssakeIhopei tisbecauseoft hebaby .
Heki ssedmeandhel dmeunt ilIfellasl
eep.

#Nel
i
ssa

Thepastmont hhasbeennot hi
ngbuttor
ture
forme.Cami l
otoldmethatj ohnhadgonet o
theBahamaswi thhisf
ami l
y .Iwassoangry
andhurt.Ir
eall
ydidn'
tknowwhatwas
happeni
ngt ome.SoIstar t
edst al
ki
nghiswife
onFacebooksincehehar dlypostedanyt
hing.
Themor eIwoul dseet heirvacati
onpi ct
ures
themor eIgotdepr essed.Ireal
lydonotknow
whyIwast orturi
ngmy sel
fli
ket hat.Imeant he
mani smar ri
edwi thachi ldandoneont heway .
Whycoul dn'tIforgethim?Iwassi t
t i
nginmy
room cryi
ngaf terseeingphot osofhi m ki
ssing
hiswifewhent herewasaknockont hedoor.I
quickl
ydriedmyt earsasIt oldLisatogeti n.
Li
sa:
hihowar
eyou?
Me:
I'
m good.
Lisa:I'
mv eryconcer
nedaboutyouNel.Imean
yousai dyoucameher eonleavebutit
sbeen
twomont hsalr
eady.Don'
tgetmewr ong.Il
ove
hav i
ngy ouherebutIneedtoknowwhat '
sgoing
on.
Ihadtothi
nkofaliet
otel
lLisabecauseI
wasn'
treal
lyworki
ngandIcan'tl
eavebecauseI
sti
l
lneedjohn.
Me:I
'm sor
rybutIhadgotr
etr
enchedatwork.I
wasafr
aidtotel
lmom soIcameheretolook
forwork.I
'
vebeensendi
ngmyCVar oundandI
actual
l
yhav esomei
nter
viewsf
ornextweek.
Li
sa:mydearwhydidn'
tyoutel
lme?Icoul
d
havehel
pedyou.Youknowourmothersar
e
si
ster
ssoyoumor emysist
erthenmycousin.
Me: Iwasjustafr
aidyouwoul
dtel
lmom.Idon't
wanthertost r
ess.Iwasgoi
ngtotel
lheronceI
secureajobhere.
Li
sa:ohOK, Iwon'
ttel
lher
.Letmeknowify
ou
needhelp.Andthemoneyy ouhav
ebeen
spendi
ngIguessisfrom y
ourpayout
?
Me:
yes.
Li
sa:I'
m alwaysherefory ou.Oneothert
hingI
not
icedthatyoucryal otthisdays.Yout
ryso
har
dt ohideitbutIseeit.What'swrongbaby?
Itri
edsohardtobest
rongbutonceshesaid
thatIj
ustcoul
dn'
thol
diti
nanymore.Icr
iedand
Lisahuggedme. 
Li
sa:
takeev
eryt
hingout
.
Il
ayonherlapandcried.Shebrushedmyhai
r
unt
ilt
helastsobescaped.Icoul
dn'tcr
y
anymore.
 
Li
sa:
arenownowr
eadyt
otel
lme?
Isatupst
rai
ght
.
Me:
doy
oupr
omi
sey
ouwon'
tj
udgeme?
Li
sa:
Ipr
omi
set
otr
y.
Me: f
airenough,r
emembert
hatmar
ri
edguyat
yourneighbour
spart
y?
Herexpr essi
onjustchanged,Itol
dher
every
t hingapartfrom thedealIhadwi t
hcamil
o.
Shelistenedat t
entiv
elyandf r
owning.Shetook
alongt i
met oanswer .Shewaspr obabl
y
di
gest ingev er
ythi
ng.Shef i
nall
yspoke.
Lisa:nelIl
oveyousomuchandIwi l
lal
way sbe
thereforyoubutwhatyoudi
dwasnotonl y
stupidbutalsowi
cked.Iwi
llal
way
sbehonest
withyoubecauseIwantthebestf
oryou.Forget
aboutthisman,hecanonlybri
ngyounothi
ng
butheartache.Yourhusbandissomewher eout
ther
e,Godisjustwait
ingfortheri
ghtti
met o
bri
nghimt oyou.Knowt hatGodwi l
lnevergi
ve
youanotherwoman' shusband.Evenifhe
l
eaveshiswi f
eforyou,itwil
lonl
ybeamat t
erof
ti
mebef orehedoest hesamet oyou.
Me:butshei
snotmeantt
obewi
thhi
m,she
usedwit
chcr
aftonhi
m.
Lisa:youcannev
erbesureoft hatevenift
hat
i
st hecaseyouarenotGod.Leav eevery
thi
ngin
hishandsandonhisappointedtime,hewil
l
fr
eet hatman.Pl
easelett
hisgobef orei
tsucks
youin.
Me:Ihearyou,Iwi
l
l.CanIbel
eftal
onenow.I
wanttosleep.
Li
sa:
sur
e,I
'
llt
alkt
oyoul
ater
.
Iwatchherleave,I
'
m suresheisjustj
eal
ousof
mebecausej ohnisri
chandshewi sheshimfor
hersel
f.Iwi
l
l notl
etthathappen.Thebi
blesays
thatGodhelpsthosewhohel pthemsel
ves.So
i
tst
imeIhel
pmy
sel
f.
[
03/
05,
08:
54]Ron:
Att
hef
li
psi
deofkar
ma

I
nser
t44

#Emi
l
y

It
sbeen3mont hssinceourt r
ipandthings
werest i
llgoi
ngsmoot hly
.Myhusbandhadme
walkingoneggshel l
s,hebehav edli
keIcoul d
breakatany t
ime.Heal way smadesur ethathe
camehomeear lyandhewasnowev endoi ng
thecooking.Iwassosur pr i
sed.Iwasreal l
y
grateful
hemademef eell
ikeaqueen.Thi ngs
betweenmeandgr annywer ebacktonor mal .
Shef i
nall
ysawherdaught erforthesnakeshe
was.Johnwasr i
ght,mybabyl ovedhis
grandmot her
.Shehatedmet othecoreand
i
nsul t
edbutIsti
llwenttov isi
theraboutt hricea
week.Shet olerat
edmebecauseofmy
pregnancy .Shemaybeev ilbutshel i
kedher
grandchil
dr en.Shewasr eal l
yf ondofaur orabut
Ifearedshewasabadi nf l
uencef ormychi ld
becauseshesmokedal ot.Itwasmor ningandI
wasget ti
ngr eadyt ogotomygy naecol
ogi st
appointment .Ilookedmy selfint hemi r
rorandI
l
ookedl i
keIwasaboutt opop.ImeanIwasa
l
it
t l
eover5mont hsbutIf el
tlikemyduedat eis
near.Twomont hsagoIhadgr aduatedwi th
fl
yingcolour sandf i
nal
lyI '
m anaccount ant.I
wassopr oudofmy sel
fandI '
m gl adthatIwas
abletokeept hepromiseImadet oAndy .Iwas
hopingforaboysoIcanconv incejohnt oname
hi
m af t
erAndy .Myphoner angandIanswer ed
withoutchecki ngthecallerId.
Me:
hal
l
o
John:pl
easegety
oursexysel
fdownher
eI'
m
wait
ingfory
ou.
Me:
whyar
eyoucal
l
ingme?Whydon'
tyou
comeupandcar
rymedown.
John:nowIseey
ourpl
anwoman,
youwantt
o
ki
llme.
Me:
arey
oui
nsul
ti
ngme?
John:me?Nev
er.Iwi
l
lnev
erdot
hatt
omy
queen.
Me:
OKI
'
m onmywaydownnow.
Ijustputsomepowderonandsomemakeup
tomakemel ookalit
tl
ehuman.DamnIl ook
ugly,mynosewasal lopen.Thischi
ldi
sbrut
alI
telly
ou.Wegonnahav eourfi
rstul
tr
asoundand
hopefull
ywewi l
lfi
ndoutthesex.Itookmybag
andIwal keddownstai
rs.
John:
hmm myqueeny
oul
ooksobeaut
if
ul.
Me:st
opmessi
ngwi
thmebaby
,IknowhowI
l
ook.
John:youwillal
waysl
ookbeaut
if
uli
nmyey es.
RightRor
i,doesn'
tmommylookbeaut
if
ul?
Aur
ora:
nomom l
ooksugl
y.
Thi
schi
ldcouldn'tshejustamuseme.John
j
ustl
aughed.Ipretendedtocry
.
Auror
a:sorr
ymommyyout
oldmeGoddoesn'
t
l
ikechi
ldr
enwholi
e.
Icouldn'
tar guewit
hthat.Igaveherabigki
ss
andwel eft.Wegott othegynaeandhe
preparedfort heul
tr
asound.ButIwasn'
t
preparedforwhatIwasaboutt osee. 
Doc:
congr
atul
ati
ons,
youar
ehav
ingt
wins.
Us:
twi
ns?
Doc:yes,
howeverIam onl
yabletoseet
hesex
ofonebaby.Wouldyouli
ketoknow?
Il
ookedatj
ohnandhenoddedwi
tht
hehugest
smil
eonhisface.
 
Me:
yesdoct
or.
Doc:
itsaboy
.
Johnj
umpedandt
hedocandIl
aughedathi
m.
HelookedsohappybutIwasabi twor
ried, t
wo
ki
dsmeansdoublethepai nri
ght.Thedoct or
checkedtoseei
feveryt
hingwasOKwi ththe
ki
ds.Andtheyappearedhealt
hy.Iwasgl ad.
Thedocgav emetoil
etpapertocleanthejelly
onme. weWenttositbyhisdesk.
Doc:nowt hi
spr egnancyhasbecamet wi
ceas
compli
catedwi t
hy ourcondit
ion.Sopl
easet
ake
goodcareofy ourselfandIurgeyounott
odo
anyworkatall. 
John:don'
twor
rydoc,
Iwi
l
lev
enbat
hhermy
sel
f.
Myhubbyi sjustcr
azybutIl
ikethefactthathe
caresaboutus.Wesaidyouourgoodby esto
thedoctor
.Aswewer eleavi
ngt hehospit
alhe
gotacallf
rom oneofhiscli
entsthatneededto
seehim.
John:
babyI
'
llgodr
opy
ouathomet
hen.
Me:nobabyt
akemet
othemal
l
,Iwannado
someshoppi
ng.
John:
youhear
dwhatt
hedoct
orsai
dlov
e.
Me:
Iknowbaby,shoppi
ngwil
lnotputst
rai
non
t
hebabi
es.I
nst
eaditwil
lcl
earmymi nd.
John:
OKIwi
ll
comewhenI'm done,
Idoubtt
hat
mymeeti
ngwi
llt
akel
ong.
 
