May my neighbors’cow die

Anathomy of Envy

If one folk saying describe Serbian culture well then is: “may my neighbors’ caw die”. Ovaj
crnohumorni prikaz poslovične crte našeg mentaliteta pun je zavist, sebičnost i nesloga (discord).
Serbian folk wisdom is full with story and warnings against those vices. Serbian national coat of
arms is cross with 4 Cyrillic letter S. Those 4 S stands for “Only unity can save us.” And there is a
saying that the enemy of Serbian Kingdom were always praying and saying: “Ne daj Boze da se Srbi
sloze” – “Heaven forbid that Serbs agree”. Unity is the opposite virtue to that one vice that can
destroy - envy.

For centuries, our people have looked down on everyone who wants to advance in society, to gain
more and progress, to undertake something new and different. Fulfilled and successful people are
always envied. In Serbia, everything can be forgiven, but not success. Someone else's happiness and
virtue seem to threaten us.
This is because the success of another is a rebuke and a warning, a finger pointed at the
laziness of our man, at his pasivity and reluctance. E.g:

Bad students often threaten the good ones not to show up their knowledge in class, because the
professor will expect the same from others. The good ones do not want to show how good they are
because there is envy and social rejection. People are afraid of success, it is easier to envy than to be
the object of envy.
But the story of neighbor and his cow is not complete story.

Ulovio naš čovek zlatnu ribicu, a ona mu reče: „Ispuniću ti tri želje, samo kaži šta želiš”.
Čovek će ko iz topa: „Prva mi je želja da komšiji crkne krava”. Ribica se zaprepasti: „Šta?! Zar nemaš
neku bolju želju? „Ne, ne, samo ti tako uradi. Ja baš hoću to.” I komšiji crče krava.
Došao je red i na drugu želju: „Hoću da i drugom komšiji crkne krava”.
„Čoveče”, reče zgranuta ribica, „nećeš valjda na takve želje da potrošiš ovu životnu šansu. Zar
je tebi najveći dobitak tuđa nesreća? Zar ništa razumnije nisi mogao da smisliš? Zar nije bolje da ti
dam sto krava, ili da imaš firmu, ili nešto slično…”
Na to se naš čovek, duboko ubeđen u sopstvenu mudrost i vrlinu, izdra na ribicu: „Znaš li ti
kakvi su to zlotvori, te moje komšije? Ovaj prvi podigao kuću na sprat, i sad mi baca senku na baštu.
Umislio da je veći domaćin od mene što ima bolja kola! Pa šta ako mu sin radi u Nemačkoj? A sa
ovim drugim se sporim oko međe već dvadeset godina.
„Pa čoveče, što ne tražiš da i tebi dam kuću, hotel, motel, kamion, avion, da imaš i ti i on, a ne
ovako? Upropastićeš i komšije i sebe iz inata i zavisti!”
„Jesi li ti ribica ili pop? Šta ti meni tu držiš propovedi i pridike? I tako i drugom komšiji crče
nesrećna krava.
Smrknuta i tužna ribica upita našeg čoveka koja mu je treća želja. Podseti ga, tek da ne pogreši
u izboru, da mu se pruža i poslednja mogućnost da se usreći bez znoja i muke. Nije li to san svakog
čoveka koji ne voli da jede hleb koji je sam zaradio? „Dakle, šta hoćeš da ti dam?”, upita ribica našeg
čoveka.
 „Hoću da i meni crkne krava!”, reče ovaj sa čudnim sjajem u očima i grčem na licu. Ribica
iskolači one svoje ionako buljave oči, i zaćuta ko riba. Konačno nađe snage da se obrati ovom
čudnom dvonošcu:
„Da ti crkne krava?! Pa čoveče, ti si lud! Kako to do sada nisam shvatila? Pa ti ćeš i sebe da
upropastiš!
„Nisam ja uopšte lud; pametniji sam nego što misliš. Sve sam predvideo. Sad kad su
komšijama crkle krave, još mi samo fali da dolaze k meni po mleko!”

Envy bring to the whole collapse od community, it is not individualistic in any way and it is not
just emotion, it is action behind that is very dangerous.

We think of envy as a kind of petty jealousy that just comes from wanting a little more. But the
Bible treats it as far more serious. Jonathan Edwards warned us to, “Never underestimate the spiritual
power of envy.” Mark in his gospel notice how Pilate perceived that "it was out of envy that they handed
Jesus over" (15:10).

