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More than a decade ago, I have experiences that had emotional impacts on my
innocence. My inner child weeps to this sad memory. Remembering those times is like a fever
dream. I remember it all too well.
I’m around five years old when my mother left me asleep and went to overseas for our
sake. It breaks my heart to fathom that I fell asleep hugging her and woke up hugging no one
anymore. I wept a lot, hearing myself screaming her name again and again. When I was in 1st
grade, I was a victim of bullying because of my timid and shy personality. It was the same time
when we experienced poverty. We don’t have our own house; the main reason why Mama
chose to work abroad. We only slept inside the church, and then woke up earlier every Sunday
to packed things up, clean and prepare everything. The parsonage also became our shelter, we
endured the stingy smell and leakages of its old roofs and holes on its vintage walls. Across the
street is a Fire Station where my father once work as a fireman. We also experienced sleeping
in their small storage room and in his Boss office. Gladly, he had a kind Boss. I remember Papa
mapping the floor and we slept on the old cartons uncomfortably. These are just some of the
emotional memories my childhood had. And I know it’s sad but this is what I think about. Long
story short, it was a tough time; growing up without Mama.