ENG3007

Advanced English Oral Communication Skills

Lesson 3
Features of Spoken Language: Social relationships

 Understanding social relationships

 Speech influenced by power, contact and emotions

 Assertiveness

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Advanced English Oral Communication Skills

Features of Spoken Language: Social relationships

In today’s lecture we are going to understand the intricacies social relationships and
how they vary in terms of power, contact and expression of emotion. Furthermore, we
will take a look at how the regulation of behaviour shows how commands and
expressions of obligations are a way of influencing others’ behaviour. Then finally we
will explore assertiveness and how degrees of dogmatism (stating strong opinions and
not accepting anyone else’s opinions) in a text depend on the linguistic resources for
expressing probability, frequency, universality and subjectivity.

Understanding social relationships

We will first discuss interpersonal relationships

1. What is an interpersonal relationship?

2. What are some examples of interpersonal relationships? Think of at least 3

The appropriate interpersonal stance is quite difficult to judge, but this lesson will make
you more aware of the language choices in various interpersonal relationships.

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Emotion

In some relationships, we are unlikely to express emotion at all. If we do express it,

emotion can be positive/negative, and short/permanent

Feeling annoyed with someone and then quickly forgiving them, or, by contrast,
holding a grudge (a strong feeling for someone for a long time) against them for
years.

Dimensions of relationships

Cate Poynton in her book Language and Gender: Making the Difference suggests
that interpersonal relationships can be analysed along three dimensions:

 Power
 Contact
 Emotion

Power

The Power someone has over you might be a matter of physical strength/force:

o The authority given to a person by an institution, e.g. principal of

a university
o Status which depends on wealth, education, place of residence
o Expertise, the possession of knowledge/skill, e.g. the expert cook
rather than the novice (a person who is not experienced in a situation)

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Contact

We communicate with some people more often than others, and so they will be more
familiar to us.

o Members of our family we might see every day and provide a lifelong
relationship.
o Fellow students whom we have just met we might also see every day at the
moment, but perhaps our relationship will not last a lifetime.
o We might consult our dentist regularly but with long time intervals in
between.
o We recognise the bus driver whom we see several times a month, but hardly
talk.
o At the extreme, there will be total strangers who we have never met, and if
we do meet them, do not expect to meet again.
o Parents and their children are very close, seeing each other frequently, but
there is clear inequality in terms of Power. The same may be true of the
relations between teachers and pupils.

Activity 1

Think of a time you held a grudge on someone. What happened? What kind of
interpersonal relationship did/do you have? Was your emotion short term or long term?
What kind of emotions did you feel? Did you forgive them? Or do you still have a
grudge? Write a few notes below and be ready to share your story with the class:

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Emotion is partially dependent on the Contact and Power dimensions

 We tend not to express strong emotion to people of higher status or Power,

or those who are distant (Contact).
 The expression of emotion will often be an attempt to change the distance
between participants.

Any speaker should be asking herself the following questions:

- Do I wish to come over (influence) as an authoritative expert or not?

- Do I wish to set myself up as of higher status than any hearer?
- Do I wish to appear friendly/close to my listener or more distant and formal?
- Am I going to express feelings, and will they be positive/negative?

Activity 2

Think back to the situation you shared in activity 1. How did you handle the grudge with
the other person/people? Did you express your feelings to the person/people? Were
they negative or positive? Be ready to share some of your responses to the questions
listed above.

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Regulating behaviour

The most obvious way in which we show our Power is by:

regulating the behaviour of other people in accordance with our wishes/the wishes
of the institution we represent.

If we wish to regulate their physical behaviour, the most straightforward way of doing
this is to issue commands/insist on the listener’s obligations.

If we wish to regulate their verbal behaviour, we will tend to use questions,

demanding a reply. In either case, there are more and less forceful ways of achieving
compliance with our wishes.

Commands and obligations

The strongest demand is conveyed a command, or what is known technically as

However, there are other systematic resources in the grammar for telling/reminding
peopleimperative
of what theymood
are obliged to do.

E.g.
Wash the
dishes Have a
drink Take a
bath now

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Imperatives of high obligation generally indicate that:

the speaker is in a position of greater power than the hearer.

This Power may be a question of authority/status, especially when the action to be

performed is for the benefit of the speaker/the institution that the speaker
represents and that gives the speaker authority.

Bare imperatives tend to be used either when:

we have a high degree of Contact, or to people with whom we have very little
Contact (Perhaps having met them once, and never expecting to meet them again.

