SEX AND THE CITY REALTOR.- How about if we start at It’s like the riddle of the Sphinx.

Why
the top and work our way down? There are there so many great-unmarried
Pilot Episode are 4 bedrooms upstairs. Do you have women, and no great-unmarried men?
any children? I explore these sorts of issues in my
Carrie, column and I have terrific sources – my
Samantha, T.- Not yet! friends
Elizabeth,
Charlotte, C.- That day Tim popped the question MAN 1 When you’re a young guy in
Miranda, your twenties, women are controlling the
Capote, T.- How would you like to have dinner relationships. By the time you’re an
Tim, with my folks Tuesday night? eligible man in your thirties you feel like
Big, you’re being devoured by women.
Skipper, E.- I’d love to! Suddenly the guys are holding all the
Standford, chips. I call it a mid-thirties power flip
Peter, C.- On Tuesday he called with some bad
news MAN 2 It’s all about age and Biology. I
C.- Once upon a time, an English mean if you wanna get married, it’s to
journalist came to New York… Elizabeth T.- My mother’s not feeling very well have kids, right? And you don’t wanna
was attractive and bright and right away do it with someone older than 35 ‘cos
she hooked up with one of the city’s E.- Well gosh! I’m sorry then you have to have kids right away
typically eligible bachelors. and that’s about it. I think these women
T.- Could we take a raincheck? should just forget about marriage and
T.- The question remains ‘Is this really a have a good time.
company we want to own?’ E.- Of course. Tell your Mum I hope
she feels better. M.- I have a friend, who’s always gone
C.- T.- was 42. A well-liked and out with extremely sexy guys and just
respected investment banker who made C.- When she hadn’t heard from him for had a good time. One day she woke up
about 2 million a year….They met one 2 weeks she called and she was 41. She couldn’t get any
evening in typical New York fashion at a more dates. She had a complete physical
gallery opening E.- Tim, its Elizabeth, that’s an awfully breakdown. Couldn’t hold on to her job
long rain check! and had to move back to Winsconsin to
T.- Like it? C.- He said he was up to his ears and live with her mother
that he’d call her the next day Trust me, this is not a story that makes
E.- Yes actually, I think its quite men feel bad
interesting. What? E.- He never did call of course! Bastard
C.- she told me one day over coffee… CH.- Most men are threatened by
T.- I feel like I know you from successful women. If you want to get
somewhere? E.- I don’t understand. In England, these guys, you have to keep your mouth
looking at houses together would have shut and play by the rules.
E.- Doubtful, I only just moved here meant something
from London. SK.- I totally believe that love conquers
C.- Then I realised no-one had told her all. Sometimes you just have to give it a
T.- London? Really? That’s my all time about the end of love in Manhattan. little space, and that’s exactly what is
favourite city! missing in Manhattan – the space for
C.- Welcome to the age of romance
E.- Oh! It is? “uninnocence”. No one has ‘Breakfast at
Tiffany’, and no one has ‘Affairs to P.- The problem is expectations. Older
T.- Absolutely! Remember’… Instead we have breakfast women don’t want to settle for what’s
at 7am, and affairs we try to forget as available.
C.- It was love at first sight quickly as possible.
Self-protection and closing the deal are M.- By the time you reach your mid
E.- You know. I think perhaps I have paramount. Cupid has flown the co-op. thirties you think‘Why should I settle?’
met you somewhere before How the hell did we get into this mess? You know?
C.- For 2 weeks they snuggled…went to C.- There are thousands, maybe tens of CH.- It’s like the older we get the more
romantic restaurants… …had wonderful thousands of women like this in the city. we keep self-selecting down to a smaller
sex, and shared their most intimate We all know them and we all agree and smaller group
secrets. they’re great. They travel, they pay
One warm Spring day he took her to a taxes, they’ll spend $400 on a pair of P.- What women really want is Alec
town house he saw in Sundays ‘New Minolo Blahnik strappy sandals and Baldwin
York Times’. they’re alone.
CP.- There’s not one woman in NY who

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hasn’t turned down ten wonderful guys in a relationship with you but as soon as talent agency who at the moment was
‘cos they were too short, or too fat or too you only want them for sex they don’t down to a single client.
poor like it. All of a sudden they can’t So are you telling me you’re in love?
perform the way they’re supposed to!
