"On the other hand, materialists do not benefit more from material than from experiential consumption

due to unrealistic expectations, especially about the pleasure it affords and the impression it conveys"

"Numerous studies find a negative relation between materialism and well-being"

▪ Materialism is typically defined as the pursuit of status and happiness through the acquisition of
wealth and material possessions

▪ recent meta-analysis shows that higher levels of materialism are associated with lower levels of well-
being [4]. Perhaps materialists are spending their money in the wrong way

▪ Materialistic consumers seem to prefer purchasing products to purchasing experiences

▪ consumption of experiences may benefit well-being more than consumption of products for several
reasons

▪ First, because it is less straightforward to compare experiences, one may be less likely to feel one’s
experiences are inferior to that of one’s peers [11]. Second, experiences seem more self-expressive than
products [12]. Third, as one often enjoys experiences with other people [13] and people are more likely
to talk about one’s experiential rather than one’s material purchases [14], experiential consumption
may serve the satisfaction of the basic need of relatedness

▪ Finally, the advantages of experiential consumption are emphasized when the experience is shared
with other people, not when it is enjoyed in isolation, underscoring the importance of consumption
practices that both satisfy individual needs and facilitate social bonds [13].

▪ Several studies, however, indicate that materialism is negatively related to agreeableness and honesty-
humility [18, 19]. Materialism is also positively related to anxious attachment [20]. Anxious attachment
often causes people to become lonely, which in turn leads them to pursue material goals, perhaps as a
substitute for the security offered by healthy social relationships
▪ Taken together, this research suggests that materialistic people may be less willing or able to connect
with other people

▪ all, then, materialistic people may benefit less from experiential consumption than less materialistic
ones.

▪ DO MATERIALISTS BENEFIT FROM EXPERIENTIAL CONSUMPTION

▪ WHY MATERIALISTS DO NOT BENEFIT MORE FROM MATERIAL CONSUMPTION

▪ Materialists are more likely than non-materialists to believe that the acquisition of a product will offer
a lot of pleasure

▪ improve the impression one makes on others, facilitate one’s relationships with others, and help one
become more efficient [23]. These expectations lead to pre-purchase anticipation which is associated
with positive feelings. As many products probably fall short on their promise of significant life change,
these positive feelings may diminish post-purchase. Materialists are more likely to show a decrease in
positive feelings such as joy, contentment, and excitement from pre- to post-purchase than less
materialistic consumers, who typically exhibit no decrease in these feelings after purchase

▪ There are several reasons why people may overestimate the pleasure they will derive from
consumption. Materialistic people may be likely to splurge on big-ticket items because such items are
more likely to impress other people, and because they strongly believe that price signals quality

▪ However, research has shown that it is better to spend rather frequently on small pleasures than more
infrequently on large pleasures

▪ Furthermore, people often adapt quickly to improved life circumstances [27]. This applies to
consumption as well. Not only do new, exciting products become pedestrian over time, any
improvement in living standard may quickly become the new standard that one subsequently wants to
surpass
▪ Materialist are especially likely to want what they don’t have [28], and such chronic wanting is
detrimental to well-being

▪ Ironically, even when materialists are very successful in their pursuit of wealth, their abundance may
limit their ability to savor the better things in life.

▪ People may signal their identity to other people through (material) consumption

▪ Materialists are especially interested in conspicuous consumption [32, 33], a pattern of consumption
aimed at signaling one’s status through luxurious and exclusive possessions.

▪ At the same time, materialistic consumption is frowned upon [37] and people find conspicuous
consumers of luxury brands less likeable

▪ This may partly explain why material consumption may fail to improve one’s relations with others, why
materialism can cause loneliness [21], and why materialists are sometimes dissatisfied with their status
products

▪ Ample research shows that materialists are, on average, not the happiest of people. While some
research implicates their consumption style as contributing to their ill-being, several caveats should be
noted. First, the fact that materialists seem to have inflated consumption expectations [23] seems
almost inherent when one defines materialism as the belief that money and possessions buy happiness
[1]. In fact, depending on how materialism is measured, the negative relation

▪ Literature on the advantages of experiential consumption seems to imply that materialists would be
happier if they would switch from material to experiential consumption
▪ Further, the research on experiential versus material consumption largely ignores how happy one is in
the moment of initial acquisition or consumption, during which material purchases may outdo
experiential ones

▪ Finally, the relation between materialism and happiness not only seems bidirectional, but the relation
from unhappiness to materialism seems more pronounced [21]. Insecurities [42, 51-54], feelings of
powerlessness [55], low self-esteem [56, 57], social exclusion [58], financial constraints [59], relative
deprivation [41, 60, 61] and exposure to other people’s wealth [62, 63] may all spur materialism. This
suggests that a large part of materialists’ unhappiness may not come from their consumption.

▪ CONCLUSION: IS MATERIALISM NECESSARILY DETRIMENTAL?

▪ Shrum et al. [64] redefine materialism as “the extent to which individuals attempt to engage in the
construction and maintenance of the self through the acquisition and use of products, services,
experiences, or relationships that are perceived to provide desirable symbolic value”

▪ When people signal to themselves rather than to other people, the likelihood that the image they want
to project will be disconfirmed is probably much lower

▪ Finally, as self-signaling is probably much more expressive of one’s true self, it may lead to less
satiation [65]. If people are less frustrated with the outcomes of their consumption and satiate more
slowly, perhaps this may slow down the frequency of spending. In addition to slowing down hedonic
adaptation [66], it may also alleviate the problem of overspending and debt that typically results from a
materialistic lifestyle [23, 46,

▪ Suppose you own the world and no one knows? Conspicuous consumption, materialism and self.

▪ Social benefits of luxury brands as costly signals of wealth and status

▪ Materialism, status signaling, and life.

▪ It's not the money, it's the quest for a happier self: the role of happiness and success motives in the
link between financial goals and subjective well-being

. Journal of Social and Clinical Psychology

▪ The impact of materialism and anti- consumption lifestyles on personal debt

▪ Protecting the self through consumption: Status goods as affirmational commodities.

▪ Living in wealthy neighborhoods increases material desires and maladaptive consumption

▪ Other happiness blockers include materialism, perpetual discontent, over-complication, hyper-

competition, stress, rage, boredom, loneliness and existential confusion. We’re removed from nature,
married to work, adrift from family and friends, spiritually starved, sleep physically unfit, dumbed down,
and enslaved to debt

▪ the comparative perspective holds that life satisfaction results from a comparison of one's own
financial position to that of some reference group or material norm. Second, the goal attainment
perspective looks at money as a potential source of well-being by enabling people to attain goals they
set.

. In a culture that loves consumerism, happiness has become the ultimate consumer product.

▪ every piece of research into the nature and causes of wellbeing is consistent it is this: our happiness
depends on other people. The stronger our relationships with others, the happier we are.

▪ The head of a US aid agency in Kenya dumbstruck and confused by the zest and jubilance of the
Africans. It’s become a cliché for them to say: ‘The people are so poor, they have nothing – and yet they
have so much joy and seem so happy.’

. The price of anything is the amount of life you exchange for it.” We don’t buy things with money, we
buy them with hours from our lives.
▪ If you make a habit of buying things you do not need, you will soon be selling things you do.” —

▪ Buying material things don’t make us happy

▪ The pursuit and purchase of physical possessions will never fully satisfy our desire for happiness. It may
result in temporary joy for some, but the happiness found in buying a new item rarely lasts longer than a
few days

▪ Reasons Buying Material Things Won’t Make You Happy

▪ All possessions are temporary by nature. They look shiny and new in the store. But immediately, as
soon as the package is opened, they begin to perish, spoil, or fade.

There is always something new right around the corner. New models, new styles, new improvements,
and new features. From clothes and cars to kitchen gadgets and technology, our world moves forward.
And planned obsolescence makes sure our most recent purchase will be out of use sooner rather than
later.

Each purchase adds extra worry to our lives. Every physical item we bring into our lives represents one
more thing that can be broken, scratched, or stolen.

Possessions require maintenance. The things we own require time, energy, and focus. They need to be
cleaned, organized, managed, and maintained. And as a result, they often distract us from the things
that truly do bring us lasting happiness.

Our purchases cost us more than we realize. In stores, products are measured in dollars and cents

▪ But as Henry David Thoreau once said, “The price of anything is the amount of life you exchange for it.”
▪ We don’t buy things with money, we buy them with hours from our lives.

▪ We discover other people aren’t all that impressed. Subconsciously (and sometimes even consciously),
we expect our newest purchases will impress other people. They will notice our new car, computer,
jacket, or shoes. But most of the time, they are less impressed than we think. Instead, most of them are
too busy trying to impress you with their newest purchase.

Someone else always has more. The search for happiness in possessions is always short-lived because it
is based on faulty reasoning that buckles under its own weight. If happiness is found in buying material
things and more stuff, those with more will always be happier. The game can never be won.

▪ Shopping does not quench our desire for contentment. Contentment is never found in the purchase of
more stuff. Our overflowing closets and drawers stand as proof. No matter how much we get, it’s never
enough.

