MR.

BURNS
a post-electric play
by

Anne Washburn

Music by Michael Friedman Lyrics by Anne Washburn

Pla righ s Hori ons Inc prod ced he Ne York Ci premiere of he pla off-Broadway in 2013"

Originall prod ced in J ne b Woolly Mammoth Theatre Company, Washington, DC,

Ho ard Shal i Ar is ic Direc or Jeffre Herrmann Managing Direc or

"Mr. Burns was commissioned by The Civilians, New York, NY Steven Cosson, Artistic Director"

"For the language of the remembering of the Simpsons' episode, Cape Feare, the author would like to credit
the Civilians actors involved in the initial workshop: Quincy Tyler Bernstine, Maria Dizzia, Gibson Frazier,
Matt Maher, Jennifer Morris, Colleen Wer hmann and Sam Breslin Wrigh
 2

This play is set in the very near future

Then 7 years after that

Then 75 years after that.

Notes on Staging

All illumination is from ostensibly non electric sources.

The first act takes place by firelight, outdoors.

The second act takes place in an interior under a skylight in the afternoon.

The third act takes place after nightfall, in an interior stage, lit with non-electric
instrumentation: candles and oil lamps, probably, or gas.

The third act finale does use a motley assortment of electrical instruments, a few
traditional theatrical lighting instruments but maybe also other old jury rigged
pieces of electrical lighting Christmas tree lights, practicals, etc., adapted with
care and cunning.

In he firs ac people ear normal clo hes b all Gibson s camping gear sho ld
look very new.

In the second act, clothing is looking a little worn, with a few newly made (sewn,
knit) pieces.

In he hird ac e er one is cos med o look like The Simpsons and sho ld be
wearing a combination of vintage pieces from the early 21th century, and new
pieces adep l made from clo h, hich don look q i e righ o o r e es.

Notes on Notation

Words or phrases in square brackets are thought/implied, but not said.

Sen ences hich don end in periods are ho gh s hich ha e come o a close
but not been entirely concluded or dropped.
 3

Characters

In order of appearance:

MATT
JENNY
SUSANNAH
SAM
COLLEEN
GIBSON
QUINCY
NEDRA

Roles are doubled/tripled like so:

MATT Homer/Scratchy
JENNY Marge/Marge
SUSANNAH Lisa & Second FBI Agent/Itchy
SAM Bart/Mr. Burns
COLLEEN First FBI Agent/Lisa
GIBSON Loving Husband & Sideshow Bob/Homer
QUINCY Businesswoman/Bart

Everyone participates in the second act medley, and everyone spare sings chorally
in the third act -- with Nedra (playing Edna Krabappel) as the Chorus Leader.
 4

Every story ends on

a dark and raging river

The First Act

A warm night in early October.

End of season crickets.

Faintly, we can hear a stream.

Five people around a fire, on a mixed

arrangement of indoor chairs, sports or lawn
chairs and a fancy new couch.

Colleen is huddled a slight distance away.

MATT
I s ar s he episode s ar s i h Bar ge ing le ers sa ing I m going o kill o
Bar .

JENNY
B doesn Lisa, doesn she ha e a pen pal or some hing?

SUSANNAH
oh

MATT
No, ha s some hing uh yes she has a pen pal and ha s like a ha s an
other yes it starts with she has a pen

JENNY
she has a pen pal from someone in some Asian country

MATT
Yes like a repressed co n r or some hing and h Bar is like h hinks ha s is
making fun of her
 5

JENNY
Something like that and then he gets a letter

MATT
Right right he gets the letter and it says written in what appears to be blood like
I m going o kill o Bar

JENNY
(Laughing.)
Yeah ha s righ

MATT
He ge s hese le ers and like no one, like e er one s really blasé about it and at
one poin he s like and everything is shot like Cape Fear so like there are like all
these smash cuts where its just like: Dunnnnnngh where like they start on a
start on a shot and then sort of widen out in this way that Cape Fear like

SUSANNAH
The second Cape Fear

MATT
The second he DeNiro so i s like i ll be he ll open a le er and s ddenl i ll be
like a smash c on a le er like I m going o kill o Bar ! Oiiiiiing! and hen
like iden o and a one poin he s got all of the letters on the kitchen table and
i s an o erhead sho , all of hese le ers ri en in blood and i s like homp
whomp ell eah ha s he so nd from he Cape Fear so nd rack ha s he
whomp whomp whomp

JENNY
Oh, yeah: whomp whomp whomp whomp

MATT SUSANNAH JENNY

Whomp whomp whomp

JENNY MATT
Whomp

SUSANNAH
(simultaneously)
Wom no.

JENNY MATT SUSANNAH

whomp whomp whomp whomp, whomp whomp whomp whomp
 6

Ma d e a li le c d c i ic i g e he e
gesture
wom wom wom

MATT
And so i s ha , i s ha and i s all of hem si ing aro nd he ki chen able and
i s like die Bar die I m going o kill o Bar dah dah dah dah dah and hen s
like one ri en in pen and he s like his one is ri en in pen and Homer s like
oh I wrote that one because when (Laughs tumultuously.) hen hen ah Bar oh I
ro e ha one beca se for ha ime hen Bar a ooed his on m b and he
like p lls do n his pan s and his b is a ooed i h he ord ide load

Laughter.

and the hole famil is like ahhhh! and s ar s la ghing la ghing for like a
really weirdly long time, Marge, Lisa, and the baby are just like: ha ha ha ha ha
.i s er .I j s ho gh i as f nn ha he o ld j s ake a break from
the episode to laugh a Homer, an a

JENNY
Thre s a court case

MATT
Right. Right right right: the court case. But before the court case. At the end of
ha seq ence. Yo see h a ke ch p bo le sp r ing die Bar die on o a le er
i s a re eal and i s Sidesho Bob

SUSANNAH
Sideshow Bob?

JENNY
Right played by Kelsey Grammer

MATT
And hen he s like eah, pla ed b Kelse Grammer and hen he s like:

SUSANNAH
Not Mr. Burns?

MATT
No.

JENNY
No, i s Sidesho Bob.
 7

SUSANNAH
There isn a fish. Wi h hree e eballs.

MATT
Blink . No. Tha s from he episode here B rns n clear po er plan is
polluting the Springfield river, and Bart tries to shut it down. B B rns doesn
actually try to kill him in that episode.

He does try to kill him (Starts to laugh.) he does try to kill him, multiple times, in
Curse of the Flying Hellfish.

SUSANNAH
E -cellen , righ ?

She flutters her fingers uncertainly.

MATT
E -celle

He tents his expertly.

JENNY
And so he s ri ing le ers. Sidesho Bob is ri ing le ers. In ketchup.

MATT
And then he tastes the ketchup right before we go to a commercial evily

(Tasting it.)
Mhhhhh

And hen

JENNY
And hen once e re back is he on he s and?

MATT
Well here s a brief mon age of him orking o I remember here s a montage of
him doing -- all these menacing shots of him lifting weights and then aerobic
calisthenics (Mincing sprightly voice.) one and o and hree and and ha s
ha when we see the tattoos
JENNY
 8

Wait what are the tattoos?

MATT
There are, there are some tattoos cause you see shots of him in prison doing um
oh yeah because he only has three fingers, because the Simpsons characters only
have three fingers

JENNY
Wait, is it really only three?

SUSANNAH
Yeah that seems

MATT
Plus thumbs.

SUSANNAH
Oh oka .

JENNY
Tha s so eird I didn kno ha . B ha s ignorance for o righ .

MATT
So because he only has three fingers you see the tattoos and they say:

L-u-v and h like

JENNY
Oh ha s from he m

MATT
From

JENNY
From Do The Right Thing

MATT
No no i s from Do The Righ Thing is also s ealing from

SAM
Night /of the Hunter.

MATT
 9

Night of the Hunter

JENNY
Oh

MATT
Night of the Hunter he has, the villain has love and hate

JENNY
Oh

MATT
Tattooed on his hand

SAM
Who s also Robert Mitchum

MATT
Who s also Rober Mi ch m ho pla s Cape Fear ho pla s De Niro s charac er
in the original Cape Fear

SAM
There s onl o hings in his orld, lo e, and ha e

MATT
Yeah ell Sidesho Bob has lo e and ha e b i s l-u-v with an umlaut and I
don kno ho he do ha e b i s some eird he do some eird phone ic
hing i h he a o make i read lo e and ha e.

JENNY
And hen e go righ in af er o see af er ha mon age hen o see i s
Sideshow Bob in court

MATT
Yes

JENNY
And he s charming e er one in co r oh and doesn he, doesn Sidesho Bob
ha e die Bar die a ooed on his ches and isn she here a lad ho s like, isn
she like: you have die Bart die and he s like no, ha s German i sa s die Bar die

MATT
Die Bart die
 10

Colleen laughs.

Everyone turns towards her.

She shrinks into herself again.

They continue as if they were not now trying a

little to engage her attention.

MATT
And then woman the woman in the jury box says anyone who knows German
can be a can

JENNY
Oh ha s righ : an one ho kno s German --

MATT
Anyone who knows German has to be a very nice man

Laughter.

JENNY
Anyone who speaks German, right

MATT
Anyone who speaks German

SUSANNAH
Co ldn be

MATT
Co ldn be a bad man

Laughter.

JENNY
The Bar he. I s so a esome.

MATT
And then the prosecutor ha s a common Simpson s charac er he smarm like
prosecutor
 11

ha are o r feelings abo Bar Simpson?

SUSANNAH
(She d e .)
Oh that guy right I remember that guy

MATT
Aaaaaah, is it not true that you repeatedly threatened to kill Bart Simpson

Bar Simpson, ha spiri ed li le scamp and then you know all the lighting
gets dark -- who twice foiled my evil schemes and sent me to this urine soaked hell-
hole e take exception to urine soaked hell hole we prefer pee soaked stink
hole and Sidesho Bob is like cheerf ll i hdra n

Laughter.

SAM
(More of a whisper.)
Heyhey

His head is turned, looking into the woods

around them.

They stop. Everyone is alert, listening acutely.

Colleen is frozen, listening.

There is a very long pause.

SAM
I s no hing. I s no hing. I ho gh I heard some hing.

So he s free, af er ha . Sidesho Bob is free.

MATT
Right. Yes.

SAM
And he s alking
 12

MATT
(Super distracted.)
Yes, so ha s ha s pre m ch i , and he s free and h

JENNY
(Ditto.)
And then its him walking out of the courtroom.

MATT
(Making a conscious effort to rally.)
And here s a big sho of like, like oosh here s a big sho of like, Paroled
across

SUSANNAH
He s alking o of he co r room

JENNY
And he s j s , he s alking o ards he camera looking a he camera n il i s
like right up against him.

MATT
So he has parole and they find out and the Simpsons find out because they go to
he mo ies and and i s again a spoof of a scene in Cape Fear like he all go o
the movies and DeNiro is sitting in front of them with a cigar

SUSANNAH
Mh hm

MATT
Smoking a cigar and like laughing, Sideshow Bob is sitting in front of them like
going: hah hah

SUSANNAH
The only thing I can remember about that whole movie Juliet Lewis like sucks
Rober DeNiro s fingers in a gross a and hen he bi Ileana Do glas s face,
right?

JENNY
Right.

SUSANNAH
 13

Bi Ileana Do glas face off ha s all I remember.

JENNY
No no he kills he dog. Does he bi e he lad s face?

MATT
He bites her face hard. But in front of Sideshow Bob, Homer is sitting with like
an e en bigger cigar la ghing and la ghing e en lo der and going Hoh! and
Sideshow Bob is like oh no reall ha s j s inappropria e and ha s and Bar
and h Bar sa s h: i s o o re hrea ening o kill me!

And Sidesho Bob sa s What does he say do you remember what he says
what the dialogue is?

SUSANNAH
no.

MATT
I s o ! Bar sa s o re he one ho keeps sending me hrea ening le ers ,
m

and Sidesho Bob sa s

Matt laughs.

oh god wait a minute uh h here s some I remember I remember i s

like here s some, thing, where Sideshow Bob keeps meaning to say something
dreadf l b he sa s i s some ling is ic hing here he sa s i rong I
oh, god i s reall hard o

JENNY
That sounds totally familiar

MATT
they say something along the lines of Yo s a a a from o r son! and
Sideshow Bob retorts like I oh his is or re I kno his is reall f nn

The e a bla ki h f a e.

MATT
Oh!

SUSANNAH
 14

Oh did you get it?

MATT
No. No but I just remembered well the whole first act is ho s sending le ers
so at one point Lisa is like: I know who did it and she calls up Moe the Bartender
because she figures it must be Moe taking revenge for all the prank calls that Bart
has been making and she calls he bar and Moe ans ers Moe s Ta ern , and
she s like Moe, e kno i s o and c i o and Moe s like, oh m goodness,
alrigh , and he goes in he back and here s an enormo s like cro d of pandas
all hanging hiding o in he back beca se he s been sm ggling pandas from
China he re all pla ing poker a hese li le ables and he s like: (Voice.) Oka
g s he gigs p ge o of here andele andele and all hese pandas r n o of
Moe s bar, like, railing poker chips

JENNY
Oh right. Right.

SUSANNAH
And isn here some hing here

SAM
(A driving whisper.)
Sssssssst.

Sa ha d is raised. His head is cocked. They

all immediately fall silent, listening and
watching him intently.

They listen.

Sam reaches behind him and pulls out a rifle.

Matt pulls out a revolver and beams the
flashlight through the forest offstage. Susannah
and Jenny have pulled out revolvers; Susannah
has a more powerful flashlight which she also
runs through the darkness. Jenny has also
pulled out a bowie knife and is placing it on the
ground near her.

Colleen is up and on her haunches. Absolutely

taut, moving not a muscle. Eyes wild, flicking
everywhere.

Ma hi e : dee a d Sa hake hi head.

 15

The e all f e , li e i g, l he ligh i

moving.

They hear something tiny, and all turn towards

one direction.

Matt and Susannah both turn their flashlights

in the same spot.

Sam stands and aims his revolver, Matt stands,

still holding the flashlight, revolver out, Jenny is
up and aiming, Susannah stays seated her
fingers gripped on the light.

Colleen fades into the trees, in the opposite

direction.

SAM
Come out!

GIBSON
I m alrigh !

SAM
Come out!

GIBSON
I m alrigh !

SAM
Get out here!

Sound of footfalls in underbrush. Gibson

appears onstage, hands raised. He has a well
worn backpack and new looking hiking boots, a
new looking windbreaker.

Sam stays standing with the rifle.

SAM
(Not unkindly.)
 16

Shut up.

Matt moves forward and slowly pats Gibson

down, removing his pack and handing it to
Jenny.

Jenny goes through it slowly while Susannah,

standing now, also covers Gibson with her
revolver and flashlight.

Matt immediately finds and removes a pistol

f he i ide f Gib i db eake . He
continues to pat him down.

Jenny removes a knife kit almost immediately,

then packets of camping food, a portable water
purifier, several rolls of toilet paper, clothes, and
at the bottom a few books and journals. She
replaces everything in order, retaining only the
knives.

She passes the pack back to Matt who passes it

back to Gibson although he retains the pistol.

MATT
Thank you. Where are you coming from?

GIBSON
Framingham.

MATT
Framingham, ha s

GIBSON
Massachusetts.

JENNY
What part of the state?

MATT
I s near Hollis on righ ?

GIBSON
 17

Yeah, nearish. I s in he Eas ern par of he s a e, near I-90.

SAM
How did you come down?

GIBSON
I took well I went over to Boston first.

SAM/JENNY
How is Boston?

GIBSON
Boston is a mess.

JENNY
How bad is it?

GIBSON
Yeah.

I s reall bad.

JENNY
I have a sister.

GIBSON
I didn see an omen, I m sorry. I just. I got there, I got out of there.

SAM
And then which way.

GIBSON
I went down 24 to Brockton. I was hearing rumors about a barricade around
Bridgewater so I cut over to 95 and took that down to Providence. Providence
was deserted, weirdly, not even a lot of bodies, maybe there was some kind of
e ac a ion? I don kno .

SUSANNAH
I think they were hit early. So maybe the government cleared people out.

GIBSON
 18

Maybe. I guess. It was eerie, I got out of there in a hurry, I thought I should
head for Stamford, I skirted up

MATT
My wife was in Stamford. On business. She d j s checked herself in o he
hospital there when the city was put under quarantine.

GIBSON
I didn ac all go in o S amford, i as b rned hro gh, b here ere
definitely people in the area and it seemed okay.

MATT
Yea high. Fair haired

SAM
Wai ai , le s do his le s do his properl oka . I hink i s impor an o do
this properly.

SUSANNAH
Right

MATT
Right. Okay right.

They all take a moment to locate notebooks; Sam

pulls a little spiral bound out of his short pocket,
Gibson digs into his pack, pulls out a school
composition notebook with pages paperclipped
towards the back.

(To Susannah.) Do you want to start?

SUSANNAH
Don o ?

MATT
No I d ra her. Uh. Gi e i a min e. Yo go.

SUSANNAH
Mkay. Alright:

H. Harrison. Maureen Harrison. Don Harrison. 64, 65.

Microbeat ea i g Gib eb k.
 19

Yo re no going o open ha ?

GIBSON
I e go a reall good memor .

Microbeat of Susannah Doubt.

Trust me. I really do.

SUSANNAH
Holmes. Mel Holmes ha s a oman. 38.

K. Tim Kapner, Lisa Kapner

And he ha e o sons: Pa l, he s 5. And Noah, 7.

Is it alright if I just look?

GIBSON
Yeah.

He hands the notebook over, she turns to the

paperclipped section, scans a page, turns over
scans another page, flips forward a few pages,
looks, hands it back.

SUSANNAH
Okay. Thank you. I just had to, you know.

GIBSON
Of course.

SUSANNAH
Um .L. Nilia Larkin 14

W. Miriam Westabrook 36

and then this is kind of crazy because she was in California.

SAM
Tha s no cra . People go o of California.
 20

SUSANNAH
I s cra b she s m bes friend since college.

Celia Campinelli.

GIBSON
Yeah. No. I m sorr .

MATT
(To Jenny.)
Do you want to?

JENNY
You can. Go ahead.

MATT
D. DePaul.
Elizabeth DePaul 32
Cameron DePaul 38
E. Arden Edwards 22
I. Ingrassia. Lou Ingrassia, 39.
Jack Ingrassia 12
Stewart Ingrassia 6
Tabby Ingrassia 8 months.
L. Sarah Lewis 39.
(Tiny pause to see if that one landed.)
Erik Shanker 40
Timothy Wald 42

Gibson, who has been listening acutely, looks

up.

GIBSON
No. Sorry.

MATT
Yup. Jenny?

JENNY
Mkay.

She concentrates for a moment:

 21

B. Butler.
Angela Butler, 71
Sharon Butler 46. This is Boston.
Richard Butler 52
C. Cohen.
Miriele Cohen 17
Nina Cohen 19
Raul Cohen 15
G. Garber. Mark Garber 37
Casey Martin 39
Rolo Martinez 50

GIBSON
Wait a minute. Casey Martin.

JENNY
Casey Martin?

GIBSON
I e go a Case Mar in.

JENNY
He s go bro n hair almos 6 fee

GIBSON
Brown hair, tall, yes.

He l ki g i he b k, fli i g age a bi .

JENNY
Glasses

GIBSON
(From memory, still finding the exact spot.)
Yes glasses

JENNY
Glasses and um,

She gestures around her own face, increasingly

excited.

brown eyes?!
 22

GIBSON
Glasses I don kno abo he e es.

JENNY
Lean. He s go a lean b ild.

GIBSON
Uh huh.

Gibson finds the page.

Bethesda.

JENNY
He s in Be hesda?

GIBSON
No, he s from Be hesda. Before ha briefl D.C. and Scran on for college and
before ha Belmon . A in in o n in Maine .

JENNY
Oh. Fuck.

Okay.

Oka , ha s no him.

GIBSON
He was working for Johns Hopkins Hospital in records administration.

JENNY
Yeah ha s, ha s reall no him.

GIBSON
Sorry.

JENNY
I ha en alked o he g in o er a ear, an a , I don e en kno h he s
on m lis . Um

Do I have more?
 23

She might be near tears at this point.

That was my

That was m en righ ? Or do I

MATT
(Gently.)
I asn co n ing i

GIBSON
I can do more.

She counts off swiftly on her fingers.

JENNY
Oh, no. I have one more. Charlie Barnard.

She sort of throws her hands up.

69. My crazy uncle. Shlumpy. Weird. I kno o don ha e him.

A pause.

GIBSON
No. Sorry.

JENNY
Sam?

SAM
H. Linda Hopkins 52
S. Ginny or Virginia Scott 60

He stops, Gibson waits for more

GIBSON
Tha s i ?

SAM
 24

I come from a small town. I know about everybody else.

Gibson nods.

GIBSON
(Not a real question.)
Alrigh , so o re doing 10?

Everyone scrambles to get their notebooks open.

SUSANNAH
Isn i 10?

GIBSON
Seems like, last week or so, people are knocking it back to 8. Mine are:

E. Evans. Peter Evans 70

Estelle Evans 48

Richard Kahn 35 Sorr , ha s K. Kahn. Richard.

L Jon Lewis. 37

S. Nolan Scott 36

SUSANNAH
Okay wait, wait just a second

She ee i g a he b k a d a i g i back
and forth as she looks at names scribbled in the
margins.

Let me just I e go o ri e o a ne book. I didn lea e eno gh room for he

S s.

Okay, no.

GIBSON
Suarez. Lilia Suarez 38.
Petra Suarez-Evans 2
 25

Cynthia Warner 52
Francis Warner 22
Noah Warner 27

They flip back and forth in their notebooks.

MATT
No. Sorry.

JENNY
No. Sorry.

SUSANNAH
(Shaking her head.)
Uh uh.

Sam is checking very methodically.

SAM
No. I m sorr .

A slight pause.

MATT
Hungry?

GIBSON
No, I m alrigh .

SAM
Beer?

GIBSON
Yes. That would be great. Thanks.

SAM
I ll ge i .

He steps offstage into the shrubbery.

 26

There is another pause.

SUSANNAH
How long have you been moving?

GIBSON
Abo a, mon h and a half. I e been s opping here and, h, s opping here.
Mainl I e j s been going.

Little beat.

What about you?

JENNY
I e been here for abo eek. I m from Bal imore. The b g reall ore hro gh
s fas so I lef ele en eeks ago. I as in Wilming on for a hile il abo a
month ago and then, I was really on the move for just about three weeks.

MATT
I got here 4 days ago. I was in New York. Then at my mother-in-la s cabin in
the Catskills. I had to get out of there two weeks ago.

SUSANNAH
I live here. Or, I lived here. Or no, I live here. Right, (she gestures with deliberate
vagueness.) over there.

Sam returns with moist beers.

SAM
Stream cooled.

GIBSON
Oooh nice. Nice. Thank you.

SAM
Pleasure.

Sam passes them around. Gibson twists his

beer open. They all sit down.

You came down to Stamford on 95.

 27

GIBSON
No I cut over to 84 after Richmond --

you heard that the Millstone plant went up too?

MATT
Mills one? Wha s ha is ha

GIBSON
Nuclear, yeah, at Waterford.

SUSANNAH
Where is that.

GIBSON
On the coast, near Mystic.

SUSANNAH
Wait I don kno here I j s kno he mo ie i le ha s

GIBSON
Northeast corner, right near the border with Rhode Island.

SUSANNAH
So ha s uh uh how many miles from here?

GIBSON
Well ell o er a h ndred fif / i s

JENNY
So ha s fine righ ?

GIBSON
170something. 177? 78? I can check my Atlas.

JENNY
Yo eren here.

GIBSON
No, no. I met a couple groups coming from there.

JENNY
They were there when it went up?
 28

GIBSON
They were just scared. They were 20 miles away when it happened but they ran
into some people coming from the area who were in rough shape.

JENNY
B ha s fine.

MATT
It depends on the weather. On the wind.

JENNY
No but over one fifty?

MATT
I heard 10. I heard 20. I heard 50. I heard 50 miles but only for a few days. I
heard 50 miles but only for a few months. I heard a hundred, for a hundred
million years. I mean.

I just stay away. When I know how to stay away.

GIBSON
(Looking at Atlas.)
186.

MATT
Wa erford e re fine. There are o her plan s lots closer.

Well, there are.

SAM
(Steering it away.)
Then you cut over to 84.

GIBSON
I c o er o 84; here are barricades on 84 from j s eas of Har ford n il I don
know, I cut the whole scene a really wide berth, but I rejoined 84 just past
Southington and it was fine. I crossed the river near Tarrytown and followed 287
a little while, then left 287 and went by (He thinks a moment.) Spring Valley,
Ramsey, Hopatcong. Here.

SUSANNAH
I heard that West Pennsylvania, that all of West Pennsyl ania is
 29

JENNY
I don hink ha s r e. I hink ha s j s a cra r mor. I do.

SAM
There are a lot of crazy rumors.

JENNY
I s no like i as s dden. There ere eeks and eeks and eeks where it was
pretty clear -- they had weeks and weeks and weeks to plan for this.

MATT
I think there was a lot of pressure, though. To keep the plants going, to keep the
grid up, they were so worried about the grid going down and everyone freaking.

GIBSON
On the news there was this one guy who was saying, they no longer have the
personnel, in a lo of places, ha o can j s sh hem do n and alk a a
you have to have all of these people, hundreds of trained people, meticulously
stow the uh, material away and uh, that they may have waited too long.

JENNY
I didn see his. When as his.

GIBSON
It was local. It was one of the last broadcasts before everyone started to go off
the air.

MATT
People are not competent. Can I just say that? People, are not competent.

There is a pause.

