[ As You Lie Awake ]

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[ 1 AsYouLieAwake ]
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Her tears fell as her hand traced the scar on his back. A scar indicative of wings
that must have hurt a lot when it was ripped.
"You shouldn't have broken the rule!"
He caught her hands and gently pressed it. "Sorry but I already did. I don't mind
losing my wings if it means being with you."
"Your sweet words are the last thing I need right now. See? Now you're fallen!"
He pulled her close and buried his face on her neck while his arms reached for her
waist. "Haven't I fallen hard enough?"
AS YOU LIE AWAKEWritten by: ShinichiLaaaabsGenre: Fantasy, Romance
10.19.2017All Rights Reserved © 2017
A/N: Hello! Here's a new story of mine! Fantasy is not my cup of tea but still I'm
giving it a try. Goblin is a great inspiration for me in writing a fantasy story!
Sana ay suportahan niyo rin 'to. Haha!
kbye.

[ 2 PROLOGUE ]
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Prologue
Three months ago
Ilang beses akong napabuntong-hininga habang nagtatalo ang kalooban ko kung
bubuksan ko ba ang pintong nasa harapan ko. I can hear the clinking of glasses,
loud music and laughter of the people behind this door. Sigurado akong
nagkakasiyahan silang lahat sa loob. Pinihit ko ang siradura ngunit hindi ako
nagkarooon ng lakas ng loob na itulak iyon pabukas. Ibinaba ko ang kamay ko at
ikinuyom iyon bago huminga ulit nang malalim.
Kahit puno ng pag-aalangan ay nilakasan ko pa rin ang loob ko. I know I am not
welcome inside dahil mula ako sa college ng Business Administration— isa sa
malaking kakompetensya ng College of Engineering sa Athena Univesity.
Nagkakasiyahan sila upang ipagdiwang ang pagtatapos ng kanilang sophomore year.
I pushed the door harshly to get their attention, and I did but something caught my
attention more. No, not something but someone.
Someone was sitting on my boyfriend's lap, kissing him on the lips down to his jaw.
Nang bumaba ang ulo ng babae ay napadako ang tingin niya sa akin. I can hear
nothing but my heartbeat, o baka ay sinadya nilang patayin ang maingay na musika.
Everyone's eyes were on me ngunit wala akong pakialam doon. Mas naka-focus ako kay
Daven na unti-unting nanlaki ang mga mata nang makita ako. Gusto kong magsalita
ngunit may tila bagay na nakabara sa lalamunan ko. I thought he would push the girl
but he didn't. The surprised look in his eyes lasted only for a while before a
smirk appeared from his lips and then he closed his eyes like he's enjoying the
pleasure given to him by the girl on his lap.
Muling pumainlang ang maingay na tugtog and then everyone was ignoring my presence.
I know it's a cue. It's a cue for me to leave this place at iyon nga ang ginawa ko.
Isa sa mga kaibigan ni Daven na may dalang malaking bote ng nakabukas na inumin ang
lumapit sa akin.
"Viole-"
Before he can say more, I grabbed the bottle from his hand at walang sabi-sabing
tinungga ang laman niyon. Heck, I don't even know what it was. All I know was that
it tastes bitter and it brought a different heat from my throat down to my chest. I
felt the tears at the corner of my eyes which are probably because of Daven and the
girl or the bitter taste of this liquor. Wala na  iyong laman nang ibinalik ko iyon
sa kaibigan ni Daven na hindi ko na pinagkaabalahang alamin pa kung sino,  bago ako
tumalikod upang umalis. But to my surprise, the world started spinning. Bigla na
lamang akong natumba at tumama sa pinto. 

My fall made a loud thud. Sinubukan akong tulungan ng lalaki pero tinabig ko ang
kamay niya at pinilit na tumayo kahit na tila sumasayaw ang daan sa paningin ko. 
Kailangan ko ang epekto ng alak upang magbigay sa akin ng lakas ng loob. I took a
step forward, taking a big leap towards them but I can't. Hindi ko pala kaya. With
or without the effect of alcohol, I cannot do what I wanted to do. Gusto ko sanang
hilahin ang babae palayo kay Daven and claim what's mine but I can't. I am never
the brave one to be able to do so. Sabay na nalaglag ang mga luha sa dalawang mata
ko bago ako tumalikod sa kanila at pasuray-suray na lumayo. Ibinagsak ko ang pinto
bago tuluyang nilisan ang lugar na iyon.
My sight is blurry and my head is aching. Nagpageywang-geywang ako sa paglalakad
hanggang sa ninais ko nang maupo. We've been together for 6 months now but then
this happened— in just a blink of an eye. Dahil ba hindi ko magawa ang ginagawa ng
babae ngayon sa kanya? Is it because we haven't kissed? Or what?
Malayo-layo na rin ang nalakad ko at tahimik na tinatahak ko ang payapang eskinita.
Halos maghahating-gabi na at wala akong pakialam kung ano man ang mangyari sa akin
ngayon. I sat on the corner of the road and let my tears fall.
Hindi ko alam kung dulot ba iyon ng nainom ko o may nakabukas ang ilaw talaga sa
taas. There was that light that I cannot bear to stare at. Napakasakit niyon sa
mata at lubhang nakakasilaw. Then there was a faint cry.
The cry became louder and it was a voice of a man— like that man suffered the most
painful thing. Bigla akong naging alerto at tila nahimasmasan. I fixed myself and
when the bright light from above vanished, I slowly walked to the direction where I
heard the cry.
"Sinong nariyan?!" I shouted. Natatakot ako na baka masamang loob iyon ngunit
natatakot din ako na baka taong nangangailangan iyon ng tulong.
The cry faded at humakbang pa ako. "Sino yan?!"
Still there was no answer but I can hear a heavy breathing. Hinahabol nito ang
hininga kaya mas binilisan ko pa ang hakbang kung sakaling may taong nangangailan
talaga ng tulong.
I heard a sharp cry again at nanggagaling iyon sa likuran ng hindi kataasang
gusali. It's past midnight and whoever was there, marahil ay biktima iyon ng
masamang loob. For a second ay nag-alangan ako ngunit nanaig pa rin ang awa ko.
Tumakbo ako palapit doon ngunit bigla na lamang may napakabilis na bagay ang dumaan
sa harapan ko. It was so fast that I didn't recognize what it is. Maybe just my
imagination.
When I turned to see who was behind the wall, my chest began to pound. No one was
there...
So I was just imagining things.
Or maybe not.
Because there were blood on the ground. And on the blood, there soaked a beautiful
black feather with a golden tip.
#

[ 3 CHAPTER1SEMPER ]
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Chapter 1: Semper
"Daven asked me out tonight!"
Isinalampak ko ang ear buds sa tenga ko. Ayaw kong marinig ang mga kwento ni
Iradessa, my ex's current fling. Sa katunayan ay wala akong pinapakinggan na music.
Gusto ko lamang isipin nila na may pinapakinggan ako.
My professor for today's subject always comes late. Ibig sabihin ay kailangan ko
pang magtiis ng ilang minuto sa pakikinig sa mga kwento ni Iradessa na sinasadya
niyang iparinig sa akin. Bigla na lamang siyang napaatras at tinapon ang laman ng
dalang bottled water sa akin.
"Ops, sorry." Her voice was teasing.
Napatayo ako at pinahid ang panyo sa sarili ko. My philosophy notes were soaking
kaya naiinis na tinanggal ko ang suot na earbuds at hinarap siya.
"Ano ba ang problema mo?"
A twisted smile escaped her lips but it was only for a while. She faced our
classmates and gave them an apologetic look. "Did you see that? Nag-sorry naman ako
diba, but she's still galit." She pouted her lips and it was very irksome.
One thing I don't like about her ay ang pagiging conyo. She flashed a pitiful look
again and now my classmates are picking on me. And yep, she was the girl on my
boyfriend— I mean ex-boyfriend's lap, almost three months ago. Daven broke up with
me without valid reason at sila na ngayon ni Ira.
"Ang sama talaga ng ugali ng Violet na 'yan!"
"Oo nga! Baka galit siya kay Ira dahil kay Daven!"
I prevented myself to roll eyes when I heard their whispers. Nang muli kong
tiningnan si Iradessa ay naka-smirk siya sa akin na tila ba sinasabing nanalo siya.
I looked at her with an angry expression. Sumusobra na siya. The last time, she
poured me an ice coffee and acted like it's an accident. The other day it was
frappe. Now water? Ano ba talaga ang gusto niyang mangyari?
"Ang tanga mo na rin ano? Last time kape ang natapon mo, then frappe and now
this?!" I can't help but burst. Pagod na akong magtimpi. I don't mind rescheduling
this class kahit pa paborito ko ang prof namin dito kung ganito din naman lagi ang
eksena namin ni Iradessa. And wow for myself! I was able to say what I wanted to
say to her.
"What? Ilang sorry ba ang need mo?" She said, acting like she's the victim here.
And it boiled my blood. Sa inis ko ang hinablot ko ang bottled water mula sa kanya
at itinapon ang laman niyon sa mismong mukha niya. Ohs filled the room at matinding
gulat naman ang reaksyon ni Iradessa at ng kanyang mga kampon. Maging ako ay
nagulat sa sarili ko.
"How dare you!" She screamed and then slapped me on the face. The next thing I did
shocked me. I grabbed her hair and pulled it. I am not the troublesome student but
surprisingly today, I am! Nagsigawan naman ang mga kaklase namin lalo na at
nanlaban na rin si Iradessa. She pulled my hair on different directions— no it
wasn't just her. There were four pairs of hands that grabbed my hair.
It hurts like hell but I didn't cry. Sa halip ay pinaglipat-lipat ko ang pagsabunot
sa kanila samantalang panay pa rin ang sigawan ng iba naming kaklase. They were
cheering and some were betting.
The pulling of hair and scratching of faces continued hanggang sa makarinig kami ng
sigaw.
"STOP!"
We all stopped but Iradessa pulled my hair for the last time and gave me a
victorious smile.
"I'm so disappointed with all of you! Lahat kayo, pumunta kayo sa guidance office!
God, you're all grownups and you're acting like a child!" wika ng propesor. "Go to
the guidance office now!"
I throw them angry glares bago ko pinulot ang bag ko at naunang lumabas. Nang
dumating kaming lahat sa guidance ay masasama pa rin ang tinging ibinabato ko sa
kanila. My head hurts. It feels like every strand of my hair was plucked. Napaka-
unfair naman kasi! There were eight hands pulling my hair!
Nagpalipat-lipat ang tingin ng guidance counselor sa amin. She tapped her pen on
her table while looking at us. "What happened Miss Dizon?"
"She started it—" pinutol ng guidance counselor ang sasabihin ni Iradessa.
"I'm asking Miss Dizon. Anong nangyari Violet? You're not this kind of student,"
wika niya sa akin.
"Iradessa slapped me," sagot ko at tinuro ang pisngi ko na malamang ay mamula-mula
pa.
"Miss Ortega?"
"She splashed tubig on my face!" maarteng sagot nito.
"You did it to me first!"
"It was an accident!" sagot ni Iradessa. "Hindi ko naman iyon sinasadya ngunit
bigla na lamang nagalit si Violet. She poured tubig on my face intentionally!"
"Is it true?" baling sa akin ng guidance counselor.
"Iyon ang totoo Ma'am," sabat ng tatlong kasama ni Iradessa.
"Violet, is that what happened?"
Huminga ako nang malalim at tumango. Sumabat ulit ang tatlong minion.
"See? Kasalanan ni Violet ang lahat!"
"Pero dahil iyon sinadya ni Iradessa na tapunan ako ng tubig!" I will never let
them make another point. Sumosobra na sila, nananahimik lamang ako ngunit
pinapakialaman nila ako. I cannot bear to remain silent about it anymore.
"At paano mo naman nasabi na sinasadya nga iyon ni Miss Ortega?" tanong ng guidance
counselor. "Did you see her plan it?"
"It's..." I closed my mouth. Mahirap paniwalaan kung sasabihin kong sinadya nga
iyon ni Iradessa. But still I will try my luck. "This is not the first time she did
it. Noong una ay tinapunan niya ako ng kape-"
"It was aksidente!"
"Then a frappe and now water?" I scowled at Iradessa.
A smile crossed the counselor's face. "You mean noong natapunan ka ng kape at
frappe ay hindi ka nagalit ngunit ngayong tubig lang, nagalit ka?"
Tila nagbunyi ang reaksyon ng apat. Yes, I didn't react on the previous incident
dahil tinimpi ko laman iyon. Who knows it would be the counselor's basis if I'm
telling the truth or not? Hindi na lamang ako sumagot at nanatili na lamang
nakayuko.
"Look, wala na kayo sa elementary at high school. Nasa kolehiyo na kayo, no more
detention as disciplinary actions. At dahil nasa kolehiyo na kayo, you should be
matured. But look what you did, you fight in the class? You know that there are
community services for offenses like this or it could be suspension."
Sabay kaming napatango sa sinabi ng counselor. Yep, Athena University or AU has
heavy grounds for discipline. At first offense, a simple community service. Second
is suspension for one semester. Third will be dismissal from the university.
The community services will be a 3-week punishment. Kailangan naming maglinis sa
paaralan, a thing which everyone hates lalo na at nasa kolehiyo na kami. But why
didn't I think about it before bago ko hinablot si Iradessa? I answered my own
question. She hit me in the face and I didn't like it when someone hits me in the
face.
Nang makalabas kami ng guidance ay ngumisi si Iradessa sa akin. "Freak."
Hindi ko na lamang siya pinansin at nilampasan na lamang. I don't know what's her
problem with me. If it's about Daven, hello? She has Daven now. Ako na ang naging
masama sa paningin sa lahat.
Dumeretso ako sa faculty office. Lumapit ako sa professor namin kanina.
"Yes, Miss Dizon?"
"Gusto ko po sanang magpa-reschedule."
She raised her eyes from the papers that she's reading to me. Inayos niya ang suot
na salamin at tiningnan ako ng matiim.
"You are one of my favorite student Violet Dizon. You know that."
"Thank you Ma'am."
"And with that, I want the best for you. I'm sure that you're aware that if you
change your schedule, you'll be on Mr. Demetrio's class."
Napabuntong-hininga ako. Ang totoo niyan ay hindi ko iyon naisip bago ako lumapit
sa kanya. Sir Demetrio and I has a bad history that no one seemed to believe me—
except Daven. Neo Demetrio texted me something that a professional shouldn't do to
his students. Sinubukan kong magsumbong sa college ngunit ako pa ang lumabas na
masama. Why? Sir Neo is a very handsome man, one with an angelic face and very
popular to girls. Hard to believe he had threatened a student for some unethical
things.
When almost no one believed me, I gave up on the idea of telling everyone about him
and here comes Daven. Naniwala siya sa akin and he protected me from him and few
months later ay naging kami at mula noon ay tinigilan na rin ako ni Sir Neo.
"Ma'am—" Hindi ko alam kung tama bang sabihin ko ang totoo. I don't want to be the
talk of the school anymore.
"Alright, I know why you're hesitant. I've heard things about him at nang nalaman
ko ang tungkol sa'yo, I knew that it's the reason and I am one of those few who
believed you. That is why I am asking if you will be fine if you reschedule your
class."
I didn't confirm or deny her conclusion. Sa tingin ko ay mas matitiis ko pa ang
presensya ni Sir Demetrio kaysa sa kina Iradessa. Maybe I still cannot bear to hear
her stories about what she and Daven planned. I loved Daven and up till now I still
love him.
"I think I'll be fine." But I doubt it.
"Alright then. I will update your class schedule. Just show him your certificate of
registration kapag papasok ka na sa klase niya," wika ni Ma'am ngunit nababakas pa
rin ang pag-aalala sa mukha niya.
Nang lumabas ako ng faculty office ay dumiretso ako sa soccer field. Nakita ko roon
ang kaibigan kong si Nikki at agad akong lumapit sa kanya.
"Violet, totoo ba ang narinig ko?" she immediately asked when I sat on the bench
beside her. "Totoo bang nakipagsabunutan ka raw kina Iradessa at sa mga alalay
niya?"
May pakpak talaga ang balita. I bet the whole college or even the whole campus
already know about it.
"Yeah," sagot ko. There's no use of denying dahil paniguradong kakalat din iyon sa
campus.
Hinawakan niya ang balikat ko at hinarap ako sa kanya. "Are you fine? May masakit
ba sa'yo? Gusto mo ba ng resbak?"
Hindi ko maiwasang mapangiti. For a moment, I thought I'd say yes for her last
question but I didn't. "Masakit ang ulo ko. Pinagtulungan nila akong sabunutan."
Bigla na lang siyang napatayo at nakakuyom ang palad. "Nakakainis talaga yang mga
babaeng iyan. Halika na, gantihan natin!"
I pulled her back to the bench. "Huwag na, baka mas lumala pa. Anyway, the physical
pain cannot be compared to the pain I am feeling right now."
Napaupo si Nikki at nagtatakang tumingin sa akin. "Anong ibig mong sabihin?"
"She's dating Daven since summer."
"What?!" Muli siyang napatayo mula sa kanyang kinauupuan. "Sabi ko na nga ba! Sabi
ko na nga ba! Ikaw Violet, sa simula pa lang sinabi ko na sa'yo na ayaw ko diyan sa
Daven na 'yan! Sobrang yabang porket gwapo!"
"Nikki..."
"Oo na, oo na. Ipagtatanggol mo na naman yun." She made a face and looked away.
Since day 1, hindi na niya gusto si Daven.
"I'll be in the same Philosophy class as you," nakangiting wika ko sa kanya.
Nikki's eyes widened at napatayo.
"Really? Yes!" She started jumping and then she stopped and flashed a worried face.
"I'm in Sir Neo's class. Okay lang ba 'yon sa'yo?"
"I think I'll be fine with that," sagot ko sa kanya. Ang totoo niyan ay hindi ko pa
alam kung ano ang magiging kahihinatnan ko ngayong nasa klase na ako ni Sir Neo.
"Pero Violet!" She pinched my side and giggled. Ang pag-aalala niya kanina ay
biglang napalitan, her reaction was more like excited. "Naalala mo 'yong palagi
kong kinukwento sa'yo na kaklase ko?"
"Ah, the cold guy? Ano nga bang pangalan 'non?"
"Semper, ano ka ba? Bakit di mo maalala? Ayun siya oh!" Nikki pointed on the guy
who was playing soccer. Nasa harap ito ng goal at nasa paanan naman ang bola.
Unlike the other player, he was the only one who was wearing jeans instead of
jersey shorts. Rubber shoes din ang suot nito sa halip na soccer shoes. He was
wearing a black shirt, black jeans and black shoes. His back was facing us so I can
clearly see his broad shoulders. His jet black hair was dishevelled like he just
gone from bed. Silently, I wished that I can see his face.
Just then, he turned from his back and looked at me. His eyes met mine and from the
distance between us, I can really say that he is looking at me.
Wait, this is silly. Did he hear me silently wished that he will look at me? Bigla
na lamang akong kinabahan at nagbaba ng tingin. I felt my hands became cold, now I
am conscious if he is still looking at me or not.
"Nakita mo ba 'yon?" tanong ni Nikki. "He looked at you! I'm so jealous!"
Mahinang hinampas ko si Nikki. "Ano ka ba, hindi siya sa akin tumitingin. Teka,
bago ba siya rito?" tanong ko. I'm in my sophomore year here in AU ngunit ito yata
ang unang beses na nakita ko ang lalaking iyon.
"Ano ka ba, summer pa nang lumipat si Semper dito kaya naging magkaklase kami sa
dalawang subject ko noong summer." Bigla na lamang niyang pinitik ang ilong ko.
"'Yan kasi, daig mo pa ang kabayong may kalesa. Naka-limit ang paningin mo na para
bang may nakaharang diyan sa mga mata mo. Puro ka kasi Daven."
Tama si Nikki. My life evolved all around Daven. I never got a chance to hang out
with my friends because of Daven. Marami akong hindi nagagawa dahil kay Daven. Not
that he restricted me to. I was just so focused on him.
Sa ikalawang pagkakataon ay sinulyapan ko ang nakatayong si Semper but he was not
in the field anymore. I searched all over the field ngunit wala talaga siya roon.
Ang naiwan na lamang ay ang mga soccer player na naglalaro. Nasaan na kaya siya?
When I turned my eyes back to Nikki, I almost scream in great surprise. Semper was
on her back, standing there with his coal black, lackluster eyes. His eyes were
like black diamonds, screaming a different kind of beauty despite its dullness. But
I have a feeling that those eyes weren't as what they seem to be. I know there is
more to it. It was more like a maze, in which you will be lost if you stare much
into those gems. And before I can ever be lost, I looked away and tried to remain
my composure.
I saw him stare back into my eyes as he stared into mine. I let out some air, fixed
myself and told Nikki about his presence.
"Sa tingin ko ay may kailangan sa'yo ang kaklase mo Nikks. He's behind—" My fingers
which were about to point Semper on her back suspended in the air. Nilingon naman
ni Nikki ang likuran niya, but Semper wasn't there.
"Sino?" Tumayo si Nikki at inilibot ang paningin sa likuran niya.
Right now my sweats were cold and my hands shiver. I swear I saw Semper on her
back, and we stared at each other. Muli kong iginala ang paningin ko and found him
at the other side of the field. What is this?!
I swear he's behind Nikki! How can he cross the field in that span of time? Simple
lang ang pagkakaupo niya sa bench na katapat namin. Hindi ko maaninag mula sa
kinauupuan ko kung ano ang reaksyon ng mukha niya. Kinuha ko ang tumbler na katabi
ni Nikki at sinaid ang laman niyon. I was at loss of words to say. If I've been
hallucinating or not, that I do not know. But if I think rationally, it would seem
that I am imagining things. Imposible kasing nasa likuran ni Nikki si Semper kanina
and then in a blink of an eye, he is across the field.
"Hoy!" pukaw ni Nikki sa akin. "Sino?"
I blinked few times and look at her. I forced a smile and ask her to go somewhere.
I guess I really been under stress lately kaya kung anu-ano na ang nakikita at
pumapasok sa isip ko.
#

[ 4 CHAPTER2NIKKI ]
-------------------------------

Chapter 2: Nikki
Ito ang unang araw na pumasok ako sa bagong klase ko sa Philosophy. I chose to sit
at the back upang hindi agad ako makita ni Sir Neo but I guess it can't be helped.
I know that he's aware that a new student is on his class. Gayunpaman, pinili kong
sa likod maupo dahil sa likod din naman ang pwesto ni Nikki.
"Bakit ba rito ka sa likuran pumupwesto Nikks?" I asked her. Hindi katangkaran si
Nikki kaya hindi convenient sa kanya na maupo dito sa likuran.
She pulled me and whispered into my ear. "Nasa likuran kasi ang mga gwapo. Example
ha, Richard, Errol, Silver, yung ex mong si Daven at... Si Semper."
"What?!"
"Oo si Semper!" Excited niyang bulalas.
"No! I mean, kaklase mo si Daven?!" Bakit hindi ko alam ang tungkol doon? Sabagay,
we broke up last semester kaya hindi ko na alam ang kanyang class schedule sa
semester na ito. Why would I'll be as surprised sa this? Lumipat ako ng schedule,
and this is the schedule of engineering students kung saan ilan lamang kaming
estudyante na mula sa ibang college at department ang naliligaw sa sched na ito.
Silly me.
"Why? Hindi mo alam?" She covered her mouth in surprise. "Oh my God, oh my God!
Sorry Violet, I forgot... Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God!" Her reaction was
exaggerated so I pulled her hands from her mouth and looked around.
"Ano ka ba, ayos lang. Huwag ka ngang magpahalata!" wika ko sa kanya. Nope, it
wasn't okay. Kung alam ko lamang na magiging kaklase ko si Daven dito, I shouldn't
have rescheduled my class. Baka kasi isipin niya na sinusundan ko siya o baka
isipin ng buong school lalo na nina Iradessa na sinadya kong lumipat dahil kay
Daven.
"Paano 'yan ngayon?" tanong ni Nikki. Well I was also asking the same question to
myself. Paano na ngayon? This isn't a win-win situation even if I choose one. Kung
babalik ako sa dating klase, that would be a hassle on the part of the professor.
Sigurado rin na hindi lamang iyon ang magiging huling clash namin ni Iradessa. And
if I leave this class, it would appear that I'm a loser dahil umiiwas pa rin ako sa
kanya. And to think, he's the one who cheated on me!
Kung hindi naman ako aalis, how can I deal with Daven's presence? Paano ako aaktong
normal sa harapan niya? Hindi pa ako handa.
Just then, the door flung open at pumasok doon ang grupo ng mga lalaking maingay.
Daven's friends. My knees weakened and my hands became cold habang isa-isa silang
pumasok at nag-ingay sa loob. I immediately look at my clean notes in front, stared
at it like there were something there that I should memorize.
"Whoah..." Isang kamay ang humampas sa mesa ko, and it made me flinch. Minsan lang
may napapadpad na estudyante mula sa ibang college, on my case, I am in the philo
class of the engineering students. My ID lanyard tells them I wasn't from the
College of Engineering.
It was Silver Torres. "A babe. Hey dudes, a new babe's here—" Hindi niya natuloy
ang sasabihin dahil nagulat siya nang makita ako. He forced a smile and walked
backward.
"Where?" boses ng lalaking kasunod ni Silver.
I exhaled heavily and raised my face towards them, meeting Daven's eyes. For a
second, I thought I'll be lost in those eyes but it only took a second or two
before he look away.
"Hello Violet!" masiglang bati ni Errol. Among Daven's friends, Errol is the one
who usually talks to me. Isang pilit na ngiti ang ibinigay ko sa kanya bago siya
umupo sa upuang hindi kalayuan sa amin. Daven sat beside him and his spot gives me
a perfect view of the side of his face. Pinilit ko naman ang sarili kong huwag
siyang sulyapan but I guess it can't be helped. Daven is physically unforgettable.
He's got the striking features that leaves an image of him in your mind. Kahit
papaano ay naging mabuting boyfriend din naman siya— except what happened before we
broke up.
The door opened and Mister Demetrio entered. He walked inside the classroom while
his eyes roam around the as if he is searching for something... Or for someone.
When his eyes were on me, I saw his lips twitched, and a smile emerged. It was a
smile with a thousand meanings on it.
"I see we have a new student."
It wasn't funny but the class laughed, especially the girls. Palibhasa kasi ay may
gusto sila kay Sir Neo. Truth is that may hitsura talaga ito at ilang taon lamang
ang tanda sa amin.
"How about introducing yourself to the class Miss..." He paused and looked at the
paper that he was holding. Meh, he doesn't need to act as if he doesn't know my
name. "Violet. Violet Dizon."
I wanted to protest. This isn't elementary or high school and introduction isn't
necessary. Wala akong nagawa kundi tumayo na lamang at akmang magsasalita nang muli
itong nagsalita.
"Here. In front." I looked at his fingers pointing on the area beside him. I felt
Nikki's hand pressed mine kaya nginitian ko siya. Humakbang ako papunta sa harap at
hinarap ang mga kaklase ko. On my side, I can sense Sir Neo's x-ray looks from my
head to foot.
"Hi I'm Violet Dizon. I just transferred to this class." I looked at everyone
around and even at Daven. Only that he wasn't looking at me. His eyes were on his
phone while a sweet smile was on his lips. It would have been a wonderful sight
seeing him smile ngunit masakit iyon para sa akin. I know they're waiting for me to
add more on my introduction but I started to step back to my seat. Nakaisang
hakbang pa lamang ako nang bigla akong napatigil dahil marahas na bumukas ang
pinto.
A guy in an all-black outfit entered. His black shirt hang loose on his body, and I
took a glance on his muscled arms. He was wearing a beanie on his head but despite
the black beanie's presence, I can see his bed-made hair.
My eyes were now on his face which almost gave me a heart attack. Those coal black
lackluster eyes were familiar. It was the same eyes that I saw the other day who
was standing behind Nikki. I can clearly see his tiny mole on the tip of his nose,
just above his nostrils.
Bigla na lamang akong kinabahan. Kung naaalala ko ang lahat ng detalye ng mukha
niya, then he must really be behind Nikki that day! Imposible kasing mapansin ko
ang maliit niyang nunal habang nasa field siya. I cannot see those eyes in that
distance! Ngunit papaanong nangyaring sa isang kurap ko ay nasa kabilang bahagi ng
field na siya?
It's impossible. It can't be true. Then the side of his lips tilted up. Hindi iyon
ngiti, it was a smirk. He smirked at me and then he looked into my eyes, in a
steady gaze which suddenly made my hair on my neck stand. It was a scary smirk
coming from a gorgeous face that didn't seem simple to read through.
Biglang nanghina ang mga tuhod ko. Bakit may nakakatakot siyang presensya? His eyes
were still fix on me and I don't know what should I do. Nanlalambot na ang tuhod ko
kaya ipinasya kong maghanap ng anumang mahahawakan bilang suporta ang gagawin ko. I
think I will fall any moment from now.
Don't fall.
The voice was deep and sexy. But it is more dangerous than the previous adjectives
that I used. Hindi iyon boses ni Sir Neo... o ng kahit sino. It was a voice that I
heard for the first time. Is it Semper?
But his lips isn't moving. It was still tilted on the side, annoying me. But...
Where do I hear that voice?  He wet his lower lip with his tongue while his eyes
was not blinking, still maintaining a steady gaze at me.
Is he talking in my head? Alam kong imposible iyon ngunit... My eyes grew wider as
I felt my knees wobble upon such thought. The next thing I knew is that my sight
became blurry and my knees weren't able to support the body.
***
"Patawarin mo ako Violet... Gumising ka na! Gumising ka lang, ililibre kita ng
maraming fries!"
Ang boses na iyon ni Nikki ang narinig ko. Nang iminulat ko ang mga mata ko ay nasa
school clinic ako. I slowly get up and felt my body but nothing hurts.
"Gising ka na?" gulat na wika ni Nikki. "Hinintay mo ba talaga sabihin kong
ililibre kita ng fries? Hoy joke lang iyon!"
Hindi ko pinansin ang sinabi niya at muling pinakiramdaman ang sarili. No wound, no
cast in my head, not even a single bandaid. I am really fine, but what am I doing
here?
"Nikks?"
"Joke lang yung fries, wag mong seryosohin!" she said with a wide grin.
"Bakit ako nandito?" tanong ko na ikinalaki ng mga mata niya. Her mouth dropped
open as she blinked fast.
"Hindi mo alam?" paninigurado niya.
"It's unclear." Masyadong nalilito ang isipan ko kaya ayaw kong mag-isip kung paano
ako humantong dito.
Her lips frowned. "Hinimatay ka. Sa kamay ni Sir Neo!"
"What?" Bakit naman ako hihimatayin? Nag-agahan naman ako, and I wasn't the weak
type. And of all people, bakit kay Sir Neo pa?
"OA mo girl! Disgusted na disgusted 'yang reaksyon ng mukha mo eh yung ibang babae
nga halos magkunwari na rin na hihimatayin, mahawakan niya lang!" sagot ni Nikki.
"Sabagay, hindi ka naman ibang babae. Ikaw si Violet. At si Daven lang ang gwapo
para sa'yo kaya crash out na yan si Sir Neo."
I do not understand. Why did I pass out? Tinanong ko iyon kay Nikki at bahagya
akong nagulat sa sagot niya.
"Ewan ko sa'yo. Matapos mong makipag-eye to eye kay Semper, hinimatay ka na!"
Semper? That guy? Yes, I remember it now. His eyes, his smirk and his voice. In my
head. Sigurado akong nagmumula nga sa ulo ko ang salitang naririnig ko. It wasn't
directly from his mouth.
"Sinong nagdala sa akin dito?"
"That is a very interesting question," she replied like she's answering a beauty
pageant's Q and A. "Guess who?"
"Nikks—"
I silently wished that it was Daven who brought me here. I want to think that he
still cares for me kaya dinala niya ako dito.
"May tama ka!" she replied with joy. "Si Daven nga!" Pumalakpak pa siya samantalang
natigilan naman ako. Daven brought me here? But why? I thought he doesn't care for
me anymore?
"Anong tama ako? I wasn't thinking of Daven!" I denied and looked away. Mind reader
ba 'tong babaeng ito?
"Jusko Violet, alam na alam ko yang pagba-blush mong yan ha kaya wag kang mag-deny.
Iniisip mong si Daven ang nagdala sayo dito, well tama ka naman," wika niya.
Nakaturo pa sa namumula kong pisngi ang daliri ni Nikki.
"Tell me in details."
"Ganito kasi," kwento ni Nikki. "Hinimatay ka," she acted out the part that I pass
out and landed on the bed. "Sinalo ka ng matitipunong braso ni Sir Neo." Uh, I hate
the dreamy look in Nikki's eyes. "Pagkatapos ay sinabi ni Semper, Dadalhin ko siya
sa clinic." Nikki even imitated a deep voice. "At! Alam mo ba ang sagot ni Sir
Neo?"
I rolled my eyes on her storytelling style. Pwede bang ituloy-tuloy na lamang niya
ang pagkukuwento? "What?"
"No! I can manage." Again, Nikki's eyes became dreamy. "Oh Violet! If only how many
girls are jealous at you kanina!"
Inayos ko ang unan sa likuran ko. "It's nothing to be jealous of."
"Girl, wala pa tayo sa exciting part. Nag-insist pa rin si Papa Semper!" My eyes
grew wider habang naghihintay sa karugtong ng kwento ni Nikki. "Ngunit nagmatigas
si Sir! At nagsukatan sila ni Sir Neo ng tingin until...."
"Until what?"
She made a face and pouted her lips. "Until Daven stood and get you from Sir Neo's
arm, carried you here and..."
Isa na lang itong si Nikki. Baka masapak ko na ito sa susunod. "And?" I wriggled my
brows to show her how curious I am.
"And left. Umalis siya pagkatapos kang ilapag dito. Tapos."
My shoulders fell. Akala ko naman kung ano na. That's natural. Hindi naman
obligasyon ni Daven na bantayan ako. Maybe I should thank him for his kindness.
Tumayo ako mula sa kama ngunit pinigilan ako ni Nikki sa pamamagitan ng paghila sa
akin pabalik sa kama.
"Teka, teka... Saan ka pupunta?"
I stretch my arm to show her that I'm fine. "Magpapasalamat lang ako kay Daven."
"Wag na. Nagpasalamat na ako ng sobrang dami." She gently pushed me back to the
bed. "Diyan ka lang. Mahiga ka lang diyan."
Napakunot ang noo ko dahil sa pagtataka. I tried getting up again but still she
pushed me back to bed. "Diyan ka lang kasi. Wag ka munang lumabas."
Now I'm more curious. Kapag pinigilan ka sa nais mong gawin ay mas lalo mo lamang
nanaisin na gawin ang nais mo. I jumped out of bed and grabbed my shoes and back
pack.
"Violet!" she shouted as I head towards the exit of the curtain.
The moment I step outside, I silently wished I should have listened to Nikki. Dahil
paglabas ko ay si Iradessa at Daven ang natanawan ko. Iradessa was on the bed while
Daven was feeding her. Hindi man lamang nila isinarado ang kurtina na para bang
sinadya nilang huwag iyong isarado upang makita ko sila.
I dropped my shoes and it made a sound kaya napalingon sila sa akin. Daven look at
me with a blank expression while Iradessa let out a naughty smile like she's saying
she scored. Nikki pulled my back inside and pushed me to bed.
"Sabi ko naman sa'yo diba?"
I tried to compose myself. As I expected, hindi ko pa kayang makita si Daven na may
kasamang iba. It still hurts.
"Yung babaeta talagang yan! Alam mo bang nang kumalat sa campus na dinala ka ni
Daven dito, nagpa-collapse-collapse din 'yang babaeng 'yan?" Nikki said in a low
voice. "Sana nga natuluyan at nabagok ang ulo!"
"Nikks!" Kahit na nakakainis si Iradessa, hindi naman mabuting isumpa siya. I do
not believe in putting things the way I wanted it.
"Ano? Totoo naman eh. Nakakainis 'yang babaeng iyan! Sarap tusukin ng walis
tingting ang mata!" nanggigigil na wika ni Nikii.
"Hindi mabuti 'yang ganyan."
Pinaikot niya ang kanyang eyeballs at sinamaan ako ng tingin. "Amen! Ikaw na
mabait! Bakit kasi hindi ka na lang ginawang anghel eh!"
"Sana nga no..." If I were an angel, I wouldn't be feeling pains right now. It
would have been great to be an angel. You couldn't ask for more.
"Joke lang! Naniwala ka naman sa anghel! Hindi naman 'yan sila totoo!" wika ni
Nikkii.
"Angels are real," protesta ko.
"Amen ulit!" she said and sat beside me. "At kung totoo man sila, I want to meet
one. Pero saka lamang 'yon kapag patay na ako."
"Who knows there are angels around here," I said. Nakikita ko pa sa isipan ko kung
paano sinubuan ni Daven si Iradessa. Noong kami pa ay hindi ko maalala na nasubuan
ako ni Daven. Well, I wasn't sick so maybe that's the reason. Hindi rin naman ako
sobrang sweet na nagpapasubo, may sariling kamay naman ako at hindi baldado. But...
I must admit it is one of the sweetest thing a guy could ever do to his girl.
"Kung may anghel nga sa paligid, I think I will stick to humans," wika ni Nikki.
"Angels are good and I like bad, therefore I cannot like angels."
"I like good. I think I will like angels," wika ko naman sa kanya at niyakap ang
unan.
"But not all angels are good.Oh I like vampires than angels! I wouldn't mind being
bitten kung mala-Damon ng Vampire Diaries or Edward Cullen ng Twilight ang kakagat
sa akin," Nikki said.
"I prefer the werewolf Jacob." I tried to grab the pillow from her ngunit naiiwas
niya iyon.
"The bottom line is; angels, vampires and werewolves do not exist, okay? Huwag kang
magpapaniwala sa mga ganyan."
"They exist!" Protesta ko.
"Oo na! Oo na! Pahinga ka na lang muna diyan," she returned the pillow and pushed
me to lie down. "Matulog ka na muna. For now I'll be your angel hangga't nasa labas
pa yung bampira at werewolf."
Nikki winked at me at napahiga naman ako. Ngumiti ako sa kanya at nagpahinga na
lamang doon.
#

[ 5 CHAPTER3ALIEN ]
-------------------------------

Chapter 3: Alien?
Weekends are my favorite. I always have a date with myself during weekends.
Dinadala ko ang sarili ko sa bookstore, bibili ng libro at buong maghapong
mananatili sa coffeeshop, sipping my favorite coffee and reading my new book.
Grabbing a copy of a classical book that I have long rooting for, I went straight
to the nearest coffeeshop. Nang makapag-order ako ay sinimulan ko nang basahin ang
libro. I was flipping over the pages when I had this weird feeling that someone is
watching me. I rubbed my hands in my arms to remove the weird feeling. Pinagpatuloy
ko ang pagbabasa ngunit nararamdaman ko pa rin ang kakaibang pakiramdam na iyon. I
drank from my cup at iginala ang paningin sa paligid.
And to my surprise, I caught the reason of this weird feeling. Nang pumasok ako
kanina dito ay iilan lamang kami doon. There were couple on the side, group of
teenagers taking selfies with their coffee and an old woman munching on her cake
slice. But now there was one additional customer inside who was sitting near the
glass wall, right behind me.
Semper.
Bigla akong nanlamig nang maalala ang boses na narinig ko sa isipan ko nang huli ko
siyang makita. Bumigat ang dibdib ko, and I doubt if it is the coffee or Semper,
but the latter was more probable. Itinaas ko ang librong hawak ko upang matakpan
ang mukha ko, at gamit ang isang kamay ay niligpit ko ang mga gamit ko. I
stealthily move, picking up my shoulder bag to leave the coffeeshop but just as I
was only few steps near the door, a hand grabbed me by the arm.
Napatuwid ako ng tayo at dahan-dahang inangat ang paningin ko mula sa kamay na
nakahawak sa akin hanggang sa mukha ng may-ari ng kamay na iyon. My gaze slowly ran
from his arm, to his slender neck that was shown and his face topped with the messy
hair that looks like a damn fashion trend that perfectly suits him.
I pulled myself together, trying to hide the fear that crept inside me. "Y-yes?"
"Please stay."
Bigla na lamang napataas ang isang kilay ko. I would have been shaking right now
because that voice was exactly the same voice that I heard in my head but his words
left me dumbfounded. Or maybe it's just my imagination that the voice was the same.
Pero ang salitang binitawan niya ang dahilan kung bakit ako natigilan.
Please stay.
Seryoso? Iyon ba talaga ang sinabi niya?
"Excuse me?" Naguguluhang tanong ko. He has no intention of letting go of my hand
at hinayaan ko lamang din iyon. His palm was warm as it was holding my arm.
"Ang ibig kong sabihin ay huwag ka munang umalis. Maybe we can have a cup of
coffee."
Okay, the voice has become scary now.
"I.. I j-just had coffee." Ni hindi ko nga naubos ang kape ko dahil sa takot ko sa
kanya!
"Please continue reading your book."
"T-tapos na ako..." Who am I kidding? My bookmark was placed not even on the 1/4 of
the total pages. Semper looks at it like he was saying he caught me lying and I
force a smile. "I'm j-just re-reading this.."
His gaze fell on the paper bag that contains the other books that I bought on the
same bookstore as printed on the paper bag. Again he caught me lying. I sighed in
surrender.
"Alright, I'll continue reading my book," pagsuko ko at naunang humakbang pabalik
sa upuan ko kanina. He walked behind me and I can feel his tall height covering me.
My high heels is my best friend today and if I haven't been wearing one, magmumukha
akong unano sa tabi ni Semper.
Semper sat across me while I read my book. Ang totoo niyan ay hindi ako makapag-
focus dahil nakatingin siya sa mukha ko. I tried raising the book so that it will
cover my whole face but I stopped when I realize how stupid I look.
Huminga ako ng malalim at isinara ang libro. "M-may kailangan ka ba sa akin?"
He pouted his lips and shook his head. Cute.
Wait, what? No that wasn't cute. It was creepy. When guy who wears all black and
can talk to you through your head, it isn't cute. It's creepy. CREEPY.
"Do I know you?" tanong ko sa kanya. I know his name. Sana naman ay maintindihan
niya na ang translation ng tanong ko ay: Magpakilala ka naman.
"Maybe."
"And you knew me?" I asked.
"Yes."
"Are you following me?"
"No."
That's it. Hindi ko siya maintindihan. He asked me to stay yet this is what he is
doing. Staring at me like a specimen in a microscope and who knows he's thinking
something. "Hindi ito Pinoy Henyo okay kaya wag mo akong sagutin ng Yes, No at
maybe mo."
For a second, I thought that he would laugh or find me funny but he didn't. Sa
halip ay mas naging seryoso pa ang mukha nito.
"Are you aware that you're scaring me?" hindi mapigilang tanong ko sa kanya. Hindi
ba niya alam ang joke? Sana man lang ay nagkunwari siyang natatawa man lang.
"I figured that one out. Your eyes tell me that you're scared, your fingers quiver
and your lips are trembling." His voice was monotonous and his eyes seconded his
tone.
"T-that's really scary." wika ko. I was thinking how should ask him to formally
introduce himself. Wala kasi akong maalala na nagkakilala kaming dalawa.
"Semper."
"What?" I asked.
"My name is Semper. You want to know my name, right? It's Semper."
"And-" No. First is that I thought he can only speak in my mind. Now he can read
it. What is he? Alien? X-men? Nakakatakot siya!
"Huwag kang matakot sa akin," wika niya. Irony, his words only made me more afraid.
"Binabasa mo ba ang nasa isip ko?" I asked and he shook his head.
"I'm not reading your mind. I'm reading your face. It tells it all," sagot niya sa
akin at hindi man lamang inilalayo ang mga mata sa mukha ko. Baka sa ibang
pagkakataon ay nag-blush na ako.
"Semper?"
"Yes?" His eyes were not leaving every corner of my face.
"No, hindi kita tinatawag. I'm asking for your last name," wika ko sa kanya.
"Galvez. Semper Galvez."
I waited for him to ask me the same question ngunit nanatili lamang siyang nakaupo
doon, his eyes were still fixed on my face, making me conscious. Pasimpleng chineck
ko ang mukha ko mula sa cellphone ko baka sakaling may muta ako kaya ganoon na
lamang ang tingin niya ngunit sa awa ng diyos ng kahihiyan ay wala naman.
"Aren't you going to ask me a question?" suhestiyon ko.
He shook his head. "Please continue reading."
"Unbelievable!" I exclaimed. "Kung gayon ay kilala mo ako? Teka lang ha, sinusundan
mo talaga ako ano?"
"I know you. You just transferred to our class. Violet Dizon." Hindi ko alam kung
bakit pero nagustuhan ko ang pagbigkas niya sa pangalan ko na para bang isa
talagang babasaging bagay ang pangalan ko na kailangang ingatan.
"Mahirap man itong paniwalaan pero kailangan mong maniwala okay?" He didn't respond
but he continue looking at my face. "I think I heard your voice inside my head."
Akala ko ay bubunghalit siya ng tawa o di kaya ay iisipin niyang nababaliw ako but
his face didn't show any changes in his reaction. No, it was the only reaction that
he has (I guess)- His serious face.
"Really?" wika niya, and let out a barely-there smile. Mahirap isipin kong seryoso
ba siya o pinaglalaruan niya lamang ako.
Baka naman pinaglololoko niya lang ako. Ano bang problema ng lalaking ito? Now he
is really under my skin and creeping me out with that smile.
"Huwag mo akong ngitian ng ganyan! Alien ka siguro ano?!" Napalakas yata ang boses
ko dahil napatingin sa direksyon namin ang ilang mga naroon. I maybe out of my
mind. Nang wala pa rin akong nakuhang reaksyon mula sa kanya ay napatayo ako at
kinuha ang bag at mga libro ko.
"Huwag mo akong susundan!" My voice was louder this time. I don't mind as long as
Semper wouldn't follow me because I might die in fear. Dire-diretso lang ako
hanggang sa sakayan ng taxi at agad na nagpahatid pauwi.
When I reached home, I took a heavy shower to calm my mind. Hanggang ngayon ay
hindi pa rin ako makahanap ng logical na rason kung paano iyon nagagawa ni Semper.
I also cannot think of any rational and logical explanation about what he is.
I dry myself with a towel and covered my body with a robe. Naupo ako sa kama at
napatingin sa larawang nasa bedside. It was a photo of me and Daven, smiling
happily when we were hailed as the Mr and Miss Acquaintance during my freshmen
year. Maganda ang ngiti naming dalawa at nakapulupot pa ang braso niya sa beywang
ko. I guess I won't be seeing his smile anymore. Kung ngingiti man siya ng ganoon
kaganda, I will not be the reason behind it.
Nakapagbihis na ako nang marinig ko ang katok mula sa pinto. It was my younger
brother Laven Der.
"Ate, may naghahanap sa'yo sa baba."
Hindi ko na naitanong kung sino iyon dahil narinig ko na ang mga papalayong mga
yabag ni Laven. Tumayo na lamang ako sa kama at bumaba sa sala kung nasaan si Mommy
at ang sinasabi ni Laven na bisita. My feet stopped when I saw who it was.
Semper Galvez.
He really followed me.
And creep me out as always.
"Violet, nandito ka na pala," Mom said which caused Semper to look at me with his
dark eyes. I cannot see anything in it except that it is dark. "Nandito pala ang
kaibigan mo."
"He's not my friend Mom."
"Violet!"
"What are you doing here?" tanong ko sa kanya. I looked at his lips so that I
wouldn't be lost in his dark stare but it was a bad decision since I was lost in
those red thing down his nose. His lips twisted a little like he knows what I was
thinking kaya nag-iwas na lamang ako ng tingin at ibinaling ang atensyon sa kung
saan maliban na lamang sa kung saang bahagi ng katawan niya.
"I'm here to ask you out," sagot niya. His voice, still monotonous, makes me doubt
if he is serious or not.
"At six in the afternoon?!" I asked checking few times if my wristwatch is
functioning well. Sumulyap pa ako sa digital clock na nakapwesto sa sala.
"Mas mabuti nga 'yon Violet kasi sabi niya, he can have a long chat with you and
he'll be able to return you home by nine. Uh, what a sweet boy!" sabat ni Mommy.
"Mom, he's not sweet, okay?" He's creepy. And I doubt if he's a boy. I mean a human
boy.
"Hindi pwede. Hindi ako papayagan ni Dadd-"
"Tinawagan ko na ang papa mo and he said yes," Mom said and smiled at Semper.
"Mom!" Mukhang nakuha ni Semper ang loob niya. "I don't feel like going out." Hey,
it's my way of saying no. Maybe Semper got Mom under his spell. May spell ba ang
mga alien?
"Then we'll stay here", wika ni Semper.
Whaaaat?!
"Okay lang sa akin, nasa kusina lang ako," wika ni Mom. I eyed her a look like I'm
saying to send Semper out ngunit hindi niya ito naintindihan. I don't like seeing
Semper here. Baka ano pang kababalaghan ang gagawin niha dito. I sighed in
frustration.
"Mom, doon ka na sa kusina I think I heard Lav calling you," hinila ko si Mommy at
dahan-dahang tinulak patungo sa direksyon ng kusina . "Kakausapin ko muna si
Semper."
"Hindi ka ba magbibihis anak?" Mom asked, habang iginala ang paningin sa kabuoan
ko.
"You look pretty in those clothes," Semper said which made my jaw drop samantalang
kinilig naman si Mommy. Yes, she's a hopeless romantic.
Anong naka-pretty sa suot kong pajama at lumang PE Tshirt? Niloloko ba ako ni
Semper? Muli kong tinulak si Mommy at nang tuluyan na itong umalis si Mommy matapos
ang nakakalokong ngisi ay hinarap ko si Semper.
"Ano ba talaga ang kailangan mo sa akin?" diretsahang tanong ko sa kanya.
"I want to ask you out."
"Hindi ako interesado sa pakikipagrelasyon," sagot ko. Mas mabuti nang prangkahin
ko siya. I'm not over with Daven yet kaya hindi ako mag-e-entertain ng manliligaw
as of now.
"I didn't say I want it either."
Hindi ko mapigilang taasan siya ng kilay. Ayaw niya rin na makipagrelasyon? Then
why is he asking me out? Wait, ito ba ang set-up na madalas kong nababasa ngayon sa
social media confessions? How do they call it? Ah, f*ck buddy. Is that why he's
following me because he wants me to be - no way! Bakit niya ba talaga ako
sinusundan? Kinalma ko ang sarili ko.
"Then why are you asking me out?"
"Gusto kong makipag-usap."
Ang labo niya. O baka naman sinasabi niya lamang iyan dahil tinanggihan ko na siya
kanina pa lamang?
"We're already talking," I answered.
"Privately."
Privately? No way! Baka kung ano pa ang gawin niya sa akin! He can speak in my head
kaya hindi ko alam kung saang kulto siya galing! Hinding-hindi ako makikipag-usap
sa kanya!
"No. I heard your voice in my head kaya hindi ako makikipag-usap sayo. Hindi ko
alam kung anong klaseng tao ka- if you're even a human!"
"If you tell others about that, they might think you're crazy. Paano naman ako
nakakapagsalita sa isipan mo? Are you on drugs?" Wala man lamang halong pagbibiro
ang kanyang tono. Pero may point nga naman siya. Did I really hear my voice inside
my head?
"Am not!" Ngayon ay pinagdududahan ko na ang sarili ko. But I swear it's the same
voice that I heard! Ah! Ewan! Lumapit ako sa pinto at binuksan iyon. "Sige na,
umalis ka na."
Inilipat-lipat niya ang paningin sa akin at sa nakabukas na pinto. Sa huli ay
tumayo na lamang siya at dumeretso sa pinto. He stood and faced me.
"We'll talk one day," he said in a tone like he is very sure. I felt my hands
gripped the doorknob hard, my knees were becoming weak at tila nawala ako sa
sarili. Saka lamang ako muling natauhan nang tuluyan siyang makalabas ng pinto at
tinatahak na ang daan patungo sa gate.
#

[ 6 CHAPTER4TORN ]
-------------------------------

Chapter 4: Torn
"Hoy! Ayos ka lang ba?"
Mula sa pagtitig sa kawalan ay nalipat ang paningin ko kay Nikki. I was out of
focus because of Semper, who will be attending the same class with me. After he
followed me at the coffee shop yesterday and he appeared at my house ay ginulo na
niya ang sistema ko. 
"Nikks."
"Hmm?"
"Kilala mo si Semper, ‘di ba? Anong kurso niya? Saan siya nakatira? Ano—" She cut
me off.
"Wait, girl." Ibinaba ni Nikki ang hawak na pamaypay at hinarap ako. "Bakit
interesado ka sa kanya? Well, sabagay, he's not a bad choice."
"Nikks, sagutin mo na lang ang tanong ko sa ‘yo." Like hello? Never akong
magkakagusto sa kanya. Never! N-E-V-E-R. NEVER!
"Ang alam ko, Engineering student siya. Enrolled siya rito last summer pa. Ano ka
ba, hindi mo ba siya kilala?! Kung saan siya nakatira, I didn't stalk that much.
Hindi mo ba siya napansin dati?" Nikki said. I am a Business Ad student samantalang
Engineering student naman si Nikki. 
I shrugged my shoulders as reply. Nope. I just heard his name from Nikki but if I
noticed him before, no. In fact no other guys exist in my eyes before other than
Daven. 
"He's weird." And creepy. Hindi ko na lamang iyon idinagdag. I knew Nikki really
find him attractive. Well... physically he is attractive pero nakakatakot siya. 
Mahinang pagsiko ni Nikki ang muling pumukaw sa akin. I eyed her a glare and she
pointed her lips toward Daven's direction. Otomatikong napatingin naman ako kay
Daven, who was also looking at me. Nang mapansin niyang nakatingin ako sa kanya ay
nag-iwas siya ng tingin at nagkunwaring may ginagawa. 
"Haba ng hair," tukso ni Nikki. I glared at her and I maintain that glare when I
felt someone tapped my back. Muntik na akong mapatalon nang makita si Semper doon.
Like his usual outfit, he wore a black shirt and black jeans but gone was the
beanie. His hair was also trimmed, still messy but shorter than its previous
length. 
"Think of a schedule so that we can talk," mahinang wika niya. Nanlaki ang mga mata
ko. How dare he talk to me in class?!
Hindi na ako nagkaroon ng pagkakataong sumagot dahil pumasok na si Sir Neo. His
presence was a bright light inside the room, especially to girls. He seems so
professional on the class that is why I trusted him before. 
During the whole class, I was feeling this weirdness. On my back is Semper's strong
presence which I really hate it. I can feel his gaze all over my neck which was
covered with my hair. On my side was Daven, and the thought along with little hope
that he might be talking to me one of these days. I caught him staring, yes. In the
front is Sir Neo, who was equally as striking as the previous guys but was good in
giving me disgust.  I was disgusted for his unethical behavior, to which until now,
hindi pa rin siya humihingi ng tawad. I can see him looking at me most of the time,
smiles and goes on with his lecture. 
Nang matapos ang klase ay agad akong lumabas ng classroom. Dumaan ako sa gitna ng
mga nagkumpulang estudyante nang maramdaman ko ang kamay na humawak sa braso ko. 
Daven. 
I looked at his eyes, then to his hand which was holding my arm then back to his
face. "I need to talk to you." 
Oh God knows how I missed his voice. Daven isn't the bad guy type at school. Yes he
is popular but that is because he is handsome and clever. Sa anim na buwan na
naging kami ay siya ang pinakamaalalahaning tao na nakilala ko. He's not the showy
type. You will feel his love through his actions. And I guess he really loved me.
LOVED. 
I don't know how to respond. I like the warmth of his palm in my hand. I like his
gentle voice, his eyes that are deep-set and pretty. I like everything about him. 
"About?" Matagal kong hinintay na kausapin niya ako. Naghiwalay kami dati nang
hindi nagkakausap. He sent me a text message that we should breakup and it was the
most hurtful thing that a girl would experience in breakup next to ignoring without
a word. To think that he's the one who cheated!
"Something important."
About us. Things about the two of us are something important. For me. But I hope
that goes for him, too. Papayag na sana ako nang may maramdaman akong humawak sa
kabilang braso ko. 
Semper. 
What the hell is this? Nakahawak pa rin si Daven sa braso ko samantalang sa kabila
naman si Semper. For the record, this isn't a romance drama about a girl who was
torn between two hot guys. 
This is more like a melodrama of a princess, pulled by her stepmother away from his
prince. And Semper is the stepmother. 
"Aalis na tayo," wika ni Semper. Now that I notice it, his eyes was a mixture of
black and auburn. I must say I prefer this hair length than the previous one. I
would also recommend he should maintain such messy hairstyle dahil paniguradong
hindi babagay sa kanya ang pormal na hairstyle ni Daven.  
"H-ha? Where are we going?" I asked. I felt Semper's hand held me tighter so as
Daven's. Nagpalipat-lipat sa kanilang dalawa ang paningin ko. No, there wasn't any
imaginary competition in those eyes because Daven's eyes scream that he is
determined to talk to me but Semper's? None. You cannot see anything in his eyes. 
"Somewhere."
Daven pulled me closer to him. "We need to talk first." 
Ilang sandali ay inisip ko na hihilahin din ako ni Semper ngunit binitawan niya
ako. "Hihintayin kita," he said and walk away, leaving us behind. He walked with
confidence, held his backpack with one hand over his shoulders while the other is
on his pocket. 
"Hindi ko alam na magkakilala pala kayo ni Galvez," wika ni Daven. Binitawan na
niya ang braso ko na pinanghinayangan ko. He should have held me until we finish
talking. Or he should held me forever. I could live with that. 
"Not really," sagot ko. I don't want to waste our time talking about Semper kaya
tinanong ko na siya ng diretso. "Ano nga pala ang importanteng nais mong pag-usapan
natin?"
Daven let out a worried look. "It's about—"
"Daaaaaaveeeeeen!"
Sabay kaming napalingon ni Daven sa direksyon ng malanding pagsigaw ni Iradessa.
She ran toward us at kumapit sa braso ni Daven nang makalapit siya sa amin. 
"Why are you talking to him?" Iradessa asked. "My God, Violet! Nagmamakaawa ka na
naman ba na balikan ka ni Daven?!" Sinadya niyang lakasan ang kanyang boses upang
marinig ng iba ang sinabi niya. Yes, I begged Daven not to leave me but that was
before. I begged him through text message. How did Iradessa know? I look at Daven
at wala man lamang itong sinabi. 
He told Iradessa about me begging him? I felt the tears in the corner of my eye. My
mouth wasn't able to move, it was just slightly open. Wala man lamang akong maisip
na sabihin o gawin upang hindi magmukhang kaawa-awa sa harap nilang dalawa.
I looked around and found Semper in the corner. Nakasandal siya sa isang haligi at
nakatingin sa direksyon ko. From that distance, I saw his lips moved and formed
something like 'Let's go.'
Let's go? Saan naman kami pupunta? Gusto ko sanang ignorahin ang sinasabi ni Semper
ngunit napadako ang tingin ko sa kamay nina Iradessa at Daven. His hand which was
holding me a while ago was now intertwined with Iradessa's. Nang itinaas ko ang
paningin ay nakita ko ang ngiti niya and I saw the imaginary scoreboard, giving her
another point.  
I want to save my pride and walk away from them. But I don't think that would save
my pride. Until I felt a hand held my waist and I was pulled into someone's side.
Nanlaki ang mga mata ko sa gulat and was even surprised to see that it was Semper.
Oh. 
Hindi ba't nasa... Tiningnan ko ang distansya sa pagitan ko at ng kinatatayuan niya
kanina. Either he is fast o sadyang minuto na talaga ang lumipas na nakatayo lamang
ako sa harap ni Daven at Iradessa at nagmumukhang kawawa.
"Semper?" Iradessa smiled at him ngunit napalis ang ngiti niya nang makita ang
kamay ni Semper sa baywang ko. I should remove his hands or separate my body but
even before I can move, I felt his hand held me tighter. 
Hinayaan ko ang kamay niya sa baywang ko. Hinayaan ko rin siyang hilahin ako palayo
kina Daven, still holding my waist as we passed by the bunch of students. Hanggang
sa makarating kami sa parking lot ng campus. 
"That was unnecessary!" I shouted at him. Sinamaan ko siya ng tingin ngunit
tinalikuran niya lamang ako. When he turns back, he tossed a helmet to me na sa awa
ng Diyos ay nasalo ko bago pa ito tumama sa mukha ko. 
"What? Me holding your waist?" he asked. 
"No, that saving me from... them."
"So you think holding your waist was necessary?" He asked, giving me a mocking
smile. It was a smile that says I know you like it. No. I didn't. Well... A little
but... No. I really don't like it. End of discussion. Bahagi ng pagligtas niya sa
akin ang paghawak niya sa baywang ko so that's it! Hindi ba?
"You wish! Anong gagawin ko rito sa helmet?" Normally, I would think na kailangan
ko iyong suotin, alangan namang kainin ko iyon. But why would I wear it?
"We're going somewhere." Sumampa siya sa itim na motor at pinaandar iyon. He waited
for me to wear his helmet and climb at his back but I didn't. 
"Bakit naman ako sasama sa ‘yo?" I figure out that Semper isn't normal, therefore
he is not safe to be with. Kung ano man siya, kailangan kong protektahan ang sarili
ko laban sa kanya. 
His eyes just stared at me and I found myself wearing the helmet and walking to his
back. No. It was definitely not his supernatural power, if there is. It's more of
myself. Tahimik na sumampa ako sa likuran niya at agad naman niyang pinaandar ang
kanyang motor.
"Where are we going?" I asked, mahina pa lamang ang andar ng motorsiklo niya habang
lumalabas kami sa parking lot ng eskwelahan.
"I told you yesterday that I want to talk to you," sagot niya. 
"What if ayaw ko?" Yeah Violet, you're already riding on his back.
"I will use my card."
"What card?"
"Ang pagligtas ko sa 'yo kanina," sagot niya. Mabagal lamang ang takbo ng
motorsiklo niya. I doubt if this is his usual speed. Sa tingin ko ay dahil may
angkas siya kaya mabagal lamang ang pagpapatakbo niya. 
I mentally rolled my eyes at nanahimik na lamang. Saka lamang ako nagsalita nang
ipinasok niya sa basement ng mall ang kanyang motor. We were on the basement three,
madilim at mainit doon. 
"Hindi ko alam na nagmo-mall ka pala," biro ko sa kanya habang tinatanggal ang suot
na helmet. Iniabot ko iyon sa kanya at kinuha naman niya iyon. 
"Hindi ko rin alam. I just figure out that you'll feel comfortable if we talk
here," sagot niya. "Wait here, I'll just park this thing." Tumango ako bilang tugon
at tumayo sa gilid. I watch him drive his big bike somewhere behind the cars where
the other motorcycles were parked. I stood in the side, waiting for Semper who was
a little bit late than I expected. No one in sight was in the basement. I felt my
sweat ran down my forehead kaya hinanap ko sa shoulder bag ko ang panyo. 
Then from the heat of the temperature in the basement, I felt a cold
sensation. Something dangerous, I thought. Or maybe it was just my imagination.
Pinagpatuloy ko ang paghahanap ng panyo sa bag ko nang marinig ko ang tunog na
likha ng motor. The light flickered and it caught my attention. Just as I raise my
eyes, I saw the driver, who was wearing all black, with a black helmet pressed the
clutch. The engine rumble at sinalakay ako ng kaba. Is that Semper?
I heard the loud sound from the engine which sounded like a thunder, the roar in
the pipes was joined by my fast heartbeat when I noticed that the driver was aiming
on my direction, not in the proper way. The loud sound of the revving engine scared
me, and it became louder as it was going near me. My thoughts said that I should
run, but my legs wouldn't cooperate. Sinalakay ako ng matinding kaba and just as
before the whining loud engine of the motorcycle roll me conscious, I felt my knees
weaken and my sight became blurry. I felt my body hit the pavement and before I
totally close my eyes, the driver of the motorcycle flew to the other side, while
the motorcycle was crashing on the ground. There were friction sparks made by the
motorcycle on the pavement as it continues to roll sideways towards my direction. 
Ang isiping tatamaan ako ng motorsiklong iyon ang tuluyan na nagpawala ng malay ko,
but only right after I saw someone in black pulled it to stop.
#

[ 7 CHAPTER5WHATLOVEIS ]
-------------------------------

Chapter 5: What Love Is

I slowly open my eyes and find myself inside an emergency room. No machine
connected to myself. Wala rin akong nararamdamang masakit sa katawan ko and... oh
there was a bump at the side of my head, probably when I hit the pavement. Napadako
ang tingin ko sa lalaking nakaupo sa gilid ko. He was sleeping while sitting, his
head was placed against the wall.
It was Semper. He got a bruised face but I was the one on bed. We're supposed to
trade positions. Dahan-dahan akong gumalaw. I leaned closer to him and closely
examined his face. He was close to perfection, alright. But only if his eyes is a
little bit lively. Sayang kasi ang makapal niyang kilay, it would be best if it was
placed above a lively eyes rather than a lackluster one.
His nose was pointed, that everyone would be envy, even me. His skin neither white
nor dark. Just the right combination. Mapula rin ang kanyang labi na mas naging
kapansin-pansin dahil sa sugat. I wonder if he would flinch if I will touch his
wounded face. Wait, why am I always assessing his physical features?
"Do you really have to be that close?"
Bigla na lamang siyang nagsalita na ikinagulat ko. I almost jumped out of bed in
surprise! His eyes were still close, and he didn't move even a little.
"Hindi ka ba tulog?" I blurted out to hide my embarrassment.
"Hindi."
"Eh bakit ka nakapikit?" I asked. His eyes were still closed, which gave me a view
of how thick his lashes are. Damn, I don't need mascara with those lashes.
"I'm enduring the physical pain," sagot niya. Ibinuka niya ang kanyang mga mata at
tumingin sa akin ng diretso. And now it came to my mind!
"You tried to kill me!" I started hitting him with my curled fist but he caught my
hand. Sinubukan kong makawala at nagtagumpay naman ako kaya pinagpatuloy ko ang
paghahampas sa dibdib niya. He didn't flinch or move, hinayaan niya lang ako ngunit
napapangiwi siya sa ginawa ko. I continue hitting him until I felt my own fist to
throb.
"Pwede ba huminahon ka muna saglit?" Kalmado man ang boses niya, it is still very
dominating. Natagpuan ko na lamang ang sarili ko na naging kalmado gaya ng iniutos
niya.
"Hindi kita pinagtangkaang patayin," wika niya. It sounds convincing but I won't
believe him.
"You did."
I heard him sigh and pulled his hair. "It wasn't me."
"Hindi ako naniniwala." It was a lie. Naniniwala akong hindi nga siya iyon, but the
fact that he was the one who brought me there, the motorcycle, the outfit. It all
points to him. But..  why do I find myself contradicting my belief?
"Listen Violet." And so I did. Damn, why do I follow his instructions? "Hindi kita
tinangkang patayin. In fact I was the one who saved you."
My eyes met his but it's hard to tell if there's sincerity or none in his eyes.
Nevertheless, I believed him. "Kung hindi ikaw, sino?"
"Aalamin ko pa. I have a hunch but I cannot tell you for now." Napangiwi siya nang
bahagya siyang gumalaw. "My body hurts so much. So this is physical pain."
"Aren't you supposed to be treated?" tanong ko sa kanya. Fine, nag-aalala ako. If
he saved me, I would also return the favor. May ilang galos sa siko at braso niya.
"Hindi pwede."
"Bakit hindi?"
"I just don't want to," wika niya at ini-stretch ang katawan. "I will naturally
heal for a day or two. Humans are weak, hindi ko akalaing ganito pala ang sakit na
nararamdaman ninyo."
I caught him with his own words. "So you're not human." It's not a question.
He just looked at me. Walang sagot. Walang reaksyon. Just pure dull gaze.
"Hindi ka ba tao?" This time, I asked but he avoided my gaze.
"Maybe."
"Ano ka?"
"Stop asking questions for now," sagot niya. Ayan na naman ang kanyang tono na tila
ba sinasabing kailangan kong sundin ang sinabi niya.
"Could you at least give me a little detail?" I'm taking chances, I know. Baka
mainis ito at sakalin ako ng walang pag-aalinlangan pero tinanong ko pa rin. "Like
wat you really are. Just a little."
"I'm in the good side," sagot niya. He was serious with his tone. It could also be
that he is serious with his words.
"Good side of what?"
"I thought you want only a little. Siguro ay tama na iyon," wika niya at tumayo.
Hindi ko alam kung bakit bigla ko na lamang siyang hinila. He was taken aback and
wasn't able to maintain his balance kaya napaupo siya sa kama.
Naalala ko ang sinabi niya kanina. He wanted to talk to me. "Ano nga pala ang gusto
mong pag-usapan natin?"
"It's about Daven."
I suddenly became interested. "What's about Daven?"
"Huwag kang lalapit sa kanya. Do not go anywhere with him."
"Why?" gulat na tanong ko. Ano naman ang pakialam niya sa amin ni Daven? And hey,
not being with Daven is the last thing I wanted for now. There's no guarantee na
susundin ko ang sinabi niya.
"Just don't. Huwag mo munang alamin ang rason ngayon."
Tinitigan ko siya ng matagal at pilit na inaalam kung ano nga ba ang rason but I
couldn't find any. Sa halip ay pinili ko na lamang ibaling sa iba ang usapan.
"I think you need rest. T-thank you for saving me, good side," wika ko. Maybe I
will find the one responsible for this in the right time. I swear I will find him
whoever he is.
***
Do not expect me to be the totally good Samaritan. After I made Semper rest at the
hospital yesterday, agad din akong umalis. Ni hindi ko nga alam kung nakapagpagamot
ba siya o nahiga lang siya doon. Wala akong balak na bantayan at alagaan siya.
Habang nire-review ko ang mga notes ko kinabukasan ay hindi ko maiwasang isipin ang
mga nangyari kanina. It was an attempt of murder. Balak nga yata akong sagasaan ng
kung sino mang sakay ng motorsiklong iyon, if only Semper was a minute late,
malamang ay malamig na bangkay na ako. Hindi ko na ipinagpaalam sa mga magulang ko
ang pangyayaring iyon dahil ayaw kong mag-alala pa sila.
Ngunit sino nga ba ang nasa likod ng pagtangkang iyon? Alam kong marami ang naiinis
sa akin sa campus but it wouldn't take them that far. Hindi ko akalaing aabot sa
puntong iyon. If Semper was the one who saved me, then who was trying to kill me?
"Hi."
Napaangat ako ng tingin sa lalaking nagsalita sa harapan ko. My heart skip a beat
when I saw that he was Daven. Napatayo ako mula sa pagkakaupo at binati siya.
"H-hi...." Okay, let's face it. I'm still a teen and I have all the right to act
like one. I crossed my legs and lowered my face. I also placed some loose hair
beneath my ears.
"Can we talk?" tanong niya sa akin. Inilibot niya ang kanyang paningin sa paligid.
Iilan lamang ang nasa canteen at abala pa sa kanya-kanyang ginagawa.
"Ngayon na?"
"Yes, but not here," he said at hinawakan ang kamay ko. I was shocked when he did
it. His fingers slipped on mine and I felt the warmness of his palm. I clasped his
hand, matagal ko nang pinapangarap na mahawakan ulit ang kanyang kamay. I missed
holding his hands. I miss his lips pressed against my forehead. I missed him so
much.
Naghintay akong umalis siya ngunit nanatili lamang siyang nakatayo roon. His eyes
were on the table at saka ko pa lamang naalala na nagkalat pala doon ang mga
notebook at papel ko. I was reviewing for my other classes and his presence make me
lost my mind. Bumitaw ako sa kamay niya at nilagay sa bag ko ang mga gamit. Saka pa
lamang siya naglakad palabas ng canteen at sumunod ako. Nanghinayang pa ako dahil
hindi na niya hinawakan ang kamay ko. I should have left my things if I knew that
he will not held my hand again.
He guided me towards his car. Ah, Daven is just the perfect boyfriend. Maalaga,
maalalahanin, may respeto, gwapo, mayaman, may kotse...Name it, Daven has it.
Marahil nga ay hindi talaga kami magwo-work, gaya ng sinabi niya sa text noong
nakipaghiwalay siya.
He open the door for me at bigla na lamang pumasok sa isip ko si Semper. Er, why
did he appear in my mind?
Nagpasalamat ako kay Daven at pumasok sa kotse matapos iwinaksi sa isipan si
Semper. Pumasok din siya at akala ko ay aalis kami doon ngunit hindi niya binuksan
ang makina ng kotse.
"Hindi tayo aalis?" tanong ko.
"No. Gusto kong kausapin ka rito," wika niya. He held my hand and looked at me
worriedly. "Alam kong wala akong karapatang diktahan ang buhay mo Violet but I
really wanted to say this at sa tingin ko ay ito na ang tamang pagkakataon."
Okay I hate this. I don't want serious confrontation like this. Is this the closure
that I wanted before or is this a new hope?
"Do not trust Semper. Alam kong magkasama kayo kahapon."
Daig ko pa ang nabuhusan ng malamig na tubig at may kasama pang ice cubes na tumama
sa ulo ko. It wasn't a closure or confession, pero hindi iyon ang inaasahan ko.
What's the deal with him and Semper?
"Ha?" Pilit kong itinago ang pagkadismaya. Inalis ko rin ang kamay kong hawak pa
rin niya. "Sandali, magkaaway ba kayo ni Semper?"
"No. Hindi kami magkaaway. Sinasabi ko lamang ito sayo dahil nag-aalala ako," his
voice really sounded worried. It's one of the things I miss about him. His voice
when he is worried. The sound of his voice was soothing and I think I can sleep
peacefully even if he talks all day.
"Nag-aalala? For what?" Alam ba niya na hindi tao si Semper? Is that what he means?
He cupped my face with his warm hands and I felt my cheeks blushed. Tiningnan niya
ako sa mata. "Basta. Just do as I say." He stared at my face, like he is memorizing
every corner of my face. When he stared at my lips, I saw him dampen his lower lip
with his tongue. I swallowed hard. For six months of being together, Daven had
never kissed my lips even once. He loved to hug me and kiss me in the cheek or
forehead. At isa iyon sa mga bagay na nagustuhan ko sa kanya. He respect women and
I love him for that.
I know it sounds crazy but I was thinking that Daven wanted to kiss me on the lips.
And I was right. His face was moving closer to me. Nakatingin lamang siya sa mga
mata ko. And in a blink, his face was only an inch away from mine. I close my eyes
and waited. The car is tinted at walang makakakita sa amin. I almost feel his lips
on mine when we heard a loud revving of engine. May ilaw din na nagmumula sa labas
and even if the car was tinted, kinabahan pa rin ako kaya naitulak ko palayo si
Daven. Sabay kaming napatingin sa harapan kung saan nasa harap ng kotse ni Daven
ang itim na bigbike, which continuously makes an annoying sound of a revving
engine.
The driver removed his helmet and I was surprised to see Semper. His face was
serious, as usual, and his eyes were staring directly at me. Iignorahin ko sana ang
tinging iyon dahil tinted naman ang salamin ng kotse but no, I can't. It was
Semper, and he really is staring at me. Paano niya ako nakikita gayong tinted naman
ang kotse?! Sa sobrang kaba ay tinangka kong buksan ang pinto ngunit pinigilan ako
ni Daven.
"Don't. Stay here, please," wika niya.
Nagpalipat-lipat ang tingin ko sa kanya at kay Semper na nasa labas. Una kong
tiningnan si Semper na nasa labas at nakatingin pa rin sa akin. It's creepy to know
that the car is tinted yet he is looking directly at me. Lumipat naman kay Daven
ang tingin ko. His expression was also serious, hindi ko alam kung ano ang
nalalaman niya tungkol kay Semper to act this way. Sa isipan ko ay mas pipiliin
kong manatili dito kasama si Daven. I was hoping that maybe, he will realize that
he still love me.
Nakarinig ako ng papalayong tunog ng motorsiklo at nang tumingin ako sa harapan,
wala na si Semper. Saka lamang kami nakahinga ng maluwag ni Daven.
"It really bothers me to know that you are going out with that guy," komento niya.
"I'm not going out with him."
"I saw him follow you everywhere," sabi niya na ikinagulat ko.
"What?!" Semper is stalking me? Now that is creepy of all creepy.
"That's one of the reason why I asked you not to trust him."
"So there are others?" I asked. Alam kong gaya ng mga babae, may kanya-kanya ding
prejudice ang mga lalaki. Pwedeng hindi nila gusto ang isang tao sa isang tingin
lang. What if ganoon lang ang nararamdaman ni Daven kay Semper?
"Yeah, but I won't tell you for now," sagot niya. I looked at him, trying to find a
little something to spark up the hope within me. Maybe it's about time that we
should talk about us. About what happened to us and what will happen to us. I let
out some air few times before I was able to find the courage to speak.
"Daven, can we talk about—"
The loud ringing of his phone stopped me. Kinuha ni Daven ang kanyang cellphone
mula sa dashboard ng kotse and the caller ID shows that it's Iradessa. Wow. Ang
lakas din naman niyang man-timing. I was just few words away and there she is,
calling to prevent me. Siguro nga ay may sandemonyo si Iradessa. Whops.
Daven excused himself at lumabas ng kotse upang sagutin ang tawag. My chest began
to hurt na para bang pinagtutusok ako doon. Ayaw kong mas lalo pang saktan ang
sarili ko. Lumabas ako ng kotse at agad na naglakad palayo doon. I was heading
towards our department building.
"Are you done talking to him?"
Halos mapasigaw ako nang marinig ko ang boses ni Semper. He was standing behind my
locker, at kanina lang ay wala siya doon. Or maybe I was just preoccupied. The
first one seemed unbelievable pero iyon yata ang nais kong paniwalaan.
"Pwede ba, wag kang basta-basta manggugulat!" Napahawak ako sa dibdib ko. I must
really be surprised to have this fast heartbeat.
"Hindi kita ginulat."
"You did," sagot ko. He only move his head a little, like saying that he didn't.
Naalala ko ang sinabi ni Daven sa akin. I shouldn't trust him— No. Hindi ko iyon
iisipin dahil mababasa niya ang iniisip ko. He bumped his arm against mine as he
reached for a book inside my locker. Sinamaan ko siya ng tingin at inilayo ang
sarili ko sa kanya. I don't want to feel his skin on my skin.
"Or that's what you think." He scanned through the pages of my Cassandra Clare's
City of Bones.
I made a face and tried to grab my book from him but he was fast. He scoot on one
side, his eyes maintaining a straight look in my eyes. "Your face tells me that
Daven and you talked about me."
"Nice guess." Oo, medyo natakot ako. Siguro nga ay hindi utak ko ang binabasa niya.
I keep my pokerface and tried to grab the book again ngunit naiiwas pa rin niya
iyon.
"So this one affect your imaginations," binuksan niya ang libro at sa pagkakataong
ito ay nahila ko na iyon mula sa kanya. Maybe he meant to let it go. Inayos ko ang
libro at ibinalik iyon sa locker. I am one of those "touch my book and you're
dead". Never mess with my books.
He pulled something from my locker at binasa ang pirasong papel. He moved swiftly
that it was too late to realize that he got my schedule.
"Akin na!" Just like the book, I tried grabbing the pece of paper ngunit itinaas
lamang iyon ni Semper. "Ano ba!"
"You have a community service now," he said. Napansin ko ang bahagyang paggalaw ng
labi niya, and then it hit me that I was almost clinging to his body. Even if how
hard I tried not to blush, I still did. Inilayo ko ang sarili ko sa kanya at sinipa
ang kanyang tuhod.
"Akin na sabi eh!" Alam kong may community service ako. 12 hours, isn't it great?
At araw-araw ay halos isa't kalahating oras lamang ang vacant ko kaya ilang araw
kong kailangang icomply ang 12 na oras. With Iradessa and her minions.
Hinablot ko ang papel sa kanya, isinalampak iyon sa locker at padabog na isinara.
Semper successfully got under my skin. At galing pa ako sa sobrang pagkainis dahil
kay Daven at Iradessa. Naglakad ako palayo sa kanya matapos isara ang locker ko.
My thoughts were about Daven. Bakit niya ginawa iyon kanina? I feel like he really
wanted to kiss me. He even held my hand kaya bumangon ang pag-asa sa dibdib ko. But
shortly, it all shattered.
I felt someone on my back kaya nilingon ko iyon. As expected, he was following me.
His black eyes dig into my face and before I remember that he said he reads me
through my face, nakapagsalita na siya ng mga opinyon niya.
"He doesn't love you."
"What?" Narinig ko naman talaga ang sinabi niya ngunit iyon pa rin ang sinabi ko. I
think I know now what he is best at. Annoying people. Especially me.
"Gusto mo ba talagang ulitin ko?"
I took heavy breaths, and took few steps back to him. "Paano mo naman nasabi?"
"It shows."
"Shows what?" God, his expressionless face is irking me. And if ever his facial
expression changes, it is more of a mock and smirk and the likes, which is very
annoying. At all times.
"That he doesn't love you." Okay Semper Galvez. Strike two ka na.
I let out a fake laughter. So fake that even I, myself didn't like the sound of it.
"What do you know with the word love? I don't even think that you experience it. Sa
tingin ko nga ay wala kang girlfriend."
My last statement is when we talk about his attitude because physically speaking,
imposibleng hindi ito nagka-girlfriend.
"I have a girlfriend." Sa unang pagkakataon ay napansin kong tila nagkaroon ng
buhay ang mata niya.
"I don't think so. Kung may girlfriend ka, hindi ka sana bumubuntot sa akin
ngayon." Mayabang mang isipin, posibleng kaya siya lumalapit sa akin ay dahil gusto
niya ako. Uh. Not really sure but it could be.
"I'm doing this for her," mahinang wika niya ngunit narinig ko pa rin iyon.
"Anong ibig mong sabihin?"
Hindi niya sinagot ang tanong ko. Sa halip ay hinarap niya ako. Gone was the little
spark in her eyes, the dullness dominates it.
"I just know that he doesn't love you because if he did, gagawin niya ang lahat
upang magsama kayo. Even if it means putting his life into danger, he will do
everything so that you two will be together. In your case, he left you."
His lips started tilting again, which made me wanna punch him right there. How
could he say it directly to my face?! I took a few steps backward, give him a
deadly glare before I turn to walk away bago pa man mawala ang self-control ko at
masapak siya sa mukha niya.
#

[ 8 CHAPTER6STOPIT ]
-------------------------------

Chapter 6: Stop It
Two days passed. Dalawang araw ko na ring ginagawa ang community service ko. Good
thing I have a different task with Iradessa and her minions. Dalawang araw din na
maayos ang araw ko. No Semper who annoy me dahil dalawang araw ko rin siyang hindi
nakikita. Not that I am looking for him.
"Ano kayang nangyari kay Semper?" nagtatakang tanong ni Nikki. We were having our
lecture and she noticed his absence. "Absent eh."
Baka nakipag-asawa na sa girlfriend niya. Tsk, edi siya na ang may girlfriend! Ang
huli kasi naming pag-uusap ay tungkol doon. He also told me his definition of
love.  Pilit ko namang iniignora si Daven na nasa di kalayuan lamang. As much as
possible, I don't want to look at him dahil naiinis lang ako sa sarili ko dahil
paulit-ulit kong nakukumpira na mahal ko pa rin siya.
"Miss Dizon?"
I think I heard someone call my last name. Argh, I really hate myself. Ginugulo na
nga ni Daven ang utak ko, dinagdagan pa ni Semper.
"Gurl," bulong ni Nikki at kinalabit ako. Napatingin ako sa kanya at saka lamang
napansin na nakatunghay sa akin ang buong klase, including Sir Neo.
"Sorry," I mumbled beneath my breath. I saw Sir Neo smiled, but no, the smile
spills something. And I hate it.
"See me after the class Miss Dizon," wika niya at nagresume sa pagtuturo. Hindi man
lamang niya ako binigyan ng pagkakataong sumagot.
After the long wait is over, I stayed on the classroom, waited for everyone to go
out at nang ako na lamang ang naiwan ay lumapit ako kay Sir Neo na nakangisi habang
nagche-check ng quiz namin kanina.
"Gusto niyo po akong makausap Sir?"
Nag-angat siya ng tingin. Sinadya kong huwag lagyan ng anuman ang boses ko upang
kahit papaano ay normal lang ang pag-uusap namin. Let's just say that nothing
happened last semester.
He let out his boyish smile. The one that hook all the students here in the
university. "I just want to say sorry."
I did not expect the S word kaya nagulat ako. "Pardon?"
"I said I'm sorry," wika niya. His voice sounded sincere, and his eyes supports his
voice. "Let's break the ice between us. I know I acted like a jerk and
unprofessional so I am apologizing now."
I was thinking what's the catch. I don't think that he is the apologizing type. No,
I never thought that he is one. If he really wanted to, edi sana ay matagal na
niyang ginawa. O baka ako lamang ang nagpapakumplikado sa lahat. Delayed apology is
still an apology, right?
I thought he will never apologize and continue denying it. But he did. Kahit na
matagal bago niya naisipang humingi ng tawad, he still did.
"I was used to girls like those, sorry if I treated you like that," sabi niya. I
lost count if how many sorry did he said. All I know is that I still cannot believe
it. "I am really very sorry Violet. I think that's the least I can do after I will
leave this university." Yumuko pa siya at ilang beses na inutal ang salitang sorry.
Kinapa ko ang dibdib ko. Ako ang taong hindi mahilig mag-ipon ng sama ng loob sa
kapwa and after hearing Sir Neo apologize, mas gumaan ang pakiramdam ko. Really, he
is leaving?
"I'm really sorry Violet. Sa totoo lang ay gusto kita. You're smart, pretty and
everything and I used my power as your professor beyond its limit."  He sound so
sincere in his every words. "I'm very sorry for that."
Hindi naman siguro kailangang mag-ipon pa ako ng sama ng loob sa kanya. I gave him
a smile.
"Apology accepted Sir," wika ko na nagpaangat sa ulo niya. He sweetly smiled at me
at inabot ang kamay ko.
"Maraming salamat Violet. Thank you for being a model student. Mula ngayon ay
maipapangako ko sayo na hinding-hindi na iyon mauulit. Not with you, not with
anyone. I will be a righteous and ethical professor now," wika niya. I silently
hope that he will be true to his words. Kung saan man siya pag-alis niya ng AU,
sana lang ay totohanin niya ang kanyang pangako. I cannot confirm it personally
lalo na at nagbabalak na pala itong umalis ng AU.
"I hope you will be true to your words Sir." I smiled at him again at nagpaalam na.
Masaya ako sa nangyari. Kahit na medyo naiilang pa rin ako sa kanya, it's a relief
that we are fine now. Hindi ako nagtagal doon at agad na nagpaalam sa kanya.
Binuksan ko ang pinto at lumabas ng classroom. Muntikan na akong napasigaw nang may
nakatayong lalaking nakaitim doon. It was Semper.
"Ilang beses mo ba akong gugulatin?!"  I shouted at him. He was standing against
the wall, right behind the door. One hand was on his pocket, the other on the wall.
"Did I?"
I rolled my eyes. Sabagay, he didn't intentionally surprise me. Nakatayo lang naman
siya doon. Napansin kong wala na ang pasa sa mukha niya at ang ilang galos sa braso
niya.
"Your bruises were healed." He move his lips like he is agreeing to what I am
saying. "Saan ka galing, bakit ngayon ka lang dumating? Are you absent in all your
classes today? You missed our quiz. Katatapos lamang ng klase natin."
Sandali, ako ba ang nagtanong ng mga katanungan na iyon?!
"I rested to treat my wounds and body pain."
"Sino naman ang nag-alaga sa'yo? Girlfriend mo?" I didn't want to open up the
girlfriend thing but look, I just did. I wanna punch myself real hard.
"Why are you asking?"
"Masama bang magtanong?"
"No."
"Hindi naman pala eh."
"No, I wasn't taken care off by my girlfriend." Okay. His NO was the answer for my
previous question. Thank you Semper.
"Ah, I see," wika ko. Nauna na akong maglakad. It's so awkward. Attention of the
people around were on us right now. Naglalakad kasi ako sa corridor and behind me
was Semper. And yeah, we're talking. "You missed our class."
"Yeah."
"Hindi ba magagalit ang girlfriend mo kapag ganoon?" I almost bite my tongue. Bakit
ko na naman binuksan ang usapan tungkol sa girlfriend niya?!
"Hindi."
"Ah." If that would be me, siguro hindi nga ako magagalit pero hindi naman mabuting
pabayaan niya ang pag-aaral niya.
I don't know what's his deal kung bakit madalas kaming nag-uusap lately. I don't
think he's the friendly type kaya imposibleng isipin na nais lang niyang
makipagkaibigan sa akin ang rason ng paglapit niya.
Nagpatuloy lang ako sa paglalakad ngunit bigla akong napahinto at nilingon si
Semper na nakabuntot pa rin sa akin. "Bakit mo ako sinusundan?"
"I find the direction of where you are heading to, interesting," sagot niya.
Papunta ako sa gate dahil aalis ako sa campus.
"I'm going to church." Nais ko kasing magpasalamat dahil ayos na kami ni Sir Neo.
I've been praying for it for a long time at ngayon ay dininig na ang panalangin ko.
"Let's go." Semper walks forward, passing me. Let's go? He is going with me?
"Sinong may sabi sa iyo na isasama kita?" tanong ko sa kanya at hinabol siya.
Hinila ko ang laylayan ng damit niya at agad siyang humarap sa akin. Yes, he's
still wearing all-black outfit.
"Why not?"
"Church. Baka masunog ka roon," I joked. But it was half meant. Creatures like him
might actually burn at church. Maybe. Just maybe.
I was surprised when I see him smile for the first time. It was a smile that was
enough to make my stomach flutter. His smile was beautiful, I should say.
"I won't."
"Tuwang-tuwa ka yata?" It's weird to see him smile that way. Hindi ako sanay dahil
hindi naman siya ganoon.
He shrugged his shoulders. "I'll be able to see my girlfriend."
"Sa simbahan?" What the hell? Er, that wasn't a good expression. I just said about
a church and now I'm saying hell. Ano ba ang girlfriend niya? Madre? Choir member?
Catechist?
Tumango siya sa akin. "I'm giving you a free ride. Are you coming or not?"
"With you?"
"Yeah."
Hindi ko alam but I found myself agreeing. "Let's go."
***
Nang makarating kami sa cathedral ay naghiwalay na kami ni Semper. Pumasok ako sa
loob at nakinig sa prayers at nang matapos iyon ay pumunta ako sa bahagi ng
cathedral kung nasaan ang ilang mga rebulto at may daan-daang kandila. Nagsindi ako
ng tatlong kandila at nagdasal. I stayed there for a while at nang lumingon ako sa
mga rebulto ng anghel na may mga holy water ay nakita kong nakatayo si Semper doon.
He was facing the sculpture, with a weird expression.
Lumapit ako sa kanya at bahagya siyang siniko. "Hoy, inaaway ka ng rebulto?" It was
a joke, nakalimutan ko kasing hindi pala dapat magbiro kay Semper. He will not
understand it.
"I don't recognize this angel," wika niya at muling tiningnan iyon ng masama.
"Me too."
"Then why is it here? This must be fallen," mahina niyang wika. Ano ba ang problema
niya sa rebultong iyon? He touched the part where there was a crack. He touched it
like it was something so fragile.
I choose not to answer his weird question. "Did you meet your girlfriend?"
He withdraw his hands from the sculpture at tiningnan ako. "She's not here."
"Baka nasa loob. Ano bang hitsura niya?" I asked. I was swallowing some lump in my
throat and I do not know why.
"You cannot see her."
Wow Semper, is your girlfriend an invisible woman? Hindi ko iyon sinabi. Like I
said, hindi niya iyon maiintindihan. "Who knows. I have good eye sight. What does
she looks like? Maganda ba siya? Maputi? Sexy? Matalino?"
Semper's eyes glow. "Very beautiful. She's the most beautiful because her name in
Hebrews means beauty of God. She's luminous, shining in her own way. She's very —"
"Oo na! Oo na!" Pft! Magbuhat ba naman ng sariling bangko dahil sa girlfriend
niya?! "What's her name?"
"Jophiel."
"Sounds like an angel," wika ko.
"She is." Seryosong-seryoso ang mukha niya na kung hindi ko lamang alam na iyon
talaga ang normal niyang ekpresyon ng mukha, maniniwala ako sa sinasabi niya.
I don't want to hear anything about his girlfriend anymore kaya niyaya ko na siyang
umuwi. Hindi ko alam pero parang nawala ako sa mood.
"Let's go," sagot niya sa pagyaya ko sa kanya. No. I don't mean I want to go home
with him. He can stay here and wait for his girlfriend if he wants.
"Magta-taxi na lang ako." Hindi ko hinintay ang sagot niya at agad kong nilagpasan
siya. I don't know if he is looking at me from behind and I don't want to know.
Nakauwi ako ng bahay na walang kibo. Agad akong dumeretso sa kwarto ko at naglinis
ng katawan. Pagkatapos ay sinulyapan ko ang digital clock. It's past five in the
afternoon. I tried reading my books hanggang sa natagpuan ko sariling tuluyang
nilamon ng antok.
Nagising ako dahil sa kakaibang init. I also felt my sweat running down my body.
Ang naalala ko ay pinaandar ko ang aircon ng kwarto ko bago ako natulog. I was too
lazy to open my eyes and check but the heat became unbearable. Nang buksan ko ang
mga mata ko ay napasigaw ako nang makitang nasusunog ang kwarto ko. My shelf was
swallowed by the fire at palapit na ang malaking apoy sa kama ko. I coughed few
times, the smoke inside was suffocating. Kailangan kong lumabas sa silid ko ngunit
maging ang pinto ay tinutupok na rin ng apoy.
I cried for help few times in between my cough ngunit halos mamaos na lamang ako ay
wala pa ring tulong na dumarating. Sinubukan kong maghanap ng anumang bagay na
maaring makatulong sa akin sa silid ko. Binuksan ko ang mga drawer but there was
nothing useful.
To my surprise, there was someone there! He was standing on the window, watching me
from the outside. His silhouette was enough to make my knees shake. Nang sinipa
niya ang bintana at pumasok doon ay mas lalo pa akong napasigaw. It was a guy,
dressed in all black. Naaptras ako nang unti-unting lumapit sa akin ang nakaitim na
lalaki.
Sa takot ko ay tinakbo ko ang pinto. I started shouting for help but no one was
there. Hindi ko magawang hawakan ang doorknob dahil sobrang init na niyon kaya
sinipa ko ang nagliliyab na pinto. I passed throught the flames but so as the
figure. I skidded down to the hall towards the stairs nang mapatid ako. I cried
hard when I saw that it was Mom. She was lying on the floor. Wala na itong buhay.
Nanikip ang dibdib ko at hindi ako makahinga. Papalapit pa rin sa akin ang itim na
pigura ng lalaki kaya kahit gusto ko mang umiyak lamang doon, I pulled myself
together. Bumaba ako ng hagdan, papunta sa sala. The flame was also starting there,
I tried blocking anything I see on the way ngunit napatigil ako nang makita ko si
Laven Der sa sahig at wala na ring malay.
"Lav!" Ilang beses kong inalog ang kapatid ko, but it was no use. "Lav! Lav!"
The fire was eating the whole house and on the corner, I saw Dad's body. He was
still in his business, probably he just got home from work. Masakit na ang
lalamunan ko sa kakaiyak at kakasigaw.
Unti-unti na ring lumalapit ang itim na pigura sa akin. He was inside me, telling
me in my head some words that seem incomprehensible. Tinakpan ko ang tenga ko upang
hindi ko marinig ang sinasabi niya... But... but Semper is the only person that I
knew who could do that thing!
Parang mabibiyak ang ulo ko sa sakit na dulot ng pagsasalita niya sa ulo. I tried
to close my eyes at sumigaw dahil sa sakit. It was so painful, so painful that I
could die any moment from now.
"Stop it!" Pagmamakaawa ko sa kanya. Unti-unti nang natutupok ang lahat ng gamit sa
sala. At the corner of my head, I was silently wishing that the bodies f my family
will not be caught by fire.
Patuloy pa rin ang pagsasalita ng pigura sa isipan ko. His voice was dull and deep.
It was scary like it's coming from somewhere deep and scary.
"STOP IT!" Sigaw ko. I know it's no use. Hindi pa rin niya ako papakinggan. "STOP
IT... SEMPER... Please stop." And I continued shouting as I felt the throbbing in
my head.
#

