There are times in life when we might feel totally, hopeless, helpless, overwhelmed with

emotional pain.  It can seem like there is no other way out of our problems, we've run
out of ideas, possible solutions.  Our problems seem unfixable.  The pain feels like it will
never end. We believe we've run out of options, and suicide is the only
answer left.

Maybe the suicidal thoughts come to mind, you might have mixed
feelings about them.  They're frightening and confusing. 

For some people, suicide may be a way of getting back at others, or

showing them how much pain you're in.  But after suicide, you won't be there to see that
they feel guilty, or finally understand your pain.

Feelings will pass.  Depression feels permanent, but it's transient.  Things will change. 
Depression comes and it goes.  Over 90% of people who survive a potentially lethal
suicide attempt, do not go on to kill themselves.  It is a temporary crisis, an attempt to
stop the inner pain.    You will get through this tunnel and come out the other side.  The
feelings will pass!

Depression and pain distort our thinking.  It can seem like we're wearing very dark
tinted 'gloomy specs'.  Everything looks different to how it really is. 
Thoughts are thoughts - not necessarily how things are, although
it certainly feels like the thoughts are true.  Thoughts affect the way
we feel, and thoughts and feelings affect the way we react, what we
do (see this page).

Suicidal thoughts can result when we experience too much pain, without having enough
resources to cope.

We therefore have two ways to get us through this horrible time:

 Reduce our pain

 Increase our coping resources
REDUCE THE PAIN

Self-soothing

 Do something that will help you feel better, right now

 Perhaps collect items into an emergency bag or box that you can turn to
 Use all five senses to find things that will soothe you

Focus your attention on looking at something nice, nature, a

Vision
painting, watching a favourite programme or movie

Hearing Listen to a favourite piece of music, sounds of nature, sing

Smell Really notice smells - favourite soap, food, essential oil

Use sensation of taste to focus your attention.  Eat mindfully

Taste
- savouring each moment

Wear soft comforting socks, stroke a pet, give yourself a

Touch
hand massage

 A useful reminder, using the 5 senses:

5    5 things I can see

4    4 things I can hear

3    3 things I can touch

2    2 things I can smell or taste

1    1 breath.  Then continue to just notice your breathing, and

the sensations of breathing in your body - in your nose,
 throat, abdomen

Avoid drugs and alcohol

 Whilst it seems like they help for a while, they will make your problems worse.

Ask yourself:

 Are these thoughts facts or my opinion?

 What has helped me feel better in the past?
 What can I do right now that will help me feel better?
 What gives my life meaning?  What are my goals, dreams or life values?  E.g.
Family, friends, pets, helping others, faith, spirituality, community life, connecting
with nature.

Tell yourself:

 I've coped this far, I can get through the next .... (day, hour, 10 minutes)
 Things will look better in time.
 Depression is temporary - this will pass.
 Depression is distorting my thinking - these thoughts are the voice of
depression.  They are not facts.  I don't have to act on them.
 The vast majority of people get better from depression.  I will look back and be
pleased that I chose to live.

Write things down

 Safety Plan worksheet attached

 Alternative Thoughts & Actions worksheet (www.getselfhelp.co.uk)
 Crisis Management Plan worksheet  (www.getselfhelp.co.uk)

INCREASE COPING RESOURCES - IMMEDIATE STEPS

Take one step at a time

 Take things a little at a time.  Set out to get through the next day, the next week
or month, perhaps the next hour or even less.  Tell yourself:  "I've got through so
far, I can get through the next hour".

Help for Distress - Now!

Grounding techniques

Distract!

