Your class recently attended a discussion on the increase in online courses offered by

colleges and universities. Write an essay for your tutor discussing the advantages and
disadvantages of online learning.

Since the internet revolution in the second middle half (vocab) of the XX twentieth (vocab)
century, society is 1. has been in continuous change. 2. The internet is transforming our lives
for the better (expression). Space and time are not a problem anymore, and services can be
provided in ways never conceived before.*

The internet provides a new way of communication between people: faster than many
traditional ways 3. such as letters, interactive, flexible and able to be used in every place you
want by your phone connection.

Education is taking the benefits of benefiting from (collocation) new technology, and
nowadays we can find an enormous increase in the online courses offered. Knowledge is now
served at home, so there are not space and time problems anymore. People living in remote
areas or busy people can now access to lessons they could not some time times ago
(expression), therefore education is at in our fingertips (expression).

Both consumers and producers benefit from this new paradigm because lessons are provided
online, classrooms are not needed, and institutions (institutional?) costs and consumer prices
decrease. Therefore, education is becoming more affordable and accessible while online
courses are increasing.

On the other hand, not everything is good in the communication age. The internet forgets
those who cannot adapt to new technologies. Traditional companies lose part of their
potential customers and money because they are not covering the market as new online
companies do.

Finally, there is also an increasing lack of human real 4. real human relationships because of
the internet, while we forget we are social creatures and need each other for a healthy
lifestyle.

1. With “since”, it is normally better to use present perfect.

2. Always say “the internet”, because there is only one internet, like “the Earth, the moon
etc”.
3. “Such as” or “like” mean “for example”. “As” can be used in other ways to mean “the
function of”.
4. Adjective order – opinion first, then fact. “A fantastic new film”. Real is an opinion,
human is a fact.
Communication – 3 – clear argument, formal language, good. Could benefit from a clearer
conclusion, summarising your argument instead of introducing a new idea.
Organisation – 4 – good essay structure, and very well connected with linking words to help
coherence.
Language – 2 – mostly good, some parts read a bit unnaturally, as you said on Whatsapp, a bit
translated from Spanish, but there are also some good high-level structures.
Overall – 9/12 – this would pass the writing exam. I am trying to be strict, but it’s good.
*underlined = good, high-level structure/grammar etc