Madison Wilson

Dr. Dominic Ashby

ENG 405

19 September 2022

The Art of Using Words for Good

I have loved words for as long as I can remember. I loved speaking them, hearing them,

reading them, and especially writing them. Since I was a child, I have been absolutely awestruck

at not only all the qualities of words: synonyms; antonyms; connotations (implied meaning); but

I think the part about words that has always been so compelling to me is the powers they hold.

When I read, words had the power to sweep me away to magical places with creatures and

adventures not even imaginable in this life; they had the power to make someone else feel warm

and fulfilled or (unfortunately so) less than, insecure. How was it that something existed with so

much potential to impact and influence, from someone’s actions to someone’s emotions? I knew

from a young age that I wanted to harness the power of words and use it for good: to help others,

to motivate people, to build confidence and ability in places it seems possible for them to exist.

My love for words came from two places: I was an early reader and writer, and the

second came from my dad. My dad’s job consists of managing and leading several people in

very stressful situations, and much of my childhood was spent being hushed in the back of my

dad’s truck on the way to ballgames. My dad’s ringtone from my childhood is burned into my

brain, and I spent probably countless hours overall listening to conversations about the Ford

truck plant and car parts (I still do to this day). What stood to me the most though and still does,

is how the words and language my dad uses are chosen very carefully based on situation and
person. I learned from a very young age in listening to my dad that the way you talk to others

matters, and that some situations and people call for different communication styles.

In the past two years, I have harnessed the power of words for good in leadership

positions. I served my sorority as the member educator, which essentially acts as a guide for new

members during what is a difficult process. During this experience, I became very literate in the

art of knowing how to cater my communication style to different individual’s needs. One of my

new members was very shy; it almost came across as though she was uninterested. I was

particularly concerned about her following a sisterhood event in which we all watched an

intramural volleyball game together; Cari did not speak to anyone. Even if someone tried talking

to her, she did not give much of a response; and her expression exposed what I thought was

disinterest. Luckily, that night of the intramural game the new members had a survey due where

they report on how they are feeling. Cari opened up in the survey that she was really struggling

to enjoy the sorority, partially because of her shyness; she felt like everyone around her was

having such an easy time getting acclimated, and that something had to be wrong with her for not

feeling the same way or being able to be so extroverted. I did not know Cari too well at the time,

but I knew I had to use my communication skills to try and help where I could. I was feeling

pretty nervous to call Cari as I assumed she would not vocalize much over the phone, but I took a

leap and hopped on the phone call anyway. I spent probably twenty minutes but what felt like

hours talking to Cari, and I was completely transparent with her in that what she was feeling was

normal. I talked her ear off about how my new member experience was not particularly

enjoyable either, but it is because people expect that you join a sorority and immediately have 80

best friends and that is not how real life or relationships work. Cari maybe spoke three words
during that whole phone call, and after hanging up I really just prayed that what I said made a

difference.

Months later in a chapter meeting, Cari was describing her new member process and

mentions that the phone call I made to her that day made her stay; and it was and will be forever

the moment she learned to love Kappa Delta. I did not realize it when I made those surveys, but

having those as an option made a real difference for people who do not communicate so

extrovertedly. I did not realize it at the time, but Cari just needed someone to talk her through it

because she prefers to absorb everything and just listen.

That story may sound pretty profound and heartwarming, but believe me: I have had

plenty of moments where I misread the communication someone needed pretty badly. I currently

serve as the President of the sorority, and several times I have either been too transparently

honest with someone who did not need it or not honest enough with someone who did. Plenty of

times I have chosen the wrong tone of voice or the wrong words for a specific person, but plenty

of times I have chosen the right ones and made all the difference.

It took time, advice, effort, and lots and lots of mistakes before I felt literate in leading

my members and being able to communicate with them well. It took listening to my dad a

million times in the back of his truck when all I wanted to do instead was listen to Taylor Swift;

but most of all, it takes knowing the people you are leading and knowing them well. It takes

caring about them and about using the power of words for good to become literate in motivating

others.