M.- I have been out with some of those ST.- How could I possibly sustain a
guys, the short, fat poor ones. It makes S.- That’s when you dump them! relationship? You know Derek takes up
absolutely no difference. They’re just as like a thousand per cent of my time
self-centred and unappreciative as the C.- Come on ladies, are we really that
good-looking ones cynical? What about romance? C.- Don’t you think you’re being a little
obsessive?
P.- Why don’t these women just marry a S.- & M.- ehhhh who needs it?
fat guy? Why don’t they just marry a B. ST.- Carrie, I’m a passionate person. His
-fat tub of lard? CH.- Yeah! career is all I care about. I have to put
my personal life on hold. When that’s
Happy Birthday dear , Happy birthday to M.- It’s like that guy Jeremiah, the poet. under control, then I can concentrate on
you! I mean the sex was incredible but then he my personal life
wanted to read me his poetry and go out
C.- Another thirty something birthday to dinner and the whole chat bit and I’m C.- Stanford, he’s an underwear model
with a group of unmarried female like lets not even go there.
friends… We would all have preferred a ST.- With a billboard in Times Square.
nice celebratory conference call CH.- What are you saying? Are you Oh my god, don’t look turn around. The
saying that you’re just going to give up loathe of your life is at the bar
M.- You were saying? on love?
C.- It was Kurt Harrington, a mistake I
S.- Look, you’re a successful ALL Noooo made when I was 26, 29…. And 31
saleswoman in this city. You have two CH.- That’s just sick
choices you can bang your head against ST.- Carrie, don’t even go there
the wall and try and find a relationship or C.- You believe me, the right guy comes C.- What? Do you think I’m a
you can say SCREW ‘EM, and just go along and you two right here, the whole masochist?? The man is scum.
out and have sex like a man thing (whistles) right out the window
ST.- Good, because I don’t have the
C.- you mean with dildos? CH.- That’s right! S.- & M.- No patience to clean up this mess for the
S.- Noooo. I mean without feeling! fourth time
S.- Listen to me, the right guy is an
C.- Samantha Jones was a NY illusion, you don’t understand that, you C.- Will you relax? I don’t have a shred
inspiration. A PR Executive she routinely can’t start living your life of feeling left.
slept with good looking guys in their ST.- Thank God!
twenties C.- So you think it’s really possible to
pull off this whole women having sex C.- Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to
S.- Remember that guy I was going out like men thing? visit the ladies room
with? Oh god! What was his name? ST.- Carrie!
Drew? S.- You’re forgetting ‘The Last
Seduction’ C.- It was true, I no longer felt a thing
ALL Drew!! C.- You’re obsessed with that movie for Kurt. After all these years I finally
C.- Drew the sex god! saw him for what he was a self-centred,
M.- Okay Linda Fiorentino fucking that withholding creep who was still the best
S.- Right well afterwards, I didn’t feel a guy up against the chain link fence sex I ever had in my life. However I did
thing. It was like ‘Hey babe, gotta go, S.- and never having one of those ‘Oh have a little experiment in mind. Kurt,
catch ya later’ and I completely forgot my god. What have I done?’ epiphanies wow! What are you doing here?
about him after that
CH.- I hated that movie K.- Hey babe God you look gorgeous
C.- But are you sure that isn’t just C.- Thanks. So how’s life?
because he didn’t call you? C.- Was it true? Were women in NY
really giving up on love and throttling up K.- Not bad, can’t complain. You?
S.- Sweetheart, this is the first time in the on power? What a tempting thought C.- Oh you know, still writing the
history of Manhattan that women have ST.- You know I’m beginning to think column. The usual. So, you seeing
had as much money and power as men the only place one can still find love and anyone special?
plus the equal luxury of treating men like romance in NY is the gay community.
sex objects It’s straight love that’s become closeted K.- Not really, you?
