Jane Rekas, LCSW, facilitator at

http://emotionalempowermentdbt.blogspot.com/
Western Psychological & Counseling Services
Class Guidelines
Keep information that comes up in group private.
Please commit to protecting the confidentiality.
Please find a private room where no one else will
interrupt or observe.
If you are going to be late or miss group, please let
group leader know ahead of time. 503-659-5515
x 1279 messages, 971-200-5925 text
Please do not give unsolicited advice. Ask if the
other person wants feedback and what kind. When
you share, you can tell us if you are open to feedback
and what kind you would like.
Please, keep trauma-related information
and self-harm experience to yourself and
do not share this with other members
either in group or outside of group. Please
discuss in your appointments with your
therapist. You may discuss personal
information related to how you are
practicing your DBT skills.
Strive to be non-judgmental about what
other group members say. Find something
that you agree with in what they say, even
if there’s part of it that you disagree with.
2
Mindfulness as Self-Enquiry

● OBSERVE OPENLY
● DESCRIBE with INTEGRITY
● PARTICIPATE without PLANNING
● URGE-SURFING
● SELF ENQUIRY
● AWARENESS of HARSH JUDGMENTS
● ONE MINDFUL AWARENESS
● EFFECTIVENESS and HUMILITY

You may always opt out

3
Group Check In

● Introduce yourself and share something about you or your story

● Today my stress is [level from 0-10]
● overall I am feeling [insert an emotion word].
● One action step towards my life worth living or skill I've used since
the last group (or plan to use) was [share a skill].
● One thing I would like to talk about is [state a topic or issue you
would like to group's help with]
4
 Table of Contents (links to slides)
Class 1: Orientation to Radical
Openness – Why be radically open?
Class 2: Emotions Communicate to
Others— Changing Physiology
Class 3: Engaging in Novel Behavior—
Flexible-Mind VARIEs
Class 4: Learning from Corrective
Feedback-- Flexible-Mind ADOPTS
Class 5: The Art of Validation—
Flexible-Mind Validates
Class 6: Learning to Trust and
enhancing Intimacy – Flexible-Mind
ALLOWs
Class 7: Developing Compassion and
Forgiveness— Flexible-Mind has HEART
Class 8: Increasing Openness & Social
Connectedness via Loving-Kindness
Is RO DBT for you? http://emotionalempowermentdbt.blogspot.com/p/emotional-awareness-following.html
 Sufi Path of Openness

Philosophical backgrounds

DBT RO DBT Mindfulness

Mindfulness practices informed by Sufism
practices
informed by
Zen Buddhism
 Mysticism

Zen is thus the “meditation school” “Sufism is a mystical form of Islam,

of Buddhism. ... Yet in other ways
Zen seems deeply mystical — more
self-consciously mystical than either
Christianity or (general) Islam.
Buddhism places at its very center a
carefully calibrated and exacting
contemplative discipline: zazen.
a school of practice that
emphasizes the inward search for
God and shuns materialism. It has
produced some of the world's most
beloved literature, like the love
poems of the 13th century Iranian
jurist Rumi.”
Rumi quotes on Sufi Symbol of Rose
Bookmark this page: http://emotionalempowermentdbt.blogspot.com/p/radical-openness.html
WORKBOOK
https://drive.google.com/open?id=1pBvhB5qVHlRsp
wd1yn_SuIgVOuyGMgc5
Bookmark this page: http://emotionalempowermentdbt.blogspot.com/p/radical-openness.html
Intro to RO DBT http://emotionalempowermentdbt.blogspot.com/p/radical-openness.html

6 min.
Is RO DBT For You? http://emotionalempowermentdbt.blogspot.com/p/emotional-awareness-following.html

7:45 min
Thomas Lynch, PhD

Thomas R. Lynch is Professor Emeritus in the

School of Psychology at University of
Southampton. He was the Director of the Duke
Cognitive Behavioural Research and Treatment
Program at Duke University (USA) from
1998-2007.

Professor Lynch is the treatment developer of

Radically Open-Dialectical Behaviour Therapy
(RO-DBT)—a new transdiagnostic treatment
Thomas
approach informed by 19 years of clinical Lynch, PhD
research.
Marsha Linehan, PhD

Marsha Linehan is a Professor of Psychology

and a Professor of Psychiatry and Behavioral
Sciences at the University of Washington and
Director of the Behavioral Research and
Therapy Clinics. Linehan developed dialectical
behavior therapy (DBT) as a result of her own
mental illness.

