Is Life and Death a Nightmare or Not?

“Why do people have to die?” this is a question that most of the people often ask
themselves most especially those who lost their family, friends and loved ones. “If we
will all be dead in the end, what is the sense of life?” Well, we do not know what the real
reason behind everything because we all know that the only one who knows and can
answer you everything is right up there and what is just sad is that, He is not physically
with us and we cannot talk to Him directly and more personally like how we
communicate with other people.
Three months ago, I lost the most precious person in my life; my mom. She was
the only parent left for us, her three children. I grew up in not having a complete family
but I am not ashamed of that and that is just fine. Why? Because we still have our mother
who loves us unconditionally and more than her life. Since our father left us, my mother
needed to work full time so that she can provide us our necessities. I am not mad at my
father but I cannot love him the way I love my mama. I am very proud of my mother just
the way she is. She was incredible, helpful, the most industrious and responsible person I
know. Aside from that, she is indeed beautiful. She was my best friend and my food
buddy. She had stroke when we were just a child but then she recovered with that before.
Then, she had stroke again in the year 2018 and that was the time that she needed to stop
working and just be at our home and luckily, at that time, my brother had his permanent
work. We were so happy because at last, she can enjoy her life without worrying about
what will be the next food in our table or if we will have one. July 11, 2021, she died.
That was the most heartbreaking and the most painful disaster that had happened in our
family. We lost our mother/father and we lost our best friend. Actually, she was
everyone’s best friends. We lost the loud laughter, we lost the cutest smile, we lost the
noise, we lost everything. I ask myself, “Why is the need of taking her away from us if
there are other people who wanted to die?” “Why did He chose her if she was the only
person who stayed by our side?” and “Why did He took her that early? I did not give her
the best life she will ever have yet?”. There are lot of whys that was been in my mind
before maybe because I have so much dreams for her and dreams for us.
Death for me is something that we cannot avoid and is indeed a true nightmare
not only to those who is currently facing death but also to those people who lost
someone. They say that if someone leave, there will come a better one or if someone
died, maybe because it was His plan, that maybe He is preparing for something better.
For me, how can be the situation be better if you lost someone who is part of you? It was
so easy for other people to say that “It is part of His plan” when they were not the one
who lost someone. Where is the good in goodbye? I am not questioning whatever His
plan because I know that is was always for the best but it is just hard for me to accept
everything because the pain was still fresh and I think it will never be healed anymore.
 Life is not tied with a bow but it is still a gift. Maybe some of us are wondering
why we cannot live permanently? Why we cannot be happy forever? Maybe the answers
with these questions are simply because that is the most magical and the most mysterious
part of our existence; to live our life always to the fullest and to appreciate things whether
big or small. Maybe God did not let us have an eternal physical life because He let us
decide for our future. He let us know how to control things and He let us manage our
future that in whatever we do in the present, our future will always be affected. Imagine
being able to have a permanent life? It is so boring and you will lose excitement at some
point because you will know that it is endless. What if you have a terminal ill where in
there will be no cure? Do you still want to live endless carrying that burden of yours that
you surely know that it will never end? Maybe that is what the good in goodbye and
maybe that is what a good thing when it comes to death. At least, you will never
experience the pain anymore that you are feeling when you were still alive.
Death is something we cannot avoid. Sometimes it is for the good but sometimes
it is not. Well, we will never have fixed answer about death and life but all we need to do
is to live our life to the fullest while we still have a chance. Be kind, be helpful, be brave
and be thankful because at the end, whenever our time has come, at least we did
something great and we left an amazing memory that most of the people will remember
and cherish. Just like my mom. Wherever you are, Mama Day, you will forever be in my
heart and you will forever be a part of me. I love you and I hope that you are happy up
there. I promise that I will be the person you want me to be in the future. I love you and I
miss you so much.