Rouge Series #1: Unholy Mess

Unholy Mess
(Rouge Series #1)

This novel and the characters are fictitious. Names, characters, business, events
and incidents are the products of the author's imagination. Any resemblance to
actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.

This story contains mature scenes and issues, read at your own risk!

Started: 12-10-19
#UM0
I write typical and predictable stories. If your taste is unique, you can't find it
here. I'm not a professional writer and still learning, I am not here to please
you. I just simply wanna share for FREE. So please, if you're a perfectionist who
wants to read a very clean novel, leave my works.

•••

#UM0

I've been hearing a lot of gossips that I was the unholy mess in the family. At
first, I couldn't understand why but while growing up without a complete family
makes me think that I really am. I feel like I ain't belong because I have no
permanent home to live in since I was a kid. Although, both sides never made me
feel that bad but still...

"I said no, Sileas," Mommy said sternly.

"But it's vacation, let me be with Villareals!"

Her critical eyes darted on me, I shivered in nervous. The white curtain behind her
was slightly blown by the cold wind, she sipped on her wine glass while looking at
me frigidly.

"Can't you understand that you need to study more because your grades are heading
down?"

My heart quenched.

Why does she always need to remind me that? Am I not doing well? I wanted to laugh
at that. Of course, I'm doing my best to make her proud but she can't see it. My
grades this sem just went a bit lower than my first sem but I didn't fail.

"I understand, Mommy. One week lang naman ako kay Papa, sana mapagbigyan mo iyon
dahil ilang buwan ko na siyang hindi nakakasama."

I didn't leave her eyes and I could almost see my own brave eyes tonight.

She should get convinced that I want to
ilang taon na akong puro pag-aaral lang
Papa ang gusto kong makausap sa oras na
got out of senior high and college life
listener.
be with my father. Isang linggo lang iyon,
at wala akong maayos na makausap dito. Si
hindi ko na kinakaya ang pag-aaral. I just
sucks, I need ears and Papa's the best

She sighed heavily.

"Alright, one week."

Yes!

I smiled slightly. "Thanks, Mom."

She just stared at me, even though she's my mother—I feel always intimidated.

I inhaled. "I'll be good."

She doesn't trust me... I know that.

I went out of her room with a smile and walked directly into my room to call Papa,
sumampa ako sa kama at nag-indian sit habang hinihintay ang sagot.

I'm so excited to see him again and be with my cousins, hindi ko sila gaanong close
noon pero hindi nila pinaramdam sa akin na iba ako kaya kalaunan kaming naging
malapit. I got to know them when I turned fifteen and moved into the Philippines.
Iyon din ang unang pagkakataon na naipakilala niya ako sa lahat ng relatives niya.
Villareals are very welcoming.

Ever since, I was in Mommy's household and Papa was just visiting Miami to see me
back then. Palipat-lipat ako, kapag weekdays ay kay Mommy at sa weekends naman kay
Papa. Dumalang nga lang nitong nakaraang buwan dahil nakatuon ako sa pag-aaral at
bawal mawala sa konsentrasyon. Hindi kasi ako magaling sa lahat gaya ng mga
kapatid.

"Hello, Papa!" I giggled.

"What's up, baby girl?"

I groaned. "I'm eighteen! Stop calling me that!"

"Alright, big baby! So how was your talk with your Mum?"

I rolled my eyes but smiling. Sabi ko huwag ako tawaging baby girl dahil matanda na
ako pero big baby naman ang pinalit, ano kaya 'yon!

"Pumayag siya, Pa. Kaso one week lang." I pouted sadly.

He sighed heavily. "I'll talk to her, lugi na ako sa patakaran niya. You've been
with her since day one and she only allowed me to visit you on weekends for years
and I let her, your Mom's really provoking me to change the routine using the law.
You're already eighteen, I know you can decide where you want."

I gasped, kinabahan ako. I don't really want to be in the situation like this, I
want to be with them both. Kaya ko naman. Besides, it will just add more fire in
between. Ayaw pa naman ni Mommy ng ganoon, lalong magmamatigas dahil alam niyang
may laban siya at kaya niyang ipanalo.

"Papa... please, don't. Makakahanap din ako ng tyempo tungkol doon. Mom has a soft
spot, it can be fixed in a nice way."

Naniniwala pa rin ako na may kalambutan si Mommy pero sana makuha ko iyon, ewan ko
kung bakit sa akin siya ganito ka-istrikto. Sa ibang kapatid ko naman ay malambot
siya, siguro dahil aksidente lang ang presensya ko at ayaw niya talaga kay Papa?

"Good Lord, if she ever has that spot. I know her, she doesn't listen and very
strict. I'll talk to her some other time, tiis ka muna sa ngayon," malamyos niyang
sambit. "I want you to feel the freedom."
I smiled a bit. Our talk lasted long until a maid called me for dinner. I felt
better the whole night after talking with him.

Papa is really open and understanding. Well, lahat naman ng nakilala kong Villareal
noon sa kanila habang ang mga Miramontes naman ay istrikto lalo sa mga babaeng
hawak ang apelyido.

Mommy has a powerful family from roots to tips, she was born powerfully—it's
already running in Miramontes' blood. And also Papa, he came from a rich Villareal
family but seeing the both family sides gave me a lot of views about them. My
parents came from the same lifestyle—wealthy and decent but different in how they
hold it. Mommy's powerful and Papa's in the middle, he never let me think about the
failures while Mommy's always reminding me not to be one.

I never felt Papa's power over anything and Mommy's power was all over my life. So
tiring but I can make it, I'll never be a failure.

Another days passed by slowly. I couldn't help but feel excited each day until now
because Papa's going to fetch me.

"Sileas," Gunther called me in a formal whisper.

"What?"

His brows furrowed slightly while looking at me.

"Lola's calling you, you're in space."

Suminghap ako at bumaling sa kabisera ng hapagkainan.

"L-Lola, sorry. What is it again?" 

Nakakahiya. She's the mother Miramontes, our grandparents are here to announce some
stuff and had their breakfast with us. Galing pa silang Zamboanga.

She smiled. "It's alright. I'm just asking what's your plan for holidays?"

Nangunot ang noo ko at napasulyap kay Mommy na tahimik ang pagsimsim sa baso ng
juice pero nakatuon din ang mga mata sa akin.

"Uh..." I can't find words. I don't know, ano bang plano ni Mommy? Bakit ako ang
tinatanong?

Lola glanced at Mommy and sighed softly.

"Don't worry about your mother, I just wanna hear where you want to spend holidays?
With us or your father's family?"

My lips separated. Huh? Is she seriously asking that?

"She can spend it with both, Lola. She can be with them on Christmas and be with us
on New Year," Gunther suggested.

"The plan is one way until New Year, it's not possible," Gabbani intervened.

Naglipat ang tingin ko sa kanila, naguguluhan ako. Hindi kailanman nabanggit ni

Lola ang tungkol sa tunay kong ama dahil galit ang mga Miramontes sa kanya kaya
nakakagulat na tinatanong niya ito sa akin ngayon. I don't really know the story
behind my existence, anyway. I just know that I wasn't meant to be one of Mommy's
children, aksidente lang ako.

Daddy sighed. "Let her decide, Gunther and Gabanni. We can always make a new plan
for the holiday vacation."

Napangiti ako, I grew up knowing Hartell Placido as my father and he's really good
to me but the truth was unveiled when Papa decided to take legal actions for his
right. I was so young when they broke my heart but who am I to judge them, I'm just
their child.

"Yeah, with or without her." Gabanni smiled sarcastically.

My heart ached but I smiled at Daddy and Lola.

"Thank you, po. Pero baka k-kila Papa na lang ako sa holidays para hindi na magulo
ang plano n'yo."

Lola nodded.

"Alright, then. Did you tell him about it?"

I inhaled deeply. Hindi ko na sinalubong ang tingin ni Mommy, buo na ang desisyon
ko dahil nasabi na kay Lola.

"Will you be okay there that long?" Lolo asked on the other side of the table.

"Yes, Lolo."

"I just hope you won't have their liberated lifestyle," Gabanni said.

Nginitian ko na lamang iyon. They're not actually liberated, malayo nga lang sa
konserbatibong pamumuhay ng mga Miramontes na kinalakihan ko.

Gunther sighed and continued eating.

Gunther Miramontes Placido is my second brother and the eldest sister is Gabanni.
I'm the  youngest who has a different surname. See, why there are gossips about the
unholy mess? I was the fruit of that mess.

Alam ko lang na ganoon pero hindi ang totoong kuwento, kung may pagmamahal bang
namuo kay Mommy at Papa o diretsong pagkakamali lang talaga ang lahat.

After breakfast, I took a bath and packed my things for the holiday season. Iyon
ang ginawa ko sa araw na iyon at hindi mapigilang lumipad ng isip ko patungo sa mga
araw na darating. Nakakaramdam ako ng hiya at tuwa sa magkaparehong oras. Hindi ko
sigurado kung saan ako tutuloy roon, sa Laguna ba o Makati o may ibang plano pa ang
pamilyang Villareal para sa holidays.

"Are you sure about this, Sileas?" Mommy asked the next morning while I was putting
my denim jacket on.

"Yes, Mommy." I smiled. "Don't worry about me, Papa will take care of me."

Her eyes darkened, umiwas siya ng tingin at pormal na tumango.

"How are they treating you, anyway?"

"They're good and welcoming. Hindi naman po nagbago iyon."

"At saan ka tutuloy?"

I shrugged, tumayo ako sa harapan ng salamin para tingnan ang sarili. I'm wearing a
white undershirt, a denim jacket and a fitted high waisted skirt. My hair was down
freely.

"Kay Papa."

"I'll call Ganix to bring you safely in Laguna, wala talagang kusa ang ama mo. He
should fly here to get you, hindi iyong ikaw ang babiyahe mag-isa."

I sighed. "Ako naman po ang nagpumilit na huwag na niyang sunduin dahil eroplano
lang naman iyon at cab papuntang Laguna. I'm old enough to take care of myself."

"I don't see you as an adult yet, you're just a teenager and we're not sure about
the safety especially that you're a girl. Harm is everywhere. Hindi ba iyon ni
Prudence Villareal? He'll really let you do what you want without minding the
consequences around? Kahit magpumilit ka, kung nag-iisip siya — hindi ka niya
hahayaang mag-isa."

Here we are again about Papa. Minsan nasasaktan ako tuwing ganito kababa at
kawalang kuwent ang tingin ni Mommy sa kanya dahil alam ko naman iyong totoo, Papa
is always taking care of me. He's even more worried about my mental health than my
grades and that's what I appreciate the most.

"I'll be fine, Mommy. Please, let's not argue about this."

She stared at me for a while and I set aside my emotions, inayos na lamang ang mga
gamit ko sa kama. Sinukbit ko ang bag sa balikat at hinila ang kulay abong maleta
ko.

Mommy went out of my room first and I followed her, she reminded me a lot of
things. Tanging tango at pag sang-ayon ang aking ginawa hanggang sa ibaba, Gunther
and Gabanni were already waiting downstairs. Nagpaalam na rin ako sa kanila, Daddy
was out early for meeting kaya nagpaalam na ako sa kanya noong umaga pa lang.

Our driver drove me to airport after a long talk of reminders with Mommy, nagpaalam
ako sa mga kapatid at nadagdagan pa ako ng mga paalala ni Gunther habang si Gabanni
naman ay walang pakealam.

Isang eroplano mula Davao hanggang Maynila ang aking sinakyan, I was sleeping the
whole time in the airplane. Ilang oras lang ang tinagal noon at lumapag na iyon sa
NAIA, I texted Papa that I already boarded.

My phone rang while I was walking with my luggage. Huminto ako sa double mirrored
glass wall, I looked at my reflection as I answered Papa's call. Inangat ko sa
buhok ang aviators na suot at inayos ang ilang hibla ng buhok na lumaglag sa noo
ko.

"Papa," I said.

"Where are you exactly?"

"Terminal one, I'm going out now."

"Alright. Meet Archelaus at the parking, I'll call him. I'm so excited to see you,"
his voice sounds so happy.
I giggled. I know Arki, he's one of my cousins in Laguna.

"Alright, Papa. See you in a bit!" 

"Love you," he said and ended the call after few reminders.

Tumungo ako sa isang stall para bumili ng bottled water, my phone rang again and it
was unknown number. Naintindihan ko agad, baka si Arki iyon.

"Hi, lady. Where are you exactly?" Arki's deep voice greeted me.

"Ah, Arki. Nasa stall lang ako, bumili ng tubig saglit. Papunta na ako, nasaan ka
banda?" hinila ko ang maleta.

"Oh, alright. I'll get you, just stay there."

I feel shy. "O-Okay."

Binaba niya ang tawag kaya naman sinunod ko na lang ang sinabi niya, I stayed on my
ground while looking around the place.

Sa pagkakatanda ko, iyong huling kita ko kila Arki ay last year pa at wala akong
balita sa kanya simula noon. Even in social medias, he has a private Instagram and
no Facebook account at all. Ang madalas ko lang makita sa social media ay sina
Capriana at Diamante, ang kalapit ko lang talaga mula bata ay si Patch—Tita
Patience' daughter and they're living in Miami, too. Doon ako dinadala ni Papa noon
at siya ang kalaro, when Mommy decided to move in Davao—we never saw each other
again. Bata pa lang kasi kami noon, hindi rin ako pinapayagang sa gadgets kaya
hindi uso video call.

I almost jumped in surprise when someone suddenly took my luggage, nalingunan ko

agad si Archelaus Villareal—he was smiling in a normal devilish way. His clean cut
hair was up messily and he's just wearing a white round neck shirt, sweatshorts and
a pair of Givenchy slides.

"Hello to you, too, Miss Sileas Pallavi Miramontes Villareal." He chuckled and
messed my hair up. "You got taller, ah!"

I gasped and rolled my eyes.

"Thank you for ruining my hair."

He just laughed and walked, sumunod ako habang inaayos ang buhok. He really looks
like his father, mas moreno lang ang kulay niya ngayon. Siguro galing sa outing.

"Sorry, I need to walk faster because I left Troi in the car. Baka magulat tayo,
may nabunggo na dahil nagmaneho ang bulag." Tumawa siya sa biro at nilingon ako
habang naglalakad. "Mabigat ba 'yang backpack mo? Akin na."

"Hindi na, ayos na 'to sa akin!" tanggi ko, medyo natawa sa sinabi niya.

He nodded and pouted a bit while scanning the parking.

"Tito Prudence' ankle isn't okay yet, kami na lang ang sumundo sayo rito. Ayos lang
naman, 'di ba?"

"Oo naman, naiintindihan ko."

"Hmm, Miramontes' secret agent probably followed you until here to check who
fetched you." He laughed.

"Hindi naman siguro." Natatawa kong sinabi.

Narating namin ang puting sasakyan, it's Papa's Range Rover. Nakabukas ang harapang
pinto kung saan nakaupo si Troilus at nakatayo sa labas ang nagsisigarilyong lalaki
—Jac Constantine Hontiveros, I don't personally know him but he's all over the
magazines. In short, he's famous. I felt the sudden heat upto my cheeks when his
head turned to us, his eyes narrowed by the sunshine.

Diretsong lumakad si Arki sa likuran ng sasakyan para buksan iyon at nilagay doon
ang maleta ko.

"That's Jace, one of our friends, by the way... this is Pallavi, Tito Dence'
daughter."

Jace flashed a nice smile that still looks like a smirk and nodded a bit.

"Nice to meet you, Pallavi."

My face heated, hindi ko siya celebrity crush pero hindi ko inasahan na may
kaibigan palang sikat sila Arki at nakakaintimidate lang talaga.

I just nodded curtly and glanced at Troilus, nakatingin lang siya sa malayo at
hindi mo aakalaing bulag dahil normal ang kilos.

"Jace, sa gulong ka na lang!" tawa ni Arki at binuksan ang pinto para sa akin.

"Gago," ani Jace sabay tawa. "I'll just drive kung ayaw mo patabihan pinsan n'yo."

I can't believe that he's all normal even famous!

Binato ni Arki ang susi kay Jace at sinalo niya iyon, ngumisi nang masulyapan ako.
Uminit ang tainga ko. Kumunot ang noo ko, I took a deep breath and slid in. Sumakay
na rin si Arki sa tabi ko, I simply greeted Troi in the front seat and he nodded.

He's still the same grumpy Troi, akala ko noon magbabago rin ang kalamigan ng ugali
niya pero inborn na pala iyon. Jace Hontiveros drove away immediately, kinakausap
naman ako ni Arki habang nasa biyahe kami at si Troilus ay tahimik lang sa harapan.

"Any plan for holidays?" Arki asked. "I mean, sa mga Miramontes ka?"

I smiled and shook my head.

"They're going out of the country, I decided to stay here."

Tumingin siya sa akin at ngumisi.

"Well, that's a good news for us. You've been spending a lot of holidays with
Miramontes, nakakasawa nga naman."

Ngumuso ako at nagkibit balikat.

"And it's really surprising that your Mom's letting you decide now!" he said.
"Kilala mo siguro iyon, Jace?"

"Who?"

"Mga Miramontes, they're originally from Villa Terrazas."

Jace glanced at the rearview mirror to look at us.

"Is she a Miramontes?"

"Yeah." Arki shrugged. "Her strict Mum."

"I heard about them, Miramontes in Villa Terrazas are family of lawyers. Are you in
the same branch of family?" Jace asked.

I nodded. "Yes."

He smirked.

"They're just like Zobels and Azcons, families there are the same with only
different cultures."

"How did you say so?" I asked curiously. He sounds like he knows a lot of family
there.

"He's one of the Zobels, Pallavi." Arki chuckled.

My lips parted, shocked at that. Wala naman akong alam sa background ng sikat na
ito pero hindi ko akalain na isa siyang Zobel.

"'D-Di ba..." I couldn't continue the gossips about them.

He glanced at me on the rearview mirror again and nodded to confirm what I was
about to voice out.

"My parents are both Zobels," he confirmed without a hint of disgust.

My eyes widened. I don't wanna judge but seriously? Is he a fruit of wrong

arrangement? Screen name niya lang pala ang Hontiveros, kung ganoon?

Hindi na ako nakapagsalita at tumango na lang, he even glanced at my reaction but I

managed my expression into a calm one like I don't judge them at all.

I just can't believe that the gossips are all true, how are they living like that?
Magkakamag-anak lang silang nagpapakasal sa isa't-isa.

I wonder about the famous Jace Hontiveros? I laughed mentally, did he meet the
Zobel for him?

Shit, I'm so bad. I shouldn't think bad about their culture, I'm thankful that
Miramontes doesn't have the same culture. Kaya Zobel at Azcon ang hindi ko
nabalitaang nalugian ng kahit ano roon, sila talaga ang hari at reyna ng Villa
Terrazas pero madalas ding pag-usapan dahil sa kanilang family culture.

Natunaw ang pag-usisa ng isip ko tungkol sa kanila nang tumunog ang cell phone ko.
I answered it absentmindedly.

"Hey, Sileas!"

My forehead knotted and quickly checked the caller, it's unregistered.

"Hello, who's this?"

"This is Patch, I just boarded in the Philippines today and will have my holiday
with Villareals. Tito Dence gave me your number, where are you planning to stay
here? Sa Laguna ba or Makati?"

My heart raced excitedly. Si Patch! Nilingon ko si Arki, he's fast asleep beside
me. Huminga ako ng malalim at tumingin sa labas ng bintana.

"I don't know yet, Patch. I'll surely inform you when it's already sure."

"Oh my, God! Okay, okay! Who's with you?"

"I'm with Arki and Troilus, sinundo nila ako sa airport."

"Alright, see you soon! I miss you!"

"I miss you, too."

Okay, my holidays will be fun. I'm so sure!

#UM1
#UM1

My mother is Gabbana Miramontes-Placido and Prudence Villareal is my biological

father, I knew him completely when I was six years old where I got to understand my
situation in between my separated parents. Walong taon ako noong nagkasundo sila
tungkol sa akin, bata ako noon kaya wala akong maintindihan masyado at kung saan
lang ako dalhin ay doon ako.

I was originally with Miramontes but I love how Papa handles my life with him,
kahit kaming dalawa lang noon ay masaya ako kapag kasama siya at pinapasyal niya
ako kung saan-saan. I feel the freedom around him but I can't deny the fact that I
grew up primly with Mommy's household. Parehas namang may benefits pero mas lamang
ang pamumuhay ko kasama ang mga Miramontes kaysa sa mga Villareal.

Papa let them have me anywhere and he was just following us, sa America ako lumaki
at doon din naglagi ng ilang taon si Papa para sa akin. Nang lumipat kami sa Davao
ay umuuwi na rin siya ng Pilipinas para sa akin kahit may pamilya na sa ibang
bansa. That's the routine until now, tiring but I'm used to it.

We headed to Forbes Park that afternoon, hindi kalayuan ang biyahe kaya nakarating
agad. Ang akala ko ay sa Laguna kami didiretso pero mukhang nasa Manila ang mga
Villareal ngayon. Dalawang lugar lang naman ang pinaglalagian nila, kung hindi sa
Laguna ay dito sa Maynila.

Though, Papa was always out of the country since then but now—I think he settled in
Makati with his family; Tita Fili Santorida-Villareal and Philo, my younger
brother. He's just eleven.

Tita Fili is a nice woman and I like her, I remember when Papa introduced her to me
when I was seven and she was pregnant with Philo that time. She always tells me a
story until I fall asleep, cooks my favorite dishes and takes care of me every
weekends. She accepted me like her own and she loves Papa, that's the most
important for me.

Bumaba kami ng sasakyan, I scanned the place slowly. The house was at the dead end,
Arki carried my luggage.

"This is Tito Dence' new property here, we're just blocks away," he informed as he
closed the back door.

"Dito na rin pala kayo?"

"Nope, parents are just here every holidays or whenever they wanna visit us but
they're still living in Laguna. Si Tita Lib lang ang dito talaga."

And Papa just moved in this year. Kung ganoon, sa Laguna pa rin talaga ang
karamihan sa Villareal hanggang ngayon.

I nodded. "Dito kayo nag-aaral?"

"Ako, oo. I just tried R.U. but I think I'll go back to Brentdale again, I don't
know. I'm still thinking about it." He chuckled.

"Si Troi?" nilingon ko si Troi sa gilid ni Arki, I just noticed that he's a bit
taller than Arki now but Arki's bulkier.

Troi looks like Tito Primiel a lot, naalala ko pa noong una ko silang makilala ay
inakala kong iyon ang ama niya at hindi si Tito Elos. Lalo ngayon na binatang-
binata na siya, pati tindig ay nakuha. He got a pair of lively dark eyes, it looks
always sleepy—thick on fleek natural brows, prominent nose and red lips. His a bit
longer hair was slick back neatly, that face should be on a billboard.

"I'm homeschooled," Troi answered frigidly as if he knows I'm looking at him.

Napanguso ako. I wonder why is he still blind? Hindi pala siya nagpatransplant?

"Okay... how are you, Troi? And your family?"

"I'm fine, my parents are also good in Laguna." He shrugs and smiles really little.
"It's nice that you're here again."

I smiled. "Thank you! I'm actually excited to see you all, I miss being with you!"

Arki laughed and put his arm on my shoulder to hug me.

"We missed you, too. Others will be here, probably tomorrow. Tita Pate will throw a
mini party for Patch. By the way, do you drink now?"

Natawa ako at umiling. I don't drink and I won't, I promised Mommy that.

"Oh, come on! You're with us, not with your strict Miramontes clan! It will be
fun!"

"Sorry, hindi talaga ako umiinom pero makikisama naman ako!" giit ko.

I took a glance at Jace, he was busy with his cell phone while walking simply. The
famous Jace Hontiveros looks so good and I can't believe he's this reachable, ang
dami kayang may gusto sa kanya at kahit mga baguhang artista ay pangalan niya ang
sinasagot tuwing naiinterview tungkol sa celebrity crush. Although, he doesn't
really act. He's just up for modeling and commercials, nasabi niya iyon sa
interview noon.

I didn't even expect that I heard a lot about him, nahuhukay ko lang ngayong
nakasalamuha siya. He's not really interesting, celebrities aren't attractive for
me. Para sa akin mukha lang ang pinanghahawakan nila.

I inhaled and tore my eyes off him quickly when he lifted his head up with a smirk
on his lips, tinabi niya ang cell phone sa bulsa ng kanyang navy blue na slacks. He
looked formal even in just a white shirt, navy blue slacks and black sneakers. His
black wavy hair was up fashionably, he's always fashionable.
Now I know why he doesn't look like Rekta Hontiveros, hindi pala siya ang ama nito.

Jace looked at us that made me feel guilty for checking him out, simple kong iniwas
ang tingin upang magmukhang walang pake sa kanya kahit sa totoo ay hiyang-hiya na
ako.

"Sad, but who knows? Capriana will surely drag you with them to drink!"

Tumawa na lang ako. Naputol ang pag-uusap namin nang makita ko si Papa, kalalabas
lang ng double doors at malapad ang ngiti sa akin. My eyes widened in excitement
and happiness.

"Papa!" impit kong sigaw, medyo nahihiya pa rin ako sa mga kasama.

He was all smiles as he welcomed me into a tight hug, I hugged him back.

"I missed you so much!" I giggled, my heart ached a bit. I really missed my father,
ang dami kong gustong ikwento sa kanya.

"I missed you, baby girl!" he chuckled. "Sorry, hindi ako ang sumundo sayo. I can't
drive yet because of my injured ankle."

"It's okay, Pa."

"Babawi ako sayo," he said. "Let's go in, maiinitan ka rito at baka magalit ang
Mommy mo. Ayaw no'n na nasisinagan ka ng araw."

Nagtawanan kami. We both went inside their mansion, it's really new and wide. Halos
nasa kahon pa ang karamihan sa mga kagamitan, tanging mga sofa ang nakaayos. Sa
haligi ng enggrandeng hagdanan ay may family painting; Papa, Tita Fili and Philo—
kasing laki rin ng painting na iyon ang litrato namin ni Papa sa tabi, it was a
stolen shot from my eighteenth birthday and we were dancing in the center.

My heart melted and it made me smile. It's really touching. Wala kasi kaming
kumpletong litrato, maybe we can have one soon.

Si Arki lang ang sumunod sa loob kaya nilingon siya ni Papa.

"Aren't you gonna have lunch with us? Si Jace at Troi?"

Arki glanced at his wristwatch and shook his head.

"I can't, Tito."

Kumunot ang noo ni Papa, ngumisi. "Date again? Babe number one or three?"

Nagtawanan sila.

"I don't do dates, I'm still young! Mama's with the Hontiveros and she wants us
there now."

Napatango si Papa.

"Kaya pala napalabas si Jace, huh."

Kumamot sa batok si Arki at ngumisi. "Pinasundo ako ni Tita Em. Sapilitan daw."

"How 'bout Troilus?"

"I don't know what his plan today. Baka maghapon na namang senti sa kwarto niya."

Humalakhak si Papa.

"Alright, then. Inform me about the holiday plans."

"Yes, Tito. I'll ask Mama, she's the organizer of everything." Arki laughed, then
smiled at me. "But what do you wanna do, Pallavi? Maybe we should hear your
suggestions!"

I pouted a bit while thinking. "I don't have much in mind, kayo na lang ang bahala.
Or si Patch! Ask her!"

He rolled his eyes.

"Wala namang ibang sasabihin 'yon, kundi bar hopping! How 'bout the elders?"

Nagtawanan kami. Oo nga, mahilig si Patch magbar! Hindi ko mae-enjoy iyon dahil
inuman, pero bahala na.

Tuluyang nagpaalam si Arki pagtapos ng ilang tuksuhan at pag-uusap, Tita Fili and
Philo were already at the dining area while waiting for us. Tuwang-tuwa akong
makita sila, I kissed and hugged them tightly. We talked a lot about life in U.S.
before they moved in here, habang kumakain ay hindi namin maiwasang mag-usap at
magkatuwaan. We were both excited to talk and bond.

"Do you have a boyfriend already, anak?" Tita Fili asked and giggled.

My cheeks heated and glanced at Papa, he's now pouting and wiggling his brows while
waiting for my answer.

"It's alright, baby. If you have one, I'll be happy to hear that because you should
really enjoy it but never pour everything on it."

"You're so serious, love!" Tita Fili laughed. "Pallavi grew up properly, I'm sure
she can handle a relationship finely!"

Papa sighed. "I know, she can. I just can't help it, I wanna tell her a lot of
advices about relationships because we know how it works and it's not really easy."

I chuckled.

"I'll listen to you, Papa. I don't have a boyfriend yet, by the way! I'm not really
ready for that, I should focus on acads first."

Being a Political Science student isn't really easy. Maraming nagtatangkang lumapit
sa akin pero hindi ko kailanman binigyan ng interes dahil hindi pa naman ako handa
sa isang relasyon, I had a suitor in Davao but Mommy blocked it immediately and
told him to stay away. Simula noon, hindi na ako nagbigay interes sa ganoong bagay.

Humalakhak sila.

"Nyek, huwag ganoon!" Tita said. "Huwag laging ganoon, baby. Mahirap iyan, masakit
sa ulo. Dapat mag-enjoy ka rin."

Papa was looking at me adorably, I got his pair of snobbish eyes that looked
uncaring. He's still handsome, we don't look a like much but at least we have the
same eyes. Sabi kasi ng lahat, si Mommy talaga ang kamukha ko.
"That's right! Don't always give the credits to your mother's laments. Studying has
no age. If you failed once, you can try it again. I'm here to support everything
you want."

I smiled, my heart was melting and I feel so loved here. Kabaliktaran ng mga
Miramontes ang lahat dito, I love the way how they're telling me to chill out and
just try again when I failed while Mommy's drowning me to study hard and never be a
failure.

Naalala ko tuloy ang parating sinasabi ni Mommy sa akin, she's the only failure in
the family and she doesn't want me follow her stone because everyone will judge me
with just one mistake.

The day went smoothly and happily, hindi mabura ang ngiti sa labi ko kahit nasa
kuwarto na ako at nag-aayos ng mga gamit.

"Jace is a nice man!" Tita Fili said.

I was helping her to take the plates on the sink, ayaw man niya akong pakilusin ay
nagkusa na ako dahil ayaw kong maging pabigat.

Nangunot ang noo ko at natawa.

"He is?"

"Yes, he's nice and handsome. Maloko nga lang magsalita 'tsaka sikat na binata."
She pouted. "Pero marami ka pa namang makikilala, maraming kaibigan sila Arki at
hindi imposibleng maligawan ka. Naku! Gagawa na naman ng protection squad iyang mga
Villareal."

I smiled. "Well, it's not bad to be friends with them. Ayaw ko pa rin namang
magboyfriend, Tita!"

Tinitigan niya ako at nginitian saka tumango. "Ang ganda mo talaga, kamukha mo si
Gabbana. You're just the softer version but you got Dence' eyes, parang kay Philo.
Aakalaing suplada!"

The smile on my lips fell down when my phone rang, it's Mommy. I sighed and
answered it, tumayo ako at tumungo sa balkonahe ng kuwarto upang makalanghap ng
hangin. The wind blew my hair, I tucked it behind my ear.

"Hi, Mom."

"How was your day there? Who fetched you at the airport?" she asked casually.

Napapikit ako.

"Sila Arki, po."

"Who's Arki?"

"That's one of my cousins here and Troilus."

"So your father was so busy with his family that he didn't even free the time for
you, huh? I don't know why you're pushing yourself there—"

"Mommy, it's not like that. Papa's ankle was injured, he can't drive yet. Besides,
I'm safe."
She sighed sharply. "Just think about your situation, Sileas. I want you to feel
comfortable anywhere."

"Thanks, Mom."

"Good night, don't stay up late. I know what kind of kids are there, they're always
up to party."

"Good night, Mom."

I ended the call and exhaled heavily, I don't like Mom's view about the family here
because they're not really that bad. She's just too paranoid and judgemental, I
knew her as a very strict mother and sometimes she's going overboard as if
everything and everyone around me will change me into a bad daughter. I can't
understand her.

Pumasok ako ulit sa kuwarto at naligo bago makatulog. Next morning came, Tita Fili
called me to be ready because we're going out for brunch. I just took a brisk
shower, I wore a simple baby pink dress and a pair of flat shoes. I fixed my hair
into a messy bun, I only put a matte red tint and I went downstairs.

"Hey, Philo!" bati ko sa kapatid pagpasok ng sasakyan.

Tita Fili is the driver today, Papa was in the front seat. They were talking about
business and plans for Christmas.

"Hey..." Philo greeted back lazily, he looked nerd with his thick reading glasses.

"Hey, Philo!" puna ni Tita Fili. "You should greet your sister cheerfully, ikaw na
bata ka! Ang aga-aga, parang Lolo!"

"That's how I greet, Mommy!" Philo said irritably. "Stop teasing me!"

Tita laughed. "Weh? You're just idolizing Troilus!"

"Why not? He's the coolest Kuya!"

Natawa ako, seriously? Idol niya pala si Troi, siguro dahil parang walang pakealam
sa paligid at hindi nakikisali sa kalokohan nila Arki. Papa and Tita teased him
more.

I was so surprised when I saw Tita Patience with her family, naroon din sina Lola
at Lolo sa restaurant na pagkakainan namin. Tumili si Patch nang makita ako at agad
akong dinamba ng yakap, puro batian ang nangyari sa unang oras namin doon.

Hindi naubusan ng kuwento si Patch habang kumakain kami, ngayon lang pala ulit siya
nakabalik ng Pilipinas. She had been busy studying in Germany, kaya pala nawalan
talaga siya ng oras sa social media at wala ring communication sa ibang pinsan
namin.

"Also, I just broke up with my long time boyfriend!"

My lips parted.

"Huh!?" gulat na sambit ni Tita Patience.

Patch looked at us and smiled cheekily.

"What? I broke up with him, Mom!"

"Did he cheat on you?" tanong agad ni Tito Clayven, her Dad.

"Uhm, nope? He won't do that to me, I just broke up with him because I don't wanna
update him from time to time!"

Tita Fili and Tita Patience gasped.

"Seriously?" napatanong na lamang ako. I guess, she's just bluffing.

She looked at me and laughed.

"Yes, seriously! I don't want to be busy updating my boyfriend, duh! I wanna enjoy
our moment here! We'll get back together after holidays, anyway!"

Okay... that's weird. Ang tagal na nilang dalawa, e. Nasayang lang dahil sa ayaw
niyang may ina-update siya habang nagsasaya sa Pilipinas? Ganoon ba kadaling
makipaghiwalay?

"Don't get me wrong, fam. I love Heidden but sometimes, we need a break. I'm not a
playgirl nor whatever!" Patch said and looked at Tita Pate. "Come on, Mommy!
Chill!"

"Heidden? Family name?" Papa asked.

Tito Clayven sighed and tsked before he looked at Papa.

"Estrevillo."

Humalakhak si Papa at nagbiro.

"Nice choice, pamangkin."

Patch winked knowingly.

"I know right, Tito!"

Napakurap-kurap ako, I don't even know who are they talking about now. Patch is
really beautiful, she has a choice. But I don't like what she did, how could she do
that? It probably hurt that Heidden.
#UM2
#UM2

After our family brunch in Shangri-la, Patch dragged me to walk around and I
couldn't say no. Pinaalam niya agad ako kay Papa at inuto-uto niya si Tita Pate
para pumayag na iwanan kaming dalawa sa mall, just like that—she got her yes.

Sobrang kulit ni Patch, hindi pa man kami nagkakasama ng halos isang araw ay marami
na akong narinig na kuwento tungkol sa buhay niya. I was really interested to hear
it because I wanna know how different our lives had been for years.

"Actually, Heidden and I are really LDR because you know—he's older than me and
he's running their company in Cebu."

"But weren't you afraid to break your relationship just like that?" I asked
curiously.

Iyong pakikipaghiwalay niya sa nobyo ang napag-usapan naming dalawa habang

naglalakad. I wanna learn about it, why is it so easy for her? I don't know much
about relationships but I know that it shouldn't be that way.

Tumawa siya.

"Why would I? God, ang daming lalaki na puwedeng maging boyfriend diyan!"

"No, you don't get it." I shook my head. "I mean, having a relationship means you
love each other—and you broke up with him unreasonably, Patch. What do you think
he'll feel about it?"

"Believe me, Pal. We'll get back together after New Year! O baka hindi nga New
Year, e. Sa tingin ko hahanapin na naman ako noon dito, susuyurin ang mundo para
magkaayos kami! Parang aso kaya 'yon!"

Ngumiwi ako. "Aso talaga?"

I can't see myself hurting a man like that but maybe Patch is just too confident
about her ex boyfriend. She thinks that he'll just run after her even how mean she
is.

"Yes, I love that kind of dog!" she pouted and made a sad sound. "I kinda miss him
now, it's been a week since I broke up with him and changed my number. I
deactivated my social media accounts, too, just to make sure."

Oh my goodness, she's so unbelievable.

"Paano kung hindi ka niya hanapin at hayaan ka na lang? Mahal mo pala siya. That
would be your loss." Naiiling kong sinabi.

"Tss, ang nega mo naman mag-isip! Calm down and wait for it! I trust myself, I'm
unforgettable! Mind you, I am his first love and that... never dies!"

I just flinched.

Hay naku, natatawa pa talaga siya sa pinagsasabi niya habang hindi ako makapaniwala
sa mga naririnig.

Ganoon ba ang mga lalaki? Naghahabol na parang aso? Whatever she says, it's really
unacceptable. Even how much he loves her, he'd be hurt to hear that unreasonable
break up. Sino ba namang sisira ng long time relationship dahil lang ayaw niyang
mag-update sa nobyo?

Patch and I went to a boutique to check some clothes, nagkukuwentuhan kami habang
namimili. Dito yata kami magkakasundo ni Patch, parehas kaming maluho kahit hindi
naman kailangan. I just really enjoy shopping, I love makeups and sneakers even
though I don't use makeup a lot. Tuwing may okasyon lang o maisipan ko.

Halos napuntahan namin ang lahat ng madaanang boutique at bawat labas ay may dalang
paperbags. I bought a lot of things, for sneakers and makeup collection. Nangagalay
na ang mga braso ko sa dalahin, we decided to stop for a while.

"Grabe, nakakapagod! I think we should call someone to fetch us? Ang dami nating
dala at mabibigat!" lumakad si Patch papasok sa isang coffee shop.

I followed her, nilapag ko ang mga paperbags sa sahig at naupo habang si Patch ay
nanatiling nakatayo at nakatanaw sa stall.

"Grab na lang?" I suggested.

She pouted. "I don't trust it. Do you have Arki's number?"

"Uh, oo. Pero baka busy."

Kay Arki lang ang nakasave na numero sa cell phone ko. I haven't met the others
yet, marahil ay sa mga susunod pang araw.

"Try mo nga tawagan, please. Ayaw ko magtaxi or grab, masesermonan ako ni Daddy."

I nodded and tried to call Arki, ilang sandali pa akong naghintay sa sagot noon.
Patch walked towards the counter to order, kinagat ko ang ibabang labi at tiningnan
ang mga pinamili sa lapag. I smiled, it makes me happy.

"Hey, Sileas..." Arki finally answered the call.

Huminga ako ng malalim, nakaramdam ng hiya pero nandito na ito. I'll just ask a
favor, mas nahihiya naman kasi ako kay Tita Fili kung iistorbohin pa namin. Hindi
ko alam na ayaw ni Patch magtaxi.

"Arki, are you busy?"

"Not really, why?"

"I'm with Patch, nasa Shang kami at ayaw kasi ni Patch magtaxi. Wala akong
matawagan..." I trailed off shyly.

He chuckled sleepily. "I'm in Laguna right now, I'm sorry if I won't be able to get
you there but I'll call someone to fetch you."

I gasped.

"Huwag na, Arki. Magsasabi na lang ako kay Papa. Sorry sa istorbo."

"You sure? Tito Prudence can't drive yet."

"Ayos lang, naroon naman si Tita Fili. Thank you, Arki!"

"Alright, ingat kayo."

I ended the call and looked at Patch, she's now talking with someone while holding
a tray and heading back to our table. It's a tall guy with semi bald faded haircut,
wearing a sky blue shirt and a denim rugged jeans. He was smirking and Patch looked
irritated, pinanood ko sila habang papalapit.

"Just leave me alone and keep your mouth shut, Chancent!"

"So you broke up with Heid to get a coffee in the Philippines, huh?" he said
playfully.

Patch rolled her eyes.

"Funny! Ang daming coffee shop sa New York! Can't accept that you guys are
breakable? Man up, boy! Estrevillos aren't that hard to break up with!"

The guy laughed. "Ouch."

Nilapag ni Patch ang tray sa lamesa namin at sumimsim agad sa kanyang frappe bago
ako binalingan, tinulak niya sa dibdib iyong kasama niya.
"Leave now, Estrevillo! Patahanin mo na lang ang pinsan mo kaysa manggulo sa akin!"
she spat and turned to me again. "Natawagan mo na si Arki?"

I glanced at the man, he looked at me back and puckered his lips. I guess he's
older than us, maybe same age as Arki.

"Nasa Laguna siya," sagot ko kay Patch habang kunot ang noo.

Estrevillo? Her ex?

She closed her eyes irritably, her extended lashes defined more. Patch looks like a
western girl, she wears makeup like them—far from what she looked like when we were
younger but she's always beautiful.

Sumapo siya sa noo na tila problemado at tinaliman ng tingin iyong lalaki na

nakasulyap sa akin ngayon, I feel intimidated but I am collected in times like
this. I shouldn't be intimidated by anyone, they should be.

"Is he your ex, Patch?" I asked formally, Estrevillo raw? So this is him?

Naubo agad iyong lalaki at halos kagalitan ni Patch ang tanong ko, her eyes flared.

"No way in hell! My gosh! Why would you think that? Mukha ba kaming bagay! Yuck!"

That's too insulting.

"That's Heidden's fuck boy cousin!" dagdag ni Patch at lingon sa akin. "So what are
we gonna do now? How 'bout Bhaltair? Calli? Any available driver?"

Magaspang na natawa ang lalaki kaya muli akong sumulyap sa kanya.

"I'm not a driver but available, Patch. Where are you up to?" he asked nicely.

His hairstyle gave him more angst and it's really attractive, he looked neat in a
badboy demeanor. His eyes were darkly expressive and tantalizing, he has a set of
deep lids and thick brows above that made him seems like always glaring, high
pointed nose and a pair of good lips with a small lip ring on the left side of
bottom lip.

Our eyes met unintentionally, he smiled slightly but I snobbed it. Walang
ekspresyon kong iniwas ang tingin para bumaling kay Patch.

Patch glared at him but she suddenly smirked as if she saw a bulb above her head.

"Alright, drive us to Forbes Park!" Patch stood up and pulled me. "Dalhin mo rin
ang mga pinamili namin!"

Chancent guy flinched. "Nope, I'll drive you home but I'm not a P.A. you have hands
to carry them."

Uminit ang pisngi ko dahil natamaan din ako, I crouched to carry my paperbags.
Naunang maglakad iyong Chancent at iniwanan kami, Patch groaned in irritation but
she followed me and carried her bags, too—puro dakdak siya habang palabas kami ng
coffee shop.

"What a worthless man, Heidden's not like that. He never let me carry my things."

"And that's not Heidden, right," paalala ko sa kanya at bahagyang natawa.

Umirap siya. "Siya lang ang hindi gentleman sa kanila!"

Chancent was shaking his head slightly as he turned around and walked towards us,
sinadya ni Patch iparinig sa kanya iyon kaya siguro nakaramdam ng guilt.

"Okay, I'll handle these."

I was surprised when he took my bags, sinunod niya ang mga bitbit ni Patch at
muling naunang maglakad sa amin.

I took a deep breath and cleared my throat, I straightened up. Inayos ko ang buhok
habang nakasunod kami ni Patch.

"Finally! He got some balls!"

He glared at her and tsked.

Iritado pa ring bumubulong-bulong si Patch habang naglalakad na kami sa parking at

nakasunod kay Chancent Estrevillo, kahit marami ang bitbit ay hindi naman siya
nahihirapan.

So, he is Heidden's cousin? Bakit parang galit si Patch sa kanya? He looked cocky
but he seems nice. He wouldn't insist to take us home if he doesn't care at all.

Hinatid niya kami sa bahay at tinulungan pang magpasok ng mga paperbags hanggang sa
porch area. Kalaunan din namang nawala ang iritasyon ni Patch pero hindi siya
nagpasalamat ni isang kusing.

"I'll go now, thank you for the ride." He chuckled sarcastically.

My face heated timidly. "Thank you, uh..."

I just want to say it, nag-effort siyang maghatid sa amin at tumulong. Hindi naman
kawalan ang pagpapasalamat.

His eyes lit up, marahan niyang pinunas ang palad sa kanyang pants bago naglahad ng
kamay sa akin.

My brow arched up automatically.

"Chancent Estrevillo, by the way." His lips sided. "And you are..."

I took his hand and it felt a bit awkward. "Sileas Villareal."

Binawi ko ang kamay pagkasabi ng pangalan at ngumisi siya.

"Oh, so you're cousins?"

Patch made a face. "Obviously, dumb! You can't flirt with her!"

"I'm not talking to you." He clicked his tongue out teasingly.

Hinampas siya ni Patch at tumatawa lang siya, marahan kong kinuha ang mga paperbags
sa lapag. Habang tumatawa siya at sinasangga ang mga hampas ni Patch ay sumulyap
ulit siya sa akin at ngumiti. I blinked and just smiled back before leaving them.

They looked close.

Napabuga ako ng hininga nang makapasok, I can hear some laughters and voices from
the dining area. It's already past lunch, hindi pa naman ako nagugutom at pagod
lang sa kakalakad.

I closed my eyes for a bit and started putting the paperbags on the couch,
nakakapagod ang araw namin ni Patch. Medyo masakit din ang ang mga paa ko, pero
masaya namang may mga nabili akong bagong kagamitan.

I looked around the mansion and realized how much I spent today.

I should tell Mommy about this, she doesn't really care about my expenses but I
wanna let her know. My parents spoiled with money and they're giving me everything
in just a one snap, maybe because they couldn't give me a complete family. Kahit sa
litrato lang, wala.

It was a light day for us, sa sumunod na araw ay tinanghali ako ng gising at hindi
ako mapakali dahil sa oras ng gising ko. Hindi kasi iyon puwede kay Mommy,
nakakahiya na ganoon ako rito. I usually wake up at eight in the morning and it's
already ten now!

Ano na lang ang iisipin ni Tita Fili?

I took a quick shower and went downstairs after my morning routine, maingat akong
bumaba dahil sa hiya lalo pa nang marinig ko ang ingay ng mga bisita mula sa
tanggapan.

"Let's just go out of town, I wanna swim badly and get tanned!"

"Palagi na lang outing!" reklamo ni Arki.

Okay, so... he's back.

"I want that, too!" Patch was giggling soundly.

"Hindi pa naman tayo nakakapunta sa Cebu!"

"Oh, no way! Huwag sa Cebu!" tanggi ni Patch.

"Cebu's a good choice! I haven't been there!"

Huminga ako ng malalim at sinilip ang tanggapan habang nakatago pa rin. Una kong
nakita si Patch na nakarobang pula, kausap si Capriana at Diamante na pare-parehong
tuwa sa kanilang pinaplano—naroon din sila Arki at Troi. Arki was flinching while
listening to the girls' plan while Troi was closed eyes, sipping on a Chuckie.

"Oh my, God! I'm so excited!"

"Ako rin, nasaan na ba iyang si Pallavi? We should hear suggestions from her, too.
Baka hindi siya mahilig sa outing."

"She'll get up, baka napagod kahapon."

"Where did you go?"

"We went shopping yesterday! I bought clothes 'coz I didn't bring much here. Hindi
rin ako nag-uulit ng suot."

I inhaled deeply. Hindi naman ako mahiyain pero ngayon ay nahihiya ako, heto kasi
ang unang pagkikita namin ulit sa lumipas na taon. Marami nang nagbago roon at
hindi ko sila kilalang lubusan ngayon. Buti pa si Patch, hindi nag s-struggle sa
pakikisama.

"Why are you hiding here?"

Halos mapatalon ako sa gulat nang may magsalita sa likuran ko, he even took a
glance of my view on where I was hiding. Ngumuso si Bhaltair at kunot noong
tiningnan ako.

"Bhaltie," I gasped slowly.

He still looks the same, a gentle and carefree one.

He laughed a bit. "Are you playing tagu-taguan here?"

"Hindi!" iling ko.

He held my shoulder and dragged me out, suminghap ako at walang nagawa nang akayin
niya ako patungo sa sala.

"I seriously missed you, glad you're present here!" he said while dragging me.

I took a deep breath and calmed my inner self, I walked with him normally until we
reached the living area.

"I missed you too, Bhaltie," I said.

He nodded and smiled, tuluyan akong nakita nila Capriana at mabilis lumapit para
bumeso sa akin at yumakap. They sound really excited and pure while telling how
much they missed me.

"Sana all tumangkad!" Capriana said. "You were maliit than me a year ago!"

"They have a lot of stairs, she was jumping every year!" halakhak ni Patch.

"Ang dami namang nagbago! Kamukha mo na talaga si Gabbana Placido. My gold!"

Capriana said.

"She looks like Tito Dence!" giit ni Diamante sabay ngiti. "Still, Villareal!"

"Of course that's her Mum, nagreklamo ba siya na kamukha mo si Tita Inocencia?"

"Patch, don't! Just don't..." Capriana was laughing while shaking her head. "Never
call her that or she'll pinch your singit!"

Humalakhak si Bhaltie at Arki.

"Yeah, she already did that to me!" Arki intervened.

Tawanan lang ang ginawa namin sa ilang minutong iyon, I was in a cloud nine while
talking and laughing with them about some things until Tita Fili called us for
lunch. Naroon din pala ang mga magulang nila at nagkakatuwaan sa back yard, we had
our lunch there together and it was the best lunch I've had with Villareals because
it felt once in a year. Although, hindi pa kumpleto ang lahat pero marami na kami.

I really love the vibe with them because it feels free and pure, we were talking in
the middle of the lunch while laughing and we don't do that in Miramontes' dining
table—they're usually quiet and really proper.
I hope, I can have more time here.

Capriana and Diamante decided to stay for the night. Sa gazebo kami nagpapalipas ng
oras at hindi na nakisama ang mga lalaki dahil may sariling lakad.

I inhaled fresh air and looked at them while listening.

"Nasaan pala si Brillante?" Patch asked.

"Kasabay nila Daddy bukas, hindi naman nakikisama sa kasiyahan iyon. She likes to
baby sit our brother. I don't know, maybe it's a training." Tawa ni Diamante.

Diamante's get up was always fashionable as Capriana but they're different in terms
of fashion sense. Capriana's always in a sexy outfit wearing sneakers while Dia is
a dress girl with high heels, both fine. And I really like her spiral curls! It's
until her hips now.

"Does she have a boyfriend?" takang tanong ni Patch.

"Ewan ko, masikreto iyon. She doesn't really share secrets, we're not close."

"She's so introvert and silent!" Capriana pouted. "And masungit. I don't think
she'll get a boyfriend inside the house!"

"She's so pretty, nakikita ko siya sa IG stories ni Arki parati!"

"Oo, madalas pang-asar! Camera shy 'yun, e!"

I chuckled. Iyong si Brillante ang hindi ko nakausap kahit noon, bata pa lang kasi
ay hindi na siya nakikisama sa paglalaro at may sariling mundo. She's a female
version of Troi. Though, I understand Troi's situation—he's blind, he couldn't
really enjoy everything.

"I'm so bored!" Capriana stretched her hands up and yawned.

Ako rin, pero inaantok lang ako.

Dia grinned evilly.

"Are we up to night out? Anyone?"

Patch' eyes widened and screamed.

"Yes! Let's go out tonight!"

Napakurap-kurap ako habang nakikinig lang, tumango na rin si Capriana at ako ang
binalingan nilang tatlo. Patch was already giggling while shaking my wrist.

"Tara na, Pal! Minsan lang 'to!"

I sighed and shook my head.

"I don't drink, kayo na lang."

"Boring!" sabay na irap at singhap ni Dia at Capriana.

"Yeah, boring!" dagdag ni Patch. "Come on! Masaya iyon!"

"Hindi talaga ako umiinom, bawal din ako magbar."

Mommy doesn't like it, iyong mga college friends ko nga na party people ay hindi
niya tanggap. Parati niya akong pinapaalalahanan na huwag sasama sa mga iyon kapag
lumalabas. I never liked the idea, anyway. I don't wanna go out and drink, ayaw
kong pumangit ang imahe ko.

Napasinghap ako nang hilahin nila akong tatlo at halos buhatin pa.

"She looks fine, we can take her out without approval!" tawa ni Capriana.

My eyes widened and bolted.

"You can go out without me!"

Tawa lang ang sinagot nila sa akin at hinila na ako nang tuluyan, Dia made some
call about fetching us. I feel helpless, sinusumbatan pa ako ni Patch habang
hinihila. I was just gasping in disbelief.

"This is harassment!" I hissed.

They laughed more.

"Oh, scary, future lawyer!"

I gritted my teeth. Shit, seriously.

#UM3
#UM3

I was never a perfect daughter, I am not and will never be.

I've done a lot of mistakes, I had lower shameful grades and I used to have friends
that were far from Mommy's likes. I accepted suitors but was hiding it from
everyone to protect my image as a good daughter—a Miramontes, rather.

But it's true that I have never been into crowded places, sorrounded with dancing
and loud people to party. Hindi ko alam kung bakit parang takot si Mommy na
makasama ko ang mga Villareal na may ganoong lifestyle.

Siguro...

"Come on, Pallavi! Just try it!" halos sigawan ako ni Patch habang nakatawa at
pinipilit sa akin ang inuming sila mismo ang nagtimpla.

I'm not sure, it was a mixed of soda and liquor.

Umiling ako. "No, thanks."

They groaned. Apat pa rin kami at medyo naiilang na ako sa bar na pinuntahan namin,
hindi ako sanay sa maingay na lugar at maraming nagsasayawan. Marami ring
nagsisigarilyo at tila wala na sa sarili ang karamihan sa table na nakikita. So,
this is how it feels like to be in a bar for the first time. May mga pinsan ako sa
mother's side pero kailanman ay walang nagyaya sa akin ng ganito.

I kinda hate that they forced me to get along with them in this place, hindi yata
nila ako naintindihan. Kung hindi lang sa pakikisama ay baka nagkasagutan na kami.
Nasa tamang pag-iisip pa naman ako at ayaw kong maging awkward ang holidays ko
kasama sila.

"You're so boring, we won't leave you behind!"

"Kami ang kasama mo, parang iba naman 'to!" sumbat ni Capriana.

Dia winked and raised her glass. "Loosen up! Hindi ka namin pababayaan kahit anong
mangyari, gusto ka lang namin makainuman."

My chest constricted, huminga ako ng malalim at pinakalma ang inis na nararamdaman

dahil wala ito sa usapan namin ni Mommy.

Okay, Sileas... just one.

I took the glass from Patch and tossed with them.

"Just one, okay?" I said.

Wala akong nakuhang sagot kundi hagikgik at tawa. I took a deep breath and tasted
the drink, it wasn't really bad. It actually doesn't taste alcohol, parang coke
lang kaya inisang lagok ko iyon upang matapos na.

"'Di ba? Wala naman lasa! Coke lang!" Dia said.

I nodded and smiled. "Yeah."

The neon strobe lights were dancing around the dark boisterous place, the girls
cheered me up and Capriana poured a drink in my glass again. Uminom na rin sila,
halatang sanay sila sa ganito kaingay at sikip na lugar.

Siguro kung sa puder ni Papa ako naging madalas, baka kinasanayan ko rin ang ganito
kaso iba talaga ang mundo na kinalakihan ko. Mas disente at pormal.

"Kumusta pala ang course mo? Nakakapressure bang isipin na magl-law ka?"

It made me think, ngumiti ako upang hindi magmukhang naguguluhan sa isasagot dahil
ang totoo ay pressured talaga ako sa kahit anong aspeto. Hindi ako matalino, e. Ni
hindi ko alam kung kakayanin kong maging lawyer.

"Hindi naman," I lied. I wanna be like them, they looked so calm and happy without
minding acads.

"Ay, sana all matalino!" halakhak ni Capriana.

Sana nga...

"Gusto ko rin mag-law kaso ayaw kong tumanda ng maaga! Ang daming Law students na
napapanot dahil sa stress!" ani Diamante.

Patch was chewing a bubble gum. "Yes! Sama mo pa Med students!"

"My gold, right! Iyong mga Saavedra lang yata ang pinakagwapong law at med students
na nakita ko!"

"Saavedra?" si Patch. "Sino sa kanila? May tropa sila Heid doon, e!"

"Si Cezary! Siya iyong usapan sa university nila kailan lang dahil itinama si
Attorney Dantes. E, ayaw magpatalo ni prof na naghanap pa ng proof. Napahiya tuloy
sa klase!" kuwento ni Dia.

"Really?"
"Yes, real na real! Tawang-tawa si Arki habang kinukuwento 'yon! Tsismoso!"

"Hirap kasi sa mga prof, feeling nila palagi silang tama! Nasampolan tuloy ng
freshman!"

Huminga ako ng malalim, nanunuyo ang lalamunan. Wala namang juice sa lamesa at
ibang inumin kaya wala akong choice, lasang coke lang naman ang iniinom kaya hindi
siguro masama.

I simply drank the shot again while listening to them.

Hindi ko nabilang kung ilang beses akong nakainom sa dumaan pang mga oras habang
nagiging masaya at magaan ang kuwentuhan namin, I suddenly felt light by the time.
They were talking about random stuff until it rounded to us one by one.

"Hindi ka pa nagkakaboyfriend, 'di ba?" Patch asked.

"Hindi pa."

Tumawa sila Capriana.

"Ano iyon, study first? Uso pa pala!"

"Kaya nga!"

"I'm not yet ready for that, it can wait!" agap ko, I took the fork and had a taste
of sisig on our table.

"But you didn't experience to explore! Secret lang pero seventeen pa lang ako noong
magkaroon ng first boyfriend, hindi ko nagustuhan kaya nakipagbreak ako at nagtry
ulit!" Dia giggled.

"So hindi ka na virgin?" Patch asked bluntly.

"I'm twenty one!"

"Hindi naman 'yon ang tanong!" tawa ko.

She rolled her eyes and flinched.

"Virgin, I promised Mommy and Daddy that there won't be monkey business yet!"

Capriana thumbs up while nodding.

"That's what you call, exploring!"

Patch just laughed. Bumungisngis ako at pinikit ang mga mata, I can feel my swirly
stomach and I also want to pee. Tumayo ako at nagpaalam na magbabanyo.

"Cr lang."

Tumayo rin si Patch, she looked awkward now. Kanina ko pa napapansin na para siyang
balisa pero nakakangiti pa rin naman.

"Ako rin!"

Capriana and Dia nodded while laughing, they're so busy with their topic.

"Sure, bilisan n'yo lang at ingat diyan!" ani Capriana.

Patch was slightly dancing with the loud music while we're heading to the comfort
room. Tatawa-tawa lang akong inaakay siya, medyo blurry na ang mga mata ko at
mabigat pero kaya pa naman.

"Are you okay?" I walked straightly into the cubicle, si Patch ay naiwan sa labas
upang magretouch ng makeup niya.

"Oo naman! Gusto ko lang talaga magretouch, I feel haggard!"

Kumuha ako ng tissue para punasan ang toilet bago umihi, it's relieving.

"I wanna do your face, Pal!" ani Patch mula sa labas.

Ngumuso ako at tumayo pero medyo na-out balance ako kaya huminga ako ng malalim, I
carefully put down the toilet cover to sit there. Marahan kong inalog ang ulo ko at
pansamantalang pumangalumbaba roon upang pakalmahin ang maalon na paningin, I
closed my eyes while inhaling and exhaling quietly.

Hindi ako makapaniwala na may epekto na ang lasang coke na iyon. Well, I lasted for
hours until I felt swirly.

Napangiti ako, I feel happy and free tonight. It's a first time but I feel like
doing this again with them. Hindi naman siguro malalaman ni Mommy. Also, I'm
already eighteen and legal. I can do whatever I want without informing her. Tama
sila Capriana, I shouldn't deprive myself of the things would make me happy. Hindi
naman dapat nalalaman ni Mommy at siya ang may kontrol.

This is my life.

I heard the click of the door from the outside, may mga pumasok siguro. Nakapikit
lamang ako at hinihintay ang kalmanteng pakiramdam.

"What are you doing here?" kalmadong boses ni Patch ang narinig ko sa labas,
tumunog pa ang labi niya na tila dinidepina ang lipstick.

Kakilala niya? Well, not impossible. She's friendly and I guess she has a wide
circle of friends anywhere.

Huminga ako ng malalim at tumayo, I flashed the toilet and went out. Kahit hilo ay
gulat ako nang makita ang isang lalaki na matalim ang tingin kay Patch habang abala
ito sa pagreretouch ng makeup sa salamin. He's wearing a formal black button down
shirt, black slacks and black leather shoes while holding a dark blue checkered
coat. He has a black long hair, just above his broad shoulders—it was in a half
messy ponytail.

"'Di ba nasa Cebu ka?" pekeng pagtataka na tanong ni Patch sabay tingin sa
repleksyon ng lalaki. "Wow, you look hot, by the way."

Pumikit ang lalaki at nagbuntong-hininga.

"Don't use that on me, Clavel."

Patch pouted. "But what's broken is already broken, Heidden. I cut your chain,
you're not my dog anymore."

Okay, this is awkward. I blinked and stepped out carefully but Heidden glanced at
me on the mirror frigidly that made me feel more awkward.
Patch giggled, mabilis niya akong nalapitan at hinawakan sa braso. "Oh, I'm glad
you came out already. Let's go, Pal!"

"Mag-uusap pa tayo," Heidden said critically and stepped to reach Patch.

Kumunot ang noo ni Patch.

"Really, Heid? Sa CR ng babae? Huwag mo nga ako gawing cheap na ex girlfriend!"

He smirked but his eyes softened when he glanced at me. "Can you give us a minute,
Miss?"

Tumango na lang ako, wala akong balak maging harang sa pag-uusap nila ngayon.
Umiling si Patch sa akin pero tinanggal ko na ang kamay niya sa braso ko, I quickly
went out of the comfort room. Narinig ko pa ang pagpapasalamat ni Heidden bago
tuluyang sumara ang pinto, narinig ko ang iritadong sigaw ni Patch.

Sapo ang noo ko ay nagbuga ako ng hininga at lumakad, my phone vibrated in my

short's pocket. I took it out to read.

Papa:
Are you having fun?

Papa:
Please let me know if you're already feeling dizzy. Ipapasundo ko kayo. Don't reply
if you're fine, I don't wanna spoil your night. Enjoy.

I smiled. I didn't reply, I'm still fine.

Patch:
Hey, meet me at the exit. Let's go out for a while.

Kumunot ang noo ko at sinulyapan sila Capriana sa table, may ilang babae na silang
kasama roon na batid ko ay mga kakilala nila. Huminga ako ng malalim at sinunod ang
sinabi ni Patch, mukhang ayos lang naman silang maiwan muna.

While walking out, I sent a text to inform them. Iwas na iwas ang lakad ko sa
siksikang tao kaya medyo napatagal ako sa paglabas pero namataan ko naman agad sila
Patch, I was stunned for seconds when I saw her puffing a cigarette while Heidden
was just standing beside her—nakatabon na ang coat niya sa balikat ni Patch.
Another puff, Heidden shook his head and took her cigarette to throw it.

I'm kinda disappointed, nagsisigarilyo si Patch? Madalas na nga sa bar ay may

ganyang bisyo pa. Hindi ko tuloy maiwasang isipin na tama si Mommy, marami silang
gawain na hindi mabuti at dahil pinapabayaan lang ay nasanay.

Pero masaya sila sa ginagawa nila, hindi nakakulong sa kamay ng mga magulang. I
wonder how my life would've been if I didn't follow Mommy's rules. Mas masaya kaya
o masama?

I walked towards them and Patch noticed me, she automatically smiled.

"Hey, let's just wait for the car. We'll grab some snack, hindi kasi ako nagdinner
at medyo nagugutom ngayon."

I nodded, she motioned Heidden.

"Anyway, this is Heidden—my ex dog... and Sileas, my cousin," she introduced

brutely.
Umismid si Heidden. "Clarification: her boyfriend. Nice to meet you, Sileas." He
offered a hand and I took it nicely.

What's with the handshakes, Estrevillos?

"Nice to meet you."

Minutes just passed and a silver Fortuner halted in front of us, Heidden opened the
front door for me and I was hesitant at first but I get it—he'll be with Patch at
the back. I pretended neutral and glanced at the driver, nagkatinginan agad kami ni
Chancent Estrevillo.

I hid my surprised reaction and slid in, medyo na-conscious ako dahil parang pasara
na ang mga mata ko sa kabigatan. Namumungay pa, hindi naman siguro ako mukhang adik
o lasing?

"Antok lang," pabulong kong sabi sa sarili.

"Hi," he greeted with a husky chuckle.

Kagaya ni Heidden, pormal din ang kasuotan niya pero mas untidy dahil lukot na ang
button down shirt at nakahiwalay ang tie. His hair doesn't need a stylist, wala rin
ang lip ring niya ngayon.

Tipid akong tumango at sinara ang pinto, narinig ko ulit ang mahina at magaspang
niyang tawa kaya kumunot ang noo ko pero hindi ko na siya sinulyapan ulit.

Anong nakakatawa?

Sumakay na rin sila Patch at Heidden sa likuran bago tuluyang nagmaneho paalis si
Chancent.

"Where are we going?" he asked sarcastically.

Pinikit ko ang mga mata at sinandal ang ulo sa headrest, I opened my eyes a bit and
looked at the dashboard. My face heated when I saw a box of condom, madaling kinuha
ni Chancent iyon at initsa lang sa paanan. I closed my eyes immediately again.

Hindi naman niya napansing napatingin ako roon, 'di ba? Hiya na lang niya ang
nagtulak na alisin iyon sa dashboard.

"Bulaluhan, Chance," tahimik na sabi ni Heidden.

Chancent inhaled and hummed to approve. I can hear Patch' uncertain teases and
Heidden's groan in annoyance. Hagikgik ni Patch ang naririnig ko tuwing inis si
Heidden doon.

"Shut up," he hissed.

"Oh no, you can't just shut me up."

"You're so drunk," muling singhal ni Heidden. "Sinong mga kasama n'yo?"

Patch hummed like a kid, hindi ko napigilang sumulyap sa rearview mirror. She was
crooning like a baby in Heidden's arm—his eyes glanced at the mirror, too. I
quickly diverted my eyes to save face.

Shit, nakakahiya.
"Apat kami."

"Sino ang tanong, hindi ilan."

"Uhm... Capriana, Dia and Sileas."

Chancent chuckled quietly.

It's getting really awkward here, I took a deep breath and just looked in front—
pretending deaf. I felt Chancent's glance that made me glance back, ngumisi siya at
agad nilihis ang sulyap.

"You fine?" he asked in a whisper while driving.

"Mm." I nodded a bit.

"Water?"

Sumulyap ako, nanunuyo man ang lalamunan ay ayaw ko namang makiinom pa. The stop
light turned red. Huminto siya at tumingin, he took the bottled water on his door
and opened it before handing me, kunot noo ko naman iyong tinanggap habang
nakatingin sa kanya.

"Stay hydrated." He chuckled.

Thanks?

"You're welcome. So how was the night?"

Seriously, mind reader?

I sipped on the bottle and shrugged slightly.

"It's crowded but I enjoyed it." Sumimsim ulit ako sa bottled water.

Parang ilang araw akong hindi nakainom ng tubig.

"You like to party a lot?"

"Hindi, first time ko kanina." Sinara ko ang bote at hinawakan na lang iyon sa
aking hita.

The stop light turned green again and he resumes driving, ngumuso siya at tumango.

"Really? Wow, you must be a good girl."

Natawa ako at nailing.

"Not really!"

Hindi nagtagal ang biyaheng iyon at huminto kami sa isang open restaurant na nasa
roadside lamang. There's a gasoline station, fast food and a convenience store
acrossed the road. Bumaba kami roon para tumungo sa Bulaluhan na tinatawag, may
mangilan-ngilang customers pero batid kong dinarayo ito.

Patch inhaled soundly and giggled.

"Oh my gosh, I missed the place! Especially the bulalo!"

Heidden held her waist while walking, napangiti ako. Madali naman pala silang
nagkakaayos, mukhang sanay na si Heidden sa ugali ni Patch at parang walang
nangyaring break up.

Sumabay sa paglalakad ko si Chancent, marahan niyang pinaglalaruan ang susi sa

kanyang kamay at natatawang nakamasid sa dalawang nauuna.

I pouted. "Parang hindi nagbreak."

Napahalakhak siya kaya nilingon ko siya.

"Hindi naman talaga. They're just on and off because of your cousin's mood, Heid's
used to it."

Kumunot ang noo ko.

"Do you like Patch?" I asked out of the blue, I was so curious because they looked
really close last time and now—he sounds like he knew her so well.

Ngumiwi siya at tila nadisgusto.

"Patch is like a younger sister, I like her for Heid."

Napatango ako, he raised a brow and smirked.

"Why did you ask that?"

"Nothing, medyo curious lang ako sa closeness niyo."

I can't believe I'm a light talker tonight. Epekto ba ito ng bar at alak?

"We're really close since then because we're in the same wide circle of friends and
she wasn't that hard to be friends with. Don't you have a close guy friend?"

"I have guy cousins, we're close."

"Nah. I mean, a friend. Not a relative."

I puckered my lips and shook my head. Wala naman talaga, ayaw ni Mommy iyon kaya
kahit sa school ay wala akong tinatanggap na lalaking kaibigan. I'm usually with
girl friends that are under powerful families in Davao. Mommy's choice.

"Uh-huh, that's why."

We settled on a four seater table, Patch and I are in the same row—Heidden and
Chancent were in front of us. They ordered bulalo and a pair of tapsilog for us,
this is the first time I heard the food's name which is fried rice with tapa and
egg.

Si Patch lang ang maingay sa lamesa at kinakausap ako, she was asking me about the
food.

"Masarap, 'di ba?"

"Oo."

"This is our favorite resto here, they cook a lot of delicious dishes but really
affordable!"
I chuckled. Tinuro niya sa akin ang menu at prices ng pagkain, mura nga ang mga
naroon.

"Mabubusog ka na sa biente!"

Tumango-tango si Chancent, si Heidden naman ay nakikinig lang habang kumakain.

"Pakainin mo muna si Sileas, Patch. Hindi mabubusog 'yan sa kakadaldal mo," asar ni
Chancent.

"Epal!"

Nanahimik naman si Patch at pinakain na lamang ako, bumungisngis ako at nagpatuloy

sa kinakain. It was really good, parang masarap pa nga sa mamahaling kinakainan
namin na kakarampot lang.

After eating, we decided to stay for a while to rest and went home at past twelve.
Hinatid kami, nagsabi si Patch kila Capriana habang pauwi kami na mauunang umuwi.
Capriana and Dia will stay at Tita Liberty's place here.

Sa sumunod na araw ay masakit ang ulo kong gumising, I haven't had the chance to
take a bath first before going downstairs because my stomach was killing me in
hunger. Pupungas-pungas akong naglalakad patungo sa tanggapan para makatawid sa
dining area.

"Are you going to Cebu for holidays, too?" that was Arki's voice.

"Yeah."

Tumawa si Arki. "Kaya pala ayaw ni Patch sa Cebu!"

Napamulat ako sa pamilyar na boses, huli na nang matanto kong hindi ako makakaiwas
sa atensyon nila. Kunot noo si Arki na nakatingin at natatawa sa akin, nakahilig
siya sa backrest ng sofa at nakapatong ang isang hita.

"Looks like you enjoyed the night so much!" he said.

I glanced at Heidden who nodded and smiled at me to greet, I cleared my throat and
snobbed it. Hindi ko rin pinansin si Arki at dumiretso sa dining area.

Arki laughed huskily. "Hey! Did you drink a lot?"

"Nope!" sigaw ko.

I almost slapped myself while walking faster into the dining area, binabaan ko ng
tingin ang suot at lalong nahiya dahil hindi ko inasahang may ibang tao ngayon.

Well, at least it's just Heidden?

I gasped and patted my head and flinched.

"Magandang umaga!" Bhaltie greeted me, he was sitting on the counter while eating a
pancake.

Tumungo ako sa kanya at sumampa rin sa isang highchair, he automatically slided his
plate with pancakes in front of me. Kumuha siya ng panibagong tinidor, I smiled and
thanked him before taking a bite.
"How was the girls night out?" he arched a brow while smiling gently.

"Masaya! That was my first time!"

"We were just around, Papa told me to check on you the whole night. Puro babae kasi
kayo at ayaw ni Capriana na makisama kami sa inyo."

Hindi ko alam kung uunahin kong matawa o mamangha na nakakapagsalita na siya ng

diretsong Tagalog, nakakatawa pa rin kasi ang accent niya. It was so constructed
but really slang. Parang makata tuloy na bulol.

I bit my lips and nodded, his forehead creased while looking at me. His chinky eyes
narrowed more, he looks like a mixed of his parents' features. He has a mole on the
left side, near his eye.

"Are you mocking me?"

Natawa ako at umiling. "Hindi!"

"Hindi! Niaasar mo ako!" he chided and pinched my cheeks.

Tawa ako nang tawa at tuluyan siyang inasar, I was copying his accent teasingly.
Natawa lang din naman siya at nailing. Tinuloy ko ang pagkain kalaunan.

"Anyway, Tita Fab already announced the plan for holidays. We're going to Cebu
tomorrow morning, we'll stay there until New Year."

It makes me excited, I smiled widely and nodded.

He shrugged. "Just telling you to inform your Mum."

"Thanks! I will!"
#UM4
#UM4

Kagaya ng plano, iyon nga ang ginawa namin kinabukasan. Gabi pa lang ay nag-impake
na ako upang walang makalimutan sa bagahe, I was so excited since last night that I
didn't get much sleep.

Sobrang nakakaexcite iyong bonding, once in a year lang kasi ito at Miramontes na
ulit ang makakasama ko sa buong susunod na taon.

It's December twenty-three and we'll stay in Cebu until New Year, I don't know when
are we going home exactly but I need to go back to Davao on January four because
the class will be back to normal. Iyon ang usapan namin ni Mommy at sumang-ayon si
Papa sa pabor na iyon dahil naiintindihan niyang balik klase ako.

We flew to Cebu and landed safely at ten in the morning, napakagulo at ingay ng
pamilya namin sa airport habang naghihintay sa sundo.

Naghaharutan sila Fifth, Bhaltie, Capriana at Diamante habang nagtatawanan.

Nakikipaglaro si Arki sa mga bata, nakatanaw lang si Brillante at tahimik si
Troilus na dinadaldal ni Philo at Fiorene habang nakikinig lamang si Primmie sa
tabi at ngumingisi ng tipid tuwing may nakakatawang naririnig. Wala sila
Callistaire, susunod daw bukas dahil busy pa ngayon sa Batangas.

The elders were busy talking about the place we'll be staying in here.

"Patch, ano?" lumapit si Tita Pate. "Sasabay ka ba sa amin?"

Patch tsked and glanced at her cell phone.

"Heidden will fetch me."

Huminga ako ng malalim at pinanood na lamang si Arki na hinahagis sa ere si

Desmond, Tito Linus' youngest son. Natawa ako nang hampasin siya ni Tita Fab at
pagalitan, Arki was just laughing.

"Okay. Nasaan na raw?"

"On the way."

Tumango si Tita Pate at bumalik sa kanilang grupo, nagtatawanan sila roon.

"Ang gaganda ng kasama nating dalaga, baka makuha tayo ng itim na van!" biro ni
Tita Bistre.

"That's white, Momsy!" ani Capriana.

"Pake mo ba? Hanggang dito lang usapan, e!"

Nagtawanan sila, napailing ako at natawa rin kahit nakikinig lang. How I wish I can
talk with Mom like that, iyong sobrang kumportable. Tuwing naririnig ko silang
magkausap ni Tita Bistre ay wala akong ramdam na intimidasyon at ang sarap siguro
sa pakiramdam noon.

Palakad-lakad si Patch sa harapan ko habang abala sa cell phone, tinapat niya iyon
sa kanyang tainga.

"Where are you?" aniya. "Sinong kasama mo? Wala pa sundo namin pero kung sa inyo
tayo magla-lunch, puwede akong mauna sa kanila. Nagpaalam na ako kay Dad."

She sat beside me and took out a compact mirror to see her face.

"Okay, I love you." Nagtakip siya ng bibig at agad binaba ang tawag. "Fuck, scratch
my mouth."

Nagkatinginan kami at bumusangot siya na tila dismayado sa sarili.

"Bakit?" natatawa kong tanong.

"Ayaw ko nang magsabi noon sa kanya, e. Kahit kailan wala namang I love you na
binalik 'yon, napapahiya lang ako. Kainis!"

My forehead creased. "Baka hindi lang showy."

Boys are different in showing affection, most of them are not showy and secretive.
They like to hide their affection towards anyone or anything because for them, it
will kill their coolness. May kapatid akong lalaki kaya alam ko iyon kahit papaano.

"Hindi naman talaga showy pero napapahiya pa rin ako 'pag nagsasabi ako, parang
hangin kasi. Pero bahala na, at least hindi ako nagkulang." Tumawa siya.

I nodded even though it was a bit confusing.

"Samahan mo ako, ah!"

Nilingon ko siya ulit. "Saan?"

"Kila Heid, doon tayo maglunch."

"Huh? Ayaw ko," tanggi ko agad.

"I won't take no, Pal!"

"Ayaw ko, Patch. Kayo na lang."

Bakit isasama niya pa ako? Mamaya ay family lunch iyon, nakakahiya na naroon pa ako
gayong hindi naman ako kakilala. Ayos lang kung siya, dahil nobya naman siya.

"Wala naman parents niya ngayon, mga pinsan at kapatid lang ang magkakasama roon.
Bilis na! Please?" she pleaded while shaking my arm and pouting.

Ngumiwi ako at iritableng inalis ang kamay niya, she giggled in triumph.

"Thanks! Lakas ko talaga sayo!"

I just gasped in disbelief.

Ilang saglit lang kaming naghintay, dumating ang tatlong Hiace na sundo ng mga
Villareal pero dahil wala pa ang sundo ni Patch ay nagpasya silang manatili muna
hanggang sa dumating si Heidden, hindi rin nagtagal iyon. I saw him walking towards
our side.

"Finally! Pakatagal!" iritableng pagtayo ni Patch para salubungin ang nobyo na

naunang bumati sa mga nakatatanda.

Tita Pate looked so fond of him, they talked for a bit with Papa and the others.

"Kailan kasal?" biro ni Tito Horace.

"Ha? Anong kasal-kasal?" kontra ni Tito Clay. "Walang ganyan sa usapan!"

They laughed.

"Masyadong serious, dong? Wala sayo ang singsing at simbahan!" asar ni Tita Bistre
na lalong nagpatawa sa kanila.

"Bakit pa ginirlfriend si Patch kung hindi sa kasalan ang tuloy?" dagdag asar ni
Tito Elexius.

That's right. Kaya hindi rin ako pabor sa "exploring" na sinasabi nila Capriana, I
don't need to try changing boyfriends to find the one for me. I just want somebody
with a decent family that will respect me in any aspect through good and bad times
together.

"Basta, walang kasal-kasal muna!" iling ni Tito Clay.

"Hindi pa naman kami ready, 'no! Don't worry too much, Daddy! Ayaw kong magka-
wrinkles ka!" Patch suddenly pointed me to Papa. "Anyways, Tito. I'll take Sileas
with me."

Nagtaas ng kilay si Papa.

"Is it okay? Baka family lunch iyon at wala namang boyfriend ang anak ko sa
Estrevillo," pabirong aniya.
Heidden chuckled. "It's alright, Sir."

"Wala naman sila Tito Cash, Tito. Magla-lunch lang kami sa kanila ngayon."

Papa nodded and smiled. "If it's okay with her, then go."

I smiled at him. I really appreciate that he's concerned about what I want first.

Nagpaalam kami sa kanila at umalis, iniwanan ko na kay Papa ang maleta ko at ibang
gamit. Tanging sling bag lang ang dala ko, Patch was sitting in the front seat and
Heidden was driving.

"Sinong babalikan sa mall?" tanong ni Patch habang inaayos ang kanyang buhok.

"Chancent."

Oh, okay. Narito rin pala siya sa Cebu? So magkasabay sila kagabi? Nabanggit kasi
ni Patch na papuntang Cebu si Heidden, kasama pala si Chancent. Patch told me a lot
about them, Heidden and his other relatives grew up in Manila while his brother was
staying in Cebu.

"Bakit? Anong ginawa sa mall nun?"

He shrugged. "He met someone."

"Oh, his Miss Cebu?"

Humalakhak si Heidden. "Is there Miss Manila?"

"Chancent is Mr. Universe! He has girlfriends, with S, in every nation!" pagdidiin

ni Patch.

Lalong natawa si Heidden habang nagmamaneho.

"Ano? Tawang-tawa ka? Former Mr. Universe ka kasi! Kung hindi mo pa ako nakilala,
baka may sakit ka na!"

"Thanks to you, I am saved!" natatawang ani Heidden.

"Tseh!"

I sighed quietly and looked around the place we're heading, I can't relate! They
are freaking sweet even without doing anything. Alam ko lang na magkarelasyon sila
kaya hindi ko maiwasang isipan ng tamis ang bawat galaw nila. I imagined myself
having a boyfriend before when I got a suitor but that was a long time ago and now
it's cringey to imagine without experiencing it.

I feel awful. Bitter, rather? I don't know, I just can't deny that Patch is really
lucky to have Heidden who's always patient with her. Ang dami ko nang narinig na
masama sa pinagsasabi ni Patch pero kahit kailan ay hindi ko nakitaan ng
disappointment si Heidden, minsan nga ay tinatawanan niya lang.

Ilang minuto lang na biyahe iyon at narating namin ang harapan ng mall. I already
saw Chancent, he was standing beside a sign board and busy with his cell phone.
Pansinin siya ng mga nadadaang tao, binabalikan pa ng tingin. He's just wearing a
simple mustard shirt, sweatshorts and a pair of black slides.

Kagaya noong unang makita ko siya, sobrang simple pa rin pero nasa kanya ang lahat
ng angas. He looked so bad in an attractive way, you can call him bad names but at
the end of it; you'll end up with attraction. Well, he's a nice talker. But
definitely not a boyfriend material, huh?

Heidden opened his window to call Chancent's attention, nagtaas ng tingin si

Chancent at bahagyang nasilaw sa liwanag ng araw bago ngumisi nang makita si
Heidden. Lumakad na siya para pumasok sa sasakyan.

I simply straightened up, pretending to be busy with my cell phone as he went in.
Umandar na rin ang sasakyan paalis.

"Sileas," iyon ang pagbati niya sa aking presensya.

I casually turned to him and smiled a bit with a nod.

He smiled and was about to talk but Patch quickly blocked him with rants.

"Ano? Nakipagdate ka na naman sa Miss Cebu mo?"

Chancent sighed with a lazy grin and looked up.

"Oh, shut it! I don't have a girlfriend!"

"Mukha mo, Chancent! Wala kang girlfriend dahil with S 'yon! Girlfriends!" asar ni
Patch.

Natatawa na lang si Heidden sa harapan.

"Of course not! I don't do girlfriends now, I just met a friend. Stop being so
nosy, kid!" halakhak ni Chancent.

Patch made a face, umayos na siya sa pagkakaupo ulit doon habang inaasar si
Chancent. Nailing ako at tumingin sa labas ng bintana upang maabala sa tanawin
kaysa sa kanilang usapan na hindi naman ako makarelate.

I don't know them, okay. Si Patch lang ang kilala ko at napasama lang para sa
kanya.

"Hindi 'yan manloloko ng babae, may kapatid siyang babae," depensa ni Heidden
habang natatawa.

"Right! Heid has the probability, wala siyang kapatid na babae! Walang babalikan ng
karma."

Patch gasped and cussed out while the cousins, laughed.

"Subukan niya lang! Subukan mo lang, Heidden!"

"Hindi ka naman mabiro!" ani Heidden. "He's just joking. I won't do that, I already
have you."

Chancent cringed with a cuss.

"Gross!"

I chuckled mentally, they are talking cute and funny. They looked so close and
comfortable to each other, Heidden and Chancent are both nice.

We had lunch at Estrevillos residence with some of their family members that
afternoon. Seeing their house in Cebu didn't make me think twice about their
family, they also came from a rich one. What's more interesting, they don't have a
maid to serve them.

Pinakilala ako ni Patch sa ilang pinsan nila Heidden at nakapanatagan naman ng loob
sa ilang oras lamang na pag-uusap, Patch was really friendly—she used to socialize
a lot anywhere, while I was the silent one. Ayos na sa aking makinig pero hindi ako
mag i-initiate makipag-usap.

Nagpaalam si Patch na magbabanyo lang kaya naiwanan ako sa tanggapan kasama sila
Heidden at Astrid, naging tahimik ang lugar. Chancent went upstairs a while ago and
I don't know when is he coming down again, I actually need his talkativeness now to
be comfortable here. Siya lang naman ang madalas kumausap sa akin, kahit kanina sa
hapagkainan.

Austrid's cell phone rang loudly, agad siyang tumayo at nagpaalam sa amin.

"I'll just pick this up." She smiled and went out to the back yard.

Heidden closed his eyes and rested his nape on the back rest, napakurap-kurap ako
at agad inabala ang sarili sa sariling cell phone kahit wala akong gagawin doon.

I just replied on my brother's last text that I didn't read.

Gunther:
How are you?

Ako:
I'm fine here.

Pero asa pa ako na masasagot niya agad iyon, Gunther isn't a gadget type of man.
Huminga ako ng malalim, mas nakaramdaman ng awkwardness dahil nakikita ko sa gilid
ng aking mata na nakatingin si Heidden.

I inhaled quietly and glanced at him, I smiled a bit when I met his glance.

His brow arched slightly and he smiled, too.

"Are you okay?"

"Uh, yes?" medyo natawa ako sa pagsagot kasi ang weird ng tanong niya.

"You look uncomfortable."

Umiling ako at ngumiti.

"Nah, I'm just really like this."

I appreciate it but I'll appreciate more if he's not looking at me!

"Alright, just tell me if you want something. Juice, water or anything. Matagal si
Patch sa banyo."

I chuckled. "Sure, thanks."

His hair today was down freely, nahahati sa sentro at madalas niyang pasadahan ng
mga daliri pataas upang hawiin.

Bahagyang kumunot ang noo niya habang nakatingin sa akin, pinagkunutan ko rin siya
dahil hindi ko alam ang magiging tugon doon. May mali ba akong nasabi? O may dumi
ako sa mukha?

I was stunned a bit when he laughed at my reaction and I just realized that I look
stupid!

Suminghap ako at umirap sa kanya.

"What's so funny?"

"Sorry, can't help it!" he motioned his hand above his head and pulled some hair.
"You look like a kid with antenna."

"Huh?" I gently combed my hair down with fingers.

Tatawa-tawa pa rin siyang tumango at nagthumbs up nang maayos ko ang buhok. Umismid
na lang ako at muling nag cellphone, my face was so hot in embarrassment.

Sobrang laki ng pasasalamat ko nang bumaba na si Chancent at makisali sa tanggapan,

he just took a bath. He's now wearing a white muscle shirt and a blue boardshorts,
walang sapin sa paa.

"I followed you on IG," he informed me as he sat down on the couch beside me.

"Thanks!"

"Will you confirm it?" he chuckled.

Natawa ako at tumango.

"Why not?"

He shrugged. "Maybe you still see me as a stranger."

"Hindi naman."

He nodded and grinned.

"If am not a stranger anymore, can I get your number?"

My lips parted, he seems joking and I wanna wipe the playful grin on his lips, does
he really want my number or he's tripping? It's so annoying!

Heidden laughed loudly, binato niya ng throw pillow si Chancent.

"I'm cheering for that!"

Hindi naman ako natutuwa, tiningnan ko si Chancent na may pagtatanong sa kunot ng

noo at taas ng kilay ko. I'm not here to be the face of their game, that's bullshit
for me.

He cleared his throat and gasped.

"I'm serious."

My eyes narrowed, I remained serious and a bit annoyed.

"Serious like, I really wanna get your number," he added.

"Why?"
He looked finding a reason.

"For project purposes po sana." 

What a jerk. I don't really like funny guys because of this, you wouldn't know if
they're serious.

Kumunot ang noo ko, lalong naiirita. I rolled my eyes and shook my head.

"Sorry but I can't give it."

His brow arched, he looked amused. Halos matawa naman si Heidden sa isang tabi.

"Awe, that's sad. What are the qualifications to get it?"

My face heated, it's really awkward but I shrugged it off.

"Nothing."

Nothing, I don't like his personality. Why would I give him my number? Mabubulok
lang iyon sa phonebook ko. Texting for me takes a lot of courage and effort, bakit
ako mag e-effort magtext sa taong hindi ko naman gusto? Except sa relatives ko.

I was thankful when Patch finally came back, the living room brightened up again
and my irritation lowered down. However, Chancent didn't force me but he was simply
apologizing while talking to me. I eventually forgot it but since he didn't ask my
number again, it's fine.

He didn't do anything bad at all, I just don't like witty guys. Not my type. He's
attractively hot but... seriously, Sileas? Not your type but you find him
attractive!

Heidden and Chancent brought us home after merienda, the day was light and funny.
We did some walk around their villa and watched the sunset on the beach while
talking and laughing about random stuff. I enjoyed the day with them, even after
all what happened—I had my mood back to normal. Hindi pa rin ako umuwing wala sa
mood.

"I'm really really sorry for ruining your mood, Sileas," Chancent said as he opened
the door for me.

I sighed softly and chuckled.

"It's alright, Chancent. I'm fine!"

Abala si Patch at Heidden sa pag-uusap sa kabilang banda, nagtatawanan.

Chancent pouted a bit and nodded with a sigh. He seemed bothered but he's covering
it with a gentle smile.

"Hmm, but know that I'm not really an ass," he said lowly. "See you around, and
enjoy your stay here."

Nagkatinginan kami, he was tall that I had to lift my head to see him certainly.
Marahan siyang humawak sa batok at nagbaba ng tingin, he bit his lip ring and
licked his lips.

"Have a good night, Sileas."

Hindi ko siya sinagot at tinanguan lang, I turned around and walked into the gate
of the villa with a small smile on my lips. I left Patch who was waiting for them
to leave, first. Nauna na akong pumasok dahil sumasakit na ang paa ko.

I inhaled fresh air and looked up at indigo sky while walking. I shivered as the
wind blows again.

Have a good night, too.

#UM5
#UM5

Gunther called me that night, siguro nagulat siya sa pagrereply ko. He was asking
me in a worried tone but I assured him that I was fine.

"Ayos lang ako, Gun."

"Alright. So what's up? Why did you suddenly reply on my text?" he asked frigidly.
"Anything bad happened?"

"Wala lang. Wala kasi akong magawa sa gitna ng awkward moment kanina." I chuckled
and told the real reason since I can really count on him.

It was awkward because? I don't know, honestly. But maybe because we were alone and
it doesn't feel, right? Whatever, I shouldn't really feel that way like how I feel
with Chancent around. It should be normal.

"Awkward moment? Like?"

I inhaled softly. "You know Patch, right?"

"Yeah."

"Her boyfriend and I were left alone, it was awkward for me. That's why I decided
to text you but you didn't reply!"

"I was busy with work. Why were you alone with her boyfriend?"

"Nagbanyo kasi siya, matagal iyon sa banyo parati kaya naiwanan kami roon."

Tsaka hindi naman kami close kaya ayaw kong maiwang mag-isa.

"So you're a third wheel? Walang ibang kasama?"

"Mayroon pero umalis saglit, wala namang mali roon. I'm just really an awkward
person."

He chuckled. "Sure, you are. Learn to socialize more, Sileas."

I sighed and rolled my eyes. I was learning but Mommy didn't like my choice of
friends, I stopped. I don't wanna push myself into friendship that I didn't choose
in the first place, kung nakikisama man ako sa mayayamang kaibigan ay hanggang doon
na lang. They're not the friends I should count on and share my secrets with or
tell whatever I feel in anything.

Medyo nagtagal ang pag-uusap namin nang gabing iyon, he told me about his day in
the office, the plan for holidays and asked what I want. He informed me that
they'll fly to our rest house in Europe and stay there until New Year with the
whole clan—Gabanni's choice. Kaya pala tinapos na niya ang lahat ng trabaho.
Gunther is a good brother than Gabanni, hindi naman ako pinapansin noon at madalas
walang pakealam sa akin kaya nakatatak na sa isip kong hindi niya ako tinuturing na
kapatid. Para sa kanya, sila lang ni Gunther. Although, I'm really lucky that I
have a brother, he was spoiling me and he always got my back. He never judged my
existence and he cares for me.

The next morning started annoyingly, nagising ako sa ingay ni Patch at pagtalon-
talon sa kama. Halos sabunutan ko siya nang maalimpungatan ako dahil ang sarap ng
tulog ko at sobrang aga pa para manggising siya.

"Come on, sleepy head! Wake up!"

Padabog akong kumamot sa ulo at inabot ang cell phone sa ilalim ng kama para
tingnan ang oras. May ilang messages si Mommy at ibang numero na hindi ko muna
pinansin dahil sa iritasyon.

"Patch, it's too early!"

It was really a wrong decision to be with her in one room! I should've stayed in
Brillante's room or anyone's, puwede rin kila Troi dahil tanghali naman silang
nagigising at hindi manggigising ng ganito kaaga!

I can't believe her! Mag a-alas siyete pa lang!

"We're going to Bantayan Island, sa biyahe ka na lang ulit matulog! Arte!"

Napamulat ako, hindi ko alam na may ganoong plano. Nilingon ko si Patch, she's now
busy with her cell phone while walking back and forth near the window, namataan ko
rin si Arki at Troilus sa balkonahe.

Sumisilip-silip si Arki habang nakatago sa likuran ang hawak na sigarilyo, Patch

walked towards them.

"I locked the door and screamed to wake Pal up, hindi na 'yan suspicious!" inagaw
niya kay Arki ang sigarilyo para makihits at binalik din agad iyon pagtapos.

Arki grinned when he saw me watching them, I sighed heavily and sat up. Kunot ang
noo kong lumapit sa kanila roon, there's a small round table with three chairs.
Hindi kalakihan ang balkonahe, maganda rin ang tanawin mula sa twenty fifth floor
na kinaroroonan namin.

"Is she smoking, too?" patungkol ni Troi kay Patch.

"Yah, uso naman!" hagikgik ni Patch. "Ikaw, Troi? Lights ka, 'no?"

Humagalpak si Arki at umiling, he motioned his neck as if he's dead and made a
face.

Lumabas ako para kunin ang isang tasa ng kape sa lamesa, alam kong kay Patch dahil
Hello Kitty ang disenyo. I sipped and I almost puked it, malamig na ang kape!

"Don't ever ask," supladong tugon ni Troilus.

"He's against any bad habits." Tumalikod si Arki at hinubad ang kanyang puting t-
shirt bago sumandal sa terasa at napatuloy sa pagsisigarilyo.

"Awe, boring!"
Troilus closed his eyes. "I'm already blind, I don't need a lung cancer." Sinandal
niya ang batok sa back rest at nagkrus ng mga binti.

"Lung cancer agad?"

"Ano ba? Ulcer?" sarkastikong untag ni Troi.

Nagtawanan sila, Arki grinned evilly.

"Good morning, sunshine! Sorry for intruding, si Patch lang kasi ang hindi
sumbungera."

"Because she's smoking, too," I said.

"Are you gonna surrender us?"

I chuckled. "No, I don't care about it."

But I'm really disappointed, I just don't wanna let them know that. I'm against it,
too, like Troi. Aside from it's not good for the health, it gives them bad image.

Kalaunan akong naligo sa banyo at iniwanan sila roon, dinig ko pa rin ang kanilang
tawanan at mukhang nadagdagan na sila sa kuwarto namin.

"Sinong sasama sa mall? We need a driver!" Capriana's voice.

"Si Bhaltie?"

"He's with Jace, and I don't like his driving skills. I want Arki or Fifth!"

Jace? He's here?

"Jace Hontiveros?" Patch asked in a high tone.

"Yup! Why?"

"Bakit nandito siya? Oh my gosh, I'm excited to meet him! Maliligo muna ako at mag-
aayos. Sasama ba siya sa Island?"

"Yes, and please!" Capriana uttered sternly. "That's cheating."

Humagalpak sa tawa si Arki.

"So, who's coming with us? We'll just buy new bikinis!"

"Si Fifth na lang!" ani Arki habang tumatawa pa rin.

Tinapos ko ang pagbibihis, I wore a yellow sundress. Nanatiling nakabalot sa

tuwalya ang buhok ay lumabas ako ng banyo, I saw Diamante on the door frame with
her thick spiral curl hair. She's wearing a short fitted red dress and a pair of
sandals, lumabas si Capriana at sabay silang umalis.

"Hindi ba marunong magdrive 'yon?" kakamot-kamot na sambit ni Fifth bago sumunod sa

dalawa.

Tatawa-tawa akong naupo sa kama, Patch was giggling while talking to her boyfriend.

"We're going to Bantayan Island, saan kayo?"

"I don't know yet but I'll suggest that."

"Okay! Nandiyan na sila Tita?"

"Yup, we're all ready to go."

"Kumpleto kayo? As in?"

"Nope, Tito Matrix didn't come."

"Awe, I wanna meet him pa naman! And his ever celebrity wife!" maarteng ani Patch.

Heidden's sleepy chuckle resounded.

"You'll meet them some other time, in Manila. He's really busy in hospital now, he
has a VIP patient."

Patch smiled and noticed me, agad nagliwanag ang ekspresyon niya at tinutok ang
camera sa akin.

"She's out! Go, tell her now!"

Kahit gulat doon ay hindi ko iniwas ang sarili dahil mas magmumukha akong nahihiya
sa kanya, I shouldn't feel awkward around him. He's just my cousin's boyfriend.

I smiled and waved my hand quickly.

"What is it?" sinulyapan ko rin si Patch.

Heidden was on a couch, he looked so bright in the screen. Ngumisi siya at tinutok
sa ibang banda ang camera, I saw Chancent there—he was standing near the bed with
only white towel as his bottom while busy texting.

"Hey, someone's asking..." Heidden called his attention.

Namilog ang mga mata niya nang mapatingin sa screen at mabilis umiwas. Uminit agad
ang batok ko paikot sa mukha dahil sa nakitang ayos niya, it wasn't my first time
seeing a naked man but it's really embarrassing now.

Narinig ko ang pagmumura niya kay Heidden, tawa nang tawa si Patch.

"That's not funny, Heidden," mariing sambit ni Chancent at biglang namatay ang
tawag.

I sighed to calm my heating face.

Napailing na lamang ako kay Patch na tawa pa rin nang tawa sa kabilang kama, naroon
si Arki at nakadapa habang naglalaro sa cell phone.

"Chance looked so cute! He's so shy, did you see that?" Patch laughed.

"Is he hitting on Sileas?" Arki asked.

Inalis ko ng tuwalya sa buhok, tumayo na si Patch at nahinto sa kakatawa kalaunan.

"No," I answered.

Tumihaya si Arki at lumingon sa gawi ko.

"Chancent is not a bad choice, but he's years older than you. Do you prefer old
man?"

Natawa ako at nagkibit balikat lamang dahil wala akong makuhang sagot sa hangin. Do
I prefer old man? Is Chancent that old? Ilang taon na ba iyon?

Does age even matter? I mean, scratch his name but age isn't important.
Relationship runs without age, it's just a number—what's more important is growing
together, filling each other's mind until maturity embraced them in one that will
take them to contentment.

"Hey! Magkaedad lang sila ni Heidden, they're not old men! They're just twenty
three!" giit ni Patch habang papasok ng banyo. "But you're wrong, he's a bad
choice!"

Kumunot ang noo ko, bad choice? Bakit?

"He doesn't take relationships seriously! He's changing girls every month! He's
arrogant and irresponsible!"

So? Magiging kami ba? Hindi naman, bakit masyadong detailed sa bagay na iyon? If
he's an asshole, I don't really care as long as he's not harming me—then we can be
friends.

Arki laughed.

"Hey, hey! You're already judging his future, wala pa nga. Boys change, you know!"

Umirap si Patch. "Basta, I don't like him for Pallavi! He's not good for you, Pal!
Kung magbabago, sana noon pa kaso wala naman akong nakitang improvement!"

I shrugged.

"I don't have any plans to know him, anyway."

"Good!"

Pumasok siya sa banyo, nagkatinginan kami ni Arki at nakatawa siyang nagkibit

balikat bago naglaro ulit sa cell phone.

I chuckled and checked my cell phone while combing my wet hair, I replied on
Mommy's messages first before reading the other messages in my inbox.

Unregistered Number:
Hi, Sileas. This is Quentin. Hoping to meet you in Cebu. Tita Gabbana told me
you're here for holidays, too.

My eyes widened, tinigil ko ang pagsusuklay para sagutin iyon. Quentin was a
childhood friend in Davao, he migrated abroad that broke our communication and it's
really surprising that he conntacted me! Nasa Cebu rin pala siya.

Ako:
Quentin Saldivar?

Hindi iyon nagreply, kanina pa ang text niya kaya baka busy na iyon sa kanyang
ginagawa. While waiting, I read the other messages. Lahat iyon ay puro "Hi" na
walang pagpapakilala kaya hindi ko nireplyan ang ilan.

Unregistered Number:
Hey, Miss Sileas.

Unregistered Number:
This is Chancent. Sorry for texting you but you don't have to reply if you don't
feel like it. Have a good day, see you around.

Bakit niya kaya ako tinext? Malabo kung pakikipagkaibigan ang pakay, parang hindi
naman siya iyong tipo na palakaibigan sa mga babae. As what I've heard, he used to
change girls every month. Ano kayang pakay niya sa akin?

I bit my bottom lip and typed.

Ako:
What do you need from me?

He didn't reply, it seems like his tail bowed down on my reply.

After lunch with the whole family in the hotel, we rode to the port for our private
yacht to Bantayan Island. We were so loud and excited while at the yacht, some of
them were cheering for Spin the Bottle.

"Spin the bottle lang mga bata, ha! Walang lapaan na magaganap dito!" Tita Bistre
reminded.

"Wala naman talaga, Momsy! That's incest!"

"O, bakit? Andiyan si Jace, e! Malay ko ba kung gagawin siyang pulutan ng iba mong
pinsan!" kumindat si Tita kay Jace. "Single 'yong iba riyan! Ako na bahala sa
parents! Charot!"

Capriana groaned.

"Si Pallavi at Dia lang ang single!"

Uminit ang pisngi ko habang sila ay nagtatawanan lang sa pinag-uusapan.

"Si Ante rin!" ani Bhaltie.

Ngumiwi si Tita Bistre. "Ay, sige, Jace. Huwag ka na umasa! Kahit gaano ka kaguwapo
at famous, kung bato ang haharapin mo, wala rin!"

"Ang harsh mo kay Ante!" Bhaltie laughed.

Brillante and Troi aren't with us, kasama niya sa taas ang mga parents namin at mga
bata. The game started quickly, it's Spin the Bottle with shots—kung kanino tututok
ang bote ay may kalakip na Truth or Dare at kapag nag-pass ay dalawang shots ng
tequila agad.

Being a KJ, I didn't join the game and they didn't force me now. I enjoyed watching
them play it, si Patch ang nakaraming shots dahil puro siya pass sa tanong at utos
na hindi niya kaya. The questions were simple but really personal, like if she's
still a virgin... etcetera. Parang naitatanong naman sa lahat iyon.

Halos lahat sila excited kapag kay Jace natatapat ang bote, napapailing at tawa na
lang si Jace sa kanila.

"Yes!" singhap ni Dia. "I'll ask!"

Jace nodded simply, medyo natatawa na dahil binubulungan nila Arki si Dia para sa
suhestiyon. I was waiting, natatawa rin ako sa kanila.

"Are you a virgin, Jace? Celebrity ba?"

"Oy, tsismis!" asar ni Bhaltie.

I just knew that Tita Bistre and Jace's mother are siblings. Bhaltie, Capriana and
Jace are clearly cousins. Kasama rin pala namin ang parents ni Jace, nasa itaas
sila—Embry Zobel and Rekta Hontiveros. His Mom looked like a barbie who rocks, she
got a cool fashion taste and Rekta's really a hot Daddy. Jace doesn't look like him
but the way they talk and act, the same.

"Oy, cheysmes!" Fifth copied Bhaltie's accent.

We laughed at that. Buti na lang at hindi pikunin si Bhaltie, madalas kasi siyang
gayahin sa pagsasalita kahit nila Capriana.

"Or when did the Jace Zobel Hontiveros have his first sex?" Capriana rephrased.

Jace' face distorted with a smile. "I'll take two shots, pass!"

"Oh, come on! You're eighteen! It's okay!" Arki mocked.

Tawa at iling ang tugon ni Jace, agad niyang nilagok ang nakahandang dalawang shots
at nagtaas ng kamay.

"I'm done."

Another spin of the bottle, kay Jace na naman iyon tumapat. Capriana's turn to ask
again, siya naman palagi. Minsan feeling ko madaya na iyon.

She grinned evilly at Jace and looked around us.

"If you would've given a chance to court some of my cousins, who? Who do you find
attractive, or more like—your type?

I remained composed as Jace looked at us simply, huminga ako ng malalim at iniwas

ang tingin dahil nakakahiya talaga. Bakit kasi iyon ang tanong? We're not some
options to be chosen!

"They're all beautiful and amazing."

"Tangina, lumaki kasi sa showbiz!" tawa ni Capriana.

Tawanan sila nang tawanan. They stopped playing the bottle eventually and just
continued rounding the shots, I feel bored when I couldn't relate to their topics
anymore.

Tahimik akong naglakad patungo sa kabilang side ng yate upang pagmasdan ang
magandang tanawin ng karagatan at mga bundok sa malayo, the salty air was a bit
sticky. I took out my cell phone and captured a scenery of the blue sky and thick
clouds, I posted it on my IG story.

Ilang saglit pa ay nakatanggap ako ng replies mula sa mga schoolmates at ilang

kaibigan sa Davao, nagreply ako sa mga nakakausap at malapit sa akin.

I took another picture, it was a boomerang with a wide blue sea behind me. I was
smiling with teeth and closed eyes because of my messy hair. I posted it again.
Chancestrevillo replied: Beautiful background.

I pouted that turned into a smile as I replied.

Pallavillareal: Thanks!

Chancestrevillo: No problem.

Ang suplado niya pala sa chat, kahit hindi ko naririnig ay ganoon ang pakiramdam.
How could he get a lot of girlfriends using that suplado tactic? I thought he's
funnier in chat!

Chancestrevillo: Are you going to Bantayan Island?

Pallavillareal: Stalker.

It was a joke, alam ko namang malalaman niya talaga at maririnig iyon kay Heidden.

Chancestrevillo: I don't wanna be a creep haha, heard it from Patch.

Pallavillareal: I know. I was kidding.

Chancestrevillo: Cute.

I smiled at that, my chest heaved and realized I was smiling. I quickly bit my lips
to stop it and just watched the waves of the sea that seems like running after me.

Ilang oras na biyahe patungong Bantayan Island ay narating namin iyon, we all went
down and some of my cousins were so drunk and hyped. Ayan kasi, uminom na agad.
Mukhang bukas pa nila mae-enjoy ang isla dahil magsisitulugan mamaya iyan sa hotel.

Capriana was groaning while Tito Cyprian's supporting her waist. "My throat hurts!"

"Inom pa kasi, day!" sermon ni Tita Bistre. "Tingnan mo si Bhaltie, chill lang.
Namumula lang pero hindi nalalasing, 'di ba, bebe?"

"Wako-wako, I'm so drunk!" Capriana faked a sob. "I need more strength to carry on,
please give me a magic bean!"

Nagtawanan kami.