Wedr ovetot hemall
,hepar ked.Igavehi
ma
peckandIl eftandwalkedin.Iwentstrai
ghtto
Woolworths.Itookat r
oll
eyandIst art
edbuying
babyclothes.Theyweresocut e,
Ididnotknow
thesexoft heotherbabysoIt ooksomepi nkas
wellasneut r
alcol
ours. 
Voi
ce:
aren'
tthi
scl
othesj
ustbr
eat
htaki
ng?
It
urnedar
oundandIfoundanot
herpregnant
woman.Shewasn'
tasbigasmet hough.
Me:
theyj
ustl
ovel
y.Iwannat
aket
hem al
l
.
Gi
rl
:Iknowr
ight
?Met
oo.
Me:
gir
lorboy
?
Gi
rl
:Iwanti
ttobeasur
pri
seandy
ou?
Me:oneisdefi
natl
yaboybutIdon'
tknow
aboutt
heother.
Gi
rl
:youhav
ingt
wins?
Me:
yes.
Iwat
chedasal
lthecol
ordr
ainedf
rom herf
ace.
Me:
isev
ery
thi
ngOK?
Gi
rl
:yes,
Ifeel
fory
out
hough.Doubl
ethe
t
roubl
e.
Me:yeahIknowbutmyhubbyisv
ery
suppor
ti
ve.SoIwi
llgethel
p.
Gi
rl
:youveryl
ucky,l
i
stenIhavet ogetgoingbut
wi
lly
oupleasegivemey ournumber?Ijust
movedhereandIdon'thavefr
iendsandmay be
wecanhavelunchsomet i
me.
Tot hinkabouti
t,i
alsodon'
thavefri
ends,
it'
s
eitherI'
m wit
hauroraorj
ohn.Itwi
ll
behealthy
tomakesomef ri
ends.SoItookherphoneandI
typedi nmynameandnumber .
Gi
rl
:thanky
ou,
I'
m Mandybyt
heway
.
Me:
Emi
l
y,ni
cet
omeety
ou.
Nel
:I'
l
lcal
lyou.
Sheseemedsosweet
,Ir
eal
l
yhopeshedoes.

#Nel
i
ssa

Ihav ehadt hewor st3mont hsofmyl if

e.Ihad
toleaveev erymor ningandr oam ar oundt he
mal lbecauseIt oldmycousi nIwasnow
wor ki
ngasanur se.Itwasagoodt hingthat
cami l
oleftmewi t
henoughmoneybef or
ehe
l
eftbecausehest ill
t houghtIam pr egnant.At
l
easthel eftt hecount ryIcoul dbreathabi tand
comeupwi thapl ant ogetjohnback.Theman
wasst ubbor n.Itri
edl yi
ngt ohi mthatIwas
pregnantbutt hatqui cklyblewupi nmyf ace
whenhedr aggedmet ot hedoct orforat est.I
guesshehasbeenf ooledbef or
e.Ev ersince
thatdayIdar ednott obot herhi m any mor e.SoI
hadtot akedr asti
cmeasur es.Iwentt oso
manywi t
chdoct orsandt heyt oldmet hathis
wifeistoopur eandIcoul dn'tgett oher
husband.Unl essIkillherspi ritandmakeher
hateGod.If i
nal l
yaccept edt hatwast heonl y
thi
ngIcoul ddo.I tgotmewonder ingbecause
camilosaidthatsheusedwi tchcraftonhi m but
thewi t
chdoct orclearlysai dshewaspur eof
heart.AnywayInol ongercar edbecauseI
wantedj ohnandIam notaboutt ostopunt i
lI
gethim.Ialway sgotoutoft hehousewear i
nga
fakebabybumpj ustincasecami lohadpeopl e
watchingme.Ir eal
lydon' ttrustthatdude.AsI
wasgoi ngtot hemal l Isawj ohn'swi f
eheadi ng
i
nsidet hemal l,
justmyl uck.IknewwhatIwas
goingtodo.TobehonestwhenIl earnedt hat
shewascar r
y i
ngt winsIgotsoangr y.Andone
ofthem isaboy .Ican'tIal l
owt hat.Igother
number ,Iguessshei spur eoft hehear t
becauset hebi t
chist oot r usting.Ihadnot hi
ng
agai
nstherbutshejustmarr
iedtothewr ong
man.Iwil
ldoanythi
ng,Imeanany t
hingtoget
hi
m.Iwenthomewi t
hahugesmi leonmyf ace
aft
erbuyi
ngeveryt
hingIneeded.Iwalkedinthe
house.
Me:
goodev
eni
ngmyDar
li
ngsi
ster
.
Lisa:
hmm someoneishappy
,Ihav
en'
tseen
youli
ket
hisisawhi
l
e.
Me:
iti
sabeaut
if
ulday
,whywoul
dn'
tIbe?
Li
sa:
I'
m gladt
oseey
oul
i
ket
his,
sowhoi
sthe
newguy?
Me:
whosayst
her
ehast
obeamant
omake
mehappy
?
Lisa:
Ididn'
tmeanitl
i
ket
hat
,anywayI
'
m gl
ad
youfinal
lyhappy
.
Me:
youandIbot
hmyl
ove.
Iwalkedupstai
rs,Ialway
sremov emybaby
bumpbef or
eent eri
ngthehouse.Ikeepinthe
backofthehouse.IdontwantLisa'slect
ures.
OnceIgetj ohnI'
llpr
ovetohert
hatIwasright
andshewaswr ong.Itookoutmyphoneand
cal
leddearEmi ly
.Sheansweredonthethi
rd
ri
nglaughing.Icouldhearj
ohn'
svoi
ceinthe
background.Itj
ustgotmef umi
ngandIjusthad
tocalm down.
Me:
hal
l
o
Her
:sor
ryaboutt
hat
,hal
l
owho'
sthi
s.
Me:
itsMandy
,wemetatt
hemal
lear
li
er.
Her
:ohhi
Mandy
,what
'
sup?
Me:
Iwaswonder
ingifwecoul
ddolunch
t
omorr
ow.I
minrealneedofafemal
efri
end.
 
Her:wel
lI'
m goingoutwi
l
lmyhubbyt
omor
row
butIcandoFriday.
Me:
that
sgr
eat
.Seey
out
hen.By
e.
Shedidn'
tevenrepl
ythephonewentdead.Iam
goi
ngoutwi t
hhubby,Imimickedinafunny
voi
ce.Doesshehavetorubin.Enjoyi
twhil
eit
l
astsbit
ch.Justonemoreday ,i
twon'
tkil
lme
t
owai
t.
[
03/
05,
08:
54]Ron:
Att
hef
li
psi
deofkar
ma

I
nser
t45

#emi
l
y

John:
whowast
hatont
hephone?
Me:
itst
hegi
rlImetatt
hemal
ltoday
.
John:babyIdon'
twanty
ougoi
ngoutwi
th
str
angers.
Me: babyshei
spregnantandharmless.I
tsnot
healthyt
oalwaysbealone.Ineedt
ohav e
fr
iendstoo.
John:
whydoneedf
ri
endswheny
ouhav
eme?
Me:youwil
lalwaysbemybestf
ri
endmylov
e,
buti
tsheal
thyformetoal
sohavefemal
e
fr
iends.WhoIcantal
kgirlst
uffwit
handgo
shoppingwi
th.Youhateshopping.
John:t
hat
'str
ue.Ijustcan'
tunder
standwhy
womancan'tj
ustgot ooneshopandt akewhat
youneedandleave.
Me:
shoppi
ngi
snotachor
ebabe,
itsanar
t.
John:i
fyousaysobutjustbecareful
myl
ove.I
don'
twantanyt
hinghappeningt
oy ou.
Me:
itwon'
tIpr
omi
se.
Hecont i
nuedwi t
ht hecookingandmaki ngme
l
augh.Ther eisnohar mi ngoingoutwi t
ha
fell
owwoman.Ihav en'
thadaf riendallthi
s
year sexceptforbeaut ywhoIt alkt oonceina
whi l
e.She'salway sbusywi t
hwor kbutshe
alway ssendsmepi cturesofherandEt han.He
i
ssobi g,I'
m gladthathei swell takencareof.I
domi ssthem alot,Ishouldcall them soon.My
sisterhasr eal
lycomeal ongway ,shehas
madesomemi stakesbutI'm gladt hatshe
turnedherl if
earound.Shei snowdat i
nga
youngpastor
.Whowouldhavethought
.Maybe
ournextf
amilyv
acat
ionshoul
dbei nChi
na.
 
John:
whyi
syourmi
ndsof
ar?
Me:I
'
mjustthi
nki
ngofhowl
uckyIam t
ohav
e
youi
nmyli
fe.
John:
nobaby
,I'
mthel
uckyone.
Me:
ncooooh
John:l
etsseehowl
uckyy
ouf
eel
wheny
ou
tast
ethi
sfood. 
Me:
don'
tpoi
sonmepl
ease.
John:
youmusteatheal
thy
.
Hedi shedupf orbothofus.Aur orawas
spendi ngthenightathergrandmot her'
shouse.
Weat ewhi l
ehavingaconversation.Thefood
wasnotasbadasIt houghtitwoul dbe.Iwas
enj
oy ingev er
ysecondwi t
hmyl ove.Canli
febe
anymor eperfect
?Iguessnot .Ihadpeacei n
myhear t.Whenwef ini
shedeatingwewent
upstairs.Thehelpwashedt hedi shes.Wehada
steamyl ovemaki ngsessi on.Mywi t
hmybi g
tummyt herewasal otofpositi
onswecouldn't
dobutt hatnev erstoppedusf rom pl
easuri
ng
eachot her.Wel ai
dt ogetherinbedandjohn
strokedmyt ummy .Ifel
tthebabiesmov i
nglike
theyaref i
ght i
ng. 
John:t
histwoaregonnabet
roubl
eIcan
al
readyfeeli
t.
Me:youcansaythatagai
n,It
hinkt
heydon'
t
l
ikewhatwejustdi
d.
John:
theymustjustgetoveri
tbecausei
fit
wasnotfort
hisacti
onstheywouldn'
texi
st.
Ipl
ayf
ull
ysl
appedhi
m.
John:
whati
tst
rue.
Me:I'
m scar
edoft
hepai
nbaby
.Whati
fIcan'
t
handl
eit?
John:
youcandoanythi
ngmyqueen.Iwi
l
lbe
ri
ghtt
her
eforyou.Don'
twor
ry.
Me:
thanky
oubaby
.
John:
not
hankyouf
ort
hesegi
ft
s.Ican'
twai
tto
hol
dmysons.
Me:
whati
ftheot
heronei
sagi
rl
?
John:
thenwegi
veherawayt
obeaut
y.
If
rowned,
heki
ssedme.
John:
I'
mjustj
oki
ngmylove,Iwi
lll
oveanybaby
yougi
vemebecauseIl
oveyou. 
Hesangforme,ohmymani ssosweetandhe
hasabeauti
ful
voi
ce.If
eltmyeyesget
ti
ng
heav
yandsleepovert
ookme.