Cognitive-Behavioral Treatment of Borderline Personality

Disorder (Diagnosis and Treatment of Mental Disorders)
May 14, 1993

Skills Training Manual for Treating Borderline Personality

Disorder First Edition, 1993, Second Edition Oct 20, 2014
18
Group Facilitator: Jane Rekas, LCSW

Jane Rekas is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker at

Western Psychological and Counseling Services, in
Gladstone, and Certified Hypnotist, Reiki Master, and
Astrologer. Jane began facilitating DBT in 2005.

emotionalempowermentdbt.blogspot.com

www.janerekaslcsw.com

C.V. and Training

19
Self-Enquiry
Debbie Sorenson IMPACT PSYCHOLOGY COLORADO

INTERVIEW WITH HOPE ARNOLD INTERVIEW WITH HOPE ARNOLD

Part One on Overcontrol: Part Two on RO-DBT:
https://www.offtheclockpsyc https://www.offtheclockpsyc
h.com/podcast/overcontrol-w h.com/podcast/overcontrol-w
ith-hope-arnold-part-1 ith-hope-arnold-part-2
Diary Card

RO DBT Diary Card PDF

RO DBT Diary Card google form

http://emotionalempowermentdbt.blogspot.com/p/mindfulness.html 24
http://emotionalempowermentdbt.blogspot.com/p/distress-tolerance.html
25
http://emotionalempowermentdbt.blogspot.com/p/emotion-regulation.html 26
http://emotionalempowermentdbt.blogspot.com/p/interpersonal-effectiveness.html 27
Week 1: RO DBT Mindfulness

RADICAL OPENNESS MODULE

Class 1: Orientation to Radical Openness – Radically
Open Mindfulness
Learning from Self-Enquiry
Myths of a Closed Mind

Mindfulness What Skills: Observe 12.2

Mindfulness What Skills: Describe 12.2

Mindfulness What Skills: Participate without Planning 12.2

Mindfulness How Skills: Self-Enquiry 13.1

Mindfulness How Skills: Awareness of Harsh Judgments 14.1

Mindfulness How Skills: One-Mindful Awareness 14.1

Mindfulness How Skills: Effectively with Humility 14.1

WHAT skills: observe openly, describe w/ integrity, participate w/o planning

https://youtu.be/gnlwFMzA57E
HOW skills: self-enquiry, awareness harsh judgments, one-mindful, effective humility

https://youtu.be/GArsnGWFVQg
Week 2: Turn Towards Distress

Class 2: Emotions Communicate to

Others—Changing Physiology

Identifying Different Neural Substrates

The Big Three +1: Activating Social Safety 3.1

Practiced Loving-Kindness Meditation:
Maximizing Social Safety 4.1
Flexible-Mind DEF(initely): Three steps for
Radically Open Living 1.B
Neural Substrates: Changing Physiology

Five emotionally relevant stimuli

each linked with
unique neural substrates

—safety, novelty, reward,

threat, overwhelm

https://youtu.be/KGBlxU4_1IA
DEFinitely: Distress - Enquiry - Flexibly respond

https://youtu.be/_1Uz54PPvqw
Week 3

Class 3: Engaging in Novel

Behavior—Flexible-Mind VARIEs
Flexible-Mind VARIEs: Engaging in Novel
Behavior 5.1
Flexible-Mind SAGE sklils: Dealing with Shame,
etc. 8.A
Flexible-Mind is DEEP: Using Values to Guide
Social-Signaling 10.2

Practiced Being Kind to Fixed-Mind 11.2

SAGE: Self-Enquiry-Appease-Go Opposite-Enhance (dealing with Shame)

SAGE handout
Self-Conscious
Emotion Rating Scale

https://youtu.be/sM-9B_QRpLM
DEEP: Determine values, Effectively Express, Enquiry/Examine, Practice

Flexible-Mind is DEEP: Using Values to Guide

Social-Signaling

Identify Valued Goals

DEEP Practice Worksheet

Practiced MATCH+1: Establishing Intimate

Relationships

https://youtu.be/sM-9B_QRpLM
Week 4

Class 4: Learning from Corrective Feedback--

Flexible-Mind ADOPTS
Practiced Learning from Fatalistic-Mind 11.3
Practiced Going Opposite to Fatalistic-Mind 11.B
Practiced Open-Minded Assertiveness: PROVE Skills 18.A
Flexible-Mind ADOPTS: Being Open to Feedback 22.1
PROVES: Provide, Reveal, Other, Valued Goals, Enquiry

Practiced Open-Minded
Assertiveness: PROVE Skills

Identify Valued Goals

Self-Enquiry abotu Rumination
after a Social Interaction 18.1

https://youtu.be/LNkVotsqBug
Week 5

Class 5: The Art of Validation—Flexible-Mind

Validates
Flexible-Mind Validates: Signaling Social
Inclusion 19.A

Practiced the Awareness Curriculum 12.1

Practiced Identifying Push-Backs & Don't
Hurt me Responses 16.1
Flexible Mind Validates

https://youtu.be/AD198OsNU2w
Week 6

Class 6: Learning to Trust and enhancing Intimacy

–Flexible-Mind ALLOWs
Fleixble-Mind ALLOWs: Enhancing Social
Connectedness 21.1
Practiced MATCH+1: Establishing Intimate
Relationships 21.2
Flexible-Mind REVEALs: Responding with
Interpersonal Integrity 16.3
Flexible Mind ALLOWS: Assess, Look, Loosen, Out yourself, Welcome feedback

Enhancing Social
Connectedness

https://youtu.be/z5SbKgy5LbI
Week 7

Class 7: Developing Compassion and

Forgiveness—Flexible-Mind has HEART
Flexible-mind has HEART: Learning How to
Forgive 29.A