"Ganyan ka rin malasing, Ate Cencia, 'di ba?" Embry Hontiveros teased.

"Puro ka Ate Cencia, kukurutin ko singit mo 'pag ako nawalan ng pasensya!"

Tita Fab laughed loudly and cheered. "Break it down, yo!"

Puro kami tawanan habang naglalakad at ang gaan sa pakiramdam, kasing edad nila si
Mommy pero kahit kailan ay hindi ko narinig si Mommy na nagbibiro ng ganito. It
feels new to me that I have aunties like them.

We checked in to the hotel, apat kami nila Patch sa isang suite at ganoon din ang
mga lalaki na may sariling silid para sa mga gustong magkakasama. Syempre, hiwalay
sa amin ang mga parents at mga bata.

It was like a rest time for us, kahit wala namang ginawa sa biyahe ay nakakapagod
at nakakaantok lalo pa iyong mga nag-inuman.

"I'm gonna recharge for a bit," ani Diamante sabay higa sa kama.
Bagsak din agad si Capriana at Patch sa kanilang kama habang ako ang matino ngayon
sa kanila. I removed their sandals and anything could make them feel uncomfortable
in sleep, nakashades pa si Capriana kaya inalis ko rin iyon.

Papa checked on me and asked my concerns, I just told him that I'm all fine.
Lumabas din siya pagtapos naming mag-usap sandali, I walked out into our room's
balcony and captured another scenery of the beachfront.

Chancestrevillo replied: How are you? And Patch?

Kumunot ang noo ko, medyo naguluhan doon.

Pallavillereal: I'm fine and Patch is passed out.

Chancestrevillo: I see. You did not drink?

How did he know about that? Hmm, maybe from Heidden?

Pallavillareal: Nope.

Chancestrevillo: We just arrived in Bantayan Island, too.

My eyes widened, I took a deep breath and replied.

Pallavillareal: That's great.

Wow, I can't believe they're also here now.

Chancestrevillo: Hope to see you.

Nagtatype pa lang ako, pero wala akong maisip kaya medyo nagtagal ako sa pagsagot
doon.

Chancestrevillo: Are you free this time? Or you'll rest?

Napalunok ako, medyo excited na kabado sa hindi malamang dahilan.

Pallavillareal: I'm free but Patch is asleep.

Chancestrevillo: Wanna walk around?

I gasped and rolled my eyes.

Pallavillareal: Patch is sleeping.

Chancestrevillo: I'm asking you, not her.

I inhaled deeply and closed my eyes, napairap ako sa sarili kalaunan dahil para
akong tanga sa parteng iyon. Bakit ba ako kabado sa ganoong klase ng imbitasyon?
It's normal! Nothing's bid deal!
#UM6
#UM6

I'm not sure what took me out to meet Chancent, or did I ever confirm that I'd meet
him? I didn't reply on his last text and he texted again about what they were
planning to do, all in all—I didn't confirm our meeting nor my sudden come out.

Basta ang alam ko ay naglalakad na ako sa malambot na puting buhangin ng beach at

natatanaw ang ilang Estrevillo na nakilala ko kasama ang iba pang hindi pamilyar
habang naglalaro.

Austrid in a black and white checkered bikini, jumped and spiked the ball
powerfully and the guy on the other team wasn't able to catch it. She clapped
cheerfully and high five with Heidden, they're teammates. Naglalaro sila ng
volleyball gaya nga ng impormasyon ni Chancent kanina.

Ginala ko ang tingin, Chancent wasn't playing but I saw him laughing while sitting
on the ground with red boardshorts only, he's just watching.

"This is so unfair! We're not volleyball players, Cien!"

"Wala sa ganoon 'yon! Anyone can play this game, stop being a baby!"

"Even so! We're not experienced as her!"

"This is fifteen freakin' bucks! I don't wanna lose without a fight, get Austrid
out of your team!"

"Awe, scared!"

"I'm not, I just don't want a game with unfair players!"

Pumalakpak si Heidden para muli silang bumalik sa paglalaro. Nagtatalo pa ang ilan
sa kanila at tinataboy si Austrid na tumatawa lang sa mga reklamo.

"Stop crying, guys! I have ankle injury, this is just fair. I'm being careful!"
Austrid laughed.

I inhaled simply and watched them for a while, hindi naman ako pansin sa
kinatatayuan ko dahil may mga nanonood din sa kanila. Nakakaaliw iyon sa ilang
minuto dahil puro reklamo ang kabilang grupo, halos lahat kasi ng puntos ay kila
Austrid.

I glanced at Chancent again, naagaw ang pansin ko noong babaeng bagong dating at
nakabikini rin. She immediately clung onto Chancent's arm as she sat beside him.

I puckered my lips and shrugged my thoughts about him and his probable
girlfriend... of the month? Hmm.

Nagtagal ako ng ilang minuto, malagkit man ang simoy ng panghapong hangin ay hindi
naman nakakairita sa pakiramdam. Naaaliw talaga ako sa panonood. Minsan ko ring
ginusto ang sports na iyon, kaso hindi ako para roon.

I was chuckling quietly while watching the game when I got a glimpse of Chancent,
it was so unintentional—I didn't even notice myself glancing at his side, our eyes
just met.

Uminit ang pisngi ko sa hiya pero hindi ko pinahalata iyon sa kilos, I nodded a bit
and started planning my leave. What to do? How should I leave now?

Huminga ako ng malalim nang makita ko siyang tumayo mula sa buhanginan, kinuha niya
ang shirt sa lapag at sinampay iyon sa kanyang balikat. That was the moment, I
decided to walk away in a normal manner like I wasn't really watching there for
minutes already.

"Hey, Sileas!" he called while following me.

I turned with a little smile. "Hey..."

He chuckled. "I didn't expect you're watching here."

"Uh, kararating ko lang. Walang magawa sa guesthouse."

"Hmm." He walked beside me, nagsuot na siya ng kanyang sleeveless shirt. "You free,
then?"

I nodded. "Why?"

"Nothing. What do you wanna do?"

Napaisip ako, wala akong magawa sa guesthouse kaya lumabas ako at nagluluto pa lang
sila Tita Fili. The guesthouse was just near the beach, hindi kalayuan ang nilakad
ko pero medyo masakit na ang paa ko sa buhangin at gusto ko na lang maupo. It's not
a bad idea to sit and watch the people around.

Swimming kaya? Wala naman akong kasama, bagsak sila Diamante at si Ante lang ang
available pero hindi ko yayayain iyon. Hindi kami close.

I shrugged.

"Maybe, grab a coffee somewhere."

I don't have anything to do in mind, maglakad na lang siguro.

Natawa siya. "Coffee, really?"

Pinagkunutan ko siya ng noo at napailing siya, may nakakatawa ba roon? Well, it's
really weird especially that we're on a beach and it's a hot day, pero puwede
namang ice coffee, e?

Ilang sandaling natahimik ang pagitan namin habang naglalakad, hindi ko alam kung
hanggang saan niya ako susundan pero naghahanap lang talaga ako ng lugar na
mauupuan at... puwede naman siyang sumama, walang masama roon.

"Bakit-"

Pareho kaming nahinto sa sabay na pagsasalita at natawa siya, I swallowed and let
him ask first but he motioned me to do it so.

Okay. "Bakit hindi ka kasali sa laro nila kanina?"

"Not my sport." He shook his head. "And they have enough players."

I nodded.

"Siguro ayaw mo lang matalo, pustahan yata iyon."

Humalakhak siya. "Yes. That one, too. I don't wanna waste money and time for a game
that I don't know how to play."

"But you already did, you were just watching there without doing anything. That's
still a waste of time." I chuckled. I'm kidding, though.

"You're right but at least, I learned something from them without investing so
much. I know how to play it already, I can play next time."
"Right." I nodded with a smile.

Tama iyon, kahit sa ibang bagay. You can learn while watching so the time won't be
wasted, watching doesn't need investment, anyway.

We found resto along the way to nowhere, we're now out of the white sand beach.
Wala naman talaga akong alam dito at naglalakad lang kasama ang lalaking 'to, ni
hindi ko natandaan ang mga dinaanan namin dahil mas abala ang isip ko sa ibang
bagay.

I don't know why I am so conscious these days.

I decided to go in and sit on a two seater table near the resto fence, he just
followed me and glanced around the place. May mga turista sa loob at kumakain, may
maiingay na grupo at ilan din ang tahimik lang na nagkukuwentuhan.

A crew gave us a menu, this wasn't a fancy restaurant but I'm glad that I don't
need to get into the counter and choose what to eat.

"Do you have a coffee here?" Chancent asked the crew before she could walk out.

"Wala, Sir. More on cold drinks kami, walang hot coffee."

Napakurap-kurap ako.

"Ice coffee?"

She shook her head. "Wala rin, Ma'am. May Coffee Corner na malapit kaya hindi na
kami naglagay sa menu."

Disappointed, I just nodded and looked at the menu. Ayaw ko nang lumipat, ayos na
rito.

"Thank you," Chancent said nicely.

"You're welcome, Sir."

I just ordered an iced tea and their one of the most expensive dishes in the menu,
it's seafood something but having a higher price gave me a hope that it'd be worth
it. Medyo gutom na rin naman ako, kape lang sana pero nagbago ang kulo ng tiyan ko
sa kakalakad.

Maraming resto sa paligid, actually. Mas pinili ko lang ito dahil kaonti ang mga
tao at hindi crowded gaya sa ibang nakita kanina at para hindi naman halata na wala
akong alam sa lugar.

Chancent chose for him, too. Nang lumapit ulit ang crew ay sinabi ko ang akin at
ganoon din siya, marahan niyang binalik ang menu sa babae at umalis na iyon.

He rested his arms on the table, sandaling umikot ang mga mata niya sa lugar bago
iyon huminto sa akin.

"Is this your first time here?"

I couldn't nod nor shake my head, at least I didn't confirm. Huminga lang ako ng
malalim at simpleng iniwas ang tingin.

He chuckled.
"We're always here every summer and holidays 'cause Cebu is our favorite place to
relax since Grade School and hatest resto ito ni Nyxinea, she doesn't like the
ambiance and the food."

Namilog ang mga mata ko.

"Are we in the wrong place to eat?"

"No, it's okay. I haven't tried their food yet, can't answer that. Natuwa lang ako
na heto ang pinili mo."

Food is food, I don't know the taste yet but if she doesn't like the food here?
Ibig sabihin maarte lang siya. Iyong iba nga, hindi nakakakain ng tatlong beses sa
isang araw!

I'm so judgemental but seriously, ayaw kong mapahiya na ito ang pinili kong
puntahan sa dami ng nadaanan kanina. I hate this kind of situation where I put
myself into a probable embarrassment.

Please, be good.

Our order arrived in no time while we're talking about some stuff, mabilis ang
proseso! Baka hindi nga masarap at ininit lang?

Chancent was watching me and I don't know what expression of my face does while
looking at the food, it looks delicious but I won't give my approval yet. Looks can
be deceiving! Nahihiya ako at baka hindi rin magustuhan ni Chancent.

"Do you want me to taste it first?" halakhak niya.

"Huh?" I threw him a questioning look and I shrugged. "No."

"You look so bothered. It's just Nyxinea's taste, maarte iyon sa pagkain."

I nodded even when my heart was beating nervously. I decided to taste it, I savored
it while chewing slowly. I gasped and looked at him quickly who looked so amused
while watching me.

"It's not bad!" tuwa kong sinabi, relieved with my choice. I was smiling widely as
I took another spoonful of my food.

He chuckled and nodded, he also started tasting his food. Medyo namuo na naman ang
kaba ko dahil magkaiba kami ng order, paano kung iyong sa akin lang ang masarap na
pagkain dito? Did he order a higher priced food, too?

Imbes na hintayin ko ang reaksyon niya ay mas naabala pa ang panonood ko sa labi
niya habang ngumunguya, he was just chewing normally but it looks sexier than other
people I've seen eating and for my peace of mind's sake—I shifted up to his eyes
and caught him looking at me, I thought I'd get my peace of mind!

My face heated, he caught me watching him!

What the hell, Sileas!

My heart was bombing me, I pretended it was nothing—I cleared my throat and
chuckled.

"How was it?" that's right, act normal. Saka mo na isiping nahuli ka niyang
pinapanood ang labi niya.
He puckered his lips and shrugged.

"Fine than Nyxinea's judgement."

"You liked it?" I asked hesitantly and took a sip on my iced tea.

He grinned cheekily. "Yes, I might bring my friends here."

Tumango ako, tuwa sa resulta at hindi naman kami nadismaya sa pagkain pero
dismayado pa rin ako sa sarili. Ano kayang iniisip niya sa panonood ko sa labi niya
habang kumakain? My, God! It was good that I can be an actress in front of anyone
even embarrassed and caught.

Sa gitna ng aming pagkain, tumunog ang cell phone niya sa lamesa. He looked at the
caller and answered it.

"What?" tamad niyang bungad at napasulyap sa akin. "Oh, sorry, Sileas. Belated
excuse me." He chuckled.

Natawa lang ako at tinanguan siya, I was eating peacefully.

"I'm busy... huh? We're in Nyxinea's hatest resto." He chuckled. "I love it now,
you should try their menu. Iba na yata ang chef, last year pa 'yon. Uh, yeah,
Sileas Villareal. Patch' cousin, paulit-ulit ka."

Kumunot ang noo ko pero hindi na iyon pinuna pa, ano 'yon? Hindi makapaniwala?
Bakit? It was a quick talk between them and ended immediately. Pagtapos namin
kumain, nanatili muna kami roon at umorder pa siya ng available desserts ng resto
kaya panibagong pagkain na naman.

I was enjoying his company so far, he talks and asks a lot about random topics. I
can hear his wittiness and intelligence in one, palagay ko nga ay madaldal na rin
ako habang umiikot ang oras na kasama siya dahil napapakuwento na rin ako tungkol
sa buhay.

"Mommy is really strict when it comes to me. She can't tell the reason but I know
that because I was just the only one mistake in her life." I smiled a bit.

It makes me feel real bad and sad but I'm used to hear that from Gabanni and other
Miramontes, I really was. Mommy was known prim and proper, siya pa ang panganay na
anak at nag-iisang babae kaya sigurado akong maraming nadismaya sa kanya noong
dumating ako sa buhay nila. Plus, she's married with Daddy Hartell and they already
have Gabanni and Gunther when I happened.

For me, it was a total disappointment and disgrace to the family.

His forehead creased and I saw a little confusion in his eyes, he chuckled.

"I don't think so, I think you are her added blessing in life. Walang anak na
mali."

I sighed heavily.

"You don't understand but it's fine."

He doesn't know everything, marami pa namang detalye na importante tungkol sa akin

at miski ako ay hindi pa kumpleto sa kaalaman. I'm still behind the shadow of their
yesterday, I don't think that I will ever be informed about it since both sides are
hiding it. For them, it's already alright that I was born. Masakit isipin na wala
akong alam pero hindi makapagreklamo.

"Maybe, I don't. But if your mother sees you a mistake, why did she continue
raising you?" he sighs. "Or okay, let's round it this way since abortion is illegal
in any case—why did she take you with her? Puwede ka naman niyang ibigay sa ama mo
pagtapos ipanganak at hindi ipakilala sa lahat para hindi siya masira. She could've
done everything to get rid of you but she didn't. What do you think why?"

I shrugged. I can't tell words to counter that part because that's my question,
too. Why didn't she just give me to Papa? Why she didn't abandon me?

"I'm still her blood, that's why." I just took it that way, so less hope that she
really wanted me.

Mommy was a principled eldest daughter of the family, her everything vanished and
turned ash when she had me. Her parents never trusted her again, parang tuluyan
siyang pinamigay sa mga Placido lalo dahil sa akin. May times pa ngang naalala ko
na hindi imbitado ang pamilya namin sa family gathering dahil ayaw ng ibang
matatandang Miramontes sa akin at galit kay Mommy.

Another day came, winala ko sa isip ang lahat ng magpapasira sa mood ko o ang mga
Miramontes na kailanman ay hindi ako nagustuhan.

"We are never ever getting back together!" kumakanta si Capriana habang nakahiga sa
buhangin at nagpapaaraw.

"Wala naman talagang babalik sayo, trauma na!" asar ni Fifth.

"Hey!" Capriana sat up with a shout and pulled up her aviators to glare at Fifth,
dinuro niya iyon. "I'm older than you! You can't mock me anytime like that! And
FYI, my exes are begging me to come back to them! You, idiot!"

"Your exes are just weakshits!" Bhaltie laughed.

"Why can't I mock older than me? That wasn't even a mock but a fact! You are a
traumatic experience for your ex boyfriends!"

"What!?" she hissed.

"Remember when you broke up with Jace' co-model?"

"I had reasons!"

Fifth laughed loudly. "Because he was late on your date and he couldn't be on your
birthday! And you're asking for a rich boyfriend when you can't even understand a
simple work schedule!"

Capriana gasped in disbelief, almost laughing but really offended.

"Why are you suddenly so bitter? Naghanap ba ng sugar daddy ang ex mo!? Oh my gold,
if your ex replaced you with a Sugar Poppy, it's not my fault anymore! My gold,
ha!"

Fifth was laughing so hard with Diamante who was busy taking selfies, umiling-iling
na lang. I smirked and checked my cell phone, I was texting with Chancent since
earlier this day. Si Patch? Wala, kasama yata ni Heidden. Hindi ko siya naabutan sa
kuwarto, e.
Chancent:
Wanna visit Nature Park or you're busy?

Ako:
We're out for swimming and sunbathing today. Nasa inyo si Patch?

Chancent:
Yup, she's with the aunts in the kitchen.

Ako:
Okay.

Chancent:
Can I go there?

I played with my lips and inhaled.

Ako:
Why?

Chancent:
Swimming.

Napahalakhak ako. Magkaiba kami ng resort na tinutuluyan kaya nakakatawa na rito pa

siya mags-swimming.

Ako:
Your choice, lol.

Chancent:
What's so funny? Insert your voice here.

Ako:
Funny.

Chancent:
On my way. I brought my baby.

Kumunot ang noo ko. Huh?

Ako:
You have a baby?

Chancent:
Do you like kids?

Ako:
Sometimes

Chancent:
Ah, so still depends on your mood. How bout today?

Ako:
Is that your baby?

So, may anak na pala siya? I heard that he's working under one of their companies
in Germany but I didn't hear this part, I didn't expect that he's already a father.

Chancent:
Secret.

Ako:
From what month mommy?

Chancent:
What does it mean? Haha.

Ako:
Hmm, someone said you're changing girlfriend every month.

Chancent:
Hahahaha, Patch is such liar.

I just laughed and shrugged, binagsak ko ang sarili sa buhangin at pinikit ang mga
mata sa silaw ng sikat ng araw. I feel heated by the sunlight again, I wanna get
tanned so I'll have a new skin tone and look when I come back home and school next
month.

I'm wearing a pair of gray two piece, my hair was up in a wet and messy bun.
Sobrang lagkit na ng pakiramdam ko dahil sa natuyong buhangin sa katawan, I sat up
again and just watched my cousins in front. Arki was following Desmond's steps
while running after the waves, Bhaltie was asked to take Capriana's picture—he's
holding a cam while Capriana was posing.

Napailing ako at bumungisngis. They're cute! Kahit palaging nang-aasar si Bhaltie

ay madalas naman sundin ang kambal. Sana may kapatid din akong sobrang kalapit, I'm
close with Gunther but he's way older that made him busy with work and stuff. He
has no time to deal with me in everything.

"Say hi, Ate!"

I heard Chancent's deep chuckle from behind, agad ko siyang nilingon doon. He was
carrying a boy, I think he's just on the same age as Desmond—three years old.

I smiled automatically and stood up to get closer.

"Hala, ang cute niya! Kamukha mo talaga!" I didn't notice that I was already
giggling as I held the kid's hand. "Hello, baby boy!"

Chancent laughed. "Clarification, this is not my kid."

Hindi ko iyon pinansin at kinuha ang bata sa kanya, I carried him and I was so
excited to play with him. Diniin ko ang ilong sa pisngi ng bata at humagikgik iyon
na tila nakiliti, lalo akong natuwa. Madalas ko naman laruin si Desmond kaso mas
madalas siyang agawin ni Arki kaya hindi ko masolo!

Naglakad ako patungo sa dagat, I glanced back at Chancent.

"Can I kiss him?" I asked.

He puckered his lips as if he's thinking.

I pouted. "Sa cheeks lang?"

He laughed and nodded.

"You don't really need to ask for that!"

I shrugged him off and walked onto the sea, naupo ako roon at kinandong siya
paharap habang pinanggigilan ang pisngi. I was even baby talking! It wasn't in my
plan, it was automatic!

"You wanna swim, huh?" I asked in a baby tone and chuckled.

He wriggled his feet on the water, I giggled in excitement and stood up again to
make him stand up.

"Oh, wow. You have a baby!" Arki giggled boyishly as he went to us and held my
baby's hand.

I hit his hand slightly and glared.

"Don't touch him, you have Desmond!"

He was awed, bahagyang pumarte ang labi sa akin at saka humalakhak.

"Taking care of a baby needs faithfulness, too, huh?"

I smirked and nodded.

He stuck his tongue out. "Huwag ka hahawak kay Monmon pag-uwi sa guesthouse, ah!
Damot!"

Tumawa lang ako.

"But seriously, where did you get a baby?" he asked.

Hinanap ng tingin ko si Chancent sa likuran na papalapit pa lang sa aming gawi, I

looked at Arki again and pouted to point Chancent behind. Tumingin si Arki at
bumaling agad sa akin.

"I thought he's only hitting on you! I didn't expect he'd already train you!"

My mouth dropped. "Train what?"

He laughed loudly and shook his head.

"Wala, wala!"

"Ano nga, Arki!?"

"Huwag mo na isipin, baka mabobo ka!" halakhak niya sabay lakad paalis, nang
makalapit si Chancent ay nginisian niya iyon. "Masyado kang maaga magtrain,
Estrevillo."

Chancent's forehead just creased but he chuckled eventually.

"Huh?" muli kong pakikisali.

Arki whistled and walked away with Desmond.

Suminghap ako at kinarga ang bata ulit bago nilingon si Chancent.

"Ano raw 'yon? Anong training?"

Chancent laughed while looking at me and the kid I'm carrying, ngumuso siya at
nagkibit balikat.
"He's just so advanced."

Seriously, what? I'm not dumb but they're so confusing! Nagkaintindihan agad sila
habang ako, nganga?
#UM7
#UM7

Basically, my day got so busy playing with Rowe—Chancent's nephew. After swimming,
we build a sand castle with Desmond and the other kids who went to play with us.
They even buried Arki's body on the sand who was really willing to fill the kids'
entertainment.

Kalaunan ding nakilala ng ilang pinsan ko si Chancent dahil naintriga sila sa

pinagkakaabalahan at lumapit sa amin. Of course, they asked who brought Rowe and I
don't have anyone to point but only Chancent who was already familiar to them.

They know him, actually, because they're in the wide circle of friends and it
wouldn't be impossible to hear things about whoever.

That was the highlight of the day, I was damn tired when I went back to the
guesthouse. I just took another bath, did some talk with the aunts and cousins and
rested signed off my day. Body pain is what I've got the next day that made me feel
disabled, so I stayed in the guesthouse while my other relatives went out to swim
and wander around the Bantayan Island.

"Baby girl, how are you feeling now?" Papa asked when he saw me heading towards the
refrigerator, kabababa ko lang sa hapong iyon dahil tinulog ko ang sakit ng
katawan.

My body isn't really used to work all day. I get tired easily and my body would be
in a great pain the next day.

"Maayos na, Pa. Pahinga lang talaga ang kailangan."

"What did you do the whole day yesterday, anyway?"

Arki went in and took out a box of Chuckie to drink, lumakad siya patungo sa
counter table at kumuha ng saging sa fruit basket.

"Swimming!" I answered Papa.

He's not like Mommy who wants detailed information about my day.

"Swimming lang daw!" Arki mocked as he peeled the banana. "She was a baby sitter
yesterday, Tito!"

"Arki!" inis kong saway. "That's not baby sitting!"

"Adult sitting?" he raised a brow teasingly.

My forehead wrinkled, I felt the tension in my chest as I realized what he meant.

Adult sitting, what the hell? He's so annoying!

Nagpapalit ang tingin ni Papa sa amin, nakakalat din ang ibang tiyuhin at tiyahin
namin sa area kaya nakakahiya na marinig nila ang pinagsasabi ni Arki. Gusto ko na
siyang sabunutan ngayon at kurutin sa kadaldalan pero bakit ako defensive? Lalo
lang ako aasarin.
"Adult sitting?" tawa ni Tito Rius. "I remember Chandria adult sitting me after my
second heart transplant and we ended up having Fifth. So who are you adult sitting,
Pallavi? Huh?"

"Oh my gold, why are you talking with those terms? You're making it sound like she
has a Sugar Dad!" Capriana rolled her eyes and went out of the area.

Nagtawanan sila, awkward akong nakisali sa tawanan.

"Lovice is adult sitting me 'til now because I'm her baby!" Tito Horace intervened
as he sipped on his juice.

I gasped while shaking my head. "I'm not baby nor adult sitting anyone! Arki's just
too malicious!"

"Sino ba 'yon, Ark?" tanong ni Bhaltie mula sa sala.

Namataan ko si Jace sa tabi niya, kadaldalan ang kapatid na si Constance. I rolled

my eyes at Bhaltie.

The guesthouse has no divisions, iyong mga kuwarto lang ang hiwalay at sa second
floor lahat pero rito sa ibaba ay malawak na palapag at magkakasama ang dining area
at sala.

"Estrevillo rin!"

Seriously? Pagtapos niyang sabihin na tini-train ako ni Chancent maging yaya,

ngayon naman papalabasin niyang may gusto ako roon?

"Hala, nanunuhog ng mga Estrevillo! Kayo, ha!" tukso ni Tita Bistre. "Ikaw,
Capriana? Sinong tutuhugin mo? Si Estong gunggong?"

Uminit ang pisngi ko, I sipped on my glass of water and glared at Arki who's
dropping every single of my dignity.

Capriana groaned loudly. "Estong is far from my type, Momsy! Stop teasing that
creature to me! I'm sure you wouldn't like him for me!"

"Ba't naman? Hindi porque pangit si Estong ay aayawan ko na. Ikaw muna aayaw,
siyempre."

The other uncles were eating in peace while talking about other businesses like
work and hobbies while the others were listening to Arki's teases.

Papa's eyes were on me, he's waiting for my confirmation.

"Lagot, Ate!" halakhak ni Arki. "Unica hija ni Tito Dence, nagdadalaga na!"

I flinched. "Stop it! Chancent is just a friend, okay? Bawal ba makipagkaibigan?"

"You're not friendly!"

I frowned and shrugged. "He's a nice guy. There's an exception."

Heat electrified my cheeks up, why did I say it like that? They would put more
malicious on it!

"Naging exception pa nga!" mapang-asar na sigaw ni Bhaltie habang hinihilot ang

braso ni Capriana na nakadapa sa couch.
Arki winked and clicked his tongue at him. "See?"

I hate him today for putting me in the attention. Kakagising ko lang at ganito ang
matatanggap ko! What did I do to him?

I gasped and glared at him, the glare I always give to anyone I can't hit with my
annoyance. I shouldn't hurt my annoying cousins just because they're teasing me, I
hate being sensitive. I just don't like being in the middle of attention.

"You are so malicious!" I said before leaving the area, I went upstairs along with
my heavy steps.

"Mapang-asar ka Archelaus! Tigilan mo ang pagmamatyag sa mga pinsan mo! Ano ka

matanglawin?" saway ni Tita Fab ang huling nahagip ng pandinig ko.

I hate it when someone's speculating things I do but maybe it was obvious and
Arki's really observant. He's a man after all, he knows the same acts and moves.
But... Chancent? He moves that way to anyone, I won't be an exception!

My days with Villareals resumed like an ocean waves that I couldn't help but feel
every detail of a good day and I'll surely treasure the memories.

Mommy was calling to check on me everynight and it was kinda annoying. She wouldn't
really let me have my holidays without reminding me to do things I only know right
and don't drain myself. She sounded concerned but insulting for me, how could she
say that as if I was in the wrong circle of people here?

Seriously, this is what I can call home
their side. It's so unfair. I think I'd
Papa, maybe this is how my life goes...
a failure the next morning, no one will
as Miramontes.
more than what Miramontes made me feel on
be in more better place if Mommy gave me to
enjoying the days without thinking of being
blame me because they are not judgemental

Papa never made me see that failure is already a downfall without a way back, that
a failure is a deep well with no hope and that it can't be saved anymore—instead,
he wants me to see it in a positive way that will encourage me to try again until a
failure turns a lesson behind my success in the future.

It feels like a heartbreak that I'm trying and doing my very best but still
unappreciated, still need to exceed until I meet their high expectations—still need
to be worth to call, a Miramontes.

I never liked Political Science as my college program, honestly. But because they
are known as family of lawyers, I need to be one.

I watched how the sun goes down to settle the night for today, it was sad but
relieving. I sucked a deep breath and closed my eyes, silently wishing that my
coming year would go without a problem—it was already my routine to wish while
watching the sunset.

I have no more prayers but just better next years until I finish college to become
a lawyer.

I'll be okay. I'll be good.

"Are you okay?" Chancent asked me as we started leaving the Baywalk where we spent
the time to watch the sunset.
My forehead crumpled as I lifted my eyes to him.

"Why did you ask? Do I look not?"

He shrugs. "Slight, you seem lonely. Kasama mo naman ako. Bakit?"

Natawa ako.

"Nothing. I just can't help thinking about next year, college life sucks! I just
wanna die and live again after law school!"

"Don't take it spiritually, Sileas. Just enjoy while walking into your goal and
you'll be relieved. Stop thinking as if everything will fall into wrong places."

"But what if it does?" I sighed heavily and chuckled my nervous out.

I don't trust myself into something I did not even want, I'm just doing my part to
be a worthy member of Miramontes. I felt the ripping heart inside my chest that's
taking me to nowhere but pain of being the unholy mess of my mother.

Why am I the one who's suffering? Why am I the one who should exceed more to be a
trusted daughter and granddaughter? Wala naman akong kasalanan, pinanganak lang
ako.

"Just trust yourself, it won't fail you."

I sighed again along with the fall of my shoulders while walking, the wind blows my
hair to the left. I tucked it behind my ear and glanced at Chancent beside me, I
caught him hiding some glimpses at me that made him clear his throat and looked on
our way.

"Why are you always stealing glances? That's bad!" I joked.

Hindi ko inalis ang baling sa kanya kahit nakakangawit ng leeg na tumingala para
lang makita ang mga ekspresyon niya. He was smirking, binulsa niya ang mga kamay sa
sweatshorts.

"I'm not good at eye to eye contact, I had to steal."

I gasped with a sarcastic laugh.

"That's a lie! Paano nangyari 'yon? Hindi ka nakikipag eye contact sa mga
girlfriends mo? How odd!"

"Girlfriends talaga, Sileas?" pasinghap niya tawa na tila hindi makapaniwala.

I pouted and nodded.

He rolled his eyes sluggishly and looked away. "Wala nga akong girlfriend, baka
gusto mong mag-apply." He laughed. "Joke!"

"No, thanks! We just knew each other 'bout days ago! At hindi ka naman kumpanya
para pag-apply-an! Mostly, I don't wanna be on your list of girlfriends every
month!"

He laughed loudly.

"Okay, everything's harsh! You knew me 'bout days ago but not my whole life
existence, I was never a boy who plays barbie. Patch is just really malicious about
being friendly, when in fact she has never seen me kissing girls. And for hell's
sake, I have a sister who I don't wanna pay back for my bad doings 'coz karma is an
asshole."

My lips separated, hindi ko alam kung matatawa ako o ano pero mas lamang na
natutuwa akong iniisip niya ang kapatid niyang babae na babalikan ng karma kapag
nanloko siya.

He shrugs. "Look at her now even with a not really good attitude, happily taken by
a good man."

"That's sweet!" I lauded.

He arched his brow, I could see how defined his jaw line when it clenched as his
lips smirked sexily.

My cheeks filled up a heat down to my nape as if every part was touched by

electricity, I shuddered. Bumusangot ako sa sariling alon ng dibdib, hindi na rin
ako nagdugtong pa ng sasabihin.

Another day with him was spent well and normally, sa sumunod na araw ay kasama ko
ang pamilya sa paggagala sa isla.

Masaya ang aming bakasyon sa buong unang linggo sa Bantayan Island, iyon lang ay
palungkot nang palungkot ang isip ko na bilang na lang sa mga daliri ang itatagal
ko kasama sila. I'll probably go straight home from Cebu to Davao after January
three, hindi na ako sasama sa Maynila pabalik. That's Papa's deal with Mommy when
they talked.

I spent the days with my relatives, we wandered around again and took complete
family pictures on the shore of each resorts here.

My heart was fluttering sadly as started taking candid shots of my cousins who are
busy playing ball in the shallow part of the sea. May cottage kami malapit sa
dagat, Troi and Brillante were staying there with the Aunties and Uncles who were
having fun while drinking.

"That's enough, Pallavi! You're not a paparazzi!" sigaw ni Patch. "Come here and
play with us!"

I smiled widely and jerked my head slightly to let her know I wasn't interested in
playing ball. Umirap siya at bumalik sa paglalaro, I resumed taking pictures around
especially the views. I'm just using my iPhone's cam since I didn't bring a camera.

They also played a weird game that they call Punch the Match. Arki was crouching as
Fifth supported Diamante to sit on Arki's nape, ganoon din ang ginawa ni Patch sa
balikat naman ni Bhaltie. Capriana was just cheering them.

"Go, Dia and Arki!"

I grinned.

"They're playing Punch the Match, Kuya!"

I turned around and found Philo with Troilus, they were sitting on the lounger.
Troi looks like he's also watching from a far but I know that he could just really
take his disability like normal. He nodded at Philo.

"Don't you wanna join them?" Troi asked quietly.

"I'm fine here, my skin is already hurting from sunburnt."

Troi chuckled. "Maybe you didn't put some sunscreen."

"Boys don't put sunscreen, I didn't see you putting before swimming!"

Philo really wants to be like Troi, tuwing umaga nga ay iyon agad ang pinupuntahan
niya sa sala o 'di kaya si Primmie—sila parati ang magkakausap.

"I don't need to take care of my skin. Hindi ko naman nakikita kung anong
pagkakaiba ng walang sunscreen, sa mayroon." Tahimik na tawa ni Troi, nilingon niya
si Philo. "Do I look bad after swimming under the sun?"

Philo giggled while looking at Troi.

"You still look like Tito Primo—" He quickly covered his mouth and flinched. "I
mean, you're still handsome as the usual!"

Troi rolled his eyes and ran his fingers through his hair that was blown by the
harsh wind.

"Do I really look like Mr. Primo?" he asked icily.

I chuckled and sat on the other sun lounger, nilingon ni Troi ang pinanggalingan ng
maliit kong tawa.

"Yes, Kuya! Right, Ate Pal?" Philo noticed me.

I nodded. Philo motioned his hand for me to voice it out, oo nga pala. Hindi naman
nakikita ni Troi ang tango ko.

"Yes, you look like him! But why do you call him Mr. Primo?" natatawa kong tanong.

"I'm used to it, I grew up calling him that name," he tsked.

"Tito Primo is handsome, Kuya!" Philo said. "You are a bit taller than him and
tanned now. You also have the same style while talking, you're both masungit!"

Troi flinched. "Not true."

Nagtawanan kami ni Philo.

"When are you going to take a surgery, Troi?" I asked after a moment of silence.

He shrugged only. Saan ang hindi masungit diyan?

"Ayaw mo ba makakita?" muli kong subok.

Todo ang pakikinig ni Philo, nakatingin kay Troilus na tila malungkot siya sa
kalagayan nito.

Kumunot ang noo ni Troi.

"I'm not hoping for a vision anymore, I grew up like this."

"Pero sabi ni Papa, may chance naman kaso ayaw mo pa raw!"

He chuckled gruffly. "Yeah, I'm not yet ready to see what's around."
"Sayang naman 'yong pagkakataon na puwede ka na makakita! You should see your face,
you're so handsome."

He frowned.

I laughed. "Besides, you can study more with vision!"

Huminga lang siya ng malalim at humilig sa sandalan ng sun lounger, napangiti ako
nang tumingala siya at pumikit para damhin ang sinag ng araw. I think he wasn't
totally blind, ang sabi ni Papa ay nakakaaninag naman siya ng liwanag pero hindi
tuluyang itim gaya sa ibang kaso ng bulag. He has a chance!

Silaw ako sa sinag ng araw habang tinatanaw ang mga pinsan ko na naglalaro sa
dalampasigan, tumatakbo sila Clemeth at Louvenia habang hinahabol ni Spike.
Nakisali rin si Arki roon pero tinuya siya ng mga bata at tinaboy.

"You're old enough to be with us! Get out, freak!" Louvenia said, she's just
twelve.

"You're old enough to play habulan, too! Did I complain?" pang-aasar ni Arki.

"Urgh! I hate you, Arki paniki!"

Tumawa ako at napailing, bakit pa ba ako nagtataka na ayaw nila kay Arki? Sobrang
mapang-asar kahit bata pinapatulan!

I inhaled deeply and decided to pull my hair up into a bun even when it's frizzy
from the salt water and sand. Binabaan ko ng tingin ang dibdib ko, muli kong
binitiwan ang buhok upang ayusin ang bikini top na medyo bumaba bago pinagpatuloy
ang pagtatali sa buhok.

"Ate..." Philo was hissing in a whisper.

Nilingon ko siya at pinagkunutan ng noo, he was pointing his lips somewhere. I

pouted and looked at where he's pointing while pulling my hair up.

"Your boyfriend," he said in a whisper again.

My chest heaved when I saw Chancent, meters away from where I'm sitting. Kunot pa
rin ang noo ko at nakataas ang mga kamay sa buhok nang magkatinginan kami.

I blinked.

He wiggled his thick brows and took his left hand out of his pants pocket to wave a
little at me. I just noticed that he's wearing a pair of casual outfit today, white
short sleeves button down shirt and a faded jeans.

"Hi." He mouthed and smiled boyishly.

Saan kaya ang lakad nito?

Kaswal akong tumayo at habang inaayos ang buhok ay nagmartsa palapit sa kanya, he
watched me with a little pout of his lips as I walked towards him. My face heated,
I don't usually get conscious but I feel dirty at the moment. Natapos ko ang
pagtatali ng buhok bago pa makalapit.

"Hey!" I said when I stopped in front of him and put my hand on my waist while my
other hand was fixing my bun and eyes were scanning him. "Why are you so casual
today?"

He chuckled a bit.

"I'm going back to the city, Mama had an attack earlier."

Hindi ako nakapagsalita, hindi ko rin alam ang sasabihin pero ramdam ko ang
bahagyang paglungkot ng araw.

"K-Kayo ng Mama mo?"

"Including Papa and Nyxinea, but the others will stay here 'til New Year."

"Sorry to hear that, I hope she'll be fine."

"Thanks," he exhaled heavily with a smile. "And I hope you enjoy your whole holiday
season with your family."

I nodded and smiled. "Thanks, Chancent. Aalis na ba kayo?"

"Yes, I just passed by to see you before leaving." He grinned cheekily.

I groaned and rolled my eyes.

"Hindi tatalab sa akin 'yan!"

He really looks so good while smiling or even grinning like a devil in disguise,
his hair suits him but I wanna see how he looks like in a bit longer hair and clean
cut.

"I know!"

I pouted and looked at him again.

"Have a happy new year!"

Marahan siyang humimas sa kanyang batok at nagbaba ng tingin, bahagyang pinaglaruan

ng sapatos ang malambot na buhangin.

"Will you still reply?"

My brow furrowed, medyo natatawa ako.

"What do you mean?"

He sighed. "I mean, even after the holidays. Can I still reach you?"

My heart heated up to my cheeks, sumikip ang paghinga ko at hindi agad nakasagot sa

kanya pero pinanatili ko ang aliw kunwari sa ekspresyon ko. I'm so thankful that I
have never been so obvious as what's happening inside my chest.

I grinned and thumbs up, bumaling ako sa dagat kung nasaan ang mga pinsan ko.

"Of course!" I said gleefully while watching my cousins, I saw Patch looking at us
but she instantly went back to what they were playing.

Napakurap-kurap ako pero pinagkibit balikat na lamang iyon at nilingon si Chancent

na ngayon ay nanonood din sa nagkakasiyahan.
"Have a safe flight..."

#UM8
#UM8

Chancent left with his family exactly that day, it was kinda... disappointing? I
don't know. I just felt like I should've spent the week knowing him more because I
know that it would be the only remaining days that we could get talk and see each
other. It was the only time of chances.

Sayang pero ayos lang. Bakit ba ako nasasayangan?

I shrugged the thought, at least I got to know him and I got to like his company
eventually. I can't believe that I hated his wittiness at the first pages of
introduction that makes me laugh now. I said that I don't really like the air of
witty guys because they seem sarcastic everytime, they use any shade of sarcasm to
sound funny but I guess it wasn't bad if you already know the person.

"Mama was already free from her phobia, we didn't also expect that she'd get a
sudden attack anywhere now. Actually, I had a talk with her when we went home..."
he sighs with tone of sadness. "She said that she feared the sand, until now she
couldn't sleep well because of fear to see her dreams."

"Did you bring her to the doctor?"

"Yup, she's under counseling with the psychiatrist again."

"She'll be fine."

"Thanks, I appreciate that." He chuckled.

I just smiled while listening as he continued talking about things. Our call lasted
for almost an hour before calling out the day. Since he left Bantayan Island, he
keeps on contacting me even on social media. Madalas siyang magreply sa Instagram
stories ko, he always starts a talk that I really consider because I never
initiated a talk.

Kung hindi ako kakausapin, walang usap. Kung walang magf-first move, walang
mangyayari. Ganoon lang iyon, I know my worth as a girl and a woman that should not
be chasing any man's attention. For me, that's decency.

Well, everyone has their own opinion about woman's decency. I don't judge those who
chase for love and attention.

The remaining days continued to run around happiness and fun with the Villareals,
it feels surreal each morning until the night closes sadly for a new next day—
another day has gone memorably.

"How did you know Heidden, ang layo mo sa Cebu or Makati!" Capriana said.

"Sa New York, doon naman siya noon para sa masteral niya. Nakilala ko siya dahil sa
isang common friend na relative din nila!"

I took a sip on my mango home made shake and replied on Chancent.

Ako:
We're having a good time at the shore, they prepared bonfire.

Chancent:
That's good. Enjoy, then.

I smiled and replied, thank you.

"Tapos?"

"Ayun, hiningi ko number niya noong medyo tipsy na ako. Hindi ko nga rin maalala
'yong part na 'yon kasi malabo na!" halakhak ni Patch, nakahilig ang siko sa hita
ni Heidden na nakikinig at natatawa lang.

"Really? Ang kapal! Oh my gold!" Capriana gasped in disbelief.

"Hindi ka naman naturn-off, Heid?" tanong ni Dia habang natatawa.

Patch rolled her eyes. "Bakit naman? Ang ganda ng humingi ng number niya, 'no! Baka
nga tinawag niya pang lucky night iyon ng buhay niya!"

Nagtawanan sila.

Heidden grinned. "Actually, I gave her a wrong number. No offense, I just really
think that she was too young for me and I didn't really like brats."

Wow, I didn't expect that story behind them. Basically, Patch was the first one to
show interest and Heidden was obviously an asshole. Why would he give another
number? Puwede namang hindi na lang!

Tumawa sila Arki.

"Still, you did! We never had to witness and guide her while growing, hindi ka muna
nagisa bago maging boyfriend n'yan!"

"You can grill me anytime! Hands up!" Heidden chuckled. "But she's really childish
'til now!"

"Three years lang naman ang gap n'yo!"

"Yeah! Ginago niya ako noon, he gave me Chance's number!" si Patch. "Siraulo pa
naman 'yon! Kaya pala tuwing sasabihin ko na magkita kami, umaayaw at tinatawanan
lang ako! I started to realize that it wasn't Heidden when he texted me "I'm sorry,
Miss. I have no time to fill your interest anymore. Let's break up." seriously!
That was fucking hilarious and annoying!"

Lalo silang nagtawanan.

"After a week, he texted me using his real number na. Me; being marupok, I replied.
Mind you, I was just eighteen that time and he's already old! Ang totoo, gusto ko
lang talaga ng lalaking long hair! Ganoon ang type ko, e!"

"O, paano naman nagwork ang relationship na 'yon? Long distance?"

"Oo, long distance talaga! We were talking for four months until I turned nineteen,
he went back to New York and invited me to eat somewhere. That's it! It started
like that, I forced him to be my boyfriend!"

"Forced talaga?"

"Oo, ganoon siya katorpe! Ako na ang nagfirst move! Hindi naman uso ligawan doon
'tsaka obvious na gusto niya rin ako!"
"Hindi siya torpe, baka hindi lang siya interested masyado sayo!" asar ni Bhaltie.

They laughed loudly, I chuckled.

"Epal ka!"

"Or maybe, he doesn't want a girl who moves first! Bakit hindi mo hinintay na
lang?" Fifth said in dismay, but it wasn't serious.

Heidden was puckering his lips to hide his laugh while nodding jokingly, sinamaan
siya ng tingin ni Patch at doon siya natawa.

"But it's alright! We're happily together now!" Patch spat in defense. "We're good
in both family sides!"

That's enough, though. Mas importante naman kung ano sila ngayon at walang
nagkakasakitan, they're lucky to have approval and support from both families. That
really matters, even how much some people say that it doesn't matter if the family
didn't give their acceptance to your relationship because it's not them you'll
marry—it would still affect what you're building together because family is a blood
that we can't just remove from our lives, their acceptance is also a key for us to
live smoothly. Ang hirap at bigat kaya sa pakiramdam na may kaaway sa pamilya,
kahit isa pa iyan o ilan.

"Yeah, that's more important!" Dia agreed and clapped. "Gaano katagal na ba kayo?"

"Eleven months!" Patch said endearingly.

I smiled, I'm happy for her that she found someone she really likes. Kahit hindi
ako pabor sa kuwento nila, wala naman akong magagawa roon. We didn't grow up on the
same ground, nagdalaga kami sa magkaibang opinyon at pananaw.

We all have differences, anyway.

New Year's Eve came, we all got ready for it. We were wearing clothes with the same
color yellow, it was the Aunties' idea so we'd be uniformed in the pictures. Tito
Cali and family finally joined us to celebrate their New Year with the whole
Villareal family.

They were so busy cooking different dishes, baking desserts and grilling.
Tumutulong sila Arki sa pag-iihaw sa labas para mapabilis, Bhaltie was busy talking
with the Aunties in the kitchen. Nakikipagtawanan siya sa mga iyon habang
tumutulong din sa paghihiwa at pag-aabot ng mga sangkap.

Ngumuso ako at tumungo sa sala, umupo ako sa couch at nakisali sa mga mas
nakababatang pinsan doon. Brillante was busy with her laptop on the other couch,
katabi ko naman si Spike na nagkukuwento kila Philo.

"Tito Spade is my Dad's twin brother, he was a famous band vocalist and Tita Beauty
is a famous actress!"

"Tito Speed is the only normal sibling!" Louvenia said. "He has no talent, that's
why!"

Humagalpak sa tawa sila Spike at Philo.

"You're so harsh to Papa! He has a talent. If washing dishes, clothes and cleaning
the house, isn't. I don't know what talent is now!"
"Well, I'm saying real talent like singing, dancing and acting! We cannot be a
celebrity by just washing the dishes and clothes!" Louvenia defended with an eye
roll. "He's the one without a name in the industry!"

"Mayroon! He's one of the richest members of the elite family! He doesn't need to
be known as a celebrity, he already got a slot as a rich man! You'll see him in
magazines with the whole Cojuangcos!" Spike said. "Actually, we'll be having a
photoshoot for a magazine New Year cover on January!"

Louvenia frowned. "Okay! So, my parents are the ones who aren't influential! We
didn't have a call for that! I don't care!"

Nagtawanan sila.

"You're just bitter!"

"Mayaman din naman kami! Papa has a yacht!"

"I didn't say you're poor!"

"You're making it sounds like that because we're not in magazines like you!"

Ngumiwi ako. Are they fighting now? How can I stop these kids, though. Ayaw kong
mapahiya, hindi naman sila malapit sa akin dahil hindi nila ako nakilala bilang
pinsan habang lumalaki.

"Louvenia, stop making a fuss about it," saway ni Primmie. "Some family in
magazines won't make you less human, being not in it doesn't mean you're poor and
being poor shouldn't be an insult to call someone out."

Louvenia's cheeks reddened in embarrassment while glaring on her feet.

"Primeveire, she's just a kid," ani Brillante habang nasa laptop pa rin ang
paningin.

"Well, I didn't say anything bad. I just wanna let them hear it so they'd stop that
childish bragging thing. It's annoying."

I took a deep breath and just checked my cell phone, tumayo na rin ako para lumabas
dahil mas kinakabahan ako kapag kaharap ang mga hindi ko kalapit na pinsan. Parang
hindi ko sila puwedeng sawayin kahit mas nakatatanda ako dahil mapapahiya ako, I
don't like that feeling.

"I wanna drink so bad!" Dia was groaning as she drank a juice.

"E, 'di uminom ka!"

"Baka mamaya na lang after ng New Year countdown, ayaw kong makatulugan iyon!"

"Magsisindi ka ba ng Belt ni Judas?" halakhak ni Bhaltie, nandito na rin pala sa

labas at nag-iihaw.

"Belt ni Judas, tangina!" tawa ni Arki.

"Sinturon!" pagbabago ni Bhaltie na lalo nilang kinatawa.

"Zinthurown! Susyal naman ng sinturon na 'yan!" pang-aasar ni Callistaire.

"Manahimik ka!" ani Bhaltie sabay turo ng karton na pinangpapaypay niya sa iniihaw.
"Ang bully n'yo!" tawa ni Patch.

I was chuckling while finding a seat, naupo ako sa isang monoblock na malapit sa
kanila. Capriana was so relaxed, lying on the sun lounger while staring at the dark
sky above. Kausap niya si Diamante at nagtatawanan sila.

"Ganyan sila!" Bhaltie shook his head.

"Huwag ka na kasi mag-Tagalog! Ang weird!"

"I'm still learning!"

"'Di ba diretso na 'yan last year? Nawala lang si Merrigan, ganyan na ulit!" asar
ni Fifth.

"Weh!" Bhaltie spat in annoyance.

And who's Merrigan? Sounds familiar.

"Where's Merrigan, by the way?" Patch asked curiously.

Kilala niya? So, ako lang ang hindi nakakakilala?

Bhaltie sighed. "Still, mourning."

My phone vibrated, I quickly checked it.

Quentin:
Have a good New Year, let's meet before you go back to Davao. Until when will you
be staying here?

I bit my lips and replied.

Ako:
Baka hanggang January 3 lang ako.

Quentin:
Alright, I'll message you if the day isn't too busy. I'll be in Davao on Feb,
anyway.

Ako:
Alright! Let's see each other in Davao, then.

Quentin:
Maybe, but still looking forward to meet you here.

I smiled, another text popped-up.

Chancent:
Saw your stories, how's the day going? :)

Ako:
Masaya pa rin! How about yours? Kumusta ang Mom mo?

Chancent:
She's fine now, she just doesn't wanna go out. It's good that our grandparents and
her brother are here to celebrate the New Year with us.
Ako:
Good to hear that.

Chancent:
Any plans after New Year?

Natawa ako, pinigilan ko agad ang weirdong pagbungisngis.

Ako:
Matutulog kasi puyat? Haha.

Chancent:
Nice try but not funny.

I frowned.

Ako:
K.

Not funny pala, bakit niya pa ako kinakausap?

Chancent:
Toyo?

Kumunot ang noo ko.

Ako:
Anong toyo?

Ano na namang pinagsasabi nito? Minsan talaga may weird words siya na sinasabi at
hindi ko maintindihan. Para saan ang toyo?

Chancent:
Haha, nevermind. Answer my question, please.

Ako:
I'll go back to Davao and will get ready for back to school mode.

Chancent:
No plan to go back to Manila and visit your father?

Ako:
I still don't know, ang alam ko kasi babalik sila ng States dahil may pinoproseso
pa sa school ni Philo.

Chancent:
Sad.

Nanliit ang mga mata ko.

Ako:
Bakit sad?

Chancent:
Nothing. I'll just visit Davao one of these months.

Ako:
Really? Anong gagawin mo sa Davao? Work?
Chancent:
Yup, project purposes.

Ako:
What did you study?

Halos dalawang linggo na rin kaming magkakilala at magkausap, hindi lang talaga ako
matanong tungkol sa buhay niya. Wala rin kaming gaanong pinag-uusapan, kundi
tungkol sa pag-aaral ko at hobbies ay wala nang iba pa. He's a curious man, though.
Matanong pero hindi naman ako naiinis.

Chancent:
Entrepreneurship.

Okay, wow. Hey, businessman. I smirked as I typed my reply.

Ako:
May kumpanya ba kayo sa Davao?

Kung may kumpanya sila roon, hindi nga malabo na puwede siyang magpunta o bumisita.

Chancent:
Thanks for asking that. I need to do something, I'll get back to you later. ;)

Kunot na kunot ang noo ko habang binasa pa ulit ang text niya. Seriously? Ano iyon?
Busy ba siya? Pinagkibit balikat ko iyon kalaunan. Bahala siya sa buhay niya.

My attention went back to my cousins, they were laughing and I didn't get to hear
what they were talking about now. Hindi ako nakasunod dahil sa cell phone ang
atensyon kani-kanina.

"Getting to know each other?" Patch asked beside me, she held out a barbecue for me
and I took it.

I pouted and shrugged.

"For friendship."

She flinched and took a bite on her barbecue. "Oh, well. I hope so. Chance is
really a playboy and I don't want him for you."

I laughed a bit.

"I don't care if he's a play boy, Patch. We're just friends, you know. Kung play
boy siya, problema iyon ng mga babae niya."

"And you'll be one of them," she joked.

I gasped out and clenched my running out thoughts that I need to keep in. I didn't
like her joke, to be honest. Does she think I don't know what I'm into?

"I know what I'm doing, I won't be one of those fools. I'm better than that."

She looked away and nodded, I could still see the doubt and sarcasm there.

"I'm just warning you about him, Pallavi. I don't mean anything bad. Just be
careful, sayang naman kung siya lang ang magiging first boyfriend mo. It's not
worth it."
Tuluyang kumunot ang noo ko habang nakatitig sa kanya at nakikinig.

Seriously? Ganito ba siya manira ng kaibigan? I thought they were friends, noong
una mukhang biro lang ang mga sinasabi at paninira niya kay Chance pero ngayon
parang seryoso na iyon at hindi makatarungan sa nakilala kong Chancent.

"He won't be my boyfriend, why are you excited about our coming relationship? Wala
pa nga kami sa stage na ligawan, Patch. Masyadong advanced." Natatawa kong sinabi,
pigil ang iritasyon.

Ayaw ko talaga na pinapangunahan ang lahat sa akin kahit na pinag-iingat niya lang
ako, nakakainis kasi na parang pinipilit niyang mahuhulog ako sa bagay na wala pa
naman. And what is it to her if I did? I'm the one who'll fall in his trap, not
her! Ako naman ang masasaktan kung sakaling madismaya ako, hindi naman siya. Can't
she just stay in her relationship with Heidden? Doon siya mamroblema, hindi dapat
sa akin.

Though, I understand that she's a concerned cousin but it's unreasonable for me to
believe her when Chancent has never done something wrong yet.

She shrugged and smirked.

"Don't get my intention wrong, we're cousins and I don't want you to be used for
anything. He has a lot of potential to hurt you."

I smiled and nodded.

"Thank you."

I don't wanna ruin my New Year with them by just this simple argument about
somebody, pinilit kong pakalmahin ang lahat ng iritasyon at pagtataka sa aking
isipan. Hindi ko alam kung bakit bothered ako sa dumaang oras, parang ayaw kong
makausap si Chancent kaya kahit nagtext na ulit siya ay hindi ko na lang pinansin
para lang hindi ko maalala na iritado ako.

Our night continued, we had dinner together happily. It was really fun and enjoy
that I got to have shots with an older family members, they were so open and they
seemed like just our friends that made me feel so unchained from everything's
holding my hands together in one place only. Here, with them? I can laugh with a
loud tone and can move like a kitten from cage.

It was a pure happiness and joy.

The countdown to New Year started, I pushed myself between Papa and Tita Fili
excitedly as we keep counting the seconds. Tita Fili hugged my waist and Papa put
his arm on my shoulder and kissed my cheek. I smiled widely.

"I love you!" I giggled, I kissed their both cheeks. "Hope to have more holidays
with you, this is the best New Year for me!"

Everyone was so busy counting and shouting until the time strikes twelve, my heart
started the year so happy and bright!

"Happy New Year!"

A memorable New Year, indeed. I immediately dialed Mommy's number to greet her, I
was smiling but she didn't answer it that made me hold my breath. Maingat akong
lumayo sa mga kasama dahil sobrang ingay na nila, mabuti na lang at hindi uso sa
amin ang paputok. Tanging mga pambata lang ang kanilang binili para kila Philo at
sa iba pa.

I tried to call Gunther, hindi rin iyon nasagot kaya wala akong choice kundi
tawagan si Gabanni. Hindi naman ako binigo noon kaya lumapad ang ngiti ko nang
sagutin niya.

"Hello, Ate! Happy New Year!" I said cheerfully while covering my other ear to hear
her clearly.

Pinanood ko ang mga kamag-anak ko na nagkakasiyahan, Tita Fili kissed Papa's cheek
and lips as she greeted him a 'happy new year' that made me smile. Sunod niyang
hinalikan ang pisngi ni Philo.

"Why did you call?"

I held my breath and swallowed.

"Uhm... si Mommy? Gusto ko lang sana siyang batiin, hindi kasi masagot ang tawag
ko. Hindi yata naririnig?" I decided to calm my embarrassment down.

"We're really busy here. Don't start the New Year looking for more attention. Just
call her tomorrow."

I gasped, I was about to say sorry but she already ended the call. My heart
clenched tightly, I could feel the twist of pain and sadness within me. Uminit ang
mga mata ko, I inhaled deeply and exhaled.

"You called Gabbana?"

I almost jumped in surprise when I heard Papa, I immediately put a forced smile on
my lips even when my heart's twisting.

"Yes, I just greeted her!"

He nodded and smiled. "That's good. What did she say?"

I shrugged and looked at my cell phone, I received a text from Chancent.

Chancent:
Happy New Year, Sileas. :)

I took a deep breath and smiled at Papa.

"Happy New Year."

He smiled and caressed my hair until my cheeks.

"You'll always be my favorite, Pallavi. Don't ever think bad about yourself."

I nodded. "Thank you, Pa!"

He sighed with a gentle smile.

"Your mother might be a monster sometimes but she never thought bad about you, too.
She still raised you into a beautiful girl."

"Yes, she's a monster sometimes..." I whispered jokingly.

But I love her, still.

We both laughed.

"Beautiful monster!" he said.

"Is that the reason why you didn't end up?" pabiro ko pa ring tanong.

"We were never meant to be, I think, because before she even met me—she already
married the one she really loves. Kung mayroong may kasalanan, ako lang 'yon."

I closed my eyes and smiled, I shook my head a bit.

"Pa, let's stop talking about it. I'll ask you some other time to tell your story!"

I've been so curious about them, I just don't like to hear it now because I'll be
sad. Marami pa akong maitatanong kaya baka maging malungkot lang ang pasok ng
bagong taon ko lalo.

"Alright, I'll gladly do that!"

He chuckled and pulled me into hug before he dragged me into the crowded Villareals
to continue our celebration. I gave a hug to my cousins, aunties and uncles, one by
one.

It's still the happiest New Year I've ever had.

#UM9
#UM9

Instead of calling Mommy again, I decided to just send her a greeting text. Sobrang
sakit ng ulo ko sa sumunod na araw kaya buong maghapon akong tulog at hindi ko
inaasahan na buhay na naman ang mga pinsan ko kinagabihan noon at pinagpatuloy ang
inuman.

I went downstairs with only pair of black spaghetti strap and pajamas, I was eating
grapes while searching for something to eat more in the fridge. Kung hindi pa ako
tinawagan ni Chancent ay baka hindi ko na naisipang kumain. Although, he didn't
really mean that. He just missed a call.

Nakita kong kumuha ng ilang tinidor si Bhaltie, napansin niya ako at nginisian.

"Hungry?"

I nodded.

"Maraming food diyan, we bought another set of supplies for the next days here.
Don't starve yourself."

I nodded again and smiled. "Thank you. Kayo? Walang katapusang inuman?"

Humalakhak siya.

"We can't drink after holidays again, unless there's an occasion and it's Arki's
birthday today."

My mouth dropped and I remembered it. "Oh my, God! I forgot!"

"It's okay, he's celebrating it this way!"

"I don't have a gift!"

Hindi ko man lang naisip na mamili ng pangregalo, kahit noong pasko. Si Papa lang
ang naalala kong bigyan ng relo, matagal ko na rin siyang gustong bigyan ng relo
pero hindi kami nagkikita noong nakaraang mga buwan. I should've bought two
wristwatch, para mayroon din si Arki. 'Di bale, mamimili na lang ako pag nakauwi ng
Davao. I can ship my gifts for them.

I miss shopping, too. I really need it after holidays.

Tumawa lang siya, saglit pa kaming nag-usap doon at nagtawanan.

"Where are the others?"

Nasa sala naman ang ilang bata at nanonood ng cartoons, pero mas lamang ang wala sa
guesthouse. Baka nasa backyard din?

"Roaming around the island!" lumakad na siya sa sliding door para makalabas nang
muli akong dungawin. "Join us out after eating!"

Tinanguan ko na lamang ang anyaya niya kahit wala akong plano, I just went down to
eat and rest again. I got so tired last night, umaga na ring natapos iyon kaya
nakakataka na mayroon pa silang lakas ngayon.

Naghanap ako ng maiaakyat na pagkain sa kuwarto para hindi na ako bababa kung
sakaling gutumin ulit, kumukulo kasi ang tiyan ko at batid kong epekto ng alak
iyon. It's acid, anyway. I didn't drink much but since I'm not used to drink any
liquor, I am easily affected.

"Oh shit!" I screamed. I almost jumped when I closed the fridge and met Heidden's
built behind me.

His hair was in a man bun tonight and newly faded sides, natawa siya sa pagkagulat
ko bago nagkibit balikat at pinunto ang kanyang hawak na bucket.

"Sorry to interrupt your searching, I'll just get something."

Napasinghap ako at agad umatras para hayaan siya sa fridge, kukuha siya ng ice
cubes. Kinuha ko ang gallon ng ice cream at saka naupo sa high stool. Sumulyap ako
sa ginagawa niya, abala siya sa paglalagay ng ice cubes sa bucket.

Nasaan kaya si Patch? Inutos-utusan na naman siguro siya noon, puwede namang siya
na lang ang gumawa. Bisita pa talaga ang pinakilos.

I started eating my ice cream quietly, saglit lang ang pagkuha ni Heidden ng ice
bago ako muling natamaan ng tingin nang isara ang fridge.

"Happy New Year," he greeted with a small smile while looking at me.

I nodded and smiled. "Happy New Year, too."

"Did you enjoy the beach?" he asked and looked at my arm that's really far from my
color on the shoulder part.

"Yeah, you?"

He looked at me again then my ice cream on the table. "Medyo, hindi kasi kami
kumpleto. If you heard about what happened..."
"Oh, I heard about it." I smiled sadly. "Hope she'll be fine."

"Thanks, she's fine now." He nodded and walked away with a chuckle. "Enjoy your ice
cream."

Kunot ang noo ko habang nakasunod ng tingin sa sliding door na pinaglabasan niya,
he sounds in a very good mood tonight more than the first meetings we had.

Maybe, his New Year's resolution? To be nice and warm? Friendly? Hmm, I guess so.

Umakyat ako sa kuwarto ulit pagtapos kumain para magpahinga at doon magpalipas oras
dahil ayaw kong mayaya roon sa labas, hindi ko alam na ganito ang epekto ng alak sa
katawan. Lahat pagod kinabukasan, I heard they call it hangover.

So yeah, I think I have a hangover.

My phone beeped, kinuha ko iyon sa side table at binasa.

Chancent:
Do you have a Facebook?

I chuckled and replied.

Ako:
Who doesn't have it?

Chancent:
Which social media are you active on?

Ako:
None.

Chancent:
So, phone texting?

Ako:
Most probably. I'm always with my cell phone but I don't use my social media
accounts that much. Why?

Chancent:
Wala lang, may matanong lang. :D

Natawa ako at napailing. Weird.

Ako:
Okay?

Chancent:
Saw your cousin's posts, seems like you're not with them. Where you at?

Ako:
Oo e, I still have hangover. Nasa kuwarto lang ako.

Chancent:
Have you eaten dinner?

Ako:
Yup!
He didn't reply and I think he's so busy.

I pouted and put my phone down on my stomach while looking at the ceiling fan. I
took a deep breath and checked my phone again, I opened my Instagram and clicked
Chancent's icon to show his IG stories. The first one is a video while Chance was
tickling the unfamiliar kid's armpit, the second is a family picture.

I can say that he looks like a mixture of his parents while his sister was her
Mom's carbon copy. Chancent's the tallest in their family, matangkad din ang Daddy
niya pero mas lamang siya ng ilang pulgada. Nakayakap ang Mama niya sa kanyang
baywang habang nakaakbay siya roon at nakahalik sa sentido.

I smiled. Awe, they looked sweet. He seems like a sweet son... and a Mommy's boy.

The last story was his parents on the high place—his Dad was hugging her Mom and
she was all smiles, behind them were colorful fireworks in the dark sky. He wrote a
short message; Happiest New Year to the best parents!

I giggled and replied on it.

Pallavillareal: So sweet!

I don't know if he's online, I decided to logged out and just scrolled down on the
Facebook feed. Of course, it was full of New Year photos from my friends. Most of
them celebrated the New Year formally in their beautiful mansion. Nakatanggap din
ako ng greetings mula sa mga kaeskwela ko, I just replied a simple greet back.

While busy scrolling down, a message popped up on my sceen.

Chancent:
What are you doing?

Wow, ang random niya talaga. Hindi siya nagreply kanina at magtitext bigla.

Ako:
Nothing, just lying in bed.

Chancent:
Are you gonna sleep now?

Ako:
Nope, nagpapahinga lang.

Chancent:
Alright.

I was hesitant to reply because I don't know what to say, but... okay.

Ako:
What 'bout you?

Chancent:
Drinking with Nyxinea and her boyfriend.

That's cute! He's close to her boyfriend, too. Hindi kaya madalas ang ganoon, mas
madalas iyong galit o bully sa nobyo ng kapatid.

Ako:
Okay.
Chancent:
So when are you going back to Davao?

Ako:
January 3, I think you asked this for four times now. Haha.

Chancent:
Really? Sorry, makakalimutin ako. :D

Ako:
Okay lang. Anyway, isn't that awkward that you're a third wheel?

Chancent:
A bit. Kaya kailangan ko na talaga magkagirlfriend. :D

Hindi ko alam kung matatawa ako o mapapairap na lang.

Ako:
You desperate flirt, you should take girls seriously. Not just because you envy
some people with relationships!

I can't understand play boys, seriously! How can they sleep at night knowing that
they fooled or hurting someone? For me, it causes a stone in the heart that gives a
heavy feeling everynight and that's the stab of conscience.

May iba kasing tao na gusto lang subukan ang pakiramdam na mayroong katuwang, iyong
mayroong nag-aalaga at nagmamahal pero kapag nagsawa na sila—mang-iiwan. Paano
naman iyong mga nagmahal talaga?

Kaya ang hirap talagang magtiwala ngayon, hindi mo alam kung sino iyong marunong
makuntento. Hindi naman kasi mapipili iyon, wala sa unahan ang kasiguruhan.

But I think, contentment can't be learned. Contentment is a heart's full intent and
purpose, it's within us that can't be voiced out because we wouldn't know when
we'll be contented for sure. Maraming hinahanap ang kakuntentuhan, e.

Chancent:
Here we are again. Sino bang nagsabing hindi ako nagseseryoso?

I gasped out and glared at my cell phone. Well, I've heard a lot about him. I've
got a lot of idea how asshole he is. It doesn't matter to me but I just want to
inform him that it's not really good to fool girls because karma is a slap of a
thunder. Ang sama-sama tuloy ng tingin ni Patch sa kanya.

Seriously, Sileas. You shouldn't care. Kung tamaan man siya ng karma, wala na ako
roon. Tama.

Ako:
It's obvious that you're an asshole, that's all. But the hell I care, bahala ka.

He replied after a few minutes again.

Chancent:
Haha, can I call?

I blinked, napangiwi ako at hindi agad nagreply dahil sa kalabog ng dibdib kong
hindi malaman kung ano ang gumambala. Ano naman kung tatawag siya? May masama ba
roon? Wala naman pero... bakit?
Hmm, siguro tinatamad magtype? Baka nga.

Ako:
Okay.

He did what he said after a few minutes, I answered it after a few rings just to
save my ass that I wasn't excited or waiting for his call at all. Hindi agad ako
nagsalita at hinayaan siyang mauna, I'm hearing his chuckle while excusing himself.
May sumigaw pa roon para tawagin siya.

"Sino na naman ba 'yan? Babae na naman, Chancent Arlow—"

"Ate!" impit na saway ng malalim na boses ni Chancent bago lumiit ang ingay sa
kabilang linya.

Confirmed, asshole. Pati Ate niya, alam na alam iyon.

I heard him sigh before talking.

"Hi."

"Mm."

I shouldn't trust this man easily. Pero bakit naman? It's not like we'll be in a
courting stage! Friends lang naman.

He chuckled gruffly. "I guess, you're thinking a lot of bad things about me."

"H-Hindi. Ano naman pake ko sayo?"

He laughed. "Ouch."

That made me smile a bit, he's taking everything light so I should be also at ease.

Our talk started that night smoothly, we were just laughing about random things he
was telling. Hindi ko na napansin kung ilang oras kaming magkausap pero nagulat ako
nang may kumatok, hindi naman nakalock ang pinto dahil alam kong dito matutulog si
Patch.

Hindi ako nagsalita, kumpirmasyon iyon na wala naman akong ginagawang pribado.
Napataas ang mga kilay ko nang bumukas ang pinto at niluwa noon si Patch na sumabog
ang ingay ngayon habang nakasuporta si Heidden sa kanyang baywang.

"Oh my, she's so drunk." I shook my head while watching them.

I wanted to help but I decided not to, it's her boyfriend... he can take care of
her.

Tipid na ngumisi si Heidden at tumango habang inaalalayan pa rin si Patch na

nagmumura at may ilang bagay na sinasabing hindi ko gaanong maintindihan.

"I don't want y-you anymore!" she laughed uncertainly, medyo nasisinok pa habang
inaalis ang mga kamay ni Heidden. "Leave me alone!"

Namilog ang mga mata ko. Heidden just sighed heavily, whispering something to her
but she pulled herself away again and hit his chest.

"We've already broken up! Stop caring about me!"

Suminghap ako, parang ako mismo ang nahihiya sa pinagsasabi niya.

"Hey..." pabulong kong tawag sa atensyon ni Chancent sa kabilang linya. "Wait up,
I'll just handle Patch."

"Uhm-hm, take your time. I'll call again."

I ended the call and stood up to help Heidden because Patch was so desperate to
push him away but he couldn't because she would fall from drunkenness.

"Let me help." I smiled slightly at him and took Patch' arm.

She wriggled and pushed me, I gasped out when I tumbled, Heidden quickly held my
arm to save my ass.

"Ano ba? I don't need help!" she shouted.

"Lemme handle her," Heidden said and pulled me gently to catch Patch.

"Patch, lasing na lasing ka na! You need to get into the bathroom and sober up!" I
hissed and pulled her other arm.

"I know what I'm doing! Get this ass out, I don't need you Heidden!"

"Shut up!" Heidden hissed.

"Oh please, stop acting like you really care for me! I don't love you anymore, why
are you pushing yourself so bad, desperate ass!"

My chest tightened, I gasped heavily and stepped away from her and palmed my
forehead. "Seriously? I want to slap her right now!"

Heidden chuckled. "She's just drunk. I'll just leave her in the bed. She can't go
to the bathroom, anymore."

I nodded quickly and watched them, marahan pa rin niyang inaalalayan si Patch
pahiga. Panay pa rin ang pagpiglas niya mula kay Heidden, mabuti na lang at hindi
nagtagal iyon at kinumutan na ni Heidden. Isang pasada lang ng tingin ang ginawa
niya kay Patch bago nagpaalam na lumabas ng silid.

Suminghap ako at agad siyang sinundan palabas dahil hindi ako mapakali sa nangyari,
I wanna apologize for Patch' drunk mouth. He didn't deserve that.

"Heidden!" I called while following him through the hallways.

Nilingon niya agad ako at bahagyang huminto, he looked bothered for a few seconds
but he smiled a bit at me with a question in his expression.

"I'm sorry, lasing lang siya kaya niya nasabi iyon. Sana hindi kayo mag-away
bukas."

"It's alright, I'm used to it," he said quietly.

He looked tired and under alcohol's effect, mamula-mula ang mukha at mapungay na
ang mga mata.

"Where's Patch?" may iritasyon sa boses na sulpot ni Tita Pate ang gumulat sa akin.
Sabay kaming napatingin ni Heidden sa kanya, huminga ng malalim si Tita Pate at
tumingin kay Heidden.

"I'm really really sorry for what happened, I'll talk to her."

Ano pa bang nangyari?

"It's fine, Tita. She's harmless." He chuckled.

Humawak si Tita Pate sa braso niya.

"Is it true that you already broke up?"

Heidden sighed. "Yes, Tita. I'm sorry."

Tita gasped and shook her head before she noticed me.

"Bukas na lang ako magtatanong, salamat sa pagpunta rito..." ani Tita sabay tipid
na ngiti sa akin. "Puwede mo bang samahan sa ibaba muna si Heidden? Nagtimpla ako
ng kape roon. Aayusin at kakausapin ko lang si Patch."

I hesitantly smiled and nodded.

Naintindihan ko naman na kailangan niyang solo kausapin si Patch sa aming kuwarto

kaya bumaba na lang din ako kasabay si Heidden. Wala nang tao sa tanggapan kaya
nakakabingi ang katahimikan, marahil tulog na ang iba at ang iba ay nasa labas pa.

Sa counter table ay nakita ko agad ang tasa ng kape, I took it carefully. Tahimik
na naupo si Heidden sa isang couch sa tanggapan, marahan kong nilapag ang tasa sa
center table para sa kanya at naupo rin sa katapat na sofa.

"Thank you," he said but didn't take the coffee. He just glanced at it.

"Anong nangyari?" hindi ko napigilang tanungin.

Umangat ang tingin niya sa akin at nagkibit balikat.

"She got drunk."

Tss, obviously. Ang tinatanong ko iyong eksaktong nangyari pero ayaw kong maging
tsismosa.

"Are you okay?" I asked.

He smirked humorlessly. "A bit."

I nodded. Just by that, I stopped talking to him because I think he's in a really
bad mood. Medyo inis tuloy ako kay Patch, sumobra yata siya. Hindi na tama iyon. Oo
nga, pinsan ko siya pero nakakasakit na siya ng ibang tao. Though, I don't know
what happened but I know Patch too well, I can still remember how shallow her
reason why she broke up with Heidden.

Kinabukasan ay katakot-takot na sermon ang inabot ni Patch kay Tita Pate bilang
tanghalian niya pagkagising, nasa kuwarto pa lang kami noon ay sumugod na si Tita
para sermonan siya sa pinaggagawa kagabi. Doon ko rin nalaman ang lahat, it was
really a big deal to someone committed like her because she talked about her ex
boyfriends in front of her boyfriend while being surrounded with our cousins.

Shame.
"Really, Patch? Isn't that immaturity? Why would you talk about your ex boyfriends
in front of him?" halos nanggagalaiti sa iritasyon si Capriana nang pumasok sa
kuwarto, ilang sandali lamang paglabas ni Tita Pate.

Tahimik lang ako na nag-iimpake ng mga gamit ko dahil ngayon ang balik ko sa Davao,
ang mga Villareal ay mananatili pa rito.

Patch sighed heavily. "Please, let's not talk about it—"

"Super papansin ng feeling mo no'n! We understand that you were drunk but still,
you need to hear this! Don't ever do that again! Stop being a drunk bitch, next
time!"

Napalunok ako nang padabog na ibagsak ni Capriana ang pinto pagkalabas, Patch was
sighing as she lie down again—massaging her temples. Mukhang sising-sisi sa ginawa
niya kagabi, hindi naman nakakapagtaka iyon. Nakakahiya rin talaga, ano na lang
iisipin ni Heidden? Napahiya siya sa harapan ng pamilya namin.

"I hate this feeling..." she said in the air but I know she's talking to me. She
chuckled curtly and looked at me. "Sorry, nakakahiya ang nagawa ko."

I sighed. "Hindi ko naman alam iyon, wala ako roon."

She nodded.

"Are you going home now?"

"Oo."

"Akala ko bukas pa?"

I shrugged. "Mommy called me this morning, I need to go home now for a family
shoot."

She smiled a bit, her eyes were soft.

"I'll miss you..."

I inhaled with a smile, too.

"You, too, Patch."

Tumalikod na ako para ayusin ang iba pang gamit, napabuntong-hininga ako habang
naiisip na heto na ang huling araw ng kasiyahan ko.

Back to normal, Sileas...

#UM10
#UM10

The first month of the year was not smooth as what I expected, it wasn't also bad
but not really what I wished for. I thought my first month of the year would be
great since I started it happily but maybe, it still depends on the people around
or the home you're living in.

Tahimik akong sumimsim sa baso ng tubig habang nakikinig sa usapan ng aming pamilya
sa hapagkainan.

"Gabanni, it's not what you think. The workers are working hard in the warehouse, I
see it everytime I round. You don't always need to put the blame on them, we are
the leaders."

Gabanni raised a brow at Gunther.

"Tayo ba dapat ang sisihin? We are the leaders, but how would you know who follows
the lead when you're already gone in their sight?"

"But we should be the one responsible—"

"That's why I'm telling you to hire new workers, fire everyone out to be fair."

Seriously? Paano naman iyong mga doon na tumanda at iyon lang ang pinagkukunan ng
pangkabuhayan? Kawawa naman, hindi naman nila kasalanang lahat ang mali ng isa.

Gunther sighed heavily. "Some of them didn't finish school, nowhere to go and are
providers of their families. Matagal na ring trabahador ang ibang gusto mong
ipaalis."

"I don't care. There's a lot of people who need a job, too," Gabanni said sternly.
"Do what I told you, end of discussion."

Daddy closed his eyes and sipped on his coffee, kahit kailan ay hindi siya nakialam
sa usapan ng dalawang anak at hinahayaan sila sa sariling suliranin—ganoon din si
Mommy, pormal lang siyang nagpapatuloy sa pagkain.

Gunther gasped quietly and shook his head slightly as if he declares defeat.

Nagbaba na lamang ako ng tingin at kumain, I don't have a say on anything in their
business. Mas iintindihin ko ang sariling pag-aaral kesa roon, my opinion doesn't
need to be shared because they are the elders and I'm only a half sibling, means; I
don't have any right to touch what's theirs.

The class started again, I became so busy with school for the past two months. ATM
card is my only companion every after a hell week. I'm not sure how much I spent
for new bags, sneakers and makeups. Hindi pa rin ako kuntento sa mga nabibili ko,
habang pinahihirapan ako ng pag-aaral ay mas tumitindi ang luho ko na tila iyon ang
katuwang.

Problema ko sa sumunod na linggo ay naubusan ng allowance. Spending money becomes a

hobby for me and it's getting wilder, basta maganda sa paningin ko ay nabibili ko
nang walang hirap.

"Hey, Pallavi!" Behati sat beside me.

I smiled, sinulyapan ko ang ginagawa ko sa Macbook bago siya balingan ulit. The
library was so silent in the mid-afternoon, I heard a nerd shush Behati and she
just rolled her eyes before smiling at me again.

"Come to my birthday party this week," she said in a low tone as she slides a
silver invitation towards my elbow on the table. "It's a private celebration,
though. Malalapit lang na kaibigan ang imbitado."

"I'll be there."

She winked and nodded. "You should, I'll talk to my Mom to ask Tita Gabbana's
permission."

"Thanks!"
Behati is one of my spoiled brat friends, matagal ko na siyang kaibigan dahil
iisang school kami mula highschool. Galing din sa kilalang pamilya kaya hindi ako
magtataka na papayagan agad akong sumali sa kanila.

She kissed my cheek before standing up, nilingon ko siya habang inaayos niya
pabalik ang upuang hinila.

"Quentin will be there."

"Quentin?" my forehead creased.

"Yes, my cousin. He actually asked for your presence but I already thought of you
before him, so... don't think that I only invited you because of him, 'kay?"

I chuckled and nodded. Kumaway na siya sa akin at umalis ng library na tila

allergic siya sa lugar, napabungisngis ako at tinuon ulit sa Macbook ang atensyon.

Hmm, so Quentin will be there? I already met him here, though. That was last month
but we didn't get much time to talk because he had a flight back to Switzerland for
his grandmother's sudden death.

I bit my bottom lip and was about to text Quentin but Chancent's name suddenly
popped up.

Chancent:
You busy? Still in the library?

Ako:
Palabas na, tapos na ako sa essay. Why?

Chancent didn't lose our conversation since January, it's been almost two months
now and he's still keeping up with me. Madalas kaming mag-usap pero hindi buong
oras bawat araw, minsan ay nakakaligtaan ko siyang sagutin pero naiintindihan naman
niya at nagti-text ulit sa sumunod na araw kaya muling nabubuhay ang aming pag-
uusap.

Actually, I got used to it. Nasanay na akong kausap siya at habang tumatagal ay mas
nakikilala ko siya, he's a really good and sweet friend. Madalas mang-asar at
mayroon ding times na nasungitan na niya ako dahil bad mood o ewan ko pero mas
madalas na may oras siya sa pagkausap sa akin.

It was all normal and wasn't perfect but those simple conversations between us
makes me happy. Annoying him became a hobby for me, I don't know. I just really
like it when he's annoyed, nag-iiba kasi ang timpla ng hangin at mas exciting.

Chancent:
Thank God. I'm starving to death.

Kumunot ang noo ko, sinara ko ang Macbook at nilagay sa bag saka sinukbit iyon sa
balikat at nagtipa na ng reply.

Ako:
Huh? Nakasalalay ba sa akin ang pagkain mo?

Kasalanan ko na halos mamatay siya sa gutom? Nasa akin ba ang pagkain niya?

Chancent:
Am I in the right school? Ateneo de Davao, right?
Nanliit ang mga mata ko, isang hingang malalim at singhap ang nagawa ko habang
nagmamadaling magreply.

Ako:
Yes, are you here? In Davao?

Oo, ang tanga ng tanong ko dahil obvious naman ang sagot pero nasend ko na. Hindi
na mababawi.

Seriously, what a surprise visit!? Kailan pa kaya siya nandito?

Chancent:
Did I say Ateneo de Manila? :D

Nagmadali akong lumakad sa hallways, my chest was hurting in sudden excitement.

Matagal na kasi niyang sinasabi na pupunta siya sa Davao para sa isang business
project, did I mention that his family owned condominium buildings in Manila? Well,
they do. He's one of the lucky rich kid—adult, rather.

I dialed his number while going down, he answered it quickly and my ear welcomed a
chuckle from him that made me feel more excited.

"Wow, it's a pleasure to get a call from you."

Napaismid ako at nag-init ang pisngi sa hiya. Oo nga, heto ang kauna-unahang tawag
ko sa kanya at miski ako ay ngayon lang iyon naisip—kung kailan natawagan na siya.

"Where are you exactly?"

"Main gate, I just parked somewhere near."

"Bakit may sasakyan ka? By land?"

Mabilis pa rin ang paglalakad ko upang makalabas na agad ng school. May mga
bumabati sa aking kakilala pero tinatanguan ko na lamang at nilalampasan, some of
them tried to talk but I just waved my hand.

He chuckled. "No, that's hassle. I just borrowed this."

Nag-uusap lang kami habang papalabas ako hanggang sa makita ko na siya, pawisan pa
ako dahil sa pagmamadali at hindi ko man lang naisipang kumalma at ayusin ang
sarili. I tucked my hair behind my ear and calmed my breathing.

He was in front of a white Chevrolet on the walkway side of our school. Kahit hindi
pansinin ang mga guwapo sa eskwelahan namin ay pansinin siya roon dahil halatang
bago at nakaformal outfit pa, aakalaing guwapong propesor o dayuhang businessman.

My heart fluttered while looking at him and the excitement gives me more time as if
the hands of the clock round slower than normal.

His semi-bald hair got longer now but still faded sides that gave him a new look
but angst never left him behind the new style, it was brushed up. Bumalik na rin
ang tunay na kulay ng balat dahil maputi kaysa noong huling kita ko sa kanya sa
Cebu. He's wearing a white button down chinese collar shirt, black slacks and a
pair of black leather shoes.

The deep set of his lids make him look like glaring at somewhere his eyes would
land, above them were his furrowed brows by the sunlight—between the main points of
thick brows was his high pointed nose, down his natural red lips in just the right
shape. There's a shallow opposite "U" line acrossed his chin and bottom lip that
made it look pouty.

Madalas kong makita iyon sa mga new born baby.

Lumapit ako lalo, hindi niya mapapansin dahil nakatalikod na at nakatanaw sa

kabilang banda. I can smell the air of his presence now.

"Are you coming out?" he asked on the line while his eyes were scanning the place,
cell phone on his ear.

Ngumuso ako at kahit tinubuan ng kakaibang hiya ay tinusok ko siya sa likurang

tagiliran, he was so tall and wide that my head was just until his chest.

Agad siyang lumingon sa pagtusok ko at bahagyang parte ang labing mapula nang
magkatinginan kami, I could barely smile because of shyness as I waved my cell
phone and ended our call. I could feel the slow electricity of consciousness
running down my body, my nape shivered in horror.

Do I look fine today? Asa pa ako, buong umaga hanggang tanghali akong nag-aaral! I
didn't think of retouching my face or fixing my uniform! Baka mukha na akong
haggard!

He gasped with a rough chuckle while looking at me in awe. "Sileas..."

"Hi?" I said hesitantly and forced a smile, I don't care if it's awkward or
whatever! At least, I did!

He puckered his lips and looked around, nasilaw siya sa araw kaya nagyuko at
tumingin ulit sa akin.

"Are you allowed to come with me?" he chuckles. "Baka may driver at bodyguards ka
na naghihintay, e."

Umiwas ako ng tingin at nagtipa ng mensahe para sa driver ko. Buti pinaalala niya
ang tungkol sa driver ko, wala naman akong bodyguards pero trained iyong driver ko
kaya safe ako.

"It's okay, depends on the place where we'd go."

Natawa siya. "Restaurant, Sileas. Please, inform him that we won't do something bad
and I'm not gonna kidnap you."

My face heated, I glared at him as I sent a text to my driver that I'm gonna go out
with a friend and I'll just text him again to fetch me after.

"Papasunurin ko na lang siya sa atin?"

"Your choice, Miss." He shrugged and opened the car door for me. "For now, get in.
I don't have an umbrella to cover you from the sun."

I rolled my eyes and walked to get in the front seat. "Tss."

Umikot siya sa kabila upang makapasok na rin, he motioned me to wear my seatbelt

while fixing his. I did it and looked at him with my forehead wrinkled, he started
maneuvering the steering wheel.

"So what's with the sudden visit?" I started asking, too.

He knows my school, of course, but I didn't expect he'd come over to invite me for
a lunch! May klase pa ako pero... bahala na. Isang beses lang naman, baka nga
ngayon lang ito.

"I visited a property somewhere."

"You have a property here?"

He sighed. "I'll have one, it was a process for two months."

Nasabi niya na may pinoproseso siya at kinakanta sa mga magulang na mahirap

mapapayag, heto siguro iyon kaya nasabi niyang proseso at may pagbuntong-hininga pa
na tila pagod.

"Process?"

"Process to get one here for a project." He grinned slightly.

"You mean, wala ka talagang project dito?"

Two months process to get a new project here? So, they don't really have a project
in Davao? Bakit niya ipoproseso ng ilang buwan ang paggawa ng project dito kung
nakaplano na noon pa? And I know something in business because it's always included
in the family topic. It's a long process of plan, not just two months!

Humalakhak siya. "I thought you'd throw the topic out because you don't understand
anything about business. Why are you asking too much?"

"Well, it sounds interesting because you said that you processed to get a project
here and that was a quick approval for anything about a serious business—seems like
you forced something or you threatened the heads. This place wasn't in your
business plans, correct?"

His eyes grew wider as he glanced at me.

"You're creeping me out, I feel under interrogation!"

I arched a brow.

"Guilty?"

He sighed heavily and laughed with a nod.

"Guilty by private reason."

I gasped and pouted to suppress my smile, his excuses are so obvious or I'm just
really an assuming frog! He didn't deny it, though.

"Where do you wanna eat?" he asked while driving.

Seriously? Akala ko pa naman may plano na siyang resto!

"Kahit saan!"

"Basta ako kasama?" he raised a brow with a cute grin.

"Huh?" This assuming man!

"Hotcake!" asar niya.

"Isn't that hotdog?" Hotdog kasi iyong parati kong naririnig sa ilang lalaking
kaklase, pang-asar yata iyon.

Humagalpak siya sa tawa.

"You can say anything with a ha, for annoying counter," paliwanag niya.

"Ha? Hamster?" I countered with a laugh.

Tawa siya nang tawa, his perfect set of white teeth showed up while laughing.
Parang ngayon lang ako narinig magsalita ng ganoon.

Well, I don't usually talk like that even when I heard a lot of annoying sarcasm
and teases from the people around—from my Villareal cousins, too. Hindi kasi ako
gumagaya sa usong lenggwahe ng mga kabataan ngayon, baka kasi kasanayan ko iyon at
makapagsalita ng ganoon sa bahay. Our whole family will judge me!

"Ang cute, ah! Isip ka pa!"

"Ha?" nag-isip ako. "Hangin!"

Umiling siya at tila natatawa sa sasabihin. "Ha? Hangganda mo!"

My face heated up, umirap ako at tumingin sa labas ng bintana na tago ang
bungisngis bago nakaisip ng sasabihin. Nilingon ko ulit siya.

"Ha? Halam ko na 'yan!" I said.

Nagkatinginan kami, ilang saglit pa ay sabay kaming tumawa. Tinawanan ko pa talaga

ang kakapalan ng mukha ko sa parteng iyon, huh. I just can't counter his
compliments, palagi naman niyang sinasabi na maganda ako o kaya cute kahit sa tawag
lang kami magkausap.

He compliments me a lot, even with annoying remarks—I still appreciate him for
making my confidence high. Being complimented means a lot to someone who has a low
self-esteem, I am one of them so... I really like it when he's saying beautiful
words like a light to my confidence.

We settled in a high-end restaurant, I let him choose because he's the one starving
but I am more than please that he brought me to a fancy restaurant for lunch.

It feels like a date!

"Are you gonna stay here?" I asked while eating my dessert merrily, hindi ko
natapos ang pagkain ko dahil busog na ako kaya sa dessert na lang.

He puckered his lips and nodded.

"Hanggang kailan?"

"For a month, I think? No assurance yet since I need to handle the hotels in
Batangas, too. Nyxinea will travel with her boyfriend and parents are gonna fly
back to New York, so... everything's on me here."

"What?" I gasped. "You sure, you can do it all?"

He chuckled. "I have Heidden and Racksle as companions, though."

"Heidden's also a businessman?"

Mukha rin naman, sa tindig at pormal na pagsasalita ay hindi maikakaila pero parang
hindi naman siya busy gaya ni Chancent. Kung saan-saan nga niya nasusundan si
Patch.

"Yeah, most of their branches are here and in Cebu. They have plantations around."

"Merged ba kayo?"

He nodded.

"Kung ganoon, marami kayong business? Hindi lang condominiums and plantations?" I
asked curiously.

Wala akong matanong pero ang sayang malaman na hindi sila kulelat sa buhay at
talagang sumisigaw pa nga iyon ng karangyaan. Although, I can still see and feel
the differences of decency and simplicity.

He shrugged and chuckled.

"It's our parents' hardwork."

That's partly right but since he already graduated college and now working under
their company, helping to manage their businesses—then, he's already one of the
investors.

After lunch, I was already late for the next class. Hindi tuloy ako mapakali habang
nasa sasakyan at nagmamaneho na siya pabalik sa eskuwelahan kaya nang marating
namin ang school ay nanatili muna ako sa sasakyan at hindi pa makababa.

Wala akong gagawin sa loob at baka may makakita sa akin na hindi ako pumasok sa
klase, malamang ay maririnig ni Mommy iyon.

Kunot ang noo ni Chancent nang lingunin ko siya.

I sighed heavily.

"Uh, may three hours pa akong free time."

He looked at me with confusion.

"Three hours? Vacant time?"

I put my hands on my lap and sighed again.

"Yes."

He glanced at his wristwatch and flinched.

"You're thirty minutes late, I forgot checking the time. Sorry." He turned to me
again with apologetic look.

"It's okay, ngayon lang naman. Marami pa akong excuses na puwedeng idahilan."

His brows furrowed a bit, lips slightly curled up.

"What a bad girl."

"I can say that someone invited me over lunch and forgot to take me back to
school!"

He laughed and licked his lips.

"So where are we gonna spend your vacant time, huh?" he emphasized the "vacant
time" sarcastically.

I shrugged.

"Anywhere without a sight of my schoolmates."

"Noted, Miss." He chuckled and started maneuvering again. "I'll never forget your
schedule again. I don't wanna be the reason of your absence in a good attendance
record."

I rolled my eyes.

"Feeling!" I spat.

We both laughed at that.

#UM11
#UM11

"Bye..." I said and looked at him before going out of his car.

He raised a brow. "How about dinner tonight?"

It was like a temptation in my head, I wanted but...

"I can't."

Even when I wanted to, I can't. Hindi ako puwedeng umalis sa bahay na hindi
nagsasabi kay Mommy at kung malalaman niyang may kasama akong lalaki ay mabibigo
lang ang lakad.

"Okay..." he nodded understandingly. "Can I have a copy of your schedule tomorrow

so I'd know when to come on your free time?"

My heart fluttered. "Sure, I'll send it later."

He nodded and smiled as he motions the school's gate.

"Get in."

Inabot niya sa akin ang malaking polar bear na stuff toy na binili niya kanina, I
fixed the strap of my bag on my shoulder and pouted while hugging the toy.

"Saan ka?"

"I'll probably go back to the site and round."

"Okay, take care."

He suppressed a chuckle and cleared his throat.

"Sweet, thank you. Hope you take care of our son, too." Nginuso niya ang hawak kong
stuff toy.

Namilog ang mga mata ko kaya agad siyang bumawi ng tawa.

"Just kidding!"

I just rolled my eyes, closed the door and walked into the school's gate without
looking back. Bumalik ang ngiti sa labi ko at habang naglalakad ay hindi maiwasang
bumungisngis sa naalalang ginawa namin sa mall kanina. It was simple activities but
I really enjoyed it.

We spent the three hours in mall, we played in Timezone and it's really attractive
that he paid everything for us. I tried to give him my share but he never accepted
even a cent, I'm not a gold digger but it's kinda satisfying and sweet that he's
paying for me. Nahihiya ako at nagbabayad pero hindi niya tinatanggap, kita ko pa
ang insulto parati sa mga mata at ekspresyon niya kapag nag-aabot ako ng cash.

Masaya akong pumasok sa huling klase nang araw na iyon. Pag-uwi, siya pa rin ang
kausap ko sa text at tawag. We talked a lot about random topics, he's like an open
book while talking about his life and while flipping the pages—he's becoming more
interesting. He feels like a free wall where you can write and throw anything you
want.

"Faye Saldivar called me, she's asking for my permission to have you on Behati's
birthday celebration this Saturday," si Mommy habang nag-aagahan kami sa sumunod na
araw.

Tumango ako. "She gave me an invitation yesterday, Mom. Can I come? Behati is a
dear friend, she's not a bad influence to me."

I sound defensive but I really need to defend an explanation before I get her
permission in a nice way.

"Too defensive," Gabanni intervened quietly.

Huminga ako ng malalim, medyo kinabahan dahil baka mahugasan na naman ng simpleng
parinig niya ang desisyon ni Mommy. Gusto ko pa naman pumunta sa selebrasyon ni
Behati, naroon din ang mga kaibigan namin. Ilang linggo na kasi kaming kulong sa
school activities.

"No alcoholic activities, Sileas. And strictly no boys around you."

"That's not a party, then," Daddy interfered.

Gulat ako sa pakikisali niya, marahan niyang tinupi ang magazine na binabasa at
tiningnan si Mommy.

"Gabbana, your daughter is already eighteen. Let her enjoy the freedom of being
legal."

Mommy looked at him sternly.

"You don't understand my concerns, Hartell. As a woman, I don't wanna let her walk
in a way without my guidance."

Daddy sighed. "I really don't, you're caging Sileas' life."

"She's my daughter."
Namilog ang mga mata ko sa tensyong namumuo sa boses ni Mommy, mabigat ang buntong-
hininga na pinakawalan ni Daddy bago tumango at bahagyang tinaas ang isang kamay na
tila natatalo sa panlabang iyon.

"Sa ginagawa mong iyan, hindi mo naiisip na mas matututo siyang magtago kaysa ang
magsabi sayo."

Hindi nagsalita si Mommy at tila hangin iyon sa pandinig, I glanced at Daddy and
smiled slightly with guilt when he met my eyes—he smiled a bit.

Nakakatawa lang na kung anong ginanda at karangyaan ng pamilyang ito ay ganoon din
ang lungkot sa loob. Daddy's right, this home is nothing but a cage for me. And he
gave an idea about hiding more than telling, what if I do that? Will I be happy?

Maybe... I should try it.

Naging tahimik ang agahan namin nang oras na iyon. Ilang paalala pa ni Mommy ang
natanggap ko tungkol sa birthday celebration ni Behati ang narinig bago ako
tuluyang magpahatid sa driver patungong eskuwelahan para sa panibagong klase.

I was thinking the whole time about hiding some of my personal activities out of
Mommy's range now, may ilang reyalisasyong positibo at negatibo sa isip ko. Kung
ganoon ang gagawin ko ay sasaya ako pero may mga consequences iyon kapag nagkataon
at alam kong masisira ako sa mga mata ng Miramontes.

"Masaya iyon! I'm really excited, sana mag Saturday na agad!"

"Until what time is it so I can tell Mom?" tanong ni Cassandra habang inaayos ang
mga gamit.

Behati shrugged and sipped on her bottled water.

"Depends on you, guys! You can just sleep there or call your drivers to fetch you,
ganoon lang! We don't need to count time!"

"Oh, okay!"

Ngumiti ako at binuksan ang cell phone, nagpatuloy sila sa pag-uusap tungkol sa
ibang party na nakaplano habang wala pa ang Sabado.

Chancent:
What's up?

Ako:
Bored and it's our break time. How are you?

Chancent:
Good. Lunch out?

My lips parted to exhale slightly.

Ako:
Sorry. I'll be out with my friends.

Mas nauna na ang anyaya ng mga kaibigan ko sa paglabas namin. Kanina pa kami
magkausap, hindi naman niya ako niyaya. Iyan tuloy. Tumayo na ako at sumunod kila
Behati na nagtatawanan habang naglalakad, they were talking about their other
friends from another group.
"She's a real flirt when drunk!"

"Really? Expected ko na iyan pero hindi ko alam na may katunayan!"

"Seriously, she kissed Louie and pretended she didn't do anything wrong the next
day!"

"Louie has Jian!"

"Exactly, girl!"

"Jian's cool with it?"

Behati shrugged. "I don't know, she's all silent about the issue."

"Oh my gosh, that flirt! Sila pa rin ni Louie! Stupid, Jian!"

Jian is our old friend who transferred school, madalang na rin namin makasama dahil
nagkanobyo at heto ang maririnig ko. I can't help but feel disappointed, how could
she let that happen and still stay in that relationship?

I sighed heavily.

"Yes, Sileas?" natatawang puna ni Behati.

I shrugged. "They're still together?"

Cheating again. Parating ganyan ang problema sa relasyon ngayon, hindi na nabago
ang uso.

"Yup! Getting stronger!" sarkastikong aniya.

"Can you believe that? Jian is freakin' stupid!" ani Cassandra, tila siya mismo ang
problemado. "Mag-uusap talaga kami nang masinsinan niyan sa Saturday!"

"Kailan ba nangyari iyon?" I asked.

"A month ago? I don't know, I don't care! I just heard it. Jian doesn't listen,
anyway! I hate her so..." Behati shrugged. "But still invited."

Ganyan lang si Behati magsalita pero best friend niya pa rin si Jian, they're
friends since Grade School and it's kinda impossible to break. I hope, they find
way to each other to make up.

We went out of the university and settled in an Italian restaurant, I ordered the
usual pasta. Mahaba ang oras ng lunch break kaya hindi kami nagmamadali sa pagkain,
I was just listening and laughing while they were talking. Kalaunan kaming
nadagdagan ng ilang kaibigan ni Behati.

Nakakainggit iyong pamumuhay ni Behati, hindi siya nahihirapan makipagkaibigan at

lahat ay gustong-gusto siya.

"Hi, Sileas!" bati sa akin ni Rayven.

I waved my hand slightly with a smile to greet back, Behati rolled her eyes.

"What are you guys? You're greeting each other like olders' way! Come on, Rayven!
Ask her a date quick!"
Natawa ako. Suminghap si Rayven at nailing sa kaibigan.

"Behati, that's not the proper way to ask it!"

"Paano ba? Hi, Sileas. Date me! Like that? Go then, ask! Nagsasayang ka ng oras.
We're not in year 1875, mas mabilis ang oras ngayon at paunahan na! I know you like
her since Junior High—"

"Oh, damn. Stop right there!" saway ni Rayven, namumula ang mga tainga. Hindi ko
alam kung sa iritasyon o iba pang bagay.

Natatawa na lang ako, lalo pa nang magtalo na silang dalawa at pinagtatawanan na

rin nila Cassandra. I roamed my eyes around while chuckling, I already informed
Chancent where are we spending our lunch break today and I can't help but assumed
that he's just around since he's checking the near site.

"Don't worry, you can pass as her boyfriend!"

Uminit ang mukha ko, though I didn't react exaggeratedly. I just sipped on my
fruitshake and smiled as I looked at Rayven.

He doesn't look bad, he's honestly handsome since he has a foreign blood but... I
don't know yet if he'll pass my taste. Matagal ko na rin siyang kilala pero medyo
ilag siya, at ngayon ay mukhang alam ko na ang dahilan.

Rayven groaned, looking away. "I'm sorry for Behati's behavior."

They laughed.

"Oh, so you're sorry for spilling your true intentions? Bakit? Hindi ba nga
nagpapalakad ka sa amin kay Sileas!" buska ni Behati na kinatawa na naman ng lahat.

"OMG, you're embarrassing him!"

Kumurap-kurap ako nang mahagip ng tingin ang hindi kalayuang lamesa sa amin,
Heidden Estrevillo with a man bun in gray button down shirt and black slacks was
sitting on a couch. I gasped and scanned the area to search for familiar people, my
eyes found Chancent in a dark blue button down shirt and jeans who was busy talking
with a woman on the other table.

Kumunot ang noo ko at muling sinulyapan si Heidden, mukhang kararating lang nila
dahil kasalukuyan siyang nagbabasa sa menu. Chancent on the other side was smiling
at the woman, nanatili siyang nakatayo roon habang tulala naman ito sa mukha niya.
He looked explaining some stuff.

I informed him my whereabouts but it seems like he didn't even see me here! Who's
that girl, anyway? His Miss Davao? Probably.

I shrugged the presence of Estrevillos, it's not like I should walk to greet them.

I continued talking with my friends, nakausap ko rin nang maayos si Rayven dahil
taimtim siyang nagpaliwanag ng sariling intensyon.

"It's okay, Rayven." I smiled.

"Thanks! I want to clear it because I know you're not an easy girl."

Gusto kong matawa pero mukhang nahihiya siya sa hindi malamang dahilan kaya
tinanguan ko na lang. Marahan siyang kumamot sa batok at ngumiti.
"But yeah, she's right. I really wanna know you more."

I nodded civilly. "We can do that, of course."

I mean, why not? There's nothing wrong with it. The sudden reminder of Mommy shot
my thought, about boys... seriously, I should be careful.

His eyes brightened up.

"Sure, sure."

I bit my bottom lip. "So... you want my number?"

I heard Behati's little screams that made me chuckle, nakikinig pala ang babaeng
'to!

Rayven quickly offered me his cell phone.

"Yes, please."

I typed my number there and gave it back, he was smiling widely as he saved it. He
looked cute with that genuine smile as if my number made him really happy.

"Thank you, Sileas!"

Ngumiti ako sa kanya bago huminga ng malalim saka igala ang paningin, nahuli ko
agad ang kinaroroonan ng mga Estrevillo. Hindi gaya kanina na magkahiwalay sila
dahil may kinakausap na babae ang isa, ngayon ay nasa iisang lamesa na lang sila at
wala na ang babae. 

Chancent was furrowed brows while Heidden's shrugging, lumapit ang dalawang waiter
para maglagay ng pagkain nila sa lamesa.

Napairap ako sa hangin. Bigo siguro si Chancent sa kinausap na babae kaya ganyan na
lang ang ekspresyon, buti nga sa kanya.

I checked my cell phone and saw his message.

Chancent:
Is that your boyfriend?

Naglipat ulit ako ng tingin sa kanilang gawi, I found him looking away as I looked
at them. Uminit ang mukha ko at nagtipa ng reply.

Ako:
No.

Mabilis ko siyang tiningnan, his cell phone was on the table. I saw him looking at
it while his other hand was playing with pasta around the fork, his brow arched up
and lips curled. Hindi pa rin nakuhang magbalik ng tingin sa aming gawi pero umayos
ng upo at nagtipa sa cell phone.

Chancent:
Cool.

I rolled my eyes, hindi ko na ni-reply-an dahil natatabunan na ako ng inis. Ano

kayang cool doon?
Lumipas ang ilang minuto na iritado ako kahit kausap ang mga kaibigan, I continued
eating my cold pasta since it would make me feel a bit better. Why is he pretending
like we're not in the same place?

Until our break time ended, nagyaya nang umalis sila Behati pagtapos magbill-out. I
looked at Chancent again when I stood up, inalalayan ni Rayven ang upuan ko at doon
ko lang nahuli ang sulyap ni Chancent habang sumisimsim sa baso ng juice.

"Can I drive you home after your class?" Rayven whispered.

Napakurap-kurap ako, hindi man inalis ang tingin kay Chance ay nagkibit balikat ako
kay Rayven.

"I doubt it, Mommy doesn't want boys around me," I said lowly.

Ibang university si Rayven kaya lalong mahahalata ni Mommy kung sakali, ayaw ko
namang sadyain pa siya ni Mommy para kausapin tungkol sa paglayo sa akin.
Nakakahiya iyon, I really need to think how to hide my personal activities
carefully.

I'm just so tired of being open that I don't even own my decisions. It's so unfair.
Iyong mga kaibigan ko, nakakaalis ng naaayon sa kagustuhan nila at masaya sa buhay
samantalang ako ay kailangan organisado at hindi puwede magkamali ni-katiting na
gawain.

Rayven understood my situation, he knows Mommy and I'm sure that Behati already
warned him about it even before approaching me.

The next class was so boring, sa kaantukan ko ay inabala ko ang sarili sa

pakikipagtext kay Rayven habang may diskusyon sa harapan ang aming propesor sa oras
na iyon.

My phone beeped, I glanced at our professor before checking it.

Chancent:
Can I see you after your classes?

Agad nangunot ang mga kilay ko sa pagbasa, may iritasyon pa rin ako sa kanya.

Ako:
Why?

Chancent:
Just wanna see you today.

Ako:
Ah, talaga?