#Nel
i
ssa

IsleptsopeacefulknowingthatI
'
llbehav i
ng
j
ohnnextt omev er
ysoon.IwokeupandIt ook
av eryl
ongshower .If
eltsoatpeace,Icouldn'
t
stopsmi l
i
ng.Finall
yGodhasdecidedt obless
me.Igotdr essedandIwentdownst airs.Iwas
tooanxioustohav ebreakfast.Isentamessage
toEmi l
yandt oldherwewoul dmeetbyspur
andsheagr eed.Lisahadal r
eadyl ef
tsoIwent
tothebackandputonmybabybump.I twas
sti
llearl
ybecausewewer esupposet omeetat
two.Itookat axitoshoshanguv etogomeet
mywi tchdoctor.Igotther
eandIt ookoffmy
shoesandwal kedin.
Her:welcomemydaught
er,
Ihav
ebeen
expect
ingyou.
Me:
howdoy
ouknowIwascomi
ng?
Her
:theydon'
tcal
lmet
hegr
eatf
ornot
hing.
 
Her:Iknowy ouhav eaplanofhowt okillt
hat
gir
l'
sspiritandi giv
ey oumyblessing.When
sheisfil
ledwi t
hgrief
,usethi
stobat hyoursel
f,
themomentt hemanset shiseyesony ou.He
wil
lforgethiswi feandhewi l
lbecomey ours.
Shehandedmeawhitepowdert
hatshe
i
nstr
uctedIputonmybat
hingwat
er.
 
Her
:bewar
ewhenyougot
omeethi
m,donot
l
ookanot
hermani
ntheey
es.
Itookthemedici
ne,Ithankedherandshet old
met ocomepayappr eciati
onwhenev eryt
hing
i
sdone.IleftandIwentt omeetupwi thEmi l
y
atspur,If
oundheralreadyatspurdr
inking
orangejui
ce.
Me:sor
ryI
'
mlat
emydear
,Icoul
dn'
tgetoutof
bed.
Emil
y:i
tsal
lgoodmydear
,Iknowt
hef
eel
i
ngal
l
toowel
l.
Shestoodandhuggedmeandwesatdown.
Thewai t
resscameandt
ookouror
der
.Shet
hen
broughtmyjuice.
 
Me:
sot
ell
meabouty
our
sel
f?
Emily
: t
here'
snotsomuchtotel
l
, I
'm an
accountantbypr
ofessi
onhoweverIhavenot
pract
icedyet.
Me:
whyhav
eyounotpr
act
iced?
Emily
: wellIwaspl
anningtost
artworki
ngsoon
butIthenfoundoutthatI'
m pr
egnant.Myhubby
i
ssoov erprot
ect
iveandhewon'tal
lowmet o
work.
Me:
wowy
ousol
uckyt
ohav
eahusbandl
i
ke
t
hat
.
Emil
y:ohmyGod, youhavenoidea.Heisj
ust
thebest
.Plusheissohandsometoo.Ihav
ethe
wholepackage.
If
akedasmi
l
e.
Me:
Icani
magi
ne.
Emi
l
y:ar
eyoumar
ri
ed?
Me: Iam butmyhusbandandIaresepar
ated
becausesomewi t
chusedwitchcr
aftonhim,
nowI '
mlefttocat
erformybabyandIalone.
 
Emily
:ohmyGoddearI'm sorr
y,peopleout
ther
ecanbewickedbutdon'tworr
yGodwi l
l
onedayvi
ndi
cateyouandy ouwillhav
ehim.
Me:
thanky
ou,
youar
esoki
nd.I
tsal
ready
happeni
ng.Iwi
l
lgethi
m backsoon.
Emil
y:t
hat
'sgreat
,pl
easeexcuseme.Ihav
eto
uset
heLaddies,y
ouknowhowi ti
s.
Me:ofcour
seIdo,
wit
hyoui
tmustpr
obabl
ybe
wor
se.
Shest oodupandl eft
.Whatast upidbitch,she
doesn'tevenknowI '
mt alkingabouther
husband.Goodt hi
ngwewer esitt
inginaqui et
area.Iquicklyputtheliquidi nherjuice.Itwill
workonhersl owandbyt oni ghtshewoul dlose
thosebast ar
dsshei scar rying.Shecameback
andIwat chedherdr inkherj uicewi t
hasmi leon
myf ace.Weat ewhilehav i
ngpl easant
conv er
sation.Toobadwedi dn'
tmeeti nbet ter
cir
cumst ancesbecausewecoul dhav ebeen
goodf ri
ends.Af t
erlunch, wewentoursepar ate
way s.

#John
Im sti
llashamedofwhathappenedbet ween
neli
ssaandI .I
tfel
tlikeIwaspossessedor
somet hing.Iknowpeopl emightnotbel
ieveme
butitistrue.Ihatethatwomansomucht hatI
real
lyfeltli
kestranglingher.Idon'
tunderstand
howwomencant hrowt hemselvesonamar ri
ed
man.MyEmi lywil
lnev erstoopsolow.Ismi l
ed
thi
nkingaboutmywi fe,sheistr
ulyagif
tfr om
above.Tal ki
ngaboutt heangelandsheappear s.
Me:
Iwasj
ustt
hinki
ngabouty
ou.
Iwentov
ert
oherandIki
ssedher
.
Emi
l
y:hmm whataboutme?
Me:howI
'mthel
ucki
estmanal
i
vet
ohav
eyou
asmywif
e.
Emi
l
y:f
lat
ter
ywi
l
lgety
ouev
ery
wher
e.
Me:
yeahr
ight
,sohowwasy
ourl
unch?
Emil
y:i
twasamazi ng,Iwi
llcometel
youabout
i
t,l
etmejustchangeintosomethi
ngmore
comf
ort
abl
e.
Me:
OKbaby
.
Iwatchedherwal
kaway .SecondslaterIheard
herscream.Ir
antoherandIf oundherholding
herabdomenandbloodwasspi ll
ingont he
fl
oor.OhGodno.
[
03/
05,
09:
11]Ron:
Att
hef
li
psi
deofkar
ma

I
nser
t46

#Emi
l
y

IwokeupandIlookefatmysur r
oundings,I
wasinthehospi
tal
.Thensuddenl yeverythi
ng
camebacktomet hepain,theblood.Ilook
downandmyt ummywasnol ongerfi
rm.I
scr
eamed.Thedoctorrushedi n.
 
Doc:
youar
eawake,
howdoy
ouf
eel
?
Me:
mybabi
esdoct
or,
wher
ear
emybabi
es?
Doc:Cal
m downMrsAbraham pl
ease,
youwi
l
l
haveanot
herepi
sode.
Me:
DocIwantmybabi
es.
Thel
ookhehadi
nhi
sey
essai
dital
l
.Ibegant
o
cr
y.
Doc:
I'
m sor
ry.
Me:whatwentwr
ong?Iwasdoi
ngal
lthatIwas
t
oldtodo.
Doc:accor
dingtoourf
indi
ngs,
youdr
ankan
abor
tionmixtur
e.
Me:
abor
ti
onmi
xtur
e?
Doc:
yes.
Me:
Iwoul
dnev
erdot
hat
,Il
ovedt
hem.
Doc:Iknow,perhapssomeonegav
eitt
oyou
wit
houty ourknowledge.
 
Whowouldwantt
odot hatt
ome?Johnusual
l
y
cookedt
hef
oodIate.OhmyGodMandy.I
har
dlyknowt
hegi
rlwhywoul
dshedot
hist
o
me.
Me:
doct
orhasmyhusbandbeenher
e?
Doc:hebroughtyouhereandhewasbyyour
si
defortwoday sbuti
thasbeenaweeknow
andIhaven'
tseenhim.
Me:
howl
onghav
eIbeenher
e?
Doc:youbeengoi
ngi
nandoutof
consci
ousnessf
oral
mostt
woweeksnow.
Me:
whencanIl
eav
e?
Doc:I'
llhav
etokeepyouherefortwomor e
days.Ihavebeencal
li
ngyourhusbandandhis
phoneisoff.DoyouhaveanyoneelseIcancal
l
?
Iwonderedwhathappenedtomyhusband.I
gavethedoct
ormymot her'
snumber
. 
Me:doct
orpl
easet
ell
met
hesexoft
heot
her
baby
.
Doc:
itwasagi
rl
.
Thedoct orlef
t,Ij
ustbr okedownandcr ied.
HowcanGoddot histome, Im agoodper son,I
pray,I
'm generous, Il
oveotherswhywi l
lsuch
thi
nghappent ome.HowcanGodal l
owt histo
happent ome.Mypoorbabi es.Inev
ergota
chancet oholdthem, tolovethem.Idon'tthinkI
canev errecoverfrom thi
spain.Icri
edmysel f
tosleep.

#Nel
i
ssa

Ihavehadt hemostwonder ful

twoweeksofmy
l
ife.Wit
hthemanofmydr eamsbymysi de.
Johnisev ery
thingIimaginedhimtobeandso
muchmor e.Ihadt omov eoutifLi
sa'
shouse
becauseshewant ednothingtodowithme
onceshef oundoutt hatIam withj
ohn.I'
m sur
e
i
tsallbecauseofj eal
ousyImeanwhowoul d
notwantamanl i
kejohn.Ihavetogotomy
witchdoctorforappreciat
ion.I
'vej
ustbeentoo
busywithj
ohn.Hehadrent
edmeanapar tment
becauseIdon'
twanttogostayi
nhishouse.
Thatbit
chcanhaveit
.It
snotli
kehecan'
taff
ord
tobuyusanewhouse.
John:
mor
ningpr
incess.
Me:
mor
ningmyl
ovehowdi
dyousl
eep.
John:
Isl
eptl
i
keababynextt
oyoumyl
ove.
Me:
yousaysuchki
ndwor
dst
ome.
John:
onl
ybecausey
oudeser
vei
t.
Me:I'
m goi
ngt
omakeusbr
eakf
astwhi
l
eyou
shower.
John:
Ican'
tdobr
eakf
astbecauseIneedt
ogo
seemywife.
Ithi
nkthismedicineisweari
ngoff.Hehadnot
thoughtaboutherforthepastweekandf ew
days.ThemomenthesawmewhenIwentt o
thehospit
al,hefoll
owedmeandnev erl
ooked
back.
Me:babydon'
tyoumeany
ourexwi
fe?I
'
myour
wi
fetoberemember.
John:
IknowbutIhav
en'tseenheri
nsome
ti
menow,Ij
ustwanttoknowhowshe'sdoi
ng.
Me:
youar
ehur
ti
ngmej
ohn.
John:
whyar ey oubeingsodi
ffi
cult
?Youknow
I
'm marr
ied.Ican'
tleaveherj
ustl
ikethat
?
Me:
sonowI
'
m gonnabey
oursecondbest
?
John:don'tmakethi
ngsdif
fi
cul
t.Il
ovey
oubutI
can'
tl
eav emywi f
e.Ist
il
ll
oveher.
Hest oodupandwentt oshower.Ineedt ogo
meett hatwoman.Thi sisnotwhatIwant ed.I
wanthi shearttobemi neandmineal one.I
can'
tpl aysecondfiddletohiswife.Itjustcan'
t
happen.Johncameback, hegotdr essedt hen
heleft.Ii
mmedi atelygotprepar
edandIt ooka
taxit
oshoshanguv e.Iwenttothewi tch
doctor'shouse.
 