We reserve the politer forms where there is a medium degree of Contact, but
where we anticipate that Contact may increase. E.g. people you quite like in your
class, but who are not yet close friends

Rhetorical questions do not demand an answer.

This could be because the answer is supposed to be common knowledge in the

first place

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Or sometimes the point of the question is really to make an indirect statement –

E.g. ‘Doesn’t the government realise that we no longer need the Official Secrets
Act?’ is really a way of saying ‘We no longer need the Official Secrets Act’

In conclusion, commands and questions are the main ways of getting other people to
act/speak in accordance with our wishes.

Assertiveness

Most commonly, effective speakers make statements (rather than issuing

commands or asking questions), using what is technically called ‘declarative’ mood.
When statements are announced, effective speakers are claiming higher
status/expertise than the listener, setting themselves up as an ‘authority’.

For example, if the speaker makes informational statements or advances

arguments, we expect from him/her a high degree of expert knowledge/rationality. If
the speaker is an entertainer, we assume that he/she has the special ability to amuse
the readership. But this expertise and authority/status will be reflected in the degrees
of dogmatism/assertiveness with which statements and arguments are made.

Watch the following TED talk video about assertiveness and make
notes: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MEDgtjpycYg

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Role-play practice 1
The context: Siblings Peter and Annie lose their father while climbing a mountain. The
father forces Peter to cut him loose in order to save his sister. There relationship has
never been the same again.

Watch and listen to the video clip from the movie “Vertical Limit” Follow the transcript
below and answer the following questions.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q0gx_D--iDw

Three Characters: Father, Peter (son) and Annie

(daughter) Peter: Dad, she needs a second cam. That won't

hold in a fall. Annie: Screw you.

Dad: Listen, Annie. No matter how experienced.....a smart climber always wears a
belt and

suspenders. Annie:

Dad

Dad: Two cams are safe, three's even

better. Annie: Dad, I ...

Dad: I'm not kidding. Nobody is going anywhere until you put another cam in
the wall.

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Annie: Dad! I have three cams. He's yanking your chain.

(A man falls from above and yells: Watch out!)

Peter: Amateurs at twelve o'clock! Check your safety!

(Climbers fall one at a time) ARGH!

Annie: AHHHHH! Too much weight! It's not gonna hold!

Peter : (Panting, breathing in and out heavily)

Dad: Hold it together, you two!............Now get a grip! We're getting out of this.
(Whispers) Annie, how close to the wall are we?

Annie: DAD! (screams) (Panting, breathing in and out heavily)

Dad: Both of you......keep very still. Try and stay calm. Annie. Is the other cam
moving? (Calm voice)

Annie: No!

Dad: Try and reach the wall. See if you can anchor us back in......Try it.

Annie: Ahhh Argh, UH, Argh,

Peter: (Panting, breathing in and out heavily)
Annie:uh Argh argh It’s moving!
Dad: Peter, get your knife.

Peter: What?

Dad: Just do as I say. Get it! You don't have much time here. You have to do
something for me okay? Cut me loose.

Annie: No, No No!

Dad: There’s too much weight here! One cam is never going to hold us all.

Annie: I can get in

Dad: You understand what I am saying. You have to cut me loose...
Annie: No it will hold
Dad:...or else I'll pull everybody down. Everybody will die!
Annie: No it will hold
Dad: Shut up, Annie! It's one dead or three, Peter.
Annie: Don't Don’t make him do this.
Dad: You're gonna kill your sister.
Annie: Don’t make him do this.
Dad: Annie will die if you don't.
Peter: No! I won't do it! 10
Dad: Cut the rope!
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Peter: I can't!
Annie: Stop it! Peter Peter
Dad: Any second that cam is gonna come out of the wal and Annie and you will
die! Is that what you want? You'll kill your sister!
Annie: Stop it!
Dad: Cut the damn
rope! Annie: Don't do
it!
Dad: It doesn't matter about me. Cut it. We're running out of
time! Annie: No!!!!!! Don’t do it peter
Dad: No one is going to blame you for it! Just cut
it! Annie: No No Nooooooooooo
Dad: Annie and you are gonna die! Just cut it, Peter!

1. Based on watching the video and reading the first line of the transcript. What is a
cam?

2. Why is the technique of interruption important in this scene? How is it achieved?

3. Regarding the concepts we learnt about social interpersonal relationships at the

beginning of the lesson, what do you think about the interpersonal relationship
between the characters? (i.e. power, contact and emotion).