Flexible-Mind DARES: Managing Unhelpful Envy 27.A

Flexible-Mind is LIGHT: Changing Bitterness 28.A

Flexible Mind has HEART: Hurt, Edge, Acknowledge, Reclaim, Thankfulness

https://youtu.be/gnlwFMzA57E
Flexible Mind DARES: Determine, Admit, Recognize, Envious, Shameful envy

https://youtu.be/u4IfgT9DbWo
Flexible Mind is LIGHT: Label, Intentions, Go opposite, Help, Practice kindness

5 min.

https://youtu.be/lSdxrU26Ax8
Week 8

Class 8: Increasing Openness & Social

Connectedness via Loving-Kindness
Fleixble-Mind ROCKs-ON: Enhancing
Interpersonal Kindness 17.1
Practiced Loving-Kindness Meditation:
Maximizing Social Safety 4.1

Practiced Kindness First and Foremost 17.B

Flexible Mind ROCKS ON

https://youtu.be/WiLCAfsGsvM
Kindness First and Foremost

https://youtu.be/PvwOXLsWJWg
Intro
 Class 1:
Orientation to Radical Openness –

Mindfulness

Back to Table of Contents

Week RADICAL OPENNESS MODULE
Class 1: Orientation to Radical Openness –
1 Radically Open Mindfulness
Learning from Self-Enquiry
Myths of a Closed Mind

Mindfulness What Skills: Observe 12.2

Mindfulness What Skills: Describe 12.2

Mindfulness What Skills: Participate without
Planning 12.2

Mindfulness How Skills: Self-Enquiry 13.1

Mindulness How Skills: Awareness of Harsh
Judgments 14.1

Mindulness How Skills: One-Mindful Awareness 14.1

Mindfulness How Skills: Effectively with Humility 14.1

 HOMEWORK
Google Form
https://tinyurl.com/y72fbx5o

Homework Week 1
Signaling Matters: Eye Brow Wag
Eyebrow wag

The eyebrow wag

can communicate
social engagement,
invitation to fun,
being “chill,” and
engages the ventral
vagal complex, social
safety system.
Over Control Behavioral Themes
Over Control Behavioral Themes
Over Control Behavioral Themes
Over Control Behavioral Themes
Over Control Behavioral Themes
Self-Care Resources during quarantine
http://www.janerekaslcsw.com/2020/04/self-care-reso
urces.html
● Quarantine Care Package - José F. Mata, L.M.F.T.
● Somatic Centering Practice - Sumitra Rajkumar
(16 min)
● Compassion in the Time of Coronavirus - Jack
Kornfield (13 min)
● Managing in the Midst of COVID-19 - Peter
Levine, Ph.D. (31 min)
● Not Losing Our Minds and Hearts When We Most
Need Them: Mindfulness, Healing, and Wisdom
in a Time of COVID-19 - Jon Kabat-Zinn
(livestreams)
● COVID-19 Anxiety, Cultivating Safeness, and
Polyvagal Theory - Stephen Porges, Ph.D. (PDF)
● A Zen Master's Tips for Staying Sane During
Challenging Times Plum Village (audio)
● Staying Physically Active During Self-Quarantine
● Food and Nutrition Tips
● How to Protect Your Mental Health During
Quarantine (PDF)
● Mental Health Wellness Tips (see post or PDF)
● COVID Calm: Stress Management for Health Care
Professionals
● Coronavirus Online Therapy: Free and Low Fee
Online Therapy Sessions (reduced fee ~$50)
What is RO DBT?
Radically Open

Dialectical Behavior Therapy

Radical Openness •Approval, naively believing, or mindlessly giving in
is not... •Assuming one already knows the answer
•Something that can solely be understood
intellectually—it requires direct and repeated
practice
•Rejecting the past
•Expecting good things to happen
•Being rigid about being open
WHAT skills: observe openly, describe w/ integrity, participate w/o planning
HOW skills: self-enqiry, awareness harsh judgments, one-mindful, effective humility
Radical Openness Handout 1.3

Learning from Self-Enquiry

RO WHAT Skills Handout
RO HOW Skills Handout
Radical Openness Handout 1.4

Myths of a Closed Mind

The Self-Enquiry Method of Ramana Maharshi (hridaya yoga)

https://hridaya-yoga.com/hridaya-yoga-articles/the-self-inquiry-method-of-ramana-maharshi/

“Self-Enquiry is an awareness of the awareness itself. It leads us

beyond duality, because the object of meditation (the “I”) is ultimately
revealed as the Subject itself (the transpersonal Consciousness).
About the Question “Who am I?” in the Meditation for the Revelation of the Spiritual Heart, Atman”

RO DBT is actually based more in Sufism (see later page).

Mindfulness and Self-Examination in Sufism

The Sufi Path to Mindfulness
D - Acknowledge DISTRESS or unwanted emotions
Anxiety, frustration, tension, and the like are emotions that arise when faced with a new and uncertain
situation - for example eating a challenge food. You may also feel distressed when you are invalidated.
For example a support telling you to “get over it”.