Her
:wel
comemychi
l
d,hav
eyoucomet
opay
appr
eci
ati
on?
Me:
yesbutIhav
eapr
obl
em?
Her:
whatpr
obl
em?Di
dn'
tyougett
hemany
ou
desi
re?
Me:Idi
dbuthi
shearti
snotcompl
etel
ymi
ne.
Hesti
ll
lov
eshi
swife.
Her:f
orhi
mt ocompl
etel
yleav
ehi
swi
fewi
l
l
costyoual
ot.
Me:Icanpayany
thi
ng.Idon'
twantt
oshar
e
hi
m witht
hatwoman.
Her:
youhav etol
ethi
mimpregnat
eyouand
wheny oudel
iv
eryouwil
lgi
vemethechi
ldf
or
sacr
if
ice.
HowcanIgivemyownchi ldt
odiebutIcan'
t
j
ustleav
ejohnli
ket
hat.Ineedall
ofhim.Iwi
ll
sur
elybeablet
ohaveanotherchi
ldagai
n.
Me:
Iwi
l
ldoi
t.
Her
:makesur
ethaty
oudon'
tmi
scar
ryt
hechi
l
d
becauseifyoudo,doom shal
lfal
lonyouand
al
sot akethi
s.Youcanuseittocall
him any
ti
meandhewi l
lcometoy ou.
Shegavet hemedi cinesincl
udi
ngtheonethat
wil
lensuret hatIgetpregnantt
henextti
meI
sl
eepwi t
hj ohn.Ihav etodoitf
ormylovefor
hi
m.
[
03/
05,
09:
11]Ron:
Att
hef
li
psi
deofkar
ma

I
nser
t47

It
sbeent woweeksnowsi nceIl eftthehospi t
al,
thepainfeelslikeIlostthem y esterday .Ican'
t
eatandwhenev erIdofallasleepIdr eam of
them cryi
ng.Iwasn' tabletosav et hem.I t
smy
faul
t.Mypr oblem isIam t ootrust i
ng.It ookmy
kidstotheirend.WhatdoIdonow?HowdoI
handlethi
spai n.Ihadt otakeaur orat ogranny
becauseIdonott rustmy selftol ookaf terher
.
It
snotf ai
ronhert hatsheseesmebr okenl i
ke
this.Thewor stpar ti sjohn, hei sneverhome.
Hesay sthathei sbusywi t
hwor kbutIdon't
believ ehim.It hinkhei sav oidingme, Ithinkhe
blamesmef ort hei
rdeat h.IgotoutofbedandI
draggedmy sel ftoshower .Itsbeen3day snow
Ihav en'tshower edandIhav en'tseenmy
husband.Igotoutoft heshoweranddr essed
up.Ibl ewmyhai r
.Iputonsomemakeup.I t
s
aboutt i
meIgoonwi thmyl i
f e,Ican'
tcont i
nue
l
iket hisaur oraneedsme.AsIam aboutt o
l
eav et her oom Ihearaphoner ingingandIam
quitesur eit
snotmi ne.Ifollowt hesoundandI
fi
ndi tundert hebed.Johnmusthav eforgotten
i
t.Il ookati tandwonderhowhedi dn'
tnot i
ce
thathehasn' thadhi sphonef or3whol eday s.
Cur i
osi tygott hebet terofme.Iwoul dn't
nor mal l
ygot hr oughmyhusband' sphonebutI
neededt oknowwhatgoi ngonwi thhi
m.Iwent
straightt ohiswhat sappandwhatIsawgav e
met heshockofmyl if
e.Myhusbandi s
cheatingonme.Fr om whatIgatherhei sinlove
withthiswoman.OhGodnowhyi sall this
happeningt ome?I st hi
sapunishmentf orwhat
IdidtoAndy ?IguessIdeser veit
.Icriedso
hardunt i
lIfeltl
ikemyheadwasgoi ngt o
explode.Ifeltli
kemyhear thasbeenr ippedout
ofmybody .Thisist oomuch.May beitst i
meI
die.Idonotdeser vet obehappy.Imusthav e
fall
enasleepbecauseIwokeupt ojohnshaki ng
me.Iopenedmyey esandtheyfel
tsoheav y.
 
John:
youshoul
dst
opdoi
ngt
hist
oyour
sel
f.
Il
ookedathi
m def
eat
ed.
 
Me:
johnwhy
?Whywoul
dyoudot
hist
ome?
John:
whatar
eyout
alki
ngabout
?
Me:
hav
eInotbeenagoodwi
fet
oyou?
 
John:
Idon'
tunder
stand,
whatdi
dIdo?
Me:
youar
echeat
ingonmej
ohn.
John:
Iwoul
dnev
erdot
hatt
oyou.
Hehadt heaudaci
tyt
oli
etomyface,
howdar e
he.If
inall
yfel
tsomuchragei
nme.Islapped
hi
m.
Me:doIl
ookst
upi
dtoy
ou?Isawt
hemessages
ony
ourphonej
ohn.
 
John:howdar ey
ougothroughmyphoneEmi
l
y?
Don'tIdeser
vepri
vacyi
nthishouse?
Me:t
hat
'snott
hepointj
ohn,y
ouarecheat
ing
onme.Whywouldyoudothattome?Why
woul
dhurt
..
Icouldn'
tfi
nishthesent
ence,
Ijustbr
okedown
andcr i
ed.Thishur
tsomuch,Icouldnev
er
beli
evethatjohnwil
ldothi
stome.
John:
babyI'
m sorr
y,i
twasaonenightstand.I
wasdrunk,
Idi
dn'tmeanitbabyI
'
m sorr
y. 
Me:
am Inotwomanenoughf
ory
ou?I
sthati
t?
John:
Imadeamist
akebaby
,pl
easef
orgi
veme.
YouknowhowmuchIlov
eyou.
 
Me:
doy
oul
oveher
?
John:
no?
Me:
cal
lhernow?
John:babypl
easel
etmehandl
eit
.Ipr
omi
sei
ts
over
.
Me: johnIsaidcal
lhernowandputheron
speaker .Iwanty
outotell
herthatyouwant
nothingt odowit
hhereveragain.Onl
ythenwi
l
l
Iforgivey ou.
John:
OK 
Hetookhi
sphoneandcall
edher.Sheanswered
andthewaysheanswer
edbrokemyhear tt
o
pi
eces.
John:l
i
stenNel ,
whatwehadwasjustsexand
i
tmeantnot hi
ngtome.Ilov
emywi f
eandI
wantnothi
ngt odowit
hyouanymore.Never
cal
lmeort extmeeveragai
n.I
tsov
er.
Hedi
dn'
tevengiveherachancet
orespondand
hedr
oppedthecall
.
Me:
giv
emey
ourphone.
John:
itsmyphoneEmi
l
y.
Me:
doy
ouwantadi
vor
ce?
John:
noIdon'
t.
Me:OKgiv
emey
ourphone,
Iwantt
odel
eteher
number
.
Hegavehisphone,Ibl
ockedhernumberfr
om
cal
l
ing,
texti
ng,onwhatsapp.Idel
etedt
he
numberandgav ehi
mthephone.
Me:
doy
oul
ovemej
ohn.
John:of
couseIdo.Ipr
omi
seIwi
l
lnev
erhur
t
youagai
n.
Icri
edsomemor e,hehuggedme.Iletitallout
.
Idon'
tknowwhatcameov ermeandIki ssed
him.Thekissedwasrushed,bef
oreIknewi tI
wasont opofhim.Iwasridi
nghim.
John:
ohy
esbaby
.
Me:
ist
hishowyoul
i
kei
tbaby
?Di
dshegi
vei
t
t
oyoul
ikethi
s?
John:
babyst
op.
Me:
whyshoul
dIst
op?I
sn'
tthi
swhaty
ouwant
?
Iconti
nuedt
omov eonhim sofast
,hetri
ed
taki
ngmeofhim butIcont
inuedunt
ilhecame.
Igotofhim.
 
John:
Inevermeanttohur
tyoubaby
,Idon'
t
knowwhatcameov erme.
Me:
getout
.
John:
babypl
easewecansor
tthi
sout
.
Me:getoutj
ohn,
Inev
erwantt
oseey
ouev
er
agai
n.I
tsover
.

#Cami
l
o

WhenIgotbackt osouthAf
ri
caIwasmetwi t
h
greatnewsthatj
ohnandhiswif
ewere
separat
ed.Ihadnothi
ngagai
nsthi
swife,
hell
I
don'tevenknowherbackgr
oundthatwel
lbutI
knewt hatjohnl ovesherwi thallhishear t.The
wayhet alkedabouther ,youcoul dseet hathe
ador edher .SoIknowwomanl i
keEmi ly,t
here
i
snowayt hatshewi lleveragreet osl eepwi th
meunl essshei sv erybroken.It r
iedusi ngl ove
potiononherbuti tfail
eddr asti
call
y .Shei sa
womanoff aithsosucht hingsdon' twor kon
her.Iknowi fIsleepwi thherandi mpr egnat e
her,itwillhur tjohnbey ondwor ds.Heneedst o
payf orthepai nhecausedme.Hehasbeen
l
ivingwi tht hatst upidgirlneli
ssashet hinksI'm
stupid.Iknowexact l
ywhatshehasbeenupt o.
Shehasj ustbeendoi ngmydi r
tywor kforme.I
knowbynowEmi lymustbei nsomuchpai n
andhear tbr eakandIwi llbetheretocomf ort
her.Butf ir
stIwi llhavetodeal withnel issa,I
knowt hatsheat t
empt edonmyl ifeandnoone
doubl ecrossesmeandl i
vest oseeanot herday .
[
03/
05,
09:
11]Ron:
Att
hef
li
psi
deofkar
ma
I
nser
t48

#Emi
l
y

Havey ouev erwentt obedandnotwantt o

wakeup?Hav ey oueverfel
tli
ket henight
shouldn'tend?Thesunshoul dn'tshi
ne?Hav e
youev erfel
tt hatkarmaisknocki ngatyour
door?Wel lIhav eandkar madi danumberon
me.Ipai dmor ethenenoughf ormysi ns.Iwas
youngandImadeami st
ake.Iwi shIcouldtur
n
backt hehandsoft i
me.May beIcoul dhav e
madeadi ff
er entdeci
sion.It
riedcalli
ngjohnfor
somet i
menowbuthewontanswer .IknowI
waswr ongt ochasehim outbuthei smy
husband.Il ovehi m.
 
