The U.S.

is wrapped in 'collective
grief' from school shootings and
the pandemic—and it's rewiring
our brains, experts say
Published Fri, May 27 2022 1:15 PM EDT

For many, the tragedy that unfolded on Tuesday afternoon in Uvalde,

Texas, brought on an unwelcome and all-too-familiar constellation of
emotions: sadness, anger, shock, frustration and helplessness.

The school shooting in south Texas, which left 19 children and two
teachers dead, came only 10 days after 10 people were shot and killed
in a Buffalo, New York, grocery store. It also came two years into a
pandemic that has claimed more than one million American lives so far.

Losing a loved one involves a particular kind of grief. Deaths of people

you've never met can elicit a different — but no less palpable — kind of
community-level response.

It's known as "collective grief." And experts say it's rewiring our brains,
impairing our ability to reason and make good decisions on a large
scale.

What is collective grief?

Collective grief occurs when a group of people — like a city, country or
those belonging to a particular race or ethnicity — share an extreme
loss, says Melissa Flint, PsyD, an associate professor of clinical
:
 psychology at Midwestern University Glendale who specializes in
thanatology (the study of death, dying and bereavement) and traumatic
loss.

"When major events like the Texas shooting happen, there is a

recognition of enormity and widespread tragedy without a 'reason' to
help us make sense of it," Flint tells CNBC Make It. "We share collective
grief because we have empathy."

But collective grief is more than multiple people being sad about the
same thing. "It's the experience of sharing grief with others," says Nora
Gross, PhD, a visiting assistant professor of sociology at Boston
College. "When we all have a sense that we are feeling something
similar to other people — even other people we don't know — in the
midst of an extreme tragedy, crisis or change." 

Collective grief isn't limited to events with a death toll, either. "We can
also be collectively grieving for the loss of a way of life, a foreclosed
future or a set of unrealized ideals — as in the pandemic, climate grief
or our collective grief over the scourge of gun violence in our country,"
Gross explains.

How do our brains process collective grief? 

Events like school shootings often make people realize that untimely
death is possible in their own lives, rather than something that only
happens to other people.

"We internalize the threat, which leads to grief, anxiety, fear and so
much more," Flint says. "Stress hormones flood our bodies, and we feel
out of control. Without us realizing it, a fight, flight or fear response
:
 becomes what controls our reactions."

In that sense, she says, collective grief and trauma are tightly linked.
And according to a growing body of research, trauma can effectively
"rewire" the brain — at least temporarily — affecting people's ability to
reason, and impairing their day-to-day decision-making abilities.

If a single tragedy can result in all of that, it's hard to imagine the
collective impact on the country of more than two years of constant
losses from the Covid-19 pandemic, police killings, domestic terrorism
and other mass shootings.

"The collective trauma of the past several years has slowly begun to
erode our resilience and our hope," says Flint. "Our brains have not
practiced what it takes to cope with these enormous losses, one after
another, after another. The cumulative effect of this has yet to be seen."

Expert strategies for managing and coping

Processing collective grief starts with being able to recognize what
you're feeling, and understanding that your emotions — from sorrow
and anger to a complete lack of control — are all valid, Flint says.

"Whatever you are feeling, feel it," she says. "Talk about your feelings.
Find support. It's OK to not be OK."

Here are four more tips from Flint, who, in addition to her academic
work, has a private practice where she works with clients dealing with
grief and traumatic loss:

Find a release
:
 Bottling up your emotions rarely ends well. Creative outlets can help.

"Journal, do your art, fall into your music, write or read poetry: Do
whatever allows the conduit of the immensity of your pain to be
released," Flint says. "Vent the internal 'pressure cooker' that has
become our shared response to repeated, unnecessary, life-shattering
events."

Consider attending a public memorial

Some people prefer to grieve privately. For others, grieving publicly can
be an important part of the healing process.

"Vigils can be powerful connections with others who are also hurting
deeply on behalf of these families, and the broader situation going on in
our nation," Flint says.

Be mindful of your media consumption

You can remain informed without allowing the news cycle to destroy
your mental health. Take a break from doomscrolling and watching TV
news coverage of tragic events.

And if you have small children, Flint says, be careful about exposing
them to your stressors: "Our littlest ears ... are very scared and
confused now."

Do something

Grief can make people feel helpless. Taking action may help. Collective
grief can even turn into collective action, spurring organizations like
March for Our Lives and the Black Lives Matter movement in recent
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 years.

"Be a part of solutions where you can, like donating blood, or providing
monetary support for organizations that align with your values," Flint
says.

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