The first step in practicing openness is learning to identify situations that will cause emotional upset and
then reminding yourself these uncomfortable emotions are part of the process.

Start by describing what happened. Notice how you feel in your body and observe any tension. This
emotional reaction is your cue to use self-Enquiry.
E - Next you want to use self-Enquiry to learn from the distress rather than automatically
attempting to manage, avoid or fix the emotion. Rather than trying to change your emotional experience
try learning from your emotions instead. Practice being curious with your emotional reactions by asking
yourself questions like:

● Is it possible that these thoughts about my body and food* may be wrong and that I don’t know
what I don’t know? *or fear of criticism, etc.

● What am I afraid of?

● What am I avoiding?

● What can I learn from this that will allow me to enjoy life more?
F - Flexibility. Here is where you respond by doing what is best and needed in the moment, in a
way that is compassionate and honors your healthy self. Practice flexibility by asking yourself the
following questions:

● What is the downside of holding on to food, body, fear of criticism related thoughts and behaviors?

● What goals and values are negatively impacted by my ood, body, fear of criticism related thoughts
and behaviors?

You will need to practice this each time you want to work to challenge food, body, fear of criticism related
thoughts and behaviors.
Main Points for Lesson 1
1.We tend to pay attention to things that fit our
beliefs and ignore or dismiss those things that
do not.
2.We don’t know what we don’t know, and this
keeps us from learning new things.
3.To learn anything new, we must acknowledge
our lack of knowledge and then behave
differently!
4.RO DBT considers psychological health to
involve three core features: (1) receptivity and
openness, (2) flexible control, and (3) intimacy
and connectedness.
5.There are pros and cons to being open, as well
as to being closed.
6.We only need to practice radical openness
when we are closed.
7.Radical openness enhances relationships
because it models humility and a willingness to
learn from the world. Yet, it can be both painful
and liberating because it often requires
sacrificing firmly held convictions or beliefs in
order to learn or connect with another.
8.To practice Use Flexible Mind DEFinitely and
the three steps needed for open living: (1)
acknowledge the presence of an unwanted
private experience, (2) practice self-enquiry by
turning toward the discomfort in order to learn,
and (3) flexibly respond by doing what’s needed
in the moment.
Being Open to New Experiences Being Closed to New Experiences

PROS: PROS:

CONS: CONS:
 Class 2:
Emotions Communicate to
Others—Changing Physiology

Back to Table of Contents

 Class 2: Emotions Communicate to
2 5/8 Others—Changing Physiology

Identifying Different Neural Substrates

The Big Three +1: Activating Social Safety 3.1

Practiced Loving-Kindness Meditation:
Maximizing Social Safety 4.1
Flexible-Mind DEF(initely): Three steps for
Radically Open Living 1.B
Loving Kindness Meditation

6.5 min.
6 min.
 Flexible Mind
DEFinitely

D - Acknowledge Distress or
unwanted emotion

E - Use self-Enquiry to learn

F - Flexibly respond with humility

DEFinitely: Distress - Enquiry - Flexibly respond

9:37 min.
Identifying Different Neural Substrates
98
Distress Tolerance & Polyvagal Theory

26 min.

99
Neural Substrates: Changing Physiology

Five emotionally relevant

stimuli each linked with
unique neural substrates

—safety, novelty,
reward, threat,
overwhelm
Neural Substrates

The neuroregulatory system is bi-directional (mind-body unity)

■ Broadly speaking…when one neural substrate is “ON” the other is “OFF”

■ When it comes to OC: What’s most important is the social-safety system

Social Safety System: ventral vagal complex of the parasympathetic
nervous system; PNS-VVC
Neural Substrates

■When our social safety system (PNS-VVC) is activated we feel calm,

relaxed, and sociable. Our breathing is slow and deep and our heart rate is
reduced. We are more likely to want to approach and touch others; and we
can effortlessly make eye contact (without feeling self-conscious)
Neural Substrates