[ 9 CHAPTER7NIGHTMARE ]
-------------------------------

Chapter 7: Nightmare
Mukha ni Laven Der ang nabungaran ko nang buksan ko ang mga mata ko. He was on my
bed, looking at me with a worried expression.
"Lav!" Napabangon ako at niyakap ang pitong taong gulang na kapatid ko. My eyes
roam around my room. No fire. No broken window. No guy in black. Thank goodness, it
was just a dream.
Lav pushed me away but I didn't let go. "Ate, ano ba! Bitawan mo nga ako!"
I was just happy that it was all a dream. Laven Der is safe and so as Mom and Dad.
Masamang panaginip lang pala iyon, thank God.
"I had a bad dream," wika ko, freeing Lav from my tight hug. Pinahid ko ang pawis
sa noo ko- why am I sweating as this gayong nakabukas ang aircon? Kung gaano ako
kapawisan sa panaginip ko ay gayundin ngayon.
"Yes, that's why I'm here Ate. I heard you scream," sagot ni Lav. I screamed? In my
sleep? Damn, that dream felt so real! And I'm sweating like it's real! Mainit ang
pakiramdam ko na tila ba nasusunog nga ang salid ko!
"I did?"
"You're calling a name."
"What name?"
"Se-rper? Tunog ganoon." Semper. I was yelling Semper's name in my dream. I guess
there's really no good in hanging out with him lately. Masama ang panaginip ko. In
my dream, the man in black was trying to get something from me. It's the... I
blinked few times. Ano nga ba ang nais niyang kunin? Bakit hindi ko maalala? And
the guy in black, in my dream I didn't get to see his face. Ang alam ko lang ay
itim ang suot niya. At parang totoo ang panaginip ko. Naramdaman ko ang malamig na
pawis sa katawan ko.
"Ate? Ayos ka lang ba?" Laven Der cupped my face and made me face him. Ngumiti ako
sa kanya upang ipakita na ayos lang ako. "Baba ka na. Kakain na tayo."
Sinulyapan ko ang digital clock sa kwarto ko. Pasado alas otso na kaya marahil ay
nasa baba na si Daddy. Una nang nagpaalam si Lav sa akin at sinabi ko namang
susunod lang ako pagkatapos kong maghilamos. Nakatulog pala ako pag-uwi ko galing
sa simbahan kasama si Semper.
Pagbaba ko ay nasa hapag-kainan na silang lahat. I kissed Dad at pumwesto sa
bakanteng upuan. Habang kumakain ako ay napansin ko ang pagsulyap ni Daddy sa akin.
It's making me conscious kaya ibinaba ko ang kubyertos at hinarap si Daddy.
"Dad, you can ask."
Ngumiti siya sa akin. "How's school?"
I shrugged my shoulders. "Nothing unusual." Except my sudden company with Semper.
Ngumiti lang si Daddy sa akin. His clothes were exactly what he was wearing in my
dreams. Nagtatrabaho siya bilang premier account manager sa isang malaking real
estate company and an investor in the stock market. Hindi ko alam kung bakit bigla
akong kinabahan dahil sa suot niya. Now that I noticed it, Lav and Mom also wear
the same clothes in my dreams. I felt my body shiver on the thought at napansin
iyon ni Mommy.
"Violet? Ayos ka lang ba?"
"May problema ba?"
Sinaid ko ang laman ng baso ko. They all looked at me with a worried expression and
I gave them an assuring smile. "Wala po."
Hindi naman siguro nangyari o mangyayari ang panaginip ko. Pero kinakabahan pa rin
ako. I know I shouldn't ignore it. Binilisan ko na lamang ang pagkain at agad na
bumalik sa kwarto ko.
Hindi ko mapigilang isipin na dahil iyon kay Semper. This is the first time that I
had a bad dream about my family. Noong bata pa ako ay binangungot ako na hinahabol
ako ng malaking baboy- but no nightmare involving my family. When I grew older,
dinalaw naman ako ng napakalaking gagamba sa panaginip ko at nagkasleep paralysis
pa ako but still, it doesn't involve my family. Ngayon lang sa buong buhay ko.
Oh well, sabi nga nila, there's always a first time. Maybe I was just being
paranoid. Iwinaksi ko na lamang sa isipan ko iyon at nagpahinga.
***
Bangon-higa ang ginawa ko sa kwarto ko. It's almost eleven in the evening pero
gising pa rin ako at iniisip ang kakaiba kong panaginip. Kahit anong pilit ko ay
hindi ko magawang iwaksi iyon sa isipan. Maybe Semper's presence is not good for me
kung kaya't anu-ano na lamang ang mga napapanaginipan ko.
I reached for my phone and logged in on facebook. Inilagay ko ang pangalang Semper
Galvez sa search tab ngunit walang account na lumabas. I tried twitter, instagram
and other social networking sites pero wala pa rin. Sinong millenial ba ang walang
social networking site ngayon? Like hello, pinsan ko ngang six months old, ginawan
na ng facebook! Or maybe meron siyang social networking sites accounts pero
gumagamit siya ng fake name. I tossed my phone in frustration.
Maybe Semper is not one of us who cannot last a day without visiting one (if not
all) of our social media accounts. Pwede na iba ang hilig niya. But how would I
know kung ano ang hilig niya? Sinulyapan ko ang cellphone ko at agad ko iyong
kinuha. I think the best person to ask is Nikki.
I dialled her number and waited. Ilang ring lamang ay narinig ko na ang sagot niya.
"Hindi ko ito inaasahan Violet, usually ay tulog ka na sa oras na ito."
Sumandal ako at hindi na lamang pinansin ang sinabi niya. She didn't even bother to
say hello. "Hello ang inaasahan kong sasabihin mo."
I heard her laughter. "So what life and death situation made you call at this
hour?"
Parang pinagsisihan ko ang pagtawag ko. It would seem weird for her to know that I
called to ask her about Semper. "Eh..." Naririnig ko ang malakas na musika. She
must be somewhere like... in a club? "Are you in a club?"
"What's wrong with it?"
"At Thursday night?" Alright, no issue on ages. She's eighteen, I'm eighteen. The
difference is I've never been to a club. Not even once. And I'm not interested to
be in a club.
"No quizzes or homework. My class will be by one tomorrow kaya okay lang," sagot.
"Bakit ka tumawag?"
"Promise me that you will not think that I have a thing with the person I'm about
to ask," wika ko.
"I promise."
"I want to ask some things about Semper." Okay, I said it. No turning back.
"Oh my Geeee! May gusto ka ba sa kanya? Ito na ba ang hashtag road to forget Daven
and hashtag team Semper?" Great. She just broke her promise.
"I'm hanging up."
"Sandali! Ito naman joke lang. What do you want to know?" Narinig ko pa ang
bahagyang pagtawa niya.
"Where does he lives? Ano ang pinagkakaabalahan niya? Tell me anything you know
about him."
"You know what? I have a good idea. Why don't you come here at Dowby's and ask him
yourself?" she said, and from her voice I can imagine her wide grin.
"NO!"
"Okay, just look at him from a distance. Observe him, how about that?" tanong ni
Nikki.
"NO WAY!"
So this is how it feels to be in a club. Similar to what you see on televisions, it
was noisy and people were wasted. Some were dirty dancing on the dance floor,
others were chatting and most people are drinking.
"Are you fine with that juice?" tanong ng kasama ni Nikki. Pinakilala niya ako dito
pero dahil maingay doon ay hindi ko masyadong narinig ang pangalan niya. I smiled
and nodded before I sip on the juice.
Unfortunately, after my big NO WAY, I found myself took a cab at nagpahatid sa
Dowby's. Habang nag-uusap kami ay namataan pala ni Nikki si Semper. She said he was
comfortably sitting there, watching people around. Pwede naman akong tumanggi
ngunit ayaw ko. Gusto kong itanong sa kanya kung bakit hanggang sa panaginip ay
ginugulo niya ako. But when I arrived there, there was no Semper.
"Nikks, did you trick me?"
"Hindi ah!"
I was close to believing her but no matter how I look around, no sign of Semper.
Sabi ni Nikki ay hindi niya ito hiniwalayan ng tingin ngunit nang dumating ako ay
nawala ito. That or maybe she's lying.
"Do you want to dance?"
Bigla akong napatayo nang maramdaman ko ang pagbulong ng kasama nina Nikki. I felt
his lips touched my ears at nagdulot iyon ng kakaibang sensasyon. More of
"nakakadiri" than any other sensations.
"N-no. Ayos lang ako." I move myself away from him. I figured out to myself that
night out isn't my thing. I definitely hate everything here- including this guy.
Mukhang desidido talaga ito sa balak niyang pakikipagsayaw sa akin. He moved closer
again, bumping his knees on my leg.
"Maganda ang pakiramdam kapag nasa gitna tayo." His breath smells like alcohol and
cigarettes. I hate cigarettes. And I think I'll hate him too.
"Okay lang talaga ako. Hindi ako mahilig sumayaw." That was supposed to mean I
don't want to dance with him.
His arms snake at the back of the chair that I'm sitting. "Sige na."
Sa pagkakataong ito ay nagawa kong tumayo at in-excuse ang sarili ko. Nikki is busy
with her boyfriend kaya ang lalaking nasa tabi ko ang sinabihan ko. "CR lang ako."
Hindi ko na hinintay ang sagot niya at agad na tumayo upang lumayo sa kanya. Now I
regretted coming here. Sana ay nanatili na lamang ako sa bahay kahit na maburyo ako
sa kakaisip sa masamang panaginip ko. This guy is just another nightmare or he
could be worst!
Pumasok ako sa banyo ngunit hindi ako nagtagal doon dahil may naririnig akong
kalabog sa kabilang cubicle. Then a moan. A moan? And a cussing. Weird. Ano kaya
ang nangyayari sa kabila?
I'm planning on heading home kaysa sa bumalik sa pwesto namin kanina. Baka mamaya
masapak ko pa ang kasama nina Nikki. Maybe I'll just call her when I got home.
Binuksan ko ang pinto at muntikan na akong mapatalon sa gulat nang bumungad sa akin
ang mukha ni Semper. Actually, not his face. It's his chest because he is taller
than me and I'm not in my high heels. Even if I haven't look at his face, I knew
immediately that it's Semper. Sino ba ang kilala kong palagi na lamang akong
ginugulat sa may pinto? Si Semper.
Sino ang kilala kong itim ang palaging sinusuot from head to foot? Si Semper.
Sino ang may kakayahang magdulot sa akin ng biglang kaba gaya ng nararamdaman ko
ngayon? Definitely Semper.
When I looked at his face, he was wearing a cap, with its brim facing backward. He
was wearing a black shirt, black short pants and black rubber shoes. Saglit na
nagtagal ang mata ko sa binti niya. Legs not hairy? Check. Broad shoulders beneath
his shirt? Obviously check. Non-scandalous abs? That I don't know.
"Are you done assessing me?" tanong niya.
"What?!" There's no way that I will admit that I assessed him. May natitira pa
akong hiya sa katawan kaya hangga't kaya pa, I will deny to death. "I'm not
assessing you."
"My turn."
"Ano?" Gulat na tanong ko. Before I know it, naglandas na ang kanyang mga mata sa
kabuoan ko. He first looked at me on my feet. My black doll shoes got no problem.
Then to my jeans. Naging conscious tuloy ako. This jeans is what I wore the other
day at hindi pa iyon nalalabhan. Hindi naman madumi or what, I wore it for just two
hours the other day (who cares? Everyone uses their clothes not only once or twice
before they wash it.) Hindi ko alam kung imahinasyon ko lamang iyon ngunit parang
nagtagal ang paningin niya sa balakang ko. My shirt was a plain V-neck white shirt.
I was comfortable with what I'm wearing until Semper appears. His eyes were now on
my face at pakiramdam ko ay namula ako. Thanks to the lights of the club, I was
able to conceal it.
Bigla na lamang niya akong hinila at muntikan na akong napasubsob sa dibdib niya.
"Ano ba-" Napatigil ako nang may lumabas sa pinto na kinatatayuan ko. So he pulled
me because someone will pass, nakalimutan kong nakatayo pala ako sa pintuan. It was
a girl... followed by a boy. What?! Hindi ko alam na co-ed pala ang CR na iyon. The
sign on the door says it's for the ladies.
Patuloy akong hinila ni Semper paalis doon sa pintuan ng banyo. Sinubukan kong
makawala mula sa pagkakahawak niya habang dumadaan kami sa gitna ngunit nabigo ako.
Dinala niya ako sa labas ng bar at doon lamang ako binitawan.
"Ano ba ang kailangan mo sa akin?" Naiinis kong tanong sa kanya. How dare him drag
me here?
"Ako ang dapat magtanong niyan." Semper has this aura which will make you wonder
about him. He is scary, cold and mysterious.
"Ano?"
"Sabi ni Nikki na may kailangan ka daw sa akin," wika niya. Oh God, I'm controlling
my feet not to find its way back inside and kick Nikki. Hindi man lamang niya
sinabi sa akin na sinabi niya kay Semper na may mga kailangan akong malaman tungkol
sa kanya.
"Wala akong kailangan sa'yo."
"That's lying."
"Wala nga!"
"Liar."
Oo na. Ako na ang sinungaling. "So as you."
"What did I lie about?"
Okay ano nga ba? Bakit hindi ko yata pinag-iisipan ang mga pinagsasabi ko kay
Semper? "A-about you."
"Anong tungkol sa akin?"
"Kung ano ka."
Still, there were no emotions in his eyes. "I didn't lie about it. I chose not to
say what I am."
"Pagsisinungaling pa din yun," sagot ko sa kanya. Okay, I'm not making any sense
but I'm not losing this talk with him. No way.
"No, it's not." Sumandal siya sa isang kotse na naroon. I looked around trying to
find someone who can help me sakaling may gawing masama si Semper sa akin.
"Nanaginip ako," wika ko. Panaginip lamang iyon ngunit pakiramdam ko ay totoo kaya
kailangan kong malaman kung may kinalaman nga ba siya doon.
"Tell me about it." He crossed his arms as he waits. Nagdadalawang isip pa rin ako
ngunit sa huli ay nagpasya akong sabihin sa kanya iyon.
"Nasusunog ang bahay namin. Pinatay ang pamilya ko. And I saw you. You kicked my
window and... and..." Unti-unti namang lumalabo ang alaala ko tungkol sa panaginip
ko.
"And?"
"H-hindi ko na maalala..." That was frustrating. Binagabag ako ng panaginip na iyon
kaya impossibleng malimutan ko iyon ng ganun-ganun lang. Well, madalas naman sa mga
panaginip ko ay nakakalimutan ko. Some people dream and forget about it the moment
they woke up.
"Nakita mo ako sa panaginip mo?" His eyes became darker than the usual. Hinablot
niya ako sa braso at inulit ang tanong niya. "Sigurado ka bang nakita mo ako sa
panaginip mo?"
Bahagya akong nagulat sa reaksyon niya. What was that in his eyes? Anger? Surprise?
"H-hindi ako sigurado kung ikaw iyon. He was wearing all black and... and..." Damn,
wala na akong maalala.
"Hindi kita binisita sa panaginip mo," sagot niya, still naintaining that dark look
in his eyes. Umakyat ang kamay niya sa balikat ko, where he pressed. "Ano ang
naalala mo tungkol sa lalaki?"
Sinubukan kong alisin ang kamay niya ngunit hindi ko magawa. I just felt his
fingers dug into my shoulders. Pakiramdam ko ay magmamarka doon ang kamay niya.
"Wala akong maalala! Bitawan mo nga ako, nasasaktan ako!"
His gaze dropped on the ground as he pressed his skin in between his eyes. I could
tell that he was thinking about something that could be a problem.
"Hindi ako dumalaw sa panaginip mo," wika niya, making each word clear. Ngayon
tuloy ay nagtataka ako kung kaya ba niyang gawin iyon. I stared at him while that
question linger on my mind. "I can."
Hindi na ako nagtaka. His 'I Can' was the answer that was on my mind- or maybe my
face. Ang alam ko lamang ay napaatras ako, not sure kung matatakot ba ako o hindi.
Isang bagay lamang ang sigurado. Semper is definitely not human. He just read my
mind!
"Someone followed me here." He said in a low voice. Mukhang sarili niya ang
kinakausap niya at hindi ako. He took a heavy sigh at mukhang may kinakaharap
siyang problema. He pinched the bridge of his nose like he was thinking hard while
I remain standing with my mouth gaped open. Hindi pa rin ako tuluyang nakahuma sa
pagsagot niya sa katanungang nasa isipan ko lamang. I doubt if he can still say
that he read my face dahil madilim doon. There's no way he can see my face clearly.
"Go home," he said and walked away.
#

[ 10 CHAPTER8IKNOWWHATYOUARE ]
-------------------------------

Chapter 8: I Know What You Are

Isang linggo rin ang lumipas at naging payapa ang linggo ko. Maliban kay Iradessa
na iiyak yata ang linggo na hindi ako pinapakialaman, no other stuff that ruin my
week. Not even Semper. Hindi ko alam kung ano ang nangyari sa kanya nang huli
kaming mag-usap sa bar. Whatever it was, it stopped me from suffering with Semper's
presence. Hindi na ako nagugulat kapag bigla na lamang siyang susulpot sa pinto
dahil hindi na siya nag-aabang doon. Hindi na niya ako kinakausap, either through
his mouth or my head.
Thank goodness na sa isang subject lamang kami magkaklase. Sa isang linggo ay
tatlong beses lamang kami nagkikita sa klase. Hindi ko rin siya madalas makita sa
campus. Hindi rin niya ako kinakausap nitong mga huling araw. Noong una ay nagtaka
ako ngunit sa huli ay inisip ko na lamang na mas mabuti iyon. Nasa canteen ako
ngayon at nagmemeryenda kasama si Nikki.
"Gurl."
I was munching on some chips, drown with the thoughts of why Semper was not
following me. Don't get me wrong. Hindi ko siya nami-miss or what, nagtataka lang
ako. Isa pa, I like the thought that he is following me or any other guy dahil
pakiramdam ko ay makakatulong iyon upang magselos si Daven. Yes, you can say that
I'm using Semper. Pero ngayong iniignora niya ako, Daven is cool with it. Ako pa
ang nagseselos dahil sa ka-sweetan nila ni Ira! Magka-diabetis sana sila!
Napaangat ako ng tingin nang hinila ni Nikki palayo ang kinakain kong Chippy kaya
sa mesa nag-landing ang kamay ko.
"Hey!" I tried grabbing the Chippy back but she already put it on the table, beside
her.
"Hay salamat, nakuha ko rin atensyon mo," sagot niya sa akin at kumagat sa kanyang
dalang Snickers. "Anong problema mo?"
"Wala naman." No problem at all. Hindi ko na sinumbatan si Nikki tungkol sa pagsabi
niya kay Semper na papunta ako sa gabing iyon. I know Nikki, she always play the
Cupid.
"Meron yan."
"Wala nga."
"Alam ko ano." She smiled naughtily.
"Wala nga." Nikki could be annoying at times. Ipilit ba naman na may problema?
There's none. Definitely none.
"Nag-away kayo ni Semper ano? Friendship over na kayo?" She began munching on my
chips. "Sabihin mo nga, may kinalaman ba ang nangyari sa club?"
"Walang nangyari sa club!"
"So si Semper nga." She smiled like she's saying she got me. "Anong pinag-awayan
niyo?"
I sighed in surrender. "Hindi kami nag-away okay? Walang friendship over dahil
hindi naman kami friends in the first place."
"Pero napansin kong nag-iiwasan kayong dalawa." There's no sense denying. Iniiwasan
ko nga si Semper ngunit mukhang iniiwasan niya din ako. I don't really get him. One
day he just talk to my head, come to my house and saved me from harm and from Daven
and then disappear just because I told him about my dream. Ni hindi ko pa nga
nalalaman kung ano siya, at mukhang hindi ko na malalaman.
"Nikks?"
"Hmm?"
"Don't you think Semper is a little weird? Sa tingin mo ba ay hindi siya normal?"
I'm weird for asking such questions out of the blue. Maaring isipin niya na kung
anu-ano na ang pumapasok sa isipan ko.
"Now that you mentioned it... Sa tingin ko weird nga siya," Nikki said. "Sinong
lalaki ang walang ibang kulay ng damit kundi puro itim?"
Wow Nikki. That's a point. "Maliban doon?"
"Wala siyang kaibigan. Ang ibig kong sabihin ay wala siyang kaibigan na kasabay
kumain o anong kadalasang ginagawa ng mga lalaking kaklase natin. Ni hindi siya
halos nakikipag-usap sa iba."
And that too.
"At kung makatingin siya kay Daven ay tila anumang oras ay susugod siya."
"What?!" Okay, I didn't know the last one. Nasa likuran ko siya nakaupo kaya wala
akong ideya kung sino man ang tinitingnan niya.
"Napansin ko kasi na iba ang tingin niya. Akala ko sa'yo but when I checked, it's
for Daven. Alam mo Violet, baka may gusto si Semper sa'yo at kaya ganoon ang tingin
niya kay Daven ay dahil alam niya na ex mo si Daven. So that explain the glare,"
Nikki said, convinced with her own theory. But for me it wasn't like that. Walang
gusto sa akin si Semper, alam ko. I am certain about it.
"May girlfriend na siya." He bragged to me about her girlfriend. Kesyo nasa
simbahan daw ang girlfriend niya- ay mali. Napakagandang girlfriend niya pala.
Napakagandang girlfriend na anghel sa paningin niya. Tsk.
"Nakita mo ba?"
"Hindi." At wala akong balak makita. I don't care about his girlfriend.
"Hindi naman pala eh."
"Her name's Jophiel."
"Tunog bakla."
Hindi ko sinagot ang sinabi ni Nikki dahil nakita ko si Iradessa sa counter at may
dala siyang pagkain. She walked towards our direction and sat on the table next to
us. Sa halip na kainin ang kanyang pagkain ay itinaas niya ang kanyang kamay na
mayroong singsing. Simple lamang ang singsing na iyon at walang bato. It's more
like a ring that is engraved with some names.
"Daven is so sweet," she said, turning her eyes on me. "Maganda ba Violet?"She
showed her finger with a ring on it to me.
Si Nikki ang sumagot sa tanong nito. "Oo maganda, pero ang dapat diyan ay itapon!"
Her tone was a little weird though. Tumikhim siya at inayos ang kanyang boses.
"Wow, memorize ko pa nga talaga ang declamation piece ko noong elementary. Daddy,
ito nga pala ang award ko. Hindi ba, maganda? Maganda? Oo maganda, pero ang dapat
diyan ay itapon! Huwag po-"
"Nikks!" I called out her name to avoid further embarrassment. Tiningnan naman kami
ni Iradessa ng masama. She shifted her eyes to my direction.
"What did Daven give you?"
He gave me love. His time and everything. Hindi ko naman kailangan ng mga bagay. I
don't need any jewelry. Nangangati lang ang katawan ko kahit na tunay pa iyon. I
think they're kind of hassle too.
I looked at Nikki and picked up my chips. "Tayo na Nikks." And there's no way I'm
living my Chippy here. I'm not a war freak but Iradessa is tempting me to be one.
She just know how to annoy the hell out of me. Hila-hila ko pa rin si Nikki nang
hinawakan niya ako sa braso.
"Ayos ka lang ba Violet?" Tila nag-aalala ang kanyang ekspresyon. Nikki and I are
friends since I enter the university dahil parehas kami ng kurso dati until she
shifts to engineering. We don't call each other as best friends but I guess that's
what we are.
I raise my empty fingers to her. "Hindi ako mahilig sa singsing o kahit anong
alahas."
"Hindi iyan ang ibig kong sabihin."
I forced a smile. "I will be fine."
"That's my girl," she said kasabay ng pagpitik niya sa ilong ko.
***
Naging abala ako sa pagre-research kung kaya't madilim na nang nakalabas ako ng
library. Malakas din ang ulan at sinabayan pa iyon ng pagkulog at pagkidlat.
Sumilong ako sa covered pathway sa labas ng university. Iilan na lamang ang
estudyanteng naroon at katulad ko ay naghihintay din sila ng taxi na masasakyan.
Okay, I never thought that it would rain tonight dahil halos magcrack na ang scalp
ko kanina sa sobrang init. At dahil hindi naman ako gumagala kung saan-saan, hindi
ako nagdala ng payong, at dahil wala akong payong... uh. I will be drenched when
I'll be home. Hindi na maipinta ang mukha ko sa sobrang inis. Nagpara ako ng taxi
pero endangered species na talaga ngayon ang mga lalaking gentleman. Makikipag-
unahan sila sa paghablot sa pinto ng taxi at tatalon papasok. Great, isn't it?
Nakikipagtalo pa rin ako sa sarili ko kung lulusong ba ako sa ulan o maghihintay
hanggang maabutan ako ng hatinggabi dito, and before I could choose of the two,
isang puting sedan ang huminto sa harapan ko. Ibinaba ng driver ang bintana ng
kotse at sumingaw doon ang nakangising mukha ni Iradessa.
"Violet, pasok ka na inside our car. You'll get wet with rain, sige ka!" she said
with a grin. Nasa driver's seat si Daven. Hindi ito nakangiti, sa halip ay
napakaseryoso ng mukha nito. Hindi ko tuloy mawari kung bukal ba sa loob nito ang
paghinto.
Kahit pa siguro abutin ako ng taon dito, hinding-hindi ako sasakay sa iisang kotse
kasama sila. May natitira pa rin naman akong pride sa sarili ko kaya kahit bumaha
man ay hindi ako makikisakay sa kanila. Also, being in the backseat of the car with
them is a torture. At hello? Close ba kami para yayain niya ako?
"May hinihintay ako." I'm a terrible liar but I did good this time. Well, I'm not
really lying. Hinihintay ko na tumila ang ulan- it's still waiting right?
Congratulations Violet. Gusto ko ring parangalan ang sarili ko dahil nagawa kong
sumagot ng maayos.
"It's late. Baka mapaano ka pa dito sa labas," pagpupumilit niya. Hello? Why would
she care? If I know gustong-gusto niyang makita ako na magtampisaw sa ulan. But of
course I know that riding at the backseat with them would give her more
satisfaction.
Yeah it's late. Baka mapaano pa ako diyan sa loob kaya wag na lang. No, baka mapano
pa kita. "Salamat na lang." Hindi ko alam kung ano ang nasa isip ni Daven, why he
isn't saying anything.
"I'm really waiting for someone," wika ko at nag-iwas ng tingin. Why can't they
just leave me alone?
Sa huli ay sumuko na rin sila. Daven drove off while Iradessa was giving me mocking
smiles. I didn't cry pero hindi ko maiwasang magselos. Ako sana ang nasa kotseng
iyon and not Ira. Ipinilig ko na lamang ang isipin at pinara ang ang paparating na
taxi na sa kabutihang palad ay huminto at nakasakay ako.
***
Nagising ako dahil sa maingay na tunog ng cellphone ko. Dahan-dahan kong binuksan
ang mga mata ko at inabot ang cellphone sa bedside table. Nang sulyapan ko ang
digital clock ay ala una pa lamang ng madaling araw. Who the hell is calling me at
this hour? Nagtatalo pa ang inaantok kong sarili kung sasagutin ko ba ang tawag o
hindi ngunit ng rumehistro doon ang numero ni Daven ay bigla na lamang akong
nagising.
Yeah, it was Daven. Kahit na unregistered caller iyon, I know that it's Daven.
Ilang beses ko nang ini-delete ang kanyang numero but who am I kidding? Mas
memoryado ko pa nga ang kanyang numero kaysa sa sariling cellphone number ko!
Umayos ako ng upo at tatlong beses na huminga ng malalim bago sinagot ang tawag.
"H-hello?"
"Violet..." Daven's voice was, how should I describe it? Wheezy? Maingay din ang
naririnig ko kaya marahil ay nasa isang club siya ngayon. "Violet... take care of
yourself."
Lasing siya, sigurado ako. But still I am swayed by his words reminding me that I
should take care of myself.
My heart raced when I heard Daven said it. I can hear other noise ngunit tila
naging blanko ang utak ko dahil sa sinabi ni Daven. Mahal pa ba niya ako? Why would
he call me at this hour? May bahagi ng isip ko ang nagsasabing lasing lang siya
ngunit mas gusto kong paniwalaan ang bahagi ng isip ko na nagsasabing matagal na
niyang nais na sabihin iyon. I need to talk to him.
"Daven?" I heard his groan from the other line as well as his heavy breaths. "Daven
nasaan ka?"
I don't have to discuss what does it feels to be in a club dahil ganoon pa rin ang
pakiramdam noong unang beses akong nakapunta dito. Nang tinanong ko si Daven kanina
kung nasaan siya, ang sabi niya ay nasa Dowby's siya and then I found myself jumped
into my jeans and shoes and took a cab towards Dowby's. Pagdating ko roon ay
sinalubong ako ng maingay na tugtog ng musika. Ilang beses na bumuntong-hininga ako
bago pumasok. Hopefully Mom and Dad will not wake up and find my room empty at sana
rin ay makausap ko ng maayos si Daven. Ayaw kong magtagal dito dahil may pasok pa
bukas. I let myself pass the crowd of people. Iba-iba na ang amoy nila but for
them, it doesn't matter as long as they are enjoying the night.
Hinanap ko si Daven sa loob at matapos ang ilang minuto ay natagpuan ko siya.
Nakasubsob ang ulo niya sa mesa habang nagkalat sa harapan niya ang ilang bote at
baso. His companions must be in the crowd, dancing or doing whatever. I advanced
myself towards him at tinapik ko siya sa braso. Itinaas niya ang kanyang paningin
and I saw him smile in those cloudy eyes.
"H-heyy-y, you look like someone I know. K-kamukha mo si Violet, mas maganda nga
lang siya sayo," he said with a smile bago muling sumubsob. Hindi ko maiwasang
magblush, of course maganda ako sa paningin niya and it made me happy.
"Daven..." I sat beside him at inangat ang ulo niya ngunit inilagi niya iyon sa
mesa but his face is facing me. His eyes were cloudy. "Ako 'to, si Violet."
"You even sound like her," he said and giggled. His hair was a mess and he looks so
cute with his cheek pressed on the table.
Inilapit ko ang ilong sa mukha niya. His breath smelt like alcohol at sigurado
akong lasing na ito. Kung sakaling mag-usap man kami, he will not be in his right
mind since he is drunk.
"Umuwi ka na lang kaya," wika ko. Sinubukan ko siyang itayo ngunit sadyang mabigat
siya. I tried again but we fell kaya napasandal ako sa couch na kinauupuan namin
samantalang ibinaon naman ni Daven ang kanyang mukha sa leeg ko.
"A-nd you smell like her..." Nakapikit pero nakangising wika niya. "I miss her... I
miss Violet so much..." He began to sob and I felt my neck wet with his tears.
Umiiyak ba talaga siya? Iniangat ko ang mukha niya at tiningnan iyon. He really is
crying! Paulit-ulit din niyang sinasabi na miss na niya si Violet, and hey, that's
me.
His arms snaked around my waist and I felt his warm breath on my neck. It was a
gesture which brings so many emotions in me. Hinayaan ko lamang siya sa ganoong
posisyon. Gusto ko iyon dahil pakiramdam ko ay ayaw niyang malayo sa akin. I like
it because it feels like I was owned by him and I own him. I touched his hair. I
don't mind staying like this forever. With him. Only him.
Ilang minuto rin kaming nanatili sa ganoong posisyon. Inayos ko siya ng pagkakaupo
at nagpaalam na gagamit muna ng banyo. Paepal naman kasi ang ihi ko! Sa ganoong
pagkakataon pa talaga napiling lumabas. Daven just sat there, adjusting his sight
as well as himself. Tumayo ako at agad na tinungo ang banyo. Pagpasok ko sa isang
cubicle ay may narinig akong pamilyar na boses na pumasok din sa banyo.
"I hate this! Richard called saying Daven was hugging a girl!"
Napatigil ako sa pagsasara ng suot kong pantalon. It was Iradessa's voice. Angry
voice to be exact. Mula sa loob ng cubicle ko ay may ideya na ako kung ano ang
ekspresyon ng mukha niya ngayon.
"Nakita mo ba kung sino?"
"Unfortunately no. And if ever I did, manghihiram talaga ng mukha sa aso kung sino
man ang babaeng iyon!"
Uh-uh. Warfreak. Hindi ako natatakot sa kanya... pero ayaw ko rin munang lumabas
dito. Err, I don't know. Ayaw ko lang sigurong masangkot sa gulo lalo na at war
freak si Iradessa.
"Sige na girl, go ka na dahil baka bumalik doon kung sino man ang babaeng iyon,"
sabi ng isang kasama ni Iradessa. "Saan ka ba kasi galing?"
"Trying to flirt with Semper."
"What?" exclaimed her friend and the same goes with my mind. What?! Really?! Ang
landi talaga ng babaeng yan! Sana ay doon na lamang siya kay Semper! She must leave
Daven. With me.
"At kumusta naman?" Isa pa tong kasama niya. Why are they giggling like crazy?
"I think he's gay."
"Ano?!" Okay, for the second time ay parehas ulit ang reaksyon namin ng kaibigan
niya. Si Semper, bakla? "Paano mo naman nasabi?"
"He keeps on resisting me! Palay na nga ang lumalapit sa manok and hello? I'm not
just a plain palay!" Iradessa's voice was annoyed. She must really hate the idea
that Semper is gay amd rejecting her. Pero bakla nga ba si Semper?
"Baka naman wala lang sa mood girl."
"I don't think so. He doesn't even respond to my touches. Ni ayaw niya akong
halikan. Kahit wala sa mood ang lalaki, once I touch them, they will be aroused but
Semper? Wala." Iradessa sounded so frustrated.
Sayang naman si Semper kung ganoon.
"Halika na nga, baka kung sino na naman ang lumapit kay Daven."
I heard the door closed at naghintay ako doon ng ilang sandali bago lumabas sa
cubicle but I almost scream to find Semper inside.
"Anong ginagawa mo dito sa loob?!" I shouted at him. Nasa loob siya ng CR ng mga
babae at sa tapat pa mismo ng cubicle kung nasaan ako. So he's back into surprising
me out of the blue.
"I thought you'd be surprise to see me behind the door kaya pumasok na ako," wika
niya. Weh? Baka naman feel niya lang talagang sa CR ng mga babae pumasok. Maybe
Iradessa is right. Semper is gay.
Tiningnan ko siya sa ibang paraan. It was a "I-know-what-you're-hiding-look."
"What?" he mouthed.
Hinawakan ko ang braso niya at hinila siya papasok sa cubicle na nilabasan ko. I
saw his eyes grew wider nang ini-lock ko ang pinto. "What are you doing?"
"I know what you are at alam ko na rin kung bakit inilalayo mo ako kay Daven," wika
ko sa kanya. I just figured it all. Alam ko na kung bakit siya ganoon and why he is
telling me not to attach myself to Daven. Natagpi-tagpi ko na ang lahat ng nga
piraso- well except for him talking in my head. Napansin ko ang paninigas ng bagang
niya.
"And you dared to trap yourself in this small space with me gayong alam mo na kung
ano ako?" Seryosong-seryoso ang kanyang boses, and there was a hint of... anger? It
looks like anger. Galit ba siya na alam ko na?
"Semper look. Marami pa namang lalaki eh, can you do me a favor please? Huwag si
Daven. He likes me, I mean he still loves me. Kaya please, do not come in between."
"Ano?!" He has the most surprised expression that I've ever seen.
"Sapat na si Iradessa. At ikaw naman... There's Silver or Richard and all other hot
guys at school basta huwag lang si Dave-"
"Ano ba ang pinagsasabi mo?"
"I just figured out the reason why you keep telling me to avoid Daven. I know what
you are."
"Ano?"
"Bakla ka." Okay, I didn't expect that I will say it that easily. Nakakatakot naman
kasi ang boses ni Semper eh! Pinagsisihan ko tuloy na nandito kaming dalawa sa loob
ng masikip na cubicle.
"Bakla." He nodded and put his hands on his chin. "Bakla." Bumaba ang kamay niya at
inilagay niya iyon sa kanyang beywang na para bang nafu-frustrate siya sa isang
bagay.
"Oo bakla. As in gay. Wala naman akong hinanakit doon, I mean I am not against
third sex-"
"Third sex," he said in amusement, clenching his jaw.
"Supporter ako. Kahit na i-rally niyo na ipatupad na ang same sex marriage sa
Pilipinas, susuportaan ko kayo but Semper..." I let out a heavy sigh. "Please not
Daven."
He must really feel bad na alam ko na ang sekreto niya. His face cannot hide the
frustration, shock and amusement. Hinawakan ko ang balikat niya at hinarap siya sa
akin.
"Promise, wala akong pagsasabihan na kahit sino, your secret will be safe with me
basta ba... Do not fantasize over Daven." I even raised my right hand bilang tanda
ng panunumpa.
When he raised his eyes and looked at me, there was an unbelievable look. Maitim
ang kanyang mata na tila ba sinasabing wala siyang nagustuhan sa mga sinabi ko. I
should have added more color to it. Uh.
"I'm not gay and you have no idea what I am," his voice was cold like a piece of
ice pouted on my neck. Humakbang siya papalapit sa akin at napaatras ako. At dahil
maliit lamang ang espasyo doon ay naramdaman ko na ang malamig na naka-tiles na
dingding na nasa likuran ko. My chest is about to burst and I was saved by the loud
knock on the door.
"Hoy bawal mag-sex sa loob ng CR! Lumabas kayo diyan!"
Oh no. I wasn't saved. I'm doomed.
#

[ 11 NOTE ]
-------------------------------

Important Note
Hello, guys! It's me, Tammii! I've been writing in Wattpad for more than two years
now and you always shower me with love, support and appreciation in my works.
2018 is my year! A lot of opportunities knocked and I opened my doors and here's
another one!
This story, AS YOU LIE AWAKE has been selected for a short-term closed beta program
to support writers like me.
So you may be wondering what is this short-term closed beta program? This is a way
for you, readers, to support your favorite writers and for writers to earn from
their works. Wattpaders around the world suggested features to reward their
favorite writers and this program is a way to do so.
My story and I were chosen to become part of this and it is mainly because of your
immense love and support. It's an honor for me to be chosen in this program and at
the same time, an opportunity to grow as a writer. It means a lot to us writers
that readers will be able to support through this program.
Thank you so much for the unceasing support, guys! Let us support Semper and Violet
'till the end of their story!
Semper Fidelis, Tammii/ShinichiLaaaabs

Chapter 9: Pitch Black

"Anong gagawin ko ngayon?!"

Semper crossed his arms and scowled at me. "Ito na ang pang-anim na beses na
itinanong mo iyan mula nang
may kumatok dito. You dragged me into this mess, think of a way to get out."
I cannot help but glare at him. "Pwede bang tulungan mo na lamang ako?"
Nakatayo lamang siya roon at tila walang balak na mag-isip ng paraan. We cannot
just walk out of here out of
humiliation. Some people out there think that we are uh, making something immoral
inside here. I don't want
to risk my reputation. No way.
Tumingin ako sa maliit na bintana just on the wall above the toilet bowl. It was
small and cranked open. That
way, I'll be able to squeeze myself outside given my small body. Sa tingin ko ay
desperada na ako and that
window is my last resort to get out of this small place. I got one foot up on the
toilet bowl but Semper held my
arm first.
Sa tingin mo ay makakatakas ka diyan? How about me? Hindi ako magkakasya" he said,
clenching his teeth.
I free myself from his grip. "Use the door. Walang mawawala sayo, wala kang
reputasyon na iniingatan kaya
hindi magiging malaking problema sa yo kung tatahakin mo ang tamang daan."
Selfish as it seems but only intended to save myself. Bahala na si Semper sa sarili
niya!
He groaned in frustration but lignore him. I stand on my toes to level my elbows on
the window. It will be
challenging. I know. My face will surely meet the ground but I'd rather do it than
meet people with dirty
thoughts. Bakla si Semper but it would be hard to prove to them. Hanggang ngayon ay
deny to death pa rin si
Semper at alam kong nahihiya lamang siyang aminin iyon.
Saka ka na umalis kapag nakalabas na ako." wika ko sa kanya at sinimulan na ang
pagkasya sa sarili ko sa
maliit na espasyong iyon. The window was dusty and who knows that there might be
used pads placed there
before but it's least of my concerns now. Sa ngayon ay kailangan kong makalabas
dito. Asap
It was a hard way, at wala na rin akong alam kung paano lumabas si Semper. Once my
head was out, I couldn't
see what happened behind me. I wiggled myself until almost half of my body was out.
I sighed few times
seeing the ground was high at siguradong babagsak ako sa lupa. Pero kailangan ko
iyong gawin. I continued
wiggling my way out nang may magsalita mula sa gilid.
Are you fine there?"
Muntikan na akong napasigaw nang narinig ko ang boses ni Semper. Not from behind me
but in front of me.
Nakatayo siya sa harapan ko. Nang ganoon kadali? My body is just halfway out the
window ngunit ngayon ay
nasa harap ko na siya gayong kanina ay nasa isang cubicle lamang kami?!
"Anong ginawa mo diyan?'' sa gulat ko ay iyon ang natanong ko. Obviously what he is
doing is just standing. Ni
hindi man lamang ito nagkusang loob na tulungan ako. For sure I look stupid from in
the inside with my butt
stuck on the window. Sana lang ay wala pang pumasok. Halos kumulo ang dugo ko nang
makita si Semper sa
harapan ko. Didn't I tell him not to get out untill get out of this window first?!
"I'm trying to see how stupid you are," sagot niya. Humalukipkip siya and I thought
I saw a grin on his face. Oo
na ako na ang nagmumukhang tanga dito!
Sana naman ay magkaroon siya ng initiative na tulungan ako.
"Help me!"
He didn't budge na siyang ikinaakyat ng lahat ng natitirang dugo mula sa katawan
ko, "Hey"
Sa huli ay tinulungan niya ako. He pulled my body out of the window at inilapag ako
sa lupa. His hands were warm pero hindi ko na lamang iyon pinansin.
"Paano ka nakarating dito?" I asked unbelievably habang pinapagpagan ang sarili.
Kahit siguro tumakbo siya
ay hindi siya makakarating ng ganun ganun na lamang. Unless, he used teleportation-
er am I making any
sense?
"Easy-peasy."
I felt uneasy. Bigla na lamang akong nakaramdam ng takot. Semper isn't human... His
supernatural powers
like mind reading and speaking in my mind. ibig bang sabihin nito ay sa siyang...
"By any chance... Are you a..." I swallowed hard. Are you a vampire?"
I thought he will get angry ngunit ilang beses akong napakurap nang makita ang
sagot ni Semper.
For the first time I saw him laugh. It was a laughter that will make your heart
beat fast. His smile reached his
cyes and tiny tears were on the verge of falling. It must be very funny for him
because his teeth showed. Well,
wow. His leeth were naturally nice.
Patuloy lang siya sa pagtawa at pinunasan ang mga luha. "I'm crying for the first
time."
"First time?" Ah. Maybe it's the first time that he cried because of laughing
Like hello? Baka hindi niya alam na umiyak siya noong pinanganak siya.
"Excuse me, what were you saying a while ago?" This time ay hindi na siya tumatawa.
His face was back to his
normal face. The one which is hard to determine whether he is feeling happy or the
other way,
"Tinatanong ko kung bampira ka ba..." Even if he didn't say yes, I covered my neck
with my hair. Makakatulong
daw iyon sabi ng pamilya ni Edward sa Twilight upang hindi agad nila maamoy ang
dugo ko. Thanks Stephanie
Meyer for that book. I think I can see its help now other than for entertainment.
He showed me his teeth. "I've got no fangs."
"You had them hidden.'
"Where did I hide them?" He's good in playing innocent.
"Ewan ko sa'yo." Yes, I am shaking in fear. Madilim dito at walang katao tao sa
likurang bahagi. Everyone was
busy inside at nasa harap lang din ang mga bouncer ng club. Muli siyang tumawa na
ikinainis ko
"Anong nakakatawa?"
"You.
"Is that your way for me to trust you? Mas natatakot ako sa tawa "K-kung gusto mo
yung dugo ko... Wag muna
ngayon. Medya low blood ako at... at..." The dim surroundings just added the
creepiness and darkness of
Semper's aura. "H hindi ako naghilod ng leeg... Hindi masarap kung sisipsipin mo
ang dugo ko dito."
I don't know if he smiled or what (although I don't think he would smile). He just
took few steps towards me,
maintaining a considerable distance.
"That would be the last thing I wanted to do to your neck. I've got a list in my
head." And through the
remaining light in the sky, I saw him smile a pirate smile. "First is"
"I don't want to know!" Sa totoo lang ay trumiple yata ang nararamdaman kong takot.
One thing is for sute,
Semper is not human. Maybe a vampire ch? A gay vampire? Or was he really gay? Sabi
nga ni Ira, he didn't
respond to his touches. Wala akong ideya kung ano ang ibig sabihin ni Iradessa nang
sinabi niya iyon but I had
a wild guess.
He stopped and stood there kung ano man ang gusto niyang gawin sa dugo at leeg ko,
that I don't want to
know! Sana lang ay wag niyang sipsipin ang dugo kol
"Hindi ako interesado sa dugo mo," wika niya na nakapagpalaki sa mga mata ko. The
next thing I know was
that I was lost as he stared at my lips. I knew it. He read my mind. Alam ko 'to
eh. Gaya ng Cullen Family,
Semper got Edward's telekinesis. I don't know if he got Alice's precognition but
for sure he got Jasper's
pathokinesis. He was able to change my emotions in split of a seconds. At first as
I was scared, then I was lost.
And then there were a lot of other emotions I can't quite figure out why was
feeling Yep, Semper is capable of
making me feel such.
"I..I'm leaving!"
Hindi ko na hinintay ang sagot niya. Sa halip ay tumakbo ako ng ubod ng lakas nang
walang lingon-lingon
hanggang sa marating ko ang harap ng Dowby's. I hailed a cab at nagmamadaling
nagpahatid pauwi habang
pilit na kinakalma ang sarili ko.
By the time I reached home, lumingon-lingon ako sa paligid at nagmasid kung sumunod
ba si Semper. There
was no eerie feeling kaya mukhang hindi siya sumunod. Agad akong bumaba ng taxi at
dahan-dahang
pumasok sa loob ng bahay matapos magbayad.
After I sneak my way in, I lay in my bed and think of all the things that happened.
I don't want to be scared
anymore kaya mas pinili kong isipin si Daven kaysa kay Semper. I even had a glass
of milk with me.
Daven is making me hope for some things and hold on to it. Kaya lamang ay natatakot
akong baka ako lamang
ang humawak sa pag-asang iyon.
Humiga ako sa kama at niyakap ang isang teddy bear na binigay sa akin dati ni
Daven. It was when we
celebrated our 100 days of being together. I stopped myself from looking back in
the past. Reminiscence will
only hurt me kaya mas mabuti pa na hindi ko na lamang aalalahanin ang nakaraan. I
reached for my bedside
lamp and turned the lights off before I lie myself flat on my bed. I will get
myself a goodnight sleep at 2 AM.
When I woke up, I wasn't in my bed. Nasa isang madilim na pasilyo ako at may ilaw
mula sa hulihan ng pasilyo.
The light was dim and flickering and one moment, the light turned out. Isa-isa at
paunti-unti hanggang sa
tuluyan nang lumapit sa akin ang kadiliman. I shouted for help but no sound came
out from my mouth. I tried
kicking my legs but it was numb. my whole body shivered nang may narinig akong mga
yabag na papalapit sa
akin. Pinilit kong gumapang palayo, my knees are weak but I pushed my body to
crawl. Palayo mula sa yabag
na naririnig ko.
Ang ilaw na lamang sa tapat ko ang natitirang ilaw na nakabukas. Then I saw
someone. It was the person who
was making the footsteps that I heard. He was wearing black and my eyes traveled
from his black shoes, up to
his black jeans then to his black shirt. I think I know who it was basing on his
physique. Before I eyes can travel
up to his face, his hands were quick to knock me off with something kaya isang
malakas na sigaw ang
pinakawalan ko kasabay ng pagpikit.
Nang buksan ko ang mga mata ko ay nasa kama ako. Beside me was the teddy bear that
I was hugging last
night. Masakit ang lalamunan ko na tila ba may sugat. Thank God it was all a dream.
I wasn't in a dim hallway.
No guy in black trying to knock me off with something hard. Tumayo ako sa kama at
dumeretso sa banyo.
washed face and looked at my reflection in the mirror. Lately my dreams felt so
real. It was scary too. Iwinaksi
ko sa isip ko ang panaginio ko at naghanda na lamang upang pumasok
Nang bumaba ako ay hindi ko na naabutan si Lav at si Daddy at kahit si Mommy. It's
past 10 in the morning at
mamayang ala-una ay may pasok ako. I reached for some bread and cheese spread for
my brunch. Nagtimpla
din ako ng kape kahit na mainit ang panahon. Pakiramdam ko kasi ay kailangan kong
magising dahil
hanggang ngayon ay hindi ko pa rin tuluyang nawawaglit sa isipan ko ang panaginip
ko.
Quarter to 12 ay nasa university na ako. Mamaya pang 1:30 ang klase ko but I chose
to come early upang
pumasok sa library. Pagdating ko doon ay humigit ako ng libro tungkol sa world
literature. It wasn't that it is
something that I want to study. It was just my front to sit there and think about
Daven. Him and the signals
that he is throwing. No, not really signal but a hope. Hindi ko alam kung ano ba
talaga ang nararamdaman niya
sa akin ngayon at wala rin akong lakas ng loob na itanong iyon sa kanya. Natigil
lamang ang pag-iisip ko nang
isang libro ang bumagsal sa harapan ko, it created a loud thud noise which made the
librarian whistle in anger.
glared at the person who dropped the book and it was Semper. He sat across me and
rested his head on the
book facing me
"How's your sleep?" he asked. Gusto ko sana siyang ignorahin lalo na at may mga
panaginip akong hindi
maganda kung saan malakas ang hinala ko na siya ang nakikita ko doon. His black
fashion is one biggest clue
to it.
"Hindi maganda dahil binangungot na naman ako ng dahil sa'yo!" I don't want to
remember last night. The
awkward scene at the comfort room, the knock on the door and me squeezing myself
out of the small dirty
window. The thought that he is a vampirel Argh! Ayaw kong isipin
Sumeryoso ang mukha niya o sadyang ganoon na talaga iyon. "Napanaginipan mo ulit
ako? I told you !
haven't invaded your dreams."
"Pakialam mo ba kung ikaw napanaginipan ko? Masama nga talaga ang epekto ng
presensya mo sa akin."
I saw a hint of anger that glittered in his eyes. Hinawakan niya nang mahigpit ang
braso ko na nasa mesa.
"Hindi ako pumasok sa panaginip mo!" His voice is firm like he's telling me that he
is capable of such.
Pinasok? Can he really invade my dreams? I felt my jaws shaken. Whatever the
sensations that he is injecting
me, fear tops it all. "A-anong ibig mong sabihin?"
"Listen Violet, I did not invade your dreams. Whoever it is, isa lamang ang
sigurado ako. It's the person who
wants you to believe that I am the one in your dreams. Tell me what happened
there."
"Bitawan mo ako!" I said beneath my breath. Ayaw kong makaagaw ng atensyon doon sa
library.
Semper pinched the bridge of his nose as he tried to control his temper. "I don t
want to appear before you as
much as you hate my presence. Kailangan ko lamang itong gawin. Para sa akin kaya
nagtitiis ako dito sa lupa
at binabantayan ka. If I were you make things fast. Do not ever trust Daven. Huwag
kang sumama mag-isa sa
kanya. Even up until the third full moon."
I tried my best to free myself from him. "Hindi kita maintindihan!" He cannot just
go around saying those
things! Lalo na at si Daven pa. "You're scaring mel" I hissed.
"You shouldn't be. Be scared of Daven. Wala kang ideya kung ano ang kaya niyang
gawin." His face was
relaxed. Mahigpit pa rin ang pagkakahawak niya sa kamay ko na kahit anong galaw ko
ay hindi ko mabawi sa
kanya. Sinubukan ko ulit na makawala and when I did, I immediately picked up my
phone and hurried out of
the library. My sweats were cold and I have no idea if it was deliberately made by
Semper or maybe it's just my
sweat, cold because of him.
My knees were weak at tila nais kong umuwi. Mahigit 45 minutos na lamang sana ang
hihintayin ko but I don't
think I can make it. I want to go home and hide. Away from Semper. Lumabas ako ng
campus, my knees
wobble but I maintained my balance to stand on my feet. My sight was blurry for
some unknown reasons and
my head was swirling. Hindi na ito maganda.
I was confused and terrified to the point that I didn't bother to look at the
traffic light whether what color it
shows. Natagpuan ko ang sarili kong tumawid sa kalsada, eyes on the other side of
the road, not minding
anything from my side, not untill heard a loud screeching sound. It was coming near
me, and along with that
screeching sound of tires, maingay din ang sunod-sunod at tila natatarantang busina
ng sasakyan. I heard
people shouted and my mind was not in its right function so I cannot identify
whatever they were shouting.
Itinaas ko ang mukha ko at tiningnan ang dako kung saan ko naririnig ang tunog ng
sasakyan. Mas lalo lamang
nanigas ang katawan ko, my knees wobble three times than before, halos sumabog na
ang dibdib ko sa
sobrang kaba. My mind was unsure whether I should run or stay standing in the
middle of the road. At kahit na
magpasya ako kung anong gagawin, ayaw naman sumunod ng mga paa ko. Natulos lamang
ako sa
kinatatayuan ko habang hinihintay na daganan ako ng papalapit na sasakyan
Half a meter before the car collides on my body, I swear I saw something black
rushed towards me, it was so
fast that it only seemed like it was smoke and I found my body on the other side of
the road. Bago ako
tuluyang mahimatay, I was able to took a glance on my saviour but the only thing
that I was able to see before
I pass out were black wings.

Chapter 10: Not Human

Mula sa pagkakahiga ay in ad ust ko ang paningin. I blinked few times as if I'm

trying to check if something is
wrong with my eyelids. Tila mabigat ang mga iyon at gayundin ang katawan ko. Few
moments. I was
disoriented but my memory served me right. Presko pa sa isipan ko ang muntikan kong
pagka-aksidente.
tried feeling my body if any part of it stings but there were none. No serious
injury, maliban sa ilang
mumunting galos lamang,
"How do you feel Miss Dizon?" bati sa akin ng resident doctor ng university. She
was Dra. Mariafe. She used to
be a military doctor. This is the first time that we talk dahil hindi naman ako
suki ng infirmary,
"Ayos lang po." I feel perfectly fine-at least physically. Sa tingin ko ay doktor
sa utak ang kailangan ko. My
brain is in turmoil, thinking about the black wings I saw before I lost
consciousness.
What was it? A crow? A very big crow? Habang iniisip ko iyan ay bigla akong
sinalakay ng kaba. "Sino ang
nagdala sa akin dita?"
"No physical injury, think you passed out because of shock. Nasa labas ang nagdala
sa'yo rito." Inilapag niya
sa mesa ang lang papel at ballpen. "Fill up these papers and if you wish to go, you
can. Kung hindi maganda
ang pakiramdamn mo, maari kang magpahinga muna.
Ginawa ko ang sinabi niya at nagmadaling lumabas. Sa tingin ko ay hindi ko
kailangang manatili roon at
magpahinga. I was expecting to see Nikki but to my horror, it was Semper. Nais ko
sanang muling pumasok sa
silid ngunit huli na dahil nakita na ako ni Semper. Tumayo siya at sinalubong ako,
his hands tucked inside his
pants pockets.
"Ikaw ang nagdala sa akin dito?" I asked with a rude tone. Kahit siya pa ang
nagdala sa akin dito, wala akong
pakialam. He's the reason why I was out of myself in the first place!
His lips made the gesture to answer my question. He held my arm at hinila ako
paalis doon nang wala man
lamang salitang binitiwan,
"Why did you save me?" Sinubukan kong hilahin ang sarili ko palayo sa kanya ngunit
mahigpit ang
pagkakahawak niya sa akin.
"Why not?' he shot back
"Hinayaan mo na lang sana akong mamatay." Okay, I didn't mean these words. I don't
want to die this early
Kung anu-ano na lamang ang lumalabas sa bibig ko at danilyon sa takot. Takot ako
kung sakaling ano man
siya
"You cannot die. I mean not yet."
"Teka nga." I succeeded in freeing myself from him. "Aside from being a jerk, what
are you?" Why does his
words seem like a threat to me? I cannot die-not yet? Maaring banta nga iyon or
it's just me being paranoid
and all
His eyes travel from my arm up to my face. "Hindi iyan ang pag-uusapan natin." Wala
yata siyang balak na
sabihin sa akin kung anong klaseng nilalang nga ba siya.
"What made you think na makikipag-usap ako sa'yo?" Thissed at him.
"You will."
"You wish."
"I saved your life, he said,
"You're the reason why I was in danger in the first place!" Which is true! Siya ang
rason kung bakit nawala ako
sa sarili at hindi napansin ang rumaragasang sasakyan. But he doesn't seem
surprise. Hindi rin siya mukhang
naniniwala sa akin. And he cannot use the "I saved you card" this time!
"Isisisi mo sa iba ang katangahan mo?"
Katangahan? Wow, Semper is good in making me angry with his word choice. Muli niya
akong hinawakan sa
braso at hinila palayo doon. I tried to resist as hard as I could hanggang sa
dumating kami sa carpark. It could
either be he is this strong or just lack the strength to resist. Saka lamang niya
ako binitawan nang makarating kami roon. In front of his rusty car.
Nang binitawan niya ako ay nilingon ko ang mga estudyanteng nasa gilid. May mga
bench sa gilid at may mga
estudyanteng nakalainbay doon.
But not everyono pay attention to us. I mean no one. No one was paying attention to
us. Me with Semperis
enough to capture attention but no. We were not getting any. O kahit si Semper lang
mag-isa ay kaya niyang
manghatak ng atensyon. Ni wala man lamang sumulyap sa gawi namin. It seems like
we're invisible
"Ano ka ba talaga? Ano ba talaga ang kailangan mo sa akin?" ilang beses ko na bang
natanong ang mga
kalanungang iyon sa kanya?
'Wala akong kailangan sayu. Ils the other way around. You need me for your safely,"
he replied, his eyes not
leaving my face. Kung si Daven pa ito at baka nanghina na ang mga tuhod ko sa mga
titig na iyon. But no, it's
Semper, beks, misteryoso at parang hindi no. At ano ba itong pinagsasabi niya? Ako?
Kailangan ko siya para sa
kaligtasan ko? Joke baiyan? Am I supposed to laugh? Ang siya si Superman o kung
sino mang super hero?
"Ayan ka na naman Sempere. I told you your secretis safe with me"
"Hindi ako bakla, neither a vampire nor a superhero." His voice was manly and full
of conviction of course,
know that pattern. May mga kaklase akong beks na kapag nabubuking ay pinapalalaki
ang beses
"Okay lang yan. Mahirap naman talagang aminin."
"Am not!" This time his voice was angry that it made mo flinch.
"Eh ano ka?!'
"Hindi ako lao!" He shouled at my lace, Baka naman hindi iyon sigaw. Maybe all I
can hear is his voice. Gone
was the laughter of the students on the side. Wala akong ibang marinig kundi boses
niya. May problema ba
ang mga tenga ko?
"Edi ano ka?" I looked around trying to find a way to escape. O kung may tao ba sa
malapit na maari kong
hingan ng tulong kung sakaling may gawin mang hindi maganda si Semper.
"Hindi ko alam kung kailangan ko ba itong sabihin but since I am in a dimension
that no one can hear us, sa
tingin ko ay mas mapapadali ang lahat kung malaman mo at maging cooperative ka....I
am.."Ho signed
heavily. Hindi ko alam kung bakit pero biglang akong kinabahan at natakot.
Kinabahan ako sa hindi ko
malamang dahilan at natakot ako kung sakaling ano man ang isagot ni Semper sa kung
ano man siya. And
what is he saying? Nasa dimensyiun kari na walang makakarinig? Does that explains
why all I can hear is his
voice and it seems that no one is listening or paying attention to us?
"laman angel."
I counted one to tive and waited for him to put his fingers into a V-sign kasabay
ng pagsabi niya ng Hoke Jokel
Jokol'o kaya naman ay I got you! o kung ano mang mga salitang may ganoong
kahulugan. But my counting
was extended to twenty ngunit hindi pa rin nagsasalita si Semper. He was just
staring straight to me
Unsure of what to do, I faked a laugh and it only made the situation more awkward.
"Wag ka ngang magbiro,
hindi nakakatawa. Nakakatakot. Ang biro niyang iyon ay nakakatakot.
"Hindi ako nagtitira. Isa akong anghel." I stared at him and imagined how he was an
angel but I can't. Mahirap
is pin na isa siyang anghel. Baka devil, mas maniniwala pa ako.
"Try again." Pagmamatigas ko. Iniiwas ko ang paningin sa kanya ngunit agad din
namang ibinalik sa kanya ang
paningin nang magsalita siya sa isipin ko.
Trally am. That's why I can do this.
"You're scaring me." Napaatras ako ngunit hinawakan niya ang braso ko bago pa man
ako tuluyang makalaya
sa kanya. Nagsalita nga siya sa isipan ko. It wasn't my imagination before dahil
toloo nigang nasa isipan ko
lamang ang boses niya. Hearing his words in my head ust triple my tear. Nagsimulang
manginig ang kalamnan
ko.
"Huwag kang matakot."
"Paanong hindi ako matatakut? You just speak in my head!" I was beginning to become
hysterical. Posible
hanc may tao na kayang makipag-usap sayo sa pamamagitan ng isipan mo?
"Kung anghel kanpa, bakit... bakit palagi kang nakasuot ng itim?" Hello? Kahit
saang libro walang nagsasabi
nakasuot ng itim ang isang anghel. Demonyo. Domonyo ang madalas na nakaitim. Finc
not everything that
the book say is true pero hindi rin kapani-paniwalang anghel si Semper
'What's wrong with wearing black?" he asked. See? Hindi niya alam kaya niloloko
niyang lang ako. Anghel?
Pfft!
"Nasaan ang pakpak mo?" Definitely, angels have wings. White wings. Mula bata pa
ako, alam ko man puti
ang pakpak ng mga anghel lyon ang nakik ta ko sa poster kong prayer na My Guardian
Angel sa kwarto ko
noong bata pa ako. I memorized the prayer while staring at the angel.
"Technically you cannot see them but you've seen it. Alam kong nakita mo ang pakpak
ko kanina nang
iniligtas kita." His lips twisted into a smile but only on one side of his smile. A
mocking smile.
Pakpak niya iyon? But it was... "Itim ang pakpak na nakita ko. Nagsisinungaling ba
siya? Hindi kaya't isa
siyang demonyo sa halip na isang angheljust like what he claimed to be?
"Anges wings turn black when they leave heaven in an illegal way." mahinahon ang
pagpapaliwanag niya.
Nayayamot ang hitsura niya. Mukhang siya ang tipo na ayaw ng pagpapaliwanag. His
thorough explanation is
what I need dahil nakakapambobo ang s twasyon ko ngayon.
"Na exile sa langit oh, don't get me wrong okay? Hindi ibig sabihin nito ay
naniniwala na ako sa mga
pinagsasabi mo.' Nope. Definitely, hindi kapanipaniwala ang pinagsasabi niya.
Kwentong pambata. ama
freaking 15 years old. Stories of angols are stories that always have in bed when I
was 4 years old. Kahit ang
mga four years old ngayon ay mahirap nang papaniwalain na anghel ang ilang tao na
nakakasalamuha nila.
"I wasn't. I'
won a special miss on given by a special Power, my girlfriend Jophiel"
"Look, wala akong pakialam kung may power ang girlfriend mo okay?" Bakit ba
kailangan pa niyang sabihin
na may girlfriend siya? Edi wow, siya na ang may ovelife. He doesn't need to brag
about his girlfriend. Wait
does his girlfriend knows that he has a cocky attitude? At alam din ba ng
girlfriend niyang si Jophiel na may
sayad ang jowa niya ay kung anu-ano na lamang ang kanyang mga pinagsasabi?
"I mean.ophiel belongs to the choir of Power" He said it like I need some
explanation of what his girlfriend
does. No need. Wala akong paki.
"Edi singer na girlfriend mo!" Coo! Pab dancjowa! Siya na ang may power at bahagi
ng chair! Di ko nga binica
si Daven na magaling yun sumayaw at magbasketball! Mabait maalaga, hindi katulad
niya na masama ang
upali! Ang tanging pagkakatulad nila ni Daven ay parehas silang goodlooking. That
and only that. Sabagay.
hindi ko na naman jowa si Daven.
Pinalewala lamang ni Semper ang sinabi ko, "Powers are the last in the second
choir- the rank that angels are
divided and given different honors and duty. Sila ang nagpapanatili sa kaayusan
dito sa mundo. They guard
the Earth from demonic attacks and maintain safety in the borders. I'm an Angel,
ang panghuli sa pangatlo at
huling choir. The Powers secretly sent me to guard you.' Angel. Choirs. Powers.
WHATEVER. Saang kwento o
palabas ba nakita ni Semper ang pinagsasabi niya? Nasa tamang pag-iisip ba talaga
siya?
"Sabihin na nating totoo," wika ko. Well he kinda sound convincing enough, but not
enough to convince me,
Hindi ako uto-uto. "Why would they send you to guard me?" Wow, daig ko pa ang VIP
na may special
bodyguard.
"Sa papalapit na kapahamakan."
For a second thought he is really concern for my welfare. "Saang kapahamakan?"
"Fallen angel."
I let out a crunchy laugh. "Faller what?"
"Daven is a fallen angel."
"Isa na naman ba yang joke? Pwede na ba akong matawa?" pabalang na sagot ko. Pero
kung tutuosin, sa
kanilang dalawa, si Semper ang mukhang fallen angel at s Daven anmukhang anghel na
nakaduty. Si Daven
ang mabait at kung anu-ano pang mga qualities na maaaring nasa isang anghel. But
Semper? Nah.
"Hindi ito b ro Violet. That's why I am asking you to cooperate. This is something
unlawtul for an angel like me
but I accepted this for a reason. If the Dominations know about my ceparture. I
could be exiled from the
heaven! Gaya ng sabi ko, I only accepted this illegal mission for a reason. Gusto
kong mapabilang sa chorng
Power and at the same time, you will be safe and no fallen angel can possess your
physical existenco kaya
kailangan nating magtulungan." He sounded sincere, alright. Pero hindi pa ako
nawawala sa tamang katinuan
ko. Kung ano man ang mga pinagsasabi ni Semper, malamang ay pinagtripan lang niya
ako.
"Dominations, what?!"
Huminga siya ng malalim. 'Sila ang namumuno sa lahat ng angelic order. They
regulate the duties of the lower
angels," pinilit niyang maintincihan ko ang mga sinasabi niya pero hindi ko talaga
maintindihan. At mahirap
paniwalaan.
"Bakit naman mag-aalala ang awa mo kung sakaling mapahamak ako?"
He closed his eyes. He is obviously annoyed. With me. Well, the feeling is mutual!
Nakaka-annoy ang kung
anu-anong mga pinagsasabi niya! Anong akala niya sa akin, bata? Noong bata pa ako
ay naniniwala na ako na
kapag may kuto ka at dadami sila sa ulo mo, ililipad ka nila sa mga kawayan at doon
sisipsipin ng lahat ng
kuto ang dugo sa ulo mo
Noong bata pa ako, naniniwala ako na mapuputol ang daliri ko kapag tinuro ko ang
bahaghari Noong bata pa
ako, naniniwala ako na bawal map-nailcutter sa gabi at noong bata pa ako,
naniniwala ako na babangun putin
ako ng masama kapag hindi ako nakapag-pray sa paborito kong prayer na My Guardian
Angel at Our Father.
But I am old now. Old enough to know that lice cannot fly with me. Old enough to
know that nothing will
happen to your finger if you point on a rainbow. And when I grew older, I realized
that the elder forbids us to
cut our nails at night dahil sa panahon nila ay wala pang kuryente kaya
pinagbabawal ang mag-nailcutter sa
gabi. Pero ngayon ay maliwanag na dahil sa kuryente. I don't think the
superstitions are applicable nowadays.
At matanda na rin ako para lokohin ni Semper sa kung anu-anong mga pinagsasabi niya
ngayon.
"I told you, bahagi siya ng Power. They guard the Earth for demonic atta�"
"Yan napapala mo sa kaka-rugby mo!" I hissed at sinubukang lumayo sa kanya. But
something feels weird.
Kanina pa ako sumisigaw dito pero wala man lamang nag-abalang sumulyap sa gawi
namin. Pakiramdam ko
ay kami lamang ang naroon. There were other people but it seems that they don't
exist, or it's the other way.
Kami ang hindi nag-eexist sa paningin nila.
And all I can hear is Semper. Only Semper. "What are you doing? Bakit parang
kakaiba ang paligid?"
"I told you we are in a dimension that there's only the two of us," sagot niya,
wala man lamang himig ng
pagbibiro.
"Pwede ba itigil mo nga ito! I will prove to you that Daven is not what you think
he is!" Kinakabahan ako. What
if he will hurt me in this dimension?
"Iyan din ang nais kong patunayan sa iyo." His lips form a pirate smile, and I hate
it. He snapped his fingers
and then everything went back to normal. Maingay ang university. I can hear the
noise of the bouncing ball
from the nearby gym. I can hear chatters as well as the noise of the cars around.
And before I know it, his back was already facing me as he walked away. Damn, the
part of walking away was
supposed to be mine.
#

Chapter 11: Daven

"Gurl"
Hindi ko pinansin ang pangangalabit sa akin ni Nikki. My mind is filled with a lot
of things at sa dami ng iniisip
ko ay hindi ko na alam kung ano ang mga iyon.
"Ateng
Still, hindi ko pinansin ang si Nikki pero nang hinawakan na niya ang mukha ko at
ipinaharap sa kanya ay hind
na ako nakapalag.
"What?" With my raised brow, she will definitely know that I am annoyed.
"Haba ng hair!" kinikilig na bulong niya. And I know why. And it's annoying!
Nakakainis na nga, dumagdag pa
si Nikki.
Why?
Because Semper is acting like a jerk. A jerk na walang ibang magawa sa buhay kundi
ang bwesitin ako. Hindi
ko alam kung ilan ang katol na nasinghot niya ngayon. All I know is that he is
acting different. Kung dati ay
seryoso ang mukha niya at tahimik, ngayon naman... Well, seryoso pa rin naman ang
mukha niya. Magulo nga
lang siya at panay ang pangungulit sa akin! Like duh, hindi kami close pero
kinakausap niya ako.
"Violet, let's get some coffee some other time."
"Violet, sumabay ka na lang sa akin kapag uuwi ka na."
"Violet, remember what I told you."
Umayos ako ng pagkakaupo at sinamaan ng tingin si Nikki sa gilid ko at maging sí
Semper na nasa likuran ko. l
sat straightly nang pumasok naman ang grupo nina Daven. Naunang pumasok si Silver,
kasunod naman si
Errol at panghuli naman si Daven. My looks drop on the floor habang dinadama ko ang
pagtibok ng puso ko.
Daven always give me this effect. Daven. Just him.
They sat on their usual spot, on the side where I can freely view the other side of
his face. Naalala kaya niya
ang nangyari sa bar? Epekto nga lang ba iyon ng pagkalasing niya. A part of me
wished that he really mean it
while a part says that the alcohol is responsible for it.
Habang hinihintay namin na pumasok si Sir Neo ay nakayuko lamang ako. I can feel
Semper's glare from my
behind at si Nikki na ano mang oras ay handang tuksuhin ako. Just then a hand put a
folded paper in the arm
of my chair.
"What-"Ang tangka kong pagsasalita ay natigil nang makita si Daven na tiningnan ang
papel. He signalled his
lips on the paper at nagpalipat-lipat ang tingin ko sa kanya at sa papel. "P-para
sa akin?" | looked stupid
pointing to myself.
Marahas na tumayo si Semper sa upuan niya sa likuran ko at tinangkang abutin ang
papel na nasa harapan ko.
My head bumped his stomach at napaisip tuloy ako kung may abs ba siya. Ngunit sa
gulat ko ay sumabay din
pala si Nikki sa pag-abot! I was also quick in protecting the paper too samantalang
tinangka namang bawiin ni
Daven ang papel nang makita sina Semper at Nikki. Ang nangyari tuloy ay apat kaming
nag-agawan sa
kawawang papel. Good thing the first one to hold it was the recipient of the paper.
"Ano ba? I hissed at them. Bumalik naman silang tatlo sa kanya-kanyang pwesto.
Semper's chair made a
noise when he sat back, while Daven was sweating at todo ngisi naman si Nikki.
Whatever is in this paper, I'm
sure it's only for me. I slipped the paper in my bag nang bumukas ang pinto at
pumasok na si Sir Neo. Mamaya
ko na lang ito babasahin.
Nang mag-dismiss ay agad akong tumakbo sa CR. Doon ko babasahin ang note na
inilagay ni Daven. Doon
dahil walang asungot. I locked myself inside a cubicle and find the paper in my
bag.
Hindi ko alam kung bakit excited ako na buksan iyon. Isa lang ang naiisip kong
sagot-dahil galing iyon kay
Daven. Nakapikit ang isang mata habang dahan-dahan ko iyong binuklat.Meet me later
at
Hindi ko natapos ang pagbabasa nang bigla na lamang may humablot sa papel at
pagkatapos ay inihulog iyon
sa toilet bowl kasabay ng pagpindot sa flush. My eyes widened as it followed the
paper moving in the direction
of the water to the bottom of the bowl hanggang sa tuluyan na iyong maglaho."What
the-" Bigla akong napasigaw nang makita si Semper. But I thought I locked the door
and when
checked, I really did. Nakatayo lang siya sa harap ko, closer to me because the
cubicle is small. His eyes were
triumphant, his lips tilted to one side to forma mocking smirk.
"Ano ba ang ginagawa mo rito?" llang segundo din bago ako kumalma. Saan siya
dumaan? Sa ilalim ng pinto?
Mag-eeffort kang gumapang sa sahig kung dadaan ka sa pinto. And this is the
female's CRI No matter how
look at it, the door's lock and I didn't notice anyone opening it
'Doing the right thing," he said. His eyes went down to the toilet bowl where the
small paper disappeared a
while ago.
Baka para maging KJ! Ganoon dapat sinagot niya. He just flushed the small paper
that was my source of
happiness few moments ago. Hindi man lamang niya ako pinatapos sa pagbabasa! At
kahit tapos ko nang
basahin iyon, hindi niya sana iyon ginawa dahil hindi naman iyon para sa kanyal
"Right thing? Tama bang pumasok sa CR ng babae? And where the hell did you-"
"Stop talking about hell because you might not like it there. Simple lamang ang
pagkakasabi niya ngunit
napaisip ako doon. Right, I'm afraid of hell.
"Saan ka ba dumaan? May sanmaligno ka talaga ano?"
"Hindi ka pa rin ba naniniwala sa akin?"
"Na anghel ka? Sus, 21lst century na. Tanga lang ang magpapaniwala doon," I gave
him a scowl upang ipakita
sa kanya na hindi ako nagpapaniwala sa kanya. Pero paano nga ba siya nakapasok dito
?I was scared with him
but I tried to look more annoyed than scared. Mahirap na baka mas lalo niya lang
akong takutin.
"Are you going?" He asked.
'Going where?" His answer was a simple glance at the toilet bowl. Ah, 'yun ba?
"Paano ako pupunta eh hindi
ko pa nga nababasa at ini-flush mo na yung papell"
"Good then."
Good daw? Gudgurin ko ang mukha niya eh! "Anong good doon?"
"Hindi mo man makita ang ibig kong iparating ngayon, time will come that you will
thank me for that"
"That will never happen! Nakakainis ka, alam mo ba?" Ngayon lang yata ako sobrang
nainis sa isang tao
taong nagki-claim na anghel. Tsk. I'm annoyed with Iradessa and her minions ngunit
sukdulan ang lebel ng
pagkainis ko kay Semper
"No. They say I'm the most lovable angel."
"You' re not lovable and you're not an angell" Singhal ko sa kanya. I can feel my
face becoming red. To my
surprise, Semper took one step closer and cupped my face using his right hand. His
hand was warm as it
carefully caressed my face. He was staring straight at me at nagdulot iyon ng
kakaibang sensasyon sa akin.
"Your face is red," simpleng wika niya habang ang kanyang mga mata ay maingat na
sinusuri ang bawat sulok
ng mukha ko.
Nanlaki ang mga mata ko at walang maisip na tama ang utak ko. Nakakapambobo ang
sitwasyon na ito. Hakot
award ako noong elementary ako, hindi naman sa pagyayabang pero totoo iyon. Noong
grade school naman
ay gumraduate ako na valedictorian. The same goes on High School. Kapag may
nagagawa din ako dati ay ako
na ang may pinakasolidong alibi but now... Now my mind cannot think of anything to
answer him! Bakit nga
ba ako namumula?!
"A-allergic kasi ako sa junk food. Naparami yata ang kinain ko." What? Whoah. Lie.
Tingnan niyo ang basurahan
sa kwarto ko, puro packaging the junk food ang nandoon."Really? Pero palagi kitang
nakikitang kumakain ngjunkfood sa canteen." His hands continued touching my
face, his face looks so damn serious. I wonder why I cannot pul myself from him.
Siguro dahil masikip dito?
(Sinong niloloko ko?)
Think Violet! Think! "Ah! Ano pala, sa... sa init. Tama, sa init ng panahon."
Hopefully this alibi comes out well
Or not.
"Umuulan sa labas."
Sinasabi ko na nga ba. Nasaan na ngayon ang pinagyayabang kong talino? Kaya ko pa
yatang sumagot ng
impromptu kung tatanungin ako ng mga quadratic equations kaysa sa tanong ni Semper
eh! And why the hel
-forget the H word. At bakit naman kasi walang konsiderasyon si Semper? That
question is unanswerablel
I let out some air as I tried to compose myself. Damn, his messy hair is making me
feel uncomfortablel And his
hands! I slapped his hands to detach it from touching my face. Few minutes late, I
guess. "Eh sa naiinitan ako!"
God, can he just let go of it?
"I thought you are swayed." Ibinaba niya ang kanyang kamay.
"Swayed?
"Hmm."It was a simple sound he produce upang maipahayag ang kanyang oo pero sa
pandinig ko ay parang
napakasensual ng tunog na iyon. And it was kind of.. sexy.
Pero ano? Ako? l'm swayed? For what? "Swayed for what?"
"This" Gumala sa apat na sulok ng maliit na cubicle ang mga mata niya.
"This what?"
"This situation. My presence. And this little distance between us." I swear I saw
his mouth did a half smile. Para
saan naman iyon?
T let out a mocking laugh. "You are annoying me.
"I have a feeling that you like it." Damn, stop that smile Semper. It was not a
friendly smile. Not even close to a
friendly one. Humakbang siya palapit sa akin samantalang napaatras naman ako. Isang
hakbang lamang at
dingding na ang likuran ko samantalang isang hakbang nalang din at magkadikit na
ang katawan namin.
"Alam mo bang kasali ako sa taekwondo club noong high school ako?" Another lie.
Well I tried to join pero
nang nakita ko ang isang member na natanggalan ng ngipin, I decided not to.
"I don't know. I'm not your guardian.
"Try getting closer. Tutuhurin ko ang ano mo."I doubt of I can move my knees now.
Mukhang nanigas ako dito.
"My what?"
Oh Semper. A little consideration please. Can you leave that word that way? "Stop
it!" Mas humakbang siya
papalapit sa akin kaya ginamit ko ang nga kamay ko upang itulak siya sa dibdib.
Pero hinuli niya ang mga
kamay ko. Hinuli niya ang mga kamay kong nakahawak sa dibdib niya. With my hands
pressed on his chest, I
heard a loud beating which was-mine?
Tama. Sa akin ang mga kabog na iyon. Dahil hindi ko maramdaman ang tibok nig puso
ni Semper. Nanlaki ang
mga mata ko at pinilit na hinanap ang kabog ng kanyang dibdib. My hands continue to
wander around his
chest, kulang na lamang ay ilagay ko ang tainga ko sa dibdib niya.
-Ht's not beating Mas lalo pa lamang gumulo ang utak ko. Damn this man-no. Hindi
siya tao.
"It is. Hindi nga lamang katulad ng sa inyo. I told you l'm not human." Nang makita
niyang babanat sana ako
ay patuloy siyang nagsalita. "Unlike yours. Napakalakas ng kabog ng dibdib mo.
Bakit kaya?" He lowered his
head to level mine.Tclosed my eyes to control my temper ngunit nang binuksan ko ang
mga mata ay wala na si Semper sa
harapan ko. And when I checked, the doors still locked.
Oh no, should I believe him this time?
**
Nakakalat sa mesa ang study notes ko. Wala naman akong quiz bukas pero nakaugalian
ko na ang pag-aaral
tuwing gabi. Alas dyes na pero hindi pa rin ako natutulog. Hindi ko rin masasabi na
nag-aaral ako ngayon.
Nakakalat lang sa mesa ang mga notes ko pero hindi naman pumasok sa isipan ko ang
mga laman ng notes.
Nasa maliit na papel ang isipan ko. Maliit na papel na walang gatol na ini-flush ní
Semper sa toilet bowl.
Hanggang ngayon ay nanggigil ako sa tuwing naiisip ko ang ginawa niya! Kaasar
talaga ang lalaking iyon!
Naagaw ang paghihimutok ko nang may narinig akong katok sa bintana.
Ha? Sa bintana? Nang ibinaling ko ang paningin doon ay may tao nga roon. Halos
mapasigaw ako ngunit nang
mapagtantong si Daven iyon ay napakurap ako at ilang beses na kinusot ko ang mga
mata ko. I'm not
dreaming, am 1?
jumped out of my chair and hurried towards the window. Binuksan ko iyon at hindi
nga ako namamalikmata,
it was Daven.
Hindi kataasan ang bintana sa kwarto ko pero medyo mataas na rin iyon. Hindi ko
alam kung ano ang nakain
niya at inakyat niya iyon. Mapagkakamalan siyang magnanakaw sakaling makita siya ng
mga nagrorondang
security ng subdivision.
"Anong ginagawa mo diyan?" I asked sounding worried than surprise. Baka malaglag pa
siya doon, mahirap
na. Right below my window ay mga tanim na rosas. Double kill siya kapag nagkataon.
"Nangangawit na ako. Hindi mo ba ako papapasukin?" He asked, his face reflecting
his struggle. Sa katunayan
ay natatakam akong papasukin siya pero nagtatalo ang kalooban ko. I can hear
Daddy's words. Nang
magkaroon ako ng sariling kwarto ay madalas niyang sinasabi na: "Violet, wag na wag
mong hahayang may
pumasok sa silid mo, okay? This is your personal space." Isa akong masunuring anak
kaya kahit taga-linis ay
hindi ko pinapapasok. Ako lang ang naglilinis ng silid ko. Nang nagkaroon ako ng
mga kaibigan ay nalimutan
ko ang bilin na iyon. I let some friends enter my room at doon kami naglalaro dati.
When I got my first
menstruation, amended na ang batas na sinabi sa akin ni Daddy. He used to say:
"Violet, dahil dalaga ka na,
huwag na huwag kang magpapasok ng kahit sino mang lalaki sa silid mo. That is your
personal space"
And until now, I live with that law. Walang lalaking papasok sa silid ko. Wel, si
Daddy nakakapasok but only if
sira ang gripo o ilaw ko. O kung may ano mang dapat kumpunihin. Nang lumaki na ako
ay wala na kaming
katulong kaya hanggang ngayon ay ako pa rin ang naglilinis sa silid ko.
"No," I said to Daven na ikinagulat niya. "I mean lalabas ako." Hindi ko na
hinintay ang sagot niya at muling
isinara ang bintana. I dashed towards the door at dahan-dahang naglakad sa pasilyo
pababa ng hagdan.
Walang tao sa sala kaya malamang ay namamahinga na sina Mommy at Daddy at maging si
Lav.
Lumabas ako ng bahay at pumunta sa bahagi kung nasaan ang bintana ng kwarto ko. I
saw Daven down on
the bushes of rose, his hands were picking up pebbles and throwing it on air and
catching it back. Nang
namataan niya ako ay tinapon niya ang bato at bahagyang pinagpag ang kamay sa
kanyang suot na pantalon.
"Anong ginaga" Hindi ko natapos ang sasabihin ko dahil bigla na lamang niya akong
hinila palapit sa kanya.
He slammed me to his body with his hands on my waist. He lowered his head and
buried his face on my hair.
Thank GodI just had shower.
"You didn't show up," wika niya, still his face on my hair. "Naghintay ako ng
dalawang oras.
"Saan?
"I told you to meet me after class sa gym, wika niya, pressing me more on his body.
Ah, sa gym pala. Bwesit
kasi si Semper! But at some point, I am thankful. Kung hindi niya ini-flush ang
papel, malamang ay hindi ako
nayakap ni Daven ng ganito. Hindi niya ako yayakapin sa gym dahil maraming
nakatingin. Isa pa ay nakakalat
ang mga minions ni Ira. Daig pa kaya nila ang agila sa talas ng paningin nila."N-
nakalimutan ko," sagot ko sa kanya. Ayaw kong sabihin sa kanya na dahil kay Semper,
baka magkagulo pa
sila. Knowing that Semper isn't human, dehado si Daven. Tiningala ko si Daven.
Napakatangkad niya kaya
naman siya ang starplayer ng AU Panthers, ang basketball varsity ng Athena
University.
"Violet, please." Please what? His eyes look so worried. "Please wag kang
makikipagkaibigan kay Semper"
Okay, here we go again. What's the deal with these two?
break free from his embrace. "Hindi ko maintindihan. Bakit naman?" Alright, wala
naman talaga akong balak
makipagkaibigan kay Semper, nagtataka lamang ako kung bakit ganoon siya kay Semper
and vice versa. Baka
naman nasangkot sila sa isang gang fight at pinagti-tripan nila ako. Pero gang? Si
Semper posible, pero si
Daven? Malabo.
"Just don't. Can you do it for me?" Nagsusumamo ang mga mata niya. He really has
soulful eyes, unlike
Semper's na walang kabuhay-buhay. Wait, where did that comparison come from?
Malabong ikumpara si
Semper at Daven. Kung mathematics pa cannot be o di kaya ay null. Para ko lamang
kinumpara ang fried
chicken sa pritong galunggong and yeah, si Semper ang galunggong
'Sa tingin ko ay kailangan kong malaman kung bakit." My voice is firm, gusto kong
malaman ang rason ni
Daven. I heard Semper's reason, but I don't believe it. Hindi fallen angel si
Daven. Tsk!
Huminga siya nang malalim at pilit tinantiya ang sitwasyon. In the end, he decided
to speak up. "Hindi siya
tao." Okay, alam ko na yan. "Isa siyang..I don't know ifyou will believe this."
'Susubukan ko."
"Isa siyang masamang anghel." Daven said it despite his unsureness if l will
believe him or not. And he said
Semper is an angel. Ito na ba ang kumpirmasyon ko sa sinasabi sa akin ni Semper na
isa siyang anghel? And
what's with the adjective?
Bumalik ang tila kakaibang pakiramdam na naramdaman ko kaninang hapon sa CR kasama
si Semper. Kung
isa nga siyang anghel.. Argh! This is driving me insane
"Paano mo naman nasabi?" I asked. Sa isang bahagi ng utak ko ay naririnig ko pa ang
habilin ni Semper sa
akin tungkol kay Daven. Isa nga ba siyang fallen angel?
"Hindi na iyan importante" sagot niya. He moves closer to me and I scooted on the
side, maintaininga
distance between the two of us. Considerable distance.
"How about you? Ano ka Daven? Tanong ko sa kanya. Ngayon ay nalilito na ako kung
sino sa kanila ang dapat
kong paniwalaan. "Katulad ka rin ba niya?"
I saw him swallowed a lump in his throat. Nag-aatubiling umiling siya. "Hindi. You
can trust me on this"
"How can Itrust the person who broke my heart?" Biglang nanginit ang gilid ng mga
mata ko. I tried fanning
myself using my palm to prevent the tears from falling. I successfully did.
Nakita ko ang reaksyon ni Daven. He was hurting too, gaya ko. "It's for the
better:"
Better? Wow. I tried harder to hold back. Konting-konti na lang at malalaglag na
ang mga luha ko.
"Violet... Sinubukan niyang abutin ako pero umatras ako. Tama na. Tama na ang
sakit. "Hindi mo alam ang
paghihirap ng kalooban ko."
How can breaking up my heart be for the better?!
Konting-konti na lang din ay maniniwala na ako sa kanya. His eyes look sincere like
he means what he is
saying. I slowly took a step towards him, gusto ko kasi siyang yakapin. Ngunit
napatigil ako nang tumunog ang
cellphone niya. When he got it from his pocket, I saw that it was Iradessa who was
calling. Agad naman iyong
sinagot ni Daven kahit nasa harapan niya ako.
"Ira..." He stopped and listened for a while. "Papunta na ako." Nang pinatay niya
ang cellphone ay muli niya
akong hinarap. "Kai-"I cut him off."Good night Daven," wika ko sa kanya at
tumalikod. Umaagos ang mga luhang tinungo ko ang front door ng
bahay at hindi na nag-abalang lumingon pa.
Chapter 12: Angels Get Sick Too
Muli kong ibinaba ang mukha at sinadyang takpan iyon ng dala kong libro. Daig ko pa
ang spy dahil sa
ginagawa ko. Inayos ko ang suot na dark glasses at muling inilibot ang paningin sa
kabuoan ng library. Clear.
"Anong problema mo? Bulag ka ba?" Nikki asked, pinupuna ang suot kong dark glasses.
"Ay hindi, may
pinagtataguan ka."
"Ano ka ba, fashion "to!"No. Hinding-hindi ko aaminin sa kanya na mugto ang mga
mata ko. Umiyak lang
naman ako ng tatlong tabo dahil kay Daven. How could he come to me, talk to me like
he cares for me and
then suddenly ay aalis agad ito pagkat tinawagan ni lradessa?!
Nikki rolled the thin book she's holding at mahinang sinapak ako. "Fashion ka
diyan! Ibagay mo sa panahon,
bumabagyo bes."
Irolled my eyes but somewhat she's right. Madalas ngang umulan kaya hindi bumagay
ang sunglasses fashion
ko. But still, I will hold my ground. "At least magiging trendsetter ako."
"Trendsetter ka diyan! Dapat goggles sinusuot mo! Babaha na mayamaya." She pulled
the book out of my face
at hinarap ako. "Sabihin mo nga sa akin sinong iniiwasan mo, si Daven o si Semper?"
Actually, it's all of the above. Iniiwasan ko silang dalawa. None of them is good
for me. Kinumpira ni Daven ang
tungkol kay Semper. Kahit mahirap paniwalaan, alam kong hindi nagbibiro ng ganoon
si Daven.
"Teka, gerl. Ano ba ang laman ng sulat ni Daven sal'yo?" pakikiusyoso ni Nikki.
Argh! l erased the paper from
my memory pero pinaalala pa niya. Sana ay hinayaan na lamang niyang manatili itong
tahimik sa imburnal
ngayon.
"Ewan.
"Ang arte. Ayaw mag-share," Nikki snorted at muli akong pinilit.
"Nikks, kalimutan mo na lang iyon, pwede?" Ayaw kong maalala iyon. Ayaw kong
maalala si Daven. Ayaw kong
maalala si Semper. "Huwag na nating pag-usapan ang papel, si Daven at kahit si
Semper"
"Bakit nasali ako?"
Pareho kaming nagulat ni Nikki nang magsalita si Semper mula sa gilid namin. I
don't know how he got there
pero hindi ko na iyon ipagtataka. He moves stealthily as a cat!
"Cheesus Fries!" Biglang sambit ni Nikki na napahawaksa kanyang dibdib. "Ano ka ba
Semper! Papatayin mo
ba kami sa gulat?"
"Sorry" he said and smiled at Nikki. Teka sandali, tama ba ang nakita ko? Ngumiti
si Semper? Ngiti as in ngiti
talaga?! Not his half-smile, not his smirk and not his mocking lip twist but a
genuine smile?! Oh no, Doom's
Day na ba? I swear I saw him smile even if l am wearing my dark glasses.
"Okay lang, ikaw Violet, okay ka lang ba?" Nag-aalalang tanong ni Nikki sa akin. I
don't know what's wrong
with me andl only realize na nakabukas pala ang bibig ko nang hinawakan ni Semper
ang baba ko. His right
hand held my jaw and the other held my head and pressed them together.
Semper turned to Nikki. "Can I talk to your friend? For a while?
"Syempre!" Tumayo si Nikki at gusto ko sanang sumigaw na wag niya akong iwan kasama
si Semper but I
can't. Nasa library ako. Golden rule? OBSERVE SILENCE. Umupo si Semper sa tabi ko,
he moved his chair
upang nakaharap iyon sa akin sa halip na nakaharap sa mesa. His knees bumped the
side of my legs.
Nanatili lang siya sa ganoong posisyon. Nagkunwari naman akong nagbabasa but I was
reading the same
sentence over and over again. Hanggang sa hindi ako makatis. I hate being assessed,
physically. I gently put
the book on my lap. I'm completely aware of my exposed legs. Bakit ngayon ko pa
naisipang magpalda?
"Ano ba ang kailangan mo?
"Nice glasses" wika niya, he snapped his fingers near my glasses and I almost move
my chair. What now?
Nandito lang ba siya para punahin ang dark glasses ko?"Trip mo? Mura lang'to,
bumili ka sa mall," pabalang kong sagot sa kanya. I maintained my eyes across the
library, pilit na iniwasang mapabaling ang paningin ko sa direksyon niya.
"Not the shades."
Pilit ko siyang inignora. But damn, what's his perfume? I can smell it, along with
a scent that was so manly. Tila
may kamay ang amoy niya na pilit kinukuha ang atensyon ng ilong ko.
Did you go to see Daven?
His mind speaking was the reason why I turned my eyes to him. "Pwede bang wag mo
akong ginugulat sa-"|
stopped my mouth before I say it. Mahirap na at baka may may makarinig sa amin at
isiping nababaliw na ako.
Sa ginagawa mong iyan
"Just answer me."
"Hindi." Sagot ko. Hindi ako ang pumunta kay Daven diba?
"Liar."
Ano 'to? Tatanung-tanong siya at kapag sinagot ko ng maayos eh sasabihing
sinungaling ako! Edi siya na lang
magsalita, ako ang makikinig.
"Siya ang pumunta sa akin." That's completely different from what he asked.
His jaw stiffened. He stared at me for a while na para bang tinatantya niya kung
nagsasabi ba ako ng totoo o
hindi. lang saglit lamang ay mas lumapit siya sa akin. His hand reached for my
sunglasses at huli na nang
maitago ko ang mugtong mata ko.
"And I thought you have sore eyes.
"Oo meron, mahawa ka sana!" Sinubukan kong bawin mula sa kanya ang sunglasses pero
nailayo na niya
iyon sa akin. At hindi na ako nag-abalang bawiin pa iyon. Ayoko ngang dumampi ang
kahit anong bahagi ng
katawan ko sa katawan niya.
Nagulat na lang ako nang ibinaba niya ang mukha niya sa mukha. He's not going to
kiss me okay? He is
examining my eyes. Nakahawak siya sa baba ko, his eyes were fixed on the bulge in
my both eyes.
"Your eye bags seem heavy, walang himig na pagbibiro na wika niya. Sinubukan kong
tabigin ang kamay
niyang nakahawak sa mukha ko ngunit pinigil niya ang kamay ko gamit ang isang kamay
niya. Heavy? Obvious
ba? "Did you cry?"
"N-nasobrahan ako sa tulog," nauutal na sagot ko.
"But you look sleepy." His eyes were still on me, his thumb caressed the skin below
my eyes.
This time ay nagawa ko na ring tabigin ang kamay niya. Muli kong pinulot ang libro
at ipinangtakip iyon sa
mukha ko. I'm such a mess right now.
"Tsaka ano bang inaarte mo diyan? Close ba tayo?" We're not close and will never
be! Itaga pa sa bato at
tagain pa siya!
"I think we should be." He nods his head like it was a suggestion that he gladly
accepts
"Ano ka, sinuswerte?
"Dapat ay matuwa ka na kaibiganin kita. ľ'm the angel of-"
"Huwag mong ituloy yang sasabihin mo okay? Ayaw kong marinig kung anong anghel ka
pa! For sure ikaw ang
angel of death!"
"Am not. Azrael is the angel of death," pasimpleng wika niya. He crossed his arms,
his knees bumped on the
side of my legs again. "I'm the angel of"
"Sabi nang ayokong malaman kung saang kulto ka!" His face wrinkled for a while.
Napalakas yata ang boses
ko dahil napatingin ang mga estudyante sa gawi namin. Pagalit na sumipol naman ang
librarian.Faithfulness. I'm the angel of faithfulness.
Pagkatapos niyang magsalita sa isipan ko ay tumayo niya siya at nag-salute pa bago
umalis.
**
Malakas pa rin ang ulan pero sa pagkakataong ito ay nakahanda na ako. I made sure
to bring along my
umbrella. Palabas na sana ako ng campus nang namataan ko ang isang pigura na
nakatayo sa gitna ng field.
His back was facing me pero dahil sa suot niya ay alam kong si Semper iyon.
Nakatampisaw siya sa ulan at
nakatingala. Wow. Gumagawa ba siya ng music video sa ilalim ng ulan?
Nagpasya akong umalis na lamang ngunit nakatatlong hakbang pa lamang ako ay
napatigil ako. I let out some
air from my lungs at muling tiningnan si Semper. Hindi pa rin nagbabago ang
posisyon niya. I walked my way
toward him at itinapat ang payong sa nakatingalang mukha niya. Nakuha ko naman ang
atensyon niya. He
lowered his head to look at me. The rainwater was dripping down his face. His lips
were red, maybe because of
the coldness.
"Anong problema mo... oy? Ayokong magtunog tsismosa pero awkward naman kung wala
akong sasabihin
gayong nilapitan ko siya, 'di ba?
Muli ay tumingala siya pero saglit lamang. I saw a flicker of sadness in his eyes.
"It's a hard time for angels
now. Malamang may pinoproblema sila"
You mean the rain?"
"No, the storm."
"Ah." Hindi ko alam kung dapat ba akong maniwala. "Akala ko si Goblin ang dahilan
kung bakit umuulan."
Napakunot ang noo niya. "Sino si Goblin?"
Isuppressed the smile that was about to emerge from my lips. "Wala. Kalimutan mo na
iyon. Bakit ka ba
nagpapaulan?" Not that I'm concern. Kahit magdamag pa siyang magpaulan doon, wala
akong pake.
"T'm thinking. Jophiel must be lonely right now." He said and again, he took a
glimpse of the gray sky, not
minding the rainfall on his eyes. Ah, his girlfriend na may power. Baka kili-kili
power. At bahagi ng choir. Edi
siya na.
"Umuwi ka na." Hindi na ako nagpaalam at humakbang na patalikod.
Violet."
Napatigil ako sa paghakbang nang marinig kong tinawag niya ang pangalan ko.
Lumingon ako sa kanya at sa
pagkakataong ito ay siya naman ang humakbang papalapit sa akin. Nang isang hakbang
na lamang ang layo
namin ay napansin ko ang mga mapupungay niyang mga mata. His lips were shaking too
and before I knew it,
he collapsed on my shoulders. His face pressed on my neck. Nabitawan ko ang dalang
payong at
natatarantang inayos siya. When I touched his face, he was hot.
Great, angels get sick too, right?
Kahit sa hinagap ay hindi ko pinangarap na maging nurse. I hate surgery and blood.
Saludo ako sa mga taong
nasa medical field, biruin mo nasisikmura nila ang mga bagay na hindi ko man lamang
kayang tingnan ng
ilang segundo.
I never dream of being a caregiver too. Ayokong mag-alaga, gusto ko na ako ang
inaalagaan. These two are my
most hated job to do but what can I do? Naging instant nurse slash caregiver lang
naman ako. Pagkatapos
himatayin ni Semper- actually, hindi siya hinimatay. Nanghina. Nanghina lang naman
siya kaya ganoon. Nang
tinangka kong humingi ng tulong, he refused and said na ako na lamang daw ang
umalalay sa kanya papasok
sa kanyang kotse. Kinakalawang na kotse. Ops, sorry.
"Please, don't" Tila nanghihingalo niyang wika. Pareho na kaming nababasa ng ulan,
mas basa nga lang siya
kasi kanina pa siya dito.
Anong gagawin ko?""Bring me home." Wait, bakit parang naging napakalamig niya?
"Hindi ka pwede sa bahay!"No! Mapapatay ako ng mga magulang ko kung magdadala ako
ng kung sino sa
bahay namin.
"Ang ibig kong sabihin ay sa bahay ko," he said, trying to stand on his own.
"Marunong ka bang magmaneho?"
"Oo-I mean hindi. I'm still working on it!" Dad gave me driving lessons on his own
pero minsan lamang dahil
nga abala siya. He didn't say I already pass so I assume na kulang pa ang mga
nalalaman ko.
"Alam mo ba kung paano -start ang sasakyan?
"Oo, basic iyan-" He cut me off.
"Eh magpreno?"
"Yes and"
"Then good. Let's go," wika niya sa akin. He took a step slowly kaya bago pa man
pumroseso sa utak ko ang
mga sinabi niya ay akay-akay ko na siya papunta sa sasakyan. Akala ko ay motorsiklo
lamang ang meron siya
but he has a car. Right it was a car.
Even if it looks old, it's still a car. Maybe this is what we call a vintage car.
Even if it looks rusty, it's still a car.
Kailangan ko lamang mag-ingat dahil baka matetanu ako kung sakaling masugatan ako
ng kotse niya. This is
the same car nearby nang sinabi niya sa akin na anghel ako.
"Pwede bang maglakad na lang tayo kahit umuulan? Or pumara na lamang tayo ng taxi,"
suhestiyon ko. The
car is obviously Semper-inspired. It looks dangerous.
"Why?" His hands still held the door of his old rusty car.
"Sa tingin ko ay hindi ko kayang manatili ng matagal sa loob ng sasakyang iyan,"
wika ko sa kanya.
Nakakatakot ang sumakay sa sasakyan niya plus the fact na siya ang kasama ko.
His lips were shaking kaya malamang ay kanina pa siya giniginaw. Fine! May
magandang asal pa rin namar
ako at dahil naaawa na ako sa sitwasyon niya, sumakay na rin ako sa loob ng kotse.
He sat on the passenger
seat with his head on the closed window. Wala siyang pakialam kung mabasa man ang
upuan ng sasakyan.
"Mukhang sira-"I froze when the glove compartment's lid was detached. Semper leaned
near me and closed it
with a force. Pinilit ko ang sariling ngumiti at hinigit ang seatbelt ngunit wala
akong makita. I searched on the
side but stilll found nothing.
"There's no seatbelt." Tila nanghihina na si Semper base sa boses niya.
"Yeah. I figure that one out," wika ko sa kanya at sumandal ngunit bigla na lamang
akong napasigaw nang
diretso akong napahiga pagsandal ko. Semper pressed something and the car's seat
was now fine. Nakatayo
na ito gaya kanina. "Ano bang problema ng kotse mo"
"Just drive.. Please.." Isinandal niya ang kanyang ulo at tuluyang pumikit.
"Hindi nga ako marunong magmaneho!" Actually, I want to say ang panget ng kotse
niya. Baka mas lalo pa
iyong kalawangin sa ulan. Baka matanggal ang manibela! Baka walang preno! Baka
hindi kakayanin ang daan!
Basta! Napakaraming dahilan na kinatatakutan ko.
"This is a special car" wika niya nang napansin ang mukha kong nakaismid habang
nakatingin sa kotse. Kung
tatanungin ako aling sasakyan ang pipilin kong susundo sa akin, l'd rather chose a
backhoe than this. "An
angel who's now living as a human gave me
"Oo na"Iscowled at him when he said angels. Mahirap mang paniwalaan pero mukhang
nasasanay na yata
ang sarili ko sa ganoon. Sa paniniwala sa kanya na isa nga siyang anghel. I started
the car and thankfully it
started normally. Tinanong ko si Semper kung saan ang bahay niya and he gave me an
address with his eyes
closed. Tahimik lang siya sa buong durasyon ng pagmamaneho ko.Nang dumating kami sa
harap ng kanyang apartment ay agad na bumaba si Semper ngunit pinigilan ko siya.
"May gamot ka ba?" tanong ko sa kanya. Bahagyang kumunot ang noo niya at saglit
siyang nag-isip.
"I don't think l'll need that"
"Syempre may sakit ka kaya kailangan mo ng gamot." Ihiabot ko ang bag ko na nasa
likuran. Girl Scout ako
kaya nay maliit na pouch ako na gamot sa kung anu-ano akong dala. Hindi ko alam
kung natatablan sila ng
gamot but since has human existence, sa tingin ko ay natatablan nga.
Isorted the necessary medicines at inilagay iyon sa kanyang palad. "Kumain ka ng
mainit at magbihis ka ng
tuyong damit"
"Hindi ka papasok kasama ko?" He asked like he was surprise. Papasok? Hello, ano
siya sinuswerte?! Baka
nakahanda na roon ang lahat ng gamit niya sa ritwal. Who knows this is just an act
upang maisama niya ako sa
lungga niya at gawing female offering ng kulto niya. Nol! No! No!
"Hindi.
"Why?"
"Una sa lahat, babae ako. Pangalawa, ayaw ko dahil baka gawin mo akong sacrifice.
Pangatlo, hindi tayo close.
Pang-apat wala akong tiwala sa 'yo. Panglima, hindi ka tao. Gusto mo bang
ipagpatuloy ko pa ang sangkatutak
na dahilan kung bakit hindi ako sasama sa iyo sa loob?" I crossed my arms habang
nakatingin sa kanya na
nakatanga lamang sa akin.
"Fine. Thanks for driving me here," sagot niya. His eyes started to become drowsy,
his lips were so red and
shaking.
"Hindi ako tumatanggap ng thank you, utang to na kailangan mong bayaran."I reached
for my phone and
made a note of Semper's debt. I saw him scowled at hindi ko na hinintay na sumagot
siya. Lumabas na ako ng
kotse at agad na tumawag ng taxi. Well, at least now | know where he lives- isa sa
bagay na nais kong malaman
tungkol sa kanya.