Experiences make us happier than possessions. All research points to the fact there are far more

▪ effective way to find happiness: enjoying life-changing experiences, for example.

Adyashanti, the American-born spiritual teacher, offers a theory as to why the acquisition of new
possessions provides only a temporal feeling of happiness. He explains it this way:

When we make a purchase and/or get what we want, we are temporarily happy and fulfilled. But the
reason for happiness is not because we got what we wanted, but because for a brief period of time, we
stopped wanting, and thus we experience peace and happiness.

On the topic of buying stuff, his thoughts are helpful. And I have repeated his theory dozens of times in
private conversations. Of course, the natural conclusion of this thinking is to limit our desires and
wants—to find peace and happiness by not wanting.

▪ offers a theory as to why the acquisition of new possessions providers only a temporal feelings of
happiness. he explains it this way:
▪ When we make a purchase and/or get what we want, we are temporarily happy and fulfilled. But the
reason for happiness is not because we got what we wanted, but because for a brief period of time, we
stopped wanting, and thus we experience peace and happiness.

On the topic of buying stuff, his thoughts are helpful. And I have repeated his theory dozens of times

▪ But the reason for happiness is not because we got what we wanted, but because for a brief period of
time, we stopped wanting, and thus we experience peace and happiness.

▪ The goal of minimalism is not to remove desire entirely from my life. Instead, the goal of minimalism is
to redirect my desires.

▪ Happiness can be measured by these three factors: the presence of positive emotions, the absence of
negative emotions, and life satisfaction (Ryan et al, 2001). It is a uniquely subjective experience, which
means that nobody is better at reporting on someone’s happiness than the individuals themselves.

▪ The huge amounts of money spent every year in purchasing material goods do not seem very effective
in increasing consumers’ happiness. Indeed, higher income and correspondingly expensive consumption
do not make people much happier, which implies that current consumerism is extremely inefficient in
terms of producing happiness.

. To live in the developed world is to live in a consumerist society. Although the broader forces that

▪ The pursuit of virtual happiness: Exploring the social media experience across generations

▪ HAPPINESS is an elusive state, diflicult to define, and therefore challenging to measure—partly due to
its clearly subjective, and perhaps uniquely human, nature. But An array of brain modules has evolved to
care for various pursuits, but recent studies suggest that they converge on shared neural circuits
designed to generate positive and negative mood. Happiness can be construed as the net output of the
relevant modules. The briefs suggests a strategy for how to avoid having negative feelings (such as
anxiety, depression and chronic pain) dominate the mind, and how to exercise positive feelings. In short,
the book offers both a deeper understanding of what happiness is about, and a framework for
improving well-being. An array of brain modules has evolved to care for various pursuits, but recent
studies suggest that they converge on shared neural circuits designed to generate positive and negative
mood. Happiness can be construed as the net output of the relevant

. The biology of happiness

▪ a model for happiness based on current knowledge in evolutionary biology and neurobiology. Briefly,
the primary purpose of nervous systems is to direct an animal toward behaviour

▪ comparison, is a positive response to obtaining the goal. Mesocorticolimbic dopamine (DA)

transmission has been proposed to influence each of the above processes. Recent work, however,
suggests that DA strongly influences sustained interest and approach, weakly influences positive
emotions

▪ relevant for survival and procreation. In primitive animals actions are based on reflexes, while in
humans the modules directing behaviour engage positive and negative affect (good and bad feelings),
and they are swayed by cognitive processes. The reason why evolution opted for this strategy was the
improved flexibility in response–ie, we learn from previous experiences. The human capacity for
happiness is an accidental

. modules. The human capacity for happiness is an accidental consequence. A

. The biology of happiness

Bjørn Grinde

Springer Science & Business Media

. that a person's chronic happiness level is governed by 3 major factors: a genetically determined set
point for happiness, happiness-relevant circumstantial factors, and happiness-relevant activities and
practices.

▪ Happiness is a kind of subjective feeling of positive emotions. Since the psychological process of
reward is closely linked to pleasure, studies to elucidate the brain mechanisms of happiness have
focused on the neural circuitry that processes reward information. Brain imaging studies have revealed
that the orbitofrontal cortex, cingulate cortex, medial prefrontal cortex, insula, nucleus accumbens,
ventral pallidum, substantia nigra, and ventral tegmental area are the key areas related to happiness.

▪ When we consider the brain mechanisms of happiness, we need to distinguish between the neural
mechanisms for liking and wanting, and between those that encode and cause pleasant feelings. Among
these brain areas, subcortical structures participate in “wanting”, while cortical areas participate in
“liking”. Orbitofrontal activity has been shown to encode the subjective experience of pleasure.
However, it is not clear whether orbitofrontal activity actually causes pleasant feelings

▪ In most contemporary theories of emotion, the processes of desire, happiness, and pleasure are
separable yet affect each other. Desire reflects the focused interest in a goal object and the drive to
obtain it. Happiness is an affective state linked to the appraisal that progress is being made. Pleasure,

▪ The how of happiness: A scientific approach to getting the life you want

▪ Most of us possess something called the optimistic bias, which is the tendency to think that our future
will be better than our present

▪ Life doesn’t honor the perfect time. Waiting for the future is to sit with anxiety, while the world passes
by. We postpone our happiness until a time in the future when everything is just right. Only that time
never comes.

▪ The Austrian neurologist Viktor Frankl wrote that the cornerstone of good mental health is having
purpose in life. He said that we shouldn’t aim to be in a “tensionless state”, free of responsibility and
challenges, but rather we should be striving for something in life. We can find purpose by taking the
attention away from ourselves and placing it onto something else. So find a worthwhile goal and try to
make regular progress on it, even if it’s for a small amount each day, because this can really have a
positive impact.

▪ we make life harder than necessary. Happiness is not a means to an end, for there is no Destination
Happy. Sure we experience joyful moments and blissful memories, but life is about the journey and
enjoying the steps along the way. When we let go of our limited view of happiness, we accept that life is
full of ebbs and flows where some days are great, others are good, and some are bad.

.the

▪ Americans are spending a fortune on finding happiness—and becoming less happy in the process

▪ The pursuit of virtual happiness: Exploring the social media experience across generations

.HAPPINESS is an elusive state, diflicult to define, and therefore challenging to measure—partly due to
its clearly subjective, and perhaps uniquely human, nature. But

Three grand essentials to happiness in this life are something to do, something to love, and something
to hope for. Joseph Addison

Authentic Happiness is Lasting Peace and Contentment.

Authentic happiness is possible, though it's not likely to be found in seven steps, nor is there a master

▪ key. Billions of humans have been searching for it for thousands of years, but mostly we've been
searching in the wrong places, because we don't understand the problem.

▪ Why? Why does everything we try seem to work a little, to bloom and then fade like a rose, and then
bloom again, like perennial love? Are some folks more content than others? If so, why? If not, why does
it seem otherwise? If everyone is looking for an answer, and someone has found it, why is the world not
beating a path to their door? Is there anything you would not give or do to have authentic happiness? If
not, why not? Is there something you could do right now that makes you content? If so, why aren't you
doing it? What's the difference between having authentic happiness and being at peace?

We're going to answer all of those questions and more. We'll look at what it means to have a better

▪ Philosophy, psychology and religion are truly abysmal failures when it comes to the only thing that
really matters; finding authentic happiness. Why? Because they're inevitably co-opted by seekers rather
than finders, who then proceed to teach what they wish to learn.
▪ You will never find the right things looking in the wrong places

▪ Compared with Americans in 1957, today we own twice

as many cars per person, eat out twice as often and enjoy endless other commodities that weren't
around then--big-screen TVs, microwave ovens, SUVs and handheld wireless devices, to name a few. But
are we any happier?

Certainly

▪ Compared with their grandparents, today's young adults have grown up with much more affluence,
slightly less happiness and much greater risk of depression and assorted social pathology," notes Hope
College psychologist David G. Myers, PhD, author of the article, which appeared in the American
Psychologist (Vol. 55, No. 1). "Our becoming much better off over the last four decades has not been
accompanied by one iota of increased subjective well-being."

▪ So what does psychologists' research say about possible effects of this consumer culture on people's
mental well-being? Based on the literature to date, it would be too simplistic to say that desire for
material wealth unequivocally means discontent. Although the least materialistic people report the
most life satisfaction, some studies indicate that materialists can be almost as contented if they've got
the money and their acquisitive lifestyle doesn't conflict with more soul-satisfying pursuits. But for
materialists with less money and other conflicting desires--a more common situation

▪ There's a narrowing of the gap between materialists and nonmaterialists in life satisfaction as
materialists' income rises," notes Edward Diener, PhD, a well-known researcher of subjective well

▪ Edward Diener, PhD, a well-known researcher of subjective well-being and materialism at the
University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign. "So if you're poor, it's very bad to be a materialist; and if
you're rich, it doesn't make you happier than nonmaterialists, but you almost catch up."