SUSANNAH
I ran into a guy in the Wal Mart. We were talking about duct tape here isn
any left at the Wal Mart, of course, and I never got any before because I thought,
ell, reall , ha s he se, and no I m sorr beca se i s hand and I ha e
going in o ho ses, I m no good i h he s ink, so e ere alking abo here
would still have it he had a really good suggestion which is the janitorial areas
at schools and anyway we were talking about duct tape, and he had a cousin
 30

who worked at a nuclear po er plan , O s er Creek i s near Asb r Park and he

said

JENNY
Where is that. Where is Asbury Park. How many miles from here.

Gibson is reaching for his Atlas.

MATT
I s aro nd a h ndred.

JENNY
A hundred.

MATT
Indian Point is actually a lot closer.

JENNY
How much closer.

SUSANNAH
About 30.

There is a pause.

SAM
What did he say? The guy. You ran into him at the Wall Mart and he said.

SUSANAH
He said ha he re ha ha happens is ha hen he plan opera ors ake he
plant offline that the cooling pools, which is where, you know

MATT
Right.

SUSANNAH
That that whole system continues to operate and that the radioactivity, the rods,
are fine, basicall , for as long as here s elec rical po er o he plan . The j s sit
here, i s fine. And ha hen he po er goes o here are massi e genera ors,
and they continue to power the plant and the cooling pools for, weeks. But then
they run out of fuel.
 31

And the electricity stopped, and the fires started and everyone is really,
dis rac ed, and he reali es, he grad all reali es, o kno I don hink an one
is thinking about this. And he eeks are kind of icking a a .

JENNY
The fires were before.

MATT
The fires. No. The fires were after.

JENNY
The fires started before the grid went down.

MATT
The big fires. The crazy explosions. Those were after.

JENNY
Not where I was.

SAM
It depended on where you were.

MATT
Babe.

JENNY
Yeah I m j s . All righ . Before. Af er. Before. (To Susannah: ) I m sorr , he
realizes.

He realizes no one is thinking about it.

SUSANNAH
He h eah.

The e a all a e.

He thinking about it.

So he decides, ell, oka . I s on me.

So he form la es his plan, here he s going o s ock p on f el and he s going to

go to the plant, and find the generator shed, and he says the shed is going to be
 32

locked, beca se hen people are panicking he aren hinking he j s lock.

I m going o ha e o break i open. I ll bring a cro bar I ll pr he f ck o of i
I ll. I ll b s he shed open, and I ll ref el he genera ors, and ha s, ha s ha
I ll do, righ , for mon hs, ha ill be m ask, his is ha I ill dedica e m self
to, to refueling those massive generators. Until finally the generators will break
down, beca se hings al a s break do n, b a ha poin

I g ess ha ha poin i s differen ? The radioac i i has se led? Or, like, he

ors of i has b bbled a a ? He as e ci ed, i asn clear.

MATT
I s s ill radioac i e. I s s ill j s as radioactive. For, like, a hundred thousand
ears i s s ill, j s as radioac i e.

SUSANNAH
Yes b I hink he ho gh i o ld be, he gasses o ldn b ild p or ha e er
here o ldn be his iss e of e plosions or pl mes, an a

JENNY
But he knew what he was talking about, right? He knew.

SUSANNAH
Yeah but did he? His cousin worked in the guardbox at the gate. I mean, he
had these terms.

And he told me that he had gone to do it, he had, he was at a gas station, a mile
and a half from the main entrance. I s his gorgeo s fall da and he s siphoning
off one of the tanks. He has containers. He has a dolly, or what are those things,
here i s a co ple of planks, basicall , on heels like his (She indicates
dimension.) and usually it has strips of carpeting on it?

SAM
(Helpfully.)
Yeah ha s a doll .

SUSANNAH
Oka es, so he has a doll . He s de ermined, he s o all se o go. And hen
he had a, he had a. A flash? A very vivid -- just one of those, fantasies you have
all of a sudden. He said he saw himself walking towards the plant

and here s he reac or righ abo e him, and p he li le ser ice road a and
he s a he shed, he he ser ice shed and he b s s a he lock n il he b s s i
open. And he pictures this shed as being, vast , shadowy, and at the end of it this
h ge h lking genera or. And he s mane ering he doll inside hen he
reali es, ha i s q ie . I s so q ie . He lo ers he doll and he alks, all he a
 33

across he shed, his boo s on he concre e floor. He s s anding righ in front of the
silen genera or and he reaches o , he o ches i : i s cold, dead. He s oo la e.

And his heart is pounding. And he has a flutter in his stomach which he thought
what is this, is this adrenaline? And he thinks: probably not. And this ache,
starting up in his head.

And he lea es he shed and he reac or i s righ here, righ abo e him, half lit
up by sunlight,

And now he gets the first wave of nausea and. He disco ers he s shi ing his
pants. And. This is weird. He doesn an he reactor to get to watch him die.
So he s ar s off, back do n he road. And he s hinking, all I an is o ge
aro nd ha c r e p here. So I m o of sigh . Fee s, j s carr me ha far.
Fee s don fail me no .

And this is the point where he snaps o of i . He s s anding a he gas s a ion,

i h his doll , and, 6 gas canis ers he s scro nged from garages, and a fe
plastic tubs he found in restaurants. And he looks up the roadway leading to the
plan . And he kno s he can do i . He drops the siphon. He walks away.

He said: i s no kno ing, ha s he problem. He said: I hink I j s can handle

the dread.

And then we talked about duct tape.

I ha e a bo of i . Yo re elcome o some if o an .

There is a rather. Long. Pause.

Broken by Gibson.

GIBSON
(Creepy voice.)
I ll s a a a alrigh . I ll s a a a forever.

Ghastly moment. Jenny has pulled out her gun.

Gibson sees it. They lock eyes for an instant,
a d he he eali e ha ha e ed.

GIBSON
Tha s he line. I s: Oh I ll s a a a from o r son/ alrigh

MATT
(Relief.)
 34

Oh

GIBSON
Stay away forever.

Laughter.

SUSANNAH
(The line)
Oh

MATT
Yes. Yes. Yeah i s, I kne i as

SUSANNAH
(To Jenny.)
Thank God, right?

JENNY
I was going to blow you away, I swear to God.

I ll s a a a fore er

MATT
(Piecing it together in his head.)
Right. Right

SAM
The re in he mo ie hea er

GIBSON
Marge sa s: o re an a f l man his is af er he rns aro nd and he , he re
gasping and Bart says/ i s o

MATT
(Simultaneously.)
I s o

GIBSON
Yo re he one hose been r ing o kill me and Marge sa s: o re an a f l
man, stay away from my son

and he sa s: Oh I ll s a a a from o r son alrigh . I ll s a a a Forever.

 35

MATT
Yes. Yes.

GIBSON
Which freaks Homer out.

MATT
(Laughter, thigh slapping.)
Yes.

GIBSON
And hen Sidesho Bob sa s oh no, sorr , sorr , ha s no good, and he s
frustrated, and he walks off.

JENNY
Awesome.

MATT
Yes. That is it.

SUSANNAH
(To Gibson.)
Tha s grea . Tha s so grea .

JENNY
Can you do that with the rest of the episode?

SUSANNAH
Oh yes.

GIBSON
I can I can I reall ish I co ld.

JENNY
No you underestimate yourself, that was brilliant.

SUSANNAH
That was so good.

GIBSON
I e ac ally never watched an episode of The Simpsons all the way through.
That bit comes from an ex girlfriend, she used to have this thing this little
routine she was a Simpsons fiend like o d sa lis en o ld o mind
 36

no dr mming o r fingers like ha and she d sa oh I ll s op dr mming m

fingers alrigh , I ll s op dr mming hem forever.

JENNY
Huh

GIBSON
Comple el anno ing. She s he one o reall need, serio sl , she kno s all of
them, she was always quoting from them.

The e ha bi f a ause again.

MATT
I m Ma b he a .

GIBSON
Gibson.

JENNY
Jenny.

SUSANNAH
Susannah.

SAM
Sam.

Susannah is looking off into the woods to see if

she can see Colleen.

GIBSON
You were in the middle of the episode.

MATT
We were. We were in the middle, of he episode

JENNY
Where were we?

GIBSON
Pandas.

MATT
 37

Pandas, right. The Pandas.

SUSANNAH
And Moe as shoeing hem a a andele andele

JENNY
That was so much earlier we were actually

SAM
Movie theater.

SUSANNAH
Right we were in the movie theater

MATT
I ll s a a a from o r son alrigh , I ll s a a a Forever.

SUSANNAH
So good.

JENNY
And then he goes off

MATT
He goes off and hen ne .

JENNY
The re on a ho seboa , righ ? On

MATT
The re on a ho seboa .

JENNY
On, is it Cape Fear? In the cartoon?

MATT
Terror Lake.

JENNY
Right! And there are piranhas.

MATT
There are piranhas.
 38

JENNY
And he s r nning, righ ? From he piranhas? He s r nning and

MATT
Yes es he is running okay yes Sideshow Bob gets on the boat, and he cuts
the line -- and he s going o um he s go a mache e and

JENNY
Oh

MATT
So he takes Bart, he takes Bart out of the hold, onto the deck, and Bart like (Finds
it.) runs away and he runs to like the back deck and he looks over the railing and
there are crocodiles

JENNY
Oh right, the crocodiles.

MATT
And the crocodiles are snapping up at him and Bart says: (Intake of breath, and
then: ) oh no! and so he runs to the front of the boat and there are piranhas and
he says: (Intake of breath, and then: ) oh no! and he r ns o he back again and
here s all hese crocodiles and he s like: : (Intake of breath, and then: ) oh righ .

They all laugh at this.

JENNY
B ai e re forge ing I hink here s a cac s before

MATT
The road trip. When he re driving to Terror Lake

SUSANNAH
(She remembers this one!)
They drive they drive through a cactus patch! They drive through a cactus
patch! Right?!

MATT
Right, right right right! Homer s like: he e er bod want to drive through
ha cac s pa ch? and he re like: a ! While Sideshow Bob is hanging on
ndernea h he car: O ch! O ch! O ch!

The three of them laugh merrily, Matt most of

all.
 39

Tha s righ , he dri e hro gh a cac s field singing Gilber and S lli an hree
li le some hing some hing school girls e! Three Li le Maids from School are
e! Some hing some hing some hing some hing! The re singing Gilber and
Sullivan

JENNY
Beca se doesn doesn , a he end

MATT
Because at the end, at the very end, Sideshow Bob performs HMS Pinafore. The
entire, the entire Gilbert and Sullivan opera.

JENNY
Oh and at some point, at some point him and Bart are doing a duet together.

SUSANNAH
(She ge i g a e di a i i .)
nope ne er
(Half sung.) nope ne er ne er ne er

MATT
Yeah, i s like:

SUSANNAH
No ne er?

MATT
Yeah, no ne er and Bar s like ha ne er? Wha no ne er? no ne er! no
ne er? no ne er! and he s like, h, (Singing.) sailors never never never get sick
at sea!

GIBSON
(Sung: casual, but firm.)
I'm ne er, ne er sick a sea! Wha , ne er? No, ne er! Wha , ne er?

Well, Hardl e er!

He's hardl e er sick a sea!

MATT
Aha! Yes.
 40

SUSANNAH
Nice.

MATT
An aficionado eh?

GIBSON
Worse han ha , I m afraid: I belong to a small amateur society.

JENNY
Does that mean you can do School Girls?

GIBSON
I have played Pooh-Bah in The Mikado, twice.

MATT
Le s hear i !

GIBSON
You certain? Because the terrible truth is, you really only have to ask me once:

SUSANNAH
Yes!

(Le j a e e a e he icall ha
these are none of them people who, in their
previous life, would have enjoyed the idea of an
impromptu Gilbert & Sullivan recital)

MATT
Hit me.

A tiny preparatory pause. A breath. Then,

with precision:

GIBSON
Three little maids from school are we
Pert as a school-girl well can be
Filled to the brim with girlish glee
Three little maids from school
 41

SAM
Bring it!

GIBSON
Everything is a source of fun

He does the little orchestral bit.

Nobody's safe, for we care for none

Ditto.

Life is a joke that's just begun

Ditto.

Three little maids from school

The lights have already begun to dim

He charges into the next verse with bounce and
verve.

Three little maids who, all unwary

Come from a ladies' seminary
Freed from its genius tutelary
Three little maids from school
Three little maids from school

Colleen has crept back, and watches from the

margin of the woods.

In the blackout a small jump in time we hear

Gibson teaching the others the lyrics to Gilbert
a d S lli a E gli h a . The ble a d
giggle through it, but the result is:

ALL.
He is an Englishman!

GIBSON
He is an Englishman!
For he himself has said it,
 42

And it's greatly to his credit,

That he is an Englishman!

ALL.
That he is an Englishman!

GIBSON
For he might have been a Roosian,
A French, or Turk, or Proosian,
Or perhaps Itali-an!

ALL.
Or perhaps Itali-an!

GIBSON
But in spite of all temptations
To belong to other nations,
He remains an Englishman!
He remains an Englishman!

ALL.
For in spite of all temptations
To belong to other nations,
He remains an Englishman!
He remains an Englishman!
 43

The Second Act

A projection: 7 Years Later

A cozy living room.

Gibson in an armchair with an e reader, a lamp

glowing faintly next to him.

Quincy enters wearing an office suit, blouse, the

heels, the leather purse, the earrings.

QUINCY
Ach.

GIBSON
Ach?

She lets her purse drop to the ground.

QUINCY
I s been s ch a da .

GIBSON
Has it?

QUINCY
Yeah i reall , reall has.

She e i g he ea i g . Pe che b iefl i

his lap.

GIBSON
Tell me all about it.

QUINCY
You know what I want?

GIBSON
You want me.

QUINCY
 44

No, no no o

GIBSON
Not me?

QUINCY
I s been such a day! No, you know what I want?

GIBSON
What.

QUINCY
I think I want to take a bath.

GIBSON
Allright. Go take your bath.

QUINCY
A nice long hot bath. The fluorescents at work are driving me nuts.

COLLEEN
Jenny I can see the plug.

Jenny emerges from backstage.

JENNY
Oh I thought I (Sees the plug.) oh alrigh . Do o an o go on, or ?

COLLEEN
Gibson is that where we set the chair?

Gibson leans over, looks at the spike marks

GIBSON
Yup.

Sam has drifted out from offstage.

SAM
Tha s he spo .

(You want it?)

 45

Right. Left. Right.

COLLEEN
The lamplight looks like shit.

JENNY
Yup.

Susannah looks up, shades her eyes.

SUSANNAH
They must have washed the skylights really recently.

Matt has drifted out as well.

MATT
There is a glare.

COLLEEN
Yeah. We j s don ha e eno gh candles.

SAM
I can rig it up for more.

COLLEEN
Not currently in the budget. Oka .

GIBSON
Richard s he e no go a floor lamp and two table lamps all their interior
shots. It looks grea . The room s all li p.

JENNY
Yeah

SAM
A thinner shade.

COLLEEN
(Agreeing.)
A thinner shade.

GIBSON
 46

Won e see the candles through a thinner shade?

He takes the shade offstage

SUSANNAH
Colleen this should be a bigger foot motion, yes?

She pantomimes the stomping.

COLLEEN
Yeah it can be huge.

MATT
As long as you retract your foot fully, each time.

COLLEEN
Yeah all the way back, all the way forward. And Matt that second blank pause
can actually be that moment/ longer

MATT
Longer. I know I know. Can we

SUSANNAH
Yeah can we just run through that again

COLLEEN
Oh no. Absolutely not. We ll orr abo he episode his e ening. Righ no
we just need to make sure these new commercials are in gear.

SUSANNAH
Okay but can we just, while i s in m head --

MATT
I d ac all I d reall lo e o go aro nd again i hm elp of error. I ho gh
of a perfection.

COLLEEN
Jesus Hell. Alright fine.

SUSANNAH
From the beginning? That would be so great.
 47

COLLEEN
Fine! If we can set it up in two seconds.

SUSANNAH
Thank you.

COLLEEN
Two seconds!
They de-assemble the living room, humming
under their breath something we only half catch
; it ends with a near-universal melodic bust out
f Y H e I The e F Y .

An FBI office. An agent speaks to Homer.

Another agent lounges nearby.

FIRST AGENT
My name is Agent Seacrest Mr. Simpson, Agent Seacrest FBI Witness Protection
Program.

HOMER
Uh huh.

FIRST AGENT
Mr. Simpson your family no longer needs to fear Sideshow Bob --

HOMER
Uh huh.

FIRST AGENT
We are relocating you to a houseboat, on Terror River.

He yanks down on a display screen a map of

Terror River and the adjacent scary
surroundings is displayed.

HOMER
Aah!

FIRST AGENT
We e assigned o a ne name: Mr. Thompson.

HOMER
 48

Oooh.

FIRST AGENT
Do o nders and ha ? Tha s o r ne iden i : Mr. Thompson.

HOMER
Got it.

FIRST AGENT
Homer Simpson no longer exists -- o re Mr. Thompson no .

HOMER
Got it.

FIRST AGENT
E cellen . Le s j s prac ice this a moment shall we? How are you, Mr.
Thompson?

HOMER
(Blink. Blink.)

FIRST AGENT
No ha s o , remember. Yo re Mr. Thompson no .

HOMER
Right. Right. Got it.

FIRST AGENT
Good. Le s j s r n hro gh ha one more ime.

Good Morning! Mr. Thompson. How are you today, Mr. Thompson.

HOMER
------

FIRST AGENT
So when I say Mr. Thompson, you respond, as Mr. Thompson.

HOMER
Sure.
 49

FIRST AGENT
Cer ain o re clear on his?

HOMER
Piece of cake.

FIRST AGENT
Really?

HOMER
Sure thing.

FIRST AGENT
Mr. Thompson!

HOMER
(blank)

SECOND AGENT
Oka look. I m going o call o Mr. Thompson and hen I sa Mr.
Thompson I m going o press on your foot and when I press on your foot and
say Mr. Thompson you say hello, okay?

HOMER
Fire away.

SECOND AGENT
Well Hello There Mr. Thompson (Press.), Mr. Thompson (Press.) hello (Press.) Mr.
Thompson, (Press.) Mr. Thompson Hi.

I f ai he a H e fee a fe
times.

Homer leans over, speaks surreptitiously to first

agent.

HOMER
I hink he s alking o o .

COLLEEN
(Perfunctory.)
Great.

MATT
 50

Hey, can we just

COLLEEN
In no universe. Onto the commercial! Go go go!

A living room is re-assembled.

As it is assembled the cast sings Hectic Day:

CAST
When its been a hectic day -- the cars the rush your crazy boss
When all you want to say is: stop the world and let me off
When all you need is one sweet smiling face to see you through
Brush off your shoes walk through the door your home is here for you
Your home is here for you

An armchair on castors sails across the stage

from one direction, and is grounded. A lamp is
carried out considerably slower.
Gibson steps forward with an e reader and plops
himself down in the armchair.
Quincy enters wearing an office suit, blouse, the
heels, the leather purse, the earrings.

QUINCY
Ach.

GIBSON
Ach?
She lets her purse drop to the ground.

QUINCY
I s been s ch a da .

COLLEEN
(Calling out from off.)
Looks better Sam!

GIBSON
Candles!

COLLEEN
(A little grim.)
Better.

GIBSON
 51

Has it?

QUINCY
Yeah i reall , reall has.

She e i g he ea i g . Pe che b iefl i

his lap.

GIBSON
Tell me all about it.

QUINCY
You know what I want?

GIBSON
You want me.

QUINCY
No, no no o

GIBSON
Not me?

QUINCY
I s been s ch a da ! No, o kno ha I an ?

GIBSON
What.

QUINCY
I think I want to take a bath.

GIBSON
Allright. Go take your bath.

QUINCY
A nice long hot bath. The fluorescents at work are driving me nuts.

She wanders offstage.

The big news is that someone is stealing lunches out of the refrigerator.

GIBSON
Someone is what?

QUINCY
Stealing lunches! From the refrigerator!
Hang on a sec
 52

Sound of water.
She returns.
Yeah ha s lo , righ ?
GIBSON
(Amused.)
Very low. Lunches which have been properly marked?

QUINCY
Yes. Wi h a sharpie. In big le ering.
Las Frida he ook Ra l s leftover Chinese food, and his Fritos, although they
left behind the carrot sticks.

GIBSON
Was this just out in the fridge or in a bag?

QUINCY
Yes, in a bag. He knows the moment he lifts it up: why is this so light? On
Tuesday

JENNY
With his name on it. In Sharpie.
QUINCY
Oh fuck me. With his name on it. (Restarting: ) Yes in a bag. With his name on
it. In sharpie.
GIBSON
He goes to get his bag lunch from the fridge and he opens it up and all it is is
carrot sticks.
Steam is drifting in from offstage.
QUINCY
He knows the moment he lifts it up: why is this so ligh ? On T esda , L c s doggie
bag of enchiladas, her pineapple chunks, and her Sprite and Michi brought in one of
those Sarah Lee Coffee Cakes, for the office, you know, the delicious kind, with the
cinnamon, and she took a piece, and I came in right after she put it out and I had a
piece and so did Michael but 20 minu es la er i as all gone hich, ha s an abnormal
rate of consumption his isn slices e re alking abo , his is c bes -- we asked
around, the rest of that cake is not accounted for; and then Rachael comes into the break
room, e re all si ing here with our cups of fresh coffee, and she opens the freezer
and she turns around with this look, on her face, and we say: what? And she goes:
here s m pi a pocke ? All in one da . Yo kno ha I mean? No one can ea
all of that. Not in one day. The re j s aking i .
 53

GIBSON
The re aking i j s o ake i

QUINCY
This isn someone ho s h ngr . I s a preda or. Picking and choosing from
amongst us.

GIBSON
Huh. So there are signs up.

QUINCY
There are very angry signs.

GIBSON
And that doesn s op his person.

QUINCY
Uh uh. Yeah I think it goads them on.

GIBSON
Yo don e er pack a l nch do o ?

QUINCY
No, I eat out. (Dreamily.) I love Prêt a Manger. Their sandwiches are so cute,
he re so idil c and packaged. I like he roast beef with arugula and parm, I
also like he rke cl b sand ich, he bl ; i s cold o side, here s sno o side,
b I m cked in o he corner of he Pre cozy as can be with my perfect compact
triangle of chicken salad and a hot chocolate and all the rest of the place just,
gabbling, behind me.

The water stops, then after a moment starts up

again.

Hang on, I m going o add he ba h sal s, before the tub is done filling. And maybe
some bath oil.

She goes offstage.

Oh i s all s eam in here.

Hang on

Sound of person lowering herself in bath.

 54

Oh Oh Oh yummy.

GIBSON
(Amused.)
Nice bath?

QUINCY
(Dreamy.)
Really nice bath.

GIBSON
You want me to bring you a glass of Chablis?

QUINCY
Mmmmh.

Sound of mild splashing.

GIBSON
Or mineral water, if you want a mineral water, with a squeeze of lemon in it, or
lime. Or I could get you a grape Fanta. Or one of those Italian sodas you like.
Or a cran-raspberry juice. Or a Diet Coke.

QUINCY
With ice?

GIBSON
Of course with ice. Why not with ice? The freezer is chock full of ice.

QUINCY
So nds dream . I ll j s ha e a Chablis. Or, no, a Die Coke. No, a Chablis. God
i s been a long da .

GIBSON
Sure thing.

Ho s he ba h?

QUINCY
Delicio s. Rej ena ing. I feel like a Brand New Woman.

A pause.
 55

GIBSON
(Out front.)
Yeah?

COLLEEN
(From back of house.)
Yeah. (Beat.) Yeah. Tha s effec i e.

Quincy emerges from backstage.

QUINCY
I s good, righ ?

GIBSON
Yeah nice work, Jenny.

COLLEEN
It works.

JENNY
I s ha fine line between tantalization and torture.

GIBSON
Why Chablis? Do we really have to be those kind of people?

JENNY
People respond well to Chablis.

GIBSON
I hink people are forge ing he as e. And he e hos. The e re er ed o p re
sound pleasure: Chablis.

COLLEEN
I s an innocen ine. People like he innocence.

SUSANNAH
Also, isn Chablis one of hose ines hich as o of fashion b ac all i s
quite good?

GIBSON
No. Common misconception but, no. Quincy, really, do you want to be a
Chablis drinker?
 56

QUINCY
Seriously Gibson? At this point, all I care about my imaginary alcohol, is that it is
aged.

COLLEEN
Gibson I was a Chablis drinker. Like many people, a proud proud Chablis
drinker. (Calling offstage.) Hey what was up with the water?

MATT
(From backstage.)
Sorry. Sorry. My bad.

COLLEEN
Do you need more water back there?

MATT
(Coming onstage.)
I misarranged my buckets. I have a system. (To Quincy.) Sorry babe.

Quincy shrugs.

SUSANNAH
Call the plumber!

GIBSON
What about Shiraz. That sounds fun too: Shiiiraaaaz!

JENNY
Shira makes a lo of people sligh l ner o s beca se he don remember if
they drank it or not and if they liked it or not or even if it was red or white. The
point of a Commercial is to create a reality which is welcoming, not challenging.

GIBSON
Yeah b ha abo ha hole, I feel like e re failing o e ploi , o kno , in
commercials, i s no j s abo feeling co , and bo n , here as ha hole
other thing commercials used to do, like, there always used to be that question of
iden i . Like, i s no j s ha is he desire, i s who has the desire. I think
people are ready for Status again.

JENNY
Yo re joking.
 57

GIBSON
In baby steps. I think people are ready for Status.

JENNY
(Turning every so slightly away.)
Do you know what would be great, if we could get that smell. That bath salt
smell.

QUINCY
Oh I hate that smell.