Chancent:
I can sense the sarcasm. Are you in a bad mood?

Suminghap ako. Wow, nagtanong pa.

Ako:
Yes, stop texting me.

Chancent:
Why?
Ako:
I just don't like you texting me.

Chancent:
Uhuh. So, can I see you later?

Seriously? This ass!

Ako:
Idk

Chancent:
I'll be waiting here.

Namilog ang mga mata ko at agad tiningnan ang oras, may isa't kalahating oras pa
ang klase naming ito bago mag-dismiss.

Ako:
Where? Why?

Chancent:
Same spot. We'll light up your mood.

Ako:
After pretending you didn't see me in resto?

Chancent:
Sorry, I was hesitant to get near you because you told me that your Mom doesn't
want you close with any man or she'll put bodyguards around you.

Chancent:
And you were with your friends, they might tell about it. I don't want that to
happen.

Kumurap-kurap ako. I gasped slowly, it was relieving. Bakit hindi ko naisip na may
dahilan siyang ganito? Oo nga pala, nasabi ko ang tungkol doon. I'm glad that he
didn't forget about it, kung hindi ay malalagot nga ako lalo na kapag nagsalita
sila Behati. Hindi ko naman puwedeng sabihing isekreto iyon dahil mayroon pang
ibang tao roon.

Pagtapos ng huling klase ay nagmadali na akong lumabas para mauna, nagdadaldalan pa

sila Cassandra kaya mabilis akong nagpaalam at hindi naman nila pinabulaanan pa at
tumango na lang.

Ako:
Are you still there?

Chancent:
Pabalik na sa sasakyan. Tapos na klase mo?

Kumunot ang noo ko at nagreply, inayos ko ang strap ng bag at sinunod ko ang buhok
na ayusin sa tamang hati. My hair was smooth and it doesn't need a comb to be fixed
but I want to have a treatment again, maybe one of these days.

I deleted my reply, binilisan ko na lang ang pagpunta sa sinabi niyang lugar ulit.
Some students were greeting me, mga dating kaklase at kaibigan na hindi ko na
masyadong nakakausap ngayon dahil may kanya-kanya na ring grupo.

Hindi naman mahirap hanapin si Chancent, nakayuko siya sa cell phone niya habang
ngumunguya ng bubble gum. He's now wearing a pair of simple clothes, a white shirt
and a black sweatshorts with a black cap on his head.

My lips automatically curved, my heart fluttered excitedly as I walked towards him.

"Hey!" I called his attention.

Mula sa pagkaabala sa cell phone ay nilingon niya ako, he was chewing a bubble gum
when our visions crossed and he stopped it to grin boyishly. Agad niyang binulsa
ang cell phone para lapitan ako, he mouthed "hi" and took my books.

My chest constricted for some reason, I'm not really sure why I'm this excited and
anticipated. It feels like a break from a hectic day and it was undeniably a good
end.

"S-Sa loob tayo?" I said hesitantly and pointed his car, nilinga ko ang paligid
dahil medyo kabado ako na makita nila Behati.

He licked his bottom lip and nodded, without a word—he opened the door for me and I
slid in quickly. I got a smell from his shirt, he smells minty with a slight
bitterness of cigarette scent that made me hold my breath as he closes the door.

I don't really like that smell of cigarette. Required ba na magbubble gum pagtapos
magsigarilyo, pansin ko lang mula kay Arki ay ganoon ang smokers na nakilala ko.
Kundi bubble gum ay candy.

"How's the day?" he asked.

I shrugged, marahan kong inayos ang pencil skirt na medyo tumabingi at saka siya
nilingon na nasundan ng tingin ang pag-aayos ko. Uminit ang mukha ko.

"U-Uh, ayos naman! Nakakatamad sa klase kanina at nakakaantok."

He chuckled. "You still have time?"

"Yes, until six."

"Oh, wow. Great, wanna go somewhere?" he arched a brow and wiggled it. "We have
three hours again."

"Somewhere, where?" I laughed a bit.

Humawak ang isang kamay niya sa steering wheel at nagkibit balikat.

"Anywhere."

I nodded and chuckled. "Okay, surprise me!"

Humalakhak siya at nagmaneho na paalis, my books were on his lap that made me feel
shy. Kaso mas nahihiya naman ako kung kukunin iyon!

"You were with Heidden earlier, dito rin siya?" I asked curiously.

He nodded. "Yeah, we'll be partners in this project. He's the engineer."

"Wow, that's great!"

He didn't say anything, I talked again.

"Kumusta naman pala siya?"

"He's getting well." He chuckled. "I mean, after Patch broke up with him."

"Hindi na talaga sila magbabalikan?"

Wala naman kasi akong balita kay Patch, ang sabi lang ni Papa ay sumama si Patch
pauwi sa New York kila Tita Patience. She has a work, I'm sure she's so busy to
even think about their break up.

Chance took a deep breath and shrugged.

"Heidden's tired of her."

"Really? Well, I think Patch need to find herself first before anything else now."

Chance nodded and poyted a bit.

"She seems to like someone else, e." Kunot noo kong sinabi habang natatanto ang mga
pinagsasabi ni Patch noon. "She just fell out of love, it's impossible without
seeing someone behind your cousin."

His jaw clenched tightly but he chuckled.

"Maybe."

"Aren't you best friends? She didn't tell anything about it?"

Mukhang close sila, ewan ko lang kung kakausapin pa ni Chance si Patch pagtapos
noong nangyari. Siyempre, pinsan niya si Heid.

Chance inhaled and shook his head.

"Patch is just a push and pull type, she's confusing as hell."

I chuckled. "Right! I mean, Heidden is already a good catch and I've seen how happy
they were together."

"I witnessed it, too."

I smiled and looked outside the window.

Maybe, Patch wasn't ready to be in a serious relationship yet since she was a
confused girl. I don't really know but I hope, they find a way back to each other
again because I like Heidden for her.
#UM12
#UM12

Chancent brought me to their site since I was really looking forward to it.
However, it's still empty. There's no workers and barracks yet, it's just a whole
lot but there are three men in good outfits that made me sense that they're not
workers here, they looked checking the area and talking about it.

Kasabay kong naglalakad si Chance patungo sa mga lalaki roon at sa malapitan kong
natantong si Heidden ang isa sa kanila. Hindi ko lang masyadong napansin ang buhok
niya dahil nakasumbrero siya at sun glasses. The other two were tall, too, and they
have the same auras with different shades so I assume that they're all related.

"Racksle and Heilder, they are also my cousins," Chance said as the three noticed
our approach. Tumango si Chance sa kanila. "Glad you're already here!"

Heidden glanced at me as he removed his cap, isang tango at tipid na ngiti ang
pagbati niya sa akin na nginitian ko naman pabalik bago siya muling naggala ng
tingin.

"Just checking this area."

Kamukha ni Heidden iyong nagsalita na may mas supladong aura kung tititigan,
kayumanggi ang balat at magulo ang maalong buhok. Mas matangkad at makisig sa
pangangatawan ni Heidden na saktuhan lamang. His eyes were deep but never
expressive, he's so intimidating.

"How's Davao?"

"Fine! Nice place, of course!" Chancent said.

The other man glanced at me and Chancent again, he nodded.

"How good?" may panunuya sa tono noon.

This man looks more approachable than Heidden's brother but same aura, dark and
formal. Mas pinangatawanan nga lang noong isa ang pagiging suplado.

Chancent laughed a bit and answered them before holding my elbow gently for
introduction, uminit ang batok ko patungo sa pisngi na tila nakuryente sa simpleng
hawak niya.

"By the way, this is Sileas Villareal... Racksle and Heilder, he's Heid's brother."

I smiled timidly at them, Heilder just nodded icily but I could see a shadow of
curiosity in his eyes that made me feel the intimidation. Huminga ako ng malalim at
iniwas ang tingin, tila ba may kasalanan na ako wala pa man.

Bakit ganoon? It's given that he's a brother of Heidden but why do I feel like I'm
the one who  broke his brother as what Patch did? This is so weird. Hindi naman
porque Villareal din ako ay kaiinisan na niya ako. Hindi naman ako ang nanakit sa
kapatid niya! Or else, it's his nature to be irritated with a Villareal.

Racksle nodded with a small smile.

"Girlfriend?"

Uminit ang mukha ko. Do we look like a couple?

Chancent laughed. "Is that the only question you can ask?"

Racksle shrugged and smirked before turning to Heidden, I heard him ask about my
surname and Heidden just nodded. Huminga ako ng malalim, medyo malungkot na kilala
ako dahil kay Patch at hindi maganda ang tingin sa amin. These are Estrevillos,
anyway. I can't blame them.

They got busy talking about the project, eventually. And I'm still stuck in the
thought of how they look at me.

"Isn't this too small for a condotel?"

"It's okay, I'm still convincing the grocery store beside this."
"You should do that for more space."

"Ayaw nga, e."

Heidden chuckled sluggishly. "Then, offer a higher price 'til they bite 'coz no one
can resist it."

Tumingin si Chance sa akin at ngumiti bago muling nakipag-usap sa kanila.

"The owner said, it's a valuable store for them because that's the only thing she
got from their late father."

It's sad. Pamana pala ng kanilang yumaong ama iyon pero may tama rin si Heidden,
kung mas malaki ang offer na maibibigay ay mas maganda ang business na kanilang
mabubuo ulit kung sakali. But maybe, it's really valuable that even a higher offer
won't work for them. People have differences, if others would take money than value
—others want the sentimental value more than that.

Value more than money or money than the value.

For me, I think value is more important.

Racksle shrugged. "Let them stay, if they don't wanna give it... just think of
another plan to be more spacious."

"Yeah, we don't need to force it." Chance nodded.

Heidden looked at him. "It would be a problem, it was placed in the middle. You
already took the next lot, right?"

Chancent sighed.

"Yeah."

Sumulyap si Heidden sa akin, ang iritasyon sa mga mata niya habang iniisip ang
proyekto ay medyo humupa at tinanguan na lamang si Chancent bago tumalikod.

"We'll talk about this, bring her home."

Napakurap-kurap ako, hindi malabong ako ang pinatutungkulan niya at doon ako
nakaramdam ng kahihiyan at iritasyon. Kusang uminit ang tainga at batok ko.

Really? Inuutusan niya si Chancent na ihatid na ako pauwi? Bakit? Anong mayroon
kung mag-usap sila tungkol diyan? Ano namang pake ko!? Does he think I'll throw
suggestions and ruin their plan?

Chance took a breath and glared at him.

"We can talk about that once I get home later," malamig niyang sinabi.

I could hear the sound of Heidden's smirk even when he's not facing us, it was
sarcastic and almost mocking.

Seriously? What did I do wrong to him?

Hindi pinansin ni Chance ang pinsan at marahan na akong hinila patungo sa ibang
parte ng lupain, he started explaining their plan for this wide area. Kalaunan, ang
iritasyon ko ay pinakawalan. I was honestly so offended by Heidden's demand, who is
he to make me leave? Hindi naman siya ang nagdala sa akin dito at kung tungkol sa
proyekto nila, ano naman kung narito ako habang pinag-uusapan iyon? It's not like
I'd touch their plan!

Thankfully, Chancent lightened up my mood that day. We talked a lot about his work
as a businessman who travels just to be in meetings abroad, it was really a tiring
job that everybody thought the easiest. Kumakain iyon ng oras, imbes na para sa
sarili ay puro dokumento ang kanilang pinoproblema at kaharap. They need to manage
every little thing in the company to be steady, I learned some things from him that
I'd totally keep in mind.

Dumaan ang ilang panibagong araw, Chancent was taking my vacant hours for lunch
out. He became the highlight of the next days, wala naman kasi kaming ibang gawain
kundi ang kumain, mag-usap at magtawanan kapag magkasama kaya kahit papaano ay
gumagaan ang gawain sa eskuwelahan.

"I had girlfriends—"

"Mga ilan?" putol ko.

Naghilig siya ng mga siko sa steering wheel may binilang sa mga daliri. Katatapos
lang namin kumain kay narito kami sa labas ng university para magpalipas ng oras,
hinihintay ko lang ang sunod na klase.

"They're exactly two."

"Two? Hindi ako naniniwala!" I retorted doubtfully.

Suminghap siya habang namimilog ang mga mata sa akin.

"Bakit hindi ka naniniwala, hmm?"

I pouted and glared at him who looked amused while watching me, iritado ako pero
ganyan pa rin siya manood sa aking ekspresyon na tila lahat ng anggulo ko ay
nakakatuwang pagmasdan. I could feel his admiration everytime I look at him and it
makes me feel flimsy.

"Parang mababa ang dalawa masyado, Chance! Huwag kang magsinungaling, dalawa lang
tayo rito!"

He laughed. "No, seriously, I had two. Even though they didn't last long, I still
committed."

Huminga ako ng malalim at nagkrus ng mga braso sa dibdib habang nakatitig sa kanya,
mukhang seryoso naman ang bilang niya sa mga nakarelasyon pero para sa akin ay
mababa ang dalawa o may kasabay ang dalawang iyon? Side chic while in a
relationship so it's probably like, four? Or more!

"Why it didn't last long, then? Siguro, niloloko mo! Pinagsasabay-sabay mo!"

I feel bad for saying that but face it, Chancent Estrevillo! Hindi ka dapat
nagsasabay-sabay ng mga babae, a relationship consists only two people! No side
chic! No affairs!

Humalakhak siya at agad umiling.

"Once I took commitment, I'm absolutely loyal. It just happened, we didn't click.
Didn't work!"

"It didn't work because you have so many girls to replace, you're not worried about
breaking your relationship!"

It's irritating to realize that girls for him are easy to replace by another
because he's so likeable, hindi ko ikakaila iyon sa ilang beses naming pagsasama.
He's friendly, yes... in a frustrating way, I couldn't tell how. Ang hirap sambitin
kung paano nakakafrustrate, basta ang alam ko ay nakakairita na kilala siyang
babaero pero ang pinapakita niya sa akin ay palakaibigan lamang siya. I don't know
where to believe!

"No, actually, they both left me. Believe it or not, I don't wanna break a
relationship and even when I don't feel anything anymore—I'm staying to try and
work things out because I know feelings fade sometimes but it's not impossible to
get back but in the end, they were the one who splits up." He shrugs. "I don't
force myself into someone who wants a break. If that's the end of us, I'll gladly
let go."

Saglit akong natulala sa kanyang pagpapaliwanag, pansamantalang nawalan ng

sasabihin at ikokontra.

Panibagong kaalaman na naman iyon tungkol sa kanya. He doesn't beg for another
chance and just waiting for the woman to break up with him but how about if he got
his feelings back for her and she still wants a break? Hindi pa rin ba siya
magmamakaawa para roon? Paano kung mahal na mahal niya ang babae?

That would be hell. Kung ganoon, hindi niya siguro masyadong mahal iyong mga
nakarelasyon niya kaya madali lang siyang nagpakawala.

He chuckled while staring back at me, nag-angat siya ng kaliwang kilay at ngumisi.

"It's actually a nature not to beg for something I can't force, if it's meant to be
—it will find ways to go back even how many times it failed you."

I blinked and gasped silently, ngumuso ako at iniwas ang tingin sa kanya. It hit a
random sleeping nerve inside my system that made me hold my breath while thinking,
maybe that's the right thing to do... we shouldn't force things to happen because
everything will fall into a right place, into what's really meant for us.

"So back to you, Miss Sileas..."

Bumusangot ako.

"What about me?"

"Ang bilis naman makalimot."

I sighed. "Wala nga akong manliligaw!"

"I don't believe you, iyong nakikita kong kasabay niyo."

"That's Rayven, our friend! We're texting but that doesn't mean he's courting me!"

"Oh, so it's like getting to know each other stage?"

Naningkit ang mga mata ko at nilingon siya.

"We know each other, we don't need that stage!"

"He'll court you eventually, I'm sure."

"How sure?" I challenged.

He shrugged lazily and didn't answer.

"If that will happen, why not?"

Kumunot ang noo niya, sarkastiko ang maliit na tawa. "Why not?"

I remained looking at him, his expression was unreadable but distorted. I smirked
mentally, Rayven is a good catch if that's the case.

"It's not like I can't hide it."

Totoo naman, I better hide my personal activities from Mommy because I wanna be
happy. I wanna enjoy my age, it's not bad to accept a suitor. Besides, Rayven is a
nice guy.

He inhaled deeply and looked in front with a little nod.

"That's cool."

Cool!? How cool?

I made a face and clicked the door open, kinuha ko ang ilang libro sa dashboard at
nilingon siya ulit.

"Yeah, really cool! Good luck din pala sa Miss Davao mo!" I laughed and winked at
him, he's annoying me! I'll annoy him more!

He looked at me questionably.

"Miss Davao?"

I smiled without teeth. "Yes! 'Di ba, kasama mo noong isang araw?"

His brows furrowed while thinking as if he doesn't remember anything, he shrugged.

"I don't know what you're talking about."

I rolled my eyes in annoyance and whispers. "Maang-maangan." I quickly went out of

his car and closed the door.

Don't know what you're talking about daw, ang bilis makalimot kaya pala ang bilis
din gumaling kapag may nakikipagbreak sa kanya. It justified that he doesn't take
relationships seriously and he doesn't love his past girlfriends because he can
replace them easily. Parang pagpapalit lang siguro ng damit sa kanya ang relasyon.

Iritado akong pumasok sa klase nang tanghaling iyon, I forced myself not to check
my cell phone the whole time and just listened to our professor's discussion.

Suddenly, I don't feel well that day. I went home straightly after our the last
class without checking my cell phone, alam ko namang nagt-text si Chancent kapag
uwian at nagkikita kami sa labas pero wala akong gana ngayon. I think I should just
rest at home.

Ganoon ang ginawa ko sa maghapon pagtapos magreview ng ilang notes, Mommy and Daddy
were both busy with business matters. Ganoon din ang dalawang kapatid ko kaya buryo
ako sa bahay, I have cousins from Miramontes but they were living on the other
cities.
Mommy:
We can't make it to the dinner tonight, you can invite Behati and Cassandra over.

I sighed heavily. I know that she just wanted me to have a company tonight but I
don't need that. Hindi lang siya sanay sa kaalamang ako lang ang mag-isa sa
hapagkainan ngayon dahil hindi pa sila makakauwi. Nakakatuwa na naiisip niya ako sa
ganoong paraan.

My phone beeped again.

Gabanni:
We'll be having a dinner at Auntie Gelene's residence tonight. We asked Lita to
cook for your dinner, tell her what you want to eat.

Kumunot ang noo ko, agad nawala ang tuwa sa pakiramdam. So, they'll have a dinner
together? I don't know how to accept that in a positive way because Auntie Gelene
hates me, they didn't think of inviting me over because of that fact!

My heart wrenched big time, eyes heated in emotional pain it brought me. Suminghap
ako at niyuko ang ulo.

Someone knocked on my door.

"Ma'am Pallavi, ano ang gusto mong hapunan? Tumawag si Ma'am Gabbana."

"Anything!" I just replied with my constricting chest.

"Beef steak, ho?"

"Kahit ano, po!"

"Adobo, iyong paborito mo, Ma'am? Mechado?"

Iritado akong tumayo sa kama para buksan ang pinto at masigawan siya.

"Sabi ko kahit ano, don't ask me or don't cook! I won't eat tonight!"

Takot ang bumalot sa ekspresyon niya at walang nasabi, I groaned and closed the
door angrily. I was so blinded by the pain and anger, I cried to untie the rope
that was strangling my heart to suffer. Hindi ko na naramdaman ang gutom na
kaninang iniinda dahil natabunan na lamang iyon ng kakaibang sama ng loob.

Kahit kakagaling sa pahinga ay tinulog ko na lang ulit ang nararamdaman, umaasang

wala na iyon kinabukasan. However, it didn't go out for the next days. Dala ko iyon
hanggang sa eskuwelahan at mga klase ko, I'm still thankful that my mind isn't that
crowded but only my heart in pain.

I wore a set of light pink sequins sheer bandeau top and see through pants matched
with my blush sandaled heels for Behati's party tonight. I blow dried my hair and
curled the tips, since I know how to style myself—I didn't need a stylist like
other rich girls. I also did my light make up so I wouldn't seem like a celebrant.

I took my silver sequins purse and went downstairs, Mommy's already there to wait
for my leave. She looked at my top and bottom but didn't say anything, this isn't
my usual style but Patch gave these set of outfit and there's nothing wrong to wear
it. Bumagay naman sa akin.

"I'll leave now," I said casually.

Masama pa rin ang loob ko sa kanya, sa kanilang lahat pero wala naman akong
magagawa kundi tanggapin kung hanggang saan lang ako sa pamilyang ito. Hindi ko na
sasabihin pa iyon, I want her to notice everything and change it for my betterment.
Kung hindi niya naman mapapansin, ayos lang.

She nodded.

"My rules, Sileas. I hope you won't set those aside just because you're in a
party."

Palagi naman, batas niya.

Nagtiim bagang ako at ngumiti na lamang, I kissed her cheek before walking out.
Hindi na siya sumunod sa aking paglabas, I exhaled while walking down on the few
stairs.

My driver for tonight is already waiting, agad akong pinuntahan upang alalayan sa
pagbaba sa ilang baitang at tinanggap ko iyon. Sa likuran ng sasakyan ko ay ang
kararating naman na sasakyan ni Gabanni, she went out and looked at me from head to
toe that sent embarrassed chills.

Suminghap ako at iniwasan ng tingin ang mapang-insulto niyang pagdating, binuksan

ng driver ang pinto para sa akin.

"A party for liberated young ladies?"

I stopped for a bit, I turned to her with annoying smile and shrugged simply. "Have
a good night, Ate. I'll go now."

Hindi ko na inaba pang balikan siya ng tingin at sumakay sa sasakyan, nagpupuyos

ang init sa ulo ko dahil iritado talaga ako sa kanilang lahat at lalo niyang
dinadagdagan iyon.

Papa:
Enjoy the night, baby girl!

That made me smile, medyo gumaan ang kalooban ko sa text ni Papa dahil nasabi ko sa
kanyang pinayagan ako ni Mommy sa party ni Behati.

Ako:
Thank you, Papa.

Papa:
Send me a pic, okay? Love you.

I sent him my mirror shot earlier, to see my outfit.

Ako:
Patch gave me these, it really suits me.

Papa:
Wow! You look amazing as always. You really are my daughter.

Napanguso ako, naisip ko iyong tingin ni Mommy at Gabanni kanina. Naiinis na naman
ako.

Ako:
Mommy doesn't seem to like my outfit tonight and Gabanni insulted it, liberated
daw.

Ganoon ang parati niyang sinasabi sa mga Villareal, sanay na dapat ako pero hindi
ko magawang hindi kainisan ang matabil niyang dila tuwing pamilya nila Papa ang
pinag-uusapan.

Papa:
Really? But don't take it as an insult. It's your style and as long as you're
comfortable wearing it, you are beautiful in your own way. Chin up! Their opinions
shouldn't matter. Hindi naman sila ang magdadala niyan, ikaw lang.

My heart melted.

Ako:
Thank you so much, Pa! You're the coolest father!

Papa:
More than your Dad there?

Natawa ako.

Ako:
Don't make me choose!

Papa:
Okay because I know you don't wanna hurt Hartell's ego.

Mas natawa ko, nailing na lang at hindi na siya sinagot patungkol doon. Nagsend din
ako ng picture kay Patch at nagpasalamat sa regalo niyang damit sa akin, she really
knows my size and what would fit me!

Patch:
Date?

I blinked, ang bilis magreply.

Ako:
No, I'm going to a party. How are you, anyway?

Patch:
I'm fine. You?

Ako:
Ayos din naman. Nasa New York ka?

Patch:
I landed in Philippines last night.

Ako:
Wow! Sa Makati? Hope I can visit you soon or you visit Davao. I miss you!

Hindi siya nagreply, saglit lang din ang aming biyahe patungo sa venue ng party ni
Behati. It only took thirty minutes or more, hindi hassle dahil wala namang
traffic.

Hindi ko alam ang utos ni Mommy sa driver peri baka maghihintay lang iyon sa
parking o kung saan hanggang sa matapos ako rito, Behati's party was in a VIP room
of the five star hotel that was set up with live bands and tables for her different
circle of friends and relatives. Marami nang tao pagkadating ko at umpisa na ang
kanyang party, the music was medley and it's soothing.

I know where my friend's table is and I started walking. Walang theme ang party ni
Behati kaya iba-iba ang istilong nakikita kong kasuotan ng mga bisita, it was a
good decision! Free to wear anything without a rule.

"Hi!" bati sa akin ng nakasalubong na lalaking pamilyar, maybe a schoolmate.

I smiled only.

"Sileas Miramontes, right?" he smiled. "I didn't expect you here, I thought
Miramontes don't do parties."

That choke my embarrassment but I nodded.

"Rarely."

"Anyway, I'm Robi. Gunther's friend. We both graduated in ADDU, same batch."

My lips parted, I nod. "Nice to meet you, Robi."

Did Behati invite my brother, too? She really has a lot of friends even in higher
years, I wish I can freely make friends like her.

Robi is nice, he even insisted to take me to our table. Ilang saglit pa kaming nag-
usap bago siya nagpaalam at sinabing ikumusta siya kay Gunther. Sa lamesa namin,
sila Cassandra at ibang mga kaibigan ang naabutan ko. Jian is also there with
Louie, it made me flinch mentally since I heard what he did to Jian. This ass, may
gana pa talagang humarap dito.

Ano na naman kaya ang pang-aamo na ginawa ni Jian para mapapayag si Behati? Wala
siya sa paningin ko, malamang abala sa pakikipag-usap sa ibang bisita.

"Wow! Wow! Hindi ka naman masyadong nag-effort?" puna sa akin ni Cassandra sabay
tayo para bumeso sa akin. "I like your outfit so much!"

I giggled. "Thank you!"

"I thought you'd bring a date tonight but... oo nga pala, hindi puwede sa Mommy
mo!"

I shrugged. "I don't have anyone to bring, though."

"Paano kung mayroon?" may gulat niyang tanong, natatawa.

"I won't still bring one!" I laughed.

They laughed at that.

"Hindi mo kaya!"

The night is still young, sabay kaming tumungo sa buffet table ni Cassandra para
kumuha ng pagkain. Nakisama na rin sila Jian sa amin, tahimik ang palitan namin ng
tingin ni Cassandra. Lumayo kami sa kanila at giniya niya ako sa ibang menu. 

"Sabi ko kakausapin ko, e. Kaso nagdala ng hayop," bulong niya.

"Sila pa rin."
"Yup, obviously. She said, he's forgiven."

I gasped and shook my head in dismay.

"I really hate cheaters."

"I hate fools more, they are being cheated on but they still forgive."

I just sighed. I hope it won't happen to me or anyone close to me, tama na si Jian
lang at siya hetong hindi talaga mapagsabihan. Bumalik kami sa lamesa at kumain,
the live band was performing perfectly. They're playing Behati's favorite songs.

I checked my cell phone and found Chancent's name.

Chancent:
Alright, take care.

Wow, kanina pa ako nagreply sa kanya. Ang busy naman yata ng araw niya at sobrang
late ng text pabalik!

Ako:
Were you so busy?

Chancent:
I just went back to my hotel room from the meeting. I'm sorry for replying late.

I sipped on my juice and replied.

Ako:
Fine. I don't care.

Chancent:
In which hotel are you?

Ako:
The Royal Mandaya. Why?

Chancent:
Nothing.

Ako:
Ikaw?

Chancent:
Royal Mandaya. Haha.

I gasped out and typed quickly. Seriously?

Ako:
Really?

Chancent:
Yup. Are you gonna drink?

Ako:
Hindi siguro, Mommy already warned me.

Chancent:
Even a few shots? She wouldn't know that.
Ako:
Baka maamoy ako.

Chancent:
Haha, seriously? Bubble gum or candy will help.  It's a party afterall, not a mass.
Enjoy it.

I sighed heavily and pouted, nag-angat ako ng tingin kila Cassandra na ngayon ay
umiinom na ng alak habang nagkukuwentuhan.

Ako:
I'll try. Thank you!

I suddenly remembered something, I texted him again before he could reply.

Ako:
By the way, Patch is in the Philippines.

Chancent:
Uhuh.

Ako:
You know?

Chancent:
She informed me.

Hmm, so nauna pa siguro niyang malaman dahil inimporma nga siya ni Patch? Kung ayaw
na ni Patch kay Heidden, bakit nakikipag-usap pa rin siya kay Chancent? Hindi ba
dapat layuan na rin niya o iwasan ang kamag-anak noon?

Ako:
Does Heidden know?

Chancent:
I don't know.

Ako:
Are you still connected?

Chancent:
She's a friend, Sileas.

Napalunok ako at medyo nakaramdam ng kakaibang tono kahit hindi ko naman siya
naririnig. I don't know why but it's bothering me now.

Ako:
Okay...

Chancent:
Is it bad?

I took a deep breath. I just don't like the idea that they're still communicating
after what happened to Patch and Heidden! I don't like them talking, too.

Ako:
She's your friend, right?
She's "just" a friend, my bothered mind says. And why do I care about it, though?
I'm just concern! Where? Because Heidden might see it wrongly. Right.
#UM13
#UM13

The night went busy for all of us at Behati's birthday celebration—I had to take
few shots for Behati's rants since she invited me, I need to be cool to grant her
wishes as a celebrant tonight. It was already ten in the evening when I felt groggy
but I couldn't still say no.

"Come on, you have a driver!" Behati said.

I smiled and shook my head as I took the glass of vodka from her.

"Last one!" I said and lifted the glass so they would see that I'll drink it.

They watched and cheered me up with screams along the room's music, I drank it and
my face distorted in bitterness. It doesn't really taste good but it gives a good
feeling as the time passes by.

"Paano magmake face ang maganda! Grabe! Kung lalaki lang ako, matagal ko nang
hinabol si Pallavi!"

Natawa ako at nilapag ang baso. I simply thanked them.

"Ang ganda, 'no! Crush ni Kuya 'yan, kaso baka child abuse daw siya!"

"Seriously? He's just twenty-five and older men are hotter than the young ones now!
You should push them to be together, help your brother!" ani Cassandra sabay tawa.

"Oh, no! Kay Quentin pa rin!" giit ni Behati sabay tayo. "Anyway, wait! I'll call
him, dapat kanina pa nandito iyon! I thought he's excited to meet Pallavi! Traffic
siguro!"

"Wow! Quentin Saldivar will be here!"

Okay, I don't know how to react. I just laughed, medyo hindi ko na nga maintindihan
ang ibang sinasabi nila at hindi ako puwedeng mahilo o malasing. Where can I buy a
candy? The hotel has no store! I need to at least calm my breath down so I can act
normal.

My cell phone vibrated, I quickly opened it. May mga mensahe si Patch, Papa,
Chancent at ibang mga numero na hindi ko kilala.

Patch:
Are you still there? I can't sleep.

I was texting with Patch, she replied on my last chat and told me she's gonna visit
me when she gets time. It seems like she has a list of things to do in Philippines
this month and my curiosity is nowhere now, pero kung normal na gabi siguro ay baka
tinanong ko kung anong mga plano niya rito.

Ako:
Yeah, I'm still here.

Patch:
Unexpected na pinayagan ka ng Mom mo lumabas at uminom.

Ako:
Hindi ako pinayagan uminom, this is strictly no alcoholic activities but I don't
care. Gusto ko makasabay kahit papaano.

Which is true, I really wanna join my friends tonight. I'd be out of place if I
didn't take their offers, minsan lang naman ang ganitong gabi sa buhay ko. This
won't fail my grades.

Patch:
Atta girl, you need to break rules to enjoy the life sometimes!

Ako:
That's why I'm so jealous of how you experience life!

Patch:
Well, I break rules to follow happiness. Try it some time! Haha.

I took a deep breath, I felt a slight pang in my chest. Naiinggit talaga ako kay
Patch, kung tutuusin ay sobrang tino ng pamumuhay ko kaysa sa kanya pero ang
sobrang tino ay hindi masaya sa pakiramdam. I experienced being a good daughter and
being a free daughter when I was with Villareals, Papa never stopped me from
drinking with my cousins because he said that he trusts me.

Ako:
I will!

I exited the thread and read another messages from Chance on Viber. Maingay pa rin
ang mga kasama ko sa lamesa pero bingi na ako sa panlalabo ng huwisyo, heto talaga
ang epekto ng alak sa katawan at isip. Mahirap labanan dahil nakakapanghina.

Chancent:
Still okay?

Ngumuso ako at muling huminga ng malalim. I don't feel good, honestly, but I still
wanna drink.

Ako:
Feel a lil bit hot right now.

Chancent:
Calm down, stop taking shots.

Ako:
Why do you sound so serious right now?

Chancent:
Because I'm really serious.

Ako:
I need candy or a bubble gum, Chance. Uuwi na rin siguro ako dahil medyo malabo na
ang tingin ko.

Seriously, I don't feel good now. Maybe, I need to stop because my head is already
spinning especially when I looked around the table. There's a part in me that I
don't wanna stop and I need to it.

Chancent:
Did you text your driver?

Ako:
I will now.

Chancent:
Alright, drink water.

I did that, I asked for water and went to the restroom to retouch. Hindi naman ako
pinigilan ng mga kaibigan, wala pa rin ang makulit na si Behati kaya walang
pumipigil at pumipilit sa akin. I texted my driver but he wasn't replying, medyo
frustrated ako dahil ang tagal niyang sumagot at ako'y inaantok na.

Lumabas ako ng banyo at nagpaalam na kila Behati, I'll just call my driver when I
get out. Mahirap na at baka pigilin pa ako ni Behati. Thankfully, she was so busy
with other friends who just arrived. She also told me that Quentin couldn't make it
to her celebration, may urgent call daw iyong natanggap.

Chancent:
He's still not replying? Nasa labas ka na ba?

Ako:
Oo, wala pa rin. Naiinis na ako.

I tried to call my driver when I went out and waited in the main lobby but he
wasn't answering, too. I'm so stressed, nasaan ba siya? Nakatulog? I don't even
know where he parked the car! Ang usapan ay maghihintay siya sa akin at iyon dapat
ang gawain niya! How unprofessional!

Chancent:
Where are you exactly?

Ako:
Lobby. I'm so sleepy, I don't know where he parked our car.

Chancent:
Are you alone? I'll go down.

Ako:
Okay.

Oo nga pala, we're in the same hotel. Pinagtitinginan ako ng ilang foreigners na
guests, nadadaan kasi sa lobby at naroon lang ako nakatayo habang iritado.

Minutes had passed and my irritation didn't calm down, I've been texting and
calling my driver nonstop. Iyong cell phone niya ay nawala na ang linya kalaunan at
lalong namuo ang galit ko.

Ako:
You're fired! I will tell Mommy about how unprofessional you are!

That old man is so annoying! How could he do this!?

Gusto kong magtext kay Gunther pero ayaw ko siyang istorbohin sa oras na ito, si
Gabanni? Dadagdagan niya lang ang iritasyon ko at si Mommy? Hindi puwede lalo dahil
amoy alak ako at siguradong tulog na, she told the driver everything and yet this
driver isn't worth it! I don't wanna see his face anymore!

Ilang saglit pa ay nakita ko na si Chancent, mukhang kagigising lang. He's just

wearing a white shirt and gray shorts with slides, his short hair was down without
anything to fix it. He smiled slightly when our visions crossed, my heart pummeled
as he looked down on my outfit for tonight—his right brow arched up.
I smiled at him, I couldn't feel my face now. Mabigat lang ang mga mata ko. Chance
is purely handsome, he's hotter in my eyes when he wears simple clothes.

"Hi!" I greeted gleefully.

He pursed his lips while looking at me, bahagyang lukot ang mga kilay at tila
kuryoso sa aking mga kilos.

I stepped to walk closer but I tumbled, I gasped out in nervous but Chance was fast
to save my fall. He immediately held my elbow.

Natawa pa ako. "I'm sorry!" I straightened up but I tumbled again that made him
hold me on my waist, I gasped. "Shit, I'm so clumsy!"

"It's fine, careful." He chuckled roughly while caressing my small back, his other
hand held my other elbow to support me.

He smells so nice and fresh, humawak ako sa braso niya upang suportahan ang sarili
ko.

"Want me to carry you?"

Napakurap-kurap ang mabigat kong mga mata at inangatan siya ng tingin, he's looking
at me with a little curl of his red lips.

"You will?" I gasped.

He chuckled out and nodded.

"Uhm, that's a joke but if you want—it's fine, you're wearing high heels. Your
ankle must be so tired."

I pouted, I feel so heavy and tired. Ayos lang siguro na magpabuhat dito. Inabot ko
ang strap ng heels ko para tanggalin, Chance was supporting my elbow. Yumuko na rin
siya para abutin iyon at siya mismo ang naghawak, narinig ko pa ang maliit niyang
pagtawa.

"So... piggy back or bridal style?"

Suminghap ako at pikit ang mga matang nagkibit ng balikat.

"Just carry me, I need to find my damn annoying driver."

Marahan niyang kinuha ang braso ko upang ipulupot sa kanyang batok, I giggled.
Maya-maya pa ay inangat na niya ako. He's holding my heels and purse now. Kung
normal lang ako ay baka nahiya ako kaso ayaw ko na talaga maglakad.

"I'll just drive you home, tell me your address."

I shrugged. "Mm-kay."

Hindi ko na ramdam ang sarili noong oras na ma-relax ako sa kanyang buhat, I just
heard him talking to the valet and the car door's sounds. I don't know how he
managed me so careful that time, I just felt the soft seat of his car and I didn't
get to witness everything because I passed out.

Nagising lang ako noong narinig ko ulit ang pagbukas ng pinto at simoy ng hangin
mula sa labas. My forehead wrinkled, my eyes were closed.
"Hey, wake up..."

Even when my eyes are closed, I could feel how handsome the owner of the voice.

I purred. "I... don't want."

"You need to sober up, Sileas."

"I need my bed."

"Yup, sure. You just have to wake up first and sober up so your Mom won't see you
this drunk."

I huffed and nodded understandingly.

"Right..." I sat up weakly but my head was down.

He gently held my nape and caressed it until my chin, I feel so comfortable that
made me giggle sleepily. I purred again and brushed my cheek on his warm palm, it
feels so relaxing.

"Come on, open your mouth." He held under my chin to support my head up.

I parted my lips and I felt the touch of cold bottle, followed by the liquid. I was
swallowing the water like it's been days since I drank it. Tulog pa ang kalahati
ko.

"You feel hungry?" he asked.

"A bit." I pouted after drinking.

He wiped my lips that made me smile a little, sa wakas ay nagmulat ako unti-unti
upang tingnan siya. I caught a pair of dark eyes staring at my lips, I felt a
sudden hit inside my chest while looking at him.

My goodness, how could he be so handsome like this? His stare was melting my knees,
he's undeniably gorgeous. Bukod doon ay gustong-gusto ko kung paano siya mag-alaga.

"Okay... we should eat," he said as his eyes shifted to mine and he blinked at the
moment he knew I was looking.

I blinked and inhaled, unti-unting uminit ang mga pisngi ko.

"Are you... I mean, do you wanna k-kiss?"

I don't know what pushes me to ask it but I always catch him looking and glancing
at my lips, I think it's a sign that he wants to kiss me.

His brows furrowed, jaw sharpened. "Hmm?"

I shrugged even with my flushed cheeks and nervous heartbeat.

"Uhm, I just feel like you want to kiss my lips."

Wala yata ako sa tamang pag-iisip, hindi ako nakakaramdam ng hiya ngayon pero
maalala ko naman ito at bukas na ako mahihiya. I really want to know his side about
it, if he wants... well, I don't know.
He tilted his head, bumaba ang sulyap ulit sa labi ko.

"Of course, you have a pair of fucking attractive lips..."

My cheeks heated as my heart.

"But?"

He sighed. "I don't wanna start that way."

"What do you mean?"

"You're drunk, Sileas."

"I'm not, I just feel sleepy but I'm normal."

Hindi naman ako kagaya ni Patch noong nalasing!

He raised a brow. "Why? Do you wanna kiss?"

I bit my bottom lip and shrugged.

"I'm just asking you."

"Uh-huh." He chuckled gruffly. "I wanna kiss you so bad." He lifted the bottle he's
holding and sipped on it.

Suminghap ako, that was the bottle! Pumarte ang labi ko habang pinapanood siya.

"But my intention is pure and serious, Sileas. If you wanna kiss, let me court you
first."

My eyes widened, my heart started hitting my chest so harsh. Hindi ko napigilang

suminghap at magulat doon.

"W-What?"

Para akong nagising bigla. Yes, we know each other for months and I'm still getting
to know him more by days. I'm really comfortable with him around and I like his
company so much but... is he seriously saying this? This was so unexpected because
I know he doesn't take girls seriously.

His adams apple moved up when he swallowed calmly.

"Let me get your kisses in a right way."

I gasped out. "Are you being serious, Chancent?"

He nodded, weighing my reactions. He licked his lips and nodded again.

"Don't you have Miss Davao or any girlfriends around the cities?"

Kumunot ang noo niya at ngumiwi.

"I already told you, I don't have girlfriends."

"Are you sure?"

He frowned. "So sure."

"Uso pa ba 'yon?"

"Of course."

Umiwas ako ng tingin at lumabi.

"Isn't it too old school?"

Hindi na uso iyon, hindi ko alam kung bakit ang dali-dali kong magdesisyon ngayon.
Pakiramdam ko ay sayang ang mga araw at masasayang kung patatagalin iyon.
Physically and emotionally speaking, I like Chance and I know I'll like him more.
Ang kailangan ko lang isipin ngayon ay kung paano itatago iyon.

He sighed, humawak siya sa sandalan ng upuan ko at pinto ng sasakyan—kinukulong

ako.

"Hindi ka pa nagkaboyfriend, 'di ba?" aniya, tumango ako. "I want to make you feel
courtship and that also means, you'll know me more. I want you to have a choice."

"I already experienced courtship, Chancent. And I know you for months!"

Seriously, am I too desperate and fast?

Tumitig siya sa akin, kinagat ang ibabang labi na tila tinitimbang ang lahat sa
akin. Ilang saglit pa kaming magkatitigan doon saka siya nagbuntong-hininga.

"Tell me what do you want, then..."

I pouted and inhaled deeply.

"I don't know..."

"You want me to be your boyfriend?" he challenged.

My heart got stunned, kabado man ako ay hindi ko pinahalata. Huminga ako ng
napakalalim at umiwas ng tingin, I looked at my fingers on my lap.

"I know it's fast but yeah." I shrugged.

He gasped out slowly. "Seriously..."

Agad akong nag-angat ng tingin upang dumipensa.

"I know how it seems so easy but really, I'm not a fan of courtship. We can just
start dating or whatever." I sighed heavily at the sudden realization that stabbed
my heart. "And I realized that you don't commit. I'm so stupid."

"Hey..." he called gently. "I never said anything like that, Sileas. I like you,
alright. I rarely like someone, the reason why I do flings but I'm serious about
you."

"That's important! You're serious about me. I'll be fine, then!" I retorted.

He nodded. "Sure. But I wanna get your parents permission first."

Namilog ang mga mata ko.

"Never! You can't do that!"

Medyo gulat siya sa biglaan kong sagot, mabilis ang paghinga ko sa naramdamang kaba
tungkol dito.

"I mean, Mommy's really strict when it comes to this. We can just make it private
for now," bawi ko.

He didn't talk, huminga lang ng malalim.

I don't really like that idea. However, I like how he suggested it because nobody
wants to get Miramontes' permission even how much they liked me. They're scared to
be rejected!

Now I believe how serious Chancent's intention is, he would really go that far.

I smiled a bit at him, he's just watching me.

"I'm sorry."

"It's alright..."
#UM14
#UM14

"I fired your driver this morning."

Napahinto ako sa pagkain at inangatan ng tingin si Mommy, bahagyang nagkibit

balikat ako.

"He deserved it." I continued eating.

I didn't like what he did and I don't give chances to stupid, how dare he made me
wait and ignore my messages? I needed him, I needed to go home!

Kumunot ang noo ni Gunther.

"You fired him? He told you that he had an emergency call."

Mommy sipped on her tea. "That's not an excuse, it's his only job."

"What?" singhap ni Gunther. "His son got into an accident, Mom! And that's an
excuse, he was worried. It wasn't intentional to leave Pallavi there."

My head turned to them again, my forehead wrinkled. I don't see any regrets on
Mom's face and Daddy was just listening while Gunther's annoyed with the topic.

I didn't know the reason, I just wanted to fire my driver but hearing this makes me
feel guilty. My goodness, how could I be so heartless to fire him with that reason?

Kaso wala na, si Mommy ang nagtanggal sa kanya. I shrugged it off, I didn't
interrupt their talk. Uminom ako ng tubig, medyo mabigat ang pakiramdam sa nalaman.

"I don't care, Gunther. It's a job to do, he's her only driver. Paano kung kapatid
mo ang napahamak kagabi?"

"But she's safe."

"She took a taxi to go home and you know how dangerous it is." Mommy turned to me.
"And why didn't you call me, instead?"
Kinabahan agad ako sa baling niya, humugot ako ng malalim na hininga. I didn't take
a taxi to go home, I just told her that because I can't tell about Chancent. I'm
sure she'll do something to know who brought me home.

"I know you're already resting that time, I don't wanna—"

"You can call me, Pallavi!" si Gunther, iritado sa aking rason.

"Alam kong nagpapahinga ka na, I don't really want to interrupt all of you here
because I have a driver to take me home safely."

Just to save myself from their argument, I need to drag the driver's mistake again
so he could be the one at fault. He's fired, anyway. Mommy decided that, not me.

Tumitig sa akin si Mommy, tipid ang tango kalaunan sa aking nabiling rason. I
sighed in relief and continued eating my food.

Hindi na nakipagtalo si Gunther nang oras na iyon pero hindi na rin naituloy ang
kanyang pananatili, nagpaalam siya sa amin upang makaalis na. I feel guilty for
ruining his breakfast and day, I know it really annoyed him that I also wanted to
fire my driver and I like Mommy's decision but it already happened.

Mommy doesn't really listen, she'll do everything she wants and her mind is set up
to decide without thinking about the other excuses behind the mistake. Ganoon ko
siyang nakilala at iyon din ang nakatala sa pag-iisip ko. I believe that the one
and only chance is the first chance I'll be giving to someone. I don't really
believe in second chances, one mistake is already a mistake that will discourage my
idea about anyone and that's enough to give.

Iyon nga yata ang nakuha ko sa mga Miramontes. After all my bad idea about the
family I'm in, I'm still one of them—sharing blood and same attitude.

Sunday was going well, I stayed at home talking to Chancent the whole day while I
was so bored. Wala akong kasama sa bahay kundi ang mga kasambahay, wala namang day
off ang mga Placido at parating nasa kani-kanilang trabaho.

"I'll probably go out to shop today!" I told Chance.

He was in a coffee shop, with a Macbook and papers on his table while having his
coffee. Honestly, I'm still feeling awkward about what happened last night because
I could remember everything. Especially, the confession he made and my damn mouth
for asking if he wants to kiss!

I was so stupid, I know!

Kabado tuloy ako tuwing magkausap kami kahit normal na pag-uusap lang naman, I feel
so nervous that he might bring it up. I don't wanna be embarrassed. So far, he was
just asking if I'm alright.

He sipped on his coffee and looked at the screen to see me, his brow arched up
slightly. Chance was born with his fucking expressions that could trigger every
girls attraction and shyness. He's so handsome and I still can't believe that he
likes me, too.

"You have a new driver?"

"Uh, yes... Mommy fired the last one."

"Really? What was his reason, if you don't mind me asking."

I shrugged. "My brother said that he had an emergency call, his son got into an
accident."

Sumandal siya sa backrest ng inuupuan at medyo salubong ang mga kilay na makapal sa
liwanag mula sa labas ng cafe. He's wearing a black button down shirt, the first
buttons were off.

"Isn't that enough excuse?"

"Mommy's decision. She doesn't care about it and I think, he kinda deserved it. He
could reply or answer my call to tell that, baka napagbigyan ko pa siya kaso wala.
He made me wait, he ignored me."

His forehead creased, I don't know what he's thinking now because he seems a bit
disappointed.

"Besides, he can find another boss. I just didn't really like what he did even with
that excuse, he should've informed me para hindi ako naghintay doon!"

He sighed heavily. "Don't you think it's cruel? His son is in the hospital and he
lost his job for worrying and running to know his son's condition?"

My chest heaved.

"Well, hindi na mawawala sa isip ko ang nangyari. It wouldn't be erased in my mind

that he failed me already, I can have a new driver. Giving second chances isn't my
thing." I shook my head.

His jaw slightly sharpened, umiwas siya ng tingin sa screen at hindi na nagsalita.
Ngumuso ako at inabala ang sarili sa pag-aayos ng buhok at may binabasa na siya sa
papel ngayon.

"Are you busy?" I asked after a minute of silence.

"Why?"

I smiled. "I'll go out to buy things."

Hindi pa rin siya tumitingin sa screen ulit, he was busy reading the paper he's
holding while listening to me. He nodded.

"Samahan kita?" tahimik niyang tanong.

"If you're not busy!"

"I'm a bit busy but I can free my time for you."

I inhaled deeply, uminit ang pisngi sa hiya dahil naisip kong sinasabi niya lang
iyon pero alam kong abala siya dahil nag-uumpisa pa lang ang kanilang trabaho rito
sa Davao. I know how hassle it is and it will be. However, I appreciate that he can
free some of his time just to be with me.

"Never mind, I'll just go out with my friends. Nagchat din naman sa akin si
Behati."

He finally looked at the screen, I forced a cheerful smile.

"You sure?"
I nodded. "Yeah, I'm gonna meet them later so we can go shopping together!"

He nodded. "Alright, take care on your way out."

Eventually, we ended the call. I'm slightly disappointed with my decision but I
know it's the right thing to do, I don't wanna take his time just because I want to
be with him and see him. He's already working and he can't always spend time with
me, ayaw ko ring sanayin ang sarili ko na ganoon dahil ayaw kong maging dahilan ng
pagkawala niya ng konsentrasyon sa trabaho.

I went out with my new driver. I wore a D and G off shoulder leopard print midi
dress, pair of black stilettos and black purse. My hair was in a clean formal
ponytail.

Mahigpit na pinaalalahanan ni Mommy na hihintayin ako ng bagong driver at

matatawagan agad oras na magpasundo ako. The new driver looked okay, though. I hope
he won't be a problem again, ayaw ko na pinaghihintay ako.

Hindi ko inasahan na may kasama si Behati ngayon. Habang naghihintay ako sa resto
ay namataan ko agad si Quentin, wearing a white button down shirt and a faded jeans
—he looked so casual even with a grin on his lips while talking to Behati. He never
really got ugly ever since, he's the same baby face man.

"Hey!" Behati already went to my side, she seems so cheerful. "Wow! You look so
gorgeous!"

"Thank you!"

Tumayo ako upang makipagbeso sa kanya, Quentin greeted me with a smile and hi as he
held on my small back to also give a peck on my cheek.

"Quen." I smiled and sat down again.

Nag-upuan na rin silang dalawa, Behati pushed Quentin to sit beside me and I have
no problem with it. Sumenyas na sa waiter si Quentin upang manghingi ng menu, we
all started to talk while looking at the menu.

"Plans today?" si Behati.

"Up to you, I just went out to buy few things."

"Nabili mo na?"

I nodded and pointed my shopping bags. Ilang oras na rin akong mag-isang humanap ng
mga gusto kong bilhin. I bought a pair of new high heels, bags and dresses but I
eventually got tired and hungry. Kausap ko si Behati kanina pa pero wala siya sa
mall at sa hapon pa nakapunta kaya hindi ko na hinintay.

"I'm good, too. I bought what I needed." She laughed. "Quen?"

Quentin shrugged and glanced at me.

"It's up to you, ladies. My day is free."

Behati giggled, ilang saglit pa ay namilog ang mga mata niya habang nakatingin sa
cellphone. Nagmadali siyang tumayo, dinakot ang purse sa lamesa.

"What happened?" I asked worriedly.

She waved her hand and kissed me on the cheek quickly then Qeuntin's.

"Sorry, I have an important meeting! I'll go first!"

Kunot na kunot ang noo ko habang pinapanood ang mabilis na paglalakad ni Behati
paalis ng resto, Quentin chuckled beside me.

"Is this okay, Pallavi?" he asked.

I pouted and sighed. "Of course!"

He nodded and smiled, wala namang issue. Nagawa na namin ito noong nakaraan.

"I just thought this would make you uncomfortable."

I shook my head. "No, really. This is fine."

Ilang minuto pa ay lumapit ulit ang waiter para kunin na ang aming order. We talked
while waiting for our food, our topic is all about school stuff and his work in
Canada. Nakakatuwa kausap si Quentin, he doesn't make me feel awkward at all
because he's doing the talk.

"A work is a work, I don't get tired of doing it because I'm earning by myself.
Masarap din sa pakiramdam na sariling hard work 'yong pinambibili ng luho."

I smiled. "You're right! I really wanna work already!"

"You can do it but you're gonna enter law school, right?"

"Oo, e." Sobrang kinakabahan talaga ako tuwing napag-uusapan ang law school, para
akong palaging may nalulunok na bato.

It feels like I can't do that, I can't go law school because I don't wanna hassle
myself. I know what I can just embrace but... I need to be one to make them proud
and the running title of the family won't be ruined because of my wanted path.

He nodded with a smile. "That will be your busy stage in life!"

"Yeah, and I'm so nervous to think about it!"

He laughed a bit. "Just trust yourself, wala namang imposible kung gusto mo
talaga."

My smile went down slowly because I don't really wanna be a lawyer. For me, even
with just a thought—it's so hard to be a lawyer.

Our food arrived in no time and we were just happily talking while eating. He talks
and asks a lot about me, naalala ko tuloy si Chancent kapag magkasama kami. After
eating, I checked my cell phone. May ilang mensahe roon, kay Chancent ang inuna
kong buksan.

Chancent:
Are you still in the mall?

Kanina pa ang text na iyon, sa kalagitnaan ng aming pagkain. My heart pummeled,

sinagot ko iyon habang nagkukuwento si Quentin.

Ako:
Yup, why?

Chancent:
With your friend?

Ako:
Oo.

Chancent:
Okay.

Ako:
It's a guy friend, by the way.

Chancent:
Uhuh.

Ngumuso ako. Bakit ang cold niya?

"Texting your boyfriend?" Quentin asked.

Agad ko siyang binalingan ng tingin, ngumiti ako at tinabi ang cell phone.

"No, I don't have a boyfriend."

The day with Quentin went smoothly nice, siya ang nagbayad sa aming kinain at
hinatid niya ako sa aming sasakyan habang dala ang mga pinamili ko—nagpasalamat ako
sa kanya bago mamaalam. I already texted the driver about my exit and he waited for
me, tahimik ang biyahe pauwi kaya naisipan kong tingnan ulit ang cell phone.

Ako:
Are you okay?

Chancent:
Yeah

Ako:
Wala ka sa mood?

Chancent:
No. I'll call you when you get home.

Kunot ang noo ko habang nagrereply.

Ako:
Okay.

Ganoon nga ang ginawa niya nang sabihin kong nakauwi na ako, palagay ko ay hindi
lang talaga siya mahilig magtext kaya mas gusto ang tawag. It's past five in the
evening, nasa bahay na si Mommy nang oras na iyon pero nasa silid at tingin ko'y
nagpapahinga.

"Heidden was in the same restaurant, he said you were having a date with someone,"
Chancent said casually.

Suminghap ako nang mabanggit niya iyon kalaunan, I don't see his face right now
that's frustrating me because I couldn't get to read his expression while saying
it.
"Really? I didn't see him there and that wasn't a date, Chance!"

Hindi naman talaga date iyon, bakit ganoon agad ang sinabi ni Heidden kung nakita
niya nga talaga? Ang exaggerated naman noon!

"Uh-hm."

"It's Quentin, a friend. Kasama namin si Behati noon kaso naunang umalis dahil may
meeting na importante."

I don't know why I'm explaining my side but I think, he's my suitor? He should know
because it will be so insensitive of me if I set him behind. Ewan ko ba, sabi ko
naman sa kanya na gusto ko siyang maging boyfriend pero uso pala sa kanya ang
panliligaw bago relasyon.

I cleared my side and we got okay as the time passed, I really like Chancent to be
my first boyfriend. He's years older than me but I can see him as a good boyfriend
for me. Medyo nag-aalangan lang ako dahil sa mga nalaman ko noon kay Patch, e.
Hindi ko mapigilan mag-alala para sa sarili na baka sasaktan niya ako sa reputasyon
niyang natabunan ko ng tiwala.

The weeks continued running until finals, I was busy with school but I was with
Chancent every lunch break and after class. He makes time to see me and I really
appreciate his presence while having my hell week. It was a good diversion, he's
been my light.

"Wanna watch a movie?" he asked while sipping on his juice.

I inhaled and smiled. "Saan? Sa condo mo?"

He got a condo near their site so he can visit it without hassle, madalas ko ring
makita si Heidden kapag sinasama ako ni Chance sa condo niya. We don't really hang
out in his unit but the building has a cafe to spend time in, doon din ako nagre-
review nitong nakaraan.

Tumaas ang isa niyang kilay, naglaro ang magkahalong mangha at tuwa sa mga matang
nakatitig sa akin.

"We won't do something bad, it's just a movie!" I defended quickly. "I'm not that
kind of girl!"

His eyes lingered on me with more amusement, naghilig siya ng mga braso sa lamesang
namamagitan sa amin at napailing.

"You're giving me ideas, Sileas."

I pouted, can't understand what he's saying.

"Come on, nagsasawa na ako sa cafe na 'to!"

"I meant, watch a movie in the mall."

"Magsasayang ka lang ng pera! Ikaw na ang gumagastos sa akin sa ilang linggo, e!"

"I don't care about it, I'm working."

"That's it, you're working for it and you're just spending it for me!"

He sighed. "Let's stop talking about money."

I rolled my eyes.

"Ewan ko sayo, bahala ka na. Hindi na ako sasama sayo sa susunod, we'll just meet
but I won't let you spend money for me again."

He didn't talk, he just looked at me.

"I can't believe we're fighting over a movie in your condo unit, wala namang masama
kung doon na lang manonood." Pabulong-bulong kong sinabi.

He chuckled gruffly. "Alright, we'll watch a movie in my place."

Pinilit kong umirap at bumusangot kahit narinig iyon, I just really want a place
where we can't be seen by other people because it's scaring me. Ilang linggo ko
nang nagagawa pero kabado pa rin ako tuwing magkasama kami sa public places.

We went to his unit after our conversation, I look like a happy kid as we get
inside. It wasn't spacious as how Gunther's unit is but it's clean and new, mag-isa
lang din naman siya. Mommy just chose a luxury unit for Gunther.

Dala ni Chance ang Gucci bag ko sa kanyang braso at sumunod sa pagpasok ko, he
looked normal but I can sense a bit of hesitation in his act.

"You have a nice place!"

He puckered his lips and licked the bottom before walking into the living area,
nilapag niya sa sofa ang bag ko.

"What do you wanna watch?"

Lumakad din ako papunta roon, I sat down where he sat while controlling the remote.

"We can watch on Netflix! You can choose your type!"

He glanced. "You are my type."

Nagkatinginan kami at medyo namilog ang mga mata ko, siya naman ay tumawa.

"I'm just kidding."

I gasped in disbelief, tumagilid ako para maharap siya. "So you're just fooling
around, huh? Why are you courting me if I'm not your type?"

"I meant the line I just said now, I don't like how it sounds!"

I shrugged it off and took the remote from him, nakabusangot akong pumili ng
panonoorin para makanood na lang kami kaysa mairita ako sa mga biro niya.

I chose a series because I liked the cover, it was interesting. The movie started,
since it's a series—I understand the slow pace. It was about a love affair, money
and influence. I really like how it goes that made me focus on every little detail
of the episode.

Kaya naman sa sumunod na araw ay muli ko siyang kinulit na ituloy namin ang serye,
I have a Netflix account but I don't wanna watch it alone. Buryo ako kapag mag-isa,
mahilig kasi akong magsabi sa kasama ko ng mga hinaing.

I carefully glanced at Chancent, abala rin siya sa panonood pero halatang antok. I
can see his teary eyes after a yawn, may yakap siyang throw pillow sa kanyang tiyan
at nakade-quatro ang mga binti.

"Don't you like the episode?" I asked.

He blinked and looked at me.

"I like it, I just feel sleepy today but I'll watch it with you."

"Hindi mo naman yata iniintindi!" bintang ko.

He laughed sleepily sexy. "Don't mind me, please. Just watch it."

I scowled and nodded, I continued watching it. Medyo bumigat na rin ang mga mata ko
sa tagal ng paglalaan ko ng oras sa telebisyon, I yawned and rested my back. My
attention was caught when his cellphone on the center table vibrated with a tone,
it was a text.

Sinulyapan ko siya, he's fast asleep now. Binalik ko ang tingin sa cellphone niya
at binasa ang pangalan.

It's Heidden, an unknown number and Patch. Kunot ang noo ko, bakit nagtetext pa rin
sila ni Patch? Wala namang mali roon dahil nga magkaibigan sila, pero ayaw ko ang
ideya na iyon.

Hindi ko na sana papansinin iyon pero muling umilaw ang cellphone sa panibagong
mensahe ni Patch. I moved a bit to get the cell phone but that made him open his
sleepy eyes.

"Is it done? You hungry?" he asked and sat up.

Thankfully, he didn't notice that I was about to touch his cell phone but I really
wanna know...

Umiling ako. "New episode."

He nodded. "I'll get you a drink."

"I'm not thirsty," I said. "May mga nagt-text sayo, kanina pa nagba-vibrate ang
phone mo."

He acts normal, he took his cell phone and typed his passcode to open it. Marahan
akong umurong para lumapit at makita iyon.

Heidden:
Alright, how was it? Have you convinced the owner?

Huminga ako ng malalim at mas umusisa roon pero inignora na niya ang ibang mensahe
pagtapos sagutin ang text ni Heidden. He inhaled and locked his cell phone again
before giving his attention back to me.

He relocated his position to face me completely, humawak siya sa sandalan ko at

kahit antok ang mga mata ay hindi maikakaila ang kislap noon habang nakatingin sa
akin.

"Are you upset?"

I shrugged. "Tinutulugan mo ang palabas, e. Pero alam ko namang pagod ka, ayos
lang."
His lips curled.

"Can I hold you?"

I shrugged again. "Yeah. You'll be my boyfriend soon, it's okay."

Humalakhak siya, his ears blushed and eyes glimmered more as he moved closer and
held on my back—his palm brushed slowly until my hips and caressed me gently.

I shivered but I let it go, this should be normal. At least, he's not just a
friend. I pouted while looking at him, hindi ko nga lang matagalan kaya umiwas ako
ng tingin.

"Are you still texting with Patch?"

His brow arched up. I moved closer and rested my hand on his lap, I looked at him
again. Bahagyang nagsalubong ang kilay niya at sinulyapan ang kamay kong lumapag sa
kanyang hita.

I swallowed calmly.

"Why are you being friends with your cousin's ex girlfriend?" I sighed. "Uh... I
get that you're friends but I... don't like the idea. You seem so close."

I wanna be vocal about this because he should know my dislikes so he can help me
out of my insecurities and doubts.

He sighed heavily and gently squeezed my waist. My heart softened, I suddenly

forgot about my doubts.

"She's just asking about Heidden. She's nothing more than a friend, Sileas..."
#UM15
#UM15

Chancent and I continued dating for weeks, he's already staying in Davao for two
months since our first meeting here and I don't know when will he go back to
Manila. Madalas kasi siyang tawagan ng Mommy niya nitong nakaraang mga araw dahil
namimiss daw siya.

"I'm going back, Pa." He scratched his left brow gently while talking to his father
on his MacBook.

We're currently at the cafe near their site after my class. Dito kami madalas,
kahit kasi dapat nasa office lang siya o unit niya ay masipag siyang magpunta sa
site para i-check iyon.

"What are you really doing there? Heidden with the other engineers can handle the
site, Arlow."

Chance didn't answer.

"Is that a woman?" his father asked again, sounds so curious.

My heart dribbled, I stayed casual even nervous.

"I'm working online, you don't need me that much in Manila. Wala naman akong
gagawin diyan."
Mr. Cash Estrevillo sighed. "I know you're doing good but at least give your Mom a
time to see you because she misses you. Puwede kang bumalik sa Davao."

Chancent glanced at me, I pouted and sipped on my milktea. Huminga siya ng malalim
at muling bumaling sa ama.

"Yes, Papa. I will. Maybe, this week."

"I appreciate that, son."

Tumango lang si Chancent at sinara ang MacBook, minasahe niya ang tulay ng matayog
na ilong-mukhang problemado. I smiled and sat down beside him, I gently caressed
his nape and hair.

"Ayaw mo bang bumalik ng Manila?"

He sighed and turned to me with gentle eyes.

"Not that. I just don't like to travel back and forth but I need to go back and
visit Mama."

"Then, you'll be fine! I'm sure you miss her, too! Ilang araw lang naman siguro
iyon at makakabalik ka na, 'di ba?"

He nodded. "Maybe, a week. Is that okay?"

Gulat pa akong tinatanong niya iyon gayong alam ko naman kalaunan talaga siyang
babalik ng Manila, hindi naman siya puwedeng tumira rito. I should get used to his
absence sometimes, sana lang huwag ako masanay masyado kaso parang ang hirap.

"Why not?" I chuckled. "Basta, I want an update about you."

He laughed a bit. "I'll do that, for sure."

I smiled.

Iyon naman pala, walang problema roon. Ang inaalala ko na lang ay baka mambabae
siya roon, I don't really wanna trust him that much when it comes to girls around.
He might be tempted! Oo, nililigawan niya pa lang ako pero hindi iyon puwede sa
akin. Hindi naman siya puwedeng may ibang habang nililigawan ako, 'di ba?
Kabastusan iyon.

After school the next day, I went to the site because Chance was there. Maaga ang
dismissal namin nang araw na iyon dahil walang professor sa huling klase, mabuti na
lang at hindi ako nahahalata ni Mommy sa ilang buwang gawain. Hindi naman siya
nanghihingi ng reports sa driver kaya panatag ako.

Naglakad ako papasok sa malawak na lote, the construction was already starting. I
covered my nose while walking in because of the dirt, maingay ang mga makinang
ginagamit at ilang trabahador na nagsisigawan tungkol sa kanilang mga kailangan.

Hindi ko nakita agad si Chancent pero siguro'y naggagala lang iyon sa paligid para
panoorin ang ginagawa. Namataan ko ang madungis na si Heidden, he's wearing a white
shirt with a few stains of mud and dirty jeans. Pawisan, nagpapagpag ng mga kamay
mula sa binuhat na hollow blocks.

I walked towards him, dahil kilala na ako ng ibang trabahador ay hindi naman na
sila iyong parang nakakita ng artista gaya noong unang bisita ko rito.
"Hey!" I called Heidden's attention. Wala pa man akong kalahating oras sa gitna ng
initan ay ramdam ko na agad ang pagpapawis.

Sobrang init, tirik na tirik kasi ang araw. I wonder how could they work in the
middle of this climate, hindi ba mahirap iyon? Ang bibigat pa ng trabaho nila at
ano nga bang ginagawa ni Heidden, bakit nakikibuhat siya ng mga bato rito? He's a
boss!

He turned to me, forehead creased. Namumula na ang balat niya sa init ng araw at
medyo marumi rin ang mukha sa alikabok.

"What are you doing here?"

I shrugged and took a glance around the messy place. "Obviously, visiting Chance!"

Luminga siya sa paligid at nagpamaywang, ang isang braso ay nagpunas ng pawis sa

noo at leeg. His hair was in a man bun today, medyo magulo iyon at basa sa pawis.
Gayunpaman, hindi naman siya mukhang mabaho.

"He's probably underground right now, taking rounds."

"Can I go there?" I asked while smiling and looking around.

He rolled his eyes. "Clingy."

Namilog ang mga mata ko sa kanya, agad nakaramdam ng insulto. Medyo guilty rin
dahil hindi ko napapansin na ganoon ako, ngayon lang kinakain ng reyalisasyon.

"I'm not clingy!" at ano naman kung, oo? Bawal ba bumisita sa trabaho? Hindi naman
ako nanggugulo.

He just shrugged and went back to his work.

"Bakit? Si Patch ba, hindi clingy? I don't think so..."

I witnessed how they cling to each other, walang masama roon. Ewan ko ba kung bakit
iritado siya, siguro bitter dahil wala siyang nobya ngayon. Hmm, hindi rin ako
sigurado roon. Sa itsurang iyan, imposibleng mawalan ng babae.

Nakamove on na ba siya sa pinsan ko?

He mocked a laugh.

"At least, she never disturbed me at work."

Nag-init ang ulo ko sa inis pero nanatiling kaswal at hindi nagpapatalo.

"Poor you. It means, she doesn't care about you."

Inis man ako ay hindi ko pinapahalata, tama lang iyan sa kanya nang magising siya.
Noong una, gusto ko siya para kay Patch pero ngayong nakikilala ko siya-may
kagaspangan pala ang ugali kaya hiniwalayan ni Patch.

His jaw clenched, he straightened again to face me with a cold expression that made
me hold my breath. Sumimangot ako para hindi mahalata ang kaba, nagtakip ako ng
ilong dahil sa paghangin at natangay na naman ang mga alikabok.

"Just call Chancent and get out of here, sa ibang lugar ka maghintay dahil hindi
puwede ang maarte rito," kontrolado niyang sambit.
I feel so embarrassed, my nape heated up. Huminga ako ng malalim saka siya ulit
tiningnan.

"Why are you so harsh? Galit ka rin sa akin dahil sa ginawa ng pinsan ko sayo?"

Nagtaas siya ng kilay pero hindi nagsalita at pinilig lang ang kanyang ulo na tila
nag-aabang pa sa mga ibabato ko, lalo akong nainis.

"Stop being bitter," I retorted before walking out.

I was so irritated, umuwi na lang ako para mapakalma ang sarili. Kapag nawawala
kasi ako sa mood ay iba na ang timpla ng buong araw ko, mahirap mapakalma. Si
Chancent lang ang nagpakalma noon kaso hindi ko na naisip, I just informed him that
I'd take a rest for today.

The days flew by like that, school was stressing me out but I can still take it
smoothly just to be a good daughter. I really need to study hard to maintain my
grades especially in major subjects, Chancent was helping me out of stress every
after class that made me feel at ease.

"Naiinggit ako." Malungkot na ngumuso ako habang sina-swipe ang mga pictures ng mga
pinsan ko.

Kumpleto sila, naroon si Patch at ako ang wala talaga pero matuturing pa ring
kumpleto dahil hindi naman ako madalas talaga roon. They are the main circle ever
since, they grew up together and their bond was solid. I can't help but envy, I
wish that I grew up with them to feel the freedom.

Ang lungkot kasi ng sitwasyon ko, hindi ko naranasan ang ganoong bonding kahit sa
mga kapatid at pinsan kong Miramontes. They all grew up in a formal manner, hindi
mahilig magparty at lumabas na magkakasama.

My heart hurt, I looked at Chancent who was watching me.

"Ganito rin ba kayong mga Estrevillo? Noong holidays kasi napansin ko na

magkakasama rin kayong lahat sa Bantayan."

"We take a week for that, madalas nagse-set sila Nyxinea at doon kami kukuha ng
leave para magkasama." He shrugged. "Out of town or country."

"Sana ganoon din sa amin, hindi kasi sila mahilig sa ganyan. Tuwing holidays lang
kami magkakasama, hindi ko pa close ang iba."

I feel bad, it's making me sick. Kapag masama ang loob ko, sumasama rin ang
pakiramdam ko. Hindi kasi normal, parang iba parati ako kahit kapamilya naman.

He smiled, he gently played my hair down. Bahagyang gumagaan ang pakiramdam ko, I
really like Chancent's effect on me. It makes me feel giddy and comforted.

"You really grew up inside a cage, huh."

I nodded. "Yup."

"We should plan trips when I get back."

"Tss, sana madali 'yan. Hindi rin naman ako makakalayo rito, hanggang dito lang
tayo."
"Ganoon?" lumabi siya at nagbuntong-hininga. "Let's just explore around."

"You're working here and I'm studying," talo kong sinabi.

He breathed. "Every weekends, then?"

Nag-isip ako at kalaunang tumango.

Puwede iyon at mag-iisip na ako ng maaring sabihin kay Mommy. I badly want to
introduce Chancent but I'm scared that she might stop us from seeing each other
like what she did to my other suitors, pero naisip ko ring hindi na estudyante si
Chancent at mula rin sa mayamang pamilya kaya baka... lang naman payagan niya ito.

Maybe I can do that next week when he gets back, kailangan ko nang mag-isip ng
magandang pagpapakilala sa kanya para makumbinse si Mommy na payagan siya.

Sa araw ng pag-alis ni Chance pa-Maynila ay maaga akong pumunta sa unit niya, it's
Saturday and I don't have a class. I just told Mommy that I'll be out with Behati
and she approved it.

Behati:
Hey! Hindi mo raw nirereply-an si Quen? Did he do something bad?

My forehead wrinkled while walking in the hallways, I typed my reply.

Ako:
I'm sorry, I just don't wanna give him hope.

Behati:
Why? Do you have a suitor already? Boyfriend?

I sighed.

Ako:
Yes.

Hindi ko hinintay ang reply niya, dumiretso ako sa elevator kung saan ko namataan
agad si Heidden na naghihintay sa pinto noon. I walked casually towards his side
for the lift, too. Tumutunog ang susing nilalaro niya sa kamay, napalingon siya sa
aking paglapit.

I just snobbed him and looked at the elevator, I met his eyes on the reflection
that made me feel a little conscious. His shoulder length hair was down, it wasn't
so straight but slightly wavy that made it look still manly. He's just wearing a
green shirt, sweatshorts and a pair of slides. Like Chancent's long and firm legs,
hairy.

Kung ikukumpara, mas magaan ang aura ni Chancent at kumportable kaysa kay Heidden
na tila parating may pasan na bagyo. Nakasimangot parati.

Nasa dugo na yata nilang maging intimidating kahit walang ginagawa. Bumukas ang
elevator, pinauna niya naman akong pumasok at sumunod siya. He pressed the same
floor that I didn't have to press mine, kaming dalawa lang ang nasa loob kaya medyo
awkward.

"Are you already together?" he asked frigidly, it sounds mocking.

I raised a brow and lifted my eyes on the reflection.

"Why do you care?"

"It's not a care, it's a question."

"Bakit mo tinatanong?" balik ko sa kaswal na tinig.

"Bakit mo rin tinatanong ang tanong?"

I gasped and rolled my eyes in annoyance.

"We're not yet together. Happy?"

He chuckled gruffly. "'Di pa pala. Why are you clinging like a girlfriend?"

"Ano bang pake mo kung clingy ako sa kanya?" sipat ko.

Sumandal siya sa dingding at nagkibit balikat.

"I'm just curious."

Inirapan ko siya. "You should stop sticking your nose. Wala ka naman dapat pake
kung clingy ako sa kanya, hindi rin iyon nakaka-curious dahil normal lang."

He chuckled gruffly. "Sabi mo, e."

God, he's so annoying! I never really liked his air ever since, nagsisisi ako na
naawa ako sa kanya dahil sa ginawa ni Patch. He deserved it and Patch did a good
decision to break up with him.

Hindi ko na siya pinansin at naunang lumabas nang bumukas ang elevator, may halong
iritasyon ang paglakad ko kaya matunog ang heels ko sa marmol na palapag ng hallway
patungo sa unit ni Chance.

Ang akala ko ay may unit din siya rito pero nakasunod siya hanggang doon, I pressed
the buzzer quickly and thank God that Chancent didn't take long to open the door.

His smile welcomed my sight. "Good morning, ang ganda na naman ng umaga ko..."

I couldn't help but smile back at him.

"Good morning!"

He looks so ready to leave and my heart felt suddenly heavy, it's really alright
for me but I'll surely miss him.

I took a step in and he held on my small back as he noticed Heidden behind me,
tinanguan niya iyon at giniya na ako papasok—iniwang bukas ang pinto para sa
pinsan.

"What time is your flight?" I asked, sitting on the couch.

I glanced at Heidden who went to the fridge, inalis ko rin agad ang tingin sa kanya
para tingnan si Chancent na naupo sa aking tabi.

"Ihahatid na ako ni Heidden ng alas tres mamaya, wanna come?"

Nagdalawang-isip ako roon at hindi nakasagot agad, kung hindi pa siya nagtaas ng
kilay sa akin para linawin iyon. His lips were smiling, the lip ring on it was
really nice and unique.
I nodded. "Okay."

"Did you bring a driver?"

"Nagpahatid lang ako sa ibaba."

"Good, kumain ka na ba?"

"Yup! How 'bout you?"

Sa gilid ng mata ko ay nakita kong prenteng tumungo si Heidden sa balkonahe at

sinara muli ang sliding door pero nakikinita pa rin mula sa loob, he took out a
stick of cigarette from the pack and tapped it on his hand before putting it in
between his lips. He ran his fingers through his hair up and lit his cigarette.

"I'm done. How do you wanna spend the time today?" he asked, tumayo siya at
binabaan ako ng tingin.

I pouted sadly. "Movie? We don't have much time today."

"Uh," he made a sad sound and pinched my cheek. He kissed my forehead quickly.
"Alright, we'll do that. Yosi lang ako saglit."

Napairap na lamang ako, alam ko namang nagsisigarilyo talaga siya at wala akong
masasabi roon. It's his choice, kahit anong sabihin ko na masama iyon ay wala
namang talab.

"Kailan mo ba ititigil ang bisyo na 'yan?"

He chuckled and grinned playfully. "'Pag naging tayo na, iba na magiging bisyo ko."

Kumunot ang noo ko, medyo naiinis. At may balak pa siyang mag-iba ng bisyo?

"Ano na naman?"

Bumaba ang tingin niya sa labi ko at lumabi bago nagtaas-baba ang mga kilay niya sa
malisyosong paraan.

"Of course, your lips."

My heart drubbed as my cheeks heated so bad, halos matawa ako roon pero bumusangot
ako para pigilin ang ngiti.

"Hindi ka na magyoyosi noon?"

He bit his lip ring and licked his lips before inhaling.

"Uhm... sure."

I pouted even more and rolled my eyes.

"I'm planning to tell Mommy about you."

His brows arched up, huminga siya ng malalim at bumalik sa pag-upo.

"When?"

"Pagbalik mo."
He took a deep breath again with a smile on his red lips.

"That's... good, really. Thank you."

I sighed. "Kaso nakakatakot si Mommy, ah."

He laughed. "Is she a monster?"

"Hindi 'yun! I mean, she's so intimidating and strict! I'm sure, you'll be under
her interrogation."

Honestly, I'm really scared but it's time to let her know that I like someone
seriously. That will be the first time that I'm gonna introduce someone to her.

"That's not scary. I'm serious about you, Sileas. And it's just normal because
she's your Mom, she'll make sure that you're in a good place." He caressed my cheek
tenderly.

I smiled softly and nodded.

"Para hindi na rin tayo nagtatago," aniya.

"I hope you won't take everything she'll say seriously. She's sometimes harsh and
straightforward."

"I know what to do. Kung ano mang sasabihin niya, alam kong para sayo lahat iyon.
Don't worry about it." He chuckled. "I got it."

My heart fluttered. Damn, he makes me feel a lot of emotions. I really like him, I
hope Mommy will consider my side.
#UM16
#UM16

We had lunch together, Chancent cooked for it and we watched a movie afterwards.
Heidden was nowhere, he just told Chance to text him if he'd already leave so he
can go back and fetch us.

I was thankful that he left us alone, ang awkward naman kung tatlo kami roon sa
unit ni Chance.

"I'm gonna miss this, pero one week ka lang naman mawawala kaya..." Nagkibit
balikat ako at hinilig ang pisngi sa kanyang braso.

He chuckled. "You won't, I'll call everyday so we can still talk and see each
other. Madali lang 'yon, Sileas. Mabilis lang ang araw."

I smiled and looked up at him, I eventually sat up to face him. I threw little
glares as he stared back with a boyish curl on his lips.

"Hindi ka naman siguro makakahanap ng side chic doon—"

Umiling agad siya at kinurot-kurot ang magkabilang pisngi ko. "I won't, promise."

I inhaled.

"Good!"

I don't know why I'm so bothered about him going back to Manila, nakakaisip ako ng
kung anu-ano pero bahala na. He made me believe in his sincerity, his eyes can't
lie. Marami akong nakikitang nagtetext sa kanyang mga numero lamang pero iniignora
iyon ni Chance.

Paano kung sagutin niya na ang mga iyon kapag walang ako sa paligid?

I shrugged the thought. Hindi dapat ako mag-isip ng ganoon sa kanya at kung oo man,
bahala siya. Basta, oras na maayawan ko ang gawain niya ay wala na siyang tsansa
pang mahihita sa akin.

I knew in the first place that he's a fuck boy, it was a precaution from Patch but
I still gave it a shot to know him more and... here, I like him now.

I blinked and sighed, bakit ba kasi nagagambala ang isip ko ng mga negatibong
bagay!

"Why?" he asked, arching a brow.

"I don't know, I'm just bothered that you might be seeing someone else there."

He laughed. "Of course, I'll be seeing my Mum and Dad."

"Someone else, Chance. Like... girl? Or your ex, or someone who likes you." I
flinched. "I mean, Manila is your home!"

Humalakhak na siya. "You will really be a good lawyer someday! Partida, hindi ka pa
nagl-law school niyan. Your mind was already running around the cases might
happen."

Bumusangot ako at kinurot siya sa braso.

"Totoo nga kasi!"

"Totoo nga rin kasi na hindi ako hahanap ng iba!" natatawang aniya.

"Hindi ka nga hahanap, paano kung sila naman ang humanap sayo?"

"Oh, good lawyer!"

Umirap ako. "I grew up inside a family of lawyers, it's not impossible to be in
that kind of situation where they're twisting every questions and answers just to
prove something!"

"I know. Okay, just wait for my updates. I won't make you feel bad while I'm away."

"Updates can lie and hide something behind."

Tumingala siya at suminghap, sinandal ang batok sa backrest ng sofang inuupuan

namin.

"Tell me what to do, then. Do you want us to video call all through the week? Every
single day and seconds?"

Huminga ako ng malalim, medyo naisip na hindi tama iyon dahil para ko naman siyang
kinukulong. Wala pa namang kami!

"Hindi naman..." tinitigan ko siya roon na nakababa ang mga mata sa akin habang
nakasandal.
His hand wrapped on my waist to pull me closely, napasunod na lang ako. He kissed
my cheek hardly and chuckled.

"Come on, just a little trust. I won't ask for more, Sileas. Hindi kita gagaguhin
kahit kailan." He brushed the tip of his nose on my cheek and jaw. It tingles me.
"Tangina, hindi na nga ako makapaghintay na bumalik agad dito dahil ipapakilala mo
na ako sa Mommy mo."

Humugot ako ng hininga at pinakalma ang pusong nagwawala na sa aking dibdib, his
breathing was caressing my cheek and neck. He softly kissed my cheek again and
nuzzled it.

I giggled with a gasp. "Siguraduhin mo..."

"Mm-hm."

I just let him nuzzle my cheek because it feels good, calming my own air and
heartbeat.

"I'm gonna miss you," he said in a whisper.

I nodded weakly and turned to him, my nose almost touched his. He was staring back
at me, he licked his bottom lip that made me feel so heated. Huminga ako ng malalim
at dinampian siya ng halik sa tungki ng ilong, sa lapit pa lang namin ay para na
akong nahihipnotismo. He has a minty fresh breath, muli ko siyang dinampian ng
halik sa pisngi bago kami nagkatitigan.

He looked so sleepy, I pouted and lifted my hand to caress his lips gently. My
heart was beating so fast, the anticipation is killing me. I won't deny that I want
to kiss him.

"I like you, Chance... don't disappoint me," I mumbled while staring at him.

This is the first time that I like someone more than a friend, in all those moments
of us together—started in Bantayan Island, I really enjoyed talking to him until
now. Sapat na siguro ang ilang buwan na iyon upang makilala ko siya at magustuhan
dahil wala siyang pinakitang pangit sa akin.

Now, I'm worried that he might be a disappointment to me while the time is running
continuously. Alam ko namang hindi maiiwasan ang pagkadismaya dahil walang perpekto
pero sobrang dali ko kasing madismaya, oras na maramdaman ko iyon ay nawawalan ako
ng gana sa isang bagay o tao pa iyan kaya sana... sana lang, Chance...

He gasped a bit as I felt his palm on my nape that pulled me and his tender lips
claimed mine, it was only a smack but I'm already running after my breath—I feel
clouded or more like in clouds. Then he looked into my eyes and nodded before
resuming the kisses.

His lips were so soft that's giving me a warm swirly feeling around my tummy, I
held on his shirt and kissed him back slowly with nothing but willingness. I am
melting so bad, I want more of his kisses.

"I don't wanna leave now..." he chuckled and gave countless pecks on my lips, it
was just like a chance to let me breathe because it didn't end—he suckled my bottom
lip afterwards until it gets numb. "Dito na yata ako maaadik sa susunod na linggo,
Sileas. Huwag natin dadalasan ang ganito."

My face heated when he laughed and I felt his lip ring, agad ko siyang kinurot sa
dibdib at hindi namalayang nanggigil din ako sa paghalik sa kanya. He groaned and
pulled out.

"Ang sakit!" reklamo niya, dinilaan ang ibabang labi at saka kami nagtama ng
tingin.

"I'm sorry, you're so annoying!" I hissed and hit his chest, I was breathing
heavily from our kisses.

Nakakainis, talagang tinutubuan ako ng hiya kapag binabanggit ang tungkol sa

halikan.

He laughed, he straightened up and gave me a peck on the lips again. I gasped.

"It's alright, I'm sorry," he said and wiped my lips before taking his cellphone on
the table. "I'll text Heid now, my flight is coming."

Tumango lang ako, kinagat ang aking ibabang labi sa pag-aalala na baka nasugatan ko
siya. I saw him licking his lips again while texting, my numb lips trembled and I
could still feel the electricity of the kisses he gave me.

Nilapag niya ang cellphone ulit sa lamesa bago ako binalingan, he wrapped his arm
around my waist and kissed the side of my head.

"Thank you."

"For?" I wrinkled my forehead and looked at him, his lips were so red and wet.

He shook his head and smiled. "Wala lang. I just wanna thank you 'cause you make me
happy."

I never felt this appreciated by someone, that was so refreshing to hear and he
makes me happy, too. His words are brand new, even though he knows I'm not perfect—
he still appreciate me and that matters to me. It gives an effect in my emotional
feeling.

Nakangiti ako habang nasa biyahe na, kaming dalawa ang nasa likod habang si Heidden
ang nagmamaneho sa harapan. He was silent the whole time while Chance and I were
having fun and laughing about our topics.

Mabilis ang biyaheng iyon at nakarating kami ng airport nang hindi namamalayan, I
enjoyed the remaining time with Chancent and I couldn't help but feel sad as we bid
our goodbyes to each other.

He was kissing my cheek and forehead then nuzzles my hair as if he'll miss doing
that so bad.

"I'll miss you, I'm gonna call you when I get home."

He hugged me in his one arm while the other was holding his duffel bag. Wala naman
siyang dala roon kundi iyong laptop niya at ilang importanteng dokumento. Nasa
labas lang kami ng sasakyan, si Heidden ay hindi na nag-abalang bumaba dahil hindi
naman na ihahatid si Chance sa loob.

I nodded and pouted. "Okay..."

I feel like a baby around him and I guess, I'll be back to my old self while he's
gone. Back to my old routine, eskuwelahan at bahay. Walang Chancent, walang kulay.
Walang stress calmer, walang magpapasaya.
"You can use my unit if you need a place to go or visit the site when you're
bored," his simple reminders can make me feel better.

I nodded again, ilang saglit niya pa akong tiningnan bago binalingan si Heidden sa
driver's seat. Sinara ni Chance ang pinto sa likuran at hinayaang bukas ang sa
harapan, nagtanguan sila.

"Just drive her back to the building, her driver will wait for her."

I gasped quietly as he opened the door more for me, marahan niyang hinaplos ang
likuran at baywang ko bago ako pinapasok na sa harapan. Bakit kailangan ko pang
lumipat sa tabi ni Heidden? Dapat sa likod na lang ako!

Chance crouched to kiss my forehead for the last shot.

"Bye..." He smiled.

I smiled back and nodded. "Ingat."

He closed the door between us, binuksan ko ang bintana at kumaway na lang sa kanya
habang nagmamaneho na si Heidden paalis. My chest tightened up while leaving him
there, he waved back with a grin and wiggled his brows that made me chuckle and my
heart fluttered, hanggang doon ko na lang siyang nakita dahil lumiko na ang
sasakyan at bumalik ako sa pagkakaupo.

Heidden was the one who closed my window, I took a deep breath and looked in front.
Ang biyahe ay halos isang oras at hindi ko alam kung anong gagawin ko sa oras na
iyon, I don't really wanna interact with him—simply because we don't vibe and we
won't.

I pursed my lips and took out my cell phone, I just opened my gallery to see my
photos with Chance and his candid shots that I captured whenever we're together.

I created an album for him, we had exactly five hundred six pictures. I was smiling
while swiping.

I also got a text from him that made smile bigger.

Chancent:
ߘ

"I'm starving," Heidden said out of the silence while I was typing a reply.

Napalingon ako sa kanya, kunot ang noo.

"E, 'di kumain ka."

He glanced at me, magsasalita pa sana ngunit naunahan na ng tunog ng cell phone

niya. He took it and put it on his ear.

"Yes, Papa. He'll be there in an hour or two." He bit his bottom lip while
listening seriously on the line. "He'll be back in a week. Well, he's helping
around. We're working with the construction and that what makes him busy."

Ngumuso ako habang tinitingnan ang tanawin ng mga kasabay naming sasakyan sa labas
ng bintana. Si Chancent ang pinag-uusapan nila?

"What is she doing there?" He chuckled sarcastically. "Visiting Mama? Whatever,

she's not a part of the family anymore." He sighed as if he got scolded. "I'm just
saying, I'm sorry. But I don't really care about her now. We've broken up...
alright."

Binaba niya ang tawag at nilapag ang cell phone sa kanyang gilid bago pinasadahan
ng mga daliri ang buhok pataas, he looked a bit bothered now.

I inhaled. "Hindi ka ba nahihirapan sa buhok mo?" pinili kong magtanong upang

mapakalma naman ang iritasyon sa mukha niya.

Sumulyap siya, nakakunot ang mga kilay na makapal.

"I mean, mas kumportable ang karamihan sa lalaki na clean cut ang buhok." I
shrugged in defense. "Your hair is beautiful, by the way. And unique. Don't take it
bad, I was just curious."

He breathed.

"I'm comfortable with what I used to have since then, I grew up with a long hair."

"Natry mo na magpagupit ng maikli, gaya kay Chance?" God, this is so awkward but I
want to at least ease the silence because if I don't talk‫آ‬silence will embrace us.
Mas awkward iyon.

He shook his head.

"I am maintaining this."

I chuckled. "Like, are you going to salon for hair treatment and all?"

"No, everytime I needed a trim only."

Oh, that's really unfair for girls who visit salon to maintain our smooth hair and
beautiful. Hetong mga lalaki, kahit hindi inaalagaan ang buhok ay hindi pumapangit.
Iyong kay Chance nga, kahit ilang beses nang ginupitan at kinalbo ay maganda pa rin
ang tubo habang sa mga babae naman ay nagtatampo at pumapangit ang tubo!

Along the way, he found a fast food chain and parked. I didn't expect that we'll go
out to eat, I thought he'd just take a drive-thru but I can't do anything. Bumaba
at sumunod na lang din ako sa kanya, mukhang inabutan talaga siya ng gutom at hindi
nga naman siya makakain kung drive-thru.

What's with the fast food? Mahilig sila ni Chance sa ganito, hindi ko lang
naitanong pa. To be honest, I don't like fast food because I was used to eat in
fancy restaurants and I'm thankful that everytime Chance and I would eat out—he was
bringing me to a restaurant. Minsan lang niya akong pinapakain sa fast food.
Although, hindi naman ako nagrereklamo.

Dumiretso siya sa counter, hindi ko sinundan at naupo na lang ako sa bakanteng

puwesto sa loob. I settled on a four seater table and looked at Heidden on the
counter, he's now talking to the cashier who looked so awed by him.

I shrugged it and opened my cell phone, I stalked Chancent's Instagram and found
that he posted a story. It was me on the couch, busy with his MacBook—I remember
that moment when I was looking at their family picture.

My heart drubbed, wala namang nakasulat doon na kahit ano pero nakakatuwa sa
pakiramdam. I just reacted on it.

Ilang minuto nang tumungo si Heidden sa lamesang napili ko, nilapag niya ang tray
na may mga pagkain. This is what I don't like in fast food, customers need to go to
the counter and order while in fancy restaurants—you are being served without a
problem and delay.

"Bakit ang hilig niyo pala kumain sa fast food chains?" tanong ko sa gitna ng aming
pagkain.

He got me a pair of spaghetti, burger and coke. He actually ordered some pairs so I
could choose and I chose these. Hindi ako masyadong gutom kaya hindi ko kailangan
ng rice, isa pa na kumain kami ni Chancent kanina. Sinamahan ko lang talaga siyang
kumain dahil ang pangit naman tingnan kung nakaupo lang ako at papanoorin siya.

Sumulyap siya. "Because it's affordable and more delicious than expensive
restaurant."

I nodded and laughed a bit.

"Kapag nakikipagdate ka, sa fast food din?"

I won't believe if he says yes, si Patch dini-date sa fast food chain? Well, noong
unang uminom kami ay dinala nila kami sa bulaluhan na sa gilid lang ng kalsada at
mukhang paborito ni Patch pero hindi naman siguro madalas doon at hindi iyon date.
Of course, Patch would choose an expensive restaurant to date, it's more romantic.

His brows furrowed. "Why? You don't like fast food? You sound so disgusted."

I shrugged. "I'm not really a fan of fast food. I don't wanna date in a fast food.
It's cheap."

Huminga siya ng malalim at sumandal sa backrest ng inuupuan, sumimsim sa kanyang

soft drinks habang nakatitig sa akin.

Medyo nahiya ako, minsan ko na ring nakita ang ganyang tingin ni Chance sa akin
dahil doon sa ginawa ko sa driver ko.

"Fast food isn't bad, eating here is more practical. Expensive or cheap food are
all the same that can full the hungry stomachs," he said seriously. "Just be
thankful that you're eating good food, others aren't lucky that they need to beg
around."

I shrugged again, wiping my lips with tissue. "People are different. Those unlucky
ones are lazy to work for a living, reason why they're beggars. They're lack of
strategy to have a say in life."

I believe in my opinion, some people are just waiting for something to arrive.

He smirked and nodded.

"Oo, pero hindi mo puwedeng sabihin lagi 'yan dahil hindi naman lahat napagbibigyan
sa bansa at gobyernong mayroon tayo. Sa tingin mo ba, iyang mga walang trabaho,
hindi naghahanap ng paraan para magkaroon?" aniya. "Of course, they want to do
something but they're being rejected because we're living in a selfish country that
already created slots to those educated people only."

My cheeks heated, he got a point but seriously? We were talking about how I grew
up!

"I get your point, Heidden! But we're talking about how my family raised me, bakit
nadadamay ang bansa at gobyerno rito? I don't care about the poor people, that's
their fate!"

"...and selfish people," he added with a chuckle. "I'm just giving you some ideas
how life works differently around you. Don't take it so bad, Pallavi. Ang gusto ko
lang ipaliwanag, makuntento ka kung anong nasa harapan mo."

Napakurap-kurap ako. Nasa harapan ko? Siya? What the hell, Sileas? Why are you
thinking that way! You are talking about things! Things! Not a person!

I gasped and avoided his eyes, binaba ko ang tingin sa pasta.

"I got it!" medyo inis kong sinabi. "You don't need to educate me about it, we
believe in different opinions."

He just sighed heavily and continued eating, hindi ko naman naituloy ang pagkain
hanggang sa matapos siya. I was so embarrassed and ashamed, I don't know why but I
feel bad after the talk. He made me feel like I was raised wrongly, that my
opinions are trash and I don't like being corrected.

Tahimik ako sa biyahe hanggang sa pagbaba ko sa building, I just thanked him

quietly. Mabuti na lang at naroon na ang driver ko, naghihintay sa akin. I went
home with guilt and undeniable shame.

"Do you sometimes get disappointed with me?" I asked Chancent, the same night he
called me.

He looked at me in the screen, his eyes slowly softened.

"Don't lie to me, do I have a disappointing opinion or attitude?" I asked lowly and
seriously because if I do, that's too shameful to hear from him.

He swallowed a bit and sighed.

"Yes, few times."

My lips trembled, kumurap-kurap ako at huminga ng malalim. I feel sad and hurt,
this is me, anyway.

"Like when?"

He sighed again. "When you believed that your driver wasn't worth to have a
chance."

I gasped in sadness and dismay.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"Because I know that you're gonna improve and grow as a person. People share
different opinions and decisions, anyway." He shrugs.

Damn, I don't know what to say. I feel bad and comforted at the same time, it's
giving me another realization that a bad opinion can be corrected in a comforting
way where you'll realize the wrongs without feeling like villain.
#UM17
#UM17

"I really like him." I sighed and pouted. "I just don't know how to start telling
it to Mommy."
"Just tell it straightly! There's nothing wrong to have a suitor, I'm sure Tita
Gabbana will understand you!" si Behati, sumimsim sa kanyang mango shake.

"Hindi, e. Sasabihin ko pero saan ako mag-uumpisa? Paano?"

Huminga siya ng malalim. "Teka lang, patingin nga niyang manliligaw mo!"

I let her see Chancent's album in my cell phone and I watched her while swiping the
pictures—she was so awed by his pictures.

"Seriously? Hala, ang good looking naman nito! Model ba siya? Anong trabaho?
Mukhang mayaman, oh..." she mumbled in awe.

"No, he's the running CEO of their company." I sighed.

Nalaglag ang panga niya.

"Oh, God!" she gasped. "How could you be so stupid to think that your Mommy won't
like him as your suitor? Baka nga ipakasal ka agad sa kanya kapag nakilala niya
'to! Come on, he has a name and he's a C-E-fucking-O! Your Mom was strict because
you were surrounded by school boys that doesn't have their own money yet!"

I shrugged. Okay, she doesn't really know Gabbana Miramontes-Placido. Hindi niya
alam kung paano gumagana ang utak at mga desisyon ni Mommy para sa akin, I know
that Chance is a good catch but...

"Well, he's five years older than me. You think she'll like that gap?"

Mommy was even older than Papa, one of the reasons why they didn't vibe. I don't
know what would she think about Chancent. It's been three days, malapit na bumalik
si Chance sa Davao at hindi pa rin ako nakakatyempo na makausap si Mommy tungkol sa
kanya.

Umuurong ang dila ko, nababahag ang buntot ko.

"So? Why does it matter? Mas maganda nga iyang mga older men dahil sila iyong may
nagagawa na sa buhay, may sariling pera at nagtatrabaho. 'Tsaka hello, ang guwapo
at hot nito sobra." Kumunot ang noo niya. "Where and how did you meet? I need a man
like this, sawang-sawa na ako mag-aral. Baka kapag nagkaboyfriend ako ng ganito,
puwede na akong magbuhay reyna at papakasalan ko na."

I laughed a bit and shook my head, inabala niya ang sarili sa pagtingin ng pictures
ni Chancent. She even asked his social media accounts and that wasn't a big deal to
me, I know she wouldn't message him intentionally—she'll just stalk.

My days went better, Chancent was updating me every little detail of his
whereabouts. He usually stays at home and he was attending some meetings with their
boards. I was happy that he never made me feel left behind, I was never outdated
about him.

"I'm not really a jealous man, Sileas." He shook his head slightly. "If I don't see
anything wrong and suspicious, then, I'll be fine with your other activities or guy
friends."

"Ah, ganyan ka maging boyfriend?" may hagikgik kong tanong.

"Sometimes." He laughed.

I gasped. "Sometimes? Then, how are you as a boyfriend most of the time? Madalas ka
bang magselos or ano?"

"No, I don't put malice in everything my partner does behind my back because it's a
choice. I don't get jealous that much because for me, jealousy is immaturity." 

Medyo dismayado ako sa paniniwala niyang iyon, paano naging immaturity iyon? It's
normal!

"Good that you're not a clingy one."

Iyon lang ang nasabi ko kahit ang dami kong nalalaman sa kanya, does being jealous
is really a sign of immaturity? Hindi naman siguro masamang magselos kasi ang selos
ay pakiramdam na hindi napipigilan. How I wish to have an unbothered mind that
wouldn't put anything to any situation like other people.

He puckered his lips. "Hmm, I didn't say I wasn't clingy. Hindi lang ako seloso."

"So you cling like a monkey, too?" I was chuckling.

"It's in the blood but you can tell me if you're uncomfortable, I'll loosen up." He
chuckled and wrinkled his forehead. "Why are we in this topic? Are you planning to
be my girlfriend now?"

I rolled my eyes and laughed.

"You wish! I need to introduce you as a suitor first before that, because Mommy
will surely judge our process negatively!"

"Your Mom isn't a lawyer for nothing, huh."

I sighed. "It's hard to be surrounded by lawyers, really. Their minds are working
incredibly, turning tables and such. It's so tiring."

I grew up with them and my mind was tinted by how they raised me, these past days I
came to realize that my perception was becoming cruel and selfish. Parati kong
sinasabi na inis ako sa kaugalian at tradisyon ng pamilyang kinabibilangan ko pero
hindi ko napapansin na katulad din pala nila ako, na nasa dugo ko rin kung ano sila
at kung paano tumingin sa mas mababang pamumuhay ng tao.

We talked for hour before I got a knock from our housemaid to call me for dinner
and I went to the usual scenario in the dining table, quiet and formal. Mommy asked
about us, Gabanni and Gunther's work and my studies and other activities. I
answered it casually that my subjects are going well.

"All my subjects are fine, Mommy. There's nothing to worry about my studies." I
smiled.

She just nodded.

"There's nothing to worry about your studies but how about your activities outside
the university?" Gabanni smirked as she sipped on her glass of juice.

My forehead wrinkled, I didn't wanna react but it really caught my nerves.

"I heard from your driver that you were going out with a man for the last weeks."
She looked at me critically. "Who are you visiting in the condo alone?"

My eyes widened, words couldn't find my voice as my heart started thumping

fearfully.
"G-Gabanni!" I gasped, I don't know where to look at but I noticed Mommy's confused
expression.

"That's how cheap you are, huh? Ikaw ang pumupunta sa condo ng lalaki?" she
followed up.

My heart hurt, I feel so insulted because I'm clean!

"Gabanni!" Gunther interfered irritably. "Can you stop? You're talking to our
sister!"

"You can't stop me, she needs to hear that because she's putting a dirt in this
family!"

"Shut up and let her explain!"

Kabadong-kabado ako pero kailangan kong kumalma para maging kalmado rin ang isip ko
sa mga sasabihin. Wala si Daddy ngayon kaya wala akong magiging kakampi.

"Sileas Pallavi," Mommy's stern voice was enough to make me look at her.

I looked at her with trembling fear in my eyes, I wanted to cry. "M-Mommy, that's
not it... we're not doing anything bad and wrong. We were just hanging out."

Gabanni gasped in disgust. Mommy's teeth gritted and I could sense her rage.

"Who is this man?"

Umiling ako. "Mommy—"

"Name, Sileas."

"C-Chancent Estrevillo." I straightened up and took a deep breath. "Mommy, I was

about to tell you about him. He's going back next week, ipapakilala ko po siya sa
inyo."

"You seriously have the guts? You are already hanging out with that man in his
condo without even telling me! How can you be so sure that I'll approve your cheap
acts!?"

"Mommy!" I begged. "Please, stop thinking so bad of me! Wala naman po kaming
ginagawang masama! He's my suitor and he's not that kind of man!"

"Your suitor?" her voice thundered with a hint of shock. "That man is also cheap,
then! Is he even a man, Sileas? He doesn't even have a face to stand for your
family's permission? Niligawan ka na walang pagpayag mula sa pamilya mo? Tama ba
iyon? Ganoon ka kadali?"

My eyes watered in pain, my heart was twisting.

"You don't know him! He came from a decent family, too, Mommy! I'm the one who
doesn't have the guts because I was scared of what you might react and here it is,
you are badly judging me as if I created a crime! How could I have the confidence
to tell you about him? I know all of you here, maybe it was just right that I hid
it! Mas masaya pang magtago na lang sa inyo!" I stood up bravely and ran out of the
dining area even when her voice was calling my name.

I just covered my ears while running upstairs, umiiyak akong umakyat sa aking
silid.

I locked the door and screamed my pain out, I was so blinded by the stabs of their
painful words. Ang sakit sa tainga at nakakabinging umuulit iyon sa pandinig ko,
how could they say those words to me without conscience? Am I not a family member?
Am I not her sister and her daughter? And some realization hit me that maybe, they
don't love me enough to shield me from pain. Sila nga mismo ang nananakit sa akin.

Bakit pa ako nagtataka roon? I expected this! In this family, you should expect the
worst!

Kinabukasan ay nagpapasalamat ako na walang pasok, my eyes were swollen and I'm
sure that I'd be in my classmates' gossips if ever. Kapag anak mayaman ka kasi,
akala nila wala kang problema at parati lang masaya sa buhay kaya kapag nahalata
nilang umiyak ka—naghihirap na.

"Tss..." I sighed and turned my cell phone off, I have no energy to answer
Chancent's call.

Nakaabang na lang ako ngayon kung kailan ipapatawag ni Mommy at mag-uumpisa na

siyang kunin ang gadgets ko, I already expected that I'm grounded.

I wasn't wrong when someone knocked on the door, telling that I was called into the
office.

Hindi na ako nagdalawang-isip, dala ang aking cell phone, MacBook at iPad na walang
buhay ay tumungo ako sa office ni Mommy. I felt the coldest day of my life as I
went in, I equaled her coldness and formality. She was sitting on her swivel chair
with nothing but blank eyes, I walked in front of her table and without her words—I
put my gadgets on the table.

"Good morning," I greeted formally. Takot man ay wala iyong ganang ipakita sa
kanya.

Her lips pursed as she glanced at my gadgets, she motioned me to sit and I did.

"I want to know that man you're seeing for these past months," she said icily. My
forehead crumpled. "This isn't an approval."

Agad nawala ang antisipasyon ko sa una niyang sinabi at namatay, I took a deep
breath.

"Bakit pa, Mommy? You see, I surrendered my gadgets. Wala na kaming communication."

"Tell him to be here tonight, do what I said," matigas niyang sinabi.

I forced not to roll my eyes, this is sickening!

"He's not in Davao, he can't be here tonight."

Nagtaas siya ng kilay, ilang sandali pang nanatili ang matigas niyang tingin sa
akin na hindi ako nagpatinag bago siya may pinindot sa teleponong nasa lamesa.

I was expecting her to call Lola, I know her well! Isusumbong niya ako.

I gulped down, neverminding my fear. Nandito na ako, kailangan kong magpakatibay

dahil hindi talaga ako natuwa sa lahat ng sinabi nila ni Gabanni sa akin kagabi.
Hanggang ngayon, mahapdi pa rin.
I'm not cheap, it was my way to hide what I don't wanna stop by them because I know
how manipulative they are.

"Hi, good morning. This is Mr. Chancent Estrevillo's secretary, do you have an
appointment with him?"

My eyes widened as my heart thumped nervously. Her eyes were on me, almost glaring.

"This is Gabbana Miramontes-Placido, we don't have an appointment but we have a

very very important thing to talk about."

I wanted to shout so bad, naiiyak na agad ako sa kahihiyan. Why does she need to do
this? Binigay ko na ang gadgets ko! Hindi na kami makakapag-usap ni Chancent!

"Mrs. Placido..." the secretary phonated before the line went into another line.

"Good morning, Mrs. Gabanna Placido," Chancent's polite and formal voice greeted.