Aur
ora:
mommyar
eyoucr
ying?
Me:
nobabymommyi
snotcr
ying.
Aur
ora:
I'
m hungr
y.
Me:
letmommygomakey
ousomet
hingt
oeat
.
Wewentdownst ai
rstotheki tchen.Ireali
sed
thatwehav enotdoneanygr ocer yshopping.Al
l
wehadi nthehousewascer eal.Imademy
babycer ealandIwenttogetr eadyt ogo
shoppi ng.It
ookmycarkey sandwal l
et.Ifound
aur orawasdoneeat i
ng.Wewentt ocheckers
hy pertogodomyshoppi ng.Iputaur orainthe
trolleyandstar
tedtotakeev erythi
ngthatIneed.
WhenIwasdoneIwentt opay .
Cashi
er:
sor
ryy
ourcar
dhasbeendecl
i
ned.
Me:
ther
emustbeami
stake,
pleaset
ryagai
n.
Cashier
:sor
rymam It
ri
ed3t
imes,
ithasbeen
decl
ined.
Me:
letmegot
otheATM t
odr
awt
hemoney
.
JohnandIhav eajoi
ntaccountt
hatweusual
ly
usetoshopandt her
ewasal otofmoneyi
n
thataccount.Iguessmaybethemachinei
snot
workingproperly
.IwenttothebankandIt
ri
ed
todraw3000buti twouldn'
tcomeout.I
decidedtodoast at
ementandt hebal
ancewas
0.00.Thiscan'tbehappening,soIwenti
ntothe
bankandt heconsul t
anttol
dmet hatj
ohn
withdrewallthemoneyi ntheaccount
.Howcan
hebesoev i
l?Whatabouthi schil
d?Whatisshe
supposet oeat?IguessImar ri
edamonster.I
drovet ogr
anny '
shouse.ThemomentIgoti n,I
j
ustbr okedown.Gr annysentaurorat
oher
room.Shecamet ositnexttomeandgav eme
hug.
Gr
an:
ohmybabywhat
'
swr
ong?
Me:
hei
scheat
ingonme.
Gr
an:
arey
ousur
eit
snotanot
hersetup?
Me:nogr
anny,
itsnot
.Ireadt
hei
rmessageson
hi
sphoneandheadmitt
edtome.
Gr
an:
ohmyGod,
whati
sgoi
ngonwi
tht
hatboy
.
Me:
Idon'
tknow,
Idon'
tev
enknowwher
ehei
s.
Gr
an:
didhel
eav
eyouj
ustl
i
ket
hat
?
Me:
Iki
ndofchasedhi
m out
.
Gran:ohmychi l
d,Idon'
tsuppor
twhathedidt
o
youbutmychi l
dy oudon'
tchaseouty
ourman
unlessyouwantnothingmoretodowithhi
m.Is
thatthecase?
Me:nogr
anny,
Ilovehi
m somuch.Ev
ent
hough
hehur
tme.Ist
il
llov
ehim.
Gran:Iknowy oudo,heisafoolt
otreaty
ouli
ke
thi
sI'm gonnastr
aight
enhim out
.Haveyou
call
edhim?
Me:yesIhavebuthewon'
tanswer
.Iev
ensent
hi
m messagesbuthewon'
tanswer.
 
Gr
an:l
etmecal
lhi
m,hewi
l
lhav
etol
i
stent
o
me.
Shecal
ledhi
m somanyt
imesbuthedi
dn'
t
answer
. 
Me:
grannycanauror
ast
ayher
epl
ease,
Ineed
t
osortsomestuf
f.
Gr
an:
youdon'
thav
etoaskbaby
,youknowhow
muchIlov
eher.Don'
tyouwantt
ost
ayher
etoo?
Youshoul
dn'
tbealone.
Me:i
tsOKgranny,
Iwill
comel at
erbutr
ight
nowIhav
ethingstosortout
.
Gr
an:Im al
waysher
eforyoui
fyouneedme.I
wi
llpr
ayforbot
hofyou.
 
Ilef
tgr anny'
shouseandIr eali
sedthatIneedt o
l
ookf oraj ob.Ican'tleav
elikethisanymore.I
hadabout500l eftinmywal let
.Idrovehome
andIt ookoutt helaptopandIst art
edcompi l
ing
myCV.It hensenti touttocompani eshoping
thattheywi l
ltakemewi t
houtexper i
ence.

#Cami
l
o

Thisrevenget hi
nghast akenoveral
lmylife.I
couldn'
tthi
nkst rai
ghtorsleepwell
.Ineeded
thistobeov ersothatIscanmov eonwi t
hmy
l
ife.Ipr
omi sedSophiathatIwouldavengeher
deathandIwon' tstopuntili
tisdone.Iwentt o
mywar drobeandIt ookoutashoebox.It ook
outherphot o.Shewassobeaut if
ul,ful
lofli
fe.I
misshersomuch.Johnmustf eelthepainof
someonehel ovessuf ferphysi
callyand
emotionall
y .Oncet hatpoti
onthatbi t
chnelissa
gavehim wear sof ftheneveryt
hinghedi dtohi s
wifewil
lcomer ushingback.Thegui l
t,t
he
shame.Knowi ngthatIsleptwithhi swifeand
tr
eatedherl ikeshi tandlastl
ywat chingthelove
ofhisli
fedi e.Iwontneedt okillhi
m af t
erthis.
Hewi l
ldoi thimsel f.ItookoutmyphoneI
cal
lednelissa.
Her
:hi
Me:
hihowar
eyou?
Her:I
'
m bet
tert
hanOK,ev
eryt
hinghasgone
accor
dingt
oplan.Hei
swit
hmef ull
timenow.
Me:
that
'sgoodbuty
oushoul
dn'
tgetusedt
oit
.
Her:
whatdoy
oumean,
isn'
tthi
swhaty
ou
wanted?
Me:yesbutyouhav
eplayedyourpar
t.Thi
swas
onl
ysupposetobeforf
unremember?
Her
:IknowbutIl
ovehi
m.
Me:Idon'
tcare,
younowhav
eaccesstohi
s
money,t
akeital
landl
eav
ehim.Youhave5
day
s.
Her:pl
easecami
lodon'
tdothist
ome,Idon'
t
needthemoneyanymore.Il
ovehi
m.
Me:wehadadeal.Hedoesn'
tl
oveyou.Hei
s
onl
ywit
hyoubecauseofthel
ovepoti
onyouar
e
usi
ngonhi
m.
Her
:howdoy
ouknowt
hat
?
Me: dearI'
m notstupid,Iknowev er
ythingyou
havebeendoi ng.Iknowy ouwerenev er
pregnant.Youdidy ourpar t
.Ify
ouwantt oli
ve
takethemoneyandgo.Youhav e5day s.
Idr
oppedthecal
l
.Thiswomanwil
lnotdest
roy
myplannow.Shedoesn'
tknowme.
Inser
t48
#Emi
l
y

Havey ouev erwentt obedandnotwantt o

wakeup?Hav ey oueverfel
tli
ket henight
shouldn'tend?Thesunshoul dn'tshi
ne?Hav e
youev erfel
tt hatkarmaisknocki ngatyour
door?Wel lIhav eandkar madi danumberon
me.Ipai dmor ethenenoughf ormysi ns.Iwas
youngandImadeami st
ake.Iwi shIcouldtur
n
backt hehandsoft i
me.May beIcoul dhav e
madeadi ff
er entdeci
sion.It
riedcalli
ngjohnfor
somet i
menowbuthewontanswer .IknowI
waswr ongt ochasehim outbuthei smy
husband.Il ovehi m.
 
Aur
ora:
mommyar
eyoucr
ying?
Me:
nobabymommyi
snotcr
ying.
Aur
ora:
I'
m hungr
y.
Me:
letmommygomakey
ousomet
hingt
oeat
.
Wewentdownst
air
stot
heki
tchen.Ir
eal
i
sed
thatwehav enotdoneanygr oceryshopping.Al
l
wehadi nthehousewascer eal
.Imademy
babycer ealandIwenttogetr eadytogo
shoppi ng.It
ookmycarkey sandwal l
et.Ifound
aur orawasdoneeat i
ng.Wewentt ocheckers
hy pertogodomyshoppi ng.Iputaurorainthe
trolleyandstar
tedtotakeev ery
thi
ngthatIneed.
WhenIwasdoneIwentt opay .
Cashi
er:
sor
ryy
ourcar
dhasbeendecl
i
ned.
Me:
ther
emustbeami
stake,
pleaset
ryagai
n.
Cashier
:sor
rymam It
ri
ed3t
imes,
ithasbeen
decl
ined.
Me:
letmegot
otheATM t
odr
awt
hemoney
.
JohnandIhav eaj ointaccountthatweusuall
y
uset oshopandt herewasal otofmoneyi n
thataccount .Iguessmay bethemachi nei
snot
wor kingproperly.Iwentt othebankandIt r
ied
todr aw3000buti twouldn'
tcomeout .I
decidedt odoast atementandt hebalancewas
0.00.Thiscan' tbehappeni ng,soIwentintothe
bankandtheconsultanttol
dmet hatj
ohn
withdr
ewallthemoneyi ntheaccount
.Howcan
hebesoev i
l?Whatabouthi schil
d?Whati
sshe
supposetoeat?IguessImar ri
edamonster
.I
drovetogr
anny '
shouse.ThemomentIgotin,I
j
ustbrokedown.Grannysentaur orat
oher
room.Shecamet ositnexttomeandgav eme
hug.
Gr
an:
ohmybabywhat
'
swr
ong?
Me:
hei
scheat
ingonme.
Gr
an:
arey
ousur
eit
snotanot
hersetup?
Me:nogr
anny,
itsnot
.Ireadt
hei
rmessageson
hi
sphoneandheadmitt
edtome.
Gr
an:
ohmyGod,
whati
sgoi
ngonwi
tht
hatboy
.
Me:
Idon'
tknow,
Idon'
tev
enknowwher
ehei
s.
Gr
an:
didhel
eav
eyouj
ustl
i
ket
hat
?
Me:
Iki
ndofchasedhi
m out
.
Gr
an:
ohmychi
l
d,Idon'
tsuppor
twhathedi
dto
youbutmychi l
dyoudon'
tchaseouty
ourman
unlessyouwantnot
hingmoretodowithhi
m.I
s
thatthecase?
Me:nogr
anny,
Ilovehi
m somuch.Ev
ent
hough
hehur
tme.Ist
il
llov
ehim.
Gran:Iknowy oudo,heisafoolt
otreaty
ouli
ke
thi
sI'm gonnastr
aight
enhim out
.Haveyou
call
edhim?
Me:yesIhavebuthewon'
tanswer
.Iev
ensent
hi
m messagesbuthewon'
tanswer.
 
Gr
an:l
etmecal
lhi
m,hewi
l
lhav
etol
i
stent
o
me.
Shecal
ledhi
m somanyt
imesbuthedi
dn'
t
answer
. 
Me:
grannycanauror
ast
ayher
epl
ease,
Ineed
t
osortsomestuf
f.
Gran:
youdon'
thavetoaskbaby
,youknowhow
muchIlov
eher.Don'
tyouwanttost
ayheret
oo?
Youshoul
dn'
tbealone.
Me:i
tsOKgranny,
Iwill
comel at
erbutr
ight
nowIhav
ethingstosortout
.
Gr
an:Im al
waysher
eforyoui
fyouneedme.I
wi
llpr
ayforbot
hofyou.
 
Ilef
tgr anny'
shouseandIr eali
sedthatIneedt o
l
ookf oraj ob.Ican'tleav
elikethisanymore.I
hadabout500l eftinmywal let
.Idrovehome
andIt ookoutt helaptopandIst art
edcompi l
ing
myCV.It hensenti touttocompani eshoping
thattheywi l
ltakemewi t
houtexper i
ence.