■Our social safety system innervates muscles in our body needed to

communicate and form close social bonds (Porges, 2007), including:
– Voice-box muscles (laryngeal and pharyngeal muscles) allowing a musical tone of voice
signaling warmth and friendliness
– Middle ear muscles allowing us to hear human speech better
– Facial muscles allowing us to signal genuine friendly intentions and smiles e.g., via
a genuine smile of pleasure
– Diaphragm muscles linked to slow and deep breathing and sighs of contentment
– Neck muscles allowing us to direct our gaze
Changing Physiology
The Big Three +1:
Activating Social Safety
Thus, we don’t have to think our way
out of anxiety; we can do our way out.
So if you want to feel less tension, let
your body do the work!
Practice These Skills
Use the Big Three + 1.
1. Lean back in your chair,
2. take a slow deep breath,
3. make a closed-mouth smile,
+1 = use an eyebrow wag.
Use big expansive gestures with
Facial movement tells our brain, “I
open hands rather than keeping your
must be safe because I am not trying
arms and hands close to your body.
to mask my inner feelings.” In front of
Move your facial muscles. When a mirror at home or elsewhere, when
threatened or tense, our facial alone, practice tensing, releasing, and
muscles naturally become frozen and stretching your facial muscles.
we lose our ability to flexibly
communicate via facial expressions.
By deliberately moving our facial
muscles, we send safety signals to
our brain.
Exaggerate your facial expressions.
Make your eyebrows go up and down;
then scrunch your eyes together;
pucker your mouth; then stretch your
lips as wide as they can go, open your
mouth and eyes as wide as they can
go, stick out your tongue as far as it
can go; then raise your eyebrows and
stretch all of these muscles as much
as you can at the same time.
Now close your eyes as hard as you
can and scrunch up all of the
muscles in your face, and tense them
all as hard as you can—then release
the tension. Tense and release as
many different facial muscles as you
can—see if you can find all of them!
Repeat whenever possible throughout
your day.
Deliberately breathe more deeply and
slowly; use long, slow exhalations.
Purposely exhale longer than normal.
Slow your rate of breathing to six
breaths per minute; on inbreath,
focus on raising the belly, not the
chest.
Deliberately tense and relax large
muscle groups. Start with your toes
and feet, then to legs and torso, then
to your arms and neck, and then to
your facial muscles. Tense each set
of muscles, hold the tension, then
slowly release the tension and notice
the difference.
Use touch, deep pressure, massage,
and hugs. Practice touching or
hugging soft objects (furry pets,
stuffed toys, pillows); lightly stroke
your face and neck; massage the
muscles of your face, scalp, and
neck. Locate the spot directly
beneath the beginning of each
eyebrow in the uppermost corner of
each eye socket; use both thumbs to
press this spot in an upward
direction, and notice what happens.
Wrap yourself tightly in blankets or
towels (swaddling). Place a small
heavy beanbag or sandbag over your
forehead and thighs—notice what
happens. Hug yourself by crossing
both arms over your upper chest until
your hands can reach your upper
back, then rock your body slowly back
and forth. Rub your tummy in a
clockwise direction.
Wrap a hot water bottle in a towel, lie
on the floor, and place a cushion
under each knee, then place the hot
water bottle over your belly—notice
what happens. Gently but firmly press
the space in between the webbing of
your thumb and pointer finger—notice
what happens. Purchase a
commercially available massaging
machine or vibrating/massaging
chair.
Take a warm bath or shower; use the
jet sprays in hot tubs to massage your
back and neck. If you have a partner or
friend to practice with, ask for a neck or
foot massage; ask for a hug and
squeeze firmly— practice hugging each
day, if possible. Lie down on the floor
and allow your friend to gently support
your head in his or her hands; then,
with your fingers, gently rub the point
directly above the bridge of your nose
adjacent to each eyebrow.
Chewing and eating food. When
anxious, our bodies are tense and
ready for action. Our brain associates
eating and chewing with resting and
digesting, not fleeing or fighting.
Chewing moves the muscles of the
face linked to social safety. It is
difficult to swallow when really upset;
chewing and swallowing food
naturally calms the body.
Look for your favorite calming foods
(for example, milk and cookies) and
incorporate these into everyday living.
Carry sugar-free chewing gum, sweets,
or snack bars with you. When stressed,
rather than restricting intake, start
chewing and moving those facial
muscles.
Hearing—music and the human
voice. When stressed, use music
that you find calming or soothing
and/or recordings of the human
voice that you find calming to
activate your social safety system.
Avoid listening to music that is
arousing, disturbing, or exciting.
Vision—gazing at pictures of loved ones,
pets, or landscapes. You can trigger your
social safety system by gazing at
pictures linked to warmth, expansion, or a
sense of peace. These might be pictures
of a friend, your child or grandchild, a
favorite pet, or your partner in a place
that brings back warm memories. Use
pictures you can carry with you and look
at when you feel threatened or tense. As
you gaze, breathe deeply and notice what
happens.
Coming out of Shut Down
“So how do we climb back out of
shutdown mode?
The opposite of the dorsal vagal system is
the social engagement system.
So, in short, what fixes shutdown mode is
bringing someone into healthy social
engagement, or proper attachment.
https://psychiatrypodcast.com/psychiatry-psychotherapy-podc
ast/polyvagal-theory-understanding-emotional-shutdown
Getting down into the nuts and bolts of
how this works in our body can help us
understand why we feel the way we do
physically when your body is in fight, flight,
or shut down mode.
When we understand why our body reacts
the way it does, like a string of clues and
some basic science about the brain, we
can understand how to switch states.
We can begin to move out of the fight or
flight state, out of the shutdown mode,
and back into the social engagement state
It can also be helpful if you have just
identified yourself in some of these
symptoms. Such as, “When I’m with my
parents, even as an adult, and they start
fighting, I feel lightheaded and
disconnected.”
If you’ve seen some of these things in
yourself, hopefully through therapy, and
even understanding how this works, you
can pull yourself out of a disconnected
state.
Studies show that some parts of the brain
shut down during the recall of traumatic
events, including the verbal centers and
the reasoning centers of the brain (Van
Der Kolk, 2006).
This is why it’s important to conduct
therapy, or coming out of shutdown mode,
in a safe, healthy way, in a safe, healthy
environment.
The human experience is so powerful that
when we re-engage the trauma, with
someone else to support us, it rewrites
that event in our brain, adding in the
feeling of being supported within the
trauma memory. We create new neural
pathways around the trauma, and we can
change our body’s response to it.
Anger is an incredibly adaptive emotion,
and it’s one we don’t allow ourselves to
have. We think anger is bad. But really,
anger shows us where our healthy
boundaries were crossed.
Anger gives us energy to overcome the
obstacle. We can help the patient see they
had the emotional energy to overcome,
but the energy wasn’t able to be
manifested at the time they wanted it.
Introduce body movement. Because
shutdown causes us to freeze,
reactivating body movements while
talking about the trauma is a great way to
reconnect the body and mind, to bring
them out of shutdown.
For example, one of my patients was in an
accident. When the EMS showed up, they
strapped her to a gurney to load her into
the back of an ambulance. More than the
actual accident, being trapped on that
gurney was traumatic for her.
It’s important to do the movement
mindfully and slowly, focusing on the
sensation of the movement. That patient
felt a huge release of energy. In the
following sessions, she was able to tell
the memory as a narrative, instead of
dissociating.
...slow punching, kicking, twisting, running
slowly in place—flips the person from
shutdown into the fight or flight mode,
with the goal being to move into
connection, or social engagement, mode.
Body movement exercises, in conjunction
with talking to a therapist, can
fundamentally change the memory.
Practicing assertiveness. Emotional
shutdown can occur within relationships
where one person feels they cannot
communicate with the other person well.
One therapist, John Gottman, describes
this practice as stonewalling. Practicing
assertiveness can help the patient feel
more in control of their emotional state,
and feel safe to move into healthy
relationship patterns.
Breath work, mindfulness, and yoga all
have a role in becoming more connected
to your here and now body. I will discuss
this subject at length in a future podcast.
Become a Judo Master and practice
strength training. Teaching yourself how
to better protect yourself in the future can
be powerful and also resets the stress
system over time. I talked about strength
training in a prior episode, and in the
future will talk about learning to fight as
an active way to not remain passive or a
victim both in mindset and capability.
Further doing something hard, on an
ongoing basis, allows for building inner
strength which can keep you in fight and
flight longer before going into shut down.
Journaling goes hand in hand with
mindfulness, as it provides a place for
people to write down what comes across
their minds. Identifying troublesome
thoughts and feelings is usually the first
step in treatment since it provides
valuable insights. With those insights,
people can find their triggers, pinpoint
avoidance behaviors, and start to unravel
difficult thoughts and feelings.
With a journal in hand, people can quickly
jot down difficult thoughts, emotions, and
other notes rather than keep them deep
down inside. This helps release stress and
provides much-needed data about the
inner workings of their minds. They can
then work with their therapist to find
patterns and discover areas to work on as
they become recovered from binge eating
disorder.
Writing fictional narratives that help them
find insights and solutions
Using a bullet journal to reveal stressors
and challenges ahead
Reflective writing in response to a given
prompt
Answering questions about their key
motivations and concerns
 Using RAIN