JENNY
If we melted some and heated them up in a pan?

QUINCY
We ll be s ck i h ha smell all night.

JENNY
If we just get a hit of it at the beginning.

QUINCY
I ha e ha smell. I m no alone. Sam, o ha e ha ba h sal smell, righ ?

SAM
What?

QUINCY
That bath salt smell, when the tub is filling with bath salts.

SAM
Are we doing that smell?

MATT
Wai , ha ? Beca se here s a lo going on back here alread .

QUINCY
Baths salts, bubble bath, that chemical odor.

SAM
I like that smell.

SUSANNAH
Where are the Diet Cokes? Does anyone know?
 58

JENNY
I heard someone trucked them all to Denver.

COLLEEN
(From backstage.)
Do not rela . We ll ha e his resol ed in a ick.

SUSANNAH
I heard ha oo b ha s a cra r mor, righ ?

SAM
There s defini el a lo of r cking going on o Den er.

SUSANNAH
But all of the Diet Cokes? There must have been so many Diet Cokes in
circulation. Millions. I know a guy in Dayton who has a stash of Diet Cokes and
do o kno ha he s selling hem for? Li hi m ba eries. 2 a can. Tha s n s.
Can o imagine? I d ai n il in er and hen I d ha e i o er ice. Tha pop
so nd, he sparkl fi . ahhhh .

GIBSON
Well if you figure. If you figure:

SUSANNAH
Oh no.

GIBSON
If o fig re pop la ion 300 million. Le s sa half of ha is omen. 150 million.
Le s sa of ha , like, 30 million are nder 10. So ha s 120 million hich is
hard, le s sa 50 million are nder 10 or o er 70 lea ing 100 million omen and
le s pre end onl half of hem drink Die Coke, 50 million, and le s pre end ha
 59

they only have 2 a week 100 million and le s pre end ha here s onl 2 eeks
worth in circulation so there should be at any given Before moment 200 million
Die Cokes aro nd in shops and areho ses and hen here s an Af er
population of a million tops

JENNY
Less than that.

MATT
No one knows.

JENNY
It has to have been far less than that, just, percentagewise.

SUSANNAH
I s no e enl dis rib ed.

JENNY
And we lose half again as many afterwards. Those first few years. Half again as
many.

SUSANNAH
No.

JENNY
If not more.

MATT
No-one knows.

GIBSON
Le s sa a million j s o sa and le s sa half of hich is omen le s sa a half
million so for each remaining woman 400 Diet Cokes which is

QUINCY
Which ac all isn

JENNY
Over 7 years.

GIBSON
ha s
 60

SAM
Figure half of them went up in the fires anyway.

SUSANNAH
I was drinking a lot of them. I had them in the stream behind my place. It was
hot. That summer.

QUINCY
And a lo of omen aren drinking hem a all.

SAM
Men are drinking them too though. Men like the diet coke too.

JENNY
Gay men.

SAM
Now hey there.

JENNY
I s j s a fac ha ga men drink more diet coke than straight men

GIBSON
T o ho sand one h ndred some hing

MATT
My uncle the big fat butcher, guzzled diet coke. By the 2-liter.

JENNY
Your uncle the big fat gay butcher.

MATT
Oh. Lame.

GIBSON
Every 7 days. More or less, so. Once a week.

SUSANNAH
I drank a more han ha , hen I co ld ge hold of hem. B I ha en had
one for 3 ears?

JENNY
 61

Everyone was drinking it at first because of the water. People were going
through soda whatever it was.

GIBSON
So ac all ha s, eah. Tha s no so m ch.

MATT
So they might just be gone.

SUSANNAH
They might just be gone.

QUINCY
Except for the guy in Dayton.

JENNY
And a stash in Denver.

COLLEEN
Assuming that any of these numbers are even vaguely meaningful.

GIBSON
Right.

COLLEEN
All righ e re mo ing on o Char Hi s. He Gib, he candles.

GIBSON
Oh right, right, sorry.

He leans over and blows down into the lamp

shade, the light goes out.

QUINCY
Yo kno i s j s as ell beca se ha s ff as going o kill o .

SUSANNAH
No no no.

QUINCY
Don orr I m no going o lec re an bod , i s gone no , b ha as a er
scary sweetener.
 62

GIBSON
Hey can we go a little easier on the steam?

MATT
I s a bi m ch?

COLLEEN
Yeah how much are you using?

MATT
Tha as half a s ick. B he eraser is s ill loaded, i s good for a fe more
sessions.

GIBSON
It takes me back to my substitute teacher days.

COLLEEN
Go eas on i . We e onl go 6 bo es and here s a fire in Here ic Homer.

GIBSON
Wai , Here ic Homer, e don reall an Here ic Homer do e?

COLLEEN
We re nego ia ing for i .

QUINCY
We re nego ia ing for i ? Wi h Prime ime?

MATT
With/ the Reruns

SUSANNAH
Reruns

QUINCY
No no, I know, the Reruns, when was that decided?

GIBSON
Wai ha asn ha e decided. Here ic Homer is a shi sho .

COLLEEN
No, we did

JENNY
 63

We did, Gibson.

COLLEEN
you [Quincy] were at the Landing and what o [Gibson] don remember --

QUINCY
Alrigh ai es. Yes. We can

GIBSON
Wha don I remember? I as here.

QUINCY
Oka ob io sl e can decide e er decision b q or m, b I hink e sho ld
decide on a category of decision which is decided by quorum. And I think
repertoire should fall within that category of decision.

COLLEEN
(To Quincy. Perfunctory.)
Right. Yes. Right. (To Gibson.) Wha o don remember is ha es, e all
agreed that Heretic Homer is a shitty show, but, a) we may be able to improve it.
Matt has a line.

GIBSON
A line

COLLEEN
and b) Springfield Files is an even shittier show

GIBSON
But Springfield Files was a great show. People remember loving that episode.

COLLEEN
In the original. Our version sucks. If we don pla i e lose i an a and
every single time we do play it we diminish our reputation.

GIBSON
If e rade i e don ha e a single sho in o r reper oire i h Mr. B rns,
hich, his is no abo me pla ing him i s he charac er, he reall love him,
someone is going to remember, someone is going to come forward.

COLLEEN
Yes. Obviously. Eventually. Look Gib, we went through all this, we decided.

JENNY
We did/
 64

GIBSON
We decided

JENNY
we did. We had to make a decision on it they were going to offer Heretic to
Richard s.

GIBSON
We decided.

SUSANNAH
Yes.

GIBSON
Was I peeing? I don remember his.

COLLEEN
You were in the room.

GIBSON
Was I drinking? I. Don . Remember. This.

JENNY
I hink o ere angr . Ma be o eren lis ening.

GIBSON
Yeah but was I

SUSANNAH
You were drinking, maybe you were drunk. [Well all right: ] We were all drunk.

Moment while he processes this.

GIBSON
I don . I reall don .

Do you know what this is, do you know what this is, this is brain damage.

SUSANNAH
Oh, no. Don go here.

GIBSON
Deposits. Ruptures. Plumes. Seepage.
 65

MATT
Gibson./ No. Really.

SAM
Gib.

JENNY
Gibson e re no going here.

GIBSON
North Carolina, West Vermont --

MATT
Gibson put a lid on it.

SUSANNAH
Gibson, please.

GIBSON
(Continues over him.)
-- no one knows what happened to those people no one knows what caused that,
h ndreds of miles from an hing, he re all heal h , hen skin peeling off,

MATT
Okay. No.

GIBSON
hen i s oo la e no-go-zones marked off with blocks of spray painted concrete
and elec rical ape ha doesn mean an hing, anks and ndergro nd,
e er one s g essing /no one kno s he bo ndaries or ha s e don e en
kno ha s been seeping all his ime from here er hro gh shale or any or
b d k ha eall g i g

COLLEEN
Yeah oka

JENNY
Gibson!

GIBSON
 66

Those babies. Those horrible babies. / We re brea hing, e re drinking, e re

eating, i all b ke e , you know it has.

COLLEEN
Shut up. Gibson. Shut up.

QUINCY
/No. Gibson. Jesus.

MATT
Really. Really.

SAM
Gibson.
Sam clasps Gibson hard, then clamps his hands
Gib k ll, che hi f ehead
Gib . I a half e b ace, half e ai ,
Gib igh be bbi g, d e ha e be,
Sa igh ch hi f ehead Gib ,i
an unusual social interaction, like something we
ha e i e ee bef e, half c f i g, half
hostile, weirdly intimate, not sexual; what
makes it unusual is that everyone else seems to
take it for granted a d i c f able.

SAM
We re no going o alk abo ha .

There is a small recombobulating pause.

GIBSON
I s j s ha , I don remember s coming o a decision. I remember he
disc ssion. I remember chiming in. I don remember an momen when it
was settled. It really was settled?

COLLEEN
Yes.

GIBSON
I don remember ha .

Pause.
 67

JENNY
I hink o ere angr , I hink o ere drinking, I hink o eren lis ening.

GIBSON
Yeah but.

SAM
Yo ere drinking. I asn a grea batch, either.

SUSANNAH
I as m ba ch. I m gonna o n p. I as errible. I had a headache he hole
next day.

COLLEEN
(To Gibson.)
Right?

GIBSON
Right.

Right.

COLLEEN
Okay?

GIBSON
Right.

A Pause.

What was the line?

It takes Matt a moment.

MATT
I s a good one:

and ha if e e picked he rong religion? E er eek e re j s making

God madder and madder

GIBSON
 68

Yeah, ha s good. Tha s a grea line. The Rer ns don ha e ha righ ?

MATT
Right.

GIBSON
B ha s i ? J s one line.

JENNY
We decided, Gibson. We really did.

MATT
People are going o bring o her lines for ard. Tha s one people remember.

GIBSON
The didn for hem.

COLLEEN
We e go a be er circ i , I reall hink e do. If he lines are o here, they will
come to us. I have every faith.

There is a moment of rest.

For everyone but Jenny.

GIBSON
So ho s gonna play God?

MATT
(Laughing.)
God isn a grea par .

JENNY
Listen you guys, the booth. I think we may need to rethink the Booth.

COLLEEN
Wha s p i h he Boo h?

MATT
Okay wait, no. I know. I know.

QUINCY
Wha s happening i h he boo h?
 69

MATT
No I j s ha en . I ha en been able o s ap in for l nch breaks. T ice. Each
time under extremely extenuating circumstances b I o all ackno ledge. I s
uncool. It will not happen again --
JENNY
No.

GIBSON
(He thinks this is about the barter system, which is his
brainchild but which he feels is not being enacted correctly.)
Jenn ha s he problem i h he Boo h?

JENNY
You guys I don kno ho m ch longer e can b lines.

MATT GIBSON
Yo re no serio s. Jenn , ha s.

COLLEEN
Tha s no on he able. We rel on he boo h.

JENNY
You aren dealing i h people. People are making an hing p and hen I ell
hem no, hanks, i s s ar ing o ge gl .

COLLEEN
B o e had ha . People making hings p, people ge ing angr .

GIBSON
You get that all the time, right?

JENNY
I e go en people ho are h ngr , and despera e. I e go en people ho are
crazy. But after the show yesterday a man came up to me, I do remember him
ag el , and he said o sed m line. I said no he said o sed m line and
you never paid me for it I said I can ass re o , no, he said Calm h self,
Bartron, and tell us now where the magic space crystals which can save the
gala are hidden I ga e o ha line, o said o didn an i , and no
o re sing i , pa p. I said ha can ha e been the line you offered me.
 70

I said look -- we found the day, we found the line I wrote down -- I said look,
ha s he line, ha s o r signa re, ha s no he line in he sho

He said ha is his book, ha is i , i s pen on paper ha doesn mean

anything, you rewrote the page, you forged my signature, you stole my line and
I an m pa men . And he kne , he kne i asn his line, he as l ing o
my face and he knew I knew he was lying.

This g as bold. La el people are bold, and ha s new.

MATT
B e can , no , if e if e s op b ing lines, hen e re going o lose o o
shows which keep buying lines

GIBSON
Well what if we restricted it just, to brokers, to people we have trusted
relationships with.

MATT
B hose g s I don kno abo hose g s he sa he ha en go
an hing, o rade a sho o Richards, s ddenl he j s happen o ha e an
en ire scene. The bes lines e ge e ge from people e don kno . People
who walk right up to the booth.

SUSANNAH
Remember you got that guy, that guy who wrote for the Simpsons.

QUINCY
No. Shit.

SUSANNAH
Or wait, no.

MATT
Oh that guy. That Guy.

QUINCY
He wrote for the Simpsons??

SUSANNAH
No he was actually
 71

GIBSON
This was before you came on with us

JENNY
This guy was actually

SUSANNAH
Yeah, sorry

SAM
I love this

JENNY
This was a guy I can belie e e ne er old o his s or this was a guy who
came up to the booth, two years ago, in Muncie. He was red in the face.
Sweating. He said I wrote for the Simpsons.

I as so e ci ed. So e ci ed. He said: I as he head ri er for he Simpsons,

1973 to 1977. Before they threw me out. I hit the bottle, and I did trays of coke;
sometimes I was violent, I was always erratic. But I was the best. I was the best
they ever had. That show went to shit without me. That was when they brought
in he hale.

They all enjoy that.

SUSANNAH
But I did get that person who wrote for Saturday Night Live.

QUINCY
Oh I remember that.

MATT
Yeah it was good, we bought it right?

SUSANNAH
It was that whole chunk of Heart of Bartness plus some lines for Lisa the
Vegetarian. And he said he had a really good piece of Much Apu About
Nothing b he as he one, he said he d ha e o join p, he said e d ha e o
take him with us.

I don kno ha happened o him. Ma be he en o Richard s.

 72

GIBSON
The re no aking people on no are he ?

JENNY
Some imes. The re also kicking people o .

MATT
Look our episodes are pretty good right now, getting pretty good right now,
e e go a ra her acc ra e sho [ e don an o scre his p]

QUINCY
Richard s is ha ing he same problem oo, I be .

JENNY
Maybe their security detail is better than ours.

SAM
Right here sweetheart.

JENNY
Honey you do a great job b o re j s hiring people o n o o n, Richard s
has 6 guys on permanently.

GIBSON
Richard s can onl be in one place a a ime. We don ha e o be Richard s. We
don need 23 sho s.

MATT
The e go 27 no .
Tha e .

SUSANNAH
27? Whose did they buy?

COLLEEN
Thursday Night.

SUSANNAH
(This is a bummer.)
Oh
 73

JENNY
Well those guys were, drinkers, anyway.

GIBSON
We don need 27 sho s. There s room for more han Richard s Co ch.

COLLEEN
If Richard s has a s rong eno gh sec ri de ail he re going o be able o keep
b ing lines and bi s and he re going o grad all assemble s perior sho s;
e re going o look shi in comparison and lose a dience n il e ha e o sell
our repertoire to them show by show by show.

There a ki d f a a e.

QUINCY
I hear he e go a s ash of li hi ms, and en of hose s per po erf l camping
flashligh s, and he re going o do a d sk o dark showing of A Streetcar Named
Marge, with a spotlight finale at the end.

A bit of a pause.

JENNY
The can keep ha p for long.

SUSANNAH
Long enough though, right?

MATT
I s ill kills me he e go S ree car.

A pause.

QUINCY
Our Commercials are excellent. We e go a grea rep for o r commercials.

SUSANNAH
Our commercials are great.

COLLEEN
Alright. Alright. Keeping it together. Moving on. We e onl go a fe more
hours of daylight and we have yet to run Chart Hits all the way through.

MATT
 74

Chart Hits: (Ra d Me ica acce .) Le s do ee !

COLLEEN
Sam, Matt, will you get the car into position?

MATT
Rock n Roll!

As people are getting into position:

SUSANNAH
Wait but wait, is Toxic in or out what did we decide?

COLLEEN
In for the moment.

SUSANNAH
In.

GIBSON
I s a piece of m sic hich does no pla ell ith others

COLLEEN
But I want it

GIBSON
B she an s i , so e re going o keep for ano her go aro nd.

They get in position for the commercial, perhaps

wheeling the front half of an actual convertible
onto the stage.

GIBSON
1 2 3 4

MEN
Bum bum bum bum Bum bum bum bum

WOMEN
Zoom Zoom Zoom!

COLLEEN SAM
Driving through the American West!

WOMEN
Zoom Zoom Zoom!
 75

SUSANNAH GIBSON
Driving through the American East!

WOMEN
Zoom Zoom Zoom!

QUINCY MATT
Driving through the American South,

SUSANNAH JENNY GIBSON

South West

COLLEEN SAM MATT

South East

MEN
Across the Plains

WOMEN
Along the Coasts

MEN
Straddling the Borders

ALL
with the radio ON!

SAM
Pump up the volume!

ALL
Pump up the volume!

MANY
Crank up the tuuuuuuunes!

ALL
Who let the dogs out
Huh huh huh huh
Who let the dogs out
Huh huh huh huh
 76

What follows is a medley of popular hits from

the last 10 years generally these are not sung
in solo, but arranged for best group singing
effect, there is bravura dancing during this, and
costume changes the ladies, in particular,
should be changing into a variety of great and
sexy outfits the overall effect should be highly
choreographed, polished, entertaining, and
without irony. The really characteristic
instrumentations of these songs should be
rendered as well, but vocally.

It includes:

Thunder and lightening sounds.

Heavy rain.

and I park he car b (and I m parking he car)

I don p on he brake
And you zip up your jacket
and my fingers start to shake

I m on he erge of la ghing
And ma be I m a fool
B I m going o sa goodb e
So lightly
Yes I try to keep my cool

Yes now I know

Tha I e go
to say
goodbye

And I keep my cool

And I do not cry

No I m on he high a and
I roll the top down
The storm lashes my face
As I speed from this town
 77

And I m e i h he rain and

I m drenched i h m ears
M bod s been shaking
For what feels like a hundred years

(So time to say Goodbye

To everything)

And I see and I know everything

And i s he end of e er hing

ending with:

ALL
The

ALL
Thomp

ALL
sons!

Duh Duh Duh Duh Duh Duh Duh Duh Duh Duh Duh Dah!

The Si fa il i i he ca , H e
is driving, he has a Witness Protection hat.

MARGE/JENNY
I s Cape Terror kids, our new home!

And that was not enough time for the quickchange. Obviously.

Obviously. As she is half Marge and half

showgirl.

I s he ig, do I need o be in he las n mber?

COLLEEN
Yo do .
 78

JENNY
Can this thing just be plopped? (To Susannah.) if o can ge he ho secoa

SUSANNAH
Right, and so just [before]

JENNY
Yeah, beca se i s j s . I s a hand iss e. I don ha e eno gh hands.

COLLEEN
Okay so you can be her wig hands, everyone else?

SAM
(Bart is missing a piece.)
Me, but tha s j s beca se I agged, hen I sho ld ha e been igging. I ha e
enough time.

QUINCY
Yeah I m fine.

COLLEEN
Gib?

GIBSON
(From beneath the car.)
Yeah?

COLLEEN
You had enough time to get under there?

GIBSON
Yeah, did anyone see me?

COLLEEN
I asn looking. I ll keep an e e on i ne ime.

There is a thunk. Gibson crawls out from

beneath the car, he is in full Sideshow Bob gear.

GIBSON
Hey, what if he has engine oil, on his face. Just a big blot of engine oil.
 79

JENNY
Yeah.

GIBSON
Like on the nose and (Gesturing.) over.

SAM
On the eye area, like a black eye

QUINCY
Like one of those dogs.

COLLEEN
If you can get it [on in time]

GIBSON
There s ime. We co ld se I don kno ha .

COLLEEN
Was that your thunk? Coming down? Tha asn o r h nk.

GIBSON
That was my thunk.

COLLEEN
I would like to hear more of a thunk.

GIBSON
I don kno ho m ch more of a h nk I can

COLLEEN
If here s a board ndernea h i ma be

MATT
Or a sheet of metal. No.

SAM
A hollow board? A piece of one of those doors.

MATT
Yeah but when [are we going to get that under there].
 80

SAM
You know I think I saw some. In a stash of lumber in the back.

He goes in search.

MATT
This is a whole other moving part. I Just want to register that.

GIBSON
So what do you think Blot here, blot there.

COLLEEN
Yeah that would be kind of great.

SUSANNAH
You need something black but with that reddish sheen, like, viscous but also

QUINCY
B i s a car oon I hink e en j s , m d, some hing black and solid.

SUSANNAH
B i can look like m d i s go o look like engine oil. So i s no j s ha he s
dir b i s ha hing like, all d ring he jo rne , he s clinging to the underbelly
of the car, hot engine oil, in his face uh but he holds on, he perse eres. Like ha s
what makes him scary.

QUINCY
I j s hink, some hing on a person s face is f nn . I hink i s be er if i s no
realis ic I hink ha s j s dis rac ing.

COLLEEN
Okay this is that discussion.

QUINCY
This is a cartoon. Tha s ha e re doing. A car oon. Yo keep r ing o rn i
into a Drama.

SUSANNAH
I m no r ing o rn i in o a Drama Q inc I m r ing o crea e a richer sense
of reali and ha s par of ha makes i f nn ; hings are f nnies hen he re
true. (To everyone.) Right?
 81

She gets no playback.

QUINCY
I j s hink, if e re gi ing e er hing mo i a ions, hen here s he po er,
where s he jo . No mo i a ion, no conseq ence, ha s he point of a cartoon.
Where else do we get to experience that, nowhere.

SUSANNAH
I m j s sa ing I hink e ha e a chance o like, o like, engage a he same ime
i h, like larger. are we just entertaining them? We have an opportunity
here o pro ide meaning.

QUINCY
Things aren f nn hen he re rue he re a f l. Meaning is everywhere.
We get Meaning for free, whether we like it or not. Meaningless Entertainment,
on he o her hand, is ac all reall hard. Look if o don like ha e re
trying to do h don o go some here commensurate with your matchless
aesthetic. Go to one of the Dramas. I heard that blonde in E.R., the one on the
Louisville circ i , is pre sick. Ma be he ll ake o in here.

Beat.

GIBSON
Quincy. Jesus Christ.

COLLEEN
(Stand down.)
Susannah.

A moment of eye contact, then Susannah walks

off.

MATT
Babe.

QUINCY
What?

SAM
I think I got it

COLLEEN
Alrigh e re going o keep i mo ing. Gib., can o ge back in here? Under.
 82

Gib.
GIBSON
(After the tiniest moment.)
Yes. Yeah. Right on it.

COLLEEN
Sideshow Bob, everyone. Sideshow Bob, ah, emerging.

SAM
Let me just slide this.
Gibson knocks on it.

COLLEEN
And are the rakes in position?

JENNY
Yup.

The others move backstage.

Gibson gets into position then

with an audible thunk

COLLEEN
Excellent. I heard that.

Sideshow Bob detaches himself from the chassis,

and creeps out from under the car

(accompanied by creepy music)

he stands, he is lit from behind, creepy music,

low thunder from the horizon, a flash of
lightening

he steps forward, raising his hand to shake his

fist

JENNY COLLEEN QUINCY

Wah Wah Wah Wah
Wah Wah Wah Wah
Wa Wa Wa

GIBSON
 83

At last, Bart Simpson, at last! While you and your family cozy yourselves away
in this houseboat; while you play cards, while you drink hot cocoa, I shall be
lurking here, on the river bank, like a crocodile only with much better skin, and
a superlative singing voice and come nightfall --

he steps forward, raising his hand to shake his

fi

(Alas, although he does not see it, he is just

about to step on a rake)

And then is distracted by something at the back

of the auditorium.

Sho s no il omorro gen lemen.

Colleen turns and faces the audience, speaking

to someone at the back of the auditorium.

COLLEEN
(Sharp, an edge.)
Wha s going on here?

GIBSON
I s fine, Colleen, i s fine (Out.) something we can help you with?

Matt has emerged on one side, Jenny and

Quincy on the other.

COLLEEN
(Totally 100% combative.)
If o don ha e an b siness here, hich o do not, I strongly suggest,
gentlemen, that you turn yourselves around

MATT
Colleen/ shut it.

JENNY
Colleen!

COLLEEN
march yourselves back through that door, [and return tomorrow afternoon].

Jenny and Matt have moved forward.

 84

The sound, from the back of the house, of

weapons being taken off safeties

Motherfuckers

She bends down and pulls out a sidearm taped

to her leg (or in some other maybe more
practical way concealed on her person)

Jenny and Matt vault forward, along with

Gibson, to restrain her

GIBSON
I hink o ll find

COLLEEN
Motherfuckers!!!

Gibson clamps his hand over her mouth.

GIBSON
I hink o ll find pre m ch an hing hich o ld be of in eres in he back
of our wagon. Susannah? Susannah?

Susannah has emerged from backstage stands

half on half off

You have the key, right?

SUSANNAH
(Half frozen, half a whisper.)
Yes.

GIBSON
Can you just bring it out?

She turns to go. A shot rings out from the back.

Susannah falls.

Chaos:

Jenny and Matt de-restrain Colleen who reaches

agai f he g , fi e i , i ja ed,
 85

COLLEEN
Shit!
She drops to try to unjam it.

GIBSON
Go go go go go!

Sam appears from the back with a rifle.

Matt ducks backstage

Quincy grabs Colleen to drag her offstage tho

he ill grappling with her gun, Jenny dips
out briefly and re-emerges with a gun.

More shots ring out and Colleen falls

Sam and Jenny aim for the back of the house as

they back into the wings --

VERY ABRUPT BLACKOUT

 86

The Third Act

75 years later.

Ranged across the stage: a chorus of the citizens

of Springfield.