4. How does the tone of the father’s voice display his assertiveness?

5. What do you think will happen to the relationship between Annie and Peter after
this traumatic experience?

Role-play practice 2
Watch and listen to the video clip from the movie “Flight.” Follow the transcript below
and answer the following questions.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nGHP4uGImX4

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Three Characters: flight attendant, Co-Pilot and Pilot

Flight attendant: And how long has Sleeping Beauty been out?

Co-Pilot: Twenty-six minutes. We're gonna start descending any second now.

Flight attendant: Well, looks like you'll need to wake him up.

Announcement: SouthJet 227, Atlanta Center. Descend and maintain flight IeveI 300.

Co-Pilot : Descend and maintain flight level 300, SouthJet 227.

Pilot: What is that?

Co-Pilot: The elevator feels really stiff, sir.

Pilot: All right, don't force it.

Pilot: All right. Margaret, get everybody strapped in.

Flight attendant: That came from the back.

Pilot: Get everybody strapped in tight.

Flight attendant: Ladies and gentIemen...

Co-Pilot: lt's pulling left hard, sir.

(The plane shakes)

Pilot: Power back. Power back!

Announcement: Sink rate. PuII up. Sink rate. PuII up.

Flight attendant: Ladies and gentlemen, fasten your seatbelts now. Fasten your
seatbelts securely now!

Co-Pilot: l have no control on my side. No control at all, sir.

Pilot: We've lost hydraulics. Center, this is SouthJet 227. We've lost our hydraulics
and it feels like our pitch control.

Announcement: SouthJet 227, Atlanta...

Pilot: Turn on the backup pumps. The backup pumps.
Pilot: That is affirm. We are in an uncontrolled...

Announcement: SouthJet 227, Atlanta. Say your intentions. Are you decIaring an
emergency?
Flight attendant: Everybody's belted in. Are we going down?
Pilot: Get belted in. We need everybody in brace positions.

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Pilot: Yes. That is affirm. We are in a dive! We are in a dive! We have lost vertical
control. We're gonna need drag. l want you to throw out everything you got, the
speed brakes, the gear, everything.

Co-Pilot: Gear! Speed brakes!

Flight Attendant: Brace position. Head down! Bend forward! Head down, bend
forward!

Co-Pilot: Gear's down. l don't think hydraulics is the problem, sir.

Pilot: We need to dump the fuel. Do it!

Co-Pilot: All right.

Pilot: Atlanta Center, this is SouthJet 227. We're in an uncontrolled dive descending
out of 21 ,000 feet. We're declaring an emergency. We've dumped our fuel. We've got
a jammed stabilizer or something. We need a block of altitude to work the problem
and a heading to the nearest airport.

Announcement: SouthJet 227...

Pilot: l can't hold it. Dump the flaps. -Dump the flaps.
Co-Pilot: We're still fast.
Pilot: Just do it. Do it. Thirty degrees.

Pilot: 315 we’ll try our best. All right, that bought us a little time. That bought us a
little time. Now we got to revert to manual control. Your side first.

Co-1.Pilot:
WhatOkay, gotthink
do you it. Nothing. No intonation
about the control. Oh,used
no, we're
in thisdiving
scene?again!

Announcement: PuII up. Sink rate. PuII up. Sink rate.

2. What speaking techniques does Leonardo Dicaprio (the main speaker) use in
Co-Pilot: Damn it.
order to express himself?
Pilot: All right. Okay, okay, look. l can't let go of my side. See if you can reach my side.

Co-Pilot: l can't reach it, sir.

Pilot: Just... No, stay strapped in. Stay strapped in. Margaret! Margaret!

Flight attendant: Oh, God.

Co-Pilot: We're out of 1 5,000.

Role-play practice 3
Flight attendant: God, what's happening?
Watch and listen to the video clip from the movie “The Devil Wears Prada.” Follow
the transcript below and answer the following questions.
Pilot: Calm down, calm down, calm down. Get strapped into the jump seat there. l
need you to do something for me.

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Co-Pilot: We're at 12, 9!

Announcement: SouthJet 227, Atlanta. -FueI dump is approved.

Pilot: Thank you.

People on the plane, all say: (ARGHHHHH AH OH OH )

Announcement: I see you're going beIow 10,000. How are you doing?

Pilot: Not good. Not good. Margaret, there's a red lever right there next to my seat.
lt says "manual control." You see it?

Flight attendant: Uh Yeah.

Pilot: Okay. On the count of three, l want you to pull it up, turn it clockwise, push it
back down. Ready? One, two, three.

