PHILOSOPHICAL

DIARY

by; Cristine Jane Cueva

One of the most difficult things to do is to assess
oneself and evaluate one's own convictions. As
part of your reflection, cite at least five things
that you have mistakenly believed. What opinion
have you held for a long time and later on had
to face the truth that you could be mistaken?
Was there a painful experience in your life where
you had to face the truth because you cannot
run away from it anymore?

In our lives, we cannot avoid making mistakes and

believing in things that we know will improve and
make our lives better. But how sure can we be
that all our beliefs are always right? Just like me,
we as humans have many beliefs in life that we
think are all right and good for us, but today I
want to share with you my story about the wrong
things I believed. My first misconception was that
our parents or family members are always there
for us, but I made a mistake and realized that
they are not always there for us. They are not
always there to help you when you stumble. One
day they will also leave and disappear from this
world, and there is nothing you can do but hope
for yourself. For now, while they are still here in
this world, I will make the most of every day that I
am with them because I know that nothing in the
world is permanent, and one day I will also
prepare myself to be strong when they are gone.
Second, the things I wrongly believed were,
putting other people's views before my own; I
thought I should take care of my name for what
people around me would say, but I was mistaken,
and I realized that I also wanted peace of mind.
Nobody else matters; as long as I'm happy with
what I'm doing and don't hurt or step on anyone,
I'll do what I want and live the life I want. Let
them say whatever they want to say to me; as
long as I am happy, I will value myself more. Like
me, do your best for yourself and not for what
other people say.

Third among the things I wrongly believed was

that it's fun to be alone. Believe it or not, I don't
see myself ever having a boyfriend because I still
have no idea how to handle a relationship. But I
came to the point where I became curious, and
like some adults say that today's youth are
impulsive, I tried to love when I was in high
school. It's not hard to choose someone to love
because it can't be denied that I have good
looks, and many people try to court me. But of
course, I only chose one. I chose that man
because he made me realize that it's fun to be
alone, but it's even more fun if you have someone
with you in everything you want to do.
 It's nice to have someone you can always talk to
about your past. It's nice to have someone who is
always there if you need help. Honestly, at a
young age, I can say that it's good to love. The
kind where you never feel alone and always have
someone to sympathize with you and help you
with all of your life's problems; other than your
family, you have other people with whom you can
talk and share your experiences.

The fourth mistake I believed was the belief that

when someone important to us leaves us, it is
their fault. Sometimes in our lives, we have to ask
ourselves, "Who really has the problem?" Maybe
because you don't notice that there is something
wrong with you too, and the problem lies with
you. Just like I used to, I really believed that
whoever left him was the one who was wrong,
the one who was guilty, the one who had a
shortcoming, and I didn't blame myself because
that was my belief, until I realized that maybe I
was being left because the problem was really
mine, that maybe I was the main problem, and
that's why no one stayed with me. At first, I didn't
really admit to myself that I was the one who was
wrong because of my wrong beliefs.
 But now I know that sometimes the problem
really lies with me because I, as a woman, want
someone who always updates and gives me time,
but sometimes we don't realize that we are
overdoing it and we are suffocating our partners,
which is why they don't stay. Now that I know I'm
at fault and admit it, I hope the people who read
this can also admit their mistakes; let's not be
blind just to feel better.

The fifth is the belief that everyone you consider

a friend also considers you a friend. I know many
of us have fallen victim to this kind of incident,
especially now that many of us are experiencing
it in our circle of friends and feeling that we do
not belong to them. With our friends, I know that I
have been true to them because I believe that
they are the same way toward me. I do what they
like; I help them where they have difficulty, for
example, with activities and assignments. When
they have problems, I'm there to lean on them.
But I noticed that when I need them too, I feel
like I'm alone. They can't even give me back the
beautiful things I show them. No one even asks
me if I'm okay whenever I'm not in the mood and
I'm sad. I noticed that they only need me when
they need my help.
 They only need me when they want me. They only
need me when their considered friends are not
around, and of course, I feel sad because I think
they only befriended me because they need my
help for their personal interests. They just used
me, and they never once made me feel like they
were a good friend to me. I didn't think they'd
appreciate what I did for them. Because of the
belief I developed, I realized that a true friend
will be with you in everything. A true friend will
sympathize with you when you have a problem.
And a true friend cares about you and will not
take advantage of your help. I just want to say as
a lesson that you should first know well who you
are friends with; choose the right one, and don't
let these kinds of people abuse you.

My last false belief is to blame God for the bad

things that happen in my life. We are all given
trials in life, and it is wrong for me to believe that
God is to blame for why we experience them. As
a young person, I have been through many trials
in life, and I can't help but blame God for all the
bad things that happened to me. First is the test
that I will never forget; it was when my father fell
ill with diabetes.
I remember being unable to be kicked out of
church because I was praying for my Father to be
relieved of that pain as soon as possible when I
didn't mean to blame him for why he chose us,
why we were given this test, why is it that my
Father is so kind, so diligent, so patient, so loving
that almost all the good qualities are already in
him, why is he the one chosen to give this kind of
pain when there are so many bad people who
deserve it? I couldn't help but blame him because
bad people exist—people who rape and steal.
What I didn't understand at the time was why he
tortured my very good father with that disease. I
didn't know what I was going to think until we got
back to the hospital and it was announced that
there was medicine to be taken to improve his
condition, and after a few days we got him out
of the hospital, and only then did I realize
everything I said to our god. I realized that there
is a reason why he gives these kinds of trials, and
that is so that our faith in him can be
strengthened and prevail. He won't give us this
kind of test if we can't.
All I can say about all my false beliefs or opinions
that I have shared here with you is that we have
all been through them. Are we going to give up
now? Now that we are at the part where we
have realized that there was something wrong
with our beliefs before, let's run with these facts.
I know some of these are hard to accept, but
your awareness of these truths will strengthen
you as a person and as a child of God.