Their faces bear a blurred similarity to faces we

may recall from the tv series: Chief Wiggham,
Mrs. Krebapple, Nelson, Principle Skinner, Apu

Thunder

CHORUS OF THE SHADES OF SPRINGFIELD

Urgent grunt-articulation hum

Articulated as syllables

syllables are now sung

under that another set of urgent syllables (developing into an ambulance ee-aw)

then when that is everything

the civil alert siren

which is everybody, or, most, with something urgent underneath

(meanwhile: choreography sequential, then simultaneous -- )

CHORUS
The call came on the radio

and then the siren blared

And one by one all over Springfield

lights in windows flared

The urgent something is foregrounded, intensifies, changes

CHORUS
 87

The call came on the radio

Chief Piggum grabbed his cap

Apu said use these buckets

APU
There will be no charge for that

CHORUS PLUS APU

And Willy grasped his rake

WILLY
I shook it with a mighty curse

CHORUS PLUS APU & WILLY

Ms Krabappel grabbed her bullhorn,

and Thelma grabbed her purse

Ned Flanders seized his cross

FLANDERS
Because God is always handy

CHORUS PLUS APU & WILLY & FLANDERS

And no ha Ap s back as rned Nelson

ALL
grabbed the candy

NELSON [a half rap]

Yes I grabbed the candy, and I shoved it in my mouth
And I ran towards all the yelling and the crowd was moving south
was surging towards the end of town where flames leapt in the air

ALL
And we all ran over there

We ran towards the sirens blare

CHORUS
The smoke is streaming through the night
 88

ALL
and through the night a glare

TROY MCLURE
(Spoken.)
Good e ening, I m Tro McCl re, o ma kno me.

ALL
We heard a boom was there a bomb

Mayor Quimby raised his hands for calm

Moe passed pitchers of Chablis

CHORUS
And no one shouted flee,

ALL
Yes no one thought to flee

TROY MCLURE
(Half-spoken.)
Good-good-good-good e ening, I m Tro McCl re

ALL
No, no one thought to flee

TROY MCLURE
(Spoken.)
I m here o repor a fire, and an e plosion, a he Springfield Nucyalur [sic]
Power Tower

ALL
(Syllables)
Dum duh duh duh duh duh duh da dum da da da da

TROY MCLURE
(Spoken.)
Wha s ha Cara? I m recei ing a repor from he si e Cara? Cara? Yo re
breaking up, Cara. Ca-ca-ca-ca Cara?

NELSON [a rap]
 89

I said its only a fire the flames were cracking like bones I turned the corner rising
o er o r homes he o er is broke no joke broken, smokin , I can s op lookin
and ca ch a hiff of ha smell ha s no h mans cookin? I said fellahs, ladies,
follo af er me, There s people in here, here s emplo ee e go a --

ALL
Run we gotta run we gotta

CHORUS
Above the smoke there is a moon

ALL
Gotta run we gotta run we gotta

CHORUS
Behind the flame a million stars

NELSON
Fee s don fail me fee s don fail me f h-fuh-f h fee s don fail me

(don fail me fee s!)

ALL
The parking lo here s bodies s re n

CHORUS
Oh feets do not fail me. No no no feets do not fail me. Do not fail me now.

ALL
Survivors struggle to their cars

NELSON
Feets don fail me f h-fee s don fail me f h-fee s don fail me no ! No don
fail me now!

ALL
And e j s can ge here fas eno gh smoke hippin hro gh he air make me
gasp and stuff where the building was is a pillar of light and I hear the screams
in the lit up night and I m s opped in m racks j s like Lo s ife and e re
living the
Vida Loca
 90

Livin La Vida Loca

CHORUS
The core is cracked apart
The contents are released

ALL
The world is broken open
And from it spills a Beast

CHORUS
The wind is filled with hunger

ALL
Our bodies are a feast
O
Our bodies are a feast
Hee-ah Hee-ah Hee-ah Hee-ah

TROY MCLURE (WITH BACKUP)

(Half-spoken.)
You you you you you may know me
You may have known me
Maybe you knew me
No here s no kno ing me

(Something slower paced)

ONE
Krusty gasped and rubbed his eyes

ANOTHER
Principal Skinner dropped his tea

TWO
Sideshow Bob went dashing forward

THREE
That kid Martin yelped with glee

MORE
 91

No one thought to flee

CHORUS
Yes no one knew to flee

MANY
Only one family

MORE
Just one family

CHORUS?
Runs from their history

Runs towards their destiny

ALL
The Simpsons

(rhythm)

The Simpsons

(thoroughly changed opening rhythm)

They sing a slightly eerie and way more

c le a ia f he Si he e g:

Thunder

The curtain parts the stage is the deck of a

houseboat. In the center, the cabin.

The painted backdrop is a distant cousin of the

pull-down map of Terror River from Act 2.

Bart steps forward and sings:

BART
I stand on the deck
 92

I feel the boat sway

Twigs pass on the current

My old life floats away

The first drops of rain

The first hours of night

Our first moments of sorrow

Our first day of flight

HOMER
I m a brand ne man

I s a bold ne da

My family is safe (Family 2 syllable pronon.)

And we re sailing a a

MARGE AND LISA

B e don kno here

We are sailing to

And e don kno ha

We are going to do

HOMER
We ll sail o he hori on

And if we fall off

We ll pick o rsel es p
 93

We ll d s o rsel es off

MARGE
There s a s orm coming,

LISA
I know I know

MARGE
There s a storm coming,

LISA
I know I know

MARGE AND LISA

There s a s orm coming

I knooooooow

I knoooooooow

HOMER
A little rain, never hurt anyone

A little trouble makes us strong

A noisy sky, never hurt anyone

Marge and Lisa, Marge and Lisa ha s rong? Wha s rong?

MARGE
(Spoken.)
Honey, I have a terrible feeling.

LISA
(Spoken.)
I have chills, running up and down my spine.

MARGE and LISA

(Singing.)
 94

If we could only return to Springfield

The night was bright as day

Streetlights shone on every corner

Lamps glowed in each cafe

HOMER
You ladies with your fussing

Everything will be just fine

We ll pla cards and drink hot

cocoa, have a real good time

MARGE
(Singing.)
Cars in the streets

The boom of the feets

From the folk on the boulevard

LISA
Songs in the air

Movies everywhere

And a party in every yard

HOMER & BART

Bosses and schools

All their silly rules

Demotions and detentions

 95

No ha e re free

We re gonna be

Men of our own invention

MARGE and LISA

I e go j s one ish I an to see it all again

HOMER & BART

Why would anyone want to go back there again

MARGE and LISA

For only just one day to see it again

HOMER & BART

I scoff at the thought of going back there again

HOMER
We ll pre end here is no ri er

We ll pre end here is no nigh

We ll drop he shades ignore he s orm

It will be alright

Yes it will be alright

Everything will be alright

They all go inside except for Bart who sings:

BART
The sky has turned a muddy green

The river now is black

The world is filled with lightning

 96

Oh e re ne er going back

I know

From inside:

HOMER
Bart!

BART
Coming Dad.

There is no going back

He goes inside.

Sound of thunder

Sound of rain

Sound of thunder

Sound of lightening.

A hand, grasps the deck

The cast has gathered, not in character, at the

back of the stage.

They create the eerie Cape Fear sound:

CHORUS OF THE CITIZENS OF SPRINGFIELD

Whaaa Whaaaa Whaaaa

Another hand grasps the deck.

 97

The ha d g i he e f a e

and then with a terrifying effort Mr. Burns

(Sam)

hauls himself up onto the deck, inch by inch a

bowie knife is clamped in his teeth

he is drenched

he raises up his fist

thunder

lightening

thunder

CHORUS
whomp whom whomp whomp whomp whomp

Whaaaa- whaaaaa wahhh

whomp whomp whomp whomp whomp whomp

Whaaaa- whaaaaa wahhh

BURNS
A Las , Bar Simpson, Ha Ha Ha, I m Back.

Mr. Burns slams his fist into his open hand

He turns, and enters the houseboat

Maybe we can see lit up (cardboard) silhouettes

in the window.

Marge screams, and screams and screams.

All but two of the singers file backstage

 98

CHORUS

The river rages through the night

The darkness rages toward the sea

The ocean storms and sprays ahead

Inside he laughs and shakes his head

There is no where for them to flee

No here s no place for hem o be

Marge screams again is cut off

BURNS
Itchy!

Scratchy!

To me!

The two remaining chorus members put on a cat

and rat mask/ears/whatever and go backstage

The houseboat façade slides open

Inside is the Simpsons family, bound to chairs,

gagged, and, currently, hooded.

Burns stands among them while his sidekicks

caper.

ITCHY/SCRATCHY/BURNS MEDLEY
 99

ITCHY/SCRATCHY
Yo re a bad one, Mr. Burns
Yo re al a s disin i ed
But you every time returns

ITCHY
A sinister individdle

SCRATCHY
Yes an atomic riddle

ITCHY/SCRATCHY
He looks just like a normal man but
As one swiftly learns

MR. BURNS
(A hoarse rasp.)
I am a man who _____

ITCHY/SCRATCHY
O o re a rick one, Mr B rns
Full of cellular twists and turns

ITCHY
And if you want to factor

SCRATCHY
Time spent in the reactor

ITCHY
The frissionary mystery

SCRATCHY
Of radioactivity

ITCHY/SCRATCHY
It will come as no surprise

BURNS

Tha ha I o ches ..d

 100

ITCHY
Flourishes!

SCRATCHY
Is happy to be touched!

MR. BURNS
And m o ch i

SCRATCHY
Feels like ferns!

MR. BURNS
Yo kno m o ch i

ITCHY
Won spread germs!

MR. BURNS
O es m o ch i .

ITCHY/SCRATCHY
b-b-b-b-b-b-b-

MR. BURNS
.is for ha o earns

He signals I&S to remove the gag from Bart.

Bart Simpson. After so many years.

MR. BURNS
Y e looking as fresh as a daisy;
life has been kind to you, a pity;
the world has so much to teach us, and
i s m responsibili and
yes I will confess it, my pleasure,
to see that you are educated

BART
S cks for o I m s ch a bad s den

BURNS
 101

I feel I can motivate you to learn;

Our first teacher is our loving family

He prepares to do something really awful.

BART
(Bluffing.)
Loving family? Ha! Homer there is
a small time drunk, my sister is the most
annoying nerd on the planet and mom
God lo e her, a go a lo e er b ha
blue hair, endless nagging, good riddance to
hem all, ha s ha I sa , I m better off
i ho hem, i s ime I as m o n man.

BURNS
Yo ll be alone Bar Simpson, soon eno gh.

BART
(Trying to affect a casual air.)
The beef you have is with me Mr. Burns
h don o j s le m famil go no

BURNS
Let them go you say. Let them go where? Out
into the storm? That would hardly be kind.
I slipped the rope as I plunged from the dock:
e re mid s ream no , in he middle of a
raging ri er; if he crocodiles don
eat them the piranhas will and if the
piranhas on he c rrent will dash them
into a thousand pieces on the rocks
no, much better if we remain inside
onigh ; e ll pla cards, and drink hot cocoa.

Bart struggles against his bonds.

Bart busts out singing:

BART
M. B rns o d be er back a a

Yo d be er oss that knife aside

 102

Ca se o re messin i h a Simpson

A man of fury and pride!

Gagged, bound, Homer grunts his approval.

LISA
(Singing.)
Tha s righ o re messing i h The Simpsons!

BART
Cowabunga! Way to bust a gag, Lis!

LISA
Mind over ma er, lil bro. Wa ch and learn.

Abruptly and with total brio they turn their

heads towards Burns and sing with defiant
vigor:

BART & LISA

Tha s righ o re messing i h The Simpsons!

We re a Uni ed Famil

Yes o e pro oked he ra h of Simpsons!

If o e go half a brain o ll flee.

LISA
Yo re gonna go from dreams of glor !

To the gutter and the skids

BART
There s a chance o co lda done i oo

TOGETHER
If i eren for hese darn --
 103

I&S have moved behind them, with one violent

motion, Bart is gagged.

LISA
O!

BURNS
Rebel Simpsons: I e come o er all chills.

LISA
Now you look here, Mr. Burns!

He gags Lisa.

BURNS
A spitfire! Ex-cellent. You have the same
Antic spirit as your loveable scamp
brother I adore a little spitfire.

Just take a look at these wee enchanting

fistacuffs such a fierce determined wadge
of digits why, I could just eat them up.

He gnashes his teeth, delicately, and

threateningly.

Now take a gander at these babies here

appetizing, no? Oh, I see you have
spotted my tattoo: L-O-V-E, love.
I s reass ring, isn i . Oh his
one? Here? H-A-T-E, huh, no
idea how that fellow slipped into the
mix ruf-ruf-ruf ruf-ruf-ruf down boy, down,
not to worry little Lisa I bring
you love, delectable, captivating,
intoxicating love, here, have a taste:

B i ab li hi fi ge de Li a
gag as she murphs in panic.

Homer busts his gag

 104

HOMER
(Singing.)
Just remember Little Lisa
Everything will be alright
Hope will always triumph
Day will always follow night
Everything will be alright
Everything will be al --
B cla H e face. I a ge e hich
h ld ecall Sa Ac 2 c f i g f Gib .

Time stops for a moment.

There is the sound of sizzling flesh.

Homer sinks, dead, to the ground.

BURNS
You heard your dadd , p mpkin , e er (3 syllables on the every)
little thing is gonna be just fine. Now
where was I? Oh ha s righ . I was singing:

Bab , here s no se

He flicks away a tear

In bawling
A guy like me
Should wear a warning
I m dangero s
Yo re fallin

ITCHY & SCRATCHY

(No o ll die
Make no sound
Feel your cells
Spinning ro nd and ro nd)

BURNS
Do you feel me now
 105

Over the course of this next verse he slowly slips

his thumb into her mouth.

With one touch to your lips

I s homicide
(He s o ic o re slipping nder)
Just one taste of my poison paradise
O you love what I do
Tho i s so er o ic

The interior closes up, concealing the cabin of

the houseboat and all that goes on within.

ITCHY
When love first falls upon his knee

His mother heals him with a kiss

And this is how love comes to know

Hurt is succeeded by bliss

SCRATCHY
But hate knows every single wound

Leaves a scar that lasts forever

Hate knows every story ends

On a dark and raging river

CHORUS
And now the sky is filled with stars

The moon floats high the moon floats high

You cannot see it for the storm

The stars and moon are safe and warm

the birds are shaken from the trees

 106

their nests are torn and blown away

they try to rise they try to fly

the wind fills in their wings they die

Wings ripped apart by wind they die

Bart screams.

The door opens, and Mr. Burns, spattered with

bl d, he Ba he deck. Ba
hands are bound in front of him, and his feet are
hobbled, Burns has the knife/sword at his throat

Bart moves slowly, and painfully.

BURNS
S ead , don e en hink of r ing o j mp
the crocodiles and piranhas will have
to wait, just until I e finished with you

Thunder, lightening, thunder

Now take a good last look at all of it.

Have you seen everything there is to see?

Then o ll an o make o r final goodb es

Thunder, lightening, thunder

Bart sings.

This song recalls the high point of the second act

medley.

As he sings, a chorus files on stage, made up of

his beloved family members, now shades, who
assist in the back up vocals and harmonizing.
 107

BART

Oh I stand on the deck

I don feel he boa s a
M hear s alread gone m
So l s alread slipped a a

I m on he erge of la ghing
And ma be I m a fool
B I m going o lea e his life
So lightly
Yes I m going to keep my cool

This is the moment

When I say
Goodbye

To everything
I s he end of e er hing
The last door closed
With a final slam
I m all alone
I m finall free
This world means nothing
Nothing
to me

The moment
When we say
Goodbye

The whole world and I

The whole world and I

And I keep my cool

And I do not cry

The woods are ablaze

lightening cracks in the sky
smoke full of ashes and
 108

thunder on high,

And I m e ith the rain

And I m drenched i h m ears
I e been ali e for
What seems like a thousand years

This is the moment to say goodbye

This is my final lullabye
Everyone I love is gone
And I ll ha e joined hem, b he da n
Yes I ll ha e anished, b he da n

If a musicality has been happening (humming,

crooning etc.) it ceases abruptly when Burns
speaks.

BURNS
Wonderful! I love a poignant warble.
You may think me soft; it is a foible.

Though few lads for poise and grace can match you
The time has come to cheerfully dispatch you

BART
(Simple.)
Do you want me to kneel? Or stand. Or sit.

BURNS
Now is this the famous Simpsons Spirit?
Your savage temper how I fear it! Boys:

At a snap from Burns I&S lay down a rhythm

Although you might refuse to believe that a gentleman with my feminine

propensities my sweet sweet temper my love of babies amenities candies is
gonna mash o r sk ll open slide o r e eballs o of he socke s and g lp em
do n nea I m going o enjo he as e of o r face and o r defeat.

Wants a reaction.

No hin ? Ah ell. Yo re sadl lacking es

I can decide, blo o he neck or ches
 109

BART
Ho e er o an . Le s j s ge i done.

HOMER
(Singing.)
You have to hope when hope is senseless son

BURNS
Cer ain o re ready? No last minute plea?

BART
Bring it. Hit me.

MARGE
And Yo e go o lo e hen lo e is gone

Burns jabs his sword straight at Bart who

instinctively flinches back.

BART
Oh!

BURNS
Bart Simpson: trust you to bungle dying

Bart looks around him in wonder.

BART
Tha asn me B rns; o re j s no r ing.

LISA
You have to carry on

SHADE CHORUS
Carry on
Keep on Keep on Keeping on
Don ask h , onl carr on

Swiftly this time, Burns operates his sword;

again, Bart ducks it.
 110

BART
I slipped, tha s all! I m dying to be dead!

BURNS
You squealed like a pig and you turned your tail and fled

BART
I m going o pro e m self (Shouting at Chorus:) stop the music! (To Burns:) This
momen o o n i be er no le i go o e onl aken one sho
do no miss o r chance don blo his oppor ni o end m life ime

Bart closes his eyes.

Come on Bart get yourself into place face the long goodbye the final sigh
sayonara suckers cold cruel world toodleoo

Opens his eyes.

Burns, snap to it, le s see ha o can do

BURNS
(With a bum bum bum bum varient underneath.)
I m no going o strain o dispa ch o here s no escape ha ch for o his
boa is spinning on a ri er in a orld ha s rong o r famil gone he fores on
fire here s no life o aspire o no air no ear h ha on e pire o and if o
could learn to hope again to conquer dread es ha s righ , Ghos Simpsons,
I m no deaf, I e been perfec l a are of o r off ke m sical ma nderings
from the beginning

BART
Ghost Simpsons?

BURNS
(Continuing.)
i o ldn ma er Li le Bar le o d s ill be j s as dead dead dead!

BART
Mom? Dad?

MAD CHORAL OUTBREAK

 111

HOMER
Nothing protects us nothing holds us nothing leads us on but we tumble ahead
anyway we scrape we bleed e bi e o re going o figh and figh --

Itchy and Scratchy are swept up in the

enthusiasm.

ITCHY & SCRATCHY

Fight and fight and fight and fight and fight!

BURNS
Itchy! Scratchy!

They remember themselves and reassume

Menacing Flunky postures.

SHADE CHORUS
Fight and fight and fight and fight and fight!
Fight and fight and fight and fight and fight!

Burns backs up and holds his sword above his

head as in a fancy fencing maneuver

As in a daze, Bart sings.

BART
There s no one looking af er me
just shadows and their history
here s no hing for me p ahead
he ri er c r es and hen I m dead
b I belie e ha I m going o s ick aro nd
for another second or two
beca se I e ne er done ha I e been old
and B rns o don an me o
I belie e I m going to stick around
For another second or two
I m going o make a li le ro ble
(To the family.)
Gonna cause a hullabaloo!

Bart takes a fighting stance with fists raised

 112

This rouses great enthusiasm in the chorus.

Burns throws back his head and laughs.

BURNS
Oh-ho I m afeared no , es, mighty afeared

Bart has assumed a charging position, prepared

to rush Burns.

Look at him now, just like a little bull

To the tune of Three Little Maids, natch:

SCRATCHY
Nowhere to hide nowhere to run

Itchy & Scratchy supply the orchestral bit

ITCHY
Too bad your life had just begun

Ditto

SCRATCHY
Killing you will be lots of fun

Ditto

BURNS
Now is the time to die

ITCHY & SCRATCHY & BURNS

Now you are going to die

ITCHY & SCRATCHY&BURNS

Now is the time to die contrary
To preferences ordinary
Your death will make us extra merry
Wake p i s iiiiiiiiiiime o die!

BURNS
 113

Toro!

A choral undersong rises.

Bart begins his hopeless charge

Burns readies his sword to receive him.

Everything is now taking place in slo motion.

They both jolt suddenly, then again.

As they jostle about:

BURNS
Rapids!

BART
Rapids!

BURNS
No!

BART
Oh!

BURNS
Nooooooooooooooo!

The sword flies from Mr. Burns hand, and lands

on the deck.

Bart looks at the sword.

Bart looks at Mr. Burns.

Burns looks at him.

The Shade Chorus erupts into encouragement.

Bart surges towards the sword, Burns surges

towards the sword.
 114

As they each move forward in slo motion the

chorus sings a medley of urgent song fragments:

Bart manages to grasp the sword and backs

Burns to the railing.

He holds the sword to his throat.

BURNS
This is no Victory Bart Simpson and
don imagine ha i is o ma ha e
S cceeded b o ha en Tri mphed, no,
Only freakish dumb luck plucked you from me
and if you think God or fate, fortune or
any assortment of sentimental
somesuch rescued you oh my delightful
little charmer, what a savage surprise
is the rest of your life going to be

BART
This is i B rns. Yo re ne er coming back.

BURNS
(Sly, mocking.)
What, never?

BART
No, never!

BURNS
(The same.)
What, never? Kill me now Bart Simpson yes
kill me all o like b don be s rprised
hen o and I mee again I m ne er
lea ing I don go a a I m here for
a hundred years I m here for a ho sand
years a hundred thousand a million I
will be here Bart Simpson for Forever

BART
Yo ll s a a a Fore er!

Bart kills him.

 115

Burns gasps, dies.

A SLOW ELECTRIC DAWN

CHORUS
The clouds have parted for the stars

The re glowing stunning in the sky

The rain has ended and the river

Has subsided flowing softly by

The birds are calling for the dawn

On the horizon is first light

And the warm wind of morning

Will dispel this endless night

The warm wind of the morning

Brings the dawn and dawning light

Bart rises, comes to stand at the railing, and

slowly starts to sing:

BART
And no ha I e los e er hing

Now that everyone I love is gone

All I have left is everything

The river carries me on

The world is filled with everything

I m a bo ho co ld be an hing
 116

And now I will do everything

Everything in this world belongs to me

The whole world unfurls before me

A great adventure lies before me

I m no afraid of an hing

I m reaching o for e er hing

I m calling out to everything

There s no hing I m afraid o see

The world is new and glittery

I run to meet it hopefully

Love never dies in memory

and I will meet life splendidly

The rest of the cast has come out on stage

during the later half of this, there are various
vocal back ups, everyone joins on the last line,

As this is happening a variety of fixtures:

strings of Christmas tree lights, maybe old
theater lights, maybe one of those artificial
candle sconces or plastic electric menorahs, table
lamps, perhaps even a chandelier, or two!, hung
throughout the theater, are clicking on one by
one.

As this happens, the actors turn towards each

light, indicating it with their hands,
encouraging with each new illumination a
greater round of applause.

By the end the stage is a blaze of light

ALL
Yes I will meet my life so splendidly
 117

I will meet life splendidly

Yes splendidly
Tableau

Actors take their bows

As they bow they sing We Are American, to the

e f Gilbe a d S lli a F He I A
Englishman

ALL
For we are American
For though we were not lucky
Still we managed to be plucky
We are American
(Yes we are American)
O our virtues did not save us
And our brains only waylaid us
But though swept from our foundations
Through our steely endurations
(O we remain American
For we remain Ameriiiicaaaaaan!)

Actors turn towards the back of the stage and

gesture

A curtain in the back slips aside to reveal the

actor playing Mr. Burns, powering a treadmill.

The actors lead the audience in applause.

As he runs out of steam the lights slowly dim,

to blackness.

End.
MR BURNS
ACT 2
HECTIC DAY
1 (Ensemble) Friedman/Washburn

Voice 1 & 44 ! Ó.
œ œ œ œ œ
j
œ œ
j Œ
œ œ œ
Not too fast When it's been a hec - tic day the car the

4
Breezy

Voice 2 & 4 Œ œœ Œ œœ Œ œ
œ œœ œœ
Œ Œ œœ Œ œœ Œ œœ Œ œœ
Ba ba ba ba Ba ba ba ba

4
& 4 œ . œj j œ œœ œ Œ j
œ. œ œ.
j
œ œ . œj œ . œj
œ . baœ ba ba ba
Voice 3

Ba ba ba Ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba

Ó. Œ
5

& œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ
rush your cra - zy boss When all you want to say is stop the world

& Œ œœ Œ œœ Œ ˙˙ Œ Œ œ
œ
Œ œ
œ
Œ œ
œ
Œ œ
œ
ba ba Ah Ba ba ba ba

& œ. j j j j
œ œ. œ œ œ œ œ œ. œ œ. œ œ. j
œ œ. œ
j
ba ba ba ba ba Your cra - zy boss ba ba ba ba ba ba ba

j j
& œ ‰ œj œ œ œ Œ Œ Œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ
9

œ œ œ œ
and let me off When all you need is one sweet smil - ing face to see you

& Œ œœ Œ œœ Œ ˙˙ Œ w ww ˙ ˙˙
w ˙
ba ba Ah Ah ah ah ah

& œ. j j œ œ Œ w ˙
œ œ. œ œ w ˙
ba ba ba ba let me off ah ah ah ah

©2012
2 HECTIC DAY

&˙ Œ Œ
14

œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ ˙ œ
through. Brush off your shoes walk through the door your home is here for you Your

˙.
& ww Œ œœ Œ œœ Œ œœ Œ œœ w
œ
œ
w ˙.
ah ba ba ba ba Ooh ooh Your

&w j j j j w ˙. œ
œ. œ œ. œ œ. œ œ. œ
ah Ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba Ooh Ooh Your

19

&˙ ˙ ˙ ˙ w
home is here for you!