▪ People with strong materialistic values appear to have goal orientations that may lead to poorer well-
being
▪ In Kasser's own book, "The High Price of Materialism" (MIT Press, 2002), Kasser describes his and
others' research showing that when people organize their lives around extrinsic goals such as product
acquisition, they report greater unhappiness in relationships, poorer moods and more psychological
problems. Kasser distinguishes extrinsic goals--which tend to

focus on possessions, image, status and receiving rewards and praise--from intrinsic ones, which aim at
outcomes like personal growth and community connection and are satisfying in and of themselves.

Relatedly, a not-yet-published study by University of Missouri social psychologist Marsha Richins, PhD

▪ finds that materialists place unrealistically high expectations on what consumer goods can do for them
in terms of relationships, autonomy and happiness.

▪ Given that we all experience the same consumeristic culture, why do some of us develop strongly
materialistic values and others don't? A line of research suggests that insecurity--both financial and
emotional--lies at the heart of consumeristic cravings

▪ Research suggests that when people grow up in unfortunate social situations--where they're not
treated very nicely by their parents or when they experience poverty or even the threat of death," says
Kasser, "they become more materialistic as a way to adapt."

A 1995 paper in Developmental Psychology (Vol. 31, No. 6) by Kasser and colleagues was the first to
demonstrate this. Teens who reported having higher materialistic attitudes tended to be poorer and to
have less nurturing mothers than those with lower materialism scores found that young people whose
parents were undergoing or had undergone divorce or separation were more prone to developing
materialistic values later in life than those from intact homes.

▪ And in the first direct experimental test of the point, Kasser and University of Missouri social
psychologist Kenneth Sheldon, PhD, reported in a 2000 article in Psychological Science (Vol. 11, No. 4),
that when provoked with thoughts of the most extreme uncertainty of them all--death--people reported
more materialistic leanings
▪ Material things are neither bad nor good," Burroughs comments s comments. "It is the role and status
they are accorded in one's life that can be problematic. The key is to find a balance: to appreciate what
you have, but not at the expense of the things that really matter--your family, community and
spirituality."

▪ Corporate-driven consumerism is having massive psychological effects, not just on people, but on our
planet as well,

▪ Because even when all our material and biological needs are satisfied, a state of sustained happiness
will still remain a theoretical and elusive goal,

Happiness is a human construct, an abstract idea with no equivalent in actual human experience.

Positive and negative affects do reside in the brain, but sustained happiness has no biological

▪ Nature and evolution

Humans are not designed to be happy, or even content. Instead, we are designed primarily to survive
and reproduce, like every other creature in the natural world. A state of contentment is discouraged by
nature because it would lower our guard against possible threats to our survival.

▪ The fact that evolution has prioritized the development of a big frontal lobe in our brain (which gives
us excellent executive and analytical abilities) over a natural ability to be happy, tells us a lot about
nature’s priorities. Different geographical locations and circuits in the brain are each associated with
certain neurological and intellectual functions, but happiness, being a mere construct with no
neurological basis, cannot be found in the brain tissue.

▪ nature’s failure to weed out depression in the evolutionary process (despite the obvious disadvantages
in terms of survival and reproduction) is due precisely to the fact that depression as an adaptation plays
a useful role in times of adversity, by helping the depressed individual disengage from risky and hopeless
situations in which he or she cannot win

▪ Depressive ruminations can also have a problem-solving function during difficult times.
▪ In fact, these strategies merely try to find a remedy for our innate inability to enjoy life consistently, so
we should take comfort in the knowledge that unhappiness is not really our fault. It is the fault of our
natural design. It is in our blueprint.

▪ Chemicals alter the mind (which can be a good thing sometimes), but since happiness is not related to
a particular functional brain pattern, we cannot replicate it chemically.

▪ It’s worth remembering, then, that we are not designed to be consistently happy. Instead, we are
designed to survive and reproduce. These are difficult tasks, so we are meant to struggle and strive, seek
gratification and safety, fight off threats and avoid pain

▪ The model of competing emotions offered by coexisting pleasure and pain fits our reality much better
than the unachievable bliss that the happiness industry is trying to sell us

▪ Postulating that there is no such thing as happiness may appear to be a purely negative message, but
the silver lining, the consolation, is the knowledge that dissatisfaction is not a personal failure. If you are
unhappy at times, this is not a shortcoming that demands urgent repair,

This fluctuation is, in fact, what makes you human.

how

▪ How is happiness generated via brain function in lucky individuals who have the good fortune to be
happy? Conceptually, well-being or happiness has long been viewed as requiring at least two crucial
ingredients: positive affect or pleasure (hedonia) and a sense of meaningfulness or engagement in life
(eudaimonia

▪ with most things, there isn't a one-size-fits-all approach when it comes to happiness. That means you
need to get to know yourself to understand what it is that makes you feel happy and fulfilled. Reconnect
with your values, your strengths, and your purpose to build a strong foundation for your happiness
journey. Then, let them lead you to a life that aligns with them
▪ Happiness cannot be objectified as possession, it always needs to be experienced subjectively,
somatically. (“With happiness it is like with truth: One does not have it, one is in it.”) Happiness cannot
be prescribed and ordered; nothing can be done to guarantee happiness. (“Happiness goes beyond
doing”.) Happiness (like fear) has to do with being open to experience which can overwhelm the self.
Sexual and aesthetical experience are models for such overwhelming happiness. The sensation of
happiness always is very personal, but in this experience the individual leaves its particularity behind.
One has to differentiate between goal and object: Happiness may be a goal, but not it itself, only what
obstructs it, can be an object of Critical Theory."

The more playful we are, the more likely it is that we're present enough to recoginize happiness.

▪ and somewhat less obvious — people are more materialistic when they feel insecure or threatened,
whether because of rejection, economic fears or thoughts of their own death.

Materialism is linked to media exposure and national-advertising expenditures:

The research shows that the more that people watch television, the more materialistic their values

▪ The more fun we have the more likely that we'll embrace happiness.

If You’re Not Happy with What You Have, You Might Never be Happy

The problem with comparing yourself with others is that it shifts your focus from what you have to what
you don’t have, which in turn makes you feel unsatisfied with what you have.

Materialists

▪ Materialists lead unhappier lives — and are worse to the people around them.

▪ Materialists are sad, terrible people:

We know from research that materialism tends to be associated with treating others in more
competitive, manipulative and selfish ways, as well as with being less empathetic ...

[M]aterialism is associated with lower levels of well-being, less pro-social interpersonal behavior, more
ecologically destructive behavior, and worse academic outcomes. It also is associated with more
spending problems and debt ...

▪ We found that the more highly people endorsed materialistic values, the more they experienced
unpleasant emotions, depression and anxiety, the more they reported physical health problems, such as
stomachaches and headaches, and the less they experienced pleasant emotions and felt satisfied with
their lives.

People become more materialistic when they feel insecure:

Research shows two sets of factors that lead people to have materialistic values. First, people are

▪ more materialistic when they are exposed to messages that suggest such pursuits are important ...
Second, are

▪ advertising and marketing expenditures — the more that advertising dominated the economy, the
more materialistic youth were.

Materialism is linked to social media use, too:

▪ One study of American and Arab youth found that materialism is higher as social media use increases ...
That makes sense, since most social media messages also contain advertising, which is how the social
media companies make a profit.
Many psychologists think that materialists are unhappy because these people neglect their real

▪ psychological needs:

▪ [M]aterialistic values are associated with living one’s life in ways that do a relatively poor job of
satisfying psychological needs to feel free, competent and connected to other people. When people do
not have their needs well-satisfied, they report lower levels of well-being and happiness, as well as more

▪ not have their needs well-satisfied, they report lower levels of well-being and happiness, as well as
more distress.

▪ Research shows two sets of factors that lead people to have materialistic values. First, people are more
materialistic when they are exposed to messages that suggest such pursuits are important ... Second,
and somewhat less obvious — people are more materialistic when they feel insecure or threatened,
whether because of rejection, economic fears or thoughts of their own death.

Materialism

▪ Studies have shown that a person’s ability to savor experiences predicts their degree of happiness.
Savoring is defined as the emotions of joy, awe, excitement and gratitude derived during an experience

▪ ]aterialism is associated with lower levels of well-being, less pro-social interpersonal behavior, more
ecologically destructive behavior, and worse academic outcomes. It also is associated with more
spending problems and debt ...

We found that the more highly people endorsed materialistic values, the more they experienced

▪ unpleasant emotions, depression and anxiety, the more they reported physical health problems, such
as stomachaches and headaches, and the less they experienced pleasant emotions and felt satisfied with
▪ their lives.

▪ we see the faults of others clearly, but are blind to our own. ("Why do you see the speck in your

: happiness comes from within and can't be found in external things. For a while in the 1990s,
psychologists agreed with ancient sages (such as Buddha and Epictetus) that external conditions are not
what matter.

▪ the meaning of life," making the distinction between a purpose for life and a purpose within life. Love
and work give a sense of meaning to life. A study by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, Howard

▪ aspect of chance

Schopenhauer explains happiness in terms of a wish that is satisfied, which in turn gives rise to a new
wish. And the absence of satisfaction is suffering, which results in an empty longing.

