Day 1 - The Grown-Up Alternative

When I was a child, I spoke and thought and reasoned as a child.

But when I grew up, I put away childish things. 1 CORINTHIANS
13:11

Counselors often ask their clients how old they feel on the inside,
especially when in the presence of a parent, a boss, or some other
authority figure. Most people answer that they feel somewhere
between four and sixteen years old. And that can be a problem.

If I feel like I'm only eight or ten when I'm in the presence of a
parent, part of me is still living as a wounded child, probably
because I experienced some kind of emotional injury that left me
stuck. So even though I am chronologically an adult, I am still
speaking, thinking, and reasoning childishly. To take my life back, I
need to address those childhood wounds and grow up mentally
and emotionally.

One childish thing many of us do is to try to get another person to

validate us and make us feel worthwhile. We give away part of
ourselves every time we do that. The grown-up alternative is to
remember that we are loved and validated by the Creator, the one
who made us in the first place.

ASK YOURSELF
» What is it you are seeking when you react as a child? What
childhood wounds in you need healing?

» What does it mean to you to be loved by the Creator of the

universe — the one who made you?

ASK GOD
Loving Father, help me as I go through this day to feel that you
love all of me, especially those parts of me that are still childish.
Give me patience as | learn more about myself and work to “grow
up” the child within me.

Day 2 - It’s Okay Not to Fit In

The world would love you as one of its own if you belonged to it,
but you are no longer part of the world. I chose you to come out of
the world, so it hates you. JOHN 15:19

Like-minded people tend to congregate together, often to the

exclusion of those they deem unworthy. This can be exhilarating if
you are one of the chosen but painful if you're among the
excluded.

If you're a new Christian, you might notice you don't fit in with your
friends the way you used to. In accepting Christ, you have “come
out of the world”. You are different now, and the unbelieving will
sense that and relate to you in a new way. You should still reach
out to everyone as God directs you, but it is important to
understand that it is okay not to fit in. Taking your life back can
also give you that sense that you don't fit. You relate to other
people differently than you did, and that can make all of you
uncomfortable. That's okay too! In the long run, you'll find that all
your relationships—including your relationship with God—are
healthier and more positive.

ASK YOURSELF
» Have you changed recently in ways that make you feel like an
outsider? How can you handle the discomfort positively?

» How can you reach out to the world without being a part of it?

ASK GOD
Dear Lord, I know that I am a new creature in you and that you are
still in the process of changing me for the better. Keep me from
gauging my worthiness by what others think. Show me who I am
in you, Lord, and cause me to shine so that the world sees you.

Day 3 - The Power of Good Judgment

Leave your simple ways behind, and begin to live; learn to use
good judgment. PROVERBS 9:6

Think of your “simple ways” as the time before you began the
process of taking Your life back. Living reactively was exhausting
and painful, but it was also relatively easy. No judgment was
required. You behaved this way for so long that your reactions
were practically automatic.

But recovery requires you to use good judgment before

responding to something that happens. That takes effort,
especially when you encounter new challenges and attempt new
behaviors.

Showing good judgment means you make an effort to discriminate

between the choices available to you. In the past, your judgment
may have been clouded by your need for approval or your feelings
of unworthiness. But that’s the old way of thinking. Now you can
begin to ask questions like, Am I acting in a caring way because of
the wrong motives? Am I able to help this other person and still
take care of myself? Am I offering to do something the other
person needs to do for himself?

The more you use good judgment, the more naturally it will come
to you —and the faster your healing will progress.

ASK YOURSELF
» What reactive behaviors are still automatic in your life? What
behaviors are based on good judgment?

» What other questions have helped you increasingly use good

judgment?

ASK GOD
God, | want to grow in my ability to use good judgment and to
base my choices on my relationship with you. Help me in that
effort to grow and to take my life back Thank you.

Day 4 - Why Argue?

Hatred stirs up quarrels, but love makes up for all offenses.

PROVERBS 10:12

Are you feeling the love these days? More importantly, are you
spreading the love? Everywhere we look it seems people are
“standing up for their rights, pointing out the flaws in others, and
making sure that they themselves a never being slighted. This
contentious way of relating to each other is tolerated or even
applauded, while gentleness and peacefulness seem to be
equated with weakness.

An aggressive me-me-me focus is not the same as caring for

ourselves or even loving ourselves. In fact, it’s toxic to both
individual relationships and society in general, and it won't help us
take our lives back. Instead, we are instructed to love one other
the way that God loves us (see John 13:34).

Godly love, shared freely, can overcome the effects that hatred
and fighting have on this world. Do your best not to get caught up
in quarreling and discord, don't be quick to take offense, and
check your motives for hate and resentment. Strive to be an
ambassador of love wherever you go, even as you work for
healing in your own life.