RAIN dissolves limiting beliefs

Recognize - Allow - Investigate -

Nurturing
 Recognize - Allow - Investigate - Nurturing

Former version of RAIN: Updated RAIN:

Recognize what is happening (roots of understanding) Recognize what is happening (roots of understanding)

Allow life to be just as it is (grounds of love) Allow life to be just as it is (grounds of love)

Investigate with kindness (deepens understanding and care) Investigate with gentle attention (deepens understanding)

Non-Identification (realizing freedom from narrow identity) Nurture (awakens love)

 Recognize - Allow - Investigate - Nurturing

Part 1 – Radical Compassion – Loving Ourselves and Our World into Healing
Drawn from Tara’s new book, Radical Compassion (2020), these three talks explore how the RAIN
practice (Recognize, Allow, Investigate, Nurture) awakens the...

Part 2 – Radical Compassion – Loving Ourselves and Our World into Healing
Drawn from Tara’s new book, Radical Compassion (2020), these three talks explore how the RAIN
practice (Recognize, Allow, Investigate, Nurture) awakens the...

Part 3 – Radical Compassion – Loving Ourselves and Our World into Healing
Drawn from Tara’s new book, Radical Compassion (2020), these three talks explore how the RAIN
practice (Recognize, Allow, Investigate, Nurture) awakens the...
Main Points for Lesson 2

1.Our neurosensory system is constantly 4.Novel cues are discrepant or unexpected

scanning the world and ourselves for the stimuli that trigger an automatic evaluative
presence of cues or stimuli relevant to our well- process designed to deter- mine whether the
being. cue is important for our well-being.

2.Our brains are hardwired to detect and react to 5.Rewarding cues are cues appraised as
five broad classes of emotionally relevant stimuli potentially gratifying or pleasurable.
or cues.
6.Threatening cues are cues appraised as
3.Safety cues are stimuli associated with feeling potentially dangerous or damaging.
protected, secure, loved, fulfilled, cared for, and
part of a community or tribe.
7.Overwhelming cues trigger our emergency 9.Broadly speaking, when one emotional system
shutdown system is on, the other four are off or inhibited.