Chapter 13: They Trust You

Habang lumilipas ang mga araw ay masasabi kong naging malapit kami ni Semper. Not
that close pero
at least hindi na ako halos matulos sa kinatatayuan kapag nakikita siya but he is
still the jerk that I know,
that's why it is hard to believe that he is an angel as what he claims he is.

Mag-isa akong kumakain sa canteen. Wala si Nikki dahil may klase ito sa isang
subject niya. Tahimik
akong kumakain sa sandwich ko habang nagbabasa ng ilang notes para sa quiz ko nang
makarinig ako
ng pamilyar na malanding boses.

"Babe, gusto ko doon tayo mag-sit oh. Let's go sit there na because I'm so hungry
na talaga."

Hindi ko na kailangan pang mag-angat ng tingin upang malaman na ang boses na iyon
ay kay Iradessa.
Siya lang naman ang kilala kong malandi ang tono at higit sa lahat ay conyo.
Sinadya pa niyang lakasan
ang boses niya na nag-echo pa sa kabuoan ng canteen.

"Go na Babe, order me a lot of food ha? But make sure no carbs, you know I'm on a
diet."

Palihim na pinaikot ko na lamang ang nga mata ko at kumagat sa sandwich ko. Isinubo
ko rin ang pasta.
Di bale nang mabilaukan. I heard the chair on the table next to mine being pulled.
Pagkatapos ay umupo
doon si Iradessa.

"Oh, Violet what a surprise, nandito ka rin pala," she said with a victorious
smile. Alam kong sinadya
niyang dito maupo malapit sa akin, so that she can pick on me. Her eyes shifted
towards the counter.
"You see, Daven is ordering food for us."

1/11
Hindi ako ang tipong mahilig sa away kaya pinalampas ko na lamang ang sinabi niya
at ipinagpatuloy
ang pagbabasa. But I only find myself reading the same words over and over. My mind
wanders to the
times where Daven bought food for me. For us.

Wala namang planong tumigil si Iradessa. "Isn't he sweet?" Oo, sweet talaga si
Daven. Magka-diabetis ka
sana! Ilang beses ko ba siyang isusumpa na sana ay magka-diabetis siya? "He's so
sweet, dinala niya ako
kagabi sa tabing dagat. Nanuod kami ng mga bituin sa langit."

Natigil ang akma kong pagsubo. My hand suspended on air habang hawak ko ang tinidor
na may pasta.
The food suddenly tasted like rust. At alam ko kung bakit naging lasang kalawang
iyon. Sa anim na
buwan na naging kami ni Daven, he promised me that he will take me to the seaside
at manunuod kami
ng bituin. But that never happened. Hindi kami madalas na lumalabas ng gabi. His
explanation? He
doesn't want Dad to worry about us. Pinigil ko ang mga luhang muling nagbadyang
umagos. Coo! Why
do I have weak tear ducts?!

Bigla na lamang akong nakaramdam ng presensya sa likuran. Isang mukha ang nakatapat
ngayon sa
gilid ng mukha ko. One wrong move ay mahahalikan ko na kung sino man iyon. That
person leaned from
my back, I felt his chest on my head. Bigla na lamang niyang kinain ang pasta na
nasa tinidor na hawakhawak ko. What?! This is my fork!

It was Semper.

Nakangisi pa siya nang naglakad siya patungo sa upuan na nasa harap ko. "Hmm, ang
sarap,"
nakangiting wika niya habang ngumunguya. Unti-unti akong napasimangot. He just used
my fork. I
repeat, my fork.

Ako ang unang sumubo mula sa tinidor na iyon. And he used it. Naniniwala ba kayo sa
indirect ki- oh.
Never mind.

"Wha-"

Stop being jealous.

2/11
Heto na naman siya sa pakikipag-usap sa isipan ko. Tiningnan ko siya ng masama pero
tiningnan lang
din niya ako. Angels are smart, right? Does he know that my glare means that I am
telling him to stop
talking to my head? Padabog na ibinagsak ko ang tinidor ko sa platito ng pasta.
Nawalan ako ng gana
kaninang dumating sina Daven at mas lalo lamang akong nawalan ng gana nang kumain
si Semper
gamit ang tinidor ko.

But to my surprise, pulled the saucer with the pasta at sinimulan iyong kainin. He
also bites from the
sandwich that I was eating. Hindi naman siguro siya patay-gutom, hindi ba?

"Samahan mo ako," he said in between his bites. Napansin ko ang pagkawala ng kulay
sa mukha ni
Iradessa habang kinakain ni Semper ang pagkain ko.

Ano siya sinuswerte? "Saan?"

Semper laid two tickets in front of me. Kinuha ko ang mga ticket at tiningnan iyon.
From my peripheral
vision, I can see Iradessa's neck stretched, trying to take a peek on the tickets.
Hindi iyon movie ticket, it
was a foam party pass.

"Where the hell did you get that tix, Semper? Alam mo bang nahirapan pa akong
magpabook ng tix na
'yan. I'm so sad that I haven't got it dahil super bilis naubos 'yung tix!"
Maarteng sabat ni Ira. She really
looked sad as she stared at the tickets. Ops, she's not informed that Semper
doesn't like including hell in
your speech. And oh, what's tix by the way?

Semper just gave her a shrug at hinarap ako. "It will be tonight."

"Tonight?" Bulalas ko. Agad-agad? Normally kapag may mga party akong pupuntahan ay
kailangan kong
magpaalam sa mga magulang ko dalawang araw bago ang party- those parties were
birthday parties of
my closest friends! But Semper? Malaki ang posibilidad na hindi ako papayagan ni
Daddy. It's a foam
party, malamang ay may alak doon. Ano pa nga ba ang aasahan kong mangyari roon
maliban sa
pagpapalabas nila ng foam, 'di ba?

I took a glance at Ira. Mukhang naiinggit siya sa akin dahil sa ticket na iyon and
it will be a point on me.
"Okay!" Nakangiting wika ko. Pilit kong tinatago ang matagumpay kong ngiti habang
tinitingnan si
Iradessa na sobrang naiinis at mababakas sa mukha ang pagkainggit. Well, one point
for me.

3/11
Iradessa na sobrang naiinis at mababakas sa mukha ang pagkainggit. Well, one point
for me.

Bumalik si Daven na dala-dala na ang pagkain nila. Ira was still sulking as she
take glances on the gate
pass at our table. Napansin ko ang bahagyang pagsulyap ni Daven sa direksyon namin
at nagdilim ang
kanyang mukha.

His glare is somewhat telling me something. Maybe why I was with Semper gayong
kinausap na niya ako
tungkol doon. Sa pagkakataong ito ay lumipat naman kay Semper ang paningin ko. No
dark expression.
He just looks normal while eating my food at tila hindi inalintana ang presensya ni
Daven sa kabilang
mesa.

Bigla na lamang may hinigit sa back pocket ng pantalon niya si Daven at inilapag
iyon sa harap ni Ira. It
was the same pass!

"Babe?" tila hindi makapaniwalang wika ni Ira at halos mangilid na ang mga luha na
ipinaglipat-lipat ang
tingin kay Daven at sa gate pass. "You secured me these tix, too? Uh! I love you na
talaga!" She rose
from her seat and reached for him to gave him a quick peck on the lips. I looked
away before their lips
touched. I thought the point was for me, turns out, nasa kay Ira pa rin pala ang
huling halakhak.

Semper looked at me intently.

"What?" I mouthed with annoyance. Ubos na ang pagkain kong kinain niya. Nakakainis
lang!

Let's go?

Sinamaan ko siya ng tingin nang muli siyang magsalita sa isipan ko. Unti-unti na
rin ang panunubig ng
mga mata ko. When will I ever win against Iradessa? Sa tingin ko ay ang pag-alis
dito ang
pinakamabuting gawin bago pa ako tuluyang maiyak. To my surprise, Semper got my
things that was
scattered on the table, pushed it inside my shoulder bag at isinukbit iyon sa
sariling balikat bago ako
inalalayang tumayo. Hindi ko alam kung ano ang nakain ko. I just found myself
walking towards the
direction where Semper was pulling me. Dinala niya ako somewhere kung saan tila
naging tahimik ang
paligid.

"Pwede ka ng umiyak," matabang na wika niya. He was leaning into something at nasa
kanya pa rin ang
pastel shoulder bag ko na hindi bumagay sa kanya at sa suot niyang all black
outfit.

"Ayoko ngang umiyak hindi naman ako naiiyak eh!" Mariin kong sagot habang
pinipigilan ang
pagsinghot. My eyes were watery, but I don't care. Semper just bite his lower lip
at nanatiling nakatingin
4/11
sa akin hanggang sa hindi ko na napigilan. Biglang kumawala ang luha mula sa mga
mata ko kasabay ng
paghikbi. "Wala naman kasing nakakaiyak! Bakit mo ba ako pinapaiyak?!"

He didn't answer at nanatili lamang na nakatunghay sa akin. And you know what? It
only made me cry
more. Ano ba ang problema ng mga tear ducts ko?

"Hindi naman iyon malaking bagay! Hindi nakakaiyak! Wala lang 'yun!" Who am I
kidding? Tumingin ako
kay Semper at sininghalan siya. "Hindi mo man lang ba ako ico-comfort?"

"How should I do it?" Tanong niya.

"Ewan ko sa'yo!" Nagpatuloy lang ako sa pag-iyak. Bakit ba nasasaktan pa ako dahil
kay Daven at Ira?

Ilang minuto rin ang lumipas bago tuluyang nawala ang mga luha ko. Nakatayo lamang
si Semper at tila
walang balak na aluin ako. Siguro ay mas okay na rin iyon. I wiped away all the
remaining tears at
iniabot ang shoulder bag ko mula sa kanya. Hinanap ko sa loob ang panyo at agad na
nagpunas ng
mukha.

"Kalimutan mong nakita mo akong umiiyak ngayon," wika ko sa kanya.

"I cannot. Our memories are always sharp unless the Archangels alter or erase
them," sagot niya and
when he snapped his fingers, everything was now back to normal. Naging maingay na
ang paligid, hindi
katulad kanina.

Archangels! Hindi ko alam kung karapat-dapat bang paniwalaan si Semper pero dahil
sa mga pinapakita
niyang kakayahan ay tila nais ko na ring maniwala sa kanya. It's just that he
showed the opposite of
what he claims to be. I thought mabait ang mga anghel but Semper is rude and a
jerk. Inagaw ko mula sa
kanya ang shoulder bag ko.

"Could you at least pretend to forget about it?" And if there's one thing he is
good at? That is annoying
me to the greater extent.

"Fine. Let's say I have forgotten how you foolishly cried," he said with a smirk.
"You look so ugly when
you cry by the way."

Sa halip na matuwa ay mas lalo lamang akong nainis kaya hindi ko na lamang siya
pinatulan. Tumalikod
na ako at iniwan siya. Bago pa man ako tuluyang nakalayo ay narinig ko ang boses
niya.

"I'll pick you up later by 8 p.m.."

5/11
I stopped and looked back. "Sorry to tell you but I have strict parents." Wala
naman talaga akong balak
na pumunta. Lalo na ngayong pupunta rin pala sina Daven at Ira! No way!

He just gave me a shrug bago inayos ang backpack sa isang balikat at tumalikod sa
akin.

***

Habang natatapos ang araw ay kinakabahan ako for some unknown reason. Huling
subject ko na para sa
araw na ito and guess what? Philo class with Sir Neo, Daven and Semper.

Pagpasok ko pa lamang sa pinto ay tinawag na ni Nikki ang pangalan ko at tinapik

ang bakanteng upuan
sa tabi niya. Wala kaming proper seat plan but each student usually take the seat
that they took on the
first day of class. Tahimik na tinahak ko ang pasilyo patungo sa silya ko, not
minding Daven and his
friends at maging si Semper na kinakagat ang lapis niya. Nakapwesto pa rin ito sa
upuan niya, right
behind me.

"Gurl, guess what?" Nikki said with excitement.

"What?"

"Umalis na si Sir Neo."

Alam kung aalis na si Sir Neo, he told me that when he asked for apology pero hindi
ko alam na ngayon
pala. "So, wala tayong pasok?"

"Meron. May bago na kasing na-hire and..." Sinadya niyang bitinin ang sasabihin.
This is where Nikki is
good at. Daig pa niya ang host ng mga reality at talent show sa TV na nag-aanounce
ng mga mananalo
sa galing niyang mambitin.

"And?"

"Pogi pa rin 'yung kapalit!" She bit her lip in excitement at ilang beses na pinalo
ang mesa dahil sa kilig.
Geez! Dahil lang doon? Napansin niya ang pagsimangot ko kaya hinawakan niya ang
magkabilang gilid
ng bibig ko at hinila ako para kunwari ay nakangiti ako.

"Stop it," I said, taking her hands off me.

6/11
"Stop it," I said, taking her hands off me.

"Pwede bang magkunwari ka naman na natutuwa dahil pogi 'yung prof natin?" Wika
niya. Hindi ko na
siya sinagot dahil bumukas ang pinto at pumasok doon ang isang gwapong lalaki.

He was tall, probably as tall as Semper and Daven. He doesn't have a bulky body,
just the right
proportion. His skin was neither white nor black. Narinig ko na lamang ang
malanding tili ng mga kaklase
ko including Nikki. Yep, the professor has a really good visual. He let out a
boyish smile at inilapag ang
dalang libro sa mesa bago humarap sa amin at ngumiti.

"Good afternoon, everyone," bati niya kasabay ng isang ngiti na mas lalo lamang
nagpaingay sa
classroom dahil sa sigaw ng mga kababaihan. Kinuha niya ang naroon na marker at
isinulat ang kanyang
pangalan sa white board.

Duane Arienza.

"My name is Duane Arienza, and I am your newly hired instructor for this philosophy
class." Inilibot niya
ang paningin sa loob ng klase and that's when I thought that his eyes linger on me
a little longer. O nagiisip lamang ako ng kung anu-ano.

I thought he was the playful kind and he would spend the next hours enjoying the
admiration that the
girls were throwing him but he didn't. Sa halip ay nagsimula na siyang magturo- in
a very professional
way.

Habang natatapos ang araw ay mas lalong naninikip ang dibdib ko. Why? Because later
will be the foam
party. Kahit wala akong intensyon na sumama kay Semper, ang isipin na magkasama
mamaya sina Ira
at Daven ay siyang nagpapasikip sa dibdib ko.

"Miss Dizon?"

Mahinang siniko ako ni Nikki at tinuro si Sir Duane na nasa harapan gamit ang
kanyang bibig. Tila
nagising naman ako mula sa malalim na iniisip at tumingin sa harapan.

"I'm sorry," sagot ko kay Sir Duane na hawak ang class record, maybe for reference
as he called out
names. "Can you please repeat the question?"

The class giggled because of my spacing out pero sinaway sila ni Sir Duane. "I was
saying, can you give
me an example of a dicto simpliciter?"

Ah, so we're discussing fallacies? Mukhang masyado nga yata akong wala sa tamang
pag-iisip. I took a
sigh and look around. "Dicto simpliciter." I repeated. Sa katunayan ay walang
problema sa akin na
7/11
magbigay ng example. I can give an example as well as the meaning since I studied
in advance last night
at kanina. Dicto simpliciter is unqualified generalization. It's just that... ayaw
makipagkoopera ng utak
ko. "C-can you call another student first before me?"

Muling natawa ang mga kaklase ko.

"I already did," sagot niya.

Napatuwid ako ng upo at itinaas ang ulo. I must think. Think of an example Violet.
Think. I cleared the
lump in my throat. "All angels are not rude."

Muli ay umugong ang tawanan. Okay, I got it. My answer is a little bit stupid. Sir
Duane made a gesture
using his hand to silence the class.

"What made you think that your example qualifies as a dicto simpliciter?"

Ramdam ko ang tingin ng mga kaklase ko sa akin ngunit pilit ko iyong inignora.
"Because of the word all.
My statement would have been credible if I use qualifiers such as in my experience,
often and
sometimes." Hindi naman talaga ako sigurado sa example ko but uh, I cannot think of
anything but this!

"Good point but mind if I ask why you used angels as an example? Some may think
that your statement
itself is a fallacy since we envision angels as good creatures, therefore they are
not rude," nakangiting
wika ni Sir Duane, na tila amuse na amuse sa example na ibinigay ko.

I want to say it will not be a fallacy because it is based on my experience pero

hindi ko iyon sinabi.
Nararamdaman ko ang masamang tingin na ibinabato sa akin ni Semper mula sa likuran
ko.

"Well... I don't think all angels are not rude," iyon na lamang ang nasagot ko and
gladly, Sir Duane gave
up in asking more and called another name that he found on the class record.

You dared!

Mahinang tinampal ko ang noo nang marinig ko ang boses ni Semper sa isipan ko.
Bahagya ko siyang
nilingon at sinamaan ng tingin. Sana makuha niya na ang ibig sabihin ng tingin ko
sa kanya ay STOP
TALKING TO MY HEAD.

8/11
Maayos na natapos ang klase at matapos magpaalam kay Nikki ay agad akong lumabas ng
classroom. I
don't want to be caught up with Semper. Gusto ko lamang manatili sa loob ng kwarto
ko. I hailed a cab at
nagpahatid sa bahay.

I spent the rest of the afternoon listening to music and reading my favorite books.
I need to keep myself
busy bago ko pa man muling maisip si Daven. When it was dinner time, Lav knocked on
my door at
pinababa ako para sa hapunan. Pagbaba ko ay naroon na si Daddy, he was smiling at
me as I kissed his
cheeks.

"Bakit hindi ka pa naghahanda?" Tanong niya na ikinakunot ng noo ko. "Aren't you
supposed to be
dressed by now?"

"Dressed for what?" Pinaglaruan ko ang pagkain sa plato ko.

"Hindi ba't may lakad kayo ngayon ni Semper? What party was it again, honey?"
tanong ni Daddy kay
Mommy.

"Foam party."

"That's it."

Naibagsak ko an tinidor ko sa mesa. "Kilala mo si Semper, Dad?" Oh no. I cannot

believe this.

"Yes. Nagpunta siya dito tatlong araw na ang nakakalipas para magpaalam na dadalhin
ka niya sa isang
foam party."

"And you agreed?"

"Yes, what's wrong with it?"

Hindi lamang ang kubyertos ang nalaglag kundi pati na ang panga ko. So, Dad knew
about this party
ahead- ahead like three days than me? So, nagpaalam si Semper sa kanya bago ako
inimbita kanina
lang!? Unbelievable strategy. Hooray for Semper.

"What's wrong with it? It's a party with alcohol and other stuff!" Okay, I'm
overreacting. As if I would take
those. Hindi ko alam kung anong kapangyarihan ang ginamit ni Semper sa kanila.

"At sino naman ang may sabi na iinom ka?" Dad asked, carefully biting his food.
Nothing seemed unusual
with him, except for his consent to this.
9/11
"Hindi ba kayo natatakot doon? And Semper itself! How could you trust that guy?"
Okay, this is not to
demean Semper or what. Hindi ko lamang gusto ang ideya na ipinauubaya nila ako kay
Semper.

"Darling, you need to get a life," Mom said. "Mula nang naghiwalay kayo ni Daven ay
palagi ka na
lamang nagkukulong sa silid mo."

That's not true. Kahit noong kami pa ni Daven ay palagi na akong nagkukolong sa
kwarto. And what
situation is this? Are my parents thinking I am so depressed that's why I stayed a
lot inside my room? Are
they thinking I'll commit suicide?

"And why would we not trust Semper? He came here bravely. Nagpunta siya dito upang
maayos na
nagpaalam- bagay na hindi nagagawa ng boyfriend mo dati."

Dad has nothing against Daven, he clearly said that before. Ngunit sa anim na buwan
na naging kami,
he only met him twice. Una ay noong ipinakilala ko si Daven sa mga magulang ko at
pangalawa ay noong
sinundo ako ni Daven para sa acquaintance party.

Vernon Dizon is the scary looking guy in suit. Siya ang tipong tila ang hirap
pangitiin- well that is only for
first impressions dahil ang totoo ay napakabait nito at palangiti.

"He came here early in the morning and respectfully asked for my consent. Nangako
naman siyang hindi
ka paiinumin at kung ano man ang naroon na hindi tama. Violet, you should live your
age, okay? You're
of legal age now kaya hindi na kita binabawalan sa mga ganyang bagay, I trust you
that you will not do
anything not good," mahabang wika ni Daddy. sa ibang pagkakataong ay baka na-touch
na ako. I have a
super cool Dad with overflowing trust in me. But no.

His overflowing trust is not only for me but as well as to Semper. "Pero Dad-"

Naputol ang sasabihin ko nang may nag-doorbell. Agad na tumayo si Lav.

"Ako na ang magbubukas!" He said and ran towards the door. Hindi kalakihan ang
bahay namin kaya
mabilis niyang naabot ang pinto. When he returned to the dining room, he was with a
guy that is the
main issue of our family conversation tonight.

"Magandang gabi po sa inyong lahat!" He greeted at my family and Mom and Dad gave
him smiles.
Tumayo si Daddy at hinigit ang isang upuan samantalang kumuha naman ng panibagong
pinggan si
Mommy.

"Magandang gabi rin, Semper, come and join us for dinner."

10/11
I was giving him the don't or you're dead glare but he just ignored it.

"It's a pleasure, Sir," wika niya at pinaunlakan ang paanyaya ni Daddy. He sat on
the chair, near Dad at
nagpasalamat kay Mommy na nilalagyan ng pagkain ang pinggan niya.

Oh no, I don't think this is good.

11/11
Chapter 14: My Guardian Angel

"Sabihin mo nga sa akin, anong spell ang ibinalot mo sa pamilya ko?" Tanong ko kay
Semper. Katatapos
lang naming kumain at agad kong hinila si Semper sa isang tabi. Alagang-alaga siya
ni Mommy sa
pamamagitan ng paglalagay ng kung ano mang pagkain sa pinggan niya- bagay na kay
Lav lang niya
ginagawa, not to me when I turned into a lady and became conscious of my weight.
Hindi naman sa
naiinggit ako, nakakapagtaka lang.

And Dad! Dad was talking to him! He even made Dad smile into his gummy smiles! Isa
pa si Laven Der!
He calls him "Kuya Cool" kasi daw ang cool nito! He even invited him to play with
him with the online
game that he is addicted to!

"I am an angel, not a witch," sagot niya. Nakahawak siya sa kanyang tiyan. "I think
I just committed a
deadly sin."

"What?"

"Gluttony." He took a heavy breath at napasimangot. "Hindi ako makahinga sa sobrang

busog. Nahihiya
kasi akong tumanggi sa Mommy mo."

"Are you blaming my Mom?" nakataas ang kilay na wika ko.

"I'm not. I was the guilty one, not her," he said at ininda ang pakiramdam na
sobrang busog. "You should
go and get dressed."

1/11
Kahit labag sa kalooban ko ay gumalaw pa rin ako at nagtungo sa silid ko. Semper is
wearing a black
shirt, black shorts and black ball cup. His usual fashion. Hanggang ngayon ay
palaisipan pa rin sa akin
kung bakit itin ang suot niya gayong anghel siya (if he really is). Doesn't white
symbolizes angels?

I chose to slip into my black high waist short and white tank top. I don't think I
need to get dressed
formally dahil paniguradong hindi naman ako mag-eenjoy. I tied my hair into a
ponytail. Grabbing my
sling bag, I applied a little lip gloss and ran downstairs.

Nagpaalam na kami ni Semper kina Mommy at Daddy at agad na lumabas ng bahay. Hindi
nagsalita si
Semper mula nang bumaba ako kaya't nang makalabas kami ay hinarap ko siya at
umikot. "What do you
think? Am I overdressed?"

"Not bad," replied at nauna na akong bumaba mula sa front porch ng bahay. Nang
dumaan ako sa harap
ni Semper ay nagulat na lamang ako nang hilahin niya ang buhok ko. Actually, it's
not my hair. Ang
nakatali sa buhok ko ang hinila niya, making my hair fell into my shoulders.

"Ano sa tingin mo ang ginagawa mo?" Sinubukan kong kunin mula sa kanya ang pantali
ko sa buhok, but
he fished it inside his short pants' pocket. "Akin na 'yan!"

"I like your hair down."

Thanks to the dim of the soft lights, he was not able to see me blushing. I just
hope angels doesn't have
the ability to see clearly in the dark. I twirled my hair on my fingers, but when I
realized how stupid I
looked, I keep my hands down and scowled at him. "Akin na sabi," I said, minus the
force and conviction I
exerted the first time I said it.

Nilagpasan niya lamang ako at tinungo ang kanyang motor. He tossed me a pink helmet
at sinuot naman
niya ang isa pang helmet na kulay itim.

"Why pink?" tanong ko habang inaayos sa ulo ang helmet.

"Most girls like pink."

2/11
"Really?" Paniguradong hindi ako kasali sa MOST na iyon. I don't like pink, but I
don't dislike it either. My
favorite color? Guess what? If you're thinking it's violet hence the name, well...
You're wrong. Blue is my
favorite color. And if you think that my Mom likes violet that's why she named me
Violet and my brother
Laven Der, you're wrong, too. Gusto niya ang pink but I'm very thankful that she
didn't name me Pink,
Pinky, Pinkerbell or whatever name with Pink on it.

Tinanggal ko ang helmet at sinuri iyon dahil nahihirapan akong isuot iyon and
secure it. I tried locking it
again but failed until Semper walked few steps towards me. Dahil mas matangkad siya
sa akin ay
bahagya siyang yumuko at isinuot sa akin ang helmet. My body froze with the sudden
touch of his hand
to mine nang abutin niya ang helmet. I stood still at halos hindi kumurap nang
halos magkapantay
lamang ang mukha namin at ilang dangkal lang ang pagitan.

"There," wika niya at maayos na tumayo. Saka pa lamang ako nakahinga ng maayos at
ilang beses na
kumurap. Nauna na siyang sumampa sa kanyang motorsiklo at pinaandar ang makina.
Sumunod naman
ako at sumampa sa kanyang likuran. Thank God he brought this thing and not his old,
rusty car.

Nang dumating kami sa Dowby's kung saan gaganapin ang party, tila nais kong mag-
backout. This club
is always lively pero iba ito ngayon. It becomes livelier. Pagpasok pa lamang namin
ay napakaingay na
ng paligid. The lights were of different colors at maingay ang tugtog na musika.
There were smokes
everywhere, probably coming from the special effects that Dowby's prepared or from
the cigarettes of
the people around.

"Bakit mo ako dinala dito?" I asked Semper, who as I noticed, was looking around
vigilantly.
4/11
"Part of the order. I think someone will attack you at your room tonight," sagot
niya na hindi ko alam
kung seryoso ba o hindi.

"Ano?"

"Jophiel said that I should take you here to keep you safe," he replied.

"Your girlfriend?" Tanong ko at tumango siya. "Paano naman ako magiging ligtas sa
lugar na ito?"

No matter how I look at it, this place isn't safe for me. First is the place
itself, then Semper at kahit
anong tingin ang gawin ko, troublesome rich kids were everywhere.

"Hindi ko alam pero iba ang pakiramdam ko," wika ni Semper na nagpakaba sa akin.

"Anong ibig mong sabihin?"

"This place seems weird." His eyes scanned the area. Well for me, this place is
weird dahil hindi naman
ako party girl. But for him?

"What's weird? Hindi ka ba sanay sa ganito?"

"Look at the DJ, he seems lifeless," sagot niya at napadako ang paningin ko sa DJ.
Sa mga napapanuod
ko sa TV, DJ's usually match the energy that the music they turned is giving. They
bang their heads like
they're not afraid that their brain might shake. Pero kakaiba ang DJ na ito. Walang
kabuhay-buhay na
nakayuko lamang ito, his eyes wide open. I felt cold chills in me but I ignored it.

"W-well... concept? Maybe that is the concept for today's party." Okay that's lame
but it's my way to
calm myself.

"Tingnan mo ang mga waiters," he said and I turned my eyes on the waiters around
the room. Like the
DJ, they also seemed lifeless. Nagsisilbi sila ng mga inumin na tila ba wala sa
kanilang tamang sarili.

"It's really the concept," I said, trying to convince Semper even though it's hard
to convince myself at
first. Iginiya niya ako sa mga bakanteng couch sa gilid at inilibot ang kanyang
mata. Nang makaupo na
ako ay nagpaalam siya sa akin.

"Stay here. Wag kang aalis dito, I'll be back later. May titingnan lang ako," sabi
niya sa seryosong tono.
Palagi naman talagang seryoso ang tono niya pero mas naging seryoso ito ngayon. If
there is more
serious than serious, then that's it.

5/11
serious than serious, then that's it.

Gusto kong magprotesta at sabihin sa kanya na wag akong iwan pero nakalayo na si
Semper. I just sat
there and watched as Semper disappeared from the crowd of people. Hanggang ngayon
ay palaisipan pa
rin sa akin kung bakit ako dinala dito ni Semper.

Ayon sa kanya ay bahagi ng utos sa kanya. His girlfr- I mean that Jophiel wanted
him to bring me here.
Why would Jophiel care for me to the point that he sent her own boyfriend? At sino
naman ang
magtatangka sa buhay ko kung nasa bahay ako?

Is it the guy in black na nakita ko sa panaginip ko? Now that I think about it, I
cannot remember much
about that dream anymore. At si Semper. Kakampi ko nga ba siya o siya talaga ang
gustong pumatay sa
akin? Right now, I am convinced that he is definitely not human. Maybe he is right,
he is an angel. But
what if he is fallen?

I have read articles about fallen angels. They were angels who lusted on humans and
went down on
Earth. But is Semper really one of them? Ipinilig ko sa isipan ang bagay na iyon at
inilibot na lamang sa
paligid ang paningin. Nanlaki ang mga mata ko nang makitang pumasok si Daven at
nakapulupot sa
braso niya si Ira. Agad akong napayuko at tumalikod. Ayokong makita nila ako. But I
know Iradessa. I
know she would feel my presence kaya bago pa niya ako mapansin ay agad akong tumayo
at sumingit
sa ilang mga tao na naroon. I sneaked my way through the crowd and went out.

Abot hanggang labas ang ingay na nagmumula sa loob ng Dowby's. Nasaan na ba kasi si
Semper?
Inilibot ko ang paningin sa paligid bago tumingala. New moon pala ngayon. Tumayo
ako sa gilid at
tinanaw ang paligid kung sakaling naroon man si Semper.

Ilang beses akong nagbilang but still there was no sign of Semper. Nasaan na ba
kasi yung lalaking
iyon? Don't tell me he is leaving me here after scaring me that something's off
with this place?
Napaatras ako hanggang sa bumangga ako sa isang bulto.

"Pasensya na!" Halos magkapanabay namin ng lalaking nabundol ko. He was surely
tall. Nang iangat ko
ang mukha ko sa kanya ay agad akong natigilan. It was Sir Duane.

"Magandang gabi po, Sir," pagbati ko kasabay ng bahagyang pagyuko. Mula sa

ekspresyon ng mukha
niya ay pilit niyang inalala kung saan niya ako nakita, and there was recognition
in his eyes. Sumilay ang
ngiti sa labi niya at tinuro ako.

"Hey, aren't you from my class in AU?" tanong niya at sinagot ko siya sa
pamamagitan ng pagtango.
"Yes, it's really you. The angel."
6/11
"Excuse me, sorry?"

He waved his hands and let out a little laugh. "Sorry, I don't mean to say it that
way. Wag mo sanang
mamasamain," wika niya. He stretched his hand in front of me. "My name's Duane. And
please, do not
call me Sir in places like this."

"Okay lang po. Violet Dizon po, my name is Violet Dizon," iniabot ko ang kamay
niya. Napansin ko ang
bahagyang pagsimangot niya.

"Hindi nga Sir pero may po naman. How old are you, Angel?" he asked.

I want to raise my eyebrow dahil sa tinawag niya sa akin pero pinigilan ko ang
sarili. "18."

"Oh, see? 22 lang ako so sa tingin ko hindi naman nagkakalayo ang edad natin. Call
me Duane,"
sinabayan niya ang kanyang sinabi ng isang malapad na ngiti. "So, alone?"

I shook my head and looked around. Hinanap ko si Semper but still, he was nowhere
out of sight. "May
kasama ako."

"I see. So paano, Angel? I'll go ahead?"

I gave him a smile at tuluyan na itong pumasok sa loob. Napasulyap ako sa suot kong
relo. 9:15 p.m.
pero hindi ko pa rin mahagilap si Semper.

I felt something weird. Tila unti-unting dumidilim ang paligid. Nang tumingala ako
upang tingnan ang
langit, napansin kong unti-unting tinatabunan ng ulap ang buwan. Eh? Is it going to
rain? Bigla akong
napapiksi nang may humawak sa braso ko.

"Hey."

"Ginulat mo ako," wika ko habang hinahawakan ang dibdib ko. It was Daven- and
fortunately no Iradessa
behind him.

"Bakit ka sumama kay Semper? Hindi ba binalaan na kita? Hindi ka ba talaga

makikinig sa akin, Violet?"
He said with force. May halong galit at pag-aalala ang boses niya. His eyes tell me
that he is worried. I
felt the flutter in my stomach.

Bakit ganito si Daven? He acts like he cares yet there he is, with Ira. Ano ba
talaga ang gusto niyang

7/11
Bakit ganito si Daven? He acts like he cares yet there he is, with Ira. Ano ba
talaga ang gusto niyang
mangyari?

"Eh ano ngayon kung kasama ko si Semper? Get your own life, Daven, just enjoy your
night with Iiradessa." My voice cracked a bit but I maintained my stance.

Napasabunot siya sa kanyang buhok, a gesture which tells me that he is upset.

Hinawakan niya ang
kamay ko. "Violet, please..."

"Please, what?"

"Trust me on this. Go home and do not go anywhere with Semper. Do not trust him,
kailangan ko pa ba
talagang ipaliwanag sa iyo ang lahat?" Pagsusumamo niya.

"Bakit ko naman iyan gagawin?"

"Just do as I say."

"No!"

Napaangat ang nakayukong mukha niya sa akin. "Why are you like this?"

"Ako dapat ang nagtatanong niyan, Daven." I broke free from his hold. "Hindi na
tayo, Daven, so do not
just go and tell me what am I supposed to do with my life."

Umatras ako at tinalikuran si Daven. Hooray for myself. I shed no tears. Siguro ay
mas maiging sa loob
ko na lamang hintayin si Semper. Bumalik ako sa pwesto kung saan ako iniwan ni
Semper kanina. Good
thing that seat wasn't taken. Naupo ako doon at pinanuod ang tao sa paligid. Ilang
minuto rin akong
nakaupo bago naramdaman ang nakakainis na presensya na umupo sa tabi ko.

"So, ano ang feeling na pinapagtakpan mo ang sikreto ng isang tao?" Wika ni
Iradessa habang maarteng
umiinom at kinakagat ang straw na nasa baso niya.

Wala akong balak na patulan siya ngayon pero hindi ko napigilan ang sarili ko.
"What?"

"Don't play dumb, Violet, pareho nating alam na may sikreto si Semper."

8/11
"Don't play dumb, Violet, pareho nating alam na may sikreto si Semper."

What? So, she knows about Semper, too?

"How do you know?"

"Simple. I knew it because he is so obvious," sagot niya. So Semper used his

ability on her too? Gaya na
lamang ng pagsasalita sa isipan? "Is that why you're with him?"

Hindi ko alam kung kakampi ko sa Iradessa o hindi. It's just that we both know
Semper's secret. "Yes."

"Pathetic."

What? Does she think I am pathetic because I believed that Semper's mission is to
save me pero ang
totoo ay siya talaga ang nais pumatay sa akin? Nanlaki ang mga matang napatingin
ako sa kanya. "Wwhat do you mean?"

"If you think maagaw mo si Daven sa akin, bitch no. Because like you, I know his
secret." Tumayo siya
mula sa pagkakaupo. "Don't trust gays like him." Tuluyan na siyang lumayo sa akin
but my mind was still
blank for what she just said.

First, is that she called me bitch. Second is, Semper's gay? Ah, same theory I
heard from her at the CR.
So that's the secret that she's talking about. Akala ko pa naman ay alam niya ang
tungkol sa pagiging
anghel ni Semper. Nasaan na ba kasi ang lalaking iyon? Lumapit sa akin ang isang
waiter, he offered me
a blue drink in a tall glass na may nakadisenyo pang maliit na payong.

"No thanks," magalang na sagot ko. I will not try alcohol. Not when Dad trusted me
on this night out.
"Hindi ako umiinom."

"Pinapabigay po kasi ito ni-" the water paused and looked at the paper that he put
on his tray. "Semper
Galvez. Kanina ko pa po sana ito ibibigay kaso nawala kayo. Juice lamang po ito at
walang halo kahit
konting alcohol."

So, Semper asked the waiter to give me a drink. Alam ba niyang matatagalan siya?
Nagpasalamat ako sa
waiter bago ito umalis. Inilapag ko lamang sa mesa ang inumin at muling inilibot
ang paningin sa paligid,
looking for any sign of Semper. Lumipas ang limang minuto ay wala pa rin ito.
Kinuha ko ang inumin
mula sa mesa. I took a sip from it. It was really a juice. Bubblegum flavored
juice. I took another sip again
hanggang sa mangalahati na ang laman ng baso pero wala pa ring Semper na
dumarating. Is he
seriously ditching me?!

9/11
Tumayo ako at napagpasyahang umalis na lamang. I waited so long! Isa pang
nakakainis ay ang
malanding pagsayaw ni Daven at Iradessa sa gitna! I've decided! I'm getting out of
here!

Papalabas na ako ng Dowby's nang maramdaman ko ang kakaibang pagkahilo. I stopped

and felt my
head, it was spinning in circles. Humawak ako sa pinakamalapit na railings at
pinakiramdaman ang sarili.
Hindi kaya't hindi juice ang nainom ko? Tumuwid ako ng tayo at muling naglakad, not
minding the
throbbing pain that slowly develops in my head. Unti-unti na ring lumalabo ang
paningin ko. The way
becomes blurry and everything doesn't feel normal o sadyang ganoon ang epekto ng
alcohol. The
bouncers on the side were just standing. The place seemed quiet. Tila nawala ang
malakas na tugtog at
ingay ng mga tao sa loob. I shook my head and adjusted my sight.

How dare Semper trick me! Hindi purong juice ang pinabigay niya sa akin! May halo
iyong alcohol kaya
ganito ang nararamdaman ko. Finally, I stepped outside Dowby's and searched for a
cab. Bahagya akong
napakislot dahil sa sakit ng ulo ko. It was getting worst. Nasaan na ba kasi ang
mga taxi dito sa paligid?!

Napatingala ako nang mapansin na tila nandilim ang paligid. May mga ilaw mula sa
mga
establisyamento sa paligid but there was this eerie feeling of different darkness.
Pagtingala ko ay saka
ko lamang napansin na unti-unting natatakpan ng maitim na ulap ang langit. Wala
ring mga bituin. I
frown on the thought that it might rain.

Muli akong naghanap ng taxi sa paligid but unfortunately there were none which was
quite odd. May
strike ba ngayon? Kinuha ko ang cellphone sa bag ko upang kumuha ng masasakyan sa
pamamagitan
ng app but my phone was just a total black. Nakalimutan ko bang mag-charge? Uh,
that I am not sure. I
tossed the phone back to my bag. Ditched by the person who brought me here, a
little bit dizzy and no
cab to take me home, wow. What a night!

Tila may tubig na tumulo sa mukha ko. It was just one drop. Muli akong napatingala
at muli ay may
tumulo. Bago pa man ako tuluyang mabasa, I was able to stand at a roofed pavement
na hindi kalayuan
sa Dowby's. Bumuhos naman ang napakalas na ulan. I sighed few times. Ano na ang
gagawin ko
ngayon?

Mas lalo namang kumirot ang noo ko. It's getting worst. Ganito ba talaga ang epekto
ng nainom ko? Untiunti iyong lumala hanggang sa hindi ko na iyon nakayanan. I fell
on my knees, holding the side of my
head. Tila nanghihina ang paghinga ko. I sighed again, trying to catch my breath
but it only made me
gasp for more air. A loud groan of pain escaped my throat. Sana ay may dumating at
tumulong sa akin! I
began to panic but it was no use.

It was getting hard to see. Tila naging lumang TV ang paningin ko. It was just
black and white. Ibinuka ko
ang bibig ko upang makahinga pero tila hindi man lamang iyon nakatulong. From my
black and white
vision, I saw a man stood on my side. Nakatingin lamang siya sa akin. May suot
siyang cape at
natatakpan ang kanyang mukha pero sigurado akong lalaki iyon. His built was
familiar! I was beginning
to become desperate for help kaya itinaas ko ang kamay sa lalaki, na tila ba
nanghihingi ako ng tulong. 10/11
to become desperate for help kaya itinaas ko ang kamay sa lalaki, na tila ba
nanghihingi ako ng tulong.
It was hard to speak but I hope he would understand na kailangan ko ng tulong niya.

Luckily, he reached for my hand and bend down in front of me. Sa isip ko ay nais
kong magpasalamat
but he didn't do anything to help me! Hinawakan niya ang nakanganga kong baba and
he let me face
him! His eyes! His eyes were dull and familiar! Hindi ko alam kung dahil ba iyon sa
nararamdaman ko
but I swear the rain was not pouring downwards! It used to pero natigil iyon at sa
halip ay pumataas!

A mischievous smile escaped the guy's lips! He lifted my chin and opened his own
mouth! Isang itim na
usok ang lumabas mula sa bibig niya at unti-unti iyong pumapasok sa bibig ko!
Nanlaki ang mga mata
ko! I tried closing my mouth but I couldn't! The only thing I could see was the
rain pouring upwards, the
guy and the puddle on the road na unti-unti na ring lumulutang sa hangin pataas!

Hindi ko alam kung ano ang mga nangyayari. All I know is that I regretted coming
here. Naramdaman ko
na lamang ang mainit na likido mula sa mga mata ko and before I totally go crazy, I
uttered a prayer that
I used to say a lot mula pa noong bata ako. Hindi ko alam kung bakit iyon ang
naisip ko or maybe it was
all that I can think of!

Angel of God
My guardian dear
To whom God's love
Commits me here...

My body was starting to feel the heat. Hawak pa rin ng lalaki ang baba ko. Kahit
puno na ng luha ang nga
mata ko ay nagawa ko pa iyong buksan pero mas lalo lamang dumilim ang paligid.

Ever this day

Be at my side
To light and guard
To rule and guide...

Ilang beses akong napakurap and before I know what will happen next, tuluyang
dumilim ang paligid. It
was a total darkness, but I know I was awake! It was so frightening! Nakakatakot
ang labis na kadiliman
ngunit bago pa man ako mas lalong maiyak dahil sa kadiliman ay nawalan na ako ng
malay.

11/11
Chapter 15: Confused

My mind swirled and a part of it was saying that I should open my eyes. Ngunit may
bahagi din naman
ng utak ko ang nagsasabing manatili na lamang sa ganoong posisyon. It was
comfortable but at the
same time uncomfortable! I can feel a rough dry road on my legs! Am I sitting on
the road?

But I wasn't sitting! I was half lying! Ang pang-ibabang bahagi ng katawan ko
lamang ang tila hindi
komportable but the upper part of my body was so comfortable. I was like lying on
someone with a scent
of mint and bath soap. It was a very manly scent na napakaswabe ng epekto sa ilong.
My head was
rested into something damp, but it was warm. It was hard pero napakakomportable sa
pakiramdam. It
was like lying on a man's chest. And to think, there seems like a heavy breathing
and—

Man's chest?!

And heavy breathing?!

Kahit ayaw ng katawan ko ay napilitan akong buksan ang mga mata ko. And it hit me!
I was really lying
in a man's chest! On the side of the road! And the man with a damp chest was
Semper!

Napabalikwas ako ng bangon ngunit hindi agad nakatayo! Nakaupo si Semper sa lupa at
bahagyang
nakasandal sa isang poste. He was breathing hard and his eyes were closed. Basang-
basa siya— mula sa
kanyang buhok, damit at lahat na tila ba lumusong siya sa ulan! But... Napatingin
ako sa paligid. It
wasn't raining!

Napatingala ako sa buwan, it was new moon. No rain so how did this guy get wet?
Napatingin ulit ako
kay Semper. Nakaupo din ako sa semento at nakaharap sa kanya. My eyes widened when
I imagined my
position a while ago. I was on his chest, my hands on his side! Ipinilig ko ang ulo
ko at mahinang

1/12
position a while ago. I was on his chest, my hands on his side! Ipinilig ko ang ulo
ko at mahinang
tinampal ang sarili. Ayaw kong isipin kung ano ang posisyon ko kanina!

But what are we doing here? Bakit nandito kami sa daan at... I looked at Semper.
Nakapikit pa rin siya
habang nakakunot ang noo at habol ang kanyang hininga. It was the same expression
he had when I was
at the infirmary kaya sigurado akong gising siya kahit nakapikit pa ang mga mata
niya.

Gusto kong sapakin ang mukha niya! How dare him left me inside! Ilang oras ba akong
naghintay sa
kanya sa loob?! I even drank the juice that he gave me and it was with alcohol!

"Hoy!"

He didn't budge at nanatiling nakapikit at habol ang kanyang hininga.

"Semper?"

"Mm?" His voice was... is he hurt?

"Bakit pinainom mo ako?" I poked his chest, but it was a bad move. I felt his hard
chest, the one where
my upper body rested and felt so comfortable. Ipinahid ko na lamang kamay ko sa
damit ko upang alisin
ang kakaibang sensasyon na dulot ng pagdampi ng daliri ko sa katawan niya.

"I d-didn't."

There was really something in his voice. "Ayos ka lang ba? Bakit basa ka? Hindi
naman umula—" Hindi ko
natapos ang sasabihin dahil bigla na lamang may alaalang lumabas sa isipan ko. The
dark clouds
covering the moon, the rain, the guy! The guy who was standing in front of me! Ang
tila pagpasok ng
itim na usok sa aking bibig na nagmumula sa kanya! Ang ulan na bumabalik pataas!
"Semper!"

Nataranta akong bigla. Natakot. I don't know how I have those memories, but it felt
so real. "Semper!"

Dahan-dahan naman niyang iminulat ang kanyang mga mata at tumingin ng diretso sa
akin. Gusto kong

2/12
Dahan-dahan naman niyang iminulat ang kanyang mga mata at tumingin ng diretso sa
akin. Gusto kong
sabihin sa kanya ang naalala ko but my lips were shaking with fear.

"Semper." I just kept on repeating his name at kinagat ang pang-ibabang labi upang
pigilan ang
paglabas ng mga hikbi. Nagulat ako nang hinawakan ni Semper ang pisngi ko.

"Tingnan mo ako sa mata, Violet," he said in an authoritative voice. I don't know

why but I felt the urge to
follow so I did. His eyes met mine and before I lost in those dark lackluster gems,
he spoke in a soft
voice. "Forget what happened to you tonight." Then he gently blow my eyes at
napapikit ako dahil sa
gulat.

"VIOLET?"

Napalingon ako sa likuran ko kung saan nanggaling ang malakas na boses na tumawag
sa pangalan ko.
It was Nikki at may kasama siyang lalaki. Her hands were swirled on the guy's arm
ngunit bumitaw siya
doon at lumapit sa amin matapos may binulong sa kanyang kasama. The guy nodded at
nauna ng
umalis.

"Anong ginagawa ninyong dalawa diyan?" May sumilay na ngiti sa kanyang labi. It was
a naughty smile
at may ideya na ako kung ano ang tumatakbo sa isip niya ngayon. Umayos ng upo si
Semper at
gayundin ako. "Are you making out here? Hindi niyo ba afford ang hotel o kahit
motel man lang?!"

"Nikks!" I almost blushed in embarrassment! Unfortunate for me to have a friend who

doesn't know how
to filter her mouth. Pero ano nga ba ang ginagawa naming dalawa ni Semper dito?
Bakit nakaupo kami
sa semento? And why is he wet?

Itinapat ni Nikki ang kanyang cellphone kay Semper upang mas mailawan ito. "And did
you lick him from
head to foot gurl? Bakit parang napakabasa niya?"

Napa-facepalm na lamang ako. Ano ba ang pinagsasabi ng babaeng to? Uh please do not
make me
regret our friendship! Tumayo si Semper at inalalayan din niya akong tumayo. Hindi
ko alam kung bakit
basa si Semper but knowing Nikki, kailangan kong mag-isip ng tamang isasagot.
3/12
"Nasira ang isang gripo sa loob habang nasa CR ako," sagot ni Semper. Pinagpagan
niya ang sarili at
ganun din ang ginawa ko. Tumutulo pa rin ang tubig mula sa kanyang katawan. "And
Violet tripped so
that's why we're on the ground."

I did?

"Ayan kasi, tingnan mo nga 'yang suot mong sapatos!" Napababa naman ang paningin ko
sa suot kong
5" heeled shoes. "Dapat naka-flats ka lang o kaya tsinelas!"

Hindi ko na lamang sinagot si Nikki. Napalipat ang paningin niya kay Semper. "Sa
tingin ko ay dapat iuwi
mo na 'tong kaibigan ko at nang makauwi ka na rin at magbihis. Alam mo bang kapag
basa ang suot na
shorts at brief ng lalaki ay lalaki ang kanyang itlo—"

I cut her off. Uh! Nikki and her mouth! "Aalis na kami! Bye, Nikks!" I pulled
Semper away from Nikki.
Nang makalayo kami ng konti ay binitawan ko siya and he led the way to where his
motorcycle was
parked.

Kadarating lang namin dito pero aalis na kami dahil nabasa si Semper. Pero bakit
sobrang basa niya na
hindi kapani-paniwalang nasira ang gripo sa banyo? He was dripping wet. Mula ulo
hanggang paa! Nang
marating namin ang motorsiklo niya ay iniabot niya sa akin ang pink na helmet.

"Sorry kung aalis na tayo bago pa lang tayo dito," wika niya. Binuksan niya ang
toolbox ng kanyang
motor at naglabas ng itim na T-shirt mula roon. Walang pakundangan na hinubad niya
ang suot na
basang T-shirt. I can see his back and I swallowed hard. His skin was flawless, I
should say.

"A-yos lang." I almost wish I can see his abs but I didn't. Knowing how he can read
me through my mind
or face or wherever, I don't want to risk my reputation as a sucker for abs.
"Where's your scar?"

"Scar?" Nagtatakang tanong niya. He successfully slipped himself into a new dry
shirt and he tossed the
wet one in the toolbox.

"Scar. Hindi ba sa mga libro at palabas ay nagkakapeklat ang mga anghel na bumababa
mula sa langit?"
Okay, I'm blabbering, I know.

"No, unless you're fallen." Simpleng sagot niya at sinuot ang helmet. Oo nga pala.
He is not fallen, he is
an angel on mission— illegal mission. "Okay lang ba sa'yo kahit na basa ang shorts
ko?"

"Ayos lang, pauwi na rin naman tayo," sagot ko sa kanya. Sumampa na siya sa
motorsiklo at agad
naman akong umangkas matapos niyang buhayin ang makina.
4/12
Nang makarating kami sa harap ng bahay namin ay agad akong bumaba. I removed the
helmet at
iniabot iyon kay Semper.

"I'm sorry if we have to leave immediately. You didn't enjoy the party," wika niya
at tinanggap ang
helmet.

"Okay lang." Hello? Hindi ko naman talaga gustong sumama sa kanya. Hindi ba't
pinilit niya lang ako? I
mean, hindi pinilit. I was left with no choice. Hindi rin naman ako party girl. I'd
rather stay home and
read. Saglit akong natigilan. There seemed to be a gap in my mind. May nangyari ba
na hindi ko
maalala?

Napalingon ako sa kabahayan. "Maaga yatang natulog ang mga tao dito."

Semper nodded his head at nagpaalam na. "Wag kang lalabas." It was like an order.
"Pumasok ka na."

I nodded my head and turned my heels. Maging sa bahay namin ay nakapatay na ang mga
ilaw.
Pumasok ako sa gate at hinayaan na lamang si Semper na tanawin ako hanggang sa
tuluyan akong
makapasok sa pinto. Before I closed the door, tumingin ako sa gawi ni Semper at
narinig ko ang boses
niya sa isipan ko.

Be careful. Good night.

Tuluyan ko ng isinara ang pinto at umakyat sa silid ko. I heard the revving engine
of his motorcycle,
papalayo sa bahay namin. Nang marating ko ang silid ako ay agad kong hinubad ang
mga sapatos ko at
tumalon sa kama. Binuksan ko ang lampshade na nasa tabi at halos manginig ang mga
kamay ko nang
mapadako ang mata ko sa orasan. It was past midnight.

So, that explains the silence in the neighborhood! Ngunit kadarating lamang namin
sa Dowby's! We left
home at past 8! Semper left at pinaghintay ako pero sigurado akong hindi umabot ng
apat na oras ang
paghihintay ko! All I can remember is that I sat there, and few minutes ay dumating
sina Ira at Daven.
That's all I can remember. No more, no less!

Tila may hindi magandang nangyari, iyon ang naisip ko. May nangyari ba na hindi ko
maalala? Now that I
think about it, the gap in my memory becomes unambiguous. Pakiramdam ko ay may
bahagi ng alaala
ko na hindi ko malaman. All I can remember is that we arrived at Dowby's, I saw
Daven and Iradessa and
that's it. What happened in between the four hours that I cannot seem to remember?

5/12
Paano ako nadapa gaya ng sinabi ni Semper kanina? How did he get wet? I am not
buying his
explanation. Oo, minsan ay nakakainis talaga kapag sira ang gripo but I am certain
na hindi ka magiging
ganoon kabasa. Something is not right here. Kinuha ko ang cellphone mula sa bag ko
and then there was
a flash of memory in my mind. Iyon ay nang tingnan ko ang cellphone ko na itim lang
ang nasa screen.

Napatigil ako. Where did that memory come from? My cellphone's battery percentage
is 84% ngunit may
alaala sa isipan ko na nakapatay ang cellphone ko na tila ba kanina lang nangyari
iyon. Weird.

Niyakap ko ang sarili ko upang kahit papaano ay maibsan ang takot. Alam kong hindi
ito normal. I pulled
the blanket all over my body at sinubukang alalahanin ang mga nangyari ngunit kahit
anong pilit kong
gawin ay wala akong maalala. Sa tingin ko ay ang kausapin si Semper ay ang
pinakamabisang solusyon.
I need to hear everything from him. Tuluyan ko ng binalot ang sarili sa kumot
hanggang sa nakatulugan
ko na lamang ang labis na pag-iisip.

***

Nag-aalangan akong pumasok sa philo class ko ngayong araw. I spent most of my time
weighing things
that has been bothering me, and that is Semper. Ilang beses akong nag-isip ng
sasabihin ko sa kanya.
Gusto kong malaman ang lahat ng nangyayari na may kinalaman sa kanya. Those things
that doesn't
add up, gusto kong ipaliwanag niya. The gap in my memory that night and his so-
called mission here.

Bumuntong-hininga ako bago pumasok sa philo class ko. Bahagya kong sinulyapan ang
pwesto ni
Semper at wala pa siya. Napansin ko si Daven sa kanyang upuan na tahimik na
nagmamasid sa akin.
Umupo ako sa tabi ni Nikki at nanatiling tahimik at nakayuko.

"Magkwento ka nga, kayo na ba?"

Napaangat ang ulo ko dahil sa tanong na iyon ni Nikki. Obviously, she is taking to
me. "Anong kami na?"
Sinabayan ko pa iyon ng pag-angat ng kilay.

"Aruy, patay-malisya! Gusto mo ba talagang isigaw ko pa?" banta ni Nikki. Nang

umakto siyang
bubuksan ang bibig ay agad kong iniligay ang kamay ko sa bibig niya.

"Ano ba!" Bahagyang bulong ko. I sighed in frustration samantalang binigyan naman
niya ako ng
matagumpay na ngisi.

"Kwento ka na."
6/12
"Nikki, Semper and I are just..." Napatahimik ako saglit. We don't even qualify as
friends kaya mahirap
sabihin na we're just friends.

"Just ano?" Tunghay niya.

"Nothing. Walang namamagitan sa amin, ni hindi nga kami magkaibigan eh."

"Do you know that your nose twitch when you lie?"

Napahawak ako sa sarili kong ilong. "It's not!"

"Ito naman oh, parang others! Ano nga kaya? MU?" Sinabayan pa niya ng pagsundot sa
tagiliran ko.

"MU?"

Napalis ang ngiti sa labi ni Nikki. "Mukhang Unggoy! MU kayong dalawa!" Halatang
naiinis siya sa akin.
Paano ba naman kasi ay kung anu-anong mga salita ang ginagamit niya na hindi ko
maintindihan!
Tuwing umaga ay nakakatanggap ako ng mensahe niya na "JWU" at hindi ko iyon
maintindihan kaya
tinanong ko siya kung ano ang ibig sabihin nun. She said it was JUST WOKE UP.

There was also a time when she asked me if ayos ba ang OOTD niya. Wala akong ideya
kung ano iyon
and she was frustrated to know that I am a millenial pero hindi ko alam ang mga
bagay na iyon. Hindi ko
maintindihan kung ano ang koneksyon niyon sa pagiging millenial! Nonetheless, I
learned from her na
OUTFIT OF THE DAY ang ibig sabihin ng OOTD.

There were a lot of things like those gaya na lamang ng GBU, TGIF, TBH, LMS, LMAO,
SKL at kung anuano pang mga acronym na hindi ko maintindihan.

"Mutual Understanding gurl! Jusko, saang bundok ka ba talaga galing?" Wika niya at
sinabayan ng
mahinang hampas sa mesa.

I glared at her. Ako at si Semper, may mutual understanding? Joke ba 'to? "Dream on
Nikki."

"Eh, anong meron sa inyo?" She asked. I looked around and noticed that Daven was
looking at us. Ano ba
ang maari kong isagot? Basing on the look on Daven's eyes, he is waiting for me to
say that nothing is
going between us. Is he jealous? Tumuwid ako ng upo at hinarap si Nikki.

"I'm..." I have to do this. Gusto kong makita ang reaksyon ni Daven. "I'm special
to him."
7/12
I saw Daven dropped his jaw samantalang impit na napatili naman si Nikki. Tumakas
ang lahat ng kulay
sa mukha ni Daven and I felt victorious. Kinagat ko ang pang-ibabang labi upang
pigilan ang pagngiti.
Naalala ko si Semper. Alam kong hindi siya matutuwa sa sinabi kong ito. Hindi ako
special sa kanya—
well maybe special but not as what Nikki and Daven thinks. Espesyal ako dahil
misyon niyang
pangalagaan ako, 'di ba? Ah, basta! If he wants to rebut that, special pa rin ako
dahil bumaba siya para
sa akin kahit na para naman talaga ito sa girlfriend niya. Duh.

Panay ang tukso sa akin ni Nikki at mabuti na lamang ay dumating na si Sir Duane.
Matitiim na titig na
lamang ang naibabato ko kay Nikki na panay pa rin ang panuknukso. Napalingon ako sa
bakanteng
upuan na nasa likuran ko. Bakit kaya wala pa si Semper? Siguro aabsent na naman
yun. I sighed at muli
na lamang ibinalik ang atensyon sa harapan.

Natapos na ang klase at absent nga si Semper. Habang inililigpit ko ang mga gamit
ko ay nauna ng
nagpaalam si Nikki sa akin. Ayon sa kanya ay may lakad siya ngayon kaya hindi siya
makakasabay sa
akin sa pag-uwi. Palabas na rin sana ako ng classroom nang maramdaman kong may
humawak sa braso
ko. Naglandas ang paningin ko mula sa kamay na nakahawak sa braso ko hanggang sa
mukha ng
humawak sa akin.

"Daven."

"Can we talk?" He asked. Gusto ko sanang sabihin na ayaw ko. Ilang beses na ba
kaming nag-usap
ngunit isang tunog lang ng cellphone niya ay iiwan niya agad ako.

"Okay, but turn off your phone," sagot ko. Binitawan niya ako at hinigit ang
kanyang cellphone mula sa
bulsa at pinatay iyon. Hinintay niyang makalabas ang lahat ng mga kaklase namin sa
classroom bago
siya nagsalita.

"Did something happen last Friday night?" Tanong niya sa akin. Bahagyang napakunot
ang noo ko. Ah,
the foam party? Well we have the same question. Did something happen that night?
Pero sa tingin ko ay
hindi si Daven ang tamang tao na kailangan kong tanungin.

"Bakit?"

"Hindi na kita nakita matapos tayong mag-usap sa labas," wika niya.

My eyes grew wider. "We talked?"

8/12
Napakunot ang noo niya dahil sa tanong ko. "Oo, hindi mo ba maalala?"

I opened my mouth to say something ngunit walang lumalabas sa bibig ko. Tila may
mga imaheng
nabuo sa utak ko at iyon ay nang nakausap ko siya sa labas. The memories were
ambigous and
incomplete at hindi ko matagpi-tagpi ang mga pirasong iyon.

Napahawak ako sa ulo ko. It started to ache kaya napahawak ako sa mesa bilang
suporta. My knees
started to tremble. "A-ano..." My breathing becomes heavy. Nagmamadaling kinuha ko
ang bag ko at
tumatakbong lumabas ng classroom. Bakit si Daven lang ang nakakaalala na nagkausap
kami? No
matter how I tried to remember, wala akong maalala na nagkausap kami. Ang tanging
na aalala ko ay
dumating kami ni Semper doon. Why can't I remember anything else? And where did
these new
memories come from?

Patuloy lamang ako sa pagtakbo kahit na tinatawag ako ni Daven. I continued running
hanggang sa
mabangga ako sa isang bulto.

"Pasensya na po," napayuko ako bilang paghingi ng paumanhin at nang mag-angat ako
ng tingin ay si
Sir Duane pala ang nakabangga ko. Dala niya ang kanyang mga gamit at nakasukbit sa
kanyang daliri
ang susi ng kanyang kotse.

Sumilay ang ngiti sa labi ni Sir Duane. "Hey, Angel!" Lumingon siya sa paligid at
hininaan ang boses. "I
guess we always bump with each other just like what happened at Dowby's." He smiled
sweetly and
studied my face at bahagya akong naasiwa. And what did he just call me? Angel?

"Angel?"

"Oh, hindi mo ba naalala? Ah, baka lasing ka ng gabing iyon," wika niya. Mas lalo
naman akong
naguluhan. Did he mean, last Friday night? "The foam party?"

Napahawak ako sa sentido ko. So, nagkausap din kami sa Dowby's? Something is not
really right here.
Kailangan ko na talagang kausapin si Semper tungkol dito.

"Are you okay, Angel?" Tanong niya.

I forced a nod. "Ayos lang po ako. M-mauna na po ako." Bago pa man ako tuluyang
mabaliw sa kaiisip ay
nagpaalam na ako. Lumabas ako ng campus at nagpahatid sa apartment ni Semper. Takot
na takot ako
na baka ano ang mangyari sa akin dito pero hindi ko na rin kayang mag-isip pa ng
kung anu-ano.

Nang makarating ako sa harap ng apartment niya ay dumoble ang takot ko. Kahit pa
man halos hindi na
ako makahinga sa kaba ay nilakad ko pa rin ang pasilyo papunta sa kanyang unit. As
far as I can
9/12
remember, he pointed the last unit. Nang makarating ako sa harap ng pinto ay
nagdadalawang isip pa
ako bago kumatok. I was fighting with myself to knock or not to knock. Sa huli ay
tinatagan ko ang sarili
ko at kumatok. Walang sumagot. I tried knocking again but still, no one answered.

Baka umalis, naisip ko. Tumalikod na ako upang umalis but then I stopped. I looked
back and stared at
the door. Pinihit ko ang siradura and there was a click sound. Hindi iyon naka-
lock. Napahigpit ang hawak
ko sa doorknob habang napabuga ako ng hangin.

May iba-ibang imahe ang isip ko tungkol sa loob ng kanyang apartment. Images that
bring shivers to my
body. Ipinilig ko na lamang ang ulo ko upang iwaglit sa isipan ko ang mga imaheng
iyon.

Tuluyan kong binuksan ang pinto at sinalubong ako ng kadiliman. Pasado alas sais na
ng hapon at
walang nakabukas na ilaw. Mukhang wala ngang tao roon. There was an eerie feeling
inside but I
ignored it. Isasara ko na sana ang pinto nang may narinig akong pag-ubo kasabay ng
isang mahinang
daing. Sigurado akong si Semper iyon.

"Semper?" I called out but no one answered, but still there was a groan. "Semper?"

Nang wala pa ring sumagot ay sinugod ko ang kadiliman. Unti-unti ng nakakapag-

adjust ang paningin ko.
Kinapa ko ang dingding at nang mahawakan ko ang switch ng ilaw ay lumiwanag ang
paligid. Bumulaga
sa akin ang hindi kalakihang lugar.

May maliit na table sa harap at may bonsai plant. Sa ilalim ng mesa ay may mga
libro at magazines. The
bookshelf on the side was empty. May maliit din na mesa sa gilid kung saan naroon
ang ilang styro na
nilagyan ng pagkain. There was a small area near the sink where a small microwave
was placed. There
was a small fridge on the side. Unti-unting naglandas ang paningin ko sa dalawang
pinto. One was with a
sign saying comfort room and one door was slighly opened. Agad kong tinungo ang
pintong bahagyang
nakabukas at binuksan iyon.

The room was a shade of gray. May malaking closet sa gilid at sa gitna ay may kama.
There were black
clothes scattered on the floor, unused socks, shoes, packs of junkfood at kung anu-
ano pa. Bumalik ang
paningin ko sa kama kung saan may lalaking nakadapa.

"Semper!" Agad akong lumapit kay Semper, who was half-naked. May malaking sugat
siya sa kanyang
likuran. Malaki iyon at parang slanting line ngunit sa kaliwang bahagi lamang ng
kanyang likod.
Preskong-presko pa ang sugat at sigurado akong napakasakit niyon.

"Semper, ayos ka lang ba?" Napaupo ako sa kama at tiningnan siya. Nakapikit ito at
tila iniinda ang
sakit. He opened his eyes and looked at me.

10/12
sakit. He opened his eyes and looked at me.

"Anong ginagawa mo rito?"

"Hinahanap kita," sagot ko. I looked around looking for anything to treat his
wounds. "Do you have a first
aid kit here?"

"Don't mind it, Violet," sagot niya. His face was still struggling because of the
pain.

"No, kailangang magamot iyan bago pa ma-infected," sagot ko. Hinubad ko ang suot
kong bag at
inilabas ang first aid pouch. Inilabas ko ang betadine at ibinuhos iyon sa bulak.
Pagkatapos ay ipinahid
iyon sa sugat niya. The wound was long na tila ba tinaga siya. Hindi na siya
nakapagprotesta pa sa
ginawa ko. "Anong nangyari dito?"

"Hindi mo na kailangang malaman."

Fine. "Kailan pa 'to?"

"Friday night."

"What? At hindi ka man lang pumuntang ospital? Look, it's still fresh!" Bahagya
kong diniinan ang bulak
at napadaing siya sa sakit.

"It's healing."

"No, it's not! At Friday? Hindi ko ito nakita!" He stripped in front of me with his
back, right? Ibig sabihin
ay nakuha niya ang sugat na ito nang matapos niya akong ihatid. "Napagtripan ka ba
ng tambay?"

Hindi siya sumagot at napapikit na lamang. I wrapped his wound with gauze matapos
kong linisin iyon.
Kung ako ang magdedesisyon ay malamang pinadala ko na siya sa ospital upang matahi
ang sugat niya.
He really needs stitches for his long wound. Binuksan niya ang kanyang mga mata at
tiningnan ako.

"What?" I mouthed.

"Salamat." Nag-iwas ako ng tingin. Hindi ko alam kung bakit hindi ako komportable
gayong simpleng
salamat lamang iyon. I cleared my throat and looked at him.

"Kumain ka na ba?" Umiling siya. "Do you have anything to eat? Or kahit ano na
maluluto at pwedeng
kainin? On the second thought, maybe I'll check for myself."
11/12
Hindi ko na hinintay ang sagot niya. Itinabi ko ang bag ko sa kama at agad na
lumabas ng kwarto.
Binuksan ko ang laman ng kanyang cabinet. Mayroon namang mga grocery items doon.
Sunod kong
binuksan ay ang ref. Mayroon din namang maluluto roon. Nagsaing ako ng kanin sa
rice cooker at
hinalungkat ang laman ng kanyang ref para sa ulam. Niluto ko ang karne na naroon at
sinabaw iyon. May
nakita rin akong spicy pasta at ininit ko na lamang iyon microwave. Halos mag-isang
oras din bago ako
muling kumatok sa kwarto ni Semper. Nang hindi siya sumagot ay binuksan ko na ang
pinto at pumasok.
Nakadapa pa rin siya at nakapikit. He looks so innocent with his face pressed on
the white pillow.
Mahinang tinapik ko siya sa balikat at nagising naman siya.

"Kumain ka na."

Tumayo siya sa pagkakadapa at umupo. Ginusot niya ang kanyang mga mata at tiningnan
ako.

"Sabi ko kumain ka na," I looked somewhere. I don't want to see his abs, okay?
Kailangan kong tumingin
sa ibang direksyon. Tumayo siya sa kama at pumunta sa pinto, bago pa man siya
tuluyang makalabas ay
tinawag ko siya. "Hep, hep, you're eating half-naked?"

Tumingin siya pababa sa kanyang tiyan at huminga ng malalim. Pagkatapos ay tinungo

niya ang
malaking closet at naglabas ng itim na sando at sinuot iyon. I almost frown when I
saw the inside of his
closet. Halos lahat ng damit niya ay itim. 80% were black, 15% white at 5% na
iba't-ibang kulay.
Pagkatapos magbihis ay tuluyan na siyang lumabas ng kwarto at nagtungo sa kusina.

12/12
Chapter 16: I'm Feeling Weird

Nang lumabas siya para kumain ay sinimulan kong pulutin ang mga nagkalat na gamit
sa sahig. Inayos
ko rin ang mga magazine at libro na nakakalat sa kanyang study table. Nang
sinulyapan ko ang kama ay
may bahid iyon ng dugo. His sheets were white kaya hindi iyon kaaya-aya sa
paningin. Tinanggal ko ang
kanyang bedsheet at pinalitan iyon ng bago. Pagkatapos mag-ayos ay lumabas na ako
ng kwarto at
pinuntahan siya sa kusina. Panay ang subo ni Semper, marahil ay gutom na gutom
siya.

"What took you so long?" Tanong niya sa akin nang makalabas ako. Hindi naman
singgulo ng kwarto niya
ang sala kaya ayos lang na hindi ko iyon ligpitin. Let me remind myself that I am
not his part-time
housemaid.

"Nilinis ko lang ang kalat mo," sagot ko. Mga nakakalat lang naman iyon na damit at
mga tirang
junkfood. Nothing disgusting.

"Hindi mo ba ako sasaluhan?" Inilakbay niya ang paningin sa mesa kung saan
nakahanda ang pagkain.

Umiling ako. "Hindi na."

He dropped his spoon. "Bakit? Nilagyan mo ba ng lason ang pagkain ko?" He joked.
Hello? If I could, then
I would.

I rolled my eyes at him. "Kung nilagyan ko man, edi kanina ka pa bumulagta diyan."
May pagka-engot
din pala ang lalaking 'to minsan!

1/12
"Good point," he said and continued eating. Naging masigla na siya kumpara kanina.
Maybe he was just
really hungry kaya matamlay siya. "Ano nga pala ang ipinunta mo rito?"

Ngayon ay nagdadalawang isip na ako kung itatanong ko ba iyon. Is this the right
time to talk about it?
But if not, eh kailan pa? I might lose my sanity if I keep thinking about this
thing. Sa huli ay ipinasya
kong itanong iyon.

"It's about last Friday night."

Napahinto sa ere ang kamay niyang akmang susubo. He looked at me bago

ipinagpatuloy ang akmang pagsubo. "What's with it?"

"May nangyari ba?"

"Nangyari?" Pagmamaang-maangan niya. Okay, he's obvious. Too obvious.

"Nakausap ko si Daven kanina. Sabi niya ay nagkausap kami nang gabing iyon at
maging si Sir Duane
pero wala akong maalala. Kahit konti ay wala akong maalala", wika ko sa kanya.

"Something's wrong with your memory?" Tanong niya at pinagpatuloy ang pagsubo.

"Don't take me for a fool, Semper. There's a gap in my memory," wika ko sa kanya.
Ibinaba niya ang
hawak na kubyertos at tiningnan ako ng diretso.

"Can't you just forget about it?"

"No. Naguguluhan ako, baka mabaliw ako sakaling hindi ko malaman—" he cut me off.

"Then, can we talk about it some other time?" tanong niya. Nakipagtitigan ako sa
kanya at bago pa man
ako malunod sa kanyang mga mata ay ako na ang unang bumitaw ng tingin.
2/12
"Fine. Hindi muna sa ngayon but we will talk about it some other time. Tungkol
naman sa sugat mo,
anong nangyari?"

He sighed a few times. "I don't know. My wings were almost ripped."

"Ripped? By who?" Nanlaki ang mga mata ko. So, that explains the long wound on one
side. Ibig sabihin
ay hindi iyon tuluyang natanggal.

"Hindi ko alam." Napansin ko ang pananamlay niya at bahagyang kinapa ang kanyang
sugat sa likod.
"Kailangan ko pang alamin kung sino."

"What? Someone ripped your wings and you don't know? Try harder, Semper,"
nakangiwing wika ko.
Totoo nga ba o niloloko niya lang ako upang hindi na ako magtanong pa tungkol doon.

"I really don't know," he said, giving me a genuine facial expression. I sighed in
surrender.

"Fine. Let's say I believe you for now. You missed the class. Kumain ka na at
magpagaling para
makapasok ka na." Tumalikod na ako at tinungo ang pinto. "Aalis na ako."

4/12
"Violet?"

Napahinto ako at nilingon siya. "Hmm?"

"Thank you." Sinabayan niya iyon ng ngiti. Then I felt the butterfly in my stomach.
Tumango na lamang
ako at nagmamadaling tinungo ang pinto.

***

I hid my face on the book that I was reading. Panay naman ang sulyap sa akin ni
Nikki. I guess this will be
my usual set-up from now.

"Nagmumukha kang timang diyan," komento niya. Napatuwid ako ng upo at kinagat ang
pang-ibabang
labi ko. Bahagya siyang lumapit sa akin at tiningnan ang mga mata ko. "Teka,
nagpuyat ka ba?"

Yes, but there's no way I will tell Nikki na napuyat ako kakaisip kay Semper.
Nakakainis naman kasi, I
keep on thinking about his smile. Ano bang problema ko?

"Nagkape ako kaya hindi agad ako nakatulog," pagsisinungaling ko sa kanya.

"Ops, nose twitching. Liar," she said.

Sinamaan ko siya ng tingin at ibibaba ang paningin sa librong binabasa ko. It's
Tuesday at wala akong
logic class ngayon kaya maliit lamang ang probability na makita ko si Semper
ngayong araw. MWF ang
schedule ng klase namin sa Philosophy kaya malamang ay wala pa rin ito upang mas
mapagaling pa ang
kanyang sugat.

Napasulyap ako sa relo ko at niligpit ko ang mga gamit ko. "Mauna na ako sa'yo, may
community service
pa ako."

"Hindi ka pa tapos? Ang tagal ah!" Reklamo niya, as if naman siya ang gumagawa.

"Hindi ko kasi araw-araw ginagawa plus hindi ko ginawa last week ang natitirang
oras. Wag kang magalala, huling dalawang oras," sagot ko at nagpaalam. Dumaan muna
ako sa locker room at iniwan doon
ang mga gamit ko bago ako dumeretso sa botanical garden. I picked up the water
sprinkler at
nagsimulang magdiling ng mga halaman na naroon.

"Isn't this faster?"

5/12
"Isn't this faster?"

Muntik na akong mapasigaw nang may nagsalita sa likuran ko. It was Semper at hawak
niya ang hose at
dinidiligan ang mga halaman doon.

"Ginulat mo na naman ako!" I exclaimed, massaging my chest. Something's new with

him today. Ah,
baka ang suot niyang Tshirt. Guess what? It isn't black but white. Pero tila may
kakaiba pa rin sa kanya.
Tila maaliwalas ang kanyang mukha.

"Hindi ah, sadyang magugulatin ka lang." Even his voice seemed different. Bakit
tila magandang musika
sa pandinig ko ang kanyang boses. I mentally scolded myself for thinking such.

"Wala ka bang pasok?" Tanong ko. Lumapit ako gripo at tinanggal ang ang nakakabit
na hose. Nilagyan
ko ng tubig ang water sprinkler upang diligan ang mga bagong tubo na tanim.

"Ayaw kong pumasok," sagot niya.

"You shouldn't do that. Ang mahal mahal ng tuition natin tapos hindi ka lang
papasok?" Sinubukan kong
ikabit ulit ang hose sa gripo.

"I want to be here with you," sagot niya.

Bigla akong natigilan. Mali ang pagkakakabit ko sa hose kaya nabasa ako ng tubig.
Worst is that it was
my face. And the reason of my clumsiness is because of what Semper said.
Nagmamadaling tinakpan ko
ng kamay ko ang gripo ngunit nagpalala lamang iyon sa sitwasyon. Ano ba ang
nangyayari sa akin?

Nagulat na lamang ako nang lumapit si Semper sa akin. Naglabas siya ng panyo mula
sa kanyang bulsa
at sinimulan akong punasan. Pinunasan niya ang buhok ko, mukha, leeg then he
stopped. Napansin
siguro niya na nakatitig lamang ako sa mukha niya. Bigla na lamang niyang inihagis
sa mukha ko ang
panyo.

"Punasan mo ang sarili mo!" Tumalikod na siya at pinatay ang gripo saka ikinabit
ang hose at muli iyong
pinaandar at nagpatuloy sa pagdidilig.

Nang ma-realize ko ang katangahan ko ay agad akong tumalikod. Ilang beses kong
pinagalitan sa isipan
ang sarili ko. God, how stupid of me! Bakit kailangan kong matulala sa harapan pa
mismo ni Semper?
Pinagpatuloy ko na lamang ang pagpupunas sa sarili ko.

6/12
"Hindi ka naman siguro suminga dito sa panyo mo, ano?" Tanong ko sa kanya. His
hankie smells exactly
like him. Mint and manly scent.

"Huwag ka ng magtanong dahil baka pagsisihan mo lamang," sagot niya.

Nanlalaki ang mga matang napatingin ako sa kanya. "You're the worst!" Yuck,
nakakadiri ha! Nakita kong
napa-smirk siya. He is enjoying my irritation!

Binawi naman niya iyon ng malawak na ngiti. "Huwag kang mag-alala, malinis 'yan."
Binato ko siya ng
mga matatalim na ngiti at pinagpatuloy ang pagpupunas.

"Magaling na ba ang sugat mo? Bakit hindi ka na lamang nagpahinga muna?"

"I thought you don't want me to miss school," sagot niya na nasa mga halamang
dinidiligan ang kanyang
paningin.

"Not really... I mean, kailangan mo munang magpagaling," sagot ko. Itinago ko ang
panyo sa backpocket
ng suot kong pantalon. "Saka ko na lamang ibabalik 'tong panyo mo kapag nalabhan ko
na."

"Unti-unti na siyang gumagaling," sagot niya. Tumalikod siya at bahagyang inangat

ang suot na damit. I
catch a glimpse of his well-built body which made me swallowed repeadly. Isa sa mga
kahinaan ko? A
guy with a sexy back.

"Hoy, ano ka ba! Ibaba mo nga 'yang damit mo, baka may makakita pang iba diyan sa
sugat mo!" And
sexy body! Tama nga siya, his wound was healing, unlike yesterday. Halos sariwa pa
iyon kahapon
ngunit ngayon ay nagiging peklat na. He healed that fast.

Ibinaba niya ang damit at nagpatuloy sa kanyang ginagawa. Tinitigan ko siya mula sa
likuran. Bakit
pakiramdam ko ay mabait sa akin si Semper ngayon? Did he feel indebted because I
cooked and
bandaged his wound yesterday?

"Done," sambit niya at binaba ang hose. Lumapit siya sa gripo at pinatay iyon
habang nanatili akong
nakatayo at tinititigan ang bawat galaw niya. Humawak siya sa kanyang tiyan at
tumingin sa akin.
"Nagugutom ako, kumain muna tayo."

"May gagawin pa—" Hindi ko na natapos ang sasabihin dahil bigla na lamang niyang
hinawakan ang
wrist ko at hinila ako. Hindi ko alam kung bakit pero nagpatangay lamang ako sa
kanya. Agad kong
binawi ang kamay ko mula sa pagkakahawak niya nang makitang may mga estudyante na
sa gilid.

7/12
Dinala ako ni Semper sa canteen at umorder siya ng pagkain para sa aming dalawa.
Pagkatapos niyang
ilapag ang pagkain ay sinimulan na niyang papakin iyon samantalang nakatingin
lamang ako sa kanya.
Naninibago ako hindi lamang sa kanya kundi pati sa nararamdaman ko. Semper isn't
acting normal.
Well, he isn't normal at hindi normal ang ginagawa niya ngayong araw. Ang
nakakainis pa niyan ay hindi
rin normal ang nararamdaman ko. And why does he looks so alluring even when eating?

"Tititigan mo lang ba ako?" Tanong niya at nag-angat ng tingin. I lowered my eyes

at tiningnan ang
pagkaing nasa harap ko.

"Sigurado ka bang ayos ka na?" Tanong ko sa kanya at nagsimula nang sumubo.

"I'm good."

"Sinong nangtanggal sa gauze na nasa likod mo?"

"Moroni."

"Moroni?"

"My friend, Moroni," sagot niya. Hindi ko na siya kinulit tungkol sa kaibigan niya
at nagpatuloy na
lamang sa pagkain.

"Have you followed what I've been telling niyo?" Tanong niya.

"Na?"

"Iwasan si Daven. Don't go anywhere with him," tugon niya. Inilapag ko ang tinidor
ko. Babalik na naman
kami dito sa usapang ito.

"Hindi ko talaga maintindihan."

Tiningnan niya ako sa mga mata. "Sa tingin ko ay kailangan kong mapadali ang misyon
ko dito,
especially that I am feeling weird lately because of you."

Nanlaki ang mga mata ko. "Because of me?" Okay, nagmumukha na akong tanga sa pag-
uulit sa mga

8/12
Nanlaki ang mga mata ko. "Because of me?" Okay, nagmumukha na akong tanga sa pag-
uulit sa mga
sinasabi niya. "Hindi kita maintindihan."

"Don't be bothered by it. Kahit ako ay hindi ko maintindihan. All I know is that
you hate my presence
kaya kailangan ko nang gawin ang ipinunta ko dito."

Gusto ko sanang bawiin ang sinabi niya. Yep, I used to hate his presence, but it is
different now.
Hinahanap-hanap ko na ang presensya niya. Kung pwede nga lang ay hindi lamang
iisang subject ang
magkaklase kami— but no. Hindi ko sasabihin iyon. Never. Siguro ay dahil lamang
iyon sa pagbabago
niya lately. He's not as bad as I think, right?

"H-hanggang kailan mo ba ako kailangang bantayan?" Heck, I don't even know if I

used the right term.

"Until the third new moon," sagot niya sa akin. Third new moon, ibig sabihin ba ito
ay ilang buwan na
lamang ay mawawala na si Semper at babalik na siya kung saan man siya galing? Hindi
ko alam kung
bakit bigla na lamang akong nalungkot sa isiping iyon.

"I see."

"My... My... My... Look who's here."

Nag-angat ako ng paningin nang marinig ko ang boses ni Iradessa. Nasa tapat siya ng
mesa namin at
matamis ang ngiting iginagawad kay Semper samantalang matatalim na titig naman ang
sa akin.

"Ano na naman ba ang kailangan mo Iradessa?" Tanong ko sa kanya. I looked behind

her and found no
Daven, only her minions.

"Why are you galit na naman ba, Violet? I'm just here to make you receive my
invitation para sa pool
party of mine," maarteng sagot niya at sinabayan pa iyon ng pagngiwi. Ako pa ang
pinalabas niyang
masungit dito. Inilapag niya sa mesa ang kulay pink na invitation.

"Hindi ako interesado—"

"Okay." Kinuha niya ang invitation at bumaling kay Semper. "See you sa party,
Semper, ah? Don't limot
to bring the invitation I gave you, okay?"

Wait, what? Pupunta si Semper? I gave him an asking look at hinigit niya ang pink
na invitation mula sa
bulsa at pinakita iyon sa akin. Bago pa man umalis si Ira ay naagaw ko na sa kanya
ang invitation na
kanina lamang ay walang gatol na tinanggihan ko.

"On the second thought, I might not want to miss it," wika ko at ini-secure ang
invitation at nagbigay ng 9/12
"On the second thought, I might not want to miss it," wika ko at ini-secure ang
invitation at nagbigay ng
pekeng ngiti. "Thanks, by the way!"

Sa katunayan ay ayaw ko talagang pumunta. Not with Ira's party! Ngunit nang makita
ko ang invitation
ni Semper ay nagbago ang isip ko. Knowing Ira, alam kong may balak na naman siyang
gawin upang
akitin si Semper. I don't really believe her that she thinks he is gay.

"Okay then, I'll see you there in two nights," Ira said and before she left, I saw
her winked at Semper.
Ang landi talaga niya! How did Daven fall for her given that attitude?

Nang makaalis na si Iradessa ay tiningnan ko si Semper. Walang reaksyon ang mukha

niya at nagpatuloy
sa pagkain. "Pupunta ka?"

"Yes."

"Bakit?" tanong ko sa kanya.

"Daven will be there. Kailangan kong bantayan ang mga kilos niya," sagot niya. He
is still convinced that
Daven is the bad guy here. For me? Hindi ko alam. Ang alam ko lamang pinapalayo din
ako ni Daven kay
Semper. At ayaw kong lumayo kay Daven. Period.

"Iradessa thought you're gay," diretsong wika ko. "I heard her talking with someone
at the bar's
restroom, at sinasabing bakla ka raw."

"Gayun din naman ang inisip mo dati."

"No, not really— I mean that's because I heard it from her," sagot ko. Pinagduduhan
ko naman talaga
kung ano si Semper dati.

"So, you're going, too?"

"Ewan, hindi pa ako sigurado," sagot ko sa kanya.

"It's a pool party."

"Yup."

"Which means you have to wear proper outfits."

10/12
"Yup— what?!" Nanlaki ang mga mata ko. Kinuha ko ang invitation na isinalampak ko
sa likuran ng
upuan ko. It is really a pool party two nights from now! Naka-bold pa sa invitation
ang nakasulat na
kailangang magsuot ng swimsuit.

Hindi naman sa hindi pa ako nakapag-swimsuit sa buong buhay ko. Nagsi-swimsuit ako
kapag nasa
resort kami kapag family outing but I never wear a swimsuit with any of my
schoolmates seeing me! Not
when Daven or Semper is around! Nakakahiya kaya!

"Kung may tinatago ka, pwede ka namang hindi pumunta," wika ni Semper kasabay ng
pilyong ngiti.

"Excuse me, wala akong tinatago!" Hindi naman sa pagmamayabang pero namana ko naman
ang
maputi at flawless na kutis ni Mommy. Hindi rin ako mataba at saksakan ng bilbil at
cellulite. It's just
that hindi ako confident na magpakita ng sobrang balat.

"We'll see then."

Sinulyapan ko ang relo ko. Sampung minuto na lamang ay Macroeconomics class ko na.
"I think
kailangan ko ng umalis, may klase pa ako. Thanks for the food by the way."

Tumayo na ako at akmang aalis na nang marinig kong nagsalita si Semper. "Wait!"

Napahinto ako at dahan-dahang lumingon sa kanya. He rose from his seat at lumapit
sa akin nang
tuluyan. Diretso ang tingin niya sa mukha ko— specifically sa labi ko. I swallowed
few times at biglang
naging malakas ang pintig ng puso ko. When he stopped in front of me ay bigla
siyang yumuko, his eyes
still fixed on my lips and one of his hands reached for my nape.

Out of impulse, I closed my eyes and anticipated for a kiss at isang malambot na
bagay ang dumampi sa
labi ko. No, it wasn't his lips. It was a tissue paper!

Dahan-dahan kong binuksan ang mga mata at pinigilan ang labi kong magpakawala ng
frustrated na
ngiti. Pinahid niya ang labi ko gamit ang tissue at matapos iyon ay inilagay niya
ang tissue sa kamay ko.
May bahid iyon ng chocolate mula sa kinain kong chocolate mousse at lipstick.

"There," he said. "Aalis ka na may tsokolate sa mukha? At bakit ka napapikit?"

Tanong niya.

Naramdaman ko ang panginginit ng mukha ko. Wala akong maisip na tamang isagot sa
tanong niya.
Natagpuan ko na lamang ang sarili kong kinukusot ang mga mata.

"N-napuwing ak-ko." Please! Just believe in it!

11/12
"Ah, ganoon ba?"

"S-sa tingin k-ko ay male-late na ako." Bakit ba hindi ko man lamang maituwid ang
salita ko?!

"You can now go," sagot ni Semper at muling bumalik sa upuan niya.

"B-bye."

Nagmamadaling nilisan ko ang canteen. And I silently wished the ground will open up
and swallow me
alive.

12/12
Chapter 17: Remembered

Nanlaki ang mga mata ko habang tinitingnan ang papel na sinusulatan ko ng kung anu-
ano habang
nakikinig sa klase ko. I unconsciously doodled on the paper and scribbled Semper's
name with heart
details!

Heck, nagmumukha na akong high school student na nagkaroon ng crush. Mabuti na

lamang at hindi ko
sinubukang i-Flames ang pangalan ko sa pangalan ni Semper! Dali-daling kinuha ko
ang papel at tinupi
iyon. I got my bag and slipped it in between the pages of my notebook. Nakakahiya!
Baka makita pa iyon
ni Semper o ng kung sino mang kaklase ko!

"Violet..."

Napatingin ako sa katabi ko na mahinang sinambit ang pangalan ko. It was Ashley.

"Anong sinulat mo kanina?" Tanong niya na ikinataranta ko.

"Wala."

"Meron eh."

"Wala nga," sagot ko at nag-iwas ng tingin. Bakit ba kasi hindi ko kaklase si Nikki
sa subject na ito. Hindi
naman sa ayaw ko kay Ashley, hindi lang talaga kami close. Bahagi siya ng cheering
squad ng AU and we
have the prejudice that squad members are mean.
1/11
"Okay, sabi mo eh. So kailan natin gagawin ang report?" Tanong niya.

"Report?!"

"Hindi ka ba nakikinig? Sabi ni Ma'am na may reporting tayo at ang katabi natin ang
mga partner natin,
ibig sabihin ay magkasama tayo." She glanced at her notebook. "Chapter 8 ang ire-
report natin. Tapos
may case study pa."

