Interpersonal communication

By Miguel Monserrat Díaz

Introduction

Good morning, I am Miguel Monserrat and today I am going to talk about interpersonal
communication. This is a subject of study of many philosophers and linguistics which we live
with every day. In this presentation, we will study the importance of interpersonal
communication, its skills, styles and how an effective communication is done.

Definition and importance

Interpersonal communication is the process by which people exchange information through

verbal and non-verbal messages.

It is important to form and maintain stable and sane relationships with family and friends, to
co-operate and to be, in its philosophical mean.

Our personality is defined through our relation with others, and we do that through the
process of interpersonal communication. By improving your concept on this subject you will
understand, not only others, but also yourself. “I am me because of my relationship with
others”.

Some of the main characteristics of interpersonal communication are: inescapable, because

we all must use it, irreversible, because we can not retrace your steps, complicated, as it is a
matter of study by many philosophers and linguists, and contextual, because in order to
understand any message well enough, there are circumstances and external facts to take into
account.

Interpersonal communication skills

They are Listening skills, communication skills and assertiveness. I will talk about three of

 Listening skills. To start with, listening is not hearing. Listening implies paying attention
to what you are hearing. Some of you are listening me right now but some others can
be just hearing me. Furthermore, it is not only about paying attention to the story, but
also to how it is told (the voice, the use of language…) and to the body language of
course. Listening requires you to focus on the speaker and concentrate, not just
hearing.
 Communication skills. It is the opposite to Listening skills, These are about how we
transmit the message to be understood, and it refers to face to face interpersonal
communication, so it implies body language, voice and the use of language.
 Assertiveness. This means to express your beliefs, thoughts and feelings in a honest,
direct and appropriate way. It means to be neither aggressive nor passive. This is quite
important in interpersonal communication, as it is a way to communicate while
respecting others feelings, expressing appreciation for others work and also to behave
as an equal.
In contrast, a passive attitude may leave you in an inferior position or it makes you
look like you do not care about the issue, while an aggressive attitude may hurt
 feelings or gives the impression that the work of others has no value. As the engineers
we want to be, an assertive attitude must be put forward when we lead a group of
employees.
 Verbal communication. These are skills related to the explicit meaning of the words
and sentences, which we have been studying in secondary school.
 Non-verbal communication. These are the facial expressions, the tone, the pitch of the
voice, the gestures and even the distance between communicators is a factor to take
into account. For example when the speaker is 10 cm from my face, it may be because
he wants to intimidate us, or tell a secret. That is also part of the information
transmitted in the process of interpersonal communication.

Interpersonal communication styles

These are the manners in which a person communicates the message and some of them are
going to be explained. In order to be effective in the communication process, we must not
adapt to one style but to choose the one that fit best for every situation.

 Dominant. It implies to speak with a self-confidence and strong tone, with a steady
voice. It often lacks of body language and it recurs to direct eye contact. It is great to
transmit stability and clear instructions.
 Dramatic. This style involves both physical and verbal communication and it consist in
using jokes and/or storytelling to communicate a message but while hiding it with
background information. It is perfect to tell bad news and to alleviate stress.
 Animated. It is about adding gestures and body language to the verbal message, so
emotions, support and/or agreement is well transmitted. Eye contact is another
common characteristic of this style.
 Opened. People who adopt this style are not afraid of expressing thoughts and
emotions, and it reveals personal information. Talkative and conversational are the
main adjectives to describe it.
 Others are Friendly, Relaxed, Impression-leaving and Contentious.

Effective communication

The Britannic philosopher Herbert Paul Griece studied how do we act when we want the
interpersonal communication process to be effective. He defined four maxims or pragmatic
principles.

 Quantity maxim. We give the receiver the information he requires in the appropriate
quantity, no more and no less. If we give them more than what he wanted, the
receiver will think that we misunderstood his intentions. In contrast, if we give him
less, he will not be satisfied and he will be annoyed.
 Quality maxim. It means that co-operation implies to say the true, so we do not affirm
something that is fake. This does not mean that we ignore that people can lie, but in
normal conditions we assume that the information given is true.
 Relevance maxim. There must be a correspondence between what we are talking
about and the interventions that anyone does during the conversation.
 Modality maxim. We cooperate when we express with the appropriate language: clear,
ordered and free of ambiguities and unknown technicalities. It must be brief too, that
is, to express something with the needed words, not to exceed.
 However, speakers do not always respect this cooperation maxims in conversations. So
when a speakers notes that other is not cooperating, he can deduct some conclusions.

Conclusion
To sum up, we have seen what is interpersonal communication and its importance: it is
essential to define us and to work and live with others. In addition, it has been analysed the
many skills (listening, communicating, assertiveness…) and styles (dominant, dramatic…). As
well as the aspects of an effective interpersonal communication process.