THE TRIGGER

WORKBOOK
HARNESSING THE WISDOM
FROM YOUR TRIGGERS

BY XAVIER DAGBA
XAVIERDAGBA.COM
 INTRODUCTION
Navigating triggers is an emotionally challenging experience. As you begin this journey,
please remember to be gentle with yourself in the process. Using triggers as a way to
claim more of your wholeness is an essential part of shadow work and healing in
general. Keep in mind that this is not about finding out who was right or wrong in the
situation that triggered you. It's all about claiming your wholeness. It's all about
becoming conscious of the repressed parts of yourself, to accept them and to validate
them, so that they stop running the show in the background.
The information contained in this workbook is intended to be educational and not for
diagnosis, prescription, or treatment of any health disorder whatsoever. This
information should not replace consultation with a competent healthcare professional.
The author is in no way liable for any misuse of the material.

BEFORE YOU BEGIN

1
You might want some privacy.
This work is a very intimate one. In order to allow yourself to be very authentic
and real with yourself, you might need some privacy. Make sure that you find a
book that you keep for yourself when you do this work and that you are in an
environment that is private and makes you feel safe.

Do not sugar coat anything.

2 As you dive into this work, you might uncover some disurbing patterns about
yourself. You might actually find that the very things that trigger you about a
specific person are also present within yourself. It is very important to dive into
this work with radical honesty and genuine curiosity. That is how you claim your
wholeness. As you do that, make sure not to identify with everything you find
out about yourself. Do your very best to remain non judgemental with yourself.

3
Please ground yourself first.
Working with triggers is very demanding. Please make sure you give yourself a
high dose of self love before you dive into it.

Timeliness

4 It is preferable to do this work as close as you can from the actual event
because the memory and the feelings from the trigger will be more readily
accessible.

Embody the observer.

5 As you dive in within yourself, it is important to adopt the perspective of the

observer within you. This is the part of you that is genuinely curious about what
is going on in your inner world. This is the part of you that is willing to become
aware, to see, to feel, to hear with full acceptance and without casting a
judgement. The observer within does not create stories. Practice navigating your
inner world from that perspective and remember to be gentle with yourself.

X A V I E R D A G B A . C O M
 THE TRIGGER WORKBOOK

1
What is the situation or event that triggered you? (Please describe the
situation extensively. What did you see? What did you hear? Who said it? What
was their tone?)
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What is the meaning that you created about the situation that

2 you experienced? (Eg: "the way he talked to me was extremely

disrespectful". Allow yourself to answer this question with complete
honesty. Trying to rationalize it would hinder the process)
____________________________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________________________

What did you see in the behaviour of the person that triggered

3 you?
A trait that you know you possess too, but that you dislike
about yourself? If yes, what is it?
A trait that you strongly judge? If yes, what is it?
Something that you envy? If yes, what is it?
(Take the time necessary to really ponder this question. It is necessary to
answer here with radical honesty. There might be great insights available for
you here. Be welcoming of any answer that you receive. It is very important not
to judge yourself about what you find out or to make yourself “wrong”)
________________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________________

Now focus completely inward. Take your focus away from the

4 triggering situation and everyone that was involved. Focus purely

on how you felt when the trigger happened. What are the feelings
and emotions that you experienced?
____________________________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________________________

Take a moment to fully FEEL the emotions that came up for you

5 and to FULLY VALIDATE THEM. (This step is very crucial. Please take the
time necessary to sit in silence and to fully feel what came up for you. You can
validate these emotions with affirmations such as: “what I felt is valid”, “I
am not a bad person because of the way I felt”, “There is nothing
wrong with the way I felt”, “There is nothing wrong with me because of
how I felt” etc. Choose the ones that resonate the most with you and feel free
to build your own. These affirmations are more effective when you speak them
out loud.)

X A V I E R D A G B A . C O M
 THE TRIGGER WORKBOOK

Ask yourself when you felt this way for the first time. Use all your

6 senses to remember this experience. It is very important to

receive that experience without any judgement.
(It is possible that you receive a memory that was very painful for you or even
uncover a trauma. If it is too painful for you to navigate it at the moment,
please skip this question and the next one for now and go to question 8.
PS: if you uncovered and extremely painful trauma, please make sure
you reach out to a professional for help.)

If you uncovered a memory where you felt this way for the first

7 time, visualize your adult self walk into the the memory and join
your younger self in that memory. Join your younger self in feeling
all the ways he/she felt back then without judging it. FULLY
VALIDATE the way your younger self felt back then. You may use
some of the affirmations that you used at step 5 as you address
your younger self. 
(It is very important not to rush this step.)

Ask yourself right now, how you’d rather respond the next time

8 you are in a similar situation, in a way that is coherent,

compassionate and that honors who you are now. Write your
answer below.
(This step is very important because this is where you design how you'd rather
show up next time in a way that is more conscious.)
________________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________________

Close your eyes, visualize the situation that just triggered you and

9 instead of the reaction that you had, see yourself responding in

the way that you described at step 8. Feel all the ways it would
feel to respond this way instead. Commit to responding this way
the next time you are confronted with this person or this
situation.
(This is where you rehearse mentally what it looks and feels like for you to
show up as the new expanded version of yourself. This is a way for you to
consciously design your future self.)

X A V I E R D A G B A . C O M
 AFTERWORD

This workbook is an initiation to working with your triggers instead of

dismissing them. The only purpose of this workbook is to help you navigate
your triggers in a way that is more conscious and to extract the growth that is
available for you as you do this work.This workbook is not meant to help you
heal any traumatic memory and it IS NOT a substitute for the help of a mental
health professional.

ABOUT QUESTION 3: THE 3 MIRRORS.

Question 3 introduces you to 3 mirrors that can help you extract a learning
from your triggers.

Mirror 1: Self denial. If you uncover something about the person that
triggered you that is present in you but that you dislike, the invitation is to
have compassion for yourself.

Mirror 2: Judgement. If you uncover something about the other person that
you judge strongly, the invitation here is to practice compassion for them.

Mirror 3: Envy. Envy is a powerful mirror of possibility. If you uncovered

something about them that you are envious of and you get triggered because
of that, it might be because you don’t believe that it is also possible for you.
The invitation here is to begin to cultivate that belief in yourself. A great way to
do that is to practice celebrating them every time you get envious of them.

Finally, I know this sounds repetitive, but let me say this again: working with
triggers is extremely challenging. Remember to be gentle with yourself in the
process. Use this workbook as many times as you need and every time you
uncover a new trigger. After every single use of this workbook, my invitation for
you is to to practice self care. In my experience, if you use this journal enough
times, it will become second nature for you to analyse your triggers more
consciously and your healing and growth will be accelerated.

Sending you much love to assist you in this process.

- Xavier.

X A V I E R D A G B A . C O M