Gusto kong paluin ang sarili ko. Kung anu-ano kasi ang iniisip ko kaya hindi ako
nakikinig ng maayos sa
discussion. "Let's divide the topic pagkatapos ng klase."

Ashley made a sorry face. "Sorry Violet, super busy kasi ang Athena Phoenix ngayon,
alam mo namang
papalapit na ang competition, 'di ba? Can we divide it some other time?" Tanong
niya. Hindi pa man ay
nais ko nang kamuhian si Ashley. Oh, I know this scene. I've been in this too many
times. Kunyari ay
abala sila and in the end ako lamang ang gagawa sa report namin at case study. I
will do all the work
while we all take the credits.

Pilit kong kinalma ang sarili. "Kailan ka hindi busy?"

"I don't know."

"Kahit kaunting time lang," mahinahon kong wika kahit gustong-gusto ko nang sabihin
sa kanya na dapat
unahin niya ang acads niya kaysa ano pa man.

"How about give me your number? Tatawagan kita kapag free time ko," nakangiting
wika niya. Pumayag
ako at isinulat sa isang papel ang phone number ko at ibinigay iyon sa kanya.

"Thanks, Violet!" She said at isinilid sa bag niya ang numero ko. Nagsilabasan na
ang mga kaklase namin
dahil dismissal na kaya inayos ko na rin ang mga gamit ko. Nauna nang nagpaalam si
Ashley sa akin.

Palabas na rin ako ng classroom nang namataan ko si Semper mula sa di kalayuan.

Nakasandal ito sa

2/11
Palabas na rin ako ng classroom nang namataan ko si Semper mula sa di kalayuan.
Nakasandal ito sa
pader at nakapamulsa. He slowly turns his head towards me as if he felt my
presence. Pagkatapos ay
tumuwid siya ng tayo at sinalubong ako. He was smiling while walking towards me.

Teka, ako ba talaga ang nginingitian niya? Tiningnan ko ang likuran ko ngunit wala
namang tao doon
kaya malamang ako ang nginingitian niya. He stopped in front of me.

"Tapos na ba ang klase mo?" Tanong niya sa akin. Ngayon ay sinasabayan niya ako ng
lakad.

"Anong ginagawa mo dito?"

"I came to fetch you," pasimpleng sagot niya samantalang bigla na lamang akong
napahinto at sinalakay
ng paru-paro ang sikmura ko. How can his simple words and gestures made me feel
this?

"A-ako?"

"Yup."

"Bakit?"

"Wala lang. Gusto lang kitang sunduin. Do you want to hang out at the field?"
Tanong niya sa akin. Agad
akong nag-iwas ng tingin sa kanya. Kailan pa ako naging hindi komportable sa
pakikipag-eye to eye
contact sa isang tao? Uh, maybe Semper is an exemption since he is not human.

I didn't say yes but I found myself walking with him on the field. May iilan doon
na naglalaro ng soccer
while Semper lead me to a bench. Bumalik sa alaala ko ang araw na unang nagtagpo
ang mga mata
namin ni Semper. He was in the middle of the field samantalang nasa bench naman ako
kasama si Nikki
but it seems like he heard my voice in my head when I silently wished that he would
looked at my way.

"Dito kita unang beses na nakita," wika ko sa kanya habang ang mga mata ay nasa mga
lalaking
naglalaro ng soccer.

"For me, this is where we made eye contact. I want to kick the ball, but I heard
someone saying she
wanted me to look at her direction," wika niya.

"Mali ka yata ng narinig!" Namumulang sagot ko. God, I swear I only say it in my
mind but how come he
heard it? "Kaya mong magsalita sa isipan ko pero hindi mo kayang basahin ang
iniisip ko."

"Tama ka. But I have the urge to look at your way and then I find you staring at
me, too," sagot niya. Ano
ba naman 'tong si Semper! How can he say all these things without feeling awkward
samantalang ako!?
Halos mapugto na ang hininga ko!
"Bakit ka nga pala nakatingin sa akin nung araw na yun?"

Argh, bakit ba nagagawa niyang itanong ang mga bagay na iyon? I waved my hands in
front of him.
"Kalimutan mo na nga iyon. You scared me that day kaya ayokong maalala pa iyon."

He bit his lower lip at itinukod ang isang kamay. Nakatingin siya ngayon sa field
kaya malaya kong
napagmamasdan ang gilid ng kanyang mukha. He has a perfect profile. Chiselled jaw,
pointed-nose,
prominent cheeks, same beautiful physical features.

"How's your... girlfriend?" tanong ko sa kanya. Gusto kong batukan ang sarili ko.
Sa dinami-rami ng topic
na pwede kung buksan ay 'yun pa talaga ang naisipan ko.

"I don't know. We haven't talk lately," sagot niya ng hindi man lamang ako
sinusulyapan.

"P-paano naman kayo nag-uusap?"

"Sa panaginip."

5/11
"Sa panaginip."

Sandaling inisip ko na nagbibiro siya ngunit seryoso ang mukha niya at muling
nagsalita. "She will
appear in my dreams. Dati ay halos gabi-gabi kami kung nag-uusap but then lately
she wasn't there.
Mag-isa lang ako sa panaginip ko at hinihintay siya."

"Kaya niyong pumasok sa mga panaginip?" Tanong ko and he nodded.

"That's how angels communicate to humans," sagot niya na ikinatungo ko. Kaya pala
halos lahat ng mga
testimony na may kinalamanan sa anghel ay nangyayari sa panaginip.

"Hindi mo ba siya nami-miss?" Okay, it's a question that I don't want to ask but I
did.

"Gusto mo bang kumain?" Pag-iiba niya sa usapan. Sa tingin ko ay ayaw niya munang
pag-usapan iyon.
Marahil ay nagtatampo siya sa girlfriend niya kaya ayaw niya munang maalala ito.

"Ng?"

"Street food." Tumayo siya at hinawakan ang braso ko. "Come, let's eat outside at
nang makilala mo si
Moroni."

"Sino nga ulit si Moroni?" tanong ko sa kanya habang nakasunod. Ilang beses ko ng
narinig mula sa
kanya ang pangalan ni Moroni pero hindi ko alam kung sino nga ba ito.

"He's a friend. Dati siyang anghel— but now he's fallen."

"Fallen? Why?" Curious kong tanong.

"He lusts over a human. Dati ay manaka-manaka siyang bumababa sa langit upang
makipagtalik sa tao.
Nalaman iyon ng mga archangel kaya pinatapon siya sa lupa. His wings were ripped at
habang
tumatanda siya ay nagiging kuba na siya," kwento ni Semper. Nakarating na kami sa
pinaradahan niya
ng motor. He tossed me a pink helmet, the one that he let me use before. Hindi ko
alam na palagi na
pala niyang dala iyon.

"Ibig sabihin ay kuba na siya ngayon?" Tanong ko habang inaayos sa ulo ang helmet.
6/11
"Yeah. He regretted everything he did pero hindi na siya makakabalik sa langit."

"Pero kaibigan mo siya?" Sumampa ako sa likuran niya at pinaandar naman niya ang
kanyang
motorsiklo.

"Yes. Siya ang naghanap ng matitirhan ko at siya rin ang nagbibigay sa akin ng pera
bilang panggasta
noong bago pa lamang ako dito. Ngayon ay nagpa-part time ako bilang mekaniko sa
carshop na malapit
sa tinitirhan ko."

"Paano naman ang tuition mo?" Hindi naman sa pang-aano pero mahal ang tuition ng
AU. It may not be
as expensive as other universities pero mahal pa rin iyon para sa isang nagpa-part
time lamang.

"Moroni took care of it dati pa lamang," sagot niya. "Dati na kaming magkaibigan
noong anghel pa siya
pero ngayon ay mas matanda na siya kaysa sa akin. Humans age and die while angels
doesn't."

Hindi na ako nagkomento pa dahil nakarating na kami sa paroroonan. He stopped on

the side of the road
kung saan maraming mga alacart na nagtitinda ng kung anu-anong mga pagkain.

Lumapit siya sa mga à la carte at kumuha ng nakatuhog na fishball at inabot iyon sa

akin. Tinanggap ko
naman iyon at nagpasalamat sa kanya. I dipped the food in the sauce at kinain iyon.
Gayundin ang
ginawa niya.

"Kumakain ka pala ng mga ganito?" Tanong niya sa akin.

"Oo naman. Hindi naman ako maarte," sagot ko sa kanya at nagpatuloy sa pagkain.
Kumain din kami ng
squid roll at tempura at kung anu-ano pa hanggang sa dumating na ang hinihintay
namin.

"Moroni," wika ni Semper nang dumating ang kaibigan. Tinanggap niya ang kamay nito
at binunggo sa
braso. Maybe their gesture when they met.

Bahagya akong natakot nang makita ang kuba. Napakalaki ng bukol nito sa likod na
halos 90° na ang
kanyang pagkakayuko. Half of his face was scarred, dahilan upang matakot ang ibang
mga estudyante
na nasa paligid. Pinigilan ko naman ang sarili kong matakot kahit na nais ko na
ring umalis sa harapan
niya pero hindi ko pa rin maiwasang mapahawak ng mahigpit sa T-shirt ni Semper.

If it wasn't for his scar and hunchback, Moroni would have been a pretty boy.
Maganda ang hubog ng
mukha nito— ang bahaging walang malaking peklat.

"Ikaw pala si Violet, ikinagagalak kong makilala ka," sabi ni Moroni at inabot sa
akin ang kanang kamay.
Nag-aalangan man ay tinanggap ko pa rin iyon. "Palagi kang naikukwento ni Semper sa
akin. Ikaw pala
7/11
Nag-aalangan man ay tinanggap ko pa rin iyon. "Palagi kang naikukwento ni Semper sa
akin. Ikaw pala
ang dahilan kung bakit bumaba siya kahit na ipinagbabawal."

Ngumiti ako sa kanya at bahagyang tinapunan ng tingin si Semper. Inilibot ni Moroni

ang paningin sa
paligid at napansin na masama ang tingin ng mga tao sa kanya samantalang natatakot
naman ang iba.
Napayuko siya at muling nagsalita.

"Paano? Mauuna na ako, napadaan lang ako dito saglit upang makilala ka Violet,
aalis na rin ako,"
paalam niya.

"That fast?" Semper asked.

"May pupuntahan pa kasi ako," sagot ni Moroni. Tinapik niya ang beywang ni Semper
at tumalikod na sa
amin. Wala namang nagawa si Semper kundi panuorin na lamang ang kaibigan habang
papalayo.

"He hates the way people look at him," wika ni Semper habang tinatanaw ang
kaibigan. "Naawa ako sa
kanya, people will judge him by his appearance gayong napakabuti niya."

"Ilang taon na siya dito sa lupa?" I asked.

"Mahigit dalawampung taon na."

"Wala na bang paraan upang makabalik siya sa pagiging anghel?" Kahit ako ay naaawa
rito. Moroni
must have suffered enough from people's judgment and criticisms about his
appearance.

"There is one way," sagot ni Semper. "Usap-usapan lamang iyon ng mga anghel at
hindi ko alam kung
totoo. It's said that they can regain their wings if an angel swear to give up
their wings for them."

"Magsasakripisyo ang isa pang anghel?"

Tumango si Semper. "Yup, that means they will trade places. Walang anghel ang nais
gumawa niyon."

"Kung gayon ay habang-buhay na siyang ganoon?" Kahit naman ako! Kung naging anghel
ako ay ayaw
kong makipagpalit ng posisyon kay Moroni.

"Some steal away other's wings," pagpapatuloy ni Semper.

8/11
"Some steal away other's wings," pagpapatuloy ni Semper.

"Ibig sabihin?"

"Nanakawin nila ang pakpak ng isang anghel but then it can only happen every new
moon of Tammuz."

"Tammuz?" Nagtatakang tanong ko.

"It's the fourth month of the ecclesiastical year on the Hebrew calendar. It's the
month of sin of the
golden calf."

Nakatingin lang ako sa kanya. I don't know if I really get what he is saying.
Pagkatapos ay hinila na niya
ako palayo roon matapos magbayad. Muli kaming sumakay sa motorsiklo niya. Akala ko
ay may
pupuntahan pa kami ngunit naging pamilyar ang daan na itatahak namin. It was my way
towards home.

Nais kong madismaya pero pinigilan ko ang sarili ko. Truth is, I still want to
spend more time with him
but he's taking me home already. Isinarili ko na lamang ang pagkadismaya ko. For a
moment I forgot
that Semper is a man in a relationship. Kahit naman siguro ako, hindi magandang
tingnan na may
kasama akong iba gayong may boyfriend na ako. That's the case with Semper.

Nang dumating kami sa tapat ng bahay namin ay bumaba na ako sa motorsiklo niya.
Tinanggal ko ang
suot na helmet at iniabot iyon sa kanya. Nagulat ako nang tinanggal din niya ang
kanyang helmet at
bumaba. Nagtatakang napatingin ako sa kanya.

"Hindi mo ba ako yayayain sa loob?" Tanong niya. My jaw dropped open. So he doesn't
take me home.
He took US home. Pinigilan ko ang ngiti sa labi ko at binuksan na lamang ang gate.

"P-pasok ka."

"I promised your Mom that I'll drop by some other time. Nangako din ako kay Laven
Der na maglalaro
kami, so here I am," nakangiti niyang wika habang papasok.

I puffed some air. So, basically, he isn't here for me. Para kay Mommy at kay Lav.
Padabog na sinara ko
ang gate at naunang naglakad. Nakakainis! Naiinis ako sa sarili ko!

Padabog din na inabot ko ang doorknob pero nagulat ako nang inabot din pala iyon ni
Semper para
buksan. His hands landed on mine at napatigil ako dahil sa kakaibang init na dulot
ng kanyang palad. He
was right behind me, so close and his scent was so clear to me. A mixture of mint
and bath soap.
Napakalapit niya sa akin dahil ramdam ko ang dibdib niya mula sa likuran ko. It was
warm and nice, but
before I wished for another second of it, he pulled off.
9/11
"Sorry," mahinang wika niya at bahagyang lumayo sa akin. Saka ko lamang nabawi ang
sarili ko.
Muntikan na akong malunod dahil sa kakaibang sensasyon na dulot ni Semper. I open
the door with my
shaky hands at binuksan iyon ng maluwang.

"Nandito na ako," tawag ko sa loob. Hindi gaya ng madalas kong nadadatnan kapag
umuwi ako, hindi
nakabukas ang T.V. Mom usually turns the TV on kahit pa nasa kusina siya. Minsan
naman ay nasa sofa
lang si Lav at nakatihaya habang hawak-hawak ang kanyang tablet at naglalaro. But
today, it's oddly
silent.

I pulled my phone from my pocket at tiningnan kung may text ba mula kay Mommy.
Kapag aalis siya ay
ipagbibigay-alam niya iyon sa akin. No new messages.

"Mom? Lav?"

Tahimik pa rin ang buong kabahayan. Pumasok ako sa loob at tiningnan ang kusina at
gaya ng
inaasahan ko ay wala roon si Mommy. Bumalik ako sa sala at napansin na naka-kunot
ang noo ni Semper
at inililibot ang paningin sa kabuoan ng bahay.

"Wala yata si—" Napatahimik ako nang biglang itinaas ni Semper ang kanyang kamay at
sinenyasan ako
na tumahimik. Itinikom ko ang bibig ko at agad na lumapit sa kanya. May magnanakaw
ba sa loob ng
bahay namin?

Semper pulled me to his side and hid me behind his back. Nauna siyang naglakad
habang nasa likuran
niya ako. He checked the kitchen but no one was there.

"Anong meron?" mahinang bulong ko. Bigla akong kinabahan. What if may magnanakaw
dito? Okay lang
sana kung magnakaw lang ang pakay, but what if gahasain pa ako and worst, patayin,
chop-chopin at
itapon sa ilog? Argh! Why am I even scaring myself more?

Napahigpit ang hawakan ko sa laylayan ng damit na suot ni Semper. I was yanking his
shirt down
because of fear. Bigla ko na lamang napansin ang pagdilim ng paligid. Tila ba
biglang lumalim ang gabi
sa loob ng bahay. Something must be wrong with the electricity.

Bigla na lamang akong natigilan. I have this feeling that I've been to this kind of
darkness before. It was
terrifying. Saan ko nga na nakita ang ganitong eksena? Mas lalo akong nagulat nang
makita ang tubig sa
aquarium. It was moving— upward in a slow motion na tila ba may humigop niyon! Then
it dawned me!
Something like this happened at the foam party!

Tila isang jigsaw puzzle na bigla na lamang nabuo ang alaala na iyon sa isipan ko.
The memories now
filled the gaps that kept me wondering for nights!
10/11
The drink, the moon, the tipsy feeling, the dark cloud that covers the moon! Lahat
ng iyon ay naging
malinaw na sa isipan ko! Lahat ng nangyari sa party, ang ilang oras na paghihintay
ko kay Semper! Ang
ulan, ang lalaking nakaitim, ang paggalaw ng ulan pataas!

Bigla akong napabitaw kay Semper. My head started to ache, but I manage to take a
few steps away
from him.

"Stop it!" Sigaw ko sa kanya. From my blurry vision, I saw him took few steps
towards me. "Wag kang
lalapit sa akin!"

Ngunit tila walang narinig si Semper. Patuloy lang siya sa paghakbang papalapit sa
akin at habang tila
nilalamon ako ng kadiliman ay naabot na niya ako. He gently cupped my cheeks.

"I'm sorry, Violet," narinig kong wika niya at hinipan ang mga mata ko na sanhi
upang tuluyan nang
maging itim ang paligid.

11/11
Chapter 18: You Let Me In

Nang iminulat ko ang mga mata ko ay nakatunghay si Lav sa akin. Ilang beses akong
napakurap at pilit
na ina-adjust ang paningin ko. Napabalikwas ako ng bangon at umayos ng upo.

"Anong ginagawa mo dito, Lav?" Inilibot ko ang paningin. Why am I sweating this
much? Thank God, Lav
is here so probably Mom too. Anong nangyari? Bakit nasa kwarto ako? Ang huling
naalala ko ay nasa sala
ako kasama si Semper!

Si Semper! He tried to— ano nga ang tawag sa ginawa niya sa akin? Yep, I still
remember the memories
that just come to light in my mind. Ang nangyari sa party... Kanina... It seems
impossible but now I can
clearly remember it. And now Semper did the same thing but for what reason?

Bigla kong hinigpitan ang pagkakahawak kay Lav. "Saan kayo galing ni Mommy kanina?
Okay lang ba
kayo? Nasaan si Semper? Bakit nandito ako?"

"Sandali lang, Ate, ha?" Tinanggal ni Lav ang pagkakahawak ko sa kanya. "Bakit ba
ang dami mong
tanong?" My brother is bratty at times and he is just acting like one today.

"Kanina... kanina ay..." No, hindi ko dapat sabihin iyon kay Lav. He's too young
for this. Nakatingin lang
siya sa akin at hinintay ang sagot ko. Pagkatapos ay napakamot siya sa kanyang ulo.

"Ewan ko sa'yo, Ate! Kakain na tayo! Baba ka na." He jumped off from my bed. "Umuwi
na nga pala si
Kuya Cool kasi may lakad pa raw siya."

1/8
"Kuya Cool?" Bigla akong kinabahan at nanlamig ang mga kamay ko.

"Si Kuya Cool. Grabe ang cool niya kanina habang naglalaro kami at—"

"Naglaro kayo?" I'm sure my face is so pale right now. I look so stupid repeating
the words of my brother.

"Oo."

"When?"

"Kanina 'nung dumating kayo." Bagot na bagot ang reaksyon ni Lav.

Mas lalo akong nanlamig. For what reason, that I don't know. Nang dumating kami ay
wala sina Mommy
at Lav. The house is a bit eerie and something just happened.

"Nakalimutan mo na bang kasama mo kanina si Kuya Cool pagdating mo? Seriously, Ate,
please come
back to your senses. Pagdating niyo ay nagpaalam ka na magbibihis pero hindi na
bumaba. Nang
tiningnan ka ni Mommy, tulog ka kaya hindi ka na lamang niya ginising nang
nagmeryenda kami,"
nakangiting wika ni Lav.

Meryenda? Ibig sabihin... My eyes immediately turned towards the digital clock on
my side. It was
quarter to nine. Nang dumating kami kanina ay alas sais na nang hapon at ngayon ay
quarter to nine.

"N-nandito kayo kanina nang dumating kami?" I'm seriously shaking in fear right now
lalo na nang
tumango si Lav. Naiinis na siya sa paulit-paulit na tanong ko. But I remember it
right. No one was here at
unti-unting binabalot ng kadiliman ang bahay. The water was moving upward but why
does Lav claim
otherwise?

"Bumaba ka na," Lav said before disappearing by the door. Niyakap ko ang sarili ko
at pilit na kinalma.
Bakit ganoon? Ano ang kailangan ni Semper sa akin? Iwinaksi ko na lamang iyon sa
isipan at agad na
naghilamos upang lalo pang gisingin ang diwa ko bago tuluyang bumaba ng silid.
2/8
When dinner was over, bumalik ako sa silid ko at nahulog sa malalim na pag-iisip. I
know that there are
things in life that cannot be explained just like what happened. It can be
explained but I know Semper
will refuse to explain it.

Should I visit a doctor? Nababaliw na ba ako? Tiningnan ko ang sarili ko sa

salamin. My eyes were a little
deep and dark circles started to appear. Nakaka-stress 'to! Seriously, why am I
even in this mess?

I refused to study tonight. I want to rest early even if I doubt that I can rest. I
went to the kitchen at
naghanda ng gatas at ininom iyon bago ako tahimik na nahiga sa kama. Few moments
after, I was fast
asleep.

It was a cold, dark place. It felt like it's cold and lonely in here. And this dark
alley is not familiar at all.
Nasaan nga ba ako? Bakit parang kakaiba ang pakiramdam ko? Tumingin ako sa likuran
ko ngunit gaya
ng nakikita ko sa harap ko ay tila nasa isang madilim na tunnel ako. Ni wala man
lamang akong
matanaw na liwanag mula sa dulo ng kinaroroonan ko. I started to feel weird.
Pakiramdam ko ay hindi
ako nag-iisa dito. I keep my senses awake and vigilant for possible perils.

"Violet..."

That voice! It's a voice that brings chills down my spine. How did he follow me in
this unfamiliar place?
And first of all, why am I even here?

"Violet..."

4/8
"Violet..."

Unti-unti ko nang nakikita siya mula sa dilim. His eyes were the same boring gems—
but still not pleasant
to stare unto because you might get lost.

"Semper... Please wag kang lumapit sa akin." I was surprised that I was still able
to say it despite the
intense fear I am feeling right now.

"Violet, wag kang matakot sa akin—"

"How can I? Alam ko na ang lahat Semper!"

"Not everything!" He stepped forward and I took a step backward. "Makinig ka sa

akin."

Tinakpan ko ang mga tainga ko. "No! Hindi ako makikinig sa'yo!" Who knows he will
make me forget
again and erase whatever memory I have!

"Violet—"

"Lumayo ka sa akin!"

"Violet, please, just listen—" His words were cut by my loud cry for help.

"Tulong! Tulungan niyo ako!" Okay, I'm desperate. I don't want this anymore dahil
baka mabaliw lamang
ako.

His pointer finger gently scratched his temple. "Mapapaos ka na lang sa kasisigaw
diyan, walang
makakarinig sa'yo."

That statement made me stop. "Anong ibig mong sabihin?" Mas trumiple pa yata ang
kaba ko. I'm
amazed how my legs were able to hold me this long.

"Nasa panaginip mo tayo," kalmadong wika niya. "So, no matter how much you cry for
help, no one can
hear you."

"P-panaginip?" Is that even possible?

"Hmm. I told you, we, angels can invade people's dreams. We communicate through
dreams."
5/8
"No, hindi 'yan totoo!"

"I visited your dream to tell you something. Hindi ako ang may gawa ng lahat ng
iyon kanina— or even
at the party where I brought you."

His words were too much to think. Una ay ang kinaroroonan namin. Nasa panaginip ko
kami? And then
what? Ang kanina at ang nangyari sa party.

"Hindi ako naniniwala sa'yo! You tried to... to kill me at the party! Ang ulan, ang
buwan... Ang kirot sa ulo
ko. Everything! It was too much to bear—"

"That's why I deleted your memories. I know it's too much for you to bear,"
paliwanag niya. "Listen Violet,
I am having doubts about this special mission that I'm on. Alam ko sa simula pa
lang na hindi ito tama
dahil hindi ito pormal na misyon na mula mismo sa higher Power. This is a request
from Jophiel."

Yep, Jophiel, his girlfriend. Whatever.

"But there's more which doesn't make sense here," tila naguguluhang wika niya.

"You invading my dreams doesn't make sense!" I shouted at his face. Sinubukan kong
kurutin ang sarili
ko ng ilang beses and yeah, it hurts, but this is a dream. Right? But why does it
hurt?

"Pakiramdam ko ay may panganib..."

"You yourself is the danger." Oops, bakit hindi ko napigilan ang bibig ko. Can he
kill me in my dreams?

"No. Sa tingin ko ay may pahamak na umaaligid sa akin... Sa atin..."

Napakunot ang noo ko. "Sa atin? Did you drag me in this mess?"

"Hindi ko alam. But you have to be careful." He took a step forward at ako naman ay
napaatras
hanggang sa naramdaman ko ang malamig na pader. This is the danger that I'm talking
about. The
danger that Semper is so close to me. It might give me a heart attack any moment by
now.

"A-at sino naman ang umaaligid sa a-atin?"

"Nephilims."
6/8
"Neph— what?" Ano? Is he bluffing now o sadyang tinatakot niya lang ako? If yes,
fine! I'm scared right
now!

"Nephilims or maybe fallen angels. Gaya ng sinabi ko sa'yo dati, Daven could be a
fallen angel or a
Nephil."

"Nababaliw ka na, Semper," buo ang boses na wika ko. Sa sulok ng isipan ko ay nag-
iisip ako ng paraan
at makaalis ako sa panaginip na ito. Masakit ang mga kurot na ginagawa ko sa sarili
ko but it isn't
enough to wake myself up.

"Hindi ako nagbibiro, Violet. Kaya dito kita kinausap dahil ito lamang ang paraan
na walang ibang
makakarinig. Higher angels can hear us in the dimension at dito, walang makakarinig
sa atin."

Mas lalo akong lumayo. "Ginugulo mo na ako kapag gising ako, pati ba naman sa
pagtulog ko? Leave me
alone!"

"No, you're not asleep. I crept in your dreams as you lie awake. So basically,
you're the one who let me
in," sagot niya habang diretsong nakatingin.

"Really? Kung ganun ay ako na rin mismo ang magpapalabas sa'yo dito!" Before he can
protest, I was
able to bite my hand at the side of the thumb with all my might, totally enduring
the pain.

Napabalikwas ako ng bangon. Malakas ang kabog ng dibdib ko at habol ko ang hininga.
No Semper
around, gone was the dark tunnel but I still feel scared. Minasahe ko ang ulo ko
habang inililibot ko ang
paningin sa kabuoan ko. I guess I have no other way to escape Semper. Patuloy lang
ako sa
pagmamasahe sa ulo ko nang mapansin ko ang ilang tulo ng dugo sa puting kumot ko.

My hand was bleeding. Iyon ay ang bahagi na kinagat ko sa panaginip ko. Nang
sulyapan ko ang braso
ko, naroon din ang ilang marka na dulot ng pagkurot ko sa sarili ko.

Semper was right. I wasn't asleep. I was lying but awake.

Chapter 19: Naked

"Anong nangyari diyan sa kamay mo?" Tanong ni Nikki nang makita ang gauze na nasa
kamay ko. Gusto
kong takpan iyon dahil nagkasugat at may marka pa ng ngipin ko. Hanggang ngayon ay
hindi ko pa rin
lubusang maisip kung paano iyon nangyari. But it's real. Totoong pinasok ni Semper
ang panaginip ko.
Nasa loob kami ng panaginip ko at gising ang diwa ko.

"Nasugatan."
"Nasugatan ng..?"

"Kutsilyo."

"Kutsilyo? Hello? Sa tingin mo maniniwala ako?" Isiningkit niya ang mga matang
nakatingin sa akin na
tila ba sinasabi niyang alam niya kung kailan ako nagsisinungaling at kailan hindi.

Bakit ba may mga kaibigan tayong hindi na lamang manahimik kapag nakikitang
iniiwasan natin ang
isang topic? "Nikks, leave my wound alone, okay?" Niligpit ko ang mga gamit ko at
tumayo na.
"Pupuntahan ko na muna si Ashley para pag-usapan ang report."

"Bye!"

Lumabas na ako ng library at tinawagan si Ashley. Itinext niya ako kagabi at

sinabing iyon ang numero
niya ngunit nang nagreply ako at sinabing hatiin na namin ang report ay hindi na
ito nagreply pa.
1/10
Ilang beses na nag-ring ang cellphone nito ngunit walang sumasagot kaya ipinasya
kong puntahan na
lamang ito sa gym. Pagdating ko sa gym ay naglalaro ang basketball team at nasa
gilid naman ang
cheering squad at panay ang tawanan.

Namataan ko si Ashley na nakaupo lamang doon at nakikitawa rin. I got my phone and
dialed her
number while my eyes maintained my gaze on her. Nang nag-ring ang kanyang cellphone
ay tiningnan
niya iyon ngunit hindi sinagot. What?!

She's purposely ignoring my calls? Ni-dial ko ulit ang number niya ngunit inignora
niya iyon. Wala akong
ibang choice kundi ang lapitan siya. Bahagya pa siyang nagulat nang makita ako.

"V-violet, ikaw pala..."

"I called you," wika ko sa kanya.

"Pasensya ka na, sobrang busy kasi kanina kaya hindi ko nasagot ang tawag mo."

Busy? Busy sa kakatawa? I doubt if they're doing something important right now.

"Hatiin na natin ang topics at nang makagawa ka na ng presentation mo," wika ko sa

kanya at
tinangkang ilabas ang libro mula sa bag ko ngunit pinigilan niya ako.

"Naku, you can just give me any topics, i-text mo lang. Medyo busy talaga kami
ngayon," wika ni Ashley.
Nagpigil akong taasan siya ng kilay.

"Any topic?"

"Oo, okay lang sa akin. I-text mo lang, ha? So, paano Violet? Babalik na ako roon,
okay? Busy talaga ang
cheering squad," wika niya at bago pa man ako makasagot ay tinalikuran na niya ako
at bumalik sa mga
kasamahan na nakaupo lang naman doon. Kinalma ko ang sarili ko. Bibigyan ko na
lamang ng madaling
topic si Ashley. Our presentation will be graded by pairs kaya kailangang
magtulungan kaming dalawa.

2/10
topic si Ashley. Our presentation will be graded by pairs kaya kailangang
magtulungan kaming dalawa.

I took a deep breath and made my way towards the exit. Hindi pa man ako tuluyang
nakakalayo ay
tumilapon ang basketball sa gawi ko at bago pa man ako matamaan ay nakuha na iyon
ni Daven.

He was wearing his jersey at pawis na pawis, but it doesn't makes him less
gorgeous. Si Daven ang
tipong pawis na pawis na nga ay hindi pa rin dugyot tingnan.

"Ayos ka lang ba, Violet?" tanong niya sa akin. There was a little tenderness in
his eyes, and it caused
my stomach to feel the butterflies.

"H-hindi naman ako natamaan."

Inihagis niya ang bola sa mga kasamahan niya na nasa gitna. "Mabuti naman kung
ganoon."

I gave him a shy smile. Naiinis ako sa sarili ko dahil hindi pa rin ako nakaka-get
over kay Daven. Is there
an easy way to unlove someone?

4/10
"Siya nga pala, pupunta ka ba sa pool party ni Ira mamayang gabi?" Tanong niya sa
akin and I
suppressed my frowns. Just when I started to bring back all our good memories
together ay saka naman
niya pinapaalala si Iradessa— his current girlfriend.

"P-pool party?" Oo nga pala. Iradessa invited me, alam kong out of formality lamang
iyon but why do I
feel like going tonight? Come to think of it, Semper said he will be there to
observe, and watch Daven
closely. Totoo nga kaya ang mga pinagsasabi ni Semper tungkol kay Daven? Is he
really a fallen angel, a
Nephilim or whatsoever?

Semper proved to me that he isn't a normal human. Mapapatunayan din kaya niyang
hindi nga rin tao si
Daven?

"Yes, and I hope to see you there," wika ni Daven. How dare him to say that. Gusto
niya ba talaga akong
pumunta roon? Para ano? Para makita silang dalawa ni Iradessa? Does he really love
to hurt me that
much?

Kung pupunta ako roon ay para ko lang din sinasaktan ang sarili ko. But going there
can benefit me, too.
Bakit iaasa ko pa kay Semper ang pagmamatyag kay Daven kung magagawa ko rin naman
iyon? If
Daven is not human too, then I will confirm it on my own.

"S-susubukan ko." Nagsimula akong humakbang palayo ngunit bigla na lamang akong
hinawakan ni
Daven sa braso.

"Violet..." He paused and looked at me desperately. Tila nagtatalo ang kalooban

niya ngunit saglit
lamang iyon.

"Yes?"

"Have you considered my request to you?" He asked. Request? What request? Ah, maybe
the one which
concerns Semper.

Tinitigan ko siya saglit. "Bigyan mo ako ng rason Daven and no matter how crazy it
is, susubukan kong
maniwala."

He opened his mouth na tila ba may sasabihin ngunit sa huli ay itinikom niya lamang
iyon. "Just do it."

Nakakainis talaga ang mga taong ang lakas mandikta sa buhay natin at hindi man
lamang sinasabi kung
bakit. Tinanggal ko ang kamay niyang nakahawak sa braso ko. Bahagya naman siyang
nalungkot sa
ginawa ko. Hindi ko mawari kung sino sa kanila ni Semper ang nagsisinungaling but
from how I see it,
Semper could be the one lying.
5/10
"Mauna na ako sa'yo," paalam ko sa kanya at tuluyang lumabas ng gym. I never
imagined myself
walking away from Daven. He was my everything and I think he still is. Kaya lamang
ay may mga bagay
na hindi pwede. Not everything happens according to how you want it to be. Kung
hanggang doon na
nga lang ba talaga kami, kailangan kong tanggapin iyon. It's so hard to stop loving
him. Para lamang
iyong pinipigilan mo ang pagkurap, the more you try hard to stop blinking, the more
it hurts. Iwinaksi ko
na lamang siya sa isipan ko at tuluyan ng lumayo roon.

***

I could have just stayed at home and enjoy my slumber. Or stay at home and read
books, watch movies,
study my lessons or play with Lav. Pero mula nang pinasok ni Semper ang panaginip
ko ay natatakot na
akong matulog. He did it and I know he could still do it.

Nang sinubukan kong magpaalam kina Mommy at Daddy na pupunta ako sa party ni Ira ay
pumayag
sila. My parents always want me to enjoy my teenage life. I don't know if I am
really welcome here but
nevertheless, I found myself wearing my bikini and topped it with my dress. And now
here I am, sa harap
ng bahay nina Ira kung saan naririnig ko ang ingay na nagmumula sa kasiyahan sa
loob. I was able to
arrive here, thanks to the address on her invitation. Ngayon ay tila nagdadalawang
isip na ako kung
tutuloy ba ako but before I could even change my mind, I heard a voice from behind.

"Violet! Oh my God, nandito ka rin? And I thought you hate Ira."

It was Nikki at kasama niya ang isang lalaki. Nikki is the type who always have
this so-called flavor of the
week or the night or whatsoever. The two of us are totally opposite pools pero
kahit ganoon ay
nagkasundo pa rin naman kami. She smiled at the guy at sinabi rito na mauna na sa
loob. Nang pumasok
na ang lalaki ay tiningnan niya ako na tila ba nagde-demand ng explanation kung
bakit nandito ako.

I cannot tell her the real reason. Hindi ko pwedeng sabihin sa kanya na nandito ako
dahil nais kong
kumpirmahin kung sino kina Semper at Daven ang nagsisinungaling. Na nagpunta ako
rito dahil gusto
kong alamin kung hindi nga ba normal na tao si Daven. Na nagpunta ako rito dahil
gusto kong makita si
Daven. She will surely think that I'm crazy because of those reasons.

"I'm bored."

"So, coming here doesn't bore you? Seriously gurl, sadista ka ba? Bakit sinasaktan
mo ang sarili mo? At
masokista ka ba? Bakit tila gustong-gusto mo namang nasasaktan ka?"Wika ni Nikki.
She always hits
everything right.
6/10
Bakit ko nga ba sinasaktan ang sarili ko? But they say that you should get use to
the pain until it hurts
no more. I guess that's what I'm doing right. Hinila ako ni Nikki palapit sa kanya.

"Sige na nga! Assignment mo 'yan, ha? Sagutan mo 'yan kapag nakahanda ka na ng

sagot," nakangising
wika niya at umabrisete sa akin habang papasok kami sa loob ng bahay.

Iradessa organized the party dahil nag-out of town ang parents niya. Right now the
surrounding is wet
and wild. There were colored lights everywhere. May mga inumin, may barbeque at
lahat ng naroon ay
nakapang-swimming attire. Guys were on their board shorts and sando while others
are topless. Ang iba
naman ay nasa pool at kasama ang mga babaeng naka-bikini na sobrang nipis ng
strings at pakiramdam
ko ay anumang oras ay mapuputol ang mga iyon.

Hinarap ako ni Nikki. "Wait, are you prepared?"

"Prepared for what?"

Bahagya akong napasigaw ng bigla na lamang niyang inangat ang suot kong damit.
She's checking my
swimsuit! Pwede naman niyang itanong, bakit— arrgh!

"Ay, prepared! Let's go!"

Hinila ako ni Nikki patungo sa gilid kung saan may nag-iihaw ng barbeque. She
picked up some and
handed me one.

"My.. My... My! Look who's here."

I mentally rolled my eyes at nilingon ang pinagmulan ng boses sa likuran ko. It was
the host of the party
at kasama niya si Daven. Her arm is swirled on Daven's arm. Daven is wearing a
black sando and shorts
at halos idikit na ni Iradessa ang katawan niyang naghuhumiyaw sa suot niyang red
two-piece swimsuit.

"Hello, Violet, I'm so happy that you make punta here in my party," she said at
ngumiti ng peke.
Bahagya kong tinapunan ng tingin si Daven na seryosong-seryoso ang mukha. He tried
to remove Ira's
arm ngunit daig pa yata nito ang linta dahil sa tindi ng pagkakakapit niya.

"You invited me," walang ganang wika ko.

"Of course, my invitation is sumobra pala so I give it to you na lang," wika niya.
Geez, she doesn't have
to say it on my face na kaya lang niya ako inimbita ay dahil sumobra ang invitation
niya. "And, oh,"
maarteng kinumpas niya ang daliri upang ituro ang kabuoan ko. "Make sure you get
rid of that ugly
dress, okay? Dapat naka-swimsuit ka if you make lusong to the pool, okay?"

7/10
dress, okay? Dapat naka-swimsuit ka if you make lusong to the pool, okay?"

"Of course," si Nikki ang sumagot. "Baka mahiya 'yang mga kamot mo kapag nakita mo
ang katawan ni
Violet."

Biglang nataranta si Ira. "What?! I don't have any kamot!"

"Anong wala? Look at your legs, grabe ang cellulite!" Nikki said na mas lalong
nagpataranta kay Ira. Nikki
is bluffing all along. First of all, my body isn't something that most people would
feel inferior with.
Secondly, I think Iradessa have the best body. Mahirap mang aminin but that's the
truth. Kaya madalas
kong naiisip dati na ang pinili ni Daven ay 'body over brain.'

"Oh my God, Babe! Samahan mo muna ako! Let's check my body," she said at hinila
palayo sa amin si
Daven. His eyes lingered on me for a while but he didn't say a word.

"Ira has the best body here," sabi ko kay Nikki nang makalayo sila.

"Oo na, oo pero hello? Nakita mo ba 'yung mukha niya nang sinabi kong puro siya
cellulite at kamot?
Grabe!" She started laughing like it was really funny.

Inilibot ko ang paningin ko sa paligid, trying to check if that person is here but
I haven't notice him
around. Nagbago ba ang isip niya at piniling huwag na lamang magpunta? Before I
could think of any
answer to my question ay muli na akong hinila ni Nikki palayo.

"You know what? I have an idea. Bakit hindi na lamang tayo magsimulang maligo
ngayon na? Gurl, let's
flaunt that body! Whoo!" And before I know it, she started undressing me!

It's not that I had never worn a bikini in my entire life. But every time I wear
it, it always feels like it's the
first time. Natagpuan ko na lamang ang sarili ko na nakabalot sa isang tuwalya at
nakatayo sa gilid ng
pool. Underneath the towel is my two-piece swimsuit na may disenyong ruffles at
hindi masyadong
malaswa. It's a blue and white striped bikini.

Schoolmates and strangers were on the pool and some even looked at me. Hinigpitan
ko ang
pagkakahawak sa towel ko nang marinig ko ang boses ni Iradessa. She's now on the
pool, holding a drink
with her minions.

"Come over here na, Violet," she said in a loud voice enough for me to hear from
where I'm standing.
8/10
Everyone on the pool were looking so hot in their swimsuits. Ako ang nababahala
kung sakaling magmalfunction man ang mga kasuotan nila. Nikki jumped into the pool
wearing her black one-piece
swimsuit.

"Halika na, Violet!"

Now that I noticed it, almost everyone was looking at me. Bakit sa akin sila
nakatingin? And why do none
of them seemed to be the least bit fazed by all the skin?

And before anyone can call me the Miss Prude here because of the fact that I cannot
let go of the towel, I
dropped it and jumped into the pool bago pa man nila makita ang katawan ko.
Sinigurado akong
hanggang sa leeg ay nakalublob sa tubig. I'm not hiding anything particular in my
body, hindi lang talaga
ako sanay. I'm not the type who flaunts her body to the public. I prefer to be
covered.

Nagsimulang magkasiyahan ang lahat sa pool. Drinks, smokes and making out - tila
pinagsisihan ko na
ngayon ang pagpunta ko dito. Before everyone can comment on how silly I look with
my body— my neck
downwards immersed in the water; I grabbed the towel that I let go a while ago at
ibinalot iyon sa
katawan ko nang umahon ako.

Nagmamadaling tinungo ko ang banyo. I cannot stand it. Hindi ko kayang

makipaghalubilo sa lahat ng
naroon. Hindi ko kayang sabayan ang pag-inom nila and most of all, I cannot bear to
see Daven with Ira.
Ano bang pumasok sa utak ko at lumusob ako dito?

Nagpasya akong umuwi ngunit naligo muna ako bago ako nagbihis sa damit na suot ko
kanina. I brought
clothes and undergarments too kaya pwede akong maligo.

Hinubad ko ang kasuotan ko. I slung my swimsuit on the door at pinailaliman iyon ng
tuwalya. My bag's
outside at sinimulan kong hugasan ang buhok ko. The pool must be very dirty dahil
sa dami nila roon. I
lathered my hair with the shampoo that was piled there na malamang ay inilagay doon
para sa party na
ito. I started scrubbing my body with the use of the body wash there.

I started rinsing my hair and body and after I few while, I was ready to go. When I
turned to face the
door, I was so surprised! Gone was my towel and the bikini that I'm wearing. I
blinked a few times to
check if I'm hallucinating or not but no matter how I blink or rub my eyes, none of
the things that I slung
on the door was present.

Dahan-dahan kong binuksan ang pinto at sinilip ang bag ko iniwan ko sa harap ng
salamin but it was
missing, too. Bigla na lamang akong kinabahan at nagsimulang nanubig ang mga mata
ko.
"Iradessa, this is not funny!" I shouted. Okay, it was a grave accusation ngunit
sino nga ba ang taong
aabot sa ganito? Definitely Ira. May narinig akong tawa ngunit hindi ko matiyak
kung sino iyon.

9/10
aabot sa ganito? Definitely Ira. May narinig akong tawa ngunit hindi ko matiyak
kung sino iyon.

"This is not really funny!"

Still no answer.

"IRADESSA! I didn't think that you'd go as far as this!"

Now I really regret coming here! I cannot just walk out of the shower room wearing
only my birthday suit!
Wala akong narinig na sagot at kahit magsisisigaw man ako dito ay walang
makakarinig sa akin dahil
masyadong maingay ang musika sa labas.

Nanatili akong nakatayo doon at naghintay ng milagro ngunit halos dalawampung

minuto na ang
lumipas ay wala pa ring pumupunta rito! I am sure Iradessa sealed this shower and
put an Out of Order
sign on the door. Nagsimula ng sumakit ang tiyan ko dahil sa lamig at napayakap na
lamang ako sa
tuhod ko at nagsimulang umiyak.

10/10
Chapter 20: Warmth

Somewhere near the pool, a loud EDM was playing and given those large speaker,
sigurado akong
walang makakarinig sa akin dito. I could be standing here naked for hours. Ang mga
luha ko ang
nagpapainit sa lamig na nararamdaman ko ngayon. A felt a stiff breeze over my body
and I pulled myself
tighter to be warm.

Gaano katagal na ba akong nakatayo dito? Gaano pa katagal ang dapat kong hintayin
upang may
himalang darating na bitbit ang mga damit ko? I bit my lower lip and gritted my
teeth. Pinunasan ko ang
mga luha ko sa mata at sa halip ay nag-isip na lamang ng paraan upang makaalis
dito. Maraming
tuwalya sa poolside, I can just step out in my birthday suit and grab one towel but
thinking about it even
made my knees wobble. Hindi ko kaya ang naiisip ko.

And just before I lose hope, I heard a loud thud from the door at kasunod niyon ay
ang tila natatarantang
boses ni Nikki.

"Sandali lang Semper— hoy!"

And before I know it, the door of the cubicle which I'm in opened at iniluwa niyon
si Semper. He has a
dark expression as always but now it has gotten worse. His gaze looked at me who
was hugging myself
on the floor.

"Semper! Oh my God!" Napatutop si Nikki sa kanyang bibig at inagaw ni Semper ang

tuwalya sa kanya.
He cranked my shoulders at hinila ako patayo. In a blink of an eye, he was covering
my body with the
towel. Hindi na ako nahihiya sa ginawa niya. All I think about is that I'm thankful
and because of that,
bigla na lamang akong napahagulhol sa dibdib ni Semper.

1/6
Nagmumukha akong bata na nakahanap ng kakampi. My tears started to fall endlessly
at mas sinubsob
pa ang mukha sa dibdib niya. I cannot prevent the loud sobs coming from my mouth at
wala akong
pakialam kung mabasa man ng laway ko si Semper. Nang matapos niyang ibalabal sa
katawan ko ang
towel ay hinayaan niya lang ako na umiyak. His hands were down on his sides, he
didn't even caress my
hair for comfort and I don't know why it felt good like this.

"Violet..."

I pulled myself from Semper at tiningnan si Nikki na tinawag ang pangalan ko. She
handed me my bag
pero wala roon ang mga damit ko.

"Sorry, ngayon ko lang napansin nang makita ko 'tong bag mo na tinatago ni Ira,"
she said and looked
worried. "Wala akong dalang extra na damit."

Bigla na lamang hinubad ni Semper ang suot niyang hoodie at iniwan ang sando sa
ilalim. Iniabot niya sa
akin ang hoodie ngunit nang hindi ako gumalaw ay siya na mismo ang nagsuot niyon sa
akin. Nakatayo
lang din ako roon at hinayaan ang mga luha kong patuloy na umaagos.

Sana nga ay hindi ako nagpunta dito. I wouldn't have experienced this. Kung pwede
nga lang sana na
ibalik ko ang panahon.

"Okay ka lang ba, Violet?" Nikki asked and cupped my cheeks. Sinagot ko siya ng
mahinang tango at
pinahid ang mga luha ko. "Mananagot talaga sa akin ang babaeng iyon! Halika—"

She tried to pull me pero pinigilan ko siya. "Gusto ko nang umuwi." I'm glad my
voice didn't crack the
way I expected it to be.

"Ihahatid ko na siya," wika ni Semper kay Nikkii at hinawakan ako sa braso.

"Ingatan mo 'yang kaibigan ko, Semper, dahil kung hindi dalawa kayo ni Ira na
mananagot sa akin! For
now, let me handle Iradessa." She looked at me with a worried look. "Sabihin mo
kapag may ginawang
masama sa'yo si Semper ah?"

2/6
I slowly nodded my head at hinigpitan ang pagkakabuhol ng suot kong towel sa ilalim
ng hoodie ni
Semper. Hinawakan niya ako sa braso at iginaya palabas ng banyo matapos tumango kay
Nikki na tila ba
nagpapaalam na dito.

I ignored the stares of the people around. Hindi na rin ako nag-abalang hanapin pa
si Iradessa dahil sa
ngayon ay wala pa akong ganang manumbat. All I want to do right now is go home, get
in my bed and
have a peaceful sleep.

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Nang makalabas kami ng bahay nina Ira ay iniabot ni Semper sa akin ang pink na
helmet. Hindi ko alam
na palagi niya pala itong dala.

"S-salamat," mahinang usal ko.

"Just sit comfortably on my back. Humawak ka na lamang ng maayos sa akin," wika

niya sa akin habang
sumasampa siya sa kanyang motor.

I answered with a slow nod and sat on his back, facing right. Pinaandar na niya ang
motor at mahina ang
lang ang takbo namin. Ilang minuto lamang ay nakarating na kami sa harap ng bahay.
Bumaba ako at
nag-alangang iniabot sa kanya ang helmet.

"Maraming salamat..."

He just sat and stared directly at my face. "Your eyes are swollen, baka mag-alala
sa'yo ang mga
magulang mo."

"Ako na ang bahala sa kanila," sagot ko at nagpaalam na. "Papasok na ako, maraming
salamat." Hindi ko
na hinintay ang sagot niya at tumalikod na upang buksan ang gate.

I can hear the sound of his engine na papalayo. Nang pumasok ako ay hindi nagtaka
sina Mommy na
tuwalya at hoodie jacket lang ang suot ko. I briefly explained that I didn't bother
to change into my dry
clothes and luckily hindi na sila nag-usisa pa. Nagpaalam naman ako na aakyat na sa
silid upang
makapagpahinga.

3/6

As I entered my room, bumalik na naman sa alaala ko ang nangyari. What if hindi

dumating sina Nikki at
Semper? Makakalabas kaya ako doon? At bakit ba iyon ginagawa ni Iradessa? Wala
akong maalala na
may ginawa akong masama sa kanya. In fact, it's the other way around. Siya ang may
kasalanan sa akin!
She flirted with my boyfriend! She flirted with Daven!

Bago pa man ako maiyak ulit ay hinubad ko ang hoodie ni Semper. It has a manly
scent and it exactly
smells like him. And speaking of Semper, paano niya nalaman na naroon ako? Humingi
ba si Nikki ng
tulong sa kanya? And why would he help me? Hindi maganda ang huli naming pag-uusap
at iyon ay nang
pinasok niya ang panaginip ko.

I changed into my pajamas at nahiga sa kama. Hindi na ako nag-abalang buksan ang
ilaw at sa halip ay
ang lampshade na nasa gilid lamang ang binuksan ko. I reached for Semper's hoodie
and gently hugged
it. Whatever he is, I am thankful for him about what happened tonight. Hindi ko
alam na naroon pala siya
dahil nang pilit na hinanap siya ng mga mata ko ay hindi ko siya makita. Ilang
saglit lamang ay
naramdaman ko na ang pamimigat ng mga talukap ng mata ko hanggang sa tuluyan na
akong nilamon
ng antok.

I felt the urge to open my eyes. Do you know that feeling you get when you feel
that someone is staring
at you? Iyon ang nararamdaman ko ngayon. Dahan-dahan kong iminulat ang mga mata ko.
Ang unang
bagay na nahagip ng mata ko ay ang digital clock na nasa dingding na nagsasabing
pasado alas dos na
ng madaling araw. Then my gaze fell on the foot of my bed where a guy in black was
sitting.

"Shit!" Napabalikwas ako ng bangon. So someone is really staring at me. Tahimik ang
silid ko at marahil
dahil pasado alas dos na nga. "Anong ginagawa mo rito?"

Mula sa liwanag na nagmumula sa buwan sa labas ay naaninag ko ang pagkakagat niya

sa kanyang labi.
It was Semper. Muli kong tiningnan ang mga bintana ko ngunit sigurado akong sarado
iyon and probably
it is still locked until now.

"I came to check on you," sagot niya.

"I'm fine." Hinila ko ang kumot at binalabal iyon sa katawan ko. Kahit medyo
madilim ay ayaw ko pa ring
makita niya ang katawan ko sa ilalim ng manipis na kasuotan. Yep, he saw my naked
body kanina and
that's something I want to forget. "Paano ka nakapasok dito sa kwarto ko?"

God, if robbers are as stealth as him, ewan ko na lang! Ano mang oras ay
mananakawan kami! It's either
he is stealthy or I'm just a heavy sleeper.

"You let me in," sagot niya.

4/6
"What? Is this... is this a dream again?" Ako na naman ba ang nagpapasok sa kanya
sa panaginip ko? But
how can I do it? Kung pinapasok ko siya, may instances din ba kaya na hindi ko siya
mapapapasok?

"Yup."

Okay, I'm too tired to argue with him and sue him out of my dream. Ayaw ko na ring
saktan ang sarili ko
kaya napabuga na lamang ako ng hangin.

"You see, I'm fine. Can you now get out?"

"The new moon of Tammuz is fast approaching. Tatlong buwan. Tatlong buwan na
lamang," wika niya.
"Always remember what I told you."

"Hindi ko lubusang maintindihan ang lahat, Semper. Why don't you explain to me
everything?" Tanong
ko sa kanya. Hanggang ngayon ay naguguluhan talaga ako. What's with me that an
angel is protecting
me?

"Kahit ako. All I know is that a fallen angel wants to possess your body."

Mas lalo lamang akong naguluhan. "My body? Why? Ano ang meron sa katawan ko? Hindi
ba ako
normal? Am I someone special for am angel to—" Bigla akong napatigil dahil mula sa
paanan ng kama
ay mabilis na gumalaw si Semper at lumapit sa akin. He's now on my side, one hand
holding my pulse
on my wrist and the other is searching for my pulse near my neck.

"Iyan din ang ipinagtataka ko. No matter how I look at it, you're normal and not a
Nephil or anything para
pagkainteresan ng sino mang anghel or fallen angel for that matter," he said while
meeting my eyes.

The warmth of his hand feels so good that it gave warmth to the remaining sanity in
me. Tinabig ko ang
kamay niya at mas hinigpitan pa ang pagkakahawak sa kumot ko. Alright, I felt so
attacked right now.
Kahit panaginip lang ito, Semper is still a guy and we're in my room right now.

I should be afraid of Semper but his actions towards me just make me trust him.
Kung siya nga ang nais
na pumatay sa akin, I should have been dead long ago. Ilang beses na kaming
nagkasarinlan ni Semper
at may pagkakataong napapahamak ako pero hindi ko rin naman tiyak kung siya nga ang
lalaking
nakaitim na nakikita ko. The one who made the water flew upward.

"Huwag kang matakot sa akin."

My forehead crumpled on his words. "Did you read my mind again?"

5/6
"No. It's all scribbled in your face. You're doubting if you can trust me or not."
Mula sa malamlam na ilaw
na mula sa lampshade ay nakita ako ang kakaibang kislap ng mata niya. His eyes are
not lively but it's
lovely.

"Now you're scaring me more. Umalis ka na," wika ko sa kanya. Sinubukan kong sipain
siya ngunit
mahina lang iyon. Takot ko lang baka mainis siya at patayin ako dito! Baka hindi na
ako magising bukas.

Tumayo siya mula sa pagkakaupo sa kama ko at nagpunta sa pinto. "Alright, I'm

leaving."

And just as he disappeared on the door, I opened my eyes. Nakahiga pa rin ako. The
wall clock is still
past 2 in the morning. Hindi katulad sa panaginip ko, hindi ako nakaupo at
tinatanaw si Semper na
papalabas ng pinto. I was on my bed, lying on my back.

Bumangon ako at umupo. It felt so real. Kahit panaginip lamang ay nararamdaman ko

pa rin ang init ng
palad ni Semper sa leeg ko. The warmth that lingers—

What am I saying? Ako ba talaga ang nagsabi niyon? Ilang beses kong pinilig ang ulo
ko at tinangkang
bumangon upang uminom ng tubig. Why do I feel weird lately? Ito ba ang epekto ni
Semper sa akin?

Napatigil ako sa tangkang pagtayo ko. On the side of my bed where Semper sat in my
dreams, the
bedsheet was crumpled like someone was sitting on it. Mas napatda ako nang makitang
ganoon din
malapit sa paanan ng kama. So, he really has been here even if it was all in my
dreams.

6/6
Chapter 21: Parting Bond

What happened at Iradessa's party didn't spread at the university. It could be that
hindi trip ni Ira na
ipagkalat ang nangyari or the other people who were there doesn't really know about
what happened.

Naupo ako sa cafeteria at nagsimulang magreview ng mga notes ko. Wala akong quiz o
exam pero
madalas akong nagre-review. Napaangat ang tingin ko nang may maglapag ng cheesecake
at coke in
can sa harapan ko. It was Semper and he brought food for the two of us.

"Para saan 'to?" Tanong ko at tinuro ng hawak kong ballpen ang pagkaing inilagay
niya sa harapan ko.
He sat across me and started eating his own food.

"Para sa'yo."

"Dahil?" Hindi naman talaga kailangan ng rason kapag nanlilibre ng pagkain but if
it's from someone
you're not close with, nakakapagtaka lang.

"Sabihin na lang nating parting treat ko sa'yo 'yan. It isn't expensive so don't
take it like it's a big deal,"
sagot niya na ang paningin ay nasa pagkain pa rin. Magana siyang sumusubo na tila
ba gutom siya, and
it made me wonder whether he had breakfast or not.

"Parting treat? Aalis ka na?" gulat na tanong ko. I know he's meant to leave one
day but I didn't expect it
to be sooner.

"Yup, Tammuz is almost over," sagot niya. Nag-angat siya ng tingin and I gave him a
look like I'm asking
1/9
what Tammuz is. "Tammuz in Hebrew calendar is equivalent to June and July of
Gregorian calendar."

"Ang bilis naman yata..." Hindi ko sinasadyang sabihin iyon. Even if I only knew
him for almost two
months, alam kong medyo matagal-tagal na siya sa lupa. Nikki said na nag-aaral na
siya dito noong
summer.

"I've been here for quite some time and I cannot stay any longer dahil baka malaman
ng Power ang
pagbaba ko. I might be exiled or pushed to the bottom rank of my choir."

Although I really cannot understand what he totally means, nagkomento pa rin ako.
"You must be
missing everyone up there especially your girlfriend." He stopped for a while at
tila mas naging seryoso
pa ang kanyang mukha pero nagpatuloy din siya ilang saglit lamang.

Saglit na namayani ang katahimikan kaya upang maibsan ang awkwardness sa pagitan
namin ay
sinimulan kong kainin ang pagkaing inilibre niya.

"You'll be safe for the next 300 years if you're still alive by then, bago ang
susunod na red moon ng
Tammuz that's why you don't have to worry for next year's Tammuz," wika niya.

"Maraming salamat. Kahit hindi mo naman talaga kagustuhang bumaba, you still did,"
wika ko sa kanya,
refusing to meet his eyes when he stopped and looked at me.

"Walang anuman iyon. Angels are meant to guard humans," sagot niya. "Tammuz's red
moon will be
tonight, and I need to stay with you to keep you safe."

"Kailangan pa ba iyon?" Nakakunot ang noo na tanong ko.

"Yup, and once the red moon passes, aalis na rin ako."

Nabitawan ko ang hawak na tinidor. It made a loud clanking sound on the saucer.
"Ngayong gabi na rin?"
Alam ko at tanggap ko na aalis na siya but I never expected it to be tonight. He's
now leaving but until
now ay hindi pa ako nakahingi ng tawad sa kanya. Pinagdudahan ko siya ng masama and
I think I owe
him an apology.

2/9

"Yup, I met Jophiel last night," he said and suddenly the cheesecake tasted like
rust. I tried grabbing the
coke in can and took a sip but why does it taste like rotten coffee? Maybe
something's wrong with my
tongue or something is wrong with what Semper said.

"G-good for you," I said, trying not to sound salty. And I thought he visited me
last night, only me— turns
out he did and then he met his girlfriend.
"Galit ka ba?" Tanong niya at pinigilan ko ang sarili kong pulutin ang tinidor
at isaksak iyon sa katawan ko. How stupid of me! Nakalimutan ko na bang hindi tao
si Semper and he
can read through minds or faces or whatever!

"Am not!"

"You sounded like one."

"Malakas lang talaga ang boses ko!"

"Okay." Nagpatuloy siya sa pagkain at gayun din ako kahit nawalan na ako ng gana. I
hate myself for
acting this way. Bakit ba nagiging ganito ako? I should be happy dahil wala nang
pipigil sa akin kung
sakaling nais man ni Daven na makipag-usap sa akin. Wala ng KJ na basta-basta na
lamang susulpot at
mang-aagaw ng note at ni-flush iyon sa toilet bowl. No Semper to annoy me by
scaring the hell out of me
through speaking in my mind and appearing in my dreams.
4/9
"Excited ka na siguro..."

"Not really. Nalulungkot din naman ako. Maiiwan ko dito si Moroni at ikaw." He
drank from his coke in
can at sumandal habang tiningnan ako.

Napalunok ako ng ilang beses. Malulungkot siya na iwan ako? What the?! Why do I
feel a sudden
grumble in my stomach?

"Bakit naman?"

He chose not to answer my question. Sa halip ay tumayo siya at lumapit sa akin.

"Since this will be my
last day, why don't you tour me around to places I have never been?"

"Ano? No way, may klase pa ako!"

Ngunit mukhang hindi yata narinig ni Semper ang sinabi ko dahil hinawakan niya ako
sa braso at hinila
patayo, leaving me with no choice but to follow him. Dinala niya ako sa parking lot
at iniabot sa akin ang
pink na helmet.

"Palagi mo yatang dala 'to? May sakay ka bang babae araw-araw?" Hindi mapigilang
tanong ko. I should
have shut my mouth, but I cannot. At ngayon ay pinagsisisihan ko iyon.

"It's for you. Balak ko sanang sunduin at ihatid ka araw-araw but it seems like you
didn't like that idea
kaya hindi ko ginawa, but I still kept the helmet with me all the time," sagot
niya. Natigilan naman ako
dahil sa sinabi niya. Yup, I wouldn't like it pero bakit pinanghinayangan kong
hindi ganoon ang nangyari
ngayon?

I felt my cheeks blushed at bago pa man niya iyon makita ay yumuko na ako upang
maitago ang mukha
ko. Sumampa siya sa motorsiklo niya at umangkas naman ako sa likuran niya.

"Saan tayo?" I asked. I'm supposed to be the one to choose place where I want him
to see dahil nga aalis
na siya but where would I bring him? Hindi ako mahilig gumala kaya wala akong ma-
suggest na lugar.

"You know what? May isang bagay na gusto kong gawin na hindi ko pa nagagawa," sagot
niya na
bahagya akong nilingon.

"Ano iyon?"

"Maligo sa dagat," sagot niya. "Can we do that?"

5/9
"Maligo sa dagat," sagot niya. "Can we do that?"

"Alright," I replied at humawak nang mahigpit sa kanya nang pinaandar niya ang
motorsiklo.

Ang napili n'yang resort ay hindi kalayuan. Huminto kami sa isang shop at bumili ng
damit panligo. Since
I had a trauma with swimsuit, I chose to buy shorts and conservative bikinis. Hindi
matao ngayon sa
beach dahil hindi naman weekend. Semper paid for the cottage at nagpaalam na
magbibihis muna at
gayun din ang ginawa ko. When he returned, he's now wearing a black sando and
boardshorts.

Mag-aalas dose pa lamang ng tanghali at niyaya ako ni Semper na kumain muna sa

restaurant na nasa
loob ng resort. He ordered food for the two of us.

"At least, mararanasan ko na rin na maligo ng dagat bago ako bumalik sa langit," he
said as he started
eating the newly-served food.

"Gaano katagal ka na ba dito?"

Binitawan niya ang kutsara at nagbilang gamit ang kamay niya. "I went down around
middle of Nisan or
end of March in Gregorian calendar."

"At ni isang beses ay hindi ka pa nakaligo ng dagat?"

He nodded his head. "I have no one to ask to come with me. It will be totally
boring if I come alone. Hindi
rin naman pwede si Moroni."

Looking at him now, mukhang excited nga siyang maligo sa dagat. Kahit paano ay
napangiti naman ako
sa isiping ako ang nakasama niya sa isang bagay na nais niyang gawin. Who knows if
he will remember
me once he returns to heaven kapag iniisip niya ang isa sa magandang karanasan niya
sa lupa.

"So paano 'yan? Bigla ka lamang bang mawawala? Everyone might notice your
disappearance at
school." Hindi maipagkakailang popular si Semper sa AU. If you visit AU
Confessions, isa siya sa madalas
na laman niyon.

"Hindi niyo ako maaalala," sagot niya which made me pause from swallowing my food.
"Kapag aalis na
ako, all your memories of me will be deleted."

"Deleted?"

6/9
"Deleted?"

Tumango siya. "Every single memory of me. It's like I never existed at all."

Hindi ko alam pero bigla akong nalungkot. I have a lot of memories with him and
mostly are creepy and
annoying one. It's sad to know na malilimutan ko rin pala iyon— starting tonight.

Nawalan ako ng gana pero kahit ganoon ay pinagpatuloy ko pa rin ang pagkain.
Matapos kumain ay
nagpahinga lang ako sa cottage while Semper wanders around exploring the beach.
Hindi ko namalayan
na nakatulog pala ako sa duyan and when I woke up, it's past three in the
afternoon. Bumangon ako at
umayos ng upo. No sign of Semper around ngunit namataan ko ang suot niyang sando
kanina na ngayon
at nakasabit sa cottage. He must be somewhere in the water right now. Tumayo ako at
pumunta sa
baybayin. 3 p.m. is so damn hot but I continued searching for Semper at tama nga
ang hinala ko, nasa
tubig siya at nakatayo. Hanggang kalahati ng beywang niya ang lalim ng tubig ngunit
basa na ang buhok
niya kaya malamang ay lumangoy na siya kanina.

Nakatanaw siya sa malayo and his back was facing me. I know it's his back because
he has a visible
diagonal scar on one side of his back. It was fully healed now but the scars were
visible and bumpy but it
didn't make his back ugly. In fact, his scar is beautiful.

Mula sa pagkakatalikod ay lumingon siya sa akin na para bang naramdaman niya ang
presenya ko. I saw
him smiled at naglakad siya palapit sa akin.

"You must be enjoying the sea," wika ko nang nasa harap ko na siya. His skin was
tanned, probably
because he stayed long under the sun.

"I do. Thanks."

Bigla akong natigilan. "Thanks? For what?" Hello, natulog lang ako so basically,
there's nothing to thank
for.

"Thanks, because I was able to experience this," sagot niya. Hinawakan niya ang
siko ko at nanlaki ang
mga mata ko. Oh no! Does he want me to...? No! It's 3 p.m. and it's too hot!

Pero huli na ang lahat, nagawa na niya akong hilahin papunta sa tubig at nilublob
ako. I shouted out of
surprise. Kahit mainit ang panahon ay malamig ang tubig. Nang umahon ako ay
sinamaan ko siya ng
tingin at napatawa naman siya ng malakas.

He just laughed but then I felt my body become stiff. Why do I like the sound of
his laughter? Hinawi niya
ang nga buhok na nakadikit sa basang mukha ko and just as when he touched my skin,
I jolted when I
felt an electricity. It was so strong that I thought I was electrocuted. I stepped
backward at ako na ang
umayos sa buhok ko at hindi ko mapigilang matawa na rin.

7/9
umayos sa buhok ko at hindi ko mapigilang matawa na rin.

There's nothing funny but seeing him laughing made me laugh too. Gamit ang kamay ko
ay sinabuyan
ko siya ng tubig and some went inside his mouth which caused him to stop laughing.

His face crumpled as he started ranting that the water tastes salty. Natural! Nasa
dagat kami diba?
Napasigaw naman ako nang siya naman ang nagsaboy ng tubig sa akin gamit ang
dalawang kamay niya!
His hands are quite larger than mine kaya mas maraming tubig ang nasaboy niya sa
akin. We spent the
afternoon laughing and throwing water at each other.

***

Mag-aalas singko na nang inihatid niya ako sa bahay. Our skin is now really tanned
at malamang ay
isang katakot-takot na question and answer ang mangyayari kapag napansin nina Mommy
ang balat ko.
I'm not the liar daughter at ngayon ay kailangan ko ng magpractice ng sorry speech
for ditching my
class. Nang bumaba ako ng motorsiklo ni Semper ay bumaba rin siya. Eh?

"Where are you going?" Tanong ko, pushing him back when he was about to head to the
gate.

"Kakausapin ko ang mommy mo," simpleng sagot niya. He's now back to his clothes
that he wore at
school kanina and so am I.

"Bakit naman?"

"You looked worried. Ako na ang magpapaliwanag sa kanina tutal ako naman ang
nagdala sa'yo sa
beach," he said at tinangka ulit na lampasan ako ngunit sa ikalawang pagkakataon ay
hinila ko siya
pabalik.

"Sandali..." I sighed and looked at him in the eyes, but it was a wrong move. Sa
halip ang ibinaba ko ang
paningin sa ilong niya. I think this spot is safer than those lackluster eyes. "The
last time you come into
my house, something weird and scary happened. Tutal aalis ka rin naman, don't you
think I deserve to
know those things before I let you in?"

He blinked a few times as he looked at me. Ngayon ay naging seryoso na ang mukha
niya. "I think it's
the same guy at the mall's basement and at Dowby's."

Naramdaman ko ang panlalamig ng palad ko. Kapag naaalala ko iyon ay hindi ko

maiwasang matakot.
Whoever is that guy, he's determined to kill me.

"At sino naman iyon?"

8/9
"Hindi ko alam pero malakas ang suspetsa ko na si Daven iyon," sagot niya. I can't
help but scowl at him.
Daven killed me when he broke my heart, but he cannot kill me that way. Mabait si
Daven and I don't
really think that he's capable of hurting me— at least not physically.

"I don't think it's him," kontra ko sa sinabi niya.

"Well, I hope you're not wrong. Halika na, I will stay here beside you hanggang sa
lumabas na ang
buwan," he said and pulled me towards the gate.

Why do I like the part where he said he will stay beside me?

Uh-uh... This is not good. Definitely not good.

9/9
Chapter 22: Departure?

"Kuya Cool, isa pa!"

"Kuya, ang galing mo!"

"Kuya, turuan mo ako!"

"Semper, iho kumain ka lang nang kumain."

"Semper, I'm glad that you came to visit us."

Semper got my whole family the moment we stepped inside. Maging si Daddy na
kararating lang ay
tuwang-tuwa nang makita siya. And because of him, we had a great dinner dahil
maraming niluto si
Mommy para sa hapunan. The house seems lively because of his presence. Hindi ko
alam kung ano ang
ginawa niya. My family is nice but with Semper, they're extra nice.

Semper! Kuya Cool! Ganito! Ganyan! Argh! Bakit puro na lang tungkol kay Semper ang
naririnig ko dito
sa bahay? Don't get me wrong. I'm not jealous or what but really, is this how he
dominates the house? I
eyed him a glare at eksaktong napatingin din pala siya sa akin.

"What?"

1/6
Bahagya kong inilapit ang mukha ko sa kanya. "Sabihin mo nga sa akin, did you cast
a spell on them?"

Isang ngiti ang sumilay sa labi niya. "Angels are inherently adorable."

"Why can't I tell that?" Sagot ko. Noong unang beses na nagkita kami, takot ang
naramdaman ko. I don't
find him adorable, not even a little. And if they are really adorable, why do I
find him so annoying at
times?

"You're suppressing it," sagot niya. He said something to Lav at nag-switch naman
ito sa one player
mode. Lumapit si Semper sa akin at naupo sa harap ko mismo. "Try staring at me.
Only me. Then let's
see kung kaya mo bang i-resist ang charm ko." His voice was halfway playful and
halfway serious.

Teka, kaya ko bang makipagtitigan sa kanya?

"Ayaw mo? Hindi ka ba komportableng-" I cut him off before he can say anything
more. Aba! Baka isipin
pa niyang may kakaiba siyang epekto sa akin! No way! I can win a staring contest
with him, can't I?

"Game." Umayos ako nang upo at inilagay pa sa tuhod ko ang dalawang kamay ko. My
eyes stared
directly into his and I'm almost drowned but no. There's no way I'll be losing this
staring contest. Habang
nakikipagtitigan ako sa kanya ay hindi ko maiwasang isipin kung ano ang hitsura
niya kung sakaling
medyo lively ang kanyang mga mata. The staring contest didn't last for three
minutes and I wasn't
surprised when I was the first one to withdraw. Binabawi ko na ang sinabi ko.

I CANNOT win a staring contest with him. I don't even stand a chance. Not even a
little.

"I... I have an eye deficiency," pagdadahilan ko. Gasgas na ang dahilang ito. Of
course, wala akong eye
deficiency kung kaya't hindi ko kayang makipagtitigan sa kanya. It's just... uhmm.
Hindi ko kaya.

"O baka hindi ka lang komportable," nakangiting sagot niya. Sumandal siya sa
kanyang kinauupuan but
his eyes weren't leaving me.

"Bakit naman hindi ako magiging komportable?" I asked at ibinaling sa iba ang
paningin. Hindi siya
sumagot kaya't napatingin ulit ako sa kanya. Hanggang ngayon ay hindi pa rin niya
hinihiwalay ang

2/6
sumagot kaya't napatingin ulit ako sa kanya. Hanggang ngayon ay hindi pa rin niya
hinihiwalay ang
tingin sa akin. "What?"

His lips twitched as he forces a smile. "I hope you will not forget about me," wika
niya. Hindi ko alam
kung bakit naghatid iyon ng kakaibang sensasyon sa dibdib ko.

"Of course, I won't," sagot ko. It's an honest answer. Sa tingin ko ay hindi
madaling kalimutan si Semper.

"Nope. You will because you have to," wika niya. Lumipat siya sa sofa at ngayon ay
nasa tabi ko na siya.
I turned my head to his direction at napakurap lamang sa bawat galaw niya. He
glanced at his
wristwatch. "Pasado alas dyes na, I think it's time to go."

Nagpaalam na siya kina Mommy at Daddy at maging kay Lav. Lav even persuaded him to
sleepover, uh,
ganoon ang epekto niya sa kapatid ko.

Sinamahan ko si Semper sa labas ng bahay. Hanggang ngayon ay hindi pa rin ako

makapaniwala na aalis
na siya. I should be happy pero bakit hindi iyon ang nararamdaman ko? And to answer
that question, I
guess that's because he left so many memories with me.

Nakalabas na kami ng bahay at nakatayo sa harap ng gate. Madilim ang gabi at medyo
cloudy ngunit
matatanaw naman ang buwan kahit na natatabunan ng ulap ang mga bituin. Unti-unti
ring dumidilim
ang paligid dahil unti-unting natatakpan ng ulap ang buwan.

Kung hindi ko pa kasama si Semper ay malamang natakot na ako. This night has
exactly the same feels
at Dowby's nang halos mamatay ako dahil sa lalaking nakaitim. I told myself that
maybe this is what will
happen in a red moon of Tamuz. Kahit malamig sa labas ay hindi muna ako pumasok at
nanatili lamang
doon, kaharap si Semper. Nakatingala siya sa langit na tila ba may hinihintay.

Niyakap ko ang sarili ko nang tuluyang dumilim ang gabi dahil natatakpan na ng ulap
ang buong buwan.
The sky seemed darker and there crossed a silent lightning. Ginaya ko si Semper at
tumingala na rin. I
waited for the sky to open and pick up Semper ngunit halos mangawit na lamang ang
leeg ko ay walang
nangyayaring ganoon.

3/6
Hindi ko alam kung gaano katagal na nanatili kaming nakatayo roon. Nakatingala pa
rin si Semper
ngunit sa pagkakataong ito ay nakakunot ang kanyang noo. Unti-unting lumiwanag ang
paligid at dahil
iyon nawala na ang ulap na tumatakip sa buwan.

"M-may problema ba?" Nag-aalalang tanong ko nang mapansin na nakakunot pa rin ang
noo niya.
Nakakuyom din ang kanyang palad na tila ba may bumabagabag sa kanya.
"I... I can't go back..." Ilang beses siyang napakurap at muling tumingala sa
langit. Pero seryoso, mula
rito ba niya balak na bumalik sa langit? I have no idea how that would be possible
pero ang naiisip ko ay
bubukas ang langit at basta-basta na lang siyang hihigupin.

"Paanong hindi?"

"Hindi ko alam," he flashed a worried face and for a second, I was happy that he
cannot leave. Untiunting nanlaki ang mga mata niya at bigla siyang napahawak sa
kanyang ulo. "Arrrrgh!"

His veins appeared on his neck as he cupped his head. Unsure of what to do, I
rushed towards his side at
hinawakan siya sa balikat. "Semper? Anong nangyayari sa'yo? Ayos ka lang ba?"

Unti-unti siyang napapaluhod habang panay pa rin ang daing niya dahil sa tindi ng
sakit na
nararamdaman niya. Maging ako ay nataranta na. Hindi ko alam kung ano ang gagawin,
kinakabahang
napatingin ako sa kanya bago sumigaw upang humingi ng tulong. Sakto namang palabas
si Daddy ng
bahay nang tuluyang nawalan ng malay si Semper.

Dinala namin si Semper sa loob ng bahay at agad na ipinasok sa kwarto ni Lav. Yup,
his room and not
mine. Mom and Dad insisted on calling a doctor pero pinigilan ko sila. Hello? Takot
ko lang kung sakaling
sabihin ng doktor na hindi pang-normal na tao ang vitals ni Semper! O kaya ay wala
siyang internal
organs or whatever na makapagsasabing hindi siya normal!

I told them na may trauma sa doktor si Semper at baka lumala pa iyon kapag nalaman
niyang pinagamot
siya sa doktor. Isa pa, wala namang kakaiba sa katawan niya, hindi rin siya mainit
or what. Sinabi ko
lang sa kanila na ganoon siya kung minsan. I don't know what convincing power I
have at naniwala sila.
They stayed up for an hour ngunit pinilit ko sila na magpahinga na lang. Na ako na
ang magbabantay
kay Semper at doon lang kami sa kwarto ni Lav. Lav stayed awake for another 30
minutes ngunit mayamaya lang ay nakatulog na rin ito sa tabi ni Semper.

I sat on a chair beside the bed where Semper's lying. Mahimbing nang natutulog sa
tabi ni Lav. It's past
midnight ngunit hindi pa rin siya nagigising. I wonder what happened to him. Hindi
ba't dapat ay aalis na
siya? Bakit ganoon ang nangyari?

4/6
Nahulog ako sa lalim na pag-iisip tungkol doon ngunit hindi naman nagtagal ay
napansin ko ang
paggalaw ng daliri niya. "Semper?"

He slowly opened his eyes. Ilang beses siyang napakurap bago bumangon. Sinapo niya
ang ulo at ilang
beses na napailing. He rested his face on his knee at ilang beses na napabuntong-
hininga.

"A-ayos ka lang ba?"

He raised his face and looked at me. "I met Jophiel."

Okay, that doesn't answer my question. I bit my lower lip to prevent a frown from
coming out and I
successfully did.

"G-good to hear that," I said, sounded so salty.

"Hindi pa ako makakabalik. She said I have to wait until Cheshvan," wika niya.

"C-cheshvan?"

"It's equivalent to the month of October and November in the Gregorian calen-" he
stopped as if he felt
something painful. His back arched at natatarantang napatingin ako sa kanya.

"Semper? Anong problema?"

He continued silently struggling, careful not to awaken Lav beside him. I leaped
from my chair to the bed
at tiningnan ang likod niya. Itinaas ko ang suot niyang damit at halos mapasigaw
nang makita iyon. His
back...

The slanting scar because of his previous wound was still there but what caught my
attention is that
there was another wound extending the scar. Preskong-presko pa iyon at bahagya
pang-umuusok. The
scar and the wound dominates the right side of his back.

"S-semper.... Ang likod mo..." Hindi ko alam ang sasabihin ko. The last time he got
a wound, he said that
someone tried to rip his wings. Kung ganoon ay malamang, it's the same case at
this. Ngunit sino naman
ang nais tumanggal sa pakpak niya? No one's here! And I didn't feel anything
unusual!

Umupo ako sa harapan niya at hindi ko alam ang gagawin. Semper looks hurting ngunit
wala akong
maisip na paraan upang tulungan siya. And before I can do anything, Semper buried
his face on the
space between my neck and shoulder at started sobbing.
5/6
#

Chapter 23: Accusation

Hindi ko alam kung ano ang gagawin ko. I tried raising my arms to tap his back
ngunit napatigil lamang
sa ere ang mga kamay ko. I don't think patting his back really helps. I sighed
heavily at ibinaba na
lamang ang mga kamay kong nakasuspende lang mula sa tangka kong pagtapik sa kanya.
Hinayaan ko
lang siyang umiyak sa leeg ko. For me, the space between the neck and shoulders is
an intimate part of
the body and for now, I am letting Semper invade it.

We stayed like that for moments at sa unang pagkakataon ay tila isang mahinang bata
si Semper. He
looks so helpless as he sobs on my neck. When he pulled himself ay napayuko ako sa
takot na makita
niya ang pamumula ko. The blushing thing is not necessary at this moment! Something
serious
happened to Semper samantalang heto ako at tila korning bata na nagba-blush!

"Pasesnsya ka na," wika niya nang makabawi. Kahit galing siya sa pag-iyak ay wala
akong nakikitang
bakas ng luha sa mga mata niya. His eyes weren't swollen, too. Samantalang ako,
konting touching na
eksena lang ay naiiyak ako and my eyes really look like it's swollen from crying
kahit sandali lamang!
Okay, this is unfair! How can someone look fine even if he or she just sobbed? Or
is this how angels are
supposed to be?

"Ayos lang." Gusto kong itanong sa kanya kung ano ang nangyari. What exactly
happened? I have no
idea gayong nasa tabi lang niya ako, I didn't leave him even for a single second,
but someone ripped his
wings without me knowing? Err, is the one who ripped his wings an invisible one?

Hinubad niya ang suot na T-shirt at natutop ko na lamang ang bibig ko. Why does he
strip without
warning me? He had a good body, but I ignore it at nag-focus na lamang sa kanya.
Like I said, thoughts
like that aren't necessary for moments like this.

"Wala ka na bang pakpak?" Tanong ko. I think the question is rude, but I still shot
it.
1/8
He shook his head. "Almost." Nagtagpo ang kilay niya at tila pilit niyang dinama
ang kanyang likod. "My
right wing is almost ripped but the left one is still intact."

Hindi ko alam kung ano ang nasa isip ko. Natagpuan ko na lamang ang sarili kong
hinawakan sa balikat
si Semper at tiningnan ang likod niya. Still, the wound looks painful. The scar
that runs on his back
before the wound looks beautiful. That is not the right adjective to describe a
scar but for now, it's all I
could think of. I run my fingers down to the scar. It was bumpy and seeing the
wound that extends the
scar, I know the first wound also hurts a lot. I cannot imagine Semper crying all
by himself when he first
got the wound. Before I could spent the whole night running down my fingers on his
scar, Semper stood
up and get away from the bed. Sinuot niya ang kanyang T-shirt at bahagya pang
napangiwi nang marahil
ay naramdaman ang pagdampi ng tela sa kanyang sugat.

"I think I have to go," wika niya. He brushed his palms on his black jeans.

Nahihiyang napatayo naman ako na tila ba nabuhusan ng malamig na tubig. What the
hell am I doing?
Where do I get all the guts to touch his scar on his back? On his bare back?!

"R-right..." Upang iwasan ang matinding pagkapahiya ay nauna akong pumunta sa

pinto. I opened the
door and looked at him. "T-this way..." okay, I'm so silly. This is the only way
and even if I don't guide
him, he will know that this is the only way...unless he chooses to use the window
and fly with his wings,
which is impossible. Kakasabi lang niya, hindi ba? His right wing is torn at sa
tingin ko ay hindi pa niya
kayang lumipad. Wait, can he even fly knowing that he illegally departed the
heavens? Uh, am I making
any sense here?

Tiningnan niya si Lav na mahimbing na natutulog sa kama. "I'm sorry for being such
a hassle."
Sinulyapan niya ang suot na wristwatch. "Napuyat ka pa tuloy dahil sa akin."

"Ayos lang. Sigurado ka bang ayos ka lang?"

He touched the bridge of his nose. "I hope I will be. Pasensya ka na talaga,
Violet. Gusto kong humingi ng
paumanhin sa mga magulang mo pero sa tingin ko ay nagpapahinga na sila ngayon. You
should rest,
too."

2/8

He walked towards the door at lumabas doon. Sumunod ako sa kanya hanggang sa sala.
Nang
makarating kami sa pinto ay pinigilan na niya akong ihatid siya sa gate.
"Magpahinga ka na."

"You need to go first," wika ko sa kanya. Masyadong tahimik ang paligid, of course
that's because it's
past midnight. Payapa rin ang kalangitan. It doesn't have a scary feeling gaya ng
kaninang pasado alas
dyes.

He nodded at tuluyan nang nagpaalam. Tinanaw ko siyang lumabas ng gate. Sumampa

siya sa kanyang
motorsiklo at ilang saglit lamang ay narinig ko na ang tunog niyon papalayo. I just
sighed few times
upon hearing the revving engine before I closed the door and head straight towards
my bedroom.

Gaya ng inaasahan ko, hindi pumasok si Semper ng ilang araw. Alam kong
nagpapagaling siya ng sugat
niya at kahit kating-kati na ako na puntahan siya ay pinigilan ko pa rin ang sarili
ko. Hello? Bakit ko ba
siya pupuntahan? Sino ba ako? Fine, I'm concern about him pero may natitira pa rin
akong hiya sa sarili
ko. I will wait for him to show himself that he's fine. Hindi rin naman kasi
magandang tingnan na
lulusubin ko siya sa apartment niya. No matter how much I wanted too, I
successfully restrained myself.

Limang araw na ang lumipas at ni anino ni Semper ay hindi ko nakita. Wala rin
kaming komunikasyon. I
don't think he has a mobile phone (I haven't seen him with one) at mas lalong wala
siyang social media
accounts. I just found myself slouching on the library, still in front of a book
but my mind keeps on
wandering about Semper.

Kumusta na kaya siya ngayon? Ayos na ba ang sugat niya? Nakakatulog ba siya nang
maayos?
Nakadapa? Hindi ba siya nangangawit sa posisyon niyang nakadapa? Kumain na ba siya?
Nilinis ba niya
ang kalat niya? Alam na ba niya kung sino ang gumawa niyon sa kanya? Nakausap na
naman ba niya
ang girlfriend niya? Inalagaan ba siya ni Moroni? Nilagyan ba niya ng gauze ang
sugat niya? Hindi ba
siya nababahala sa grades niya? Ahhh! Napakaraming tanong sa isipan ko na tungkol
kay Semper yet I
have no way of knowing the answers because he's not here!

"Ayos ka lang ba, Violet?"

I almost jumped in my seat nang marinig ko ang boses ni Nikki. Right. Nakalimutan
kong hindi pala ako
nag-iisa. Kasama ko pala si Nikki at nandito kami ngayon sa library upang tumambay.
The reason why I
chose library as my hangout place is that Iradessa hates the library. She's
everywhere- except in the
library. Kahit saan ako sa labas ay naroon siya upang inisin at paselosin ako
tungkol sa kanila ni Daven.
Unlike here! She seldom sets her foot here kaya payapa ang araw ko kung nandito ako
sa library dahil
hindi ko sila nakikita ni Daven.
3/8
And speaking of Daven, he's still giving me stares. Stares that I like the most...
before. Dati ay gustong
gusto ko ang mga tingin na iyon. Pakiramdam ko kasi ay ako ang pinakamagandang
nilalang sa mundo
kapag ganoon ang mga tinging iginagawad niya sa akin. Hindi ko alam kung alam ba
niya ang nangyari
sa akin dati sa party ni Ira. Sa tingin ko ay alam niya pero bakit ba niya
kinukunsinti ang girlfriend niya?
That's the silliest grade school prank in the world! Isa pa 'yan si Daven! I don't
get him. I think he has
something on his sleeves kahit na hindi naman ganoon ang tingin ko sa kanya.

He used to be the most transparent guy for me. Or maybe it's just me who thinks
that way. Dahil ang
akala ko ay siya na ang pinakamabait na lalaki sa mundo, but it turns out that he's
not. He cheated on
me and in a painful way. Uh, well whatever way it is, being cheated on is painful.

"Hello, may kausap ba ako?" Narinig kong wika ni Nikki, sabay wagayway ng kamay
niya sa harapan ko.
Inayos ko ang sarili ko at humarap sa kanya. Heck, how many times do I have to
space out because of
Semper?

"S-sorry, marami lang akong iniisip."

"Like, sino?" She asked with a grin.

"Ano?!"

"Gurl, wag kang mag-deny, okay? Alam kung hindi 'ano' ang dapat na itanong tungkol
diyan sa iniisip
mo. Dapat kasi 'sino'," she started wriggling her brows na para bang sinasabi sa
akin na aminin ko na
dahil huling-huli na niya ako. "Okay lang naman yan fren, crush ko lang naman dati
si Semper kasi pogi
siya but if you want him, sino ba naman ako para pigilan ka?"

Nag-iwas ako ng tingin sa kanya. "Iniisip ko ang report namin ni Ashley." Speaking
of her, inis na inis na
ako sa kanya! Bakit mas mahalaga pa sa kanya ang AU Phoenix kaysa sa sarili niyang
grades? And to
think, damay-damay pa ang magiging grade namin. Nakakainis!

"Talaga lang, ha? Uy, si Semper!" Agad siyang napaturo sa likuran ko at tila may
sariling isip naman ang
leeg ko! I found myself looking at my back! There. Nikki got me! Wala si Semper sa
likuran ko.

"Ashley pala, ha!" She started giggling. Nakakainis! Bakit hinayaan ko ang sarili
kong magpaloko kay
Nikki?! Nagmukha tuloy akong tanga.

4/8
"Nikks, it's not funny." Hinarap ko ulit ang aklat upang kahit papaano ay pigilan
ang pagkapahiya.

"Pero fren, anong nangyari?"

"Nangyari sa?"

"Kinausap ka ba ni Daven?" She asked.

"Why would he?"

Napakunot ang noo ni Nikki. "Hindi ko pa ba nasasabi sa'yo ang nangyari doon sa
pool party ni Ira?"

Mula sa pagkakayuko ay agad akong nag-angat ng tingin. "Anong nangyari?"

"Hindi kita napaghiganti kay Iradessa because Daven already did."

Daven did what? Kung ganoon ay alam nga ni Daven ang nangyari? Paano? Nagkunwari
akong hindi
interesado but I know she knows how much I wanted to hear the details.

"Pinaglaban ka lang naman ni Daven sa harap ng maraming tao and..."

"And?" Argh! Nikki!

"And..."

Pinigilan ko ang sarili kong lakumusin ang papel sa harap ko at ipakain iyon sa
kanya. There she goes
again!

Bigla na lamang siyang tumuro sa likuran ko. "Oh, si Semper!"

I stuck my tongue out. "Hindi mo na ako maloloko." I've learned my lesson already.

She made a face. "Ayaw mong maniwala?"

"No."

5/8
"Kasi?"

"I know you're just teasing me with him. Nikks, sorry but I don't like him just
like how you assume,"
walang pakundangan kong sagot. Muntik na akong mapatalon sa upuan ko nang may
humila sa upuan
na nasa tabi ko at umupo roon ang taong iyon. And it was Semper.

He isn't smiling (yeah, what's new?) His face is serious (uh, basic). His eyes are
dull (always, duh) but
there seems to be something on top of those. Narinig ba niya ang sinabi ko?!

"S-semper?"

My lips started to tremble, and my mind could only think of two things. First is to
throw myself into him
and the second is to ask the questions I have in mind. The second is logical to do,
unlike the first, only
that I need to narrow down my questions and only ask few.

Pinwersa niya ang labi na magpakawala ng ngiti ngunit tila isang ngiwi iyon.
Bahagya siyang tumango
kay Nikki na nakatingin sa kanya.

"Semper! Akala ko ay dalawang linggo kang hindi papasok," Nikki said and grinned. I
eyed her a glare at
bumaling kay Semper.

"Okay ka na ba?" Isang tango ang isinagot niya sa tanong ko.

"Wait, you're sick?" Tanong ni Nikki. Uh, I forgot that she has no idea about the
fact that Semper isn't
human, thus, she knows nothing about his wings tearing accident.

"Oo," sagot ko kay Nikki. Sana lang ay 'wag na itong magdagdag pa ng mga follow up
question.

"Bakit mo alam?"

Eh? "Ano?"

"Ikaw kasi ang sumasagot eh," wika ni Nikki at tumingin sa kanyang relo. "Oopsie,
last class of the day.
Tayo na sa Philo class natin, guys."

Sinimulan niyang iligpit ang kanyang gamit at naunang tumayo sa amin. She walked
ahead of us kaya
naiwan kami ni Semper.

"Sigurado ka bang ayos ka na?"

6/8
"Sigurado ka bang ayos ka na?"

"I'm good, Violet. I had enough rest," malamig na sagot niya. Oh, he is always that
cold, yet his voice
brings warm to me. I'm glad that he is fine now. But I somehow felt uncomfortable
with the way he stares
at me. Alright, I am always uncomfortable if I'm being stared at, but this is
different.

Nauna akong maglakad sa kanya ngunit nakaisang hakbang pa lamang ako ay hinawakan
niya ako nang
mahigpit sa braso. I flinched when I felt his tight grip. It was getting tighter
and becoming hurtful.

Nang mag-angat ako ng tingin mula sa kamay niyang nakahawak sa braso ko patungo sa
mukha niya,
muntikan ko nang mabitawan ang dala kong bag. His eyes were dark and resentful.

"S-semper?"

"Are you the one who's responsible for tearing my wing?" He said in a colder voice.
His voice seems
colder each time he spit a word.

"A--no?!"

"Come to think of it. You were with me when the first time it happened at Dowby's
and then at your
house..."

What?! Holy mother of cheeseburgers, how could he accuse me gayong halos dalawang
oras kada gabi
lang ang tulog ko dahil sa kakaisip sa nangyari sa kanya?!

"Anong pinagsasabi mo?" My mouth gaped open as I wanted to say a lot of things, but
I couldn't find my
voice. Tila may bikig sa lalamunan ko at ngayon ay nagsimulang manubig ang mga mata
ko.

"All I want to hear is your confirmation," he said as he meets my cold eyes.

Isang pekeng ngiti ang pinakawalan ko. "Confirmation, huh? So, you're convinced,
and you really believe
that it's me... Great."

"It's yes or no, Violet."

Nakahanap ako ng lakas ng loob na pigilan ang mga luha ko at sinalubong ang
mapanghusga niyang
tingin. "You don't trust me, do you?"

He clicked his tongue. "It's hard to trust an angel. Even harder to trust humans."
7/8
Sa pagkakataong ito ay nagawa kong tanggalin ang kamay niya sa braso ko. "I see.
And to answer your
question, it's a no."

Hindi ko na hinintay ang sagot niya at agad siyang tinalikuran at naunang naglakad
bago pa man niya
makita ang mga luhang kanina pa nagbabadyang bumagsak.

8/8

Chapter 24: Angels Are Around Us

I found myself so bothered with Semper's accusations to me. Do you know how it felt
when someone sat
behind you and you have no idea what's running on their minds? Nararamdaman ko ang
tingin niya sa
akin. How could he accuse me of such things? Paano ko naman gagawin iyon? Ni hindi
ko nga makita ang
pakpak niya!

"Fren, ako lang ba o sadyang nag-away talaga kayo ni Semper?" Tanong ni Nikki. I
nudge her with my
elbow and motioned my fingers to keep her from asking. Who knows Semper got a super
hearing at
marinig pa kami?

"Don't mind him," sagot ko sa kanya at hinarap na lamang si Sir Duane na nasa
harapan. Mabuti na
lamang at hindi na nagtanong pa si Nikki tungkol sa amin.

I always had this feeling that someone's staring at me. When I turned to my side,
matamang nakatitig
nga sa akin si Daven. He didn't even bother to look away when I met his eyes.
Naasiwa ako sa tingin niya
kaya ako na lamang ang nag-iwas ng tingin.

"Nikks, ano nga pala 'yong sinasabi mo kanina? About Daven and Ira," I asked in a
low voice. Hindi niya
natuloy ang sinabi kanina dahil dumating si Semper.

She leaned forward to me. "They broke up!"

"WHAT?!" Okay, my reaction is exaggerated. Hindi naman sa inaasahan kong hindi na

sila maghihiwalay
at forever na but I didn't expect it to be soon at pagkatapos pa ng ginawa ni
Iradessa sa akin. I guess I
must avoid her more kung ganoon nga ang nangyari.
1/8
Sinenyasan ako ni Nikki na umupo at saka ko lamang din napansin na napatayo pala
ako sa gulat. I bet I
said my 'what' in a loud voice kaya lahat ng kaklase ko ay nakatingin sa akin
ngayon.

"Sorry," I mumbled at muling naupo. Mabuti na lamang ay hindi na ako sinita ni Sir
Duane at nagpatuloy
na lamang sa discussion. For the whole duration of the class, my mind wandered in
the thoughts of two
things. First is Semper's accusation to me and second is Daven and Ira's breakup.