C.- Oh just a couple guys. Well you look
M.- Yeah, except men in this city fail on C.- Stanford Blatch was one of my good though
both counts. I mean, they don’t wanna be closest friends. He was the owner of a

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K.- So do you C.- Are you sure you’re not gay? was the crème de la crème of NY
C.- Sooo what are you doing later? whipped into a frenzy. Sometimes you
SK.- No. I’m sensitive and I don’t got a soufflé, sometimes cottage cheese
K.- I thought you weren’t talking to me objectify women. You know most guys,
for the rest of your life? when they meet a girl for the first time, M.- It is like a model bomb exploded in
the first thing that they see is.. um.. you this room tonight. Is there a woman here
C.- Who said anything about talking? know aside from me who weighs more than
K.- What do you say to my place, three 100 pounds?
o’clock? C.- Pussy?
C.- All right, see ya there SK.- Oh god. Oh! I hate that word. SK.- I know! It's like Undereaters
Don’t you have any friends that you can Anonymous
ST.- Are you out of your mind? What the hook me up with?
hell do you think you’re doing? M.- That’s funny Skippy
C.- They’re too old for you SK.- Skipper
C.- Oh, calm down, its research. SK.- I like older women
Oh God, Oh Kurt M.- I have this theory that men secretly
Kurt was just like I remembered, better C.- Maybe, maybe my friend M.- hate pretty girls because they feel like
because this time there would be none of SK.- When? they’re the ones that rejected them in
that messy emotional attachment high school
C.- Tomorrow night. We’re all going
K.- All righty, my turn! downtown to this club ‘Chaos’ SK.- Right, but if you’re not part of the
C.- Oh sorry, I have to go back to work SK.- Great! … Don’t tell her I'm nice ‘Beauty Olympics’ you can still become
K.- What? Are you kidding? You’re a very interesting person
serious? C.- M.- was going to hate Skipper.
She'd think he was mocking her with his M.- Are you saying that I’m not pretty
C.- Oh yeah, completely. But I’ll give sweet nature and decide he was an enough?
you a call. Maybe we can do this again asshole, the way she had decided all SK.- No no no. Or course you are
sometime? men were assholes. Hello
M.- So ipso facto I'm can't be
K.- Yeah, but…. CH.- Hey Carrie, it's Charlotte interesting. Women either fall into one of
C.- As I began to get dressed, I realized C.- Hey sweetie two categories beautiful and boring, or
that I’d done it. I’d just had sex like a homely and interesting? Is that what
man. CH.- Hey, look I can’t meet you guys for you’re saying to me?
I left feeling powerful, potent and dinner tomorrow night because I have an
incredibly alive. I felt like I owned thisamazing date. SK.- No, that’s not what I meant
city. Nothing and no-one could get in my C.- With who? M.- Excuse me, is this your hand on my
way leg?
CH.- Capote Duncan. He's supposedly SK.- No
C.- he’s very handsome some B. -shot in the publishing world.
MAN There ya go Do you know him? M.- All right, let’s just keep them where
I can see ‘em. All right? Well I guess you
C.- Number 2 he's not wearing a C.- Did I know him? He was one of the must find me beautiful… or interesting
wedding ring, and number 3 he knows I city’s most ‘ungettable’ bachelors
carry a personal supply of ultra textured C.- I was just about to rescue Skipper
Trojans with a reservoir tip CH.- Wait, don’t even answer that from an increasingly hopeless situation
Thanks a lot question because frankly I don’t care and when suddenly
another thing I’m not buying into any of
MAN Anytime that women having sex like men crap K.- Lucky me! Twice in one week
C.- Well I don’t know if you're going to
C.- Later that night Skipper Johnston C.- I didn’t want to tell her about my be getting that lucky
met me for coffee and confessed a afternoon of cheap and easy sex and how
shocking intimate secret, Thank you good it felt. All right. Listen, have a K.- You know I was really pissed off the
good time and promise to tell me way you left the other day
SK.- Do you know, it’s been like a year? everything
C.- You were?
C.- Really? I don’t understand that. CH.- Well if you’re lucky! Bye
You’re such a nice guy K.- Yeah. Then I thought – how great!