& ˙˙ ˙˙ ˙˙ ˙˙ w
w
home is here for you!

&˙ ˙ ˙ ˙ w
home is here for you
 MR BURNS ACT 2 Say Goodbye
ACT 2 Friedman/Washburn

2
&c Œ Œ Œ Œ
œ œ
œ œ œ ˙ œœ œ œ œ œ
Quincy

œ œ
&c ! Œ œ œ œ œ œ Œ
And I park the car But I don't put on the brake And you

œœ œœ œœ œœ œœ œœœ ˙˙ .. œœœ
œœ œœœ
Women

P ˙. œ
&c !
And I'm park - ing the car ooh Whoa oh oh
Men
˙. œ ˙. œ ˙. œ
Bum ba dum ba oh ba

œ œ Œ Ó Œ œ œ œ œ œ
5

&œ œ œ œ
œ œ œ œ œ œ
œ
&œ Œ œ œœ œœ ˙˙ ww œœ œœ œœ œœ ˙˙˙ ˙˙
zip up your jack - et And my fin - gers start to shake I'm on the verge of

œœ œ œœ œ œ ˙ w œ œ œ œ ˙
& Œ Ó
oh your jack - et ah fin - gers start tv shake oh

œ ˙. œ ˙. œ ˙. œ w
dum Bum ba dum by oh ba doh

&œ ˙ œ œ œ œ œ œ Œ Œ Œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œœ
10

&w Œ Œ œœ œœ œœ œœ œœ !
laugh - ing and may - be I'm a fool But I'm going to say good - bye so light - ly yes I

ww ˙˙ œ œ œ œ œ www
˙
& !
Ah ah May - be I'm a fool Ah

w w w œ œ œ œ
doh doh doh ba ba ba ba

©2011
2 Say Goodbye

&œ œ œ œ w Ó
œ œ œ ˙ œ œ #œ œ œ œ œ
15

F
try to keep my cool Yes now I know that I've got to say good - bye

& ˙˙˙ œœœ œœ Œ œœ œœ œœ œœ œœ œœ œœ œœ ww Œ #œ œ œ

œœ œœ œœ
œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ
&œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ
ah ah ah This is the part where we say good - bye To e - very -

œ œ w w
ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba bye ah

&œ œ Ó Œ œ œ ˙ ˙
20

œ œ œ œ ˙ œ œ #˙

& œœ œœ œœ œœ œœ œœ œœ œœ œœ ˙˙ œœ œœ # ˙˙ ˙˙ ww
And I keep my cool and I do not cry

œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ ˙ œ œ ˙ ˙ w

&w
thing we are it's the end of e - very - thing E - very - thing we are

w w w w
ah ah ah ah ah

Œ Œ Œ Œ œ œ
25

& œ œ œ
œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ
œ œ
& ! Œ œ œ œ œ Œ Œ Ó
Now I'm on the high - way and I roll the top down The storm lash - es my

œœ œœ œœ œœ œœœ ˙˙˙ ... œ

œœ œœœ
œ œœ œœœ
& ! Œ Ó
Now I'm on the high - - - way Whoa oh oh oh

˙. œ ˙. œ ˙. œ œ
Bum ba dum ba oh ba dum

&˙
30

œ œ

&w
face as I

ww

&
Ah

w
doh
 Say Goodbye 3

˙ w Ó œ œ œ œ œœ ˙. œ œ
31

&œ œ œ œ ˙
speed through this town
f And I'm wet with the rain and I'm

&˙ Œ ‰j œ œ
œœ œœœ œœ
w Ó
˙˙ œ œ ww œ œ œ œœ œœ œœœ ˙˙˙ ... œœœ œœœ

! !
Ah I speed through this town And I'm wet with the rain and I'm

&w w w ˙. œ
doh ah ah bum ba

&œ œ œ œ Œ Œ Œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ Œ
37

wet with my tears My bo-dy's been shak - ing for what seems like a hun - dred years

&œ œ ! Ó. œœœ œœœ œœœ œœœ œœœ œœœ œœœ œœœ œœœ œœœ œœœ œœœ œœœ
œœ œœ œœ œœ
& ˙. œ œ Œ Ó !
wet with my tears shak - ing for what seems like a hun - dred years so

œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ
dum da dum ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba

&Ó œ œ #œ œ œ œ œ œ Ó Œ œ œ œ
43

œ œ ˙
PAnd I see and I know e - very - thing And it's the

& œœ œœ œœ œœ ww Œ # œœ œœ œœ œœ œœ œœ œœ œœ œœ œœ œœ œœ
œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ
p
time to say good - bye To e - very - thing we are it's the end of e - very -

&œ œ œ œ w w w
w
ba ba ba ba bye ah ah ah

& ˙. œ œ w
48

œ ˙
end of e - - - very - thing

& ˙˙˙ œœœ œœœ ww !

thing E - very -
w
thing

& !
w w
ah ah
 MR BURNS
ACT 3 The Call Came on the Radio
1 COMPANY
(Piano, Tubular Bell Chimes A and E, Glockenspiel, Kick drum)
Friedman/Washburn

2 male & 43 ! ! ! ! .. Û Œ Û Œ Û Œ ..
performers
p Huh
Huh huh

3 ! ! ! ! .. Û Œ Û Œ Û Œ ..
2 female &4
performers
Huh Huh huh

2 female & 43 ! ! ! ! .. Û Œ Û Œ Û Œ ..
performers
p Huh
Huh huh

NEDRA & 43 ! ! ! ! .. Û Œ Û Œ Û Œ ..
p HuhHuh huh

Kick Drum ã 43 ! ! ! ! .. œ œ œ œ œ œ ..
P
& 43 ˙ . ˙. ˙. ˙. .. ˙ . ˙. ..
Tubular Bell
(Chime)

f
(A and E)

PIANO
? 43 ! ! ! ! .. ! ! ..

©2012
 2 The Call Came on the Radio

& .. Û Œ Û Œ Û Œ .. .. Û Œ Û
7

Huh Huh huh Huh Huh

& .. Û Û Û Û Û Û Û Û . Û Û Û Û Û Û Û Û . .. .. Û Û Û Û Û Û Û Û.
7

Ba ba ba ba ba ba ba Ba ba ba ba ba ba ba Ba ba ba ba ba ba ba

& .. Û Û Û Û Û Û Û Û . Û Û Û Û Û Û Û Û . .. .. ‰ Û Û Û Û Û Û Û
J
Ba ba ba ba ba ba ba Ba ba ba ba ba ba ba Na na na na na na na

& .. Û Œ Û Œ Û Œ .. .. Û Œ Û
Huh Huh huh Huh Huh

ã .. œ .. .. œ
7

B. Dr. œ œ œ œ œ œ œ

& .. ˙ . ˙. .. .. !
7

Chime

? .. ! ! .. ..
Piano ˙.
˙.
"
F
 The Call Came on the Radio 3

& Œ Û Œ .. ˙ œ œ ˙˙
10

F
huh Huh Huh huh

& Û Û Û Û Û Û Û Û . ..
10

œ. œ œ œ œ.
œ œ œ œ œ œ œ
F Ba ba ba baœ baœ ba ba Ba ba ba baœ baœ ba ba
Ba ba ba ba ba ba ba

& ‰ Û Û Û Û Û Û Û .. ‰ œj œ œ œ œ ‰ j
œ œœœ œœœ
J F œœ
Na na na na na na na Na na na na na na na Na na na na na na na

& Œ Û Œ .. ˙ ˙
œ œ
huh
F Ee aw ee

.. œ
10

B. Dr. ã œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ

? ..
Piano ˙. ˙. ˙.
˙". ˙. ˙.
 4 The Call Came on the Radio

& ˙ œ œ ˙˙ ˙ œ
13

Huh Huh huh Huh Huh

13

& œ. œ. œ.
œ œœœ œ œ œ œ œœœ œœ œ œ œœœ œ œ œ
Ba ba ba ba ba ba ba Ba ba ba ba ba ba ba Ba ba ba ba ba ba ba

& ‰ œj œ œ œ œ œœ
‰ j
œ œœœ œ œœ
‰ j
œ œœœ œ œœ
Na na na na na na na Na na na na na na na Na na na na na na na

& ˙ œ œ ˙ œ œ œ
aw ee aw Ee aw ee
13 cresc.
B. Dr. ã œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ

?
Piano ˙. ˙. ˙ œ
˙. ˙. ˙ œ
"
 The Call Came on the Radio 5

˙˙ 4 ~~~~~~~ w ~~~~~~~~
& œ
16

4 w ~~~~~ ~~~~ w
f
huh Eh

4
~~ w ~~~~~~~~~
16

& œ. 4 ~ ~~~~
œ œ œ œ œ œba œ ~
~ like a nuclear ~~~ w
wEh~~~(Sound
f air raid siren)
Ba ba ba ba ba ba

& ‰ j 44
œ œ œ œ œ ~ ~~~~ ~~ w ~~~~~~~~
œ œ ~~ like a nuclear ~~~~ w
w ~~~(Sound
f air raid siren)
Na na na na na na na Eh

œ 44
& œ œ ~~~ ~~~~~~ w ~~~~~~~~~~
w ~~~(Sound like a nuclear ~~ w
f air raid siren)
aw ee aw Eh

44
16

B. Dr. ã œ œ œ ! ! !

! 4CHIME
4 w w w
16

Chime &
f
? 44 ! ! !
Piano œ ˙
œ
" ˙

& Œ Œ Œ ‰ j ‰ j ‰ j
20 NEDRA

œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ . œ œ œ œ œ œ œ
P
The call came on the ra - dio And then the si - ren blared and

Œ Ó
20

B. Dr. ã œ œ œ œ œ !

? ‰ ‰ ‰ ‰ j ‰ ‰ ‰ Œ ‰ ‰ j‰ ‰ ‰ Œ ‰ ‰
Piano œ œ œ œ œ œ
œ" œ œ œ œ œ
F
 6 The Call Came on the Radio

‰ j
23

& œ œ œ œ œ œ. ˙ #˙.
œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ
F
one by one all o - ver Spring - field Lights in the win - dows flared The

! ! Œ
23 ENSEMBLE

& # ˙˙ ..
"
˙.
f
Ared.
23

B. Dr. ã ! ! œ œ œ œ

! !
23 CHIME

Chime & w
f
? j ‰ Œ Ó ! !
Piano œ
"œ

& œ œ œ œ œ œ. ‰ j œ œ œ ‰ j Œ
26

œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ
call came on the ra - dio Chief Pig - gum grabbed his cap A - pu said use these buck - ets
APU

! ! Ó Œ Û Û
26

&
there will

? j ‰ Œ Ó j j
Piano œ œ ‰ Œ Ó œ ‰ Œ Ó
œ" œ œ
P
 The Call Came on the Radio 7
WOMEN

&Ó Œ ‰ j j‰ Œ Ó Œ ‰
29

œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ
F
And Wil - ly grabbed his rake Ms. Krab -

&Û Û Û Û Û Œ Ó ‰ Û Û Û Û Û Û Û Û Œ
29 WILLY

be no charge for that I shook it with a might - y curse.

? ! j
Piano œ ‰ Œ Ó !
œ"

j j œ œ œ œ œ ‰ œj œœœ œœœ œœœ œœœ œœœ Œ

32

& œ œ œ
œ œ œ œ œœ œœ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ
Œ ‰ œj œ œ œ œ œ ‰ œj
ap - pel grabbed her bull - horn and Thel - ma grabbed her purse Ned Flan - ders seized his cross

& Œ Œ œ œ œ œ œ Û Û
32 MEN FLANDERS

and Thel - ma grabbed her purse Ned Flan - ders seized his cross be - cause

? j‰ Œ Ó ! !
Piano œ
œ
"

‰ j
NEDRA

&Ó Œ œ œ œŒ
35

œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ #œ œ œ
f
and now that A - pu's back was turned Nel - son grabbed the can - dy

&Û ÛÛ Û Û Û ‰ ! Ó Œ Û Û
35 NELSON

J
God is al - ways han - dy Yes I

! !
35

Chime & w

Piano
? ! ! !
 8 The Call Came on the Radio
ALL (but Nelson)

Œ Œ
38

&
œ
Huh
œ
huh

& Û Û Û Û Û Û Û Û Û Û Û Û Û
38

grabbed the can - dy and shoved it in my mouth and I

Œ Œ
38

B. Dr. ã œ œ

? j ‰ Œ j ‰ Œ
Piano œ œ
œ" œ

Œ Œ Œ Œ
39

&
œ
Huh
œ
huh
œ
Huh
œ
huh

& Û Û Û Û Û Û Û Û Û Û Û Û Û Û Û Û Û Û Û Û Û Û
39

ran towards all the yell - ing and the crowd was mov - ing south was surg - ing towards the end of town where

Œ Œ Œ Œ
39

B. Dr. ã œ œ œ œ

? j ‰ Œ j ‰ Œ j j
Piano œ œ œ ‰ Œ œ ‰ Œ
œ" œ œ" œ
 f
The Call Came on the Radio 9
WOMEN

& Ó Œ œœ œœ œœ œœ ‰ j
NEDRA

œ œ œœ œœ œœ œœ œœ œœ œœ œœ
41

œ
And we all ran o - ver there We ran towards the si - rens blare
P
The

œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ Œ
& Û Û Û Û Û
41 MEN

flames lept in the air f

Œ Œ
41

B. Dr. ã œ œ ! !

? j ‰ Œ j
Piano œ œ ‰ Œ ! !
œ" œ
Œ
44

& œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ
smoke is
œ
stream - ing through the night and
œ
through the
œ œa glare.
night
œ
?
Piano w w
w" w
 10 The Call Came on the Radio
TROY MCLURE:
rit. WOMEN
"Good evening, I'm Troy McClure, you may know me--"

& Û Û Û Û Û Û Û Û. Œ Û Û Û Û Û Û Û ‰ œj œœ œœ œœ # œœ œ œ ‰ j
46 ALL

œ œœ œ
p
Ba ba ba ba ba ba ba Ba ba ba ba ba ba
MEN f p F
We heard a boom was there a bombMayor

! Œ Œ Œ ‰J œ œ œ œ # œ œ œ œ‰ œ
46

& J
We heard a boom was there a bomb?
Mayor
46 SLIGHTLY

ã ! œ œ œœœœ !
SLOWER
B. Dr.

rit.

Œ ! œ œœ
46

Glocken- & œ œ œ œ œ
spiel œ
?
SLIGHTLY

! ! !
SLOWER
Piano

NEDRA

& œœ œœ œœ œ œ œ œj ‰ œœ œœ œœ œœ œœ œœ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ ‰ œj
49 WOMEN

j‰ œ
Quim - by raised his hands for calm Moe passed pitch - ers of Cha - blis and no one shou - ted flee Yes

œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ ‰ Œ Œ Œ ‰œ
49

& J J
Quim - by raised his hands for calm Moe passed pitch - ers of Cha - blis Yes

œ œ œ œ œ œ !
49

Glocken- & œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ
spiel

Piano
? ! ! !
 TROY:The Call Came on the Radio 11
Good-good-good-good
Nedra

Œ Œ Œ Œ ‰ œj œ Œ
52 evening, I'm Troy McClure.

& # œœ œœ œœ œœ œœ œ œ œ œ
no one thought to flea No no one thought to flee

& œ œ œ œ œ Œ ! !
52 rit.

no one shou - ted flee

52

B. Dr. ã ! œ œ œ œ !
CHIME

& ΠΠΠ!
52
(Tubular Bell)
Chime œ w
! !
52

& œ œ œ œ ˙
Glocken-
spiel

? ! ! Œ Œ Œ
Piano œ
œ
TROY:
"
TROY: Reports from the site confirm that enigmatic
"I'm here to report a fire, Power Plant owner, Montgomery Burns, is
and an explosion, at the inside the building--What's that Cara? I'm
Springfield Nucyalur receiving
rit. a report from the site...Cara? Cara?
U U
Power Tower"

2
ALL (at pitch) You're breaking up, Cara. Ca-ca-ca-ca Cara?"

! Œ Ó
55

& œ œ. œ œ 4
œ. œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ
U
NELSON

! ! Ó Œ # Û Û Û 42
55 Dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum

&
U I said it's

! ! ‰. r 42
55

Chime & œ ˙.
U
CHIME

? ! 42
Piano ˙. œ œ w
. œœ w
.̇ CUE: "
"Nucyalar
Power Tower"
GO
 12 The Call Came on the Radio

ALL (at pitch)

& 42 Œ
58

œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ. œ œ œ œ œ œ

& 42 Û Û Û Û Û Û Û Û Û Û Û Û Û Û Û Û Û Û. Û Û.
58 uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh

F
on - ly a fire the flames were crack ing like bones I turned the cor - ner ris - ing

2 œ
58

B. Dr. ã 4 œ œ œ œ œ

?2 j ‰ j ‰ j ‰ Œ j j
œ ‰ œ ‰
TEMPO
Piano 4 œ œ œ
œ œ œ œ œ
"
F

Œ Œ
61

&
œ uhœ . œ
uh
œ uhœ uhœ
uh
œ œuh œ uhœ .
uh

& Û Û Û Û Û Û Û Û Û Û Û Œ Û Û Û Û Û
61

o - ver our homes the tower is broke no joke bro - ken smo - kin' I
61

B. Dr. ã œ œ œ œ œ œ

? j ‰ Œ j ‰ j ‰ j ‰ Œ
Piano œ œ œ œ
œ œ œ œ
"
 The Call Came on the Radio 13
Π! !
64

&
œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ.
uh uh uh uh uh uh uh

& Û Û Û Û Û Û Û Û Û Û Û Û Û Û Û Û. Û Û Û Û Û Û. Û Û.
64

can't stop look - in' and take a whiff of that smell that's not hu - mans cook - in' I said fel - las la - dies

Œ
64

B. Dr. ã œ œ œ œ œ œ œ

? j ‰ j ‰ j ‰ Œ j ‰ j ‰ j ‰Œ
Piano œ œ œ œ œ œ
"œ œ œ œ œ œ
Π!
68 ALL (at pitch)

&
œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ. œ œ œœ œ œ œœ
f
uh uh uh uh uh uh uh Run we got - ta run we got - ta

& Û Û ÛÛ Û Û Û Û ÛÛ Û Û Û Û Û ÛÛ ÛÛ
68

œ œ œœ œ œ œœ
fol - low af - ter me there's peo- ple in there, there's em -ploy -ee We got - ta Run we got - ta run we got - ta
68

B. Dr. ã ! ! ! œ œ œ œ

? ! ! !
Piano œ œ œ œ
œ" œ œ œ
NEDRA ALL (at pitch)
f NEDRA and

& ‰ œj œ œ œ œ œœ œ ‰ ‰ œj œ œ
72 lyrical WOMEN

œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ
f
A - bove the smoke there is a moon Got - ta run we got - ta run we got - ta Be - hind the

ã œJ ‰ Œ œ ‰ Œ
72

B. Dr. ! œœœœ
J !

? j‰ Œ ! j ‰ Œ !
Piano œ œœœœ œ
œ œœœœ œ
"
 14 The Call Came on the Radio

Û Û ÛÛÛ Û Û Û Û ÛÛ# #Û Û Û Û Û
ALL

& œ œ œ œ ˙˙
77

f
flame a mill - ion stars Feets don't fai - l me Feets don't fai - l me Fuh fuh fuh feets don't

œœœœ œ ‰ Œ œ ‰ Œ ‰ Œ
77

B. Dr. ã ! J J
œ
J

? ! j j j
Piano œœœœ œ ‰ Œ œ ‰ Œ œ ‰ Œ
œ"œ œ œ œ œ œ
NEDRA and

3 2
& Û Û Û ‰ Û Û Û Û Û ‰ œj œ œ œ œ
ALL (at pitch)

4 œ œ œœ ..
82 WOMEN

j4 œ
J œ œ œ œ
f
fai - l me don't fai - l me feets!The park - ing lot there's bo - dies strewn Oh feets do not fail

3 Œ œ œ œ œ 42 œ ‰ Œ
ã œJ ‰ Œ œ ‰ Œ
82

B. Dr.
J ! 4 J

? j ‰Œ j 3 2 j
Piano œ œ ‰ Œ ! 4 Œ œœœœ 4 œ ‰ Œ
œ œ œœœœ œ
"
NEDRA and

& œ # ‰ j ‰ j
87 WOMEN

œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ
œ œ œ œ œ œ œ
me No no no feets do not fail
œ œ œ œ
me do not fail me now Sur - vi - vors stru - ggle to their

œ ‰ Œ œ ‰ Œ
87

B. Dr. ã ! J ! J ! !

? ! j j
Piano œ ‰ Œ ! œ ‰ Œ ! !
œ" œ
 The Call Came on the Radio 15
ALL

& ˙˙ Û Û Û Û Û Û Û Û Û Û Û Û Û Û Û Û Û Û ‰Û Û Û Û Û Û
93

f
cars Feets don't fai -l me fuh feets don't fai -l me fuh - feets don't fai -l me now No don't fai -l me now!

ã œ œ œ œ œJ ‰ Œ œ ‰ Œ œ ‰ Œ
93

B. Dr.
J J !

? j j j
Piano œœœœ œ ‰ Œ œ ‰ Œ œ ‰ Œ !
œ"œ œ œ œ œ œ

44
ALL (at pitch)

&Œ
98

œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ
f 44 œ
And we just can't get there fast e - nough Smoke

‰ Œ ‰ Œ
98

B. Dr. ã ! J
œ
J

? ! 44 j ‰ Œ j ‰ Œ
Piano œ œ
œ" œ
100
f
&
œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œœœ œ œœ œœœ
‰ Œ œ ‰ Œ œ ‰ Œ ‰ Œ
100 whip - pin through the air make me gasp and stuff where the buil - ding was is a pil - lar of light an I

B. Dr. ã œJ J J
œ
J

? j ‰ Œ j j j
Piano œ œ ‰ Œ œ ‰ Œ œ ‰ Œ
œ œ œ œ
"
 16 The Call Came on the Radio

Œ
102 SLIGHTLY SLOWER

&
œ œ œ œ œ œœœ œœ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œœ œ œ œ œœ œœœ
F
102 hear the screams in the lit up night and I'm stop in my tracks just like Lot's wife and we're li- vin la Vi-da lo-ca

B. Dr. ã œJ ‰ Œ œ ‰ Œ
J
œ ‰ Œ
J
œ ‰ Œ
J !

? j‰ Œ j j j
Piano œ œ ‰ Œ œ ‰ Œ œ ‰ Œ !
œ" œ œ œ
ALL (at pitch)

‰ j ‰ j
105 NEDRA

& œ œ œ œ œœ œ œ ‰
œœ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ
li - vin la Vi - da lo - ca The core has cracked a - part
œthe con - tents are re - leased
œ
The

Œ Ó Œ Ó
105

ã ! œ œ
SLOWER
B. Dr.

P
? ! !
Piano w
w"

‰ j
108

&
œ œ œ œ œ œ ‰ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ ‰
œ
world is bro - ken o - pen and from it spills a beast The wind is filled with hun ger Our

Œ Ó Œ Ó Œ Ó
108

B. Dr. ã œ œ œ

? !
Piano w w
w w
"
 The Call Came on the Radio 17
TROY
NEDRA and You you you you you may know me

Œ ˙˙
111

&
ANOTHER PERFORMER

˙
œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œœ œœ œœ œœ œœ ˙
bo - dies are a feast O our bo - dies are a feast Hee OTHERS ah

! ! ‰ ‰
111

&
(at pitch)

œ œ œ
Re - mem - ber
œ œ œ
Re - mem - ber

Œ Ó
111

B. Dr. 㠜 ! !
˙˙ ˙˙
! !
111

Glocken- &
spiel

Piano
? ! ! !
TROY and
ANOTHER TROY and ALL (together, very slowly)
You may have known me TWO OTHERS Now there's no knowing me

& ˙˙ ˙˙ !
114 Maybe you knew me

˙˙ ˙˙
hee ah hee ah

& ‰ ‰ ‰ ‰ !
114

œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ U
Re - mem - ber Re - mem - ber Re - mem - ber Re - mem - ber

! ! w
114

Chime &
˙ ˙ ˙ ˙
& ˙ ˙ ˙ ˙ !
114

Glocken-
spiel

Piano
? ! ! !
 18 The Call Came on the Radio
NEDRA
Hymn-like

6
& œ œ œ œ œ œ œ 4 œ œ œ œ œ Œ Œ
117

œ œ œ
Krus - ty gasped and rubbed his eyes Prin - ci - pal Skin - ner dropped his tea

6
117 SLOW

! 4 Œ Œ Œ ‰ j Œ
ALL (at pitch)

&
œ œ œ
6 ˙˙
Re - mem - ber

˙˙ ˙˙ Œ Œ
& ˙˙
117

Glocken- 4
spiel

? 6
SLOW

Piano ! 4 !

& œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œŒ Œ 44 œ œ !
119

œ œ œ œ #œ

44
Side - show Bob went dash ing for ward That kid Mar - tin yelped with glee

& Ó Ó ‰ j ! !
119

œ œ œ
Re - mem - ber CHIME

! 44 ! w
119 (Tubular Bell)

Chime &
f
˙˙ ˙˙ 4 ww
ΠΠ!
119

Glocken- & 4
spiel

? ! 44 !
Piano w
w"
 The Call Came on the Radio 19
Nedra NEDRA and

‰ j
122

&
WOMEN

œ œ œœ œ œ œ œœ œ
œNo one
œ thought
œ toœ flee
œ yesœ noœ one
œ knew
œ toœ flee
œ onœ - lyœ one
œ faœ - miœ - lyœ just
œ one
œ faœ - miœ - lyœ Runs
! ! ! Œ Œ Œ œ
122 MEN

&

? !
Piano w w w
w" w w

j œ œœ œœ œœ œœ Œ
œ œ œ œ œ ‰ œ
œ œœ Ó
126

& œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œœ # ˙˙ # ˙˙
cresc.
˙
j
126 from their his - to - ry Runs towards their des - ti - ny The Simp - sons

& œ œ œ œ œ ‰ œ œ œ œ œœ Œ ˙ ˙ ˙ Ó
cresc. ƒ
œ Œ œ Œ œ Œ œ Œ
126

B. Dr. ã ! !

! ! w !
126 CHIME

Chime &
ƒ
?
Piano w w ˙ ˙ ˙ ˙
w w ˙ ˙ ˙ ˙
"
 20 The Call Came on the Radio

Ó Ó Ó
130

& ˙˙ # œœ # œœœ # ˙˙
˙ # ˙˙ ˙ #˙ ˙ œ #œ #˙ ˙
F
& ˙ ˙ ˙ Ó ˙ ˙ Ó œ œ ˙ ˙ Ó œ #œ
130 The Simp - sons Da da da da da da da da dum dum

#˙ ˙

ã œ Œ œ Œ œ Œ œ Œ œ Œ œ Œ œŒœ Œ œŒ œŒ œŒœ Œ œŒ œŒ
130

B. Dr.

& w ! ! ! ! ! !
130

Chime

?
Piano ˙ ˙ ˙ ˙ ˙ ˙ ˙ ˙ ˙ ˙ ˙ ˙ ˙ ˙
˙" ˙ ˙ ˙ ˙ ˙ ˙ ˙ ˙ ˙ ˙ ˙ ˙ ˙
F
& Ó !
137

œ œ #˙ ˙˙ ˙˙ # ˙˙
# ˙˙ œœ œœ
P Ah ah
& Ó !
ah ah ah ah ah ah ah

œ œ ˙ ˙
137

#˙ ˙ ˙ #œ œ

ã œ Œ œ Œ œ Œ œ Œ œ Œ œ Œ œ Œ œ Œ Œ œ Œ
137

B. Dr. œ

?
Piano ˙ ˙ ˙ ˙ ˙ ˙ ˙ ˙ œœœœœœœœœœ
˙" ˙ ˙ ˙ ˙ ˙ ˙ ˙ œœœœœœœœœœ
P f
 NEDRA The Call Came on the Radio 21
and OTHERS

& # œœ œœ œœ œœ œœ œœ œœ œœ # œœ œœ œœ œœ œœ œœ œœ œœ œ œ # œœ œœ œœ œœ ‰ œ œœ
142 (as available)

œ œ œ œ œ baœ baœ baœ baœ baœ baœ baœ baœ baœ baœ baœ baœ baœœ baœ baœ baœ baœ baœ baœ baœ
Ba ba ba ba

& # œœ œœ œœ œœ œœ œœ œœ œœ # œœ œœ œœ œœ œœ œœ œœ œœ œ œ # œœ œœ œœ œœ ‰ œ œœ
142

œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œœ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ
Piano

?
Piano œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ
œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ
"
f
Œ ‰ œœ # œœ Œ ‰ ww
145

& # œœ œ nœ
œ œœ œœ œ daœ œ œœ œœ w
ba da da da da da da da!

Œ Œ Œ Œ
145

& # œœ œœ œ # œœ œœ # œœ œœ œ # œœ œœ
3 3 3

œ œ œ œ # œœ œœ œœ œœ
Piano

?
Piano œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ ˙ ˙
œ" œ œ œ œ œ œ œ ˙ ˙
ATTACCA
 MR BURNS
ACT 3
I Stand on the Deck
2 BART, HOMER, LISA, MARGE Friedman/Washburn
SLOW,
(Piano, Glockenspiel, Accordion, Guitar)

### 4 Ó .
Freely BART

& 4 ‰ j
œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ #œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ
Voice

P I stand on the deck I feel the boat sway

# ˙ Twigs pass on the curr-ent my old
### 4 ! ! Ó !
Glockenspiel & 4

? ### 4 !
Piano 4 w w w
w w w
HOLD PEDAL HOLD PEDAL
5
### ‰ j ‰ j
& œ œ œ bœ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ #œ œ nœ
b˙ #˙
### Ó
life floats a - way The first drops of rain the first hours of night Our first

! Ó
5

Glk. &

? ###
5

Piano w w w
w w w
HOLD PEDAL

©2012
 2 I Stand on the Deck
Briskly,

### j
HOMER in tempo

j œ
œ œ bœ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ
8 A D

& œ œ œ œ œ œ
### b˙
mo - ments of sor - row our first day of flight. I'm a brand new man it's a bold new day my

! Ó ! !
8

Glk. &
8
### ! ! Û Œ Ó
A
Û Œ Ó
D
Acc. &

? ###
œ Œ Ó Œ Ó
8

Piano w w œ
w w Briskly,
HOLD PEDAL in tempo

Slightly
MARGE and slower

# # # Dj j Aœ j j
LISA

œ œ œ œ
12 D E A Am

& œ œ œ œ œ œ œ n œœ œœ œœ œœ œœ

### Û
fa - mily is safe and we're sail - ing a - way But we don't know where we are

Œ Û Œ Û Û Û Œ !
12 D A D E A
Acc. &
12
### ! !
Am
Gtr. & |

? ### ΠΠΠ!
12

Piano
œ œ œ œ œ
 I Stand on the Deck 3

###
HOMER

œ œ œ œ œœ œ œ
15 Em A

& n œœ n œœ œœ œœ œœ œœ œœ œœ œœ œœ œœ œœ n œœ œœ
###
sail - ing to and we don't know what we are go - ing to do We'll sail to the ho - ri - zon and

! ! ! Û Œ Ó
15 A
Acc. &
15
### !
Em
! !
Gtr. & |

? ### ! ! ! Œ Ó
15

Piano œ

# # # Dj j MARGE
nnn A m LISA

œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ
19 E E

& nœ œ ˙ œ œœ
### Û Œ Ó nnn
if we fall off we'll pick our - selves up we'll dust our - selves off There's a storm com - ing I

Û Œ Ó Û Œ Ó !
19 D E E
Acc. &
19
### ! ! ! nnn Am
Gtr. & | |

? ### nnn
Gentle chords

Œ Ó Œ Œ Œ Œ Ó !
19

œ œ œ
Piano

LISA MARGE and

& œj œj Œ j jŒ ˙ œ œœ ˙
23 MARGE A m/G LISA F M7

œ œ œ ˙ œ œ œ œ œ ˙ œ œ
œ œœ
know I know there's a storm com - ing I know I know There's a storm com - ing I know I
23 A m/G F M7
Gtr. & | | | | | | | | | |
 4 I Stand on the Deck
FREELY

œ œ bœ œ
HOMER

& ˙˙
28 C/G F C F

œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œœ œ œ œ œ œ œ
know A lit - tle rain ne - ver hurt a - ny - one a lit - tle trou - ble makes us strong a

!
28 C/G F C7 F
Acc. & | | | |
28 C/G F C7 F
Gtr. & | | | | | |

œ œ œ œ œ œ F M7
œ œ Œ œ œ œ œ G˙ ˙ ˙ w
33 C Am Am G Am

&œ œ œ œ œ
noi - sy sky ne - ver hurt a - ny - one Marge and Li - sa Marge and Li - sa what's wrong what's wrong?
33 C Am F M7 F M7 Am G Am
Acc. &| | | | | | |

! !
33 C Am F M7 F M7
Gtr. &| | | |
MARGE and

& .. ‰ œ œ œ .. œ œ œ
LISA

! Ó
39 C F C

œ œ œ ˙ œ œ œ œ œ

ww # ww .. ww ww ww
If we could on - ly re - turn to Spring - field the night was bright as

.
& .
39

Glk.

HOMER

Œ œ
44 F Am Em Am Em

& ˙ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ ˙ œ œ œ œ œ ˙
ww ww ww ww ww
day Street - lights shone on e very cor ner lamps glowed in each ca - fe You
44

Glk. &
 I Stand on the Deck 5

&œ œ œ œ œ ˙ œ œ œ œ œ œ ˙ Œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ
49 G

la-dies with your fuss - ing e - very - thing will be just fine We'll play cards and drink hot co - coa have a

&Û Œ Ó ! Û Œ Ó ! Û Œ Ó Û Œ Ó
49 G7 G7 G7
Acc.

?
œ Œ Ó ! œ Œ Ó ! œ Œ Ó œ Œ Ó
49

Piano

MARGE

Ó ‰ j
55 G7 C

&˙ ˙ ˙ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ
œ œ
real good time Cars in the streets the boom of the feets from the folk on the boul - e -

! ! !
55 G7
Acc. &| |

‰ jŒ ‰ j Œ ‰ jŒ
55 G7
Gtr. &| | | | œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ
? ! ! ! !
55

Piano
w
LISA

Ó Œ Ó
60 Am F

& ˙ œ œ œœ œ œœ œ œ œœ œ œœ œ œ ˙
vard Songs in the air Mo- vies e - very -where and a par - ty in e - very yard

& œ ‰ œj Œ œ ‰ jŒ ‰ j Œ ‰ jŒ ‰ jŒ
60

œ œ œ œ œ œ
Gtr.
œ œ œ œ œ œ
 6 HOMER and I Stand on the Deck
BART

œ Œ œ œ œ œ œ ‰ œj œ œ œ œ œ œ Ó Œ
65

& œ
œ œ œ œ œ œ
Bos - ses and schools All their sil - ly rulesDe - mo - tions and de - ten - tions Now that we're free
65 C Am
Acc. & | | | | |

‰ jŒ ‰ jŒ ‰ jŒ ‰ jŒ ‰ j Œ
65

&
œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ
Gtr.

MARGE and HOMER and

‰ œj œ œ œ œ œ œ œ
LISA

œŒ
70 G BART

& œ œ œ œœœ œ œ œ
œ œ œ œ œ œ œ
We're gon - na be Men of our own in - ven-tion I've got just one wish just to see it all a-gain Why would

! !
70 F
Acc. & | | |

‰ jŒ ‰ jŒ ‰ jŒ ‰ jŒ ‰ jŒ
70

&
œ œ œ œ
Gtr.
œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ
MARGE and HOMER and

& œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œj œ œj œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ
75 LISA BART

a-ny-one want to go backthere a-gain For on-ly just one day to see it a - gain I scoff at thethoughtof go-ing

! !
75 G G
Acc. &| | |

‰ jŒ ‰ jŒ ‰ jŒ ‰ jŒ ‰ j Œ
75

Gtr. &
œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ
 I Stand on the Deck 7
###
HOMER

& œ œ œ œ œ #œ œ œ œœ œ ˙ œ œ œ œ œœ ˙ Œ œ œ œ œ œ
80 E sus A D A D A

###
backthere a-gainWe'llpre - tend there is no ri -ver We'll pre - tend there is no night We'll drop the shades ig-
80 Erit. A D A D A

&| | | | | |
sus

Acc.

80 E sus
Û Û ### A D A D A
Gtr. &| | | | | |

### œ œœœ ˙ Ó
œ ˙ ˙
86 D A D G D

& rit. œ œ œœ ˙ ˙ œ œ œ œ n˙ ˙

###
nore the storm It will be all right yes it will be all right E-very-thing will be all

! ! ! ! !
86 D A
Acc. & | |
86
### D A
!
D M7
!
D G D
Gtr. & | | | | | |
SLOW,

### U
Freely BART

Ó Ó. Œ Œ
93 A

& ˙ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ # œ œ œ œ œ œ œ
bœ
###
right The sky has turned a mud - dy green the ri - ver now is black The

! ! ! Ó #˙ ! bw
93

Glk. &
93
### A
! ! ! ! !
Gtr. & |

? ### U
! ! ! ! !
93

Piano w
w
HOLD PEDAL
 ###
8 I Stand on the Deck RUBATO
99

& œ œ œ œ œ #œ œ œ œ œ œ œ bœ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ
###
world is filled with light - ning Oh we're ne - ver go - in back I fear There is no go - ing

! Ó #˙ ! bw !
99

Glk. &

? ### ! ! ! !
99

Piano w
w ATTACCA
HOLD PEDAL
 MR BURNS
ACT 3
Theme from Cape Feare
3 NEDRA, ENSEMBLE
(Piano, Tubular Bells)
Friedman/Washburn

& c .. ! .. ˙
˙ b˙ ˙
Nedra

f
Waa waa waa waa

& c .. Œ .. Œ Œ
œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ
Ensemble (off)

F
Wa wa wa wa wa wa Wa wa wa wa wa wa Wa wa wa wa wa wa

Tubular Bells & c .. w .. w !

f
& c .. ! .. ! !
VAMP

? c .. ..
Piano (as needed)

˙. œ ˙. œ ˙. œ
˙. ˙. ˙.
f
Bass Drum ã c .. œ Œ Ó .. œ Œ Ó œ Œ Ó

©2011
 2 Theme from Cape Feare

&˙ w ˙ b˙
4

Nedra
˙ b˙ ˙
waa waa waa waa waa waa

! ! Ó #˙ w
4

Voice
(off)
&
Waa waa

Œ Œ Œ Œ
4

&
œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ
Ens.

Wa wa wa wa wa wa Wa wa wa wa wa wa Wa wa wa wa wa wa Wa wa wa wa wa wa

&w ! ! !
4

T.B.

#˙ w
! ! Ó # # ˙˙ ww
4

&
?
Pno.

˙. œ ˙. œ ˙ .. œ ˙ .. œ
˙. ˙. ˙ ˙

Œ Ó Œ Ó Œ Ó Œ Ó
4

B. Dr. ã œ œ œ œ
 Theme from Cape Feare 3
8

Nedra &w ˙ b˙ w ˙ ˙
waa waa waa waa

˙ #˙ w ˙ ˙ w
8

Voice
(off)
&
waa waa waa waa

Œ Œ Œ Œ
8

&
œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ
Ens.

˙ bw
Wa wa wa wa wa wa Wa wa wa wa wa wa Wa wa wa wa wa wa Wa wa wa wa wa wa

˙ bw
&Ó # ˙˙ b ww Ó ˙˙ b ww
8

?
Pno.

˙. œ ˙. œ ˙˙ .. œ ˙. œ
˙. ˙. ˙.

Œ Ó Œ Ó Œ Ó Œ Ó
8

B. Dr. ã œ œ œ œ
 4 Theme from Cape Feare

.. Ó Œ ‰ j .. œ œ œ bœ
12

Nedra & #w œ
waa The ri - ver ra - ges

! .. Œ Œ Œ ‰ œJ .. œ œ œ bœ
12

Voice
(off)
&
The ri - ver ra - ges

Œ .. Œ .. Œ
12

&
œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ
Ens.

Wa wa wa wa wa wa Wa wa wa wa wa wa Wa wa wa wa wa wa

! .. ! .. !
12

&
? .. ..
Pno. VAMP

˙. ˙. ˙.
(as needed)

˙. œ ˙. œ ˙. œ

Œ Ó .. œ Œ Ó .. œ Œ Ó
12

B. Dr. 㠜
(cymbal
flourishes with
Burns entrance
ad lib)
 Theme from Cape Feare 5

‰ b œj œ ‰ n œj
15

Nedra &œ œ œ œ œ œ bœ œ œ
through the night the dark - ness ra - ges toward the sea the

œ œ œ ‰ b œJ œ œ œ œ bœ œ œ ‰ nœ
15

Voice
(off)
& J
through the night the dark - ness ra - ges toward the sea the

Œ Œ Œ
15

&
œ œ œ œœœ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ
Ens.

Wa wa wa wawa wa Wa wa wa wa wa wa Wa wa wa wa wa wa

! ! !
15

&
?
Pno.

˙. œ ˙. œ ˙. œ
˙. ˙. ˙.

Œ Ó Œ Ó Œ Ó
15

B. Dr. ã œ œ œ
 6 Theme from Cape Feare

&œ œ œ bœ ‰ b œj œ
18

Nedra œ œ œ œ œ œ
o - cean storms and sprays a - head In - side he laughs and

œ œ œ bœ œ œ œ ‰ b œJ œ œ œ œ
18

Voice
(off)
&
o - cean storms and sprays a - head In - side he laughs and

Œ Œ Œ
18

&
œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ
Ens.

Wa wa wa wa wa wa Wa wa wa wa wa wa Wa wa wa wa wa wa

! ! !
18

&
?
Pno.

˙. œ ˙. œ ˙. œ
˙. ˙. ˙.

Œ Ó Œ Ó Œ Ó
18

B. Dr. ã œ œ œ
 Theme from Cape Feare 7

‰ j
21

& bœ œ œ œ #œ œ œ nœ œ œ œ bœ
Nedra

shakes his head there is no place for them to flee No

j
& bœ œ œ ‰ œ #œ
21

Voice
(off)
œ œ nœ #œ œ œ nœ
shakes his head there is no place for them to flee No

Œ Œ Œ
21

&
œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ
Ens.

Wa wa wa wa wa wa Wa wa wa wa wa wa Wa wa wa wa wa wa

! ! !
21

&
?
Pno.

˙. œ ˙. œ ˙. œ
˙. ˙. ˙.

Œ Ó Œ Ó Œ Ó
21

B. Dr. ã œ œ œ
 8 Theme from Cape Feare

Œ ˙ ˙ w ˙ ˙ #w
24

&
œ œ œ œ œ œ œ
Nedra

P
there's no place for them to be Waa waa waa waa waa waa

Œ ˙ ˙ bw ˙ ˙ bw
24

&
œ œ œ œ œ œ œ
Voice
(off)
there's no place for them to be Waa waa waa waa waa waa

Œ Œ ˙ ˙ w ˙ ˙ w
24

&
œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ
Ens.

Wa wa wa wa wa wa Wa wa wa wa wa wa
P
Waa waa waa waa waa waa

! ! w ! w !
24

T.B. &
P
! ! ! ! ! !
24

&
?
Pno.

˙. ! ! ! !
œ ˙ .. œ
˙. ˙

Œ Ó Œ Ó
24

B. Dr. ã œ œ ! ! ! !
 MR BURNS
ACT 3 You're a Bad One, Mr. Burns
4 (Itchy, Scratchy, Burns)
Toy piano
Friedman/Washburn

b bb 4 ! ! Œ Œ Œ Œ
ITCHY & 4 œ œ œ œ œ œ
b Œ Œ Œ œ œ œ œ Œ œ œ
& b b 44
You're a Bad one Mis - ter

SCRATCHY ! !

TOY PIANO
b
& b b 44 Œ œ n œ n œ œ œœ œ œœ œ œœ œ Œ œ œœ œ œœ

b ‰ œj
&bb ˙ Œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ nœ nœ nœ œ œ œ
5

Itchy

b œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ
&bb ˙ Œ œ œ œ nœ œ œ ‰ œJ
5 Burns You're al - ways dis - in - vi - ted but you e - very time re - turns A

Scratchy

b b œ œœ œœ œœ
b œ œœ n œœ œœ
5

TP & œ œ œ œ

b
&bb œ œ œ œ œ œ œ ‰ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ ‰ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ
8

Itchy

b œœ œ œ œ œ œœ
3

œœœ œ œ‰œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ
si - nis - ter in - di - ci - ddle Yes an a - to - mic rid - dle He looks just like a nor - mal man but

&bb
8

Scratchy œ
3

b œœ œœ
&bb œ œœ œ œœ œ œ œœ œœ
8

TP œ œ

©2012
 2 You're a Bad One, Mr. Burns

bbb
ITCHY TEMPO

œ œ nœ nœ Œ œ œ œ œ œ œ Œ œ œ
11 BURNS SLOW

Itchy & œ œ œ œ œ œ
b Œ œ œ œ œ œ œ Œ œ œ
&bb œ œ œ œ œ Œ
as one swift - ly learns I am a man who O you're a tri - cky one Mis - ter

!
11

Scratchy

U
w œœ œœ
b œ œœ œœ Œ n www
&bb œ ! œ
11

TP œ

ITCHY

b œ œ œ œ œ‰
&bb ˙ Œ œ œ œ œ œ œ nœ n˙ Œ œ
15

Itchy œ œ
b Œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ
&bb ˙ ˙
Burns full of cell - u - lar twists and turns And if you want to fac - tor time

Ó !
15

Scratchy

b œ œ œœ œœ
&bb œ œ œ œ œ œ œœ œ n œœ œ œœ œ œœ
15

TP œ

b Œ.
&bb œ œ œ œ œ œ Œ ! Ó
19

Itchy œ œ
b œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ
‰ J œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ
spent in the re - ac - tor It will

&bb Ó Œ
19

Scratchy

œœ œœ
The fri - ssi - o - ny mys - te - ry of ra - di - o - ac - ti - vi - ty It will

b œ œ œœ œœ œœ œœ
&bb œ œœ Œ
19

TP
œ
 You're a Bad One, Mr. Burns 3
ITCHY: Flourishes!
SCRATCHY: Is

U
happy to be touched! BURNS

bb
BURNS SLOW

& b œ œ œ œ œ œ œ nœ nœ Ó Œ œ œ œ œ Œ œ
22

Itchy œ
b œ œ œ œ œ
come as no sur - prise that what I tou - ches and my touch it You

&bb Π! ! !
22

Scratchy

b n www w
come as no sur - prise

b
& b w ! ! n www
22

TP
SCRATCHY:
Feels like ferns! ALL 3:
ITCHY: B, B, B, B....

b U
Won't spread germs!

&bb œ œ nœ nœ Œ Œ Œ œ nœ nœ !
26 BURNS

Itchy œ œ

bbb
know my touch it... Oh yes my touch it

! ! ! !
26

Scratchy &

b w
&bb ! ! n www !
26

TP
 MR. BURNS
Act 3 Burns and Bart
4a CUE:
(piano and Drum) Michael Friedman
"Is for what you yearns!"
U
& 44 !
˙˙ ˙˙
!
b ww ˙˙ ˙˙
U
Piano
?4 !
VERY Free VERY Free

4
w w w w
w w w w
4
ã 4 w w ! ! !
æ æ
Bass Drum
CUE:
"You'll be alone,

U U U
CUE: Bart Simpson,

! !
6 "Loving family" soon enough,"

& w
bw b ˙˙ ˙˙ b b ww ˙˙ ˙˙ b ww
Pno.
U f VERY Free U
?
w w bw w bw w w
6 w wæ bw w b wæ w w
ã ! ! w w ! w w
fæ æ æ æ
B. Dr.

CUE:
"In the middle of

U
a raging river!"

! ! !
13

& ˙˙ ˙˙ b ww
U
? U U
Pno.
VERY Free

wæ w w w w
13 w w w w wæ
ã ! w w ! !
æ æ
B. Dr.
ATTACCA

©2013
 MR BURNS Messing with the Simpsons
ACT 3 Friedman/Washburn
CUE:

5 "And drink hot

cocoa!"

&c Œ œ œ
BART

œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ
At first very free, M - Burns you bet - ter back a way You'd bet - ter toss that knife a - side
almost spoken.

&Œ Œ Œ œ ‰ œ œj œ Œ œ œ œ
4

œ
LISA

œ œ œ œœ œ œ œ œ œ
Cause you're mes - sin' with a Simp - son A man of fu - ry and pride That's right you're

U j
œ
Tempo, BART and LISA

&œ œ Œ œ œ œ œ Ó Œ ‰ œ œ œ ‰ œ œœ
9

œ œ œ
brisk

œ œ
mess - in' with a Simp - son! That's right you're mess - in' with the Simp - sons We're a u -

œ ‰œœ Œ œ ‰œœ Œ
9

S.Dr. ã ! ! ! J J
! ! ! ! !
9

&

?œ Œ Œ Œ
Pno.

œ Œ Ó ! œ Œ Ó œ Œ Ó
œ œ œ œ

Œ ‰ œ œj œ ‰ œ œ œ
14

&œ œ œ œœ œ œ œ œ œ œ
ni - ted fa - mi - ly Yes you've pro - voked the wrath of Simp - sons If you've got

ã œ ‰ œJ œ Œ œ ‰ œ œ Œ ‰ œ œ Œ
14

S.Dr. ! J
œ
J
! ! ! !
14

&

?œ Œ
Pno.

œ Œ œ Œ Ó œ Œ Ó œ Œ Ó
œ œ œ œ œ
©2011
 2 Messing with the Simpsons

Œ Œ ‰ j j jŒ
18

&œ œ
LISA

œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ
half a brain you'll flee You're gon - na go from dreams of glo - ry to the

ã œ ‰ œJ œ Œ wæ ‰ œ œ Œ ‰ œ œ Œ
18

œ œ
J J
S.Dr.

! ! ! !
18

&

?œ Œ ‰ œj Œ
Pno.

œ Œ œ œ œ œ œ œ ‰ jŒ
œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ
œ œ œ œ œ œ

Œ Œ Œ j œ jŒ 6
22 BART and LISA

& 4
BART

œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ
gut - ter and the skids There's a chance you could - a done it too If it

ã œ ‰ œJ œ Œ œ ‰œ œ Œ ‰ œ œ Œ ‰ œ œ Œ 46
22

œ œ
J J J
S.Dr.

! ! ! ! 6
22

& 4

? j ‰ œj Œ œ 46
Pno.