▪ asserted in her 2007 book, The How of Happiness, that happiness is 50 percent genetically determined
(based on twin studies),[71] 10 percent circumstantial, and 40 percent subject to self-control.[72]

.emotional stability (neuroticism).

▪ .According to the set-point model, levels of positive and negative affects are more or less fixed within
each individual, hence, after a positive or negative event, people's moods tend to go back to the pre-set
level. According to the set-point model, extraverts experience more happiness because their pre-set
level of positive affect is set higher than the pre-set point of positive affect in introverts,

▪ one's culture may also influence happiness and overall subjective well-being. The overall level of
happiness fluctuates from culture to culture, as does preferred expression of happiness. Comparing
various international surveys across countries reveals that different nations, and different ethnic groups
▪ within nations, exhibit differences in average life satisfaction.

▪ happiness as “the experience of joy, contentment, or positive well-being, combined with a sense that
one's life is good, meaningful, and worthwhile.”[22]

.said that all humans strive after happiness, but that the possibilities of achieving it are restricted

▪ happiness as “the experience of joy, contentment, or positive well-being, combined with a sense that
one's life is good, meaningful, and worthwhile.”[22]

.said that all humans strive after happiness, but that the possibilities of achieving it are restricted
because we "are so made that we can derive intense enjoyment only from a contrast and very little from
the state of things."[89]

.on

▪ extent to which a society allows free choice has a major impact on happiness. When basic needs are
satisfied, the degree of happiness depends on economic and cultural factors that enable free choice in
how people live their lives. Happiness also depends on religion in countries where free choice is
constrained.[69]

.found

▪ Autonomy: High

.I have confidence in my opinions, even if they are contrary to the general consensus".[1]

.Environmental Mastery: High scores

.is "In general, I feel I am in charge of the situation in which I live".[1]

.Personal Growth: High

.is "I think it is important to have new experiences that challenge how you think about yourself and the
world".[1]

.is "People would describe me as a giving person, willing to share my time with others".[1]

.Positive Relations with Others: High

.is "Some people wander aimlessly through life, but I am not one of them".[1]

▪ Purpose in Life: High

.Self-Acceptance: High scores

.Six types

.this criterion is "I like most aspects of my personality"[1]

▪ Although SWB tends to be stable over time[6] and is strongly related to personality traits,[7] the
emotional component of SWB can be impacted by situations; tuations; for example, the onset of the
COVID-19 outbreak, lowered emotional well-being by 74%.

.Definitions of SWB therefore focus on how a person evaluates his/her own life, including emotional
experiences of pleasure versus pain in response to specific events and cognitive evaluations of what a
person considers a good

▪ life.

▪ The hedonic treadmill theory originally proposed that most people return to a neutral level of SWB (i.e.
neither happy nor unhappy) as they habituate to events.

.Health

▪ Although people in collectivistic cultures may gain happiness from the social approval they receive
from suppressing self-interest, research seems to suggest that self-expression produces a greater
happiness "payoff" compared to seeking approval outside oneself.[47]

.Happiness

▪ that feeling that comes over you when you know life is good and you can't help but smile. ... Happiness
is a sense of well-being, joy, or contentment.

▪ Very important
.To be happy at work, to be happy at play, to be happy in our homes and amidst our family is something
that all of us desire.Mar 25, 2011

▪ The problem with your generation is that you always expect to be happy

▪ happiness is something you design for the present, not something you postpone for the future.

▪ The problem with comparing yourself with others is that it shifts your focus from what you have to
what you don’t have, which in turn makes you feel unsatisfied with what you have.

I wish them to have less”. We are essentially wishing ill on those around us, and hoping it will bring us
happiness.

▪ need to have more than anyone else to be happy contradicts the very idea of happiness,

▪ Happiness is fundamentally an idea, and specifically an idea about the presence of certain desirable
conditions and the absence of certain undesirable conditions. What this means is that happiness, as
conceived, is a state of mind that is fundamentally imaginary, conceptual, dualistic and conditional.

▪ They have such a high standard for achieving happiness that they don’t appreciate the small and
simple things that are really meaningful in their life – and they are more unhappy as a result,” says

The truth is that happiness is finite. It's impossible to be happy now and remain happy for the rest

▪ of your lives. ... This obviously differs from person to person, but the fundamental answer remains the
same: eternal happiness does not exist

▪ happiness as primarily contentment—the inner peace and joy that come from deep satisfaction with
one’s surroundings, relationships with others, accomplishments, and oneself.

happiness consists of three distinct elements: the pleasant life, the good life, and the meaningful life, as
shown in [link] (Seligman,
others view happiness mainly as pleasurable engagement with their personal environment—having a
career and hobbies that are engaging, meaningful, rewarding, and exciting.

The good life is achieved through identifying our unique skills and abilities and engaging these talents to
enrich our lives; those who achieve the good life often find themselves absorbed in their work or their
recreational pursuit

The pleasant life is realized through the attainment of day-to-day pleasures that add fun, joy, and
excitement to our lives.

The meaningful life involves a deep sense of fulfillment that comes from using our talents in the service

▪ of the greater good: in ways that benefit the lives of others or that make the world a better plac

Some millionaires are dissatisfied because they want to be billionaires. Conversely, some people with
ordinary incomes are quite happy because they have learned to live within their means and enjoy the
less expensive things in life.

: Happiness is an enduring state of well-being involving satisfaction in the pleasant, good, and

▪ of well-being involving satisfaction in the pleasant, good, and meaningful

▪ aspects of life.

▪ was shocked when I met a one-legged taxi driver in Kenya. I was shocked when I met Sonia, an orphan
schoolgirl in Rwanda. And I was shocked when I met a disabled subsistence farmer in Mozambique.

Let’s look at what the research says about what actually makes us content? What actually makes us
satisfied? What actually makes us happy?

What shocked me wasn’t their poverty, but their happiness. I found their happiness confronting — far
more confronting than poverty. Of course, not everyone was happy, but of those above a basic
subsistence threshold level, I was surprised at how genuinely content many of them were. And I became
fascinated in this notion, this idea of happiness.
than ever before. We have technology improving exponentially but we don’t see a corresponding

▪ increase in our life satisfaction, in our happiness. It’s perhaps one of the great paradoxes of our time.

what’s interesting is that it’s not only us that’s bad predictors of happiness. The macro data actually
supports this as well. We’re wealthier than ever but unhappier than ever. We’re more prosperous but
more depressed. We’re less satisfied. I mean, we have faster and faster transport, but we’re faster and
faster to complain about it. In many countries, there are now more suicides and homicides. We now
have more goods and services.

Why is it that we’re unhappy? What’s the explanation? Now it’s not an easy question to answer, b

Why is that we get it wrong so often? And I think it’s because we don’t really understand why it

▪ ’re often unhappy.

And that explanation isn’t that we have so much choice that we get stressed; it’s not that we’re
economically worse off. In many cases, we’re economically better off. It’s not that we just have great
reporting of depression and suicide; that’s true but it only explains a small portion of the data. It’s not

▪ due to family breakdowns or reduced freedom

▪ in terms of three different types of expectation gaps — three different types of gaps based on the
different ways in which we form expectations.

reality
the reason why we’re unhappy — the most compelling reason as shown by the data, as shown by
research relates to expectations. At a very basic simple level, we’re unhappy when our expectations of
reality exceed our experiences of reality. When our expectations exceed reality. And I’d like to

▪ call this an Expectation Gap when our expectations are greater than

we form expectations based on our imagination, based on those around us, and based on our past
experiences. So to this first type of expectation gap, the imagination gap which occurs when our
imagination exceeds reality. You see when we choose to buy goods, we choose from a range of options.
When we choose where to travel to, we often choose from a range of options

And how do we make that decision? What we do is that we choose the one that we think will be the

▪ best. We choose the one that we imagine will be the best of all the options.

Now the problem here is that the very act of choosing the thing that we think will give us the greatest
happiness, that very decision-making process is the thing that actually undermines our happiness,
because what it means is that when we then see reality, wh

when we then experience that, whether it’s the goods or the place we travel to, or the leader that we
elect, it’s highly likely that that reality won’t live up to our expectation. And that leads to
disappointment.

And technology makes this so much worse. What technology has loused is things that are actually
possible. We photoshop things in, we airbrush things out, we digitally enhance photos.

And what this does is it makes us romanticize travel and makes us come

up with fantastical ideas about places that reality simply can’t live up to.

"The term "happiness" is also commonly used in regards to SWB and has been defined variously as
"satisfaction of desires and goals" (therefore related to life satisfaction), as a "preponderance of positive
over negative affect" (therefore related to emotional components of SWB),[3] as "contentment",[15]
and as a "consistent, optimistic mood state"[7] and may imply an affective evaluation of one's life as a
whole.[16] Life satisfaction can also be known as the "stable" component in one's life.[3] Affective
concepts of SWB can be considered in terms of momentary emotional states as well as in terms of
longer-term moods and tendencies (i.e. how much positive and/or negative affect a person generally
experiences over any given period of time).[6] Life satisfaction and in some research happiness are
typically considered over long durations, up to one's lifetime.[7 "

What technology does is that it skews our vision and distorts reality and makes the unreal seem real.

normal, as being average. And this also plays with our imagination — that selection bias.