C.- All right, bye You finally understand the kind of
SK.- That’s the problem. I'm too nice, Friday night at Chaos. It was just like relationship I really want and now we
you know? I'm a romantic. I just have so that bar in Cheers where everybody can have sex without commitment
much feeling knows your name, except here they were
likely to forget it 5 minutes later. Still it C.- Yeah right, I guess. So whenever I

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feel like it I’ll give you a call tomorrow C.- M.- told me later that she thought
CP.- I’ll get you a cab he was too nice, but that she was willing
K.- Yeah please, I mean WHENEVER to overlook one flaw
you feel like it. If I'm alone, I'm all yours C.- Charlotte told me later she thought
that she had played the entire evening C.- Capote Duncan found his fix for the
C.- Right flawlessly night
K.- I like this new you, call me S.- Where is it? I wanna see the Ross
CP.- So, what are you doing next Blechner
C.- Yup, I didn’t understand. Did all Saturday?
men secretly want their women CH.- I’m having dinner with you. CP.- Wait, later. Later. Oh listen, I uh, I
promiscuous and emotionally detached? gotta get up really early, and actually you
And if I was really having sex like a man CP.- Hey, wait, you're going to the West can't stay over. Cool?
why didn’t I feel more in control? Side, right? S.- Sure, I have to get up really early too
CH.- Right, West 4th and Bank, please C.- and so another Friday night in
S.- You see that guy? He's the next Manhattan crept towards dawn, and just
Donald Trump except he's younger and CP.- Hey, scoot over, will ya? Two when I thought I would have to do the
much better looking stops, 4th and Bank, and West Broadway unspeakable, walk home…
C.- Hi and Broom
B. -Well, get in for Christ’s sake. Where
S.- You know him? CH.- You're going to Chaos? can I drop you?
C.- No. I’ve never seen him in my life CP.- Oh yeah! C.- 72nd Street and 3rd Avenue
CH.- Why? B. -Have you got that Al?
S.- He usually only dates models, but
hey I'm as good-looking as a model plus CP.- Look, I understand where you're ALL Yes, sir
I own my own business coming from and I totally respect it, but I B. -So, what have you been doing lately?
really need to have sex tonight!
C.- Samantha had the kind of self-
deluded confidence that caused men like C.- Back at Chaos, things were C.- You mean, besides going out every
Ross Perot to run for President and it swinging into high gear and Samantha night?
usually got her what she wanted was putting the moves on Mr B. - B. -Yeah, I mean what do you do for
work?
S.- Well if you're not gonna hit on him, I B. -I've been smoking cigars for years, C.- Well, this is my work, I'm sort of a
will back when they were terminally uncool sexual anthropologist
B. -You mean like a hooker?
C.- and there she's went, off to take her S.- I've got this great source that sends
best shot with Mr Big. Meanwhile me Hondurans. Do you want to try one? C.- No, I write a column called Sex and
Charlotte York was passing the most the City. Right now, I'm researching an
splendid evening with Capote Duncan B. -No, thank you article about women who have sex like
S.- Really? You can't find them men. You know, they have sex and then
CP.- Wanna come back to my place and anywhere afterwards they feel nothing
see the Ross Blechner?
CH.- I’d love to, but it's really getting B. -Cohibas, that’s all I smoke. B. -But you're not like that
late C.- Well, aren’t you?
S.- Look I do the PR for this club and I
CP.- No problem have the key to the private room B. - Not a drop, not even half a drop
CH.- What year was it painted again? downstairs C.- Wow, what’s wrong with you?
CP.- ‘89
B. -Really? B. -I get it, you’ve never been in love C.-
C.- Though Charlotte was determined to S.- You want a private tour? Oh yeah?
play hard to get, she didn’t want to end B. -Yeah
the evening too abruptly. B. -No thanks, but maybe another time
C.- Suddenly I felt the wind knocked
CH.- Well, maybe just for a minute C.- Meanwhile Skipper Johnston was out of me. I wanted to crawl under the
This could easily go for a hundred grand. hopelessly smitten with M.- Hobbes covers and go right to sleep.
Ross is so hot right now. It's beautiful SK.- So where are we going now? Thanks for the ride
B. -Anytime
CP.- No you're beautiful M.- Listen Skippy, you know you're a C.- Wait Have you ever been in love?
CH.- Thank you for tonight nice, sweet guy but… B. -Abso- fuckin’-lutely.
CP.- Yeah?
CH.- I had a wonderful time SK.- Oh, I understand www.satctranscripts.com
CP.- Well, it was my pleasure. M.- Goodnight.
CH.- I have to get up really early

LiveScripts - Sex and the City - Pilot Episode. pg. 4