Mommy didn't talk and I just closed my eyes tight, that was rude.

I heard Chancent's low sigh.

"I already booked a flight back to Davao today, I know my fault as a man and I hope
we can talk about this personally to explain everything. I'm so sorry for putting
Sileas in this kind of situation."

No! What the hell? That wasn't his fault!

"Sure you are, I want to have a formal talk with you over a dinner tonight," Mommy
demanded with a hind of irritation.

"Yes, Ma'am. I'll be there."

"I confiscated my daughter's gadgets so you cannot talk, there's no another day for
this. You made her look so easy."

Namilog ang mga mata ko, maluha-luha agad. Chancent was about to defend but Mommy
already ended the call, I hate her for being this way harsh and rude.

I quickly wiped my tears and walked out of the office, nahihiya na ako sa sarili
ko.

Malamang ay iyon din ang maiisip ni Chancent sa akin, ako naman kasi ang nagpumilit
na itago ang lahat at magpunta sa condo niya. His intention was serious and he even
suggested me to introduce him first for formalities but I was scared, he understood
where I was coming from and didn't force me to do that.

And now, he's the one to blame?! How shameful!

I was crying the whole day, nakatulugan ko na lang ang pag-iyak. I didn't even get
up to eat lunch, I don't feel hungry at all. Pain takes over my system, sa hapon ay
inabala ko ang sarili sa panonood ng serye upang kahit papaano ay mabawasan ang
sama ng nararamdaman ko.

"Miss Pallavi..."

I frowned, istorbo na naman. Tumayo ako para pagbuksan iyon.

"What?" I asked lazily with annoyance.

Luminga siya sa magkabilang pasilyo bago kinuha sa bulsa ng kanyang uniporme ang
maliit na cell phone at inabot sa akin.

"Cell phone po ni Roland iyan, iabot ko raw sa'yo."

Kumunot ang noo ko, cell phone ni Roland? Gusto kong matawa, ano ito? Suhol dahil
sa pagrereport niya kay Gabanni?

Narinig namin ang pagbukas ng pinto sa hindi kalayuan kaya takot siyang humagos
paalis ng pasilyo. I was confused as hell, I closed the door while looking at the
very old kind of cell phone with mini screen and keypad under it.

I pressed a button and it brightened up, hindi naman ako tanga kaya naintindihan ko
rin kung paano gamitin.

May mga text doon.

Unregistered Number:
This is Heidden.

Heidden? Close sila ni Mang Roland?

Unregistered Number:
I'm gonna pass the number to Chance. Text back if you're already holding the
cellphone.

Unregistered Number:
Why are you taking so long to reply? Just a yes or no.

Ako:
00

Iyon ang tangi kong nasabi dahil hindi ako sanay sa pagpindot ng keypad nito, zero-
zero lang ang madaling kapain.

Unregistered Number:
Okay, I'll give the number to Chance now.

Mas nangunot ang noo ko, anong kalokohan 'to?

I waited for minutes before the cell phone vibrated in my palm, I quickly answered
it with excitement.

"Sileas..."

"Chance!" I gasped, almost crying.

He sighed heavily. "I'm sorry, are you alright?"

"I'm f-fine, I couldn't reply and answer your call because Mommy confiscated my
cellphone. This is so frustrating, I wanna leave this house."

I feel so hopeless. I wanna contact Papa, sa kanya na lang ako. Ayaw ko na rito,
every angle of my life here has a cage. Ang hirap-hirap.

Tears rolled down my cheeks, I sobbed.

"Everything will be alright, Sileas. I'm gonna talk to your Mom to make things
right, okay?" he sighed. "Huwag ka na umiyak, pasakay na ako ng eroplano. I just
wanted to know if you're okay."

I sobbed and wiped my rolling tears.

"Roland reported our dates to my sister. I hate him, too."

"He's just doing his job, don't drag him into this," he said certainly. "We're both
in this, we're at fault. We shouldn't pull anyone else just to have someone to
blame."

I continued wiping my tears, I couldn't nod nor talk. Ang sama-sama ng loob ko sa
lahat ng nangyari, naiinis ako sa paligid ko.

"I'm gonna hang up now."

"O-Okay... ingat."

He inhaled. "I'll see you later."

I ended the call with my heavy heart, it made me cry again. Nakakahiya sa kanya,
imbes na sa susunod na araw pa ang balik niya ay napilitang bumiyahe ngayon dahil
sa pangyayari.

The cell phone vibrated again, it's Heidden.

Unregistered Number:
Are you done? Roland needs to text his wife, give it back now.

Napabusangot ako, kung kaya ko lang magtext dito ay kanina ko pa siya sinupalpal
kaso mahirap kaya iyon na lang ang ginawa ko. I went down to give it to Neli again
secretly, bumalik din ako sa silid pagkabigay noon.

Chancent will be here for dinner, kinakabahan ako sa maaring mangyari lalo pa sa
mga sasabihin ni Mommy.

I went into the bathroom to shower, I spent my time in the bathtub and fell asleep
there for hours. It was a bit relaxing, it freshened up my body and mind. It took
me an hour to fix myself, I just wore a gray jumpsuit and blow dried my hair. Hindi
ko naitago ang pamumugto ng mga mata.

I was called by our maid when the dinner table is ready, I didn't expect that
Chancent was already there with Daddy, Mommy and my siblings.

Bahagyang namilog ang mga mata ko habang nakatingin kay Chance at ang kalabog ng
dibdib ko sa kaba ay lalong tumindi sa bawat hakbang. Mommy motioned me the sit
beside Gabanni, si Gunther at Chance ang nasa kabila habang nasa magkabilang
kabisera si Mommy at Daddy.

The dinner started quietly, I guess Chancent already introduced himself earlier
before I went down. Although, I don't know what time did he arrive here. I glanced
at Chancent, he looked so decent tonight in his white button down undershirt, a
black and dark green checkered vest and black slacks. Our eyes suddenly met when he
turned, I blinked and sighed quietly—he raised a brow at me.

"You have a project here in Davao, right?" Gunther broke the silence.

Chance nodded. "Yes. It's a condotel project."

I feel proud of him. I glanced at Mommy who was busy with her food but obviously
listening and watching Chancent.

"Partners?" Daddy's turn to ask.

"We didn't get partners in this since it's our first project here in Davao."

"Oh, that's great!" Gabanni interfered formally. "Are you holding a good
construction o tipid gaya sa iba?"

Damn it! Why does she sound so insulting!

Chancent's lips curled, ngayon ko lang napansin na wala ang kanyang lip ring sa
gabing ito.

"We don't do that kind of construction, we're spending for the best materials to
use. Hindi namin kailangan magtipid," pormal niyang saad.

Nagtaas ng kilay si Gabanni.

"What kinds of hotels are you managing? I never heard that name yet, what is it
again? Estrevillo?"

Chancent chuckled. "We keep it flat-lined and low. Most of the five star hotels
here and outside the country are being handled by Estrevillos using different
names."

My lips parted, I didn't know they were using different names to keep them low-
profiled! Nagpatuloy ang pag-uusap nila tungkol sa business na pinakikinggan ko
lang. Mommy was calm the whole time and Daddy was polite.

"You are not some simple businessman in the field. Why did you choose a young lady
to get?" Gabanni chuckled with sarcasm. "I guess, you didn't expect that she came
from a known family, too? Siguro akala mo, puchu-puchu lang siyang estudyante na
madaling makuha at walang magiging problema."

"Gabanni," saway ni Daddy at Gunther.

Chance looked at her coldly but his lips were having a playful smirk.

"Well, I knew her as Sileas Villareal. I know that she came from a decent family,
too, but family names don't really scare me. And I didn't choose her because she
was never in a multiple choice, it just happened that she's Sileas herself that
made me want her without the surnames. Wala akong pake sa lahat, basta si Sileas
siya."

My mouth dropped as Gabanni's face flushed for some reason.

"I'm here tonight to clear everything that my intention to Sileas is serious, it

wasn't my intention to start in a wrong way with her but I wanted her to be ready.
I wanted her to tell it to you when she's all ready because it was normal to feel
scared at first."

I smiled at him, I was so touched. I looked at Mommy, she didn't react but her eyes
were talking softly now.

"You're right, I know that Sileas would really feel that and will learn how to hide
what makes her happy. I understand the situation," Daddy said. "I'm sorry for that,
I may not be her real father but I'm giving you my approval."
Mommy unexpectedly didn't interfere.

"I already had a talk with you earlier," she said to Chancent. "You heard the
rules, Chancent Estrevillo. If you want to date, bring her to formal places. If you
wanna meet, here at home—not in your condo. Getting permission is not a bad thing."

That made me gasp, my heart already melted at that.

Finally! We don't need to hide anymore!

Chancent's lips curled up as he nodded casually, his eyes were glimmering in

happiness and triumph.

"Thank you so much, Mrs. and Mr. Placido," he said formally then glanced at me with
a smile.

I took a deep breath and smiled back widely, he puckered his lips to hide his joy.
This is so unexpected!
#UM18
#UM18

Simula nang payagan ni Mommy si Chancent ay tinuloy niya ang panliligaw sa akin at
nakakabisita siya sa bahay nang walang pag-aalinlangan. He was so welcomed at home
that I got used to see him every after class and his working hours every day.
Madalas rin naman siyang magtrabaho at tumulong sa site kaya minsan ay ako ang
bumibisita.

Mommy was always reminding me my priority before everything and she wouldn't draw a
line between us. Ginawa ko iyong motibasyon sa lahat, nag-aaral akong mabuti para
hindi niya mapuna ang ibang aktibidad sa buhay ko.

It became our routine for the whole seven months and counting. Naudlot ang
pagkagusto kong sagutin na siya bago pa ipakilala noon dahil sa nangyari kaya mas
humaba ang panliligaw niya sa bahay at sa aking pamilya. Although, we already act
like a couple behind their line of vision. I was enjoying the life so much with him
around, those were the best months of my year because I shared it with him.

I could still remember when I told Papa about it. Of course, it was the next
morning after our first dinner with Chancent. Nagvideo call ako sa kanya.

"Good morning, Papa!"

He was in the office. Usually, nahihiya ako kapag natatawagan ko siyang nasa
opisina dahil baka nakakaistorbo ako pero ngayon ay iba.

He chuckled. "You seem so cheerful today, what's up with my big baby?"

Tiningnan ko si Chancent na tahimik sa tabi ko at nakasandal ang batok sa sofa pero

nakababa ang titig sa akin. He knows my plan to tell everything to Papa, he also
suggested it so we'd be clear to anyone important to me. Iyon lang, hindi sa
personal dahil may pasok pa rin ako sa school at hindi papayagan ni Mommy sumadya
sa Manila.

"Where are you? Manila or Laguna?" I asked, giggling.

Kunot man ang noo ay hindi ako pinupuna.

"Laguna, today. Why?" he shifted the cam in front of his office table and I saw
Archelaus in three piece suit there who was busy reading a document.

Umangat ang tingin niya at kumaway lang, ngumuso ako nang ibalik ni Papa sa kanya
ang baling ng laptop at bumungisngis sa akin.

"So, what's with the cheerful day?"

I took a very deep breath.

"Someone wants to meet you, we can't really go there because it's still school days
so..."

Papa arched a brow.

"I can sense something." He straightened up on his swivel chair and loosened his
tie as if he's suddenly bothered by the air. "Did your Mom arrange you to a
marriage?"

I almost rolled my eyes but I ended up laughing, Chancent beside me was silently
chuckling. His arm wrapped around my waist, I felt tender.

"Hindi, Papa! Grabe ka naman!"

"Well, they are freaks for rich to rich arranged marriage. I'm sweating, I don't
want you to suffer that kind of marriage but why do you look happy? You think, I'll
be happy with that?"

Namimilog ang mga mata ko, mabuti na lang at walang tao sa tanggapan namin ngayon
dahil lahat ay nasa trabaho at tanging mga kasambahay ang kasama na abala rin sa
kani-kanilang gawain kaya kami lang ni Chancent ang nasa sala sa hapong iyon. He
fetched me from school.

"Papa, hindi nga iyon!" tawa ko. "Don't be too nervous, I won't marry yet! I just
want you to meet this..." I pulled Chancent's arm so he could be on the sight in
front of my MacBook.

Papa's brows furrowed, lips parted while looking at us.

"Good morning, Mr. Villareal," Chancent started with a polite and casual greet. "I
am Chancent of Estrevillo clan."

Papa gasped, he calmed down. "I know this kind of scenario, also I already know
Estrevillos including you and Patch' ex boyfriend. We won't make this long but I
want you to tell me your intentions and plans."

I was pouting while listening. Unlike Mommy, Papa's more approachable and
respectful that I wasn't worried to introduce him.

Chancent nodded.

"I am seriously pursuing your daughter, Sir. If we're talking about intentions, I
hope you won't get mad but I want to ask your approval for us so we can continue
this in a correct way."

Papa's lips pursed, sumandal siya sa swivel chair at tumango-tango habang puno ang
atensyon sa amin.

"And your plans?" he demanded. "You are her possible soon to be boyfriend, if you
have no plan to take her to church when your relationship goes further—"
"Papa, ang advance naman niyan! Hindi pa nga kami, bakit nasa church na agad ang
usapan?" agap ko.

This is too embarrassing but it makes me laugh inside, Papa's questions were so
epic.

Papa smiled. "I just wanna know how serious this man is, you are so precious to me,
Sileas. I want to make sure that you're in good hands."

I nodded understandingly, I held Chancent's hand on my waist. Mabuti na lang at

hindi naman kita iyon sa camera kaya ayos lang. He gently intertwined our fingers,
I squeezed his huge hand to prevent my coming giggles.

"Of course, Sir. Na kay Sileas po iyon kung "oo" ang sagot niya kapag nagpropose
ako balang araw." Chance chuckled and glanced at me. "For now, I just want us to
grow together in our soon relationship if I get lucky. I don't really wanna be
confident about this because I know that there's a lot of boys dreaming for her,
too. She might like and see someone better than me, everything will be in Sileas'
decision after all."

I gasped, my lips trembled. Hindi ko mapigilang lingunin siya dahil doon, I

suddenly felt a pang of sadness in my chest. Bakit ba ganito parati ang reasoning
niya? Lahat ba talaga ay kailangang nasa akin, ang mga desisyon sa ganitong bagay?

That day, he got Papa's approval and it added more happiness to me. Ewan ko, basta
ang saya ng buhay simula nang maipakilala ko si Chancent at mapapayag niya ang
pamilya ko. It was really unexpected because Mommy was never a fan of boys around
me but maybe, she saw something in Chancent that made her feel comfortable that I'd
be with a nice man.

"Kailan mo ba ako tatanungin?" tanong ko habang naglalakad kami papunta sa kanyang

sasakyan, kakalabas ko lang ng school at sinundo niya ako.

I don't know what's taking him so long to ask me to be his girlfriend, umabot pa
kami ng halos isang taon. He never asked me that and yet we were kissing and
cuddling already! Minsan nahihiya na lang ako sa sarili kaya iniiwasan ko siya,
medyo dumalang nga ang pakikipagkita ko sa isang linggo at kunwari ay busy na lang
ako sa pag-aaral na naiintindihan naman niya kaya nakakafrustrate na hindi niya
mafigure-out ang mga tagong hiya ko.

His forehead creased, he doesn't really hold me in public places because he's kinda
hesitant that Mommy would see us.

I sighed and shrugged. "You've been courting me for almost eleven months now
including those first months. Ang tagal mo namang manligaw."

To be honest, it's been my frustration these past months aside from school because
I already wanted him to be my boyfriend so we could hold hands publicly. Besides,
my feelings for him was growing deeper and deeper that makes me want to have our
label. I want us to be official. Ang sarap sa pakiramdam ng ilang buwan na iyon
dahil doon ko napatunayan na ang pakiramdam ay lumalalim habang tumatagal at iyon
ang eksaktong pinadarama niya sa akin.

He gasped in disbelief, his eyes were wide while looking at me—almost laughing.

"Why are you telling me that? Ako ang nanliligaw sayo, ikaw ang sasagot sa akin."

"Oo nga! Paano kita sasagutin, hindi ka naman nagtatanong? Ugh, so frustrating!"
His lips sided with a chuckle, huminga siya ng malalim at tumingin sa aming
paligid. There's a lot of going home students around the area, tiningnan ko ang mga
nalapatan niya ng tingin at sinuri kung may babae ba sa mga iyon.

Hinampas ko siya sa dibdib dahil kalat nga ang mga babaeng kaeskwela ko, I walked
past him irritably. Nakakainis, nag-uusap kami ng tugkol sa amin tapos titingin sa
ibang babae! Tama ba iyon?

"Sileas, wait!" he called and pulled my arm that made me turn around.

I glared at him with heavy heart but when he kneeled down and lifted a ring, my
heart turned rebellious. My eyes widened, most of the students stopped walking to
watch us. Suminghap ako at tumingin sa kanya, he was grinning like a handsome evil
in a black button down shirt and slacks.

"Sileas Pallavi, will you be my girlfriend?"

My face and eyes were heating at the same moment that feels like a dream, we were
catching too much attention and maybe they thought that this was a wedding proposal
but this is just one of Chancent's unique ways to make me feel so extra special!

He was looking and waiting for my answer, silaw sa liwanag ng kalangitan at ang mga
mata niya ay mistulang bituin sa akin. I could feel the painful happiness in chest,
I gasped again and nodded with a trembling smile.

"Y-Yes, Chancent."

He grinned even more and stood up to put the ring on my finger, I don't know why I
was so emotional. I was tearing up, he held my hand and kissed my the ring he put
there then kissed my cheek.

"Let's get out of here," he whispered with a chuckle as he held my hand and pulled
me out of the crowd.

Saka na lang ako nakaramdam ng hiya nang makita kong nagkukumpulan sa amin ang mga
tao, pumapalakpak at tumitili pa ang iba habang kumukuha ng litrato at video.

Hiya man ako ay mas ramdam ko ang katuwaan doon, I slid into his car with smile on
my lips. Tiningnan ko ang singsing sa aking palasingsingan, it was a gold rounded
ring with letters of his sculpted name; chancent. It was really fit around my
finger that made my heart flutter more. He really knows every small details of me.

Pagkapasok niya pa lang sa driver's seat ay agad ko siyang hinila para halikan, I'm
so fucking happy and I don't know how to thank him enough for making me feel
butterflies around, lightening my dark hours, cheering my sad moments and for
screaming his name with my heartbeat.

He kissed me back and I felt him smile against my lips, he caressed my small back
gently.

I stopped. "Thank you so much, Chancent!" and continued kissing him even
breathless.

"Always welcome, baby," he smiled in between my kisses again and suckled my bottom
lip.

"You're my boyfriend now," I stated as if he didn't hear my answer a while back.

He nodded with a usual evil green that still genuine to me.

"We'll get through everything together, alright?"

I nodded again, lips were trembling while staring at this precious man.

He gave a peck on my lips and forehead again.

"Don't cry, I hate that."

"Bawal ba maiyak sa tuwa?"

He pursed his lips, looks thinking. "Hmm, puwede naman."

Natawa ako at hinalikan siya sa pisngi.

I was teary eyed, not only because of what happened but because I couldn't tell how
much he means to me. I don't know, I didn't notice. It was just one day, I woke up
with unexplainable feeling. I couldn't get to understand myself every night
thinking how he became my heart that I want to take care of... and now that he gave
me another fairytale to remember, I realized one thing; he's my every little thing.

This is the man I wished for, the man who created a concept of fairytale in my
reality and the man who made a home in my heart.

I told Mommy about what happened and that I already gave the label to Chance, we
were in the middle of our dinner when she asked about me.

"We're official," I said with a hint of joy because I need to act formal even how
much I wanted to tell it cheerfully.

She was watching and listening to me casually while I was smiling, telling about
how Chance got my yes. Nakikinig din ang mga kapatid ko at si Daddy na mukhang
masaya para sa akin.

I lifted my hand to let them see my ring, I smiled.

"He asked me to be his girlfriend with this ring, I really loved it. He makes me
extra special."

"You mean, spoiling you with with those things and scenarios?" si Gabanni,
sarkastiko.

My smile faltered, I sighed quietly. This isn't spoiling, I was just telling how
much it made me happy. Pero napagsabihan na ako ni Chance tungkol dito, hindi ko na
lang papansinin para hindi humaba pa.

However, she was so wrong, because Chancent's way to introduce me the place with
him was becoming lower. At first, I thought it's because I wasn't worth into
expensive dates but leisurely, I came to realize that he's making me experience the
simple things around. Dumating din sa isip ko na hindi pala kailangan ng mamahaling
bagay o kainan para malaman kung ano ang halaga ng isang bagay dahil ang halaga
noon ay nasa tao mismong kasama at kasalo mo.

"I'm happy for you and Chancent," Mommy's formal voice cheered me up all of a
sudden.

Nanumbalik ang ngiti sa labi ko at inangat ang tingin sa kanya. "Thank you, Mommy."
Gunther and Daddy congratulated me, too. The dinner went smoothly even with
Gabanni's unending sarcasm and roll eyes. Chance adviced me to let her talk because
I know in myself what's true and not.

The running weeks became hectic for me and I expect it to go round so hard because
it's exam days...

"Hey, Pal!" si Quentin habang naglalakad ako patungong cafe.

I smiled at him. "Hi, Quen! Long time no see!"

I was also surprised when he kissed my cheek with a gentle caress on my small back.
If this was just a very normal day like the old times, I wouldn't mind it because
it was his way to greet me but...

"Quen, I have a boyfriend," I said and stepped back a bit in irritation. I sighed
calmly. "You can't do that anymore."

He swallowed and nodded, he smiled slightly.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know and I'm used to approach you like that..."

"It's alright, just don't do it again because it's not the same anymore. My
boyfriend won't like that." I nodded and smiled forcibly, medyo ilang pa rin.

He tried to talk to me again but I already bid my goodbye and went into the cafe, I
just ordered an iced coffee and left immediately.

Quentin was kinda awkward and annoying today, I'm sure that he knows it. Nagpopost
naman ako ng Instagram story na kasama si Chance, hindi malabong nakita na niya
iyon pero siguro ay nasanay talaga siya sa kanyang madalas na pagbati sa akin noon.

I was holding my books and bag on my shoulder while walking when I bumped onto
someone that made me lose the iced coffee and my books.

I gasped, I tried to calm my words coming out. Inangatan ko ng tingin ang lalaki na
ngayon ay nagpupunas ng kanyang polong natapunan ng iced coffee ko.

"Hindi ka ba tumitingin—"

Nahinto ako sa pagsasalita nang makitang si Racksle Estrevillo pala iyon, I

flinched and forced myself not to spit venomous words. Heidden that I just noticed
on the other side, crouched down to pick up my books.

Racksle sighed. "I'm sorry, Pallavi. You were not looking."

My mouth parted at his sarcasm, I just shook my head irritably. Heidden gave back
my books, mabuti na lang at hindi ako ang natapunan masyado. Inirapan ko sila kahit
hindi sadya dahil kusa lang iyon na nagawa ng mga mata ko.

"I'm sorry," I said sarcastically.

Heidden chuckled a bit, his damp hair was down smoothly today. Medyo panatag na rin
naman ako sa presensya niya dahil madalas namin siyang makasama ni Chancent kapag
nasa site o cafeteria na malapit doon. Ganoon din itong si Racksle, iyon lang hindi
kami madalas mag-usap.

Racksle smiled playfully. "It's okay, forgiven."

Gosh! Annoying!

Mabilis akong naglakad paalis, hindi ko na lang pinansin ang natapong iced coffee.
I went back to school to take my exam immediately, hindi pa ako kumakain simula
kanina dahil abala ako sa pagrereview noong magbreak time. I was so frustrated
every exam days, madalas akong hindi makakain.

Nasa pangalawang taon na ako at mas humihirap lamang ang pag-aaral para sa akin.
Taking this program isn't really an easy way to get into Law School, I hope I can
make it through the frustration and desperation years. Dalawang taon na lang,
makakapag law school na ako!

Everyone in the family and Chancent will be proud of me.

"Baby..." Chancent's deep voice called softly.

After the exams, I went to the cafe near the Estrevillo's site. Umorder lang ako ng
cake at milkshake, kumain ako at nagpasyang magpahinga saglit. Plano ko talagang
pumunta sa site kaso naabutan na ako ng pagod sa lamesa.

I opened my eyes sleepily and looked at him, I smiled a bit.

"Nakaidlip ako."

Huminga siya ng malalim, his eyes were soft and worried while looking at me.

"The crew said you were here at four in the afternoon."

I sat up and combed my hair down with my fingers while looking outside the cafe,
madilim na ang kalangitan at naalala kong may araw pa noong pumunta ako rito!

"Anong oras na ba?"

"Seven, you didn't text me."

"I was planning to bring you snacks! I'm sorry!" I gasped. "Hindi ko namalayan
napahaba tulog ko."

Naupo siya sa couch na inuupuan ko kaya umurong ako ng konti at sumandal sa glass
wall, I palmed my forehead while looking at him. He's wearing a dirty shirt and his
hair was a bit wet, mukhang nakapaghilamos naman na. Alas siyete nga pala ang
madalas niyang out kapag nagtatrabaho sa site.

"You should have informed me, I was waiting for your text."

"I wanted to surprise you a visit," I said sadly.

He sighed heavily. "Please, don't do this again."

Kumurap-kurap ako, my heart began to pound painfully. Sa sitwasyon ko pa lang,

gusto ko na sumuko sa pag-aaral. Paano pa sa law school?

"Gusto ko lang talagang makita ka ngayon kasi pagod na pagod ako sa exam namin, I
need a hug from my boyfriend." I pouted and went closer to him, I put my arms
around his waist and even when he's dirty—I didn't care.

Pinagbawalan kasi siya ni Mommy na pumunta sa amin nitong week dahil nga exam ko at
sa tingin ni Mommy ay makakaabala si Chancent sa pagrereview ko. Nakakainis iyon,
hindi niya kasi alam na isa 'to sa mga nagmomotivate sa akin.
He wrapped his arm around me and kissed the side of my head.

"Don't do this again, okay? I-text mo lang ako at ako ang pupunta sayo, kahit saan
at kahit anong oras."

I inhaled and nodded as my arms tightened around him, I swallowed to avoid my

emotions. I feel helpless at school and home, he's my only salvation here.

"I wanna cry, Chance..."

He knows how much I was forcing myself to survive here, akala ko noon madadala sa
pera ang mga grado pero hindi ganoon ang lahat ng paaralan. I know, I'll eventually
fail and I'm scared.

He caressed my arm down tenderly that made me more emotional.

"You can do it, baby. I believe in you," he whispered to motivate me.

"I don't think I can last another year in my program. Kanina, hindi ako tiwala sa
mga sagot ko," tears started rolling down. "What if I fail? Anong gagawin ni Mommy?
Mawawalan siya ng tiwala sa akin."

He inhaled against my hair.

"I'm always here for you through everything, even failures. You have me, Sileas. I
trust you." He wiped my tears. "Failures won't define you as a person, chances are
everywhere to take and try again."

I never believed in chances but... whenever it comes from his mouth, it felt like I
should trust it.

I gasped and crooned on his chest, his scent makes me feel white and clear as a
water. I just want to pour my heart on him because the truth is, he's the only
motivation that I'm in love with.

I hope, this will stay...

#UM19
#UM19

"Sinabi ko noon na ayaw kong mag-law kaso ako ang maiiba sa kanila lalo..."
malungkot kong sinabi. "Ako nga lang ang Villareal sa puder nila, ako lang kasi
iyong anak sa labas—iyong anak sa pagkakamali, ako lang 'yung hindi matalino."

My heart heaved, I don't know what to think. I've been paranoid for the whole week,
expecting the failed results of my exam. Ang bigat ng dibdib ko sa araw-araw, hindi
ko alam kung bakit pakiramdam ko ay kulang na kulang ang effort ko nitong
pangalawang taon ko at pakiramdam kong hindi talaga kakayanin.

I was sitting on Chancent's left thigh while telling him stories about my life and
he was listening to me with full attention, this is my most favorite seat everytime
we're spending time in his condo; I always look tiny on his lap.

"I know but didn't I tell that you were never a mistake? You were born to be
Sileas, not your parents' mistake," he stated certainly.

Hindi ko naman mapigilang maramdaman iyon na parang kahit anong subok kong pumasok
sa lugar na hindi para sa akin ay hindi talaga ako tanggap nito. Look at me, I'm
not even confident with everything while my siblings graduated law without a sweat!
I pouted sadly and nodded like a kid, pinunasan niya ang luha sa mga pisngi ko at
hinalikan ang ilong ko.

"You should stop thinking bad about your existence because you matter so much to me
now, it hurts to hear that." He poked my cheek using his nose. "Sinasaktan mo ako!"

I sobbed with a chuckle, huminto ako sa pag-iyak at natawa nang makitang masama ang
tingin niya.

"Parang tanga, Chancent!"

He pouted to offer his lips, I gladly kissed it and smiled genuinely. Kahit
kakatapos ko lang umiyak at magdrama, kapag nandiyan talaga siya ay pumapayapa ang
kalooban ko.

"Thank you for making me feel better..."

He smiled and pulled me, sumandal ako sa kanyang dibdib habang ang mga braso niya
ay pumulupot sa aking baywang at namahinga ang mga kamay sa tiyan ko—humawak din
ako sa kamay niya at napangiti na lang. We looked at the sunset together while
enjoying the touch of cold wind on the balcony that day.

My favorite days are like this, with him in a peaceful view of the city in front.

"I admire you very much, I'm so proud of you." He inhaled on my hair, he gently put
my hair on the other side so he could kiss and nuzzle my nape.

I shuddered at the touch of his nose and warm breath as my heart began to melt by
his words.

"Kahit minsan disappointing ang ugali ko at hindi ako matalino?"

"You say disappointing words and actions but we don't stop growing and improving.
And you know what, I think you didn't notice..." He chuckled lightly. "You worry
about the money I spend on our dates now, dati palagi kang nagrereklamo na hindi na
kita dinadala sa mamahaling kainan pero ngayon ikaw na ang namimilit na fast food
na lang."

I gasped and turned my head on him shockingly.

"I did?"

He nodded, chuckling. "Yes, or you just learned to love Mcdo and Jollibee so bad?"

Ngumuso ako at muling tumingin sa harapan.

"Masarap 'yong chicken sa Jollibee, masarap 'yung burgers sa Mcdo. I love them both
but I'm thinking about your hard work more, I can't really understand why you're
working in the construction! I hate seeing you so dirty and sweaty!"

I really hate seeing him so tired, he was carrying heavy metals and hollow blocks
when in fact he should be staying in his own office—reading documents and other
stuff in the company. Naaawa ako sa kanya kapag marumi at pawisan siya, madalas
pang pagod.

Humalakhak siya.

"Mabaho ba ako parati kapag sinusundo ka?"

"Amoy bakal ka minsan 'tsaka sobrang dungis mo, nakakainis pero hindi ko naman
mapigilan amuyin!"

Hindi naman siya bumaho kahit kailan, siguro pawis na niya mismo ang mabango o
talagang humaling lang ako sa kanya?

Tawa siya nang tawa. I turned around to watch him, still sitting on his other thigh
but with more sight of his face. God, how I love the way he laughs and shows his
perfect set of teeth—especially, the sound of his laughter that sounds like
heartbeat within my chest.

"I'll take a shower first before fetching you now. I'm so sorry, baby ko," aniya.
"Baka makipagbreak ka sa akin dahil mabaho ako minsan, ah. Natural lang 'yon
pagtapos ng trabaho, e!"

Umismid ako, pigil ang ngiti.

"Hindi, napagtitiisan naman 'yan. Sabi mo nga, we don't stop growing and improving.
I know, one day, you'll learn to take care of your hygiene!" asar ko.

He laughed even more, inamoy niya agad ang manggas ng shirt niya ngayon at
suminghap.

"Hindi naman mabaho! After work lang 'yon!"

I laughed. "Huwag ka na kasi magtrabaho sa construction. Entrepreneurship ang

tinapos mo, dapat nasa office ka lang!"

Our talk continued as time passes by, wala kaming ibang ginawa kundi ang tumawa sa
napag-uusapan at kumain kapag gutom. Hinatid niya rin ako sa bahay nang mag alas
siyete, iyon ang curfew ko kahit weekends.

Next day, Chance was invited to have dinner with us and it was a great night.
Ganoon ang aming mga araw na nagdaan hanggang sa kinatatakutan ko.

Lunes ang araw na makukuha na namin ang results ng aming exams, my hands were cold
while waiting for my papers. Kabado rin ang iba sa mga kaklase ko at prente naman
ang ibang pinanganak ng matalino.

"Villareal, Pallavi!" tawag ng assistant na estudyante.

It was a brown envelope with my exam papers, lumapit ako para kuhanin iyon at
bumalik din agad sa upuan. Takot akong buksan iyon kaya hindi ko ginawa, my
classmates were already celebrating their passed results. Tahimik naman ako at
bahag ang buntot, pagkalabas ng assistant ay lumabas na rin ako.

"Pallavi!" tawag ni Cassandra kaya napahinto ako at sumabay sa kanyang salubong.

Bumeso siya sa akin. "Kumusta results mo?"

I don't really know but... "Ayos naman."

She giggled happily and hugged me.

"Congratulations!"

"Congrats din, Cassandra."

"O, siya mauuna na ako! I hope we can have time to celebrate this week!"
I nodded and smiled while looking at her, tumakbo na siya patungo sa ilang
kaibigan. I sighed heavily, para akong lantang gulay na lumabas ng university.

I sadly scanned the area and I saw Chancent's car, nakita ko rin siyang nakikipag-
usap sa nagtitinda ng sigarilyo. He picked a bubble gum and teared it to open and
chew after a stick. It made me smile lazily, he acts so low-profiled and humble.

"Pal!" I heard a familiar voice from behind that made me turn around.

My eyes widened when I saw Patch, she waved her hand as she walked closer to me.
She immediately hugged me in excitement, I hugged her back.

"Patch..." I said and giggled, I'm still surprised that she's here.

"OMG! I missed you!" she kissed my both cheeks and hugged me again.

"You didn't tell me you'd be here today or ilang araw ka ba rito?" mangha kong
tanong.

She's wearing a baby pink off shoulder dress and a pair of stilettos, her bob cut
black hair was down smoothly. She looked pretty than the last time we met.

"Kahapon lang." She smiled. "You look so pretty and... blooming!"

I chuckled. "So what are you doing here?"

She shrugged a bit and pointed somewhere. "Sinamahan ko lang si Ritz na magsundo sa
boyfriend niya. Naalala ko na dito ka nga rin pala!"

I nodded and smiled. She looked so cute in her outfit, ngumuso siya at luminga sa
paligid.

"May driver ka? Kain tayo!"

"Uh, wala... pero si Chance ang sundo ko."

"Oh, wow! Can I hitch in? I'm gonna treat you a lunch!"

Huminga ako ng malalim at unti-unting tumango, tumalikod na nang magsabi siyang

magpapaalam siya sa mga kaibigan na sa akin sasama ngayon.

I walked towards Chance' car, he immediately saw me. Nagpaalam siya sa kausap na
vendor para puntahan na ako, he was grinning handsomely as he held my waist and
kissed my lips quickly.

"What's with the long face, baby?" he asked sweetly and caressed my hip.

I lifted my brown envelope and gave it to him tiredly, tinanggap niya iyon at
hinawakan na lang bago kinuha rin ang bag ko para isukbit sa kanyang balikat.

"Ikaw na ang unang tumingin, wala akong tapang." I sighed.

Nagkatitigan kami, marahan niyang hinaplos ang buhok ko.

"Sure, let's go..." he pulled me until the car door.

"Wait, si Patch pa."

His brow arched up. "Patch?"

I nodded and looked around, nakita ko namang palapit na si Patch.

"Yeah, there she is. Libre niya raw, lunch."

Chancent's jaw clamped but he nodded, binuksan niya ang likurang pinto para sa
kasama namin. Nagtaas ng kilay si Patch pero nakangiti ang labi at kumaway sa aming
dalawa.

"Hey, Chancent! Long time no see!"

Tipid na ngumisi lang si Chance at inalalayan na akong pumasok sa harapan bago siya
umikot sa kabila. Patch slid into the back and closed the door, Chancent started
maneuvering the steering wheel to leave.

"Where do you wanna eat?" Patch asked at the back.

Nilingon ko si Chance na tahimik ang pagmamaneho kaya hindi ko na hiningi ang

suhestiyon at nginitian ko si Patch sa likuran.

"Mcdo?" sabi ko.

She laughed. "Wow! Tinuruan ka na rin mag fast food?"

I wanted to ask who but I remember that she's Heidden's ex girlfriend and I know he
likes fast food, too. I shrugged.

"Masarap naman doon, uhm... at mura."

Tumango-tango siya, natatawa.

"Kayo na ba?"

I chuckled. "Oo, this month lang."

"Oh, so you were courted by Mr. Universe for long month?" she chuckled. "I saw him
posting your photos together months ago... nililigawan ka pa lang niya no'n?"

Bahagyang nangunot ang noo ko pero hindi ko na lang pinuna ang pagiging kuryoso
niya.

"Oo."

She chuckled. "Uh-huh, that's great! Congrats to the both of you!"

"Thank you!"

Ilang sandali pa ay nilingon ako ni Chance, nagtaas ng kilay na tila pagtatanong.

"Mcdo, baby?"

Nilingon ko naman si Patch sa likuran at nakitang nanonood sa aming dalawa.

"Mcdo na ba, Patch? Baka may iba ka pang gustong resto?"

She exhaled simply and smiled. "Kahit saan naman, ayos lang."

"Mcdo na lang tayo, baby," I said to Chance lowly.

He smiled and nodded before he continued driving, sa Mcdo na nadaanan lang kami
huminto at pumarke. Chancent held my hand as we follow Patch, nauuna siyang
maglakad at pumasok sa Mcdo.

Mabilis din kaming nakahanap ng puwesto sa loob pero si Chance na ang nag-insist na
pumunta sa counter, hindi rin pala matutuloy ang panlilibre ni Patch dahil
siguradong si Chance na ang magbabayad. Naiwan kami sa lamesa.

Patch stood up, holding her purse. "I'm gonna pay the orders."

Kunot na kunot ang noo ko habang sinusundan siya ng tingin na pumunta sa counter at
kausapin si Chance, he looked at her and told something but Patch shook her head,
inis ang salubong na kilay ni Chance bago napailing at umalis doon.

Nanliliit ang mga mata ko nang bumalik si Chance sa aming lamesa, it bothered me to
the point irritation caught my blood.

"What did she say?" I asked normally.

Medyo naiinis ako na sumunod pa si Patch, nag-insist na nga si Chance. Alam ko

namang nagsabi siya na manlilibre pero hindi na niya kailangan sundan doon gayong
nag-uumpisa na siyang umorder.

His eyes drifted on me as he sat beside me, his eyes turned soft again.

"Siya na raw ang magbabayad."

I inhaled and nodded. I could sense his irritation towards her.

"Magkagalit ba kayo? O may alitan?" taka kong tanong, kuryoso kung bakit parang
iritado siya sa presensya ni Patch.

"Nothing, baby."

I looked at him in the eyes. "Are you sure?"

He didn't look away and equaled my stare, he nodded. "I'm sure..."

Huminga ako ng malalim at naniwala roon, I slided the envelope on the table.

"Tingnan mo nga kung bagsak ako, kapag may bagsak, isara mo."

Chancent chuckled and took it to open, he didn't take the papers out. Tiningnan
niya lang isa-isa iyong unahan kung saan ang scores nakatala, hindi ko na siya
matingnan dahil sa takot ko na may makita akong dismaya roon.

Dumating si Patch at ang mga pagkain, Chancent slid back the papers into the
envelope and looked at me. Para akong biglang hihimatayin sa panghihina dahil
kumpirmadong mayroon akong bagsak.

Chancent prepared a food in front, siya ang naghalo ng spaghetti ko at binigay sa

akin ang tinidor. I smiled a bit and thanked him before eating quietly, nagbukas
lang siya ng burger para sa kanya bago pinulupot ang isang braso sa aking baywang
mula sa likuran.

I caught Patch' eyes on my hand with ring, hindi nakalampas ang pagtataas niya ng
kilay pero agad ding winala iyon at nagpatuloy sa kanyang pagkain. Her eyes
suddenly turned so down and sad.
"Do you have a problem, Patch?" I asked softly. 

Napatingin siya, medyo natawa.

"Wala, 'no! Bakit?"

"You look a bit sad," I stated.

"Ah, wala. Miss ko lang New York."

Tumawa ako. "Akala ko miss mo lang... si Heidden."

She immediately waved her hand to dismiss.

"Wala na 'yon, we didn't really work out. That's all."

I took a deep breath. "Did you fall out of love or him?"

"We just didn't really vibe, Pal."

I nodded, dismissing the topic.

Baka nasasaktan pa rin siya tungkol doon kaya nakakahiya naman kung ipipilit kong
ipasok iyon, I was just curious all this time why did they break up. Was it her
fault or Heidden's? But I guess, they are both to blame. Although, it was their
choice to make.

"Thank you for the lunch, Patch!" I smiled, nasa sasakyan na kami pagtapos kumain.

"No big deal!"

I nodded. "Anyway, where can we drop you? Where are you staying here?"

Hindi agad siya nakasagot doon pero kalaunang sinabing bababa na lang siya sa isang
hotel, ganoon ang ginawa ni Chance. Patch was staying in a five star hotel here,
medyo guilty ako na hindi ko man lang siya maalok na sa amin na lang muna dahil
alam kong hindi payag si Mommy roon.

Hindi ako pinakalma ng aking resulta, hanggang sa paglapag namin sa condo ni Chance
ay para akong nakalunok ng bato at hindi na naalis iyon.

"Ilan ang bagsak ko?" tanong ko agad pagkaupo ko couch.

Chance was unbuttoning the first buttons of his polo as he walked towards the
fridge, he inhaled when he downed a glass of water and looked at me.

"Open and see it yourself..."

I took a very deep breath to give my heart a proper air, mabilis kong kinuha ang
envelope. Pikit-mata kong nilatag ang mga papel sa lamesita, naramdaman ko ang pag-
upo ni Chance sa tabi ko.

I slowly opened my eyes to check the scores, nakita ko agad ang isang pulang marka
na nangangahulugang bagsak. Agad akong pinangunahan ng takot, my eyes watered.
Pinasadahan ko na ng tingin ang lahat, isa lang iyong nakapula pero hindi iyob
sapat na dahilan upang mapanatag ako.

"Major." I washed my palms on my face frustratingly up to my hair up.

Chance inhaled and caressed my arm.

"You can pull it up on the next sem. Bawi tayo, okay?" he said, trying to comfort
me.

I was so blinded by frustration and pain, I gasped and pushed him off me while
shaking my head.

"Hindi mo naiintindihan, e!" iritado at puno ng samang loob kong sinabi.

He can't understand where I'm coming from, hindi naman kasi niya naranasan kung
paano maging anak ng Mommy ko. This is the first time I failed a major subject and
it's really frustrating for me because I know what could be the possibilities...
ngayon pa lang nasasaktan na ako, paano pa mamaya kapag nakita na ito ni Mommy?

"That's just one, Sileas. Mababawi mo pa 'yon," nagpapaintindi niyang paliwanag.

"Oo, Chance. Pero hindi mo naman alam ang magiging reaksyon ni Mommy diyan. You
know what? Just practice yourself without me." I stood up, crying silently. "Ihatid
mo na ako."

He stood up to follow me and pulled me into a tight hug that made me cry more
against his chest.

"This is the first time I failed this subject," I mumbed with sobs.

"I'm sorry..." that's all he could say while comforting me.

Wala naman siyang kasalanan.

"Mommy will surely tell me to stop me seeing you, or even talk to you,"
kontroladong iyak ko.

"Gagawa ako ng paraan, huwag kang mag-alala." He caressed my arm and cheek, he
looked into my eyes. "You tried your best, I witnessed it. I know how much you
tried, baby. Please, don't take it as if you created a crime because failing is
normal."

Tears were rolling down my cheeks, suminghap ako at nagbaba ng tingin.

"Maraming kapalit iyon sa amin, Chance. Failing is not normal for us." Umiling ako.
"Iyon nga, I tried my best but I still failed."

Ang sakit. Exam iyon, major subject at alam kong normal na bumagsak dahil sigurado
naman akong hindi lang ako pero... hindi kasi ganoon kadaling tanggapin iyon. Ang
sama sa loob, I tried my best—I put all the effort I had.

I wasn't sure how many hours I cried on Chancent's chest but it somehow gave me a
little space in my crowded chest, kalaunan niya rin akong hinatid sa bahay.

Chancent's last words made me feel human again; no one's perfect, anyone fails. We
have two feet to stand up and try again.

Try again...

I was so nervous as Mommy started checking my results, nasa opisina kami sa sumunod
na araw dahil hindi ko iyon maitatago kahit gustuhin ko.
"You failed a major subject, Pallavi?" her voice thundered.

Walang salita, marahan akong tumango at nakayuko lamang ang ulo sa kahihiyan.

"I'm sorry, I will try—"

"I can't believe this!" she spat. "This is the first time you failed this, right?
Maybe, having your boyfriend wasn't a good choice at all."

I gasped nervously. "Mommy, I'm sorry! Chancent is out of this, please."

"Out? Isn't that a sign? Ngayon ka lang bumagsak, Pallavi! Sa tingin mo

paniniwalaan ko 'yan?"

"Wala naman po siyang bahagi sa mga pagkakamali ko, Mommy. He's out of this! It's
just that, I think I'm not really for Polsci," I said lowly but bravely.

She gasped and hit the table, takot ang bumalot sa akin pero nanatili ako roon.

"Get out of here and figure things out of your head, you are losing focus!"

Pinigilan kong maiyak sa harapan niya at sinunod na lamang ang pagtataboy sa akin,
I went of her office with tears running down my cheeks. Hindi ako dumiretso sa
silid at bumaba na lamang, I need to get some fresh air to breathe and calm my
heart down. Anxiety is kicking, I shouldn't let this get into me more.

I could feel the pain so bad. Ang tanga ko, ang bobo ko... hindi talaga ako para
rito pero kailangan kong maging.
#UM20
#UM20

I was eating my sundae quietly, my heart was so heavy and crowded with too many
things—pain and frustration were going strong as time passes.

Hindi ko alam kung nakailang kain na ako ng sundae dito pero pagtingin ko sa labas
ng Mcdo ay madilim na ang kalangitan, lights from the cars were dancing one way as
they passed the road. Huminga ako ng malalim, ang mga balikat ko ay bagsak at
pagod.

Bakit kasi hindi ako nabiyayaan ng matalinong utak? Matalino naman ang Papa ko,
matalino ang Mama ko, pero bakit? Bakit ganito ako?

Naalala ko pa noong narinig ko si Gabanni na nagkukwento tungkol sa Polsci, wala

raw siyang katanungan at naipasa iyon ng walang paghihirap. Isa pa si Gunther na
nagtapos naman ng Accountancy, kung tutuusin ay mas mahirap iyon pero naipasa at
natapos niya na uno ang lahat ng grado. Kung titingnan ang dalawang kapatid ko sa
kahit anong aspeto, walang-wala ako.

My heart hurt again, I downed another sundae and tears began to fall. I rested my
cheek on the cold table while my mind was questioning myself why's.

I texted Chancent that I'm fine, hindi ko na sinabi sa kanyang lumabas ako dahil
ayaw ko siyang istorbohin. I know he's busy with work, minsan nga nahihiya ako
dahil palagi siyang naglalaan ng oras sa akin kahit pagod.

I appreciate him so much, sana hindi siya idamay ni Mommy sa kung ano mang
pagkakamali ko.

I closed my eyes while tears were continuously flowing. Suddenly, I heard and felt
a tray sliding on the table that made me open my eyes, I lazily sat up to see who
dared to do that.

Heidden in a black shirt, gray sweatshorts and slippers—sat down on the chair in
front of me, his hair was simply down, cutting in the middle. He looked fresh from
the shower.

My lips trembled a bit as my forehead wrinkled.

"Ang daming upuan, dito ka pa nanggulo," tahimik at kaswal kong sinabi.

He shrugged and continued discharging the his food from the tray to the table,
nilapag niya sa kabilang upuan ang tray pagtapos. His eyes landed on my empty
sundae cups, I downed exactly six and yet my brain wasn't freezing. Nag-aapoy pa
rin sa mga iniisip.

He arched a brow. "You broke up?"

My face distorted.

"Of course not!" I realized how bad my situation is, ang dami ko ngang nakain na
ice cream at halatang may pinagdadaanan.

His lips parted slightly as he nods. "Ah, magbebreak pa lang."

"What!?" I hissed. "Hindi kami break at hindi magbebreak, okay?"

He started eating.

"Why are you here with a lot of sundaes, then?"

I sighed, I wanted to fire him irritation but I'm tired to even start.

"Bagsak ako sa isang exam, iyon lang."

He was chewing his food, he took a sip on his pineapple juice before speaking.

"So?"

"So?" I copied with irritation and glare, pinahiran ko ang luha dahil natutuyo na
iyon.

"So what if you failed the exam? Kailangan ba talagang magmaktol kapag bumabagsak?"

I scoffed painfully. "Are you seriously taking everything this easy? I'm crying
because it hurts that I tried my best to pass the exam but I still failed!"

Ang sakit-sakit, lalo pa noong makita ko ang disappointment ni Mommy sa mga mata.
Iyon kasi ang pinakainiiwasan ko, ayaw ko siyang madismaya sa akin dahil alam ko
ang estado bilang anak. Paano pa kung malalaman ni Gabanni iyon? I want this week
to pass already.

"You failed for a reason and you're still young, chances are for everyone. Exam
won't run away, you can take it again and pull back your failed scores," he said
like everything was so easy.

My lips trembled. This is frustrating me, wala ba talaga silang ibang masabi kundi
ganito? Chances? Puro na lang chances, akala ba nila gumagana iyon sa Mommy ko?
"Hindi mo kasi naiintindihan, parehas kayo ni Chance. Sobrang dali para sa inyong
sabihin 'yan dahil napagbibigyan siguro kayo parati pero iba naman ako, iba 'yong
pakiramdam sa sitwasyon ko. Magkakaibang pamumuhay tayo, e!"

He pursed his lips and nodded.

"Bakit, ano bang pamumuhay ang mayroon ka? Alam kong lumaki kang maarte at
makasarili dahil mayaman, hindi na bago iyon. Ano pa ba? Kasalanan ba sa pamumuhay
na mayroon ka ang bumagsak?" he laughed a bit sarcastic.

Hindi ako nakapagsalita, matalim lang ang tingin ko at tumutulo ang mga luha dahil
sa sama ng loob na walang makaintindi sa side ko.

Nagbabago naman ako, sabi ni Chancent. Hindi na nga ako namimili ng kainan at
kuntento kung saan niya dalhin. Bakit ganito pa rin magsalita si Heidden sa akin?
Ang sama sa loob na ganito lang parati ang tingin sa akin, na hindi iyon nababago
dahil hindi naman niya nakikita pero bakit parang ang sama-sama ko pa rin?

I am improving...

"If that's a yes, then, you grew up wrongly. You are rich but that doesn't mean—
you're perfect because you are fucking not. You have a very disappointing
perception in life and a brat, iyon ang mali, hindi ang pagbagsak sa exam."

Kunot na kunot ang noo ko sa mga naririnig mula sa kanya, para akong inaatake sa
puso at sobrang sakit ng pag-ikot noon.

"Don't ever mock how I grew up!" I spat. "You just don't understand the situation
of being raised by my mother! Hindi ka naiipit dahil kumpleto ang pamilya mo, hindi
ka spoiled brat dahil hindi naman nila kailangan bumawi sayo na hindi ka nabigyan
ng kumpletong pamilya!" tears rolled down my cheeks. "You didn't grow up inside a
family where you don't have a choice but to be like them! And you were not born by
a fucking mistake! Hindi pinapamukha sayo na iba ka, hindi ka tinatratong iba,
hindi iba ang apelyido mo sa iba mong kapatid, hindi ka nag-iisa..."

My heart cried badly, suminghap ako at humikbi nang humikbi dahil sa pag-iyak.
Guilt hit his eyes while looking at me but it quickly vanished. I immediately stood
up and left him, I feel so weak and angry by everything's happening in my life.

Tama si Chance, hindi nabibili ng pera ang kasiyahan. Nabibili ko man ang lahat ng
gusto ko pero hindi noon matatabunan ang sama ng kalooban ko, hindi noon mabibili
ang kumpletong pamilya... hindi ang pagmamahal o ang kahit anong pakiramdam na
gustong-gusto kong maranasan.

Ang sakit.

I tried to call Papa, matagal niya bago nasagot pero nagpapasalamat ako na nasagot
kalaunan.

"Baby girl, Fili just gave birth! You have a baby sister now!"

Mas nakaramdam ako ng pait, lalong bumuhos ang tahimik na luha. Bakit sunod-sunod
ang pagpapasama sa loob ko?

"C-Congrats, Papa!" I tried to sound cheerful but I'm still breaking inside. "And
to Tita Fili!"

"Do you have a pro—"

Binaba ko ang cell phone at pinatay na lamang, kahit may mga mensahe si Chance doon
ay wala akong lakas na basahin. Hindi ko alam kung saan ako pupunta, naglalakad
lang ako sa side walk habang dinarama ang simoy ng panggabing hangin na lalong
nagbibigay kalungkutan.

I'm happy for Papa and Tita Fili but I feel lonely more to hear that, I feel
seriously left out now. May mga sariling pamilya ang magulang ko habang ako, mag-
isa lang. Kahit mayroon akong Chance na parating nandiyan, iba pa rin iyong pamilya
talaga. Iba pa rin iyong comfort ng sariling magulang, o kahit kapatid. Kaso,
walang pake ang mga kapatid ko sa akin.

I wonder why I am being questioned about how I grew up, I know that I'm sometimes
harsh and rude and selfish but... it really hurts that they could only see my bad
side, not the sides of the home I've been living in while growing up that made me
like this.

How sad.

Naramdaman ko ang presensya sa aking likod, kung hindi ako nagkakamali ay si

Heidden iyon. Saglit ko lang siyang nilingon at nagtama pa rin ang tingin namin,
doon siya unti-unting sumabay.

"Ano pang kailangan mong sabihin?" sarkastikong tanong ko.

His jaw clamped, eyes darted in front.

"I'm sorry."

I just nodded. "Okay, leave me alone now."

What is sorry if it wasn't sincere? I couldn't feel him.

"Stop walking, you should go home."

Napairap ako. Hindi ko alam kung bakit pero kapag naiisip ko kung gaano siya
kabrutal kumontra at magpamukha sa akin ay nasasaktan ako. I'm really sensitive
when it comes to the topic about family or how I was being raised.

"Huwag mo akong utusan, uuwi ako kung kailan ko gusto."

"Nasaan ang driver mo?" tanong niya sa mababa at makapal na boses.

"I'll text him when I wanna go home already."

"I'll text Chance that you're walking alone in the middle of the night."

I glared at him. "I wanna be alone! Pati ba 'yan hindi mo maintindihan?"

Nakakainis na talaga, hindi ko alam kung bakit parati niya akong hindi
maintindihan. Para bang ang hirap-hirap kong intindihin kaya kokontrahin na lang
niya para basagin ako.

"I don't wanna leave you alone," he said.

Kumunot ang noo ko.

"It's not safe to walk alone here," he added icily.

Maarte at selfish ako.

Disappointing.

Ano pang tingin niya sa akin? Duwag?

Tapos ngayon susunod-sunod siya sa akin? Anong kalokohan ito, sobrang guilty niya
siguro noong narinig ang ilang detalye sa buhay ko. Totoo naman iyon, wala akong
planong magpaawa pero iyon ang kusang lumabas sa sama ng loob ko.

"Yes, I'm so pathetic pero hindi ko kailangan ng awa mo," I said straightly while
walking.

"You're not."

"I am!" iritado kong sinabi. "I know how pathetic is to be alone, hindi mo
nararamdaman iyon dahil hindi ka naman mag-isa."

He chuckled gruffly. "Oo, kasama kita ngayon, e."

I gritted my teeth, my chest pounded in annoyance.

"I thought you're smart? Where's your common sense now?"

"Nobody said I'm smart, I'm just one of those people with positive mind." He
shrugged.

"Whatever, I'll text my driver now. Mas gugustuhin ko na lang umuwi kaysa makasama
ka."

Natawa siya.

"Why are you so harsh?"

Suminghap ako at kunwaring gulat na binalingan siya.

"Ako? Baka ikaw 'yon, parati mong pinamumukha na lumaki akong mali!"

Nilingon niya rin ako. "Kasi totoo, I wanted to make you realize and see what's
around you so you would at least improve that insight."

I gasped and rolled my eyes. I'm still mad at him and I don't wanna forgive him for
making me feel so bad.

"You still made me feel bad as if I'm a suspect of crime!"

"That's why I apologized, right?" he stated with a hint of irritation, making a

point.

"Chance never made me feel like that—"

"We're different person, I don't tolerate that kind of mindset. Hindi ako nambe-
baby," malamig niyang sambit.

"Hindi niya ako bini-baby!" kontra ko.

And what? Hindi raw siya nambi-baby? E, ano palang ginagawa niya kay Patch noon?
Kaya nga spoiled sa kanya kasi baby ang turing niya!

"He's calling you baby." He pointed with a chuckle.

I glared at him. "That's just an endearment, pero pinagsasabihan niya rin ako—hindi
nga lang sa harsh way gaya mo! You're so heartless and rude!"

"Nakakabagal ng improvement ang ganoon," kontra na naman niya.

"At least, he doesn't wanna hurt me!" I spat. "And please, stop cleaning yourself
as if you didn't spoil Patch like a baby when you were together!"

Nagmamalinis pa siya, ganoon din naman siya. Hindi lang niya maamin dahil nga
bitter siya kay Patch.

"I didn't!" he defended immediately.

I made a face, waving my hand to dismiss his excuses.

"I didn't baby her, she's just really childish and immature."

"Okay, I remember that she was calling you a dog! Amo mo nga pala siya! 'Di ba, you
were following her anywhere whenever she was breaking up with you—"

He mocked a laugh, his stare grew colder that made me shiver.

"You don't know the story, Pallavi. And I don't really do break ups without a
proper talk in person."

I parted my lips to breathe simply, suminghot ako at umiwas ng tingin dahil

nakikinita ko ang iritasyon sa kanyang mga mata. Hindi na ako nagsalita kaya
nabalot ang pagitan namin ng katahimikan.

Huminga ako ng malalim.

"Patch is in Davao..." hindi ko alam kung alam niya iyon pero gusto kong sabihin
dahil baka maayos pa niya ngayong puwede silang mag-usap sa personal.

"Uh-huh," he replied carelessly.

Inangatan ko siya ng tingin. "Nagkita na kayo?"

"I saw her following Chancent," he said it so simply.

My forehead wrinkled, my heart was covered with confusion. "Why would she do that?"

Is he serious? O gumagawa lang siya ng kuwento? Pero bakit naman siya gagawa ng
kwentong ganoon, e, wala naman siyang pake sa relasyon namin ni Chance...

"I don't really know. They're best friends, though," walang kagana-ganang aniya.

Hindi ko alam ang iisipin doon dahil sa dami na rin ng nakapalukob sa utak ko,
kinagat ko ang labi at suminghap bago tumingin sa malayo.

"Are you jealous?" he asked in a serious manner.

Nagtiim bagang ako. "Sinong hindi magseselos? Ilang beses ko na siyang nakitang
nagt-text kay Chance, hindi ko lang pinapansin masyado."

Hindi siya nagsalita, wala ring reaksyon. Kalaunan kong nakita ang pamilyar na
sasakyan namin sa hindi kalayuan, mula sa Mcdo na pinanggalingan namin. I told him
that I'm going first, tumango lang siya sa akin at doon na ako tumalikod para
iwanan siya.

Hindi ako mapakali sa dami ng iniisip at dumagdag pa ang nabanggit ni Heidden,

sinusundan ni Patch si Chancent? Bakit? Anong kailangan niya? May punto iyong
magkaibigan sila pero hindi noon mapapagaan ang isipin ko.

Next day was harder for me, nalaman na ni Gabanni na may bagsak ako. Hindi man ako
pinahiya sa hapagkainan ay panay ang pasaring sa akin, it was painful for me since
I haven't really moved on yet from my failure.

"Hindi yata nakabuti sa kanya ang pagbibigay ng kalayaan, Mommy. Mas maayos siya
noong walang nobyo at hindi bumabagsak sa exams."

I just slowly played with my food on the plate, I couldn't find words to defend
myself because I'm at fault. I really failed an exam.

"Chacent is out of this, Gabanni," Mommy said icily. "Her boyfriend does nothing to
do with Pallavi's failed exam."

Nagpapasalamat ako na hindi dinamay ni Mommy si Chancent ngayon dahil wala naman
talaga siyang kinalaman sa resulta ng lahat. I've been doing so well with him, I
passed my first year with him. Hetong taon lang ako tumagilid, hindi talaga kinaya.

Tumango si Gabanni, ilang sandali lamang tumahimik bago muling nagbato ng pag-
uusapan.

"If she's already failing now, what more in law school? It would be harder than her
program today."

"She can do that. Right, Pallavi?" Gunther covered up.

I smiled sadly, I nodded even when I wasn't sure about it.

"Cheer up, it's just one exam," Daddy said.

I know Mommy was so disappointed in me, she doesn't talk much but I couldn't deny
how she looks at me. Nasasaktan ako sa simpleng pagtingin niya dahil iyon ang
pinakaayaw kong makita. All my life, all I wanted is to make her proud but this is
what I made her feel.

"Though, it's still disappointing. She's the first one who had a failed major
subject exam in the whole Miramontes sect. Mas nakakahiya pa iyan sa law school,
kung sakali."

"Why are you so harsh to your sister, Gabanni?" Daddy gasped in disbelief, his
forehead was wrinkled while looking at her daughter.

Gabanni shrugged. "I'm just saying facts."

"You should cheer her up so she can feel better about it, you are her big sister,"
matigas na sambit ni Daddy.

Gabanni sipped on her coffee and didn't talk anymore, Gunther smiled at me and
nodded like a cheer to light my mood up.

I just smiled back a bit, gusto kong umiyak pero hindi ko magawa dahil ayaw kong
magmukhang mahina gayong mahina na nga sa pag-aaral. I can't handle the truth in
Gabanni's tongue, I was the first one who had a failed exam. That's a total shame
for her and Mommy to have a daughter like me.
Nasa amin si Chance nang magtanghalian sa sumunod pang araw dahil sa imbitasyon ni
Daddy, we had lunch together with my family and I was thankful that Mommy didn't
mention anything about her disappointment but only business matters. It was a
peaceful lunch, mabuti at wala si Gabanni. Pagtapos ng tanghalian ay umalis ulit
sila Mommy at Daddy para pumunta sa firm.

We went upstairs to spend our time at the balcony, talking about random stuff until
my problem. Ayaw ko mang pag-usapan ay parati akong nakakaramdam ng pighati at
kailangan kong ilabas kahit papaano, Chance was like my hero everytime he's
listening attentively to my dramas. He doesn't get tired of it, of me.

"Oo nga pala, naalala ko lang..." I trailed off while looking at him, I was
hesitant to ask him but... "What's with you and Patch?"

His forehead crumpled with his thick eyebrows, bahagyang umigting ang panga.

"May nakapagsabi kasi na nakita ka raw na sinusundan ni Patch." I shrugged

casually. "I'm just really curious."

He didn't avoid my gaze, it was straightly looking at me and I know he would never
lie to me with that stare.

Huminga ako ng malalim, may kabang bumalot sa aking sistema pero hindi ko pinansin.
I gently caressed his hand on the table, between us.

"I know you're good friends, Chance. Walang kaso sa akin iyon, gusto ko lang
malaman ang totoo." Medyo tinawa ko ang kaba. "Parati siyang nagt-text sayo,
nagpalit ka pa nga ng numero at feeling ko dahil sa kanya. She was like a stalker,
napansin ko lang."

He didn't talk, just listening to me as if he knows I still have something to say.

My heart hurt a bit.

"May gusto ba siya sayo? O... may gusto ka sa kanya? O parehas kayo?" diretsang
tanong ko kahit masakit iyon maisip.

Nitong gabi ko lang napagsama-sama ang lahat lalo pa sa nabanggit ni Heidden, gusto
ko ng maliwanag na sagot doon dahil halata si Patch at hindi ko alam ang iba pang
iisipin. Come on, I am so crowded with pain and frustration these days. Ayaw kong
dumagdag ang relasyon namin ni Chance.

His jaw clamped and his eyes darkened as if I hurt him big time.

"Are you doubting my fucking feelings for you, Sileas?"

I swallowed nervously, napakurap-kurap ako dahil heto ang unang beses na nakita ko
siya sa madilim na aura.

"H-Hindi naman sa ganoon, Chance. I just wanna know the truth," maliit boses kong
sinabi, nang-aalo.

His chest heaved, he bit his lip ring for a second and let it go before looking at
me again and spoke.

"Mark me out of the choices. I don't feel the same way to anyone," he said sternly.
"I am only in love with you..."
#UM21
#UM21

Hindi ko alam kung saan magugulat, sa kumpirmasyon sa tanong ko o sa salitang

hinihintay kong sabihin niya.

I've always known Chancent as a man of actions, in terms of caring and loving me. I
could certainly feel him, his sincerity and loyalty that made me hold on to it more
than expressing through words. I got used to it, I never needed words to feel his
enticing love because his actions were so enough to make me hear his heart that
beats for me.

And this is really surprising to hear in his voice, everything turns into
butterflies. I blinked my eyes, my heart was beating so fast. It's overwhelming.

"W-Wait, what..."

He tsked and took my hand to kiss it.

"I'm in love with you..."

My ears heard flat lines, I gasped and stood up a bit to crouch and kiss him on the
lips—he accepted my lips with a smile.

"I love you, too, Chancent!" I said and sat down again with shock.

He frowns in disbelief. "Why are you so surprised to hear that? You didn't feel how
in love I am with you, really?"

"Hindi naman sa ganoon, it's just shocking that you said the words because I know
you're not that showy to tell that!"

"I love you, I love you and I love you so much." He was kissing my hand while
saying those.

I pulled a deep breath to calm my overwhelming emotions, his eyes darted on me

seriously and darkly—seems like he'd tell something more. I smiled.

"Back to the other one, so... you're out of the choices, correct?" I confirmed. He
nodded. "Si Patch ang may gusto sayo, ganoon ba?"

He nodded again that created a hollow in my chest. I don't know why but I feel bad
for Patch. Hindi rin ako makapaniwala.

"When did she confess that?"

"A month after she broke up with Heidden."

I gasped. "Alam mo nang may gusto siya sayo noon pa? Bakit ngayon ko lang nalaman
'to, Chance?"

"It was a long time ago, Sileas."

I feel a bit disappointed but still tolerable, he has reasons.

"Anong ginawa mo? Wala akong alam in between those months, Chance! Sa Bantayan
Island siya nakipagbreak kay Heidden, 'di ba? So after that month, she confessed to
you? How? Where? Did she ask you to meet or what?" sunod-sunod kong tanong.

It was reasonable, hindi pa naman siya nanliligaw sa akin noon at wala pa siya sa
Davao noong unang buwan pagtapos ng holidays pero gusto ko malaman kung paano para
may basehan ako sa magiging sitwasyon ngayon. Patch is my cousin, I need to hear
about it so I can at least avoid if ever we crossed paths.

He sighed heavily, he gently played with my fingers and stopped to make everything
clear with talk.

"Yeah, a month after February, she went to Makati and invited me to meet her. She
confessed what she truly feels about me and that she fell out of love with
Heidden..." he told while looking into my eyes. "I rejected her confession,
Sileas."

My brows furrowed. "And now, she's following you until here? I didn't expect this
from Patch!"

Hindi siya nagsalita at nakinig lang sa akin.

"Iyong umuwi ka ng Manila, months ago, nagkikita kayo? Nasa Manila rin siya noon!"

At dito ako madidismaya kung sakaling oo dahil nanliligaw na siya sa akin noong mga
buwan na iyon. Kung nakipagkita siya kay Patch at alam niyang may gusto iyon sa
kanya habang nililigawan ako, malaking disappointment iyon para sa akin dahil
sinusukat ko na rin doon kung may loyalty siya at wala naman siyang nabanggit
tungkol doon. If he was asked to meet her again, it's still invalid for me so
please... Chance, say no.

He sighed simply.

"Unintentionally, baby. I had been avoiding her since she confessed so there's no
way I'd meet her for a reason."

My brows were still furrowed while looking at him who never avoided my gaze just to
prove that he's not lying, I actually believed him but Patch was bothering me so
bad.

"Why did you reject her?"

He mocked a chuckle. "Why would I accept her? She's my cousin's ex girlfriend,

Sileas. May hiya naman ako."

Kumunot ang noo ko.

"Paano pala kung wala?"

Natawa siya, mangha sa akin.

"Hindi pa rin, malabo pa rin. I'm not that low to catch my cousin's ex, I would
never be that low."

I pursed my lips. "But you seemed very close back then! And Patch isn't low just
because she's your cousin's ex, watch your mouth."

He gasped.

"I know, I'm sorry for the word but that was meant for the situation. She was a
family for me since the day Heidden introduced her, our closeness isn't enough
reason to like her more than a friend."

I exhaled in distress, naiintindihan ko ang lahat ng paliwanag niya dahil lahat ng

anggulo ay inilawan niya kaya hindi mahirap para sa akin na mangapa.

"What will I do now? My best friend slash cousin is in love with my Chancent..." I
said lowly and sadly, thinking about how hurt Patch is right now.

Kaya pala ang lungkot niya noong nagkita kami, kahit nagpapakita siyang masaya ay
hindi noon naitago ang lungkot niyang nararamdaman. Naalala ko pang malambing kami
ni Chance noon, kung alam ko lang ay baka naagapan kong makadagdag sa lungkot niya.

His forehead wrinkled while looking at me directly, his eyes were sundenly crowded
with confusion, pain and fear by what I said.

"Wala kang gagawin. Don't ever think of breaking up with me or anything for your
cousin, please." He kissed my hand tightly and gasped. "I know this kind of fucking
situation where someone would let go for the other one just to save their
friendship."

That made me laugh a bit, his eyes looked scared.

"I'm not cliché, baby..." I said, laughing.

Though, it really caught my thought a while back. Ayaw ko kasing masira kami ni
Patch... pero mas ayaw kong masira kami ni Chancent. Hindi ko alam kung anong
hakbang ko ngayon para umayos kahit papaano.

He puckered his lips, frowning.

"Siguraduhin mo lang, ah?"

I smirked. "Wanna marry me now?"

He laughed and nodded immediately.

"That would be a pleasure! Ano, tara?"

Humagikgik ako at tinulak ang pisngi niya, pinandilatan ko siya.

"Magl-law pa ako!"

Chancent isn't a bad idea of a groom, maaring masyado pang maaga para maisip ito.
Kaka-nineteen ko pa lang pero hindi naman masamang mag-isip ng gusto. Iyon lang,
papasok pa ako ng law school kaya malabong mangyari ang mga nasa isip ko.

"Hindi ba makakapag-law 'pag kasal na?" ngisi niya. "Puwede 'yon! Papakasal ka lang
naman sa akin, hindi naman kita literal na itatali."

"Ganyan ka kasigurado sa akin?" natatawa kong tanong.

His lips curved, eyes were talking like heartbeats.

"I'm so sure that I'm up to marry you..." he said. "But I'd never force you into
marriage, the answers will be yours."

I swallowed while looking at him, sadness came in again for some reason that I
can't get. Bumigat na naman ang dibdib ko sa mga magkakahalong naiisip.

Tinawa ko iyon kahit ang puso ay hindi mapakali.

"Baliw, marami pang mangyayari at alam mo iyon."

"Alam ko, Sileas. Ang tanong ko naman ay ngayon, gugustuhin mo bang pakasalan ako?"

Huminga ako ng malalim at tumango. Ngumiti siya at tumango rin.

"Then, let me fight everything would come for us."

I giggled my sadness, I stood up to sit on his lap and hugged him. He crooned
against my chest and wrapped his arms around my waist, malapad ang ngiti ko habang
yakap siya at hindi sadyang napansin ko ang bulto ni Mommy mula sa hamba ng
balkonahe—nakatalikod at prenteng naglalakad paalis.

I blinked and shrugged it off. Hindi niya kami sinaway, ibig sabihin wala kaming
ginagawang labag sa batas niya. Mas napangiti ako, Chancent was whispering how much
he loves me and that was enough to melt my heart overwhelmingly.

I'm so in love with Chancent... I just don't know where this would go at the end of
the fairytale. Alam ko kasing marami pang pagdadaanan ang relasyon na mayroon kami
at natatakot na ako sa mga mangyayari. Ayaw kong dumating sa punto na... hindi siya
ang kasama ko oras na maabot ang pangarap.

Patch:
Hi, Pal! I wanna go to mall today. Are you free? It's Sunday.

Napabuntong-hininga ako, kahapon niya pa ako niyayayang lumabas at hindi ko masagot

ng diretso na ayaw ko. Medyo guilty ako dahil hindi naman niya alam na sinabi sa
akin ni Chancent ang lahat. 

It's been a week since I learned about it, Patch was always chatting me but my
weekdays were for school and she tried this weekend again. I couldn't help but say
yes. Today's Sunday and my weekends are for Chance, itetext ko na lang siguro siya
na sasamahan ko muna si Patch.

Ako:
I'm out with Patch today. You fine with it?

Sinundo namin ng driver ko si Patch sa hotel na tinutuluyan niya ngayon, she was
busy talking with her Capriana. Doon pa lang ako nagkaroon ng oras na itext si
Chance. It was really awkward for me to meet Patch today while she acts normal the
whole time.

Chancent:
Are you?

Ako:
Oo naman, hindi ko na lang siguro babanggitin ang tungkol doon. Kakain lang kami at
sasamahan ko siyang mag-shopping.

Chancent:
Okay. Aren't you gonna shop, too?

Ako:
Wala pa naman akong kailangan, tinitipid ko allowance ko para makapag-ipon.

Chancent:
I love you. Para saan ka nag-iipon?

I suppressed my smile.
Ako:
Basta! Huwag ka na nga magtext, baka mahalata ni Patch at magselos.

Chancent:
Don't even start, Sileas.

Ako:
Kididng. I love you!

Madalas ko siyang asarin ng ganoon at naiinis siya sa akin kaya parati ko ring
pinagtatawanan. Panatag ako kay Chance, na hinding-hindi papatulan ang nararamdaman
ni Patch sa kanya kaya wala akong ibang issue sa relasyon namin.

Pag-aaral na lang talaga.

Patch and I had a lunch first before going to shopping, madalang na akong pumunta
ng mall nitong nakaraang buwan simula nang maging kami ni Chance dahil mas madalas
kami sa bahay o 'di kaya'y sa condo niya pagtapos ng klase ko. He was just buying
me a food to eat even though we have everything at home, sobrang dami ko ring
chocolates sa kuwarto at mahilig siyang magbigay ng stuff toys na malalaki.

Akala ko makakatipid kami sa dates dahil doon pero gumagastos pa rin siya para
mabigyan ako.

"Pal, bili tayo nito!" si Patch, hawak ang pares ng Nike na sapatos.

I quickly checked the price first, napangiwi ako at nailing.

"Uh... wala akong balak mamili ngayon."

"Huh? Bakit?" may gulat niyang tanong.

"May pinag-iipunan kasi ako, also Mommy limited my card when I failed my exam."

Iyon ang kapalit, e. Wala naman sa akin iyon dahil bago pa niya limitahan ang card
ko ay hindi na talaga ako maggastos sa shopping. Chancent was paying for me and I
still have a lot of new clothes and sneakers, I don't need another yet.

"Ganoon? Ililibre na lang kita!" she insisted.

"Hindi na, Patch! Bigay mo na lang sa charity 'yang nine thousand na ililibre mo sa
akin!" I chuckled. "Marami pa akong sapatos na hindi nagagamit."

She looked at me, crossing her arms while holding the sneakers.

"You've changed a lot, Pal! Hindi mo naman iniisip ang pera dati!"

"Ah, I just don't like spending now because I have limited money," I reasoned out.

She nodded. "Or maybe, Chancent changed you. Kuripot iyon, ayaw ng gumagastos kaya
siguro natuto kang magtipid! Ikaw ba ang gumagastos sa date niyo?"

My lips parted at that, seriously?

Partly true, Chancent did really change me and still taming every expensive views
that I have. He's very mature when it comes in handling our relationship, ang sarap
pala sa pakiramdam na natututo mula sa taong mahal mo kahit hindi niya naman
pinipilit. Kusa lang akong napupunta sa reyalisasyon ng bawat gawain niya.
"He never made me pay, Patch." Not a lie.

Nakakataka naman iyon, bakit niya nasabing ganoon? Bakit, nakakausap niya ba ang
mga naging nobya ni Chancent at sila ang pinagbabayad sa dates? Huh? Isn't it
impossible? Ang daming pera ni Chance, barya lang sa kanya kahit ilan pa ang i-date
niya.

"Sabagay, hindi naman siya madamot sa mga babae noon pa. Hindi niya pinapagastos
kahit hindi niya naman siniseryoso." Tumalikod siya at naupo para magsukat ng
sapatos doon.

My forehead wrinkled.

"Don't get me wrong, baka isipin mong sinisiraan ko ang boyfriend mo. What I mean
is, you wouldn't know when he's really serious. Wala sa panggagasta niya ng pera
iyon. He courted and dated a lot of girls around, he knows how to tame those
spoiled brats or even the conservative ones using power and of course." She rolled
eyes. "His sugar-coated words."

Nanliit ang mga mata ko, kuryoso sa kanyang pinupunto dahil hindi ko mahagilap kung
saan nagmula.

"You mean?" I asked.

She smiled while fitting the shoe.

"He's only up for fuck, he'd lay a lot of time and money to get the girl he's been
obsessing with. After that?" she waved her hand sassily. "Bye-bye..."

I puckered my lips, acting fine even fire was slowly covering my head. My trust is
in Chancent's hand already, this shouldn't bother me!

"I don't think so, Patch. Even when we were not together yet, I know a lot of girls
around him would pull down their panties just to get into his briefs—oh, into his
boxers pala." I giggled shyly. "Hindi pala siya mahilig magbrief."

Her eyes widened as she heard that.

"Hello, my boyfriend is so freaking hot and good looking plus the fact that he's a
businessman. He doesn't need to throw a penny but only condom to be safe." I jerked
my hand in the air slightly. "It's Chancent Arlow fucker Estrevillo, Patch."

Her eyes narrowed, before she could turn around—I've seen the annoyance, coating
the mood.

"I don't know but I hope you won't regret not taking my advices about him." She
chuckled. "We've known each other for a long-long time—well, compared to you. Mas
kilala ko siya. Baka iwanan ka lang din niyan, sayang lang ang oras mo. Papaiyakin
ka lang pala sa huli."

My heart hurt big time, it was a blow for me and my mind began to think of the
worst thing would happen. Ngayon pa lang ay parang ang sakit na maiwan ng
kasiyahan.

I decided to suppress the pain and sadness I'm feeling, I smiled a bit.

"I won't regret my decision, Patch. Kung magb-break man kami balang araw, hindi ko
pa rin pagsisihan dahil minahal ko at pinasaya ako. And if he'll leave me after
everything, I'll keep moving forward because no one and nothing can stop my life,
even a heartbreak. Ganoon lang naman." I shrugged casually.

Hindi ko alam kung paano kami ulit nagkasundo ni Patch nang araw na iyon, we were
both quiet the whole time after shopping. Nagpasalamat lang siya sa akin at bumaba
ng sasakyan nang maihatid namin, tahimik ako sa biyahe at hindi mapakali dulot ng
mga sinabi ni Patch.

Paano nga kaya kung magkatotoo? Paano kung papaiyakin lang ako ni Chance bandang
huli? Parang ang daling sabihin na kaya ko iyon at magmu-move forward na lang pero
kapag nilalagay ko ang sarili sa sitwasyong iyon ay malalim ang guhit noon sa puso
ko, nakakasugat na agad.

Ako:
Chance.

He replied after a minute.

Chancent:
Hi, baby. What's up?

Ako:
Random question, paano kung madalas na tayong mag-away? Anong gagawin mo?

Chancent:
Haha, what's up with you?

Ako:
Sagutin mo kasi.

Chancent:
We'll fix it, having arguments in a relationship is just a normal thing.

I sighed.

Ako:
Paano kung sobrang complicated at unreasonable?

Chancent:
We'll take a day to cool ourselves down and fix it before sleeping.

Napapangiti ako sa bawat sagot niya sa akin.

Ako:
Paano naman kung may babae kang ibang nagustuhan? O ako, may ibang nagustuhan?

Chancent:
I don't like these options, baby.

Ako:
Sagot! :)

Chancent:
I'll tell it to you straightly and break up, I'm not a fan of cheating. I will
never like anyone else behind my girlfriend.

My heart hurt, bakit ganito? Tama lang naman ang sagot niya at nakakatuwa pero
mapait sa pakiramdam.

I typed again.
Ako:
Paano kung hindi na natin mahal ang isa't isa? O hindi mo na ako mahal? O hindi na
kita mahal?

I gasped out heavily after I sent that. Seconds and my phone started ringing by his
call, I declined it and typed a message.

Ako:
Answer that on text, I need proof.

Nilapag ko ang cellphone sa aking hita at naghintay sa kanyang reply, I looked at

the road we're heading. Nasa loob na kami ng village, ang bigat sa dibdib ko ay
hindi pa rin nawawala.

Chancent:
We'll figure things out with assurances at all sides because it's impossible for
me, I have to see every sides of our relationship so I could fill what wasn't
enough and ease off what was too much. Falling out of love is normal because of the
unbalanced relationship but it can be fixed together and that needs willingness to
get back to each other.

Tears rolled down my cheeks while reading it, I will be so fucked up if my

questions ever happen. Losing Chancent will be a lot of waste, it's like losing a
light in the middle of the darkest forest where you can't see salvation.

Another message from arrived and my tears lost control.

Chancent:
And I hope, you're still willing to fix it with me if that happened. I love you,
Sileas, I won't get tired of it.

I cried silently and typed a quick reply.

Ako:
I don't wanna lose you.

Please, let the years pass out and wake me up when it's our time to marry each
other. Fuck everything would ever try to break us and everyone who doesn't want us
together. I won't lose my Chance, this is the Chance without a second. This is the
Chance I've been telling without another.
#UM22
#UM22

Days, weeks and months had passed by... I couldn't say that it ran out good around
me because there were many times I felt bad, disappointed and sad but it's part of
the life, anyway. I am getting used to it while living. I'm not a perfect person
and I know that I disappointed a lot of people from the past months, too.

Sa ilang buwan ay marami na ang mga nangyari at parati pa rin akong naninibago
dahil walang permanente sa bawat hampas ng mga araw at buwan na tila lahat ay hindi
dapat kasanayan dahil gaya ng araw, lumulubog at naglalaho kalaunan.

But luckily, I passed my second year; sweating and barely breathing. School is
expensive, Mommy was always reminding me that even when she could build a school.
She just doesn't want me to expect that she'd spend money when I fail. Although,
Papa's providing my tuition but still not okay to fail, kasi kapag may nagpapaaral
ay naiisip na ayos lang bumagsak at mayaman naman kami.
Hindi ako pinalaking ganoon bilang anak na estudyante, my tuition was limited and
balanced every year that got me feeling the pressure every exam days and moving up.
Means, I shouldn't fail a year because I'd be the one in charge for the next year.
Usapan na iyon ng mga magulang ko. Mas ayos pa kay Mommy na ubusin ko ang allowance
sa luho kaysa ang magkaroon ng bagsak. I don't know, I can't understand-they want
every Miramontes to soar high with good grades without a failure in school.

Soaring high isn't easy... well, as for me that wasn't born with intelligence.

I looked at Chancent who was busy talking to his Mommy on the cell phone; his head
was on my lap, we were at his condo's balcony-our favorite spot every past
afternoon to spend and wait for the sunset.

"What? I just went back to check the reports, Mama."

Marahan kong hinaplos ang kunot sa noo niya, he looked a bit annoyed now. He
inhaled and looked up at my face, bahagyang kumalma ang mga lukot sa noo.

"Please, give me this week. I'll go back again and work."

Chance sighed heavily, he sat up and just settled beside me. Minsan kapag magkausap
sila ay naf-frustrate ako, hindi ko kasi naririnig pero wala naman akong karapatan
manghimasok sa usapan ng anak at magulang.

I've been just so curious because his parents were calling him every week recently
and after the call, he was leaving Davao for Manila. He said, it's all about work.
Pero ang alam ko, hindi sanay ang Mama niya na wala siya sa lugar at parati iyong
inaatake ng depression.

"I have a girlfriend here, Ma-" napabuntong-hininga siya at hindi natuloy ang
sinasabi, mukhang binabaan siya ng tawag.

Huminga ako ng malalim at hinaplos siya sa batok para pakalmahin, he looked

stressed while dialing again but the line was already off.

"Umuwi ka na lang ulit, mukhang ang tagal ka nang pinagbibigyan ng parents mong
magstay dito."

Totoo naman, napansin ko rin iyon kahit noong una pa lang na parang required siyang
bumalik ng Manila kada buwan. Ginagawa naman niya iyon pero nagtatagal lang ng
ilang araw at bumabalik ulit. He's a businessman, anyway. Most of them are usually
out of the country or something. Hindi ko nga alam kung kumusta ang trabaho niya,
e. Para kasing nakatengga siya sa Davao kahit may nag-aasikaso talaga sa
construction site.

"I'm already twenty four," he stated irritably.

I inhaled and nodded.

"Namimiss ka lang siguro ng Mama mo."

He rolled his eyes tiredly, still problematic.

I know that his Mom has mental illness. It was already treated but when her
children turned legal and free from them, she got anxious and usually stressed.
Narinig ko lang iyon sa kuwento ni Chance, kaya pala madalas iyong tumatawag sa
kanya para mangumusta o 'di kaya'y pauwiin siya. Naiintindihan ko naman iyon, doon
naman talaga si Chance sa Manila at narito lang dahil sa project na ako pala ang
dahilan.
Tss, this man and his efforts to reach me!

Sa sumunod na Sabado ay sinundo niya ako sa bahay at pinaalam kay Mommy, hindi
naman niya nakakaligtaan iyon tuwing sinusundo ako. Minsan ako na lang ang
napapagod sa pagpapaalam niya, pero sobrang nagustuhan siya ni Mommy sa ganoong
kaugalian. Minsan lang magbigay ng compliment si Mommy at iyon ang compliment niya
kay Chance noong minsang maghapunan kami.

"Saan tayo?" tanong ko habang nagmamaneho siya.

He licked his lips and shrugged.

"I have no plan."

My forehead crumpled in disbelief. "What?"

Tumawa siya. "I have no plan, I just wanna be with you this whole day."

"Bakit? Babalik kang Manila bukas?"

He nodded simply. I smiled.

"That's good, your Mom will surely be happy!"

He glanced at me softly. "I just forgot that it's her birth month. I hope I could
bring you but... yeah, school."

"August pala ang Mommy mo... sayang, every holidays lang kasi ako puwede or
sembreak."

He took my hand and kissed it while driving, I really love it when he's doing this!
Hindi ko alam kung ilang litrato na ang mayroon ako na kinukuhan siya kapag
ginagawa ito.

Months of being together, I'm still happy to have him around. Hindi ako nagsasawa
at kinasanayan na talaga ang lahat.

I smiled and lifted my cell phone to capture how he kissed my hand, natawa pa ako
dahil napatingin siya at matalim iyon.

"Ayusin mo! Mukha ka namang bad guy dito, e!"

He laughed, I captured it immediately. Hininto na niya ang sasakyan sa basement

parking.

"Ang hilig mong manguha ng picture!" reklamo niya habang pinapatay ang makina.

I pouted. "Memories!"

"Tss, are you gonna put them all in a slideshow for our wedding?"

"Hay naku, Chancent Arlow! Ayan ka na naman sa pagka-assuming mo!"

We both laughed and went out of his car, we met in front of his car and I clung
onto his masculine arm—I nuzzled it and giggled as we walked into the elevator.

"Love you!"
He giggled cutely but still manly because of his massive built.

"I love you." He kissed my hair and pushed the elevator button, he rested his back
on me as I rested mine on the cold wall.

I hugged his waist from behind and it made me want to capture ourselves in the
reflection, I quickly opened my cell phone to give it a shot.

"Picture, babe!"

He looked so lazy on the first shot, I bit his arm and pouted to point the mirror.
Napasinghap na naman siya pero hindi nagreklamo at ngumisi, he hooked me in his one
arm and lifted my head to kiss my lips.

"Give this a shot, okay." He chuckled.

I smiled while he's kissing my lips, kinuhanan ko naman iyon kahit natatawa. Isang
beses niyang pinanggigilan ang ibabang labi ko bago kinuha ang cellphone ko para
tingnan ang picture.

He smiled. "There you go."

Umirap ako, kinuha ko sa bulsa niya ang cell phone niya. I typed his passcode, it's
my initials in numbers but he changed the last; 7783—SPVE.

"I'm gonna airdrop it," I said. "Puro mukha ko 'to, baka akalain fan lang kita."

"Napakayabang!" tawa niya.

Bumaba na kami ng lift habang abala ako sa pagpapasa ng pictures namin, hindi naman
kasi siya mahilig magpicture na magkasama kami—mas laman pa ng cell phone niya ang
mukha ko. I have a lot of ugly stolen pictures in his phone. He doesn't usually
show his face that much on social media, even on Instagram? He only had four
pictures in a row, puro tanawin pa. Then his posted pictures these past months were
all my faces.

"Bakit kasi baliw na baliw ka sa akin, ha? Sana naman 'yong tayong dalawa ang
wallpaper mo at pinopost sa IG. Pagkakamalan ka talagang stalker nito, e." Iling
ko. "Iyong ibang babae tuloy, akala wala kang girlfriend at puro ka lang pagfa-fan
boy sa non-showbiz girl!"

He hooked his arm around my waist while we're walking in the hallways, he was
laughing.

"Kainis, ang yabang-yabang talaga!" He squeezed my waist and poked his nose on my
cheek. "Gusto mong matutong magluto?"

I nodded excitedly. "Are you going to teach me today?"

His lips touched my ear to whisper. "Pakasalan mo muna ako."

"What? So, gagawin mo akong cook pag nagpakasal na tayo?" kinalas ko ang braso niya
sa baywang ko at naunang magbukas sa unit niya.

Humalakhak siya at sumunod sa pagpasok ko.

"Hindi naman. Gusto mo matuto, 'di ba? Iyon ang bayad kasi tuturuan kita, e. Ang
unfair naman kung walang bayad."
"I can't believe you! Ang hopeless ng reason na 'yan, Chancent!"

He laughed even more. "Kidding. Pero tuturuan kita ngayon kung sinisipag ka, I went
to mall earlier and bought supplies here."

My eyes twinkled.

"Talaga?"

"Oo, ayaw mong magdate sa labas, e. Dito na lang tayo magluluto."

I smiled widely and nodded. Nilapitan niya ako at hinila paupo sa sofa, he removed
my heels and put my bag on the other couch. I asked him a lot of questions about
cooking while doing that, he even put slippers on my feet.

Our day started in the kitchen. He started teaching me how to hold a knife while
slicing meat and veggies, I was so attentive and a bit scared that I might slice my
own fingers. Habang ginagawa ko iyon ay nanonood siya at nagsusulat sa papel, iyon
yata ang steps na susundin ko sa pagluluto.

Actually, ang tagal ko nang nagpapaturo dahil marunong talaga siya. We've been
dating indoor for the past months to avoid spending money and he was the one who
cooks, tuwing monthsary naman ay dinadala niya ako sa mamahaling restaurant pero
nagugulat ako na nalulula na ako kapag kumakain kami sa labas. Naisip ko lang na
marunong naman pala siyang magluto, puwede na iyon sa aming dalawa kapag kakain
tuwing magkasama.

So basically, our months were spent in his condo—sometimes, at home. Kapag

weekdays, napupunta siya sa bahay at weekends naman ako puwedeng lumabas kasama
siya. Busy rin siya sa trabaho, pinagpapatuloy niya iyong pagtulong-tulong kila
Heidden sa site. Ilang beses na rin siyang umuwi ng Manila sa lumipas na buwan kaya
medyo kinasanayan ko na iyon.

Habang hinihimay ko ang dahon ng gulay ay napansin ko ang ngisi ni Chance, he was
just watching me because I told him. Sinasabi niya lang kung anong gagawin o kung
anong mali sa ginagawa ko.

I lifted my gaze to look at him with my forehead wrinkled, his grin grew wider and
a chuckle slipped out of his lips.

"Anong nakakatawa?"

Pumangalumbaba siya at umiling, I glared to push my question and he sighed with a

smile.

"Nothing's really funny. I just love to watch you, and I can't help but think about
the future years with you." He inhaled. "Paano kung magkasama na tayo sa bahay,
'no? Ang sarap sigurong matulog at gumising na katabi ka tapos ganito, we'll cook—
you'll get used to do things without maids."

I smiled, inirapan ko siya.

"You won't treat me like a princess? That's sad!"

"I will but not in a dreamy way. You're already my princess, but we still need to
learn how to do things without having servants because life shouldn't be ignorant
in that way as if everything needs to be served."

I pouted, suppressing my smile.

"You're so mature, Chance."

"I'm not young anymore. Though, Mama and Papa didn't really spoil us to be
masters."

"Wala ba kayong maids sa inyo?"

"We had maids when we were kids until thirteen but Papa never let us depend on
them, we always do chores with schedule." He laughed a bit. "Naalala ko nga, si
Nyxinea 'yong reklamador pagdating sa gawain. She doesn't wanna wash dishes that
much."

I laughed. "Ako rin, ayaw ko maghugas ng pinggan!"

He walked towards me and nodded while looking at me.

"I'll do it, then. You'll be in charge of cooking our everyday meals, deal?"

"E, hindi rin ako magaling magluto!"

"Sige, ako na rin 'yon."

Natatawa ako. "Kakasabi mo lang na hindi ako gagawing prinsesa. Ako na lang sa
paglilinis ng bahay!"

He stopped behind me, he put my hair up to tie it—he was so used to it, he always
does that to me. Ngumuso ako at nilagay ang mga gulay sa mangkok, I felt him
nuzzling my nape right after he fixed it. I flinched in tingles of his lips as he
kisses my nape down, it was shivering that's slowly taking my breath away.

Huminga ako ng malalim at marahang pinilig ang ulo upang pagbigyan siya roon, hindi
ko na nga lang magawa ang dapat na gagawin pa dahil napako ako ng maliliit niyang
halik. He pulled me to turn around, our eyes met that made me feel electrified. I
gasped when he crouched down to kiss my lips that I gladly welcomed with passion, I
couldn't count how many minutes we were kissing and he'd stop when I couldn't
breathe for a while; kissing down my neck and jaw.

"I t-thought we'd cook today?" I asked while he's kissing my neck, my head was up
for his space.

Chance already stopped smoking for my kisses, that was my deal. Kapag nagyoyosi
siya ay hindi ko pinagbibigyan makahalik, I don't want him to smoke again because
it's dangerous.

"We will..." He chuckled gruffly with a sound of his kisses down to my shoulder
blade and chest part.

I was gasping, still breathless by the feeling of anticipation and nervous at the
same time. I'm wearing a ruffled off shoulder dress, it was so easy to kiss my
naked skin. I held on his nape as he was giving wet kisses on my chest, his huge
hand found a way up to my right boob and started caressing it with my clothes on. I
can certainly feel his heavy breathing while kissing my neck, it was warm. I pulled
him more, hugging his nape.

I felt him pulling down the chest line of my dress to reveal my brassiere and he
started kissing my cleavage, suckling skin on some parts that makes me feel more
hot. Halatang gigil ang bawat halik doon, this isn't the first time he did this and
I got used to the kisses like these.
His other hand was caressing my butt cheek, he carried me up as his lips met mine
again. I got busy kissing him, he put me on the counter; his hand went in,
unclasping my brassiere. Binaba niya agad iyon kasabay ng aking dress, kinalas niya
ang mga braso ko sa kanyang batok upang hilahin pababa ang manggas ng ruffled dress
ko paalis sa mga braso. I was already topless, he gently gently caressed my boob
nakedly as his lips found my other nipple. Muli akong humawak sa kanyang batok
habang dinarama ang kanyang paghalik at masahe sa dalawa kong dibdib.

Hindi naman kalakihan ang dibdib ko pero sakto lang iyon sa kanyang kamay,
naghahabol na ako ng hininga sa kiliting dulot ng dila at mga labi niya. Bumaba ang
isang kamay niya sa aking baywang hanggang sa hita, ilang beses niya iyong hinaplos
at pisil sa gigil na paraan bago ko naramdaman iyong pumasok sa damit ko.

A moan slipped out of my parted mouth as he slided his thumb on my center, it

wasn't certain at first but I felt the tingle it brought especially when his thumb
started sliding up and down onto the cut of my center even with my boyleg on, my
hips were grinding to meet it because it feels so good. He was suckling my nipples
like a baby, my body was really hot at the moment with all his deeds. I could feel
my throbbing walls, I held on his wrist while his massage is becoming harder.

"Ah..." I was moaning as it began to get faster, his other hand held my waist band
to pull it down and he stopped caressing me to remove my boyleg.

I gasped in dismay, nagmulat ako ng mabigat na mga mata para babaan siya ng tingin—
nahuli ko siyang nakatitig lamang sa akin, kinuha ko ang kamay niya upang
ipagpatuloy ang ginagawa. His lips sided as his thumb started caressing my center
again that made me close my eyes and bit my lips to stop my moans, I'm just with my
panties now and I could certainly feel how wet I am.

"Chance, take me into your room—huwag dito..." I said lowly, my voice was shaking.

"Hmm, why?" he whispered, kissing my neck soundly while he's still caressing my
sensitive bud.

"Shit..." I gasped, yumuko ako sa panghihina at binaon ang mukha sa gilid ng

kanyang leeg.

He sided my panties to touch my flesh without anything, I shuddered because this is

the first time he touched me there nakedly. I hugged his nape and buried my face on
the side of his neck even more, his thumb slided up and down and it feels so wet. I
moaned softly, he was massaging it up and down—then circling around the very
sensitive spot that made me shudder with every flick, moaning.

Moments passed, I was soaking. My hips were unexpectedly grinding against his hand.

"Part your thighs more, baby..."

I gladly did it and he hooked them around his waist, he gasped heavily and carried
me up—walking faster into his room. We climbed on his bed together, he kissed me
hotly and unhooked my legs to part it and positioned in between me. Muli niyang
ginilid ang panty ko bago pakawalan ang labi ko.

I was clueless when his kisses slowly went down—kissing my tummy, I sat up to look
at what he's doing but I got so occupied with his caressing thumb on my center.
Ilang saglit pa ay naabot ng labi niya ang pagitan ng mga hita ko, my heavy eyes
widened at the first touch of his lips and I lost myself as I watch him flicking
his tongue around my folds. I ran after my breath, closing my eyes.
"Goodness, Chance!" I moaned loudly.

His chuckle vibrated that made me moan more, I held onto his hair as he started
licking me deliciously. Para akong papanawan ng hininga anumang oras, sa bawat
halik ng labi at galaw ng dila niya roon ay siyang pag-ungol ko. Habang ginagawa
iyon ay unti-unti kong naramdaman ang pagpasok ng daliri niya, iyon naman ang
sumunod kong daing dahil may hapdi.

"Oh, please... it hurts."

"Shh..." he hushed me and circled his tongue along with suckles on my folds.

I was moaning loudly, his finger dipped in and out slowly. I feel so tight around
it, medyo hirap at ingat pa siya sa ginagawang iyon.

"Arlow..."

"Hmm?" he hummed and went up to kiss my lips, his finger was slowly penetrating me.
"You're so fucking tight and wet."

"Is it o-okay?" I asked shyly.

He chuckled gruffly and stopped kissing me to watch my face, I opened my eyes to

look at him and his finger thrusts faster. My lips parted to moan and gasp as my
forehead wrinkled with pleasure, his eyes were so dark while watching me—I couldn't
see it because of his thick furrowed brows, he licked his bottom lip and bit it. He
looked like he was so pleased with my expressions and moans.

"I fucking love you, so bad..." he hissed in a low and deep voice.

I was gasping and I couldn't help but close my eyes, his finger went faster and
harder that in no time—I shuddered by my burst out, my moans were louder. Hindi ko
alam kung ilang segundo akong nanginginig habang pinagdidikit ang mga hita ko dahil
sa naramdamang kalangitan.

Mabilis siyang bumaba upang paghiwalayin ang mga binti ko at saka ako muling
hinalikan doon, hindi ako makapaniwala sa ginawa niya. Uminit ng husto ang mga
pisngi ko at pilit siyang inaalis doon pero napapaungol lamang ako.

"Chancent!" I called frustratingly, came out like a long moan.

He licked my everything before he went up again with a grin on his lips, I gasped
and pushed his cheek in my embarrassment.

"Bakit?" natatawa niyang tanong.

I shook my head and sat up, fixing my panties, closing my thighs. "Magtoothbrush
ka!"

He licked around his lips and shrugged, he kissed my jaw.

"I love you," he said with a chuckle.

Huminga ako ng malalim, medyo nakarecover sa nangyari—marahan kong hinawakan ang

panga niya at hinalik-halikan siya sa iba't ibang parte ng mukha. Natatawa siya
pero hinayaan ako. I kneeled and put my hands on his both sides, my other hand went
up to untie the lace of his sweatshorts.

He groaned and stopped my hand but I didn't, hinawi ko ang kamay niya at tinulak
ang dibdib niya para sumandal sa headboard ng kanyang kama. His lips were parted
while looking at me, I hurriedly pulled down his waistband.

"Sileas, enough," saway niya at hawak sa siko ko.

I put my index finger on his lips while pulling his boxer shorts, he's not really
comfortable wearing briefs. Hindi siya nagb-brief, boxers lang! Masikip daw kasi
kapag nakabrief. I chuckled mentally, he tried to stop me again by kissing him but
my hand was brilliant—I slided my hand into his boxer shorts to hold him and it
felt so alive that made me real curious how enormous it is, he gasped and cussed
against my lips.

I took that time to pull his bottoms completely, my eyes widened as I saw it
standing so proud in thickness—he's also long and hard. I bit my lips to cover my
shock, nagkatinginan kami at nakita ko ang pagtaas niya ng kilay.

"Ang... yabang mo," mahina kong nasabi.

He smirked and shook his head, hinila niya ang siko ko at akmang itataas ulit ang
shorts niya. I pushed him and held his shaft with my both hands, I stroke it down
that made him suddenly gasp. Fuck, he's so thick and long plus the fact that it's
alive—really scary.

Paano kung...

That's why I need to please him, I'm not yet ready to take him today. I'm scared.

Marahan kong tinaas-baba ang aking mga kamay roon, I wasn't really ignorant about
this because since we were making out—I got curious, I watched porn to learn how to
please a man and this is what I got. Tiningnan ko siya habang ginagawa iyon, pikit
na ang mga mata niya at nakasandal lamang sa headboard—mabigat ang bawat paghinga.

I swallowed my nervousness, I slowly crouched down to kiss his tip that made him
gasp loudly.

"No fucking blowjob, baby!" he hissed crisply and pulled me but I didn't let him.

"I wanna do this, please..." I said and pushed his hand away.

Napamura na naman siya ng malutong, I didn't care about his profanities and I
crouched more to put his length in my mouth. He inhaled so deeply as I slowly took
him down but I couldn't take it fully, my mouth's limit was just until the half of
it! It was frustrating but I continued, my head started moving up and down while
taking him in and out of my mouth.

I stopped in frustration. "You're so big, Chance. Tell me if I'm not doing good,
I'll try to—"

"Fuck it, Sileas!" he hissed and I know he'd stop me now even though he looks so
pleased. Namumula ang kanyang mukha hanggang leeg at pawisan ang noo.

Oh, how much I love this view!

I swallowed and continued what I was doing, I just held on the half of his shaft
while taking him in my mouth. Hearing his moans as I went faster makes me wanna do
more, I didn't notice that it got deeper—I choked, he immediately held my hair to
stop me but I didn't. I just carefully take him again and again, I heard his heavy
breathing and small groans.
It was a damn pleasure to me until his groan turned into a harsh cuss, he was fast
to pull me away. Naghahabol ako ng hininga. I wasn't doing anything special yet!
Hindi pa ako nakakarecover mula sa ginawa ko sa kanya ay naramdaman ko ang
paninigas niya, he got his own zenith. He pulled my nape and kissed my lips harshly
while having his release.

I gasped and chuckled while kissing him back. Kinalas niya rin ang halikan at
tinitigan ako, madilim ang mga mata at nag-iigting ang panga.

"Don't do it again!" he hissed and wiped my lips with his hand.

I licked my lips and shrugged, I kneeled to look at my dress on my waist that got
his liquid on it—I sighed and looked at him again.

"You should've let me swallow—"

"Shut up!" he hissed and took of his shirt. Tinaas niya ang boxer niya at mabilis
inalis ang dress ko sa akin bago sinuot ang shirt niya sa akin.

I pouted and rested my back on the headboard.

"Take my panties off and wash them, hindi ako puwedeng umuwi na iba—"

He exhaled while looking at me seriously.

"I know. I'll take care of it." He pulled down my wet panties and kissed my lips
before climbing off the bed.

Pinagdikit ko ang mga hita. He walked towards his closet, I watched him but his
butt caught my attention. That was my favorite part of his body but now? I think, I
have a new favorite. I bit my bottom lip and looked away when he went back with a
boxer shorts.

His serious eyes met my naughty look, napailing siya at sinuot na sa akin ang boxer
shorts niya.

"I love you, Chance," I said naughtily with a giggle.

He glared at me. "I love you, take a rest. I'm gonna wash your clothes."

"Magluluto ako!"

"I'll do it, just take a shower or rest here."

I groaned. "Why are you so upset? Am I the only one who blowjob you?"

"Your mouth, don't mention it again."

"Bakit? Ano pa bang ibang term noon? Uh... subo?"

He gasped but a chuckle slipped out helplessly, he quickly kissed me.

"I shouldn't have let you do it, I don't want you doing it for me."

I sighed. "No, I wanted to do it and... I loved it, anyway."

Gigil ang mga mata niya, hinalikan niya ulit ako bago tumayo.

"I'll just wash your clothes... if you wanna take a shower, feel free."
I giggled and nodded, tumungo na siya sa hamba ng pintuan at muling  lumingon sa
akin.

"I love you."

Humagikgik ako.

"I love you more!"

Umiling siya at humawak sa door frame.

"No, I love you more."

I shrugged.

"We love each other so much na lang!"

He puckered his lips to the side and shrugged with a chuckle before leaving the
door. I was smiling, nahiga ako at tumulala sa kisame.

My, God. I didn't expect he'd be pleased and I'm so happy to see him like that, it
was so lovely and heavenly as how he made me feel everything in one moment.

Napailing ako, pigil ang hagikgik at saka pumikit. I placed my hand on my chest
that was pounding harshly, my heart was screaming his name happily.
#UM23
#UM23

"Thank you, Chance!" I pouted sadly while looking at him.

His left brow arched up, tinukod niya ang siko sa bintana niya at hinilig sa
kanyang kamao ang sentido habang nakaabang sa aking sasabihin pa. Nasa sasakyan
niya pa rin kami pero nasa tapat na ng mansyon namin.

I couldn't help but smile, I relocated on my seat to face him clearly and caressed
his thigh. His Adam's apple moved up as he gulped, he was a bit stunned by my
sudden caress. Napanguso ako at marahang hinaplos ang hita niya pataas.

He groans. "Sileas, enough. That isn't funny."

"Really?" I chuckled and continued caressing his firm thigh in an up and down
manner. "But, why? I thought you'd love this..."

He held my hand to stop what I was doing, I laughed loudly when he glared
seriously.

"I loved it but I don't want you to do that again, I thought we were clear about
it? Hmm?"