#Cami
l
o

Thisrevenget hi
nghast akenoveral
lmyl i
fe.I
couldn'
tthi
nkst rai
ghtorsleepwell
.Ineeded
thistobeov ersothatIscanmov eonwi thmy
l
ife.Ipr
omi sedSophiathatIwouldav engeher
deathandIwon' tstopunt i
li
tisdone.Iwentto
mywar drobeandIt ookoutashoebox.It ook
outherphoto.Shewassobeaut if
ul,ful
lofli
fe.I
misshersomuch.Johnmustf eelthepainof
someonehel ovessufferphysi
callyand
emotional
ly.Oncet hatpoti
onthatbi t
chnelissa
gavehim wear sofftheneveryt
hinghedi dtohi s
wifewil
lcomer ushingback.Thegui l
t,t
he
shame.Knowi ngthatIsl
eptwithhi swifeand
tr
eatedherlikeshitandlastl
ywat chingthelove
ofhisli
fedie.Iwontneedt okillhi
m af t
erthis.
Hewi l
ldoithimsel f
.ItookoutmyphoneI
cal
ledneli
ssa.
Her
:hi
Me:
hihowar
eyou?
Her:I
'
m bet
tert
hanOK,ev
eryt
hinghasgone
accor
dingt
oplan.Hei
swit
hmef ull
timenow.
Me:
that
'sgoodbuty
oushoul
dn'
tgetusedt
oit
.
Her:
whatdoy
oumean,
isn'
tthi
swhaty
ou
wanted?
Me:
yesbuty
ouhav
epl
ayedy
ourpar
t.Thi
swas
onl
ysupposet
obef
orf
unr
emember
?
Her
:IknowbutIl
ovehi
m.
Me:Idon'
tcare,
younowhav
eaccesstohi
s
money,t
akeital
landl
eav
ehim.Youhave5
day
s.
Her:pl
easecami
lodon'
tdothist
ome,Idon'
t
needthemoneyanymore.Il
ovehi
m.
Me:wehadadeal.Hedoesn'
tl
oveyou.Hei
s
onl
ywit
hyoubecauseofthel
ovepoti
onyouar
e
usi
ngonhi
m.
Her
:howdoy
ouknowt
hat
?
Me: dearI'
m notstupid,Iknowev er
ythingyou
havebeendoi ng.Iknowy ouwerenev er
pregnant.Youdidy ourpar t
.Ify
ouwantt oli
ve
takethemoneyandgo.Youhav e5day s.
Idr
oppedthecal
l
.Thiswomanwil
lnotdest
roy
myplannow.Shedoesn'
tknowme.
[
03/
05,
09:
11]Ron:
Att
hef
li
psi
deofkar
ma
I
nser
t49

#Emi
l
y

Twoday shav epassedandnoj obof ferbutI

won' tgi
veup, it
sagoodt hingwegav ewi f
iat
home.Iwoul dn'
taffordtogot ot hesei nt
ernet
cafe'severyday.Iknowi hav emymot herand
brotherbutIcan'tbothert hem withmy
problems.Ibr oughtthisuponmy selfandIwi l
l
sufferquietl
yunt i
lkarmadeci dest oleaveme
al
one.Al ifewasl ostbecauseofme, Iwas
stupidtobelievethatitwasnotgonnacome
backt ohauntme.Ikeptonsendi ngmyCV
whenIgotacal l,i
twasal andli
ne.
Me:
hal
l
o
Voi
ce:goodaft
ernoon,
am Ispeaki
ngt
oMr
s
Emi
lyAbraham?
Me:
yes,
youar
e.HowmayIhel
pyou?
Voice:mynameisHannast eelandI'
m call
ing
youonbehalfR&M corpor
ation.Iwoul
dliketo
i
nviteyouforani
nter
viewtomor rowat10am.
Wil
l t
hatbeconveni
entforyou?
Me:
yesi
twi
l
l.
Hanna:
OKIwil
lsendy
oual
lthedet
ail
sand
addr
essvi
aemail
.
Me:
thanky
ouv
erymuch.
 
Hanna:
seey
out
omor
rowby
e.
Me:
bye.
Thankyoulord,
atl
easti
fIcanstar
tworki
ngI
cantakecareofmydaughter
.Iwon'
tdependon
amanev eragai
ninmylif
e.

#Cami
l
o

Fi
nal
l
ythet
imehascomef
orpayback.Ist
il
l
rememberthedayIf
oundSophi
aly
ingi
napool
ofbl
oodli
keitwasyest
erday
.

*
flashback*
Me:
Sophybabywhathappened?
Shewassohy
ster
ical
,shewasi
nsomuchpai
n.
Her
:I'
m sor
rycami
l
o,Iwant
edt
ogetr
idofi
t.
Me:
getr
idofwhat
?Whathappenedt
oyou.
Her:Ihadanabor
ti
on,
hewant
snot
hingt
odo
wit
hme.
Me:
who?
Her:herj
ohnAbr
aham, myboy f
ri
end.He
dumpedmecami l
o.Ican'
ttaketheshameof
car
ryingachi
l
dwithoutafather
.
Shewasgett
ingweak.Shehaslostsomuch
bl
ood.Ir
ushedhert
ot hehospi
tal
.Iwai
tedf
or
hour
s.
Doc:
didy
ouknowy
oursi
sterwaspr
egnant
?
Me:
yes,
Ijustf
oundout
.
Doc:well
shetr
iedt
ohav
eanabor
ti
onandl
ost
alotofbl
ood.
Me:
pleasedoct
orsav
eher
,she'
sal
lIhav
e.
Doc:I
'
m sor
ry,
wet
ri
edal
lwecoul
dbutwel
ost
her
.
Me:
pleasedoct
orno.
*
endoff
lashback*
Icouldfeelthet earsthreat eningbutIcan'tlet
them overtakeme.I 'veal
r eadycr iedsomuch.
It
stimef orpay backnow.Shewasj ust10when
ourparentsdi ed.Iwor kedsohar dtogivehera
bett
erli
fe.Shewasmyev er y
thing.Ihadso
manypl ansf orher .Johntookherf r
om meand
Iwil
ltakeev erythinghehas.Igotr eadytogo
andgivehisDar l
ingwi feav i
sit.Igottohis
houseandknockedandsheopened.Shei sso
beauti
ful.
Her
:hi
,comei
n.
Me:
thanky
ou.
Her
:johnnol
ongerl
i
vesher
e.
Me:Ihear
d,Ij
ustcametoseehowy
ouar
e
doi
ng.MayIhaveasit
?
Her:sur
e,I'
m sor
ryformymanners,
Ihav
enot
beenmy sel
f.CanIgetyouany
thi
ngtodr
ink?
Me:
itsOKIunder
stand,
not
hanky
ouI
'
mfi
ne.
Her
:OKhowcanIhel
pyou?
Me:I'
mjustconcer
nedabouty
ou,
howhav
eyou
been?
Her
:it
spai
nful
buti
m get
ti
ngt
her
e.
Me:i
fyouaskmeJohnisafool
todot hi
stoa
womanli
keyou,Imeanhei
smyf r
iendbutI
'm
sodi
sappoi
ntedi
nhim.
Her
:thanky
ouf
ory
ouki
ndwor
dsIappr
eci
atei
t.
Me:
ther
e'ssomet
hingIwantt
oshowy
ou.
It
ookoutmyphoneandshowedherpicturesof
j
ohnandnel
.Iknowsheknowsthatnelkil
l
ed
herbabies.Iwantt
ogett
hatr
eact
ion.Iwant
herbrokenthenIcanmakemymov e.
Her
:shei
sthewomanwhoki
l
ledmybabi
es.
Me:
what
?How?
Sheexpl
ainedtomewhatIal
readyknew.Ij
ust
act
edsurpri
sed.
Me:ohmyGod.I '
mr eal
lysorry.Iwar
nedj
ohn
aboutherbuthewouldn'
tli
sten.
Shebrokedownandcr ied.Therenowt hat
's
whatIwant.Icomfort
edher ,nowi t
stimefor
met omakemymov e.Ikissedher ,
ohthose
l
ipsaresosoft.Toobadshewi l
lhavetodie.
Sheresi
stedforsometimeandki ssedmeback.
JustwhenIthoughtIhadher .Shepushedme.  
Her:
I'm notsomecheapgi
rlt
haty
out
hinky
ou
cantakeadvantageofmypai
n.
Me: I
'
m sorr
y,Idi
dn'
tmeantoo.Ilov
ey ouEmi
l
y.
Ihaveforaveryl
ongti
me.Pleasegivemea
chance.Iwi
llt
akegoodcar
eofy ou.
Her:Idontneedamant
otal
kcar
eifme.Get
outofmyhouse.
Me:
pleaseEmi
l
ydon'
tdot
his.
Her
:GETOUTOFMYHOUSENOW!

#Nel
i
sa

I'
mv er ywor riedaboutcami lo,afterwhatIwent
throught ogetj ohnwi thme.I '
m notgoi ngt olet
himt akeev er yt
hingawayf rom me.Thi ngswer e
nowgoi ngmyway ,thankst oj ohn'sstupidwi f
e,
shechasedhi mr i
ghti ntomyar ms.I'm maki ng
suret heIputmedi cinei nev erymeal Igi v
ehim
sohedoesn' tgobackt oherunt i
lIcansacr if
ice
thi
sbaby .YesIf oundoutt hatI '
m pregnant .I
tri
edt okillcami l
ousi ngspi ri
tualmeansbuthe
i
sj usttost rong.Ihadt ofinishhi m offmy sel
f.I
gotready ,Ineedt odot his.Ican' tlosej ohn,I
j
ustcan' t.Iwal kedtot hel oungeandIf ound
j
ohnwat
chi
ngt
v.
John:
babewher
ear
eyougoi
ng?
Me:
I'
m goi
ngt
othemal
lI'
m comi
ngnow.
John:
letmegowi
thy
oubaby
.
Me:
Iwon'
tbel
ongj
ustwat
chTV.
John:
Ican'
tIwi
l
lmi
ssy
out
oomuch.
Thesideaffectsofthi
slovepot
ionisreal
l
y
gett
ingonmyner v
es.Johnnowf oll
owsme
ever
ywher e.Iguessit
sasmal l
priceIhavet
o
payfortheloveofmyl i
fe.
Me:
OKgochangey
oucan'
tgowi
thmel
i
ket
hat
.
John:
OK 
Iwait
edf orhi
mt odisappearintheroom andI
ranaway.Ihadtodot his.Johnwillj
ustdest r
oy
ever
ythi
ng.Icall
edcami loandaskedhi mt o
meetmei naall
ey.Imadehi m bel
ievethatI
wasrunningawaywi thjohn'
smoney .Igotthere
andwaited.Aft
ersomet i
mehear riv
edal one.
Wellheismorestupi
dthanIt
hought
.Hegot
outofthecarandcametome.
Hi
m:Ihopet
hisi
simpor
tant
,Iwasbusy
.
Ipul
ledagunandpoi
ntedi
tathi
m.Iwasnot
abouttowast
eti
me.
Hi
m:putt
hatgundownl
i
ttl
egi
rl
. 
Me:
don'
tmov
eorIwi
l
lshooty
ou.
Hel
aughedsol
oud.
Hi
m:I
'
m notaf
rai
dofy
ou.
Me:Ican'
tl
ety
out
akej
ohnawayf
rom me.I
l
ovehim.
Hi
m:hei
snoty
our
stobegi
nwi
th.
Me:
Isai
ddon'
tmov
e.
Hekeptmovingtowar
dsme,Igotreadytopull
thet
ri
ggerwhenashotwentofff
rom behind
andIwasingrav
epainonthefl
oor.
Him:y
outhi
nkyoucanoutsmartme?Ihav
e
beeni
nthi
sgameforaveryl
ongti
me.
Hecamet
omeandt
ookmygunt
henpoi
ntedi
t
atme.
Me:
pleasedon'
tki
l
lme,
Iwi
l
lleav
eIpr
omi
se.
Hi
m:Itol
dyouwhatwil
lhappenify
oudoubl
e
cr
ossme.Ial
wayskeepmywor d.
Ihear
danot
hergunshot
.Ithi
tmyhead.
[
03/
05,
09:
11]Ron:
Att
hef
li
psi
deofkar
ma

I
nser
t50

#Emi
l
y

Iam soangryatcamilo,whodoeshet hinkIam.