ASK YOURSELF
» How do you usually respond to others when they approach you
with an argumentative spirit?

» What habits can you form that will prevent you from being
quarrelsome with others? How can you care for yourself and still
be loving toward others?

ASK GOD
Dear God, | want to be a blessing to those I come in contact with.
If there is anything in my spirit or my actions that would promote
hatred or strife, please point it out to me and show me how to
change. I truly want to be an ambassador of your love.

Day 5 - Loving Yourself Is Not Selfish

To acquire wisdom is to love yourself; people who cherish

understanding will prosper. PROVERBS 19:8

This verse offers a good antidote to the pressure we often feel

from others and put on ourselves—not to be “selfish.” Can loving
ourselves really be the wise choice?

Many of us grew up thinking that caring for ourselves is the same

as being as selfish or self-centered. But that’s not true at all.

Think about it. When we love someone, we want that person to be

healthy and cared for and to enjoy positive relationships. When we
love ourselves, we want that love and care and health in our own
lives—and we'll never get that by being selfish. Self-care actually
frees us to relate appropriately and even unselfishly with others.
When our needs are met, we're in much better shape to relate to
others without placing undue demands on them. Self-care makes
it possible for us to relate to them responsively rather than
reactively.

Something else to note about this verse—there’s a close

relationship between developing wisdom and growing in
understanding. The one leads to the other. Godly wisdom seeks to
understand both ourselves and God. In so doing we develop
healthier relationships with God, other people, and ourselves.

ASK YOURSELF
» Why do you think that loving ourselves is so often dismissed as
being selfish? Has that been part of your experience?

» How hard is it for you to take care of yourself and show yourself
the love you need? How can seeking wisdom and understanding
help you with that?

ASK GOD
Father God, help me to seek your wisdom and to understand your
ways better. Help me understand how much you love me. And out
of your love for me, help me to love myself and others more.

Day 6 - Living Past Fear

While Zechariah was in the sanctuary, an angel of the Lord

appeared to him, standing to the right of the incense altar.
Zechariah was shaken and overwhelmed with fear when he saw
him. LUKE 1:11-12

Fear is an interesting emotion. The more we give in to being

afraid, the more afraid we tend to become. When Zechariah saw
an angel, his reaction was the same as Mary’s reaction when an
angel visited her. Both were overwhelmed with fear. But in each
case, the angel's message to them was, “Don't be afraid” (Luke
1:13, 30).

God does not want his people to live in fear! Often, when we give
our lives away to the seeming needs of others, our basic
motivation is fear. We are afraid to be ourselves and afraid of
others’ reactions. (If you struggle with such feelings, know that you
are not alone.) God provides what we need to live beyond these
fears: “For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of
power, love, and self-discipline” (2 Timothy 1:7). Notice that Paul
states this to his protégé, Timothy, as something that has already
happened. God has given us power. If we're still living in fear, we
simply haven't chosen to receive this gift.

ASK YOURSELF
» Describe a typical situation in which you feel fear. How could you
move against that fear?

» Memorize 2 Timothy 1:7 and repeat it to yourself whenever you

are faced with a fearful situation.

ASK GOD
God of power and love, thank you for your gift of power, love, and
self-discipline. Help me to trust you and face fearful situations in
your power. Help me to hear your voice saying to me, “Don't be
afraid”

Day 7 - I’m Experiencing a New Life

Anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old
life is gone; a new life has begun! 2 CORINTHIANS 5:17

When we acknowledge Jesus as our higher power, we start a new

life—one characterized by being loved and accepted instead of
being shamed or condemned. But the fullness of this life doesn’t
come to us automatically.

Notice that Paul says, “A new life has begun.’ It’s as if God has
erased the slate, giving us a fresh start. But now we must learn
new behaviors and attitudes that allow us to take back the life God
intended us to experience.

Part of the new life we've begun is learning to care about

ourselves as well as others. For too long we have believed that we
can care for others only at our own expense. But that makes us
feel like we are trying to fill someone else's glass with an empty
pitcher. We need God's help to learn how to balance our caring.
That's an important way to take our lives back.

ASK YOURSELF
» Think of a situation in which you cared for someone else at the
cost of your physical, mental, or emotional health. What was your
motivation in doing so?

» What makes it hard for you to practice self-care, to make certain

you have something to give?

ASK GOD
Heavenly Father, you gave so much for me by sending Jesus to
die on my behalf. Help me to see how much you value me as a
person. Help me to see that you love me no matter what.

______

If this 7-day devotional has blessed you, please consider the

full 365-day journey toward hope and healing from difficult
circumstances that exert power over your life. Take charge of
your past and look forward with confidence and faith to the road
that lies ahead with the full book, Take Your Life Back Day by
Day - Inspiration to Live Free One Day at a Time
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