8.We are never unemotional, because we are 10.Finally, when an emotional response
always in one of the five emotional-mood states. tendency is ineffective, we move to another
neuroregulatory response.
 Class 3:
Engaging in Novel
Behavior—Flexible-Mind VARIEs

Back to Table of Contents

 Class 3: Engaging in Novel
3 5/15 Behavior—Flexible-Mind VARIEs
Flexible-Mind VARIEs: Engaging in Novel
Behavior 5.1
Flexible-Mind SAGE sklils: Dealing with Shame,
etc.
8.A
Flexible-Mind is DEEP: Using Values to Guide
Social-Signaling 10.2

Practiced Being Kind to Fixed-Mind 11.2

METTA MEDITATION: Loving Kindness “Unconditional Friendship”

This is a long video. It begins with

info. About the Theosophical
Society (Theosophy means:
teaching about God and the world based
on mystical insight. The word theosophy,
combining roots meaning "God" and
"wisdom")

Please skip to 7:20 to 16:14 for

instructions (which are inspired by
Ajahn Brahm, from his book
Mindfulness Bliss and Beyond..

The practice begins

around 16:14

Juliana Cesano
https://youtu.be/ep8wwDg8f-Y
"Metta can accurately be
compared with a warm
and radiant fire burning in
your heart. You cannot
expect to light the fire of
loving-kindness by
starting with a difficult
object, no more than you
can expect to light a
campfire by striking a
match under a thick log."
Flexible Mind VARIEs:

V– Verify one’s willingness to experience something

new

A – Check the Accuracy of hesitancy, aversion, or

avoidance

R – Relinquish compulsive planning, rehearsal or

preparation

I – Activate one’s social safety system and the

Initiate new behavior

E – Nonjudgmentally evaluate the outcome

SAGE: Self-Enquiry-Appease-Go Opposite-Enhance

SAGE handout

For Shame and

Self-Conscious
emotions

9:42 min
Self-Conscious
Emotion Rating Scale
DEEP: Determine values, Effectively Express, Enquiry/Examine, Practice

7 min.

Flexible-Mind is DEEP: Using Values to Guide

Social-Signaling

Identify Valued Goals

DEEP Practice Worksheet

Practiced MATCH+1: Establishing Intimate

Relationships
Sufi Remembrance Practice
Sit comfortably in a quiet place with your feet on
the floor. Make sure you are thoroughly
grounded, feeling well-supported by your chair.
Close your eyes and breathe gently and deeply.
Take a few minutes to feel what is happening
with your body. Become aware of the tender
place two inches below your collarbone and in
the center. This is your energetic heart space.
Breathe in and out, keeping your awareness of
your heart. Sometimes it helps to put your hand
over your heart.
When you are ready to start, select a name of
God which symbolizes the Most High for you.
Repeat, aloud or silently, the name of God as if
you are saying the name right into that heart
space. However you choose to address God is
okay. Say the name as if you are saying it right
into that heart space. As Sufis, we use the name
“Allah”, which means “The One” in Arabic. The
vibration of the “ah” sound opens the heart and
the vibration of the “lah” sounds goes into the
heart.
Use the name that resonates deeply within your
own heart and spirit. Don’t worry about any stray
thoughts you may have. When you have a
thought, just let it go, and return to your heart
and your breath. Don’t push or try to make
anything happen. Let your heart space open
gently. You may notice that the space softens,
becomes warm, or feels fluffy.
Repeat the name of God softly. Continue to say
the name of God, and let the name carry you
beyond where you are now. Let your thoughts
and feelings go, and let your whole being
resound with the spirit of the Divine. Let your
heart fill and overflow.
99 Beautiful Names
5.5 min
Radical
Acceptance
and OCD
Radical Openness Handout 5A

Flexible Mind VARIEs *5.1-2

VARIEs is the spice of life!

“Much like the Nike slogan ‘Just Do It’,

the RO-DBT skill VARIEs provides a
roadmap to new experiences.

Many OC individuals want to be

excellent the very first time they try
something new and, sometimes without
this guarantee, won’t try anything at all.
VARIEs is the spice of life!
Unfortunately the consequence of this
is life can get smaller and monotonous,
we may be leaving ourselves out of the
tribe. Taking risks and making
mistakes is the only way to learn
something new. That’s right, risks and
mistakes are not bad! In fact, we
celebrate them. Woo Hoo! The
awkwardness and discomfort you may
experience along the way are wonderful
learning opportunities and signs that
you are really growing.
Each time we allow ourselves to let
go of compulsive planning and try
something new with an open and
flexible mind, we are strengthening
our ability to fully participate in life.
Using VARIES allows us to break
down our overly-cautious habits and
inhibitory barriers, to not take
ourselves so seriously and join the
tribe.
VARIEs is the spice of life!
Alexander Pope is well known for his
quote, “To err is human” and I agree. We
are all human, we are all fallible, we are
always learning and when we can share
these moments of spontaneity and
imperfection with others it is a strong
social signal of affiliation and trust.
The most successful people in life learn
something new every day and so can
you.
Daily risks may look like cooking a
new meal, going to a new yoga class,
asking for a promotion, or sitting
next to a new person at lunch.
Consider what would taking a risk
and doing something new look like
for you? And now do it. Happy
mistake making!!!”
https://www.radicallyopen.net/varies-is-the-spice-of-life/
Heidi Petracco, MSW, LCSW
How perfectionists can become more flexible –
Insights from new Psychological Theory RODBT
 Class 4:
Learning from Corrective Feedback--
Flexible-Mind ADOPTS