Many content-based algorithms whether it’s Google search or Facebook News Feed, the way that it
presents information is that it prioritizes those things that are the best images, the most shared images,
the most liked images. You’re more likely be shown a photo on Facebook if it has 200 likes than if it has
two. And so we come to think of the best images as being

Then there’s persuasion, because politicians often get elected on the basis of promising things that they

▪ can’t deliver, by raising our expectations. I mean who would you be more likely to vote for a politician
that says, ‘I’ll fix your problems if you vote for me’, or someone who says perhaps more honestly things
will probably be the same whether you vote for me or not? You’re probably going to vote for the former
but you’re probably going to be disappointed as well.

And so we’re in this constant cycle of expectations being raised and hopes being dashed. It’s the same
with companies. I mean, companies are more likely to tell us that watchers have never performed tasks
so quickly. They’re probably not going to tell us batteries have never run out so quickly, both of which
are true.

And so when you have technology, when you have persuasion, and when you have selection bias, what
that means is that we imagine and demand and expect more than reality can provide. And when the
limitless potential of our minds is met by the confined nature of earth, we’re disappointed, we’re

▪ unhappy. Expectations and disappointments irrevocably intertwined.

In terms of beauty, it’s no wonder that self-esteem levels are so low. I mean, advertisers learned long
ago that if you can make people hate themselves, you can sell them things. Now they’re applying it time

▪ and time again and we see this. What we see is advertisers showing only the best before and after
photos, what we see is pictures of models who are made to seem perfect even though they’re not.
We’ve become a society of complainers, of perfectionists, of counterfactual historians — people who
always imagine different and better outcomes for ourselves, the people whose imagination can’t be
satisfied.

So that’s the Imagination Gap. That’s why our imagination exceeds reality, and that’s the first main
reason why we’re unhappy.

The second main type of expectation that we have, I like to call, the Interpersonal Gap. That’s where we
compare our reality to the reality of others. Put simply, we judge ourselves based on what we
experience around us. If you earn $50,000 and you’re in a poor neighborhood you’ll feel rich. If your
earn 50,000 and you’re in a wealthy neighborhood you’ll feel poor. If you get a small pay rise but
everyone around you gets a large pay rise, you’ll be disappointed. Your gain is someone’s pain;

▪ someone’s pain is your gain. Unfortunately, it’s a bit of a zero-sum game, or so it seems.

And it’s not only relative income that matters; it’s also relative appearance that matters. One person’s
plastic surgery is another psychic loss. Indeed research has shown that we’re actually happier when
we’re with worse looking people, because we’re perceived by others to be objectively better looking. So
now when your friend asks you to come to a bar or to a club with them, you know why. And what’s
particularly interesting about this is that we have an asymmetry of emphasis — we prioritize, we focus
on one end of the spectrum. We focus on the rich, the famous, the beautiful, and pay less attention to
the other end. And so we’re made to seem poorer; we’re made to feel poorer, made to feel less
successful than we actually are. It’s almost as though we’re running on a hedonic treadmill, constantly
striving to be happy but getting no closer, because when our standard of living improves, if everyone
else’s standard of living improves as well, we don’t always feel happier. So that’s the second way in
which we form expectations based on others around us.

The third and final way is based on our past — based on our past experiences, I call this the
Intertemporal Gap. And we’re unhappy when our past reality is better than our present reality.
▪ Take two people who have the same average lifetime income. The person A whose income decreases
over their lifetime; person B whose income increases. Now research shows that you’re always

▪ happier if you’re person B, if you have that increasing income,

▪ if you have that increasing income, even though the average might be the same. Why is this? It’s
because of something that psychologists refer to as anchoring. We compare to our past and if you’re
constantly improving, constantly exceeding expectations, constantly moving forward, you’re generally
happy. The reverse is true if you’re person A.

And so what this means in terms of raising children? I think often we tend to spoil children; we tend to
give them everything to want to give them the best start in life. But often the best intentions don’t
always lead to the best outcomes. Yes, we should support children, but if we give them everything, then
it’s much harder for them to have what I call a positive intertemporal gradient. It’s harder for them to
improve over time throughout their life and that actually potentially undermines their happiness.

And while I’m talking about parenting, I think another problem in our society is that we tend to tell
children that they’re special, that they’re unique, that they’re one-of-a-kind, that they’re amazing. We
told them that they can be Prime Minister or President, that they can be the next Mark Zuckerberg. We
told them that they’ll be Beyonce one day. What this means is that we raise their expectations. And so
when that child gets a normal job, when they start a business and it fails like most do, when they’re
seeing career picks with a rendition of single ladies in the shower, they’re disappointed, they’re unhappy:
their expectations haven’t been satisfied. Yes, we want to give children self-belief, but we don’t want to
delude them and we don’t want to delude

we seem to have been seduced into a way of life that almost conspires in every way against the most

▪ basic level of contentment. We’re terrible predictors of what will make us happy. I mean, anytime
monkeys beat you, you know there’s a problem. We’re terrible predictors of happiness, because the
way in which we rationalize, the way in which we make decisions is optimal on the basis of actual levels,
absolute levels, but the way in which we feel is based on relative outcomes, based on expectations.
So what we see is that our happiness is largely determined by expectations. Our expectations are largely
determined by what we consider to be normal. And what we consider to be normal is largely based on
our imagination, based on others around us, and based on our past. And so we have these constant
battles – the battle between our imagination and our reality, the battle between the reality that we
experience and what we think or perceive that others experience, the battle between our reality and
our past reality.

It’s expectations that explains why a bronze medalist can be happier than a silver medalist, because the
silver medalist imagines coming first, the bronze medalist imagines coming fourth. It’s expectations that

▪ explains why often lottery winners aren’t that happy; their happiness doesn’t last, because they don’t
have that increasing level of satisfaction throughout their life.

It’s expectations that explains why you can be happier with an income of 40,000 to an income of 50,000.
We often think of happiness in isolation in a vacuum, when in reality our happiness is far more
complicated. It’s far more intertwined with our community, our imagination, and our past.

And it’s important that we think carefully about how our minds work, how our feelings work, how our
expectations work. And it’s important that we change the way in which we make decisions so that our

▪ thinking process matches our feeling process.

What Is Happiness?

Happiness is an emotional state characterized

▪ by feelings of joy, satisfaction, contentment, and fulfillment. While happiness has many different
definitions, it is often described as involving positive emotions and life satisfaction.

Two key components of happiness (or subjective well-being) are:

The balance of emotions: Everyone experiences both positive and negative emotions, feelings, and
moods. Happiness is generally linked to experiencing more positive feelings than negative.

▪ When most people talk about happiness, they might be talking about how they feel in the present
moment, or they might be referring to a more general sense of how they feel about life overall

▪ Because happiness tends to be such a broadly defined term, psychologists and other social scientists
typically use the term 'subjective well-being' when they talk about this emotional state. Just as it sounds,
subjective well-being tends to focus on an individual's overall personal feelings about their life in the
present.

▪ Life satisfaction: This relates to how satisfied you feel with different areas of your life including your
relationships, work, achievements, and other things that you consider important

▪ While perceptions of happiness may be different from one person to the next, there are some key
signs that psychologists look for when measuring and assessing happiness.

Some key signs of happiness include:

Feeling like you are living the life you wanted

Feeling that the conditions of your life are good

Feeing that you have accomplished (or will accomplish) what you want in life

▪ Feeling satisfied with your life

Feeling positive more than negative

One important thing to remember is that happiness isn't a state of constant euphoria. Instead,
happiness is an overall sense of experiencing more positive emotions than negative ones.

▪ Happy people still feel the whole range of human emotions—anger, frustrastion, boredom, loneliness,
and even sadness—from time to time. But even when faced with discomfort, they have an underlying
sense of optimism that things will get better, that they can deal with what is happening, and that they
will be able to feel happy again

▪ Joy: A often relatively brief feeling that is felt in the present moment

Excitement: A happy feeling that involves looking forward to something with positive anticipation

▪ While some people just tend to be naturally happier, there are things that you can do to cultivate your
sense of happiness.

Pursue Intrinsic Goals

Achieving goals that you are intrinsically motivated to pursue, particularly ones that are focused on

▪ personal growth and community, can help boost happiness. Research suggests that pursuing these
types of intrinsically-motivated goals can increase happiness more than pursuing extrinsic goals like
gaining money or status

▪ Enjoy the Moment

Pride: A feeling of satisfaction in something that you have accomplished

▪ Optimism: This is a way of looking at life with a positive, upbeat outlook

Contentment: This type of happiness involves a sense of satisfaction

▪ Studies have found that people tend to over earn—they become so focused on accumulating things
that they lose track of actually enjoying what they are doing.4

So, rather than falling into the trap of mindlessly accumulating to the detriment of your own happiness,
focus on practicing gratitude for the things you have and enjoying the process as you go.