Justbecausejohncheateddoesn'tmeanIcan
dot hesamet ohi
m.Iam t r
yingsohardtohate
him butIj
ustcan'
t.Il
ov ehim somuch.Imiss
him.Howi sitnor
mal forsomeonetolovea
personthathashurtyousomuch.Especi al
l
y
cheat ingonmewi tht hewomanwhoki ll
edmy
ki
ds.May bet heyhel pedeachot her .Hecoul d
hav ejustl ef tme, i
nst eadofwast ingmypoor
babiesl i
fe's.Theydi dn' tgetachance.Ij ust
hav etogetmyl i
fet oget herforthesakeofmy
daught er.Ifjohndoesn' twantourmar ri
age
any mor ei tsOK.Iwentt otakeal ongshower .I
cri
edast hewat erhitmybody .Ipr omi sed
my selft hatt hemi nut eIst epoutoft heshower .
I'
l
l stopcr yingandIwi ll
best rong.Iwi l
lturnmy
l
ifear ound.Igotoutoft heshoweranddr essed
i
nar edbusi nesssui tandbl ockheel s.Istyled
myl ongbl ackhai r
.Il ookedmysel fint hemi r
ror
afterappl yingmi nimal makeup.Iwentdown
stairs.It ookmypaper sandIwentt omycar
andIdr ov eof ftomyi nter
v i
ew.Iar rived
mi nutesl at erandIgoti ntot hebui l
dingandI
mademywayt or ecept ion.Thispl acei sjust
beaut iful.Itlooksv eryf ancyandi twi l
lbeni ce
wor kingher e.
Me:
goodmor
ning.
Recep:
goodmor
ning,
howmayIhel
pyou?
Me:
I'
m her
eaf
ori
nter
view.
Recep:
pleaset
akeasi
t,I
'
llcal
lyousoon.
Isatonthechai
rsthatwereattherecepti
on
area.I
twassoelegant.Icoul
dreal
l
ypi ct
ure
my sel
fher
e.
Recep:
youcangothroughmam,
seconddoor
onyourri
ght
.Goodluck.
Iwalkedintowhatlookedl
ikeaboardr
oom.
Therewasawhi t
eLadysit
tingont
heothersi
de
ofthetable.ShestoodupasIappr
oached.
Me:
goodmor
ning.
Sheext
endedherhandIshooki
t.
 
Her
:goodmor
ningIam Pai
ge,
HRmanager
.
Me:
Nicet
omeety
ou,
I'
m Emi
l
yAbr
aham.
 
Her
:wecanst
artwi
ththei
nter
viewsol
ongbut
t
heCEOshoul
dbejoi
ningusanymomentnow.
Wet
alked,
Itol
dheraboutmy
sel
fandmy
educati
on.Sheisreall
yagoodwoman.Iwas
enj
oyinghercompanywhenamanwal kedi
n.I
l
ookedathim andmyey esalmostpoppedout.
Hehasn'tchangedatall.WhenIsawhim al
lthe
emotionswererunningwild.
 
Pai
ge:
MrsAbr
aham t
hisi
sMr
..
Icutherbef
oreshecoul
dfi
nish.
Me:
Mat
hew?Ican'
tdot
his.
Iranoutoftheoffi
ce,
Icouldn'
ttaket
heli
ftsoI
decidedtor
undownt hestair
s.Thepaint
hat
guycausedme.Icannottakeit.Whydidhelur
e
met othati
nter
view?

#j
ohn

Idon'
tknowwhathappenedtome, Ifel
tli
keI
wokeupf r
om atr
ance.Il
ookedaroundandi t
seemedli
keIwasinanapartmentofsome
sort
s.It
ri
edtothi
nkveryhardbutIcouldn'
t
remember .IstoodupandIt ookmyphonet o
callmywi f
e.May besheknowswhati s
happeni ng.ThemomentIt ookonest epIf el
ta
sharppai ninmyhead, If
eltl i
kesomet hinghit
mebutnot hingdi d.Ev eryt
hi ngcamer ushi ngin,
everythingIdid.Theemot ionswer ejustso
overwhel ming.Howcoul dIhav edonet hat?I
can'tbelieveit
.HowdoIbegi ntoaskmywi fe
forforgiveness.Ir emembert ell
ingthatgi rl
neli
ssaIwant ednot hingt odowi t
hher ,she
wasn'tev enmyt ype.Howdi dIendupher e.I
l
ookedf ormyWal let,Ifoundi tbutIcoul dn't
fi
ndmycarkey s.Ical ledanubert otakemet o
myhouse.Iwal kedi nandt hedoorwasopen.I
spottedhersi tt
ingonf loorint hecor nerand
shewascr ying.Ohmywor d.Seei ngherl i
ke
thatrippedmyhear tintoshr eds.Howcoul dIlet
thi
shappen.
Me:
baby
Shelookedatme.Shewassopal
ethatIcoul
d
l
it
erall
yseethr
oughher
.Shel
ookedatmeand
cri
edev enharder
.Iwenttoherandhuggedher.
Shedidn'tpushmeawayatl eastthatmeant
something.IheardsomeoneclapandIlooked
uptofindcami l
ostandi
nginfrontofus.
Cami
l
o:whatabeaut
if
ulsi
ght
.
Il
ookedathi m andIignoredhi m.Ididn'thave
ti
mef orhisgamesnow.Ij ustconcentratedon
mywi fe.Shewassobr oken.Sheaskedmef or
aglassofwat er.It
urnedar oundandCami lo
hadagunpoi ntedatus.Whati sgoingon?

Nar
rat
ed

JohnmetSophi ainthei
rfi
rstyearinuni
versi
ty.
Theystart
eddat ing.Johnl
ov edhersomuch
andhewaspl anningtopurposetoher.Theydid
ever
ythi
ngt ogether.Theywerewhaty oucall
theperf
ectcoupl e.Onedayaf t
erJohnspent
hourssearchingfortheperfectri
ngforhi
s
girl
fr
iend.Hewentt oherapartmenttosurpri
se
her.Hehadt ol
dherthathewasgoi nghomef or
theweekend.Hegoti ntheapart
mentbecause
hehadakey .Themi nutehegotin.Hecould
hearsexnoi sescomi ngfr
om theroom.He
wenti njustt ogettheshockofhisli
fe.His
girl
fr
iendwasbei ngfuckedbysomeguy .He
stoodt hereunnot i
cedforafewsecondsunt i
l
Sophianot icedhim.Hewasbey ondbroken.He
didn'
tev enknowwhatt odo.
 
Sophi
a:babypl
easeI
'
m sor
ry,
itwasabi
g
mist
ake.
John:
Amist
akeSophy
?Howi sget
ti
ngf
ucked
bysomeot
herdudeamist
ake?
Sophi
a:Iwasn'
tthi
nki
ngst
rai
ght
.Pl
easef
orgi
ve
me.
John:don'
tyouevercont
actmeagain.Iwant
nothi
ngtodowi t
hyoueveragai
n.Idon'
thave
ti
mef orwhores.
Hewal
kedoutandnev
erl
ookedback.Sophi
a
deci
dedt ohaveanabor t
ionbecauseshedid
notknowwhot hebaby '
sf at
herwas.Shewas
tooashamedt ot ell
herbrothert
hatshehad
beensleepi
ngar ound.Johnhadnoknowl edge
ofSophiabeingpr egnant.
[
03/
05,
11:
20]Ron:
Att
hef
li
psi
deofkar
ma

I
nser
t51
Fi
nal
 
#Emi
l
y

SeeingMathewagai nbroughtbackmemor i
es
thatIhadkeptburiedforalongtime.Thepain
hecausedme, Andy'
sdeath.Ithoughtthose
woundshav eclosedbutobv i
ouslyitdi
dn't
.Igot
homeandIj ustsatont hefl
oorandcr i
ed.I'
m
sureheknewi twasmet hat
'swhyhei nvi
ted
mef oranint
erview.Didn'
thehur tmeenough?
Doeshewantt ohumi li
atemeev enmor e.
Seei
ngJohnafteroveramont hmademesad.I
di
dn'
texpecttoseehim everagain.Hehugged
meandthatisallIneededatthemoment .
Camil
owaswi thhim.BeforeIknewwhatwas
goi
ngon,camilohadagunpoi ntedatus.
John:whatar
ey oudoi
ng?Putt
hatdownbef
ore
youhurtsomeone.I
tsnotf
unny
.
Hi
m:doIl
ookl
i
keI
'
m pl
ayi
ng?Si
tthehel
ldown.
Johnsatdown.IknowIdon'ttrustt
hiscamilo
guybutIwouldhaveneverthoughti
twillcome
tothi
s.Iwasscaredashell
.
John:
cami
l
oman,
itsmej
ohn.What
'sgoi
ngon.
Hi
m:youtookawayt
heonl
yper
sont
hatmeant
ev
ery
thi
ngtome.
John:
whatar
eyout
alki
ngabout
?
Hi
m:doest
henameSophi
ari
ngabel
l
?
Hethoughtf
orsomet
ime.Icoul
dseepai
ninhi
s
ey
es. 
John:IknewaSophi
aaf ewy
earsagobutI
haven'
tseenheri
nyear
s.Whatdoesshehav
e
todowi t
hthi
s.
Him:youki
ll
edherandnowy
oumustpayf
or
yoursi
ns.
John:
Ididnosuchthi
ng,Icaughtheri
nbed
wit
hsomeguyandIbr okeupwithher.Inev
er
sawhereveragai
n.
Hi
m:don'
tl
ieagai
nstmysi
ster
.
Therewasnothingbutpai
nandangeri nhis
eyes.Hepull
edt het
ri
ggerandIf el
tapai
ninmy
l
eftarm andbloodwaspouringout.Iscr
eamed.
Johnrushedtomeandputpr essur
eonmyar m.
John:pl
easecami
l
odon'
tdot
his.Let
'
stal
k
aboutit
.
Him:Ilostmyonl ysisterbecauseofyou.You
didn'
tsitdownandt alktoherwhenshet ol
d
youshewaspr egnant.Your ej
ectedherandshe
endedupdy ingwhilecommi tt
inganaborti
on.
John:Iswearman,
Idi
dn'
tknowshewas
pregnant
.
Hi
m:st
opl
yi
ngorshesuf
fer
s.
Heshotmeagainont heotherar
m.Thepai
n
wassounbear
able.Icri
ed.Johncri
edt
oo.
Hi
m:t
ell
met
het
rut
h.
John:OKI'm sor
rycamil
o,Ir
ejectedt
he
pregnancy
.Ididn'
tknowshewi l
lcommitan
aborti
on.
Him:nowyougonnaknowhowi tfeel
stol
ose
someoneyouloveandnotbeabletodo
somethi
ngaboutit
.
John:
pleasedon'
tdot
his,
shei
sinnocent
,ki
l
l
me 
Him:nowwher ei
sthefuninthat.Justt
hinkof
all
thepainyouputhert
hrough.Youabandoned
yourwif
etobewi t
hneli
sa.Youar esuchan
easytar
get.
John:
soy
ouwer
ebehi
ndt
heNel
i
sat
hing?
Him:yes,t
oobadshef el
li
nlovewi
thyou.SoI
hadtogetridofherli
keadidt
oLeah.Shame
poorgir
lspentalotofmoneyonwit
chdoctors
j
usttogetyou.Didyouknowsheki
ll
edy our
twi
ns?
John:
howcany oubesoev
il
,It
houghty
ou
werefr
iends 
Him:wehadnochoi ce,
Imustcommendy ou
haveawonder f
ulwif
e.Shecoveredyouin
pray
er.Andreall
ymadeourjobdiff
icul
t.Too
badherli
feisgoingt
owasteaway .Imusttel
l
yousheisloyal
.Youareoneluckyguy.
Hepointedthegunatme.Hei sveryunstable.I
madeasi l
entpr ay
er.Inev erthoughtthatmy
endwill
comet oanendl ikethis.Il
ookedat
j
ohn.Iusedall t
hestrengthi nmet okisshi m.
Forasecondt hereIforgotallthepain.Ijust
neededhimt ofeelhowmuchIl ovehim. 
Cami
l
o:st
opi
t,saygoodby
etoy
ourqueen.
Icl
osedmyey
esandIhear
dagunshot
.I
wai
tedformyendbutIf el
tnot
hing.Iopened
myeyesandIsawcami loonthefloor.Bl
ood
wasrunningoutf
rom t
hebackofmyhead.I
sawMat hewbydoorbeforei
twasl i
ghtsout
.