Back to Table of Contents

 Class 4: Learning from Corrective Feedback--
4 5/22 Flexible-Mind ADOPTS
Practiced Learning from Fatalistic-Mind 11.3
Practiced Going Opposite to Fatalistic-Mind 11.B
Practiced Open-Minded Assertiveness: PROVE
Skills 18.A
Flexible-Mind ADOPTS: Being Open to Feedback 22.1
PROVES: Provide, Reveal, Other, Valued Goals, Enquiry

Practiced Open-Minded
Assertiveness: PROVE Skills

Identify Valued Goals

Self-Enquiry abotu Rumination
after a Social Interaction 18.1
35 minutes
Podcast
On RO DBT
Self-Enquiry
and eating
disorders
Radical Openness Handout 22

Flexible Mind ADOPTS

Flexible Mind ADOPTS

9:35 min.
Flexible Mind ADOPTS

A Acknowledge that painful feedback is occurring

D Describe and observe emotions, bodily sensations, and thoughts
O Open to new information by cheerleading and fully listening
P Pinpoint what new behavior is being recommended by the
feedback
T Try out the new behavior
S Self-soothe and reward yourself for being open and trying
something new
A Acknowledge feedback is occurring – notice when you are

receiving painful feedback that is disconfirming or unexpected.

Remember that feedback can be verbal, non-verbal or in the form of
environmental consequences
D Describe your thoughts, emotions and bodily sensations that
suggest you are not willing to change or open up to feedback such
as having a strong desire to explain yourself, noticing yourself
shutting down or a quick increase in heart rate
O Openness to new feedback. Bodily tension is a signal that you
need to practice openness in a particular area – change your
posture to be more relaxed, slow your breathing, let go of
assumptions and listen fully to the feedback, be curious about what
can be learned
P Pinpoint specifically what the feedback is suggesting, clarify what
people are suggesting, talk with your therapist about what specific
behavior you need to change
T Try out the new behavior using the VARIES skills

S Self-soothe to reward yourself for being willing to practicing

flexibility
Embracing Uncertainty: Sheltering in Love

46 min.
 Class 5:
The Art of Validation—
Flexible-Mind Validates

Back to Table of Contents

 Class 5: The Art of Validation—Flexible-Mind
5 5/29 Validates
Flexible-Mind Validates: Signaling Social
Inclusion 19.A

Practiced the Awareness Curriculum 12.1

Practiced Identifying Push-Backs & Don't
Hurt me Responses 16.1
Flexible Mind Validates

8 min.
Radical Openness Handout

Flexible Mind VALIDATES

 Class 6:
Learning to Trust and enhancing
Intimacy –Flexible-Mind ALLOWs

Back to Table of Contents

 Class 6: Learning to Trust and enhancing
6 6/5 Intimacy –Flexible-Mind ALLOWs
Fleixble-Mind ALLOWs: Enhancing Social
Connectedness 21.1
Practiced MATCH+1: Establishing Intimate
Relationships 21.2
Flexible-Mind REVEALs: Responding with
Interpersonal Integrity 16.3
Flexible Mind ALLOWS
Radical Openness Handout

Flexible Mind ALLOWS

Flexible Mind REVEALS

short
 Class 7:
Developing Compassion and
Forgiveness—Flexible-Mind has
HEART

Back to Table of Contents

 Class 7: Developing Compassion and
7 6/12 Forgiveness—Flexible-Mind has HEART
Flexible-mind has HEART: Learning How to
Forgive 29.A

Flexible-Mind DARES: Managing Unhelpful Envy 27.A

Flexible-Mind is LIGHT: Changing Bitterness 28.A

Flexible Mind has HEART

7:51 min.
Flexible Mind DARES

4 min.
Flexible Mind is LIGHT

5 min.
Radical Openness Handout 29

Flexible Mind has HEART

 Class 8:
Increasing Openness & Social
Connectedness via Loving-Kindness

Back to Table of Contents

 Class 8: Increasing Openness & Social
8 6/19 Connectedness via Loving-Kindness
Fleixble-Mind ROCKs-ON: Enhancing
Interpersonal Kindness 17.1
Practiced Loving-Kindness Meditation:
Maximizing Social Safety 4.1

Practiced Kindness First and Foremost 17.B

Flexible Mind ROCKS ON

4 min.
Loving Kindness Meditation
Kindness First and Foremost
Myths of a Closed Mind
Myths of a Closed Mind