 Do something else, and focus your attention fully on what you're doing, e.g.
 Gardening
 Household chores
 Physical exercise - walk, run, cycle, dance
 Tapping (Emotional Freedom Technique)
 Reading - magazine, self help book
 Television
  Seek out a supportive discussion forum on the internet
 Learn something new on the internet
 Imagery
 Help someone else
 Go to the park, the beach - pay attention to nature
 Visit someone
 Music
 Stroke a pet
 DIY
 Feed the birds
 Sudoku or crossword
 Do something creative:  painting, writing, knitting, play a musical instrument,
make a collage, bake a cake, cook a meal, arrange some flowers, make a website
or blog

STOPP  (or worksheet version on www.getselfhelp.co.uk)

Talk to someone - now!

 A friend or family member

 A telephone helpline  (E.g. Samaritans 116 123)
 A health professional
 Go somewhere you'll feel safe - be with other people
 Go to the local Accident & Emergency department
 Call the local emergency number (E.g. 999, 112, 911)

INCREASE COPING RESOURCES - LONGER TERM STEPS

Take action!

 We can only change our situations by changing something about the way we
think, or what we do
 Complete a Multimodal Treatment Plan (Suggested self help plan & links)

Plan activity and routine

 Increase your activity

 Get into a daily routine and stick with it - get up at the same time
each day, go to bed at the same time, plan an activity each
morning, afternoon and evening
 Schedule in activities which help you:  Achieve, Connect &
Enjoy
 Do things you enjoy, or used to enjoy, or you think you might
enjoy:  Nourishing vs Depleting Activities
 Set realistic goals
 Write it down:  Weekly Planner,  Activity Diary or ACE Log  (PDFs)

Look after yourself

 Eat healthily, balance sleep, treat physical or mental health problems, avoid
drugs and alcohol, get regular exercise (PDF)
Systematically work through a problem

 Use the Problem Solving Worksheet

 Get help from an appropriate person or agency  (E.g. Citizens Advice Bureau)

Maintain or improve relationships

 Connect and be with others

 Call, text, email - friends or family
 Create new contacts - join a local support group or an online discussion forum
 Repair relationship:  Relationship worksheet

Lower your expectations

 Sometimes life can feel like we're struggling to drive or cycle up a

long and steep hill, in top gear.  The motor just can't get us there. 
It works really hard, but it's impossible to get up that steep hill in
top gear.  We need to change down a gear or two.  Changing down
gives the motor more torque, and is much better able to drive those wheels up
that hill, albeit a bit slower.
 We often try to struggle on in top gear, expecting so much of ourselves, of
others, of life itself.  Sometimes we need to change down a gear.  Slow it down,
reduce the struggle.  Carry on, but in a lower gear.
 Pace & Plan (PDF)

Write a daily diary or journal, or use:

 Safety Plan worksheet   &  Safety Plan Cards PDF

 Alternative Thoughts & Actions worksheet  PDF
 Crisis Management Plan worksheet  PDF
 Problem Solving Worksheet
 Depression Thought Record Sheet PDF
 Weekly Planner,  Activity Diary or ACE Log  PDF
 Worksheets and information leaflets
 Alternative Thoughts & Actions worksheet  PDF

 
ALL PDF SUGGESTIONS ARE AVAILABLE ON www.getselfhelp.co.uk
 Safety Plan
If you sometimes struggle with suicidal thoughts, complete the form below.
When you are feeling suicidal, follow the plan one step at a time until you are safe.

Feeling suicidal is the result of experiencing extreme pain and not having the resources to cope. We
therefore need to reduce the pain and increase coping resources.

Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.

These feelings will pass.
Keep the plan where you can easily find it when you’ll need it.

What I need to do to reduce the risk of me acting on the suicidal thoughts:

What warning signs or triggers are there, that make me feel more out of control?

What have I done in the past that helped? What ways of coping do I have?

What I will do to help calm and soothe myself:

What I will tell myself (as alternatives to the dark thoughts):

What would I say to a close friend who was feeling this way?

What could others do that would help?

Who can I call:

 Friend or relative:
 Health professional: Crisis Team 0300 365 9999
 Telephone helpline: Samaritans 116 123
A safe place I can go to:

If I still feel suicidal and out of control:

 I will go to the A&E department
 If I can’t get there safely, I will call 999