‰ jŒ œ ‰œ Œ œ œ ‰ jŒ
œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ
œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ
 Messing with the Simpsons 3

& 46 c œ Œ Ó ! ! ! !
26

˙˙ ˙˙ œ
œ œ
weren't for those darn (kids)

6 c
26

ã 4 œ œ ˙ ˙ ! ! ! ! !
(As Burns
S.Dr. removes gloves)

˙
(As Burns

U ˙
removes gloves)

& 46 ! c ! ! ˙
26

˙
# # ˙˙ ˙˙ # ww
? 46 U U U U
Pno.

œ œ ˙ ˙ c
œ œ ˙ ˙ # wæ # wæ # wæ w w
#ƒw #ƒw #ƒw w w
P
b˙ ˙ !
32

& b˙ ˙
? U U
Pno.

w w
w w
ATTACCA

P
 MR. BURNS
Everything Will Be Alright
Act 3
(Homer) Friedman/Washburn
5a Piano, Accordion, Guitar, Gong
HOMER & 44 Ó . œ œ œ œ œ œ œ ˙ œ œ œ œ œ œ ˙
Ó
Just re - mem - ber lit - tle Li - sa e - very - thing will be all right

4 !
&4 | | | |
C F C F
Accordion

4 !
&4 | | | |
C F C F
Guitar

& 44 ! ! ! ! !

? 44 U
Piano

! ! ! !
w
wæ
œ ˙ Œ œ œ œ
6

& œ œ œ œ œ ˙ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ
Love will al - ways tri - umph day will al - ways fol - low night e - very - thing will be all
6

& | | | | |
Am Em Am Em Dm
Acc.

& | | | | |
Am Em Am Em Dm
Gtr.

©2012
 2
ƒ
Everything Will Be Alright

œ œ ˙ Œ œ œ œ ! ! !
11

& œ
right e - very - thing will be all

! !
11

&| | |
Em Dm GONG
Acc.
Cymbal rolls
ad lib

! ! !
11

&| |
Em Dm
Gtr.

U
! ! !
11

&
# # ˙˙ ˙˙ # ww
U U
Pno.
? ! !
#w #w #w
# wæ # wæ # wæ
 MR BURNS
ACT 3
TOXIC
6 (Mr. Burns, Itchy, Scratchy)
Glockenspiel, Handbells, Snare drum
b b b 4 .. ! ! .. Œ
BURNS & 4 œ œ œ œ œ
p
VERY

bœ œ œ œ
Ba - by there's no use

b 4 ‰ œj
& b b 4 .. œ œ œ .. Œ Œ
SLOW

ITCHY Œ Œ Œ

p
La la La la la la la La

b 4 œœœœœ œ
SCRATCHY & b b 4 .. œ œ w .. Œ Œ Œ ‰ œJ

b b 4 .. ww b ww .. ww
La la la la la la la la la La

Glockenspiel b
& 4

b
VERY

& b b 44 .. w .. w
SLOW

w w w
Handbells

b
&bb Œ ‰ j œ Œ ‰ jœ ‰
4

œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ
Burns

In bawl - ing ing A guy like me Should wear a war - ning

b ‰ œj ˙ ‰ œj ˙
Itchy &bb ˙ Œ Œ Œ Œ
la La la La la

b
Scratchy &bb ˙ Œ ‰ œ
J
˙ Œ ‰ œ
J
˙ Œ Œ

b ww ww ww
la La la La la

b
& b
4

Glk.

b b
& b ww
4

HB ww ww

©2012
 2 TOXIC
b
&bb Œ ‰ jœ Œ ‰ j ! !
7

œ œ œ œ nœ œ œ
Burns

œ
I'm dan - ge - rous You're fall - ing

b ‰ œj
Itchy &bb œ œ Œ
œ œ
Ó œ œ nœ Œ œ nœ œ
La la La la la
" Now you'll die Make no sound

b b œ œ Œ ‰œ œ œ Ó œ œ œ Œ œ œ œ Œ
Scratchy & b J
b b ww ww ˙ n˙ ˙ n˙
La la La la la Now you'll die Make no sound

b ˙ ˙ ˙ ˙
7

Glk. &
p
b
&bb w
7

ww
w w w
HB

b
&bb ! ! Œ œ œ œ œ œ !
11

Burns

ITCHY and

œ
Do you feel me now

b
& b b œ œ nœ œ œ œ nœ Œ !
NEDRA (off)

Itchy
œ œœ œœ œœ
feel your cells spin - ning round and round Ah ah ah ah

b
Scratchy &bb œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ Œ ! œ œ œ œ

n˙ ˙ n˙
b b ˙˙ ww œ œœ
feel your cells spin - ning round and round Ah ah ah ah

b ˙ ˙ ˙ œ œ
11

Glk. &

b bb
11

& ww
w w w
HB

11

S.Dr. ã ! ! ! œ œ œœœœ œ œ œ
p 3
 TOXIC 3

b bb Ó Œ œ œ œ œ
œ œ œ œ œ Ó !
15

Burns & œ
P
With one touch to your lips it's ho - mi - cide

b œ Œ œ œ œ
& b b œœ œœ œ
ITCHY
Itchy
œ œ w w
p
ah ah ah ah Ah ah He's to - xic

b
Scratchy &bb œ œ œ œ w w Œ œ œ œ

œœ œ œ
b b œœ ww
ah ah ah ah Ah Ah He's to - xic

b œ œ w
15

Glk. & w ww
p
b
&bb w !
15

HB ww ww
15

S.Dr. ã œ œ œ œ œ œœœœ œ ! ! !
3
 4 TOXIC

b bb Œ Œ Œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ Œ œ œ bœ œ œ œ œ œ
19

Burns &
Just one taste of my poi - son pa - ra - dise You're af - flic - ted by me yes you

b œ œ œ œ
Itchy &bb œ w w w
you're slip - pin un - der Ah ah Ah

b w w w
Scratchy &bb œ œ œ œ œ

b b ww b ww
you're slip - pin un - der Ah ah ah

b w
19

Glk. & w ww

b
& b b ww !
19

HB ww w

b
VERY FREE

& b b bœ ! Œ Œ Œ
23

Burns œ œ œ œ nœ œ œ
know that I'm to xic O you

b
Itchy &bb w Œ
œ œ œ œ ˙.
Œ
ah la la la la la

b b w w ˙. Œ
Scratchy & b

bb b b ww œ
ah Ah Ah

Œ œ œ œ w
23

Glk. &

b
&bb w
23

HB ww ww
 TOXIC 5

b bb ! !
26

Burns & bœ œ œ œ œ œ bœ œ œ œ œ nœ

œ œ
love what I do Tho it's so ve - ry to xic!

bbb ! ! Œ œœ w
26

Glk. &
26

S.Dr. ã w w œ œ œœœœ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ
p 3
ATTACCA
 MR BURNS
ACT 3 Love and Hate/And now the Sky
7 (Itchy, Scratchy, Nedra, offstage voices)
Guitar
Friedman/Washburn

& 44 Œ Œ Œ œ œ œ œ ‰ œj œ œ œ œ
ITCHY

Voice œ œ œ œ
VERY When love first falls u - pon his knee His mo - ther heals him

4
FREE

Voice &4 ! ! ! !
U
4 !
Am C

Guitar &4 | | |

œ Œ ˙
SCRATCHY

& œ œ œ ‰ œj œ œ œ œ œ œ œ Œ #œ œ œ œ œ œ
5

with a kiss And this is how love comes to know Hurt is suc - cee - ded by bliss But

! ! ! ! !
5

&

! ! !
5 Dm E

Gtr. & | |

10
œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œœŒ Ó œ œ œ œ
&
hate knows e - very sin - gle wound leaves a scar that lasts for - e - ver Hate knows e - very -

! ! ! ! !
10

&

& œ œœ œ œœ œ œœ œ œœ œœ œœ
10 F C F C F

œ œœ œ œœ œ œœ œ œœ œ œ
Gtr.

©2012
 2 Love and Hate/And now the Sky

œ œ œ œœ œ œ œ œ
NEDRA

œœŒ Œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ ‰ œj
15 Am

&

œ œ œ ‰ œj
sto - ry ends on a dark and ra - ging ri - ver And now the sky is filled with stars The
Male voice

! ! Ó. œ œ œ œ
15

&
(off)

œ
U
!
15 C Dm E Am

Gtr. & œ œœ œœ | | |
œ

œ œ ‰ œj œ œ œ œ œ œ œ ‰ œj # œ œ œ œ
20 C Dm E

&œ œ œ œ œ

œ œ ‰ œj œ œ œ œ œ œ œ ‰ œJ
moon floats high the moon floats high you can - not see him for the storm the stars and moon are

œ œ œ œ
&œ œ œ œ œ
20

! !
20 C Dm E

Gtr. &| | |
NEDRA and

U
Female voice (off)

œ ‰ j ‰ j
œ œœ œœ œœ œœ œœ œœ
25 Am

& #œ œ œœ œœ

‰ œj
safe and warm The birds are sha - ken from the trees Their

œ œ œ ‰ j œ œ œ œ œ œ
œ
25

& œ
(Marge
screams)

!
25 Am

Gtr. & | |
 Love and Hate/And now the Sky 3

œœ œœ œœ ‰ œœj œœ œœ œœ œ œœ œœ œœ ‰ œj # œœ œœ œœ œœ
28 C Dm E

& œœ œœ œœ œœ
nests are town and blown a - way They try to rise they try to fly The wind fills in their

&œ œ œ œ œ œ œ ‰ œj œ œ œ œ œ œ œ ‰ œJ œ œ œ œ
28

28 C Dm E

Gtr. &| | | | |

U NEDRA

# œœ œœ
33

& # œœ œ œ œ œ œ
wings they die Wings ripped a - part by

œ œ œ Œ !
33

&
(MAGGIE
SCREAMs)

!
33

Gtr. & |

Œ Œ Œ
35

&
˙
wind
˙
they
œ
die
TUBULAR BELL

! Ó ˙
35

&
U
! Ó
35

Gtr. & ˙
˙
f
 MR BURNS
ACT 3
Say Goodbye
8 Bart, Ensemble Friedman/Washburn
VERY FREE, (Guitar)
& 43 Œ
SLOW

j j
œ œ œ œ. œ œ œ œ œ. œ œ œ œ œ
BART
p œ œ œ
Oh I stand on the deck I don't feel the boat sway my heart's al - rea - dy

j j
œ œ œ ˙ œ œ œ œ
7 Am

& œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ
œ. œ.
Bart

œ
gone my soul's al - rea - dy slipped a - way I'm on the verge of laugh - ing and may - be I'm a

! ! ! |. ! !
7 Am
Gtr. &
p

&œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ
13

Bart ˙. œ œ œ
fool but I'm gon - na leave this life so light - ly Yes I'm go - ing to keep my cool This is the

œ ˙. œ œ œ #œ œ œ œ ˙
19 C E F C E F
Bart & œ œ œ œ #˙ œ œ œ œ
mo - ment when I say good - bye To e - very - thing it's the end of e - very - thing The

& ˙. ! # ˙˙ .. ˙˙ Œ
VOICES

˙. ˙. ˙. ˙. ˙
"
Ooh ooh ooh Ooh ooh ooh

& |. |. |. ! |. |. |.
19 C E F C E F
Gtr.

©2012
 2 Say Goodbye

26 Dm Em F

&˙ œ ˙ œ œ œ œ
œ œ œ œfi - nal˙ ˙. œ œ œ
Bart

last door closed with a slam I'm all a - lone I'm fi - nal - ly

!
Women cresc.

& ˙˙ .. ˙˙ ..
˙. ˙. ˙. ˙.
Ooh Ooh Ooh

!
Men

& ˙. ˙. ˙. ˙. ˙. ˙.

! |. ! |. ! |. !
26 Dm Em F
Gtr. &

& œ . œj œ j Œ œ
33 G E C E
Bart
œ œ œ. œ œ œ ˙ œ œ œ œ œ #˙
free this world means no - thing no - thing to me the mo - ment when we say good -

& ˙. ! ˙˙ .. # ˙˙ ..
˙. ˙˙ .. ˙˙ .. ˙.
Ooh Ooh Ooh Ooh

& ˙. ˙. #˙ Œ ! ˙.
˙.

& |. ! |. |. |. |.
33 G E E C E
Gtr.
 Say Goodbye 3
Rubato

& ˙ Œ Œ œ œ œ œ ˙ Œ Œ œ œ
39 F C E F
Bart ˙ œ ˙ œ #œ
p
bye The whole world and I the whole world and I And I

& ˙˙ .. ! ˙˙ .. ˙˙ .. #˙. ˙. !
˙. ˙.
Ooh Ooh Ooh ooh

& ˙. ! ˙. ˙. !
˙. ˙.

& |. ! |. ! |. |. !
39 F C E F
Gtr.

#œ ˙ ˙
46 Am G

&˙ œ œ œ œ
œ œ œ ˙ œ œ œ œ œ
Bart

keep my cool and I do not cry

œ
The woods are a - blaze light - ning cracks in the

& ! ! ! ! !
˙˙ .. ˙˙ ..
F
Ah ah

& ! ! ! ! ! ˙. ˙.

! ! ! ! !
46 Am G
Gtr. & ’’’ ’ ’’
Folk rhythm F
guitar (ad lib)
 4 Say Goodbye

Œ ˙
53 Am Am G Em Am

& œ œ œ œ œ
˙ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ ˙ œ œ
Bart
œ
sky Smoke full of ash - es and thun - der on
f And I'm wet with the rain and I'm
high

& ˙˙ .. ! ˙˙ .. ˙ œœ œœ œœ œœ œ ˙˙ Œ
˙˙ ..
ah ah ah ah and I'm wet with the rain

! ˙ œ œ œ œ œ Œ
& ˙. ˙. ˙. ˙
f
53 Am Am G Em Am
Gtr. & ’’’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’ ’’’ ’ ’ ’ ’’’

j œ ˙.
œ. œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ ˙
60 G Am F Em
Bart & œ œ œ œ œ œ
p
drenched with my tears I've been a - live for what seems like a thou - sand years This is the

& ˙. ! ˙˙ .. ˙˙ .. ˙˙ .. !
˙. ˙˙ ..
Ah ah Ooh Ooh

! ˙. ˙. ˙. !
& ˙. ˙.

’ ’ ’ |. ! |. !
60 G Am F G
Gtr. & ’ ’ ’ ’’ ’
 Say Goodbye 5
œ ˙. œ ˙. Œ œ œ
67 C E C E
Bart & œ œ œ œ #˙ œ œ œ ˙ œ #˙
mo - ment when I say good - bye This is my fi - nal lul - la - by E - very -

& ˙. ˙. ˙. ! ˙. ˙. ˙. !
Ooh Ooh Ooh Ooh Ooh Ooh

& ˙. ˙. ˙. ! ˙. ˙. ˙. !

& |. |. |. ! |. |. |. !
67 C E F C E F
Gtr.

œ ˙. Œ œ œ œ ˙.
75 C E C E
Bart &˙ œ #˙ ˙ œ #˙ œ œ œ
one I love is gone I'll have joined them by the dawn Yes I'll have

& ˙. ˙. ˙. ! ˙. ˙. ˙. !
Ooh ooh ooh Ooh ooh ooh

& ˙. ˙. ˙. ! ˙. ˙. ˙. !

& |. |. |. ! |. |. |. !
75 C E F C E F
Gtr.

œ ˙ Œ
83 C E F
Bart &˙ œ #˙
va - nished by the
U
dawn

& |. |. |.
83 C E F
Gtr.
 MR. BURNS
Act 3 Keep On

8a Company
CUE: Washburn/
"The time has come to cheerfully CUE: Friedman
dispatch you" (piano, gtr, toy piano, drum, "Let's just

& 44 .. Œ "Û Û Û ..
HOMER

! ! ! ! Ó
tubular bell) get this done"

Voice 1

You have to

4 ! ! ! .. œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ ..
Guitar &4
U œœœ
(Itchy and Scratchy

4 ! ˙˙ ˙ w .. ˙˙ ˙ ˙ œ ..
beatboxing ad lib)

&4 ˙ w ˙ ˙
? 44 U ! ! ..Pœ œ œ VAMP ..
Piano

w œœœœœ œœœœœœœ œ
w œœœœœœœœ œœœœœœœ œ
Not too fast
BART:
BURNS: "Bring it.
SIMPSONS "Are you ready? No last minute pleas?" Hit me."

& Û Û Û Û Û Û Û Û Û Û ‰ Û Û Û ‰ Û Û Û ‰ Û Û Û ‰ Û
6

hope when hope is sense - less son re - mem - ber Re - mem - ber re - mem - ber re - mem - ber re -

& œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ
6

Gtr.

˙ ˙ ˙ œ œ œ œ ˙ ˙
& ˙ ˙
6

˙ ˙ ˙
?
Pno.

œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ
œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ

©2012
 2 Keep On

& Û Û‰ Û Û Û Û Û Û Û Û Û Û ÛÛ ‰Û Û Û‰Û Û Û‰Û

9 MARGE SIMPSONS

J
mem - ber re - mem - ber And you have to love when love is gone Re - mem - ber re - mem - ber Re -

& œ œœœ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œœœœœ œ œœœ œ œœœ

9

Gtr.

9
˙ œ œ œ œ ˙˙ ˙ ˙ œ œœœ
& ˙ ˙ ˙
?
Pno.

œ œœœ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œœœœœ œ œœœ œ œœœ

œ œœœ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œœœœœ œ œœœ œ œœœ
LISA SIMPSONS

& Û Û ‰ Û Û Û ‰ Û Û Û Û Û Û ‰ Û Û Û ‰ œ œ. œ œ œ œ œ œ
12

J
mem - ber re - mem - ber You have to car - ry on car - ry on Keep on keep on Keep - ing on

& œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œœ œœ œ œ œ œ œ œ œœ
12

Gtr.

˙ ˙ ˙ œœ œœ œ
& ˙ œ œ œ œ œ œœ
12

˙ ˙
?
Pno.

œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œœ œœ œ œ œ œ œ œ œœ
œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œœ œœ
 Keep On 3
BURNS

! Ó Œ
15 You squealed like a pig and you turned your tail and fled BART

&œ œ œ œœ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ
Don't ask why on - ly car - ry on I'm gon - na prove

&œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œœœœœœœœ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ
15

Gtr.

œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œœœ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ
œ œ œ œ
15

& œ
?
Pno.

œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œœœœœœœœ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ

& œ œ Û Û Û Û
18

œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œœœ œœœ œ œœœœ

my - self stop the mu - sic this mo - ment you own it bet-ter not let it go you've on - ly ta-ken

& œœ œœ œœ œœ œœ œœ œœ œœ b œœ œœ œœ œœ œœ œœ œœ œœ
18

Gtr.

Œ
20

& œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œœœœ œ œ œ œ œ
œ œ œ
one shot do not miss your chance don't blow this op - por - tu - ni - ty to end my life - time

& œœ œœ œœ œœ œœ œœ œœ œœ b œœ œœ œœ œœ œœ œœ œœ œœ
20

Gtr.

BURNS: I'm not going to strain to dispatch you there's no escape

BART: Come on Bart get yourself into place face hatch for you this boat is spinning on a river in a world that's
the long goodbye the final sigh sayonara wrong your family gone the forest on fire there's no life to aspire
suckers cold cruel world toodleoo. to no air no earth that won't expire you and if you could learn to

œ
Burns, snap to it. Let's see what you can do.

œ
hope again to conquer dread -

˙ ˙ ˙ œ œ
& .. ˙ ..
22 [GO ON]

˙ ˙
? .. ..
Pno.

œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ
œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ
 4 Keep On

BURNS:
yes that's right, Ghost Simpsons, I'm not deaf,
I've been perfectly aware of your off key musical maunderings from the beginning --
it wouldn't matter Little Bartlet you'd still be just as dead dead dead! HOMER

! ! ! Œ Œ Œ Û Û Û Û
24

&
˙˙ ˙ w
˙ w
No - thing pro - tects

! !
24

Gtr. &
Bart:

˙ ˙ U
w
Mom? Dad?

&˙ ! !
24

˙ w
? ! ! ! !
Pno.

& Û Û Û Û Û Û ‰ Û Û Û Û Û Û Û
28

J
us no - thing holds us No - thing leads us on but we

‰
& œŒ œ œŒ œ j œœ œ œ‰ œœ œ . œ œ
œ.
LISA and
MARGE
œ œ œœ œ
Love when love is gone You've got to J on
car - ry
Love when love is gone You have to car - ry

NEDRA & ˙ ‰ œ œ œ œ œ Œ Ó
Breathe when breath is use - less

& œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ
28

Gtr.

œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ
œ œ œ
28

&
?
Pno.

œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ
œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ
 Keep On 5

& Û Û Û Û Û Û Û Û ‰ Û Û Û Û Û Û Û Û Û
30

J
‰
stum - ble a - head a - ny - way We scrape we bleed we bite You're going to

& œ œ œŒ œ œ . œ j œœ œ œ‰ œœ
œ œ œœ œ. œ œ œ
Love when love is gone You've got to car - J
ry on
on Love when love is gone You have to car - ry

j ?
& ˙ œ œ œ œ œ œ
hope when hope is sense - less

& œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ
30

Gtr.

œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ
œ œ œ œ
30

& œ œ
?
Pno.

œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ
œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ
SIMPSONS
œ œ
& Û ‰Û Û ‰Û ! ! ‰ j œ ‰ j
32

J J œ œ œ
p
fight and fight and ITCHY and Fight and Fight and

& Œ Ó ‰ j œ ‰ j œ Œ !
SCRATCHY

œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ
on Fight and Fight and fight and fight and fight BURNS:

! ! !
Itchy! Scratchy!

& œœœœ œœœœ

32 Faster

Gtr.

! ! ! !
32

&
?
œœœœ œœœœ œ Œ œ Œ œ Œ !
Pno.

œ œ
œœœœ œœœœ œ œ œ œ œ
Faster
 6 Keep On

œ Œ ! !
36

&
œ œ œ œ
fight and fight and fight

& Œ Œ Œ ‰ j
BART SLOW

œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ. œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ. œ
P
There's no one look - ing af - ter me just sha - dows and their his - to - ry there's

& Œ Œ Œ œ w !
36

T.B.

!
36 Am D m/A
Gtr. & | |

! ! !
36

&
? !
Pno.

w w
w w
39 P
SLOW

& œ œ
œ œ œ œ œ œ. œ œ œ œ œ œ œ. œ
no - thing for me up a - head the ri - ver curves and then I'm dead but
39 Am D m/A
Gtr. & | |

! !
39

&
?
Pno.

w w
w w
 Keep On 7
41

& #œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ
I be - lieve that I'm going to stick a - round for a - no - ther secondor
- two Be - cause I've
41 D/A Am
Gtr. & | |

! !
41

&
?
Pno.

w w
w w
43

& #œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ
ne - ver done what I've been told and Burns you don't want me to I be
cresc.
43 D/A A m7
Gtr. & | |

! !
43

&
?
Pno.

w w
w w
 8 Keep On

j Û Û
œ œ œ œ œ œ
45

& #œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ #œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ
f
lieve I'm going to stick a -round for a - no - ther se- cond or two I'm going to make a lit - tle trou - ble Gon -na

45 E Am
Gtr. & | | |

! ! !
45

&
? ! Œ Ó
Pno.

w œ
w œ

.. œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ
SCRATCHY

! .. !
48

&
No - where to hide no - where to run

& Û Û Û ÛÛÛŒ Œ .. ! .. !

.. œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ .. ww
cause a hul-la- ba -loo!
VAMP

!
48

&
? ! .. ! ..
Pno.

w
w
 ITCHY and Keep On 9
ITCHY and

œ œœœ œ œ œ œ
SCRATCHY

œ œœœ œ œ œ œ
51 ITCHY SCRATCHY

& œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ
da da da da da da da da Too bad your life had just be - gun la la la la la la la la

w w w
& w
51

w w
?
Pno.

w w w
w w w
œ œœœ œ œ œ œ ! œ œœœ œ œ œ œ
51
Toy
Piano &
ITCHY and
SCRATCHY

œ œ œ œœœ œœœ œ œ
SCRATCHY BURNS

& œ œ œ œ œ œ Œ
54

œ œ œ œ œ œ
Kill - ing you will be lots of fun da da da da da da da da da Now is the time to die

& ww ww
54 SLOW

# ww
?
Pno.

w w w
w w SLOW

! œ œœœ œœœ œ œ !
54
Toy
Piano &

57ALL THREE

Œ œ œœ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œœœœ
& œ œœ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œœ œ
ALL

œ œ œ œ œœ œ œ œ
Now you are going to die. Now is the time to die con - tra - ry
FAST to pre - fer - en - ces or - di - na - ry

‰ œœ ‰ œœ ‰ b œœ ‰ œœ ‰ b œœ ‰ œœ ‰ œœ ‰ œœ
57

& #˙ œœ œ œœ FAST
˙ b œœ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ
? ˙
Pno.
œ œ œ œ œ œ œ
œ œ œ œ œ œ
 10 Keep On

2
BURNS

œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ ˙ Û Û Œ Ó
60

&œ œ œ œ 4
Your life will make us ex - tra mer - ry wake up it's time to die!

&‰ œœ ‰ œœ b œœœ œœ b ˙˙˙˙ Œ ! 2

60

œ œ œ œœœ 4
? Œ Ó 2
Pno.