▪ People have a natural negativity bias, or a tendency to pay more attention to bad things than to good
things. This can have an impact on everything from how you make decisions to how you form
impressions of other people. Discounting the positive—a cognitive distortion where people focus on the
negative and ignore the positive—can also contribute to negative thoughts.

▪ Happiness helps people build stronger coping skills and emotional resources.

▪ People who report having a positive state of well-being are more likely to engage in healthy behaviors

▪ Being happy may make help you get sick less often. Happier mental states are linked to increased
immunity.

Improving Your Happiness

Positive emotions are linked to better health and longevity. One study found that people who

▪ experienced more positive emotions than negative ones were more likely to have survived over a 13
year period
▪ Positive feelings increase resilience.

Positive feelings increase resilience. Resilience helps people better manage stress and bounce back
better when faced with setbacks. For example, one study found that happier people tend to have lower

▪ levels of the stress hormone cortisol and that these benefits tend to persist over time.6

▪ So while you might not be able to control what your “base level” of happiness is, there are things that
you can do to make your life happier and more fulfilling. Even the happiest of individuals can feel down
from time to time and happiness is something that all people need to consciously pursue

In

▪ one analysis of past research on the connection between physical activity and happiness, researchers
found a consistent positive link.

▪ Research has found that people who feel like they have a purpose have better well-being and feel
more fulfilled.12 A sense of purpose involves seeing your life as having goals, direction, and meaning. It
may help improve happiness by promoting healthier behaviors.

Some things you can do to help find a sense of purpose include:

Explore your interests and passions

Engage in prosocial and altruistic causes

Work to address injustices

Look for new things you might want to learn more about

This sense of purpose is influenced by a variety of factors, but it is also something that you can cultivate

▪ involves finding a goal that you care deeply about that will lead you to engage in productive, positive
actions in order to work toward that goal.

▪ One study, for example, found that spending money on things that buy time—such as spending money
on time-saving services—can increase happiness and life satisfaction.13

Rather than overvaluing things such as money, status, or material possessions, pursuing goals that result
in more free time or enjoyable experiences may have a higher happiness reward.

It is important to remember that when it comes to social support, quality is more important than

▪ quantity. Having just a few very close and trusted friends will have a greater impact on your overall
happiness than having many casual acquaintances.

Thinking

▪ Happiness isn’t a goal that you can simply reach and be done with. It is a constant pursuit that requires
continual nurturing and sustenance.

One study found that people who tend to value happiness most also tended to feel the least satisfied
with their lives.15 Essentially, happiness becomes such a lofty goal that it becomes virtually unattainable.

▪ Social support means having friends and loved ones that you can turn to for support. Research has
found that perceived social support plays an important role in subjective well-being. For example, one
study found that perceptions of social support were responsible for 43% of a person's level of happiness.
▪ Perhaps the lesson is to not make something as broadly defined as “happiness” your goal. Instead,
focus on building and cultivating the sort of life and relationships that bring fulfillment and satisfaction
to your life.

▪ Happiness is a broad term that means different things to different people. Rather than looking at
happiness as an endpoint, it can be more helpful to think about what happiness really means to you and
then work on small things that will help you become happier. This can make achieving these goals more
manageable and less overwhelming.

▪ What emotions should people strive for to be happy? Consistent with Aristotle’s claims, our
investigation suggests that people are happier when they experience emotions they desire, whether
such emotions are pleasant or unpleasant. To the extent that people desire emotions that are consistent
with their values, this suggests that happiness entails feeling emotions that are valued, as determined by
the unique personal, social, and cultural context of each individual.

Every day we are bombarded with new facts, figures, stories, theories and demands on our attention.
We expect our brains to process ever higher volumes of data but all this information comes at a cost.

Relentless external pressure leads to information overload: absent-mindedness, poor decision-making,

lowered efficiency and even a suppressed capacity for creative thought. Understanding this pitfall is ever
more crucial to surviving and thriving in the digital age.

happiness as the aim of life to its dependency on nature, luck, our own selves, and others,

▪ explores

▪ the nature of positive and negative emotions, and the psychological and cognitive processes involved
in their generation. Accessible and wide-ranging coverage is provided on key issues such as: the
measurements and study of happiness, mental and physical health; the effect of friendship, marriage
and other relationships on positive moods; happiness, mental and physical health; the effects of work,
▪ employment and leisure; and the effects of money, class and education. The importance of individual
personality traits such as optimism, purpose in life, internal control and having the right kind of goals is
also analysed. New to this edition is additional material on national differences, the role of humour, and
the effect of religion.

▪ how the limitations of our imaginations may be getting in the way of our ability to know what
happiness is

▪ What distinguishes us as human beings from other animals is our ability to predict the future--or rather,
our interest in predicting the future. We spend a great deal of our waking life imagining what it would
be like to be this way or that way, or to do this or that, or taste or buy or experience some state or
feeling or thing. We do that for good reasons: it is what allows us to shape our life. And it is by trying to
exert some control over our futures that we attempt to be happy. But by any objective measure, we are
really bad at that predictive function. We're terrible at knowing how we will feel a day or a month or
year from now, and even worse at knowing what will and will not bring us that cherished happiness. G

▪ Most people want to be successful in life. And of course, everyone wants to be happy. When it comes
to the pursuit of success and happiness, most people assume the same formula: if you work hard, you
will become successful, and once you become successful, then you'll be happy. The only problem is that
a decade of cutting-edge research in the field of positive psychology has proven that this formula is
backwards. Success does not beget happiness

▪ each one of us can use to improve our performance, grow our careers, and gain a competitive edge at
work. He reveals how happiness actually fuels success and performance, not the other way around. Why?
Because when we are happier and more positive we are more engaged, creative, resilient to stress, and
productive

▪ that we have been given false promises—myths that assure us that lifelong happiness will be attained
once we hit the culturally confirmed markers of adult success. This black-and-white vision of happiness
works to discourage us from recognizing the upside of any negative and limits our potential for personal
growth. A corrective course on happiness and a call to regard life’s twists and turns with a more open
mind,
▪ Everyone wants to be happy and successful and yet the pursuit of both has never been more elusive

▪ happiness is not the result of good genes or luck. Real, lasting happiness comes from focusing on one’s
personal strengths rather than weaknesses

▪ the real guarantor of success may not be inborn talent but a special blend of resilience and single-
mindednes

▪ We can't control everything in life.

Things can — and will — get better. Just give it some time. Try to live by that idea and look on the bright
side.

▪ If you look to others for fulfillment, you will never be fulfilled. If your happiness depends on money,
you will never be happy with yourself. Be content with what you have; rejoice in the way things are.
When you realize there is nothing lacking, the world belongs to you

content with what you have; rejoice in the way things are. When you realize there is nothing lacking, the
world belongs to you

▪ Doing what you like is freedom. Liking what you do is happines

▪ Even a happy life cannot be without a measure of darkness, and the word happy would lose its
meaning if it were not balanced by sadness. It is far better to take things as they come along with
patience and equanimity." Carl Jung

When one door of happiness closes, another opens, but often we look so long at the closed door that
we do not see the one that has been opened for us."
Happiness is not having what you want. It is appreciating what you have."

Most of us are just about as happy as we make up our minds to be."

True happiness...arises, in the first place, from the enjoyment of one's self."

▪ Happiness is where we find it, but very rarely where we seek it." J. Petit Senn

As people spin faster and faster in the pursuit of merely personal happiness, they become exhausted in
the futile effort of chasing themselves.”

Learn to value yourself, which means: fight for your happiness.”

We can’t control the world. We can only (barely) control our own reactions to

▪ it. Happiness is largely a choice, not a right or entitlement.”

Happiness is the interval between periods of unhappiness.”

The world is full of people looking for spectacular happiness while they snub contentment.”

The essence of philosophy is that a man should so live that his happiness shall depend as little as

▪ possible on external things.”

We tend to forget that happiness doesn’t come as a result of getting something we don’t have, but
rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have.”

The search for happiness is one of the chief sources of unhappiness.”

Three grand essentials to happiness in this life are something to do, something to love,

▪ and something to hope for

▪ You can’t be happy unless you’re unhappy sometimes.”

▪ order to have great happiness you have to have great pain and unhappiness – otherwise how would
you know when you’re happy?”

Happiness is not the absence of problems, it’s the ability to deal with them.”

“Happiness is the meaning and the purpose of life, the whole aim and end of human existence.”

The happiness of your life depends upon the quality of your thoughts.”

No one is in control of your happiness but you; therefore, you have the power to change anything about
yourself or your life that you want to change.”

Man is fond of counting his troubles, but he does not count his joys. If he counted them up as

▪ he ought to, he would see that every lot has enough happiness provided for it.”
You will never be happy if you continue to search for what happiness consists of. You will never live if
you are looking for the meaning of life.”

If there were in the world today any large number of people who desired their own happiness more
than they desired the unhappiness of others, we could have a paradise in a few years.”