"Bakit ba kasi? I know you really love the pleasure of my mouth-"

"Tangina naman," singhap niya. "Oo nga, pero ayaw kong gagawin mo ulit iyon. I
respect you, your mouth isn't for that and your lips are for my lips only."

Sinasabi niyang ayaw niya noon pero ganyan naman ang pinagsasabi niyang kasunod,
paano ako makukumbinse noon? Masyadong matamis.

I smirked. "No more blowjob, alright." I quickly straddled him that made him gasp
more but supported my back against the steering wheel behind. I held his jaw and
kissed him torridly, he gladly gave back my kisses but in a much gentle way that
feels like taming my fire with water.

I don't know what he did to me but I think, it's addiction.

I started dry humping slowly while making him busy with my lips, he gasped in my
mouth and groaned.

"Sileas, fucking please. I fucking washed your clothes. Stop this fucking-"

I suckled his bottom lip and pushed myself more, his grasp on my waist turned
tighter, squeezing me. I moaned softly as I began to feel him growing harder in
between my thighs, under his sweatshorts. I lifted my head to get my air back and
his lips landed on my collar bone, licking and sucking my skin. I was humping
continuously but he stopped my waist with a cuss.

"Fucking torture!" he hissed and bit a skin on my neck part.

I flinched. "Aray!"

He laughed roughly. "I'm sorry. Stop now, will you, please?"

I sighed heavily and looked at him straightly, I stopped grinding because he seems
serious now even with sleepy eyes. I nodded slowly and just kissed his nose.

"We'll do this in a right place and time, not in my fucking car, okay?"

I nodded, biting my bottom lip while looking at his red wet lips. He groaned and
squeezed my waist, nilipat niya ako sa upuan ulit at inayos ang buhok ko. Binuksan
niya ang ilaw sa loob at chineck ang balat ko, napabuntong-hininga siya at kinuha
niya ang bag ko para maghanap ng kung ano.

"What is it, Chance?" I asked softly.

"You have visible hickeys now... we need to conceal that. Where's your concealer
here?" aniya habang naghahanap sa makeup kit ko at binabasa ang bawat makuha.

Tiningnan ko iyon sa camera ng cellphone upang makumpirma, may maliliit na pulang

spot nga sa gilid ng leeg at bandang dibdib ko na nakikita dahil naka off shoulder
ako.

Shit, I should change my style now. Siguro mag t-shirt na lang ako sa susunod para
walang exposed skin.

He found my concealer, siya mismo ang naglagay noon sa mapupulang parte ng balat
ko. Kumunot ang noo ko.

"Sanay na sanay ka, gawain mo ba 'yan sa mga babae mo dati?"

"Hindi."

"Sinungaling!" I frowned.

He sighed. "Gawain ng kapatid ko 'to. Hindi naman ako nanggigil kahit kanino noon,
sayo lang." He glanced at me. "You're a fucking torture, you know that?"

My cheeks heated, heart fluttered. Umismid ako nang matapos siya sa pagtatakip ng
mga kagagawan niya, binalik niya sa kit ang concealer ko at inayos ang buhok ko.
"Get in now..." he said and glanced at his wristwatch. "Maaga ang flight ko bukas,
magpapahinga rin ako pag-uwi."

Huminga ako ng malalim at tumango, sinukbit ko ang bag sa balikat at binuksan ang
pinto. Bumaba rin siya para salubungin ako at ihatid sa aming gate, he gently
kissed my temple then my lips.

"I love you," he said while staring directly into my eyes.

I could feel the seriousness in it that stopped my naughtiness.

"I love you..." I said back with a smile.

I opened the gate and looked back at him, naramdaman ko na ang lungkot. Aalis na
nga pala siya bukas.

"Kailan ka babalik?"

"Birthday ni Mama next week. I'll probably see you in two weeks..."

I inhaled and nodded understandingly. Bakit parang ayaw ko? Bakit parang ang bigat
sa pakiramdam na aalis siya at ganoon katagal palang mawawala.

"Hatid kita bukas?"

He chuckled while staring at me.

"Heidden will drive me to the airport, are you fine with it?"

I smiled and nodded. "Okay, pupunta ako ng maaga sa unit mo."

"Susunduin kita. Magpapaalam din ako sa parents mo para alam nila."

I smiled sweetly, lumapit ako at tumingkayad para halikan siya.

"Okay, ingat!"

He flashed a smile and nodded to motion our house. "I will, get in now. I'll text
you when I get home."

Inayos ko ang sarili bago pumasok sa mansyon, wala namang ibang tao kundi si
Gabanni at ang isang kasambahay na kakakuha lang sa mga gamit niya. Mukhang
kararating niya lang din. I walked quietly because I don't wanna catch her
attention, my day was so good-I don't want her to ruin it.

Natanggap ko na sa sarili na hindi ko siya kailanman makakasundo, hindi kami

magkakalapit dahil malayo siya. Bukod sa hindi niya ako tanggap ay marami pa kaming
pagkakaiba.

Ayaw ko man makita niya ay tumama pa rin ang atensyon niya sa akin, hindi
nakalampas ang pagtaas niya ng kilay nang pasimple akong pasadahan ng tingin. I
didn't mind it, I just smiled slightly and held my bag tight as I walked towards
the grand staircase.

"Are you that sure about your boyfriend?" she asked before I could step up, the
hint of disgust was in her tone.

Kaswal ko siyang nilingon, medyo insulto. "What do you mean?"

She glanced at my chest part and sighed.

"You look so used, Pallavi. That's what I meant."

My forehead wrinkled, face heated as my blood boiled up. Medyo kabado rin na baka
napansin niya ang mga natakpang marka sa aking balat kaya ganoon na lamang ang
nasabi.

"We're not doing anything wrong, Gabanni," matigas kong sambit pero alam kong hindi
sapat na depensa iyon.

Ayaw ko lang pahabain pa dahil totoo naman, Chance and I are in a relationship,
there's nothing really wrong with what we're doing. Ang masama kung wala naman
kaming label at puro kalokohan na.

"Iyan na nga siguro ang nakuha mong kaugalian sa mga Villareal, hindi na ako
magtataka. Easy and quick, it runs in the blood, e?"

"Stop dragging Villareals here, Gabanni. Ang usapan ay nasa ating dalawa lang at sa
mga hinaing mong walang kuwenta," matalim kong sinabi.

Her brow raised. "Why are you so triggered? It's the truth about that family side
of yours. Your father is a rapist, just so you know. What am I expecting from the
daughter."

My heart raced violently, saglit akong natigagal sa kanya at hindi malaman ang
sasabihin dahil pinangunahan na ako ng sakit at kaguluhan sa isip.

Rapist? What the fuck is she talking about?

"Papa isn't a rapist!"

She nodded and smirked. "Okay, my bad. He was. People change, but time just passed-
he's still a rapist from the past."

Suminghap ako, naninikip ang dibdib sa sobrang sama ng pakiramdam bigla. Hindi ko
malaman ang sasabihin at paano dedepensahan ang sariling ama dahil ako mismo ay
hindi sigurado sa nakaraang pangyayari. Gabanni's years older than me, she probably
learned about what happened but seriously... Papa?

"Kung rapist siya at puro abogado kayo rito, bakit malaya siya at hindi kailanman
nakulong? Knowing you and the whole sect, you would never miss that case if it's
true! You're just making a story." I smirked even I feel uncomfortable. "Just to
remind you, you're a lawyer, Gabanni-not a freaking story teller."

I wanted to cry, I don't wanna believe her because Papa is a good man and a father.
He told me that before he knew Mommy, she's already married with a family but it
doesn't mean that he raped her! That accusation is fucking fake!

She smiled blankly. "Hindi ka ba nagtataka kung bakit lahat ayaw sayo? You were a
fruit of that mess but because Momny didn't wanna be a killer-she kept you and
raised you with us. I thought I could accept you but you're not acceptable,
Pallavi. You were a mistake! At ngayon, lalo mong pinatutunayan na iba ka talaga sa
loob ng pamilyang ito. You're so easy!"

"I don't believe you! Nasaan ang pruweba na rapist ang ama ko roon? Don't be so
damn stupid and tell me everything to prove your accusations! My fathet isn't a
rapist! You can keep on hating me but don't ever accuse my father like that!"
Her teeth gritted but she didn't talk, lalo pa akong nanggalaiti sa galit nang
magkibit balikat siya at talikuran ako. Sinundan ko agad siya at hinila sa braso.

"Hindi rapist si Papa!" matigas kong sambit at habang sinasabi iyon ay humihigpit
din ang hawak ko sa kanya.

Hinawi niya ang kamay ko at nakatanggap ako ng sampal mula sa palad niya.

"Don't touch me, easy girl. I don't need to prove you anything, I heard enough."

I blinked, I didn't mind her slap but it hurts along with everything she said.
Tinalikuran niya ako at diretsong umakyat sa enggrandeng hagdanan, hindi ako
makapagsalita. I was just hurting inside, I don't have anything to throw anymore
because I know that I'm still clueless about every little thing happened in the
past.

Hindi ako masyadong pinatulog ng gabing iyon pero hindi rin ako makaramdam ng antok
kinabukasan, Chancent went to our mansion to have our breakfast with my family. I
was clouded the whole time but I could manage to look normal, hindi ko maiwasang
sulyapan si Gabanni habang kumakain dahil talagang ginulo niya ang isip ko sa
lahat.

I can't believe she's all normal after what she told me last night, hindi man lang
nakaramdam ng konsensya. She doesn't really care about how I would feel, she
doesn't care about the pain she has given me.

Chance bid his goodbye to Mommy and Daddy before leaving the house, sumama ako sa
kanya na wala sa tamang liwanag ng araw ngayon.

"Are you okay, baby?" he asked when the stop light turned red.

Napakurap-kurap ako at nilingon siya, ngumiti na lamang ako at tumango.

"I'm good."

"You sure? You look pale today. Hindi ka ba nakatulog ng maayos kagabi?" malambing
niyang tanong habang nakatingin sa akin.

"Nakatulog naman, may tinapos lang ako na episode doon sa series na pinapanood ko
kaya medyo late na."

He inhaled and nodded, nagberde na ulit ang stop light kaya nagpatuloy siya sa
pagmamaneho.

Gustong-gusto kong tawagan si Papa at tanungin tungkol sa nakaraan nila, kung bakit
lahat turing sa akin ay iba at pagkakamali. Ang bigat-bigat kasi sa dibdib ng
lahat, hindi ko alam kung saan maniniwala. Sa sarili kong nagtitiwala na walang
rape na naganap o kay Gabanni na talagang may alam sa nakaraan.

It's fucking frustrating!

Pumasok ang sasakyan namin sa site, kapansin-pansin ang mabilis na construction

nito dahil unti-unti nang nabubuo ang towers ng condominiums. Kita rin kung gaano
kaabala ang bawat construce workers doon, ang dating lote lamang na walang kalaman-
laman ay kalaunang natatayuan ng matayog na gusali.

Bumaba saglit si Chance at hindi na ako sinama, I just watched him walk. He's
wearing a gray and black coat matched with his faded ragged jeans and sneakers.
Mahaba na ang buhok ni Chance, hindi tulad noong magkakilala kami na halos kalbo.
Ngayon ay nakamaintain na iyon sa faded sides at formal brushed up.

He went into the office with the foreman and some workers, nakikipagtawanan siya sa
mga iyon hanggang sa makapasok sa naturang opisina sa site. Ilang sandali lang
siyang nagtagal doon at lumabas na kausap si Heidden, tinatali ang kanyang mahabang
buhok na kalbo ang magkabilang gilid ngayon.

He's wearing a three piece suit today, seems like he just got out of their meeting.
Kalaunan nilang narating ang sasakyan at bumalik si Chance sa driver's seat habang
si Heidden ay diretso sa likuran. Tanguan lang ang batian namin parati kaya hindi
na bago pati ang presensya niya.

Chance started driving away, they were talking about the meeting that Heidden
attended earlier and I wasn't listening. I just rested my head on head rest and
closed my eyes, I'm not really in the mood but I wanted to take my boyfriend to the
airport since we won't see each other for two weeks.

Nakatulog ako sa oras na iyon at haplos ni Chancent sa aking pisngi ang gumising, I
purred sleepily and I got a kiss from him. Nasa labas siya ng pintuan ko kaya
mabilis akong umayos, we're at the airport now!

"Chance..."

I met his eyes and he flashed a gentle smile with a chuckle.

"Papasok na ako," aniya. "You can sleep again while Heidden's driving back."

I took a deep breath and sat up, he was looking at me gently.

"You sure, you're fine?" he sounds worried.

I forced a smile and nodded, medyo mababaw ang emosyon ko ngayon dahil sa mga
gumugulo sa isip at kasabay pa ng pag-alis niya. My heart was heavy with confusion
and questions.

"Yup! I'm good, kailangan ko lang talaga ng tulog siguro." Ngiti ko.

"Really, rest when you get home, okay?" he caressed my hair and kissed my lips
quickly. "I'm going in now."

I nodded and hugged his waist tightly, he embraced me back while shaking me and
chuckling gruffly. He feels so warm.

"Okay! Update me, ah!" I said.

I heard the other door open and Heidden slid in, Chancent grinned at him and nodded
as his goodbye while Heidden shrugged and saluted on him.

It took only minutes between us, reminding some things. Tuluyang umalis si Chancent
kalaunan, nakatingin lang ako at pinapanood siyang makapasok sa loob hanggang sa
hindi ko na siya makita.

Heidden cleared his throat. "Can we leave now?"

I sighed, resting my head on the headrest and nodded simply. Walang ibang salita ay
nagmaneho na siya paalis ng airport.

"Why are you so sad?" he asked while driving. "Chance will go back after a week or
two, he just needed to be with Tita Xinea because it's her birth month."

Tamad ko siyang nilingon, nakatingin lang siya sa aming daanan. Heidden's features
are sharper than Chancent's but they both have the same aura, intimidating and
strict. Kahit nakakasalamuha ko si Heidden sa mga lumilipas na buwan ay hindi pa
rin kami magkaibigan kaya nakakataka na kinakausap niya ako tuwing may patay na
oras sa pagitan namin.

"Alam ko, wala lang ako sa mood ngayon."

Nagtaas siya ng kilay. "Bakit ka pa sumama?"

"I want to take him to the airport, matagal ko siyang hindi makakasama." I
shrugged.

Natawa siya. "Two weeks, matagal? Mas matagal pa riyan ang mga susunod niyang
business trip."

Kumunot ang noo ko.

"What do you mean? Wala naman siyang nababanggit tungkol diyan."

Iiwan ako ni Chance para sa business trip?

Kunot noo niya akong nilingon.

"He's a businessman, Pallavi. What do you expect? He needs to attend business trips
to broaden the corporation."

Hindi ako nakapagsalita dahil alam kong posible iyon pero hindi ko inaasahan kung
kailan.

"So, iiwanan niya ako?"

He smirked soundly. "It's not literally a break up. He'd leave for his work."

I gasped and looked outside the window.

"Kailan?"

He shrugged. "I don't know. Maybe, this month and nexts... he ignored a lot of
trips and documents while staying here. He has a lot of projects in line since last
year."

My mouth dropped. "Seriously?"

He nodded without further explanation but I could understand the reason behind it.

I don't know what to think, I just don't like that news about his leave. Ayaw ko
siyang umalis, gusto kong dito lang siya o sa malapit. Why is it so hard to have a
businessman boyfriend? Clearly, he'll leave me for trips this coming months.

Naiisip ko na agad, ayaw kong mag over think pero hindi iyon maiiwasan lalo na't
magiging malayo pa yata ang mga trips na iyon.

"Chance told me to bring you to resto, hindi ka raw kumain nang maayos kanina," he
said calmly.

My stomach was growling but tolerable. I shook my head.

"I'm not hungry."

He nodded and maneuvered onto the parking area of Bon-Chon.

"I'm hungry..."

Damn, annoying as usual!

Wala akong nagawa kundi ang sumama sa kanya sa loob, gutom man ay hindi ako umaamin
dahil ayaw kong kumain. Makakakain naman ako sa bahay mamaya at wala akong gana
dahil sa nalaman.

Things and happenings are still running and twisting inside my mind that slowly
darkening. Our relationship isn't yet strong, I don't know if I'd be willing to
wait with a commitment because I don't wanna stress my mind thinking about him from
a far. I never liked Long Distance Relationship, it's a problem for me because I
always get paranoid.

Ngayon pa nga lang, hindi na ako mapakali na nasa Manila siya.

Heidden went back to our table with a pair of food, he put the first one in front
of me. I just sighed while watching him preparing my table, inabot niya ang kutsara
at tinidor sa akin na tinanggap ko naman pagtapos ay nilagay niya ang baso ng
pineapple juice sa tabi.

"Eat."

Umismid lang ako, he started eating his food and when I didn't; he looked at me
seriously, he raised a brow.

"I said, eat. I know you're hungry."

I furrowed my brows. "Paano mo nalaman?"

He laughed a bit.

"There you go, from your mouth exactly."

Suminghap ako at tinaliman siya ng tingin.

I got caught, okay.

Padabog akong nag-umpisang kumain, medyo naiilang pa ako dahil panay ang sulyap
niya kapag nahihinto ako na tila ba kailangan bantayan ang pagkain ko dahil baka
huminto ako.

"I'm not a kid, Heidden."

His lips twitched in amusement. "I think, it's the first time I heard you calling
my name."

"No, it's not." I shook my head.

Ilang beses ko na kayang nabanggit ang pangalan niya, hindi lang siguro talaga
malinaw noon dahil ngayon ay kaming dalawa lang naman at talagang nagkakarinigan.

He nods. "Ah, baka ngayon ko lang napansin."

I shrugged.

#UM24
#UM24

"Madalas ba siyang aalis sa mga susunod na buwan?" tahimik kong tanong kay Heidden
habang kumakain kami.

Nagkatinginan kami nang mag-angat siya ng mga mata mula sa kanyang pagkain. I
shrugged and puckered my lips.

"I mean, tuwing kailan ang balik niya?"

Nakakahiya at baka masabihan na naman ako ng clingy. Natural lang iyon sa

magkarelasyon, pero iiwasan ko na lang din para iwas init ulo.

"Depends. May mga trips na inaabot ng ilang buwan, one of the reasons why some
businessmen are single." He chuckled. "They're so busy."

"Hindi naman busy masyado si Chance, 'tsaka nasa isang lugar lang siya."

He nodded and took another spoonful of his food. "That's why he needs to be busy
again to do his job, he skipped a lot of trips and meetings. Nakaligtaan niyang
alagaan ang ibang hawak niyang hotels sa New York at Italy."

I could only sigh, I simply played the straw in my drinks. I don't want that,
seriously. I'm so immature when it comes to this situation, I never really liked
it.

"You need to understand it, it's for the future."

"But you're already rich! He has lots of money and I can work, we can share
together for the future!"

His lips sided along with his brow.

"You sure, you'll be together until the future, huh?"

I gasped in disbelief. "Why not? We planned it!"

Medyo may kaba akong naramdaman sa pag-iisip ng kinabukasan. Masyado pang malayo
ang future para sa amin at hindi permanente ang takbo ng oras kaya natatakot ako na
maglaho na lang bigla ang mga plano kasama siya.

He sighed.

"Future is infinite, you can't tell that just because you planned it together.
There would be a lot of struggles to come. Katulad niyan, ngayong magiging abala si
Chance sa business world-hindi ka na mapakali, paano pa sa mga susunod?"

I know, damn!

"I just really hate Long Distance Relationship, I don't think I can wait while
thinking about him." I pouted. "But I'll try!"

Iba naman iyon, e. LDR isn't my thing and I don't think it will be, I love Chance's
presence around me!

"You'll try? Paano kung hindi mo nga kaya?"

I blinked, hindi makasagot agad doon dahil wala akong makapang mga salita sa dila.
I feel suddenly blocked, paano nga kaya kung sa pagsubok ko ay hindi ko pala talaga
kaya?

I shrugged hesitantly. "Maybe we can take a break."

I think so? Well, it's a break for the better.

"Take a break like how?"

"Uhm..." I bit my bottom lip. "Break like for years?"

His lips parted as he sighed. "Seriously?"

I nodded. "Yes."

I'm thinking about myself here. Since I don't really wanna be problematic about our
Long Distance Relationship, I think we need to break up so there would be no stress
for me. I'll enter Law School, that's the only struggle I could accept first of
all! Hanggang sa makagraduate lang naman ako, ilang taon lang iyon. Abala rin naman
si Chance, mapag-uusapan iyon.

"That's too selfish." He shook his head.

I shrugged. "I really don't know yet, I'm not sure about my decisions. Siguro
nasasabi ko lang 'to dahil wala si Chance pero hindi ko talaga kaya. Ewan ko, ang
gulo ko." Tipid na natawa ako sa sarili.

Law School is my priority even before I met Chancent, and I don't wanna fail
anything even how much I feel out of it. Chance's absence will surely be my
weakness and I don't know how can I train myself to be good in Long Distance
Relationship.

Kailangan namin mapag-usapan ang tungkol dito pagbalik niya. Seryoso ito para sa
akin at ayaw ko talagang malayo siya.

I didn't wanna talk about my relationship with Chance again that created us another
topic about their construction when we slid into the car again. Babalik naman si
Chance at kami na lang ang mag-uusap tungkol doon, ayaw ko namang ma-judge ni
Heidden ang desisyon ko dahil halatang hindi siya sang-ayon sa lahat ng sinabi ko.

I don't know if he's just too matured in all aspects like Chance but I could see
the different shades of their way how to spread it. Heidden's insensitive while
throwing words while Chancent has healthier and safer way to advise.

"Anything else?" he asked.

It made me kinda curious how work rounds around the site, hindi kasi ako nagf-focus
noon sa kung paano iyon umiikot kahit madalas ako sa site.

"Bakit maalam si Chance sa ganoong trabaho? Nakakatulong din siya sa site, e."

I was curious, he knows how to work in construction and he seems pro.

"Chance studied Basic Engineering right after he graduated Entre so he could help.
Business is boring for him."

"Bakit iyon ang kinuha niya at hindi Engineering na lang kung boring?"
He shrugged. "He'll eventually follow his Dad's steps and take over everything. He
needs it."

I nodded understandingly and creased my forehead.

"And why did you take Engineering?"

He grinned a bit. "My Dad's Engineer, I just wanna know if it would entertain my
whole life and I'm here now..."

"You're enjoying it?"

"Yeah, it's tiring sometimes but really a good experience."

I just smiled and nodded. He glanced sideways and pursed his lips.

"And you'll take law to follow your family's chain?"

I nodded. "Yes."

"That's boring!"

"And very hard for me but I'll try to survive," I said.

That's really hard, though. I don't think it's boring, it's more stressing.

"Why, when you can cut the chain and turn left?"

Kunot noong nilingon ko siya. "What do you mean?"

He chuckled. "Take a scissor and cut."

"I don't get it!" I pushed out of frustration.

Kahit naiintindihan ko ay gusto kong marinig pa ang sasabihin at abiso niya, kung
malayo pa rin ba iyon kay Chance.

"Break the chain, break the rule and get what you want because it's you who decide
who you wanna be in the future... no one should dictate it." He smirked as if
everything's easy and positive.

"You really think it's easy, Heidden?" I asked in disbelief but I remained
balanced.

"Wala namang mahirap kung iisipin mong madali."

Hindi talaga ako makapaniwala. Siguro kaya siya ganitong magsalita ay dahil hindi
naman siya kabilang sa pamilyang mayroon ako, wala silang sinusunod gaya ng sa amin
upang mapanatili ang imahe nito.

"Kasi hindi naman talaga madali 'yon! I don't wanna be a disappointment in the
family! I am already a fruit of disappointment and unholy mess!" my heart ached
while stating myself inside the family.

"You don't wanna be a disappointment? Is it a disappointment to think about what

you want for yourself?" He shook his head. "No, it's not. It's happiness."

My lips separated while looking at him, I am so confused and lost around the
tendencies of everything.

Happiness using selfishness? Yes, that's what he meant.

"Hindi ba sinasabi ni Chance 'yan?" natawa siya.

"He's advicing me to take what I really want but he never told me to break anything
like you!"

He laughed. "That's just the same, read between the lines and observe his words. He
just doesn't wanna tell it directly because he's a man of steps. He wants to see
how you grow by yourself and that's not my forte. Nababagalan ako."

I flinched.

"I love his way more than yours, I wanna grow and take steps by myself!"

He raised a brow and glanced with a shadow of smirk on his lips.

"You just love his way because he's your boyfriend and I'm not!"

"Kailangan ba kitang maging boyfriend para magustuhan ang paraan mo?" kunot noo
kong tanong, medyo naguluhan at gulat din sa sa sarili kong naitanong.

Seriously? What's the point? This is too embarrassing!

He blinked and looked in front again as he shrugged.

"It depends."

My eyes widened shockingly. "Huh?"

Depends on freaking what? Nababaliw na ba siya?

"I'm kidding."

Napasinghap ako at umirap na lamang.

He dropped me home that afternoon, wala na kaming ibang napag-usapan kundi ang
trabaho lang at iyong tungkol sa pagbali ng batas sa aming pamilya. Hindi rin ako
makapaniwala habang natatanto ang lahat ng mga paalala at sinasabi ni Chance sa
akin, Heidden's clearly right about Chance's way to make me hear how he wants me to
break the rules in a silent way.

The following days happened fast and smooth, I appreciate how every day goes well
in school and home. Iyon lang ay hindi pa rin ako mapakali sa lahat ng nalaman kay
Gabanni, sa ilang beses kong nakakausap si Papa sa tawag ay hindi ko iyon maitanong
dahil natatakot ako at kinakabahan.

Did he really rape Mommy?

Magagawa ba talaga ni Papa iyon?

Ayaw kong maniwala pero parang hindi imposible na ganoon ang nangyari noon kaya
ganito na lang ang pag-ayaw ng mga Miramontes kay Papa at sa akin.

"I'm fine..." I said lazily.

Chance sighed. "Huwag masyado magpastress. Puwede kang magpahinga."

I nodded and looked at him on the screen.

"I'm just missing you around, Chance." I exhaled sadly. "Hindi talaga ako sanay na
malayo ka."

That's true, I couldn't sleep well thinking about him and the months ahead of us.
Nakumpirma ko sa sarili na hindi ko nga kaya ang LDR, I want us close while I'm
studying and he's working. Puwede naman siguro iyon, nagawa na nga niya ng isang
taon! He stayed in Davao!

He breathed out and his eyes darkened slightly.

"But you need to get used to it."

I creased my forehead, I didn't talk. Tumitig lang ako sa kanya, medyo iritado pero
alam ko ang pinupunto niya kaya hinayaan kong dagdagan niya iyon.

"Hindi ako parating nasa tabi mo, there will be times—"

"That you'll leave me for work?" I cut him off, my heart hurt at the thought.

Ilang araw na simula nang umalis siya at kasama sa bumabagabag sa akin sa tuwing
magkausap kami ang gusto kong mangyari kapag tuluyan siyang naging abala sa trabaho
niya sa malayo.

"Yes..."

I smiled sarcastically. "Na aabot ng ilang buwang hindi tayo magkikita?"

His jaw clenched but he nodded a bit.

Natawa ako at inayos ang mga libro sa lamesa.

"Sa tingin mo, kaya ko iyon?"

Why does he seem so confident about it? Hindi naman por que kaya niya ay kaya ko na
rin!

"What do you mean, Sileas?"

Pinagpatong ko ang mga libro sa gilid at tiningnan ulit siya sa screen ng MacBook.

"I don't like LDR, Chance. I will never like that kind of relationship," I admitted
casually.

"We can always do video call. I left so many works that I need to continue. Kung
wala, hindi naman ako lalayo. I just hope you understand those matters." He
massaged his nose bridge. "Little patience, baby. That's all we need."

Napailing ako sa inis, masyado siyang kalmado para sa problema ko! Hindi ko alam
kung bakit naiinis ako at nasasaktan sa parehong oras. I want him to stay.

"Ako ba naiintindihan mo? Hindi naman, 'di ba? Hindi nga ako sanay sa LDR at ayaw
ko noon!"

"That's why we'll do calls, you'll get used to it."

"No, Chancent. Pag-usapan na lang natin ito pagbalik mo. I cleared what I don't
like now, we need to talk—"

He raised a brow darkly. "Need to talk about break ups?"

Bumilis ang paghinga ko sa iritasyon at kinumpirma iyon ng aking pananahimik, he

chuckled scornfully.

"Nasaan ang mga napag-usapan natin? Long Distance Relationship isn't that bad if
you trust me... and yourself."

"Hindi naman iyon, Chance, e. Ang gusto ko lang, wala akong maging problema bukod
sa pag-aaral ko! If you'll leave me for work trips and what so ever, I'll be
paranoid and problematic! Malapit na akong mag law school, ayaw ko ng mga problema
sa ibang bagay."

He went silent while looking at me, umiwas ako ng tingin dahil sa pagbigat ng aking
dibdib.

My vision didn't pass Heidden's presence on the other table, meters away from mine
that I didn't notice the whole time. May kausap siyang babaeng Nursing student na
kaeskuwela ko rin. His hair was tucked behind ears messily, he's wearing a black
button down shirt—his coat was on the back rest of his couch.

Hindi raw nagdi-date sa mamahaling kainan? Anong ginagawa niya rito? Hmm, the girl
probably paid for their date here. Tapos na silang kumain doon at magkausap na
lang.

"Let's just talk when I get back, I don't want this here."

I shrugged it off simply and looked at Chance again.

"Why? Mas maganda nga na nagkakalinawan tayo tungkol dito, e. I said what I said,
nothing can change that fact. I don't like LDR, period," I said sternly. "Lalo na
kapag nasa law school na ako, hindi ako tatagal sa relasyong ganoon."

"You don't trust me, that's the truth," he countered. "I know that you don't wanna
be problematic about me from a far but if you really trust me—problems about it
will never block your mind."

I gritted my teeth. I get his point but still, no. Hindi maiiwasan iyon kahit gaano
ko pa siya pinagkakatiwalaan. Hindi iyon ang may hawak ng isip ko.

He looked away and sipped on his matte black tumbler, my heart was hurting while
seeing him as if he was all calm but he's hurting inside. I get his expressions, he
always looks away when he's hurt.

"I-I'm sorry, Chance..." I said lowly. "I just told you what I really feel about
LDR. I don't wanna lose myself while holding our relationship along with my goal in
law school."

He didn't look back, he nodded with a quiet sigh.

"I understand." His downed eyes went up to me again, it's dark and unreadable.
"We'll talk when I get back, okay?"

I nodded and bit my bottom lip, I'm fucking guilty but decided.

We ended the call after a few topics, alam kong nawalan siya ng ganang kausapin ako
ngayong araw kaya hindi ko na iyon pinatagal at nagpaalam na uuwi na lang muna para
lang mabigyan siya ng oras na hindi ako kausap. Mahirap din naman sa akin iyong
gusto kong mangyari dahil ayaw ko nang may pinanghahawakan sa malayo dahil doble
ang dating noon sa akin kung sakaling may marinig akong hindi magugustuhan.

One thing I learned about the relationship with Chancent; do not ever expect and
don't be always confident.

Relasyon namin ang nagturo noon sa akin dahil sa mga nangyayaring ganito at hindi
lahat ng bagay ay nasa atin lang parati, maraming tsansa na mawala iyon kahit hawak
mo pa nang mahigpit.

Huminga ako ng malalim pagtapos ng ilang minutong pagtulala sa laptop, binalikan ko

ng tingin ang lamesa nila Heidden pero wala na sila roon. I saw them exiting the
restaurant together.

I shrugged and rested my forehead on my laptop. My goodness, I need to calm my soul

down for hurting my man today. I inhaled deeply and took my cellphone to type a
message.

Ako:
I love you, Chance. I'm sorry for being like this. I won't force you to stay in
Davao for work but we can take a break from each other while being apart. Gusto ko
lang matapos ang pag-aaral ko na walang ibang problema pero hindi ibig sabihin noon
na hindi kita mahal.

I sighed heavily and rested my cheek on the table, I closed my eyes to calm my
hurting heart.

This is so hard but it was a good clarification between us.

Hindi ko alam kung ilang minuto akong tumagal sa pagpapakalma ng isip at puso ko
roon pero nang maramdaman ang pag-upo ng kung sino sa harapan ko ay napaangat ang
ulo ko at natagpuan ang mga mata ni Heidden sa akin.

I gasped out and sat up to scan the restaurant around before going back to him.

"What are you doing here?"

He shrugged while looking at me, weighing my mood. "Are you with your driver?"

I shook my head. "Itetext ko siya kapag uuwi na ako. Bakit?"

Sinulyapan niya ang plato ko sa gilid, tapos na akong kumain at nagpapalipas na

lang ng oras dito.

Nasaan kaya ang date niya?

"Good. Come with me." He stood up, holding his coat.

Kunot noo ko siyang tinaasan ng tingin.

"Where and why?"

"Save it and ask me questions in the car, Pallavi." He closed my MacBook and put my
books on top of it, he held them.

Suminghap ako sa pagkalito pero napatayo na rin ako nang mauna siyang maglakad dala
ang mga gamit ko, mabilis kong kinuha ang sling bag ko at sumunod sa kanya.
"Where are we going?" I asked while following him.

"Nasa sasakyan na ba tayo?"

I took a deep breath in irritation, he was walking simply but it seems faster than
me because he's tall with long legs to step. Nakasunod ako hanggang sa marating
namin ang sasakyan niya sa parking area, he didn't open the door for me and slid in
straightly on the driver's seat.

What a gentleman!

Hinagis niya ang coat sa likuran at inabot sa akin ang mga gamit ko, I frowned.

"Saan tayo pupunta?"

"Site."

Ngumiwi ako. "Anong gagawin doon? At nasaan ang date mo? Bakit ako ang sinasama
mo?"

He started driving away, he smirked at my questions.

"There's an elevator already. We'll try it," he chuckled. "How did you know about
my date? Were you checking us a while back?"

I scoffed. "We were in the same restaurant, it wasn't impossible to see you."

Elevator? Anong gagawin sa elevator kung mayroon na? Susubukan? Paano kung hindi pa
tuluyang ayos iyon, idadamay niya pa ako!

"At ayaw kong sumama sa elevator. Kung gusto mo, subukan mo iyong mag-isa! Huwag mo
na ako idamay at baka hindi pa tuluyang maayos iyon!"

"Tss, it's working so well." He looked at his wristwatch while maneuvering the
steering wheel. "But I want you to see the view on the 38th floor. It's amazing."

Kumurap-kurap ako.

"B-Bakit ako pa? Dapat iyong nurse na lang. Makikita ko rin naman iyon pagdating ni
Chance."

"Chance again. Then see it when he gets back," he said with a tone of irritation.
"You'll first see it with me today."

Kunot noo kong iniwas ang tingin sa kanya at sa labas ng bintana na lang tumingin.

Seriously, Heidden? What's with you today?

#UM25
#UM25

The building looked already fine, not yet fully furnished but it seems so strong.
Mangha kong ginagala ang tingin habang nakasunod kay Heidden patungo sa elevator,
he pressed a button and glanced at me as he waits.

When the door opened, I walked into the lift first.  I don't really know why I'm
here but since this is Chance's project, too, there's nothing wrong to visit and
roam around. Pumasok na rin si Heidden, bagong-bago ang elevator at salamin ang
haligi kaya kahit saan ako lumingon ay repleksyon namin ni Heidden ang kita ko.
I tucked my hair behind my ear and pursed my lips as our eyes met on the mirrored
door.

"You have good and fast workers. Parang kailan lang noong bakanteng lupain pa
ito... ngayon, may mga buildings na."

He nodded a bit. "Matatapos na rin."

I smiled slightly, inangat ko ang tingin sa kisame at ngumuso habang nag-iisip ng

tamang maitatanong. Kapag siya kasi ang kausap, parang kailangan lagi na filtered
ang mga salita dahil namamahiya siya.

"Who's gonna manage here? Si Chance ba?"

Sana si Chance para rito lang siya sa Davao, kaso mukhang malabo naman dahil ang
dami niya yatang hawak sa iba't ibang bansa.

"My brother, Heilder. Chancent's out of the choices here because he's already
handling four hotels around the world. Mainly, in New York."

Tumunog ang elevator at bumukas sa tamang palapag,  lumabas kaming dalawa sa

ganoong usapan.

"So, madalas siya sa New York?" kunot noo kong tanong.

He nodded. "Yeah."

Taga roon si Patch, posible na magkita sila roon kapag bumalik na si Chance sa main
hotels na hawak niya. I fucking hate that. Mas naparanoid tuloy ako, pakiramdam ko
ay lumala pa ang mga naiisip ko.

Kasing taas yata ng palapag na kinaroroonan namin ang lipad ng isip ko, nakakainis
na simpleng lugar lang naman ang nabanggit pero kakaiba ang dating sa akin. Doon
siguro nag-umpisa ang pagkakaibigan nila at naging malapit?

I know Chance assured me about their friendship but knowing that Patch likes him, I
don't think I can be neutral and positive about it.

A hit of wind on the rooftop was soothing as we went out, I inhaled it and looked
around. The view in front of us was so amazing and beautiful, I could see the
mountains from afar and the long bridge that's connected to the other side and
under it was a wide river with waterlily. The sun is setting down that gave us the
golden clouds above. Nang iikot ko pa ang paningin ay mas nakakamangha, parang
lahat ay kita ko mula rito kahit ang mga ibon at papalubog na araw sa likuran ng
kabundukan.

"Wow!" I lauded in amazement, my lips were apart.

I heard Heidden chuckle.

"Ang relaxing naman dito!" sabi ko at lumakad patungo sa terasa ng rooftop.

I heard his footsteps and settled on my left side while looking at the bright and
amazing view in front of us, too.

"Kapag ito ang penthouse ng building, bibilhin ko." Natatawa kong sinabi.

"Ito nga..."
Nilingon ko siya, nagtaas siya ng kilay.

"Kailan mo bibilhin?"

Huminga ako ng malalim. "Matagal pa, mga ilang taon pa."

Pagtapos ko mag law!

"Mauunahan ka na ng iba, siyempre."

I laughed. "Naisip ko rin 'yan! Kung ganoon man, hahanap ako ng ibang penthouse.
Basta gusto ko, ganito ang view."

"Tss..."

I inhaled and looked at the sunset again, I suddenly feel guilty and sad at the
same time because of what I told Chance earlier. I was so stressed, I don't know
how to calm my own mind about the days ahead of us. Iyon ang desisyon ko, e. It
might be selfish but I don't really wanna be problematic while studying.

It's my top priority. I'm in love with Chance but I can't bear failing school just
because of the issues in our relationship. I only wanna think about my studies
because it's also my weakness that I need to maintain. Sawa na akong maging maliit
sa pamilya, sawa na akong maging pinakamahina. Gusto ko namang magkaroon ng boses
kahit hindi malakas, basta naririnig.

The day went well, a bit... being on that rooftop with such view calmed my mind.
Heidden brought me home when the sun finally settled down and I really appreciate
his advices even some of his words were harsh. Iyon lang ang ginawa namin sa
rooftop, I told him about some of my worries when the time comes that I wouldn't
want another priority to handle and that's my relationship with Chance.

Chancent:
It's Mama's birthday. Can I call?

Huminga ako ng malalim at nagtipa.

Ako:
Sure.

Wala naman akong ginagawa ngayon at nagpapalipas lang ng oras sa cafe pagtapos ng
klase, I don't wanna go home yet because of Gabanni. Nagtalo na naman kami kagabi
sa hapagkainan, hindi ko na talaga maipinta ang trato niya sa akin. She talked shit
about Chance and our relationship again, I was out of mood that made me walk out of
the dining area.

Mabuti nga at hindi na iyon nadagdagan ng sermon ni Mommy. I'm hating Gabanni these
past few weeks, she's getting too much. Hindi talaga kapatid ang turing noon sa
akin, lalo pa akong naiinis kapag naiisip ang akusa niya kay Papa.

My iPad rang, Chancent's video calling. I fixed my hair before answering it and the
screen welcomed his face, he has his airpod in the right ear. He's wearing a white
shirt today and I couldn't help the sadness within me, I'm seriously missing him.

I smiled a bit. "Hi!"

He chuckled gruffly and his teeth showed up. "Hi, baby."

My heart drubbed, naglalakad siya at nakikinita ko ang ilang parte ng kanilang

bahay. He looked so fresh as his damp hair.

"Hindi ka pa umuuwi?"

I shook my head. "Nagpapalipas oras lang dito sa cafe, malapit sa university."

"Did you eat well?"

"Yup!"

He nodded and smiled. "Good, I'm going back after Mama's celebration."

That made me smile widely, pumangalumbaba ako at narinig ko na ang ilang boses sa
background.

"Oh, there's Arlow!"

Nakita ko ang pangungunot ng noo ni Chance.

"Nandito si Patch at Astrid, sumabay ka na sa pagkain!"

My eyebrows met in confusion and surprise along with my twisting heart.

Patch? What is she doing there?

"Hey, Chance!" it was Patch cheerful voice.

"Come on, let's eat!" batid kong iyon naman si Astrid.

I relocated on my seat while watching Chance, his forehead was crumpled and he
glanced at me quickly but I feel blocked. I don't know what expression I'm having
right now, I'm just so uncomfortable and irritated!

Anong ginagawa niya kila Chance? Nakikibirthday? Is she even invited or she just
invited herself in! Ginamit pa ang pinsan nila Chance!

"Mama..." he called as he walked again, he sighed quietly. "My girlfriend's on the

line."

"Oh, lemme see her!" her Mom was chuckling softly as Chance shifted the cam to his
Mom's face. "Good afternoon, hija!"

Wala akong magawa kundi ang maglabas ng pilit na ngiti kahit iba ang inis sa
sistema ko.

"Good afternoon, Mrs. Estrevillo..."

She waved her hand and laughed. "Stop calling me that, and start calling me Tita!"

She looked okay, though. She doesn't seem to have mental illness.

I forced a smile again and nodded.

"Okay, Tita. Happy birthday po."

She looked at me straightly while smiling.

"Thank you! I hope you could join us here next time!"

Natawa si Chance at dinampian ng halik ang sentido ng ina.

"Is that my cousin, Pallavi?" Patch asked from the background.

I almost rolled my eyes, I gritted my teeth using a smile. Sobrang inis ako pero
walang magawa dahil hindi naman ako kasing laya ni Patch na nagagawa ang lahat ng
pagsunod sa boyfriend ko!

Namilog ang mga mata ng Mama ni Chance.

"Magpinsan kayo ng girlfriend ni Chance? Wow!"

"Yes, Tita! Magkapatid po ang Papa niya at Mommy ko. I introduced them to each
other!"

The guts to bring that up! Para bang utang na loob sa kanyang nagkakilala kami ni
Chance! What the hell?

Chance has no reaction while his Mom looked amused and happy—talking with Patch. I
suddenly felt pathetic that they seem so close there, sa personal pa!

Sa sobrang inis ko ay pinatay ko ang tawag at mabilis nilapag ang iPad sa lamesa, I
gently massaged my temples while gritting my teeth in too much irritation. Para
akong maiiyak sa frustrations habang iniisip ang mga pinaggagawa ni Patch.

Chance called again, I was declining it. Inubob ko ang mukha sa lamesa bago
nakaisip ng gagawing aksyon. I took my cell phone and typed a message.

Ako:
What is she doing there, Chancent? It's fucking annoying! You know that she likes
you and yet you keep on hanging with her? Nandiyan pa sa bahay niyo!

Chancent:
I didn't know she's here. Answer my call.

Ako:
I don't wanna talk right now. Uuwi na ako.

My cellphone rang again, mabilis kong pinatay iyon at tinabi sa aking bag saka
inayos ang mga gamit ko. Sumasakit ang ulo ko kasabay pa ng pagsikip ng dibdib.

I wanted to text Patch and ask her what is she pulling this time but I don't wanna
start a fire with her, respeto na lang kay Tita Pate. Iyon na lang ang iisipin ko.

But damn it, she's annoying the hell out of me! Chance has a girlfriend now, can't
she understand that simple matter?! Lapit pa rin siya nang lapit! Hindi ba siya
nahihiya sa pagkadesperada niya?

"Uwi na po tayo," malamig kong sinabi sa driver pagkasakay.

Tumingin ang driver sa rearview mirror, mukhang alanganin. Hindi ko sana papansinin
kaso mukhang seryoso siya.

"Ano iyon, Manong?"

Napakamot siya sa ulo at huminga ng malalim.

"Utos po kasi ni Ma'am Gabbani na dalhin ka muna sa ibang lugar."

My forehead creased. "What!? Why would she do that?"

"E, b-baka gusto niyo po muna sa mall o kahit saan, Ma'am Sileas—"

"Bakit nga niya inutos iyon?" iritado at medyo mataas na boses kong tanong.

Mukha na siyang kabado pero determinado sa utos ni Gabbani.

"Naroon daw po kasi ang mga tiyahin at tiyuhin ninyo, M-Ma'am."

My chest heaved, I blinked my eyes and looked away. My heart hurt so much, naghalo-
halo ang lahat ng inis ko at pait ngayong araw. Tumulo ang luha ko at agad iyong
pinalis, I looked at the driver again and smiled a bit.

"Maghintay ka na lang dito, babalik ako sa coffee shop at doon magpapalipas ng

oras." Binuksan ko ang pinto at bumaba nang tuluyan.

Pumasok ako ulit sa coffee shop para roon lang dumaan at makalabas sa kabila.
Sobrang sikip ng dibdib ko, I can taste my own blood while biting my bottom lip. I
feel so frustrated and angry by everything's happening just today, pakiramdam ko ay
pinagtutulungan ako ng lahat para masaktan.

I wiped my tears and took a cab until Estrevillo's site, walang gana akong nagbayad
at bumaba. Iilan na lang ang tao roon at wala namang nakikialam sa akin kapag
dumarating dahil kilala na nila ako.

"Ma'am, wala pa ho si Ser Chance!"

"Alam ko," iritado kong sinabi sa pumuna sa akin at nagdiretso pa rin ako sa
paglalakad.

I went into the first building and rode the elevator until the last floor, hindi pa
rin nawawala ang galit at poot na nararamdaman ko at parang lalo lamang iyong
nagiging mainit sa loob ng dibdib ko.

I fucking hate how I seem pathetic anywhere.

My lips trembled as I went out of the elevator and being welcomed by the cold wind
up here. It's frustrating that I couldn't feel the comfort. I inhaled deeply and
looked at the peaceful view while walking towards the edge, I rested my hands on
the terrace as my tears began to fall down.

The wind blew again, embracing me that made me cry in vain.

"I hate every Miramontes who hates me!"

"I hate you, Gabbani! You fucking bitch!"

"I hate you, Mommy!"

"I hate you, Papa!"

I was screaming my pain out freely, alam ko namang walang nakakarinig sa akin kahit
iyong mga trabahador. This is the best place to scream and cry all the pain beneath
my chest.

"I just hate everyone today!"

I was crying so loud that I haven't done before, it was a bit calming but my heart
is still caged with pain and anger. Hindi ko alam kung kailan ako pakakawalan ng
sakit na nararamdaman ko pero sana matapos na ito dahil ayaw ko nang umiyak.

I'm not sure how many hours I've been pouring my tears out but I could feel the
heaviness of my eyes now. Naupo ako sa lapag at tinakip ang mga palad sa aking
mukha, my shoulders were shaking. I wanted to stop crying but I can't, I'm so
fucking hurt.

Kahit gaano kaganda ang buhay na binibigay sa akin ay hindi noon matatabunan ang
mga sakit na pinaparamdam ng presensya ko sa pamilya. Parang maling-mali na
pinanganak ako, they couldn't even give me a chance to prove myself. They're hating
me for existing caused by the unholy mess of my parents!

How can I move inside the family like that? Sinusubukan ko naman pero ang hirap
talaga kapag mula sa pagkakamali, e. Parang lahat ng inaasahan nila sa akin ay
magiging mali na.

"Pallavi?"

I sobbed and took a deep breath when I heard Heidden's confused voice, I didn't
talk. I forced myself to stop crying, narinig ko ang mga yabag niya hanggang sa
maramdaman ko siya sa aking harapan.

I saw his sneakers and I know that he sat down in front of me, he sighed heavily.

"Are you okay?"

Tago pa rin ang mukha sa mga palad ko ay marahan akong tumango, I rested my
forehead on my knees and sobbed.

"Really?"

I slowly looked up to see him and I saw him watching me with furrowed thick brows,
my lips trembled and I shook my head.

"I-I'm not okay today, leave me alone," my voice was shaky.

His brows furrowed more, he pursed his lips and sighed softly.

"Magdidilim na, kailangan mo nang umuwi."

I glared. "I don't wanna go home!"

"Tss, this building has no lights yet. Hindi ka na puwede rito hanggang sa
magdilim."

"Fine!" I angrily stood up, he just looked up to watch me. "Whatever!"

Tumayo rin siya at nagbuntong-hininga habang nakatitig sa akin.

"Fine, stay here. I'll just bring you a flashlight. Baka kung saan-saan ka pa
mapunta."

Hindi ako nagsalita at kinuyom lang ang mga kamao ko dahil alam kong puno ng galit
ang mga lalabas sa bibig ko oras na magsalita, nilampasan na niya ako para tumungo
sa elevator. I slowly turned around to look at him, I found his serious eyes on me
as the elevator closed.

I gasped and sat on the ground again, kusang nanlalabo ang mga mata ko sa
panibagong pagluha.

Kung kagagalitan at pagkakaitan lang pala ako sa puder ng Mommy ko, bakit niya pa
ako kinuha? Is that her revenge on Papa? Ako ang pinagbuntungan ng lahat, ganoon ba
iyon? Kinuha niya ba ako para sa akin mapunta ang galit kaysa sa kanya na totoong
may pagkakamali?

Heidden went back after minutes, nilapag niya ang flashlight sa tabi ko at naupo
rin.

"Why you don't wanna go home yet?" he asked quietly.

I was staring blankly at the darkening wide sky, I shrugged.

"I just hate home."

"Where are you planning to sleep, then? Here?"

"Hindi ko alam. Basta, ayaw kong umuwi."

"Did you inform Chance about this?"

"No, why would I?" I said irritably. "He didn't even inform me that Patch was in
their house earlier!"

See? I couldn't control the words coming out! I shouldn't have told that!

"Are you jealous of your cousin?" he asked with a hint of sarcasm.

"Kasi may pagseselosan naman talaga!"

"Hmm..."

I turned my head on him and glared.

"Hindi mo ba alam na may gusto siya sa pinsan mo?"

His lashes moved as he blinked, he smirked.

"Ngayon, alam ko na."

"You seriously don't care?" I gasped in disbelief.

"Since the day she broke up wit' me for real, the day I also cut everything in
between," he said. "If she likes Chance, I don't care and I will never care
anymore. That's her life."

"But he's your cousin!"

Nagtaas siya ng kilay, mula sa kalangitan ay nilingon niya ako.

"What do you want me to do? Awayin si Chance dahil may gusto si Patch sa kanya?"

Hindi ako nakapagsalita.

"Patch likes him, that's not Chance's fault." 

Lalo akong nafrustrate.

"What will I do to stop Patch, then? Kasi inis na inis na ako sa mga ginagawa
niyang pagsunod kay Chance! I can't believe she's that desperate!"

"Halos lahat naman nagiging desperado sa bagay na gusto nila." Ngumisi siya. "You
can't do anything to stop that, all you need to do is trust your partner and wait
who'll click the bait."

I gritted my teeth. "You're frustrating me more!"

Humalakhak siya. "You know how ideal Chance is, hindi lang si Patch ang
nagkakagusto sa kanya."

"I know but... damn it! Patch should know her limits! At wala ba siyang kahihiyan?"

He shrugged. "Stop stressing yourself over some people."

Umiling-iling ako. "Hindi mo kasi nararamdaman ang pakiramdam ko, e. I've been so
stressed these past few weeks, ang dami-daming nagpapasama sa loob ko at dumadagdag
pa roon ang ex girlfriend mong desperada!"

"Just trust yourself, if you know your value—you wouldn't feel insecure and worried
about anything. That's the first rule."

My lips parted, I gasped and shook my head while looking at him and he just
smirked. Napairap ako at padabog na iniwas ang tingin sa kanya.

Nakakainis, bakit ba kailangan laging may punti siya at nakakahiya na tinatabunan

noon ang mga gusto kong ipunto.
#UM26
#UM26

Mommy:
Where are you?

Mommy:
You're making us worried. Hindi ka man lang makapagtext kung nasaan ka? Hindi ka pa
matawagan.

Mommy:
Sileas, I am warning you. Answer my damn calls and tell me where you are exactly!

Iyon ang sunod-sunod na mensahe nang buksan ko ang cell phone. Marami pang text
doon mula kay Gunther, Papa, Tita Fili at Chance.

Tita Fili:
Nak, kung may problema ka, puwede mo akong mapagsabihan. Ilang oras ka na raw wala
sa inyo at hindi pa umuuwi gabing-gabi na. May nangyari ba?

Papa:
Where are you? I'm gonna book a flight there.

Tanging text lang ni Papa ang sinagot ko, ayaw ko siyang abalahin pa sa pagpunta
rito. Wala namang nangyaring masama sa akin at sa totoo lang, dadagdag lang iyon sa
sama ng loob ko.

Hindi ko tanda kung anong oras na ako nakauwi pero umaga na iyon, inihatid ako ni
Heidden sa village kaya hindi ko na kinailangan tawagan o itext ang driver para
magpasundo. Wala rin naman akong balak.
I just spent the whole night at the rooftop until the sky turned cold blue, I was
comforting myself in mind. Ang sama-sama ng loob ko, puno ng maraming insecurities
at pait. Heidden left me for minutes and brought me food and drinks for breakfast,
we were just talking about random stuff and eventually went silent—after eating, I
decided to go home. Just like that, I didn't feel alone with Heidden.

It was peaceful, some realization really dawned me. I just want a peaceful life and
ambiance everywhere, I don't wanna taste bitter days anymore. Gusto kong mawalan ng
pake para hindi na sumama ang loob ko ulit.

"Hindi ka ba nag-iisip?" iyon ang bungad ni Mommy nang nasa hapagkainan na para sa
umagahan.

I only had two hours of sleep and back to reality, I need to go to my class today.

I didn't talk, I continued eating.

"What time did you go home? Six? Without telling us where did you stay up all
night? I even called Chance and knew that you weren't answering his calls, too."

Hindi pa rin ako sumagot, matunog niyang binaba ang mga kubyertos. Gabbani and
Gunther were just listening, one of them was silently mocking me.

"Where did you stay at?" Mommy asked sternly. "Who are you with? Hindi ako
maniniwala kung idadahilan mo ang mga kaibigan dahil tinawagan ko sila para alamin
iyon."

I pursed my lips, I'm just so tired of everything since yesterday and today. Can't
she let this pass?

"Mahirap bang sagutin ang tanong ko?"

Gabbani smirked soundly. "Baka may iba ng boyfriend? Wala ang boyfriend niya, ilang
linggo na. Hindi siguro nakatiis."

I threw her a cold glare. "Will you shut the fuck up?"

Namilog ang mga mata nila sa biglaan kong pagsasalita, Gabbani gasped in disbelief
while looking at me. Akala niya siguro ay pangungunahan pa rin ako ng takot na
magsalita ng ganoon sa harapan nila.

Why would I? They can't even see my situation, they can't feel how they're making
me feel inside this home!

"Sileas Pallavi!" Mommy's voice thundered.

Padabog kong binaba ang mga kubyertos ko at tiningnan si Mommy.

"I wanna move out of here, let me live with P-Papa or let me just live alone in a
dorm. Basta, ayaw ko na rito," matigas kong sinabi. "Ayaw na kitang kasama, lalo na
si Gabbani. I can just live without you! Sawang-sawa na ako sa bahay na ito! You're
making me feel so out of place, that I shouldn't be here whenever the other Aunties
and Uncles are here because they don't like my presence!"

Parang ako palagi ang dapat mag-adjust kahit anak naman ako. Ang sakit maging
kakaiba sa isang pamilya, normal naman ako pero kung ituring ay parang may sakit na
nakakahawa.

I started crying. "Bakit, ginusto ko ba iyon? Pinili ko ba rito? Hindi naman,

Mommy! You did that whatever you're all calling a "mistake", bakit ako ang nagsa-
suffer sa kasalanan niyo ni Papa? Bakit sila sa akin galit? Pinanganak mo lang
naman ako! Ang hirap-hirap makisama sa pamilya mo! Matatalino nga kayo pero wala
namang pakiramdam!"

I stood up immediately while crying, Mommy was glaring but I didn't mind the fear
within me. I said what I said, I said my pain out and they should know that I'm so
tired of being here!

"If you don't like me, let me live with Papa! Doon, tanggap ako ng mga Villareal!
Kahit iyong si Tita Fili? Tinuturing akong tunay na anak, e, dito? Hindi!" galit na
umiling ako at matalim na tiningnan si Gabbani. "Are you happy now? Go tell Mommy
to let me, push her to do that so you wouldn't have to call my driver to drive me
around while the family's here, para wala ka nang naiinsulto at para wala ka nang
kapatid na anak ng rapist!"

Mommy stood up, her eyes were wide open. Napatayo rin si Gabbani na tila hindi
inaasahan ang mga hinaing ko. Nakita ko ang paglipat ng tingin ni Mommy kay
Gabbani, gulat at galit ang ekspresyon.

"You told her that!?" her voice thundered with anger.

"Isn't that the truth?" Gabbani countered. "Totoo naman, 'di ba? Alam kong hindi mo
ginusto iyon, Mommy! The law states it!"

Mommy's eyes were teary, hindi makapagsalita at hindi ko na alam ang iisipin ko
dahil tila kumpirmasyon na ang hindi niya pagsasalita ukol doon. I cried more and
shook my head in disbelief, I can't believe them! Now I'm disgusted by the truth.

I took my sling bag and ran away, Gunther was quick to follow me outside.

"Sileas!" he called.

"Please, I wanna be alone, Gunther!" mabilis akong sumakay sa sasakyang nakaparada

at nakaabang naman ang driver.

Nagbuntong-hininga si Gunther at tinanguan ang driver na nakatingin sa kanya at

nag-aabang ng permiso. I was crying, I don't think I can go to school today.

Ayaw ko na rin kay Papa, hindi ko siya kayang kausapin ngayon sa nakakadisgustong
katotohanang iyon. Seriously? Kaya pala ganoon na lang ang galit sa akin ng lahat!
He raped Mommy, hindi pa ako makapaniwala na binuhay pa rin ako ni Mommy sa kabila
ng lahat.

Nagpababa ako sa university at sinabihan ang driver na umuwi na lang, I didn't

enter the school and just walked until the coffee shop to spend my time there.
Kahit may ilang tumitingin sa aking luhaang mukha ay hindi ko alintana, my mind was
so clouded with pain and anger. Nagsama-sama na ang lahat pati ang pagkamuhi.

My cell phone rang while I was staring outside the glass wall with cars and people
passing by, I answered when I saw Chance's name.

"C-Chance, please, go back." I cried quietly. "I need you..."

I fucking need to breathe from everything, I need Chance... I want him here with me
and tell him everything I'm feeling now. I'm so hurt and he's the only one I can
hold and be with now.

"Pal, Chance' left his phone here. Nandiyan na ba siya?"

My heart got stunned as I heard Patch' voice on the other line, I was slowly
breaking more into pieces.

"Uhm, baka kasi may importante siyang files dito. Hindi pa ba kayo magkasama kasi
kanina pa siya nakaalis para sa flight pabalik diyan." She chuckled.

My forehead creased and my heart crumpled badly.

"M-Magkasama kayo kanina?" mahina kong tanong, hindi ko ginusto pero nakakapanghina
talaga.

Sama-sama na kasi, bakit ganito?

"Uh, yes, I drove him to the airport! Ngayon ko lang napansin na naiwan niya ang
cell phone niya."

I gasped out and looked away with tears running down my cheeks. I chuckled.

"Hmm, good for you both. I hope you get along well now that we're not together
anymore, dream come true, 'no?" I quickly ended the call and cried on the table.

My mind is in a fucking mess now—I'm so fucking angry, sad, tormented and hurt. I
breathe with pain, my heart cries over everything and I will never forget this day!
Never.

Ilang minuto akong pinapatay ng bawat pakiramdam ko, sa kahit anong anggulo ay
hindi ako mapakali dahil mahapdi ang bawat sulok para sa akin. I spent more hours
at the coffee shop before my tears dried up and I decided to ignore the what if's,
my mind was strangling me...

I went straightly to the site and was greeted by the construction workers.

"Magandang tanghali, Ma'am!"

I just nodded. "Break time niyo?"

"Opo, Ma'am!"

"Si Heidden?"

Nagkatinginan sila sa hinanap kong pangalan at tumuro sa kabilang banda ng site,

Heidden was drinking a water while pointing something on the upper part of the
building—he was talking with the foreman.

I pursed my lips and walked closer to the area and his eyes found me quickly, he
turned around to scan the place. Kumunot ang noo niya at tinapik ang balikat ng
kausap bago ako nilapitan.

"Ang aga mo naman dito," puna niya agad at pinasadahan ako ng tingin.

I shrugged normally and smiled a bit.

"I just wanna go somewhere today, I didn't attend my class."

Nagtaas siya ng kilay kasabay ng sulok ng labi na tila natatawa sa sinabi ko pero
pinigilan.

"Is that really coming from you?"

"It's not bad to break some rules..."

"Sometimes," he added. "What's up with you?"

I sighed heavily and rolled my eyes. "I'll just spend my time at the rooftop.
Thanks!"

His bottom lip extruded while weighing me, marahan siyang tumango sa akin at
nagkibit balikat. That's what I was waiting for, I walked into the building and
went straightly into the lift.

I gently hit my chest twice while forcing myself not to cry, I exhaled slowly to
calm my nerves and constricting heart. Hindi ko na alam kung anong uunahin kong
isipin sa lahat ng nagparamdam sa akin ng sakit sa isang araw lang, mas sumakit pa
dahil ang nag-iisa kong inaasahan na magpapagaan ng kalooban ko ay siya ring
nananakit sa akin sa oras ng pangangailangan ko sa kanya.

I hate him so much, for making me feel this bad and lonely in the middle of the
mess in my mind and heart. I could barely hear my good voice, it's screaming all
about anger and pain.

While spending my time sitting on the ground and staring at the wide sky in front,
I heard footsteps behind. Alam ko namang si Heidden iyon, he sat down on the same
ground—just beside me and he exhaled.

"You got scolded?" he guessed.

Umiling ako. "Hindi naman."

"Umaga ka nang umuwi kanina, hindi imposibleng napagsabihan ka."

"Hindi nga pero wala lang iyon."

"Bakit hindi ka pumasok sa klase mo?"

I shrugged. "Gusto ko lang. Tinatamad ako at inaantok, baka makatulog lang ako sa
klase."

"You can't sleep here at this kind of time, mainit dito."

"Do you have an office here? Air-con?" nilingon ko siya.

"Tss, it's also Chance's office. But yeah, if you wanna rest there—you can. Kukunin
ko lang ang blueprints."

I chuckled and nodded, tumayo na siya kaya sumunod ako hanggang sa elevator. He
talked about the project, malapit na palang matapos ito pero marami pa ring
kailangan asikasuhin at ayusin.

Nakatingin sa amin ang ilang trabahador na nadaanan habang papunta sa opisina nila
sa kabilang building naman iyon, I don't really care how they look confused seeing
us together. Wala akong pake kung anong isipin nila, wala na kami ni Chance para
mag-isip pa sila ng masama. Though, they're not informed about us. Naiintindihan ko
naman na parang takang-taka sila kapag magkasama kami ni Heidden.

Narating namin ang office nila, nakapasok na ako dito noon pero hindi naman talaga
namamalagi si Heidden sa loob kapag binibisita ko si Chance.
Tss, I don't wanna think about him anymore. Dagdag lang siya sa problema kong
pampamilya. Tama lang na magsama sila ni Patch... my mind couldn't stop working to
think that I should hurt him the way how he did.

I looked at Heidden who was busy finding some papers on the table.

"Saan ako matutulog dito? Sa sofa?" turo ko sa sofa.

Mula sa hinahanap ay tumingin siya sa akin.

"Yes, if you want to sleep in a bed. You should go into Chance's unit and sleep
there."

I glared at him. "We're not together anymore, stop mentioning him."

His brow arched as he chuckled.

"I don't wanna say anything about it."

I bit my lips and walked towards him, kumunot ang noo niya sa paglapit ko pero
nagpatuloy sa paghahanap doon sa folders. My heart was drubbing nervously but I
wanted to do this to get my payback, I pulled his arm forcefully and kissed him.

I'm sure Chancent and Patch have done this together behind me.

My lips trembled against him, Heidden didn't kiss back nor pull away that made me
hold on his shirt to pull him down for better angle. Fuck! I don't feel anything
special but I feel comforted in mind that I kissed another man.

My chest rocked hardly as I heard the door opened, ilang boses ng nag-uusap na agad
ding nahinto nang makita kami. Heidden was calm as he straightened up and looked at
the men on the doorway, kabado naman akong lumingon sa mga iyon at halos mamutla
nang makita ko ang pinsan at kapatid niya.

"Heidden, what the fuck?" Heilder hissed and walked quickly towards us to pull me
on the side as if he was trying to cover everything up.

And I understood the move when I saw Chance approached the doorway and it was
already late to cover, nangunot ang noo niya at agad nilingon si Heidden na kalmado
lang doon at tila inaasahan na ang maaring mangyari. Tahimik si Racksle na umalis
ng opisina at tinanguan naman ni Heilder si Heidden bago lumabas.

Chance walked with a controlled emotion and expression, his forehead was creased.
My heart was beating so fast, I couldn't feel the guilt within me but his
appearance made me wanna hurt him more.

"Really, Heidden?" he said sarcastically, clenching his jaw with fisted hands.

Heidden didn't talk, I was so out of words but I'm already here. Wala namang
magagawa ang nerbyos ko ngayon dahil nangyari na kahit hindi ko inaasahan, ang
nakakahiya lang para sa akin ay nasaksihan ng kapatid at pinsan nila. However, it
comforted me to see how it hurts Chance. That's just right! I'm already in a mess,
I just made it unholy... now, to prove everyone that I am the image they hate since
I existed. I'll prove them right because no one really believes in me, I tried
everything to be good but they always see me bad.

"Really, Chance!" I said sternly. "We're not together anymore now, I can kiss
whoever I want!"
His jaw dropped as he turned to me, his brow furrowed and eyes were teary in pain
and anger.

"I'm not fucking informed, Sileas!"

"Now, you're informed. We're not together anymore, you have no right to be mad!
You're matured enough to understand what I said, right?" I smirked.

Hindi ko na siya hinintay magsalita pa at nilisan ang opisina, nagmamadali akong

lumakad palabas at nakita ko si Racksle at Heilder doon na parehong napatingin sa
akin. I stopped my tears and walked away without minding the looks they gave me.

"Sileas!" sigaw ni Chance habang sinusundan ako.

Kahit nasasaktan ako sa nagawa ko sa kanya ay wala na akong pake, gusto ko lang
gawin iyon para malaman niyang hindi lang siya ang may kayang manakit sa akin gamit
ang pinsan ko. Magsama silang dalawa!

He pulled my wrist and I wriggled harshly.

"Mag-usap tayo," he hissed and pulled my wrist again.

I pushed and slapped him hardly, muli ko siyang tinulak sa dibdib.

"Wala tayong dapat pag-usapan," matigas kong sinabi.

His lips were apart, I saw how his cheek turned red and eyes darkened more with
pain and madness. His jaw clenched repeatedly as our eyes met.

"You fucking kissed my cousin, and you're the one who has the fucking guts to hurt
me even physically?" he asked sarcastically in controlled voice.

Tears promptly fell down my cheeks, mabilis kong pinalis iyon at matalim siyang
tiningnan.

"Saktan mo rin ako, gumanti ka!"

His eyes weakened while staring at me, my heart cried more at the sight of his
painful eyes and expression.

"D-Do you like him?"

I can't believe his question, kumirot lalo ang puso ko.

"You shouldn't care from now on, Chance... don't ever follow me, I wouldn't think
twice to hurt you again," malamig kong sinabi bago siya iwanan doon.

I wiped my lips and cried as I went into the cab, I didn't like what I've done but
what's done is done... that's the unholy mess I could ever proved. I will confess
that so they'd be more disappointed in me, who wouldn't be? I kissed the cousin of
my boyfriend, my father was a rapist and I'd fucking fail their expectations now.

They call me unholy mess, I'll prove them right.

#UM27
#UM27

Bago pa makarating ng bahay ay tinuyo ko na ang luha, I'm still so mad and hurt...
lonely and damn stressed. I don't know how to end this day, I just wanna start
hurting and failing every expectations—including myself.
I've been expecting assurances, in all aspect, to make the family proud so I'd have
a voice to them after doing what they want but everything suddenly went black.
Ganoon siguro talaga kapag napapagod na at kahit napapagod ay walang matanggap na
kahit ano, I wasn't expecting to be titled inside the family—I just wanna be
noticed, I just wanna be visible.

They have eyes but they can't see me, they have senses but they never used it on
me. They are a bunch of numb people.

Lalo pa akong emosyonal nang makitang tahimik ang mansyon at tanging ilang
kasambahay ang naiwan, ibig sabihin noon ay wala talaga silang naging pakealam sa
akin at nagpatuloy ang kanilang araw na tila walang nangyari.

"Ma'am Sileas, nakauwi na po pala kayo..." sambit ng nakakitang kasambahay sa akin.

I ignored her and went upstairs with my shaking emotions, nagkulong ako sa kuwarto
buong araw at nakatulog na lamang sa kaiiyak at sama ng loob. I woke up at eight in
the evening and checked my cell phone, may mga mensahe roon mula sa iba-ibang tao
at hindi kilalang numero.

Text ni Heidden ang kumuha ng atensyon ko.

Heidden:
Felt better?

I inhaled and ignored the text, may mga text pang mula kay Patch pero diretso kong
binura dahil wala akong balak magdagdag ng galit sa dibdib ko. I also received an
email from Chancent that I didn't expect, it made my heart jump.

From: Chancent Arlow

Talk to me.

My eyes heated, kanina pa iyong hapon. Wala akong balak kausapin siya dahil masyado
pang sariwa ang sugat sa puso ko mula sa lahat ng nangyari. Tumulala ako sa kisame
ng silid, naiisip ang nagawa kanina. I fucking hate how I used Heidden to hurt
Chancent, it was a wrong and bad decision but it already happened.

I don't need to explain myself. Kung anong nakita nila, iyon na iyon. That was my
damn choice to kiss Heidden so I could create a mess in between, I used it to cover
my pain and anger but it didn't make me feel any better. Wala lang, parang ginawa
ko lang iyon para may ganti.

"Miss Pallavi, gising na ho ba kayo?"

Nilingon ko ang saradong pinto ngunit hindi nagsalita, nanatili ako sa pagkakahiga
at muling tumingala sa kisame.

"Miss Pallavi, pinatatawag na po kayo ni Ma'am Gabanna para maghapunan."

Hindi ko alam pero sarkastiko ko iyong pinabulaanan.

"Sige..." kalmado kong sinabi.

I stared more at the ceiling for minutes before I decided to go downstairs, tahimik
akong naglakad patungong dining area. I was surprised when I saw Chance there, with
them.

How fucking funny that I could feel his care more than anyone in the area right now
—his presence makes me feel so soft and warm, my knees trembled a bit as our eyes
crossed. Hindi ko pinahalata ang gulat sa kanyang presensya at kaswal na tinungo
ang upuan, sa tabi ni Gabbani.

"What are you doing here?" I asked Chancent while sitting casually. "You're not
welcome, anymore."

I'm still mad at him, he should've let the day pass! 'Tsaka bakit pa siya nagpunta?
What I did was unacceptable and unforgivable!

"Pallavi..." Gunther sighed.

I smirked a bit and shrugged. "Stop being pathetic, Chance. You saw me kissing your
cousin, clearly. There's nothing to fix now, it doesn't have a justification!"

There you go, I wanted them to know what I did. Ayaw ko man aminin pero heto ang
gagawin ko para mapansin ngayon. Makikita na siguro nila ako ngayon.

Kapwa gulat ang mga reaksyon nila Mommy nang balingan ako ng tingin, agad kong
nakita ang disappointment at disgusto nila.

"If you think we didn't break up then, that's cheating... so, what do you wanna
talk about? I don't have an excuse, I did that because I wanted to."

"Anong pinagsasabi mo, Sileas?" alma ni Mommy sa mariing tinig, tila nawalan ng
gana sa pagkain.

I shrugged. "I cheated on him. We're not together anymore, Mommy. Kaya hindi ko
alam kung bakit pa 'yan nandito."

Chance was just looking at me, his eyes were darkly unreadable right now but I
could see how he's collecting himself to be casual. My heart hurt, iniwasan ko siya
ng tingin at nasalubong ko naman ang matalim na tingin ni Mommy.

"I told you, it runs in the blood of Villareals—her family. You should've let her
go with them, mas bagay siya roon kaysa rito!" Gabbani spat, gritting her teeth.
"They're all disgusting with poor class lifestyle!"

Natawa ako at tumayo, wala pa mang nauumpisahan sa pagkain ko ay kinuha ko ang baso
ng tubig at sinimsiman iyon ng kaunti bago marahang binuhos sa ulunan ni Gabbani.

"You're right, Gabbani, because I'd be your fucking evil sister eventually..."

Suminghap si Gabbani at napatayo, nilapitan siya ng isang kasambahay para bigyan ng

tissue pero hinawi niya iyon at tiningnan ako.

"How dare you!" she shouted and pulled my arm.

I wriggled and pushed her that made her stumble, I was so mad and I don't care
who's gonna be hurt. Halos mapatili siya nang muntikang mabuwal sa pagkakatulak ko.

"Sileas!" tumayo si Mommy at agad akong nilapitan para hilahin. "What are you
doing?! Why are you being like this!?"

Nakatayo na rin si Daddy para alalayan ang anak niya habang si Mommy ay hinila ako
sa braso. Pilit kong binawi ang sarili mula sa kanya at malamig lang siyang
tiningnan kahit gulat siya at tila hindi makapaniwala sa mga akto ko.

"I will never go to law school," I said casually.

Her jaw dropped. I shook my head.

"I will never be one of you as how you're treating me, ganoon naman ang
pinaparamdam at pinapakita niyo sa akin—hindi ako kaisa sa inyo, bakit ko pa kayo
susundin?" nanginig ang boses kong pilit pinapatapang.

"You're just mad," she retorted.

I gasped in disbelief. "No, I'm not! I don't really wanna be like you, wala na
akong pake kung lawyer kayong lahat. Sino bang nagsabi na gusto kong mag-law?
Sinusunod ko lang kayo pero hindi ko 'yon gusto! I'm so done now!"

Just mad? I'm just mad? Fucking just, who invented that word!

Mommy was gritting her teeth as she looked at Chancent's side, his eyes darted on
me with sadness and softness.

"Can you leave us, please?" Mommy demanded softly. "This is between the family—"

Chance stood up and nodded.

"I understand, Tita," he said without looking at me. "But can I ask one favor?
Don't hurt her."

I gasped out and chuckled. "Wow, Chance! You have no right to demand that when in
fact, you are one of them! Wala kayong pinagkaiba, pare-parehas lang kaya huwag
kang magsalita ng ganyan na parang may pakealam ka! Just fucking leave and work
your ass out! I don't need you!"

Gulat ako nang dumapo ang palad ni Mommy sa akin, I closed my eyes softly and
silent tears started flowing down. I quickly wiped it and glared at her.

"Diyan ka lang magaling! I really hate you, including those evil Miramontes!" sabi
ko at mabilis nilisan ang lugar habang tahimik na umiiyak.

I hate them for making me feel
kundi ang patunayan ang sarili
ako. They never appreciated me
to do is follow their steps so
iniisip pa kaysa sa akin!
so empty and stressed, wala naman akong ibang ginawa
ko pero kahit kailan hindi nila ako nakita bilang
in any way, they never loved me! All they wanted me
I could fit their name! Punyetang pangalan iyan, mas

I don't know where to go but I left the mansion with all my heartache and anger,
mali pa nga yata ako dahil sinundan ako ni Chancent hanggang sa makalabas ng gate.
I just found myself in between his arms and my face on his chest, I burst into
tears as I felt him embracing me tightly even though he was a bit shaky.

I know he's upset and disappointed in me but he's still here. I know that I hurt
him big time and yet he's still here...

I cried more, I couldn't stop myself from hitting his chest and crumpling his shirt
in too much emotion. I feel my anger so bad, I want to hurt anyone!

"Calm down, please..." he hushed me softly.

Umiling ako at muli siyang hinampas-tulak sa dibdib dahil sa panggagalaiti ko sa

galit.

"Leave me alone! I hate all of you!" I wriggled to get out of his arms but he
didn't let me.

"I hate you, too," he said lowly.

I sobbed and pushed his chest, pinakawalan niya ako at nagkatinginan kami. He
looked at me sternly and I glared at him angrily.

"Then, leave! Ilang beses ko bang sasabihin? Hindi na tayo maaayos kahit anong pag-
usapan! I already kissed Heidden! That was unforgivable!"

His eyes darkened badly, huminga siya ng malalim at tila pinapakalma ang sarili.

"Galit ako dahil humalik ka sa iba at wala akong kaalam-alam na wala na tayo pero
hindi iyon dahilan para pabayaan ka," mariin niyang sambit. "I need a reason for
the sudden break up."

I gritted my teeth, remembering everything.

"Fuck you, Chancent! That's the reason! You're a fucking asshole!"

He stepped closer and I stepped backwards in nervous, tinulak ko siya sa dibdib

para ilayo.

"How?" he asked.

"How?" my voice shook. "Where's your damn cell phone, huh? What have you been doing
in Manila all the time, fucking Patch behind me?! Before I cheated, you cheated on
me first! Magsama kayong dalawa!"

His jaw clenched tightly and the pain in his eyes visibled.

"You think, I'd really do that behind you?"

Nanggalaiti lalo ako sa galit at pait habang naiisip ang mga maaring interaksyon
nilang dalawa. I can't accept the fact that he was there with Patch while I was
suffering from over thinking, jealousy and heartache here.

"You already did! Sige, sabihin nating wala kayong ibang ginawa pero, Chance! Alam
mong may gusto iyon sayo at alam mong nagseselos ako sa kanya! You can't dictate
how jealousy works for other people! Kung immaturity para sayo 'yon, sa akin hindi!
I'm purely jealous, that's the only matter! Tapos, sama ka pa nang sama? Kinakausap
mo pa? At nagpahatid ka pa sa airport? Isn't that cheating, huh? You never informed
me about it!"

Oo, mukhang hindi niya alam noon na imbitado si Patch sa kaarawan ng Mommy niya
pero anong dahilan at nagpahatid pa sa airport? That's bullshit! Sadya na iyon!

He licked his lips and his eyes were bloodshot.

"Kasama lang siya ni Nyxinea na naghatid sa akin, Sileas. Kasama lang! I never had
an interaction with her the whole time. Cheating is a fucking choice and no one's
in the choice because I have you," he spat out with annoyance.

I covered my face with both palms and cried out, I don't know what to say. I just
wanna cry until my pain goes away, hindi lang naman kasi iyon ang gumugulo sa isip
ko. Marami pa at naiinis ako dahil sobrang babasagin ng pakiramdam ko, ultimong
maliit na bagay ay sinasaktan ako. Nagsama-sama na, e. Hindi ko na alam kung anong
uunahin.
"I-I'm so sorry..." I cried.

"This isn't the right time to argue about it," he said as he pulled my wrist
gently. "But I won't leave you alone."

I bowed my head, umiling ako sa kanya at walang salitang bumalik sa aming bahay. I
still don't know how to face him, I'm so disgusted with myself for kissing another
man. I feel like I don't deserve him anymore. Wala naman siyang kasalanan at
nakagawa na ako ng ikadidismaya niya. Ang nakakahiya pa ay ginamit ko si Heidden.

I'm still so damn immature for making issues inside my head about his doings behind
me, I didn't trust him. Or I just simply dragged him with all my problems in life,
fuck it.

Maybe, I'm not yet ready for everything now. Hindi ko na idadamay si Chance sa
problema ko, this is my own issues to suffer and deal with. I don't wanna take him
again, papangatawanan ko ang lahat. Hindi ko kailangan ng kahinaan ngayon.

My days continued to fly, hangin kong ituring ang lahat sa mansyon at nawalan ako
ng pake sa bawat sermon na natatanggap ko tuwing magkakasabay kami sa hapagkainan.

However, those days made me feel free even empty. Siguro dahil wala akong pakealam,
dumaan ang ilang quizzes na hindi ako nagrereview at kung ano lang ang alam ko sa
tanong ay iyon lang ang nasasagot. Walang pinipilit, I was simply doing everything
without putting efforts and it was comforting the hell inside me.

"I'm so glad that you're hanging out with us again, Pal!" Behati giggled. "Ang
hirap talaga kapag may boyfriend, 'no? Kaya ayaw ko ng commitment, e. Nang-aalis ng
freedom at time sa ibang bagay."

"Bakit ba kayo nagbreak noon?" tanong ni Cassandra.

"Personal issues..."

"Oh, family problem?"

I shrugged.

Natawa pa sila sa simple kong pagkikibit balikat, wala lang akong ganang
makipagkwentuhan kapag tungkol sa amin ni Chance dahil una sa lahat—nasasaktan pa
rin ako at mas nadidismaya lamang sa sarili.

"So, you're up to party now?"

I nodded. "Yes, I need it."

Bagsak ang quizzes ko sa major subjects kaya kailangan kong i-celebrate iyon.

"Celebration for having failed quizzes?" halakhak ni Cassandra. "Bagsak din ako sa
isang major kaya sige, game ako."

Behati giggled and looked at me. "Is it okay to bring Quentin?"

"Why not?"

"Oo nga, wala naman ng boyfriend si Pal!"

I sighed inwardly. Natapos ang araw namin sa school na iyon ang pinag-uusapan,
Sabado ang aming napag-usapang night out. Kung noon, iniimporma ko agad kay Mommy
ang mga quizzes, ngayon ay hinayaan ko na lang. Umuuwi ako sa bahay nang walang
sinasabi tungkol sa eskuwelahan ko, sumasabay pa rin akong kumain sa kanila pero
tuwing nagtatanong sa akin ay walang kuwenta ang mga sinasagot ko.

For days, Chancent was still contacting and messaging me—asking my days but I never
replied. I wanted to block him anywhere but I couldn't, gusto ko pa rin kasing
mabasa ang mga mensahe niya sa akin.

"Nandito na naman siya..." bulong ni Behati.

I simply glanced. There was Chancent, leaning on his car while puffing a cigarette
with a bottled water on the other hand, he's wearing a three piece suit and slacks
with black shoes—he was simply watching me that made my heart pound and when he
noticed my head turn, he threw his cigarette and stomped it on the ground before
avoiding my gaze and went inside his car to leave.

Para akong maiiyak pero pinigilan ko ang sariling emosyon.

"He looked like a hot stalker!" tawa ni Cassandra. "Break na kayo pero parati pa
ring nandiyan tuwing uwian!"

"Kaya nga, what's the sense? Hindi yata makamove on sayo iyon!"

Kung normal na araw ito ay siguradong tinakbo ko na siya gaya noon, kaso hindi.
Huminga ako ng malalim at nailing na lamang.

"Magsasawa rin iyon." I chuckled my pain out.

Ilang beses ko na siyang namataan sa labas ng school, wala naman siyang hakbang na
ginagawa kapag nakikita ako at tila naroon lang para makita ako tuwing uwian. It
was hurting me but I endured those days until weeks, ignoring his presence as if he
was a ghost.

Halos dalawang linggo akong wala sa sarili at nag-iisip ng paraan para tuluyan
siyang walain sa mga bagay na inaalala ko. I've been into parties with my friends
and some common friends, sa totoo lang ay masaya iyon kahit tumatakas lang ako
tuwing hating gabi sa mansyon.

Chancent:
I'll be leaving for New York today, I have unfinished business to attend and
resume.

Chancent:
I know, we're not in good terms for the past weeks but I always care for you.
Please, take care of yourself.

Chancent:
I hope everything you're doing makes you feel better.

Chancent:
I don't want a break with you but if that would make you happy, then, I'm finally
accepting it. You're free.

I found myself crying my heart out while reading his emails again and again, kahit
masakit ang ulo mula sa party kagabi ay natabunan iyon ng sakit ng dibdib dahil sa
mga mensahe niya. Gayunpaman, wala pa rin akong tapang na sagutin siya.

It's okay, Sileas. Let him go and do not drag him into your mess again.
Iyak ako nang iyak buong umaga, hindi ko alam kung kailan nahinto ang sakit sa puso
ko. Ilang katok sa pinto ang gumising ulit sa akin nang magtanghali, tinatawag na
ako para sa pananghalian. I just put some concealer to cover my swollen eyes and
went downstairs.

"Ilang linggo ka na raw wala sa firm, Gabanna. Ano bang pinagkakaabalahan mo rito
at pinasa mo sa iba ang mga kasong hawak mo?" pormal na boses ni Lola ang narinig
ko habang papasok ng dining area.

Huli ko nang narinig iyon at hindi agad nakapihit pabalik upang maiwasan ang
tanghalian kasama sila, napatingin na sila sa aking pagdating. I just casually
walked towards my usual seat, nasa kabisera ang dalawang matanda habang sila Mommy
at Daddy ay nasa magkabilang gilid kahilera namin ni Gabbani at Gunther sa kabila.
Nagsisimula na silang kumain doon at ako na lang pala ang wala, ni hindi ko alam
kung bakit ako pinatawag para sumabay pero sigurado akong may insulto na namang
mangyayari.

The ambiance was so formal and uncomfortable for the past minutes. Maybe because I
know how these visitors don't want me to share a table with them, agad kong
naramdaman ang baling sa akin ng Lola.

"It's nothing big deal, Mom," Mommy said formally.

"Ang sabihin mo, abala ka sa pag-aalaga ng imahe ng anak mong nasa labas tuwing
gabi at inuumaga sa bar!"

Mommy gasped. Lola shot me a glare, gulat man ako ay hindi na pinakita ang kabado
kong reaksyon doon.

"Gabbani told me what you've been doing for the past weeks, Pallavi! You've been
spending money partying with your stupid liberated friends, sneaking every midnight
to get wild at the bar and failing your subjects!" she spat venomously. "Why?
Because you learned about the truth of your father—"

"Mama!" agad na alma ni Mommy. "Please! Let's stop talking about that!"

"No! She should know that she was a mistake and yet she doesn't appreciate the good
life you're giving her by doing bad things to disappoint us! What a disgraceful
daughter!"

Hindi ko napigilan ang panlalaki ng mga mata, agad pinanlabuan ng paningin dahil sa
nagbabadyang luha pero inasahan ko na iyon. Kahit pala inaasahan na ay masakit pa
rin.

"Mama, that was never her fault!" Daddy retorted. "Stop putting the blame on the
kid."

"I'm not blaming her! All I want to tell is that she should be thankful for having
her life today and instead of being a disappointment, why can't she just do good to
be worthy?"

My chest heaved, bumuhos ang mga luha ko at pagalit na tumayo habang nakatingin sa
kanya.

"Well, sorry to disappoint you, Lola. I was already a fruit of mistake, what more
can I say here? A mistake is unforgettable, I know that even how much I try to
prove myself here—I'll stay as a mistake in your eyes, right? Kahit anong gawin ko
at pagpapakitang gilas, hindi niyo makita iyon! Ang nakikita niyo lang parati ay
ang mga pagkakamali ko!" I said while crying.
"How dare you talk to her like that!" Lolo yelled, parang aatakihin sa puso.

Inilingan ko lang iyon kahit nilapitan na ng personal nurse niya para pakalmahin,
hindi ko na rin marinig ang ibang pinagsasabi ni Gabbani at Mommy habang sinasaway
ako. Basta, gusto kong magsalita hanggang sa makapagsaksak ng punto.

"I've already tried, I've done my part here as a daughter and a family member! Kung
hindi niyo talaga ako matatanggap, bahala kayo sa buhay niyo! I am my parents'
responsibility and I have no responsibility to them, I was just their m-mistake!"
my voice trembled. "I don't care about my relationship with this family anymore,
I'll do what I want and I will never enter law school to follow your damn sect!"

Nakita ko ang pagtumba ng Lolo sa lapag habang pinilit hinahabol ang hininga niya,
agad nagtayuan sila Lola at iba pa para puntahan iyon—kapwa mga kabado at
nagsisigawan na tumawag ng ambulansya. Napakurap-kurap ako pero hindi ko talaga
magawang kaawaan iyon, I calmed my sobs down and walked away without minding the
commotion. They were flocking around the grandfather.

My heart was aching for my own situation, now I know that I'm all alone. Walang
Chance, walang Mommy, walang Papa at walang pamilya kundi ang sarili lang. Mabilis
akong bumaba sa ilang baitang ng mansyon at bago pa makababa ay nahila ako ni
Gabbani sa buhok, namilog ang mga mata ko at napatili sa sakit ng anit ko.

She forcefully pulled my hair up to get back.

"Bumalik ka rito! Walang hiya ka! Are you happy to ruin everything here, huh?"

"Gabbani!" I growled angrily and removed her hands on my hair.

Nakatanggap agad ako ng mag-asawang sampal mula sa kanya at halos mahulog sa

hagdanan, sa galit at sakit ng nararamdaman ko ay sinugod ko siya at tinulak din
dahilan ng pagtama ng balakang niya sa terasa. Napasigaw siya sa sakit at napaupo,
nangunot ang noo ko at iiwanan na sana siya roon ngunit nakita ko ang marahang
pagmamarka ng dugo sa kanyang suot na kulay abong jumpsuit habang iniinda ang
sakit.

My eyes widened shockingly and fearfully, halos mataranta ako habang pinapanood
siya pero hindi ko magawang hawakan dahil sa nanginginig na takot. I didn't know I
was screaming for help because I felt so blocked out while looking at her.

She's freaking pregnant! Oh my, God!

Nang magmulat siya ng mga mata ay siyang hagulgol niya sa duguang damit, halos
napapatalon ako sa takot at frustrations na makahingi ng tulong pero hindi ko
talaga siya mahawakan. Nanginginig ang mga tuhod at kalamnan ko, I was crying in
vain as I saw Gunther from the double doors. Gulat agad ang bumalot sa kanya nang
makita sa Gabbani.

"Gunther!" I cried. "Please, take her to the hospital! Oh my, God! I'm so—"

"My baby, please!" hagulgol ni Gabbani. "Help me, I don't wanna lose my baby!"

Gunther immediately carried her up, he looked so worried and teary eyed. My heart
cried in too much fear. This is a fucking nightmare!

Please...
#UM28
#UM28
I was shaking, hindi ko na ramdam at dinig ang mga pangyayari—nakita ko na lang na
umalis ang sasakyan dala si Gabanni at Gunther pagtapos ng ilang minuto lamang ay
sumunod naman sina Daddy na buhat ang naghahabol hininga na Lolo, sinakay rin sa
sasakyan at lahat sila'y kapwa taranta. Ni hindi pa alam ang nangyari kay Gabanni.

"Oh my, God!" iyak ni Lola habang nagmamadali sa paglabas ng double doors, agad
niya akong namataan at dinuro. "I don't know what would I do to you! Ipagdasal mo
lang na walang mangyaring masama kay Gordon!"

I couldn't cry, I was just shaking in fear.

"Let's go, Mom!" Mommy was teary eyed as she pulled Lola downstairs to get in the
car, she looked away and nodded at our housemaid. Marahan akong hinawakan sa braso
ng kasambahay at inalo, tuluyang sumakay si Mommy sa sasakyan at umalis iyon.

I was left in the middle of the chaos I made.

Tama lang ito sa akin, ang sama ko kasi. Nagpadala ako sa lahat ng emosyon ko at
hindi ko napigilan sumabog.

"Ma'am Pallavi, doon na po tayo sa loob."

Hindi ko iyon pinansin at mabilis akong umiwas sa takot, kahit nanginginig ay

mabilis akong bumaba. Panay ang sigaw ng kasambahay namin, tumakbo na ako para
makatakas. I don't wanna be jailed, hindi pa nila alam ang nagawa ko kay Gabanni—
tanging si Gunther lang ang sumunod sa amin kanina kaya hindi imposibleng lalo nila
akong kamumuhian sa nagawa.

Paano kung hindi lang siya dinugo? Paano kung hindi mailigtas ang baby niya? Oh,
God! Please! Ayaw kong makulong, alam kong galit na si Gabanni sa akin simula't
sapul kaya kapag napahamak ang baby niya ay hindi iyon papayag na hindi ako
makulong!

Iyak ako nang iyak habang tumatakbo palayo ng village at iyon din ang saktong
pagbuhos ng malakas na ulan kaya lalo akong nahabag, I took a cab when I got out of
the village. My hands were shaking as I dialed Chance's number, I'm so fucking
hopeless.

It was off and I remember that he doesn't have a cell phone, naiwan nga pala iyon
kay Patch. It made me cry more, thinking that Chance isn't here anymore. Nagpababa
ako sa condominium na tinuluyan niya, sana hindi pa siya nakakaalis ng Davao.

I need him so bad right now.

Basang-basa ako at parang binagsakan ng bagyo, pinagtitinginan man ng ilang tao

roon ay nagpatuloy ako sa elevator. My heart was crying painfully, I made a lot of
damn mess and I'll be hated more for what happened today.

Sobrang malas kong tao, hindi ko alam kung bakit ako pinaparusahan ng ganito. I
know that anger and pain consumed me and all I wanted was to hurt everyone around
me but don't I have a right to be angry? May kapalit agad ang lahat.

I reached Chance's unit and clicked the buzzer, ilang beses kong inulit iyon
hanggang sa ako na mismo ang kumatok sa pinto noon dahil sa frustrations.

"Chance, please! You're here!" I said in frustration and hopelessness.

I was banging his door desperately until I cried harder, walang Chancent na
nagbukas doon. I sat on the ground, brought my knees up to cover my face and cried
alone.

He's not here anymore, he left Davao and what would I expect? That he'd stay here
even I hurt him?

Minutes passed, I was just crying there when my cell phone vibrated. Para akong
batang nag-angat ng tingin at kinuha ang cell phone ko, it feels like a damn
companion in the center of the storm.

"Sileas," it was Papa's worried voice.

My lips trembled, I cried even without starting.

"P-Papa! I don't wanna be jailed, please. Help me out of here, I don't wanna be
here anymore!" I was crying, my shoulders were shaking. "Take me out of here,
please."

Nagmamakaawa ako na sana kunin niya na ako ngayon din, ayaw ko na rito. Baka
ipahanap ako nila Lola, ipapakulong o hindi ko na alam ang maari pang maging
desisyon nila para parusahan ako.

"Shh... I will, I will. Stop crying, please..." hirap niyang sinabi, pilit
pinapakalma ang sariling boses.

"Papa, papa. I don't wanna be jailed." Takot na takot ako at habang tumatakbo ang
mga minuto ay lalo akong nakakaramdam ng kaba, they are all lawyers and they will
sue me for everything.

My heart couldn't stop beating fearfully, hindi na ako makahinga sa kakaiyak.

"Never, stop thinking like that. Where are you exactly?"

"Chance's condo but he wasn't h-here... we broke up already and he left Davao. I'm
helpless, I need to get out of here, please!"

He sighed heavily. "I will take you out, okay? Calm down and get up. Book a hotel
room anywhere, doon kita pupuntahan. I can't be there right now, I'm just on the
way to the airport. Ilang oras lang naman iyon. Stop crying and rest."

I blinked my tears and nodded like a kid, I sobbed and stood up weakly.

"O-Okay, Papa. B-Bilisan mo lang, ah?" mahina kong pagpupumilit.

"Alright, I want you to calm down now and do what I said."

Tumango lang ako kahit hindi niya nakikita, tinapos namin ang usapan at ginawa ko
ang mga sinabi niya. I went into the near hotel and booked a room for myself, hindi
ko na naisip magpalit ng basang damit. Pagkapasok pa lang ay nahiga na ako at
tumulala sa kisame habang nagpapakalma ng sariling emosyon.

Bakit kung kailan kailangan ko si Chance ay wala siya? Bakit kung kailan walang-
wala ako ay wala siya sa paligid? Ang sakit sa pakiramdam, alam kong ako ang
dahilan kung bakit wala siya pero umaasa ako na parati lang siyang nandiyan para
saluhin ako.

Maybe, I should learn how to stand by my own from now on, it was so hard to be so
dependent. Hindi lahat ng tao ay handa para tumulong, hindi lahat ay parating
nandiyan. I just wished that I appreciate his presence the last time before this
day happened, parang ang lagay kasi ay naaappreciate ko lang siya kapag nasa sakuna
na.

And I didn't expect Papa... I don't know how or why did he call that moment but it
was a big fucking help for me, I didn't wanna call him—I didn't think of him to
help, si Chance pa ang naunang pumasok sa isip ko. Siguro dahil galit din ako kay
Papa, wala man akong pruweba sa ginawa niya noon ay galit ako sa kaisipang ganoon
nga kaya ako nakakaranas ng ganitong buhay ngayon. Everything was from the parents'
mistakes!

I hate them both for giving me this life! I may not be poor physically but
everytime I look around, every side of my life was poor than the others.

It was a long hour of silence, cry of my heart was the only sound that's ringing.
Sobrang bigat ng pakiramdam ko sa buong oras na iyon at bawat subok kong kumalma ay
paulit-ulit lang na natatabunan ng takot. Tinext ko si Papa tungkol sa aking unit
number at saka ko pinikit ang mga mata, I wanted to rest everything and I pray that
tomorrow is a new world for me.

Nagising na lang ako sa tunog ng cell phone ko, nahagip ng tingin ko na alas sais y
media na rin ng hapon. Papa was the caller, I quickly answered it.

"Papa!" I called.

"I'm already here, open the door."

It was actually surprising, kanina pa siguro siya naroon?

Mabilis akong tumayo mula sa kama at agad binuksan ang pinto, I saw him standing
there without anything but his cell phone. His worried eyes met mine, he looked so
problematic as he scanned me down. My eyes heated immediately followed by my sobs,
I ran and hugged him tightly.

"Papa! I'm sorry! I didn't mean everything I've done! I'm so sorry! I don't wanna
be jailed, please, take me with you." I cried on his shoulder.

He embraced me tightly while caressing my hair and back to calm me down, he kissed
the side of my head while nodding.

"I won't let that happen, okay? Don't worry, I'm here."

Hindi naman niya alam ang nangyari pero parang kahit ano pa iyon ay sa akin pa rin
siya nakapabor, na parang kahit anong mangyari o gawin ko ay sasaluhin niya ako at
hindi pababayaan.

We went inside my hotel room and I was crying the whole time while telling him what
happened, I didn't lie even a single thing about what I have been feeling since the
day I heard that he raped Mommy until what I did to Gabanni earlier. Hindi mahinto
ang pag-iyak ko habang siya'y tahimik na nakikinig at hawak ang kamay ko.

"She's pregnant, Papa! H-Hindi ko alam, hindi ko po alam. I pushed her because she
pulled my hair after I walked out of the argument! I didn't like what they told me
about you, basta napuno lang po ako, Papa. Hindi ko sinasadya!"

Umiling ako nang umiling habang nanginginig ang mga balikat sa kakaiyak.

"Hindi ako naniniwala kay Gabanni, Pa, pero noong walang ibang sinabi si Mommy ukol
doon. Hindi ko na alam kung saan ako maniniwala, e. I didn't mean to believe them
about what you really did but it made me so angry and disgusted."
He sighed heavily and licked his lips, I saw how his eyes turned so soft and down.

"D-Did you really do that, P-Papa?"

"Would you believe if I say no?" he smiled a bit, sadness was visible.

I nodded. "I-I just wanna hear it from you."

"I didn't," tipid niyang sagot. "I did not rape your Mommy. You're not a fruit of
fucking rape, okay? But I wanted to protect her image that I agreed to be in that
case, I got jailed for months and Ganix helped me out."

He sighed and caressed my hair down.

"We shouldn't talk about this right now but that's the truth, Sileas. Please, don't
think of me that way. I won't lie to you."

I gasped. "M-Mom lied... she couldn't even tell Gabanni the truth! Kahit nasasaktan
na ako roon, hindi niya talaga aaminin na hindi mo ginawa iyon? Kaya ganoon na lang
ang galit nilang lahat sa akin dahil sa kasinungalingang alam nila!"

He didn't talk, he was just calming me down for hour. Each time passes, my hate for
Mommy was heating. I loved her but she was a liar, I know how much she loves her
family but it wasn't right! Hanggang ngayon, pinapalinis niya pa rin ang imahe ng
kanilang pamilya sa pamamagitan ng kasinungalingang iyon.

Kahit galit ako sa nalaman ay hindi pa rin nababago ang bigat ng pakiramdam ko sa
lahat ng nagawa lalo kay Gabanni. Even though, I hate her, I don't wanna be a
killer of an innocent baby.

Papa has two tickets for us to Manila, I rested for more hours after taking a
shower. He was making some calls when I woke up, hininto niya rin iyon nang
magising ako. He took care of my things, he bought clothes for me to wear and some
things I needed that day.

Tulala lang ako sa eroplano habang iniisip kung kumusta si Gabanni at Lolo, I don't
wanna ask anyone of them. Gunther was calling me but I decided to ignore it, I also
threw my sim card and deactivated my social media accounts. Natatakot ako, I don't
wanna be tracked or anything. Basta, ayaw ko rin marinig kung ano mang resulta ng
lahat.

Gabi na nang lumapag ang eroplano sa Manila, hindi ako nakatulog sa ilang oras ng
biyahe sa himpapawid. I couldn't stop thinking of everything but I feel so tired of
it, nagdadasal ako na sana ay ayos lang ang lahat at magpapatuloy na ako sa puder
ni Papa o... hindi rin. I want to live independently, by my own, since my parents
have their own home and families now—I don't want to be the other.

I was staring blankly at nowhere, Papa was on the call while waiting for our
service. Hindi ko maintindihan, e. Nilingon ko siya roon, lumapit na siya sa akin
at inakap ako sa kanyang kanang braso.

"Okay, until what time? Maybe, we can just take a cab."

"No, Tito, we're already here. Jace was just around the place where my car lost
life." Tawa ni Arki ang narinig ko roon.

"Alright, thank you, Arki."

Huminga ako ng malalim, we waited on the waiting area for more minutes again.
Nagkukuwento si Papa tungkol sa trabaho niya at pinaplanong bakasyon na ngayon lang
yata talaga pinagdesisyunan, para libangin ako.

"We can travel together with Philo since Fili can't travel yet because of your baby
sister, tayo lang tatlo." He smiled.

I smiled a bit. "Thank you for taking me out, Papa."

"Nothing big deal." He sighed. "You're my daughter, I may not be your perfect
father because I couldn't give you a complete family but I will never leave you
through everything."

How bad of me, I was always hesitant to call him knowing that I might disturb their
happy family but I could truly count on Papa. I was so damn blinded by insecurities
that I didn't see my hero all this time. I was all alone with insecurities and
pain.

We went out of the area as Papa saw Arki on the other side, waving his hand while
chewing a bubble gum. Papa held me on my back and we both walked to reach Arki's
side, agad akong tinaasan ng kilay ni Arki. Nagyuko lang ako ng ulo, Papa caught my
mood and just nodded at Arki.

"Alright!" Arki said and walked.

"Where's Jace?" Papa asked.

"Waiting in the car, he just finished a runway night."

Madali lang namin narating ang kulay puting sasakyan, binuksan agad ni Arki ang
pinto para sa akin.

"Oh, why did you call him? He should be resting!" Papa said and looked at the front
seat with really tinted windows.

"He's just around and I tried to call the other guys but they don't answer my
calls. They are all so busy and I don't wanna stay in the side road with my poor
car."

Sumampa ako para makasakay at narinig ko ang magaspang na mahinang tawa ni Jace
mula sa harapan.

"Buy a new car, Arki. That car was too old!" Jace turned a bit to see the back seat
and our eyes crossed quickly, his lips gave a small smile. "Oh, hi. Welcome back."

He looked nice in a mustard yellow sweater, his hair was up neatly with silver
glitters and his face looks fresh as if he just washed it a while ago. Mukhang
galing pa nga ng runway.

I nodded curtly and looked outside the window, I'm not really in the mood to talk
and interact. Jace was surely one of the famous model anywhere and his fan girls
would probably die just to be with him but he's normal for me now. Wala namang
pinipili ang mood ng tao at wala akong lakas makipagbatian pa.

Nakasakay na rin sila Papa at Arki kaya nagmaneho na paalis ng airport si Arki,
they were talking about some things and I couldn't follow that much. Minu-minuto
rin akong kinukumusta ni Papa at nginingitian ko naman para ipakitang ayos lang
ako.
"You failed a major?" Arki ridiculed. "That's alright!"

"How come it's alright?" Jace asked in disbelief.

"You can't pass that anymore, it's already failed. Just try again! Life's too short
to be sad for failing a subject when you can pull it some other time and get
better."

"You're right." Jace nodded with a chuckle.

Nakita ko ang mga mata ni Arki sa rearview mirror.

"How's school, Pal?" he asked me.

I shrugged a bit. "I don't know. I wanna forget it."

His eyes widened and he laughed.

"Planning to block in the list, law school now?"

I sighed heavily and glanced at Papa beside me who just shrugged and smiled, muling
humalakhak si Arki.

"Oh, please! Don't ever look at Tito as if you need his permission. Of course, you
can decide your own path here! Forget law school and shift to what you really
want."

"Law school is freaking stressful!" Jace followed with a chuckle.

Arki nodded. "You're really gorgeous, you should at least try modeling. No sweat.
Plus, your boyfriend's Tito Estrevillo owns a lot of agencies around. You can be an
international model like Jace, isang endorsement lang, may bahay ka na!"

Tumawa sila, I just sighed heavily. Never in my whole life. Hindi ko naman ginusto
ang pagmomodelo kahit kailan, e. Maybe, I'll just look for another program to
take... or law school... still.

Naalala ko naman tuloy si Chancent... I hope he's okay, in New York. I'll be better
here.
#UM29
#UM29

Hindi ko alam kung saan mag-uumpisa, I told the whole story that night in front of
Tita Fili and Arki who stayed for the night. I cried and begged them to hide me
from that family, Papa was just watching me with bloodshot eyes as if he feels
everything I'm holding. I feel so awful and bad for pushing Gabanni that caused her
bleed.

She might lose her baby or she did. Pero takot akong magtanong, ayaw kong malaman
iyon at baka negatibo ang resulta.

"Hindi ko iyon sinadya, pero nadala talaga ako ng galit kaya gumanti ako nang
saktan niya—" hindi ko maituloy ang pagsasalita ng maayos dahil sa pag-iyak.

Arki was biting his bottom lip, he was quietly listening the whole story.
Nakatingin siya sa akin, walang mabasang ekspresyon.

"Shh, it wasn't a bad thing to fight back and you didn't know her situation. I know
you wouldn't do that if you knew." Papa caressed my arm gently to comfort.
I nodded like a kid, my eyes were swollen from crying badly. "Basta, Papa. Ayaw ko
na roon, hindi na ako babalik sa kanila. They will surely sue me or punish me, I've
been suffering from loneliness and insults there. I don't wanna go back."

Papa was nodding at anything I say.

"P-Paano kung nawala ang baby niya? Hahanapin nila ako, ayaw ko Papa! Tapos si
Lolo, inatake siya dahil din sa akin! I'm in a bad mess, please. Help me, I don't
wanna be sued. Hindi ko na ulit gagawin, Papa!" I was crying like a scared kid.

He nodded and closed his eyes tightly, ilang minuto niya akong tinatahan at ganoon
din si Tita Fili na panay ang pagpapakalma sa akin. Tinakip ko ang mga palad sa
mukha habang nakayuko ang ulo. Papa's cell phone suddenly rang, kinuha niya iyon sa
lamesa bago pa ako makapag-angat ng tingin at saka siya tumayo para lumayo sala.

Arki went on my other side and caressed my hair, ang isang braso niya ay hinila ako
para akbayan at yakapin doon para aluin. He sighed heavily.