œ ˙ 4
œ œ ˙
accel.

bœ œ ˙

& 42 38 j 43 38 j 42
63 VOICES

œ œ œ œ œœ œœ œœ œœ œœ œœ œœ œœ œœ
Huh huh huh huh huh huh huh huh huh huh huh huh huh

2 3 3 3 2
63

&4 8 j 4 8 j 4 œ œ œœ œœ
œ œ œ œ œœ œœ œœ œœ œœ œ œ
?2 f 3 j 3 3 j 2
Pno.
4 œ œ 8 œ œ 4 œ œ œ 8 œ œ 4 œ œ œ œ
œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ
2 œ œ 3 œ œ 43 œ 3 œ œ 2 œ œ
63 (THE RAPIDS SEQUENCE)

B. Dr. ã 4 8 J
œ œ 8 J 4
œ œ
f

& œ œ 38 œ œj 43 œ œ œ 38 œ œj 44 œ œ œ œ 38 œ œj 44
69

œ œ
huh huh
œ œ huh
huh huh
œ huh
œ huh
œ œ œ huh
huh huh
œ huh
œ huh
œ huh
œ œ œ
huh huh

38 j 43 œ œ 38 j 44 38 j 44
69

& œ œ œœ œœ œœ œœ œœ œœ œœ œœ œœ œœ œœ
œ œ œ œ
? 38 j 43 œ œ 38 j 44 38 j 44
Pno.

œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ
œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ
38 œ œ 43 œ œ 38 œ œ 44 œ œ 38 œ œ 44
69

B. Dr. ã œ œ J
œ
J
œ œ
J
 Keep On 11

4 3 j 3
75

&4 œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ 8 œ œ 4
œ
huh
œ
huh
œ
huh
œ
huh
œ
huh
œ
huh
œ
huh
œ
huh
œ
huh
œ
huh

4 3 j 3
75

&4 œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ 8 œ œ 4
œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ
?4 3 j 3
Pno.
4 œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ 8 œ œ 4
œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ
ã 44 œ 38 œ 43
75

œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ
B. Dr.
J

3 3 j 4 !
78

&4 œ œ œ 8 œ œ 4 #œ œ œ œ
œ
huh
œ
huh
œ
huh
œ
huh
œ
huh
œ
huh
œ
huh
œ
huh
œ
huh

3 ! 3 ! 4 !
78

T.B. &4 8 4 w

3 3 j 4 !
78

&4 œ œ œ 8 œ œ 4 #œ œ œ œ
œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ
? 3 cresc. 3 j 4 !
Pno.
4 œ œ œ 8 œ œ 4 œ œ œ œ
œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ ATTACCA

3 3 œ 4 œ
78

B. Dr. ã 4 œ œ œ 8 œ
J 4 œ œ œ !
cresc.
 MR BURNS
ACT 3
Act 3 Medley
8b Company
(Piano, Drum, Handbells)

LISA & 44 ! Œ Œ ‰ œj œ œ œ œ œœ œ œ œ œ œ œ œœ œ œ

& 44 ! Œ Œ ‰ jœ œ œ
You on - ly get one shot do not miss your chance you on - ly get one
HOMER
œ œ œœ œ œ œ œ œ œ œœ œ œ

& 44 ! ! !
You on - ly get one shot do not miss your chance you on - ly get one
ITCHY

MARGE & 44 ! Œ Œ ‰ jœ œ œ
œ œ œœ œ œ œ œ œ œ œœ œ œ

& 44
You on - ly get one shot do not miss your chance you on - ly get one

SCRATCHY ! ! !

NEDRA & 44 ! ! !
Bart and Burns

4
both see the sword

& 4 ˙˙ ˙˙ w
w
˙˙ ˙
˙
f
?4 ! ! !
Piano
4

Bass Drum ã 44 ! œ œ œ œ œ Œ œ Œ

Handbells & 44 ! ! !

©2012
 2 Act 3 Medley

& Ó Œ œ œ Œ Ó Œ
4

LISA
œ œ œ #œ œ œ
! Ó Œ ‰ j Œ
to - night now ba - by to - night

HOMER & œ œ œ œ œ

! Ó Œ ‰ j œ Œ
4 You got - ta be bad

ITCHY & œ œ œ œ
4 You got - ta be bad

MARGE & œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ #œ œ œ œ
One shot one shot one shot one shot One shot one shot one shot one shot One shot one shot one shot one shot
4

SCRAT & œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ #œ œ œ œ
One shot one shot one shot one shot One shot one shot one shot one shot One shot one shot one shot one shot

& Ó Œ œ œ Œ Ó Œ
4

NED
œ œ œ #œ œ œ
to - night now ba - by to - night

& w ! !
4

w
? ! œ œ œ œ œ œ #œ œ
Pno.

œ œ œ œ œ œ #œ œ
Œ Œ Œ Œ Œ Œ
4

B. Dr. ã œ œ œ œ œ œ
4

HB & w w w
 Act 3 Medley 3
Œ Œ Œ
7

LISA & ˙ œ œ ˙ œ œ ˙ œ œ

& Œ ‰ j Œ ‰ j Œ ‰ j
to - night to - night to - night

HOMER
œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ

& Œ ‰ j œ œ œ œ œ œ
7 you got - ta be you got - ta be you got - ta be

ITCHY
œ œ œ œ œ œ
you got - ta be Har - der bet - ter fas - ter strong - er

& œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ Ó
7

MARGE œ #œ œ #œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ
7 I'm gon - na make it to hea - ven light up the sky like a flame

SCRAT & œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ

‰ œj œ œ œ
one shot one shot one shot one shot one shot one shot one shot one shot one shot one shot one shot one shot

œ œ œ œ œ œ
7

NED & œ œ œ

˙ ˙ w ˙ ˙
you got - ta be Har - der bet - ter fas - ter strong - er

˙ ˙ w ˙ ˙
7

&
? œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ
Pno.

œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ
Œ Œ Œ Œ Œ Œ
7

B. Dr. ã œ œ œ œ œ œ

& ww ww ww
7

HB
 4 Act 3 Medley

Ó œ œ œ Œ Œ ‰ œ #œ œ
10

LISA & ˙ œ

& œ œ œ œ œ Û Û Û ÛÛ Û Û œ œ œ œ œ ‰
fas - ter strong - er I will sur -

HOMER œ œ J
& œ œ œ Œ œ œ œ Œ œ œ œ Œ
10
Har - der bet - ter fas - ter strong - This is ten per - cent luck Til the roof falls off
ITCHY

& œ œ œ Œ Œ ‰ Û Û
10

œ œ œ œ œ œ
won't back down won't back down won't back down
MARGE

back down won't back down won't back down Twen - ty

œ œ œ œ
10

SCRAT & ˙ ˙ ˙ ˙
na na ooh la la - na na

œ œ œ œ Œ Œ ‰
10

NED & ˙ ˙ œ #œ œ
w ˙˙ ˙ w
na na ooh la la - - - - I will sur -

& w ˙ w
10

? œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ
Pno.

œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ
ã œ Œ œ Œ Œ Œ Œ Œ
10

B. Dr. œ œ œ œ
w ww ww
& w
10

HB
 Act 3 Medley 5
‰ ‰ œ œ œ
13

LISA & #œ œ œ œ œ #œ œ

& Œ "Û Û Û Û Û ÛÛ"Û Û Û Û Û ÛÛÛ ÛÓ

vive I will sur - vive I will sur -
HOMER

˙
13 The on - ly thing that I pray is that my feet don't fa - il me now.

ITCHY & ˙ #˙ ˙

‰œ œ œ œ œ ‰ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ ‰
13 Ah ah ah ah

MARGE & J J
& œ œ œ œ
13 Til the lights go out Five til my legs give out can't shut my mouth

SCRAT
˙ ˙
ooh la la - - - na na

‰ ‰
13

NED & #œ œ œ œ œ #œ œ œ œ œ
˙˙ ˙ w
vive I will sur - vive I will sur -

˙ w
13

&
? œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ
Pno.

œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ
Œ Œ Œ Œ
13

B. Dr. ã œ œ œ œ
w ww
& w
13

HB
 6 Act 3 Medley
15

& #˙ œ œ œ
LISA
˙ œ
œ œ ˙ ‰ Û Û Û Û Û Û Û Û Û
vive Whoa oh oh oh oh

HOMER &

& Û Û Œ Œ œ
15 Ooh la la I know I got - ta be right now

ITCHY œ œ œ œ ˙ œ
Fif - ty We're on the edge of glo -

& Û Û Œ Œ œ
15

MARGE œ œ œ œ ˙ œ

œ
Fif - ty We're on the edge of glo -

& Û Û Œ œ Œ
15

SCRAT œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ

Œ œ
15 Fif - ty Whoa oh Oh You on - ly get one shot
NED & #˙ œ œ œ œ ˙ œ

œ œ œ œ
vive We're on the edge of glo -
15
ww œ œ œ œ
&
? œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ
Pno.

œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ
Œ Œ Œ Œ
15

B. Dr. ã œ œ œ œ
ww
!
15

HB &
 Act 3 Medley 7
Û Û Û
17

& œ œ
˙ œ ˙
LISA

& ‰. Û Û Û Û Û Û Û Û ‰ Û Û Û Û ‰ Û Û Û
Oh Whoa oh Feets feets don't

R J
HOMER

& œ #œ Œ Œ
17 Cause I can't get much strong - er Feets fail me not Feets feets don't

ITCHY
œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ

‰ œj œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ
- ry To - night To - night To - night

& œ #œ Œ
17

MARGE
˙
- ry You on - ly get one shot on - ly get one

j
& ‰ #œ œ œ œ œ œ œ Œ
17

SCRAT
œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ
You on - ly get one shot ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba

& œ #œ Œ Œ
17

NED
œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ
- ry To - night To - night To - night

œ œ #œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ
œ œ œ œ
17

&
? #œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ
Pno.

#œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ
Œ Œ Œ Œ
17

B. Dr. ã œ œ œ œ
ww
& w
17

HB
 8 Act 3 Medley

& Û Û Û Û Û Û Û Û Û Û Û Û Û Û Û Û‰ Û Û Û Û ÛŒ
19

J
LISA

& Û Û Û Û Û Û Û Û Û Û Û Û Û Û Û Û‰ Û Û Û Û ÛŒ
fa - il me now don't fa - il me now don't fa - il me now Don't fa - il me now

J
HOMER

‰ Û Û Û Û Û‰ Û Û Û Û ÛŒ
19 fa - il me now don't fa - il me now don't fa - il me now Don't fa - il me now

& œ œ œ œ
J J
ITCHY

To - night don't fa - il me now Don't fa - il me now

‰ Û Û Û Û Û‰ Û Û Û Û ÛŒ
19

& œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ
J J
MARGE

shot on - ly get one shot don't fa - il me now Don't fa - il me now

Û Û Û Û ÛŒ
19

SCRAT & œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ
ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba Don't fa - il me now

‰ Û Û Û Û Û‰ Û Û Û Û ÛŒ
19

& œ œ œ œ
J J
NED

To - night don't fa - il me now Don't fa - il me now

œ œ œ œ œ œ
œ œ !
19

&
? œ Œ
Pno.
œ œ œ œ œ œ
œ œ œ œ œ œ œ
Œ Œ Œ Œ
19

㠜
ATTACCA
B. Dr. œ œ œ
19
ww ww
HB &
 MR BURNS
ACT 3 Burns' Last Speech
CUE: "Don't fail me now!"
8c (BART HOLDS THE SWORD)
ENSEMBLE
(Piano, Bells, Drums)
Michael Friedman

# 4 Œ ‰ jœ œ .. ‰ j œ œ .. ‰ j œ œ
Women & 4 œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ
œ œ œ œ œ
# 4
Oo Oo Ooh Ooh Ooh ooh ooh Ooh Ooh ooh ooh

& 4 œ œ Œ ‰ j .. œ œ Œ ‰ j .. œ œ Œ ‰ j
œ œ œ
Men

# 4
Doh doh Doh doh doh doh doh doh doh

Tubular Bells & 4 w .. ! .. !

Snare Drum ã 44 œ œ Ó .. œ œ Ó .. œ œ Ó

Bass Drum ã 44 œ œ Ó .. œ œ Ó .. œ œ Ó

#
& 44 ! .. ! .. !
CUE: "What never?"
Piano
? # 44 ‰ j .. VAMP ‰ j ..
[GO ON]

Œ Œ Œ ‰ j
œ œ œ œ œ
œ œ œ œœ œœ œ œ œ

©2012
 2 Burns' Last Speech

# j j j .. ‰ j œ .
œ ‰ œ œœ œ œ ‰ œ œœ œ œ ‰ œ œœ œ œ œ œ œ .
4

&
œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ Ooh œ
œ ooh ooh
#
Ooh Ooh ooh ooh Ooh Ooh ooh ooh Ooh Ooh ooh ooh Ooh

& œ œ Œ ‰ j œ œ Œ ‰ j œ œ Œ ‰ j .. œ œ Œ ‰ j ..
œ œ œ œ
#
doh doh doh doh doh doh doh doh doh doh doh doh

! ! ! .. ! ..
4

T.B. &

Ó Ó Ó .. œ œ Ó ..
4

S.Dr. ã œ œ œ œ œ œ
cresc.

B. Dr. ã œ œ Ó œ œ Ó œ œ Ó .. œ œ Ó ..

4
# ! ! ! .. ! ..
&

Œ ‰ œj ..
Pno.
?# Œ ‰ œj œ œ Œ ‰ œj œ œ j
Œ ‰ œ .. œ œ
VAMP

œ œ
œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ
cresc.
 Burns' Last Speech 3
8
# !
&

# !
&

# U
& w
8

T.B.
As Bart stabs Burns:
8

S.Dr. ã !

B. Dr. ã !
8
# !
&
Pno.
?# !
ATTACCA
 MR BURNS
ACT 3
The clouds have parted
9
Friedman/Washburn

& C .. ! ! .. ˙ ˙
Gently
NEDRA
˙ b˙ ˙ ˙ b˙. nœ

& C .. .. ˙ ˙.
Waa waa waa waa waa waa waa The

! ! ˙ w ˙ ˙ œ
P
Male
Voice

˙ ˙˙ b ww .. ˙˙ ˙˙ b ww ˙˙ ˙˙ b ww
& C .. ˙
˙ ˙ w ˙ ˙ w ˙ ˙ w
Guitar

&œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ
7

œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ

&œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ
clouds have par - ted for the stars they're glow - ing stun - ning in the sky the rain has en - ded

! !
7

&| | |
Am C Dm
Gtr.

NEDRA and

j
FEMALE VOICE

& œ œ œ œ #œ œ œ œ #œ œ œ œ œ ‰ œœ œœ œ œœ œœ œœ œ
12

œ œ
œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ
&œ œ œ œ œ ‰ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ
and the ri - ver has sub - si - ded flow - ing soft - ly by The birds are call - ing for the

! ! !
12

& | |
E Am
Gtr.

©2011
 j
2 The clouds have parted

‰ j ‰
œœ œœ œœ œœ œ œ œœ œ
œ œ œœ œœ œœ œ # œœ œœ œœ œœ
17

& œœ œœ œœ œœ

& œ ‰ œJ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ ‰œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ
dawn on the hor - i - zon is first light and the warm wind of mor - ning will dis - pel the

! !
17

&| | |
C Dm E
Gtr.

œœ
22

& # œœ œœ œ œ œ œ œ bœ œ œ œ # œœ œœ œœ œœ # ww
œ œ œ œ
end - less night The warm wind of the morn - ing Brings the dawn and dawn - ing light

& œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ w

! ww b ww !
22

& |
A

w
Gtr.
 MR BURNS
ACT 3 Last Song
10 (Bart and Company) Washburn/Friedman

### 4 .
& 4 Ó
Very free

œ œ œ œ œ œ œ #œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ
Bart

P #˙
### 4
And now that I've lost e - very - thing now that e - very - thing I love is

Glockenspiel & 4 ! ! Ó !

5
### Ó Œ œ
& œ œ œ œ œ œ œ #œ œ œ œ œ œ œ b˙ œ
b˙
Bart

#˙
### b w bw
gone All I have left is e - very - thing the ri - ver car - ries me on The

! Ó !
5

Glk. &
10
###
& œ œ œ œ œ œ ˙ œ œ œ œ œ ˙
œ œ œ œ
Bart

###
world is filled with e - very thing I'm a boy who could be a - ny - thing And
10

& ˙˙ ˙˙ ww ˙˙ ˙˙ ww
Pno. P
#
? ## ˙ ˙ w ˙ ˙ w

###
œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ
14

Bart & œ œ œ œ œ

###
now I will do e - very - thing E- very - thing in this world be - longs to me The whole
14

& ˙ ˙ w ˙ ˙ w
˙ ˙ w ˙ ˙ w
? ### ˙
Pno.
˙ w ˙ ˙ w

©2013
 ###
2 Last Song

‰ Œ œ œ œ œ œ
18

&
œ œ œ œ œ œœ œ œ œ œ
œ œ œ œ œœ
Bart

###
world un - furls be fore me A great ad - ven - ture lies be - fore me I'm not a - fraid of

& ! ! ! ! Ó
Female
Voice
œ œ
###
Whoa oh

! ! ! !
18

& |
A
Acc.

###
˙˙ ˙˙
18

& ˙˙ ˙˙ ww ˙˙ ˙˙ ww ˙ ˙
? ### ˙
Pno.
˙ w ˙ ˙ w œ œ œ œ
˙ ˙ w ˙ ˙ w œ œ œ œ
 ###
Last Song accel. 3

œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ
23

Bart & œ œ œ œ œ œ

###
a - ny - thing I'm reach - ing out to e - very - thing I'm call - ing out to

& œ œ œ
˙ œ œ ˙ ˙ œ œ ˙ œ
Female
Voice

###
oh oh oh oh Whoa oh oh oh oh oh Whoa oh

& ! ! !
w
Female
Voice

###
Ga

! ! ! œ œ œ Œ
Male &
Voice

###
Zoom Zoom Zoom

& ! ! !
w
Female
Voice

###
Ga

! ! ! w
w
23

HB &
23
###
& | | | |
D A D A
Acc.

###
˙˙ ˙˙ ˙˙ ˙˙ ˙˙ ˙˙ ˙˙ ˙˙
23

&
˙ ˙ ˙ ˙ ˙ ˙ ˙ ˙
? ### œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ
Pno.
œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ
œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ

accel.
 ###
4 Last Song

œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ
27

Bart & œ œ œ œ œ œ

###
e - very - thing There's no - thing I'm a - fraid to see The world is new and
cresc.

& œ œ œ œ
˙ œ œ ˙ ˙ œ œ ˙
Female
Voice

###
oh oh oh oh Whoa oh oh oh oh oh Whoa oh

& ˙ œ œ ˙ œ œ
w w
Female
Voice

### œ œ œ
La la la Ga La la la Ga

œ Œ œ œ œ Œ œ œ Œ œ œ œ Œ
Male &
Voice

###
Zoom Zoom Zoom Zoom Zoom Zoom Zoom Zoom Zoom Zoom Zoom Zoom

Female
Voice
& ˙ œ œ w ˙ œ œ ˙ ˙

### w w
La la la Ga La To - night now

w w
w w w w
27

HB &
27
### D
& | | | |
A D A
Acc.

###
˙ ˙ ˙˙ ˙˙ ˙ ˙ ˙˙ ˙˙
27

& ˙˙ ˙˙ ˙˙ ˙˙
˙ ˙ ˙ ˙
? ### œ œ œ œ œ
Pno.
œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ
œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ
cresc.
 ###
Last Song 5

œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ
31

Bart & œ œ œ œ œ œ

### F
glit - ter - y I run to meet it hope - ful - ly Love ne - ver dies in

& Ó
˙ œ œ ˙
˙ œ œ ˙ œ œ
Female
Voice

###
oh oh oh oh Whoa oh oh oh oh oh

& ˙ œ œ ˙ œ œ !
w
Female
Voice

### œ œ œ
La la la Ga La la la

œ Œ œ œ œ Œ œ œ Œ !
Male &
Voice

###
Zoom Zoom Zoom Zoom Zoom Zoom Zoom Zoom Zoom

Female & œ ˙ œ ˙ ˙ œ ˙ Œ !
Voice

### w w
ba - by To - night now ba - by

w w
w w w w
31

HB &
31
### D !
& | | |
A D
Acc.

###
˙ ˙ ˙˙ ˙˙ ˙ ˙
31

& ˙˙ ˙˙ ˙˙ ˙˙ w
˙ ˙ w
? ### œ œ œ œ œ Fw
Pno.
œ œ œ œ œ œ œ
œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ
 ###
6 Last Song

œ œ œ œ œ
35

& œ œ œ œ
œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ
Bart

### f
me - mo - ry and I will meet life splen - did - ly Yes I will meet my life so

& !
Female
Voice ˙ ˙ ˙. œ œ œ œ œ œ œ
###
Ah ah ah yes I will meet my life so

& !
w ˙. œ œI will œ myœ lifeœ soœ
Female
Voice œ meet
###
Ah Ah yes

Male & Œ Œ Ó w ˙. œ œ œ œ œ œ œ
Voice

###
Ah yes I will meet my life so

& ! ˙ œ œ ˙. œ œ œ œ œ œ œ
Female

f
Voice

### w
Ah ah ah yes I will meet my life so

w ! ! !
35

HB &
35
### ! ! !
& ww
? ### w
Pno.
! !
w
w
f
 ###
Last Song 7

w ! !
39

& ˙
˙
Bart

###
splen - did - ly!

& œ œ ˙
˙ ˙ œ œ #œ œ œ œ #˙
Female
Voice

###
splen - did - I will meet life splen - did - ly yes splen - did -

& œ ˙
˙ œI œ #œ œ œ œ ˙
Female
Voice ˙ œ
###
splen - did - will meet life splen - did - ly yes splen - did -

& ˙ ˙ w œ œ œ œ # ˙˙ ˙˙
œ œ œ œ
Male
Voice

###
splen - did - ly splen - did - ly yes splen - did -

& ˙ ˙ œ #œ œ œ œ œ œ ˙ ˙
œ
Female
Voice

### ww ww ˙˙
splen - did - I will meet life splen - did - ly yes splen - did -

! ˙
39

HB &
### ! œ #œ œ œ œ
œ œ
39

Glk. & œ #˙ ˙
###
! w ! !
39

&
œ " œ #œ œ
Acc.

### œ œ œ #œ œ
! œ œ #œ
39

&

? ###
Pno.

˙ ˙ w w w
˙ ˙ w# w w
 ###
8 Last Song

! ! !
43

Female & w
Voice

###
ly

Female & w ! ! !
Voice

###
ly

& w ! ! !
w
Male
Voice

### w
ly!

Female & w ! ! !
Voice

# # # ww
ly

w ! ! !
43

HB &
### œ œ w
œ œ #œ œ œ #œ !
43

Glk. &
43
### !
& | | |
A A A

"w
Acc.

# # www
# ww
ww !
ww
43

& w
? ###
Pno.

w w w œ Œ Ó
w# w w œ
 MR BURNS
ACT 3
We are American
11 Company
Glockenspiel
Women & 44 ! ! ! Œ Œ Œ
œ œ
For we

4 ! ! ! Œ Œ Œ œ œ
Men &4

4 œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ . œj ˙ . œ œ
Glockenspiel &4 Œ Œ Œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ. œ ˙. œ œ

& œ œœ œœ œœ Œ œ Œ œ œ
5

˙˙ œ œ œ œœ œœ œœ œœ œ œ œ œ
are A - mer - i - can For though we were not luck - y Still we ma - naged to be

& œ œœ œœ œœ ˙ Œ œ œœ œœ œœ œœ œœ œœ Œ œ œ œœ œœ œœ œœ
˙
5
œ œ œ œ ˙. œ œ œœ œœ œœ œœ˙ œ œ œ œ œ œ
Glk. & œ œ œ œ ˙. œ œ œœ˙ œ œ œ œ œ œ

Œ œ œœ œœ œœ Œ œ œ
œ œ œ œ œ œœ
Œ œ œ
10

& œœœ œ ˙˙ ˙˙
plu - cky We are A - me - ri - can Yes we are A - me - ri - can O our

j
& œœ œœ ‰ Œ œ œ œœ œœ œœ ˙
˙
Œ
œ œ œ œ
œ
œœ œœ ˙
˙
Œ œ œ

10
œœ˙ œ œ œ œ œ ˙. œ œ œ
œ œ œ ˙. œ œ
Glk. & œœ˙ œ œ œ œ œ ˙. œ œ œ œ œ œ ˙. œ œ
 2 We are American

œœ œœ œœ Œ œ œ œœ œœ œœ Œ œ œ
15

& œ œ œ œœ œ œ œ œœ
vir - tues did not sa - ave us And our brainson - ly way - laid - us But though

& œœ œœ œœ œœ œœ œœ Œ œ œ œœ œœ œœ œœ œœ œœ Œ œ œ

œ œ œ œ œ œ ˙ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ ˙ œ œ
15

Glk. & œ œ œ œ œ œ ˙ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ ˙ œ œ

œœ œœ œœ ‰ œ œ œ
19

& œ œ œ œœ œœ œœ ˙˙ œ œ œ œ œ œœ
swept from our foun - da - tions Through our stee - ly en - du - ra - tions O we re -

& œœ œœ œœ œœ œœ œœ Œ œ œ œœ œœ œœ œœ œœ œœ ‰ œ œ œ

œ œœ œœ œ œ œ ˙ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ ˙ œ œ
19

Glk. & œ œ œ œ ˙ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ ˙ œ œ

& œ œœ œœ œœ ‰
œœ œœ œœ œœ œœ œœ œœ œœ œœ œœ œœ œœ œœ œj w
23

˙˙ ˙
main A - mer - i - can For we re - main A - me - -
w
ri - can!

& œ œœ œœ œœ ˙ œ œ œ œ œœœœ œœœœœ œ

˙ ˙ ww
23
œ œ œ œ ˙ ˙ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ . œj w
Glk. & œ œ œ œ ˙ ˙ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ œ. œ w