1. Normally in Philippines’ context, men and women vary in different roles in the society.

Labeling an individual of what is appropriate action base on his gender.

As I read the story “The Chambers of the Sea” by Edith Tiempo, one character stood
out who embodied the struggle of searching his identity, purpose and acceptance based
on what he prefers to be.

When Tio Teban’s father desired to take his place, he declined to do so and this act
brought serious contempt to their relationship. To live with the expectation of your family
and society is an emotional and mental stigma that if not properly addressed would lead
to inefficacy.

In an instance, a child was deprived of his right to display his true emotion, there’s a
possibility that when he grew up, it would manifest outside home. This transpired to
Esteban Ferrer leading to the suppression of his resentment toward his own family.
Ideally, a great escape to his emotional turbulence especially when your parent
indicates authority over you.

As stipulated on Parental Involvement in the Philippines: A Review of Literatures by

Melissa T. Bartolome, Nordin Hamat & Abdul Halim Mashan, that Pilipino parents in
general subscribe to authoritarian attitudes (Alampay, L.Cn.D, Parenting in the
Philippines, Ateneo De Manila University, Research). Moreover, her study presented
cultural values of helping others, shyness and paying back which are commonly
practiced to maintain respect for parental authority and obedience on the part of the
children and meeting familial obligations. Conversely, on some cases, strong-willed
contradicts the traditional idea of being confined towards their parents’ aspiration for
them. It leads them to the point of escape.

On the other hand, Tio Teban’s womanish disposition despite his gender only shows his
preference. It becomes odd when the society stereotypes. As long as, you pour your
heart into it, I believe there’s nothing wrong with it. Each being has the right to express
himself in actions possible, provided that your deed doesn’t affect other peoples’ right.
According to Susan Sontag, what is the most beautiful in virile men us something
feminine; What is most beautiful in feminine woman is something masculine. Unlike the
previous eras, woman’s sole duty is to nurture a child and oversee a home while man
display strength as a working man who provides for the family. Many years passed and
many has changed, the strength of a man could also portrait the strength of a woman.
Woman could now carry a barrel that supposedly for man.

From my perspective, regardless of your gender if you love what you do then you’re
embracing “you”. The most beautiful on the planet that ever exist is the one who is not
controlled by other people’s judgement of him.

At some point, being entangled with other’s perception, tend to distance ourselves from
the voice within us. That is why, Tio Teban happened to ask himself, “what is happening
to me?” as he strolls along the seaside.

I think with our culture, we value too much on close family ties which is opposite to the
highly individualistic attitude of the Americans. While Pilipino family, it is with much
regard that the only son/eldest son would assume the responsibility of a father. On Tio
Teban’s part, he departs from it. Instead, he tried to live at his own ideals. Thus, people
like Tio Teban became deviant to his social role. I believe woman on other ways are
challenged with the system. A girl of twelve has been arranged for marriage to sustain
cultural ties.

As Felipe M. De Leon Jr. on Filipino Cultural Identity said that Pilipino popular culture is
the culture of devotion to the family and sanctity of the home, which its source of
strength. Thus, ancestors are revered and the ancestral house has to be a symbol of
family continuity and stability. Bangan Esteban’s home where he nurtured painting,
planting and reading books should be the place of comfort and strength but in his case,
it is only now a restless position.

Pilipinos uphold to the ideals of masculinity according to Sexuality Research & Social
Policy, Journal of NSRC. (http://nsrc.sfsu.edu) September 2009. Volume 6 No. 3 titled
Filipino Masculinity and Psychological Distress: A Preliminary Comparison Between
Gay and Heterosexual Men by Ritchie Jovero Rubio and Robert – Jay Green. These
are sense of responsibility, family orientedness, respectful deference to spouse, women
and elders, integrity, intellectual pursuits, strength and sense of community. As I
observed on Esteban’s disposition, I think he failed on having a sense of responsibility.
As the man in the family, he should take the roles the bond of the family in terms of
paternal responsibility but contrary to this will, he lived on his own. I also agree that
every person is born with a handful of choices.