"You just fought back, you didn't make her bleed willingly. Iyan ang isipin mo,
hindi mo kasalanan iyon. Siya ang nauna at dumipensa ka lang, Pallavi."

I cried more in silence, yumakap ako kay Tita Fili habang si Arki ang nag-aalo sa
aking likuran. I don't know how to comfort myself from the mess I'm in.

Limang araw ang lumipas na puno ako ng takot, dapat ay nag-aasikaso na ako sa
paglipat ko ng eskuwelahan pero pinili kong magkulong sa bahay nila Papa at hindi
nila binanggit ang tungkol doon kahit kailan. They're letting me have my time here
to think and be comfortable around, I was out of social media and gadgets.
Everything. Wala akong ginawa sa mga araw na lumipas kundi ang matulog at kumain
dala ng anxiety at pagkatakot, may mga oras na nagigising ako sa gitna ng pagtulog
at umiiyak.

Alam kong tumatawag si Mommy kay Papa, minsan ko kasing nakita na tumunog ang cell
phone niya at pangalan ni Mommy ang caller pero hindi rin binanggit ni Papa ang
tungkol doon. I really appreciate him for shielding me but that's also scaring me.
Naiisip ko na baka puntahan ako at sapilitang kuhanin ng mga Miramontes o ang
malala ay damputin na lang ako ng mga pulis dito.

Nawaglit ang pagtulala ko sa kisame nang may kumatok, nataranta agad ako at hindi
sumagot sa kaba.

"Hey, Pal. This is Bhaltie!"

Suminghap ako at dinala ang sarili sa pinto para buksan iyon. "O-Oh, hey..." I
greeted when I saw him behind the door.

Hindi ko mapigilan ang kaba tuwing may kumakatok, pakiramdam ko ay iyon na ang
hatol sa akin. My heart was ripping everytime.

His lips puckered.

"Wanna go shopping today?"

Hindi ako makasagot dahil wala akong planong lumabas ng village.

"Just you and me, or we can get Arki to double the fun. 'Ya know, well, if you want
girls—Arki has girl friends to take with us. Wala kasi sila Capri since last week
until next, abala sa school trips at si Dia naman ay nasa Laguna."
Huminga ako ng malalim, medyo alanganin.

"Natatakot ako lumabas, k-kayo na lang..."

"Don't be, we always gotchu," he said slangly.

I sighed and nodded hesitantly, he smiled and clicked his tongue.

"Ligo na at bihis, hintayin kita sa living area." He was about to turn but forgot
something to say. "Kumain ka na ba?"

"Yeah, I had lunch a while ago."

Ngumuso siya at tumango na bago nilisan ang pasilyo, pumasok na rin ako at nag-
umpisa sa gagawin.

I took a bath for almost one hour and fixed myself, I wore a simple baby yellow
dress—Tita Fili bought me some pair of clothes since I didn't bring anything but
myself here, mukhang iniipunan nga niya ako ng damit. Bawat araw kasi ay mayroon
siyang dala para sa akin, kahit makeups.

Medyo nahihiya ako dahil parang hininto rin nila ang oras para sa akin at damayan
ako, hindi umaalis si Papa para sa business trips simula nang nandito na ako at
sabi niya'y nakaleave siya ng isang linggo. Tita Fili was a full time house wife
since her baby is just months old, she needs to take care of her.

That baby looks like me when I was an infant, nakita ko sa litrato. May mga
pagkakaiba rin pero hindi maikakaila na kapatid ko siya, at si Philo? Palaging
pagod galing eskuwelahan at taong kuwarto, basta may Xbox.

Bumaba na ako pagtapos mag-ayos, I didn't put much makeup like my routine. I just
put a matte nude tint on my lips and bun my hair neatly, wala akong gana sa pag-
aayos. Gusto ko lang sa kuwarto pero wala naman sigurong masamang magtiwala sa mga
kasama kong lumabas ngayon. I have my card to shop but I left it, sigurado namang
hindi na iyon gagana.

"Have a good day outside, anak!" Tita Fili said while smiling, marahan niyang
hinihele si Palmira.

I smiled at her, lumapit ako at humalik sa pisngi niya. "Thank you, Tita."

"Mama, please! It may be demanding but please, I wanna be your Mama." Humagikgik
siya.

I chuckled and nodded. "Mama..."

Her smile grew wider, she kissed my cheek before facing Bhaltie who stood up to
wait for me.

"Ikaw na ang bahala, Bhaltair."

"Yes, Ma'am!"

"Isasama niyo ba sila Constantine o kayo lang dalawa?"

Ngumiwi si Bhaltie. "Jace can't be seen in a crowded place, magkakaroon ng

traffic."
"Bodyguards! Wala ba?"

"He doesn't like bodyguards, he's feeling normal but maybe we can go to his place
after Pal's shopping."

"Yes, that would be a good idea!"

Bhaltie's forehead creased. "Wait, why? Doesn't she have Estrevillo? I mean, that's
her boyfriend."

"Oh, don't mention it. They broke up already!" Tita Fili said nicely.

That hurt. I wanted to know how's Chance right now, I want to see him and talk to
him but I know it would be a bad idea to contact him since I have no guts to still
talk to him after what I did.

"Oh... 'kay..."

I sighed, nagyaya na si Bhaltie pagtapos ng ilang paalam. Papa went to Laguna for
Tito Race's call, sinasama niya ako roon para makapasyal pero tinanggihan ko at
hindi siya namilit. Ayaw ko kasi talagang lumabas, kahit isang buwan lang ay gusto
ko makasiguradong ligtas na ako sa lugar at walang kukuha sa akin.

"So you're broken?" Bhaltie asked while driving.

"Yes..." amin ko. "I'm not just broken because of the break up with Chance, I'm
also broke with everything."

He nodded and tsked. "Stop thinking about the family you left in Davao and start a
new life with us, here. You've been with them for nineteen years and yet you didn't
feel the freedom of being a teenager because they're like a cage."

I sighed. "I have created a big mess, Bhaltie. I can't just stop thinking of it.
Pakiramdam ko ay may napatay ako, e."

"Tss, want me to check on it? If nothing bad happened, would you start to be happy
again?"

I only sighed and smiled. We went to Shangri-la,  tinawagan na ni Bhaltie si Arki

at sinabi noong tatapusin lang ang kanyang klase at susunod sa amin, he let me
decide where to go for my clothes and anything needed.

"Ano bang course ni Arki?"

"He's in a law school... I don't know what did he take exactly but yeah, he's a
future lawyer."

Namilog ang mga mata ko. "Seryoso? Si Arki?"

Humalakhak siya at tumango.

"Yup, why do you look so shocked?"

I shrugged, still can't believe it. I didn't know that, I thought he was up to
business world. Bakit kaya siya nag-law? Gusto ko ring malaman kung mahirap nga
talaga iyon para makapagdesisyon kung tutuloy pa ako o patutunayan na lang na hindi
ako susunod sa yapak ng mga Miramontes gaya ng kagustuhan nila.

Hindi bale, marami pa namang puwedeng maging trabaho kapag natapos ko ang Political
Science.

I did shopping for clothes and stuff, I didn't buy expensive things since I'm using
Papa's card and I don't wanna be that cozy. Okay na iyong mga damit na hindi
mamahalin dahil pare-parehas lang din namang nasusuot. Noon, ayaw kong magsuot ng
hindi mamahalin at lahat ng gamit ko ay branded, unti-unti ko iyong
pinanghihinayangan simula nang matuto kay Chance.

Damn, I'm missing Chance...

Hindi nakasunod si Arki sa amin kaya nang matapos kami sa pamimili ko ay umalis din
kami ng mall at hindi ko alam kung saan kami pupunta, Bhaltie carried my shopping
bags until we reached the car—he was talking with Jace as we left the place.

"Are you free? Or your place?" Bhaltie asked, he put the cell phone on the phone
holder in front and it was on the speaker.

"Yeah, you're gonna use the place?" Jace asked in a bedroom voice.

"Sana, hindi ka naman puwedeng lumabas, 'di ba?"

"Who told you that?" Jace countered.

"Let's go out, then? Night out somewhere."

"Are you with Merri? I thought she left the town again?"

"What's with Merri? She's living in Batangas, of course, she's there."

"Oh, okay. I'm free tonight. Zac's here, nag-aaya rin lumabas. Saan ba?"

Bhaltie sighed. "Anywhere you're comfortable in."

"Sige, akin na 'to. Sino mga kasama?"

Nilingon ako ni Bhaltie. "Pal, if you and Zac would bring girls—it's okay, para may
kausap si Pal."

Jace chuckled. "Nice..."

Kumunot ang noo ni Bhaltie at bahagyang sumimangot.

"Nice, what? Don't try me, Jace. Pal just broke up with Chancent, not a chance for
you."

Hindi ko alam kung matatawa ako o ano pero nailing na lang ako, humalakhak naman si
Jace.

"I didn't say anything, chill out!" Jace laughed roughly. "But Chancent Estrevillo?
Isn't he dating your other cousin? I saw them together earlier."

My forehead creased immediately, my heart drubbed faster in nervous and pain. I

don't know what to think, I can just feel the pain.

"What?" Bhaltie gasped and glanced at me. "Cousin, who?"

"Patch? Patricia? I can't remember the name."

"Chancent's here? Sabi mo nasa New York?" tanong agad ni Bhaltie sa akin.
I inhaled and shook my head hesitantly. "I-I don't know... I thought so, too."

I wanted to cry but I don't wanna jump in conclusion anymore, I've learned my
lessons and I shouldn't care about it because we already broke up. Dapat wala na
akong pake kung nagsinungaling man siya tungkol doon, e. Pero ang sakit pa rin, na
inimporma niya akong pupunta ng New York para sa business trip pero nandito lang
pala sa Manila... at kasama si Patch.

All this time that I needed him, he was with someone else... maybe, catching up
together or Patch was comforting him.

We went to Jace's place, we had merienda together with his cousin, Zac—and had
little chitchat while waiting for Arki, I was trying to ignore what I heard from
Jace about Chance and Patch but my heart was still aching for it.

Hindi naman dapat iyon ang iniisip ko, dapat iyong mga naiwanan kong gulo sa
Miramontes pero ngayon mukhang nadagdagan na naman ng panibagong sakit sa puso at
ulo.

After me, Patch? Really? I thought he doesn't want a break with me, bakit ganoon
kabilis? Sila na ni Patch ang magkasama ngayon.

Izaac Vizcarra was more gentle than Jace Hontiveros or Zobel, nasanay na ako sa
naririnig kong screen name niya. Mas palatawa at approachable si Zac, siya iyong
tipong unang namamansin—hindi gaya ni Jace na kung hindi kakausapin ay mananahimik
at makikinig lang, nakikitawa rin kapag may nakakatawang usapan. They're both nice
in different ways, though. Halatang magpinsan naman sa kilos at pananalita na may
ibang pagkakapareho.

Kasama na namin si Arki na tumungo sa isang bar na hindi matao, iyon daw talaga ang
pinipili nila kapag kasama si Jace dahil madalas ay pagkaguluhan sa mataong lugar.
Although, they pushed Jace to wear a cap and hide his face for assurance. He wore a
black Champion hoodie, pants and sneakers with white cap and specs.

Eventually, I got used to be with these guys. Nakakausap ko si Zac madalas dahil
palagi niya akong tinatanong kaya nagkakaroon kami ng pag-uusapan. Arki met a girl
schoomate and brought her to our table, nag-uusap din sila roon habang si Bhaltie
ay umiinom lang at minsang naaabala sa kanyang cell phone. Jace was silently
roaming his eyes around.

"You won't step to law school now?"

I shrugged, Zac brought the glass to his lips and sipped on it while looking at me.

"Maybe... tatapusin ko na lang ang Polsci, marami namang puwedeng maging trabaho."

He nodded. "Well, you can still go to law school. It's entertaining, you know."

I chuckled. "I don't really know. Ang alam ko lang, pasakit iyon lalo pa at hindi
naman ako matalino."

"Wala iyon sa talino, it's on your dedication. It just needs a focus, anyone can be
a lawyer."

I agreed to it. Zac is really a soft talker, he was giving me some advices and
suggestions since I mentioned that I'd transfer school. I found myself laughing
with him as the time passes by, nakasali na rin sa usapan namin sila Bhaltie. Our
topic was all random, minsan tungkol sa trabaho ni Jace at napupunta na kung saan-
saan.

"Wanna go out and have coffee? You look tipsy already..." Zac asked.

Natawa ako at tumayo. "E, tipsy ka na rin. Huwag na. I'll just go to the powder
room."

Zac's lips sided, pumikit siya at sinandal ang batok sa back rest ng couch.
"Alright, be careful."

Tatawa-tawa akong nagpaalam kila Arki at tinanguan naman ako, the place was nice
and safe. Hindi gaanong karamihan ang tao gaya sa napuntahan ko noon at parang mga
kilalang tao ang narito kaya hindi nagkakagulo sa bawat isa.

Habang papasok ng banyo ay naaninag ko pa ang pamilyar na mukha ni Patch, she

looked busy with the girl she was talking to. Naglalakad sila palayo at mukhang
hindi na maayos ang paglalakad noong isang babae na hindi pamilyar sa akin dahil
hindi ko makita ang mukha.

Confirmed that she's here... damn it. Nasa iisang bar pa talaga kami. I don't wanna
have an interaction with her anymore, hangga't hindi pa ako nakakausad mula kay
Chance. Ayaw ko.

My chest heaved, I just laughed it and walked into the comfort room. I peed and
retouched my lipstick, ilang minuto akong nagtagal doon para magpakalma ng hilo
pero hindi magawang palinawin ang paningin. Lumabas na ako kahit ganoon, I was
blinking my eyes tightly and shaking my head to calm my drowsiness.

"Sileas..."

I gasped, I don't know what's happening but I heard Chance's voice. Hilo man ay
mabilis akong naghanap doon at natagpuan ko siya sa likuran, I blinked my eyes to
see him clearly and he didn't disappear.

"C-Chance," I held my breath and calmed my heart down.

He stepped closer and roamed his eyes quickly before looking at me again, para
akong matutunaw sa tingin niyang malamlam sa akin.

"What are you doing here?" he asked.

Iyon ang tanong na kumitil sa kasiyahan ng puso ko, I just feel like he doesn't
want me here or he wasn't happy to see me here. Is it because Patch was also here,
huh?

I shrugged normally. Gusto ko pa namang magsumbong sa kanya at ikuwento ang lahat

ng nangyari noong maghiwalay kami pero nasasaktan lang ako sa kaisipang wala siya
roon pero kasama niya si Patch dito.

"It should be what are you doing here? I thought you left for New York? That was
your last message." Sarkastiko akong natawa.

He looked tired and sleepy but it wouldn't be an excuse for what he's been doing
here, it wouldn't be an excuse to lie!

He sighed and was about to talk but someone suddenly hugged his waist from behind
and it was Patch, giggling as she pulled Chancent to face her.

"You're here!" she shrieked like a happy kid.

Chancent looked at me immediately and removed Patch arms around his waist, my heart
was dribbling madly and painfully at the same time. I wanted so bad to push her and
slap her but I shouldn't let my anger get me again.

"Oh, Pal? Hi!" Patch said when she saw me, she's really drunk. "What are you doing
here? Following Chancent?"

I gasped in disbelief, I feel so annoyed. "Of course not, Patch. I'm not a dog like
you."

I tried hard to ignore the madness and pain within me while looking at Chance, I wa
gritting my teeth.

"Excuse me? I'm not a dog!" Patch almost yelled as if she was insulted. "You're
more like a dog, following Chance in Manila? Talaga? Taga Davao ka, 'di ba?"

"Patch," Chancent cautioned sternly.

Tumawa si Patch. "I thought you were raised properly by your Miramontes fam, huh?"

My heart ached but I smiled.

"I am, Patch. Don't worry, I'm not here to follow Chance. Hindi lahat ng kilos ko
ay para sa kanya kaya huwag kang masyadong worried na magkabalikan kami, baka
madepress ka. Gusto mo, 'di ba?" I smirked. "Sayo na, desperada."

She gasped. Chancent's face darkened at that, I chuckled and rolled my eyes.
Mabilis ko silang tinalikuran doon, my eyes quickly watered while walking away.

Fuck them! Magsama silang dalawa!

I felt a tight grip around my wrist, wala pa man ay langhap ko na ang pamilyar na
amoy ni Chancent, I wriggled madly but he didn't let me go and dragged me as if the
ground was so free. Halos mabunggo ko ang ilang nakakasalubong habang dinadarag
niya ako.

"Let me fucking go, asshole!" I yelled in the middle of the bar's loud music.

Wala siyang naririnig at hindi ako binibitawan.

"Bitawan mo nga ako, putangina ka! Wala kang karapatang hawakan ako!" sigaw ko sa
frustrations habang pilit kumakawala. "Fuck my cousin, Chance! Tangina mo talaga!
Ayaw ko na sayo!"

"I'm not gonna fuck someone else, but you," he said bluntly.

My eyes widened and I wriggled more.

"No way in hell, motherfucker! I will never eat a trash like you!"

"You already did."

"What the fuck!? I will file a case against you! This is harassment! Let me go!" I
was in the verge of tears.

"We will fucking talk, Sileas. Let's fucking clean that dirty mind of yours."
#UM30
#UM30
I was wriggling from his hold and he never let go until we reached the parking
area, sa inis niyang pagbitiw sa braso ko ay siyang hampas ko sa kanyang dibdib at
tulak pero hindi siya natinag kahit kaunti—hindi rin sumalag at hinayaan ako sa
panggigigil ko sa kanyang masaktan.

"Gago ka talaga! Babaero! Pinsan ko pa talaga, Chancent!" gitil kong sigaw sa kanya
at suminghap. "Ex pa ng pinsan mo! Hindi ka na nahiya?"

His eyes were darkly looking at me, letting me trash talk him. I noticed his
outfit, he's wearing a white shirt and sweatshorts—he looks like he just woke up
from bed and it doesn't suit the place where I saw him.

"Ano, ha? Tinawagan ka ni Patch, 'no, para magpasundo dahil lasing na siya. Wow." I
smirked, calming myself. "I don't know why did I trust your last message and told
myself that I'd be better, too, after everything happened. You're a freaking liar."

"No, you never trusted me, Sileas. Stop fucking covering it using the goddamn
situation here because I never cheated on you even we broke up!" he hissed.

I shook my head. "No, liar asshole! Why don't you just fuck with her and let me
leave? Bakit mag-uusap pa tayo? Wala na 'tong saysay, Chance. Magpatuloy na lang
kayo ni Patch, bagay naman kayo."

Habang tumatagal ang tingin ko sa kanya ay lalong nagagalit ang kalooban ko kasabay
ng pag-iinit ng mga mata dahil sa pangungulila. Magulo man isipin ay iyon ang
nararamdaman ko, he's hurting me and making me miss him at the same damn time. I
wanted so bad to hug him and tell him every painful thing happened to my world
without him but I couldn't just be pathetic.

I hate that I still fucking love him.

Mariin siyang nakatitig sa akin at ramdam ko ang init ng inis niya sa pamamagitan
lamang noon, his jaw was clenching repeatedly as if he was ready to punch if I say
a word against him again.

Lumunok ako at pinigil ang emosyon, I took a step to leave but he gripped on my
wrist to take me back on the my ground.

"Iyan ang hirap sayo. Sarili mo lang ang parating pinaniniwalaan mo, you're an
aspiring lawyer, Sileas. Learn to fucking know the details before speculating."

My heart ached. See, he doesn't even know about it.

I rolled my eyes. "Well, to inform you, I'm not gonna be a lawyer anymore so... I
don't really  need to learn that. It's better to assume than expect that you're a
faithful man but a friggin' asshole behind me!"

Kumunot ang noo niya sa sinabi ko, nakita ko ang daplis ng pag-aalala sa mga mata
niya na tila maraming katanungan.

"Sino ba ang walang pasabi na hiwalay na pala tayo at humalik kay Heidden?" mariin
niyang sambit. "Pinsan ko rin naman iyon, pero hindi kita pinandirihan gaya ng
ginagawa mo sa akin ngayon, to think that I never kissed Patch in any fucking angle
behind you and I still love you even without so much explanation why you did it."

"Ilang beses kitang iniintindi dahil alam kong bata ka pa at magbabago pa ang mga
desisyon mo, sa atin, sa lahat... pero tangina, ngayon pakinggan mo ako." He licked
his lips and inhaled. "I went here to take my sister home because she's drunk there
with your cousin, she texted me that they can't drive anymore. Is that a sin,
Sileas?"

I gritted my teeth even though my insides were melting. He looked so annoyed but he
was controlling it while explaining things in a stern way, looking in my eyes
straightly. I was nervous while time's passing.

"And I did my last message to you, I went to New York for work but days ago, Mama
had an attack that made me go back here to see her. What else do you wanna hear?"
he asked and raised a brow when I didn't talk. "Come on, talk and prove a fucking
point. Where's the cheating there? Did you see me kissing Patch? Or anyone else?"
he sounds so sarcastic now.

My eyes watered, umiwas ako ng tingin at nagtiim bagang. Ilang segundo lang ay
nilingon ko ulit siya at sinamaan ng tingin, he was waiting seriously.

"E, ano iyong payakap-yakap sayo at gustong-gusto mo pa? Iyong tangang 'yon, ako pa
ang sinabihan ng aso na humahabol sayo? Ha!" I scoffed sarcastically. "Wala namang
kahabol-habol sayo..." pabulong-bulong kong dagdag at inirapan siya.

Mahal ko lang siya, iyon lang ang tanging kahabol-habol dahil ang hirap umusad pero
hindi ko iyon aaminin at baka lumaki pa ang tainga niya.

His chest heaved and bowed his head a bit but his eyes remained looking at me, his
lips twisted slightly.

I glared at him.

"'Tsaka ang tanga mo rin, alam mo namang may gusto sayo 'yon. Papansin ka, lapit ka
pa nang lapit! Tsss." Umirap ulit ako at nilampasan na siya para bumalik sa mga
pinsan ko sa loob, mabuti at medyo kumalma ang pag-iinit ng mga mata ko.

Naiinis pa rin ako sa kanya, naiinis ako kay Patch. Siya iyong pinsang buo ko at
ayaw kong may masabi sa akin ang mga Villareal kung sakaling mag-away kaming dalawa
dahil kay Chancent pero napupuno na talaga ako sa kanya, hindi ko alam kung ilang
espiritu ng kakapalan ng mukha ang sumapi sa kanya at panay ang lapit sa Chance ko.
Hindi niya yata naiintindihan iyon.

"You're not gonna go to law school anymore? Why?" he asked quietly that made me
stop.

I sighed and nodded without looking at him. I heard him sigh, too.

"I'm gonna get my sister there and take her home. Sino ang kasama mo sa loob?"

"Your sister and Patch, you mean?"

"They're staying in one condo, and..." He sighed like a defeat contender. "Okay,
I'll call a driver to drive her home."

Napairap ako sa hangin at tuluyan siyang iniwanan doon, mabuti naman at may
pakiramdam siya. Pero bakit? Wala na kami, hindi na dapat ako nakikialam doon. Pero
bahala siya, desisyon naman niya iyon. I don't like the idea of them together in
one car and drunk Patch would hug him to take advantage!

Wala na kayo, Sileas. Huwag kang pakealamera, ano namang pake mo kung yakapin siya?

Bumalik ako sa table namin nila Arki at alam kong babalik si Chancent sa loob para
kunin ang kapatid niya, there were two added unfamiliar guys in the table that I
noticed how good looking when Arki flashed his cell phone's light and the man shut
his eyes while pushing Arki's phone away.

"Stop that, man!"

"I told you, he has amethyst eyes!" Arki was laughing groggily.

"No way, that's contact lense!" Bhaltie said.

Tumawa si Zac. "Dude, that's so unreal!"

Nagtatawanan sila roon at maingat akong bumalik sa upuan, Jace was the first one
who noticed me—followed by Bhaltie and Zac that welcomed me.

"Did you throw up?" Bhaltie asked.

"Nah." Iling ko.

"Come're, Pal!" Arki said. "These are my friends from my old school, Vyper
Fuentabella and Chevy Saavedra."

I smiled at them and nodded to greet. Arki looked so proud introducing me.

"That's our girl cousin, Sileas Villareal."

They both greeted me back with a nod, it was a casual interaction with them. I
joined the round shots again, habang humahaba ang gabi ay mas nag-eenjoy ako kasama
sila.

I heard that Vyper is a graduating law student and Chevy is a med student, Arki has
a lot of friends here and I couldn't relate on what and who they were talking
about. Si Zac nga ay nakatulog na sa couch at si Jace ay kausap lamang si Bhaltie,
sila Arki ang may sariling mundo pero nakakatuwang makinig dahil tungkol sa
eskuwelahan naman ang usapan.

I drank my shot, I was slowly swaying my head with the melo music and closed my
eyes.

"Hey..."

I opened my eyes and looked at Jace who called me. He cocked his head a bit while
watching me.

"You fine?"

I smiled, he looked really nice even with specs on his eyes. Iba talaga ang dating
kapag modelo o artista, e. Masyadong angat, depina ang lahat at tila umiilaw. I
don't know what's with their skin and air.

"Yeah, I just love the music. It was melo!"

He smirked and nodded. "Good, if you wanna dance on the dance floor... don't let
anyone near you because some here are already touchy and you wouldn't like it."

"Puwede?" I asked like a kid, baka kasi pagalitan ako nila Arki.

He puckered his bottom lip and nodded. "Of course, if you want. We'll just keep an
eye."
Tumango-tango ako, I brought a chip in my mouth and chewed it. "Later!"

God, this really makes me feel so free. I love how I can do anything without anyone
stopping me for their image unlike my relatives in Miramontes' side. I sighed at
the thought, kumusta kaya si Gabanni? Iyong baby niya? Hindi ko siguro mapapatawad
ang sarili ko kung may nangyaring masama sa baby.

Damn. My heart ached badly, I closed my eyes and rested my nape on the back rest to
calm the consuming pain inside me. It suddenly felt like a lonely and dark night
with regretful whispers above my head, it was so fast to change the place realizing
how you badly hurt someone especially—my own sister and my probable niece or
nephew.

"Oh, what a nice crasher!" Arki laughed and the sarcasm made me open my eyes.

I found Chancent's frame, tumayo si Arki at halatang nabago ng presensya nito ang
kanyang mood kanina lang.

"Are you invited on this side?" Arki asked.

Chancent sighed and glanced at me, my heart was drubbing nervously. I don't know
what to say nor do.

"Archelaus," Bhaltie warned.

Arki was almost glaring and I could see the protective side of him, he doesn't want
Chancent here. Huminga ako ng malalim at tumayo pero kinunutan niya ako ng noo.

"Sileas, let's just go home. You're probably drunk," he said and quickly took my
sling bag. He patted his friends' shoulder to bid goodbye and looked at Bhaltie.
Nagtanguan lang sila.

I flinched as Arki held my forearm to leave, nilampasan namin si Chancent na

binangga niya pa sa balikat. Napalunok ako at nilingon si Chancent na sinundan kami
ng tingin, my heart hurt.

"Arki—"

"Don't even dare, Sileas. You're drunk and let him talk to you tomorrow in the
house. This isn't the nice place and situation."

Suminghap ako at nagyuko ng ulo, hindi na nagreklamo sa kanya dahil naiintindihan

ko kung bakit siya ganito. I told him how I wanted to run to Chance in the middle
of the mess when I didn't have anyone else and he heard from Bhaltie that he's
dating Patch after me. Hindi ko naman iyon pinagtakpan dahil wala akong alam at
galit din ako roon.

It was a good thing that I had the effect of alcohol and when we got home, I just
fell asleep straightly without thinking of my mess.

The next morning, I didn't forget the talk with Chance last night and I was sighing
while thinking of how I left him there. I took a quick shower to freshen up and
went downstairs to eat, nakita ko si Arki at Bhaltie na kumakain ng cereals sa
counter table—Tita Fili greeted me a good morning while cooking pancakes on the
other side of the kitchen.

"Good morning, anak!"

I smiled. "Good morning!"

"Prudence brought Philo to school so early for the flag ceremony, pabalik na rin
siguro iyon. Si Palmira, nasa sala at tulog."

Tita Fili is really cute, she always informs me the whereabouts of the people here
every morning.

"Sumabay ka na sa kanilang kumain, magluluto pa ako ng marami at matakaw iyang si

Bhaltie."

"Hindi ako matakaw!" giit ni Bhaltie, slang pa rin.

I nodded and chuckled.

Pupungas-pungas si Bhaltie, si Arki naman ay walang pang-itaas at kakaligo lang

dahil tumutulo pa ang tubig mula buhok. They greeted me, too, with a nod. I sat
beside Bhaltie, nilapagan niya ako ng saging sa harap.

Saktong pumasok mula sa back door si Jace na mula yata sa pagja-jogging at pawisan,
tinanggal niya ang suot na cap at pinasadahan pataas ng mga daliri ang pawisang
buhok. He looks so confident at all times as if nothing bad can throw at him.

Tita Fili's brows arched up.

"Good morning, Jace! Naku, ang guwapo-guwapong bata talaga nito kahit pawisan,
artistahin!"

Jace only chuckled.

Natawa ako, si Bhaltie sumimangot.

"Mabaho naman 'yan!"

Jace made a face. "That's impossible. You can even get my sweat to sell as
perfume."

"Parehas lang kayong mabaho, huwag na magtalo!" Arki grinned.

We laughed.

"Nasaan na si Zac? Nasa itaas pa ba?" Tita Fili asked.

"He already went home, Tita. May klase po kasi."

I started eating with them.

"Oo nga pala, dumaan kanina iyong ex boyfriend mo." Tita placed the plate of
pancakes on the table. "Nakausap ng Papa mo, kaso tulog ka pa kaya hindi rin
nagtagal dahil may meeting daw sa Tagaytay."

Napaangat ang tingin ko sa kanya, she was smilinh at me.

"Sa picture ko lang madalas makita iyon kapag pinopost mo, mabait at magalang pala
iyon! 'Tsaka nasa lahi na nila ang pagiging magandang lalaki."

"Nag-usap sila ni Papa?" mahina kong tanong.

"Oo, saglit lang bago ihatid si Philo. Kinukumusta ka, akala siguro gising ka na.
Baka bumalik iyon."
I just smiled a bit.

Shit, dapat pala maaga akong nagising kanina. I am sober now. Though, I don't know
what to say to him. I just wanna see him, and maybe, apologize for being immature
and for accusing him a lot of bad things without knowing his side.

Are we getting back together? Damn, I'm still rooting for us but I think we should
start again... for the better... or no, because I have lots of issues and mess
right now. I don't know, I just missed him real bad.

Bhaltie, Arki and Jace left the house after breakfast. May kaniya-kaniya silang
gawain na kailangan gawin kaya umalis din, naiwan naman ako at si Tita Fili sa
bahay. Nahihiya pa rin akong tawagin siyang Mama kaya madalas niya akong tinatama.

Tumulong ako sa kanya sa pagdidilig ng mga orchids niya at natutuwa akong kumilos
sa gawaing bahay dahil nawawala ang boredom ko kahit papaano, iyon lang ay takot
ako kay Palmir kaya hindi ako naaasahan sa pag-aalaga sa kanya. I just don't feel
like holding nor look after her.

"Sileas," tawag ni Papa sa akin nang mapadaan ako sa sala at naroon siya. Hinihele
si Palmira. "I bought you gadgets here to use so you wouldn't feel bored."

He pointed the laptop bag on the couch. I glanced at it and then him, I smiled.
Kahit gusto ko siyang lapitan ay hindi ko magawa dahil hawak niya si Palmira.

"Thank you, Pa." I took the bag. "I appreciate these."

"Wanna check the universities around?"

Nakaramdam ako ng hiya.

"I will—"

"I'm not telling you to do it now or tomorrow. I want you to adjust first before
going back to school. Just tell me if you need your papers already, aasikasuhin
ko."

I sighed. "Nasa Davao po lahat, Papa."

He smiled. "I'll take care of it."

I swallowed. "Paano po? Baka po magalit sila lalo sayo kung pupunta ka roon."

"I don't care about their rage, pupunta lang ako roon para asikasuhin ang mga papel
na kailangan mo."

I nodded and smiled hesitantly, tumalikod na ako para makaakyat.

Inabala ko ang sarili sa pag-aayos ng gadgets na binigay ni Papa sa akin at may

simcard na ang  iPhone doon, it was surprising that I got a call from unknown
number while I was organizing the clothes I bought yesterday. Huminga ako ng
malalim, kabado pa ako roon pero alam kong hindi iyon masamang balita dahil kay
Papa galing ito.

I answered it after the nth ring, I did not speak and let the caller talk first.

"Sileas..."
My heart raced rapidly. "C-Chance?"

He chuckled tiredly.

"Papa gave my number?"

"Yes. We had a talk earlier."

"Was it too good that he gave you my number easily?" I accused. I bit my bottom lip
to suppress my smile.

He chuckled again. "Confidential."

I pouted, hearing his voice makes me feel a lot better. Damn his effect after
making me cry!

"I just checked if this is really yours, sige na... tapusin ko lang ang meeting."

I gulped simply. "S-Sige..."

He told me to end the call, kahit ayaw ko ay pinutol ko na lang. Nasa meeting pala
iyon at tumawag pa. It made my day so smooth, after the call—I used the Macbook and
had a glimpse of the universities around Manila. Maybe, I can be in Rockwell
University where Arki graduated accountancy.

I was still thinking about it. Dahil nahinto ako ng ilang linggo ay baka marami
akong babalikang subject kapag nagtransfer na rito.

Kinagat ko ang ibabang labi at binagsak ang likuran sa kama, I stared at the
ceiling. Am I ready to continue without knowing what happened to Gabanni and Lolo?

My eyes heated, my phone vibrated on the side and I opened it to read.

Unknown Number:
This is Patch, can we meet tonight?

Kumunot ang noo ko, malamang ay kay Papa niya rin nakuha ang numero ko.

Ako:
For what?

Unknown Number:
I just wanna talk to clear things between us.

Ako:
Really? After what you did?

Nakakainis siya, hindi ko makalimutan ang mga ginawa niya at siya ang dahilan kung
bakit naging malabo kami ni Chance.

Unknown Number:
Meet me tonight or I'll tell Gabanni Miramontes where you are. You're gonna create
a big mess again between them and Villareals, shame on you.

My breathing halted, I couldn't find myself suddenly. I got so blinded by the fear,
what the hell? Is she seriously saying this? I'm so confused, I don't know what's
been happening and I'm sure that Villareals were covering me! Kaya ganito magsalita
si Patch, may alam na siya!
I cried silently. Ang takot ay lalong nabuhay sa akin at kahit alam kong protektado
ako rito ay hindi maiwasang isipin ang magiging gulo.
#UM31
#UM31

I was crying in fear, I just fixed myself before going down to get Papa's
permission for my leave.

"Where are you going?" he asked while busy typing on his Macbook, nasa sala pa rin
siya at inuugoy ang crib ni Palmira gamit ang kanyang paa.

I bit my lips, stopping my emotions. "Uh, mamimili lang po. May nakalimutan kasi
akong bilhin kahapon."

"I can drive you to the mall and wait until you're done."

"Huwag na, Pa. Ako na lang, gusto ko ring matutong umalis mag-isa. Hindi ko kasi
nagagawa ito sa Davao."

Tumingin siya sa akin at mabilis akong nagyuko ng ulo para magkunwaring abala sa
aking cell phone.

"Did Chance text you already?"

I nodded.

"Okay... are you gonna commute? Or book a Grab?"

"Commute, po." Though, I already booked a Grab.

He nodded, ilang saglit pang nagtagal ang panunood niya sa akin at kaswal lamang
ang kilos ko. Kalaunan akong nagpaalam sa kanya, si Tita Fili ay lumabas pala
kasama iyong kapatid niya kanina kaya hanggang ngayon ay wala pa.

Ayaw ko talagang magsumbong kay Papa, malaki na nga ang gulo kong nagawa at alam
kong nadadamay talaga siya sa lahat—hindi lang sinasabi sa akin. Sapat na itong
pagkuha niya sa akin mula sa puder nila, ayaw ko na makadagdag pa sa sakit ng ulo
niya lalo't kami ni Patch ang may iringan na pangit tingnan sa pamilya. Kami lang
yata ni Patch ang may ganitong sitwasyon, e. Sila Capri, tahimik at malalapit sa
isa't isa. Kami lang ang tanging nag-aaway, dahil pa sa lalaki.

Chancent:
Can I visit you tonight?

Chancent:
Kahit saglit lang.

Hindi ko sinagot iyong mga huli niyang texts sa akin, wala akong oras para isipin
iyon ngayon. Marami pa namang araw na magkakausap at makakapagkita kami.

Patch:
I'm at the parking area, I'll wait.

Nagpuyos ako sa galit at frustrations, I want to hurt her but I don't wanna make
another sin like what I did to Gabanni. Gusto ko na lang tapusin ang pag-uusapan
namin at kung ano mang demands niya, gusto ko nang manahimik at hindi iyon
mangyayari kung hindi kami magkakalinawan dalawa.

Narating ko ang parking area na sinabi niya, it was just on the condominium
building where she was staying with Nyxinea Estrevillo. Kabado akong patingin-
tingin sa paligid habang hinahanap si Patch, I walked faster to search for her and
I found her on the near end of the area.

Malamig ang simoy ng hangin at iyon ang nagpapatindig ng balahibo ko, naghahatid
kaba lalo sa aking dibdib. Nagsisigarilyo siya habang nakahilig ang likuran sa
bumper ng kanyang sasakyan, she's wearing a baby pink silky dress and a pair of
high heels—her hair was up in a clean bun.

I seriously loved Patch as my best cousin back then, I don't know what's happening
to us... dahil talaga kay Chancent ay nagkakaganito kami? This is really
ridiculous.

She met my eyes as I walked closer, tinapon niya ang sigarilyo at inapakan iyon
gamit ang kanyang takong. She smiled a bit.

My lips trembled but I forced myself to talk first.

"Come on, Patch. Tell me what you wanna talk about right now."

Tumitig siya sa akin, parang hindi ko makilala ang matalik na kaibigan at paborito
kong pinsan sa kanya. I feel like a stranger in her eyes.

"I hate you, Pallavi. I hate you for taking Chance even when I already told you all
the bad things about him."

"Iyan ba, Patch? Iyan lang ba talaga ang dahilan ng pag-aaway natin? Sa puntong
talagang tatakutin mo pa ako gamit ang problema ko, huh? You don't know how much
I'm scared of everything now and because of Chancent, you really used my weakness
and fear. Ano bang gusto mo?" pigil galit kong sambit. "Si Chance? Sayo na nga, 'di
ba? Hindi ko na kasalanan kung ayaw sayo."

Napakababaw naman noon, ang sakit na kaya niya akong isuko sa mga kinakatakutan ko
dahil lang kay Chance! I wasn't even forcing Chance to be with me now, he just
explained and we didn't get back together! Why does she seem so worried about my
presence here?

Suminghap ako. "Stop being a desperate bitch, Patch! Chance is in love with me and
you're just messing in between our relationship. Huwag kang makisawsaw sa relasyon
ng iba, hindi ka pinalaking ganyan! You should be ashamed, your parents didn't
raise a snake! You are not like that!"

Galit na galit ako, masama ang loob ko sa kanyang rason kung bakit niya ako pilit
ginugulo. Bakit kailangan niyang makisawsaw sa amin? Napakaraming lalaking
magkakagusto sa kanya, bakit kay Chance pa siya nagkakagusto at namimilit ng
sarili?

She glared at me, parang mananakit na ng pisikal.

"That's not the only reason! Ang malas mo kasi, Pallavi! Pati mga Villareal
nadadamay sa mga nagawa mo, hindi mo alam?" natawa siya. "Your father has a threat
and also my mom! I don't really know why you came here instead of hiding yourself
to another country! Dito mo pa talaga napiling magtago, sa naaabot pa rin ng mga
tinatakasan mo!"

My eyes widened shockingly. Fear invaded my system immediately, it was like venom
inside me.

"'Di ba, hindi mo alam? That's because Tito knows you're so scared to hear about
what we've been receiving from what you did! You killed your sister's baby, sa
tingin mo mananahimik iyon at ang ama noon? At ikaw nandito, parang walang masamang
ginawa!"

That made me tear up immediately, my heart ached severely and I suddenly can't
breathe. Tanging iling at hagulgol ang nagawa ko, ayaw paniwalaan ang mga narinig
na nakakabingi.

"I-I didn't—I didn't!"

"You did! The baby's dead and your grandfather's in a coma state, fighting for his
life and who knows if he's still breathing tomorrow?" sigaw niya. "You're in a big
bad mess and you're choosing to drag everyone here in danger!"

Umiling ako nang umiling habang umiiyak, hindi ako makapaniwala pero iyon nga yata
ang katotohanan sa mga naiwan ko. What the hell? I killed Gabanni's baby! Oh my,
God, I can't believe this... and Lolo? Fuck, I'm so fucked up.

"Don't wait for the time that they'll drag Chance, too! Pahamak ka kahit kailan!
Gagawa ka ng gulo at hindi mo pala kayang lusutan! Nananahimik ang mga Villareal at
bigla kang susulpot para magdala ng kamalasan! Mahiya ka naman at matakot sa
peligrong dala mo! Malas!" 

"Mommy wouldn't let t-that! I don't believe you!" hagulgol ko at mabilis tumakbo
paalis.

"Iyan, tumakbo ka, duwag! I hope you realize everything's happening here and hide
yourself to keep the people safe around you! Don't wait for the time when someone's
gonna die because of you, murderer!"

Takbo ako nang takbo habang umiiyak, sobrang sakit ng dibdib ko at hindi ko alam
kung paano lulunukin lahat ng nalaman ko. I need to run away from everyone, I don't
wanna drag them with my unholy mess. Damn it, I freaking hate myself. I killed an
innocent baby, my soul was probably burning in hell now.

My phone vibrated by a call, nanginginig ang mga kamay kong tinapat iyon sa aking
tainga habang tumatakbo.

"Sileas?" it was Chance's voice.

Nakaramdam ako ng paninikip ng dibdib at pag-ikot ng sikmura, nasuka ako sa tabing

daanan habang pinapakalma ang sariling nerbyos. Wala akong maisuka pero dahil sa
takot ang rason nito, I couldn't swallow everything I heard. I feel so bad and
mentally scared.

"C-Chance, n-natatakot ako!" I cried fearfully.

"Sileas, where are you? What's happening?" he called worriedly.

I was crying badly. "Natatakot ako. Hindi ko sinasadya!"

Nagmura siya habang tinatawag ang pangalan ko at may mga tinatanong siya na hirap
kong maintindihan dahil sa kaguluhan ng isip ko.

"Sileas, Sileas, calm down! And fuck, tell me where you are!"

I was shaking my head and crying.

"Damn it, Sileas!" he hissed.

"Chance, please! I wanna run away!"

He gasped heavily, followed by harsh profanities before he spoke again.

"Yes, baby... we will. Please, calm down. Please," he begged in a controlled voice.

I gasped, slowly breathing to calm down my sobs. "I-I wanna run away, please. I'm
scared."

"We will, I promise. Tell me where you are, I'm gonna get you right away and we'll
do that," nagpapakalma niyang sambit.

I fearfully looked around, marahan kong hinampas ang dibdib kong panay ang
pagkalabog at sinabi sa kanya kung nasaan ako. Naupo ako sa gutter at tinago ang
mukha sa mga tuhod, he didn't end the call and he resumed comforting me with his
words while he was driving.

I'm in a sedate place, kaunti ang nadadaang tao at wala pang namamansin sa akin.
Tanging ilaw ng ilang poste ang nagbibigay liwanag sa kadiliman.

Unti-unting nanahimik ang hagulgol ko habang pinapakinggan siya, ilang minuto

lamang ay nahanap niya ang kinaroroonan ko. Agad akong tumayo mula sa pagkakaupo sa
gutter at inangatan ng tingin ang pagbaba niya sa sasakyan. He walked quickly
towards me—I could see the worry in his eyes while looking at me that made me run
to hide myself in his arms, I buried my face on his chest as I cried my fear out.

"Please, I wanna hide."

He held my nape and pushed me more on his chest, he enveloped me in his arms
tightly.

"Alright, baby. We'll do that. Come on..." he said gently even though he sounds
worried and mad, he carefully carried me up like a kid who doesn't wanna let go of
him until he put me in his car.

I saw how his eyes softened as he watches me, I was shaking. He gently caressed my
back and kissed my forehead, cheeks and nose.

"I'm here..." he whispered. "Hindi kita papabayaan, Sileas."

I sobbed and nodded slowly, natatakot man ako ay tiwala ako roon dahil ilang beses
na niyang napatunayan sa kabila ng lahat ng pasakit ko sa kanya.

My fear calmed down as we reached the basement parking area of a condominium

building, Chancent was holding my hand while walking through the hallways. I
couldn't talk about it yet, sobrang gulong-gulo ako kahit malinaw naman ang mga
narinig ko kay Patch.

I know that Papa will never let me get through this alone but I'm scared that he
might be in danger because of me. Lalo pa na mainit talaga siya sa mata ng mga
Miramontes, paano pa kaya kung tinimbrehan na nila ang mga koneksyon nila? Fuck, I
didn't mean to kill Gabanni's innocent baby. I was mad and it was a defense since
she hurt me first, hindi ko matanggap na sobrang sama ng resulta noon.

Panay ang tingin ni Chance sa akin habang tinatahak namin ang pasilyo, he has a
unit here for sure. Naiiyak pa rin ako pero pilit kong pinipigil ang emosyon
hanggang sa marating namin ang kanyang unit, he opened it using his finger print
and the familiar manly scent of the place welcomed my nostrils. Kusang nagbukas ang
ilang dim lights sa loob, I saw a typical man's pad but the furnitures are more
luxurious here than his pad in Davao. Pumasok kami roon at marahan niya akong
iginiya sa couch para paupuin, he went onto the counter area to get a water in the
fridge and went back to me.

His eyes never left me as I drank the glass of water he gave me, huminga ako ng
malalim at nilapag ang baso sa table. Medyo kumalma ang kalabog ng dibdib ko pero
hindi ang kaisipan tungkol sa nagawa kong kasamaan.

"What happened, Sileas?" he asked.

"P-Patch and I talked," simula ko.

Nag-igting ang pang niya at tumalim ang mga mata.

"I-I killed my sister's b-baby, I k-killed it."

Chance doesn't know a thing about my issues in Davao, hindi niya rin ako
maiintindihan.

He sighed. "Not your fault, it was a defense, right?"

Napakurap-kurap ako sa kanya. Alam niya ba?

"Mr. Villareal told me about it," he said with a small sigh.

I gasped and shook my head, my eyes started watering again. Papa trusts this man,
he seriously told him that kahit alam niyang wala na kami!

"She hurt me first, a-and I just fought back. I didn't mean to hurt her baby. I
didn't know she was pregnant," nauutal kong sinabi.

Hindi ko sinabi lahat ng nilalaman ng mga narinig ko kay Patch, ngayon pa lang ay
natatakot na ako para sa lahat. Ano bang mas dapat? Manatili o harapin na lang
iyon? O magtago hanggang sa mawala na ang takot ko? Hindi ko na alam.

Ang sakit, ang saklap. Kung alam ko lang... hindi ko siya lalabanan, kung alam ko
lang na may inosente siyang dala sa sinapupunan ay hindi ko gagawin iyon. Hindi
lang iyon, hindi na sana ako nakipagtalo pa sa Lola ko dahilan ng atake ni Lolo.

Mommy's surely mad at me, too.

I wasn't sure when did I stop crying and begging him to hide me, I fell asleep in
his arms and woke up at twelve midnight. Maingat akong tumayo mula sa kama at
sinapo ang aking ulong kumikirot, I slowly walked towards the slightly opened door.

I saw Chancent's wide back on the main door frame, wearing a navy blue shirt and
Papa was standing outside—seems like he's about to leave. Kumunot ang noo ko, may
ilang sinabi pa si Papa na tinatanguan naman ni Chance bilang sang-ayon bago
tuluyan iyong namaalam.

It was so slow yet so fast for me, parang gusto kong tumakbo sa kanya pero
nanghihina ako.

Huminga ako ng malalim nang maisara ang pinto roon, hindi ko na hinintay pang
humarap si Chance at bumalik ako sa kama. I sat on the edge while massaging my
head, minutes have passed when Chancent entered the room.

"Headache?" he asked and went in front of me, he kneeled there and held on my right
knee—his other hand touched my forehead and neck. "Bili ako ng gamot."

"I'm fine," sambit ko at nilapatan siya ng tingin sa harapan ko.

His eyes were still worried. I smiled a bit.

"Matutulog lang ulit ako, wala na ito bukas."

"You didn't eat anything yet, can you eat first before going back to sleep?"

I shook my head. "Hindi naman ako gutom. I just feel really sleepy and tired.
Nagising lang ako, akala ko kasi umalis ka."

He pursed his lips and nodded slightly while watching me.

My heart was melting at his presence in my own chaos, I wanted to ask about Papa
but I decided to be silent. He forced me to eat even a little, I just asked for a
water and I went back to sleep that time because I have no appetite.

Kinabukasan na ako nagising at naabutan siyang may kausap sa cell phone habang
niluluwagan ang kanyang neck tie, he's wearing a white button down shirt and a
slacks. Nakita ko ang itim niyang coat sa couch at doon ko napagtanto na kararating
niya lang.

I blinked my heavy eyes and sat up to roam my eyes around and find a clock. Alas
tres na ng tanghali! Nakapasok at uwi na siya galing trabaho? Ngayon lang talaga
ako nagising!

I met his eyes when I looked at him, wala na siyang kausap sa cell phone at nilapag
iyon sa side table.

"Get up," he demanded.

"Sorry, I was asleep the whole time! I didn't even know you left!" nahihiya kong
sinabi at gumapang na patungo sa dulo ng kama para makababa.

"You skipped a lot of meals, you need to eat. Magpahinga ka na lang ulit pagtapos."

I nodded. "Uh, can I use the bathroom?"

He almost glared at me as if the question annoyed him but he nodded. I walked

towards the bathroom.

"Do you have extra toothbrush here?" my face was heating while asking that because
we already shared the same toothbrush when we were together then.

"Yeah, in the drawer."

I nodded shyly and went inside the bathroom, ilang minuto rin ang tinagal ko roon
sa paghihilamos at toothbrush. Tiningnan ko ang sarili sa salamin, I looked so
plain and pale. Cell phone ko lang ang dala ko kaya wala kahit pangkulay man lang
sa labi. Lumabas ako ng banyo, wala na siya sa kuwarto kaya lumabas na rin ako.

His pad was so bright in the afternoon and it doesn't have many divisions to hide
the parts of the place that made it look more spacious, Chance was preparing the
table on the other side, nakapagpalit na siya ng puting shirt pang-itaas pero
nakaslacks pa rin.

"I don't have time to cook and the breakfast I left for you was already cold," he
informed. "I just took these food from home, Mama cooked them."

I nodded and sat down, tumungo siya sa tabi ko at hinainan ako ng pagkain. I
couldn't help but remember the old times, hindi pa naman kami matagal naghiwalay
pero miss na miss ko iyong pag-aalaga niya gaya nito. Hindi na siguro mawawala sa
kanya ito.

After eating, I stood up and started cleaning the table—sinasanay ko na ang sarili
nitong nakaraan sa gawaing bahay, lalo na roon kila Papa dahil nakikita ko kung
gaano kasipag si Tita Fili. Madalas din tumulong si Papa, namamangha ako kapag
nakikitang ganoon sila dahil kahit kailan ay hindi ko namataan ang ganoong tagpo sa
mga Miramontes. I grew up with housemaids who were taking care of our house and
food, and drivers to take us anywhere.

Chancent didn't stop me but I saw how his eyes watch me as if it was so brand new
to witness, bumusangot lamang ako at nagpatuloy sa sink para ilapag doon ang mga
pinggan. Tumayo rin siya at sinundan ako.

"I'll wash the dishes," he insisted. "Magpahinga ka na lang. You were so drained
last night."

"Kaya ko naman, nagsasanay ako sa ganitong gawain."

He gasped in amusement. "Why do you need that?"

I shrugged. "Wala lang. Gusto ko lang talagang matuto."

"I know, baby—I mean, Sileas, but let's not argue about this. I'll do this and
you'll rest."

My face heated as he gently pushed me to the side by his arm and positioned in
front of the sink to start the chore.

I sighed and just watched him, alam ko namang sanay siya sa gawaing bahay dahil
nasabi niya noon na kahit may kasambahay sila ay hindi sila sinanay ng Papa at Mama
nila na dumipende roon.

"I'm sorry..." I said in a whisper while watching him washing the plates.

Nagtaas siya ng kilay at patagilid na sumulyap sa akin.

"For what?"

I took a deep breath.

"For k-kissing Heidden because I was mad at you. I got mad because Patch called me
to ask if we're together, naiwan mo raw ang cell phone mo sa kanya at siya ang
naghatid sayo sa airport. I'm sorry for being so immature, I didn't think about you
and your explanation. I just assumed that you were fooling me, besides, I was so
crowded with my family issues that time. I just wanted to hurt everyone who made me
feel bad."

My heart was twisting inside my chest, para akong maiiyak dahil sa lahat ng
nararamdaman ko at napagtatanto habang iniisip ang lahat ng pagkakamali. Ang bilis-
bilis ng pangyayari, kailan lang ay wala akong pakealam sa lahat at nang magresulta
iyon ng masasamang pangyayari ay saka ko pinagsisisihan na nagpadala ako sa sama ng
loob at galit.

Tumigil siya sa paghuhugas ng pinggan at pinunasan ang mga kamay niya, pinahinga
niya ang isang palad sa lababo at tinuon ang atensyon sa akin.

My lips dried, I licked it and took a deep breath again to calm my emotions.

"I'm sorry for not listening, I'm sorry for not improving. Hindi ko alam, e. Nadala
na ako sa lahat, kahit alam kong mali ay nagawa ko pa rin dahil sa emosyon. Now
that I k-killed Gabanni's baby, I don't know how to apologize and be forgiven.
Iyong Lolo ko, inatake rin sa puso dahil sa akin."

He lifted his hand onto the side of my neck, caressing it gently to comfort me. I
could feel his warmth, it was comforting me in a really good way.

"You did not," he said sternly. "You didn't kill anyone, stop thinking about it. It
was a clear defense, believe that."

Nagyuko ako ng ulo. He sighed.

"It was your sister's responsibility to take care of her baby but what did she do?
She provoked you, she hurt you first that you made a defense."

I shook my head, stopping myself to be emotional. Tama na, ayaw ko na umiyak at

malunod sa emosyon.

"I just wanna live alone, Chance. I wanna improve myself to be a better person
after everything but I don't want to be c-caught right now." I gasped heavily. "Or
never, I know that I should suffer in jail for doing it but... I didn't mean it,
ayaw kong makulong."

He licked his lips while looking at me, he looked stressed and problematic in a
calm way.

"Marry me..."

I looked up at him in surprise. "W-What? Hindi mo ba narinig ang sinabi ko?"

"Do you love me?" he asked seriously.

I gasped but I nodded, anyway.

"Then, that's the option with two choices. Marry me."

"Two choices?" I asked in confusion.

He chuckled a bit, it sounds painful but determined.

"If you wanna run away without anyone, I'll let you do that but marry me first. Or
you'll run away with me, we'll grow up and improve together and marry me."

My heart skipped a beat, tears pooled my eyes while looking at him in awe.

"Come on, I wanna hear your answer. Tatanggapin ko kahit ano sa dalawa, sabi mo
mahal mo ako... it might be too selfish but I want assurance, Sileas. If you wanna
start a new life to improve and grow independently, I will set you free with a ring
on our fingers. There will be no love after us."

That made me chuckle and shake my head a bit in amusement, I cried quietly and
closed my eyes.

"Can I have a minute to think?"

He didn't smile nor react, he just watched me—his eyes were filled with sadness and
determination as if he's so ready to hear whatever my answer is.
#UM32
#UM32

I closed my eyes while listening to the music, marahan kong inubob ang pisngi sa
mesa at nagbuga ng mabigat na paghinga.

I'm fucking stressed. I don't know where to put my stress out and relax, it was
hard to relax, though.

I exhaled when my cell phone vibrated, I answered it calmly without looking.

"Hello, anak!" Tita Fili's sweet and cheerful voice was the first one I heard.

"Hi, Mama." I smiled. "Sorry if I didn't get to answer your calls for the past
weeks. I was so busy with work."

"Ayos lang! So how is it to be a Legal Assistant, hmm?"

I gasped out.

"Really stressing but I'm enjoying it."

"Wow, that's good! At least you're enjoying your work, masasanay ka rin diyan kapag
tumagal pa. I believe in your skills and patience!"

That made me smile again. "Thank you so much, Mama. I really appreciate the
motivation you're giving me!"

"You're always welcome, you need it to be powerful!" she laughed. "Anyway,

Grethalia asked a favor, nak."

"Ano po 'yon?"

"E, heto kasing si Grant. Alam mo naman na gustong-gusto ka, kung puwede ka raw
bang dumalo sa birthday celebration niya. Nahihiya kasing mareject, e. Sa akin na
diniretso."

I blinked. "Kailan po ba?"

"Fili, stop pushing your nephew to her-"

"Ugh, I'm not pushing it, Prudence! Stop accusing me, gusto ko lang makatipid!
Presensya na lang ni Pallavi ang regalo ko, 'tsaka safe iyon! Grant is a good man
with a great profession. It's not bad to date-"

Papa laughed. "See? That's not pushing and rooting, Fili! You should stop that!"

"You should stop sticking your nose here, Pallavi is the one who'll decide!"

Napailing ako habang natatawa sa pagtatalo nila.

"Okay, Mama. I'll be there, huwag na kayong magtalo." I chuckled.

I heard Papa's gasp. "Grant is a good man but you just knew him for months! Stop
spoiling the Mama here!"
Mama groaned and I heard the hits she made, followed by Papa's laughter.

It's been long four years since I moved out of the Philippines, I moved in Canada
and resumed school there to finish my last year in college as PolSci student and
got my degree. After graduating, I worked as an office staff which was easy for me—
that was my job for two years that I really enjoyed and eventually decided to get a
training for Legal Assistant in the firm since Arki suggested me to, I finished it
after long months and got a job as it is 'til now.

Hindi lang ako masanay-sanay kahit taon na rin iyon. Paano pa kaya kung nag-law
talaga ako? Siguro, ang dami ko ng puting buhok ngayon kung sakali.

I could still remember how it happened possibly, Mommy got me covered from her
family and gave everything I needed to Papa—like the papers I needed to leave the
country and all, iyon lang ang pinili kong dinggin sa mga sinabi ni Papa bago
umalis ng Pilipinas dahil ayaw ko talagang marinig ang tungkol sa mga gulong nagawa
ko. I was afraid to hear that, thinking that I was about to live independently.

However, I couldn't believe that Mommy still covered me from her family after
everything... I don't know, I just felt nothing even with her help that time. I
never answered calls and emails from her, I did not feel like doing it. Maybe
because of the grudges but still, I don't have a face and voice for her.

For four years, I focused on myself and my goal was to concentrate to be better
alone, to move on—to graduate college, to have a job and to be happy; most
especially, to be proud of myself without the need of other people to tell me that.

Buong buhay ko kasi noon ay iyon parati ang inaasahan ko sa pamilya, sa Mommy ko at
sa mga Miramontes na hindi pala tama. I shouldn't have let them get into my hopes
while studying well, ang lagay kasi noon sa kahit anong anggulo ay nag-aaral akong
mabuti para lang sa kanila at sa sasabihin nila. I hoped too much that at the end
of my hardwork, they would be proud and tell me how good I am but it never happened
that made me feel all the sadness, disappointment and insecurities.

I was so wrong... I realized too late but the important part is that I learned from
everything, still learning, growing and improving while living independently.

Days rounded by, the case I was reviewing for a week got settlement eventually.
Attorney Ongkiko informed me that he'd take a leave this morning, wala naman akong
reklamo roon dahil pabor pa iyon. Sa susunod na araw ang selebrasyon ni Grant at
kailangan kong mamili ng susuotin para roon, Grant is Tita Fili's nephew from her
younger sister.

Capriana:
Welcome me!

Kumunot ang noo ko habang nililigpit ang mga gamit sa lamesa, pinagpatong-patong ko
ang folders doon at sinukbit na ang bag sa aking balikat bago nilisan ang cubicle.

I typed a reply.

Ako:
Welcome?

Capriana:
Boring! Welcome me with confetti!

Ako:
Hindi ko magets.
Capriana:
Slow! Nasa Canada ako! Alangan magpawelcome ako sayo sa Pilipinas while you're in
Canada? Hello!

I flinched, oo nga naman. Bakit hindi ko agad nakuha iyon?

Ako:
Sorry, Capri. Hindi ko lang inexpect.

Natuwa ako agad, I wanna meet her and talk to her. Madalas kasi ay sa chat lang
kami nagkakausap sa lumipas na mga taon, madalas akong magreply sa IG stories niya
pero kapag kasali si Patch ay nananahimik ako. I don't wanna see her, they seemed
really close in pictures but I never had hard feelings to their closeness. Parang
natrauma na ako sa inggit at ayaw ko na lagyan ng selos ang lahat ng nakikita ko sa
mga pinsan at ibang tao hanggang sa natutunan ko rin iyon. Ang hirap kasi kapag may
inggit sa katawan at isip, maraming pumapasok na negatibong salita at nakakapanakit
iyon.

Gaya ni Patch. Naintindihan ko na kung bakit ganoon na lang ang galit niya, she was
full of insecurities and jealousy that made a dark hole in her heart and mind.
Natabunan na siya noon, at naging ganoon din naman ako kaya alam ko ang epekto. We
went both in that stage, nasaktan niya ako at nakagawa ako ng kaguluhan sa pamilya.
It was all because of insecurities and jealousy.

Capriana:
That's fine. I'm with Patch and Dia, anyway. Let's meet here! We miss you!

Huminga ako ng malalim, bumagal ang paglalakad ko habang palabas ng firm at nag-
iisip ng excuse kay Capriana. Damn, she's here, too.

Ako:
I can't, sorry. Busy ako.

Capriana:
Makulit ako, Sileas. Don't wait for me to ask your address and we'll have a unit
raid! Minsan lang 'to, three days nga lang kami rito eh! Please!

Ako:
We can meet but I don't think I can be nice with Patch, I don't wanna ruin your
stay here.

Even though I understand her side, I can't still forget how she badly downed me and
it created a wound in my heart.

Capriana:
Ay, why? It's been years, hindi ko inasahan na ganyan katagal ang tampuhan niyo.
Sabi niya may hindi lang kayo pagkakaintindihan bago ka umalis, bakit naman umabot
ng ilang years?

Ako:
Tampuhan? Sinabi niya talaga 'yan?

I wanted to laugh at the word, tampuhan lang pala iyon? Tampuhan na sinabihan niya
ako ng malas at mamamatay tao? At iba pang masasakit na salita? Tampo lang iyon?
Ilang taon na nga pero nakatatak pa rin iyon sa akin, e. Masakit pa rin dahil
galing kay Patch na matalik kong kaibigan sa magpipinsan.

Capriana:
Yes. I never thought it would be this too long! Come on, magbati na kayo!

Ako:
I'm sorry, Capriana. Pero baka masampal ko lang siya pag nagkita kami ngayon at
magalit pa kayo ni Diamante sa akin.

Capriana:
Oh my gold, mukhang malala? You're talking about physically hurting her, what did
she really do?

Ako:
Basta, pasensya na. Sa susunod na lang tayo magkita at mag-usap. I miss you, too.

Capriana:
Okay, I'll make a way later. I'm gonna chat you again.

I sighed heavily, nag-cab lang ako pauwing apartment nang tanghaling iyon at hindi
maiwasang isipin kung ano kayang pinagsasabi ni Patch kila Capriana. Wala naman
kasing alam ang mga pinsan ko roon, o mayroon iyong iba pero hindi na siguro
pinalala pa... o baka nga wala talaga at si Patch lang ang mayroon.

Hindi ko talaga alam, si Papa at Tita Patience lang naman ang nakatanggap ng threat
noon ayon kay Tita Fili.

Habang naglalakad sa pasilyo ay namataan ko agad ang pamilyar na bulto ni Zac, he's
wearing a gray button down shirt tucked in his black slacks with black leather belt
—his faded sides hair was down softly, nakapamulsa siya at nakasandal sa gilid ng
pinto ng unit ko.

"Zac..." I called while waking towards him.

His head quickly turned to me, he smiled a little.

Okay, damn. I'm not liking this.

"Pal," he called softly.

"Kanina ka pa rito?" tanong ko at binuksan ang pinto para makapasok sa loob.

He followed me and closed the door behind.

"Hindi naman, susunduin sana kita kaso sabi mo pauwi ka na."

I nodded and went to the fridge to drink a glass of water.

"Problema?" I asked after downing the glass.

Kinuha niya ang baso ko at doon din nagsalin para uminom ng tubig, umiling siya
habang umiinom.

"Nothing. I just passed by to see you, it's my last day here. I can't believe
you're not saying you'll miss me!"

Natawa ako. "Bakit ko sasabihin iyon?"

He laughed, too.

"Okay, enough. Well, I have a problem."

"What is it?"

Tumitig siya sa akin at hinilig ang isang palad sa counter table, nagbuntong-
hininga siya.

"I wanna know if I have a chance to court you since I don't really do that kind of
thing, I'm fucking clueless how to see the advantage," he admitted it so formally.

Minsan mahirap din intindihin itong si Zac, may mga times na kakaiba ang aura niya
at parang mahirap kausapin at may mga araw rin na sobrang cheerful niya naman.
Well, he's human. May mga problema rin siya na hindi lang binobroadcast kaya siguro
paiba-iba.

I exhaled and flinched.

"Zac, I like you because you're so nice and if you're really asking that—well yes,
you have a chance. Everyone has, but I'm not yet ready."

Hindi naman sa hindi ako handa pero gusto ko munang masigurado ang lahat, hindi pa
iyon masisigurado hangga't hindi ko nakikita si Chancent Estrevillo ulit. Ayaw kong
paasahin si Zac at hindi pa naman importante sa akin ang ganoong bagay, masyado
akong busy sa trabaho ko. Wala akong oras sa pakikipagdate.

He nodded understandingly.

Zac and I became friends for a long time now and we really vibe that made me so
comfortable everytime he's around. I like him as a friend, I adore him for being a
nice man that I can count on always. He studied in Canada, we met here unexpectedly
when he was working as restaurant crew where I had a lunch—that was my third month
in Canada. I couldn't believe that at first, it seemed like a bluff because who
would have thought that Izaac Zobel Vizcarra—a member of powerful and wealthy
family would work as a crew when he could even own a restaurant in just a snap of
his fingers?

Zac is undeniably ideal, I like his ways how to learn step by step and I remember
someone like him. Ang kaibahan lang ay nakita ko kung paano iyon ginagawa ni Zac
habang iyong isa ay successful na noong makilala ko.

And for the record, I didn't marry Chancent. I did not give assurances because I
know that I don't deserve him yet... and things do not stay permanently. I didn't
wanna put hopes on us, on him and myself, I don't want assurance—I want things to
flow willingly without leaving things behind; waiting for a comeback.

Everything has no assurance. Everything is temporary. We don't even know if

tomorrow is another day or the last day, I don't want that scenario. I don't wanna
leave things and people with promises, it's selfishness.

Tama siya, sa kanya ko rin mismo nakuha ang mabuting desisyon.

"I love you, Chance, but I can't accept it. I want my choice and it's not there..."
I sighed while looking at him, tears were pooling in my eyes. "I don't wanna give
you assurance because there's no permanent and I'd be selfish if I promise you
something that's fading. Paano ako mangangako ng kasiguraduhan kung wala naman
talagang palaging panalo sa ganito, Chance?"

He was just listening, kitang-kita ko ang frustrations sa kanyang mga mata pero
hindi ako pinigilan sa pagsasalita.

"Mahal kita, mahal mo ako, madaling sabihin pero mahirap panatilihin sa loob ng mga
panibagong pagsubok habang magkalayo tayo. We both don't know what will happen in
the future days." I sobbed. "I want to be free, I wanna start my life without
everything. Sana naiintindihan mo ako. This love we have today might change the
next day, Chance. Ang hirap, e. Ang hirap magbigay ng assurance dahil ayaw kong sa
bandang huli, parehas tayong masasaktan."

Pumikit siya at nagyuko ng ulo, marahan kong hinaplos ang buhok niya at batok—
ramdam ko ang nakabalot na frustrations at desperasyon sa kanya na ayaw iboses. I
inhaled and kissed the top of his head.

"Please, don't ever hold yourself from loving someone else while we're apart.
Promise me..."

I know how much he loves me, napatunayan ko iyon ngayon sa mga binigay niyang
choices at option sa akin. Ayaw ko naman na habang nagmomove on ako ay stuck siya
sa aming dalawa, I want to challenge love and if this love will stay within me
after the process—I'll be happy to meet him again, I just wanna live with no
grudges, left promises and all. I want to walk through the right flow... kung saan
man ako dadalhin, doon ako at hindi na muling liliko sa mas magulong agos. Gusto
kong ganoon din ang gawin niya.

"No, please..." he shook his head gently as he whispered that. "Hindi na uso 'to,
Sileas. Hindi na uso iyong lalayo mag-isa para mag-grow. Why don't we grow and
improve together?"

This is the first time I heard him like this, I've always known him as mature and
very positive man.

"We can do that, baby..." he whispered out of frustration.

"Pero, Chance, hindi ako matututo kung palaging may kasama. I don't want that
process, anymore. Bumabagal ang paglalakad ko, nahihirapan ako lalo," pilit kong
pagpapaintindi sa kanya.

Huminga siya ng malalim at inangat ang kamay ko sa kanyang labi, nakapikit lang
siya habang nagpapakalma roon. He looked so hurt that it stabbed my heart, too.

"Damn, I'm fucking desperate," he groans and gasps. "I just love you so much. I get
everything you're pointing, I just can't help it. Ang hirap, Sileas. Sinabi ko na
rin naman sa sarili ko na hahayaan kita, pero ang hirap palang gawin. I'm afraid of
everything. I want us to last that I want you to marry me already, I'm sorry for
not thinking about your choice."

I nodded and smiled a bit, his arms embraced me and he rested his forehead on my
shoulder while sighing heavily.

"If this makes you happy, I will gladly let go again... for the second and last
time, Sileas. I'm setting you free again. This time, please, be happy without
thinking of other people but yourself." He lifted his head to look at me in the
eyes straightly, he looked so broke but he smiled. "I love you."

I held on his jaw and kissed him on the lips.

"I love you and I'm letting you go, Chance. Please, never hold back because of me."

His eyes teared up, he licked his lips and nodded slowly.

That was my most cherished day because it made me really free from guilt and
everything, bukod pa roon na alam kong nasa likuran ko lang si Mommy at tahimik na
pinoprotektahan ang pag-uumpisa ko sa ibang bansa kaya siguro hindi ako nalalapitan
ng kahit sino. I know that, Papa never hid it from me.

Hindi ko alam kung anong mabuting ginawa ni Mommy sa kanya pero kahit kailan ay
hindi niya iyon siniraan sa akin, kahit alam niyang masama ang karanasan ko sa
puder nila ay hindi niya iyon pinatibay sa isip ko tuwing tinatawagan ako at
pinapaalalahanan.

I was busy eating noodles while reading some cases when my buzzer rang, huminga ako
ng malalim at tinanggal ang reading glasses ko bago tinungo ang pinto para buksan.
Baka delivery iyon pero agad namilog ang mga mata ko nang makita si Jace, he's
wearing a color bubble gum hoodie, ripped pants and a white cap on his head.

Matatakot na sana ako sa pag-aakalang hitman pero inangat niya agad ang tingin kaya
nawala ang pangamba ko, he looked so lazy and tired.

"Jace!" I gasped and looked at the hallways before I opened the door widely.

He sighed and stepped in, siya na mismo ang nagsara ng pinto at ako naman ay
nakasunod ng tingin sa kanya—nauna siyang naglakad at naupo sa couch bago tinanggal
ang kanyang cap.

"Anong nangyari sayo?" sunod ko sa kanya, naupo ako sa kaninang puwesto ko.

He shrugged. "I went out to eat somewhere."

Natawa ako at naintindihan. "Ah, hinabol ka na naman ng fans mo?"

Hindi siya nagsalita tungkol doon at ginala ang tingin.

"Did you cook?" he asked and realized that I didn't when he saw my cup noodles.
"Damn, wrong place to run."

Humalakhak ako. "Wala na si Zac, wala ka nang mapupuntahan kapag may photoshoot
dito sa Canada. Hindi rin ako palaluto ng pagkain kaya sorry ka na lang. 'Tsaka
puwede ba, Jace? Kapag pupunta ka rito, magtext ka naman! Nakakatakot kaya, akala
ko delivery boy tapos nung binuksan ko mukhang hitman!"

He rolled his eyes sluggishly. Sinuot ko ang salamin sa mata at ngumiwi siya habang
nakatingin sa akin, pinasadahan niya ako ng tingin hanggang hita.

"Do you usually welcome visitors here with that outfit?"

Napatingin ako sa suot ko, I'm wearing a baby pink silky spaghetti strap top and
cycling shorts. Magulong nakaponytail ang buhok ko at hindi pa naaalis ang pulang
lipstick mula kanina.

"Wala naman akong inaasahan sa ganitong oras kaya nagbihis na ako ng pantulog,
bakit?" lito kong tanong.

"You look like a professor porn babe," he said bluntly.

My eyes widened and my face heated up.

"What!?" I shouted irritably. "Porn babe? Are you fucking kidding me!?"

"Tss, you heard it right."

"I didn't expect you'd see me like that! Ikaw nga minsan tuwalya lang ang saplot sa
magazines! Mas mukha kang porn star!"

He chuckled, lips sided. "Uh-huh, you're buying my magazines!"

"Ang kapal mo! Hindi lang sa magazines 'yon, may billboard pa! Feeling
conservative!"

I can't believe him! Porn babe!? What the hell?

"Why are you so mad? I just said what's in my mind, pulang-pula pa 'yang labi mo at
magulo ang buhok." He laughed a bit. "And about my shoots, I'm a model to remind
you."

Inirapan ko siya at ginaya-gaya ang sinabi niya pabulong, wala na akong laban doon.
Bahala siya kung anong isipin niya, wala naman kasi akong inaasahang bisita ngayon.
Tinawanan niya lang ako.

I continued what I was doing, si Jace naman ay nagluto ng pagkain sa kusina. My

unit has no divisions, counter lang at kita ang lahat ng parte puera sa kuwarto at
banyo. Hindi ko alam kung anong niluluto niya pero wala naman akong masyadong
supplies kundi de-lata at instant noodles, itlog at ilang prutas, gulay sa fridge.

"Do you eat veggies a lot?" he asked.

"Nitong nakaraang buwan lang, ayaw ko ng gulay masyado noon."

"Good." He nodded, he's topless now with only his ripped pants.

Sanay na ako sa ganoong kaugalian ng mga lalaki, e. Lalo na kila Arki, madalas kasi
silang mainitin kahit aircon kaya madalas walang pang-itaas. Hindi na nakakailang
sa akin iyon, 'tsaka iyang si Jace exposed na talaga ang katawan sa magazines at
billboards. Wala nang bago.

Iniwan niya ang niluluto sa stove at lumabas sa balcony, nagsindi siya ng sigarilyo
roon at humawak sa sliding door habang tinitingnan ako at ang ginagawa ko. His body
has manly curves, broad shoulders and sexy rocks on the stomach. Maexercise siyang
tao dahil nga model, kailangan maganda ang tindig at katawan parati. E, iyong mukha
niya, gifted na talaga.

"Isn't it stressful to be a legal assistant?" he asked as he puffed the stick of

cigarette.

I shrugged. "Enjoying naman, e. Ayos lang ma-stress sa trabaho kaysa sa buhay."

He licked his lips and nodded, muli siyang humithit sa sigarilyo niya.

"Hindi ka ba pinagbabawal ng Mommy mo na ang lakas mong magyosi?"

"I'm already twenty-three, and she's not that kind of mother."

"That's not healthy!"

"We will all die, anyway."

I just shook my head in dismay.

"Pangit ng dahilan mo."

Tumawa lang siya.

I almost jumped when the buzzer rang again, mabilis akong tumayo.

"Iyan na ang delivery!" I said excitedly.

Umiling si Jace at inunahan ako sa pagpunta sa pinto para buksan iyon.

"Oh my gold, Jace!?"

Namilog agad ang mga mata ko at pinanawan ng dugo.

"Oh my gold, what iz the meaning of this? Oh my gold talaga!" tinulak niya sa
balikat si Jace para makapasok at agad nagtama ang tingin namin ni Capriana—she
rocked her crop top and checkered miniskirt with a thick jacket, her eyes widened
while scanning my clothes down. "Oh my gold times four! Ano 'to, mga pinsan, ha?
Live-in kayo!? Alam ba 'yan ng mga parents n'yo?"

My jaw dropped.
#UM33
#UM33

"No, Capri. Let me explain—"

"How can you explain this scenario? You both look like you just finished—"

"God..." Jace gasped lowly and washed his palm on his face in frustration.

"Oh my goodness, no, really! Capriana, I was about to sleep when Jace came over.
Wala kaming ginawang dalawa, wala kaming relasyon o anumang iniisip mo! He's
usually here everytime he has a photoshoot here, even Zac! We're all friends!"

Sobrang init ng pisngi ko sa hiya, kinuha ni Jace ang itim niyang t-shirt sa couch
at sinuot iyon bago binalikan ang kanyang niluluto sa stove. Capriana was still in
shock while alternately glancing at me and Jace, napailing ako at naupo. Pakiramdam
ko ay pagod ako sa pagpapaliwanag, parang hindi naman siya naniniwala.

"Capriana, stop giving us that look. There's nothing in between us," matigas na ani
Jace.

Nagtaas ng kamay si Capriana at natatalong umupo sa single couch, nagde-otso siya

at sumandal.

"Alright, alright! I'm just bluffing, 'ya know! Masyado naman kayong defensive, I
was just pretending to be shocked since it's been so long when I got surprised.
Alam ko naman na walang namamagitan sa inyo kasi nakuwento ni Zac sa akin na siya
iyong balak manligaw sayo at hindi naman ugali ni Jace manulot." Tumawa siya at
nagkuway ng kamay sa hangin. "So, hi! Where's my confetti?"

Nagbuntong-hininga ako at nailing si Jace habang nililipat sa bowl ang niluto

niyang pagkain. Ang daldal ni Capriana, hindi na talaga iyon nawala. Medyo kumalma
na ako roon, mabuti naman at nagbibiro lang pala siya. Kinabahan talaga ako sa
reaksyon niya, pakiramdam ko ay nagtaksil ako kung kanino.

Damn, I should move on and accept suitors without thinking of it. It's not like I
promised something to secure myself from anything would come. Dapat nga nasubukan
ko na, dapat hindi ako tumatanggi at nakikipagdate.

"Hindi ko alam na pupuntahan mo ako rito, hindi ako nakapaghanda ng confetti."

She rolled her eyes. "Well, I left Dia and Patch at the bar. I just really wanna
catch up with you, if you don't want Patch around then there's nothing can stop me
from seeing you here." Nilingon niya si Jace. "Kaya ikaw, Jace, bilisan mo riyan
makikain at umalis ka na. May pag-uusapan kami ni Pal."

Jace rolled his eyes sluggishly as he started eating there.

"Just pretend that you didn't see me here."

"I'm not stupid to pretend like that, get out of here after eating!"

Tamad at sarkastikong tumango-tango na lang si Jace.

"I really like the climate here! Nakakaganda, e!" Capriana started telling her
experiences in Canada. "Three days lang kami at pupunta naman sa Japan, we're just
traveling because work was really stressing. Kumusta ka naman?"

"I'm doing good, too." I smiled.

"Good to hear that, Pal. Hindi mo pala tinuloy ang abogasya?"

"Yes but I'm a lawyer's assistant. It's enough for me to be in a firm."

It's really enough, I realized that I don't want to be a lawyer... well, for now. I
don't know what would be my decision in the future years, I can always practice law
someday.

"Right. Mabuti nga at pinakawalan ka rin ng Mommy mong istrikto, look at you now—
you look so independent and professional. I told you, you'd really feel the freedom
with Tito Prudence."

Tipid akong ngumiti at nagbaba ng tingin, inayos ko ang lamesita at niligpit ang
mga gamit doon.

Pagtapos ni Jace kumain ay umalis na siya ng apartment ko, ilang minutong puro lang
kami daldalan ni Capriana tungkol sa nakaraang apat na taong lumipas. Nakakatuwa na
parang sobrang lapit nilang lahat na naiwan doon at hindi naman ako nakaramdam ng
kakaibang pait sa kalooban habang pinapakinggan ang kuwento niya, nagbabakasyon
sila kada Disyembre gaya ng nakasanayan nila at madalas daw akong hanapin ng lahat
dahil iyon ang kanilang inaasahan.

Tumatawag naman sa akin sila Papa at napapasyal siya rito sa Canada kapag may
inaasikasong business. For the past years, I didn't do anything but keep growing
and improving to be the better version of me.

"Anyway, what really happened to you and Patch? I was so curious about it when you
said about sampalan! My gold, I didn't know you were that aggressive!"

Napagpasyahan naming bumili ng beer at uminom sa apartment ko, Capriana was so

talkative and curious about what happened. Ayaw ko na sanang pag-usapan pero
nagtanong na naman at pakiramdam ko ay nahahalata niyang iniiwasan ko iyon.

I sipped on the bottle of beer and inhaled with a little bored smile, nilapag ko
ang bote sa lamesita at tumingin sa kanya.

"I don't wanna make anything big deal about it now since I've already moved on from
it..." I shook my head a bit. "We had a fight before I left Philippines and she was
one of the reasons why. She made me feel so down and scared when she should be on
my side as a family or at least a friend."
I clearly told her everything happened between me and Patch, iyong tungkol kay
Chance at iba pang nasabi niya sa akin na hindi ko makalimutan kahit nakaahon na
ako mula sa kahapong iyon. Even though, I had moved on, I'm still so scared to hear
about Miramontes and... the baby, my nephew or niece.

Nakita ko ang galit sa mga mata ni Capriana habang nagkukuwento ako, hindi siya
nagsasalita at tuon ang atensyon ng mga tainga sa akin habang bawat minutong
sumisimsim sa kanyang bote ng beer. Hindi ko na nabilang kung nakakailan kami pero
wala pa namang epekto iyon.

"She called me a murderer, hindi ko iyon makakalimutan at nakatatak na sa isip kong

iyon nga siguro ako..." I smiled sadly and inhaled deeply to calm myself.

Her brows furrowed as she gasped in disbelief.

"Are you serious? You are not a murderer, never. You're a fighter that defended
yourself from the evil sister, Pal, and we weren't born cowards! That bitch, I
didn't know she was acting as if that wasn't a big deal at all when this is the
truth behind? My gold, I wanna go back to the hotel now and slap Patch, I want her
to face my freaking heating palm right now! Nanggigigil ako, how dare she said that
to a family? That was so unacceptable! Tapos ano? Dahil kay Chancent Estrevillo? My
fucking gold! Bitch, please!"

Napatayo siya at sinapo ang kanyang noo habang umiiling na tila problemado.

"Naiirita ako, nag-iinit ang ulo ko. Hindi ako makapaniwala, paano niya naatim
sabihin iyon? Knowing that you were in a mess that time, tangina. Alam ba iyan ni
Tito Dence?"

Umiling ako. "It's alright now, you see... it's over and I'm fine now. Calm down,
Capriana."

"Ikaw nakamove on na, ako ngayon pa lang nag-iinit. Ngayon ko lang nalaman, e. So,
walang nakakaalam doon? Bakit hindi mo sinabi man lang para nasampal iyon ni Tita
Patience at naturuan ng leksyon? Oh my God, puputok na yata ang ugat sa batok ko!"
suminghap siya at mabilis kinuha ang jacket niya sa sofa para isuot.

Nalaglag ang panga ko, napatayo rin.

"Hey, it's okay. Please, sit down and relax!"

"No!" mariin niyang sinabi at dumiretso palabas ng apartment ko.

Nataranta ako at dali-dali siyang sinundan, hinila ko siya at pinigil pero hinawi
niya ako at pinatahimik bago dinikit ang cell phone sa kanyang tainga habang
naglalakad sa pasilyo—kahit galit ay elegante pa ring dinadala ang kanyang sarili.

"Diamante, nasa hotel na ba kayo? Nasaan si Patch?" mariin niyang tanong. "Okay,
don't let her sleep. Kausapin mo muna. Basta, gawin mo na lang. I know you're older
than me, I shouldn't command you like this but I'm not in the right mood to be
respectful. Just do it."

Binaba niya iyon at gumawa ng panibagong tawag.

"Bhaltair."

My eyes widened, I pulled her arm to stop her.

"Please, let's not open it up again!"

Parang wala siyang narinig.

"Hey, what's up? Anything happened?" Bhlatie's husky voice on the line asked.

"I'm about to set a fire here in Canada, I just informed you so you wouldn't be
surprised—"

"What?" he hissed. "What fire are you talking about, Capriana? God! Please, don't
ever do something stupid. You're in Canada, I'm fucking miles away to run and save
your ass!"

"You don't need to save my ass, sinabi ko lang sayo para hindi ka na magugulat sa
susunod na araw. Huwag kang OA diyan!"

"OA? You're my sister, nababaliw ka na ba? How could I calm down hearing what
you're about to do, huh? Stop it, I'm gonna book a flight tomorrow morning and I'll
be there—then you can set the fire with me. Huwag ngayon, maawa ka sa isip ko."

"Ewan ko sayo, patawa ka naman! I'm just gonna have a fight with Patch and teach
her lesson for doing something bad!" iritadong ani Capriana.

"Patch? What did she do?" naguguluhan na ang boses ni Bhaltie.

"Basta, Bhaltie. Don't worry, I can handle myself. Sige, matulog ka na. Huwag mo
idaldal kila Momsy, ah!"

Bhaltie groaned and called her name, calming his twin down but she ended the call.

Pilit ko siyang hinihila hanggang sa makalabas kami ng building, ininda ko ang

lamig na dumapo sa aking katawan dahil sa nipis ng aking suot.

"Capri, please! Let this pass, dito ka na matulog. Nakainom ka pa, e! Huwag na
nating palakihin iyon, four years na!"

My goodness, I didn't even have the chance to get a jacket before leaving. Lumabas
talaga akong ganito ang suot, ang lamig tuloy.

"Leave me this, Pal. Matulog ka na at papasyalan na lang kita ulit," sabi niya at
mabilis nakakuha ng cab para sakyan. Sinara niya ang pinto, iniwanan ako sa labas.

Nasapo ko ang aking noo habang tinatanaw ang pag-alis ng cab, para akong lantang
gulay na umakyat ulit sa apartment at hindi makapaniwala sa nangyari. Hindi ko
lubos maisip, para akong nasa kawalan at nag-iisip kung anong gagawin ni Capriana.
Shit, this is so fucked up. Magbubukas na naman ang issue na iyon, e. Heto ang
iniiwasan ko, hindi talaga nagpapaawat si Capriana.

I texted her that I hope, she won't open it to the family because it would be a
mess again, ayaw ko na ng gulo sa pamilya at hindi ko talaga inaasahan na ganoon
ang aksyon ni Capriana. I thought she would never make it big since it already
happened fucking years ago!

Hindi ko alam kung anong oras ako nakatulog, mabuti na lang at wala akong pasok
kinabukasan. Hindi ako nagtaka nang buksan ang cell phone ko at nakatanggap ng
texts mula sa ilang pinsan, nagbuntong-hininga ako at binasa ang mga mensahe.

Archelaus:
Heard what happened, are you okay?
Bhaltair:
Everybody in the family cares for you, maybe you're not yet ready to close the gaps
between you and Patch but I still hope for the future forgiveness and
reconciliation.

Diamante:
I don't know anything about what happened years ago but upon hearing Capriana last
night, I hope there's still a room for us to be okay with everyone. We're a family,
always and for life.

Hell, messed up. My, God!

I just replied thank you for their concerns, I don't need to explain and tell the
story to everyone but I really appreciate them for making me feel important after
hearing it from Capriana. Sana lang ay hindi iyon nakarating sa mga aunties at
uncles, o kay Papa. Sana sa aming magpipinsan na lamang iyon, ang tagal na rin
naman kasi at unreasonable naman yata na biglang kagagalitan si Patch.

I know that she has changed, everyone changes by time and it's been years—I am not
the only one who got realizations, improvements and grew to be a better person, I
know that Patch regretted what happened, too. Lahat naman ay nagsisisi, sa haba ng
panahon ay naniniwala akong nagbago siya at napagtanto ang lahat. Of course, she
also improved and matured.

Si Capriana ang kausap ko sa buong umagang iyon at wala siyang binanggit na ginawa
kay Patch pero awtomatiko na iyon, naiintindihan ko at hindi ko nga lang alam kung
anong balita kay Patch. I had my breakfast alone and started cleaning the unit
while texting with Capriana.

Ako:
I shouldn't have told you that, nadamay ka pa tuloy.

Capriana:
Good thing you did, I got really mad at her for everything and that's just right to
know about it. Pamilya tayo, e. Tayo dapat ang nagdadamayan.

Ako:
Thank you. How's Patch?

Capriana:
Well, she walked out crying last night. Dia was so torn, I told her to follow
Patch. She booked a flight back to Philippines today.

Ako:
Seriously? Why?

God, I feel bad. It feels like I ruined their vacation.

Capriana:
I gave her two choices, she'll confess what she did to her parents or meet you here
and apologize for being an ass. I'm sorry for meddling but it's for the better
relationship because honestly, I don't wanna see her face again.

I sighed heavily and typed my reply.

Ako:
I don't know what to say, Capri. I appreciate your concern but isn't it unfair? It
happened 4 years ago, kung magagalit kayo sa kanya ngayon, parang ang unfair sa
side niya. We were both problematic that time, she was jealous and I was in a mess.
We both fell on that stage. I know she regretted it, ang tagal na noon.

Capriana:
Let me think about it, please, not now. I'm still in a freaking madness. I'm gonna
go back to Philippines, too, with Dia. Mag-iingat ka rito. I hope, this coming
holiday season, you're with us.

I heaved a sigh again, I just replied a simple "take care" and locked my cell
phone. Nilapag ko iyon sa side table at napatulala sa pintuan, I feel sad and bad
at the same time but upon telling everything to Capriana last night—I felt light
hearted as if I freed something heavy inside my chest.

Hinilamos ko ang mga palad sa mukha at nagpasyang alisin iyon sa isip ko,
naniniwala naman ako na hindi iyon ibobroadcast ni Capriana sa buong angkan.

Days rolled up with the wind, naging abala muli sa trabaho ang bawat araw ko—na
nakabuti naman sa gitna ng panibagong gulong nagawa ko ulit, I should really stop
myself from spilling the past issues so there won't be any problem to have today.

"Titingnan ko pa, Pa..."

He sighed. "You were saying that for years now, Pallavi. Come back here and we'll
celebrate the holidays together."

Napapikit ako, I held on my forehead and bowed my head a bit.

"Palmira is already four years old kamo," ani Tita Fili mula sa background.

Of course, they know how scared I was to hold Palmira back then because of what
happened to Gabanni's.

"Uh, yes. She can walk now, she's not a baby anymore." Tawa ni Papa.

I sighed heavily. "Alright..."

"Alright? You'll be here?"

Napatango ako sa hangin. "Yes, Pa."

"Wow!" Tita Fili clapped in happiness. "Since you didn't attend Grant's—"

"Oh, here we go again! Magkano ba ang utang mo sa pamangkin mo?" Papa laughed.

"Wala! I just want them to be friends!"

"Wait, let's ask Pal!" ani Papa. "Are you dating now? I mean, someone?"

Natawa ako. "Wala naman, Pa. I'm a busy person, I don't think I have time for
that."

"Iyong Attorney Ongkiko? Binata iyon, 'di ba? Hindi ka ba niyayaya lumabas noon?"

Natawa ako lalo. "Hindi, Papa. May asawa na iyon, hindi lang talaga pinapaalam
dahil mahirap na sa larangan niya. Magagamit iyong kahinaan."

"Uh-huh, right..." he sighed slightly.

"Sabihin mo iyong tungkol sa kapatid niya, love."

Papa sushed her, medyo nagtalo sila sa maliliit na boses pero hindi ko
maintindihan.

"Sabihin mo, dapat niya rin namang malaman kahit papaano."

"Ano iyon, Papa?" tanong ko nang hindi na makapagpigil ang kuryosidad at kaba sa
aking dibdib.

"Gunther got shot for winning another case here in Manila."

"W-What? He's in Manila?"

"Yeah, he won a case last week and decided to take a vacation here but I don't
know... I think he just made it look like it but he's up to some case here."

"Nahuli ba iyong gunman?"

"Unfortunately..." he inhaled.

I gasped. "Kumusta siya, Papa?"

"Gabbana told that he's still under observation, I couldn't visit him because his
room's not open for visitors unless it's a relative."

Fuck. How can I enjoy the holidays there knowing that Gunther's not fine!?

Panay ang pag-iisip ko sa kapatid, hindi ako mapakali sa ilang araw pang lumipas
kaya naman nagpasya akong magleave sa trabaho. Mabuti na lang at wala pa namang
tinatanggap na kaso si Attorney kaya puwede pa siyang makakuha ng ibang assistant
para sa Disyembre at panibagong trabaho, I really need to go back to Manila for my
peace of mind.

Hindi ako makakapagconcentrate sa trabaho sa ganoong kaalaman, pero handa na ba ako

na magpakita ulit sa mga Miramontes?

Of course, Sileas. Four years of improving yourself is enough to be ready for

everything's coming. I have my face already, no one can manipulate me now. Mariin
kong sinuksok sa isip ko na lahat ng nangyari noon ay kaguluhan na naaayos ng oras
at natatakpan ng panibagong karanasan. I've learned my lessons and I wouldn't be a
coward to admit my mistakes.

A week after learning about Gunther, I booked my flight to Manila and landed there
with all my heart and soul. Zac was the one who'd fetch me at the airport since I
didn't tell Papa and my other cousin about my arrival, si Zac naman ang close ko
kaya nakakausap ko kahit noong nasa Manila na siya.

I was walking while pulling my luggage, hindi ko maiwasan kabahan nang muling
makatungtong sa Pilipinas.

Hindi ako nahirapan luminga-linga pa para hanapin si Zac dahil nakita ko siya agad,
wearing a white undershirt, light brown jacket and ripped pants. His black hair was
smoothly down, may ilang babaeng nagpalitrato sa kanya. Kilala siya bilang pinsan
ng sikat na modelo, e. Guwapo pa kaya hindi malabong mapansin.

He didn't smile and just nodded at the girls who asked for a picture, todo ang
ngiti ng mga babae sa kanya at kumaway para magpaalam pagtapos magpalitrato. Zac
lifted his cell phone up to check, some passing girls were looking at him but when
they saw how snob looking he was—they seemed intimidated. Palagay ko ay
magpapalitrato rin pero nabahag ang buntot dahil mukhang wala sa mood ang Zac
Vizcarra.

I smirked slightly and walked towards him, luminga na siya sa paligid at ilang
lingon pa ay nagtama ang tingin namin nang malapit na ako.

His face lightened up a bit and started walking, I smiled as I waved my hand and
looked around the area without any hope and expectation to see someone familiar on
the other side.

My breathing faltered, forehead knotted when I get to realize that it was really
Chancent Arlow Estrevillo—even from way distance, I wouldn't forget what he looks
like. His hair was formally brushed up, he's in a maroon button down shirt and
slacks. He's holding a maroon coat on the left hand while looking in front as if
waiting for someone, my eyes followed where he's looking then I found a woman in a
blue dress—waving and smiling at him.

He smiled back and nodded. My chest heaved, parang slow motion ang oras nang makita
ko kung paano iyon dumamba ng yakap sa kanya at humawak siya sa baywang noon para
suportahan.

"Hey..." Zac's voice broke the sound of the line in my ears while looking at the
two people.

Napakurap-kurap ako, hingang malalim bago tarantang lumingon kay Zac. I flashed an
awkward smile and nodded.

"Uh, let's go?" I quickly said and held on his arm.

He smiled as we started walking, he cocked his head to meet my hair and nuzzled
there with a chuckle.

"How's the flight?" he asked.

I inhaled deeply to calm my nerves down.

"It was fine..." I said as if telling myself that it would be fine, too.

Marahan at simple akong lumingon ulit at nakita kong masayang nagkukuwento iyong
babae habang si Chance ay kunot ang noo na nakikinig. My eyes ached at the sight, I
slowly let out a sigh and proceeded to the exit with Zac.

What a welcome sign, Sileas Pallavi...

#UM34
#UM34

I should not feel hurt or anything because in the very first place, I was the one
who gave him all the freedom to love another or date someone else without thinking
of me.

Kung may nararamdaman ako ngayon, siguro ay kasiyahan? Oo kasi mayroon na siyang
iba, ang galing nga ng pagkakataon umaksyon. Para bang sign iyon agad na hindi ko
na kailangan pang kumpirmahin ang estado niya gaya ng inaalala ko tuwing nalalaman
kong may nagkakagusto at nagtatangkang manligaw sa akin.

Kung mayroon man sa aming dalawa ang talagang nag-iisip tungkol sa kanya, ako iyon.
I had been wanting to see if he's still single, reason why I couldn't step up to
another. That was the first mission I'd want to know when I come back and it
welcomed me.
I smiled at the thought, marahan kong kinapa ang bigay niyang singsing na ginawa
kong pendant. Iyong pangalan niya.

Masyado yata akong umasa na matutulad ito gaya sa libro kung saan naghihintay ang
kanilang leading man kahit gaano pa katagal. Masyadong idealistic, masyadong
unrealistic.

Asa pa ako.

I chose it, I led him to it. It's his freedom. That was my choice...

Zac and I went to Duty Free to buy chocolates for Philo and Palmira, hindi na kasi
ako nakapamili bago umalis ng Canada at nakakahiya kung wala man lang akong
pasalubong sa mga kapatid ko at ibang batang pinsan. I know that they're not living
in Manila but we'll all meet on Holidays, I can give it to them.

"Sabi ko ako na, Zac!" iritado kong sinabi kay Zac pagkasakay ng sasakyan niya.

Ngumisi siya. "Huwag natin pagtalunan ang simpleng chocolates, Pal. Hindi naman
natin sasabihin na ako ang bumili."

"Hindi naman kasi 'yon, e! Nakakainis ka! Alam ko namang matipid kang tao at hindi
ka gumagastos sa mga babae mo—"

"Mga babae? Ginawa mo naman akong babaero." He gasped.

I rolled my eyes. "Basta, hindi ka gumagastos. Tapos ngayon, ang dami nitong
pasalubong sa mga bata!"

He started maneuvering the steering wheel and drove away while our argument was on
going, natatawa siya tuwing hinahampas ko siya dahil sa mga walang kuwenta niyang
palusot hanggang sa ako na lang ang natalo at napagod sa panenermon sa kanya.

"Pal, it's nothing. Nagtitipid lang ako para makapag-ipon pero mayaman pa rin naman
ako kahit walang ipon." Halakhak niya.

I can't believe him! "Ang yabang mo! Pera pa rin iyon, pinaghirapan mo! Pinanganak
ka ngang mayaman pero hindi pa rin! Ugh, hirap mag-explain sayo! It's just that,
I've been there, money was so easy for me but when I realized the value of every
coin—I don't wanna waste it for something, lalo na kung hindi naman para sa akin o
kamag-anak! At ikaw, alam kong hindi ka talaga umaasa sa parents mo!"

Nalaman ko iyon sa kanya noong minsang magkuwento sa akin, sa mga Zobel—silang

dalawa ni Jace iyong naiiba dahil sila iyong labas sa pamilyang iyon. I haven't
heard the whole family story but I know their culture and I think, their parents
decided to not include them to the family tradition.

And this is how they discipline and teach their children, Zac and Jace' rules are
way too different from other wealthy family members like them, pangalan pa lang
nila—tila mga kumakain sa gintong plato at humihiga sa kayamanan, pero ano? Pinili
pa rin silang sanaying tumayo mag-isa. Kung tutuusin, mas namumuhay pa ng marangya
iyong kambal kaysa sa kanila.

He shrugged and chuckled. "Ayaw nila ako paasahin sa kanila, wala akong choice
noong mag-eighteen. If I had a choice to lean on their wealth? I wouldn't work hard
for myself."

"Thanks to them!" I gasped. "You learned!"

He smiled. "Yeah..."

Sinamaan ko siya ng tingin. "Kaya huwag kang gagastos para sa akin ulit, ha! Iba-
block kita, tingnan mo!"

He glanced at me with wide eyes. "Seriously? Mainis ka lang, walang block-an!"

Natawa na lang ako.

Hindi nagtagal ang aming biyahe, hindi rin nawala sa isip ko ang nakita kanina sa
airport. Unti-unti akong naiirita sa sarili ko, parang may nakaligtaan akong
matutunan sa apat na taon kaya ganito pa rin ako kaapektado.

"Oh, wow! Dalagang-dalaga na talaga ang dalaga natin!" Mama welcomed me with kisses
on the cheeks and tight hug.

Gulantang sila sa bahay pagkapasok namin ni Zac, hindi makapaniwala na narito

talaga ako kaya humaba nang humaba ang mga tili at tuwa ni Mama habang panay ang
pangungumusta at papuri sa akin.

I feel so appreciated. I really admire Mama for being my second mother who's always
proud to have me.

Papa patted Zac's shoulder as he saw him behind me, dala niya ang maleta ko at mga
pasalubong. Sumulyap si Papa sa akin at hindi ko iyon pinunan pa nang hilahin ako
ni Mama at muling halikan sa pisngi.

"Namiss talaga kita anak, sorry!" hagikgik niya.

I giggled and hugged her. "I missed you, too!"

How I wish to feel Mommy's hug and kisses like this as a welcome after long four
years of missing, but I doubt. Never gonna happen. Lalo ngayon na nasa ospital si
Gunther, mahirap iyon matanggap.

Sinilip ni Mama si Zac at kinunot ang noo. "Si Zac ang sumundo sayo?"

I nodded. Papa sighed and threw a glare at Mama, he tsked and shook his head as if
telling her to stop what she was about to say. Ngumuso si Mama at umismid sa kanya
bago pilit na ngumiti kay Zac.

Natawa naman ako at nagbiro. "Don't worry, Ma. We're not a thing yet, may pag-asa
pa si Grant."

Her eyes widened in happiness as Papa let out a heavy gasp.

"Paasa, Pallavi. Huwag mong sasabihan ng ganyan ang Mama mo, mahirap iyang
pangakuan! Nagmamaktol, sige ka."

Agad siyang hinampas ni Mama pero hindi nawala ang ngiti nito.

"Hayaan mo kasi, Dence. Date lang naman, malay mo magustuhan niya si Grant! They're
both single!"

Papa made a face and patted Zac's shoulder again.

"Pasensya na, nagtandem pa ang paasa at umaasa masyado para sa pamangkin niya."
Sabay kaming napasinghap ni Mama, hindi ko napigilang tumawa ng malakas. Zac
chuckled and nodded.

"Paasa talaga 'yan, Tito."

"Oh my, God! Ang sama niyo! Hindi naman ako paasa, una pa lang sinasabi ko na kapag
ayaw ko pa. Ikaw, Zac!" kinurot ko siya sa braso at hinampas.

We all laughed.

Anong oras na kaming natapos sa kulitan at kuwentuhan hanggang sa magtanghalian,

hindi na nakasabay si Zac sa amin dahil may duty pa raw na kailangan habulin at
pasukan. Basically, kumpleto kaming pamilya sa tanghaliang iyon. It was my first
happy moment here after four years, I really loved how we were talking and laughing
together. Nagkuwento ako tungkol sa hirap at stressful ng trabaho ko bilang
assistant.

We ended the day completely and I've never felt this completed again after years of
being independent, madalas mag-isa lang talaga ako sa Canada at nagtitiis sa
katotohanang ako lang mag-isa ang kakain, ako lang mag-isa sa apartment at wala
masyadong kaibigan dahil ilag sa ibang tao. Naging sapat noon sa akin ang pagbisi-
bisita ng mga pinsan ko at nila Zac kaya iyon lang ang masasayang araw ko.

Hindi ko alam kung paano ko natiis pero totoo iyong kakasanayan mo rin ang lahat
habang tumatagal, at iyon ang nagpakuntento sa akin. Really, contentment is a key
to happy life without searching for something else.

Next day, I was awoken from knocks. Mabuti na lang at sanay akong gumising ng maaga
at hindi mantika matulog, pagkabukas ko ng pinto ay nakita ko si Philo roon. Kung
noong pag-alis ko ay hanggang balikat ko lang siya, ngayon ay ilang pulgada na ang
tangkad sa akin at nakatingala ako para salubungin ang tingin niya.

"Morning, Ate," he greeted with a deep voice.

My, God. I can't believe he's just fifteen now, nasa dugong Villareal talaga iyong
mga lalaking mabilis magmature sa height at pangangatawan. Apat na taon lang,
binata na si Philo pagbalik ko.

"Good morning, Philo!" I glanced at the clock on the wall, it's just past six.

Ang aga gumising pero sa suot niyang Adidas dry fit at shorts, batid kong magja-
jogging o gym siya.

Nagwo-work out na rin siya sa edad niyang iyan, kaya ang bilis talagang magbinata.
Malamang natutunan niya lang iyan sa mga pinsan namin. Ang agang gustong gumuwapo,
ang unfair doon sa mga dumaan sa pagiging jejemon at gangster.

"I'm 'bout to jog around, wanna come?"

"Oh, sure! Give me five minutes." I smiled.

Tumango lang siya at pumasok ako ulit sa kuwarto para maghilamos, sipilyo at
magbihis. I wore a Nike black leggings and a yellow sports bra, I put my hair in a
ponytail and took a face towel on the drawer. I didn't wear any color on my face
and I'm ready to go.

Hindi pa gising si Mama, sinabihan pa ako ni Philo na kumain kahit tinapay pero
sabi ko ay dumiretso na kami at mamaya na ako kakain. Hindi naman ako nagwowork-
out, hindi ko ugaling mag-jogging pero ayaw kong tanggihan ang anyaya ni Philo. I
really wanna have time with him as a big sister and this is where we can vibe.

We were talking about ramdom stuff while jogging and it was funny in a nice way to
hear about his experiences at school and friends.

"Hindi ka pa nagkakagirlfriend?" may panunuya kong tanong.

He smirked, medyo hingal na kami pareho pero tuloy pa rin.

"Not a priority."

"That's nice but I kinda doubt your answer. Ang guwapo-guwapo mo at binata na, or
bawal pa ba kay Mama?"

"Mama doesn't really care about me having a girlfriend, she said; everyone will
fall on that stage so... yeah, but I just don't want to be in that stage yet.
Besides, I'm just turning sixteen. I wanna live as if I'm in 90's where it's not a
trend to rush things."

My lips parted. "Oh, wow! I didn't expect you'd grow this manly, I thought you'd be
like Arki who had his first girlfriend at thirteen! I mean, you're right—a freaking
trend nowadays. I'm really glad you're like that!"

He smiled and nodded, he looked so humble.

"Ngayon, Ate, may makakausap ka na hindi puro video games ang alam gaya ko noon.
You remember that?"

Parehas kaming natawa sa pag-alala, tumango ako.

Mukhang nagkamali ako sa pasalubong, hindi na yata niya hilig ang tsokolate ngayon.
I should've bought him things he could use, I'll think of it.

"Now, you can talk to me about anything and I will never judge you. Now, you have a
listener here when you're alone and no one to talk to."

I smiled sweetly. "Awe, too sweet!"

Days continued rolling and it was my third day at home, ilang umaga naming inulit
ni Philo ang jogging. Parati niya akong pinapaalalahanan sa gabi para makapaghanda
na ako sa pagkatok niya sa umaga. It was enjoying, nabubuhay ang dugo sa katawan ko
pero nakakapagod talaga.