#John

Everythi
ngthathappenedj ustmademel osemy
mind.Iwassi tt
ingatthehospi t
al waitingroom
goingupanddown.Ev er
ythi
ngj ustfeltli
kea
baddr eam oramov i
e.Ispentsomucht ime
withcami l
o,hewasmybestf r i
end.It oldhim
everythi
ngandhewasusi ngt hattopl otmy
demi se.Howcansomeonebesowi cked?Ev en
afterevery
thingthathadhappenedIam st ill
sadt hatheisdead.Whydi dn'thej usttalkto
me, Iwouldhav etol
dhi m whathappened.Soal l
thi
swhi leIwaseat i
ngwi t
hthedev il
.Justt he
thoughtmademenauseous.Idon' tthinkIcan
everhav efr
iendsagain.Aboutt hatnel i
sagi r
l,
I'
mj ustspeechless.Ican'tbelievether
ear e
peoplelikeheroutthere.Togot osuchl engths
j
ustt ogetaman.Mypoorki ds,i
t smyfaultthey
aregone.IjusthopeEmi lyforgivesmewhen
shepul l
sthrough.Ican'timagi nelif
ewithout
her.IstoodupasIsawt hedoct orapproachme.
Doc:
MrAbr
aham
Me:
Doct
orhowi
smywi
fe?
Doc:wemanagedtoremovethebull
ets,
al
thoughshel
ostalotofbl
ood.Sheandthe
babywil
lmakeit
.
Me:
baby
?
Doc:
yourwi
fei
spr
egnant
.
Me:
thanky
oudoc,
whencanIseeher
?
Doc:
inaf
ewhour
s,she'
srest
ingnow.
 
Ifel
trel
iev
edasthedoctorlef
t.Myheartal
most
l
eftmybodyasIt houghtofwhatalmost
happenedtomywi feandbaby.ThankyouLor
d
fort
hesecondchanceandIpr omiseIwil
l
spendal
lmyl
i
femaki
ngmywi
fehappy
.
Mat
hew:
howi
sshe?
Ireal
isedthatthr
oughall
oft
hiscommotion,
I
haveneglectedtothankt
hemanthatsav
edmy
wife'
slif
e.
Me:I
'
m sorry
,shewil
lbejustfi
ne.Thankyouso
muchforwhatyoudi
dforus.Idon'tevenwant
t
othi
nkofwhatwouldhav ehappenedtomy
wi
feifyoudi
dn'
tcomealong.
Mat
hew:nopr
obl
em.Anyonewoul
dhav
edone
t
hesameinmyposi
ti
on.
John:t
hankyousomuchf orwai
ti
ngher
ebutit
wil
lbesometimebefor
eshewakesup.I'
m sur
e
yourwi
feiswait
ingf
oryou.
Mathew:act
ual
l
y,sheisonherwayher
e.I
fyou
don'
tmindIwoul
dliketowai
tti
l
lshewakesup.
Me:
OKnotapr
obl
em.
#Emi
l
y

Iwokeupwi thmyheadsoheav y,IknewIwas

i
nt hehospital.Iwakeupher esomucht hatI
thi
nkit'
saboutt i
meIst artpayi
ngr enthere.I
wasinal otofpai n.Ilookedaroundandt here
wasnoone.Myt hroatwassodr y
, soIpressed
thebuzzerfort henurset ocome.Secondsl ater
anursewal kedi nfoll
owedbyt hedoct or.
Doc:
MrsAbr
aham,
howdoy
ouf
eel
?
Me:
ifonlyi
hadar
andf
orev
eryt
imey
ouasked
methat
.
Doc:
humour
,suchagoodsi
gn.
Me:
Iwoul
dli
kesomewat
er.
Thenur
sewenttogetmewat erwhi
l
ethe
doct
orcheckedmyvi
ral
s.Idr
ankthewat
erl
i
ke
myli
fedependedoni
t.
 
Doc:ever
ythi
nglooksst
able,
I'
ll
keepyouher
e
forafewmor edaysj
usttobesure.
Me:
thanky
ou.
Doc:pl
ease,
Idon'
twantt
oseey
ouagai
nunt
il
youareduetodel
i
ver
.
Me:
del
i
ver
?
Doc:
ohsorr
y,congr
atul
ati
ons.Youar
e9weeks
pr
egnant
.
Withthatheleft.I
'
m pregnant?IknowI'm
supposetobehappybutwi thmyr ecor
dof
pregnanci
es.Icouldn'
thelpbutbesad.Af t
er
thedoctorl
eft.Johnwalkedin.
John:babyI'
mreal
lysor
ry,
Idi
dn'
tmeant
oput
youthroughal
loft
hat.
 
Me:it
sOKbaby,Iknowit
snotyourfaul
t.Ij
ust
can'
tbel
i
evepeoplecanbesoevi
l.
John:metoobutI
'
m gl
adt
heyar
eoutofour
l
ivesnow.
Me:I'
m gl
ady
ouback,
wemustst
artgoi
ngt
o
chur
ch.
John:your i
ghtbaby,Iwil
lgowit
hy ouever
y
Sunday.NowIseet hatt
hebatt
leisnolonger
fai
r.Wearef ight
ingagai
nstpowersand
pri
ncipal
i
ties.
Me:
yesbabyandonl
yGodcanpr
otectusf
rom
t
hat
. 
Heleaneddowntokissme,
ohImissedmy
husbandsomuch.IsawmattandRhondawal
k
i
n. 
Mat
t:howar
eyouf
eel
i
ng?
Me:
I'
m muchbet
ter
,thanky
ouf
orsav
ingme.
Mat
t:i
tsmypl
easur
e.
Me:Ihavet
oask,
whatwer
eyoudoi
ngi
nmy
house?
Mat
t:Ineededt
otal
ktoy
ou.
Me:
about
?
Matt
:IknowIcausedy ousomuchpain,
you
di
dn'
tdeser
veit
.Iletangerf
orbeaut
yconsume
me.Pl
easef
orgi
veme.
Me:ifyouwouldhav
ecomebefor
ethisi
ncident
Imighthavesai
dnobutnowIhav
eseenf i
rst
handwhatresent
mentdoest
oaperson.SoI
for
giveyou.
Mat
t:t
hanky
ouv
erymuch.
Rhondastart
edcrying.Ittur
nsoutthatMat t
andRhondagotmar r
iedbutt heywerenotable
toconcei
veforyearsev enthoughtheywere
bothfi
ne.Theyweret ol
dt hatmattneededto
fi
ndmeandaskf orforgiv
eness.Iti
struethat
karmaneverfor
getsanaddr ess.

1y
earl
ater

John:babyhurryup,wearegoi
ngt obelat
efor
thewedding.Youlookbeaut
if
ul.Justcomeout
l
et'
sgo.
Me:
I'
ll
ber
ightt
her
e.I
sjuni
orr
eady
?
John:wehavebeenr
eadyforhour
snow.We
wait
ingonyouandaur
ora.
Me:
don'
texagger
ate,
Ineedt
olookper
fect
.
John:
youar
eper
fectbaby
,nowcomeout
.
Me:
OKOK.
Icameoutoftheroom andwentt omeetmy
twoboys.Juni
ori
s4mont hsold.Heisaver
y
happybabyandhe'satotalphotocopyofhi
s
fat
her.
John:
youl
ookst
unni
ngbaby
,it
snotf
airont
he
bri
de.
Iwentt
oki
ssmyhusband.
Aur
ora:
ewww
Me:
don'
tbej
eal
ous.
Aur
ora:
Iwi
l
lnev
erdot
hatwhenIgetmar
ri
ed.
John:
youwon'
tgetmar
ri
edper
iod.
Ijustl
aughed,
johni
saver
yov
erprot
ect
ive
father
.Hedoesntev
enl
i
keAuror
atopai
nther
nail
s.Ifeel sorryforhim, hewi l
lgetgreyhair
whenAur oraisat een.Wemadeourwayt othe
car,beaut yisgetti
ngmar ri
edt odayandI'm her
mai difhonour .Youwi l
lbegladt oknowt hat
Rhondaandmat taref i
nall
yexpect i
ngtheirfi
rst
chil
d.Af t
ermat tsav edmyl i
fe,wehav eall
becomegoodf r
iends.Wehangoutal ot
together.I'
m gladt hatIwasabl etoletgooft he
pain,guil
tandanger .Ihav egonet hroughso
manypai nfulexperiencesinmyl i
febutIdonot
regretanyoft hem becauset heymademet he
womanIam t oday .Myadv iceisforgiveothers,
notbecauset heydeser veitjustsoy oudon't
endupl ikecami l
o.

#TheEnd#