Like the usual, naunang umalis si Nikki samantalang naiwan naman ako. I'm planning
to talk to Ashley
dahil mukhang namimihasa na yata ang isang iyon sa pang-iindian sa akin. I silently
walked on the
corridor samantalang busy ang mga daliri ko sa pagte-text kay Ashley. After a
while, I received a reply
from her.

"See u later at the fountain."

I breathe in relief. Buti naman at napagpasyahan na niyang maging responsable. We

only have a week
now to prepare and I want my presentation to be a good one, or even at least
presentable.

Hinintay ko si Ashley sa fountain ngunit halos trenta minutos na ang dumaan ay wala
pa rin kahit anino
nito. Hindi ko na siya t-in-ext pa, I know how annoying it is kaya kahit kating-
kati na ako na i-text siya
ulit ay hindi ko ginawa. I waited for another fifteen minutes but still, no Ashley
around. Madilim na ang
paligid at mas lalo pa iyong dumilim dahil sa nagbabadyang ulan.

Sa paghihintay ko ay isang tao ang dumating doon pero hindi iyon si Ashley. Bumalik
sa alaala ko ang
ginawa niya sa akin. It's Ira.

"Violet..." Her voice was the pitch that I hate the most. Her eyes met mine at
napansin ko ang tila
nagbabagang apoy sa mata niya. Ang kapal din naman ng mukha niya para puntahan ako
rito at harapin
na tila ba wala siyang ginawa sa akin. "Why do you always play the bitch part that
you always are?"

Hindi ko mapigilang mapataas ang aking kilay. So, I was the bitch here all along?
Gayong siya naman
ang nagsimula ng lahat? "I don't have time for this."

2/8
Tinalikuran ko siya ngunit nagulat na lamang ako nang bigla niyang hinawakan ang
buhok ko. She pulled
it so hard kaya nanlaban ako at gumanti ng sabunot sa kanya. She slapped me few
times at
kapagkuwa'y nilunod ang mukha ko sa tubig na nasa paligid ng fountain.

"Bitch! You deserve that!"

She was so angry at tinulak ko siya kahit hila-hila niya ang buhok ko. Dahil
nakasuot siya ng heels ay
natapilok siya at natumba. "Ano ba ang problema mo!?" Pinunasan ko ang basang mukha
ko, I'm
already crying at alam kung hindi niya iyon napansin dahil basa ang mukha ko.

"Ikaw!"

Kasabay ng sigaw niya ay ang pagdagundong ng kidlat at sunod na bumuhos ang malakas
na ulit. She
ran to the side and grimaced at me before shouting na hindi pa kami tapos. Nang
hindi ko na siya
matanaw ay tiningnan ko ang paligid. There were some students around at sigurado
akong nakita nila
ako nang inilublob ako ni Ira sa tubig. I stood there while few eyes were judging
me right now. Hinayaan
ko na lamang ang ulan na bumuhos ng malakas. What's the point of running to the
side gayong basa na
ako?

Nalublob na ako at naulanan ay wala pa ring Ashley na dumating doon. I felt the hot
liquids in my eyes.
Do you know that feeling that you wanted to cry hard because of frustration? Sa
ngayon ay labis ang inis
na nararamdaman ko. Naiinis ako kay Ashley, kay Ira, pero mas naiinis ako sa sarili
ko. Why do I let
people treat me this way?

Naglakad ako sa ulan at lumabas ng campus. I was soaking wet at paunahan pa ang
pagpara ng taxi. I
waited for another cab pero mukhang wala na silang balak na pasakayin ako dahil sa
sobrang basa ng
damit ko. I waited for few minutes until a white car pulled in front of me. Bumukas
ang bintana at
sumingaw roon ang nakangiting mukha ni Sir Duane.

"Need a lift, Angel? Hey, anong nangyari sa'yo?" Sa gulat nito ay bumaba siya ng
sasakyan at tumayo sa
harapan ko. Alam kong mukha na akong basang sisiw ngayon.

"Kayo po pala, Sir..." I hid by face with my wet hair bago pa man niya mapansin ang
namumugtong mata
ko.
3/8
"C'mon, sumakay ka na," wika niya sa akin. His offer is tempting but I don't want
another false blind item
to appear on the school's freedom wall.

"Ayos lang po ako. May hinihintay po kasi ako." It wasn't a lie. May hinihintay
talaga ako. I'm waiting for
the rain to stop.

"Let's just say this is me being a concern citizen than your instructor.
Magkakakasakit ka riyan sa
ginagawa mo," wika niya. His voice was sincere at tama siya. Magkakasakit nga ako.
Just as I was about
to decline, I sneeze three times. "See? Let's go."

He guided me towards his car at hindi na lamang ako promotesta pa. Sana lang ay
walang chismosang
makakita sa amin at gawan na naman ako ng article. Nang lumulan na rin siya sa
kotse ay pinatay niya
ang aircon at pinaadar ang sasakyan. "Where are we heading, Angel?"

Sinabi ko sa kanya ang subdivision namin. I pressed my cheek on the car's window at
nakiramdam. Sir
Duane is definitely hot. How do others call it? Smoking hot, I guess. Mabait rin
ito at propesyonal sa
kanyang pagtuturo. He's totally a different person when he's in class.

He cleared his throat. "I guess talking is the only way to break the ice between
us." Ngumiti siya nang
maluwang. "May problema ka ba, Angel?"

I sighed heavily. "Who doesn't have a problem, Sir?"

He made a face. "Sir? It's past class hours at isa pa ay wala tayo sa campus,
Angel. You can call me
Duane."

"Sa tingin ko ay mas magiging komportable ako kung Sir ang itatawag ko sa'yo,"
sagot ko. Sa totoo lang
ay hindi naman siya mukhang matanda. Sa katunayan, papasa nga siya bilang kaklase
namin kung
titingnan.

He shrugged. "Alright, if you think so. So, what can I help with your problem?
Pwede mo akong lapitan,
maliban na lamang kung cash." He was trying to sound funny ngunit kahit sinong
komedyante pa ang
itabi sa akin ngayon, sa tingin ko ay mahihirapan silang patawanin ako.

He pulled the car on the side at tinanggal ang seatbelt niya. "Just wait here for a
while, okay?"
4/8
I nodded at saglit lang siyang tiningnan nang bumaba siya ng kotse. My eyes
wandered around pero
walang maisip na tama ang utak ko. I'm not the kind who engages into catfight and
grade school brawls
but why do I've been to those lately? Ni hindi ko lubos maisip ang ganoon.

Nang bumalik si Sir Duane sa kotse ay medyo basa siya dahil tinakbo niya ang ulan.
He bought two
coffees na mula sa isang sikat na coffeeshop. He handed me one cup at tinanggap ko
iyon. I think I really
need coffee right now. Inilapag ko ang kape sa dashboard ng sasakyan at kinuha ang
wallet ko. Naglabas
ako ng pera at iniabot iyon kay Sir Duane.

Napatigil ang tangka niyang pag-inom at kapagkuwa'y bumunghalit siya ng tawa. "You
don't have to pay
for that, Angel. Take it, libre ko 'yan."

Mahirap kaya maghanap ng pera. Why do some people waste it like they don't live
tomorrow? Business
students like me should be wise in spending money. It's okay to spend a lot if
there is a high return. Sabi
nga, the higher the risk, the higher the return. In this case, I don't think
spending a few pesos for a coffee
para sa estudyante ay hindi wise decision. Or I'm just blabbering here and making
coffee a big deal?

Hindi na lamang ako kumontra pa. I shove the money back into my wallet at ininom
ang kape. The heat
that the coffee brought to my body is what I need right now. "Salamat, Sir."

He smiled at nagpatuloy sa pag-inom. "You look like you cried a lot. Love life?"

I shook my head and he apologized. "Sorry, I don't mean to pry."

"Okay lang."

His eyes passed me bago niya binuhay ang makina. "It's okay, Angel. Everything will
be fine soon."

I let out a heavy breath. "I hope they're true."

"Of course. Gasgas na ang linyang iyan but aminin man natin o hindi, it is true.
Everything will be fine, if
not now or tomorrow, it will be soon. It doesn't rain forever," he said in a very
convincing tone.

"Not that. I mean the angels."

I saw him flashed a serious face. Nakahinto ngayon ang kotse dahil naka-stop ang
sign na nasa traffic
light. "They are."

Alam ko, I know one.

5/8
"Naniniwala ka sa mga anghel?" Alright, I didn't peg him to be someone who believes
in angels. Siguro
ay sinasabi lamang niya iyon upang maging maayos ang pakiramdam ko.

"Yup. Sabi nila, lahat tayo ay may guardian angel. They're around us, pretending to
be someone not so
important in our life but the truth is, nand'yan sila upang magbantay. To guide you
and to guard you.
Your angel always get your back, Angel." When he said it, he really sounded sincere
and convincing.

I don't know but I found myself started to feel comfortable with him. "Is it for me
to make me feel
better?" I asked, flashing a half smile.

"Nah, no tea. Just facts," nakangiting sagot niya kasabay ng pagpapaandar sa kotse
nang mag-go signal
na. "Now, you're smiling."

I shrugged my shoulders and sipped my coffee. "That somehow made me feel better.
Are you always
this smooth talker?" I don't know why I found myself amused. Siguro ay dahil bihira
sa mga lalaki ang
maniwala sa anghel. Kahit nga mga bata ngayon ay mahirap nang papaniwalain tungkol
sa existence ng
mga anghel.

He chuckled. "I won a lot of public speaking competition way back in college. But
hey, I really believe
they exist, Angel."

I just smiled at him. And why do I like it that he calls me Angel instead of Violet
or Dizon?

***

Tumila na ang ulan nang marating namin ang gate ng subdivision. I refused to be
taken right in front of
our home at hindi naman nagpumilit pa si Sir Duane. After I thanked him and bid
goodbye, I walked from
the gate patungo sa bahay namin. Napatigil ako nang marating ko ang bahay namin at
nakita ang
pamilyar na motorsiklo.

Semper? What is he doing here? Pagkatapos niya akong pagbintangan kanina, may gana
pa siyang
pumunta rito? I stared at the vehicle for a while. If I listen to an imaginary evil
in my shoulder, I would
have done something to destroy this thing. Kahit ang gulong lang. But then another
imaginary angel on
my other shoulder says no.

"Don't ever think of it."

Halos mapatalon ako nang marinig ko ang boses ni Semper. Nakatayo siya sa likuran
ko, wearing the
same clothes he had at school. His dark gaze lingered on me and I saw his brows
furrowed when he
noticed that my clothes were wet.
6/8
noticed that my clothes were wet.

"Anong ginagawa mo rito?" I tried to make my voice whole.

"Why are you soaked?"

"I don't think we have anything to talk about." Okay, I know we sound stupid. I
asked him a question and
he answered me with a question. Then I replied something out of the topic.

"Go change," he said and tilted his head towards the gate. Damn, why does it seem
like he owns our
house?

"Why do you care?"

"Don't be so immature."

I puffed some air. "Wow? Ako pa ang immature? Kung iniisip mo na nagtampisaw ako sa
ulan dahil sa
'yo, I admire your confidence."

His tongue brushed his lower lip. "I don't think I said that."

"Implied," I snorted. "Tammuz is over, I don't think you have business with me."
Hindi ba't ganoon naman
ang sabi niya, 'di ba? He was tasked to guard me until the red moon of Tammuz at
ngayong tapos na
ang Tammuz, he's supposed to get back to where he came from. Wala na siyang
obligasyon sa akin.

"We do. If you're the one who ripped my wings, I'll make you liable. If not, I owe
you an apology," wika
niya. I snorted at his words. His back to being the cocky angel I always thought he
was.

"Then apologize right away dahil sinasabi ko sa'yo, wala akong kinalaman sa kung
ano man ang nangyari
sa'yo," sagot ko. I crossed my arms and looked away.

"Not yet. You're a human, Violet, and you never know that an angel possesses you
and take over your
body to be capable of things you can't imagine that you can do."

Nilagpasan ko siya at pumasok sa gate. "Umalis ka na, Semper. I have a lot of

things to do kaysa sa
isipin ang mga pinagsasasabi mo."

"Marami pa tayong pag-uusapan," he said in a voice full of conviction ngunit wala

man lamang siyang
ginawa upang hindi ko maisara ang gate. He just remained standing, with his hands
tucked in his
7/8
pockets.

"No, sa tingin ko ay wala na."

"I'll see you tonight," wika niya at tumalikod. I rolled my eyes as I groaned in
frustration. What made him
think I will see him tonight? Huh, he wish!

Before I can get sick ay uminom na ako ng gamot. I sneeze a lot pero sana lang ay
hindi ito tumuloy sa
lagnat. That night I drowned myself with comforting food. I ate heavy dinner at
nag-akyat pa ako ng
dessert sa kwarto ko.

I let everything that happened slide in my mind. Ginawa ko na lamang ang report ko,
the one that
Ashley and I should do. Iwinaglit ko sa isipan ko si Iradessa at ang nangyari.
Damn, it's so hard to mess
with war freaks.

Nang mahiga ako ay tila ayaw kong matulog. Semper said he will see me tonight at
alam ko kung sa
anong paraan niya balak dalawin ako. Through my dreams- and I cannot allow him to
do so, unless he
apologizes first!

Nagpabaling-baling ako sa higaan ko. Is there a way that I cannot allow Semper
inside my dream? My
thinking was interrupted with the sound of my window. Tunog iyon ng lock na tila
binubuksan.

Agad akong tumayo at binuksan ang ilaw. No one was on the window at naka-lock iyon.
Kahit
kinakabahan ay lumapit ako sa bintana at binuksan iyon. No one was there. Am I just
hearing things?
Baka napa-paranoid na ako dahil sa dami ng mga iniisip ko.

Isasara ko na sana ang bintana nang mamataan ko ang isang itim na balahibo. It was
a big feather and I
guess I already have an idea where it came from.

Semper... He really tried to see me but not through my dreams. But why did he leave
without even
seeing me? Kinuha ko na lamang ang balahibo at isinara ang bintana.

8/8

Chapter 25: SILVER TEARS

I made up my mind about confronting Ashley today. Kailangang masabi ko sa kanya na

importante ang
report na ito dahil malaking bahagi ito ng grades namin. But she's taking it for
granted. Okay lang sana
kung individual grades ito kaya lang, by two's din ang grades! Whatever your
partner's performance
grade is, will be yours, too. So ibig sabihin ay kailangan ng teamwork at
cooperation. And patience for
me... but I guess I totally lost all the remaining patience I have.

Ilang beses akong huminga nang malalim habang tahimik na pinapasok ang gym kung
saan nagpapractice ang AU Phoenix. Mas malakas pa yata ang kabog ng dibdib ko kaysa
sa tunog ng mga yabag ko.
Pagpasok ko sa gym ay abala sila sa pag-eensayo sa lifting routines.

"Excuse me?" Walang pumansin sa akin kaya nilakasan ko ang boses ko. "Excuse me."
Napatingin silang
lahat sa akin at ilang beses akong napalunok. "Maaari ba kitang makausap, Ashley?"

Bumaba si Ashley at nagpaalam sa mga kasamahan namin. Malawak ang ngiti niya sa
akin habang
ginigiya ako sa tabi.

"Ikaw pala, Violet. Sorry hindi ako nakasipot kasi abala ang AU Phoe—" Pinutol ko
ang sasabihin niya.

"Ayaw ko sanang maging KJ sa extra-curricular activities mo pero, Ashley, you need

to do this. Damaydamay 'to so if hindi mo gagawin ang parte mo, we'll be doomed."

Her expressions grew darker. "Gawin mo na lang ang part ko kung ayaw mong bumagsak.
I can do the
discussions."

1/9
"Ashley, hindi mo maiintindihan ang report mo kung hindi ikaw mismo ang gagawa ng
presentation mo
—" She cut me off.

"Bakit tinataasan mo ako ng boses, ha, Violet? Can't you see I'm busy?!"

Huminga ako ng malalim. "Hindi kita tinataasan ng boses, sinasabi ko lang na—"

"You really are raising your voice! Oh my God!" Napahawak siya sa kanyang dibdib at
napatingin sa mga
kasamahan na nasa gilid lamang at nakatunghay sa amin. "Hindi mo ba nakikita na
busy kami?"

"Mas importante ang acads!"

"Narinig n'yo 'yon? Sinisigawan niya ako!" Bigla na lamang niya akong tinulak kung
kaya't napaatras ako
ng isang hakbang. She tried to push me again ngunit hinawakan ko ang kamay niya.

"Stop it! Totoo namang mas mahalaga ang acads!" How can people be taking acads for
granted? Hindi
naman ang extra-curricular activities ang basis sa graduation o employment!

Nagulat na lamang ako nang bigla niya akong tinulak, causing me to propel on the
floor. I twisted my
ankle a little and I winced in pain as I tried to stand up.

"Ang yabang-yabang mo, Violet! Ano, dahil ba sa tingin mo mas matalino ka?" She
grabbed my hair at
kahit masakit ang paa ko ay bigla akong napatayo.

"Stop it!"

Patuloy lang siya sa pagsabunot sa akin samantalang panay ang tulak ko sa mukha
niya. I silently
wished I am someone who punches whenever someone pulls my hair. I want to be
someone who can
fought back at great advantage without crying but I wasn't. All I know is that
she's pulling my hair and
I'm pushing her face while my eyes watered. Bakit palagi na lamang akong
nasasabunutan?
2/9
Naririnig ko ang sigawan sa loob ng gym na para bang nasa arena kami. What's worse
is that no one
tried to stop us, sa halip ay nagpustahan pa sila. Hindi ko alam kung gaano katagal
na kami sa ganoong
posisyon. All I know is that my scalp was getting immune to the pain.

"Violet!"

Hindi ko man nakikita kung sino ang tumawag sa pangalan ko, I know it's Nikki
basing on the voice.
Tumakbo siya sa direksyon namin at nakisali sa sabunutan! She started pulling
Ashley's hair at
napapasigaw naman ng mura ang huli.

"Anong ginagawa mo kay Violet! Bitiwan mo siya!" Nikki shouted.

"Bitawan mo rin ako, wala kang pakialam dito— ouch! Let go, bitch!"

Mas lalo lamang akong naiyak. Bakit kung kailan malaki na ako ay saka pa ako
nakapasok sa mga
gulong gaya nito? Catfight isn't my thing. Back in elementary and high school, I am
the most behave
student but now?!

"Tumigil kayo!"

The voice was familiar and when I turned to see who it is, it was Sir Duane.
Tumakbo siya sa direksyon
namin at tinanggal ang mga kamay ni Ashley sa buhok ko. Pero nagmatigas si Ashley
at patuloy sa
paghila sa buhok ko and when she finally let go of my hair, someone was pulling me
by the waist at
gayundin kay Ashley. It was Semper and when I turned to see who pulled me, it was
Daven.

4/9
gayundin kay Ashley. It was Semper and when I turned to see who pulled me, it was
Daven.

Tumayo si Sir Duane sa harap namin samantalang inaayos ni Ashley ang buhok niyang
ginulo ni Nikki. I
didn't bother to fix mine at wala akong pakialam ano man ang hitsura ko ngayon. My
scalp is sore and I
guess fixing my hair would worsen the situation.

"Ano sa tingin n'yo ang ginagawa n'yo?" Dumagundong sa bawat sulok ng gym ang boses
ni Sir Duane.
No one answered at nakarinig ako ng mga hikbi, which to my surprise were coming
from me.

Can someone teach me how not to sob at moments like this? Crying just made me look
like a sore loser
here. Napadako ang paningin ko kay Semper. He looked at me directly and few
moments, he crossed the
distance between us and pulled me from Daven. And why do we cry more whenever there
is someone
who comfort us?

"Si Ashley, Sir!" Tinuro ni Nikki si Ashley. "Nakita ko na lang na sinasabunutan

niya si Violet!"

"At sa halip na paghiwalayin sila ay nakisali ka pa, Miss Ramirez!"

Napayuko si Nikki at humingi ng pasensya. "Sorry po."

"Fix yourselves and we'll fix this matter," wika ni Sir Duane. He looked at me
worriedly bago tumalikod.
Agad naman akong dinaluhan ni Nikki at hinawakan nila ako ni Semper palabas. I took
glance at Daven
who stood and watched us walked away.

Nang tuluyan kaming makalabas ay pumunta ako sa CR kasama ni Nikki at naiwan sa

labas si Semper. I
stared at my reflection on the mirror. My eyes were swollen, my hair's a mess and I
don't look pleasant.

"Gurl..."

"Nikks, I need to be alone." I tried hard not to let my voice crack, but I failed.

"But—"

"Please?"

She stared at me through the mirror at huminga ng malalim. "Fine." Hinawakan niya
ang balikat ko at
humakbang patungo sa pinto.

"Please tell Semper to leave, too."

5/9
She nodded before I watched her disappeared through the door. Nang tuluyang masara
ang pinto ay
pumasok ako sa isang cubicle at ini-lock ang pinto. I closed the toilet cover at
naupo roon bago tahimik
na umiyak.

Why is this happening to me? What did I do to deserve this? Kinalkal ko ang laman
ng shoulder bag to
check for a tissue or handkerchief but I cannot find any. Where the hell are
tissues when you freaking
need them?

"Here."

Napatingin ako sa kamay na nag-abot ng panyo sa harapan ko. My eyes slowly traveled
from the hankie
up to the face of someone standing in front of me. Hindi na ako nagtaka kung paano
siya nakapasok sa
loob ng cubicle kahit pa ikandado ko iyon.

"Didn't I tell Nikki to tell you to leave?" Sagot ko sa pagitan ng mga hikbi ko.

"I only listen to angels who are of higher rank than me and humans are definitely
below us." He moved
his hand holding the hankie again and I accepted it knowing my tears and snot are
all over my face now.

"Pagtatawanan mo ba ako sa estado ko ngayon?" I asked as I wiped my face.

"I don't think it's funny," nakapamulsang wika niya sa akin.

I started crying again. "It's very humiliating! Kung hindi lang dumating si Sir
Duane at kayo, malamang
ay naroon pa rin kami."

Patuloy lang ako sa pag-iyak at nanatili rin siyang nakatayo roon. I sniffed a few
times, but he just
remained standing.

"Hindi mo ba ako iko-comfort?" Where did I get that question? And it was too late
to take it back. Damn.

His facial expression didn't change. Kahit siguro tumambling pa ako rito at lahat,
ganoon pa rin ang
ekspresyon niya. His brows only furrowed a little, before his right arm reached for
me. His palm landed
on my head as he tried to pat me.
6/9
Tinabig ko ang kamay niya. "Hindi ako aso!"

"Who said you are?"

Pinunasan ko ang mga luha ko. "You're patting me!"

"Dog's aren't the only one who's meant to be pat. What happened?"

Yeah, what happened? Kahit ako ay hindi ko alam kung ano ang nangyari. Did I say
anything bad to
Ashley? Am I being mean? Hindi ko alam. All I know is that she's already grabbing
me. I shook my head
as reply.

"Hindi ko alam. Ang alam ko lang nakakahiya... Ang alam ko ang sakit-sakit ng anit
ko." Unti-unti na
naman akong napaiyak. I have to deal with a lot of pain right now. Physical and
emotional pain.

Bahagyang bumaba si Semper upang maging magka-level ang mukha namin. He pressed his
thumb
below my eyes at tinitigan ang luha kong nasa kamay niya. "Silver tears. You're
saved by your guardian
angel." Tumayo siya nang tuwid at muling tinitigan ang kamay niya.

Ginaya ko ang ginawa niya at tiningnan ang mga luha ko. Silver tears? Adik ba siya?
Paano naman
naging silver ang luha ko? "Malabo ba ang mata mo?"

"You cannot see what I see. Ang luha mo ang nagsasabing nasa tabi mo lang ang
anghel na
nagbabantay sa'yo."

My guardian angel? Pilit kong inisip ang nangyari kanina. Habang sinasabunutan ako
ni Ashley, dumating
si Nikki at sinabinutan si Ashley. Dumating naman si Sir Duane na siyang nagtanggal
sa mga kamay ni
Ashley mula sa buhok ko and Daven pulled me while Semper pulled Ashley.

"Saang parte naman ako iniligtas ng anghel ko?" I noted the boredom in my voice.
Somehow, this
conversation with Semper pacified me. "Nanganganib ba akong mamatay sa nangyayari
kanina?"

"From sinning. Hindi niya hinayaang makagawa ka ng isang kasalanan."

I stared at him at mukhang hindi naman siya nagbibiro. At naalala ko! Galit nga
pala ako sa kanya! He
accussed me of ripping his wing!

"Ano bang ginagawa mo rito? Hindi tayo bati dahil pinagbintangan mo ako!" Everyone
who's falsely
accused should feel the same way as I felt. Hindi madaling paratangan ng isang
kasalanang hindi mo

7/9
accused should feel the same way as I felt. Hindi madaling paratangan ng isang
kasalanang hindi mo
naman ginawa, magagawa o gagawin!

"We didn't get to talk last night."

Huh, last night? Umalis lang naman siya ng walang paalam! Ni hindi man lamang
nagpakita sa akin! And
even if he did, hindi ako makikipag-usap sa kanya! Not after he accused me!

"You blocked me from visiting your dream. Don't do that."

Tumayo ako mula sa pagkakaupo. "You didn't visit me in my dream at nagpunta ka na

hindi man lang
ako kinakausap. At kahit pa nagpumilit ka na kausapin ako, I will not allow you—"

"What?"

"Hindi pa rin kita kakausapin—"

"Not that. Anong ibig mong sabihin na nagpunta ako at hindi kita kinausap?" His
stares were dark and
dull.

"My window. You tried opening my window."

"I didn't. Hindi ako iyon. It must be Daven," wika niya. Daven! Daven! Bakit ba
palagi na lamang si Daven
ang pinaghihinalaan niya?

"Ano bang problema mo kay Daven?"

Hindi siya sumagot dahil nahulog siya sa malalim na pag-iisip. "Tammuz is over, ano
pa ang kailangan
niya sa'yo?"

"Mas lalo lang akong naguguluhan." Muli akong napaupo sa takip ng kubeta. "Pwede
bang 'wag mo na
lamang dagdagan ang sakit ng ulo ko ngayon? Walang kahit anong makakagamot nito
kaya please lang,
'wag mo nang dagdagan pa."

"Nagkakamali ka. Angels are capable of removing any kind of pain." Napatingala ako
sa kanya at nagulat
na lamang ako nang hinawakan niya ang magkabilang pisngi ko. He bent his body down
and my eyes
widen when his lips touched my head.

Hindi pa ako nakakabawi sa gulat dahil sa sinabi niya at lalo na sa ginawa niya.
When I was able to move,
8/9
the first thing I did was blinked my eyes. Nang tumingin ako sa harapan ko ay wala
na siya at sarado pa
rin ang pinto. Gone was Semper so as the sore in my scalp.

9/9

Chapter 26: Seize the Day

Napatakbo ako sa pinto nang may kumatok. My brows met as I open the door. Ayaw kong
iniistorbo ako
sa panunuod ng K-drama but whoever it is, that person is persistent kaya wala akong
ibang choice kundi
buksan ang pinto. Napanganga ako nang mapagbuksan ko si Semper, wearing the same
all black outfit
and was successful in making me gape my mouth open for a long time. Sino ang hindi
masusorpresa?
He is knocking at my door. My bedroom door.

I rub my eyes and check if he will disappear but there he is, standing cooly,
giving me his dull gaze.

"Don't try to look stupid."

I made a face. "I'm not. Anong ginagawa mo rito?" Hindi na ako masusorpresa na
nakapasok siya. My
family is fond of him.

"Your Mom's going somewhere with Lav. Bumaba ka dahil wala akong kasama," he said
lazily.

"Edi umuwi ka," I said, ops I didn't mean it. I want him to stay but I don't want
him to know that I want
him to stay. Wait, am I making sense?

"Too tired."

"Ang tamad nito! Wala ka bang bahay?"

1/10
"Meron."

"Yon naman pala eh. Anong ginagawa mo rito?" Hello? Hindi naman sa pang-aano pero
hindi kami close
para gawin niyang hangout place ang bahay namin.

He shrugged his shoulders and didn't answer. His arrogance is simply annoying.
Kahit nakatayo lang siya
ay nakakainis ang presensya niya. Maybe because he feels so at home at my home.

Nang isasara ko na sana ang pinto ay pinigilan niya iyon gamit ang kanyang kamay.
"I told you, your
mom's going somewhere with Lav at wala akong kasama sa baba."

Nakipagtulakan ako ng pinto sa kanya. Kahit halos mangugat na ako sa pagtutulak sa

pinto upang
masara iyon samantalang tila wala lang iyon kay Semper. "I told you to go to your
place. Umuwi ka sa
bahay mo." Damn, are angels naturally strong?

"I don't want to."

"Ganyan ba katigas ang ulo ninyong mga anghel?"

His eyes met mine. "I'm your guest and for a host, you're too rude."

"And for an angel, you're too cocky!"

I saw his eyes traveled down from my eyes to my lips. Naging conscious tuloy ako,
I'm not wearing any
lip tint o kahit lip balm lamang! While he's staring at my lips, he wets his lower
lip with his tongue and I
suddenly felt the urge to close my eyes. And when I finally tried to close my eyes,
muntikan na akong
mahampas sa pinto. Mahigpit ang pagkakahawak ko dahil nagtutulakan kami ngunit
bigla na lamang
bumitaw si Semper.

Tila nais kong sapakin ang sarili ko! I'm anticipating for a kiss, damn! And
another damn for the fact that
Semper can read thoughts! Alam niyang- uh! I don't even want to think about it!
2/10
"Okay." His voice was the usual one and without a hint of mockery. Tumalikod na
siya at tinungo niya
ang hagdan. Nagmamadaling sinara ko naman ang pinto at habol ang hiningang sumandal
doon. I just
hope he didn't read my thoughts a while ago.

I threw myself into the bed at tinakpan ang mukha ko ng unan bago nagsusumigaw.
Ahhhh! How could I
be so stupid? And why am I even expecting for a kiss? Bakit naman niya ako
hahalikan?

Inayos ko ang sarili ko at dumapa sa kama. I reached for my laptop at ipinagpatuloy

na lamang ang
panunuod. Baka mabaliw pa ako sa kaiisip kay Semper at sa halik na inaasahan ko!

Ilang minuto na ang lumipas at kahit papaano ay bahagyang nawaglit sa isipan ko si

Semper. Naaliw na
ako sa panunuod ko nang bigla akong naging asiwa. Pakiramdam ko ay hindi ako nag-
iisa sa silid ko.
When I turn my gaze around my room at muntikan na akong mapasigaw nang makitang
nakaupo si
Semper sa upuan na nasa study area ko.

"Anak ng tokwa! Anong ginagawa mo diyan?!" Halos nakaluwa na ang mga matang tanong
ko. Hello, my
room is my private space. I mean it. PRIVATE SPACE. Umupo ako sa kama at hinablot
ang isang unan at
agad iyong niyakap.

"I told you I'm bored downstairs," sagot niya. How did he get here? Tiningnan ko
ang pinto at gaya ng
4/10
inaasahan ko ay naka-lock pa rin iyon.

"Will you stop walking through walls?" I snapped at him. He looked at me with
furrowed brows.

"What?"

"Yung totoo, X-men ka ba? Bakit ba nakakapasok ka kahit sarado ang pinto?" I asked.
He always do it
and until now ay hindi pa rin ako nasasanay na ganoon.

To my surprise, he chuckled, a thing that he seldom does. "I didn't walk through
the wall. Ginagamit ko
ang pinto."

Yeah, try harder Semper.

Marahil ay napansin niya ang hindi kumbinsidong reaksyon ng mukha ko. "Fine. I
really used the door but
I manipulated your mind."

Mas lalong napakunot ang noo ko. "Ano?"

"I made you think that I didn't use the door when in fact, I did," he said,
pointing at his temple. "Just a
little manipulation."

"You can do that?"

"That and more," he replied.

"You're creeping me again," wika ko at umayos ng upo. "This is my room."

"And?" he asked with a brow raised.

"You shouldn't be here."

"Oh, then where should we go?" Tanong niya at bahagyang nag-isip. WE? Bakit kasali
ako?
"Amusement?"

"No thanks."

5/10
Sa kabila ng pagtanggi ko ay natagpuan ko na lamang ang sarili kong nakaangkas sa
motor ni Semper.
Maybe he have this compelling power that even if I object, siya pa rin ang
masusunod. Or was it because
of me and he has nothing to do it? Heck, hindi na ito maganda.

Pinagpag ko ang suot kong pantalon nang bumaba ako sa motorsiklo niya at inilibot
ang paningin sa
paligid. Maraming tao roon kaya kung sakaling may gawin mang masama si Semper sa
akin ay
maraming makakakita. Eh? Bakit ba ganito ang iniisip ko?

Inikot namin ni Semper ang kabuoan ng amusement park. Wala kaming sinakyan na mga
rides at sa
halip ay nagpunta na lamang sa mga booth na nasa paligid. He stopped by in front of
a henna tattoo
artist.

"Gusto mo?" Tanong ko sa kanya.

He forced a smile and shook his head. "No. Hindi dapat dinudumihan ang balat. We,
angels, don't even
have piercings kahit ang mga babae."

Oh, angels again.

"It's only temporary," wika ko sa kanya. Napansin ko kasi na tila interesadong

nakatingin siya doon.
Hindi naman siguro masama hindi ba? I pulled him inside.

"Violet, no."

I rolled my eyes. "No ka diyan. Ako naman magpapa-tattoo eh," wika ko and I heard
him sigh as he
watched me scan through the designs.

"What do you want?" He asked habang sinasabayan akong tingnan ang mga disenyo.

"Gusto ko nito," I pointed one of the designs. Carpe diem."

He gently nodded and looked for another. He doesn't seem to be pleased with what I
chose. "Hindi ba
maganda? It means 'seize the day'."

"How about you tattoo my name?" Suhestiyon niya.

My eyes widened with his words. Ano siya, sinuswerte? "At bakit ko naman ipapa-
tattoo sa sarili ko ang
pangalan mo?"
6/10
He fixed his ball cap, its brim facing the back. "My name means Always. Always
could be a good motto as
a reminder to yourself. Always be strong. Always be kind. Always be happy and the
list go on."

Sa katunayan ay maganda ang suhestiyon niya. But why am I making this a big deal?
Bakit may malisya
para sa akin. I looked at him, trying to weigh if he also added colors to what he
said but can't find any.
Nanatili akong tahimik at nakatingin lang sa kanya.

He was the first one to break the silence. "So Carpe diem or Semper?" On his lips
was a pirate smile that
was enough for my knees to wobble.

"S-semper."

"Okay," he said and approached the tattoo artist.

***

Pagkatapos magpa-tattoo ay kumain kami ni Semper sa isang cafe. When we got inside
ay napansin
kong nakakunot ang noo niya habang inililibot ang paningin sa loob. Paano ba naman,
nasa Angel Cafe
kami— an angel-inspired cafe. Napakaraming angel figurines sa paligid. Mayroon ding
mga estatwa na
anghel. Mugs were shaped like angels or a cloud.

Semper walked to the side and glares at an angel statue. Natatawang nilapitan ko
siya.

"You look like that angel did something bad to you," wika ko.

"I do not recognize this angel," sagot niya. Oh, he also didn't recognize the angel
statue at the church.

"Malamang dahil estatwa lang 'yan," sagot ko. I pulled him towards our table ngunit
napansin kong tila
hindi pa rin siya komportable sa paligid. "Gusto mo bang maghanap na lamang tayo ng
ibang cafe?"

He shook his head. "No, no. I just find it a little weird to be here. There's a lot
of miniature angels here. "

"Mas gusto mo bang nasa lugar ka kung saan may mga tunay na anghel?"

"It's a great place to be with the angels..." Napansin ko ang kakaibang tingin sa
kanyang mga mata. "But 7/10
"It's a great place to be with the angels..." Napansin ko ang kakaibang tingin sa
kanyang mga mata. "But
I want to become part of the Powers."

Pinigilan ko ang sariling mapangiwi. Whenever I hear the word power, it only
reminds me of Jophiel.
Calculus class and I wrote a quadratic expression reminds me of Jophiel when I
wrote six raised to the
power of nine. PolSci class talking about the power of state reminds me of Jophiel!
Ah basta, kapag
naririnig ko ang salitang power ay naaalaa ko si Jophiel. And I hate it. I hate
her. God, how can I hate an
angel that I haven't even seen?

"Ilang beses mo nang sinabi na power iyang girlfriend mo pero hindi ko pa rin
mantindihan ang sinasabi
mo," wika ko.

He moved the brim of his cap on the side. "It's the Celestial hierarchy. Angels are
divided into nine
distinct ranks according to choir."

Oh, and I thought Jophiel is part of a choir. Geez.

Nagpatuloy si Semper. "Top of the rank are the Seraphim. They bear light and love
and they're the ones
closer to the throne. Next to them are the Cherubim— one who bears the greatest
knowledge. Ang
sumunod naman ay ang Ophanim of the Thrones, the chariot of God."

Nanatili akong tahimik at nakinig lamang sa kanya.

"Next are the Dominations, the one who rule over the lower angels and the first
rank on the second choir.
Next to them are the Virtues— the one who bestow blessings. Sumunod sa kanila ay
ang Power."

"Kung nasaan ang girlfriend mo..." I blurted. Mabuti na lang at dumating na ang
order namin kaya saglit
na napatigil si Semper sa pagsasalita.

Nang makaalis na ang nagdala ng pagkain namin ay nagpatuloy siya. "Powers maintain
the borders and
guard the world from demonic attacks. Next to them are the Principalities— the head
of the last choir.
They watch over the mortal world. Sumunod naman ay ang mga Archangels. Archangels
protect the
church and the people who work for God. They are also responsible in overseeing the
work of Angels—
the last rank."

"And you're part of that rank?" tanong ko.

He nodded his head. "We, angels, do whatever is tasked to us. We send messages to
humans and we
watch over mortals directly."

Nagkunwari akong hindi interesado kahit pa kating-kati na ang dila kong magtanong
pa. "Aren't those
8/10
supposed to be confidential?"

He took a bit on his apple pie. "It is."

"Then why are you telling me these?"

He casually lift his head to look at me. "You'll forget about it later."

Napakunot ang noo ko. Anong akala niya sa akin, may Alzheimer's? Bakit ko naman
kakalimutan iyon?
Baka nga iresearch ko pa!

Hindi na lamang ako nagkomento at sa halip ay kumain na lamang.

Halos gabi na nang makauwi kami ni Semper. We ate and walked around and didn't ride
anything. Nang
inihinto niya ang motorsiklo sa tapat ng bahay namin. I got off and removed my
helmet at iniabot iyon sa
kanya.

"Thanks for today," wika ko sa kanya. Tinanggal niya rin ang suot niyang helmet at
inilagay iyon sa
harapan niya bago tinanggap ang iniabot kong helmet.

From the light of dusk, I saw him smile brightly. It wasn't his usual mocking
smile, it's something that
could make my stomach felt butterflies.

"Are you sure you wouldn't get in trouble with your parents dahil diyan sa tattoo
mo?" Tanong niya sa
akin.

I touched the upper right side of my chest. "Hindi naman, like I said, this is just
temporary."

And for the second time, he gave me a smile. "So, if there's no trouble, I'll go
ahead."

Sinuot niya muli ang kanyang helmet at tuluyang nagpaalam na. I watched as he
disappeared through
the road of the subdivision.

I sighed when I couldn't see him anymore. Trouble was my heart and emotions. I
think I'm feeling
something that I shouldn't be feeling.

Chapter 27: Closure

I tossed and turned on my bed. Damn! Paulit-ulit na bumabalik sa isipan ko ang

nakangiting mukha ni
Semper. Why am I even thinking this way? Iniisip ko siya, eh, ako ba iniisip din
kaya niya?

Kinapa ko ang temporary tattoo na nasa dibdib ko. I felt like I just marked myself
with his name. And to
think that this is not right. Maliban sa katotohanang anghel siya at hindi tao, may
kasintahan din siya.
Why do we always fall for someone who can never be ours? Does anyone experience the
same way?
Nakakalungkot lang isipin.

Kahit hindi ko man lubusang naintindihan ang lahat ng sinabi niya tungkol sa
kanilang mga anghel ay
nakinig pa rin ako sa kanya. Nasabi na rin niya dati na hindi maaring matukso ang
isang anghel sa tao.
That's why it is impossible for him to feel the same way I felt. Mahirap mang
aminin ngunit sa tingin ko ay
iba na ang nararamdaman ko sa kanya.

Do you know that feeling that you just find yourself thinking of someone almost
24/7? You just find
yourself doodling his name over and over. You remember him in everything you do.
Kumain ka man,
mahiga, magbasa, lahat. Lahat ng gagawin mo ay naaalala mo siya. And what's unfair
is that no
assurance that he does the same. You have no way of knowing if kung minsan ba ay
sumagi ka sa isipan
niya. Kahit ilang segundo man lamang.

And there is only little possibility na ganoon din siya sa akin. Siya na mismo ang
nagsabi na may
kaukulang parusa para sa mga anghel na lumalabag sa kautusan. Angels cannot fall in
love with humans
or else they will be a fallen and will suffer all their lives.

And thinking about Semper being fallen is not pleasant. Ayokong magdusa siya at
maging kuba kaya
titigilan ko na ang kakailusyon tungkol sa kanya. I opened my eyes and blinked a
few times and thought
about his remaining days.
1/9
He was not able to go back to wherever he is from during Tammuz but surely he will
on Cheshvan. At
ilang linggo na lamang ay Cheshvan na.

Bigla na lamang akong nakaramdam ng kakaiba. Napalingon ako sa sulok ng silid ko at

munti na akong
mapamura. Mula sa malamlam na ilaw na dulot ng lampshade na nasa bedside table ko
ay naaninag ko
ang nakatayong pigura ni Semper. He stood there in all glory, with his black jeans,
white shirt and black
cap. His eyes meet mine and he took a few steps forward. Napabalikwas ako ng bangon
at napaupo. And
there he is, standing at the foot of my bed.

"S-semper?"

Lumapit siya at umupo sa kama, sa harapan ko. He removed his cap and scrubbed off
his hair with his
hand, making it dangerously messy. He forced a smile and looked at me.

"A-anong g-ginagawa mo rito?" I asked with shaking voice. He replied by shrugging

his shoulders kaya
muli akong nagtanong. "I-is... is this a dream... again?"

He sighed and nodded. His sigh tells me that there is something bothering me ngunit
hindi ko na
nagawang itanong kung ano iyon dahil bigla siyang nagsalita. "Don't make it hard
for me Violet."

Biglang napakunot ang noo ko. "Anong ibig mong sabihin?"

"Temptation is something that I cannot resist," wika niya. My eyes widen as I tried
to sink in my mind
whatever he means. Iniabot niya ang pisngi ko gamit ang isang kamay niya. "I am an
angel in human
form. Angels cannot easily resist temptation, how much more if they're in this
state?"

Hinawakan ko ang kamay niyang nakahawak sa mukha ko. I felt his muscles tightened
at binaba ko ang
kamay niya mula sa mukha. I didn't let it go at sa halip ay pinisil pa iyon.

"Don't think about me," wika niya.

2/9
Napaangat ang tingin ko sa kanya. "What?"

"I can easily invade your dreams if you think about me and right now, it was an
easy way in..." wika niya
at bahagya ring pinisil ang kamay ko.

"I'm sorry."

He remains seated and looked at me. Hindi ko rin binitawan ang kamay niya— as if
it's my lifeline. Hindi
rin ako nagsalita. I want to keep it this way. Ayaw kong maalala na hindi kami
pwede. Sa ngayon ay
naguguluhan ako sa mga sinasabi ni Semper but I didn't dare asking him to elaborate
it.

Ayaw kong biglang maglaho ang bula na nasa isipan ko. The bubble that says that I
caused some
sleepless nights for him too. Gusto kong isipin na bukal sa kalooban niyang pasukin
ang panaginip ko. He
just can ignore it even if this is an easy way, right?

But he burst my bubble. Tumayo siya at binawi ang kamay niyang hawak ko.

"Please forget about the conversation we had about the angels," wika niya.

I slowly nodded my head as I watched him cross the little distance between us.
Assuming na kung
assuming, but I expected him to kiss me ngunit hinipan niya lang pala ang mga mata
ko bago ako
tuluyang nakaramdam ng antok sa panaginip ko.

***

I woke up lighthearted the next day as if I had a good dream. Wait, did I? I don't
really remember.

Pumasok ako sa mga klase ko sa umaga. It's already afternoon at isang klase na
lamang ang natitira. I
sat on one of the university's convenient shed at nagreview ng ilang notes para sa
huling klase ko.

3/9
"Violet!"

Mula sa pagkakayuko ay napaangat ako sa bagong dating na tumawag sa pangalan ko.

And I was
surprised to see who it was.

Ashley.

"Thank God naabutan din kita!" She said and smiled widely. Inilapag niya sa harap
ko ang dalang plastic
folder. "Tapos ko na palang gawin ang written report ko. I'm halfway done with my
powerpoint
presentation, too."

Napakunot ang noo ko. Ashley sounded so sincere. Walang pagkukunwari. Walang halong
.kaplastikan.
What? Did she forget about what happened last week?

"Violet, ayos ka lang ba?" Tanong ni Ashley. "You look pale."

Saka lamang ako natauhan. Kinalma ko ang sarili ko. Maybe this is for the better.
Nagkukunwari siyang
walang maalala.

"I'm f-fine."

She looked at her wristwatch. "I have to go Violet, may practice pa ang Phoenix.
Pwede bang ikaw na
lang din ang mag-submit niyan?"

I nodded my head as a reply at tinanaw siya habang papalayo. Why is she acting
weird?

Come to think of it, hindi kami nakapunta sa guidance gaya ng sinabi si Sir Duane.
We have classes that
afternoon at sa halip na bumisita sa guidance ay pinili kong pumasok. Hindi rin
kami pinatawag sa
broadcasting system ng Carson. Normally, cases like those are scheduled immediately
and students at
fault's attention are called.

I suddenly felt sick. This is really weird. I checked the time and it say it's
thirty minutes bago ang Philo
class ko. Ipinasya ko na lamang na magpunta ng library upang kalmahin ang sarili. I
walked my way
towards the library ngunit saglit akong napatigil nang mapansin ko ang isang taong
nakaupo sa gilid ng
library. Sa tabi niya ay may supot na naglalaman ng mga pagkain at sa kamay niya ay
may ilang maliliit
na piraso ng fried chicken kung saan kumakain ang dalawang kuting. The guy must
have felt my
presence kaya napalingon ito sa gawi ko.

Nagulat ako nang makita si Sir Duane. I smiled awkwardly and greeted him a good
afternoon. Gumanti
naman siya ng ngiti at maingat na inilapag ang hawak na pagkain at tumayo.
4/9
"Hey, good afternoon, Angel."

He was feeding the kittens there and I somewhat admired what he is doing. Madalas
kasi sa mga admin
staff na naglilinis sa library ay tinatapon ang mga galang pusa na nagagawi roon.
But looking at him, he
even feed them. Nagpalipat-lipat ang tingin ko sa kanya at sa pusa at marahil ay
napansin niya iyon.

"Nakita ko lang, kawawa naman kasi," he said and smiled awkwardly, na tila ba
nahihiya sa nakita ko.
Well it wasn't even something to be ashamed of.

"Mahilig po pala kayo sa pusa."

"Every animal deserves all the kindness in the world," sagot niya. I looked at him
intently at hinintay na
buksan ang topic tungkol sa nangyari sa amin ni Ashley last week. But he didn't.
His attention was now
back on the kittens again who were asking for more food.

I felt my stomach turned. This is getting a lot weirder. Bakit maging si Sir Duane
ay tila walang maalala
tungkol doon? Are they purposely acting like it didn't happen? I guess no. Bakit
naman nila iyon
gagawin?

I excused myself at agad na pumasok ng library. I was in the middle of confusion

nang dumating si Nikki.

"Yow, wazzup girl."

Nag-angat ako ng tingin sa bagong dating na si Nikki. Magkaklase kami ngayon sa

Philo class along with
Semper and Daven.

"Nikks?"

"Oh?" She picked up the folder that Ashley gave me. She scanned through it and I
waited for her to talk
about what happened, but she didn't.

"That's from Ashley."

"Buti naman natapos niya," sagot niya. It's just her normal tone when I rant about
Ashley. Wait, hindi rin
ba niya naaalala ang nangyari.

5/9

"You don't remember?" I asked.

"Remember what?" She asked with forehead creased. Suddenly I felt a little upset.
Did it really happen?
Why doesn't anyone seem to remember it?

Napahawak na lamang ako sa noo ko. I massaged it a little at nang papaano ay bumuti
naman ang
pakiramdam ko. I look at Nikki who keep on scanning through Ashley's output. Mukha
naman talaga
siyang walang maalala tungkol doon. Sa isipan ko ay hindi ko lubusang maisip kung
anong kababalaghan
ito.

"Nikks."

"Hmmm?" Mula sa pagkakayuko ay napabaling sa akin ang mukha niya.

"Naniniwala ka sa mga anghel diba?" I asked.

She nodded her head. "Yes, and I've seen one."

My eyes widened. "Totoo?"

She raised her pointer finger and pointed at my direction. Agad naman akong
napalingon sa likuran ko,
only to find no one.

"Parang baliw 'to! Ikaw ang tinuturo ko. You're an angel dahil pakokopyahin mo ako
ng assignment, 'di
ba?" She asked wriggling her brows.

I made a face before I handed her my homework. Tsk! Akala ko naman totoo na! Minsan
talaga may mga
kaibigan tayong walang kwentang kausap.

Agad namang kumopya si Nikki sa assignment ko at kinausap ako habang nagsusulat.

"Ba't mo natanong?"

I shrugged my shoulders. "Wala lang. I'm just curious."

"Pero sabi nila, lahat daw tayo ay may guardian angel," wika niya.
6/9
I remained silent. Well that's what Semper said too.

"They're meant to protect and guide us," dagdag niya.

She sounded serious. And hearing Nikki sounded serious is a seldom thing to happen.
Madalas ay wala
siyang kwentang kausap and most of the times, she talks about boys and delinquency.

"They're always with us. Pero sa totoo lang, I'd rather have a hot good-looking
bodyguard than an angel,"
wika niya. See? I told you.

"Angels are hot and good-looking," sagot ko, as my mind wandered towards Semper.
Too bad, he's not
my guardian angel but someone who will guard me for a short period of time.

"Ows? May kilala kang anghel?" Nikki asked. She looked at me unbelievably. "Paano
mo nalamang hot
sila at good-looking?"

"Paano mo nalamang hindi?" I shot back.

She just pouted at me at ibinalik na lamang ang papel ko. "Halika na nga! Baka ma-
late pa tayo."

She pulled me towards the library's exit. Pagdating namin sa classroom namin ay
marami-rami na ang
kaklase naming naroon. Even Daven and friends. Semper's seat is still empty.

Hindi ko pa man nararating ang upuan ko ay bigla na lamang tumayo si Daven at

sinalubong ako. He
held my wrist tightly but gently.

"Can we talk? And I won't take no for an answer," wika niya, not minding everyone's
eyes.

The whole class fell silent and Nikki broke it with a whistle before pushing me
towards Daven. I scowled
at her bago inililat ang tingin kay Daven. It's nice to look at him directly
without the pain. Maybe this is
because I finally moved on.

"Sure," nakangiti kong sagot. Bahagya siyang nagulat sa reaksyon ko ngunit saglit
lamang iyon. He
pulled me towards the door and a few moments later, we were on the parking lot
inside his car.

Nanatili akong tahimik at ganoon din siya na para bang naghahanda siya para sa mga
sasabihin niya.

7/9
"We might miss our class," basag ko sa katahimikan.

"I don't care. I need to talk to you," puno ng kaseryosohang wika niya.

"Oh, tungkol saan?"

"About us," he replied with a sigh. I want to tell him that there's no US anymore,
but I remained silent at
hinintay na lamang na muli siyang magsalita.

"I love you, Violet."

Kung sa ibang pagkakataon, malamang ay nangisay na ako sa kilig. Those words are my
weakness but
now it sounded to plain— especially now that it's coming from him.

"Dav—"

He cut me off. "Let me finish please. I love you, Violet. I really do. And because
I love you, I'd do anything
for you even if it means the end of my happiness."

If I'm the old Violet, I really have died already in happiness. Ilang beses din
niyang sinabi na mahal ako
kahit kapalit nito ay kaligayahan niya. "Anong ibig mong sabihin?"

"Hindi man madaling paniwalaan pero sasabihin ko pa rin. I am not human— I mean not
totally."

Biglang napaawang ang bibig ko at hindi ko mahanap ang tamang salita na sasabihin
ko.

"I'm a descendant of a Nephil— a half human, half angel. Tinakot ako Violet. He
wants to harm you kapag
hindi ko sinunod ang mga sinabi niya..." Daven started crying at hindi ko alam kung
bakit tila piniga ang
puso ko nang makita siyang umiiyak.

"D-daven..."

"He said he will hurt every important person in my life kapag hindi ko sinunod ang
sinabi niya... And
breaking up with you is the only way to protect you."

Nagugulahang napatitig ako sa kanya."He? Who is he?"

8/9

"The fallen angel in my bloodline. I'm sorry. Patawarin mo ako Violet, that's the
only way I can think to
protect you," wika niya.

Nakagat ko ang pang-ibabang labi. This is so good to hear but I cannot bring myself
to be happy. I
remembered what Semper said.

If he really loves you, he will do everything so that you two will be together. But
Daven's definition is
that he will protect you because he loves you kahit pa katumbas niyon ay ang iwan
ka.

"Why are you telling me all of this now?" Tanong ko. Matagal ko nang gusto malaman
'to but it was too
late.

"Dahil pagod na ako Violet. For once I really want to be happy. I'm done following
him! I hate this
bloodline. Bakit kailangang ganito pa?" Hinawakan niya nang mahigpit ang kamay kong
nakapatong sa
tuhod ko. "Come back to me, Violet. Please."

My chest suddenly felt light. No doubts and hesitations about what to answer. I
gave him a genuine smile
and squeezed his hand.

"I'm sorry, Daven, but I can't."

Sa huling pagkakataon ay ginawaran ko siya ng totoong ngiti bago tuluyang lumabas

ng sasakyan.

9/9
Chapter 28: Kiss

It felt so good to finally moved on over someone. Magaan ang pakiramdam ko dahil sa
isiping nagkaroon
na kami ng closure ni Daven. I no longer look at him with longing and regrets. No
more jealousy
whenever I see him with Ira. I'm totally free from the past.

Bumalik ako sa classroom at nanaig ang kagustuhan kong makita si Semper ngunit
nadismaya lang ako
dahil hindi siya pumasok. Dumating na si Sir Duane at nagsimula na ang klase, but
still no Semper
showed up.

Hindi ko mapigilan ang sarili kong maging matamlay. The class ended at naisip ko
rin na malamang
nakatayo si Semper sa labas gaya ng dati pero wala. In the end ay sumuko na ako. I
know I will not see
Semper around kaya nagpasya akong puntahan siya sa apartment niya.

Nang marating ko ang apartment niya ay nagtatalo ang kalooban ko kung kakatok ba
ako o hindi. Hindi
ko rin maiwasang mag-alala. What if he got another wound again just like what
happened last time kung
kaya't hindi siya nakapasok sa klase?

Matapos makipag-debate sa sarili ko ay buo ang desisyong itinaas ko ang kamay upang
kumatok but to
my surprise, the door opened first.

There stood Semper, half-naked in all his glory. His black jeans hang on his waist
perfectly and his broad
shoulders and well-built chest could pass as one of the seven wonders of the world.

Hindi ko na napigilan ang sarili ko. I took away all my inhibitions and threw
myself into him. Niyakap ko
siya nang mahigpit at ibinaon ang mukha ko sa leeg niya. I never thought that I
could initiate such hug,
especially to Semper but here I am, doing this unimaginable thing.

1/6
I felt his muscles tightened. He was probably surprised by my gesture ngunit mas
lalo ko lamang
hinigpitan ang pagkakayakap sa kanya.

"V-violet..." His voice was pleading. I don't know if what is he pleading for.

I sniffed the scent of mint and everything nice in his body kaya mas lalo ko lamang
isinubsob ang sarili
ko sa kanya. Again, his muscle tightened, and I heard the door behind me harshly
closed. Right after I
heard the door clicked, I felt my body gently pushed to the door. Ilang sandali
lamang ay magkatapat na
ang mukha namin ni Semper.

He lowered his head to level mine. His dull dark eyes were boring through me. I can
see a different
emotion in those dark gems.

"I told you that I cannot resist temptation..." he said and then seconds later, his
lips were on mine.

My eyes widened upon the sudden contact of our lips. It was my first but I never
thought that it would be
this good. Nakapikit ngayon ang mga mata ni Semper, as he nibbled on my bottom lip
as if he is enticing
me to kiss him back. I parted my lips and unconsciously gave him entrance to
explore more inside my
mouth. The heat coming from him felt so good that I lazily closed my eyes and
follow his lead.

Semper felt it and I heard a slow moan that was surprisingly coming from me! God,
it was from me! I felt
Semper smiled against my mouth at halos mamula ako sa hiya. That's when he pulled
me closer to him,
his hands supported my waist as he explored my mouth.

He pressed me against the door and I cannot prevent myself from fondling his hair.
My fingers find its
way towards the back of his head, messing up his hair and pulling it gently. He was
surprised at mas
lalong nasurpresa ako sa sarili ko. He continued kissing me and I found myself lost
in another world with
his hot kisses. It made me want for more.

The kiss was long and passionate but we both need to gasp for air. Pinutol niya ang
halik but he didn't
open his eyes yet. His forehead was pressed against mine and our noses were
touching.

When he finally opened his eyes ay muli akong namula ngunit nginitian niya ako bago
ako niyakap ng
mahigpit.

2/6
mahigpit.

"Why are you here, Violet?" He asked, without breaking the hug.

"I... Na-napadaan l-lang..." Damn, why can't I talk properly?!

"And here I thought you missed me," wika niya. His chin was on top of my head.

Hindi na ako nagpa-tweetums pa. We kissed already so there's no use denying.

"I did."

"Hmm, that's good to hear," wika niya.

I broke free from his hug. "Bakit hindi ka pumasok? And where's your shirt?" Nag-
iwas ako ng tingin sa
kanya.

Tinungo niya ang sofa at kinuha ang nakasampay na T-shirt doon. I saw his scarred
back at hindi ko
mapigilang maawa sa kanya. Sinundan ko siya at tumayo sa likuran niya, gently
touching his scar.

Nagulat siya sa ginawa ko ngunit hinayaan niya lamang ako. He sighed at

napabuntong-hininga rin ako.
Seeing his scar reminded me that we cannot be together.

Magkaiba kami ni Semper. We cannot be together because I am human and he's not. And
even if he
chooses to be human, hindi lamang peklat ang aabutin niya. It could be an ugly
hunchback. I ran my
fingers through the bumpy scar.

"It's ugly, right?" Tanong niya.

Umiling ako kahit na hindi naman niya iyon nakikita dahil nakatalikod siya sa akin.
"No. Your scars are
pretty." I want to say I love everything about him. Even his scars.

Muli siyang napabuntong-hininga bago tuluyang sinuot ang damit niya at hinarap ako.
"It's Cheshvan."
3/6
Ngumiti ako ng mapait. So it's already Cheshvan at araw o oras na lamang ay tuluyan
na siyang aalis. I
wonder if he can still remember me if he's back to wherever he is from. And to
answer that question,
malamang hindi.

Semper has a girlfriend. Whatever happened between us few moments ago is purely
earthly attractionat least for him. Because mine was attraction in different level.
It could be that he is an angel in his weak
form and here I am, making him sin. Hindi ko maiwasang malungkot sa isiping iyon.

Sinadya kong ibahin ang usapan. "Hindi ka pumasok ngayong araw." It's more like a
statement than a
question.

Tumango siya bilang sagot. "I met Jophiel."

Tila nilakumos ang dibdib ko. So, he met with her girlfriend first before he meets
with me. Aw.

"Ah, good for you." I tried to sound normal, but I cannot hide the pain in my
voice.

"I'm leaving tomorrow night," wika niya sa malamig na boses. Suddenly, I felt
uneasy. Wala naman akong
sugat but it felt so painful. Naninikip ang dibdib ko at tila kailangan ko ng
anumang susuporta sa akin
bago tuluyang bumigay ang mga tuhod ko. Gladly there was the sofa kaya agad akong
napahawak roon
at pigilan ang sariling mabuwal. Umatras ako ng ilang hakbang upang makahinga nang
maayos.

"G-good for you." Good for him. Just for him. Dahil alam kong hindi maganda ang
dulot sa akin ng pagalis niya. I'll be left alone along with our memories- that if
I could still retain them.

He remained staring at me. Nakakainis na wala man lamang akong mabasa na kung ano
sa mukha niya.
It was totally blank as he stares at me. "Y-you've been waiting for that moment,
right? A-alam kong
nami-miss mo na si J-jophiel."

My word suddenly felt like daggers cutting straight through me. Amazing how I was
able to bear the pain
for every word that I said about Jophiel and his departure. It was a total awkward
situation. We just
shared a kiss and now we're talking about him leaving and his girlfriend.

"Bakit tila hindi na nagpapasaya sa akin ang isiping iyan? The thought that I'll be
returning to be with
Jophiel always hyped me up but now it feels void and normal," he said in a sincere
tone.

Napatingin ako sa kanya. He had the same serious face, like he really means what he
said. Agad naman
iyong nagdulot ng kakaibang apoy sa dibdib ko. By that, I felt a little spark
inside me that was enough to
keep me going. Does this mean that the feeling is mutual or it's just that I am a
pure temptation,
successfully pulling him to the pit of sinning?
4/6
"S-semper..."

"But it's not for me to decide to stay or not. I'm an angel and have my duties..."
his voice cracked up a
little. Muli ay sinalubong niya ang mga mata ko at naging asiwa ako. I bit my lower
lip to remove my
uneasiness. I saw him swallowed a few times as he stared at my lips, his Adam's
apple moving up and
down.

Ikinuyom niya ang kamao at tumingin sa sahig- obviously removing his attention to
me.

"P-paano naman ang lahat ng maiiwan mo?" Wala sa sariling tanong ko.

He shrugged his shoulders. "You will not remember me. Walang records sa school, sa
apartment na ito.
All pictures of me here will vanish along with everyone's memories of me. Everyone
will forget about me
as if I didn't exist."

Thinking that I will forget everything about him suddenly brought a pang in my
chest. I will forget about
his lackluster eyes, his pretty mole on his nose, his smirk, the color of his eyes,
his scent and everything
about him. One day I'll forget about those and maybe he'll forget about me too.

Hindi ko mapigilang malungkot. "I wish I could retain the memories." I took a step
towards him. Pinanatili
ko ang ilang pulgadang distansya sa pagitan namin. Inilibot ko sa kabuoan ng mukha
niya ang mga mata
ko, memorizing every feature of him. Kung pwede nga lang sana ay may SAVE function
and utak ko at
nang maitago ko roon ang lahat ng alaala ko sa kanya.

I only had few hours to do so. I could stay up all night just to stare at his face.
Naramdaman ko ang
pangingilid ng luha ko. Humakbang ulit ako at hinawakan ko ang mukha niya. My
fingers traced every
attribute of his face. His brows, eyes, nose, lips- everything in his face.

Kung darating man ang araw na makakalimutan ko na ang mukha niya at siya, I hope I
could still
remember how it felt touching his face.

"You will forget about me," wika niya sa malumanay na boses. "You will not remember
even a single
feature of my face. That's the standard rule."

He closed his eyes as he felt my touch. Hindi ko na napigilan ang paglaglag ng mga
luha ko.

"If that will happen and I'll eventually forget everything about you, I wish I
could still remember how it
felt to kiss you," wika ko sa kanya bago ako napatingkayad at inilapat ang bibig ko
sa kanya.

My lips gently moved at sinabayan niya iyon. It was a gentle kiss, unlike the first
one that seemed rushed.
My lips gently moved at sinabayan niya iyon. It was a gentle kiss, unlike the first
one that seemed rushed
and hungry. This kiss felt slow, like I can savour every second, feeling the touch
of his lips.

Then I felt his hands supported my thighs at binuhat ako. My legs wrapped around
him as he walked
towards the sofa and sat there, with me straddling on his lap; trying to save all
the good feeling of his
kiss at the corners of my mind.

6/6

Chapter 29: Farewell

I was a pure-blooded Maria Clara who believed that I shouldn't kiss someone who
isn't my boyfriend. Or
at least someone else's boyfriend but then suddenly, here I am.

We're both sitting on the sofa. Magkatabi kami ni Semper ngayon. His back was
pressed on the backrest
samantalang nakasandal naman ang ulo ko sa dibdib niya. His hand was caressing my
hair while the
other was playing with my finger. Hindi ko alam kung bakit tila gustong-gusto ko
ang posisyon namin.
Pakiramdam ko ay iyon na yata ang pinakamagandang posisyon sa mundo. And right
beside him is the
best place in the world.

"I wish you'll stay longer," wika ko sa kanya. I removed all the hesitations and
say all my thoughts dahil
alam kong wala na akong ibang pagkakataon upang sabihin sa kanya ang lahat ng nasa
isipan ko.

"I wish, too." sagot niya.

"Can't you?"

Isang malaking buntong-hininga ang pinakawalan niya. "I can but I can't. Magulo,
Violet."

"Masama bang hilingin na sana nandito ka pa rin? Kahit na hindi mo na ako kilala. I
just want you to stay
here." Alam kong kahit ano pa mang pagsusumamo ko ay hindi ko na mapipigilan ang
pag-alis ni
Semper.

"I'll be somewhere, watching you from a distance."

"You're supposed to guard humans, right? Why don't you guard me?" I know I'm
blabbering here. Kung

1/8
"You're supposed to guard humans, right? Why don't you guard me?" I know I'm
blabbering here. Kung
anu-ano na ang sinasabi ko just to make him. Yes, I'm that desperate. Alam kong
matagal nang gusto ni
Semper na umalis. He wanted to be with Jophiel, I know. But is this really what
love is? Minsan ay
nagpapakatanga tayo?

Am I bad for making an angel guilty of infidelity? Inilayo ko ang sarili ko sa

kanya at umayos nang upo.
He looked puzzle and remained staring at me when I separated myself.

Tinitigan ko rin ang kabuoan ng mukha niya. Staring at his emotionless face almost
take my breath
away. Yes, by simply doing nothing, Semper managed to make me gasp for more air to
breathe.

"You already have a guardian." Sagot niya. "You've met him already at some point in
your life."

Gusto ko sanang sabihin sa kanya na sana siya na lang. But it would be unfair for
him. For my guardian.
Minsan ay kailangan talaga nating tanggapin na may mga bagay sa mundo na hindi
pwede kahit gaano
pa natin kagusto.

Gaya na lamang ng pananatili ni Semper. Gaya ng katotohanan na panandalian lamang

ang pananatili
niya rito. I cannot just make him choose between angel duties and me dahil alam
kong talo pa rin ako. I
was just a temptation, that this angel in front of me cannot resist.

I draw more air. "You kissed me."

"I did," sagot niya. "And it was wonderful."

I felt the butterflies in my stomach. Labis-labis ang kasiyahan na naramdaman ko

ngunit sa sulok ng
isipan ko ay may bumabagabag. Semper is supposed to be the angel of faithfulness
but suddenly I just
made him guilty of infidelity. And I don't even see regrets in his face that's why
he is making it not easy
for me. I tempted an angel. I did.

I have to escape before I will totally lost all my mind here. I could end up
kneeling and begging him to
stay at bago pa man mangyari iyon ay kailangan ko nang pigilan ang sarili ko.
Pinulot ko ang bag ko at
isinukbit iyon sa balikat ko.
2/8
"I need to go," wika ko at tumayo.

Tumayo rin si Semper. I heard him gasped a little. He was rubbing his palms on his
jeans, his eyes
skimming past me as if he wanted to hear more of what I will say.

Naramdaman ko ang pangingilid ng luha ko. The thought that he's leaving tore me up.
What's sad is that
I realized that I totally moved on with Daven because of Semper but then he will
leave too. And that's
permanently.

"I'll drive you home," wika ni Semper, taking a step to get his keys ngunit
pinigilan ko siya. That will be
harder for me. Kailangan ko nang sanayin ang sarili ko na wala siya. There would be
no one to stare at
me dully, no one to stand on door and surprising me at a different level. No one to
mess with my head.

I shook my head. "Huwag na." My voice cracked but I did my best to sound fine.

"But--"

Pinutol ko ang sasabihin niya. "Don't make it harder for me, please?"

His dark gaze stared through me at bahagyang nakaawang ang labi niya. The lip that
I just nipped a
while ago like it was my life line. Bahagya pa iyong namula or maybe he really had
a natural red lip. Nagiwas ako ng tingin doon.

"Fine. I'll see you tonight. Will you stay awake for me?" Tanong niya. I know he's
referring to my sleep
when he said he'll see me tonight. I have to let him inside my system as I lie
awake. Gusto ko sanang
tumanggi ngunit hindi ko napigilan ang sarili kong tumango.

He crossed the distance between us and gave me a tight hug. Bago pa man ako muling
malunod sa
yakap niya, I break free from his hug although I didn't want to.

"Goodbye, Semper," wika ko bago tuluyang humakbang at lumabas ng pinto. I prevented

myself from
looking back and I successfully did.

***

3/8
***

Matamlay ako buong gabi. It feels like forever waiting for him in my dreams. Kahit
na nakahiga ako ay
dilat na dilat ang mga mata ko at iniisip ang natitirang oras na nandito pa si
Semper. Posible bang umalis
na siya at hindi man lamang ako binisita? Was the 'I'll see you tonight' that he
said isn't true?

Gumulong ako sa kabilang bahagi ng kama at inabot ang cellphone ko. It says that
it's past nine.
Malamang nagpapahinga na ngayon sina Daddy at kahit si Lav. Sumagi sa isipan ko na
puntahan ulit si
Semper sa apartment niya ngunit pinigilan ko ang sarili ko.

Minadali kong gawin ang mga assignment ko at lahat upang maagang makatulog with the
hope that I'll
see Semper for the last time. Ganito siguro marahil, kapag nae-excite ka sa isang
bagay ay pinaglalaruan
ka ng pagkakataon.

My phone suddenly rings at agad kong tiningnan kung sino iyon. When I saw Nikki's
name flashed on the
screen ay hindi na ako nag-atubili pang sagutin iyon.

"Violet!" Maingay ang naririnig ko sa background kaya marahil ay nasa bar na naman
si Nikki, partying
all night.

"Nasaan ka?" I asked.

"Dowby's!" She replied and chuckled a little. Mukhang lasing na siya. Nikki has
this habit of calling me
every time she's drunk and I don't know why.

"Lasing ka na ba? I think you should go home," wika ko sa kanya. Nikki is the party
girl type, halos gabigabi ay nasa bar o anumang party pero kahit ganoon ay naging
magkaibigan pa rin kami. We're total
opposites but we get along so well.

"Hindi ako lasing 'no."

Muli ay nakarinig ako ng malakas na sigawan na para bang nagkakasiyahan talaga sila
roon.

"Nikks, pupuntahan kita diyan at ihahatid kita sa inyo. You still know the way
home, right?" tanong ko.
Kahit isang beses ay hindi pa kasi ako nakapunta sa kanila.

"No, you don't need to take me home," she said while giggling. "Just stay where you
are, don't leave
home, Violet, okay?" Geez, she sounded like a concerned friend na para bang ako ang
lasing gayong siya
naman pala.

4/8
"Pero Nikks--"

"Stay home, baby geeeerl," wika niya at pinatay ang tawag.

Tss, see? Wala talagang kwentang kausap ang mga lasing. Sabagay, halos gabi-gabi
naman siyang
gumala, she can still manage to go home and even go to school the next day.

I tossed my phone on the bedside table and covered my body with my blanket. My mind
wandered to a
lot of things bago ako tuluyang hinila ng antok.

Nagising ako dahil sa pakiramdam na may nakatingin sa akin. I slowly opened my eyes
at natagpuan
kong nakaupo si Semper sa tabi ko. His hand is caressing my hair. Napabalikwas agad
ako ng bangon.

"Semper!"

Tumango siya at umayos rin ng upo. Inilibot ko naman ang paningin sa kabuoan ng
silid ko. Hindi na ako
nagtanong kung nasa panaginip ba kami. He remained silent and sat next to me.

"You're leaving now?"

Dahan-dahan siyang tumango samantalang pinigilan ko naman ang luha ko. Kinagat ko
ang pangibabang labi ko upang pigilan ang mga hikbing nagbabadyang lumabas.

Semper's eyes fell to my lips and then looked away. He held my hand tightly and
played with my fingers.
"Stop that."

"Stop what?" Tanong ko.

"Stop biting your lips," he said. "If you do that, I might kiss you right now and
break the rule."

Naramdaman ko ang pamumula ng pisngi ko. Kahit gusto kong halikan niya ako ay
tinigilan ko pa rin ang
pagkagat sa labi ko. I can feel that he is really refraining himself from kissing
me.

"Violet... I've thought this over and over." He paused and let out a heavy breath.
"Sabihin mo lang sa
akin na ayaw mong umalis ako, I could break the rule," Semper said. Nanlaki ang mga
mata ko. It was the

5/8
akin na ayaw mong umalis ako, I could break the rule," Semper said. Nanlaki ang mga
mata ko. It was the
most tempting sentence that he said!

Ngunit kaya ko bang makita si Semper na maghirap? Could I bear it seeing him
struggle with his
hunchback as I grow old? How about Jophiel? His duties as an angel?

"I can let myself break our principles. I could give up my wings. I don't mind
falling into the dark side..."
Tila naghihirap ang sariling wika niya.

I crawled onto the bed and went to his back. He remained stiff as I lift his shirt
and his scarred back came
into view.

May isang sariwang sugat doon. It's so fresh that it might have been an hour passed
when it first
occurred.

"Anong nangyari sa likod mo?"

Napabuntong-hininga siya. "The first long scar was because someone ripped it."

Of course, I knew that. Minsan pa nga niya akong pinagbintangan na may gawa niyon.

"The fresh one is just this afternoon."

"Ano?!"

"I kissed you. I let myself devoured by lust--- a deadly sin. Hindi lamang iyon, on
my stay here I have
committed a lot of sins that caused my wings to wither and now, I'm a fallen angel.
I could end up totally
losing them."

My tears fell as my hand traced the scar on his back. A scar indicative of wings
that must have hurt a lot
when it was ripped.

"You shouldn't have broken the rule!" Hindi ko na napigilan ang sarili kong umiyak.
His wings... he could
lose his wings.

Gumalaw siya at humarao sa akin. He caught my hands and gently pressed it. "Sorry,
but I already did. I
don't mind losing my wings if it means being with you."

"Your sweet words are the last thing I need right now. See? Now you're fallen!"
6/8
He pulled me close and buried his face on her neck while his arms reached for her
waist. "Haven't I fallen
hard enough?"

Muli ay naramdaman ko ang pamumula ko. Nanghihina ang mga tuhod ko dahil sa
pinagsasabi niya.
Mabuti na lamang at nakaupo kami dahil malamang kanina pa ako nabuwal kung sakaling
nakatayo man
kami.

"I'll give up my wings. I'll beg the Dominitions and Archangels if that's what it
takes to but I need to find
out first who's trying to rip my wings," wika niya. I saw a hint of anger in his
eyes.

Gusto ko sanang itanong sa kanya ang maraming bagay. How about us? What will happen
to us after he
gives up his wings? How about Jophiel? So, what if he'll know who's trying to rip
his wings?

Inabot niya ang mukha ko at pinahid ang mga luha ko gamit ang likod ng mga palad
niya. "Sleep for now,
Violet. I'll be back soon."

"Soon?"

Tumango siya. "I'll do the begging and it will not be that easy."

Kailan kaya ang soon na sinasabi niya? Sa halip na itanong iyon ay isiniksik ko na
lang ang sarili ko sa
kanya.

"I'll be left alone," mahinang usal ko at ipinikit ang mga mata ko habang
nakasandal sa kanya.

"Don't worry, you have your guardian with you," he said before kissing the top of
my head.

Nang iminulat ko ang mga mata ko ay nasa kama pa rin ako at nakasandal ang ulo sa
unan ko. Gone was
Semper and I was totally awake. Kinapa ko ang basang pisngi ko. I cried in my
sleep.

Nalungkot ako sa isiping aalis muna si Semper. What bothers me is that there's no
assurance if he will be
back. What if he changes his mind at manatili na lamang kasama si Jophiel?

I touched my hair where he last kissed me. He said I have my guardian with me.
Totoo nga kaya? Bigla
na lamang pumasok sa isipan ko si Sir Duane.

"Are you okay Angel?"

7/8
"Yup. Sabi nila, lahat tayo ay may guardian angel. They're around us, pretending to
be someone not so
important in our life but the truth is, nand'yan sila upang magbantay. To guide you
and to guard you.
Your angel always gets your back, Angel."

"Of course. Gasgas na ang linyang iyan but aminin man natin o hindi, it is true.
Everything will be fine, if
not now or tomorrow, it will be soon. It doesn't rain forever."

Posible bang siya ang guardian ko? Come to think of it, when I was soaked in the
rain, he was there.
When something happened at Dowby's, he was there. When Semper said I was saved by
my angel, he
was there. He gave me encouraging words whenever I'm down.

I pulled my sheets and embraced my body tightly. I'm glad to know that he's there,
my guardian angel
but half of me is sad about Semper's departure. For now, I have to wait what
tomorrow will bring.

8/8
CHAPTER 30: CONSPIRACY
wattpad.com/544970453-as-you-lie-awake-chapter-30-conspiracy/page/3

Chapter 30: Conspiracy

Today marks my 100 days without Semper. Isang daang araw na ang lumipas mula nang
huli ko siyang
makita. Isang daang araw na ang lumipas mula nang dinalaw niya ako sa panaginip ko.

The 100 days without him that passed was never the worse but never better. Araw-
araw ko siyang namimiss at naaalala pero ni isang beses ay hindi man lamang siya
nagparamdam sa akin. He could just visit
me in my dreams, right? But he never did.

Unlike what Semper told me, no one forgot about him. Kalat sa buong university ang
tungkol sa pagdrop
out niya noong nagdaang semester. Minsan ay naisip ko na kaya naaalala pa rin siya
ng lahat ay dahil
babalik siya. But each day that passed just tightened the thorns that was in my
heart. Gayunpaman ay
hindi ako nawalan ng pag-asa na babalik siya.

The second semester has already started and nothing heart fluttering event ever
happened to me. Hindi
gaya noong nandito pa si Semper. His presence was enough for me to feel the
butterflies in my stomach.

"Good morning, Angel!" Masiglang bati ng kararating lang na si Sir Duane. He sat
across me at inilapag
ang dalang tray na naglalaman ng pancake at coffee.

The moment I figured out that he was my guardian ay naging mas malapit kami. My
theory about him
being my guardian was supported by a lot of incidents that happened recently. Noong
nabastos ako ng
ilang mga lalaki sa mall ay naroon siya at pinagtanggol ako. One time, I was almost
hit by a vehicle, he
was to the rescue. Marami pang mga pangyayari at laging naroon siya upang tulungan
ako. He was
always there to save the day.

Naisip ko rin ang tungkol sa nangyari sa amin ni Ashley dati. It occured to me that
he was responsible for
Ashley's sudden change. He was there along with Daven and Semper, so I was sure
that it was him.

1/8
"Good morning, Sir. Hindi ka pa nagbreakfast?" Tanong ko sa kanya. He offered me
his food which I
gladly declined.

"I'm almost late on my first period so I didn't bother to grab breakfast at home,"
sagot niya at sumulyap
sa relo. "Ikaw? Do you still have class?"

I shook my head. "Wala na po. Hinihintay ko lamang si Nikki."

Tumango-tango siya at nagpatuloy sa pagkain. Ilang sandali lamang ay pumasok na sa

cafeteria ang
ilang mga estudyante at kasali na roon sina Nikki at Daven.

Nikki called my name out loud kung kaya't napatingin din sa akin si Daven. Our eyes
met and he looked
amused that his eyes never left. I wiggled my brows as if I'm asking him what he is
staring at. He
lowered his eyes and shrugged his shoulders after he chuckled.

Things were better too between me and Daven. Mula nang nagkaroon kami ng closure ay
wala na ang
pader na dating nakaharang sa pagitan namin. For now, he was back to being friends
with me at may
mga pahaging na nais niyang manligaw ulit. He and Ira didn't work out either that's
why he called off the
things between them.

"Good morning, Sir Duane," bati ni Nikki nang makalapit siya sa mesa namin. Sir
Duane smiled at her
bago muling binaling ng atensyon sa pagkain. "Gerl, halika na."

Hinila ako ni Nikki mula sa pagkakaupo kaya nagmadali akong magpaalam kay Sir
Duane. He gave me a
sweet smile before he took a sip on his coffee.

Saka lamang ako binitawan ni Nikki nang makalabas kami ng cafeteria. Itinaas niya
ang kamay na may
hawak na dalawang ticket. I'm not sure kung para saan iyon though.

"Tadaaa!" Iprinesenta niya ang ticket sa harapan ko na para bang magician. I made a
face and she
snorted. "Stop making that face, Violet."

2/8
I didn't reply at sa halip ay mas lalo lamang sumimangot kaya muli siyang
nagsalita. "These are passes
for--"

Again, this is what I hate about her. Ang hilig niyang mambitin! Like sino ba ang
gustong mabitin?!

"For what?" I asked lazily.

"For-- tentenenen!"

I rolled my eyes at pumihit ng alis ngunit nahawakan niya ako at hinarap sa kanya
bago pa man ako
makadalawang hakbang.

"Passes for Dowby's!" She said in a hyper manner. Napabuga na lamang ako ng hangin.
Why is she
showing me passes for Dowby's? Maliban sa hindi ako party girl, hindi maganda ang
mga alaalang
naiwan ko roon. Well, the moments with Semper could be considered wonderful kahit
na hindi pa kami
masyadong magkasundo roon.

"Really? Dowby's?" I tried to sound as hyped as her in a sarcastic way.

"Aba, hija, wag kang ganyan. These..." She raised the passes. "These tickets are
precious! Pahirapan ang
pagkuha nito. Walang panama ang NFA rice sa haba ng pila at walang-wala rin ang
Train to Busan. Kasi
guess what?"

"What?" I asked, rolling my eyes.

"It's their 3rd anniversary and guess who's their guest?"

"Who?" I asked, staring at my nails to show her how uninterested I am.

She snapped her fingers. "Clue! It's an all-male group."

"Sirit na."

She frowned at me. "Hulaan mo, gerl."

3/8
"Is it EXO?" I asked without energy. Hello? Alam kong imposible but this is just
for the sake of answering
her.

"That would be great but nope."

"BTS?"

"Nope! Grabe ka ha!" She laughed like I said something hilarious. "Ang tayog ng
pangarap mo!"

I looked away to show her my boredom. "Seventeen?"

"Momshie, gising! Hindi K-pop boy group," she said, gently tapping my cheek na para
bang ginigising
ako. "It's the ORCS."

"ORCS?"

"Ano ka ba! 'Yong sikat na banda ngayon!"

"Ah." Can't she really tell that I'm uninterested? And the ORCS? Hindi ko nga sila
kilala eh.

"And these..." Muli niyang itinaas ang hawak na mga ticket. "This is for you and
for me."

"Ano?!" Tama ba ang narinig ko? Para sa akin? Like, okay I appreciate the effort
kung sakaling malaTrain to Busan man ang pagkuha niya sa nga ticket na iyon, but
does she really think I will go to a club
with her?

"Yes! It will be your birthday two weeks from now. Hindi tayo nagka-time na gumala
noong pasko at new
year. Alam kong busy ka rin sa birthday mo, so our celebration will be tonight at
Dowby's! Girl's night
out!"

Tila nag-echo sa tainga ko ang mga sinabi ni Nikki. Like what?! Sa Dowby's?!
Ngayong gabi? Kasama
ako?!

"NO WAY!"

***
4/8
When Nikki said it's a girl's night out, I thought it would be the two of us. Just
the two of us. But I
shouldn't have trusted her words.

Matapos ang pagtanggi ko kanina ay natagpuan ko na lamang ang sarili kong sumama sa
kanya. Yeah,
like I always do. Halos tatlompung minuto na ang lumipas nang iniwan niya ako rito
sa upuan ko. She
said she has to fix something. If I knew, malamang may kausap na itong mga lalaki
sa ngayon.

I didn't tell her about me and Semper. Nikki isn't the type who pushes me to things
like giving me a boy
for a company kaya malamang siya na lamang ang lumabas sa halip na rito sa harap ko
kausapin kung
sino man ang lalaki niya ngayon. Bago siya umalis ay panay ang habilin niya na
huwag akong umalis
roon at huwag tatanggap ng ano mang inumin.

Maingay ang loob ng Dowby's gaya ng ilang pagkakataon na nakapunta ako rito dati.
Every corner just
reminded me of Semper, and it only made my heart beat faster. The band that was
singing on the stage
was good, the lighting on the place was better that it makes everyone enjoy. There
were free drinks from
the house as a compliment on the bar's anniversary.

Suddenly, I felt a chill on my spine. Pakiramdam ko ay naramdaman ko na ito dati.

It was a feeling that I
get whenever I feel that someone is staring at me. Inilibot ko ang paningin sa
paligid but the area was
crowded, and the lights made me dizzy.

Baka guni-guni ko lamang, naisip ko ngunit nang bigla na lamang nay pumasok na
eksena sa isipan ko
ay mas lalo lamang nanginig ang kalamnan ko.

Naalala ko ang nangyari dati. Ang kadiliman. Ang mga itim na ulap na tumatabing sa
malaking buwan.
The dizzy feeling. It's all coming back to me as of the moment.

Napatutop ako sa bibig ko. This isn't good. Why am I remembering those things right
now? Muli kong
naalala ang ulan. Kung paano sila muling pumaitaas. The black figure of the man.
The smoke that was
coming from my mouth.

Napasinghap ako nang bigla na lamang akong nagkulang sa hangin. I pounded my chest
few times at
iginala ang paningin sa paligid, with the hope of finding Nikki but she wasn't
around.

Kahit bahagyang nahihilo dahil sa mga naaalala ko ay nagawa ko pa ring tumayo at

pumasok sa CR ng
bar. Nang mabuksan ko ang pinto ay agad akong sumandal doon nang maisara ko iyon.
Malalaki ang
hiningang bibitawan ko and I inhaled more air. Agad akong lumapit sa sink at
naghilamos upang
magising ang diwa ko.
5/8
magising ang diwa ko.

Matapos basain ang mukha ko ay pinatay ko ang gripo at halos mapasigaw ako nang
mag-angat ako ng
tingin sa salamin at makitang may tao sa likuran ko. That person was very familiar,
and he was wearing
black clothes.

Bigla na lamang nanikip ang dibdib ko sa kaba at para bang aatakihin ako sa puso
anumang oras
ngayon. He had an annoying smirk on his face that I just saw for the first time
dahil madalas ay ngiting
matamis ang nakikita ko sa kanya.

"S-sir Duane? Anong ginagawa niyo rito?"

He took a step closer at napaatras naman ako. I've never seen him as scary as this.
He had this terrifying
look in his face kahit na hindi naman kakaiba ang mukha. Maybe it was the smile--
smirk that means
something. A dangerous something.

"Violet... Violet... Violet..." He walked towards the door and locked it. Tila mas
dumoble pa ang kabang
naramdaman ko. Violet? What happened to Angel?

"Why are you so hard to kill?" Tanong niya, giving me a chilling stare.

What? Kill? But I thought he's my guardian? "S-sir Duane...?"

"What? Afraid that no one may save your ass now just like before?" tanong niya. "
Too bad, wala nang
Semper na magpo-protekta sa'yo."

"A-ano? Anong sinasabi niyo?" Hindi ko maiwasang manginig. How I wish someone could
walk inside
here and save me gayong alam kong imposible iyon. He locked the door and I know he
manipulated
things.

"I thought you're smart," wika niya. He drew a knife on his side. "Daig mo pa ang
pusa sa dami ng buhay
mo. Oh, it's that bastard's doing. Nililigtas ka niya but then you also saved him."

Mas lalo lamang akong naguluhan. I tried looking around for exits but find none.
Naglatuloy naman siya
sa pagsasalita.

"All I want is his wings! But you intervened!" Dumagundong ng boses niya sa sulok
ng CR. He laughed
like a maniac. "Ah, hindi mo pala lubos na maiintindihan kung tungkol saan ito.
It's a conspiracy against
Semper. Pinlano namin ito ni Jophiel--"

Pinutol ko ang sasabihin niya. "Jophiel? Semper's girlfriend?"

6/8
Pinutol ko ang sasabihin niya. "Jophiel? Semper's girlfriend?"

Tumawa siya ng mapakla. "Jophiel loved me first but I lusted over humans and was
thrown on the
darkside but she wants us to be back together."

Biglang nanlamig ang mga kamay ko. "Who exactly are you?"

Bigla na lamang siyang binalot ng itim na usok at nang nahawi ang mga usok ay halos
mabuwal ako.

"Moroni?" I asked, staring the scarred face and hunchback. Ilang saglit lamang ay
nag-anyong Sir Duane
ulit siya.

"It's Marconi. Semper's so dumb not to realize it sooner. Moroni's up there,

serving faithfully." Muli siyang
tumawa nang nakakatakot. "Jophiel and I conspired to take his wings by using you."

Kahit hindi ko man tuluyang naiintindihan ang lahat ay pinilit ko pa ring iproseso
ang lahat ng iyon sa
utak ko. "You will be under his guardianship soon kaya mas madali sanang gamitin
ka. But it isn't. You
made him care for you that much that he resisted every attack. Kahit si Daven--"

"Ikaw? Daven's from your bloodline?" So, he was the reason why Daven broke up for
me kmin the first
place.

He gave me a mocking smile and that answered my question yes. "There's nothing
special about you
Violet but why did Semper fall for you? If it wasn't because of you, I would have
already gainned his
wings!" Bahagya siyang lumapit sa akin at muli akong napaatras. Naramdaman ko na
ang malamig na
tiles sa likuran ko.

"But... I thought you are my guardian?" I made a wrong realization. Hindi pala
siya. He wasn't there to
help me. He was always there to harm me! Why didn't I realize it sooner?!

"Well that's what you thought."

A perilous smile flashed across his face before he took another step towards me and
raised his hand
holding the knife.

Sa takot ko ay hindi ko nagawang sumigaw at napapikit na lamang kasabay ng pag-usal

ko sa isang
maikling panalangin. I felt the knife touched my neck, it pained me a little. I saw
blood run down through
my neck down to my body but it was't that much.

Sa pangamba ko ay unti-unting nawala ang ulirat ko. I saw Sir Duane shocked by some
sight at hindi ko

7/8
Sa pangamba ko ay unti-unting nawala ang ulirat ko. I saw Sir Duane shocked by some
sight at hindi ko
na naramdaman pang lalong bumaon sa leeg ko ang kutsilyo.

Before I totally pass out, I saw a white figure, in a splendid brightness standing
in front of me and I took a
glance on her before I blacked out.

It was Nikki. My guardian angel.

*END OF VOLUME 1*

8/8
CHAPTER 31: STRANGER
wattpad.com/545586568-as-you-lie-awake-chapter-31-stranger

VOLUME 2

Chapter 31: Stranger

"Ate?"

Dahan-dahan kong iminulat ang mga mata ko at nabungaran kong nakatunghay sa akin
ang kapatid ko.
He made a face before he sat straight.

"Bangon na."

I pulled my sheets up. "Five minutes, Lav."

Hinila naman niya ang kumot ko. "You know I tolerate that attitude kasi ganyan din
naman ako, but you
really need to get up."

"Why?" I asked, with eyes still closed.

"It's your birthday!" He said without a sound of excitement. Sabagay, bakit naman
siya mae-excite? It's
my birthday, not his.

"And?"

"Family outing."

1/5
"Family outing."

Bumangon ako kahit antok na antok pa ako. Last week and the week before was tiring.
Nothing much
happened maliban na lamang sa advance blowout ni Nikki sa akin sa Dowby's.

I think I tried alcohol that time at hanggang ngayon ay hangover pa rin ako.
Pakiramdam ko lang naman
kahit sa tingin ko ay hindi naman ako uminom. Maybe the bar's party smokes? Does
hangover really last
this long?

Saka ko lamang napansin na nakabulaklaking polo pala si Lav. He wore a sando. May
suot rin siyang
oversize summer glasses na may disenyong summer umbrellas. Really? Summer outfit at
the end of
January?

"Okay, mag-aayos lang ako." I tried myself sounding totally awake but failed.

Laven Der jumped off my bed at lumabas ng silid ko. Nag-ayos naman ako ng sarili
ko. It didn't take me
that long to finish.

My parents greeted me a happy birthday and kissed me. Ilang sandali lamang ay lulan
kami ng sasakyan
as dad drives the car to our destination.

It's my nineteenth birthday. Masaya ako dahil nadagdagan ng isang taon ang buhay ko
ngunit
pakiramdam ko ay may kulang. Do you experience that feeling that you just feel
empty and it seems like
something's missing?

I pressed my cheek on the car's window and smiled to myself. Ano ba naman ang
iniisip ko? I have
everything to be thankful for! Siguro ay human nature na ang pagiging discontented
gayong okay
naman ang lahat.

My phone beeped and I checked Nikki's message.

'Hbd gerl! Labyah! *kiss emoticon*

2/5
I can't help but smile. Minsan talaga ay hindi natin kailangan ng mahahabang sweet
messages para lang
malaman na sincere ang isang tao sa sinasabi niya. Nikki, although known for being
a talkative one is
sincere in every word she says. I knew it. I felt it.

Nagreply ako ng isang emoticon at tinago ang cellphone. Saka ko lamang napansin na
nakahinto na ang
kotse. Mom and Dad were unloading our things while Lav was on the side, jumping
merrily, pointing at
the sea.

Bumaba ako sa kotse at tumulong sa pagbuhat ng mga gamit patungo sa cottage na

naunang ipareserve
ni Dad para sa amin.

The fresh breeze that brushed my face felt cool and nice. But it made me feel
emptier inside. Bakit
pakiramdam ko ay nakapunta na ako sa resort na ito?

I shook my head and brushed off that thought. Feeling ko lang siguro iyon. I have
never been to this
resort. Tsk, ano ba 'tong mga naiisip ko?

After unloading all our things ay naupo ako sa duyan na nasa cottage namin. Mom and
Dad looks sweet
as they prepared food for us. Siguro ay time na rin ito upang makapagbonding silang
mag-asawa. Lav
was somewhere on the water, playing excitedly.

Marami-rami rin ang naliligo sa beach. It was a high-end resort at may ilang mga
water activities na
pwedeng gawin. I wanted to try jet ski ngunit natatakot ako.

"Mom, Dad. maglalakad po muna ako sa paligid," paalam ko sa kanila.

"Be careful, Violet," wika ni Daddy. I smiled at him before I grabbed my shawl.

Naglakad-lakad ako sa paligid at inilibot ang paningin sa dagat. I tied my hair

into a messy ponytail to
avoid it to be tangled. Hindi pa gaanong masakit sa balat ang sikat ng araw.

3/5
Maraming gwapong lalaki sa paligid but most of them are with their girlfriend and
boyfriends. Napangiti
ako nang maalala ang sinabi ni Nikki dati. May tatlong lugar daw kung saan pwede
kang mag-gwapo
hunting. Una sa skwelahan, pangalawa sa mall at pangatlo ay sa beach. I somehow
agree with her.

Lumapit ako sa baybayin at tinanaw ang isang lalaking nagji-jet ski. He looks so
good in what he is doing
kaya hindi ko mapigilang mapangiti habang pinanuod siya sa malayo.

"You want to ride that thing?"

Napatingin ako sa lalaking nakatayo ngayon sa gilid ko at nakatanaw rin sa lalaking

nagji-jet ski. I can't
help but admire his side profile. Matangos ang ilong niya at tila wala siyang
emosyon kahit na isang gilid
lang ng mukha niya ang nakikita ko. I lifted my head a little since he's taller
than me.

When he turns to face me, I almost gasped loudly! Mabuti na lamang at napigilan ko
ang sarili ko. This
guy is totally handsome--- well, his eyes weren't lively, but it compliments his
emotionless face. Blanko
ang ekspresyon ng mukha niya samantalang direktang nakatingin sa akin ang maiitim
niyang mga mata.
He has a tiny mole below his eye and another tiny one on his nose.

His lips were naturally red and kissable— damn. Why am I thinking this way?! Kapag
ba lagpas isang
taon ka na sa legal na edad ay kung anu-ano na ang naiisip mo or it's just me.

Napaatras ako ng isang hakbang. He doesn't look angry, but he doesn't look pleased
either. Wait.
Boyfriend ba niya ang lalaking nagji-jet ski? Oh no, nakatingin lang naman ako sa
jet skiing skill ng lalaki,
not to the guy!

"I... I d-didn't m-mean to stare... I... I just..." Heck, kailangan ba talagang

mag-stutter? "Excuse me."

Pumihit ako ng alis ngunit nahawakan niya ang siko ko. I forced a smile and looked
at him, feeling
apologetic. Nakakunot ang kanyang noo habang naglalakbay sa kabuoan ng mukha ko ang
mga mata
niya. It seems like he was trying to figure out something through my face.

His dull eyes fell to my lips and I saw him wet his lower lip with his tongue in a
normal way but that just
made me wonder if what a kiss would feel like.
4/5
"Y-yes? M-may kailangan ka ba?" Tanong ko sa kanya. To be approached by a handsome
stranger would
be great but I am Violet, not Nikki or any other girl. I don't like being touched
by anyone, except for
Daven before (well, I totally moved on from him) so I don't know if I would react
differently.

I tried pulling my arm at napatingin siya sa braso ko bago ako binitawan. I rubbed
my palm on my elbow
to remove the feeling of his touch that seemed to linger on my skin.