Happiness is important for functioning and well-being; it promotes goal achievement, facilitates

▪ Conclusion

The present results replicate the association between excessive valuing of happiness and heightened
levels of depression in a sample at a British university. Importantly, valuing happiness and depressive
symptoms were associated through heightened use of a maladaptive emotion regulation strategy,
suppression, and impaired attentional control. Further, there was a cross-sectional double mediation
between attentional control and reappraisal: Valuing happiness was associated with poorer attentional

▪ control and less use of reappraisal which in turn was associated with increased depressive symptoms.
This suggests that valuing happiness is associated with impaired attentional control in response to
internal and external emotional events and with dysfunctional use of some of the investigated emotion
regulation strategies and abilities

▪ At first glance, valuing happiness should lead to positive outcomes, because it is assumed that the
more one values happiness the happier one will be. Models of goal pursuit (e.g., Mischel, Cantor, &
Feldman,

1996) generally back up this intuition. According to such models, people’s values determine what they

want to achieve, which in turn will lead them to work toward that goal. This can be illustrated with an
example from another domain: A person who highly values academic excellence will want to achieve
high grades and, thus, study harder. All else being equal, valuing academic excellence will result in better

Applying this logic, valuing happiness should result in greater happiness.

▪ At a second glance, however, a particular feature of goal pursuit may lead to possible negative
outcomes of valuing happiness. People’s values determine not only what they want to achieve but also
the standards against which they evaluate their achievements (Carver & Scheier, 1981). The person who
highly values academic achievement and wants to achieve high grades is bound to be disappointed at
times when he falls short of his high standards. In the case of academic achievement, this may not
matter for the goal at hand – someone

▪ Some people thrive on making others miserable. In general, they are people that are not happy
themselves. They are chronically disatisfied individuals. If they are not happy themselves, they can’t
tolerate to see that someone else is. So, they have to set out to make someone else’s life miserable. In
that way, by bringing them down, they feel better about themselves. They live constantly comparing
themselves with everyone else. To compensate for their unconscious uinferiority feelings they bring
others down.

They do it by putting them down at every occassikn and putting themselves on a narcissistic pedestal.

▪ This is the usual ill intended person issue. Others, much more serious cases, such as the perverse,
malignant individuals—such as the socio and psychopaths and the sadists—extract sexual pleasure from
the suffering of others. The psychopath for example enjoys seeing others, not just suffering, but getting
anxious. These individuals will go to great lengths to cause feelings of dread, angst, and despair in others.
The more anxiety in the other the greater their twisted enjoyment

▪ Although our culture promotes positivity and happiness as the norm and possibly even a requirement
of success, being a human means you have a range of core emotional needs and will experience a range
of emotional states in any day. It is ok to feel unhappy, bored or discontent some of the time. If you are
persistently or even chronically unhappy it is time to look at what you can do to change this

▪ Unhappiness can be maintained and even lead to depression if you change your daily habits
significantly when you feel unhappy. Chronic unhappiness can also be contributed to by unhelpful
beliefs such as that life is hard, that you have no control over your life, that others are to blame and
believing the worst is likely to happen
▪ If your unhappiness has occurred as the result of a life event it is likely temporary. Nurture yourself and
avoid changing too many of your daily habits during this period. Avoid spending too much time alone
and make sure you do something each day that is pleasant or gives you a sense of achievement. If your
unhappiness is chronic, in that it has persisted for a month or more then you may need professional
help you shift your unhappiness.

▪ The pursuit of happiness is a defining theme of the modern era. But what if people aren't very good at
it

▪ This is largely because human nature is surprisingly ill-suited to the pursuit of happiness. For the
happiness that counts for well-being is not a matter of what we think about our lives, but of the quality
of our emotional conditions. Yet our emotional lives are remarkably difficult to grasp. Moreover, we
make a variety of systematic errors in the pursuit of happiness. These considerations suggest that we
should rethink traditional assumptions about the good life a

▪ By now the world population is more than 7.5 billion people.

And have you ever thought about how many of the people are happy? Are you happy? Are your relatives,
friends, colleagues and acquaintances happy?

▪ There is 21 century, but the number of unhappy people is increasing every day. In antiquity, people
lived only to 35-40 years. Moreover, the living conditions of the early man was very dangerous; he was
surrounded by wildness, predatory animals and birds, who willingly took the last food from him.
Therefore, the life of an early man was not

easy, and more likely it was not life, but it was survival. Early people lived in caves, which were their only
haven. And what is now? In our modern world there are the Internet, advances in medicine, high-speed
cars, comfortable apartments, entertainment to suit any taste, every year you can go on holiday to any
part of the world, and nevertheless many people are still unhappy.
And what is now? In our modern world there are the Internet, advances in medicine, high-speed cars,
comfortable apartments, entertainment to suit any taste, every year you can go on holiday to any part
of the world, and nevertheless many people are still unhappy.

▪ we're suggesting that it is possible to be happy regardless of the present circumstances in which we
find ourselves-that unhappiness doesn't just happen, but that it may be self-imposed. Further, this
chosen state may have less to do with what is happening in the present and more to do with warding off
a fearfully anticipated future

▪ WHAT IF we have fallen in love with unhappiness? Although we all wish to be happy, many of us fall
into a set pattern of failures when we find ourselves in certain circumstances. On the conscious level, we
think we are earnestly seeking happiness, but unconsciously, we may be choosing the patterns of
thinking and action that will eventually lead us to unhappiness.

▪ The path to happiness begins with becoming aware of the negative patterns that we fall into.

▪ takes you inside your mind and shows you that happiness is a choice and not caused by external
sources

▪ What do you do when you don't know what to do? What do you do after all your attempts to resolve
your unhappiness have failed? Feeling powerless to resolve an unhappy situation can lead to physical
illnesses and social and psychological problems. When failing to control someone, or something, that
cannot be controlled, desperation can lead to creating other behaviors to alleviate frustration and
unhappiness.

▪ At the core of all of one's unhappiness can be found a very common thread . . . unsatisfying
relationships.

▪ Excluding natural disasters, war, and poverty, when was the last time you ever felt unhappy that it
didn't
▪ involve someone who was important to you at the time? Understanding how we receive information
and process it leads to the choices we make in our efforts to pursue happines

▪ We appear to have more control over our lives than ever before. If we could get things right – the
perfect job, relationship, family, body and mind – then we’d be happy. With enough economic growth
and technological innovation, we could cure all societal ills. The Happiness Problem shows that this way
of thinking is too simplistic and can even be harmful: no matter how much progress we make, we will
still be vulnerable to disappointment, loss and suffering. The things we do to make ourselves happy are
merely the tip of the iceberg

▪ If You’re Not Happy with What You Have, You Might Never be Happy

▪ ’ll be happy when: I buy my dream car; I buy a home in a certain address; I have a million dollars in the
bank; I find my dream partner. Does this sound familiar? How many times have you heard someone say
this or something similar?

The search for happiness is not something new.

Human beings have been constantly searching for happiness since the dawn of recorded history.

▪ People have become too materialistic, and happiness has been pegged on collecting more material
things. We constantly want more and think that we will be happy when we get it.

We believe that we will be happy when we get more money, a better car, a bigger house, a more
beautiful spouse, a better job, and so on.

Unfortunately, this is just an illusion that has led to something known as destination addiction.

▪ We think that happiness is in the next destination, whether that destination is a car, a house, a job or
a partner.
If you are preoccupied with the idea that you will be happy once you achieve something you don’t have
at the moment, you need to stop in your tracks.

Happiness is a personal choice. It is the result of your thoughts and actions in the present moment

▪ the words of

Jim Rohn, happiness is something you design for the present, not something you postpone for the future

▪ Being happy is a matter of focusing on the good things you have going for you at the moment, rather
than worrying yourself with expectations about the future, which is not assured.

If you don’t stop the preoccupation with the next big thing and focus on being happy with what you
have now, there is a chance you just might never be happy.

Fortunately, being happy with what you have is something you can learn – all it takes is a little conscious
thought.

Below are some tips on how you can stop obsessing over what you don’t have and be happy with your

life as it is right now, even as you work to make it better.

▪ When you ask people what they need to be happy, many of them will respond with a list of conditions
that need to be met in order for them to be happy.
The irony is that by defining things that need to happen for you to be happy, you are actually making it
harder for you to be happy

▪ When you say that ABC has to happen for you to be happy, you create a distinction in your mind
between being happy and not being happy.

Since your mind is logical, being happy when these conditions have not been met would lead to
cognitive dissonance, so in effect your mind keeps you from feeling happy until these conditions have
been met.

▪ To make matters worse, human beings constantly seek growth. Once you get something you wanted,
you start craving for something else.

This means that when you get what you wanted, you will have new conditions that need to be met in
order for you to be happy.

This keeps your goal posts for achieving happiness shifting, thus making it even harder for you to be
happy.

▪ With this in mind, the key to being happy where you are now is to stop defining things that need to
happen in order for you to be happy.

So long as your basic needs – food, shelter and clothing – are met, anything else you need to be happy is
subjective.

