During my life, I have had to deal with quite a few situations that caused me to

change as a person and overcome them. In 2012 when I was 7 years old, my family
welcomed a baby, a younger brother to me. It was my second younger brother. For the
first 3 months of his life, he was just a happy little boy until June of 2012 when
during a checkup, the doctors noticed he wasn’t quite developing at the typical
speed a baby should and wanted to send him to Riley Children's Hospital in
Indianapolis, Indiana. In the coming days, they found out that his lungs hadn’t
quite developed correctly and that they held fluid in them. This was just the start
of many issues that would compile over the next few months as he stayed in the
hospital. He dealt with Leukemia, he was diagnosed with Noonan Syndrome which is a
genetic disorder that affects growth in the body, countless blood transfusions and
surgeries, and was on a ventilator for a considerable amount of time. At least one
of my parents stayed out with him every single of those 109 days but always had
someone home, providing and being there for me and my other brother as well. For
109 days, he fought a fight stronger than anyone I know and it just killed me
everytime we would stay out there and he would be crying out in pain when doctors
would come into the room to try to do their best.
Late September into early October of 2012, it seemed like things might have
been starting to brighten up a bit and go in the direction necessary to go to the
next step in his care until that was all erased when he ended up with a blood
infection. That was all that his body could take and my parents had to make the
decision to pull him from the ventilator. On October 11th, my grandparents, my
brother and I made the drive out there and were told by my parents that he couldn’t
fight any longer. I was 8. I didn’t quite understand the impact of those words
until later and they are still words that I hear in my head. That moment plays like
a bad dream, over and over and over. I remember opening up his hand, putting a
1994 Brickyard 400 diecast in it, kissing him on the forehead and telling him I
loved him so much. In my mind, he was going to be my racing buddy I always wanted.
I was young and innocent so that was all I wanted. Just to be brothers, play games
and just love each other. October 12th was the day that he passed away. That was
one of the darkest days of my life. The funeral for him the next week broke me even
more. So many people showed up because the story of what he dealt with was a big
deal in the town and to see that many people come to be there to try to comfort me
and my family was overwhelming. In the time after, I went to a little bit of
therapy to try to get through the loss which helped a considerable amount. School
that year was really tough because there would be a few things that would trigger
my reminders of him. The years that followed were coping years and by 2014, I was
feeling good because my little sister was born..
2015 was the year that my life started to change exponentially. I have always
been super close to my grandparents on my mother’s side. My grandpa is a big reason
I am the way I am today between my fandom of motorsports along with the Cleveland
Browns and with some of the things I do. My grandmother had a similar impact to me
as well when it comes to how I try to carry myself. In September of 2016, my
grandpa was arrested from a DUI. My mom sat me down and explained what happened. To
my knowledge at the time, I didn’t know that my grandpa had a drinking problem.
After the arrest, he called me and told me how sorry he was and how much he loved
me. I, of course, was upset but I couldn’t be mad at him. That November, he went
off to a rehab center for a few weeks. We visited him out at the place once and he
was so happy. He also got to come home on Christmas Eve and spend time with my
family along with my grandmother, who at this point, is in the nursing home. The
employees of the program had decided that he had completed his program ahead of
schedule and released him in early January. He had gotten sick with the flu the
week he got back but after he healed up from that, the first thing he did was come
to my basketball game. I had my only good game of basketball that Sunday. He hugged
me after the game and told me how proud of me he was and said that he would see us
later that week. Unfortunately, that didn’t happen. That Tuesday, the 20th of
January, he was gone.
My grandpa had been drinking and it was too much for his body to handle. I
will never forget my mom breaking down telling me that he was gone. That was the
moment that I grew up. Losing him meant my childhood and innocence was never coming
back. The months that followed that day are still some of the hardest I have ever
been through. I talked to him almost daily about everything and to not have him
left me lost. His death is still something that impacts me to this day but you have
to fight through. Instead of just letting grief take over, I used the lessons he
taught me and bettered myself. My work ethic got even stronger through him because
he always wanted to see the best out of me so I am always trying to make him proud.
In 2020, my grandmother passed away as well. She was one of the most influential
people I’ve ever had in my life. She taught me how to love, how to care and to be
selfless. I deal with anxiety and depression because of these losses. Being
completely honest, I tend to hold things in and my emotions are one of those big
ones. I have never really been able to tell my family how I feel and what I deal
with. I just push through and get stuff done. I’ve never been for throwing myself a
pity party. My brain is just wired to outwork and push through. As hard as losing
these 3 key people in my life has been, I have grown as a person and they give me
motivation to strive for greatness, reach for the stars and take a hold of them.