Zavist nije isto sto i ljubomora.

 Behind envy is the whole specter of negative emotions based on that you miss something that the
other person has.
 Behind jealousy is fear to loos something that you have. To be jealous you mast have love first.
 Envy doesn’t have anything with love, just bed emotions and bad actions.

And because of that, a man will not admit that he is envious, but he will admit that he is jealous,
because jealousy is based on love. Envy is denied. But it is recognized under the mask of moral
judgment, quest for justice, demands for equality.

I would say that the West doesn’t know this destructive power of envy that affect cultural makeup
of one people group.
This kind of envy is very characteristic for the cultures that have certain cultural elements.

I would say that not many people in the West will see that prosperity of their neighbors robbing
them of opportunity to be successful, treating their honor, and provoke the do negative actions to bring
that person back in place.

If fact what can happened is that success of my neighbor can be reminder an trigger that I can
also succesfull in my life. Even Aristotle distinguishes envy () from emulation ().

 Envy attacks a successful person and seeks to level him without spurring the envier to achieve
anything on his own.
 In contrast, emulation does not seek to harm the successful person, but spurs on the less
accomplished person to seek excellence on his own merits. (11)
 Envy is extremely destructive because it cannot even be equated with the desire to have
something that others have.

An important element of envy is precisely the need for the one who has it to be deprived of what
we envy, to be devalued, to be humiliated… so that envy stops corroding the one who envies.

Envy is never left without evil actions. It rarely stays at the level of an emotion, but seeks ways to
achieve its purpose to behold the victim of his envy pass from happiness to misery, that he who is
admired might become an object of pity. What forms of social interaction might the envious person
employ?

(1) ostracism,
(2) gossip and slander,
(3) feuding,
(4) lawsuit,
(5) the evil eye, and
(6) homicide.

To understand what is the antidote for envy we need to understand what kind environment brew envy.
What are Socioeconomic and Psychological Conditions that are fruitful soil for Envy.

1. Limited Good. All good things in the world exist in limited supply. Cultures that view their social,
economic, and natural universes as one in which all of the desired things in life such as land, wealth,
health, friendship and love, manliness and honor, respect and status, power and influence, security and
safety, exist in finite quantity and are always in short supply.

"Until dusk falls for one man, dawn cannot come for another"
 meaning one man's ill fortune is another's good fortune

So any advantage achieved by one individual or family is seen as a loss to others, and the person who
makes 'progress' is viewed as a threat to the stability of the entire community. Any person's gain must
comes through loss by others. Two things happen when people view the world in this way:
(1) they "are reluctant to advance beyond their peers because of the sanctions they know will be
leveled against them"(22) and
(2) the person "who is seen or known to acquire more becomes much more vulnerable to the envy of
his neighbors. Envy follows as surely as night follows day. Envy is a such a natural respond.

2. If one culture is more on the high end of Agonistic or combative Nature of Society the more will be
fruitful soil for envy. "all the families quarrel with each other. Always the same squabbles, endless
squabbles, passed down from generation to generation in endless lawsuits." (27) 

3. Honor: the Ultimate "Limited Good." For what did they compete? Anthropologists and New
Testament scholars call honor one of the pivotal values of the Mediterranean world, both ancient (32)and
modern.(33) Honor most basically refers to one's worth, standing and reputation in the eyes of village or
neighborhood.(34) It is one's social credit rating or social entitlement to respect and interaction. Since the
ancients considered "love of honor" ( �) as humankind's highest goal, it seems safe to say that they
competed intensely for honor, which, like all other goods, exists in limited supply.

 We need theology that has answer for those conditions that brew envy:
- Theology of Gods unlimited greatness, grace and resources,
- We need theology of peace and reconciliation and harmony as a opposite to agonistic
combative nature of eastern societies.
- Theology of true heavenly honor that exceed every honor that this world can give.

 Together with that we need to be aware and teach (particular foreign missionaries) practical skills
need it to avoid envy so the door for gospel is keep open. What kind of person is not subject of
envy, how to be that man of peace.

 And we need to build communities of believers that can present what the life and relationships
without envy looks like.

In cultures where person fear the envy of others and rejoice in their coveting, where I lough when
you cry and cry when you lough …WE need true Romans 12:15 community that “Rejoice with
those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn.”