Flight attendant: Oh, God.

Pilot: That's okay, it's okay. Argh! Come on. All right, okay, okay, okay. Here we go.
We got something. Argh!

Co-Pilot: Oh, Lord, we're coming out at 7,000! l see nothing but houses!

Pilot: Evans! Listen to me. When l say l want you to retract the flaps, retract the
gear, trim us nose down, okay? But everything's gonna be opposite, so make sure
you trim us nose down.

Co-Pilot: Wait, trim down? What are you going to do?

Pilot: Margaret.

Flight attendant: Yeah.

Pilot: When l tell you l want you to push these forward, full power, full throttle. Can
you do that?

Flight attendant: Yeah. Okay.

Pilot: Okay, when l tell you.

Co-pilot: Wait, wait, sir. What are we doing? Why would l trim down?

Pilot: We're going to roll it, okay?

Co-Pilot: What do you mean "Roll it"?

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Pilot: We gotta do something to stop this dive. Margaret, what's your son's name?

Flight attendant: Trevor.

Pilot: Say, "l love you, Trevor."

Flight attendant: What?

Pilot: Black box. Say,"l love you, Trevor."

Flight attendant: l love you, Trevor. You be a good boy. Mommy loves you.

Pilot: Okay, here we go. l've got control.

Co-Pilot: Oh, Lord Jesus!

Pilot: All right, Evans, flaps.

Co pilot: Flaps!

Pilot: Speed brakes.

Co-pilot: Speed brakes! ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHH

People on the plane, all say: (ARGHHHHH AH OH OH )

Pilot: Margaret! Power! Gear up.

Co-Pilot: GEAR UP!

People on the plane, all say: (ARGHHHHH AH OH OH )

Co-Pilot: Oh, Lord Jesus, we're inverted!

Pilot: We're flying. Listen, we're level. We can maintain altitude like this.

Announcement: SouthJet 227, Atlanta Center. I see your position. Four and a haIf
miIes southeast of the airport at 1,800. Are you okay?

Pilot: Atlanta Center, this is SouthJet 227. We are inverted. l repeat, we are
inverted.

Announcement: SouthJet 227, uh did you say inverted?

Co-Pilot: We're losing oil pressure! Pump failure, both engines!

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Pilot: We're all right. We're flying.

Co-Pilot: Fire in the left engine!

Pilot: Put it out.

Pilot: Atlanta, SouthJet 227, where's that airport?

Announcemt: 227 it’s about 1.3 miles

Pilot: All right. We're not gonna make that. Our engines are burning up.
l see a field and a road ahead of us. We're gonna set it down there.

Announcement: Roger, 227.

Co-Pilot: Oh, no, fire in the right now!

Pilot: Evans, we're coming back around. Margaret, l want you to hit full power.
Full throttle, you understand? Here we go. Evans, speed brakes.

Co-Pilot: Speed brakes!

Pilot: Flaps full.
Co-Pilot: Flaps full!

People on the plane, all say: (ARGHHHHH AH OH OH )

Co-Pilot: We're losing the left engine.

Announcement: SouthJet 227, I see you descending through 1,000. Do you concur?

Pilot: Margaret, full power.

Co-Pilot: We lost the left engine!

Pilot: Let it roll.

Co-Pilot: We're losing power in the right! We lost all power!

Plane announcement: Too Iow. Terrain. Too Iow. Terrain (monotone)

Pilot: Are we gliding?

Plane announcement: Too Iow. Terrain.

Pilot: We're gliding. Pitch for glide.

Plane announcement: Too Iow. Terrain. One hundred……………Fifty..................Forty….

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Plane announcement: Thirty...........Twenty.

Pilot: Brace.
Plane announcement: Ten.
Minimums. Pilot: Brace for impact.

Rescuer: l got the pilot! Somebody give me a hand

here! Flight attendant: Oh, my God! (Cries)

(Heartbeat sound)

Retrieved from: https://www.springfieldspringfield.co.uk/movie_script.php?movie=flight

1. Regarding the concepts we learnt about social interpersonal relationships at the

beginning of the lesson, what do you think about the interpersonal relationship
between the characters? (i.e. power, contact and emotion).

2. How does the pilot display his assertiveness?

3. What do you think will happen after this scene?

Groupwork
In your group, practice your assigned role-play and be ready to read it out
loud to the class with the sense of urgency and interruption.

Next, discuss what happens in the next scene and create a short script
together showing the next scene.