It depends on your own ideas of what happiness is. Instead of pegging happiness to something you hope
to have in future, start pegging it to what you currently have.
▪ AVOID THE COMPARISON TRAP

Most times, our happiness is tied to things we don’t even need. Very often, we crave these things simply
because others have them, so we think we should also have them.

How many times have you seen someone spend thousands of dollars to buy a new car, not because
their old car is not working anymore, but because their neighbor or colleague bought a new car?

Researchers even found that neighbors of lottery winners often go bankrupt due to risky financial
decisions made while trying to keep up with their lucky neighbors.

▪ The problem with comparing yourself with others is that it shifts your focus from what you have to
what you don’t have, which in turn makes you feel unsatisfied with what you have.

Sadly, with the internet and social media having become a normal part of our lives today, comparing
ourselves with others has become far too easy.

You log onto Instagram and see photos of your friend on a vacation you cannot afford, and suddenly you
start feeling like your job is not good enough

▪ You log onto Facebook and see that one of your high school friends has purchased a sports car, and
suddenly you start thinking about how old your car is, despite the fact that it runs just fine.

These comparisons can easily make you feel like nothing is going well in your life.

If you want to be happy with where you are in life at the moment, you need to realize that another
person’s success does not translate to failure for you.

Just because someone bought a car or a house by the beach does not mean you need one.
For instance, your neighbor might have gotten a job that requires him to move around a lot, thereby
forcing him to buy a car

▪ This does not mean that you also need a car, yet you work down the street, and your job doesn’t
require you to move around.

Perhaps your neighbor even bought the car on loan and is not happy about the purchase.

▪ The point here is that you should focus on your life and ignore how others live theirs because everyone
is on a different path.

While avoiding the comparison trap is a surefire way of achieving happiness with what you

have, it is not always an easy thing to do.

You cannot simply tell your brain not to compare you with others and hope that it will automatically
stop doing it.

▪ Fortunately, there are some tips you can use to train your mind to stop making useless comparisons.
These include:

Associate with people from diverse backgrounds: Don’t associate with people from only one class. For
instance, if you only associate with people who are richer than you, it will be almost impossible not to
compare yourself to them. If you associate with people from diverse backgrounds, on the other hand,
you won’t be much inclined to compare since you will realize that there are people who are less
privileged that you yet they are also happy.

Limit your use of social media: Social media provides one of the greatest temptations for falling into the
comparison trap. Instead of spending hours on social media checking what people are doing with their
lives, why not spend the time doing something productive? In addition, you should remember that
people are not posting their failures on social media. What you see on social media is only a fraction (the

▪ best fraction) of what their lives are like in real life.

Focus on what you are good at: Find what your unique strengths are and focus on them. Work hard to
be the best at what you are good at. This will make you less inclined to make linear comparisons with
others. For instance, if you are the best actor in your region, you won’t feel like less of an achiever just
because your friend is the best basketball player in the region.

Adopt a mentality of abundance: People who are constantly comparing themselves with others operate
from a scarcity mentality. They think that someone else’s gain is their loss

▪ People with an abundance mentality, on the other hand, know that the world does not work this way.
They know that there is enough for everybody, and that when their friends win it doesn’t mean that
they are losing. When you

▪ adopt the abundance mentality, you stop comparing yourself with others because you know your time
is coming.

▪ When you are suffering from destination addiction, you are so focused on what you need to have that
you forget about what you actually have.

I want you to take a moment to think about all the things you have in your life today.

Did you have some food to eat when you woke up this morning? Are you educated? Do you have a job?
Do you have a place to live? Are you healthy? Are your family members alive? Do you have good
relationships with them? Do you have a spouse or partner who loves you for who you are?

▪ you answered yes to a single one of these questions, you have a reason to be happy.
▪ If you answered yes to most of these questions, then you are probably better off than almost half of
the people on earth.

According to DoSomething.org, about 3 billion people (almost half of the world’s population) survive on
less than $2.50 a

▪ If you are better off than half of the world’s population and you are still unhappy, what do you think
will make you happy

▪ you want to achieve happiness, you should stop focusing on what you don’t have and start being
grateful for what you have

▪ Is there a legitimate reason behind your need for improvement, or are you simply doing it because you
want more?

For instance, if you want a better job because you want to take your kids to a better school, that is a
great thing. If you want a bigger house because you just got your second kid and therefore want more
space, that is great.

However, if you are just chasing a bigger paycheck and a bigger house and a bigger everything because
you think more of everything is better, then you have a problem on your hands.

Here is the thing, there will always be something better out there.

There will be better houses, better cars, more beautiful potential partners, better paying jobs, and

▪ you are chasing something simply because you think more will make you feel better, you will never be
truly happy because there will always be something that is outside your reach.
It has even been scientifically proven that being materialistic leads to unhappiness.

According to a 2001 study by Lisa Ryan and Suzanne Dziurawiec, people with more materialistic values
are more likely to find their lives unsatisfying

▪ Therefore, if you find yourself craving for material things, evaluate the motivations behind the desire.
If you have solid justifications for seeking more, you should use that as a source of inspiration to work
even harder

▪ However, if you are chasing more just because you think having more will make you happier, you
should shift your attention from chasing more to enjoying what you already have.

REALIZE THAT YOU ARE ENOUGH

The feeling that we are not enough is another reason why most of us are unable to achieve happiness.

How many times have you felt like you are not successful enough, not smart enough, not beautiful
enough, not funny enough, not tall enough, and so on?

When you feel like you are not enough, it can be tempting to chase perfection and think that you will be
happy once you achieve the quality you are chasing.

Maybe you feel that you will be happy once you lose 20 pounds or once a certain clique accepts

▪ you and

▪ so on.
▪ However, here is the thing: no one is perfect in this world.

Even the people you admire have something they wish they had.

In addition, our feelings of inadequacy are tied to something else.

For instance, you might feel you are not interesting enough because a certain group of people have not
accepted you into their circle. However, even if you became interesting enough, they might still reject
you because of something else

▪ Feeling inadequate and thinking that you will be happy once you improve something about yourself is
like chasing your own tail. There will always be something to chase

▪ addition, there is nothing you can do about some of these things.

For instance, if you believe you are not tall enough, there is not much you can do about it.

So, should you remain unhappy because of something you have no control over?

To avoid this, you should realize that nobody is perfect and that you are good enough.

Your shortcomings are part of who you are, they are part of what makes you unique.

Don’t beat yourself up because of them. In the end, people who are meant to be in your life will accept
you regardless of your flaws, while those who are not meant to be in your life will reject you even if you
somehow managed to make yourself perfect.
▪ While I said that chasing more and more for the sake of it is the perfect recipe for remaining unhappy
with what you have, lack of growth can also keep you from achieving happiness.

▪ STOP LIVING IN THE PAST OR THE FUTURE

I mentioned earlier that happiness is something you design for the present. It does not depend on your
past or your future.

Still, very many people remain unhappy because they are living in the past or the future.

Their unhappiness is caused by something that happened in the past or something they are hoping for in
future.

While there is nothing wrong with remembering the past and thinking about the future, you should not
things in your past or future influence your happiness.

For some people, achieving happiness is impossible because of something that happened in the past.

▪ Either they think that life shortchanged them, or they feel that they somehow messed their lives.

They cannot be happy because they are essentially living in regret and denial.

Unfortunately, things in the past have already happened, and there is nothing you can do to go back and
change them.

▪ For others, their search for happiness is curtailed by their expectations for the future. They believe that
they will become happy once they achieve something in future.
However, the future is not guaranteed. You cannot go into the future and make it happen now.

Therefore, it makes no sense to let things you have no control over keep you from achieving happiness.
The only time you have control over is the present.

If you want to be happy with your life today, you should stop living in the past or the future and focus on
the moment you have now

▪ WRAPPING UP

In life, we all want to live up to our biggest potential and achieve our greatest levels of success, and
there is nothing wrong with that.

However, many of us obsess so much about what we don’t have that we forget about what we actually
have.

We adopt the belief that we will be happy once we get the next big thing, which unfortunately sets us
up for a life of unhappiness and discontentment.

If you want to live a happy life, you should give

▪ up the idea that happiness is in the next destination and focus on being happy with what you have now.

Fortunately, with the tips shared in this article, you can make a change in your life and learn how to be
happy with your life as it is now
▪ The term "happiness" is also commonly used in regards to SWB and has been defined variously as
"satisfaction of desires and goals" (therefore related to life satisfaction), as a "preponderance of positive
over negative affect" (therefore related to emotional components of SWB),[3] as "contentment",[15]
and as a "consistent, optimistic mood state"[7] and may imply an affective evaluation of one's life as a
whole.[16] Life satisfaction can also be known as the "stable" component in one's life.[3] Affective
concepts of SWB can be considered in terms of momentary emotional states as well as in terms of
longer-term moods and tendencies (i.e. how much positive and/or negative affect a person generally
experiences over any given period of time).[6] Life satisfaction and in some research happiness are
typically considered over long durations, up to one's lifetime.[7