"Yes, I have to tell you something," sagot niya. He took a few steps towards me at
sapat na iyon upang
malanghap ko ang amoy niya. It was a familiar exhilarating scent. Hindi ko alam
kung bakit tila pamilyar
iyon. Maybe Daven's scent?

Half of my brain objects. Daven smells great, a scent that you will surely love but
this guy's scent is just
on another level. Itinaas niya ang kamay niya at nagulat na lang ako nang tinanggal
niya ang tali ng
buhok ko. My hair fell into my shoulders. My eyes widened at hindi agad ako
nakapag-react.

"I just want to tell you that I like your hair down," sagot niya. His palm gripped
tightly on my hair tie that
he removed before he turned to his back and walk away leaving me dumbfounded.

5/5
CHAPTER 32: INTRODUCTION
wattpad.com/545626250-as-you-lie-awake-chapter-32-introduction

Chapter 32: Introduction

I finally let go of the heavy sigh that I was trying to suppress a while ago. The
guy was out of my sight for
quite a while now ngunit hindi ko pa rin magawang huminga ng maayos. I rubbed my
chest to control
my heartbeat. How could a total stranger give me this kind of effect?

Female hormones, I thought. Siguro ay ngayon lang ako nagkaroon ng ganitong mga
karanasan. But I am
always a calm person, not until this ramdom guy suddenly made me discomposed.

Pinaypayan ko ang sarili ko gamit ang mga kamay ko. Tinanggal ko rin ang suot kong
scarf at nang
papaano ay mawala ang init na naramdaman ko. Upang malimutan ang lahat ng iyon ay
pinili kong
maglibot-libot sa paligid. I was hoping that I will not bump with the guy. Gusto ko
sanang manatili na
lamang sa hotel na tinutuluyan namin but that would be a big no-no since it's my
birthday and this twoday outing is supposedly for bonding time.

Bumalik na lamang ako sa cottage at naroon na si Lav na may tangay na salbabida

habang inaamoy ang
mga pagkaing nakahanda.

"Andito na si Ate! Kakain na tayo!" Lav shouted and prepared the table.

Napangiti na lamang ako habang tinutulungan siya. Sa katunayan ay pwede namang

umorder na lang
kami ng mga pagkain na mula sa resort na iyon but Mom insisted to cook for us.
Mabuti na rin iyon dahil
masarap namang magluto si Mommy. Habang kumakain ay tungkol sa kung saan-saan ang
pinaguusapan namin.

"Nak, kailan ka magbo-boyfriend?" Biglang tanong ni Daddy.

Halos mabilaukan ako sa tanong na iyon. It was so out of the blue! "Dy!"

1/6
Halos mabilaukan ako sa tanong na iyon. It was so out of the blue! "Dy!"

"What?" He said after he laughed. "You're supposed to tell me if you're in a

relationship or what. I'm your
father, remember?"

"Wala akong boyfriend, Dy!" I'm sure I'm red as a tomato right now.

Maging si Mommy ay napatawa. "Why, sweetie? Is it still Daven?"

It's not a secret to Mommy na matagal rin akong hindi makapag move on kay Daven. We
never really
had a serious talk about it but my Mom knows me more than I know myself.

"No, it's just that... wala lang talaga akong boyfriend dahil wala namang
nanliligaw sa akin," I said,
playing my utensils to avoid embarrassment.

"Bakit walang nanliligaw sa anak ko?" Dad asked. "Honey, bulag na ba ang mga
kalalakihan ngayon?"
Tanong niya kay Mommy.

"Oo nga, Ate," singit ni Lav. "Magdala ka ng lalaki sa bahay at nang makilatis ko!
Tingnan natin kung cool
ba siya!"

We both laughed on Laven Der's remarks. Noong ipinakilala ko sa bahay si Daven ay

hindi sila vibes ng
kapatid ko. Kaswal lang ang trato niya kay Daven. When I asked him why he seemed so
formal with
Daven around, sinagot lang niya ako na magkaibang-magkaiba sila ni Daven. He said
he wanted
someone who understands him and someone he can call 'cool.'

Pfft! Minsan talaga ay matured mag-isip ang kapatid ko at minsan naman ay

napakaisip bata.

"Oo nga, Anak. Baka naman tinatakot mo kaya hindi nanliligaw o baka naman tumaas
'yang standard mo
sa kapapanuod mo ng Korean Drama," Dad said.

2/6
I laughed. Alam na alam talaga ng pamilya ko ang mga pinagkakaabalahan ko sa buhay.
"Hindi naman
Dad. Wait, why are we talking about boyfriends here?"

"Gusto mo bang girlfriends ko ang pag-usapan natin, Ate?" Lav asked that made us
all laugh. I reached
for my brother's cheeks and pinched it few times hanggang siya na mismo ang tumabig
sa kamay ko.

So far, it was an enjoyable day hindi lamang sa akin at kay Lav na halos pulang-
pula na ang mga mata at
balat sa kaliligo but also to my parents who finally got some time for them.

Hapon na nang iniwan ko sila sa cottage at hinanap si Lav sa tubig. I found him on
the shore making sand
castles. Agad akong lumapit sa kanya at tinawag ang pangalan niya.

"Lav!"

Sabay silang nag-angat ng tingin ng lalaking katulong niya sa pagmasa ng buhangin.

I almost tripped
when I saw the guy. It was the same guy from this morning!

"Ate! Come here, help us!" Lav said at tumayo upang kunin ang kamay ko at hinila
palapit sa ginagawa
nilang sand castle.

My eyes didn't leave the guy and he do the same. Blanko ang ngiting binibigay niya
sa akin. I cannot
even tell if he remembers me kahit kaninang umaga lamang iyon. His gazes were pure
blank stares that
made me uneasy.

"H-hi." Bati ko sa kanya.

He nodded his head and looked at Lav. Agad naman kaming pinakilala ng huli sa
isa't-isa.

"Kuya Semper, siya 'yong kinukwento kong Ate ko sa'yo." Lav looked at me. "Ate, si
Kuya Semper.
Tinulungan niya akong gawin 'to." He showed me the halfway done sand castle.

I forced a smile at biglang napalis ang ngiti ko nang may sumagi sa isipan ko. Just
this morning, this guy
looked serious and a little bit pissed when I stared at the guy who was jet skiing.
I thought maybe the
guy was his lover. Ngayon naman ay tinulungan niya ang kapatid ko. Oh no, what if
he's a pedophile?!
3/6
Kinabahan ako sa naisip ko kaya't bigla kong nahila si Lav palapit sa akin.

"Ate!" Gulat na tanong nito.

"I'm sorry," I said, letting go of my brother. I'm just overthinking. God, what
happened to me?

Tumayo si Semper at inilahad ang mabuhanging palad sa harapan ko. "Semper. My name
is Semper
Galvez."

I stared at his hand and debated with myself whether to accept it or not. Napansin
iyon ng lalaki kung
kaya't pinagpag niya muna ang buhangin sa kamay niya bago iyon muling iniabot sa
akin.

"Semper," he said again.

Sa pagkakataong ito ay tinanggap ko na ang palad niya. I don't want to be rude so I

accepted his hand
not minding the electricity that almost electrocuted me. It was so intense that I
thought I was really
touching live electricity. So intense that it made me pulled my hands as fast as
light.

"V-violet." I clenched my fist. Napahawak ako sa buhok ko, sa waistline ng shorts

ko at kung saan-sang
bahagi ng katawan ko para lamang alisin ang kakaibang sensasyon na dulot ng
pagkakalapat ng balat
namin. He bit his lower lip and lowered his hand calmly. Tila wala lamang iyon sa
kanya samantalang
hindi ko alam kung ano ang gagawin ko. It's because of our direct contact. That
freaking skin contact!

A pirate smile escaped his lips. "Violet. And your brother is Laven Der. Nice."

Normally I don't really explain but now I did. "It doesn't really have a meaning.
Our names don't mean
anything at hindi rin paborito ng mga magulang namin ang ganoong kulay so they
named us such.
Siguro trip lang nila."

He gently nodded his head, his eyes not leaving my face kahit ilang sandali. "My
name means Always."

"R-really?"

He nodded. His gaze fell from my face to my chest. Suddenly I felt conscious with
my swimsuit. Hindi
naman iyon bastusin. Plus, I wore my white shorts on top. Dinaanan ng mga mata niya
ang kabuoan ko
and it was fixated on my chest. Specifically, on the right side of my chest. Mukha
siyang tila may
hinahanap roon kaya bumaba rin ang mata ko sa dibdib ko.

4/6
What the fudge? Is he some kind of pervert?

His brows met for a while before he clenched his jaw and smirk. I know that the
smirk wasn't for me. It
was for something that I didn't know.

Bago pa man ako tuluyang ma-conscious sa mga tinging iginagawad niya sa akin ay
dinala ko sa
harapan ang nakalugay kong buhok at nang matakpan ang dibdib ko. An amusing smile
replaced his
smirk before he looked at me.

"Ate, tulungan mo kaming gawin 'tong castle!" Lav said. God, I almost forgot that
my brother is here.
Bakit ba ganito na lamang ang epekto sa akin ni Semper?

"S-sige."

I knelt down and pretended to be busy, but I am completely aware of his Semper's
eyes that were
following my every move. Kahit medyo nawawala ako sa tamang huwisyo ay kinontrol ko
pa rin ang sarili
ko. I might end up destroying Lav's castle.

"Kuya Semper, may girlfriend ka ba?" Tanong ni Lav. I almost scolded my brother!
Bakit ba ganoon na
lamang ang tanong niya?!

"Wala." He looked at me when he said his reply. Ibinaba ko naman ang tingin ko.
Gosh, he almost caught
me staring at him!

"Talaga? Wala ring boyfriend ang Ate ko!" Lav replied hyperly! What? Kailan pa
naging si Kupido ang
kapatid ko?!

"Lav!" Saway ko sa kanya ngunit sinagot niya lang ako ng ngisi.

"Really?" Semper asked.

"Oo! Sa tingin mo maganda ba ang Ate ko?" Lav asked again. He isn't this talkative.
Maybe he's just
being so dahil birthday ko. Minsan na nga lang siyang naging madaldal, hindi ko pa
gusto ang mga
pinagsasabi niya.

"Lav, isa!" Oh, come on. Who am I kidding? My brother doesn't fear numbers. I could
spend the whole
day counting and it doesn't have any effect on him.

Apologetic na napatingin ako kay Semper. He met my gaze with an icy one and
answered Lav. "Yes,
she's beautiful."

5/6
she's beautiful."

Kulang na lamang mag-dive ako sa kastilyong buhangin sa labis na emosyong

nararamdaman ko. I was
happy, enthralled, confused and embarrassed at the same time. He called me
beautiful, but he gave me
an icy stare. Malamig pa sa malamig!

Or was it just out of courtesy? Alangan namang harap-harapan niyang sagutin ang
kapatid ko na hindi
ako maganda. I felt the urge to scowl at him ngunit pinigilan ko ang sarili ko. I
mentally slapped my
cheeks to compose myself. Damn.

Tumayo ako at pinagpagan ang tuhod ko. Damn, I cannot stay normal in front of this
guy!

"Lav, maliligo na ako. Samahan mo ako." It was a statement, a declaration not a

request. Tatanggi na
sana ang kapatid ko ngunit hinawakan ko ng mahigpit ang shorts niya at hinila siya.
"Mauna na kami
sa'yo Semper! Bye!"

I didn't hear his reply o sadyang hindi lang talaga siya sumagot ngunit ramdam ko
ang nakakapasong
tingin niya sa likuran ko. Damn, I really need to jump into the water right now to
extinguish the heat that
I am feeling.

6/6
CHAPTER 33: KISS ME
wattpad.com/546033334-as-you-lie-awake-chapter-33-kiss-me/page/2

Chapter 33: Kiss Me

Nakahiga ako at nakatingin sa ceiling ng hotel. Lav was sleeping on my side,

bahagya pa nga itong
humihilik. Pagod na pagod ito sa maghapong paglalaro at kaliligo sa tubig.

The clock on my phone says it's past 11 p.m. Malamang active pa rin ang resort lalo
na at ganitong oras
na. My family are not really party people kaya kapag ganitong mga oras ay
nagpapahinga na kami. Mom
and Dad shared a room samantalang magkasama naman kami ni Lav.

I tried closing my eyes and concentrated myself on sleeping but I can hear Lav's
snore. I sighed. Alangan
namang takpan ko ang mukha ng kapatid ko! Another factor that caused me to stay
awake is Semper.
Hindi ko alam kung bakit naiisip ko na lang siya nang bigla-bigla.

Sinubukan kong pumikit ulit ngunit hindi talaga ako makatulog! Bumangon ako at
nagbihis. I slipped into
my shorts and thin blouse and silently walked out the room. Dahan-dahan pa rin ang
mga galaw ko kahit
alam kung hindi magigising si Lav kahit pa magwala at magdabog ako rito. He's a
heavy sleeper and the
fact that he's tired for all day's play supports my claim.

Bumaba ako ng hotel at naglakad sa dalampasigan. Nagkakasiyahan ang mga tao sa

munting party na
nasa baybayin. I want to go somewhere placid kaya nagpunta ako sa bahaging hindi
masyadong matao.
I can still hear the music, but it wasn't as loud as before.

Naupo ako sa buhangin at tinanaw ang dagat. The moon shone brightly and reflected
on the sea along
with the blanket of stars. It created a soothing silver ocean that made me close my
eyes and listened to
the sounds of the waves.

Naramdaman kong may umupo sa tabi ko kaya napamulat ako sa mata ko. It was Semper.
He was
wearing a one colored-striped sando and board shorts. I don't know where he got the
guts to sat beside
me gayong kakakilala lamang namin kanina plus hindi kami close.
1/6
Iniiwas ko ang tingin sa kanya at ibinalik ang tingin sa dagat. I can feel his eyes
on me. Just on me. From
my peripheral view, I saw him never leave his gaze on me even for a second. I
waited for a minute ngunit
ganoon pa rin ang ginagawa niya. He seemed like a still picture whose gaze was
fixed on me.

I surrendered. "Stop that."

"Stop what?" he asked, without any hint of emotion.

"Stop looking at me. You're making me uncomfortable," hindi ko mapigilang wika. I

felt my foot dug on
the sand. See? Kung anu-ano na ang ginagawa ko dahil sa tingin niyang iyon.

"Why? I'm looking at the most beautiful view."

I frowned. It would have flattered me kung hindi pa lamang ako na-orient ni Nikki
tungkol sa galawang
fuckboys. They're good in spitting flattery words, will make your knees wobble but
do not let yourself fall
on their trap.

I let out a dry chuckle. "Don't try to flatter me. You're good at it."

"At what?"

"That," sagot ko.

"That flattering you or that making you uncomfortable?" He asked. His eyes burned
like fire for a while. It
was the first time that I've seen his eyes burned with something. It only lasted
for a while.

Both! I want to say both. Actually, there are a lot of things that he's capable of.
Fluttering in my heart,
making me uncomfortable, making my knees wobble, making me stutter and the list
goes on.

2/6
Suddenly, irate crashed me. How could he bluntly ask questions like that?!

"You're getting into my skin!" I blurted in annoyance. Naiinis ako sa sarili ko!
Bakit hinahayaan ko siyang
magkaroon ng ganoong epekto sa akin?

His lips twitched as he rested his arms on the sand to support himself. He leaned
backward, his eyes not
leaving mine which I find quite dangerous. Too dangerous for me. Hindi ko alam kung
ganoon din ba ang
epekto sa kanya. All I know is that I got myself into trouble.

"I can't enjoy the view. Masakit na alaala ang dulot sa akin ng paligid," sagot
niya sa akin. I shouldn't be
engaging in a conversation with him but I found myself asking.

"You're here to mend a broken heart?" I asked. Iwinaksi ko muna sa isipan ko ang
ideyang hindi
maganda para sa kalusugan ko. The night is too wonderful to be spent alone kaya
siguro pwede ko nang
pagtiisan ang kanyang presensya.

"Not really. How can I mend my heart when I still see her around?" He said sounding
sincere and hurt. It
must have been too painful for him. Believe me, I've been to such. I have to bear
with Daven's presence
before and everytime I see him, pakiramdam ko ay hinihiwa ang puso ko.

Tila unti-unting nawawala ang depensa ni Semper sa sarili. It seems like he is

slowly ripping the blank
face mask he's wearing. Pakiramdam ko ay nasasaktan siya sa bawat salitang
binitawan at ramdam ko
ang bawat sakit na nararamdaman niya. Maybe he is this good when it comes to
sharing someone that
will surely move you.

"Oh," sambit ko. I don't know what else to say. "Talk to her."

He clenched his jaw and bit his lips. "I did, but she doesn't remember me."

Bahagya akong nakonsensya. This morning, I thought the worst things about him.
Tinawag ko siyang
bakla, pedo at fuckboy sa isipan ko. Hinusgahan ko siya gayong isa lang pala siyang
malungkot na
nilalang. A lost puppy in a huge world.

Tumingin siya nang diretso sa akin. "I never thought oblivion could be this
painful." Muling nawala ang
emosyong nasa kanya. He is really good at hiding it. But despite the blank face
that he projected, I can

3/6
emosyong nasa kanya. He is really good at hiding it. But despite the blank face
that he projected, I can
feel the pain and all. "I thought pain was what I felt when my flesh burned and
wings were torn but it
doesn't half to how it felt."

Napaawang ang labi ko. Flesh? Wings? Is he a poet, using methapor? Hindi ko alam
ang sasabihin ko
kaya nanatili akong nakatingin sa kanya. Ramdam ko ang malamig na hangin sa katawan
ko. I sighed
and pulled my knees up under my chin. I hugged my knees and looked at him then to
the water. Hindi ko
alam kung tatapikin ko ba ang balikat niya or what. I have no idea how to comfort
people.

Biglang sumagi sa isipan ko ang isang eksena. It was when someone patted my head
like a puppy. Hindi
ko alam kung anong pumasok sa isipan ko at bigla na lamang akong humarap sa kanya.
I pat his head
and I felt him stiffened. So as my body.

"Oh, sorry," wika ko. Hindi ko alam kung bakit ko ginawa iyon. I mean, he's not a
puppy or what but I felt
like I just have to. Hindi ko rin alam kung bakit bigla na lamang iyong pumasok sa
isipan ko.

Tumawa siya nang mahina. It was a laughter that didn't reach his eyes. Tiningnan
niya ako at agad
akong naasiwa.

"What are you thinking?" He asked.

I shrugged. "I wish I could do something to make you feel better." So, this is me
being guilty after judging
him.

A smirked escaped his lips. Umayos siya ng upo at humarap sa akin. "Yes, there's
something you can
do."

"What?" tanong ko. I can hear my heartbeat and the splashing sound of the water.

"Kiss me." He said it once, but it echoed few times in my ears. What the hell?!
Bigla akong nakakita ng
ibang kislap sa kanyang mata. It seems like it's a spark of longing and oh-- don't
know what else dahil
muling naging blanko ang tingin niya.

Hindi agad nagproseso ang utak ko. It even malfunctioned more when he leaned
closer, cupped the side
of my head and crashed his lips into mine!

Nandilat ang mga mata ko! He's kissing me! This is a kiss! It's really a kiss! His
lips were wet and gentle.
With eyes gently closed, he seemed like he was enjoying it! And damn! Seeing him up
this close made
me wanted to close my eyes and savour the moment!

But what the hell?!

4/6
But what the hell?!

Bigla ko siyang tinulak at dumapo ang isang malutong na sampal sa mukha niya. His
face turned to one
side and he clenched his jaw, like he's amused to what I did. Agad akong tumayo at
gayundin ang
ginawa niya.

"What do you think you're doing?!" I know I'm red like a freaking tomato right now
because of anger and
--- damn I cannot say it.

Wala man lamang akong nakikitang pagsisisi sa mukha niya. He doesn't look sorry
either.

"I told you to kiss me, but I kissed you. Well, it's just the same thing--- oh, I
mean totally different, but it
would still feel the same," he said, flashing a playful smirk. Pucha! How could he
smirk like that, gave an
illogical explanation and then cause my heart to shake?

Nabalot ako sa galit at labis na hiya. "That was my first! You stole my first
kiss!" God, hindi pa ako
nahahalikan ng kung sino sa labi! Not even Daven!

The familiar annoying smirk emerged again. "Yes, I stole your first kiss, but it
wasn't your first, baby." His
smile was captivating. 'Yon bang tila hinihila ka sa kumonoy and it's hard for you
to escape. You'll be
doomed.

"What?!" Nagtaas-baba ng dibdib ko sa labis na emosyon. I even gasped for more air
to supply the ones I
just lost after what happened.

"I said, yes I stole your first kiss---" Pinutol ko ang sasabihin niya.

"What did you just call me?!"

"Baby." His voice was husky and sensual na sanhi kung bakit muntik na akong mabuwal
kung hindi ko
lamang napigilan ang sarili ko.

"You're crazy!" So, I wasn't misjudging him! Fuckboy nga siya! God, bakit ba hindi
ko agad napagtanto
iyon?!

"I thought that you might not remember how it all happened, but I hope you will
remember how it felt,"
wika niya. He took another step closer to me. One second later, he was pulling me
by my waist and
again he took another peck on my lips! It was just a peck until I felt him smiled
against my lips before his
tongue made an entrance and explored my mouth!

I felt millions of bolts in my body. Some part of me somehow like it. This is pure
attraction! Hindi ko alam 5/6
I felt millions of bolts in my body. Some part of me somehow like it. This is pure
attraction! Hindi ko alam
kung paano iyon maipapaliwanag ng physics but damn!

I tried pushing him off but he was so strong! I pounded his arms but to no avail!
Kinapa ko and likod niya
at kinalmot--- and I felt something bumpy on his back. Pakiramdam ko ay may peklat
siya sa likod. A
long, ugly scar!

Wala pa ring epekto sa kanya ang ginawa ko kaya kinagat ko ang labi niya. He
groaned in pain at
binitawan ako. Napahawak siya sa pang-ibabang labi niya. He licked it and touched
the blood.

"You dared to bite me?" He asked at bigla akong natakot.

"You dared to kiss me so you deserve it!" Humakbang ako palapit sa kanya at muling
pinakawalan ang
malutong na sampal sa pisngi niya. "That's for stealing my second kiss! Jerk!"

He smiled naughtily. "I don't mind getting slapped as long I'm able to taste your
lips, baby."

Nanginig ang mga tuhod ko. Damn him. Sinalubong ko ang mga titig niya. "Go to
hell!"

Mas lalong nangitim ang mga mata niya na tila ba hindi niya nagustuhan ang sinabi
ko. Bago pa man
siya may gawing hindi maganda ay agad akong tumalikod at tumatakbong umalis doon.

6/6
CHAPTER 34: DéJà VU
wattpad.com/546053346-as-you-lie-awake-chapter-34-déjà-vu/page/3

Chapter 34: DéJà Vu

"Nak, kulang ka ba sa tulog?"

Muntikan nang malaglag ang ulo ko mula sa pagkakasuporta ng kamay ko. My eyes were
about to fall
habang hinihintay kong tuluyang maayos ni Dad ang lahat ng gamit sa sasakyan para
sa pag-uwi namin.

"Oo nga, Violet," nag-aalalang wika ni Mommy. "Did Lav snore that loud?"

Pinilit kong ngumiti. "Napagod lang siguro ako, My." There's no way I'll be telling
them that I stayed
awake the whole night! Paano ba naman kasi, a total stranger kissed me-- twice! I
don't know why it
bothered me that much! Siguro dahil iyon ang unang halik ko.

Plus, I don't want to add the attraction. Let's be honest here, hindi maikakailang
napakagwapo niya
minus his cocky attitude. I know I am attracted to him, at least physically. Hindi
ko lang talaga
matanggap na ninakawan ako ng halik ng isang estranghero.

Hindi na nila ako kinulit pa nang makapasok na kami sa kotse. It was only a two-
hour drive, but I
managed to sleep for the past two hours dahil na rin sa labis na antok na
naramdaman ko.

Naging maayos na ang tulog ko kinagabihan. I have to sleep well or else baka
makatulog ako sa klase.
Maaga akong pumasok ngayong araw. Alas dyes pa ang unang klase ko ngunit alas nuebe
pa lamang ay
nasa campus na ako. I choose to stay at the library, especifically on the far end
side at doon nagbasa.

Nakaramdam ako na tila may nagmamasid sa akin at nang mag-angat ako ng tingin ay
naroon si Daven.

1/7
I tried to suppress my smile. Daven looks so cute, oh, no not cute but hot. His new
haircut suits him well
that made him look like a hot, good boy. Oh, I don't even know if I made a right
combination of adjectives
for him.

I wriggled my brows and he smiled before he reached for a seat across me. Kinuha
niya ang librong
inilapag ko.

"Chicken soup for the soul," he read the title. "Having troubles lately?"

Umiling ako. "Wala naman." Pinagmasdan niya ako. He looked at me like I am

something precious.
Damn, kung patuloy niya akong titingnan nang ganyan ay baka muli akong mahulog sa
kanya. And if
he'll hurt me again, it would be a long process of recovering.

"What?" I mouthed. Bakit ba hindi nila alam na 'it's rude to stare?'

He smiled and shook his head. "I'm just happy how things turned out." Iniabot niya
ang kamay kong
nakapatong sa mesa at hinawakan iyon nang mahigpit. "This time, no one to
manipulate me or stop me
from loving you."

Hindi ko alam kung bakit tila natuwa ako sa sinabi niya pero medyo naguluhan din
ako. No one to
manipulate or stop him? Anong ibig niyang sabihin?

He let out a heavy sigh. "Violet, give me another chance to prove myself to you.
This time, I'll do it right."

Pakiramdam ko ay may mga fireworks na sumabog sa paligid. I was happy. His words
made me happy. I
am really happy but not to the extent that I'm willing to risk my heart again.
Sinaktan ako ni Daven. He
chose Ira instead of me, for what reason, well I do not know. Ayaw ko nang maulit
pa ang lahat ng sakit
na naramdaman ko. It was so painful, and I have to undergo a series of moving on
all by myself.

Binawi ko ang kamay kong hawak niya. "Mahirap sumugal Daven. I'm afraid you'll drop
me again without
any reason."

2/7
Biglang napaawang ang labi niya at kumunot ang kanyang noo. Tila may inaarok siya
habang nakatingin
sa akin. "You don't remember?"

"Remember what?" I asked, feeling confused.

Sa halip na sagutin ako ay dahan-dahan siyang napatango sa sarili niya. "You don't
remember Sir
Duane?"

I made a face. "I don't what? Bakit ko naman hindi maaalala si Sir Duane? He
disappeared without telling
us any reasons. Naniniwala na tuloy ako sa mga sabi-sabing nakipagtanan siya sa
isang estudyante."

Sir Duane and I were good friends. Hindi ko alam kung bakit umalis na lang siya ng
University nang wala
man lamang pasabi although he sent his resignation letter to the HR.

Kakaiba pa rin ang tinging ibinibigay ni Daven sa akin. "How about a guy? May
naaalala ka bang lalaki?"

I scowled at him. "Maraming lalaki sa mundo Daven."

He snapped to himself. "So that explains the missing files and memories of everyone
about him," he
whispered to himself. He was talking to himself pero naririnig ko pa rin ang
binubulong niya sa sarili niya.

"Anong sabi mo?"

"Nothing," he said. He let out a boyish smile. "Kung ganoon ay liligawan na lamang
kita."

"What?" Gulat na wika ko. Isn't he supposed to ask for my permission first?

"This is my life and my choice. Problema ko na kung liligawan ba kita o hindi. You
have no say about it.
Ang iisipin mo na lang ay kung sasagutin mo ba ako o hindi," he explained like a
debater laying
arguments and defending their house.

I looked at him and tried suppressing my laughter but failing bigtime. Sabay kaming
natawa nang
malakas ngunit agad rin naman naming pinigilan nang mapagtantong nasa library kami.
3/7
"You're crazy!" I told him.

Nakangiti pa rin siya. "I am. Oh, how about we'll grab some snacks?" He snapped his
fingers like it was
the most amazing idea ever.

"I don't see why not." Niligpit ko ang gamit ko at agad na tumayo.

Daven brought me to the cafeteria. Hindi na kami lumabas pa dahil may kanya-kanyang
pasok kami. To
avoid getting late, we grabbed some snacks at the cafeteria instead.

"Sigurado ka bang mauubos natin 'to?" tanong ko sa kanya habang nilalapag niya ang
kanyang pinamili.
Milk tea, chocolate mousse, cheesecake at kung anu-ano pang matatamis.

"We have to," sagot niya. Iniabot niya ang milktea ko at siya na mismo ang nagpunch
ng straw doon.

Daven is a total gentleman, no doubt about it. Kulang na lamang ay siya na ang
sumubo para sa akin.
Kung pwede nga lang na siya na lang din ang ngumuya baka ginawa na niya. Kung saan-
saan
humantong ang pag-uusap namin. Whenever I talk to Daven, pakiramdam ko ay kami
lamang ang nasa
paligid. Yeah, he still has that effect on me pero kailangan ko pa ring mag-ingat.
We didn't mind the
stares of everyone who saw us.

Kung ipagpapatuloy ito ni Daven, I might end up falling to him again and again.
Ganyan naman tayong
mga tao, 'di ba? No matter how someone hurts us, we still find ourselves loving
them again. Sometimes
the person who broke our heart is also the same person who can mend it.

Napatingin ako sa suot kong relo. "Ten minutes before my class. We need to fix."

Tumayo ako sa mesa matapos magpunas ng bibig. Napansin kong nakangiting tumingin si
Daven sa akin
na para bang may nakakatawa sa mukha ko.

"What?" I asked wriggling my brows.

This time ay natawa na siya. He stood up and walked towards me. He held my nape and
suddenly this
scene becomes familiar pero hindi ko alam kung bakit.

I prevented the urge to close my eyes and anticipated a kiss--- only to find a
table napkin pressed on my
lips.

"You had chocolate in your lips," he said, looking amused before he smiled. I know
Daven's smile is

4/7
"You had chocolate in your lips," he said, looking amused before he smiled. I know
Daven's smile is
enough to make a girl's knees wobble, but it wasn't the reason why my knees shake!

Napakapit ako sa upuan at napahawak sa dibdib. Déjà vu! Pakiramdam ko ay nangyari

na ang eksenang
iyon but I am 100% sure not with Daven.

"Violet? Okay ka lang ba?" Nag-aalalang tanong niya. "You look pale."

"I-I'm fine. Mauna ka na sa klase mo, I think I need to go the comfort room first,"
wika ko sa kanya.

"I'll wait for you at nang mahatid kita sa klase mo."

Umiling ako. "No, I mean 'wag na. Thanks for the snacks."

Hindi ko na hinintay pa ang sagot niya at agad na tumakbo patungo sa CR. I don't
care if he got the
wrong idea kung bakit ako nagmamadaling akong pumasok ng banyo. I really need to
upang
makapagwisik ako ng tubig sa mukha ko.

Nang makapasok ako sa banyo ay agad akong tumakbo patungo sa sink. I opened the
faucet and
washed my face to totally awake myself. God, how could a single déjà vu made me
feel like this? I heard
the door opened ngunit hindi ko iyon pinansin.

When I raised my face to the mirror, I almost shrieked when I found a guy's
reflection in the mirror! What
the hell!

What made me almost had a heart attack is that the guy was Semper! Yup, the same
guy who dared to
kiss me twice at the resort! Sinubukan kong kusotin ang mga mata ko to check if I'm
hallucinating or not
ngunit kulang na lamang ay tusukin ko ang sarili kong mga mata. He's here! He's
really here!

"Ano'ng ginagawa mo rito? Sinusundan mo ba ako?" Feeler na kung feeler but I really
think that he's
following me!

"I'd like to say yes but no. I'm working here," wika niya. Kumunot ang noo ko
habang tinitingnan siya
mula ulo hanggang paa. He's wearing a plain black shirt and black jeans. If he'd
say he's a student here,
mas maniniwala pa siguro ako.

5/7
"You're following me! This is a female's CR!" I shrieked. Kinabahan ako dahil kami
lamang dalawa ang
nandito. I could end up dead anytime he decides to smash my head to the tiled wall!
Uh, bakit ganoon
na lamang ang iniisip ko? Well, who knows he's some sort of a psychopath?

"Yes, baby. You have no idea how hard for me to enter here. I cannot manipulate my
entrance anymore,"
wika niya. Napakunot na lamang ang noo ko sa sinabi niya. Hindi ko siya lubusang
maintindihan.

"Ano?!"

Biglang nangitim ang nga mata niya. "You're with Daven." It was a statement, not a
question.

"Kilala mo si Daven?"

Sa halip na sumagot ay lumapit siya sa akin. Napaatras naman ako. He took another
step forward, but I
cannot take another step backward. I felt the sink on my back. My hands
automatically held the tiled sink
in fear of his towering presence on me.

Nang isang dangkal na lamang ang layo niya sa akin ay ibinaba niya ang mukha. His
face leveled mine
and I saw pain in his eyes.

"Baby, you have no idea how jealous I am."

My heart melted. The words baby and jealous coming from him had this different
effect on me. Parang
ang sarap tumambling at magsplit but that would be a crazy thing to do beside the
fact that I am not
really flexible.

Napaawang ang labi ko ngunit walang salitang lumalabas sa bibig ko! Remind me to
bite my lips later for
failing to function at crucial times like this! Napakalapit niya sa akin. I can
feel his heat on me but I didn't
do anything to push him away. Truth is that I like him this close.

"I wish I can still talk to you in your head; read your thoughts or your face just
like before. I wish I can
see you in your dreams. I gave up such capacities just to be human for you. But
baby, it never crossed
my mind that things would turn out this way."

Ipinikit niya ang kanyang mga mata at inilapat ang noo sa noo ko. I can smell his
mint-scented breath. "I
am tempted to kiss you right now, but I won't. I know you like my kisses but you
need to be punished for
making me jealous, so I won't kiss you right now."

Nanlaki ang mga mata ko. What the fudge!? How could he say it all in my face?! How
dare him say I like
his kisses?! Damn. Naramdaman ko ang pamumula ko. Okay, I'll admit it. I'm
attracted to him but
seriously? Does he really need to say it?! Hindi ko rin maintindihan ang
pinagsasabi niya. Weird. Did he

6/7
seriously? Does he really need to say it?! Hindi ko rin maintindihan ang
pinagsasabi niya. Weird. Did he
mistake me for someone he knew?

"You're crazy!" Tinulak ko siya ngunit hindi man lamang siya natinag. Nanatili
siyang nakatingin sa akin. I
cannot dare to meet his eyes kaya nagawi ang mata ko sa buhok niya. His hair falls
down to his
forehead. I suddenly had the urge to touch his hair and take a view of his
forehead. Saka ko lamang
napansin ang ilang hibla ng puting buhok sa ulo niya. It looked like a bit blond.

"Your hair..."

Hindi ko na natuloy ang sasabihin ko dahil nakarinig ako ng tunog ng doorknob! Bago
pa man may
makapasok ay agad kong hinila si Semper sa loob ng isang cubicle at ini-lock ang
pinto!

It was a bad, sudden decision that I made, and I only realized it when I figured
out how crammed the area
was and here we are.

Gosh! How did I put myself into this situation?

7/7
CHAPTER 35: CRAYON
wattpad.com/546900673-as-you-lie-awake-chapter-35-crayon/page/3

Chapter 35: Crayon

"Anong gagawin ko ngayon?!" My voice was low but full of anger. Why am I even in
this mess with him?

Nanatiling nakatayo si Semper at nakahalukipkip. We can hear the voices of the

girls probably in front of
the mirror, talking about some handsome new computer lab staff. Meh, ganoon naman
talaga ang
madalas na pinag-uusapan ng mga babae.

He shrugged his shoulders and a sexy smile escaped his lips. Napadako rin ang
tingin niya sa maliit na
bintana. I guess he was trying to picture out some silly thoughts.

"You can squeeze your pretty little butt up there just like what you did before."

Tinaasan ko siya ng kilay. "Are you crazy?!" Bakit ko naman gagawin iyon?!

"That's what I thought too when you first did it," tila amused niyang wika. Hindi
ko pa rin maintindihan
ang mga pinagsasabi niya. Wait, adik ba siya?! Bakit tila sinasabi niyang nangyari
na ang ganito dati?!

"I will never be crazy enough to squeeze myself up there!" Never!

Bigla na lamang siyang lumapit sa akin ng isang hakbang. Sinamaan ko siya ng

tingin, yung tipong
sinasabing makuha ka sa tingin but he only brushed it off with a smirk.

"Stop there or else, sisigaw ako." I crossed my fingers in front of him na tila na
isa siyang masamang
espiritu na matatakot sa ginagawa kong krus mula sa mga daliri ko.

1/9
espiritu na matatakot sa ginagawa kong krus mula sa mga daliri ko.

He bit his lower lip at tinangkang abutin ako at bago pa man ako maging apektado sa
ano mang balak
niyang gawin ay binuksan ko ang pinto at tumatakbong lumabas doon. Wala akong pake
kung makita
ako ng mga estudyante at si Semper at kung ano ang isipin nila. Hindi ako natatakot
kung ano man ang
isipin nila. I fear myself more because I am liking whatever effect Semper has on
me.

Tumakbo ako nang hindi lumilingon. Nang makalayo-layo ako ay napasulyap ako sa relo
ko. It's 20
minutes past my class at 15 minutes lamang ang allowable time of late namin kay
nagpasya akong
huwag na lamang pumasok. Damn it. Damn Semper! Hindi tuloy ako pumasok sa klase ko!

How could I allow myself to be affected by him this much? Bakit ganoon na lamang
ang epekto niya sa
akin? And he has this familiarity in me, pakiramdam ko ay hindi siya estranghero sa
akin although
sigurado akong hindi kami nagkakilala noon.

I began chanting the mantra I have in mind about calming myself. Hindi naman
pwedeng palagi na
lamang akong mawala sa tamang pag-iisip kapag nasa malapit si Semper. And I should
never let my
guards down whenever he is around! Bakit ba kasi ang bastos ng lalaking iyon?! I
never thought he will
go this far! Biruin mo, hanggang sa school sinundan pa niya ako?

Uh, I don't want to make it sound like ang haba-haba ng buhok ko, pero hello? Ano
ba dapat ang isipin ko
gayong narito sa university si Semper? I'm sure this is not a coincidence.

Bahagya akong napasigaw nang bigla na lamang akong bumangga sa isang bulto at
muntikan nang
matumba. Mabuti na lamang at nahawakan ako sa kamay ng kung sino mang nakabangga
ko. Kung
hindi niya ako nahawakan ay malamang nabuwal na ako.

Hindi ko mapigilang mapataas ang kilay. The one who bumped me was a guy wearing
dark glasses and
face mask that covers half of his face. Kung pagbabasehan ang noo at buhok niya,
siguro ay tamang
sabihin na may hitsura siya. His fashion is not bad either. I wonder how he looks
like kapag wala ang
kanyang dark glasses at mask.

Umayos ako ng tayo at binawi ang kamay kong hawak niya. And just like an answered
prayer, he
removed his dark glasses. I waited for him to remove his mask ngunit sa halip ay
inayos pa niya iyon
upang mas matakpan ang mukha niya.

2/9
"Sorry, Miss, okay ka lang ba?" Tanong niya. I almost sigh in relief. Hindi rin
naman siya tunog ngungo.

"I'm good." Hello? Masakit ang ilong kong nabangga sa matipuno niyang dibdib. But I
won't tell. Not to
someone who probably has virus kung kaya't 'di magawang magtanggal ng suot na mask.

"I'm really sorry. Hindi kita nakita," he said, sounded so apologetic.

I almost frown. Hello? Magtanggal kasi ng dark glasses minsan! Naka-shades kasi
kahit nasa madilim na
pasilyo lang.

"Okay lang," wika ko at pilit na ngumiti bago humakbang palayo sa kanya. Bahala
siya. Nababaliw na
nga ako sa kaiisip kay Semper, tapos maloloka pa ako sa kaiisip kung ano ang
hitsura niya. Napakagat
ako sa daliri ko at umiiling na nagpunta na lamang ng library.

******

Ilang beses kong tinapik ang pisngi ko. Yes, praning na kung praning pero hanggang
ngayon ay hindi ko
pa rin mawaglit sa isipan ko si Semper. Pilit kong pinipiga ang utak ko kung kilala
ko ba siya dati at
nakalimutan ko lamang but no, I cannot think of any memory. Hindi rin naman ako
nagka-amnesia—
geez, gasgas na ang plot na 'yan.

Umayos ako ng upo nang bumukas ang pinto ng cafeteria. Hindi ako nakatagal sa
library kanina dahil
mas napapaisip lamang ako kay Semper sa gitna ng katahimikan. Kahit pa siguro
ilagay ako sa
kasagsagan ng gyera ay maiisip at maiisip ko siya.

I sat straight and waited for Nikki to arrive. Nag-text ako sa kanya na hihintayin
ko siya sa cafeteria
upang sabay kaming kumain. Nilinga-linga ko ang paligid at nakita ko siya. I waved
to catch her
attention at napangiti naman siya nang makita ako.

Nang makalapit siya ay halos mapasimangot ako nang makitang kasama niya si Virus—
este yung
lalaking naka-mask. This time ay nakasukbit sa kwelyo ng damit niya ang kanyang
glasses pero takiptakip pa rin ng mask ang mukha niya.

"Violet! Kanina ka pa ba?" Tanong ni Nikki nang tuluyan siyang makalapit.

3/9
Kanina? Hmm, I'm here for almost an hour and half. Hindi ako pumasok sa klase ko,
right?

"Hindi naman," sagot ko at bahagyang sinulyapan si Virus.

"Ah, kaklase ko pala sa isang subject, si Crayon," pakilala ni Nikki kay Virus.
"Crayon, si Violet."

Inilahad naman nito ang palad sa akin. Hindi ko alam kung nakangiti ba siya or what
and his eyes don't
seem to tell it too. "Violet, hi."

He sounded amused. Wait, did he find it hilarious that my name happens to be a

color and his is a
colored wax stick? Hindi ako mataray pero parang gusto kong magtaray. Tiningnan ko
ang kamay niya
bago iniabot iyon.

"I hope hindi mo mamasamain ah," I paused and pointed on the lower part of my face.
"May deperensya
ka ba sa mukha?"

Sa gulat ko ay humalakhak siya sa halip na mainis. "You think so?"

I shrugged. "Just wondering."

"No, wala naman," sagot niya.

Nikki cleared her throat. "Hmm, pwede naman tayong maupo, 'di ba?" Nauna siyang
umupo kaya't
napaupo na rin kaming dalawa ni Virus— Crayon.

"Pasensya ka na, Violet, may tatapusin kasi kaming activity ni Crayon eh, cross-
enrollee kasi siya so
baka wala kaming time mamaya kaya ngayon na lamang namin gagawin, okay lang ba?"
Tanong ni
Nikki.

Ngumiti ako. "Sure, go ahead. Okay lang."

"We can make it here," suhestiyon ni Virus— Crayon pala. "If Violet doesn't mind,
that way hindi natin
siya maiiwan."

"Oo nga, 'no? Para pwede na rin tayong kumain," wika ni Nikki.

Tumayo si Virus— I mean Crayon at dinukot ang kanyang wallet mula sa bag. "I'll get
us food."
4/9
Bago pa man ako makatanggi ay umalis na siya at nagtungo sa counter. I was about to
protest pero
hinila ako ni Nikki paupo.

"Ano ba? Pabayaan mo na lang, blessings 'yan," wika niya. "So, what do you think of
him?"

Itinaas ko ang isang kilay ko. "What?"

"Assessment mo kay Crayon?" She asked with a silly grin.

"What are you thinking Nikki?"

"Wala."

I scowled at her. Her grin tells something. Oh, I get it. She's playing Cupid
again.

"Isn't he cute?" Maypa-puppy eyes pa siyang nalalaman.

"Cute ng mask niya," I said with a frown. May sasabihin pa sana ako nang ngumiti ng
matamis si Nikki sa
akin, no hindi pala sa akin kundi sa kung sino mang nasa likuran ko. Nang lingunin
ko iyon ay si Crayon
pala iyon.

"Sorry, I forget to ask you what you want," wika niya sabay kamot sa gilid ng
kanyang ulo.

"Sasamahan ka raw ni Violet!" Wika ni Nikki. Nanlaki ang mga mata ko. I gave her a
deadly glare, but
she returned the glare and kicked my foot under the table.

"Really? Let's go, Violet!"

"A-ah—" I sighed in surrender bago muling tiningnan ng masama si Nikki at tumayo

upang sumama kay
Crayon. Pumili kami upang makapili ng pagkain.

"Ikaw 'yong nakabangga ko kanina, right? I'm really sorry about it," wika niya sa
akin.

I forced a smile. Hindi ba niya alam ang let bygones be bygones? Wala na 'yon.
Nagkunwari na lang

5/9
I forced a smile. Hindi ba niya alam ang let bygones be bygones? Wala na 'yon.
Nagkunwari na lang
akong walang maalala.

"Oh, ikaw iyon? Hindi ko maalala." I asked, almost slapping myself for my poor
acting skills. Crayon
laughed like he finds it so funny. Leche talaga.

"What?" I mouthed.

"Nothing," sagot niya. He reached for my shoulders at dahan-dahang tinulak ako

habang nakahawak
siya sa balikat ko. Wait, close ba kami?

"Anong gusto mo?"

Gusto kong tanggalin mo 'yang mask mo. I never dared to say it. Sa halip ay
mahinang tinapik ko ang
kanyang kamay na nakahawak sa balikat ko. It only made him more amused.

"Masyado ka yatang feeling close," wika ko sa kanya. He didn't suppress his

laughter.

"I think we'll click as friends."

"You're thinking too confidently," sagot ko sa kanya. Sa gulat ko ay ginulo niya

ang buhok ko!

Bigla na lamang nabalot ng tilian ang cafeteria. Students began screaming na tila
ba kilig na kilig sila
and when I looked around, everyone's attention was on someone who was walking
towards our direction.

None other than Semper.

Nakakunot ang noo niya habang nagpalipat-lipat ang tingin sa akin at kay Crayon. He
began walking and
before he reaches on our direction, Crayon whispered in my ears.

"Is he your boyfriend? I think he's about to kill me anytime now."

"What?! No!" Nang muli akong napatingin kay Semper ay hindi maganda ang aura niya.
Suddenly, I felt
afraid. Bakit tila hindi ko gusto ang aura niyang iyon?! It's really scary.

"Are we supposed to run now?" Crayon asked, gripping on my palm. Kung sa ibang
pagkakataon ay baka
nagalit na ako sa pagiging pangahas niya pero sa ngayon ay nanaig ang pagnanais
kong tumakas sa
lugar na iyon. And moments later, I found myself dashing out the door as I grip
tightly on Crayon's hand.
6/9
Hindi ko alam kung gaano kami katagal tumakbo. All I know is that Crayon and I ran
hand in hand. Nang
makarating kami sa isang convenient shed ay napatigil kami at hinabol ang hininga
namin. I held my
chest as I catch my breath. Napahawak naman si Crayon sa kanyang tuhod habang
naghahabol ng
hangin. Then he suddenly laughs.

"Why are we running in the first place?" tanong niya matapos tumawa.

Napatingin ako sa kanya. Oo nga, bakit nga ba kami tumatakbo? Damn, Semper's aura
scared the hell
out of me?

"Is he your boyfriend?" Tanong niya sa akin.

"What?! Hindi sabi eh!"

Biglang dumating si Nikki na humihingal din. "Bakit kayo tumakbo?"

Muling tumawa si Crayon. I don't know why but his laughter sounded cute. Tila ba
tuwang-tuwa talaga
siya. "I don't know. Kilala mo ba ang lalaking iyon, Violet?"

My eyes widen with the sudden question. Napakagat ako sa pang-ibabang labi ko. "H-
hindi."

"Then why are you running?"

Napatingin silang dalawa sa akin, waiting for me to answer the question. Heck! I
don't even know what's
the answer to that question! Hindi ko nga alam kung bakit!

"Kumain na nga lang tayo!" Pag-iiba ko sa usapan. Iniabot ko ang mga gamit kong
dala-dala ni Nikki at
ganoon din ang ginawa ni Crayon. Humakbang ako ngunit muli ring napatigil nang
mapagtantong pabalik
sa cafeteria ang daang tinatahak ko.

I let out a sigh before I looked back. "Wanna go on a nearby fastfood?" Tanong ko
sa kanila.

"Basta libre mo!" Wika ni Nikki at hinila ako palabas ng campus. I heard Crayon
chuckled at sumunod sa
amin.

Lumabas kami ng campus at pumara ng sasakyan. Akala namin ay sasama si Virus— si

Crayon pala
ngunit pinasakay niya lang kami at nagpaalam.
7/9
He glanced at his wristwatch bago kinausap si Nikki. "Pasensya na pero hahabol pa
ako sa ibang klase
ko, I have your number, so I'll text you later."

"Okay," sagot ni Nikki at nagpaalam na. Crayon looked at me and gestured a salute
kaya sinagot ko siya
ng tango. Nang makaalis ang sasakyan ay mahinang sinipa ni Nikki ang sapatos.

"Uuuy!"

"Anong uuyy?"

"Uuyy!"

I rolled my eyes at her. "Ewan ko sa'yo." Sumandal ako at niyakap ang bag ko. Bakit
ba bigla na lamang
akong tumakas sa cafeteria? And the only answer I get is that Semper's effect.
Napatingin ako kay Nikki
na matamang nakatitig din sa akin.

"Kilala mo ba yung lalaki sa cafeteria kanina?" Tanong ko sa kanya. Nikki still

looked serious.

She shook her head. "Hindi, bakit?"

"Sure ka?" I asked. I know when Nikki's being suspicious. Para kasing umiiwas siya
sa usapan.

"Bagong computer lab staff daw iyon," wika ni Nikki. She checked her nails and
looked outside before
looking at her nails again.

"Kasi ano..." I sighed. "Pamilyar siya sa akin."

"Ows?"

"Kalimutan mo na nga lang 'yon!" Sinamaan ko na lamang siya ng tingin at nag-abot

ng pamasahe bago
pumara sa tapat ng isang fastfood chain.

***

I saw myself riding a motorcycle and I possessed the sweetest smile in the world.
It was a smile of pure
happiness, adorned with so much emotions. Nakayakap ako sa beywang ng isang lalaki—
I looked at him
with eyes full of emotions.
8/9
Ilang sandali ay naramdaman kong hinawakan niya ang mukha ko. His hands were warm
that it brought
comfort down to my heart. Iniangat ko ang tingin at kasabay ng paglaglag ng luha ko
ay ang pagbangon
ko sa kinahihigaan ko.

Tuluyan akong napabangon. Nasa kwarto ako at nakahiga sa kama. I felt my cheeks and
my tears are
running down. Binuksan ko ang lampshade na nasa gilid at niyakap ang sarili ko.

A different feeling of loneliness suddenly embraced me. I felt all strings in me

broke. For some unknown
reason, I let myself cried a river and depression swallowed me whole.

9/9
CHAPTER 36: OBLIVION
wattpad.com/552371843-as-you-lie-awake-chapter-36-oblivion/page/5

Chapter 36: Oblivion

"Anak, kumain ka na ha? Maya-maya, darating na yung tubero upang ayusin 'yang sink,
paki-entertain
na lang ha? Ihahatid ko muna si Lav," narinig kong wika ni Mommy habang dinadama ko
sa mukha ko
ang usok mula sa aking kape.

Lav kissed my cheek and bid me goodbye. Weekend pero may pinapasukang martial art
class si Lav
kaya ako lamang ang maiiwan sa bahay. Nagpaalam na rin si Mommy at ilang minuto na
silang
nakalabas ng bahay ay nanatili akong nakatitig sa usok ng kape ko. Kulang na lamang
ay ilabas ko ang
mukha ko sa usok sabay sabi ng 'Wow Magic' but I would never do that stupid act.

Hindi ko alam kung bakit malungkot ako lately. Pakiramdam ko ay may kulang sa buhay
ko and the
problem is I do not know what it is.

I tried fixing all the broken strings inside me but to no avail. I feel wrecked and
incomplete. Tila isang
puzzle ako na may kulang. And what I do when a puzzle has a missing piece? I just
destroy it.
Pakiramdam ko ay ganoon ang ginagawa ko sa sarili ko.

Huminga ako ng malalim at tumayo upang kumuha ng tinapay na nasa kitchen cupboard.
Siguro ay
dulot na rin ng pagiging wala sa sarili, bigla kong nabitawan ang tinapay. Nahulog
iyon sa sahig kung
saan may basa na mula sa tumutulong tubo sa sink. My shoulders dropped. Kapag wala
ka sa mood ay
tinutukso ka rin ng tadhana.

Pinulot ko ang tinapay at agad na tinapon iyon sa basurahan. Bigla na tumunog ang
doorbell kaya agad
akong pumunta sa sala at binuksan ang pinto.

"DM Plumbing Services, good morning!" Wika ng lalaking napagbuksan ko, at sa gulat
ko ay si Semper
iyon. Nanlaki ang mga mata ko at out of impulse, bigla kong isinara ang pinto
ngunit agad naman niya
iyong napigilan. He slipped his body in at dahil mas malakas siya ay tuluyan siyang
nakapasok.
1/12
"Anong ginagawa mo rito?!" Really? Akala ko ba computer lab staff siya, ba't ngayon
tubero na?! Real
quick?!

Itinaas niya ang dalang gamit and he half-smiled. "DM Plumbing Services."

"Don't give me that answer. Nasaan ang totoong tubero?" What if gaya ng mga
napapanuod ko, he tied
the real plumber and got his clothes and things?! God, naaapektuhan na talaga ako
ng mga napapanuod
ko.

Inilapag niya ang gamit sa sahig at dinukot ang isang ID sa bulsa niya. The ID
shows his face and the
name Semper Galvez from DM Plumbing Services.

"Naniniwala ka na?" He asked.

"This is too much for a coincidence! Sinusundan mo talaga ako!"

He laughed. "You could say that."

Nilagpasan niya ako at tinungo niya ang kusina. He walked like he knew our house.
What the?!

"Don't do anything stupid here!" Wika ko nang nakarating kami sa kusina. Kinuha ko
ang knife holder na
naglalaman ng limang kutsilyo na iba-iba ang laki.

"Don't worry, baby, I am here to repair this," sagot niya at binuksan ang cabinet
sa ilalim ng sink kung
nasaan ang tubo. Tumalikod siya sa akin at sinimulang kulikutin ang gamit. I sat in
front of my coffee and
stared at his back.

He's wearing a black shirt and black ball cap. Tinanggal niya ang suot na ball cap
at ginulo ang buhok na
may ilang hibla na kulay puti. A white streak runs through his hair. I never
thought that brushing off hair
with fingers could be an art. Semper pulled off that simple finger stunt at
napalunok ako ng ilang beses.

2/12
with fingers could be an art. Semper pulled off that simple finger stunt at
napalunok ako ng ilang beses.

Kinalma ko ang sarili ko sa pamamagitan ng pag-inom ng kape. Agad akong napabuga

nang
mapagtantong mainit pa pala iyon. Damn, his presence really takes away all the
sanity in me.

Napalingon siya sa akin. "Hindi ka ba mag-ooffer ng kape or breakfast?" He asked.

Sinamaan ko siya ng tingin at sa halip na sumagot ay tumayo na lamang ako habang

dala-dala pa rin
ang knife holder upang magtimpla ng kape. I heard him chuckled at hindi ko na
lamang iyon pinansin.

Mom always told us to be hospitable. Kung sino man ang nasa bahay, either visitor
or anyone to provide
services, we offer them food. Pero sa ngayon ay kape lang ang tinimpla ko. Matapos
magtimpla ay
inilapag ko ang kape sa mesa.

Kinuha ko ulit ang knife holder at bumalik sa upuan ko. I took a sip from my coffee
at nanatiling tahimik.
Tumayo si Semper at pinahid ang kamay sa dalang towel at ininom ang kape. Aba,
hindi talaga nahiya!
He sat across me and smiled like he tasted the best coffee in the world. Pagkatapos
ay napadako ang
tingin niya sa akin.

"What?" I asked, glaring at him.

He smiled and shook his head. "Nothing, I just find you so beautiful in the
morning."

Damn. Kung nakatayo lang ako, malamang nabuwal na ako. Hello? I'm still in my
pajamas, at hindi pa
ako nagsusuklay. Although I am sure that wala naman akong muta dahil naghilamos
ako, naging
conscious pa rin ako sa hitsura ko.

I tried dodging the topic bago pa man ako tuluyang mawalan ng katinuan. "A-akala ko
ba sa AU ka
nagta-trabaho?"

"Yeah."

"And this?" I asked, pointing my lips to the sink.

3/12
"Part time job. Mahirap kumita ng pera, Violet," wika niya. An 'oh' formed my lips.
He called me Violet in
a very familiar tone. Suddenly, I felt a pang of emotion in my chest. Maybe relief.
Seriously? Hearing him
say my name relieved me?

Napaawang ang labi ko upang magsalita ulit ngunit walang lumalabas sa bibig ko. I
held my chest and
rubbed it. "C-can you say it again?"

"What?"

"My name. Can you say my name again?"

A smirk emerged from his face. "Why baby, you have a fetish for me saying your
name?"

All the magic that seemed to cover me suddenly vanished. His point is?! Yuck, baka
iniisip niyang
nagkakagusto ako sa kanya. I scowled at him and looked away. "You wish. Tapusin mo
na lamang ang
trabaho mo."

Hinigpitan ko na lamang ang yakap sa mga kutsilyo at napatawa na lang din siya. I
pointed on the white
streak in his hair.

"What's the white streak all about? Ikaw ba si Rogue ng X-men?" I asked. His
laughter vanished and
lonely expressions replaced. Hinawakan niya ang kanyang buhok.

"The coffee tastes good," pag-iiba niya sa usapan. Muli siyang humigop ng kape at
ngumiti sa akin. Hindi
na ako nagtanong pa sa buhok niya at sa halip ay pinagmasdan na lamang ang bawat
galaw niya.

Matapos maubos ang kanyang kape ay pinagpatuloy niya ang pag-ayos sa tubo. I stared
at his arm kung
saan nababakas ang kanyang mga veins and muscles. He doesn't look bulky but he's
not thin either.

Tiningnan ko ang ginagawa niya at mukha namang wala nang problema. I got the
envelope that Mom left
as payment at inilapag iyon sa mesa. "Thanks."

He smiled and washed his hands. Pagkatapos ay nagpunas siya ng kamay at tumingin sa
akin. His gaze
were lonely and full of longing. Suddenly, I felt the space cramped. Yup, Semper
has that effect on me.

"Y-you're g-good," nangangatal ang boses na wika ko habang nakatingin sa tubo.

Truth is I don't know if
he did it right, basta ang alam ko ay wala nang tumutulo roon.

"Madali lang gawin 'yan."

4/12
"P-para sa'yo. I can't do that," wika ko. Heck, why am I stattering by the way?
Siguro dahil naging relax
ako kanina. Semper has the ability to calm and tense me up.

"But you're good in what you're doing," wika niya sa akin.

"What am I doing?"

He bit his lower lip. "Taking my breath away."

Kumawala ang isang singhap mula sa bibig ko. Humawak ako sa mesa bilang suporta and
when I found a
chair, agad akong napaupo. Lumapit siya ng isang hakbang sa akin.

"Baby, don't ran away from me again, please? Not alone, not with someone," wika
niya.

Nagtangka siyang humakbang ulit papalapit sa akin ngunit nang makita niya ang tila
nasisindak kong
mukha ay tumigil siya. I was afraid because I suddenly felt nostalgic.

Natakot ako sa anomang mga nararamdaman ko. I looked at him and felt the emotions
that
summersaulted inside me.

He exhaled heavily before he turns to his back and picked up the envelope with the
payment.

"Thank you for using DM Plumbing Services," wika niya bago tumalikod at umalis.

*****

The day passed that I still feel the whole boring inside me. Dumapa ako sa kama at
tinakpan ang mukha
ko ng unan. I can't sleep. I wanted to sleep but I can't sleep. Muli akong tumihaya
ngunit duda ko ay
mag-aaksaya pa rin ako ng oras.

My boredom was cut off by a vibrating phone on my side table. Agad ko iyong sinagot
nang makita ang
pangalan ni Nikki.

5/12
"Wow, past 10 and you answered your phone. This is a miracle gerl," narinig kong
wika niya.

I mentally cringed. Geez, why can't she does hello? "Hello, Nikks."

"Hindi ka makatulog?" She sounded sure.

"I'm very sleepy right now," pagsisinungaling ko.

"Violet, I'm your self-proclaimed bestfriend at alam kong nagsisinungaling ka," she
said and laughed.
Naririnig ko ang ingay na mula sa background. Wild guess, she's at a bar.

"I'm about to sleep but I can't," pag-amin ko. "Clubbing?"

"Hmm-hmm," she hummed her answer. "And I'm so lonely without you." I bet she's
pouting right now. At
sa tingin ko ay alam ko na kung saan patungo ang usapang ito.

"No," tanggi ko bago pa man niya masabi ang anumang nais sabihin.

"Please?"

"No."

"Pretty please?" She asked. Tss, she really sounded like a cute puppy when she said
pretty please.
"Please, please, please?"

I sighed. "Alright, I'll go that if papayag si Dad—"

"Oh, I called him first," she said. Duda ko ay nakangisi na siya ngayon.

"You, what?"

Isang katok ang narinig ko at bumukas ang pinto at sumungaw ang ulo ni Daddy.
"Violet?"

He opened the lights at tumayo naman ako sa kama. Ibinaba ko ang cellphone at
tinago iyon sa likuran
ko. "Yes, Dad?"

"You're not ready yet?" Tanong niya.

6/12
"You're not ready yet?" Tanong niya.

"For what?" I forced a smile when I remembered what Nikki said. Napahigpit ang
hawak ko sa cellphone
ko at ngumiti ng matamis kay Daddy. "Oh, that. Maghahanda pa po Dad."

"Okay," he said with a smile. "Don't do drugs—"

"Dad!"

Tumawa si Daddy. "Kidding, sweetheart. Ingat kayo okay?"

I smiled at him nang nagpaalam na siya. Nang tuluyang maisara ang pinto ay muli
kong kinausap si Nikki
na nasa kabilang linya pa.

"I hate you, Nikks."

Tumawa siya nang malakas. "I'll pick you up." Agad niyang pinatay ang tawag at
napasimangot na
lamang ako. Yes, she doesn't do neither hello nor goodbye. I tossed my phone on the
bed and ransacked
my cabinet for an outfit.

Matapos ang halos labinlimang minuto ay nasa labas na ako ng bahay kung saan
naghihintay ang isang
itim na asul na BMW X3. Lumabas si Nikki mula sa sasakyan at tinawag ako.

"Lezzgo gerl!"

Lumapit ako sa kanya at binuksan niya ang pinto ng sasakyan. Natigil ang tangka
kong pagpasok nang
binati ako ng driver which happened to be Virus.

"Hi Violet!" bati niya. He waved his hand in front of me at hindi ko masasabing
nakangiti siya dahil nakamask pa rin siya. Tiningnan ko ng masama si Nikki at
sinagot niya lang ako ng ngisi.

"Crayon is lonely. You can't sleep. I want to party. We'll make a good team," wika
niya at nag-peace sign.
I rolled my eyes at tuluyan na lamang sumakay sa sasakyan. Alangan namang hindi na
lamang ako
sumama, ang bastos ko naman 'pag gano'n.

Bumalik kami ng Dowby's at naupo sa isang mesa. Ilang saglit lamang ay nawala si
Nikki at naiwan

7/12
Bumalik kami ng Dowby's at naupo sa isang mesa. Ilang saglit lamang ay nawala si
Nikki at naiwan
kaming dalawa ni Crayon sa mesa. It was a very awkward scenario.

Napahigop na lamang ako sa softdrinks na nasa harapan ko. I bit the straw and
stomped my foot to
make myself confortable. Umiinom naman si Crayon sa mula sa maliliit na bote ng
beer. He managed to
drink without removing his mask. Ninja talaga.

"What's on your mind?" Tanong niya maya-maya. Napaangat ako ng tingin kay Virus.

"Home."

He laughed. "Sorry, I don't know how to open a conversation." He looked around na

tila ba may
hinahanap. "Nasaan na kaya si Nikki?"

"Probably with her boyfriend. Do you mind if I'll ask questions?" tanong ko sa
kanya.

"Shoot."

"What's wrong with your face?"

Bigla siyang natawa. "Are you that curious?" Sinagot ko siya ng isang tango.
"Nothing."

"Eh ba't mask ka nang mask?" tanong ko at muli siyang natawa. Meh, I don't even
think that my words
were funny.

"For privacy."

My nose curled. "Wow, you got a bunch of papparazi?"

He shrugged and laughed. May pagka-weird din pala itong taong ito. "You know what?
I think I got a good
idea. How about let's take turns to ask each other a question at nang sa ganoon ay
hindi naman tayo
awkward dito?"

"Game," pagpayag ako. "Me first. Nikki said you're lonely. Why?"

"Pass," sagot niya.

"Ang daya mo!"

8/12
Tumawa lang siya bago muling nagsalita. "My turn. Do you have a boyfriend?"

"No, wala. My turn, what's your real name?" tanong ko.

"Crayon Alarcon. Bakit wala kang boyfriend?" he asked.

"Eh? Wala namang nanliligaw. How old are you?"

"22. Buy you've been in a relationship?" tanong niya. I almost frown. Bakit ba
tungkol sa pagboboyfriend
ko ang mga tanong niya.

"Yup, once. Bakit sa AU mo naisipang mag-cross enroll?"

"AU got good reviews as a school. What happened to that relationship?" tanong niya.

Uminom ako ng softdrink bago sumagot. "I was cheated on." I faked smile.
Nakakatuwang nasasabi ko
na iyon ngayon ng wala na ang labis na sakit na nararamdaman ko, hindi gaya ng
dati. Whenever I
remember that Daven cheated on me, it felt like a knife cut through me.

What course?"

"Engineering," sagot niya. "How did you deal with it?"

Napatigil ako sa tanong na iyon. I want to ask the same question to myself. How did
I deal with it? Akala
ko dati ay ikakamatay ko ang sakit na iyon. But heck, I'm still alive. Siguro kapag
nasasaktan tayo, we
tend to exaggerate things to another level. Naiwan lang ng syota, masisira na ang
buhay natin. But
those were just thoughts dahil kapag iisipin mong mabuti, nabuhay ka na wala siya.
When he came, you
have more reasons to live. If he leaves, you will think that life will end but the
truth is we'll still live.
Kumplikado talaga siguro ang pag-ibig.

I shrugged my shoulders. "Time. Maybe time." I wasn't sure of my answer though.

"Single?"
9/12
He nodded his head. "Good for you. For me, there's just too much that time cannot
erase." His voice was
lonely. Tila nahihimigan ko ang isang napakalungkot na alaala mula sa boses niyang
iyon. "Yes, I'm
single. Your greatest fear?"

"Unhappiness. Natatakot ako na balang araw, hindi na ako magiging masaya. I don't
want that moment
to come. Wait, hey your questions!" natatawang wika ko. Nasa Q and A portion ba
kami ng isang beauty
pageant.

Natawa rin siya. "What? Your fault. Para akong nagfi-fill up ng isang biodata sa
mga tanong mong 'yan. If
you want to get to know a person, ask him or her questions that you cannot get from
google or about me
sections ng social media niya."

Napangiti ako. Sa katunayan ay magaang kausap si Crayon. Nakaka-asar lang ang

pagsusuot niya ng
mask.

"My turn to ask." I cleared my throat. "How about you? What's your greatest fear?"

He looked at his bottle of beer. "Oblivion."

"Augustus Waters, is that you?" Biro ko.

"Hey, tapos ka nang magtanong, it's my turn to ask this time," wika niya.

"Baliw 'to." I rolled my eyes. He let out a hearty laugh. I know he got my Gus
reference.

"There will come a time when all of us are dead. All of us. There will come a time
when there are no
human beings remaining to remember that anyone ever existed or that our species
ever did anything.
There will be no one left to remember Aristotle or Cleopatra, let alone you.
Everything that we did and
built and wrote and thought and discovered will be forgotten, and all of this will
have been for naught.
Maybe that time is coming soon and maybe it is millions of years away, but even if
we survive the
collapse of our sun, we will not survive forever. There was time before organisms
experienced
consciousness, and there will be time after. And if the inevitability of human
oblivion worries you, I
encourage you to ignore it. God knows that's what everyone else does," he said.

"Wait, did you just quote Hazel Lancaster's line?" I asked.

"You're surfeit with two questions," wika niya at tumawa.

"Baliw ka talaga."
10/12
"Paulit-ulit kong sinasabi sa sarili ko ang sinabing iyan ni Hazel but I just can't
make myself unafraid with
oblivion. The more you fear for things, the more they come to you."

"Someone totally forgot you?" Tanong ko sa kanya.

"That's three questions in total," nakatawang sagot niya. Tsk, baliw talaga 'to.

"You never answered my excess questions anyway," I said with a frown.

"I will answer them if you will answer my questions too."

"Deal!" Sagot ko.

"My first question. How do you deal with excessive dejection?" Tanong niya.

"Ice cream." I let out a naughty laugh. Iyon ang balak kong gawin lalo na't
malungkot ako lately.

He laughed. Damn, he laughed genuinely na para bang hindi ko nahimigan ang lungkot
sa boses niya
kanina. Well he masked it excellently. "Okay. And to answer your first excess
question, no. No, I'm not
Augustus Waters."

"Ulol ka, hindi 'yan ang tanong ko!" Natatawang wika ko sa kanya.

"You asked that. Ang pangalawang tanong ko sa'yo. "Naranasan mo na bang magmahal ng
sobra-sobra?
The kind that you're willing to risk everything."

Natigilan ako. My chest felt tight. "Yes." I don't know why I said yes. Yes, I love
Daven but a part of me
says that I loved someone so much, but it wasn't Daven pero wala rin akong makapang
sagot kong sino.
A random thought crossed my mind. A scene where someone defined love for me. "Yes,
because if you
love someone, you will do everything upang magkasama kayo. Even if it means putting
yourself into
danger."

My hand shivered. My fingers are cold. Bakit hindi ko maalala kung sino ang nagsabi
sa akin ng mga
salitang iyon. I think I was about to tear up pero nagsalita si Crayon.

"I see. So, to answer your second question, Yes, I quoted Hazel Lancaster."

"Ang daya mo talaga!" I shrieked like a kid.

11/12
"Ang daya mo talaga!" I shrieked like a kid.

Tumawa siya sa reaksyon ko. "Anong madaya, sinasagot ko lang mga tanong mo kanina.
My third
question for you is, what will you do if you're forgotten by someone you love the
most?"

I shrugged my shoulders. "Move on, maybe." I don't know since it never happened to
me, or maybe not
yet. And I don't want that to happen.
He nodded his head. "So, to answer your last question, yes I was totally forgotten
by someone. Fuck
early-onset Alzheimer's Disease."

And I felt his pain in his words.

12/12
CHAPTER 37: STITCH
wattpad.com/552470744-as-you-lie-awake-chapter-37-stitch/page/4

Chapter 37: Stitch

That night, Crayon and I became close. I felt his pain. I can sympathize with him.
Hindi ko lubusang
maisip kung ano man ang nararamdaman niya ngayon. Maybe it totally hurts if someone
you love totally
forgotten you.

Kakalabas ko lang sa huling klase ko ngayong umaga. Tumunog ang cellphone ko and
when I checked,
it's Nikki, telling me to meet her at the cafeteria upang sabay kaming maglunch.
Hindi na ako
nagpatumpik-tumpik pa at agad na nagpunta sa cafeteria kung saan naabutan ko siyang
kausap si Virus.

"Hey, Virus," bati ko kay Crayon. Hindi na siya nagtaka kung bakit Virus ang tawag
ko sa kanya. I told
him the other night.

"Hey, De Lima."

Napatikhim si Nikks. "Teka, ano yang Virus at De Lima na 'yan? May hindi ba ako
alam?"

"Marami. Alam mo bang hindi ako pumasa sa quiz ko kanina?" I asked her.

"What? Bumagsak ka?!"

I laughed. "See? Hindi mo alam na nagsisinungaling ako."

Napalabi siya at bumaling kay Crayon. "Anong ginawa mo sa kanya?"

1/16
Crayon just laughed and shrugged his shoulders. Bumaling ako sa kanya at sinamaan
siya ng tingin.
"Anong De Lima?"

"Lila."

"Anong problema mo dun?"

"Lila De Lima," he said, without even laughing. Si Nikki pa mismo ang tumawa nang
malakas nang
tuluyang maproseso sa utak niya ang joke ni Crayon.

"Lay-la kasi 'yon!"

"Wala ka talagang sense of humor," wika ni Crayon kay Nikki.

"Pati common sense," dagdag ko. Nikki stopped laughing and glared at us.

"You two conspired against me, am I right?" nanlilisik sa pabirong paraan ang mga
mata niya. Crayon
raised his hands as if he surrendered.

"I think you two have to eat," wika ni Crayon. Tumayo siya at ini-offer sa akin ang
upuan. "Upo ka na rito
Lila." Bumaling siya kay Nikki pagkatapos sumulyap sa suot niyang wristwatch. "I
have to catch my next
class at Carson. So paano, mauna na ako sa inyo?"

"Bye!" paalam ni Nikki.

"Get lost," biro ko sa kanya. He only laughed at ginulo ang buhok ko bago iyon
tinapik na para bang isa
akong aso bago siya tuluyang umalis.

Nakaalis na siya ngunit saglit akong nanigas sa kinauupuan ko. The pat. The pat
that he made just made
2/16
my fingers cold. It made me felt nostalgic. The pat seemed like a clue to a missing
piece in my life.

"Violet, okay ka lang?" pukaw ni Nikki akin. I rubbed my palms on my face to regain
myself bago ako
tumango sa kanya.

"I'm good."

"Ang pogi ni Crayon, 'no?" She asked with a grin. Alam na alam ko ang ngising iyon.

"Talaga, bet mo?" I said, returning her silly grin to her.

"Sus, si ateng. Sa'yo kasi—"

"Kain na tayo," wika ko at tumayo.

She laughed before she stood up at sumunod sa akin. "Okay! Dapat hindi minamadali
ang mga bagaybagay."

"Ewan ko sa'yo."

"Ayeeeeh!" She teased as she tried to poke my side ngunit agad din namang itinigil
nang sinamaan ko
siya ng tingin.

***

Nakatambay ako ngayon sa library. Ayokong tumambay sa labas dahil tiyak magku-krus
na naman ang
landas namin ni Semper. And I hate hearing stories about him, ewan ko ba kung
bakit. Noong
nakatambay kasi ako sa convenient shed, nawala lang ako sa mood nang marinig kong
pinag-uusapan
siya ng mga babaeng estudyante.
3/16
And I don't know why it bothered me this much. Pake ko ba kung maraming
nagkakagusto sa kanya dito
sa school? He's not a bad choice anyway— physically speaking.

Kinuha ko ang cellphone at nagbukas ng messenger. I checked messenges from friends

at sa group chat
sa school. Sunod kong tiningnan ay ang message request.

One new message request

Open a request to get info about who's messaging you. They won't know you've seen
it until
you accept.

Crayon Alarcon

️✖️

Binuksan ko ang mensahe ni Crayon.

Sunday 12:02 a.m.

Crayon:
De Lima

You accepted Crayon's request.

Mon 3:05 p.m.

Hu u?

Mag-o-offline na sana ako nang magnotify na active now si Crayon. Ilang saglit
lamang ay nagreply siya.

Crayon:
Ako ang iyong konsensya

korni mo.

Crayon:
Wala kang pasok?

meron

4/16
meron

Crayon:
Ba't ka online?

Ba't mo tinatanong?

Crayon:
Ba't mo tinatanong kung bakit ko tinatanong?

Block kita

Crayon:
Haha, meron ka?

Anong meron?

Crayon:
Water

Whut?

Crayon:
Water Meron

Crayon:
Knock knock

Pasok ka.

Crayon:
KJ!

Crayon:
5/16
Knock knock

Sge na nga.
Hus der?

Crayon:
Meron

Meron hu?

Crayon:
Meron meron Sinta
buko ng papaya

Utang na loob
wag mong sirain araw ko

Crayon:
Hahaha! pengeng #

#5

Crayon:
corny. # mo kasi
contact #

Bakit?

Crayon:
Hindi yun pick
up line oy haha

baliw. alam ko

Crayon:
sge na. penge na

ba't ka nanghihingi?
wala ka bang sa'yo?
6/16
Crayon:
Kulit mo

Ako ba naghingi?
bakit ako pa
makulet ngayon?

Crayon:
Sge na, may klase pa ako

Crayon:
K for Kyot?

K for Krezi.
baliw ka
bye

Crayon:
# mo nga

Seen
3:12 pm

3:20pm
Crayon:
seener!

Seen

Crayon:
pagmagaling kang
kumanta, seener ka dba?
tapos pag magaling
sumayaw, dancer

7/16
Sira na araw
ko dahil sa'yo

Crayon:
Glad to have
that power

Seen

Nag-offline ako at natawa. Makulit din pala kausap 'tong Crayolang 'nay Virus na
'to. Tinago ko ang
cellphone sa bag at lumabas ng library. Wala na akong pasok ngayong araw at
papalabas na sana ako
ng campus nang matanaw ko si Nikki.

She looks angry kung kaya't sinundan ko siya. She walked towards the back part of
the gym kung saan
hindi maraming tao. Saka ko lamang napansin na may kasama pala siya, at sa gulat
ko, it was Semper.

Nasa likurang bahagi sila ng gym. Kung galit ang ekspresyon ng mukha ni Nikki ay
triple naman ang galit
na mababakas sa mukha ni Semper.

"Anong ginawa mo?!" His voice was firm and full of conviction. Mahigpit ang
pagkakahawak niya sa braso
ni Nikki, not minding the latter's cringe due to pain.

"I did what's best for the both of you!" Sagot ni Nikki. Sinubukan niyang makawala
sa pagkakahawak ni
Semper ngunit nabigo siya.

"Lailah, please..." Semper suddenly sounded so hurt. "Hindi mo alam ang pinagdaanan
ko sa ilang buwan
na nawala ako. I was punished by the Powers, faced trials with the Archangels!
Condemned by the
Dominions! At ngayong nandito na ako, this is what I get?"

Sa pagkakataong ito ay nakawala na si Nikki sa pagkakahawak ni Semper. Wait, hindi

man lamang ba
siya nagtataka kung bakit Lailah ang tawag sa kanya ni Semper? And Powers?
Archangels? Dominions?
Ano ba ang pinag-uusapan nila?

"Kung ako sa'yo ay gawin mo na lamang kung ano talaga ang nakatakda sa'yo. Do your
job and forget
about her."

Semper brushed off his hair in frustration. "You're not God to tell me what I am
destined to."

"Hindi mo mababago kung ano ka talaga. Ah, you can but you will be exiled. Handa ka
na bang

8/16
"Hindi mo mababago kung ano ka talaga. Ah, you can but you will be exiled. Handa ka
na bang
dumating ang araw na tuluyang mabulok ang pakpak mo? Accept it or not Semper, there
will come a
time that your wings will be totally torn and rotten, your halo be twisted and
you'll suffer the
consequences of your disobedience. Don't wait for the time where you will suffer
humanity's cruelness,
your scars will make you unpleasing to the eyes and mind you, you will suffer
endlessly," wika ni Nikki.

Hindi ko makita kung ano man ang reaksyon ni Semper dahil nakatalikod siya sa akin.
Iniwan siya ni
Nikki at nanatiling nakatayo roon. Agad naman kong nagkubli bago tuluyang umalis
doon.

Habang lulan ng taxi ay hindi ko magawang iwaglit sa isipan ang narinig kong pinag-
usapan ni Semper at
Nikki. Hindi ko alam na magkakilala pala sila.

Wait, may tinatago ba si Nikki sa akin? Sino ba si Semper? Bakit ang weird ng
pinag-uusapan nila kanina?

My thoughts were distracted by my ringing phone. Agad ko iyong inilabas sa bag at

nang makitang
unregistered number ang tumatawag ay nagdalawang-isip ako kung sasagutin ba iyon.
The ringing
ended at isang message ang dumating mula sa unregistered number.

from 09xxxxxxxxx:
busy ka?
4:06 p.m.

who's this pls?

4:06 p.m.

09xxxxxxxxx
don't english me
4:06 p.m.

Sino ka?
4:07 p.m.

09xxxxxxxxx
ako ang iyong konsensya
4:07 p.m.

sa text ka na naman
ba mangungulit Crayola?
4:08 p.m.

09xxxxxxxxx
oo. panu mo nlaman
na ako 'to?

9/16
na ako 'to?
4:08 p.m.

Hello brainy
gasgas kasi linya mo.
revise mo rin minsan
4:09 p.m.

09xxxxxxxxx
san ka ngaun?
4:09 p.m.

nasa damit ko
4:09 p.m.

09xxxxxxxxx
nasan damit mo?
4:10 p.m.

nasa akin
4:10 p.m.

09xxxxxxxxx
kailan ka ba titino
sa buhay mo?
4:11 p.m.

bumaba ka nga dyan

sa sinasakyan mo
4:12 p.m.

alam mo palang
nasa sasakyan ako
tinanong mo pa
4:12 p.m.

09xxxxxxxxx
tinetest ko honesty
mo. baba na

10/16
mo. baba na
4:13 p.m.

ayaw
4:13 p.m.

09xxxxxxxxx
babanggain ko
kayo
4:14 p.m.

waw. natakot mo
ako
4:16 p.m.

09xxxxxxxxx
waw hahaha
4:16 p.m.

nakakatawa?
4:16 p.m.

09xxxxxxxxx
oo. mukha mo
at yang waw mo
4:17 p.m.

block ko number mo
4:18 p.m.

09xxxxxxxxx
pikon
baba na kasi.
hatid kita
4:19 p.m.

stalker ka ba?
4:19 p.m.

09xxxxxxxxx
oy gwapo ako ha
4:20 p.m.
11/16
san banda?
sa mask mo?
4:21 p.m.

san mo nkuha
# ko?
4:21 p.m.

09xxxxxxxxx
baba na
sakay ka sa akin.
4:21 p.m.

09xxxxxxxx
joke. sa sasakyan
ko pala. baka
naglalaway ka na dyan
nang inimagine mong
sa akin ka sasakay
4:22 p.m.

BDO
4:22 p.m.

ang baboy mo
BDO mo mukha mo
4:23 p.m.

09xxxxxxxx
hahahaha
baba na kasi
sa akin ka na
sumakay
4:23 p.m.

ay sasakyan ko
pala haha
4:23 p.m.

may pamasahe ako

4:23 p.m.

12/16
09xxxxxxxxx
di halata.
naaawa ako sa driver.
mahal ang metro mo tas
tatakbo ka lang sa
halip na magbayad
4:24 p.m.

shatap
Wait. are u txting
while driving?
4:25 p.m.

09xxxxxxxxx
it's called mutitasking
4:25 p.m.

Natatawang nailing ako at nilingon ang likurang bahagi ng taxi. Mula sa salamin ay
natanaw ko ang
nakabuntot na BMW X3 ni Crayon mula sa 'di kalayuan. Pinara ko ang taxi at
nagpasalamat matapos
magbayad. Nang makaalis ang taxi ay huminto rin ang sasakyan ni Crayon mula sa
kabilang eskina.

Kinuha ko ang cellphone ko at nag-text sa kanya.

siraulo.
ikaw lumapit dito
alangan nman ako
lalapit dyan
4:26 p.m.

09xxxxxxxxx
hu u?
4:26 p.m.

gago
4:26 p.m.

09xxxxxxxxx
haha HB ka?
4:26 p.m.

HB?
hey beautiful?
4:27 p.m.
13/16
09xxxxxxxxx
hoy baliw
feeler mo
on the way na
4:27 p.m.

Bilisan mo
facundo
4:27 p.m.

I kept my phone in my bag nang makitang umandar na ang sasakyan ni Crayon. Huminto
siya sa tapat
ko at dumungaw ang naka-mask niyang mukha sa bintana.

Sa halip na ngumiti ay sumimangot ako sa kanya at agad na binuksan ang pinto ng

backseat ngunit
nakalock iyon.

He leaned on the window and looked at me. "I already forseen that sa backseat ka
sasakay so I took
preventive measures." Binuksan niya ang shotgun seat kaya't pasalampak na pumasok
ako roon at
naupo.

Inilahad niya ang palad niya sa harap ko na para bang may hinihingi. I raised one
brow to ask a silent
question.

"Give me your phone."

"Bakit?" Nagtatakang tanong ko.

"Basta, give me your phone," wika niya at iginalaw ang nakalahad na palad sa
harapan ko.

"Ayoko."

Nagulat ako nang pinisil niya ang ilong ko. "Tigas ng ulo— yuck, oily! Sumabog pa
blackheads!"

Tinabig ko ang kamay niya. "Gago!" Wala akong blackheads sa ilong! Medyo oily
talaga ang ilong ko
pero walanghiya, isampal ba naman sa akin ang katotohanang iyon?

He laughed bago ginulo niya ang buhok ko. Muli kong tinabig ang kamay niya at
tumawa lang ulit siya.

14/16
"Phone mo nga kasi."

Wala akong nagawa kundi kinuha ang cellphone ko at padabog na inilagay iyon sa
nakalahad niyang
palad.

"Passcode?"

"111111," tinatamad na sagot ko.

"Hoo, ang hirap ah."

I rolled my eyes on his remarks and I watched him scroll on my phone. Ilang saglit
ay iniharap niya sa
akin ang thread ng messages namin.

"Bakit 'di mo ni-save number ko?" He asked.

"Pake mo?"

He laughed again at kinulikot ang cellphone ko. Pagkatapos ay inihagis niya iyon sa
akin! Buti na lamang
malakas ang reflexes ko dahil baka tumama pa iyon sa mukha ko.

"Bastos nito oh!" I scowled at him.

"Naghubad ba ako sa harapan mo?"

My forehead creased. "Ha? Hindi."

"Edi hindi ako bastos," sagot niya at binuhay ang makina ng sasakyan. Ilang sandali
lamang ay tinatahak
na namin ang daan.

I checked my phone to see kung ano bang pinakialaman niya roon. So far wala namang
naging kakaiba
roon, maliban na lamang sa number niyang nai-save na niya.

"Stitch? Why did you save your number as Stitch?" tanong ko sa kanya.

"Call my number," sagot niya habang nasa daan ang tingin.

15/16
"Ano? Ayoko nga!"

"Call me."

"Ayaw."

"Sige na kasi!"

I frowned before I dialed his number. Nag-vibrate ang cellphone niyang nasa
dashboard kung kaya
kinuha ko iyon at tiningnan. My number was saved as Lila.

"So?" I mouthed habang palipat-lipat ang tingin ko sa kanya at sa cellphone niya.

He stopped the car on the side at nilingon ako. He pressed his pointer finger on my
forehead at naiinis
na tinabig ko iyon.

"Slowpoke," he said and pointed at me. "Lila." This time ay ang sarili naman niya
ang tinuro niya. "And
Stitch."

And it took me twelve seconds to burst into laughter.

16/16
CHAPTER 38: WAITING
wattpad.com/552590957-as-you-lie-awake-chapter-38-waiting/page/3

Chapter 38: Waiting

Sumandal ako sa pinto at tila ninjang pumasok sa entrance ng computer laboratory. I

hate this. I really
hate this. I almost totally forgot that I have a Business IT class at may isang
araw na kailangan naming
mag-lab. Sa tindi ba kasi ng absences ng prof namin sa subject na ito, akala ko ay
hindi na talaga kami
magla-laboratory.

Another reason why I hate this is that Semper is the new computer lab staff.
Actually, he wouldn't bother
me this much dahil unang-una, hindi naman siya ang instructor ko at higit sa lahat,
hindi naman dapat
nakikialam ang lab staff kapag nagha-hands on.

I sighed heavily and ducked as I walk. Namataan ko siya sa isang bahagi ng silid at
kausap ngayon ang
instructor ko. Mas lalo pa akong bumaba at pilit na naghanap ng bakanteng unit.

Nang makahanap ako ay halos gumapang na ako papunta roon. When I reached the unit,
I stood on my
knees at dahan-dahang inayos ang sarili ko paupo. Halos mapasigaw na lang ako nang
eksaktong pagupo ko ay biglang may umikot ng swivel chair ko. To my surprise, I was
now facing Semper's halfsmiling, half-smirking face.

Napalunok ako ng ilang beses! Mabuti na lamang at hindi ako tuluyang napasigaw
dahil tiyak na
mababaling ang atensyon ng lahat sa amin.

"Anong ginagawa mo rito?" Wika ko habang napatutop sa dibdib.

"I work here."

Pinaikot ko ang eyeballs ko at sinamaan siya ng tingin. "Anong ginagawa mo d'yan?"

I pointed in his
swivel chair. "Kausap ka lang si Sir kanina, 'di ba?"

1/8
swivel chair. "Kausap ka lang si Sir kanina, 'di ba?"

He smiled. "I saw someone crawling on the floor. I thought it's a pretty little
mouse."

Inirapan ko siya at hinarap ang computer. To my surprise, he reached for the AVR
and turned it on. He
leaned close to me kung kaya't langhap na langhap ko ang amoy niya. He really had
this soothing scent
that really lingers on your nostrils. But there was something in his scent...

"You smoke?" I blurted out.

He stopped on his track and looked at me. "You don't like it?"

Hello, wala akong pakialam kung ano pa ang gawin niya sa buhay niya. He can smoke,
take dope, or
whatever. Wala akong pake.

"Forget it, wala akong pake," wika ko at hinarap ang screen ng monitor. He turned
my chair again to
make me face him and I silently cursed why the chairs here are like this.

"Bawiin mo ang sinabi mo." His eyes were dark and fierce— oh, I mean darker because
his eyes were
always dark.

"Alin doon?"

"The part where you said wala kang pake," he said, and he became soft. He held my
hand and played
with my fingers. Dinala niya sa pisngi niya ang kamay ko. "Please, baby, take it
back."

He sounded so soft and sincere. Kapag pinagpatuloy niya ang tuno na iyon ay baka
bumigay ako. I'm
afraid I might reach out to him and comfort him. I might probably tell him that I
don't mind if he smells
like smoke. It only added to the intoxicating mixture of bathsoap and mint scent in
his body.

"Ayoko. Umalis ka na dahil may klase pa ako," wika ko sa kanya. He remains on his
seat and stares at

2/8
"Ayoko. Umalis ka na dahil may klase pa ako," wika ko sa kanya. He remains on his
seat and stares at
me for seconds ngunit nang inulit ko ang sinabi ay tumayo na siya.

"Alright. Let's have lunch together," wika niya sa malumanay na boses.

"Okay— wait! I mean no!" Pagbawi ko! Ano bang iniisip ko?!

"I'll take the first answer as your final answer." Gone was his lost puppy aura at
napalitan iyon ng
kanyang common na ekpresyon— the blank one. "I'll see you later at lunch baby.
Rooftop ng CBAA
building, 12 sharp. I'll be waiting."

He left without hearing me answer kung kaya't napairap na lamang ako at bahagyang
napangiwi. As if,
I'll go. Tsk.

************

"Hey!"

Halos mapasigaw ako sa gulat nang may kumalabit sa akin. Natutop ko ang dibdib at
sinamaan ng tingin
ang taong iyon.

"Bakit ka nag-ni-ninja gaming diyan?" Tanong niya. Umayos ako ng tayo at pilit na
ngumiti. Yup, I let out
the inner ninja in me again to escape the lab and went to the lobby pero sa
kasamaang palad ay nahuli
ako ni Daven.

"Shhh!" I motioned my hand to my nose and made a gesture to keep him quiet. Muli
akong nag-ninja
moves at tinungo ang kabilang bahagi ng pasilyo. I heard Daven laugh and followed
me using his ninja
moves too.

"Trying to be part of the ninja turtles?" Tanong niya.

I made a face. "Trying to be funny?"

Tumawa siya at umayos ng tayo. Hinawakan niya ang braso ko at bahagya akong
nagulat.

3/8
Tumawa siya at umayos ng tayo. Hinawakan niya ang braso ko at bahagya akong
nagulat.

"I know you're trying to escape someone, and I guess I can help you with that,"
wika niya.

"Really?"

He nodded and pulled me towards the parking lot. Dinala niya ako sa harap ng kotse
niya at pinagbuksan
ng pinto. Daven is always the gentleman that every girl would dream of. Hindi ako
nagsisising
nagkagusto ako sa kanya at naging kami dati.

Nang makaupo ako ay umikot na siya sa kabilang bahagi ng kotse at pumasok. He

smiled at me before
he turns the engine on.

"Saan tayo?" Tanong ko sa kanya.

"Somewhere..." I sighed. I couldn't think of any place. Gusto kong umalis upang
hindi makita si Semper
ngunit kalahati ko naman ay gustong makita siya.

"Okay, I'll give you time to decide," wika niya at nagpatuloy lamang sa
pagmamaneho.

Sumandal ako at nakaharap sa bintana. Why does a part of me is sad for leaving
Semper behind? Hindi
naman sa iniisip kong maghihintay siya sa akin sa rooftop hanggang forever pero
paano kung ganoon
nga ang gawin niya?

Napabuntong-hininga na lamang ako. My thoughts were cut off by Daven's voice.

"Have you decided?" He asked.

"May pasok ka ba ngayong hapon?" tanong ko sa kanya.

"I can ditch if you want me to," nakangiting sagot niya. His attention was still
focused on the road.

"Can you bring me somewhere where I'll forget my troubles?" Tanong ko sa kanya.
Bigla na lamang
niyang inihinto ang sasakyan. His forehead creased as he looked at me.

"What's wrong?" Puno ng pag-aalala niyang wika.

I shook my head many times. Hindi ko alam kung bakit bigla na lamang nag-unahan sa
pagtulo ang mga
luha ko. "N-nothing."
4/8
luha ko. "N-nothing."

Daven stared at me for seconds at patuloy lang ako sa pag-iyak. Heck, why do I have
this OA moment?
Hindi ko alam bakit umiiyak ako. I feel so sad. Napakalungkot. Mental pain is too
much to bear.

"Violet..." He reached for my hand and squeezed it as he tried to comfort me. "You
can tell me your
problems."

My tears continued to flow. "'Yon na nga ang problema Daven eh. I don't know what
the problem is. I
guess I'm just being overly dramatic lately. I always feel lonely and lethargic. My
life seems to be
incomplete. Pakiramdam ko ay may butas. A hole that cannot be filed because first
and foremost, I don't
know how the hole appeared. I really felt so miserable."

Mas humigpit pa ang pagkakapisil niya sa kamay ko. Binawi ko iyon upang mapunasan
ang luha ko.
When I was able to dry my tears, I forced a smile. "Saan na tayo?"

Nanatili siyang nakaupo at nakatitig sa akin. He let out a bitter smile. "Mahal nga
talaga kita kasi kapag
nakikita kitang malungkot, parang pinipiga ang dibdib ko."

"Daven..."

"It's not easy for me to let you go pero kailangan." He cupped my cheek and pressed
it using his thumb.
"I don't want to see you happy with somebody else kasi pakiramdam ko ay hinihiwa
ang puso ko but
Violet... I need to. I have to. Dahil kapag nakikita kitang ganyan, mas triple ang
sakit na nararamdaman
ko. You deserve to know the truth."

My forehead creased upon hearing his words. "Daven..."

Daven brought me to a theme park. He made me enjoy first but when it didn't work,
dinala niya ako sa
isang library cafe. He told me everything. Everything that I need to know.

Sa umpisa ay naging magulo ang lahat sa akin. The idea is just ridiculous. Akala ko
ay ginagawa lang
niya akong bata at kung anu-ano ang pinagsasabi just to comfort me. But then
everything fell into the
right places. Naging malinaw sa akin ang lahat and then it all hit me. It's all
coming back to me. Lahat ng
alaala kasama si Semper. Mula nang makita ko siya sa field and then the next
moment, he's right behind
me. Our bittersweet memories. His scars. The one in which he always annoyed the
hell out of me. The
one we shared at the beach. My tattoo. And the kiss.
5/8
Lahat ng iyon ay naging malinaw. It was too much for me to bear at the moment kung
kaya't nawalan
ako ng malay at nang magising ako ay nasa bahay na ako. Mom said Daven brought me
here.

Halos limang oras din akong walang malay. Sa ngayon ay pilit pang nag-aadjust ang
sistema ko.

Tumayo ako sa kama at binuksan ang bintana. Pasado alas nuebe na nang gabi at
malakas ang ulan. The
sound of the raindrops made me feel better somehow.

Minsan kasi ay maituturing na kaibigan ang ulan. Sometimes it cries with you. It
helps you wash away
your tears. Now, I began hating myself. How could I forget Semper? Hindi ko alam
kung ano ang
nangyari but I am more concern with the thought that I didn't recognize him! Not
even my heart!

"Shit!" I mumbled when I remembered something.

"I'll take the first answer as your final answer. I'll see you later at lunch baby.
Rooftop ng CBAA building,
12 sharp. I'll be waiting."

Hindi ako nagpunta dahil pinili kong umiwas. Sinadya kong huwag pumunta.

"I'll take the first answer as your final answer. I'll see you later at lunch baby.
Rooftop ng CBAA building,
12 sharp. I'll be waiting."

Damn! Bakit ba bigla-bigla na lamang pumapasok sa isipan ko ang sinabi niyang iyon?

Of course, kanina pa siya umalis. Who's fool enough to wait for 10 hours at umuulan
pa? I should not let
it bug me at this hour. Sinara ko ang bintana at bumalik sa kama ko. I pulled my
sheets and hugged it
tightly.

"I'll be waiting."

Argh! Semper may not be foolish but he's stubborn. He is so stubborn that it pissed
me right now. Sa huli
ay napagpasyahan kong magbihis at nagmamadaling pumunta sa university.