From onset of our younger years, parents pay attention to our needs but with careful
guidance. On the article wrote by Dr. Janice T. Gibson, titled “When Parents Disagree”,
she explained the action, COMPROMISE in which toddlers need to be considered
carefully, set priorities and make compromises. In addition, she concluded that parents
should respect their child’s feeling. Letting her know that she has done so will make her
feel good about herself. Compromise does not ends there, it should be evident as a
child grows old until he’s at the more matured age. This has been the common
problems of the Pilipino families today. Parents tend to neglect that they are only
stewards of life. They are not the ones who have the hold on it. Typically, when Pilipino
adults go against the will of their parents, they label them as ungrateful brats. We live on
an era that us completely change by the contemporary time. Some mad amendment
just to ensure that every person enjoy his right and privileges to live in a community
where he is secured in all aspects of life.

I see Esteban’s father as authoritarian. He did not consider his son’s choices in life.
Though there’s no violence made by the father but his killer looks, odd gestures tell it
all. Yet, I do not blame Esteban’s leaving home in Bangan if it’s for his mental and
emotional health.

Since young, I always honor my parents by valuing their decision over mine. I’m truly
blessed with parents who raise us in a Christian home and anchored with Pilipino
cultural values. Settled with my family orientation, I carefully abide with their rules until
such time when I have to make decision on my own that they did not agree. It’s
completely disturbing mentally and emotionally. Challenged by my choice, I stood up
with it. I understand my father’s intention but I just did what I thought best for the family.
No family is perfect regardless of cultural setting. It’s true what the anonymous writer
said, “we argue, we fight, we even stop talking to each other at times but in the end,
family is family, the love will always be there”.

This was Esteban and his father missed out. They did not talk about the matter. Thus, it
is pivotal to keep the communication line open. Portraits by Moya MC Allister stated, “To
be a parent is to worry about your parenting. But things can go right just as easily as
they can go wrong. Each child, no matter their age or gender, has unique needs, but a
healthy relationship with a parent can support them all. I believe if they just
communicated, things might go well for the both of them.

Another problem I saw was, Tio Teban’s sister Quirina. As the eldest sister in their
family, she could overlook the rice land regardless of her gender. Knowing that she is
the firstborn, she could take over the place of his father. I happened to watch one
episode of Kapuso Mo Jessica Sojo which featured two aged woman who are both
widows. Due to the existing pandemic, instead of waiting for their children’s support who
are both family men, they used their remaining strength catching edible sea urchins.
Work like this demands for a manly strength however the two widows did not think of
their age and gender in finding a living. The two widows said during the interview that
they only adopted what their fathers had done long ago in order for them to survive.

It only shows that no age, gender or sexuality could tell what a person is possible to do.
If I were Quirina, instead of throwing the blame to Esteban, my brother, I could at least
do something since I am the eldest in our family.

Currently, we see increasing number of women who study agriculture and also run
several agricultural lands. Maybe like Esteban, Quirina also has no interest with the
responsibility or locally family lived in a culture which the man in the family has the only
right to take charge. Indeed, culture has agreed influence to Pilipinos in all aspect of our
lives.

The story “Chamber of the Sea” signifies the human’s search for freedom when it
comes to life decision despite what the culture dictates. In every chamber/corner of our
hearts, there’s this voice that tells us who we are.
Esteban might be completely honed by familial upbringing, possesses a womanish
disposition quiet opposite to his Father but I believe when Tio Teban saw the merman
and mermaid at the chamber of the sea, he realized the very important thing in life. That
is to seize the moment and live his life. I suspect that Esteban went home to Bangan
and attended the wake of his father. Despite what they’ve been through his love for his
father remains. At some point, he also reflected how beautiful life would be if we do
what we are passionate about. After finding out these deep-sea creatures, he saw
himself on the merman and the mermaid. Both of them have tails which shows their
identity. What makes them similar to each other is they are sea creatures. They differ in
their gender but the point is they both have tails. This clearly means that in every man
there’s a part of a woman which is loving, tender, and sensitive. Also, in every woman
there is a part of man which is strength, sense of responsibility and hardworking.