2.1.

3 Practice: Improving a Historical Essay Practice

U.S. History Sem 1 Name:
(2021) Date: Dec,7,2022

Section 1: Revising An Existing Narrative

Complete items 1-4 as you work through the pages in this activity. You will be
revising and editing this paragraph:

George Washington was Americas first and greatest president.

America was started in 1776 with the Declaration of
Independence. He was born in 1732. He stopped the Whiskey
Rebellion from becoming a war in Pennsylvania. He kept us out
of war in France. His experience as an army officer helped him
avoid two wars during his presidency. Washington's greatest
example was retiring after only two terms.

1. This paragraph has a sentence that does not belong. To find it, read the topic
sentence again. Which sentence is not about George Washington? Draw a line
through that sentence. (2 points)

The sentence that does not belong there is “America was started in 1776 with the
Declaration of Independence.”

2. One of the remaining sentences seems to be out of order. Underline or draw a

circle around the sentence that should be moved. Draw an arrow to show where you
want it to go. (2 points)

George Washington was Americas first and greatest president. He was born in
1732. He stopped the Whiskey Rebellion from becoming a war in Pennsylvania.
He kept us out of war in France. His experience as an army officer helped him avoid
two wars during his presidency. Washington's greatest example was retiring after
only two terms.

3. Even after the out-of-place sentence is moved, this paragraph needs revisions.
Most of the sentences have the same sentence structure. One way to address this is
to combine sentences. How could you combine the first two sentences to improve
the clarity of the paragraph? (2 points)
America was started in 1776 with the declaration of independence, while George
Washington was the first and greatest president in office. He stopped the Whiskey
Rebellion from becoming a war in Pennsylvania. He kept us out of war in France. His
experience as an army officer helped him avoid two wars during his presidency.
Washington's greatest example was retiring after only two terms.

4. Adding transitions to the beginning of sentences in the paragraph will also

improve clarity. Adding a transition word to the last sentence in the paragraph will
help call out that it is the conclusion. What word will improve the flow of the
paragraph and better indicate its conclusion? Edit the final sentence in the space
below. (2 points)

America was started in 1776 with the declaration of independence, while George
Washington was the first and greatest president in office. He stopped the Whiskey
Rebellion from becoming a war in Pennsylvania. He kept us out of war in France. His
knowledge as an army officer helped him avoid two wars during his presidency. This
is why Washington's greatest example was retiring after only two terms.

Section 2: Revising Your Own Narrative

You will now combine your understanding of editing and revising with the skill of
chronological thinking. You will:

● Identify the dates in a series of events in U.S. history.

● Write a historical narrative that puts those dates in chronological order.

● Improve your narrative through the revising and editing process.

This section is worth 22 points.

1. Briefly research the following events in U.S. history and record their dates in the
space provided. The dates for these events should be easy to find online or in an
encyclopedia. If you do not have access to the Internet or a library, please speak with
your teacher. (4 points)
Event Date(s)
The U.S. Constitution is ratified.  March 09,1789
George Washington is elected president
of the United States.  April 30,,1789
The French establish their first colony in
North America.  July 27,1605
The Second Continental Congress
approves the Declaration of
Independence.  July 04,1776
English settlers establish the Jamestown
colony in Virginia.  May 13,1607
The French lose the battle of Quebec to
England.  September 13,1759
The Treaty of Paris concludes the French
and Indian War, requiring New France to
give up most of its territory in North
America to Spain and Great Britain.  February 10,1763
British acknowledge American
independence with the Peace of Paris.  September 03,1783
Christopher Columbus lands in the New
World.  Aug 03,1492
The first 10 amendments to the U.S.
Constitution, known as the Bill of Rights,
are ratified.  December 15,1791

2. Now put those dates and events in chronological order. (4 points)

Event Date(s)
 Christopher Columbus lands in the New  Aug 03,1492
World.
 The French establish their first colony in  July 27,1605
North America.
 English settlers establish the  May 13,1607
Jamestown colony in Virginia.
 The French lose the battle of Quebec to  September 13,1759
England.
 The Treaty of Paris concludes the  February 10,1763
French and Indian War, requiring New
France to give up most of its territory in
North America to Spain and Great Britain.
 The Second Continental Congress  July 04,1776
approves the Declaration of
Independence.
 British acknowledge American  September 03,1783
independence with the Peace of Paris
 The U.S. Constitution is ratified.  March 09,1789
 George Washington is elected president  April 30,1789
of the United States.
 The first 10 amendments to the U.S.  December 15,1791
Constitution, known as the Bill of Rights,
are ratified

3. As you put these events in chronological order, did you notice any themes or
trends? Chronological thinking, specifically the act of putting past events in order,
helps historians make sense of the past and create historical narratives. Simply put,
historical narratives are stories of the past.

With this in mind, write a brief historical narrative of early American history using
these events and your general knowledge of the past. Your narrative should be one
or two paragraphs long and include at least six of the events listed above. (6 points

Given that Christopher Columbus is credited with discovering the Americas, early
American history is known to have a compelling historical narrative.

4. Your last step is to revise and edit your narrative. What improvements can you
make to bring clarity to your language? Can any of your ideas be combined or
deleted? Are all of the events listed in order? Did you make any spelling errors? Did
you fulfill all of the requirements for the assignment — is your narrative one or two
paragraphs long, and does it include at least six of the listed events)? Revise and
edit your narrative in the space below. (8 points)

The historical narrative of early American history is known to be a great one as the
explorer Christopher Columbus was known to be the one who discovered the
Americas.
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2.1.3 Practice: Improving a Historical Essay