Inilibot ko ang paningin sa paligid. The umbrella slipped my hand when my eyes
caught the figure sitting
on one side. Basang-basa siya ng ulan at sa tabi niya ay may basket na may payong.

"Semper!"
6/8
Lumapit ako sa kanya at lumuhod sa harapan niya. I lift his head that was rested on
his knees as he
hugged his shins.

"Ano ba sa tingin mo ang ginagawa mo!" My eyes diverted to the basket. Mas siniguro
pa niya talagang
payungan ang basket kaysa sa sarili niya! I brushed his wet hair from his forehead.
"You're really—
arrgh!"

His lackluster eyes suddenly brightened. "You came!" Hinawakan niya ang mga pisngi
ko at nagsimula
akong umiyak.

"Bakit ka pa nandito?! Bakit hindi ka pa umalis?" Damn, bakit kailangan ko pang

umiyak sa harap niya.
I'm crying right now because I'm worried and another reason is that I'm very happy.
I began pounding his
chest in frustration. "Why do you love soaking in the rain? Naiisip mo na naman ba
na baka nahihirapan
si Jophiel ngayon?"

The first time I saw him soaking in the rain, he told me that angels are having
hard moments. Napakunot
ang kanyang noo at maya-maya ay napangiti siya.

"You remembered?"

Ngumiti siya ng matamis at mas hinigpitan ang pagkakahawak sa pisngi ko. He leaned
a little to give me
a kiss in my nose. "I missed you so much, baby."

I felt the invisible hole in me filled up. It felt so good. Pakiramdam ko ay muli
akong nagkaroon ng rason
na mabuhay. I could be shouting for joy right now. He pulled me and closed the
distance between us.
Wala kaming pakialam sa ulan na patuloy lamang sa pagbuhos.

I suddenly melted into his warm hug. Gumanti ako ng yakap and rested my head on his
shoulders. I don't
know how long we embraced, all I know is that I found the place where I wanted to
be, in his arms.

And then I remembered...

"Bakit ka ba nagpapaulan?!" Tumayo ako at kinuha ang payong niya. "Mas pinayungan
mo pa 'tong
basket!" I'm worried and I'm trying to mask it with anger.

Tumayo rin siya at kinuha ang basket sa gilid. Waters were dripping down his face
to his collarbone.

"This is our lunch," nakangiti niyang wika.

My chest then tightened. Damn, what did I do to deserve this angel?

7/8
My chest then tightened. Damn, what did I do to deserve this angel?

8/8
CHAPTER 39: MASKING
wattpad.com/553361607-as-you-lie-awake-chapter-39-masking/page/4

Chapter 39: Masking

We found ourselves in his new apartment. Paulit-ulit na bumahing si Semper habang

naghahanap ng
maisusuot na damit. I lazily slouched on his sofa as I watched him striped his
shirt. My back came to view
on his scarred back. I prevented myself from standing up to touch his scars, but I
failed big time.

Natagpuan ko na lamang ang sarili kong nakatayo sa likuran niya. My fingers run
through the bumps of
his long scar. I felt his body stiffened as he felt the warmth of my touch. His
muscles tensed up and I
hesitated to continue touching his back. But then again, I failed big time.

Lumipat ang kamay ko sa likuran niya, touching his bare skin. He was shaking and
his skin felt so warm.
My fingers slide down near his waist, touching every skin I see. He caught my hands
and pulled me from
behind. Ngayon ay nakayakap na ako sa kanya mula sa likuran. I even felt his warm
body more.

My cheek rested near his scar. I wasn't afraid and neither felt scared of his scar
nor anything else. I was
completely dazed with his warmth and the zero space between our bodies.

My hands felt his heavy breathing. Ilang sandali ay tinanggal niya ang kamay kong
nakayakap sa kanya
at hinarap ako. Now I was facing his bare chest. I almost lost all sanity in me.
His eyes were burning with
something. It was the same dark expressionless eyes that seemed to burn with
passion. He pulled me
closer and my face touched his chest. My breathing was confined. I know he can feel
the heat of my
breath coming from my nostrils to his chest.

He kissed the top of my head. It felt great. It felt so great. His arms snaked
around my waist and I looked
up, looking at him in the eyes, giving him the same burning gazes to equal his.

He lowered his head and I meet his lips. I felt the imaginary fireworks that
exploded in the sky. All I could
hear was the symphony that was created by this moment and my own heavy heartbeat.
His mouth
moved expertly, exploring mine. His hands held me tightly, pulling me closer to him
na para bang wala
siyang balak na may makadaan na hangin sa pagitan namin.

1/10
siyang balak na may makadaan na hangin sa pagitan namin.

I tipped my head, enjoying the moment of tasting his mouth. He nibbled on my lower
lip, tasting the
upper one and invaded my mouth. His tongue explored inside, finding its way to
taste my mouth. I gave
in. I began responding to his kisses, giving equal heat and burning sensation.
Ginaya ko ang ginawa niya
sa bibig ko, and I heard him moaned a little.

It boosted me and I even did better. All I could think about is that we're kissing
in our world. One swift
moment and my body was carried on the air, but the kiss was never broken. My hand
slipped into his
neck, pulling his hair gently. Inilapag niya ako sa sofa at patuloy lamang sa
paghalik.

He pressed his body on me and I willingly welcomed him. Our body shared the heat
and it's making me
crazy. His kisses became hungry, but it felt so good. Bumaba ang kanyang halik
patungo sa baba ko. He
gently nibbled on my jaw, then up to my ear, sipping my earlobe. The heat of his
mouth that envelopes
my earlobe felt so good that I can't help but gasp.

Bumaba ulit ang mga labi niya sa leeg ko. His tongue touched my skin and it felt so
great. His mouth
particularly lingered on one part of my neck and I just let him. I was caught in a
different spell made by
his kisses.

Naging mapangahas ang kamay niya. His hand slipped under my shirt and fondled my
breast. It felt so
fucking good, but it only made me broke the spell. Naitulak ko siya ng mahina at
bahagya rin siyang
nagulat. Umayos ako ng upo at ibinaba ang damit ko.

He sat on the floor, facing me. "I'm sorry."

"No, I'm sorry," wika ko at hinila siya patayo. I signaled him to sit beside me and
he willingly obliged. I
leaned on his shoulder. "Sorry."

"No, baby, I'm sorry. I got carried away," wika niya sa akin at hinawakan ang
pisngi ko. He kissed my
forehead and brushed my hair with his fingers.

2/10
forehead and brushed my hair with his fingers.

"I think we should get dressed," wika ko sa kanya. I forgot he's topless and his
pants were wet.

Tumayo siya at kumuha ng damit. He tossed me a shirt dahil katulad niya ay nabasa
rin ako. Pinagbihis
niya ako sa silid at lumabas naman siya. His shirt reached up to my mid-thigh.
Inilibot ko ang paningin sa
loob ng silid niya. His apartment was bigger than the one he has before. His things
were grand that it
made me wonder how he was able to acquire such things.

Now that I noticed it, he uses a black motorcycle to school just like before at sa
garahe ng apartment
niya ay may nakita akong kotse. Hindi na ako nag-abalang magtanong pa kung kanino
iyon. I don't want
to think that it is his, how could he afford it? Oh, he's working at Athena
University and also as a parttime plumber, but I guess it isn't enough to acquire a
car. Uh, what am I thinking? Iwinaglit ko iyon sa
isipan at lumabas ng silid.

Paglabas ko ay nagtitimpla siya ng kape. I smiled at him at lumapit sa kanya.

Bahagya akong napatigil
nang mapansin na tila may kakaiba sa kanya. I stared hard at him at saka ko lamang
napansin.

"Mas lalong dumami ang puti sa buhok mo..." It almost came out as a whisper. He
stopped pouring coffe
and touched his hair.

"Don't mind it, baby. I got myself a new haircolor that's why," he pouted and
pointed on his head.
Ngumiti siya sa akin at pinaghila ako ng upuan. "Umupo ka muna, baby."

I smiled and appreciated his simple gesture of pulling me a chair. I reached for a
cup of coffee and took a
sip. The warmness of the coffee brought comfort to be.

***

Magaan ang pakiramdam ko nang pumasok ako kinabukasan. I want to meet Semper
tomorrow at lunch
sa school. I have so much to catch up with him. Kung pwede pa nga, um-absent na
lang ako upang
makasama siya pero hindi pwede. I promised myself I won't let him go this time.

Kalalabas ko lang sa klase ko at nakangiting naglalakad ako sa pasilyo. My thoughts

wandered to the
times where Semper's presence was the most annoying thing ever.

My thoughts were interrupted when someone snapped in front of me. It was the
colored wax stick.

"Nasa cloud 9 ka?" He asked. I frowned upon seeing his masked face.

"Ikaw, ba't wala ka pa sa ospital?" I said, showing my annoyed emotions. He just

interrupted my happy
3/10
"Ikaw, ba't wala ka pa sa ospital?" I said, showing my annoyed emotions. He just
interrupted my happy
thoughts.

He laughed like I said so funny. "Lunch tayo?"

"Kailan ka pa ba kumain kasama namin?" I asked.

"I always go with you," sagot niya.

"Pero hindi ka kumain kasi hindi mo matanggal-tanggal iyang mask mo. Malala ka na
sigurong Virus ka."

He laughed again at ginulo ang buhok ko. Tinabig ko ang kamay niya at mas lalo
lamang siyang natuwa.
Nakalaklak ba siya ng sangkaterbang enervon?

"You looked happy," pag-iiba niya sa usapan.

"Yes, until you appeared," wika ko. I was really happy reminiscing the moments with
Semper. Last night
we watched a movie and I slept on his lap. Hinatid niya ako sa bahay kaninang
madaling araw and made
sure that no one was awake to find me slipping back to the house.

"Aw, really I have that effect?"

I cringed. "It's not something to be proud of," wika ko. Nilingon ko ang paligid
pero hindi ko makita ang
hinahanap ko. "Where's Nikki?"

"Eh? I approached you to ask the same thing. Nag-absent siya sa klase namin eh,"
wika niya. "You're the
bestfriend, you should nowhere she is."

"See? I'm the bestfriend, not her GPS device to know wherever she is," pabalang na
sagot ko kay Crayon.
"Diyan ka na nga."

Before I took few steps, he was able to get a grip on my hand. "Hep, saan ka
pupunta?"

"I'm meeting someone for lunch," sagot ko.

4/10
I saw his eyes became chinky. "At sino naman iyon?"

"My boyfriend," sagot ko. Bigla na lamang siyang natawa. Did I say something funny?
"What?"

"Ows, ikaw may boyfriend? Sa mukhang 'yan nagka-boyfriend ka?"

Napalabi ako at tinangkang suntukin siya pero agad siyang nakaiwas. "Shut up."

He looked amused knowing how annoyed I am right now. "Seriously, Lila, anong gamit
mong gayuma?"

"Get lost, Crayola."

Muli siyang tumawa bago nag-wave nang lumayo na siya. I took the other way at
dumiretso sa
computer laboratory. Kalalabas lang din ng mga nagka-klase roon kung kaya't pumasok
ako at hinanap
si Semper. Hindi ko siya mahanap roon kaya pumunta ako sa kabilang dako. Still
there was no sign of
him.

Nahagip ng mga mata ko ang huling propesor na naroon kung kaya't nagmamadali akong
lumapit.

"Sir, excuse me. Nakita niyo po ba 'yong laboratory staff? 'Yong bago lang ho?"

The professor's brows met na tila ba may inalala siya. His face cleared when he
remembered. "Ah, you
mean si Semper."

Ngumit ako. "Opo, sir."

"That boy really attracts a lot of girls," tila naaaliw niyang wika samantalang
halos umusok na ang ilong
ko sa narinig. "I guess he's absent today."

"Absent?"

"Yes," sagot niya at nagpaalam na aalis na.

Tila pinagsakluban ako ng langit at lupa. He's absent? Bakit hindi niya iyon sinabi
sa akin? We spent so
much time together last night, right?

Disappointed with his absence, I left the lab with a heavy heart. Absent na nga si
Nikki, wala pa si

5/10
Disappointed with his absence, I left the lab with a heavy heart. Absent na nga si
Nikki, wala pa si
Semper. I let out a sigh realizing my situation. Pagkatapos ay bigla kong naalala
si Crayon. Right, the
Virus!

I fished my phone from my pocket and dialed his number. It took three rings before
he picked it up.

"Sorry, you don't have enough balance to make this call. Please reload
immediately," narinig kong wika
ni Crayon.

I made a face. "Not funny."

"Did you miss me?" Tanong niya. I can imagine his playful eyes right now.

"You wish. Nasaan ka?"

"Nasa damit ko," sagot niya. I bit my lip to prevent from swearing. Nakarinig ako
ng tunog ng busina ng
kotse.

"Wait, you're driving while answering this call?" Aba, matigas talaga ang ulo ng
Crayolang ito! Paano na
lamang kung madisgrasya siya.

"I'm a multitasker, remember?"

I mentally cringed. "Get back here."

"Oh, why is that?" Tanong niya.

Sasabihin ko bang mag-isa ako? That my so-called boyfriend is absent, and I wasn't
informed? Am I
willing to take whatever he thinks about this situation?

"Wag na nga lang," wika ko at akmang papatayin ang tawag but then I heard him
answered.

"I'll be there in three minutes," sagot niya.

Matapos patayin ang tawag ay ibinalik ko sa bulsa ang cellphone ko. Lumabas ako ng
campus at saktong
paglabas ko ay dumating ang sasakyan ni Crayon. Binuksan niya ang pinto ng sasakyan
ngunit hindi man
lamang nag-abalang lumabas ng kotse.

6/10
Umupo ako at ikinabit ang seatbelt ko. He looked at my every action and waited for
me to calm down.
Marahil ay napansin niya ang kakaibang mood ko. Yup, I'm pissed. I'm very pissed
right now.

I breathed heavily. Bumilang ako hanggang lima at nang hindi pa rin niya
pinapaandar ang sasakyan ay
napatingin ako sa kanya.

"What? Titingnan mo lang ba ako?" I mouthed.

"Hindi ka katingin-tingin," he said and started the engine.

"Wow, thanks," I said with sarcasm.

"Where are we going?" Tanong niya.

Tumingin ako sa labas ng bintana at isinandal ang ulo ko. "Anywhere but lunch."

"Oh, why?"

"Bakit, 'pag ba magla-lunch tayo, kakain ka?" I blurted out. He slowly nodded his
head. Ewan ko anong
problema niya bakit ba suot nang suot siya ng mask.

"Good point. Let's go to the hospital then."

Hindi na ako nagprotesta pa. I'm not hungry and the thought that Semper took an
absence without
informing me even made rebel and eating is the last thing I want to do.

Nagmaneho lang siya hanggang sa huminto kami sa tapat ng ospital. Nang bumaba siya
ay binuksan
niya ang backseat at saka ko lamang napansin na may bulaklak pala roon.

"Anong gagawin natin dito? Magpapagamot ka sa virus mo?" I asked without any hint
of being funny.
Like I said, I'm pissed.

"Come on De Lima, you're being a brat. Did your so-called boyfriend didn't show
up?" He asked and he
just said it right. Damn.
7/10
"Whatever."

Nilagpasan ko siya at naunang pumasok sa hospital. I used to hate the hospital but
now I don't care if I
will stay here long enough. Huminto ako sa paglalakad at sumunod kay Crayon na sa
kabilang bahagi
lumiko. We went to the part of the hospital where there were private rooms.

Binuksan niya ang isang pinto at sakto namang lumabas doon ang isang nurse.

"Crayon!"

"Hello Nurse Lim, si Mary po?" magalang na tanong niya sa nurse.

"Nasa park, kalalabas lang upang lumanghap ng hangin." The nurse smiled at him bago
nagpaalam.

Pumunta siya sa park at sumunod naman ako, maintaining a considerable distant.

Hinanap ng mga mata
niya ang kanyang pakay. His eyes fixed to a very thin girl who was sitting on the
bench. Malungkot ang
payat nitong mukha. Her body was so pale and thin.

Tila naramdaman nito na may nakatingin sa kanya kung kaya't nag-angat siya ng
tingin. Her eyes met
Crayon's at agad siyang napatayo at sinalubong ito ng yakap.

"Cray!" She threw herself and hugged him tightly like her life depends on him. Isa
ito sa rason kung bakit
ayoko sa ospital. Dramatic scenes. The girl started weeping so Crayon pulled her
and wiped away her
tears.

I saw Crayon removed his mask ngunit hindi ko pa rin nakita ang mukha niya dahil
nakatalikod siya sa
akin. Mary looked at him dreamily.

"What? Bakit lalo kang gumagwapo sa araw-araw?" She moves a little and separated
herself from him.
"Nahihiya tuloy ako. Look at me, halos buto't-balat na."

Crayon put back his mask. Iniabot niya si Mary at niyakap ito. "You're still the
prettiest to me." He gave
her the flowers and Mary almost shouted in glee.

Hinawakan niya ang mga bulaklak at inamoy iyon. Nagsimula na naman siyang umiyak at
nataranta si
Crayon kung paano ito patahanin.

"Stop crying love, shhh."

8/10
My heart softened seeing them. Crayon is a jerk and happy-go-lucky at times pero
hindi ko inaasahang
mayroon siyang ganitong side. He's completely a sheep in front of Mary.

Bahagyang kumalma si Mary at nang mag-angat siya ng tingin ay nagtagpo ang mga mata
namin. She
smiled at me kaya gumanti rin ako ng ngiti.

"You know that girl, Cray?" Tanong niya. Virus turned to me at pagkatapos ay
hinawakan ang kamay ni
Mary at lumapit sa akin.

"Mary, si Violet, a friend. Her boyfriend ditched her so I tagged her along,"
pakilala ni Crayon. I reminded
myself to hit him later. The ditching part in the introductuon is not necessary,
this damn colored wax!

Lumapit si Mary sa akin at hinawakan ang kamay ko. Matamis ang ngiti niya sa akin.
"Hi Violet! You're
named after a color, too?" Tumawa siya at nagpakilala. "My name's Maroon Yana
Torralba, Mary for
short." Bumaling siya kay Crayon. "Lapitin ka talaga ng mga kulay Cray."

Gumanti ako ng ngiti kay Mary. "Violet Dizon," pakilala ko.

"Bakit ang ganda-ganda mo, Violet?" She asked looking at me like she really meant
her words. Hindi pa
ako nasasabihan ng ang 'ganda-ganda' ko at pagkatapos ay titignan na para bang
totoo nga iyon. Only
Mary did. Oh, my Mom too.

"T-thanks." I forced a smile.

"She's very pretty, Cray. Bagay kayo," wika niya. Damn, how could this girl sound
so pure?

"Mary!" Sabay naming bulalas ni Crayon. The latter looked at me with a creased
forehead.

"Pag si Violet, lugi naman yata ako," wika niya. Mary laughed samantalang umusok
naman ako. Crayon
really knew how to boil my blood.

He took a few steps forward and caught Mary into a warm embrace. "And why are you
saying that? Don't
you love me anymore?"

Biglang nanlisik ang mga mata ni Mary. Marahas na tinulak niya si Crayon at
nagsimulang magsisigaw.
Bahagya akong napatda. Nagsimulang magwala si Mary at pinagtatanggal ang tubo ng
dextrose na
nakakabit sa kanya. Her hands bleed as she removed the needles. Agad naman
rumesponde ang nurse
na nagbabantay sa kanya.
9/10
"Umalis ka sa harap ko! Hindi kita kilala! Nurse, tulong!" She began to panic at
halos mangatal na. Hinila
siya ng nurse palayo kay Crayon samantalang walang nagawa ang huli kundi tignan ito
habang
nagwawala.

Crayon looked at her worriedly. Hindi niya magawang sumunod dahil tiyak na mas lalo
lamang
magwawala si Mary. Saka lamang niya ito iniwan ng tingin nang tuluyan itong maglaho
sa paningin niya.

"Crayon? Ayos ka lang?" Tanong ko sa kanya habang nakayuko siya sa semento,

watching the petals of
the flowers he brought scattered on the ground.

He looked at me and nodded. "Let's go," wika niya at naunang lumakad.

Tahimik na sumunod lamang ako sa kanya at naghintay na paandarin niya ang sasakyan
nang
makapasok kami. Nakahawak ang kamay niya sa manibela at mahinang tinatapik iyon
habang nahulog
siya sa malalim na pag-iisip. I didn't dare speak hanggang sa siya na ang unang
bumasag sa
katahimikan.

"Mary is suffering from early-onset Alzheimer's. It's a very rare case that's why
it's fucking too early when
it usually happens at the age of 40-50. And she's just 22! She's also diagnosed
with familial Cerebral
Amyloid Angiopathy that worsen her case. It's the worst of worse that it drove her
crazy." He paused for
a while.

Tahimik na hiniling ko na sana ay nakikita ko ang mukha niya ngayon. Now I

understand why he always
wore a mask. He's always sad and the mask is his only way of hiding his emotions.
He doesn't want
anyone see him crawl back and breakdown at moments like this. He cannot just
plaster a smile on his
face and be fake happy, so masking is his feasible solution. No need to project
fake emotions.

"Mas lalong lumala ang pakiramdam niya dahil masyado niya iyong dinidibdib.
Depression is swallowing
her whole." Crayon's voice cracked. "And what's sad is that I cannot do anything
for her. She's suffering
physical, emotional and mental pain at wala man lamang akong magawa. I'm not even
strong for the
both of us."

Tears fell from his eyes. For the first time, I saw a different side of Crayon
Alarcon.

10/10
CHAPTER 40: SPLASH
wattpad.com/553427324-as-you-lie-awake-chapter-40-splash/page/4

Chapter 40: Splash

I somehow managed my anger mula kanina. How could I be pissed that much when I only
have a little
problem? Baka nakaligtaan lang sabihin sa akin ni Semper. Hindi ko rin nahingi ang
number ng isa't-isa
kaya malabong makapagtext kami.

Compared to Crayon, my problem is just so little. And speaking of that colored wax
stick, hindi ko siya
nakumusta mula nang makauwi kami. I reached for my phone on my bedside and texted
his number.

Crayon?
8:48 p.m.

Stitch
Whut?
8:48 p.m.

Missed me?
8:48 p.m.

I rolled my eyes when I read his reply. Minsan talaga ay napakaepal ng lalaking
ito.

Never.
8:49 p.m.

Stitch
aw
8:49 p.m.
1/13
Nyt.
8:50 p.m.

Stitch
wanna hang out?
8:50 p.m.

at this hour?
8:51 p.m.

Stitch
do you want to
hangout at 3 in
the morning then?
8:51 p.m.

no tnx
8:51 p.m.

Stitch
come on De Lima
im so lonely rn
8:52 p.m.

Hindi na ako nagreply pa at inilapag na lamang ang cellphone ko sa tabi ko. My mind
wandered to
Semper. Hanggang ngayon ay hindi ko pa rin alam kung nasaan siya. Hindi naman
siguro siya
napahamak hindi ba? My thoughts were interrupted with the vibration of my phone.

Stitch
De Lima
8:54 p.m.

im about to
cry

2/13
cry
8:55 p.m.

no one luvs me
8:55 p.m.

yoko na
8:56 p.m.

ayaw mo ba
talaga akong
samahan?
8:56 p.m.

ayoko na
mabuhay
8:56 p.m.

sino nga ba
ako para samahan
mo?
8:57 p.m.

isa lng naman

akong gwapong
nilalang na di
mo deserve
8:57 p.m.

huhuhu
8:57 p.m.

lonely is the
nyt
8:57 p.m.
3/13
wen im not
wid u
8:58 p.m.

wanna drink
8:58 p.m.

but
8:58 p.m.

cant drink
8:58 p.m.

if drinking is
without u
8:58 p.m.

cant drink
cant drink
anymore
8:59 p.m.

Stop flooding me
with messages
9:00 p.m.

Stitch
flood messages
9:00 p.m.

flood messages
9:00 p.m.

4/13
flood messages
9:00 p.m.

flood messages
9:01 p.m.

flood messages
9:01 p.m.

flood messages
9:01 p.m.

flood messages
9:02 p.m.

flood messages
9:02 p.m.

UR ANNOYING
9:02 p.m.

Stitch
yes i am

awesome
9:02 p.m.

lezzgo
9:02 p.m.

5/13
You'll also like

i'll pick u up
9:03 p.m.

babatuhin ko
ang bahay nyo
pag di ka sumama
9:03 p.m.

u can't do that!
9:04 p.m.

Stitch
Uh. watch me
9:04 p.m.

Crayon!
9:04 p.m.

Stitch
Whip
9:05 p.m.

what?
9:05 p.m.

Stitch
Watch me
nae nae
9:05 p.m.

ur crazy?
9:06 p.m.

Stitch
watch me
whip whip

6/13
whip whip
watch me
nae nae
9:07 p.m.

i'll be there in
fifteen
9:07 p.m.

Argh! I tossed my phone in frustration. I don't feel like going out pero mapilit si
Crayon. Bigla kong naisip
si Semper.

What if he's somewhere clubbing, too? Bigla akong nagnais na makaganti sa kanya. I
want to play even.
Kung hindi niya sinasabi sa akin ang mga lakad niya, why can't I do the same? Isn't
it fair enough?

Nag-ipon ako ng lakas na loob upang magpaalam sa mga magulang ko. They didn't
object but they kept
on telling me to be responsible. My parents probably think I have the worst social
life that's why they're
allowing me to go on night outs. Panay rin ang habilin nila na 'drink moderately'
gayong hindi naman ako
iinom.

Exactly fifteen minutes when I heard a car honked outside our house. Nagmamadaling
lumabas ako at
naroon na nga ang sasakyan ni Virus. Sinadya kong bagalan ang paglalakad at nang sa
ganoon mainis
siya. And I succeeded.

"Sorry to tell you but this is no red-carpet kaya bilis-bilisan mo ang paglalakad,"
wika niya ang
sumungaw ang ulo niya mula sa kotse. He watched me until I reached his car.

Nang makapasok ako sa loob ay napansin ko ang ilang bato na na nasa dashboard.
"What are these?"

"Oh, even a preschooler knows that it's rocks De Lima," wika niya sa akin habang
umaatras.

"This is why I don't wanna be here," I said dryly. "Balak mo ba talagang batuhin
ang bahay namin?"

He shrugged. "If that's what it takes to make you come down your castle Princess,
yes I will."

"Huh!" I puffed some air. "Tingnan natin kung makakabalik ka pa sa bahay if you do
so."

He giggled. "Gladly I didn't kaya makakabalik pa ako."

Bumuntong-hinga ako at sumilip sa labas ng kotse. Muling bumalik ang isipan ko kay
Semper. Hindi ko
7/13
napapansin na malalaking buntong-hininga na pala ang pinapakawalan ko.

"Problems?" Untag niya sa akin.

Tiningnan ko siya ng matiim bago nagsalita. "Paano nagkakaroon ng kotse ang isang
lalaki?"

"Easy. There are 2 ways. One is he acquired it legally, and the other is he
acquired it illegally."

Napakunot ang noo ko habang iniisip ang sinabi niya. "Meaning?"

"If he acquired it legally, there could be lots of ways. Binili niya, gift or
raffle winning. Just like mine, this
is a gift from my parents."

Tinapunan ko siya ng masamang tingin. "Hindi ko naman tinatanong."

Itinaas niya ang isang kamay to show me his finger while his other hand was on the
steering wheel.
"Second is he acquired it illegally. Carjacking, fraud, gambling with cars as bet
and others," wika niya.
"And speaking of illegal, want to do something illegal tonight?"

Kumuha ako ng maliit na bato na nasa dashboard at tinapon iyon sa kanya. "Are you
nuts? Illegal nga, 'di
ba, ba't gagawin mo?"

"Aray ha! Pasalamat ka nagmamaneho ako. Lila, it's not illegal until you're
caught!" Sagot niya.

"Ayoko!"

"Ayaw mo?"

"A.yo.ko."

"Oh, ah I get it, Reverse psychology," natatawang wika niya bago binilisan ang
pagpapatakbo. What?!!
Hindi na lamang ako nakapalag pa dahil pinasok niya ang sasakyan sa isang estate.
After showing the
guard an ID which God-knows-where-he-got, nakapasok na kami sa loob ng estate.

8/13
We passed few huge houses until we stopped in front of a big busy house. May mga
tao roon na
nagkakasiyahan sa napakalaking bahay.

"Nasaan tayo?" Tanong ko, not bothering to remove my seatbelt.

"Nasa damit natin," Crayon replied and chuckled. Kinuha rin niya ang mga batong
nasa dashboard bago
ko pa man iyon maibato sa kanya.

"Seriously, nasaan tayo?"

"Mickey Mouse Club House," sagot niya. I heard a clicking sound, which was his
seatbelt.

"Not funny," I said dryly.

"Not trying to be," he replied. He gently turned my face outside kung saan may
karatulang nakasulat na
'Mickey Mouse Club House'.

"A friend of mine is a member here. He used to hanggang sa nagmigrate na sila.

Binigay niya sa akin ang
membership ID niya na nakapangalan sa kanya just in case I want to do something to
spice up my
goodboy life," Crayon said.

"So we're really here, ILLEGALLY?" Nanlalaki ang mga matang tanong ko.

"You could say that."

Kinapa ko ang dibdib ko. I never did anything illegal in my life— oh, sometimes
jaywalking but anything
serious than that, none. Kapag nahuli kami, God, I don't know what to do.

"Come on, De Lima," wika niya at binuksan ang pinto at tinangkang lumabas. He
stopped when he
noticed that I held tighter to my seatbelt. "Easily chickened?"

"Huwag mo nga akong idamay diyan sa epekto ng impeksyon sa utak mo!"

He laughed before he got out of the car. Umikot siya sa kabilang bahagi ng sasskyan
at binuksan ang
pinto sa gilid ko. His face is now near me.

"Tara na."

9/13
"Ayaw."

"We're not going to kill someone Good Girl, we're here to have fun and make use of
the clubhouse
amenities," Crayon said.

I shut my ears so that I cannot hear his blabbering. Ngayong nakabukas ang pinto ay
mas naririnig ko
ang ingay ng musika na mula sa clubhouse. I noticed girls in skimpy dresses with
glasses on their hands
around the area.

"Lila."

I crossed my arms at looked at him. "Tell me, what are the amenities here?"

"Party. Drinks. Indoor and outdoor pool. Private rooms. We can go to a private room
if you want."

Siniko ko ang dibdib niya at agad naman siyang nakaiwas. "You pig!"

Tumawa siya. "Just kidding. Ikaw lang talaga ang baboy mag-isip. Mayroon ding
massage room. Minigym and a underground casino."

Well, the amenities are not that bad. Pero natatakot pa rin ako sa isiping baka
mahuli kami.

"And where should we be?" Tanong ko.

"I said private room—"

My hand land in front of his masked face, crumpling it a little. He laughed and
removed my hand.

"Paraparaan ka ha, sabihin mo lang kung gusto mong makita ang mukha ko," he said.
Heck, what?

"I really admire your confidence," nakangiwing sagot ko. Crayon just laugh like he
always does.

"How about the outdoor pool? We're least likely to get caught kapag nasa outdoor
pool tayo dahil
kadalasan sa mga tao ay nasa loob," wika ni Crayon.
10/13
I sighed and tossed my things including my phone on the dashboard. Bumaba ako ng
sasakyan at
sumunod kay Crayon na naglalakad patungo sa likurang bahagi ng clubhouse.

"M-I-C-K-E-Y M-O-U-S-E," he keeps on chanting. Bahagya ko siyang tinulak at

tiningnan niya ako ng
masama.

"What?" he mouthed.

"Stop chanting. You're ruining my childhood," wika ko sa kanya.

He just laughed and pulled my hand. Ilang sandali lamang ay nasa bahagi na kami ng
clubhouse kung
saan nakaparada ang mga sasakyan. A particular car caught my attention.

Posible bang...

No. That's not possible. Hindi naman unique ang mga sasakyan, malamang may mga
sasakyang
magkatulad. Another is that I am not sure if Semper owned the car that I saw in his
garage. I checked the
plate number of the car. 107 samantalang hindi ko nakita kung ano ang plate number
ng sasakyan sa
garahe ni Semper.

Hindi ko na lamang pinansin ang sasakyan at sumunod kay Crayon na hindi pa rin
tinitigilan ang pagchachant ng Mickey Mouse Club House. Tsk, bakit ba kasi ganito
ang pinangalan ng may-ari sa clubhouse na
ito?!

Hindi na namin masyadong naririnig ang ingay ng tugtog nang nasa likod na kami. The
pool was
rectangular-shaped and very huge. Tila nang-iimbita ang tubig. At gaya ng sinabi ni
Crayon, wala ngang
tao roon. Suddenly, I hear a splashed on the water.

Nag-dive na pala roon si Crayon. His clothes were on the side of the pool. What?
Pati ba naman sa pool ay
naka-mask siya?!

"Dive now, De Lima."

"Really? Pati diyan magma-mask ka?" Tanong ko sa kanya.

He swam near the edge where I was standing. To my surprise, he removed the mask at
itinaas iyon pero
nilubog naman niya ang kalahati ng mukha niya sa tubig. Wow.
11/13
Tumalikod siya sa akin at tumawa. He's still holding his mask habang nakatalikod
kaya sinamantala ko
ang pagkakataon upang hubarin ang damit ko. Iniwan ko ang suot na bikini bra at
itim na cycling shorts.
I tossed my heels on the side and dived into the water.

I shivered when I felt the cold water hugged my body. It feels so refreshing.
Crayon swam to the other
end of the pool. Hindi niya suot ang mask niya ngunit hindi ko rin maaninag ang
mukha niya dahil hindi
naman ganoon kaliwanag doon.

"What are you doing?" tanong ko nang makitang mas lalo pa siyang lumalayo sa akin.

"Keeping a distance."

"Why?"

"You might see my face."

"Tss, ewan ko sa'yo!" Lumangoy ako at dinama ang lamig ng tubig. I floated on the
water and a bright
idea came to my mind. How about teasing Crayon to show his face?

Lumangoy ako at nang umahon ako ay nasa tapat na niya ako. He was surprised for a
while but he
immediately submerged his face in the water at tumalikod. Nang humarap siya ay suot
na niya ang
kanyang mask.

"What are you doing?" Tanong niya. His eyes were somewhat dark.

"Trying to peek on your face," natatawang sagot ko. My body shivered when a cold
breeze passed.

"Try again, De Lima," sagot niya.

So, I did. I kicked my feet under the water and flailed my arms to swam nearer.
Lumubog ako sa tubig at
nang umahon ako ay nasa harap na ako ni Crayon, my back was almost pressed against
the pool wall.

"W-what are you doing, Dizon?" He asked again. I was surprised to hear him called
me Dizon instead of
Lila or De Lima.

"Trying again?" Nakangiting wika ko. Saka ko lang napansin na naging seryoso na ang
kanyang mga
mata. My eyes feel on his broad shoulders that came to my view dahil nakalubog sa
tubig ang kanyang
katawan. I suddenly swallowed hard and I don't know why.
12/13
Nang ibinalik ko ang tingin sa mukha niya ay nagtagpo ang mga mata namin. He moved
a little towards
me, one arm bracing in the edge of the pool, beside me and the other hand brushed
his wet hair.

Hindi ko alam kung bakit bigla akong kinabahan. Not the usual nervousness but it
was different at hindi
ko alam kung bakit.

"C-come on Crayon, remove your m-mask," wika ko upang kahit papaano ay maibsan ang
kaba ko lalo
na at mumunti lamang ang espasyo sa pagitan namin.

"Are you willing to take responsibilities?" Tanong niya.

Hindi ko maintindihan ang kanyang sinabi. I just stared at his eyes, unconsciously
biting my lip. Bumaba
ang tingin niya sa labi ko. And to my surprise, his free hand removed his mask! His
face went down to
mine and I felt our lips touched!

I didn't do anything. Hindi ko siya tinulak at hindi ko rin inilayo ang mukha ko.
Crayon closed his eyes
before his lips moved passionately on mine. I felt my knees wobble and I was glad
that there's the cold
wall behind me.

Para bang may sariling utak ang mga talukap ko, bigla na lamang iyong sumara as I
felt Crayon's lips. It
was intoxicating especially that his kisses were slow and gentle. I was close to
responding nang bigla na
lamang pumasok sa isipan ko si Semper.

Para akong nabuhusan ng purong yelo. Agad kong naitulak si Crayon at bahagya siyang
nagulat. Ngayon
ay nakamata kami sa isa't-isa.

Now that I clearly see his face, hindi maipagkakailang tama si Mary. Crayon is so
handsome. I looked
away and started swimming.

"S-sorry," narinig kong wika niya bago ako tuluyang umahon.

13/13
CHAPTER 41: APOLOGY
wattpad.com/554296825-as-you-lie-awake-chapter-41-apology/page/4

Chapter 41: Apology

I was amazed how I was able to walk to the area where I left my clothes. I didn't
bother to wear it and my
heels at sa halip ay naka-paa lang ako at binitbit ang mga iyon. I'm afraid I might
fall any time since my
legs are not really that strong after what happened.

Did Crayon just kiss me? And am I really close to responding him? Bigla akong
kinain ng guilt. It's just
recently that I remembered Semper ngunit ngayon ay nagkasala ako. God, I'm such an
infidel girlfriendwait.

Am I Semper's girlfriend?

Yeah, we kissed but it doesn't mean that we're in a relationship. He didn't ask and
we really didn't talk
about it. Accounting's basic rule? Never assume unless otherwise stated.

Kinagat ko ang pang-ibabang labi ko. That was wrong! Very wrong! And it's a mistake
and it shouldn't
happen again! Crayon has Mary and I have Semper. We're just - argh. Basta! Hindi
iyon dapat nangyari
at hinding-hindi na iyon mangyayari!

Niyakap ko ang sarili ko at nagmamadaling tinahak ang daan pabalik kung saan
nakaparada ang kotse ni
Crayon. I told myself na kailangang maging normal lang ang lahat sa pagitan naming
dalawa. I will act
like nothing happened. Oh, nothing happened. Crayon and I will remain as is.

Napatigil ako nang may lalaki at babaeng magkaakbay na dumaan sa makitid na daan.
They both looked
drunk dahil pasuray-suray ang lakad nilang dalawa.

"Hey, you're drunk that much?" Narinig kong wika ng babae. I cannot see their faces
dahil medyo may
kadiliman doon.

1/9
kadiliman doon.

"No, just a bit dizzy. I can still win one game," sagot ng lalaki. My heart almost
skips a beat. Pamilyar ang
boses na iyon. Really familiar.

"Good."

To my surprise, the girl grabbed the guy's collar and crashed their lips. Agad
akong nag-iwas ng tingin
kahit pa hindi ko naman masyadong naaaninag ang paglalaplapan nila. Before I looked
away, I was able
to see the guy grabbed the girl's behind. Then I heard a giggle from the girl.

"Let's get inside," wika niya at hinila ang lalaki papunta sa entrance ng club
house.

When the area was clear ay nagpatuloy ako sa paglalakad ngunit bago ko tuluyang
marating ang
sasakyan ni Crayon, I took a glance at the familiar car.

Sunod kong sinulyapan ng tingin ang couple na kapapasok lamang sa pinto. My eyes
caught a familiar
back in black shirt and black jeans. I felt my body heated at a different level.

Hindi. Imposible ang iniisip ko. But. Hindi imposible ang iniisip ko. Am I making
any sense?

I watched the water dripping down my body. My eyes could see wrong but my feelings
don't. And it's
telling me that it's him. It's Semper.

Did he ditch work to be here all day? And who's that girl by the way? Naramdaman ko
ang panginginit ng
mga mata ko. My chest tightened. This pain is familiar.

Sa halip na dumeretso sa sasakyan ni Crayon ay tinahak ko ang daan papasok sa club

house. I don't care
if I'm dripping wet in my black cycling shorts and bikini bra. Wala akong pakialam.
What matters for now
is that I will know if it's Semper or not.

2/9
Pumasok ako sa club house at napatingin ang mga nasa lounge sa akin. I heard
whistles but that's least
of my concern now. I wanted to see Semper and if ever he's here, I want to drag him
outside.

I passed the huge hall and took the stairs down. The area was covered with smoke
and different lights
illuminated the place. An underground. Security stood on the door and was about to
meet me but I ran
and pushed the door to get inside.

Pagbukas ko ay napakalaking silid iyon na pasugalan. There were tables everywhere

with different
gambling activities. Bago pa man ako mahuli ng security ay nagmamadaling nilibot ko
na ang silid, not
minding everyone's attention on me. May mga nakatabing na kurtina at binuksan ko
iyon and I found
some making out!

I immediately closed the curtains and opened the next one but failed to see my
target. Binuksan ko ang
iba pang kurtina at biglang napatigil ako nang makita si Semper. He was holding
poker chips and cards.
Sa tabi niya ay may nakasinding sigarilyo na nakapatong sa ashtry. And speaking of
nakapatong, a
whore is on his lap!

I dropped my heels. If I wasn't able to hold myself, I would drop my body on the
floor. Nanginig ang
kalamnan ko. My eyes began to tear up ngunit mas nanaig ang galit ko. Semper's head
whipped up, and
his blank eyes stared at me.

He was surprised and above all, displeased. He stared at me for seconds na para
bang tinitiyak kong
tama ang nakikita niya and I started to become weak.

His eyes started to get onto me. Those black gems always suck me into somewhere.
May mali yata sa
akin dahil tila biglang bumaligtad ang sikmura ko. I was hurt by this sight. Is
this really Semper? I mean
MY SEMPER?

He pushed away the hoe on his lap at pagkatapos ay tumayo. Wala akong pakialam kung
ano ang
sinasabi ng ibang naroon. I felt someone grabbed my arm and it was the security.

"Miss, ipakita mo sa amin ang membership card mo," anang lalaki.

Iwinaksi ko ang kamay nitong nakahawak sa akin. Biglang napalitan ng galit ang
emosyong nasa dibdib
ko. Actually, there are a lot of emotions swirling in me put pain and anger tops it
all.

Semper looked drunk but when he confirmed it was me, tila nahimasmasan siya.

3/9
Semper looked drunk but when he confirmed it was me, tila nahimasmasan siya.

"Baby-"

Ayokong marinig ang mga sasabihin niya. I might hold into it and believe him. How
dare him call me
baby after this! Muling tinangka ng guard na hawakan ako ngunit muli kong iwinaksi
ang kamay niya.

I took the liberty to leave, why am I here in the first place? Tinakbo ko ang daan
palabas and I heard
Semper calling my name. Ayaw kong marinig ang pagtawag niyang iyon. I might fall
for it and forgive
him right away.

Nakalabas ako ng club house at pagdating ko sa sasakyan ni Crayon ay naroon na

siya. Pumasok ako sa
loob at isinara ang pinto.

I started crying like a child. Hindi lang basta iyak kundi hagulhol ang ginawa ko.
Tinakpan ko ang mukha
ko gamit ang dalawang palad ko at patuloy lang na umiyak.

"Lila..."

"Let's go. Please?"

Bumuntong hininga siya at kapagkuway iniabot sa akin ang isang body towel. Hindi
ako nag-abalang
abutin iyon but I felt him lean on me a little closer at ibinalabal sa akin ang
tuwalya. Mas lalo lamang
akong naiyak.

Crayon didn't ask me why. He just started the engine and drove away the place.
Hindi ko alam kung
gaano katagal na akong umiiyak. All I know is that the car come to stop and my face
was still in my
palm, hiding myself and crying.

I looked around and noticed we're in front of our house. Crayon looked at me and
smiled worrily. Yep,
he's not wearing his mask.

"Will you be fine?" Nag-aalalang tanong niya.

"I will be," I assured him. The right answer in my mind was that it should be 'I
hope I will be'.

Naging seryoso ang mukha niya. He sighed heavily before he shot a question. "If
this is about what
happened between us-"

4/9
I cut him off. "Rest assured that this isn't about us."

"I see."

"Thank you, Crayon," wika ko sa kanya at binuksan ang pinto ng kotse niya. He
handed me my purse and
phone na kinuha niya mula sa dashboard kung saan ko iyon iniwan kanina. Bumaba ako
at niyakap ang
sarili kong nababalot pa rin ng tuwalya. I don't know where my clothes and heels
are. And it's not my
concern now.

Crayon watched me hanggang sa makapasok ako sa loob ng bahay. It's a good thing
that Mom and Dad
aren't on the living room now. I heard a car engine revved, a signal that Crayon
just left.

Dumiretso ako sa kwarto ko at nagbihis. My mind and body is too tired to take
another shower kaya
nagbihis na lamang agad ako. My tearducts are tired. I guess it reached its maximum
capacity just for
tonight. Masakit pa rin ang dibdib ko.

Wala siya buong araw dahil naroon siya at nakikipaglandian sa kung sino. Naroon
siya at nagsusugal.
Kapag naiisip ko iyon ay mas lalo lamang sumisikip ang dibdib ko. I don't have any
heart disease but I
think I'm about to have a heart attack.

Humiga ako sa kama at paulit-ulit na nagplay sa isipan ko ang halikan ni Semper at

ng babae kanina.
This is way too much to bear than what I experienced with Daven. Masakit.
Napakasakit sa pakiramdam
na para bang ang dibdib ko ay hinihiwa ng pinung-pino at pinigaan ng calamansi. Why
does it hurts so
much?

I tried dealing with the pain until I got too tired of feeling it and brought
myself to sleep.

Nagising ako nang maramdamang may gumalaw sa tabi ko. I lazily opened my eyes and
found someone
sitting beside me on my bed. My initial reaction was to shout but something got
stuck in my throat when
I realized who it was. He was holding my hand and played with my fingers.

"Semper," I gasped. I pulled my hands from him and pulled my sheets up to my body.
Binuksan niya ang
lampshade sa gilid ko at hinawakan ang pisngi ko. His thumb caressed my skin below
the eyes.

"I'm sorry, baby," he said in a very sorry voice. Na para bang nasasaktan siya. If
he keeps on saying it on
that tone, I might forgive him right away.
5/9
Hindi ako sumagot. I stayed still and felt the moment. Is this real or a dream? Am
I lying awake right now
or not?

"Baby."

He sounded hurt. Why should he? Ako ang nasaktan sa aming dalawa! Sinaktan niya
ako! I repeat,
sinaktan niya ako!

"Baby, talk to me please."

God, I really need self-control. Please give me some. I might forgive him right
away. And I don't want
that. Siguro naman may karapatan akong mag-inarte hindi ba? I was hurt. Too much
pain. It's too much
for me to handle.

Hinawakan niya ang mukha kong nakatagilid at pilit na hinarap sa kanya. "Baby,
please?"

Hinarap ko siya, refusing to stare at his eyes or I might get drown. "I thought
you're the angel of
faithfulness?"

He sighed. "I was."

Binalot ako ng poot. "Don't give me that excuse. There's no excuse for infidelity.
It's a choice Semper,
not a coincidence."

Hinuli niya ang kamay ko at kinulong iyon sa kanyang kamay. He made my hand touch
his face at
nakapikit na dinama niya iyon.

"Baby, this is not an excuse but an apology. I'm sorry," sinserong wika niya. The
heck, why does it hurt
even more? Bakit tila gusto ko pang magsinungaling siya at sabihin niyang hindi
siya iyon? That he was
manipulated? Or drugged? Or any reason? Or any lie that could cover him up?

Bigla akong naiyak. Sometimes we want to be told with lies because the truth hurts.
It freaking hurts.

"Hindi ba pwedeng magsinungaling ka na lang? Tell me it's not you. Tell me you're
unconscious of
everything that time..." wika ko sa pagitan ng mga hikbi ko.

"Have I ruined all trust you've given me?" Tanong niya. "Can I build it up again?"

Mas lalo pa akong naiyak. "Tell me it wasn't you! Tell me..."

6/9
Mas lalo pa akong naiyak. "Tell me it wasn't you! Tell me..."

"Baby..." He tried to calm me down but I'm close to breaking down. Hinalikan niya
ang noo ko at
mahigpit na niyakap ako. "I don't want to add my offenses. I'm sorry, I've sinned.
A lot."

Those were sincere words, but it hurts. Paulit-ulit na sinabi niya at sa bawat
pagkakataong sinasabi niya
iyon ay tila iyon patalim na tinatarak sa dibdib ko. Alam kong nagkakamali naman
tayong lahat but isn't
it his choice to do so?

"I'm not strong enough not to commit sins. Nasa katawang tao ako. Angels can sin,
mas lalo na ang tao
and baby, this is not what I wanted. You being angry with me? Not cool, baby.
Please, forgive me."

His voice is sweet and full of emotions. He press his head on my neck. I can feel
the heat of his breathe
there and it tickles. Tila may mga utak ang kamay ko. Itinaas ko iyon at kinapa ang
buhok niya. Mas lalo
lamang niyang isiniksik ang sarili niya sa akin.

"Napakasakit, Semper..."

"And here I am to make it up to you," wika niya nang inihiwalay niya ang sarili
niya sa akin. Hinawakan
niya ang mukha ko at tiningnan ako sa mata. "Baby, I'm so sorry."

"That's it?" I asked. Don't I deserve some explanation? Hindi ba niya sasabihin
kung bakit hindi niya
sinabi sa akin ang lakad na iyon? Did he mean to hide it from me? Why did he let
the girl kiss him? Why
did he allow her in his lap? What did they do after? What else do I need to know?
Why did he do it? Ah,
napakaraming tanong na gusto kong masagot but I guess all I get is an apology. I do
not even have the
guts to ask those.

He nodded his head and kissed my nose. Meh, dinadaan ako sa halik. I gently pushed
away his face and
pulled my blanket up to my body.

"Why, baby?"

Hindi ko siya pinansin at umayos ng upo habang binabalot pa rin ng kumot ang
katawan ko.

"Baby..."

7/9
"You kissed that girl. You even let her on your lap." My voice came in a sigh.
Okay, I hope I didn't say it! I
sounded like a jealous- I am really jealous.

I heard him groan. Tumayo siya sa kama at sa gulat ko ay hinawakan niya ang kamay
ko at hinila patayo.
Nagtataka man ay sumunod na lang ako. Parehas kaming nakatayo sa kama at nagulat na
lamang ako
nang bigla niya akong iniangat. He carried my body kaya napahawak ako sa balikat
niya.

"Anong ginagawa mo?" Nagtatakang tanong ko. He fixed me up on his body before he
sat on the bed.
Inayos niya ang mga paa ko and put it behind him.

My cheeks blushed. This position is so akward. I am now sitting on his lap,

straddling in front of him. I can
feel him, and I was tempted to roll my hips to feel him more but I didn't! Mas
nakakahiya.

"Baby, I didn't kiss her," wika niya. Magkalapit na magkalapit ang mukha namin. I
tightly gripped on his
shoulders. He moved his head towards me. His lips opened under mine while his arms
are on my waist,
securing me against him.

This is what I hate. How could a single kiss make me forget everything he'd done?
And with that thought,
I pulled myself away, but he strengthened his hold on my waist kaya ang mukha ko
lamang ang nailayo
ko.

"What's wrong, baby?" He asked after his groan of disapproval. He didn't like it
when I pulled myself.

I blushed. "Semper... I don't l-like this position." Okay, I'm lying. This is so
intimate, and I like it.

"Your eyes tell me you're lying," wika niya. A condensing smile escaped his lips.

"I... I m-mean this is a-awkward," wika ko. Saglit na tinitigan niya ang mga mata
ko bago humiga sa
kama, pulling me! Ang nangyari ay nakahiga siya at nasa ibabaw niya ako. His hand
is still on my waist.

"How about this?" Tanong niya.

"Semper!" I gasped. God, how could he make these intimate positions to my likings?
Ako ba talaga ito?
Damn.

I stared at his face. Even at this angle, he looked so handsome. He doesn't have
the perfect symmetric
facial features. His expressions were dull, yet I find every piece of him perfect.
Damn again.

Napalunok ako habang inililibot sa mukha niya. His forehead showed dahil sa
posisyon niyang nakahiga.
His hair also falls back. Hinawakan ko ang katawan niya. My hand shook as I touched
his hard body. He

8/9
His hair also falls back. Hinawakan ko ang katawan niya. My hand shook as I touched
his hard body. He
was feeling each touch.

"Semper..."

"Mm?" It came out as soft moan.

I sighed. How will I tell him my concerns? Ano ba kami?

"Ano ba ako sa'yo?" It almost came out as a sigh.

His brows met. "Baby, you're mine."

"That's it?"

To my surprise, he rolled and flipped us over. Ngayon ay ako na ang nakahiga sa

kama at siya na
ngayon ang nakapatong sa akin.

"You're mine baby, mine alone." He said before he leaned down and kissed me hard.

9/9
CHAPTER 42: MINE
wattpad.com/558277067-as-you-lie-awake-chapter-42-mine/page/2

Chapter 42: Mine

"Hi?"

Nag-angat ako ng tingin at ngumiti sa lalaking nakaupo na ngayon sa harapan ko. May
dala siyang
pagkain para sa dalawa at inilapag iyon sa mesa.

"Keep your books. Let's eat first."

Sumunod ako at iniligpit ang gamit ko. See? After what happened, walang awkwardness
sa pagitan
namin ni Crayon. Nilagyan niya ng ketchup ang siopao at iniabot iyon sa akin.

"Thanks." Agad akong kumagat at nginuya iyon. Nakatunghay naman sa akin ang
nakamaskarang
mukha niya. "What?"

"Masarap?" he asked. I nodded and took another bite.

"Glad you like it," wika niya. "Yan yung mga pusa sa likod ng library."

Natigil ang tangka kong pagsubo ulit at ibinaba ang siopao sa platito. He started
laughing like crazy.
Okay, alam kong nagbibiro lang siya pero ayaw ko sa siopao-pusa na biro.

"Wala kang magawang matino sa buhay mo ano?" wika ko sa kanya. He just shook his
head and stared
at me. Hindi ko maiwasang isipin ang kabuoan ng kanyang mukha. Crayon is
undoubtedly handsome. His
face shows emotions, unlike Semper's- sandali.
1/8
Why am I comparing them?

I brushed the thought away at muling kumain. "Where's Nikki?"

He shrugged his shoulders, removed his mask and eat. "I approached you to ask the
same question."

Nikki is always missing in action these past days. Saan kaya nagsususuot ang
babaeng iyon? Well,
magala naman talaga siya, and she loves to hang out with guys. Pero kahit ganoon
siya, hindi naman
niya napapabayaan ang pag-aaral niya. Bilib nga ako sa kanya eh.

Teka, didn't I see her with Semper last week? Mukhang may pinag-uusapan silang
seryoso. Alam ba ni
Nikki ang tungkol kay Semper? Ah, hindi. Imposible.

"Baka busy sa boyfriends niya," sagot ko. He nodded his head and focused on his
food. Ilang sandali ay
muli siyang nag-angat ng tingin sa akin.

"Boyfriends?" He asked, emphasizing the S.

"Yep, boyfriends."

Bigla siyang tumawa. "Buti pa si Nikki may boyfriends."

"Edi maghanap ka rin ng boyfriends kung gusto mo," pamimilosopo ko sa kanya. Tumawa
siya at binato
ako ng straw.

"Ano ba!" Natawa na rin ako at gumanti. Sinigurado kong mababasa siya sa straw na
ibabato ko, and I
didn't fail. Sabay kaming natawa sa ginawa namin.

2/8
Isang tikhim ang nagpatigil sa tawanan namin. Nanlaki ang mga mata ko nang makitang
nakatayo si
Semper sa gilid. His eyes were blank, but I know he doesn't like what he's seeing.
Bigla akong tumayo.

"Semper..."

Tumayo rin si Crayon ngunit sa gulat ko ay bigla siyang sinalubong ni Semper ng

suntok. I shrieked loudly
when Crayon slammed on the table creating a loud thud. Mas lalo akong napasigaw
nang muli siyang
hinawakan ni Semper sa kwelyo at sinalubong ulit ng suntok. Bago pa man niya muling
masuntok si
Crayon ay hinawakan ko ang braso niya.

His arms were hard, his muscles tighten na para bang galit na galit talaga siya. He
tightly grips on my
waist and pulls me to him. Isang masamang tingin ang iginawad niya kay Crayon bago
ako hinila palayo.

I tried freeing myself from his grip upang tulungan si Crayon ngunit matigas pa sa
bakal ang
pagkakahawak niya sa akin. Nagpahila na lang ako hanggang sa makarating kami sa
parking lot. Right in
front of his car.

"Sakay." His voice is cold and angry.

"Don't boss me around, Semper! Ano bang problema mo?" Galit na tanong ko.

He ran his fingers through his hair and I swallowed. Damn, he looks hot when he's
pissed.

"No one gets to make you happy like that," wika niya. "Naiintindihan mo ba?"

Napaawang ang bibig ko. I should be angry over this nonsense reason but... Bakit
parang kinikilig ako?

Lumapit siya sa akin at hinawakan ang pisngi ko. "Do you get what I'm saying,
baby?"

Tila nabalot sa anumang mahika na napatango na lamang ako sa kanya. He pulls me

closer at niyakap
ako. "How could you make me pissed and calm at the same time, baby?"

3/8
ako. "How could you make me pissed and calm at the same time, baby?"

Naramdaman kong hinalikan niya ang tuktok ng ulo ko kaya gumanti ako ng yakap.
"Semper?"

"Hmmm?"

"Hindi maganda ang ginawa mo. Crayon is my friend-" He cut me off.

"Don't befriend a guy." Bahagya siyang lumayo at tiningnan ang mukha ko. "Ayaw kong
nakikipagkaibigan ka sa mga lalaki."

"Eh?"

"Not even Daven," he said with a sigh.

"Siya ang nagpaalala sa akin ng lahat," protesta ko.

"Kahit na. Ayaw ko pa rin."

Bumitaw siya sa akin at binuksan ang pinto ng kotse niya. Nagtatakang napatingin
naman ako roon.
"Where are we going?"

"Let's go somewhere," wika niya at muling niluwagan ang pinto. I sighed bago umupo.
Umikot siya sa
kabilang bahagi ng kotse at pumasok.

"Where did you get this car?" Tanong ko. Dati motorsiklo lang naman ang meron siya,
'di ba?

"Acquired it."

"Through?" Tanong ko.

Hindi siya sumagot at nagkunwaring abala sa pagmaneho. I repeated my question at

saka lamang siya
sumagot.

"Doon sa Clubhouse."

My blood boiled to its utmost zeal. "You mean through gambling?!"

4/8
He shrugged his shoulders at nagpatuloy sa pagmamaneho. Iniiwasan niya ang usapang
ito. Hindi ko
alam kung bakit bigla akong nawala sa mood. I remained silent and pressed my face
on the window.
Nang makarating kami sa apartment niya ay nanatili lang din akong tahimik.

I'm a little pissed. Seriously, he gambled? An angel is into gambling?

Hinawakan niya ang kamay ko at iginiya ako papasok sa apartment. Malamang napansin
niya ang
pananahimik ko. He remained silent too at pinagbuksan ako ng pinto. Iginiya niya
ako sa sofa at nang
makaupo ako ay naghanda siya ng maiinom.

Nang bumalik siya ay ililapag niya ang iced tea sa maliit na mesa sa harap. He sat
there and stared at
me silently. Iniwasan ko namang salubungin ang mga mata niya. Can't he tell that
I'm a little bit angry?

"Baby."

I crossed my legs and pretended not to hear. Damn, whenever he calls me baby, I
feel butterflies in my
stomach. Kahit na galit ako, the moment he will call me baby, my own self would
surely betray me.

"Baby?" His voice is a bit husky this time. He moved a little beside me, his elbow
touching mine.

Nag-inarte ako. Umisod ako palayo sa kanya. Narinig ko ang pagbuntong-hininga niya.
"Baby."

He moved again, his leg touched the side of mine. Before I could move away, his
arms snaked on my
shoulders and prevented me from doing so.

"Are you mad?" Tanong niya.

I drew a heavy breath. "You punched Crayon and you gambled for a car, sa tingin mo
matutuwa ako?"

He looked up and touched his head wearing a black cap. "Ayokong pinapasaya ka ng
iba. I hate it, Violet.
I told you, you're mine." Seryoso ang boses niya. The kind that will surely make
you feel scared. "And the
car? Wouldn't you'd like me more if I have a car?"

Napaawang ang bibig ko. What? "Ano? Sa tingin mo hindi kita magugustuhan kung wala
kang kotse?"
Muling nabuhay ang galit ko.

"I said more."

5/8
"Really, Semper? You think I'm that materialistic? You could just stand there
without a freaking car and I
will like you even more! Kahit na mamaga man ang kalyo sa paa mo sa kalalakad, I
will freaking like you
more! Saan mo ba nakuha ang ideyang iyan?!" I'm shouting, I know.

Semper grinned.

"What?!" I'm more pissed right now.

"Baby, you're making me flustered," he said and nuzzled on my neck. Nakayakap ang
mga braso niya sa
akin. I tried to free myself, but I failed. Or maybe I didn't try that hard. I like
him this close, alright.

"Semper, ano ba?"

"I could lose the car, baby, it's just a thing. I'd rather lose the car than lose
you so don't be mad, okay?"
He said softly. I can feel his warm breath on my neck. It tickles and it feels so
good.

"Promise me you will never gamble again," wika ko sa kanya. I know I'm taking
chances. Semper could
end up telling me to mind my own life not his pero pinili ko pa ring sabihin iyon.

"I love you," he said.

"Semper, you have to- what did you say?" Nanlalaki ang mga matang tanong ko. I
pulled away from him
and faced him. Did he say the three-words? Did I hear it right?

"I love you." His face studied me for a while. I know I look silly. I was so
shocked hearing it again.

Maya-maya ay biglang nangilid ang mga luha ko. Nataranta si Semper at hinawakan ang
mukha ko.
"What's wrong, baby?"

"You said I love you." My God, bakit naiiyak ako dahil lamang sa tatlong salitang
iyon?

"Yeah, I really do, oh don't cry baby," he said. Pinunasan niya ang mga luha ko
gamit ang kanyang mga
daliri. He lowered his face to level mine. He slid back his cap, the brim facing
backward.

"I'm just happy," sagot ko. He smiled like he's amazed na umiyak ako dahil lamang
nag-I love you siya sa
akin. He took a quick peck on my lips before he spoke.

"Let's watch a movie baby."

6/8
Tumango ako at tumayo siya upang buksan ang laptop. He chosed a 2014 romantic
comedy movie.
Akala ko ay pipili siya ng papanuorin na panglalaki but he chose Love, Rosie.

We slouched on the sofa, his arms around me and my head rested on his chest. Nasa
bandang tiyan ko
ang malaking pack ng junkfood at parehas kaming tutok sa screen. I've watched this
movie countless
times, but I don't mind watching it again for countless times ngayong kasama ko
siya.

Tumayo ako at itinayo ko rin siya. Sa pagkakataong ito ay nauna akong umupo at
pinagpalit ang pwesto
naman. Ngayon ay siya naman ang nakasandal sa akin. I saw him suppress a smile but
failed.

Nang nakasandal na siya sa akin ay tinanggal ko ang suot niyang ball cap. I was
surprised how almost a
quarter of his hair turned into white.

"Semper, anong nangyayari sa buhok mo?" I began to worry. Definitely, something's

not right here. It
doesn't look like white hairs due to old age or some other factors. Puting-puti
iyon.

Sinubukan niyang abutin ang cap ngunit agad ko iyong inilayo. "Don't mind it, baby.
I just colored my
hair, that's it."

"Every other day? Tila dumarami ang puting buhok kada araw!" Sinubukan kong mag-
isip ng kung ano
ang dahilan niyon ngunit agad kong itinigil ang pag-iisip. Damn, bakit naisip kong
tila hourglass iyon? Na
kung tuluyan nang maging puti lahat ay mamamatay na siya. Argh! Kung anu-ano ang
naiisip ko! Damn!

"Special effects?" Hindi ko alam kung nagbibiro ba siya, and if yes? Well, hindi
nakakatawa. Definitely
hindi nakakatawa.

"Semper!"

"Baby, it's nothing okay?" He tried to assure me, but I wasn't convinced. He laid
down and rested his
head on my lap at nagfocus na lamang sa movie.

Muli kong sinulyapan ang buhok niya bago bumuntong-hininga at nagfocus na lamang
din sa palabas.

7/8
8/8
CHAPTER 43: FOR GOOD
wattpad.com/560712711-as-you-lie-awake-chapter-43-for-good/page/2

Chapter 43: For Good

Masasabi kong naging masaya ako kay Semper. For the past few days, I even love him
more. Kahit na
sakit ng ulo ang ibinibigay niya minsan at madalas na pinag-aalala niya ako.

There were nights that I cannot contact him. Yup, I already got his number. Minsan
ay nakapatay ang
kanyang telepono at kapag pinuntahan ko siya sa apartment niya ay wala rin siya.
Naiinis ako kapag
naiisip ko na malamang nasa club house na naman siya. Nakipag-usap ako sa kanya
tungkol doon ngunit
iniiba niya lamang ang usapan.

Hindi rin kami nagpapang-abot ni Nikki minsan. Ano kaya ang pinagkakaabalahan niya
ngayon?
Naghintay ako sa cafeteria at paulit-ulit na nagtext kay Nikki ngunit ibang tao ang
hindi ko inaasahang
dumating. She sat in front of me with her usual bitch expression.

"Hi Violet," malamig niyang wika.

"Anong kailangan mo Ira?" Tanong ko. Naalala ko ang lahat ng nangyari. She almost
made me walk in
my birthday suit. She humiliated me and even made me engaged in a catfight. Hindi
ako ang taong
matapang na pumapatol sa mga ganoon but she juat made me! Thanks to Sir Duane for
saving me.

"Magiging pranka ako, Violet. Hindi kita gusto at alam kong the feeling is mutual.
May something na
gusto kong sabihin sa'yo. It's up to you if you make paniwala or not pero sa tingin
ko you really need to
know this," wika niya. She hasn't changed a bit. Conyo at nakakairita pa ring
pakinggan.

"Ano?"

"Alam mo na ang tungkol kay Daven, right?" She asked. "At malamang ay naalala mo na
rin ang tungkol
kay Semper."
1/6
Bahagya akong natigilan. "How do you know about those things?" Daven said I lost my
memories.

"I'm one of them."

Napaawang ang bibig ko. "Anong ibig mong sabihin?"

"I'm a Nephil, just like Daven, but a very far descendant. Hindi gumana sa akin ang
pagbura ng alaala
pagkatapos ng pagkawala ni Sir Duane," wika niya.

"Sir Duane? Anong tungkol kay Sir Duane?" Teka, masyado na akong naguguluhan sa
lahat. What about
Sir Duane?

"Sir Duane is the fallen angel who tried to steal Semper's wings."

Literal na napanganga ako. "What?"

"Tama ang narinig mo. All these times, he's the one who tried to kill you at inisip
mong si Semper iyon."

I recalled the memories that I just remembered recently. May mga itim na pigura nga
na nagtangkang
pumatay sa akin at hindi ako makapaniwalang si Sir Duane iyon. Napamasahe ako sa
sariling ulo.

"Hindi ko maintindihan, Ira."

She sneered at me. "Mahirap lang sigurong tanggapin for you. And that's not what I
want to tell you.
Semper. It's about Semper."

Nakuha niya ang buong atensyon ko. "Why? What's wrong with Semper?"
2/6
"Let him go Violet or he will rot in hell."

Unti-unting napakunot ang noo ko. What is she talking about?! "Anong pinagsasabi
mo, Ira?"

"That's exactly it is, Violet. Hindi ko ito sinasabi dahil concern ako sa iyo.
Semper begged the archangels
to let him on earth temporarily. He's under probation, iyon ang narinig ko. But
he's living his life as a
total sinner," wika niya. "Yan lang ang masasabi ko."

Tumayo siya ngunit agad ko siyang pinigilan. "You're lying," wika ko.

"Bakit naman ako magsisinungaling sa'yo?" She shot.

"Hindi ko alam," sagot ko sa kanya. "You always want my life to be a living hell.
Who knows this could be
one of your schemes, Ira."

Tiningnan niya ako ng masama. "Anong mapapala ko roon, Violet?"

Hindi pa rin ako kumbinsido sa mga pinagsasabi niya. He tried to flirt with Semper
before but he rejected
here. Maybe this is her way to get back to him— by fooling me.

"Ni hindi mo alam kung ano man siya dati."

Ira raised her brow. "That's because a Nephil like me has no way of knowing."

"Hindi pa rin ako naniniwala sa iyo. I don't trust you," pinanindigan ko ang sinabi
ko.

"Oh, why don't you make tanong on your bestfriend slash guardian angel?" wika niya
na ikinagulat ko.
She's throwing unbelievable bombs right in front of me.

3/6
She's throwing unbelievable bombs right in front of me.

"Ano?"

She smirked. "Go ask Nikki, Violet. She will surely make you understand."

Sa pagkakataong ito ay tuluyan na siyang umalis at wala na akong nagawa kundi ang
tanawin ang
papalayo niyang pigura. Tila nanghina ang mga tuhod ko kaya muli akong napaupo.
Seryoso ba ang mga
pinagsasabi niya? How did she know about Semper? And what is she saying about
Nikki?!

Hindi ko maiwasang mapaisip. How did she know about those things? Ano ang mapapala
niya kung
sakali? Dapat ko ba siyang pagkatiwalaan at dapat ba akong maniwala sa kanya?

Ilang minuto akong nahulog sa malalim na pag-iisip nang narinig ko ang pagtawag ni
Nikki sa akin.

"Geeeeerl!"

She strode her way towards me and sat on the chair accross me, sa upuang inupuan
kanina ni Ira.
Nanatili akong nakaupo at nakatitig sa kanya.

"Nikks?"

"Yes?" She asked, still looking hyper like always.

"Can I ask something?" Wika ko sa kanya.

"Shoot."

"And I want the truth, okay?"

Bahagya siyang natigilan. Nag-angat siya ng tingin sa akin at nakita ang

napakaseryoso kong mukha.
She drew a deep breath before she sat still.

"About Semper."

Her brows moved na para bang nag-iisip siya ng maaring sabihin upang maiwasan ang
usapang ito but I
didn't give her the chance to.
4/6
"Please, Nikks, I just want the truth."

Huminga siya ng malalim. Gone was the hyper Nikki that I always knew. Isang
napakaseryosong Nikki
ang nasa harap ko ngayon.

"Semper could end up losing his wings," wika niya at biglang sumabay ang luha ko.
Pinahid ko iyon at
nagtanong sa kanya.

"Bakit?"

"I know you already remembered the memories I deleted. Marconi and Jophiel
conspired against him.
Ginamit siya ni Jophiel at pinababa upang bantayan ka. That way, Marconi can take
over his wings,"
Nikki said.

"Ano? Bakit ako? I mean, Marconi tried to kill me all these times." Nagulat ako sa
sarili ko dahil nakakaya
ko pang tanggapin ang mga sinasabi niya kahit mahirap paniwalaan.

"You're under my guardianship, and Semper is your next guardian kaya mas mapapadali
ang nais nila
kapag gagamitin ka nila. But it was a wrong move, Semper fell in love with you."

My chest tightened. All these informations is too much for me to bear. Totoo ba ang
lahat ng ito?

"N-nikks..." Hindi ko mahanap ang tamang salita na gusto kong sabihin.

"When Semper left, I altered your memories while the archangels altered everyone's
memories.
Pinarusahan siya roon, but the punishment is minimal since it was a conspiracy
against him. Dumaan
siya sa ilang hukom, and he begged them to let him be with you. Kahit pa kapalit
niyon ay ang kanyang
pakpak."

Nikki sighed heavily bago nagpatuloy. "Pero hindi iyon ganoon kadali, Violet. He
left the heavens and
chose you. And it's a bad choice. He will rot in hell if he will be involved with
you, a human. You see his
hair? Each time he commits a deadly sin, a strand of his hair turns white. Dahil
pinili niyang mamuhay
bilang tao, he became susceptible to sinning like human normally does. Deceit,
greed, pride, envy, lust—
he did them all and his charges increases each time. He will be fallen, and he'll
lose his wings for good."

Muling naglandas ang mga luha ko. Semper chose me pero hindi ibig sabihin niyon ay
magiging maayos
ang lahat. He committed sins and will continue committing sins until his hair
completely turns white.
Baka dumating ang araw na tuluyan na siyang makuba.

"Anong dapat kong gawin?" Tanong ko sa kanya. I'm willing to do it even if it cost
me everything,
5/6
including losing him.

"Crayon," wika ni Nikki. "Ipinakilala ko si Crayon sa'yo dahil siya ang nakatadhana
para sa'yo. The
heavens match people and you're destined to be with him. Relationships that fails
are those who bend
their fate although others make their own destiny in a successful way."

Kung ganoon ay iyon ang dahilan kung bakit ipinakilala niya sa akin si Crayon.
But... but I love Semper.

If you love someone, you're willing to do everything just to be with them.

Those were Semper's words. Ngunit kaya ko ba siyang makitang maghirap? Can I bear
to see him
become the total sinner he was never before?

And I just made up my mind. It's for the greater good, I guess.

6/6
CHAPTER 44: BREAKUP?
wattpad.com/561801272-as-you-lie-awake-chapter-44-breakup/page/2

Chapter 44: Breakup?

Nagising ako dahil sa malambot na dampi ng kung ano sa pisngi ko. Dahan-dahan kong
binuksan ang
mga mata at bumungad sa akin ang mukha ni Semper. He looks a little bit tired. His
hair is a mess and
the white strands make him looks like an art. A beautiful masterpiece.

"Semper..." Bumangon ako at hinawakan siya sa pisngi.

"Did I wake you up, baby? I'm sorry. I just missed you so much." He sound so
sincere and it brought
warmth to my heart. Mahal na mahal ko siya. I'm sure of it.

Nilingon ko ang paligid. Nothing feels weird. "Is this a dream?" I asked.

He shook his head and pulled me towards him. He made me rest my head on his chest.
"No baby, I'm not
capable of invading your dreams as of the moment. I took another way."

"What?" Gulat na bulalas ko. Saka ko lamang napansin ang bintanang kanina ay
nakasara, ngayon ay
nakasara pa rin pero hindi naka-lock. "Semper, it's dangerous!"

"What's dangerous? Me in your room?" He asked playfully at mahina ko siyang

hinampas. He chuckled
and planted a kiss on top of my head. "I missed you so much. It's been three days
since you last talked
to me. May nagawa ba akong mali? Iniiwasan mo rin ako sa school."

I bit my lip and tried to stop my tears from running down. It's been three days.
Three days when Ira
talked to me and spilled everything. Three days since Nikki confirmed every word.
Three days since I
started planning what to do. Three days since I made up a decision and three days
passed that I tried to
avoid him.
1/6
Minsan naiisip ko na sana may unlove button na lang na pwedeng pindutin kapag gusto
nating mawala
ang labis-labis na pagmamahal natin sa isang tao. But no. No unlove button and what
you get is that,
you even love that person more each passing day.

"Semper, hindi. M-medyo busy lang talaga sa school," wika ko sa kanya. Nag-ipon ako
ng lakas ng loob
upang sabihin ang lahat ng gusto kong sabihin sa kanya.

"You're doing nothing at school," wika niya, tunog nagtatampo. "Baby, tell me if I
did something wrong
so that I can apologize. Ayaw kong may kinikimkim kang galit sa akin."

Inilayo ko ang sarili sa kanya. "P-please leave."

"What?" gulat niyang tanong.

"B-baka..." Baka 'pag hindi ka umalis, hindi ko na magawang paalisin ka habang

buhay. That's what I
wanted to say but I shouldn't. "Baka maabutan ka ni Daddy. Magagalit iyon kapag
nakitang may lalaki sa
kwarto ko."

"Baby he will not know. Isa pa, we're not doing anything wrong." Wika niya sa
tonong nagbibiro.

"I... I don't want you here anymore. Huwag ka nang pumunta rito sa silid ko. H-
hindi magandang
tingnan," wika ko. He looked at me in the eyes, trying to figure out what's with
me. Staring at his dull,
lackluster eyes will only make me weak.

Those beautiful emotionless orbs are what drew me to him. His perfectly shaped lips
were a bit open in
surprise. Ah! I shouldn't look at him in his face dahil baka hindi ko mapigilan ang
sarili ko at
magmakaawa pa ako sa kanya na manatili na lamang sa buhay ko.

"Okay, this will be my last night here," mahinahong wika niya. "We can hang out at
my place."

"No."

2/6
"No."

Muli ay nawalan ng emosyon ang mukha niya. He stared at me blankly. "Why?"

"I... I want you out of my life." Humanga ako sa sarili ko dahil nagawa kong
sabihin iyon ng diretso. Good
job, Violet. Good job.

"Ano?" His voice was as blank as his stare. Napakalamig ng boses niya.

"Tama ang narinig mo, Semper. I just realized that... I'm not attracted to you
anymore."

Mas naging blanko ang blanko niyang mukha. Is that even possible? "Attracted?" Pag-
ulit niya sa sinabi
ko.

"Oo. I'm attracted to you. You're good looking and everything. Sa tingin ko ay
lipas na ang panahong
iyon." Bawat salitang binibitawan ko ay tila patalim sa dibdib ko.

"You love me. You're not just attracted to me," he said with confidence. Tama siya,
mahal ko siya pero
para sa ikabubuti niya ang gagawin ko.

"Mali ka, Semper. I'm tired, I'm so tired with you." Ginawa ko ang lahat upang
maging tunog sinsero sa
bawat sinasabi ko.

"Seriously, baby? Is this about the gambling thing? Are you doing this because of
that?" Bahagyang
lumakas ang boses niya na para bang hindi siya makapaniwala sa sinabi ko.

"No, of course not. You can do what you want. Pagod na talaga siguro ako, Semper. I
want you out my
life—"

Nagulat ako nang hinawakan niya nang mahigpit ang braso ko. "Bawiin mo ang sinabi
mo." Mariin ang
pagkakasabi niya sa bawat salita.

"Alin doon?"

3/6
"Alin doon?"

"All of it."

I faked a laughter. "Bakit ko naman babawiin iyon? I mean every word I say, Semper.
Siguro ay panahon
na para magkanya-kanya tayo. We can still be friends."

Isang luha ang nakita kong pumatak mula sa mata niya. He pressed his head on the
headboard and
closed his eyes. Parang may dinaramdam siyang masakit. His face contorted as he
tried to stop the tears
from coming out, but he failed miserably.

When he opened his eyes, it stung my heart. His eyes were blank amd tears were
flowing. Sinalubong
niya ang mga mata ko at agad akong nag-iwas ng tingin.

"Look at me, baby..." He said but I acted like I didn't hear anything. Nakababa
lang sa dibdib niya ang
tingin ko. He leaned closer and lifted my head. "Tingnan mo ako sa mata Violet at
ulitin mo lahat ng
sinabi mo."

Sinubukan kong gawin ang sinabi niya ngunit nalaglag lang ang mga luha ko. I began
sniffing and said
nothing.

"See? You cannot say it because you don't mean it." Pinahid niya ang mga luha sa
mata ko. Bakit ba
hindi ko magawang iwanan siya? I'm so selfish. Semper deserve a life, but that life
doesn't include me.
He is an angel, I am human. We can't be together. It's forbidden.

"Totoo ang mga sinabi ko, Semper. I want you out my life," wika ko at tiningnan
siya nang diretso sa
mata. Ginagap ng dalawang palad niya ang pisngi ko.

"No, you don't mean it."

Unti-unting lumapit sa mukha ko ang mukha niya. I closed my eyes as his lips
touched mine. Nalaglag
ang mga luha ko. This is my last night with him. My last kiss and everything.

Dinama ko ang sensasyong dulot ng kanyang halik. His kisses were slow and
passionate, bringing me to
a dimension that there's only the two of us. I felt the sparks and tingles. His
every move makes me more
drawn into him.

When he started nibbling on my lower lip, I parted my lips to give him entrance.
Mas dinama ko ang
bawat salakay na ginagawa niya. Whatever he does, gaves me good sensation. Ipinikit
ko ang mga mata
ko. Automatikong napahawak ako sa likurang buhok niya, pulling him towards me and
pulling his hair.
4/6
He deepened the kiss at halos manginig na ang kalamnan ko. Naglakbay ang kamay niya
sa likuran ko. I
felt the warmth of his hands on the thin cloth of my pajama top. Naglakabay rin ang
mga kamay ko
pababa sa balikat niya, feeling his not so bulgy muscles. When he pulled me closer,
a soft moan escaped
my throat.

Nagpadausdos ang kamay ko sa tagiliran niya. I threw away all inhibitions and I
lifted his shirt, feeling the
warmth of his chest. Napaungol din siya sa bawat hawak ko sa balat niya. I pulled
his shirt upward,
prompting him to take it off.

Sandaling pinutol niya ang halik at hinubad ang itim niyang damit. My hand can't
get enough of his skin. I
touched his nipple and he was tickled but he continued kissing my lips, suckling,
nibbling and depending
on it like it is his lifeline.

My hands slipped on his back, feeling the long pretty scar that I also fell in love
with him. I love him. I
love every bit of him. I leaned closer to him and straddle on his lap. I pushed his
face downwards and he
started kissing my jaw.

Hinawakan niya ang baywang ko na para bang isa akong babasaging bagay. He touched
me with care,
and it made me love him more. He slid his kisses down my neck, feeling every skin.
It felt good that I
can't help but moan.

I pulled my pajama top and I wasn't wearing anything under. Bahagya siyang
natigilan but I kissed his
lips again and the fire ignited back. His hands roamed on my bare skin, touching my
back until he
reached my breast. He gently fondled it while he started kissing my bare shoulders.
It felt so good that I
gasped in delight.

His lips found my breast and I welcomed him with enough pleasure. Kakaiba ang dulot
ng ginagawa niya
sa dibdib ko. He sucked one breast and fondled the other at the same time. Naging
habol ang hininga ko
dahil sa ginagawa niya na parang hinihigit ang bawat hangin sa katawan ko.

I laid myself on the bed, pulling him on top of me. Nakadagan siya sa akin ngayon
at patuloy na
pinapadama sa akin ang sensasyong nakakabaliw. I felt something hard touched my
leg. Binalik niya ang
kanyang halik sa labi ko at naramdaman ko siya sa puson ko.

Dinama ng mga kamay ko ang kanyang peklat sa likod. I could go crazy anytime. Halos
malunod ako sa
mga halik niya ngunit bigla na lamang siyang huminto.

Umalis siya mula sa pagkakadagan sa akin at kinuha ang kumot at tinakpan ang
kahubdan ko.
Bumangon ako at niyakap ang kumot upang takpan ang dibdib ko. "What's wrong?"
5/6
Sinabunutan niya ang sarili at nanatiling nakayuko. "I can't do this."

"Bakit?"

Nag-angat siya ng tingin. Mukha siyang nahihirapan sa hindi ko alam kung anong
dahilan.

"Baby, I love you so much that I cannot do it. I can commit all deadly sins but I
cannot just let lust take
over me and devour you. I love you so much that I'm willing to wait until you're
ready and not because
we're going over something." Bahagya siyang lumapit sa akin at ibinaon ang mukha sa
leeg ko. "Just
don't talk again about leaving me, okay?"

Nanikip ang dibdib ko. Why is he making it hard for me?

6/6
CHAPTER 45: OVER
wattpad.com/562678939-as-you-lie-awake-chapter-45-over/page/4

Chapter 45: Over

"De lima!"

"Yuhooo!"

"Lila!"

Iwinasiwas ni Crayon ang kanyang kamay sa harapan ko at saka lamang niya nakuha ang
atensyon ko.
"Sorry, what were you saying?"

"Sabi ko pupunta ako kay Maroon, baka gusto mong sumama," wika niya. Sumama? What
if she
breakdowns again?

Crayon sighed and gave me a reassuring smile. "Don't worry, ganoon talaga siya
palagi, nasanay na
ako." Nabasa pala niya ang nasa isipan ko.

Napatingin ako ng seryoso kay Crayon. Totoo nga kaya ang sinabi ni Nikki? Crayon
and I are meant for
each other?

Niyakap niya ang sarili niya. "Why are you looking at me like that? May pagnanasa
ka sa akin?"

I rolled my eyes at hinampas siya ng libro. "Dream on, Crayon. I think that's a
good idea."

"Ang pagnasaan ako?" Nakataas ang kilay na tanong niya sa akin.

1/11
"Ang pagnasaan ako?" Nakataas ang kilay na tanong niya sa akin.

"You wish. Pumunta na lang tayo kay Maroon," wika ko at pinulot ang mga gamit ko. I
heard him giggled
and said let's go.

Habang lulan kami ng kotse ay hindi mawaglit sa isipan ko ang tungkol kay Semper.
This time I really
have to make a choice. Dahil sa nangyari ay napatunayan kong kaya pang magbago ni
Semper. He can
still change and go back to his life as an angel.

"Ang lalim naman ng iniisip mo, kanina pa ako nalulunod," biro ni Crayon. His
attention was still on the
road.

"Crayon."

"Hmmm?"

"Can I ask?"

"Can you not?" Napangiwi ako sagot niya at tumawa lamang siya. "Okay Lila, shoot."

"Kapag mahal mo ba ang isang tao at mali ang pagmamahalang iyon, ipaglalaban mo pa
ba?" Hopefully
he will not laugh or what to my question. Minsan pa naman ay kalahating abnormal
din itong lalaking 'to.

Saglit siyang natahimik bago sumagot. "What makes it wrong?"

"Wrong people. Wrong time. Wrong everything." I hate to say it pero mukhang mali
talaga ang lahat.
What only makes it right is that Semper love me and I love him.

"The love is right, you think?" I nodded slowly as a reply. Narinig ko ang mahinang
buntong hininga niya.
"Lila, right love for the wrong people at the wrong time is still a wrong thing."
2/11
My chest hurts everytime I agree to the fact that it is wrong. Na mali ang
pagmamahalan namin. Na
maling nilalang si Semper para sa akin. Bakit kasi sa dinami-raming tao sa mundo,
sa maling tao tayo
nahuhulog?

"Pero De Lima, let me ask you one thing. What standards do you have para sabihing
maling tao ang
minahal mo?"

Gusto kong sabihin na dahil hindi naman tao si Semper. We cannot be together.
Maling-mali at kailan
man ay hindi iyon maitatama.

"Let's just say magkaiba kami. Magkaibang magkaiba."

"Well opposite poles attract," sagot niya. Right. It could be. But we're not just
opposite poles. We're two
different things that cannot be together. Hindi ko masabi iyon kay Crayon dahil
baka matawa lang siya at
baka isiping nababaliw na ako.

"Are you talking about your rogue boyfriend?" Tanong niya. Isang buntong hininga
ang isinagot ko at
kinulit naman ako ni Crayon tungkol doon. "Tell me the details Lila. After the
punch, I deserve some light
about what's happening."

I cringed. He's using the punch card para makiusyoso. Tsk.

"Hindi kami pwede." Yup, as simple as that.

"And why is that? He doesn't look bad. You're ugly, see? Opposite poles."
Natatawang wika niya at
sinamaan ko siya ng tingin. He's trying to light up my mood.

"Ewan ko sa'yo." Isinandal ko na lamang ang pisngi ko sa bintana ng kotse.

3/11
"Seriously De Lima, what makes you two wrong for each other?" pakikiusyoso niya.

"Basta."

"Ang daya mo naman."

"I'm planning to breakup with him."

Nagulat si Crayon sa sinabi ko. "Oh, why?"

"For some reasons. Heavy reasons. Kung ikaw nasa sitwasyon ko, ano ba ang gagawin
mo?" Tanong ko
sa kanya.

He shrugged his shoulders. "I don't know, I cannot tell since I don't know what
this heavy reasons are."

I frowned. Para-paraan din para makichismis 'tong lalaking ito. "Sabihin na lamang
natin na hindi pwede
dahil kapag naging kami, one will eventually suffer. Big time suffering."

Bigla siyang napapreno. "Are you getting married?"

"What? No!"

"Why are you talking about the third ring of marriage?" Tanong niya at muling
pinaandar ang sasakyan.

"Anong pinagsasabi mo?"

"They say, there are three rings in the course of marriage. First is engagement
ring, pangalawa ay ang
wedding ring and lastly is suffering."

I made a face. "Really Confucious? I'm not getting married. Not yet. This is some
sort of suffering. It could
be death."

Napansin kong bahagyang pananahimik niya. "I'm about to suffer. Sooner or later,
tanggapin ko man o
hindi, Mary will die. We will all die pero malaki ang posibilidad na mauuna siya
dahil sa sakit niya. And I
will be left suffering. Pero kahit ganoon, I will not give her up."

Saglit akong napaisip sa sinabi niya. If I am in the same situation, I will not
give him up too. Pero hindi.
Hindi ako ang magtitiis. It will be Semper. He will suffer badly and I don't want
that to happen.

4/11
Hindi ako ang magtitiis. It will be Semper. He will suffer badly and I don't want
that to happen.

Crayon pulled the car to a stop. Saka ko lamang napansin na nasa parking lot na
kami ng ospital.
Bumaba ako at kinuha naman ni Crayon ang dalang prutas at bulaklak mula sa backseat
ng sasakyan.
We went to Mary's room and found her on her bed, reading a book.

Tumayo siya sa kama at halos tumalon nang makita si Crayon. "Cray!" She met him
with a tight hug
kahit na sinabihan na siya ni Crayon na manatili lamang sa kama. "I missed you so
much!"

Tinanggal ni Crayon ang suot niyang mask at hinalikan ang noo ni Mary. Nakita ko na
naman ang mukha
ni Crayon. He looked extremely happy to see Mary.

Napatingin sa gawi ko si Mary. Napangiti ako sa kanya at gumanti siya ng ngiti sa

akin. "May kasama ka
pala, Cray."

Apologetic na napatingin si Crayon sa akin. He silently apologize dahil hindi ako

naalala ni Mary. "She's
Violet Dizon, my classmate."

Nakangiting lumapit si Mary sa akin. "You're named after a color, too?" Tumawa siya
samantalang
sumeryoso naman ang mukha ni Crayon. Yup, this is what she said the first time we
met. "I'm Maroon
Yana Torralba. Bakit lapitin ka ng mga kulay, Crayon?"

I forced a smile. I felt sorry for Mary. Hindi madaling magkaroon ng ganoong sakit.
Malamang kapag
nalilimutan niya si Crayon, labis na sakit ang nararamdaman ng huli.

"You're so pretty, Violet! Bagay na bagay kayo ni Cray!" she said hyperly.
Hinawakan niya ang kamay ko
at dinala ako sa kama. "You know what, bakit hindi na lamang tayo maglaro ng Snakes
and Ladders?"

Hindi kami nakatanggi nang inilabas ang ang isang board. So far ay hindi naman
nagbreakdown si Mary
gaya nang nangyari dati. Nang lumipas ang halos dalawang oras ay kumatok na ang
nurse at sinundo si
Mary para sa kanyang treatment. Inalalayan siya ni Crayon sa kanyang wheelchair at
hinalikan ito sa noo
bago nagpaalam.

"Bye, Violet!" Masiglang paalam niya habang tulak-tulak ng nurse ang wheelchair
palayo. Gumanti ako
ng ngiti at kumaway sa kanya. Nang hindi ko na siya makita ay napatingin ako kay
Crayon.

Gone was his bright smile. Kung kanina ay abot tainga ang kanyang ngiti, ngayon ay
walang emosyon
5/11
ang mukha niya. He stared at the door for a while before he drew a heavy sigh.

"Ayos ka lang ba?" Nag-aalalang tanong ko.

He faked a smile and nodded. "I'm good. Nakakalungkot lang. Mary has less than
three months to live
ayon sa doktor. Her body refuses all the medications."

Hindi ako nagsalita at tumahimik na lamang din. Maya-maya ay sinuot na niya ang
kanyang mask at
hinawakan ang balikat ko.

"Let's go, Lila," masiglang wika niya. There he goes again with his masking.
Nagpatangay na lamang ako
sa tulak niya at agad kaming lumabas ng ospital.

Nang pasakay na kami ng kotse ay napatigil ako. Humigpit ang hawak ko sa pinto ng
kotse ni Crayon at
naglakas-loob na magsalita.

"Crayon?"

Napatigil din siya sa tangkang pagbukas ng pinto at napatingin sa akin. He raised

his brows to
acknowledge my call.

"Can you do me a favor?" I have to do this. Kailangan ko itong gawin hindi para sa
akin kundi para kay
Semper. I don't have to be selfish and keep him to myself kahit pa iyon talaga ang
nais kong gawin.

"Let me think. Okay, just get into the car first," wika niya at tuluyang pumasok sa
sasakyan. Pumasok na
rin ako at naupo. Ikinabit ko ang seatbelt at pinaandar naman niya ang sasakyan.

"So, what do you want?"

Bumuga ako ng hangin. "Can you do some favor for me? It's something illegal."

"Oh my God De Lima, are you hiring me as a gunman?" He asked without a hint of
joking.

I frowned at him at tumawa naman siya. "Not illegal as that. Let's just sat
breaking in and gambling."

"Breaking in where?" Tanong niya.

"Remember the clubhouse kung saan mo ako dinala? That's the place."

6/11
"Remember the clubhouse kung saan mo ako dinala? That's the place."

Bahagya niya akong sinulyapan. "It's not really breaking in. We'll fake documents
or identity. I can use
the ID that my friend gave me. And gambling? No sweat."

Nakahinga ako ng maluwag. "And there's another thing."

"What?"

"Pretend that you're my lover."

Bigla siyang napapreno ngunit agad din namang nagpatuloy. "I can do anything but
that. Lila,
magdududa sila. Dude, I'm too handsome to be with—" Natawa siya bigla dahil binato
ko sa kanya ang
bote ng mineral water na nasa tabi ko.

"Huwag ka na lang magsalita kung wala kang sasabihing maganda," wika ko sa kanya.

"Hindi tayo mahuhuli na hindi tayo member ng clubhouse pero ang magpanggap na
boyfriend mo,
mahuhuli tayo," sagot niya. When I threw him a glare ay muli siyang natawa. "So,
para saan 'to?"

I sighed. "Can you just do it?"

"Alam mo? You just asked the perfect person for the job. Nagtataka nga sila bakit
ko balak mag-engineer
gayong sa pogi at acting skill ko, qualified akong artista!"

"Wow ha? Congrats," I said, rolling my eyes.

Tumawa ulit siya. "So, kailan ba iyan?"

"Tonight."

Sa pagkakataong ito ay muli siyang napapreno. Mabuti na lang at suot ko talaga ang
seatbelt ko dahil
kung hindi ay baka tumama na ang mukha ko sa dashboard ng sasakyan.

"That soon, huh?"

7/11
"That soon, huh?"

***

The night is alive and I pulled my skirt downward a few times. Nanginginig ang mga
kamay ko dahil baka
anomang oras ay mahuli kami sa kalokohan.

Ibinalik ng guard kay Crayon ang kanyang fake ID bago binuksan ang pinto.
Nagpatuloy naman ang huli
sa pagmaneho patungo sa clubhouse.

"Relax, De Lima. I told you I'm good with this," wika niya at bahagya akong
tinapunan ng tingin. Crayon
looks totally fine tonight, without his mask. He pulled the car to a stop on the
side at agad kaming
bumama. Sinalubong niya ako at inilahad ang kanyang braso. "Shall we?"

Tumango ako at umabrisete sa kanya. Bawat hakbang papasok sa clubhouse ay

napakabigat. Maingay
ang buong clubhouse pero mas naririnig ko pa tibok ng puso ko. We passed on a few
people and walks
towards the underground rooms where the big money is.

Ipinakita lamang ni Crayon ang kanyang fake ID sa bouncer at agad kaming pinapasok.
Iginala ko ang
paningin sa paligid at hinanap ang si Semper. He's nowhere to be found.

Lumapit si Crayon sa mesa kung saan naglalaro ng poker ang ilang naroon at agad
akong sumama. Hindi
pa rin mahagilap ng mga mata ko si Semper, gayunpaman ay naupo ako katabi ni
Crayon.

Nakipaglaro siya sa naroon at nanatili akong tahimik habang nakamasid. I felt my

phone vibrated from
my clutch at halos tumalon ang puso ko nang makitang si Semper ang tumatawag. I
sighed before
answering his call.

"Hello?"

"Hello— baby, where are you?" He asked sounded irritated. Marahil ay naririnig niya
ang maingay na
musika mula sa kabilang linya.

"At the clubhouse," walang gatol kong sagot. I have to do this. It's now or never.

"What? What are you doing there?" napansin ko ang bahagyang inis sa boses niya.

"Playing."

"What? Stay there, I'll be there in fifteen minutes."

8/11
"What? Stay there, I'll be there in fifteen minutes."

"No—" hindi ko natuloy ang sasabihin dahil agad niyang pinatay ang tawag. Napatitig
lamang ako sa
cellphone ko.

"Something wrong?" Tanong niya.

"I guess something's about to go wrong," sagot ko sa kanya. "No matter what
happens, don't leave me,
okay?"

Crayon stared at me bago tumango. "Noted." He pinched my nose bago nagpatuloy sa

paglalaro. Parang
hindi naman ako mapakali sa kinauupuan ko. I counted the minutes passing at mas
lalo akong
kinakabahan sa ginagawa ko.

Ilang minuto na akong nakaupo at hindi mapakali kaya nagpaalam muna ako kay Crayon
na lalanghap
ako ng hangin sa labas. I walked passed through the smoky air and crowds of people
dirty dancing on the
floor. Dinaanan ko rin ang ibang mga naglalaro at dumeretso na lamang sa labas ng
clubhouse.

Saktong paglabas ko ay nakasalubong ko si Semper. He doesn't look pleased. He wore

a black shirt and
black jeans with his black ball cap. White hairs can be seen, dangling on the cap.

Nagulat ako nang hinawakan niya ang braso ko at halos kaladkarin na ako papunta sa
kotse niya.

"Aray, ano ba, Semper? What are you doing?!" Piksi ko sa kanya. I rubbed the part
where his grip left a
red mark.

"Iuuwi kita," sagot niya. Tinangka niyang hawakan ulit ako ngunit agad kong naiwas
ang braso ko.

"Go away, Semper. stop making decisions for me."

