Santos, Shiela Samantha S.

Student Stress Scale

See how many of the following changes have occurred in your life in the past year.
Check all those that apply and then add up your score to see what your stress level
is.

Death of a close member 100

Death of a close friend 73
Divorce of parents 65
Jail term 63
Major personal injury or illness 63
Marriage 58
Fired from job 50
Failed important course 47
Change in health of a family member 45
Pregnancy 45
Sex problems 44
Serious argument with close friend 40
Change in financial status 39
Change in academic major 39
Trouble with parents 39
New girlfriend or boyfriend 38
Increased workload at school 37
Outstanding personal achievement 36
First quarter/semester in college 35
Change in living conditions 31
Serious argument with instructor 30
Lower grades than expected 29
Change in sleeping habits 29
Change in social activities 29
Change in eating habits 28
Chronic car trouble 26
Change in number of family get-togethers 26
Too many missed classes 25
Change of college 24
Dropped more than one class 23
Minor traffic violations 20

Total: 281
Total Points Stress Level
300 + Major stress
250-299 Serious stress
200-249 Moderate stress
150-199 Mild stress
0-149 Very little stress
 Reflection

The test itself is intriguing at first glance, and it oddly stunned me after seeing how
alarming my results were. Judging from my choices of stressors, it was common
occurrences during the gradual shifts between being a teen to sudden adulthood. Not
excluding the fact how these years of isolation took a huge toll on how I have only the
remnants of how I used to be – active, enthusiastic, once full of drive. No significant
social interactions lead me to these creeping urges to withdraw from the world and it
somehow impaired me for a brief while. Believe it or not, I even Googled “how to
disappear without leaving a trace” and ended up laughing at the result “impossible”.

Years past by in almost just a blink of an eye, and I had this dreading feeling like my life
was one unbroken thread, constantly being entangled and stretched out, not forming a
pattern, never weaving into a tapestry. I feel all the stagnation and immobility crashing
into my very eyes after witnessing how my former classmates seems like they have their
life in place. My body became a cradle for ghosts of the people I wanted to be, grieving
on all the graves of it. All those anxiety devouring my already decaying system created a
deeper pit after my father was diagnosed with comorbidity. It was very dismaying for me
because of the increased risk of suffering more critically if they ever contracted the virus.
Looking back at those exact times where I have no one to rely on, it almost feel like I
was on the verge of losing it all. Friendship breakups ruined me to the point of
irreversible damage that will forever scar me. My worth was put into question. I struggled
with my self-image a lot. My hard earned sanity slowly collapsed into ruins that I can only
watch from where I stood, at the rock bottom. After some introspection, I realized that I
never talked about the loneliness. It was like a personal taboo for me because I had to
wear this façade of being strong and collected. Of being the unfazed. This serious stress
level that comes with some physical symptoms is a manifestation of my many
suppressed battles that can be a little more bearable if I welcomed a company. Yes, I
already tried to come to terms with the fact that I shouldn’t keep my human side hidden from
the people I claim to love, for it may be robbing them of the opportunity to act as a friend & stand
to their promise of being there for me, but some deep rooted trauma may be inhibiting me from
all these.

As a result, I built a coping mechanism; I turn to memory when the present reality fails to
suffice as a comfort. Remembering the good old days feels like a sip of a warm
chocolate drink after a class suspension, the damp smell of the street after the heavy
rain and all that freedom I took for granted– full of nostalgia. It was a mix of
disassociation, indifference and numbness all at once. It’s good to be in touch with my
inner child, nonetheless. But sometimes, I’m beginning to think that maybe the only way to go
about it is to embrace the aches when it returns, but to not go seeking for it on the peaceful days
in between.

This stress scale may not be close to accurately identifying my exact level of stress as
an individual because of the limited options because it is made for students, yet it still
shed light on how I needed to work on my healing. It feels nice to unpack this baggage
residing for too long on my chest since writing is the only way to fully comprehend them.