02 │ 14 │2022

Dearest Papa God,

I am at the process of reconciliation with myself and strengthening the red string
intertwined to you. I’ve been feeling it. And it feels great, Papa God. To be near you again.
Lately, I have been cursing myself to death. I don’t like the I, am becoming. I see myself in the
mirror with nothing but a barren, useless trash. True, I have developed that bad habit. I can’t
seem to understand the pain that stings a lot, the hole that digs deeper than the supposed area it
should only occupy, the vagueness of all the things I once love. How can they easily turn into a
bizarre state? How can they be so queer now? What did I miss?
I did miss a lot.
Papa God, even without telling this to you through writing, I knew that you already knew
what I feel. I couldn’t hide a single thing from you. I am so sorry if my mind wanders too much.
If I have taken control over my life instead of relying in you. I should have rested and
surrendered everything to you just like the old times; my younger self who used to talk to you
every night before I went to bed. The long stories I told you when it should be understood that
you were there too when it happened. Without doubts, you prepared them for me for my soul to
be full and insanely happy. You’re making my life, LIFE.
I am so ashamed of myself trying to decode the patterns of lengthening the distance of my heart
from yours. When I see nothing instead of redirection, I feel agony instead of hope, I became too
self-reliant that I avoid asking for your help. When I should have extended my arms fully, I
decided not to.
I only believe words that is in my liking, blinded by the veracity of weak faith, hollow
soul, and grave sins. Papa God, you have chosen ME a million times over. I am choosing you,
this time. I thank you for always believing that I’ll be back home. Thank you for welcoming me,
once again.
From this day forward, I promise to worship you and serve you. All that there is to me, I
offer it you Papa God.

A sheep who’s lost for a while,

Dayday_barangirit 

P.S. Solomon 1: 12----“Ayaw pagpatya imong kaugalingon pinaagi sa daotan nga buhat.”