Naupo kami sa bench, uminom siya ng tubig at ako naman ay tiningnan ang cell phone
ko. May text si Papa roon.

Papa:
When are you planning to visit Gunther?

Nagbuntong-hininga ako, medyo nakaramdam ng paghalo sa dibdib. Nilingon ko si Philo

at nakatingin na siya sa akin, he arched a brow to ask.

"Papa texted me about visiting Gunther..."

"Ano bang plano mo?"

I shrugged hesitantly. "I-I don't know."

Tumungga ulit siya sa bottled water niya bago nagsalita.

"Maybe, you should try. He's your brother. Nagising na raw ba?"

I nodded. "Oo, kahapon daw pero hindi pa pinapalabas ng ospital."

"Go, visit him."

I sighed heavily. "Kinakabahan ako, Philo. Baka itaboy nila ako."

"Kung itataboy ka, umalis ka. At least, you visited your brother—that's the only
point you should keep in mind and think that everyone there is pointless."

Damn, right. Kakasabi ko lang na hindi na ako iyong namamanipula ng mas mataas sa
akin, hindi na ako iyong palasunod at palaiyak lagi kapag napagsalitaan. I did not
heal for nothing, I did not move forward to be held on the neck again and I didn't
reach what I am today for them. I am only following myself, I am myself's ruler.

Kagaya ng napagdesisyunan ko, pag-uwi namin ni Philo ay naligo ako at nag-ayos para
sa pagbisita kay Gunther. Sigurado namang hindi ako wanted dahil ilang araw na
akong pagala-gala rito sa Maynila at wala namang dumadampot sa akin, I can visit
there since I'm a family. Still. They can't erase that fact in my blood even how
much they hate me.

I wore a black strappy side slit slim dress, a pair of white sneakers and light
make up on my face with my brown straight long hair down.

Bumaba ako pagtapos mag-ayos ng sarili, I heard some familiar voices downstairs.
Nang makababa ay namataan ko agad si Archelaus na niluluwagan ang kanyang necktie,
nakasandal sa sofa at prenteng nakapatong ang mga hita sa lamesita habang
nakikipagtawanan at usap kay Bhaltie. Naroon din si Philo at nangingisi rin sa
pakikinig.

"Kung ako sayo, Philo, don't take law—it's stressful and hard." Iling ni Bhaltie.

Tumango-tango si Philo. Archelaus glared.

"Why not? Stressful but very thrilling, life should be enjoying and challenging. If
I were you, don't take easy things. Real boring."

"Everyday is a challenge that has thrills, hindi naman nawawala iyon. Anyway, why
are we having this argument? We have individual perspective when it comes to it."

Arki nodded and clicked his tongue. Malapad ang ngiti ko nang tuluyan akong
makalapit sa sala, tumayo agad si Bhaltie para salubungin ako ng yakap. He messed
my hair and chuckled.

"Bakit ngayon lang kayo bumisita?"

Tumayo na rin si Arki at yumakap, I hugged him back and giggled.

"Well, I'm busy."

"Me, too. I just got back from Villa Terrazas, I'm sorry," Bhaltie said.

Kumunot ang noo ko. "Ginawa mo doon?"

"Abuela Emma's death anniversary."

"Oh..."
"Where are you up to? Date?"

I shook my head. "I'm gonna visit my brother."

Arki let out a sigh. "Tsk, lawyer's life is always dangerous."

I swallowed and looked at him.

"That's why you need to be careful always."

He shrugged and curved his lips.

"Kahit naman mag-ingat, kung may nakatutok at bayad na ang bala—" he lifted his
hand to create a gun and winked as he chuckled roughly. "Bang."

I gasped in disbelief. "So what should we do? You need to resign—"

Humalakhak siya.

"You always need to be ready for everything, that's what y'all should do."

"Creepy fucker, did you receive any threats?" Bhaltie asked.

He just shrugged.

"Your name's getting popular, Arki. It's not impossible."

Kinabahan tuloy ako sa usapan, hindi ko tuloy alam kung tutuloy pa ako sa pagdalaw
kay Gunther o hindi na. Sa huli ay wala rin akong nagawa, Bhaltie drove me to the
hospital since Archelaus was sleepy and tired.

"It's alright, it will be okay," ani Bhaltie. "Hintayin kita rito."

I shook my head, humawak ako sa pinto ng sasakyan.

"Huwag na, magtetext na lang ako kung sakali. Malapit lang naman."

He pouted but nodded eventually.

"Always remember, you're a Miramontes-Villareal. You're powerful, hit it," he

cheered up.

I smiled and waved my hand, sinara ko na ang pinto. Umakyat ako sa ilang baitang
patungong ospital, pinagdikit ko ang mga kamay at marahang kinurot upang gisingin
ang tapang ng mga ugat kong tila nanlalamig sa bawat paghakbang ko. Sa sobrang
kalabog ng dibdib ko ay para akong mabubulunan.

I went in and breathed out my fear, hindi gaanong crowded ang ospital dahil
ekslusibo at tila organisado lahat kaya hindi makalat. Huminga ako ng malalim,
pinkit-bukas ang mga mata bago marahang sinikop patungo sa likuran ang buhok.

Fuck. I'm so nervous.

Nandito ka para kay Gunther, Sileas. Iyon lang ang isipin mo.

Ang kalabog ng dibdib ko ay tila nagbato nang sa muling pagmulat ay nakilala ko

agad si Chancent, he's walking on the left side across me—wearing a corporate
attire, he looked so ruthless and serious while listening to the woman in doctor's
attire and that's her... the one he was with at the airport, days ago. She held on
his arm and smiled sweetly, Chancent nodded and smiled a bit as if he's defeated by
her sweet smile.

My chest hurt and I feel like I have a heart disease suddenly, humapdi ang paligid
ng mga mata ko pero inisip ko ang lahat ng sakripisyo ko para lang maghilom. Wala
lang ito, simple na lang ito.

Nang malapit na kaming magsalubong ng landas ay inayos ko ang sarili, I took out
all my confidence and walked with my chin up. My heart skipped a beat as our eyes
crossed paths accidentally, the smile on his lips turned into a straight line and
forehead wrinkled slightly.

We broke up without bitterness so why would I react bitterly? So what if he has

someone else now? So... what... damn it. I don't care.

It felt like an acid suddenly run through my veins, I wanted to pretend that I
didn't see or notice him but I realized how childish it could be. Instead of doing
that, I smiled at him and pretended a bit surprised.

His reaction remained silent and unreadable, nagmukha akong tanga sa ginawa ko nang
hanggang sa malampasan nila ako ay wala siyang binalik na pagkakakilanlan. It was
like he didn't see me at all, seriously? I can't believe it!

Is he mad at me? Hindi niya ba natanggap ang desisyon ko noon? Did he just pretend
that he was alright with my choice but not really?

My mind clouded, hindi ko alam kung maiiyak ako sa elevator o maiinis sa sarili. I
should've just pretended that I did not notice him, hindi ko talaga inexpect na
ganoon. Alam ko kung gaano siya ka-mature mag-isip, e. Hindi ko inasahan na ganito
siya sa muling pagkikita namin... o baka hindi lang talaga puwedeng mamansin dahil
kasama niya ang bago niya?

Fuck. Okay, I give him that credit!

I closed my eyes tightly and inhaled deeply. My heart was twisting painfully.

Iyon ba ang naipalit niya sa akin? Maganda nga pero... selosa naman masyado. Ilang
taon na ba iyon? Mukha namang matured din, bakit hindi puwedeng mamansin si
Chancent ng old friend? Bawal ba iyon?

Hell, this is giving me chills.

#UM35
#UM35

Bagsak ang mga balikat ko habang tinatahak ang pasilyo, mula sa ilang distansya ay
nakita ko ang silid kung saan si Gunther—may mga bodyguards sa labas, they're just
standing there like men in black with earpiece in their ears. Palapit pa lang ako
ay lumingon na sa akin ang mga iyon, I don't really know them and I guess they're
Miramontes' new set of bodyguards.

"Sileas Miramontes Villareal," kaswal kong sambit nang lumapit sa akin ang isa.

Walang reaksyon iyon. "Wala ka sa listahan ng inaasahang bisita ngayon, Ma'am."

My heart ached a bit. Seriously, I expected that.

"Of course, this is a surprise visit. I wanna see my brother, you can tell it to
him to be clear," I said formally.
Tumitig siya sa akin kaya tinaliman ko ang tingin.

"I'll wait, please, tell my name. I know he's awake, I just wanna see and talk to
him."

Huminga siya ng malalim bago nilingon ang isang bodyguard sa pinto, tumango siya
roon at pumasok iyon sa silid. I waited only a minute and the bodyguard went out,
nagtanguan ulit sila noong nasa harapan ko bago minwestra sa akin ang daan.

Nakahinga ako ng maluwag, I walked into the room quietly and Gunther sitting on the
hospital bed welcomed me. His eyes widened in real surprise, I smiled shyly and
took steps near him.

"Good afternoon, Kuya..." I greeted formally.

He breathed in and stood up, I saw him stumble a bit and I quickly supported him on
the arm.

"Sileas..." he mumbled as his arms wrapped around me. "You're really here."

I nodded while hugging him back, I buried my face on his chest and I got emotional
but I stopped it immediately. I didn't expect he'd welcome me like this because I
thought, he'd throw me off.

"I miss you, Kuya."

He gasped and hugged me more. "How are you?"

"Ako pa talaga ng tinanong mo, I should be the one asking that."

"I'm fine now, magaling na ang sugat ko. You really surprised me."

I laughed a bit and looked at him. "Sinabi na nga sayo ang pangalan ko."

"Yes, but I thought it was just an enemy's way to get to me."

I gasped. Paano kung totoo iyon? This careless brother!

"You should be careful next time, please. I'm so worried about you, napauwi talaga
ako para mabisita ka."

He looked at me doubtfully. "One week na ako rito, lagpas pa nga at ngayon ka lang
nagpunta."

"I'm sorry, I was a bit hesitant but I really wanted to see you."

He messed my hair up and snickered, he was about to say something when the door
opened behind.

"What are you doing here!?" Lola's voice thundered.

Kumalabog ang dibdib ko sa kaba, kahit kabado ay hinarap ko pa rin siya at kitang-
kita ko ang galit sa kanyang mga mata.

"Lola!" Gunther called. "Don't start!"

"No, this thick face girl has the guts to face us, huh! What is she doing here?
She's an evil mess! We don't need someone like her here!" mangiyak-ngiyak niyang
sigaw.

"I'm not here for you or the other people, Mrs. Miramontes. I'm here to see my
brother, you don't need to call me names just because you assumed that I was here
to see you," I said formally.

"Aba't ang kapal naman talaga ng pagmumukha mo, lumayas ka rito at huwag
magpapakita! We don't know you, anymore!"

"Lola! She's still my sister! Can you stop talking like that?"

I sighed heavily, I smiled a bit and nodded at Lola.

"Aalis na ako..." nilingon ko si Gunther at nginitian. "Let's just talk some other
time, Kuya. Thank you for still welcoming me."

He sighed heavily and bowed his head, ayaw na ring magsalita pa dahil si Lola ay
mukhang nahihirapan nang huminga sa high blood. Tumango na lamang ako bilang paalam
at saka nilagpasan si Lola upang makalabas ng silid.

That's right, Sileas. We don't need more words to hurt her back. Huwag na natin
palalain pa ang sitwasyon, kung hindi pa ako napapatawad ay ayos lang at
tatanggapin ko. I just don't wanna make it long now. Ayaw kong madagdagan pa ang
galit niya sa akin.

Marahan akong naglalakad sa pasilyo, napapabuntong-hininga at tulala sa aking

nilalakaran. Kung hindi niya pa ako napatawad, paano pa si Gabanni? Will they ever
forgive me for everything? I don't think so and I should accept that fact, I won't
ask for more—it's enough for me that they didn't get me jailed.

One day, I just learned that it was a defense. Though, mayroon pa rin sa akin na
masama ang loob dahil nawalan si Gabanni pero nasabi ko na sa sarili kong hindi
iyon sinadyang gawin. I wasn't in the right mind and I was provoked to fight back.

Huminga ako ng malalim, naglakad na ako palabas ng ospital at hinanap ang cell
phone sa aking bag para matawagan si Bhaltie. Dapat pala pinaghintay ko na lang
siya, hindi naman pala magtatagal ang usapan namin ni Gunther.

Bhaltie wasn't answering, I just texted him.

Ako:
Bhaltie, sorry sa abala. Nakalabas na ako ng ospital, dumating kasi si Lola.

Hinawakan ko lang ang cell phone para mag-abang sa reply niya, I roamed my eyes
around to see if there's a near coffee shop. Mayroon akong nakita pero ginala ko pa
ang mga mata hanggang sa nakita ko si Chancent, he was approaching the way up to
the hospital while talking to the familiar man in a doctor's uniform—I remember
that it was his Tito with a celebrity wife.

Their aura screams the same color with different lines of intimidation, everyone in
their family has it.

Sinundan ko sila ng tingin hanggang sa maunang pumasok ang Tito niya sa ospital at
siya'y naiwan habang may tinitipa sa kanyang cell phone, kunot ang noo sa sikat ng
araw ay bahagya siyang tumabi roon sa nahaharangan ang silaw ng araw.

I blinked and decided to walk towards him, wala naman siyang kasama at gusto ko
lang masigurado kung iyon pa rin ba ang reaksyon niya sa pagkikita namin ng harapan
ngayon. I already collected myself before I could reach his side, he noticed me
without looking and he cooly put his cell phone in his pocket as he looked at me.

That made me swallow a bit in nervous, I quickly covered it with a little smile.

"Chancent," I mentioned. Kabado man sa loob ay hindi ko iyon pinakita.

I wanna clear what's with me since I saw him at the airport. Ang gulo ng isip ko ay
nakakainis at nakakafrustrate sa bawat araw lalo pa nang makita ko ulit siya na
iyon ang kasama ulit.

He was looking at me seriously with no reaction at all, he nodded slightly.

"Sileas," he copied how I greeted him with a cold voice.

I threw a smile again even though my heart was barely breathing. "Long time no see,
uh... how are you?"

He shrugged briefly, his dark eyes stayed on me as if he's completely moved on.

"I'm good."

I took a deep breath and nodded awkwardly.

"T-That's great."

He cocked his to the side while looking at me then he chuckled.

"What are you doing here?"

"Uh, binisita ko iyong kapatid ko. He got shot last week," I said.

He nodded, he took out a box of cigarettes from his pocket and pulled a stick.

"Glad you're already okay with them."

He looked so casual and intimidating at the same time, I couldn't keep my eyes
straight at him that I had to pretend I was looking somewhere to find someone.

"Yeah..."

His eyes didn't leave me, nang humarap ako ay nakatingin pa rin siya habang
tinataktak ang sigarilyo niya sa likuran ng palad. It made me feel more awkward,
kung hindi ko pa narinig ang tunog ng cell phone ko ay baka nagkulay kamatis na ako
sa hiya.

I smiled at him, bahagya akong tumalikod at tumabi sa kabilang banda para sagutin
ang tawag.

"Pal, Bhaltie asked me to fetch you. Saan ka banda?" nakilala ko agad ang boses ni
Zac.

"Zac..." I said. "Uhm, I'm at the entrance area."

"Alright. On my way." He chuckled. "And... caught you."

I blinked and looked for his car, nakita ko naman iyon sa ibaba na huminto. Humarap
ako kay Chancent.

"Uh... mauuna na ako."

He glanced at the car in front and nodded. Hindi ko na siya hinintay magsalita at
umalis para salubungin si Zac na bumaba pa upang pagbuksan ako ng pinto roon.

He smiled when he saw me coming down and my chest twisted, why I couldn't give this
a chance now that I saw how Chancent's doing well?

Lumapit ako sa kanya, inalalayan niya ako sa baywang at inamoy ang buhok ko.

"How was your visit? How's Gunther Placido?" he asked as I slid in, kinabit niya
ang seatbelt ko.

Sumulyap ako kay Chancent, hindi napigilan. He was watching us seriously, I don't
know if his eyes were naturally glaring or it's just the sun rays. My heart
drubbed, I smiled at Zac.

"He's fine now, nakapag-usap din kami."

He nodded with a smile. "Date?"

Ayaw ko sanang matawa pero iyon ang lumabas sa labi ko, my eyes automatically
landed at Chancent again who was puffing his cigarette with unreadable expression.
Umiwas siya ng tingin at napansin ko ang pag-igting ng panga niya.

"Date, as a friend." I chuckled.

Zac just shrugged before he closed the door and went into the other side to drive
away. Sumunod ang tingin ni Chance pero pumasok din siya sa ospital pagtapos itapon
ang sigarilyo sa trash bin. Doon pa lang ako nakahinga ng maluwag pero sa bawat
paghinga ko ay siyang kirot sa dibdib.

Zac and I had lunch together in a fast food, we were just laughing and talking the
whole time. Halos hindi nakakain ng maayos, I really like Zac's air and upon
leaving Chance earlier and seeing his reaction while I was laughing and smiling at
Zac? I don't know how I can give chances to other men around who actually likes me.

"Alam mo kasi, kung may nararamdaman ka pa noong makita mo siya. Go for it!"
Capriana sipped on his tea.

Magkakasama kami ngayon sa labas at kumaing magpipinsan, ako, si Bhaltie at

Capriana. Niyaya ko si Dia kaso ay sasamahan daw si Patch, nasabi naman ni Capriana
na pinapangaralan iyon ni Dia habang sinasamahan kasi wala iyong makausap sa mga
Villareal dahil sa nalaman nilang ginawa nito.

Kanina lang nakita ko ang IG story ni Dia, kasama sila Patch at iyong Spain Roscoe.
Patch looked weak, her eyes were lifeless and I couldn't help but feel sad for her.

"Tama, tama!" Bhaltie agreed while eating his macaroni salad.

I sighed. "Pero may girlfriend na siya, e. Kung may nararamdaman ako, sakit lang
pero hindi na iyong feeling na gusto ko pang magkabalikan kami."

"Dahil nga may girlfriend na siya," si Capriana. "Pal, ramdam mo rin naman iyong
reaction niya noong nakita kayo ni Zac, 'di ba? Anong feeling mo noon? Nasasaktan
ba siya? Galit o wala lang?"

"Hindi ko masabi, parang..." Umiling ako. "Wala lang? O baka inis siya sa akin."

"Why would he feel that? I thought your break up was clear and clean? Walang
cheating and all?" Bhaltie asked.

I nodded. "Wala, we were both cleared it and I told him to let me go completely
because I don't want him to wait for me."

"That was just the right decision!"

Bhaltie took a deep breath. "May girlfriend na? Kung ganoon, magboyfriend ka na
rin. Fall in love again, if you're gonna stay stuck with him while he's happy with
someone else now—"

"You're a loser!" Capriana giggled, sinubuan niya ako ng french fries.

Walang gana ko iyong nginuya at nag-isip. Ngumiwi si Bhaltie.

"No, not a complete loser, though. It's just that, you need to move forward and try
to step up with a different dish. You get what I'm pointing? Kung puro ka Chancent,
hanggang doon ka na lang. E, kung magbigay ka ng chance sa ibang tao, date someone
else and feel it—enjoy. Just like how you eventually like that Estrevillo, it takes
time with step ups."

Capriana rolled her eyes. "That's easy for you to say because you haven't fallen
harder. And mind you, women are different from men. Kung madali sa inyo, mahirap sa
amin."

"Oh, shut up. We are all human, men and women. Stop that mindset. If we can do it,
you can, too."

"Ay, ang bobo Bhaltie! Kaya niyo bang manganak, ha? Nireregla ba kayo buwan-buwan?"

"Capriana, we're talking about feelings and emotions! Not that freaking pregnancy
and such, ang gusto ko lang sabihin—"

"Weh, wala na. Nag-Tagalog na, bulol na. Wala na akong gana makinig." Capriana made
faces. "Eng gowsto ke leng sabehin. Goldness, Bhaltie!"

I laughed loudly while listening to them. Oh my gosh, I don't know how to take this
seriously now!

Nagdebate at talo na silang dalawa roon habang ako ay nakikinig at tumatawa sa

bawat asaran nila. Hindi ko alam kung kailan sila nahinto dahil hanggang sa
maihatid nila ako sa bahay ay nagtatalo silang dalawa.

Days continued rolling, madalas kong kasama sila Capriana lumabas kung saan-saan.
They were talking me to bars for how many nights now and I was enjoying it, may mga
kaibigan din silang iba na nakakasama namin. Si Bhaltie ang palaging bantay namin,
nakakatuwa na hindi niya kami pinabayaan kahit kailan. Ayos lang siya na hindi
uminom at kami ni Capriana ang magsaya buong gabi habang siya ay nakamata lang sa
amin buong gabi.

After retouching my make up, I looked at my dress. Medyo bumaba ang strap noon kaya
inayos ko, I'm wearing a royal blue velvet bodycon strappy dress. My straight
smooth hair was down completely, cut in the middle.

I went out after fixing myself and my ears welcome the loud music again. I
carefully walked to go back to our table but someone approached my line of vision
and it was Grant Silva. Namilog agad ang mga mata ko, kahit medyo madilim ay hindi
naman siya mahirap kilalanin.
"Grant!"

He smiled. "Hi, Pallavi. I didn't expect to see you here."

"I'm with my cousins tonight, how are you? Sorry nga pala at hindi ako nakapunta
noong celebration mo sa Canada."

I didn't expect that he's in Manila now!

"It's fine, Tita Fili told me about what happened to your brother," he said. "Do
you have a date tonight or only relatives?"

"Relatives, why?"

Grant was good looking... he's one of the good looking people I know, he's always
serious in a nice way and really gentleman.

"Just wanna make sure so it won't be rude to invite you on our table?" he puckered
his lips with puppy eyes. "Please?"

I looked away and chuckled before nodding. "Sure, Grant! Bayad ko man lang sa hindi
pagpunta sa celebration mo!"

"Fine! Deal!" he laughed as he held on my lower back and we walked together.

He was telling a lot of things and asking about me while walking towards their
table, they were in a VIP area. Hindi ko gaanong maaninag ang mga naroon kaya
pinagsawalang bahala ko na lang at kinausap si Grant hanggang sa makalapit na kami
at pinakilala niya ako.

"Hey, this is Pallavi Villareal!" he chuckled then looked at me. "These are my
friends here, Thor Grande, Aethelred Vizconde, Heilder and Chance Estrevillo."

My heart drubbed rapidly and I couldn't breathe properly, mabilis akong nagpakalma
sa sarili at inisip na wala lang ito. I should be fucking confident, I shouldn't be
bothered by these Estrevillos.

I smiled at them and nodded casually. Iba ang grupo nila at hindi ganoon kaingay,
parang lahat kasi sila ay pormal at may dalang pangalan na kailangan ingatan kahit
saan. They're just here to chill.

Naupo kami ni Grant, nag-uusap pa rin kami tungkol sa trabaho pero hindi ako
mapakali dahil pakiramdam ko ay may nagmamatyag sa akin. Chancent was in front of
us with Heilder and Aethelred Vizconde, I feel so trapped because of these
Estrevillos here. Hindi ko talaga inasahan na iisang circle sila ni Grant! My
goodness, what a timing and fate.

Ilang minuto akong nakatingin lang kay Grant pero nang abutan siya ng baso ulit ay
nahinto kami sa usapan kaya wala akong nagawa kundi ang tumingin sa mga kasama. Ang
awkward naman kung kay Grant pa rin ako tumitig habang umiinom siya, he also gave
me a drink. I slowly sipped on it and my eyes automatically glanced at Chance's
side. Habang ang iba ay abala sa pormal na usapan, siya ay nakatitig sa bote sa
harapan at isang angat lang ng tingin ay sa akin na iyon nakatama.

I decided to smile a bit when our eyes met, he arched a brow and clenched his jaw.
My heart was getting wilder each second by his facial expressions as if there's
really something wrong while I'm around. Medyo nairita ako, lalo pa nang tumayo
siya at maglakad paalis.
Bakit ba siya galit sa akin? Masaya naman na siya, 'di ba, sa bago niya? Bakit
naiirita siya sa akin!

I looked at the table, abala si Grant sa pakikipag-usap kay Thor Grande kaya hindi
na ako nagpaalam at tahimik na tumayo rin para sundan si Chancent. I feel so bad
for being like an intruder everytime he's around, what's his problem?

He exited the bar and I followed him, paglabas pa lang niya ay nagsalita na ako.

"Anong problema mo, Chance?"

Nahinto siya sa paghakbang pero hindi humarap. My heart was twisting in irritation,
I walked in front of him and looked up at his face to catch his eyes.

"Huh? What's your issue? Bakit parang palagi kang iritado kapag nasa lugar ako na
nakikita mo?"

"Because it's irritating," he said casually.

My eyes widened and ached at the same time.

"What do you mean? Bakit ka maiirita sa akin, wala naman akong ginagawang masama
sayo? Come on, we both settled in a good way. Why are you being mean?"

"Who wouldn't be, Sileas? You were dating a lot of men around, is that what you
learned for the past years?" he said darkly.

I feel insulted, my chest constricted.

"Ano namang pake mo doon, Chance? It's not like you'd be ruined by everything I do
here! We're individuals, it's not your business anymore and you know nothing about
me for the past years so stop talking as if you were there all the time!" I
scoffed. "I don't know what's your problem but please, I don't wanna have some
trouble. Ayaw ko ng may kaaway o anuman, if you're gonna be like that everytime
we'd cross ways—"

"Then, don't cross."

I gasped in disbelief. "You're acting so immature! And... bitter!"

"Because I am, Sileas!" he hissed venomously.

My jaw dropped while looking at him, he looked so dark that made my heart jump
nervously.

"Hindi ko alam kung bakit mo pa pinapakita sa akin na kung sinu-sino ang kasama mo
at nakakahawak sayo, Sileas. Or is that your way to make me see that you're already
happy after years... I don't know." He shook his head a bit and shrugged with a
humorless chuckle. "Just stop crossing the line now. I don't wanna see you."

My brows furrowed as he walked past me, my eyes watered immediately. Napahikbi ako
at nilingon ang kanyang pag-alis, bakit lalo yata akong nasasaktan?

Ang sama niya!

#UM36
#UM36

Pinalis ko ang luha sa aking pisngi habang naglalakad pabalik sa lamesa ng mga
pinsan ko, ayaw ko nang bumalik kila Grant kaya naman nagtext na lang ako na
kailangan kong bumalik sa table namin para lang maimporma siya dahil nakakahiya
kung biglaan akong nawala.

My whole night was spoiled, I didn't drink more with my cousins and just kept
myself busy—it was a good thing that they did not force me anymore to jibe in.
Hindi lang ako makaahon mula sa mga sinabi ni Chance kaya hanggang sa sumunod na
araw ay iyon ang pilit sumusuksok sa isip ko.

Sa aming dalawa ni Chance, akala ko siya iyong makikita kong mas masaya na at
walang halong pait sa pagkikita namin ulit pero bakit parang mali ang mga inasahan
ko lahat? While weighing his words last night, I couldn't help but think that he's
bitter and we need to talk for closure—real one. He doesn't wanna see me smiling
and hanging around his path, I just can't understand why would he feel that way
when he's already moved on from everything? Or did he?

I raised my eyebrow and chin as I heard a click on the door, I collected all my
confidence before the opening—only to be very disappointed and hurt.

Nagkatinginan kami ni Patch, kapwa gulat sa presensya ng isa't isa pero lamang sa
akin ang pighati sa kalooban. What's the meaning of this? Fuck, why? I mean... I
don't know but this really hurt big time, I didn't expect that her face would
welcome me on Chancent's condo unit. She's wearing a white oversized shirt and her
hair was messy.

She smiled a bit, awkwardly.

"U-Uh, hey—"

I didn't let her finish, I casually stepped back and turned around to walk away
from the suffocating place as if I did not see anyone at all. I thank myself for
being still so formal while walking, pagkaliko sa kaliwang pasilyo ay saka pa lang
ako nakaramdam ng panghihina. My chest tightened so bad, saglit na pumikit ako bago
pinindot ang elevator button.

I wanted to ask her questions but I shouldn't, I don't have the right to because
Chance and I aren't together anymore.

Ang sakit, hindi ko matanggap. Bakit ganoon? Bakit, Chance? Sa haba ng panahon,
bakit siya pa rin pala ang magiging issue kahit hindi na tayo? So, they're together
now, huh? Living in one fucking condo!

Nang magbukas ang elevator ay lalo akong nakaramdam ng iba-ibang emosyon dahil si
Chancent ang naroon, he was untying his necktie to loosen up and was about to step
out when his eyes met my teary eyes. Mabilis kong iniwas ang tingin at walang
nagawa kundi ang pumasok doon, my insides were crying inside and I don't know how
to hide my face now to be saved.

He stopped and stepped backwards to lean on the wall, he didn't go out that
confused me. Hindi ko na lang pinansin at pinindot ang button ng ground floor. I
tried so hard to swallow my emotions, nagyuko lamang ako ng ulo at nagkunwaring
abala sa aking cell phone.

I went here to talk to him but upon seeing Patch in his condo? Huwag na lang, hindi
na siguro kailangan. Ayaw ko nang masaktan, hindi na dapat. I shouldn't care who he
was with, I already let him go years ago. I'm just trying to earn a friendship but
I don't think I can right now, we shouldn't be friends... not now that I'm still
hurting.

I bit my bottom lip and straightened up, facing the door with our reflection. Hindi
ko alam kung bakit nabuhusan ako ng panibagong emosyon dahil sa alaala, we had been
in elevators back then—capturing our sweet photos together for memories and that
fucking hurts to be with him in here, dapat pala hindi na ako sumakay. Dapat doon
na lang sa kabila!

Ang tanga ko talaga. Ang tanga-tanga.

I caught his serious eyes in the reflection, unang paglapag ng elevator ay agad
akong lumabas kahit wala pa sa ground floor. Mabuti na lang at may sumakay doon, I
quickly walked out and clicked a button on the other elevator. Akala ko ay hindi
siya sumunod pero laking gulat ko nang makita ko siya sa paglingon ko, nakapamulsa
at nakatingin na may bahagyang pagtataka pa nang makitang pinipindot ko ang button.

Kapag minamalas nga naman, nasa pinakaibaba pa ang isang elevator. I didn't react,
I stood up there to wait without saying a word and all formal. Hindi dapat ako
magpatalo sa emosyon na ito, wala akong karapatan na gawin iyon sa harapan niya.
Ayaw kong mapahiya.

"Hindi rito ang condo ni Grant o Vizcarra..." he stated slowly with firmness.

Insulting as fuck.

"I know," I countered formally. "I'm not here for them, though."

"I see." His jaw clamped and I could hear his anger as if he thinks of something
else.

I sighed and glanced at him casually.

"Para sayo sana pero nagbago na ang isip ko."

It's okay to admit it but my mind really changed, ayaw ko na siyang makausap.

Nagtaas siya ng kilay, medyo gulat sa sinabi ko.

"Didn't I tell you not to cross it again?"

I looked at him as my heart hurts. "Sino ba ang sumunod sa atin dito, Chancent?
Bumaba nga ako para iwasan ka, bakit ako na naman ang mali?"

His jaw sharpened and he looked away.

"Why are you crying?"

Kumunot ang noo ko, hindi ko napansin iyon kaya pinahiran ko agad ang luha sa
pisngi at saka huminga ng malalim.

"You're out of it."

"Really, huh?" he said sarcastically.

I glared as tears promptly fell down without permission. "E, 'di, oo na. Umiiyak na
ako! Ano naman ngayon sayo 'yon?"

Hindi siya nagsalita, mariin lamang ang titig sa akin.

"I'm sorry if we crossed paths again, I promise to avoid you next time. Don't
worry! Hindi mo na ako kailangan sundan para pagsabihan ulit!" I motioned the other
elevator. "Just fucking go, Chance!"
Totoo iyon, pagtapos ng holiday season ay babalik ako sa Canada para magtrabaho
ulit. Life must go on, knowing about him and Patch will never stop my life from
walking. For years, I learned how to stand up without anyone's help. Ano pa ngayon
ito? I had been in an unholy mess, this is just a piece of cake now.

Hindi siya natinag, umirap ako at nagpapasalamat na bumukas ang elevator kaya
pumasok ako roon at nagmamadaling pinindot ang close button pero sumunod din siya
sa loob at halata ang iritasyon.

"I'm asking, why are you crying?"

"Why do you care?" I spat irritably. "Wala kang pakealam, puwede ba? Kaya huwag
kang matanong!"

"I care," he said lowly and his chest heaved. "I still care..."

I threw him a glare. "Really, Chance? Sabihin mo iyan sa akin kung hindi ko narinig
ang mga sinabi mo kagabi. You're acting as if you haven't moved on yet—"

"That's true. I haven't."

My teeth gritted. "Stop pretending bitter to make me feel guilty!"

"I'm not pretending."

"Stop it!" sigaw ko sa kanya. "You're just acting up to make me feel guilty all
these years after our break up! I thought you accepted it completely and we were
clear!"

"I accepted it to let you go, Sileas. I didn't accept it for myself. Why do you
think I get fucking pissed everytime I see you with some men, huh?"

I bit my trembling lips to cover my sobs, I shook my head because I'm confused.
Hindi ko alam, ang masasabi ko lang ay umaakto siyang bitter para ipamukha sa akin
ang guilt. Napag-usapan namin iyon at tinanggap niya ang desisyon ko.

"Bakit mo ako sinadya rito? Do you wanna talk or what?" he asked impatiently.

"I-I wanted to talk but I don't think I can right now, I'm mad, Chance..." I shook
my head twice and a sob slipped out of my lips.

Fuck, why am I this weak in front of him?

His jaw clenched but he raised a brow.

"Mad?"

Hindi ako nagsalita, kinagat ko lamang ang labing nanginginig sa pigil na emosyon.

"Nakita mo si Patch sa itaas?" he guessed.

My shoulders shook, I bowed my head and inhaled my emotions. He sighed heavily.

"I don't really need to explain myself to you, Sileas—"

"Alam ko! Hindi naman ako nanghihingi ng explanation, e!" nang magbukas ang
elevator ay agad akong nanguna sa paglabas at lumakad palayo.
He pulled my wrist that made me come back like a spring and the way he holds me
made me feel more lonely as if he wasn't real, I cried quietly and closed my eyes
tightly while wiping my tears.

"I'm not with Patch!" he hissed in irritation.

"Anong ginagawa niya sa condo mo at suot ang damit mo!?" I fired back without
thinking. I'm so disappointed. I shouldn't tell that.

"She slept there with my sister, mas malapit kasi ito sa bar na pinuntahan nila
kagabi kaya doon tumuloy. I left them when they arrived drunk and just finished my
paperworks in the office the whole night."

I shook my head and pulled my wrist back to walk out because I don't wanna make him
see how weak I am, still. Mabilis akong naglakad palabas ng building, namataan ko
ang tinginan ng staff sa front desk at ilang guests na nasa lobby ngayon lalo pa
nang makitang si Chance ang nakasunod sa akin.

I exited the building successfully and I felt his grip around my forearm again, it
was tight but not hurting me. I wriggled harshly, he just held me tighter.

"Kung mayroon man sa ating may bago, ikaw lang iyon, Sileas."

Ako pa talaga ang sinasabihan niya ng ganyan? Sino ba ang may sinundong babae sa
airport at ospital, at ngayon naman ay sa condo niya?

Tinaliman ko siya ng tingin. "Wala akong bago!"

His lips parted a bit, may tinanguan siya sa kabilang banda at nakita kong valet
iyon na agad sumunod sa kanyang muwestra. I wriggled more when I realized it, he
pulled my wrist while his jaw was clenching.

"Ano ba, Chance!" I hissed while wriggling.

Ilang saglit lang ay huminto ang itim na Chevrolet sa aming harapan, nagpupumiglas
ako nang hilahin niya at binuksan ang pinto.

"Get in or I'll carry you in," he warned sternly.

"Ayaw kong sumama sayo!"

"You're here for me, right? Get in," he demanded as he held on my waist and pushed
me gently to go in.

I huffed, my heart was drubbing so fast. When I glared at him, I quickly melted
like a kitten. He was glaring back seriously, his eyes were bloodshot as if
everything I do is hurting him. My chest constricted and I couldn't breathe
properly, umiwas ako ng tingin at sumakay na lamang gaya ng kagustuhan niya.

Tahimik ang biyahe noon, hindi ko alam kung saan kami papunta pero hindi ako
nagtanong dahil alam ko namang hindi niya ako ipapahamak. Hindi ako makatingin sa
kanya, kahit sulyap ay hirap kong gawin dahil natatakot akong makita na nasasaktan
ko siya sa kahit anong paraan.

Chance was transparent, until now. He doesn't know how to hide his expressive dark
eyes all the time.

"Sorry, Sileas..." he mumbled. "I'm sorry for being harsh." He looked at my arm and
saw how his grip a while back reacted on my skin, he gasped.
I didn't talk, tumingin lamang ako sa labas ng bintana. Hindi naman ako nasaktan
doon, ayos lang. Madali lang talagang mamula ang balat ko sa kaunting diin.

"Patch and Nyxinea are friends, I can't change that."

I nodded quietly. "I know... you don't need to explain it. Sabi mo nga, hindi mo
kailangan magpaliwanag sa akin."

"What do you wanna talk about?" he sighed. "You still mad?"

I inhaled. "Let's just talk some other time, Chance. Wala pa akong ganang makipag-
usap ngayong araw."

His jaw clenched but he nodded. Still the same understanding Chancent that I know.

"Okay, I'll just bring you home."

Iyon nga ang ginawa niya, hinatid niya ako sa bahay namin at wala kaming imikan sa
ilang minutong biyahe. I went out of his car as he halted in front of our house,
bumaba rin siya bago pa ako makapag doorbell sa gate.

He put his hand in his pocket while watching me, I pushed the door bell and waited.
I heard him sigh.

"Tomorrow?"

Nilingon ko siya. "Lalabas kami nila Capriana."

He looked like he wanted to protest but he just nodded.

"Where?"

I shrugged simply. "I don't know yet."

"Kailan ang libreng oras mo?" halos may bahid pa iyon ng pagmamakaawa at pait.

"H-Hindi ko alam, Chance..."

I don't wanna talk to him, I might cry.

Nawaglit ang pagtitinginan namin nang magbukas ang gate at nasalubong ko agad ang
mga mata ni Papa, he's wearing a white button down shirt and a slacks with his Nike
slides. Mukhang kakauwi lang.

"Oh, Chancent's here." He smirked.

Lumapit ako para humalik sa pisngi niya, he caressed my back gently and smiled.

"We're preparing the table for lunch, you should come in." Papa nodded like an
invitation.

Suminghap ako pero hindi nagreklamo roon, inaasahan ko namang tatanggihan ni Chance
iyon. Nauna na akong pumasok at hinayaan sila roon, I went into the dining area and
found Grant Silva there who's helping Mama on the table.

"Grant, maupo ka na lang diyan. Ako na ang bahala rito, baka sabihin pa ni Gretha
ay inaalila ang unico hijo niya." Tawa ni Mama.
"It's fine, Tita."

"Oh, Sileas! Our lovely woman!" Mama lauded, lumapit ako para bumeso. "Grant was
waiting for you, sabay-sabay tayong mananghalian."

I nodded and smiled, nginitian ko rin si Grant nang ipaghila niya ako ng upuan. I
sat down and looked at the dishes on the table, kumulo ang tiyan ko sa gutom pero
pakiramdam ko ay wala akong ganang kumain.

"No, it's a nice start for a business," si Papa iyon.

Halos pamutlaan ako ng mukha nang makita ang kasama niya, I expected that he'd
decline it because we're not really in good terms!

"Chance?" may gulat na sambit ni Grant bago naupo sa aking tabi.

Chancent nodded, clenched jaw. "Grant."

Grant glanced at me with confusion, I smiled awkwardly and looked away. Instead of
minding them, I just prepared my plate with a little scoop of rice.

Gulat din si Mama nang makita si Chance pero hindi naman nagsalita lalo nang
malaman niyang magkaibigan ang dalawa, bumati si Chance sa kanya. We all settled
around the table to eat together, Papa and Chance were talking about business
matters.

"Want more rice?" Grant asked lowly beside me.

I shook my head with a smile. "I'm already good. Thanks!"

Marahang pinunasan ni Grant ang gilid ng labi ko habang nakatitig sa akin, halos
maubo ako sa gulat pero ngumiti na lang ako at muling nagpasalamat.

Mama giggled quietly, si Papa naman ay tumikhim kaya napatingin ako sa kanya na
nagpapahiwatig doon. It was really awkward.

Chancent was looking at us sternly as if no one's here but the three of us and he's
free to glare. I just continued eating casually. Fortunately, the topic rounded by
time but Chance's eyes were kept glancing, almost glaring. Hindi ko alam kung
napapansin iyon ni Grant.

"Arki was Grandes' lawyer, right?" Grant asked to open a topic.

"Uh, not really. He's not working for them," Papa answered. "He's open for anyone's
case and he only cares about money so no one can really buy him alone."

"Oh, I thought..."

Natawa si Papa. "Thor Grande was just one of his clients."

"Pasaway naman ang batang 'yon," ani Mama. "Parating napapaaway kaya kailangan
talaga may lawyer."

Tumawa si Grant at tumango bilang sang-ayon.

"Ilang taon na ba iyon? Hindi yata nagmana kay Chad."

"He's just twenty, though."

"Oh, he's young that's why!"

Hindi ko alam kung paano ako nakatagal sa hapagkainan kasama sila, naiilang ako sa
mga tingin ni Chance na tila parurusahan ako kapag kaming dalawa na lang. My cheeks
were heating everytime I catch his gaze, it was undeniably screaming like heaven
and hell collided. He seemed mad, always a white devil in disguise.

Umakyat ako pagtapos nang pananghalian para makapagpalit ng damit, hindi ko alam
kung anong plano ni Chance at Grant sa ibaba pero sana ay umalis na silang dalawa
dahil masyado akong stressed sa araw na ito at ayaw ko nang madagdagan pa iyon.

Luckily, the day passed smoothly. Next day at night, I went out with Capriana and
Dia as what we planned to do. May mga kasama silang kaibigan kaya mas lumaki ang
aming lamesa at mas sumaya ang kuwentuhan. I got used to jibe in eventually,
nakakausap ko na ang mga kaibigan nila at nakakatawanan.

"I'm practicing law, can you be my paralegal someday?" Austin said, laughing.

"Oh, come on!" Capriana chanted.

"Kinikilig ako kaso baka may sabit ang isa sa inyo! Mahirap na!"

"Well, I'm very single!"

"Go, Pal! Date him! You're also single, right?" Dia cheered.

Umirap si Capriana pagtapos sumimsim sa kanyang inumin at sumulyap sa isang gawi.

"Ewan ko na lang kung may magtatangka pa."

Sumulyap din ako sa pinanggalingan ng mga mata niya at namataan ko agad ang
pamilyar na bulto ni Chancent, he was standing with his friends—creating a small
circle while talking, may babae rin sa tabi niya at nakilala ko dahil iyon ang
doktorang sinundo niya sa airport noon. Kapwa silang may hawak na mga baso at
kaswal sa kanilang puwesto, their area seems too intimidating because most of them
were wearing corporate attire.

I saw how he looked away simply when I turned my head, napataas ang kilay ko habang
nakatingin sa kanila. Hindi ko alam kung ilang beses akong hinihigop ng bandang
iyon at parating napapasulyap. Bumulong ang babae kay Chancent, dahil sa lakas ng
musika ay bahagyang yumuko si Chance para dinggin ang sinabi noon.

Huminga ako ng malalim at iniwas ang tingin, I drank a straight shot immediately as
my blood was slowly boiling upto my head. I didn't collect myself for years just to
be like this because of damn jealousy.

I heard Capriana's laugh, umusog siya para makatabi sa akin.

"Sakit?"

Natawa ako, hindi matantiya kung sarkastiko iyon o normal. "It's nothing, really."

"Asus! Hindi na uso iyan, Pal! Selos-tiis? It's only a loser's move!"

"Ano bang uso?" natatawa kong tanong.

She pouted and glanced at Austin, she jerked her head to make a point and I got it.
I laughed.

"What?" she chuckled. "Pull him and dance with him, the dance floor was so wide to
be wasted without making someone jealous tonight!"

"Hindi pa ako lasing para gawin iyan, Capri." Iling ko.

Her eyes widened in fake shock then she shook her head in dismay. "Then, pretend to
be drunk! No one knows how many shots you've had!"

Tsk, let's see.

I stood up and drank another shot, my face distorted in bitterness but I laughed.
Napatingin agad si Austin sa akin, I grinned at him and pulled his collar. His eyes
widened in amusement but he stood up while nodding.

"Uh-huh, she wanna dance!"

"That's alright! Go! Go!" Capriana shooed. "Just be careful where to touch her,
okay? Or our cousins will kick your ass, bitch!"

Humalakhak si Austin at tumango, he held me on my waist as we walked towards the

crowded dance floor. I'm still good and I trust Austin, we'll just dance. Wala
namang masama roon.

Gusto ko lang din naman magsayaw, hindi ito para galitin si Chancent.

"Maybe, we should date!" ani Austin.

"Uhm, I'll think about it!"

"Woah, ouch! No one told me that!"

Humalakhak ako, wala akong planong makipagdate. Austin isn't a bad idea, he seems
nice in a playful way but not my type. I don't think we'll work out. Heto ang hirap
sa akin, hindi pa nga nasusubukan ay umaayaw na.

Chance just fucking put a spell in me, it feels like no one would beat him out of
me.

Austin held my hand to put it on his shoulder but before he could do that, I felt
myself being pulled. Nang lingunin ko ay nakita ko agad ang madilim na aura ni
Chancent, his jaw was clenching as he threw a dark look at Austin who seems
confused.

"Dude, there are tons of girls here. You can't just pull mine," Austin said.

Chancent's brows furrowed, naramdaman ko ang paghigpit ng hawak niya sa braso ko na

tila kumukuyom na ang kamao niya roon.

I flinched and glared at him.

"Chan—" hindi ako nakatapos sa pagsasalita at mabilis niya akong dinarag paalis sa
dance floor. Halos matalisod at mabangga ko na ang mga taong nadadaanan namin.

"Ano ba, Chancent!? You have no right to drag me like that!"

Hindi siya nakinig, patuloy pa rin ang darag sa akin. I was wriggling forcibly but
he'd just drag me more.

"Let go, asshat!" I shouted angrily. "I wanna dance!"

His grip tightened that made me flinch soundly.

"Stop dragging me! Nasasaktan ako!"

"Then, fucking stop wriggling 'cause I won't let you go back to fucking dance with
that boy!" he hissed.

My eyes heated in frustration. "Bakit naman kita susundin? Hindi mo ako utusan at
lalong wala na tayo para umakto ka pang ganito!"

"Please, Sileas. Just shut up!"

I gasped in disbelief, lalo akong nagpumiglas.

"No, you shut up and let me go! Bakit ang pakealamero mo?"

I didn't notice that we already exited the bar that made me more frustrated and
mad, lumuwag ang kapit niya sa braso ko at sa inis ko ay pinaghahampas ko siya
gamit ang isa kong kamay.

"Nakakainis ka talaga!"

"Mas nakakainis ka," may iritasyon niyang balik.

I gasped, nagulat pa ako nang huminto ang pamilyar niyang sasakyan sa harapan at
bumaba roon ang unipormadong driver.

"Sir," bati noon.

Tumango lang si Chance, sumakay ulit ang driver sa unahan. Kumawala ako at
nagtagumpay naman pero muling pumulupot ang kamay niya sa maliit kong baywang at
saka ako hinila patungong sasakyan.

"Chancent, this is fucking harassment! I said I don't wanna go with you!" sigaw ko
sa kanya.

"Tss, sue me."

He pushed me in with gentleness while still holding my waist to support and he slid
in after me, he immediately closed the door.

"FEST Towers," he commanded and the driver drove away without a word.

My eyes were heating, I removed his hand on my waist angrily and glared at him.
Panga lang niya ang umigting sa kilos ko, ang mga kilay niya ay nanatiling salubong
sa inis.

"What now, Chancent, huh? You think this will change our status? Dream on!"

Malamig niya akong nilingon, hindi ako sanay sa ganoong tingin niya kahit kailan
kaya tumitindig ang mga balahibo ko na tila naduduwag.

"If it won't then I'll stop, don't worry. Just shut up for now, you're making me
fucking mad."

I looked at my hands on my lap as tears started rolling down, hindi ko alam kung
bakit ako nakakaramdam ng biglaang panlalamig at kaduwagan sa tono niya. He was so
cold, I couldn't feel the warmth of my Chancent anymore.
A small sob slipped out of my lips while inhaling to calm my emotions down.

"You're ignoring my texts so we can talk just to party all night, when do you want
to talk? After another four years?" he asked sarcastically.

I sobbed and didn't speak.

"You're still unfair," he hissed quietly.

Dumami ang hikbi ko na parang nasermonang bata. I get his point, I'm always unfair
since we were together. Siya ang palaging umiintindi sa akin, naiinis ako na alam
ko naman ang punto niya pero ayaw kong magpatalo dahil galit ako sa kanya.

Who's that fucking doctora he was always with? Nagagalit siya sa mga lalaking
nakikita niyang nakakasama ko pero hindi niya maramdaman ang inis ko sa doktorang
iyon! Hindi ba't unfair din iyon?

But whatever!

"And now you're using your fucking tears?" he gasped in disbelief.

"I'm not using it, damn you!" I hissed irritably.

Natahimik ang biyahe ng ilang minuto habang ako ay maliliit na hikbi ang nagagawa
dahil sa hindi ko maikalma ang puso kong halu-halo ang katanungan at sinasabi.

I looked outside the closed window while crying quietly, marahan akong umusog upang
sumiksik sa pinto at hindi malapit sa kanya. Maya-maya pa ay narinig ko ang
pagbuntong-hininga niya bago ang pag-urong niya para abutin ang aking siko, my
heart skipped a rhythm at his gentle touch.

I sobbed more, iniwas ko ang braso. He sighed again and moved closer, his huge hand
reached for my back. Sumuksok sa likuran ko ang kanyang braso upang pumulupot
patungo sa kabilang tagiliran ko, chills ran through my spine as his nose touched
my ears. I could smell the mix of whiskey and mint in his breath, I swallowed and
tried to wriggle but I felt suddenly so weak in his arm.

"Distance, Chance..." I mumbled weakly.

"I'm sorry..." he whispered in my ear with his rough deep voice and his arm
tightened around my waist to pull me more as if he doesn't want a space between us.
"I'm sorry, I couldn't control myself anymore. I'm fucking frustrated and
desperate, I want your attention. I want to talk."

That made me inhale deeply, my lips trembled.

"Mag-uusap naman t-tayo, Chance."

"Gusto ko ngayon na," mahina niyang sinabi.

"O-Okay..."

His chest heaved, I could feel the rise and fall of his chest. Humigpit ang yakap
niya sa baywang ko at binaon ang mukha sa aking balikat na tila talunang leon.

I closed my eyes tight, my heart was floating in the air even without more words.
Our closeness was so damn enough to make me feel emotional and complete.

Ayaw ko man aminin pero pakiramdam ko ay ngayon lamang ako nakauwi, tila siya ang
tahanan na kumpleto sa kahit anong anggulo.

Chancent, how did you make me live in your arms without even trying?
#UM37
#UM37

Diretso kaming bumaba sa bukana ng FEST Towers, kung hindi ako nagkakamali ay
pagmamay-ari rin ito ng kanilang pamilya. This was one of their luxury hotels
around the Philippines, pagkapasok pa lang ay alam kong hindi ito biro. I saw some
familiar celebrities approaching the way to the hallways and elevators, hindi matao
ang lobby at may iilan lang na dumaraan na kilala sa industriya.

Chancent was on the phone while we're heading towards the hallway where the
elevators are in line. I don't have anything with me, I left my pouch at the bar.
Chance didn't have to press a button, the elevator opened quickly. Nauna akong
pumasok at sumunod siya, pinindot naman ang halos nasa hulihang button.

"I'm out tonight, just call your driver to fetch you."

I settled on the left side of the elevator and leaned my back on the corner, I saw
him watching me seriously in the reflection. He looks so superior in his three
piece corporate suit, black vest and white button down shirt beneath the black
coat. His hair was a bit messy in a formal brushed up style, some strand fell on
his forehead that gave him a Man of Steel vibe.

He sighed and ended the phone call, binulsa niya ang cell phone sa slacks habang
ang mga mata ay nakamasid sa akin.

Nanatili ang tingin kong diretso sa pintuang salamin, pagod siyang sumandal sa
haligi at nag-umpisa ng uminit ang mga pisngi ko dahil sa panunuod niya. His eyes
were unreadable but I could feel the sadness that makes me feel blues.

"Stop staring, Chance..." I said.

Huminga siya ng malalim at nagbaba ng tingin.

"I'm sorry. Does it scare you?"

Kumunot ang noo ko at nilingon siya. "Hindi, Chance. I-It's just... awkward."

I saw the side of his lips rose a bit.

"I missed you... still missing you, Sileas."

Damn it, why does it sound so painful? I swallowed and looked at my entwined hands,
I suddenly lost my words because of my fast heart beating. Akala ko ba nakakalakas
ng loob ang epekto ng alak, bakit naduduwag ako ngayon?

I don't wanna say it but I must admit that I missed him, too. So much.

"Those four years without you were the hardest years of my life..."

"Chance, please." I shook my head, remembering his doctora. "Stop telling me that
when in fact, you're happy now."

He smirked humorlessly. "Course, Sileas. I'm happy because you came back."

My eyes widened.
"Seriously? I don't believe you!"

"Tss, kailan ka ba naniwala at nagtiwala? Hindi na ako nagtataka riyan."

My heart hurt. "Ibang usapan ang ngayon, Chance! I don't believe you because I know
you're with someone else now and yet you're telling me about your lonely four years
because of me!"

Hindi naman ako nagagalit na mayroon na siyang iba, ayaw ko lang na pinagmumukha
niyang parang ako ang may kasalanan kahit na iyon ang katotohanan. Ano naman kung
mayroon na siyang iba? Hindi ko naman inaasahan na wala dahil alam kong maraming
darating sa buhay niya na mas better kaysa sa akin. I just can't understand why is
he acting like this.

Yes, it's sad and painful because I realized that deep within me, my heart still
belongs to him. Pero wala naman akong magagawa kung siya ay kabaliktaran noon, kung
nakamove on na siya. Magiging masaya rin ako balang araw.

His brows furrowed, his eyes were bloodshot.

"You were not listening, too," he said quietly as the elevator opened.

Lumakad siya palabas at hindi agad ako nakasunod dahil sa kaba, nang maramdaman
niya iyon ay humarap siya nang nakapamulsa at nakaigting ang panga. I don't know
why seeing him in front of me feels like already a home and our distance was
painful, mas gusto ko iyong malapit kami at ramdam ko kahit kaunting dikit lang.

His head jerked on the right side, motioning me to get out. I blinked and gulped
down, lumakad ako palabas. Isang hallway na hindi kahabaan na lang ang naroon,
patungo sa isang pinto.

"Wala akong iba," taimtim niyang sinabi nang malagpasan ko siya.

"I-I saw you at the airport... at the hospital, Chance..." I murmured hesitatingly.
"With the same woman, alam kong wala akong karapatang kuwestiyunin iyon dahil
nilinaw ko iyon bago tayo magbreak noon. Ayaw ko lang na umaakto kang ganito, hindi
ko kasi alam kung gusto mo lang akong saktan at gantihan. I just thought we were
alright."

He didn't speak, he walked beside me.

"I wanted you to—to have someone else. You don't need to lie," medyo nauutal kong
sinabi dahil sa aking emosyong bumibigat sa bawat paghakbang.

"I don't need to lie." He nodded. "A year after you left me, I tried everything to
forget you but I ended up waiting like a fucked up lover until your come back.
Yeah, I don't need to lie. Kaya bakit ako magsisinungaling tungkol dito, Sileas?"

Napahinto ako sa paglalakad para harapin siya pero nawalan naman ako ng sasabihin,
naiiyak na ako sa kabigatan ng dibdib ko. Every beat of my heart feels like a knife
inside my chest.

His eyes were dark and yet so painful to see.

"That woman you're telling, she's just a family friend and Mom's personal doctor."

Napakurap-kurap ako, ayaw ko man sabihin pero para akong nabunutan ng ilang tinik
at kutsilyo sa dibdib.
He inhaled deeply and his eyes softened while looking at me.

"And you know why I'm mad? Because with all the fucking risk, I fucking waited, I
fucking stayed where you left me. Nagalit ako dahil sa kabila ng paghihintay ko,
alam kong walang kasiguraduhan iyon at ako lang ang nakasugal. I waited for fucking
nothing because you're with someone else! At mali pa ako dahil marami pala iyon,
Sileas! Hindi lang iyong Vizcarra, hindi lang iyong Silva!"

"C-Chance, we—we t-talked about it before—" natataranta ako at hindi alam ang
uunahin.

"I fucking know that, I got carried away. Ginusto ko na lang umalis ng bansa at
lumayo kung nasaan ka pero sayo pa rin naman dinadala ng mga paa ko. Wala, e. Mahal
kita kaya nandito pa rin ako, wala na akong pake kung mayroon kang iba. Maghihintay
pa rin ako."

Humakbang siya at hinawakan ang magkabilang siko ko padausdos sa aking mga kamay na
nanlalamig at halos nanginginig, pagod siyang nagyuko ng ulo bago inangat ang mga
kamay ko sa kanyang labi at nilapatan iyon ng halik. Huminga siya ng malalim, tila
nahahati sa kanyang pagpapatibay at emosyon.

"I'm still madly in love with you, Sileas..." he whispered on my hands. "I'm sorry
if I did not move on as what you wanted. Ilang beses kong sinubukan, pero hindi
kaya."

"Chance..." my voice was shaky and almost crying, I bowed my head and tears
promptly fell down my cheeks.

What good things did I do to deserve him? To deserve a man like this? To deserve a
faithful man like home?

Mabilis ko ring inangat ang aking ulo at walang ibang nagawa kundi ang yakapin
siya, I cried on his chest like a kid and I couldn't find words to describe how
thankful I am that he waited even without assurances. Ang sarap-sarap sa
pakiramdam, lahat ng sama ng loob ko nitong nakaraan ay walang hirap na natabunan
ng lahat ng nalaman ko mula sa kanya ngayon.

"W-Wala rin naman akong iba... walang naging iba." Humikbi ako at mas lalong binaon
ang aking sarili sa kanyang dibdib. "I'm sorry for everything. For making you mad,
for hurting you..."

He was stunned for seconds but his embrace slowly tightened around me, my sobs were
ringing the small hallway. He chuckled painfully as he caressed my back gently.

"And for making me damn jealous..."

I sobbed and looked up at him. "I thought you don't get jealous."

He tsked.

"I thought, too." He held my hand and pulled me into the door, he just put his
finger print on the door handle and it clicked open. "Marami pa tayong pag-
uusapan."

I nodded as we entered his unit, binitiwan niya rin ang kamay ko at naabala ako sa
pagpasada ng tingin sa loob.

The thick silver curtains on the living area were automatically sliding to the
sides, revealing the bright city lights around. The sofas were facing that side,
may malaking flat-screen din doon. Kagaya ng kanyang usual place, walang dibisyon
ang bawat area kaya mas spacious tingnan. Sa kanan ang kanyang kitchen at dining
area, sa kaliwa ay may dalawang silid lamang na nakalinya. The place looks so nice
and mesmerizing, with the view and details.

Huminga ako ng malalim at binalik ang tingin kay Chancent, he was removing his coat
now—leaving his vest and undershirt.

"Is this yours?"

His lips puckered. "I just moved in yesterday."

"E, paano iyong unit mong isa?"

"It will be for sale."

"Kung ganoon, posibleng rito na rin tutuloy ang kapatid mo kapag nalasing sila?"

He chuckled. "No, Sileas. Tumutuloy lang naman sila roon dahil malapit sa bar na
pinanggagalingan nila."

I shrugged doubtfully.

"Sa four years, Chance. Wala akong alam pero sigurado naman akong nagkikita pa rin
kayo ni Patch dahil mukhang close sila ng kapatid mo. Hindi malabo na gusto ka pa
rin niya hanggang ngayon."

His eyes stayed on me, sandaling pumikit siya at nagbuntong-hininga bago humakbang
para lapitan ako. He held me on my waist, slowly wrapping around me—he entwined his
hands on my lower back.

"Wala kang pagseselosan, iyon lang ang masasabi ko."

I pouted. "Sabagay. Ako pa rin naman, sabi mo."

He laughed and nodded.

"E, ako. Ako pa rin ba?" mahina niyang tanong.

Walang dalawang pag-iisip akong tumango, ayon sa totoong nararamdaman ko. Wala na
akong dapat itago ngayon na malinaw ang lahat, I already gave him all the doubts
but my heartbeat still belongs to him and when he cleared everything... there's
nothing to worry anymore, we've already spent the years without each other to learn
and grow independently because of the unholy mess that I wanted to fix alone and
move forward with just myself.

Sapat na ang mga taong iyon, ngayon na malinaw namang walang nagbago sa tibok ng
puso ko para sa kanya ay hindi na ako liliko pa.

"Ikaw pa rin, Chancent." Ngumuso ako, naninikip ang ilong sa emosyon. "Iyong una,
ayaw ko lang aminin dahil akala ko masaya ka na sa iba. I tried to reach out and
earn even just a friendship with you—"

"Friendship!" he gasped.

I smiled. "Kaysa naman wala, I just want us to be friends if ever pero nasaktan pa
rin naman ako. Iyon nga lang wala naman akong pinanghahawakan dahil pinakawalan
talaga kita at malinaw natin iyong pinag-usapan bago tayo naghiwalay. Siyempre,
gusto ko rin na maging masaya ka. I thought I had moved on for years because I was
contented without anyone else but when I saw you at the airport?" I shook my head.
"Nasaktan ako, e. Pero ayos lang naman, naintindihan ko iyon."

Nanatili siyang tahimik habang nakikinig at nakatitig.

"Kaso, hindi kita naintindihan kung bakit ka galit noong pangalawang pagkikita
natin. Inisip ko pa na baka magagalit kasi ang girlfriend mo kung papansinin mo ako
kasi sa ating dalawa, alam kong ikaw iyong matured. Hindi ko kailanman naisip na
magagalit ka sa akin!"

"Tss."

"Oo nga!" giit ko.

"That was nonsense, then. I was mad because you were with another man!"

"Wala naman akong kasama noon sa ospital, e!"

Umismid siya. "I saw you at the airport with that Vizcarra."

Namilog ang mga mata ko, hindi ako makapaniwala.

"Really? Nakita mo rin kami?"

He nodded lazily.

"Oh my, God! I don't really believe in destiny but isn't it like that?" I gasped in
disbelief. "Ang galing!"

Natawa siya. "I don't know. I'm not a fan of that. I just know that I'm so into you
and I'm ready for competition."

"Competition?" I laughed.

"Mm, you have so many suitors in line. I'm one of them now," he whispered slowly as
he nuzzled on my hair.

"You're gonna court me?"

He nodded while kissing my hair down to my ear. "Kahit gaano katagal ulit..."

My heart melted, bahagya akong nakiliti sa kanyang hininga kaya humagikgik ako.

"Chancent, we've spent the long years without each other and now that everything's
clear and clean. Wala kang sabit, wala akong sabit, bakit pa ako magpapaligaw?
You've already courted me way back and we got it for real, we're still in love even
after years... why don't we just continue the relationship we both love and want
until now?"

His lips parted, eyes tantalized like stars. It feels so warm and lovely, my chest
was constricting as if my heart was fluttering openly.

I inhaled, I lifted my toes to reach his lips and kissed him. It was a quick kiss
but my world stopped rounding, I was smiling at him sweetly.

"There you go, I'm yours... again."

Kumurap siya, parte pa rin ang mga labi habang nakatitig sa akin ang malamlam na
mga mata. His jaw clenched tightly before he crouched down to kiss me, hinawakan
niya ang batok ko at naramdaman ko agad ang kanyang malalim na halik. Hindi ako
nakapaghanda roon kaya hingal kong iniwan ang mga labi pagkalipas ng ilang segundo,
his kisses went down to my jaw and neck like a hungry man.

"If that's the case, can I ask you a question?" he said laguidly while kissing my
neck.

My lips trembled because I know what it would be.

"Yes, I'll marry you..."

Unti-unti siyang nahinto sa paghalik sa akin, umangat siya upang tingnan ako sa
naninimbang na mga mata at hindi makapaniwala. Salubong ang mga kilay at madilim
ang mga mata.

"If that's the question." I chuckled shyly. "Yes, I'll marry you anywhere."

His lips lined as his eyes shut, ilang saglit lang ay nagmulat siya ng nangingislap
na mga mata at tiningnan ang kanyang wristwatch.

"Your father's probably asleep by now."

I bit my lips and chuckled. "Pero sure ako, gising pa si Arki."

Kumunot ang noo niya. "Are you kidding?"

"No, Chance. I just want you to know that I'm ready to marry you anytime and
anywhere—"

He pulled me and kissed me torridly.

"Putangina," anas niya bago ako inangat na walang hirap.

I wrapped my legs around his waist and held on his jaw while kissing him back,
binaba ko ang mga kamay sa kanyang polo para tanggalin iyon isa-isa habang abala
ang mga labi sa halikan. He walked slowly into his room, carrying me like a small
kid.

"You already said yes, Sileas. You're gonna marry me."

I nodded, lumipat ang halik niya sa aking leeg at nilapag ako sa malambot na kama.
His hand started caressing my thigh up to my butt, pumasok ang kamay niya mula dulo
ng aking dress. I was anticipating to feel his touch again, I grinded my hips
sensually as I started taking off his vest and undershirt.

Umangat siya para tanggalin iyon ng tuluyan sa kanyang katawan at tiningnan ako, I
looked at his well-built body and I couldn't concentrate now. Hinila ko ulit siya
para halikan dahil masyado na akong dala at uhaw sa lahat.

We started kissing again, I unbuttoned his slacks and slid in my hand to touch him.
He groaned roughly, it makes want more. Kahit hingal ay pinagpatuloy ko ang
paghalik sa kanya para abalahin siya dahil alam kong hindi niya ako hahayaang
hawakan siya kapag walang halikan.

"Sileas, fuck," he hissed as I started caressing him down. He's still the same huge
member of Chancent, huh.

I gasped. "Chance, let's do this, please..."

Nagmura siya at madiin akong hinalikan sa labi bago tinanggal ang kamay ko sa
kanya. Bumusangot ako. Gumapang siya patungo sa kabilang gilid para sa side table,
sinundan ko ng tingin iyon at hindi makapaniwala sa pulang box na kinuha roon.

Nanlalaki ang mga mata ko at napaupo habang nakatingin sa kanya, bawat segundo ay
siyang pagwawala ng puso ko. Binuksan niya iyon at kinuha ang laman na singsing
noon.

"Chancent!" gulantang pa rin ako.

This is freaking me out, how come he has a ring like this here!?

"We won't make love without a ring on your finger, Sileas." He took my hand.

Iniwas ko ang kamay. "P-Pero kanino ito!? Bakit mayroon ka nito?"

He took my hand again and put the ring on my ring finger, I was awed and stunned
that it fits my finger. It was a ring of diamonds.

"It's with me all the time, that's only for you," he said.

I blinked while looking at the ring he gave me, he kissed my head, forehead and
cheeks. Naiiyak kong inangat ang mga mata sa kanya, sa sobrang gulantang ko sa
impormasyong iyon ay para akong nakahiga sa ulap at sobrang babaw ng emosyon.

"Are you even real, Chance?"

"I am, baby. That's really for you, I bought that ring before the day we broke up.
You remember the choices and option?" he said gently.

I nodded as my tears rolled down, my soft heart was melting so bad.

"K-Kailan tayo magpapakasal?" tanong ko.

"We're gonna process it together. But we need your parents' approval and blessing
first of all, I'll set everything," he said and wiped my tears using his thumb.

"Hindi pa kami nakakapag-usap ni Mommy."

"Hmm, okay. You need more time?"

"Hindi! Makakausap ko rin naman siya roon. We'll just talk to them for blessing,
Chance. We don't need their approval, it's me who you'll marry, not them."

His lips curled like a proud man, he nodded.

"Uh-huh."

I smiled, I kneeled to reach him and started kissing him again. He held my waist
and kissed back with the same passion and affection, tinaas niya ang dress ko
hanggang sa baywang at marahang hinila pababa ang panty ko.

"You're not wearing any shorts in this kind of freaking dress?" irritation was in
his voice.

Hindi ko iyon pinansin at inangat ang aking binti para tulungan siya sa pag-alis
noon, he pushed me down to lay and he took it off completely. Umibabaw siya sa akin
upang halikan ako sa leeg pababa sa dibdib, I was panting heavily as his hand
palmed my wetness, I didn't even notice that I was this wet and needy now. My hips
grinded automatically when his fingers were slowly circling on my flesh, giving me
tickles.

I moaned, he kissed my collarbone and his other hand pulled down my dress to reveal
my breasts with only silicons on to conceal my nipples. Chance groaned impatiently.

"What the fuck, Sileas? Pati bra, wala?"

"Chance, stop ruining the moment! Ayaw ko nang may bumabakat sa dress ko kaya hindi
ako nagbra!"

"How about shorts? You're only wearing a T-back! Your dress was too short, baka
nasilipan ka na ng mga kasama mo roon!"

"Madilim naman sa bar!"

"Even so! I don't care how short your dress will wear but please wear undergarments
next time!"

I nodded and pulled him on the nape to start kissing him and calm his irritation.

"Don't be mad now, I'll surely do that next time," I said sweetly. Binaba ko ang
halik sa kanyang panga at leeg.

He sighed and glared at me before pulling my dress off me, he also removed my
nipple silicons and threw it somewhere. My cheeks heated as my body, my eyes
automatically closed when he started caressing my right boob. Ang isang kamay niya
ay giniya naman sa binti ko para iangat at pinosisyon niya ang sarili sa aking
pagitan, he shifted his hand on my center again to play it sensually.

"Ah," halos sumabay ang aking balakang sa bawat haplos niya dahil sa kiliting hatid
noon lalo pa nang dahan-dahan niyang ipasok ang isang daliri sa akin. "Oh,
Chance..."

Shit. This is so fucking good.

He was playing in for minutes while I was moaning and gasping for air, hindi ko na
maimulat ang mga mata at para akong nasa himpapawid. My walls eventually tightened
around his finger, seconds passed and I convulsed with long moans.

"Damn..." I was gasping.

Hindi pa ako nakakausad mula roon ay naramdaman ko ang pagmamadali niya, he quickly
clung my other leg on his arm as I felt him positioning in between me. My walls
were still throbbing from the first convulsion when he slowly brushed his tip that
seems so alive and hard, I moaned softly as he tried to enter.

"Ah, Chancent!" I flinched.

"Baby... tell me if you want to stop."

"No, please. I'm gonna be fine."

He crouched down to give wet kisses on my neck, he's slowly inching in now. I feel
like it was ripping. I spread my legs more to adjust but I ended up flinching in
pain, can't help it—he's thick and hard. I moaned loudly when thrusted in and out
thrice with a fast pace, my nails dugged onto his arm.

"Go on, Chance... I'm fine," hingal kong sambit.

His breathing was heavy, he started kissing my lips wildly as he thrusted slowly
until it gets faster. I was just moaning the whole time, masakit iyon noong una
pero habang tumatagal ay unti-unti kong nararamdaman ang kalangitang dulot noon, I
lost count how many times I felt my climax but Chancent was persistent to reach
his. His thrusts became harder, deeper and faster that made me delirious.

"Ah, Chance!" I moaned loudly, biting his shoulder. My breasts were bouncing with
his fast movements.

Umangat siya upang lumuhod na lamang habang abala pa rin sa kanyang gawain sa akin,
he was so red and I never imagined him this aroused and turned on in front of me
while making love. My heart drubbed, I love to witness how pleased he is right now.

"Fuck," he groaned and moaned for the first time as I felt him thrust deeper and
harder while spilling inside me. "Sileas..."

My body trembled with another climax, I was panting real bad. Nagmulat siya ng mga
mata at direkta iyon sa akin, hingal din mula sa pangyayari. His chest was heaving.
He licked his lips before crouching to kiss my neck upto my lips, humiga siya sa
aking dibdib.

I chuckled with my heavy breathing.

"That feels so good..." I whispered.

He chuckled roughly. "I'm not yet tired."

Napairap ako. "That's enough, it was good but still painful. Hindi ko kaya sa isang
gabi lang."

Humalakhak siya at binaon ang mukha sa aking dibdib.

I love this man so much. I still can't believe we're here together. It just feels
like a dream of yesterday and now I'm in my real home. I'm so ready to face what's
tomorrow with him.
#UM38
Kindly share your thoughts and comments!

#UM38

I woke up with a smile on my lips, I opened my heavy eyes and Chance's face
welcomed my sight. I'd announce now that this is one of the bests view I've ever
witnessed in the morning when I woke up, I blinked my eyes while staring at his
sleeping face. His luscious lips were apart, eyes looked so angelic even closed,
narrow nose like a bridge towards his pair of thick eyebrows and his naturally
curled lashes in one beautiful frame seems like a paradise.

I inhaled quietly. This is a dream, a dream in my very own reality. Ang daming
nangyari sa isang  gabi lamang at hindi ako makapaniwala na sa ganitong paraan kami
magtatagpo muli sa umaga, isa ito sa mga umagang gugustuhin kong ulitin hanggang sa
hindi na matapos pa. I wanna wake up in the morning with him beside me and his face
to welcome my vision.

Heto rin iyong oras na dapat ay marami na akong naiisip tungkol sa nangyari kagabi
pero nakakatakang walang kahit ano sa puso't isip ko, walang pagsisisi at
hesitasyon. Walang kahit ano maliban sa kasiyahan at kapayapaan. This is how a real
home feels like with no regrets, doubts and walls but pure completeness and
contentment.

Kaya siguro sobrang bilis ng mga pangyayari dahil ayaw ko nang pakawalan ang
tysansang muling binigay sa akin, sa amin.

While staring at him for minutes without getting tired, his sleepy eyes slowly
opened a bit and met mine directly that made my heart flutter. He blinked lazily
and a smile crept on his red lips as he moved closer, he buried his face on my
chest like a little kid and his arms wrapped around me. He inhaled my scent and
gasped peacefully.

"Morning, baby..."

I only smiled and gently caressed his hair.

He took a deep breath with evident joy. "Baby's back, my baby's back."

I laughed, he giggled and crooned on my chest more.

"Last night wasn't a dream and thank God for that."

I pouted and nuzzled his hair, he smells so nice and I miss smelling him.

"I love you, Chancent Arlow."

"Mm-hm..."

"I'll never let you go again."

He chuckled roughly. "Uh-huh."

"I hope you forgive me for leaving you to find myself alone without any assurance
to come back and yet you still waited... I don't know how to thank you for waiting
because if ever you did not? I don't know what to do. Maybe, I'll go back to Canada
again."

"So that was your plan after the season?"

"Oo, Chance. Doon na talaga ako mananatili hanggang sa makalimutan ka. Iyong four
years? Akala ko ayos na akong wala ka, e. Ayos naman ako pero alam mo 'yun? Mayroon
sa akin na ayaw magpatuloy at tumanggap ng bago sa buhay ko. Doon ako nagdecide na
bumalik dito para malaman kung ayos ka na ba at may iba, siguro... doon na rin ako
makakapagpatuloy kapag nakita kitang maayos na."

His embrace tightened on my waist. "Thank you for coming back, then. Hindi ko rin
naman alam kung saan ako pupulutin kung hindi ka bumalik."

"Bakit, Chance? Bakit naghintay ka sa akin kahit walang assurance?" tahimik kong
tanong.

"That has only one answer, I love you so much that I didn't get to move on with
someone new."

"You tried?"

No hard feelings, I'll be happy to know if he did. Doon ko rin malalaman kung gaano
katibay ang pagmamahal niya kung sakali man na sumubok nga siyang magkaroon ng iba.

"Of course, Sileas. I wanted to forget you. Hindi ko mabilang kung ilang beses kong
sinubukan iyon para makalimutan ka. I tried to date anywhere I go just to prove
something but I ended up coming back here, where you broke and left me. I got tired
of trying, wala namang nangyayari at walang makapalit sayo. I hated you for that,
you're a witch!"

My heart fluttered. "Seriously... that was too unbelievable."

"Here I am, baby. Is it still unbelievable?"

I pouted, I kissed his temple sweetly. I couldn't talk more, I was just so awed.

"How 'bout you?"

"Hindi ko alam... I first worked on myself, I focused to learn independently and I

had no time to think about dating anyone. Doon ako sa main reason nagugol ng mga
taon, I finished studying and work for a living." I smiled while tousling his hair
on my fingers. "That's it, I spent the years like that and found myself. I learned
a lot and yet I didn't realize how stuck I am to you after those years."

"Yeah, you were too focused on your main reason and that's my luck. Damn, baby..."
He laid to stare at the ceiling as if in a deep thought. "Paano kung hindi ganoon
ang nangyari? Siguradong, hindi ka na babalik dito."

I shrugged and laughed. "Iyan ang hindi natin alam, Chance."

Hindi ko talaga alam kung anong mangyayari, basta ang alam ko ay hindi ako
nagkaroon ng oras na mamalayang siya pa rin sa mga taong lumipas. I was too focused
on myself that I didn't get to notice what's around me, I did not have time to love
another but myself first. Si Chance? Siya ang unang minahal ko kaysa sa sarili noon
kaya siguro nakatatak lang siya sa akin kahit anong mangyari.

His bottom lip jutted like a sad baby, nilingon niya ako gamit ang malamlam na mga
mata. Nagkatitigan lang kami ng ilang saglit, sa pag-iinit ng pisngi ko dahil sa
consciousness ay ngumuso ako at iniwas ang tingin. I'm not really insecure about
how I look in the morning but his eyes make me blush without a warning.

"I don't know what to do if that happens. I want you to stay in love with me..."

"I stayed, Chance. See, I came back to know what have you been doing first before I
step forward to my own reality!" I said happily.

"Thank you. Thank you..." he whispered softly.

I turned to him, chuckling. "Thank you for what?"

"I just wanna thank you, for everything. And I'm really proud of you, I'm always
proud." He gasped. "Hindi lang ako proud na maraming umaaligid sayo."

Humalakhak ako, the truth is, I'm so flattered by what he said. Ang sarap marinig,
para bang lahat ng nagawa ko sa buhay na ito ay kinahuhumalingan niya at doon ako
uhaw mula sa pamilya ko na parati namang pinaparamdam ni Chance sa akin noon pa man
kaya naiibsan.

Ngumisi siya at dumapa para atakihin ako ng halik,
my arms around his neck. I got too occupied by his
anywhere, we were both naked since last night that
everything now and I don't know why I am so flimsy
first touch.
I answered his kisses and clung
kisses and sensual touches
made us easy access to
that I was already wet at the
His hand went down to my belly until my center, I parted my thighs for his touch. I
moaned when he started playing in circles but flinched in pain as he inserted a
finger, it feels like I have a wound there. It seems like I got too stretched last
night. Chance's buddy wasn't really a joke to accept in, knowing that I was a
virgin—the first time was very painful and beautiful at the same time.

The room was filled with my moans of his name and heavy breathing, his thumb gently
caressed my senstive bud while thrusting his finger in and out of me slowly and
carefully. Even with my closed eyes, I searched for his manhood and found it beside
my right thigh. I shuddered when he groaned at the first stroke of my hand, I
couldn't help but open my eyes to see him. I really love to see his face with
parted red lips while breathing heavily, he looked so please.

Umangat ako para halikan ang nakaparteng labi niya bago siya inibabawan, I sat on
his thigh just below his shaft while stroking it. Nahihiya akong tingnan iyon kaya
sa mukha niya ako nanuod, he was closed eyes and flushed. I tightened my grip and
stroke him faster. He gasped and bit his bottom lip tightly, hindi ko mapigilang
mamangha roon kaya pinagbutihan ko pa. It wouldn't be bad to blowjob him again just
to pleasure him, kaya naman bumaba ako para gawin iyon.

Unang lapat pa lang ng labi ko ay agad napamulat at marahas na nagmura si Chance at

mabilis akong hinila pabalik sa kanyang ibabaw, gulat ako roon at nagprotesta.

"Chance!"

"No, Sileas!" he kissed my lips harshly.

Binawi ko ang sarili at tinulak siya sa dibdib pero matigas siya.

"Just lay down!" I demanded irately.

He held on my nape harshly to kiss him again, he sat up and held my hip to lift me
up a bit and with just one push down—I found myself flinch as his member entered me
without a warning. He wrapped his arm around my waist while the other hand was in
between us, caressing my bud to make me feel comfortable with pleasure.

Humigpit ang kapit niya sa baywang ko habang abala ang labi sa paghalik, bumaba
iyon sa aking leeg hanggang sa aking dibdib. He started sucking my nipples, I was
gasping for air and I don't know where to focus my left consciousness.

"If you really wanna pleasure me, ride, baby..." he hissed lowly.

I opened my heavy eyes and he's already looking staring at my face, I tried to
close my parted lips and started riding him. Hindi ko magawa ng maayos iyon dahil
masakit pala ang posisyong ito lalo na at baguhan ako, pumarte ulit ang labi ko at
ngumiwi nang maibaba ko ang sarili ng sagad.

He gasped harshly before pinning me down, he pulled out and crawled down—kissing my
breast down to my abdomen until my folds. Napahugot ako ng malalim na hininga nang
mag-umpisang laruin ng mga labi niya iyon, his tongue circled on my soaking part,
giving me all the pleasure. I closed my eyes tight, I held on his hair while he was
busy eating me.

"Chance, I'm so close!" I moaned.

He gave another harsh lick before going up and entered me again, walang pasubali ay
mabilis siyang gumalaw sa aking ibabaw dahilan ng aking malalakas na daing at
kalmot sa kanyang likuran. Hindi ako makapaniwala na magiging ganito siya sa
pangalawa! My walls were throbbing and tightening around his huge shaft, more
harder, deeper and faster thrusts in one moment—the heavens reached my soul, I
shuddered in convulsion.

While trembling by my climax, he did not stop thrusting hardly and wildly—I opened
my eyes even when I was so tired and breathless, I saw a beast Chancent on top of
me and I felt him stiffening as he spilled hotly inside me. He slowly move his hips
again to thrust deeper for the last straw of his zenith that made me moan softly,
my heart was bursting with me.

"Ah, fuck," he groaned before opening his eyes to look at me. He licked his lips
and crouched down, he kissed my neck and lips ludicrously. "I love you..."

We're both breathless and tired. Para akong nawalan ng lakas, biglang nanghihina
ang aking katawan sa lahat.

I gasped and bit my lips. "You're so freaking wild!"

He chuckled gruffly. "Did it hurt?"

"Medyo..." ang totoo ay masakit sa huli na, kagaya ng unang karanasan ko kagabi ay
masakit pa iyon ngayon at lalo lang sumakit dahil nasundan pa pero ayos lang.
Tolerable naman kahit papaano at maghihilom din.

He caressed my waist and pulled out, lumipat siya sa aking gilid at nagdampi ng
maliliit na halik sa pisngi ko.

"Sorry, baby."

"It's okay, uh... masarap naman."

He laughed sexily, he pulled up the thick comforter to cover us, he hugged me.
Napakurap-kurap ako sa biglaang naisip, nilingon ko siya. Nakatitig naman siya sa
akin at nagtaas ng kilay sa paglingon ko.

"Chance..."

"Hmm?"

"I just noticed that you were not withdrawing, should I consult an OB?"

Ngumuso siya. "You don't really need to."

"Birth control, Chance! Or magc-condom ka na lang next time?"

"I won't do that."

"Mabubuntis ako!"

Hindi ko alam kung pabor ba iyon sa kanya o hindi, e. Mahirap na, ayaw ko namang
magkaanak kami tapos wala pa pala iyon sa isip naming dalawa. Ang gusto ko kasi ay
magpakasal sa kanya at mamuhay kahit ilang taon lang na kaming dalawa muna.

He chuckled. "Iyon nga ang plano ko, baby."

Namilog ang mga mata ko.

"Talaga? Gusto mo nang magkaanak?"

His eyes softened and twinkled.

"Well... I still want us to decide fairly." His head turned to me. "If you don't
want it yet, then, we'll visit an OB tomorrow."

Huminga ako ng malalim, halata nga sa kanyang mga mata ang kagustuhan doon. Hindi
ako nagsalita, kung gusto na ni Chance, ayos lang naman. Pero hindi ba maaga pa
para sa akin? I'm just turning twenty-four... but Chance is already twenty-eight.
Maybe, we can have a baby, then. 

That was the longest morning I've ever had, we fell asleep again and I woke up
without him and found him cooking for lunch. Nakabihis na ako pagkatayo ng kama,
sabay kaming kumaing dalawa at maraming napag-usapan tungkol sa planong pagbisita
sa mga magulang ko at pagpapaalam tungkol sa aming plano. I actually planned
everything in mind since I have no grudges anymore as long as I'm with Chancent, I
have nothing to fear and hold back.

Medyo nahihiya lang ako na mabilis ang lahat ng nangyari at siguradong magugulat si
Papa sa ibabalita namin.

So we planned it together that day, sa araw na iyon ay nanitili kami sa kanyang

unit. We spent our time alone together, laughing, watching, talking, cuddling and
our future plans. I really loved that day, parang kahit naroon lang kami at walang
ibang kasamang iba ay kumpletong-kumpleto ang buhay.

I feel so complete because I know right now that I can stand with him, I can live
my life with him without the people's opinions.

"Biglaan ka na lang nawala kagabi!" salubong ni Capriana sa akin nang tawagan ako
para kumustahin, hapon na iyon at mukhang kagigising niya lang.

I glanced at Chance who was busy watching on the flat-screen, marahan niyang
hinahaplos ang tiyan ko habang nakayakap sa akin. He's topless with just boxer
shorts on while I'm wearing his white shirt and panty that he washed earlier, tuyo
na nga ang damit ko pagkagising ko at may mga bago ring nakahanda na pinabili niya
pa yata kanina habang tulog ako.

"Ayos lang naman ako, sorry kasi umalis ako nang walang paalam."

I texted her earlier using Chance's cell phone and told her that I'm fine so she
wouldn't worry about me.

"It's alright! Matanda ka na, kinumusta lang kita! Sabi kasi ni Austin, hinila ka
raw ni Heidden Estrevillo, totoo ba iyon?"

Namilog ang mga mata ko at halos sumigaw. "It wasn't Heidden, Capri!"

Nilingon agad ako ni Chancent, kunot ang noo. Uminit ang pisngi ko, nahihiya dahil
nabanggit ko ang pangalan ng pinsan niya na ginawan ko rin ng katangahan noon para
gantihan siya. I was so immature, then!

Tumawa si Capriana sa linya.

"Chillax, Pal! Ako nga easy lang, e! Si Chancent iyon, 'no? Well, Austin was a bit
drunk when he informed that. Heidden's already short haired now, kaya siguro
napagkamalan lang. Madilim pa."

I gasped in disbelief. "Yes, it was Chancent."

"Really?" she giggled. "I told yah! He'd be jealous as fuck! Kung ganoon, magkasama
kayo ngayon?"

"O-Oo."

"Hmm," she hummed maliciously. "Diyan ka natulog?"

My cheeks heated badly, I just hummed to confirm it. She giggled.

"That's nice, kailan ang kasal?" pabiro niyang sinabi.

Chancent's lips reached my ear to whisper. "This week."

Naparolyo ang mga mata ko. "Uhm... next month."

"What!?" Capriana shouted shockingly. "Are you kidding me? Oh my gold! What's
happening? That was just one night! One night!"

I inhaled. "Huwag mo munang babanggitin sa iba—"

"Seriously?" that was Bhaltie's raspy voice on the background. "That's a big news!"

"Oh my gold! Don't worry, I'm gonna zip Bhaltair's mouth for now! Alright! We're
gonna wait for your announcement, okay? Keep us posted!" Capriana said happily.
"I'm really really happy for you, and please, invite Patch Clavel Carlos as bride's
maid!" She laughed evilly.

Natawa ako at napailing. Natapos ang usapan namin doon at nangako naman siyang
walang makakaalam, Chancent and I settled the day together. Napag-usapan namin na
maghapunan sa bahay para makahanap na rin ng tiyempo at mapaalam muna namin na
nagkabalikan kami.

I was fixing my dress, tinitingnan ko ang sarili sa salamin ng kanyang sasakyan sa

loob habang nagmamaneho siya ng tahimik. I wore the black turtle neck one sided
long sleeve that he bought me, napansin ko kasi kanina sa banyo na marami siyang
naiwang marka sa katawan ko. Kahit nga sa hips ay mayroon, iyong mahigpit niyang
hawak na namula. My skin is really delicate and sensitive but he didn't hurt me
violently.

"Do we need to buy some concealer for the marks?" he asked in a worried tone.

"Mayroon ako sa pouch kaso naiwanan ko nga kay Capriana."

He sighed. "I'll just buy a set of make up, then. You wanna put some lipstick on,
too, right?"

I pouted and nodded. "Yes, please. Baka kasi makita ni Papa, observant pa naman
iyon!"

Iyon ang napagdesisyon namin, siya lang ang bumaba sa mall at iniwanan ako sa
sasakyan at hindi iyon pinatay gaya rin ng kagustuhan ko dahil masakit ang mga
binti ko kung maglalakad pa. He kissed my lips before going out, my eyes followed
him as he walked away. He's wearing a gray button down shirt tucked in black slacks
with black leather belt, his faded sides haircut was spiked up on the top that
still look so formal.

Ngumuso ako nang tuluyan siyang mawala sa paningin, inabala ko ang sarili sa
kanyang cell phone na iniwan. He saved my finger print in his cell phone for my
easy access, nagpunta ako sa kanyang photos at nakita roon ang ilang litrato namin
kanina pati ang mga kuha niya habang natutulog ako!
He even put the one I was parted lips as his home screen, hindi na ako nahihiya
roon dahil hilig niya talaga noon pa man na gawin akong wallpaper kahit pangit ang
pagtulog. Habang nags-scroll pa ay nakita ko ang ilang litrato ng Mama, Papa at
kapatid niya, mayroon din si Rowe at ilang bata pa hanggang sa makita ko na ang mga
dati ko pang pictures noong kami pa. Bago naman model ang cell phone niya,
nakakatakang hindi niya pala ito dinidelete.

It made me smile heartily. I decided to take some selfies there, wala talaga akong
magawa at kahit anong kati ng kamay kong basahin ang inbox ay ayaw ko namang gawin.
Habang nagvivideo ng sarili kong nagsasabi ng "I love you's" sa kanya ay tumunog
iyon at nagpop-up sa itaas ang unknown number.

Hi, Chance. Can we talk?

Huminga ako ng malalim at hindi iyon pinansin, that wasn't mine to read and I trust
him that I didn't mind it at all. Ilang minuto lang ay nakabalik si Chance hawak
ang paperbag ng Mac, pumasok siya sa driver's seat at binigay iyon sa akin.

"Matagal ba? Sorry, nagtanong pa ako kung anong maganda at hindi nakakairritate ng
balat," he said as he started maneuvering to drive away. "I forgot to ask your make
up brand. I just decided for Mac since Nyxinea's using it."

I giggled while looking at the make ups inside the paperbag.

"Tama lang ito, Mac din ang binibili ko!"

He smiled and glanced. "I bought concealers and lipsticks, they're all waterproof
and smudge proof."

"Thank you, baby! Ang galing mo!" I said cheerfully.

Humalakhak siya, I lifted myself up on my seat to kiss his cheek.

"I'm gonna try them!"

He nodded. Naupo ulit ako at inumpisahang maglagay ng concealer sa ilang parteng

namumula na medyo exposed, hindi naman karamihan iyon dahil natatakpan ang iba sa
leeg ko at kaliwang balikat. I also tried the lipsticks, nagtanong pa ako kung
anong gusto niya roon at napili niya iyong nude kaya iyon ang nilagay ko.

"Anyways, someone texted you!" pag-iiba ko.

"Uh-huh, about what and who?"

I shrugged and put his cell phone on his thigh. "I don't know, unknown number at
sabi lang ay kung pwede ba kayong mag-usap."

He bit his bottom lip and nodded. "Can you reply and ask who is it?"

Kinuha ko ulit ang cell phone niya para sagutin sana iyon pero saktong tumunog na
iyon, muntikan ko pang mabitawan sa gulat.

"May tumatawag, Chance."

"Answer it."

I inhaled and nodded before answering the call.

"Chancent..."

I blinked at the familiarization, it was Patch' voice that I could never forget and
to be honest, I couldn't feel the any trouble within me unlike the first time I saw
her in Chancent's unit. Hindi ako sumagot at nagsalita rin naman siya agad para
sundan ang sasabihin.

"I know that you're listening, please, can we talk?"

Nilingon ko si Chance, huminga ako ng malalim at marahang binigay ang cell phone sa
kanya. Kumunot ang noo niya.

"Who is it, baby?"

I gasped, pinandilatan ko siya ng mga mata at takang-taka naman siya sa asal ko.
Nakita ko na lang na binaba na ni Patch ang tawag doon, I sighed heavily and put
his cell phone down.

"Si Patch iyon, gusto ka yatang makausap."

His lips puckered and nodded normally as if it wasn't big deal.

"I have no time today."

I pouted. "Hindi ba kayo nakakapag-usap sa inyo? Parati naman yata siyang nasa
inyo, e."

It wasn't really a big deal for me now, hindi ko alam kung bakit parang wala na
akong tinik sa dibdib kahit ano pang mangyari dahil kuntento ako sa pinaparamdam ni
Chance sa akin. I know that he's mine and will never be anyone's, he made me feel
confident in any way by just his passion and devotion.

Isa pa, magpapakasal na nga kami.

"Wala naman kaming dapat pag-usapan. Pagtapos kong malaman ang ginawa niya sayo
noon, wala akong panahon para intindihin siya at kung magpapaliwanag siya, hindi
dapat sa akin."

"You knew?" I can't remember telling him what she did!

He sighed softly. "I have my ways... she was calling me to talk and to explain that
when I'm not the one who needs it. If she really wants to explain and reconnect,
she should find a way to you." He shook his head in dismay. "I don't trust your
cousin, anymore."

Suminghap ako, hindi makapaniwala. Hindi ko alam kung maaawa ako kay Patch o
hahayaan na lang siya, masyadong comical ito. Bakit siya kay Chance magpapaliwanag?
Not that I want it, too. Pero parang mas nag-alala pa siya sa galit ni Chance kaysa
sa akin.

I chuckled. "Whatever! You are mine, Chancent! Kung makikipag-usap ka sa kanya,

wala sa akin iyon. Huwag mo lang hahayaang halikan ka, ibang usapan na iyon."

He gasped in amusement.

"Roger that, baby!" he held my hand and kissed it.

I nodded while smiling. "Good!"

#UM39
#UM39

So we got to what we planned for that day, kabado na ako nang huminto ang sasakyan
sa tapat ng aming bahay at nang bumaba ay mas tumindi ang pag-iinit ng pisngi ko.
Iba-iba naman ang kaba, e. May kaba para sa takot at may kaba dahil sa excitement,
ngayon, hindi ito takot—kaba ito dahil sa excitement. I'm excited to see Papa's
reaction since at the very beginning, he was rooting for Chancent and even though
he wasn't mentioning about it when I came back, I know that he's still in that
ground.

Ano ba kasing ginawa nito ni Chance at parang lahat ay boto at gusto siya? Una si
Mommy at Daddy, tapos si Papa... para sa akin isa iyon sa mga importanteng makuha
ng bawat magkarelasyon. The family's blessing and trust. Though, hindi ko pa nami-
meet ang parents ni Chance sa personal. Nakausap ko lang ang Mommy niya noon pero
hindi rin pormal. I'm kinda worried about the meeting with his parents, sa akin
naman kasi ay walang problema.

Chancent already earned my family's trust even before I trust him.

"Welcome back," that was Papa's welcoming as we went in and greeted him. He's in
the living area, swaying Palmira like a Superhero.

He wasn't surprised at all! He was casual!

"Good afternoon, Tito," Chance said.

Nagtaas ng kilay si Papa at sumulyap sa magkahawak naming kamay. "So... did you
propose?"

Uminit ang pisngi ko, naisip kung sa anong sitwasyon sinuot ni Chance ang singsing
sa akin.

"Y-Yes, Papa! I mean, of course!" I intervened.

Papa smiled and nodded, kinuha ng nanny si Palmira mula sa kanya habang narinig ko
ang boses ni Mama sa pagbaba ng hagdanan.

"Oh my, you're back together!?"

"I already told you!" Papa said, nang nakalapit si Mama ay pumulupot ang kanyang
kamay sa baywang noon.

I smiled widely and nooded. "Opo, Mama. Uh... kahapon lang."

"Oh, I see! That's something to celebrate! I'm happy that you found a way back to
each other!" she smiled and turned to Chance. "And oh, I'm sorry for rooting her to
my nephew about days ago! Hindi naman ako nawalan ng pag-asa sa inyo pero wala
namang masama kung sumubok, 'di ba?"

Chance chuckled. "That's fine, Tita. I understand."

"Pallavi is just so loveable that I wanted her to try at least, pero siya pa rin
naman ang magdedesisyon para sa kanya at nandito na nga ang desisyon niya!
Congratulations!"

It was a good welcome for Chance, sabay-sabay kaming nananghalian noon at panay ang
usapan tungkol sa nakaraan pati na rin kung anong mga napagdaanan nila Papa at Mama
noon. I was happy to hear about their struggles before having the happy life they
deserve today.
"I never felt bad or disappointed when I heard that he has a child already, ako
naman ang unang nagkagusto sa kanya at hindi nabawasan iyon dahil lang mayroon na
siyang anak," sagot ni Mama nang maitanong ko ang tungkol doon.

Matagal ko na kasing gustong malaman kung anong pakiramdam noon. Anong pakiramdam
na may una siyang anak, sigurado namang lahat tayo ay may mga unang minahal at
nang-iwan. Magkakaiba lang ng sitwasyon at katapusan, we can never always get those
firsts to be our last and boundary. Reality is frightening, unexpected and painful
but there's always a sweetness and happiness that makes us continue tasting the
struggles of it. Life would be boring and dull without circumstances.

Minsan kasi sakit ang nagtuturo, doon tayo natututo at tumitibay habang tinatahak
ang daan patungo sa kagustuhan.

"I mean, there's no reason to hate that fact. Though, it was really questioning why
they didn't end up together. Then, I realized that he wasn't meant for her but for
me." She laughed. "That's just life, it always happens magically."

Papa was just listening, puckering his lips to suppress his smile. I was once
bitter about my life because I had a broken family but I learned to admire Papa's
happiness with his new family... ganoon din kay Mommy. Siguro hindi lang talaga
sila ang tinadhana at pagsubok lang sila sa isa't isa hanggang sa makita ang
totoong para sa kanila at ang kakuntentuhan.

Our lunch ended smoothly but we stayed on the long table for desserts, humupa ang
kuwentuhan kaya roon lang ako nagkaroon ng tyansang mag-anunsyo tungkol sa plano
namin ni Chancent. He let me announce it by myself, para raw may sariling oras ako
sa gugustuhin sabihin. Buo naman ang desisyon ko, I want this done as soon as
possible so we can settle together.

"Anyway, I have an announcement," I said clearly after a minute of silence.

Nasa akin na ang atensyon nila, si Philo na tahimik ay agad napataas ang kilay. I
smiled at him and he cleared his throat with tilted head.

"Hmm, I don't wanna be disappointed but please not some pregnancy announcement
because you're not married yet."

My eyes widened, though, I understand. Mama threw a glare to stop him. He shrugged.

"I'm just voicing out, I hate that kind of announcement before marriage." He turned
to Chance. "I hope you put an engagement ring first before everything, Kuya
Chance."

Chance chuckled beside me. "For sure..."

I can't help but smile.

"I assure you, marriage before building a family." I took a deep breath. "Hindi ko
na yata kailangan i-anunsyo, e. Mukhang iisa lang naman ang inaasahan n'yo!"

Papa clapped his hands while nodding as if he wasn't surprised but just purely
happy with the announcement.

I lifted my hand with ring while smiling at them, especially at Philo. I wiggled my
brows and moved my fingers.

"You see!"
He laughed a bit and nodded in relief, so protective! Tumingin naman ako kay Papa
na nagkibit-balikat at nagmuwestra ng mga kamay ng pagpaparaya.

"So what can I say more?" he inahled and smiled. "As long as my daughter is happy
with her decisions, you're already a woman to decide for your life—I'll keep my
hands off it." He looked at Chance. "I trust you here, Chancent Estrevillo. Tsk, I
just hate the fact that you'd change her last name. Bukod doon, wala naman akong
ibang issue."

Nagtawanan kami.

"I'm now apologizing for that, Tito." Chance chuckled. "But I guess, she was really
meant to have it."

Papa laughed. "So what do we need more? Saan kayo magpapakasal, kailan at anong
maitutulong namin?"

"Nothing, Tito, just wait for the schedule and venue." Chance smiled. "For now, we
will just set a meeting with Placidos."

Ngumuso si Papa. "Nakausap niyo na ba kahit sa tawag? I can call her for meeting."

I felt Chancent's arm wrapping around my waist, he gently squeezed me that I took a
deep breath.

"I'll call her Papa," I insisted.

Papa blinked, his lips pursed and he nodded.

"That would be a good start, then. Nagbago naman na iyon, hindi na mahirap kausapin
simula noong umalis ka."

That's good to hear. "Thank you, Papa. Thank you for the blessing and approval!"

"That's not a question to announce, Pallavi. It's your decision that doesn't need
anyone's approval, you always say that. Never forget." He smiled.

That was the smoothest afternoon of announcement, hindi ko makakalimutan iyon dahil
sobrang gaan ng pakiramdam. I love everything happened, the talk, the laughters and
announcement. It was the vibe I'm praying to have with Miramontes.

Nang maghapon ay nagpasya kaming bumalik ni Chance sa condo niya, masyadong abala
ang bawat oras para sa amin pero hindi naman nakakapagod dahil masayang-masaya ako
sa kinalabasan. Si Chance naman ang abala sa tawag nang makauwi kami, I don't
listen to his calls that much kaya wala akong alam sa mga kausap niya pero baka
tungkol sa trabaho.

I was slowly tapping my index finger on my phone's screen, thinking when to call
Mommy. Kapapasok lang ni Chance sa kuwarto at naabutan ang pagkatulala ko sa
kawalan, nagtaas agad siya ng kilay nang makalapit at maupo sa dulo ng kama.

"What are you thinking?" he asked.

I inhaled deeply, he gently put my legs on his lap. Hinawakan niya ako sa pisngi
bago dinampian ng magaang halik sa labi, pisngi at ilong. He tilted his head while
watching and waiting for me to talk.

"Hindi ko kasi alam ang unang sasabihin 'pag sinagot niya ang tawag."
He chuckled. "Hello?"

I rolled my eyes and pushed his chest slightly.

"Patawa ka!"

"Just speak up, baby. That's your Mom, she's not a stranger. Bakit nag-iisip ka pa
ng sasabihin?"

I sighed.

"We didn't talk for years, Chance. I don't know if she's still mad or what. You
know what happened to Gabanni and her baby—"

"That wasn't your fault."

"I know, but still..."

He sighed heavily and wrapped his arm around my waist to caress it. "You'll do
good, it's been long four years. People forgive."

I smiled a bit, hindi ko alam kung ilang minuto kaming tahimik ni Chance noon
hanggang sa maisipan ko na lang kunin ang cell phone ko. Chance was just watching
my ever move, huminga ako ng malalim at buo ang loob na tinawagan ang numero ni
Mommy.

Tama si Chance, matagal na iyon at kung sakali man na hindi pa nga ako tanggap ay
hindi ako magrereklamo. Ihahanda ko na lang ang sarili sa lahat ng bagay, tutal
iyon naman ang natutunan ko sa haba ng panahong hindi ko siya nakakausap.

Kasi kung hindi ko ito gagawin ngayon, kailan pa malalaman ang sagot? Things get
more complicated when it was left unanswered, that was I just learned when I was
hiding in the dark of questions about Chancent last time. Mas humihirap lang habang
nagtatago na sa una pa lang sana ay nasagot na kung nagtanong.

I was biting my lip, nakatitig lang ako kay Chance habang hinihintay ang sagot ni
Mommy. He was caressing my other hand gently, calming down my nerves.

"Pallavi..."

My heart automatically skipped a beat as I heard Mommy's formal voice, I couldn't

help but notice the sound of surprise there because I had memorized her tone even
clouded in formalities. Hindi ko nga alam kung bakit dumaan agad sa akin ang
emosyon sa pagkakadinig pa lang ng boses niya.

"Mommy," I said, clearing my throat quietly.

Hindi siya agad nakapagsalita, tumahimik ang linya bago ko narinig ang kanyang
paghingang malalim.

"I heard that you're in Manila, how are you?" she asked casually.

"I'm alright here... h-how about you, Mommy?"

Chancent was just listening and watching me, squeezing my shaky hand gently.

"I'm doing fine. Bumista ka raw kay Gunther?"

"Yes... after I heard what happened to him, I flew to Manila."

She sighed. "I heard. And I'm sorry for what happened in the hospital."

I held my breath and chuckled slightly. "That's okay, kilala ko naman na si Lola.
It's nothing big deal now."

Hindi siya nagsalita. I blinked my eyes and inhaled before speaking again.

"Do you have free time, Mommy?"

"I'm on a leave to rest, I'll be in Manila this week. Why?"

Huminga ako ng malalim, gulat pa sa kanyang sinabi.

"I wanna s-see you, if it's okay..." mahina kong sinabi, binawi ko agad. "But if
not, it's okay—"

"Sure, Pallavi. I'll be staying in Makati, at Gunther's house. You can visit
anytime or if you're not comfortable, we can meet anywhere."

My eyes heated, kumurap-kurap ako at nagbaba ng tingin.

"Ayos lang, Mommy. Pupuntahan kita sa bahay ni Gunther."

"Alright, thank you."

"S-See you, Mommy..."

Our talk ended like that, it was smooth than I expected. Para akong nanalo sa isang
bagay na hindi ko inasahan, iyon tuloy ang bukambibig ko kay Chance maghapon.
Natatawa naman siya sa akin dahil tuwang-tuwa ako at parang bata, hindi ko alam
kung nagsasawa na siya sa kinukwento o ano pero nakangiti naman siya habang abala
sa ginagawa niya at nakikinig.

Honestly, I'm missing Mommy... kahit hindi ganoon kaganda ang experiences ko sa mga
Miramontes ay iba pa rin si Mommy, Miramontes man siya ay siya pa rin ang nagluwal
sa akin at nagpalaki.

Binalita ko rin kay Papa na ayos ang pag-uusap namin ni Mommy, he was happy to hear
that. Buong maghapon ay nasa unit lang kami ni Chance, lumabas lang kami saglit
noong nag-grocery. The market was near here, hindi hassle ang lumabas para mamili
ng supplies niya.

"Yes, Ma. Why?"

Ngumuso ako nang marinig ang sinabi ni Chancent, he was  busy washing the
vegetables in the sink when he received that call while I was combing my wet hair—I
just got out of shower and went into the kitchen to help him.

"I'm with Sileas. Uh-huh, I'll try to convince her." He turned to the counter where
he was surprised to see me here already.

Lumabi lamang ako dahil hindi ko nakuha ang usapan, nanatili ang mga mata niya sa
akin nang ilapag ang mga gulay sa isang basket habang ang isang kamay ay hawak ang
cell phone sa tainga niya. He was topless with only board shorts, he looked really
hot doing household chores. Ayaw niya naman kasi akong pakilusin kaya madalas siya
ang gumagawa.
He then sighed. "Ma... not now. I'm cooking, let's just talk tomorrow. I'll set a
date of meeting." He gasped while listening. "Alright, alright. Calm down. I'll
pass it now." Bumusangot ang mukha niya bago inabot sa akin ang cell phone.

