9/7/22, 1:13 PM How To Do Interior Monologue In Fiction Writing

How To Do Interior Monologue In Fiction Writing

advancedfictionwriting.com/blog/2012/04/18/how-to-do-interior-monologue-in-fiction-writing/

Randy Ingermanson April 18, 2012

How do you correctly go inside the head of your lead character when writing a scene in
your novel?

David posted this question on my “Ask A Question For My Blog” page:

As always, thanks for your time. The question on your last blog post about “Camera
Management” brought to mind a similar question. How should one format a switch
from POV camera angle to POV inner monologue? Do you put the inner monologue in
to italics? Does it need it’s own stanza/paragraph/line? An example I’m having trouble
with is below:

Paul walked across the room and picked the neatly organized pile of papers up off
Todd’s desk. He shuffled them out of order and turned some upside down and
backwards. That’ll get him (Italics? Add “he thought”?). Paul left the room with a sense
of vindication.

This is a simple example, but I find that there are many sections of my writing where I
face this dilemma. Ultimately, my question boils down to this, when writing in the
different POVs, when should you follow inner monologue with “he/she thought”? When
should it be in italics? How should it be formatted?

Randy sez: Handling interior monologue (or interior emotion) is like riding a bike. Once you
get it, you’ve got it forever and can never have a problem with it again. But until you get it,
the whole thing might seem awkward.

There are two kinds of interior monologue, direct and indirect.

Direct interior monologue tells you the exact thoughts of the character, using exactly the
words he is thinking. Many writers prefer to write direct interior monologue using italics. (I’m
in this camp.) The trend in recent years has been to eliminate the italics if it’s clear that these
are the verbatim words going through the POV character’s mind.

Indirect interior monologue tells the approximate thoughts of the character, without giving
the exact words he’s thinking. So far as I know, nobody ever writes these using italics.

Most novelists use both direct and indirect interior monologue, mixing them well, because
it just feels better when you do so.

Now how do you insert interior monologue into a scene?

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9/7/22, 1:13 PM How To Do Interior Monologue In Fiction Writing

Follow these simple rules of thumb, and you’ll get it exactly right 95% of the time:

Each paragraph should focus on either the POV character for the scene or on
anything else in the scene (one or more of the other characters, the setting, etc.).
If a paragraph focuses on the POV character, then you have four tools at your
disposal, which you can mix and match as you like–Action, Dialogue, Interior
Monologue, and Interior Emotion. If the paragraph goes on too long, it’s fine to break it
up into multiple paragraphs. The Action and Dialogue should show what the POV
character is doing or saying. The Interior Monologue and Interior Emotion should show
what the POV character is thinking or feeling.
If a paragraph focuses on anything other than the POV character, then you have
three tools, which you can again mix and match as you like–Action, Dialogue, and
Sensory Description. The Action and Dialogue will show what non-POV characters do
and say, but you should only show them if the POV character can actually see them or
hear them. The Sensory Description will show anything that the POV character can
see, hear, smell, taste, or touch. However, you should NEVER bother to say that he is
seeing them, hearing them, smelling them, tasting them, or touching them, because the
reader knows who the POV character is, so it’s a waste of words to say so.

Now let’s look at David’s example. It’s pretty good as it stands but we can juice it up a bit
to get more inside Paul’s skin.

Paul picked up the neatly organized pile of papers off Todd’s desk, shuffled them out of
order and turned some upside down, some backwards. That’ll get the little dweebhead.
Paul strode out of the room. A surge of adrenaline kicked through his veins and his
feet felt light. If this didn’t vindicate him with the boss, nothing would.

If you compare David’s original to this one, you’ll see that I did the following:

Eliminated the stage direction about walking across the room, which isn’t all that
interesting.
Joined the words “picked” and “up.”
Combined the action sentences into a single comma-separated list of actions.
Italicized the interior monologue and changed “him” to “the little dweebhead” which
might be a term that Paul uses a lot, and which therefore feels like it’s his verbatim
thoughts.
Juiced up the verb “left” to “strode”.
Changed the expository phrase “with a sense of vindication” into some interior emotion
(the feelings of adrenaline in his veins and the lightness in his feet) plus some indirect
interior monologue about vindicating Paul in the eyes of his boss.) I’m guessing here
on who Paul wants the vindication from.

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9/7/22, 1:13 PM How To Do Interior Monologue In Fiction Writing

Interior monologue is one of the most powerful tools the fiction writer has. Mix it well
with Action, Dialogue, and Interior Emotion and it’s hard to go wrong.

This has been a quick overview of interior monologue. My Loyal Blog Readers know that
my pesky book WRITING FICTION FOR DUMMIES has quite a bit more detail on how it’s
done.

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