Option 1: Personal identity narrative

Personal identity, according to Martin and Nakayama (8e), is defined as “who we think we are and
who others think we are”. It can be undeniable that family may be one of the greatest sources of influence on
one’s identity formation. However, personal identity is the sum of all identities such as gender, age, religion,
or class. Therefore, it is essential that one have a thorough understanding of themselves in order to have
effective communication and understand others better. This paper acts as a reflection on how my personal
identity is shaped based on national, ethnic, gender, age, and work identity during different stages of life.
First of all, I was born and raised in an extended traditional Vietnamese family, which took
traditions, customs, values, and behaviors into careful consideration. I was taught several lessons about
Vietnamese culture such as how to communicate respectfully with adults and older people, how to have a
good table manner when having meals, or how to worship my ancestors. To be more specific, from a very
young age, I was told a lot of past stories about how challenging it was for Vietnamese people to overcome
wars and of course, how poor my family was during that time. These stories appeared to remind me of my
industriousness and efforts to study in order to have a better life in the future. If I did not study well, I could
become a worker with low salary, which could hardly accommodate myself, not to mention my family. As a
result, I spent most of the time studying and trying to get a good academic profile to be identified as a good
student for 12 years. Besides, I am also saturated with knowledge about Vietnamese cultures such as “áo
dài”, “nón lá” or “phở”. Also, I learned about the story of “Kitchen God” (ông Táo) during Lunar New Year
and participated in preparing for this holiday annually. All the aforementioned experiences contributed
significantly to my national and ethnic identity – Vietnamese. I suppose that these two identities are the most
obvious ones that I own as I was born in Vietnam, I had a great exposure to Vietnamese culture in various
ways and I always felt that I belonged to this community.
Secondly, I am not a part of the heterosexual group, so gender identity, the identification with the
cultural notions of masculinity and femininity and what it means to be a man or a woman, may be one the
most influential factors that form my current personal identity, especially in Vietnamese context. I was
identified as “male” in my birth certificate right after coming out of my mother’s belly. Besides, my name
was selected in order to correspond to the “male” gender. From that moment on, I was given many items
which were assumed to belong to boys and also was incentivized to participate in some more masculine
activities such as playing football or playing video games rather than dancing or drawing. Almost every one
had an assumption that I was a boy, which led to an embedded notion in my mind that I had to behave and
act as a masculine person. In terms of communication style, I was requested by my parents to be competitive
and assertive. However, during my process of growing up, I found out that the way that I behaved, looked
and communicated conflicted with what I was supposed to be. At the age of 14, instead of having a
relationship with a girl as male classmates in my class, I fell in love with another. At that time, I did not
have the knowledge about gender and sexuality. Hence, I still tried to identify myself as a boy and tried to
have a relationship with a girl because for most of people in Vietnamese culture, it was unnatural for boys in
love with boys. At some point, I hate being a boy as I could hardly be myself, and hate being Vietnamese as
in some countries such as German or Australia, third gender is in legal recognition. The internal conflict
inside me did have certain impacts on my ways of communicating with others. With the perceptions of
gender in my nation, I had to try to be as masculine as possible so as not to lose the sense of belonging,
which usually made me exhausted. Nonetheless, with the development of humans, identity terms for gender
and sexualities are swiftly altering to meet the diversity of how people experience these identities, Vietnam
is not the exception. Although Vietnam has not yet given legal recognition to transgender or third gender
people, a number of people claim that each individual has the right to identify themselves as a gender that
suits them the best. Currently, I am more open with myself and other people, and I think that my ways of
communicating now are more flexible than in the past.
Thirdly, as all people get involved in the aging process, age identity, the identification with the
cultural conventions of how we should act, look, and behave according to our age, is considered to be one
principal factor contributing to one’s personal identity. Vietnam is considered an age-conscious nation as
asking about age may be one of the indispensable procedures in a conversation. People are normally
required to do it because, in Vietnamese, we have some pronouns such as “anh” “chị” or “em” to perceive
who is older. Back to the time I was in high school, the way I behaved was not in a good manner given that
my family had taught me a lot about that. In addition, the way I communicated with other people, especially
my fellow students, was aggressive and sometimes offensive. However, my communication style has altered
dramatically as I get older. Currently, I am not trying to be in the dominant role like in the conversations that
I had in the past, but I am still talking loudly and moderately aggressively. Besides, identified as a part of
Generation Z (born after 1996) (Parker, Graf, & Igielnik, 2019), I have a different way of communication in
comparison with those who are recognized as Silent Generation or Baby Boomers. For instance, “While
pluralities of nearly all generations (with the exception of the Silent Generation) say the U.S. is one of the
best countries in the world along with some others, Gen Zers and Millennials are the least likely to say the
U.S. is better than all other countries” (Parker, Graf, & Igielnik, 2019). This example illustrates that
different generations often have different philosophies, values, and ways of speaking, based upon very
different generational experiences.
Last but not least, people spend a substantial portion of their lives at work or do work-related
activities, so occupational identity is considered one of the major factors in forming one’s personal identity.
This is also true for me. During my growing-up process, I have been continuously told to be hardworking in
my studies and also recognized as a “good student”. As a result, I always focused on my studies and finally
won a seat at a prestigious university. After graduating from university, I successfully applied for a teaching
position in a private school. From that moment, I have been identified as a “teacher” and expected to be
careful and serious in my language. Also from that moment, there appeared some conflicts between my
identities. While the work identity requires me to be gentler, I myself want to use a loud voice in my own
way. This leads to the reconstruction of my personal identity to be a part of the teaching profession and not
lose my sense of belonging.
 In conclusion, identity formation is a complex process as it is related to various identities that one
person uses to communicate with others. Thanks to all the obstacles that I have faced in my life, I can see a
development in my personal identity both inside and outside. Besides, understanding and maintaining self-
identity is necessary and adjustments are inevitable.