He already put it on loudspeaker before handing me, kunot noo at medyo kabado ako
pero inabot ko naman. Tiningnan ko si Chance.

He nodded and mouthed. "Talk to her."

I blinked, I don't know where to start but I collected myself. Inaasahan ko na rin
naman ito pero hindi lang ako makapaniwalang ngayon ko makakausap ang Mommy niya.

"Good evening, po..." I said softly.

"Good evening, hija. Sileas Villareal, right?" she asked with a hint of curiosity.

"Opo, Ma'am."

She gasped. "Oh! I didn't really expect to talk to you again. How are you, hija?"

"Ayos naman, po."

"Hmm, Chance told me that he needs to convince you first but I can't wait to meet
you already kaya ako na ang kukumbinse sayo ngayon."

Chance closed his eyes and just sighed. Napalunok naman ako.

"He said you'll be meeting your mother this week and I feel like it's unfair to
know nothing about you."

"I'm sorry, Ma'am..."

Chance glared at me, I took a deep breath and turned around.

"No need to apologize for that, I'm just curious and excited to meet you so I'll
use this time to convince you to meet us because I prepared a dinner here at home
and I want to invite you."

"Ma!" protesta ni Chance. "Sabi ko na sayo, this weekend!"

"Tumigil ka, Arlow. Ang dami-dami mong sikreto, be here right now. The dinner is
waiting, hindi kami mag-uumpisa na wala kayong dalawa... Sileas?" she shifted
suddenly. "Please, come here."

Huminga ako ng malalim, Chancent brought his feet beside me.

"Okay, Ma'am—"

"Tita," she demanded.

"O-Okay, po, Tita..."

"Thank you, hija. We'll be waiting here for your presence."

The call ended and I was so confused, para akong tulog habang kausap si Mrs.
Estrevillo kanina at ngayon lang iyon unti-unting nagsisink in sa akin. Chance's
arm wrapped around my waist.

"Chance..." I called, panicking.

"Don't worry, we can just come over tomorrow if you're not comfortable tonight."

"Hindi naman sa ganoon, I just can't believe this would happen today! I'm not
ready, I didn't bring formal dresses!"

He chuckled. "That's okay, you can wear pambahay. They won't judge you."

"Ugh!" I growled and rolled my eyes, mabilis akong nagmartsa papasok sa kanyang
kwarto para halungkatin ang mga dinala kong damit kanina.

Nakasunod si Chance at natatawa sa pagkakataranta ko, nilatag ko ang ilang dress na

dala sa kama at isa-isa iyong tinapat sa aking katawan saka tiningnan sa salamin.
Nakatunghay si Chance sa repleksyon ko, nagkrus ng mga braso habang nakalabi at
pinipigilan ang bungisngis niya.

"Everything will good on you, don't fret!"

"Baby, this is the first time I'll get to meet your parents! I should look decent!"

He laughed but his eyes narrowed by my call, he took steps behind me and hugged me
from the back while I was looking in the mirror to see the dresses. Marahan niyang
tinabi ang buhok ko sa kabilang balikat, I shivered when he kissed my nape down to
the bridge of my shoulder blade. Pinigilan kong magpadala at inabala ang sarili sa
pagpili ng dress.

"Heto kaya?"

He nodded without looking and was busy kissing my shoulder and nape, napairap ako.
Wala yata akong matinong sagot na makukuha. I was shocked when he suckled a small
skin on my shoulder and nape.

"Chancent Arlow!" I gasped and tried to wriggle.

"Baby..." he demanded roughly.

I rolled my eyes, kahit nag-iinit ay lumayo ako sa kanya para iwasan ang mga halik
niya. The betrayal look on his face was funny, his forehead was knotted and
frowning.

"No sex for tonight, Chance!" pinandilatan ko siya.

"Yes to making love..." he easily pulled me by my waist.

I can't believe him! Magdidinner kami sa kanila ngayon, bakit naiisip niya pa ang
ganito?

He quickly found the hem of my robe and held it before I felt him siding my panties
from behind, I gasped and looked in front where the mirror was watching us—he
pulled his shorts down easily. He squeezed my butt cheek as he slowly inserted inch
by inch into me, my mouth parted while looking at our reflection. I couldn't help
my own, seconds passed and I was breathlessly moaning his name countless times. His
dark eyes were almost glaring but the intensity of passion and arousal was clear as
crystal.

It was quick. I was dead tired even before the dinner, sa sasakyan ay panay ang
hikab ko habang patungo sa kanilang bahay. Umiinit ang pisngi ko kapag naalala ang
nangyari, Chance was really a hungry beast for sex! Sigurado akong maraming beses
pa naming iyong magagawa lalo kapag naikasal kami.
I blinked at the thought, it would be nice. My cheeks heated immediately. Why am I
suddenly addicted to it? Wala sa sarili kong nilingon si Chance at matalim na
tiningnan. Napansin niya agad iyon kaya tumawa siya at saka kinagat ang ibabang
labi.

"What?" he asked innocently.

"Ang saya mo, 'no?" anas ko.

"Very..."

"Kainis ka! Manyak!"

"Moaner," patol niya sabay halakhak.

Gigil na kinurot ko siya sa braso at inirapan. Tawa siya nang tawa hanggang sa
marating namin ang kanilang mansyon, kabado man ako ay kolektado ko na ang
confidence ko pagdating dito. Iniisip ko na lang na hindi ito matatapos kung
mananatili akong hiya pagdating sa pagpapakilala sa kanyang parents.

We went out of the car together and walked into their gate, their mansion has a
wide front yard and it looks so expensive. There was a long pathway towards the
mansion's double door, sabay at magkahawak ang kamay namin habang ginigiya niya ako
sa double door.

"Do I look okay?" I asked.

He turned to me with distorted face. "Come on, you are serving the look of a Queen.
You are just so beautiful, baby. You don't have to worry 'bout that."

I pouted, hinila na niya ako papasok ng mansyon. Chance really came from a wealthy
family and I guess, it was already in their name. Palagay ko ay walang naghihirap
ni isa sa pamilya nila.

Tahimik ang tanggapan kaya medyo nakapaghanda pa ako habang tuluyan na akong
hinihigit ni Chance patungong dining area. Pulos puti at abo ang detalye sa loob ng
kanilang bahay, there collection of jars and paintings. Hindi iyon nawawala talaga
sa bahay ng mayayaman, parang lahat ng napuntahan kong mansyon ay may mga painting
na nagkakahalaga ng libo at milyon. I don't know what's with it but maybe, I wasn't
just really a fan of art.

Nang tuluyan naming marating ang dining area ay agad akong namutla sa kaba, I saw
Chancent's complete family; his parents and sister... the unexpected dinner made it
more unexpected with Heidden's presence and the other families of Estrevillo, for
sure!

Heck! What in the world? Bigla yatang lumiit ang mundo!

Chancent's hand shifted to my waist, gently caressing it. Mukhang sorpresa rin siya
sa mga bisita lalo pa nang nagkagulo na ang iba sa pagbati, his Mom was already
walking closer to us.

"Good evening and welcome, hija!" she said, smiling widely.

"What's this, Ma?" Chance immediately asked.

She shrugs simply. "I just want this to be memorable with your girlfriend, anak. I
invited them, it was a nice timing that they're all free for dinner tonight!"
I gasped quietly as Chancent sighed in defeat, he caressed my waist again. Nalulula
ako sa dami ng kanyang pamilya rito ngayon, hindi ko tuloy alam kung paano
makitungo bigla.

Damn, what a nice first meeting with Estrevillos, Sileas!

#UM40
#UM40

I was both surprised and overwhelmed, I don't know what to feel exactly especially
when Chancent held my hand to pull me onto the long table to start introducing me.

"Fam, this is Sileas Villareal, my girlfriend." Chancent was chuckling in amusement

while introducing his uncles, cousins and aunties. He looked so happy and proud.
"And baby, this is my family..." he motioned the long table, I smiled shyly and
Chancent laughed as glanced at Tita Heaven. "Goodness, Ma! You totally shocked my
baby!"

My cheeks heated as my heart fluttered, I feel so lucky to have someone like him
that's so proud of me. Though, this is the first time I met them personally because
when we were together, I was in Davao with strict household that I did not get to
know them.

Tita Heaven smiled softly. "I'm sorry, hija. I've been so excited to meet you,
hetong bunso ko masyado kang tinago sa amin. Puro litrato mo pa lang ang nakita ko,
to think that you've met years ago, right? Where have you been and it took you so
long to meet us?"

My heart drubbed at her tone, parang nagtatampo iyon. Nagkibit balikat siya at
malawak na ngumiti sa amin.

"Sorry, Tita." I smiled apologetically.

Chancent held on my lower back and pulled a chair for me, naupo naman ako roon
habang kinakausap ni Tita Heaven—naupo rin siya sa aking tabi.

Kumaway si Tita Heaven. "That's alright now, you're here in Manila for good naman
siguro?"

Hindi ako nakasagot agad, bumungisngis naman si Chance at tumango.

"Of course, Chancent wouldn't let her go away from his sight!" halakhak ni Yslah,
she's Heidden and Heilder's mother.

"That's Estrevillo's signature move!" ani Rocket Estrevillo.

"What? You didn't run after me!" Queendall protested. "Move ng mga kapatid, hindi
ka kabilang!"

Umismid si Rocket. "Hinahabol naman kita araw-araw."

Shield Estrevillo gasped in disgust, tumawa si Yslah sa reaksyon ng asawa.

"You just let her go because she was too young and you were afraid to be jailed!"
asar ni Tito Cash.

They laughed. Wow, I didn't expect this view. Ang akala ko iyong mga Villareal na
ang nakilala kong pamilyang sobrang dali lang kasama dahil nakikisabay sa aming
kabataan pero ganito rin pala rito kila Chance.
"Walang young-young sa akin, Arrence! Age gaps can't change the fact of being in
love!"

"God!" Austrid exclaimed. Nagtawanan sila lalo na tila nagc-cringe sa sinasabi ng

tiyuhin.

"So how is it going? I heard that you broke up?" Queendall changed the route.
"Makikitsismis lang since this dinner is all about you two. Heaven was so excited
to see her youngest' love of his life."

Damn, I feel pressured. I held Chancent's hand and he took my hand on his lap while
caressing it. This jerk, it was a sign! Pinisil ko ang kamay niya kaya tumawa siya.

"Yes, Tita Frix. We broke up four years ago, mutual decision for her peace of mind
and own space." He smiled understandingly. "Baby grew up in a very strict and
decent family that I didn't get to introduce her earlier than tonight."

"It would really happen. It won't skip one relationship, every couple had been
there." Beauty chuckled elegantly. "But we're glad that you found a way back to
each other again even after years of being apart. That's what important, the
present."

That made me smile with realizations, life is always tough and unexpected that we
wouldn't know when or where things might happen.

Matrix was just listening to the topic, siya iyong tahimik sa magkakapatid na
Estrevillo at nakuwento nga sa akin ni Chance na suplado raw iyon at hindi mahilig
magsalita.

"True!" boses ni Austrid.

"And I remember, Villareals! Are you related to Patch Carlos?" Yslah interrupted,
smiling. "She was my Heidden's ex-girlfriend."

I nodded. "Opo, pinsan ko."

I have nothing against Patch now, bahala siya basta ako ay mabubuhay na masaya at
payapa kasama si Chance. She can move on and have somebody else, wala na rin naman
akong puot sa kanya at sigurado akong paabutan siya ng imbitasyon sa kasal namin ni
Chance. Nasa kanya na iyon kung dadalo siya o hindi.

"Ang liit talaga ng mundo, I really liked Patch for Heidden way back but things are
changing. It's still my son's decision."

I smiled and glanced at Heidden, he just shrugged at his Mom and our eyes met—he
gave me a lopsided smile. It comforted me, nginitian ko rin siya ng tipid. He
looked gentler with long hair and now with faded hair, a ruthless Engineer. He
suits both.

"And he's already happy with someone else now, ayos na rin ako roon." Ngiti ni
Yslah.

Woah, that's news!

Chancent was all normal, parang wala siyang grudges kay Heidden tungkol sa nangyari
noon na talagang nagpakumportable sa akin nang oras na iyon. We started eating
together with small talks and laughters, it made me more comfortable and confident
that I didn't need to be prim and proper for them to like me.
Chance's family was so nice and warm, I really love how they're making me feel the
whole time—it's like I'm already included to the family.

I simply scanned the table, hindi ko kasi natingnan isa-isa ang mga kasama namin
kanina dahil nahihiya pa ako at walang tapang na matamaan sila ng tingin. Hindi ko
malaman kung sino ang pinakabata sa kanilang magpipinsan dahil halos magkakabulto
lamang puwera sa mga babae, siyempre na halatang si Hermione ang pinakabata—anak ni
Beauty at Matrix Estrevillo.

"I heard that Villareals are also planning their family trip every holiday season,
saan ninyo balak ngayong pasko?"

"Wala pa pong napag-usapan tungkol sa lugar, Tita."

She nodded. "Please, inform Chance about it so we can be in one place. Matagal kang
nawala sa pasko at bagong taon ng bunso ko, we need to fulfill more holidays with
you."

Nakakatuwa, ang alam ko noon ay inaatake siya kapag nasa beach. Should I suggest
other places aside from beaches? Susubukan kong sabihin kila Papa. Puro outing na
rin naman sila noong nakaraang taon, baka puwedeng ibang lugar naman na pasyalan.

I chuckled and nodded, Chance laughed.

"Great, Mama!"

Napatingin ako sa bagong dating na lalaki pero mukhang inaasahan na ng mga

Estrevillo ang kanyang pagsulpot kaya hindi na nasorpresa. He's wearing an all
white nursing uniform, tall, lean and mestizo. His wet look hair was clean cut, may
suot siyang itim na relo at hawak na binder.

"Pyrex!" Beauty regarded with a scoff. "You're late!"

"Always," Matrix added.

Oh, that's their son. I knew it, unang kita ko pa lang sa mukha ay nakinita ko na
ang halong Matrix at Beauty. Hindi ko masabi kung sino ang mas lamang dahil halong-
halo ang kinalabasan sa kanya habang si Hermione ay kamukha ng Mommy nila. Pyrex is
the whole view of Matrix and Beauty in one gorgeous face, in fact he's the most
intimidating aside from Heilder.

Dumiretso siya sa kay Beauty para halikan iyon sa tuktok ng ulo bago tumango sa
kanyang ama.

"Take a sit," Matrix said and he did casually.

Doon pa lang siya nag-angat ng tingin para bumati sa mga tao, he looked so neat.
"Good evening..."

Guwapo pero Chance pa rin ang pinakaguwapo para sa akin. Iba talaga ang tingin sa
isang tao kapag mahal mo, e. Hindi mawawala na siya iyong palaging bida.

They are all handsome, yes for sure. They came from their beautiful parents, who
wouldn't be born with those faces? It's just that, I'm badly in love with Chancent
Arlow that made everyone seems normal.

Tumawa si Rocket. "Where have you been?"

"Obviously, hospital," basag ni Matrix.

They laughed.

"Night shift." Pyrex chuckled

"Ilang taon ka na nga ulit?" tanong ni Tita Heaven.

"Twenty-three, Tita."

"May girlfriend ka na?" tanong ni Austrid.

Hindi siya sinagot ni Pyrex at nag-umpisa na iyong kumain, suplado nga. Mana-mana
lang talaga.

The dinner continued smoothly, maraming napag-uusapan tungkol sa iba-ibang bagay at

medyo uncomfortable ako dahil sa mga tingin ni Nyxinea sa akin na kailan ko lang
nahuli. I couldn't really read what's in her mind and looks but I can sense
judgement that I did not want to tolerate within me because I easily get hurt. Lalo
na't alam kong malapit sila ni Patch, hindi malabong aayawan niya ako dahil best
friend niya iyon at baka nga mas gusto niya para kay Chance. This isn't the first
time we met but... this is the first time I feel the tall walls between us.

Huminga ako ng malalim at iwas ang mga matang tumingin sa kinaroroonan niya.
Napansin kong hindi siya nagsasalita kanina pa, iyong iba naman ay normal at
kumportable.

"What's your plan, Arlow?" Tito Cash asked suddenly.

Chance put down his utensils and shrugged. Nakatingin na silang lahat ngayon sa
amin, nagtaas ng mga kilay si Chance bilang paninugurado sa tanong.

"Well, I still want to stand for HASH in New York but I'm planning to take a leave
for this year if you'll allow."

Tito Cash raised a brow. "We can consider that with important reason, Arlow."

He looked really like Chancent but eyes were different because Chance has softer.

"Love..." tawag ni Tita Heaven.

Tito Rocket whistled and I caught him glance at my hand.

"Someone would make an announcement, I think?"

Chancent shook his head with a smile on his lips, he took my hand and lifted it.
Nagpuyos ang pisngi ko sa hiya pero hindi ko iniwas iyon at ngumiti na lamang din
habang nagsinghapan sila.

"Oh my, God! That's what we call announcement! Period!" Queendall said excitedly.

Chancent nodded and chuckled.

"This is my plan, Papa. We're gonna get married this year, probably next month."

"You just got back together, right?" Nyxinea interrupted. "Isn't it too early for
marriage?"

My heart dribbled nervously, tutol ba siya?

Chancent turned to her with arched brow.

"My plan, my decision. I don't care about the time, early or late. This is what I
want to happen."

"Oh, I'm just really concerned and shocked."

Kumunot ang noo ni Chance. "Your concerns aren't my responsibility."

Napisil ko ang kamay ni Chance sa aking hita, nawala ang kunot sa noo niya nang
sulyapan ako at ngumiti ng tipid.

"Nyxinea," ani Tito Cash at tipid na inilingan ito kaya nagbaba ng tingin si
Nyxinea at nagpatuloy na lang sa pagkain.

I ignored it so I'd look unbothered in front of Chance.

"Congrats, bunso and Sileas!" Tita Heaven cheered up, clapping her hands. "Welcome
to the fam, hija! We're so happy that you're finally marrying this kid here!"

"I'm not a kid, magpapakasal na ako Mama, oh!" Chancent protested like a baby.

"Kailan naman kaya si Heilder ko? Wala pang pinapakilala sa amin, naunahan pa ng
mas batang pinsan!" sambit ni Yslah, natutuwa sa usapan.

"Ma!" ismid ni Heilder. "Marriage isn't necessary and introducing someone to the
fam is a big deal for me. I want assurance first before those things."

"Gusto ko na ng apo, Heilder... Heidden?" she smiled at her sons.

Heidden smirked. "Kuya, kailan daw?"

Sinamaan siya ng tingin ni Heilder at hindi nagsalita.

They laughed. Even when I feel a bit bothered—I was confident that Chance is just
beside me, he got my back here and I have nothing to worry. Kami naman ang
magpapakasal, hindi ang ibang tao.

Our dinner was enjoying and overwhelming, I feel so full as Chancent's aunties and
uncles bid their goodbyes. Sa iisang village lang sila nakatira kaya hindi mahirap
ang kanilang pag-uwi, naiwanan ang ilang pinsan ni Chancent—ang dinig ko ay babalik
sila kaya pinilit nila kami ni Chance na manatili muna at madalang na raw kasing
umuwi si Chance doon kaya lulubusin na ang gabi.

I guess they're up to drink tonight and I don't mind spending the night here with
them.

"Wanna see my room here?" he asked, we're in the living area now.

Nanliit ang mga mata ko sa kanya, wala pa man ay kinurot ko siya sa braso.

"Ayaw ko."

Tumawa siya at pinulupot ang braso sa baywang ko. "Why? Ipapakita ko lang naman
sayo kung saan ako natutulog simula bata pa lang."

"No, I don't believe you."

He grinned and his lips reach for my ear, he gently bit it. "Is it bad to do
something in my room?"

Suminghap ako at hinampas siya, uminit ang mukha ko.

"Chance, manahimik ka! We just did it before dinner, adik ka ba?" saway ko sa kanya
sa mahinang boses.

"This is another place..." he planted sweet kisses on my cheek until the side of my
lips.

"Let's not make it a routine or we'll both get addicted to it."

"You do?" he chuckled gruffly and looked at me.

I nodded shamefully while glaring at it.

"Hmm, what's addicting to it?"

"Lahat, Chance... ikaw."

"Damn, baby..." he whispered, chuckling. "You're turning me on and I don't wanna be

seen here with a boner. Let's go upstairs, please."

Napairap ako pero sumunod naman sa paghila niya sa akin, we went into his room.
Their mansion was pretty big, malaki ang bahay namin sa Davao kaysa rito pero mas
ramdam ko ang init ng pagtanggap dito.

I was awed because it looks like a kid's room inside, it has a galaxy theme. Ang
kanang pader ay malawak na istanteng salamin at doon nakalagay ang Star Wars
collection niya, mangha ako habang ginagala ang tingin. Napansin ko ang ilang
frames sa istante at nakita kong pictures namin iyon four years ago, dalawa iyong
magkasama kami at ang tatlo pang frames ay puro portraits ko na siya mismo ang
kumuha.

I felt his arms, hugging me from the back—he buried his nose on the side of my neck
and nuzzled.

"When did you print these photos?"

"Matagal na 'yan, four years ago."

"Hindi mo tinatanggal dito?"

"Tonight's the first time I went here after our break up, I had no time to throw
those frames."

I frowned. "E, 'di itapon mo na ngayon! Tutulungan kita!"

Ang totoo, tuwang-tuwa ang puso ko nang makita ang mga litrato namin dito. Ewan ko
pero para akong maiiyak dahil doon, I just feel so loved and appreciated. Chance
can easily make me cry in happiness, kaunting aksyon niya ay mainit sa puso ko.

Humalakhak siya at inamoy ang leeg ko lalo, tumingin din siya sa frames.

"I love you, Sileas," he said soulfully while looking at the frames. "Sobra pa sa
sobra."

Ngumuso ako at nilingon siya para halikan sa pisngi.

"I love you more, I'm always thankful that you waited for me."

He smiled. "We really should talk to your mother as soon as possible so we can hire
organizers for the wedding. I'm excited to marry you, I can't wait any longer to
call you my wife."

"I am your wife, marriage is just a formality. My heart is already chained to you."

Mahinang natawa siya at binaon ang halakhak sa aking leeg, it was more like a manly
giggle and his arms tightened around my waist.

"Sabi mo, Mrs. Estrevillo, e..." he whispered gruffly but sweet in my ears.

I smiled and closed my eyes, this is the contentment I've been trying to find when
I was all alone. Kay Chance ko talaga nakukuha ang mga pakiramdam kong kulang, siya
ang bumubuo at nagkukulay sa mga kakulangang hindi ko mahanap noon.

Our night rolled slowly, pagtapos niyang maligo sa kuwarto ay bumaba rin kami para
makisalamuha sa mga pinsan niyang naroon. Bumalik ang mga lalaking Estrevillo
puwera kay Pyrex, may nadagdag ding ilang kamag-anak nila sa ibang side naman.

It came like a little get together at their mansion's backyard. Nakilala ko ang
dalawang pinsan ni Chance sa side ni Tita Heaven, si X at Xendi Felizardo. They're
both nice, X looks like good boy with bad habits and Xara is too girly and
talkative. Siya ang nakakausap ko sa table, tumabi agad siya sa akin noong
ipakilala kami ni Chance.

"What are you waiting for? When's the wedding?" she giggled.

"Just wait for the invitation, we're gonna rush it after kong mamanhikan sa mga
Miramontes."

"Oh, wow! Miramontes ka?" agad na baling sa akin ng Xara.

I nodded. "Yes, my Mom."

"Wow! That's really wow!"

Kumunot ang noo ko, umismid si X sa pagkamangha ng kapatid.

"She has a huge crush on Garrett Miramontes, are you in the same sect?"

"Yes, he's my cousin but not close." I smiled.

Hindi ko close si Garrett at bihira siya sa Davao dahil sa Villa Terrazas o Maynila
siya namamalagi kapag umuuwi ng Pinas. Wala lang akong balita sa kanya ngayon, he's
the youngest son of Tito Ganix—he's only nineteen now.

"Awe, sad! Pero invited ba siya sa wedding n'yo?"

I shrugged. "Depends."

I'll send invitations to the whole family, nasa kanila na kung pupunta sila o hindi
dahil hinding-hindi ako mamimilit sa presensya nila. It's my wedding day, I don't
want anyone to ruin my special day with Chancent.

She crossed her fingers. "Sana, sana!"

I chuckled. I hope, too. Nagbuntong-hininga ako, I hope I can get a chance to talk
to Gabanni and apologize for everything. Kahit naman sabihin kong defense iyon ay
hindi ko maiwasang malungkot para sa baby.

Kuwentuhan at tawanan ang nanaig sa mga lumipas na oras, masyado akong naaliw sa
kanilang tawanan dahil nakakadala. They looked so close to each other, naglalaro na
sila ng baraha ngayon at dahil wala akong alam doon ay nanunood lang ako kay
Chance. I didn't get bored, it was entertaining to watch.

My cell phone rang for facetime, sinagot ko agad dahil sa Capriana ang caller at
sumalubong sa akin ang pilya niyang ngisi roon bago kumaway.

"Hi!" I said, Chancent advanced backwards to look at the screen and when he saw
Capriana—he went back to play cards.

"Huy! Tito Dence already informed Popsy about you marriage plan! I'm so excited! Is
it grand?"

I shrugged. "I want a church wedding, kahit hindi enggrande. Alam na rin nila
Arki?"

Nagulat ako nang itapat niya ang camera sa mga kasama at nakita ko roon sila Arki,
Bhaltie, Troi at Jace. Nakahiga si Troi sa sofa at natutulog yata, si Arki ay
matalim agad ang tingin sa screen, si Bhaltie ay kumaway sa akin at si Jace ay
abala lamang sa cell phone. Mabilis na kinuha ni Arki ang cell phone para itapat sa
kanya.

"You! You didn't tell me that you got back together! Kasal na agad ang maririnig
kong balita? Wala man lang, interrogation?"

Tumawa ako. "I'm sorry, Arki! You can interrogate him after our wedding!"

"That dude was really advanced and fast, huh?" umirap siya. "Saan daw kayo
ikakasal? I hope it's a grand wedding since you're the first one who's gonna marry
in our generation and you deserve it!"

"I'll give her that, don't worry," sabat ni Chancent kahit hindi siya nakikita sa
screen.

"Good, Estrevillo."

Tawa nang tawa si Capriana at Bhaltie roon.

"Shit, I don't really know what to say. I didn't expect that you'll marry first!"
iling ni Bhaltie. "But, congratulations! I hope my sister won't follow yet—"

Binatukan siya ni Capriana. "I don't believe in marriage, shut up!"

"It's because you're not a one man woman!" asar naman ni Arki sa kanya.

Natatawa ako sa kanila, sumandal ang likuran ni Chance sa akin na tinanggap ko

naman. Tiniklop niya ang mga baraha at mukha na niya ang nasa screen ng cell phone
ko, I adjusted my arm to fix my cell phone's view. I rested my chin on Chance's
shoulder.

"Are you all in Makati tonight?" he asked my cousins.

"Yup!"
"If you wanna come, we can have the whole night here together..." Chance trailed
and chuckled. "I'm free for interrogation, Attorney Archelaus."

I laughed, malakas din ang tawa nila Capriana.

"Atapang!"

Bhaltie nodded. "Sure! Sure! Let's go, guys!"

Nagtaas ng kilay si Arki at tumayo. "Alright, Mr. CEO!"

"Oh my gosh! Come on, Jace!" dinig ko si Capriana roon.

"I don't wanna go, I'm exhausted."

"Ay naku! KJ, bahala kayo ni Troi diyan mga dead dicks!"

Humagalpak sa tawa si Bhaltie. Arki asked if they need to buy and bring something
but Chance just shook his head, we ended the call. The night is still young and it
will get so long with my cousins here! Palainom pa naman ang mga iyon at malakas
ang alcohol tolerance.

Hindi ako nagkamali nang dumating sila, mas umingay dahil kay Capriana. Mabuti na
lang at hindi naman siguro dinig ang ingay sa itaas kung saan ang silid ng parents
nila Chance, baka makaistorbo. Xara and Capriana got along well, they have the same
vibe and likes.

"May bahay ka na ba 'pag naikasal kayo?" tanong ni Capriana kay Chance bigla.

"Blue print pa lang, I need her ideas for that."

Suminghap ako, hindi ko alam iyon. Puwede naman kaming sa condo lang muna, e.

"He has a unit, we can stay there!"

"Mas maganda ang may bahay para secured talaga!"

Tumawa si Chance at tumango.

"Right, I'm gonna process the construction immediately after the wedding."

"Good!" sang-ayon ni Bhaltie.

"Kunin mong Engineer si Jace or Zac!" suhestiyon ni Capriana.

"Oh, no, no..." Chancent shook his head. "I don't like them, baka hindi ko
makasundo."

"Heidden?"

Chancent glanced at Heidden who heard the suggestion, he flashed a grin and nodded.
Agad suminghap si Chance.

"That's the worst case, I'll probably find mistakes to fire him!"

Kinurot ko siya sa braso, tumawa siya at kumindat.

"I'll go with somebody else, marami namang Engineers na wala akong inis."
"Bakit ba kasi may inis?" mapang-asar na ani Capriana. "Kay Zac at Jace
naiintindihan ko kasi sila naman iyong parating kasama ni Sileas sa unit niya sa
Canada."

Okay, damn. Here we go Mighty Capriana who knows how to hit a nerve!

"Oh, shoot!" Bhaltie laughed.

Arki was just listening, nagkausap naman na sila ni Chance kanina at nagbatian at
pasalamat pa ako na hindi siya naghihimutok ngayon.

I gasped. "Capri, don't try to start our first fight!"

"Tss, you're jealous of your cousin?" Arki mocked as he sipped on his bottle.

"Of course not," ani Chance. "I'm just kidding, there's nothing can make me jealous
now." He snaked his arm around my waist.

Arki's eyes went down on my waist and rolled his eyes. "Being engaged doesn't mean
you can cling in front of me."

Nagtawanan kami, Bhaltie patted his shoulder.

"Come on, where's the fun? Chill out, man! She's about to get married, we should
celebrate that!"

"Celebrate, my ass."

Ngumisi si Chance, tinawanan ko si Arki.

"Arki, let's move on, please! For peace and happiness!" I said and lifted my glass
of juice to toss.

"She's almost twenty-four, Ark! Right age to get married!"

Arki lifted his bottle up and we tossed altogether.

"Walang iiyak na Pallavi, Estrevillo!"

Chance chuckled. "Yeah, I promise! Sileas will never cry! Well, how 'bout tears of
joy? Does it count?"

Humagalpak sila sa tawa.

"Tears of joy is okay!" ani Bhaltie. "Marami ka pang maririnig na ganito, hintayin
mo sa mga susunod na araw."

Chancent nodded. "I'm always ready."

Our talk became lively and entertaining as the time passes by, kasalamuha na namin
ang lahat at nasa iisang table na kami. Chancent was all fine, parang hindi nga
umeepekto ang alak sa sistema niya dahil kahit pananalita ay maayos pa. Ang tanging
maingay ay si Capriana, Austrid at Xara na nag-uusap tungkol sa sports.

Medyo ramdam ko na ang antok nang isang beses akong maghikab, hindi kasi ako uminom
ngayon dahil wala ako sa mood mag-inom at masaya ako sa kuwentuhan.

"Kailan kayo mamamanhikan sa mga Miramontes?" si Arki.

"We won't do that, we'll be meeting Mommy this week for formalities only." I
smiled.

"Oh, that. Pamamanhikan is like convincing the family, right?" Bhaltie intervened.

"Yes... and I know it will be hard to convince all the Miramontes so we'll just
talk to Mommy."

"Hmm, we should still send them invitations," Chance whispered.

I nodded and smiled. "We will."

He sniffed on my hair and kissed my cheek softly. I yawned, I quickly covered my

mouth.

"Sleepy?"

"Medyo, puwede naman akong matulog sa kuwarto mo, 'di ba? Or uuwi tayo sa condo
mo?" I asked lowly, nilingon ko siya at tinuko ko ang ilong sa kanyang braso para
amuyin iyon.

"We can stay for the night here, you look tired."

"Okay, I'll just sleep upstairs. Maiwan ka muna rito..." Tumayo ako.

Sumunod din siya sa pagtayo ko at hinawakan ako sa balakang, nilapag niya ang bote
ng beer sa lamesa bago tumango kila Arki.

"Ihahatid ko lang sa taas, inaantok na..." paalam niya.

Arki's eyes darted but he nodded, Chance laughed.

"I'll be back!"

Tumawa rin si Bhaltie, lumapit ako kay Capriana at nagpaalam na matutulog bago kami
tuluyang pumasok muli sa kanilang mansyon.

We went straightly into his room and he sat on the bed, sinandal ang kanyang
likuran sa headboard at pailalim na tumingin sa akin.

"I'm just gonna wash my face and I'll sleep, you should go back."

"Will you be alright here?" he asked softly.

I smiled. "Yes..." I walked into his bathroom, I didn't close the door and just
washed my face. Habang sinasabon ang mukha ay sumilip ulit ako sa labas para
tawagin siya. "Baby?"

He was closed eyes, leaning on the headboard—he opened his right eye to look at me.

"Hmm?"

"Can I borrow a shirt?"

He stood up and nodded like a lazy slave, tumungo siya sa closet para kumuha ng
itim na shirt.

"Please, always call me that..." he pouted and walked towards me, tumayo lang siya
at sumandal sa door frame habang pinapanuod ako sa paghihilamos.
"Okay, baby!" I smiled and looked at him in the mirror.

He closed his eyes and a smile crept on his lips.

"Thank you, baby..." he said in a whisper. "For everything."

I groaned. "Are you drunk?"

Tinuyo ko ang mukha sa face towel na nakasabit lamang doon at nilingon siya.
Nakasandal ang sentido niya sa door frame at mapungay ang mga matang nakatingin sa
akin.

"I'm not. I just feel bad for not doing a proper proposal with surprises and such
to make it special for you." He frowned.

"That's alright, baby! Ano ka ba? I don't need surprises, everything you do is
already special for me so stop thinking about it!" natatawa kong sinabi, lumapit
ako at inangkla ang mga kamay ko sa batok niya. I kissed his chin. "I love you and
that's enough to see everything special."

He groaned and grabbed my hips up to lift me, I wrapped my legs around his waist as
he started giving me kisses.

"I love you so damn much," he whispered. "Ako lang, Sileas... ako lang simula
ngayon hanggang huli."

I nodded and closed my eyes with a smile.

"Ikaw lang, Chancent..."

He kissed my lips. "Let's meet your Mom tomorrow morning and get married the next
day."

Humalakhak ako, hindi umangal sa kagustuhan niyang mangyari. Bahala siya, kahit
kailan naman ay pakakasalan ko siya.

Chancent gave me the world without other boundaries but him, in the end of
everything. I never expected that there was a fairytale in reality—or rather a
reality that feels like fairytale, with Chancent, I feel every second in slow
motion and my heart always skips a beat to meet his harmony. His voice became the
shelter of my own fantasy that I did not want to end.

Or it's just really, Chancent Arlow is my fantasy.

I've hurt him so many times, I've created a big mess and an unholy child but he
always seems to understand everything I do and I had been through without a
judgement that even myself couldn't accept. I guess, I have already found my
perfect self in his eyes but I was afraid to admit that because I still wanted to
learn by myself.

He's that man, the man I always love. My kind of perfection.

This is the Chance I'm taking without a second, there will be only Chance for me
and that's always him. This is the beginning that I don't want to have an end, time
please—slow down and I'll do everything to keep this fantasy.

---
Last part of Sileas' point of view, thank you for reading this piece!

(03-16-20)

#UMwakas
#UMwakas

Sileas has been very busy scheduling the meeting with Placidos, after the dinner
and mini welcome party with Estrevillos and Felizardos—she started contacting Mrs.
Gabbana Placido for the announcement that she wants to be done splendidly while
early.

I am letting her decide.

I am so proud of her, she's finally deciding on her own now without thinking twice
like the old her. Confused and selfish. Though, kahit immaturity niya ay pinahanga
naman yata ako noon. Ganoon na talaga ang hangin kapag mahal mo ang isang tao,
mahirap nang makakita ng pangit dahil puro maganda na ang nakikita.

I bit my bottom lip while looking at Sileas, she was talking with Mama and Austrid—
Tito Rocket's daughter. Natutuwa ako kay Austrid dahil marunong siyang makisama
kahit kanino. Hindi gaya ni Ate na mayroong pinipili.

"Nyxinea is nice!" dinig kong sabi ni Austrid habang natatawa. "You know, she's
just protective but don't take it seriously!"

Tipid na ngumiti si Sileas, si Mama ay tumingin sa kanya at naroon ang concern sa

mga mata.

"Magkakasundo kayo noon, eventually. Pasensya ka na sa panganay ko noong nakaraang

dinner natin, she wasn't really that rude to question your marriage. Nabigla lang
siguro siya," Mama said softly.

I was kinda irritated for what my sister did that night, tinext ko talaga siya noon
para lang mapagsabihan kahit papaano. She shouldn't question my decisions in life,
especially Sileas.

"Naiintindihan ko po, Tita." Sileas smiled.

I sighed. Nyxinea is a loyalist. Hindi ko naman siya pipiliting gustuhin o makisama

kay Sileas, I just want a fair respect and treatment. Hindi por que best friend
niya si Patch ay kaiinisan niya ang babaeng mahal at pinili ko. I also don't want
to have a fight with her because her concerns will never be my priority now, she's
just my sister. I don't need to follow where would she be contented because this is
my life after all, I would choose who I wanted to be with for the rest of my life.

Si Sileas lang ang gusto, gugustuhin, mahal ko at mamahalin pa. I don't care about
everything as long as she's beside me, siya lang ang kailangan ko at ako na ang
bahala sa lahat ng haharapin namin magkasama.

"Nyxinea doesn't approve?" tanong ni Racksle.

"She's a Patch loyalist." I shrugged.

Nagtaas ng kilay si Heilder. "Even so, Patch isn't the girl for you nor for Heidden
and we don't share the same woman. Bakit hindi na lang siya maging masaya?"
Heilder and Pyrex are really the harsh and frank ones, they say what they want
without thinking of other people's feelings. They aren't tamed, I don't think that
they could be. Ang kaibahan lang, si Heilder ay may kaunting pake habang si Pyrex
ay wala talaga hangga't hindi kasali ang pangalan niya sa problema ay wala siyang
sasabihin.

Though, they're both very sensible.

"Let her adjust," sali ni Chain na kaaahon lang mula sa pool. Kinuha niya ang
tuwalya sa lounger at nagpunas bago abutin ang baso ng juice sa lamesa.

I nodded and sighed heavily. I actually care about her sentiments as my sister but
she's being unfair now, I want us to have a better conversation. Maybe, after the
wedding. Ayaw kong may sama ako ng loob sa kasal kaya kailangan ko muna siyang
ignorahin.

Muli kong nilapatan ng tingin si Sileas at hindi ko maiwasang i-nguso ang ngiti ko,
nagtatawanan na sila ngayon habang nag-aayos ng mga bulaklak sa vase. I could
clearly describe how I remember our first meeting, she was not that kind of girl
with a perfect smile...

"Isn't that Heid's girl?" Nam said out of nowhere.

My forehead creased when I looked and saw Patch Carlos, entering Starbucks with
unfamiliar girl. They're both holding a lot of shopping bags and I wasn't
surprised, I nodded at Nam.

That's Patch, the spoiled brat girlfriend of my cousin.

"Are they still together?" she clung on my arm while walking.

I shrugged. "She broke up with Heid, days ago."

I couldn't understand this girl, Patch is my closest friend if we're talking about
girl friends because I've never been friendly with girls and Patch is the only
friend I got that has no other agenda—we have it platonic. I just don't get why
does she need to break up with Heid with a stupid reason like she was gonna take a
break from updating Heidden time to time and she needed space but still holding him
on the neck.

What a confusing bluff, right? She's so immature and possessive. Well, I wouldn't
expect anything good from a brat, immature girls are hard to handle. I don't really
like younger girls, gusto ko iyong kaedad ko o mas matanda dahil mas magaling
silang humawak ng relasyon at mas nakakaintindi na hindi pasasakitin ang ulo mo at
may sariling desisyon sa buhay. Iyong mga bata kasi, magulo ang isip. Mahirap
pakisamahan dahil ikaw parati ang dapat mag-adjust—which I would never do.

"Poor, Heid. He got one immature girlfriend." She laughed.

I chuckled. "He can handle that."

Ewan ko ba kay Heidden, nabulag na yata ng immaturity ni Patch pero gustong-gusto

pa ring paganahin ang relasyon nila. Their relationship was toxic, actually. I
think, he needs to let go so Patch can figure herself out kasi ang gulo niya
talaga.

Hinatid ko si Nam sa kanilang office, she's one of my flings and we just met here
to eat. Malapit lang sa Shangri-la iyon kaya bumalik ako para puntahan si Patch.
I went into Starbucks, naroon pa rin si Patch at naabutan kong pabalik sa kasama
niya habang dala ang orders.

I smirked and walked. Uh-huh, nakipagbreak kay Heidden para magkape sa Pilipinas.

"Hey," I approached Patch.

Her eyes widened even without looking at me, I know that she got shocked by only
hearing my familiar voice. Natawa ako at mas nilapitan siya.

"Heidden misses you..." I teased. "Nandito ka lang pala."

Seriously, Heidden is so mature in handling relationships and people these past

years. Magkaedad lang naman kami at sabay lumaki, he's my best friend but I never
felt so responsible while growing like him. We were both very playful in teenage
years until he graduated college and took his board, simula nang makilala namin si
Patch ay doon na nagbago ang pagtingin niya sa isang relasyon. He doesn't wanna
hurt her in any way that brought him to another level of taking relationship
seriously with her, si Patch lang naman ang hindi pa ganoon kaseryoso.

"Just leave me alone and keep your mouth shut, Chancent!" she hissed.

Ang pikon talaga nito. Bigla na lang siyang nagsusungit sa akin simula noong
nakaraang buwan sa New York, nakakainis minsan kasi hindi ko malaman kung may
nagawa ba akong mali sa kanya o ano.

"So you broke up with Heidden to get a coffee in the Philippines, huh?" I teased
more.

"Funny! Ang daming coffee shop sa New York! Can't accept that you guys are
breakable? Man up, boy! Estrevillos aren't that hard to break up with!" she said
brutally.

I laughed. "Ouch."

Sanay ako riyan, hindi na bago sa bibig ni Patch ang ganyang mga salita kaya hindi
na nakakainsulto. Mas lalo si Heidden, immune iyon. Ganito ba naman ang maging
girlfriend, sinong hindi maririndi at magsasanay na lang. Besides, she's right. We
are easily breakable especially when we're in love; it's a fact, I know every
Estrevillo had been there.

Sinundan ko siya hanggang sa lamesa nila, the other girl was looking at us. Ngayon
ko lang napansin nang malapitan.

She's fair with very straight long hair, mapungay ang mga mata, matangos ang ilong
at mapula ang labi. She's pretty gorgeous but not that unique, sa dami kong babaeng
nakikita sa paligid, wala na akong masasabing bago at nag-iisa. Maganda oo, pero
hindi ko alam ang kaugalian nila. Basta para sa akin, maganda lang.

I don't usually compliment the looks, I am more impressed by the attitude and
intelligence. For me, that's the whole package.

"Is he your ex-boyfriend, Patch?" she asked in a formal tone that sounds
intimidating.

That caught my attention for a second. That was so catchy. I really like girls with
authority and power in the aura, sa boses pa lang ay halatang hindi basta-basta.
Ganoon ang tingin ko sa mga suplada, hindi ko hilig iyong masalita at maingay pero
puwede namang mag-ingay... sa ibang bagay.

Imbes na maubo sa tanong ay sa naisip pang kalokohan, agad kong inalis sa isip
iyon.

"No way in hell! My gosh! Why would you think that? Mukha ba kaming bagay! Yuck!"
Patch chided.

Akala naman niya papatulan ko rin siya, hindi ko siya tipong babae kaya malabo
talaga kami ni Patch. Bukod sa pagiging magkaibigan, wala na akong espesyal na
pagtingin sa kanya. I've known her for too long and we had bond many times since
she's my sister's best friend, she's always with us. Isama pa na girlfriend siya ni
Heid kaya parang Estrevillo na rin siya.

"That's Heidden's fuck boy cousin!" dagdag ni Patch at lingon sa babae. "So what
are we gonna do now? How 'bout Bhaltair? Calli? Any available driver?"

Really? Heidden's fuck boy cousin? How could she judge me easily like that?
Sometimes, it's really disappointing but who am I to protest? That's their view and
I know myself more than them. I don't need to explain anything just to have a good
image. If they think bad of me, okay.

I laughed and asked. "I'm not a driver but available, Patch. Where are you up to?"

Nagkatinginan silang dalawa at kita ko agad ang kanilang koneksyon sa isa't isa,
natuko ang tingin ko sa babae. She really looked sophisticated, that was my first
impression. Suplada.

Anyway, are they best friends or what? Don't tell me, Patch had changed her heart
and this is the real reason why she broke up with Heid?

Eventually, Patch let me bring them home. I did. I actually couldn't feel myself
when I was driving because I got so occupied by how they talk together. They seemed
very close and happy together.

"Huwag si Pallavi, pinsan ko iyon, ah!" Patch warned me that made me bring my eyes
back at her.

Doon ko nalaman na magpinsan pala sila at Sileas ang pangalan niya, nasabi niya
noong nagpasalamat siya sa paghatid ko sa kanila. Hindi naman gaanong kasuplada
pero kita sa kanyang hindi sanay makibagay sa paligid.

I glanced at their doorway where Sileas fend off and grinned at Patch who was
crossing her arms in front of me.

"Relax, Patch. Wala pa nga akong ginagawa, e."

She hit my chest and pushed, she looked very irritated. Namumula ang mukha habang
nakatitig sa akin ng matalim.

"I know that look! Don't fool me, hindi ka papasa sa mga pinsan ko! Playboy! You
only do flings, my cousin isn't for that cheap level!"

I raised my brows innocently and a chuckle slipped out of my mouth while looking at
her, she looked so red and annoyed.

"I just wanna be friends, may masama ba roon?" kalmado kong tanong. Nakakatawa rin
'to, nagagalit bigla.
Hindi ko naman gagawing fling, puwede naman kilalanin muna at alam ko ring hindi
ako papasa roon. Mukhang mataas ang standards at high maintenanced, sa pananamit pa
lang at pananalita ay halatang nasa itaas ang pamilya.

"No, asshole!" Patch hissed.

I sighed and smiled lightly.

I can't blame her for giving me name of assholes because I really am, she's just
protecting her cousin.

Mas namula ang mukha niya at parang uusok ang ilong sa iritasyon. I puckered my
lips. She gasped, the rude girl just marched into their house and left me hanging.

Napailing ako at tinawanan iyon bago nagpasyang umalis.

Buti pa si Sileas, marunong mag thank you!

You're welcome, Sileas...

I've never been into a serious relationship again after I got my first heartbreak,
it was a puppy love that I took seriously for about a year of dating the girl—we
were both young and I eventually understood the situation of being in a young
relationship without assurance at all, taking relationship seriously is a risk
because you don't know how it will attack you in the end so it's better to let it
flow naturally in place to be safe.

Pangit iyong may plano kang magseryoso sa ganitong bagay na wala namang kasiguruhan
dahil malaki ang tsansang umasa, na ayaw ko talagang mararanasan ngayon. It can be
applied to anything in life, hindi lang sa relasyon.

Simula noon, ayaw ko na muna. I only do flings for years and I haven't felt
anything special yet with anyone, though, I know that someday someone's gonna
change the status. Wala pa lang siguro talaga ngayon, sama lang ako sa agos nito
kung saan ako dadalhin.

I was grinning from ear to ear as I approached the long table, it was Tita Yslah's
birthday. She decided to celebrate it over a formal dinner with the whole family of
Estrevillo and dos Santos, everyone's wearing a suit that made it seem like we were
in a conference meeting. Women in long dresses and men in their suits.

I kissed Mama's head and my eyes darted at Heidden, I creased my forehead and
chuckled. I knew that he'd be here for Tita's celebration, ngumisi siya sa akin at
tumango.

"Hmm..." I tilted my head as I took a seat beside him. "What are you doing here?"

Abala naman ang lahat sa kani-kanilang mundo habang nag-uumpisa na sa paghahain ng

pagkain ang waiters.

Heidden relocated on his seat as he loosened his tie and fixed his suit, he raised
a brow. "What kind of question was that, fucker? It's Mama's birthday."

"Or you just heard that your brat girl is currently here?" I grinned teasingly.

Kaya natatawag na aso 'to, e.

Heidden rolled his eyes sluggishly. "I'm tired of her stunts. Bahala siya."
"I don't believe that." I laughed. "I guess she just wants attention, you were so
busy with work. Girlfriends want attention and time, Heid. You should at least give
yourself a break, take a leave and bring her to places. Relax."

Siguradong may kasalanan din si Heidden, may mga pagkukulang siya bilang nobyo. He
doesn't find time to bond with Patch, to date her. Mas madalas siyang puro trabaho
nitong mga nakaraang buwan. Iyon siguro ang hindi maintindihan ni Patch kaya
nakipaghiwalay na naman.

"I know, I'm giving her time. I took a leave so I can stay here."

Lalo akong natawa at namangha. "Dude, you got it bad. Deny ka pa, may plano ka rin
naman pala."

He sighed heavily.

He's in love? I think so. He wouldn't waste time if not but... I feel like that's
still not enough to make him go crazy, or he's holding back. Not sure. Kilala ko
lang talaga si Heidden sa mga aksyon, he got crazy once and that was with our
schoolmate way back in elementary 'til highschool. She was a huge fan girl of our
soccer team for years, highschool graduation when she left and we never heard
anything about her anymore. Isang taon mula noon, may narinig kaming namatay raw
iyon sa cancer.

Ngumisi lang si Heidden.

"Anyway, if you need some company. I can assist you." I volunteered.

"Wow! A COO? Really?" he said mockingly.

I laughed. "There's nothing wrong to be a driver, though."

"Tss, I think I know your deal now." He smirked. I just shrugged simply. "I don't
want you to be like me with full of headaches about this Carlos with Villareal
blood."

We both laughed.

"You met her cousin, sino roon?" .

He knows me too well.

"Oh, the new one. I know Capriana and the royal twins already." I laughed lightly.

He puckered his lips. "New one? Hmm, I guess the Miramontes? Siya 'yong malayo, e."

"Sileas..." there's the beautiful name.

Miramontes is huge and high level, no wonder that she came from that family. I
chuckled inwardly, is she a future lawyer, too? Hmm.

He nodded in awe. "Good luck, then."

Kinabahan naman ako sa hindi malamang dahilan, nilingon ko siya. "Mahirap ba, sa
tingin mo?"

"Depende sa pakay mo, Arlow." Halakhak niya. "Girls like her will never be included
in your harem. Pamilya agad ang haharang sayo bago makalapit."
"Based on experience?" tawa ko.

He shook his head. "Patch' parents aren't that strict. But yeah, her cousins are
difficult to deal with. Ano pa kaya 'yong mga Miramontes?"

Hindi nga siya nagkamali sa sinabi, depende sa pakay... Sileas is a snob with a
class because she has reasons why, kaya nakakatakot kausapin at mahirap kunin ang
loob kahit sa pakikipagkaibigan lang. She's a freakin' advanced thinker! Pero alam
ko namang dahil masyado rin siyang naniniwala sa sinasabi ni Patch tungkol sa akin.

I wouldn't deny how Patch sees me, I was really a playboy but I'm not a total
heartbreaker. I know when to get serious.

To make the story short, I know who I want to be serious with. Since the first time
I had a small talk with Sileas, the night Heidden asked me to be a driver—after
Tita Yslah's celebration, I know she has every possibility to change my choice into
something better. It was like, I would be willing to choose the good ones. Of
course, without her knowing that sudden fact when I talked to her.

Lalo pa nang mag Holidays Season, mabuti na lang at alam ni Heidden kung saan ang
mga Villareal kaya iyon ang pinilit niya sa aming lugar para sa holidays. Hindi ko
na kinailangan pang mag-suggest para roon din kami, napadali ni Heidden.

Just like that, nagkabalikan na ulit sila ni Patch. Marupok din si gago, wala raw
siyang pakealam pero sinundan noong nakaraan sa club para kausapin!

"Oh my, God! Ang ganda mo!" tili ng ilang dalagitang babae nang makita si Austrid
habang naglalakad kami sa beach at naghahanap ng mapupuwestuhan para sa volleyball
game.

"Puwedeng papicture? Idol ka po talaga namin!"

They're wearing a pair of bikinis, halos lahat naman dito. Ngumiti si Austrid at
pinahawak ang bolang hawak niya kay Heilder na umismid pero hinawakan naman iyon.

"Sure! Sure!" Austrid motioned me to take the girl's cell phone, naging
photographer pa nga.

The girls giggled when I took the cell phone, i just smiled. Lumalayo na si Heilder
kasama sila Racksle at Nyxinea habang si Heidden naman ang nakahanap ng maluwag na
espasyo para sa paglalaruan. Nakita ko rin ang pagtakbo ni Nyxinea, Nam is one of
her friends. Nandito rin sila ngayon.

"Arlow!" tawag ni Austrid.

Ngumiwi ako at kinuhanan sila ng litrato.

Binalik ko ang cell phone pagtapos ng ilang shots, tinanong pa ng babae iyong
pangalan ko kay Austrid kaya pinakilala ako. Wala sa akin iyon, hindi ko tipo ang
ganyan kabata. Hindi bagay sa edad ko. Nagpasalamat sila kay Austrid at sa akin
bago kami tuluyang lumapit kila Heilder, Heidden was playing the ball with his feet
while laughing at Racksle's topic.

"Austrid isn't that pretty in person unlike in television, she's just telegenic!"
Racksle mocked and Heidden laughed loudly.

"Ano!?" agad na puna ni Austrid pagkalapit.

Racksle shrugged. "Just telling the truth."

Nagpatuloy sila sa asaran hanggang sa magkapikunan at binato ng bola ni Austrid si
Racksle na tumawa lang, napailing ako at naupo na lamang sa lapag. Si Heidden
ginawang show iyong asaran ng magkapatid, tawa nang tawa at nakikisali pa.

"Racksle, umiingay lang," saway ni Heilder. "Let's just start the game and go back
to the villa."

"KJ," bulong-bulong ni Heid.

Racksle smirked and stepped away from Austrid, padabog na tumalikod iyon at
pinuntahan sila Nyxinea. They created two groups, kila Austrid ako napunta at sila
Heilder ay kay Nyxinea naman. Kasali sila Nam sa game at ilang kaibigan niya para
lang makabuo kami ng dalawang teams.

Basically, we were winning since Austrid can really carry a team inside her hand
and skills. Every spike she made was a point, she never misses a shot. That's how
good she is in this game, nang mapagod ako sa kalalaro ay naupo ako at nanuod na
lamang sa kanila. I'm not really a fan of sports since I started working at the
company, noong highschool ako ay soccer lang ang sport ko habang sila Heidden ay
sporty talaga.

Tumabi si Heid, naghahabol ng hininga at tatawa-tawa.

"Yeah! That was a good shot, Triddy!" he cheered Austrid while punching in the air.

"You're doing good, baby!" sigaw ng isang lalaki at paungol pa na agad naming
nilingon ni Heidden. Nagtatawanan silang magkakaibigan habang nakatingin sa katawan
ni Austrid na abala sa paglalaro.

Racksle quickly stopped playing and took steps towards the men's side to confront
them. Napatayo kami ni Heidden, siya ang agad lumapit.

"What's so funny, dudes?" Racksle asked in a baritone.

"Racksle!" agad na awat ni Nyxinea at hinila sa braso iyon.

"Dude, what?" the other guy asked. "This is a public place!"

Lumapit na rin ako para hilahin si Racksle at pakalmahin, Heidden also confronted
the guys. Sinaway na agad ako ni Nyxinea at hinawakan din sa braso para sabay-sabay
kaming lumayo.

"Hindi namin kailangan ng bastos na audience! We can let you watch but shut your
arousals, this is a public place. Be fucking ashamed for having boners while
watching a simple game! Fucking cheap assholes!" I heard Heidden's controlled
voice.

Heilder pulled his brother out with a warning look at the rude guys.

"Fuck you!" sigaw ng isa na nang-aasar pa.

I gritted my teeth and glared at the man, I raised my middle finger. Hahanapin ko
mamaya 'yang mga mukhang iyan.

Humalakhak si Heidden kahit nakatalikod na at hila ni Heilder. "Oh, I'm not a dick
sucker like you! Find your balls!"

"Shut up, Heidden," saway ni Heilder.

"Tss, you're being a coward, Kuya. We should've punched them!"

"Being violent isn't a sign of braveness. We can't fix assholes by punching them,
magsasayang ka lang ng oras."

"But breaking their faces can make them regret."

Heilder smirked. "Then, you're being one of them."

Austrid looked worried as she approached us, instead of staying and playing—we
changed place.

Hindi talaga maiiwasan ang mga ganoong klaseng tao, lalo na sa pampublikong lugar.
Iyon talaga ang ayaw na ayaw ko, noon madalas akong mapaaway dahil kay Patch at
Nyxinea tuwing lumalabas kami. Natutunan ko ring kumalma at hindi na paabutin sa
suntukan dahil sa huli ay nanghihina ako at sinisisi ang sarili, Mama was always
having an attack everytime she sees me with a bruise. The only thing I've been
avoiding in my whole life, I don't wanna see her panting and crying because of me
or Nyxinea. Natatakot ako parati, Mama has a mental illness and I don't wanna risk
it.

Hindi naman nasira nang tuluyan ang araw namin dahil nagpatuloy ang laro, Nam was
clinging on me while watching the volleyball game.

"Any plan for tonight?"

I shook my head. She smiled seductively, I know that look.

"And no plan on hooking up here, too..." I whispered with a chuckle.

I'm here for a vacation... isa pa, masyado akong abala kung paano uutuin si Heidden
na isama ako parati para makita ko si Sileas. Magkasama naman sila lagi ni Patch
kaya hindi malabo iyon, they had a lunch in our villa when they arrived here so a
next time wouldn't be impossible. I wanna know her more, medyo tagilid na nga siya
sa akin noong una dahil madaling maniwala sa pinsan niya.

I mean, there's nothing wrong to trust her cousin but can't she consider to know me
before judging me like a total jerk? By the way, I texted her earlier today and
invited her to walk around. She didn't say yes but I'm hoping, sabi ko nga ayaw
kong umasa pero sige... aasa ako ngayon.

She growled in defeat, tumawa ako at napalingon din kay Heidden nang marinig ko ang
sipol niya. He pouted his lips to point somewhere, kunot noo kong sinundan ng
tingin ang tinuturo niya.

I saw Sileas in her sundress; standing there and to my surprise, I could feel her
eyes on me even meters away. I got nervous for some unexplainable reason. However,
she yawned and looked away simply that made me feel I was just assuming things. She
was shining in my eyes as if everything else around turned blurry, she's just the
only one who stands out effortlessly. She's really beautiful and I couldn't resist
it.

Tumayo ako para lapitan siya kaso wala pa man ako sa kalahati ay nakita kong
naglakad siya palayo, para akong tangang sumunod doon dahil sa isip kong asado ay
nagseselos siya sa nakita. Yes, that's how assuming I am.

I followed her to know her more, kahit napapahiya na ako ay pinilit ko pa ring
makausap siya. Sa pagtagal ng pag-uusap namin ay doon ko natantong hindi talaga
nakakatuwa ang persepsyon niya sa buhay pero kalaunan akong naliwanagan kung bakit
siya ganoon.

She has everything, she's so rich and she could get anything in just a snap of her
fingers but she's still incomplete. The truth is, she's lonely. Kahit nasa loob
siya ng marangyang pamilya ay hindi noon matatabunan ang mga mata niyang malungkot.

"Papa, I want a project in Davao," I said in the middle of our family dinner.

"Arlow, that's far."

"Mas malayo ang New York at Germany, Mama." I smiled at her and brought my eyes
back to Papa who's already looking at me seriously. I shrugged simply. "Well, I did
some proposal and I'm ready to face the boards for that."

Well, I researched about the place and made a proposal right after we went home
days ago. I really want a base in Davao so I can reach Sileas. Malabo yatang
bumalik siya ng Manila pag-uwi niya ng Davao ulit dahil balik klase na sa susunod
na buwan.

Papa raised a brow. "What's in Davao?"

"I'm just bored and it's not a bad idea to hold a business there since the place
has a lot of beautiful spots."

Oh, shit. My fucking clumsy tongue.

Kumunot ang noo ni Papa, hindi makapaniwala sa sinabi ko. "You're bored? So Davao
can fill your boredom? It's not a business, Arlow, tell me about it."

I didn't talk, tumitig lang ako sa kanya at nakinig. Kunot ang noo ni Mama at
Nyxinea sa akin, hindi rin yata inasahan ang nasabi kong katangahan. Proposing a
big project isn't a joke, I know!

"Presenting a project with that excuse will never be approved by the boards, are
you out of your mind?"

I took a deep breath. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to say it that way. All I want is a
project in Davao, I want to run a hotel there."

Mama gasped but didn't protest. Papa just looked at me. The dinner resumed when
Mama nodded at Papa with a sweet smile, huminga ako ng malalim at inayos ang
kuwelyo ng damit na pakiramdam ko ay sinasakal ako sa nerbyos.

I don't usually suggest alone, sa meetings madalas akong taga pakinig lang at taga
apruba kaya nakakabigla nga naman itong kagustuhan ko dahil lang sa boredom. I just
can't tell them my real reason, besides I won't fail it. They only need to trust
me.

Among Estrevillos; Papa's generation, he was the business holder—he was raised to
be a future CEO of Estrevillos while Tito Rocket was for Folloscos agencies, Lola's
family side and Tito Shield inherited one of the biggest farms in Cebu from the
great grandparents that merged with dos Santos and now the most powerful and
wealthiest hacienda in Cebu. Tito Matrix being himself is the only one who didn't
step on their fields to be different, he's the richest investor in Estrevillo and
Cojuangco companies while serving people in the hospital as a surgeon. He was once
a candidate of hospital directors but turned it down because he doesn't wanna be a
leader, ayaw daw niya ng sakit sa ulo.
"Hey, project maker!" asar ni Heidden sa akin.

Inismiran ko siya, tsismoso talaga. Naglipat ng tingin sa akin ang mga pinsan at
ilang kaibigan na nakarinig.

"Project maker?" natatawang ani Racksle.

Heidden smirked and sat down.

"New project?" usisa ni Heilder, binaba ang cell phone sa lamesa.

"That's nothing—" I was cut off.

"Oh, my bad. I meant, new prospect!" halakhak ni Heidden sa makahulugang sinabi.

I glared. "Shut up, moron!"

Heilder drew a sigh and shook his head while Racksle was laughing and Pyrex put his
airpods on, continued reading his book.

"Prospect?"

Shit. "Huwag niyong pansinin 'yan."

"Okay, so... Davao?" si Heilder. "What's your proposal?"

I shrugged normally. "Well, we don't have much hotels there. Dinarayo rin naman ng
mga turista iyon kaya maganda ring magdagdag tayo. Wala namang masama roon."

Heilder nodded a bit, Racksle just shrugged and motioned me to decide for that.
Kitang-kita ko ang pang-aasar sa mukha ni Heidden.

"I'm in!" aniya.

"We're all in, Arlow's lead." Tawa ni Racksle. "I wanna meet Miss Davao!"

"Does Tito know about the project?"

Ngumisi ako. Nakausap ko na si Papa kasama ang board members, of course I changed
my terms to be reasonable in front of them. They were all awed by my proposal.

"That's good, what do you need?" Heilder asked.

I looked at them and grinned. "Support."

Sa aming magpipinsan, si Pyrex ang pinakabata at siya rin ang walang pakealam sa
business namin dahil malayo naman ang larangang kinuha niya gaya rin sa ama.
Racksle and I were Entrepreneurship graduate while Heilder and Heidden are in the
field of Architecture and Engineering. Though, Heilder's recently running their
agricultural farm with Tito Shield.

I thought and expected that it would be easy for my plan but it was not and I think
that was the biggest challenge I have ever had. Davao was surely nice because
there's Sileas, I was really happy getting to know her each day.

But... no, there were buts with disappointment.

Sileas might look sophisticated and high maintenanced but she's disappointing in
many ways as I get to know her. Honestly talking, I don't like her air and
perception in life. It was so high to the point she thinks nobody would deserve her
in any aspect.

Kahit ganoon, nagpatuloy pa rin ako. Wala, e. Nakakadisappoint siya pero nakakaadik
din, hindi ko maintindihan ang sarili. Ayaw ko naman talaga sa immature na babae
dahil ang hirap paliwanagan, gaya niya. Her flaws are undeniably addicting, I have
been so disappointed many times but it wasn't enough to stop me from pursuing her.

"Sileas, hindi naman puwedeng parati kang tama. We are having this argument because
you did something wrong, alright?" iritado kong sinabi. "I'm not just making my
point for nothing, it's nonsense!"

Bawat araw, hindi nawawalan ng oras na naiirita ako sa ugali niya dahil sa mga
punto niyang selfish.

"So you want me to change my likes, huh? I wasn't born to be treated like this,
Chancent. You're courting me! Dapat nga nagpapakitang gilas ka, hindi iyong kung
saan-saan lang."

I don't know what's with her voice, it was formal and Calm—yet very demanding and
dramatic. This is just one of our arguments this year, sanay naman na ako sa mga
drama niya. Unti-unti ko lang namang sinusubukang turuan siyang maging simple, I
know I shouldn't do that but I want her to see the sides of life that it would
never run around money and riches like how she wants it to work for us.

I'm not a freaking fan of fancy and luxurious things, we're really different in so
many ways that I had a second thought about us—about her. There were times, I
wanted to just give it up because I think we would never really work out like this.
It was tiring to explain a lot of things but she never listens.

"You have a new driver?"

"Uh, yes... Mommy fired the last one."

"Really? What was his reason, if you don't mind me asking."

Bakit kaya? Mabait naman iyong driver niya. Hindi lang siya nasundo pero baka may
excuse naman kaya bakit tinanggal pa? May mas mabigat bang dahilan?

She shrugged. "My brother said that he had an emergency call, his son got into an
accident."

"Isn't that enough excuse?" I asked in disbelief.

That was reasonable! Why would they fire him?

"Mommy's decision. She doesn't care about it and I think, he kinda deserved it. He
could reply or answer my call to tell that, baka napagbigyan ko pa siya kaso wala.
He made me wait, he ignored me."

My forehead creased in disappointment. Here we go again, I can't believe her! What

the hell was that? Paano pa makakatawag at makakapagtext iyon sa gitna ng
pangyayari? Jesus! His son got into an accident! Sinong ama pa ang makakaisip ng
iba bukod sa nangyari sa anak niya? Damn it.

"Besides, he can find another boss. I just didn't really like what he did even with
that excuse, he should've informed me para hindi ako naghintay doon!" she was
frowning.
What are you saying, baby? My frustration mind says and I was so fucking lost.
Please, don't add more disappointing reasons!

I sighed heavily. "Don't you think it's cruel? His son is in the hospital and he
lost his job for worrying and running to know his son's condition?"

"Well, hindi na mawawala sa isip ko ang nangyari. It wouldn't be erased in my mind

that he failed me already, I can have a new driver. Giving second chances isn't my
thing." She shook her head simply.

Okay, fuck, what?

I clenched my jaw. She's so unfair and unreasonable... it was an evil move and
decision, to be honest. Hindi ko alam kung bakit ako mismo ang nasasaktan para sa
driver niya, ang sakit noon sa pakiramdam.

"Are you busy?" she asked softly when I went silent.

"Why?" wala lang talaga akong masabi, masyado akong disappointed sa lahat ng
pinagsasabi niya.

Nakakaturn-off, hindi ko alam kung saan ulit huhugot ng kagustuhang isalba ang
nararamdaman ko para sa kanya. Wala ba siyang balak magmulat ng mga mata? Wala ba
siyang balak magbago kahit sa ganitong bagay lang?

She smiled. Holy fuck, don't be trapped, Chancent! That was only a smile!

"I'll go out to buy things."

I didn't look at her, I pretended busy with my papers. Fuck, I'm so disappointed
but her smile was melting the fire within me. Tangina, ang hirap namang mabaliw sa
kanya. Parang laban o bawi parati ang konsepto ng sitwasyon ko.

"Samahan kita?" tahimik kong boluntaryo kahit labag sa kalooban.

"If you're not busy!"

"I'm a bit busy but I can free my time for you," which is really true, I will free
my time for her. Ngayon lang ako medyo wala sa hulog dahil sa dismaya.

Ayaw ko sa ugali ni Sileas, ilang beses ko nang sinasabi iyon sa sarili ko pero
wala naman akong laban kapag ngumingiti at naglalambing na siya. I always get
mesmerized and that's my serious addiction, it was like a disease with no cure.

"You're courting Sileas?" iyon ang bungad ni Patch sa akin nang isang beses akong
umuwi sa Makati at nagkita kami sa gathering ng pamilya.

I smiled cheekily. "Yup, shocking news?"

Her eyes widened, napasimsim siya sa inumin niya.

"Bakit siya pa, Chancent? Ang dami-daming babaeng puwede riyan, bakit pinsan ko pa
talaga?"

Is that even a question? Damn, why Sileas? I can't answer that much but I think
because she's Sileas, herself. Or... better answer would be; she makes my heart
thump real bad.

"Patch, don't worry too much. I won't hurt her." I chuckled. Totoo rin naman pero
hindi ko talaga makuha ang hinaing ni Patch tungkol sa akin.

Wala naman akong pinakitang masama sa kanya, bakit ganito na lang ang pandidiri
niya na nililigawan ko ang pinsan niya?

"Give it up, Chance! Pinapaasa ka lang niya, bawal pa iyong magnobyo dahil sa
striktong pamilya niya kaya sa iba ka na lang."

Tinitigan ko lang siya, naguguluhan sa mga mata niyang tila nagmamakaawang sundin
ko ang sinabi niya pero sino ba siya? She can't dictate and manipulate what I want
to do.

I smirked and ignored the sadness in her eyes. "Kung aasa man ako, wala ka na roon,
Patch."

Minsan naiirita rin ako sa kanya, it's been almost a year since she broke up with
Heidden and yet she still has the face to be with us every gathering. Hindi na nga
sumasama si Heidden para lang iwasan siya at makapagsaya pa rin kasama ang mga
Estrevillo. Isa pa si Nyxinea, mas kinikilingan pa iyong matalik na kaibigan kaysa
sa nararamdaman ni Heidden.

Though, I know for sure that he has moved on. Madali namang makaahon iyon sa isang
bagay dahil abala sa trabaho, we've been staying in Davao for the project and he's
not that dramatic about it. Ang tagal na noon, pagtatawanan ko siya kung hindi pa
rin siya nakakamove on kay Patch.

"How's the project, Arlow?" Papa asked.

Sinulyapan ko siya sa screen ng Macbook, sa gilid ng aking mga mata ay nakita kong
abala si Sileas sa pagkain ng burger habang nagbabasa. We're inside the usual cafe,
near the site.

"I'm doing well, Papa," I answered quietly while peaking on Sileas in front of me—
she was so busy with her paper works.

I saw his eyes narrow while looking at me.

"Sa project o sa panliligaw?" he smirked evilly.

My eyes widened a bit, guilty akong nag-iwas ng tingin kay Sileas. "Pa, I'm doing
well here! I mean, sa project. I'm working hard. Stop asking questions."

Humalakhak siya. "May mali ba sa tanong ko?"

I scratched my left brow gently, problematic. Dinaldal na naman siguro nila Racksle
ang ginagawa ko rito habang nagtatrabaho. Napakatsismoso talaga ng mga lalaking
iyon. Minsan napapaisip ako kung bakit hindi na lang sila naging reporter para
kahit papaano ay konektado sa katauhan nila ang larangan.

"You're old enough to decide, it's between game or something serious. This time, I
don't know what you're up to but I knew that project wasn't in your plan. I
wouldn't stop you but know the limit, son." He sighed softly. "You've been out of
the bound, that project is yours to begin with, right? Bakit ikaw iyong nawawala sa
radar?"

Nagbuntong-hininga ako, nahiya sa sariling gawain. I've been really busy pursuing
Sileas that I didn't get to see my situation. Masyado akong naging bulag para sa
sarili, mas natutuunan ko ng pansin kung paano amuin si Sileas. Napapabayaan ko ang
sariling layuning ako naman ang mismong gumawa.
I nodded. "I'll do well..."

"If you can't manage the project alone, call me. Kung may mga tanong ka, huwag kang
mahiyang lumapit sa may kaalaman. That project will be one of your sources in the
future, Arlow. Don't take easy on it."

I looked at Sileas, she was so busy reviewing and I can see how tired she is. Hindi
siya nakakatulog ng maayos dahil iniisip ang pagpasa sa exam, medyo bumagsak din
ang timbang niya sa ilang linggo lamang dahil hindi kumakain ng tama.

I know it's toxicity to tell that I can provide everything for her in the future,
she doesn't need to study so hard but I couldn't help thinking about the future
with her. Kasi nakikita ko namang siya ang gusto ko, sa kanya ay may mga plano
ako... pero wala naman pala talagang kasiguraduhan kahit nakaplano na ang lahat
para sa kinabukasan.

Sabi nila kapag nakikita mo raw ang future mo sa mga mata ng taong mahal mo ay siya
na hanggang huli. Tangina, hindi naman pala ganoon kadaling asahan iyon dahil haka-
haka lang talaga!

I completely knew Sileas Pallavi Villareal, she's been struggling for almost half
of her life inside their high-class family of lawyers. She was never free, she was
manipulated and instructed to be like them, to dovetail and follow the steps of
every Miramontes.

Each truth I learned while getting to know her have been my weaknesses because it
was hurting and frustrating me, every fact of her was versed and should be
invariably correct to fit in.

I shouldn't be saying this but she was raised wrongly, she was raised with
manipulation that made her bad. Hindi na siya sumasaya sa sariling pamumuhay kahit
lahat ay nakakamtan niya sa isang pitik lang. Sileas has a soft spot but will never
be tamed unless she moved out of their household and control.

Iyon ang gusto kong gawin, iyon ang plano ko kaya gusto kong pagbutihin ang trabaho
ko at hindi masabon ni Papa. He was never a fan of failure, too, but unlike
Miramontes with evil tongues—he was raised with good and encouraging words, he's my
mentor.

"How is it going?" Heidden asked as he sat down in front of me.

Huminga ako ng malalim at sinandal ang likuran sa swivel chair habang niluluwagan
ang aking tie. "We're dating."

"Oh, too hard to get, huh?" he smirked. "It's good, though. You are so challenged."

Umismid ako. "Man, she's confusing as Patch."

Mas malala nga lang si Sileas dahil siya ang nakakasama ko talaga at nakikilala pa,
even when she failed my likes so many times—she's still making me feel dazed. She's
still giving me butterflies that I didn't expect real, she's one of a kind and her
smile... damn, I'm whipped.

"I think, that runs in the blood?" he raised a brow and chuckled.

"She doesn't want me to court her in a decent way."

Sa totoo lang, gusto kong maging formal sa mga Placido lalo na sa mommy niya dahil
alam kong matalas ang dila noon at mas mabuti kung may alam na siya tungkol sa
relasyon ko sa anak niya. Also, I want her to see that I can catch Sileas even
through the downfall. I already have everything to provide for the future, kaya
kahit ano pang hina ni Sileas sa eskuwela, tanggap ko siya at kayang saluhin gamit
ang sarili kong kapangyarihan. She can be a Queen in our own place without hurtful
judgements.

"Decent way? Why? Are you dating her in a motel?"

Gago talaga 'to!

I glared at him.

"Gago! Hindi, what I mean is, she doesn't want to introduce myself as a suitor to
her family so they'd be informed. That's the right way, right?"

Damn, I can't believe I'm asking these things. I don't even think that's necessary!
Basta gusto ko lang ay laging tama para kay Sileas, iyong tipong hindi siya
magsisisi na ako ang pinili.

Heidden nodded and shrugged cooly. "For me, it's not necessary. We're not living in
80's anymore, let her decide when she wants to introduce you. Parang hindi mo naman
kilala ang pamilya niya, maybe she doesn't want it yet because she thinks her
family would not approve."

He's right, I know but... fuck. I just want us to start in a right way kasi para
lang siyang nag-iipon ng apoy sa kamay niya at pakakawalan iyon kapag sila na mismo
ang nagsindi. Mas malala lang ang balik kapag sila mismo ang nakaalam at hindi mula
kay Sileas, I don't wanna put her in that situation where she would only choose to
follow her Mom's rule and I'd be none of her choices. Natatakot ako na wala ako sa
pagpipilian niya at isasawalang bahala kapag inutos ng pamilya.

Months passed and I got already used to everything, to her attitude and flaws—those
were the things I learned to admire deliberately that one by one was slowly
changing into better means of Sileas. She's getting souped up and her improvements
make her more desirable.

Our relationship began and I let it flow the way how she wants it for us, I can't
do anything and I didn't wanna force her. Fortunately, it expanded into something
more that I got so sure of everything. I would keep her, that was a promise to
myself because I will only love Sileas—she was the first one who made me tremble in
frustration and forlornness like this.

"Mama, I'm sorry. I want to stay here until the project is done."

Mama sobbed. "Please, go home, Arlow. I had a dream of losing you and I'm scared
that something might happen to you there!"

I gasped and bowed my head grievously.

"Okay, Ma... I'll be home tomorrow. Huwag ka na umiyak at mag-alala, please?"

She stopped her sobs. "Alright, thank you, anak."

Ang hirap ng sitwasyon minsan, madalas kasing inaatake si Mama kapag wala ako kaya
simula noon pa man ay ayaw kong lumalayo sa kanila nang matagal. Hetong sa Davao
lang ako naging masyadong abala kaya hindi ko naiisip si Mama at nakakaguilty iyon.

I went home as what I promised Mama, hindi rin naman ako nagtatagal at kinakausap
ko siya ng maayos para hindi rin mag-alala sa akin masyado. That was my routine,
kumpara sa New York ay mas malapit naman ang Davao para umuwi-uwi sa amin at
puntahan si Mama upang maibsan ang pangungulila niya. Pasaway din kasi si Ate,
hindi umuuwi sa amin kaya lalong inaatake si Mama ng anxiety.

"Patch likes you," Heidden informed after the meeting we had with the boards in
Makati.

Kunot noo ko siyang nilingon, natatawa ako dahil hindi ako naniniwala roon.

"Are you fucking kidding me?"

Ayaw na ayaw sa akin ni Patch at kung totoo man iyan, wala naman akong pake. It's
not like I forced her to like me, ang ayaw ko lang ay baka kung anong maisip ni
Heidden. We were all raised and cultivated to be companions and I don't want us to
fall apart or have some misunderstanding just because of a woman. That's not our
tea.

Ex pa naman niya iyon, ako pa yata ang dahilan.

He shrugs. "She confessed it, I don't really care about it. I just wanna inform you
so you could avoid a probable issue between your relationship with Pallavi."

Lalong kumunot ang noo ko. He doesn't look bothered at all and that was so
unexpected, it was like he grew into more mature man without bitterness. Concerned
lang siya.

"They're cousins, you know..." he shrugged again. "It has a thicker side than a
boyfriend."

Kabado ako sa kaalamang iyon. I know how close they are as cousins and best friends
in one, ano ba kasing kahibangan ang mayroon si Patch at nagkagusto bigla sa akin?
Heidden's more better than me! Maraming nagsasabi noon kaya nakakataka namang mas
pipiliin niya pa ang nararamdaman sa akin kaysa kay Heid.

"Kailan mo pa alam?"

Natawa siya. "Matagal na, actually."

"What do you mean?" I clenched my jaw at the realization. "That was cheating!"

"Hindi ka naman hinalikan habang kami pa."

"You're a total stupid then, if you already knew that, why did you stay with her!?"
iritado kong sinabi, nahinto na ako sa paglalakad sa hallway at hindi
makapaniwalang tiningnan siya.

Hindi siya huminto sa paglalakad pero bumagal iyon at humarap sa akin habang
nakangisi. "Mahal ko?"

I gasped in disbelief. "I don't believe that shit!"

He laughed and walked away with a hand wave. "See you in Davao."

That year has been a roller coaster ride... for me. I was fucking carrying a bunch
of problems. My relationship with my family, projects and Sileas issues, she has so
many issues that I didn't want to fire more by my damnshits. We were always
fighting over little things, madalas siyang magselos kapag umuuwi ako sa Manila
kaya kahit saan ay problemado ako. Of course, my Mom wants to also see me.
It was exhausting to work, back and forth, then Sileas would start a fight
unreasonably... it came out like a routine of my life without a permanent address.
I couldn't understand her but I was trying to be more understanding and patient
since it was reasonable that she's young and still immature.

Naiirita ako kapag nakikita ko siyang umiiyak, lalo na kapag ang dahilan lang naman
ay ang mga grado niya.

"Hindi mo kasi ako naiintindihan, e! I can't just fail my subjects!"

Suminghap ako, hindi ako makapagsalita dahil patuloy siya sa pag iyak at panunumbat
sa akin. Oo, siguro hindi ko nga naiintindihan dahil hindi ako bumagsak noon sa
pag-aaral pero hindi rin naman yata tamang isipin niyang wala siyang kuwentang anak
dahil doon.

It's always hurting me, to think that she completes me? How could she think of
herself as worthless daughter for that reason? It's just fucking grades that can be
pulled from drowning, how about her mental health? Her emotions? Hindi niya ba
iniisip ang sarili niya? I witnessed how she studied and worked hard for that, she
failed for a reason—not because she didn't try harder because I know that she did!

Ang dami kong gustong sabihin at isagot sa kanya pero hindi ko magawa dahil umiiyak
siya at ayaw kong dagdagan pa ang sama ng loob niya. Her mental health is more
important than mine, I should just hold this back and let her unleash her ill
feelings.

Sige, isumbat mo lang lahat sa akin at sa relasyon natin pero walang hiwalayan,
Sileas. Ayaw ko noon.

She looked at me straightly and my heart was already shattering into pieces.

"I don't want this relationship anymore! I think this is the reason why I'm
failing!"

My blood boiled up as my eyes heated. Tangina, bakit ba laging relasyon namin ang
nasisisi? Wala ba siyang ibang makitang dahilan? Tapos makikipagbreak siya? Anong
kinalaman ko sa grades niya, bakit ako ang sasaktan niya?

"Napapagod na rin ako, ayaw ko na. Nakakatamad na 'to, Chancent!" she cried.

I wanted to cry but I forced not to, instead of minding everything she said—I just
ignored it and apologized for being immature and for being a jerk.

"I'm sorry, baby..." I said apologetically while reaching for her cheeks to wipe
the tears. "Alright, magtatrabaho na lang muna ako. Huwag na muna tayong magkita at
hahayaan kitang mag-aral."

Ako naman palagi, ako na lang ang problema. Kagustuhan niya lang naman ang parating
nasusunod, e. Wala akong boses sa relasyon at iyon ang frustrations ko sa ilang
buwan. I was a slave of this woman and it wasn't right. I should do something...
but in the end? I said fucking nothing.

Honestly, it was the most exhausting relationship I've had. It was the most
immature and toxic. Alam ko naman, ako lang kasi iyong parating nagpaparaya at
umiintindi. Pasabi-sabi pa ako noon na hindi tama ang pagpapalaki sa kanya pero
heto ako, isa sa mga taong kumukunsinte sa immaturity at selfishness niya.

Tangina naman kasi, kung hindi ko lang siya mahal—hindi naman ako magtatagal sa
ganyang ugali ng tao. Hindi ako magpapakatangang umintindi parati kahit mali na.
Ang sama sa loob ng lahat pero ayaw ko pa rin namang tigilan.

I've been so fucking frustrated inside our relationship but I want this to last so
I'll fight for it.

"Chancent, can we talk?" iyon ang panglimang beses ng pagsubok ni Patch na kausapin
ako pero hindi ko pinansin dahil ayaw kong magkaroon ng issue si Sileas.

"I have no time to talk, I'm sorry."

Patch was teary eyed as she walked faster to stand in front of me. "Please, Chance.
Pagbigyan mo naman ako kahit sandali. I just wanna tell something important and I
think, you deserve to know it."

I inhaled and tilted my head. "What? That you have feelings for me?"

Her eyes widened shockingly, nagtuluan ang mga luha niya. I wouldn't deny that I
care for her but only as a sister, a friend. Ayaw ko ring iiyak siya dahil sa akin,
siyempre, dahil hindi tama. Bukod sa wala akong espesyal na nararamdaman sa kanya
ay mahal na mahal ko ang pinsan niya at ayaw kong magkaroon ng apoy sa pagitan
nila.

I smiled slightly. "You will get over it, I'm sorry but I'm not the man for you and
I have Sileas. I don't wanna create anything between you two, I hope you
understand. Let's just stay friends or if you can't, strangers."

Her jaw dropped while staring at me with tears, napahikbi siya kaya nilampasan ko
na siya para makaalis nang tuluyan.

Patch is already getting into my nerves, sumunod pa talaga siya sa Davao para lang
kausapin ako. Ang nakakairita lalo ay alam niyang kami ni Sileas pero parang wala
iyon sa kanya. Mabuti nga at nakikisama pa rin si Sileas kahit batid kong
nakakahalata na siya sa akto ni Patch.

It really created an issue between me and Sileas... I was so confused and nervous
when I came back to Davao because Sileas has been ignoring me, her cell phone was
off and I couldn't contact her. Pinilit ko talagang bumalik ng Davao kahit na nasa
ospital si Mama para lang malaman kung kumusta siya at kung ayos lang siya.

Ang daming gumugulo sa isip ko habang nasa biyahe pabalik at panay ang utos ko kay
Heidden na puntahan si Sileas pero hindi yata siya mahilig magbukas ng cell phone.
Iritadong-iritado ako at hindi mapakali hanggang sa maihatid ako nila Nyxinea sa
airport at hindi pa nga ako nakapagpaalam sa kanila nang maayos, tinawagan ko si
Racksle kanina habang nasa biyahe kami pa-airport at nasabi naman niyang nakita
niya si Sileas na kasama ni Heidden.

I trust Heidden so much as my best friend and a cousin. I trust him more than
Racksle and Heilder kaya wala akong problema kung magkasama man sila ni Sileas sa
isang lugar. Alam kong hindi siya gagawa ng ikasisira namin sa kahit anong anggulo.

Nagmamadali akong tumungo sa site at halos takbuhin ko ang office para lang makita
si Sileas dahil sa sobrang pag-aalala ko, nakita ko pa sila Heilder at Racksle na
papasok din sa office. Mukhang kararating lang din nila mula sa meeting, nauna
silang nakapagbukas ng pinto at mabilis din akong nakasunod.

My excitement immediately died as my heart.

"What the fuck, Heidden?" it was Heilder's stern voice.

I saw Sileas and Heidden immediately, kissing. It wasn't literally kissing but it's
still a kiss, kumalas si Sileas na namumula ang mukha at napatingin sa amin pero
iwas sa akin.

My heart shattered when I saw how determined she was to do that, ilang segundo ay
tumingin pa siya sa akin na walang kahit anong pagsisisi sa mga mata. I clenched my
jaw, nagdidilim ang paningin ko at agad tiningnan si Heidden kahit tiwala akong
wala siyang kasalanan.

Umaasa ako... sana wala, sana hindi niya iyon ginusto.

Tangina, nahalikan niya ang girlfriend ko. Sobrang sakit sa pakiramdam noon, ang
sakit din sa isip kaya halu-halo na ang nararamdaman ko sa oras na iyon. Hindi ko
magawang saktan si Heidden dahil hindi madadaan ito sa ganoong paraan.

"Really, Heidden?" I asked sarcastically and madly.

He didn't talk but Sileas did all the heartbreaking lines to throw at me
heartlessly. Wala akong maintindihan sa oras na iyon dahil nabibingi ako sa sakit
na nararamdaman ko, bakit niya hinalikan si Heidden? Gusto niya ba ang pinsan ko?
Alam ko namang nagkakausap din sila kahit papaano pero hindi ko inaasahan ang
ganitong pangyayari dahil masyadong malayo sa kosepto ng isip ko.

I trust them both, or maybe trust blinded me? I don't know. Fuck. I will never like
the idea of Sileas and Heidden, hindi ko matatanggap kahit kailan.

"Now, you're informed. We're not together anymore, you have no right to be mad!
You're matured enough to understand what I said, right?" she smirked.

Tangina, ako na lang ba palagi ang matured? Ako na lang ba palagi ang iintindi
kahit nasasaktan ako? I can't fucking understand! I wish I was immature to be
insensitive about things, sana wala akong pake sa nararamdaman ng iba. Hindi sana
ako nasasaktan ngayon.

"Sileas!" I called her loudly. I'm fucking hurt, siya na ang nanakit, siya pa ang
nagmamalaki at mang-iiwan?

Don't I fucking deserve at least a short explanation? Tangina, ano pala?

Iintindihin ko na lang? Kunwari hindi ako nasaktan? Kunwari wala akong nakita?

I was too weak but I forced myself to pull her wrist, hawak pa lang ay napapaso na
ako. Parang ayaw ko siyang hawakan, galit ako sa kanya, e. Hindi tama iyong ginawa
niya, bakit kakausapin ko pa siya?

"Mag-usap tayo," I hissed and pulled her again.

Tangina naman, Chancent! Ganyan ka ba karupok at kahina na pinalaki ng mga magulang

mo? Buuin mo naman ulit ang pride mo kahit papaano.

She pushed me violently with a slap, it didn't hurt at all. Mas masakit pa rin ang
dibdib ko.

"Wala tayong dapat pag-usapan," matigas niyang sinabi.

Putangina talaga, bakit ang hirap sukuan ng babaeng 'to kahit ganito ang
pinaparamdam sa akin?

I was so mad but I couldn't hurt her. I will never do that.

"You fucking kissed my cousin, and you're the one who has the fucking guts to hurt
me even physically?" I asked in a controlled voice because even after all what I
witnessed, I don't wanna scare her. Ayaw kong magtaas ng boses at magpakitang galit
ako dahil alam kong natatakot na siya kahit wala pa man, kita iyon sa kanyang mga
mata.

She's guilty and scared.

Hindi naman ito maaayos sa galit na paraan, kailangan kong kumalma dahil baka may
problema lang siya o may nagawa akong kasalanan na hindi ko nalalaman kaya niya
nagawa iyon.

"Saktan mo rin ako, gumanti ka!" she shouted madly.

I gasped in disbelief, controlling my emotions. I'm so fucking lost. Ano bang

nagawa ko? O baka... nagkagusto na talaga siya sa iba?

"D-Do you like him?" I asked weakly.

No, please...

"You shouldn't care from now on, Chance... don't ever follow me, I wouldn't think
twice to hurt you again," malamig niyang sinabi bago ako iniwanan doon na basag at
nalilito.

Natulala ako roon, walang magawa kundi ang panoorin siya sa pag-alis. Sobrang
nakakapagod, nakakapagod mag-isip, nakakapagod malito at magtanong. I just feel so
empty while watching her running away from me until she was gone of my sight.

Maybe, I should let her go for my own betterment, too. Nakakapagod din maging
maintindihin, nakakaubos ng sariling huwisyo.

Sa kahinaan ko pagdating kay Sileas, umabot pa ako ng ilang araw roon para amuin
siya at makipag-usap pero hindi niya ako pinagbigyan kahit isang beses na lalong
kinasama ng loob ko. Hindi man ako maiyak, umiiyak naman ang kalooban ko. Doon na
ako umaksyon para sa sarili, I passed my project to Heilder because I couldn't do
better for now. I needed to rest, I had to collect myself again then I'll continue
my task.

Hindi ako puwedeng magmukmok, kailangan ko pa rin tulungan ang sarili kong makaahon
mula kay Sileas. Bakit ko ba siya parating iniisip? Ni isang kusing na concern nga
ay wala siya para sa akin!

A pair of knocks on the counter woke up my wandering mind while looking at my glass
of water, I lazily lifted my eyes to see who it was—Heidden, standing on the other
side of the aisle.

I sighed heavily and looked at the glass of water again, sa totoo lang ay wala
akong galit... iritasyon siguro, mayroon pero hindi malala kagaya ng inaasahan ko
kapag nagkrus ulit ang landas namin.

"What are you doing here?" I asked coldly.

"Checking on you. Aren't you gonna go back to Davao? Paano iyong project?"

He was acting up like nothing happened, huh!

"I wanna fucking smash your mouth," I said controllably. "Kung ayaw mo ng gulo,
umalis ka sa paningin ko."

Ang gago, umupo pa sa high chair at pumangalumbaba sa counter habang nakatingin sa

akin. Inipit niya ang mahabang buhok sa magkabilang tainga at bahagyang hinilamos
ang kamay sa kanyang labi pababa. He looked stressed and tired.

"So she didn't explain anything, huh?" he smirked. "Arlow, do you really think I'd
stoop down on that level and betray you? I didn't kiss her, kung gusto mo sige—" he
stood up and walked towards me with determination and probation. "Sapakin mo ako
pero malinis ang konsensya ko sa nangyari. I was innocent. I didn't even touch
her."

"Shut the fuck up and leave!" I growled loudly in irritation.

He didn't budge kaya lumabas ako ng dining area at pumunta sa sala pero sinundan pa
rin ako at iyon ang lalong kinainis ko. I was fast to pull his collar and shook him
angrily.

"Fuck off! Last warning!"

"A punch will make you feel better, go on!" he provoked, nilapit pa ang mukha sa
akin. "Come on, punch me!"

I clenched my fist and was about to throw a punch but I saw Tito Alcade approaching
the area, kunot noo nang makita ang ayos naming dalawa ni Heidden. Halos sakal-
sakal ko si Heidden sa kuwelyo pero hindi nanlalaban.

"What's your deal here, kids?" he asked sarcastically as he went closer while
looking at us coldly.

I clenched my jaw and pushed Heidden off, inayos niya ang kuwelyo at seryoso akong
tiningnan.

"See? You can't do it because you know me! I will never do that to you!" sumbat
niya, gigil at iritado na tila siya rin ay tinraydor ko.

My chest constricted.

Tito Alcade threw him a glance. "If you really wanna fight, you can do it outside.
You're acting like kids." He then walked upstairs.

Wala akong matapos na trabaho sa ilang linggo at mabuti na lang ay naroon si

Heilder sa Davao para saluhin ang ilang gawain at problema sa proyektong
pinapangunahan ko dapat. Papa never asked me why I left Davao, it was like he knew
me better and he trusts my time. Always.

Tangina, nakakamatay pala ng katinuan ang pag-ibig. Parang nau-ulol na ako sa

sariling pagtatanong kung anong nangyari, kung anong nagawa kong kasalanan at kung
bakit niya hinalikan si Heidden. Iyon ang nasa utak ko hanggang sa nakauwi ako sa
Manila at hindi ko alam kung saan mag-uumpisa.

"What's the matter between you and Dince?" Papa asked seriously when he called me
into the office, napansin na siguro ang iwas ko kay Heidden.

I sighed.

"Wala, Pa..."

Sileas actually created an unholy mess between me and Heidden but I'm not blaming
her, I'm blaming myself for being stupid. Tama si Heidden, hindi ko magawang saktan
siya dahil alam ko sa sarili kong wala siyang kasalanan doon at totoong si Sileas
ang humalik sa kanya. It's not that I didn't trust Sileas but I grew up knowing
Heidden, all my cousins—we will never betray each other.

"Mag-usap kayong dalawa, Arlow. Hindi n'yo maaayos ang alitan sa ganyang iwasan at
suntukan," pangaral ni Papa bago ako hinayaang umalis.

I just knew that Sileas has been struggling mentally and emotionally since I left
Davao, I didn't know what happened exactly but when I heard that she moved in
Manila—I knew that it was something serious. Something bad happened and I got
worried sick about her situation.

Hindi ako nagkamali roon dahil Papa niya mismo ang nilapitan ko para kausapin at
kumustahin siya dahil alam kong hindi ako kakausapin ni Sileas.

"She's doing fine, just a bit sad and lonely but she'll be fine here," Tito
Prudence said.

I just breathed and nodded.

"She defensively pushed her sister and caused a miscarriage, she was so scared and
stressed about it and called me to take her out of Davao because she doesn't wanna
be jailed. Inatake rin sa puso ang Lolo nila dahil sa argumento nila nang araw na
iyon." He shook his head distressingly. "She's been through a lot of mess. I hope
she'll find her peace here."

She's been through a lot of mess and suffering without anyone beside her, that
surely made her feel unloved and unwanted. It was so painful to think, dapat pala
hindi ako umalis doon at hinayaan ko na lang ang sakit. Sana hindi ko siya iniwan
mag-isa.

I sighed heavily while watching Mama and Papa on the kitchen counter, they were
talking and laughing while helping each other—preparing the dish for today.

I envy their relationship ever since I got to learn things around openly, I had
always been dreaming of that kind of love. I've been always wanting to feel it. It
feels eternal and undying... but I guess, it wasn't for me.

I heard a soft sigh that made me turn, Hermione Cojuangco Estrevillo suddenly
popped on the other couch and sat, near me. She's wearing a very classy dress with
collar and belt on, with a black hairband around her very down straight black hair
until her hips. She has a pair of black Gucci net gloves that she gently removed.

My brow arched. "Hey, Ione..."

She flashed a lazy smile. "Moana's requesting Troilus Villareal to be her escort on
her birthday. Can you talk to him for that?"

I titled my head while looking at her, she looked serious.

"Troilus?"

She nodded and avoided my eyes. "Yeah, the blind one. Troilus Eaves, right?"

"Oh, I don't have any contact with them." Ni wala akong balita sa kanila, si Patch
lang ang madalas kong makita dahil nakakasama pa rin ni Nyxinea.

"Sure you could find a way, or just give me his number—" she flinched irritably.
"How dare Moana invite a blind to be her escort? How is it possible? That foolish
girl."

Natawa ako. "Well, Troilus is a smart ass and way older than you—"

"Okay, lemme stop you there. He's not my type, it was clearly Moana's birthday
request."

I puckered my lips. "Alright, if you say so. Why don't talk to him, instead? They
have a place here."

"Not my cup of tea." She shook her head sassily.

I rolled my eyes and gasped. "Of course, you're just seventeen and that Troilus is
already twenty plus! I'll tell Tito Alcade about this, Hermione!"

Muli niyang sinuot ang net gloves at tumayo na may irap sa akin bago umalis, sakto
rin ang pagpasok ni Heilder at Pyrex na nakasalubong si Hermione. Sinundan ng
tingin iyon ni Heilder habang si Pyrex naman ang nagtanong kung saan ang punta
niya.

"Just somewhere without you guys."

Humalakhak ako. "Oh, she's probably going to Villareal's place and convince Troilus
to be an escort!"

Her eyes widened at me while Pyrex raised a brow at her.

"What again?"

Hermione glared but still composed. "And you believed him? I'm going home, Kuya."

"Villareal na naman? Type niya?" Heilder asked as he sat down on the sofa.

"Excuse me, he's blind! I don't wanna be a personal nanny of a disabled man!"

Pyrex brows furrowed in disappointment, napahilot siya sa batok at hinayaan ang

kapatid doon. Naupo na lamang sa couch at nagpakalma ng iritasyon.

"Stop there, Ione! That's mean!" Heilder hissed.

I flinched and raised my hands to give up the topic. That was surely an insult!

But she's just a kid. Hey, hey... here we go again about handling immature girls!
Naalala ko na naman siya.

It's been a years since Sileas turned down my proposal and we broke up completely
and mutually. Or... was it even mutual? Hindi ko naman gusto pero ginusto ko lang
para sa kanya.

Ang dami-dami kong naranasan na masasakit kay Sileas, sa pagmamahal ko sa kanya ay

hindi ko na iniisip ang sarili kong emosyon kahit ano pang nagawa niya. All I
wanted was to keep her but she was consumed by anger, pain and suffering.

I could remember how scared she was when she called me to fetch her one night, I
was worried as fuck while talking to her and keeping her sane. It was gruesome to
hear her wails and breaking down without me, ang sakit sa pakiramdam na wala akong
magawa para yakapin siya sa gitna ng kanyang pagkabasag.
Her tears and fear would be my death and devastation. It was so dreadful to see her
fearing the things around, she was so afraid to be caught. Buo ang desisyon ko sa
lahat, kung pakakasalan ko siya ay mawawalan ng karapatan sa kanya ang Miramontes
at ako ang bahala sa lahat ng ipapataw nila kay Sileas. Wala akong ibang gustong
gawin kundi ang maisalba siya sa lahat ng kanyang kinatatakutan. I wasn't intending
to force her into marriage and I know it wasn't right because she's still young.

Inasahan ko na rin namang tatanggihan niya ako pero iba pa rin talaga iyong sakit
kapag sa kanya mismo nanggaling.

For years, I was suffering from loneliness because I wanted her... beside me. Kaso
ayaw ko namang pilitin siya sa isang bagay na para lang sa kagustuhan ko. I was
actually proud that she turned my proposal down because I could see her eagerness
to learn and find herself independently. Masaya ako sa desisyon niya para sa sarili
niya, I wouldn't be selfish about that because anything would make her feel better
is my happiness.

Para sa kanya naman iyon at kahit alam kong wala akong aasahan ay pinilit ko pa
ring umasa sa ilang taon. Inaamin ko na ilang beses akong sumubok makipagdate para
makaahon mula sa kahapon pero mukhang walang balak ang puso kong palitan at tabunan
siya.

"Well, I suggested a grand wedding but I guess they're excited to get married
within this year." Mama chuckled.

We decided to settle a formal dinner with my family, Mrs. and Mr. Placido along
with Tito Prudence, Tita Fili and Philo. I felt nothing but pure bliss, I actually
expected the night like this.

Nakausap ni Sileas si Tita Gabbana noong isang araw na bumisita kami, I let them
talk alone so I didn't really hear what it was all about but they both went out
with puffy eyes. Sileas was crying to me on our way home, telling how much the talk
with her mom meant a lot. I was happy to hear that, she sounded so contented and
relieved. Iyon lang naman ang gusto ko.

Tita Gabbana nodded and glanced at Tito Prudence as if asking for anything to
reply.

"If that's what they want, it's alright!" Tito Prudence chuckled. "Hindi naman ako
ang magpapakasal, silang dalawa kaya hindi kailangan ng opinyon ko sa bagay na
iyan."

Papa smirked and nodded in agreement. "My son will surely plan for another grand
wedding, maybe next year."

"Well, Sileas was hater of marriage—"

"Pa!" saway ni Sileas, natatawa at simpleng sumulyap kay Tita Gabbana na walang
imik. She seems happy for Sileas, though. "Anyway, I don't really need a grand
wedding for us. Mas maganda siguro kung sa savings na lang iyon para sa future."

"What?" Mama gasped and looked at us. "Your fiance is a CEO! It wouldn't be a waste
to have it special and memorable! Don't worry about the future, Arlow will surely
work hard for your family!"

Tita Gabbana looked pleased, tumango ng tipid at nagtaas ng kilay sa akin.

I smiled and rested my hand on Sileas lap under the table, nilingon niya ako at
nginusuan.
"Our future is secured with assurance, baby." I wiggled my eyebrows at her while
grinning boyishly. "We'll have a grand wedding pero gusto ko sana kapag may anak na
kami, iyon ang ring bearer at flower girls."

Sileas gasped with wide eyes, halos matawa sa sinabi ko at agad namula ang pisngi.
Naubo naman si Tito Prudence, Tito Hartell laughed with Papa in amusement.

"That would be really lovely!" Mama giggled.

"Ring bearer at flower girls? Ilan 'yon?" Tito Prudence huffed. "So the grand
wedding will be years and years from now, huh?"

Tita Fili giggled more. "Oh my, God! That's really grand!"

Philo grunted with a lazy eye roll and Sileas looked at him questioningly.

"Yes, Philo? Any warning for my fiance?"

Philo glanced at me glaringly. "Heard about family planning? If you're planning to

have a baby every year, it would be hard for Ate as a mother of your children.
You're not the one who'll carry them every year so please have some consideration
for your future wife and light of home."

Sileas laughed and I couldn't help but laughed loudly.

"Easy, brother-in-law! I was just kidding! Hindi ko pahihirapan ang Ate mo, kukuha
kami ng maraming nannies para sa mga babies namin," pang-asar ko lalo.

Philo groaned. "I know you're a smart man, I'll stop right now."

Tawa nang tawa si Sileas habang ako ay pigil dahil baka mapikon si Philo, ayaw ko
namang magkaroon ng inis sa akin ang bayaw ko.

Isang anak pa lang naman ang plano ko sa ngayon, gusto ko na kasing magkababy kami
para hindi lang si Sileas iyong bine-baby ko. Masyado na siyang damulag! My
original plan is to have two babies, a girl and a boy only with at least three
years age gap so Sileas could adjust inside the motherhood. Pero na kay Sileas
iyon, dapat tigilan niya akong akitin pagtapos ng plano namin. Sa kanya nakasalalay
iyon.

But it's impossible, I always crave for her! She's my damn addiction.

"Galing talaga ng Kuya namin. Nice discussion, son!" Tito Prudence said proudly.
"Sana hindi lang ngayon 'yan, magbinata kang ganyan!"

Tita Fili hit him while laughing. Tita Gabbana looked at them and a smile crept on
her lips when she glanced at Philo who was silently eating now.

Sileas smiled. "Thank you, Papa and Mommy. And everyone here for making this
possible. I was kind of nervous about this but I guess we're all okay!"

I was smiling and listening to her. She was thanking her parents and my parents
with a little appreciation message, mamaya siguradong iiyak na naman iyan.

"And Chancent, my future husband. I'm really thankful that you're mine! Hindi ako
makapaniwala na tayo pala talaga ang magkakatuluyan!" natawa siya habang nakatingin
sa akin. "I just want them to hear how special and gifted you are as my boyfriend
back then until now! You really deserve more appreciation for opening my eyes
around. I learned a lot from you, you're like an angel sent from heaven that made
me into much better person than what I was!" she said sincerely, close to tears.

I took a deep breath and lifted my arm to caress her back, I don't really like it
when she's emotional because I could feel my own fall. I kissed her hair and
chuckled with a whisper. "You're very much welcome, let's call this a night now,
baby, please..."

She pouted and kissed my cheek before smiling at them. 

I am more than thankful, Sileas... you don't know how much I love you because even
me, can't answer. I couldn't measure fully, it was too loaded and high to reach.

"I love you," I whispered while she's busy listening to my Mama's advices. "Very
much."

Napanguso siya at nagpigil ng ngiti habang si Mama ay pailalim ang tinging ginawad
sa akin na tila alam ang sinabi ko. She was teasing us with that look! Kinurot ni
Sileas ang hita ko sa ilalim ng table, nginuso niya agad sila Tito Prudence, Tito
Hartell at Papa na lumalakad palabas ng silid.

I grinned and stood up knowingly, pagkatayo ko ay yumuko pa ako para manghingi ng

halik. Nakatitig lang siya at ayaw akong pagbigyan dahil sa hiya niya kila Mama.

Tss, arte. Hindi nga lang iyan ang nagagawa namin!

I had to steal a quick kiss and winked at her before walking.

"Psst!" tawag atensyon niya sa akin kaya napalingon ulit ako. "No smoking, ha."

I chuckled and nodded like a kid. "Promise."

"Ikaw pala ang magpapahinto riyan!" Mama scoffed.

"Hindi, Mama. Iyong lips niya!" halakhak ko.

Sileas glared at me with red cheeks, napasipol na lang ako at tuluyang umalis ng
silid habang natatawa.

I'm extremely in love with Sileas that makes me want to live the life without end,
I wanna live with her eternally without limitation and boundaries to stop us loving
each other. I assure everyone and everything that this will never fail, I will
never lose the chance she gave me again to keep her. She's like my collided heaven
and hell without weaknesses but only power to hold, she owns me completely and that
gives her everything in me.

———

Thank you for reading Unholy Mess even though I was struggling with laziness to
update, I appreciated all the support while writing this.

(03-30-20)

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