Nagulat siya sa sinabi ko at napatitig siya sa mukha ko. "What?"

"We already broke up. Wala ka nang pakialam kung ano ang gagawin ko sa buhay ko."

His face turns blank. And I hate it if it is like that.

"We didn't break up, baby. You did break up with me, but I didn't agree to it.
Break up is a two-way
consent and I didn't agree to it. Kaya mas mabuti pang sumama ka na lamang sa akin
ay iuuwi kita."
Tinangka niyang hawakan ulit ang braso ko ngunit napaatras ako.
9/11
I let out a fake laughter. "Two-way? No. Ayaw ko na, Semper. It's over whether you
like it or not."

Napansin ko ang pagkuyom ng kamao niya. He removed his cap, brushed his hair with
his fingers in a
frustrated way bago muling sinuot ang cap. "Are you drunk?"

"I'm not."

"You're not thinking rationally, baby. Just... Let's just go home." His voice was
sweet at dahil doon ay
nanikip ang dibdib ko.

"Stop this, Semper. I really wanted you out my life. Ayaw ko na sa'yo. I told you
I'm just infatuated to
you. Mahirap bang intindihin iyon?" Pinigilan ko ang mga luha kong nagbabadyang
bumagsak. Sa bawat
salitang binibitawan ko ay parang napakaraming patalim ang sinasaksak sa dibdib ko.
Why does it hurt
me so much?

"You don't mean it." Kumbinsido niyang wika.

"I mean it. Mahirap ba iyong intindihin?" Iniwasan kong tumingin sa mga mata niya
dahil baka kapag
doon ako tumingin, I will lose.

Napatangis ang bagang niya habang nakatingin sa akin. He turned the brim of his cap
backward. "Maybe
I will help you realize that you're not just infatuated to me."

Sa gulat ko ay hinila niya ako palapit sa kanya. He cupped my cheeks and hungrily
claimed my lips.
Nanlaki ang mga mata ko. His mouth moved on mine with equal love and passion. He
kissed me hungrily
but gently. I never thought that could be possible. Pero buo na ang loob ko.

Marahas na tinulak ko siya ngunit hindi siya natinag. His eyes were gently pressed
as he keeps on
kissing me. His one arm snaked around my waist to pull me even closer. Bago pa man
ako matangay sa
mga halik niya ay ubod nang lakas na kinagat ko ang labi niya.

His mouth tasted blood at napabitaw siya sa akin. Umatras ako habang pinapanuod
siyang tiningnan
ang dumudugong labi. His jaw clenched as he looked at his blood on his thumb from
his lips.

"Ano ba ang mahirap intindihin sa sinabi ko, Semper? I told you, we're over. Can't
you just accept that
fact?" Pinigilan ko ang panginginig ng labi ko. Napakasakit ng bawat salitang
binibitawan ko. It probably
hurts me more than it hurts him.

"Violet, may problema ba rito?"

10/11
"Violet, may problema ba rito?"

Sabay kaming napatingin ni Semper sa kararating lang na si Crayon. Napakuyom ang

kamay ni Semper
nang makita ito. He was about to pull me ngunit nauna akong umatras at lumapit kay
Crayon. Kumapit
ako sa braso niya at hinarap si Semper.

"Everything's over between us, Semper, so please mind your own life."

11/11
CHAPTER 46: ACQUIANTANCE
wattpad.com/564306897-as-you-lie-awake-chapter-46-acquiantance/page/2

Chapter 46: Acquiantance

"Hoy, anong ginagawa mo riyan?"

Bahagya akong napaigtad nang marinig ang boses ni Nikki sa likuran ko. Umayos ako
ng tayo at
tiningnan siya. Nasa laboratory ako at sinisilip kung naroon ba si Semper.

"Hindi ko pa nakakausap si Semper mula noong Friday ng gabi. I made everything

clear that night,
nagpatulong pa ako kay Crayon," wika ko kasabay ng pagbuntong-hininga. Tatlong araw
na ang lumipas
ngunit hindi ko pa rin nakikita si Semper sa campus.

"Oh, ano bang ginawa ninyo ni Crayon?" She asked, a little bit uninterested.

"I made a decision Nikks, and hopefully it's a good one." Pinigilan ko ang
pagbagsak ng mga luha sa
mata ko pero nabigo ako. I forced a smile and wiped away the tears.

"Hala, bakit ka umiiyak?" Natatarantang tanong niya. "Are you okay, gerl?"

Bahagya akong natigilan. She sounded clueless about what I'm going through.
Tinapik-tapik pa niya ang
balikat ko.

I shook my head. "I broke up with Semper, dahil gaya ng sabi mo, it's for his own
good."

Biglang nabago ang ekspresyon ng mukha niya. Gone was her playful image at
napalitan iyon ng
kaseryosohan. Humigpit ang hawak niya sa akin at hinarap ako.
1/6
"What are you saying?"

Nagulat ako sa reaksyon niya at sinubukang tanggalin ang kamay niyang nakahawak sa
akin. "I just did
as what you've told me."

"What did I tell you?"

"Everything. Nikks, bitiwan mo ako," bahagya akong nataranta dahil sa kanya. Bigla
siyang naging iba.

"Anong pinagsasabi mo, Violet?"

"You told me about Semper right? The deadly sins, his punishment. He'll rot in hell
at magiging kuba!"
Inilayo ko ang sarili ko sa kanya at hinawakan ko ang braso kong humigpit ang hawak
niya. It formed red
marks on my skin.

"Violet, hindi ko sinabi sa iyo ang mga iyan," seryosong wika niya. "Tell me who
told you those things?"

Lumapit siya sa akin at bahagya naman akong napaatras. She's acting weird, what's
wrong with her?!

"Ikaw! You even said that you're my guardian!"

Bakas ang matinding gulat sa mukha niya. I never saw her as serious as this before.
She sighed and
looked awe.

"It wasn't me."

"What?"

2/6
"Hindi ako ang kausap mo."

Tila bomba iyon sa pandinig ko. Hindi siya— what? Everything's complicated right
now.

"Listen, Violet, I will only say this once at sana kahit na hindi mo na ito
maalala, bear in mind that I told
you the things that you need to know. Hindi ako ang kausap mo, and I don't know who
it is. Angels have
this ability of manipulating your mind kaya marahil ay ganoon ang nangyari. As of
Semper, he's here on
probation and if he will commit mistakes like human does, he will lose his wings
forever. Hindi totoong
magiging kuba siya, the greatest punishment is being human."

Naramdaman ko ang panginginit ng mga luha ko. "Nikks..."

Bahagya siyang natawa. "Hindi totoo ang pagiging kuba ng isang anghel, Marconi just
plotted that one
that's why he can be the hunchback and Sir Duane at the same time. They made Semper
believed that
crap. Ang kaparusahan ng mga anghel na lumabag sa batas ng langit ay ang pagiging
tao. Being human
means a sinner and falling short of the God's glory. Daraanan niya ang lahat ng mga
kahirapan sa buhay
ng tao and in the end regrets in giving up his wings."

Shit, what did I do?!

***

Ilang araw ko nang hindi nakikita si Semper at sa bawat araw na dumadaan ay mas
lalong bumibigat ang
dibdib ko dahil sa nangyari.

And tonight, I decided to correct my mistake. Huminga ako nang malalim at inabot
ang cellphone. I
dialed Crayon's number at matapos ang ilang ring ay agad niya iyong sinagot.

"What's up, De Lima?"

I sighed. "Busy ka ba ngayong gabi?"

3/6
"Nah, why?"

"Can I ask a favor, Crayon? Take me to to the clubhouse please at bawiin natin ang
sinabi ko kay
Semper," wika ko sa kanya.

Narinig ko ang pagbuntong-hininga niya sa kabilang linya. "Alright, De Lima, I'll

be there in fifteen
minutes."

I uttered 'thank you' bago pinatay ang tawag. I slipped into my jeans and pullover
at kinuha ang tennis
shoes ko. Nagpaalam ako kina Mama at Papa na may pupuntahan at hindi naman sila
nag-usisa pa kung
saan basta ba bumalik daw ako ng ligtas at buo. Meh, my parents are really weird at
times.

Nang makarating si Crayon ay binati ako ng nakangisi niyang mukha. He isn't wearing
his mask anymore
pero sa school ay palagi niya iyong suot.

Agad akong pumasok sa kotse niya at naupo.

"So, anong balak mo ngayong gabi?"

"I think apologizing is the best thing to do. Sa tingin mo, mapapatawad niya ako
dahil sa ginawa ko?"

Crayon shrugged his shoulders. "Hindi ko alam kung ano ang eksaktong nangyari pero
kung mahal ka
niya, papatawarin ka niya."

"But it doesn't mean he will accept me back, does it?" Malungkot na tanong ko.

"Ikaw ang nakakakilala sa kanya De Lima, you can answer your own question," sagot
niya sa akin at
binuhay ang makina ng sasakyan.

Sa kabuohan ng biyahe ay nanatili akong tahimik. Naglalaro sa isipan ko ang mga

posibilidad na maaring
mangyari. Totoo ba ang lahat ng iyon?

Na hindi totoong makukuba si Semper? Na anghel ko si Nikki? Hindi si Nikki ang

nakausap ko? Kung
totoo, then who is it? Ah! Mababaliw na yata ako sa dami ng mga naiisip ko.

Nakakalungkot isipin na mali pala ang ginawa ko. I hurt Semper. Pero baka tama si
Crayon. Kung mahal
niya talaga ako, he will forgive me.

Pero mahal nga ba niya ako? Or was it just human temptation? Nagkatawang tao si
Semper, prone to

4/6
Pero mahal nga ba niya ako? Or was it just human temptation? Nagkatawang tao si
Semper, prone to
committing sins. Maaring dahil lamang nasa marupok na katawan siya kaya niya
sinasabing mahal niya
ako.

"Crayon?"

"Yes?" Tanong niya at bahagya akong sinulyapan bago ibinalik ang tingin sa daan.

"Naniniwala ka sa mga anghel?"

"I don't know," sagot niya.

"May mga guardian angel daw tayo. They will guard and guide us against anything,"
wika ko.

"Like pain and sickness?"

"Yup," I replied.

"Nah, hindi na ako naniniwala. I've been bearing too much pain lately with Mary,
both pain and sickness.
Sa tingin mo, De Lima, may anghel kami?"

Hindi ko maiwasang mapabuntong-hininga. Seriously I don't know how to answer his

question. I don't
know how to make him feel better. Sa halip na sumagot ay isinandal ko na lamang ang
ulo ko sa bintana.
Crayon continued driving until he pulled to stopped im the parking lot of the club
house.

Bumaba ako ng kotse at siya namang paghinto ng isang pamilyar na kotse sa harap ko.
Semper get out
from the car and I almost forgot how to breathe.

He still looks devilishly handsome— I don't think if the adjective fits him but
that's how he is kahit pa isa
siyang anghel. His lifeless dark eyes still emit that alluring vibe na para bang
hihigupin ka ng mata
niyang tila walang buhay. His lips were arched sideways to form an annoying smirk.
His broad shoulders
make me reminisce the times where I used to rest my head there.

Bahagya niya akong tiningnan at sinalakay ako ng kaba. Hinugot ko ang lahat ng
lakas ng loob na meron
ako."S-semper, can we talk?"

Kumunot ang noo niya. He's mad at me at naiintindihan ko iyon. Hihingi na sana ako
ng tawad nang
bumukas ang shotgun ride ng kotse niya at lumabas doon ang isang babae.

5/6
"Who's that baby?" She asked while looking at me and Semper.

Napatingin na rin sa akin si Semper ngunit wala pa ring reaksyon. "No one, baby.
Just an old
acquaintance."

Nilagpasan niya ako at lumapit siya sa babae na agad namang kumapit sa braso niya.

"Let's go?" he asked.

The girl kissed him hard and they shared a passionate kiss before walking into the
Clubhouse's entrance.
And it felt like my heart was torn into tiny pieces.

6/6
CHAPTER 47: INTIMACY
wattpad.com/577130377-as-you-lie-awake-chapter-47-intimacy/page/4

Chapter 47: Intimacy

If only Crayon didn't support me, I would have breakdown and found myself on the
ground. Pinulupot ni
Crayon ang kanyang mga braso sa baywang ko at hinigpitan ang hawak sa akin.

"Don't." Iyon lamang ang sinabi niya at napakaseryso ng mukha niya habang tinatanaw
ang papalayong
si Semper kasama ang babae. Hindi ko magawang sulyapan sila dahil tila hinihiwa at
pinipiga ang puso
ko sa tuwing titingnan ko sila. The longer I stare, the more painful it becomes.

Hindi ko na napigilan ang pagdagsa ng luha ko. Nag-unahan ang mga iyon sa pag-agos
at natagpuan ko
na lamang ang sarili na nakasubsob sa dibdib ni Crayon. Damn. It hurts so bad. Kung
gaano kasakit ang
dinanas ko noon kay daven, pakiramdam ko ay sampung beses ang sakit na dulot ni
Semper sa akin
ngayon.

Hinayaan niya akong maiyak at wala siyang ibang sinabi. He just caressed my hair
and it felt so
comforting. Ilang sandal ay inayos ko ang sarili ko at humingi ng pasesnya sa
aknya.

"I'm sorry, nabasa na tuloy ang damit mo," nakayukong wika ko.

Crayon smiled at me. Iniangat niya ang mukha ko at pinahiran ang mga natitirang
luha. "Come on, let's
claim what's yours."

Hinawakan niya ang kamay ko at iginiya ako papunta sa clubhouse. Agad akong
natigilan at binawi ang
kamay ko. "Anong gagawin natin diyan?"

Crayon stared at me for a moment. Hindi siya ngumingiti mula kanina at ibang-iba
siya sa Crayon na
nakilala ko. The one who jokes nonsensically. The one who hides his sorrow behind
his mask. Ngayon ay
siya ang Crayon na hindi na nahihiyang ipakita ang emosyon niya. At sa nakikita ko
ngayon, galit at
pagkaawa ang mga emosyong iyon.

1/9
pagkaawa ang mga emosyong iyon.

"Just watch," wika niya. Muli niyang hinawakan ang kamay ko at pumasok kami sa loob
ng clubhouse.

Walang nabago sa loob maliban na lamang sa tila mas maraming tao ngayon kaysa noong
una kong
punta rito. Hindi namin makita sina Semper sa paligid ngunit maya-maya ay hinila
ako ni Crayon papunta
sa underground.

Gaya sa receiving hall ay wala pa ring nagbago doon. Crayon just showed the
membership card kung
kaya't hindi na kami hinarang ng bouncer. I scanned the place with my eye and
caught Semper on a
table, playing cards with a nasty looking man. Nasa gilid naman niya ang babae at
tila ahas kung
makadila sa tainga ni Semper.

Nang naglakad si Crayon palapit doon ay nanigas ako si kinatatayuan ko. He stopped
and looked at me
bago ako muling hinila. Pagdating namin sa tapat ng mesa ay naglapag ng ilang one
thousand bills si
crayon. I saw how Semper looked up at us. His dull eyes remained dull and dark.
Mula sa pagkakatingala
sa amin ay bumaba ang tingin niya sa mga kamay namin ni Crayon na magkahawak.

"Poker, one game," wika ni Crayon.

Nakipagsukatan ng tingin si Semper sa kanya. Narinig kong napasipol ang kalaro ni

Semper bago ito
tumayo at nii-offer ang upuan kay Crayon. Naupo roon si Crayon, pulling me on his
side kung kaya't
nakaupo rin ako sa tabi niya, directly across Semper and his girl.

I don't know how card games work pero nanatili akong tahimik habang nakamasid sa
laro nila. May iilan
din na nakapalibot sa amin at nakatingin. I don't know what Crayon exactly wants at
hindi ko rin alam
kung bakit pumayag si Semper sa kalokohang ito. Just to kill some time o para
lamang pagselosin ako sa
babaeng halik nang halik sa kanya?

"Sorry, but poker is a game of skill, not of chance," wika ni Semper at inilapag
ang huling card.
Komportableng sumandal siya at inilapag naman ni Crayon ang lahat ng chip na meron
siya.

"Alright, I concede defeat in this game. How about raising the stakes and ignoring
the rules?" Tanong ni
Crayon.
2/9
Napatingin ng diretso sa kanya si Semper. "Anong ibig mong sabihin?"

Crayon smirked. "You know what I mean. Money on the pot is too boring. How about
partners?"

Semper's lips twitched. Maging ang babaeng kasama niya ay napatingin kay Crayon.
Dahan-dahan
naman akong napatingin sa kanya. What's his plan?! I wriggled my brows at him na
para bang
tinatanong kung ano ang gusto niyang mangyari. He grabbed my hand and kissed it.
Nanlaki ang mga
mata ko sa ginawa niya. What the hell?

Nang sulyapan ko si Semper ay walang nagbago sa emosyon ng mukha niya. He's really
good at
maintaining that poker face or he just doesn't care at all. Either of the two.

Crayon smirked. "If I win, that girl will be mine for tonight. JUST TONIGHT." He
pointed on the girl on
Semper's side. Hindi ko alam pero mukhang natuwa yata ang babae. Uh, slut. Sabagay,
Crayon's not
bad.

"Kapag nanalo ako?" Tanong ni Semper.

"Simple, you'll keep that girl and whatever I'm planning to do with her, I'll do it
on this girl instead,"
sagot ni Crayon at hinawi ang buhok ko.

"That is not a win-win situation," wika ni Semper.

"Why not? We both wanted the same girl. Your girl," muli niyang tinuro ang babae.
"This is a matter of
having what I want and protecting what's yours. Basing on your skills, I'm sure it
will not be hard for
you."

Semper's jaw clenched at hindi ko alam kung para saan ang smirk na nasa mukha ni
Crayon ngayon. His
eyes didn't leave Semper's hanggang sa pumayag na ang huli.

"Deal."

Nagsimula na naman silang maglaro. The girl on Semper's side batted her eyelashes
at tila feel na feel
niya ang moment na siya ang pot sa larong iyon. Sa ikalawang laro nila ay hindi ko
pa rin lubusang
maintindihan ang laro.

3/9
maintindihan ang laro.

Nagulat ako nang bigla na lamang akong kinabig ni Crayon at niyakap. Nagtatakang
napatingin ako sa
kanya at bago pa man ako makapagtanong kung bakit ay nauna na siyang magsalita.

"They say good poker players always place their cards near their chests," wika niya
sa akin. Hindi ko
tuloy alam kung ano ang ibig sabihin niyon. Sa ilang minutong pagkakaupo namin roon
ay wala pa yata
akong nasabi. Bakit nga ba ako pumayag sa mga pinaggagawa ni Crayon?

I should be somewhere, saving my heart from all the pain I feel tonight. Bakit mas
lalo ko lamang
sinasaktan ang sarili ko? I sighed heavily and stared at Semper. Nanatili akong
nakatingin sa kanya at ni
isang beses ay hindi man lamang niya ako tinapunan ng tingin.

Kailangan bang ganoon ang gawin niya? Why doesn't he listen to my side first? Sa
tingin ko ay parehas
lamang kaming biktima ng kung sino mang nagpanggap na Nikki. And whoever it is, I
need to find out
who.

Pero ngayong nakikita ko na tila wala talagang pakialam si Semper sa akin. Gusto
kong iligtas ang sarili
ko. Pinisil ko ang tuhod ni Crayon kaya napatingin siya sa akin.

"Let's go," wika ko sa kanya, giving him a pleading look. Tinitigan niya ako saglit
bago siya tumago na
tila ba nababasa na niya ang iniisip ko. Tama na, ayaw ko nang ipagpilitan pa ang
sarili ko.

But to our surprise, Semper pushed the chips to Crayon's side. "My cheap-shot
didn't work. I lost."

Tumayo siya sa kinauupuan at dahil nakakandong sa kanya ang babae ay agad din itong
napatayo. He
pushed her towards our direction at mas lalo akong nagulat nang hinila niya ako
patayo, pulling him
towards him.

"Enjoy your night," wika ni Semper at hinawakan ako nang mahigpit bago hinila
palabas sa underground.
Napakabilis nang mga nangyari at ngayon ay nilagpasan na namin ang kumpol ng mga
taong
sumasayaw sa tugtog. Hindi ko na rin nagawang magpaalam kay Crayon at ni hindi man
lamang
gumawa ng paraan si Crayon upang iligtas ako mula kay Semper.

Semper pulled me until we went out the club house. Hila-hila pa rin niya ako
hanggang sa marating
naming ang tapat ng kotse niya. He opens the shotgun ride and commanded me.

4/9
"Get inside."

Napakalamig ng boses niya. I always thought his voice and everything about him was
dull enough but it
only become duller this time.

"B-bakit?" Natatakot na tanong ko. No, I wasn't afraid of him. I am more scared of
myself because I
might stoop down and beg him to get back to me.

"I thought you wanted to talk."

Oh yes, I'd love to but does he want to?

Hindi ako nagsalita at pumasok na lamang sa kotse. He closed the door beside me at
pinagpipisil ko
naman ang mga tuhod ko. Bakit ba ako kinakabahan? Pumasok na siya sa sasakyan at
pinaandar ang
makina.

"S-semper―"

He cut me off. "Let's talk later."

Hindi ko alam kung ano baa ng nararamdaman niya sa mga sandaling ito. Tumango na
lamang ako at
nanatiling tahimik. I kept my gaze outside at manaka-nakang tinitingnan siya mula
sa salamin. His hair is
almost white, except for some strands that falls right on his forehead. Muli kong
ibinaling sa labas ang
atensyon ko at nag-isip ng mga nais kong sabihin sa kanya mamaya.

After a few moments, he pulled the car to stop and it was in front of his
apartment. Bumaba siya ng
kotse at hindi na ako naghintay na pagbuksan niya kaya bumaba na rin ako. Lumapit
siya sa akin at
hinawakan ang braso ko at iginiya ako papasok sa gate. He jammed the keys on the
door while his other
hand is still holding me tight. Saka lamang niya ako binitiwan nang tuluyan na
niyang mabuksan ang
pinto at hinila ako papasok sa loob. He locked the door at hindi ko alam kung bakit
nabalot ako ng kaba
nang isinarado niya ulit ang pinto.

He tossed the keys on the table and removed his black shirt. Agad akong nag-iwas ng
tingin sa kanya.
Pumunta siya sa kusina at kumuha ng malamig na tubig at ininom iyon. That's right.
He just felt hot
that's why he stripped and no other reason. Oh God, kung anu-ano ang pinag-iisip
ko!

"Sit back and relax, Violet," wika niya. Kumuha siya ng baso at nilagyan iyon ng
tubig bago bumalik sa
sala. Hindi naman kalakihan ang apartment niya at halos magkarugtong lamang ang
sala at kusina kaya
malaya ko siyang nakikita.

I nodded my head and sat. Inilapag niya ang baso sa harapan ko at hindi pa man niya
iyon ni-offer sa
5/9
I nodded my head and sat. Inilapag niya ang baso sa harapan ko at hindi pa man niya
iyon ni-offer sa
akin ay agad ko iyong kinuha at ininom. It's just that I felt hot too. Nang makita
niyang naubos ko ang
tubig ay muli niyang kinuha ang baso at bumalik sa kusina upang lagyan ulit iyon.

His back came to my sight. Same beautiful scars that I love to trace my fingers
through. And what did he
call me a while ago? Violet? What happened to baby?

Nang makabalik siya ay inilapag niya ulit ang baso sa harapan ko at naupo sa sofa
na kinauupuan ko.
The sofa is long at hindi ako komportable sa munting espasyo sa pagitan naming
dalawa.

"Pwede ka nang magsalita," wika niya.

Napayuko ako. Sa dami ng gusto kong sabihin ay hindi ko alam kung saan ako
magsisimula. Gusto kong
bawiin ang ginawa ko sa kanya. Gusto kong sabihin na hindi ko sinasadya ang mga
ginawa at nasabi ko.
Gusto kong sabihin sa kanya na hindi siya magiging kuba. Napakarami!

"W-who is she?" Shit, hindi ito ang gusto kong unahin pero iyon ang kusang lumabas
sa bibig ko. Ngayon
ay ayaw kong marinig kung ano man ang sagot niya.

"No one, just no one," sagot niya na nagpagaan sa dibdib ko. I didn't expect that
answer but thank
goodness.

"You caledl her, baby."

"I don't know her name," simpleng sagot niya.

"You kissed her," nakayukong wika ko.

"She kissed me first."

"Pero gumanti ka. You kissed her back," wika ko sa kanya.

"That's right."

Tila diniinan ang kutsilyo na nakatarak sa dibdib ko. He didn't deny it. I should
be relieved pero mas
nanaig ang nararamdaman kong sakit. Hindi ko na alam kung ano pa ang sasabihin kaya
nanatili na

6/9
nanaig ang nararamdaman kong sakit. Hindi ko na alam kung ano pa ang sasabihin kaya
nanatili na
lamang akong tahimik.

"I can kiss anyone I like," wika niya. "Just in case you forgot, you broke up with
me."

Kinagat ko ang pang-ibabang labi ko. "And I'm sorry for that. Nagkamali ako Semper,
it was something I
did para sa ikabubuti mo pero mali ako."

"You never trusted me," wika niya sa boses na tila may hinanakit. Tama siya. Hindi
nga ako nagtiwala sa
kanya. I was easily fooled. Shame on me.

"I know. I'm sorry." Hindi ko na alam kung kaya ko pa bang sabihin ang lahat. The
problem isn't the
matter of the things said to me anymore. Hindi na ang tungkol sa mga hindi totoong
bagay ang isyu
ngayon. The matter here is the amount of trust I have for him.

Sabi nila, you can trust without loving but you cannot love without trusting. This
is still a big question for
me until I realized that it talks about different kinds of love. And in this love I
felt for Semper, I should
have trusted him but I didn't. At kapag usapang tiwala na, I acknowledge my
mistake.

"S-sorry," wika ko at tumayo na. "I have to go."

Tumayo na rin siya at nanatiling nakatingin sa akin. I walked passed him and he
grabbed my hand and
swung me back. He then pushed me against the wall and started kissing me as his
arms snaked around
my waist. He kissed me with hunger and intensity that all I felt were fireworks
exploding everywhere.
Isinara ko ang mga mata ko at tila lahat ng nasa paligid ay biglang naglaho. Ang
alam ko lamang ay
hinahalikan niya ako. His lips tasted the same and always provide me the best
feeling that I could ever
feel. His breath was a mixture of smoke and alcohol that just intoxicate me and
take away all the sanity
in me.

He pushed himself more into me and his hips pinned me on the wall. I kissed him
back with equal
eagerness. A slow moan escaped, and I do not have time to think if that moan was
mine. He pulled his
lips, but our forehead still touched. I slowly opened my eyes and he was this close
that if I pout, my lips
will touch his lips again. I realized I wasn't the only one who was breathing so
hard. Maging siya rin pala
at ngayon ay hinahabol niya ang hininga niya. It only lasted for a second dahil
muling sumalakay ang
mga labi niya sa labi ko. Exploring, caving in and tasting every part of my lips.
The kisses were sweet and
wet, something that has enough power in me that made me grabbed his hair to make
him deepen it
more. The kiss was hot and deep, but I still want more. It was so addictive that I
do not know what to do.
Pinaglalakumos ko lamang ang buhok niya at tila nagustuhan naman niya iyon.

His kisses started to become slow but still as passionate as ever. He gently trails
wet kisses down to my
jaw. His other hand slid up to my neck. Hinawi niya ang buhok ko, giving himself an
access to my neck.
And I must admit it, it was one of the best feelings ever. The kind that sent
shivers throughout my whole
body.
7/9
Umakyat ang halik niya sa tainga ko. His tongue trails the inside of my ears and
shit, I don't know how to
react. Dumaosdos ang kamay ko mula sa buhok niya pababa sa kanyang likod. I felt
the bumps on his
back, and like his kisses, the scars felt so good in my skin. Muling bumaba sa leeg
ko ang labi niya. I
tipped my head back, welcoming him and giving him full access.

He sucked on my skin and kissed it, sucked it again and planted a wet kiss. "I want
you," he whispered
on my ears. His voice was full of pleasure that I know nothing but to oblige. I bit
my lower lip and lifted
my arms.

"T-take my s-shirt off," wika ko sa kanya.

His dark eyes compliment his white hair and I saw the pleasure slowly walked in.
Hinawakan niya ang
laylayan ng damit ko at saglit na nag-alangan. After a while, he pulled it off. His
eyes wandered from my
shoulders down to my brassiere, then to my waist and navel. Hinawakan ko ang
waistline ng suot kong
palda para tanggalin iyon pero hinawakan niya ang kamay ko.

"Let me," wika niya at kagatlabing napabitaw ako. His hands trailed my waist down
to the waistband of
my skirt, unbuttoning and unzipping it. Pakiramdam ko dudugo na ang labi ko sa
tindi ng pagkagat ko
upang pigilan ang labis na pagkahiya. My skirt fell on the floor, leaving me in my
tiny garments.

Niyakap ko ang sarili ko ngunit pinigilan niya ako.

"Don't," wika niya. He tipped my head and made me face him. "The word beautiful is
just too plain to be
used, baby."

Naramdaman kong namula ako. He pulled down my arms that I used to cover my body and
he leaned
closer, planting a sweet kiss in between my breasts. Napahawak ako sa balikat niya
dahil pakiramdam
ko ay hindi ko na kayang suportahan ang sarili ko. My body shivered upon the
contact of his lips on my
sensitive skin.

He pulled down one strap, gently trailing his lips on my shoulder. This is torture.
Too much torture. My
hand pulled his hair when he started planting kisses on top of my breasts. He
started sucking and kissing
it like what he did to my neck at mas lalo lamang nanghina ang mga tuhod ko. Semper
felt it because he
reached for the back of my thighs. Itinaas niya iyon at ipinaikot sa beywang niya.
I was hesitant at first
because it felt so intimate and I am only wearing my underwear.

Ngunit mas nanaig ang apoy na nasa pagitan namin. When my leg wrapped around his
waist, he lifted
me up and now both my legs were around him. I felt my back left the wall and he
started kissing me as
he walked. He opened a door and I was too carried away in this sensation to guess
which door it was
until I felt my back touched the soft bed.
8/9
The next thing that happened is that the room was filled with moans, my weeping in
pain and pleasure
and Semper telling me 'I love you'.

9/9
CHAPTER 48: THANK YOU
wattpad.com/582565668-as-you-lie-awake-chapter-48-thank-you/page/3

Chapter 48: Thank You

I woke up hearing low breathing and when I opened my eyes, I realized that it was
Semper's.
Nakapatong ang ulo ko sa dibdib niya at nakayakap ang kamay niya sa beywang ko. He
was soundly
sleeping and staring at his face, it was really angelic. Kapag nakapikit siya ay
mala-anghel ang mukha
niya and yeah, he used to be.

Kung gising naman, he still looks like an angel but a naughty one. Given his dull
eyes and cold, dark
stares no one would suspect he is an angel.

My body felt sore and I blushed upon the thoughts of what happened in this very
room. I pulled the
sheets to cover my body at mas lalo kong inilapit ang tingin sa mukha ni Semper.

This is the face of the man I love, and I never regretted anything. Tiningnan ko
ang bawat sulok ng
mukha niya, telling myself how perfect he is. Napadako ang tingin ko sa kanyang
buhok. It was totally
white now. Gone were the remaining black strands.

I checked his hair by his forehead at nagising siya. Ngumiti siya nang matamis sa
akin at gumanti ako ng
ngiti sa kanya.

"Hello," bati niya habang dahan-dahang minumulat ang mata. "So far, this is the
most comfortable sleep
I have ever experienced." He leaned to plant a kiss at the tip of my nose.

"Semper... ang buhok mo." Nothing's wrong with it, I mean kahit orange o anong
kulay pa ang buhok
niya, he can pull it through. His black turned white hair is just so disturbing.
"Did you really dye it?"

Hinawakan din niya ang sariling buhok. "I don't know why this happens. Sinubukan
kong pakulayan ng
itim pero muling bumabalik ang kulay."
1/10
"It has completely turned white," wika ko sa kanya.

"You don't like me with a white hair?" tanong niya sa tila nagtatampo na boses.

"No, that's not it. Kahit kalbo ka pa— but please, don't be— I will like you no
matter what."

Ngumiti siya at niyakap ako nang mahigpit. "Baby, I'm really happy."

"Me too."

Hinalikan niya ang noo ko at niyakap ako nang mahigpit. I blushed upon the thoughts
of what happened
ngunit agad namang napamura sa isipan. Shit! Hinahanap na ako ngayon nina Mommy!

Bigla akong napatayo at hinila ang kumot. "Patay ako kina Mommy!"

Bumangon siya at bahagyang kinusot ang kanyang mga mata. "Don't worry about them,
baby. We'll go
and see them."

"What? No!" Hello? Lagot ako kapag nalaman nilang nasa bahay ako ng lalaki buong
magdamag! Pinulot
ko ang mga nagkalat kong damit at hinila ang kumot papasok sa banyo at agad na
nagbihis.

Nang lumabas ako ng banyo ay nakapagbihis na ako samantalang nasa kama pa rin si
Semper— not
minding his naked glory. Nag-iwas ako ng tingin sa kanya at inihagis ang kumot.

"I need to go," paalam ko.

I heard him groan in protest. "Stay for a while, baby."

2/10
"Semper, no."

"Please?" He sounded so sweet. I sighed and looked at him ngunit agad din namang
nag-iwas ng tingin
nang mapagtantong nakahiga pa rin siya sa kama at walang pakialam sa kahubaran
niya.

"Semper! Get dressed or kahit takpan mo man lamang ang sarili mo!" Bahagya kong
pinaypayan ng mga
kamay ko ang sarili nang makaramdam ako ng panginginit. Shit.

I heard him move at mayamaya ay tinakpan niya ang sarili ng kumot. "Stay for a
while, baby."

"I can't."

"Please?"

I looked at him and shook my head. His head lie flat on the white sheets. Ang puti
niyang buhok ay
bumagay sa puting unan at kobre kama. His white hair still bothered me that much.

"Babalik ako mamaya, okay?" Wika ko at hindi pinansin ang pagpout niya. I grabbed
my bag and dashed
out the door. Medyo nainis ako na hindi man lamang niya ako hinatid kahit dito man
lamang sa labas ng
kanyang apartment.

I immediately found a taxi at nagpahatid sa bahay. Pagdating ko ay bahagyang nag-

usisa si Mommy
kung saan ako galing. Medyo naguilty ako nang sinabi kong nag-overnight ako sa
kaklase ko dahil may
tinapos kaming proyekto. This is the first time I lied to them like this at
kinakain ako ng guilt.

Agad akong naghanda sa pagpasok. Hindi pa rin nagpaparamdam sa text man lamang si
Crayon. I have
no idea what happened to him last night after Semper and I left.

Pagdating ko sa klase ay inabala ko ang sarili ko. I shut my mind from the memories
of last night dahil

3/10
Pagdating ko sa klase ay inabala ko ang sarili ko. I shut my mind from the memories
of last night dahil
namumula lamang ako sa tuwing naaalala ko iyon. Matapos ang unang klase ko ay
hinintay ko si Nikki sa
cafeteria ngunit wala siya. I want to talk to her seriously pero missing in action
siya these past days.

Inilabas ko na lamang ang cellphone at tinawagan si Crayon. I asked him a favor

last night so it would
only be right to check on him. Matapos ang tatlong ring ay agad niyang sinagot ang
tawag.

"Yes, who's this please?" Sagot niya.

I mentally rolled my eyes. "Hindi bagay sa'yo, Crayon."

Narinig ko ang tawa niya mula sa kabilang linya. "So, how was heaven last night,
Lila?"

I blushed. Heaven— what the?!

"Crayon!"

Muli siyang tumawa. "What?!"

"You perv!"

"Perv what? Oh God, Lila, don't tell me—"

"Shut up!" Damn, how could I even make it more obvious. Sinubukan ko na lamang na
ibahin ang
usapan. "Where are you?"

"Behind you."

I immediately looked back at nasa likuran ko nga siya. He waved his hand holding
his phone bago iyon
pinatay at lumapit sa akin.

"Grabe, Lila, you're blushing that much to the point na nakikita kong namumula ka
kahit nakatalikod ka,"
biro ni Crayon nang pumwesto na siya sa harapan ko.

"Shut up, Alarcon. Hindi ka nakatutuwa," irap ko sa kanya.

He smiled this time. Himala, hindi na niya suot ang kanyang mask. "So, ayos na ba
kayong dalawa?" I
nodded my head as a reply. "The guy really likes you to the point na nagpatalo
siya."
4/10
"Nagpatalo?" tanong ko.

"Yup. Lila, anong alam ko sa poker?" He asked, shaking his shoulders.

My eyes widen. "Seryoso?" He nodded his head. Halos hindi ako makapaniwala sa
nalaman. Maybe
Semper loves me so much. Pero hindi ko pa rin maiwasang mangamba sa ano man ang
kahihinatnan
naming dalawa.

Nikki said that the greatest punishment is being human— susceptible to sinning.
Nagkakasala nga ang
mga anghel, tao pa kaya? Hindi ko alam pero parang walang kasiguraduhan kung ano
ang magiging
bukas namin ni Semper.

I love him so much and I know he loves me too— but to what extent, hindi ko alam.

"Lila, are you there?" Pitik ni Crayon sa harapan ko. Nawaglit sa isipan ko ang
tungkol kay Semper at pilit
na ngumiti ako sa kanya.

"Yup!"

"I'm going to see Mary. Did you want to tag along?" Tanong niya.

Inalala ko muna kung may mga importante ba akong gagawin at wala naman. Isa pa,
Semper is not
here. Mukhang wala na yata siyang balak na bumalik sa trabaho. I cannot contact him
too at ayaw ko
namang maging atat at puntahan siya sa apartment.

"Let's go!"

Sumama ako kay Crayon sa ospital upang bisitahin si Mary. Nauna na si Crayon at
sinabi kong susunod
lang ako dahil tumunog ang cellphone ko at kailangan ko iyong sagutin.

"Hello?"

"Baby, where are you?"

5/10
My heart suddenly leaped when I heard Semper's voice. Hindi ko inaasahang tatawag
siya. Sa katunayan
ay hinahanda ko ang sarili ko na bigla na naman siyang mawawala dahil magsusugal o
kung ano mang
makamundong bagay na nais niyang gawin.

"Nasa ospital—"

"What? Bakit? Anong nangyari sa'yo?" He sounded really worried.

"Baby, I'm fine may sinamahan lang ako," sagot ko sa kanya.

"Anong sabi mo?"

"Sabi ko may sinamahan lang ako," sagot ko sa kanya.

"No, not that. What did you call me?"

"Baby."

I heard him gasped on the other line. "Can you say that again? It feels so good to
hear."

Hindi ko maiwasang mapangiti. Meh, don't tell me he already has fetish of me

calling him baby? "No, I'll
let you crave for it."

"You are cruel," sagot niya. "Anyway, sigurado ka bang ayos ka lang? Sino ang
kasama mo?"

"I'm with Crayon."

I heard him growl. "Why are you with him? Go home right away."

"Semper, bibisitahin lang namin sa ospital ang girlfriend," sagot ko sa kanya.

"But, baby—"

"You don't trust me?" I asked. Narinig ko ang pagbuntong hininga niya.

"I trust you, baby. But not that guy. When will you be home? When will you formally
introduce me to
your parents?" Sunod-sunod na tanong niya na ikinagulat ko. He wants to meet my
parents formally?!

6/10
your parents?" Sunod-sunod na tanong niya na ikinagulat ko. He wants to meet my
parents formally?!

"Ha? Bakit mo naman sila kailangang ma-meet?" Tanong ko.

"I need to take responsibilities, baby," sagot niya.

I blushed upon the thought. "Don't you dare tell them about what happened!" Jusko,
ano na lamang ang
iisipin nila Dad?!

Narinig ko ang pagtawa niya at mas lalo lamang akong namula. "But seriously, I will
see your parents
tonight, baby."

Napabuntong-hininga ako. "Okay. But don't talk too much, okay?"

"Okay," sagot niya. "I'll hang up now. Bye, baby."

"Bye," sagot ko.

"Baby?" he called in a gentle voice.

"Yes?"

"I love you."

Those three words made me teary-eyed. Kinagat ko ang pang-ibabang labi at pinigilan
ang sarili kong
humikbi. Why do those words coming from him move me that much? Dahil ba pakiramdam
ko ay
punong-puno iyon ng emosyon?

"Baby?" he called out when I didn't reply.

"I love you too, Semper. I love you so much," sagot ko sa kanya.

"No, I love you more, Violet," wika niya sa matatag na boses. "I love you so much
and I never knew I
could feel that much."

Muli ay parang hinaplos ang puso ko sa bawat salitang binitiwan niya. Bago pa man
kami magtalo kung
sino ang mas nagmamahal sa amin ay pinatay ko na ang tawag at sumunod kay Crayon sa
silid ni Mary.
7/10
Kumatok ako ng tatlong beses bago binuksan ang pinto at natagpuan kong sinusubuan
ni Mary ng prutas
si Crayon.

"Violet!" Masiglang bati sa niya akin. "Buti naman at sumama ka! Nakakasawa kasi na
si Cray lang ang
dumadalawa sa akin," biro ni Mary at ngumiwi naman si Crayon.

"Bakit ka naman magsasawa sa hitsurang ito?" Sabi ni Crayon at inialok sa akin ang
upuan. He sat on the
bed with Mary.

Ngumiti si Mary sa akin. "Natutuwa talaga ako na may kaibigan na si Cray ngayon.
Thank you for making
him step out of his comfort zone, Violet."

Ginagap ni Mary ang kamay ko at hinawakan ako ng mahigpit. Ngumiti ako ng ngiti sa
kanya. Tumayo
naman si Crayon at nagpaalam.

"Bibili muna ako ng pagkain para sa ating tatlo," wika niya. "Mary, be good to
Violet, ah?"

Tumawa lamang si Mary habang tinanaw si Crayon na lumabas ng pinto. Nang tuluyan
itong makaalis ay
naramdaman kong humigpit ang hawak ni Mary sa akin. Gone were her smiles na tila
kay tamis kanina
at napalitan iyon ng pagkabahala.

"Violet, I really worried of what he will become kung sakaling mawala na ako," wika
ni Mary.

"Mary, wag ka ngang magsalita ng ganyan!" Hinawakan ko ang isang kamay niyang
nakahawak sa isang
kamay ko. "You will fight your sickness. You will live with him, right? Bubuo kayo
ng pamilya."

Biglang naluha si Mary. "That's what I used to dream about pero naisip ko, kung
gagawa kami ng
pamilya, mas marami lamang akong masasaktan at maiiwan kung sakali."

"Mary, be positive, okay? Gagaling ka," wika ko sa kanya.

"Hopefully a miracle will happen," sabi niya kasabay ng isang mapait na ngiti. "But
I feel like God has
forsaken me."

"Hindi iyan totoo, Mary. Don't think that way," pagpapatatag ko sa kanya.

"Kasi kung hindi niya ako pinabayaan, bakit kailangang ako pa ang magkaroon ng
ganitong sakit? Bakit
kailangan ko pang magkaroon ng iba pang sakit kahit may sakit na ako? Can't you see
it, Violet?
Pinabayaan na ako ng Diyos." Nagsimula na siyang umiyak kaya napatayo ako at pilit
siyang inalo.

8/10
Pinabayaan na ako ng Diyos." Nagsimula na siyang umiyak kaya napatayo ako at pilit
siyang inalo.

"That's not true okay? Alam mo bang bawat isa sa atin ay mayroon tayong guardian
angel?" Hopefully, I
can make her feel better.

"I've stopped believing in them since I was seven," wika ni Mary.

Iniangat ko ang mukha niya at pinahid ang kanyang mga luha. "Totoo yun. We have
guardian angels who
guard us daily. Nasa paligid lamang sila and you know what? I'll tell you a secret.
My guardian angel is
my bestfriend. Nand'yan siya palagi para sa akin at nililigtas niya ako sa
kapahamakan at sa paggawa ng
kasalanan."

"You're telling me about angels, hindi na ako bata para maniwala sa kanila," sabi
niya. "But thanks,
Violet. Alam mo, sabi nila kapag namatay raw ang tao ay nagiging anghel sila. Don't
you think kapag
namatay ako ay magiging anghel ako? That way, I can guard Crayon," nakangiting sabi
niya.

"Mary! Wag ka ngang magbiro ng ganyan. Gagaling ka, okay?"

"But I like the idea of me becoming an angel for Cray," wika niya. She gave me a
sweet smile.

"Can you keep a secret?" Tanong ko sa kanya.

"Sure! It's safe with me lalo na't makakalimutan ko rin iyon dahil sa sakit ko,"
wika niya at tumawa. She
laughed at it ngunit alam kong mabigat na ang pakiramdam niya.

"My boyfriend is an angel. He gave up his wings to be human."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Naguguluhang tanong niya.

"That's just it. So, you don't have to be dead to be an angel for Crayon, okay?
Kasi mas maganda pa rin
na magkasama kayong dalawa."

Tumawa siya at kapagkuway binuksan ang drawer na nasa gilid niya. Naglabas siya
roon ng isang
journal. Kinuha rin niya ang ballpen na nakaipit doon at nagsulat.

"What's that?" Tanong ko sa kanya habang nagsusulat.

"This is my journal. Dito ko sinusulat ang magagandang alaala na gusto kong balik-
balikan. Thank you,
Violet, for making me feel better. Kapag isang araw sinalakay ako ng early onset
Alzheimer's ko, I will
just look at these pages. Thank you for occupying a page here."

9/10
just look at these pages. Thank you for occupying a page here."

10/10
CHAPTER 49: DISCOMFORT
wattpad.com/621404640-as-you-lie-awake-chapter-49-discomfort/page/2

Chapter 49: Discomfort

Iminulat ko ang mga mata ko dahil sa pakiramdam na tila may nagmamasid sa akin sa
pagtulog ko.
Bahagya akong ngumiti at pinanatiling nakasara ang mga mata ko. It must be Semper.
I prepared
myself for his kiss on my forehead like he always does kapag pinupuntahan niya ako
sa kwarto ko. Since
it's impossible for him to invade my dreams anymore, dinadalaw na niya ako sa silid
ko.

It took a little while pero walang halik sa noo ko. I was starting to feel uneasy
at the moment. Something
that I never felt kapag nandito si Semper. Binuksan ko ang mga mata ko at bumangon
sa kama. A cold
gust of wind welcomed my skin at nanayo ang mga balahibo ko nang makitang nakabukas
ang bintana. I
am pretty sure I locked it before I slept. A chilling sensation filled my body sa
hindi ko alam na rason.
Tumayo ako at tiningnan ang labas.

Napakatahimik ng paligid. Napakatahimik na naging rason para matakot ako. Maliwanag

ang buwan at
kahit alulong ng aso ay walang ingay sa labas. I closed my windows immediately and
jumped back to
bed. Kinuha ko ang cellphone mula sa bedside table at tinawagan si Semper. I called
his phone few times
but he only answered it after the third dial.

"Baby?" He asked in a husky, sleepy voice.

"Tulog ka?" Kinakabahang tanong.

"Mmm, why?"

Nanlamig ang mga kamay ko. "No. Nothing, baby. Go back to sleep."

Hindi ko na hinintay ang sagot niya at agad na pinatay ang tawag. I stared at my
phone in disbelief.
Kung tulog si Semper, sino ang naramdaman kong nakatitig sa akin habang tulog ako?
Hind kaya
nagkakamali lang ako? But I know it when someone stares at me. Everyone feels it.
Isa pa ay ang

1/8
nagkakamali lang ako? But I know it when someone stares at me. Everyone feels it.
Isa pa ay ang
bintana. Siguradong-sigurado ako na isinara ko iyon!

Muli akong nahiga at ipinikit ang mga mata ko pero mulat na mulat ang diwa ko. I
tossed and turn in my
bed, but the god of sleep already forsaken me. Tumunog ang cellphone ko kaya agad
ko iyong tiningnan.
A text message from Crayon.

Stitch
Yo, ya awake?
1:27 a.m.

I was battling with myself whether to reply or not pero sa huli ay pinili kong
sumagot sa text message
niya. Hindi rin naman ako makatulog dahil sa nangyari so I better find a way to
make me feel at ease.

What?
1:30 a.m.

Stitch
So ya rlly awake
1:30 a.m.

Obviously.
Bat gsing ka pa?
1:31a.m.

Stitch
No i'm asleep
1:31 a.m.

I rolled my eyes and tossed my phone on the side. Kahit madaling araw ay walang
pakundangan sa
kalokohan si Crayon. My phone beeped again so i immediately checked it.

Stitch
This is me

2/8
This is me
Sleeptxting
1:32 a.m.

Ok
1:32 a.m.

Stitch
Lila could you
Just put a
Little care on it?
1:32 a.m.

OK little care
1:32 a.m.

Stitch
Ur learning from me
Dat's good
So proud of u Dizon
1:33 a.m.

U sleep
1:33 a.m.

Stitch
Can't sleep
1:33 a.m.

Crayon lie down

Close ur eyes
1:34 a.m.

Stitch

3/8
Stitch
Touch something
down there
I know the drill
1:34 a.m.

I almost dropped my phone on my face! Huh this pig!

Pig!
1:35 a.m.

Stitch
Ur so judgmental
On pigs! Judger!
1:35 a.m.

Stitch
I'm talking about
The kulambo!
I love touching it
On my feet!
1:36 a.m.

U think so green
1:36 a.m.

And i thought
Ur Violet
1:37 a.m.

Ya should change name

1:37 a.m.

Hi Green Dizon
1:38 a.m.
4/8
Sunod-sunod ang kanyang mga text. God, ano ba ang laman ng utak ng isang Crayon
Alarcon? Despite
his cheerful outlook, alam kong mabigat ang dinadala niya. Minsan na niyang inamin
iyon. He masked
away his sadness.

Sleep now Crayon

Or at least magpatulog ka
1:39 a.m.

Stitch
Okay. I will let u
Sleep. I'll sing u
A lullaby
1:40 a.m.

Magre-reply na sana ako ng 'no thanks' ngunit biglang nag-ring ang cellphone ko at
rumehistro ang
pangalan niya. Eh? So, he's serious in singing me a lullaby.

I answered the call. "Hindi ko kailangan ng lullaby, Cray-"

"May inuwi si Nanay, si nanay... sa bahay... Sinabit niya... sinabit niya sa pader
ng bahay," he sang. That
song was something I heard in a Filipino horror song kung saan bida si Kris Aquino.
That song is
terrifying to the ears lalo na sa mga ganitong oras!

"I'm hanging up." Naiinis na wika ko. Seriously, mas lalo ba namang manakot? At
this hour?! For Pete's
sake, it's past midnight.

Narinig ko ang tawa ni Crayon mula sa kabilang linya. "Ito naman di mabiro. Why are
you still up?"

"Had some bad dreams," sagot ko. "Ikaw bakit gising ka pa at nandadamay?"

"Up for some drinks?" He asked. No, I can't drink with him. I have a boyfriend at
hindi magandang
tingnan na iinom ako kasama ang ibang lalaki. I don't want to do something that I
don't want Semper to
do to me.

"Not cool." sagot ko. "I have a boyfriend."

"Tinatanong ko ba?" Tila bata na nang-iinis ang tono niya. "How about some talks
then?"

"Somewhere?"

5/8
"Somewhere?"

"Nah, just over the phone," sagot niya.

"Ano namang pag-uusapan natin?" Papatulan ko na nga lang tutal hindi naman ako
inaantok. I can still
feel the creep right now at mabuti na rin na may kausap ako at nang kahit papaano
ay mawala iyon sa
sistema ko. I feel unsafe. Paano kung masamang loob pala iyon?

"Marami. We can talk about some talking stones or kung gusto mo pag-usapan natin
'yong bagong
packaging ng sweetcorn. Pansin mo ba?" He asked.

I rolled my eyes. "Bangag ka ba?"

He laughed and it somehow made me laugh too. "Nagbibigay lang ako ng mga example ng
kung ano ang
pwede nating pag-usapan."

"Crayon?"

"Hmm?"

"Have you done something forbidden?"

"Hmm," he replied with a sigh na para bang nag-iisip siya ng sagot. "Yup, seven
years old ako, sabi ni
mama wag na wag ko raw kakainin 'yong hamon kasi para sa Noche Buena 'yon pero
kinain ko talaga!"

"Other than that?"

"Sabi ni mama wag akong iihi sa kama noong thirteen years old na ako-"

"Gross! Tapos umihi ka?!" I asked with a wide eye! 13 years old? Yuck!

"Lila, hindi pa ako tapos, okay? Hindi ako umihi sa kama, sa sahig ako umihi."

I frowned. Anong hugis ba ang utak ni Crayon? "Worse than those?"

"Typical juvenile charges. Breaking and entering, vandalism, ganoon lang," sagot
niya. "Bakit? Ikaw ba
may ginawang..." He cleared his throat and made his voice whole. "Forbidden?"
6/8
Natahimik ako saglit. A relationship between human and angel is really forbidden.
Keeping an angel to
myself is forbidden. Doing something with an angel is forbidden. Must I say more?

"Yeah, I guess," wika ko. "Hindi na ako tatanggapin sa langit."

Tumawa lang si Crayon. Maybe he can laugh like that because he doesn't know my
situation well. "Ayos
lang 'yan, Lila, sa langit walang beer kaya kung saan ka man, may maiinom ka pa
kapag may problema
ka. Look on the positive side."

"I am so mean. I did something awful," maktol ko. Naiisip ko pa lamang ang ginawa
ko ay natatakot na
ako. Yes, I love Semper pero alam ko namang hindi sa lahat ng panahon ay tama ang
pag-ibig. Kahit pa
sabihin ng lahat na hindi mali ang magmahal, pero kung mali naman ang taong minahal
mo, mali pa rin.
You cannot just use the excuse na laging tama ang pag-ibig because it's definitely
not.

"Awful like?" Tanong niya.

"Falling for the wrong creature."

"Oh, problem again?" Nahimigan ko ang pagkairita sa boses niya. "Lila, I've done
enough okay. Baka
bigla mo na naman akong pakiusapan para tulungan ka."

"If ever that happens, won't you help me anymore?" Tanong ko.

Saglit siyang tumahimik. I know at times like this, I can count on Crayon. Mukha
naman siyang game na
game sa lahat. Parang walang problema at kaladkarin lang (I mean it in a positive
way okay?)

"Depends on what can you give," he replied.

"What? Gusto mo pa talaga ng kapalit?" I cocked a brow.

"Nothing's free in the world, De Lima. Remember that," natatawa niyang wika. "I can
see that he really
likes you."

"Like? Like lang?" paninigurado ko. I know Semper is not the type who displays in
his face the word LOVE
for me.

"How can I tell? He doesn't have any emotion on his face," sagot ni Crayon. "Paano
naging kayo 'non?"

7/8
"It's a long, unbelievable story."

I heard him clicked his tongue from the other line. "I have all night to listen,"
sagot niya.

"Unfortunately, I don't have all night to talk. May klase pa tayo bukas, Crayon.
Kaya matulog ka na. Good
night." Hindi ko na siya hinintay na sumagot pa. Agad kong pinatay ang tawag at
pinindot ang airplane
mode ng cellphone ko. That way he cannot bother me anymore.

Humiga ako sa kama at inisip ang sitwasyong kinalalagyan ko ngayon. I love Semper,
no question on
that. But it's a right love at the right time but at the wrong person. If one of
the coordinates is wrong,
then it is wrong.

Now a question comes to my mind at this moment. Does love really conquers all?

8/8
CHAPTER 50: SHADOWS
wattpad.com/624458537-as-you-lie-awake-chapter-50-shadows/page/2

Chapter 50: Shadows

"What? Nag-dropout si Nikki?"

Halos umalingawngaw ang boses ko sa bawat sulok ng classroom. My classmate just

brought a bomb
and exploded it right in front of me. Bakit umalis si Nikki? I'm her best friend,
right? Bakit wala man
lamang pasabi?

I slouched on my chair thinking why Nikki ditched me like that. Sabagay, hindi
naman siya obligadong
sabihin sa akin lahat ng gagawin niya. But why do I feel like I'm missing something
here? Something
about her? Tumayo ako at nagtungo sa CR. Hindi pa rin mawala sa isipan ko si Nikki.

Nang nasa harap ako ng salamin at naghuhugas ng kamay ay saka ko lang napansin na
ako lang pala
ang naroon. Suddenly, I felt my hairs at the back of my neck stood. Napatigil ako
at iniangat ang tingin
sa salaman. A dark figure crossed the other side like a flash of lightning. I also
felt a negative presence
looming. I immediately swung around but found no one.

Tila naging napakatahimik ng paligid. All I can hear is my heartbeat and my heaving
breathing. Tila
dumilim rin sa loob. It felt like my sense of sight and sense of hearing was
impaired. With shaking hands,
I swung back to the faucet at nagwisik ng tubig sa mukha ko. When I looked up the
mirror, Semper was
standing behind me.

Kung wala lang ang sink sa harapan ko, baka nabuwal na ako sa gulat. Napasigaw ako
at napahawak sa
dibdib ko.

"You scared me!" Bulalas ko. Semper isn't the smiling type, alright but could he at
least smile to me right
now? Seriously, para akong aatakihin dahil sa takot.

"I did? I'm sorry," sagot niya at lumapit sa akin. I was surprised with the next
action he took. Hinawakan

1/6
"I did? I'm sorry," sagot niya at lumapit sa akin. I was surprised with the next
action he took. Hinawakan
niya ang braso ko at hinila ako palapit sa kanya at niyakap nang mahigpit. That was
something I least
expected he'll do at this moment.

Pressing my cheek on his chest, I felt the warmth in my heart. Unti-unti akong
napangiti ngumit agad
ding natigilan nang may maalala. I pushed away his body from me. "Semper, nasa
women's CR ka!"

"So?"

"Anyone might come in any moment!" Bulalas ko. I don't want to taint my good girl
record. Ano na lang
ang iisipin nila kapag nakita akong may kasamang lalaki sa loob ng CR?

"Not a problem," he replied and in one swift movement, he was able to move himself
with me inside a
cubicle. One blink of an eye, I heard the lock clicked. "How about this?"

Hindi ko mapigilan ang mamula. We're inside this cubicle, in this crammed space.
Hindi ito ang unang
beses na nandito kami sa sitwasyong ito but it always made me feel like it's the
first time and I always
blush upon the thought. "This is not what I meant."

"I missed you, baby," wika niya at tumingin nang diretso sa mga mata ko. His eyes
were dull like always
but the kind of looks he's giving me right now is something that brings happiness
to me.

Hindi ko mapigilan ang mapangiti. "Na-miss rin kita."

He smiled at me and leaned closer to give me a kiss but then he stopped at

napakunot ang kanyang noo.
Tila nakikinig siya sa paligid ngunit nakatingin pa rin siya sa akin.

"Semper, anong pro-"

He put his finger on my lips. "Sshh."

2/6
Tumango ako at napatigil din. Nanatili kami sa ganoong position sa loob ng cubicle.
Napansin ko rin na
tila tumahimik ulit ang paligid gaya kanina. Kung gayon, hindi iyon si Semper?

Maya-maya ay napahinga siya nang malalim. "You should go," wika niya.

"What is it about?" I asked.

"Hindi ko pa tiyak but to keep you safe, you should go," suhestiyon niya.

Tumango ako bilang sagot at muling tinitigan siya. My eyes shifted from his face to
his hair. White hair
was sticking out from his ball cap. Wala sa sariling iniangat ko ang suot niyang
cap at hinawakan ang
kanyang buhok. I thought it's completely white pero kapag hinawi ay may iilang itim
pang strand. "Your
hair..."

"I'm not yet completely fallen," sagot niya at inayos ang kanyang cap.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Tanong ko sa kanya.

"Basta mag-iingat ka lang. If you think something dangerous might happen to you,
isipin mo lang ako, I
will be there. I heard from the angels that the Legion's back possessing human
bodies and fallen angels."

"Legion?"

Hinawakan niya ang balikat ko at mahinang tinulak ako sa pinto. "Just go." I felt
him kiss the top of my
head at nang lingunin ko siya sa likuran ko ay wala na siya roon. I heaved a sigh
and opened the door.

Ibang-iba nga ang buhay naming dalawa ni Semper. Mahirap mag-adjust but I can. I
think there's
someone who can make me understand some things. Lumabas ako ng CR at hinanap ang
taong iyon sa
loob ng campus.

***
3/6
"What a surprise, Violet," wika ni Daven nang umupo siya sa harapan ko. Nasa
cafeteria kami at niyaya
ko siyang makipag-usap. Napansin niya marahil ang seryosong reaksyon ng mukha ko.
"Problems?"

I shook my head. "No, just some confusiona. You said you're a Nephilim, right?"

"Shh," he lowered his voice and looked around. "Will you keep that a secret?"

"Of course," sagot ko kasabay ng tango. "Can I ask some questions about your
world?"

"My world or Semper's?" Tanong niya. Hinawakan niya ang kamay kong nasa mesa. "It
must have been
hard for you. Go on, shoot your question. Hindi ko man masasagot lahat but I will
try my best." He
positioned his hands for something. "This is his world." Tinuro niya ang itaas then
he pointed downward.
"Your world." Huli nyang tinuro ay ang gitna. "And this is my world."

"Does that mean you can have the best of both worlds?" Tanong ko.

Daven shook his head. "Not the best but the worse. Wicked angels escape judgments
using us. They
possess our bodies, they use our strengths. Although we can match strengths with
them, they can
always mind trick us."

Kahit hindi ko man alam kung gaano kahirap ang buhay niya bilang Nephilim, I
somehow felt sorry. Being
a Nephilim must feel like a curse to them. "Do you know the Legion?"

His forehead creased and the fear that filled his face didn't escape my eyes. "Saan
mo narinig 'yan?"

"I heard it from Semper. Bakit? Anong meron sa kanya? Sino siya?" Hindi ko pa man
nalalaman kung
sino si Legion ay hindi ko na mapigilan ang matakot. He must be someone very scary
and dangerous
that even an angel and a nephilim showed fear upon the mention of his name.

"Legion is the group of fallen angels who were still unchained at gumagala lamang
sa mundo, waiting for
the right time to possess Nephilims, human or even angels."

"T-that's creepy," wika ko. I brushed off the shiver that crept in my arms.

"Definitely creepy but that's bound to happen. It's all accounted in the
Revelations. Apollyon leads the
Legion and they will kill a third of mankind," seryosong wika ni Daven.

"Wag mo nga akong tinatakot, Daven."

4/6
"Hindi kita tinatakot, Violet. Totoo iyon. If Semper wants to protect you, he
should have given you his
golden feather. Binigay ba niya sa'yo?"

Unti-unting napakunot ang noo ko sa sinabi niya. A golden feather? Semper didn't
give me but I have one
that I found on the street few months ago. At ilang buwan matapos iyon ay nakilala
ko si Semper. Posible
bang sa kanya ang nakita ko?

I felt the excitement in me. Kung sa kanya nga iyon, it's destiny! "So what's this
golden feather about?"

"I'm not sure but I heard they will swear their loyalty to you and protect you no
matter what," sagot ni
Daven. And that is just something very nice to happen. "He's an angel who sinned so
will you be
alright?"

Kinilatis ko nang mabuti si Daven. "Wait, ikaw ba talaga 'yan, Daven?"

He laughed and nodded. "It's me kaya wag kang mag-alala. I still feel weird talking
to you that involves
that guy Semper. I'm still not over you, you know." I bit my lower lip and it made
him smile. "But. hey,
I'm cool about it. Guess moving on really takes time."

I gave him a smile. "Thanks, Daven."

Nagpaalam ako sa kanya matapos magpasalamat. I felt excited about the thought that
I was lucky to find
Semper's golden feather. I guess breaking up with Daven that time was actually a
blessing in disguise.

That night, agad kong hinanap sa mga gamit ko ang balahibong may gintong dulo.
Isosorpresa ko kaya si
Semper tungkol sa bagay na ito? For sure he will also think that it's really
destiny. I got my phone and hit
up his number, but it always directs me to voice message.

Humiga ako sa kama at napalabi. It's past 9 in the evening. Semper could be
somewhere busy like taking
a bath, sleeping or whatever. Ayaw kong isipin na nagsusugal na naman siya. I
closed my eyes and
remembered all the good times with him, but I was carried somewhere by my thoughts.

Madilim na pasilyo... mga impit na sigaw ng marami. A sound of a dripping water.

Gusto kong
humakbang palapit pero natatakot ako. What if I will be somewhere, I don't want to
be if I will take a step
forward?

I know very well where I am... In my subconscious mind as I lie awake. Nakaramdam
ako ng kilabot sa
katawan ko nang isang pamilyar na presensya ang tila nakapalibot sa akin. I just
felt it once but it's
creepy that it will always haunts my mind. Kanina ko lamang naramdaman ang
presensyang ito. I know
this is the same presence I felt at the CR with Semper.
5/6
Lumakas ang mga impit na iyak... ang patak ng tubig... Tila may malakas na tunog ng
kulog sa paligid...
Mga ingay ng yapak ng kabayo... Suddenly, I felt suffocated! I closed my eyes
tightly and opened my
mind.

This is a dream! This isn't true! Nasa isipan ko lamang 'to. Wala ako sa lugar na
ito!

Sa labis na pagpupumilit kong gisingin ang sarili ay nagawa ko. Mabilis na binuksan
ko ang mga bata ko
at bumungad sa akin ang ceiling ng kwarto ko. Bumangon ako at hinabol ang hininga.
Like the most
sessions that happens as I lay down in my bed, it felt so real. Tila totoo ang
lahat at hanggang sa
pagmulat ko ay ramdam ko pa rin ang takot.

Pinahid ko ang mukha ko sa mga palad ko at mahinang sinampal-sampal ang pisngi ko.
I thought
Semper's the only one who's capable of invading my dreams, but I was wrong. Other
entities are capable
too, and even the wicked ones.

Kinalma ko ang sarili ko bago tumayo at lumapit sa bookshelf ko. I searched for a
particular book and
when I find it, I took it towards my study table.

The Holy Bible...

I need to do this. I need to be informed about what fallen angels are. And I think
this book holds answers
to some of my questions. Nagkasala si Semper at kahit na may pag-asa pa siyang
magbago, he's
capable of sinning more each day.

I was looking for answers about Semper sinning a lot and I was led to a verse that
somehow frightened
me. II Peter 2: 4...

"For God did not spare the angels who sinned but cast them down to hell and
delivered them into chains
of darkness, to be reserved for judgment."

6/6
EPILOGUE
wattpad.com/633452480-as-you-lie-awake-epilogue

Epilogue

"According to Corinthians 13: 4-8, Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy,
it does not boast, it is not
proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily
angered, it keeps no record of
wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always
protects, always trusts, always
hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails..."

I smiled hearing the sermon of the priest, preaching about the meaning of love. We
all have different
definitions of it; and for me? Love is what I found five years ago.

I wonder if it was different from all it was, will it end the same? Or I'll wake up
next to the most beautiful
with blank face every morning?

If he wasn't an angel, will I get to know him? Would he like me?

If I wasn't drunk that night, will I find him?

If Daven didn't dump me, will he come to my life?

I am someone who has a positive outlook in life. I'm contented with what I have but
deep within me, I
still have longings for some things. I wished to be found-- and luckily, Semper was
the one who found me.

As he found me, I found love.

Before, I used to lay, wide awake and let him invade my dreams, my mind and
everything in me.
1/3
Now, I always lie in bed, awake but swimming in the memories of those nights where
he used to visit me
in my dreams. It's torture, I know, but it's the only way to keep him close to me.

I lie in bed awake, think of him even if it hurts so bad.

No matter what I do, the memories of him just keep haunting me. It somehow made me
laugh, made me
cry and always make me miss the good days I had with him.

Those are the memories that I will treasure every day.

Yes, I found love on a two-way street but end up walking alone on a highway.

It was a sad departure, but the only thing I can do is to look back and be happy
that even for a short
period of time, I found him, and he found me.

It was forbidden; it was wrong, but love makes it right.

I was happy. I will always be.

I miss you so bad. I love you Semper, you are my first and definitely my last.

Semper fidelis-- Violet Dizon.

END OF AS YOU LIE AWAKE BOOK 1

2/3
3/3
CHAPTER 51: I DECIDED
wattpad.com/632641400-as-you-lie-awake-chapter-51-i-decided/page/2

Chapter 51: I Decided

Nasa malalim na pag-iisip ako habang nakaupo sa cafeteria nang may mga kamay na
tumakip sa mga
mata ko.

"Guess who."

I shoved away Crayon's hand at tumawa naman siya nang malakas. "Not cool, Crayon."

"Aw, and here I thought it will be tough for you," sagot niya. He pulled the chair
in front of me at tinitigan
ako. "Ang lalim ng iniisip mo, ah. Problems? Lovelife again?"

I shook my head as reply. Yep, problems but not about lovelife. Semper and I are
fine although some
things keep bothering me. We both followed our heart-- not minding what's right or
wrong. Pero sa
ngayon ay hindi tungkol doon ang iniisip ko. I've been bugged by the shadows
lurking around me-- us.

Legion...

Legion who will destroy a third of mankind. It sounded scary lalo na at accounted
iyon sa Revelations
pero hindi ko maiwasang mag-isip kung bakit tila nakapaligid siya sa akin. Did he
have any grudges
against Semper that's why he's targeting me? Iniisip ba niyang mahahawakan niya sa
leeg si Semper
kung gagamitin niya ako?

Another thing is Semper. I know he's not totally fallen, but I have fears inside
me. This may seem like I
lack trust to him dahil natatakot ako na kapag naging tao siya, magiging
makasalanan na rin siya. He
will be vulnerable, and mistakes cannot be avoided.

1/8
Napabalik ang atensyon ko kay Crayon nang pumitik siya sa harapan ko. "Ayan ka na
naman Lila. Earth
to Violet. Ang laki na yata ng problema mo."

I shook my head and forced a smile. I cannot just tell him about it dahil wala
namang alam si Crayon.
Tumango-tango lang din siya at tila binabasa ako kung nagsisinungaling ba ako o
hindi.

"Okay, sabi mo eh," wika niya. "Ako ang laki ng problema ko."

"Bakit? Anong nangyari?"

Nagpakawala siya ng malalim na hininga. "De Lima, hindi ko na alam ang gagawin ko."

Yup, hindi lang naman ako ang may problema sa mundo. Sa katunayan ay mas malala ang
problema ni
Crayon. Mary is dying-- and she doesn't want to fight anymore.

"Hindi ko na alam ang gagawin ko, De Lima, labis-labis na ang kagwapuhan ko--- uh."
He groaned when I
kicked his foot under the table. Minsan talaga walang kwentang kausap si Crayon.
Tumawa siya at
pagkatapos ay sumandal. "Ito naman hindi mabiro, napakaseryoso mo naman kasi."

"Marami kasi akong iniisip," sagot ko.

"Gaya ng?"

"Exams, requirements," pagsisinungaling ko. The right answer should be Semper,

Legion, etc.

"De Lima?"

"Oh?" Nag-angat ako ng tingin sa kanya.

2/8
"Tungkol nga pala sa boyfriend mo.." Agad niyang nakuha ang atensyon ko dahil sa
topic na binuksan
niya.

"Why? What's with him?" Tanong ko. Sana naman hindi na naman 'to tungkol kay Semper
na abala na
naman sa clubhouse at kung anu-ano ang pinaggagawa.

His hand pointed on his hair. "Saan siya nagpakulay ng buhok?"

Nakahinga ako nang maluwag. Akala ko naman kung ano na. Not that I don't trust him.
Ayaw ko lang na
muli siyang bumalik sa clubhouse dahil marami siyang bisyo na matututunan doon.

"Natu-- ang ibig kong sabihin sa kung saan-saan lang," sagot ko. I cannot just tell
him that it was
somehow his lifeline or maybe a determining factor if he's totally fallen or not.

"Nakaka-bother kasi, hindi man lamang inayos ang kulay. May mga itim pa sa harap,"
maktol niya.

"Trip lang niya," sagot ko. "Kumusta na nga pala si Mary?" I want to divert the
topic, but I guess I've
chosen a wrong one. I shouldn't talk about Mary, siguro ay mga tungkol sa
positibong bagay lamang ang
pag-usapan namin. "-- I m-mean--"

He cut me off. "She's not fine."

It's too late to realize my deed. I opened the wrong topic. Huminga ako nang
malalim at inabot ang
kamay niyang nakapatong sa mesa. Hinawakan ko iyon nang mahigpit at tiningnan siya
ng diretso. "I
hope everything will be fine soon. If only there's something I can do..."

Biglang nagliwanag ang kanyang mga mata. "Lila! You're brilliant! Of course,
there's something you can
do!"

"Ano iyon?"
3/8
Bahagya siyang nag-isip at tinapik ang kanyang temple. He lowered his mask and
showed me his
smiling face. "Let her see a miracle!"

I frowned. "Mukha ba akong gumagawa ng himala?"

Kinagat niya ang hinlalaki at muling nag-isip. "How about a magic?"

"Do I look like a magician?" Pambabara ko.

Muli siyang napasandal at sumimangot. "Yun na nga eh. Or maybe something that can
catch her
interest. Tell her about heavenly bodies, mythical creatures, mga ganoon."

Nag-iisip ako kung ano ang pwede kong gawin para kay Mary nang tumunog ang
cellphone ko. It was
Semper calling. Agad ko iyong sinagot matapos mag-excuse kay Crayon.

"Baby." He greeted with sweetness in his voice. "Where are you?"

"I'm at school," sagot ko.

"Busy with class?"

"No, wala na akong klase for the rest of the day."

"How about some walk?"

Hindi ko mapigilan ang mapangiti. I love walks better than drives. Kapag naglalakad
kasi kayo ay mas
dama ninyo ang presensya ng bawat isa. You can hold hands, intertwined fingers and
other things you
can't do when driving. I once told him I will like him more even without his car
and I guess that's why
he's asking for a walk.

"I'd love that," sagot ko sa kanya.

"I'll be there in ten minutes."

Matapos magpaaalam ay bumalik na ako sa mesa at naroon pa rin si Crayon. He's

wearing his mask
again and looking at me with his curious eyes. "Tamis ng ngiti ah."
4/8
"Hindi ah," sagot ko at sinubukang mag-project ng seryosong mukha but the thought
that Semper will be
here and we will have some walk makes me smile kahit anong pigil ko.

"Lies."

Tuluyan na akong ngumiti. "It's Semper."

Crayon rolled his eyes. "Obviously."

Napangiwi na lamang ako. Hindi naman sa hindi siya supportive, but could he just
smile like I did? "Ang
KJ mo."

"Anong KJ doon?" Tanong niya.

"Wala," sagot ko at isinukbit sa balikat ang shoulder bag. "Alis na nga ako."

"Sandali, De Lima."

Tumigil ako at nilingon siya. "How about Mary?"

Saglit akong napaisip. The last time Mary and I had a serious talk and I know the
strings inside her are
slowly breaking. Maybe Crayon's right. She just needs to see a miracle. "Kailan ka
ba pupunta?"

"How about tomorrow?" He asked. "3 p.m.?"

Saglit akong nag-isip kung may schedule ba ako ng 3 p.m. bukas at nang mapagtanto
na wala ay
tumango ako. "Okay, 3 p.m. then."

Tuluyan ko na siyang iniwan at hinintay si Semper sa gate ng AU. Hindi naman

nagtagal ay dumating na
siya with his big bike. Like the usual, he's on his all black outfit. Tinanggal
niya ang suot na helmet at
ngumiti sa akin. Damn, how can someone with blank eyes smile that sweet? And damn
again, he really
has that power to make my knees go weak. Bago pa amn ako maglupasay sa semento ay
humakbang na
ako palapit sa kanya. Kinuha niya ang pink na helmet at nang akmang aabutin ko iyon
ay binawi niya.

"Eh?"

"Let me, baby."

5/8
I bit my lower lip and enjoyed the happiness that tingled in every part of my body.
Simple words and
simple gestures give me such sensations. Damn. Humakbang ako papalapit sa kanya at
hindi inalis ang
tingin sa mukha niya.

Semper smiled as he slowly placed the helmet on my head. He tucked some hairs on my
ears bago iyon
ini-lock. I heard the clicking sound and I know it means that the helmet is placed
on my head already
pero nanatili pa rin akong nakatayo sa harap niya at tinitingnan ang bawat anggulo
ng mukha niya. I
cannot imagine how he was able to make me feel attracted to him before and felt
scared at the same
time.

"Stop that," wika niya na tila nagpabalik sa akin sa tamang huwisyo.

"Stop what?"

He licked his lower lip. "Staring at me innocently while biting your lips." Biglang
nanlaki ang mga mata
ko. Did I really do that? What the hell?!

Yumuko ako mahinang tinapik ang mga pisngi ko. "Sorry."

"No need to be sorry, baby," wika niya. "I love it, it's just that if you keep
doing that, I might kiss you
right here, right now."

I bit my lower lip again and when I realized that it was a bad move ay agad akong
naglakad sa likuran
niya. Nasa tapat kami ng university and it would be scandalous to kiss right in
front of the school lalo na
at maraming tao. At mas lalo pa dahil hindi ko kayang kontrolin ang sarili ko. I
might get lost again in his
kisses and forget where I am.

Agad akong sumandal sa likuran niya at iniyakap ang mga braso sa beywang niya.
"Saan tayo?"

I heard the revving of the engine before the motorcycle moved. "Just wait and see."

***

Semper brought me at the beach kung saan dati na kaming gumala. Hindi gaanong
maraming tao
ngayon at isang oras na lamang ay papalubog na ang araw. The amber sky just made
this moment
perfect. Naglalakad kaming dalawa na nakapaa sa buhangin at magkahawak ang kamay.
He's holding
my hand tight like he has no intention of letting me go.

Such thing always makes me blush. Kahit pa siguro araw-araw niyang hawakan ang
kamay ko ay magba- 6/8
Such thing always makes me blush. Kahit pa siguro araw-araw niyang hawakan ang
kamay ko ay magbablush pa rin ako na para bang iyon ang unang beses. Yup, Semper
has that effect on me. Seryosongseryoso ang mukha niya at tila malalim ang iniisip
kaya hindi ko maiwasan ang magtanong.

"Semper?" Tumingin siya sa akin na tila nagtatanong ng bakit. "What are you
thinking?"

Huminto siya at binitawan ang kamay ko. He held my shoulders instead and made me
face him. Dahil
mas matangkad siya sa akin ay bahagya ko siyang tiningala. "You. Us."

Titig na titig siya sa akin at pakiramdam ko ay matutunaw ako anumang oras dahil sa
mga tingin niya.
His lackluster eyes looked at me with enough passion and love. His hand held my
cheek and caressed it
tenderly. "I've sinned a lot and out of all my sins, loving you is something that I
don't regret."

Hindi ko alam kung bakit niya iyon sinasabi. All I know is that my eyes started to
water as I stared at
him. Naiiyak ako dahil damang-dama ko ang emosyon sa bawat salitang binibitawan
niya. Naiiyak ako
because it freaking feels so good to hear it straight from him. And he's speaking
straight from his heart.

Tinanggal niya ang suot na cap at bahagyang ginulo ang kanyang buhok na naging
kulay puti na
maliban sa ilang hibla na nasa harap. "I decided. Even if this means falling on the
dark side, I want to be
human just for you."

Tuluyang nalaglag ang mga luhang namumuo sa gilid ng mga mata ko. They flowed down
so fast like my
tears are having a damn race. I tried opening my mouth to say something, but no
words came out. I felt
happy and worried sometimes. I'm too selfish to keep an angel for myself-- at
katumbas niyon ay isang
malaking kasalanan. And Semper will fall into the dark side.

Then I finally found my voice to speak. "W-what does it means to fall on the dark
side?" I asked habang
pinapahid ang mga luha.

"I'll lose all privileges of an angel. I will live like human, susceptible to
sinning and temptations. I could
die. I will face judgment," sagot niya. Hindi ko man lubusang maintindihan ang mga
sinabi niya, I felt
very lucky but at the same time worried.

Lucky because I have found someone who truly loves me but worried for him, facing
judgment. He stared
at me with love before he lowered his face and kissed me gently on the lips.

It was wrong, I know but no wrong could ever felt this right.

7/8
8/8
CHAPTER 52: END
wattpad.com/633441503-as-you-lie-awake-chapter-52-end/page/3

Chapter 52: End

The day was truly amazing. It was memorable not only because of the sunset, sweet
talks and cheeky
gestures but also because I am with Semper. I was never this happy before with
Daven. Semper is the
only one who could make me feel this way.

Maga-gabi na nang pumunta kami sa apartment ni Semper for dinner. He completed the
wonderful day
with a candlelight dinner. I barely swallowed the food because I can't get over the
fluttering feeling.
Nothing's wrong with my tummy but I can feel the butterflies inside. Matapos
maghapunan ay nanuod
muna kami ng palabas. We sat on the sofa at nakasandal ako sa dibdib niya at
mahigpit pa rin ang
hawak niya sa kamay ko.

He was playing with my fingers and I can't focus on the film knowing he seems like
he's more interested
to my fingers than the movie. Pinagdaop niya ang mga palad namin at hinalikan ang
likod ng kamay ko.

"Your fingers perfectly fit in mine," he said randomly that made me swallowed hard.
Now I'm all out of
focus. The movie was science fiction and I know it doesn't give a romantic ambiance
but damn, Semper's
presence is enough. I tried acting all focused on the screen ngunit ramdam ko ang
tingin niya sa akin.
Bahagya ko siyang tiningnan and I was right. He was looking at me, not on the
movie.

"I love you," wika niya.

Kinagat ko ang pang-ibabang labi at ngumiti sa kanya. I slowly moved and gave him a
peck on the lips,
but he gently pulled my lips by biting it. Pagkatapos ay ginawaran niya ako ng
matamis na ngiti.

Without a word, I moved swiftly and placed my lips on his. He was quick to respond
and just like me, he
gave me hungry kisses. I closed my eyes and felt the pleasure that slowly crept in
my body. I took away
all inhibitions and straddled on his lap, placing my hands at the back of his head,
feeling his soft white
hair.
1/8
His hands grabbed onto my waist and his kisses went from wild to soft, savoring
every taste. He stopped
and gave me a quick smooch. Gusto kong mahiya dahil inihinto niya ang halik at
tinitigan ako but only to
kiss me wild again after looking at me with equal love and passion. For the second
time, I closed my eyes
and met his tongue. The feeling was so good that I do not want to end it, but I
need to because I need to
breathe. I gasped for air before meeting his lips again. I never felt air shortage
that wonderful and it was
because of the kiss. I pulled his hair to deepen the kiss although it was already
too deep, and he
continue groping my waist. I moved my hips, feeling him and damn, it felt so good.

He stopped again and when I was about to protest, he lowered his head on my neck,
tasting my skin. His
breaths were warm, his tongue was warmer as he trailed my neck. I gasped in
pleasure and it came out
as a moan. Hinawi niya ang buhok na nakatabing sa leeg ko at bahagyang ibinaba ang
collar ng suot
kong damit. His lips planted sweet kisses on my collarbone that made me whimper in
pleasure.

Hindi ko na natiis ang sarap na dulot ng kanyang mga labi. I pulled his face away
from my neck and he
looked at me with confusions. I bit my lower lip before my hands reached for the
hem of my shirt,
holding it tight. I remained still and his eyes followed my hands as I slowly
lifted my shirt and pulled it
back down. His lips were redder than it was before, maybe because I sucked too
hard. Muli ay dahandahan na iniangat ko ang damit ko, and I saw how his Adam's
apple moved up and down as he waited
patiently. Tuluyan kong inialis ang suot kong damit at huminga ako nang malalim
bago iniabot ang hook
ng bra ko.

Semper swallowed hard and he caught my hands. "Let me."

I smiled and nodded at him bago inilagay ang mga kamay sa balikat niya. His hands
were warm as he
reached for the hook at my back. My brassiere's fell on the side at hindi ko inalis
ang tingin sa mukha
niya habang tuluyan iyong hinuhubad at hinayaang mahulog sa sahig.
He looked at me like I am a damn beautiful painting right in front of him and I was
never this confident
with my front's size until he looked at me like that. Hinawi niya ang natitirang
buhok na nasa harapan ko
at inilagay iyon sa likod upang mas matingnan ang katawan ko. Before I could feel
shyness, his hands
moved and removed his black shirt. Now we're both half naked, as I straddled on his
lap and we're facing
each other.

Like we're in sync, we both moved to crash our lips against each other. My hands
wandered on his back,
feeling the familiar, beautiful scars. His arms groped me hard, pulling me so close
and surprisingly, I liked
such closed space between us. Hinawakan niya ang hips ko at bahagya akong inangat.
I was so busy
nibbling on his lips and getting drown with the pleasure that I didn't notice how
he stood up from sitting

2/8
nibbling on his lips and getting drown with the pleasure that I didn't notice how
he stood up from sitting
on the sofa and carrying me to the bedroom without breaking the kiss.

Nang lumapat ang likod ko sa malambot na kama ay mas dinama ko ang sensasyong dulot
ng kanyang
mga halik. My hand wandered into his warm and rigid back, feeling his skin and the
bump made by the
scar. I never wanted this pleasure to end. I wanted more of him but he suddenly
stopped and looked at
me. Mula sa pagkakadagan ay humiga siya sa tabi ko, pulling the white sheet to
cover our naked upper
bodies. Iniangat niya ang ulo ko at inilagay sa ilalim ang kanyang braso. His other
hand was on my
tummy, hugging me there. He pulled me closer and kissed the top of my head.

"W-what's wrong?" I asked. I was a bit uncomfortable asking him, but he pulled me
even closer. Now I'm
facing him, and his broad chest and I never thought that arm pillow could be this
comfortable.

"We don't have to do it again, baby," wika niya, kissing my forehead.

"A-ayaw mo ba?"

"No, of course I want to, but I don't want you to think I only want you because I'm
just consumed by lust.
I love you Violet and I can wait, I will always wait."

Hindi ko alam bakit nangingilid ang mga luha ko. The first time we did it, I have
no regrets. And hearing
him say those words to him, I was beyond happy. Gusto kong sabihin sa kanya na
hindi niya kailangang
maghintay, na hindi ko iisiping pagnanasa lamang ang nararamdaman niya but I was so
happy that I just
hugged him so tight. Pakiramdam ko ay napakaswerte ko dahil biniyayaan ako ng
anghel, literal na
anghel. I was so happy that I wanted to keep him for myself, forever.

"Baby?" I asked and he hummed in response. "About your feathers..." I pulled away
and looked at his
face. "Hindi ba meron kayong gintong pakpak?"

His face became serious. "How do you know about that?"

"Daven," sagot ko. "Where's your golden feather?" Gusto ko siyang sorpresahin at
sabihing nasa akin
iyon. I found it before, and he can pledge that he will loyalty to me and protect
me no matter what.

"I'm keeping it, why?" tanong niya. He doesn't look quite sure.

"Sure?"

He slowly nodded his head and looked away. "Yeah."

3/8
I can tell that he's lying pero ano ang rason niya para magsinungaling? "When did
you come here?"

"Few months ago, in a dark street. Why are you asking those, baby?" He asked.

Gotcha, the golden feather I found was really his. Pero bakit siya nagsisinungaling
at sinabing nasa
kanya?

"Daven said you'll protect someone who will possess it, aren't you planning on
giving it to someone?"
Tanong ko. It was a bad question, baka isipin niyang gusto kong ibigay niya iyon sa
akin.

"No," mabilis niyang wika. Nagtagpo ang kanyang mga kilay at napalunok niya. He
pulled my head
closed to him and kissed my forehead. "Let's just sleep, baby."

***

"Blooming ah," pang-aasar ni Crayon nang sumakay ako sa sasakyan niya. We agreed
yesterday na
sasama ako sa kanya sa pagbisita kay Mary ngayon. I frowned at him at mas lalo
siyang natuwa sa
reaksyon ko at patuloy akong inasar. "Anong nangyari?"

Tiningnan ko lang siya nang masama at iniwas ang mukha. I don't want him to see me
blushing lalo na at
naaalala ko ang nangyari sa amin ni Semper kahapon. Tiyak akong mas lalo lamang
akong aasarin ng
Crayolang 'to.

"Crayon, just drive okay?"

Tumawa siya ngunit sumunod naman. "You're the boss."

Tahimik lang ako habang nagmamasid sa labas ng sasakyan. My hand held my bag
tightly. Sa loob ng
bag ko ay ang bagay na matagal ko nang iniingatan. The golden feather. At first I
thought it was just
some beautiful feather I found on the street ngunit bahagi pala iyon ng pakpak ng
anghel.

I kept thinking about this last night nang makauwi ako sa bahay. No doubt that
Semper owned this pero
bakit siya nagsisinungaling at sinabing tinago niya iyon?

"Ayos ka lang ba?" Tanong ni Crayon at manaka-nakang sinulyapan ako. "You look
bothered, pwede
namang ako na lang muna ang bumisita kay Mary."

4/8
namang ako na lang muna ang bumisita kay Mary."

Ngumiti ako at umiling. "No, ayos lang talaga."

"You sure?"

Tumango lang ako at ibinalak sa daan ang tingin. Hindi nagtagal ay ipinarada na ni
Crayon ang sasakyan
sa parking lot ng ospital. Bababa na sana si Crayon nang tumunog ang kanyang
cellphone. He answered
it immediately after he removed his mask and his bright face slowly turned sad.
Without a word, he
dashed out of the car and ran towards the deeper area of the parking lot.

"Crayon!" Tawag ko sa kanya at hinabol siya. I have an idea that he heard bad news
on the phone call
kaya nagmamadali rin akong bumaba at hinabol siya. I found him on the corner,
sobbing. Dahan-dahan
akong lumapit sa kanya at tinapik ang balikat niya.

"C-crayon..."

Nag-angat siya ng tingin at umiiyak ang kanyang mga mata. Without any thought,
niyakap ko siya at
tinapik sa likod. "What happened?"

"M-mary..." wika niya sa pagitan ng mga hikbi. "I don't think she wants to live
anymore."

"No, don't say that..." Hindi ko alam kung makakatulong ba ang pinagsasabi ko sa
kanya but Mary is on
the brink of giving up and it's not good if he'll feel the same. I pulled myself
away from him. "we'll give
her hope, okay?" Inilabas ko sa bag ko ang dala ko. The golden feather. "See this?
Maybe this is the
miracle that she loves to see."

He looked at the golden feather with much adoration. I thought maybe just like
Mary, he needs to see a
miracle too, or maybe cheer him up. Inangat niya ang kamay at inilahad ang palad sa
kamay ko. I gave
him a smile before I handed him the golden feather.

Just as when he took hold of the feather, the lights in the parking lot flickered.
Napatingin ako sa mga
ilaw at ibinalik ang tingin kay Crayon. He was no longer the crying Crayon I was
comforting a while ago.
He had the dark expression on his eyes and the flickering light just made it
scarier. I felt a cold gust of
wind on my nape at takot na takot ako. Gusto kong sumigaw, tumakbo, humingi ng
tulong but I wasn't
capable of doing any. Naninigas ang mga binti ko, tuyo ang lalamunan ko and I don't
know what to do.

"C-crayon..." Iyon lamang ang lumabas sa bibig ko.

5/8
I felt the familiar scary presence again, the one that Semper also felt the same
presence who lurks
around me as I sleep. "S-sino ka?" Tanong ko.

"Legion," sagot ni Crayon. "Does the name ring a bell?"

Hindi ko alam kung ano ang isasagot. Mahirap iproseso lahat sa utak ko sa isang
bagsakan lang. Hindi ba
siya si Crayon?

"No, I'm not," sagot niya, probably reading my thoughts. "I only need a human
identity with a backstory.
How's my plot, Violet?"

"A-anong i-ibig mong sabihin?"

"Mary is just an imaginary friend of yours Volet, walang nag-eexist na Mary na may
sakit. Mary na
mamatay or even Crayon. There's no Crayon who's got a lot of problems. It's all in
your mind. I kinda
mind-tricked you. You're easily fooled," wika niya. Ibinaba ko ang tingin sa hawak
niya. Damn, I gave him
Semper's golden feather!

"Bakit mo 'to ginagawa?" Nangangatog na ang mga tuhod ko.

"I want this," sagot niya at itinaas ang kamay na hawak ang gintong pakpak. "I need
to go back to the
heavens and gather more angels for my plan of ruling over this world. I cannot just
get this from you the
way I want it. Ikaw ang nakakuha nito and you're the only one capable of giving me
this, kailangang ikaw
mismo ang magbigay and it took you that long. I tried different strategies and
playing a lonely man with
a dying girlfriend worked.It was tough knowing your guardian was beside you, but
I'm an angel of higher
rank that I even fooled your guardian. In fact, she's the one who introduced me to
you."

Bumalik sa alaala ko ang pagiging mabuting kaibigan niya. I trusted him but it
doesn't work. He tried
seducing me through a kiss, it doesn't work either. God, how could I'll be clueless
about everything? I
should have known from the start. He just appeared and I didn't suspect anything
foul. I'm so foolish for
trusting him.

"Why do you think I was wearing a mask all this time? Kasi baka makilala ako ni
Semper. Although he
lost the power of identifying angles of higher rank, I still need to be careful.
Surprise, Violet?" Tanong
niya. "Do you know why that angel of faithfulness lied to you? Sinabi niya sa iyo
na nasa kanya lang 'to,
'di ba? He lied because you might want this and you want him to pledge his loyalty
and protect you no
matter what. Pero hindi niya alam na nasa iyo na pala," he paused and laughed like
a mad man. "If he'll
do that, he will be back to being an angel-- your guardian you will guard you at
all cost. He wanted to be
human for you."

Naramdaman ko ang pagdaloy ng mga luha ko. Maybe I was crying for a while and I
just felt it now. Hindi

6/8
Naramdaman ko ang pagdaloy ng mga luha ko. Maybe I was crying for a while and I
just felt it now. Hindi
ko pa rin lubusang matanggap ang lahat ng mga nalaman. Ang tanga ko para mahulog sa
patibong na
'to. The surrounding still feels creepy. I can hear my heartbeat loud at pakiramdam
ko ay mabubuwal
ako anumang oras ngayon.

"Want to hear some news? Good news and bad news." Hindi ako sumagot at nanatiling
nakatayo habang
nakaawang ang labi. I'm surprised I was still standing right now despite how my
knees wobbled. "Let's
start with the good news; Semper is now human."

Crayon-- no, it's Legion. Legion said it like he really said something good ngunit
mas nagpasakit lamang
iyon sa kalooban ko. If only this is a dream. I sniffed and silently prayed that I
will wake up from this
nightmare.

"Bad news, he'll be dead any moment now."

Hindi ko na napigilan ang paglabas ng hikbi sa labi ko. I knelt on the floor, not
minding the concrete that
hurt my knees at pinakawalan ang iyak ko. I keep calling Semper on my mind, hoping
he'll be here.

Before I lose all hope, a figure in black came rushing in as swift as the wind.
When the figure stopped in
front of me, it was Semper. I want to feel relief, but I've become more worried
than I was before.
Suddenly Semper's hand groped Crayon's throat; making him step backwards until his
back reached the
cold wall of the parking lot. He flung his head back against the wall at kung
normal lang sana si Crayon
ay baka hinimatay na siya sa lakas ng pagkakauntog but he just smirked.

Holding Semper's golden feather, Crayon stabbed his own nape with it and light
flooded the whole place.
Napakasakit niyon sa mata kaya agad kong tinakpan ang mukha ko and when the light
faded, black
feathers floated on air.

Gone was Legion.

Kasabay ng pagbagsak ng ilang mga balahibong itim ay ang pagbagsak ni Semper sa

sahig. His cap flew
from his head, revealing his completely black hair.

Pakiramdam ko ay pinagbagsakan ako ng langit at lupa. With shaking body, I crawled

my way towards
him. Wala akong naririnig na ingay maliban sa mga palahaw ko. I held his face, the
face that I love the
most and let it rest on my lap. Patuloy lang ako sa pag-iyak at sari-saring emosyon
ang naghahari sa
kalooban ko. Galit, lungkot, panghihinayang at iba pa. It was too many that I don't
know how to feel
anymore. My body felt numb, my throat was sore, and my sight was blurry.
Semper is now human, and as humans... death is inevitable.
7/8
#

8/8
EPILOGUE
wattpad.com/633452480-as-you-lie-awake-epilogue

Epilogue

"According to Corinthians 13: 4-8, Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy,
it does not boast, it is not
proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily
angered, it keeps no record of
wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always
protects, always trusts, always
hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails..."

I smiled hearing the sermon of the priest, preaching about the meaning of love. We
all have different
definitions of it; and for me? Love is what I found five years ago.

I wonder if it was different from all it was, will it end the same? Or I'll wake up
next to the most beautiful
with blank face every morning?

If he wasn't an angel, will I get to know him? Would he like me?

If I wasn't drunk that night, will I find him?

If Daven didn't dump me, will he come to my life?

I am someone who has a positive outlook in life. I'm contented with what I have but
deep within me, I
still have longings for some things. I wished to be found-- and luckily, Semper was
the one who found me.

As he found me, I found love.

Before, I used to lay, wide awake and let him invade my dreams, my mind and
everything in me.
1/3
Now, I always lie in bed, awake but swimming in the memories of those nights where
he used to visit me
in my dreams. It's torture, I know, but it's the only way to keep him close to me.

I lie in bed awake, think of him even if it hurts so bad.

No matter what I do, the memories of him just keep haunting me. It somehow made me
laugh, made me
cry and always make me miss the good days I had with him.

Those are the memories that I will treasure every day.

Yes, I found love on a two-way street but end up walking alone on a highway.

It was a sad departure, but the only thing I can do is to look back and be happy
that even for a short
period of time, I found him, and he found me.

It was forbidden; it was wrong, but love makes it right.

I was happy. I will always be.

I miss you so bad. I love you Semper, you are my first and definitely my last.

Semper fidelis-- Violet Dizon.

END OF AS YOU LIE AWAKE BOOK 1